#cw dick and balls humor

[facts-i-just-made-up]

How big is a atom?

It's hard for human minds to comprehend very large and very small things. It is very hard to consider even how large the Earth is, let alone a larger planet or the Solar System. A Galaxy containing hundreds of billions of such systems is completely out of our ability to think about realistically.

Similarly, very small things such as atoms are beyond our ability to imagine, with things like single cells and even very small animals being unthinkable. As such, we have attributed anatomical and familial metaphors to objects of extreme size, and this is why people inevitably compare galaxies to 'Yo Mama' and atoms are said by many to be as small as 'Yo Dick.'

For more insight, it's best not to try to get a firm grasp on those concepts until one has a firm grasp on "Deez."

#yo mama #yo dick #deez nuts #science #unreality #cw dick and balls humor #im real classy today

[eddiemunsonw]

Like a dog

Gator Tillman x fem!reader

Summary: Happens after Gator gets his ass kicked in episode 2. He clearly needs some help, but he's independent, right? He can take care of this himself, for sure.

CW/Disclaimer: A bit of angst? Gator is having some inner struggles and you're doing your best to accommodate him. And yeah, a bit of misogyny in there too, nothing too strong though I would say. Also some fluff and humor, I barely can do without.

Author's note: The title is misleading, but it'll make sense once you start reading it.

Words: 2319

Gator

His ears were ringing, but apart from that no sound seemed to be coming in. He vaguely noticed his cheek was warm, realized it was blood and tried to not freak out. It wasn’t that he was scared of blood, not at all. Sometimes he even got a little kick out of watching things, people bleed. Just not himself.

Then… there was his arm. That was a problem for sure. He had felt the snap, heard it, even, before that asshole used his gun right next to his ear. Last but not least, his groin. His balls and dick felt like they had grown thrice in size in the bad way. He didn’t think there was any enlargement of balls in the good way anyway. But… Yeah. It really fucking hurt.

Getting to the ER was a challenge too. His father was occupied and he didn’t want to ask for his help for something so insignificant. He was independent. He could just walk. Once he stood upright, he felt like dropping to his knees again, his vision swimming. Everything hurt so much it was nearly blinding. He would’ve thrown up if… wait, had he thrown up? He tasted blood but he had also bitten his tongue, so… Whatever. One step at a time. And fingers crossed that shitbird wouldn’t find him.

You

The crash, followed by a yelp and a cry of pain startled you as you were restocking supplies. You rushed to the front and found a guy, a familiar guy, on the floor, holding his arm as he groaned in pain. Quickly, you kneeled down on the floor next to him, gently touching his shoulder.

“He—”

“Don’t touch me!”

His whole body tensed up and he twisted away from your touch. In the moment, it didn’t register to you as funny even though a bystander could probably see the humor of it as he wiggled away from you, groaning and moaning in pain as he did.

“I assume you’re here for a reason. How about we get you upright and in the chair, so I can check you out?”

Gator finally lifted his head to look at you and squinted. You noticed he was sweating, which wasn’t good. His eyes narrowed even more and a scowl pulled the corners of his mouth down.

“Are you even qualified?”

“Do you want help or not?” you deadpanned.

He managed to lift himself up to lean against the door and tried to cross his arms but remembered one wasn’t really cooperating and winced.

“Are you qualified?”

“To take care of dogs? Yeah, I am.”

Gator’s eyes flamed and you could tell he wanted to lurch forward, probably grasp your throat to shut you up. It didn’t help that you were smiling at him. Lucky for you, he was in too much pain to act on his deepest desires. Instead, he nearly spat the words out he said next.

“What are you calling me?”

You laughed dryly. Gator Tillman. He hadn’t changed a bit since school.

“Funny you immediately assume I’m talking about you. You’re at a vet. This isn’t the ER, Gator.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, taken aback. Only now he actually properly looked around. He seemed to have a hard time focusing his vision still. “What kind of bad business are you running here? There’s no one! Also that’s Sheriff Tillman for you.”

You looked at him, rolled your eyes and walked to the back to make yourself some coffee. He could wait. If he wanted to act like an entitled brat he should have gone to the actual ER. You knew barking dogs rarely bite. After a few minutes, he called out.

“Hey! Are you gonna help me or not?”

“Depends,” you shouted from the back, “are you gonna stop acting like a dick or not, Deputy?”

A silence. One that dragged on long enough for you to walk back to the front with your coffee in hand. Maybe you hadn’t heard the door open and close? Wrong. His eyes met yours immediately when you looked down, lips pressed tightly together, whether out of pain or annoyance with you, you weren’t sure. You gave him a pointed glance and a quip of your brow, waiting.

“Yes.”

With some help, you got him to sit on the examination table, which immediately required a remark from him, of course.

“Can this thing even handle my weight?”

You eyed him up and down slowly, a slow smirk forming. His frown deepened as you let the silence settle between you and he shifted uncomfortably on the table.

“Yeah. You look like you weigh about the size of a chubby golden retriever.”

“I workout every day!” he spluttered, as if that was the point.

“Okay? Point is, it can take you. No need to worry your little head over it. Anyway… let’s see.”

You could feel Gator’s eyes following you as you gathered some supplies, knowing you wouldn’t be able to help him with everything. The best you could probably do was give him a ride to those that could. You turned around and lifted your hand to his face, gently wiping away the blood that had leaked from his ear. His hand grabbed your wrist tightly when you came closer to his ear and he hissed out in pain. His grip was painful, but you could tell by his ragged breaths that he wasn’t doing it out of malice. He was scared.

“Hey…” you started softly, leaning back to look at him. You stood between his legs and while you were smaller than him, were able to see eye to eye due to the height of the table. “You do need to go to the ER. Get you checked out. I can make you a temporary splint for your arm but I don’t wanna mess with it too much as it’s not my expertise to work on humans. I can give you a ride? Is there anything else that hurts?”

He mumbled something incomprehensible and avoided your eyes.

“Sorry?”

“My junk. I think I need to like, cool it or something,” he said reluctantly. You nodded and walked away from him to grab a gel pack from the freezer, but the hand around your wrist stopped you. As you turned around he was quick to avoid your gaze once again and dropped your wrist.

“You might want to take your pants off.”

“Hah?”

“For the gel pack,” you mumbled as you placed a gel pack wrapped in a towel next to him. He frowned but started fumbling with the button of his cargos anyway. You already wrote a note to stick on your door that you’d be out for a bit and added the emergency number of the nearest vet just in case.

“Fuck!”

His voice startled you and as you turned around you noticed he was still struggling with his button. His vest was slightly in the way as well as his belt, which didn’t help.

“Need help?”

“No.”

He continued to try, frustration rising. The soft whimpers and groans made you pity him a little. After a while he looked closer to crying and you couldn’t just stand by and watch. You made your way back, standing between his legs again and gently swatted his hand away. To your surprise, he didn’t object. Instead, he softly gasped, stammering softly as your hand accidentally grazed him. You were unsure whether it was out of pain or… something else. A quick glance at his face confirmed that he was focusing on your hand, lips parted slightly. His usual slicked back hair was messier than usual and only now you noticed the dried up tear streaks on his face. You pulled down his zipper and stepped back so he could get off the table. He slowly lifted his gaze, cheeks slightly flushed and if you weren’t mistaken, his lower lip trembled a little.

“Can you stand?”

Quietly, Gator pushed himself off the table and stood in front of you, taller again. Except, he looked rather small, looking down at his feet like that. He sighed shakily, making no move.

“Do you need help, or…”

He shook his head and pushed his pants down just enough to reveal his boxers before getting himself back on the table and covering himself with the gel pack. A sigh of relief was heard but other than that, he made no comments, no snarky remarks. Very uncharacteristic really. Or maybe it was just him without the forceful mask on his face.

“I’ll grab something for your arm, I’ll—”

You turned away from him again but before you could step away you felt his hand enclose around your wrist again. The gel pack fell to the ground with a soft thud.

“Don’t.”

“I…” you hesitated on what to say.

“Please.”

His voice sounded fragile now, shaky. You nodded and slowly bent down to grab the gel pack and handed it back to him as he let go of your wrist again. While you weren’t sure what he wanted, you made sure to stay. There seemed to be a lot going on in that head of his. Suddenly quite aware of your close proximity, you didn’t know where to look. Even though his crotch was covered with the gel pack, it was still weird to stand between his legs as his cargos dropped below his knees and slowly sagged down. Your gaze was focused to the side, which is why you didn’t immediately notice how he slowly bent forward until his forehead rested on your shoulder. It sounded like he was holding his breath, anticipating your reaction nervously. 

Without thinking, you put an arm around him, your hand soothingly rubbing circles between his shoulder blades. A shuddering breath left him as he relaxed against you. A few minutes in, at least it felt like some, you felt him tense up again. Not much later you felt something wet dripping down your collarbone. He was crying.

“If it’s hurting that badly, maybe we should…”

“No,” he croaked out, arm reaching out to clutch at your hip.

“Okay. Take as much time as you need. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I’m weak,” he managed to grunt. You weren’t surprised that a guy whose father was Roy Tillman had some deep self-loathing to deal with. In school it had always been obvious he felt pressured about living up to his father’s expectations. To be deserving of the Tillman name. He was as cocky as he was insecure. Still, no amount of pain justified being a grade-A dick to others. And yet… here you were, comforting the classic example of a grade-A dick.

“I don’t think you’re weak at all. Weak people don’t call themselves weak,” you told him softly, continuously rubbing his back. His breath shuddered when you gently readjusted the gel pack for him as it was slipping again.

“As if you know anything about weakness or strength,” he bit out, “you’re a female.”

