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answersfromzestual · 10 months

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Information on Testosterone Hormone Therapy:

As you prepare to begin treatment, now is a great time to think through what your goals are, as the approach to hormone therapy is definitely not one-size-fits-all.

Do you want to get started right away on a path to the maximum safe effects? Or, do you want to begin at a lower dose and allow things to progress more slowly? Perhaps your long term goal is to seek less-than-maximal effects and you would like to remain on a low dose for the long term. Thinking about your goals will help you communicate more effectively with your medical provider (an endocrinologist is the best way) as you work together to map out your care plan.

Many people are eager for hormonal changes to take place rapidly- understandably so. But it's very important to remember that the extent of, and rate at which your changes take place, depend on many factors. These factors include your genetics, the age at which you start taking hormones, and your overall state of health.

Consider the effects of hormone therapy as a second puberty, and puberty normally takes years for the full effects to be seen. Taking higher doses of hormones will not necessarily bring about faster changes, but it could endanger your health. And because everyone is different, your medicines or dosages may vary widely from those of your friends, or what you may have read in books or in online forums. Use caution when reading about hormone regimens that promise specific, rapid, or drastic effects. While it is possible to make adjustments in medications and dosing to achieve certain specific goals, in large part the way your body changes in response to hormones is more dependent on genetics and the age at which you start, rather than the specific dose, route, frequency, or types of medications you are taking.

While I will speak about the approach to hormone therapy in transgender men, my comments are also applicable to non-binary people who were assigned female at birth and are seeking masculinizing hormone therapy.

There are four areas where you can expect changes to occur as your hormone therapy progresses: Physical, emotional, sexual, and reproductive.

Physical

The first physical changes you will probably notice are that your skin will become a bit thicker and more oily. Your pores will become larger and there will be more oil production. You’ll also notice that the odors of your sweat and urine will change and that you may sweat more overall. You may develop acne, which in some cases can be bothersome or severe, but usually can be managed with good skin care practices and common acne treatments. Some people may require prescription medications to manage acne, please discuss this with your provider. Generally, acne severity peaks during the first year of treatment, and then gradually improves. Acne may be minimized by using an appropriate dosing of testosterone that avoids excessively high levels.

Your chest will not change much in response to testosterone therapy. That said, surgeons often recommend waiting at least 6-12 months after the start of testosterone therapy before having masculinizing chest surgery, otherwise known as top surgery, in order to first allow the contours of the muscles and soft tissues of your chest wall to settle in to their new pattern.

Your body will begin to redistribute your weight. Fat will diminish somewhat around your hips and thighs. Your arms and legs will develop more muscle definition, with more prominent veins and a slightly rougher appearance, as the fat just beneath the skin becomes a bit thinner. You may also gain fat around your abdomen.

Your eyes and face will begin to develop a more angular, male appearance as facial fat decreases and shifts. Please note that it’s not likely your bone structure will change, though some people in their late teens or early twenties may see some subtle bone changes. It may take 2 or more years to see the final result of the facial changes.

Your muscle mass will increase, as will your strength, although this will depend on a variety of factors including diet and exercise. Overall, you may gain or lose weight once you begin hormone therapy, depending on your diet, lifestyle, genetics and muscle mass.

Testosterone will cause a thickening of the vocal chords, which will result in a more male-sounding voice. Not all trans men will experience a full deepening of the pitch of their voice with testosterone, however. Some may find that practicing various vocal techniques or working with a speech therapist may help them develop a voice that feels more comfortable and fitting. Voice changes may begin within just a few weeks of beginning testosterone, first with a scratchy sensation in the throat or feeling like you are hoarse. Next your voice may break a bit as it finds its new tone and quality.

The hair on your body, including your chest, back and arms will increase in thickness, become darker and will grow at a faster rate. You may expect to develop a pattern of body hair similar to other men in your family—just remember, though, that everyone is different and it can take 5 or more years to see the final results.

Regarding the hair on your head: most trans men notice some degree of frontal scalp hair thinning, especially in the area of your temples. Depending on your age and family history, you may develop thinning hair, male pattern baldness or even complete hair loss. Approaches to managing hair loss in trans men is the same as with cisgender men; treatments can include the partial testosterone blocker finasteride, minoxidil, which is also known as Rogaine, applied to the scalp, and hair transplantation. As with cis men, unfortunately there is no way to completely prevent male pattern baldness in those predisposed to develop this condition. Ask your provider for more information on strategies for managing hair loss.

Regarding facial hair, beards vary from person to person. Some people develop a thick beard quite rapidly, others take several years, while some never develop a full, thick beard. Just as with cisgender men, trans men may have varying degrees of facial hair thickness and develop it at varying ages. Those who start testosterone later in life may experience less overall facial hair development than those who start at younger ages.

Lastly, you may notice changes in your perception of the senses. For example, when you touch things, they may “feel different” and you may perceive pain and temperature differently. Your tastes in foods or scents may change.

Emotional state changes

The second area of impact of hormone therapy is on your emotional state.

Puberty is a roller coaster of emotions and the second puberty that you will experience during your transition is no exception. You may find that you have access to a narrower range of emotions or feelings, or have different interests, tastes or pastimes, or behave differently in relationships with other people. For most people, things usually settle down after a period time. Some people experience little or no change in their emotional state. I encourage you to take the time to learn new things about yourself, and sit with new or unfamiliar feelings and emotions while you explore and familiarize yourself with them. While psychotherapy is not for everyone, many people find that working with a therapist while in transition can help you to explore these new thoughts and feelings, get to know your new body and self, and help you with things like coming out to family, friends, or coworkers, and developing a greater level of self-love and acceptance.

Sexual changes

The third area of impact of hormone therapy is on your sexuality

Soon after beginning hormone treatment, you will likely notice a change in your libido. Quite rapidly, your genitals, especially your clitoris, will begin to grow and become even larger when you are aroused. You may find that different sex acts or different parts of your body bring you erotic pleasure. Your orgasms will feel different, with perhaps more peak intensity and a greater focus on your genitals rather than a whole body experience. Some people find that their sexual interests, attractions, or orientation may change when taking testosterone; it is best to explore these new feelings rather than keep them bottled up.

Don’t be afraid to explore and experiment with your new sexuality through masturbation and with sex toys. If you have a sex partner or partners, involve them in your explorations..

Reproductive system changes

The fourth area of impact of hormone therapy is on the reproductive system.

You may notice at first that your periods become lighter, arrive later, or are shorter in duration, though some may notice heavier or longer lasting periods for a few cycles before they stop altogether.

Testosterone may reduce your ability to become pregnant but it does not completely eliminate the risk of pregnancy. Transgender men can become pregnant while on testosterone, so if you remain sexually active with someone who is capable of producing sperm, you should always use a method of birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Transgender men may use any form of contraception, including the numerous options available that do not contain estrogen, and some that contain no hormones at all. There are many contraception options that are long acting and do not require taking a daily pill. Transgender men may also use emergency contraception, also known as the “morning after pill”. Ask your medical provider for more information on the contraceptive and family planning options available to you.

If you suspect you may have become pregnant or have a positive pregnancy test while taking testosterone, speak with you provider as soon as possible, as testosterone can endanger the fetus.

If you do want to have a pregnancy, you’ll have to stop testosterone treatment and wait until your provider tells you that it’s okay to begin trying to conceive.

