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#despite completely deserving to spend the end of her life alone
hwaslayer · 3 months
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project: make you love me (jyh) | sixteen.
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—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.
—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 3.6k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, seonghwa, physical fighting, mingi calling his friend out on his stupidity, crying, sorry if i missed anything.. quickly edited this lol, yunho is just mad and overwhelmed with his feelings rn 😭
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yunho: baby
yunho: wait at the science building later, please? i'll come get you so we can walk to my car together
you: okee ☺️
yunho: ☺️ see you later? enjoy the rest of your classes
you: you too, my bighead!
Yunho smiles at his phone before tucking it away, slowly following Yeosang to their group study session.
"Should I even ask why you're smiling like that?" Yunho looks up at Yeosang and chuckles.
"Just Y/N."
"Of course. Is she in class?"
"Yup. She's in the back row being all distracted."
"Perfect way to pass time in my honest opinion." Yeo clears his throat. "I've been meaning to ask you out of curiosity."
"What's up?"
"Have you guys told each other 'I love you' and everything?" 
"Mm, no. Not yet at least."
"Not yet?" Yeosang smiles. "You feel that way for her, don't you?"
"I do. I just.. I don't know? I don't know if it's too soon. What if I scare her off?"
"Nah, doubt that. You can't put a timer on these things."
"True. Plus, it sounds cliché and like it's out of a movie, but I truly wanna wait 'till it feels right to say it to her."
"That makes sense."
"Trust me, I really do feel that way for her." He lets out a breath as they look towards the library building, the sun from behind slightly blinding them as they approach the doors. "She has literally become my bestfriend. It's crazy how life works."
"I know. I remember when you first told me you were helping her out for literature." Yeosang chuckles. "Or when you'd save her in the back lot."
"Still can't believe that was even real." Yunho does a tiny head tilt. "He's really something."
"What was up with Y/N's birthday thing? How did he even know?"
"I don't know. Word gets around fast. Why wouldn't Seonghwa know? Especially since it has to do with Y/N."
"Can't wait till the day he leaves you two alone. Must be fucking annoying to deal with."
"I try not to mind it. Though, I think he's been getting bolder lately and I can't put my finger on it."
"Has Y/N said anything?" He shakes his head.
"No. Maybe I'm just overthinking. She just seemed a little weird about him at her birthday party."
"Well, yeah. It's Seonghwa." Yeosang waves at their study group sitting at the far end of the library in the loud section.
"Yeah, but, I don't know. It was different. She seemed bothered about something but she hasn't told me anything. I assume it's not a big deal."
"Hm. Well, I'm sure it's not either. Just Seonghwa being himself, maybe."
"Mm, whatever though." Yunho greets the study group as they approach the table. "She's my girlfriend now, and that won't change." Yeosang gives him a small smile before they settle with the group and begin their long study session together.
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"Remember, we have a test next class. Make sure you study everything I included in the study guide. Don't skip on anything just because you think it's a minor detail! Nothing is minor!" Your professor says before dismissing the class. You let out a sigh, already stressing over the next test. You didn't do bad on the first test, but you also didn't do the greatest. Thankfully, you're still at a good point in the semester, which gives you enough time to pull your grade up.
Once the initial rush of people leaving the classroom dies down, you pack up your things and head out the door. You hurry out of the classroom and down the steps, excited to see your boyfriend after yet another long day. For a split second, the building is crowded with other students leaving their classes and heading to their next destination— whether it be the next class, the library or to their cars. It's a sudden swarm of people that you don't even realize Seonghwa had stepped out of his own class, following you down the corridor.
"Y/N." You hear Seonghwa's voice behind you. You try to mind your own business, subtly rolling your eyes as you walk out of the science building to reunite with Yunho. 
Except, he isn't exactly there yet and Seonghwa grabs you by the wrist.
"Y/N." He repeats, turning you to face him.
"What are you doing?" You question him.
"Just a second." You let out a loud, heavy sigh. "Why are you being like this?"
"Like what?"
"Like you ignoring me. You haven't answered any of my texts or calls—"
"Why do I need to?" You raise a brow. "You're not actually serious, right? I have no reason to respond to you, Seonghwa. Don't you have places to be, people to see?" You pause. "Don't you realize you're a little too late? This was something I needed from you way before. I don't need it from you now."
"I know it's late, but I don't wanna give up on this."
"This? This has been done for a long time, you and I both know that. You're only worried about losing the only safety blanket you've ever had. Why can't you just move on and let me be happy?"
"Happy?" Seonghwa almost scoffs. "With him? Okay, baby." He shakes his head. "Listen. Enough of this for real. Can you please just hear me out, I'll explain and apologize properly—"
"Seonghwa, stop calling me that. What don't you understand about no?" You say almost at a whine, his hand still having a grip on the edge of your wrist. You truly don't want to entertain this, but Seonghwa almost gives you no way out, no way around his bullshit, and unfortunately, that'll be the root of everything that unfolds tonight. Yunho is happily [and eagerly] making his way down to you after the long, heavy study group session, while Yeosang decides he's gonna stay behind in order to hit the gym and get his workout in. Yunho is a few minutes late, but he knows you'll still flash him that beautiful, million-watt smile he adores so much before wrapping your arms around him.
He can't wait.
But, Yunho slows in his steps just as he's close to the front doors; familiar voices filling the surprisingly empty, quiet space.  It's you, and he already feels himself boiling with anger when he hears who else is occupying your time right now.
"Why haven't you even said anything about the flowers and the card I gave you? Did you even get them?" Yunho overhears Seonghwa ask you, and he furrows his brows. What flowers and card? You don't answer right away, and Seonghwa is quick to follow up. Yunho doesn't even get to hear your response about it and the most upsetting part of all this— is that this is how he finds out about everything.
Not from you, but from Seonghwa.
"You couldn't even send me a text? I was worried you didn't get it. I wanted to talk to you afterwards."
"What is there to talk about?"
"Yeah, what is there to talk about?" You and Seonghwa turn towards Yunho, who stands there with his hands dug deep into his pockets. His jaw is slightly clenched, head titled to the side while he waits for a response. Seonghwa lets out a pathetic chuckle, hand slipping down your wrist as he fully faces him.
"Loverboy sounds upset over a little talk."
"A little talk? Is that an add-on for the flowers and card you sent her?" Yunho sounds more stern, more angry. You can't even blame him, but at the same time, it's unusual for you to hear him this way. You're not sure what could come out of this and you don't necessarily want to find out.
"I'm sorry, should I have sent you some, too?" Seonghwa steps closer to him and the panic starts to settle in for you. You wish someone, anyone, was around to help. Because although you don't think Yunho will let this blow out of proportion, you aren't 100% about your answer. You're not sure how Yunho manages his anger in these situations and you're not sure what triggers him; what tips him over the edge and is the 'cherry on top.' Seonghwa has always rubbed him the wrong way and you don't think this could end remotely pretty. "I'll take note of that for next time so you don't have to sit there and stare at Y/N's."
How you wish Seonghwa had just gotten the point. Why couldn't he just let you be? Why was he out to ruin your happiness so badly?
"Seonghwa. This is done. Let it go." You warn him, but it doesn't clear anything. You aren't getting through to any of them.
"Back up. I'm not asking." Yunho clenches his jaw as he comes face to face with Seonghwa, making him give off a small scoff.
"Aw. Loverboy's mad—" And that's exactly the tipping point for Yunho. He's not sure why, he usually has a lot of patience. He usually brushes things off easily, doesn't hold a grudge or stay angry for long. But, Seonghwa? He was a different story, especially because of the history you have with him. Every little thing about Seonghwa pisses him off— down to the way he moves, breathes, acts like he can always get his way so easily, so quickly. Before he can even think about the consequences, or how you'd feel, Yunho swings at him, making Seonghwa stumble backwards. 
"Yunho!—" You gasp, Yunho's initial punch is pretty rough that it had Seonghwa in shock before being able to register what just happened.
"Fuck you—" Is all Seonghwa spits out before going at Yunho. The two continue to go at it, pushing and gripping at each other's shirts, rough attempts at landing punches;
They're almost successful with tearing each other's heads off until you step in between and get involved.
"Stop!" You step in between to try and prevent the fight from escalating even more. "Stop it!" You push Seonghwa back when he tries coming for Yunho, a campus security guard dashing towards all of you to completely break up the scuffle.
"Knock it off! The hell are you two doing acting like this on campus? I suggest you two part ways now before we call the cops over!"
"Yo, what the fuck?!" Mingi comes from around the corner, grabbing at Seonghwa's arm to pull him back. "The fuck are you doing, dude?" He looks at his bestfriend in disbelief.
"Why don't you ask your friend who fucking started it—"
"Me?" Yunho spits, while Seonghwa wipes the blood at the corner of his lip. "I wouldn't have had to if you just knew how to back the fuck off!" Yunho is angry, continuing to raise his voice. "Let me catch you sending shit to my girlfriend one more time and see what the fuck I'll do—" 
"Yunho." You say softly, tugging back at his arm.
"Are you serious?" Mingi looks at Seonghwa. "You don't go messing around with people's relationships, Hwa. You need to let this go, you look crazy!" 
"Oh, so all of a sudden you're sticking up for your friend?"
"Yeah, because he is my friend and it's just shit you don't do! What the fuck don't you understand about that?! You fucking deserved that shit!" Mingi shakes his head before pushing Hwa forward, pulling him off to the side to continue talking to him. 
"Babe." You turn to Yunho after Mingi and Seonghwa create good distance, hand coming up to cup Yunho's cheek. But, he turns, slightly shaking his head at you. You pull your hand back and feel your heart drop, the look in Yunho's eyes being one that you've never experienced before.
Sadness, hurt, anger. 
Mostly sadness, hurt.
"What flowers was he talking about, Y/N?" His chest is still rising at a somewhat uneven pace, doing his best to calm down after the adrenaline rush.
"H-he left them at my doorstep after we came back from the snow. I'm really sorry, Yunho, I didn't tell you because I tossed it out and—"
"But still, it's the fact that you didn't tell me after all this time." Yunho's brows are tightly knitted together, and the look causes your heart to sink even deeper. "Why did you have to let me find out this way? Were you going to tell me about this too if I hadn't come right away?"
"I just didn't get around to telling you because I didn't think it would matter— Seonghwa doesn't matter."
"If he didn't, then wouldn't you be able to tell me without questioning it so much?"
"Yunho, no. I'm sorry, no." You repeat, tears pricking your eye lids. "I didn't mean for it to seem like that. I really didn't mean to hide this from you."
"Did you think about keeping them?"
"I—I, no. I thought—" Yunho hears you stuttering and his throat suddenly feels dry. Why can't you just tell him? Even if Seonghwa didn't matter to you, why couldn't you trust him enough to tell him? 
Why couldn't you feel comfortable enough to tell him?
"Be honest with me, Y/N. That's all I've ever asked. Did you or did you not think about it keeping it?" Silence. And god, it is the most gut-wrenching silence Yunho has ever endured.
Yup. Got it. 
The answer is clear.
You did think about Seonghwa. You thought about accepting the flowers as his apology, you thought about the possibility— even if it was for a brief, splitting second. Seonghwa did matter for one fucking second, and that's what bothers him.
"Yunho, please. I just thought—" You can barely get through your sentences.
"Did you, or did you not?"
"I thought about keeping it, but it was so stupid. I was just blinded for a second, and I realized it didn't matter to me. He doesn't matter to me. At all. I promise. Everything just caught me off guard." You try to grab for his hand but he steps back. "Yunho, it was all stupid. I tossed it out so quickly. I wasn't going to do anything, I wasn't going to text, nothing."
"But, why does it feel like after everything he's put you through, you still believe he'd genuinely change? Why does it feel like a part of you is still actually holding onto that?" Well, when Yunho says it to your face like that, you feel dumb. Not once did you ever think about running back to Seonghwa and leaving this behind. But, you were blinded in that quick second from your history with Hwa, being close and sharing moments for months. Asking Seonghwa for little gestures like this, for more attention; even though it was a ride, you still had history.
And yes, maybe at one point you wanted to be the girl that changed him.
But today, you can't even imagine going back to that point. Not after being with Yunho, not after the happiness he's brought you.
Not after you realize how much you genuinely and truly love Yunho. 
You don't wanna lose him.
This is all so stupid, and a huge misunderstanding. But, you're the only person to blame here— if you hadn't given Seonghwa the time of day, if you had just told Yunho right away without second-guessing it, if you hadn't hesitated; you wouldn't be here right now.
"I'm not!" Your tone raises and it sounds like a whine at this point. "I'm not, Yunho. Please."
"Look, tonight was a lot." He sighs, running his hand through his hair before wincing and looking down at his knuckles. "I was excited to see you after a long day, Y/N. I was really looking forward to being with you. I wasn't expecting all of this and honestly, I don't know what's worse? Stumbling upon all of this the way I did, or not knowing at all."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It was stupid and fucked up of me, and I'm sorry." You repeat, tears streaming down your cheeks.
"Maybe you just need to think about what you really want." Yunho shrugs. "I thought you were over the whole thing with Seonghwa, but clearly not if you're still considering on giving him the time of day."
"No, no, Yunho. Please don't. It's not that." You try to lace your hand with his, but he gently brushes it off with a shaky sigh. He doesn't wanna leave you. He never wants to be without you. But, tonight was a lot for him to handle, and it is overwhelming. He hasn't really felt this protective over someone. Of course, it's only natural since you're his girlfriend. He'll always protect you. It's just that Seonghwa brings something out of him that he doesn't necessarily like, and he wants it to be gone for good. It feels unhealthy and icky;
The anger, the frustration, the anxiety.
He hates it. And he doesn't want this to be a thing in your relationship. Plus, he still feels himself fuming with anger and he just can't possibly talk to you while he feels that way.
So yes, he's overwhelmed and he needs to get over this.
"No, seriously. You really should think about it. I know where I stand but I'm not so sure you do." He lets out another disappointed sigh. "I'll take you home, but we should probably just be in our own places tonight."
"Okay." You say close to a whisper, sniffling as you wipe away at your face. You don't even try to fight it anymore simply because you know Yunho needs his space right now. He begins to walk off with you slowly trailing behind, head hung low after everything that happened tonight. Everything happened so fast you're also having to process it all on this walk over to the lot. Suddenly, you're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps picking up behind you, followed by a familiar, deep voice.
"Yo, wait up!" Mingi says. "You good? I'm sorry about him, he's actually losing it."
"You're sorry? Mingi, when the fuck is your friend gonna grow up so that you're not apologizing on his behalf?" Mingi lets out a breath as his eyes dart from you, back to Yunho's. "Seriously. I don't mean to throw that your way, but it's not even just about tonight. Your friend knows no boundaries and that's crazy to me."
"I know, he's got things to sort through but that's his own problem now. I already told him multiple times. Me and San did." Mingi shakes his head.
"Doesn't take much to grow the fuck up and take ownership of your own fuck-ups once in awhile."
"Let him keep learning the hard way. He will, eventually. He deserved that tonight."
"He can try all he wants, nothing's gonna change between me and her. Hope he understands I'm not going anywhere after tonight."
