#cw personal stuff (but im vague about it??)

[purgemarchlockdown]

On Muu for a bit: Id like to say theres a balance here of not…horrifically demonizing a teenage girl but also not acting as if she doesn't perpetuates some really shit power structures.

Muu T2 VD:

Muu: Wow, poor thing... I’ll teach you! Friends aren’t like that, you know. Rather than using each other for something, we just get along because we’re comfortable around each other. That’s all. Es: Well, I’m sorry about that. Muu: Haruka-kun is really nice! He accepts anything I say, he listens to anything I tell him. For me, that’s really comfortable. Es: And that’s… “friendship”? Muu: What do you mean? Of course we’re friends! Haruka-kun is happy with it, so it only has benefits for both of us! Es: I, as someone who has no friends, can’t judge, of course, but isn’t that just exploitation? Muu: Exploitation…? Um, I don’t really understand, but… I do help him pick out clothes [in return], and I recently gave him a hairpin I didn’t need anymore as a hand-me-down!

Now this isn't the greatest sign but Es and Jackalope have shown to be unreliable and while it might not be entirely Healthy, healthy relationships are like a wild unicorn in this place. I'm a 0308 friendship supporter I can't argue Just On This.

Except...

You know how Haruka's mother keeps tropical fish that showcases how her mistreatment of Haruka is even worse because she clearly has the time and money and doesn't invest it in her child? (Post found! It's this one by red-moon-at-night thanks to @/tokyogruel for informing me!) Muu T1 Interrogation:

T1Q14: Hobbies? A: Taking care of tropical fish. They're small and cute.

Haruka T2 VD:

Haruka: Muu-san is my mother.

Through association we can infer that Muu probably thinks of Haruka as "small and cute, like a pet"

Here's a question: Why do abuse victims stay in abusive relationships? There's a lot of very complex answers for this because of the nature of the question but here's two possible reasons:

The victim feeling that the relationship is a mix of good times, love and hope along with the manipulation, intimidation and fear. The victim's lack of knowledge of or access to safety and support

We already Know Haruka is Willing To Let Himself Be Hurt if it means Staying Together With Muu.

Haruka: So what if she’s using me? Isn’t it a good thing to be used? For someone to think of me as worthy enough to use me… isn’t that something to be happy about? Es: Haruka… you… Haruka: If you don’t forgive Muu-san, I’m going to kill you. Es: You really have no learning ability whatsoever. You can’t kill me. Haruka: Ah, right… Then… I’ll die.

And We already know Muu has a history of participating in these sort of structures as the perpetrator of them.

I don't think Muu would PURPOSEFULLY mistreat Haruka. I don't even think Muu is a master manipulator or anything. Muu can be as Nice and Genuinely Helpful as she wants but, that doesn't mean she Cannot harm Haruka.

I'm not going to Say she is, but it is something she did Before, and I think we gotta keep that in mind when it comes to how she and Haruka interact.

#its late at night this might be messy as shit #Plus personally Haruka and Muu remind me too much of some stuff and I just....its a thing #cw abusive relationships #idk how to tag this #oh god I just realized this looks like im vaguing about a post I reblogged- #no im not I swear Im just a bit frustrated with something I noticed a few weeks ago

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

[gh0st-in-green-c0nverse]

im the person who asked about the vague thing, and i mainly asked cause im terrible at specific prompts/requests(?? is there a difference idk) LMAOAOSOS

BUT BUT HERES THE REQUEST!!!! percy jackson x gn reader hurt/comfort??

TY FOR DOING THIS IF YOU DO LOVELY 🫶🫶🫶

thank you so much!!! and of course!

here’s a little something while I work on pt 2 of golden! sorry for the wait, I’ve been super overwhelmed with school n extracurricular stuff :(( cw: violence and fear

frosted glass (percy jackson x reader)

The fluorescent lights are making your eyes water.

“Look. Look!”

An unforgiving hand grabs you by the face and turns you to him. You meet sea-green eyes, narrow and seething.

“You did this, Perseus. All for that little potion.”

You know you look bad. Your cheekbone is painted an ugly purple, eyes bruised with bags. Crusted blood tracks from your nose. It itches. Your throat burns. “No,” you force out through your teeth, breathing hard. “This wasn’t your fault—”

Knuckles knock against your teeth, sudden and biting, and an ache blooms across your top lip. That’ll swell, you think, and you can feel it start to.

“Just hand it over, and we’ll let you both go.”

Percy doesn’t have the bottle. You do — a small glass vial filled with golden, syrupy liquid. It brings someone back to life, if only for a few minutes. Chiron needs it urgently, but so does this boy.

He looks only a little older than the two of you, with wiry blonde hair and vengeful eyes that glint a brilliant blue. He wants— no, needs to speak with his mother. He’s an Ares kid, if you remember correctly, and a deserter. If you’d had two vials, you’d share it. But in his desperation, his love for his mother had turned into hatred for you, and he was, after all, his father’s son. Rage was in his blood. He punches you again.

Percy lunges forward, but there are arms threading under his and locked on either side of his head, so he’s not going anywhere. He looks so angry it would've scared you if you hadn’t known that he’d never hurt you, not even if his life depended on it.

Your head bounces off the ground as you’re thrown down. Percy lunges again, but this time he breaks free and rushes to you.

“Are you okay?” He’s saying before he even kneels. You were bracing yourself up on your forearms, having fallen face first. He turns you forward gently, helping you into a sitting position.

“Mhm,” you hum. “I’m fine.”

You’re not fully sure where you are. You’d been woken up by a punch to the jaw, and you hadn’t had much time to take stock of your surroundings since then. It looks like the back room of some sort of convenience store; the walls are lined with rusted shelves that are stocked with vibrant packaging. The only illumination comes from greenish can lights.

Percy thumbs the blood from your lip. You wince. “Sure you are, hun.”

“Real cute.” The blond drawls. He’s probably about to make some sort of stupid wisecrack, but then the door jingles. It sounds like the bells that are attached to the front door of stores, further reinforcing your theory.

The boy exchanges a look with his friends. Suddenly, you’re being pulled away from Percy. You kick and curse him in the name of everything under Olympus, but a hand is clamped over your mouth and damn, this guy can’t even be that much older than you, yet you’re completely overpowered. You hate the feeling. A muffled sob tumbles forth.

The blonde stares real hard at you for a moment. “Don’t go anywhere,” he finally says, and slips through the frosted glass door.

“How can I help you?” You can hear him say after a moment.

“Oh, I think you know how.”

The voice is strangely familiar. A dangerous tangle of hope, relief, and fear swells in your throat.

“Pardon?”

“Where are they?”

There’s a pause, and then a dull thud.

Then silence.

Its unbearable, almost. To have help so near. At least, you hope it’s help. If it’s not, you're screwed.

The hand tightens around you, a warning.

You’ll take your chances.

You bite down, hard enough to taste blood. The kid shrieks. You’d almost feel bad if he wasn’t totally beating you up earlier.

The door is kicked open, and you don’t remember much after that.

He remembers it clearly, though. It went something like this:

You stumbled forward and Percy caught you. He tried to hold you up— he really did try, but neither of you was strong enough. The two of you fell together, all buckled knees and shaking hands.

“It’s okay,” he mumbled, breathless, as he tried to get a grip on you.

You were in his arms — cold and trembling, he could feel the damp patches in the fabric of your shirt where you were bleeding; but you were clinging to him and he was clinging to you and none of it mattered because you were here. You were here and you were alive, and for a moment, everything was alright again.

#pjo #percyjackson #percy jackson #percy jackson fics #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x y/n #percy jackson disney+ #fanfiction #pjo fanfic #hurt/comfort #angst

[catscidr]

I think we have all seen the "Argenti thinks the Reader is Idrila" stuff on here. But what if the reader actually is Idrila? So I wanted to request Argenti/Idrila!Reader (gn or afab reader) headcanons or a oneshot where Idrila, who has taken on a mortal identity after [Insert tragic event here], and meets Argenti. They develop feelings for each other, Argenti finds out she is Idrila, they end up dating. (Maybe or maybe not in that specific order) I thought maybe after protecting her followers from Nanook she disappeared to ensure Nanook doesn't target them anymore? That part isn't as important so feel free to add whatever backstory you think fits^^ Thank you in advance, I really like your writing!

