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writingforstraykids · 2 months

Note

I keep thinking about dilf!Felix like him being your besties dad or something….

-🎀

I swear I've been staring at this for so long, debating if I should do a full fic or just some thoughts. Well, thank my dear Azzy @galaxycatdrawz for this, because you made his thoughts go wild. Basically I just had to transform his whole little plan into a fic. There will be 2nd chapter (including smut) but have fun with this for now.🖤

Finding home in your heart

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader (mention of Minchan | Jisung)

Word Count: 7571

Summary: Felix got cheated on by his wife repeatedly and ends up heartbroken after the discovery. His adoptive daughter, your best friend, tells you the whole story and asks you to move in as you're struggling to find a place. Your only problem; you had a crush on Felix for ages and living with him isn't making it easier...

Warnings/Tags: angst, emotional hurt!comfort, fluff, insecure!lix, domestic shit, baking, cuddles, slowburn (ig?), first kiss, age difference (8 years, it's legal since this fic is for adults, chill out)

PART TWO

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

Felix’s love life had been nothing but a steady stream of predictable days blending into years. He would have never doubted his beautiful wife and would have never second-guessed her love for him. They had gotten married early and soon found out his wife was incapable of carrying his children. So, after some consideration, they adopted a young girl and raised her like their own. She had grown into a smart young woman, and Felix couldn’t be more proud of her. Given the age gap of only ten years he had always been rather close with her and later you, her best friend.

One night he decided to surprise his wife, coming home early as his daughter was staying at yours. What greeted him wasn’t the usual warmth and coziness of his home but the sight of his wife in a certain setting no man wants to find the love of his life in with another man. For a moment, Felix found himself frozen in place, the safe foundation of his life slowly crumbling away beneath his feet. He whispered her name in disbelief, only to find out that this had been going on for years. Felix felt like his whole life shattered to pieces and the betrayal left an ugly taste of bitterness on his lips. How the hell was he supposed to get out of this?

“And then she just left,” your best friend ends her story, and your eyes grow even wider than they have already been.

“You’re kidding?” you ask, shocked.

“Apparently, she said something about how this shit has been going on for years, that she never really loved him, and that she’ll leave until he finds a new place,” she rages on and paces her bedroom angrily. “Oh, and I’m just another burden he talked her into,” she scoffs, and your frown deepens.

“You won’t stay here, right?�� you ask cautiously. You can’t imagine she will, but still.

“Oh, hell no. I’ll go with Dad, she can piss off,” she shakes her head and drops onto her mattress. “The perk of being not related to her is that I can push her out of my life for good,” she snorts, and you gently pat her back. “I feel so bad for him,” she sighs.

“It must’ve been a huge shock,” you nod, your heart feeling heavy. Felix has always been kind to you from day one. Whenever your family was struggling, he helped out, even if it was simply by taking you with them to theme parks, the movies, or shopping. Felix was only eight years older than you and ten years older than your best friend, so the older you got, the more he felt like an older friend instead of your best friend’s father. Also, he was stunningly handsome, but that wasn’t relevant right now.

“He’s trying to hide it, but I know how shitty he feels right now,” she tells you worriedly. “I mean, he’s never been with anyone else and-.”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” you assure her gently. “He has such a kind heart, I’m sure someone will love him, truly.”

“I will thoroughly check the next person. You’ll have to help me then, go all detective on them,” she smirks, and you agree, laughing.

A gentle knock at the door interrupts you, and Felix opens the door flashing you a tired smile as a greeting before glancing at his daughter. “Channie called, he has a spare place we can have.”

“Just like that?” she asks baffled.

Felix chuckles weakly and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, just like that. I told him I’d pay, but Minho insisted they don’t need the place, and it’s all paid off.”

“How convenient,” she smirks and rolls her eyes. “Typical uncle Min,” she grins.

“Yeah,” he laughs and sighs softly. “You think you can get everything ready in the next few days?”

“You really can’t wait to get out of here, huh?” she laughs, and his smile dies, eyes clouding with pain.

“Yeah, I guess,” he nods and clears his throat as his daughter looks at him apologetically. “Well, let me know when you’re hungry, and we can order something,” he announces, putting on a smile and quickly pulling the door closed.

“See?” she whispers. “That’s exactly what I mean.”

You hum gently and pat your best friend’s knee. “Well, I can help you move, I have nothing to do those next few weeks.”

“You’re so sweet,” she giggles and hops up, ripping the door open. “Dad, Y/nnie says she’s gonna help us move our stuff!” she shouts downstairs.

“Lovely,” Felix shouts back halfheartedly and flinches as his daughter slams the door closed again. “Fucks sake, this woman,” he snorts and stands still in the living room for a moment. He chews on his lower lip as the many memories he made in this very room crash over him like a wave, trying to drown him. “You’re such a dumbass,” he whispers to himself.

“No, you’re not, she’s just a massive bitch,” you speak up gently, suddenly standing in the living room with him.

He blinks at you with wide, confused eyes before a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Mhm, you could say that. Doesn’t make me any wiser, letting her fool me for the past ten years,” he huffs softly and rubs his face. “I just feel bad for her,” he says, and you know he means your best friend upstairs. “All I always wanted for her was a stable home after everything she went through.”

“Look at her, you did great,” you tell him, and he chuckles weakly.

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this,” he waves you off and blinks at you surprised as you offer him a hug. He accepts it after a short moment of hesitation and bites back a laugh as you pat his back encouragingly.

“You’ll be okay…she’ll never find someone better, so fuck her. It’s her loss,” you tell him, and Felix snorts before letting go of you and grabbing his phone.

“We’ll see,” he hums softly, subtly bringing some distance between the two of you again. “You’re gonna stay for dinner?” he asks, and you gently shake your head.

“I promised Mum I’d be home for dinner today,” you tell him, and he nods gently.

“You need a ride?” he offers, and you wave him off.

“I’ll be fine, promise,” you assure him and exchange your goodbyes.

One week later

You put down the boxes you carried inside and look around with wide eyes. “Wow, Min wasn’t lying. This place is huge.”

“Right? I didn’t quite believe it as well,” your best friend giggles and puts down her boxes as well.

“Why would I lie about that, huh?” Minho asks playfully offended, adding some boxes on the floor next to yours. “You think we’d give your dad and you some shabby place? You think that lowly of us?”

Chan pokes his side, making him squeak and giggles as Minho playfully raises his fists to fight him. “Relax, no one’s calling you a liar, baby.”

“Sure hope so,” he teases and naturally intertwines their hands, pulling Chan with him. “You haven’t seen the view from up here yet,” he announces and waves you after him.

You follow the pair of them onto the huge balcony, and your breath hitches. From up here, you can see parts of the city and the ocean, and still it’s so peaceful up here.

“How’s your dad, kiddo?” Minho asks your best friend after a moment of comfortable silence.

“Worse than he admits,” she answers, and Minho hums gently. “If you ask me, he’s fucking heartbroken and feels worthless. If you ask him, he’s okay and just a little caught up in his thoughts,” she further explains.

“Give him time,” Chan tells her gently and sighs, looking down at the ocean. “Ten years is a lot, you know?”

The door to the balcony opens, and Felix steps outside, laughing at you all. “Seriously? You’re out here enjoying the view while I’m carrying all those boxes?” he asks, and you all start laughing before hurrying back inside to help him.

Once everything is inside, Minho and Chan give you a tour through the house and you wonder what Felix and your friend would do with all this space. The couple soon leaves again to give them some space to settle in.

Your best friend strolls through the house and frowns softly. “You’re alright?” Felix asks her, frowning softly. “I know it’s not home, but we can make it work, it’ll just need some time and-.”

“Dad, home is wherever you are, relax,” she laughs, and Felix nods, stunned, looking adorably touched by her words. “I just…this place is huge.”

“It is,” he nods. “I have no idea what the hell they had planned for this.”

“Nothing useful, as Min put it,” you chime in, and Felix grins at your remark.

“I’ll feel so lonely here if you’re at work,” she speaks up after a moment, and Felix’s face softens.

“Dear, there’ll be a point in your life when you move out and everything. I won’t always be around,” he says, and she glares at him.

“Don’t say shit like that, you’re only ten years older than I am, it’ll take a while,” she points out, and he snorts but gives in, remaining quiet. “Y/nnie, how’s the hunt for a flat going?” she asks.

“I already told you it’s shit,” you sigh softly, not quite picking up on her true intentions behind that question. “It’s either too expensive or so much out of town it’s not exactly convenient.”

“Oh, you’re going to move out?” Felix asks, busying himself with one of the boxes.

“I want to, my parents could use the space for something else,” you nod.

“Dad?” she asks, drawing out the word with a sweet tone.

“What do you want?” he asks, not even looking up.

“She could move in with us,” she says, and you frown at her. Felix looks up, confused, and tilts his head at her. “She can’t find a place, I worry about getting lonely here…you could use some more company as well before you’re fully depressed and-.”

“Will you stop?” he snaps at her. “I’m not depressed, I’m fine besides the fact that I got cheated on after wasting ten years of my life,” he continues and shakes his head at her. “Stop reading into it that much, I’ll start believing you at this point.”

You lower your gaze at the floor and awkwardly shuffle on your feet. “Gosh, relax,” she sighs. “That just proved my point.”

Felix throws the contents of the box back inside and pushes himself up. “I’m getting some fresh air. And yes, you can move in if you want to, it’s not like we’d lack space or whatever,” he says before leaving the two of you.

“Nice one,” you sigh softly.

“What?” she groans and rolls her eyes. “You know I’m right.”

“And that makes it better?” you chuckle, and she huffs softly. “Fine, fine, I’ll go apologize…but would you?”

“I don’t know,” you sigh softly. “I’d feel like I’m intruding,” you argue gently.

“Never,” she shakes her head firmly. “Also, you’re here every day anyway, so nothing changes,” she grins before sighing softly. “Dad?” she shouts, and you roll your eyes at her.

Should you? Move in with your best friend and her heartbroken, conveniently handsome adoptive father? That could only go wrong, right?

You join them on the balcony and sigh softly, meeting your best friend’s eyes. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

She shouts in joy and pulls you into a tight hug, hopping excitedly. “You’re the best best friend I could’ve ever wished for!”

“Yeah, yeah,” you chuckle and roll your eyes playfully, catching Felix smirking at the two of you.

Three weeks later

You hum to yourself as you make your way from the kitchen to the living room area. Your best friend is staying the night at her boyfriend’s, and Felix is out on Stray Kids duty, as you jokingly call it. So, for now, you have the whole house to yourself. You moved in fully about two weeks ago, and your new room is bigger than you ever dared to imagine. There’s an attached bathroom as well, and your few things look ridiculous, trying to fill up all that space you have now.

You grab your phone and check your messages before scrolling through some news. Refreshing the page, a new article appears on top, and you realize it’s about Felix. Curiously, you click on it, and your eyes widen, realizing it’s about what happened with his wife. You read through it and smile sadly; Felix seems to have tried putting it as respectfully and vague as he could. You don’t support what that woman did for years one bit, but you also know how their fans can get so you’re glad Felix tries to stay neutral in public.

You glance up from your phone as the front door opens downstairs, and Felix comes up the stairs only a little later. Looking at him, you can tell he was crying, and your heart sinks to your stomach, seeing how tired he looks. His eyes meet yours, and you swallow softly as he stops in his tracks as if he just remembered you live here as well. “You’re okay?” you ask softly, and for the first time in weeks, Felix shakes his head.

“Not really, no,” he admits, his voice a little raspy. You can tell he’s fighting back tears, and you gently pat the spot next to you on the sofa. Felix momentarily searches your eyes before moving forward and dropping down on the sofa next to you. “I know it’s my own fault because I took off my wedding ring but I didn’t expect them to ask already,” he tells you quietly and nervously fidgets with his hands. “Chan told me to be honest before she comes up with something that’ll drag me down.”

“I think you’ve handled it quite well,” you tell him gently, and he groans in response.

“Already online, huh?” he sighs, and you hum softly. Felix throws his head back against the sofa and stares up at the ceiling. You can’t help but take in his side profile and let your eyes wander down his neck. “I hate this.”

“Hate what?” you ask gently.

“I have to have an explanation for everything as if I’d know why she cheated. Maybe it’s because I’ve been gone often with all our schedules. Maybe she got bored. Maybe she just saw past that facade of fame and sunshine behavior and realized I’m not as lovable as everyone thinks I am,” he huffs, making you frown at him. “Maybe she never loved me in the first place, and I can’t even blame her for that.”

“Stop it now,” you scold him firmly and Felix turns his head, blinking at you. “Have you ever considered that maybe she’s just a massive bitch and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you?”

“Not really, no,” he shakes his head and sits up straight again. “That’s rather unlikely, isn’t it? There’s always a reason people cheat.”

“Sometimes it’s simply stupidity,” you insist. “Not everything is your fault, Felix.”

“Why does it feel like it then?” he asks quietly, and your heart breaks at the desperate glint in his eyes. “Why does it feel like I’m the one who fucked it all up? And why doesn’t she care one bit, and I’m here feeling like complete shit?”

“Because you loved her,” you say quietly and watch his face fall. “She didn’t try to make it right, did she? She didn’t protest when you suggested a divorce.” Felix shakes his head, eyes brimming with tears. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe she never loved you for who you truly are. Maybe all she saw was the fame, the money, the places you went to…but how is that your fault?”

“I…I should’ve known,” he says quietly, his lower lip quivering a little.

“You can’t know that shit if they’re good at hiding and pretending. Who knows how long she could’ve kept up that show if you hadn’t come home early that day?” you ask, and Felix avoids your observant gaze, staring down at his hands. “The only thing you’re at fault for is beating yourself up for this and thinking you’re worthless.”

Felix remains quiet and presses his lips together tightly as hot tears run down his cheeks. His hair falls into his face as his head hangs low, and you can only tell as he sniffles softly. You hesitantly reach out for him and rub his back soothingly. Felix whispers an apology and buries his face in his hands, a quiet sob rippling through his body. You don’t know where you get the confidence from, but you move before you can reconsider what you’re about to do. Wrapping your arm around him, you pull him into a warm embrace and gently rub his shoulder. Felix tenses up briefly before he relaxes into your touch, allowing himself the comfort you spend.

It doesn’t last for all too long, and Felix pushes himself off the sofa, messily wiping his cheeks. “Sorry, I shouldn’t-,” he stammers and exhales shakily. “I shouldn’t dump this all on you.”

“I don’t-” you start and shut your mouth as he raises his hand to stop you.

“I know you don’t mind. I know,” he says and shakily wipes his cheek. “That doesn’t make it any better. I appreciate you trying to help, but I’ll go before I start unloading even more nonsense,” he sniffles and flashes you a sad smile. “Thank you, though.”

“You’re welcome,” you nod gently and watch him leave. Only then do you notice your heart racing in your chest and the wet patch of his tears in your sweater. “So much to keeping boundaries, Y/n,” you scold yourself, rubbing your face tiredly.

Felix closes the door to his room and buries his face in his hands with a soft groan. “What the fuck are you doing?” he whispers and stands still for a moment. What is he doing, sobbing in his daughter’s best friend’s arms? Is he going insane? Felix closes his eyes and tries to forget how comfortable your hug felt, how good you smelled, and how soothing your presence was to him. “Fuck,” he whispers into the emptiness of his room.

One week later

Your heart thumps loudly in your chest as you walk down the hallway, clutching your visitor pass. Your best friend asked you to pick up Felix from work tonight because she had to work late and would then stay at her boyfriend's again. Would he think weirdly of you for it? He's been avoiding you a little after that emotional breakdown a week ago, and you can't blame him.

You reach Chan's studio and knock gently, letting yourself in.

“Oh, Y/nnie,” Chan greets you cheerfully.

“Haven't seen you here in a while,” Minho adds curiously.

“Yeah, uh, I have to pick up Felix,” you say, and they frown.

“I thought-”

“No, she's working late and staying at her boyfriend's or something like that,” you shrug your shoulders.

“She asks you to move in so she isn't lonely and leaves all the time,” Minho shakes his head, amused. “Well, at least someone's keeping an eye on Lix, then.”

“Mhm, yeah,” you nod. “Where is he?”

“In the practice room down the hallway. Uh…he's in a shit mood today,” Minho tells you.

“Define shit mood,” you chuckle.

“Everything is shit, nothing works, he's useless,” Chan sighs softly and shakes his head. “We tried.”

You sigh heavily and roll your eyes. “Fine, I'll do my best.”

“Good luck,” Chan giggles.

Only a little later, you open the door to the practice room and slip inside. You frown as you spot Felix stretched out on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. “I swear, Channie, if you're here to tell me another bad joke that's supposed to make me laugh, I'll snap,” he announces.

You stop next to him and tilt your head at him. “Not Channie,” you say. “What's that supposed to be?” you ask, vaguely waving at his current position.

“It's my new favorite yoga position called utter depression,” he says dryly and throws you a peace sign. “That's I'm a failure, what's your name?”

“Chan wasn't lying,” you nod slowly.

“Did Chan call you? Seriously?” he asks, sitting up on his elbows.

“No. In fact, it was your lovely daughter asking me to come pick you up. She's working late, and then she'll stay over at her boyfriend's.”

“I still can't believe she asked you to move in so she wouldn't be lonely, and now she's barely home,” Felix snorts and groans softly.

“Mhm, you guys are repeating yourselves, Min said the same thing,” you tell him and gently poke his side with your shoe. “What's going on, Mr. utter depression?”

“Nothing, as you can see,” he sighs. “I fucked up during practice today. Minho only didn't call me out for all the mistakes because he felt sorry for me at the time,” he tells you.

“And that led you down the good old road to self-hatred?” you ask, sitting down on the floor next to him.

“Maybe,” he answers vaguely.

“Surely,” you correct him. “Lix?” you ask gently, and he turns his head toward you. “Have you eaten yet?”

“No,” he shakes his head as his eyes trace your features.

“We could take a walk and grab some food on the way. We don't have to talk or anything. It's just for you to clear your head and empty all that garbage you keep up there,” you tell him, tugging a small smile at the corner of his lips.

“Yeah, okay,” he nods.

You exchange your goodbyes with Min and Chan, who secretly throw some hearts your way when Felix isn't looking. Idiots.

