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answersfromzestual · 3 months

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Facial Hair Information and Shaving Tips and Tricks

Today, I wanted to talk about shaving and give you some tips and tricks I have learned over the years and also about some facial hair facts.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️ if you are prone to harm yourself, I advise you to use the bladeless facial hair razors for your safety.⚠️

A good way to help yourself look more masculine at the beginning of transition is shaving your face. Getting rid of the peach fuzz on your face is a good way to make you look more age appropriate.

If you cut your face while shaving, stick pieces of toilet paper on the cuts to stop the bleeding (assuming the injury is smaller). Just rip off a small piece and press it to your cut until it sticks. Within 5 or so minutes, you should have stopped bleeding. Seek medical attention if it does not stop bleeding or the injury is bad.

More blades aren't always better. I used multiple bladed razors many years of my life, and I now have an issue with ingrown hairs.

Using a simple single blade, a safety razor is a good option for less iritation and a close shave. My family doctor actually told me to switch to a single blade. It has reduced the irritation on my face, and it is more comfortable. There is a bit of a learning curve, so I HIGHLY suggest a safety single blade razor or non bladed razor to begin.

Shaving helps hair grow! By exfoliating your facial skin as you shave, it helps stimulate hair follicles and, therefore, hair growth. Also is a way good way to help facial hair grow in nice and healthy.

Shaving your facial hair makes the actual individual hairs thicker and darker, not the amount of hair itself, hair growth takes time.

Some products use the phrase "fuller and thicker or your money back", this is their way of being sneaky. As you shave and take proper care of your face you will just naturally get some growth without that product and that phrase is so vague that they can refuse your refund because the individual hairs on your face are thicker and darker. Don't fall for the traps! Especially when you can't fight your genetics.

Beard oils or some kind of facial hair moisturizer can help your beard grow. Now, these may not themselves trigger hair growth, but having clean, healthy skin can help you get some growth in time (have bedtime routine). The downside these oils can contribute to acne breakouts.

Aftershave can help reduce irritation on your face and cleanses your skin. It does burn when you first apply it to your shaved face, but I find that using a cooling aftershave, the burning went away so quickly and didn't leave my face irritated and red. Without aftershave, my face is irritated longer, and it can leave me looking all red.

Genetics. Genetics play a huge role in body and facial hair, even head hair. You will have similar patterns of hair growth and loss as the men on both sides of your family.

Genetics pt. 2: I have my dad's exact body hair growth pattern (little chest hair, little stomach hair, thin arm hair, no back hair, no shoulder hair, even our calve leg hair thickness is similar. But since I do have a mother, there are some differences as well. I believe I still have hair thanks to her. My father, at my current age, was as completely bald. I have hair. It's just getting thinner on top. I feel like baldness is where I am headed, but hey, that is still a difference. I'm also just assuming because of my father's side. Mother's side has very thin hair, but no balding. So my hair destiny is not written in stone yet. It's honestly a toss-up at this point.

Using a spike roller meant for facial hair two to three times a week, along with a skin routine and shaving, I feel helped really excellerate my beard growth. The roller helps exfoliate your skin deeper and makes tiny holes, helping stimulate hair follicles that tell hair to grow and help little trapped ones out. The science isn't sure about this method. My wife swears it worked for me. 💁🏽‍♂️ ***Keep it clean as per the instructions for the device***

The first parts that mostly grew in for me were: my side burns, then my mustache, then my neck beard really filled in and was probably the first to actually fill in.

When I was in mid 20's I tried growing a mustache. Even if the hairs are growing, it can take time to "fill in". I had an old woman tell me I had something on my face then says "oh wait you're trying to grow a moustache". Laugh that off, it comes with having facial hair.

Patience. Having patience with your facial hair. Don't be discouraged because it's spotty or not full. It will get there if your genetics will allow it.

Sometimes, it's good to rotate being clean shaven and having facial hair of some sort. I found when I was growing my beard out, that shaving clean, growing my face out for a few days, repeating, helped my hair grow in faster.

Facial hair can help make breakouts worse! If you do have facial hair and you either have acne related to your HRT or genetics or both, keep your face clean. Wash it well. Your facial hairs also have oils on them (like your head hairs) these can contribute to your breakouts. Another contributing factor to breakouts is the longer your facial hair, the harder it can be to actually fully cleanse your skin.

If you are prone to breakouts, personally, I would stay either clean shaven or have very little/short facial hair style. If it is due to your HRT (hormone replacement therapy)/puberty, just let your skin settle down before growing that bush-man beard.