NONNIE omg im booting up star rail rn to stare at him lovingly. also i changed the scenario a smidge so reader is her own person while also being idrila? if that makes sense......?? yeah. also bc otherwise id be writing ten thousand words n i didnt want ur ask to grow dusty in my inbox d(;∀;d) but tysm for the prompt i couldn’t stop thinking about it ueue. also hey gang peep me trying to make my blog look more coherent n nicer looking. am i doin it ⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝ cw: a smidge of amnesia and soulmate trope (it’s not that bad, trust), fluff, love at first sight (does that even count in this scenario....), argenti and reader are dancing around the topic a lot bc argenti is a gentleman and doesn’t want to pressure her to talk. blurbs to set up the plot + a fic after them hehe. not proofread, writer’s block is killing me  includes: fem reader (he refers to reader as "my lady"), argenti, natasha, luocha is kinda there wc: 2,3k

-ˋˏ You’d go to Natasha’s clinic at least once every other day because you always had the worst migraines. To the point where you almost got beat up by a Flamespawn one time when you were clearing out calyxes (thankfully there was a Silvermane guard patrolling the area, otherwise you would’ve been charred). The doctor always says the same thing; “Stop looking for fights so often”, “Let your body rest”, “I can’t prescribe you antibiotics”, and your favorite, “Stop slamming my door open I can’t do anything about your headaches”. She was a good friend, but whenever she repeated how she couldn’t be of any help to your predicament, you’d wish you could just take that glass vial hanging from her outfit and chuck it far, far away out of spite. 

-ˋˏ Obviously it wasn’t her fault- she'd done everything she could. Natasha even had you undergo the Underworld’s equivalent of an MRI scan because of how frequently you would visit her, insisting that something was wrong. The symptoms consisted of forgetting important things too often, feeling a foreign buzz in your limbs and brain, having a sudden burst of elemental energy come out of your attacks and a myriad of benign but annoying, irritating signs that something was up with you. 

-ˋˏ It became more of a chore than anything to leave your room. Some days you felt fine, but then when you’d go out again and beat up wave after wave of enemies in Caverns of Corrosion you would keel over, clutching your head while vague images of what could only be described as a fever dream ran through your mind. 

-ˋˏ You decided to leave the Underworld for some time- considering your absence like some sort of “vacation”. You heard of a wandering doctor (and merchant, apparently) by the name of Luocha and, from the people that crossed paths with him, it seemed like he was extraordinary at his job. A trek to the Xianzhou Luofu would be a long one, but after weighing your options you thought you’d give it a try (it was worth it if it meant you’d stop waking up at ungodly hours, holding your head in your hands while hoping, praying that the pain stops.) 

-ˋˏ You (somehow) made your way to the Xianzhou Luofu from Jarilo-VI. As competent as you were however, being stranded on a foreign planet with no map nor local to guide you was... a challenge. In retrospect, maybe you should’ve gotten in contact with that Luocha doctor and had him come to Belobog instead of you going to him since, well, he was a traveling merchant. Going from planet to planet is what he does (you assume). 

✧✧✧ 

If you had read up more on general information about the Luofu you would have been aware of how many enemies were roaming around the docking area. But you didn’t. So, unbeknownst to you, a rogue mara-struck soldier was on your tail, trying to sneak up to you to snag the goods you hid in your bag (which were basically just different types of painkillers and sustenance that bodes well on an upset stomach. He doesn’t know that though.) 

Your head was throbbing; ever since you set foot on the planet, your physical health had slowly dropped down to levels you wouldn’t be enduring if it wasn’t for the promise of a competent doctor once you get to the main city. Painkillers weren’t working, your feet hurt and to make matters worse, you felt the familiar lack of something in your head. It was so bad to the point where you had to have a tangible mark somewhere to remind you that you did, in fact, just take something for your headache and if you took two more painkillers, your body wouldn’t agree with your decision. It was a struggle even remembering what you did five minutes ago, no way were you going to be in top shape, beating up every enemy crossing your way. 

Clouds began covering the bright sun, casting shadows over the desolate, geometric area. You huff, irritated that, from the looks of it, you won’t be able to find a cozy place to set up camp. Though sleeping on a ground made of primarily iron and steel was considerably less nerve-wracking than sleeping on the mushy, cold, dirty ground of Jarilo-VI. So, with a pout aimed at no one in particular, you find some place that you deemed decent enough to set your humble tent. It wasn’t often that adventurers slept outside of safe zones, however with your condition you couldn’t afford to miss out on some rest and possibly get even more lost than you already are. 

You set your heavy backpack down, rolling your shoulders to soothe the ache in your muscles from carrying something so bulky. As you ruffle through your belongings, you open a bottled soda and take a swift gulp, sighing contentedly at the pleasant taste on your tongue. Now that you were sat and could rest your bones (until you started setting up your tent, at least), your ears were able to pick up on some not-so-distant footsteps. 

There’s no time for you to react; the mara-struck soldier that had been following you lunges at you, aiming for your bag. Your eyes widen and you open your mouth to yell, but before any sound can leave your mouth, a long, red and gold spear pierces the ground between you and the rabid man, making you yelp in surprise. You scurry as far back as you can in your current state; however, the soldier doesn’t have time to take advantage of your weakened stature. The owner of the spear lodges himself before your shaking figure and the mara-struck, yanking his spear out of the ground with impressive elegance, and summons an array of thorny vines to catch your assailant. 

It takes little to no effort for the seasoned fighter to take down the mara-struck as he swings his weapon, swiftly knocking the blunt end on the soldier’s plexus, knocking the wind out of him. A strangled scream leaves his throat as he scampers away, leaving your belongings safe with you and the strange red-haired man. He lowers his spear, careful to keep the sharp edge far from you, and turns around to face you properly. His brows raise a smidge for a split second before he composes himself and bows before you, the action short and curt.  

“It would have been a shame to lose a beauty such as yourself,” he says smoothly, straightening his back to look down at you with a warm smile. He stretches his hand out, a polite offer to help you stand up, as he continues speaking. “My name is Argenti, I belong to the Knights of Beauty. What might you be doing so far away from civilization, dear...?” he trails off, waiting for you to introduce yourself. 

You were in a state of shock, your mind still processing what had happened in such a short amount of time, that you failed to notice the lack of pain at the back of your head. As you meekly tell him your name, you hold onto his hand to help yourself up- as soon as his armored glove comes in contact with your hand something flashes in your mind; too quick to allow you to think about it too much, or to recognize what you saw for a millisecond. 

“So far away from civilization... do you know how to get to the city?” you ask as you feel a glimmer of hope spark in you. His words were refreshing, probably the best thing someone has ever said to you in the past month. He nods, reaching into his pocket to fish out a blue handkerchief embroidered with a delicate gold trim. Argenti hands it over to you and you gratefully take it, blotting the sweat and... dust off of your face. 

“I have made my way around the Luofu for long enough to show someone the way,” he says kindly. “Besides, even if I didn’t, I would still offer to accompany you through your trek. It is my duty as a Knight of Beauty, for I must uphold chivalry and distinguished manners, in the name of the Goddess guiding me.” His words resonate within you, making you beam, nodding in understanding. 

Your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the knight. As you hand his handkerchief back, he smiles at you and gestures to your bag. “What brings you so far from your homeworld, my lady?” Argenti asks gently, though a glimmer of doubt swirls in his sparkling, verdant eyes. The question makes you pause, a memory flashing in your mind too suddenly for you to know what it meant. Although, from what you could tell, you knew you could trust him with what troubled you somehow. 

“Ah, it’s a long story,” you start sheepishly, “I’ve been having these incredibly painful migraines recently. And sometimes I feel like my memory is fading too quickly for what would be considered normal,” you say, trailing off slightly at the end. “I’m looking for a healer, a doctor by the name of Luocha...?” 

Somehow, the doctor was currently the least of your worries. You’d never felt so refreshed before, at least not that you could remember; simply being in Argenti’s presence seemed to be enough to make your aches disappear like a starskiff smoothly gliding through a cloudless sky. 

“I’ve seen the man only a handful of times,” Argenti mutters aloud, pulling you out of your thoughts. “I can do my best to guide you to him, but if I may... you don’t seem to be injured?” the knight says, his voice trailing off into a questioning tone despite the observation. You shake your head, wondering how you should explain your predicament to the man. 

“Like I said, it’s a long story,” you say again, shrugging sheepishly. You wondered if you should even go into the nitty gritty- he could always just be making small talk to help you get comfortable or something. Sensing your unease, he changes the spotlight to him instead. 

“There’s no need to delve into details if you wish to keep them secret,” he says with a kind smile, bending down to take ahold of your hand- gently pressing a chaste kiss on the back of your hand. Red flushes your ears immediately, words caught in your throat at the sight of his hair cascading over his shoulders, a beautiful contrast from the gold and silver armor glittering in what was left of the sunlight. 

“As for myself, like I mentioned earlier, I am a Knight of Beauty. I’m on a quest to find my dear Goddess Idrila once more, for I need to pay my respects to them after they saved me from a particularly grim fate.” His words echoed in your mind, your brows knitting together as you felt what could only be described as a cold bucket of water being dunked on your head. “I-Idrila?” you parrot, your voice coming out as a choked noise. Argenti perks up, the hand that had been softly holding onto yours now holding it with a firmer grip, his other hand joining it. 

