#deez nuts

[silkythewriter]

Vox and alastor with an undeserving to be in hell reader!

Warnings!:non!

Fandom!: Hazbin hotel!

Author note!;I THINK TUMBLER ACTUALLY HATES ME (ﾒ﹏ﾒ)(｡•́︿•̀｡)it keeps not letting me edit my drafts, it’s happened like 3 times already this week alone!,…BUT ANYWAY I LOVE THIS IDEA I REALLY HOPE YOY ENJOY!!!!♡´･ᴗ･`♡

Summary!: alastor and Vox x reader WHOs I. Hell for a minor sin/crime

❤️Written by silkythewriter do not steal or repost any other platform please! <3❤️

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“Each time I find myself

Flat on my face

I pick myself up and get back in the race!”

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!📺✨Vox✨📺!

When you first admitted what you did that counted as a “sin” he was flabbergasted! He thought they must’ve made a mistake. All be it one that was in favor since he got to be damned with you. But still!

Out of every monster known to man kind one who’ve committed acts that are despicable. You, one who can barely hurt a damn fly get sent with them?

At first he thought you were genuinely just joking. And he actually laughed! Like audible chuckled before waiting for the actual reason, which never came, and he soon realized you were being serious!

He always questioned why you use to refuse to kill, or at least scare people into respect. But then you explained how you refused to be like the rest of the sinners.

He utterly dumb founded you made it this far without spilling a bit of blood, at least for survival!

He becomes more overprotective as if he wasn’t before, good luck with that!

Cause now he knows your rules, he knows you won’t budge. Nothing would get you to change your mind. So he made sure to keep eyes on you 24/7, you may be nice, but the other sinners in this damned place definitely aren’t. And he knows that from experience

Would neither confirm or deny he put a small tracker in an item you carry every where.

This man has enemy’s as you’ve seen, demons, overlords, rival company’s, it’s a headache an a half for him. Not that he hates protecting you and your values! No never!, but the nerve of the people who think they even have a chance to lay a hand on you.

Gives you the lastest phone from his series, and yes he will text you and blow up ur phone up if he can see you through cameras around the city.

Even if you put it on silent he wouldn’t put behind himself to over load it and just show up on your phone screen.

Sometimes he’s just so confused how you can be so nice, or at worst passive to those who are poking at you. He thinks your a saint, even if you aren’t, an maybe you have a short temper still the way you hold yourself form blowing up is astonishing!

Sometimes he jokes about how if you were to go to Charlie you would be redeemed in a day. And at night sometimes he thinks about it and it scares him to know there’s a possibility for you to go where he will probably never be able to follow you too

He loves you to the depths and the crooks of hell, and he’ll be damned again if he lets anyone hurt you. He sees you as a small soft light in the red cover world, and he will do anything before anyone can put out that light.

He makes sure to keep a good distance between you and Val, a BIG distance.

He’s always on the edge about people around you, how can’t he? He can’t trust all these “disgusting and repulsive” sinners in hell around you. The thought alone cringes him out and stresses him.

He knows to some degree he isn’t exactly better then them sin wise, but he makes sure to do his best for you while infornt of you, he cares about his image, and wouldn’t be afraid to scare someone into discipline. BUT he will tone it down, just for you ♥(⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)♥

He has you under wraps, from the public eye in this case. As much as he’s one to show off his earnings, he loves you a little to much and knows well people will use you as a advantage. He loves to show off but you something just for him behind close doors for now before he can work something out

NOW if the public were to already know, he show off by showing how untouchable you were, demons knew better to approach you seeing as how fast he is to get rid of those stupid enough to try something.

Overall he respects your morals of not wanting to stoop as low as other sinners. But it dose make him more protective of you, your like a rare gem. There’s only a handful of people like you, and even then the numbers decrees daily, so he dose his most to make sure you safe and happy <3

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!🎙️✨Alastor✨🎙️!

Like Vix he humors it at first! Playing around with it before Laughing with his usual staticky voice as he stared at you with his unnerving smile. You guys quite literally stared at each other for a hot minute waiting for the other to say something.

It took you clearing your throat for him to realize you weren’t just trying to get a chuckle outta him.

And for the first time since you met him you caught a hint of confusion, making you explain that it was genuinely what you did.

He quite literally burst out laughing, you, someone who probably did something everyone did once is in this horrid place stuck with the horrid monsters ever! Just for that single act alone.

He will admit he found it a bit amusing how you refused to kill or lay a hand on anyone. Refusing to stoop to other people’s levels. Now that for him is pure gold of entreatment! He’s seen people like you, say the same exact thing then crumble when backed I to a Corner.