“Right,” you mumbled, unimpressed. “Guess you’re weak then.”

A silence followed, apart from his soft sniffs, a reminder of his earlier crying. You felt him lift his forehead from your shoulder, breath tracing your jawline before his lips followed in its path. Your breath hitched, heartbeat quickening. Suddenly, his lips crashed on yours, demanding intimacy, taking it with some desperation. His lips felt chapped and for a second you were tempted to meet the roughness of his kiss but something in you held back.

In one quick move you pulled back and slapped him in the face. On the sensitive side, no less. He winced and looked betrayed, hand flying up to grab your wrist once more, tightening his grip until it hurt. You watched him closely, careful but not scared.

“Better not try that again without asking,” you warned.

“Or what?” Gator mumbled, his mouth curled down. Clearly not used to not getting his way. Well, too bad for him it had been you he wanted to kiss.

“Or I’ll squeeze your bad arm as hard as you’re squeezing my wrist right now.”

As if forgotten, Gator looked at his own hand and let go immediately, huffing a response you couldn’t make out clearly.

“Well then, shall we go?” you offered, not wanting to drag this out any longer. His injuries needed to be taken care of already. With clear disappointment he got up from the table and he let you help him get his pants back in place. The moment his hand reached out for your wrist you quickly pulled away and he looked up with genuine remorse. Hmm, interesting.

“Sorry,” he sighed and this time you let him take hold of your wrist, surprised when his touch was gentle as he rubbed his thumb over the most sore spot. “You’ve been all nice to me and I’ve been…”

“Yourself,” you finished with a shrug. Hurt crossed his eyes only for a second and you followed his gaze down to your wrist, where his touch was still so gentle.

“I’m not always like… that. I’m not.”

You cocked your head and watched him until his eyes met yours. There was a hesitance in them, but also determination. A soft smile graced your lips, which was met with the subtlest widening of his eyes.

“Maybe you could tell me more about that other you then, after we’ve patched you up.”

“Oh,” he said softly, followed by a nod. “Okay.”

“Come on, Sheriff Tillman.”

He smiled at your sarcastic, teasing tone and moved his hand down to yours to give it a light squeeze before letting go.

“Gator,” he corrected softly. “Just call me Gator, Y/N.”

“I was wondering if you’d remembered my name,” you chuckled.

“I always remember the pretty ones.”

“Flirting now, are we?”

“Maybe.” 

He tried to play it off cool. Until curiosity got the best of him. 

“Is it working?”

“Maybe.”

It was.

If you enjoyed this fic, please comment and/or reblog! It spreads my fic to other people to enjoy whereas a like does not, as much as I appreciate those too :) It would mean a lot <3

#gator tillman #gator tillman x reader #gator tillman x fem!reader #gator tillman x you #joe keery

[hwsing]

nsfw alphabet for germany and/or prussia? thank you!!!!

germany nsfw alphabet

notes: 18+, reader is gender neutral and i don’t think genitalia is really mentioned. includes: germany (ludwig). as always, reblogs are appreciated!

cws: mostly top + dom! ludwig; cockwarming, power dynamics, restraints/bondage, piss kink, pet play, size difference, toys, overstim + edging, pet play. let me know if i forgot any through replies, anon or PMs. wc: about 2k words. not really proof read.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

king of overthinking so trust that he’s likely to go above and beyond, especially at first. it’s also partially because he’s pretty deep in kink culture, but not quite porn dead brained; instead, he’s like… really conscious of being mindful. he’s not really the type for pillow talk and he can get pretty flustered after sex, so he’s gonna busy himself with getting you what you need.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

for him, it’s probably his overall physique since we all know this madlad works out like the world is about to request him to singlehandedly carry it on his shoulders. as much as he can be self critical, he’s pretty proud of himself!! he likes the confidence he can have in his strength and health and all that good stuff.

on his partner’s, he’d probably say something like their smile in an almost bashful way, but in reality it’s going to be their chest/hips/thighs/butt; whichever catches his attention the most, really. he just feels a bit bad that he’s that perverted, but you’ll know by how much he pays attention to that spot. i think he’s a boob guy (regardless of size/gender) though

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

ludwig is nasty in a way that should be studied. for someone who is so neat, he is very messy with cum — *both* yours and his. the type to kiss you after you swallow his cum, to stuff his fingers into whatever hole he creamed into to ensure it doesn’t leak, make you suck his fingers after getting you off with his hand. he likes to cum in you, but he does like how demeaning it is to cum on your body

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

what isn’t a dirty secret of his would be easier to answer… everything is a dirty secret to him. he’s a private person, okay! god forbid you somehow find his private tab. regardless of if you’ve been dating for years or a short time, he’s so embarrassed that he’ll go red.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s not super experienced because 1. he has little to no game, ESPECIALLY with feminine presenting people and 2. he’s always been pretty busy. by modern day and age he’s by no means a virgin, though. he’s gotten around enough — but he still is pretty awkward and tense at first. knows what he’s doing, but can find it hard to actually go through with it is all. give him a second to hype himself up!

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

anon stop it you’re embarrassing him with these questions :( LOL no but he’s pretty versatile, probably likes positions you’ve never even heard of but … maybe the seashell is his favourite. overall, likes positions where he can more or less go to town and put some weight on you, because even when bondage isn’t involved he’s inclined to pin you down.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

please do not make a joke while his dick and balls are out they’ll literally shiver up inside him and never come out again

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

when he has a partner he’s extremely well groomed. shaves by default but if his partner makes it known they like some bush he’ll grow some out

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

intimacy is something ludwig struggles with a bit. he worries he’s too awkward and just butchers it, completely ruining the mood; still, he definitely tries, especially when things are still just starting. he’s not very smooth with sweet words, and he knows he isn’t either. so, this intimacy is going to come from what he’s doing — the way his strong hands carefully hold you, how his lips kiss up your leg while he undresses you, the feeling of him holding your hands tightly while fucking you.

he does find cockwarming to be extremely intimate. ludwig does like it quite a bit; he’s not easily overstimulated either so he can handle it for a good period of time as well. he likes to big spoon for peak intimacy… holding you makes his heart almost give out

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

this isn’t terribly uncommon for ludwig. his sex drive is high, and he doesn’t get game often. he will use his own imagination, but only under the condition that something is inspiring him; for example, his crush or partner. otherwise, he has plenty of porn saved.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

we would be here all day if i said all of them. so lets just unpack a few

power dynamics: he kind of needs a sub/dom dynamic in the bedroom. he greatly prefers being the dom, but he can find it a bit hard to bring himself to actually act on his desires. and so, he really, really likes when you play up the submissive thing; the more pathetic you are, the more he’s gonna feel the urge to make you a mess. his mess though! he’s likely to manhandle you since he’s… probably stronger than you.

restraints: he’s not super picky with this one because as long as you’re at his mercy he’s satisfied but, he REALLY likes bondage benches. loves them actually. be warned because he’s gonna go to pound town with this one

piss kink: very into humiliation and he’s not above purposely making you piss yourself. the more embarrassed you are, the better, really; he’d entertain the idea of pissing on or in you as a punishment. would understand if you are not into this though because he is self aware enough to know it’s nasty

pet play: feel like this one is a given but anyways, he does like the kitty thing but he especially likes the puppy side so he can train and discipline you.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

anywhere around his or your house/apartment. “risky” sex would spike his anxiety in ways that should not be apart his foreplay… overall prefers a bed but he’s not above fucking you bent over the counter or smushed up against the wallz

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

unfortunately for him, just about anything. he’s horribly down bad. the lingering scent of your perfume/cologne/etc after you leave is enough for him to get him stiff.

i would say his biggest turn on’s though are; times when your size difference (if there is one) is prominent, when you’re struggling physically with something (the small groans/moans/whimpers… his mind travels FAST), and if you wear makeup. he likes the idea of ruining it

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

this is hard because i struggle to imagine him having a big no other than, like, surprises/not respecting boundaries and things of that nature. he’s pretty open minded because he of all people has no room to judge…!

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

here

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

prefers fast and rough for obvious reasons.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

does not like quickies. ludwig can see the appeal but… he’s only going to do it if he gets caught up in the moment enough to. not a common thing to expect from him

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

now you already know. he’s pretty open minded. the main times he’d be hesitant would be if the idea includes him bottoming or subbing, but he’s usually still down to at least try once

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he generally lasts a decent amount of time, but the first few times he sleeps with his partner he tends to take forever to cum because he gets SO nervous he cannot let himself. he prefers 2-3 rounds generally, but he does draw them out as much as he can. generally, he makes you cum at least twice before he does at all.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he’s easily one of the most into toys out of the cast in my opinion. he doesn’t like them on himself as much as he likes using them on you. he does have a handful, but will expand the collection with his own money if he discovers more online or his partner shows interest in a new one. i wrote a bit about this here

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

him being a sadist is well known i think 😭 he’s nervous to do it at first, as he is with everything, but once he feels comfortable prepare yourself because this man will not be your peace in the bedroom. whether it’s edging or overstim, making you get off on his boot or thigh, keeping you restrained with one of those fuck machines… he’s awfully creative.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

ludwig isn’t very loud and isn’t very talkative. unless he’s in enough of a headspace to degrade you anyways……. he groans quite a bit when he gets close but he’s not much of a screamer. even when he does talk during sex, it’s pretty much to the point and without many filler words. he does check in pretty often though, just to see how you’re doing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

gets a lot of dom drops/post nut clarity after particularly intense sessions but he’s very reluctant to share this. he just feels embarrassed/ashamed about reaching out for reassurance or comfort. it’s pretty easy to tell when he’s feeling like this though, he’ll be extremely quiet and have a tense look on his face while he goes extra with your aftercare while completely neglecting himself

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

now rarely do i give a man the credit of being well endowed but… i have to say that he is. i simply cannot picture him without a massive dick. i personally would guess around 8”, thick AND veiny; most certainly struggled to know what to do with it at first but he discovered the power of it soon enough!! actually kind of shy about it because he’s had a notable amount of experiences with a partner being iffy about how big he was. lmao

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

clearly pretty high. he’s also pretty well disciplined though, so it’s not enough to like.. take over his life or anything. ends up sexually frustrated often because of this… he has a poor habit of ignoring his needs

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

ludwig doesn’t usually fall asleep after sex unless it’s like just before his usual bed time. and even then, he probably will fall asleep after you since he’s busying himself with aftercare and whatnot. sleeps the best after getting to empty his balls once or twice though!

