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ash5monster01 · 5 months

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hii!! could you write something for charlie dalton and an insecure reader (they are already dating)? ive been feeling kind of ugly lately😭😭 tysm

I’m so sorry this has taken me so long, I hope everything has been going okay. Insecurities can really suck sometimes, but we just have to remember we’re all beautiful in our own way <3

Perfectly Me

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x FemReader

Warnings: fluff, self doubt, insecurities, anxiety

Summary: Dating cool and confident Charlie is proven to be hard when most of the time you’re insecure about everything about yourself.

word count: 1.1k

Masterlist

Charlie had always been Charlie. You weren’t entirely sure where he got it from. Somehow after all these years in boarding school he had found a confidence that set him apart from the others. You had never met anyone else that had lived life with their chin so high and smile so wide. He was confident, fun, popular, and you felt everything but. When he had chosen you it was shocking. How could daring and brave Charlie seek out the only girl that kept her head ducked and mouth shut. Yet somehow he did and everyday since you had been questioning why.

Especially on days like today. Days where Charlie’s laugh bellowed loudly through the lunch room as you sat quiet as a mouse beside him. Girls looked on with adoring looks and boys laughed after every sentence that left his mouth. His presence was large, everyone saw him, everyone liked him. It was so intense that as you sat beside the boy you loved you felt more invisible then ever, especially to him. He didn’t see you, there is no way he could have. You were nothing but an inanimate object beside him and you had only ended up in this position from a cruel trick of fate. Not only were you now invisible but humiliated because you couldn’t compare to him. You never could.

When the bell sounds you’re the first out the door. You didn’t want to wait and see if Charlie even acknowledged you, it would hurt too much if he didn’t. You barely went noticed as you left anyway so it would be no surprise if he didn’t notice either. But he did. His proud look turning into one of confusion as he spotted your form rushing away. He had wanted to kiss you, stare into your pretty eyes for a moment longer, but you were gone in the blink of an eye. He wondered why, it almost feeling like you were trying to escape him. This very thought plagued him the rest of the day as he awaited a moment to see you again.

Once classes were over it took him forever to find you. He felt like he had turned Welton upside down in search of you until he finally found you curled up on a window seat in the library. Your eyes were cast downward at the book in your hands, your forehead pressed against the cool glass of the window where you sat. You were so beautiful and his heart yearned deeply for you in that very moment. He wished you didn’t feel so far away. He just wanted you two to be okay. As much as he talked about always having a girlfriend he never thought he’d be lucky enough to have one, especially you.

“Found you” you jump slightly at the sound of his husky voice. He’s lifting your feet and sliding beside you before you can react. He doesn’t make any notion that the window is cold against his back as he finally looks at you.

“I wasn’t hiding” you finally say, a bit nervous in his presence which you hated.

“Felt like it” the sad way he drops his gaze from you makes your heart clench. You hadn’t meant to hurt him but he had unintentionally been hurting you.

“I know” you whisper and Charlie looks up to see the sad expression you wear, one that matched his own.

“Can you tell me why?” he asks and you notice how small he seems here. He isn’t loud and proud Charlie, he’s your boyfriend who’s afraid you’re going to say something that hurts him and even worse you know what you have to say is going too.

“I don’t know why you’re with me Charlie” you say, officially closing your book and giving him your full attention.

“What do you mean?” he asks and you bring your hands to your face, sighing into them before looking up again.

“I’m not like you Charlie. You’re good looking, popular, outgoing. I’m just not” you say, exasperated and tired of not only being insecure about everything else in your life but about this too.

“Yes you are!” and this has you chuckling dryly, so tired of being lied to.

“No Charlie, I know it, you know it, and the rest of these imbeciles do too” you say, arms crossing over you chest and Charlie sighs as he presses a hand to his forehead.

