#do not afraid

[gniteruirui]

intimidating

Chlorenw-

#ask #do not afraid #I got some candies

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[insertdisc5]

🎮 HEY I WANNA MAKE A GAME! 🎮

Yeah I getcha. I was once like you. Pure and naive. Great news. I AM STILL PURE AND NAIVE, GAME DEV IS FUN! But where to start?

To start, here are a couple of entry level softwares you can use! source: I just made a game called In Stars and Time and people are asking me how to start making vidy gaems. Now, without further ado:

SOFTWARES AND ENGINES FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO CODE!!!

Ren'py (and also a link to it if you click here do it): THE visual novel software. Comic artists, look no further ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It has great documentation! It has a bunch of plugins and UI stuff and assets for you to buy! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) You can also port your game to a BUNCH of consoles! ✨Cons: None really <3 Some games to look at: Doki Doki Literature Club, Bad End Theater, Butterfly Soup

Twine: Great for text-based games! GREAT FOR WRITERS WHO DONT WANNA DRAW!!!!!!!!! (but you can draw if you want) ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's versatile! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! (You'll just need to read the doc a bunch) ✨Cons: You can add pictures, but it's a pain. Some games to look at: The Uncle Who Works For Nintendo, Queers In love At The End of The World, Escape Velocity

Bitsy: Little topdown games! ✨Pros: It's free! It's simple! It's (somewhat) intuitive! It has great documentation! It can be used even if you have LITERALLY no programming experience! You can make everything in it, from text to sprites to code! Those games sure are small! ✨Cons: Those games sure are small. This is to make THE simplest game. Barely any animation for your sprites, can barely fit a line of text in there. But honestly, the restrictions are refreshing! Some games to look at: honestly I haven't played that many bitsy games because i am a fake gamer. The picture above is from Under A Star Called Sun though and that looks so pretty

RPGMaker: To make RPGs! LIKE ME!!!!! NOTE: I recommend getting the latest version if you can, but all have their pros and cons. You can get a better idea by looking at this post. ✨Pros: Literally everything you need to make an RPG. Has a tutorial inside the software itself that will teach you the basics. Pretty simple to understand, even if you have no coding experience! Also I made a post helping you out with RPGMaker right here! ✨Cons: Some stuff can be hard to figure out. Also, the latest version is expensive. Get it on sale! Some games to look at: Yume Nikki, Hylics, In Stars and Time (hehe. I made it)

engine.lol: collage worlds! it is relatively new so I don't know much about it, but it seems fascinating. picture is from Garden! NOTE: There's a bunch of smaller engines to find out there. Just yesterday I found out there's an Idle Game Maker made by the Cookie Clicker creator. Isn't life wonderful?

✨more advice under the cut. this is Long ok✨

ENGINES I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT AND THEY SEEM HARD BUT ALSO GIVE IT A TRY I GUESS!!!! :

Unity and Unreal: I don't know anything about those! That looks hard to learn! But indie devs use them! It seems expensive! Follow your dreams though! Don't ask me how!

GameMaker: Wuh I just don't know anything about it either! I just know it's now free if your game is non-commercial (aka, you're not selling it), and Undertale was made on it! It seems good! You probably need some coding experience though!!!

Godot: Man I know even less about this one. Heard good things though!

BUNCHA RANDOM ADVICE!!!!

-Make something small first! Try making simple: a character is in a room, and exits the room. The character can look around, decide to take an item with them, can leave, and maybe the door is locked and you have to find the key. Figuring out how to code something like that, whether it is as a fully text-based game or as an RPGMaker map, should be a good start to figure out how your software of choice works!

-After that, if you have an idea, try first to make the simplest version of that idea. For my timeloop RPG, my simplest version was two rooms: first room you can walk in, second room with the King, where a cutscene automatically plays and the battle starts, you immediately die, and loop back to the first room, with the text from this point on reflecting this change. I think I also added a loop counter. This helped me figure out the most important thing: Can This Game Be Made? After that, the rest is just fun stuff. So if you want to make a dating sim, try and figure out how to add choices, and how to have affection points go up and down depending on your choices! If you want to make a platformer, figure out how to make your character move and jump and how to create a simple level! If you just want to make a kinetic visual novel with no choices, figure out how to add text, and how to add portraits! You'll be surprised at how powerful you'll feel after having figured even those simple things out.