After that evening, it all got easier again. You didn't talk much that day, but the fresh air, bright lights, and warm food had lightened Felix's mood immensely. Over the following two weeks, you two grew closer, and Felix allowed himself to be more open. With your best friend gone quite frequently, it was often only you and him.

The more time you spent together, the more you realized how ridiculously perfect Felix was. His beautiful brown eyes, soft features adorned by all those sweet freckles, and blond hair falling around his face made your stomach flip. His sweet smile and even prettier laugh made you feel like winning a trophy every time you were the reason for it. He's so kind and polite that it makes your head spin.

Felix can't quite stop himself from looking at you whenever you don't notice. The more time you spend, the more he notices how beautiful you are. How caring and gentle. Your smile brightens his days and he can't fully shake the longing to be in your arms again off. He hasn't felt as comfortable around someone in a while, and there's a lingering worry in the back of his head telling him that he really shouldn't allow himself to fall for you. It only gets worse watching you doing the most mundane things and wishing that you wouldn't leave again.

Another two weeks later your best friend announces she'll be abroad for a holiday with her boyfriend for two weeks. Two weeks. It'll only be Felix and you for fourteen days. That thought wasn't helping your anxious heart, trying not to fall for him at all.

You decided to make the best out of it and forget about your worries. Seeing Felix smile again was all that counted.

The first morning, Felix tiredly strolls down the hallway from his room and stops in his tracks when he sees you at the stove. A sweet scent lingers in the kitchen, and he realizes you're making pancakes for breakfast. His heart picks up pace, and he takes a deep breath, reminding himself to act normal. “Morning,” he says, not knowing that his even deeper morning voice sends shivers down your spine.

“Good morning,” you smile at him, bright as ever. He has to look somewhere else to stop himself from blushing. “Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes,” you tell him, and he hums softly.

Felix sits down at the kitchen island and watches you thoughtfully. It's ridiculous how used to your presence he got over the past few weeks. Almost as if he couldn't imagine it any other way anymore. “Do you have any plans for today?” he asks and you shake your head as you put the pancakes on a big plate.

“Why?” you ask curiously and turn off the stove.

“Uh, I was thinking about painting her room since she wanted a new color so badly…I was wondering if you'd like to help?” he asks nervously.

You put down the plate and nod. “Sure, why not?”

Felix flashes you a sweet smile and thanks you as you hand him a plate with some pancakes. They're so fluffy they almost melt on his tongue, and he has trouble biting back a moan. “Oh, they're amazing,” he tells you and notices the subtle blush settling on your cheeks.

“Thank you,” you smile almost shyly.

Seriously, can't you give him a break?

After breakfast, Felix takes a quick shower, and you put on some clothes that could be ruined by the paint. You meet again in your best friend's room, and you smile at how soft Felix looks in a pair of gray sweatpants and a wide sweater. You pull all the furniture away from the walls, covering everything up before Felix shows you how to apply the paint properly. In the beginning, you're both quietly working and it feels peaceful, just focusing on painting for now. Then Felix starts talking, trying to kill the silence. “I signed the divorce papers yesterday,” he says casually, and you need a moment to figure out how to answer.

“Congratulations?” you chuckle, and he laughs, realizing how out of pocket this has been.

“Sorry, that was pretty random,” he apologizes.

“No, it's fine. I'm glad you did,” you say, and he glances at you, making you ramble on quickly. “I mean, it's the right thing to do. Did you settle on anything? Does she demand stuff?”

“If she doesn't want my legal team to be less nice about the reason we're getting a divorce than I was, then she won't,” he tells you and sighs softly. “She has the old house, and I don't have to pay her anything. I'm glad when we're done with the whole process,” he admits tiredly.

“I bet you are,” you nod gently. “You deserve some peace after everything,” you say, and he hums softly, pressing his lips together briefly. “We can stop talking about it,” you assure him gently, and Felix nods thankfully.

“We need more paint,” he states.

“Well, we should let this dry anyway for today,” you nod and flash him a gentle smile. “We could go buy some more and then call it a day?”

“Sounds good,” he nods, rubbing his face tiredly, and turns toward you fully now.

“You've got some paint on your cheek,” you say, and he blindly reaches out to wipe it off. He doesn't quite get it and you step in front of him, reaching out for him. “Let me help,” you say and gently rub your thumb over his cheek, wiping the still fresh paint off.

Felix freezes in place, staring at you as you do so. He feels like the world stops for a moment but then your soft touch is already gone again. He exhales a breath he didn't know he was holding in and follows you outside. Fucks sake.

You wander through the store next to him and you end up buying some more stuff to decorate the house a little more. Felix's phone rings and you can tell it's Chan by the way his face lights up. He nudges your side after a moment. “You're hungry?”

“I could eat,” you nod.

“Min and Chan ask if we wanna stop by,” he tells you, and you shrug your shoulders.

“Sure, why not?”

Only shortly after, you reach their house, and your eyes widen, spotting the two small kittens on the carpet. “Oh, you have new ones?” you ask excitedly and Minho looks at you as if he's going to hit you.

“Or not?” you ask, chuckling.

Chan gently pokes his cheek and grins at you. “Yeah, we got them like a week ago,” he nods, and you crouch down as they make their way over.

“Can I hold them?” you ask, looking at Minho, and his face softens.

“If they let you,” he nods and tells you to sit down on the floor.

He picks up the first one and gently hands it over to you, making sure you hold it right. “He's usually very calm, so if you don't move too quickly, you should be fine,” he tells you and sits down, grabbing the second one. “She's a little rascal,” he smirks and gently scratches her head.

“They're so tiny,” you say, amazed.

“Here, he loves those,” Chan says, handing you a little treat.

You hold out your hand for the kitten, and he doesn't waste much time. You giggle at his tiny tongue licking over your palm and beam at Minho excitedly. Chan passes Minho and gently runs his hand through his hair mindlessly. Minho smiles softly and looks up at him so full of love you can't help but wish you'd find someone you shared the same type of deep love with. “Wanna help me set the table, Lix?” he asks, and Felix hums, following him, not after a quick glance in your direction to make sure you're alright.

Soon after, you're all gathered around the table, and you all thank Minho for cooking. Chan glances at Felix after a while and seems to debate whether he should ask what's going through his head. “Lix?” he asks, and his friend turns toward him. “How are you holding up?”

“I'm fine,” he smiles tiredly, and you know the question starts to bother him by now.

“You said that from day one,” Minho chuckles and tilts his head at him.

“No, I am. I signed the papers yesterday and then soon it'll all be over,” he explains.

“Have you met anyone new?” Minho asks curiously. “I mean, it's been almost two months.”

“Mhm, after ten years of a fake marriage. I still have time, don't you think?” he asks sourly.

Chan steps in, trying to ease the mood. “We're just worried about you getting lonely, Lix,” he tells him.

“I'd rather be lonely than that,” he says and rolls his eyes at them. “Not everyone finds the one and lives happily ever after from day one on,” he says, looking at the two of them.

“That's hardly realistic, nothing was perfect from day one,” Minho shakes his head.

“Not really, no,” Chan snorts and winks at him.

“Well, you're not me, so…,” Felix says quietly, and the mood changes.

“Meaning?” Minho asks patiently, even though you can tell he’d rather punch some sense into him.

Felix puts down his chopsticks and sighs heavily. “I'm way too emotional, I'm too shy to approach anyone or initiate anything further, I mess up stuff constantly and-.”

“Will you stop?” you cut him off, and everyone looks at you as if they're remembering you're still here. “You keep on talking shit about yourself, and you don't even realize you're letting her win.”

“I'm not letting her—” he frowns. Chan is about to speak up, but Minho stops him, resting his hand on his.

“Yes, you are. She used you for years, and you're still letting her by making it all your fault. As if she had no other choice but to go off and fuck around with whoever she found moderately fuckable,” you say, and he blinks at you, stunned as Chan chokes on his breath. “You're talented at what you do, you're hardworking, and you're one of the most caring people I know. You didn't have to, but you always made me feel at home when I visited your daughter. You haven't done any differently since I moved in, and as long as you aren't talking shit about yourself, you're pretty funny. And-.”

“Y/nnie,” he says softly, and it's the first time he's called you that. “Eat up; it's going to get cold.”

You quickly shut your mouth, ears burning up as you realize you've just been pretty open in front of Minho and Chan. “Yeah, okay, you better shut up then…respectfully.”

“Message received,” he smiles gently.

Minho raises his eyebrows and glances at Chan before moving his eyes between the two of you. Chan frowns before his eyes widen, and he squints at him. Minho widens his eyes and puts on a little passive aggressively encouraging smile, signaling him that, yes, he is VERY right about this.

“You can stop the eye fuckery over there, I'll get sick,” Felix calls them out, and you frown softly at Minho's mischievous grin.

“Y/n, what about you?” Minho asks curiously.

“You're playing cupid as a side business, or what is this?” you ask right back.

“Simply interested,” he gives back.

“I'm single if you must know so badly, and no, my self-esteem isn't drowning as much as Lix’s,” you say, and Felix pokes your side, protesting softly.

Chan watches you quietly before glancing at his husband and humming softly. Minho simply smirks.

Later, when it's time to leave, you hold your hand out for Felix, and he tilts his head at you questioningly. “Keys, please,” you smile.

“Huh?” he asks, amused.

“You had two drinks, I didn't have any, and I'm driving,” you tell him, stretching your hand out once more.

“Listen to her, Yongbokie,” Minho tells him, and Felix gives in and hands you the keys.

“That was really sweet,” Felix says, almost too quiet to hear.

“The kittens?” you giggle.

“Mhm, yeah, they too,” he nods and glances over at you. “I meant what you said…I uh... thanks.”

“Oh,” you nod and feel your heart warming at the softness in his eyes. “I meant it.”

“I know,” he whispers and can barely meet your eyes.

“You should give yourself more credit. Try seeing yourself through the eyes of the people you mean something to from time to time,” you say, parking the car in front of the house.

Felix looks at you, a little stunned. “I mean something to you?” he asks softly.

“Well, of course you do, Lixie,” you smile and lean over, brushing his hair back for him.

“Yeah?” he asks, eyes traveling down to your lips before he can fight it.

“Mhm,” you hum softly and search his eyes. Suddenly, you move forward and your lips meet in a soft kiss that has him melting in his seat. He reaches up to bury his hand into your hair and-.

“Felix? Felix, wake up,” you say gently.

“Huh?” he asks confused.

“Wake up, Lix, come on,” you say softly, daring to brush a loose strand from his face. “Come on, let's get you upstairs.”

Felix blinks at you drowsily and needs a moment to realize he's been dreaming—dreaming of kissing you. His face burns up red with embarrassment as your gentle eyes meet his, and he shoots out of his seat. “Yeah, sorry,” he stammers, and you watch him a little confused.

“You're okay?” you ask, closing the door for him.

“Sure, why wouldn't I be?” he asks, laughing nervously. Don't look at the lips. Don't.

“Man, you're weird when you get woken up,” you shake your head and unlock the front door, letting him in. Felix stumbles taking off his shoes, making you laugh. “Is alcohol having such an effect on you?”

“Mhm, yeah,” he lies, spotting his lifeline.

“Well, let's get you to bed then,” you say and gently pat his back, shoving him inside.

“I'll make it on my own, thank you,” he quickly says and wishes you a good night. He throws himself face forward onto his bed and groans into his blanket. “Fuck, no, Lix, you can't.” He turns onto his back and stares up at the ceiling, brushing his fingers over his lips. Groaning softly, he fumbles for his phone; he needs some clarity now.

“It's late, what the fuck, mate?”

“Jisungie, I fucked up,” Felix whines softly.

“Oh, please don't tell me you're drunk,” Jisung sighs softly. “Do I have to pick you up somewhere?”

“No,” he quickly assures him. “I just…there's this certain someone I can't stop thinking about, and…Ji, it's wrong!”

“I don't like the sound of this,” he states calmly. “Go on.”

And Felix does, spilling all his hurt, feelings of emptiness, and worthlessness. Telling him how you mend his heart, fill his entire being with happiness, and make him feel loveable. He confesses how he can't stop thinking about you, worrying how messed up this could get.

Jisung lets him ramble on and nods gently once he's done. “That's fucked up, mate.”

“I know,” he whispers.

“No, I don't think you know how bad that bitch fucked you up,” Jisung says, and Felix is too stunned to speak for a second. “Fucks sake, Lix! Where's my pretty boy getting all the girls, huh? When did you get all shy and scared? Did she fuck up your self-esteem that badly?”

“Ji, you're missing the point here,” he insists. “Everyone would think I'm using her, she's eight years younger. They'll make her a victim and-.”

“Lix,” he cuts him off firmly. “I'm that victim you're describing here, you do know that, right? My hubby is ten years older, Hyune’s wife is six years younger, and no one gives a fuck,” he tells him. “The thing you really can't take is the fact that she's your daughter's best friend.”

“That surely doesn't help,” he groans.

“Well, technically-.”

“She's my daughter, you can try and twist this how you want,” he shakes his head. “And she'll hate me if I act upon my feelings for Y/n.”

“All she wanted was for you to be happy. Why not with Y/nnie?” he asks gently. “Listen, buddy, you gotta figure out what you really want and then act accordingly. Stop sending her signals if you don't want this to evolve into something more.”

“I know,” he sighs softly. Fuck.

“Can you get the eggs?” you ask him as you pour some sugar into a bowl, weighing its content as you do.

“Sure,” Felix nods and his hand rests on your lower back for a brief moment, notifying you of him standing behind you to stop you from bumping into him.

You swallow softly at the lingering touch, and it's already gone again before you can't think much of it. Felix got home from the studio about an hour ago, and you two decided to surprise your best friend with a cake for her birthday tomorrow. At least she had planned to come back again for it. After quickly buying the ingredients, you two got busy in the kitchen. He's unusually clumsy, your hands brushed against each other four times already since you've started and you already bumped heads, both wanting to grab something off the floor he dropped. The brief touches and his soft eyes combined with that shy smile are slowly driving you insane.

Once you're all done you put it in the oven and set a timer, cleaning up the kitchen for now. You'll still need a few things for the icing later but you get rid of most of the mess for now. After loading the dishwasher, the 25 minutes are over, and Felix carefully takes it out. You leave it there to cool and throw yourself on the sofa.

Felix joins you and turns on the TV, putting on the next episode of the series you've recently started watching together. After a while, your head slowly drops onto his shoulder and it takes him a moment to realize you fell asleep. He cautiously wraps his arm around you to make you more comfortable and lets you rest against his chest. He tries not to think too much of it and chews on his lower lip nervously as he tries to pay attention to the screen.

As much as he tries to fight it, he's exhausted from their intense practice today, and his eyes grow heavier with every minute. It doesn't take long and he falls asleep as well, getting more comfortable and dragging you down with him in his sleep.

You wake up in his arms, your head resting on his chest. Your eyes widen in shock, and you fight the urge to jump up and get as far away from him as possible. You barely dare to lift your head. Glancing down at him, your heart skips a beat at how soft and vulnerable he looks in his sleep. His chest is slowly rising and falling, his hair hangs into his face and he looks so soft it makes you want to squish his cheeks. You admire the beautiful freckles painting his face as the fading sun caresses his golden skin. Gosh, he's pretty.

He moves in his sleep, tightening his grip around you and rolling you both onto your sides. Burying his face in your neck, he lets out a content sigh and pulls you in close. You bite your lip and curse yourself for wanting this so badly. You should really wake him up…but you couldn't. Not when he had a long day and finally got some rest. Not when he looked this content and peaceful. You couldn't.

You timidly rest your chin on his fluffy hair and wait for a moment, but he doesn't seem to mind. Carefully, you fondle his back and rest your hand between his shoulder blades. He doesn't stir one bit, and you decide to try sleeping some more as well.

You wake up again when he stretches in your arms, pulling back with a soft groan. Felix squints at you drowsily before he slowly picks up on your current situation. A blush creeps up his neck and colors his cheeks and ears. He pulls away and rolls onto his back with a soft sound, rubbing his face tiredly. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

“For what?” you ask gently.

“Uh…this,” he awkwardly gestures between the two of you. “I uh…I tend to get cuddly when I fall asleep. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or-.”

“You didn't,” you say firmly, and he slowly glances at you.

“No?” he asks quietly.

“Not at all,” you assure him, and he hums gently in response. “You seemed like you needed it, so I let you sleep a little longer.”

“Oh,” he nods dumbly and searches your eyes timidly. “Okay.”

“Yeah,” you nod and smile at him. “I think we can finish the cake by now.”

“Probably,” he laughs and sits up.

The pair of you soon gets busy in the kitchen again and Felix turns on the mixer to finish the icing for the cake. It's a little too fast, and some of it lands on his sweater. “Fucks sake,” he curses softly before slowing it down.

You laugh at him, and he turns to you, raising his eyebrows. “Oh, you got some on your face,” you giggle and step in front of him. You cup his face gently with one hand, rubbing your other thumb across the icing on his forehead. “Keep still, Lixie,” you say and don't quite notice his lips parting at the new nickname. You move further down, wiping the bits on his cheek off, and only then you meet his eyes. They're wide and filled with thousands of questions and insecurities. “You're okay?” you ask worriedly.

Felix blinks at you before very slowly shaking his head. “I'm not okay,” he says, and you turn off the mixer, bathing the room in silence.

“What's wrong?” you ask and want to pull your hand off his face, but his hand wraps around your wrist keeping you there.

“I…,” he trails off, sinking deeper into your eyes, and you can see the sudden longing in them. It's pure and innocent, making you all dizzy the longer you look at him. “You're driving me nuts,” he confesses.

“Breathe,” you tell him before experimentally brushing your thumb over his lips. He exhales shuddery, eyes fluttering close at your touch. “Can I kiss you?” you ask.

“What?” he squeaks, eyes snapping back open.

“You heard me,” you say and tilt your head at him. “Can I?” Felix gulps before nodding timidly. You close the distance between the two of you, and your lips brush against his. A soft, quiet sound escapes him and then you're cupping his face and kissing him. Felix melts into the kiss, body searching yours as he grips your waist and stumbles a little, shoving you against the kitchen counter. He pulls back only to catch his breath and presses his forehead against yours. “You're okay?” you ask again. This time, he nods.

