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cathumanthing2 · 11 months

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Roseblings Chatfic AU Chapter 10 Q&A

magic bitches

9:13 am

father: I'm only saying this for foreshadowing purposes, but I met the person who threw us all into this mess today. Apparently it wasn't really them, but some version of them created for the sole purpose of "fucking with us". Either way, they seemed nice, but were also scarily bent on "traumatizing my poor blorbos" so I do not know what is going on with them.

tech wizard: on THAT terrifying note, good morning bitchesss

glitter starboy: Pix are you some sort of eldrich being or something who is able to talk to the fucking CREATOR???

father: Shoot, that wasn't in the script, wait a second while I consult Cat.

buff buff farmer: It's too early for you to be joking about this stuff Pix

father: I promise you, I am not joking.

CatHumanThing joined the groupchat

CatHumanThing: henlo motherfuckers prepare for suffering >:3

tech wizard: WHAT THE FUCK

buff buff farmer: holy shit who tf are you

glitter starboy: How tf did this thing join-

actual wizard: I'm gonna go, I dont have the energy for this rn

father: Why hello, I would ask where you came from, had I not already known that your response would simply be a vague sentence and nothing more.

CatHumanThing: And the only semi-reasonable person here is RIGHT! All yall need to know is im here to ask yall questions

fungi fungus gnome: ominous

CatHumanThing: OKAYYY first up, from ArchAngelAthena, for gem: STOP TRYING TO BE STRONG ALL THE DAMN TIME!!! Your only hurting urself, and ur brother! And if it continues then ur brother will cry, & if he cry’s then i cry & it’ll be a bad day for everyone! Stop thinking u have to do everything right now! U have —only god knows how long— time ahead of u, relax, take a chill pill, spend some time with friends and family, eventually u won’t have the time to do so… so take the chance while u still have it… ur parents we’re assholes, & did many illegal things, but don’t let what they did change how u live ur life… we —ur brother, ur friends, the ones who watch all this— love u, & we don’t want u hurting urself, ok? Take care of urself, see ya soon!

actual wizard: A. That wasnt a question B. how did you know about all of this, are you stalking me?? C. I'll try but I have wayy too many things to get done

tech wizard: Gem, it's summer.

actual wizard: So?

CatHumanThing: Gem.

actual wizard: I'll try.

CatHumanThing: Good enough. Next question, from Ravenpuff99, to everyone: What are your pronouns, gender, and sexuality, also favourite flower and animal :)

tech wizard: I use he/they pronouns, im transmasc, and pan, also i like wither roses and salmon

actual wizard: She/they, demigirl, and bi with a preference for women, and wither roses and cats

scary fish lady: I use she/her and most neos, I'm a girl, and im bi with no preference, i like water lilies and axolotls

short pottery man: heyyy i use he/him, male, demisexual, and my favorite flowers are blossoming azaleas and my favorite animals are donkeys specifically named jeramy

scary fish lady: joel istg stop it with your weird cult-

short pottery man: ITS NOT A CULT ITS A RELIGION

glitter starboy: Ignoring that, i use he/him, transmasc, gay and poly, and i like poppies and snowy owls

jungle bitch: He/him, male, gay, and I like most jungle plants and nether plants, and my favorite animals are tigers

jungle bitch: And Xorny says xe uses they/he/it/xe/void pronouns and are nonbinary, and are gay. They like nether mushrooms and cats

fungi fungus gnome: she/they/shroom, demigirl, ace sapphic, mushrooms, and wolves!

plant flower faerie: She/they, girl, grayasexual demiromantic sapphic, ALL flowers are AMAZING and i love them all equally, and i really love cats or bees, they're both so cute!

father: I use he/they pronouns, identify as male and omnisexual with a preference towards men, and I don't have a particular animal I like most.

buff buff farmer: I use she/her, im a girl, im aroace, and i like sunflowers and ducks

blood sheep man: I use he/him, im a boy, im bi with a preference towards men, and i like wither roses and blood sheep

pathetic fish man: he/they, demiboy, asexual biromantic polyam, i like cornflowers and cod

CatHumanThing: OKAYYY that took forever!!! Anyways, next question is from Ravenpuff99 again, for everyone: When's the last time you did self care? This is your reminder that we love you, and to go eat/drink/sleep/take meds/shower if you need to or haven't recently. Self care is important!! We will all cry if you don't take care of yourself (this is a threat) <333

father: For the sake of time, I will tell you that the only ones here who regularly get a good nights' sleep are Jimmy, Pearl, and I.

CatHumanThing: Next one, from teslapenguini! Everyone other than shrub n katherine, how long have yall been watching those two completely fail to realise their feelings and how close are you to just directly spelling it out to them?

buff buff farmer: Istg, its taking forever. Ever sincem iddle school theyve been dancing around each other. I just. Im THIS close to telling them directly

father: They are frustratingly oblivious, and have been since around the 8th grade, to the best of my memory.

glitter starboy: It's a wonder i didnt add katherine to the simp chat earlier. The amount of "oh they're so cute i wonder why" i have to tolerate. And shrubs even worse.

plant flower faerie: shrub do you have any idea wtf they re all talking about

fungi fungus gnome: a little but i refuse to accept it

glitter starboy: its getting worse. Shes oblivious by choice now

jungle bitch: ok actually i'll say it right now: guys just kiss already

plant flower faerie: whos he talking to

fungi fungus gnome: i know but i wont tell you

scary fish lady: even jimmy isnt this oblivious i swear-

actual wizard: They are so obliviously agonizingly gay for each other and have been since around the 7-8th grade that at this point i try my best to ignore it

plant flower faerie: im starting to catch on but i refuse to believe it

fungi fungus gnome: same

glitter starboy: Katherine, shrub, besties, guys, just…. Its… its getting so agonizingly painful. Just. yeah.

CatHumanThing: Okayy from Crystal, to everyone, do you guys have stuffed animals? If so, what are their names and what are they of?

scary fish lady: Two axolotls named sir strawberry and lady marcelline

pathetic fish man: One unnamed cod plush that norman absolutely loves

short pottery man: stuffed animals are for losers

scary fish lady: he has a donkey named jeramy that he based an entire religion off of in elementary to middle school

short pottery man: THESE ARE FALSE CLAIMs

actual wizard: a dragon plush named violet that gandalf loves!

fungi fungus gnome: A cat named star

jungle bitch: I never had any because my raptors tear them up all the time

tech wizard: YOU HAVE RAPTORS?????

jungle bitch: Yep! [Raptors.image.png] (it's of a raptor curled up asleep in Joey's lap)

fungi fungus gnome: that. is. adorable.

plant flower faerie: I have a bunch of bee plushes!

glitter starboy: I have a bunch of snowy owl plushes and they all have names, theres too many to fit here though

tech wizard: A salmon plush

father: I have a copper car I named David, does that count?

blood sheep man: I got Bubbles a dog plush to keep her company

buff buff farmer: i have many ducks

CatHumanThing: AnnulledGoat asked Shrub: What's your favorite mushroom, also do you like mooshrooms?

fungi fungus gnome: I really like the fly agaric, it's really pretty, PLUS it gets you high! Also YES THEY ARE SO CUTE-

glitter starboy: mushrooms that get you high >>>>>> normal mushrooms

tech wizard: fr

father: You guys are not allowed to get high.

tech wizard: you're no fun

CatHumanThing: I have a paraphrased thing that my bestie/beta-reader-i-cant-contact-rn Cedar said once, for Shrub: shrub is my fav since shes short

fungi fungus gnome: aww thx! Yaknow, there really needs to be more positivity about beign short

plant flower faerie: Shrub doesnt have to be short to be anyones favorite, they're just like that :)

fungi fungus gnome: thx bestie!

glitter starboy: yknow what im just gonna tell them

CatHumanThing: Oh, scott, you cant do that for plot reasons. I will physically restrain you and take away your plot-relevancy for 5 whole chapters :D /srs /threat

glitter starboy: ok, you're terrifying, duly noted

CatHumanThing: Next! From crimston7, to everyone, including me: what’s your favourite book? And if you don’t really read then what’s your favourite game?

CatHumanThing: I used to be obsessed with warriors

fungi fungus gnome: I have a book about mushrooms that I have memorized if that counts

actual wizard: Its really hard to choose a favorite book, but i have a book about magic that i absolutely adore

tech wizard: annoying gem to the point of insanity

blood sheep man: a book on blood magic and summoning demons! :D

jungle bitch: the same book that Sausage likes because it got me Xorny

glitter starboy: ew. anyways, the book on the clash of the great stags because i like the story , and i feel connected to it for some reason

plant flower faerie: A book on gardening!

scary fish lady: It's hard to choose a single book, so ill just say the game: marco polo

short pottery man: a book i wrote on jeramyism

pathetic fish man: I had a bit of a warriors phase a bit ago, i liked the ones that had a focus on riverclan

buff buff farmer: Books are cool, but I dont really have a favorite

father: A book on prophecy.

CatHumanThing: Woo! Now, for Katherine, from blxegrxpe, what is your opinion on all your friends? Answer honestly

plant flower faerie: Scott is cool, he's my bestie, shrub is really cute and kind and funny and awesome and i love talking to her and i think about them a lot :D, lizzie kinda scares me but shes also really cool, gem is smart and clever but really needs to take care of herself, fWhip scares me a little, so does sausage, joey is cool but istg he simps for a literal DEMON/ELF/IDK, i dont know joel that well but he seems cool, jimmy is really kind, pix is 100% one of the only sane people here, which is concerning because he seems mildly insane/lh, and pearl is realljy strong and cool

fungi fungus gnome: wow, thanks :D

plant flower faerie: it's true, you're awesome shrub!

buff buff farmer: okay they're TRYING to be frustrating at this point.

CatHumanThing: LAAAST QUESTION!!!: for fWhip, from blxegrxpe, why do you like inventing so much?

tech wizard: Its fun, i get to unleash monstrosities on the world, and i can make cool stuff

actual wizard: he also likes it because he can create chaos

tech wizard: yup :)

CatHumanThing: I have now thoroughly questioned you, and i will leave with a single statement: beware of pixlriffs, yall are driving him insane with your lack of sleep

CatHumanThing: ADIOS MOTHERFUCKERSSSSSS!!!!

CatHumanThing left the groupchat

tech wizard: what the fuck just happened

mushrooms and plants belong together :D

10:28 am

Shub :D: so katherine uh do you understand a bit about what they were yelling at us about in the chat

Kath <3: A bit, i dont wanna believe it though, i just found out something about myself a few days ago so..

Shub :D: Same, but uh

Shub :D: Since its making them kinda frustrated and it pains them to watch

Shub :D: why dont we amp up our obliviousness and put a bit more of an oblivious front just to mess with them

Kath <3: That doesnt seem very nice but it also seems like it would be funny…

Kath <3: Yes

Kath <3: But before we do that, i think i should tell you something

Kath <3: You're really pretty and nice and cool and cute and i think i have a crush on you

Shub :D: I like you too :)

Kath <3: So i guess them being upset at us did what it was intended to do haha

Shub :D: It really did, but they dont know that yet and so we can mess with them

Kath <3: How much are you willing to bet they dont find out their yelling worked until like 6 months into the future?

Shub :D: at least $20

Kath <3: So does this mean we're dating?

Shub :D: I guess Kath <3: woo!