#sorry this one is a bit nasty #my in my defence so is he #my work #germany x reader #ludwig beilschmidt x reader #hetalia x reader #hetalia #aph germany #aph hetalia #hetalia hc #hetalia headcanons #hws hetalia #hws germany

[kingdaddydaichi]

nsfw alphabet: daichi sawamura

🏐 cw/an: nsfw, mdni, dom!daichi, f!reader, cum eating, bed breaking, spanking, hair pulling, rigging/shibari/bondage, tongue fucking, teasing/edging

🏐 tagging: @briokayama @lanaxians-2 (ch. III is coming along nicely 😉)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s so sweet, y’all. He’ll wipe you down with a warm, soft cloth and make sure you drink lots of water while he asks what you need from him like his hips didn’t just leave bruises on your ass.

B = Body part (favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Himself: his eyes (he’s not wrong)

Yours: if you ask him, he’ll smile and tell you “only the parts that are you”, but in his man-brain he’s thinking DAT ASS.

Bonus! – Your favorite body part of his: those 🎶THICCCCCCC🎵ASS🎵THIIIIIIIIIGHS🎶. If not, then you’re not a true Daichi fucker. #js 💁🏼‍♀️

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Daichi’s got some thick, powerful, voluminous loads okay? It’s why his balls are so big and heavy alright? No one ever has or will be able to put it all back with just one swallow. Best believe some will always leak out the corners of your mouth so you may as well swallow your pride right along with it. But Daichi’s spent dick will twitch one last time when he watches his cum spill from between your lips - either pair is fine.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Accidentally cums in his own mouth sometimes. He’s not trying to, it’s just that his mouth is usually open when his cock turns into Old Faithful. Hates the taste of it. Has mad respect for you since you drink him down without a single complaint. Thinks you must love him an awful lot (ofc you do) to let him cum in your mouth, especially since there’s always so much. But he will gladly let you kiss him with his flavor still lingering on your tongue after swallowing one of his fat loads just bc he loves you so damn much. So if either of you questions whether the other loves you just think of all that cum. 💀

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I think Daichi’s been with at least a few women before he met you? He’s fucking handsome and has this perfect balance of boyish charm and serious disciplinarian that ensures he hasn’t wanted for sex since he was 18. He met you in his mid-twenties and after his first date with you he broke things off with his fuck buddy (that you never knew/know/will know about). 

I should’ve just put it into 3.5 words: He’s a Capricorn. Of course he knows what he’s doing. He’s highly sexual, really good in bed, and will straight-up ask you while he’s fingering you if it feels good and expects you to tell him in real time what feels the best/what you like/how you like it. (Trust me, I’ve had more than one 👀 Capricorn male and can attest that this is how they do. 😤)

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Something about seeing you preen like a cat for him while he hits it from behind makes him go a little feral. Your face pressed against the mattress or pillow and your ass in the air like you’re presenting for him. Bonus points if you throw it back on him while you moan about how good he feels when he fucks you hard. 10/10 he’s gonna bust a fat nut in this position so save it for last 😏.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

His default is serious, but if something funny happens he’s gonna laugh so go ahead - let go of your embarrassment and be able to laugh at yourself (and him!). He just loves being authentic with you. He’ll be weird about it if you are, but he’ll be relieved if you laugh and make inside jokes about it with him.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpet matches the drapes, yes. 

The grooming part? Man, i’ont know. I’ve said before that he’s got a full bush but like maybe you persuade him to trim his pubes one time? Five minutes later, he’s apologizing while cumming inside you, moaning about how sensitive he is. It embarrasses him when he ejaculates prematurely for the first time since his teens, but damned if he’s not buying a manscaping kit. 👀 You’ve especially got him wrapped around your finger after you tell him how much bigger he looks when he’s trimmed. Like he needs the help. 😮‍💨

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I feel like Daichi has 2 main modes:

1.       He’s soft and thoughtful, slow and sensual while overwhelming you with his weight, mating you into the mattress, hands intertwined with yours as he presses them against the bed above you. 

2.       He’ll fuck your fucking brains out, kinky asf, you better hold the fuck onto something because he’s liable to break your fucking bed*. 💅🏼

(*again, speaking from my own experience with a Cap - it legitimately happened on 2 separate occasions 😬 so I just know this is gonna be a thing with Daichi. When I tell y’all Capricorn men are P A S S I O N A T E lovers I have never lied. They give Scorpios a run for their money. You see it coming with Scorpio; you don’t with Capricorn.)

So Daichi has bought you a couple of new bed frames since y’all started dating. Eventually you just give up on having a headboard. There’s really no point. Seems like the only purpose it served was something for Daichi to grab onto and slam against the wall when he’s railing you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Hmm…I like to think of Daichi masturbating like he’s afraid he’ll get caught. Trying to look all normal and shit even though he’s alone. Fighting like hell to keep a straight face while he tugs on his thicc cock with one hand and the other pulls at his large balls. Will whimper under his breath, trying to be quiet when he cums on his chest and abs.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Daddy Daichi is a Dom, a hard SAVAGE Dom and a service Top at the same damn time. But always Dom/Top. (Just keep in mind his aftercare is top-notch and you’ll be okay.)

I see him with a reward/punishment kink. Rewards you with his cock when you’re good; punishes you with his cock when you’re bad (whether by edging you with it or denying you of it or slamming it into you so hard you think he’s gonna break you.) 

Spanking (giving)! 

Hair pulling (giving)! Just imagine he’s got you on your belly with his mouth right up next to your ear whispering naughty things to you, pounding you into the mattress  while he slowly but firmly pulls on a fistful of your hair. Jesus help me. 😤😩😮‍💨 

Absolutely gets off on the idea of rigging. Handcuffs are cute and all, but he’d love nothing more than to tie you up Shibari-style and play with you. Please let him do this to you - you trust him. He’s so hardcore about it too. Like, he’s the type to tie the rope from your feet to your hair. Suddenly I feel inspired to write a drabble/fic about Shibari with Daichi. 👀

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Kinda the bathroom? He can’t begin to describe how turned on he’s been anytime y’all have fucked in the bathroom, whether at home or at a party or in one of the church bathrooms during your cousin’s wedding…Daichi cums so much that some of his hot semen dribbles onto the countertop between your legs.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Massage his legs and let your fingertips graze the sensitive area behind his knees. 10/10 will give him chills. When you’re watching a movie or something let your hand wander along his thigh until your hand just barely grazes his dick. He’ll look down at you with a knowing smirk while he shifts to open his legs a little more. Palm him through his clothes and feel him grow right under your touch. A few minutes of this and he’ll pull his rock hard dick out and pull you on top of him to bounce on his lap. If you’re in public, he’ll be a good boy and keep up appearances right up until he finally gets you alone. Then you’re getting punished. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I feel like Daichi wouldn’t be into butt stuff? Oh he’ll play with your ass, but his might as well have a “wrong way/do not enter/exit only” sign tattooed on it. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers receiving but that’s saying A LOT bc he loves eating your pussy. And it shows given his better-than-average skill level. He’s so sensual about it too, like he has full-blown makeout sessions with your cunt, licking and sucking your clit so good. Also, best tongue fuck of your life.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You tell him. He’ll kinda switch it up, go back and forth unless you tell him you want one or the other. I will say I think Daichi is an incredibly sensual lover (Earth signs usually are). His chest pressed against yours while he kisses you, his hands roaming your breasts, stomach, hips, back, thighs, everywhere while his strong hips roll against you nice and slow so you can feel every inch of him. He’s really fucking good at the slow and sensual, but trust that he won’t hesitate to rail you hard and fast if that’s what you need from him. Your sweet Daichi just wants to hear you whimper his name no matter how he fucks you. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) (this one accidentally turned into a short drabble 😬)

Especially after he becomes a cop his work hours are so fucked up that it feels like y’all hardly sleep together anymore. That’s why if he’s patrolling close to your home and he knows you’re there, he’s pulling into the driveway and coming inside.

He’s gonna find you wherever you are - in the kitchen, in your office, in the shower, in the backyard - and he’s going to bend you over the nearest surface and roll his hips against you. You’ll hear the clanking of his belt just before he yanks your pants down and moves your panties to the side to rub the head of his cock between your pussy lips. You’re slick in no time at all and he starts bullying his fat cock inside your tight walls.

“I’ve missed this so much, baby,” he says as his hips rut against your ass.

You’ll try to say something back but he just feels so good so all you can manage are a few broken syllables about how good he feels while he pounds into you, watching the striations of your slick along his cock as he slides in and out. He’ll reach between your legs and start tugging on your clit as his balls draw up, a sure sign of his impending orgasm. Soon your legs are shaking so much that you’d be on the ground were it not for Daichi pinning you to whatever surface he’s fucking you against.

