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banzaitaka · 3 months

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Don‘t lie.

You‘ve written this in bold font in your mental guidebook. It was filled with rules and routines you learned were essential when living with Feitan and you hoped you would still remember the next day. With how much you started to dissociate and started to forget more and more little things, it truly was a concern for you.

‘‘Don‘t lie‘‘. You were sure that was one of the very first rules you noted. From the very day he took you. He made sure to make it very clear that lying would do nothing to save you, instead landing you a VIP seat in the basement. You‘ve seen it before, way too often actually. That gory, gory basement. It was the highlight of your nightly nightmares, as you always feard you‘d end up down there for reasons other than doing the laundry.

Now that you thought about it, you wondered why you still thought a lie to be a good choice. You knew he can tell when you are not truthful. That should naturally lead to you always to tell the truth, right? If only. You remembered the last time you told him your true thoughts right to his face. At the end of it, you had the corners of your mouth stitched up into a wide, painfully wide, smile. “No, I am NOT happy. How can anything you‘ve done to me make me feel any type of joy?!“ He seemed to see that as a challenge. You remembered having the black threat tightly secured in your flesh for weeks, until you finally figured out how to make him take them out. Simply smile at him. (More like crinkle your eyes a bit to seem a little more genuine.)

You still had bruises where the threat was laying and digging into your skin weeks later.

Lying didn‘t do good. Being truthful didn‘t do good. What else was left?

Yandere themes

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Feitan Portor x gn! reader

Response

"You slept well?"

A question that should be relatively easy to answer. Even if one would consider the quality of their slumber to be hard to put into words, or determine if it was a positive experience or not, that question shouldn’t leave someone with a tight throat. Locking eyes with your captor for a second, you pondered about how you should answer. Answering truthfully, as if it wasn’t the cold-hearted man who kidnapped you that was standing in front of you, and instead someone you’d deem close to you like a friend, actually was pretty easy; No, you slept horribly. Insomnia already had been in your life for a while, but this was getting on a new level.

Your heart was always beating so hard you could feel it all across your body. Every little sound made you flinch. And the blinking, red light of the camera in the upper corner of the room had you frozen, scared to move. Under these circumstances (and more) it was obviously hard to relax, which is why you only ever were able to fall asleep when you were absolutely exhausted and could barely keep your eyes open. (Unless Feitan felt generous enough to drug your drink with sleep medicine) Still, you rarely fell into a deep slumber. And instead your situation plagued you even further in dreamland. What you had hoped could be an escape from the “love“ of your captor revealed itself as something just as horrific, maybe even more so.

On good nights, your nightmares simply replayed some scenarios you felt uncomfortable in, on bad nights, they replayed scenes you prayed to only witness in fiction. And on the worst nights, your fears of what else could happen, no matter how silly the thought was, welcome themselves in as well. You started cursing out that part of your brain that was responsible for the images of your inner eyes for it being just as much of a sadist as the one demanding you to call him your lover.

Lover.

It was clear to you that Feitan‘s attraction to you was more obsession than anything more innocent and pure like “love“. You dared to utter those thoughts to him only once before. The way his eyes wrinkled with joy at your words made you regret your words instantly, you couldn‘t even begin to guess why he was smiling befind the big collar. Was he amused by your guts to dare say such a thing to his face? Was he content with the word you used to describe his feelings towards you? Was he imagining your face twisting in pain as he punished you for your boldness? It never came clear to you, and that‘s why you went back to walking on egg shells around the man, more on your toes than ever. Oh, how you wished you could read him better, or he would reveal more of his wants, you believed it would make your life- no, this wasn‘t a life- your stay much easier. And maybe a good rest, with nothing but an endless void of nothingness in your mind, would find its way to you. A fantasy like this was all the hope you could get, so you took it, wholeheartedly.

Feitan raised a brow at your hesitation. This was a simple ‘yes‘ or ‘no‘ question, answering shouldn’t take so long even if you were an idiot sometimes. He was not oblivious to the war going on inside your head wether you should speak the truth or not. That was exactly the reason why he thought you were an idiot. The hand sliding over your waist had you snapping out of your thoughts and your gaze back to the black-haired laying next to you on the bed. The soft circles of his thumb over your exposed skin was a huge contrast to the cuts and bruises he gifted you before. So much of a clear contrast that you got the feeling he was urging you into choosing one answer over the other. A hint of how you could make the day into a good one for yourself. A hint of what he wanted.