#roseblings chatfic au #empires smp season 1 #empires smp #empiresblr #fanfiction #chat fic #q&a #fanfic #nature wives

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randy-ortons-chair · 2 years

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I'm baaack bitchesss

I came out of retirement~

So, as I'm a lonely person, here's an update of what's been up with my life recently

My relationship of almost 3 years ended

I got a snake tattoo bc I love them, and I'm not fooling everyone, bc I love Randy Orton as well

I'm back to writing shit, I'll be participating in 2022's -something-tober (bc idk if will be kinktober, flufftober or goretober, but let's be real my current emotional situation makes me unable to write romance or fluff-ish kink without crying so most likely I'll head towards the creeptober side)

I will take advantage of this devastating breakup with my now ex-partner to test that saying that you lose weight with this kind of shit (update: 4 days since breakup and I'm weighting 6lb less)

I still love Randy Orton. Just in case you were asking

I got tired of the best superstars collecting pins courtesy of the bloodline (I got tired a long time ago btw)

I'm taking a bath while writing this

My new profile picture is a comission I ordered from Fiverr, the artist is EXTREMELY talented and for sure I will be ordering again. Basically is me, with my fav tee being tired of wwe's shit (my normal state)

I'll retake watching wrestling. I took a break since the Clash at the Castle fiasco and here I AM. I'm unsure of watching yesterday's raw... Idk I'll figure that out through the day

I'm happy to be back 💛

#ya girl is back #You couldn't get rid of me #wwe #wrestling #personal

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depressedacadamia · 3 years

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Daisies and Distress

Summary: Hazel loves flowers and plants but poor Frank is allergic. What happens when these two get into an arguement about Hazel's precious plants?

A/N: I HAD WRITERS BLOCK BUT I’M BACK BITCHESSS

Read on AO3

If there was one thing that Frank had to say he didn’t like about Hazel, he would say nothing.

But if there was one thing that Hazel owned that Frank hated, it would be the magnitudes of flowers and plants that she owned. Frank could tolerate the plants- after all, they weren’t harming him but when it came to the flowers and in particular, the daisies, he drew the line. Daisies had pollen. A lot of pollen and with one gentle breeze of air, that pollen could be up his nose and the next thing he nose, he’s sent into sneezing fits.

Hazel told him to simply stay out of her cabin. If he didn’t come in, he wouldn’t have to deal with the flowers. However, Frank seemed to object to the idea on the basis that it would mean they couldn’t have their secret kissing sessions. It wasn’t that everyone didn’t know they were dating, for it was almost as obvious as Percy and Annabeth's relationship, it was simply Hazel was raised in a very traditional time. She couldn’t feel comfortable if she knew everyone was watching them together- at most, she could tolerate them holding hands in public or a peck on the cheek.

So here the dilemma settled- either Frank would stop visiting Hazel (something that would never happen in his eyes) or Hazel would get rid of the flowers (something that would never happen in her eyes). Hazel loved her plants. To her, they were a source of beauty that she could create that wouldn’t curse everyone around her- unlike her precious metals.

“I am not getting rid of any of my plants nor flowers for you Frank!” Hazel called out.

“How about just half of the flowers? The really pollen-y ones? Like…” He turned around and pointed at the vast collection of daisies. “All of these?”

“But those are my favourite ones!”

“You could always replace them with another yellow plant right?”

“Daisies are white,” Hazel deadpanned, turning around to face her boyfriend with her hands on her hips. To anyone else, this encounter may seem quite humorous- considering the height difference, a very much petit Hazel whom Frank was almost towering over. That said, Frank did not underestimate her might due to her height- he knew that if she wanted, he could be flat on his back, with her spartha under his throat.

“But they’re yellow in the middle,” He argued.

“The petals of the flower itself are white.”

“But I’m allergic to pollen Hazel! I start sneezing like crazy and my eyes go all red and itchy!”

She shrugged her shoulders and hummed. “So don’t come to my cabin. Simple.”

“But...but….”

Hazel smiled wickedly, her innocence disappearing for a second. “ But what?”

Frank grumbled something unintelligible and Hazel knew she had checkmated him- fair and square. Frank felt hopeless- why was Hazel so relentless on this! As a couple, they spent most of their time in Hazel’s cabin, doing coupley things. Was she trying to tell him something? Frank swore he remembered someone telling him that in a relationship, the other partner always hints what they want. Was this what Hazel was doing now? And if so, what exactly was she trying to say?

Was she trying to tell him that she didn’t want to see him anymore? Was that why she refused to get rid of daisies? Just as Frank was about to raise the question, he looked back up and saw that Hazel was nowhere to be found.

Hazel thought the daisies were starting to look weedy. She did not want to just get rid of them because they had started out gorgeous and beautiful and she loved that they’d close up at night and open in the day but by now, they looked quite… un-aesthetically pleasing.

“What are you doing?” A blonde figure by the door asked. Jason stood there, his eyebrows creasing and his forehead sparkled with perspiration.

“Just trying to get rid of these daisies. I picked them a while ago but now they’re just getting weedy.”

Jason sighed happily. “ Oh thank goodness. I was going crazy from how much Frank ranted about those flowers. I’m sure he’ll be happy to know tha-”

“-Don’t tell Frank anything… for now of course. I don’t plan on letting them be gone for long,” She smiled.

Jason frowned. “ Hazel, what exactly are you on about?”

Hazel gave a heavy sigh, as if she were slightly irritated by the lack of intelligence around her. “Just because I'm getting rid of these flowers does not mean I’m not going to replace them.”

Jason’s mouth opened and then closed and then opened and then closed.

“You look like a goldfish.”

“I don’t like you,” Jason huffed, slightly offended. He happened to think he looked quite handsome. Hazel gave him a sugar like smile before ushering him out of her cabin and letting the soft candle light combined with the setting sun give light to her place.

Hazel had managed to find new daisies, fresh ones that wouldn’t weed up for at least a week or two- if she put fertiliser pellets in their water (she was running low on those). The sun was rising and Frank had not come by her cabin the previous night- which Hazel would have dictated as strange had the recent argument not occurred.

“Can I come in?” A voice echoed along with a gentle knock on the door. Hazel, ready to win, opened the door swiftly; only for the figure to not be Frank. She frowned, confused as to why Leo was even at Camp Jupiter- After all, he wasn’t very welcome considering his first impression on them.

“Uh.. sure?”

Leo, messy as usual, walked in. His hair was in its regular curly state (although Hazel could have sworn that she saw some ends that had clearly been set on fire) and his smile was bright. But Hazel knew Leo and she knew Sammy- when they had that certain innocence to their smile, nothing good could come out of it.

“You look...suspicious,” She started, her hands resting on her hips and her eyes never leaving Leo.

“What?” Leo shrugged. “Just because I’m being nice, you're assuming I have an ulterior motive?”

“I never said you were nice. Nice try though.”

“Offended. Anyway, I’m here because my baby Festus needed to stretch their legs so we went for a ride. Thought I’d say hello before we hopped back to Long Island.”

Hazel frowned. “You came all the way here from Long Island? That’s quite far, isn’t it?”

Leo stayed silent, his back to Hazel; the only sounds being his fingers stretching and his knuckles cracking.

“You said hello to Jason? I know he’d be mad if he knew you came without giving him a heads up.”

“Oh thanks for the reminder.” He paused and turned around. “ How long have you had those flowers? They certainly don’t look like they’ve been here for ages.”

She raised an eyebrow and her arms went to cross over her chest. Something was up. She knew Leo was smart, genius even. Despite that, when it came to plants and flowers, he was as clueless as it gets.

She had seen Calypso’s attempts to teach him nature care but it was clear that Leo was not very good at plants. As a child of Hephaestus, they just didn’t speak to him well, unlike Festus.

“That’s because they haven’t been here for ages. Freshly picked as of yesterday evening,” She informed him.

“How’s Frank?”

“What’s with all the topic hopping?”

Hazel’s eyes shot to Leo fingers fiddling. Yes, it was normal for Leo to fidget, in fact, it would be considered strange if he didn’t but the way he was fiddling now was odd. Hazel knew that Leo would make small contraptions- like pistons or mini electromagnets. But he wasn’t making anything, he was just folding his fingers back and forth anxiously.

“Which one of them sent you?”

“Who! People? Send me? Why would anyone send me here? I came here all on my own accord because they- I mean I, uh, I wanted to say hi!” Leo blurted. She narrowed her eyes. Just as she was to give a response, the door opened.

There was no knock. No warning. It just opened. No one asked for permission. That's what told Hazel that it was Frank. She remembered how she had told him that for him, her door was always open. From that day, Frank had simply walked into Hazel’s cabin as no knock was required.

“What is he doing here?” Frank asked immediately. They both seemed quite startled in his eyes. Leo couldn’t have looked more suspicious with his nervous, fiddling hands and Hazel, well Frank couldn’t even read Hazel if he tried at this point.

“Leo came t-”

“Why is he in your cabin so early in the morning? Did he stay the night? Is that why you kept the flowers? What, to ward me off like I’m some miasma?”

Frustratedly, Hazel facepalmed. “What are you on about?”

“This!” Frank exploded, his hands and arms flying everywhere. He felt like shit, in fact, he hated feeling like this. It made him feel dark- useless and pathetic. Here he was accusing his girlfriend of going behind his back with a guy whom he could trust with all his life because of what? Jealousy? Anger?

“I kept the flowers because I wanted them. Leo visited because the others made him and no! He didn’t stay the night and besides, I was out picking flowers in the evening- you can even ask Jason!”

“I..I…” But Frank had no words. He couldn’t believe he had acted so stupidly all over a couple of flowers but he wasn’t prepared to set aside his ego and accept all the blame- after all, shouldn’t Hazel’s boyfriend mean more to her than a couple of flowers?

Awkwardly, Leo shuffled from foot to foot. “ Ah.. so it seems my job here is done.”

“So they did send you!” Hazel whipped her head towards Leo. He quickly wiggled his way between her and Frank.

“Sorrygottogobye!”

Folding her arms, Hazel snorted, slightly amused. “He really thinks he can get away- doesn’t he.”

“He was always a little more clueless than us all. It’s why Calypso is good for him,” Frank agreed.

“Don’t think you’ve been let off so easily, mister!” Hazel turned on Frank. “ What was that back then? Are you really getting so worked up over some flowers?”

Frank mumbled something inaudible.

“Huh?”

He took a deep breath. “ I said, I don’t wanna have to stop seeing you at night but those flowers are the work of Pluto.”

“Proserpina actually, but close enough.”

“Really? She always seemed so nice,” Frank mused. Hazel cringed.

“You clearly haven’t been to one of our family reunions.”

“It can’t be that bad?” Frank offered. Hazel shook her head.

“Nico has spent more time in the underworld as a dandelion than he has spent as a demigod.”

“Well,” Frank sighed, slightly alarmed. “Now I know to always decline an invite from Proserpina, thanks.”

“Frank, come on! They’re just flowers!” Hazel tried to reason. What if he actually didn’t mind the flowers? What if this was his way of telling her that he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore? Is that what he was doing? Using the flowers as an excuse?

“Okay. Do you want to break up?” Frank asked bluntly. Hazel could feel her heart drop. Her mouth felt dry.

“Why? Do you?”

Frank could feel his chest spike in pain. Why wasn’t she answering the question? “ No.Of course not! But with the way you’re being so stubborn, I assumed that you wanted to end things and I-”

“-Well I assumed that you wanted to end things with how you’ve been avoiding me like the plague,” Hazel mumbled. Her heart felt so fluttery that she could have sworn that in that moment it became a butterfly and she had to do everything in her power to prevent it from flying away.

“No!” Frank cried, walking towards Hazel. His arms slipped around her and he rested his chin on the crown of her head. He could smell her shampoo and he closed his eyes, relishing in the moment. He could feel his heart but it was no longer racing but instead steady. He felt at peace.

Hazel’s arms wrapped around Frank's waist as she nuzzled her head into his chest. She rested her head there, listening to his frantic heartbeat calm down. She broke the hug reluctantly and looked up at Frank, her eyes wide- innocent like a puppy.

“You’re warm,” She smiled. Frank stared at her lips as they parted into a smile, her entire face brightening. He wanted to melt at the very sight. He leant down and gently pressed his lips against hers. She let out a small squeak of surprise before melting into the kiss against him. Her hands were firmly planted against his chest as his hand brushed against her cheek. She could feel the small calluses on his fingertips from wielding his bow and arrows.

“Does this mean you’ll get rid of the flowers?” Frank whispered.

“No way.” Hazel winked.