“Yes, Idrila. Have you ever heard of them? Or...” he trails off, looking deep into your eyes expectantly, almost as if he knew something you didn’t. His eyes seemed to suck you in, bringing a comfortable wave of warmth over you, making you yearn for something. 

“I...” you begin, your gaze falling down to look at your feet. As you thought long and hard about what you wanted to say, what you tried to remember, you slowly look over to his spear, lying flat on the ground- long forgotten since the fight earlier. As if a lightbulb went off above your head, you perk up just as he did, and look at him, beaming. The words were caught in your throat; there was so much you wanted to say, to declare, to do in this moment of clarity, but with how fast your mind was running to catch you up on the current events of your life it was a struggle. 

“Argenti,” you murmur, the name rolling off your tongue smoothly, as you realized seeing the traveling merchant was no longer required. Though the road might have been arduous, and you may have almost lost your mind in the process, being with Argenti suddenly made everything make sense. That’s why your migraines mysteriously disappeared as soon as you were in the knight’s presence, that’s why you had gaps in your memory, that’s why you were freakishly powerful... at convenient times.  

Everything clicked into place. 

The both of you share a pregnant pause, eyes locked together as the world seemed to come to a stop around you. If it were possible, you’re sure there would be delicate, silky rose petals floating around your figures, suspended in the air. You glance down at his lips, and for the first time, make a decision with a clear head. 

His lips felt smooth against yours, the faint taste of vanilla mixed with roses transferring to your own lips. The kiss almost felt like it could be the result of a symbiotic relationship; now that you had Argenti, or at least had him by your side once again, you didn’t think you’d be able to continue on without him. 

#i may or may not have butchered the ending bc i DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM /SOBS #i did my best #୧ ‧₊˚orderup! #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #argenti x reader #argenti x fem reader #argenti x you #argenti x y/n

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hello how are you :3? I was wondering if you could write E.J., Hoodie, and Masky with a s/o that has a lot of scars? (Toby too but platonic for him) I’m not sure how many people we can request so if it’s too many just Hoodie? I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable and thank you!

Various!Creepypastas w/ a scarred!reader

waaaah im so sorry for not seeing this sooner! i didnt recieve a notification for this ask!! really theres no limit to how many characters you can send in! i think my personal max varies from prompt to prompt!! mix of how they approach the concept of a scarred lover (friend in tobys case) with some hints of fluff! cause of scars will be vague as admittedly i didnt know if you meant general scars or SH! side note i hope this posts right! im writing this on my computer, im used to mobile!! + apologies for any weird wording or typos, im listening to music and im getting hyped!! not proof read we die like my spiderverse brainrot

Includes: Eyeless Jack, Hoodie, Masky and Platonic!Toby!

CWs: touch and go talk of potential past trauma, body image issues, vague mentions of SH(?) in EJs part + Toby's parts

admittedly admin doesnt know if its technically SH due to the nature and motiv but personally id still count it as such and tag it as such

Eyeless Jack;

he gets it, he really does. the basic run down of my hc/take on ej is that he wasnt always some flesh eating monster; just some dude who got caught up in some bad stuff

so naturally, he doesnt... really vibe well with the concept of eating human flesh, which can lead to a few... instances. from intentionally to accidentally harming himself while hes lost in his instincts

so hes no stranger to being a little roughed up around the edges

but hes a stranger to comforting; he'll likely approach it from a logical side before trying anything else. "you've been hurt," before going on a small tangent about the formation of scars. hes not the most... emotionally... good... available... person

so youre going to need to lay out the general basis for what you need for basic comfort, on days where your scars become an issue; be is needing comfort or a distraction. it may take him a while, but hell eventually start to pick up on cues and hints as your relationship develops

otherwise hes very neutral about them, again approaching them with a blunt view; seeing it as neither good nor bad. he doesnt draw attention to them, but he doesnt act like theyre gross

really just. vibing with it, doesnt make a huge deal of it since he feels he doesnt have any place to judge, nor does he feel its his business to pry for information

solid 6/10 imo, hell comfort you if you express that you need it but hell likely not go out of his way to do it

Hoodie;

Soft touches, he almost does it before he has your permission to touch you

naturally he has his own fair share of scars from various.. activities

really im still all jumbled up with how i wanna write him and masky; not sure if i want to make them like how they are in their MH source or lean into the proxy thing that was prominent in the early days of the fandom... lowkey leaning into the proxy thing for this post because im more... versed..? in that, but anyhow

hes more upfront and compassionate than eyeless jack, in fact hes probably the most caring out of the four in todays post... maybe thats because i read one (1) fic years back that changed my entire approach to his character but! yeah

subconsciously trails his hands on them when the two of you are holding one another; something gentle and intimate, not too obnoxious to make you self conscious, but not careful enough to go unnoticed

i view hoodie, and by extension brian if i end up considering him and tim fully seperate from their 'proxy' parts, as a very tactile person

true to the popular fanon interpretation, hoodie doesnt speak much. but that only makes him a better listener, so on days where things get hard, hell let you talk his ears off with anything thats bothering you. very rarely, hell speak up and offer some words of advice, most times hell inch closer to grasp you. though it does get awkward since most the time hes just. blankly staring at you silently without emoting or saying a word

overall? personally hes a 7/10 for me, i would rank him higher if he were more verbal, but thats just because admin has an easier time venting if its a two way convo; but overall hell make sure that your scars dont effect your worth

Masky;

very similarly to hoodie, masky also has his own set of scars for the same reasons

he probably starts pointing out his own scars to you and mumbles about where they came from if he knows their origins

this doesnt mean "oh hes invalidating your experiences and hes trying to make it about himself," but more so "hes showing that he really does get it and he doesnt mean to talk over you"

much like EJ he approaches scars with a very blunt and upfront mindset, but to a lesser extent. he admits that whatever led up to the tissue forming, it hurt. emotionally and physically, and hes not going to deny that simple fact. hell listen to you, have a conversation with you about it, and try to help you through whatever you may be currently going through regardless of if youre injury is relevant.

or at least, thats what hes trying to do.

hes still has his own personal issues regarding going about his own problems in a healthy manner but hey thats something for another post; maybe, if i remember

honestly this post doesnt have enough fluff imo, and i can kinda see masky doing this, but imagine he boops his mask against your scars in a mockery of a kiss (doesnt take off his mask often, in fact youll probably never ever see him without it on), i can see jack doing this too tbh

thoughts? 8/10, gets the bonus points for being less awkward to rant to imo, plus i think asides ej, i think i have a bias for masky for the simple fact i had the fattest crush on him when i was in middle school

Toby;

okay! this one is going to be interesting for one main reason! i actually havent touched tobys character in YEARS! so hes probably going to have the shorter list... obligatory i havent built any solid hcs for him past what was going on in the fandom in the 2010s, before toby briefly became a mild discomfort... but we're back in business baby!! (^^ dont feel bad for requesting for toby btw! hes no longer a discomfort, and if i didnt want to write for him i wouldnt be including him right here!!)

obviously we cant talk about his part without talking about his cheek. and other, similar hcs. while i dont think most of the self inflicted marks on his body were from a place of.. for lack of better words, darkness; it doesnt change the fact he still has them. i think a lot of them are from the fact he cant feel anything; accidental burns, gnawing through his cheek, digging his fingers deep into himself. really i could go into detail, but due to the aforementioned fact that my take on him isnt as developed as other characters + i really dont think its appropriate for this post (or really, anywhere on this account,), ill stop there

while he cant relate to the physical pain of what caused your scars, he can sympathize through your feelings. do you feel sorrow, or anger to whoever hurt you? hell be getting worked up right with you, because to him youre one of his closest friends

i feel like he doesnt talk much about his past, regarding his family. but hed tell you, and you can sure as hell bet that hell do his absolute damndest to grant you the same feeling of security.

hell probably touch and prod without truly meaning any harm, but thats because he can have problems with boundaries, but hell listen if you sit him down and tell him it makes you uncomfortable if it does

more so emotional than outwardly... supportive? idk the words, but hes very empathetic with you and tries to relate to you through emotion rather than feeling what you felt. honestly? kinda based for that, but maybe thats because i dont see feelings about this topic being touched on, usually its straight up about how the scar makes the person look or the physical trauma they had gone through, but idk, maybe thats just a me thing

he can be an asshole at times but hell usually backtrack and cool off somewhere else if you call him out on it imo

not sure if its because as im LITERALLY investigating his characteristics and interpretations as we speak, but i think im starting to relate to him so ER-OH!

anyways, i wish i could make his segment more... in tune with the characters above but its probably going to take me a while until im comfortable with how i portray this dude, which sucks because as a kid he was probably one of my favorites

i dont think im going to give toby a rating like the others; since i dont think i can accurate rate him due to the lack of proper concrete ideas outside of him being empathetic to your emotional pain since he cant relate on how much it hurt

im gonna end this here since im starting to sound like a broken record on tobys part so!

i hope you enjoyed this! characterization may be a little off but i blame that mostly on the fact that i kinda fell out of the loop in regards for writing for these guys (that damn spider movie! the brainrot threw me off my creepypasta grind!/j) but its good to be back writing for this fandom! it was a fun little brain exercise trying to figure out each character goes about this kind of thing without making them all the same!! with that being said, im going to go listen to an audio reading of tobys story so i can regrounded in his character and hopefully do him some justice in the future!

#creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #eyeless jack x reader #hoodie x reader #masky x reader #ticci toby x reader #eyeless jack x you #hoodie x you #masky x you #ticci toby x you

[tiredrobin]

referring to my last post im too lazy to like. explain the premise in detail so the basic idea is danny and damian twins thing, danielle/dani clone is the same age as danny, she has his memories but not all of them and jumbled and fragmented and messy and it fucks with her a lot. and danny also. now theyre triplets in the way where damian has obviously no memories of dani but she remembers him and its SO MESSY and emotionally difficult for all of them because dani is 100% danny's sister but not damian's. heres a non-specific ficlet thing i tamped out because this au is stuck in my fucking head but i dont know enough to write it because i dont care abt dc stuff. thanks for understanding

also. theyre literally all transgender. because i said so. this is a legal requirement for this au. vlad switched the chromosomes to make a more stable clone but dani was like "...no, im a girl actually". danny and dani joke about switching bodies all the time. damian and danny didn't know they were trans until after they separated, damian still doesnt know danny is because he thinks danny is dead, danny does know Now because damians a wayne and is in the news and danny recognized him evn tho no one but damian's family knows hes transmasc. also danny is transmasc in the agender kind of way. nothing can fucking stop me

vague context: sometimes dani quizzes danny on his/sorta-their past, bcuz her memories are so weird and jumbled and it helps to hear the truth evn when she cant actually remember it.

cw: brief mention of an adult being creepy towards children

-

"Okay," Dani says, and Danny pretends he isn't fervently praying she'll shut up.

"Okay," he echoes after a long moment, prompting. Somehow, the wariness doesn't leak into his voice.

"Third coach tried to kill us—you," she says.

'Third coach' means Danny and Damian's third trainer. Dani uses words pretty strangely, sometimes. Her language has a habit of slipping into something more rudimentary, simplified, like she's a toddler.

She's a year and seven months old. Her grasp on language is, in Danny's personal opinion, remarkable.

"That happened, yes," Danny says when he realizes he'd been quiet too long. He's starting to drag. These conversations are exhausting in a way he can never articulate, not even to Dani, but there'd be no reason to because he knows she gets it. From the way she's listing to her side in the air, the imbalance fucking with her physics enough that she's starting to drift very subtly to the left, she's worn thin.

"… Why?" she asks after a long pause. "He seemed nice."

Danny focuses in on the thrum of her core. It's in near-perfect resonance with his own, which used to be so deeply disturbing it made his skin crawl but now feels soothing. It's a balm on his frayed nerves during the bad days; a reminder that, though he's lost one sibling, he has another.

"He wasn't," Danny murmurs. Third trainer smiled a lot—that might be what Dani is remembering—but he had wandering hands and a creepy way of looking at him and Damian. He taught them about pinching nerves. His fingers always lingered.

"Oh," says Dani. She rights her tilt, though she's still drifting. Danny's brain does a weird thing, a math sort of thing, that calculates the angle of her drift, the current speed, the projected acceleration. If she keeps going, she'll bump into the wall in three minutes, twenty-seven seconds.

(His brain does weird things like that, sometimes. Frostbite says it's a result of ectoplasm mixing with living neural pathways. The ectoplasm appears to be acting as a stimulant of sorts, or maybe a steroid. A stimulant-steroid. (…Stimuloid?) He hadn't been able to follow the explanation very well at the time, due to the fact that his brain was doing the opposite of what it's doing now. Sometimes he thinks so fast it feels like his thoughts are teleporting; sometimes his head is so foggy he can barely process what's right in front of him. It's super great. Super.)

"… Oh," Dani says again, softer. Then, in an abrupt subject change, "Did you really almost push Tucker off some stairs?"

"You" this time. The way she selects it—"us", "me", "you"—it says a lot about how the memory feels to her. She'd been raised an assassin; she barely knows Tucker, Danny's oldest friend. She hardly recognizes dad; she wants to cling to Sam. Sometimes it's him, sometimes it's her, sometimes it's a weird third thing. Or something. She'd phrased it in a way that made him laugh and forget most of it, when he'd asked, and now he regrets that.

"I did, yeah," he huffs a laugh. "He stole—"

"Our truck!" Our. "Yeah, okay, I remember that."

"It wasn't a truck."

"No? It—ohhh, it was the, um. The model train. The one you built! That Tucker's dad gave you."

He nods. "Yeah. I was worried he'd break it."

"And pushing him down the stairs wouldn't?"

"Assassin training."

"Sure."

One of her eyes is a little crinkled. She might be getting a headache, because that's the face Danny makes when he's getting a headache. (It's the face Damian made when he got one, too.) (Stop comparing them.) "You should get some rest," Danny tries.

"I'll get nightmares."

Her nightmares are weird. She's talked about them enough for Danny to feel familiar with them, even though his are nothing like her's. She'd tried sharing one with him, once, and it'd hurt his head for days after.

"I'm gonna get nightmares too, now," he points out. She winces. Danny realizes too late that might have sounded more accusatory than intended. He wanted her to stop asking questions, yeah, but not at the cost of herself. He's the reason she exists now; he's the reason why her head is so stuffed full of things that don't make sense, memories and daydreams and terrors both real and imagined haunting every step she takes. Even if he isn't the one that made her, hadn't ever wanted her—even if that, she's his responsibility.

"It goes both ways, idiot," she says.

She's not reading his mind, but. It's like she is. She can feel his core like it's his thoughts, and that's near enough. "I'm the older brother," he says, intentionally putting something a little haughty in his voice, a tone he hasn't carried since he was, like, eight or something. The effect is ruined a bit as he lays down, angled so he can still watch her drift towards the wall. "You're my responsibility. That's how it goes."

She rolls her eyes. "What if I wanna be the older brother?"

"Can't. You're the youngest, out of the three of us."

Dani sort of… pauses.

Danny does, too. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. Damian is… "gone" isn't the right word, because he's not dead. Not like Danny thought he was for a… for a while. But he's off limits in a way Danny can't access. He hasn't referred to Damian as his brother since the first time Dani started asking questions, and she'd been careful to avoid doing so herself. Which would seem considerate, if Danny didn't know she avoided it because the whole thing just feels too big and too messy to look at in the eyes.

And here Danny's gone, shoving his foot in his mouth. The three of us. There isn't three; Damian has to think Danny's dead. Has to have mourned him. If Damian knew…

It's so scary to think about.

And—there's Dani, now. Not a replacement—nothing could replace Damian—but Damian would feel that she is. Probably.

"What a mess," Dani says.

Had she thought the same things? Maybe. No way to tell without asking, and Danny's too tired to ask. "Yeah."

She touches down onto the ground. On silent feet, she checks the locks on Danny's door, and then she pads over to the bed and nudges him until he gives her enough space to lay down next to him. She's not going to sleep here, and Danny won't be able to sleep with her there (it reminds them both of sharing a bed with Damian), but she likes to do this sometimes and Danny likes it when she does.

Neither of them say anything else. Danny won't be able to fall asleep, but he manages to start a very light doze. Dani's core thrums contentment and his echoes it. She's saying I love you I love you I love you and he's singing it back, and when her pinkie hooks into his—like Damian, like Damian, stop comparing them but it's so much like Damian—Danny curls his to lock it in place.

"I might to spy on him," she murmurs after an unknown amount of time.

Danny cracks open an eye. "You won't."

"I want to," she amends, "But… I won't." I'm scared, she doesn't say, but Danny can hear it anyway.

"The tabloids do it enough for us," Danny points out.

She snorts. "Yeah, sure. 'Damian Wayne: Vegetarian or secret animal killer?' Definitely a good accurate way to get information."

Danny smiles and lets his eyes slip shut again. "He was like that even when we were little." Didn't like eating meat, eating animals.

"I remember."

He sighs. His core sings I love you. Dani's pinkie slips from his. There's a sweep of cold, like a blanket being pulled over him, and then she's gone. He might see her in a week; he might not see her for months.

Danny drifts to sleep.