You took it, clutching the shimmer of hope in your hand as you sighed, “Yeah, I slept real good.“, your smile was small, but present. You even made sure to wrinkle your eyes just a tiny bit to make it look real. And you really hoped that would be enough happiness, even if it was faux, to satisfy him and his sick, twisted views. His lips closed into a straight line, face free from his seemingly constant frown, and you cheered for yourself in victory. You allowed him to pull you closer to him. If this is what you had to endure to have one good day, then so be it. You sighed again, this time with a real, relieved smile, snuggling closer to your ‘lover‘ to make him think you really meant it, just so you can relax for once. The hand that didn‘t rest on your waist crawled up into your hair, fingers combing through your locks. Okay, maybe putting your hand on his chest is a good way to respond.

One harsh tug on your hair destroyed all the hope you had, and you couldn‘t help but gasp in shock. With your hair in his tight grip, he angled your head so you‘d be looking at him. There it was, the frown. But! But didn‘t you respond the way he wanted? He was always the one who wanted to pretend what was going on in this house was okay, and saying otherwise was just asking for punishment. So why-

“You lying.“, oh, “I watched you sleep. Could barely relax your face.“, a smile edged on his face, “Now, what do liars deserve?“

#adding onto this bit by bit #x reader #x gn reader #hxh x gn reader #hxh #hxh x reader #feitan portor x gn reader #feitan porter x reader #feitan portor #feitan #feitan x reader

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banzaitaka · 3 months

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Is it you, or your lover?

An arrangement of questions focusing on your relationship, asking which one of you has the particular habit.

Characters: Atsushi Nakajima, Doppo Kunikida, Jun‘ichiro Tanizaki, Osamu Dazai, Ranpo Edogawa, Yukichi Fukuzawa

No pronouns, gendered terms or description of body used for reader.

Bungou Stray Dogs_Masterlist

Atsushi Nakajima

Who is the cuddliest? -> You are. Atsushi is not used to physical affection, and is hesitant to initiate it. When ARE you supposed to initiate? How do you know the other person is fine with it? It‘s a mystery to him. You bet he will get flustered when you snuggle up to him, soon melting into your touch. He loves it, so please don‘t stop.

Who makes the bed? -> He does. After living on the street for weeks, he really appreciates everything he has. From the roof over his head, to the clean socks on his feet. So naturally he takes good care of them, which includes making the bed every morning.

Who wakes up first? -> He does. Even if you‘re an early riser or need to be somewhere early in the morning, Atsushi tends to be awake before you. You often wake up to the smell of food, and the sight of your boyfriend in an apron, wishing you a good morning with a tired, yet sweet, smile.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. Atsushi doesn‘t typically listen to music much, but when he does he picks some random songs he discovered through the radio. It‘s a mix of the newest hits and the oldest songs known to man, simply because those are the only ones he knows.

Who is more protective? -> You are. Atsushi is more confused or concerned than protective, unless it‘s obvious danger. In the heat of battle, he makes sure there is not a scratch on you. Otherwise, he is very chill. It is you who steps up more and sends a glare to people, or objects for that matter, that might harm or inconvenience him.

Who sings more in the shower? -> You do. His showers are as quiet as can be. It‘s his time to wash away the tension in his muscles that had built up over the day. His showers take up to 10 minutes at most, too. Atsushi loves listening to your little shower concerts, though. Every sign of you enjoying yourself is a reason for him to smile.

Who cries more during movies? -> He does. Atsushi gets emotionally invested in characters quickly. Wether it‘s sad, happy, or scary, he feels with the characters. Especially to those mistreated by others, or those who remind him of the people close to him.

Who spends the most while out shopping? -> You do. Money is very valuable in this economy. Thus, Atsushi doesn‘t spend much on things that aren‘t the essentials. He spends the least money on clothes, and the most money on food. When he accompanies you when you go shopping, he might tear up at the bill. It‘s you paying, but it still hurts to see. So long as you budget well, he is not concerned in the end.

Who kisses more roughly? -> You do. He‘s never been in a relationship before and had yet to experience his first kiss before you two got together. You lead the kisses, and he is happy to follow, mirroring your movements to the best of his ability, careful not to hurt you.