It’s also important to know that, depending on how long you’ve been on testosterone therapy, it may become difficult for your ovaries to release eggs, and you may need to consult with a fertility specialist and use special medications or techniques, such as in vitro fertilization, to become pregnant. These treatments are not always covered by insurance, and can be expensive. Uncommonly, testosterone therapy may cause you to completely lose the ability to create fertile eggs or become pregnant.

Risks

While cisgender men do have higher rates of cholesterol related disorders and heart disease than cisgender women, the available research on transgender men taking testosterone has generally not found these differences. Most of the research on risk of heart disease and strokes in transgender men suggests that risk does not increase once testosterone is begun. However, longer term, definitive studies are lacking. It has been suggested that the risk of other conditions such as diabetes or being overweight is increased by masculinizing testosterone therapy, however actual research supporting these claims are limited.

One known risk is that testosterone can make your blood become too thick, otherwise known as a high hematocrit count, which can cause a stroke, heart attack or other conditions. This can be a particular problem if you are taking a dose that is too high for your body’s metabolism. This can be prevented by maintaining an appropriate dose and through blood tests to monitor blood and hormone levels.

While available data are limited, it does not appear that testosterone increases the risk of cancer to the uterus, ovaries, or breasts. Because not all breast tissue is removed during masculinizing chest surgery, otherwise known as top surgery, there is a theoretical risk that breast cancer could develop in the remaining tissue. However, it can be difficult to screen for breast cancer in this tissue, and there are risks of a false positive test result. Your provider can give you more information about breast cancer screening after top surgery.

Cervical cancer is caused by an infection with the human papillomavirus, or HPV. HPV is transmitted sexually, more commonly by having sexual contact with someone who has a penis. However, people who have never had sexual contact with a penis may still contract an HPV infection. The HPV vaccine can greatly reduce your risk of cervical cancer, and you may want to discuss this with your provider. Pap smears are used to detect cervical cancer or precancer conditions, as well as an HPV infection. Your provider will make a recommendation as to how often you should have a pap smear. It is unclear if testosterone therapy plays any role in HPV infection or cervical cancer.

If your periods have stopped because of testosterone treatment, be sure to report any return of bleeding or spotting to your provider, who may request an ultrasound or other tests to be certain the bleeding isn’t a symptom of an imbalance of the lining of the uterus. Sometimes such an imbalance could lead to a precancerous condition, although this is rare in transgender men. Missing a dose or changing your dose can sometimes result in return of bleeding or spotting. Some men may experience a return of spotting or heavier bleeding after months or even years of testosterone treatment. In most cases this represents changes in the body’s metabolism over time. To be safe, always discuss any new or changes to bleeding patterns with your doctor.

Fortunately, since you do not have a prostate, you have no risk of prostate cancer and there is no need to screen for this condition.

If you have had your ovaries removed, it is important to remain on at least a low dose of hormones post-op until at minimum age 50. This will help prevent a weakening of the bones, otherwise known as osteoporosis, , which can result in serious and disabling bone fractures.

Most people using masculinizing testosterone therapy will experience at least a small amount of acne. Some may experience more advanced acne. Often this acne responds to typical over-the-counter treatments, but in some cases prescription medication may be required. Acne usually peaks within the first year of treatment and then begins to improve.

While gender affirming hormone therapy usually results in an improvement in mood, some people may experience mood swings or a worsening of anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions as a result of the shifts associated with starting a second puberty. If you have any mental health conditions it is recommended you remain in discussion with a mental health providers as you begin hormone therapy.

Other medical conditions may be impacted by gender affirming hormone therapy, though research is lacking. These include autoimmune conditions, which can sometimes improve or worsen with hormone shifts, and migraines, which often have a hormonal component. Ask your medical provider if you have further questions about the risks, health monitoring needs, and other long term considerations when taking hormone therapy.

Some of the effects of hormone therapy are reversible, if you stop taking them. The degree to which they can be reversed depends on how long you have been taking testosterone. Clitoral growth, facial hair growth, voice changes and male-pattern baldness are not reversible.

Testosterone treatment approaches

Testosterone comes in several forms. Injections are usually best given weekly to maintain even levels of testosterone in the blood. Studies have shown that using a smaller needle and injection by the subcutaneous, or under the skin, approach, is just as effective as the intramuscular approach, which involves a larger needle injecting deeper into the muscle. In addition to injections, there are gel and patches that can be applied to the skin daily. The gel is applied to skin and once dry, you can swim, shower, and have contact with others. The patch also allows swimming, showering, exercise, and contact with others. All of these forms work equally well when the dosing is adjusted to achieve the desired hormone levels, and the decision about which form to use should be based mostly on your preference.

Another option for testosterone is the use of pellets under the skin. These are inserted every few months via a minor in-office procedure. Ask your medical provider for more information about this approach.

Recently, an oral form of testosterone, taken as a pill twice daily, has been approved for use. There are potential risks of high blood pressure when taking this medication, so extra steps need to be taken to monitor your health if you choose to use this form of your testosterone. Ask your medical provider for more information about this approach.

Regardless of the type of testosterone you are taking, it’s important to know that taking more testosterone will not make your changes progress more quickly, but could cause serious side effects or complications. Excess testosterone can result in mood symptoms or irritability, bloating, pelvic cramping, or even a return of menstruation. High levels of testosterone also result in increased estrogen levels, as a percentage of all testosterone in the body is converted to estrogen. In general estrogen blocking medicines are not used as a part of masculinizing hormone therapy.

Other medications that may be used include progestagens, which are hormones similar to or identical to those made by the body to maintain a balance in the lining of the uterus. These hormones can be used in cases where periods continue after testosterone levels have been optimized. These hormones can cause mood swings, bloating, and other side effects, so it is recommended that you discuss these medications further with you provider if they are to be used.

Final thoughts

And finally, please remember that all of the changes associated with the puberty you’re about to experience can take years to develop. Starting hormone therapy in your 40s, 50s, or beyond may bring less drastic changes than one might see when beginning transition at a younger age, due to the accumulated lifetime exposure to estrogen, and declining responsiveness to hormone effects as one approaches the age of menopause. Once you have achieved male-range testosterone levels, taking higher doses won’t result in faster or more dramatic changes, however they can result in more side effects or complications.

Now that you have learned about the effects of masculinizing hormone therapy, as well as risks and specific medication options, the next step will be to speak with your provider about what approach is best for you.

Source

#hormone therapy #testosterone #testosterone risks #testosterone educational post #transgender #trans ftm #transman #transmasc #ftm transition #ask me things #phalloplasty blog #metoidioplasty blog #ftm top surgery blog #ftm educational blog #ftm education

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cree-future-rabbi · 4 months

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To find the entire blog and up-to-date posts follow: https://www.tumblr.com/answersfromtheshadows

This is just the new main account I transferred answersfromtheshadows to so I could have it be its own entity.

This blog will not be updated often / at all in the future. For further information, please follow :

https://www.tumblr.com/answersfromtheshadows

#ftm transition #answersfromtheshadows #follow answersfromtheshadows #ftm transition educational blog #phalloplasty #phalloplasty education blog #ftm top surgery blog #ftm bottom surgery blog #metoidioplasty #female to male gender affirmation surgery information #sourced information #relaible information ftm trans

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boytransmission · 11 days

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pansy!

please help me afford top surgery ❤️‍🩹

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sleepymothboy · 1 month

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thinking about how when i woke up from top surgery i started talking about my boyfriend and saying i was excited to text him again and let him know i was okay and the surgery went well. and they told me my heart rate went up when i started talking about him. and then when i got my phone back and started texting him something started beeping because my heart rate went up again. and that’s what love is i think.