"Of course." Is all Mingi could respond with because of course Yunho wouldn't go anywhere— why the fuck would he let Seonghwa get in the way? He shouldn't. And Seonghwa needs to know that. "Anyway, just wanted to see if you two were okay. For real." Yunho sighs.
"Mmyeah. Thanks." He responds as Mingi daps it up. "We're just gonna head home."
"Drive safely. Text me if you need me." Mingi gives you a small smile before running off to tend to his friends, San now also getting dragged into all his mess. 
The walk over is quiet, but Yunho still opens the passenger door for you when you finally get to his car. You hate the silence that falls between you two, but you understand Yunho is upset and needs his own time away from everything, from you, even. You can't help but cry even more into your hands when he pulls into the apartment lot, Yunho letting out a breath as he puts the car in park. He looks over at you and his heart breaks because he truly hates to see you cry, and he never wants to be the reason behind you being sad or hurt.
"Hey. Don't." He says softly, hands coming up to pry your own hands away from your face. He gently wipes the tears away, making sure no drop is missed. 
"I'm sorry, Yuyu." You repeat.
"I know, it's okay."  He says, even though right now, it's not.
"Is it?"
"Let's get you home, okay?" He just looks at you with a soft expression before unbuckling his seatbelt. He comes over to open your door, locking his car when you step out and slowly make your way to your apartment. When you get to the steps, you turn towards him with a small pout. Yunho pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, wiping any remaining stragglers from staining your cheeks. He's not happy, but he's trying to send you off on a calm note— hoping this could at least ease you for the night. "Get some rest."
"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" He doesn't say anything before he pulls away and takes a few steps backwards. "Yunho." You call for him in that tone of yours that always makes him so weak.
"Y/N, please. I just need to shake this off. That's all. Goodnight." All you can do is simply walk away before running up the steps and into your apartment. Chaery is the only one home, cleaning her dishes after cooking a good meal for all of you to share.
"My love is home! I cooked!" She says happily, but her smile dies when she sees you set your bags down and cry into your hands. She drops everything and rushes over, throwing her arms around you while guiding you to the couch. "Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" She brushes the hair away from your face while you continue to cry. You don't respond for a bit, signaling for Chaery to just hold you and let you be.
You cry, and you cry.
Because you already miss Yunho, and you feel so dumb for overthinking the entire thing, for not being honest with him. It was a stupid mistake, but you hope Yunho knows you truly weren't out to hurt him. 
You hope he can forgive you and move past this— with you, together.
Because today and so on, he's all you want. You love Yunho, and there's no one else that completes you the way that he does.
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starogeorgina · 10 months
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Twin flames
Warning: Age gap relationship, smut, swearing
Pairing: Daemon Targaryen × Reader
1.04
“Bastards or not, Rhaenyra’s sons are still just children; you can’t possibly think they deserve such slander!”
Aemond gives you a death glare. The queen, in all her wisdom, had tricked you into spending time with Aemond by inviting you to join her for supper in her chambers; she even had your favourite cake specifically made for the occasion. Under the impression that Helaena would be joining you as well, you said yes. But it was a fib; Helaena was nowhere to be found, and you were now left feeling awkward sitting across from your mother and brother. As expected, your mother shared her disdain for your uncle's plans of staying in King's Landing being made public, but the conversation quickly turned to her talking poorly of Rhaenyra, and Aemond jumped at the chance to slander Prince Lucerys.
“Enough!” Your mother looks between you and Aemond, shaking her head. “This pointless arguing ends here. It’s time you started to behave like husband and wife.”
Knowing where this conversation would lead next, you wanted nothing more than to tell your mother to shove the idea of your producing heirs with Aemond, but you bite your tongue instead. There was once a time you would have done your duty and relished having a baby of your own, but now the thought of laying with Aemond physically makes your skin crawl. Dark circles hung under your mother's eyes, and the skin around her fingernails was red and raw. She has been stressed again, which was the only reason you chose a different approach than arguing.
You sigh, “I’m not having this conversation again.”
You stand to leave, but she grips the sleeve of your pale blue dress, giving you a pleading look, and says, “I believe Aemond has something he’d like to say.”
You look to your husband, waiting for him to either spew venom or put on a fake display of kindness to make it appear like he cares for the sake of your mother. But when he says nothing, you turn and leave.
“Be gentle, Tyvaros,” you say, motioning for Lady Rhaena to come closer. You take her hand and place it on the side of your head. Tyvaros made a loud grunting noise before leaning into her touch.
Despite his frightful appearance, Tyvaros reminded you of a kitten during the times you were alone; he purred while nuzzling his nose into your embrace. You couldn’t imagine not having your black beauty in your life; you were convinced one half of your soul completely belongs to him. Which is why you felt for Rhaena so much; it must have been awful not having that connection.
“I’m surprised my father allowed me to get this close; how did you convince him?”
“I think he said yes just so I’d stop asking him.”
You both chuckled. You kissed Tyvaros before stepping back to let him fly off to go hunt. The strong winds from the flaps of his large wings cause dirt to swirl in the air. You cover your face with your hands to stop anything from going in your eyes. When Daemon finally caved and said he would allow you to introduce his daughter to your dragon but not ride him just yet, When Tyvaros started to look small in the distance, you began to start walking back towards the keep.
You smile as your fingers brush over the necklace sitting on your collarbone. Since his daughters came to King's Landing, Daemon has been a lot happier, although his relationship with your father still seems strained.
“Are you coming to Dragonstone with us?” Rhaena asks. “Because if you are, I think I should fly on dragon back with you.”
“I don’t think your father will agree,” you snorted. “And I am unsure if I’ll be able to accompany you on your trip. I’m traveling to old town to see my brother, Daeron.”
She pouts, “Baela really wants you to come with us as well, and I know it would mean a lot to my father. He’s really taken with you; he values your friendship.”
You smile at her. Both of Daemon’s daughters were smart, kind, and beautiful, much like their mother was. You only vaguely remember meeting Lady Laena once when you were much younger, visiting her brother at court. She was very beautiful, from what you recall, and not only held strong feelings towards your uncle but Rhaenyra as well.
Over the past few months, Daemon has shown you more and more affection. He gave you pearls, silks, and books as gifts, along with a jade tiara that once belonged to the empress of Leng. He read poems to you in High Valyrian and dined with you often, either alone or accompanied by his daughters. You’d race each other on dragon back, sneak out of the keep at night, and under disguise go and see a play or drink in a tavern, happy to spend time together without being watched over. Your feelings for your uncle had become more romantic, but you tried your best not to let on.
Rhaena steps in front of you and says, “Please.”
“Well, I suppose I’d be rather lost without my two favorite ladies keeping me company. I shall see what I can do.”
Happy that she’s convinced you, Rhaena beams at you before skipping ahead. Traveling to Dragonstone with them was tempting; you’d never been before and wished to get to know your eldest sibling, Rhaenyra, but knowing the reaction you’d receive from your mother, brother, and grandsire was enough to cause you pause.
Your finger glides along the dusty bookcase in the library that is hardly ever used. When you reach the small table next to the only window in the room, you sit down and begin to read. Moments later, you’re joined by your uncle. “I heard my daughters finally wore you down and that you’re coming with us to Dragonstone.”
For the last two days, Baela and Rhaena had persistently begged for you to join them; both young girls were excited to visit their cousins and desperately wanted you to go as well. “Unfortunately, I don’t think I will be able to travel with you.”
“Why not?”
“I believe I'm going to travel to old town to visit my brother and some lords on the queen's behalf.”
Daemon snaps the book in his hand shut and says, “Fuck the lords.”
You chewed on your bottom lip while lowering your head to look at the book open on the table, but you’d lost your place, and trying to find it again was difficult with your uncle's gaze burning into you. Gulping it down, you pretend not to notice how intensely he’s staring. You didn’t want to admit the real reason you were hesitant to go.
“Ñuha zaldrītsos, what is it?”
Shaking your head, you say, “I cannot say; you’ll think it’s pathetic.”
Across the table, he chuckles and says, “I doubt that.”
You place a fabric bookmark in between the pages so you don't lose your place and close the book in front of you, knowing you aren’t going to finish it any time soon. “The last time I saw my nephews was when Aemond lost his eye and my mother did what she did.”
Daemon's eyes softened. “And?”
“What if Rhaenyra doesn’t accept me? I know how cruel my side of the family, ‘the greens’,have treated her and her sons.”
“You're scared she will reject you?”
You nod.
Daemon rubs circles on the back of your thumb. “Why does it matter to you what she thinks?”
“Because she’s my sister, and my father loves her so much. I know it would mean the world to him if Rhaenyra had someone on her side; he worries that she’s lonely.”
He sighs, “I promise you Rhaenyra won’t turn you away; she craves a family unit.”
“You can’t possibly promise that.”
“You’re nothing like your mother. Rhaenyra would accept you and your siblings into her life, aside from that insufferable one-eyed cunt.”
“Wow,” you say, raising your brows. “That’s the first time you’ve not called both Aemond and Aegon cunts, only Aemond.”
“Hmm. We are leaving in the morrow; I’d like your decision by night so I can let my daughters know beforehand.”
“Lady Rhaena insists she’s riding on Tyvaros with me to Dragonstone.”
“Absolutely not.”
Hearing the sudden sharp tone in his voice caused you to smile. You loved seeing Daemon so protective of his twins. Thinking of his sweet girls, you finally make a decision. You stand to leave it before you go. You lean down and kiss Daemon on the cheek. “Thank you, Kepus; I will see you tonight.”
A knot twists in your stomach as you approach your brother's chambers. The walk seemed longer than usual as your mind raced with all the different ways Aemond might react to you travelling to Dragonstone with your uncle, but during this time of day he often had tea with your mother most days so he wouldn’t be alone while receiving the news.
Ser Criston’s eyes widen slightly when he notices you, “princess.”
“Ser Criston, I hope you are well this evening.”
He opens his mouth to say something but quickly closes it. Pressing his lips together tightly, he looks hesitant as he opens the door.
“Thank you,” you say, walking by him. It was unusual for the knight to not engage with you, and you also found it strange that he hung his head low.
Your eyes scan the room, and you freeze when you finally spot Aemond, your husband, fucking one of his whores. She was bent over on his bed as he thrust into her from behind.
Like a dog taking a bitch.
You slowly back away before turning and running out of the room. Strangely enough, you didn’t feel hurt or upset at seeing your husband fucking another woman; however, you did feel like a fool. A fool who had been holding back on her own feelings and desires to try and maintain some level of respect and dignity in her marriage, but no more.
From now on, you’ll be chasing your own desires.
You smile politely at the knight, who opens the door leading into your uncle's quarters. Walking further into it, you frown, noticing he is nowhere to be seen.
“Zaldrītsos, I didn’t think you’d come.”
Daemon smirks, walking closer to you from the balcony, dressed in only his briefs. You swallowed hard; he truly was gorgeous. “You’ve cut your hair.”
“I have. Did you come to a decision?”
You don’t answer him; instead, you grab his face, pulling him close enough to press your lips against his. Daemon seems taken aback by your actions but quickly kisses you back. He wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you from the ground slightly. You attempt to wrap your legs around his waist, but your dress restricts your movements. Grinning into the kiss, Daemon lifts you even higher, his hands grabbing your bum while he walks you backwards until your back hits the wall.
“I’m guessing that you’re coming?” He asks between kisses pressed to your neck.
“Yes, I’ll go with you.”
Daemon kisses along your jawline before sliding to his knees. Now kneeling in front of you, his hands caress the back of your legs. Slowly, he raises his hands up your legs until they grip the bottom of your skirts. Your breath hitches in your throat as he maintains eye contact. As the cold air sends shivers down your spine, he licks a strip up your thigh. You practically snatch the fabric from him and bunch your skirts up so he can make use of both hands.
Your free hand scrapes across his scalp as Daemon removes your small cloth with his teeth. Your heart rattles in your chest with nerves, knowing this is the first time another person is going to see you this vulnerable. One of Daemon’s hands slid between your legs, rubbing between your wet folds. After teasing you for a few moments, he pushes one finger inside of you.
You moan at the strange sensation, “Gods, Daemon!”
He gives you time to adjust before starting to slowly work his finger inside you before adding another. His tongue flicks against your clitoral area as his thick fingers scissor inside you, bringing you pleasure you never thought possible. Soon your legs begin to feel terrible as the coil in your lower stomach snaps, and you scream Daemon’s name as he gives you his first orgasm.
Smirking, he kisses up your clothed body, cheekily nipping at your breast before gently pressing his lips against your own. The taste of you on him was intoxicating. Daemon nuzzles into your neck. “My sweet girl, I will show you every pleasure possible if you allow me to.”
“Yes,” you pant, still coming down from your high. You reach for Daemon’s breeches and attempt to untie them, but Daemon stops.
“We have all the time in the world to fuck for love and pleasure. But tonight, tonight is about only you, my little dragon.”
The only reply that falls from your mouth is a loud moan as Daemon begins to suck and nip at your neck while his hands begin to loosen the fabric covering your breasts.
𝘈 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱, 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘸𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘳𝘶𝘱𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨'𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘩, 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.
“𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘤𝘶𝘯𝘵. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘥, 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳; 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘨𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘴.”
“𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥?” 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘴 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘰𝘤𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱.
“𝘜𝘯𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰, 𝘐’𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳.” 𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭. 𝘐𝘵 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘵𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘢𝘺. “𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢’𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦. 𝘔𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺, 𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘰 𝘐.”
𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘴 𝘳𝘶𝘣𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘨𝘨𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦. “𝘏𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘈𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘦𝘯𝘥? 𝘖𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶?”
𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘫𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘪𝘦𝘤𝘦; 𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥. 𝘋𝘰𝘶𝘣𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢 𝘪𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭; 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘬𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘪𝘧 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮.
𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺, 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯; 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢. 𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘵, 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦. 𝘐𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦. “𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘙𝘩𝘢𝘦𝘯𝘺𝘳𝘢?”
𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘴, “𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘐 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶? 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘙𝘩𝘢𝘦𝘯𝘺𝘳𝘢!”
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘦, 𝘬𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴. 𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮; 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘺, 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩.
𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴. “𝘐 𝘢𝘮 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘸. 𝘏𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘈𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴; 𝘪𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘸.”
“𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯’𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳; 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯.”
“𝘋𝘢𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘯!” 𝘝𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴, 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘩𝘦’𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘰. “𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘨𝘶𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘰𝘺 𝘮𝘦.”
“𝘐 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘈𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘴.”
“𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳? 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘳𝘬 𝘮𝘦? 𝘜𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘖𝘵𝘵𝘰’𝘴 𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘯?”
“𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳! 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳…”
Zaldrītsos - Little dragon
Ñuha zaldrītsos - My little dragon
Kepus- Uncle
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angstysebfan · 10 months
Text
Was It A Mistake - Fin
Pairing: Bucky x Reader, Bucky x Nat Chapter Summary: The happy ending we deserve. Epilogue. We jump through time here. Warnings: Fluffy Fluff
Series Masterlist
--
Life was definitely different after the confrontation with Nat in the theater room. Nat went off to a safe house and stayed there for 9 months. She was suspended from the Avengers until she could pass a psych evaluation and be cleared. While she was away, she started seeing a therapist, and was able to figure out that while she cared for Bucky, she didn't actually love him. She had become obsessed because of trauma from a particular mission right before Bucky came to tower. When she returned to the tower, she still went to therapy almost daily for awhile, and eventually became the Nat everyone knew and loved again. She continues to be on probation and needs to have frequent check ins with Fury, Tony, and Steve.