“Yeah,” he whispers with a soft smile. “I'm okay...”

PART TWO

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @kailee08 @mal-lunar-28 @lilmisssona @aaa-sia @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @michelle4eve @lixie-phoria @xxstrayland @kibs-and-bits @mellhwang @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @palindrome969 @harshaaaaa

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senp1i · 3 months

Text

Bestfriends | Jang Wonyoung x M!R

WC: 2496, anon requested from last year also I used Grammarly for the first, how'd u guys like it lmao, I'm not sure If ill use it again tho, it makes everything bland IMO but less work for my sickass so ++ sorry for the smut, i know the req said fluff but.. i got too excited lmao

Wonyoung and Y/N had been close since they were little demons running wild in their neighborhood. They were damn near conjoined twins, always finding trouble to get into together. Whether it was sneaking out in the middle of the night or raiding the kitchen for midnight snacks, they did everything as a dynamic duo.

As they got older, that closeness only intensified. Y/N started noticing the little things about Wonyoung that made his heart go faster than a F1 car - the way her eyes crinkled when she laughed, or how her slight gum showed whenever she flashed that bright, smile. Not to mention Wonyoung was a total smokeshow inside and out, with a fun, chic personality to match her goddess looks.

Y/N had it bad, simping for his best friend in the most cliche way possible. But could you blame the dude? Wonyoung was straight-up perfect - smart as a nerd without the glasses, kind as a nun, with a decent enough sense of humor and just the most beautiful girl. She had a rocking body too, not too curvy but with an ass that just wouldn't quit. Y/N's testostrones start raging just thinking about her.

He knew he had to make a move before it was too late. Wonyoung was starting to get attention from the other dudes at school, and it was only a matter of time before some fuckboy tried to swoop in and steal her up. Y/N couldn't let that happen - Wonyoung was his, had been since day one, even if she didn't know it yet. The plan was simple: confess feelings, get the girl, and ride off into the sunset or whatever cliche, What could go wrong?

Famous last words.

Y/N had been preparing himself up all day to finally spit it out. He was gonna meet Wonyoung at their favorite hangout spot in the park after school and pour his heart out. Butterflies were going apeshit in his stomach as he approached the park bench, hands sweaty and shaky.

That's when he saw it - Wonyoung, sitting there looking as gorgeous as ever, with some random kid down on one knee in front of her. A fucking confession. Y/N's heart fell into his gut as the world seemed to stop.

"Oh fuck no..." he muttered under his breath.

The guy was a senior from what Y/N could tell, though he didn't recognize the bastard off the top of his head. He was decent-looking, Y/N supposed, but he was biased as hell. No one was good enough for HIS Wonyoung.

From a distance, Y/N watched in horror as the guy declared his feelings, pulling out a bouquet of roses from behind his back like a damn rom-com from the nineties. He felt like he was gonna launch at the fuckboy as Wonyoung accepted the flowers, a small smile playing on her lips. Wasn't she gonna shut this guy down?

Y/N wanted to turn away but found himself frozen, a bystander in his own nightmare. He watched as Wonyoung leaned in and...hugged the guy. What the actual fuck was going on?

His brain jumped to the worst possible conclusions - were Wonyoung and this random dude already a thing? Had Y/N been living in delusion this whole time, pining after someone who was already taken? Bile filled his mouth.

As the guy pulled away from the hug, still smiling at Wonyoung with tender affection in his eyes, Y/N felt like he was going to lose his shit for real. This was happening, right in front of his eyes. His moment, his chance at happiness, being ripped away.

Head spinning, Y/N turned and booked it before he could witness anything else. He ran blindly, fighting back the lump of emotion forming in his throat. He had been so ready to lay it all on the line, and now...now his heart was shattered into pieces.

Over the next few days, Y/N avoided Wonyoung like the plague, skipping all their usual hangouts and making excuses whenever she tried to reach out. He just couldn't stand to be around her, not after having his feelings so violently crushed. It was too damn painful.

Wonyoung wasn't having it though. She was too damn stubborn, too persistent to let this go on without getting to the bottom of it.

"Dude, what the fuck is up with you lately?" she cornered Y/N after somehow tracking him down in the school courtyard after school.

Y/N averted his eyes, clenching his jaw as he fought to keep his composure. "Nothing's up. I'm fine."

"Bullshit," Wonyoung scoffed, seeing right through the flimsy excuse. "You've been avoiding me for days, and I want to know why."

There was a tense pause as Y/N remained stubbornly silent, staring at a random spot on the ground. Wonyoung sighed in exasperation, planting her hands on her hips.

"Did I do something to piss you off? Because if I did, I wish you'd just tell me instead of giving me the cold shoulder, N/nie"

Y/N squeezed his eyes shut briefly, pained by how stupid Wonyoung was being and the fact that her nickname still made his stomach get fuzzy. Of course, she had no idea about his feelings, how crushed he felt watching her accept that other guy's flowers, even hugging him.

When he spoke again, Y/N's voice was barely above a whisper, trembling with barely suppressed emotion. "I saw you...with him...the other day in the park."

Wonyoung's brow furrowed in confusion for a moment before realization seemed to dawn on her. "Oh...you mean [whatever name] ? When he asked me out?"

Y/N flinched at how casually she referred to the guy's name as if i wasn't a big deal. As if their friendship, their closeness, didn't mean anything next to this new romantic prospect.

"I can't believe you'd even entertain that loser," Y/N bit out bitterly, venom in his tone. "He doesn't deserve you."

"Woah, harsh," Wonyoung laughed lightly, though her eyes had taken on a more serious glint. "For your information, I turned him down. Like, completely rejected his ass."

Y/N's head whipped up in surprise, eyes widening almost comically. "You...you did?", voice cracking mid way too.

"Of course I did, dumbass," Wonyoung rolled her eyes, gentleness returning to her eyes as she closed the distance between them. "Did you think I'd go for some random guy over you?"

The words hung heavy in the air between them as Y/N struggled to process them. Over him? What did that mean exactly? Surely Wonyoung couldn't mean...

Clearing his throat, "W-What are you saying?" Y/N stammered out, heart beating fast in his chest.

Wonyoung reached up to cup his face lovingly, so close now that he could see the faint dusting of redness on her face, and could smell her sweet fruity perfume. She stared into his eyes with an intensity that made his knees go weak.

"I'm saying…- *sigh* I like you, dummy," she murmured, voice soft yet filled with sincerity. "I've had feelings for you for a long time, but I didn't know how to tell you. I was waiting for you to make a move."

Y/N felt like the wind was knocked out of him as Wonyoung's words slowly sank in. This whole time...Wonyoung had liked him back? He had been stressing out for nothing, making assumptions and jumping to conclusions without even giving her a chance to explain.

"You...you like me?" Y/N asked dumbly, hardly daring to believe it was real. "Like, like-like me?"

"Yeah, dumbass," Wonyoung chuckled fondly, rolling her eyes again. "I like-like you, a lot. So are you gonna kiss me already or what?"

She didn't have to ask twice as Y/N surged forward, capturing Wonyoung's plush lips in a sloppy, desperate kiss. It was clumsy and inexperienced, driven purely by pent-up feelings, but it was absolutely flabbergasting. Wonyoung made a soft *mmph* of surprise before melting into it, her arms winding around his neck.

They kissed again and again, getting lost in the sensation of finally having each other. Years of hidden crushing and repressed lust came pouring out in a strong wave. Y/N wanted to drown in Wonyoung forever, to burn up in her flames.

When they finally detached, panting and flushed, Y/N cupped Wonyoung's face gently. "I thought I lost you," he murmured, resting his forehead against hers.

Wonyoung let out a breathless laugh, eyes sparkling with a mixture of affection and glee. "You could never lose me, dummy. I'll always be yours, no matter what."

And as Y/N pulled her close for another kiss, the courtyard around them faded into the background until it was just Y/N and Wonyoung in their little bubble. Their lips moved together urgently, all teeth and tongues, everything started gushing out again,

Y/N knew in that moment, as Wonyoung whimpered softly into his mouth, that she was telling the goddamn truth. They'd been two peas in a pod since childhood, attached at the damn hip through thick and thin. But right now, with their bodies pressed together so personally, they became one - two puzzle pieces finally slotting together after years of being one halves.

And fuck, did it feel good to be home.

Wonyoung kissed back like she did everything else - with out-of-control passion and zero fucks given. She gave as good as she got, nibbling at Y/N's lower lip teasingly before licking it with her tongue. Her hands moved freely, bunching up the fabric of his shirt as she pressed even closer, determined to get rid of any remaining space between her and his bodies.

"Fuck, baby...wanted this for so long," Y/N muttered when they briefly pulled back for air, his voice low and filed with lust.

"Then take it," Wonyoung shot back breathlessly, her eyes dark and hooded as she pushed her hips against his, grinding on his erection. "I'm yours, remember?"

That was all the encouragement Y/N needed. Tangling one hand in her silky hair, he angled her head to the side and attacked her neck with sloppy, open-mouthed kisses. Wonyoung let out a needy little whine, arching into him desperately as he found her sensitive spots

"Y/N...shit, that feels so good," she moaned, nails scratching over his clothed back as he showered her pale skin with attention.

Hearing her say his name like that, all breathy and horny, just drove Y/N more. He wanted to mark her up, let the whole world know she was his and his alone. Wanted to make her come undone right there in the yard where anyone could see but of course, they had a reputation to keep as he hoisted Wonyoung up suddenly, grinning at her squeak. Her legs immediately wrapped around his waist as he rushed into the hallway and pinned her against one of the lockers, the metal clanging loudly. Not that either of them cared about being overheard at this point - they were too far gone.

"You drive me fucking crazy, you know that?" Y/N groaned out, rolling his hips, grounding against her clothed vagina teasingly so she could feel how hard he was already. "Been wanting this tight little body for years."

Wonyoung let out a shameless moan at his words, her pupils blown wide with horniness. "Then take it, what are you waiting for?" She ground down against the bulge in his jeans tauntingly. "I'm not gonna break."

It was all the invitation Y/N needed. Crashing their lips back together hornily, he reached down to hitch one of Wonyoung's legs higher on his waist, opening her up further. His other hand skimmed up her thigh, dipping underneath her skirt to tease at the lace waistband of her panties.

"Is this what you want, baby?" he asked against her lips, fingers creeping higher to brush over her damp slit through the skimpy fabric. "You're already so wet for me, wony"

Wonyoung's head lolled back against the lockers with a thud, her chest heaving. "Don't tease, asshole" she retorted shamelessly, squirming against his hand in search of more. "I need you inside me. Now."

Y/N felt his dick throb painfully at her words, at the way she begged for it despite her usual bossy, headstrong personality. Seeing Wonyoung like this, overwhelmed by need and desire for him, was making his brain short-circuit.

Kissing her deeply again, he slid his hand properly into her panties and finally, blissfully, pumped two fingers into her sloppy, wet pussy.. Wonyoung moaned sharply into his mouth, her inner walls fluttering wildly around the thick fingers as she took him into the final knuckle.

"Fuck...you feel so fucking good," Y/N groaned, slowly working his fingers in and out of her tight vagina. She felt like heaven, insanely hot and wet like she was made just for him.

"Harder," Wonyoung whimpered, already twitching pathetically on his hand, completely shamelessly in her pleasure. "I can take it, I wanna feel you tomorrow."

Y/N felt a fresh wave of precum ooze out at her husky demands. He always knew Wonyoung was a brat, but her complete lack of self-consciousness, and her willingness to take whatever he gave was driving him wild, especially in the empty school hallway.

Growling under his breath, Y/N picked up the pace of his pumping, curling his fingers with every pull. The smutty sounds of her slick cunt soon filled the hallway, echoing obscenely with Wonyoung's loud, horny moans.

"That's it, baby...gonna make you feel so good," Y/N murmured hotly against the sweaty side of her throat, biting down to leave a mark. "Want everyone to know who you belong to."

"Yours, 'm yours!" Wonyoung cried out, arching her back almost painfully as she blindly chased her orgasm. Her nails grounded and slid over his shoulders hard enough to sting. "Oh fuck, I'm...I'm gonna..."

Y/N could feel her growing impossibly tighter around his fingers, those velvet walls beginning to twitch wildly. With a groan, he slammed his palm firmly against her clit, sending Wonyoung catapulting over the edge into euphoria.

She came with a sobbing and whiney moan, her whole body tensing up as waves of pleasure crashed over her. Y/N swallowed the desperate sounds spilling from her lips, amazed by how gorgeous she looked in the high of her orgasm. He fingered her through it lovingly, dragging out every last tremble until Wonyoung’s limp and tired against him.

"Good girl, that's it," he murmured adoringly, pressing soft kisses to her sweaty hairline as she clung to him like a koala. "You did so good for me, baby."

Wonyoung merely made a weak, incoherent noise of hum, too orgasmed out to form proper words. She nuzzled against his neck happily, her jagged pants slowly evening out to deep, relaxed breaths.

"Mine," she finally mumbled once she'd got to her senses, voice raspy from all her moans. She punctuated her words with a clumsy nip to his neck, more like a mosquito bite than anything.

Y/N chuckled, squeezing her ass with the hand still under her skirt. "Always."

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from-the-clouds · 1 year

Text

texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xi

series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter |

chapter summary: I'm not even gonna be poetic about this: Joel and reader lie to themselves and others about their feelings for 5.6k words. pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 5.6k chapter warnings: ANGST. Description of panic attacks/anxiety. Referenced death of family members/romantic partners. Implied bisexual reader. Alcohol consumption, hangovers. smoking. Canon-typical suffering. As always please dm if you have questions. a/n: Wanted to give game Joel a little love with the gif choice, ya feel me? I've been excited to write this chapter for months and I ultimately feel like it flopped so hard, it just did not come together the way I envisioned. It's also my last week of work for awhile I'm honestly feeling very burnt out so I'm in a 'fuck it, i don't have the energy to make it perfect' mood, BUT - It’s a lot of backstory/development that I do think is necessary. Next chapter shit will go down tho so get ready.

**ALSO! I got rid of my taglist. Please follow @ftcwriting and turn on notifs if you would like to be notified when I update my works :) **

-April 10, 2024-

Joel reaches out to clutch the patio railing. His chest is tight, like someone’s stitched his ribs together so they won’t expand fully every time he tries to inhale. Each breath wheezes in and out of him, and his head spins.

None of this feels real. It can’t be real. And if he’s asleep, he can’t decide if he’s in a dream or a nightmare.

That’s until he hears his name.

“Joel!”

Her voice is like a jolt of electricity, shocking his body back into equilibrium. He finds Ellie standing behind him when he looks over his shoulder, Tommy walking up the pathway to the front door, brow furrowed.

“We literally only got here like one week ago, you can’t die already,” Ellie scolds him, and he knows that the jab is meant to be playful. “Woah, are you okay?” she asks when they lock eyes.

Joel straightens, squaring up with Tommy, fully prepared to give him a piece of his mind, for throwing him into the deep end with nothing to stay afloat.

“Who was that?” Ellie is completely oblivious.

Even if he wanted to answer the question, he still probably couldn’t. It had taken him a moment to even recognize who you were, that’s how long it’s been. And he hadn’t even really gotten a good look. It only clicked when you’d taken off your glasses, and when it’d registered, and then he’d seen the kid next to you, he’d panicked. Joel brushes past Ellie, shoving his brother with one hand in the center of his chest.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Tommy recoils at the contact, something pained and confused crossing his expression. “I…. I thought you’d be happy to see that she’s still alive.”

Joel doesn’t answer, just glowers at him. He’s still unable to make sense of the questions swirling around in his mind, each one seemingly more important than the last.

Of course it’s good that you're alive. At one point, he had tried to find you. It was after Sarah, after he’d tried to- he can’t even think about how foolish that had been. At the time, the thought of seeing you again was the only thing that provided him with even the slightest bit of hope for the future. But the search had been fruitless.

After a while, Joel decided that you were dead. It didn’t matter whether or not you were. He’d seen the unspeakable pain humans were capable of inflicting on each other and then when he’d gotten involved with some hunters, became the cause of all that pain. If you were alive…it meant those horrible things were happening to you. You were better off dead.

It also kept his conscience clear. After he’d done what he had done, he knew if he ever saw you again, he wouldn’t even be able to look you in the eyes. And he was right. You knew a version of him that no longer existed.

“Joel,” Ellie interjects. He’d nearly forgotten she was there, still lost in his shock and rage.

“Ellie, go inside,” he quips.

“Can’t I just-”

“Inside. Right now. ” Joel hasn’t used such an aggressive snarl with her since they first left for the Boston QZ, and he turns to look at her just in time to see her face crumple, before she turns and marches up the stairs. He immediately feels bad, but unfortunately, this is just how things go with every person he cares about these days. He hurts them, then they hurt him, and it equals out, only ending when one of them decides to leave.

“Jesus, Joel,” Tommy scolds, but he doesn’t care.

“How long?”

“What?”

“How long have you known she’s alive? That she has a fuckin’.....” Joel feels something get caught in his throat. “...a fuckin’ kid.”

“That’s her nephew,” Tommy says matter-of-factly, as if it was supposed to be obvious. As if Joel wasn’t just grappling with the idea that he had a twenty year old son he’d never known about, and feeling guilty that you’d been alone with him this whole time. “But I guess I can see where you’d think that.”

Now that you’re on Joel’s mind, he does recall you mentioning your nephew a few times. Maybe you even had a picture of him hanging on your fridge, and he had pegged how you had the same smile. He’s a little embarrassed for jumping to conclusions, but it doesn’t mean he’s done being angry.

“Shit,” Tommy rubs his beard. “They’ve been here for like three years. It’s been awhile.”

“Three years?” Joel asks, a whole new wave of anger reappearing. “And you didn’t think to fuckin’ tell me all this time?”

“You know the rules. We aren’t allowed to use the radio.”

“What about when I was here in the winter?” Joel asks stiffly.

“I just…figured it’d be a shock-

“And why would you think that, Tommy?” Joel raises his voice.

Tommy holds out his hands, lowering them slightly as if to tell Joel to settle down. Then he nods towards the house. Ellie. “You had a lot going on with that whole situation. I didn’t want to distract you.”