#mlm #gay #mlm blog #mlm thoughts #lgbt #gay tumblr #gay thoughts #trans mlm #transmasc #top surgery #ftm #sleepymothbf

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boyfcasey · 2 months

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happy TDOV 😜

i’m 2 months post-op, ask me anything

#top surgery #ftm #nonbinary #enby #wlw #lesbian #new blog #follow #ftm nsft #ftm ns/fw #butch lesbian

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shercomet · 7 days

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🖤ྀིHiiiiii

🖤ྀིI made an alt to share my personal experiences but

🖤ྀིI also want to raise awareness to my gofundme

🖤ྀིI have a year to do this so let's go!!

🖤ྀི@felix-blaze

･〜☆GoFundMe☆〜･

👇🏼

https://gofund.me/6ebc2fd3

ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᶜᵃⁿⁿᵒᵗ ᵈᵒⁿᵃᵗᵉ ᵈʷ ᵗʰᵒ ᑉ³

#gofundme #trans support #transgender #top surgery #alt account #blog #trans man #trans help #fund me #trans ftm #ftm surgery #moots #share #like #spread #<333

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ohtransarchon · 8 months

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Lil update for meeee

right so- after many falls I finally WIN! Got my gender incongruence diagnosis which is the diagnosis I needed to get my transition started and I know like "uh that's obvious" well it wasn't for ME- no one told me that before I attempted to start so- now nothing is in my way :] Though as I've had more thoughts on it I really want top surgery and will consider starting hrt after top op.

It might not only be for me but I wonder, I'm kinda used to not getting the things I dream for so it feels kinda weird to sit here now with the opportunity in my hands- kinda just felt like I'd never get here and I would just continue to watch as others did.. Hasn't quite sunk in yet lmao.

ANYBUT, homeboy can get his biddies chopped now, whenever he pleases! everybody cheer!

#transgender #transmasc #trans ftm #top surgery #trans #trans pride #trans blog

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goodfornothing-rascal · 1 year

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trans people are so much hotter its kindof crazy

#-emile #using scapers blog bc i am hashtag paranoid #t4t #ftm t4t #irl and fictionally too #nothing makes a person more attractive than top surgery scars..#tbh #trans #bisexual

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casperolivervo · 6 months

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A Letter For Little Me

This is also posted on my Medium blog, along with other writings of mine!

A letter as a trans man who's about to get my top surgery tomorrow. I decided to sit and write a letter for my younger self, and I figured I'd share it in case anyone else may find comfort in it/relate to any of what's said.

Dear Little Me,

It’s Casper, aka you from 2023. Hope you like the name we’ve chosen! We’re now 27, and tomorrow is a very big day for us: we’re getting top surgery tomorrow!

We’ve wanted this for quite a while, huh? Over ten years we’ve wanted this change. Over ten years we’ve wanted to make this body really feel like ours, and now it’s finally happening. I hope you’re not disappointed in how long it took, but are rather excited to know that it will in fact happen!

For a long time we’ve struggled to feel at home in our body, we’ve struggled to identify with our birth name, we’ve struggled to connect with the life that many of the adults around us expected for us to live. We’ve lived on such a tight leash with such a painful muzzle for so long, I know it’s hard to imagine a life without it. I promise you: we will free ourselves, and we will make this body a true home for ourselves.

As I prepare us for tomorrow, I remember how we used to cry to mom at night about hating our chest and our painful menstrual cycles. We would beg for mama to help us, working towards a breast reduction or getting on birth control to alleviate the pains, to alleviate the dysphoria.. she did what she could, but it never felt like enough. We didn’t know at the time, but our gender dysphoria was trying to communicate to us that something was off. You did the right thing to listen to the feeling, and I am so sorry that so many of the adults around you made it feel unsafe to be even more open about it. But I want you to know: there are adults who love and support you, I promise you that those adults will continue to fight for you in the ways that they can.

We’re no longer in Indiana, we escaped! We moved to Florida for a while, but that wasn’t the place for us. In fact, Florida got worse than Indiana was in some ways. While being there led to many amazing and wonderfully life-changing experiences, we also would have been unsafe to stay. Us and our polycule (wife, boyfriend, and queer-platonic partner/QPP) are all now safely in Oregon. It’s like the best of both worlds: we live in a rural farm town again, but it’s far more liberal and diverse than in Indiana. We’re also still in contact with many of our Indy friends, even as many of them flock and flee to other parts of the world- or those who have stayed in Indiana to continue the fight to make things better. We’ve also made many wonderful new friends and have built a new family for ourselves.

I know it can be hard to imagine, but we pursued what we really wanted to do: we’re an actor! You grow up to become a voice actor for podcasts, an award-winning script writer and stage performer, we’re doing drag shows as a pageant-crowned drag king, and we’re helping host murder mystery parties as we PRETEND to be a detective… I know you never wanted to actually be an officer of the law, and I promise we’ll never be forced into that role. In fact: we’re staunchly ACAB. (I promise you’ll learn what that means sooner rather than later). You never wanted to go into the military, and you did the right thing by backing out of that by any means necessary. I know it seems like dad’s plan for you is the only option that you have, but it is not, and we’re living a far better life than we could have imagined.

Now that we’re in Oregon, we’re able to spend our time making art and helping fellow queer and disabled people.

Before you fight me on it: honey, we’re disabled. No matter what dad said about health, we are disabled and that is a-okay… Our body and brain need more care, and I promise you’ll get the care you need. Our new doctor is wonderful and we have a medical team that believes us. We are not weak or lazy, we’re ill and our body needs extra care- like Sarah, ours is just harder to see than hers.

We’re able to work with our friends and partners to make art and create resources for folks in need. We’re able to connect with people like us, or people that are so different from ourselves that it opens our eyes to brand new ways of life, and we’re made all the better for it. We’re able to help kids who grew up like us to live better and happier lives, we’re able to meet people much older than us who have so much wisdom about life that we’re finally able to receive.

Unfortunately, mama is gone now… I promise you: it is not your fault. We knew that she would die before us, likely while we were young… but it isn’t the end of the world when that happens. It hurts, but we survive. Make the most of your time with her while you can, and when she’s gone we’ll find new ways to communicate and contact her. Our witchcraft is still very important to us, and it allows us to become even closer to our mama than we ever believed possible. You need time without her to work on yourself, and you’ll eventually be able to have a healthier relationship with her.

Dad’s gone too, but not in the same way. We finally had the strength to cut him out of our life. You don’t need to worry about him, he’ll be okay. Cutting him out is going to be the best thing you could do for yourself. It’ll hurt and be hard, but it’s going to be such a freeing and liberating experience. He can’t control our life, he can’t force us into anything we don’t want to do, he can’t keep us in a box anymore. I promise you: life is so much better without him tugging on the leash or tightening the muzzle anymore. You will miss him and the good times with him, but you’ll find far better parental figures over time. And you’ll also find out that you are not the only person that he mistreated, and many adults did see how he was treating you as bad. You’ll have more allies than you could imagine, you’re not alone.