-If you have a programming problem or just get confused, never underestimate the power of asking Google! You most likely won't be the only person asking this question, and you will learn some useful tips! If you are powerful enough, you can even… Ask people??? On forums??? Not me though.

-Yeah I know you probably want to make Your Big Idea RIGHT NOW but please. Make a smaller prototype first. You need to get that experience. Trust me.

-If you are not a womanthing of many skills like me, you might realize you need help. Maybe you need an artist, or a programmer. So! Game jams on itch.io are a great way to get to work and meet other game devs that have different strengths! Or ask around! Maybe your artist friend secretly always wanted to draw for a game. Ask! Collaborate! Have fun!!!

I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye

#reference #gamedev #indie dev #game dev #tutorial #video game #ACTUAL GAME DEVS DO NOT INTERACT!!!1!!!!! #this is for people who are afraid of coding. do not come at me and say 'actually godot is easy if you just--' I JUST WILL NOT. #long post

[inkskinned]

hey btw if you're in the USA at  2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!" #to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid'' #like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that. #you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time. #dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem. #these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly. #they arent meant to be fun and exciting. #OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off. #but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was. #i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill. #the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT. #like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

[the-trans-advice-blog]

If you are a person who hates men because they are men not only are you inherently alienating anyone queer person who identifies as a man but you are failing to hold the actual horrible men accountable for their actions.

Being a creep, a predator, a pervert, etc. is not inherent to being a man and thinking/saying that removes any sense of responsibility from the actual disgusting men who exist.

Call out the individuals so they can face the consequences of their actions, don’t just shrug it off as “well that’s how men are because they’re all terrible”. “

All men are evil” is just a round about way of saying “boys will be boys” and although both statements have different intentions they remove all accountability from those who deserve it.

And do not ever expect any trans man to change themself because you associate masculinity and manliness with being a predator. Love your trans brothers and embrace them as men or you don’t have the right to call yourself queer.

#it’s normal to be afraid of men #but do lot treat all men as if they are predators without second thought #you can be cautious you can be untrusting you can be scared of any man #but you do not have the right to say that every man is as bad as the actual predators out there #trans men I love you #transmasc I love you #marshal talks #transgender #trans #transmasc #ftm #lgbt #trans guy #ftm trans #queer

[mobius-m-mobius]

I think there’s one or two who will.

#mobius #loki #lokius #mcuedit #lokiedit #marveledit #loki spoilers #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #SCREAMING INTO THE VOID #oh i'm never recovering from them i fear #do i think every action of loki's was shaped and inspired with love for mobius in mind? yes absolutely #will i lose it all if someone doesn't take mobius gently in their arms to tell him how important and beloved he is? even more so i'm afraid #loki s2 spoilers #marvel #owenwilsonedit #dianagifs

[blushnik]

is younger generation on Tumblr not aware of the difference between “repost” and “reblog”?

Guys, hitting that arrow-arrow thingy button so it’s shared to your dashboard is VERY MUCH APPRECIATED, THIS IS CALLED REBLOG (like retweet)

Something totally different than downloading art and posting (reposting) it as your own sdkjsjada PLEASE REBLOG ART, IT SHOWS LOVE! EDIT: Since this post is somehow picking up, let me clear some confusion! When you REBLOG (hit those two arrows following each other), the post appears on your blog but all the comments and likes and whatever it receives – the AUTHOR RECEIVES TOO. Tumblr doesn’t let you repost someone’s stuff (post as your own) unless you take the effort to download it and post it YOURSELF (you know, like a dick).

EVERY. INTERACTION. IS. TIED. TO. THE. AUTHOR✌️

REBLOGGING means showing off the amazing thing you’ve found while literally sending all the traffic towards whoever made that post. So in short, NOBODY CARES YOU LIKED SOMETHING, WANNA SHOW LOVE?

