#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

piss3dm3nk3n · 1 year

Text

My thoughts are jumbled and all over the place but honestly i just wanted to rant abt the new ep bc OMG!

newest ep of Rick and Morty was literally (almost) what i predicted. Like, I didn’t say it on Tumblr and I’m mad I don’t have record of this but the idea of Rick being faced with the choice of saving a life or leaving was literally in my mental notes of things rnm should do. Like the character development!!! And the fucking idea that Rick probably saw HIMSELF in Piss Master; like people calling him a shitty dude, the suicide scene and his face after reading the letter (Just like the fucking Unity episode!!! Before he tries to take his own life FUCK omggg). AND PISS MASTERS DAUGHTER!!! How Rick was probably thinking of Beth in that moment and how he himself tried to commit in his own daughters house (the father / daughter relationships in this show man, fuuuck), MAN that was a crazy scene. I remember watching the Unity episode going ‘damn’ and seeing the newer episodes of rnm still provoking that exact same feeling from me is insane writing. Man was going through it.

The way the writers handled the whole suicide thing was so well done as well, like it’s a comedy and in the past a lot of comedies find it hard to tackle serious topics but rnm does this stuff perfectly! The Piss Master thing for example, Mr Jellybean even Planetina and the Morty and Beth afterwards ectect.

Analyse piss was honest to god, such a good episode! god, is was so heart wrenching I loved it!! The character development, not just from Rick but from Morty near the end of the ep. Like he doesn’t deal with Rick bs anymore, if he’s uncomfortable with smth he’ll speak up now. AND Jerry too! man actually stood up for his daughter! like he went from leaving Beth to fend for herself against a random homeless man to fighting a man who controls piss for his daughter!!! LOVE!!!

And I love how the ending is bittersweet! there’s still so much for the family to get through to actually be a healthy functioning family. Like Rick needs a friend, like now! Because he really can’t just trauma dump on Morty like that. But even then I can understand why he did and it makes me feel even more ARUGH! Like let Rick have Birdperson again, or like that guy from the toilet ep, or have Dr Wong in more episodes!!! Like he really should have gone to Dr Wong bc the whole Piss Master thing was clearly bugging him.

AND OFC DR WONG!!! I LOVE her character, the way she is able to have Rick listen to her just like that! She’s so intelligent and is practically the opposite to Rick in the way she is more smart emotionally rather than all that scifi shit. OMG and Rick falling for her bait where she eggs him on to try and ‘prove her wrong’ (THE INDIRECT THERAPY AHHH! When he realises she was right and that he ended up getting everything he asked for = therapy is good omgggg). I loved how the episode wasn’t just Rick sitting in her office going through his bullshit. Rick dealing with his issues through a more indirect way is def in character for him and more realistic for the show. I really hope we see Wong more in future episodes cause she is just mauw! I just love the way therapy is treated as a great thing in this show, bc I know my own experience at first was daunting but in the end (like Rick) lot of people realise just how great talking to a therapist is.

Just overall, a great episode, great writing, funny, sad, a very satisfying ep to watch.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #morty smith #rnm #r&m #jerry smith #beth smith #summer smith #dr wong

67 notes · View notes

jjtheresidentbaby · 2 years

Text

Mike x Max friendship headcanons

(Blaming @berrymoos for this as we talk abt them so much I couldn’t not post something)

(The amount of time I spent finding a gif of them is embarrassing)

Firstly their classifications which are both flips with a little lean

They are ‘twins’ because one time they were arguing in the back of the car over who was older so bad that Nancy made Steve pull over so she could turn and go “you are now twins, same birthday, same age” the pair accepted it

Twins means shared birthday party’s and themes (ie. Skateboards and dnd, California and photography (cough cough my photographer Mike Hc))

They have such a sibling like love/hate relationship

The passive aggressiveness is unmatched by anyone in the party

When they’re little they always fight about dumb stuff that quickly turns not dumb when Mikes starts throwing things and Max starts reeling back punches

Poor Lucas and Will have to stop them from killing each other on a regular basis

Then again, they would set fire to anyone who dares be mean to their twin. Have and will argue or get physical with people in the others defense

Max tries to teach Mike how to skate and he does surprisingly well, much to the rest of the party’s annoyance as they all suck

The adhd those two share is something nobody ever comes close to understanding

They stim together but it’s not the normal ones, no they’ll just stand and scream at each other with laughs being the only thing to break it up

Mike listens to max talk about comics when nobody wants to hear it and max let’s Mike talk about cameras when nobody wants to hear it

Max got Mike his first Polaroid camera for one of their birthdays

Mike got max a brand new skate set up that he was going to build himself but didn’t want to do it wrong

They like to play pranks on Steve together as he is their older brother unofficially

They tried to play pranks on nance and John but ended up feeling too bad when Johnny got super scared at max in her Micheal myers mask and nance had to comfort him

Being flips mean they can care for the other and they secretly love it more than anything else

It’s like they can talk without words, they just know things, they have the twin powers™️

They are the most reckless and fast drivers of the group and give Steve a heart attacks every time he takes them out to practice driving

They do that thing of “well if max isn’t going I’m not going” and “If Mike won’t do it then I won’t do it” no matter the headspace they are in

Mike has stomped down the school halls to yell at a teacher being mean to Max, he got detention but seeing Max’s small smile makes up for it all

As much as Mike and Max do pranks on Steve together, sometimes Mike will go pull one on Steve by himself but tell Max about it so she can see the reaction if Max is having a particularly hard day

They talk about a lot of depressing and serious topics that they can’t with others of the party

Steve and Robin are they’re favored older kids and they never stop themselves from annoying either of the pair

Mike honestly leans to Robin while Max leans to Steve

Max lets Mike do her hair back into braids but then he has to let her do it to him

Max drags Mike outside to play games when they’re little as he’s much rather just sit on the floor coloring with Johnny

They death glare each other and it is ruthless

But sometimes Mike doesn’t mean it and he just has rbf so he gets very confused on why Max is staring him down

They swap music all the time and Max will share cassettes with Mike and only Mike nobody else >:3

Mikes really quiet and mumbly when he’s little but max is the complete opposite so sometimes it sounds like Max is talking to herself when really Mikes too whispery to hear

Steve and Robin call Mike “mouse” while Max gets called “tiger” for the obvious reasons

Lucas also pulls out those nicknames when they aren’t small and both of them blush like mad men

Mike will share food with Max but nobody else and anyone who asks why will get things thrown at them

Max and Robin like to stick hair clips into Mike and Steve’s hair to make them look pretty

Both the boys love it and Steve always encourages Mike to say he likes it

Robin and Steve definitely have a picture of each kid in their wallets but shhhh that’s a secret

Mike gives max one of his old bikes even if she has her board

Max helps Mike escape family outings and such with the excuse that she needs help studying, she never does

They have a little life plan for living together when they’re older, their partners are included in it but a lot of it is just what their shared apartment would look like

#jj headcanons #stranger things agere #mike wheeler #max mayfield #steve harrington #robin buckley

48 notes · View notes

alotsgonnachange · 3 years

Text

Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz

Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.

First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!

I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao

I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall

Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!

Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”

Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!

Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)

This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....

SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot

Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p

Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN

BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone

Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow

When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..

When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR

When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….

Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….

Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO

I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!

The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…

HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end

I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…

No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.

I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake

Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually

Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak

I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.

Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..

The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound

That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute

Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.

Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)

Lastly Zen FURRY ERA

MY BEEF With the AE

I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different

HOWEVER

Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….

He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.

He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.

Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE

Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much

V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..

The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?

HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?

AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.

*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together

Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!

#Saeran Choi #Saeran AE #Saeran after ending #Saeran AE spoilers #Mystic messenger #Mysme #Saeran after ending spoilers #mystic messenger spoilers

59 notes · View notes

fizzysugarwater · 4 years

Text

After The Storm

wrote a little ficlet while thinking abt possible places where Bruise could have become canon... this takes place immediately after s10 ends. hope y’all enjoy!

The dust had settled. The battle was over. The ninja found themselves taking a well-deserved rest, at least physically. Night had fallen somewhere in there. All were asleep.

One ninja, however, was still very much awake.

Jay had worked himself up in the short interval between when Cole had fallen into the depths of an infested Ninjago City, and when he returned. The devastation he had felt in that moment, having been barely 10 feet from Cole, and watching him fall - it tore his heart open. And in the time it had taken for them to finally be reunited, that tear had leaked out every complicated feeling Jay had on the Earth Ninja.

Every silent stare, every worried glance, every hold, every hug, every tiny little feeling about whether or not Cole was okay, whether he would be mad, where he was, what he was doing, wanting to know more about him, to understand what made him the person he was, and admiring that person once Jay knew. All of those little things had leaked out of Jay’s heart, and coalesced and crystallized in him as he came to an earth-shattering (at least to himself) conclusion.

Jay was helplessly, impossibly in love with Cole. And had been from the beginning. And it took him this long to figure it out.

So that was why he was lying perfectly awake in his cot, knowing that Cole was just in the next cot over, and wondering how to break this news to him. Cole was Jay’s best friend, and the chance that that’s how he wanted to stay was high. But if Jay didn’t tell Cole how he felt now, just after he’d realized it himself, he’d never say it. He knew that much.

So he had to tell him.

Jay sat up from the cot, dashing any kind of plan to the winds, and slid off of it quietly, coming to stand next to Cole’s cot. He hesitated a second, looking over the other fellow with a fondness he hadn’t recognized until now. Noticing small things about the Earth Ninja - his peaceful expression, his messy black locks, the way his hands curled when he was resting. He really was in love with the guy, wasn’t he.

Enough stalling. Jay reached out and put his hand on Cole’s shoulder, gently shaking the other awake. Cole mumbled in surprise, and then blinked his eyes open slowly as he looked at Jay.

“Mmh?”

Jay smiled lopsidedly at Cole before he could stop himself. Cole blinked at him blankly before returning the smile, confusion clear on his still-not-quite-awake face.

“Hey, uh…” Jay pursed his lips. “I-I needa talk to you, man.” He found himself already fidgeting with his clothes, his other hand still on Cole’s shoulder.

Cole hummed slightly, then spoke up. “I’m guessin’ it can’t wait until morning?”

Jay bit his lip and shook his head. “No… n-not really.” If he waited till morning his self-doubt would probably rear its head again and he’d end up not saying anything about it, and he’d just live with this gut feeling of being so very in love with Cole. And he couldn’t do that, not when the opportunity was right here.

Cole hummed again, then sat up from the cot. He glanced at their door - the two of them had been paired in this room for the night - before patting the spot next to him and turning his full gaze and attention on Jay, amber-brown eyes slowly waking up. “Take a seat, I’m listening.”

Jay did so, then sucked in a breath. How should he say this? How could he say this?

“I-I’ve been thinking-“

“That’s dangerous,” Cole responded sleepily, mostly on reflex. Jay gave him a look.

“Shush.” Cole pouted at him, but once he saw the serious, nervous look on Jay’s face he dropped the pout and paid attention.

“When... when you fell today, something… something happened,” Jay started, taking his gaze off Cole when the other’s face fell, remembering the incident in presumably more detail than Jay. “With me, I mean. It’s… a little hard to explain. Something… something clicked. I… look, you just… you mean a lot to me, Cole. A lot a lot. And I don’t think I had it all pinned down before…” He stole a glance at Cole again. His expression was still mostly confused, but there was a soft sort of twinkle in his eyes. “W-what I mean is, I didn’t really have all my feelings in order, before, but… I think I do now.”

Jay felt Cole’s arm come around his back and hook around his shoulder, pulling him slightly towards the other. He forced himself to meet Cole’s gaze again, no matter how nervous the eye contact made him. The twinkle that was there was stronger now, and Cole’s face was full of meaning. A lot of meaning. “Yeah?” Cole prompted him, tilting his head almost imperceptibly.

Jay clenched his jaw. Here goes nothing. “I love you, Cole.”

“... oh.” Cole blinked slightly in surprise, and Jay felt words just kind of spilling out of him, trying to save face.

“I-it just makes sense! I’m always, yknow, worrying about you, and I got really scared after you fell and everything sort of… fell together after that. I’m in love with you. A-and I think I have been this whole time, and…” He looked again at Cole, and his expression seemed to mostly be… confused, still. Jay exhaled softly, and hung his head. “... I-I’m sorry.”