Using razors that do not have blades is a great option for clumsy people, people with dexterity issues, if you perhaps have blood clotting issues, or if you just don't want to get cut in general. Do your research. Some razors work better than others, some create facial irritation more than traditional razors, and, lastly, some can literally bruse or burn your skin. Read reviews before you purchase, good and bad reviews. You want to know as much information to make the best decision for you.

Using a bladless razor, you most likely won't get the same close clean shave as a bladed razor, but it's a good way to practice for a bladed razor if one day you'd like a closer shave.

Practice makes perfect. It seems easy to shave, but it's kinda tricky when you start out. Be careful around your jawline, chin, and upper lip. Those are the places that tend to get cut the most while learning to shave.

Do not apply a lot of pressure to the facial hair razor, just let it smoothly glide along your face

Using shaving cream is a good idea with or without a blade, especially at first. With shaving cream, you can use it to keep track of what you've shaved and what you missed.

Using shaving cream with bladed facial hair razors is always a good idea, it helps reduce skin irritation and helps the blade glide better along your skin.

If you would like a demonstration of how to shave, I would be open to making a video for you. I have three different types of razors I can show you.

Most multiple blades razors have a coloured strip that changes when you need to throw it away or change the blades. If you have a safety single blade razor, change your blades about once a week. This was a rule I was told. This is for a few reasons: 1. The blades can rust, 2. The blade can be dull which can lead to more cuts 3. Your bathroom is a bacteria hot spot. You want to make sure you don't cut yourself and introduce a virus or bacteria into your body.

Dull razors will cut you more than fresh razors will.

Take care when shaving and changing blades. Always keep your fingers off the blade itself and hold on the sides. Dispose of safely and properly.

Below are some images to reference what I mean.

Upper Images are of a bladess razor. You can see it is more like hair clippers than a razor blade.

Bottom left is of a 4 bladed razor, a typical razor that people/men have been using for decades.

Bottom right is of a typical single bladed safety razor. These razors give a great shave but require you to switch out the blade itself, which can be tricky. I can also show you all how I do that safely.

Do you want an instructional video to cover how to shave and how to change the single blade safely, or did I miss anything? Please let me know in my ask box or in comments.

Thank you, I hope you enjoyed this topic.

Stay Golden Everyone ✌️ 💙 💜

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cree-future-rabbi · 5 months

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I have completed the transfer to its own Blog

It is still, technically, a side blog, I haven't figured out if it is possible to transfer it and also make it a main blog without reposting the data post by post.

There is no reason to follow the other blog, this one will remain intact as it is.

The entire account is dedicated to this blog and only this blog. So I apologize for all those who followed the new blog.

This blog has the same URL, title, and content as before. Nothing has changed on your end.

Here is the link to the Blog Directory

Remember, if you need some advice and would feel comfortable sending me an e-mail, it is still [email protected] Feel free to write me and we can have more of a conversation about the questions you may have. Of course we also have the Ask Tab.

Thank you to all the loyal followers who have waited and waited for this to be its own entity.

Stay Golden 💙🩷

#trangender #ftm transition #ftm bottom #trans ftm #trans masc #trans boy #trans male #female to male information blog #ftm info blog #ftm bottom surgery blog #ftm top surgery blog #ftm gender affirmation blog #ftm hormone infomation blog #i made it into its own blog #ask answersfromtheshadows #ftm education blog #sourced and medically accurate information #thank you all for making this worthwhile #i am happy to help

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casperolivervo · 2 years

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1. Teet Yeet Update

My FTM top surgery updates (as a genderqueer transmasc)

Next week I'm scheduled to get lab work done to make sure I'm medically sound for surgery. This is the part in the process that's gotten me stuck before, but all of my other blood labs have come back looking good recently! Crossing fingers the lab results don't hold me back again.

This is my third try towards top surgery, so I hope 3rd time's the charm.

Between now and next Monday, I'll be calling my insurance to make sure that the surgeon my doctor wrote my referral for is covered. My insurance helps cover gender affirming care, including surgeries. If my insurance DOES cover this surgeon, I'll be calling to schedule a consultation. If they're not covered, I'll be reaching back out to my doctor for other surgeon options. <3

I'm also going to be trying out a new mood stabilizer to help with my mental health. In a month or so, we'll see if that helps out or if we need to adjust!

