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slut4thebroken · 6 months

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Opposites Attract

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jason Todd x reader

Summary | Jason in your hyperfeminine pink bedroom (and house lol)

Warnings | Reader isn’t infantalized she just likes feminine things lol, fluff, kissing, Jay being a big fat softie.

Words | 1.2 k

Notes | Honestly idk. I’m going through an aesthetic change rn and was struck with a vision one day lol. (Also this pic set is a direct result of there being literally no pictures or gifs of Jason 😭 I had to take matters into my own hands smh.)

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

You always loved when Jason came over. You loved his company of course, but mostly you just loved seeing him in your house, especially your room.

There’s something almost comical about a six foot tall, burly, vigilante, who’s covered in scars and only wears dark clothes, standing amongst all of the baby pink and white, and the delicate silk and lace in your bedroom. He sticks out terribly, even in the rest of your house, and you can’t help but be amused by it everytime.

You were sitting in bed with a book tonight, wearing a white babydoll nightie and hugging your teddy bear to your chest. When you heard a noise from outside your bedroom, you stiffened, your heart beating faster and harder in your chest. You strained your ears to listen and for a few seconds it was completely silent until you heard quiet footsteps. Before you could react your door was opening and you almost breathed a sigh of relief when you saw who it was. All of the anxiety quickly melted into happiness.

“Jay!” You said excitedly, setting your book on the nightstand.

“Hi, princess.” His hair was still a little damp and he was in casual clothes so he must’ve done some vigilante stuff tonight— a while ago you scolded him for tracking mud on your rug and getting blood on your sheets, and ever since then, you’ve demanded that he comes here completely clean.

You set down the teddy bear and got up to greet him properly, with a hug and a kiss. His hands settled on your waist over the soft material of your dress and you placed your arms on his shoulders, standing up on your toes so he didn’t have to bend down so much. When he pulled back from the kiss, you whined quietly, making him chuckle.

“You scared me.” You frowned. Even thought you gave him a key, you wished he’d knock because of how naturally quiet he always is.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He murmured, giving you another quick kiss, making you forget all about that. “Should I be jealous?” He asked and you furrowed your brows, not understanding because you were still dazed from both kisses. But he explained once he saw your expression. “That you’re cuddling with another man in your bed.” You couldn’t keep the little giggle in, especially when he started smiling.

“No.. It’s just Teddy.” You said through a quiet laugh. “Plus now that you’re here, I can cuddle with you instead.” You gave him a bright smile and he chuckled under his breath, bringing a hand up to brush your hair back, then cup your cheek.

“I’m not intruding?”

“Nope. I was just reading.”

“Good cause I thought we could bake some cookies and have a movie night.” You were nodding eagerly before he could even finish.

It was mostly him putting everything together and you following his every move with heart eyes. You wanted to help, but each time you tried, he sat you back down. He gave you the spoon for you to lick the extra batter from while he finished everything up. When the utensil was clean, he grabbed it and put it in the sink, then walked over to you and picked you up, taking you to the couch. You giggled as you clung to him— you didn’t think he’d drop you, it was just a habit that eased your nerves. When you were both on the couch with your legs over his, his hand on your thigh, and his arm around your shoulders, he leaned down and gave you a quick kiss.

“I missed you, baby.” He rasped, making your cheeks heat up.

“I saw you three days ago.” You chuckled breathlessly, even though you probably missed him more than he did.

“And that was three days too long. What have you been up to, pretty girl?” He leaned down even farther and pressed soft kisses to your neck. You let out a shaky breath and gripped his shirt.

“N-nothing… Just working on some hobbies.” You shrugged, getting a little sad. You wished you lived with him. You wished you could make dinner every night for both of you, clean up around the house, help him out of his clothes when he got home on days that he was particularly battered, give him a massage— and… anything else he might need— whenever he’s feeling stressed… You wanted it all. But you couldn’t have it, not yet at least.

“Yeah?” He lightly nipped at your neck, making you let out a startled whimper.

“Mhm.” You hummed, letting your eyes flutter shut. He kissed down your neck to your shoulder and slowly moved the fabric down to expose more skin. “Jay…” You said through a breath, trying not to get overwhelmed with the feeling of his lips on you.

“Hm?” He moved to your collarbone now, slowly kissing across it to the center of your chest.

“Need you.” You whined, starting to squirm. His hand started rubbing up and down your thigh, probably to soothe you, but it only got you more worked up. “Please?” You used the voice that always gets you what you want and he pulled back to look at you, letting out a heavy sigh as his lips curled into a small smile.

“I can’t say no to you, princess.” You all but beamed in response, excited to get what you wanted. His hand started sliding up your leg until he gripped your hip, under the nightie, making your breath hitch. Leaning forward, he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips and smiled when you started squirming again. He never broke the kiss as he lifted your body and set you in his lap, straddling his legs. Both of his hands squeezed your hips, teasing the waistband of your panties, and yours moved to his hair, tugging lightly.

Faintly, you heard a noise from the kitchen, but you couldn’t focus on it. When he pulled back, you whined and tried to kiss him again, but he placed a gentle hand on your neck as a warning.

“I have to get the cookies, baby.”

“Let them burn, I don't care.” You were still squirming, trying to get friction and pleasure that he wouldn’t allow.

“You say that now, but in half an hour you’ll be pouting about how you don’t have any cookies.” He chuckled, making you frown. He didn’t give you another chance to protest before he was lifting you off his lap and placing you back on the couch. You grabbed his hand when he started walking past you, looking up at him with pleading eyes and a pout.

“You’re my good girl… you can wait just a little longer, can’t you?” You frowned and averted your gaze for a moment, then nodded. He gave you a soft smile as he cupped your cheek, running his thumb over your bottom lip. “Thank you, baby.” He said proudly, making you blush, then continued on toward the kitchen. You turned around and leaned your chin on the back of the couch to watch him.

He looked so silly in your kitchen full of pink colors, towels with lace trim, and flower themed decor. But he looked even sillier wearing your pink oven mitts as he took the tray out of the oven. You bit back a smile as you watched him reach for a heart shaped spatula to put the cookies on a plate.

Despite the incongruity in the delicate setting, he managed to blend in seamlessly, almost making the contrast appear natural. It was giving you even more proof that he belonged here— belonged with you.

Taglist (join here)

@pedrisgatorade @lunyyx @faebirdie @idkdudsworld @nashja @rentaldarling @whydoyoucare866 @zurakoisanhornysimp @brooklynscherry-z @wartofart @deimks @n1ghtw1ngslvr @harleycao @baebeepeach @jayroytodd @zurakoisanhornysimp

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd fluff

382 notes · View notes

levmada · 5 months

Note

PLEASE write about Levi’s mental state, i’m begging you

He’s faced death and precarious situations since he was born, yet he’s still standing strong and hopeful, WHAT THE HELL I LOVE MY SHORT KING

IT'S FINALLY HERE😭im sorry anon i hope you're around to see this and if u are i hope i dont disappoint

the tone in this analysis is so weird because i kept getting caught between 'this is an apa paper no contractions, academic language, double spacing -' and 'this is a tumblr post about a fictional blorbo wtf r u on'

i also use some scientific language i try my best to explain but if this turns anyone off i don't blame them because im unhealthily obsessed

*i'm a third-year undergraduate psychology student w/ a concentration in psychopathology

tw/cw: discussion of childhood exposure to sex (not assault)

Foreword

I’ve been putting this off for a while (I’m forgetful and this topic is intimidating what can I say), but being a year out from graduating with my bachelor’s to become a mental health professional, and being a Levi scholar(/hj), I wanted to give this a shot.

I wanted to dissect and examine Levi Ackerman’s mental health “currently” (as in general canon), and explain as thoroughly but as simply as possible how and why he thinks and acts the way he does.

Seeing how AOT is pretty renowned for leaving out the ‘insignificant’ details, especially character details, a good majority of my assertions and even details of his life are built off of correlations and “signs and symptoms”; meaning some things could be an aspect of Levi’s personality, or a symptom of psychopathology.

I will examine his childhood (especially his childhood), adolescence, young adulthood, and “present” adulthood, with a short summary at the end of where he might be mentally after the war.

*Lastly, I don’t like it when things I say about a series or character are taken as fact or make it implied that someone else’s thoughts are “wrong”. This is partly built on headcanons anyway, which are influenced by my own experiences. Don’t take away from this that this is me telling you what to think.*

Childhood

The most important period of development occurs in infancy and childhood, especially from the ages of 3-6. This is when a child learns where to find security, love, and basic skills, gaining stability as they develop.

Well, Kuchel died when Levi was 4.

Maternal Love / Learning Empathy / Anxious Attachment Style

Levi was born into deep poverty within a violent unwelcoming environment. Basic physical needs must have been very hard to meet (i.e., consistently fed enough, a clean environment, no physical threats). And where Levi was born is like the dictionary definition of a bad environment for a small child, excluding only his mother’s care and love.

As it’s generally understood in canon (and suggested from Levi’s special backstory manga so far) she was a caring parental figure early in Levi’s life that loved him unconditionally. We can conclude that Kuchel did everything within her power to compensate for both parenting Levi alone and shielding him the best she could from his horrible surroundings, teaching the kindness, goodness, and love that Levi would internalize and go on to strive for for his entire life.

As far as we know, no other children lived in the brothel. Socialization is just as important for a young child as receiving love. With this isolation, it’s extremely difficult to learn how to connect to other people, or pick up on social cues. Levi would’ve never learned how to interact properly with his peers—aside from use of aggression and violence which Kenny would go on to instill in him.

With the danger/anxiety imposed by strangers, mostly if not entirely men, he would turn to his mother for comfort all. The. Time.

And she would give him that support and affection of course. This early motherly affection is integral to child development: a child who receives empathy and affection is subliminally taught how to feel and express empathy towards others.

While Levi’s surroundings were dangerous, lonely, and chaotic—traumatizing enough for a toddler or young child—Kuchel provided a safety net from that, so I think that Levi developed an anxious attachment as a child: exhibiting clinginess, excessive fear of abandonment, and an excessive need for security and/or reassurance.

Paternal Trauma / Potential Androphobia

Born and living in a brothel, we can assume that Levi was probably seen as a burden and a mistake by others, especially by men (both the likely majority of her customers and her boss).

AOT ch69; Before the Fall, ch34

This is likely in contrast to the women (those living and working in the brothel like Kuchel). They should know Kuchel if not as friends, then acquaintances who could empathize for her and her son.

There’s an obvious trend here. If Levi is going to feel fear/danger/anxiety because of men, he should have a general aversion to men and-or the behavior of men who he encountered as a child. This is impossible to know for sure or in meaningful detail, but it seemed to be resolved by the time he became an adult if so.

Although Kenny in his words was no more than Levi's teacher, Levi did see him as a father figure.

The subject of Kenny will be expanded on later, but it's clear Kenny in no way resembled a father, who also would go on to abandon Levi (at the age of 11 or so). Children without father figures tend to struggle more emotionally, psychologically, and socially. Specifically, (especially boys) tend to exhibit intimidating/aggressive personas to compensate for resentment, fear, and unhappiness.

Sexual Trauma (Tangent, Probably)

This is unconfirmed but a likely trauma Levi went through: exposure to sex as a child. There’s no way to confirm what he experienced, so I’ll function on ‘probably’s’ and ‘most likely’s’.

Because Levi and Kuchel only lived in one room, other rooms in the brothel should have belonged to other women, and he was at the oldest four, I wager that he was babysat by women who Kuchel knew and/or was made to hide somewhere while she worked, such as in a cabinet.

(for reference)

AOT ch69

The odds are high that he was exposed to the aftermath of sexual violence (i.e., marks seen on his mother), and the sound or smells that have to do with it. That young, he wouldn’t know what it was, but he should have realized later as an adolescent.

In general, children regardless of gender exposed to sexual content usually experience early puberty (which is just as likely for impoverished children, or children who experience chronic high-stress in general); issues with intimacy; become desensitized to high-risk behavior; negative/inaccurate expectations about sex and relationships in the future; influence inappropriate behavior with other children or adults; sex addiction.

This is especially relevant to Levi’s fear of closeness/intimacy in the future. Exposure to sexual situations—possibly not including CSA in his case—very early in life inflicts on a child emotions and stress they don’t have the intellect or reasoning to process or understand. An extreme aversion to interpersonal relationships, especially physical ones, results.

This stress Levi must have felt, being powerless to this happening to his mother, is a different beast. Children aren’t capable of handling high levels of stress, and so the brain will automatically create coping mechanisms: dissociation (a severe form of “zoning out”; observing the self “from the third person”; numbness; the feeling of living in a dream), excessive daydreaming/overactive imagination, symptoms of PTSD (nightmares and terrors; flashbacks; spontaneous activation of fight-flight-freeze associated with anxiety; excessive worrying/fear; loneliness/self isolation). PTSD will also be prevalent in Levi’s later life, which I’ll delve into later.

Inappropriate behavior and sex addiction are also highlights for me because they shouldn’t exist in him based on Levi's personality and behavior throughout the series. In my opinion, Levi ought to associate sex with pain, shame, and violence; he does see it as an ordinary job—a means to an end. He should be desensitized to sex as a concept, but associates it personally with shame, sadness, and pain, possibly feeling disgust towards it. So it is highly likely that Levi in every stage of life following this experienced sexual repulsion (usually associated with high anxiety towards sex), a low libido, or a lack of sexual desire entirely.

From a trauma perspective, he could avoid sexual topics of conversation, sexual settings (i.e., brothels), or an array of things which are sexually suggestive or he as a child possibly associated with sex (i.e., cleavage, panties, specific touch). Similarly, he might avoid direct reminders or have a post-traumatic reaction to them, such as anxiety or flashbacks (i.e., the sound of a bed creaking, the sight of wet clothes).

Importantly, it can be concluded that sexual violence was often exhibited, and the idea would be ingrained in him that sex, like everything else besides his relationship with his mother, is “give-and-take”, “victim-and-attacker”, and learn to be repulsed by intimacy. This impacts his willingness for later friendships and relationships as we’ll see later.

