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violettduchess · 11 months

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🎉🎊🎉 1K!!! 🎉🎊🎉

I'm so happy for you!!!!! You deserve all the love and admiration, my dear. Not only is your writing fantastic, you're sweet and I definitely consider you a friend of mine here. I appreciate you 💕

Now... could I request Theo and kissing to prove a point for your 1k celebration? I feel that's very him haha.

A/N: Here you are, @yarnnerdally 💜

Theo x f reader

Prompt: A Kiss to Prove a Point

Word Count: 1203

It has taken days of planning and many sleepless nights, but now you are finally done. The petite art gallery on the west side of Paris is decorated with elegant floral garlands and soft, twinkling fairy lights, all highlighting the theme of the collection: Romance. You’re tired, but it is a satisfied kind of tired, the kind that settles into your muscles and bones like a lioness sinking down onto the soft Savannah earth after a rewarding hunt. The artist behind the collection had been no one, just another street painter trying to sell his offerings to mildly interested tourists when you had noticed him and his work, stopping dead in your tracks to admire a painting of a couple locked in a warm embrace. They lay in a field of green grass and small pink blossoms, wrapped in one another’s arms. They're bathed in soft yellow sunshine, locked together in an eternal summer kiss. Something about the painting had felt so inviting, so real, you had pressed the tips of your fingers against your lips, your heart swelling with a wave of longing to be kissed the same way. By a certain someone.

Theo had agreed with you, once you had managed to drag him away from the mansion and back to the park where the artist was slowly packing up his wares. Buffeted by the man’s potential, you had worked together on putting together a showing of his paintings, drumming up funds from various patrons until you had enough for your showcase.

Now you walk through the small gallery, drinking in the fruits of your labor.

“There you are.” Theo’s deep voice cuts through your reverie and you turn to see him approaching you, glass of sparkling champagne in hand. He hands you one which you take with an appreciative smile.

“Cheers,” you say, lifting it towards him.

“Proost,” he answers, clinking glasses with you. Your gazes hold (you could swim forever in all that blue) Before the moment stretches into something too long to be insignificant, you both raise the delicate crystal flutes and drink. The cascade of bubbles feels like it's not just rushing down your throat but through your entire body. You blink, turning towards the painting you are closest to.

It’s the passionate couple, kissing in the summer field. The one that had so immediately caught your attention. You sigh, a light, dreamy sound that pours itself over Theo like silk, sending an unexpected rush of heat through his body. He rubs his face, turning away to hide any color that may have risen to his chiseled cheeks. You don't notice, eyes glued to the figures as you allow yourself another sip of champagne. Now, in the dimmer lighting of the art gallery late at night, there is something even more sensual about the way the couple is holding each other. His hand pressed against the rounded curve of his lover's hip, her fingers curled against the side of his neck, intimate, possessive.

“This is as satisfying as a real kiss,” you murmur, head tilting as you continue to admire the art. What pulls you out of your rose-colored haze is the decidedly unromantic snort from your right.

“If you think a painting can replace a real kiss, then you haven’t been kissing the right person, hondje.”

He’s smirking as he takes a sip of his drink, his impossibly blue eyes looking over the painting. The fairy lights are having the same effect on him as they do the artwork: he looks unfathomably beautiful, his golden hair darker than in the daylight, his face a sculptor’s dream of perfectly balanced features.

Maybe it’s the champagne. Maybe it’s the intimacy of the late hour. Maybe it’s the fact that you have been spinning from one task to another all day long without a chance to spend any time with him. It has to be something because the following words come out of your mouth:

“Prove me wrong.”

Three little words that stop the earth from turning, that grab hold of Theo’s lungs with such force that the next inhale shakes. Three little words that hang in the air between you, vaguely foreboding like flickering neon or distant thunder.

Warning flashes through your mind and you want to kick yourself and your big mouth. Why did you say that? Whatever possessed you to even think that Theodorus van Gogh would be interested in kissing–

Theodorus van Gogh sets his champagne glass down on the edge of a table full of brochures and then turns. He reaches out with both hands, cupping either side of your face and leans down, capturing your mouth with his. You freeze, both arms at your sides, the champagne in your glass sloshing around like a tiny, storm-tossed sea.

Is he…..

Oh….

…..he is….

He’s kissing you, his lips moving over yours in a shockingly gentle caress, his hands holding you still, not forcefully, but carefully, like you’re something valuable, something he should handle with care. He displays a tenderness you would never have dreamed possible in a man as large as he is. Every movement of his mouth against yours sends a ripple of warmth through your body. One hand shifts, the back of his fingers stroking the softness of your cheek.

Your surprise slowly melts under his touch, disappearing like water droplets in sunshine, and your free hand rises to clutch his shoulder. You hold on tightly, reveling in the electricity every brush of his lips sparks. But before you can part your lips in invitation, before you can start truly returning his kiss, he pulls away, the movement causing a short, forlorn gasp to leave your tingling lips.

Quiet descends upon you both and for a long, tense moment, neither one of you speaks. Words seem impossible as you stare into the summer-sky of his eyes. He clears his throat, shaking his head as if trying to wake himself out of a dream. At that moment you feel him pulling away, the warmth of his kiss and the tenderness of his hands fading into memory. Your heart lurches in panic.

“Theo.”

He grunts, unable to meet your gaze.

You step towards him, setting your champagne glass down next to his. Your hands are now free to reach out, steadier than you expected them to be, and take his, holding his strong hands tightly in yours.

“I believe…..I am starting to be swayed by your persuasive argument. But I do think I need more proof before I am fully convinced.”

His head snaps up and on his handsome face you see a dazzling array of emotions, starting with surprise and ending with a slow smile that sends your heart spinning. He pulls you towards him, unhurried, a man who now knows he has a delicious treat waiting just for him.

"More proof, huh,” he murmurs, unlocking your hands so he can slide his around you, large palms eagerly learning the curve of your hips, the slope of your waist.

You plunge your hand boldly into the thicket of his golden hair as he bends his body down to kiss you for the second time that night.

By the night’s end though….you will have lost count entirely.

Tagging: @aquagirl1978 @alixennial @alexxavicry @queengiuliettafirstlady @rhodolitesrose @ikemen-writer @bellerose-arcana @thewitchofbooks @redheadkittys @dear-mrs-otome @firestar-otomeobsessed @curious-skybunny @kpop-and-otome @writingwhimsey @mxrmaid-poet @silver-dahlia @wendolrea @otomefoxystar @nightfoxqueen @myonlyjknight @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @bubblexly

#ikemen series #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp theo #theodorus van gogh #ikemen theo #ikemen fanfiction #ikemen fanfic #otome fanfic #1k first kiss celebration #violettwrites

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meimi-haneoka · 11 months

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 74: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Here we are, welcome back everyone!! End of the month, time for another chapter leading us into this exciting finale for Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card!! I want to start this post with a little foreword before diving into the chapter itself and the eventual translation differences ✨ I just wanted to say that I write this post with a sense of pride but also with even more sense of responsability compared to the previous months. You've probably stumbled upon my recent report of the latest CLAMP Space, where the authors have talked about CCS Clear Card, and their support/blessing to "people addressing the translation differences in their monthly posts on their blog, because they felt uncomfortable about them". Although they never straight up gave names, I certainly feel like they were talking about blogs like mine. And so I'm humbled (and even a little nervous) to be able to keep doing this, since I've wondered multiple times if it was even proper for me to write these posts every month, as if I was leading a crusade against the official English translation. In fact, I'm not. And I hope that's clear enough. When the ENG translation respects the vibe and original intention coming out from sensei's words in the manga panels, like this time around, I always make sure to say positive things about it. But try to understand me, the irritation runs deep because these are years of translation differences accumulating and at times even changing the perception of the story. And then, you stumble upon English speaking fans on the internet who got the gist of the story wrong or disrespecting/failing to appreciate it because of such translation mistakes (we go from Sakura calling Syaoran "Li-kun" in one of the earliest volumes, to Kaito saying that he wanted to give magic to Akiho, wtf??). And I think it's such a pity. It's not fair. The fandom deserves to know what the script is trying to say with a meaning as closer as possible to the original one. I hope I'll be able to help in that regard, for what's in my possibility and with my limited skills, till Clear Card will be over. ✨

OKAY, now let's cut the chatter and see what happened in this chapter!! I'm happy to say that this time around, translation-wise, we don't have anything impairing the correct understanding of the plot, just nuances! As usual, before starting, we can't skip the gif of the month!!

The Color Page

Oh my gosh! Sakura! You look amazing here!!! Such a fierce stare!! She looks just like a powerful and respected magician and OMG THEY GAVE HER A BLACK OUTFIT!! JUST LIKE I'VE BEEN ASKING EVER SINCE THE BEGINNING! I don't know, maybe the veteran followers of this blog can remember, but I've always wished to see Sakura in a black costume/dress in Clear Card 😊 She looks stunning...and what's more, she's once again with the gears and clocks decorations, just like in the period of the Clockland play. But, heheh, this time the clock looks different. The big clocks that were featured during the Clockland chapters (with Sakura + Syaoran, Akiho and lastly Kaito) were often "strange". They all had the same design, the one with SyaoSaku was "regular", but the ones next to Akiho and Kaito had their numbers either in messed up order, or straight up wrong (what kind of clock got '0' as the only number?). I had already assumed by then that they had a significance we had to decode along the development of the finale. This one in this color page, however, really looks like the most classical clock with roman numerals. The order of the numbers and their position seems correct. So could this be a sign that Sakura is about to restore order into this mess that Kaito's desperate wish created? The text on the JP version is the classic incantation to release the Dream staff from the key (we haven't heard it in a looooong time because she manifests her staff immediately, by now!) I also want to point out that we *still* don't have any announcement of "Clear Card ending in next chapter" or "Clear Card ends in 2 chapters!" like it's custom in these serializations, so I can say with confidence that Sakura won't surely be over in chapter 75 (at the beginning of July) but probably not even in chapter 76 (at the beginning of August). Are they aiming at chapter 77 (beginning of September)? Double 7, it's a lucky number for CLAMP ✨ For those worried about "3 chapters aren't enough to finish this!!", please consider that it's not so much about the number of chapters, but the amount of pages. This chapter for example is already longer than usual, 35 pages. That's what really matters, and we could get even an epilogue or some additional pages in the volume version! And now onto to the actual chapter!