But for the first time, for all the decades he’s been damned here, he’s seen you stick to what you’ve stated. You were very much quite a spectacle!

Now finding new amusement, he decided to protect you, cause someone like you were sure to be a one time experience. Aside from loving you of course

Now with your name being accosted with him alone is a shield in if its self. Barely any one approached you, aside from those playing with their afterlives of course.

If you ever feel a looming shadow or presence it’s most likely one of his shadows. Like Vox he is gonna have his eyes on you almost always

Although he loves you he will play around to get a reaction out of you. All for the fun of it!, he knows you cringe when he talks about his cannibalism tendencies he just loves seeing your cute little face scrunch up!

Even though with all of that he is a gentleman and will make sure no one is to bother you.

He’s quite impressed you made it this far without getting killed, I mean of course you have him but if you arrived to hell and didn’t met him immediately he’d be quite impressed and surprised one you both do meet

He indulges himself in the horrible aspects of hell, with no remorse or shame what so ever either. So although he dose respect your wishes he won’t stop or calm down his tendencies.. （；へ：）but on the bright side he’ll make sure your far away or he goes off to other part of the city and do whatever he wishes. But your likely to see on the news either way… (￣▽￣💧

He dose enjoy the more civil and nice talks he has with you though! He finds it nice to take a break from all the crude talk on the street from other sinners and have a nice conversation!

Great listener let me tell you, he’ll happily sit there as you explain your day away! He honestly enjoys hearing you genuinely happy!, although his a chatter box himself but he enjoys listening to you more then anyone or anything else!

Watches you be nice to the most repulsive, and rude demon like it’s nothing. Even when disrespected you find a way to calm down the situation and nicely at that. Of course the demon doesn’t live long once their out of your sight, but still! He’s pleasantly surprised.

He finds it rather weird that your nice just for the sake of being nice but still it’s definitely a nice refresher from all the horrible people down in hell!

You catch his eye rather quickly with how you stick out from others (in a good way! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ) and his eyes end up on you, you mainly have all his attention almost always if he isn’t off doing something!, your his light just live Vox he’ll make sure you’ll shine bright as ever and won’t go out.

Not everyone can catch it but in some rare moments he’ll be seen just staring at you as you happily talk away to Charlie. And for the smallest second you can see his unnerving smile turn into a soft smirk, eyes only on you and his mind filled with only you. This happens on the regular, it’s just he’s quick to cover up so no one sees!

Overall he loves you, even with some differences between your views he’ll still do his best to make you comfortable. Aside from teasing you here and there! But other then that he’ll protect you, your one of kind. And he loves having things no one else can.

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AHHHH HELLOOOOO OH GORSH I MADE IT JUST IN TIME THIS TOOK SO LOBG TO DO CAUSE I KEPT HAVING TO DELETE AND REWRITE ON A NEW DRAFT AUGHHH I HOPE TUMBLR FIXES THIS BUG, BUT ANYWAY TYSM FOR REQUESTING PLEASE COME AGAIN!!!\(^ヮ^)/’

#x reader #anon <3 #deez nuts #hazbin hotel #all genders #main character #x y/n #sorry this took so long #tumblr won’t let me edit my drafts :(. #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #vox x reader #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel headcanon #vox and alastor #ty for coming to my ted talk #dies #ty for the ask <3 #tysm <3 #ty anon! #thank you for requesting! #thanks for the request!

[deeznuts-anon]

dear @sm-baby

I am truly sorry for cursing you with those foul words I entered into your ask box and the sorrow I feel every day is too immense, therefore I have made this decision. I will allow myself to be sacrificed and burned away, along with this story. Please forgive me and my sins. Even if you were only one of hundreds (I’m not kidding when I say this), each person deserves hundreds times the apology. I am truly sorry and I hope you forgive me before my execution.

nah fuck that lol I’m not sorry

(this is completely satire)

#deez nuts

[mrdr4fun]

Bro has too much free time

#art #sketches #magma doodles #kazuhira miller #kazuhira mgs #mgs #metal gear solid #mgspw #metal gear solid peace walker #deez nuts #someone free me #doodles #murder art

[facts-i-just-made-up]

How big is a atom?

It's hard for human minds to comprehend very large and very small things. It is very hard to consider even how large the Earth is, let alone a larger planet or the Solar System. A Galaxy containing hundreds of billions of such systems is completely out of our ability to think about realistically.

Similarly, very small things such as atoms are beyond our ability to imagine, with things like single cells and even very small animals being unthinkable. As such, we have attributed anatomical and familial metaphors to objects of extreme size, and this is why people inevitably compare galaxies to 'Yo Mama' and atoms are said by many to be as small as 'Yo Dick.'

