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answersfromzestual · 4 months

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I promised you all a reason why I do not use certain verbals.

Below are personal experiences, and some parts are violent.

Reason as to why I do not use words such as, "fag[got]", "queer", and "dyke" and idenitfying/calling someone "it".

I was always the weird kid, I didn't have much if any real friends growing up.

My own parents and siblings, to this day, call me names. I was a candle burning at both ends.

From an early age (as soon as i could dress myself), I dressed masculine, always wore boy clothes. Mother was okay when I was young because I was just a "tomboy." I had kids starting in first grade of all ages, asking me if I was a boy or a girl.I didn't have the answer. Everyone told me what I was, but I disagreed. I felt like a boy, but the world told me I was a girl... Having younger kids go get a teacher when they saw me in the bathroom, I would always shrug. It was embarrassing other children peeking in the stall... I was bullied into a feminine phase (dressing female, against what I really wanted, age 10-15). I needed to not be bullied as bad anymore. I wanted to push the feelings down and not stand out anymore... I just wanted to fit in and be like everyone else... I prayed to be normal or to leave.

High school was horrible...

I needed to go to the washroom at school during first period, which meant walking by the cafeteria... the seniors had their spare period, and i knew they sat in the cafe. They laughed as I walked by and one yelled "fucking dyke" at me, at the same time two teachers were walking by me the opposite way, talking. We were at the same place in the hall, they didn't say a word. They just kept walking, but they fell silent for a short time...

I had to walk home from school... there was two ways, one was longer and along a main road, where people would yell faggot, queer, dyke, fucking weirdo, out of their car windows at me, random adults and students from both schools in town. The other way was through the alley, faster and no one was around... I was always gambling if someone would jump me (attack me). I was just walking home after abuse from other students and teachers. And a group of guys following you saying "here, here little queer/dyke/faggot" whatever word they felt like using that day. I didn't have anyone to walk with on these days, it was band practice, I stayed later than my friends would...

I would run as fast as I could. They ran faster... Tackled me to the ground and beat me, fracturing a rib at one point. Being told I was worthless and they should kill me that would be doing the world a favor, as their boot hovered over my bloody face... That maybe I need a real man to fuck me to turn me (magically) a straight cis female. I never went to the hospital. My parents never saw the bruises all over my face. (My parents weren't the best). This was at least once a month.

I developed full-blown alcoholism and hard drug addiction by 15-16 years old, trying to numb the pain of everyone in the world rejecting me.

I worked at a fast food joint as a teen. An old man came up to my register, a look of confusion and disgust on his face. I greeted him, smiling. I had just come out to the first person at work, and she was awesome about it, probably half an hour earlier. He slid his empty cup across the counter and asked for a refill. While I was doing his refill, the girl I had just come out also asked if he needed help. He said in a big booming voice, throwing his hands up, "She,him, it, that thing there." *points at me* "has got my refill!" At this point, I no longer felt human. I felt like I was an unknown creature from another planet.

Those are some of the postable, less traumatic reasons why I don't like those words. I grew up, and they were all bad words to be or even be called. I lived in a small, very rural village, and it to this day, people aren't with the times.

These words have hurt me in many ways and I have no intention of the futile attempt to "take things back". Two things you can't take back, history and words. These words will always be hurtful to me, these wounds won't heal. These words are hate to me and always will be.

I do not want to take away your identity, I don't want you to feel negatively if you use them to identify. You are allowed to have your own vocabulary, views, and opinions. The rule is more of reasoning as to why I do not use them most of the time for identities.

If you can, please avoid using those words for me in asks? If you do, it's okay. If it happens too often, though, I may have an issue. I hope you understand and respect my point of view as I respect yours.

Respect the fact we all walk different paths, if you say to someone they have to "deal with it", while that person tip toes around your trauma. Please, respect is a two way street.

This also goes for any other people who have issues with the words, like my partner as well has trauma due to these words (she is part of the lgbtqai as well).

Thank you.

Tltr; I was verbally and physically abused, and the people would taunt me with those terms.

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frameacloud · 4 months

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Zinnia Jones (May 31, 2021). "Early use of masculinizing steroid oxandrolone in trans boys can add 2 more inches of height compared to testosterone." Gender Analysis. Live link. Archive.

The above blog post is about a study about looking for more suitable sorts of puberty blocking and hormone therapy for transmasculine youth. It found a treatment that is more effective for letting them grow up to be a couple inches taller, if they start it early, at age thirteen or fourteen. It's about this study:

Grimstad, F. W., Knoll, M. M., & Jacobson, J. D. (2021). "Oxandrolone Use in Trans-Masculine Youth Appears to Increase Adult Height: Preliminary Evidence." LGBT health, 8(4), 300–306. https://doi.org/10.1089/lgbt.2020.0355

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sensible-tips · 2 months

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What's Happening Wednesday

Updated membership tiers and perks of becoming a SensibleTips for T Guys patron.