- Casper Oliver (he/fae pronouns)

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genderqueerdykes · 4 months

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(this is from an ask that wished to remain anonymous- we have anons turned off for the moment. we will turn them back on once we're in less of a stressful situation.)

that's a perfectly fine question to ask! bottom growth is an effect of testosterone HRT that causes the clitoris to grow in size. some people have very little growth, others can become very large. it doesn't cause someone to grow a fully fledged penis, but, whenever a clitoris has grown sufficiently, it does mimic the appearance of a penis, even with the clitoral hood becoming much like foreskin. the head of tdicks (which is what many people choose to call clitorises affected by bottom growth) even grows to look strikingly similar to penises! there are surgeries you can get like metoidioplasties and simple releases that can help a person with a tdick become more visibly erect when aroused, as well, which is very cool. you can also have surgery done to have your urethra re-routed through your tdick, which is too risky for me as someone who already deals with incontinence issues, but i think it's an amazing option!

some people never really see a lot of growth on testosterone, however, and that's important to be noted. not everyone gets a ton of growth, this can be dependent on how well a person tolerates the medication, their dose, whether or not the person is intersex or intolerant to testosterone, and their biology in general.

are you interested in phalloplasty? if so I have some links on my resources page on my blog that may help you:

and here are some resources containing information about getting vaginal-preserving phalloplasties:

if you have any more questions feel free to ask! I appreciate you stopping by!

#asks #answers #testosterone hrt #testosterone #hrt #hormones #bottom growth #bottom surgery

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x-honeycomb-x · 1 year

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xHoneyCombx Links (this used to be a detrans kink blog)

Long/interactive posts

How to overcome feminization post-nut clarity (for sissies and ftmtfs)

A wholesome guide to detransitioning (as a kink or actually experiment with your gender) from a ftmtf mother to my ftmtf daughters <3

Why you should detransition into a girl or femboy (wholesome)

How to feel better when you're "detransitioning" (tips)

Pronouns game - Who should you come out to? (dice game)

"Turn me into a girl..." Part 1 (feminization tasks)

"Feminize me... make me a girl" Part 2 (feminication tasks)

"Feminize me... make me a woman" Mature women version (feminization game)

Non-sexual feminizing things to do (hobbies) (asexual/demisexual/sapiosexual friendly)

Feminization kink for beginners - misgendering box (task)

Breeding fantasies for ftmtf and mtftm (game 1) (game 2) (game 3)

Feminization tasks without shame (game 1) (game 2) (game 3) (game 4)

Feminization tasks without shame - girlfriend/wife/mother roleplay (part 1) (part 2) (part 3 aftercare)

Cuckquean fantasies (cuckquean sub rules)

Piss play fantasies (loving piss drinking pov)

Breeding fantasies (what I need to feel safe about breeding kink)

Cishet friend hookup fantasy (non-reluctant fiction)

Sub punishments but with a twist (sub tasks)

Kinks you can enjoy as a ftm girl (willing ftm girl list)

List of clothes I want as a wine aunt (clothing haul)

List of maternity dresses I want (breeding kink clothing haul)

How to lactate (guide)

Aftercare for Doms (aftercare post)

Aftercare for ftm girls (aftercare post)

Gooning beforecare and aftercare (aftercare post)

Sub red flags & Dom care (kink safety)

Stop playing when you feel bad (kink care)

Important: Stopping hormones safety (medical concerns)

Positivity

Ask: Experimenting with boyfriend (good vibes)

Ask: Not into cishet penetration (setting boundaries and rejecting)

Short posts

You are ftm girl enough <3 (ftm girl diverspity appreciation)

Making a ftm girl email account (ftm girl ideas)

Things are only sexual when you want them to be <3 (consent appreciation)

Communication: ftm girl play without reluctance (encouragement)

I don't need to be skinny (body positivity)

You're an independent ftm girl (acceptance and encouragement) (post 1) (post 2) (post 3) (post 4) (post 5) (post 6)

Desexualizing feminization (post 1) (post 2) (post 3)

Ftm girl play without cis men or breeding (post 1) (post 2)

Discovery: I need to affirm I’m a guy/enby for detrans kink to work (tips)

OP posts

Diversity: Non-binary (post 1) (post 2) (post 3), asexuality, autism (post 1) (post 2) (post 3) (post 4) (post 5), mental illness

Ftm daughters application

Link to my detransition blog?

Detransition kink and gender-fluidity (a personal experience)

My sex toy collection <3

OP's butt (on second thought I'm not gonna link it)

Being my own daddy and mommy (self care post)

Story time: Sexting, Tumblr blog and my loneliness (long rant)

I feel like a detrans junkie (short rant)

Am I hardcore?

Internet points

Should I tell you my birth name?

How long should I go off T?

How long should I detransition?

Don't let me masturbate!

