#cuz sometimes i’m all for being petty but over this?? he’s a child | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yuyuonabeat · 3 days

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I’m gonna cry cuz I had a dream about Ateez. All eight of them present for the first time.

I always have dreams of Ateez, most of the times I dream of Hongjoong or Seonghwa. Even Mingi.

They always seem to look the same.

I love the fact I am always able to see them so clearly as if they were right in front of me. I can hear everything they say, and even feel their touch.

So Hongjoong always had blue hair (like in Inception)

Seonghwa has his current black long bob. (So pretty🥹)

Yunho always has brownish hair.

Yeosang always has black long hair (kind of like he does currently)

San has his buzz cut like in Deja Vu.

Mingi always has his Halazia fire hair color.

Wooyoung always has red hair.

And Jongho has his red hair like in Fireworks.

We were all sitting in a cinema watching some type of movie. But the cinema kind of had couches instead of chairs. I was sitting next to Hongjoong.

In order from left to right we were seated like this.

Some random jock dudes, Me, HJ, SH,WY,MG,San,YH,YS and JH.

I noticed everyone else was watching the movie peacefully but I could see Hongjoong staring at me from my peripheral vision.

I would look at him and always find him smiling at me. I smiled back.

I for some reason picked up his hand and held it against mine and saw he had an upside down cross tatted on his ring finger on his right hand.

(I have one like that in real life only on my lefts hand index finger, the cross has no religious value or meaning I just got it cuz it’s pretty.)

I would gently caress his finger with mine. (In the dream for some reason my upside down cross tattoo was on my ring finger instead)

And I placed my ring finger aside him to compare. He smiled at me and chuckled.

I averted my gaze to Yeosang and Jongho who were for an odd reason sitting on the floor instead of on the couch like the rest of us.

I called out their names and patted the empty seats beside me so they could sit. They both shaked their heads. I pouted feeling a bit confused as to why they would prefer the floor over the comfty couch.

I then looked up to see that Seonghwa was talking to a lady and a man from the row in front of ours. They seemed like a couple. They were speaking in Korean. I remember they said something about “how are you today? Enjoying the movie?” The lady asked Seonghwa.

Seonghwa smiled and nodded. “Yes it’s very nice! How about you?” He asked the lady.

The lady caught me staring and smiled, asking Seonghwa if he knew me. (I wanted to know if the two of them knew each other as well)

“Is this a friend of yours?” The lady asked.

Seonghwa looked at me. Then at the lady.

Felt like he didn’t know what to say until Hongjoong jumped in to say “yeah she’s our friend…more like a close friend of mine actually.” (Now why am I being addressed as a girl this is so confusing and I have no idea, btw half of my dreams are lucid so I just kind of lay on my bed while sleeping but half awake and at this moment I was like “tf did he just call me?” 😂)

The lady looked at me up and down. I was starting to get uncomfortable. Then she said something to Seongwa in Korean that I couldn’t understand (again their whole conversation was in Korean, now I don’t speak the language so I had no idea how I was able to understand part of it. Sometimes they just speak and I can see the Korean romanized words in the air and the meaning under it in English 😐.)

She turned back to the movie screen and I looked over to Seonghwa since I didn’t understand what she had said.

He gulped and looked away, he excused himself to the bathroom and walked away.

Hongjoong grabbed my hand and I was now looking at him. He leaned closer to whisper to me.

“That lady is a friend of Seonghwas mother, she’s been wanting Seonghwa to find a girlfriend all this years. Only that now that Seonghwa is 26…”

He leaned even closer and placed his lips near my ear and whispered.

“She wants Seonghwa to find a petty girl he can have a child with.”

He backed away and looked at me. I was as red as a tomato (I can see myself in 3rd person in my dreams, it’s like watching a movie and every time the character talks they zoom the camera on their faces.)

I was shocked at his words but he placed his hand on my thigh and pat it gently to calm me down.

And I don’t remember anything else cuz my grandma had waken me up to ask me to come out of my room and have lunch. 😔✊

Hongjoong keeps haunting my dreams and it’s always inception blue hair Hongjoong.

I had a dream of him about 7 months ago that was sexual and it felt so real I got scared but craved for more. I knew it was an incubus demon taking in the form of Hongjoong but still I felt so nice.😓

He did come back a month ago to finish what he started since we had only kissed the first time(I could feel his tongue inside my mouth and could taste his saliva, his hands were so soft and his hair as well.)

Anyways that’s all. Been trying to sleep so I can come back to another dream just idk why it’s always Hongjoong that visits me, and he always had blue hair and that smirk on his lips.

Not proof read so I’m sorry for any typos. Btw this is a real dream, this isn’t fiction and I didn’t just make any of it up. I dreamt this today at around 2pm.

#ateez #ateez hard hours #ateez imagines #ateez hongjoong #Ateez dreams #lucid dreaming #vivid dreams #Hongjoong dreams #I need shawty in blue to stop popping up in my dreams like that.#making me feel things

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opluffys · 3 years

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What We Aren’t- Killer x Reader

this took me so long cuz i had no motivation to write it... i fucking love killer but i’m so lazy lol. i hate this but there’s not that many fics for him, so enjoy? idk i’ve been unhappy with my writing for a while ughhh. please enjoy even though it’s bad! *please let me know if something looks off in the writing, sometimes it copies weird!!*

-smut/nsfw-

You sat perched upon your small, uncomfortable office chair, calmly awaiting a very important call. All you had been doing this entire day was waiting, for that damn transponder snail to ring. How long does it take to read over one single paper and respond back?

Being a member of a Supernova's crew meant a lot of injuries, you were no fool, no. You knew the toll it'd take on you as a surgeon to become Kid's ship doctor. One would take a look at you and assume you had enjoyed the challenge, the thrill of getting a new patient under the operating table each hour with something new wrong with them.

No, that was not the case, not at all.

Goodness, you adored being a surgeon, of course! Holding that scalpel and practically slicing people open always made you giddy. A sadistic surgeon, guess that's what people would pinpoint you as. But those were just simple perks of being the ship doctor on the Victoria Punk.

The real treat was the second in command.

Every time you weren't blinded by the lights in the operating room, you would steal glances at the attractive man. How mysterious he was just did wonders for you...

Over the years that you had stayed, you obviously had made advances. You wouldn't say that Killer always had women throwing themselves at him, they must be blind, though. So of course when you hinted that you wanted him in a more, intimate, manner, he at times accepted.

The two of you were not in a relationship, in fact, the two of you had barely exchanged any words to one another. Even though you always treated his wounds with utmost care, and not a word was said. Just a simple thanks and he was on his way.

You didn't care, though. You were not, by any means, looking for a long term relationship. You did not have the time for that, and you probably never would, if you were to continue your role as a surgeon, that was all you could focus on.

You scribbled notes down messily, crossing names out on the list quickly. While you waited for the transponder snail to ring, you decided to doodle a list. It wasn't important, not in the slightest. But you wanted to see how each crew member had gotten injured and where. It wouldn't help, but it was fun to see such a thing.

You heard the door swing open, being caught just in time in order not to bang against the wall. You were about to yell at whoever burst inside in such a way, but then you saw that familiar mass of fluffy blonde hair.

"Well, hello." You said, settling back into the chair, hearing it give a weak squeak in response to any weight put onto it. You really needed to get a new chair.

Killer grunted in response, and a small sigh left your lips. At times, you would question why he wasn't so talkative like the rest of the crew.

You quickly ripped the list that you had made, tossing it in the nearest trash bin you could find. You figured now would be a time to make an actual list you would use, not one that would bring you petty amusement.

"So, what do you need? You don't look injured, and I only do surgeries. So go over to the others if you have a scratch you need checked." You said, scribbling more unreadable words down.

"Since when do you only do surgeries?" You heard an unfamiliar voice pipe in. In question, you rose your head from the notes over to the voice you heard. After seeing a random lackey holding bandages, you scoffed and gave an eye roll.

"Too many on this ship come to me everyday to go under my operating table. You know that? Imagine if I had to take care of everyone else who came to me with a runny nose crying for dear life. I'd go insane." You said, relaxing your skilled hands in your lap, smiling proudly. Of course you would end up helping anyone who wandered into your office regardless. You knew nobody else could take care of anyone like you.

You shooed the young boy out of the office, who smiled in return to your words, not believing a thing, he knew how soft you were.

You groaned loudly, putting your head against the table. Why couldn't you be a mean pirate like your captain? Refusing any with a small bruise on their arm. It's your own damn fault, being too nice to the crew members, acting like their damn mother.

You then returned to take your notes.

"I need painkillers."

You nearly had a heart attack.

"You're gonna fucking end me..!" You gasped, feeling your heart beat quicken.

You calmed down quickly, your heart still beating quite quickly. Not because of how scared you were, but because of who was in front of you.

"Why?"

"I've been feeling a little sore and tense lately." Killer replied, leaning on the wall.

You laughed, bringing your hand to your mouth. "I can give you painkillers for that, but it can easily go away by a simple massage." You said, kicking your legs up onto the table. Hell, it was disrespectful, but it was your office. You could do whatever the fuck you wanted here.

"And I think I could help you out with that." You added, sounding a little suggestive about a simple favour to a friend, if you could call him such a thing.

"I thought you only did surgeries..?" He said, and you could've swore you heard a slight teasing undertone. Sly bastard...