Bucky still can't forgive her, which everyone understood; you had a hard time also. While you were somewhat ok with working with her (though you tried not to be on missions with her due to the lack of trust), you knew that you would never be able to be friends again. Eventually Nat started dating Bruce Banner, which made you feel better about her never coming after Bucky again. 
After Nat had initially left the tower, you and Bucky decided to try your relationship again, but you made him work for it. You went out on dates, and after a few you allowed him to kiss you. You held out about 2 months before you slept together again. You wanted to go slow, cause though you were both manipulated, you still had a hard time letting go what he and Nat did to you while they were together. Bucky was patient and completely understood.
After 8 months you both finally moved back in together in an apartment near Steve's in Brooklyn, and Bucky wanted to propose immediately, but held off another 4 months and proposed on your 1 year anniversary of getting back together. You cried and immediately said yes, as you wanted to spend the rest of your life with this man. The man you loved despite everything that happened.
Now here you are, after a short 6 month engagement, having a small intimate wedding with your Avengers family. You didn’t care that it was a small wedding, in fact you preferred it that way, because the only thing that mattered to you was the man at the end the aisle, waiting for you. When Tony and you walked into the room, the look on his face told you everything. You saw all the love and compassion he had for you through the tears in his eyes, the big softy. You knew that no one else would ever love you the way Bucky Barnes does and no one would ever love him like you do. You were more than ready to start your life as Mrs. Y/N Barnes. 
After the ceremony, everyone hung out in the common room for a small party. You and Bucky danced the night away in each others arms, the smiles never leaving your faces. Steve was the best man and Wanda was your maid of honor, and both gave great speeches that made everyone laugh. You couldn't imagine this day to be any better than it was. You kept looking at Bucky and saw how happy he was. It warmed your heart to be able to give him all the happiness he deserved. It might have taken you some time, with a rather large bump in the road, but you are finally here. You are both finally in your happily ever after.
While the “party” was still going on in the common room, you took Bucky out onto the balcony. You needed a little bit of alone time with your new husband. (you still can't believe he is your husband!) You walked hand in hand to the railing, and looked over New York City. Bucky draped his flesh arm around you and kissed the top of your head, sighing in happiness.
“Today was the happiest day of my life, doll. Thank you for being my wife,” he said against your temple then kissed it softly.
You smile and looked up at him. “Well I am more than happy to be your wife and make all your dreams come true. Our dreams come true," you said, turning toward him and grabbing his hands giving them a squeeze.
"In fact, not only am I happy to be your wife…” you give him a peck on the lips, “I'm happy and proud to be the mother of your child,” you say softly. 
Bucky stares at you, trying to comprehend what you just said. You look at him, slightly nervous for his reaction, hoping he is ok with this happening so soon. You both talked about it, but not this soon.
“You….. You’re pregnant?” he gasps.
You slowly nod at him, cupping his face to ground him. You see a wide smile slowly appear on his face, and you release the breath you were holding. He was happy!
“I’m going to be a dad?” he asks, excitement evident in his voice as he holds your hands tighter without hurting you.
“Yes, baby. You're going to be daddy!” you say, tears coming to your eyes. Bucky laughs as he lifts you up in his arms and spins you around. Both of your a mix of laughs and tears. Could this day get any better?
“I can’t believe it! I’m going to be a dad!" he says before pulling you in to a breathtaking kiss.
He pulls away and both of you are panting. He leans his forehead against yours and quietly says, "You really are the most amazing person in the whole world. I can’t imagine my life without you.”
He pulls you closer, if thats possibly, wrapping his arms around you. “I love you with my entire being. I'm nothing without you, and never want to be without you.” He presses another passionate kiss to your lips.
You pull away even more breathless, as tears fall from your face. “I love you too, Bucky. More than you'll ever know.” You kiss again softly.
"Come on," he says, taking you by the hand to head back in.
When you walk back into the common room Bucky announces that he is going to be a daddy! Everyone in the room cheers for the happy expecting newlywed couple. That night no one on Earth was as happy as you and your new husband.
--
Part 6
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starguardianniom · 9 months
Text
The emotional immaturity of Adrien and Marinette
This need to be said.
You cannot tell me Adrien lacks the emotional maturity to handle his father being the villain he fights for 5 seasons, his assistant helping him, and his mom being alive in a coma in the basement and tell me he can't handle it. Who the hell would?
And yet, he still should have been there for the final battle, because after spending 5 seasons trying to break free from his caged life that Gabriel threw him in, he deserves to have a final face off with the man and see the reality of the situation, while also denouncing everything his father fought for by saying he was wrong, and he's gonna fight to end his madness.
Somehow, Marinette gets to be in the final battle alone with 2 miraculouses against her boyfriend's father who's the antagonist, and at the end when he wins, she complies with his last request to not say anything to Adrien.
How the hell is that her handling it in any kind of mature way possible, or saying she didn't have her emotions messing with her judgement here?
Cause I'm sorry, but past seasons proved time and time again that Marinette is just as emotionally immature as Adrien, if not more, when it comes to world shattering stuff thrown her way.
Starting with her being very immature emotionally whenever it concerns Adrien.
We saw her screwing up in 3 seasons finales because of her feelings for Adrien having a factor in it.
In season 1 Volpina, she impulsively humiliated Lila in front of Adrien to not only call her out on her lies, but also to get her away from Adrien, after spending a lot of time following them around because she was jealous, before Tikki noticed the Book.
Season 3 in Heart Hunter, her being heartbroken over letting Adrien and Kagami be together and then later seeing them together as Ladybug mess with her feelings and she choose to get Kagami away from Adrien instead of finding Chloé who told her she was ready to fight, and honestly there's no way she chose Kagami purely for selfless reasons 100%, she was still affected by her feelings of being crushed, and when choosing which miraculous she should take, she was clearly debating either to choose Chloé who was already aware of the situation and it was her parents, or choose Kagami who was having a romantic moment with Adrien. Do not tell me she was completely focused when she had been distracted earlier as Ladybug at seeing Adrigami in display, she freaking crashed into a tree when seeing it.
Season 4 Strike Back showed her, after spending the last episode being driven impulsive by Risk, which she became aware of in the end, she decided to go fetch "Adrien" to pull off her plan, despite having much easier options to go as. Not to mention her Lucky Charm saying she had to go in the past, knowing the entire city was affected, yet somehow Adrien wasn't, yet it didn't tip her off that maybe if Adrien wasn't affected it was because he wasn't there the day before, and thus couldn't have been Adrien, but maybe his cousin, since she knows he pulled a twin switch once with him. She could have fetch Sabrina who was already familiar with the Dog Miraculous, heck better yet, she could have just unified her miraculous with the Rabbit and the Dog without having the Horse, and do the travel herself, if she use the beyond broken Rabbit miraculous, then she can freaking use the Dog, but she decided Adrien was trustworthy. She even questionned herself if the idea made her reckless. But since she can't shake her crush is perfect, she stood to her initial plan, and got completely fooled by him which gave Gabriel all the miraculouses but hers, Chat Noir's and the Peacock. She thought with her heart, not her brain there.
It's not the first time she does it either.
When it comes to Adrien, or perfect guys, Marinette becomes one of the least emotionally mature people on the show.
We saw how in Desperada, her knowing Aspik was Adrien couldn't make her focus at all.
In Kuro Neko, having a new partner, which was basically Adrien's model routine up to the max, she couldn't concentrate at all on the mission, let alone KNOW HOW TO USE HER FREAKING LUCKY CHARM.
And now Marinette herself when it doesn't have anything to do with being Ladybug, just being Marinette, or it being about Adrien in any way.
Marinette is a girl who is insecure, nervous and prone to self-spirals to the simplest mistakes, and goes above and beyond to try to either salvage the situation, or try to cover it up with others being none the wiser if she wants to and plays her cards right.
She will go to extreme answers to basic problems, which usually cause more trouble for herself in the long run.
She is extremely reckless in that aspect and doesn't think things through completely like she thinks she is doing.
Mostly because she has an immature response to anything that could cause her any embarassment or having to confront a though situation she doesn't want to deal with or just hope it goes away on its own.
Accidently leaving an embarassing message on Adrien's phone?
Break into his locker, steal his phone, learn his password and delete it, instead of maybe explaining herself calmly.
Accidently erasing a video of Ladybug on Alya's phone? Steal the phone, lie to her bestie, try to redo the video so she won't notice, being afraid she'll break her friendship with her if she finds out, not thinking Alya might have posted it on her blog before showing it to her.
Juleka needs to be in the class photo? Go steal the memory card of the photographer and erase the previous photo so he'll need to take another one instead of just asking to redo it, because she is sure he won't want to.
She didn't do anything grand like her classmates for Heroes Day? Lie about what she actually plans to the entire class and get caught up in her plan when she can't pull it off, despite Alya defending her earlier, her parents and Tikki telling her she needs to come clean, and her classmates, sans Chloé, not being bothered by it, probably understanding that she was very busy and did what she could on a short notice.
Adrien is at a movie premiere with Kagami? Team up with Chloé to humiliate Kagami so she'll be seated next to Adrien and prevent him and Kagami from leaving Japan, instead of trying to stop her bully from 4 years from pulling a cruel prank, a bit similar to what she went through the year prior, being humiliated publically in front of a guy she liked.
Can't give Adrien a gift at his house? Abuse her powers to transform and break into his room to deliver his gift, instead of waiting at the front gates until he arrives like a normal person.
The guys having a boys only party at Adrien's house? She needs to ditch her friends to go to that party, and pass herself as a boy to join, instead of just letting them be, because how dare they have a guy only party the one time they all group together, not like she only hangs out with her girl friends all the time without any guys.
Doesn't know why her grand-father is estranged from her dad? Pretend to be someone else, and lie to him, instead of coming clean from the start.
Learned Kagami and Adrien broke up? Push Kagami to try to make her fall in love with him again and ignores everything Kagami tells her, at one point literally lifting her to get her to talk to him, projecting her feelings on Kagami the entire episode, instead of listening to Kagami and trying to learn what happened.
Ghosted Kagami by ignoring her calls because she didn't want her to be disappointed in her not being able to tell Adrien "I love you" despite dating him at that time.
She doesn't want to see Luka because she's afraid to break his heart again and get him akumatized? Ask his twin to tell him to not come to HIS OWN BIRTHDAY PARTY BECAUSE SHE'S TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO FACE HIM! Not to mention not listening to Alya telling her she exaggerate and that Luka would like to see her again, as unlike her, Alya has been talking to Luka and knows he would prefer to stay friends with Marinette even if he still has feelings for her, cause Luka is that mature.
Su-Han wants to know Chat Noir's identity for safety reasons in case anything happens to him? Why, lie to Chat Noir about wanting to knows each other's identities, have 2 people knowing his without his consent, then erase the deed so neither he or she will remember it, her thinking Chat Noir will never reveal himself to anyone but her, without her ever bothering to talk to him and explaining the reasons, which given how much more understanding he is than her most of the time, he would get it and would do so without complains, but nope she goes behind his back and immediatly thinks she knows him better.
Learns Adrien is sended to Shangai without her knowing? Welp, time to lie to her parents about wanting to connect to her maternal origins from China and wanting to go there to know her roots, making them pay for what was supposed to be a family trip that they had planned since she was born, just to go stalk her crush whom she basically sees everyday in class in another country, just because she was miffed that she didn't know about it, despite boasting how she knew everything about him and she would know if he was going.
Those are the many emotionally immature actions that she made throughout the show, and you tell me Adrien isn't emotionally mature enough for the final fight in the finale of season 5?
Fuck you, the main protagonist is even more emotionally immature than he'll ever be with all the crap she pulled.
The creators even said Marinette has a very poor control of her emotions. Even as Ladybug she's not immune.
Adrien is probably more mature than her because of all the mental strenght he builded up just to keep up with his life before getting a miraculous.
Marinette is just a normal kid who kids herself, she is very clever and intelligent, but in the emotional maturity department, she is one of the worse, out there with Chloé, Lila and Gabriel.
Any minor problems she faces she tends to go to extreme lenghts to solve, despite many people telling her time and time again that she's really thinking way too much about it. Namely Tikki and Alya.
Her first responses are most of the time, lie, manipulate, steal, in the hopes she can undo her mistake before someone sees it, or to save face and prevent herself from being embarassed. Heck, a lot of the time, it doesn't have anything to do with being Ladybug, she just want to save face.
Honesty isn't her first answer a lot of the time.
Not being honest about making mistakes and just trying to avoid them by lying or fixing them before someone sees them is emotionally immature on her part.
Because she's a stupid 14 years old teen who does a lot of stupid 14 years old stuff.
Like Adrien is a 14 eyears old teen who also does a lot of stupid 14 years old stuff, mostly as Chat Noir, Adrien, a bit less, but sometimes too.
So to hell with Adrien not being emotionally mature to handle his dad being a villain and all that, Marinette is just as worse.
The fact she lies to him at the end about it all proves it.
She is not emotionally mature about him, she has never shaded her rose colored glasses that are glued to her face when it comes to him.
To her, Adrien is the perfect boy who needs protection from anyone and anything that could harm him or cause him grief.
She sees him more as an idol than a real person. Even when he confess his insecurities to her, she's more concerned about his safety rather than trying to learn more about why he feels that way and connect to him more than just drooling over him like the hardstuck fangirl that she is when around him.
She sniffed his pillow. Pulled hair and kissed what she thought was a statue of him. Stalked him to another country. Humiliated 2 girls who were interested in him. Makes tons of complicated schemes to woo a guy she can barely talk to because she was traumatized before by a prank and the lesson she learned from it was to learn everything about the next guy just to be sure she wouldn't be caught again, instead of just listening to her friend's advice, taking it to an extreme form of creepy.
Again, not the picture of emotional maturity here much. So do not ever tell me that Adrien is not mature enough to be able to take emotionally the bad news.
If Marinette's response to the bad news was to lie to the entire city about the villain and make him a hero instead, and lie to her partner, and boyfriend, because she listened to Gabriel's last wish, then seriously, it outright says in blinding lights neon that she was not emotionally mature for it either.
Especially since the villain was her boyfriend's dad, and we all know how she acts when it's about her beloved.
She didn't have to change her views on Adrien, never did, for that she would have needed to treat him like a person instead of an angel gracing the earth.
The shrine she saw him from was so high up in the sky she never saw what was really happening with him, even when told, she just went back to drooling over him as if nothing happened.
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mai-fanblog · 5 months
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Team employees
This group I planned is based on my first Ducktales fic "See you again".
Here it is for context: Link
Summary of the relationship of the fours
Dickie and Gyro
They have been best friends for years. Gyro has a slight crush on her, but prefers not to say it for the sake of their friendship. Dickie likes Gyro very much and sees him as the most important person in her life, although she doesn't see him romantically. Although they are completely different, they understand each other; Gyro is willing to help Dickie and Dickie will support her dearest friend.