Early Abandonment & Early Exposure to Death

As Kuchel’s health deteriorated, Levi’s sense of security would break down. Availability of shelter, food, and emotional support would be even less secure than before. He might have been providing for Kuchel for some time, even, as it can be gathered that he received little to no help from those around him while she was sick. To whatever length he had to take responsibility and both fear for Kuchel, this would cement a sense of responsibility and guilt in him from the age of just four years old.

He will fail to save her—regardless of the fact that that’s not his responsibility in the first place; a child wouldn’t understand that—and then lose her with nothing he could do to even cushion the blow.

How powerless he must’ve felt. How hopeless. How likely is it that Levi found comfort in joining her? A child his age wouldn’t be able to comprehend death, basing our understanding on Piaget’s theory of cognitive development. To summarize, at the age of six or seven, children aren’t capable of complex, abstract thought like death or the finality of it. But Levi had to learn early.

AOT ch69

This will be center in his “clean-freak” tendencies later.

Adolescence

Most of this section is going to be rather vague again, but we already got the bulk of that over with in childhood!

Emotional Train Wreck / Lack of Identity

It’s hard to notice if you’re not paying attention, but in every scene we’re shown with Levi after his mother dies but before Kenny leaves, he’s wearing some variation of his mother’s one dress styled into a shirt. He loves her endlessly, even or especially in death. And part of cherishing her memory, to him, should’ve been taking after her as much as he could.

That’s how to explain why he didn’t become a cruel person (Kenny for instance) as he grew into a teenager, even though much of Levi’s outlook and behaviors come from him (ch57).

The more pertinent question is how extreme violence, reinforcement of the idea that that violence is power, and Kenny’s total (or most likely total) lack of communicated emotional connection affected him.

Levi would still desperately want that connection deep down, especially with his mother gone. This is a major reason why Levi sought to get stronger to please Kenny. For chronically abandoned people, that continues into adulthood and even beyond. A hole inside which can't be filled.

AOT ch69

Chronic loneliness—like I explained before—basically explains his aloof nature and awkward disposition. It’s not that Levi feels as detached as he looks, but he doesn’t know how to express himself or open up. He wouldn’t learn how to process his emotions, let alone talk about them. He’s basically emotionally stunted and immature in impersonal relationships (between friends and especially in regards to intimacy).

The Underground’s environment also makes him socially awkward, rude, of course stoic/not very expressive, and blunt. Levi was forced to become extremely observant of people to suss out their intentions, remaining vigilant of his surroundings at all times.

Levi doesn’t even get affection in any sense anymore. He doesn’t get a hug or a pat on the back, and he certainly doesn’t get a shoulder to cry on.

If anything, Kenny would punish him for showing weakness. Vulnerability is weakness; weakness is death.

What results is a continuous and boundless sense of emptiness inside that can’t be filled. He’s plagued by a chronic sense of unbelonging and loneliness. There’s no time or opportunity to develop “normally” as an adolescent. Socialization is limited at best; thinking of his place in the world is irrelevant when his one and only most pressing goal is survival; he doesn’t get to explore hobbies or interests.

OCD Propensity

One “interest” Levi is passionate about is cleaning, at least. Disease is what caused his mother to die. The easiest cause to point to would be their disgusting surroundings (although, Kuchel was infected by a customer). It is canon that Levi’s love of cleaning comes from "his personal experiences". In that interview, Levi first specifically references the important of fighting disease.

In other words, his "clean freak" nature comes, primarily, from the death of his mother: Filth -> disease -> death, and abandonment by extension.

His mother would’ve encouraged him to keep their room clean. There were times he or she had to have come down with something and dirtiness was the cause. On top of Kenny’s enforcement to keep up “clean” appearances to garner respect from everyone else in the Underground.

This in particular is extremely relevant to his mental health. When someone feels out of control of what is happening to them, especially in a recurring way, and especially as a child who doesn't yet know how to feel stable in an unstable environment, they look for something to control. It can be weight, bodily functions (blinking, breathing, etc), dominance over others, or cleaning, for instance.

Fear of disease, the urgent need to have control, and the basic need for stability makes it obvious that Levi would become obsessed with cleaning. And moreover, developing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I’ll go deeper into this diagnosis later.

Lack of Self Worth

Despite the acknowledgment throughout canon that he trusts in his own strength, it wasn’t always that way.

Canonically, Levi sought praise from Kenny by showing his strength because that was the only thing he received praise for. The conclusion Levi came to once Kenny left him was that he wasn’t strong enough (wasn’t good enough) to warrant staying with him.

In conjunction, Levi’s first conclusion was that he did something wrong, not that Kenny possibly had some obligation that forced him to leave the Underground, pointing again to his own lack of self-worth.

This scenario created a complex in him, the very root cause of Levi’s pain, the very foundation of what Levi would go on to prioritize in adulthood. If he isn’t useful to those he wants not to abandon him, he’s worthless. He’s only useful when he shows his strength. Every other aspect of him like his interests is either irrelevant or bland by default in his eyes.

He would go on to make it his mission to try his best to be good enough in order to save and protect the lives of others, but foremost those he cares about.

Young Adulthood

Our first exposure to Levi as an adult is in A Choice with No Regrets, his OVA/backstory.

(By the way, I’ll be basing this analysis off a mix of the manga and the OVA.)

Emotional Immaturity/Affective Dysregulation

Generally, Levi’s defining negative character trait as a young adult is his emotional immaturity/anti-social behavior. Yes he’s grumpy and rude which is always indicative of him, but he’s very quick to anger, too. He cursed at the Squad Leader who offended him (by assuming that because he, Isabel, and Farlan are from the Underground, they’d be dirty), and argued furiously with Farlan that he would kill Erwin—not because it was required for the job, but because he disrespected him—for a few examples.

ACWNR ch2

He tended to be arrogant, too. Such as when he ultimately called a Scout who had experience with the Titans stupid for telling Levi to hold his swords in a certain way. He spoke to every officer the same as he would anyone on the street, having a remarkable lack of basic respect for authority. He was insistent on distancing himself from the entire setting and structure of the Scouts as much as possible, both to not get attached, and he found their mission childish/foolish.

He’s rather selfish. There is nothing Levi cares about genuinely more than Isabel’s and Farlan’s lives and the job that will set them up with a good future. Farlan’s advice is the only one’s he takes and the only judgment outside himself that he considers, such as when Farlan asks him to not cause trouble with authority to keep a low profile, but even then he acts stubborn. Levi trusts nobody wholeheartedly except himself (until later in ACWNR).

There’s a cognitive dissonance in him. Growing up, and still as a young adult, Levi’s headspace is marked by fear and uncertainty, with his power as his source of confidence. The first time he kills a Titan (with Isabel and Farlan), he uses too much gas because he refuses to potentially risk his friends’ lives; when the expedition is upcoming, he abruptly tells Farlan and Isabel to find a reason to stay back, and that he’ll complete the dangerous part of the job on his own.

Levi is full of repressed fear and uncertainty. He hides and/or buries all of it for the sake of self-preservation both emotionally and physically.

Antisocial Personality…?

It’s extremely interesting how a character as selfless, heroic, and empathetic as Levi exhibits antisocial symptoms. I’d even argue that if his childhood was spent entirely without his mother figure, then he might be a dictionary definition of ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder).

People with this disorder live day-to-day under the constant assumption that whoever is around them is “out to get them”/searching for a weakness to exploit. Humanity is made up of only prey and predators; morals are completely subjective, perpetuated by the society that surrounds them. This constant need to defend oneself, the effect of the exact trauma the potential sociopath experienced, combined with a muted emotional spectrum, results in a complete disregard of everything, including people outside of themself. They might believe they’re entitled to comfort or admiration, but overall, they’re intensely self-serving, often aggressive, and ruthless.

Because Levi for instance learned to rely on violence both for “love” and survival, then he might fall on violence to manipulate a person or situation into serving himself. I see reason to believe that Levi could have grown into worse than Kenny’s image if it weren’t for his mother’s influence.

However, the greatest cause for deniability is Levi’s wide emotional spectrum (especially including empathy and shame), while a lack of shame is the most significant marker of ASPD . (It is arguably one of many testaments to his strength that a victim of so much suffering, violence, and cruelty could become a man as empathetic as him.)

However, these tendencies may still be relevant: A sense of arrogance—both to the way Levi thinks of some who he perceives as weak and live without good morals—lacking issue with using deceit or violence to attain a goal, and living outside the rule of authority.

I go into more detail about this idea here.

Conclusion

As is true in general, there’s very little to say of mental development once someone has reached their early–mid-twenties. What we know of Levi’s young adulthood does reinforce his fear of abandonment, but he finds a cause where his strength and compassion can be “put to good use” and give to him a life that is worth living.

Conclusion: the ‘Present’/Diagnoses Overview

C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)

Levi’s emotional dysregulation (i.e., inability to sit with and process negative emotions), his difficulties in relationships, insomnia, negative worldview, absent sense of self, and finally, his persistent sense of unworthiness/worthlessness are all indicative of C-PTSD. It’s distinct from PTSD in that he didn’t endure one short-term traumatizing event, but he grew up surrounded by trauma and saw it as normal (e.g., gang violence, extreme poverty, death of a parent, (more presumably) physically and emotionally abusive parental figure). Levi as a child developed no understanding of a nurturing, secure environment.

Negative/Absent Sense of Self

I’ve talked about this at length already, but it’s worth noting how Levi’s perception of himself must have changed when it was revealed that he is extremely strong physically not from his own efforts as much, but because he’s an Ackerman.

His self-confidence and self-worth have always been built on the foundation of his strength. He’s useful if he’s strong, so he’s worthy if he’s strong. Along with the extreme high pressure his goal to kill Zeke put on him in season four, he might have gone to extreme measures to compensate for his strength he might have felt was “unearned” (such as excessive exercise for example). This is an aside, but it was a blow to him for sure.

Emotional Dysregulation

The causes of emotional dysregulation generally which he experienced are as follows: early childhood trauma, feelings ignored, judged, or invalidated at a young age, and physical and emotional child neglect. Beyond his first four years of life with his mother, Levi experienced all these things (early exposure to sex and likely exposure to domestic violence aside).

It’s important to focus on emotional neglect specifically, when any and all perceived “weakness”, no matter how small, is unacceptable to Levi. He will never ask for help (being independent to a fault), he can’t define or process his emotions, and it doesn’t occur to him—and it could be a shock—when he learns that his friends care about him, not him insofar as how useful he is.

As an adult, Levi appears to be emotionally mature, but I argue that this isn’t the case. It’s more accurate to say that he has better control over his emotions (in that he buries them or ignores them) with a mature outlook because of all his experiences with suffering.

Similarly, he’s not outwardly emotional not because he’s antisocial (as related to ASPD, not introversion), but because he’s so “emotionally constipated” that he’s numbed the vast majority of the time.

Relationship Issues + Fear of Abandonment

Because of his fear of abandonment and impaired emotional intelligence in close relational conflict, he’s extremely passive and/or passive aggressive. In order to avoid potential abandonment, he doesn’t go out of his way to win major arguments—such as threatening to break Erwin’s legs if he didn’t stay away from the expedition in season three, but ultimately giving in. He’s also more likely to sneak petty insults into arguments, give “silent treatment”, slam doors, etc. His kindness and exceptional empathy shouldn’t let him be physically or overly violent.

These are likely additions to why Levi doesn’t foster many close relationships.

Fittingly, as a child I thought that Levi might have had an anxious attachment style (clingy, excessive need for security), but as this possibility for security was removed entirely, and he was taught to not rely on others, he would develop more of an overt avoidant attachment in adulthood in combination (fearful-avoidant): making very few emotional demands—even though he has needs—withdrawing when there’s conflict, acting aloof yet fearing abandonment, having difficulty expressing emotions he feels intensely, and fear of depending on someone else.

Anxiety

His cool-headedness even in the heat of battle/war (other factors like experience aside) is exactly what you would expect from someone diagnosed with C-PTSD; he’s accustomed to chronic high-stress. But small stressors (i.e., a change of plans) are overwhelming and make him quick to anger/excessive annoyance.

OCD

Emotional dysregulation is also closely associated with OCD.

OCD is much much more than being concerned with keeping clean or organized. OCD is an anxiety disorder composed of anxiety-related obsessions and compulsions, such as frequent and disturbing thoughts or images (intrusive thoughts). These attempt to be managed through rituals (i.e., handwashing, counting in patterns). Although symptoms will fluctuate with anxiety, OCD at its baseline is a distressing disorder.

Since he was young, Levi should have had an incessant need to be in control at all times. A shining example of this is his mother’s death, an incident he couldn’t control but included dirtiness/disease as a cause he could pinpoint, so this anxiety with dirtiness becomes a major obsession, and the compulsion is cleaning. (Putting aside the fact that Levi enjoys cleaning by itself too.)

It’s a widely-held belief that if Levi has OCD, it’s contamination OCD, as it specifically has to do with an obsession with dirtiness and a compulsion in cleaning (i.e., damaging handwashing, ritualized bathing that may take hours). However, based on the multitude of times Levi was covered in blood and remained unbothered by it (Titan and human), and in fact the obsession’s lack of relevance entirely during urgent missions/situations, contamination OCD is simply not plausible. Instead, it’s general OCD.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I don’t see his OCD as mild or severe. Levi is an extremely orderly and balanced person, so it can be concluded he must have things done a certain way, routinely, organizational, or planned; when the dirtiness is “negative” (i.e., Titan blood, blood on a knife he used to kill Isabel’s attackers), he is never more rigid with cleanliness; it’s probable he suffers intrusive thoughts (likely of the violent nature), a fear of contamination, and/or counting ritualistically, but the most obvious compulsion is cleaning. He might have sensory issues, such as disgust if he happens to brush shoulders with a stranger; aversion to particularly bright lights, irrational rage towards “mouth sounds” (i.e., chewing, coughing, swallowing), etc.

EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified)

Levi should have a complicated relationship with food to say the least.

In the realm of eating disorders, EDNOS is sort of a catch-all term when an individual doesn’t qualify for the diagnostic criteria of anorexia or bulimia, and it encompasses lesser-known eating disorders like Pica. It’s the most common diagnosis for clinical eating disorders.