#danny phantom #dcu #dp dc crossover #damian wayne #dani phantom #robin rambles #robin writes #this au is SO. #SILLY. #wish itd leave my head

[monkayemporor]

“I didn’t want this!”

Synopsis: fem!Lorenzo (aka possum) and her parent 😱😱😱

Cw: Talks of plastic surgery + reader doesn’t like Lorenzo (at first)

Featuring: Fem!Lorenzo and Gn!Reader

Wc: 660

NOTES: I SWEAR IM WORKING ON EVERYTHING ELSE (lie)

“I’m gonna get plastic surgery.”

“Excuse me?”

Looking up from your phone, you were faced with Donna Lorenzo. And her usual shit-eating grin. Under normal circumstances, you would’ve indulged her, but this wasn’t a normal situation. Considering how she wasn’t even supposed to be here.

A few weeks ago, your friend Snuffy had dropped off some kid at your doorstep, explaining how she wanted you to take care of her. Of course, you had vehemently refused. And could anyone blame you? This girl looked like…well something. A freak would be the proper term. 

Rotten teeth, terrible hygiene, and her overall eccentric personality. You were so sure that you wouldn’t be able to deal with her. And what was Snuffy’s excuse? That her job as a pro would keep her too busy. 

“Can’t you just…I don’t know…buy her an apartment or something? You have a shitload of money!”, you had pleaded, but Snuffy had explained she didn’t want to leave Lorenzo alone. 

Sure, you could’ve refused. And if it had been anyone else, you would’ve. But this was Snuffy, your dearest friend. So, against your better judgment, you took Donna Lorenzo in. 

Living with her though, was certainly an…experience. From following you around your place, messing with your stuff, barking like a dog, and mooning over the weirdest boys on your computer. 

“Isn’t he just the best?”, she asked, an image of some gothic-looking boy open on the screen. 

Sipping on your coffee, your nose wrinkled, “Ew. No. Just no.”

Just what was wrong with her?

And now you were here, with Lorenzo proclaiming that she was going to get plastic surgery. 

“So, you want bigger boobs? I thought those were like bad for football or something.”, you said, clearly confused. Lorenzo shook her head and sat next to you, a bit too close for comfort though. 

“Nah, I just wanna get rid of something.”

Vague. You momentarily wondered if you should push for more info. But why bother? She was old enough to get one and it wasn’t like you were the one paying for it.

But…

What would Snuffy say? She would probably want you to ask. Sighing, you placed your phone on the table and looked Lorenzo in the eye.

“Just what exactly do you want to get rid of?”

Silence suddenly filled the space and you noticed the defender avoiding your gaze. Odd.

“Well…”, you trail off, trying to find the right words to say as the teen girl perks up. “You’re not that bad looking. So I don’t see why you need to get plastic surgery.”

Lame. That was the best you could do? Screw it. You never wanted kids in the first place.

Instead of Lorenzo mocking you though, she simply laughed, showing off the golden grills you very much hated. “I’m not sayin' that it was terrible, but it was!”

In defeat, you slumped on the couch. Screw Snuffy. But just as you were about to leave the room, Lorenzo suddenly spoke up.

“Still…thanks…”

Well, now this was awkward. What were you supposed to say? No problem? Nahhh. 

“You’re cute looking—like a possum!”, you suddenly blurted out. Why were you doing this?! Just why?! The younger girl tilted her head, “Possum? Ya, mean those ugly rat things?”

“They are not ugly!”

“Are too. And that means you're calling me ugly!”

“Stop putting words in my mouth!”

Arguing with Donna Lorenzo turned out to be quite tiring. And at the end, you were laying on the couch, side-eyeing her, “Look. Just, don’t do it. You’re perfectly fine. And you may be kinda gross, you’re not that gross to need plastic surgery.”

It was quiet for a couple of minutes, you staring up at Lorenzo as she stared right back. Her shit-eating grin was visible, “Dah, fine~”

“Oh.” You weren’t expecting her to listen. Now what? Do you just leave? Or…

“Am I still a possum though?”, Lorenzo asked.

“Definitely yes.”

“You’re weird.”

“Look who’s talking.”

#Don Lorenzo x reader #blue lock x reader #gender neutral reader #blue lock fluff #Don Lorenzo

[nicosraf]

i am sorry if this is stupid but lucifer “singing” in the church to god was not him singing right? I genuinely at first understood it as him singing and the first time I thought worship is used in any sexual context is with Michael later once lucifer starts to create sin, im sorry if this is dumb but this has been stuck on my mind trying to understand especially because i wont lie i went through some mental stuff seeing thats how others perceived it. if this is true i would love to hear (if you are open) then why you chose these sequences of events

Hello! You're not dumb!!! This isn't a stupid question!! It's actually one I've been expecting for a bit now aha, so thank you for having the bravery to ask.

I'm gonna discuss that scene and then get a little broader if that's okay.

CW: discussion of SA, including that in the Bible

It's interesting people have interpreted the cathedral scene that way. A while ago, I said I'm a "dead author" person, so I don't think my convoluted intentions matter. And I still think that! I wouldn't write so metaphorically and vaguely if I weren't okay with interpretations – (not that I look at reviews, but I follow the ABM tag on most social media and sometimes things find me.) So I've seen some people upset by this scene, and it doesn't really bother me (until they insist on it and assume my intentions and think badly of me as a person.)

But if you want to know what I intended – no, I didn't write God appearing in the cathedral and sexually assaulting Lucifer. It's Lucifer singing and God telling him to continue. That's what I wrote. But I know the language I used, and I know the parallels I was drawing.

Here's the thing – ABM follows Lucifer struggling to have some sort of autonomy over his body. In the cathedral, he's having it be violated. He wants to stop singing, God won't let him. Is this scene rape? I guess it depends on what your definition of what rape is. I don't want to be philosophical and annoying, but well, I'm serious. To me, the scene is about a will being imposed on Lucifer, about his body being used in a way he doesn't want.

(On that note, worship always had a sexuality to it. This doesn't mean worship was performing sexual favors, (definitely not what I intend to imply), but just that there's always been something sexual about the practice of complete submission and praise. I remember wondering what God derived from being worshipped all day by angels, as the Bible seems to say. Did he get pleasure from it? It almost felt fetishistic to me.)

And God does "actually" assault Lucifer, later. In Eden, the last sentences of Chapter 29. (I'll save the "what does sex even mean in this book" post for another day). A part of me wants to apologize because that's upsetting, but it's supposed to be upsetting. This book is supposed to be upsetting. And I'm not just saying that because it's my trauma dump book haha. Sometimes books are uncomfortable and ugly.

But why would I write something this awful and (allegedly) blasphemous? Maybe I'm trying to say something about authorities in the Church and impressionable young people, maybe I'm trying to say something about Christianity and bodily autonomy, maybe it's about me and conversion therapy. Who cares about my intentions.

But I want to share a Bible story that I discovered a little before I wrote ABM. I was reading Ezekiel 28, this passage a lot of Christians associate with Lucifer, the epigraph of ABM:

Your heart became proud     on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom     because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth;     I made a spectacle of you... Ezekiel 28:17 (NIV)

In Ezekiel 28, God addresses the fallen cherub angel, who had been in Eden, who had been adorned with every precious stone, who had been perfect in beauty and wisdom. He's angry the cherub became proud on account of his beauty.

I started reading the rest of Ezekiel, which I'd done before but never closely. I found Ezekiel 16.

In Ezekiel 16, God tells the story of Jerusalem, who is personified. First, he sees her as an infant, and, in God's own words: "I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked." He comes by her again, later, then decides she's "old enough for love" and clothes her. He adorns her, in jewelry. He says she becomes beautiful. He says, "And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect."

But then, God says, Jerusalem, "you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his." It doesn't say who his is. "You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. You went to him, and he possessed your beauty."

In punishment, God decides, "I will deliver you into the hands of your lovers, and they will tear down your mounds and destroy your lofty shrines. They will strip you of your clothes and take your fine jewelry and leave you stark naked. They will bring a mob against you, who will stone you and hack you to pieces with their swords."

(In ABM, God says "Shall I deliver you to the hands of the angels, so that they strip you of your clothes, jewelry, and leave you without flesh? Shall I command a mob against you, who will stone you and hack you to pieces with swords?”)

In Jeremiah 13, God addresses Jerusalem again. He says, first, "I will weep in secret because of your pride." Then, he gets angry and says: "Because you have forgotten me and trusted in false gods. I will pull up your skirts over your face–"

I remember being really fascinated by this Jerusalem, who God seemed to have groomed, who became proud on account of her beauty, who went on to love someone else, who God decided had to be hurt by everyone, who God eventually assaulted.