Tomorrow is our first gender-affirming operation. We have the medical support we need for it, we have a community of loved ones helping us through, and we have the insurance and finances to afford it. We still are fighting to get other medical needs met, but it is infinitely better than it was in Indiana.

As of right now, I don’t have much more to say. I still need to set up our recovery space and make sure the home is clean before I become unable to do chores for a while. But I wanted to give you a sliver of hope that things will get better, and I’m sure I’ll write more letters to you over time.

Thank you for holding on and continuing to fight, I promise it’ll all be worth it. We’re still fighting for better, but we’re not doing it alone anymore.

I love you, hun. I promise you’re doing great, and you’ll come to love yourself in time. Be kind to yourself until then, you’ve gone through a lot.

Sincerely,

Older You.

IMAGE ID: a photo of my younger (still femme) self smiling in the rural Indiana countryside.

#My posts #blog posts #FTM #trauma healing #letter to my younger self #childhood trauma #complex ptsd #genderqueer #nonbinary man #top surgery

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answersfromzestual · 6 months

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Improved Blog Directory - Find what you need

BLOG RULES: PLEASE READ

Educational Article on the Phalloplasty Surgical Procedure -self written

How to choose clothing/shoe sizes during transition - clothing on smaller feet and frames

Formal Wear - how to dress formally during transition.

Need to speak to someone? Do you need help with your legal name change? Please click here. Translifeline.org

USA Safe States for Trans-People (Constantly Updated by the website Owner)

What to Update After Legal Name Change

Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) Testosterone - storage, travel, and injection advice

Facial Hair Information- Tips and Tricks on How to Shave (HRT)

Frequently Asked Questions about Phalloplasty - My [personal] Experiences

How can one ejaculate after phalloplasty procedure? -ask answered.

Common Phalloplasty Misconceptions- Article

Male Mannerisms- help to know male gestures, wording, and attitude- (ask)

Beginning testosterone, testosterone hormone therapy

Testosterone Experiences That Caught Me Off Guard - (Ask)

Safe Binding and Packing - Articles Purchase Sites Also

Staying Stealth During Surgeries, Explaing Scarring - advice (ask)

Top Surgery (both ftm & mtf), procedures, and approximate costs.

Can I have top surgery and be overweight?

Keyhole Top Surgery Procdure- Outline and what qualifies you as a potential candidate

Finding a Top Surgeron in North America

So You Just Had Surgery (Top)- Advice on the best way to heal after surgery/ minimize scarring.

Is more time on the operating table really better? Operating time and infection information.

Metoidioplasty FAQ

My arm and upper thigh after about a decade after phalloplasty.

My Personal Surgeon and Their Clinic

Interview with Dr. Chen about Bottom Surgery

Penile/ Phalloplasty Erectile Devices

Expectations- Personal Advice on Setting Expectations

Urethra lengthening Procedure Information- Self written article.

Importance of Uriologist

Phalloplasty Website - Includes Parents Guide

Urethra Lengthening Procedure

General Surgical Risks

Plus Sized Surgery Risks

List of Phalloplasty Surgerons in the USA

Vaginal-Perservering Phalloplasty Procedure

Graft SiteCare for Forearm -Free Flap Phalloplasty

What Happens if Erectile Device Breaks?

Image of My Phalloplasty (wearing underwear) Educational Purposes Only

Phalloplasty Procedure Outline by GRS Montreal - (Link to Webpage)

First Every Phalloplasty Procedure - Surgeon

Michael Dillon- Trans Pioneer (First phalloplasty patient)

How to Find Proper Sources of Information in a World of False Information/ Online Safety

Why certain terms can be hurtful. Please respect my/others views.

Tattooing over your forearm skin graft -ask

Testosterone and Hair Loss Information

If there are any other posts/ other topics I should add to this directory, please send me an ask. I will never post your username without your expressed consent in the ask.

#phallollasty education blog #transgender #trans ftm #transman #ftm transition #phalloplasty #ftm phalloplasty #phalloplasty blog #phallo education #blog directory #find what you need quickly #lgbtq #this took me a long time #ftm top surgery educational blog #ask me things #ftm trans education

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cree-future-rabbi · 4 months

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I have completed the transfer to its own Blog

It is still, technically, a side blog, I haven't figured out if it is possible to transfer it and also make it a main blog without reposting the data post by post.

There is no reason to follow the other blog, this one will remain intact as it is.

The entire account is dedicated to this blog and only this blog. So I apologize for all those who followed the new blog.

This blog has the same URL, title, and content as before. Nothing has changed on your end.

Here is the link to the Blog Directory

Remember, if you need some advice and would feel comfortable sending me an e-mail, it is still [email protected] Feel free to write me and we can have more of a conversation about the questions you may have. Of course we also have the Ask Tab.

Thank you to all the loyal followers who have waited and waited for this to be its own entity.

Stay Golden 💙🩷

#trangender #ftm transition #ftm bottom #trans ftm #trans masc #trans boy #trans male #female to male information blog #ftm info blog #ftm bottom surgery blog #ftm top surgery blog #ftm gender affirmation blog #ftm hormone infomation blog #i made it into its own blog #ask answersfromtheshadows #ftm education blog #sourced and medically accurate information #thank you all for making this worthwhile #i am happy to help

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boytransmission · 12 days

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sunny boy ✌️

top surgery fund!

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transician · 2 years

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I tried using mascara for my look and I feel like such a good young man

#i'm a soft boy #trans #transgender #trans man #ftm #ftm bottom #trans pride #delete your blog sage #transisbeautiful #trans rights #top surgery #trans boy #ftm pride #trans ftm #transmasculine #transmasc #trans guy

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pansyfemme · 7 months

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jude + he/him + nineteen

COMMISSION ME

FTM, femme, faggot, fat boy, colorfreak and general rainbow lover. I’m a visual artist (cartoonist, sculptor, painter, etc,) currently in art school, have a special interest in twee pop, and i make transgender penis jokes on the internet. Stay weird with it always, yknow?

Art: @fagboyfriend

Twee/Indie Pop blog : @upforabit

selfies are under: #Jude pansyfem irl

putting a short faq under cut bc. i get the same questions a lot. check it before you ask about my icon or header or anything

faq:

How long have you been on T/How do you have a beard at 19? I came out at 12 years old, started blockers at 14 and HRT later that same year, and had top surgery at 17, making me 5 years on t and 2.5 years post op.

What show/game/comic is your icon from? its a cropped version of the album cover of the 1999 album “shake the pounce” by vancouver based twee pop band Gaze. It’s a favorite album of mine as well as just a cool little guy i like a lot

Where is your header from? a painting i did in gouache a year or two ago and thought would make a nifty header.

Oh come on, you’re not unboyfriendable! “unboyfriendable” has been my title for about three years now on account of it being a lyric from a song that means a lot to me, “all my little words” by the magnetic fields. EDIT: i am. in fact, boyfriendable, it seems. this has been brought to my attention recently. slight adjustments needed to be made but i carry on the legacy <3 (yes he’s cute)

How do I refer to you? Actually, i don't get this question a lot, and I shouldn't, since this info is both in my pinned above and in my bio. But a lot of people still seem awful confused. I am male. FTM. I use He/Him pronouns and masculine terms with the exception of compliments like 'pretty' and all that. I am not nonbinary, and do not like to be referred to gender neutrally. I simply am a trans man who enjoys gender non conformity and cross-dressing.