»»----------►

Doppo Kunikida

Who is the cuddliest? -> You are. Doppo isn‘t big on physical affection. While he appreciates recieving it, he himself prefers showing his love through acts of service. He tends to leave a few minutes of room in his schedule, in case you feel like cuddling.

Who makes the bed? -> He does. Doppo is a very organized and clean man. Making the bed is a part of his daily routine, and he will NOT skip it. He does expect you to help though. You slept in that bed too, so it is only right for you to take care of your side.

Who wakes up first? -> He does. He is an early-riser through and through. By the time you wake up, he most likely already got himself ready. You better get up early if you want to see his hair loose and disheveled. Doppo would gladly wake you up when he does if you ask him to, so long as you don‘t tell him the real reason.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. Weird based on modern standards, that is. Despite being only 22 years old, Doppo appreciates the old classics. Some of which you don‘t even recognize. Sometimes you catch him listen to unidentifiable sounds…The amount of times Osamu has tricked him into listening to “this amazing, economy critical song“ is hilarious. Doppo doesn‘t seem to learn.

Who is more protective? -> He is. Doppo keeps an eye on you whenever he can. Keeping you safe is one of his jobs as your lover. And that counts twice with the kinds of people he has to keep up with on a daily basis. Everyday he does his best to protect you from their influence.

Who sings more in the shower? -> You do. As much as it saddens me to say this, but he doesn‘t sing. Much less in the shower. He only does the stuff he got into the shower for, gets out and is done with it. You can sing if you want, but don‘t let it distract you.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. It takes a lot for him to cry over fiction, it would have to hit very close to heart for him to tear up. He‘s not one to judge others for crying at a movie, though.

Who spends the most while out shopping? -> You do. Doppo is an experienced coupon-guy. He always makes sure he finds the stuff he needs at the lowest price without the quality being effected. And he also only buys the items on his list, nothing else. There is a strict budget he set, and he will not go over it even slightly.

Who kisses more roughly? -> He does. Sometimes Doppo doesn‘t even notice it when you two kiss. The feeling of your lips numbs that certain part of his brain, and causes him to act more according to his feelings and desires, and less logically and calculated. That can result in him getting a little rough with his kisses. It‘s not a bad thing, though. His kisses are amazing.

»»----------►

Jun’ichiro Tanizaki

Who is the cuddliest? -> You are. Jun’ichiro is very low-key when showing his affection, and prefers to do it with words of affirmations or small, thoughtful gestures. He's more used to being clung to than the other way around.

Who makes the bed? -> He does. The last one to leave the bed makes the bed. You two use that as motivation to get up, and he ends up doing it the most. He is very groggy and grumpy in the morning. As responsible as he is, the first half hour of being awake is filled with grumbling and "I don’t wanna"s.

Who wakes up first? -> You do. Wether you actually have to get up early or not, his alarm for work wakes you. And more effectively than it does Jun'ichiro. So even if it’s not by a lot, you are the first with your eyes open.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> You do. Jun’ichiro has real good music taste by modern standards. He already made you a ton of playlists for different occasions and moods. You rarely don’t listen to one of those playlists anymore.

Who is more protective? -> He is. You and Naomi are his entire world. The smallest insult towards you has his eyebrow twitching. He's going berserk if you’re being harassed or threatened in any way. And you know he'll keep you safe. Always.

Who sings more in the shower? -> He does. And it’s really cute. It’s more a mumbling and humming, you wouldn’t be able to understand a word even if you listened closely. He just likes to fill the void with a little melody.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. Jun’ichiro isn’t emotional enough to cry over fiction easily. He's more focused on the story and the world- and character building, anyway. Sometimes it needs a little heartbreak to tell a good story. That doesn’t mean he isn’t a little sad, because he is.

Who spends the most while out shopping? -> He does. Jun’ichiro himself doesn’t need much material possessions to be happy, but he sure loves spoiling you. Be it little trinkets, something that made him think of you, snacks he knows you like,… Imagining your face lighting up with joy is motivation enough to get any of those for you. It can be any and every day too, getting you a little gift doesn’t have to be connected to a special day.

Who kisses more roughly? -> You do. He is the opposite of rough. Sometimes he even asks you to calm down a little. Poor guy is overwhelmed and needs a breather. If you give him a little time to prepare, he will gladly indulge your wilder side.