#hazel levesque #frank zhang #frazel fanfic #hazel levesque fanfic #frank zhang fanfic #jason grace #leo valdez #percy jackson #pjo #hoo #toa #hoo fanfic #hazel x frank #frank x hazel #frank x hazel fanfic #pjo fluff #hoo fluff #frazel fluff

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moons-and-stars-and-shit · 3 years

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ack hello i'm requesting again because ur stuff is just chefs kiss. anyways, could i have a 🍰? i'm hero, i istp (i used to be intp but i took the test again and got istp) with a 5w4 ennegram. i'm a scorpio, and i'm 5'5 with dark brown hair (that kind of looks greenish sometimes because of a failed hair dying attempt) that is cut into that shaggy emo-eboy type of hairstyle. i use they/them pronouns btw. i have a sort of grunge/mall goth aesthetic, and my personality is kind of bitchy and cold, but when i'm around people i'm close to i can get pretty chaotic. i have a monster energy addiction and i literally don't sleep because i'm stupid 🤠. i like to skateboard, paint, write, watch anime, play video games, and just chill with my friends over discord. i'm a huge procrastinator, and i'm pretty good at school except for math (60% bitchesss). my favorite music artists are the arctic monkeys, the neighborhood, and corpse (agoraphobic is a fucking vibe). i'm pretty dumb, in a like "i have no common sense and will literally do anything if you tell me to" type of way, so my friends have a lot of photos of me doing stupid shit. i curse a lot and make dirty jokes, but if i have to get serious i will (most of the time). i call everyone bro, and i'm kind of awkward with physical touch, though i'm touch starved as fuck (perfect combo i know) LIKES (that i haven't already mentioned): the rain, 3am, noise cancelling earphones, extra polar ice gum, boba, discord, fruity chapsticks, cleanliness (if i get the motivation to clean i like it). DISLIKES: geometry, cold wind, people who say they "are not like other girls", eggplants, large crowds, going to school early, buses, rap music, overly positive people. i hope that's enough and thank you so much <3

Not me realizing i sent you a matchup request a while back while writing this...

Also WTF WE ARE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON

I DEMAND WE BECOME FRIENDS LIKE RN

CW: a LOT of swearing (I’m sorry I got very hyped while writing this)

🍰 for @weeb-mp4

Romantic Matchup

Semi Eita

How yall met

He just saw you around school like all the time

And he really really liked your style

So one day he went up to you and was just like

Ayo Mamacita you cool as fuck when you free bbg ;)))

He just went up to you and was like

Hey your styles really cool

But you didn't answer him…

So he said it again

Still no answer

The poor boy was so confused

Had he done something to upset you?

But he's never even talked to you???

WHY WERE YOU IGNORING HIM?????

Then your friend came over and was like

Rude ass bitch that guy was talking to you

Turns out you had noise-canceling headphones on

You apologized to him and asked what he said

So he told you that he thought you were super cool and if your ever free to hang

You don't know why you agreed to hang out with a guy you just met

Bitch you gonna get kidnapped one day

But you accepted his offer

You guys decided to just go hang out at a nearby skate park

And it was such a simple hangout but yall had a BLAST

You had brought your speaker and asked him what music he wanted to listen to

Turns out yall like the same music!

And yall just skated around and talked a whole bunch

After that day you guys just hung out whenever you could

Honestly, there was never really a confession

People just assumed you were dating after a while

And when someone asked you both kinda just looked at each other and was like

Yeah. we are

What they love about you

He loves your overall VIBEEEEE

Like omg you're so chill

But so crazy

Super caring

But also low key a bitch

You're very smart

Yet you continue to do stupid shit

Your vibe is probably his favorite thing about you

Your style (duh)

It was literally the thing that drew him to you in the first place

Your style s like everything he wishes he could be

E-BOY SEMI SUPREMACY

100% has asked you to give him a makeover

He loves how your down for ANYTHING

He could be like hey you wanna go start a cult

And you'd just be like

Bold of you to assume I haven't started one yet 😐

Let's not get it twisted

This man loves EVERYTHING about you

These are just some of the MANY reasons why he loves you

Favorite things to do together

He loves to recreate the first time you both hung out

And he likes doing activities similar to that

Skating while blasting music

Driving while blasting music

Blasting music and singing along

Basically, anything where music involved

But he also loves having chill moments with you

Such as playing video games together

Or cuddling and watching anime

Random Hc

You got him addicted to monsters

You've created a MONSTER with MONSTERS

see what I did there

Most of your texting happens in the late hours of the night

Like get yo asses to bed smh

And most of your texting convos are about deep shit

Cause yk them late nights really get you thinking

If you're ever uncomfortable with him touching you

Just tell him

He respects you enough to respect any of your boundaries

Ok this next one very very random

But I love it

Hes fucking fabulous with that smudged eyeliner look

Astrology

Scorpio + Scorpio

Compatibility 82%

When emotional baggage is not a part of their everyday communication, the depth both of their minds have will be an incredible stimulus for each conversation they have.

No one can understand a Scorpio intellectually as much as another Scorpio.

Their topics can easily become dark, not because they both want to talk about depressing things, but because they understand each other in areas other people don’t want to deal with.

This is a good way for both of them to discover that they are not alone, and it can be healing for each partner for as long as emotional expectations are not involved.

If they work together and compete to advance to the same position or feel like they endanger each other’s status in any way, their contact can become truly unpleasant and turn to arguing, dismissal of anything said, or in one word – disrespect.

When they start a battle against each other, it cannot seem to stop, until one of them is beaten “dead” and there is nothing more that can be done for them to get back in the game.

If they see each other as adversaries, they will sting each other for victory, meaning they will do whatever it takes to win.

If they distance themselves from a situation, they might realize that none of them actually endangers the other.

To find mutual understanding, they need to lead separate lives and give each other enough room to do so.

Overall Aesthetic

90s Skater Bitchessss

Songs-

Daddy Issues (The Neighborhood)

Sweater Weather (The Neighborhood)

Oh Ana (Mother Mother)

505 (Arctic Monkeys)

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fandom #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu crack #semi x y/n #semi eita #semi x reader #semi x you #submission

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imagines-mha · 3 years

Note

ayo what’s up🤠 could i have the valentine’s day playlist+matchup thing? i'm hero :) i'm a scorpio, and i'm 5'5 with dark brown hair (that kind of looks greenish sometimes because of a failed hair dying attempt) that is cut into that shaggy emo-eboy type of hairstyle. i use they/them pronouns btw. i have a sort of grunge/mall goth aesthetic, and my personality is kind of bitchy and cold, but when i'm around people i'm close to i can get pretty chaotic. i have a monster energy addiction and i literally don't sleep because i'm stupid 🤠. i like to skateboard, paint, write, watch anime, play video games, and just chill with my friends over discord. i'm a huge procrastinator, and i'm pretty good at school except for math (60% bitchesss). my favorite music artists are the arctic monkeys, the neighborhood, and corpse (agoraphobic is a fucking vibe). i'm pretty dumb, in a like "i have no common sense and will literally do anything if you tell me to" type of way, so my friends have a lot of photos of me doing stupid shit. i curse a lot and make dirty jokes, but if i have to get serious i will (most of the time). i call everyone bro, and i'm kind of awkward with physical touch, though i'm touch starved as fuck (perfect combo i know)

LIKES (that i haven't already mentioned): the rain, 3am, noise cancelling earphones, extra polar ice gum, boba, discord, fruity chapsticks, cleanliness (if i get the motivation to clean i like it).

DISLIKES: geometry, cold wind, people who say they "are not like other girls", eggplants, large crowds, going to school early, buses, rap music, overly positive people.

i hope that's enough and thank you so much <3

I just answered ur valentines day card and i love u i hope u like this. I aint gonna lie bro u sound hot wtf date me 🤠🤠 <33

I match you with: SUNA RINTARO

You had me at “mall goth aesthetic” tbh. Monster addiction? The neighbourhood and arctic monkeys? Sleep deprived? Yall really said two peas in a pod smh 😤😤. You would be that couple everyone WANTS to be, like u go skateboarding at 2am and have deep talks while looking out over the neon highway, and you complain about everyone you hate and know theres no fuckin judging whatsoever. your entire relationships a vibe my dude. like he would ask to taste your chapstick for an excuse to make out with you whenever he wants i just know

like mwah. wow. immaculate. heres ur playlist bb:

PLAYLIST

I wanna be yours- arctic monkeys

Apocalypse- cigarettes after sex

Flawless- the neighbourhood

You get me so high- the neighbourhood

Die for you- the weeknd

Strawberries and cigarettes- troye sivan

Softcore- the neighbourhood

R U mine?- arctic monkeys

match ups are still OPEN !!

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu matchups #hq!!#haikyuu x reader #suna rintaro #inarizaki #hq hcs

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asmolbirb · 4 years

Text

A semi-comprehensive list of sexy moments in Love Run (2019) by The Amazing Devil

In honor of them hopefully releasing their new album today, I listened to their first album for the seven thousandth time and wrote down every moment that made my soul sing. I will not be talking (much) about lyrics here because I simply do not have the space to do so!

Love Run (Intro)

When Madeleine joins Joey on “love’s worth running to” and her voice goes up when his goes down. Ya bitch loves contrasting vocal harmonies!

The buildup of the “ahhh”

The quiet amalgam of lyrics from other tracks underlying the “ahhh” in the focus

King

The fact that King is in triple time is already Supremely Sexy

When Joey joins Madeleine on “let the seabirds cry” and the percussion drops out so it’s just vocals and guitar

How breathy Joey’s voice gets at “burning there”

The rhythmic buildup of the percussion under the second set of “let the seabirds cry”

“Every unwanted daughter” is just. Yeah.

Madeleine’s vocalizations under Joey’s “I’ll keep the king”s at the end of the song

Pruning Shears

Can I say “the whole song”? No? Fuck, okay, here we go

The percussive sound of the first verse, made all the more sexy because Joey has a tendency to close to consonants really quickly

(Also in the live version, the way Joey says “car is so kitch”)

The way Madeleine’s lines have overlapping syllables with Joey’s!! This is an Amazing Devil constant but it still FUCKS ME UP

How Madeleine’s line is actually lower than Joey’s at “had it all planned” emphasizing that this line/experience is from Joey’s POV whereas her verses are higher than Joey’s suggesting that her verses are her own POV

The vocalization under the second half of the final chorus !

The “whoa oh whoa oh” after the final chorus !!!

The percussive sound of Joey’s final “in the back” hhhh

Shower Day

Joey and Madeleine’s unison for the entirety of the first verse and chorus really underscores the way they split into harmony afterward

Just. The bi/pan solidarity of the “you” character both “lov[ing] him” and “kiss[ing] her sister” (OR, if you interpret the song like I sometimes do, the closeted struggle of “know[ing] you should love him” but wanting to “[kiss] her”)

The syncopation (hemiolas specifically) at “we’ll wear our eyeliner” !!!! Fuck me up!! (Also the solidarity of the male POV character/Joey wearing eyeliner too! We need more men in eyeliner, this is the future liberals want)

THE REVERBERATING PERCUSSION THAT JOINS IN AT “WELL I’M LOOKING BACK” AND ALSO LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT FOLLOWS. This whole portion of the song is full of so much heartache and desperation and emotion!!

The way Madeleine and Joey sing “For Christ’s sake just say something” in a round

The way Joey says his S’s in the repeated “say something” section at the end

Elsa’s Song

Okay so the fact that this starts off a cappella is massively sexy

How every verse ends with “forget me not”

Everything about Madeleine’s harmony!! It’s the return of the contrasting vocal harmony but turned up to 11. If I listed out every sexy piece of contrasting harmony I would simply have to list out the whole song

The introduction of the rhythmic percussion in the third verse

In general, how Madeleine is really leaning into her sop range here! It’s such a lovely contrast to Joey’s baritone. It’s a treat to hear her sop range shine when she tends to stick to mezzo/alto lines.