#short answer: its not true #long answer: click the Keep Reading ahsjd;sd #i wasnt trying to be shocking or anything with what i wrote #im being so sincere about things asgkdhddk #but yes people r right to be uncomfortable #youre supposed to be! #its a very ugly guttural feeling for me #but there's catharsis in the release #sorry for answering so late #mine #ask #angels before man #reblog in tha mornin probably

[janokenmun]

hell yeah pinned post time

basically i will post about: Whatever I Feel Like

if we're mutuals send me a dm and i might (not guaranteed) send u my discord so we can keep in contact in case site go explodey

cw: venty mental health stuff, relationship stuff, nsfw stuff, wack and hard kinks (also this blog uses unconventional nsfw tags! see below for details)

this may include:

-toki pona -english posts with toki pona translations -noitaposting -venty stuff (esp. relationship stuff) -hornyposts (filterable; see below) -non-venty relationshipy posts -rats -way too many memes -whatever randomass thoughts are on my mind at any given time -any brain contents i havent dumped on my friends already

feel free to dm im open to making new friends also feel free to send asks! also also please tell me if i rb something from a terf or otherwise-problematic person, BUT PLEASE LINK THE POST!!!!!! i rb like hundreds of things a day and i don't have the energy to filter through everything ive posted in the past day to see if it matches the vague description in a callout ask i got

also if u follow me or even just interact i WILL be looking through ur blog. this is a threat

also fair warning i post a fucking lot (mostly rbs) so if u follow be prepared for that (i assume theres a post limit since theres been multiple times where ive posted so much that tumblr cuts me off and refuses to let me post and gives me errors if i try to post)

btw im not comfy with kisses or cuddles from people im not dating!!

also if you're wondering about some personal details, im (cis) male, mostly straight, autism, possibly adhd, and open to play stellaris or warframe or mtg commander or other games

ill be trying to tag my own lewd posts with #janokenlewd, others' with #janantelewd, and cnc posts with #jancnclewd, so if you don't want to see that (or are a minor) absolutely block 'em!!!! i'll also be using #kenlalewd for things that i'm unsure on (like suggestive but not explicit stuff), im not gonna enforce that minors block that but it is recommended! please tell me if i don't appropriately tag nsfw (which likely will happen on occasion)!!! i'm trying to keep this a relatively safe space for minors, so i don't have to ban them completely, and having minors block those tags is an essential part of that! (additionally! i may leave sex ed or kink ed stuff untagged, as safety and education is important; if there's enough demand for it i might make a tag for nsfw education stuff).

basically this blog is just. My Brain

enjoy

BTW IMPORTANT NOTE: if i do/say something bad, tell me unambiguously! i will have genuinely no idea otherwise

nsfw stuff under the cut :3

more details about me are that im strictly top/dom, single, and open to doin lewd stuff with friends (and possibly boys! i have no idea!!!)

kinks include a bunch of like hard-dom stuff; cnc and brat tamer stuff are my favorite (especially cnc!!! <3<3<3), but i tend to like a lot of dom stuff tho! basically like just ask, there's also a bunch of kinks i have that i'm not comfortable stating publicly! also, i use the word "rape" here a lot; please block the cnc tag if you are uncomfortable with that!!!

limits include like gore/blood (tho a little blood is ok), and any of the like "unsanitary" kinks! also DO NOT TREAT ME LIKE A SUB OR TRY TO DOM ME IT MAKES ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, also don't misgender me or anything but that feels like a given! there might be other stuff but that Should be most of it, feel free to ask before sending if you're unsure

feel free to message and/or send asks (esp. if you're sub/switch girl)!!! best practice is to just ask directly before doing stuff, i.e. "hey do you mind if i send nudes" or "hey do u want to talk about kink stuff" or anything like that! tho sending nudes/porn/fantasies that *don't involve me* out of nowhere is likely okay ;3 (if u wanna be safe then ask first tho!! and specify the relevant kinks in case any are a turnoff)! i only rarely rp, i have to trust u first, so don't expect that immediately!

if you're a dom, top, and/or boy, i might still wanna talk about stuff, even if i don't wanna like rp or anything directly!! i'm super interested in human sexuality and hearing in-depth stuff about what kinks people have and why they have them is fascinating (and very hot) to me (and could give me ideas ;3), so if you wanna talk about that stuff please please please message!!!!

this is a paraphilia-safe space!!! if you have paraphilias, including the big ones, you're safe here and i accept you :). depending on what it is i might not want to talk about it, turnoffs are turnoffs, but i still accept you for who you are :) also relatedly id probably be considered proship tho im not really in that community so i may not understand the full nuance and ramifications of that term

also obviously. if you're a minor then don't interact lewdly with me?? you shoudlnt even be reading this and you should have #janantelewd and #janokenlewd blocked as well, that's the compromise i've made so that i don't have to just block every minor that follows me since i post a bunch of sfw stuff too, violators of the contract will be obliterated with the force of a thousand suns

[jatlokgwo]

for @rainbow-strawberry-sherbert!!

i have no idea how to start this rip (dd= disassembly drone)

i useally say that am xiao and a dissasembally drone but im more concepts then anything else it goes

consepts: small flying dangerous flexable tail multiple forms/run like a dog and grab like a human watcher listener endless job to do

base: raptor birds (-> peregrine falcons) fennec foxes

2: demon (-> xiao is considered a demon adeptus and another word for dd is sky demon) feathery wings sharp teeth

3 (vaguely but there): otters finchs western dragons/wof sandwing scaramouche

"in view": adeptus xiao generic dissasembally/worker drone hybrid S (my kinsona) i like to show myself as a fennec like with the gifs

species by accosiation: ADEPTUS cat bees (-> friend called me minecraft bee coded) wolf dog theres a version of S thats uninfected any au

xiao is the minimum that you need to know to understand and before i had things to latch onto i jumped around sonas alot it was stressful and i only made things worse by interrogating myself witch is why i said to not think about it so hard and just draw whats fun =-= i found out im a drone by making a sona and then the sona feeling way more real then other sonas/ocs like chengcuo i was just bein silly ^^

sometime its also neurodivergent stuff (???) i cant understand facial expressions so i either exadurat them or dont really emote (i promise you that the xiaos are diffrent pictures)

colors and color coding is also important to me!!!!!!

am small and can fly but am kinda flightless when xiao sits down his ingame model doesnt reach the floor and dds are kinda tall but i look more like a worker drone with dd features and there both short to avrege humans as xiao i had wings and a bird form (can fly) but i lost them when a dream-god ripped of my wings and dds have retractable wings but copper 9 has a constant death storm happeneing that acts like a blizzard so id rather walk and do my silly jumps sjchd

its also a comfort thing!!! im a bird adeptus without wings or a bird form as a dd im a living wepon every even if the dream god tore them again dds can regen our heads i will have wings again in like a minute and if i really want to hen its awkward but of i angle it right there strong enough to break other drones caseing (my wings as xiao where normal feathers my life has also been almost constant trauma and i would pretend to use finchy looking wings to hide or hug myself and playing genshin was our escape we where still plural and we would listen to alot of genshin asmr and i think thats how i formed as a fictive) i think its also linked to my hyperfixation on md and my main comfort charater right now being a N (hes the yellow dd in the gif and my pfp :3)

ive also been gaslit and a defining part of being a dd is that you used to be a normal worker drone before you got infected with the absolute solver and it did some mlp infection stuff and messed with our memories theres a whole episode about it (cw for robot gore flashing lights anf 1 line of ablism against narcissists if you click the link its the episode) having anatonamy instead of wanting it is still kinda new to me theres a theme with them about how xiao was enslaved as a wepon for the dream-god and dds arnt supposed to be unique but xiao gets to be a person and the dds are unique anyways that i resonate alot with to its nice to see the systems that let the bad things happen be villians instead of when i tell people that the thing that hurt me was school and they try to find reasons why it was my fault

(hopfully this make sense brain wont give me anything else for now but if i think if something ill add it!! and if you have questions i can do my best to awnser them!!!!)

#pup talks #我

[vntildeath]

Long blog intro re-post sry

I'm Amity ×

I'm 21+ years old

trans × they/he

not actually using my real name for privacy reasons and because i'm paranoid about people finding this blog and confronting me about it

DNF/I

minors (preferably be in ur 20s but 18+ is fine)

-phobics (queer/trans/fat/etc idc. leave.)

pro-ed ppl/accounts

in recovery (i block u for ur sake)

If you made it past the DNI heres some things about me that are relevant ig:

I've had my ed for like idk .. most of my life ig but even beside that im extremely mentally ill and autistic (being vague on purpose)

ive been on and off mi/sh/ed tumblr since 2011/12 but i dont often reblog to this page anymore its more of a diary

I have two secondary blogs for more spam ed/th1nspx bs @dvxspart if you want less personal stuff there's that if you're interested

I have tags on most posts so

#prsnl is my personal venting or information

#etc is anything not tagged as personal

#wght / #wght prog is we1ght shit

#tsaf is for f/ast/ing stuff

#log is cal logs and planning

very rarely I'll tag things as #tw/cw

But obviously this blog in itself is the tw/cw

And of course if any other questions come up feel free to ask.