An Important Discussion

Yukito, Nakuru and Touya are leisurely spending time at Yukito's home, with a funny scene of Yukito feeding some mikan to Nakuru (and she seems delighted by the cozyness of Japanese kotatsu!). Suddenly, Touya announces that Sakura is coming over. Yukito worries about how it's getting dark and that maybe it'd be better to go pick her up along the way, but a grumpy Touya says there's no need for that: along with Sakura are also coming Syaoran, Akiho and even Tomoyo. Yukito and Nakuru can't help but being surprised, and Nakuru wonders "The all-stars are coming? What's going on?" 😂 I found so hilarious the use of the term "all-stars", which in Japanese usually indicates a whole cast of a performance composed of famous actors, and sometimes it's applied to sports team too. But the room temperature drops immediately when Yukito looks at Touya, with a very pensive face, and it's immediately clear that something serious happened and Sakura is coming to discuss that. Touya might not know exactly what, but as we can see, he's already got a feeling.

Sakura and the kids arrive, apologizing for coming so suddenly, and they sit down, all with very serious faces (save for Tomoyo. Tomoyo never loses her calm composure 😆). Sakura starts dropping the bomb immediately: "I want to talk to you about something very weird" and "I want everyone who knows about the Cards and magic to hear this". Sakura is dead serious, and she informs Syaoran (sitting at her left side) that she's just told everything to Akiho shortly ago. She also tells Kero and Suppy to come out of her purse, for the second time (since the first was halted by the rewriting of the forbidden magic) putting an end to the farce of Kero constantly needing to act like a plushie in front of Touya!! Remember when the fandom used to point out that it was weird that Kero kept hiding from Touya, despite saying himself at the end of the Sakura Card Arc (after Touya gave his powers to Yue/Yukito) that he was perfectly aware that Touya knew everything about them? That really felt like a "plot hole" (maybe at this point the only REAL plot hole) for the longest time, and I am honest when I say that I had already given up hoping to see an explanation for it, wanting to treat it like a "glitch" in the narrative and using suspension of disbelief to overcome it! Well well well, CLAMP surprised me again! Cause in this chapter they actually tried to give an explanation to that "discrepancy"! And of course, being this about Kero, the explanation is rather silly (confession - I didn't understand Kero's reasoning very well, but I'll give my interpretation of what he said): Kero saw that even after that event, Touya didn't try to interact with him and thought that maybe he didn't consider him a cute and gorgeous magical creature, but rather something else....(was he butt-hurt?) Suppy of course is spitting fire cause why the heck did we need to keep pretending to be plushies?? and Kero's reply is "Because I thought it'd be fun pretending to be plushies together when you came over!". Now, if you remember how difficult and taxing it was for Suppy to force himself to stay still, you can understand why he's so mad! 😂 Touya says, quite annoyed, that he simply didn't try to interact with him because he thought that Kero was getting a kick out of acting like a plushie! I feel like sensei have quite reached and almost broke the 4th wall with this scene, because Sakura here says something that I'm pretty sure many of us have thought in regard to this "discrepancy": "I did wonder at some point why you kept that up despite I was telling you multiple times that I had the feeling my brother was onto you". And it's true, we've seen that in volume 4! Well, to me it felt like a stretch, but eventually we got an explanation for that situation so I guess it's better to leave it behind us! 😂

Cause we have more important matters at hand. Sakura places her phone on the table, showing Eriol & Kaho in videocall!! NOW all the "stars" of this show are present! 😂 So Sakura starts her recount of the most recent events, saying "It's really weird...but I swear it happened". After everyone listened to Sakura, of course they're all surprised. Nakuru wonders if there's any magician who can really have the power to "rewrite" a world...Eriol says that as far as he's heard, there isn't any magician among the living ones who has that degree of power. However, if said magician had access to a "medium" able to use the "forbidden magic", then it's another story. And that's the Book Sakura told them about. Sakura confirms that the one who told her all of this is the Guardian of the book herself. And then, to Akiho: "The plushie shaped like a bunny that you cherished so much was the temporary form of that Guardian. You named her 'Momo' ". Here I have to point out that the way the ENG translated it infers that Akiho remembers about Momo ("You know that stuffed bunny you loved so much?"), but actually in the JP version it's mostly Sakura informing Akiho that she used to cherish a bunny-shaped plushie, cause Akiho has no recollection of it. In fact, right after, she answers "But that's the title of a book I really love so much!". THERE IT IS! I've mentioned this many times in my social media accounts, and even lately in my "literary references" post here on Tumblr, but it turns out this simple answer by Akiho kinda confirms that she might really have named Momo after that book. And it's not only a beloved book because of its story, but also the one she was reading when she met Kaito for the first time. I've always thought that having her most beloved plushie named that way, and having precisely that book when they met for the first time couldn't have been unrelated. So I'm really happy for this scene here and I hope it'll get eventually confirmed better later.

Sakura takes Akiho's hands (she'll do that a lot this chapter and I simply love it) and reassures her about something that I was SURE she was going to say:

JP: "The fact that we became twins is an effect of the rewritten (world), but the fact that you are an important person to me didn't change at all, Akiho-chan"

I've preferred putting the JP version here because once again we have the usual stuff that I complain about lately: Sakura in JP used 大切なひと (important person) to describe her relationship with Akiho, and this is absolutely coherent with all the previous times. In ENG they used "you're special to me", but the adjective "special" in Japanese (特別な) in relation to a person has been consistently used in the latest chapters to describe the person Sakura is in love with (and not only Sakura). So they shouldn't have used that adjective in particular. They should stick to the literal translation. Especially cause that "special person" will come up in a few pages. I know I sound pedantic with this separation between "important person" and "special person", but I mean, CLAMP sensei are consistently keeping that distinction so I'm convinced the translation should do its best to keep it, because it's a guide to lead the readers among the relationships of CCS. Which sometimes can be quite complex.

Touya teases Sakura again with the sis-con joke, and Yukito teases him back by saying "Are you talking about yourself now?" (I love how Yukito always teases the big and grumpy Touya 😂they're really made for eachother). Tomoyo comments that it's been "a sight for sore eyes" (the term used in JP is 眼福, ganpu, and it's used when you see something precious) to see Sakura in the role of the big sister and Akiho in the one of the little sister. Akiho is moved by the fact that, despite everyone knowing the truth now, nobody shunned her or rejected her presence, and exactly like I imagined, I'm 100% sure Sakura will keep thinking about her as a sister (not a blood-related sister maybe, but surely with the same importance of one) even after everything will be solved later. Cause the bond between her and Akiho was never a fabricated thing, but always been genuine from day 1. Even if they got close in such a short period of time, it's just what happens normally in real life too. Sometimes you bond very tightly with people over a short period of time, cause you feel you're so compatible.

So Sakura continues. She says that for this reason, she wants to bring (someone) back. She's convinced that what the Record Card showed to her is not everything. She feels like there is someone who is missing from both what the Record Card had shown to her and from this rewritten world as well. Syaoran is confused, "they're missing, and yet you're sure they're there?". Sakura understands that confusion and says "It's weird, right? I can't really explain how I know it, but I just do." And then, towards Akiho: "That person....is your special person, Akiho-chan". There it is, the infamous "special person" again. It's clear what Sakura is meaning here. "This is the person you're in love with, Akiho-chan". Of course Akiho's face cannot be any other than a dismayed one at hearing that. And then the pain comes, all at once, piercing her heart and leaving her speechless. Sakura says that the Record Card wasn't showing anyone with Akiho in one of the scenes, and yet she saw her extremely happy. That was enough for Sakura to know that someone was indeed there with Akiho.

I'm Always Searching For Someone

We're shown one of the most important scenes for anyone liking Akiho and Kaito (and their bond), the night that Akiho was so brave to confess her feelings to him through a covert (and very local) way, claiming that "the moon is really beautiful". And in the same occasion he accepted to spend some time strolling and talking to her. It was clear from the moment that scene happened that it would've become important later. And the readers who know what happened and what we lost are feeling probably the same pain Akiho is feeling right now, only that she's unaware of what is causing it. Akiho says "I'm really happy to live with you, Sakura, and everyone in the Kinomoto household, but...I've been in pain. Because I'm always looking for someone who's not there...". So Akiho did feel the effects of that void. The void that only your most important person can leave when they're gone. It's just that, we've seen her being so happy with her "new" family, and yet exactly like most of the fandom imagined, that didn't really work to fill the void Kaito left. It's impossible to fill that void because that person is just irreplaceable. This scene of course stabbed my heart but I had imagined that we would've seen it sooner or later. Sakura gets more confident with the confession of what Akiho's been feeling, and tells her that she thinks the one she didn't want to lose and the one who rewrote their world are the same person. "So I'm going to bring them back". Sakura announces with a smile, but Kero just wonders in dismay how she's going to do that. Sakura believes that the pocket watch in Akiho's possession will show her how. As if on cue, Akiho takes it out of her purse and places it on the table in front of Sakura's phone, where Eriol and Kaho can see it. They recognize it's a magical artifact specialized in time magic, but they also recognize that in order for a magician to be able to use it, they would need to have a tremendous amount of magical powers. Akiho suddenly panics. It dawns on her. I think the mental connection she's made is "if Sakura wants to use this to bring my special person back, she would need to achieve an amount of magical powers that could put her in harm's way". Aside, of course, from all the other dangers that a "mission" like that could pose to our heroine. And of course she'd never be okay with that. But Sakura reassures her. "You aren't making me. I want to." Sakura explains that both when she was dealing with the Clow Cards (and we see a scene of the Final Judgement, the one where Kaho gives her the Moon Bell) and when she was transforming them into her own Cards (they show us a scene from the last battle with Eriol), she was able to overcome her troubles thanks to all of the people who loved her and cared about her.