Pray

How Madeleine closes to a hum on “mean” in “what holy men really mean”

How Joey echoes Madeleine in the second verse

(How Madeleine ad libs the repeated “I won’t, I won’t pray for” section in the live version)

Madeleine’s ad libbed vocalization directly after the “I won’t, I won’t pray for” section. Heart eyes motherfucker

The repeated “oh oh oh” under Madeleine starting at “why you cannot sleep for sighing”

The harmonic buildup of all the background vocalizations under Madeleine’s final chorus. Like every new measure adds another layer of harmony and it’s just SO SEXY

Little Miss Why So

Suddenly I can’t see through the fucking waterfall taking up residence on my face

This is such a poignant description of depression and how difficult it is to explain to people who don’t get it

The part that fucks me up the most is the accelerated repetition of “it’s so boring” that releases into the a tempo “etc”, simultaneously emphasizing the lover’s frustration and encapsulating the narrator’s apathy. The buildup and release of tension is exquisite.

Also every time Joey joins in is just....incredible. The desperation of “For Christ’s sake, just say something” kills me every time.

But I can’t really in good conscience call anything in this song sexy because it’s all so...gentle and it just hits home so hard

So. Moving on

New York Torch Song

DID U MEAN. MY LIFEBLOOD.

The “fuck you”s both at the beginning and in the bridge

The slide on “tomorrow” in the intro right before the percussion kicks in

Joey’s “bright with every hum, ah-ah”

Joey’s humming under Madeleine’s “watch the fire” in the choruses

How the section starting with “god or devil” speeds up and adds more percussive complexity

The way Joey closes to the consonants when he sings “from within this”. It’s so delightfully sibilant !

How Madeleine laughs as she says “can’t we just talk about this”

The way Joey says “tippy toe tin rooftops” hnnnng it’s already a sexy lyric because of the alliteration but he makes it so much more percussive

THE WAY JOEY FLIPS UP ON “LIGHT” IN “TRICK OF THE LIGHT”. THE WAY HE HAS TO GO INTO HIS HEAD VOICE. THIS WHOLE POST IS SIMPLY AN EXCUSE TO DIE OVER THIS WORD.

Two Minutes

The fact that it’s a live recording and not a studio recording and there are all these little noises and echoes in the background

Madeleine harmonizing with words that are just barely intelligible, right up until she finally sings “I can hear the children calling,” is so damn haunting

The moment when the piano picks up !!!

Not Yet / Love Run (Reprise)

Buckle in kids !!! This song is 8 minutes long and every second is sexy!

The contrast between the gentleness of Joey’s voice and the almost anthemic determination of Madeleine’s voice in the verses, plus the alternation between acoustic guitar and heavy percussion

Madeleine’s “seams” vs Joey’s “seems”, Madeleine’s “hell” vs Joey’s “I held”, Madeleine’s “she’d howl” vs Joey’s “she’d hold”

Just. Everything about the Not Yet chorus. It makes me so fucking tender

Especially Joey’s diphthong in “pirates”; he closes to the long i sound almost instantly and it w r e c k s me

The way Joey says “everyone knows sex is better when you’re unemployed,” especially in the bridge right before the breakdown

(The way Joey says “you can’t dance for shit” in the live version)

The way Madeleine basically growls “Where is God, ma / Where’s the vodka”

The harmonies under the bridge right before the breakdown

The fact that Madeleine sings Love Run (Reprise) when Joey sang Love Run (Intro)!!! Inversion bitchesss

Joey’s entire verse in Love Run (Reprise) hhhhh -- it’s just rife with all his little vocal tics that make me absolutely feral

The vocalizations beneath the main track that start at Joey’s verse and continue through the end of the song

The tradeoff of “love run” between Joey and Madeleine

Madeleine’s “all that matters is that you’re here, all that matters” is so haunting and beautiful and sexy

The brief moment of acoustic respite at the start of the third verse

THE SHOUTED/GROWLED “RUN”S UNDER THE SECOND AND THIRD CHORUSES AAAAA

In conclusion:

This post was brought to you by a bisexual disaster who is an Amazing Devil stan first and a functional human second

I’m almost definitely missing some moments because I only listened to the album like twice while I made this post so please feel free to add your own sexy moments

Please, Joey and Madeleine, for the love of god release The Horror and The Wild, I am starving--

#the amazing devil #joey batey #madeleine hyland #love run #the horror and the wild

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ya0i-san · 4 years

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I’m back bitchesss

Hello everyone!! I am so sorry I have been MIA for *coughcough* a couple years... I’ve been really neglecting this blog. This year has just been so crazy for everyone I feel. But I’m definitely hoping to be a lot more active!!

Feel free to message me anytime as I love talking to my followers!

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lady-divine-writes · 5 years

Text

Stray

Crowley keeps bringing home strays even though Aziraphale tells him not to. They’re going to get in trouble. But this last one is the one that makes Aziraphale start thinking hard about his place on this planet - and whether it’s actual worth being a Principality or not. After all, he’s an angel, right? Shouldn’t he start doing what people - and demons - think angels are supposed to do? (1551 words)

(AO3)

It’s 2:45 on a Friday afternoon when the bell above the door in Aziraphale’s shop rings, and he freezes. He’d been happily cataloging his newest acquisition, his Tolstoy collection, and the time had flown by. But 2:45 is the hour he enjoys least, especially on a Friday – after final bell, when kids from the schools nearby come in with their mothers looking for used copies of whatever passes for classical literature these days.

The lynchpins of their latest assignments.

Why schools don’t seem to want to provide books for their students, Aziraphale can’t understand. It shouldn’t be too hard. After all, one doesn’t require a first edition of Chaucer’s works in order to complete a five-page essay. Aside from that, there are three other bookshops within a ten minute walk from his that handle the sale of mass market paperbacks.

Why does everyone feel the need to stop by his shop first?

Then they have the gall to get angry when he tells them he doesn’t have what they’re looking for and no, he can’t order it, because it’s not worth his time and trouble. What you see on the shelves is what you get, so please take your mediocre book list and your poor attitude and shop somewhere else.

Or call ahead. Save everyone the aggravation.

It probably doesn’t help that, in the grand scheme of the universe, he’s not that particularly fond of children, or their parents. He’s an angel. He loves people in the general sense, and some specific people more than the bulk. But for the most part, he’d rather just be left alone with his books.

If he’d known it was creeping up on 2:45 on a Friday afternoon, he would have closed up shop over an hour ago.

Without even knowing who they are or why they’re there, he considers this customer a harbinger of doom. Therefore he’ll see to their needs (if he can) and then close up shop immediately after.

Then he can enjoy his Tolstoy in peace.

In the silence that accompanies the ringing of that bell (since he’s holding his breath) he hears two sets of footsteps shuffling through the shop.

One he recognizes.

The other makes him roll his eyes.

He sets his shoulders, hurries out past the stacks and shelves, and without looking at his husband, he says, “No.”

“Aziraphale!”

“Crowley! This is the fifth time this month!”

“I know, I know, but this is different!”

“That’s what you always say!”

“But this time it’s the truth!”

“Crowley! You can’t keep bringing them home with you! We simply don’t have the space to keep them all!”

“Aziraphale …” Crowley tilts his head and cocks his hip “… that is the weirdest thing you have ever said to me. We’re supernatural entities!” Aziraphale hushes his demon, but Crowley doesn’t drop his voice a whit. “We can make space! Literally create space! Look! I’ll snap my fingers and make a new back room to your shop, easy peasy!”

Crowley lifts his hand, but Aziraphale puts his hand over it, fixing him with a deadly stare.

“Don’t. You. Dare. Crowley! It’s not just about the space! You can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep bringing in every single sad story you find on the street!”

“Aziraphale, you don’t understand …”

“Yes, I do! I do understand! But, I’ve told you …” Aziraphale stops when he feels his temper rising, knowing that his voice must be climbing with it. He can’t forget, they’re not alone, and the other one among them might be confused and scared “… parents raise their voices at their children. And sometimes they spank. I don’t particularly approve of the practice myself, but it doesn’t mean they’re bad parents! You can’t keep kidnapping kids from their parents and nannies! Someone’s going to be by with the police soon! Now take him or her home!”

“This wasn’t a misunderstanding!” Crowley pleads, chasing down Aziraphale as he storms off to the refuge of his private workspace. “You weren’t there, angel! You didn’t see what they were doing to him! They were yelling at him! A-and hitting him!”

“Spanking him?”

“Hitting him! Look at his eye!”

Aziraphale crosses his arms over his chest, decidedly unmoving, done with this argument before they’ve truly gotten started.

“Look, Aziraphale!” Crowley gestures toward a chair in the corner – a corner that was once a reading room sort of set up until it, too, became overrun by Aziraphale’s massive book collection, very few of which ever actually leave his shop. Sitting in the chair is a tiny waif of a creature; his body, curled tight over his arms wrapped around his stomach, thinner than it probably should be; his dark, straight hair matted over his face. He sniffles but fights to stay quiet, trying to keep from making a sound. Maybe he thinks if he makes himself small and silent, he’ll be invisible. Aziraphale knows this.

He’s seen it before.

“You know, there are authorities to handle this sort of thing,” he says, but with none of his usual fire.

“Yeah, and when’s the last time authorities have ever done anything worth two shits when it really mattered?”

Aziraphale isn’t trying to be purposefully cold. He’s trying to come up with a solution. As ironic as it sounds, angels can’t save everyone – not the way Crowley thinks they should. Aziraphale’s job is to inspire humanity, teach them to love one another, care for one another. He’s not supposed to interfere too much. Though now that taking on actual assignments from the head office are less of a concern for him, and he’s gotten the opportunity to pick and choose who he helps and how, he’s often wondered what good his overall job does anyway. Look at the accomplishments of humans by way of actual humanity.

Besides, the last person who came to Earth preaching kindness and compassion, they nailed to a cross.

Aziraphale approaches the boy, walking towards him slowly so as not to frighten him. The boy doesn’t look up, but he goes visibly rigid, and Aziraphale’s heart does a double thump. As Aziraphale gets closer, the boy begins to shiver, shaking so violently by the time he reaches him, the legs of the chair knock the floor. Aziraphale doesn’t touch him. Instead, he gets on his knees and looks up at him the best he can. The boy tries to hide his face, but before he does, Aziraphale catches a glimpse of his eye – along with the other cuts and bruises marring his face, one that quite vividly resembles a cigarette burn.

“Good Lord,” he whispers, getting back to his feet, backing away and leaving him be. He straightens his vest, glancing at his husband pacing beside him, too worked up to stand still. “And where, exactly, do his parents think he is?”

“I’ve made them believe he’sss run off,” Crowley hisses in agitation. “I wanted to rack them with guilt, but …” He scoffs “… they’re not even looking for him. Sonsss of bitchesss.”

Aziraphale dusts the knees of his trousers, fusses with his tie. “Fine, then. He can stay. And we’ll … we’ll figure things out.”

The boy stops shaking. He goes a little less rigid. A moment later, he starts to cry. It’s a sound that hits at the heart of Aziraphale because it’s neither good nor bad. It’s both, and that’s when he knows he’s in trouble.

Crowley isn’t wrong. They need to do something because, often times, no one else will. This isn’t an isolated incident. Aziraphale knows that. And as much as he goes on about Crowley’s newfound habit of kidnapping children (probably prompted, in part, by Warlock’s parents moving him to the states) there’ve been a handful that Aziraphale, steadfast in his convictions, felt uneasy sending home to their parents.

But that also means Gabriel, as much as Aziraphale hates to admit it, is also not wrong.

Being a Principality in this day and age is kind of a sick joke.

Inspire humanity?

Sometimes Aziraphale wonders what’s left to inspire. And good luck appealing to the faithful. So few people have faith nowadays as it is, and those who claim to tend to twist it to fit their own agendas.

It’s made him bitter, and somewhat hardened to the plight of men.