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cree-future-rabbi · 4 months

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To find the entire blog and up-to-date posts follow: https://www.tumblr.com/answersfromtheshadows

This is just the new main account I transferred answersfromtheshadows to so I could have it be its own entity.

This blog will not be updated often / at all in the future. For further information, please follow :

https://www.tumblr.com/answersfromtheshadows

#ftm transition #answersfromtheshadows #follow answersfromtheshadows #ftm transition educational blog #phalloplasty #phalloplasty education blog #ftm top surgery blog #ftm bottom surgery blog #metoidioplasty #female to male gender affirmation surgery information #sourced information #relaible information ftm trans

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cosmokitt · 9 months

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Thank you for sharing those photos of yourself that you have pinned at the top of your tumblr.

I've wanted a chest harness like that for years but never bought one because they always emphasize my breasts.

Thanks to you I'm more sure than ever that I need top surgery.

You look amazing. Thank you.

Thank you so much friend 🫶 I wish you luck on your top surgery journey, and if you or anyone reading this has any questions about the process I’m happy to answer!

#top surgery #top surgery education #trans education #transmasc #ftm transition #No nip top surgery

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anxious-anomaly · 17 days

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[ 18+ blog || minors DNI ]

"I hate what you're doing to your body."

That's because you're comfortable as who you are. I'm not. That's why I'm changing. You can hate it all you like but it's necessary for me.

unless you wanna write my obituary, of course.

being dead sounds just as relieving as transitioning.

#vent post #vent #ftm #my fam when I asked if I could get a drive down to the hospital for top surgery next year #there's some level of irony in the idea that a nurse hates the idea of medical transitioning #like bro Im doing this to stay alive #I stopped doing a lot of things I loved to do because of dysphoria - my depression stems from the fact Im not who Im supposed to be #these are steps towards me finally being able to do the shit I used to love again - to finally feel comfort and happiness with myself #none of my decisions are made lightly - surgery is a necessity for me and has been deemed as such by my docs #this is FOR ME not for you #my dypshoria got so much worse since this exchange #being supportive really goes a long way #please try to be supportive #or at least consider whether or not something is just not your thing and dont let it cloud your judgement #everyone is different - everyone has different likes and dislikes - different requirements and needs that have to be met #you are not the main character of this story - you dont dictate anothers bodily autonomy - and thats okay #instead of making someone else your business bc u dont feel comfy about it - try educating yourself #find a diverse amount of sources - talk with anyone with experience in regards to the topic - keep your mind open #who knows - you might learn something neat

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genderkoolaid · 7 months

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I saw a post that was showing some statistics about trans women getting paid the least out of like al trans people like a way to discredit transandrophobia and compared us to cis mras and all I could think about was that trans men are the most likely to be suicidal out of all trans people and like I just wanted to scream at OP this isn't a competition we all are oppressed

Idk what study/studies they were citing, but I will say that this study suggests that trans pay rates are a bit more complicated than that?

They look at binary trans men (FTM), binary trans women (MTF), and genderqueer/nonbinary people AFAB & AMAB in the USA. Here are some findings:

Within the ‘Trans’ grouping, these estimates indicate that the income of FTMs ranges between 5–19% less than similarly situated MTFs. Within the ‘GQNB’ grouping, the income of AFAB GQNBs ranges between 9–22% less than AMAB GQNBs. For the ‘AMAB’ grouping, AMAB GQNBs income ranges 12–15% less than their MTF counterparts, with the exception of one insignificant decomposition estimate.28 Finally, AFAB GQNBs income ranges 13–26% less than their FTM counterparts in the ‘AFAB’ grouping.

Compared with this group, MTFs who transitioned from male-to-female later in life – between 25–29 years, 30–34 years, or ≥35 years – have incomes which are 30%, 43% and 52% more, respectively. In contrast, FTMs transitioning to male later in life is correlated with progressively lower incomes, with those transitioning at ≥35 years having 25% lower incomes than those who transitioned up to 24 years old

The two groups [identifying as wo/men vs. identifying as trans wo/men] of MTFs do not significantly differ along standard demographic or employment characteristics, while FTMs who identify as men have higher rates of education and income compared with their trans male identifying counterparts. The main differences in these groups are along trans specific characteristics. Those simply identifying as women and men are significantly more likely to have socially transitioned to living as their gender identity on a day-to-day basis, and to “pass” as their gender identity rather than their assigned sex. Of those who have socially transitioned, the age at which they began doing so does not significantly differ among these sub-groups of MTFs and FTMs.

Compared with ACS [American Community Survey] cis-men, those assigned male at birth (MTFs and AMAB GQNBs) have similar rates of labour force participation, while those assigned female at birth (FTMs and AFAB GQNBs) are around 4 percentage points more likely to be out of the labour force. Despite similar or lower rates of labour force participation, all transgender groups have higher rates of unemployment (5–8 pp) and, conditional on being in employment, being transgender is correlated with higher rates of part-time work (2–19 pp). All transgender groups have higher rates of poverty (8–16 pp) also.