And while Gyro is often uncomfortable when Dickie likes someone or has a partner, mostly because he feels neither deserves her (nor does he himself consider himself perfect for her), being more recent: Launchpad McQuack.
Dickie and Fenton
The two get along well, although there is a bit of disdain (although it is on Fenton's part). Dickie teases Fenton about his superhero identity and teases him several times, despite his jokes against him, but genuinely appreciates him for being good to Gyro.
Fenton initially had a hard time establishing a relationship with Dickie, due to his slight jealousy for getting along with Gyro so easily and her practical jokes towards him. Over time, he began to sympathize with her, although he still resents her teasing comments.
Dickie and Launchpad
The two became friends immediately, however, Dickie fell in love with him, mostly because of physical attractiveness and LP saw her as someone likeable.
She initially saw him as just a handsome man, but as she was with him more, she realized his great kindness and even though he is dumb, he would show his compassion when it is needed the most. She wants to start a romance with him, unfortunately it would be difficult for Dickie; despite her failed attempts, she appreciates LP's friendship and is happy for him to spend time together as friends.
For his part, Launchpad has liked Dickie ever since he met her and adores her crazy energy. He has inadvertently left her in the friendzone. Launchpad appreciates Dickie's optimism, although he still knows her weak side and tries to help her.
They both share the same neuron. xD
Launchpad and Fenton
The two get along extremely fine, it should have been the events that led Fenton to make Gizmoduck.
Despite their friendship, LP had a slight attraction to Fenton, although he is aware that he has a girlfriend and prefers to keep a low profile on the subject.
They both help each other, even when Fenton is in his hero mode, even though Darkwing doesn't like the idea very much.
Launchpad and Gyro
Both are known to work.
Gyro dislikes Launchpad's presence very much, not only because of the issue with Dickie, but because of Launchpad's stupidity and ignorance every time he appears, the more he gets involved with something scientific. Even so, he tries to keep his professional attitude to avoid someone unpleasant (mostly so that Dickie doesn't look at him ugly).
Launchpad, on the other hand, wants to have a friendship (or at least closeness) with Dr. Gearloose. Unfortunately, it usually ends badly.
They are such opposites that it is difficult to keep them together alone in the same room.
Gyro and Fenton
Both were just a scientist and his (unpaid) intern, although it was mostly Gyro's dislike of Fenton, for resorting to it himself when he was young.
Despite Fenton's mistakes with the suit, Gyro gave him many chances and began to like him, in his own strange way with his sour face.
Because of the events in Japan, Gyro agreed to make Fenton an official assistant, showing his appreciation for him. The two would begin a friendship, despite maintaining their status as boss and employee.
Fenton would take on a more important role for Dr. Gearloose regarding his emotions, especially when Dickie came back into the scientist's life. Gyro acknowledged (at times) that Fenton had become a good friend, although he hid it so as not to be soft.
Thanks for reading (this so long) and I hope to bring more of this headcanon I've been thinking about for a while and fine tune the details.
(I hope to publish both fics and drawings of them).
Chau
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why-what-no · 2 years
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Happier Alone Part 1
Part Two
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Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Sadness, one swear word I think
Summary: Billy met a girl who made him realize how lonely he was, letting her into his life and loving her. But when he messes up and she treats him like he treated so many girls before her, he worries that he might loose the best thing he’s ever had. (Angst with a happy ending)
Requested by: @mothshabby
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When they first met, Billy was constantly impressed by so many of the things (Y/N) did. She was brave, always ready to stand up for what she believed in, but always had a nice thing to say about everyone, even him. He didn’t mean to fall in love with her. He thought he was perfectly fine alone, without someone he loved or trusted. But somehow he had gotten attached to her and finally realized how miserable his solitude really was.
But then he screwed up. Billy got cocky, thinking that since he wouldn’t ever leave her, she wouldn’t do the same. So, when he started spending more time with his friends, more time not spent with her, he couldn’t understand why she got so irritated. Even more, he couldn’t understand why she would do the same. Starting to neglect him for her friends, to go to more parties. Finally, he spotted her speaking to some guy in her class, and he made the mistake of commenting on it.
He knew he deserved her being mad at him for it, knew that she hadn’t cheated on him. But… both of their buried resentment from the lack of attention given to their relationship had bubbled up. Thus began a shouting match that lasted until nightfall.  
It lasted until she got suddenly silent. When he did the same, she took a deep breath. “I think we shouldn’t be with each other anymore.” She told him, as a pit formed in Billy’s stomach at those words
 ***
 “Can I still see you?” Billy asked a few minutes later, sitting on the arm of a sofa. After her declaration, there had been a few minutes of complete silence as he took in what she had said. He looked at (Y/N) when she didn’t say anything. “(Y/N), can I still see you? Answer me.” He was terrified at the idea of loosing the only good thing is his life.
She shook her head. “Can’t see you. If I see you, I’ll never leave you.” He watched her try and stay strong, try to avoid looking at him.
“What would you do if I find someone else?”
She shrugged. “Be jealous?”
“You still love me?” He knew he should stop pushing, but he needed to know. Needed to make sure she wasn’t going to disappear on him.
“Of course.”
“You’re lying. I’ve been you.” He told her. He knew he had said those exact words that she had said to him, but to some other girls who he didn’t even remember the names of. He blinked away tears at the thought of her forgetting about him, his voice cracking. “Can I just.. hold you?”
There was no hesitation as (Y/N) stepped closer, letting Billy wrap his arms around her waist. Despite what she had said, she hated seeing him unhappy. Burying his face in her stomach, his words were muffled against her. “I amuse you, and I bore you.” He told her, sure that those words were true. Otherwise why would she abandon him?
She brush her hand through his hair. “No, no, no.” She reassured, hating to see him like this.
“Did you even love me?” The fact that he felt the need to asked that broke her heart.
“I’ll always love you. I hate hurting you.”
He wanted to shout at her, to get mad. But all he could do is sigh and pull her closer. “Then why are you?”
She was silent for a minute, thinking deeply. ‘Because I’m selfish.” She finally said, hating to admit it. “And I think I’ll be happier alone.”
“You won’t. You’ll miss me.” He spoke from the experience of those years of treating love like something to run away from. “Nothing will ever be good enough for you when you don’t love anyone, I know.”
But she just looked at him, peering down at Billy sadly. He hated that, disappointed in himself. He used to be the heartbreaker. The kind of guy to jump from girl to girl, forgetting them as soon as the short relationship was over. He supposed this was payback for all of that, finding a girl who he truly loved and then her doing the exact same thing he did to so many others. “I’m the one who leaves. I’m supposed to leave you. I’m the one who leaves.” He told her, his voice harsher than before. But he knew he didn’t have the upper hand. Knew he was just as desperate as before.
But the look in her eye when he said those words, that gave him hope. When she leaned closer to him and held him tighter, he took his chance and kissed her.
 She didn’t pull away, instead pulling him closer.
***
It was like they wanted to be as near to each other as possible, hands in hair and around their bodies. One of Billy’s hands cupping her face and the other wrapped around her back. Holding her against him, like he never wanted to let go of her again.
When they separated to take a much-needed breath, she still didn’t let go of him. “Come back to me.” Billy urged her; foreheads pressed together as they breathed deeply. “Don’t leave me.”
(Y/N) looked at him with a hint of worry, worry that he was going to break her heart if she listened to him. But she just sighed.
“Let’s get to bed.” She said, accepted him.                          
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roseofdarknessblog · 11 months
Text
Good and Evil (Porco Galliard x Tybur!Reader)
Word count: 7 834
Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes  
Summary: In a rather unfortunate twist of events, you end up inheriting the War Hammer Titan instead of your older sister Lara. 
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Good and Evil
The rich silver moonlight was spilling into the otherwise dark bedroom, making everything seem a little bit nicer. Every poorly lit corner of this damned room seemed so familiar and foreign at the same time. You’ve never spent that much time here – in this bedroom or this house alone. Well, at least not for the last couple of years.
Liberio, the town you were born and raised in, became an almost complete stranger to you. You loved coming back, even though leaving again was more than painful. But you had no other choice. You were the youngest of the Tybur children, Willy and Lara’s younger sister, who was born years after your parents stopped hoping for another child.
Maybe that’s why they needed to always keep an eye on you. Always keep you in a perfect golden cage, so nothing would happen to you. They still saw you as their precious innocent daughter, who only does what her parents demand from her.
„You okay?“ Shivers ran down your bare back when a very familiar male voice spoke from behind you. When you looked over your shoulder, while you were sitting up in bed, your eyes landed on the silhouette of your lover. „You seemed a little lost in your thought the whole evening.“
„I don’t want you to go,“ you said in a quiet voice.
„Back to the front?“ You nodded and pulled the duvet closer to your chest, your eyes meeting with Porco’s. „You know I have to go. The war is far from over, unfortunately. We still have lots of battles to fight.“
„I know, but...“
„Y/N,“ Porco said and sat up, moving a little closer to you. One of his strong arms hugged you from behind, his lips pressing to the warm skin of your shoulder. You knew he’ll have to go soon. Despite that, you dreamed about waking up in his arms on a nice slow, and sunny morning. „I get where you’re coming from. But you need to understand me and my situation as well. Even if I didn’t have to go back, what would you want me to do? We both know there’s no way your family could know about us.“
You swallowed hard and brought your knees to your chest. Anxiety and sadness were starting to creep up on you once again. „I’m tired of hiding and sneaking around. We both deserve to be happy.“
„I am happy,“ Porco whispered against your skin, hugging you tighter and pulling your back against his chest. His head rested against yours, while he found one of your hands and interlocked your fingers. „And that has to be enough for now.“
„But it’s not. Not for me. Not anymore.“ Those words hurt you, but you needed to say them out loud. You needed Porco to know, how you truly felt. Being honest with one another was always very important to you. „I don’t want to live like this anymore.“
Porco sighed quietly, pressing his lips behind your left ear. „What exactly do you want me to do? What would make you happy?“
„Living a normal life. With you.“
You and Porco met way back, almost ten years ago, when you still lived in Liberio and the both of you were just kids. Being friends with him was always a little bit strange. But you liked spending time with the younger one of the Galliard brothers. Since Willy and Lara were a lot older than you, they never really wanted to spend time with you. So you pretty often wandered around the town and looked for somebody, who would play with you. Of course, only after slipping past your family’s guards, who always lurked around the residence.
One day, you came across the military headquarters of the Marleyan military. There you met a group of kids, who were heading home, amongst them Porco and his older brother Marcel. You walked them all the way to the gates of the Internment zone, asking a lot of questions about their military training.
From that day forward, you kept coming back and walking them back to the gates. You got to know the other Warriors the same way and were so grateful for your new friends. Even though they lived very different lives than you. Despite that, you formed a unique bond with all of them – even Annie, who took the longest to warm up to you.
„That’s not possible right now, we’re at war and nobody knows how long it’s going to stay this way,“ Porco said, his lips gently brushing against your ear.
„Porco, we’ve been at war for almost three years now, I’m very well aware of what’s happening.“
After Porco wasn’t chosen to inherit a Titan and go to Paradis, the two of you got even closer. Day by day, your relationship was getting stronger... and when you both turned seventeen, it started becoming intimate like never before. You were drawn to him, just like he was to you. Even despite everything, especially your family moving again from Liberio.
Staying away from Porco for days, weeks and sometimes even months was the hardest and most painful thing. You missed him dearly every waking hour of the day and hoped to at least see him in your dreams. So when there was a chance to come back to Liberio, you took it and always snook out to meet with Porco, who you loved more and more every day.
„There is nothing I can do right now, you have to understand that. I’m a Warrior, serving Marley has to be my priority.“
You nodded, feeling tears start to dwell in your eyes. „I’m tired of always being second. Tired of losing to this shitty situation.“
„What?“
„Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m never your priority, Porco. Maybe once I was, but not anymore.“
You felt that something between you changed during these last few months. While you still loved him just like before, you felt something... something strange but unimaginably painful. He was changing and there was nothing you could do, to prevent that. Even when you tried to understand his situation and new obligations, which came after he finally got one of the Nine Titans.
You felt that you were slowly but surely losing him.
Nothing about your relationship seemed the same. Except... except the overwhelming love you still felt toward Porco Galliard, the new Jaw Titan. That love was still there, inside your heart and your whole being, threatening to suffocate you many times, while you cried about your situation.
„I love you,“ he whispered. But it didn’t sound like it used to before. Now it was merely an automatic response and a way to shut you up when you started talking about something similar.
You shook your head. „You don’t love me like you used to.“ All your words were quiet and full of sorrow, which was trying to claw its way from the center of your chest. „I’m not stupid, I can feel it, Porco.“
When he stayed quiet, the very first tear of that night rolled down your cheek. The silence broke your heart all over again. Foolishly, but you hoped he would say something. You hoped he would object.
Porco took a deep breath before he spoke. When he pulled away from you and let go of your hand, a sudden strong wave of paralyzing pain shot through your whole body. „You know that this thing between us has no real future,“ he finally said, his voice sounding somehow distant but sad at the same time. „You’re a Tybur, basically a nobel everyone admires and praises. And I’m just an Eldian. A weapon for Marley, nothing more.“
„Not for me.“ He laughed quietly and quickly got out of bed. You didn’t dare to look in his direction, while he was searching for his pants on the floor. „When did it happen? When did you stop loving me like you used to?“
Another long moment of silence made you want to scream in frustration. You were so naive when you thought that your relationship with Porco would grant you a happy future. Your love was never destined to last, that was the harsh reality you refused to see for so many months now.
Like a stupid child, you held onto broken promises and empty words. Long lost dreams and imaginary fairytales you kept telling yourself to numb the pain and emptiness inside your soul.
„I don’t... I don’t know,“ Porco said finally, his voice only a whisper.
„And did you want to tell me? Or was I supposed to figure it out on my own?“ Your cold tone made you sick, but suddenly that was all you were capable of. That or having a complete breakdown right there in front of him. „Did I do something that made you feel this way?“
You desperately wanted and needed to know. Only for Porco to stay completely quiet and let you guess all of the answers on your own. He was never cold or heartless, not to you, no. Never to you. Maybe that was the reason your heart felt like it was ripping into millions of tiny pieces. Just a few hours back, when his hands and lips were all over your body, you couldn’t even think about a similar conversation. Better said... you didn’t want to. All you wanted and needed, was to feel him close to you after so many months.
„Many things changed these past few years, us including,“ Porco finally said. When you looked at him, he was almost fully clothed again. Only his jacket with the red armband was missing. „I still love you, I really do. But I think we need to go our separate ways from this day forward. I’m returning to the front to fight for Marley and you should...“ he swallowed hard, visibly battling with his words. „You should find someone, who your family is going to approve.“ His defeated expression with a tiny sad smile made many more tears run down your cheeks. „I think that will be best for the both of us.“
You wanted to scream, cry and beat some sense into him. Everything he was saying was nonsense. Wasn’t it? Who cared about your family and their approval? You wanted Porco, nobody else. It’s been that way for many years and it wasn’t any different now.
