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Women Think I'm Tasty

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

Reader has grey skin, and monarch butterfly wings, they can be any color that you want. This is reader's outfit and shoes. If you want something different, you're more than welcome to imagine something else!!

This chapter takes place during the pilot episode.

Song Recommendation:

Set Fire To The Rain - Adele

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"Charlie? Are you okay?"

Charlie turned around and saw her aunt walking towards her, a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Y/N," Charlie said. "The extermination just has me thinking that's all.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," Y/N said gently, grabbing onto Charlie's shoulders. "Your idea is amazing and its gonna work, I'm sure of it."

Charlie smiled. "Thanks Y/N,"

"That's what I'm here for, kiddo," Y/N smiled back. "Now c'mon, let's go back inside. It smells gross out here."

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Y/N was sitting on the couch in the hotel, scrolling on her phone, reading about the latest extermination and the turf wars.

"This is all so fucking stupid," she muttered as she scrolled. "I hate the end of extermination day so fucking much."

"Y/N, are you coming?" said a voice.

Y/N looked up and saw her niece's girlfriend, Vaggie.

"What do you mean?" Y/N asked.

"We're going to the news station to try and get the hotel out there," Vaggie explained.

"Oh shit!" Y/N exclaimed, jumping off the couch. "I totally forgot that was today! Yeah, I'm coming, let me just get my shoes on."

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," Charlie said.

"No, I want to," Y/N said as she put her boots on. "You're gonna need all the support you can get. Besides, I want this to happen almost as much as you do."

"Thanks Y/N," Charlie said hugging her aunt. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"The feeling is mutual," Y/N laughed, hugging Charlie back. "Now c'mon we don't wanna be late do we?"

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"Good afternoon, I'm Katie Killjoy,"

"And I'm Tom Trench,"

Y/N sat on the couch in the dressing room, watching the news play on the T.V., her leg bouncing up and down nervously.

"Chaos out of Pentagram City today as the turf war is raging on the west side," Tom Trench said on the T.V. "Between notable king pin Sir Pentious and self-proclaimed spunky powerhouse, Cherri Bomb."

"That's right Tom," Katie Killjoy said. "After the recent extermination, many areas are now up for grabs."

The T.V showed footage of the fight between Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb, the two of them throwing egg creatures and bombs at each other.

"Demons all over Hell are already duking it out to gain new territory," Katie said as the footage played.

"Those two seem to be really going at it, huh?" Tom said as the footage finished.

"It looks like they're fighting tooth and nail for that hot spot," Katie said, putting an actual tooth in her mouth and eating it.

'Gross,' Y/N thought, grimacing.

"And I'd sure like to nail her hot spot," Tom chuckled.

"You are a limp dick jackass, Tom. Or should I say..." Katie said, pouring hot coffee onto Tom's lap. "No dick."

Tom held his lap, trying to keep his sounds of pain down.

"Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of Hell's own head honcho," Katie said, ignoring Tom. "Who's here to discuss her brand-new passion project. All that and more after the break."

Y/N got up, walking over to Charlie and Vaggie.

"You remember what to say?" Vaggie asked as she finished fixing Charlie's bow tie.

Charlie took in a deep breath. "Yes! Let's do this!"

"Just look at me and I'll mouth it to you," Vaggie said, making Charlie frown.

"Come on Vaggie, I know what to say," Charlie groaned. "I just feel like we need to...I don't know, make things sound more exciting."

Charlie gasped. "Ohhhh what if I s-"

"Sing a song about it?" Y/N finished. "Charlie, sweetie, I love you and your ideas, but please for the love of Satan, please don't sing.

"Your aunt's right, this is serious." Vaggie said, grabbing onto Charlie's shoulders.

"Well you know, I'm better at expressing myself and my goals through song," Charlie said, climbing on the table.

"I know and you're great at it but," Y/N struggled to find the right words. "Life isn't a musical hun."

"Fine. But I have these other ideas of what to say," Charlie said, jumping up and down. "The highlighted bits are the best parts!"