That made Cole’s expression shift more to concern, and he looked down at Jay in surprise. “Wh- Jay, why are you apologizing for this?” Jay sighed nervously, embarrassedly, and covered his face with his hands. He felt himself messing up

“Because I know that putting it out there would… muck everything up, and I didn’t want this to screw up our friendship, but it probably already did, and I’m just sor-”

“Jay!” Cole’s hands suddenly slipped around Jay’s and moved them off of his face, much to Jay’s surprise. Cole stared at him, expression a mixture of shock and worry and something else. “Jay, please, for a second, stop talking.” He didn’t mean it in a mean way, Jay could tell. Jay bit his lip again, watching Cole anxiously, but stayed quiet, for the moment.

“... Jay, I’ve known you for a long time now, and… I guess I didn’t have my feelings in order either, but nearly dying in a pit of oni and then fighting right by your side today, that… I think that helped things click for me too.” He squeezed Jay’s hands in his lap. Jay felt his heart jump in his chest, and he glanced between the hands and Cole, and Cole was smiling kind of shyly now. Jay‘s mouth fell open slightly. He couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing.

“Wh-what are you saying…?” He asked breathlessly. Cole quirked an eyebrow at his confusion, but the smile didn’t leave. He leaned closer and Jay’s eyes widened when Cole put a hand on his cheek, softly. Setting a thumb under his chin and tilting his head up slightly to meet Cole’s eyes.

“I’m saying that I love you too, Jay.” Jay inhaled sharply, blinked a couple of times, and then a smile slipped onto his face. That… that was it. It felt so… right. The battle was over, and his feelings felt… resolved. And here was the guy he was so impossibly in love with, right in front of him. And he loved him back.

“C-can I kiss you?” Jay found the question slipping out of his mouth with a stutter, and his hand instinctively went up to cover his mouth, and his face felt hot. Cole scoffed affectionately, and his hand went to stop Jay’s, and he leaned closer.

“I was gonna anyway, sparkplug.” And then he leaned close enough to meet Jay’s lips, humming into the kiss and Jay almost felt like he was going to implode. The battle was over, and he was exhausted, but he felt so impossibly exhilarated by the lips against his own that it didn’t even matter. Jay melted into the kiss, and his hands snaked around Cole’s waist and ended up around and on his back. Cole’s hands went back to cupping his face, and Jay could feel him smiling against him. And it all felt so right.

When Cole broke away, his grin was weary but so impossibly genuine, and Jay couldn’t help but laugh and lean forward again, pressing up against Cole in a hug. He buried his head in the Earth Ninja’s shoulder, and it all felt so right.

The battle was over.

#writ.fiz #ninjago #cole ninjago #jay ninjago #bruiseshipping #hope y’all enjoy!!

58 notes · View notes

abloomingperiod · 4 years

Text

baekhyun as a bf

it wasn’t supposed to be this big tbh

you can tell by the fucker’s face, he is annoying af

k seriously tho

even though byun is all smiles and pranks he definitely seems like a serious person on the personal side

constantly asking himself if it’s the right thing to do putting u in such a historically brutal position such as dating an idol

you having to reassure him way too often that it was your decision to make, not his

“sweetie i’m here because i want to stop going off” “cool but like are you su-” “dude i swEAR TO GOD”

it’s not something he likes thinking it just happens okay he’s worried b patient to the babee

since his last relationship didn’t end up very well, he would probably take mONTHS to actually claim you as his girlfriend

seriously tho i fume just thinking about that time

it happened on a friday night when he was playing on the pc, chanyeol was calling and babyboi was like “srry cant talk rn exchanging breaths with my girl”

you were scrunching your nose for a sec but them you realized what he said and were like !!!!

him enjoying the fact his words got you so flustered and playing it cool like chill out dude as if you didn’t know we were dating by now

????????? in fact ou were so surprised bcs u didn’t even know the boys knew abt ur existence

“like... they KNOW??????”

“of cOURSE they know junmyeon would kick my ass if i didn’t explain to him why i missed our dinner last night”

you guys are so comfortable with the fact your relationship ain’t official you decided at the same night thisbis how you prefered to stay like

he’s not okay with going public after what happened in the past and you agree and support his desire to keep it private

i could write a whole essay dissing saesangs

that doesn’t mean he won’t hang out with you

after all, you’ve been friends for ages now

and the boys know abt u

chanyeol keeps biting byun’s butt but you’re okay with that

was there any other option? ofc not

talking about ass

he’s one

honestly such a tease

always finding a way to make u flustered

“babe look at me” “what” “i love you” “god i love you too” “and your ass looks amazing today” “leave me alone”

always slaps your butt

doesn’t matter the context

sexual or not

he loves him some butt

lol dates

like literally you sit there and spend the night playing and eating together

every lol date is a different dish ordered

since you gotta keep it low profile

might as well do it right

he’s an observer

constantly stops what he’s doing to admire you

sometimes you’re like watching a movie or idk brushing ur teeth

he stands there in the door frame all dumbfounded burning loveholes into your skull

you’re like ...stop it

he’s like . no

he’s so emotional i’m not even exaggerating

keeps joking around when he’s around people and everybody seems to think he’s a dork who just can’t stop talking nonsense

(which he is)

but when you guys are alone

oh boy

he’s so sensible

literally writes on post-its and places it around your apartment before he leaves for practice on mornings

not all of them are cute tho

once your friend was like “hey y/n idcwho’s dicking you down but i think the person got the feels”

you completely forgot to take off the “your taste already left my mouth. dinner tonight at 8 and i’ll be eating twice” post-it

he literally put it in your refrigerator’s door

you legit wanted to die

but then on other days it’s like

“i promised, throughout my whole life, this heart belongs to you.”

honestly so intense

when you guys argue it’s like a conquest to see who can act more like a spoiled kid

but basically go off with your frustrations and then one of u ends up cooling off in the shower

later either you or him get in there too asking if the other is feeling better

tbh not that often do u guys fight

most of the times is like

“okay,,, this is unnecessary” “yeah screw it”

but sometimes it gets really heated

and you’re both frustrated

straightforward speaking, you guys have sex

very

rough

sex

he’s a switch k let’s be real

loves making you beg

loves begging for you

not the type to degrade or hurt you or anything

like he’s a light dom

and by that i mean he will pound in you rough and slow until you’re begging him to let you cum but keeps kissing your flushed cheeks and tightly intertwining your hands as he lovingly whispers “you fucking love those type of fights don’t you”

loves LOVES being blindfolded

lowkey a freak but moderately

absolutely loves it when he ties you up and makes you say exactly what you want

will always stuck two or three fingers in so you have a hard time speaking

as i was saying, the absolute worst

“baekhyun... please-“ “fucking say it” “please... baby... fuck me” “hard nut”

is shamelessly vocal

groans

whimpers

desperate moans

aftercare baekhyun is a look

his hair all disheveled, dazed eyes and flushed lips

yk that look from the city lights photoshoot with his glossy skin and damp hair

yeah

he loves you so much and seeing you all blissed out after sex makes him, curiously, very very soft

everything you guys said during the argument is quickly forgotten as you exchange a few sorry’s and deep kisses in between

loves feeling your skin against his as he embraces your shoulders hugging you to his chest

you leave pecks on the scratchings your nails did on his skin and he just lays there all fucked out and smiles like 💕💞💓💘💘💖💗💞💓💗💕💝💘💖💕💞💓💗💗💞💖💘💞💘💖

and he’s horny again

it’s not like he’s a teenager he just absolutely loves being this intimate to you

and then you have a bath together bcs sticky

loves making coffee like at 6am to you so he can wake you up and have breakfast together

the type to wake you in this worst way possible

he rips the sheets off of you

regardless of how cold it is at that hour

and jumps over

“wake up egg”

as you guys head to the kitchen he sits you on his lap and feeds you :(

his arms around your waist and keeps leaving tiny pecks on your cheeks as he rests his cheek on your back and heavily sighs

“ya your breath stinks”

“you stink dummy”

sings ballads out of the blue

you’re like reading or smth

and he’s like

appado gWAENCHANHA

“shut it or i’ll rip off your chords with my bare hands”

“i dare you”

you actually made out after you chased him around the couch

so annoyingly dense

like you were taking your clothes off

his lips on your neck

and then he’s like

“btw my mother wants to meet you”

you literally froze

bra slipping off your shoulders

“????? you mother kNOWS?????”

“ofc she knows she’s my mother wtf”

“!!!!!!!!!BAEKHYUN”

doesn’t understand the concept of Time And Place

once you were on the bathtub massaging his feet after hours of practice and he was like yo ever thought about kids

i ran out of reactions so basically you cursed at him for five minutes

he was like 🥺🥺 just saying srry

it took you more five to explain to him it wasn’t that you hated kids you just thought it was something to talk about on another time

five years another time

maybe ten

he was like k we can have a dog

and now you have a dog together along with mongryong

a cutie called jinx

don’t ask

fucking nerd

you were like

she’s new so treat her as kindly as mongryong

baekhyun is a pain in the ass but in a matter of hours he was like

i bought the same clothes for them

you rolled your eyes but silently got the heart eyes bcs cute

loves watching you dressing yourself

especially for your low profile dates

“hm no too hard to take off”

“...a monochromatic two piece with a zipper in the skirt?”

“my point exactly”

tbh he Is kinda horny

but that’s bcs he’s mad for you

loves it when you style his hair

“baekhyun can’t you stand still for like two minutes” “oh sorry”

you’re standing there, focused on the task

30 secs on it and his hands are already caressing your tummy

you’re like stop i’m bUSY

he’s like no one’s stopping you

but keeps tickling you

idk he really treasures those tiny little details in the moments you spend together

everything is important to him

doesn’t mean he’s like insanely needy of your attention

no you’re two individuals who have their own lives and schedules

he keeps it cool but yeah he’s bananas for you

sorry his words

everything is so domestic with him

and so good

he’s been through a lot throughout the years and this relationship is the calmness he needed

and he’s the fun and lightness you needed after spending so much time trying and acting like a “grownup”

baekhyun brings back the teenager in you

but in a good way

you complete each other so well sigh

cuz you’re like all responsible and shit

he loves the juxtaposition

so do you

idk it feels right

you love like teenagers but live like adults

also his words

#maybe im biased #byun baekhyun scenario #baekhyun imagine #exo imagines #baekhyun drabble #baekhyun exo

143 notes · View notes

stoncs · 4 years

Text

ay buddies what is up ! i’m tay , n i’m here to reintroduce you to my emotional support bag of trash , stone . we were here a minute ago , but now that i have a job w pretty good hours i thought ... huh , isnt it time for stone to be a scumbag again ? anyhow , i’m from the gmt-3 tmz i think , maybe . i go by feminine pronouns , n it’s hot as balls in this wonderful brazilian weather so yall can catch me ugly sweating over here anytime ! so down below u can find a whole ass intro abt this douchenozzle , n if u smash the gd like button i will hit u up for some plots !

𝐈. 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 :

𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 : stone louis liberman

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 : stoney

𝐀𝐆𝐄 : twenty five

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 / 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒 : cismale / he & him

𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 : bisexual , biromantic

𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : part time professional photographer

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 : charles liberman & elena hardwell

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐎 : scott disick , jean ralphio saperstein , chuck bass ( ish ) .

𝐈𝐈. 𝐇𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘

stone was born into what is considered hollywood royalty . kind of like brangelina ( pre breakup ) , or richard burton & liz taylor , or kim & k*nye ( just kidding ) . but yes , they were both really famous actors who were both in commited relationships when they first met on a movie set and fell in mad love with each other . by the time the movie had premiered they were already secretly married and just the most talked about topic in the movie industry .