This is just one study but I really like how it looks further into the issue and is inclusive of GQ/NB people. The authors actually point out how identifying as GQ/NB can result in worse treatment because of having a gender further outside the norm. I also find it interesting how they look at trans people who identify specifically as trans vs. just as men or women, and the result that trans-identified FTMs tend to have higher education and income- which could point to them having better access to transitioning through wealth and being more aligned with cisheternormative standards, giving them more experiences in line with cis men of their race and class, while FTMs who do not pass as cis(het) men feel their transness is more crucial to their experiences.

But anyways. Even if trans women are paid the least, that doesn't erase the real damage of anti-transmasculinity- but, also, it may be much more complex than that. There's a lot more variables to consider than just "trans or not trans." And, ultimately, we're all paid less as a result of being trans.

#m.#ask box #transandrophobia #transmisandry #anti transmasculinity #transunity

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wormswurld · 3 months

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can we have more ftm ollie 🙏

yes you can,, here’s some stuff from the top of my head! 🤗

- started going by oliver in middle school, though his mom would always call him olls when he was a kid (his deadname is olivia but olls, ollie, ol, was always said in his house)

- had HORRENDOUS posture due to constantly hunching over to hide his chest though once he started working out he made an effort to not only minimize the size of his chest but also fix his posture due to back pains!

- even though he’s been on t for like a year before he started going to oxford he still is super sensitive in regards to his t-dick <33 like anytime he sits down he has to grab his pants to prevent slightly grazing his dick making him wince and bite the inside of his mouth to hold back a groan *drool emoji*

- loves it when felix asks him questions about his transition & how he realized his transness etc, also loves educating felix on queer history and seeing how engaged and happy he looks while listening <3

- LOOOOOVES getting his dick sucked :33 like felix is so eager and messy it makes ollie’s toes curl anytime he’s spread out on his or felix’s bed with his hand entangled in his hair probably pulling it anytime felix flicks his tongue……

- SOBS when felix surprises him by saying he’s gonna paying for his top surgery :,) anytime there’s consultations, doctors visits, etc felix is right by ollie’s side not matter what! of course being the first person ollie sees when he wakes up post-surgery, a huge smile and small tears of joy running down felixs face as he makes his way over to place a gentle kiss on ollie’s <33 “you did it love, i’m so proud of you” !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and obviously felix nurses ollie back to health as he recovers, helping him get dressed & shower,, hell he probably even brushes ollie’s teeth and hand feeds him, absolutely spoiling him because if anybody is gonna be doing that to ollie it’s gonna be felix 🤫

#wormswurld answers #ask #ask me anything #ask anything #lgbtqia #saltburn #oliver quick #felix catton #saltburn posting #cattonquick #felix x oliver #saltburn 2023 #ftm! oliver quick #wormswurld brainrot 🌟

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answersfromzestual · 6 months

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Improved Blog Directory - Find what you need

BLOG RULES: PLEASE READ

Educational Article on the Phalloplasty Surgical Procedure -self written

How to choose clothing/shoe sizes during transition - clothing on smaller feet and frames

Formal Wear - how to dress formally during transition.

Need to speak to someone? Do you need help with your legal name change? Please click here. Translifeline.org

USA Safe States for Trans-People (Constantly Updated by the website Owner)

What to Update After Legal Name Change

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Testosterone - storage, travel, and injection advice

Facial Hair Information- Tips and Tricks on How to Shave (HRT)

Frequently Asked Questions about Phalloplasty - My [personal] Experiences

How can one ejaculate after phalloplasty procedure? -ask answered.

Common Phalloplasty Misconceptions- Article

Male Mannerisms- help to know male gestures, wording, and attitude- (ask)

Beginning testosterone, testosterone hormone therapy

Testosterone Experiences That Caught Me Off Guard - (Ask)

Safe Binding and Packing - Articles Purchase Sites Also

Staying Stealth During Surgeries, Explaing Scarring - advice (ask)

Top Surgery (both ftm & mtf), procedures, and approximate costs.

Can I have top surgery and be overweight?

Keyhole Top Surgery Procdure- Outline and what qualifies you as a potential candidate

Finding a Top Surgeron in North America

So You Just Had Surgery (Top)- Advice on the best way to heal after surgery/ minimize scarring.

Is more time on the operating table really better? Operating time and infection information.

Metoidioplasty FAQ

My arm and upper thigh after about a decade after phalloplasty.

My Personal Surgeon and Their Clinic

Interview with Dr. Chen about Bottom Surgery

Penile/ Phalloplasty Erectile Devices

Expectations- Personal Advice on Setting Expectations

Urethra lengthening Procedure Information- Self written article.

Importance of Uriologist

Phalloplasty Website - Includes Parents Guide

Urethra Lengthening Procedure

General Surgical Risks

Plus Sized Surgery Risks

List of Phalloplasty Surgerons in the USA

Vaginal-Perservering Phalloplasty Procedure

Graft SiteCare for Forearm -Free Flap Phalloplasty

What Happens if Erectile Device Breaks?