You didn't bother a reply, you did not want to bicker with the man. Especially at a time where just a look at him paired with the sound of his voice would ignite your entire body on fire.

You sauntered over to him, urging him to take a seat. He did so, and you knew your chair couldn't take his mass of muscles for very long.

"Your shirt." You said from your place behind him. You were sure the both of you knew he didn't really need his shirt off. But ugh, that back of his...

You obviously were not a masseuse, but how hard could it be?

You dipped your fingers into his skin lightly, pushing harder when he didn't say anything to put a stop to you.

After around thirty or so minutes, you could've cooked anything with just the temperature of your skin. You were dying to be under the man in front of you, harsh nail markings sporting his sculpted back.

You leaned in a little closer, pressing your lips against the nape of his neck. He immediately stiffened, not being used to such a loving gesture.

"So? How does it feel now?" You questioned, spinning him around to view you.

You took a seat on his thighs, a much better place to be seated than your chair.

"I hope I made you feel at least a little better. It would hurt my reputation if one of my patients left without being helped, even just a bit." You grinned, hands roaming all over his built chest.

His breath hitched as you began to move your hips against him, feeling his hands attach to you.

"Now?" Killer questioned, not seeming to protest against any of your actions.

"Why not? I've been awaiting a call, but it looks like that idiot forgot about it."

It seems as if that were all the affirmation he needed, because soon after you said that, you were pushed harshly against your own desk, a surprised squeak coming from you.

Your garments were ripped off with haste, a lazy smile spread across your reddened lips.

Within seconds, you were just an utter mess. You always questioned how he always knew what your body had craved from him.

He quickly pushed your soaked panties aside, sliding his fingers against your slick folds. You bit your lip to try to prevent any unwanted noise from leaving you, but just the sheer skill he had was too much for you.

Your cheek was against the desk, your mouth slightly agape. Such a lewd face you had made, and all he had done was a little teasing.

"So wet already. What have we done that was exciting?"

You whimpered in response, pushing your hips back in hopes of feeling his fingers, or rather, something else, fill your insides.

You felt his presence flush against your back, "Or maybe," he pushed his fingers inside agonizingly slow, nearly causing your death, "this had been on your mind the entire day?"

Fuck, this man was a master at reading people.

Your hands were balled into fists, nails creating marks on your soft palm. You didn't want to give in, you didn't want to beg, but your mind was beginning to disagree with your pride.

"No. That's not the case..." You gasped, feeling his thick fingers curling inside of you, "Hmm, I don't like liars. But, I do like watching you squirm."

"All you have to do is tell me the truth, come on. I know you can do it." Sick bastard. Fuck him. Yeah, you didn't need him, you could finish yourself off, if needed.

"I already told you," You took a deep breath, feeling him move behind you with ill intentions, "all that I've done today was wait for a call. Then, I'd seen you... My thoughts had run for a little, that's all."

Yeah right! Like he'd believe such a thing! This seems like a child who took something they shouldn't. It wasn't your fault, you weren't working properly. Your mind had become wired on feeling Killer inside of you, and that's what you had needed.

You heard shuffling behind you, followed by the removal of his digits. You grumbled unhappily, was he really hellbent on you admitting something that didn't matter? You were both adults, and adults were supposed to get mad behind closed doors. Yup.

While you had been lost in thought, you felt his tip press against your dripping entrance. Finally! About time! You almost broke out in song you were so happy.

You won this little dispute.

Actually, no. You didn't.

He pushed himself inside rather slowly, cock snug against your velvety walls. You expected him to start moving, or at least do anything. But nope.

Nothing.

"Seriously..." You mumbled, trying to move back into him, obviously he didn't allow this, hands stopping any of your ministrations.

This is fine. You were going to be okay like this. You weren't going to give up. You wanted to be a pirate, so you couldn't just rip your pride to shreds.

You knew he couldn't last longer than you. He would crack eventually, and you would triumph. In this case, it was seen as the opposite.

"You really can't admit it, can you?"

No! You couldn't! It wasn't the truth... Mhm, just keep telling yourself that.

You knew he obviously didn't care, he just loved to see you have an internal meltdown. He would use anything and everything he could against you. You could practically hear the 'teehee' come from the bastard.

He took a seat on your tiny chair, bringing you with him while the chair squeaked in discomfort. Now sitting upright on him, oh this wasn't good for you. You could feel him deeper inside of you and you craved more. You craved sweet friction of any kind.

You squeezed around him tightly, trying to ease him into forgetting about this little feud.

You heard his breathing become slightly uneven after that, you grinned, you had an ace up your sleeve.

"What kind of monster takes teasing to such a level?" You politely asked, slightly raising your hips. He wasn't able to stop you in time as you sank onto him slowly.

He was so heavy inside of you, you couldn't take it anymore. You wanted him to fuck you until your mind stopped working. You just got a little taste of what you could have, and you wanted more, you wanted it all.

"How about we take a rain check on this. I think we're both a little needy today." You smiled, you're such a genius. This way, you didn't lose. No, you won. You wanted to tell him to suck it, but you had boundaries.

"Fine. But next time, don't expect me to give in so easily." He sighed, getting a better grip on your hips.

You turned around briefly, seating yourself back onto him. You always secretly enjoyed being so close to him, hearing his heartbeat in an irregular way. Maybe it was because you were so close. Your face heated up a bit, no, that couldn't be it. You placed you hands on his chest gently, "You can move now." You braced yourself for a second, at times, the two of you had gotten a bit rough. You didn't mind, as long as the both of you enjoyed it, you were happy.

He lifted you slightly, you felt a little empty for a moment but sighed blissfully when you felt him back inside.

This was an odd pace... Almost like he was taking how you felt in consideration. Usually you fucked like animals, but this? This was more of a lovers pace. Even the way he held you, it was gentle, for such a large man you hadn't thought he could hold you in such a way.

Maybe he was still teasing, going at a slower pace than you were used to. You could wait a little, at least he was moving now. Your head made contact with his chest, a slightly more comfortable pose for you.

How awkward for him! Your soft hands at his chest lovingly, your face against him while he slowly pumped inside of you... This is what lovers would do, not people who just wanted a quick session... He almost imagined you looking up at him with teary eyes, mumbling an 'I love you'.

He too, felt his face warm. It was such an uncomfortable feeling for someone who didn't welcome such emotions.

A small part of you somewhat enjoyed this, being next to him like this. You wished you could feel his lips plush against your own at this very moment. You smiled while in thought.

He looked down at you through the holes in his mask, he didn't expect such a serene look on you..! You had been liked this, hadn't you? Holding him while you had sighed and whimpered with want.

He took no time to pull out of you, flip you the other way, so you were, once again, facing the desk. He shoved himself inside, pounding into you at a more wanted rate.

All of this has happened very fast. Literally blink of an eye. You had no time to adjust whatsoever, from a slow and leisurely pace, to harsh snapping of the hips.

The expression on your face was priceless, but also very vulgar. The illusion of lovers was wiped away instantly, meaningless pleasure filling its slot.

Your muscles had stopped supporting you, your body nearly becoming lifeless. You silently depended on Killer to keep your body from not falling off of the desk. You laughed imagining this actually happening.

Your eyes screwed shut while your lips had only been able to form, 'yes yes yes!'. You knew his ego was through the roof right now, having a girl under him screaming for more.

And you were right, spot on, actually.

Again, Killer didn't always have women offering themselves to him. You however, would happily flock to him anytime he felt like he needed to relieve some stress.

He looked down at you again, seeing your greedy cunt swallow his cock with urgency put him in a trance. Fuck you took him too good. It was literally as if you were the missing piece to his life.

The way your insides clenched around his length every single time he moved a single muscle, paired with your small and delicate moans... He felt like he'd break you in an instant at such a pace. But he knew you could take it, he wanted you to take all of him every time the two of you do this.

Tears came out of your closed eyes due to the intensity your body was undergoing. It felt fucking phenomenal to be stretched and filled and body bent while being pushed into the uncomfortable wood of the desk. God, you nearly unraveled right there.

Your grip on the desk tightened, knuckled turning a burning white. You couldn't go on forever, you knew that. But with the earlier teasing, you were going to be finished soon.

"Oh fuck yes... Right there fuck yes!!" You screamed, the feeling of pleasure skyrocket when he brushed against that sweet bundle of nerves inside.

"Right here, huh..?" He hummed, large hand caressing the curve of your ass. You panted and whispered something even you didn't know in response. You were just broken at this point.

You were certainly not prepared for when he continued to slam into that desired spot over, and over, and- oh fuck you couldn't handle this shit.

Your orgasm hit you fucking hard, you felt lifeless. Completely and utterly dead.

Seeing you moan and whimper desperately beneath him was, simply, hot as fuck to Killer. The way your body silently begged for more with every thrust, you lightly convulsing and squeezing him when you had gotten close, and the sudden outburst when you had finished... It just kept replaying in his head over, and over, and- oh fuck he couldn't handle this shit.

A deep grunt left him and he pushed deep inside of you again, a quiet whimper coming from you since you were so sensitive. His tip giving a final kiss to your insides, and finally sealing his hot release in you.

You mumbled incoherently while you struggled to get up, trying to pull on your panties.

"Woah, no need to waste." He grinned, pushing a finger into your entrance, keeping his cum inside.