PS: Fuck “X” for confusing y’all but if you are on the former Twitter and not call it “retweet” anymore just cause the stinkyman said so, then goodbye, we’re done talkin’

#psa #i get so many comments where people are afraid to reblog because it says do not repost #REPOST ISNT REBLOG #REBLOG ISNT REPOST #guys 😭🙏💙

[samipekoe]

drew a beautiful furry today

#commission #isnt she sooo gongeous. her markings were fun to do #whenever I get commissioned furries im afraid i cant make a cute enough snout #but she turned out Good

[hansoeii]

it’s okay, babygirl.

#who's gonna pay my therapy bills #this show ruins me over and over again every week why am i even doing this to myself #but ahhhh joel loves her so much!!!! #thats his kid!!!! #and he was so afraid of caring for her but he can't hide it any longer #UGH #the last of us #the last of us fanart #tlou hbo #tlou fanart #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #joel and ellie #my art

[egophiliac]

starting off with an amuse-bouche of some of my initial favorite bits! y'all, this update was WILD.

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #we really got it all in this update huh #we got flashbacks! backstory! shocking twists! cgs?! #we got the silver breakdown to end all silver breakdowns #the boy does not emote for 6 episodes straight and now it's POURING out and i am shoving my face directly into it #not to mention my favorite: action scenes represented by intensely wiggling the sprites around #and OF COURSE meleanor my beloved. your highness. ma'am. holy shit. #i guess it's mel instead of mal? hey she can spell her name however she wants #meleanor can do whatever she wants about anything. who is going to stop her. #meleanor: hold on baby. mommy wants to make a point. (yeets malleus' egg across the room into liia's face) #man though i am so afraid that crowley really might turn out to have been revaan this whole time #because this means we live in a world where dire fucking crowley managed to pull BOTH meleanor and lilia and i cannot accept that #briar valley are you okay. is it something in the water. #mrs. zigvolt took all the good taste and left none for anyone else

[moonlit-femme]

Having them bend me over and thrust into me so roughly that I stop thinking for a moment. They slowly move their hips faster and faster until nothing can be heard but grunts from them and my muted cries and moans as I’m being pounded into a mattress. Slowly becoming addicted to this feral and primal fucking that changed you on a fundamental level. Eyes rolling back and gripping hard at whatever is underneath you. Unable for form full sentences and only being able to say one phrase over and over again… “Breed me… breed me breed me breed me breed me breed me breed me breed me breed me….”

#So much fun being a lesbian with a breeding kink while also being afraid of getting pregnant #breeding k1nk #bd/sm breeding #moonlit femme #sapphic nsft #lesbian #sapphic #wlw nsft #queer nsft #wlw ns/fw #queer ns/fw #wlw #wlw smut #How often do you think about this one P?

[crystallizsch]

sigh i had an epiphany

book 4 is just a whole ass scooby doo episode huh

#there’s even FIVE of them #no i am unable to elaborate further #im afraid if i do i cant go back #so this is for the ones who’ll get it maybe ;;; #also i’m never gonna be over the fact that jamil MIGHT have gotten away with it if he left the prefect alone #jamil my beloved you got too overzealous #[— #twst #twisted wonderland #twst art #jamil viper #azul ashengrotto #jade leech #floyd leech #twst grim #twst yuu #★'-my-art #(💜) yuusha #—]

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

#selfie bee #hello friends!! how are you doing!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ #I'm very very tired today #I woke up very early today because I took a driving lesson! #I have had my licence for many many years now but I haven't driven in so long #and when I tried I just turned on the windshield wipers again and again #so I'm taking some refreshment lessons! I was really afraid of driving again but my new driving teacher is very nice (❁´‿`❁) #my last one scared me a little because he talked a lot about bathroom renovation #I just drove for an hour or so but I was so concentrated that I'm very tired now #I have another lesson tomorrow because I deleted every information in my brain about how to park a car #all those synapses are currently used to remember Godzilla facts #another big news!! #I saw a PHEASANT last week #we almost hit it with the car but luckly it remembered in time that it was a bird and flew away #I've NEVER seen a pheasant before!! ( ´ ▽ ` ) #I knew that pheasants were real because my favourite cartoon as a child was animals of farthing wood #and there's pheasants in it and then they get murdered and all the other animals are like 'oh well' #but I had never seen one! #I feel like a stronger person now #one that can drive a car #maybe even park one ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ #have a wonderful evening friends #<3