Which internet aesthetic should I try?

Regarding my 1 year detransition (ooc)

On being a (ex)detransitioner

My conclusions on my gender journey and running this blog

#detrans kink #detransition kink #nb detrans kink

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thebigendercosmonaut · 1 year

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Transmasculine Resources (Incomplete)

Transmasculine, sometimes abbreviated to transmasc, is an umbrella term that describes a transgender person... whose gender is masculine and/or who express themselves in a masculine way. Transmasculine people feel a connection with masculinity, but do not always identify as male.

► Transmasc 101:

What is Transmasculine? (from health.com)

Transmasculine, Everything You Need to Know (from cosmopolitan.com)

Butch (Nonbinary Wiki)

► Transitioning and Healthcare:

How to bind safely (Trans Lifeline)

Spectrum Binders

Free chest binders

FTM Voice Training 1

FTM Voice Training 2

What to expect when taking testosterone

Masculinizing hormones (from TransHub)

Gynecologic care

How to get on testosterone (video)

Gender-affirming healthcare information (Planned Parenthood)

► Transmasculinity in Other Cultures:

Decolonising Transmasculinity - The Visibility of Brotherboys

A Transmasculine Account of Reimagining Masculinity Without ‘Maleness’ And Aggression (Feminism in India)

Gender-Variant Identities Worldwide (Nonbinary Wiki)

► Further Reading:

Is Healthy Masculinity a Lost Cause?: A Non-binary Person’s Thoughts on New Masculinity

Navigating Toxic Masculinity as a Demiguy

What’s in a Word?: Crafting Transmasculine (Note: This blog post loosely defines transmasculinity as an AFAB experience.)

Testosterone Does Not "Work Better" than Estrogen

Please note that many definitions of 'transmasculine' tend to include being assigned female at birth (AFAB) but this is not a requirement in many spaces. Also keep in mind that the person posting this is technically transmasculine and has taken steps to physically transition in a masculine way, though ey does not consider emself to be transmasc. ⚡

#transmasculine resources #transmasc resources #transgender resources #transitioning resources #otherkind.original

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redditreceipts · 5 months

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as a preface, i’m a trans guy (ftm) so i don’t know much about the things that go on in the mtf side of things.

i just wanted to say i really appreciate that you are a radfem that acknowledges that dysphoria is real. it’s honestly been devastating that so many non-dysphoric “trans people” have decided that science doesn’t matter and that you can decide that you’re trans.

dysphoria is so painful, yet so many people think dressing up and being a permanent victim is fun and that “euphoria” is all that matters.

the “gender isn’t real” idea has turned so many against us. there’s no home/community for trans people like me. it’s taken over by people who decide you’re a cis bootlicker or some other insult of the week that makes them feel powerful over minorities with a medical condition.

i guess this is just my way of saying, even though we don’t agree on everything, i really appreciate your critical thinking and that you recognize that there really are regular people who just have a brain condition :’)

thank you!!! and yeah, you're super welcome here, even if you only agree with one percent of what I say.

I also really like listening to trans medicalist voices (for example, I really like Buck Angel - I agree with about 99 percent with what he's saying), more than anything because they seem to care about actually bringing forth arguments and logical explanations and not just affirming each other endlessly. Most transmeds also argue less about validation and identity, but try to find practical solutions to practical problems and try bringing society forwards, instead of just making everything about how they're the victim.

and the exact thing you are saying is why I hate Philosophy Tube so much. he (and yes, I'm going to use male pronouns, because he doesn't even try to pretend to be trans) made this entire fucking rant about how dysphoria is not real and about how cis people get dysphoria too etc.

and for the "you're just a bootlicker to [outgroup]"-argument - that's literally so stupid. it's just cult rhetoric. it's the exact same that the Catholic church responds to a Catholic saying that maybe we should allow abortions in certain cases.

but well, just know that you're welcome! even though this blog is not really a safe space, but is rather designed for catharsis, and if you're having a bad day, i recommend you rather look into something else haha

anyways, I wish you all the best! 💕

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chaisshitposts · 7 months

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hi chai i hope you don’t mind this ask as i feel this might come as unwanted advice that can seem somewhat pessimistic to some so i apologise in advance but i mean no harm.

I am only trying to help and wish i’d known this right when i started to “manifest” or enter the void, and also as someone who’s been on loablr since 2021 and have read possibly every single success story that exists on here, here are some things to keep in mind:

there are many people that did the 10k affirmation challenge and didn’t end up getting their desires, why? cause they most certainly affirmed 10K times for their desires (while it’s proven scientifically to work)

but still happened to fail, cause they most probably thought against their desires; which was the strongest argument the states girlies used to have.