Image of My Phalloplasty (wearing underwear) Educational Purposes Only

Phalloplasty Procedure Outline by GRS Montreal - (Link to Webpage)

First Every Phalloplasty Procedure - Surgeon

Michael Dillon- Trans Pioneer (First phalloplasty patient)

How to Find Proper Sources of Information in a World of False Information/ Online Safety

Why certain terms can be hurtful. Please respect my/others views.

Tattooing over your forearm skin graft -ask

Testosterone and Hair Loss Information

If there are any other posts/ other topics I should add to this directory, please send me an ask. I will never post your username without your expressed consent in the ask.

#phallollasty education blog #transgender #trans ftm #transman #ftm transition #phalloplasty #ftm phalloplasty #phalloplasty blog #phallo education #blog directory #find what you need quickly #lgbtq #this took me a long time #ftm top surgery educational blog #ask me things #ftm trans education

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spacelazarwolf · 1 year

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There's just like.....a huge lack of education in trans spaces about ftm specific transition like.....was talking to a transfemme friend and she had no idea that T isn't available as pills, only gel and injection, and that most insurances don't cover gel. Like....not only do we have to worry about getting and paying for the T itself, but also the needles, syringes, and their safe disposal.

seriously!! and like, the only way for people to know is to give them access to education, so i know for most people it’s not their fault they’re not educated. but especially with people who are in leadership positions in trans orgs, it’s really really disappointing to encounter folks who just have absolutely zero clue what life is like for trans people who need access to masculinizing transition resources.

#ask avishai

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 9 months

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AITA for ranting? Tw internalized transphobia

So. There’s the anonymous chat boards app that’s very popular at my school and it recently updated and has an LGBTQ chat board. I myself as trans (ftm) and in college, the thing is I hate being trans so fucking much. I try and shove it down to the bottom, I hate telling people, I cannot stress how much I just want to be a “regular” dude. It’s not that I don’t take pride in the fact that I am part of a community that has survived a lot, I just hate how people treat me differently, refuse to see me as a dude etc. I also suffer from horrific dysphoria on just about anything (which got so bad at one point I genuinely considered trying conversion therapy). I’ve been meandering through the paperwork to get on t and am about 2 weeks away from getting my first dose…. and have recently learned that my parents (who I love very much and who are paying for my education) don’t want me to start medically transitioning until I’m in my 20s, about 3 or 4 years from now. I’m distraught at this idea because I’ve wanted to medically transition since about 15 (currently 19). Here’s where my question comes up, because of this and because the chat boards are anonymous, I’ve taken to pouring out my heart about how much I hate being trans and want to be cis etc. and how I hate the assumption that when people find out I’m trans they immediately picture some 2014 tumblr user instead of just. A guy. People on this app have gotten mad at me for posting these things because they “dislike the negativity” and such, but they have and always will be free to block me, which will automatically never show them my posts ever again. For me it’s just a place where I can express my emotions about never being enough of a man (I don’t want to use the Trevor project for multiple reasons and the trans lifeline is almost always out of service and I don’t want to use up resources, plus my therapist is cis and I feel uncomfortable talking to him about this but he’s the only one in my area I get coverage for). I’ve gotten some harassment about how I need to stop thinking like this and well [redacted], but for me it’s just a form of screaming into a void. AITA for posting anonymous text about how much I hate being trans?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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blueraspberrycoke · 7 months

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Best college research is in USA cost vs degree use which has a list of schools, this gives you the best loan for degree cost of the degree is the goal. Look at that and the subject then online at the best cross matches. Unless you want a social experience mostly then whatever vibes. Listen you know anti-trans bigotry like in your about has NO ethical point in feminism, it's just bigotry.

Thank you for the advice on college :)

I'm not a bigot. I'm not anti-trans. I don't think trans people are inherently evil. But I do not believe you can change your biological sex. I do not believe allowing trans women into women's sports, changing rooms, sexualities (lesbians being pressured to date trans women), etc. is good for women and girls. It's not just a belief I have, it's factually proven to be dangerous to put TW in women's prisons (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) and in bathrooms (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 [5 is written by a trans woman]).

I'm not saying I hate trans people or that I don't trust them or that teens/children who identify as transgender are "broken" or "wrong" like people have said I do. I think we have manipulated an entire generation of lesbians and homosexual boys (though not all trans-identified people are homosexual/bisexual) into believing they have to be the opposite sex. We've lied to dysphoric teens and told them they're going to die if they don't recieve gender-affirming care (see all the posts on the protecttranskids, transgenocide, transrights etc. hashtags).

This is also evident in that anytime you question someone who says trans people are experiencing a genocide, especially a younger person (like a teenager who gets all their information from Instagram and TikTok) they actually can't come up with a single example. Even when they bring up the so-called "anti-trans legislature" being passed in the United States, they can't name any specific bans, because that actually does not exist. What I linked for you is HB1276, which, if you read it, allows minors who underwent sexual reassignment surgery to sue their doctors up to 30 years after they turn 18 for malpractice if they regret surgery. Trans Legislation Tracker labels this an "anti-trans" bill.