AND they lived happily ever after . just kidding , mr. liberman died in a car crash when stone was ten years old , and his loss really broke his mother . she grieved the best way she knew how : by drinking a lot and getting remarried less than a year after losing her husband . and then getting remarried 5 more times after that . stone actually gets along really well with most of his mom’s ex-husbands , and is still friends with some of them even after elena eventually ditches them . stone also claims not to remember his dad , but actually does and really misses him and the family they were specially .

in regards of family , his dad had 2 kids before marrying his mom , and his mom had one after losing his dad so he has plenty of siblings . he isn’t particularly close to them since they never saw much of each other growing up , but he is very close to his little sister , who’s 13 and just as chaotic as he is but definitely a lot smarter . he loves her to pieces even though sometimes he thinks she’s satan hiding inside a teenage girl’s body .

okay , so , as previously mentioned , stone views life in a ‘before dad & after dad’ kinda way , in regards that childhood before his father died was amazing , they were always travelling and going to cool spots and having fun . his mom was awesome & he loved his dad to pieces and he never had to go to school . life was like , perfect . and then his dad died and his mother was such a mess . she was having such a hard time dealing with losing him that she honestly couldn’t give stone the affection and structure he needed , so he was mostly left behind in the chicago house with babysitters and homeschool teachers while his mom was off working and getting married . he doesn’t really hold a grudge or anything , but he’s definitely not as close to his mom because of it , it’s like he can’t really connect with her anymore .

stone never went to college , his mom had to actually pay for his high school diploma because she didn’t want him to be a dropout , and stone spent most of his life with zero life prospects , all he did for a while was spend his parent’s money and get super fucked up . that being said , he’s really shaped up the last couple of years & ran with the passion he had for photography . he’s quite a bit more serious about it than most people know , and has shot big pieces for mags like time and rolling stone , but he doesn’t really want anyone creating expectations about him so he usually keeps quiet . ALSO because he’s having sex with a bunch of models who he definitely shouldn’t be associating with , so he likes to keep a low profile .

growing up and to this day , stone never minded the attention he got from being a hollywood baby . he just was never bothered by it , and even like makes it a game to see how many paps he can gather by going out to get groceries or to some fancy sushi place all the celebs are going to . he’s basically an attention wh*re , we hate him .

ALSO he is a daddy ! literally has a five year old son who’s called bodhi . there’s a lot of drama with his mother so he doesn’t get to see him very often , but he loves bodhi very much and is a pretty good dad ? not the best , but he tries really hard to be good actually .

𝐈𝐈𝐈. 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

stone is generally a great person to be around if you’re looking for a good time , he’s always up to something fun and anything you wanna do that most people would consider crazy , stone is the guy that will say hell yea and not think twice to do it with you . he loves to be surrounded by people and is just a party animal .

he’s also super chill . crazy chill . too chill . nothing gets him mad , like , nothing . usually that annoying dude who will tell you to calm down when you’re arguing and make you wanna choke him . the least threatening dude you will ever meet .

just a cool dude to have around overall , like people are always having fun when they’re around him .

but ... has NO moral compass , not even a single ounce of it . he is the most opportunistic person . will 100% do whatever it takes to get things to go his way , and has no concern about how his actions affect others . he usually thinks since nothing bothers him , he can do whatever he wants to everyone else and no one will mind .

kinda a nice douchebag ? he’s really charming and nice and cool but will probably screw you over at least once in your life , maybe more if you let him ngl .

𝐈𝐕. 𝐅𝐔𝐍 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒

is a vegetarian ! tried to go vegan once but he really likes chocolate milk and gave up .

speaks very slowly , says ‘i mean’ , and ‘uh’ , a lot . you’ve probably asked him to talk a little faster once or twice .

is named stone because he was conceived at a rolling stones concert . shout out to mick jagger . his mom always tells him that and he is traumatized by it .

does a LOT of drugs , if he ever zones out feel free to assume he’s tripping about purple crocodiles or something freaky .

is 6 foot tall and very clumsy about it !

was actually born in greece .

𝐕. 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐒

best friend : someone who’s been there for stone through pretty much everything and vice versa , knows all his fuckups and either tries to get him to become a better human being or just fucks up right along with him .

half sibling : they’re kinda awkward in that … cousins at family get together type of way ? stone doesn’t particularly see this person as his actual sibling and they neither love nor hate each other , it’s just rly awkward .

skinny love : they’re like … the relationship that never was ? they both cared about one another , but for some reason didn’t end up together so now …. weirdness happens ? they dont really know where they stand with one another n might still care but it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna happen .

exes on good or bad terms : like previously mentioned ... stone is kinda an asshole , so his relationships mostly end up not in the best way possible ? that being said , he can sometimes be decent , so maybe there could be relationships that end up in a generally positive note ? possibly .

CHEATING PLOTS : honestly stone might be the king of cheating ? he just doesn’t care ? he’s such an asshole . this doesn’t even have to be romantic either ? he could have hooked up with someone his friend liked or someone’s MOM , like . he just cheats everyone on everything all the time .

first love : the person who he thought was going to give him the romance that his mom and dad had , could have ended on good or bad terms but he always holds a special place in his heart for them .

flings or fwbs : he probably has plenty of those because stone is at a phase in life where he doesnt really believe in monogamy ? i’m serious i hate him . he probably has a bunch of flings and not gonna lie , he could be stringing some of them along just because i love me some drama .

platonic siblingish friendship : someone he doesn’t even think about being with . probably someone he kind of sees like a sibling and is just really protective about .

party pals : they don’t really have much in common , but they have a great time whenever there are parties and fun adventures around .

bad blood : stone doesn’t really hate anyone , but there are definitely people he’s uncomfortable around or who’s presence he’s really not fond of ? possibly a lot of cold shouldering and some snarky remarks , nothing to extreme though .

okay so i feel like this ran a little long . it probably did . a lot of it was recycled from my old intro but yall still wouldnt believe how long that took me . so like this if u hate stone & lets plot !

#wealthyhq:intro #( 𝒍 . 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒆 ) / * out of character .#hi buddies !#this took a while to get posted bc i had a very unusually busy day #we love a social girl #cant wait to not leave the house for the next 2 weeks

17 notes · View notes

petepark · 4 years

Text

day 3: aus

@gothkidsweek2019 day 3: aus. here’s a scene from a superhero au that i refuse to write any more of because i don’t care abt superheros. in turn this isn’t really about superheros and more of just. “i have feelings and i’m going to yell them at you, fuck you.” anyways. cheers! it’s pete/damien, and me absolutely tearing apart my main ship, so that’s fun.

As soon as they crossed the threshold of their base, Hell’s Fire tackles him to the ground, capturing The Crow’s wrists in a pair of ‘magical’ handcuffs.

“Hey- what the fuck-” Crow tries to yell, but Hell’s Fire has him pinned, knees on either side with some satanic assistance keeping him held fast to the floor.

“Not everything has to be about that fucking Boy Wonder.” Fire snarls, and Crow huffs, scowling at him from under his mask.

“Why do you care?” Crow snaps, trying to wiggle against his comrade’s restraints.

“He doesn’t care about you!” Hell’s Fire yells. The Crow stills, momentarily. “You keep damn near throwing our missions to flirt with a boy who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you!”

“Shut up,” Crow says, after a brief moment.

“‘Shut up’!?” Hell’s Fire repeats. “How many times has he thrown you aside at the drop of a hat? Because he’s a hero, and what are we? Mercenary scum in comparison to the bloody super kids.”

“We’ve worked on the same side!” The Crow tries to defend.

“Because we were paid to do so!” Hell’s Fire stresses. “Paid by that fat raccoon bastard for a momentary truce, yes we’ve worked with them, but how many times have we worked against them?”

There’s a thin layer of red haze filling the room, denser just around Fire’s masked eyes. On the battlefield, it’s terrifying. A calculated call, a tactic used to throw off their targets. It’s not calculated here. There’s nothing precise about the mist that fills their home base. Just emotions that have run too high.

Hell’s Fire leans forward suddenly, unclipping The Crow’s long mask.

“Fire, what are-?” The Crow says, but Fire’s pulling off the bird mask and setting it to the side before he can finish.

Pete stares up at him, face flushed red. The eye makeup he’d been wearing before they were called out was smeared and awkward.

There’s a long moment of hesitation, before Hell’s Fire reaches up and pulls off his own yellow mask, and sends it flying halfway across the room. Damien glares down at him, his eyes glowing red.

And they’re quiet, for a few, long moments. Damien’s hands are shaking, balled up fists in Pete’s overcoat.

And then he pushes himself forward, pressing his lips to Pete’s.

Pete’s eyes call shut and he returns the kiss with relative ease. It’s not... he didn’t... He couldn’t say he was expecting this. Like, at all. But... what can you do? Damien is a handsome man. And Pete’s hands are pinned to the floor, so it’s not like he could push him away.

(Not that he wants to, either.)

They kiss, for a long moment. It’s soft, and gentle, and nothing at all like how they fight, like how they portray themselves on the battlefield. There’s no bite to Damien’s kisses, just something delicate, something warm. (He tastes like cinnamon.)

Something wet hits Pete’s face, and he opens his eyes while Damien continues his gentle kisses.

“Hey.” Pete says, between Damien’s lips. He doesn’t stop, or pull away, just continues his gentle assault. “Damien, hey. Please... Damien.”

He stills at that. Doesn’t open his eyes, doesn’t move away. Pete can feel his breath.

“Damien,” Pete repeats, voice light, and that does the trick. Ever so slowly, he pulls back. Sitting up and silently looking down at the boy he still has pinned to the ground.

There are tears in his eyes, heavy and glistening. His face is a patchy red, and he looks... he looks miserable. Pete stares up at him and his heart hurts.

“Can I have my hands back, please.” Pete whispers. Hands, the ability to sit up, those would be nice. There’s a split second of fear that passes through Damien’s eyes before he regains his control. He rolls his eyes and snaps his fingers, and the magic bonds keeping Pete down disappear in an instant.

With a bit of effort, Pete sits up, and suddenly Damien is in his lap. (Pete’s sure they look absolutely ridiculous, Damien’s 6′4 in comparison to Pete’s 5′6, but it doesn’t matter.)

Pete takes Damien’s face in his hands, gently wiping his cheeks clear of tears. Damien averts his eyes, glaring at the floor beside them.

“Hey,” Pete says, “look at me.” After a moment, he tacks on a quiet “please.”

Damien meets his eye, slowly, awkwardly, and Pete gives him a gentle smile. He leans in, pressing his lips to Damien’s, and in an instant the taller boy melts before him, falling into the kiss with ease. Slowly, his arms find their way around Pete’s chest, and his hands claw at the back of his overcoat. He’s still shaking. Pete kisses him once more, and then pulls back, watching Damien’s eyes flutter open. Pete gives him a small smile, and moves his loose curls out of his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He says, and Damien goes red, turning to glare at the floor.

“Shut up.” Damien murmurs. Pete huffs a little laugh.

“No, I’m serious.” Pete sighs. “You should’ve, I don’t know, told me, that it was bothering you... We- we’re a team, you know?” Reassurance definitely isn’t Pete’s (or The Crow’s) strong point, but...

“Partners in crime.” Damien mutters.

“And in crime-fighting.” Pete snickers. Damien gives a little smile. Damien takes a deep sigh, and then covers Pete’s hand, still holding his cheek, with his own. He moves Pete’s hand and gently kisses his palm.

“You’re a fool-” he says, and Pete squawks, indignantly- “But I knew this when I fell in love with you...”

Pete’s face goes red, and his eyes drop to Damien’s shoulder. “I-”

“Nope, I’m talking.” Damien cuts him off. “You have a lot of feelings. I know this, even if you and all your little friends like to claim you’ve killed them years ago. Super Boy’s your primary target, and I can live with that. What I can’t live with, is you throwing our jobs, the things we’re paid to do, aside, because you see him standing across the street with his thumb up his ass.

“I don’t care if you love me back. I care about neither of us getting fucked on account of a crush.” Damien hesitates, shaking his head. “Yours or mine.”

A brief montage of the number of times Damien had taken the brunt of the fire in place of him plays in his head. Hm.

“I know you’re only kissing me to get me to shut up, but I appreciate it nonetheless. I kind of lost my shit.”

“I-,” Pete makes a face, finally looking up at Damien again. “Why are you so weird.”

Damien shrugs, giving a sly smile. He removes himself from Pete’s lap and stands, rubbing the back of his arm across his face. “Side effect of being raised in Hell.” He says, then turns on his heel. “Feel free to kiss me any time you’d like! I won’t be mad.” He goes and picks up his mask from the floor, throwing it up in the air and catching it. Then, he snaps his fingers and the mask is gone, along with his suit, immediately dressed down to a pair of jeans and a cardigan. “Now then, if you need me, pay the fine, you know the deal.” He waves his hand dismissively, and walks down the halls of their base, disappearing down one of the corridors.