You lightly fell onto his lap, not knowing he'd still stimulate your exhausted nerves. You turned your head into his hard chest and nearly cried.

"Don't be an asshole..." You muttered lowly, looking up at him, "Someone might come in and see."

"So? Maybe it's a kink of yours..." He replied, voice slightly hinting a mischievous undertone.

You snickered, rolling your eyes. When he wasn't so scary, he was quite pleasant to be around.

"Maybe... We might explore some of your kinks too." You giggled, feeling him stiffen at your response. Usually after sex the two of you would go separate ways. You would never bask in the afterglow with him, at least not this long. Talking so casually, too.

You were scared at what the two of you shouldn't become. This was a dangerous life, you couldn't get attached.

And finally the fucking phone rang.

It was as you hadn't just had the best sex of your life, finally this idiot had done what you asked. Who the hell knows why it took him so long.

"Yes? Hello?" You answered, getting off of your comfortable seat, which had been Killer, and leant against the desk.

"What a fucking view..." He mumbled to himself. It seemed that you had forgotten to put your garments on, just how important was this call?

You faked a laugh, this fucker said he went to the wrong island. How. How did that happen..? You would be sure to give him hell when he came back.

"It's okay! It's okay, I'm not mad!" Yeah, you're fucking seething. He was lucky you got remarkable sex out of this.

"Yes, please tell me how much they want for it? Also don't forget to try to swindle them for it, okay? I know you're a shy bastard but you can do it!" You said into the phone. He better get your herbs. You need these stupid little fucking plants or else you couldn't make your medicine.

"Holy shit, that's a lot of money... Well can you try-"

Oh he did not just.

While you were on the phone.

Your assistant constantly asked if you were okay, a shaky answer leaving your red lips.

"Hold on a second sweetie." You said calmly into the phone, acting like you didn't once again, have a huge cock deep inside of you.

"While I'm talking to someone? You couldn't fucking wait?" You whispered, bending slightly. This man had no shame, he wanted you to take it all, clearly.

"Let's see how quiet you can be." He retorted, not even acting like he'd done anything wrong. "Fine, just don't move too much. I don't want anyone on the other line figuring out that we're doing something so scandalous... It's quite rude to do so on the phone." You sighed, removing your hand off of the receiver.

You actually held up quite well, rocking side to side a bit while holding a normal conversation with the shop keeper, haggling about a price. You were so proud of yourself!

“No, put the price lower that’s way too... Too, ah..! Oh fuck..!” You yelled, feeling his large thumb rub harsh circles into your clit. Now everyone knew what you were doing, fucking great.

“Aww, and you were doing so well.” He chuckled, watching you shake under him. You didn’t bother saying anything back to him, too far gone in your own pleasure to care.

How embarrassing... You could try to cover this up, but you don’t know if that would end up well...

“Yes, yes I’m fine... Just stubbed my toe...” You laughed nervously, biting your lip not to let any unwanted noises out.

“How sly.” He smiled, hidden admiration in his voice. You gave him a quick middle finger, cursing at him a couple of times.

“Yeah thanks sweetheart. I’m gonna hang up now okay? Yeah, bye bye.” You spoke, not even hearing anything your assistant had said. You were focused on feeling another great climax, and certainly didn’t care about the price of the plant any longer.

“You’re so fucking wet...”

“Yeah, I wonder why.” Cue the eye roll, “I guess I was right? This is one of your kinks, isn’t it?” He grinned, pushing his cock deeper inside of your warm walls.

“You gonna finish inside of me without warning again?” You muttered, exhaling a shaky breath.

“Only if you want it babe.”

Oh. Oh he had called you babe. Names like those? Oh fuck now you were gonna get attached, and... And...

And maybe that’s okay.

“Fill me up.” You moaned, letting out a gasp of his name that you had chanted like a prayer.

You sure as hell didn’t need to tell him twice.

•Bonus•

“Hey,” You looked up at Killer, hugging him under the sheets, “I think I like you.” You sighed, worried for his answer. You had a feeling the worst thing that could happen was a simple no, but hopefully you wouldn’t lose the sex.

He took his warm hands off of you, which you took as a no towards your earlier statement. You felt a tinge of embarrassment, but since you were so tired, you also didn’t care.

He lifted his mask just so his painted lips were shown, he quickly captured your lips in his own and you felt the sparks fly. You initially thought that it was just sexual, but during the day when you had thought of him, goodness, you were oblivious to your own feelings.

“Really now? You’re not just using me for the sex, are you?” He whispered, voice husky and deep in your ear. You reached to scratch his goatee lightly, “Who knows.” You pressed your lips against his once again, sitting upwards and quickly growing hot. Who knew a make out session would be this hot? The mans got mystery, that’s some extra points right there.

“I think I like you too.”

#one piece x reader #one piece smut #one piece killer #one piece #fanfic #smut #killer x reader

190 notes · View notes

heybeybey · 3 years

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Jealous Levi & Jealous Petra headcanons ??

*cracks knuckles* boy do i have a lot in store for you

Jealous Levi

I really think how Levi treats love and relationships are a bit effed up cuz: 1) He was abandoned as a child and 2) He grew up fighting for every single thing he owned.

I think this will reflect in his relationships and that he’ll be the type who seems chill and unaffected on the outside but steaming in anger on the inside when someone tries to flirt with Petra or try to steal Petra from him (lol i pray for their soul tho)

I’m pretty sure he’s the type who’d be borderline possessive at times because, again, he had to fight for and protect what he had while he was in the Underground.

Whenever someone tries to flirt w/Petra and she unknowingly reciprocates, he’d probably feel that maybe he’s doing something wrong and his mind goes from 0 to 200 and starts thinking that he’ll get abandoned again since he’s not good enough (thanks a lot kenny)

The guy is also canonically unattractive and Isayama said he’s a 2/10. In their world, his looks are probably mediocre at best (and we’ve never met anyone who showed attraction towards Levi, which only further supports this)

I think his looks might also play into his insecurity that Petra is more than capable to find someone better.

So yeah, basically a mix of 30% insecurity and 70% anger when he’s jealous

He’s not really the type who’d rage around and scream “this is my girl how dare u touch her” (in canonverse)

In modernverse, he’ll be the type who walks towards Petra when someone’s flirting with her and hooks his arm around her in front of the other guy. He doesn’t say anything, just... stands there next to Petra until the other guy’s uncomfortable enough and hesitantly leaves.

But he does glare at those who looks at Petra the wrong way.

And those peeps would be scrambling away and Petra would just be confused why. Petra would probably think she did something wrong

He has the tendency to be violent when jealousy strikes but only in extreme cases (someone trying to kiss Petra or sleep with Petra)

If it’s something that he knows deep down is petty, he’d just ball his fist or slam a cup way too hard or slam the door

Hahaha one time he got jealous of Erwin. We all know Petra’s nice to everyone and it just happened that during this time, Petra needed to spend more time with Erwin behind closed doors (paperwork idk).

Levi was so suspicious the whole day because he also knows how Erwin can be manipulative. He’d glare at Erwin so hard, get ruder and harsher than usual. When they train, he’d basically slice off the whole titan dummy especially when Erwin was surveying their performance.

All’s good though. They’re still best bros...

But Levi demanded that Erwin’s time with Petra needs to be pre-approved by him first since he is her captain.

Petra was offended and had to stop herself from slapping Levi after that.

Jealous Petra

Yo our bby girl is sometimes a tad bit too kind that she thinks the other girl is just being nice to Levi. She’d probably try to befriend the other woman and they’d fangirl over the captain.

She’ll eventually feel that something’s wrong and that the other girl has different intentions soon enough and that’s when she’d constantly be on guard.

Probably would go as far as follow Levi around because “the captain might need me.”

But in reality, Petra’s keeping an eye out on this bish who’s out to steal her man.

She won’t do any physical harm UNLESS Levi starts getting harassed or Levi’s already saying no and the other girl is way too persistent.

I think if someone just has a crush on Levi, that’s alright with her. She doesn’t get jealous over that. He’s famous, after all.

Only when she notices that they’re making moves to sleep with him or kiss him or something, that’s when our girl gets violent.

has a Must Protect Captain At All Costs mode

She’d cutely steam in anger or probably pout once in a while if someone gives gifts to Levi and it’s apparent they’re out for him romantically but again, nothing too drastic.

Okay HC story I just thought of: One day, Levi unknowingly caught the attention of a noble and the woman asked Commander Erwin that she’d back up the SC if Levi spends the night with her

YO PETRA FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS and before Levi can tell Erwin to tell the noblewoman to fuck off, Petra barged into the commander’s office and starts telling Erwin what to do. How Levi isn’t some plaything they can pass around. How he can write a letter back to the woman and say she can shove it.

Actually, no. She grabbed the paper from Erwin and she started writing the reply herself.

#rivetra #petra ral #petra rall #levi ackerman #rivapeto #levitra #aot petra #aot levi #levi x petra

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drabbles-of-writing · 3 years

Text

Reverse Au! Dump

Don’t mind my idea dumping here. Brain decided to have fun while I was at work and I have too many wips as it is, so… Thought I’d ask before I dumped, experience. Used morningmark’s comics as a base, so if you want reference. Now this isn’t all that well compiled, but here it goes.

