#explained to them

[thenixkat]

Still fascinating to me that there's people who truly think their experiences are universal, that because something is popular in the circles they run in means that everyone should know it and will insult and treat people like stupid uncultured swine for even perceived differences in experiences. or if folks disagree with them when they make overly broad generalizations on what 'everyone' knows or thinks.

(b/c it's not like poor people, people from different cultures/subcultures, and people with fundamentally different interests exist.)

Like? That's complete asshat behavior.

#nix meows #fandom fuckery #like i know for a fact that there's people out there who dont know pokemon at all and would not be interested in it if it was shown to/ #explained to them #and not even just old people #also yes this is about blackfilmmakers/afrophunk and their buddy stephanos-spaceopera #and the convo that lead to blackfilmmakers harassing me for daring to make a vent post about being gaslit by fuckers for not agreeing #with them about having to know tolkien b/c according to them all dnd and generic western fantasy settings are tolkien #and the *only* way to avoid antisemitism in fantasy writing is to know tolkien's trope #which is understandably an absurd assertion and the overly broad generalizations they made about other things to try and drive that point #home (regardless of my repeated statements of disinterest) that there was no way that i'd agree with #swinging a bat at a hornet's nest? maybe but the thought has been on my mind #especially given stephanos tried to 'own me' after i pointed out that i have no intrest in trying to convince them to read dungeon meshi #especially since they and blackfilmmakers have a very obvious and really funny bias against it and go out of their way to read every thing #as negatively as possible #by again infering that I'm stupid b/c they decided to interpret 'that term is used differently in this setting' as not knowing #what a dark elf is

[hjartasalt]

One time I was working as a waiter at a burger joint where the fries were tossed in salt and coriander and as I was bringing food over to the table for these two huge beefy guys one of them asks what the green stuff is so I go "it's coriander" and his friend goes very seriously "he can't have coriander" and I'm thinking shit ok maybe he's allergic and guy 1 starts pulling up his sleeve to show me something and I'm thinking shit shit shit he's probably breaking out in hives rn and it's my fault but he just shows me his arm and he has this huge cursive font tattoo that just says "I fucking hate coriander"

#the fries were brought back to the kitchen and he got ones that just had salt on them instead #chef asks me why #uhmm #how do I explain #well he has this tattoo

[starbuck]

i say i like tragedies and everyone’s all like ‘why do you like sad stories? are you depressed?’ and never ‘how was the catharsis? was the catharsis fun?’

#i don’t know how to explain this to normal people 😭😭 #for the record my coworkers didn’t directly question me on this #but i think i have vastly overestimated the amount of the population who is aware of like. Films. #NOT claiming that i have seen a lot - but i’ve mentioned three *REALLY* well-known films in the past four days #and got blank stares each time #the one of them was a REALLY good reference too… someday my top-notch association skills will be recognized #my first act as Mansion Acquaintance of the [redacted] Director will be to force everyone to watch a 40s romcom i didn’t even like #i’m getting off the point #the POINT is that It’s About The Catharsis

[aristoteliancomplacency]

Guys.

Y’all.

I…

I just. I just… i have discovered something. And I have laughed too much. I have laughed every time I have tried to explain it to someone. I cannot get through this.

Look. Okay.

There are two things you need to know, here.

First: There’s a style of Greek pottery that was popular during the Hellenic period, for which most of the surviving examples are from southern Italy. We call them ‘fish plates’ because, well, they’re plates, and they’re decorated with fish (and other marine life).

Like this one, currently in the Met:

Or this one, currently in the Cleveland Museum of Art:

They’re very cool. We’re not 100% sure what they were for, because most of the surviving ones were found as grave goods, but that’s a different post.

The second thing you need to know is that when we (Classics/archaeology/whatever as a discipline) have a collection of artefacts, like vases, sculptures, paintings, etc. and we do not know the name of the artist, but we’re pretty sure one artist made X, Y and Z artefacts, we come up with a name for that artist. There are a whole bunch of things that could be the source for the name, e.g. where we found most of their work (The Dipylon Master) or the potter with whom they worked (the Amasis Painter), a favourite theme (The Athena Painter), the Museum that ended up with the most famous thing they did (The Berlin Painter) or a notable aspect of their style. Like, say, The Eyebrow Painter.