Pete’s still for a long moment, because, honestly, what? Why are superheros and super-adjacent people like this. Why did he drag himself into this lifestyle? What the fuck. He lies back onto the concrete floor, squinting up at the ceiling. His plague doctor’s mask is sitting beside him. He grabs it deftly and puts it on, clipping it back into place. Tighten the straps, embrace the rose tinted glass.

...Maybe Crow could deal with this easier than Pete could.

(Ha. Yeah right.)

#goth kids week 2019 #pete thelman #damien thorn #damien/pete #damien be like. italics.#this was only proofread ilke once MAYBE so sry if theres mistakes :(

6 notes · View notes

magimagali · 6 years

Text

wrote a longass thing abt. what’s been goin on with me. ajhfdjg it’s incredibly long-winded and personal and i dunno if it’s appropriate to even post it here but uhhmm m yeah

lately I've been giving some serious thought to what I wanna do w/ my life, and the diff possibilites and options have swirled around enough times in my head that I'm convinced just Thinking about it isn't going to get me anywhere..... but maybe writing about it will? so I'm just going to dump my thoughts here

the options I've been considering are:

a) go to an art school out of state

b) go to an in-state liberal arts college and move into the dorms

or c) live at home, the place I've lived all my life, and get my AA at a community college

going to an art school is the option that tugs at me the most, but of all of them is probably the scariest -- go figure lol

the art school I would like to go to is in Minnesota which is kinda my home away from home and also where my dad's side of the family lives, and I love that side of my fam dearly so it wouldn't be completely unfamiliar territory and I wouldn't be all alone. but it would mean moving out of my hometown and separated from the family i'm Most familiar with. that part is terrifying to me bc I'm an EXTREME homebody and family+home takes top priority in my life, no question. but bc it's so important to me it inhibits me from spreading my wings in some ways. and I know in someways I would really evolve by doing something that huge and scary and uncomfortable. but I don't know if it's really necessary to try and resist that part of me when it is... a Part of Me. being a homebody doesn't Have to be a flaw I need to try and grow out of. but it does suck to think about the opportunities I could miss out on due to the immense anxiety I feel about leaving my hometown and family.

(another art school option that I fantasize about is calarts, which would be even scarier than going to the MN school, plus the odds of me getting in are ... lmao, but it's worth mentioning. going to calarts would make me feel absolutely fulfilled and proud of myself for Once In My Life, I think. that's the most alluring thing about it.)

but art school is fucking expensive. drowning in debt after going to a school that prepares you to work in a field that is so competitive, and knowing that it's highly likely that I could only find a career by being at the right place at the right time, or finding the right connections.... it all sounds so risky and tricky and it just. aughhggh. then again that's probably true for most professions...

I also think about how art school could potentially ruin art for me. it really scares me to think about the line between work and play becoming blurred when it comes to art... art is something precious and personal and if it lost its spark as a result of it becoming my job for possibly the rest of my life, it feels like part of me would Die . like that's dramatic af but.

so... those are the things I think about when I think abt going to art school. on the other hand, I'd learn so much, and grow so much as both and artist and a person, and even if it's not perfect I just might really enjoy it. it might be the only career that would make me feel truly happy and fulfilled. i think if i were to follow my heart, art would be the thing I'd want to pursue career-wise. but the stakes feel so high.

if I went to the in-state liberal arts college, it would cost less than an art school but more than a cc, but it's much more inspiring and more conducive to personal growth than I think a cc would be -- not that a cc wouldn't help me grow at all, but just that it's an entirely different experience living at a college and immersing yourself in the community and your studies. plus, I've taken two quarters at the school already, and I know I like the people and classes. but I don't know exactly what I would want to study, is the problem. it's a nonconventional school where u build ur own interdisciplinary degree, so I would probably do some mix of psychology/art/literature or. smth. if I decided not to pursue a career in art, I can also see myself becoming a teacher, or a therapist. those both do interest me, but they don't exactly... tug me in the same way doing art profesionally does. so it feels lacking and a bit depressing in that way. but that doesn't mean they don't sound fulfilling and inspiring in other ways. and I know I can always do art as a hobby if I don't pursue it as a career, + doing it just as a hobby would also be the safest route.

moving there also really scares me bc I just don't know if I'm ready for it yet, or if I ever will be ready to move out of my mom's house tbh. I Have to move out eventually though, so it's like... there's no point in waiting until I'm ready if that feeling of being ready and prepared never actually comes. I should just go for it. and the fact that I'm so scared of living in a college an hour away from my mom's house makes the idea of going to an art school out of state feel like an impossible feat.

but it's like, doing those things that feel impossible and terrifying would do more to help me grow and evolve than anything else. and it's like, the more ambitious and drastic the choice I make is, the more. Valid I feel, the more I feel successful I feel and therefore just. worth something. I want to make myself and my family proud, even though my parents just don't roll that way at all-- they genuinely just want me to be happy. my siblings put more pressure on me than anyone else to go to college, get a job, get a house etc all the Adult things, and they don't actually put all that much pressure on me beyond judging me when I tell them I'm taking a break from school and just. visiting once in a blue moon, judging my lifestyle when it doesn't adhere to their standards, then completely forgetting abt my whole deal and what I'm doing w/ my life to focus on their own once they leave. and their expectations for me are really just projections of their own expectations for themselves, and their priorities and goals and. everything. they're just so different from me. but despite all that, their approval of me means So Much to me and guides my decisions, and when it doesn't, it's their voices in the back of my head telling me what a loser and failure I am for not following their version of a successful path.

anyway. the last option is to go to a community college and get my aa, since I can't figure out what I want to do for sure yet, and I'd rather go to school than do nothing at all (even tho I'm working on trying to open an art shop thing, but it's just not fulfilling enough...). going to a community college would be the cheapest, safest, most comfortable option. but it doesn't exactly inspire me... and i think some people upon finding out that's what I decided to do would be really doubtful, and might even try to talk me out of it, or just be generally really unimpressed and cynical abt it.

and i think i just. put entirely too much stock into other what other ppl think. but i have no idea how to silence other ppl's voices and opinions and listen to my own. i have NOOOo freaking clue to just trust my gut and follow my heart. it's all too clouded up in there with other ppl's expectations and fears of being judged or criticized.

i just. really want to feel like the decisions i make on my own, w/ my own best interest in mind, are supported. but it feels like they're only supported on strict conditions w/ some people. my parents are unconditionally supportive... to a point...... they're skeptical of me going to art school bc of how expensive it is. when i've talked to them abt it, i haven't left the convo feeling encouraged. they're just as scared as i am abt the money part.

i fucking hate money . i hate. capitalism. that's prob dumb of me to say bc i know next to nothing abt it but like. i hate this system i was forced into and all of its peripheries and i hate thinking the education system is probably more interested in shaping me to better fit into capitalist society than it is in actually helping me learn and grow as an individual. i don't know if that's necessarily true... and like, teachers are amazing and can be so passionate, and it's not like school doesn't help you learn and grow -- that's. literally what it's for?? but. ghjgrhhhg i don't have the energy to explain but i'm just Mad abt capitalism

i want to go to school bc. i want to learn, and it's a way for me to connect with a whole community of ppl, and it just opens up a lot of opportunities and makes me feel like I'm really Living. but like. it's scary to go when i'm not sure what exactly it is i want to do. it's scary to go to a regular college and feel bad abt not going to an art school, and it's scary to go to an art school and possibly lose my passion for it and also be crazy poor, and everything is just. scary. and i'm only fuckin 20 but i feel so urgently that i need to hurry up and do something. and i don 't. KNOWWW. WHAT TO DOOOO so i think really hard abt it desperately trying to find a conclusion i'm happy with, but i second-guess and talk myself out of every decision before i can make it, and nothing feels satisfying, and i feel unsure and helpless all the time, and i don't know what i want or what would be best for me, and i can't get help from anyone bc these are decisions I need to make On My Own but i fucking don't know howwwww

and i just feel so lost and alone and frightened and frustrated and exhausted and lazy and weak and cowardly and. everything is hard

#prob delete later #lol the way i opened this it sounds like i'm gonna talk abt really emotionally vulnerable stuff but Mostly i'm just a struggling millennial #upd8: writing abt it brought me next to no newfound clarity on anything but it was. kind a comforting to get it off my chest at least #FUUUUCK SORRY I forgot readmores don't work on mobile 💦💦

72 notes · View notes

cvenir · 6 years

Text

imma try this again bc i said y’know fck it (heh) bc i need to introduce these characters before making proper bios ok here we go

so actually since i did do zella, felix, and gwenna’s bios, i’ll actually just leave them out of the intro bc like.... i have 8 more lmao so like here you can find their bios in the first three circles n also imma link all the pinterests aGAIN bc they probably do more than i can

these are gonna be crude n real cut n dry but let’s face it who has time to read everything abt all 11 ok this is for US

CHRISTOPHER ‘KIT’ MILLER looks an awful lot like DONALD GLOVER. HE is THIRTY-TWO and while they’re MAGNETIC, they have a tendency to get pretty MERCENARY. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DEGAS PARK by KEVIN ABSTRACT.

ok so kit is my son !! he is kinda a shitty person but it’s a result of his upbringing entirely like he was raised in a household of self-obsession and pre-occupation with the material things. aka he’s like filthy rich bc his parents are well-known in the entertainment business

his father is a rlly big time actor like he is thaT GUY ( my star wars lovin ass likes to pretend he’s billy dee williams bc lando unite but anyway unrelated ) and his mother is a super awesome film director so he grew up with that hanging over his shoulders. his dad was always really hard on him and pushed him to become an actor too but he isn’t abt that life (only to spite his dad lbr)

also his parents were lke actively trying not to have kids so his dad always kinda held that against kit and resented him from day one meanwhile his mother embraced it so :/

his mom is everything he ever dreamed of in a mother, and even tho she was always a bit too busy for him, she never let it affect their relationship and they’re still very close

so yeah kit is that fancy ass man like he bathes in the opulence. he doesn’t do much but gamble and parade his wealth around –– except he has invested in many businesses so like he can be p serious n focused on that sometimes bc like

$$$$

also he loves his ladies. like a lot. pls someone allow him to be the suGAR DADDY WE ALL DESERVE!!! but fr no that’s his biggest downfall like in his song inspo he can get very caught up in his emotions and rlly lose his head bc like he is calm cool and calculating and distant for the most part but once he gets attached it’s like he craves the connection and he can get very lost

anyway also bring me a plot where they may have grown up together and he’s very defensive over them like he doesn’t always get close to people but this person means the world to him and maybe he’s been lowkey in love his whole life but like whatever who talks abt feelings n ruins something so special he could never

yeah so idk what more to say at this point so yeah hmu w questions bc i could probably go off again

ROSALIND LEPAGE looks an awful lot like ADELAIDE KANE. SHE is TWENTY-FOUR and while they’re RESILIENT, they have a tendency to get pretty QUIXOTIC You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to MELTING by KALI UCHIS.

okay now this is my baby. she is a sweet lil buttercup and only wants the best in life but it never comes to her ugh i’m wounded.

so she was born and raised in kola, v much small-town girl vibes. she absolutely loves it here but since growing up the town was really been stained by disappointment :/ when she was seventeen both of her parents like went missing just like completely disappeared leaving her and her six-year-old sister just completely alone which really fucked up her plans bc she was already accepted to a top-tier music school in new york for college for her passion for violin but she had to turn it down bc her sister was now her responsibility

so she dropped out of highschool and got her ged and immediately entered the work force, leaving her dreams in the dust. she still plays every now and then, especially whenever there’s an open mic night at the coffee shop where she works like girl plugs in her amp n everything i love her

anyway like she doesn’t resent anyone or blame her sister bc she’s just so compassionate and selfless like she didn’t hesitate to change her life to support her sis but it does still kill her to know that her life just kinda never took off and probs never will. but now she just channels all that sadness into fighting to make sure her sister doesn’t end up stuck like she did

so yeah she’s just a huge sweetheart who loves doing things for others and she’s so so soft like someone hold my lil muffin :/ she can get way too caught up in dreams sometimes but y’know that’s life!!!