“You are to me” he says calmly and you feel your heart rate accelerate at the confession. Charlie dares a glance at you to see your face flooded with sadness and confusion. He had never meant to make you feel small. “You’re the only girl for me. Maybe you’re not all that outgoing but that’s okay. I need someone who is going to bring me down to earth. I wanted to kiss my girlfriend today before she left after lunch and instead I watched her run away from me. I don’t try to make you feel worthless, I’m just so used to being loud and bold to hide the fact that I’m terrified my life won’t turn out the way I want it to. The only thing I’m sure of is you”

“Is that true?” you ask and Charlie chuckles even though none of this conversation is meant to be funny.

“It’s the most true thing I’ve said all week” he tells you and finally you take a good look at your doe eyed boyfriend. His floppy brown hair hangs in his eyes and the crooked smile on his face is still only ever directed at you. He loves you the way you love him, for all the things neither of you are. So you scoot forward and wrap your arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry I assumed the worst of you” you tell him and he gives you a tight lipped smile that you happily lean forward and kiss.

“I’m sorry I expected too much of you” Charlie apologizes in return and you smile before locking your lips with his own again. Pulling yourself closer to him your book slides from your lap and lands with a loud thud that has you both giggling quietly in the back corner of the library. Charlie doesn’t care about the attention it might’ve brought and kisses you good and hard again.

The best thing about Charlie is no matter how insecure you are, at least he will always be there for you. You balanced each other out and balance was the most important key to life. Balance love, balance work and art, and you shall be free.

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ash5monster01 · 1 year

Text

Getting Red

Pairing: Charlie Dalton x FemReader

Warnings: shared trauma, fluff, swearing

Summary: You and the Dead Poets attend your ten year reunion, surprised by some of the faces that show up, you all agree spending the night catching up in the old Indian cave is the best way to remember Welton and it’s glory days. In the midst of it you reconnect with an old crush.

word count: 3109

Masterlist

1971

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this” you spoke, fixing your hair in the visors mirror. Knox let out a chuckle beside you as he shook his head.

“You graduated from here too, whether you like it or not. Plus my wife couldn’t come and I didn’t want to go alone” Knox said pushing the visor up so you would stop fiddling with your hair.

“I only graduated from here because my parents forced me. I can assure you Nolan and the teachers weren’t fond of it” you said, the nerves swirling in your stomach. It felt like going to school here all over again, a piece of meat in a wolf den.

“Look I hated Welton too but I wouldn’t trade it for the world because I had you, the Dead Poets, Keating, and Chris. None of that would’ve happened without Welton” your heart softened towards the boy, understanding where he came from.

“You think they came?” you found yourself asking, hoping and praying that the boys had it in them to come back to this place because even though it held so many good memories it held bad ones too.

“Hard to say, but I hope they did” Knox, always the dreamer. Smiling over at your best friend since freshman year you sighed and pushed the door open.

“Fine, let’s get this over with” Knox smiled and hurried out the car himself. You brushed out any wrinkles on the skirt of your red dress as you waited for Knox to escort you into the building.

“You think Nolan will make an appearance?” Knox asked as you pushed through the doors, the action giving you an eerie feeling.

“Doubt it, I heard he retired a few years ago and he hated our class” Knox replied as you both made your way to where the reunion was being held. The minute you stepped foot in the room eyes turned towards you. The feeling in the air made it clear many people had been uncomfortable but your class was the one that dealt with tragedy. “I’m gonna go get us some drinks”

“Okay” you nodded as Knox helped you slip off the shawl and he moved to hang your coats and find some alcohol to ease the tension.

“Damn Y/N, you still look good as ever” looking up you rolled your eyes slightly and crossed your arms over your chest where his eyes were practically glued.

“Just cause you haven’t seen me in ten years Hopkins doesn’t mean anything has changed” you told him and he chuckled slightly.

“You’re right, but ten years later it was still worth a shot” he flashed a wink and you chuckled when suddenly he froze as he looked at something behind you.

“You okay?” you asked slowly turning around and suddenly your breath hitched. In all his glory, black suit, shaggy chestnut hair, and dopey smile stood Charlie Dalton who had been expelled before he could even graduate from the school.