But he’d be a hypocrite to persecute them for that. Angels have done the same for millennia, and he’s not immune. He recognizes that he himself has quite a bit to atone for, and not with regard to the temptations he did on Crowley’s behalf, but for the work he’s done in the name of God.

Especially where it comes to children.

There have definitely been times when Crowley, a demon, has had humanity’s best interests at heart better than he.

Aziraphale walks to the front door, motioning for his husband to follow. He throws the locks and switches the open sign to closed, beginning to devise a plan for what will undoubtedly become they’re newest acquisitions together. He turns to his husband and puts his arms around him, hugs him tight until Crowley hugs him back.

“My dear?”

“Yes, angel?”

“Why don’t you go ahead and make me that new room. I have a feeling … we’re going to be needing it from now on.”

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #frankie writes #good omens fanfiction #aziraphale #anthony j crowley

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koreanboyswriting · 5 years

Text

In Translation Pt. 1

Words: 4k

Genre: Fluff and Angst

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (Feat. All Members)

✨ Notes: IN TRANSLATION IS BACK BITCHESSS! I finally rewrote part 1 just a tiny bit differently, but I have so many ideas for part 7 (I think that’s what's next?? lol) and I’m planning on updating soon!! Keep an eye out lovelies!

Light wasn’t even streaming in the window yet, it was before dawn and the sun was still nestled in its bed, the moon still at its peak. Your bed was all to inviting and cozy, the covers were pulled up to your chin and the comforter was just the perfect amount of weight to want to keep you in bed. You were exhausted, you had stayed up all night excited and nervous for the new spot that your agency was going to put you in. Apparently, a k-pop boy group was going to be doing a lot of American press for a few months and you were the best English/ Korean translator they had. The position was of the upmost performance and secrecy as they were a very famous and popular group. You had been working at the translator agency for a little over a year now so your managers and colleagues trusted you, but they were required by the music label to keep the identity of group a secret till the day of because the music label was afraid you would tell someone and cause a media storm before they were ready to announce the news.

You were excited but wary because several of your coworkers had worked with k-pop groups before and had described them as snobby and stuck up, and those were just the girl groups they said the guys were worse. They thought they had a right to everything because they were attractive, rich, and famous. Some of my coworkers even said that the members would proposition them or make passes at them. And though all of this turned me off, the opportunity was too good to pass up, the money was great, and if they needed to travel they would pay you extra to go with them, and you got free time to yourself if you were to go on trips with the group. Getting paid to travel sounded like a dream and you weren’t turned off by all the bad things you heard because you were sure you could handle yourself, Korean men were worlds different than American men. And you definitely had experience dealing with them, Koreans by comparison were angels because you rarely met a Korean man who would force himself on you with the confidence that American men had, they each had their flaws though, which you got to experience firsthand; being that your mom was Korean and your father was from New York.

They fell in love when your mom had come to the States for school, which made your childhood very different from other kids. Your mom moved to America to be with your dad and they had you and your younger brother, Cameron, this meant constant trips to Korea with your mom for weeks at a time in the summer, it also meant that Korean was your first language and elementary school was a struggle to learn English while all the other kids were lightyears ahead of you. It also meant you took funny things in your lunch to school and got teased, while the other kids had peanut butter and jelly you were eating kimchi. You were definitely thankful for it when you were older though because you got to skip through all the required language credits in high school and college. And though being a translator wasn’t your dream job you loved doing it because switching from English to Korean was as easy as breathing now and you could speak both without an accent. Plus, in Korea everyone needed and wanted to learn English so you made easy money and did really well for yourself. Korea was also really beautiful and you needed an escape from the States, and all you that left behind there.

You rolled out of bed and looked in the mirror and even though your exhaustion was written in the lines of your face, you decided that today of all days was the day to look your absolute best. You showered and went through your morning routine meticulously putting extra care into your makeup and each brush of your hair. After you finished you went to your closet and pulled on a black long-sleeved dress and your over-the-knee boots. Black was required part of your work uniform; the agency didn’t mind what you wore as long as it was all black, which meant your already all black wardrobe was put to good use. You threw on your favorite pink coat for color and paused in front of the mirror. You were already taller than most Korean girls thanks to your father’s American blood and you were unsure if heeled boots would be your best option, being that you didn’t want to be taller than the boys. But fuck it you looked great and if you felt great and the boys were intimidated then maybe they would be less likely to push you around.

You pulled up to your agency building at 9 o’clock exactly and walked in the door only to be steered out by your boss and the owner of the company, Kim Byung-hee. Your boss tightened his grip on your arm as he yanked you to the side of the building, you tripped after him the heeled boots not helping with your already clumsy nature. Once he was satisfied that you were mostly hidden from street view he started rambling off in hurried and anxious Korean.

“Y/n this job is if the upmost importance and I need you to listen to every single word I say.” He breathed heavily looking at his boss, then began to whisper faster, “The group you will be translating for is BTS,” your eyes widened but you quickly composed yourself. “You need to do every single thing they ask, and I mean EVERY SINGLE THING,” you opened your mouth to protest, but Byung-hee looked at you with a murderous look in his eyes and you shut your mouth right away. “I don’t care if the ask you to fetch water for them or demand you to clean their clothes, if they like our agency they will come to us for all future translation jobs, this is very important do you understand me?”

You started to think about what this job really meant to you and if this was something you were readily willing to accept. You had always thought that your boss respected you, hell, even liked you and enjoyed your company, but you now truly saw what you meant to him and what all his employees meant to him, but you needed the money and you had already committed yourself to the job and if you turned him down now then he would never give you a job again. So, you looked up into his eyes with grim determination and nodded your head. Your boss sighed with relief and his shoulders sagged and he looked at Byung-hee as if to say, “see I told you she would agree.” Byung-hee looked at you with approval in his eyes.

“If you do your job well, I’ll see to it that you get promoted to recruiter and a raise may be able to be negotiated onto the table if you play your cards right.” He stuck out his hand to you, and you shook it excited about the possibility but weary of how far you were willing to go to get it.

After the somber conversation, your boss and Byung-hee escorted you inside proud of themselves for manipulating one of their employees into doing what they want. You began to sink in on yourself and question why you were really chosen for the job, at first you had thought it was merely based on skill, but now you were thinking it was because you were a woman. Many of the translators at the agency were women as well but they all specialized in other Asian languages like Japanese, Mandarin Chinese, and Thai. You were the only woman who did English translations the rest of the Korean-English translators were men. Of course, the men wouldn’t want another man working with them they would want something to manipulate. You were becoming more and more disgusted with BTS by the second and you hadn’t even met them yet. Whereas, you initially gasped with excitement, that excitement was quickly festering into anger and frustration. You pulled yourself back to the present and tried to focus on the words Byung-hee and your boss were telling you.

“Now we’re not sure if they will need you to travel, it’s highly unlikely since they have a very close team of people that have been working with them for years, and probably will not want to take on someone so new, also accounting in that Kim Nam-joon already speaks English. But he might want the help.” Byung-hee and your boss continued on and once again you faded out of the conversation until your boss called your name.

“Y/n! Y/n! Are you listening?”

“Yes sir! Rapt attention.” You straightened up in your chair and pulled your face into one of seriousness and business-like calm.

“Big Hit is sending a car to pick you up and take you to their offices where you will meet each of the members of BTS, Mr. Kim will be there with you when you meet them, but not the entire time as he will be discussing a contract for you with their managers, while you are meant to get comfortable with the members and how they want you translate things.” He paused and looked at you, “Do you understand?” he probed.

“Will I get any say in the contract?” You asked, finding that at least here you would put your foot down.

“You will only be consulted if they request you for travel, otherwise the contract will be the same as many others that you have done, they may require a non-disclosure agreement, but it’s nothing too different than before.” You nodded your head in relief, finally assuaged in some sense, feeling like you had control over at least one small thing.

“Big Hit is outside,” Your boss looked down at his phone and then continued to speak and Byung-hee got up and exited the room leaving you alone with your boss. “Remember everything that you have done before applies here, treat them as you would any other respected official you’ve worked for before.” You nodded getting up from your chair, and making to leave the room, you could see Byung-hee out the window already greeting the driver and whoever was with him.

You had your hand on the door handle when your boss grabbed your arm gently, “Look y/n I didn’t want to put you any situation that would make you uncomfortable, but Mr. Kim gets like this whenever we do any high profile jobs with k-pop groups, please understand, and let me know if you have any problems, you know my phone is always available, and I will do anything that’s within my power to help you, should you need it.” You softened at his connection, finally sure that your boss really did care for you, but some matters were still out of his control because at the end of the day he was an employee just as you were. You nodded your head and gave him a hug, “Thank you Mr. Lee,” You bowed your head, and he smiled at you like a father would as you left the room, giving him an unsure smile through the glass door as you walked down the stairs and out the front doors.

Byung-hee opened the door for you and you got into the black SUV, buckling your seatbelt. You looked up and Byung-hee was introducing you to the driver and one of BTS’ bodyguards. You smiled and reached forward and shook the driver’s hand, who introduced himself as Yi Daejong, insisting you called him Dae, as every one of the boys did. You smiled and then extended your hand to the bodyguard, who seemed permanently stone-faced as he introduced himself as Gi Deok-su, you shook his hand and he offered you a gruff nod as a hello.

Dae took off winding through the streets at a fast although not uncomfortable speed, you arrived at Big Hit Entertainment in minutes as you fiddled with your fingers in nervousness, it seemed you were good at hiding it though as Byung-hee chatted to Dae, happiness conveyed easily in his tone. Dae leaped out first and opened the door for you, as Deok-su opened the other for Byung-hee. Dae extended out his hand as well to help you down and he gave you a warm smile, you knew then that Dae was someone you were going to enjoy their company for however long you were with BTS. You walked around the car till you were facing the front of the building, from the ground it easily looked about ten stories, it was all stone and glass, built to last but also to inspire elegance and sleekness. Dae and Deok-su guided you and Byung-hee up the stairs and into the building. The interior was clean and modern, there were two white couches facing each other with a metal and glass coffee table in-between, this waiting area was opposite a massive white and glass desk that stood in front of a large trophy case displaying several gleaming trophies. You looked around in curiosity trying to memorize everything to tell your only friend, Eun-a later. Dae called your name to get your attention and you bowed your head in apology and hurried after them your cheeks blazing. You walked down the long hallway passing several offices and dance studios, people working hard within all of them, when your entourage suddenly stopped, and it took all your balance to keep from bumping into the back of Byung-hee. You walked into the meeting room and sat down in a leather rolling chair next to Byung-hee as Dae left the room to fetch whoever we’d be meeting next.

Your looked down at your twiddling thumbs as BTS’ main manager, Manager Sejin, walked into the room. He looked in a rush and you didn’t know whether to speak or stay quiet till he said something, Luckily, your inner monologue ended with him speaking first.

“Hello, I am Mr. Sejin. I am BTS’ main manager the boys will be in here shortly to meet you and then we’ll leave you…” He trailed off looking at you to fill in your name, “Hi sorry,” you gasped, “I’m y/n.”

“Great, y/n, I will leave you alone with the boys to get better acquainted. First, I need you to sign this non-disclosure agreement, which basically says that we won’t sue you as long as you don’t reveal any private information or business information to anyone, got it?”

You nodded quickly and picked up the pen he set down in front of you and hurriedly scratched you signature into the thick paper. He pulled it up just as you finished and extended his hand to Byung-hee.

“Sorry to be curt but we are in a bit of a rush today as BTS will be having an over the phone radio interview today so you will need to be well acquainted with the members in thirty minutes while Mr. Kim and I roughly outline a contract in another room, they will be in shortly.”

Byung-hee gave you a stiff nod as he swept from the room already speaking fast in hush tones with Mr. Sejin, who had his ear inclined to Mr. Kim, nodding intently. You sat there wondering how long shortly would be, when BTS came shuffling into the room.