They have reason to regret it, too. Lupron, the drug administered in FtM transition to dysphoric females, has painful and sometimes deadly side effects that gender-affirming medical clinics will not disclose with you in full. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Also, a disproportionate amount of FtM females are autistic, homosexual, and depressed. I care especially about these women because I'm eighteen, autistic, and a lesbian, so I really resonate with their pain and struggle. I'm not disgusted by transgender individuals and I'm not angry with them. I feel terrible for them. And I want to help.

What I think we have in the world now is an extreme lack of education. It's harming girls and women my age, when there are more affordable and better options. We've known for a long time doctors will push medicines that don't work/shouldn't be as expensive as they are in order to make money (I'm talking about things like selling insulin for $500 a vial. I'm not talking about things like vaccines.).

If you want to change your name and use other pronouns, cool, fine, whatever. I don't care what you do with your life, your money, and your time. But don't call yourself male or female when you're not. See my pinned post for why doing so harms women and men.

Transgenderism is motivated by misogyny. Go to any of the subreddits created for TW (r/Egg_irl, r/MtF, r/transgender [though that one contains trans men also]) and you'll see in every "How I knew I was trans" post that these people consider being female synonymous with being feminine, and it isn't. I'm not feminine. Does that make me a man? No. It just makes me a nonfeminine woman.

I'm not denying the existence of gender dysphoria. Many of my mutuals are desisted females who still struggle with it. But hormone therapy/SRS (sexual reassignment surgery) are very clearly not the answer. I hope this helps you understand my position better. I also hope I've not come across as condescending or patronizing in any way.

#mine #radblr #radfem #radical feminism #terfsafe #terf #actually autistic #transgender #trans #detrans #desist #detransition #feminism #wlw

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 1 year

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By: Aaron Kimberly

Published: Dec 18, 2021

Between 1995-2006 I was a part of the butch lesbian community. During those years, despite my life-long and sometimes intense gender dysphoria, I hadn’t given any serious thought to medically transitioning. It wasn’t even on my radar as a possibility until after 2000. The idea of medically transitioning seemed fringe, far-fetched, and risky.

Most of the butches I knew also had gender dysphoria (GD) or rather, Gender Identity Disorder (GID), as it was called then. Many butches I knew in Winnipeg, Halifax, Toronto, and later Vancouver, were strong, stoic people. I admired many of them. I know that their lives weren’t always easy, but they carried themselves with dignity. They had butch “brotherhood” and femmes who adored them. Many were “stone” which meant that their GID made it difficult for them to relate to their female anatomy so didn’t allow themselves to be touched by anyone, or rarely. They were often harassed and abused for being masculine women, as I was. It was often stressful using female public washrooms, because our gender ambiguity made people so uncomfortable. There was a term “butch bladder” to reference the ways we’d avoid using bathrooms in public.

In the early-mid 2000s, more and more FTMs were appearing in the community, alongside the butches. Many lesbian spaces welcomed them, some didn’t. It seemed to me at the time that butches were presented with two options: we could choose to be butches, or we could choose to be FTM “trans guys”. Why people chose one or the other...that was very individual and personal. It really came down to which option solved a problem and made life easier. The problem could be homophobic parents, fatigue from being harassed, differing degrees of dysphoria and bodily discomfort, not understanding what GID is, poor social or occupational functioning, trauma, other mental health challenges like depression or the anxiety that seemed inevitable for us. Some transitioned but still identified as butch women. They chose medical interventions to look more masculine, not to identify as men. Some trans guys said they never had GID at all. I don’t know what their motivations for transitioning were. Some said “political reasons”. There were some who were big fans of Queer Theory icons like Judith Butler and Judith Halberstam. Those women adopted male personas - intentional “female masculinity” - as an expression of Queer Theory, not to be men/male. I chose to transition soon after a gay man was beaten to death in a nearby park.

If kids with gender dysphoria today are anything like who we were 20 years ago, I feel saddened by their trajectory. Others see benefits: Access to medical interventions has been made easier. They no longer have to do a “real-life test” (live their life as the opposite sex for 2 years without medical assistance). They don’t have to go through months or years of therapy and assessment. More is now known about the effects and risks of hormones. The surgeries have improved, are easier to access and now paid for by insurance. (I paid for my own mastectomy out of pocket, and was on the SRS surgery waitlist for 10 years.)

But, what have we done? Have we eliminated all of the conditions for why a butch girl would find their innate masculinity hard to live with? Have we made the lives of butch women better and safer? Have we eliminated homophobic families, communities, employers, clinicians and policies? Are we educating young people what gender dysphoria is, in evidence-based terms, supporting them to integrate that into a healthy identity and self-image? Do we tell masculine girls how attractive they are? Do they have an abundance of healthy role models? Are they fully embraced and integrated into their workforces, educational settings, faith communities… or, are butches still getting weird looks from strangers? Are they still getting yelled at in public bathrooms? Are young, obnoxious young men still yelling slurs out their car windows as they drive by a butch woman? Do gender non-conforming women still fear for their lives in some places? Can they get Brandon Teena out of their heads? Can they travel the world freely? Can they find clothing they like that fits their bodies well?