“Of course Dalton would have the nerve to show up to something like this” Hopkins huffed from behind you but Charlie’s eyes locked on yours and he flashed a quick smirk as he strutted further into the room.

“Y/N my dear, you look surprised” he spoke once he was close and you tried to collect your thoughts quickly. It may have been ten years but you still wouldn’t let Charlie Dalton know he had any kind of effect on you at all.

“Well Charles, considering you didn’t graduate from this school I’m curious as to how you got an invite” you quipped back, knowing he hated being called Charles. Yet Charlie didn’t falter as looked back at you.

“Oh sweet innocent Y/N, you of all people should know Meeks still tells me everything” he gestured to a table where you had spotted the old red headed friend who had Pitts and Todd by his sides. They all offered you a small wave and you quickly waved and smiled back.

“Of course he does, only you could get kicked out of Welton and still have your henchman be so loyal” Knox now walked up behind you, a glass of wine in his hand for you when a smile grew across his face.

“Charlie!” he quickly handed you the drinks and he rushed to embrace the boy in a quick hug.

“Hey Knoxie, how’s Chris? Still hot?” Knox gave him a light shove but nonetheless the two boys laughed as they rejoiced.

“She’s great, the kids too. I see you and Y/N here already fell into your old ways” Knox could tell your annoyance immediately but the presence of Charlie just did that to people.

“Come on, let’s go see the others” Charlie moved to wrap his arm around your shoulders but you quickly knocked him away as Knox helped you with the drinks.

“Looks like I’m still losing out to Dalton” you heard Hopkins say once the boys started towards the table. Slowly you turned, knowing he was right because no guy in Welton ever did compare to Charlie.

“It was good to see you” you told him with a soft smile. He smiled back and you gave his arm a squeeze before you moved to the table where you belonged. You hadn’t spotted Cameron but that was more than likely a good thing considering what he had done to the group and Keating.

“Charlie Dalton, of course you’d show up to the reunion of a school you got kicked out of” Todd stood and shook the man’s hand, pulling him into a hug. He had really come out of his shell the last ten years but it really started after Neil had passed.

“I couldn’t help myself, to bad Nolan is an antique because I would’ve really enjoyed seeing his face when I came through those doors” Charlie told the group as you said your quiet hellos to Meeks and Pitts.

“And Y/N you look beautiful as ever” Todd said as you and the group all filled the seats around the table. Crazy how quickly you could fall into old habits.

“Thank you Todd, how’s your latest book coming along?” you asked. You had kept in touch over the years and Todd had been doing extremely well for himself. He had published two books and that was all thanks to Keating. Too bad he wasn’t here to tell him that.

“Slowly but that’s the process” he smiled and you nodded before taking a long sip from the drink Knox had gotten you.

“So, how bad is it?” Knox whispered to the boys who had been there a bit longer than them.

“Well all these assholes have graduated from ivy leagues and are richer than God. What a surprise, I know” Meeks spoke, sarcasm lacing his tongue to which the rest of the group snickered.

“They even set up this memorial for Neil. It’s ten years later and they still want us to blame anyone other than this school and his father” Pitts said and the group turned and sure enough at the end of one of the tables was a picture of Neil surrounded by stuff from his time here.

“Makes me sick” you spoke, your stomach clenching as you closed your eyes. It never hurt any less losing a friend like that.

“He would’ve loved to come to this. See everyone ten years later. He probably would’ve dragged all of our asses into going” Charlie said because he came here for the same reason everyone else did. If Neil had never died none of them would’ve cared to come back to this school but because he did coming back was as close as they could get to seeing him again.

“He would’ve been happy about it too” Todd said and the group all smiled sadly at each other. You often wondered if any of you would’ve stayed in touch if Neil had never passed because sometimes it felt like you all did for him.