You’re crying out his name and he feels your walls sucking him harder, talkin bout “Shit. So fuckin close, babe.”

Knowing he’s about to cum, hearing his breath become irregular, feeling his hips start to buck a little out of control sends you over the edge. You squeeze down around him so hard he loses it too.

“Mmfuck m’gonna cum baby”. He groans loudly and his hips go rigid as his cock twitches again and again, unloading his heavy balls into your womb. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Experimenting - it depends. He thinks he’s a lot more adventurous than he is. Like he’ll use toys on you if you ask him to. He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t get jealous of dildos; dildos get jealous of him. But I don’t see him having a dungeon or anything like that. The occasional Shibari scene is about as wild as it gets with him. 

Risky - he’ll tell you to define “risky”. Exhibitionism is a no-go for him. Oh he’ll fuck you inside a locked restaurant bathroom bc you’ve been rubbing his dick under the table. But he’s not gonna do anything that’ll get y’all caught. He’s not shy about sex - aha ahahaha - but he is very private about it. He takes calculated risks while being low key mischievous and sneaky. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I feel like Daichi can last a really long time? If he does cum kinda fast he’s ready for round 2 within 10-15 minutes. But when he’s done, he’s done. And usually really hungry. Will 1000% walk into the kitchen naked and start looking for food.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He didn’t own any toys before he met you, but now he’s got a cock ring maybe? Gets crazy hard wearing it. Also, mans bought a fucking Bluetooth remote control g-spot vibrator for you. Especially loves it when you wear it in public. Smirks and steals glances at you from across the room as you mingle. He pulls up the app on his phone and to everyone else it just looks like he’s scrolling or something but what he’s really doing is turning it on and controlling it while he watches you try not to rub your legs together during dinner with friends.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

The only time he teases is as punishment. He’ll let his cock get just close enough for the tip to kiss your clit then pull away. Or he’ll push it inside of you just enough that you feel that delicious stretch around his girth but not enough to push through the tight ring at your opening. Your pussy squeezes and throbs as if trying to suck him in but then he’ll pull back out talkin bout “Maybe later, Princess” like he just lost interest or something. A little while later when it looks like you might legitimately cry if he doesn’t dick you down, he’ll finally let you ride him until you can’t move your legs anymore. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Daichi’s kinda quiet, but he’s very vocal. Loves telling you what he’s gonna do to you, what you’re gonna do to him, how beautiful you are, how good you’re making him feel, how much he loves you, wants to know how you’re feeling and what he can do to make it better…but that warm, silky, deep (Japanese) voice of his is soft. His lips right up against your ear so his voice vibrates along your spine. Legit gives you chills. A couple of grunts or moans but when he cums? WOOOO he damn near whimpers and swears under his breath, just a simple “Fuck, baby,” trying not to let his voice crack. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Mans has some seriously sensitive nipples. You still remember the time you discovered this fact. You and Daichi had been making out and things were getting heated. He took his shirt off and your hands were exploring his chest when your thumb brushed against his nipple. He moaned in your mouth before gasping when you did it again. “Shhhhit…” he hissed between gritted teeth. You put 2 and 2 together and decided to play with him a little. Later, when you were grinding on top of him you bent down and started flicking your tongue over one of his nipples and Daichi damn near lost it. “You like it when I play with your nipples, Daichi?” you asked playfully. “Yeah. Be careful though, I don’t wanna cum too fast.”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Heh.

Okay so mans is packing. I saw a drabble recently that described it as a “fat thick coke can cock” and I couldn’t agree more. Not very long so 6”, maybe 6.5? But jfc no less than 2” wide. And a big thick tip. He’s a show-er not a grower. What you see when he’s soft is pretty much what you’re getting when he’s hard af. Mfer is so heavy it can’t get out of its own way so it doesn’t stand straight up. It’s just thick and kinda smooth? And quite a bit darker than the rest of his complexion. Also, huge, heavy balls. Uncircumsized. Dick print so big you can make out the head of his cock inside his thickest pair of sweats. 

Can’t express how much Daichi loves hearing you praise him for his size. Not bc he’s proud of being big, but bc too many times he’s been dumped bc of his size. Seriously, he’s thick. Big part of why you can take him though is bc he makes you feel safe enough that you can fully relax and let him take control. He’s so fucking good. Please? Take him all the way? He’ll be gentle, he promises. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Pretty. Fuckin. High. The former volleyball captain is highly sexual. Highly. He works hard and doesn’t complain, but a man needs his outlet. He’s also got Mars in Virgo so sex is going to be a huge pressure release valve for him. It’s also when he’s the most emotional/vocal about his feelings for you. You will have his undivided attention and be able to appreciate the full spectrum of his passion.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Not immediately, but don’t plan on having a long pillow talk session with him afterwards. He’s an intense lover so he’s pretty tuckered out. He’ll try to stay awake with you for a little while, but ultimately he’s just so damn tired and probs won’t be awake for too much longer. 

#daddy daichi #daichi #sawamura #daichi sawamura #daichi x f!reader #daichi sawamura x f!reader #daichi x y/n #daichi sawamura x y/n #daichi x you #daichi sawamura x you #daichi smut #daichi sawamura smut #daichi hcs #daichi sawamura hcs #daichi headcanons #daichi sawamura headcanons #hq daichi #haikyuu daichi #hq hcs #hq headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu headcanons #hq #haikyuu #haikyuu!!

[blushinggray]

Concept: pro hero!bakugou x stand up comedian!reader

Cw // suggestive, attempted humor, possibly annoying

What if you’ve been dating bakugou long enough to get his okay to make fun of him during your stand up sets. Like not make him your whole act but the content is too good to not spend at least a few minutes talking about the hilarity of your relationship/situation

“As some of you may know, i am dating someone rather famous”

*screams in the crowd from dynamight fans*

“Yes, that amount of applause just now clearly reflects how many of you are here to catch a glimpse of him in the back and not bc you actually think I’m funny. It’s cool, it’s all good bc in the end I’m still getting paid for this gig. Whether he comes to see my set or not, you guys will literally pay that entrance fee just for the slight chance my man or his friends will be in the audience and I will be taking full advantage of that. That’s right, i am not above using my bf’s rep as free publicity. He calls me shallow for it sometimes but I just give him the puppy dog eyes like, ‘aw cmon babe we earned this together!’ And then I’ll still get hero dick at the end of the night 😛 ”

“I’ll let you in on a secret. Exclusive. I bet you guys might think that the great explosion murder god dynamight is some big, bad, unapproachable, potty-mouthed, time bomb from what you’ve seen online and on the news and whatnot. Well, you know what? It’s all… absolutely true. Completely and utterly true. Yes, every bit of it. He can be the meanest, rudest, most frustrating motherfucker you have ever tried to hold a conversation with. And you know why our relationship works? No, not bc of communication, not patience, not therapy. All good guesses though. No, the real reason we work out is bc I have the fattest degradation kink ever.”

“You guys know I’m kidding. I love my bf, he has a really cool, admirable job. Just as admirable as any firefighter or doctor out there. It’s just that he gets to look sexier while doing it, yanno? And you’ve seen the charts, he’s good at his job. He’s in the top five of the whole motherfucking country. Can you freaking believe that?”

*cheers from dynamight fans*

“Yeah he’s freaking amazing. And i know what you’re all thinking. You’re all here wondering how the hell did that blonde bombshell end up with an average bitch like me? Well why do you think?! It’s because I’m fucking hilarious! Look, I see you hot girls sitting around in this audience and I respect you. I might stare at your tits more than my bf will but that is my business. And I know that you’re all probably fine, beautiful individuals underneath all your cute dynamight merch.

“But… I will let you in on another secret. Your mothers all lied to you when they said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach or whatever the fuck they told you. The true route to take is through the funny bone. You gotta break that shit and make sure he knows it’s your fault. And you gotta write your name so big on the cast that he will never forget that you made him laugh until he choked. Now, you can fill his stomach and his memories with some heartfelt meal that you slaved over for 3 hours, but he’s just gonna get hungry again eventually. But nothing leaves a deeper impression than that pain you left in his gut from making dick jokes all night. I mean come on, does it mothafucking look like I can cook? No! My only talents are standing up on platforms and putting phallic things close to my mouth.”

“Nah but let’s be serious, have you ever tried dating a pro hero? The amount of patience, flexibility, and self control you have to have is unreal. Yes ofc to hold back from tapping that ass every time you get a closeup of their hero costume, but also you gotta deal with their crazy schedules, unpredictable flakiness, and their unshakable sense of justice. He could be balls deep in me, dangling me upside down with that Herculean strength they’ve been training since they were fucking 15 years old, and he’d still book it the fuck outta there once he gets a text from the commission. Like, I am forever stuck in this side chick role bc he’ll always be holding out for goddamn justice and the fate of the world of whatever, ugh. What’s a bitch gotta do to get his attention for a weekend? I gotta go out and get myself stabbed or kidnapped. That’s a joke, that’s a joke. No one kidnap me, i will annoy you to the point that you’ll rather throw me into a river instead of keeping me for ransom. Bc we all know that if I’m about to die, I will be testing out my most rancid material. Istg I will make my murderers regret kidnapping me…”

-

And somewhere in the back or the side of the venue, bakugou’s friends might be laughing their asses off over drinks while the victim of all your jokes himself shakes his head but still lets out an involuntary snort every so often

#bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #drabble #sort I guess. maybe more just a concept #idk I had more but I’m not trying to actually write out a whole comedy set #also idek if this is funny pls laugh at my jokes I beg u #mine #I am idle at work rn pretending to look busy

[kaijime]

childhood best friend tsukishima

@fairytsukki. tsukishima being your best friend since u were little but he has always wanted to stuff ur tight little cunny so nice and full, so he confessed to u by making u feel good 🥺🥺🥺

includes. tsukishima kei

cw. oral (receiving), edging, vaginal penetration, creampie

a/n. this request lives on my mind rent free. (Also it’s 3:33 am, very scary lmao)

This rom-com movie is boring, he would much rather be buried between your thighs, making you scream his name with how good his tongue was running against your slit. But he would continue to leave that to his imagination. Or at least until it’s the right time.