[pankomako]

if this post gets 2000 notes i'll finally call failboat. yes i have his phone number he gave it to me. pic unrelated

#failboat #like i would text him if he had a fucking iphone like me and most other people but he had to have an android #meanwhile i've been too shy and afraid of catching him while he's busy to call #it's been this way for the past. yknow. 2 years and however many months #so go ahead and force me to do it if you want chat. go riiight on ahead

[ofswordsandpens]

actually I also wanna talk about the part where Percy convinces Bob to kill Hyperion because even though Percy never says anything outright sinister, the way he handles the entire situation with such cool ease, playing on Bob’s emotions... its so insane???

Because Annabeth’s reaction to the three of them encountering Hyperion reforming is: “oh this is bad we need to get out of here” She knows if Bob remembers himself, that it's not going to play out well for Percy and her. She also thinks about how they're being pursued and don't have a lot of time. Her solution to the problem, seemingly, is to leave.

But Percy's solution is to work the situation to his advantage. He re-affirms Bob's loyalty to him:

Percy then re-establishes Bob's moral code: "Some monsters are good. Some are bad. This Titan is bad. He tried to kill me and a lot of people. He's not good like you are."

And it ends with Percy leaving the choice of whatever to do with Hyperion to Bob but of course, is it really what Bob chose to do? Bob decides to kill Hyperion. It's not what he may have done, if Percy hadn't intervened. But it's exactly what Percy was oh-so-sweetly leading Bob to do.

And listen, I'm not claiming that it was exactly morally bankrupt of Percy to take advantage of a once-evil titan who could get him and his girlfriend through hell in one piece. Percy, Annabeth, they manipulate monsters and enemies all the time. Annabeth ended the previous book with manipulating Arachne into weaving her own web. So it's not exactly like she's against using manipulative tactics, in theory.

But Bob, at this point, is not just some monster. He is so painfully sincere in his belief in Percy and their friendship, so yes, it does feel a bit sinister whenever Percy uses Bob... and he really uses Bob.

And I think what makes the scene so unsettling, it isn't just that Percy manipulated Bob, its how well Percy manipulated him. He manipulates Bob so well that Percy doesn't even have to kill Hyperion... because Bob does it for him. He manipulates Bob so well, that Annabeth couldn't tell if Percy was purposefully trying to manipulate the situation. (Newsflash, he most definitely was). Like holy shit.

#percy: friends kill for friends <3 #ITS CHILLING #Riordan allowed Percy to be unhinged for ONE book in hoo and then got to boo and went #/um actually writing the realistic outcome of Percy's turmoil in Tartarus sounds like a lot of work so how bout I dont :)/ #okay wait while I love this scene in hoh the one part I dont like was Annabeth being like: I had no clue Percy could be so cunning #and like girl YES YOU DO #you were there in BOOK 1 when Percy convinced Crusty to lay down in his OWN bed and then decapitated him #I choose to believe she was simply afraid unsettled and in denial lmaoooo #pjo #percy jackson #annabeth chase #mine

[chloesimaginationthings]

What is the relationship between Michael and Gregory like?

I’d say like dysfunctional brothers

#ask reply #I think Gregory finds Michael cool #but also isnt afraid to make fun of him or fight him #Michael on the other hand is a bit more complicated #Michael sees a lot of himself in Gregory #so he’s more blunt with Gregory than say he is with Abby #but even with that he has a need to protect and teach Gregory to keep himself safe #Michael would never consider himself a ‘dad’ #but he is in ways taking up that role #I think if I do more comics with them the more ‘father-son’ dynamic will shine through more #as of now they are same wavelength brothers 💜