“Hey, here’s to Neil and sucking all the marrow out of life” Charlie held his glass up and the rest of you followed suit as you clinked glasses and all took a drink. The conversation was obviously sad but you all had grown used to the feeling.

“As long as you don’t choke on the bone” you winked at the boy beside you and Charlie smiled, surprised you had remembered. Yet how could you forget when the stunt he pulled nearly got you kicked out of the school.

“Well I’ve had about enough of this reunion, how about you guys? Perhaps we can have a reunion of our own” Charlie rose his eyebrows and grins danced across each of the boys faces as they eagerly nodded.

“I’ll steal a bottle of champagne” Knox said and without any spoken agreement everyone moved to collect their coats and leave the stuffy room full of boys who have no idea what life could really feel like.

“This is so fun, I feel so free knowing we’re doing this and we don’t have to worry about getting caught” Knox said as you all made your way through the woods, the route to the old Indian cave still clear as day.

“This feels like the first time we came out here” Todd said as they started to pick up their pace. Before you knew it the boys were all fairly ahead of you, unable to keep up in your footwear.

“Need a lift?” Charlie appeared at your side as you unstuck your heel from the grass. Laughing lightly you looked at him.

“If you could?” you weren’t usually one to say yes to Charlie but at this rate you’d be left alone in the woods and that terrified you.

“Alright princess, hop on” he squatted down in front of you and you were surprised your first reaction wasn’t to be annoyed that he called you princess. It was actually quite nice hearing him say it for the first time in a decade. You swiftly hopped onto his back and his arms locked underneath your knees as he started walking towards the boys. “You didn’t yell at me for the pet name”

“Contrary to your belief Charlie but I missed you and even though I don’t really prefer you belittling me with pet names like princess it was still nice to hear” you spoke, your hot breath hitting his neck and he smiled.

“Wow, you admitted you missed me and it was followed by more nice words. I’m in shock” Charlie said and you laughed, your chest bumping into his back with each laugh.

“It’s been a while, I figure we can’t spend all of our time bickering even though that is our favorite past time” you said as you rested you chin on his shoulder, thankful he offered to carry you through the woods.

“How’s that fiancé of yours, what’s his name? Marion?” you rolled your eyes at Charlie’s bash towards the man’s name.

“Martin and I’m assuming fine considering we broke off the engagement” Charlie’s eyes widened at this, surprised you of all people were still on the market.

“Oh. I’m sorry” Charlie told you but you shook your head on his shoulder.

“It’s okay, I broke it off. He wanted me to be a housewife and my degree from Harvard said otherwise” you told him and Charlie grinned at the fact you were still tough as nails, taking no shit from nobody as you navigated through life. Keating would be proud.

“Well, his loss” Charlie said as you approached the entrance of the cave. He slowly slipped you off his back, helping you to the ground before allowing you to enter first.

“There you are, we had to keep Todd from starting the meeting” Knox said as you both entered and you laughed as you climbed into the cave and took a seat, Charlie plopping next to you. Pitts finished starting the small fire and Todd stood up beside it.

“Go for it Todd” Charlie said and Todd smiled as he pulled the book from his coat.

“Keating left it in my dorm. I didn’t have the heart to ever get rid of it” he explained as he turned it over in his hands and opened the cover. “I went into the woods because I wanted to live deliberately-“

“To live deep and suck all the marrow out of life. To put to rout all that was not life and not when I came to die discover that I had not lived” the rest of you chimed in, the words never leaving your souls.

“Who wants to go first?” Todd asked and Charlie stood swiftly, Todd moving so he could take center stage. You took this time to look around the cave, your stomach tightening when you saw the God of the Cave still where Neil had left it, just worn down from the years.

“I actually came prepared” he said as he denied the book from Todd and pulled a piece of paper out of his suit jacket.

“Dark in the night, we felt free. Like taking flight, like birds in a tree. The moon our spotlight, the words so sweet. We loved with great might, and hurt so deep. Bonded in weather, our message forever, missing you together, the Dead Poets and me” a tear slipped from your eye and you quickly wiped it away as the boys applauded.