„We can talk when I come back from the front. Maybe after the war is over.“
You didn’t say a word. All your strength and attention were focused on wiping away the tears streaming down your cheeks. Porco heard you sob quietly but did nothing to comfort you.
„I’ll always love you, but this is going to be the best for the both of us.“
„Sure,“ you muttered under your breath. „If you think so. Keep telling yourself all these lies. I’m simply not buying it.“
Porco sighed. „Don’t make this unnecessarily hard. We’re both in pain, Y/N. Don’t make it even worse.“
„You know what?“ you asked quietly, hugging your knees tightly. „I always thought, that you wanted the same thing as me. I thought you wanted to have a future with me, to build a family one day.“ You felt so stupid for all of the times you dreamed about your future with Porco. It was all just a dream and you were the only one dreaming it. „I believed, that you would fight for me and for our love. I... I...“ your voice broke for a moment, all the emotions making it hard to breathe. „I always thought, that you would do anything, to keep me in your life. Even come to my parents and ask for their permission to marry me.“
It was obvious, that there was something Porco wasn’t telling you. That’s why you gave him time to gather enough courage to speak up. Porco wasn’t a coward, at least that’s what you thought. However, when he didn’t utter another word and simply headed for the door, you felt as if he was a complete stranger. Not somebody, who tried to convince you about his love only a short while ago.
You heard him mumble something right before he opened the door and slipped out. Coldness was radiating from his every move. You saw him battle with himself to look back at you at least one last time, but his pride, or whatever it was, won. He closed the door after he left the room and left you with a pain so unimaginable, you were sure you won’t see another day.
In just a couple of minutes, your life completely fell apart and lost all meaning. The only thing... only person, who made you excited to wake up every morning, was gone.
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„Hey,“ said your older brother in a calm voice, while he rested his hands on your shoulders. You were so mesmerized by the raindrops slipping down the cold window glass, that you didn’t even notice him coming into your room. „I didn’t want to say anything at first, but now I really worry about you, Y/N.“
„Why?“
„Nothing makes you happy anymore. You barely smile or even talk to us. Mother and Father worry about you as well, even Lara seems concerned.“ You shrugged, resting your forehead against the window. „We both know, that this is going on for many months now.“
„What do you want me to say, Willy?“ you asked him, looking over your shoulder and right into his face.
„I want you to talk to me about the things that bother you. Just like when you were little. You always came to me or Lara, when you needed something. And we always tried to help you the best we could.“
Yes, he was right. They did their best when you needed something. Since they were both many years older, they had priceless experiences. And most importantly, they loved you and wanted you to have the best life possible.
Or at least that’s what you always thought.
And then it all changed, almost a year ago. Just a few weeks after Porco Galliard broke your heart. The time for naming the new inheritor of the War Hammer Titan came out of the blue – at least for you. The others already knew, how it was all going to happen. They decided without you. So when your paternal uncle’s life was coming to an end, your family broke the big news. It was you, who they found the most fit for this „noble“ role.
„And I will never forget that. I love both of you, this is nothing personal.“
„Am I supposed to believe it?“
„Believe what you want, I don’t care.“
Since Porco and you broke up, nothing was the same.
Most of your days were spent shut away in your room – crying, regretting many things, and battling many dark and sinister thoughts. And it all got worse when you became the new War Hammer Titan. Your family wanted you to train and learn to use its powers properly. But learning to control a Titan, let alone one with so much power was harder than you ever imagined. But maybe just because you weren’t really trying. You had no energy and motivation for that.
After all, the War Hammer Titan wasn’t meant to fight anyone. Not during these times you were living. It simply became a family heirloom, that needed to be kept safe and passed down every thirteen years.
„Why am I even here, Willy? I don’t have anything to do with this.“
„You do, dear sister. Just because you are the strongest person in our family now. And you swore to lend me this power whenever I’ll need it,“ Willy reminded you, running his hand up and down your back. His voice seemed calm. Maybe too calm given the situation. „Now that time came.“
You stayed quiet, searching the rainy Liberio street for any sign of life. Sadly, it seemed as if you and Willy, the oldest and the youngest of the Tybur siblings, were the only ones here.
„I don’t need you to do or say anything, Y/N. I’ll do the talking, you are just going to stand there behind me and keep quiet.“
„So I’m going to act like a scarecrow?“
Willy nodded. „Basically, yes.“ He leaned closer to you and pressed a little kiss on top of your head. Just like when you were little. „I don’t expect any problems, it’s going to be a meeting like many before. But it’s always good to have a few tricks up my sleeve, don’t you think?“ You didn’t even move a muscle. „It’s good to give certain people a reminder, that we as a family possess such power.“
„I never wanted this,“ you whispered, closing your eyes and swallowing all the pain and sorrow that were trying to suffocate you. „And you knew it more than well.“
„Don’t forget what you did, Y/N. After that, there was no other way.“
„What did I do? Fall in love? Was that really so bad, that you had to punish me this way? I gave up my life for this family, I only have twelve years left, nothing more.“
Yes, your parents and siblings found out about your previous relationship with Porco. Well... they didn’t know, who exactly you were in a relationship with. You successfully kept that a secret. But how did they find out, that you recently had a lover? Shortly after you and Porco broke up, you found out, that you were pregnant. And hiding something like that wasn’t possible. Not in the Tybur household.
Since you didn’t want to tell who the father was, your family automatically assumed, that it was a filthy Eldian. And when you didn’t object, you basically signed your own death. If you didn’t want to end up disowned and stripped of your name, which guaranteed you many important rights, you had to obey and do everything your parents asked you to do.
You gave up your unborn child and with unimaginable emptiness in your heart and soul ultimately gave up your own life as well. Why? Because you were scared, lost, and hurt. You had nothing and nobody. Not really. Not in the way you needed.
Going through these events changed you beyond recognition. When you looked into the mirror, you barely recognized yourself. However, the saddest part was, that your family saw it too, while they probably had no regrets about their choices. They didn’t act like they would regret putting you through so much suffering.
„How can you act like nothing happened, Willy?“
„I don’t act like nothing happened. I’m just doing my best to navigate the reality we live in now.“
„The reality all of you chose for me.“
With these words, you slipped past your brother and made your way to the dresser. Willy watched you pick out clothes for the evening and then left you alone to change into them and get ready. In the end, it didn’t even matter what you were going to wear. The only important piece of clothing was the full-length black cloak with a massive hood, which hid your face more than perfectly. Despite that, you had to wear a white porcelain mask, that symbolized the War Hammer Titan.
Nobody could know, who in your family had this power. It was like that for many, many years and you had no other choice than to follow these rules.
So once again, you did what you had to. You got into a carriage with your brother and headed for his meeting together. While he talked to the merchants and some politicians you didn’t know, you were standing by the door and keeping your mouth shut. You didn’t even pay attention to what they were talking about.
Your only responsibility was to be there in case those people needed a reminder, of who the Tyburs really are.
The meeting was long and tiring. While it lasted, you silently battled the emptiness inside of you, which gradually turned into tears. You could feel them sliding down your cheeks underneath the mask you hated so much. All you wished for, right there at that moment, was to simply drop dead and never open your eyes again.
You weren’t a person anymore. Just a weapon for a family that probably hated you more than anyone for one simple mistake.
For falling in love with someone, who you still couldn’t get over.
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After four years, Marley finally won the war and everything was supposed to return to normal. You dreamed about that day many, many times. But you never imagined yourself being trapped in the life you were living now. You never imagined being nothing more than a weapon. A walking corpse with a still beating heart.
Your relationship with Porco Galliard was still on your mind. There wasn’t a day when he wasn’t on your mind. Your heart remained in pieces and your soul was colder than ever since the day of your break up.
„I’m glad you were able to make it today,“ you said kindly, forcing a smile on your lips.
„It’s good to see you again,“ Porco said, resting his back against the chair. It was him, who contacted you right after he came back from the front and said, the two of you should meet. So you both agreed on today. „Although...“
You gave Porco a sad smile. „Just say it, I won’t get mad. I know I look more than horrible.“ He chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. „But you look good. As good as always.“
His offer to meet up shocked you. But you didn’t even consider not accepting it. After all, you longed to see him again. To see his face and hear his voice. Telling him about what happened since you broke up wasn’t your plan. You never wanted him to feel the pain you had to go through. And you certainly never wanted him to know, that the two of you could have been parents.
„Why did you agree to meet up with me?“ Porco asked a little hesitantly, his light hazel eyes studying your face. Today, you actually put effort into getting ready and made sure to look as presentable as possible. „I didn’t expect a positive answer. Better said, I didn’t expect any answer from you at all.“
„I wanted to see you, that’s it.“
„You’re not mad about what I did to you?“ When you shook your head, he seemed to be taken aback. That probably wasn’t the reaction he was counting on. „I see the way you look at me right now. Don’t tell me you’re not mad about how I acted a year ago when we saw each other for the last time.“
„No, I’m not mad, Porco,“ you answered without hesitation, nervously playing with your fingers. „I’m really not mad at all.“
„But what I did...“
„What you did... you hurt me and broke my heart. That’s what you did. I’m still hurt, sad, and confused about why it had to happen. But I’m not mad,“ you tried to explain your feelings to him, without saying more than what was necessary.
You were more than glad, that he was sitting there right opposite of you. The only thing that separated the two of you, was a small table of the local coffee and tea shop. Back in the day, Porco used to take you here for dates. Many beautiful memories were tied to this place. And it felt only natural, probably for the both of you, to meet here once again. Under many different circumstances, however.
„Do you expect an apology from me?“
„More like an explanation,“ you said, watching him run his right hand over his hair. It was smoothed back perfectly, just like every other time. For somebody, who just recently came back from war, he looked more than good. He was still the same handsome young Warrior you fell in love with many years ago. The same person you still loved deeply. „I want to understand what happened between us.“
Porco took a deep breath but ultimately failed to start talking. He kept looking at you, gazing into your eyes and probably searching for the girl you once were. The one he once loved. The realization, that she no longer existed kept hurting you over and over again.
„What happened to you?“ he asked almost too quietly, reaching out his hand towards you. But before he was able to grab your chin or touch your cheek, you pulled away. „I barely recognize you, Y/N.“ His words were full of pain and his eyes overflowing with concern. „Don’t take this the wrong way, but you used to be so astonishingly beautiful and full of life. Full of love and light. And now...“
„I know,“ you said before he could finish.
„What happened? Who did this to you?“
You shook your head and gave him a weak smile. „Let it be, please. That’s not important right now.“
„Your family?“
„Porco!“ you hissed, looking away. It already took almost all of your energy to pretend, that you were doing more than just surviving or waiting for death. With him asking questions he already knew the answers to... „Let’s just settle everything between us finally and then... go our separate ways once again, I guess.“
All you wanted, was him and only him. You still wanted the life you dreamed about in the past – a life with Porco Galliard as your partner. Despite him, and now you too, being a Titan Shifter. You would do the unimaginable, to have that life. To have him back, even if only for a couple of years.
„Okay, so... what do you want to hear? That I’m a coward, who simply got scared? Who didn’t want to burden you with my fate? How was I supposed to marry you, when we both know I’m going to die in a couple of years?“
„I never cared about that and you knew it,“ you objected immediately, your heart filling with even more pain, as you listened to his every word. He didn’t even dare to look you in the eyes all of a sudden, which only made the situation worse.
„But I did, Y/N,“ he said, clenching his hands into fists. „I did.“
„It wasn’t fair, you know? What you did to me... to us.“
He nodded. „I know that now. And I can assure you, that I’m suffering because of how stupid I was back then.“
„Would you take it back if you had the chance?“ you asked, but maybe it would be better not knowing the answer. For almost a whole year you hoped he regretted what he did and said. But you also feared he had zero regrets and actually was much happier than when you were a couple.
„Every single word. Even the ones I never said out loud.“
„That’s...“ You didn’t even know what you wanted to say. During the last year, when you thought about meeting Porco again, you thought you were ready. But now everything was different. Much more complicated. „Why is it so hard to find the right words all of a sudden?“ you asked with a quiet laugh.
„I’m asking myself the same question.“
„There is so much I wanted to tell you. So much I wanted you to know. About me and about us. But... right now... nothing seemed important anymore. All I know is that I... that I still... I still love you. Just like before all of that happened. I love you the same way I loved you a year ago and I know, that it’s never going to change.“
„I never stopped loving you. Quite the opposite. From that day forward I...“ Porco shook his head with a nervous smile and grabbed one of your hands, which was resting on the table. At first, you wanted to pull your hand away, but feeling the warmth radiating from his skin made you feel at ease. „I thought about you every single day. Even on the battlefield when I was fighting.“
„Wasn’t it distracting?“ you joked a little and that surprised the both of you.
„Motivating,“ Porco corrected you and squeezed your hand. „When I was thinking about you, I knew I needed to push forward under every circumstance.“ Holding hands was something that always helped you keep calm. „I knew I had to come back and try to make things right with you.“
„So you want to... you think we should try it again?“
He seemed hesitant, his eyes full of worry but also full of love. „I don’t know, Y/N. If you look at it, nothing changed during that year. You are still you and me... I am still me. We both live in a completely different world and we both know what my future holds.“
„That doesn’t change anything, Porco.“
„It changes so many things. Our whole future.“
„I love you,“ you said, looking straight into his face. „And I want to give our future a shot. Even if all we have are a couple of years.“ The urge to tell him the real truth about everything, every single little thing that happened over the last year, was growing stronger and stronger. He deserved to know, at least some of the things.
But was it the right time?
Did you really want to risk ruining this moment?
„You have to forget me and think about your future with someone, who is not going to leave you in a couple of years. With someone, who your family is going to accept by your side.“
„I don’t care about their opinion, Porco. Not anymore.“
The little coffee and tea shop was buzzing with life. People were coming and going, but nobody paid any attention to you or Porco. For them, you were just another young couple. Nobody knew anything about your lives. Nobody knew your story and all the pain behind it.
And that made you wonder how many of those people suffered because of something similar. How many of them had their heart broken by a partner or their family? How many of them changed because of the pain they weren’t able to chase away? Because of the pain, which was so intense it seemed unbearable and unending.
You were opening your mouth to speak up... to tell him the truth about the baby you were supposed to have, and about you being the new War Hammer Titan. But you bit your tongue in the last possible second and instead gave Porco the warmest smile you were capable of.
It felt better that way.
You didn’t even want to imagine him hurting and suffering the way you did.
„Look, I can’t force you to do anything. If you think, that it’s better if we stay apart... I’m gonna accept it. I just don’t want to argue anymore. I don’t want us to hate each other,“ you spoke at last, trying to take a couple of deep breaths to keep yourself calm and present at the moment.
„We can still be friends,“ Porco got out in a quiet voice, his index finger drawing tiny little circles onto your skin. „I don’t want you to disappear from my life completely.“
Deep down in your heart you knew, that it was the only way. Leaving Porco behind was the only correct thing to do, if you wanted to spare him from all that pain. But never seeing him again... that idea felt as if somebody was ripping your heart from your chest once again.