DIEGO CABRERA looks an awful lot like XAVIER SERRANO. HE is TWENTY-THREE and while they’re VIVACIOUS, they have a tendency to get pretty ERRATIC. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to DO IT AGAIN by NO ROME.

so one of the messiest children ever, he is here. ngl i got a lot of inspo from adam sackler from girls for my son diego so if u feel me, word.

basically pls meet the world’s biggest narcissist –– he’s just like appalling sometimes but he really is trying his best. my boi grew up in kola and always planned on moving to LA to pursue his dream of being an actor and wow is he perfect for that bc my guy is the most dramatic and expressive hot mess you’ll ever find

his mind is always moving 100 miles a minute and he just says the craziest things ??? like he doesn’t know where to stop. diego is super passionate abt his own life and what he wants to do and what he believes; he won’t let you forget it either. he’s always here to share a piece of his mind whether you want it for not and he’s not afraid to turn people away bc his opinions are valid !!

like he’s sooo selfish and doesn’t even hide his own agenda, but ngl once you get him attached there’s no going back like he really gives everything his all and will devote anything it takes to procure happiness for those he loves

like he’s rrlly terrible but he truly has a good head on his shoulders and a good heart in his chest n it’ll beat for u rll hard if u earn it (thru his means ofc)

like when i say god complex i mean it

but c’mon pls give me the plot where like this person pined after him for such a fuckin long time and he legit only used them for sex n didn’t even hide it (like fr seconds after rolling over he said ‘so are you gonna leave now ? bye) bUT y’know they’ve been hooking up for so long to where he actually got invested and wanted them to come to his rehearsals and share his passion w them and they just like ..... stopped caring all of a sudden. so now he’s sad boi and mad boi bc after basically begging for him to give a fuck they up and ran when his heart got invOLVED LIKE FUCK ME fr this is the song and i need this connection pLS LOVE ME

anyway he’s a mess but i love him

PIPER KOVALSKY looks an awful lot like EMMY ROSSUM. SHE is TWENTY-SEVEN and while they’re NURTURING, they have a tendency to get pretty CALAMITOUS. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to COFFEE & CIGARETTES by VIC MENSA.

awhh pipes.... my poor bb. she is also quite the mess!!

but lbr it’s all her fucking fault lmao like her life literally never took off but she has no one to blame but herself. like she just really has a talent for ruining things whenever they get good and she doesn’t even try too my bb just does not think abt ramifications ever

piper was also born and raised in kola but she’s hopped around from area to area bc she can’t keep a lease going to save her life

or a job

she’s a big fan of cigareetes and alcohol and partying but whenever she indullges in anything they kinda have a perfect way of getting her in trouble. like she really wants to stop living like a vagrant but her cyncicsm really gets her down so she barely tries

she has a few siblings that she really wants to protect bc they’re headed down her path as well but she can’t even keep her life straight ugh :/

but ok so she’s truly the biggest softie on the inside like she cares soooo fucking much and she does a terrible job at pretending she doesn’t. but ya girl still tries!

ok so time for me to go off abt a wanted connect!!!! so her song is coffee & cigarettes and it’s a bop find it here pLS and i just really feel in my bones that this should be a connection ok. give me that high school lovers that were never lovers bc all piper could focus on was her own self-destruction n rlly living it up so she just completely shut this person out when it finally became real :/ so yeah it’s a fucking mess and she’s never truly moved on

anyway i should probably move onto the next muse lmao

MALCOLM WEST looks an awful lot like REECE KING. HE is TWENTY-TWO and while they’re JOCULAR, they have a tendency to get pretty CAVALIER. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to EPITAPH by HIPPO CAMPUS. –––––– may or may not be inspired by jake peralta

when i say he’s a goofster i mean he is a goofster and a gaffster ok

my tiny son who just wants to be a big bad detective and fight crime and just crack jokes along the way he is the meme king and he’ll let you know it

he grew up in atlanta where both of his parents were cops so he really just always dreamed of being just like them one day

until his dad told him he’d never make it. that crushed his spirit entirely and ever since then he really kinda just figured out who his dad was ?? he caught him cheating on his mom and also just being a dirty cop and it just broke his heart bc that was his hero. and y’know malcolm gooddoer and fighter for justice so he went to his mom with this discovery and she just kind of admitted that she knew abt all of it but couldn’t do anything abt it so... he just kinda left and moved to kola to start over

he entered the police academy there as soon as he possibly could (18 i think maybe 19 if i’m dumb ) and just did not stop working his ass off and doing all kinds of paperwork and bust until he finally reached detective just a week ago

don’t get me wrong ya boi hates paperwork but he’s gotta do what he’s gotta do !!

anyway he’s a clown but he loves life and and even tho he’s a child he can take some things seriously

aside from his true feeling heh who ?? i don’t know her n imma just tell a joke or do an impression or smth instead

alsO idk if anyone knows chew the comic series but he dEF IS GONNA HAVE THOSE POWERS FOR THE SUPERHERO/SUPERNATURAL THREAD stay tuned

CAMBRIA SONG looks an awful lot like JENNIE KIM. SHE is TWENTY-ONE and while they’re IDEALISTIC, they have a tendency to get pretty WHIMSICAL. You’ve probably seen them around Kola listening to MARCELINE by WILLOW.

ok first of all her pinterest is a whole ass aesthetic and u basically see everything she’s abt on there 10/10 would reccommend

now this is a smol bean that is also a bad bitch and we stan !! she’s your astrology loving, extra ass, witty lil witch and she loves adding in her two cents! she’s a sweet lil thing but her bite is bigger than her bark so watch out fr

mostly imma have her in the supernatural verse (witch heh heh), demi-god verse (u kno she’s hecate’s daughter), n maybe the horror verse bc i want my bb to be a medium like lorraine warren that’s my girl!!

other than that catch her throwing out ur natal chart, charging n cleansing her cyrstals, n offering free tarot readings! really she has her mf shit together n loves helping ppl w spiritual awakenings ok

here is a pic of her two sides conversing ok big meme here

anyway i’m a big fan of her pinterest and i hope that gives everyone a good vibe for her bc tbh i’m tired lol

so imma do my other three muses in another post tomorrow bc !!! ya girl is feeling lazy now lmao sry this took so long geez

#round two here we go #i have a good amount of wanted connects in here so thank god for that #fckit:intro #i used the wrong tag i love myself

7 notes · View notes

wbster · 6 years

Text

so awhile back, like probably a good few months ago now, the loml sakra sent me an ask ft. a bunch of urls when i was feeling particularly positive and wanted to spread some love around. ngl, i had to work on this list for a few days, and i even started tweaking it here and there today. n u know what ?? i’m not abt to write this much (especially for my Sun And Stars, Y’all) and let it go to waste. so, continuing forth...

CECE. [ buddy vc ] cece! i know them! i know them !!!!! okay cece, buckle up for a second because i am about to love the HELL out of you. first and foremost, i’d just like to thank you for being my home skillet, and i value your presence both on my dash n in my life, despite how little we interact. which is sad, bc i ? have known you since we both rped michael, and even then i think it was just like ,, quiet + mutual respect. but let me tell u smth. u ? my friend ???? not only do i have respect for you, i have mad respect. which is like. a whole new level and subcategory of respect. when you write a character, you add your own special qualities to them, qualities that, while they may not have any canon grounding (but since when has canon been relevant ??), feel canon. like, when i think of your characters, there’s this part of me that substitutes your version. you are very talented in this regard, and i applaud you, because it can be very difficult to make a character of ones portrayal so...y’know. impressionable to others, i guess??? (idk the exact word i’m sorry ,) but here u are, doing it with practiced ease and blowing me away as per usual. keep up the good work !!!!! i’m so proud of u !!!!!!!!

BREE. i’ve followed you since i was still on grover, and we haven’t talked a whole lot, but irregardless, you have amazed me time and time again. as someone who doesn’t check their dash frequently or anything like that, it’s always. such a joy when i do decide to really check toomblr and see you on it? ooc, ic —— all of it. like! you seem like a hella rad person, and that’s sugarcoating it. you just seem! rly rly cool to be around, and, like, i say this in the best way possible, you’re a total meme and just. kasjdfnl. i love seeing what you have to say about...literally anything and everything, you’re good with Words (tm) both when it comes to actual threads and generally speaking, and. you’re so friendly and, this might sound weird, you just feel like someone that’s trustworthy n ! listen bree i’m sorry i’m probably stumbling over myself, here, but you are Cool; Premium, even, and you’re such. a good person. that’s a rock fact alright,

ELI. hey so uuuuuh did y’all know i love eli-minator lastname because, i do. i vividly remember the first thing you ever said to me being “i’m a rich stan first and a person second” when i told you i thought you did a fantastic job of portraying him and were just generally cool, and i can’t quote you on that, but Trust Me, i remember. i know we don’t talk a whole lot, and our conversations usually happen randomly for . rly short durations of time, but getting the chance to interact with you has been...so good these past few months. the amount of love you feel for all your muses is overwhelming, and it honestly !!! warms my heart to see you get so passionate, and, tbh, just to hear (or read?) you talk in general. you’re so kind and intelligent and, frankly, funny as hell, and i will appreciate you to the ends of the earth —— and you can quote me on that, because i’m being serious, here. i love you, i truly do, and i know that’s gay as hell but i genuinely appreciate your friendship, and it means so much to me. thanks fam. tldr; i’m an eli stan first and a person second.

HILARY. look, the only interaction i’ve had with hilary is that One (1) Cursed Thread, but I LOVE ! like !! heck !!! look at u go hot Dang ! your nico is...just absolutely phenomenal, fam, and i say that with the utmost sincerity. reading your threads when they pop up on the dash is such a treat, and it’s fun to see you interact with all these different characters and see how you adjust nico to different situations !! you are undeniably creative, a fact that i will personally fight to defend if anyone says otherwise, and ur ?!!!!!! so so nice ,, like even in the tags i see nothing but kindness from u tbh ??? this part feels really short bc i , rly don’t know much abt u, and on top of that we haven’t really talked, but. honestly. i hope ur having a good day bc u deserve it, my friend!!

KAT. wow, icb i have the honor of calling The leo v.a.ldez my friend?? wrow....wrow.............in all actuality, i’m so glad to see someone in the rpc (scratch that, in the fandom to begin with) that adores leo as much as you do. you put so much thought into his character and, unlike a lot of people, acknowledge the things he has been through and make him more than the comedic relief a lot of folks reduce him to. but that’s not all. on top of having outstanding characterization, you are funny, bright, and just a sweet (both kickass and kind) person all around! it’s so much fun to discuss hc’s and plot with you, like...honestly, i get so excited to talk about our Sad Kids ™ ??????? all the time ???????? you’re just. so awesome, and i cannot thank u enough fr bringing even more light into my life fam.

SAKRA. i bet you thought i wasn’t gonna put you on here, did you? well, jokes on you, sakra, because i love you, and therefor, you’re getting suplexed on this shit whether you like it or not. i would just like to give you a big warm kudos for all the time and effort you have put into developing laine, zane, and their whole universe. you love them, so much, and it’s so obvious in the way you portray and speak about them. and dede!!!!!!! i would Die for dede !!!!!!!! tbh tho, i would die for you, too, though, so I Mean ,,, but, legit. i truly believe that you’re gonna go places and i can’t wait for the day that your name is up there amongst the big guys :heart_emoji:

this isn’t for anyone in particular, but i just wanna say that every single one of you, even the ones who aren’t on this list, are loved. you might not have faith in yourself, and you might think yourself lesser than other writers on here, but just know that you can only go up in your abilities. it’s okay to go through rough times; it’s okay to have low points. that’s how life is. but you are all so outrageously amazing and inspiring, and god, y’all are so fucking valid. that sounds like a joke, but i’m not kidding! i just ! lov u guys and i want you to know that i’m not the only one who does, okay? u got this. u got this.

#long post /#i’m mobile so i can’t put anything under the cut BUR #*BUT

12 notes · View notes

blacknovelist · 6 years

Note

Hie, if you are still taking asks for your AWESOME ageswap BNHA AU, I have an ask that I would like to see your novel length answers for: What do you think would happen and Canon!All Might & Ageswap!Deku's reactions would be in the combined world if a villain somehow managed to kidnap Canon!Deku & Ageswap!Toshinori? And the kidnapper managed to snatch Canon!Shouto and Ageswap!Engi as well? I can imagine that between the two, only Ageswap!Shouto would join the others them.

BUDDY, MY PAL, FRIEND, ANON, LIGHT OF MY LIFE……… ageswap is absolutely 1000% of the time always a thing (In general, BNHA AU’s are, haha) and I’m so glad you asked because in general I’ll take any excuse to take things and just go

I can’t believe you came here wanting me to talk for ten years gghlsnfiskfj

I’ve been looking for things to overthink and analyze lately and u, my friend, are officially an enabler of my awful rambling tendencies. You, every other anon and person that’s ever asked me about anything and also @guardianlioness, because naturally she’s my partner in crime for Ageswap and the moment I showed her your ask we absolutely ran with it.