Vaggie took the paper and read it, Y/N skimmed through it over Vaggie's shoulder.

"It's all highlighted," Vaggie said.

"Is that a drawing?" Y/N asked.

"Yes! That's the happy ending scene!" Charlie exclaimed, grabbing Vaggie's and Y/N's shoulders. "Everyone's smiling and happy in Heaven!"

"I don't think it's that simple," Vaggie said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Just please follow the talking points that the three of us went over."

"And do NOT sing!" Y/N said.

"Okayyy fine," Charlie groaned as an alarm bell went off, signaling that the commercial break was over. "I'll just have to result to my impeccable improv skills." she said, walking away.

Y/N looked over at Vaggie, who had a worried look on her face.

"Hey," Y/N said, putting her arm around Vaggie's shoulders. "She'll be fine, I know it."

"I hope so," Vaggie sighed.

Suddenly, the T.V. screen turned on. The two of them watched intently.

"Welcome back," Katie said, her neck cracking in an unnatural way. "So, Charlotte,"

"It's Charlie," Charlie said awkwardly.

"Whatever," Katie dismissed. "Tell us about this new passion project you've been insistently pestering our news station about!"

"How many times did Charlie call the new station?" Y/N asked.

"37 times," Vaggie muttered.

"37!? What!?"

"Well," Charlie said, looking around. She made eye contact with Vaggie and Y/N, and they urged her to go on.

"As most of you know, I was born here in Hell and growing up, I always tried to see the good in everything around me," she said, as Katie killed a bug, the bug's blood landing on Charlie's cheek. "Hell is my home and you are my people. We...we just went through another extermination. We lost so many souls, and it breaks my heart to see my people being slaughtered every year and no one is even given a chance!" she banged her fist on the table.

"I can't stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such violence," she said, getting up and walking around.

Vaggie and Y/N looked at each other in concern.

"Soo, I've been thinking," Charlie said. "Isn't there a more humane way to endure overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through...redemption? Well, I think yes! So that's what this project aims to achieve!"

"Ladies and gentlemen," she said, walking back over to the reporter's desk and sitting down. "I'm opening up a first of its kind! A hotel that rehabilitates sinners!"

It was quiet, people stared at her in confusion and shock.

"You know, 'cause hotels are for people passing through, temporarily," Charlie laughed awkwardly.

Y/N slapped her forehead. "She's getting killed out there," she muttered.

"I figure it would serve a purpose," Charlie said looking down. "A place to work towards redemption...yay!"

"Hah! Stupid bitch," the cameraman beside Y/N laughed. In one swift move, Y/N punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground.

"Serves you right asshole," she muttered.

"Look, every single one of you has something good deep down inside, I know you do." Charlie said sincerely. Suddenly her eyes widened, and she smirked. "Maybe I'm not getting through to you."

"Oh no," Vaggie and Y/N said at the same time.

~Happy Day In Hell song plays out (I'm too lazy to write out the whole thing)~

After Charlie was done singing her song, she was standing on the desk, breathing heavily.

"Wow," said a random demon. "That was shit."

Everybody started to laugh. Charlie's face started to fall.

Y/N looked around, wanting to punch everybody in there in the face for laughing.

"What in the nine circles makes you think a single citizen of Hell would give two shits about becoming a better person?" Katie laughed. "You have no proof that this little experiment even works! You want people to be good? Just because?"

"Well," Charlie said. "We have a patron already, who believes in our cause, and he's shown incredible progress!"

The crowd oohed.

"Oh?" Katie said. "And who might that be?"

"Don't say his name, don't say his name," Y/N said.

"Oh, just someone named Angel Dust,"

"The porn star?" Tom asked.

"You fucking mutt, Tom," Katie said, scratching the desk "In any case, That's not even an accomplishment. I'm sure you can get that hooker to do anything with enough sugar and lube."

"Oh, I beg to differ," Charlie leaned in closer to Katie. "He's been behaved, clean, and out of trouble for two weeks now."