Are you Bi or Gay? this world is full of beauty. im queer. take that how you will. I like hot people but especially like pretty men. <- guy who will not shut up about his very pretty boyfriend

What style are you wearing/where do you get your clothes? I started by wearing my personal version of the japanese fashion subculture Decora Kei. My decora became a bit messy and grungy, and while i do still identify as a decora boy and wear full coords from time to time, i consider myself now someone who enjoys colorful fashion and takes influence from 90s harajuku fashion, punk subcultures, drag and other campy fashion. I shop a variety of places, but a lot of my stuff is from Kei Collective or Candy Trap.

What is Twee/Do you Make Music? Twee is a music genre I developed a special interest in a few years back. It's a style of indie pop that originated after the UK rise of the famous c86 compilation tape in the late eighties, and was developed with a focus on low-fidelity, diy sound combined with upbeat, bubblegum-y pop sentiments and a naive, childlike outlook. It's both cute and somewhat rough around the edges. I do not make music, and don’t hold any musical skill. I’m just a major fan.

Do you take commissions? Yeah, Info above!

Can you boost/reblog this post for me? This is a tough answer, i know, but if we are not mutuals, or I do not know you, I cannot do that for you. My reasoning being that I have been baited by very similar asks in the past that turned out to be scams, and I do not want to take the risk of spreading misinformation or scams now that I have a much larger following. I do my best to spread stuff that ends up on my dash and/or I can factcheck, but if I do not have that, I will be wary, considering my past interactions.

Can we be friends/Can I DM you? Anyone is welcome to send me a message of any type at any time, unless I have those settings changed, in which case i likely have it off short term, because i experience fairly regular transphobic harassment and i find it the best way to protect myself. However, just understand that I am a stranger on the internet. I don't always want to continue every conversation, and I'm not online all the time. I have all push notifications for tumblr turned off, including asks and dms, because it's much better for my mental health to be able to opt out of tumblr the moment I close the app. So, if i don't respond, i'm probably just doing something else or didn't see your message.

Do you have a DNI? I haven't in a long time, due to it being pretty frequently ignored and my following count growing to the point i can't really control that anymore. I can and will block people, but i feel my opinions are made fairly clear through what I post here.

#Bandcamp

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s3thwrit3sstuff · 2 months

Note

hello seth! i don’t think my tumblr works with anon so i’ll just send it like this! i’m a huge fan of your writing and i absolutely adore it. whenever i am in the need for a good story and writing inspiration i go to your blog. so i was hoping if you could write a sally face fic! i haven’t seen too many on here and willing to write for m reader or ftm.

i like the thought of being with sally and just having time with him, soft domestic type stuff. then he starts asking you how you really feel about his face and you smile and take off his mask with permission and kiss him saying he’s beautiful and to not worry. you kiss him and hold him. he then sits up but keeps your lips locked and you begin to explore each other sexually but in a such intimate way you both are crying almost. if you want could be m reader but i would love a ftm reader! can we also have reader be bottom but still be guiding sally and affirming him. i know this is a big ask and you’re always working so hard so please take liberty with this ask! take what you want from it and remove what you don’t like. i just love you’re writing. take your time as well! writing can be draining sometimes and you really need to find that inspiration so i want to make sure you feel no pressure!

have a good day/night/evening!!<3

❝ I'll show you how we're supposed to feel (when we meet at Orion's belt) ❞

warnings: mentions of facial dysphoria, self-deprecating thoughts (Sal), unprotected sex, praise (a lot of it), minor hair pulling, creampies, AFAB terminology (clit referred to as dick/cock, terms like cunt and boypussy are used)

masterlist ;

authors note: thank you so much for your kind words! hearing that you use my writing as writing inspiration made me feel so warm and fuzzy on the inside oh lord 😭 you're too kind! This request was the softest one I've ever worked on, thank you so much for gracing me with the opportunity to write this~

*song on repeat: Orion's Belt by Sabrina Claudio / Baby Girl by SMNM

"Cold, cold, cold," Sal lifts his head from the couch. The sight of you rushing down the wooden stairs in nothing but a towel makes him lift himself to sit. "Fuck! Sal, you should put carpet in here!" Grinning, he leans forward and folds himself in half to stare at you furiously lifting the towel up to wrap around your shoulders instead.

"You hate carpet. B'sides, it'll get that weird moldy smell in here. I told you to get those fuzzy slippers," Gizmo meows in agreement from his corner of the couch. "Traitor!" you exclaim and he simply meows once again, lifting a leg to lick his stomach and Sal reaches over to give his head a good scratch.

"See? Even Gizmo agrees."

"Gizmo has in-built fuzzy socks. He has no say in this," your huffing and puffing simply makes Sal roll his eye, lifting Gizmo up to place the large cat right on his stomach while he props his head onto the armrest of the couch. Gizmo stretches out onto his torso, unbothered by the change in position while he presses his nose into Sal's chest and twists until he's nearly full on his back; the action makes Sal secure the old cat on him. His olive-toned arm loosely wrapped across Gizmo's purring body.

You're still rambling but it's all background noise to Sal. The sight of your bare legs and backside calls for his attention and despite how guilty he feels, he can't help but drag his sight all the way up to your — now — bare shoulders. The towel is now limply draped over the towel rack, and your muscles and bones are moving seamlessly underneath the fabric of your skin.

Everything about you can make him feel like he's going to explode. In a good way, if you can believe it. He sure as hell didn't. Sal remembers the first time he saw you, thinking you looked cool and that it was nice your interests lined with his. Somehow you managed to become more than that.

More always scared Sal. It was greedy and selfish. He wasn't religious but there was a sense of anxiety that came from wanting and needing more than you were given. Some sort of divine guilt was planted within him through passing by churches and reading the signs of worship plastered on billboards. Needing more is frightening, especially from other people.

More time spent with you two. More hours of listening to you speaking. More days spent with you in his home, bare skin and bare soul all for him and only him.

It frightened him!

Because, as self-centered as it sounds, he'd have to give you more. Don't take this the wrong way, he wants to — God, he wants to — but...but...

What if you don't like all that he has?

The fabric of his skin is spoiled. Marred. One of his eyes is artificial, his jaw asymmetrical, bone blown to bits, nose cut off and skin grafts stitched together and spliced.

His heart hammers in his chest, and his breathing is shaky as he squeezes Gizmo. The patch-furred critter mews, twisting once again and crawling up. His weight on Sal's chest is comforting. The pressure across it squeezed down on him, reminding his body that it was real and he was safe.

"In conclusion, I propose we buy a heater! That way we can — "

You're dressed in Sal's pajama pants, hands in the middle of pulling down the oversized band shirt when you notice Sal squeezing his eyes shut.

"Sal? Baby? What's wrong?" You sit by his legs, placing a hand on his knee and pressing your hands on it to ease him back down. "You're okay, baby. You're okay." It's not often Sal gets like this. You've known him ever since he came to Nockfell County; you know he's the type of person to withdraw within himself when his anxieties get the best of him. He's certainly gotten better with time and as your friendship — and eventual relationship — got stronger, the both of you worked on ways to lean on each other when things get tough.

Sal inhales deeply, Gizmo raising with the motion, and exhales. You don't pry more, giving him room to find the words and tether back to you. Gizmo's purrs muffle the silence.