I already covered how integral the early years of life are, and beginning at a young age, if children aren’t given a basic need like food, and they must seek out food on their own, it becomes an anxiety deeply rooted in the brain regardless of how well-fed they are when they’re older. There will always be an urge to have food available. Levi’s years in the Underground were spent either actively starving, or going about every single day having acquiring food as top priority. He was a young adult when he left, so it’s impossible to unlearn this (without extensive therapy, which Levi doesn’t seek). It’s similar to compulsions found in OCD: even though he logically knows that there will be a dinner after lunch, it’s impossible to put aside this worry.

That may mean always having food stashed, eating too much—especially in his early years Aboveground when he’d eat as much food in a day than he’d eat in a week Underground— stealing food, or eating way too quickly (as someone who lived in a place where food was considered something of a luxury resource and threatened being stolen at any time).

The latter factor contributes to Levi’s suggested preference to only eat alone—joining the fact that Levi only eats with Erwin after expeditions. Eating in front of others should be considered a weakness to him.

As time passes with this easy access to food, combined with his extremely narrow sense of what makes him “good enough”, his relationship with eating may become toxic. Especially when the stakes of his worthiness are so high—literally life and death. He may think that he’s privileged to eat at all, and when he feels worthless, he restricts himself from that “privilege”.

He may be so accustomed to the feeling of hunger, that it doesn’t immediately register with his mind when he is hungry.

Lastly, he may have a generally low appetite. This is often associated with depression, but depression is comorbid with C-PTSD.

Misc.

Some tangents/miscellaneous speculation about Levi’s psychology:

Queer?

Sexuality is formed and shifts due to a wide variety of factors, which most if not all are terribly understudied: genetics, hormones, and your environment/experiences. So again, my speculation.

With his fear of close relationships and negative experiences with sex, I think he should land somewhere on the queer spectrum, specifically under the asexual or aromantic umbrella (i.e., pansexuality/being panromantic (attraction to personality) and demisexuality/being demiromantic (attraction only to those he has an emotional connection to)).

MDD

The odds of Levi having MDD (major depressive disorder/clinical depression) are iffy. Most if not all of the symptoms are comorbid with childhood trauma and C-PTSD: Such as persistent apathy, guilt, and/or discontent; sleeping too much or too little; lack of energy; reduced or heightened appetite; irritability.

Oftentimes, depression, C-/PTSD, and related mental illnesses cause unexplained physical pain, such as back pain and occasional tension headaches. “Stress hormones” like adrenaline are built-up in the body, and usually persist without physical therapy and-or medication (Disclaimer this mention is based on nothing more than Levi always standing with at least one hand on his hip).

Body Language

Similar can be said of his body language from a cognitive perspective. The vast majority of the time, Levi has himself closed-off in some way, usually by crossing his arms to protect his chest; a subconscious barrier between oneself and another person.

Also see this official art of Levi asleep.

Afterword

We’ve known it’s not just Levi’s physical strength and skill that makes him the strongest, right? It should take immense mental strength to make it day-by-day dealing with the trauma and issues that he does, but not only has he survived and continues to, but he lives heroically, selflessly, with the wellbeing of everyone around him as a top priority. He buries all of his pain by moving forward always and without exception regardless of how painful the present is. Living with “no regrets” should in mental respects be a guise for pushing his trauma down, too; there’s just no words that can properly do Levi’s resilience justice.

Part of me wants to go into detail about his later adulthood, but given how very little we know (right now), I think it’d be too speculative.

However, based on what we have seen at the ending of AOT, it’s comforting to know and plain to see that Levi wasn’t defeated when he “lost” the reason to be so strong, and even his strength itself; he didn’t lose his love for his friends nor of life.

In middle age, based on Erikson’s psychosocial stages, the conflict that should enter Levi’s life is the idea of generativity versus stagnation. He seems satisfied with his life despite the negative effects of all he went through—grief, physical disability, inevitable mental scarring—and he’s still concerned with helping others, especially the younger generation in a world after the overwhelming devastation that was the Rumbling.

My speculated psychopathologies/diagnoses of Levi:

C-PTSD (insomnia prevalent)

OCD (contamination obsessions)

EDNOS

#levi aot #snk levi #levi ackerman #levi attack on titan #captain levi #captain levi ackerman #aot levi #aot levi ackerman #attack on titan levi #aot meta #levi heichou #rivaille heichou #levi rivaille #rivaille ackerman #lance corporal rivaille #levi snk #levi.thoughts #aot #attack on titan

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jjtheresidentbaby · 10 months

Note

Omg why did I just notice that your name is jj too 😭. I’m sorry for spamming you with ideas but I just have to ask about this one too. What about a classification au with caregiver!Spencer’s bringing little!reader into the BAU for a day and the entire team trying to talk to and hold the reader but they’re too shy to leave Spencer’s arms except for hotch because he just gives off safe dad vibes ( I have no other way to describe it😭)?

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ meeting ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹

|| spencer reid x reader

a/n: safe dad vibes from hotch is so real of you

warnings: anxiety, pet names

Spencer’s anxiety is especially high as he walks the stairs in the bullpen towards the table room. You’re sat on his hip happily, chewing on the necklace he bought you for trips out in public when you couldn’t have a teether out.

Logically Reid knows he has nothing to be nervous about, the team is a group of caregivers and flips, and they’re all supportive when Jj slips around them as she’s one of the flips. This should be fine he tells himself, hoisting you closer to his chest as he presses the wood door open.

The team is standing around waiting, knowing they’d be meeting you today and all very excited. When Reid surveys the room over he notes that Garcia must’ve baked as there’s a plate of cookies and cupcakes on the table, there’s also a small basket of toys Jj must’ve brought, and a stack of blankets Morgan definitely brought as they’re the same ones he keeps in his go-bag for any little they run into on a case. It eases Spencer to know that his team put thought into bringing things along to meet you, it’s sweet.

“Hi guys.” You don’t move from your spot tucked into Reid as he greets each member of the team.

They’re cooing and awing at you, it’s making your cheeks flush pink with all the attention. Reid of course notices and that only spurs him on to try and get you to interact with the team. Your head peaks up after the small reassuring murmur Spencer gives you, just low enough that only you can hear him saying everything will be fine. You hadn’t seemed nervous on the ride over or on the walk into the room but Reid suspects having all eyes on you can be a bit intimidating.

“Hi sweetie, it’s nice to meet you.” Garcias grin is wider than wide, her hand is extended as she crouches a bit to be at your eye level. You grip tighter at Spencer’s sweater, tucking your face back into him with red cheeks. It makes the team smile with a couple comments about how cute you are.

“They’re pretty shy, reminds me of when we saw Jj regressed for the first time.” Morgan gets a jab in the side from Jj but the blonde nods, Spencer hopes that tonight goes over with less tears than seeing Jj little for the first time did.

“They’re just attached to Reid, they’ll come around eventually.” Hotch comments and Reid makes an effort not to look down at you as your head turns to look at Aaron. Spencer had expected you to cling around Morgan or Garcia, they’re usually who littles want to go to on cases, but Hotch doesn’t seem to be bothered by your eyes gluing themselves to him.

Conversations start to flow, talks of weekend plans and banter over past jokes, it’s comfortable enough for you to watch the team. Hotch glances at you every now and then, a small smile on his lips each time, and eventually you get sick of only being held by Spencer. You tug on Reid’s sweater before he’s ceasing his chuckling to look down at you, grinning wildly when your arms outstretch towards Hotch.

Aaron takes no time at all to scoop you up and let you latch around him. It’s a different feel than when Spencer holds you. There’s no smell of old books, no knitting of his sweater to lean against and instead your cheek finds Hotchs suit jacket. It’s smooth, obviously well taken care of and ironed out, you like it.

“Guess we know who their favorite is.” Derek grumbles but there’s no real malice in it, only a teasing tone and soft look at you and Hotch.

#jj writes #criminal minds agere #caregiver!spencer #little!reader #spencer reid #spencer x reader

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jarofstyles · 20 days

Text

Sugar, Sugar 13

Hey… sorry it’s been so long angels 😭 here you go!! I hope you missed them as much as I did.

Check out our Patreon for early access and 160+ exclusive writings

Sugar Sugar masterlist

WC- 3.1k

warnings- mentions of disordered eating and bad relationship with food, body issues, fad diet mention, bad relationship with a parent, body shaming, etc

--------

“So, spill. How was it?” Delilah asked as she eyed Y/N.

“How was what?” Playing coy behind the counter, she did the initial cash wrap check as she avoided her best friend’s eyes. She knew exactly what she was talking about.

“Getting railed half to death.” She deadpanned, making Y/N choke on her laughter. “Don’t play games with me, girl. I can see your literal glow.” She paused, her eyes moving south. “And your man has a nasty habit of biting you.” He did. Y/N knew exactly where the hickey was on her collarbone, but her wrap she had on over her lacy tank top usually hid it. She was just careless this morning and didn’t think about it being on display.

“He is quite bad with that, isn’t he?” She snorted, turning to her friend with giddy light in her eyes. “Great. Better than I expected. Made me really comfortable and I spent the whole night and day.. Y’know.” Her face felt hot as she placed the cash into the register before starting up the POS and making sure everything would be right for when the day ended. “I was worried for nothing. The man is kinda unreal, if I’m being honest. I was taken care of in every way. I shouldn’t be surprised considering he’s been really good to me so far.” Brushing her hair over her shoulder, the drawer was closed and she took note of her green tea, picking it up for a sip now that it wouldn’t burn her tongue.

“It’s what you deserve.” Her friend smiled softly. “You deserve a great love like you read about in your books. Besides, I know you’re going to get it. It’s written in the stars.” She was joking, but also… not really. Delilah knew things without knowing how she knew them, and it was almost always true. “Where is he today? Are we expecting a drop in from him?”

“Actually, I don’t know.” Y/N hummed. He hadn’t replied after his initial good morning message but she wasn’t too worried about it. “He said something about stopping by the bakery. He had today off to go run errands so he’ll be dropping things off but I know I’m seeing him tomorrow. We’re going to that new pizza place.” She was excited about that. There was a flatbread she was looking forward to trying, and Harry had suggested getting two different things and splitting it. It was nice to feel comfortable eating with someone. That was one of the anxiety triggers she had to unlearn as she got older.

“I think we’re going to get a drop in.” Taking one of the baskets they used for restocks, she went towards the tumble table and began to deposit the little baggies of colorful stones and minerals into the correct cubbies. “Have you brought up that Claire woman yet?”

Y/N hadn’t, very well for a reason. She didn’t like the feeling it gave her stomach. Somehow, she was well aware she and Harry had been involved. Somehow, someway. It didn’t seem strong, as she obviously couldn’t be that close to him anymore if she’s unable to contact him but… It still wasn’t a good feeling. The woman wasn’t nice, her energy was rancid and muddy, and she obviously looked down on them for believing in their own thing. That was the exact person she tried to avoid. Y/N knew it was perhaps rude to judge solely off of one interaction, but something told her Harry wouldn’t be happy to hear about her coming in.

“Not yet.” She said sheepishly, spooning a bit of yogurt into her mouth. “I know, you don’t have to give me the eyebrow. I’m just… You know how it is. When you know it’s going to cause an issue.” Y/N didn’t think it would be with her but the idea of upsetting Harry at all wasn’t something she enjoyed. Being so new in the relationship, she wanted that honeymoon stage. It had been so lovely this far, she selfishly wanted to avoid the past and the real world from inserting themselves in her rose colored daydream with her dreamy new boyfriend.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t how life worked.

“Putting it off isn’t doing either of you any favors, Cher.” She gave her another look, hanging up a necklace back on the display. “I trust you to handle it on your own time, but do it soon. I have a feeling she isn’t done sniffing around yet.”

—--

“Hey.” A wide smile greeted her as she heard the chime of the bells on the door, seeing the man that had been on her mind. High waisted black pants with a flare at the bottom and a yellow tee shirt, he walked in with his boots clicking on the hardwood floor. Lifting his sunglasses off his face into his fluffy hair, he extended his arms to motion for her to walk into them. She did so without a question. How could she not?

Falling into his warm scent, she nuzzled her face into his neck and allowed herself to be engulfed in him. Something about them felt closer now. More intimate. Maybe she was making it up but a layer had been shed and he felt even more close to her soul. Lips pecked a few times into her hair, swaying her back and forth as her fingers curled into the hair at the nape of his neck, a relieved sigh leaving the man. “Y’alright, Sugar?”

“Mhm.” She nodded against him. “Tired. Spilled my coffee a quarter through but it’s been a bit busy today so we haven’t had the chance to get away. You win some, you lose some.” She’d rather be a little tired and making money, giving readings, all of that.

“Should have texted me.” His tongue clicked, finally getting a good look at her as she pulled out of his neck. Didn’t she realize he’d do almost anything for her? “Would have brought you some over, sweets. What good is having a boyfriend if you’re not gonna use me?” He was joking, but not really. He knew that he’d bend over backwards for the girl in his arms.

“In all honesty, I didn’t even think about it. I knew you were busy today running errands and we had a lot of walk in readings, I’ve been a little busy.” Her fingers ran through his hair again, liking how it felt between them. He always melted like a pup getting pets when she did it too, so it was a win win. “Did you get everything done that you needed?”

“I did.” He moved on swiftly. “Are you sayin’ you didn’t eat?” His brow raised, making her wince. Sometimes she forgot, but it wasn’t on purpose. It was genuine distraction. “Baby…”

“I had a yogurt and granola bar. I was planning on making some food when I got home, but I was busy. Promise.” She tried her luck at a pout which luckily seemed to break down the glare.

“Too bad.” He sighed. “M’gonna run and get you both food. I don’t like this, Sugar.” Large hands cupped her face, making her feel more delicate than she ever had been. Sometimes it felt hard to lean into that femininity of delicacy when she’d been treated as the opposite most of her life, but Harry had her falling into it so easily. “I know you’re a big girl and you can handle yourself, but it’s okay to ask me for help. I want to help you, I want to be a good boyfriend and grab your things when you’re busy. I know you’d do the same for me.” She already had. The girl had given him a whole welcome basket when he opened his own business, for fucks sake.