Magic in the Other World is varied as it is crazy. So many styles over the generations and not a lot of organization. There are some that try to categorize it all, but that works as well as you’d expect. Some were lost, some erased, some weren’t passed down/recorded because “the power is all mine! Ahahaha!” It took a lot of time and collaboration, but eventually a sort of system was installed to help out. Still a lot of work to do, but its a step forward. Nowadays the term Wild Magic is generally reserved for those that aren’t all that well documented and understood.

Some Magics are very powerful and desirable, but also tend to be very high risk/high reward, kinda pass/fail, pretty literally Do or Die most times. So not a lot of people can use those or are even willing to. Story says this one guy named Odin hung himself on a massive tree by his own spear for nine days, no food water or rest in constant pain before he could unlock the secret of Runes. But it’s also said he gouged out his own eye to drink from the Well of Wisdom so…

There are lots of different ways to channel magic too: wands, staves, jewelry, certain gems, familiars, potions, enchanted armaments, chants, scripts, etc. Each tool has its own advantages and disadvantages and play into a Witches’ style. Every Witch has at least two methods of spellcasting. Only children have one. Haven’t thought of how Luz gets her Palisman though. Maybe its one of those magic Artifacts like Dr. Strange’s cloak, Elder Wand, Thor’s hammer, or a Green Lantern’s Ring. Something that can’t be recreated because the secret is lost, materials no longer exist, too hard/dangerous to make, accident that can’t be recreated, etc. Happens more often than people like.

Camilla is sometimes called the Blue Witch. She’s a healer by heart and trade, but push her and she will become a one Witch Battleship. Bismark who? Aaaaand she just deleted a whole battalion. And the fortress behind them. Hide me. There are the very rare occasions, like count on one hand rare, when someone near and dear to her heart is in trouble that she takes up her other job. She’s especially terrifying when she decides to torture, those who know how to heal the body know best how to break it. Many shades of Blue, some are very close to Black. She doesn’t necessarily hate Humans exactly, but doesn’t have the highest of regard from past experiences.

Luz has training and is a proficient Witch for her age. Camilla and her father were adamant about having a general knowledge/skillset alongside her specialized skill. Jack of all trades and a master of none, still better than a master of one. She has gone through the system for her magic with varying success. Oracle magic? Zero talent. Bard classes? She can play an instrument, but can’t sing at the same time. When she does sing she tires too hard and messes up. It’s only when she doesn’t try, like absently singing along with a song or playing by her heart, that she’s good at it. Beasts? Can use them, but would rather play with them. Bleeding heart and all that. She does have a good handle on healing magic partly due to Camilla drilling necessary skills into her and partly osmosis. Her father arranged for some CQC lessons from an old friend of his which the girl loved. You get the idea. It wasn’t until she discovered Glyphs that she found her niche and her skills took off. Glyphs are one of those ‘eccentric’ or 'archaic’ styles since they haven’t been used in so long after being lost and are barely understood. She still has a long way to go, but she is on her way.

Luz never really had much in the way of friends, partly cuz of high profile parents which leads to certain pressures and a target on her head, partly because of her magic style and personality, and partly because of the trouble been going on. Luz grew up her whole life with this tension of a group of anarchists trying to burn society that’s just trying to do the right thing. The anarchists started small, but have been a growing problem the past few decades with talk how to 'reshape the world’ in not a good way. Anyone with critical thinking skills can tell this is a bad idea, but they are too brainwashed to notice. They harass anyone who doesn’t follow their rhetoric and attack anyone who even questions them. Luz’s parents put a real kink in a lot of their plans for years, which makes Luz guilty by association.

Luz got caught in one of those sudden larger scuffles and was accidentally chucked/blown through a portal created by an attempted tactical retreat that went off course. Hence why she can’t go home because she hasn’t learned how to do portals yet. Those are high level anyway so how did these guys pull it off so easily? Luz has a hard time blending in obviously. Learning how to use a phone was a fun endeavor. Internet was a trip. Luz is amazed how these people can do all this cool stuff without magic. Keep a low profile sure, she can pass off as a weird out of town kid. Keep the beanie on, underperform in gym and stuff because some things don’t change, like genetics. Someone sharp eyed will see discrepancies. The Beanie has a small Glamor spell built in that covers her witchy traits but she forgot the ears which is why it sits like it does. Luz can erase memories in case she has an accident, but it’s less of a 'remove my face from this picture with a scalpel’, and more of a 'lemme just hack off the past hour or three from your brain with an axe.’ If she tries to take any more then she starts burning into some more dangerous territory and those Wiped are groggy and disoriented for a while after already. Then the magic attacks start happening and her heroic instinct/anti-bystander complex kicks in and there goes that. It runs in the family so Camilla isn’t surprised in the slightest when she finds out.

“Oh titan, why did you curse me with another me?” “I’m right here Mami!”

Eda has a shack very akin to Grunkle Stan. Lots of junk that Lilith can’t believe that people are dumb enough to buy. She’s also involved in some not so legal dealings on the side. Well, Eda isn’t actually hurting anybody and the tax dollars she should be paying would only go towards some politicians’ next yacht or another pointless overseas 'investment’ instead of where it’s supposed to go so. Eda does give some good intel on occasion and a place to vent so Lillith overlooks her. Lil’s more of the secret police for witches and a petty crook isn’t part of her job anyway. Eda understands Luz’s predicament and is willing to help. The cover story is that Camilla work in hospitals and has to work crazy hours while her dad passed away so is living with Eda for a while. King is that kind of critter that grew up weird and acts like ten different animals all the time.

Gus is the nerdy kid who infodumps on everybody, even if they’re not listening. Loves anything fantasy/sci-fi related and plays Minecraft too. A good kid at heart, but needs some social skills. Keep him away from anything more sugary than tea. Luz learned a lot listening to him. Not all of it is entirely useful, but still. Some of his ramblings give her some good ideas for magic and stuff, like putting Glyphs on cards.

The Blights are the cool rich kids obviously, and have some discipline and social issues. Big family name makes them intimidating for normies and a meal ticket for the unsavory. These kids need real friends. They decided to act out to get some attention from the parents who then decided to ignore them. “If you’re going to act like a child tantrum, get treated like one.” Ed is perfect for Drama classes, if he were allowed to partake. Can’t decide what Em is great at, hacking perhaps? Amity’s car is an inheritance from the only family to treat her as such Twins aside, even if she’s too young to remember it. She only remembers that she has feelings surrounding the car. All three of them were pretty impressed with Luz for standing up to them, calling them out on their shit, and not giving a crap about their family name. Being treated like a normal person is pretty weird. Can we get her to do that again?

Amity tried dating Boscha once, didn’t work out very well. Boscha is still hurting over Amity’s comment of “I’d rather go date the new weird kid (Luz) than go back to you.” It’s one of the reasons she goes after Luz. She has that kind of Bud personality from Spider Man, feels lesser and so acts out so much.

“Wow, this new Witch is amazing. Not as cool as the original Witch.”

“What is it with the Witch with you?”

“Oh, she’s a hero. Looks out for the city and the little guy. She inspires me. Makes me want to be a bigger person. *sees Luz* What’s up Luz-er?”

And that’s what I got right now. I know there was more, but it’s lost to the void right now. Might come back later, maybe not. Lemme know what you think.

............

DAMN you weren’t lying when you said you had an info-dump this is *chefs kiss* you got me intrigued now

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sayosdreams · 2 years

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POV: I was supposed to write a little one paragraph rant abt this idea I had but then it became longer.

I just had the BEST idea for some super adorable Teddy Lupin angst 🥺♥️ ahhh it would star Tonks as a icon who’ll teach Teddy abt gender identity and sexuality (cuz I mean I feel like gender identity is complicated enough as it is but when you’re a metamorphmagus, it’s like a million times more complicated) and then Remus and Sirius will start dating cuz Remus and Tonks are divorced. I haven’t decided yet if Remus is gay or not but if Remus is gay it’s gonna be SUPER angsty but in a background way cuz of the internalized homophobia that lead him to marry tonks and tonks feeling used but Teddy’s a kid and Tonks is an amazing parent so she won’t tell Teddy all of this stuff. Anyway Teddy is mad cuz Sirius is “taking” his dad and also Teddy is NOT a werewolf but I think he’ll have little symptoms like maybe he gets some muscle pain or smth around the full moon but his dad doesn’t know

I’m debating whether Teddy should be like 7, 8, 10, or a teenager. But if I do make him a teen, then I’ll have to include his shitty mental health (sorry I decided that’s a mandatory part of being a teenager in my fic) but I’ll get to explore his sexuality 🤔 anyway yeah I want Teddy to be kinda moody and just argue / ignore his dad more and more and then Remus doesn’t realize that its bc of Sirius cuz Remus has low self esteem and bc communication between dads and kids isn’t always the best

The endgame will be Teddy/Victoire but Teddy is def not gonna be straight (I think maybe he’ll be bi / pan and I haven’t decided if I want to make him be nb or not. Tonks will use she/they pronouns but only a bit after the divorce bc… it’s complicated.) anyway Teddy and Victoire are gonna be friends since they were kids but they’ll date other people first before they end up together.