(–> As context for anyone jumping into the Ageswap bandwagon, here’s the tag. Generally speaking the way the Ageswap meets Canon thing works is that Ageswap 1-A gets mysteriously transported into canon and end up having to stick around while they figure out how to send Ageswap 1-A and whoever came along, like Inko and some Ageswap teachers, back to their universe again.

There’s actually also an AU of an AU in which, through means unrelated to our favourite class, both universes get fused together, which is the Ultimate Combo Verse and was 100% mostly lioness’s idea and it’s frankly just great. Basically, everything is the same, everyone exists as both kids and adults at the same time. During this fusion process, Ageswap 1-A ends up needing to stay with canon 1-A. That’s relevant because Lionesss suggested that this whole situation take place while Ageswap is staying with canon, but mostly tangentially bc it can work out without that anyway. I just wanted to mention it.)

So like…. there’s several ways and reasons for all our kids to be brought into trouble like this, and it means there’s like, thousands of ways for this scenario to play out (with a billion little details to change)and god i love it. We figure in this case, it would be while they’re all in one universe, as opposed to some situation where a baddie is going cross-dimensional to kidnap everyone separately or something. The way it’s been settled is, someone probably used the Quirk Trigger drugs on them to make the boys’ powers go out of control, so that it would be easier to kidnap them. It would take a lot of planning, and just getting a hold of the drugs would use up a great deal of resources probably!

It would also be the easiest part of the entire situation.

Listen, if anyone decided it would be a good idea to take these kids? There’s at least like, 40 reasons why that’s a terrible idea and most/all those reasons are not above working with each other and in various configurations to create even more reasons why it’s a terrible idea. Buildings leveled, oceans split, mountains shattered… there’s few things more dangerous than a dad on a mission, let alone the group of dads we have going on here (going by adoption and blood technically it’s the Dad Trifecta, but obviously canon Aizawa is also in on this so it’s actually the Dad Quartet).

Basically, this whole thing is the apocalypse upon us, my dude.

That’s not even getting into the 1-A’s. Worse still, that’s not even counting Inko Midoriya. That right there is the destruction of the universe as we know it.

The rest under a cut becauseeeeeee who knows how long I’m going to go on about this? I sure don’t.

To be more specific to the nature of your ask because I’m a terrible terrible person who loves going on about things that you didn’t actually ask about, we’ll start with our Dad for All’s. Ageswap Izuku is a mad strategist, even though at this point in the shared timeline both he and canon Toshinori would be retired from the world of heroics, and against these guys? The plans he comes up with are absolutely ruthless. He’s got no time for things like mercy when his alternate self and his nephew and the young version of one of his best friends and even his own son have been taken. Any semblance of pity has been launched all the way to goddamn andromeda at this point, it’s not coming home any time soon.

The plan itself absolutely includes copious amounts of explosions, stealth, sneaking around, lots of research, possibly punching a man or two into the stratosphere, freezing things, burning things, shattering a few eardrums, finding the boys, making sure they’re okay, wrecking the place, and making several people regret being born and coming up with this idea in the first place, at a minimum. Not necessarily in that order (need to make sure everyone who cannot fight is out of danger first, after all)

For a moment, as canon Toshinori watches and helps plan, he wonders (in a good way) what kind of monster he’s creating with canon Izuku if this is what his pro-counterpart is like.

As for canon Toshinori? Well. He’s not so much a strategist or planner as Ageswap Izuku is, but this is his universe, his home turf. He’s got the advantage of connections with people, like canon Naomasa, the police department on a whole, and his hero agency. If there’s so much as a whisper as to where their boys are and why they’ve been taken, someone along the grapevine is gonna hear it and pass it along. Plus, of course, he helps Ageswap Izuku when he can!

Also, you know who we’re talking about here. Of course retirement and mortal wounds aren’t going to stop these dumb old men from going out into the field and bringing their boys home. (“Oh, punching this would be bad for my health? I’ll kick their asses instead”)

Ageswap Todoroki, of course, has a hand in planning everything. Besides, who else is gonna freeze and burn the shit Izuku asks him to, right? He’s more familiar with how Ageswap Izuku tends to plan and strategize in general, which helps. He’s good at keeping a level head, which provides a handy perspective for everyone.

Canon Aizawa is like Toshinori in that he’s got a homefield advantage, but also, he’s far more familiar with the underground/underworld workings of the villain-hero scene, so while Toshinori has got contacts, Aizawa has the means to contact people as well as going out into the field to gather intel himself. As well, he’s familiar with what they need to look out for as far as clues and research go, which is vital to Ageswap Izuku’s planning and also the finding of the boys in itself.

Overall, though, I think Ageswap Todoroki and canon Aizawa are the ones to help keep a lot of the calm among the adults directly involved, reminding them not to get overly frustrated and that they’re going to find the boys no matter what - not to say the kids aren’t doing their part not to freak out over things they can’t do shit about yet, and also not to imply that there isn’t anyone else involved as far as teachers and pro heroes go. And that’s also not to say they’re not absolutely fucking livid and furious about this situation and that they’re not among the first ones on scene to start wrecking shit, because of course they are.

No one touches their boys.

Canon Endeavor, though… mind you, of course he’s gonna be involved - someone dares to kidnap his boy, he’ll teach them to think twice. His experience and connections mean that they can’t really say he can’t be involved, so he too does his part. I don’t know if this would be before or after Lifetimes or some other in-verse variant of it though, and that’s admittedly important bc in AU context it would also be relevant to whether or not he’s trying to change or not, you know? Regardless, he’d probably not be very involved in the planning itself, outside of offering small bits of his thoughts and things - he can’t get a read on Ageswap Deku, but he’s aware that Deku is/was the number one of his world, and gets that he’s deserving of respect, to some degree, so he’s cordial to them all on a whole (though canon Toshinori tries not to be around when he’s around and vice versa).

Though, also, since I imagine this mess would be something they might want to keep out of the public eye, there’s also only so much canon Endeavor can do openly, too. He probably does a lot of red herring things and calls his work relating to finding the boys by some other name, and I guess in that stream he’d help by just, making sure no one finds out abt the kidnapping by keeping the press and media distracted by whatever he’s doing (and by doing it very, very far away from where and what the others are doing. It rubs him wrong, but he’s still doing his hero work so hell. Fine. He’s the only one that can do this anyway, so of course they’d come to him about it. Or, that’s what he tells his ego because he can’t argue with them about it).

As far as the rescue mission itself goes, everyone gets deployed. And by “everyone”, I mean both 1-A’s, possibly the Inko’s (because I’m sure we all remember this very serious and official ageswap post), their teacher-parents, several other teachers, the Naomasa’s (because of course ageswap Nao is in on it), and canon Endeavor.

And by “rescue mission”, I mean “UA and Nedzu decided that it would be good experience for their heroes in training to go on this unofficial mission for a kidnapping that has not been disclosed to the public At All to avoid any sort of big legal fuss and here are a few teachers/pros to supervise pls don’t kill anyone :)” because, you know, everyone knows better than to get between “everyone” and their mission to save the boys.

(When everyone comes home mostly safe and sound the world collectively breathes a sigh of relief, because it looks like the end has been saved for another day.

also because a mountain range or five haven’t been wiped off the map in some fit of fury and rage or anything like that.)

#Ageswap AU #BNHA #Boku no hero academia #MHA #My Hero Academia #Anonymous #Novelist answers #....i just realized the pun on my internet name and the length of all my answers #It's an answer of Novel length! ghj;lsf;jsljfk oh my gosh (i'm sorry)#anyway there's some probably irrelevant stuff here but your question is answered therefore I will count that as a win!#im so filled with love and affection thank u anon!! i'll clock in wordcount later but i think this is the novel-length answer u wanted #ive been thinking of kingsman too much lately all I can think of is a rescue involving uch bamf-ing and explosions and neat slowmo shots hah #im very glad!! You like the au and think it's awesome!!! I agree it's super awesome i'm so glad

5 notes · View notes

darby-drabbles · 6 years

Text

Yesterday on twitter I asked for questions from this post,,, specifically for Andre just because, I wanted to talk about him? Feel free to ask me Even More!!! For Andre or other ocs from his story or anyone, I don’t mind. I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve done oc talk so it was good to get back into it. A few questions asked by both @duck-n-clover and @agentchimendez Thank you so much!

4. Has your character ever witnessed experienced something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

(“witnessed” seemed different from “experience” and I just couldn’t think of a witness thing for some reason so I CHanged it to have an actual answer.. IT Is more serious tho now so.. LETs see.)

In general,, he always felt second best compared to his sister and that shaped SO MUCH of what he’s done. Whether it was trying so hard to succeed, overworking and feeling horrible when he failed,, or when he started his intense Rebellious Phase in protest. Sibling favoritism shaped him to crave attention no matter how he got it. And YEAh, people know. He definitely talks about/complains/has breakdowns about not feeling good enough or his family often enough so all his friends know that that’s why he’s Like This sometimes. It only really comes up with his family in the form of snappy angery comments so they get kind of brushed off as Andre being moody AGaiN.

“Adopting” the droid changes him, for the better! (eventually..) He’s reluctant to care for her at first,, he’s a bit, impatient and short-tempered with her? and kinda in general, actually. And since he doess end up messing her up/can’t fix the glitches she had, he feels guilty and like a bit of a failure again. But he also eventually gets more patient, starts to open up more, and meets/becomes closer to people because of her! He’s happier.. Delilah is a very good droid daughter whom he loves and owes a lot to. He might not specifically talk about it too often,, but,,, I think people can tell he’s doing better now because of her.

To get even more serious now, sorry, TW for sexual abuse. I’ve talked about it before so I’m not gonna get too into it, (just the next paragraph, the rest are his reactions to it) you could read more of the details here. (the last question) Skip or read as much as you feel comfortable with, I don’t talk abt anything else until the next question.

He met an older man through his sister and saw him at the bar once. The guy started talking to Andre because he was familiar~ (he also knew Andre snuck in and wasn’t 21 yet and probably had drugs on him 🙃 He holds that against him later.) They go back to this guys place, blow each other. It was an okay little fling at first,, Andre wouldn’t have found the guy memorable. They lay in bed a while until Andre says he wants to go home,,, guy says he still wants to fuck or at least get another bj. Andre refuses but he pins him down and basically did a whole guilt trippy “who are people gonna believe?? you’re a druggy delinquent sneaking into bars to get blowjobs” speech. This guy definitely has a Good Guy image with a lot of people INCluding Andre’s sister Zahra, so Andre figured he was right. They’d believe this guy first, and wouldn’t be on Andre’s side because he’s Always Like This. Acting out and sleeping around and not being in the best situations. “This is all you’re good for.” 🙃 And Andre ‘low self-esteem’ *last name* UH. Totally believes that and feels pretty worthless, unfortunately, and blows him so he can just go home. He was pretty rough with him, which Andre normally likes, so he felt pretty, weird, about that for a while. Andd so he gets it over with and just, tries to go home. The man still teases him a bit trying to get him to stay but he’s very much over this guy and is ready to sleep and shower already.

~~ It makes him angry and defensive for a while and his drug use spikes, he feels used and worthless and gets Even More Self Destructive and a bit destructive in general. He says it wasn’t a big deal, it didn’t affect him he’s fine,, because he wants to avoid it, but it clearly obviously affects him for a while. He’s mad that it happened to him. He does eventually get help for that which in turn helps with stopping the drug use for coping and, that’s goood. He still sometimes insists it wasn’t a big deal it could’ve been worse, but he’ll get upset over it too.

He wouldn’t tell a lot of people, Evelyn and Kriss would know. Avery and Nicki might.. But Evelyn was the only one who knew him at the time, she was one of his few friends, and they’re really close. He goes to her really upset about it soon after it happened. He doesn’t explicitly tell her what happened but it’s sort of implied and she understands. He does tell her later, after the whole thing has calmed down and the memory and trauma isn’t as fresh,, she was a good friend through it and he wanted her to know what was wrong.