„I know you’ll have a wonderful life, Y/N,“ Porco spoke again, his thumb grazing over your left ring finger.
„What does it even mean, Porco? How does a wonderful life look like these days?“
He bowed his head, clearly not having the right answer. „I’m afraid you’ll have to ask someone else,“ he chuckled.
Sitting there and holding his hand felt so right. Once again, you felt like a younger and much, much happier version of yourself. Even if it only lasted for a couple of short minutes. Being with Porco reminded you how it felt to be truly alive.
And you missed that feeling dearly and instantly when you and Porco said your goodbyes for that day. On the other hand, you were glad he didn’t have more time and had to go. With all of the emotions floating around you were mere seconds from spilling all your secrets, just so he could help you carry your suffering.
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The night was mercilessly cold and almost unending, filled with thick dark clouds, loud thunder, and millions of raindrops. Sleep was avoiding you at all costs, because the only thing you were able to think about, was your meeting with Porco in the morning. When you closed your eyes, you could still feel his hand holding yours. You felt his warmth and his reassuring presence.
But when you opened your eyes once again, the only thing welcoming you back into reality was your old bedroom in the Tybur’s residence in Liberio. The whole family was here – your parents and siblings, even Willy’s wife and kids. You loved your nieces and nephews to bits, every single one of them. But they were always a handful. So full of energy all the time, that nobody could keep up with them.
A festival was set to take place in a couple of days. That was all you knew for now. Better said, that was all Willy wanted you to know. Your place was once again right behind his back, hidden under a mask and ready to threaten anybody, who even tried to disrespect your family.
You were so lost in your own thought, that the quiet knocking on one of your windows went completely unnoticed. But just until that someone knocked a bit louder, finally catching your attention. With furrower brows and a confused look, you threw one of the blankets over your shoulders and went over to the window. Right there, outside in the cold and pouring rain, was Porco Galliard. His hair was all wet and sticking to his forehead, his clothes drenched from rainwater.
„What the hell are you doing here?“ you asked and quickly opened the window. He was standing on the ledge under your window, holding onto one of the thinner decorative pillars which ran around the whole house.
„I forgot something pretty damn important in the morning.“
„What...“ Before you could finish what you were saying, Porco leaned in through the now-open window and pressed his lips against yours.
Your arms immediately wrapped around his waist, to keep him from falling off, while he leaned even closer to deepen your kiss. Was it really a whole year since you kissed his lips for the last time? Because when you closed your eyes at that very moment, it seemed as if no time had passed.
„I love you,“ he whispered a little out of breath, while you rested your foreheads together. Porco kept one of his hands on the back of your neck as if he feared you would run away. But that didn’t even occur to you. „I never stopped and I never will.“ He said something similar during your earlier meeting as well. But right now his words were full of completely different emotions.  
Without saying anything, you just kissed him again, one of your hands cupping his cheek. Feeling his lips against yours could never get old. It has always been one of the best feelings in the entire world. Right from the moment the two of you kissed for the first time.
„Come inside, you need to get those wet clothes off,“ you say, quickly giving him one more kiss before you help him climb inside. This wasn’t the first or the second time Porco has done that. By now he knew how to avoid the guards and sneak past them, to climb up into your room.
As soon as his feet touched the floor in your bedroom, his hands were on your hips, his lips once again in contact with yours. Without even thinking about closing the window to keep the cold out, you pulled his jacket off and tossed it onto the floor. The red armband on his sleeve was forgotten and never once thought about it during the rest of the night. For you, it meant nothing at all. The only important thing was Porco himself.
It was all so easy.
Almost too easy.
Easy to get all of his clothes off, just like many times before. Your fingers knew all too well what to do, while your lips stayed in touch with his, or while they were leaving sweet small kisses along his neck or jaw. It was as if the both of you stopped thinking completely and let your bodies be led by love and desire.
Porco’s warm hands worked magic with your body, he seemed so confident in every single thing he was doing. He knew you. Knew your body and what it liked and asked for. Soon all of your troubles were forgotten, even if only for a short time. Just until the two of you stayed tangled in between the bedsheets, enjoying moments filled with tenderness and affection. And love... so much love it actually made your head spin.
„What will happen next?“ Porco asked, his fingers playing without your hair, while your head was resting on his bare chest. Both of you were still a little flushed and out of breath, but also completely content and maybe even happy.
„I don’t know,“ you said, drawing little circles on his skin with your index finger.
„Do we just get back together? Despite knowing that...“ You lifted your head and kissed him before he had the chance to finish his words. You didn’t want to hear it. Or talk at all.
„What about we just enjoy tonight? And not think about anything else.“
You wanted to be with him. So, so, so bad. But looking back at the mess your life was, wishing for a future with Porco was silly. The Tyburs would never accept him into the family and with you owning the War Hammer, there was no chance that they would let you leave. Even if you and Porco ran away, they would find you. Probably anywhere in the world.
All you truly had, was that one night. Nothing more and nothing less. Only those couple of hours until the storm passed and the sun started to rise. And you spent those hours very wisely. Without talking and worrying, only by enjoying the presence of one another.
Felling his warm body pressed up against yours felt like the most beautiful dream come true. He spent hours playing with your hair or kissing your body in different places. All while you let your fingers trace the muscles all over his body, just to remember them better. You even risked looking him straight in the eyes for longer than a few seconds. And only because you wanted to remember their light hazel color forever. For as long as you’ll be alive.
Watching Porco get up and put on his clothes early in the morning was truly one of the most heartbreaking things you’ve ever had to face. Because while he probably thought, that you can have more nights like this one, you knew better. You knew, that this never could happen again.
But when you were saying your goodbyes, you made sure Porco didn’t suspect anything. Not even when you kissed him for the last time, while your already shattered heart was breaking all over again. Before he left, you lied to him, that you’ll have some important business to attend to with your siblings, so the two of you should meet sometime after the festival. Only because you hoped, that by that time you’ll be far away from Liberio once more.
Away from him and from everything you so desperately wanted to experience only with him by your side.
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When you and Porco kissed for the last time that morning, it never even occurred to you, that you truly won’t get another chance to taste his lips ever again. You never thought that you’ll watch as a Titan eats your own brother right before your eyes. Although Willy was preparing you for some kind of unexpected attack during the festival, you never imagined something similar.
„Promise me something,“ Willy said just a couple of minutes before he stepped onto the stage and began the long-awaited performance. You could see fear like never before in his eyes. „Whatever happens, you keep on fighting and keep on living.“
„As if I had such a long life ahead of me.“
„Y/N,“ he sighed, took a step closer, and pulled you into a tight hug. His actions surprised you, but you soon wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him back. „We both know what may happen in a couple of minutes. And I don’t want us to part on bad terms.“
You shook your head, quietly burying your face into your brother’s chest. It was better not knowing the reason why you came to Liberio this time. Because after he told you...
„I hope you’ll one day understand, why we chose you to be the next carrier of the War Hammer Titan. It wasn’t out of anger or hatred, please, never think that.“
„Our parents gave me no choice, Willy. And you know it, you and Lara were there as well. And you sided with them, not with me. None of you cared about what I had to say about all of that.“
There was something you never told him. And you were contemplating, if this was the right time. If this evening really turned out to be your brother’s last, it would be better to stay quiet. Better not to tell him about the pain you felt every single time you looked at his children – your beloved nieces and nephews. You would give your life for them, but every time you saw Willy or his wife with the kids, you remembered what you were forced to give up. You remembered the baby you were supposed to have with Porco.And in those moments you hated your parent and siblings to the point, that you could...
When it all happened, there was no time to even mourn your brother’s death.
You felt sick to your stomach, as you looked around and saw all those people – crushed and bleeding, on the verge of dying or already dead. Even you were injured pretty badly when Eren Jaeger attacked Liberio in his Titan form. But since you had titan powers yourself, it wasn’t such a big deal.
Not when you had to transform almost immediately and use the Har Hammer’s powers like never before. Eren was a skilled opponent, you had to admit that. Even more, when his devilish comrades from that damned island came to help him. But you did your best until the very end. You used all the power your Titan had and fought for your family and your homeland. Even the Marleyan military tried to help you before they had to face the attack from the Devils of Paradis. Commander Magath and his men were there, to make sure you devour Eren and become the new Founding Titan.
As you fought Eren Jaeger, you felt all of Marley’s eyes on you. Horrified civilians and the whole military were counting on you to put a stop to all of this madness. Just like everybody was counting on the other Warriors and their Titans.
At one moment, you were so close. All you needed, was one last hit to finish him off and gain his powers. But that same moment was the beginning of the end. Your end. Before you knew it, everything was in ruin and the crystal you were safely sealed in, was in your enemy’s hands. All kinds of different emotions overcame you, when you heard the War Hammer’s body fall to the ground, as the Attack and Founding Titan picked up the crystal from underneath the ruins.
That’s when you saw Porco’s Titan attack for the first time. He almost succeeded... almost.
You felt tears full of pain run down your cheeks, as you simply couldn’t do anything to help him. You couldn’t even help yourself. Eren was the one, who held your fate in his hands. And he very well knew, what he wanted to do with you. You tried to strike against him one last time and hold him in place, by using the last bits of your Titan’s powers. But after that, you could only watch and wait.
For death or redemption you probably never deserved.
Before you knew it, Eren was tossing the Jaw Titan around like a toy. You heard yourself scream Porco’s name as loud as you could until your voice gave out. But that changed nothing. Eren didn’t stop. He had a mission and he was determined to complete it. Basically... your life meant nothing to him, just like his life meant nothing to you.
So after he took care of Porco and tore all of the Jaw’s limbs off, he showed your crystal right into the Titan’s mouth. Between his exceptionally powerful teeth, which could bite even through metal or other similar strong surfaces.
Your crystal included.
You weren’t sure if Porco saw you inside the crystal. If he got to find out, that it was you all along. But you could swear, that you heard somebody scream your name just seconds before unimaginable pain took over your whole body and before everything went black before your eyes for good.
What did you feel in those final moments? Besides pain, a huge wave of relief washed over you. You never thought that you would die like this. But at least it mean that your suffering was finally ending. The crown, which was placed on your head forcefully, finally fell off and out of the reach of your family.
Maybe... maybe it was better this way.
Maybe... just maybe there was never good and evil. Only many different kinds of evil wearing mismatched masks while pretending to be good.
So when your consciousness faded away for the very last time, you actually felt a little smile form on your lips, just seconds before your tears were mixed with blood.
Right there, amongst the ruins of the city you were born in, Porco Galliard ended your life, when his Jaw Titan snapped your protective crystal to tiny pieces. And all that was left of you – the girl he so sincerely loved – was devoured by Eren Jaeger.
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rainylana · 1 year
Text
Through the window
summary: i’m turning this into a little mini series, if you will. just short segments about this friendship over the years! just something different i’m trying out! 
warnings: brief language and mentions of abuse.
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Meredith held her hands over her ears, face snotty with tears as her chest shook with the force of her sobs. The were fighting again, her parents, and the only comfort she had was the bracelet that Eddie had made her on her wrist, made out of guitar strings and a bead with the letter e on it.
Money problems, jealousy, alcoholism. It never really mattered what they fought about. They just fought for something to do. Eddie was really the only joy she got in her life. School was dull and boring. She had trouble making friends. But when she was with Eddie none of that mattered.
Their friendship was special, unique. Meredith was his lifeline at times, and she felt the same way about Eddie. Even only at thirteen years old, the two knew more about each other than most. They hung out almost everyday when they could, had sleepovers as long as they were supervised. Their favorite thing to do was hangout at the treehouse they made together with Wayne’s help, go fishing at lover’s lake and setting off fireworks. It didn’t really matter what they did as long as they were together.
Wayne didn’t have to worry so much about his nephew since Meredith had come along. He was happy he had such a good friend, but the man knew that Eddie was head over heals about this little girl. Puppy love at its finest. He stumbled over his words often, blushed beat red at the mention of her name. He only hoped in the end that the boy wouldn’t get hurt.
Meredith was a good kid and a positive influence on him. She was kind and respectful, positively happy and radiant with the life she was living, despite its negative impact on her. She was a ray of sunshine in Eddie’s life. Her wild red hair reflected her personality, her green eyes, a window to her soul. She had just a little lisp from the gap in her teeth, freckles spread around her cheeks. He called her a southern belle, with her twangy accident that made him laugh.
And she made Eddie’s life better. He’d only been living with Wayne for six months before she moved in, still having getting used to being abandoned by his father. Wayne worried he’d grow up alone, neglected by society. Meredith instilled faith in that hope. And here they were three years later.
However, little Meredith crying over her parents wasn’t something new, and how she yearned to go to Eddie. He made it better. He made everything better. He just knew how to say the right thing. He knew how her parents were, he’d lived with a monster himself. He knew the routine and the games they played, the abuse that was endured. Meredith didn’t deserve that. He wished he could take it all for her.
Of course, Eddie was blind to his feelings for her. He never really wondered why he enjoyed spending his time with a girl so much, it just always felt right, like she was his other half. He felt comfortable and complete when she was around. Like a puzzle finally connecting all together.
A tap at her window made her jump, an exciting chill running down her spine. She knew it was Eddie. Double checking to make sure her door was shut and locked, she flew up the curtains and smiled widely, meeting Eddie’s concerned face through the window. She held up her finger to her lips, signaling to be quiet as she slid it open.
“Hi.” She breathed, tucking back a red curl.
“Are you okay?” He looked at her sticky tears. “I could hear them fighting from across the street.”
She nodded, wiping her tears. “Yeah, it’s fine. I’m used to it.” She chuckled humorlessly. 
“You want to spend the night?” He asked, resting his arms against the windowsill. He’d grown a considerable amount since their first meeting. He was taller, hair was longer and down to his shoulder blades. Black and curly that matched her own waves.
“I probably shouldn’t again.“ She frowned. “Makes Mark angry if I’m gone too long.”
“I don’t like Mark. He’s an asshole.” He cursed, big brown eyes darkening in thought.
“Don’t curse, Eddie,” She said through wet lashes, looking at him like a doll. “Please, don’t be angry. It’s not worth it. Be happy.”
“You always say that.” He scoffed, shaking his head. “Not much to be happy about, if you ask me. You shouldn’t have to deal with them, Meredith.”
“I know,” She nodded, looking out at the night sky behind him. “But fake it till you make it, right? It works for me. Don’t worry about me. I promise it’s okay. I’m not hurt.”
His heart speed up and he reached through the window to grab her hand, giving it a loving pat. “Yeah, whatever you say, kid.”
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Little Bridgewater rant so long post
So y'all know how I was talking about how I don't like Thomas Bradshaw? Yeah well I was thinking about that and I've realized he's even more of a bitch than I thought cause if you think about his "plan" to save everyone it makes absolutely zero sense. Like, we know his reasons for being willing to go back into the liminal aren't bad. He's obviously suffering the side effects of his actual age and has made the most likely correct assumption that he doesn't have long in that world. Weather it's him just dying or being taken back in some way. And Alden, a completely innocent kid is left in there alone without deserving it and he wants to give him a second chance at a life. And the rift is open and things are getting out and killing people so someone has to close it. So at first glance his plan makes sense but when you give it like 5 minutes of thought it's completely ruined.