“I know. It’s…” Feeling slightly guilty now, she rested her hands on his wrists. “It’s a hard habit to break. I’ve been independent for years now and I don’t like to rely on people.” It was always thrown back in her face. “I’ll try harder, H. Promise.” Turning her head, she caught his palm with her lips and pressed kisses to it. That move melted him completely, leaning down to kiss her lips a few times before peeling himself away.

“Good girl. I’ll be back in a bit. Be good for me.”

Y/N hated to see him go, but she loved to watch him leave. Still buzzing from the affection, she jumped as Delilah came out of the back room fanning herself.

“That man is completely gone for you. Lord…” She shook her head. “What a guy. I’m glad he wants to take care of you, Cher. You deserve it.” Her hand squeezed her shoulder as she slipped past her.

“It has nothing to do with the fact he’s getting you lunch too?” She snickered, watching her friend shrug.

“That definitely helps.”

—--

Y/N’s good mood was squashed just 10 minutes later when a familiar face walked through the shop doors, nose wrinkling at the scent of the incense.

God, why now?

“Y/N, I’ve told you that these smoky scents are going to drive away customers.”

Yeah, that was the point. Drive away customers with impure intentions.

“Hi, Mother.” Y/N sighed, feeling her shoulders tighten as she watched the woman come closer into the shop. Her tumultuous relationship with her mother had a lot to do with the fact that Y/N reminded her of her own. They’d been extremely close, sharing their love of the spiritual world, of magic, all the things while her mom had rejected it. Y/N had been easier to bond with for her grandmother and she knew she held resentment over it for years.

She wasn’t an awful person, was the thing. She liked to support her at school, took her shopping for makeup, taught her how to do her hair and tie her shoes. She held her when she was sick, stuck up for her when she got bullied- but she didn’t realize she herself was her daughter’s first and biggest bully.

“Hello. It’s been weeks since you’ve visited me or your father.” She sent her a look. “Are you well? Do you need money? I know the shop is a bit of a hard venture to keep up…”

There it was. Her mother had always hated this shop. Hated what it stood for, what it represented. Y/N never faulted or judged someone for not believing or being connected in the things she was. It was a calling, she truly believed, whether natural or brought on by a life event. But her mother thought it to be a bit of a waste of time. Always expecting her downfall, though she didn’t think she was cruel enough to hope for it.

“No, we’re actually doing incredibly well.” It was the truth. They were making bigger profits than the years before and she was more than glad about that. They’d paid off the loan they took out and now they were working towards a possible expansion. But her mom didn’t want to hear about that. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around. I’ve been a bit busy.”

Her mom gave her a scrutinizing eye, unsure if she believed her. Y/N wasn’t usually a busy person, despite the shop. She liked a slower lifestyle and she knew that, which is why she understood the look on her face. “Have you gone back to the gym like I asked? I haven’t seen you there. I can go with you, you know. I think you’d love my trainer. He’s very dedicated.”

There it was again. Y/N felt her stomach drop, though she should have expected it. Her mother was obsessed with her weight. She’d been the one to try and get her on diets at an early age, effectively ruining her relationship with food. While she knew her mother was someone who cared about her, sometimes she cared about the wrong things a bit too much. Once Y/N had made peace with the fact that she’d always be a bigger girl, her mother had pushed back at it causing more of a rift. She wasn’t going along with her plans and fad diets anymore, and it felt like a personal insult.

“No, no. I’ve been busy with something else, actually.” With Harry. The pretty, driven, thoughtful man that had her tummy in knots and her head in the clouds.

“Well, what? I’ve sent you dozens of recipes. I doubt you’ve tried them though. It looks like you’ve put on a bit of weight in the last few weeks. I thought you were making progress.” Her frown made Y/N’s stomach hurt. She’d resigned herself into knowing she would probably never get her mother’s approval on her body, but the reminders didn’t do much to make her feel good. Accepting it didn’t mean liking it.

“I may have. I’ve been fine, though.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I’ll come by for dinner next week, I promise. I just-”

The door chimed again, interrupting them both. Her stomach dropped as she saw Harry’s smiling face, something that usually would make her erupt into butterflies- but this wasn’t the introduction she wanted to make. Not quite yet.

“I’m back, sorry. There was a line.” He murmured, going behind the desk and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her body flushed as she looked towards her mother, her eyes wide as Harry adjusted her hair for her before setting the food bag and coffee tray on the counter. “Sorry, I’ll step out of the way if you’re helping someone.”

“Who’s this?” Her mother’s interest was immediately evident.

“I’m Harry, Y/N’s boyfriend. Nice t’meet you. What’s your name?” He asked, placing a hand on his girlfriend’s back.

“H, this is my mother.” Y/N swallowed, looking between the two of them. She could see his eyes widen, reaching a hand out for her to shake. He was always so polite, so charming, but she couldn’t help but see the look on her mom’s face.

“You’re her boyfriend?” She asked, brows raised. Her voice sounded in disbelief, looking between the two of them as if something didn’t add up. “I didn’t know she even had a boyfriend.”

Thankfully she’d let him know she hadn’t exactly told her yet so he didn’t seem shocked about that, but the meeting was a little unorthodox.

His brows did furrow at her tone and she could tell he didn’t like it. But for her sake he kept a smile on his face, shaking the woman’s hand lightly. “Yes, I am. M’quite gone for her. You raised an incredible woman, Ma’am.” He spoke earnestly.

“Excuse my shock, I just didn’t realize….” She trailed off, still seeming confused. “Y/N does like her secrets, it seems. You’re very handsome. What do you do?” It was likeher mother to be nosy, sniffing out why exactly the man was around her daughter. Y/N could see that she was suspicious and it hurt her because she knew exactly why she was.

She was making sure he wasn’t using her for another reason. For money or something else, because it was hard for her to believe a man as attractive as him would be with her for pure attraction and chemistry.

“I actually own the bakery across the street.” He said easily. “Thank you for the compliment. She’s an incredible woman, so welcoming and kind. Beautiful to boot.” He meant every word, tapping the tip of her nose. “I don’t want to interrupt, though… I brought the girls lunch.”

“Oh, it’s not trouble. I was coming because my daughter forgets she has a phone.” She shot her a look. “Why don’t you come to dinner next week with her? You’re more than welcome. Her father would be more than happy to meet you.”

“If it’s alright with Y/N, I will.” He nodded, showing his loyalty immediately. Harry wouldn’t do anything that made his girl uncomfortable and he was dedicated to the cause. He was already unsure about the woman, but the next words solidified it for him.

“Alright, whatever you decide. Just make sure she doesn’t have too many sweets from your bakery, hm? It’s starting to show again.” She was joking as if it was funny, patting her daughter’s hand before stepping back. “I hope to see you next week, Harry. Call me, Y/N, we have much to discuss.”

Her mother was swift, walking out the door as quickly as she had come in. As soon as she was gone, the energy calmed and her shoulders fell, groaning low in her throat as she moved to hide her face in Harry’s chest again. He knew better than to talk, instead stroking over her hair as he let her recover from that interaction.

Internally though, his view on her mother was soured. How dare she make a comment to not only her daughter about that, but to him? A man she was dating and obviously really liked her? Did she not realize how awful it was to comment on something like that? Y/N had told him that her relationship with her mother had been a weird one but he hadn’t expected her to say something cruel like that. It didn’t even seem to register that she was being mean, she genuinely seemed to think it was funny.

“I’m sorry about that.” She sighed, pulling back from his chest. “She’s… she’s a lot. I promise she isn’t all bad, but she’s got quirks.” Her face pulled in a slight grimace, making him smile sadly at her as he caressed her warm cheek.

“That wasn’t nice to say, but I have a feeling it isn’t something you want t’unpack in the middle of a work day.” It wasn’t something he felt could be properly discussed out here anyways. “We can talk about it tomorrow, if you want…but I just have to say this one thing.” His head dipped to get closer to hers. “I don’t mind if you gain or lose weight. I don’t care about that at all so long as you’re healthy and comfortable. I’ll never restrict you from eating, never make you feel as though you’re too much. I know you struggle with it, but I’m never going to contribute to that. I’m here to support you.”

His words were genuine, eyes shining as he told her his truth. She could feel it radiating off of him and it made her want to tear up, but he didn’t give her a chance to reply to that before he smacked a kiss to her nose and pulled back to open the paper bag that had been stapled shut. “But now I want you to tell me if I did a good job choosing your meal, please. I did the caramel coffee with oat milk, iced. I remembered that bit.”

Y/N wasn’t sure where the hell Harry had come from, but she was thankful for whoever had sent him. It seemed like she needed him now more than ever.

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ash5monster01 · 6 months

Note

hii!! could you write something for charlie dalton and an insecure reader (they are already dating)? ive been feeling kind of ugly lately😭😭 tysm

I’m so sorry this has taken me so long, I hope everything has been going okay. Insecurities can really suck sometimes, but we just have to remember we’re all beautiful in our own way <3

Perfectly Me

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, self doubt, insecurities, anxiety

Summary: Dating cool and confident Charlie is proven to be hard when most of the time you’re insecure about everything about yourself.

word count: 1.1k

Masterlist

Charlie had always been Charlie. You weren’t entirely sure where he got it from. Somehow after all these years in boarding school he had found a confidence that set him apart from the others. You had never met anyone else that had lived life with their chin so high and smile so wide. He was confident, fun, popular, and you felt everything but. When he had chosen you it was shocking. How could daring and brave Charlie seek out the only girl that kept her head ducked and mouth shut. Yet somehow he did and everyday since you had been questioning why.

Especially on days like today. Days where Charlie’s laugh bellowed loudly through the lunch room as you sat quiet as a mouse beside him. Girls looked on with adoring looks and boys laughed after every sentence that left his mouth. His presence was large, everyone saw him, everyone liked him. It was so intense that as you sat beside the boy you loved you felt more invisible then ever, especially to him. He didn’t see you, there is no way he could have. You were nothing but an inanimate object beside him and you had only ended up in this position from a cruel trick of fate. Not only were you now invisible but humiliated because you couldn’t compare to him. You never could.

When the bell sounds you’re the first out the door. You didn’t want to wait and see if Charlie even acknowledged you, it would hurt too much if he didn’t. You barely went noticed as you left anyway so it would be no surprise if he didn’t notice either. But he did. His proud look turning into one of confusion as he spotted your form rushing away. He had wanted to kiss you, stare into your pretty eyes for a moment longer, but you were gone in the blink of an eye. He wondered why, it almost feeling like you were trying to escape him. This very thought plagued him the rest of the day as he awaited a moment to see you again.

Once classes were over it took him forever to find you. He felt like he had turned Welton upside down in search of you until he finally found you curled up on a window seat in the library. Your eyes were cast downward at the book in your hands, your forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window where you sat. You were so beautiful and his heart yearned deeply for you in that very moment. He wished you didn’t feel so far away. He just wanted you two to be okay. As much as he talked about always having a girlfriend he never thought he’d be lucky enough to have one, especially you.

“Found you” you jump slightly at the sound of his husky voice. He’s lifting your feet and sliding beside you before you can react. He doesn’t make any notion that the window is cold against his back as he finally looks at you.

“I wasn’t hiding” you finally say, a bit nervous in his presence which you hated.

“Felt like it” the sad way he drops his gaze from you makes your heart clench. You hadn’t meant to hurt him but he had unintentionally been hurting you.

“I know” you whisper and Charlie looks up to see the sad expression you wear, one that matched his own.

“Can you tell me why?” he asks and you notice how small he seems here. He isn’t loud and proud Charlie, he’s your boyfriend who’s afraid you’re going to say something that hurts him and even worse you know what you have to say is going too.

“I don’t know why you’re with me Charlie” you say, officially closing your book and giving him your full attention.

“What do you mean?” he asks and you bring your hands to your face, sighing into them before looking up again.

“I’m not like you Charlie. You’re good looking, popular, outgoing. I’m just not” you say, exasperated and tired of not only being insecure about everything else in your life but about this too.

“Yes you are!” and this has you chuckling dryly, so tired of being lied to.

“No Charlie, I know it, you know it, and the rest of these imbeciles do too” you say, arms crossing over you chest and Charlie sighs as he presses a hand to his forehead.

“You are to me” he says calmly and you feel your heart rate accelerate at the confession. Charlie dares a glance at you to see your face flooded with sadness and confusion. He had never meant to make you feel small. “You’re the only girl for me. Maybe you’re not all that outgoing but that’s okay. I need someone who is going to bring me down to earth. I wanted to kiss my girlfriend today before she left after lunch and instead I watched her run away from me. I don’t try to make you feel worthless, I’m just so used to being loud and bold to hide the fact that I’m terrified my life won’t turn out the way I want it to. The only thing I’m sure of is you”

“Is that true?” you ask and Charlie chuckles even though none of this conversation is meant to be funny.

“It’s the most true thing I’ve said all week” he tells you and finally you take a good look at your doe eyed boyfriend. His floppy brown hair hangs in his eyes and the crooked smile on his face is still only ever directed at you. He loves you the way you love him, for all the things neither of you are. So you scoot forward and wrap your arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry I assumed the worst of you” you tell him and he gives you a tight lipped smile that you happily lean forward and kiss.

“I’m sorry I expected too much of you” Charlie apologizes in return and you smile before locking your lips with his own again. Pulling yourself closer to him your book slides from your lap and lands with a loud thud that has you both giggling quietly in the back corner of the library. Charlie doesn’t care about the attention it might’ve brought and kisses you good and hard again.

The best thing about Charlie is no matter how insecure you are, at least he will always be there for you. You balanced each other out and balance was the most important key to life. Balance love, balance work and art, and you shall be free.

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kvtie444 · 6 months

Text

⭒˚｡TOES DOWN

a/n: my grammar is atrocious i’m so sorry😭 BUT YAY MORE VOICE MESSAGES !!!

warnings: sfw, (just about😏)

summary: seeing chris after the breakup, there’s clearly some tension…. pt2????

・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

what the fuck does he want.

i feel my stomach drop as i see his name appear on my screen.

chris is typing… just now

chris sent you a chat just now

i groan, throwing my head back against my pillow before grabbing my phone and unlocking it to read his message.