Sakura, JP: "Therefore I want to do what I can for my important person, too"

Again the use of 大切なひと (important person) in relation to Akiho. I think this panel in particular is pretty important (and the big font indeed suggests so). I feel like it's the core, the heart of Clear Card Arc. Sakura, whom until now was accustomed to be cherished and pampered in a protected environment by her loved ones, is starting to take the first steps towards self-assertiveness and maturity. Sometimes those loved ones would overdo it with the loving, and ended up depriving her of her own agency. Sakura is finding herself, she's starting to trust her instincts and capabilities more and more, and that leads inevitably to a question: "what do I want to do with these gifts life gave me and blessed me with? What can I do to give back to the Universe all this love I'm receiving?" Searching for her self-identity will inevitably make her step out of her comfort zone. She'll take risks. Even on herself. She'll need to assess situations, make decisions. And here she decided that she wants to use her natural gift (her magical powers) to help someone in need. Someone important to her. Someone dear who lost someone irreplaceable and lacks the means to bring him back. Sakura decides to step in, help her "sister", doing exactly what she herself told her during last chapter: if I happen to be good at something that you can't do, I'll help you out. That's the beauty of being all unique and different.

I've seen people often wondering what's the purpose of Clear Card Arc, if we really needed to this arc and such. Well, to me the answer was made manifest in this chapter. 🙂

But back to our story, Tomoyo understands that moment has finally come, so she says that maybe she can't use magic, but she felt it was best to bring along with her a certain big bag (that we all know what contains, right??). She also says that she had the feeling she had made an asymmetrical costume before, but when she went to check, she realized she hadn't made it yet...

Listen to me well, because this is the solution to the mystery of the cryptical thing Ohkawa sensei said in relation to one of Sakura's costumes, during the latest CLAMP Space! Basically, she hinted that there was a reason why we hadn't seen Sakura wearing officially (for a Card battle) this costume yet, and that we would find out why soon. I know the ENG translation here talks about "complementary outfits" (referring probably to how Tomoyo will later reveal complementary outfits for both Sakura and Syaoran), but that only shows that they misunderstood the word アシンメトリー (lit. Asymmetry). Tomoyo here was literally talking about asymmetry because the "costume she thought she had made, but didn't find in the end" was precisely the one Ohkawa was hinting at during the latest Space, the one Sakura was trying on in chapter 36 and 37! Tomoyo had a sense of deja vu, about having made an asymmetrical outfit before, but actually couldn't find it because...well, the forbidden magic had removed any reference to the Clear Cards! (including, apparently, the costumes!) So that goes to show that Tomoyo, despite not having a crumble of magic, was also subjected to the deja vu and weird feelings of "discrepancy" that such rewriting of the world would cause. But hold on tight, cause another reference is on the way!

Tomoyo continues saying that while she was sewing the sleeve of the outfit, she had the strong feeling that this costume would turn into a very special one. And what do we have here? OH YES, it's THAT sleeve, the one we've been waiting for so eagerly! The one that Sakura saw in a dream with MCF once! Sakura back then asked to MCF if they would meet outside the dream when she'd be wearing that outfit, and MCF only cryptically said that it would be "the beginning of the end". Considering now we know that MCF has been mostly a byproduct of Lilie trying to communicate with Sakura and inadvertently messing things up, I do wonder about that MCF. Was Sakura, by any chance, actually was supposed to see Kaito and she saw the robe instead, because of Lilie? Or is that an actual member of Akiho's clan? Only this finale can tell us the truth. Sakura will certainly meet someone, with that costume.

Sakura thanks Tomoyo, always so ready to show her support, and she does something very sweet, as a result of regaining all of her rewritten memories: she tells Tomoyo that she'll do her best to come back without getting the costume dirty, but if it eventually starts fraying, she knows that Tomoyo will be there to repair it.....yeah....doesn't it remind you of something?? Of course I bet any Tomoyo fan knows very well what scene Sakura is referencing with this line....

When Sakura told Tomoyo she repaired her torn costume with the Repair Card in chapter 40, Tomoyo expressed the wish to be her the one repairing those costumes, with her own hands. Because she had created them specifically for Sakura, so she would also want to be the one to repair them in case they'd get damaged. Basically telling her "I made these with all my love for you, and I'd prefer that a Card didn't take my place even when needing to repair them. I want the costumes that you wear to be made completely by my own hands". Always reminding us that making something with your own hands for your loved one is the greatest proof of love for any character in CCS (which is something I find truly wholesome and beautiful). Sakura here shows to have understood and accepted that wish fully, therefore acknowledging Tomoyo and her feelings. Tomoyo is uncharacteristically surprised for a second, and then with the happiest smile she confirms that of course she'll be there to repair it!

Sakura looks at her brother Touya, who only grumpily tells her to respect the curfew. Sakura is confused because they never had a curfew time at home, but her brother replies "Come back before dad gets worried. That's our curfew". (in ENG there's an additional part here, I guess to fill in a bubble that would be left empty) Sakura confidently replies "Got it".

Nakuru is all giddy, excitedly announcing that they decided to go to war and they need to decide the formation!! Suppy mocks her, telling her she's talking as if she were playing one of her warring states games (in JP the term used here is 戦国ゲーム - sengoku game - and I've found there's a specific game called indeed Sengoku, but it seems the same term extended to indicate all the war games set in the Sengoku era), but that doesn't deter Nakuru, who says that if she gets chosen, she will certainly participate actively (here the ENG uses game language from what I can see - not an expert - but good job!)!!

Sakura's plan is different, though. She says that tonight she'll be going only with Syaoran. She knows that if everyone could go with her, she'd feel more confident and reassured, but...

Sakura, JP: "If I want to find Akiho-chan's most important person, I have the feeling that it'd be better for me to go with my most important person"

Here we go. We temporarily leave aside the "special person" terminology to go back to the more famous and loved "my most important person" term, to indicate THE ONE person someone loves the most. 一番大切なひと (ichiban taisetsuna hito). The term we all learned because it's been so crucial to indicate the person someone was in love with during the old arcs of the story. The term Sakura eventually used for Syaoran at the end of CCS volume 12 to finally give a "definition" to the love she felt for him. Now she uses it to define Akiho's feelings for Kaito. This is "the" term that takes precedence over all the other terminology used, and also goes to show how important and solemn the moment is. Sakura's intuition tells her that in order to find Kaito, Akiho's most important person, she should go with Syaoran, her own most important person. This is probably because her magical intuition (let's remember that Sakura got the power to see the future) grasped that her bond with Syaoran will be absolutely pivotal in order to have a positive outcome for the mission they're about to embark on. They will probably have to put that bond at work....maybe to explain, show, help someone understanding something that he still doesn't seem to grasp perfectly? Or rather, a stubborn refusal to understand it, which caused them all to be in this situation they're in right now? What's for sure is that if Sakura and Syaoran manage to find Kaito, and if they'll also manage to free him from the Seal of D. + the artifact with all the magical books that Akiho had engraved in herself, their job won't certainly be over like that. Kaito needs to talk to someone. He needs to understand many, many things. Some of those things, Sakura and Syaoran can at least try to introduce them to him. Because while it's true that Sakura wants to bring him back for Akiho, she also needs to make sure that coming back is also Kaito's wish. Because they can't force him if he isn't 100% convinced himself. I'm sure this is a very important thematic for CLAMP, respecting someone's self-determination. And since his state of mind, last time we saw him, was that he was perfectly expendable and that he was absolutely not necessary in Akiho's life, they need to change that perception. And there's also the fact that, despite being so different, Kaito and Syaoran are pretty similar in several aspects too. So maybe the role Syaoran can have in "communicating" with Kaito could be very important and impactful. Maybe that's what Sakura's intuition was trying to tell her.

Here, the ENG translation decided to translate that "most important person" with "favorite person". I have definitely turned up my nose at seeing that (why not leaving the iconic term?) but in the end I decided to relax because, at the end of the day, the result is similar. It indicates a person for whom your preference and importance is above everyone else. What really *mattered* in this scene - and lo and behold, it seems ONLY the English and Portuguese versions got it right (let me know about the Chinese one, cause I can't read that one) - is that Sakura used the same term to describe what Akiho feels for Kaito, and what SHE feels for Syaoran. "I am aware that this missing person is for Akiho an existence of the same importance Syaoran-kun has for me. Therefore, I will do everything in my power to bring them back, because I fully understand that kind of bond and I understand the void they leave in your life when they're not there" She knows, to some degree, what it feels like to miss your most beloved person, due to the period she had to spend apart from Syaoran. And they could still have phone calls and writing letters. Akiho's situation can only be worse. Sakura's understanding of that bond is also what causes her intuition to suggest her to go only with Syaoran. It's all connected. So it's of utmost importance that the translations use the same term when both talking about Akiho and Sakura. Then, about this scene, we could also say that it was a beautiful demonstration of how much Sakura (but also Syaoran) has grown up, now fully confident to declare in front of everyone that Syaoran is THE most important person in her life. Without blushing and without any drama. It's just a fact. After all they've been through, I think Sakura can feel confident enough in her relatinship with Syaoran, and there's no shame nor embarrassment in stating that aloud.

The people present here can only accept and show their support, and Eriol encourages Sakura to follow her intuition (remember the whole discussion about listening to the stirring of your heart, the so-called intuition? Yeah, a great lesson from Mama Yelan which will also be applied to another character soon). Sakura tells Kero that if she needs him, she will certainly call, and the guardian beast reassures her that he'll certainly hear his master's voice, same for Yue.

Then, lastly, Sakura takes Akiho's hands and holds them tightly. They share another sweet forehead touch (seriously, I love them so much ❤️). Akiho is worried, so worried, but also very resolute. She wants this as much as Sakura does. Sakura tells her that there'll surely be a moment when she'll request Akiho to do something only she can do, and asks her to please wait here with everyone till that time comes.

I'll admit it, I was really disappointed when I've read this scene the first time around. Not only because I had imagined all kinds of scenes in my head (included Akiho wearing one of Tomoyo's costumes) and they shattered that possibility (but oh well, I am prepared to that), but also because I feel like this isn't a good choice from a character development POV. I understand it, I really understand it, this is Sakura's story. She's the one who gets to shine in the finale. And we've talked about it before, there's no doubt that Sakura in this story goes through a journey to find her identity and what she wants to do. So now it's time to let her do that. But Akiho has been slandered for the whole manga, accused of all kind of things because of prejudice, and one of those was "she's weak and passive, she does nothing". Seeing her "on the sidelines" once again, when we're talking about rescuing her most important person, feels extremely off. Letting someone else do "the job for her" doesn't even feel like Akiho.

Then, as hours passed by, I thought...