So obviously his main reason is because he feels survivors guilt and wants to get Alden out. Which inherently is selfish and more about himself and his guilt than it actually is about Alden because what kind of life does he think Alden is gonna have? Why doesn't he think that the effects of age are gonna fuck up his body in the way it's been fucking up Thomas's? And if he does think that'll happen, why does he think a 7 year old body suffering the effects of actually being alive for almost 90 years is gonna go better than a 30 year old body suffering the effects of being alive for 70 years?
And on top of that, who's gonna take care of this kid? They never asked Jeremy and obviously if they had he would've said no. Not cause he doesn't care but because he's already expressed that he doesn't want to be a dad plus he is a fucking teacher idk what makes them think he's got the money to be a single father for a kid he doesn't want. Obviously Liv and Vipin are too young, and though Shelly MIGHT have said yes she's already middle aged with two kids of her own and SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ALDEN EXISTS. The only two people who actually give a genuine shit about this kid are the capable adults that are gonna disappear from the universe for this outcome
So let's say he shows up and doesn't have any bad effects? Well now there's no one to take care of him so who are they gonna give him too? Well they can't give him to foster care because no one knows who this fucking kid is. Honestly someone would probably be arrested in the process of them trying to get him in the system cause why the fuck do they have a child with no proof he even exists? And if they try to figure out his identity through DNA or some shit it'll get them nowhere cause either he won't be in the system or they'll randomly have a missing child that should be 87 by now. They literally express that Thomas wouldn't be able to have a life cause of this exact thing, and that he might be taken by the government or something for testing, why does he think it'll go any different for Alden?
Anyway let's say he has no negative side effects and someone in the main cast miraculously agrees to raise him. He still can't have a life without risking that whole last paragraph. He can't go to school and is more or less gonna have to live off the grid his whole life.
So yeah I never ever ever wanna hear Thomas say this shit isn't all about him at the end of it cause it's obvious that he simultaneously cares more about Alden then getting to know either of his actual children or grandchildren, but doesn't care enough about Alden to put any actual thought into what getting him out will actually mean. He just wants to get rid of his survivors guilt with a good cause put in front of it like a shield while also getting to spend the next 40 years of nothing with the love of his life despite it actively depriving two people of a mother/mother figure and two people of a grandmother, especially considering one of those people is a 12 year old boy. Sure Jeremy's a little out of it atm but at least he sees it's useless and is trying to find another way, Thomas never put any actual energy into this and Anne will just do whatever he asks of her if she thinks it'll help someone.
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simlit · 2 years
Note
Taryn 5, 6, 7, 8, 13, 15, 22, 25
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What character from myth or fairytale best represents them?
Hades; Reasonable, fair and introverted. Neither a hero nor a villain. Spends lifetimes alone, and in that isolation, discovers Yehl and binds himself to him completely. He loves Yehl for all of things he is that Taryn isn't and can never be. Despite their initial union being founded on hatred and manipulation, he comes to treat him with reverence and affection. By others, he's feared, but through his relationship with Yehl finds his own happiness.
If your OC was a character in a novel from literary canon who would they be?
Raskolnikov | Crime & Punishment; Intelligent and attractive, with little ambition to pursue personal goals. People either love and respect him for his wit and manner, or despise his aloofness and contempt for others. Like Raskolnikov, Taryn is only spurned to action for a perceived "greater good", but also as a way to circumvent his own responsibility. He believes he can do, and get away with anything because he is smarter and stronger than others, but in the face of real commitment, still falls short.
If your OC were to live in some other time period, which era would they be best suited for?
Either 1920s or current year. I think he's well adapted for a world that cares little for him, and that he can care little for. But I think he would chafe against industrialization.
Is your character bilingual or multilingual? Which language are they most comfortable in or prefer using? How did they come to learn them?
He is multilingual. In lore, dragons in their true forms have no spoken language. It's simply a sensation of thought (something akin to telepathy). During the first age, Drazuline scholars invented a written language to record and archive history. After the birth of elves, Celesta gave dragonkin the gift of the elven language in an attempt to bridge differences, and later in life, as king, he comes to learn the languages of men.
What is a common misconception about your OC?
Many expect him to be violent and aggressive, or at the very least coldhearted, but realistically he is none of those things, and only uses force when necessary, though he is unlikely to regret it.
What is some advice or guidance they received that had a big impact on their lives or outlook? Was it a positive or negative impact?
Taryn remembers little specifics about his younger years, and has only fleeting memories of his mother. Still, she imparted a vision of the world to him which was peaceful and cohesive; one that worked in unison with nature. Though she never told him as much in words, his concept of how the world should look and operate is based on her ideals. Despite his own personal prejudices and ideas of justice, he would overlook the hatred in his heart to achieve her vision. It is because of her that he goes to the elvenlands to find her and bring the wars to an end. He wants peace between all peoples, not because he loves them or thinks they deserve it, but because it's what his mother/God wanted.
Which “tortured artist” does your OC share the most similarities with?
Marlon Brando; Less promiscuous and temperamental, but shares the same gravitas and bravado. Taryn is often calm and usually levelheaded, but does have an ego of his own, and a sense of superiority and entitlement deeply rooted in being not only a dragon, but the son of a god, though he'd never admit it. He's used to being stronger than everyone around him, and levying that power. He expects to get what he wants, either believing or knowing himself to be smarter than those he sees as opponents, and can be one-track minded. Like Brando, he cares little about other's opinions about him. And also shares the actor reverence for the natural unspoilt world.
What does your OCs handwriting look like? 
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“Oh, Merlin, tell me, does THE ALCHEMIST get what he deserves?” He is in THE DEATH EATERS & OPEN to finding out. 
— he walks through the world as ;
name → severus snape pronouns → he/him identification → cis male year of birth → september 1959 - september 1960 face claim → viveik kalra blood status → half-blood sexual orientation → up to applicant occupation → potioneer at mr mulpepper’s apothecary in knockturn alley future information → traitor to the death eaters, eventual member of the order of the phoenix
— he is best described as ;
DARK and GLOOMY like that of a closed off lab. The SOLITUDE one finds when alone in their room, a LONER who prefers to get lost in HISTORY than the present day. He’s a SHARP TONGUE poised in defense, ready to FIGHT the threats that come his way. An OUTSIDER who shaped himself to fit in with the crowd. With a COLD HEART, he TURNS his BACK on those who once offered him a hand.
— his story starts with ;
Severus Snape always believed himself to be the smartest person in the room. He was the only born child to a Muggle, Tobias Snape, and a witch, Eileen Prince, who lived in Spinner’s End. From a young age Severus had been a curious boy, preferring the company of books and journals to the children that lived near him. Unusual for someone so young, Severus enjoyed the peace and quiet that came from being alone. No siblings to follow him around, no friends to continuously pull him away from his books, his room became a sanctuary of silence and Severus thrived in it. Despite his mother’s worries that he should start making friends, he stayed put with his abnormally large nose buried deep in his books. Finally realizing her words were falling on deaf ears, Eileen left him to his room, especially as time went by and Tobias grew colder. A man that never saw fatherhood in his future, Tobias spent most of his time in Spinner’s End wasting away with a glass of whiskey in hand. The only acknowledgement he’d give to his family was a scolding for the littlest of things. Severus grew to hate his father and his Muggle side, though he was never brave enough to admit that to Tobias, and instead let the feelings fester year after year.
With his father being the result of his disdain for all things Muggle, Severus leaned heavily into his wizarding side of the family. His thoughts were if Muggles could be this cold and cruel to their own blood, what were they like towards strangers? He enjoyed his sheltered life, not even realizing what else the world had to offer to him. Locked in the four walls of his room, Severus tried to drink in as much information as he could. To Severus, knowledge was power and if yielded correctly, he could do anything. His lonely world changed though the day he met LILY EVANS [former friend/object of affection]. Passing her by chance on the street one day, he extended a rare hand of friendship. A Muggle-born witch, Lily had no knowledge of abilities she possessed, let alone anything of the Wizarding world and Severus was more than happy to fill her in. Normally one to stick to his own devices, the wizard enjoyed the complete awe on Lily’s face as he spoke of magical creatures, wizarding shops, and most importantly Hogwarts. They became inseparable, spending many afternoons sitting by the lake near Lily’s home exchanging stories. Soon enough when September 1st rolled around, they were both boarding the scarlet train to school.
Quickly being sorted into Slytherin, he had to watch from his table as Lily anxiously made her way to Gryffindor, her new house and his rival. The jealousy that flowed through him as he watched her make new friends, unbeknownst to either of them those new friends would become his biggest enemies. The idea of spending their Hogwarts years together came crashing down but Severus distracted himself by befriending his roommates, JASPER AVERY [close friend] and LARKIN MULCIBER [close friend]. They formed a close knit trio, targeting those they deemed less worthy of magic with pranks. Having a rather silent childhood, Severus enjoyed his roommates' company in small doses, often finding his nose back in a book when they weren’t around. His loner attitude is what drew a target on his back to JAMES POTTER [adversary], SIRIUS BLACK [adversary], REMUS LUPIN [adversary], and PETER PETTIGREW [adversary]. Known as the Marauders, they were famous amongst all the students. And Severus could only sit back and watch as even Lily wasn’t completely immune to their charms. Severus could feel his position in her life fading away the closer she got to the Gryffindor boys.
What had started as a curious eye following the boys whenever they approached Lily at the Gryffindor table, it quickly grew to an obsession. James, the Marauders ringleader, was the first one to show signs of dislike towards Severus and his little gang of brothers quickly followed. Words would be exchanged and more often than not spells would follow. Severus truly despised James; he was arrogant and egocentric and Severus had no idea how someone like that could capture Lily’s affections so quickly. Years had put a heavy strain on his friendship with Lily, although they both tried to keep it alive but the differences in friend groups grew too strong. In his spare time, the Slytherin found himself trailing the boys, determined to prove they were hiding something. Never in his wildest of dreams did Severus ever think he’d owe a life debt to Potter. A horrible prank orchestrated by Black to invite Severus along turned into the Slytherin coming face to face with Lupin during his werewolf transformation, a stag being the creature to rescue him from his classmate during the full moon. It wasn’t until meeting with PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE [former headmaster] that he discovered the stag had been Potter in his animagus form.
The result of the disastrous prank had the wizard keeping his distance from all the Gryffindors, pushing himself into his classwork, excelling in DADA and Potions specifically. Though spell invention was something that came as a surprise to him. The Levicorpus spell had quickly become popular, and not knowing Severus was the creator of the charm, James used it to humiliate him in front of Lily and his friends. That was the day the last thread of their friendship fell apart, not taking into consideration the crowd that had gathered the Slytherin had uttered the horrid word ‘mudblood’ as Lily attempted to defend and help him. Things happened too quickly and the only thing he could remember was watching Lily turn her back on him forever. After that Severus fell further into the crowd of Slytherins, welcoming the invitation from Larkin’s older brother to meet with a wizard known by the name, THE DARK LORD [leader] after graduation. Fueled by how things ended in his last years of Hogwarts with the Marauders and Lily, the Half-Blood wizard signed himself up for the cause. 
Having secured a job at Mr. Mulpepper’s Apothecary in Knockturn Alley, Severus had found himself unsure of the cause until he was thrust into the spotlight. His first significant mission had him teaming up with his fellow Death Eaters LUCIUS MALFOY [acquaintance] and REGULUS BLACK [acquaintance] at the Yule Ball of 1983 that had ended in a disaster after they failed to kill the proper target. He was then sent to retrieve a prophecy that had previously failed to get in the Dark Lord’s grasp, from the Fountain of Fair Fortune with Regulus and ALEXANDRA ROSIER [acquaintance]. Thankfully that mission had turned around in their favor and he had been branded with the Dark Mark as a reward. Having been instructed by the Dark Lord to lay low after the Summer Solstice ball, Severus has been busying himself with his work. The potion making is tedious but it has kept his mind occupied to think on the decisions that have led him to 1986. He felt he had been making the right decision in joining these dark crusades at the time but now things have mellowed, Severus was giving more time to think about things and what having this tattoo etched into his arm will mean for his future.
— he is a LEVEL 7 WIZARD & readied for war ;
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signalwatch · 1 year
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90's Watch: Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead (1991)
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Watched:  02/09/2023
Format:  HBOmax
Viewing:  First
Director:  Stephen Herek
Sometimes a movie goes off the rails so fast and so hard, feels cynically produced on top of that, that it's hard not to just get mad, fold your arms and complain til the credits roll.  For the past 32 years, I'd successfully not seen Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead (1991), which came out when I was 16 and was working through my Gen-X feelings of rejecting things I felt were marketed at me - but specifically at a very dumb version of me the people selling me stuff mostly took to be an idiot.
In 1991, Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead was *heavily* sold at teen audiences with ads on MTV and elsewhere running seemingly non-stop.  Certainly I saw  trailers before other movies.  And you always knew:  if the movie looks like this, and they're advertising it this hard, it's because it sucks and they need to get people in before word spreads.  
There was a long tail of 1980's-style comedy into the 1990's, enough so that it probably deserves its own niche, but this movie feels like a 1987 release more than something that would hit at the same time as Home Alone. 
The pitch is this:  
Kids are left at home for two months under the care of a mean old lady.  She dies in the first ten minutes, and the kids dispose of her and accidentally the money they were to survive on.  For reasons, they do not want Mom to know (and Dad has some mysterious shadiness about him that is never teased out).  
Instead of BOTH teens getting jobs so they can survive, only one does (Applegate).  She works for a day at Clowndog (which looks like a very bad job, but a very fun place to eat), and then lies her way into a job at a fashion/ uniform company as an executive assistant.  And never worries about getting caught.  Even as she steals from the petty cash.
Kids learn life lessons.  Romance is found.  The ending makes zero sense.
You can blame the director for this, but Stephen Herek directed a number of watchable films, from Critters to Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure to some big-budget, successful, live-action Disney films. In short - I think he knows what he's doing, or especially did in the 1990's.  But if he also shot what was on the page for this movie, then... you know, these writers more or less don't have a track record after this movie that I'd write home about.
Curiously, this entire family lacks scruples while also having a complete lack of charm or any redeeming qualities.  Movie:  this stuff is important if you want people to care about the ending.  Counting on the audience being dumb kids only sells so many tickets.  At least try to make us care whether the children live or die.  I mean, we've already shown a curious callousness to life and death once in the movie.  What's one or two kids less?  But the kids all get one character goal and spend the duration whining about whatever their thing is.  There's no love or even hate between them.  They merely co-exist in space.
Despite a really solid title that promises a dark comedy full of hijinks, we get a pretty basic "fakin' it til you're makin' it" comedy made popular in the 80's with Working Girl and The Secret of My Success welded onto a teen summer romp about being a dipshit.  And, despite the fact it looks like a comedy, there's almost nothing present to illicit actual laughter.  I laughed audibly exactly once, at a supporting character's choice to clutch a jar of M&M's as a coping mechanism.  