He looks at the screen of the tv, the couple in the movie were sharing one of those romantic moments where they find each other again. “Really? Come on, it’s obvious that only happens in movies, I saw it coming what a ripoff”

His gaze never left your face, your sweet features he never got tired of admiring, beautiful body that made him fall head over heals for you. Your unmatched sense of humor was one of the other things that captured him but he didn’t want to think about that now because, maybe right now, right here, was the right time.

“Do you really think it’s only in the movies?” your head turned to meet his eyes, you didn’t notice this at the time but his eyes were lighted with a spark of an idea. “I mean, I could probably make you feel just as good”

“Yeah right, as if, you’re trying to ha-“ and he plunged his head forward, connecting his lips with yours in a long awaited kiss (at least long awaited for him). His tongue grazed against your lower lip in a question for access to your mouth and you gladly accepted. His tongue steeping into unexplored territory while his hands traveled through your back and found their way to your breasts, his hands squeezing and pinching your nipples gently, making you mewl in his kiss.

That was half an hour ago. Currently you were in his bed. You held the back of your thighs with your palms and shuddered as his tongue entered your tight hole, not enough to reach deep inside, but still enough to make you moan out his name.

“T-Tsuki, you’re so good... you f-feel so good” as much as he enjoyed your praise he could care less right now, all that mattered was making you feel good. He has never been one to service others, but the way you’re squirming and tangling your fingers through his short hair made him want to stay between those pretty thighs forever. You felt closer and loser to the edge of your orgasm, your legs trembling and you clench your eyes shut. He sees all of this and stops abruptly, removing his face from between your legs and giving you his signature teasing smirk.

“No! Do it again pl-please, I want you to-”

“Slow down baby, I only stopped because I want you to cum with my cock” he says, your cunt squeezes at nothing the emptiness making you uneasy and desperate for him. He moves his hand to his dick and aligns it with your entrance, entering you in one quick motion and quickly bottoming out. He waits a few minutes before pulling out almost completely and then pushing back inside you. 

“You’re so tight, so warm inside” he moves his head down to nibble at your neck, small bites trailing from the side of your neck to your jawline. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do this” 

“Tsuki-... a-ah please don’t stop” you say, his balls hitting your ass every time he moved deeper inside of you. “I think I’m gonna cum”

He moved faster and harder, at the same reaching deeper, hitting the spot that drives you crazy and making you cum with only a few more thrusts. The way your sweet cunt was milking his cock made him blow his load inside of you. The nice feeling of being filled to the brim with his cum overcame your senses and you moan his name like a prayer.

He pulls out and looks at the masterpiece he’s created. The naked body before him with your tongue hanging out of your mouth and his cum oozing out of your hole, panting and trying to recover your breath. Its enough to make him hard again. And it did. This was gonna be a long night.

©️ kaijime | all content belongs to kaijime, do not modify or repost

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader smut #haikyuu #tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima smut #tsukshima x reader smut

[bakugohoex]

Can I request general relationship hcs with kuroo? Thanks!

“you’re all mine, kitten”

pairing: tetsuro kuroo x female reader

cw: fluff, implied NSFW, kissing 

word count: 2100+

a/n: kuroo is smol and is a baby who i love, but we all want him to rail us um chile anyways so-

summary: in which you’re in a relationship with kuroo

↞ back to haikyu!! masterlist

Big dick energy, that’s all I’m saying BIG DICK ENERGY

Not only is this baby packing but he just a cocky science nerd who will send you science jokes and memes every hour of the day

Your whole Instagram dms are just the same meme in different fonts

His hair is soft but just knotty, you spend half an hour unknotting it because you know he would not care

He got other priorities he only lets you do it because he sits between your thighs

Will call you kitten and will have you saved as kitten on his phone

He’ll wait for you after every class to take to your next, he feels bad about you waiting after volleyball practice so this is him making it up to you

You both end up going to Kenma’s at night because you see his light on and make him go to sleep

Kenma hates how it’s become having two parents now

Baby will squish your face in every photo you have together, if his hands aren’t on your face it’ll be on your body

He smacks your ass in public this man has no chill

He’ll make you study with him just to spend more time with each other

Would do that Tiktok with you where he wears a maid outfit and you sit between his thighs, comments be thirsty for our maid boy and you’d simp even more for him

Whenever you make food you have to make extra because he pouts if he doesn’t get any of it

He does the obnoxious laugh where he holds his stomach when you act snarky with his team

He in love with you

Can’t lie will ask to fuck anywhere, will literally text a cute paragraph being like ‘good morning good luck for your test kitten *heart eyes*’ and then 20 minutes later send ‘I found an empty classroom, quickie?’

This man has no chill, but you’ll accept cause its Kuroo

He’d make you be Nekoma’s manager which means you become a parent to the whole team

Couch Nekomata doesn’t mind because you control them all and he loves how you make the team and Kuroo specifically work harder

When he blocks a ball, you know his ass would look straight to you to make sure you watched, you’d always cheer him on though because he’d get sad and do a Bokuto which is what nobody needs

You get made to come to the training camp and he gets way to protective over you because this is the first time you’ve met everybody properly

He’s wary of Karasuno and even Bokuto (even though you and Bokuto were already friends)

He protec, he attac but most importantly he loves your ass

“You’re staying by my side for the whole week, okay?” His arms were wrapped around your waist as his chest was behind your back, you stared up at his neck and jaw, laughing at the comment, “it’s not funny, Y/n, you’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread hotness everywhere”

He had started to pout as you face him, Karasuno’s bus arriving shortly, the rest of the schools had already arrived and when Bokuto had given you a hug from not seeing you in a while, Kuroo was pouting like a lost puppy. He had decided that from then on you would be attached to him and if you weren’t he wouldn’t rest till you were near him or in his eyesight,

“You’re being jealous Tetsu,” you had moved to see his face properly his arms still around your waist, as his hold on you was gently but possessive.

“But they might spend more time with you.” He mutters out.

“Kuro leave Y/n-chan alone.” Kenma spoke as the bus came through the gates.

You smiled shaking your head at Kenma who had looked up from his game, “thank you Kenma”

Kuroo didn’t reply instead holding onto your waist as his body shifted to suit the height difference, as much as you loved Kuroo, his love for you had no bounds and the lack of attention you had been giving him was neither yours fault it was just a perk of being manager.

“Daichi.” You smiled out having met him weeks prior, Kuroo’s hand still around your waist as you both walked towards the team.

“Y/n-chan.” The small orange haired boy shouted as he ran up to you both, “I can’t wait to play, I’ve been practicing, are you going to be watching?”

“I’ll try and watch your games Hinata” You smile as the boy was a ball of energy going to pester Kenma as you see Lev start to make fun of him for his height. “Lev don’t be mean.”

You had scolded Lev a lot but in your heart you knew he would turn out to become an amazing player if he kept up all the work he was doing, “sorry y/n-chan.”

You shock your head laughing as Kuroo had started talking to Daichi and Sugawara, his hand still placed on your waist, “how was the trip?” You asked Sugawara, his gentle features inviting anyone to talk to him.

“It was really long, Couch Ukai doesn’t even let us take breaks.” Sugawara smiled out as everybody had started to move inside.

“That’s old couches for you, Couch Nekomata makes me carry the boy’s sweaty vests from games, the smell and feeling I get makes me want to puke.” Kuroo’s arm had left your waist not realising as you walked inside with Sugawara.

“That sounds gross, I would actually hate that so much, you’re going to have so much fun carrying more vests this week at least.”

“Ha ha very funny.” You laugh as Kuroo and Daichi had stopped talking to each other and Kuroo was trying to spot your y/h/c but to no avail he couldn’t find you. 

You and Sugawara had gone your separate ways as he had gone to get ready for the games, not noticing Kuroo had been looking for you, you went back to the gym, where the games were about to begin. “Y/nnnn” You heard the tall grey-haired boy speak.

“Yes Lev.” You said turning around to meet him.

“Yaku hit me in my back.” He said sadly.

You rolled your eyes at him, “did you make fun of his height again?”

Lev stayed silent as he dragged him along to Yaku, “apologise Lev.”

He listens not wanting to be scolded by you, Kuroo had walked in watching as you made the two of them talk again, not wanting anything to ruin the training camp, you went over to tell Kiyoko and Yachi what would happen and where everything was before going up to Bokuto.

“You’ll do good today.” You smile as you knew Akaashi didn’t want to see sad Bokuto at all.

“So, when do I get my praise Kitten.” Kuroo whispered in your ear as you stood to the side.

You rolled your eyes turning to face him, “did I forgot to give my big strong baby some encouragement.”

You teased him as he brought you closer to his body, “yeah you did kitten, you owe me one now.”

“Kuroo get off of Y/n” Couch Nekomata shouted as the games were about to start. You laugh watching as he huffed letting you go.

“You’ll do amazing Tetsu.” You cheered as he went to start the game.