Joel would never admit it, but that was probably a smart decision for Tommy to make. He remembers how uncertain and scared he’d been when he first stopped in Jackson. But Joel still tries to think of a way to keep the argument going, because he doesn’t want to give Tommy any sort of props for how he’s chosen to break this news to him.

“I thought you’d be happy she’s alive, really, I mean you both-”

Joel holds up his hand. “Enough, Tommy. It was so long ago…I barely remember.”

Tommy frowns, gives him a knowing look. “Really?”

Joel sniffs, crosses his arms.

“Well, I remember,” Tommy says. “And she was always good to you.”

Joel doesn’t answer, because he doesn’t have anything else to say, and at this point, he just wants Tommy to leave.

“Work through whatever you have to,” Tommy says. “But don’t be an asshole. You should work on that, in general. Or else I’ll have to keep explaining your behavior.”

“Glad I’ve got you looking out for me,” Joel says dryly. “Don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Fine.” Tommy shakes his head, backs away.

His brother doesn’t say goodbye as he stuffs his hands in his coat pocket and walks down the street. Joel stays in place, alone on the front porch, until his hands relax from the fists they are clenched in and his anger turns to shame.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-April 19, 2024-

You close the locket and place it back inside the old lunch pail full of tchotchkes and other memorabilia. It’s a fairly empty box, over the years you’ve found that the things you hold onto are either lost or left behind, not unlike the people you’ve met. You swipe away the tears in your eyes.

Bea had always said it was important to give yourself the space to grieve, to let yourself feel whatever it was that you needed to. It’s advice that you don’t want to take from her right now because you’re pissed at her for being gone. Not that it had been her fault. And also because you know if you don’t stick to a routine it’s very easy to backslide.

In the bathroom, you hurry to splash cold water on your face, taking a look at yourself in the mirror. Before the outbreak, there was nothing more terrifying than getting old. Now, as you study the new lines and wrinkles on your face, the scar on your bottom lip, the gray strands in your hair, it doesn’t scare you at all. It seemed frivolous that looks were something you’d been so concerned about when you were younger. But you suppose you didn’t have much else to worry about. There was something pretty freeing about being older, that you can be content without being concerned about whether or not someone will find you attractive. And really, getting old means you’re still alive. That’s all that matters.

You are concerned with the red in the whites of your eyes, but hope they’ll fade by the time you get to Maria’s.

Grappling with the fact that Joel is still alive has dredged up a lot. Since it had been about a week since your reunion – if you could even call it that – on your front porch, and you’d seen him one other time. The first time, you’d sort of understood why he’d ran off. But you guessed you kind of expected him to come around eventually. He didn’t.

Just a few days earlier you’d been walking through the town square, and he’d been headed your direction with that teenage girl who Tommy has since told you is named Ellie. She was giggling at something, and Joel even had a slight smile on his face, but when he saw you, it disappeared, and he pulled Ellie to the opposite side of the street. It was clear now that he was intentionally trying to avoid you, which….didn’t feel great.

That was an understatement. Having Joel back made you realize just how lonely you were. It had taken some time after arriving in Jackson for you to grieve your partner of nearly ten years, so it hadn’t really dawned on you that at some point you might crave a deeper level of intimacy that your friendships couldn’t offer. But you had already had it twice, so you supposed that was better than nothing at all. Plus, your number one priority had been, and always would be making sure Ethan was provided for.

So what exactly were you expecting from Joel? Not that, of course. But maybe some kind of closure after all those years spent apart. Some kind of acknowledgement of your time spent together.

When the outbreak first happened, you had spent a lot of time being angry. With Joel and Sarah, the possibility of being normal had been dangled in front of you. You realized you had wanted to be loved after being convinced by your father – and yourself – that you didn’t deserve it. Then, the second you acknowledged that you wanted it anyways, the world had literally ended. It was a little egocentric, but it sort of felt like a sign that your dad had been right all along. Some women aren’t meant to be part of a family.

Of course, Bea had proved that wrong. But losing the people you loved became a pattern. And you even to this day, you alternated between believing that it was the unfortunate reality of life, or that it was your destiny to never get what you wanted.

Regardless, even if the way Joel is acting has caused you more turmoil than you are willing to admit, you’re not going to follow him around and beg to get back into his good graces. That’s never been your style.

You’re tidying up the kitchen, getting ready to leave, when Ethan shuffles into the room. It’s nearly noon.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” you say to him as drags his socked feet across the hardwood.

He grumbles his greeting and tilts his head at the bag you’re adjusting over your shoulder, as if to ask where you’re headed.

“I’m going to Maria’s,” you say. “Then I have to meet with Eugene.”

He makes a noise of affirmation, still half-asleep, and slumps into a kitchen chair. When you look at him closely, you see the dark circles beneath his glassy eyes, his face pale.

“You alright, honey?” you ask, putting your bag back on the countertop and approaching him. “Do you have a fever?” when you reach to press the back of your hand to his cheek he swats it away weakly. He doesn’t feel warm.

“I’m fine,” he says, crossing his arms on the countertop and burying his face in them. “I just have a headache.”

“Yeah?” you say. “You were out late last night.”

“Derek and I went to the Tipsy Bison,” his voice is muffled.

Everything clicks into place. “Oh. Were you overserved?”

He turns his head, but doesn’t lift it. With how long his hair has gotten, most of his face is obscured. “Maybe. But before I get a lecture, don’t worry – I’m never drinking again.”

“I’m not gonna lecture you,” you’re almost offended. “Is this really your first hangover?”

“I mean….probably not. But it’s definitely the worst.”

“Well now you know your limits,” you say, crossing the room to pour him a glass of water and get some ibuprofen from the long-expired bottle you keep in a cabinet.

“Maybe if we were allowed to drink when we were with Bea, I would’ve learned that sooner.”

You let Ethan’s get his dig in at the last community you’d lived with before Jackson. The more time you’d spent here, the more time he’d had to convince himself that what you’d gotten yourselves into was terrible. Because you had more of a complex perspective on it, it was the one subject you avoided speaking to each other about.

Ethan is similar to Vincent in that while he’s very sensitive, he also seems to enjoy being an instigator. Of course, spending all of his life fighting to survive in a world that wants him dead has only intensified that. Bea had been good at helping him manage his temper when he was a teenager and it became too much for you to handle. But besides that, he doesn't get into much trouble, so you aren’t going to chastise him.

“Drink this, and take these.”

He groans, but reaches out for the aspirin and water, nursing it down with small sips. You bite back a smile. The both of you have endured much worse than a hangover, but there’s something cathartic about seeing him experience the plights of a normal twenty-something.

“Are you hungry?”

“If I eat anything, I think I will vomit,” he lays his head back down.

You consider asking him if he wants you to stay so you can look after him, but decide that you don’t want to encourage the habit too much. Instead, you reach out and brush a strand of hair off his cheek so you can see him more clearly, and he closes his eyes. “I bet you’ll feel better in a couple hours. Drink water. It’ll help.”

He blinks up at you, seemingly unconvinced. “I saw that guy yesterday. The weird one.”

“What guy?”

“Tommy’s brother. What’s his name?”

“Joel?” you ask, and pretend that saying his name doesn’t almost make you shiver.

“Yeah,” he says. “He was with Tommy at the stables. Guess they’re making him a ranger.”

“Hm.”

“I know you knew him before or whatever, but he’s definitely a weirdo. And I’m not just saying that to make you feel better.”

The whatever in his sentence is doing a lot of heavy lifting. You roll your eyes, but not maliciously. “Well, he did just get here.” You definitely don’t owe Joel anything, so you surprise yourself by defending him.

Ethan almost ignores your response, winces, turns his head back into his arms and grumbles something to the effect of I’m dying.

“Rest up,” you ruffle his hair and kiss the top of his head, like you’ve been doing since before he could walk, and it’s hard to stop even though sometimes it annoys him. Right now, he doesn’t protest. “I’ll bring you home some soup from the mess hall. Take it easy.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s Tommy who lets you in once you arrive at Maria’s. She’s upstairs with the baby, he says, and tells you to wait in the living room, before you hear her frantic voice calling out for him to come help her.

His footsteps retreat up the stairs, and you hover in the entrance to the living room, your eyes inexplicably drawn to the chalkboard with

You glance at the little memorial that Tommy had made for Sarah and Kevin, Maria’s son. Even though you’ve seen it a million times at this point, the sight of her name, the date of her passing – the same day as Joel’s birthday – makes your stomach sink.

That’s when you notice that you’re not alone. Sitting in a chair in the corner is the girl that you’d seen accompanying Joel. You hadn’t actually been properly introduced, you realized, and she’s staring at you like she doesn’t know what to do. She’s a cute kid, a teenager if you had to guess, her dark hair pulled back into a ponytail.

Based on how he’s been acting, you can’t imagine what Joel has told her about you. Probably nothing good. So you give her a nod and a small smile, before crossing your arms and leaning against the doorframe.

Surprisingly, the bit of sincerity seems to warm her up a little. “I’m Ellie,” she says.

You nod again, and give her your first name. “It’s nice to meet you, Ellie. Sorry I didn’t get the chance the other day.”

She shrugs. “It didn’t seem like that was your fault.”

You let your arms drop to your sides, straighten up. “Did you uh…come to see the baby or something?”

Ellie shakes her head no. “I’m waiting for Tommy. He’s gonna take me to see the school.”

“Oh, that’s nice.”

“Not really,” she says. “I think school is fucking stupid. But everyone says I have to go, because all the other kids in town do, too.”

Ethan was grown when you arrived in Jackson, and you didn’t have children of your own, so it was the one place you didn’t really frequent. “Well, you probably should but….I hear you.”

There’s an almost imperceptible smile that crosses her features. You turn your head back to stare at the staircase, waiting for the sound of Maria’s footsteps, but all you can hear is her and Tommy whispering with frantic energy as they try to put their son down for a nap.

“You know Joel won’t tell me anything about you,” Ellie’s voice cuts in, and you turn back towards her. “But you knew him before, didn’t you?”

You’re not sure how to take this information, or…how to respond to it. So you keep your response simple. “I mean, we were neighbors.” But even that feels like a lie, and a useless one to tell. Maybe it’s a little petty, but you don’t owe it to Joel to keep his secrets, especially not after he’s treated you so poorly. So you tell her the truth. “I guess he was also…my boyfriend for a little while.”

Ellie seems taken aback by this. “What happened? Did you break his heart or something?”

“No,” you snort. “We got separated before the outbreak.”

“Oh.” She ponders for a moment. “So then why is he so mad?”

You shrug. “I’ll let you know if I find out.”

“Well, he’s an asshole. But I bet you already know that,” Ellie says.

Based on the time you actually spent with Joel, you would’ve never described him that way. So if that’s really how he’s perceived, even by the people who care about him, it makes you a little sad. Losing Sarah must have changed him more than you could imagine.

You’re already sick of thinking about him so much, so you change the subject to something that’s at least a little lighter. “How did the two of you end up together, anyways?”

“Long story,” she answers, and you get the sense there’s something she’s holding back. Because you just met, you don’t press her any further.

“As I’d imagine.”

You hear boots coming down the stairs, and Tommy rounds the corner, holding a stack of photos. “I’ve been meaning to show these to you, I went home a couple years back…to Joel’s old place and mine. There wasn’t much left, but I found these.”

He passes the pictures to you, and you look down at them. You don’t think much about your old house at all. It was another thing you lost, but almost everyone did, so it didn’t really make you feel special. Still, sometimes you thought of your cozy back patio and your old friend Martini, and had accepted you’d never see them again.

The first photo in the stack is a photo of Joel and Sarah at one of his soccer games. As sweet as the gesture is, you are pretty sure you can only confront so much of your past at once, and with Joel being back in town it’s starting to get suffocating. Also, when you study the picture and realize that your memory has gotten some of Sarah’s features wrong, you’re overwhelmed with guilt.

Hesitantly, you place the pictures down on the coffee table, and Ellie reaches for them immediately, flipping through him. “Woah,” she says. “He looks so different without all the grey hair,” she flips to a photo of him and Tommy, and glances up at him. “You look pretty much the same.”

When you agree with her, Tommy grins, playfully tucking a piece of hair behind his ear bashfully before growing serious. “You better not tell him I showed you these.”

“I won’t,” Ellie assures him.

“Look at this one.” Tommy pushes another photo across the table towards you, and you peer down to look at it. “He fucking adored you.”

You remember taking the picture vividly while on vacation with Joel and Sarah, and at one point you’d had your own copy framed on your dresser. There are flowers peppered in his hair, and you both look so young, and so happy, and so oblivious, his arms around you, his lips pressed against your cheek. At the time, you really had no idea that everything you knew was about to be destroyed.

“Nice,” you say flatly, and in an effort to keep from getting emotional, push it back across the table, and retreat to sit in a chair across the room.

After some time, and some convincing, Tommy and Ellie leave to go on their tour of the school. When the door closes behind them, you swipe the photo from you and Joel off the table and slide it into your back pocket. You tell yourself it’s so Tommy can’t show it to Joel, but really it’s because it’s one of the only memories you have of yourself before the outbreak, when everything felt perfect.

Just as you back away from the pictures, Maria appears at the bottom of the steps. She looks exhausted, and before either of you can speak, you wrap her in a hug. Partly because it looks like she needs it, but also because you just want to feel close to someone you trust, even if it’s only for a few seconds. “How are you holding up?” you ask.

“I finally get some peace and I’m using it to work,” she says, leading you into the dining room, where all the paperwork is spread out. Your plan had been to write a new amendment to the town’s constitution, which then had to be approved by the council.

Maria hadn’t stayed away from her job as the leader of the community for very long after having their son, despite your encouragement for her to take it easy. She had experience with her previous son, Kevin, but you imagined it didn’t make life with a newborn any easier. So you tried to help her out with any chance you got, especially because you knew she’d do the same for you. it was just how things between you worked. She knew even more about you than Tommy did, and you told each other everything. Well, almost everything….

“You should take a nap or something.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I’m serious,” you insist. “I can write a draft while you sleep and then you and I can do the revisions together.

She seems reluctant, but after making you swear you’d wake her if the baby starts fussing, she lies down on the couch and you begin working.

Like your old job, you don’t really like doing this. The only job you have in Jackson that actually excites you is the work you do with Eugene, and going on patrol. But this work makes you feel the most useful. And despite the fact that you had always been skeptical of authority – you believed in her ability to keep things in Jackson running smoothly.

About an hour later, you’d drawn up the draft and Maria stirs from her nap. The revisions don’t take very long, since you both are usually on the same page, but when you start packing your things up to go, she seems surprised.

“Are you hanging around until dinner?”

“No, I have to meet up with Eugene,” you say. “Plus, Ethan’s at home hungover so I told him I’d make him soup.

“Do you think he’ll be up for dinner tomorrow night?” she asks. “Tommy keeps pestering me.”

“Well he’s still too young for his hangovers to last two days,” you smirk. “So yeah, I think he will.”

“He invited…..Joel, and Ellie,” Maria says hesitantly, watching your face. “Is that okay?”

“I mean….it’s not my dinner party.”

“You can say no. Or not come,” she offers. She hadn’t been there the day you’d seen Joel again for the first time, but it sounds like Tommy has given her the rundown.

You shrug. As much as you don’t want to admit it, being forced into the same room as Joel is a little exciting. “I’ll go.”

“Are you doing okay with that?” she asks. “I told Tommy not to surprise you, but he didn’t listen.”

“It’s all fine,” you say, which isn’t entirely a lie. At the end of the day, everything would be fine. The stakes weren’t life and death. When Maria seems unconvinced, you continue. “I mean, it feels like he’s being a little rude…but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Maria lowers her eyes, pauses. “Has Tommy’s ever told you about any of the stuff Joel got him into when they were on their own?”

“Not really,” you say. “But I know they were on bad terms.”

“I didn’t know you back then,” Maria begins. “So I don’t know what you saw in him, or what he was like. But….I don’t think he’s….I don’t know if it’s worth getting emotionally invested again.”

“Oh, bummer. As you know, reconnecting with an ex is my main priority right now.” you deflect with a smirk, but Maria doesn’t seem as amused.

“Fair,” she says. “But be careful. I saw what he did to his own brother. I don’t want it to happen to you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” you assure her. “Whatever he’s done, I’ve dealt with worse.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-April 20, 2024-

When Joel and Ellie arrive at Tommy’s, it’s clear immediately they aren’t the only people that were invited.

Seeing the life that Tommy had built for himself here – a thriving community, a wife, a son – fills him with a certain level of envy. But mostly….he’s ashamed. Back when they were hunters, Joel was adamant that it was the only way they could survive, despite the horrible things they were doing. The worst part was, Joel really believed it. Now, the nightmares still chasing both of them, he realizes he was wrong. Even if Tommy won’t say it out loud, Joel knows he resents him for those days, how he’d been forced to trade away so much of his humanity. For Joel, violence came easily – shockingly so – an outlet for all his anger after losing Sarah. But Tommy had always struggled. And even though there will always be love between them, the tension was still there.

He’s still adjusting to life in Jackson, only leaving the house when Ellie drags him out, and when Tommy trains him to go out on patrol. It’s hard to accept that he’s not on the run anymore after the chaotic nature of the last year. Only Tommy knows his darkest secret, and he intends to keep it that way.

While Ellie does seem somewhat hesitant to leave him alone, she does seem a lot more enthusiastic about life in Jackson. Joel knows it’s a good thing, and once again, he feels like he’s let her down by not leading by example.

Tommy greets them both once they step inside, and Joel is polite — something he’s been trying to do more of lately. Maria gives him a tight-lipped smile, one that tells him she’s trying to be civil despite her reservations. God only knows what Tommy has told her about their time together. At least he can understand where she’s coming from. Had they met twenty years ago in Austin, they probably would’ve gotten along. Nowadays, he’s not surprised when people don’t like him, because he hates himself, too.

But Maria still entertains them with general pleasantries and questions about how they are settling in, despite looking incredibly flustered. Ellie is more apt to answer them then he is, Joel standing by with his thumbs in his belt loops.

Over their shoulder, Joel sees you, standing in the corner of the front room with your back turned to him, deep in conversation with your nephew. He’s smiling and telling a very animated story, at one point clapping his palms on your shoulders and shaking them violently while you giggle. It makes him think of you and Sarah. Therein lies the problem. He’s become a little more comfortable discussing his past with Ellie, but there’s a limit to what he’s capable of, especially after repressing so much for so long.