"Sorry, just, the sight of your ass gave me a heart attack, Jesus," the joke is met with a loose grin but Sal knows you better than that. Still. He's grateful you snort at his jesting. Gizmo stands — Sal grimaces as he puts all his weight on his sternum — then walks over to your lap instead. The sight makes him calm down.

The faded grey of the once-black band shirt and his pajama pants do too. It's silly but the sight of you in everything that's his comforts a part of him. You're here. You're in love with him. Your gaze holds nothing but patience and adoration and a tinge of worry.

But you're here, in his clothes, in his room, his cat in your lap, and your hands on his body.

"You feeling better, Sal?" He nods, pushing to sit. "Do you wanna talk about it, baby?" Gizmo gives your chin one more bump before he jumps on the floor and meanders his way to his food bowl. Taking the chance, you inch closer to Sal and he's grateful for it.

You're not scared of the cold prosthetic on his face. The iron bolts that secure the straps to his face and head, the glass eye that shines humourlessly in any situation.

"Do you ever want...more from this? From me?" That line of questioning made your brows furrow and mouth frown. "What do you mean?" You reach for him and Sal reciprocates by holding your hand in his lap.

"I was joking about seducing Mr Smith from the electronics store for a heater," he scoffs at your lame joke but continues. "I don't mean that, I'll get us a heater. Just..."

"You've never seen...all of me." His grip loosens but you don't let it. "So?" he looks at you, his face angled low and the shape of his prosthesis mimics his brow bone. Sal is pinching his face, confused at your indignant tone.

"So?" He whispers. You lift his hand up, inching in closer and placing his knuckles over your clavicle.

"So?"

"Doesn't it freak you out? We've been together for so long and you've never seen my face," he murmurs. Since you're so close, speaking above a whisper would ruin this moment. Sal's heart is racing again though this time the anxiety is laced with his love for yours. It's a confusing emotion but he relishes the way you press your forehead to his, nose bumping with the bump on his prosthesis.

"Do you want me to see your face?" He inhales sharply, glancing away.

"...I do. But..."

"Mm?" you spread his fingers out, guiding them to your neck and the calloused pads of Sal's fingers make gooseflesh spread. The hairs on the back of your neck standing in applause; because that's what he does to you.

He makes your pupils expand, makes your heart race, makes your brain produce dopamine; your body lights up like a goddamn firework when he so much as looks your way. You can be yourself with him without fear because you know you do the same to him.

"...I've only ever let you kiss me when it's dark. The first time we had sex, I couldn't even take off the mask...I just...I'm..."

Your frown deepens when Sal sighs, his shoulders dropping.

"Be honest. Does it bother you?"

He's glad you don't reply immediately. A part of him always worries your love for him overtakes everything else. That, if something ever happens between the two of you and it tears you apart, you'll feel regret once the love is gone. You brush his hair behind his ear, cupping his jaw as you shake your head.

"No. It doesn't. Because it's you, Sal. I love you. Even the parts you aren't ready for me to see." He exhales and his breath escapes through the slits of his mouth. You feel it on your thumb and it makes you grin.

There's a twitch in his eye and your grin falters for a moment before it reappears when he locks eyes with you.

"...Do you want me to see your face, baby?"

His jaw is set. His tongue is made of lead. So Sal simply closes his eyes and gives you a minuscule nod. If it weren't for your hand on his jaw, you probably would've mistaken it for a twitch.

"Can I take off your prosthetic?"

Another nod.

"Are you sure, baby? I won't do it if you're not — "

"I'm sure." He says in one breath. "I'm sure."

A moment of silence was shared and you leaned forward to press your lips in the molding of his. The cool material does not pulse or pump with life but it's your Sal's and you cherish it deeply; he exhales shakily and you grin as your fingers dance through the locks of blue to find the straps that hold the prosthetic in place.

It's secure, it's meant to be, and you can feel the wear and tear of the years in the material. The scratches and indents weaved into every fiber. You unbuckle the lower end first and Sal tightens his hold on you, so you pause and press another kiss to his porcelain cheek.

When he nods, you continue, cupping the mask in one hand to steady it while you undo the upper buckle.

Sal would be statue-like if it weren't for the nervous tremors in his fingers. The mask loosens and its weight drops into your hand. His breath does not come through the slits anymore and you can feel it breeze through the fine hairs on your fingers.

He says nothing and neither do you. Still, you place one more kiss on the forehead of his prosthetic and lower it from view.

Sal has his eyes cast away, but he faces you. There's a large scar across the right side of his mouth, splitting his lips and exposing his teeth. There's a dent on the right side of his lower jaw that leaves his bone structure slightly unbalanced, and the cartilage of his nose is completely missing. The skin has healed, stretching his eye and tugging on the rest. It's pinkish still, never quite settling into the rest of his olive-toned skin, and Sal understands why it's jarring.

It's like peeling back the layers of what makes humans...humans.

The skin. The sight of his face makes people unnerved. Teeth and gums and muscles and the lack of a nose. One side of his face was a plain canvas and the other was a goddamn Jackson Pollock painting of horror.

Your touch on his bare skin shocks him. The pads of your fingers drag across his cheekbones. "Does it hurt?" You ask with your eyes lidded.

"No, no, it...it doesn't." You smile and your thumb rests just under his eyes, sweeping fondly while your palm holds his face preciously within your hand. There's a flush to his skin — it's not unusual with how the prosthetic held over his face nearly 24/7.

There's a feeling of nakedness that comes without the even pressure across his visage but your hands are an amazing substitute.

"You don't have to be nice," he says. "It takes a lot to get used to — "

"I know I can't completely convince you to not think of yourself as 'something to get used to' but you're not. Not to me." Sal's eye water and he wills himself to finally look at you.

There's a pinch to your brows, it makes your eyebrows cast this shadow across your eyes and highlight the colours of your eyes. You're frowning at his self-deprecation, though beyond that he can see you mean well.

"I would gladly sit on your face, Sal."

He scoffs, groaning as he slips away from your hand to toss his head back and flop right onto the couch again. "You're fuckin' impossible, (Y/N)," he mumbled as his hands covered his face. You place the prosthetic down on the makeshift coffee table near the couch and chuckle as you swing one leg over his hips and rest your crotch over his.

"What? I'm being honest here!" Bracing your weight on your elbows, Sal finds the comfort of your body across his similar to Gizmo's. "You're fucking beautiful," he squirms at that and you huff, nuzzling your face into his neck while he peeks from over his fingers.

"You don't have to say that," you huff once again. "I'm not saying that because I have to, I'm saying it because I want to. You're fucking beautiful, me being your boyfriend is just a coincidence."

He feels you shifting and instinctively, his hands rest on your hips and there he is again. You know you shouldn't stare, so you don't, but the shy glances at his face are less than secretive. His eyes are blue, cobalt almost, and his eyebrows are a darker shade of his hair. The shape of his eyes is rounded, with a deep crease and heavy eyelids just like his father's. Lifting your head, you gaze down at him and your hands are once again gingerly ghosting on his skin. This time, they're tracing his collarbones, feeling up the protruding muscle of his neck and halting at his jaw.

"Can I kiss you, baby?" He has a quirk. A lip twitch that he does when he's excited; you've been dating him for years and you're still finding out new things about your boyfriend. It makes your heart race and it only triples in speed when he nods. Hovering, the peak of your lips ghost his. He had always envied how you kiss his prosthetic. It was an extension of himself but he hated how badly he wanted to feel you on him.