For more insight, it's best not to try to get a firm grasp on those concepts until one has a firm grasp on "Deez."

#yo mama #yo dick #deez nuts #science #unreality #cw dick and balls humor #im real classy today

[allhailthefrog]

one time i had a dream where there was a death note arc where the death note notebook got replaced by a death note red solo cup that had "DN" on it in sharpie and light would kill people by drinking from it in the corner of frat parties with mikami and everytime he killed someone theyd make out and the kira police task force wanted to investigate more after the notebook disappeared but no one on the task force could bring themselves to investigate light because 1. what if theyre subconsciously targeting him bc hes gay with mikami that would make them homophobic and 2. no one wanted to ask about the cup bc everyone thought the "DN" on the cup stood for "deez nuts" and no one wanted to get deez nutted at a frat party and be embarrassed.

#death note #light yagami #teru mikami #misa amane #touta matsuda #ryuk #kira #l lawliet #deez nuts

[athena-cat-wizard-official]

#linux #deez nuts #systemd

[zozorabbit]

i drew this for science 🧪

#the one that got me the dranart follow #deez nuts #dreastables #dreamblr #dranart #dreamwastaken #zozorabbitart #fanart

[screamojin]

i lied. i dont like sex. put ur clothes back on babe. i’m going to explain the shift in the way hannibal now sees will after his fight with tobias in fromage and why he now explicitly avoids eye contact with will.

#hannibal #nbc hannigram #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #murder husbands #hannigram #mads mikkelsen #hugh dancy #deez nuts

[gavamont]

The Jester: milord, hast thou beheld?

The Duke: tell me truly jester, and dispense with your vagueries. What am I to have beheld?

The Jester: lo, thou hast beheld mine balls!

The Duke: fi and damnation upon you, Jester!

My wizardly ass sitting in the corner, disguised as a beggar: oh ho ho ho, eeh hee hee hee!

#wizard #wizardposting #wizard shit #wizardblogging #d&d #dnd #the Duke #the jester #deez nuts

[browsethestacks]

Not Daredevil?...

Art by Dan Schkade

#Comics #Marvel Comics #Daredevil #Dan Schkade #Humor #Humor Comics #Dees Nuts #Deez Nuts #Art #Marvel

[twst-chaos]

Malleus Draconia studying the historic events of Floptropica (a totally real place btw)

Truly a great nation 🫡

…I take requests. I’m running out of ideas

#disney #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #fanart #twst malleus #malleus draconia #malleus #diasomnia #book 7 twst #floptok #floptropica #the badussy war #sebek zigvolt #reqs open #malleus is serving looks as per usual #the phone is probably Cater’s #deez nuts

[silkythewriter]

I had an idea for a few headcanons you could do if ya want—

Maybe Sir Pentious with a reader who is so obviously in love with him, and keeps pining over him while literally everyone else but Sir Pentious himself can tell they like him? Like he's just really oblivous until reader finally straight up tells him.

Sir Pentious with a clearly in love reader!(●’◡’●)❤︎︎

Warnings!: Non!

Fandoms!:Hazbin hotel!

Author’s note!: HI HI OMG I LOVE SIR PENTIOUS HES SO SILLY!!!! I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DID

Summary!: reader who’s clearly in love with our favorite snake demon

❤️Written by silkythewriter Do not steal or repost on any other platform please! ❤️

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“Call me, you can call me

Boy, just call me (call me, call me)

While you stalling, I'm evolving

I'd give all me��

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!🐍✨Sir Pentious✨🐍!

First of all, just to get out of the way, THIS MAN IS OBLIVIOUS!!!!, Autism be damned my boy can pull without even telling!!!!!

No but in all seriousness he is oblivious to your obvious longing for him.

Everyone can see you giving him shy longing stares only for him to be ranting about his latest invention. Not only would he not be able to tell but he’d always think your just being nice!

Of course he’s crushing hard behind his bedroom door to his little eggs. Happily stating and going on rambles of how gorgeous you looked today. He’d state everything! From the new hair style you tried to the new piece of clothing you bought and wore. When I mean he notices everything I mean it, but for some reason he can’t pick up on your obvious love for him.

The way he could stare in your eye as you tell him he looks breathtaking and still think you mean it just to be nice is astonishing. OF COURSE HES BLUSHING AND KICKING HIS TAIL, but he can’t bring himself to think you like him anymore than just friends!

He’d go to his egg boys and sadly rant on how you’ll only see him as friend. And the egg boys all share one Brain cell so they can’t tell you like him aswell!, maybe they might accidentally spill, or almost spill the secret of him liking you but he quickly knocks them away before you can make sense of what their saying.