Guess what kind of pottery the Eyebrow Painter made?

#tagamemnon #fischteller #can you fucking imagine? #like other painters trying to explain to him that fish don’t have eyebrows #and he’s just like ‘fuck you all at least my fish have SOULS.’ #and people bought them??? #other people were also like ‘FUCK YEAH EYEBROW FISH!!!’ #other people like me. #I would 100000% buy the eyebrow fish

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#Well It All Started At The Golden Globes

#me explaining this to my family cause I busted out laughing at this whole thing #they win award season for best bits #love them #pedro pascal #kieran culkin #love #the best #emmys #golden globes

[buildoblivionthenwewilltalk]

cosmic horror who my beloved

#I am FEASTING #doctor who #spoilers #wild blue yonder #even if they kind of explain them they’re still very … uncanny #hmmm yes tasty more please

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[sirenetica]

Thought I'd take a crack at the Life Series In Your Style board (courtesy of @/xmaruu11)

Tell me which ones your favorite :)

#grian #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #mumbo jumbo #jimmy solidarity #smallishbeans #scott smajor #impulsesv #skizzleman #tangotek #ethoslab #bdubs #zombiecleo #inthelittlewood #rendog #ldshadowlady #bigbstatz #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #life series #trafficblr #traffic smp #most of these creators i drew for the first time on this sheet #some of them ive drawn for a while #and i think you can tell #I CANT EXPLAIN MY REASONINGS FOR SOME DESIGN CHOICES IN THE TAGS ORZ #if any of these creators ever see this post i will explode thats so embarrassing of me im so sorry you had to see this (packing up my bags)

[enixamyram]

I'm so fascinated with the background posters in Vee tower.

(Didn't include the ones in Val's room. Those ones make me super uncomfortable! XD Plus I do not want "sexy" Val pictures saved onto my computer for even a moment!)

#Hazbin Hotel #The Vees #Vox #Velvette #Valentino #Angel Dust #Edit: the reason for not including Val pics that I put on the post was honestly more of a joke #in the comments it explained it's cause his posters are more self indulgent sexy pics #while these are Vee Ads and the ads are what fascinates me... #Dunno if that helps any of the people disappointed I didn't include them lol XD

[loverboy-lover]

James Potter and Sirius Black

#this is so them i don’t even have to explain #regulus and remus are standing there rolling their eyes #marauders #jegulus #prongsfoot #marauders era #wolfstar #james potter #sirius black #regulus black #starchaser #dead gay wizards

[lilybug-02]

Pain is a great motivator…

Part 26 || First || Previous || Next

—Full Series—

Meanwhile Toriel:

(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)

Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!

#CHARA WTF DO YOU MEAN “COMPUTER”???? #lol i hope you guys dont hate me for what im doing in the next update. #IS THAT A MAC OS??? #Yes......owo'' #Kris and the Gang are LITTLE now. I've pixelated them and turned them into little game characters! #FINALLY!! #I never thought I would be going so far in the story to explain WHY Kris pulls out their SOUL and opens Darkfountains even when they killed #Berdly in Chapter 2. Pain can make people do horrible things. #Uhhhhhhhhh anyways. :3 I hope you liked it! I made this post a little too long for my liking and didnt get it out when i wanted too- #but thats okay! As long as people enjoy it :) #bread #art #deltarune chara timeline #deltarune chara timeline comic #seriously though #long post #man am I glad I switched over to the limited color palet! It helps me feel alot more relaxed uwu #This is....way over 16 hours of work q-q #chara #asriel #susie #kris #asriel dreemurr #kris dreemurr #kris deltarune #susie deltarune #deltarune #comic #my art

[drulalovescas]

Why do this??? Why show us that Dean wanted out?? That Dean thought about quitting hunting. Retiring. That Dean wanted to LIVE. When you intended from the get go to impale him on a rusty rebar. Because "it was always gonna end like this." Because "it was supposed to end like this, right?" Because Dean „HAD TO DIE?????” What do you mean Dean would never stop hunting when you’ve literally showed us he wanted to???? What do you mean Dean wanted to die hunting when he literally said he DIDN'T??