They press to his and Sal slips his eyes closed. It's nothing more than a peck. Innocent, chaste. But then he's tightening his grip and pulling you in; tilting his head like he's always seen other people do and you're grinning into it. He knows because he can feel it.

He can feel it.

How your lips spread, the hint of teeth that slide over his bottom ones, and the crinkling of your nose that's brushing over his cheek.

"You taste so good, pretty boy," your words make his ears red. "I'm sure anything is better than kissing porcelain," he replies with a breathless tone, leaning forward again as if unwilling to part from you even if just to talk.

"No, don't disrespect yourself like that. What did we say about making those jokes." "Hah, I'll stop when you do."

Giggling, you're leaning in again. Sal wonders if kissing you is the only reason he's not completely in tears. The first time he'd accidentally showed Larry his face, he'd cried because Larry didn't look away from him. You taste tears on your lips and Sal curses softly as he tucks himself under your jaw, groaning. You shush him comfortingly, threading your fingers through his hair as he takes a few deep inhales.

"I love you." Those words are followed by more tears and you squeeze him again. "I love you, Sal," he nods against your — his — shirt. He can feel the grin you have from the crown of his head.

"I love you. I love you. I love you."

Because you did. Sal was the man you wanted to be with until the Earth decided to throw in the towel; it didn't matter how buried your love for each other would be, because when your bones are dug up, or his guitar, or the treasure trove of things you've called yours; in the future, when you whisper to those archeologists: "Do you know?" they'd nod and reply, "We know you loved him."

Sal has never felt love like this. One that felt overwhelming at first, the same way entering a body would be for the first time in your life, but once he embraced the feeling? It was so...fulfilling.

How lucky was he?

Sal pulls away to cup your face and he leans in. You meet him halfway.

The feeling of your breath, your heart thudding against his own chest, the pulse beating under his thumb as he holds your neck — Sal isn't sure if he'd ever get into heaven but he doubts it ever compares to you.

His jaw moves and your lips part as you press closer. Fuck, kissing him felt like drinking in sunlight. There's a freedom that follows it, leaves you floaty and blissful.

"I love you," he replies between the friction, teeth biting down on your lower lip if only to hear if you'd gasp. You do.

"I love you so fuckin' much, (Y/N)." There's a feverish desperation in his words. But it makes your heart swell. There's no doubt in his eye, nothing but the truth and the truth is he'd worship you.

You're kissing again. Eager to show him the explosions he sets off within you. Between desperate lip locking and messy tangles of tongues, his hands move down and up your — his —shirt.

Squeezing your sides as he drags his digits across your skin. It spreads fire across your planes, has your already uneven breath shuddering as he memorizes the shape of your body again.

There's a growing hardness between his legs. You can feel it — twitching below your crotch as he tilts his head and tastes the lust that perspires from your neck.

He's greedy with his mouth. How could he not be? Sal has been wanting to taste you the second he realised how badly he wished you were his.

"Fuck, Sal." You groan, chewing on your lower lip as he experiments with this unmarked territory. His tongue is warm, his teeth brushes over pumping arteries with an air of amusement; when he finds the sweet spot? The spot where your breath hitched as he kissed it?

Sal makes your blood vessels explode. It isn't enough that the hairs on your neck stand in attention because of him, or how your blood rushes to your head when he so much as looks your way. He's determined to show you he can worship you in more ways than one.

You're gripping onto his shirt and your hips grind down. The moan he lets out makes your cunt wetter than before.

"I need you," you tell him as he sinks his teeth in. Just to test it out, to see if you'd like it. You do. His back feels cold as you lift his shirt but he grips at your wrist, panting as he moves his head away so you can see him.

"Can I...Can I keep it on?" He already felt a touch too exposed. You nod, reassuring him with a chaste peck.

"I'm gonna take of my shirt. You've made me all warm," he smiles a bit too smugly. He's handsome that way. When he gets a bit cocky — it's a sure fire way to make your head dizzy with desire.

"My shirt," he mumbles.

But when your bare torso is revealed the sass is pushed away. Sal presses kisses on your chest, teasing your perk buds with his too-warm hands and relishing in the way you toss your head back when he takes one in his mouth.

"Sal, holy fuck." He kneads at your ass, making your hips move back and forth. Rocking your clothed cunt over his boner as he leaves hickeys and bitemarks.

Here is where I plant my love, he thinks as he feels your heart pound against your ribcage, here is proof that he's mine.

Your pants are pulled below your waist and Sal moves back, making you yelp at the loss of balance. One second you're over him and the next, you're both tumbling over the couch.

His hand cradles the back of your head, curling over you as much as he could when you crash. Thankfully, none of you knocked into the coffee table but the adrenaline of the short fall makes the both of you wide-eyed.

"Holy fuck!" You laugh breathlessly. He scans you for any injury but soon follows suit. "You okay?" His hair curtains your face from view as he descends to claim your lips again.

"I'm peachy, baby." Sal grunts as you tug at the waist band of his pants. "Don't stop..." and how could he say no to you when you look up at him like that?

Your hands invade underneath his shirt and Sal moans as you press your fingers lightly into his back, kneading at the tense muscles. "M'not gonna take it off. Just wanna feel you," you assure as you reach his shoulder blades. God, the feeling of your hands on his body made him feel so Holy.

Ironic in the grand scheme of things but it's not like Sal gave a damn.

It's your turn to mark him up. He often already is. But this time your lips latch onto the obvious places. Lifting yourself to sit, Sal is suddenly at your mercy as you lovingly bruise him up with your mouth.

Sal lifts himself off your crotch a bit, panting and moaning at your ministrations, and slips his hand down your pants. Your breath stutters as your boyfriend touches your core.

"Sal," you plead. "I know, baby. I know," Sal frowns when you whine. "What? What's the matter, sweetheart?"

"You're just..." You're breathing heavily as you stare up at him, nails lightly digging into his skin as your dick twitches against his palm.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Sal."

That catches him completely off-guard. He hates how tears immediately burn at his waterline but regret doesn't come when they travel down his cheek. You're kissing him and the self-depriciation doesn't once rise. That snivelling, hissing, voice of doubt remains mute as you hold him.

"So fucking pretty," he slips his finger in as if attempting to distract you with pleasure. It makes you keen but you continue to sing praises for him as he pumps his digits in and out of you.

It's hard to move when you curl your arms over his back, hands peeking from the stretched out collar of his shirt. Forehead once again pressed to his.

"I can't — "

"You're all mine. My pretty boy is all mine." Blood should not rush so quickly to one's head. His chest is dusted in red, his shoulders, his ear, the apples of his cheek —

"You feel so good, Sal."

You allow him to push you back, splaying out onto the floor with your eyes lidded in want as he looked at you.

"...Shit, you're making my brain go all stupid," he grumbles — it sounds more like a whine. You lift your hips as he tugs your pants down and off. Sal gets between your legs and for a moment you think he's about to just slide in — which causes you a bit of concern considering how much meat he's packing between his legs — but then he lays on his stomach and your cock peeks straight up.

"I've watched a few pornos," he says with a grimace, "but — "

"I can guide you, Sal." He's looking up at you with those doe eyes and you chuckle as you brush some of his hair back. "You made me cum from grinding on your goddamn leg before. You've got this, Sex Grandmaster Sal."