REMEMBER: you cannot be two things at once, you either have it or you don’t so which side are you on through the day and as you fall asleep?

(i mention the falling asleep bit cause i personally felt anxious at times going to sleep knowing i am still not where i want to be so if you’re doing the same thing, please stop. That’s the state you’re falling asleep to😭 it’s doing you no good😭)

(also i am not siding with any method, all methods work)

lesson learnt from this: nothing matters if you’re not strict with your mental diet, your 4D, your imagination.

(I’m not saying you have to suppress your feelings cause that can’t be good)

@moonbakeries used to vent for as long as she liked but made sure to persist in her 4D and she changed her life. please go through her blog to understand this better.

when i see people being consistent for weeks on here doing everything right and coming you to update (i love to see the discipline) but can’t help and wonder if they are persistent with their new story throughout

because i have been in their shoes before and had little to no success. (and as i follow you i can’t help but be reminded of my own failure cause i’ve been there before and the burnout isn’t pretty.)

I appreciate your support to all of your followers. I mean no offence to anyone but i really think i had to come out of my lurking bubble and let my mistake be known loud and clear so that others don’t make the same mistake as I did.

I feel like if we all delete tumblr, strictly only persist in our 4D for a week straight, we all would be living our dream lives.

Proof: rae’s death revision success story @itsravenbitch

@moonbakeries dream life success story

time taken? seven days.

DISCLAIMER:

i know we are all different and we shouldn’t think of time as a relative thing cause it’s literally not real. so obviously don’t think of seven days as a deadline (silly of me to mention it now after saying all that lol but you get the point)

if you fall in love with your imagination, you won’t care about time and the 3D (i know it’s hard with circumstances which is why i still haven’t personally succeeded) but please try. It will change your life.

Reminds me of another success story (anonymous) they changed their gender just by identifying as their ideal gender. I cannot remember if it was ftm or mtf i’m sorry but whenever someone mentioned/referred to them as their older gender, they literally didn’t care cause they knew the were their ideal gender and one day, they woke up to being their desired gender. That’s all it took.

the most common takeaway from all success stories is: BELIEVE, TRUST, HAVE FAITH.

(yes, doubts are common)

@moonbakeries mentioned it too, people that entered the void had doubts too but managed to persist, @gorgeouslypink also doubted the void till the moment she entered herself but still entered the void.

BUT CONTINUE TO PERSIST

The 3D (notice how i say “the” and not “your” cause it’s not yours) is none of your business.

Your 4D (imagination) is the real deal. Just like day is followed by the night, your imagination has to show up too, no matter what. let this sink in please.

I know discipline matters, please continue to do what you’re doing if it helps you stay consistent with your new story but actively make sure to persist in your new story, your FAV story. it’s so so crucial. That’s all!

I really want to be off anon but not sure how this message would be taken so i choose to stay anonymous lol

sending love to all!

thank you for your words of wisdom and motivation, I appreciate the strength it took to write this. I know that this will certainly be a wake up call to many.

#— chai's asks. !! ~#— anonnie. !! ~

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pteroducktyll · 10 months

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FtM Hysto Recovery + Tips (Plus general tips for dealing with low/no spoons or recovering from any surgery)

I haven't been on Tumblr for years, but recently re-joined to check out art, as I start to work on getting my idea for a graphic novel off the ground (as well as getting serious about improving my art again). However, I'm hoping these first few posts get found by an entirely different audience. This is being written in 2023.

I'm going in for a laparoscopic hysterectomy on Thursday (today is Monday) and want to share my experience, as much as spoons will allow, so that other people can hopefully benefit in the future. I, personally, have struggled to find things online that fit my situation as a trans man with a history of pre-cancerous pap smears, abnormal bleeding, PID and ovarian cysts (but not PCOS). Although hysterectomies for "GRS" or gender affirming surgery purposes are easy to get where I live, mine in particular is primarily being done to avoid cancer and to stop the abnormal bleeding and random debilitating pain that comes out of nowhere every few years and upends my life for weeks/months. So if you're someone facing the prospect of a laparoscopic hysterectomy, regardless of your gender identity, and have a history of medical issues (but not PCOS or endometriosis) in your reproductive region, this blog may help you! Or, alternatively, if you're a trans man looking to get a laparoscopic hysterectomy, whether or not you've had issues in that region, this might help you, too!