Is he serious? i mean i expected this sooner or later given our nearly 6 months together ended a week ago, but it's still surprising. I furrow my brows, tapping the screen with my nails as I formulate a reply.

he’s such a dick.

i gather all of his belongings, shoving them into an empty bag. Moving towards my dresser, I grab my perfume and generously spray it over everything, adding an extra grain of salt to the wound.

Entering the bathroom, I have a swift shower before proceeding to apply my makeup and style my hair. I take extra time to ensure that i look extra good; I refuse to let him see me looking anything less than my best. Once ready, I slide into my shoes, grab my bag and keys, and make my way to my car.

While driving, an overwhelming sense of anxiety washes over me, intensifying with each turn that brings me closer to his house. He’s still my ex, and despite my reluctance to admit it,i still have love for him equally as much as hate.

Overthinking consumes me, and as I stop at a red light, my mind drifts into a momentary lapse. He’s probably already likely moved on, merely seeking his things to give to another girl.

The honk of a car behind me jolts me back to reality, the green traffic light signaling my return to focus. Eventually arriving at his house, I turn off the engine and exhale. Glancing at the bag filled with clothes beside me, I take a few calming breaths before opening the car door and grabbing the bag. Approaching his front door, the ring doorbell goes off automatically, i can hear his steps from inside the house getting louder as my heart practically beats out my chest.

he swings the door open, leaving his arm casually perched on top of the doorframe, and leans his head against his arm. shit, he looks good. He's sporting a black tee paired with his chain, plaid pj bottoms, and clearly drenched himself with my favorite cologne, knowing it would drive me crazy. Keep it together y/n. composure.

His eyes roam over my figure, a teasing smirk playing on his lips as our gazes lock. "Took you long enough," he remarks. "Shut up," I roll my eyes. He bites his lip, a playful smile forming before gesturing for me to enter, holding the door open. I walk in through the deliberately narrow space he created, my body brushing past his as he follows behind. Settling on his sofa, I drop my bag beside me.

He leans against the opposite wall, arms crossed. "You look good," he comments. Heat rises to my face, and that familiar fluttering sensation stirs in my stomach. I glance down at the floor. "Look, can I just get my stuff? I've got places to be," I retort.

"Oh?" he chimes, "Where are you going?"

"Meeting a friend," I lie.

"Like a date?" he prods.

"What's it to you?" I snap, meeting his gaze with furrowed eyebrows.

He stares at me, his blue eyes sending sharp glares my way before shifting his gaze to the side, his jawline flexing. fuck. "Your stuff's in my room, just some makeup wipes and shit," he says, looking back at me.

"Is that it? Just throw it away, Chris," I reply. He shrugs his shoulders, then pushes himself off the wall, stepping closer. "Can you do something for me, princess?"

I feel myself grow hotter at the nickname. "Don't call me that," I mumble. He chuckles before continuing, "Can you drop me off at Nate's? I'll pay for the gas." I bite the inside of my cheek, weighing my options. Do I say no and look like the bigger person, or do I entertain this a bit longer?

fuck it.

"Yeah, fine," I sigh, rising from my spot on his sofa. I make my way toward his front door, feeling his eyes burning into my body as he follows behind.

We climb into my car, and he’s quick to grab the vape sitting on my console. I shoot him a look, laughing softly. I start the car, and as I drive, I notice him gripping the back of his seat with his right arm above his head, his head turned to face me, his bicep flexing in the process. Surprisingly, the car ride remains conflict-free. As we stop at a red light, he rests his hand on my thigh, exhaling smoke. I shoot him a look, biting my cheek—a habit I've developed when feeling flustered. Fuck me, could this red light take any longer?

I extend my hand, and he passes me back my vape, our skin brushing against each other, sending sparks through my body. As I inhale, I feel his hand trailing upwards slowly. I keep my eyes on the red light as his other hand reaches over, taking the vape out of my hand, his touch lingering this time. The quiet sound of music from my phone fills the car as I feel his hand grazing the hem of my shorts.

"Chris," I sigh, capturing my bottom lip between my teeth "Hmm?" he replies softly. I remain silent as his hand hovers over the place I need him most.

Finally, the light switches to amber when Chris speaks up, "Pull over."

・₊✧⋆⭒˚｡⋆

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #imagine #angst #chris sturniolo x reader #fluff #matt sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo #smut #Spotify

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little-miss-dilf-lover · 1 year

Note

hiii can I plz request a tangerine x soft/femreader where they’re on a cute date at a nice restaurant and they’re having a great time. Tangerine gets up to go use the restroom and while he’s gone some musty crusty dude who probably looks like a divorced Librarian walks up to reader and harasses her. Reader doesn’t know what to do since she’s more of the quiet and shy type and then tangerine (who is fuming when he sees some Walmart wearing dude yelling at his girlfriend) punches him and starts a fight. Meanwhile the reader trying to stop it cause her anxiety can’t take any more of this when the crusty dude accidentally ends up punching reader. Now she’s basically crying and tangerine quickly stops throwing hands and gets her out of there. (Obviously he’s gonna kill that guy some other time but yk he’s an amazing boyfriend so) then they get home, tangerine apologizes and takes care of reader, and she ends up falling asleep while cuddling w/ him.! Although tangerine is loving this moment they’re sharing, he can’t stop thinking about just how much pain he’s gonna inflict on the crusty dude. Sorry for this being so long and thanks! 😅

hii!! the way you described it made me giggle😭 i love stuff like this. thank you for requesting, hope you like it 💌

uncomfortable encounter

tangerine x f reader

wc: 1.2k

warnings: reader gets hits and hit on, little bit of violence- just him being protective for his girl

a/n: this was in my drafts, im not back from my break just yet. I just felt bad and wanted to give you all something

masterlist + rules

taglist

Every couple of weeks, Tangerine would take you out on a cute little date of your choice. He’d do the whole get-up; dressing up nice, buying you flowers, opening your door, anything to make you feel like a princess. He would always be chivalrous but during your dates, he’d go the extra mile to show you how much he loved and appreciated you.

For this date you had decided on a quaint pub by the river, specifically choosing it for its calm and serenity that Tangerine desperately needed after his week at work. Enjoying each other’s company as you both indulged on your dessert, chatting and sharing playful remarks throughout the entirety of the evening.

Everything was all flowing perfectly, you were gossiping about your job while you finished your drinks, both occasionally gazing out at the swan-filled stream that your table was overlooking.

He places down his glass and picks up your hand, pecking a sweet kiss on the back of it before excusing himself to the toilets. “I’ll be right back.”

“No problem.” You smile, taking another sip from your drink as you watch him walk away.

Turning your attention to the bay window, looking out at the view, your eyes darting as they watch over the birds and wildlife.

“That was quick.” You grin, turning around when you feel a presence behind you. “I’m sorry— I thought you were someone else.” You wryly smile as you apologised to the stranger.

“No problem, sweet cheeks.” He grins, causing a shudder-like feeling over your whole body. “Feeling lonely?”

You didn’t enjoy talking, especially if it was to a stranger that made you feel wildly uncomfortable. You didn’t really know how to respond, just awkwardly smiling as you try to distract yourself by playing with your straw.

“You not like me or something? … that’s not what your lips are telling me.” Nodding down to your mouth, noticing the way you were biting the bottom lip. You weren’t biting them provocatively, it was just something you did when you were anxious, harmlessly chewing on your bottom lip to deter you from thinking about your nerves.

“You’re cute.” He smirks, brushing over his greasy hair. “Let me buy you a drink, and maybe the more you drink… the more you might wanna come home with me.” Stroking over the sleeves of your upper arm, staring down at you.

Flinching at his uncalled touch, waiting impatiently for your boyfriend to return.

The man trails his dirty hands over the fabric, breathing heavily with his mouth open, itching his stubby fingers lower.

You felt stuck, it was as if you were paralysed in fear. When you hear the familiar voice of Tangerine yell “Oi” from across the pub, it felt like you could finally breathe again. “What the fuck you doing?” He grits, yanking on the back of the man’s collar to pull him away.

“Hey, man. Nothing. She was practically begging for it.” He groans, stroking his throat.

“Excuse me?” Tangerine grimaces, his eyes displaying nothing but fury as he looked at the man. “What did you just say?” His words were slow and taunting.

“Nothing— nothing.” He stammers, trying to back away.

You knew where this was heading, you’d seen this a dozen times before. You could tell by your boyfriend’s furrowed brows and contorted face that he was about to do something. Something aggressive.

“Say it again.” He whispers, his demeanour nothing but cold and rigid. “Go on.” Provoking him as he tightens his grip on the man’s t-shirt.

“N—no.” Shaking his head, looking at you with hateful eyes.

He grips the man’s face, holding his cheeks tight as he forces his gaze away from you. “And why’s that?”

“What you gonna do? Huh? Cause a bigger scene? We’re in a pub for fucks sake.” He snarks, his features suddenly shift and grow taunting.

Tangerine takes the bait and lands a firm solid punch to the side of the man’s face. Hitting him repeatedly until the man stumbles back, flailing his erratic arms as he landed unsuccessful strikes on your boyfriend.

“Hey.” You say softly, looking nervously around the room. Eyes dart between the two in fear as you make a step towards them, speaking a little louder than before. “Come on, that’s enough.”

The man momentarily sends a scowl your way before wavering a wide lunge that accidentally catches you across the cheek in the process. Tangerine immediately drops the man to the floor and rushes to your side, his hands now tender and soft as he cups your jaw. His worried eyes searching your face, honing in on your tear-filled eyes.

“I’m so sorry… are you okay? Are you hurt?” He questions, his tone scared and rushed.

Nodding with uncertainty, he carefully takes your hand, holding it in his as he leads you away from the man on the floor. He picks up your bag in his spare hand as he leads you out of the pub, guiding you through the crowd of people that were circling around.

“I shouldn’t have done that…“ he says regretfully, searching your face. “I’m so sorry.” Smiling painfully as he wipes his thumbs under your eyes, delicately swiping away your tears. “How bad does it hurt?”

“I’m fine.” You lie, burying your face in his chest. Hugging him tight.

He sighs, resting his chin on the top of your head as he wraps his arms tighter around you, comfortingly stroking your back as you stood under the fairy lights of the smoking area. “People are coming… let’s get you home.” He says softly, slowly separating from your embrace.

Nodding your head as you sniffled, allowing him to take your hand and lead you to his car.

The journey home was pretty quiet, with occasional sniffles and ‘you okay?’ diluting the silence. Spending the majority of the way home with your eyes glued to the floor of the car.

Once you get back home, he immediately sets you atop the kitchen counter, standing between your legs as he gently holds a bag of frozen peas to the sore parts of your face. His free hand carefully stroking over the other side of your face.

After a little while, the swelling starts to go down, so he changes you into his hoodie and pyjama bottoms that he was warming up on the radiator for you. Dressing you before carrying you into the living room and laying you down on the sofa.

He returns shortly after with two teas, a pack of biscuits and your favourite blanket. Snuggling beside you as he cocoons your head in his bicep, holding you close while he flicks through the channels on the tv. He glances down at you, watching your eyes flutter while they attempt to stay open.

He knew he should be enjoying this quiet moment with you, but once he notices the growing red patch on your face that was lit up from the tv, he couldn’t help but plan exactly how he was going to get this man to pay. It wasn’t solely the fact that another man touched you, hit you even. It was because of how uncomfortable and uneasy he made you, how strained your features were when the man looked at you. How frightened this man made you feel.

Tangerine would do anything for you, he’d kill for you. And that’s exactly what he was planning to do.

@tangerinesgf @kpopgirlbtssvt @ch3rries-n-cream @earth-elemental18 @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @idontknowwhattohaveasmyuser @thewinterv @navs-bhat @ilovetangerinewithallmyheart @theredvelvetbitch @randomawesomeperson102 @lov3lypeaches7 @princess-pebbles-things

#tangerine #tangerine x reader #tangerine x you #tangerine x fem!reader #tangerine x y/n #lemon and tangerine #tangerine fanfiction #tangerine angst #tangerine imagine #tangerine blurb #bullet train tangerine #tangerine and lemon #tangerine bullet train

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chrollohearttags · 1 year

Note

omg musician dad eren trying to keep up with his daughters while y/n is away on business for a week!?!!!

oh my goodness, the absolute CHAOS that would ensue in that household..😭

after giving birth to beautiful twin girls, (y/n) is ready to bounce back into the work scene. Taking on modeling jobs, doing brand deals and take a step away from motherhood for a moment after being out of the game for nearly two years. That’s when you get an offer for a gig out of state for a week and although your separation anxiety is going to eat you up, you have no doubt that your loving husband eren will be able to handle them on his lonesome for those seven days. You leave him instructions, lay all of their necessary things out and even cooks for all of them before you go. To which he’s offended by because he can totallyyyy do this…or so he claims! “You’re worrying for nothing, princess. Me and the little ladies will be just fine. You go handle your business and we’ll be here when you get back.” So you trust that he’ll be fine and off you go. However, he soon realizes that you have a full time job on top of your career and it’s not easy. You hadn’t even boarded the jet good before they’re dashing around the house with the energy of two Tasmanian devils. Playing, laughing and getting into all sorts of shenanigans. “Erionna, Emani..get down! I’m not saying it again..” trying to sound all authoritarian, knowing he don’t run a damn thing in that household! They are giving him the BUSINESS. he’s got eyes in the back of his head, trying to get them under control but they are too much. Getting any work done? He can forget it. When you were home, he was able to pump out at least three instrumentals or new projects for an artist. Now, he’s lucky to finish one in a day. These girls have him on his toes. “Daddy, come play tea party with me.” “No, daddy’s coming to eat with me.” Arguing over their imaginary play sets and tugging him between the two! So now this six foot four man is crunched up in a tiny chair being forced to eat plastic chicken and peas. And sip tea with a stuffed animal named Mr. Buttons. His boys come over, thinking they’re gonna have a recording session and he’s answering the door looking just like a mother; bandana tying his hair back, apron on with a pot in hand and the little ones on his legs. “Sorry y’all, we gotta push this back. (Y/N)’s gone for the week.” Of course, they all stick around because they can’t resist the opportunity to make it harder for him and set these girls up to more antics. “Uncle Connie’s gonna teach you girls how to make bottle rockets.” But Uncle Armin’s messy ass has done him one better and snuck them some candy while he’s trying to cook dinner.