You had had enough time to have many breaks and when you did you were running around passing towels and water bottles to the team rather talus worrying about giving Kuroo attention. You knew he missed it and after the games were done you would give him as much as you could. You had just finished giving the bottles out as you saw Yachi holding a box of water bottles that looked like they were about to fall, you quickly ran towards her catching them just as her hands were about to slip.

“Y/n are you okay?” Yachi said scared at what had occurred, Kuroo had rushed over to see if anything was wrong, even though you were fine.

“I’m fine Tetsu.” You laugh as he looked at your fingers, Yachi taking the box back, he saw the red colouring of your hands,

“Let me kiss it better at least.” You laughed as you let him do what he wanted too, kissing each finger tip before leaving a trail on the reddening mark.

“You’re such a simp Kuroo.”

“Your simp at least.” He laughed as the games began again.

Small intimate moments would always hold a place in your heart, you loved Kuroo’s soft side and even then his normal funny humorous side still made your heart beat as well. He was the love of your life and he proved to you that he was always there for you.

The games had finally finished as every team moved on to do some training or other things, Kuroo making you come with him, Akaashi and Bokuto, well that’s what he wanted to happen.

“Y/n can I ask you something before you go?” You nod at Daichi as you let go of Kuroo’s hands.

“Ill meet you there.” You pecked his cheek before walking in Daichi’s direction, Kuroo’s cat eyes observed what would play out.

Daichi hadn’t really asked for a lot, he wanted to know if you could get a copy of how many games each team had won and lost at the end of the week, “I’d ask Kiyoko but she’s already keeping a watch on points scored and teaching Yachi the ropes.”

“Daichi don’t worry about it, I have to make one for Nekoma anyway and I was going to offer it to all the teams, so I’ll gladly give you it at the end of the day.” You smile as you laugh at how Daichi had needed to ask to gain such a trivial thing.

“Oh also, thank you for saving Yachi and our water bottles.” He smiles out.

You pat his shoulder laughing again, “don’t worry about it, couldn’t get your new manager hurt now could I.”

He laughs a yeah as you both go your separate ways, as you walk out of the first gym towards were Kuroo and the rest of them would be, you felt someone grab your wrist as they pulled you to hit the wall outside the gym.

“Kitten it seemed you and our rival were getting close.” Kuroo whispered in your ear, you could recognise his voice anywhere, one hand on the wall as the other came up to touch your face, slowly caressing it.

“He just wanted to thank me for saving Yachi.” Your breath becoming heavier, you hated to admit it but you loved this side of Kuroo, it made you feel alive and needed as if Kuroo loved every fibre of you enough to care about as much as he did.

Kuroo moved his head closer not wasting to reply, his lips fell onto yours, having to bend down to reach your height, your hands grabbed his collar, as ur hand rested on his collar and the other in his dishevelled hair. He smirked knowing how needy you were for him, how much you wanted his body pressed against you, his body pushing you onto the wall. His hand moved from your face to your waist making sure to bring your body closer to him.

The kiss deepened as his tongue moved inside of your own, you wanted to feel more of him but knew you had to wait till the week was over, you knew he’d try to ask throughout for quickies anywhere that had a lock but you wanted to be able to moan his name out loud and clear without having to be quiet.

A soft moan escaped your lips as his rough hand held onto your waist tighter to bring you even closer to his body, his touch sending electric shocks through your body at how hungry and satisfying the kiss was.

“Oi Kuroo you better not be groping Y/n, we have to practice.” Bokuto was shouting as he started to walk outside.

Kuroo finally let go, as the saliva and spit broke free from each other’s mouths, he smirked wiping his mouth before bringing his thumb and wiping your own, “you’re so needy kitten, do you want more?”

You pout knowing he was teasing you as you nod your head, “now remember,” he paused as he admired your dishevelled look, “you’re all mine, kitten.”

You nodded as you did want more but saw the tips of owl boy come closer and closer, “we’ll finish this later.” Is all Kuroo said as he took your hand dragging it towards the confused Bokuto.

You knew that you weren’t going to last the week without Kuroo on you or more specifically in you, but you’d be patient or even yet maybe you would let him have a quickie in a classroom somewhere.

If you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and I’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alaina-rose13

#haikyū!! #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu kuroo #haikyu kuroo #haikyu headcanons #tetsuro kuroo x reader #tetsuro kuroo x y/n #tetsuro kuroo x you #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo tetsuro x y/n #kuroo x you #kuroo x reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo tetsuro headcanons #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo imagine #kuroo tetsurō #haikyuu scenarios #bakugohoex #fluff #kuroo tetsuro fluff #imagines #hakyuu imagines #scenario

[dead-dog-dont-eat]

Things that I Say/Do as a Scorpio

(CW: Heavy swearing, suggestive humor)

When I'm honest

"Bitch, you are so fucking annoying."

"You think I'm soft? I'm like a fucking teddy bear covered in barbed wire."

"Yeah, I get that."

"Same here."

"Just because you're jealous doesn't my life is great. I suffer from many mental illnesses that make me wanna see if God is a myth and I saw a way how."

"Would you kindly shut up for five fucking minutes?"

"Yo mama look like Jabba the Hut with a glass eye."

When I'm sarcastic

"Oh, la, la, you are SUCH a genius! You wanna answer my question to what's the meaning of life?"

"Awwww, you like to complain about everything, Karen?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, I'm totally 100 percent happy--my life is super great!"

"Wow, great job comparing a nice guy to a dick, asshole."

"Oh, wow, such a nice expensive car, you showoff!"

"That's sounds very suggestive!"

When I'm mad or when someone makes me mad

"At least I'm not the one with the pencil-thin dick, Eric."

*puts a switchblade on the table* "You have twenty seconds for a headstart."

"I'm comin' for you, asshole. I'm gonna make sure that when I'm done with you--your murder will be a cold case."

"Say that again one more time." *pulls out a gun* "I dare you."

"I'LL CUT OFF YOUR NUTSACK--AND NAIL IT TO MY DOOR! Like, one of those fancy door knockers white capitalists have....THAT WILL BE YOUR BALLS!"

"I WILL full-on Mafia Boss your kneecaps."

*gets hurt* "SON OF A [inserts every swear word]"

When I'm excited/happy

"Fuck yeah, let's commit arson!"

*gets out a bat* "Oh, I'll be more happy to do so, you white-supremist cum-lickin' ass-fingering dick-eating Bezos-lookin' molerat."

"Alright! Celebratory hotboxin' everyone!" *gets some bongs out*

*breaks down the door* "DID SOMEBODY SAY SMOKE WEED AND TORTURE RICH BIGOTS?!?!"

*stims excitedly* "Let's get fucked up!!"

#zodiac #zodiac signs #astrology #horoscopes #scorpio #scorpio supremacy #scorpio sign #scorpio shit #scorpio stuff #swearing #profanity #mention: swearing #death mention #violence #tw capitalism #jeff bezos

[banjofeed]

bruises, scratches or piercings, your pick!

((Also on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12141195/chapters/28295736 ))

cw: violence and slurs in the first part

((High School AU))

Chapter Text

Prompt: bruises, scratches or piercings, your pick!

Walking home alone was once a very familiar feeling to Shane. He was used to the loneliness and solemn quiet as the occasional car past, the shouts of friends walking behind him. But then Ryan, his old neighbor and best childhood friend suddenly came back to his life after moving away for five years. Now he was used to Ryan’s wheezy laugh mixing with his own as they argued about stupid things and made jokes at each other. Being alone on the trip again made him uneasy. Maybe he should’ve just waited for Ryan to finish talking to their english teacher. Ryan told him to just go on without him, he could catch up if it didn’t take long. Shane could hear the shouts of people behind him as he turned onto his street; he ignored it and fidgeted with his books. He knew that he and Ryan were the only ones that walked down this street, so when he didn’t hear the voices fade to the other direction, he started getting nervous. He turned his head slightly to glance at whoever was behind him. Three boys, two of them in his grade, one of them was a year above him. They liked to cause trouble, and he’d gotten tripped or catcalled by them more than once. He was a bit of a nerd, and they liked to pick on him cause he liked to read some… okay fairly weird topics, like history and crime stories. It hadn’t gotten better when they discovered that he liked boys. The fact that they were here wasn’t a good sign, and Ryan wasn’t here with him this time to scare them off with his leather jacket and piercings and buffer body. Shane let his long legs carry him faster, hoping that maybe he could stay away from them. They seemed to notice, however, and started jeering at him. Ignore it, just ignore it, just get home… THUMP. Shane winced as he felt something hit his back. He didn’t stop, but glaced at the ground, where a pebble was rolling to a stop. He was getting scared now. He’d heard the rumors about them and what they’ve done. He had to get out of there before anything else happened. He clenched his books and took off into a sprint, trying to get away from the shouts and following footsteps. They were running after him, and one of them was gaining on him. He felt one moment of panic as he felt the boy grab his bookbag before he was pulled forcefully backwards. He threw his hand backwards to brace his fall, his palms burning like fire as they hit the asphalt and slid. The wind was knocked out of him as he landed on his bookbag, his head knocking against the road. He could do nothing but try to breath and see straight as the other two joined the boy. He tried to roll over, and was met with a foot to his side. He coughed and tried the other way, getting another hard kick. He managed to curl himself into a ball as they kept kicking him, jeering the whole time. It stopped suddenly, and he only had a moment of relief before he was dragged upwards by his collar. “Suck any dicks lately, faggot?” the older boy spit in his face. “W-why are you…” Shane choked out.

“Why the fuck not? Not like anyone is gonna stop us,” the boy laughed.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that, fucker.” a voice sounded behind them.

The familiar voice sounded like an angel to Shane’s ears. He was thrown to the ground as they got ready to face this new addition.