It should be noted that this is written from the perspective of someone in their 30s with a complicated medical history, including Type 2 Diabetes and a very rare kidney disease (which has an average life expectancy of 29 years for men, but we aren't sure how it affects trans men), so the pre-surgery process I've been through is not the typical one. I also have chronic pain and know from my past experiences with very severe pain that a) I have a low tolerance for any pain beyond what I deal with day-to-day and b) I have a high tolerance for opiate pain medication, which means it takes a higher dose for me to address the level of pain that a lower dose would address in someone else. These both affect the length of time that I'll likely need to be on painkillers, and how functional I'll be while I'm on them. This, in turn, affects how quickly I'll be able to do things like return to work and driving.

I should also note that although it's common in some places for this surgery to be completed as day surgery, my jurisdiction almost always keeps people in overnight; this is because it takes almost 24 hours for the anesthetic to work its way out of your system, and until it does they won't have a true indication of your pain levels and, therefore, won't be able to make sure it's adequately controlled before sending you home. It's much easier (in my experience, and according to the doctors!) to stop you from having pain in the first place than to get it under control once you do.

Also, I live with my partner and a roommate, and my retired parents are about 90 minutes away and have a guest room. My support network isn't huge, but it's high quality. My partner managed to get 3 days off work for my surgery and the 2 days following, and after that is on a light workload for about a week in case she needs to take care of me. She also has a lot of flexibility with her job, and her boss really likes me, so if there are complications or she needs to spend more time at home to look after me, I don't think it's completely out of the question. All of this is to say that I'm going into this surgery from a very privileged place, in terms of not having to do much to look after myself in the aftermath. My surgeon did advise me, however, to take 1 week (for sure) off work if I could, and that I may need a second week. My work consists of two research jobs that draw heavily on my brain power, but don't require me to move around at all, especially as I work from home, so the issue is the painkillers, rather than actual healing time. Other jobs will require different amounts of time off work.

Because I'm neurodivergent and like to have as many details as possible about ... literally everything, I'm going to make this as detailed as I can. Essentially, I'm hoping to share everything I know and experience without leaving anything out. If it's too much detail for you, I'm going to be doing my best to include useful headers.

Notification of Surgery & Lead-up

I received notice about my surgery just over a month before my surgery date; it was around June 26th that I was emailed and told my surgery would be on August 3rd. I had previously met my surgeon in January, and was told it would be a 6-8 month wait until surgery. Between that appointment and being given my surgery date, I'd had bloodwork done, as well as an internal ultrasound. I've had several internal ultrasounds before and while they are far from pleasant, they are not as dysphoria-inducing for me as they are for other trans men, I'm sure. I am more physically uncomfortable during them than mentally/spiritually uncomfortable.

In the notification email, my surgeon sent additional attachments; about 200 pages of information from a) their office specifically and b) the health authority [one document about hysterectomies, one document about recovering from surgery in general]. These documents answered most of my questions, and also had instructions about fasting, pre-surgery instructions (there's a special sponge I have to buy and use the night before surgery and the morning of surgery) and recovery information. The documents were very generic, and because they came from different sources, the information was sometimes contradictory. I, personally, took the information on board in this order of trustworthiness:

Things my surgeon had said in-person during my consultation appointment in January

Things included in the information from my surgeon's office directly

Things included in the documents from the health authority

If there were contradictions that seemed extremely important (e.g. one document said to wash everything my face with the special sponges, while another said, in all caps, to absolutely NOT wash my head or face with the sponges), I followed-up with the surgeon's office or the most appropriate person (e.g. pharmacist).

Pre-surgery Appointments

Because of my medical history (diabetes and Alport's Syndrome), I had an extra step in here. My surgeon required me to have a consultation with my internal medicine doctor's clinic (but not with my specialist) to get the all-clear and make sure my risk level wasn't too high. This doctor made some assumptions about the medications I'm taking, which led him to think I had both diabetes and a heart condition, which would have put me in a much higher risk category. Because of that, he ordered extra bloodwork, and an ECG, and booked a follow-up with me for a few days later. That initial appointment with him ended on the assumption that the surgery likely would be postponed. However, the bloodwork and ECG all came back fine, and at the follow-up he gave me the all-clear and said my risk wasn't very high at all.

I had a few other pre-surgery appointments.