The oven goes off, and Maria excuses herself to the kitchen, inviting Ellie to follow along. Joel and Tommy are left standing in the entryway together.

“You invited her?” Joel asks, not bothering to hide the venom in his voice.

Tommy steps back, giving him incredulous once-over. “It’s my house, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what game you’re trying to-“

Tommy shoves Joel into the dining room before he can finish his thought, out of eyesight from the rest of the people in the house. “I’m not playing games, Joel. She’s family. Maybe not to you, but definitely to Maria and I. And she’s never shown you anything but kindness. So grow the fuck up.”

Before Joel can think of another objection, the sound of a baby crying cuts through the air. Tommy freezes at the sound, until you call out from the other room. “I got him.”

“Come on,” he says. “Maybe you can muster up the courage to hold your nephew.”

He wants to tell Tommy that he’s trying, even if it doesn’t look like it. But it almost feels better to allow himself to be the black sheep. It makes things easier. If he keeps that door closed, he’ll never need to worry about the problems that lie on the other side. Still, he begrudgingly follows his brother in the other room.

When he enters the front room, you’re holding Maria and Tommy’s son in your arms.

After Joel had learned that Ethan was your nephew, he was unsurprisingly relieved. What did surprise him, however, is that some small part of himself was disappointed. Sure, if you actually had his child while you were separated it would have been devastating. But before all this, all he had wanted was a future with you, would’ve gladly given you children….really, anything you wanted.

He tries not to let his eyes linger on you too long, lost in the daydream of what could’ve been, but you meet his eyes and give him such a sterile, polite nod that it’s almost painful.

Dinner is uneventful. Joel ends up seated directly across from you, Tommy’s doing, no doubt, but you do a good enough job of engaging in conversation that you don’t spend much time looking in Joel’s direction, and when you do, he doesn’t recognize your expression. It does give him the chance to study you up close, which he hadn’t done yet, and immediately regrets.

He’s still just as attracted to you as he’d always been. Sure, you’ve aged, but so has he – although you wear it much more gracefully. When Tommy offers to pour some bourbon into Ethan’s glass, he refuses, and for whatever reason, you stifle a laugh, the wrinkles around your eyes more prominent than they used to be.

After dinner, when the plates have been cleared, you disappear. He can feel himself growing overwhelmed, so he steps outside onto the back patio for some air. You’re sitting on a porch step looking out at the yard, but when he steps outside, you turn.

When you register that it’s him, you return your eyes forward again, and Joel remains silent, even considers walking back inside without a word. But he stays there so long, contemplating, that you’re the first to speak up.

“You know, if you stay here….at some point, you are gonna have to acknowledge me.”

Joel knows he’s the antagonist right now. He’s well aware. But he can’t help himself. Despite that, there’s no malice, and no bitterness in your voice. But you are direct.

And, because he’s never been good at refusing you, he gives you something in return. “I guess I’m just surprised to see you here….” He recalls a conversation you’d had long ago, curled against his chest, staring up at the stars together. “Being a city girl and everything.”

You turn to look over your shoulder, gaze making him feel warm, a small smile on your face. For a split second, you’re looking at him how you used to, and then it’s gone. “It is sort of a miracle, isn’t it?”

He ponders this, and you continue.

“It’s good to see you, Joel,” you say softly. He wonders how you can make general pleasantries sound so sweet, and is surprised at how easily you betray yourself with the words. Though he had noticed a pattern at dinner. You weren’t nearly as guarded as you used to be. He wonders how that’s possible, if you’ve made it this far.

“You too.”

518 notes · View notes

jennay · 10 months

Text

Misunderstood

Request:

I wanna request rory culkin in lords of chaos being in his record shop and seeing a not so normal customer for such a shop, he sees a pretty girl wearing her pretty mini sundress having her cute makeup and hair done, she looks all dolled-up ykyk. she basically goes there to buy something for her brother but she's so not into it, she so shy and "scared" to go there but she eventually does it and like euro kinda finds it adorable even tho everyone there is teasing her (AH IDK IF THAT MAKES SENSE LMAO, I just need fluff and cuteness and yk maybe a little spicy teasing IDK HEHEHE! hope u have a great day!!!)

Master List

An: I Hope this is what you wanted!

Words: 1700

Warnings: None. Maybe shit talking?

Shivers ran down your spine as you walked down the dark, dirty street. Why your brother thought it was a good idea to send you to this part of town was beyond you. You understood his foot was broken and needed someone to run errands for him, but you didn't belong with the people he associated with. You weren't into death metal, didn't wear all black, and you definitely didn't rage against the machine. You were quite the opposite. You enjoyed your colorful wardrobe and bubbly music and were more of a rule follower. You NEVER got in trouble or put yourself in a bad situation.

You had heard rumors about the record store and its owner. Some said he was a cult leader who performed rituals in the basement. Others said he was a serial killer who lured unsuspecting customers into his trap. Others said he was a vampire who fed on the blood of young girls like you. He wasn't twenty-five, but innocent people's blood kept him youthful.

Of course, you didn't believe those stories, but you still felt uneasy as you approached the store. It looked like a rundown shack, with faded posters and graffiti covering the windows. The neon sign flickered and buzzed, spelling out "Rock 'n' Roll Heaven." You wondered if that was meant to be ironic or ominous.

You pushed open the door and stepped inside. The smell of dust and mold hit you like a wave. You saw rows of shelves filled with records, tapes, and magazines. You also saw posters of rock stars and bands, some of who you recognized and others you didn't. The place was dimly lit by a few lamps and a jukebox that played an old song you couldn't name. Where the hell did you step into?

You walked along the aisles, scanning the labels and covers. You could feel a few different sets of eyes on you, and you tried to keep your head down but glanced up a few times with an awkward smile, hoping they didn't come toward you.

One man stood at the counter pretending to read a magazine, but his eyes would flick to you. He'd nudge his buddy and whisper something you couldn't hear, making you anxious.

"Sweetheart. I think you stepped into the wrong place." One of them says, staring at you. "You need to go to the record store on Broadwater. They have all that bubble gum pop shit you're probably looking for." You notice his piercing blue eyes carving into your soul, and you try to look away, but it's a trance. His long black hair hangs in his face, and deep down inside, you want to remark how he should stop wearing women's clothing and grow up, but the rumor of him eating people comes back to your mind, and you keep your mouth shut.

You find the name of the band your brother had mentioned, and there are several different pieces of vinyl, each from a different year. Why didn't he tell you the name?

"Do you not talk?" Another one calls from the counter.

You look up at him again, blushing, "I do. I'm just looking for something, and I'll be out of here." Your eyes return to the records, and you grab the newest one. Your brother was a collector, and it was more than likely he wanted the more recent item.

You hear his footsteps walking around the counter, and just to your luck, the bigger one is coming toward you. The one who looks like he might attack you.

He walks up to you with a smirk on his face, holding a cigarette in his hand. He blows smoke in your direction, making you cough. He looks at the record you're holding and snorts. "You're kidding me. You're buying this crap?" He grabs the record from your hand and examines it. "This is their latest album. It's garbage. They sold out to the mainstream. They lost their edge. They used to be good back in the day." He points to another record on the shelf. "This is their first album. This is where it all started. This is real music." He hands it to you and takes back the one you had chosen. "Trust me, kid. You'll thank me later." He winks at you and returns to the counter, leaving you speechless and confused.

Kid? You weren't a child.

You cautiously walk to the counter, noticing two of the three men sitting in the corner watching some gory horror movie, and you do your best not to make a face at it.

You try to play it cool like you weren't in your favorite red and white sundress that you'd just bought, you weren't wearing the cutest sandals you'd ever seen, or you didn't get dolled up for the day knowing where you were going.

You tried to ignore the stares and whispers of the other customers, who looked at you like you were an alien. But you knew you couldn't fool anyone.

"You're brave walking in here looking like that. You look like you got lost on your way to the Barbie convention." He sounds playful, but you'd be lying if you said it didn't hurt your feelings.

You bite your lip, wishing he would just tell you how much you owe him, but he seems amused with you and taking his time. He grabs the record with a smirk and taps on the cash register.

He looks at you with a mock surprise and says, "That'll be a hundred bucks, please." He chuckles and adds, "Just kidding. It's only twenty. But I'll take a hundred if you want to tip me for my excellent service." He winks at you and holds his hand, waiting for your payment.

Your eyes deaden at his joke; you don't find him amusing. He hands you the record, still smiling as you walk away from him.

"Hey, I'm gonna take a smoke break." He tells the others and follows behind you. Was he following you?

Part of Euronymous felt guilty for the way he was acting. He didn't want to admit it, but that was his best attempt at flirting, and he failed miserably. "Hey, wait up." He says, catching you before you cross the street.

You stop, looking back for a second before you sigh and drop your shoulders, "Why so you can continue to be an asshole to me?"

He runs his fingers through his hair, holding his cigarette to his lips. "I wasn't. I didn't…Look, I think your style's cool. I, uh, I don't know how to talk to pretty girls." He admits.

Your brows scrunch together with confusion; you aren't sure what his game plan is. "I'm not really into Satanists or cult leaders, so you don't have to waste your time apologizing to me or trying to make me feel better about myself. I think you're tacky, just like your store."

He looks hurt by your words, but he doesn't give up. "Well, I'm neither of those things." He pulls his cigarette from his lips, "This is weird and I know this is weird, because I'm weird, but, let me at least walk you to your car. It's getting late and I'd feel like a shithead if something happened to you."

You hesitate, not sure if you should trust him or not. He doesn't look like a bad guy, just a misunderstood one. But you've heard stories about people like him, who pretend to be friendly and turn out to be monsters. You don't want to be another victim. "I'm walking to my brother's house, and I'd prefer you not to know where I stay." You tell him, but part of you wants to take his offer. It's creepy at night, and you have no way to protect yourself if something was to happen.

He remains quiet, watching you rethink what you just told him. Why did you tell him that? He could easily follow you and find out where you live. You curse yourself for being so stupid. "If I let you walk me home, promise not to stalk me?" You ask him, hoping he's not lying.

His laughter rings in your ears, "I won't stalk you. Between my band and owning the shop, I don't have time to stalk anyone plus, if you want to see me, you know where I work." He playfully winks. "Come on, let's go. I promise I'll behave." He smiles at you with a charming grin that makes your heart flutter. You wonder if he's as bad as you thought or just a lonely soul looking for company. You decide to give, hoping you won't regret it later.

You make small talk, asking him about his band. He tells you that his band is called Mayhem and plays black metal, an extreme and controversial music genre.

"I'm glad you came in today. I know it can be a bit over the top, and I'd be lying if I said we weren't being judgemental dicks." He laughs, his eyes dart to you nervously, waiting for your response, but you continue to watch the sidewalk. "I hope part of you doesn't believe I'm what everyone says."

You tilt your head up, looking at him with curiosity. You wonder why your opinion would matter. "I think you're misunderstood but you kind of like it that way."

He shrugs and takes a drag from his cigarette. "I do enjoy being a rebel and an outcast. I like making people uncomfortable it's entertaining to see how fearful people are." He exhales the smoke and looks at you with a smirk. "But maybe I also like surprising people and showing them that I'm not a monster. Maybe I like being normal and human."

"You know, nice doesn't look bad on you. You should try it more often." You're able to genuinely smile at him this time. "Well," You say, stopping in front of the apartment doors. "This is it." You don't know how to end this interaction. It's not like this was a date or a friendship.

He nods, "Alright, I'll see you around?"

You shrug with a playful smile as you open the door, "Maybe."

He throws his hands in the air as he walks away from you, "I'll take it!" He says, his voice full of excitement. He looks back at you and gives you a thumbs-up, making you laugh, and he disappears into the night, leaving you with a story to amuse your brother with and a memory that might make you return to the 'scariest' record store in town.

#rory culkin #euronymous #lords of chaos #euronymous x reader #fluff #euronymous x you

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anisespice · 1 year

Text

“ bust your windows ” || cheater!headcannons

“ you should feel lucky that that's all I did. ”

synopsis: this fool underestimated just how little you tolerated cheaters.

pairing: various x gn!reader

warnings: mature language, MDI. light violence, cheating, diff ways reader deals with it, mentions of blowjobs, mentions of a foursome, and i think that’s it. feel free to lemme know if i missed anything! ッ

notes: @bagels-yummm this one’s for YOU. after reading their post about reader never showing that R A G E when it came to being cheated on, i couldn’t agree more. even tho my recent story involving that very premise didn’t have that sweet revenge plot, i am here to contribute! hope you enjoy ♡

BUST HIM UP: PHYSICALLY

For those who want to really let him have it, you’d confront his cheating ass the moment you found out. Right as he was having a cute little lunch with his side piece, you came barreling through the door with a sardonic grin spread across your face; the instant horror on his brought you great satisfaction.

“‘At the gym’, huh? Didn’t know the gym sold fucking croissants!”

He abruptly stood, spluttering, already trying to do damage control. But you were a raging hurricane, and he was a shitty apartment that didn’t have the correct insurance. Before he even got the chance to spew some bullshit excuse, he’s met with scorching hot reality hitting him square in the face. Not only did you throw his drink on him, but his little date’s as well, and both were still fresh. He screamed bloody murder, hands trembling as he held his boiling skin. It wasn’t hot enough to actually melt it off, unfortunately, but his sounds of agony sufficed.

Everyone in the cafe merely watched with mixed reaction, some enthralled whilst others felt the authorities should be called. You couldn’t care less, too busy chucking the napkin holders and decorative potted-plants at him now that he was immobilized.

“Yeah, yeah, you piece of shit! You like that? How that karma feel, huh? Wanna fuck other bitches, hm?”

By now, he was curled up on the ground. His side piece had long vanished, not wanting to stick around knowing your wrath would be directed at them next. After publicly humiliating him, you caught your breath and gazed down at his cowering figure with pure distain. He groggily begged for forgiveness, claiming it you had it all wrong, but you weren’t born yesterday. You scoffed incredulously—Did he think you were stupid? As if you didn’t have receipts.

The photos, the messages, the fact he was dumb enough to let them use the Netflix account YOU paid for. And now, he wanted to insult your intelligence? Please.

Without hesitation, you spat on him.

Was it necessary? Probably not. But neither was cheating on someone you claimed to love more than anything, and clearly didn’t mean it. You were gonna have to carry that hurt for the rest of your life; he should be grateful you didn’t do more.

“Don’t bother coming back for your stuff. I already burned it all.”

SHINICHIRO, takemichi, chifuyu, kazutora, OIKAWA, kyotani, tanaka, kageyama, kenma, HAWKS, mirio, denki, SHINSOU, deku, twice, [insert anyone else who would fit].

BUST HIM UP: MENTALLY

For those who want to play the long game, you’d act none the wiser to his infidelity. It stung like nothing you’ve ever experienced before when you caught him in bed with some whore, and it took every ounce of your willpower not to set it on fire with them still in it. Because, deep down, you knew men like him only learned the hard way.

And you planned on making him suffer.

You started by acting real sweet with him. Months of you cooking him full course meals, giving him unprompted blowjobs, massaging his aching muscles after a long day, the whole nine yards. He thought he died and went to heaven, so much so that he saw his little plaything less often now that his lovely s/o started pampering him. Man’s was so confident that he was getting away with it, he got sloppy; let his guard down.

“Honey, can I use your phone real quick? I need to look up a recipe, but I think I left mine in the car.” You asked, fluttering your lashes with cute pout on your face. He didn’t think twice, especially not when you looked at him so sweetly. But once he turned his back, your burning gaze was filled with anything but.

The doorbell rang later that evening, and you were nearly done with dinner. He raised a brow, gaze lingering on the door—Neither of you were expecting anybody, to his knowledge. As you were chopping up the last of the vegetables, you venomously called out to your boyfriend, “Answer it.”

His lips pursed at your tone, but chose to ignore it. Doing as instructed, he lazily made his way to the door. At first, he figured it was just a neighbor, but when he checked the peephole...his blood ran cold. Practically ripping the door off its hinges he hurriedly came outside and shut it right behind him, back pressed against it as he stared bewilderedly at his side piece standing before him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He lowly hissed, harshly grabbing their upper arm in mild panic. “I told you to never come around here again, are you out of your goddamn mind?”

The person blinked, startled but also confused. “What are you talking about? You were the one who begged me to come over. Said you dumped that nagging bitch and finally kicked them to the curb.”

“What? I never—” he paused. Then, realization hit him like a bus. But, before the dread could even build in his stomach, the door opened behind him. A cold chill ran up his spine.

“Oh, great! You made it just in time for dinner. My name’s [_______], the nagging bitch. So nice to finally meet you.”

RAN, RINDOU, baji, hanma, wakasa, mikey, kokonoi, izana, smiley, IWAIZUMI, mattsun, atsumu, suna, bakugou, sero, dabi, [insert anyone else who would fit].

BUST HIM UP: EMOTIONALLY

For those who want to twist the knife, you did the one thing you knew would fuck him up HEAVY. And that was to trample on his already fragile ego.

He was very possessive, never took kindly to those with wandering eyes whenever it came to you. Always worried someone better would take you away from him, and it got worse when it came to his friends. You reassured him numerous times that it would never happen, promising that he was more than enough for you.

Sadly, the sentiment wasn’t mutual.

He tried to hide it from you, but eventually the guilt became unbearable. And so he came clean. This man sobbed. Cried full on ugly tears and blubbered nonsense as you fought to keep your own composure. You felt sick. After everything you did for him—Boosted his confidence, made him feel special, and where did that leave you? Broken-hearted, with grown man tears staining your good sweater.

Nothing he said was going to ease this kind of pain, and he knew that. So when you walked away, he figured that would be the last he saw of you. But, that was far from the truth.

When you showed up to his apartment unannounced a few days later, he was shocked. He already looked like complete shit, and judging based on your expression, you thought so, too. He wanted to question why you were here, but before he could get a word out, your lips roughly claimed his own as you held him by the nape. He wasn’t prepared for the clash of teeth and tongue, soft whines leaving him as you pushed him inside and toward the bedroom, distracting him from the impending shadows that trailed in behind you.