»»----------►

Osamu Dazai

Who is the cuddliest? -> He is. Osamu has been deprived for so long, he says he has the right to sprawl over you whenever he wants. While it seems like his usual shenanigans, in actuality he wants to savor every touch, feel your warmth as often and as long as he possibly can. You are the holder of his heart, he loves you. A day without having his arms around you for even just a second is a tragic one indeed.

Who makes the bed? -> You do. He doesn‘t see the point of making the bed. Your shared bedroom isn‘t some kind of hotel that must look tidy for the next people. It is your space, and he personally doesn‘t mind it looking a little messy. The two of you push and pull the pillows and blanket to your liking in the evening anyway.

Who wakes up first? -> He does. Osamu typically doesn‘t sleep much. Lounge around and take a nap or two, yes, but he does that at the office. Gazing at your sleeping face in the morning is his caffeine for the day, and he can‘t get that when you‘re first to wake up, right? Also, waking you up comes with a bunch of fun possibilities. Most of which are only fun for him, not you.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. Most people would think it‘s weird, anyway. His favorites are about the feeling of depression, being overwhelmed, burnt out, mourning. Sometimes it‘s nice to have your feelings put into words for you. Among those are a few fun ones sprinkled in. Some old classics too. If you scroll through his playlist, you might see something like this: Numb Little Bug(Em Beihold), Body(MotherMother), CPR x Misery(Remix), Memories(Maroon 5)-

Who is more protective? -> He is. Wether it‘s a real danger or something minor, like a bypass insult, he‘s got you. Just don‘t worry, he‘s going to take care of this. You will never see him angry during those situations. The last thing he wants is for you to worry, so he masks any worry with his usual goofy and sassy behavior. That is a rare accurance either way, Osamu makes sure you don‘t even get in that type of situation in the first place.

Who sings more in the shower? -> He does. Shower time is a time to relax, and a time to relax is a time to sing. Simple as that. He sings loud enough to hear himself properly over the rushing water, which is decently loud. You can hear this first-class concert from nearly everwhere within your home.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. Osamu has seen things far worse than whatever is playing on the TV. So unless it‘s something that triggers real heart shattering memories, he is not going to cry. And even then, it‘s a single tear. You won‘t be able to notice. When it‘s you tearing up, he is quick to pull you against him and stroke your head. He shushes you gently as he comforts you like someone would a baby. It is all for fun, of course. And he wouldn‘t feel hurt if you started hitting him for being an ass. In fact, he‘d chuckle.

Who spends the most while out shopping? -> You do. Osamu is not above letting you spend your money on things he was supposed to pay for. Oops- It seems like he lost his wallet while drifting across the river, again. He does have some errands to run though! You wouldn‘t mind paying, right? He promises to repay you one way or another!

Who kisses more roughly? -> He does. The roughness comes with the playfulness he loves to kiss you with. Doesn‘t mean he doesn‘t love the way you seem to shiver when he gets a little more rough with his kissing. Because, oh boy, does he love it. Besides being playful, he also likes being flirty and pull all those cute reactions out of you. If you try to do the same to him, then the fight is on. He might let you win, but only because he loves you so much.

»»----------►

Ranpo Edogawa

Who is the cuddliest? -> He is. Ranpo is a clingy little gremlin. Munching on snacks while cuddled up to you in your lap is his favorite way to pass the time, for sure. You‘re so warm and soft and have just the right size for him. It‘s wise to plan ahead, since he will not let you go any time soon. Ranpo would get real whiny and pouty if you even try. Don‘t worry though! He‘s going to share his snacks with you if you ask nicely.

Who makes the bed? -> You do. He couldn‘t care less if the bed is made or not. You‘re very happy it‘s free of crumbs and wrappers at least.

Who wakes up first? -> You do. Cuddling makes him all drowsy, and of course cuddling you is what he does when sleeping with you. From when you fall asleep to when you wake up, he has his arms wrapped around your torso and his head either on your chest or in the crook of your neck. It would take a lot of willpower to get himself to leave the comfort you provide him so early in the day. Luckily, he isn‘t heavy, so it’s fairly easy for you to get out of bed once you manage to sit up.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. Ranpo listens to everything that gives him a happy feel. From Baby Shark to Starship, so long as it‘s got a good vibe, it‘s in his playlist.