Maybe Sakura wants to take care of the first part of the mission, because it'll certainly be the one where it's most likely to encounter some magical danger (dragon-chan???). And Akiho wouldn't be able to defend herself from that, devoid of magical powers as she is. She could potentially end up risking her own life. And then all of this would've been for nothing. And then I thought, wait, maybe Akiho knows that. She knows it very well, since she's a girl with a pretty good understanding of herself and her own limits. And this is certainly a limit she does have. So what she can do is to wait safely at home, as hard and painful as it can be, for the REAL, big moment when her presence will be absolutely necessary. Sakura said it with great confidence so it's 100% sure it will come. Therefore, as an Akiho fan, I will swallow this pill and wait together with her. 🫤

But the chapter isn't over yet, as Touya and Yukito go outside in the garden while Sakura and Syaoran get dressed for their departure! Yukito teases once again Touya, telling him that his face is scary and that Sakura's earlier statement ("most important person") must have caused him "damage" (still seemingly talking in game language). Touya of course doesn't reply, so Yukito continues, giving finally confirmation to the suspicion I've been having ever since this "rewritten world" started: Touya did notice something was off. He didn't know precisely what, but he knew it had something to do with Sakura. Yukito also gives us the opportunity to see just how kind and generous Touya is: he purposely didn't go back home often because he wanted to reduce his presence around Akiho as much as possible. Not because of negative feelings, quite the contrary: he was worried she'd get even more hurt if she established a bond with him, only to end up finding out that they weren't really brother and sister. (Meanwhile, we see a very cute panel of Akiho talking to Kero, Suppy and still in videocall with Eriol and Kaho!) And then, to follow the leit-motiv of this chapter, very centered on calling back stuff that had already happened in the original world, Touya says that he won't allow anyone to hurt his close ones (they used "family" in ENG, but the word 身内 can indicate also friends and such, the common characteristic is that they're very close). Got the feeling you've already heard these words, especially with the use of the word 身内 ? Yes, of course, it's vaguely the same threat he made to Kaito back in chapter 54, during the double date! 😂 Hmmmm, I have the feeling that if they manage to bring Kaito back (of course they will!), someone will want to have a word or two with him....let's hope he'll just stick to words! 😂 Jokes aside, it's very heartwarming to see how even Touya warmed up to Akiho, and took her under his protective big brother's wing! In fact, Yukito can't just miss the new opportunity to tease him (stop flirting so shamelessly in front of us, Yuki! 😂), telling him he's so overprotective for his sisters!!

The two lovebirds have finished changing their clothes, and we're all left staring at them agape, together with Nakuru: they look stunning, in their complementary outfits!! Sakura even got heels ❤️ And yes, dear readers, as already hinted when Tomoyo was speaking, this is IT, THE costume with THAT sleeve that appeared in Sakura's dream! It is the biggest indication that it's finally time for the last confrontation. Both Sakura and Syaoran look so resolute and ready to make a mess of space and time to bring Kaito back!! 😂 As many have noticed, Sakura got her Dream Staff with her, despite the Clear Cards have disappeared: my theory is that the Key was never removed by the forbidden magic, only the Cards, or maybe that the key came out now that Sakura got her memories back.

And this is where the chapter ends, with another huge cliffhanger!! Will we see Kaito, next time? Being a chapter number ending in -5, and being in the very last volume, I expect big things from it! Chapter 75 will be published on CLAMP's Youtube channel on July 1st, while the relative Nakayoshi magazine will be released on July 3rd (by the way, we'll have Sakura ONCE AGAIN on the cover and ANOTHER Sakura furoku!!). As usual, when I have less translation mistakes to talk about and more space for my feelings towards the chapter, I go overboard! Another freaking long post 😂😂 So I'll just leave you here, as usual I'll wait for your asks in my inbox! Bye Bye!!

#card captor sakura #cardcaptor sakura #clear card arc #ccsakura #ccs spoilers #translation differences #chapter 74 #Sakura Kinomoto #akiho shinomoto #Syaoran Li

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killerskillercaptain · 2 years

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Pillow Talk with Levi Ackerman BOOK I : Kuchel

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Themes : hurt/comfort, canonverse, romance, established relationship, Levi and reader are married, late night conversations, deep conversations, reader wants to know more about the most important people in Levi's life.

Warning: none

WC: 1155

A/N: Hi ya'll, i guess i'm back ? Slowly but surely i'll try to write again.

PILLOW TALK WITH LEVI ACKERMAN BOOKS :

I Kuchel

II Kenny

III Hange

IV Erwin

V Farlan & Isabel

VI Mikasa

VII Eren

Right when your head hit the pillow, you looked at Levi through your locks sprinkled all over you, and asked a question that was burning your lips for the longest time.

"Levi ?"

"Hm"

"Tell me more about Kuchel"

Even if the only source of light present in the room was only a veil of moonlight, you still caught the small sparkle in Levi's eyes. It only lasted for a second before disappearing as fast as it had appeared.

He didn't look at you and kept inspecting the ceiling, his hands knitted together ontop of his chest.

"I don't remember much about her to be honest"

You listened carefully to the words your husband just uttered while hugging your pillow tightly, a habit you always did to comfort yourself.

Neither one of you ever brought this subject to the table. Levi would sometimes mention his mother when relevant to a conversation, which was once in a blue moon truly. He would never go further than saying her name or a quick fact about her, he would never open up to share much about that time. Tonight, strangely enough, your curiosity begged for a little more.

You thought Levi wanted to keep his mother's memories to himself, wanting to seal them away from everyone, including you. This made you feel like you were being denied access to an important part of his life that helped shape his being. Tonight, you understood that this was untrue.

He didn't want to keep his mother a secret from you, he just didn't have enough to tell you about her.

"Was she...kind ?" You asked, tugging at the delicate silk covering your pillow, a bit hesitant to look him in the eyes, since you felt this was a touchy subject.

"I guess she was, i don't recall her being disgraceful or violent towards me. Even when she was at her lowest, she always looked after me."

"I think i would have appreciated her a lot" You whispered to the pillow.

Levi hummed in response. He was never one to talk much, not in all that time spent at the military and not even after you two confessed your feelings to each other and decided to settle down together. Getting him to talk about his feelings was like extracting diamonds out of a mine. Difficult but very rewarding.

"Why do you ask about her now ?"

The question caught you off guard.

You wanted to know what kind of person he grew up next to, when exactly did he raise this wall so high that even you, his wife, could not break through it sometimes.

It wasn't that Levi wasn't open with you, you're probably the only person he opens up to the most and the only person he allows to peek into his vulnerability.

You asking about his mother was completely genuine, you thought that getting him to talk about his mother would somehow get you closer to him and vice versa. You loved Levi so much you always searched for ways to get more entangled with him, be it through his past, the present or both of your futures. You thought digging out this piece that belonged to his past would make him truly yours, as silly as this might sound.

You tried to paint a face, tried to imagine what his mother would have looked like. What Kuchel would have looked like. You imagined her sharing the same thin eyebrows as her only son, the same delicate features adorning her face. You guessed he inherited his dark hair from her, imagining her brushing her long black locks.

For some reason, you imagined her doing that alone, in the corner of a gloomy bedroom is some abandoned brothel. Your heart scrunched at the thought. Levi being brought to life in such an environment made you sad, resentful, even.

He deserved better.

What did his father look like ? Did he get his short stature from him ? His uncle Kenny was tall, so maybe Kuchel was too. Was his father nothing more than a “client” to his mother ? Is that all he was ? A fleeting person that appeared out of nowhere and left behind him the most valuable human being inside the walls ?

For a second, you felt hatred and disgust for his progenitor. You hugged your pillow even harder, refraining to share that feeling with Levi.

Your mind even wondered to the night (or day) Levi was conceived in before you forced your mind to go back to more proper thoughts.

This man, so strong and respectable, had an inexplicably hard life. Sometimes you were in pure admiration of how he got himself out of the gutter. This man could have gone so wrong but somehow decided not to.

You wondered If Kuchel was still alive, how your life would have been different. Would you and Levi go visit her at her home, somewhere peaceful, maybe in the countryside ? Would she make you tea knowing how much her son loves it ? She'd have a special way of brewing it, just the way Levi likes it, the only way Levi likes it. She'd give you the secret to preparing the beverage because she'd want you to make your husband happy and because she apprciates you too.

For a moment, you could almost smell the scent of Kuchel's tea, feel the kitchen's air being filled with the sound of the tea brewing, you could smell the perfume in her hair as she turned around to fill your cup, of her dress's fabric…

You felt the weight of the mattress shift next to you, almost tearing you out of your reverie. Levi just got closer, his scent suddenly more present, you couldn't help taking it all in. Man, you loved him so much.

All those years spent together as comrades, high ranked commanders and then finally, spouses, had made you unbearably attached to the man, but more on a spiritual level. You two survived every catastrophe that was thrown your way during your service in the military, before and even after everything collapsed, this had to be a miracle.

He held you closer to him, and you took in the scent of his fabric.

"I just want to know more about you" You said softly

"I think it's better to leave the past where it is" He said before pausing.

He seemed to pounder for a moment, as if trying to find the right way to end the conversation and never have you ask about her again.

"My mother was a good woman. I loved her dearly"

You tightened your hold on him, those words moved you in ways you wouldn't be able to describe.

"I love you Levi" you said before starting to doze off slowly, peaceful with Levi's modest confession.

Asleep, you didn't feel Levi's fingers brushing your locks aside to whisper to your temple.

"Kuchel would have loved you too".

#levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi fic #levi fanfiction #levi x you #levi ackerman reader insert #snk fic #aot fic #shingeki no kyojin fanfic #attack on titan fanfic #aot #attack on titan #kuchel fluff #kuchel ackerman #fluff

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soleilandpeaches · 1 year

Text

Hawks Astrology Headcanons II

featuring: Hawks/Keigo Takami warning: this is purely entertainment purposes. You may have a different opinion but this is mine, thank you. Each placements description might not also be 100% accurate so take everything I say with a grain of salt lol. Rated: 16+ (brief mentions of sex and relationships although not explicit) A/N: Hopefully you will notice and appreciate how organized this one is compared to the previous lol. pt. I | pt. III

Tropical

Mercury in Sagittarius:

Sagittarius-ruled by Mercury people constantly learn new things in life. They are interested in life's meaning and think there must be more to it than what the naked eye can perceive. Keigo has a strong desire to travel because there is so much to learn and experience. Like no one else, he is greatly inspired by adventures, both physical and cerebral.