The next thing he knew, he was tied to his bed, looking about ready to succumb to the best hate-sex of his life. However, what he didn’t expect to see were a few of his closest friends entering the room. There’s an unspoken tension that develops, alarms sounding off in his head as the last one shuts the door and locks it. What were they doing here? Why were they looking at you like that? Those same alarms only grew louder as they each wordlessly stripped off their clothes, with you soon following suit. Starting to struggle against his restraints, his heart began to pound against his chest; he didn’t consent to a foursome.

He immediately made that known, but you merely chuckled. The sound made his stomach turn in the worst way. When he went to demand explanation, you shoved your underwear in his mouth. Despite his better judgement, homie couldn’t help how hard he got from the situation, letting out a weak moan as your hand gripped his jaw and squeezed.

You leaned over his vulnerable form, grin sharp as you glowered down at him while he struggled against the tight knots. He saw a glint in your eye that held anything but good intent—And with your next few words, he couldn’t have been more correct.

“They’re going to fuck me. And you’re going to watch.”

ANGRY, draken, mitsuya, sanzu, KAKUCHO, tendo, kuroo, BOKUTO, akaashi, osamu, hinata, NISHINOYA, sugawara, todoroki, kirishima, TAMAKI, shigaraki, [insert anyone else who would fit].

#🍁wasabi #tokyorev #tokyorev scenarios #tokyorev headcanons #tokyo revengers #hq #haikyuu #hq scenarios #hq headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu headcanons #mha #mha scenarios #mha headcanons

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alice1505 · 5 days

Text

I made the mistake of rewatching Sherlock because I never did finish it back in the day (I was -clenches fist- seething over the queerbaiting and rage quit after not fully watching episode 1 of s4) and I'm here to make my side hyperfixation (what year is this??? Who am I???) Tumblr's problem. The more I sit with s4, the less I like it 😂 There were pieces and elements I liked, but overall, it left a bad taste in my mouth. Forgive me if any or all if these points have been talked to death, I missed all the discourse and I'm hella late, but I need to flail and send my thoughts into the void because what even WAS that season? I can't believe I avoided it for years, got drawn in by a couple of tiktoks making fun (affectionately) of superwholock Era and That Scene about the fucking phone charger port, binged all of it, only to be left with..... that. Not nearly as disappointing or rage inducing as spn's ending but by God, did it leave a hole in me. So please ignore my rambling thoughts as I slap them down here for my own sanity.

• First and foremost, what - and I can't stress this enough - the fuck was UP with the assassination of John's entire character???? What was that??? Why????

• Related to that point - I can appreciate the angst point and potential it provides, as I'm reading many, many fics, but AYO WHY didn't anyone rip John an entire new one for that beat down he did on Sherlock????? Hello???? 911?????

• Tell me why everything felt so stilted and borderline icy. Like I get the high emotions and shit, but after a certain point... 😭 was there a falling out between Benedict and Martin that I'm not aware of? Did they just try to ungay everything so hard and were so pissed at the audience picking up everything THAT THEY PUT???? into this show and their interactions that they just hit the brakes hard enough to make everything feel weird???

• A lot of it felt weird. Off kilter a little. Forced in some places, toned down in others (and toned down where it shouldn't have been), a nod to ships but weirdly/hatefully??? Idk if that makes sense. Like the whole Sherlock and Molly phone call (I do not mean any hate to this ship, I really hope it doesn't come off this way. Not my cup of tea but you are valid). Why was Molly so upset BEFORE the call? Did I miss something? Also I don't personally think or feel she'd still have those feelings for him??? I??? I am bamboozled.

• to that whole point, Eurus was.... Hmm. Mmmm. She was. Something. (Confused derogatory)

• I like Mary as a character. I also hated her. (Definitely biased by my shipper trash ass self for johnlock, I'm sorry). Wtf were those messages, please. Edit: AND ANOTHER THING. John's reaction to Sherlock's death - awful, gut wrenching, beautiful, my heart breaks with and for him, utterly devasting. John's reaction to Mary's death - had me sitting there like🧍‍♀️(it was weird. so weird. awkward. w h y. (we know why, but also the acting choices were Something TM, in both cases! for different reasons!) i'm sorry i just can't get past my anger and put off-ness with mary, fun as she could be)

• why did mycroft and John switch roles 😭 pls. The last episode was just. So Much. The lackluster responses from John, to John, to Sherlock, between them, like.... hello???? Who are these people?? Help me. Moriarty saved me for a brief shining moment tho, God bless.

There's more I could spew, but that's what's sitting right at the top of my head. I guess all this just to say, if a show runner/writer really just fucking hates the audience they got (instead of the one they wanted), they probably shouldn't have fucking become a show runner/writer in the first place. Either hand it to someone who can actually handle it and listens, or fuck off. I will never understand when shows and plots and characters gets kamikaze'd because of a show runner being pissy and egotistical. Like ????? Grow up. Learn from Bryan Fuller and Hannibal or something.

Sorry for all the rambling, bless anyone who reads this and makes sense of it 😂

#sherlock #bbc sherlock #sherlock holmes #john watson #johnlock #season 4 #s4 #steven moffat #mark gatiss #yo wtf #rambling thoughts #ranting #rip me

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4awny · 2 years

Text

Sp Driving Headcanons that literally nobody asked for

Stan:-

first one to get his licence obvs

usually a calm and defensive driver

gets a scratch on his car and says aw man my dad's gonna kill me

even when he's 30

drives drunk probably

car is a mess. shit everywhere

overall? man can drive. 8/10

Kenny:-

doesn't have licence. couldn't afford that shit

drives anyway

and it's his brother's piece of shit car

can't park for shit, usually just hopes for the best

has a bunch of naughty bumper stickers for sure

can fix his own car

something always broken

huge dent on the side. "jeez man, how did that get there?"

knowing full well it was a hit and run

felt bad so left a note on the dude's car: hit your car but I'm broke and dont have a licence. my bad sorry. hope you get it fixed

somehow never gets pulled over

overall, dude shouldn't even be on the road. 1/10

Kyle:-

suspect to road rage. man's got issues

hates traffic with a white hot passion

no one is allowed to eat in his car... ever.

cartman is the only one that ignores this rule and is constantly hiding wrappers in random places to annoy him

it annoys him

has run a red light on more than a few occasions

got caught speeding. argued his way out of it. thanks dad

overall, a decent driver but mf needs to chill. 7/10

Cartman:-

hates slow drivers

will happily park in disabled spots

and will say "not every disability is visible!"

and then actually gets offended when someone calls him out for doing it

usually kyle

the type of asshole to say "someone better have died for this" when driving past a collision that got him stuck on the highway for 2 hours

tailgates people for fun

hates being tailgated

gets cut off. follows them for 20 mins just to call them a useless cunt

1 ticket away from losing his licence

overall? 4/10. enuff said

Butters:-

taps the wheel along to songs

sings a lot

sometimes oblivious to road signs

because he's usually looking at the scenery around him

drives 10mph under the speed limit

just to be safe

always offers to drive the guys

the guys: 😒😒😒😒

overall, 6/10. score would be higher if the singing stopped

Craig:-

finds driving a chore

but also likes having his own transport so he can bail anytime he wants

like that one time clyde surprised him with a huge birthday party. but that's another story

parks at the back of the parking lot

then regrets it when it rains

never gets to play his own music, because whoever's in the front is in charge of the bluetooth. it's always clyde

mf always giving lifts to people

for free too

always questions himself why he does it

overall, dude deserves a medal for putting up with so much shit. 10/10

Clyde:-

never drives. simple as that

thank fuck for craig and drive thrus, huh

overall, the leech gets a solid 0/10 and that's being generous

Tweek:-

6 failed attempts before he eventually passed

thought he was cursed

turns out he cant drive for shit

only drives to places he's familiar with

so basically a 3 mile radius from his house

drives in silence. man cannot concentrate

tells people to shut up if they are talking to him when he's driving

like I said, man cannot concentrate

overall? I mean, at least he tries. 5/10 for effort

Tolkien:-

listens to the same radio station

pretty observant. can see the accident before it even happens

the most sensible driver out of everyone

somehow never gets asked to drive tho

takes advantage of that

always offers to pay for gas

is the only one that does

overall, a great driver. 9/10. wd buddy

#thanks for coming gang #about time i contributed #south park #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #craig tucker #eric cartman #kyle broflovski #clyde donovan #tolkien black #token black #tweek tweak #butters stotch #southpark #south park headcanons

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asmogorna · 2 months

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I can't recall if I have already asked you this or not, but were you the one who drew this?

(If so, then I need you to know that this is the best Will Wood fanart that has ever been made. Plus he would totally wear that.)

i'll tell you more. there's a prequel to this. and i have a huge history with this very art. grab your hot cocoa, your popcorn, or whatever else you consume when listening to a story..

NOW tbh this mf piece of art makes my heart sink every time i see it simply because the memories of the past still haunt me and theyre not lovely /hj

imagine, year 2023, (relatively) young asmogorna doesn't yet know how twitter can get when it comes to fandoms based around real people, and his friend gives him an idea

"i had a dream about will wood drawing hamilton yaoi" his friend said to him "you should draw that"

and draw that young asmo did

but then a funny teehee connection was created in asmo's head. "hey" he thought "you know what else is related to hamilton. miku binder."

and he, inspired by this truly humorous and silly idea, drew that very masterpiece, posting it on twitter later that day, with the caption "i am so sorry mr william wood". "oh what a splendid laugh me and me lads (mooties) shall have" asmo thought, as he closed the website

yet little did he know, that the next time he opens twitter its going to be multiple people jumping him and beating his ass in the qrts

"erm,, why are we drawing real life cis men in binders?? /neg /genq" they chanted

"will wood would KILL this person" they howled

" they preached, as they threw their torches and rotten tomatoes at stupid young asmogorna

he was shocked, truly shocked, for he did not expect such a backlash. the last thing he had in head is implying that mr william sunshine woodiam of the okultra is trans with his art, his mind blown by the amount of people misunderstanding his intentions, for he didnt even think about the intentions people would assume he had. "where tf did i ever say that this is a headcanon of any sort THIS DOESNT EVEN HAVE TO BE A BINDER FOR TRANS PPL WHAT ARE THEY ON" he mumbled softly to his friends, glancing at the raging crowd.

asmo shamefully deleted the post, wrote a public apology thread, and decided to throw the painting he put so much shits and giggles in out in the trash, forever forgetting his legacy....

but to be fr tho that shit was funny asf and im still mad at twitter for making me look like one of them tallyship mfs who headcanon real life people as .. anything really😭

will wood would scoff and giggle in disappointment at this MAX trust me his ass does NOT gaf

#i lowkey want to tag this as will wood but at the same time im not getting cancelled all over again

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pieroulette · 9 months

Text

#1 — Open The Door, Please? ▶ KOGA YUDAI.

warning: yandere content, noncon kissing, profanity. toxic relationship. implied noncon.

author's note: well idk, first installment to my goal of #100 fics for &TEAM (mostly for kei tho) also a somewhat 'explicit' practice outside my comfort zone so i can finish route 1 this week.. im coughing and laughing so hard again omg.

splayed fingers dug deeper on your jaw as you tried to stifle a gasp from the raging knocks behind the door, tears fighting it's best from streaming down your cheeks.

"(name)! open the door!" there the devil incarnate himself yelled on the top of his lungs, innocent eyes bloodshot opened as he punched the door relentlessly.

how has it come to this? and devil? why were you even calling your sweet, sweet boyfriend that way? what had happened?

well, you couldn't fathom it to your core as everything had move in such a speed that you unknowingly got on your sweet boyfriend, kei's nerves, back in the classroom.

you remembered it so vividly with the way the marmalades shade of the sunset reflected against his bead-like orbs, forming a reflection of a gemstone or of that an opal. his loose strands stick against his forehead as the result of his exhausting physical training. beads of sweat trailing down his jaw as he took a long inhale and exhale in-between, and yet the pretty smile on his faint pink lips never ceases to exist.

a pretty smile that was only for you.

yet it all started with him voicing out a rather desperate question after that, one that questions your loyalty.

and of course you defend yourself in return, throwing the question back at him. one question turned into two, and two turned into four and fourth question had the innocence adorning your boyfriend's face contorting into an expression you'd rather not remember.

hideous, no, it was more of an angel dropping low to the lowest point of hell.

kei spewed words that you couldn't imagine would come from his lips that you oh so adore.

"that piece of shit is staring at you more than he should! (name)!" kei lets out a scoff paired with disbelief, finally standing up on his feet. his height towering over you as he approached you menacingly.

"kei, do you hear what you're saying now?" you shook your head, filled with disbelief. taking a few steps back, your eyes refusing to blink. "this is not you!"

"oh you sweet dumb girl, what should i do for you to understand?" his bead-like orbs wavered in utmost affection for you as he cupped your cheeks with his large palms, "what should i do?"

"k-kei, this isn't you." you stuttered, you felt as if you're a little bunny encaged in a wolf's arms. "let me go, you're.. going insane."

"insane? love? just who's the one getting insane between us?"

"i don't give a care anymore, let's quit it. kei." your lips trembled, yanking away his hands—taking a firm resolution against the taller boy. "let's break up."

his wavering orbs immediately switches to an soulless one.

excruciating silence consumed the comforting shades drenching the classroom. this was not how you expected everything to turn out. especially not his next words you hope you'd never hear.

a melodious giggle escapes from his lips, sending shivers down your spine. the boy lowers himself down to your height, somewhat conveying a mocking tone. "baby, you've seriously gone.. dumb, aren't you?" he furrowed his brows, waiting for your answer. "well, that must just be a mistake, isn't? take it back."

"no." you replied immediately.

"what?"

"i said no, i won't take it back." you tried your best stay as brave as you can, yet your right hand gripping your trembling left one says otherwise and kei was quick to notice it.

his eyes softened as his demeanour switches once again, fixing his posture as he caressed your hair down. "i'm sorry, i scared you didn't i? c'mon, it's getting dark. let's just go back home, hm?"

"no! i said no!"

kei reached out for you in desperation. "(name), i said i'm sorry—"

you hung your head low, stepping as far as you can away from him—your feet almost stumbling against the table. "koga yudai, please you're scaring me. just—please let's not meet for awhile."

"huh?" kei tilted his head down, loose strands swaying below those eyes of his that kept switching between tenderness and chaos. "no, no, why do you think i'm gonna agree with that?— fuck, i knew it. they're getting inside your head."

and before you knew it, you ran. your feet bringing you to somewhere as far as you can away from that madman.

but your ears caught on to his last words echoing through the hallway, a gasp left your mouth as you took one last look at him—leaning against the doorframe in such a leisure manner, observing you intently.

amusement spreads over his lips, giggle escaping one after another. "do you really think you can run away from me?!"

his frightening words had adrenaline surging all over your body, you ran for your life. you kept running and running with your mind clouded by him that you got lost somewhere in the town, stumbling upon an abandoned neighbourhood. your city was truly a silent and secluded area, consisting of only elders and roaming around when night falls.

people quickly returned to their homes, recuperating in their quarters which resulted in such a deserted street.

it was only then that you realise how truly foolish you are to forget that between you and your boyfriend, he had the upper hand in this very situation.

and truly, he was right.

judging by how your heart kept sinking and sinking with every punch the door receives, you were beyond frightened that the door might break at any point due to how insanely mad he was.

but then, it went silent. utterly silent that you can feel the cold crawling across your trembling bare legs.

"honey, open the door please?"

you pushed yourself deeper against the wall behind you, searching for refuge you knew was no longer there, a refuge that won't hide you away from this double-faced monster.

a voice so tender and deceiving, paired with the light knocks—a stark contrast of how he was a few seconds ago

"can we not fight anymore please?" kei begs, looking down as he rested his forehead against the door.

you gulped down your throat, refusing to be fooled by the monster behind that door. yet it wasn't until a minute later that you heard a low murmur that gradually turns into faint cries.

"(name).. it hurts."

a slight pang engulfed your beating heart, hesitation soon arises—manifesting through your feet rubbing the floor in unison with your thoughts.

"i can't do this alone without you." kei's lips trembled, taking a huge exhale with every deep cry. "you're all that i need."

"please, don't leave me alone."

you stood up on your feet, shaking enormously as you approached the door little by little.

little by little, till the faint cries grew clearer and audible. your hand reaches out slowly to the knob, yet you immediately paused. wondering why are you letting yourself get fooled by those innocent cries behind the door?

you took a few steps back, placing your clenched fist on your chest as a comfort. shifting your gaze to the window with a newly found plan emerging from your mind. yet before you can do so—

"are you not really going to open this door? don't let me count." kei's faint cries dissipates, replaced with a voice so deep it crawls through your soul. "i know you're here."

your eyes grew wide, fear taking all over your hesitance—sending you into a total crying mess as he begin to count. your feet scattered around before you made up your mind to the window, you tried to pull the the window open yet the enormous distance from the window to the ground had your heart sank.

yet you can't think, you should jump or else—

bam! bam! bam!

the door flew open in such a way that it had you emitting a shriek, your feet fighting it's best to stand up amidst it's constant trembling.

there he was; black familiar lush hair and bead-like eyes that held insanity within it. those features you so adore and yet fears so much to your core.

"ah, ah, not so fast." kei's head tilted downwards, emitting a rather playful demeanour paired with his small smirk. sprinting to your helpless form before you can jump over the window, his hands wrapping around your wrist pulling you to his chest. the smirk on his lips grew wider and wider as he finally caught his prize; you.

a game that was rigged from the very start. too bad, the wolf will always wins the game.

"hm?" he hummed, placing his chin on your head as his right hand rubbed your back softly. comforting your crying frightened form, trembling so hard in his caged-like embrace. your hands on his chest trying it's best to push him away yet he won't budge one bit. "hush, don't cry."

you could hear his heartbeat with your ears against his chest, he felt so warm and so comforting that you wanted to return the embrace, his words held so much affection and care for you that you could fall asleep right and there yet reality was sickeningly awful to you.

kei lifted your chin with his index finger, forcing you to meet those orbs you found so adorable. and before you can act or say anything, his lips finds its way to yours.

kei's saliva seeps through your tongue as he deepens the kiss, his carnal desires manifesting ever so strongly by how his long fingers dug deeper and deeper to your nape. his left arm wrapped itself around your waist, as he pressed his body against yours to the wall.

you fought for air, yet he fought for you. his eyelashes remained still and firm as he continues to relish himself in your lips, you who is his lover he oh so adores.

he was alot more stronger than you and it didn't cost him an ounce of energy as he lifted you up from the floor, placing you on top of the table. smashing everything out of way with his hands. resulting in a scattered objects across the floor.

his lips never leaving yours as he does all of that, only pulling away at last to get a cough of air. your head drops down, gasping relentlessly with tears spilling from the corners of your eyes. his hands returned to your form, spreading all over your back before pulling a fistful of your shirt—ripping it.