“How about you get out of here and don’t touch my friend again?” Ryan threatened darkly.

“Fuck, dude, he has a knife!” one of them said fearfully, taking off back towards the main road.

The other two took off after him after a moment, and Shane just laid his head back and closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the peace.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Shane…” Ryan murmured as he knelt beside him. “I shouldn’t have told you to go alone.”

“It’s not like you knew,” Shane rasped, his throat closed from fear and shock.

“Do you think you’ll be able to walk?” Ryan asked, hesitant to touch Shane.

Shane sat up slowly, wincing. He grit his teeth and made himself stand through the pain, and Ryan placed himself under Shane’s arm so that he could support him, holding Shane’s books under his own arm.

“Do you wanna go to my house?” Ryan offered.

Shane nodded, “My parents probably aren’t home yet, but I don’t want them to see this.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Ryan said under his breath.

There was a moment of silence, with only the birds and the breeze making any noise as they walked to their houses. Shane furrowed his brow and looked down at Ryan. “Did you really have a knife?”

Ryan met his gaze with a cocky grin, “Yeah, I always carry one. You can’t be too careful in the big city, or the suburbs, I guess.”

There was a time when Shane knew everything about Ryan. He was a scaredy-cat, but he always wanted to look for ghosts behind their houses and around the town. He liked bears but was scared of them too, and he was adamant that they would beat a shark in a fight. He would laugh about almost anything, and he would cling to Shane’s arm if he was scared. Then he moved away from their small town and to a big city in the summer before they started 7th grade. Then right before Shane was going into the junior year, he came back with a punk-rock attitude and piercings. He was still very much the same as Shane had known him, but this new Ryan just kept surprising him. He was honestly surprised that Ryan still wanted to hang out with him. He was just the weird tall kid who was sometimes funny in class. But Ryan stayed with him after all this time.

Shane couldn’t keep his eyes off of Ryan’s face. What did he do to deserve him?

Ryan looked up at him, and met Shane’s gaze. He smiled, “You’re gonna be okay, dude. If they try to mess with you again, I’ll kill them… Maybe I’m kidding.”

Shane giggled at Ryan’s morbid humor, one of the things they shared in common. If their shared look was a moment too long, neither of them mentioned it. Shane looked away, his gaze falling onto his scratched palms, and he gingerly rubbed them together to try and get some of the dirt off them. Ryan made an almost guttural noise, and Shane looked back up to see Ryan’s deathly glare directed at his hurt hands.

“Ryan?” he asked, confused.

Ryan shook his head, letting out a harsh breath. “Why would they even do something like that to you? What did you ever do to those jerks?”

Shane bit his lip for a moment. Ryan didn’t know. He hadn’t known how to tell him that he was gay, or how he would react. Maybe it would be better to go ahead and say it now…

“I don’t know, I guess liking boys is a federal offense to them,” Shane joked, although his strained voice gave away his nerves.

Ryan stopped. “What? Wait, are you serious?”

Shane stopped, turned only half to his friend. He couldn’t meet his gaze. “…Y…Yeah.”

There was a deadly moment of silence before Ryan started nodding. “Well… okay then… Why didn’t you tell me before?” Ryan asked, stepping back towards Shane.

They kept walking as Shane explained that he didn’t know how he’d react, and Ryan was deep in thought as he kept asking questions.

“So when did you realize-”

Shane interrupted him to point out that he was about to walk past his own driveway.

“Shut up Shane…” Ryan said, rolling his eyes as he walked back, a little sheepish. “Come on, I’ll get the first aid kit.”

Shane followed him inside as he unlocked the front door. Ryan led him to the bathroom, instructing him to sit on the edge of the tub as he reached under the sink to find the first aid kit. He sat on the toilet beside him, and Shane hadn’t realized how small Ryan’s bathroom was until just now as their legs brushed together.

“Give me your hands,” Ryan instructed, pulling out disinfectant and bandages.

Shane held up his hands, and Ryan grabbed one gently and set the other on his knee. Shane couldn’t help the slight heat in his cheeks as Ryan delicately cleaned his palm and bandaged it. “I’m guessing this is the best way to do this? I guess if nothing else, you look like a martial arts fighter and that’s pretty cool,” Ryan giggled.

Shane couldn’t help but laugh as he rolled his eyes, his face feeling like it was most definitely bright red as Ryan did started the same thing on the other hand.

After bandaging the other hand, Ryan looked over Shane, his eyes landing on Shane’s torso.

“Take your shirt off,” Ryan said with more command than Shane would have expected.

Shane just tried to keep himself together, of course Ryan wanted him to take off his shirt, he was injured, this wasn’t the start of one of his fantasies, just Ryan helping his friend out. He unbuttoned his shirt.

“Honestly, I don’t think it’s that bad. Just some bruises probably, I don’t think anything is broken.” Shane said as he slid it off his shoulders.

Ryan looked over him, and Shane was probably just thinking into it too much that Ryan’s gaze lingered a little too long.

“Yeah, I guess… should we take you to the hospital, just in case?” Ryan asked.

“No, Jesus, Ryan, I’m not dying. I’ll be fine…” Shane said.

They sat in silence for a moment, not sure what to do next.

“So… I never finished asking…. When did you realize that you liked guys?” Ryan asked a little hesitantly, not wanting to cross a line or anything.

Shane opened his mouth slightly, before closing it again. He thought for a moment before responding.

“When you left.”

Shane’s voice was soft and Ryan’s lips parted slightly, his gaze meeting Shane’s for a moment before Shane licked his lip and looked away.

“I was starting to realize that I may have liked you more than just a friend… then you told me you were leaving, and I just tried to ignore it and enjoy the time that we had left. But when you actually left, I cried a lot for a while. I wanted you back so much, and I wanted it to just be like it was. I asked a few people what I was feeling and even started searching the internet and realized that I had a crush on you…” Shane died down as he realized that he had just rambled all of the feelings that he’d felt years ago. “I… um…. Sorry…”

“No, it’s okay, dude… you had a crush on me?” Ryan asked, a soft smile on his face.

Shane couldn’t help but smile back sheepishly. “Yeah…”

Ryan was quiet for a moment before he leaned closer to Shane.

“And… what about now?”

Shane’s breath hitched in his throat as he realized how close Ryan was. Barely inches away, he could almost feel Ryan’s breath on his face. He couldn’t speak, only stare at Ryan’s dark eyes.

“You know… this whole time I was worried what you would think if I told you I liked you.” Ryan breathed.

Shane startled slightly, searching his face for any trace of joking or teasing. Ryan looked serious. His eyes flicked from Shane’s eyes to his lips. Before he knew it, Shane felt Ryan’s mouth collide with his own. Something seemed to click. This was actually happening. Ryan was kissing him.

Shane moved his own mouth, pressing back as his hands gripped Ryan’s thighs. He felt Ryan’s hands move up his bare back. Nothing else mattered anymore, he finally didn’t have to hold all of this in. They broke away for a moment for air, breathing heavily. Ryan’s eyes were dilated, and a disbelieving look on his face.

“Ryan…” Shane breathed, almost pleading for more.

Ryan looked away and pulled away for a moment. Shane felt his heart beat faster, thinking that Ryan was going to say that he didn’t like it or that he didn’t mean it or-

“Should we go to my room?”

Oh.

As soon as they closed the door, Ryan slammed him against the door, pulling Shane down to kiss him again.

“Sorry- didn’t mean- to do that- so hard-” Ryan mumbled in between kisses.

“No please, if anyone is gonna rough me up, I want it to be you.” Shane said, his voice low.

Ryan giggled before kissing him again. After a moment he pulled his lips away from Shane’s and kissed down his jawline before biting his neck. Shane gasped as Ryan began leaving his mark on him, his fingers digging into Ryan’s hips. Ryan’s hands squeezed lightly on Shane’s waist as he bit and sucked on Shane’s neck slowly.

“Ryan… mm, god damn…”

“You like that, baby?” Ryan asked softly, reaching back up to whisper in his ear.

Shane nodded, biting his lip before Ryan took over, kissing him again, biting his bottom lip. He pulled away to lead Shane to his bed.

“You are too damn tall,” Ryan said before they tumbled onto the bed, Ryan on top of Shane. They adjusted themselves so that Shane was comfortably sitting up against the headboard with Ryan straddling his lap.

Ryan took off his shirt before he kissed him again. Shane stopped, pulling away.

“Is those nipple piercings?! What the fuck?? When did you…”

Ryan laughed. “Not long after I got the tongue piercing actually.” “Jesus…” Shane breathed before he leaned towards Ryan’s chest, beginning to rub his nipples gingerly with his thumb. “Do they make it more sensitive?”

Ryan’s hitched breath and tightened grip answered it for him. He leaned Ryan back a little and took one of Ryan’s nipples in his mouth, his tongue playing with the piercing.

“Fuck, Shane…” Ryan groaned.

After a few more twirls with his tongue, he let off with a pop of his lips and did the same to his other nipple, relishing in Ryan’s gasps and groans and tightening grip.

“Shane, how far do you want to take this?” Ryan asked as they kissed again.

“As far as you want,” Shane answered, staring deep into Ryan’s eyes for a moment.

They both knew how the rest of the afternoon would be spent as their lips reconnected… Thank god Ryan’s parents weren’t coming home til six.

#shyan #skeptic believer

[thestuckylibrary]

Mod’s Reads: July 2017

Continuing our newest feature, here's the list of what the Mods have read this past month!