Sirius is trying to get to know Teddy and Teddy is annoyed at his dad inviting Sirius over all the time so Teddy is like “ok imma go to Victoire’s house” and later Sirius sees a picture of Vic / it comes up in convo that Vic is part Veela and makes a comment like “atta boy” or “damn, she’s gonna be a heartbreaker huh” or smth else like that (Sirius is gay btw) and Teddy is gonna be SO PISSED like how fucking dare u objectify her, she’s a CHILD, and her heritage doesn��t mean she wants to be subjected to the fucking male gaze!!!! Anyway he won’t say everything but he’ll be mad and be like no. And Sirius will just laugh him off and in that moment Teddy will decide that he DESPISES Sirius 💕 he already didn’t like him for dating his dad, but now he hates him. Also Teddy is petty like me and is like fine imma go to my room 😤 when Remus and Sirius are being super annoying and before Remus used to go check on Teddy when Teddy went to his room annoyed (or Teddy would come down later and Remus would be waiting for him and they’d reconcile and have hot chocolate together) but now Remus is just talking to Sirius downstairs and Teddy’s like he doesn’t care abt me 😭😭😭 and cries into his pillow and then morphs the redness away and then he’s annoyed that his dad can’t tell that he was crying

Meanwhile remus is wondering why Teddy is acting the way he is but chalks it up to him getting older / starting to become a teen (again, idk how old he is. I feel like make 9 or 10? He could be a preteen cuz that might fit best with the storyline but also I don’t want him to be at Hogwarts all the time yk, that comes later) and Remus is sad that he doesn’t think Teddy talks to him as much anymore. He pretends it doesn’t hurt when one day Teddy says that he wants to go back to his mom’s place in the middle of a week he was supposed to spend with Remus

Teddy just feels like he’s losing his dad, and sometimes he wants to say smth but then he hears his dad downstairs, laughing with Sirius, and Remus just sounds so happy that Teddy feels shitty begrudging him that happiness. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel what he feels. So no, Teddy doesn’t want them to break up anymore but he can’t stand watching his dad slip away. Because he feels like his dad doesn’t love him anymore. Or maybe he does, but once upon a time, his priority was Teddy. Now, he loves Sirius more. And that’s okay, Teddy thinks, wiping his tears away. It’s okay because Sirius makes his dad so happy and his dad never used to smile so wide. Teddy can’t make his dad that happy. He feels his dad would choose Sirius over him, so he doesn’t want to make him chose.

But he can’t stop crying and he’s tired and being at his dad’s place isn’t fun anymore because there’s no more hot chocolate and reading together quietly and talking about everything as they cook together and eat together. No, now it’s just Teddy sitting quietly while his dad and Sirius talk about stupid grown up stuff that Teddy doesn’t care about. It’s not that Teddy doesn’t understand what they’re talking about, he does, it’s just boring, because who cares about Wizengamot or Dumbledore or whatever? He just wanted to tell his dad about the science project he did last week, about the bit of accidental magic he’d done when he was over at Grandma Andy’s house, about the way he’d learned to braid Niki’s hair. But no, Sirius and Remus were talking about some “Marlene McKinnon” or whatever her name was. Teddy honestly couldn’t care less.

He can’t keep asking to go to his friends’ house after school every time he’s at his dad’s, he knows it. He hates asking his dad to drive or fly him there because then Sirius wants to tag along, or even if Sirius isn’t there his dad will make comments like “oh that’s the bakery Sirius recommended” and it takes all of Teddy’s power to keep his mouth shut.

He asks to go back to his mom’s place, and Dad calls his mom and Teddy is hoping that his mom will say yes — and she does! Dad agrees to take him back. The drive over is silent until he asks Teddy if everything’s okay and for a second Teddy wants to burst into tears and tell him everything. But no, Teddy isn’t going to be that selfish and childish. He just nods, and the moment passes.

When Teddy gets to his mom’s house, she seems a little worried but she just smiles and hugs him. Later, Teddy’s in his room, crying — maybe he should have stayed at his dad’s place and tried to spend as much time as he could with his dad before his dad decided he didn’t want to see Teddy anymore. Tonks walks in on Teddy crying and is so concerned. Teddy tries to say he’s fine but it’s clearly not convincing his mom, not with the sobs and the big tears rolling down his face. He makes her swear not to tell his dad and then it spills out of him. Tonks hugs him and comforts him. Later, they tell him that he should try to talk to his dad, but Teddy just says no, and Tonks sighs, conflicted.

At another (maybe earlier??) point in the story tonks will come home / come pick up Teddy even tho she had smth to do (like maybe w a friend or at work) and even tho they don’t tell Teddy, Teddy overhears and when Teddy makes a comment like “sorry I make u skip ___” she’s like no don’t be silly, u always come first and Teddy is crying and he’s like okay at least my mom won’t leave me 😭♥️

Also tonks is demiromantic in this. She good friends with Charlie, who is ace, and if this takes place when Teddy is a little older (ie above the age of 10) then this fic will also include Teddy’s sexuality crisis 😝 I haven’t decided yet if tonks would have a love interest in this. If they do, it’ll be someone who they’ve been close friends with for a long time and that Teddy already knows rly well (not Charlie tho). And Tonks is super worried abt how Teddy will take it but Teddy is surprisingly okay with it?? It’ll also happen at least a year (or two) after Remus/Sirius start dating so Teddy will be a bit older, and also the dynamic will be different cuz Teddy already knows Tonks’ partner rly well. And that will also lowkey annoy Remus cuz Remus is like??? Why is Teddy so antagonistic towards my bf but not Tonks’

Also at some point Teddy will either be friends w someone or be dating a guy and will mention the person and Remus either won’t know who they are or won’t know they’re dating and then will find out and be like :((( i wish my son would tell me things

If Harry is Teddy’s godfather in this, then maybe Remus and Sirius start dating around the time James Sirius Potter is born so Teddy going through a lot of stuff which is partially why he reacts so badly?? Idk

Oh also Sirius and Tonks are NOT related in this lmao

Also Sirius makes a comment about Hogwarts houses and Teddy just gives him the death stare like “My grandma was a Slytherin” and Sirius quickly tries to backtrack like “oh umm Slytherin isn’t that bad!! They’re, uh, ambitious and stuff!! they’re better than Hufflepuff??” And then Teddy’s face looks thunderous and he’s just like “my mom is a hufflepuff” and turns and leaves the room and Sirius is just like fuck I keep messing up, this kids absolutely hates me huh

Also cue cringey attempts of Sirius thinking he’s relatable and a Cool Uncle when rly Teddy just wants Sirius to leave him alone and let him read

What house should Teddy be in??? Personally headcanons of him for me usually have him in either Gryffindor or Hufflepuff but I feel like purely out of spite he wouldn’t be in Gryffindor so maybe Ravenclaw?? Idk

Victoire is obv a Ravenclaw ✨

Anyway yeah obv at some point Teddy and Remus will reconcile and then later he’ll kinda bond with Sirius but !!! THE ANGST! THE DRAMA ✨♥️

Fuck now I rly wanna write this

#so yeah lmk if you'd be interested #will I ever actually write this???#no idea #I guess we'll just have to wait and see #u might be thinking 'u have so many ideas; just turn it into a fic'#no u don't understand I have like a super planned out outline for a fic #and coming from me that's so rare cuz most of my stuff is just on the spot writing #anyway I literally have like a 3 page single spaced outline for this James Sirius potter/lys scamander fic in which lys is a trans girl #but have I written it?? no #it just lives rent free in my mind #duh rent free cuz there aint no capitalism in my brain #jk they're all fighting for my tiny attention span #random fic ideas for later #sayosdreams

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slashingdisneypasta · 4 years

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Requests are opened? NOW'S MY CHANCE!! *jumps into ask box* So, since pretty much everyone in CP Universe portraits Splendor as super innocent and sweet, I was wondering what happens when he gets seriously pissed of? And I don't mean mad at some random person for hurting a child or animal or even his brother(s). I mean mad AT his brothers! What's the reason he would get pissed and what happens? Either headcanons or story is fine..