"kei, stop!"

he slips his hands beneath your shirt, meeting your bare skin and up your bra strap. snapping it playfully as he smirks, "love, don't you think you have to own up to me for pissing me off?"

his large hands pulled your thighs open, pulling you to his hips as deep and close as he can. desiring so much of you that his fingers pushes away your hair locks, wet lips trailing down your bare neck and shoulders.—sending goosebumps down your back and legs.

kei grew more irritated with your hands pushing him off, opting to pressed it on the table rendering you more helpless than ever.

"i told you to open the door earlier, now look what you have gotten yourself into." kei murmurs with his teeth biting off your shirt's button, tongue licking and nibbling your collarbone.

"now, be a good girl for me and tell me who owns you."

#18092023

#k smut #andteam smut #&team smut #koga yudai #&team oneshots #&team imagines #andteam k #andteam imagines #andteam oneshots #&team x reader

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emmyrosee · 1 year

Note

hi emmy! congrats on the milestone!! (im sorry for being late 😔) u deserve so much more love <3!! i feel rlly proud for u, even tho i started following u not long ago :) i can feel u being sincere with everybody which is rlly cool! :D and i wanted to do 27 from your prompt list and 4 from the second list on hugs w/ tsukki :) i hope u have a great day and stay healthy and take care!! -anon :)

YOURE SO SWEET, THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS 🥺💖

Honestly I want this to be a place where anyone feels welcome to poke around, so to kinda hear that you get that vibe really does mean the most. ALSOO my first Tsukki piece!! Hope I didn’t do him dirty!!

27 “I swear, I’m not scared”

4 Hugs “Comforting”

—

“Are you sure-”

“Yup. I am perfectly fine with this circumstance.”

Despite your quivering words and tense shoulders, your eyes never leave the screen. Seems to be mistake, as instantly, the monster portrayed in the film hides just in the background, barely in sight. Kei rolls his eyes while yours absolutely refuse to leave the monster that lingers without being noticed by the protagonists.

Next to you, an equally scared but exponentially enthralled Yachi, on the floor are the other three third years who shout at the stupidity of the characters on screen.

Movie nights have always been a tradition, especially on Halloween; like hell you were going to disrupt the fun.

Not like you were scared or anything.

“If you’re scared, I can ask Tadashi to-”

“I swear, I’m not scared,” you hiss. Your body betrays you, as your finger nails dig at your cuticles, anxiously scanning for the monster the movie finally has panned away from.

“But what if it’s real?” Hinata says, popping some gummy bears in his mouth.

“What if what’s real?” Kageyama asks back.

“Like, what if you were killed in any rage? Do you think you would come back as one of those?” Hinata’s finger nudges at the screen, referring to the horrors as if they’re not fake.

“You keep talking and I’m gonna kill you in a fit of rage,” Kageyama snaps, and a few feet away, Tadashi snickers.

“If I come back as one of those demons, I’m gonna haunt you so bad!”

Next to him, Kei hears you whimper, and he lets out a snarl at the idea of the others making you afraid.

“That’s enough,” Kei finally snaps. “Shut the hell up, or we’re leaving.”

“What’s the matter?” Hinata teases. “You scaaaared we’re gonna haunt you?”

You look away, embarrassed. If looks could kill, Hinata would be buried by Kei’s.

“You already haunt my everyday life, that’s horrific enough.”

Finally, a quiet falls back over the group, engrossed in the rising tension. You look like you’re completely settled in rigor mortis, and you look so scared he thinks you could puke straight onto Yamaguchi’s rug.

With a deep inhale through his nose, sucking up his pride, Kei wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to his side. You make a small, confused noise at the sudden affection, and he noses at your hairline.

“Kei? What’re you-”

“I’m scared,” he says simply, though there’s a total calm in his voice. He conceals you slightly in his frame, the flashing on screen dimmed in his hoodie fabric. “Hate this shit, but I know you want to finish it, so I’m just gonna... hold you.”

An overly wordy, but extremely soothing “I know your stubborn ass doesn’t want to leave, so I’ll keep your cover.”

You blink, surprised at the gentleness in his voice, but you decide to curl against him adoringly, melting in the comforting embrace, the friends scattered around you two being none the wiser to the chatter between you both.

You press an soft kiss to his jawline, feeling immensely better in the bulk of his arms. Your eyes gently flutter close and you take selfish inhales of his scent, mumbling a soft “thank you,” into the meat of his bicep. He nods and settles back down for his own physical comfort, the whole group gasping out as another scare plagues the air surrounding you both.

The scare fades, and you feel your breathing even out as you rest against your boyfriend, mind at ease and-

“Ohhhhh, I get it! Tsukishima wasn’t scared, but-”

There’s a sudden thump and a pained whine from Hinata, quickly then followed by “don’t kick me, Suckishima!” Your laughter gets muffled in the hoodie, mingled only with the other laughter from the other boy, Yachi quickly asking if the middle blocker was okay.

Definitely a tradition.

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kitten4sannie · 1 year

Text

24 - ᴘᴇɢɢɪɴɢ - ᴊᴏɴɢʜᴏ

ꜰᴏʀ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ’ꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴛʜ

pairing: anti hero! jongho x fem! reader

genre: the boys au (just the universe tho. nothing from the show is mentioned except for compound v), angst, smut

summary: you take care of your friend after he has a rough night.

w.c: 2.3k

warnings: mentions of violence, blood/light injury, mental deterioration, sub! jongho, service top! reader, pet names, use of the word 'mommy', nipple play (m receiving), pegging, spanking, subspace

a/n: we’re getting real deep in it again ;; but don’t worry it’s very smutty too just really dark as well 💔 there might be some spelling/grammar errors in this just fyi.

FFF Masterlist

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

Being the resident “strong man” in the super hero scene wasn’t easy. It took a toll on him mentally and physically, feeling his bones and muscles ache a little more each day, but refusing to quit, knowing everyone was counting on him. No one ever bothered to warn him about the consequences of dealing with evil, either. It required him to give into the darkness inside him, sinking a little further into the abyss each time he had to put someone down for the sake of another’s safety. He didn’t know exactly when, but at some point, he had been swallowed up. Stuck in the cage that he created, still holding onto the key that he refused to use.

It should’ve scared him when the sounds of bones crunching under his fists, the smell of the blood that would drip down from his face onto the wet concrete, and the small breathless pleads that the person below him would whisper to him as a last ditch effort to live all started to appeal to him. Sooner or later, he felt that he lost himself completely, only seeing bits and pieces of his former self when he would stare into his tired reflection in his shattered mirror at home.

Jongho became the type of person that didn’t take shit from anyone. Built like a tank and as intimidating as one, no one ever dared to give him trouble, unless they were psychotic or a raging masochist. Most people were scared of him, rebuking his name after the reports of the bloody messes he would leave behind, despite his genuine efforts to keep the general public safe. Though, there was still one person he felt comfortable enough around to show himself to without all the layers of filth. His old friend from before it all, who always chose to stay beside him, even when everyone disappeared from his life one by one.

“Y/N,” Jongho mumbled weakly in front of your front door one late night, covered in fresh cuts, his eye swollen, with some smeared blood already dried on his cheek. “I know I usually call, but…I just…really needed to see you.”

Holding your robe closed due to the cold air hitting your skin, you took a step back, letting the slouching man enter your residence. “Jongho, what happened?”

“I saved a woman from her psychotic, Compound V-using boyfriend.” He leaned against the wall, awkwardly reaching down to untie his combat boots, leaving a few smears of blood on the white surface. “He put up a fight. I’ll give him that. Though he didn't really have a chance. Not after I smashed his face in..." He set his shoes in the corner and glanced up at you, wondering why you didn't look at him like everyone else did. With fear. Revulsion. Instead, you looked at him with a tenderness he felt he didn't deserve.

You closed the door and took careful steps in his direction, reaching your hands up to caress his stinging cheeks, not saying anything. Just letting him feel your warmth.

You could remember the first time he came to you this late at night. Covered in blood that wasn’t his, sobbing in your arms, crying that he had to do it. He had to do it to protect everyone. He didn’t have a choice. Now he stood here looking at you with a distant gaze, like the person inside him took a break from manning the controls.

“Jongho…” you murmured, gently rubbing your thumbs over his jawline, leaning in to press your lips onto his as softly as you could. You felt him lean into it, his hands sliding onto your hips, barely touching you, like he was afraid you would shatter into pieces. You broke the kiss, your forehead pressing lightly onto his. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Jongho shook his head, his dark black hair swaying a bit, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Just want you to make me feel better.”

He always meant one thing when he said that.

“You want to be my baby tonight, Jjong?” you asked sweetly, some sadness hidden inside your tone. You wished you could do more for him. More than just being a distraction from the pain.

“Please,” he practically begged, resting his head on your shoulder, his body starting to slump down onto yours, the walls he kept up starting to crumble around him. “Please, Y/N, I want to forget…Make me forget…”

He wasn’t a monster. He couldn’t be, not when he was still able to feel the way you made him feel. Soft. Safe. Warm. The complete opposite of the evil he dealt with. The evil that he let hold on to him like a straightjacket, only able to be free of it when he visited you.

You laid on Jongho’s scarred chest, pressing kiss after kiss onto his cheeks, his neck, his collarbones. Hearing him sniffle, you reminded him, “You’re safe, baby. You’re safe with me.” Running your fingers over each of his ragged scars, you brushed your lips over each one, whispering ‘you’re safe’ like a mantra that you couldn’t let go of. Each reminder allowed Jongho to sink into the mattress a little more, to pull himself out of the cage inch by inch, the barriers coming down one by one to reveal his fragile heart of glass.

“Want your mouth on me…” he requested under his breath, his calloused fingers sliding up your bare lower back, his cheeks sporting a light blush.

“Where, baby?” You ran a thumb experimentally over one of his nipples, making him shiver and gasp. You let out a small gasp as well, rubbing it in circles, feeling it harden against your skin. “Here, right? Because they’re so sensitive, huh, baby bear?”

“Mm-hmm. M’ really sensitive there.” Jongho tugged at his slightly swollen bottom lip with his teeth, his blush growing deeper, his hands traveling up and rubbing your upper arms almost in a self-soothing way. “Play with baby bear.”

“I’ll play with you, baby.” Positioning yourself so that you could begin lightly grinding yourself onto him, you leaned your mouth down onto his untouched nipple, flicking at it with moderate pressure, while you continued to tweak the other one.

Jongho let out a small whine, arching his back out off of the mattress, his hands sliding down to your thighs to grab at them, squeezing your soft flesh in between his fingers. “Lick the other one too, Mommy.”

Pulling away from his chest, a small string of saliva connecting your mouth to him, you murmured, “Mommy’s going to take care of you, alright? So keep telling Mommy what you want…” You leaned yourself back down, licking and sucking at his other nipple with varying amounts of pressure, flick, flick, flicking your tongue on it until Jongho’s moans began to crescendo, still dragging yourself back and forth on his cock all the while.

Jongho’s mind was feeling pleasantly empty, buzzing with pleasure instead of pain. It was everything he could’ve asked for. He wanted to stay in it as long as possible. And he knew you would do everything in your power to make that happen. “Nnngh, gonna cum from Mommy playing with baby bear’s chest,” he informed you breathlessly, encouraging you to move your mouth back onto the other one, lapping at it like you were licking a melting ice cream cone.

“Baby bear’s gonna share his honey with Mommy?” you asked against his skin, thumbing both of his pebbled buds with quick, but pressured swipes, now moving your hips so quickly, your bed began to squeak underneath the two of you. “Hmm? Is baby bear gonna spill his honey everywhere?”

“Uh-huh…!” Jongho threw his head back into the pillow behind his head, a choked cry coming from his dry throat. “It’s spilling out, Mommy…” His cock pulsed and twitched, painting your cunt and inner thighs with his load, some spurting out onto his lower abdomen. “It spilled everywhere…I’m sorry…”

“No, no, don’t be sorry, baby bear,” you reassured him, lowering yourself further down his body to lap at the cum, looking up into his glossy brown eyes, his sweaty black bangs already glued to his forehead. “It’s okay to make a mess for Mommy. Always.” You swallowed his release down, making Jongho let out a soft sound of approval, before dragging your tongue up his pelvis and v-line, cleaning him up one swipe at a time.

You made him feel so clean. So pure. Like he could ask for things without worrying about feeling like it was dirty. Dirty like the grime that was left underneath his nails every time he came home on nights he spent pounding people into dust. No, he couldn’t think about it. Not when he was here with you. He just needed to escape for a little while longer. That’d be enough to keep him in touch with his humanity.

“Baby bear needs Mommy inside…” he admitted in a broken tone, tears threatening to leave his stinging eyes, positioning himself on his hands and knees when you climbed off of him to put your strap on. “Need Mommy’s cock.”

Pouring some lube onto the silicone cock and rubbing it around, you climbed back onto the bed, looking down at Jongho, who was already reaching back in between his legs to scissor himself open for you. “Mm, is baby bear sure he wants it rough? He doesn’t want Mommy to be gentle?”

“I want it rough,” he confirmed firmly, resting his face down onto the sheets with his ass up in the air, sliding the tips of his fingers inside, looking back at you with a somewhat serious expression. “Okay?”

Watching him leave the space he was in, you followed his lead, wanting to cater to his every need the best you could. “Whatever you want, baby.”

“Jongho,” he whispered, his sore fingers gripping at the sheets, taking in a small inhale. “Call me Jongho.”

“Jongho,” you repeated softly, pouring lube onto your fingers and replacing his, slowly working them in and out, taking in the desperate, needy moans he was letting out. “Are you ready for me?”

He nodded his head weakly, swallowing hard to keep the darkness from spilling out of him and consuming everything in its path, including you. “Please, fuck me as hard as you can...I need it..."

Pushing the head of the toy into his entrance, you placed your hands on his hips, battling your own demons all the while. Why couldn’t you bring him true comfort, instead of whatever this was? Were you really helping him? Why couldn’t you help pull him out of the hole he was burying himself in? Why were you just standing idly while he sank deeper and deeper?

Sweating heavily, Jongho emitted harsh breaths, his mind feeling fuzzy around the edges. He was starting to unravel, unable to hold himself back. You were fucking him just like he wanted: unrestrained, vicious. He groaned loudly, pulling at the sheets so hard he tore into them, being driven forward each time you pounded yourself into him. “Hit me,” he growled out, his sore body pulsing with an intense pleasure he wanted to envelop himself in. A pleasure that was more fulfilling to him than when he- Smack. His ass stung and throbbed, but it wasn’t enough. “Again!” Smack. Smack. Smack. “Grab my hair, Y/N. Grab it and pull it.”

You hunched over him slightly, breathing hard, closing your eyes tightly to prevent tears from coming out. You grabbed a tuft of his damp hair and pulled it, bringing his head up in your direction. “Like this?”

“Uh-huh,” Jongho sighed out, his brain and body beginning to flood with endorphins he never thought he was capable of feeling. He was still human. Not a monster. If he was a monster, he would only feel these types of things when he was crushing someone with his bare hands. “Flip me around. I want to kiss you.”

Only pulling out for a second, you flipped his body over with his aid, spreading his thighs apart and plunging yourself back into his slick hole, laying your body back down onto his. “Come here…” you whispered, slotting your lips onto his, his tongue already slipping inside and exploring your open mouth.

Moaning into your mouth with each thrust, Jongho wrapped his arms around your neck and hooked his legs around your waist, your sweaty bodies melting together. Warmth, wetness, pressure, pain, pleasure, euphoria. You weren’t sure where you ended and where he began. It was all blurring together in a mess of static.

“Cumming,” Jongho whispered against your lips, his eyes just barely open to look into yours, holding you so tightly against him that you were starting to feel dizzy.

One more rough thrust of your hips sent Jongho over the edge, gasping sharply as he started to cum, his load leaking out in between your sticky bodies, his limbs constricting around you like a python about to have its next meal. “Jongho...you’re…” you began in a strained voice, unable to breathe with the way his forearms were positioned around your delicate neck, tapping his shoulder a bit. “…squeezing too tight…”

Still deep in the throes of pleasure, feeling it wash over him, wave after endless wave, he held on just a little longer, squeezing a little harder, feeling your heart begin to slow down against his, your body beginning to relax more and more into his.

“Jong…ho…” you murmured underneath your breath, feeling like you would be crushed any second now, your fingers barely brushing over the tough skin on his chest. “Pl…ease…”

Locking everything away in an instant, Jongho suddenly let go of you, allowing your lungs to fill back up with air, rubbing your back when you began to cough painfully. “Y/N, shit…I’m sorry, I was just…”

Shaking your head, you pressed a kiss against his warm cheek, wheezing into his ear. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Jongho.” You rested your head in the crook of his neck, running your fingers through his damp hair. “You’re safe…with me.”

Jongho smiled to himself, resting his hand on the back of your head, closing his tired eyes, a few tears slipping down his flushed cheeks.

He was still human. Able to do human things. Feel human emotions. Pain. Pleasure. Regret. Hope. He could feel it all. For what it’s worth, at least he could still return to his cage when he needed to. He wasn’t a monster, after all.

✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖✖

FFF: @hwalysm @scuzmunkie @creativechaoticloner @dilucpegg3r @yeosxxx @gemjimin @wonwowzers @sanjoongie @manipulatedstars @k-drizzle

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

#ateez #ateez smut #jongho #jongho smut #choi jongho #ateez jongho #ateez imagines #jongho x reader #ateez x you #ateez scenarios #ateez drabbles #kpop smut #jongho x you #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez angst #february filth fest

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deceasedream69 · 9 months

Text

Red

Summary: you have Scarlet witch powers. But when you get too angry your eyes start glowing red and you kinda lose control of your powers, there's no way of stalling your rage, but Marc's used to it.