He’d tell his more serious partners which would really only be Kriss? (plus maybe some mix n match in that ship/au Perhaps) It happened before dating Nicki, but I don’t think* he would’ve told her just because he still hadn’t really dealt with those emotions himself yet? And their relationship was pretty quick and intense already. Like they’re friends again now but I don’t think they get tooo deep into emotional stuff often anymore. I think he’d want to explain and apologize for some of his actions including the drug use, so he’d find a way to tip toe around the topic a bit?? But probably wouldn’t tell her details. Avery is another of his closer friends and I feel like they vent to each other sometimes, it’s possible that he told them something about it.

*I mentioned in the other post that Nicki might know,, but I’m leaning more to her not knowing now, so, updated info I Guess.

His sister knows he slept with the man but Andre wanted to drop that conversation REal Quick.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Whats! In! His! Bag!

There’s the obvious, phone wallet and keys,, spare change. Maybe a pack of gum or a peppermint or someth. A band aid, jic. He’ll bring earbuds if he knows he’ll be alooone and get to listen to music. (I couldn’t find it by itself but the very first vine in this video Is Andre walking down the street. .. Bouncin’ around..) Occasionally, a pocket knife,, maybe a lighter. He doesn’t smoke often anymore but still nice to have. Uhh that’s all I can think of. Pretty Simple. (in baby au he has a bag so he can carry So Much Junk and snacks and toys and just. Anything.)

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

He kinda rarely has memorable dreams, and I don’t think there’s a ton of recurring themes in them? Maybeb a few Anxiety dream thoughts but they’re probably different from each other,, or at least not repeated often enough to notice. ‘OH my teeth fell out This TIme,, last time I just showed up to class naked. That’s fine I guess.’

I think he gets that *feels like you’re falling so you jerk awake really suddenly* feeling kinda often though.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

I haven’t thought about this?? But no I donn’t thiink so, he’s not a gun guy. If anything he only would’ve been practicing shooting at targets or cans, something like that.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

More often than not,, less clothing. 👀 To an extent. But, probably when he was younger it would be more clothing bc he was hiding things and felt guarded and comfortable in layers of clothe. How could someone suspect ur on drugs and bruisey from fights and not eating enough if they can’t see your body at all, hmm??? Check, Mate

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

HMm this is a tough one. I mean I wanna say happiness but he doesn’t actually seek that out for himself for A While, and for a long time he kind of struggles with the need to prove himself and show that he’s good enough and not a failure. Sometimes he’s trying to succeed in something that would make his family happy and other times it’s trying to prove it to himself. So when he’s younger I’ll say success, but currently, happiness.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

One of his grandmother’s died when he was prettyy young and so death was explained in a very,, kid friendly way and + his lil imagination, I think that stuck with him?? They weren’t a particularly spiritual family, they probably said something like, she won’t come back but she’ll always be with you,,, like,,, in your thoughts and in ur heart but he was an imaginative easily spooked kid and kinda took that to mean Ghost. OBVIously…. But that’s not what they meant… That kinda freaked him out as a kid, he didn’t want A Ghost followin him???? Not even a nice gramma-ghost, no way. That’s a haunting! SPooky???? His parents eventually had to explain that no she’s not a ghost she’s just,,, not here any more. But I think he was already pretty set on these thoughts and the thought of not existing anymore At All seemed even scarier tbh? But he did get more comfortable with,, if there was a gramma-ghost,, then she would be nice like gramma.

But he still kinda, believes in ghosts and spirits in some way more than anything,, like your spirit or energy might stick around somewhere familiar or someone you love perhaps. He’s never really had a ghostly experience to back up these thoughts, though, and he sometimes doubts if that’s really what will happen. Maybe reincarnation, maybe u just blink out of existence, he doesn’t know. His afterlife beliefs don’t scare him per say, but I don’t think he’s really comforted by it, either. Death in general scares him a little, so he Tries Not To Think About It.

#q'd bc I got a headache and didn't end up coming back to finish this until Really Late #also i know i'll be having a busy day today so i didn't really wanna hope for gettin this up in the morning jic i couldn't #but yeah thanks again for asking!#androids #original characters #OC facts #OC Headcanons #ask meme #i'll probably actually reblog this sometime soon actually..#but i'm busy today.. booo #long post #sorry i didn't put it under a read more i forgot and now im on mobile

4 notes · View notes

cnisms · 7 years

Text

bye ... i’m truly done taking up muses ... these are short n poorly written but i did them ! i’ll eventually add more information on everyone when i finally get around to finishing muse pages but honestly ? this is all u need to know for now. again, if u wanna plot, just hmu :P a few mentions of drugs n alcoholism but nothing descriptive. here’s percy, zach, ajay, luke, bunny, paris & luma ! (i’ve added gwen, helena n gia too just so they’re all in one place bc i’m lazy)

FINN COLE, CIS MALE, HE/HIM — have you met perseus sage nichols yet ? the twenty-two year old is known for being both astute and jocular, but also very obstreperous and arrogant. born in melbourne, percy now lives in kensington, working as a junior management consultant. comes from a nice family that he will always be pissed off at for very little reason. has beef w his dad for not providing even tho he really did, it was just never enough for percy. is exactly the type of dude that got mad when leo didn’t win the oscar for wolf. just wanted to be dumb rich n coked out. v smart and got an international scholarship at a good university, by the time he got kicked out for being a rowdy asshole, he’d helped his friends develop some legit apps (the most successful one being a dating app which two yrs later is really just a meme) and they suddenly had a lot of money, he just bought his way back in. bc he was in charge of the business side of things, it was easy enough for him to screw over his friends n walk away w most of what was left when their success went down the drain. got a job as a management consultant at a big, scary firm in london mostly thanks 2 his reputation. is a known ugly n ruthless n desperate to be at the top n live in disgusting luxury. can’t talk to his family or old pals without Wanting To Die bc he’s so committed to this new life he’s created for himself. is literally awful if he doesn’t like u, still awful just in a less hurtful n more annoying way if he does. doesn’t know when to stop. always forgetting n probably trying to hide the fact that he’s not a trust fund baby like all the people he hangs with now. literally just clyde oberholt ?

JAMIE BLACKLEY, CIS MALE, HE/HIM — have you met zachary vaughn baltazar yet ? the twenty-five year old is known for being both unostentatious and sincere, but also very self-deprecating and uncouth. born in berlin, zach now lives in southwark, working as a telemarketer. the nice guy who is always getting rekt (he wrecking himself lbr) is Um .. a v talented writer but is happy just shitting on his work n never exploring his potential bc why bother when he has the ideal amount of friends n weed atm right ? given up and is convinced he is satisfied, will accept any invitation. still won’t let you live tho. has opinions on ur choices and will probably share them behind ur back. somehow feels underappreciated by everyone even tho he truly believes there is nothing to appreciate. omg have a cry and grow up. king of impressive first dates n writes rlly romantic poetry but is either ghosting or getting ghosted the following week bc he is dry and confused. doesn’t know if this is really what he wants/doesn’t feel like he deserves what he wants. close with his family but tries to force more n more distance bc he can’t stand their #drama... or any drama that doesn’t give him an edge Actual Of Ly. the ders of the squad probably.

RAHUL KOHLI, CIS MALE, HE/HIM — have you met ajay charles johal yet ? the thirty year old is known for being both urbane and jovial, but also very restless and quixotic. born in chennai, ajay now lives in newham, as an airline pilot. moved to london w his parents when he was v young, spent all of his teenage yrs feeling guilty for no reason just like watching all his parents did for him to be happy n healthy ? never got over the guilt. is just a v feeling person ig ! anyways he was so committed to helping his parents out, which was rlly truly the only thing he’s ever committed to in his life. needed enough money to support all three of them but rlly had no idea how to go about it. pilot was just one of the ideas handed to him back in high school n he went with it bc he knew he’s never actually settle on anything. turned out ok bc he likes being able 2 actually get the entire hell away from his problems. a v flighty person (aha... classic) and doesn’t have many close relationships bc of it. v respected ... v respectful ... quality lad but can be a lil immature under it all. wish he’d stop feeling bad just bc he has GOOD parents.

TOBY REGBO, CIS MALE, HE/HIM — have you met luciano andrius falley yet ? the twenty-five year old is known for being both genial and cultivated, but also very irksome and delphic. born in naples, luke now lives in camden, as a struggling actor and annoying historian. tragic backstory ? never heard of that. comes from a supportive ($$$ n <333) family who probably only pay for the many flights for all his long ass self discovery backpacking trips bc deep down they can’t put up with him anymore. is a super friendly n outgoing person, the type that is literally always reading a book he only half understands but will bring up what he has learned from it at one of his MANY dinner parties where ur only option is CHICKEN and lots of wine while he refuses to SHUT THE FRICK UP. cute ! kinda very judgemental but will just sigh n let u fuck up. “not to get political but...” is always like Hm Yes ! I Love Hearing Other People’s Stories ! but when ? when does he hear anything other than his own voice ? he probably gives himself lectures on intersectional feminism when he’s home alone he just doesn’t stop. honestly he only ever means well n ig he’s interesting enough but Really... fake struggling yet still pretentious aesthetics.

MARGOT ROBBIE, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER — have you met elizabeth celine leblanc ? the twenty-seven year old is known for being both coruscating and ardent, but also very egocentric and bourgeois. born in seattle, bunny now lives in southwark, as an influential homemaker. boozy housewife. spent her childhood living below the poverty line before her father began helping ppl smuggle drugs into america. he built his own big operation off of that (with a hygiene product company as a cover) and was successful enough to squash the few people it pissed off. business spread to europe n then when he was ready to retire and the south gang was interested, he had elizabeth marry into it before he sold the operation just to make sure he would always be taken care of. it got handed down to her husband bc she wasn’t interested in any legit roles (her asshole fathers fault honestly ? he wouldn’t have given her control even if she wanted it) and she just went along with whatever would keep her from returning to her Humble Beginnings. is very “i do whatever i have to in order to survive” n by survive she means never actually work n just waltz around a mansion in designer gowns all day. materialistic n v selfish. fake charitable for her socialite image. doesn’t cook, but is always sharing recipes. has no real interest in the soap she pretends to make. is consistently fake. literally gets zero joy from anything that isn’t spending money. could probably be happy if she could escape her family’s ugly beliefs n misogynistic practices n she’s getting there but just . slowly. hates the nickname bunny, but i’m forcing the meme.

MIMI ELASHIRY, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER — have you met paris nefret bayoumi yet ? the twenty year old is known for being both beneficent and equable, but also very disengaging and inelegant. born in alexandria, paris now lives in greenwich, practicing herbalism. also works at the rosado but whom cares ? not her ! all she cares abt are the HERBS. was raised by her grandmother who was a Kitchen Witch (as in .. u know ... this isnt a supernatural rp But that woman was a witch !) so she’s always practiced similar hobbies but now she’s all about making her friends custom teas ! n yea paris likes to claim that she’s also a witch. is extra but in a calm n collected way. serene at all times but unintentionally sardonic. not super bright but has plenty of advice for every problem. seems to enjoy oversharing and yet no one knows exactly whats the deal w her parents (criminals that have always been n remain in hiding, some people think they’re straight up pirates now) or anything serious in her life rlly . but u wanna know what russells burp smelt like last week ? she’s about to tell u.

SOFIA BLACK-D'ELIA, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER — have you met luma camille pontecorvo yet ? the twenty-three year old is known for being both optimistic and dexterous, but also very prevaricating and overindulged. born in quebec city, luma now lives in waltham forest, working in retail. ah , another brat . she was left w her much older half brother n his wife when he mom dipped when she was fourteen n honestly they felt so bad n also had no idea how to handle her so they just . gave her everything she wanted without question. she had her mothers bad attitude n reckless habits tho n when she started getting her nieces n nephews in trouble once they were all in college together, her brother Politely kicked her out of their lives by offering to set her up anywhere she wanted “for the Experience”. she picked london n quickly got a job at a kingsley store n has been working there for a few yrs now. now also deals party drugs at clubs for the north family n she rlly lets that be the focus of her life, so she’s always showing up to her day job late n overtired. doesn’t ever really lie but rarely tells the whole truth. ig she would be fun to hang out with but she’s probably a fair bit cunty. doesn’t care about ur feelings, has very few of her own, just here for a meme. truthfully she’s angry abt everyone ditching her but it gets ugly whenever the topic comes up n dark!luma is an actual thing that makes an appearance.