Suddenly, Katie pushed Charlie off the desk. "We are receiving word that a new player has entered the ongoing turf war!" she said cheerfully. "Let's go to the live feed."

The footage showed Angel Dust stepping on the egg creatures and shooting guns

"Oh shit," Y/N muttered. "I swear, I'm gonna kick that spider's ass."

"It looks like the one who just joined the battle is none other than porn actor, Angel Dust!" Katie said. "What a juicy coincidence! You must feel really stupid right now."

Katie and Tom started to laugh. "Ratings!" The two of them said, doing jazz hands.

"Don't look at this!" Charlie said, trying to block out the green screen footage.

"Well, it sure looks like your little project is dead on arrival." Katie said. "Tell us, how does it feel to be such a total failure?" Katie started laughing

"That's it," Y/N said, walking towards the front, pushing the crowd out of the way.

"Yeah, well, how does it feel that I got your pen huh? Bitch!"

Katie stopped laughing.

Charlie laughed awkwardly, already knowing that she was in some deep shit. "Oops," she said, putting the pen back down.

Tom immediately ran, and Katie jumped on Charlie.

"Hey, cock sucker!" Y/N yelled, jumping onto Katie's back. "Get the FUCK off my niece!"

Using all the strength she could muster she kicked Katie as hard as she could, making Katie pull on her wings.

Charlie and Katie fought for a little while longer, with Y/N trying to pull Katie off her. Somehow, Tom Trench caught on fire. The four of them started screaming.

"I said get the FUCK off of her!" Y/N screamed, pulling Katie off and grabbing onto Charlie's hand. "Vaggie! C'mon! Let's go!"

"I swear I'm gonna fucking kill Angel!"

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Y/N, Charlie, Vaggie, and Angel Dust sat in the limo.

Charlie was looking out the window, Angel was playing with window button, and Y/N and Vaggie were glaring at him.

"What?" Angel asked.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Y/N cried out. "What the fuck were you doing!?"

"I owed my girl buddy a solid," Angel said. "Isn't that a 'redeeming' quality? Helping friends with stuff."

"Not with turf wars that result in territorial genocide!" Vaggie yelled.

"You win some, you lose a few hundred," Angel laughed, putting his feet up on the seat. "It wasn't that bad anyway,"

He continued to play with the window button until Vaggie threw a knife at it, breaking it.

"Oh, come on! I had to!" he said. "My credibility was on the line! I mean, what kind of repuation would I have if people found out I was tryin' to go clean? It just throws out my entire persona."

"Your credibilty, are you serious?" Y/N asked. "What about the hotels? You made us look like a fucking joke!"

"No, no, no, babe," Angel said. "Jokes are funny. I made you look...uhh...sad. And pathetic! Like an orphan with no arms or legs...with progeria! Right, now I'm bummed thinkin' about it. This thing have any liquor?"

"Can you please just try to take this seriously?" Vaggie asked.

"Fine, I'll try, just don't get your taco in a twist, baby."

"Was that you trying to be sexist or racist?"

"Whatever pisses you off more," Angel said, looking for booze. "Is there seriously no liquor in here?"

"We should just kill him," Y/N said to Vaggie.

"Too late, toots," Angel said. "Wait, would that make me double dead? Where exactly do I go? To double hell?" Angel started laughing. "Sorry, you're stuck with me, bitches, get used to it."

Vaggie started muttering in Spanish.

"Listen, who cares is some jackoffs got hurt?" Angel said. "Most of them are ugly freaks. Look around, you got a bunch of Harley Quinn babies down here."

"You're one to talk," Y/N muttered, making sure Angel heard.

"Hey! This body is flawless. Everyone wants some of me, and I got the creepy fan letters to prove it."

"Ew, gross, put that fucking thing away," Y/N said, not wanting to look at the creepy fan letter any longer.

"That was really uncool, you know, Angel," Charlie said, finally speaking up.

"Uncool!?" Vaggie cried. "After that trainwreck there is no way anyone is gonna want to stay at the hotel! All thanks to you and your selfish bullshit!"