I’m not convinced we’ve made any real progress at all. I think we’ve just made it easier for people to jump ship, younger and faster, and gave it a different spin. We now call that “self-actualization”. We’ve facilitated a better illusion. We’ve convinced more and more people that the illusion is real. We continue to push for better surgeries. Penile and uterine transplants are on the horizon. Young people are flooding into clinics. They can’t keep up with the demand. Activists have pushed Queer Theory as an explanation for our difference, displacing evidence-based clinical definitions of GID/GD. It’s no longer talked about as a condition that requires treatment but a natural human variation that requires affirmation in whatever form we demand (often life-long medicalization). I’ve travelled that road to its end, and its hurt just as much as it’s helped.

The surgeries available to FTMs right now are awful. A double mastectomy and phalloplasty or metoidioplasty are gruesome procedures to go through. The US surgeon I went to for metoidioplasty boasts low complication rates, but the anecdotal evidence I’ve witnessed (myself and everyone I know who had the procedure there and elsewhere) is close to a 100% complication rate. One guy at the surgical recovery centre I stayed at started to hemorrhage and was laying on the floor unable to reach the call bell when another FTM patient found him and advocated for him to be rushed to hospital. Fistulas and strictures are the most common problem. I chose metoidioplasty because it’s thought to be the less risky of the two options. I immediately developed two large fistulas (meaning that my urethra burst open in two places) that needed additional surgery to repair. I couldn’t bathe or go swimming for a year until those openings were repaired. I have chronic perineum pain, altered bowel function due to changes in my pelvic muscles, and no sensation in most of my chest. When we have complications, local physicians and surgeons don’t know what to do. So we have to wait, and travel to whoever can help.

Listen, I don’t doubt that sometimes medical transition is helpful for people. It’s not my place to say they can’t or shouldn’t. But let’s not sell this like it’s a Disney park ride. The marketing of everything trans is ridiculously misleading. Don’t put sparkles and rainbows over real pain as though that helps at all. It’s insulting.

If we really want to help these kids, we need to make it easier for lesbian kids. Butch kids. All gender non-conforming kids. The quirky and awkward kids. Kids who feel they don’t fit it. Let’s get better at working with parents and preserving families. Be honest about what medical transition is really about. No one really changes biological sex and these procedures are really hard to go through. Why are we putting all of our resources into escaping brutality rather than eliminating brutality? We’re cutting up our bodies because our lived reality is worse. Why do we celebrate that?

Medical transition is but one option for those with GD. We need to reclaim our understanding of GD as a condition so that we can have reality based-conversations and solve real personal and social problems. “Trans” as a concept, masks many underlying issues. A queer theory-based understanding of myself worsened my GD. Medical transition became an addiction. The illusion only works if we’re lucky enough to pass and everyone else plays along perfectly. It’s an exhausting game of whack-a-mole to dodge the reminders of my female past and female biology. How is that kind of dissociation desirable? Some people may benefit from medically transitioning, but we still need a reality-based understanding of ourselves, to keep our feet on the ground.

Our children deserve better. If this sounds transphobic to you, you’re a part of the problem. Owning our reality for what it is isn’t self-hatred. It’s self-acceptance. Having different ideas and a different vision of how to move forward isn't hatred. Hatred was the skinheads who circled around us at the small 1992 Winnipeg gay and lesbian march, long before Pride was a parade. Hatred was the men who drove from the suburbs into Vancouver with the intent to "kill a fag" and murdered Aaron Webster in Stanley Park. I’m well acquainted with phobia. This isn't phobia. This is love.

#Aaron Kimberly #Gender Dysphoria Alliance #butch lesbian #queer theory #gender ideology #medical transition #gender dysphoria #butches #female masculinity #religion is a mental illness

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cree-future-rabbi · 4 months

Text

I have completed the transfer to its own Blog

It is still, technically, a side blog, I haven't figured out if it is possible to transfer it and also make it a main blog without reposting the data post by post.

There is no reason to follow the other blog, this one will remain intact as it is.

The entire account is dedicated to this blog and only this blog. So I apologize for all those who followed the new blog.

This blog has the same URL, title, and content as before. Nothing has changed on your end.

Here is the link to the Blog Directory

Remember, if you need some advice and would feel comfortable sending me an e-mail, it is still [email protected] Feel free to write me and we can have more of a conversation about the questions you may have. Of course we also have the Ask Tab.

Thank you to all the loyal followers who have waited and waited for this to be its own entity.

Stay Golden 💙🩷

#trangender #ftm transition #ftm bottom #trans ftm #trans masc #trans boy #trans male #female to male information blog #ftm info blog #ftm bottom surgery blog #ftm top surgery blog #ftm gender affirmation blog #ftm hormone infomation blog #i made it into its own blog #ask answersfromtheshadows #ftm education blog #sourced and medically accurate information #thank you all for making this worthwhile #i am happy to help

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rongzhi · 1 year

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How would you describe the attitude towards trans people in China? ((I ask this as a trans person who would like to work there as an expat))

I don’t live in China so I couldn’t tell you with any certainty what to expect in real life anyway. But, you asked, so I want to at least take a stab at it, even if I just end up rambling about other things.