“Hey Charlie, that was great” Knox patted his back as he sat back down.

“I wanted to write a poem for tonight but no matter what I put down it ended up being about how I felt about this place” he said and the boys nodded, knowing what he had meant. Welton was never the same and they were changed forever.

“I’ll go next” Knox said and Todd handed him the book. Knox read and the rest of the boys followed, you all passing around the bottle of champagne. You stood as well, reading from the book, and trying to memorize the feeling of what it was like to read in the cave again. But once the meeting was over the rest of you still couldn’t find the heart to leave. If you could live in this moment forever you would.

“I’m gonna get some fresh air” Charlie perked up beside you and stepped out the cave. The boys watched as he moved out and you decided to follow after.

“Yes, fresh air indeed” you spoke sarcastically as you saw the now lit cigarette dangling from his lips.

“Needed a buzz doll, visiting the past can be a bit overwhelming” he spoke, the cigarette dancing across his lips, his hands shoved deeply in his pockets from the cold night air.

“Yeah, I get that” you said as you grabbed the cigarette from his lips, your fingers brushing softly against them as you pulled it away to take a long drag yourself. His breath hitched as you pulled it away, your red lipstick stained on the end, as you placed it back in his mouth.

“It’s a nice feeling, all of us together again. No Cameron is a perk too” he knocked you with his shoulder, never liking the boy long before he finked.

“Is it wrong I wish things were still like this?” you asked and Charlie chuckled. One thing you both had in common was you had romanticized this part of your life, and maybe now allowing anyone new into your life wouldn’t come close to feeling as good as this.

“No, at least I think so. I would do anything to get back those nights in the cave” you nodded along with him, holding your hand out, a sign to pass you the cigarette. He obeyed and passed it to you, both of you staring off into the darkness of the woods.

“Do you think we’re still single because people will never understand the things we’ve gone through?” you asked, because there wasn’t many woman your age that weren’t married yet and you were running out of single men.

“Yeah, but I have more reasons than that” Charlie spoke, taking the cigarette back to give it one final drag.

“Yeah, like what?” you asked as he stomped out the bud, the cigarette light no longer illuminating his face.

“Well for starters no girl I’ve met has ever come close to you” you gasped slightly at his admission, shocked to hear that all those years of bickering Charlie felt the same way about you that you did him.

“Why didn’t you ever reach out?” you nervously asked, trying to calm your breathing as he stepped closer.

“Well I didn’t think I deserved someone as amazing as you. After I got kicked out I felt like I deserved nothing” he said, you now both facing each other, chests only an inch apart.

“And now?” you whispered due to the close proximity and he smiled as he pushed some of your hair behind your ear.

“Now I know we all deserve to be happy. I also think it’s a sign both of us being single all these years later. So I want to give this a shot” Charlie spoke and you nervously swallowed, surprised grown Charlie had you as worked up as teenager Charlie would’ve.

“Okay” was all you could say and he grinned as he leaned down and pulled you mouth against his. His hands slid up into your hair and you didn’t care as you grabbed his hips, kissing back with everything you had in you.

“Shit, I’ve always wanted to do that” Charlie said, panting slightly as he pulled away, your red lipstick smeared across his face.

“Me too” you grinned before pulling him into another kiss. This time you wrapped your arms around his neck as he ran his down your back. The need to be against each other overtaking anything else.

“We should get back in before they get suspicious” Charlie pulled back and you smirked at his lipstick covered face and nodded, knowing he wasn’t aware you had made your mark. You nodded and allowed him to lead you back into the cave, snickers immediately coming from the others.

“Look at that, Nuwanda’s getting red bit worked” Todd spoke and the rest of the boys busted out laughing to which you sat back down, enjoying how embarrassed he was.

“You got a little something here buddy” Meeks told him and he pointed to his lips and Charlie tried to wipe away the lipstick but a lot of it stayed.

“Told you it drives girls crazy”

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