"Does that mean I don't have a free room anymore?"

It was quiet for a moment. Y/N debated whether she should kill him right then and there.

"Hey, come on, we don't know if things are over yet," Charlie said. "Y/N, Vaggie, try to relax, it'll be okay!"

Vaggie smiled softly when Charlie put her hand on her shoulder. It made Y/N happy knowing that Charlie found someone who cared about her just as much as she and Lucifer did.

Finally, the limo reached the hotel, the four of them getting out and walking into the hotel.

Y/N flopped down on the couch, Vaggie sat down next to her.

"It's probably a good idea to get some actual food in this place," Angel said, sucking on a popsicle. "You know, to feed all the wayward souls you got in here." Angel laughed.

Sensing that Charlie wasn't in the mood, Angel stopped laughing and walked away.

Y/N was sore and tired, she didn't even pay attention to when Charlie walked away. Right as she was about to doze off, Charlie ran into the room.

"Vaggie! Y/N!"

"What now?" Y/N groaned.

"The Radio Demon is at the door,"

"What!?" Vaggie and Y/N said.

"Uhh who?" Angel asked.

"What should I do?" Charlie asked.

"Okay, well, um, whatever you do, don't let him in!" Y/N said, standing up.

Charlie walked to the front door and opened it up.

"What did I just say?"

Vaggie got up and grabbed her spear, Y/N not far behind her.

"Stop right there!" Vaggie yelled, holding her spear to his throat. "I know your game, and I'm not gonna let you hurt anyone here you pompous, cheesy, talk show, shit lord!"

"Dear, if I wanted to hurt anyone here," Alastor said, his mouth not moving. "I would have done so."

Y/N very slowly started to back up, not wanting to be close to the Radio Demon.

"Now, I'm here because I want to help!" Alastor said cheerfully.

"Umm excuse me?" Y/N asked, dumbfounded.

"Hello? Is this thing on?" Alastor asked, tapping his cane/microphone.

"No, no, I heard you loud and clear," Y/N said warily. "You want to help us?"

"Yes! I want to help with you with this ridiculous you're trying to do! This hotel!" Alastor said. "I want to help you run it."

"Uhhh why?" Charlie asked.

"Why does anyone do anything?" Alastor laughed. "Sheer, absolute boredom!"

Y/N suspiciously eyes him up and down.

"I've lacked inspiration for decades," Alastor said, pushing Vaggie. "My work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless! I've come to create a new form of entertainment!"

"Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as entertainment?" Charlie said awkwardly.

Alastor laughed. "It's the purest kind, my dear," he said. "Reality! Cruel passion! And after all, the world is a stage, and the stage, is a world of entertainment."

"So, does this mean you think it's possible to rehabilitate a demon?" Charlie asked hopefully but was cut off by Alastor laughing.

"Of course not!" he laughed. "That's wacky nonsense! Redemption, oh the non-existent humanity! No, no, no, no, I don't think there's anything left that can save such loathsome sinners," he said, looking over at Y/N, Vaggie, and Angel. "The chance given was the life they lived before, the punishment is this! There is no undoing what is done."

"Then why are you here, if you don't believe in our cause?" Y/N asked, her eyebrow raised.

"Consider is an investment in ongoing entertainment for myself!" Alastor said, spinning Charlie. "I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment, only to repeatedly trip and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure,"

Y/N stared at him with uneasiness.

"Right," Charlie said, removing herself from Alastor's grasp.

"Yes indeedy!" Alastor said, leading Charlie away. "I see big things coming our way, and who better to help you then..."

Y/N, Vaggie, and Angel stared at him as he walked off with Charlie.

"So, uh, what's the deal with smiles over there?" Angel asked.

"You've never heard of Alastor before?" Y/N asked. "You've been down here longer than me and Vaggie."

Angel shrugged his shoulders.

"The Radio Demon? One of the most powerful beings Hell has ever seen?" Y/N asked.

"Eh, not big on politics," Angel said, crossing his arms.