I expect you know it’s already hard enough to be trans in the west, even in the supposed liberal utopia of major cities. Now think about moving to another country and having to start out with no real support network. Now on top of that, while recognition and acceptance of queer identities, particularly gays and lesbians, in China has taken strides forward in recent years, it’s still not on the same level with the same sort of sensitive treatment as what you could say many have come to expect in the West (depending on where you live). The official government stance on LGBT issues is a tepid “uhhhhhhmmmm 🙈🙉🙊” (“Laws protect all individuals from discrimination on the basis of gender, sexual orientation, etc, but until something happens don’t look at us for nothing 🤐. Please clap.”), so most LGBT education/awareness largely comes through local grassroots efforts (slow and frequently hampered) and online/global media exposure (tho this also requires a level of voluntary engagement).

So, I’m not trying to spook you, but I wanted to make that clear first, that merely moving to another country as a trans person is no enviable task. If you do immigrate to China or live there for a period of time, you will of course at least have some level of privilege as an English speaking (white?) foreigner, so that might help, especially if you plan on hanging out with other expats anyway. Living in a major city would also help, which is really just to say, city folk anywhere are always going to be more open-minded and so I guess this finally brings us close to more of an answer to your question:

Based on my limited observations, I feel like the attitude toward the every day trans person trends negative compared to the west, perhaps largely due to lack of understanding (why would “choose” to be trans, how could you do such a thing, etc). It is not illegal or anything, and HRT/gender reassignment surgery is available in China, medically speaking, but again, I sense that the knowledge/understanding disparity when it comes to transgender identity is pretty high and therefore acceptance is inversely proportional to that. Discussion of the topic that I have seen has never really been that nuanced. Young people are more likely to accept and support LGBT+ individuals in general, but that’s “in general (like, I supsect that it might be more for LGB support versus trans support, as typically LGB issues receive greater attention than trans issues).

On the more neutral/positive end, there will be people who say “as long as they’re not hurting anyone”/ “a person has to live for themself/respect each person’s right to make their own choices in life” and that sort of thing, but I’ve never seen anything pro trans or pro gender revelations per se (this is true by and large in the West as well I think, so no big diff there), and anecdotally, I’ve seen a lot of those comments toward trans people of like “oh but you used to be so pretty/handsome, why would blah blah blah”, and more emphasis seems to be placed on passing, like I guess the more successfully you transition to the opposite gender (ftm or mtf) the more respect you deserve (as if transition should be the goal) (like if you botch it, visually speaking, you might as well have not even bothered) (but I guess this is also true in mainstream thought in the west), and even if you pass you might still get hit with the “can you believe they’re actually a _?”/ "wow I have to be more careful" treatment.

I guess it’s worth noting Jin Xing, a popular trans celebrity/TV presenter in China, is also highly respected, even amongst older generations (which is cool). To many, she “already counts as a real woman” (to quote a comment I saw once) because she’s seen as dedicated to being herself (a woman), and is a wonderful mother to 3 adopted children. People respect her because she worked hard and she has an attractive personality, but at the same time, she’s also high profile enough that the disrespect can get drowned out by the admirers, so she's not a typical case of the trans experience in China obviously.

TLDR

Soooo. I don't live in China so my perspective is limited (I can't emphasise that enough) and only my own opinion based on discourse/exchanges, commentary, depictions, etc, I've witnessed on the Chinese web (douyin, bilibili, zhihu, and douban forums for the most part).

I don’t know how rude anyone would be to your face. Being a foreigner/expat (I said “(white?)” earlier because I feel like “expat” usually refers to white people) might afford you some extra privilege or at least a wider berth from dealing with assholes. As of right now, my impression of the general attitude toward trans people is: improving but still behind and still with the focus on successful transition. Lots of awareness is still needed but efforts to increase it are slow and hampered.

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Aaaaah this turned out way longer than I'd hoped 😬 and I always feel like I'm typing up paragraph upon paragraph of unintelligible nonsense but I hope this give you some food for thought, since you asked for my take. I expect you're already quite sober to the realities of We Live In a Society™ as a trans person, so apologies if I sound too pompous or lecture-y at any point.

#text #answered ask #long post

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banzaitaka · 2 years

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Hello!! May I request fluff male reader headcanons that include Saeyoung Choi, Jumin Han, and Zen?

The scenario in which the headcanons would take place would be them reacting to the reader coming out as trans(ftm). Like you stated In your rules, only do It if youre comfortable with it :)

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You're talking to a ftm guy here I'd be stupid if I declined this :)

And since this is a brainrot, this won't be structured and Imma talk like I ususally would Might actually make it more fun for you to read too

Mystic Messenger Masterlist

I hope this is what you wanted & you enjoy reading! Tips are very appreciated!