One was with the surgeon. In my case, the doctor actually doing my surgery is a resident colleague of the surgeon I initially consulted with. Now that I had a specific date for the surgery, and my life situation had changed a bit since the consultation (e.g. work), I asked to meet with the surgeon to ask questions that had come up since the initial consultation, and so that I could meet the person who would be cutting into me and make sure I was comfortable with her. She answered all my questions really well, and it turned out I was more comfortable with her than the original surgeon. This was a quick 5-10 minute talk, but I highly recommend asking for it, even if your surgeon hasn't changed. You'll have another chance to talk to your surgery just before being wheeled into the OR, but you'll be nervous and may be medicated by then, and it's just nice to have this conversation ahead of time and in an environment where you can look at a list of questions you've written down, and actually pay attention to the answers.

The hospital required another two appointments before surgery:

The pharmacist

About a week before my surgery, the pharmacist called for 5-10 minutes to discuss my current medications, supplements, vitamins and holistic medicines (if I were taking any) and to find out what time of day I take them at. Easy peasy.

2. The anesthetist

Exactly a week before my surgery, the anesthetist called to discuss the operation itself and the anesthetic. I'm not sure if the doctor I talked to will be the anesthetist who is actually in the room with me, or if it was just her job that particular day to call and get the information that will get passed onto the one who will be in the room. She was very nice, and explained the method of anesthesia, as well as how I'll likely feel when I wake up, etc. She also saw on my chart that I have a history of chronic pain, and zeroed in on my back and shoulder. She asked if there are any positions that make me more comfortable, and then explained the position I'd be in for my surgery -- tipped back toward my head -- and that this sometimes gives people back and shoulder pain even if they don't have any to begin with. She said my arms would be alongside my body, fairly tight to it, and I said that would be fine. I practiced laying them beside my body later that day and promptly discovered that's actually pretty painful for one arm, but I'll mention that when I get there and hope for the best! If I was having the conversation again, I'd answer by saying I wasn't sure how that would feel but that I'd practice it before the surgery day to see, and then ask who I could talk to if it turned out there's a better position or if that one wouldn't work. Ultimately though, the surgery should be 1.5 hours to 4 hours at most, so I'm not overly concerned. What you should take away from this if you're having this surgery and don't already have back/shoulder pain is that you might wake up with some, but that it should go away in a day or maybe a little less. This type of surgery also requires the surgeon to inflate your belly with gas in order to make room for the scopes and so that they can see what they're doing. That gas can stick around for a day, sometimes two, according to the anesthetist and can be a little bit painful or uncomfortable. I can't remember anything else that came out of this conversation.

In terms of pre-surgery appointments, that was it.

Tips and Tricks for Being Prepared

The next little bit is information I acquired through talking to my therapist (who's had several laparoscopic surgeries!) and many hours of research online, as well as living as a person who often has few spoons.

Get your first 1-2 weeks of meals planned and ready in advance. For me, this means I've picked up a large number of cans of Alphaghetti-type foods, and I'll be buying as many frozen meals as I can but have VERY little freezer room because my partner and I share with our tenant. Other options include things like HelloFresh, identifying nights when it will be easier for your partner if you order food in (if you can afford to), making big batches of food leading up to surgery while you're well and then freezing them, creating a list of meals you'd appreciate friends bringing over [remind them to bring them in disposable containers, so you don't have to feel guilty when it takes you weeks to get the containers back to them!], etc

Buy some Depends/adult diapers. I bought store brand (Life brand, specifically, which is Canadian) ones. The only ones I could get were maximum absorbency unless I wanted to pay twice the price for name brand ones, but I suspect I could do with a minimum absorbency one. I bought the underwear-style ones. In the store brand, they don't look very underwear-like at all, but if you have more money to spend, some of the name brand ones look convincingly like underwear! I also bought 'Unisex' ones, but would have bought womens if the unisex ones weren't an option; I suspect the mens' might have a built-in bulge area that would be awkward for me. The point of the adult diapers is that their 'waistband' is not a traditional waistband -- it's about 8" tall, very thin, and crinkle-cut so that it doesn't put pressure on your skin. This will stop you from having clothing pushing on your incision sites. BONUS is that they ARE absorbent, so you won't have to also wear pads to deal with discharge (which can, apparently, last for 6 weeks). Try the Depends on for a day a few days before surgery. Yes, it will be awkward and you'll feel silly. I am literally sitting in bed, with nothing wrong with me, wearing nothing but an adult diaper and a tee shirt while my partner's at work. But this has 2 purposes: 1) chances are you haven't worn these before, and you want to make sure you've got the most comfortable ones you can in terms of fit and style; 2) if you've worn them once already, it'll be familiar when you go to put it on when you're ready to leave the hospital; you'll know which side is the back and which side is the front, and the 'weirdness' of wearing them will be less unsettling. You're going to have other weird stuff going on, this doesn't have to be yet another weird thing happening!