Mercury is thought to be vivacious, energetic, inquisitive, and intellectual in this aspect. He is warm and energetic, which frequently accounts for his popularity.

Aries Degree: keen intellect, quick-witted, inventive, acute, ironic, sarcastic, observant, intelligent, alert, argumentative, rash, afflictive, restless, exaggerated

Venus in Scorpio:

Scorpio is a particularly intense sign for Venus. This Venus sign desires love and union with the person they are dating. They are extremely devoted and loving, but they have trouble dealing with loss. They could be too possessive for their spouse to manage depending on their level of maturity.

Keigo is skilled at determining the genuine intentions of others since he has strong emotional intelligence and a wide range of emotions. Keigo is a person who is difficult to fool and cannot be easily outsmarted.

He is highly selective about who he confides in because it is difficult to win his trust. Given his upbringing, it is understandable that he struggles with trust and has a deep-seated fear of betrayal. He seeks emotional and romantic self-control. To decide whether someone is a deserving of member of his inner circle, he thoroughly evaluates them.

Taurus Degree: steadfast, romantic, attached, kind, pleasant, faithful, good manners and etiquette, respectful, jealous, possessive, spendthrift, sometimes lazy, generous, protective

Mars in Aquarius:

Those with Mars in Aquarius are intellectual individuals who value independence above anything else. Since they have an original and creative way of thinking, Mars Aquarians can come to the rescue when others are at a loss for ideas.

Keigo is unpredictable and flexible. He actually believes that there is always space for improvement and that nothing lasts forever. Because he is the most successful, he places a high value on the people in his life.

Being with others who share his viewpoints gives him more influence and self-confidence. He is happier and more content when his ideas are accepted and put into action. Keigo finds it challenging to relate to people who don't live their lives in the same way that he does.

Aries Degree: energetic, willpower, courageous, dauntless, positive, enthusiastic, non-conformist, restless, impatient, choleric, violent, adventurous, imprudent

Sidereal

Mercury in Scorpio:

People born with Mercury in Scorpio are surrounded by mystery. Scorpio is a fixed water sign, full of emotions, passion and ambition. I believe Keigo is very mysterious by nature. We see he can play his role as a spy and detective extrodinarily well. He has a curious, inquisitive mind that questions everything around him.

Mercury in Scorpio gives personality and rhetoric that can sometimes seem harsh, honest and aggressive. But Mercury also gives Keigo logical thinking, and while Moon in Scorpio gives unbridled passion, Mercury in Scorpio gives reason and rationality, allowing Keigo’s decisions to be driven by logic rather than by emotion. However, he can oftentimes act impulsively, which he later regrets. Keigo has a burning desire to discover the hidden truths and mysteries of life. Everything he says or writes has a deeper meaning and is often insightful. He tends to use sharp language to express his thoughts. He is very determined when it comes to making intellectual connections and he has a high opinion of himself.

29th Degree: talks too much yet too little, workaholic, strains over every little decision

Venus in Scorpio:

The fixed water sign of Scorpio is ruled by Mars and has a neutral relationship with Venus. Scorpio is a sign of passion and sensuality, and Venus, the planet of love, rules this sign. Venus increases the inhabitants' desire for sex, romance, sensuality, and love when she is in Scorpio. Mars also exhibits violence in romantic relationships, and Keigo is sure he can get what he wants. He is capable of enduring love and loyalty, but when insulted, he stings like a scorpion and feels no remorse for those who betrayed him.

Keigo is typically seen as being very direct and decisive. He has a good sense of what he wants from life. Yet, he tends to be very private about his feelings for the people he loves. He is amorous, yet he can also be very possessive and jealous at times. He is not someone to play around with; he demands genuine commitment from his partners. He has a tendency to be overly domineering and demanding. He can occasionally come out as argumentative.

Aries Degree: warm, sympathetic, exaggerated, extreme, impulsive, hasty, passionate, prodigal, whimsical, adventurous, romantic, striking zeal for romance, romantically energetic and impatient, upfront, honest, enthusiastic, sensual, excessive sexual feelings and attraction, attractive

Mars in Capricorn:

Mars is exalted in Capricorn, a sign that Mars opposes and that is ruled by Saturn. Mars has unrestrained vitality, and Saturn creates challenges. Therefore, those who have Mars in Capricorn struggle to focus their energies in the right directions. Keigo has a sturdy, passive, and hostile personality. He typically maintains a public façade and is reticent, especially in public.

His intellect and physical strength is pretty impressive, yet he lacks the emotions necessary to create relationships and spark life. His perseverance and tenacity won't yield results right now. Despite his difficulties with emotional connection and expression, he excels in his professional life. He is frequently motivated by those in authority above him and prefers to assist others over starting his own companies. Unfortunately, the crucial virtue of emotional satisfaction is completely denied by this placement.

29th Degree: worries too much over possible plans of action and alternative paths to take. Then proceeds to take spontaneous actions against those decisions.

Planets in The Houses

Mercury in First House:

Mercury in the First House brings a person's communication skills into the world, enhancing them artistically, elevating their philosophy, and allowing them to think on a higher level. It inspires others to get out and try new things.

Mercury endows Keigo with an artistic spirit, making him a philosopher and oriented towards a higher level of thinking. Mercury can help anyone understand themselves better. However, despite his intelligence, he can become restless and jump from one thing to another. He can sometimes struggle to focus on one goal at a time.

Venus in Twelfth House:

The Twelfth House is the house of the subconscious mind, dreams, intuition, instinct, expenditure, and secrets. Venus in the twelfth house gives the native boundless creative ability and also makes them very frivolous. Venus in this house enacts charisma, great desires and the control to make those desires come true and live a life of luxury.

Venus within the Twelfth House gives Keigo great artistic energy, which he uses to gain his popularity within the art of heroism. He has tremendous wants and aspirations that push him past the limits. This position will moreover grant him to fantasize of his sexuality; he has a vivid picture of what he wants in a partner and will have endless desires. However, his reality doesn't always match his fantasy, so he may struggle to find fulfillment in a relationship. He can be neglectful and questionable in matters of love and companionship.

On the other hand, Venus gifts Keigo with a tender and compassionate heart. Venus in the Twelfth House gives the greatest pleasure and satisfaction in bed through intimacy and sex. His partner will be kindhearted and supportive, which will bring him jubilation and good fortune.

However extroverted, Keigo relishes in his alone time and solitary work. Through putting in the hard work and taking risks, this position will grant him with many advantages during adulthood. He enjoys fine wine and women, and appreciates fun parties, travel, lavish spending, and a royalty life.

Venus in the Twelfth House is also the most ideal position for accumulating wealth because he will maintain a balance between expenses and income. Keigo's diligence and wisdom will enable him to defend his rights and repel his enemies. The Twelfth House, where Venus' natural and vicariously rules, is where she is most content and happiest. His success in his profession and business increases dramatically as a result of this placement.

Mars in Third House:

Mars in the third house makes natives aggressive, gives a ton of energy to study a variety of topics and multitask, compel a person to engage in romantic relationships, and requires them to spend a lot of time and energy engaging in sexual activities. These indviduals enjoy travel and adventure because of the positive Mars in their third house.

The ability to work hard and earn money is given to Keigo by his attitudes, but communication allows him to express himself in a sharp and startling way that is beneficial to any cause or vocation.

The third house is concerned with a person's unconscious thought patterns, mind, ability to learn and plan, short journeys, writing, and study. Mars encourages inner vulnerability and wildness when it is in this house, which leads to internal turbulence and disruption of his thoughts and happiness. Because Mars is a fast-moving planet, it can cause rash decisions that can cause issues.

It is also the home of sexual desire, and having Mars in this house can make Keigo act in ways that are not considered acceptable by society. Despite his occupation, he would spend a lot of time and effort engaging in sexual activity and developing romatic relationships. He doesn't mind violating the rules and going above and beyond to fulfill his ambitions because the Third House infuses his belief system with a high level of drive.

Because Mars is strong, Keigo is lucky, strong, and attractive. Mars will have mechanical knowledge and courage, help him vanquish his adversaries, and make him an expert in any field if it aligns with the Sun and the Moon. However, it can also leave him feeling ashamed and guilty.

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artfightdramaconfessions · 7 months

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So, this year I did my first Art Fight; I had joined in 2021 but kept myself as a spectator to observe it and see what the rules would be like, how things are done, the general etiquette of it - and I think, being involved in the fight is very different from watching it.. Wholesome, sweet and kind on the outside; very distant, lazy and disorganized on the inside.

Personally, however, I had a wonderful time! I think I pumped out loads of art and I am proud of what I did for others; high-quality, fully-rendered, respect being given to character features and everything being on-model. I drew exactly 80 pieces, majority of them being waist or fullbody, and only about 5 simple-shaped characters and 3 mass attacks. It was heartwarming to see much of it later being posted on Toyhouses, in the character's reference pages, and elsewhere. All around, I was satisfied in what I was able to provide and enjoyed drawing characters I wouldn't personally design, like drawing really cute girls and ferals when I usually lean to monsters and men! I found unique designs, novices and beginners, all sorts.

And while I got a quarter of defenses in return which I absolutely cherish and some sweet comments on a majority of my pieces, I saw how others have complained about not being given responses for work that they've poured hours into... That made me wonder if that's just.. Generally the mentality of artists now; either too introverted to show appreciation to fellow artists in spite of us collectively knowing how challenging it can be to make art, or just joining to farm and then acting too tired or busy to actually participate. - And then the other half almost kill themselves and psychologically drain themselves in the parasocial cycle that Art Fight has to offer in its "trading environment". Sure I could be classified in the latter group too, but I still practiced self-care and got shit done compared to the burnout horror stories I see. It's quite a wild contrast to observe, and leads to psychological turmoil on both sides when one only gives and the other only takes.

There's also the case of people joining the fight and not contributing at all; just picking a side, dropping some characters, (sometimes a broken promise) and then disappearing. I do not want to hear the "they have real lives off the internet, they were busy" excuse, either - I too have a life: I am a teacher during the week /and/ I have a weekend job. When it is summer holidays for the Northerners, I am down in the Southern hemisphere, dealing with the winter, working and freezing my hands up to the point I don't want to create art sometimes when I get home - but I was still perfectly diligent and on top of things.. But hey, maybe I'm built different, and some people are simply just lazy and want rewards without the effort, or quickly assume they deserve more than what they should.