All the residents watch as you do your best to drop hints only for him to complete miss it. Even angel cringes as he watches him completely be oblivious to the obvious flirting, it’s take Charlie and Vaggie to stop him from pointing out the obvious.

Husk almost always gives Sir Pentious as gaze of just utter confusion and tiredness.

He’d gladly take flowers from you that you gifted him and take care of it for weeks on end without realizing the romantic gesture!

Alastor, as always finds it humorous, although he usually doesn’t indulge himself in romantic like things he’s find it hilarious. “Even with three eyes he still can’t see the obvious! Ha!”

Charlie tries to help to the best of her ability to help guid him the right direction but it’s just end up with him more confused. Vaggie just face slaps internally,

honestly the whole crew wasn’t having high hopes for him as dim as that is. , look! He ain’t bad looking, but not many people would prefer his clumsy self, so they were honestly hoping he’d figure it out before you possibly moved on.

Even when your upset at the obvious frustrating situation he’s still be confused while trying to do his best to comfort you.

“Well I think the man isss clearly as dumb as a rock!”

It took you starring dead in his eyes for him to question if you were alright. Before you stated it was him

The way he just stood staring at you in pure disbelief, before snapping out of it and embarrassed as his previous words. But after the said embarrassment he’s full with giddy, why of course you love him!, he’s the great sir pentious!

Yea his embarrassment would quickly turn into pride, considering he got someone as beautiful as you to fall for him.

Definition of a clumsy gentlemen, he’d open doors so fast it’d smack him in the face, or pull when it’s a push door and be confused why it’s not opening.(´ω｀💧)

He’s just a silly lil guy! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝)

I feel like the crew in the hotel would be relief to find he finally figured out.

At the end of the night he’s squealing like a high school girl as he rambles to his egg boys about you in a new light!.

He’s gift you small little trinkets or happily spend hours with you talking!

He’s as lovesick as your are! He’s just a bit dense when it comes to accepting the fact you love.

It’s like the roles switched! Now he’s daydreaming-ly staring at you happy to have you as his, and him a yours.

Like I’ve said before! He’s a total drama queen, he can’t help it!, deny him a kiss teasingly? He’s crumbling down to the ground and holding his chest as if he just had a heart attack! (¬_¬)

He’s not at all secretive of his love for you, even if he wants to, to keep his image “professional”, he just can’t help and dote on you!

overall he’s a big dote and softy even if he tries to hide it, loves you with his whole being! ( ˘ω˘ ) He can a be a bit over the top sometimes but you’ll come to accept it! And hey who wouldn’t want a silly snake demons who’s tripping over their tail for you. Yea you got him in and over his head but he wouldn’t have it any other way. The roles have truly reversed(≖ᴗ≖✿)

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I LOVE HIS SILLY LIL SELF SO MUCH MORE PEOPLE SHOULD WRITE FOR HIM :(. TYSM FOR THE REQUEST I LOVED IT SM!!!! PLEASE COME AGAIN!!

#x reader #deez nuts #hazbin hotel #anon <3 #all genders #main character #x y/n #i hope you like it #hazbin hotel sir pentious #sir pentious #hazbin sir pentious #sir pentious x reader #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x you #silly little guy #ty for coming to my ted talk #thanks anon! #sorry this took so long #i loved writing this #i love him i swear #hes a cutie patootie #please come again! #woooohooooo #ty for the ask <3 #character x reader #x you #x gn reader

[cassketti]

Lost platypus looks like a girl

#candace flynn #candace #deez nuts #perry #perry the platypus #phineas and ferb #fanart #cassketti art

[kirkendauhl-v2]

#sea of thieves #deez nuts

[tyforthevnm]

Anthony: “Thanks for my new weed hat. I’m gonna give it to my child. ‘It’s CBD, honey.’”

Frank: “C-Deez nuts.”

*badum-tss*

Anthony: Sweet, Francis.

#LSDUNESPRAGUE // February 5, 2023

#frank iero #anthony green #ls dunes #lsdunesprague #deez nuts #i can't believe he made a deez nuts joke in the year of our lord #video #rica.archive #february 5 2023 #february 2023 #2023

[go-go-gadget-autism]

frost being cursed to always have to sneeze, be a noir detective, mace takes 1d6 of damage every time he laughs, kremy constantly stubbing his toe, and the group having to finish each others sentences which leads to gideon finishing gricko’s deez nuts joke is such a fucking power combo, i would not be able to hold it together if i was mace

godspeed brother o7

#legends of avantris #once upon a witchlight #gideon coal #kremy lecroux #dnd #morning frost #gricko grimgrin #deez nuts