Now they’re bouncing off the walls and Eren doesn’t know what to do. It’s as he’s stirring their Mac and cheese that he gets a FaceTime from his beloved to check in and there’s yelling in the back. “How’s everything going, papa? Are you okay?” Your sweet tone and pretty face making it hard for him to tell you that things are insane. So he lies and tells you it’s all under control! “Everything’s fine, princess. We got this.” But alas, he finally gets them fed, bathed and squared away for the night with a total of three hours of sleep to spare before he has to get up and do it all over again. He has to do the girls’ hair, get them dressed and he’s in over his head! Luckily, Auntie Mikasa drops in and takes things into her own hands. As a new mom herself, sis is practically a pro at this, just like everything else she does. “(Y/N) asked me to come check on you because she had the sneaking suspicion that you were a wreck and she was right. You better not have my nieces looking a mess.” He wants to be offended but at this point, he just appreciates the help. She shows him how to do their hair the same way (y/n) does it, helps him get things cleaned up and by the time you call back that night, he’s acting all confident and cocky because the house finally has some order and he pretends it’s all his doing. “See, told you I knew what I was doing.”

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soleilnomoon · 1 year

Note

Hiiii! :D <3 I owe you another event request that I announced.. sitting at work, yet another late evening, and dreaming of some Ace goodness. So may I ask for an ice cream sundae, donut hole, oatmeal raisin cookie, affogato and toffee? With female reader? :D If possible with the one serving the ice cream sundae being the reader? I need lotssss of caramel and whipped cream to get me through the week! Thank you so much!!!! <3

i can’t believe it took me so long, i’m so so sorry, but!!! it’s finally here *sobs continuously* so sorry bb that i took forever, but i only like to give you guys quality writing (esp with ace, i love him) so forgive me pls thank u & ily 😭💛🥺️

3.3k words, fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; only a tiny bit of angst (yay), fluff!!!! and smut!!! ace needs to do better, and reader isn't as slick as she thinks she is (but lbr, when is reader ever slick). friends 2 lovers (surprise, surprise i know who am i), feat. v cute things like oral (m receiving), oral (f receiving), a lil roughplay but nothing crazy, a lil dry humping, idk other stuff probably idr anymore ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა but i had fun writing even tho the fluff almost killed me but for u i persevered! (if u see spelling/grammar errors no u didn’t <;3)

“look how we bleed from all this wanting” — ama asantewa diaka

unease is something you’re well-acquainted with — a painful, yet comforting, reminder of things that may or may not come. its slender vines wrap meticulously around each bone in your rib cage, lying in wait as your heart beats faster. it’s a pathetic, melancholic melody; a lullaby you can never escape. anxiety pours into you slowly — poisonous and haunting, tainting the lush, untamed garden that’s grown deep inside of you; one you’ve painstakingly tended to for most of your life, where your childhood dreams remain dormant, where your fears slither around in the thick vegetation ready to strike when given the chance. everything becomes fuzzy and unbearable, but you somehow manage to inhale several large gulps of air before continuing.

it’s not easy keeping secrets, but you do it anyway. for him — only for him. today’s no different, as this is one secret you’re more than happy to keep to yourself.

contrary to popular belief, ace is much more particular about certain things than he lets on. for whatever reason, he’s adamant on keeping his birthday hidden from his crew mates — something you don’t quite understand, but respect, nonetheless. he says it’s because he doesn’t want the fuss and awkward fanfare of celebrating, but you know there’s another reason — one possibly drenched in tragedy and grief, so you refrain from asking again.

instead, you decide to celebrate with him in private; you’re best friends, after all. and after a few months of prodding, he finally concedes, giving you free reign to do as you please. a man like ace isn’t simple to shop for; you stress over his birthday gift for weeks, desperately wanting to find something unique — something that no one else would think to give him. it keeps you up for several nights in a row, where torn pieces of paper with scratched out ideas litter the floor in your room. at a certain point you scream into your pillow, desperate to get all your frustrations out before going back to sift through your failed gift ideas.

you pass out in the middle of ranting to yourself about your own incompetence, and the idea comes to you in a dream. when you wake up the next morning, you’re a little nervous but you’re sure this might be the one gift he wasn’t expecting — the one gift that he’ll appreciate and possibly cherish.

the thought of that only serves to rattle the tiny box of nerves that sits in the middle of your stomach — the lid barely attached; the contents ready to spill at the next inconvenience that comes your way.

ace intentionally kept vague about what he wanted as a gift; he hates the idea of people scrambling around trying to surprise him, and instead keeps his expectations low. life, it seems, has helped him learn that lesson time and time again; it’s better, in his opinion, to snuff out any residual hope — the one that lingers behind all the disappointment that tends to follow him around — before it’s too late.

still, he’s curious to see what you’ve been working so tirelessly on. you’ve kept quiet about everything, and no matter how many times he tries to pry the answers out of you, you remain steadfast and keep the secret to yourself.

he's impressed, to say the least, and a flicker of excitement courses through him as he spends the morning of his birthday obnoxiously guessing what your surprise gift is. you wave him off, tell him to stop pestering you, but he doesn’t let up. there were times when you almost told him, but he has to hand it to you — you’re incredibly determined and stubborn.

you convince him to come off of the ship with you and explore the main town of the island your crew is visiting. he knows you’re not that interested in exploring, that you’re doing all of this to distract him; he smiles to himself in secret, away from your curious and trusting eyes, unable to come to terms with the warmth that’s taken hold of his chest, pitifully churning his insides around. if he had more sense, he’d realize it’s his nerves that have gotten the best of him; but that’s ridiculous, what would he have to be nervous about?

especially on his birthday?

while he thinks he’s being stealthy by trying to hide his emotions, you catch him several times; you don’t say much about it, instead wanting ace to fully enjoy himself unrestricted. you admire the shape of his jaw when he excitedly looks around, nearly trip when you notice how sunlight drapes itself along his freckled, light brown skin, and choke on your drink when he glances over at you. the corners of his lips quirk upward, and a small, devastating, dimpled smile crawls onto his face.

you’re rarely rendered speechless, but your inability to function properly causes you to let go of the cup in your hand — not that it matters, really. you don’t even care that the drink splashes near your sandaled feet, nor do you notice the way ace’s brows furrow together at your sudden clumsiness. a frown works its way onto his lips while you stand there stupidly, trying to remember what it is you’re supposed to be doing.

he tilts his head and briefly wonders if maybe the heat has gotten to you — you’re usually much more with it, but today you’re quieter and spaced out. when he opens his mouth to ask if you’re okay, you simply step over the fallen drink and keep walking down the street. something about your insistence on ignoring your recent faux pas makes him laugh out loud; he doesn’t mean to, but it’s just so damn funny to him.

and while you could be mad at him for the way he can’t seem to stop laughing at you, you know that the small bout of annoyance will fizzle out shortly. you can never actually stay mad at him, even if you tried — and yes, you have tried and failed several times over.

ace eventually catches up to you and that familiar teasing grin stretches lazily along his lips as he playfully grabs your arm and pulls you towards him. you steel your features as best as you can and narrow your eyes at him; the residual embarrassment from earlier lingers obnoxiously, making you stumble over your words.

or, that’s what you tell yourself, anyway.

because if he knew that it was because it’s become increasingly difficult to be around him for extended periods of time, then you’d never hear the end of it.

the problem is: ace already knows, and has known for quite some time. he never brought it up, because then you’d find a reason to keep yourself busy and stay away from him intentionally. he’s selfish and will continue to monopolize your time however way he can, especially today. you’ve never had an issue with ace touching you before, but for some reason his skin is warmer than normal — or maybe it’s because you’re still too nervous about the gift. you know that he’ll like and appreciate anything you give him, which is why you let out a soft sigh and rummage through your purse to shove a small piece of paper into his hand.

“i wanted to wait until we got back to the ship,” you say quietly, tongue suddenly much too big for your mouth; you try pulling away from him, but ace’s grip is firm, and you’re not trying that hard anyway. “but, um… happy birthday!”

he watches you curiously before glancing down at the paper in his hand; in a cute, neat script, you’ve written: birthday coupon (1 use only). and before he can ask anything unnecessary, you explain quickly, words tumbling out of your mouth in a rush.

“basically, you have my services for exactly twenty-four hours only.”

and, as ace is constantly in a state of perpetual confusion, he glances back at you to see if this is a joke or not.

“really?”

he wants to believe you, but he also knows that you’d never actually let him have his way for a day — or, would you? now he isn’t so sure.

your usual bravado leaves you faster than you can handle, so you nod a few times and finally manage to free yourself from his hold. after giving yourself a bit of space, you realize that you can think clearly now that he isn’t so close to you.

“yes,” you say lightly, hoping that he’ll buy your false confidence as legitimate. “whatever you want me to do, i’ll do. no questions asked.” you know you’re treading dangerously, but this was the best idea you could come up with. unease finds you again when ace remains quiet — a feat for him, as he’s usually boisterous and vocal about everything — but all of that doubt dissipates when a small, sly smile appears on his face as he pockets the coupon and beckons you closer.

“thanks, let’s go.”

you don’t bother asking where, because ace has already grabbed your hand and tugs you along with him. you want to tell him that he doesn’t have to hold onto your hand like that, but you decide that you deserve a bit of selfishness too. the day passes fairly quickly — you end up eating at several places with him, purchase enough sweets to put you into a sugar-induced coma, and laugh so hard you end up in tears.

he likes seeing this side of you, the part that’s carefree and full of energy; he admires how smooth and soft your skin is and thinks it’s impossibly cute that you can’t stop sneaking glances at him. you’re not as inconspicuous as you think you are, but ace doesn’t tease you about it. already he’s had you do silly things like balance on one leg like a flamingo in the middle of the shopping plaza and cartwheel as long as you can down to the pier — the latter was him testing the waters to see if you’d really do it, but you rise to the challenge and only fall over twice.

embarrassment be damned, as long as ace is happy today that’s all that matters.

when you make it back to the ship, the sun has set, bathing the ocean and sky with a pretty mixture of bright colors. you take a moment to lean against the railing to watch the sky, mesmerized by the artistry, while ace watches you and contemplates how best to proceed with you. he’s normally much better at hiding his desire and attraction, but today he’s at his limit. he doesn’t bother looking away when you feel his gaze on you; it’s always intense, having ace’s undivided attention — and while a small voice tells you that it’s dangerous to let this tension build to a frenzied state, a much bigger voice tells you to just let go and embrace whatever happens.

it's ace who grabs your arm and tugs you with him to his cabin, locking the door behind so that no one would interrupt; and it’s ace who plucks the coupon out of his pocket again, playfully waving it around as your brain scrambles as you try to guess what he’ll request next. it should alarm you that your excitement starts to build all over again when ace plops down lazily in a nearby chair, legs spread; something compels you to move closer and before you can say anything remotely foolish, ace pulls you onto his lap.

you tell yourself that it’s purely for the sake of ensuring he has a memorable birthday, but the truth won’t let you off that easily — not when you shamelessly straddle him as your skirt rides up your thighs; not when you thread your fingers through his hair and tugging on it impatiently; and not when you softly press your lips against his and mumble something along the lines of, “hurry up and ask.”

it’s refreshing seeing you take initiative like that, so ace tosses the coupon onto the floor unceremoniously before gripping your hips firmly. that warmth from earlier comes back in full force, and suddenly you’re wondering why the both of you are still dressed. he doesn’t hesitate when he runs his tongue along your lips, and you, in response, roll your hips forward and grind down hard against his stiff cock. a dangerous game, you know — you know — but you can’t help yourself; not today, anyway.

it's you who kisses him first — clumsy and rash, but after a moment, your lips move against his with more certainty; he guides you with his tongue, heat shooting up your spine, making you pliant and eager. each time he kisses you, you have to remind yourself that it’s not another dream, that it’s actually happening. and even if, after all of this, you both go back to pretending you’re just friends, you’re sure you’ll be fine.

maybe.

you don’t dwell on that thought though, and focus on the way ace keeps rubbing his hands along your thighs — slow and tortuous, the callouses on his hands rough, but welcomed on your skin. you’re panting and whining softly, the heat radiating off his body stifling, but also addicting. he’s not sure how much longer he can hold back, and you somehow get the hint when he bucks his hips against yours, your panties already damp with arousal every time your pussy rubs against his cock.

there’s a slightly dazed look in his eyes when you managed to climb off of him without your legs giving out, and it’s his own selfishness that drives him to watch you as you take off your clothes without prompting. is it adrenaline, lust, or the intoxicating effects of ace’s presence that has you in between his legs and on your knees. when he realizes what you’re about to do, he opens his mouth to tell you that it’s not necessary, but his argument dies in his mouth and fizzles out completely when you unzip his shorts and pull out his cock.

ace inhales sharply as a warm breeze slips in from the open window and tangles itself around both of you; and, although the moon hides sleepily behind a few clouds, some of its light filters through, giving you an ethereal glow as you run your tongue along the length of his cock before wrapping your lips around the tip. it’s not often that ace finds himself powerless in front of someone, but you’ve rendered him weak beyond comprehension. you suck and swirl your tongue around, dragging it along his slit and licking off the precum that leaked out.

it invigorates you — watching him through your lashes as your hands wrap around the rest of his length, twisting and pumping mercilessly, every stifled moan giving you the encouragement to keep going. you inadvertently rub your thighs together, pussy slick with your wetness, but, surprisingly, you don’t feel ashamed about it — not when you take more of ace’s cock into your mouth, relaxing your jaw and letting him have free reign for a bit. ace juts his hips forward, feeling only a tiny bit remorseful when he sees you gag, but the determined look in your eyes tells him that you refuse to back down.

when you feel like you can’t breathe, you lick down his length and massage his balls, earning a string of unintended, slightly incoherent curse words from ace under his breath. it’s a sensitive area — and, try as he might, he can’t help but moan your name out loud, his breathing growing unsteady, making you all the more delirious and obsessed. your teeth accidentally grazes his skin and he tugs on your hair more forcefully than he means to, startling you but not for the reasons it should.