On the bright side, I'm glad I didn't deal with anyone hostile or disrespectful, and I only encountered two genuine art farmers who pretended they didn't know how to draw or "weren't skilled". Always the same excuses, at some point we have to stop giving them the benefit of the doubt so often; As gatekeepy as it is, I'd imagine a game for artists should be reserved for artists, it's not like an unfit marine biologist would want to participate in the Olympics, let alone be allowed to, so why should people who otherwise hate drawing or don't want to learn the skill and deliberately say such things want to join? In a sense it feels like a mockery towards art and the exchange of creativity in general, and I've been on porn sites that check the quality of your art before they post it better than this! There should be at least an entry requirement for signing up for Art Fight where you send in an artwork before the mods verify your account; there would be a fuckload less farmers, for certain.

I'm hoping that maybe, just because it was my first Art Fight, that /maybe/ this high-attack low-defense ratio of mine is to be expected, and if I just manage to spread my art to even further crowds and find new people to attack, I'll find others who will like my designs and be eager to draw them with the same level of eagerness I had to draw theirs. All that matters to me is if I find people who /want/ to draw my characters, not feel obliged to, in the same way I was never obliged to draw that pink, ridiculously-well-endowed Succubus or stocky, angry little Pokemon - but I did it anyway! I simply enjoyed the spontaneity and diversity of character design and unfamiliar fandoms. In the end, after all I've said, it doesn't matter how much art you get in return, it's about how proud you feel about what you contributed to the fight, and what you learned and discovered in the fun little world of character design.

I don't feel discouraged to draw less next year, I'm going to simply relent, but I can see why other artists hang their heads after their first time when they encounter hostility, are ignored, or don't get what they want out of it.

I think these are some things that I would want to improve if I could:

The ratio should calculate points, that will really incentivize people into prioritizing quality over quantity with their attacks. If you want to see how many attacks VS defenses someone has, just go and check on their front page (if you want it to specifically see how many attacks and defenses they had in one year specifically, they should add a sorting filter for that). The only "downside" I can imagine is an increase in mass-attacks, a joy for some but not for others.

After July, I think that we should still be able to submit Revenge-Only attacks during August - and to not have revenge chains be exploited, only be able to post a revenge once on a Level 1.. Level. I see a lot of people seeming guilty for not being able to attack back within the month or being a minute too late to submit a revenge, and then also just being too shy to submit the attack off-site / not being able to do it offsite / not thinking it's worth it without getting points / etc. - and easy resolve would be to allow revenges to still be posted during August, and Moderators can calculate the event scores and winners in September; trying to cram all of the admin into 12 days is insanity and I am speaking from a perspective that deals with a painful amount of admin. Also, get a fucking search bar that's accessible for everyone, holy Hell.

I'm.. Not sure if my tangent was in good spirits or not, it's rather just thoughts that have been rolling around in my head while I've been reflecting on my experience. Hope everyone else had a good Art Fight and reached their goals, or met and made some friends through it. :)

#art fight #artfight #artfight2023 #submission

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josephtrohman · 19 days

Note

sorry if you’ve been asked this before, would you be willing to spare some joetrick fic recs? i’m getting super back into them and the bandom so wanted to jump back in with some recs maybe!! (do you still prefer top joe? do you have any toppy patrick? if thats not your bag i don’t mind i’ll honesty take anything you think is well written atp 😁 ty!!!)

i’m sorry it’s taken me a couple days to answer this anon!!! finals got me both tweaking and sleep deprived at the same time somehow. also tho let it be known there is nothing to be sorry for at allllll omg, and there Never is, imagine my inbox as a safe warm place where i’m always here for ANYTHING. anyways, i have answered some joetrick fic recs earlier, here is the link to that post which has my crème de la crème joetrick fics, but i always have more in my back pocket!!! start with that other post’s list tho first for sure!!!! just bc they are THEE BEST. ok gonna put the rest under a break here (including my answers to ur question LOLL) :3

i truthfully have mellowed out when it comes to top/bottom preferences lol (i wonder if ur an og follower and saw my ask from like 2016 that i may have answered more intensely about preferring top joe and oh god the 'bottom patrick network' i was in way back when networks were a thing HDKDJDKDJSJ). i actually really enjoy top patrick/bottom joe in this day and age but there is like. none still. so i dont have much to offer u 💔 but im working on something and so is a fobtwt friend of mine so keep ur eyes peeled!!!

i combed my archive and found u my (very) slim pickings for toppy patrick. which imo is a disgrace and i Have contributed to this pattern of mostly bottom patrick w my fics BUT i hope to change this fact as i have a wip that’s just pwp top patrick/bottom joe maybe coming in the next several months LOLLLL (also my fobtwt friend as i mentioned). but i’ll start with the closest things i can find. i’m gonna break it down with the kind of adjacent to ur request fics First and then give a few more recs after :)

an exploration of the bounds of venus by disloyalorder. this might be the only top patrick pure joetrick smut on ao3 (that i found well-written enough to save at least <3). it’s got a heavy dose of mommy kink/mommy dom stuff so i guess if that’s not ur thing then u really will have to stay tuned for my fic ;) haha

wasted summer by terriblewritings. shoutout to the author for dropping it in my inbox!!! it has the mommy kink too and a liiiiiiittle talk of weight just in an appreciative way idk but a warning; it’s toppy patrick in the sense of dom patrick bc there’s no penetration, but it’s rly good!!! author says there might be more coming too ;3

token by gigantic. this one i found on total accident, i had been digging around on this user’s livejournal because they have two PHENOMENAL wentzman fics up (if u want those recs too lmk) but basically this one is joe on a gay sex mission lol, it is explicit but ofc when u get to the goods (aka the JOETRICK SCENE) it's all fade-to-black instead 💔 but still SOOOOO good so unbelievably well written!!!

i had it listed it in the other rec ask, but bdsm by heyginger has a brief mention of joe riding patrick (not explicit smut tho lol) AND of patrick tying joe up so it feels on the toppy patrick side for sure :)

also for good measure, though patrick is not toppy to JOE in these ones, there are two jeterick fics that feature patrick topping pete while joe does stuff to them etc just maybe to scratch a similar itch? lay your head down -- and feel the beat and two's company, three's just right both by likeasugarcube.

begging all ao3 writers to PLEASEEE write more top patrick/bottom joe joetrick fics i want to read joe get fucked like he deserves <3 ok anyways

and now here r some general recs that aren’t toppy patrick related :)

my tongue is my choir by coricomille. patrick is mute (mixon is their vocalist) and it’s a wonderfully written, very sweet fic!!!

capture the phrases by rosiedoes fic. patrick has a secret admirer in the form of anonymous post it notes. so good<3

expensive mistakes by rosiedoesfic. cute little fic about the insta posts in mania era that had very joetricky captions :')

the cure to growing older by rosiedoesfic. a au fic where joe and patrick have been friends since they were little kids, a very cute growing up together type story :)

message in a bottle by bunnytrohman. a sweet lil getting together fic sent during 2ourdust. saur beautiful and the world needs more fics set in the stardust era imo!!!

take a breath (i know what's behind that door) by thesecondshow. joe checks in on/takes care of patrick right after the we liked you better fat post. really really beautifully written <3 (hai mitch if u see this)

your secret's out by the_seventh_avenger. cute lil fic, honestly hard to summarize with a lil blurb without giving everything away but love it so much!!

alpha dog by bunnytrohman. puppy play joetrick. i needn’t say more READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

leaving it there bc looking at my bookmark list there aren't like a TON more that i even really could rec so i'll save those for if someone else asks in another 10 months <3 lol love u anon my inbox (and dms!!! if u wanna reveal urself but no pressure) is always open to discuss these fics or ANYTHING too 💖

#anonymous #asks #fic recs

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autisticempathydaemon · 1 year

Note

Hello hello, thank you for doing these match ups for us! Never done one of these before so I'm excited to see who I'll end up with. 💕

- What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

Great Wide Unknown by Pealeaf. Technically, I love the lyrics in their entirety but especially this: 'There are things we'll never know

Wish I could find a way to live like this forever

But there's a burning in my soul

And these days, it burns brighter than ever'.

As well as

'These stars were never mine to chase

I'll chase them anyway

Take me to a land far away

This path was never mine to take

Was my fate set in stone

Or just one thread in the great wide unknown'

Because after years of not getting anywhere in my life, I'm finally moving forward.

- Enneagram/Mbti:

The Loyalist, INFJ-T

- Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

Does currently watching Hardcore Singular Type Pokemon Nuzlockes count? If not, then I enjoy essay videos on revitalizing abandoned landscapes.

- What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Laying on my side. Sometimes, I put on a yt video.

- If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why?

If I had to, I'd choose Inga, cause that's what my mom would have named me (it was dad's turn for me :p ) and I think it's a cute name.

- What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

Torn between 'caught stealing your alpha werewolf boyfriend's hoodie' and 'your yandere friend wants to be closer to you'. For the former, I love the sweet vulnerability and the casual touches, the relaxation and bone deep love. For the latter, the way Blake helps the listener fall asleep works so well for me, him humming softly at the end... and I love manipulative/gaslighting characters. :')

- What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for.

Eeeh. Aaron, I suppose?

- Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

Lord of the Rings (Movie Edition). Especially Return of the King.

- Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Asher. Sorry, David, I hope you can share. Or Huxley. He's the actual sweetest dude who deserves the world and then some.

- Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it?

No, I just get grumpy when I'm tired.

- Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

Eeh. Salty Pringles and a cola/orange fanta combo drink.

- Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

Freelancer season 1 and Fallen Empathy Daemon. Yes, I am unable to decide once more. Outside of that, my Favorite Video Game Music playlist featuring mostly calm bgms and the occasional boss theme.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Any type of dating game with yandere characters. I like the psychological horror aspects as well as the devotion. Is that kind of relationship toxic irl? Hell yeah it is. Do I still love games about the topic? You bet I do. Also, farming simulator games like Stardew Valley or Rune Factory.

Anything else?

Perfectionist (but slowly letting go of that), late-bloomer, creative. Whenever I have a moment, I get lost in my head, thinking up scenarios or plot for a new fanfic I'll never write. A cuddlebug but I feel more comfortable initiating and I prefer it if people ask before they touch me. I work with kids and I genuinely love my job despite the mental and physical exhaustion. I've got a very dry sense of humor and I actually love silly puns and humor.