"Really don't think mentioning Larry's marijuana induced rambling is setting the mood, babe," your giggle smooths out the furrowed brows he had. "Sorry, sorry."

Your cunt is making his mouth water. Sal presses his thumb on your cock and the sigh you let out eases his worries. His tongue on your dick has you inhaling deeply, slowly, back arching off the floor as he looks up at you.

He's overzealous but fuck does it make you wetter than you've ever been. Licking and sucking on your cock while he teases the opening of your cunt with his fingers. The hints of teeth makes your hips twist but he holds your hips down with muffled groans.

"Fuck, yes. You're doing so good, Sal. S'fuckin' good — holy shit, babe," the way your voice gets all pitchy makes him grin. Your slick on his tongue is making him want more, so he spreads your lips apart and sinks his tongue inside, it makes your grip onto his head, and Sal moans into you at the pinpricks of pain that follow.

Fingers accompanies his tongue and you're clamping your thighs around his head. It forces Sal's face into your cunt and the whole thing has him chuckling against you.

Pinning your thighs apart, Sal licks and swipes at the slick around his mouth and chin, catching his breath as he curses.

"Fucking Christ, does it feel that good?" You whine in retaliation. "You're the one going down on me of course I'm going fuckin' crazy. You get all whiny when I go down on you too — "

He curls a finger inside of you and you cut yourself off with a particularly loud moan. The floorboards above you creak and like a deer lifting its head as a branch snaps in the distance, another follows as whoever was in the living room heard the echoing cries of pleasure.

Sal slips another finger in and you cover your mouth, glaring at his handsome face petulantly. It falters as he stretches you out, thrusting in and out with a steady rhythm that he occasionally breaks to curl his fingers up.

You're groaning and curling your toes, eyelids fluttering and squeezing shut as he jerks you off with his other hand. Loosening his jaw, Sal uses his spit to lube you up further. He had a thing for sloppy sex. You once joked he enjoyed the slick-and-slide of it all and he didn't deny it then and probably won't ever.

"Nuh - no, don't wanna cum yet, I wanna cum with you, baby," he slows his rhythm, staring at you as you lift yourself onto your hands and taste yourself on his lips.

"Want you inside me. Please, Sal, I'm beggin'"

"You don't have to. I've got you." He nods when you hold onto the waist of his pants. Pulling it down to his knees and let his cock spring out into the air. Fuck, it's a pretty dick.

It's fat and heavy. Thicker than longer, the girth always makes your toes curl. It's a darker colour compared to the rest of his skin tone, the mushroom tip a warmer shade that burns when you tease him too much. You motion for the couch and he leans against it, whispering your name as you hover over his cock.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he says as you pump his dick with your fist while you line it up to your cunt. "You're pretty fucking hot yourself, big dick," he struggles not to laugh in your face, shaking his head in 'disapproval' that's short-lived.

You sink down on the tip of his cock and Sal moans out your name, squeezing your hips. You shiver for a moment, willing your insides not to clench so excitedly when you've still got some ways to go.

"Shit, (Y/N). You're so fuckin' tight." You could not agree more. The more you go down on him, the more you're tempted to just squeeze him like a vice. Sal brings your face down to kiss him, very quickly becoming addicted to the feeling of it. It's no wonder teenagers made out in the hallways all the damn time.

Gravity helps you the rest of the way. When he's all the way inside of you, you part your lips, the way your eyebrows slope being felt on Sal's forehead as you clench around him.

"Fuuuuck, Sal" you're whimpering his name, arms wrapped around his neck as you look at him. "You feel so fuckin' good, baby."

He swallows thickly, reaching to push your hair away from your face as he gazes up.

"I love you, so fuckin' much. I love you, Sal," you're determined to make him turn into nothing but mush. He's certain of it. His insides felt like a field of flowers, all blooming at once, even if it didn't sense at all. There's an airy moan that escapes him as you squeeze your inner thighs, your hips move forward and Sal grips you like he's afraid you're just a figment of his imagination.

"I know, baby," he whispers back. "I love you, more than you can imagine."

A dopey grin appears on your face. "You think you can show me how much you love me, handsome?" He smiles and your heart feels like it's going to stop.

"I can do more than show you, pretty boy."

He turns you over on your side, not once pulling out. You hastily grab some couch pillows for the both of you before your descent onto the floor. It's cold but that's all the more reason to hold onto each other.

Once your head is on a pillow and you're on your back again, he drapes over you.

Another kiss. Another mischievous nibble. A sly dance of tongues.

Sal is pulling out, the drag of his dick makes you whimper, and thrusts back home. The action has your nails leaving welts on his back but it just reinvigorates him.

He's splitting you open and filling you up. Every thrust makes you see stars. You're unwilling to let him go if the legs wrapped around his waist are saying anything.

But Sal is growing flustered the more praises you tell him.

"That's it, baby. Fuck this pussy, this pussy's just for you."

"Fuck, you look so good, baby. On top of me, fucking me, shit — !"

"Oh, God, your cock is — yeah, right there! — you're in so deep, Sal -Ah!"

You're so fucking filthy.

He wants to hide his face in your neck but he doesn't wanna take his eyes off you. Eyes trailing where his lips and teeth had been, eyeing the sheen of sweat on you and your messed up hair.

The shower you just took had been in vain, huh?

"Fuh - fuck, I'm close," he warns, bracing himself on his elbows as he hovers above you.

"Yeah? Me — mff! — too. Cum inside, baby. Need to feel you — fuuuuck — dripping outta' me," he chuckles breathlessly at your words.

His hips are stuttering and he can see the way your brows are furrowing, angelic moan after angelic moan being knocked out of you. He gives your cock a rub and the way your back arches off the floor makes him hold his own orgasm back just so he can see you like this as clearly as he can take it in.

"Sal, oh fuck, baby!"

"I've got you, (Y/N)."

He chokes out a groan as he feels you clamping down on him, your cunt gripping onto him like it never wants him to let go. You gasp as he snatches your breath, messily making out with him as the aftershocks of your orgasm are barrelled through thanks to Sal's deep thrusts.

"Shit, shit, shit," you smile as he begins to lose his rhythm. Ignoring how sensitive your boypussy feels as he chases his end. "C'mon, baby, fill me up. Yeah, that's it."

He cums with one final thrust. The warmth of it floods your insides, earning pleasant shivers from you as you moan out his name. He's riding his orgasm out, pushing in and out of you shallowly as he catches his breath above you.

"Jesus, fuck..." You giggle at his words, chest rising and falling in rapid motions as your heart tries to calm down.

"That was, Christ, that was — " "Fucking amazing?"

He nods, falling on top of you as carefully as he can. You embrace him, humming as he kisses your neck while you rub his back. The both of you catch your breath, satisfied expressions etched on your faces.

When Sal moves, your eyes are already closed. He pulls out and you whimper at the loss, ignoring the way he stares at his own jizz dripping out of your cunt in favor of gazing at his face.

"We gotta take a shower all over again," he says, helping you sit up and accepting the hug you give him when you're righted.

"...Wanna do it all over again in the shower?" Your question earns a throaty chuckle. "Thought it was implied in my statement."

Another beat of comfortable silence is shared. Sal sighs, nuzzling his face into your neck.

"Thank you, (Y/N)."

"I've got you, Sal."

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