his voice is low and gruff when he speaks again. “y/n… behave.” which is all he really needs to say, because while it was an accident, something forbidden swirls around your lower abdomen, making you bold and somewhat reckless. before he can say anything else, you suck on his balls, melting his resolve and small bout of annoyance.

he wants to ask if you’re trying to kill him, but he partially knows the answer to that already. goosebumps prick his skin as you look at him equal parts mischievous and full of adoration. he’s not sure why, but he likes that he’s only ever seen you look at him like that.it makes all of this that much more intense, and he knows that after tonight he can’t go back to being just friends with you.

it’d be impossible.

you take his cock back into your mouth again, bobbing up and down, his girth still a challenge, but you take it in stride anyway. and its when you suck on his sensitive tip again that ace’s restraint finally gives out; you feel him jerk underneath you, and his cum is thick and hot as it spills into your mouth. he half expects you to spit it out, and even through that post-orgasm haze, he’s amazed when you swallow it all.

with his face flushed — from the force of the orgasm, from how he can’t seem to keep his eyes off of you, especially after you lick some of his cum off of your lips — ace runs a hand through his hair before standing up and pulling you to your feet. he kisses you again, sloppy, yet domineering; your hands work on tugging the rest of his clothes off quickly, and it doesn’t take long before he has you on your back thighs clamped around his head as he devours your pussy.

nothing can compare to the high you feel right now, hips rolling forward, shamelessly tugging on his hair roughly, moaning his name louder than you mean to. anyone passing by can hear you, the walls are thin enough, but you don’t care now. his tongue glides along your slit, your arousal spilling onto his tongue before he flicks it against your clit.

something about the way he’s handling you — as if you’re able to take whatever aggression he tosses your way, especially when he slides his fingers inside of your pussy, finger-fucking and enjoying how you’re falling apart underneath him — makes you that much more reactive to him. and when he sucks on your clit — merciless, just like you were being with him a short while ago — you don’t hold back.

your cries are music to his ears, and he knows he should tell you to keep it down, but he also likes how loud you’re being. almost as if he wants other people to hear that he’s the one making you writhe around on his bed like that. the orgasm is sudden, brutal, and life changing; a blinding light practically incapacitating you, momentarily robbing you of your vision. your chest heaves as you try to gather your thoughts; a lightheaded feeling takes over, making you shiver, your sweet whining only makes him want to keep torturing you with his tongue.

but he refrains, for now.

after pulling back, you both look at each other for a moment before you pull him down for another kiss — this one tender, sweet, and slow. ace lets himself fall further under your spell, not wanting to ask if you complied with his selfish whims because you wanted to or because of his birthday coupon. and if he did ask, you know, deep down, that you’d tell him it’s very obviously the former — that it wasn’t only his selfish whim, that you were equally to blame for letting things escalate like this. not that it matters much right now, since all you can think about, is how you don’t plan on leaving his bed for the rest of the night. and how you know you’ll be plenty sore once he’s done with you later on.

#*sobs into hands*#i have so many more to do but don't worry i'm working on them <3 #fic request #500+ followers event #milestone event #🍭✨🍨sticky & sweet event🧁✨🍭#one piece fluff #one piece smut #one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #portgas d. ace #portgas d. ace x reader #portgas d. ace smut #ace x reader #ace x y/n #ace smut #ace fluff #one piece imagine #one down... 1493984 left

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sharkboywrites · 6 months

Note

I’m horrible at asking for requests so let me know if you need clarification for anything (or you know you can delete this lol)

May I ask for Steven from Pokémon with a shy/reserved reader (preferably trans ftm, but it’s fine if you don’t want to) who likes to make art of Pokémon for others can readers partner Pokémon be Houndoom?

Can be romantic or platonic whatever you’re comfortable with I’m sorry I’m very vague with this stuff 😭he’s just my comfort character I just have a hard time expressing my thoughts into words sorry

Steven Stone With a Shy/Reserved Reader

A/N: Hi, thank you for requesting, I like Steven but I've never really looked into his character. i think what I know about him should be enough though, and if it isn't I'm sorry

Ftm reader, reader has issues with things like anxiety and depression, can be read as platonic or romantic (although may lean to romantic)

Steven is a bit of a hard person to keep up with, especially when you're on the quieter and more reserved side

he's ambitious and follows what his heart tells him to do, even though it may lead to him running all over the place or getting into trouble sometimes

He juggles being a champion, but also wanting to research rocks and Pokémon, while also still having the thrill for battle even when he says he's taking a break

When you sign up for spending time with him, you should know that you're guaranteed for some type of fun, whether that's doing things around the city, adventuring, or finding something interesting to do around home

This doesn't mean he isn't attentive though

in fact, how you're doing is really important to him and he always makes sure to check in every once in a while

He always has things on him that you may need in case anything goes wrong like water or something to fidget with

When you first opened up to him about your issues with anxiety, depression, and other things, he was very understanding

While he can't understand everything you go through, he always wants to be helpful and let's you know that he's always there

If you're ever having a bad day, he'll come and visit you

It's like he can always tell when something is wrong

If you're having issues with anxiety, he'll do his best to reassure you if it's a specific problem, but if it's general, unexplainable anxiety, he'll try to distract you

if it's depression, he does everything in his power to comfort you

Some hugs, words of affirmation, a warm drink, and a good show to watch are his go to's

He'll always make it a point to tell you just how important you are to him and that he wants you around

if it's a dysphoria day, once again he's doing everything in his power to reassure you

He'll tell you how much of a strong man he thinks you are, how much he admires you, and how much you mean to him

After that, it's a day where he just spends time with you

He'll cuddle you if you want, but if you don't want to be touched, he understands

He may even give you one of his own shirts or hoodies if you want

He likes seeing how helpful it is to you and he won't be lacking any compliments

While Steven can be a bit much at times, he really is a sweet person that just wants to spend time with you, and most importantly make sure you're okay

I had a lot of fun writing this and I'm thinking about writing some more personal works (aka not requests) after this. Ty for reading and have a nice day <3

#sharkboywrites #male reader #mlm #mlm blog #ftm reader #transmasc reader #trans reader #pokemon x reader #pokemon x male reader #pokemon x trans reader #steven stone x reader #steven stone x male reader

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wrathofrats · 5 months

Note

I NEED MORE ERA 3 GHOUL CONTENT 😭 PLEASE MORE IM BEGGING PLEASSSSSSEEEEE

Again yall are opening a box that I cannot contain. I’ve been rambling about old ghouls to @divine-misfortune for months.

Here’s some of the headcanons we’ve come up with. Please enjoy

Also I’m counting era 3 ghouls as pebble, ivy, cowbell, mist, zephyr, ifrit and delta! But delta will not be mentioned here for reasons (the reasons are I am having a lot of fun with him and will post about him later). And I know I talk a lot about Zeph and ifrit on here so I’ll put a bit less of them.

Cut for length bc ohhh im going to ramble

Pebble:

- very punk inspired for looks. I think he has a lot of piercings and that kind of mentality. He’s a rebel (also a shithead but like in the most positive way)

- his favorite hobby is fucking with alpha. He’s just so easy to anger. It’s all stupid pranks and comments, harmless but they argue a lot.

- he smokes weed in the vents with cowbell

- extremely soft for ivy. Also very possessive but it’s ok they’re in love your honor.

Ivy:

- shy, nerd type, he looks like a dork im sorry. He has anxiety just a bit for character

- pebble is his emotional support mean person

- he’s so sweet. Genuinely just here to be nice to others and vibe

- terrible pain tolerance. He’s a bit of a baby but I love him so much (pebble coddles him beyond belief)

- touchy, enjoys physical contact

Mist:

- short hair, rbf, she runs the place like the navy when she’s left in charge

- snarky, very well respected, very “leave me alone” type a fair amount of the time

- enjoys messing with the other ghouls w pebble. They’re besties I don’t make the rules

- very much dews mentor when he’s first summoned

- she’s my mean lesbian stereotype back off I’m in love with her

Cowbell

- oh he’s kinda fucking strange

- like he looks off putting. He came out wrong (I love him)

- enjoys being creepy. He likes scaring the other ghouls by looking fucking strange

- fire and air specialized multi ghoul

- he knows everything about everyone

Zephyr:

- disabled and chronically ill (he’s my emotional support Barbie and I’ll give them all the illnesses I want)

- he/they or they/them it depends on the day

- mean, cranky old man (with so much love)

- obviously they’re in love with ifrit and would do anything for him that’s his himbo everyone else back off

- he has a sick ass cane that og earth widdled them to help with the joint pain

Ifrit:

- he’s so beefy and stupid

- he’s so fucking sweet though. Like he is THE himbo

- carries Zeph around bc he would do anything for them

I’m leaving this here but phhhhhh pls ask me about the old ghouls and these guys PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT THEM ALL MORE IM DYING TO TALK ABOUT THEM

#the band ghost #ghost #nameless ghouls #ghost bc #wrath writes #ifrit ghoul #zephyr ghoul #pebble ghoul #ivy ghoul #cowbell ghoul #mist ghoulette #wrath asks #wrath’s ghost lore

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lambertdiary · 7 months

Note

Hey love your fanfics and I would like to request where the lipstick demon trapped x reader im the other world and dalton has to astrol project to save us and him at the end ends up being possessed. This could be a two part so the second part x reader saving him ☺️ I really hope this all makes so me and thank you again. 🥰😘☺️

A/N: So I’m not gonna lie, I’ve had this request for nearly TWO MONTHS 😭 I’m so sorry it took this long to write but honestly I never really know how to write possessed Dalton, it literally takes forever but hopefully you’re still around to read it!! I really hope you like it so please let me know what you think 🫶🏻 (It’s kind of long so maybe that’ll make up for not being as active lately?)

Word Count: 4.3k+

Warnings: established relationship, possessed Dalton, anxiety, the further, insidious: the red door spoilers

MASTELIST ‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎‎✩ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎SEND ME A REQUEST

I’m Not Going Anywhere

After the harrowing events that unfolded in Dalton's life, things seemed to have settled down. It had been exactly three months since he closed the Red Door and from that moment everything was better, including his ability to get a full night of sleep. That didn’t stop Y/N from making sure he was doing okay, constantly asking how he was and paying close attention to him, especially to how much rest he was getting, the slightest sign of tiredness making her worry all over again.

Truth is the darkness wasn’t messing with Dalton anymore, so if he was tired or didn’t sleep properly the night prior it had everything to do with schoolwork or his girlfriend and nothing to do with The Further. That was until he started to feel like there were eyes on him at all times, even when he was all alone. It was like someone (or something) was watching him and controlling his every move, waiting for him to make the tiniest mistake. But he would never let anyone know, not this time. The last thing he wanted was for Y/N to get worried, knowing how bad things were last time he didn’t want to put her through that again.

Almost immediately after he noticed he was being watched he started having these weird dreams he used to have when he was a kid, they weren’t just nightmares and they weren’t apparitions like the ones he had a few months ago, they were more like a soul-roaming experiences and he couldn’t tell if he was drifting off somewhere else or if he was still in his bed. When all of these things started happening his instincts told him that the nightmare he thought he had escaped was about to resurface, and he had a bad feeling regarding the Red Door, but he was praying he was wrong.

⋆ ★ ⋆ ★

Y/N was standing by the window, her eyes focused on the clouded sky getting darker by the minute. It looked like it would start raining soon so she thought she should get going before it was too late.

A yawn behind her caught her attention, she turned around and spotted Dalton laying in his bed with his hands behind his head, admiring the sight of her slowly approaching him “Tired yet?”

“Just a little bit” He was smiling softly but that didn’t hide the tired expression written on his face.

She sat next to him on the bed, Dalton sitting up to face her “What’s going on? Talk to me”

Dalton knew that tone, she was worried so he needed to give her a believable excuse “I’m behind on that art project I told you about so I’ve been trying to catch up this week”

Y/N nodded slowly. She wanted to believe him, but if she felt like something was wrong she wouldn’t be able to push it away, not until she knew for sure “Are you projecting again?”

“No” He shook his head quickly as his hands cupped hers “It’s nothing like that”

“Dalton, I can tell you’re tired and-”

“I mean I am tired, but it’s just my classes, that’s all. You know how Armagan is when it comes to these extensive projects” He gave her a reassuring smile, and he knew it worked because he could see the fear leave her body as she took a deep breath.

“Are you sure everything is alright?”

“Everything is great” Her eyes lingered on how his hair fell perfectly on his face as his head lowered to place a feather-light kiss on her forehead, closing her eyes momentarily as a smile appeared on her face “What should we do for dinner?”

“Mhm” She stopped to think for a moment. Her plan to leave before the rain hit would have to be put aside since her boyfriend’s wellbeing was far more important than making it back to her dorm dry “We should just order something and stay here, it’s probably gonna rain soon”

Y/N was right, it started raining almost as soon as they ordered their food, so eating in his room was definitely a good call. A couple of hours went by and they were done with their dinner, the sound of the pouring rain filling the room along with their laughter.

“How can you not like M&M'S?” They were currently ranking each other’s favourite sweets as they laid on their backs and stared at the ceiling. Y/N was surprised at how much taste Dalton lacked when it came to that, feeling a little displeased whenever he disliked something from her list.

“Not every flavour though, just the peanut chocolate ones”

“What?” She asked, almost yelling “That’s even worse, take it back”

“Sorry love, you have terrible taste”

“Says the guy who has Tootsie Rolls on his top 10” “What’s wrong with Tootsie Rolls?”