The set ups of the film intended to provide our hero with challenges all seem to point to:  this girl is going to jail.  And she is going to jail because she's an idiot and everyone else in her family is an asshole, from youngest kid to absentee, lying mom who has skipped the continent to go bang a shepherd. 
What's odd about the "makin' it" business aspect is that she... doesn't?  She hands all of her work to Kimmy Robertson, and her solution for saving the company is to turn their industrial uniforms into highly 1980's-specific and impractical designs that seem like they'd just bring more shame on the workers than a smock or a golf shirt.*  
Either one of these movies might have been fun on their own, but together...  
It feels like no one sat down with the script and said "does this make sense?"  Like - ok, I'll buy the shitty mom also didn't tell the kids who she was hiring to babysit them for two months.  I'm not sure how this old bag was qualified or why she thought making the kids miserable was not going to get back to the mom.  Ignore all that.  Babysitter is dead within 10 minutes.
But I also don't get what the kids thought was going to happen when they had to explain to their mom they threw away a corpse.  Like - that woman presumably had friends and maybe people who loved her...  The movie could have set it up so that wasn't true, but it didn't.  They just throw her away.  (Apparently Bad Mom also left 2 months worth of cash?  Jesus, lady.).
But it also does weird little things like - they give the kids two cars, but then one is stolen partway through the movie (by drag queens.  And that plot point never, ever returns...  when it so easily could have).  Like... why?  Why one car?  It makes whole chunks of the movie not make sense.  Like - did they call an ambulance to the farm?  Did they get a ride?  
Look, I could spend an hour naming Things In Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead That Could Have Easily Not Happened And/ Or Been Fixed.  I will spare you.  When other people think that's criticism, I find it both dubious and annoying.  I mean, I am 100% right about all my thoughts on this, but I doubt I will sway anyone who loves the movie for any reason.  Shine on, you crazy diamonds.
But, jesus.  This is the laziest @#$%ing movie.
It also costars Joanna Cassidy, who I know mostly from Blade Runner, and who is clearly in a wig here but allowed to be over 40 and hot, which is shocking for the period.  And it has John Getz, who was the main guy in Blood Simple, here being horny at Christina Applegate.  Josh Charles plays Applegate's paramour and he's... fine.  David Duchovny is there to show you what happens when no one knows what to do with you as an actor.  I think the secretary/ Josh Charles' sister played Admiral Cornwell on Star Trek: Discovery.  
The movie is wisely anchored by Applegate, who was most famous at this point as Kelly from Married... With Children and seemed ready for bigger things.  If the movie is watchable, it's that Applegate is watchable and likable, and not playing a broad, dumb character.  Her scenes with Joanna Cassidy and John Getz suggest a better movie that doesn't exist when they aren't on the screen.  But it's hard to sell to boys wanting to see Applegate a movie when she's on TV every week, and I don't think the movie did a great job of marketing the Makin' It portions of the film.  Applegate's career is worthy of discussion because she's proven multiple times she's hilarious, but she has to be the straight man here to literally everyone.
Who knows what happened from script to production to the editor's block?.  Anything could have.  And probably did.
I will possibly try this movie again in another 32 years to reconsider.  
  *I say this as someone who worked back-to-back at Chuck E. Cheese and The Disney Store
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angelrosemontecillo · 3 months
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A Mother's Love
Each one of us has a family. Family to rely on, supporting and giving love to each other. Always be by your side through your ups and downs. People whom you can trust and count on. Molding you to become a better person and showing you a sense of oneness or belonging. Family teaches you the meaning of love, which you carry on forever in your heart.
My family seems fine at all. It's almost perfect. We were happy and healthy. We are financially stable and are not struggling to make ends meet. We shared laughter and sorrow. We build a harmonious relationship. We faced different challenges but remained strong. We also have a lot of memories that have left a huge mark on our hearts. But we'd never expect we had to be apart from our father. Our father had these vices; he used to gamble, drink liquor, and use drugs. He even sold our 13 "trisikad," but before we achieved that amount of thirteen trisikad, my father put in a lot of effort and dedication to make that happen. He works very hard to sustain our daily needs through riding trisikad. First, we only have one trisikad, and then, through our father's hard work, we attain the thirteen trisikad. He showed effort at first, but he chose the wrong path and became a miserable person. That's why my mother decided to leave and sacrifice their marriage for our own sake. But it's not the end of our lives; we may not be complete, but I still have a loving mother and supporting siblings, and it's still called family.
The new chapter of our lives has begun. I am the youngest in our family, raised now by a single mom who has been our guiding light. With a brother and a sister, our small family found comfort in the love and support our mother provided. Despite our modest lives, my mother's care made every day feel like a warm embrace.
In my younger years, I didn't fully grasp the depth of my mother's sacrifices. It all seemed normal to me. But as I grew older, I began to see the immense love she had for us. She worked tirelessly to meet our needs, filling the void left by our absent father. Her dedication and selflessness became clearer with each passing day. My mother's love for us knew no bounds. She worked tirelessly to provide for our needs, juggling multiple jobs and sacrificing her own desires to ensure our happiness. She taught us the importance of kindness, empathy, and resilience, instilling in them values that would shape our character.
My mother understood the significance of education and instilled in our minds that education is very significant in our lives in order for us to achieve our dreams and have a better life. She would spend countless hours helping us with our homework, cheering us on during school performances, and celebrating our accomplishments. And I have this on my mind that I will strive hard to graduate and to show it to my mom that I did it. I will give this education as a gift to her because that's the only thing that can make your parents happy and proud. And to show them that their sacrifices had finally paid off.
As the years went by, my mother faced numerous challenges, both financial and emotional. There were times when she felt overwhelmed and exhausted, but she never let me, my brother, or my sister see her falter. She remained a pillar of strength, always putting our needs before her own. Despite the absence of a father figure, my mother made sure that I, my brother, and my sister never felt a void in their lives. Through her unwavering love, my mother showed us that we were never alone and that we could achieve anything we set in our minds.
I harbored a dream of securing a job that would not only bring me success but also allow me to give my mother the life she truly deserved. I wanted to repay her for all the sacrifices she made to ensure our well-being. As my sister neared graduation, we made a pact to enhance our mother's life, fulfilling her wishes and making her days brighter. Together, my sister and I vowed to provide our mother with the comforts she had longed for. We planned to gift her a beautiful home, jewelry, and all the things she had ever desired. Our goal was to see her smile and to express our gratitude for her unwavering love and support.
In the journey of life, my mother's love has been the anchor that has kept us grounded. It inspired me to strive for a better future, not just for myself but to bring joy to the woman who gave us everything. As we move forward, our mission remains clear: to create a life for our mother that reflects the love and care she showered upon us.
Our story is one of resilience, love, and the unbreakable bond of family. I've learned how to be a better person. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have a beautiful family that has instilled valuable ideals in me. I express my sincere gratitude to God for this priceless gift. Through our actions, we aim to repay the immeasurable debt of gratitude we owe to our mother, ensuring that her days are filled with happiness and contentment.
A mother's love is a special and unconditional bond between a mother and her child. A mother's love is a beautiful and extraordinary gift that should be cherished and celebrated. Family is very important. It gives stability, instills morals, and offers emotional support. Our familial ties are something we should treasure and protect since they help to mold our personalities, provide us joy, and leave a lasting legacy that improves both our lives and the lives of coming generations. Its importance cannot be emphasized as it is the center and essence of our lives.
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poetrecks · 4 months
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Journal 1
Maybe this day you will cry while grunting at how unfair it is.
You, in front of the mirror, woke up alone, clueless, sad, and broken. Sleep deprived, eyes swollen, hair disheveled. You can’t even recall the last time that you cleansed your face. It doesn’t matter if you smell bad because no one is there. You simply gaze into the mirror, questioning whether you still have the will to continue.
How unfair.
You have a hazy appetite. You crave food to make you feel less alone, but you know that eating will only make you feel sicker, so you resist the urge to eat. Refusing to go to sleep early because she might finally respond, and you don’t want to miss that. You withdraw from the outside world, and the thought of even a fragment of sunshine reaching your skin makes you want to die.
Unfair… Unfair…
You continue to cry despite the internet's ludicrous three-month rules. You plead with the gods in front of the calendar to make January the month where things start to turn around. To have enough courage to remove the thousands of images of her on this day.
Unfair. Fucking unfair.
Where her voice and fragrance cling to your shoulder like a ghost, where she used to kiss you, you are trapped. You execute worse than you did beforehand. Your lips are more blistered, your skin is drier, and your body is in shambles from the red blemishes from the cats you cuddled to keep you company. You are becoming more and more ugly.
Unfair… Unfair…
You spend the entire day staring at nothing, so you forget what day it is. Hearing your mom holler at you to get your crap together. You no longer find it upsetting to hear your younger brother cry because he makes exactly the noises in your mind.
It's not fair; it's unfair. While she's well, thriving, and improving, you are at the lowest point of your life.
Even though you know you want her to be fine, it drives you crazy that she isn't grieving as much as you are. She has completely stopped thinking about you. Somewhere in her apartment, your photos went missing, burned, or were cut. The handshakes she receives every weekend take the place of your fragrance. Your voice is inaudible; thus, she won't be able to hear you laugh if you do so right next to her. She's meeting new people and creating memories in a new setting.
And you're either giddy, drowsy, or overindulged in caffeine, as you wrote. It's possible that you are dehydrated or that the flavor of cigarettes is making your mouth dry. You have no idea what's going on, except for the fact that you are still here and she has moved on.
Unfair, right?
You can't hate her; you just want to be furious, but not at her. It makes you want to lash out at yourself. But it's just too much. You feel worn out, depressed, nervous, hungry, drowsy, and disoriented. It merely makes the already overwhelming amount of self-hatred worse. And in that instant, you finally get a sharper image of yourself in the mirror. What a pity. How terribly desperate am I? Will I truly remain this way forever?
Finally, you have a chance to select the right statement for you. "Take a break for yourself."
Unfair
But now that you think about it, perhaps she experienced this as well; she's just moved past this stage. Maybe she had difficulty at first as well, but eventually she succeeded. Perhaps there were occasions when she reassured herself, looking in the mirror, that she didn't deserve anything you gave her. She probably found it difficult to move on.
Both of you were wounded. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean the pain won't stop because she moved on first.
When you finally get to your feet, you wash your face first. Feel the cool water caressing your cheek bruises, like it's trying to reassure you that everything will be well. Your world is not going to end here.
Being left behind doesn’t mean you’ll be there forever. Give up viewing everything as a race. Just make sure to stand up and start going your way. Be at ease with being by yourself. You can do this. You are free to carry on.
She deserves the peace that she is experiencing, even though you do not deserve to be entangled in your own misery.
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seven-pleiades · 8 months
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Nothing will ever ever be good enough for my mom. I'm constantly on the verge of burn out to not be a disappointment and end up completely being a disappointment because I'm so burnt out. (More under the cut sorry I am venting today)
Even from a young age it was always "study hard at school" i did. I was predicted the highest of grades. I burned out and got average grades.
Then it was "do well at college" I did. Again burned myself out to the point of dropping out.
She made me feel worthless so I went back and got my A levels.
Then it was "get a degree". I did but because it wasn't a 1st. The second highest level "will suffice".
Then it was "get a job" i did. I stayed in an job too long where I get death threats, SA threats, general abuse all day to the point where I had to go on sick because I was terrified of what she'd say.
I got a new job. I'm happy here. I'm doing GREAT at my new job. And it's "when are you getting a promotion"
I literally felt unwell last week and had the day off. I attempted to go in the next day and literally tripped over them passed out and told the person helping me 'no it's ok I'll jber to work' when they said they'd call someone at home because I was in no right state to go to work I said "can you talk to my mom she won't believe me". How PATHETIC. I, a 24 year old had to tell someone to call my mom.
Literally laying in bed crying and feeling once again, like nothing. Because she makes me feel like nothing. I go to work all day she still expects me to do 200 things for her when I get back. And if I don't? I'm "lazy" and "useless" and "welcome to the real world".
For context, my mom doesn't work. She hasn't worked in the whole 24 years of my life. Is this projection? Because she has nothing to show for herself? Probably. Is it my and my siblings fault that she hasn't been successful? In her mind? Absolutely. She tells us everyday.
Oh seven why don't you just move out? I can't. It takes time, money, the right place that's not a million miles to work and despite me not wanting to be here or her even deserving me to be here. I'm the only one here. Deep down I have this duty to look after her and not abandon her.
I don't have any friends or family in the area to even move out for a short time. I don't know how much more of this treatment I can take. I don't want to burn out again and lose my job that I actually like and enjoy.
There are countless other times my mom just treats me like shit. Whether it's how I choose to spend my little free time, my weight and appearance, what I eat, how I dress, the fact I don't have a partner.
I vent to my very few close friends and I feel so bad. They have their own shit to deal with.
I just feel very alone and I'm struggling and I'm at a complete loss.
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allamericansbitch · 11 months
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I’m 22 and I never dated, I had my first kiss at 16 and then I met a guy that was very abusive and thank God! it ended fast, then i fell for a classmate and we used to kiss at parties 🫠 but he didn’t wanted me as something more, it was hard, but I moved on.
Then reconnect with a nice guy at 17 who was kind and gentle and fell for him. But despite being single and saying he found me attractive, he didn’t want anything with me, bc the love of his life was his ex girlfriend (that had a new bf), so we ended up as friends for yeeears (talking every day), but I was in love with him, so every time he followed a new pretty girl back, my insecure self used to get really hurt thinking oh it’s not only his ex, it’s just that I’m not enough for him. After 5 years knowing each other, 3 in love with him I said that it was for the best for we to not be friends anymore and he easily accepted, unfollowed me everywhere and we never talked again.
For context, my parents are splitting up now after 32 yo together and they had a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage :/ When I’m on the internet I see so many abusive stories, cheating, bad relationships, chaos etc. It got too much.
I assimilated so hard that relationships are bad that I closed myself down completely.
So I haven’t kissed anybody in 5 years, going on 6. I actually forgot that relationships are a thing. I genuinely lost track of time completely. But now I’m not 16 anymore, I’m 22 going 23. I’m an adult who was never in a romantic relationship, despite having kissed people I know I never even had my feelings reciprocated. And I got used to it tbh, I don’t miss something I never had or that may not even exist.
But my best friend it’s now in an exchange program and she tells me how her bf spends every night with her on face time so she doesn’t sleep alone. He worked all summer to buy a ticket to see her. I’m genuinely happy for her, she deserves it, she’s absolutely amazing!!! But I cannot lie that this opened an old wound, am I really that unloveable?
Tbh I can’t imagine having a guy reciprocating my romantic feelings, caring for me and genuinely liking me for me.
you're not unlovable at all simply because one person didn't act accordingly with your feelings. if he knew you liked him and he did not want to pursue something, he should have cut ties and respected you enough to not lead you on like that. them not acting accordingly should not reflect back on you in any way. them not liking you back does not make you unlovable either- we can't force feelings with people. if someone asked you out and you didnt want to date them, you wouldn't describe that person as unlovable. i'm sure there are so many people who will love you if you actually allow them to. if you dont want to date then don't, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but if you want to be loved you have to start opening up and allowing it to happen.
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