If you live alone or your partner doesn't (or can't) change the sheets, layer sheets on the bed. That's right, layer your mattress with bottom sheets. That way, you can peel the top one off and have a cleaner sheet beneath it. It won't be the same as being able to sleep on a fresh, clean sheet straight out of the cupboard or dryer, but it's going to be better than the one you've slept, sweat or, universe forbid, bled on.

Get a LEAKPROOF (truly) travel mug with a handle. After surgery you'll have maybe one comfortable position to lay in. You're not going to want to get out of that position to retrieve your water, but you're also going to need to be drinking a lot of water (it helps you recover, and also helps get your bowels moving again). Being able to lose your water in the bed is a luxury, but a necessary one. I got mine at Winners for pretty cheap.

Get a nightie or onesie. I usually sleep naked. I don't really own pyjamas -- when I need to cover up to sleep (like when I visit friends or travel), I throw on a pair of joggers, or boxer briefs. But those both have waistbands and, remember, we're trying to avoid waistbands. I ordered a sleep shirt from Oodie, which was on sale, but still expensive (I paid around $60, including 1-2 business day shipping because I didn't think of it until the last minute), as well as a halloween one-sie from Old Navy that's apparently leftover from last year's halloween stock. I'm expecting the onesie to be way too hot, but I need something I can wear out in public in case I have to get groceries, or pick something up at the pharmacy, or stand outside because the building's burning, without exposing myself. I also borrowed a robe to go over the sleep shirt when I leave the hospital.

Have whoever's picking you up bring 2 pillows. One goes between your abdomen and the seatbelt, and you sit on the other one.

Have whoever's picking you up bring fast food. When you leave the hospital you're going to either be ravenously hungry or feel like you never want to eat again. Either way, fast food is going to be the one thing you didn't realize you needed so badly in your life until that moment. Your body's going to be craving carbs and fat, and fat is also what's going to help your pain pills kick in.

Have ice cream, chips or other junk food on hand. This is mostly so that you have something to eat when you take your pain pills. Fatty foods help opiates work faster; as someone who takes them several times a month for chronic pain, I've sometimes noticed a difference of -hours- between taking them with fatty foods and taking them on their own.

Get a walking aid. We use our abdomens for everything. If you don't already have something like a cane, pick one up. Keep the receipt though; if you don't end up using it, you can usually take them back. With that said, my therapist said it's at about the 2 week mark when you feel like you actually need one. If you don't have a cane but you have walking/hiking sticks, dig them out and keep them handy.

Grab some baby wipes. You can get laparoscopic incisions wet, but that doesn't mean you're going to feel like you have the energy or endurance to shower right away. You're still going to want to keep your pits and bits clean.

If you take daily medications, organize them in a pill organizer. Things can get confusing when you're on painkillers, or when a partner is dishing out your meds. You know exactly how many you take, and how often, so the best way to approach this is to get a pill organizer and get all your doses for a week ready before your surgery. Monday AM, Monday PM, Tuesday AM, Tuesday PM, that kind of thing. There's nothing worse than being on painkillers and trying to remember if you've already taken That Very Important Medication You Can't Miss or not. Or, worse, not even realizing you've missed something that can give you withdrawal symptoms, and suddenly waking up a few days after surgery feeling worse than you've ever felt in your life and wondering if you need to go to the ER, only to have it turn out that you missed your meds.

Buy something for yourself that you can look forward to. I bought a video game that I've wanted for a couple of years that was finally on sale. I haven't touched it, and won't until sometime after surgery when I feel up to it. Giving yourself a little reward when you're going through something hard is always nice.

If you're diabetic...take a minute before your surgery to remind your partner/anyone you live with/anyone who's going to be looking after you about how and when to check your blood sugars, what numbers are abnormal for you, and what to do about them. Being ill or recovering from a surgery can really throw your diabetes out of whack, even if it's well-controlled beforehand, and recovering from surgery might make you feel a lot of the same symptoms you'd feel from a hypo/hyper or DKA, so make sure you (or someone else) test your sugars regularly and have things on hand to deal with abnormal or worrying results.

Take your phone everywhere. Painkillers (and pain) can make us unsteady. As someone who's taken a fall and had to wait hours for my partner to wake up and find me and help me back to my feet (and then bed), I don't recommend it.

These are the things I know about pre-surgery, but I'll try to update...eventually if I learn anything new post-surgery.

#transmasc #trans guy #trans man #transmasculine #ftm trans #surgery #medical stuff #hysto #hysterectomy #disability

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