MADCHEN AMICK, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER — have you met gwendolyn griet hathaway yet ? the forty-three year old is known for being both reverent and winsome, but also very acquisitive and ambivalent. born in las vegas, gwen now lives in richmond upon thames, managing a record label. also known as gwen nash. mother to gertrude bc we meme too hard. born in nevada, her own momther bailed early n then her father disappeared when she was fourteen (she’s always been sure he was murdered by a biker gang but no one believed her n kept saying he just ran off on her but ! the story comes up whenever she drinks still) n she ended up just getting a cleaning job in a motel n taking care of herself. eventually she met a nice older couple who sort of took her in. they were responsible for a lot of jazz artists n she stanned them hard ? sang for them for a short while n eventually married their son mostly bc she wanted to actually be part of the family yikes… anyway they had a Beautiful Daughter together obviously n eventually got control of the label n thats all they rlly share now post separation. tragic n twenty years later than everyone expected . anyway she’s lurkin about london, lookin for talent n trying to fix her relationship with gertrude (i’d hate my mom if she named me that too … no a fence) n just drinkin wine ig ! she’s very … impulsive and only ever thinks about herself in the moment but otherwise ? she can be kind n caring but Ya . her habit of just jumping into things for her own pleasure generally hurts other people so she’s a lot of strained relationships. still seems v standoffish mostly bc she’s Um . Scared Of Everything. literally does not matter how much shit she sees ? permanently spooked. lowkey cruel sense of humor but she just seems so gentle 95% of the time that when she makes a sick joke ur like Oh she doesn’t realize how bad that sounds ! hates memes.

LILY JAMES, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER — have you met helena therese o’shea yet ? the twenty-six year old is known for being both cultivated and strong-willed, but also very callous and tenacious. born in chicago, helena now lives in wandsworth, working at erstead’s and planning birthday parties. a tragedy. always had it in her head that she was better than everyone else (especially her brother ) but never fully committed to the brat act, like she never threw tantrums or asked for too much, v well mannered n proper but it’s always been obvious that she’s permanently disgusted by everyone except for herself. sometimes also disgusted by herself tho. will say something cringeworthy n just about put a hit on herself for it. was a v successful wedding planner for a while, her business took off rlly quick thanks to a few helpful connections. got engaged herself 3 years ago and cut off most of her family n all her old friends to start this new amazing life she always thought she deserved ? sike. after three years of putting off the wedding, she got dumped n came home to work @ erstead’s bc she’s like well if i’m gonna crash this hard i might as well hit rock bottom ! plans birthday parties for children occasionally. hates children. hates everything. fun ? never experienced that emotion. barely tries to make up with the people she wronged bc despite setting herself back 6 yrs, she still thinks she’s above everyone else. loves to complain. doesn’t really have much going for her honestly other than ? total commitment to whatever it is that’s happening in her life. obviously that’s not workin out for her rn ?

CHARLI XCX, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER — have you met georgiana lalaine visariya yet ? the twenty-three year old is known for being both jocund and unfeigned, but also very vexatious and lowbrow. born in kiev, gia now lives in soho, being extra on youtube. gia is honestly .. a headache. she was always a v creative person, ‘expressing herself’ n doin’ the most when literally no one asked ever. she started vlogging two years ago n got bored quickly so instead she decided to start her own (fake) reality series on youtube ? she handled everything by herself at first n reached out to hot local people who were popular on instagram n youtube to star in it WITH HER and only got a few people in on it but ? it took off. now she has a whole crew n writers n what not working on it with her (even tho most of the time she will take over every part of the production n handle it herself again) n it gets her good money (especially bc she’s shameless n stays making sure she’s a main in every single episode so she gets those instagram sponsors too) calls herself “““punk lauren conrad””” n is clearly too extra. a very very confident n loud person, super friendly, loves everyone n honestly u can try to drag her but that’s not gonna stop her running up to u in the street next time she sees u n telling you to drop whatever it is ur doing to go get cocktails with her. she’s so … genuine irl that you literally would not belieb how much of the show is scripted n thought up by her w that … interesting … imagination. will annoy u for content.

#smoke:intro #im not proofreading so Expect me repeating myself #its too cold for anything so #see u in the morning for attempted replies !#ᴏᴏᴄ ▓ ⚘ — ❛ intro post ！

4 notes · View notes

broukuto · 7 years

Text

i wanna talk about trans girl oikawa

(putting under read more because this is a Lot. i’m using she/her pronouns for oikawa. and also warnings for like generalized angst, mentions and light descriptions of anxiety, depression, dysphoria. this is loosely inspired by my own trans experience)

so oikawa probably didn’t have the Word For It growing up and in adolescence but definitely knew that she was meant to be something different. she couldn’t quite figure out what or why.

volleyball proved to be a great distraction because all that mattered was that she was good, if not great. a great volleyball player, full stop. however she pushes herself too hard to be perfect at this, that she ends up hurting her knee during her second year.

in high school, despite being the most adored and chased after by girls of her peers, oikawa began developing more feminine traits; manners of speech, quirks, even things seen as “girly” like hair and skincare. which to oikawa, was extremely important - still, 17 and not quite found the Word for what she was feeling, knew that it was important for her to be able to control at least this aspect of their physical appearance.

it’s not that she ever really hated her body - it served a function, to play volleyball well. but she didn’t love it. it was very easy for her to dissociate and compartmentalize that aspect of herself as to sort of make up for the generalized unease and underlying dysphoria she was always feeling.

things didn’t really click until she got her first girlfriend, who was expecting a boyfriend from oikawa. it wasn’t that she wasnt attracted to her, but she always found herself being more jealous of her, than anything. she was the first girl oikawa really knew and could get to be around up close and often - and that’s when it all clicked. oikawa wanted to be her, or at least, just like her.

oikawa realized the feelings she always had, was because she wanted be a girl, deep down. and things felt right, as if a thousand questions had been answered. but still, it didn’t quite make the “apartness” oikawa felt from hajime and the team that she’d always felt. though they were always friends and oikawa did her best to be a great captain, she didn’t always feel like one of them.

she didn’t know how to relate to the “guy things” they’d talk about, though oikawa was still physically male. and now knowing that she was transgender, only furthered the divide.

hajime had been her best friend since infancy. they shared everything together since before they could remember. so it was an easy decision to want to tell him. one afternoon, hajime comes over and finds oikawa wearing lipstick. he laughs and tells her she looks dumb (of course he thinks this is just his Guy Friend messing around and doesn’t Know, please don’t hate him). Oikawa, testing the waters, teases and asks if hajime doesn’t think they would make a pretty girl. Hajime scrunches his face and says “Ew of couse not.” Something in Oikawa breaks, she goes to the bathroom to scrub off the lipstick, and they never talk about it again. Hajime doesn’t know, or else he wouldn’t have made fun - that’s what she tells herself, but it doesn’t make it easier to want to now.

the years pass. they graduate high school, they go to different colleges. oikawa passes the time with classes and volleyball. the easiest and time-tested distraction from The Gender Problem. however in her senior year, she decides to retire early. the knee problem from high school is flaring up again and if she’d like to live a life without irreparable damage, she’s advised to stop.

it hurts because volleyball has given her years of joy since middle school. and now only does she have to figure out who she is outside of this Amazing player, now she can’t ignore The Gender Problem. it’s one thing to flirt and be ~feminine and pay the part of everyone’s gay best friend - but that’s not who she is. she doesn’t want to be the flamboyant gay friend.

depression and anxiety began to settle in as a result of the gender dysphoria. and guilt. how could she do this to her parents? her family? her friends? they all had expectations for oikawa that did not include this. could it be easier to just accept being Male for the family? was one person’s happiness more important than her own? there was always a clear cut and defined vision of who oikawa was, as presented to the outside world, that greately overshadowed who oikawa wanted to be. how could she just flip the script like that and make people learn a whole new person? was it worth it?

these are questions that oikawa obsessed over

oikawa and hajime grew apart during their last year of college. hajime still played volleyball and oikawa effectively fell off the social map. they emailed sometimes and texted occasionally, but it wasn’t close to how it was. hajime begins to get worried about his best friend. the person that used to text him 17 times in a row within two hours barely responds to his texts after 2 days.

it’s a little after their university graduation that hajime is able to go visit oikawa because he can sense that something isn’t right. when they talk on the phone, oikawa sounds resigned, tired, and really just sad. though she insists that nothing is wrong. and when hajime presses, she gets mad - rather than deflective as usual - and ends the conversation. hajime has known oikawa for too long not to know that something serious is going on.

when they see each other again, it’s been almost a year since they’ve last been in person together. oikawa is thinner, bags under the eyes from insomnia, hair longer. hajime simply asks what’s wrong, and it’s enough for oikawa to break and have a full blown anxiety attack that scares hajime to death. when he’s calmed her down enough, oikawa sleeps for almost a full day. hajime stays the whole time.

they’re laying in bed, like when they used to have sleepovers in middle school. when oikawa wakes up, hajime is there. he doesn’t ask again what’s wrong. oikawa says, “iwa-chan, i’m a girl...i’m not....i don’t feel...i’m supposed to be a girl.”

hajime is in shock, but tries not to let it show. he simply rests a hand on oikawa’s neck, a sign of comfort. “Shitty-kawa, why didn’t you tell me?”

oikawa tells him about the day with the lipstick. hajime barely remembers, but oikawa can remember every detail - down to how many clouds were in the sky, what food her mother left on the stove, and how many seconds it took to scrub the lipstick off. 87.

she tells him that she knew he didn’t really mean anything bad by it, and that if he knew, he wouldn’t, or at least hoped, that he wouldn’t have made a joke like that. but oikawa had spent the years being around boys. she’d heard all the jokes, all the “locker room talk”. and it scared her to death. she couldn’t live with the idea of her favorite person thinking of her as a joke, or worse something bad or depraved, and not wanting to be friends anymore. so she kept it a secret, for him, for their team, for their families.

what oikawa doesnt expect from hajime then, is to cry. at first she thinks he’s crying out of anger or disappointment, as she’d always feared. but then hajime pulls her into his chest and apologizes. “i’m so sorry you had to deal with this on your own for so long. i’m so sorry you thought i’d hate you.”

hajime then says he thought oikawa was just really really gay and was fine with that too, but admits that this does make more sense. he remembers all the times oikawa would scoff at hajime, or the other team members doing something Manly and Stupid like “ugh, Men.”

after that it becomes easier. hajime and oikawa become roommates in a new city. over the first few months, oikawa begins using a new name, dressing as a girl more and more - starting with around the house, little trips to the store, and gradually more and more until she’s permanently comfortable being a girl in public for the world to see. her hair has grown long, and hajime absolutely eats his words when he stupidly said that she would make an ugly girl. oikawa smugly declares that no one can be as perfect as she - a gorgeous specimen in all genders.

oikawa doesn’t begin hormone therapy until after she comes out to her family. she doesn’t want to feel like she’s keeping secrets any longer. it’s hard for her family, at first, as expected. not exactly opposed or against, just shocked is all. her father says that he just began to accept her as an effiminate gay man, but her impressive sports career made up for it. He and oikawa’s mother are from a different generation and these things are still new and they don’t quite understand, but oikawa is still their child.

shock is what oikawa expected. disownment is what he assumed - though his family says they could never. the fact of it is, oikawa still lives in a culture where being transgender is still a work in progress. but his family, parents, his sister, and nephew, all agree to try and get to know the new oikawa, and its the best she can hope for for now.

at 25, it’s hard to know when oikawa and hajime begin dating, but it seems they always had been. not just recently, but since they were kids. they’ve always loved each other, only now it means something more. one thing oikawa was always afraid of, when even thinking about pursuing her feelings with hajime, was that hajime would still view her body as male. but they work at that too, trust, relearning, time, all of it. it all works out in the end.

(also i was thinking high key abt oikawa becoming a model but wasn’t sure how to fit this in the au, alas

the end

#oikawa tooru #haikyuu!!#i feel like i dont Like a lot of trans headcanons and fic written by cis people #so i wanted to detail a Relateable Experience #because sometimes being trans is a journey that takes YEARS #and isnt so easy as to have all the resources to begin transition immediately at 15 and everything is great #theres a lot left out like dysphoria and depression and guilt that a lot of trans people who arent out face #especially when they dont realize WHY they've always felt this way until they're like an Adult u know #anyways

36 notes · View notes