I went with headcanons cuz ‘When in doubt’ (And I’m always in doubt) so I hope thats okay!! ^^ The gif is how he feels on the inside and honestly I feel that.

~~~

· Okay, I was gonna go into detail on how he gets mad and what makes it so intense when he does but I’m going to focus on your actual question, haha. I think of course, he gets frustrated and mad- he just knows he needs to discuss his issues with his brothers in a healthy way. Buuuuuut, it is up to them whether this method actually works, because it wont work if they don’t give back and talk to him as well.

· Things that make him frustrated and mad:

· Offender – Obviously, the terrible things he does to people, but more so his perpetual attitude about those things and everything else because Splender may not see with his own face what happens but he definitely feels the ‘tude and confidence that carries over to everything else Offender does. Even just talk! Offender doesn’t care about the aftereffects or anything like that, it’s just entertainment for him (An obsession. It makes him feel powerful and different), and it genuinely makes Splender sick sometimes. To his stomach.

· He raised this monster- what did he do wrong?? Didn’t he love him enough? Did he teach something the wrong way and Offender took this from it?

· Splender knows it’s not really his fault, because Offender’s a grown adult and can control his own actions, but the times he watches Offender talk and say something particularly revealing, or grin at something awful, and it really hits Splender??

· He has to leave before he screams, and his frustrations and horror turn into water coming out of every hole in his face. The skin of his eyes moisten, becoming drops of water and then waterfalls of tears and his mouth rips open waters and he holds his knees to his chest, trying to be small.

· Because talking to Offender wont help. Just thinking about it frustrates him even more. He’s tried it a million times and Offender never changes, and Splender never gives up on him and never leaves- it’s honestly like two mountains trying to persuade the other to be a river, so they’re at a stalemate. And all Splender can do is hold himself together, literally, so tightly his fingers rub the material of his pants against his chins and it hurts.

· Slender – Same deal here, except Slender’s even more infuriating and stubborn then Offender. Offender will at least sit down with Splender and appease him by talking back (Even if he does just say he’s not going to change), but Slender will literally just leave if Splender says he wants to talk. Like “Oh, look at the time, its ‘Be anywhere but here’ time. Goodbye.” And teleport away, leaving Splender to stew in his own frustrations.

· Which turns them into fury.

· Generally, what Slender gets up to (Mostly hating everything that moves and heartlessly killing children, teenagers and adults) sickens him way less then Offender’s shit because, plainly, he’s become used to murder being around him all the time at this point. That doesn’t mean he accepts it by any means, but it does mean he’s less hard on himself where Slender is concerned and his anger doesn’t turn into tears. He’s just pissed.

· Generally, when this happen’s he just has to go somewhere away from civilisation and take his anger out on a pile of tan bark or a broken fridge (Uh, multiple broken fridges. Large safes, as well), then watch some wholesome videos of children getting adopted by loving families and go to sleep. Maybe take some time away from Slender for a breather until he feels in control of himself again.

· Trender – Finally! Relief! Trender a god boy and will actually listen to Splender and say sorry if he comes to the conclusion that what he’s done really was wrong. Even if he does stand by what he’s done, he’ll be sorry that he made Splender uncomfortable and try to make it up to him. Its pretty straight forward when Splender gets mad at Trender. He appreciates just that Trender listens and makes and effort to understand. Fills him up with fuzzy warm happy feelings towards this brother! Haha. Not to say he doesn’t love Slender and Offender as well.

· Things Trender can do that end up with them talking and having a healthy conversation to help Splender’s feel better have, in the past, included leaving for months to years without telling Splender where he was going to be, taking his own frustrations out on Splender even though Splender was out the reason for them, killing a person or two (I mean, they’ve been alive thousands of years. Even Trender and Splender have killed people before), etc. That’s all I can think of right now XD

· (Of course, they all anger him in little, petty ways too like stealing his food and randomly adopting too many traumatised little teenagers but that doesn’t piss him off at all. Just exasperates him and earns them a facepalm or berating XD )

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zeldary · 4 years

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AHHI JUST SAW UR FE TRANS HCS POST.... U saif some have hints could u tell me the hints(sorry im really intrigued!! I'm trans too so)

Ahhh thanks for the ask dear!

I’ll try to list some of the reasons, though keep in mind some are pure headcanon! Some include spoilers so I’ll go game-by-game, from oldest-to-newest

Fire emblem Gaiden/ Fire emblem echoes: Shadows of Valentia

Saber - Agender: As my friend put it best: Saber lost his gender on a mission and never cared to go look for it. I just think he’s agender, all jokes aside, no much reasoning here!

Sonya - Trans lady: Sonya reveals that her two sisters were turned witches while she was sent away, as a kid. I like to think it’s because her father didn’t know at the time she was a girl. She’s also got great style and she’s a queen, and all trans women are queens, baby.

Genny - Trans non-binary girl: I like to see Genny as enby simply cuz non-binary people aren’t all androgynous. She’s also a super cute character and I love to think about Sonya and her bonding over being transfemmes because their friendships is super cute!

Celica - trans lady: Not in the original post but I’m adding it out of spite; Celica is trans and a wonderful character :)

Fire emblem Path of Radiance / Radiant dawn

Ike - Gay: i know you were referring to trans characters, but since he was included in the post, I decided to include him too. Basically; shows 0 interest in women, only has a platonic relationship with Elincia(?green haired lady), and that shopkeeper whos horny for him doesn’t interest him at all. However, he has two possible “bro” endings, where he elopes with a dude, with Ranulf and Soren! (Some might think it’s a reach, no way there could be a gay character, but keep in mind Jenny, in those games, is canonically a lesbian!)

Soren - Trans man: I just want to preface this by saying that when I discovered those games I was just learning about LGBTQIA+ issues, and some of my reasoning might not be that good, but here goes: the first playthrough I watched, Soren was constantly mistaken for a girl by the guy playing the game. He’s also (spoiler alert!) half beorc, half laguz, and i felt his treatment of society could be very relatable for trans people. There is also the fact that Ike has a great great great grandchild in Awakening, whom I think is also Soren’s (I like to think their paired ending is canonical), so Ike is still gay, he was just able to have a kid biologically with Soren :)

Fire emblem Fates

Forrest - Non-binary: I feel this is a touchy one: on one hand, people tend to see this character as just a gender-non-conforming boy, and I think a lot of people like him as is, and some might feel represented. On the other, Ive seen some NB people say his presentation and character reminds them of themselves. I also feel his struggle with his father is something a lot of us can relate to. As a non-binary person, while I respect any headcanon for him, I tend to fall for the latter. Also I’m starving for rep lol.

Fire emblem three houses

Byleth - Non-binary: Because I said so. (Nah just kidding the real reason is; everyone uses “they/them” for them anyway and I’m non-binary and playing them and they’re MY avatar. Ergo: they enby :3)

Leonie - Trans woman: When it comes to leonie, I just feel she’s trans, due to constantly having to remind people that she /is/ a girl. That’s a sentiment a lot of trans people share: just having people like “but... you don’t look like one lawl”. I also love the idea of trans girl leonie still being a bit of a tomboy, GNC trans people for the win lol (I also like to think her post timeskip design being pretty different is after 5 years of magic HRT lol)

Yuri - Non-binary: So basically i got super excited seeing the trailers seeing an androgynous character, thinking “THIS IS IT!! FINALLY!! NB REP!!!” But nah. Again you could make the same case as Forrest but I was just so excited,only to be so disappointed, I stick to my guns on that one, as I’m very petty. Yuri also got great style and not to brag but I feel we Enbies do have great style.

Bernadetta - Non-binary: I saw a shitty meme using her once to mock non-binary people, so I decided to have her be enby. Also I related hard to that character.

Dorothea - trans lady: Same as Sonya tbh: she’s majestic. But also: I find it interesting that (slight spoiler ahead) she was thrown in the streets as a child. I know it’s gross, /but/ I think it’s brought up in the game that sometime,s daughters were given away for money: my question is; why not give Dorothea away? Ferdinand’s support shows she was already beautiful when she was young. My answer: her father didn’t know she was a daughter. It also explain why, years later, he did not recognize her.

Manuela - Trans lady: My headcanon for Manuela is kind of an extension of Dorothea’s. I /Love/ the Idea of Manuella being Dorothea’s trans Icon, someone to admire both for her talent and for what she might have gone through. I also love the idea of Manuela seeing a /lot/ of herself in Dorothea, and thus making her her protégée at the opera. Just trans ladies helping each other Bruh.

Dimitri - Trans man: buckle up I kept one of the best for last. (Spoilers ahead!) First of all, his support with Catherine reveals he was very “feminine” as a kid, so much so that Catherine thought he was a girl. Fast forward, as a teen he’s very nice, a trait commonly shared by trans men. What makes me believe he’s trans most is the fact that as an adult, he does not have a beard. This might seem minor, but knowing his father had a lovely one, I find if weird that he does not, especially since we can assume he wouldn’t shave it since he looks...like... /that/, post-timeskip. I think he just has difficulty growing one, Dimitri is trans, change my mind.

So yeah my proof is circumstantial hope u still like it lol, thanks again for the ask anon!

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #Dimitri fe #dorothea arnault #dorothea fe #manuela fe #bernadetta fe #yuri fe #sonya fe #genny fe #saber fe #ike fe #soren fe #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #trans hc #nb hc #my stuff

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panickypeachboy · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; MUN & MUSE - MEME.

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

TAGGED BY: @sternenteile, #1 Geno fan. TAGGING: Do it.

MY MUSE IS: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ Nope. Most people just call ZPiW the game with anime girls wielding guns. Outside of me, not much fanart is produced of the peach boy, as it’s well, mostly the girls. Miiverse revealed that the ratio is a bit more even but still, peeps really like them girl designs (designed by a female artist) ]

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ i mean ?? i’ve met and seen many people who have/had crushes on geno so ??????? but i don’t think it’s like. that. ghfskjhgsg??? ]

is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK. [ Personally, I have to say yes. Momotaro is strong as frick because in game, you’re supposed to level towns to “clean them up”. And this is in addition to the traditional Momotaro folktale that, a Momotaro is a strong child who can lift. However, most just look to Snow White as the strongest cuz she dented metal bare handed...and well is the “face” of the game.]

are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ This game is better known for having girls...with guns. But I wouldn’t say he’s really *that* underrated, considering the basic character is just that...basic. ]

were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO. [ Well, my theory is that he just stumbled upon the fight between survivors and zombies so...kind of yes? Momotaro was one to actually gather folks to storm the castle as they say, because it seems before hand the other heroes were just minding their own business. So, being the one who talks the most (ironically) and the one that the game follows...yeah he’s relevant.]

were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Sadly so, in the sense that I wished the devs would’ve allowed for branching plots depending on which character you choose. This is including the fact that the game is purposely trying to emulate how old-school games were bare bones in characterizations and plot.]