Who is more protective? -> You are. He simply knows too much, there is no need to be protective. He is really chill. It‘s you who tends to act like a bodyguard, you have to, because Ranpo keeps getting into risky situations. He himself deducts he‘s safe, but you don‘t know that. He sure isn‘t safe from your fist after every risky endeavor you save him from.

Who sings more in the shower? -> You do. Bold of you to assume he showers. It‘s baths all the way. With bubbles and rubber ducks. Ranpo begs you to either join him or at least talk to him through the open bathroom door, otherwise he gets bored before he even washes himself. He is also the type to make fun of those who sing under the shower, so watch out.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. Ranpo has figured out the plot in mere minutes, nothing can surprise him and nothing can shake him up enough to make him cry. And while he isn‘t mean about people crying at fiction, he doesn‘t really understand it either. You do realize this isn‘t real, right? Of course you do, but still! Watching movies with him is a real mood-killer. I suggest Comedies.

Who spends more while out shopping? -> He does. The amount of snacks he consumes daily ought to bring a heavy bill. Sometimes you wonder how he can even afford it. It really is a good thing he is so good at his job, and thus have a steady income to support his little addiction.

Who kisses more roughly? -> You do. Ranpo is nothing but soft with you. Even when he gets playful, his kisses stay soft, smooching you all over your face until he gets his fill. When you go more rough on him, he turns into a puddle, face bright red from the feeling. Nothing beats the taste of your lips, and it shows.

»»----------►

Yukichi Fukuzawa

Who is the cuddliest? -> You are. Physical affection is not his choice of love language. So long as you are within the comfort of your home, he doesn‘t have any problems, even if you get real clingy. Yukichi thinks you‘re really cute like this, but he doesn‘t want others to see.

Who makes the bed? -> He does. You two have found a good way to split daily tasks equally. While you make breakfast, he makes the bed. There is no complaining. And if you‘d like to switch it up, he‘ll gladly do so. It doesn‘t matter to him, if you aren‘t good at making a bed. Yukichi just hopes the food he makes is to your liking.

Who wakes up first? -> He does. Yukichi wakes up real early to get some morning practice in, as he doesn‘t have the time to do so at any other point of the day. He is way too busy with paperwork for that. Every morning he makes sure not to wake you while he gets out of bed and out to your backyard. After he‘s done and took a quick shower, he comes back and gently wakes you.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. He is into traditional music, which might be considered weird by most. His knowledge of more modern music is very limited, as he doesn‘t normally consider looking them up. You are free to introduce him to your favorites, though. Music can be a way to express someones thoughts and feelings, thus it can tell a lot about you. And what kind of lover would he be to disregard you expressing something as valuable as that?

Who is more protective? -> He is. Yukichi wants you to be safe, always. He‘s taught you many ways to protect yourself when he‘s not there to do it for you. And when you two are together, you can consider him as your scary dog privilege. Because even though he doesn‘t look scary at a glance, he is very tall and muscular, and can send a nasty death glare if he wanted to. There is no way someone would dare to try anything while he is around. And if there was, he is quick to pull you behind him and deal with the situation swiftly. The sooner this is over, the sooner you are safe.

Who sings more in the shower? -> You do. You will never catch this man sing. Not ever. He‘s simply too embarrassed to do so. Humming is another story, but that is reserved for quiet times on your porch while looking at the stars. Yukichi likes listening to you sing under the shower, it‘s very sweet to him, how you are comfortable to risk him hear the echo of your voice.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. Yukichi does get emotionally invested in characters, he simply doesn‘t cry. It takes a lot to get him there. When he notices you tearing up, he places a hand on your knee and draws little patterns on it.

Who spends more while out shopping? -> He does. Yukichi has everything he could ever want, so besides essentials, he rarely buys anything that peeks his interest. The occasional gift doesn‘t leave a huge dent on his wallet, but the moment he is set on spoiling you during a shopping trip, he will not hesitate. He could wait for hours on end for you to pick up and try on clothes, fill the shopping cart with snacks, toys, crafting materials,…anything you like. He knows it‘s not a waste of money when it‘s spent on you.

Who kisses more roughly? -> You do. Yukichi prefers going for your preferences when kissing, so he let‘s you take the lead unless you ask for him to do it. His touch is so soft, you‘d think he‘s scared to break you if he isn‘t careful. You‘re his little angel, and he will make sure you feel it.

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