Hope you have a good day!! ♥️

I know Fred and Bright, like, aren’t actual children (I imagine them as no older than twenty but still), but they’re basically Sam’s kids, and I just think he would more than appreciate a partner who likes kids and wouldn’t mind dating a single dad /hj

Something I think works well between Sixes and Eights (which is what I strongly hc Sam to be) is that both of you can be so… I don’t want to say guarded but careful with trust and intimacy. That shit has to be earned, and when you do get to know one another, you’ll learn how well-matched you are. Sixes are fueled by the desire to have security and stability, and Eights are fueled by the desire to lead and protect. Fundamentally, you are uniquely situated to be everything the other needs.

I also think Sam would be the perfect cuddle partner for you. Ever since that second video where he politely asks permission to lay hands, even in an emergency, we’ve known for sure he’s so careful about consent and boundaries. I can easily imagine the two of you settling down for a LOTR movie and him waiting with open arms for you to reach out at your pace and comfort level. (Gosh, wouldn’t that be so cute, you showing him the trilogy for the first time and excitedly telling him about how Viggo Mortenson broke his ankle?)

Song:

But here's a map, here's a shovel/ Here's my Achilles' heel/ I'm all in, palms out/ I'm at your mercy now and I'm ready to begin/ I am strong, I am strong, I am strong enough to let you in

Thank the lord for you, I have been waiting for someone I can match with Sam because this is my Sam song; I think of him every time I hear it. In my head, this is his internal monologue as he confesses. He’s lived such a long life of being hurt and protecting himself from more; trusting you enough to let you in, to not hurt him more, to acknowledge that risk is the greatest act of love of which he is capable.

Runner-Ups:

Milo’s a really cute possibility, because Sweetheart also strikes me as a recovering perfectionist, so I think he’d be a really supportive partner in that respect. “Who’s expectin ya to do all of that? It certainly ain’t me and damn sure shouldn’t be you.” is something I can hear him saying in his voice, if that makes sense. Also, I see your love of yanderes, hence Flyboi!Ivan. I ain’t pairing you with someone who got all them tendencies, because I love you, but we can have a little of that, the potential of the crazy as a treat /affectionate

Note: unrelated but bruh how you feelin after that Balance season finale because wowee Blake

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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fishfingersandjellybabies · 5 months

Note

Hey.. hope you've been doing ok. Or atleast, like. Better

Hopefully this question can distract you a bit (you can just completely ignore its all good fam 👍)

1. Whats the world building for crown build in rose thorns? Are there only magical and none magical people or are there hybrids of any kind?

2. See that you write a lot of damian so this is just based on assumption, but what made you love his character? (Mine was that i absolutely fell in love with how hilarious this snarky boi was, like no one was safe from him it was great. And then i love how complex he is as a character -like damn this boi is tragic-)

Take as long as a break as you need, the fact that your still in AND writing in this fandom is incredible and a blessing. Thanks for still sticking around :]

I'm doing okay. I've backed away from the ledge, so they say. Also just trying to kind of back off the internet for a while. Touch grass, you know? 😂 Been trying to get back into reading books, back into video games and just bought myself a new puzzle today! But thank you so much, I appreciate you caring and checking in 💙

As for Crowns, I wouldn't say there's much in the way of like...magical creature? So mostly just humans and humans who have powers etc. No hybrids like minotaurs or anything. But at the same time, I don't think anyone would be surprised by a troll or goblin or the like popping into the Kingdom of Gotham, you know? So...yeah, they're there I guess but I probably won't write about them/include them. Maybe if/when Ra's appears we'll have people with more demonic-like features etc?

I really love Damian because I probably relate to him the most? I relate to never being good enough, I relate to being literally verbally told I'm not good enough/my sibling or friend is better than me in every way/I'm the angry/dark sibling. I relate to being accidentally overly aggressive. And I also relate to just wanting my loved ones to okay and safe, and would give them anything, I relate to wanting to be loved but not knowing how to get it/assume I don't deserve it. And I relate to being a bit of a loner without really meaning/wanting to. Because everyone leaves you in the end, right? That kinda mentality.

I also relate to loving animals and Dick Grayson so. Twinsies 😂

I love him because I GET him, you know? I get those struggles. I've had a lot of those struggles. So basically, a lot of the time when I'm writing Damian, specifically the really emotionally-charged stories, I'm just writing about myself, and trying to use it as a way to not bottle it all up inside.

uh oh I got too deep now i gotta run away and hide 🙃😂😅

#replies #crowns au #asks #anon

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silverwings22 · 2 years

Text

Caught in the Crosshairs: Chapter Two Monsters: Katie Sky

Series warnings: Smut, mind control, canon typical violence, childhood trauma, language, chronic illness

Chapter warnings: chronic illness, Crosshair's grumpiness deserves its own warning.

Previous chapter:

Next Chapter:

22 BBY

"You know I feel this is unwise, padawan mine."

Miria smiled fondly at her much-beloved master. "A padawan no longer, you know. I've been a knight for five years."

She was right, he knew. The woman in front of him was no child any longer. She was 26, with her hair falling down just past her shoulders instead of a padawan braid. He'd cut it himself when she passed her trials right here on Coruscant… a fitting ordeal for the girl who'd been most happy among the crechelings, she'd been called to try to reach a youngling who'd been impossible for even Crechemaster Yaddle to handle. A three day standoff with the tiny terror who nearly bit off fingers in his tantrums ended in her sitting on the floor rocking him to sleep. She was as capable as she was kind.

But it was in Plo Koon's nature to fuss gently. "Still, there's no need for you to endanger yourself so. There are plenty of Jedi to lead this war. Stay, the creche would benefit from your work."

"The Council will decide my fate. But the Force guides me to make a request, so I must." She said firmly. "I was on Geonosis, right beside you. I know what these Separatists will do if not stopped. There would be no creche to tend if they had their way."

Plo Koon sighed. A war, a terrible and heartrending war had taken hold of the galaxy. She was right… "I do hate it when you're wise. You were such an easy to manage child."

She laughed, a warm and slight husky sound laced with scars from a throat that never truly healed, even twenty years later. "Just let me ask, master. I promise to abide by the decision. I'm not Anakin Skywalker."

"Are we discussing my padawan?" Chuckled a voice behind her.

"Master Kenobi. Good to see you." Miria chuckled. She quite admired the youngest council member. "I'm only here to make a request. And isn't your padawan due to take his own trials when he returns from escorting the Nabooian Senator home? "

"I see you're all caught up on Temple gossip." Obi-wan chuckled, running a hand through his longish ginger hair. He was a good man, and a logical one.

Miria had hope that it'd work out in her favor.

"If you are determined to do this, the meeting is about to begin." Plo finally sighed.

Miria nodded and followed the two masters into the council room. Ki-Adi Mundi and Kit Fisto were already seated and chatting with Yoda, and she gave a polite bow as the other members filed in.

"On your mind, something is. What troubles you, young Halcyon? " Yoda chuckled fondly.

Miri straightened up, folding her arms behind her back. She cut a striking figure here, clad in a simple cream colored dress with wide elbow-length sleeves and a hem that reached her knees, with brown breeches tucked into polished brown boots and a simple leather belt sporting her sleek silver hilted saber. Her black hair, cut through with a streak of white, framed a soft featured face with bright lavender eyes. "I have not received my marching orders, Masters. Where shall I serve in the war?"

Mundi and Windu exchanged glances. "With your… condition… We thought it best to exclude you from service as a general, Knight Halcyon. It is my understanding that you wish to become crechemaster with time, anyway." Obi-wan Kenobi said diplomatically.

"I appreciate the council's consideration to my career. But I am not helpless, nor an invalid." She didn't flinch, choosing to lock eyes with him. "I would like to request reconsideration on the matter."

Yoda eyed her thoughtfully. "Ill you are, young one. Require treatment you have, all your life. Dangerous it would be to send you to battle."

"I have no right to do any less than every other knight. If I am unfit for prolonged battle, please allow me to serve in a smaller and more mobile unit. It is my duty as a knight of the Republic to protect democracy. I can return to Coruscant when my health demands it. But I wish to serve."

Windu leaned forward, elbows on his knees and chin in his hands. "What prompts this?"

Miria met his eyes without question. His were dark, brave eyes that bespoke wisdom through struggle. "I know the course war will run. We are not infinitely numerous. As the war progresses, Jedi will die. But the need for them will not. Padawans not ready for the Trial will be knighted and sent to command. And they will die. If I can spare even one young life, I will have done a great service. Please grant me a chance."

In his chair, Plo looked defeated. This was bravery and strength, the hallmarks of the Order. The council would never deny a request made this way…

Sick as she is…

Every eye turned to Yoda. He smiled fondly. "A clever girl, you are. And sincere. From Kamino I have just returned. A unit for you, I think I know. But no easy task is this. What they lack in numbers, ferocity they have."

"I can handle the creche bedtime routine. I will approach with the same mindset." She smiled a little. "How many will be under my command?"

"Four clones."

Miria nodded with a smile. "Then we'll be the best five soldiers we can."

"I don't see why we need a Jedi General. We're a special commando unit. That's too much direct supervision, it'll slow us down." Crosshair fiddled with his toothpick.

"Maybe you'll finally listen to someone." His brother, Hunter, huffed. "You sure don't listen to me, and I'm the sergeant."

"You think he'll let me keep blowing stuff up?" Wrecker murmured a little anxiously.

"My study into the Jedi order does not show anything about a proclivity for pyrotechnics." Tech shrugged.

The four were waiting on the dock outside their ship, a heavily modified Omicron class. And Tech was just getting started.

"Great. Five guys in a ship built for four." Crosshair griped. "As if the quarters weren't close enough-"

"Good morning. You must be Clone Force 99." His complaining was interrupted by a voice. A female voice.

Crosshair turned around from where he'd been sitting on the ship's gangplank and took stock.

She was willowy, he noted. Petite and delicate looking, with black hair marred with a streak of white that framed the left side of her heart shaped face. She was dressed like most Jedi, in cream and brown, though he spotted arm braces and a chest plate painted with a fresh Republic insignia peeking under the oversized cloak. She wore blood red lipstick in the style of Naboo, with the full top lip painted and only the middle of the bottom one. Still, they were full and inviting lips, curved into a smile below the softest eyes in an amethyst shade. "Good morning, gentlemen."