are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ Just another folklore hero in the world of Wonderland...a place chock FULL of fairy tales and folktales. Though he might’ve garnered a reputation of being destructive after ZPiW... ]

how’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / neutral. [ ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? — Ehhhh...I think I make do with what I got from the teeny breadcrumbs of canon I got...however, many folks commented that Momotaro looks WAAAAAAY tougher than what I make him out to be so...I guess that’s a fail for following canon strictly on my part. .w.;; If I truly went 1:1, things may be bland...or not...I mean there’s as many subversions to the traditional heroes as there are well, the typical shounen stuff.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS. — Is Momotaro an OC at this point? Probably. But hey, if you guys want a lad who’s adorable but tough...you could look elsewhere...or you can find that in Momo! I wanted to try to represent some stuff of special needs, but I’m still working out the kinks...but the kid’s loyal, and a very good cook at that! He definitely needs a confidence booster, but could that be part of his charm? Maybe. But hey, I think y’all might really like the idea I got for him, and mainly Smash! Like, have you ever wondered what goes on in that mansion? ...well yes, but what about those who aren’t fighters? Or even assist trophies! That’s where the smash verse comes in! Take a peek into the (tough) lives of Waddle Dees and the peach boy, along with other creatures not suitable for Smash! They’re just as handy for making sure the place is well run and fed! If someone isn’t cleaning and cooking to maintain 70+ fighters, and 20+ assist trophies...who is?

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?). — This is a character from a game whose designers may appreciate the female figure a bit too much. I always have a tough time recommending this game to others, and hell, I’m terrible at playing it myself. Hell, the fact that most of the characters are minors is just a...”why do you design them like this Bo.mi” thing. Most do seem to think highly of those designs though, as that’s the main aspect of the game I keep hearing in my searches. Now, I’ve received a good amount of concerns over the years that Momotaro not speaking proper English is either racist or babyish...or both. Is my take too depressing? There are often times I think yes, and feel unbelievable shame over it despite others going hard on the angst train.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? — Well uh, I believe I was charmed by his rugged but baby appearance in the game..and it just so happen at the time that I was part of a budding rp group. Despite the theme being mostly “OUENDAN”, that was the start of me shoving Momotaro into every fuckin’ thing because he’s cute as shit and obscure muses can be fun too! It was also probably relaxing for me because gosh dang back then I was scared of getting something wrong about someone canon with more lore...and I am still scared about that to this day.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? — Studying about Japanese culture, learning the language...the fact that I’ve been rping him for almost 10 years (read like 8-9 at this point)...I do wonder if I should stop rping him...and then I keep hearing that people only want characters only in as fighters, fighters are the only important thing about smash and that grows my weird spite and just continue this “backstage” plot of Smash. Yes, getting a franchise in as a fighter is a VERY high commemoration but, I think it’s just as equally amazing when a franchise gets in as an assist trophy or even a spirit/trophy! So yeah it’s petty and I better find some other motivation soon because it’s exhausting.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

do you think you give your character justice? yes / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ Ahaha....I’m starting to give up on that idea at this point, as several noted that Momotaro isn’t as timid in canon as I write him. But I do try to keep those boneheaded traits of the peach boy in my portrayal. ]

do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ It’s a must for Momotaro, whose game is a tribute to how the old timey arcade games didn’t have much to their plots. Otherwise, I would think that playing him would end up pretty dry..whether I play him closer to canon or not. ]

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO [ ...I should write more. ]

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO [ Stupidly yes. Been playing him for 8 years so it’s a hard habit to break. ]

are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ I mean, if I wasn’t confident enough I would’ve dropped him...though I have thought about that several times. There be times where I run into some sort of writer’s block due to his meek (and traumatized) nature, and because of how he speaks, it’s scary. Am I pushing his issues too much...? Or just HIM in general...? ]

are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. [ Again, writer block happens when some muses don’t click, or personally I don’t want to interact with someone. And then when I do want to write with someone, I fear that my simpler (children’s book) ways of writing would be a turn off. I don’t want to end up babbling too long that there’s too much detail but I shudder at seeing single lines in response to long prose. ]

are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / sorta. [ Yeaaaah i get stressed and cry at lot at confrontation and just...anxiety in general. Been trying to keep that off the dash though, as I’m sure peeps got their own troubles already. DMs are good to have y’all. ]

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL? — I do my best to take crits when I get them but sometimes it just haunts me because I have mixed feelings on being told that the way he speaks is racist or childish. But hey, if you got more advice on how to write trauma and special needs, I’m all ears! Particularly because I’m writing from my own experience in my life and research. ...Dad isn’t that superb at speaking English and that's where I got the Momo speak.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? — Yes please...but at this point I kinda have sadly accepted that’s just gonna be rare because he’s obscure.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? — as my take on Momotaro is very meek, I’d like to see how one would take on a more confident/more canon true take on him. But that’s a pipe dream. Coruse the only headcanon I will never take (that I fear the fandom will have due to perverted nature) is that he’s just a fuckin harem protag wanting to get into pants. To that I say: NO. In canon he doesn’t give a fuck about the fact his teammates are girls...or even acknowledges that they're girls. It’s the time to survive, not boogie on beds...or at a tree.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT? — I anticipate that wholly because again, I have gotten comments that my take on Momotaro has not properly prepared them to witness the sheer destruction and toughness that is canontaro. Honestly I’d be hyped to see more takes...except for the harem route ones. Am I gonna jinx myself for saying it that much?

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? — I probably would be sad but understanding...I mean it’s not the first time that someone has taken deep offense at Momo and me, mainly in the rp sense. I would hope they would at least go find something that makes them happy.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? — Yep yep. Or well stealth editing too, that helps.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? — Ehhhh....maybe...? I mean most think I’m chill but, I’m a ball of anxiety at times. But, I am also one who reaches out because, gosh dang...a lot of peeps are nervous beans and that’s okay. So...it’s a sort of, yeah.

#meme time #long post #sternenteile

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phanomeheart · 5 years

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1, 15, 17, 28, 30? sorry there's so many :)

No need to apologize! These were some of my favs

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

My first thought is Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson, definitely. I love Jeanette Winterson so much, her writing is one of those things that just clicks with my brain and like makes my mind flow in the same rhythm and I’m not good at explaining it, but it makes me wanna think and write and is just such a great experience for me. And little not-quite-realizing-I-was-non-binary-yet me latched on so hard to the idea of a protagonist whose gender you didn’t know throughout the entire book. I spent the whole time trying to guess what gender the author intended the protagonist to really be, and then catching myself and reminding myself that the point is that we don’t know and maybe the point of gender in general can be that you don’t know and there is no ‘real’ answer and I just! I love it! God now I want to read it again.

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

Ahh I love this question, but also i hate making decisions about books :(

1. Written on the Body, for the reasons above.

2. The Realm of Possibility by David Levithan. I read an insane amount of queer YA lit when I was coming out in high school, and David Levithan was another one of those authors whose writing just clicks with my brain. He was one of the people who made me feel more comfortable in my queerness, and a big influence on me continuing to write in high school/early college.

3. Never Cry Wolf by Farley Mowat (and also A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson for similar reasons). The two things I loved about these books were that scientists/nonfiction writers could have a sense of humor, and the curiosity and the wonder I found in the natural world in them. I think Never Cry Wolf especially heavily influenced my decision to study biology/environmental science in undergrad.

4. A Series of Unfortunate Events. Honestly, I think these books did so much in terms of forming me as a child. There are other series I loved (Harry Potter, His Dark Materials, and anything Tamora Pierce especially), but what these books did for my vocabulary, exposing me to different kinds of storytelling, and getting me interested in playing around with writing was pretty substantial I’m just now realizing. Thanks Lemony Snicket! (Also introduced me to Tim Curry through the audio books, which is very important.)

5. Honestly my brain just keeps telling me At Swim, Two Boys by Jamie O’Neill. I don’t know if it was influential so much as I just cannot forget it. I usually hate major character death cuz I just cannot deal and this book has it in a BIG way, which I didn’t know going in. But the love story is just so beautiful and the writing is gorgeous to me and I think in a kind of silly way it helped me understand a bit more the way you have to just handle death. I won’t say the beauty in it, but the inevitability of it (who am I Hank and John?) and the way it doesn’t change the beauty of the story that came before it.

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

answered here, but like kinda but also no

28. on a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?

Hmm! Depends on my mood probably? I can definitely be a little petty sometimes, but I generally try to remember that we’re all complex individuals and people can have different tastes/opinions/ways of interacting (assuming you’re not being actually racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc.). So like maybe a 2 or 3 if 1 is very hard?

30. pick one of your favorite quotes.

I don’t remember quotes very well, but that one Mary Oliver quote has been sticking in my mind recently. I was gonna just quote the first couple of lines, but actually the whole poem is so good. I’ve been in such a Mary Oliver mood recently, and trying to practice letting go of things and appreciating the simple things as we move into the never ending winter here, with her as my muse.

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.You do not have to walk on your kneesfor a hundred miles through the desert repenting.You only have to let the soft animal of your bodylove what it loves.Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.Meanwhile the world goes on.Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rainare moving across the landscapes,over the prairies and the deep trees,the mountains and the rivers.Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,are heading home again.Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,the world offers itself to your imagination,calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -over and over announcing your placein the family of things.

#thank you!#insectbah #did it again i am a creature of habit and cannot keep myself from pressing enter when i type a tag it seems #ffs #ask meme #don't apologize for there being a lot!#my specialty is always writing to much so it's perfect tbh #and they were som good ones #so long #also adding a #death tw #cuz of at swim #i do love that book #but boy #is it not my usual type of book #i do not want to deal with death in my lit it sucks enough in real life

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endwalkr · 5 years