Mod Blue

tin soldiers by idrilka  Dishonor On Your Cow by mandarou That Is Not A Cow by mandarou  'Til the End of the Timeline by mandarou In the Carcass of the World by Speranza More Than This by concavepatterns Field Studies by concavepatterns Harm and Foul by concavepatterns Except it Abide in the Vine by spitandvinegar (restricted) I have crawled out of my cobwebbed tomb in the midnight gloaming by spitandvinegar The Long Road Begins at Home by owlet The Pugilists by ipoiledi the future's so bright (I gotta wear shades) by KiaraSayre this is not a drive by by plutos All Those Things You've Always Pined For by LavenderProse Ready Player Two by perfect_plan  warm me up and breathe me by caelestys We Can Work Out The Rest by onethingconstant AKA Superheroes Anonymous by onethingconstant persistence of memory by hollimichele  Fluff by MoreThanSlightly (cadignan) A Pretty Boy with a Bird Tattoo by Kryptaria, rayvanfox

Mod Julia

Dirty Pics by lillupon 

There’s this one guy Bucky slept with three months ago who still sends pics of his ass whenever Bucky asks. What can he say? Grant’s got an ass that just won’t quit. 

In the Carcass of the World by Speranza

"Post-apocalyptic AU. The idea I had while drawing was that the end of the world happens some time after WS or CW, Steve and Bucky are looking for Tony so he can make a new arm for Bucky, and Natasha, Clint and Sam are looking for them so they can stop Hydra from taking control of what's left of society. That or quiet slice of life, except in a post-apo world." 

Fourth of July by ChettaDrabbles (KOranges) 

Honestly, Steve hadn't thought going to the bathroom was going to be all that exciting. 

Group Projects Suck by youngavengerfeels 

Bucky gets paired with a guy who never shows up to class for a group presentation. 

Three, and Not Just Two by CoraRochester 

Steve tried to take a drink of water from the glass on his bedside table, but there was definitely already a three-inch long piece of dog hair in it. The ice hadn’t even melted yet. 

Gunpowder Ice Cream by Defiler_Wyrm 

“You keep that up you’re gonna end up with a pudgy midway,” Steve teased.

Bucky didn’t even glance over. He just squirmed down deeper into the blanket and licked his spoon.

“That’s right. I’m gonna get fat,” he declared, to all appearances ignoring Steve’s sputter of laughter. “I’m gonna stop doing a thousand crunches a day and let my belly get all soft. What’re you gonna do then, punk?”

Renascence by hitlikehammers

When they tell him, he freezes. Steve feels his bones seize and his blood go cold and slow and snag on spears of ice that catch, that flay him alive.

We’re in the final phases, Captain. He'll wake within the month if we’re lucky.

A Thousand Men by merkkat

He has killed many men, but he will kill a thousand more to keep his freedom and his Steve.

Government Man-Date by velvetjinx

Bucky Barnes is interning for congressman Steve Rogers during his reelection campaign. Sparks fly between the two of them, but how will their relationship affect the campaign?

Moosebumps by rohkeutta

Steve feels like he’s in some wild fever dream as he walks closer and says, “Hey, you all right?”

107 looks up. He looks even prettier up close, even (or especially, Steve’s mind supplies unhelpfully) with his cheeks flushed with the exercise and sweat beading on his forehead. He does look a little crazy, though.

“Huh,” 107 says, looks down Steve’s body, then up again. “I know we just met, but your dick looks like it’s getting strangled.”

Short Circuit by Chiyume

Something is obviously wrong with Bucky's arm, but he still refuses to let anyone look at it. Steve suspects foul play, and goes to confront his friend about it. Only, when he finally finds Bucky, the truth turns out to be much, much worse than Steve ever suspected.

Slip of the Tongue by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen)

When Bucky transferred to the new location he was expecting he'd have to get used to doing things differently. They were all part of the same coffee shop chain, but every store was a little bit unique. He wasn't expecting Steve, six foot plus of blue-eyed muscle who worked at the local bookstore and doctored his coffee with enough sugary syrup to feed an army of hummingbirds, or that getting used to him was going to feel so much like falling.

Mod Dee

for you, i give my soul to keep by samoosifer

Steve stared at Bucky curiously, a dragonfly floating past in the sun. The sound of the river floating by, the soft breeze and the calmness that Steve felt made him feel truly relaxed like he'd never been before. He trusted Bucky. There was something terrifying about him but deep down, Steve knew that Bucky wasn't going to hurt him.

kicking down the door by layersofsilence

Getting married is surely an unmistakeable gesture of romantic love between two people. Even if those two people are men, it can't be that difficult to understand, right?

(Wrong.)

Mod Karin

And Shadows Will Fall Behind by leveragehunters (Monkeygreen)

The world was full of things no one could have expected.

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes never expected to fall from a train into decades of torture and killing.

HYDRA never expected their perfect Winter Soldier's programming to shatter.

And Bucky, who'd once been the Winter Soldier, who was now an auxiliary to the Avengers, never expected to look down from a rooftop in New York City, where he was keeping watch over the world's most ineffectual aspirant supervillains, and see a tiny ball of angry sunshine. Fierce and fearless, he loosed feelings in Bucky that he'd thought were gone forever.

Bucky was determined to see him again. The better thing would have been to introduce himself. Not to stealthily follow him as he leapt across the rooftops, strong and agile, feet touching down like he was doing gravity a favour.

The world may have been full of things no one could have expected, but Bucky probably shouldn't have been surprised when his tiny ball of fierce, angry sunshine dumped him on his ass.

après nous le déluge by tomorrowsrain

After us, the deluge.

Steve and Bucky break, mend, and try to find their place in the world without the mantles of Captain America or the Winter Soldier. AU, post Civil War.

(i won't say) i'm in love by jamesbuchanan

Five times Steve said he hated Bucky Barnes. (And the one time he admitted he didn't.)

If it brings you homeby Kalibear

After six months of searching for Bucky, Steve asks for help from Tony, Dr Strange, and Reed Richards but the portal that was supposed to send him to a 'where' sends him to a 'when' instead.

Instead of finding the Winter Soldier, Steve finds 19-year-old Bucky.

Leannán by charlesdk

Leannán /ˈʎɛn̪ˠan/ ;    noun | lover, sweetheart. From Old Irish lendán, lennán (“(male) lover, sweetheart, beloved”).

“Steve Rogers,” he says and holds out his free hand to Bucky, putting on a kind smile while simultaneously ignoring Cassidy climbing onto him.

“Bucky Barnes,” Bucky says and shakes his hand. But he isn’t looking at him. No, he’s looking at where Cassidy is planting one of her feet flat against Steve’s hip and hoisting herself off the ground. There’s a smile on his lips and a soft expression on his face, and Steve tries really hard to ignore the urge to ask for his number.

Oh boy. Not good.

OR – In which single father Steve Rogers meets and befriends kindhearted asshole Bucky Barnes and falls in love despite his best efforts not to. It’s a slow and challenging journey thanks to his past but eventually they get their happy ending. Together.

Moosebumps by rohkeutta

Steve feels like he’s in some wild fever dream as he walks closer and says, “Hey, you all right?”

107 looks up. He looks even prettier up close, even (or especially, Steve’s mind supplies unhelpfully) with his cheeks flushed with the exercise and sweat beading on his forehead. He does look a little crazy, though.

“Huh,” 107 says, looks down Steve’s body, then up again. “I know we just met, but your dick looks like it’s getting strangled.”

Once Upon Some Bullshit by machine_dove, Sproings

Bucky really hated magic. He had always hated magic, ever since the first time he'd been forced to believe in it, back in the trenches in occupied France.

He hated it even more now.

A beautiful white swan was standing where Steve should have been, and Enchantress was fucking giggling like the asshole she was.

In which magic is terrible, Steve is sick of this bullshit, and True Love Conquers All

The Joy of Little Things by obsessivereader, Sealcat

"Do you want me to eat you?"

“No, but—” Steve broke off his instinctive response. All his life, he’d believed in doing what was right… he was not about to stop now. Wincing at the prickling pain in his feet, he straightened up to his full height. “Yes. If it means you’ll leave this place.”

"But you don’t look very filling." The tip of the dragon’s tail twitched. "I don’t suppose you’re a virgin?" he asked hopefully. "I’ve heard they taste better."

Steve gritted his teeth and refused to answer. The dragon could very well find that out for himself. He stared at the dragon. The dragon stared back. Then the dragon got up, turned around, and went back into his cave.

"Well? Come on, tribute."

or, how Steve ends up working for a dragon with a very odd sense of humor

Three, and Not Just Two by CoraRochester

Steve tried to take a drink of water from the glass on his bedside table, but there was definitely already a three-inch long piece of dog hair in it. The ice hadn’t even melted yet.

....

Bucky "liberates" a Chow Chow and brings it home. This means, in no particular order: special shampoo, dog hair, googling "can dogs eat apples??", more dog hair, and learning to share your boyfriend with the dog.

Steve's none too quick on the uptake that it's his dog, too.

Inspired by the artwork of silentwalrus

Where You Lead by mambo, tuntekorpp

“That was before I saw that you were on a date,” she says. “Date?” Steve asks, confused. "The man you were holding hands with,” Peggy says. Steve shakes his head. “No, no, that’s not a date. That’s just… Bucky. He’s Bucky.”

Steve is a single dad who manages the local inn. Bucky runs the local diner. Steve loves Bucky's coffee, but definitely not Bucky. Except, maybe that's not so true. Well, it's true about the coffee. Steve definitely loves Bucky's coffee.

(A Gilmore Girls-inspired AU that doesn't require background knowledge of Gilmore Girls to enjoy, and a Captain America Reverse Big Bang offering from mambo and tuntekorpp.)

#mod picks