Crosshair got up to join his brothers in a salute. "Jedi." Hunter said smartly. "Are you here to take us to our new general? "

The girl chuckled. "My name is Jedi Knight Miria Halcyon. I am your new general."

Crosshair couldn't stop his sarcastic mouth. "You?"

"I assure you I am more than capable." She didn't seem offended by his surprise. "Now, I've given my name. Would you mind giving yours?"

Hunter started. "I'm CT-"

"No no no. Your names. You're people, not numbers. And there's five of us. I'm sure I can remember." She chuckled.

Wrecker grinned. "I like you already."

Hunter smiled. "Permission to speak freely?"

"Of course." She adjusted her bag on her hip.

"You're nothing at all like what we were expecting, ma'am."

"I'll take that as a good thing. Now, your names?"

"I'm Hunter. I'm the sergeant."

Miria extended her hand to shake his. He noted scarring at the tips of her fingers, like she'd ripped them open at some point. The scars seemed old, though. "Lovely to meet you, Hunter." Her eyes traced his features, from the serious expression to his long hair and tattoo across the side of his face. He didn't really look like a clone, but certainly could pass for a relation to their progenitor.

"I'm Wrecker. I like to blow stuff up." The largest member of the team grinned, dwarfing her hand in his and nearly knocking her off her feet with the strength of his handshake. His features, Miria thought, reminded her more of the clones she'd met, though stronger and a little more tragic with a clearly blinded eye and spider web of scarring across his face. He seemed eager to please as a puppy though, despite his size.

"I'm sure we'll find an opportunity to put that to good use." she chuckled.

Tech took a step over and shook her hand, adjusting his goggles with his free one. "My name is Tech. I am the unit’s technology specialist."

"Wonderful. I look forward to hearing your ideas." She smiled, cocking her head. He had a narrower face and almost reddish- brown hair instead of the black she'd seen before.

Her attention turned to Crosshair, who eyed her cautiously. "Crosshair." He finally murmured, tossing his toothpick carelessly to the side and slowly reaching for her hand. "Sniper."

Her lavender eyes moved over him as she reached back. He couldn't help but wonder what she thought of his silver hair and lean features, all angles and sharp edges.

Miria smiled when his fingers met hers, and he was startled at how… soft… her hand felt even through his gloves. "Crosshair. A fitting name. I can't wait to see you in action." His hand felt warm where she was touching him.

Tech interrupted his thoughts. "The ship is only equipped with four standard bunks, General."

"That's alright. I have a hammock." She patted her bag. "I also brought snacks. I wasn't sure what you boys liked, but I'm determined to find out."

Wrecker grinned. "I think I love you."

Miria laughed, and it made the hair on the back of Crosshair's neck stand on end, but he couldn't decide if he liked it or not. "Aren't you sweet?" She patted his broad back gently.

Tech and Wrecker took the general inside the ship to show her around. It wasn't a particularly large vessel, but she didn't seem to be complaining. Wrecker helped her hand up a hammock in the cargo hold. It wasn't much, but seeing as the men shared a bunk room, it was the most privacy they could offer.

Once she was settled in, they went over a few pre flight checks and Miria double checked supplies, then got off Coruscant for their first mission together.

Miria sat up front with Tech, eyes bright, as they hit hyperspace.

"Not bored yet, General? " Tech raised an eyebrow.

"I haven't seen the stars in a long time. I'm just enjoying the view." She smiled.

Crosshair cursed his exceptional eyesight under his breath. It would have been so easy not to notice the way the ship lights reflected back in her eyes.

"No offense, General, but you're terrible at sabacc." Hunter chuckled. The group was gathered in the hold, sitting or leaning on crates and playing cards.

"I know. This is why I don't gamble." Miria chuckled, wedged between a crate and Wrecker. "I'm much better at dejarik."

Tech's head popped up. "I enjoy dejarik. It's an excellent strategy simulation."

Miria chuckled and showed Wrecker her garbage hand of cards. He made a face. "Maybe we can play sometimes. But it's one on one, and I enjoy time with all of you."

It was the truth. She'd been flying around with them for a month, catching up with various Jedi-led battalions. They hadn't really gotten to see her in action yet, as they usually cleaned up the battlefield while she was trying to get to another Jedi. But she was always pleased to come back to the security of the Havoc Marauder.

Crosshair, seated in a perch on top of the nearest crate, made a disgruntled noise.

Hunter gave him a look before turning back to the game. "So I've been meaning to ask, General. How'd you end up getting assigned to a single unit? Don't you Jedi usually have much larger groups under your command?"

"I'm a…. Special circumstance. And I needed to be more mobile than I would otherwise be with a larger command. " She shrugged and discarded a card into the pile. "I think I like this better anyway. I actually get to know you." She chuckled. "Except Crosshair. He doesn't like talking to me." Her voice was light, teasing enough to make Hunter and Tech chuckle. Wrecker made another face, but was distracted when Miria held up a bag of Honey Butter crisps she'd brought along during their last stop on Coruscant. "Might I ask a question of my own?"

Tech nodded. "If we become uncomfortable, we will alert you."

She smiled and patted Wreckers leg. She knew by now he was the emotional one. "I know you're Clone Force 99, but if I didn't know better I'd never know you guys were clones. I might guess you're brothers, though. So how did this happen?"

Crosshair stiffened, drawing a knee up to his chest. Hunter looked at Tech, who nodded and launched into an explanation. "We are the results of genetic mutations in clone DNA, which gave us abilities the Kaminoans deemed useful in soldiers. Hunter has enhanced senses, Wrecker is exceptionally strong, I am hyper intelligent, and Crosshair has incredible spatial awareness and vision."

Crosshair got up, dropping his cards, and started walking towards the ladder to the bunk room. Miria tuned in immediately to the radiating anger and hurt coming off him. Her hand stretched up towards him. "Crosshair, wait …"

Hunter sighed as the marksman ignored her and went up the ladder. "Don't mind him, General. It's a touchy subject… we're not exactly well received by the regs. It's okay now that we're all together, but when we were cadets we caught a lot of hell for being different. Crosshair probably got the worst of it, because he never could let the comments go. He always had to fight back."

Miria frowned, looking at her hands on the cards in her lap. "I understand." She finally murmured. "Let me talk to him."

"He iis going say something rude." Tech sighed.

"That's alright. I'm his friend tonight, not his general." She set her cards down and went up the ladder after Crosshair.

Hunter flipped her cards over. "Maker, her hand sucked."

Crosshair was moodily laying on his back in his bunk when he heard a light tap on the bunkroom door. "What?"

"It's just me, Crosshair." Miria's voice was muffled, but soft and just a tiny bit raspy. "I brought you some caf…"

Crosshair was a caf addict and he knew it was a bribe, but it sounded awesome right about now. "Fine. Come in."

He did appreciate that she knocked and waited every time she needed to come into their quarters for something. When the door opened, she padded over with the cup of caf held in both hands. She was in her sleep clothes, a loose oversized shirt over leggings, with bare feet. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she looked… cute. And a little pale in the cheeks, but he assumed it was the lack of makeup she normally wore.

"May I join you?" She asked softly.

"Don't see why you'd want to." But he took the offered cup and folded his legs so she could sit on the mattress.

"I like your company." She smiled.

Crosshair buried his nose in his cup. "You'd be the first, besides my brothers…"

"I can't comment on anyone else's lack of good taste. Speaking of which, did the caf turn out okay? I tried to remember how I've seen you make yours, but I don't drink it…"

He raised an eyebrow, considering her for a moment. She'd been watching him… observing minute details for ways to smooth their interactions. He almost felt guilty he hadn't been doing the same. He'd been mostly avoiding any non essential contact. "Before I answer that… who doesn't like caf?"

Miria smiled. "I know, I know. Freak of nature, but I've just never liked it. I can drink my tea so oversteeped it could be reclassified as paint thinner, but I need more than half the cup to be cream before I can stomach caf."

He chuckled faintly. "Well, you made it the same way I always do. Tastes fine to me."

She shot him another smile… this time wide and her eyes squeezed closed over the apples of her cheeks. His chest tightened involuntarily. Wholesome.

He shook his head to erase the thoughts and went back to the caf. "I know you didn't just come here to bring me caf. No one's that nice."

"You're cynical, Crosshair. But unfortunately you're right, I did come to check on you. I brought caf so you'd actually let me in."

"You're the general. You could get in."

She chuckled. "Not like this. When it's just us, I'm your friend. I prefer it that way… I don't have all that many." She admitted the last a little quietly, offering a little vulnerability to the man sitting beside her to encourage him to let his guard down. Crosshair was the proud one. He'd only admit to weakness from a superior position to the person he was talking to.

And Miria was used to giving ground for others.

"Seems like you'd make friends pretty easy. You're persistent." He muttered mildly.

"Most people in the temple don't want to be close with someone who's going through something that makes them uncomfortable." She shrugged. "So they politely avoid me. I almost used to wish they'd say something cruel… it's easier to be angry than process pity."

"Trust me, you don't want that either." He set his cup aside and reached for the box of toothpicks in his footlocker. Once he popped one in his mouth he eyed her curiously. "So what's the matter with you, then? You want to tell me, of all people, and I'm guessing you haven't told the others.'

"I haven't. But… I thought you might understand. You don't seem the type to waste time with pity. I'm very tired of pity."

"I can't stand it. So talk, what's your deal?"

She chuckled faintly. "Something bad happened to me as a youngling, that's caused some…. Lingering issues. That's why I'm on a smaller unit, instead of leading a battalion. I asked to serve, but I have to recognize my limitations. Irritating as they can be."

"That's the first thing I've ever heard you complain about." He snorted. "Normally you're so accommodating it's disgusting."

"I've been hoping to make a good impression." She chuckled.

Crosshair didn't know what made him do it, but he found himself reaching out to tap under her chin with his knuckles and redirect her eyes back on him. "Consider it made. You're not so bad for a Jedi."

She smiled. "And you're not so bad yourself."

"For a mutant?"

She laughed. "For a man." She got up and patted his leg as she did. "Goodnight, Crosshair."

"Night, General." He watched her walk out. Had she really come up here just to… make him feel better?

#eventual smut #explict #original character #crosshair #clone force 99 #chronic illness #caught in the crosshairs

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