You stood up quickly, and sucked in a breath, holding it, not sure what to with yourself. They all looked as if they just came from one the dance studios you had passed on the way here, they were all wearing Puma in varying amounts. V and J-Hope were each wearing a full Puma tracksuit, whereas Jin and Suga were only wearing hoodies, and Jimin, RM, and Jungkook were each wearing different colored and fit track pants. Sweat glazed each of them in a light sheen, but it was as if they were glowing, not dirty. You had seen their faces plastered on billboards, and flashing across TV screens for years, but none of those did them justice to how beautiful they were in person. RM was the first one to introduce himself, he walked around the table to you as each of them made themselves comfortable, V, Jimin, and Jungkook plopping into chairs, while J-Hope and Suga leaned against the wall, and Jin stood neatly next to the table. You turned your attention to RM, who was holding out his hand a welcoming smile on his face.

“Hi, I’m RM, but you can call me Namjoon,” he introduced himself in English, you smiled and meekly cleared your throat, “Hello, sorry I’ve been speaking in Korean all day, I’m y/n.” You blushed and tried to keep your calm.

“No need to apologize, I completely understand, switching back and forth can be hard sometimes,” You smiled back nodding in agreement as Namjoon began to introduce you to the group, switching to Korean, “This is Jin.” Jin reached across the table, shaking your hand politely and giving you a small wink. “This is J-Hope.” J-Hope moved from the wall and walked toward the table to reach and shake your hand, “You can call me Hoseok,” he gave you a beaming smile, making you smile back just as warmly. “This is Suga.” Suga moved from the wall as Hoseok did, and stretched out his hand to shake yours, “Call me Yoongi,” He gave you a small smile, his eyes conveying his disinterest. “This is Jimin.” Namjoon went on as Jimin ran his fingers through his hair and extended out his hand to you, you smiled and shook his hand as he gave you a little smirk. “This is V—.”V cut him off and stood from his chair to lean across the table and shake your hand, “Call me Tae,” he smiled at you as if you were something to eat, and shook your hand firmly clasping the other side of your hand with his. Namjoon rolled his eyes, though there was laughter in them as he spoke again, “And lastly, this is Jungkook.” Jungkook didn’t move from his chair, just leaned forward and extended his hand, his eyes smoldering and holding your eye contact a beat longer than necessary, after your hands came apart.

Hoseok and Yoongi moved from the wall and settled themselves in chairs next to the other members, as Namjoon sat down next to you.

“So, do you think I need the extra help?” Namjoon spoke up in English and the other members turned to each other and began talking, uninterested in your conversation. “Well me personally, I think your English is fantastic, I guess Manager Sejin, just thought you’d get tired of continually translating,” You shrugged your shoulders at the end of this feeling at ease around Namjoon, as he had an intellectual, but warm air around him. “Well, thank you,” He puffed up his chest in mock pride, but quickly chuckled all the air leaving his chest.

“Means a lot from a native speaker, I’m guessing…?”

“Oh, you noticed?” You smiled at his astute keenness to others around him, “I was born in the States, so my first language was Korean and my mother and school taught me English at the same time.”

Namjoon nodded, and turned towards his members, who quieted down as they noticed his attention only Yoongi kept talking to Hoseok till he realized they were all quiet.

Namjoon effortlessly switched to Korean, “Alright guys were doing the radio interview in fifteen and y/n will be here to translate everything they say, you can answer back in English if you want, if not I’ll translate for you, cool?” They all nodded in response, and you smiled at them doing your best to be open, you looked at them and noticed Jungkook still giving you the same intense eye contact. You turned away and began talking to the other members about which English phrases they were comfortable with and taught them some simple ones to say back. You were resolutely looking anywhere besides Jungkook and you noticed him smirking from the corner of your eye, and you decided to busy yourself with taking off your coat as Manager Sejin walked into the room with Byung-hee. Byung-hee looked extremely satisfied with himself and you didn’t want to know the bad news before you had to, so you focused on your clasped hands in front of you and smiled pleasantly at Manager Sejin. He looked at the boys and began explaining the parameters of the interview, to which they all nodded, mouths closed in respect to the elder speaking. Mr. Sejin then pressed the accept call button in the intercom phone at the center of the table and we were greeted by the booming voice of Michael Thompson from TheDailyScoop.

“Hey there to all, my ARMY’s out there we have BTS on the phone today, can you guys say hello?” Namjoon looked up and counted down from three, to which they all announced together, “Hi, we are BTS!”

After the interview was over the atmosphere relaxed, Namjoon thanked you several times for identifying words that he didn’t understand. And the members all looked at you with more respect in their eyes as you had proved yourself to be of some benefit to them. You felt proud of yourself, as Manager Sejin seemed to be very impressed with you and Mr. Kim looked pleased at your performance. Manager Sejin began to talk with the members about their upcoming press tour as Mr. Kim pulled you aside and began to whisper into your ear.

“Y/n, if you do well these next couple days Mr. Sejin is considering bring you onto their American press tour, so perform well and you’ll have the position we talked about available to you the second you come back.” You nodded trying not to show the excitement on your face at the opportunity. You straightened your posture and listened attentively as the members to Mr. Sejin as Mr. Kim excused himself from the room pressing his phone against his ear.

After Mr. Sejin finished addressing the members, he turned to you, “I’ll need you back here at 8 a.m. tomorrow as we have important matters to discuss regarding the next interview, this will be live, so the environment will be very different.” You nodded to show your understanding and all the members rose together, you following suit and grabbing your coat from the back of your chair. Mr. Sejin exited first, followed by Jin and Namjoon who called out his thanks once again. Hoseok, Yoongi, and Jimin left next laughing loudly at something Hoseok said, this left you with Tae and Jungkook. Tae winked at you and left immersed in his phone, and you finally moved from your standing position the side of the room towards the door only to be stopped by Jungkook as he blocked your exit. He was entirely way too close for a business relationship, so you stepped back, so you could look into his face instead of his lips. He was wearing all black and it suited him very well, and even though he still glistened with sweat, he still smelled of his amber cologne, mixed with salt of his sweat, it was pleasing aroma, and it drew you in like an embrace, but you weren’t about to get star-struck in front of this man, who clearly knew how attractive he was. So, you fixed your face with a mask of cold indifference and finally met his intense gaze.

“Can I help you with something?” You said in your business voice.

“No, no, I’m okay,” He responded, you stepped to the right in an attempt to go around him but he blocked your exit again. Now you were getting frustrated, you were about to open your mouth with a retort, when he placed his finger over your lips and leaned down to your ear, “Shhh… I hope I’ll be seeing you around.” He brushed his hand across your lower back and exited with the door clicking softly behind him.

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kisselicioussss · 5 years

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I haven’t posted but omg my life just is a roller coaster and I hope everyone has had a great fucking first weeks of January. Yuhh we in moths fucking 2019 bitchesss ❤️ show some love Im here for anyone who needs to talk.

Just don’t be on that creeper shit unless you sending $$$$

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beaniegara · 6 years

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trying to save you (from all of the things that I'll probably say or do)

ship: eugene/zach (zagene) rating: pg-13 warnings: alcohol mention and consumption, self-worth issues. tags: friends to lovers, angst, angst with a happy ending, sorta sickfic at first, introspection on eugene's part, eugene's pov show: the try guys. partner: @lilnyckyj prompt: allergies, for @thebuzzfeedchallenge!

summary: zach is sick so eugene makes sure he has everything he needs at home, including food. and that's when he realizes.

a/n: I’m super late and I’m so sorry! :c but here, have some zagene ♥

[ao3 link]

“Zach?”

Eugene closes the door behind him and toes out of his shoes. He’s not wearing socks. The cold under his feet is more than welcome after the frankly outrageous hot weather he experienced outside. The foam container he’s holding isn’t helping, warm to the touch. He knows that it smells good when Bowie comes out of Zach’s room, pawing happily towards Eugene.

“Hey, buddy,” Eugene says, crouching down to give him a good rub behind his ears and a kiss to his head. It’s almost a bad decision: Bowie tries to reach for the package and nearly topples Eugene over. “Hey, hey,” he laughs, standing up and keeping the food out of Bowie’s reach. “This is for your dad. Be nice.”

“Bowie, stop hogging my friend!” Zach’s whine comes down the hallway. Eugene laughs.

After laying the food carefully on top of the fridge, he goes to Zach’s room. He’s not surprised to find Zach in a nest of sorts. His friend lies amidst sheets, pillows, and what looks like half of his wardrobe. He looks small, sad, and quite honestly—

“Pathetic,” Eugene says, stopping for a second at the door, then walking inside to feel Zach’s forehead. “You can’t be that bad .”

“Oh yeah, and how can you know? Do you have a stuffy nose that won’t stop running like the goddamn Niagara Falls?”

It all comes out in a rush, very much through his red nose. He sounds a lot like Donald Duck.

“Stop acting like a baby and get up, I brought you food.”

“Food?” Zach looks hopeful, but that immediately turns into a scowl. “Food? I don’t know if I can eat today.”

“Too bad, because you will. Come on.”

Eugene offers a hand that Zach takes, letting Eugene help him out of bed.

“And what I mean by that is that it can’t be that bad that you need to cocoon yourself like this,” he motions to Zach’s mess of a bed as they head to the kitchen. “It’s not even, what, 80º outside?”

“It’s comfy, though,” Zach says, and Eugene can’t contain a smile – even a slightly amused one.

Bowie follows them happily into the kitchen, wagging his tail. Zach starts to pull out plates, but Eugene stops him, takes the plates from his hand, and indicates the table with his head, “Sit.”

“You know, I really am not that bad. I’m just being dramatic because I hate this.”

“I know. But you’re taking too many meds at once and I don’t like that,” Eugene says simply. “Your tiny body can only take so much.”

“Wow, thanks, man.”

“That was a compliment,” Eugene says as he finishes setting up the table and reaches for the food on top of the fridge. “You need carbs, but you also need meat to keep functioning like a human being, so I brought two dishes, actually.”

He makes sure to set everything nicely on the table, opening container after container until Zach can see all that he has brought with him.

“Oh my god, this looks so good.”

“It smells pretty nice, too.”

Zach just gestures dismissively at his stuffed nose, “I’ll have to take your word for it. How much was it? I can transfer what I owe you.”

“Shut up,” Eugene says, dropping a generous portion on Zach’s plate first before getting some himself. “I told you, this is on me. You owe me nothing more than a couple of nights babysitting my babies.”

“Eugene, that is hardly payment, I enjoy doing that. Besides, this is like the third time this week you’ve brought me food.”

It is. Eugene hesitates only for a second, because it hadn’t occurred to him that he has been here on Monday, Tuesday and today, Thursday, making it the third time that week alone. Zach has the week off, fighting an allergy-turned-mild-cold that comes and goes around this time of the year. And it’s not like Eugene has been the only one over – Keith has been keeping tabs on him, too, and even if Ned is trying to avoid Zach, not wanting to risk getting Ariel sick, he personally rearranged Zach’s schedule so that Zach wouldn’t have to miss anything important that week. Really, Eugene is not doing more than his part here.

Or so he tells himself.

“I don’t want your money,” he says. “Just, you know, get better so I don’t have to babysit you. And so I can go back to babysitting your dog.”

Speaking of which, Bowie is sat between them, eyeing one and then the other with the cutest eyes Eugene has ever seen. Zach laughs, “You’re just using me to get to Bowie.” He takes his first bite and closes his eyes, groaning. “Oh my god, Eugene, I love you. This is amazing.”

Eugene’s heart skips a beat. He does something with his hands that makes the piece of broccoli he had on his fork go flying through the room.

He’s not sure what just happened, but he can’t meet Zach’s eyes. He doesn’t have an answer either, so he stuffs his mouth with food instead. Something’s not right. He’s overwhelmed, surprised, and speechless, all at the same time.

It doesn’t make any sense; his mind is just a swirl of what the fuck’s and fuck me’ s. He doesn’t know to react, so he focus on gulping down mouthful after mouthful. Zach doesn’t seem to notice anything’s out of the ordinary. “I can barely taste anything but what I can taste is tasty as fuck and it made me realize I was starving, so thank you,” he says.