“Those are actually terrible” Dalton was about to defend himself again, but a notification on Y/N’s phone interrupted him. She immediately took it and let out a loud breath when she read the message, almost rolling her eyes

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just my roommate asking when I’ll be back”

“Oh”

“Still raining a lot outside” Y/N said as she sent a message back and Dalton immediately looked out the window “I’m gonna have to run to my dorm”

“No” Dalton was quick to reply “You should stay here with me tonight” Y/N looked at him with a smile on her face. She had already replied to her roommate telling her she would stay with Dalton tonight, but Dalton didn’t know that so he was ready to convince her “You can wear one of my shirts, and if it gets really cold we can cuddle”

Y/N’s smile grew bigger “I guess I’m gonna have to stay here then”

“Yes, you’re stuck with me tonight” He said, scooting over in his bed and propping up on one elbow as he laid on his side, facing her “It’s been a while since you’ve stayed with me”

“Well, it’s been a while since you’ve begged me to stay”

Dalton let out a shy laugh “It was just easier to convince you when I lied about my night light not working anymore”

“Right” Y/N chuckled as she remembered the many times he used that excuse “I forgot you don’t need the light or me anymore” She joked.

“But I always do, I need you” Dalton placed a hand on her hip “I feel safer when I’m with you”

And there it was, the bad feeling she had before. Dalton looked genuinely scared and he hadn’t been like that for a while, so him behaving that way all of the sudden filled her with fear and worry.

Y/N put her hand on top of his, rubbing it softly “I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere”

Dalton kissed her, long and sweet, breaking the kiss only when they needed to breathe “Thank you”

“Now let’s get ready for bed, it’s getting late”

⋆ ★⋆ ★

A faint voice woke Y/N up, her body covered in goosebumps when the pure darkness welcomed her once she opened her eyes. She looked around but there was nothing surrounding her, but a low light slowly appearing behind her caught her eye, it was flickering and it looked like it was about to go out any second.

She turned around slowly, her shaky legs almost giving out on her when she heard the voice again, this time louder and closer, allowing her to make out what it was saying. It was her name.

Suddenly the light died for just a moment, but when it came back something emerged from the darkness, it was a tall muscular figure and it was standing in front of her, and even though she could barely see it she could tell it had a sinister smile and grotesque appearance, making her feel more terrified than ever.

It was getting closer to her, the loud stomps from the dark cloven hooves ringing with each step. It took her a moment to process what was happening, but when she was able to see the entity better it clicked instantly. It was the demon that had been watching and torturing Dalton for years. She had never seen it before, but Dalton has described it enough times for her to remember the red-painted face that made it easy to distinguish.

She couldn’t move and the more she struggled the harder it was to breathe. She squeezed her eyes closed hoping it would go away, but the panic only increased when it didn’t work.

How was this possible? Why was the demon stalking her in her own dreams?

The Lipstick Demon was only getting closer, the long claws reaching for her as a crackling sound flooded her ears. She tried to scream, but the only thing that came out was her boyfriend’s name.

⋆ ★⋆ ★

“Dalton!” a distant scream woke him up, elaborated breathing as he blinked a few times to adjust to the faint light that was coming through the window. He looked next to him and located Y/N still sleeping there, adjusting himself in a better position to hug her as close as possible and trying hard to push away the reason he was awake, thinking (or at least hoping) it was just another nightmare.

But something rattling in the darkness of his room made him change his mind, and an unexpected chill ran down his spine. He picked his head up and scanned the dark room, trying to find the source of the noise. There was nothing out of the ordinary in sight but he was sure there was something there, watching him. Watching them. But it wasn’t until he remembered whose scream woke him up that his mind started racing.

“Y/N?” He said softly as his eyes went back to her “Baby, are you sleeping?” Nothing.

He feared the worst as he kept trying to wake her up, calling her name repeatedly and softly shaking her. He didn’t wanna accept what was already creeping on his mind, but she wasn’t a heavy sleeper, not like that, so that could only mean one thing. He persisted a couple more times, until he heard it again, her scream.

“Dalton”

The door didn’t close and he was aware of that now, the tension on his muscles and his heart rate increasing as he thought of the possible outcomes of Y/N being trapped somewhere away from him, somewhere in that terrible place. He knew what had to be done, he needed to astral project to find her and bring her back to him, but no matter how much he had gone through in the past, he had never felt this anxious and scared.

He sat with his back against the headboard, adjusting Y/N between his legs so that he could hold her and somewhat protect her. He closed his eyes and intertwined one of his shaky hands with hers, taking a deep breath before counting down from 10.

10…

9…

8…

7…

6…

5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

He opened his eyes and found himself in the dark version of his dorm, looking back at their physical bodies once he got up. They looked so cute and peaceful laying there, as if they were simply sleeping together. If anyone came in and found them laying like that they would never in a million years guess their souls are roaming around in a dark realm, hoping they can make it back safe.

He grabbed the lamp that appeared in front of him and held it up to his face to see better. Dalton’s breathing was increasing as he walked towards the door but he left his fear behind as he only had one thing on his mind: saving Y/N.

He exited the room and started wandering around, not sure how he would make it to the demonic lair, that stupid place he was sure the demon was keeping her in. “Y/N?” He tried calling her, but he was scared to be too loud and have other things follow him. If one of the trapped souls noticed him there they would be able to find his empty body, meaning they would find hers too and if something were to happen to her he would never forgive himself, but the thing is something did already happen, but he was just hoping he could save her.

He was desperately looking around him, looking for any sign of her “Y/N!” He repeated, this time a lot louder.

Dalton wasn’t getting anywhere, he was thinking of every possible way to find Y/N’s soul but he was only finding more darkness. But then all of the sudden a scream echoed through the pitch dark paths ahead of him, the familiar Red Door materialised before him and opened itself slowly.

He started running, he was going as fast as he could to ensure he would make it there before it was too late, the light above it flickering made him think it could go away any second.

Dalton made it in, and the sinister sounds became louder than they were. He had been lucky so far, he didn’t encounter any spirits or shadows that would usually stick close to him, but the one spirit that feared the most was somewhere in that dark place.

Dalton called her name, it had been a while since he heard her so he was way more worried than before, the negative thoughts were taking over his mind.

He walked for what felt like an eternity, looking for her in the darkest corners but there was no sign of her, until a gut wrenching scream hit his ears. It was Y/N, but she wasn’t calling for him anymore.

“Y/N!” The panic in his voice was evident as he rushed to where her voice came from, praying he could find her before something else did.

The sight of her made his heart sink. She was struggling to break free from the metal links that were keeping her there, a place he had been trapped in not too long ago. Dalton looked around before approaching her, wanting to make sure he wasn’t being followed.

Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw him, tears rolling down her face when she whispered “Dalton”

“Are you okay?” Was the one thing he needed to know. She nodded as she tried to get up to hug him, needing his comfort “Wait, don’t move. I’m gonna get you out of here, okay?” She nodded again and went back to her previous position, but the panic came back when Dalton started to walk away.

“Stay with me”

“I’ll be back, I just need to find something to break the chain”

“What if it comes back?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

The tears he had been holding started to fall down. Seeing Y/N in this state because of him was something he was always scared of, but after he thought he closed the Red Door he brushed it off thinking the danger vanished along with his nightmares, and even though the bad dreams came back he didn’t want to think about something bad happening to her, but he should’ve known the danger never truly left.

He stepped closer to her and crouched, finally embracing her “It won’t. But I will, I promise”

Y/N had a hard time letting him go, but when she did she wrapped her arms around herself to try to replace the warm feeling he provided her.

Dalton left her side, promising once again he would be back and quickly looked for something to free her from the metal chain. He didn’t wanna get too far from her, so he remained close enough to keep an eye on her. It didn’t take too long before he spotted something that could work, a big hammer hidden under a pile of wood.

He took it and rushed back to her, following the chain with his eyes and kneeling when he was in front of her “Close your eyes” He whispered, hitting the links as hard as he could once her eyes were closed.

The memories of his dad doing the same flashed before his eyes, and he started to wonder how they would both make it back to their bodies. It only took a few more tries to release her, and when he did he grabbed her hand and helped her get on her feet.

“We’ll have to run” She nodded and Dalton located the door, holding her tighter and guiding her to the exit. They were running but as they went through the door something started walking behind them.

Y/N recognised the stomps, but she was too scared to look back. She wanted to warn Dalton but she couldn’t find her voice, so she squeezed his hand a couple of times to get his attention.

He already knew what was behind them but he didn’t wanna face it, not while Y/N was with him, but he also knew she was way more scared than he was, and since he was the reason she was stuck in The Further he would do anything to save her.

“Run, and go back to your room!” He yelled, dropping her hand.

Y/N woke up with a loud gasp, looking around her to make sure she was back in the real world. Her eyes fell to their holding hands and she quickly looked up at Dalton, who remained motionless behind her with sweat covering his face almost completely.

She turned around and kneeled between his legs, carefully cupping his face and scanning every muscle of his body “Dalton?” She whispered but nothing happened, so she came to the conclusion that his body was still empty.

She knew what it meant, he was still in the dark realm but she was hoping he was looking for a way to get back. She was too scared to think of any other possibility, because if he was being drawn back to where she was and the demon was planning on keeping him there, she wouldn’t know how to save him, she didn’t have the ability to astral project to go back for him. But she remembered what Dalton said his parents used to do.

She left the bed for just a moment to turn on every light in his room, taking the power station to his bed to plug his night light to one of the outlets. She went back to her previous position and took a deep breath before starting “Dalton, follow my voice” She held his hand and repeatedly called his name, wiping her own tears every so often.

The minutes went by and Y/N didn’t stop talking to him, trying to guide him back to his body but she didn’t consider the risks of doing that.

Finally, Dalton opened his eyes abruptly, breathing heavily as he sat up completely. She was about to hug him, but there was something off with him, his pale face telling her it was something else.

He ignored her presence and looked down at his body, bringing his hands up to his chest and then his arms, a smirk appearing when he saw her.

Y/N left the bed slowly, her mind racing as she tried to think of a solution, maybe what they did last time could save him, but her fear was taking over. Dalton locked eyes with her and followed her to where she was standing, stopping inches away as his eyes turned a yellow-ish colour as he blinked. She was immobilised by terror, so she couldn’t get out of there even if she wanted to, but she would never abandon him there anyway.

After a moment of complete silence, Y/N tried to run towards the door in hopes of getting Chris, but with a simple hand movement from Dalton she fell to the ground and felt her body being dragged across the dorm and slammed back to the bed. The door swung open and closed after a moment, the lights in the room flickering a few times and before dimming, and desperation overtook her when she realised her mistake.

⋆ ★⋆ ★

Dalton saw Y/N slowly fade, letting him know she was back in his dorm safe and sound. That gave him a moment of relief, but it didn’t last long. He turned around to look for the Red Door, finding the menacing presence of the Lipstick Demon instead, standing right in front of the door and his scary eyes glowing in the dark staring back at him.

Sweat dripped from his brow as he watched it take steps closer to him, the space around him becoming smaller and colder. Suddenly, he heard her calling for him again.

“Dalton, follow my voice”

For a moment he thought about just running as fast as he could and go back, but his time to make a decision vanished when the demon let out a devilish laugh and disappeared. He knew where it went, so he desperately followed Y/N’s voice.

It stopped eventually, and when it did he knew something else took his place. He was running through the dark pathways at maximum speed, feeling momentarily pleased when he found his room.

He swung the door open and saw Y/N on his bed and the demon in front of her, looking down with a gaze filled with devilish intentions. He looked back at Dalton, letting out another laugh as the look on his face threatened to hurt her, and he knew it could do it effortlessly and in a second.

Dalton entered the room completely and closed the door behind him, the terrified look on Y/N’s face broke his heart. After the lights flickered and then dimmed, Dalton was trying hard to stabilise his breathing, but the eerie sounds made it hard to concentrate.

Panic gripped Dalton, but he focused his thoughts and shouted "You can’t take me again, I’m not afraid of you anymore!"

The demon let out an otherworldly shriek at Dalton, but he held his ground. With newfound courage and a surge of inner strength, he chanted words he had learned to banish the demon back to The Further and away from Y/N.

As he continued reciting the words a blinding light engulfed it, forcing it out of his body. With a final scream of defeat, it disappeared completely and the lights went back to normal. Dalton’s body fell to the ground and Y/N quickly went to check on him.

A couple of seconds passed and Dalton woke up gasping for air, she was staring at him, completely frozen and analysing every part of his face “Dalton?” Her voice was so low she barely even heard herself.

“Are you okay?” He immediately asked her, sitting up and reaching for her “What did I do to you?”

“Nothing, you didn’t do anything” Now that she was sure that was Dalton, she practically jumped on him to hug him tight.

“But are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay now” Her voice was a little muffled since she had her face buried on his neck, and Dalton brought his hands up and down her back softly to comfort her.

“I thought I told you to run” He whispered after a moment.

“And leave you? I would never do that”

“But I didn’t want you to-”

“Dalton, I told you I’m not going anywhere” She replied, breaking the hug and slightly punching his chest “Why didn’t you tell me this was happening?”

“I’m sorry-”

“You promised you would tell me if something was wrong”

“I know, love. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” Y/N’s eyes softened when he noticed the regret on his face.

“Why didn’t you?”

He stayed silent for a moment “I didn’t want you to worry”

“Well, if you had said something maybe tonight wouldn’t have happened. Dalton, there’s a reason I want to know these things” He nodded slowly “How did this happen?”

Dalton looked down in an attempt to avoid eye contact “I don’t think the door is closed” He finally admitted and her heart dropped at his words “I thought it was but the… demon, I think it has been watching me” He didn’t dare to look up to meet her gaze, but he knew she was crying.

“For how long?”

“Maybe a few weeks” He replied quietly.

“Dalton-”

“I didn’t think it was real, it started out as a nightmare”

“But isn’t that how it starts every time?”

“I just… I don’t want to lose you”

“And you won’t, you will never lose me” He finally met her eyes, cupping her face as he wiped a tear with his thumb. He never wanted to put her in danger, and if he had known that was a possibility he wouldn’t have let her stay there tonight.

“I’m sorry”

“I know”

“And I promise this will never happen again”

A chill ran down her spine as she remembered the events that took place just a few minutes ago “But... how did this happen?” She asked again, and Dalton just gave her a confused look “I can’t astral project, why was I trapped in The Further?”

“I don’t know, but I promise I will find out”

Y/N nodded and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around him almost as if she was trying to keep from leaving his body again and feeling grateful they were both okay.

Dalton on the other hand wasn’t as grateful, he knew he needed to close the door and he had to make sure he could keep his promise of something like this never happening again, after all, he had a girlfriend to protect.

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