TW: you gettin misgendered to list and example, I'll make them red and small so you can avoid them if you need. And it's only once in Zen's part

x male! reader

Headcanon: Hyun Ryu, Jumin Han, Saeyoung Choi reacting to their s/o coming out as ftm

Zen doesn't know what that is, honestly, so you're going to have to explain it to him

If you started dating when you were still presenting as female- well

He is really confused about it, wonders what will happen with your relationship, but he is quick to decide he doesn't want to lose you just because you're no longer presenting female

I can totes imagine him realizing he's bi once he thinks about you being a guy, and realizing that really relieved the both of you, cuz a reason why you didn't tell him right away was because you were afraid he would break up with you, right? And he's just happy he still loves you the same as ever

Like- he loves you so much, that's why he doesn't want to stop loving you, you get me?

But really, that one was actually obvious; he made it very clear in the very beginning that he loves you unconditionally, he loves you for you! So it really was just the attraction to your body that could've changed, but nope

It all takes a few minutes to click, and a few hours of talking for him to confidentally being able to say he is in love with another guy. That being because of his initial confusion and him feeling unsure

He loves seeing you relax more, slowly seeing you more happy and confident of yourself as time moves on

Caution though: he will slip up every now and then with nicknames. He is so used calling you female terms, please forgive him

"Princess, I'm ho- no. Fuck! Prince, I'm home! I'm so sorry, handsome!"

He tries to make up for it and shoo away any approaching dysphoria with male gendered compliments

If you already transitioned before you got to know each other, you, again, will have to explain what being trans means, but it will be much less confusing because of the lack of a sexuality crisis

And, well, Zen just stood there (you can actually imagine him looking at you like in the picture above, just with wider eyes)

One educational conversation later and he is all good, and he's actually amazed about that topic Like- Whoa! People sense that their gender assigned at birth is wrong? And there are multiple adjustment operations? Cool!

"I would've never guessed!", maybe not the best thing to tell a trans person, but he makes up for it by putting the topic aside once you're finished and said everything you wanted to say You know, to get back to your normal routine. The least thing Zen wants is you feeling like anything will change now just cause he knows now

Overall rating: 6/10, he's clumsy and needs a bit of time, but it's clear he does his absolute best

Jumin has basic knowledge when it comes to trans people due to Pride events in the company, but never looked into it more than he had to

And it certainly comes as a surprise when you tell him

Let's talk post transition first cause we wanna save our jokes for later, k?

So...you already transitioned and finally come forth to tell Jumin you're trans

...

There is not much of a reaction cause he literally doesn't care He's all like: "Alright, darling. Love you." and honestly, I love that But if, and only if, you look nervous or scared about it he will further talk about the subject

And an explaination of how he fell in love with a man (aka you) follows, a man who he swore to love forever. And Jumin was no person to break a promise, okay? He still loves you the same as ever

He really could not care less about how your body looks, you will always, always, always be ravishing in his eyes

And now pre transition hehehehe

Jumin looks at you in silence for a few seconds, raising a hand to his chin in thought

"Hmm..."

You could've never known what he was thinking about, no matter how agressively you were to look back at him

"I suppose I am gay after all.", and he cracks a smile

He doesn't even give you time to react as he mumbles on, telling you to leave a list of things you need on the table until tomorrow morning and it shall be aquired for you

"I will notify the workers here as well. If one of them slips up, please do tell me. I'll cut their payment."

And for the rest of the conversation he let's you decide what you want to be clear about

Overall rating: 11/10, I may be biased on this one, but come on...This man is so chill about it and will make sure you're in a safe environment

Now when I tell you Saeyoung knew, I mean he KNEW

He literally hacked into your social media and dug around in your phone, but you didn't say anything when you were called a girl, so he didn't say anything. It was either because you weren't sure about it yet or you didn't want to come out if they somehow found out about you ig

OR maybe you already transitioned during that time, then forget the part about you not saying anything to being misgendered, really just thought of the beginning of the game

Anyways, the man knew and he was like WhoA

Ehehe uvu cute boyfie, yes please Cuz this man is a raging bisexual, prefers men

His heart exploded the moment you told him, like- He is so proud of you you figured this out for yourself and trusted this info with him, in a world filled with homophobia and transphobia. Even tho he always supported the LGBTQ+ community and made sure you knew he did(and made hints he is part of it as well, but it seemed more like bromance jokes)

If you haven't started your transition, he'll lay down the questions: Who is allowed to now? Which nicknames are off limits? Where am I allowed to touch you? Things like that

Other than that, not much additional explainations are needed, he already knows at least the basic info and can easily find the parts he's lacking

Cuz now's not the time for talking. Let's get your measurements to buy you a binder! He offers you his socks to use for a packer, jokingly, but it felt too real dsfigodsifg

"Once we're getting married in space we can put a trans flag on the moon.", he muffles into your neck before leaving a trail of kisses on it

Overall rating: 10/10, pls, he is so sweet and loves sharing lgbtq+ memes with you and knows his stuff AND willing to run the extra mile for your comfort

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