“Sure, no problem,” Eugene answers, risking a glance. Zach’s not looking at him, busy with his food. Eugene looks down again.

This. All of this. It feels too... intimate? Maybe. They are alone, having lunch together. Lunch Eugene has brought Zach, for the third time that week. It all feels too fucking cozy, too—

Too domestic.

Eugene loses his appetite all of a sudden. He manages a couple more bites, but he starts to feel anxious - his palms start to sweat, and he has the urge to get out of there. This is not a full-blown anxiety attack but it's close enough to make him stand up, cleaning out his plate and giving Zach some lame excuse about needing to be back early for a shot. He’s gone before Zach can say anything.

It’s not until he’s in his car, driving back to work, that he starts to put his thoughts together. First things first: the thing about coming over several times, well... It's not likes it's something new. He isn’t just worried now because Zach is sick – although, yeah, he has been extra worried this week –, he is always worried about him. Not in an overprotective way, just... Thinking about him. Wondering if he’s alright. If he needs anything. If he’s as happy as he should be.

That’s something a friend would do, of course, Eugene reasons with himself, but the panic building inside of him tells him otherwise. He is kinda, sorta, ridiculously attached to Zach. Everything he abhors, from spending the night watching films on a couch that’s too small for the both of them, to missing Zach’s texts when he doesn’t text him in the morning... That’s not something he does with everyone else.

That’s not something he does, period.

“Hey,” Kelsey puts a hand on his arm as Eugene walks into the office half an hour later, too dazzled to have even seen her. “You alright there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, why?”

“I don’t know,” she gives him a once-over, as if trying to find out what is wrong. “You look like you just saw a ghost or something.”

You could say that, he thinks to himself.

“Too much in my head,” he says, giving her a smile that he knows will convince her. It does. “Gotta go, but we’re still on Friday, right?”

“Of course!”

They part with a flying kiss from her, and Eugene goes to his desk. It’s still early for most people to have come back from lunch break, so he has at least an hour until the desks around him are busy again. Except for Zach’s, which has been empty all week; a post-it on his screen says, in Ned’s handwriting, “GONE TO HONOLULU! BYE BITCHESSS”.

The thing is, Eugene thinks as his login screen loads, he likes Zach. That much he can admit to himself. But where does friendly affection end and romantic interest begin? He hasn’t been in many relationships, always avoided them when he could. It just doesn’t work for him – that’s how he’s wired, and he doesn’t think there’s any point in trying to fight it.

But then he thinks back to Zach’s kitchen, about how he can easily find his way in his apartment. He thinks about Zach’s laugh, the dorkiest and yet most adorable thing Eugene can think of, especially when it's early in the morning and Zach can barely open his eyes. He thinks about all the times one of them was out of town, and about how it has become second nature to him to text Zach all day when that happens. He thinks about the times he’s entertained the idea of kissing Zach and blaming it on the alcohol – and the two times he actually went through with it.

Hiding his face behind his hands, Eugene sighs. This doesn’t sound good. At all. He wonders briefly if he should drop by Zach’s after work to check on him, to make sure he hasn’t left Zach with the wrong impression, but of course he hasn’t. Why is he so worried about what Zach is thinking? Why should he worry about that?

He tries the opposite of what he usually does. Instead of shutting himself off and ignoring whatever it is he is feeling, he lets his mind wander. He thinks about being with Zach – being here meaning more than just hanging out together. He wonders what it’d be like to kiss him, completely sober now, with no excuses. He wonders what it’d be like to be the one Zach texts first, and realizes with a jolt that he might as well already be. Suddenly the idea of maybe cozying up together on that tiny couch at Zach’s isn’t all that weird, which is weird in itself, because since when does Eugene think about cuddling?

Soon his coworkers start to come back from the break, and Eugene has to pretend he is incredibly focused on whatever is open on his screen. That forces him to actually pay attention to the work at hand, putting a stop to the storm inside his head.

Eugene doesn’t want to think.

Better yet: he doesn’t want to think about that. He needs to think. He needs to put his mind on work, because that’s where he should be putting his mind on, anyway. This is a crucial time, and they have a lot on their hands – Eugene has a lot on his hands already, without the added anxiety of having to think about his friend who he may or may not harbor feelings for.

It’s kinda ridiculous, he chides himself once, when he’s at the break room, getting a cup of coffee. His mind wanders to that Thursday, again, the nth time it has done so that week. He thinks about how easy it is to be around Zach; how comfortable he feels to open up cabinets in his kitchen and in his bathroom; how safe he feels when it’s just the two of them, no cameras, no nothing. He thinks about being around himon camera, and how much more fun and much more at ease he feels when Zach's there filming wih him, no matter how stupid the video they’re doing is.

Coffee spills over his cup and onto his hand. It burns - he hisses and dabs a bunch of napkins on his hand, cursing under his breath. This is not who he is. He’s not one to be getting distracted at work thinking about soft hands and easy smiles. This is not who Eugene has worked so hard to become.

So he starts avoiding Zach.

It’s for the best, he tells himself. And it’s nothing too on the nose, either. He makes sure that Zach still has everything he needs while he’s at home - and even when he’s back at work the next week - but he avoids being alone with him. Avoids being too close, or too intimate. Strict business, his demeanor says, and Zach starts to look at him a little odd, but doesn’t push it. He’s too nice for that. Besides, he has always respected Eugene’s space.

No one tries to ask if anything’s different, even though Eugene catches Keith watching him when the four of them are in a room together. No one ever does because Eugene has mastered the art of concealing his emotions, and so it doesn’t show that he feels, well, like crap. Inside and out, he feels like he’s trying too hard to just be. He pulls a muscle at the gym on a Monday, two weeks into this new Avoiding Zach routine. His skin is all sorts of wrong, and his products aren't helping. He keeps forgetting things, from his keys to the time of meetings, which is new to him.

Everything sucks, but no one notices it.

Maybe it’s for the best, he reasons with himself.

That’s until he’s had more than his fair share of cocktails at one of Buzzfeed's parties. It feels like the entire office is there, more so than in past years. It’s one master event, and the place is so big that people are spread out in clusters, a lot of them already occupying most couches and benches. He has been talking to Kelsey – Impicciche, not Darragh –, Annie, and two other people he’s sure he’s learned the name of, but can’t remember anymore, when someone touches his elbow.

He turns to find Zach, no glasses, holding a cup of something reddish in color.

“Eugene, can we talk?”

“Mmmmm,” Eugene pretends to think about it, then, “Nope.”

He pops the ‘p’, and Zach snickers, “Please? I know—I know this isn’t the best place but I can’t stop thinking that you’re mad at me and this has been eating me from inside out forever now, and I really, really wish you’d just talk to me—”

“We don’t have anything to talk about,” Eugene says, slurring a bit. He has had a lot to drink. A lot. He realizes that when he considers just walking away, both from Zach and from the group he has been standing with, and his legs take quite longer than usual to understand the command. “I don’t have anything to say,” he adds, raising both hands. He fails to notice he has spilled some of his own drink.

“Ok!” Zach says, rather defensively. His face is flushed, and if Eugene were a little less drunk off his ass, he’d see Zach’s had plenty to drink, too. “But I do have something to say. Or actually, to ask. I have things to ask. And I don’t know, man, I can’t just corner you at work, that would be a dick move, even if this is technically work but not really, because we’re not being paid to be here tonight... Sorry, I’m getting carried away, but seriously, can we—?”

He touches Eugene’s elbow again, using his head to indicate that they can step aside, closer to the bushes, away from the group. He is looking so good tonight, Eugene thinks – he almost looks like he’s glowing under the artificial lighting, the pale of his eyes more clear than ever, his cheeks rosy from the alcohol. Eugene looks down at his lips, and his stomach does something weird, like somersaults. Zach doesn't look nice, he looks gorgeous. His hand has left Eugene’s elbow, because he doesn’t force contact if Eugene doesn’t let him, he never does, and fuck, why does he need to be so nice all the time?

“Fine,” Eugene says, walking away with him. If only to hear more of his voice, which he hasn't been hearing a lot of lately – avoiding Zach comes at a great cost, he concludes.

Zach just walks them a little to the back of the crowd, so they can hear each other better, and maybe not be heard by anyone else. They’re outside, and it’s quiet beyond the perimeters of the party – they can’t hear anything else in the neighborhood, and it feels almost otherworldly to be there that night. It certainly feels weird to want to touch Zach’s arms, and his face, when Eugene is standing this close to him.

“So,” Zach starts, clearing his throat. “I just—I just, you know, I wanna know if I’ve done something wrong? If I’ve hurt you, or—I don’t know, if, if—You’ve been distant, Eugene” he says, looking up at Eugene.

And fuck, man. Fuck. Eugene can’t deal with Zach’s big, beautiful eyes, looking up at him like that – nervous, sad, hurt. It makes Eugene feel like the biggest jerk ever, and all he wants is to make Zach understand that nothing is his fault. Nothing about this is on him, it’s all on Eugene, and he shouldn’t be the one looking at him like that.

“It’s for the best,” Eugene says, repeating the words he has been saying to himself a lot lately.

“What do you mean, ‘it’s for the best’? Whose best? Why is that the best for anyone?”

“Because it is! You don’t want me fucking up your life, do you?”

“Eugene, what the fuck?” Zach looks confused. “Why would you fuck up my life? What’s going on?”

Eugene looks away, shaking his head. He feels embarrassed. He understands, deep in his core, that this is all his fault. For letting himself feel any of this, feel this way towards one of his closest friends. Just how dumb is he, really? It’s not like he doesn’t know what would happen. What is happening.

“Forget it,” Eugene says, but Zach is adamant.

“I can’t forget it, not when you’re trying to keep me away from you.”

“It’s—Jesus Christ, Zach, it’s the other way around. You got it all wrong.”

“Yeah? And how exactly did I get it wrong, Eugene?”

“I’m trying to keep myself away from you so I can stop feeling the way I feel about you.”

A pause. Zach stares at him.

“Which is...?”

“This,” Eugene gestures to himself, which in his mind makes perfect sense. He’s showing Zach the walking mistake, the man that can’t get attached, the man that’s bound to make a mess and hurt him and just— “I can’t hurt you. I just can’t. I don’t want to and I don’t think I can fucking handle it.”

“Well, that’s good,” Zach starts, but Eugene isn’t finished; he feels the words tumbling out of his mouth before he has processed them.

“Because that’s what would happen if I let myself have feelings for you, or if I let myself get too attached to the idea of being with you, because that’s who I am. I—I fuck up, I make messes, and I don’t—I don’t know how to be with anyone, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way before,” he laughs, incredulous. “Fuck me, I’m in my thirties, it’s way too late to learn this shit. I just can’t.”

Zach doesn’t say anything at first, staring at him, wide-eyed. Eugene is trying to stop laughing, but he’s now giggling uncontrollably, looking at Zach.

“This is ridiculous. Isn't it? How a person can fall for a friend and ruin one of the best friendships, relat—work relationships he’s ever had? Of course I’d do that,” Eugene opens his arms wide, takes a couple steps back. He’s grinning from ear to ear. He says even louder this time, “Eugene Lee Yang, a fucking moron!”

“Stop that,” Zach says.

“I don’t care if they listen.”

“I don’t mean that,” Zach gets close again, tries to take the drink away from Eugene’s hand. “I mean, don’t call yourself that, don’t—You’re not a moron.”

Eugene bats away Zach’s hand, keeping the drink close to his chest. He doesn’t remember what’s in his glass, but it doesn’t matter, because he knows it’s alcohol. Just what he needs, and will always need. At least drunk he doesn’t need to worry about a thing, he doesn’t need to hide or calculate his words. Zach looks weird, now – his smile has dropped, and his eyes look shiny, and he’s not looking Eugene in the eye.

And that’s when Eugene understands what he has just done.

“No,” he says, heart starting to beat faster. “No, fuck, forget I said anything.”