Stats Below

5'2" | 157 cm

hw: 240.8 lbs | 109 kg

sw: 222 lbs | 102 kg (Jan 24th)

cw: 196 lbs | 88.9 kg

cgw: 180 lbs | 81 kg

gw1: 220 Has | 99 kg

gw2: 200 lbs | 90 kg

gw3: 180 lbs | 81 kg

gw4: 150 lbs | 72 kg

gw5: 135 lbs | 60 kg

gw6: 120 lbs | 54 kg

ugw: <110 lbs | <49 kg

i don't update my cw very often on this post (i want to be sure)

Feb sw: 214.4 lbs

Mar sw: 203.6 lbs

Apr sw: 200 lbs :/

#prsnl #wght #wght prog #log #etc #tsaf

[fereldanwench]

just some somewhat vague personal life ramblings under le cut:

(cw for mental health stuff) ((im okay now but i definitely wasn't lmao))

i had a really good talk with my brother last week--we were seriously on the phone for almost 4 hours--and I'm not gonna get into most of the specifics, but it was very enlightening and validating on some lifelong struggles we both dealt with in our family and how that's impacted us as adults. (although i think they impacted me more as the oldest daughter.)

more specifically, i did talk a lot about how i was fucking miserable last fall, and i knew i was miserable in the moment, but i don't think i did fully realize to what extent. i just could not dig myself out of the mental hole, and every time i tried, it just felt like quicksand--struggling to get out just made me feel like i was sinking deeper. yanno. classic depression shit.

and a lot of it is related to my professional life. tl;dr - last spring i had to go back to a job i hate because i couldn't find anything else and my husband was about to lose his job at the time, and it's almost been a year and i'm still getting fucked over by being in this psuedo-manager position while i am not being paid for it despite ten months worth of meetings trying to rectify this.

i wanted (still want) out so bad, but i couldn't even update my resume or look at job listings without just completely spiraling. the job-hunting process just felt... worse than being employed at a job i hate, i guess. not feeling like i could find a good match, the stupid corporate lingo in listings, easy applies not actually being easy, recruiters who never actually read my resume, dehumanizing interviews, straight-up scams--i couldn't fucking do it.

and on top of that, i had to carry me and the husband financially for about half a year. i don't want to rehash all that, but suffice to say i just felt like everything was on me, and i had no one to turn to for anything. he did find something that ended up being a really good fit, and he's been working for about 4.5 months now, which did help my mental state a lot. but even that took a while to mend those particular struggles.

but i think having an honest, empathetic conversation about all of this was really what i needed to move forward. i had just been burying so much of this deep down for so long that i was just never in the right mental place to actually fucking deal with it and move on.

and then last night i just got a burst of motivation and finally updated my resume, and i didn't even feel the urge to cry, lmao. not once. still wish evil things on people who write job listings but baby steps.

however, i'm actually not in a huge rush at this exact moment to leave my current job despite my many grievances--we don't get vacation leave until at least a year of employment, so i have to wait until this may to get a whopping two weeks of paid leave. i can stick out another two months for that.

i would like to be out by the end of this summer at the latest, though, and i would l like to not have to rush into another job that'll end up fucking me over one way or another. so i definitely need to start the process now.

and it's basically spring here! i got my little porch garden going yesterday which is like an automatic mental boost. loving the sunshine and warm, but not stiflingly hot, afternoons 💐☀️🌿

#t: wench.txt

[the-kestrels-feather]

In honor of it being Spooky Season, I wanted to share some of my horror writing I've done! I've never shared my writing on here I think, so I just wanted to show some fun stuff I've done!

Sambucus- so this started as my entry for the Rusty Fears writing competition, hosted by the company Rusty Quill back in 202...1 I think? That I turned into a statement fic, however I hated the statement lead in/lead out but I liked the story itself, so I took it off and now its more an original piece of body horror. It's about a chronically ill person who wakes up to find strange scars on their body corresponding with the body parts that don't work right, and that their chronic illness symptoms have begun to disappear.

CW/TW: Non-consensual Surgery (not graphic, implied), Body Horror, Blood, Non-consensual Body Modification (implied, not graphic), Chronic Illness (mentioned, not graphic)

Dark Young- a 300 word drabble (?) written from the perspective of one of the offspring of Shub-Niggurath, musing on the cult it's attached itself to and their (and its) relationship to its mother. I originally wrote this for Tale Foundry's first ever writing stream, where the prompt was "Loving Eldritch Parents", it was read on stream in October of 2019, and it's honestly one of the things im most proud of.

CW/TW: Cults, Use of Humanity as Playthings, Lovecraft Mythos, Could be Read as Child Neglect (kind of? In the context of Eldritch Abominations so take it with a grain of salt), one (1) mention of spiders but its not detailed

Cult of Shadows- I'm not entirely sure how to explain this guy but the best way I can explain it is the Darkness musing on humanity and their fear of it. This one is also a 300 word drabble-type thing written for a Tale Foundry stream that was also read on stream in 2019, I'm not as proud of it but I do like the vibes. The monster is *vaguely* based on the Vashta Nerata from Doctor Who, all though this isn't a fanfic of it or anything.

CW/TW: Humanity as a food source (not graphic, mentioned), darkness/fear of the dark, mentions of spiders (brief, not detailed)

Obviously you're under 0 obligation to look at any of these, but if you do please feel free to let me know what you think, I'm very new to horror writing and all of these are fairly old so I'm sure there's a lot I can improve on!

#lovecraft #hp lovecraft #the lovecraft mythos #horror #cosmic horror #body horrow cw #original writing #original horror #original fiction #the magnus archives #tale foundry #writer #writeblr #Shub-Niggurath #shub niggurath #original horror fiction

[the-s1lly-corner]

Which of the creepypastas would be okay with an asexual s/o?

Creepypastas w/ an ace!reader!

yahoo!! sorry for taking so long to get to this!! i kinda had a small lil slump for a few days but im back!! sorry for any typos or if these seem... bllluguuguh!!! im still trying to get through that lil slump so my brains still a lil... boo!!! obligatory these are with characters that i think would be compatible with an ace reader so this isnt going to follow my base/go to list of characters! a lot of these are going to dip into admins experience as someone on the ace spectrum (asexual/aegosexual!) reader is written as vague ace identity but like. mostly involved to be ace. admittedly this leans more into most of this being ace hcs since i think for the most part they dont care/dont find issue with your identity

Characters: Slenderman, Trenderman, Eyeless Jack, Masky

CWs: mentions of sex but like. nothing too bad mostly just vague sex drives and that sort of thing, really!

Slenderman;

honestly i think he might be on the ace spectrum, or maybe thats because i dont think he really knows what sex /is/

okay well he does know what it is but he only understands it on a surface level, but otherwise he doesnt really care much for it in an everyday setting

yeah i think hes on the spectrum; i also think he might be on the aro spectrum!

only really initiates intimacy if you want it (reminder that not all aces dont have sex! attraction stuff is the main thing) but otherwise i would write him the same way as i do with a non-asexual reader!

extra headannon since his is kinda short but really hes probably the most supportive out of any creepypasta simply because i like to write him as this entity that doesnt interact much with others but is still. curious. this man does not know what lgbtphobia is (and thinks its dumb when he does find out!)

Trenderman;

very similar with slenderman but more in tuned with identity stuff and things like that

personally i hc him to be greysexual, or demisexual! i think trender is like. the only one out of the 3 brothers (that i claim) that i dont see being ready to get down and dirty? like unlike slender he KNOWS what it is and understands attraction and all that but just doesnt. feel it

so he gets it! he interacts with people more than slender but like. not openly, i mean like not as himsef?! this is kind of a side tangent but i like to think that slender beings can create false human bodies and trender is the main one who uses it

anyways! im kind of getting off topic

he understands the stigma and hate ace people can get so out of the four characters today i think he would be the most likely to offer an ear when youre getting flack

i wish i had more for trender as well but this is genuinely the first time ive written for him so im still all OWOWOOOUGH!! with how i wanna portray him

speaking of i need to do like a catch up post for him, and some other characters so i might do that soon^^

Eyeless Jack;

okay so! the two above characters are fine with it because theyre on the spectrum above but i feel like eyeless jack just outright doesnt care if your ace or not since he has a fairly low sex drive 99% of the time

sappy man, one of those "i prefer people based on their personality rather than their looks" but not in the "im so deep for this and im lying through my teeth" way i (personally) see people say (school was ROUGH man) but in a "im literally turning into a monster my skin is fucking blue and starting to rot i have no place to say anything" way

anyways

he adores you so so much and he really feels like he doesnt deserve you, bro could not care

probably tries to find flowers around his cabin that make up the ace flag/which ever flag you use

though im not sure how many grey flowers there are... hes trying his best!