"Ugh, you explain, Vaggie," Y/N said. "I have a headache."

"Fine," Vaggie groaned, then cleared her throat. "Decades ago, Alastor manifested in Hell, seemingly overnight. He began to topple overlords who had been dominant for centuries. That kind of raw power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcasted his carnage all throughout Hell, just so everyone could witness his ability. Sinners started calling him the Radio Demon, as lazy as that is. Many have speculated what unimaginable forces enabled him to rival our world's most ancient and destructive evils. But one thing's for sure, he's an unpredictable source of danger, a wicked spirit of mystery, and a violent monster of chaos, the likes of which we can't risk getting involved with unless we want to end up erased!" Vaggie finished.

"Are ya done?" Angel said. "He looks like a strawberry pimp!"

"Well, I don't trust him!" Vaggie said.

"To be fair," Angel said. "Do you trust any man?"

Y/N elbowed him in his ribcage, hard, as Vaggie got up and walked over to Charlie.

"Ow!" he said, rubbing his side. "That fucking hurt!"

"Yeah, well maybe you shouldn't act like a self asorbed asshole then!"

"Says you, you uptight, prissy bitch!"

"At least I don't have to fuck greasy truckers to make some cash!"

"At least greasy truckers want to actually fuck me!"

"How is that an insult? That's just sad!"

The two of them continued to argue until Charlie started to speaking to Alastor, catching Y/N's attention.

"Okay, so, Al," she said. "You're sketchy as fuck and you clearly see what I'm trying to do here as a joke. But I don't. I think everyone deserves a chance to prove that they can be better, so I'm taking your offer to help, on the condition that there be no trickster, voodoo strings attached." she finished, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"So it's a deal then?" Alastor asked, holding out his hand.

Green light started to emit in the room, almost knocking Y/N, Vaggie and Angel over.

"Nope!" Charlie said. "No shaking, no deals, I....hmm...as princess of Hell and heir to the throne, I uh hearby order that you help out with this hotel, for as long as you desire.

It was quiet for a moment. Charlie looked over at Vaggie and Y/N, Vaggie looked to the side, a concerned look on her face. Y/N shrugged her shoulders.

"Sound fair?" Charlie asked.

"Hmm, fair enough,"

"Cool beans,"

Alastor hummed while he looked around, suddenly he grabbed Vaggie by the chin. "Smile my dear!" he said. "You know you're never fully dressed without one."

Alastor continued to walk around, humming.

"What's he doing?" Y/N whispered to Vaggie.

"No clue," she whispered back. "But whatever it is, I don't like it."

"So where is your hotel staff?" Alastor asked Charlie.

"Uhh well..." Charlie said, looking over at Vaggie and Y/N.

Alastor laughed. "You're going to need more than that,"

Behind Alastor's back, Y/N flipped him off.

"And what you can do my feminine fellow?" Alastor asked Angel.

"I can suck your dick!"

"Hah! No!"

"Your loss,"

"Well, this just won't do," Alastor said. "I supposed I can cash in a few favors to liven things up."

"Um, what do you mean by that?" Y/N asked, Alastor ignored her.

He snapped his fingers, and something appeared in the fireplace.

He walked over and picked it up. It was small and had soot all over it, whatever it was.

Suddenly, it's eye opened, staring at them all. Y/N backed up.

It moved and all the soot off of it was gone. It was a little demon, resembling a cockroach. She smiled at the four of them, her one eye looking around.

"This little darling is Niffty," Alastor said, dropping her.

"Hi! I'm Niffty!" she said, waving at them "It's been a while since I've made new friends! Why are you all women? Is there any men here!? I'm sorry, that's rude. Oh man, this place is filthy! This place really needs a lady's touch, which is weird because you're all ladies, no offense. Oh my gosh this is awful!" she said, running around, dusting.

The four of them stared at Niffty in confusion, and a little bit of fear.

Alastor snapped his fingers again and a grumpy looking cat hybrid appeared.

"What the fuck is this?" the cat asked.

"You!" he said, pointing at Alastor.