“You can’t ask me that.”

“I just did. Please, Zach—”

“You know, I think we should have this conversation some other time,” Zach looks at him, immediately winces, and looks away. “I—I should go.”

“Zach—” Eugene tries, but Zach steps around him and then away, not looking back.

Eugene’s heart tightens as he watches Zach’s hunched figure dart between the crowd before he vanishes from sight. It’s a stupid muscle, Eugene gathers, and he must’ve pulled it too because it hurts, now. Not something he has ever felt, but like his heart is a tiny bird flapping its wings very fast, trying to fly out of a cage that’s a size too small for him. It keeps throwing itself against the bars, hurting, hurting, hurting, and it never stops, it won’t stop. Eugene feels sick. He chugs the rest of his drink, trying to quell the awful feeling in his chest; the liquid burnshis throat on the way down.

It hurts, and it doesn’t stop hurting the next day. His head is exploding when he wakes up just after lunch, mouth dry and stomach lurching. He hasn’t thrown up in a long time, but if it continues like this, he might be bending over his toilet later. After he has taken care of his most basic needs – water, peeing, a toast to keep his blood pressure where it should be – he checks his phone.

One name stands out in his notifications, and it all comes back to him. His heart clenches again, thinking about the night before.

Zach.

Eugene regrets opening his mouth, but he doesn’t blame the alcohol. If anything, he blames himself. He should’ve known better – he does know better, and fuck, since when does he let any kind of feeling dictate how he should behave? Since when does he let his heart, hurt as it is, dumb as it is, take the reins?

The message simply says “can we meet?”. It was sent around 10 a.m., because of course. Zach probably has a headache, too. He always has when he drinks too much, even if his too much is miles away from Eugene’s too much. Eugene groans just thinking about it. He knows Zach so well, and he knows himself so well – why did he need to say anything?

He texts back with a “Sure”. He’s far from sure, but he owes Zach this. If he can at least explain it, explain why he didn’t say anything before and why he was such a jackass, then maybe... Maybe Zach will just leave it all behind.

Maybe.

After some more awkward, emoji-less texts, they settle for 4 p.m. at Eugene’s place. It gives him enough time to shower, order in some lunch, get onto some important emails. He calls his mom, too, when he’s sure she’s not at church. It’s a weird conversation; he doesn’t know how to explain why he sounds so tired, or why he’s giving one-word answers. He wants to tell her, even if just to let it out of his chest, but this is not something they talk about. They never have, and they’re not starting now. She wouldn’t be comfortable with the topic, and he probably wouldn’t either.

His apartment starts to feel very suffocating.

He does his best to clean up after he hangs up, opening the blinds, changing the towels in his bathroom, taking out the trash. It helps him keep focused, even if his head is still sore, and his thirst never ending.

Zach is there at 4 p.m. sharp.

It’s a weird thing to have him there, in front of him. Eugene is scared when he opens the door, which is something he isn’t expecting to feel at that moment. Zach, wearing a cap, hands hidden inside the pockets of his hoodie, smiles.

Eugene tries to smile back, but his heart is doing that stupid thing again.

He doesn’t want to lose Zach. He doesn’t want to see that smile any less. He doesn’t want to walk on eggshells around him because he doesn’t know how to keep his emotions in check.

“Hey,” Zach says, walking inside. He doesn’t look uncomfortable, which is good, but he does hesitate, standing in Eugene’s living room before he crouches down to rub Pesto's belly. “Should we, uh… Should I sit down? Can we sit down?”

“Of course,” Eugene follows, but doesn’t sit next to him on the couch. He perches himself on the only armchair there is. Emma is taking the seat, so he opts for the arm.

They are in silence for a couple of seconds before Eugene says, “I think I have—No, nevermind, I don’t. Water?”

Zach chuckles, “No, thanks. I’m guessing all you have to offer is alcohol?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

They laugh; Eugene feels his shoulders tense and tries to relax, but it’s hard. He’s hugging himself, almost, arms crossed in front of him. Zach looks small on his couch, like he’s trying not to take too much space.

“About yesterday, I think I should—"

“Wait, Zach, no,” Eugene interrupts him, sighing. He lets his head hang low for a brief moment before he’s looking Zach in the eye again. “I need to apologize. That’s the first thing that’s happening here. I was… Well, I was a dick yesterday. And I…” He tries to find the right words for this, but nothing sounds right in his head. “I don’t know, I think I had some kind of breakdown. I shouldn’t have sprung that on you. I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.”

Zach watches him, patiently. When he’s done, Zach looks down at his hands and nods.

“It’s alright, I wasn’t—You were drunk, we were bothreally drunk.”

“Yeah, well, that’s still no excuse,” Eugene says, mumbling the words. Zach smiles at him.

“You’re right, it’s not.”

There’s a moment of silence in which their eyes meet.

“Did you mean it?”

Zach’s voice is so low and soft, it’s barely a whisper. Eugene hesitates, mouth hanging open as he tries to think of a way to answer that at the same time that it dawns on him that Zach was most probably holding back tears the night before. The glasses he's wearing now catch his attention, reminding him of how at the party Zach's eyes were clear, shining with tears. He doesn't know how he missed that.

“I—” He stops, wets his lips. “Yeah. I did mean every word of it.”

“So you have feelings for me?”

Eugene nods. He’s proud of himself for not avoiding Zach’s eyes when he does.

“But you don’t… like anyone.”

A beat. “I don’t. Usually.”

“Wow,” Zach blinks, looking down at his fingers again. “A lot to process there.”

Eugene can’t help but chuckle a little, because yeah.

“Why did you act like that was a bad thing, though?”

“Because—” The words die on his throat. Because maybe this isn’t real and I’d only hurt you, he thinks. I’d ruin our friendship by starting something that’s not gonna last. He doesn’t have the courage to say any of this, not right now. Something inside of him is screaming for him to not say it. The part of him that thinks that this is different. That this is not just a fling that may be worth keeping around. He and Zach have known each other for so long now, they know each other so intimately well, it’s absurd. They have talked about everything under the sun, except maybe the things Eugene tends to keep for himself. But he realizes in that split second that he wouldn’t mind maybe - who knows - sharing those with Zach, too. Slowly, someday. The idea of sharing some of the things hidden in the corners of his mind with him isn’t so bad. Zach means all the good things Eugene can think of, including...

Home.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Eugene finally says. His voice cracks a bit.

Zach’s eyes on him are soft, understanding. “Neither do I. No one does, I think.”

“Ned does,” Eugene argues. “Keith does, too. Shane and Sara—”

“Well, maybe some people do,” Zach stops him right there, shifting forward so he’s on the edge of the couch. “But not everyone. I certainly don’t, you know I haven’t had a relationship in forever.”

Eugene shakes his head, both negating what he just said and also to shake off any tears or uncertainty from his voice. “It’s different.”

“How?”

“You’re—” Eugene gesticulates, trying to find the right way to say what he has only felt so far. “You’re open. You wear your feelings on your sleeve and you’re fine with it. That’s how people should be in a relationship. I—I’m guarded, closed off, I—I don’t know—Fuck,” he presses the heels of his hands against his eyes, refusing to let himself get teary-eyed. “I’m not a good partner, ok? I just know that. And you don’t deserve it. Not that I know what you deserve, all I know is that you deserve someone better than me.”

There’s the rustling of fabric before Eugene sees Zach has walked over and is now kneeling in front of him, one hand on Eugene's knee. He’s looking up at him, the corners of his mouth curving up; he looks lovely. He islovely, and this is too much. Eugene wants to touch him, wants to caress his cheek, wants to just know how his skin feels like in a touch that lasts longer than a mere second.

“I disagree with everything you just said, and that’s fine, because you’re wrong,” Zach says, making Eugene laugh. “You’re so worried about not being good enough that you haven’t even asked me how I feel about this.”

Eugene doesn’t know what to say, so he just looks at him.

“I like you, Eugene. Like, as fuck. As in, I want to hug the hell out of you and also maybe have some crazy, hardcore sex, all in one. Or maybe we don’t hug all that much because I know you’re not crazy about hugs, and I completely understand that.”

“Wait, what?”

“I must say, though, that I’ve been pretty vanilla all my life so I pictured more of a slow buildup for our sex live. If we were to have one, of course. Not that I’ve been fantasizing about you but we’ve talked so much about sex, it just comes out like this, sorry.”

“You like me?”

Zach gives him the softest smile Eugene has ever seen, and yeah, Eugene’s heart has stopped throwing itself against its cage; it flies free now, everywhere, giving him the sensation of… fucking hell, butterflies in his stomach.

“Yes, I do. Very much so.”

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“Look who’s talking!” Zach shoots back, laughing. “But nah, I didn’t think you’d reciprocate, you know? Like, even if you somehow looked at me that way despite all the gorgeous people you’re usually making out with, I figured you’d worry about making it weird between us.”

“Well, yeah. We work together.”

“All the better. Office sex,” Zach jokes, and Eugene almost chokes on his own spit, bursting into laughter. “No but seriously, we’re grownass men, we can handle a possible breakup. Although I don’t think we will have to.”

“We don’t even have anything to break—”

Eugene doesn’t get a chance to finish. Zach stands up to reach his face and kisses him, just a press of lips that shuts Eugene up instantly. It’s surreal. It’s what Eugene has been dreaming about doing for what? months now. It’s all Zach - Zach’s soft lips, Zach’s aftershave, Zach’s entire being and existence just in reach...

“Now we do,” Zach says as he parts, smile so big Eugene can’t help but open one of his own. “Please don’t breakup with me, though.”

“Are you sure about this?”

Because as much as Eugene wants this, and oh god, he wants it so much… As much as he wants this, he still fears what the future holds for them. He’s still unsure about his ability to give Zach all that he needs, all that he deserves, and he’s terrified that he’ll eventually hurt him. But Zach kisses him again, this time closer, harder, and Eugene finds himself holding him by the waist as Zach’s arms sneak around his neck.

“I’m sure,” Zach says against his lips. His voice is an octave lower, and Eugene is so terribly, ridiculously in love. “We’ll talk about this, but for now can you do me a favor and just kiss me until I can’t feel my lips? Thank you.”

Eugene grins, and kisses him again.

"Wait, wait, wait," Ned says, smirking. "I got this. The gift from Eugene was... a collar."

The room explodes in laughter as Ariel slaps his arm.

"What? It's possible! They're two consenting adults..."

"That would be hilarious," offers Keith, red-faced from laughing too hard and from the wine he has been nursing.

"Jesus Christ, can we not talk about our sex lives this early in the evening?" Zach says, but he's laughing. Eugene has an arm around his waist, so he feels Zach shaking with laughter under his touch. "I'm gonna need way more beer for that."

"Good idea!" Eugene kisses his temple and walks out of the room, towards the kitchen. He runs into Becky coming back and asks her about the drinks; she directs him to the right fridge.

It's when he's bent down, piling beers on his arms, that he hears whistling. He turns around just as Zach says, "Damn, I'd so tap that."

Eugene laughs so hard he nearly drops a bottle. They manage to get six of them on the counter, and Zach uses the opportunity to say, "You think we should tell them?"

"Only if you want to. I mean, I think we'll enjoy Venice a lot more if Ned isn't texting us every ten minutes. But if you want to tell them, I don't mind. It's your present, so it's your call."

"Nah," Zach rests his chin on his hand, leaning on the counter. "They're having too much fun to trying to figure it out. But if we get stranded on a desert island on our way there and need them to find us we're so fucked."

"We're fucked either way if that ever happens, but I promise not to eat you."

Zach smiles, "Aw, baby! Thank you! I promise not to eat you too."

They laugh, and Zach leans forward to give Eugene a peck on the lips. "Happy anniversary," he says.

It's been a year, but Zach's voice still sounds like music to Eugene's ears. He can't contain his smile when he replies, "Happy anniversary, Zach."

#zagene #fic #not bfu #nwrites #buzzfeedchallenge

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