Masky;

similar to eyeless jack he has a low sex drive imo so it isnt too much of a big deal to him, plus i think hes graysexual? at least i feel like he would if he knew about the label

i think asides slender and trender, he doesnt know much about this sort of thing so youre probably going to explain it to him

he mostly gets it! he gets things mixed up but hes trying his best!

overall supportive bf!! probably steals a pride pin from somewhere (dont ask)

imagine he grabs the wrong pin/j

wweoeoeohh! i hope this post is okay! admittedly i wasnt sure how this was going to turn out since, as stated above, i feel that a lot of the characters wouldnt mind/are on the spectrum themselves im not gonna lie this couldve been better but im so out of it rn that my brain is all scattered n stuff :( regardless i hope this is sufficient, and once again im so sorry for the wait TToTT

#creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x you #creepypasta headcanon #slenderman x reader #slenderman x you #trenderman x reader #trenderman x you #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack x reader #masky x you #masky x reader

[derangedwifenadja]

🚨Long pointless ramble ahead! CW: me trying to apply my actual history degree to the stupid vampire show🚨

(Im on mobile so I can't put it under a cut sorryyyyy)

It's 3am and I can't sleep because I'm trying to work out the actual historical timelines for the Staten Island vampires (I have a history degree and I want to apply my contextual knowledge to my headcannons bc of who I am as a person)

So nandor was apparently born in 1262 - a time of mass upheaval in the Mediterranean rly cus of the crusades etc. Al-Quolnidar is fictional but Iran was vaguely united at the time under various empires though I actually don't think they were technically ottomans - the ottoman empire was founded in the late 12thC but in Anatolia, and spread to mesopotamia a bit later, but whatever

Nadja is approx 200 years younger than nandor (as his pillaging happened about 200 years before she was born) and indeed this was a time where Roma and sinti populations had started to sort of settle in Greece which is still quite a big centre of traveller culture I think! Antipaxos is tiiiiiiny so it's unlikely it was massively affected by much in the way of major events but if it was populated at all in the 15th century it will have likely been by vineyard farmers - grapes can be pretty hardy and the soil isn't great on most Greek islands, so that'd explain the intense poverty cus we're seeing a pretty big Mediterranean economic crisis at this point (actually brought about by ecological stuff! Wild!) although of course extreme poverty was common in the medieval period throughout the Mediterranean, with pockets of wealth at different times. Also - orthodox Christianity at this point I think was relatively widespread, though folk religions tend to thrive better in smaller pockets (like small villages on tiny islands!) because the church wasnt very organised yet and generally didn't have the resources to do much missionary work or education or sending priests to the middle of nowhere to 'teach' (ie indoctrinate/bully) the locals.

I'd also love to know where she went after being turned! Travel from the smaller islands in greece would've probably been hard to come by so I guess she just turned into a bat? Then again from an island as small as antipaxos there probably will have been boats to and from the mainland and/or the island's larger counterpart, Paxos. Antipaxos is in western Greece rather than on the Aegean so she could've gone to Italy but 1500s Italy would've been a terrible place to be a vampire on account of all the Catholicism and garlic so who knows!

And Laszlo?? I have no fucking clue. He seems vaguely Georgian or Victorian and as a Br*tish person I should be able to figure out which but it really could be either. I can totally see him in an opium den so imma say early colonial England - before the industrial revolution? But also because I don't want him to have been involved in slavery maybe we'll put him post 1833 (slavery abolished in the UK). I'll be honest tho this was a post about Nadja - I love Laszlo but he's very Generic Olde Worlde English and that really could be anytime from 1750 to 1910

Tl;Dr: I think I deserve to be the historical consultant for wwdits. Where do I apply

#long post #sorry guys i just cant stop rotating her in my brain #and i love history #i studied the medieval Mediterranean #in like. a lot of depth #greece is tricky cus its sort of caught in the middle a lot but also hasnt had a good time economically #but! god i love medieval history #i graduated a couple months ago and i MISS IT #wwdits

[aroaceconfessions]

cw // alcohol mention also this is very long im sorry in advance

as an aroace i tried to be straight for a day and i have concluded it did not work. ‘proper’ (???) kissing was fun, but i think that’s because i was drunk and everything is fun when i’m drunk.

i also put on my Extra Straight Girl hat and tried to like this one guy, but that also didn’t work because i like him, just in no alloromantic or allosexual way at all. he’s a really good cuddler, and it’s really nice to be held by him though, but that also might be because i have realized lately i am very touch starved. but i think it is not entirely that because i feel like i liked being with him More than i would someone else.

he is also the one guy i would like, idk,, i used to be rather sex-repulsed, but personally a lot of that was because of underlying issues for me and now that i have gotten over a few, i think i’m more sex-ambivalent, or like sex-indifferent. in my Trying on Being a Straight Girl episode, i have mentally thought about Things, and honestly if he wanted to i wouldn’t mind trying i think, so there’s that. and i don’t really hold that same perspective with anyone else.

during my adventures of Straightness, it felt nice for my silly little brain to think ‘wow i’m like the other girls now!’ because if we just ignore how it’s nothing like a crush at all, it’s almost like i have a crush on him! and that’s kind of fun hahah i can do all that texting ur best friend like ‘omg what do i say’ thing even if i don’t actually care that much. it’s kind of like when u type LMAO IM CRYING but u’re just sitting there not even smiling, but instead it’s everything and it’s the depth of emotion im not feeling.

idk it’s been very interesting for me this past year about my identity. i’ve identified as ace much longer than i have aro, and it used to be the only thing i was sure of, but it feels like recently i’ve been feeling much much more connected to my aromanticism. because sex is a bit of a… maybe sometimes, most of the time no but i think one day i could, maybe. and my feelings towards it are like, well i have a high libido so idk i’d be more willing than if not. but the point is my feelings have shifted from ‘no never not under any circumstances’ to ‘i mean in another world very similar to this one but not, i could’ so i guess you could describe it that i’m more flippant about it these days. but romance? romantic relationships?

okay, take Object of my Fake Straight Affections. i have considered i would be okay doing Things with him, in an ideal world, if we ever got to that point. but being in a romantic relationship with him? i can think of netflix and chill vibes and it’s like ‘shrug, sure’ but texting him all day and going to him first about the random stuff in my life and seeing him regularly and idk whatever else people do in romantic relationships? i am writing this hungover right now and im going to stop thinking about that, because the discomfort might cause a physical reaction 💀

idk it’s just strange to think about how my identity has become what it is and how i’ve grown since then. i find it really fun though, i like learning more about myself. yknow vaguely offtopic but it occurred to me the other day that all the time i spend introspecting anout myself, people might spend that time daydreaming about being in a relationship. a classmate a few years ago was talking about her future and she was like ‘of course i’ve thought about what my kids would be called! i want 4, 2 boys and 2 girls!’ and i’m now realizing people just. sit there and think about that stuff unprompted. like what. my brain is a test lab where i spend hours litmus testing myself on everything, and some people’s are a perfect sim world of their hopeful future. wild.

even if i did really like that guy though nothing can ever come of it and it makes me a bit sad. because he’s a very much straight cis guy, and he would likely not understand anything aspec. and also my only connection to him is liking being close to him physically, because i am extremely, extremely aroace and despite my best efforts i cannot magically conjure up any attraction, so it’s like. ah. can’t really make an intimate committed relationship out of ‘hey i like your cuddles.’ i mean you could, but not with the straight cis guy who thinks in girlfriend, yknow? like for cishetallo people who don’t even know what the word ‘cis’ means, it’s either date or idk fwb, and i am not looking to go down either path…

it’s kinda weird how i mirror some of the stuff people do when they Like someone tho. cuz i dont wanna ruin our friendship and i dont wanna be just another girl to him. but it’s like, ok so what do you actually want then. and i just dial up tone into the void. which is not very fair were i to get to that point with him. but also it’s unlikely i’d ever get to that point because i don’t think he finds me pretty and i’m probably not his type and i’m very inexperienced but i want him to like me still and see, these are common worries when people have a crush right? but i don’t have a crush??? my brain just looks at it all and cherry picks the randomest of stuff apparently.

man i think i’m just a mess 😭 im all over the place. i really am just treating this like some confession box i’m pretty sure nobody cares about this but i’m glad i can come here and say it all anyway. this is one of my favorite blogs ans im happy it exists

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #aroacespec #arose #amatonormativity #heteronormativity #internalized aphobia