A little angsty :)

--------------------------------------------------

Glass shattered all over the place. There's still a couple of "wolves?" Around.

She was fierce. Her eyes glowing red, but I can tell she's already getting tired, still not backing away nevertheless.

She pierced with her magic through a wolf's chest, pulled it's ribs out of the chest and then throw it to kill another, repeating this trick one more time. We both turned at the same time. A person was in danger, and screaming.

She caught the wolf in front of the person and threw it away, getting closer and closer.

The man just stood there, half relieved half scared while looking into her eyes, she just lifted her fist and I knew that was my cue.

- "okay, sweetheart, time for a break", I grabbed her from her waist and pulled her away from that poor scared man.

She tried hitting me but I grabbed her fist, just a few inches from my face, a really bad choice. With her other hand she used her magic to throw me away.

- "enough, enough, time for the big guns", I prepared myself.

Being sneaky was my thing, she didn't even see me coming behind her and Bam! Needle to her neck. She wasn't pleased at all, but I still managed to pour the whole thing in before she threw me away one last time, or maybe not the last of the night.

I was fast to caught her in my arms. She finally looked so peaceful.

3rd person pov

Her head was spinning, slowly fluttering her eyes open, trying to balance herself without touching the white figure in front of her. One white glove on her thigh.

- "hey, sht, look at me", his other hand on her chin, moving her head up. Her eyes switching, but staying more y/e/c than red.

Flinching back, in a reasonable way since there was a strange white figure in front of her dizzy body.

-"hey, it's me", his hand now on her shoulder, moving slightly. His mask fading in an attempt to make her calm down. She looked at him.

- "Marc..." then down

then up again.

Eyes red again.

- "Marc"

He smiled, relieved, tho, he shouldn't be.

- "you fucking lying piece of shit", each word being cut off by a slap.

- "wow, wow, time out"

- "don't try me, Spector" he was stuck between a wall and a glowing red hand.

- "I'm trying to be reasonable... And patient", he lifted his hands in surrender.

- "or what? You'll abandon me again?", The pain in her voice was not something she was embarrassed for, but something that made her even angrier.

His mask was on again, everything turning black for her after that.

Part 2?

#imagines #fanfic #marc spector x reader #marc spector #moon knight #moon knight imagin #moon knight imagine #konshu #steven grant x reader #jake lockley x reader

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karlwriting · 2 years

Text

You lost Toji’s pay cheque

Featuring - Toji (contains spoilers)

re-blogs and likes are appreciated :))

Just fluff <3

You are in big trouble.

Toji gave you a cheque this morning before he went to work. He is in his usual tightly-fitted black t-shirt and grey sweat pants. You can never get tired of his physique. Lord his arms can just crush you.

"Just go to the bank and they know what to do, thank you kiddo. I am going now. Call me if anything happens." he gave you a kiss then headed out.

And you lost the cheque on your way to the bank.

If you remember it correctly, that cheque has 'USD$200,000' printed on it. Just thinking about it makes your whole body shivers. He never tells you how he got so much money every time, and you never bother to ask cuz you respect his privacy.

Although Toji seems to earn much, he never buys something expensive. He enjoys affordable healthy meal you two make together, staying indoors to watch documentaries on Netflix and cuddle (tho at the end you are not able to tell Netflix that you are still here cuz you are drowned in intense pleasure, Your man's stamina is no joke.)

'Shit... where did it go?' you check your bag once more, but unfortunately the miracle did not happen. Toji is out to work and probably will be back by midnight, so you got a lot of time to look around. You start searching from your shared apartment to all the places you have been today.

'Its already 9pm... should i look for few more hours? I am so tired.' You sit down on the bench to massage your legs. You went to a few police stations, the cafe you stayed this afternoon, and many places but none of them give you good news.

You feel like you about to cry cuz you lost such a huge amount of money. You bow you head down to hold your tears, suddenly you feel someone is standing next to you. You lift you head to see who it is.

"Kiddo- Wait what happened? Are you hurt? It's alright now, nothing bad will happen to you cuz I am here, come here baby." Toji immediately kneels down on one knee in front of you when he sees you are crying helplessly. He came home early today but found the apartment empty, it worries him so much that he immediately went out to look for you.

He cups your cheeks with his huge palms, gently massaging them. you want to see Toji's face but your eyes are too blurry, you can only feel the leathery skin of his palms.

This man fears nothing in this world, except your tears. He doesn’t fear how the Zenin family treated him before he met you, but seeing you cry is unbearable. He pulls you close to hug you tightly, left hand stroking you spine like you are a baby. A smell of sandalwood goes into your nose.

"Sorry I came late." He kisses the corner of your eyes, heart almost broken feeling your upper body shaking.

‘Did some bastards hurt you?’ A huge wave of rage fills his heart.

'I'll torture those bastards in the most terrific way possible.' Torturing someone is a piece of cake to him, he even kills people without feeling any sense of immorality. But he never lets you know.

"Toji I lost the cheque on my way to the bank… I am sorry." You spoke with few hiccups as you feel better in his arms.

"Mhm, is it the only reason you are crying? Please tell me you are not hurt." He didn't stop stroking you spine.

"No I am not, but I lost the cheque-'

"Don't mind the cheque, money means nothing to me when I've got you. Now let’s go home, shall we?” He turns around and gestures you to climb on his back, he is gonna carry you home. He gets up carefully to make sure you are holding on tight.

“Aren’t you curious of how i got this much money?” He asked on the way home. His muscular back feels amazing to lie on, it’s like you will never get hurt when this man is around you.

“You will tell me when you want to, everyone got secrets.”

‘That’s why you are so special to me.’ Toji knows he is not a person who expresses himself openly. But to you, he will try.

On the way home, Toji tells you how bad he was treated in the Zenin family. He never got financial support, even got locked up in a room full of curses. After becoming an adult, he earned a lot with his ability but he never found true happiness. Before he met you, he spent all his money in a speed of light cuz he was gonna earn them back anyways.

“Then here you are, a kiddo who suddenly runs into my life. You make me want to plan my future - a future that i am not alone. I start to enjoy simple things, i even developed a daily or weekly routine with you which i never thought of. So what’s so important with money if my baby is not happy?”

Toji feels surprised that he actually opens up to someone, and it feels good. He decides to tell you about his job someday, he needs time.

“I won’t let that happen again, i promise.” Your eyes become watery again.

“I have a method to prevent this from happening again.” Toji smirks.

“And what’s that?”

“Punishment.”

Seems you get into a real trouble this time.

#jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #toji #toji fushiguro #toji fluff #jjk x reader #daddy toji #toji x y/n #toji x reader #jjk toji #toji zenin

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beautifulpersonpeach · 4 months

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Do you think the article not mentioning jimin’s #1 but mentioning JK’s (even tho jimin was first) is weird? It makes me sad they continue to devalue his achievement.

https://x.com/jiministrending/status/1752781448644383149?s=46&t=XuCx8v8aEyRQWy2cALbK1Q

***

You might as well be asking me if I think it's "weird" a Billboard article didn't mention Yoongi breaking the record for US rap album sales, or his record-breaking tour in the US...

But rather, you think it's weird the same Billboard that put Jimin and his fanbases on blast as though he bought that achievement with Chinese cash, the same Billboard that changed the rules right after that achievement, you're surprised the same publication skipped over that particular achievement in the myriad of all the other achievements they skipped over for other BTS members?

I'm not sure how to say this tactfully, but I don't relate to that person's outrage nor your sadness over an article like this. I'm not attached to any BTS member or BTS as a whole, in a way where I'd react like that to something like this. It just makes no sense to me.

Sometimes, I get asks that link me to akgae pages asking for my two cents on this or that thing that solo stans are raging about, and I usually don't answer them. I've probably not said this explicitly anywhere, but I'd like to use your ask to formally make this psa:

Please do not send me asks about whatever PJMs are mad about. I genuinely think a good chunk of ARMYs are crazy, and akgaes are nothing but the mutated, less intelligent life forms of whatever fandom they're an off-shoot of. I can't relate to half the shit that has them excited for 20 out of the 24 hours they're awake and on the internet, and PJMs certainly aren't the exception.

I read that Billboard piece as an article from a publication that's reluctantly making way for the machine that is k-pop. In fact I highly doubt Bang PD would be listed as high as he is if Scooter wasn't on the peg with him. There's so much happening in the world and much bigger fish to fry.

Jimin is happy and thriving, he earned #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 because of his exceptional talent and the massive fandom support he's built over 10 years. He continues to excel in the military where he's serving the next 17 months with his "forever best-friend" and even in that harsh environment he's excelling. His company is preparing his next solo projects while he's in the military, projects that will also undoubtedly succeed. And when he's back in 2025 with the rest of BTS, they'll be all back doing what they do. Whether or not Billboard likes the idea.

#bts solo stans #jimin #billboard #bts

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jazeswhbhaven · 5 months

Text

Beel, Are You Srs Brah? WHB Event React Part 4 *Spoiler Warning*

Now you know the drill, gotta check out the previous posts if this is the very first part you're seeing <3 ->

Also to note, if you click on Part 3 here, it also has a way to get back to Part 2, and from there to Part 1! These will be added to master list too.

Here's to this being the final part hopefully~ Don't forget to get more snacks if you need ♨(⋆‿⋆)♨ TW://child death,violence

We're starting off with straight up angst everyone.

So we meet our buff-ass angel from the previous part (yes the one who disguised himself as a tiny devil woman) and he's here without the scar roughin' up Dre's twin brother D:

So in short, the buff angel beats the twin brother so badly he's barely alive, and Raph finishes him off. They described this very grisly, stating that he was cut in 6 pieces. Dre sat there helplessly and watched his brother die in such a way, especially for a child to see his brother die like that. PB really brought in the traumatic events this time around. It makes me wonder if anyone else has a dark past revolving around angel trauma (I know Levi does but I haven't gotten to that part of his bath story just yet)

Dre was full of rage when he charged toward Raph, he didn't care that he was swatted by the buff angel, and was offered the same way as his brother as he waited for death. Raph for whatever reason decides to cut his eyes as injury to insult, and then even worse the sword of light that slashed Dre's neck didn't make a clean cut so I'm sure that shit hurt and he was just going to leave him there to bleed out. An interesting development though is that Dre's brother who's dead...his amputated arm grasped his hand?? This is so crazy to me because that's a powerful brotherly bond right there. Even in death.

So we're back from the flashback and Dre is happy that he ran into this angel, the same buff angel that offered up his brother to Raph like nothing, and he will make sure that his revenge is dished out the same way that he witnessed toward his brother. Raph is big trouble when Dre gets a hold of him. But he says that by going blind, he was given the ability to see clearly, and to sense his enemy, and this is a grim silver lining to his trauma is how I read it.

This is not simply a physical disability to him, but something to aid in avenging his brother and his family. He accepts this as his new life, and he's glad it's all coming together.

So our buff angel is not so big and bad now. He's literally crying and begging Dre for forgiveness and even offering a way to expose Raph's weaknesses and refers to him as a monster. I mean the man is just out here willing to throw his angel brethren under the bus just so he's spared.

And now here's where I chime in from when I mentioned I had something to say earlier?

Now I know this is a serious part of the story. But this is a huge sidebar that I thought of well after the event.

This buff fucking giant of an angel, is groveling, crying, a pathetic mess despite being way larger and taller in size and you can tell by his sprite that he is, no doubt.

And if you think back to the form, he chose a tiny smol non-threatening devil, sure there's not much to think about here he needed a sure way to disguise himself. But his behavior here, his choice of disguise....

I wanna bully this angel so badly just because it's up my alley for big buff characters to be submissive, soft, and somewhat of a bbygirl or just pathetic little things. Because it's unexpected.

Like I thought he was gonna give Dre a run for his money ya know? Put up a fight? Nope. Just sniveling and crying and obviously lying about how he thinks the devils are great and how he hates Raph (maybe he does hate Raph tho but regardless)

Now, since he took part in Dre's trauma, I'm aware it's questionable to want to slut him out, but it's like yeah Dre let me 'play' with this one for a bit before you slice and dice him. Call me disgusting or whatever but hey.

Well, after the entire scene with buff pathetic angel and Dre (no surprise he started torturing him and ripping off the remaining wing slowly and genuinely smiling as if he were in peace)

We are back with our Avisos bois <3 they had made it to the Cosplay Cafe with Stolas' help! You know with all the lights in Avisos they've been complaining about how dark it is, so I wonder if it's that kind of light where it's only helpful if you're near it or something? Or maybe it's just that bad of a night life where you gotta be careful.

So the topic starts of Stolas asking what a Cosplay Cafe is and while Nabe is trying to explain, Amon is like "Hey are the cosplayers on the menu?" Like, I don't know what it is about Amon but it's like he's horny but lazily horny? lol like I don't know how to explain it. But he also brings up that he prefers Maid Cafe's. So it's very much implied that he likes this sort of stuff, (wink Amon simps dress up as a maid and serve him well)

Nabe once again questioned Amon's intelligence since he was sort of spacing out at the moment but was really on task with Miss Dealer.

I just assume Amon is one of those ppl whose focus is always there, but unless it pertains to something revolving around Beel it's the least of his worries so low minimal effort.

Yay an Unholyc reference!!! (if you've played before this devil is cosplaying one of the three love interests named Jung Hi, it's been a minute since I played so I don't remember much about him per se but it's cute to see cameos in the game. We'll probably get more)

So our bois are in the cafe, seated and waiting to get on with gathering more clues.

And clearly Stolas is not getting the program xD Like bby why are you threatening the staff he's just doing his job?? And damn we can't tell each others name in Avisos or we get killed? Rough stuff....

So Nabe inquires if something has happened because everyone seems excited and the devil next to them mentions seeing Dre or what they think someone who looks like Dre come in and cosplay as the famous 'Angel Hunter' he was scared so he pissed himself apparently and shows everyone (lmao okay dude)

So Stolas starts cussing him out and stuff but that ofc doesn't work and he seems more excited about that...

But the topic goes on about Dre, and the rumors that are out about him such as he was cut into 6 pieces, he walked around with his head cut for three days before sewing it back on...

Stolas even brings up that hanging around someone like that is gloomy and depressing. (I mean he's super anti-social lol so he's the one to talk)

And here our bby Amon sympathizes with Dre, relating to how painful it is to fight the angels and it made me feel a pain in my chest. More angst now.

But Amon relates to him, saying that someone with that amount of rumors about him must be skilled at what he does and he understands why he hates angels so much. That someone like that will carry such sadness with him as long as there are battles with angels.

Stolas calls Dre bizzare though for wanting to taunt the angels by decorating himself with left over body parts of angels. Even more weirder that this actually works on angels in the first place.

So after speaking about Dre, the Jung Hi cosplayer comes back again and asks them if they're going to order anything and well...

our bois are broke broke

like b r o k e

there's a little spiel here that compares the devils of Tartaros to the ones in Avisos and whelp, in short they can spend it on whatever whenever, without having to worry. The devils of Avisos were frugal, painfully so to a fault. But there was also no way you could get info for free here. You always gotta buy something first.

So what I find funny is that Nabe basically asked Amon if he'd be willing to pawn off his Beel toy and he straight up was like "Nah." in the most coherent state he's been the entire time.

Everything else is half-assed, but when it comes to his Beel merch. Never. Not in his goddamned life.

That's when the Jung Hi cosplayer noticed Amon's little keychain and was like "Oh if you wanted to meet Beelzebub you should have let us know~" and then-

I'm squinting hard like now I know that ain't Beel...has to be a clone maybe, a cosplayer that's really good at their job perhaps...can't fucking be this easy that they found him at the last place.

So while all of us even the bois are still trying to see if this is the real deal Beel, he's getting them to order stuff from the menus and sitting them back down.

So while he's getting their order together, Stolas and Nabe are dumbfounded and not even sure if they can tell if who they're looking at is a cosplayer or not because of how accurate the personality is.

Btw, they mention that he speaks like he's drowsy. This means....he has that groggy sleepy raspy voice („ಡωಡ„) *drool*

Meanwhile, Amon out here crying and reminiscing his past and Beel is just like :D not even acknowledging it. (bless..Amon is so emotional like he is literally meeting the person he admires)

So we're set back before Armageddon happened, back when Angels just used to come down and fuck with the devils when they felt like it. Amon is seen here just coming of age, and his parents have died from a recent attack. Due to living in Avisos, even if he had neighbors, no one would help and he felt useless in this moment. (PB bringing the angst once again)

Beel came to him to warn him about not crying so loudly or he'd be a target (an angel was about to kill Amon too until Beel sliced it's head off) and when Beel is described here by Amon, it's almost like you can hear that angelic music or that nice music that's usually in Latin or something (I don't remember the technical term ;.;)

So Beel introduces himself because at this time Amon has no clue who he is. That's when Beel also reveals that Amon is one of the 72 devils meant to serve him!

So Amon is further confused about his new role he's never heard about and that's when some lore about the 72 is dropped on us. Only God and the 7 kings are aware by feeling who the 72 are. No one really knows who and why someone gets picked it just happens.

And that sometimes, the devil can alert their respective king during birth, other times the king may have to seek them out on their own, and in Amon's case...he needed a "trigger" so a traumatic event to make his status known to Beel.

And then there's a cute moment where Beel gives Amon a cookie and pats his head while he's eating it. And Amon is wondering why such a powerful devil, a king is being so nice and kind to him all the same breath. (because Beel is a sweetie)

Awh, so at first we have Beel being wholesome and telling Amon it's alright to cry and be himself in this moment. But then...he randomly fucking does this

naoifsdnkafjnaousdf nasdkjfn safm

----kamflkm

--0

Beel.

Please. We are trying to be serious here. You just found one of your nobles and you're licking tears (which seems like a Lucifer thing so that's odd) and saying you can make them taste better???? BO I

Alright, so we're left with t h i s and the next stopping point. And it's crazy because.... This officially means this is one of the longest reacts I've done T^T a part five next??? Lol Oh goodness.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb event #whb avisos bois 💚#whb andrealphus #whb beelzebub #honestly I can't believe this is part four #okay the next one is definitely the last part i swear

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