"Oh, Husker, my good friend, glad you could make it!" Alastor said.

'So that's his name,' Y/N thought. 'He's not that bad looking.'

"Don't you 'Husker' me you son of a bitch!" Husker said. "I was about to win the whole damn pot!"

"Good to see you too!"

"What the hell do you want with me this time?"

"My friend, I am doing some charity work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services, I hope that's okay!" Alastor said.

"Are you shittin' me?"

"Hmm, no I don't think so!" Alastor said cheerfully.

Husker pushed Alastor off of him. "You thought it would be some kind of big fucking riot just to pull me out of nowhere!?" he said. "You think I'm some kind of fucking clown!?"

"Maybe,"

"I ain't doing no fucking charity job," Husker said.

"Well, I figured you would be the perfect face to man the front desk of this fine establishment." Alastor said, pointing at the hotel bar. "With your charming smile and welcoming energy, this job was made for you. Don't worry my friend, I can make this more welcoming, if you wish," Alastor said, summoning a bottle of booze.

Husker stared at the bottle for a moment.

"What? You think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze!?" Husker said, grabbing the bottle. "Well you can," he said downing the bottle.

'An alchoholic, even better.' Y/N thought.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" Vaggie said. "No bar! No alchohol! This is supposed to be a place that discourages sin, not some kind of brothel man cave!"

"Shut up!" Angel said, tackling Vaggie. "We are keeping this!" he said, pointing to Husker.

"Hey," he said, leaning on the bar.

"Go fuck yourself," Husk said

"Only if you watch me,"

Y/N pushed Angel out of the way. "Sorry about him, he's horny all the time, you get used to it after a while."

Husk looked her up and down, a small smile coming onto his face. Before he could say something, Charlie came and pushed herself in between them.

"Oh my gosh! Welcome to the Happy Hotel!" she exclaimed, stars in her eyes. "You are going to love it here!"

"I lost the ability to love years ago," he said, drinking more of the booze.

"So, what do you think?" Alastor asked.

"This is amazing!" Charlie said, a huge smile on her face.

"Not bad, I'll give you that," Y/N said, walking towards him.

"It's okay," Vaggie said.

Alastor laughed, pulling the three of them closer to him. "This is going to be very entertaining!"

Vaggie and Y/N removed themselves from his grasp, Y/N walked back to the bar.

~Alastor's song plays. I forgot the name of it~

Before Alastor could finish his song, there was an explosion outside, creating a hole in the wall. That piece of wall flew and hit Niffty.

Looking outside, Y/N saw the steampunk looking blimp that was on the news that day.

"Well, well, well, we meet yet again, Alasstor," Sir Pentious said.

"Do I know you?" Alastor asked.

Sir Pentious' face fell. "Oh yes you do, and this time I have the element of surprisse!"

A ray gun came out of the blimp, pointing at the seven of them.

"I'm so evil!" Sir Pentious laughed.

Suddenly, a portal opened up beneath the blimp, black tentacles came out of it, grabbing onto the blimp.

Y/N could hear Sir Pentious screaming.

Suddenly, the portal dissapered and the blimp exploded.

Everyone was looking at Alastor with a 'what the fuck' look on their faces.

"Well, I'm starved!" Alastor said. "Who wants some jambalaya! My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her!"

"I hate my life," Y/N heard Husker mutter.

"Don't we all?" Y/N said as they walked back into the hotel. "I'm Y/N by the way, do you mind if I call you Husk instead of Husker? It takes less time to say."

Husker looked at her, confusion on his face, then that small smile cmae back onto his face.

"No, I wouldn't mind one bit, Y/N,"

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sorry that there isn't more husk, he doesnt have a lot of screen time in the pilot 😭

i wanna try the mcrib from mcdonalds

and also i wont be uploading the next chapter of singin in the rain fro a few days, cuz my amazon prime isnt working for some weird reason

also, y/n isn't charlie's bio aunt

stay safe and drink lots of water <33

xoxo, Izzy

Taglist 💃

@mysticwitchcraftco

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