#honestly I wish someone bothered to explain non-maliciously because i don't get what went wrong here #and I'd love to understand #it's been 4 years and I'm still mad about it #and I am a Cas girl #but i just can't forgive them for Dean's ending #supernatural #dean winchester #spn 15x20

[spaceistheplaceart]

mob tells reigen to shut up accidentally... two!!!

abbreviated ID: An mp100 comic. Teru tells Mob "shut up" can be a reply to something funny. and mob later tells reigen to shut up after he tells a joke, shocking reigen. Full ID under cut

[ID: A black and white Mob Psycho 100 comic. Mob smiles and says something marked as “[funny comment]” and Teru laughs hard, clapping Mob on the shoulder and exclaiming, “Oh, shut up, Kageyama!” Mob sweats and says, “Oh, sorry.” Teru, frowning, asks, “Huh? Why?”

Mob says, “You told me to shut up?” and Teru holds up his hands, looking apologetic. He exclaims, “Oh! No, no, no! That means I thought it was funny!” He flusters, smiling weakly and trying to explain. “When someone tells you to shut up and they’re laughing it means it was funny! Like uh... uh... Okay I can’t explain it but you know what I mean.”

Mob looks away and says, “Not really...” He smiles at Teru. “But I'm glad you thought it was funny.” Teru rubs the back of his head and says, “Ahaa yeah! I did!”

The view cuts to Spirits and Such, where Mob is writing at his desk and Reigen is scowling behind his. Arms crossed, Reigen says a “[snide but funny remark]”. Mob gives a “hehe” and smiles, “Good one, master.” The background turns dark gray as the view zooms in on Mob and he, still smiling with big eyes, says, “Shut up!”

Reigen’s mouth parts as his expression goes to blank shock. The background behind him is stark black. End ID]

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #comic #op art #dw he explained it to reigen afterwards and then never used it again #tbh i dont get thr shut up thing either even tho i. use it constantly #also telling my friends i hate them when they say smthn funny #idk how rhat translates lmao but it does

[cherryfull]

Tilly and Harlow artdump since Tiktok liked them so much!! 🎃🦇

#hallowives #halloween #spooky #ocs #witch #vampire #lesbian #wlw #sapphic #butch #femme #butchfemme #original characters #character design #art #im kinda tempted to make sheets explaining more about their characters #like info sheets #so ppl can get a feel for them a bit more!! #halloworld

[densitywell]

spent like an hour trying to find a post abt the disparity of origin companion's content in bg3 and couldn't so, hey, this fucking sucks

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #the fact that the astarion favoritism is baked into the game itself is so darksided oh my god #bc what do you mean wyll has TWO THIRDS THE AMOUNT OF DIALOGUE??? #anyways this thread was also how i found out that astarion is the only one with durge specific scenes #and bc the writer was being forced into crunch and writing for both of them. lol #ETA I know abt Wyll being recast/rewritten and Karlach being added last. the post I linked goes into all of that in detail #as well as linking to another post that goes into even more detail and explains where these numbers came from. #you do not have to tell me. or accuse me of making shit up to make people mad. i know and i'm still mad lol #game design is very complicated yes but there's many ways they could've avoided giving the one black character the least amount of content

[vongulli]

more things!!!!!! (mostly buggy!!!!!!! specifically 🥗!!!!)

#Art #one piece #Buggy #buggy the clown #sir crocodile #LOVE the salad emoji someone explained why ppl use it for fem versions its very silly and cute #anyways crocobug yuri into my veins (and regular crocobug they're so silly to me.. love them..)