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this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc. super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’)

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda.

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all.

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs.

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice.

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing.

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1.

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me.

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them.

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

#uh. i really just spent and hour and a half writing this down but ya #i love ya video games #personal #long post #like. really long

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frighthouseofalighthouse · 5 years

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I know it's a lot! But all of the 65 questions you aren't used to!! I love getting to know the blogs I follow!

Okay love! The last one was a freebie so I guess I’ll just leave that one out haha.

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Na, usually it’s the opposite for me. I don’t feel important enough to be real.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

Maybe a 3? I don’t mind the dark as long as my imagination isn’t getting the best of me, which it usually is. I always have my little touch-activated lamp in my room left on at the dimmest setting at night.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

Donald Trump.

4. What is your favorite word?

Drumonios. It’s an Ancient Greek epithet of Artemis, and it means “haunting the woods.” (hey, no one said English word)

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

*in Monty Python voice* THE LARCH

No, but in all seriousness, I’d be a willow. So gentle and comforting, like the tree leaning over to hug you and give you shade.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

Yikes.

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A black shirt with images of moon phases that says “to the moon and back”

8. What do you label yourself as?

Is this a gender/sexual identity question??? Cuz if not I could label myself as anything. But genderwise I’m a cis female and orientation-wise I’m lesbian, biromantic, possibly somewhere on the ace spectrum?

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark room. Or mostly dark. Dim with a yellowish lamp because I hate white lights.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Talking to my gf on the phone.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

tbh this year, 19. My anxiety’s been better than it ever was. I haven’t been actively suicidal at all this year. I’m just in a better place all around.

12. Who told you they loved you last?

Probably my mom?

13. Your worst enemy?

Myself

14. What is your current desktop picture?

15. Do you like someone?

Romantically? My girlfriend. In general? Everyone who hasn’t crossed me.

16. The last song you listened to?

Right now I’m listening to LA Devotee by Panic! At The Disco :)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Donald Trump, while he’s in a cabinet meeting so it blows up everyone else there too

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Donald Trump or my ex

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

I don’t really want a slave? Kinda against the whole idea? But ig Thomas Jefferson bc he needs to know what it feels like (Hamilton pettiness coming out oops)

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

My eyes! Idk if I have a picture that shows them really well? But you can check my selfies tag. They’re deep hazel green with gold flecks.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I would look like historical Alexander Hamilton and I would hang out in history museums freaking people out.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Wouldn’t be a secret if I told you. ;) But seriously, I’m not very private about my talents because I’m proud of them. I write, read, make up codes, solve puzzles, sing, do calligraphy. Sometimes my eyeshadow looks decent.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Most of the unique things are PTSD triggers. The rest of my fears are just normal.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Grilled mac and cheese sandwich.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Put it towards saving up for a Switch so I can get the new Pokemon game when it comes out this fall.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

The British Isles, where I will do historical tours and live in the Highlands for a year.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

I don’t drink, I’m pretty against it in part because my uncle’s a recovering alcoholic, but I’d say strawberry daquiris? Idk brands, man.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

Socialism and if you’re gonna mess up the process and turn it into communism then you’re off the island.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

Fuckweasel. Thanks, Raven Cycle.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My phone I guess?

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Nothing. As much as I hate what I’ve been through (assault by my ex, manipulation by my dad) it’s taught me so much strength and made me who I am. I know red flags. I came out of my shell. I know how to say no, how to cut out toxic family.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Scotland.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

FDR. We have a polio vaccine and he was my favorite president.

34. What was your last dream about?

I was doing a crossword puzzle but, like, it never ended. And the clues kept changing every time I started to write the answer. It sucked.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Nothing was inserted haha so yes. I am a good.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Twice. Once as a baby for my open heart surgery, and once when I was 4 for severe dehydration from the flu.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yes but it’s been like 13 years.

38. What is the color of your socks?

Light blue and white stripes.

39. What type of music do you like?

Pop, rock, folk, Celtic, classical, old country, like, Woodie Guthrie, and some new country like Kelsea Ballerini.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

SUNSETS

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Cherry!

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

Um, I guess the OSU Buckeyes cuz that’s where I live and I hate pro football.

43. Do you have any scars?

I have a huge scar down my chest from my heart surgery, a few self harm scars left, and quite a few from old cat scratches. Also my left knee is covered with scars from being a clumsy child. And I have small birthmarks which correlate to past life injuries which is fun

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

A librarian/history or English teacher

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My weight.

46. Are you reliable?

Sometimes I flake on plans bc of mental illness, but yes. I am a strong shoulder to lean on, and I will always be there for you.

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

Am I trying for the right things?

48. Do you hold grudges?

Not consciously. But there are certain things I haven’t been able to forgive just yet.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

Sloth dragon. Sloth with little back scales and wings who flies very slowly and breathes fire when threatened.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

My mom and I have the funniest conversations. I couldn’t pick one. Every day between us is just hysterical.

51. Are you a good liar?

Yes. But I don’t lie anymore except when I have to.

52. How long could you go without talking?

Probably forever as long as I could write or text.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

When I was 9 I decided to get a shoulder length bob. My hair did not approve. Constant white-fro. I don’t have a picture of it full glory, but this is after having it styled, at age 11, as flat as it would go.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Noooo I suck at baking. I’ve made cookies though.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

British, I guess? I do a good Hermione.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter lmao I’m classic

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

Uhhh I sketched a flower on my church bulletin last week? Nothing fancy. I don’t draw.

58. What would be you dream car?

‘67 Impala baby.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

I, uh give political speeches to the showerhead? It’s the Hamilton mood.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

I definitely believe we can’t live in a universe infinitely big all by ourselves.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

I don’t read my actual horoscope, but I look at those zodiac posts a lot, and I know my full birth chart.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

A and S.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

Both. Dinsoaurs could have been dragons, we don’t know.

64. What do you think about babies?

They’re okay til they cry or poop or throw up lmao.

Thanks bb!

#a series of essays anonymously published

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mic-and-cheese · 5 years

Note

Please info dump about your husband...I wish to know more about him!

AAAAA OK I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET THIS FAR

Idk where to start so I’m just gonna ramble?? I guess??? Puttin it under a readmore bc it’s long as FUCK

I think one of the most interesting things about Buddy is his backstory? Like he used to love supers but now hates them because his idol rejected him? I’ve seen a lot of different interpretations of his past, and I apologize for starting off on this note but Buddy comes off to me as someone who was neglected as a child, so he has trouble with empathy, other social skills, and doesn’t really have a way to healthily deal with stress, which lead him to go down the path he did. I think he was born in a small southern town, but moved to Metroville and became enamored with superheroes because he’s now living somewhere where he can see and meet them personally. He views Mr. Incredible as a father figure because of a lack of a father or other male role model in his life and he probably feels like maybe his life would be better or that he’d be more loved if he had powers, and he’s been constantly told and lead to believe that he can’t be a hero without powers, so telling him that is a sore spot for him.He started messing with machines and learning how to fix them because his family didn’t have enough money to fix or replace things around the house when they broke and he found that he really had a passion for building and creating. Of course, he’s a really smart kid, he loves to read and loves math and science and did well in school, but some adults kinda thought he was a nightmare to be around cuz he’s a lil bit bratty and tries to get attention, but he got along well with teachers and other adults who recognized that he was talented and gave him the attention he needed. Buddy is really used to having to cause a lot of trouble to get what he wants or to be listened to, which is a trait he still kept into adulthood. His first real invention that wasn’t just him tinkering around with whatever he could find was his rocket boots, and he made them with spare parts he found or bought. He’s met Mr. Incredible a few times before, but he was hoping that being able to show off his talent would impress him enough to let him be his sidekick.Ever since he was young he’s always been an entrepreneur, making money by fixing stuff for neighbors and taking other odd jobs.Even after he was rejected he still loves superheroes, or at least the idea of them, even though he doesn’t really like them as people anymore but I’ll get to that later.The interesting thing about him really is just how much I can estimate about him just from what little info we know about him in canon, and how many ways there are to interpret him. I’ve seen him be interpreted as a kid who was spoiled and didn’t know how to deal with rejection, and while I can’t say I like that interpretation, but it is possible. Even though his backstory is interesting, his personality is just…??? Lovely??? I mean it’s really not but I think it is. He’s just??? so geeky and adorable and I love seeing him get so excited over superheroes even though he has a love-hate relationship with them, and he’s just fearless and probably a bit of a dare devil? He really seems like the sort of person who would try anything at least once and doesn’t get embarrassed easily. I mean it’s just so amazing how he’s an evil mastermind but like, he’s still Buddy ya know? Like he still has his excitable, nerdy, funny personality, but he can also be downright terrifying? It’s interesting from a character writing standpoint of course but like, just? On a personal level??? I mean his personality alone flusters me because everything about him (save for uh, the murder) is something I find obviously given the subject of the blog, really attractive. Like he’s not afraid to be himself or play around and he embraces self-insert esqe enjoyment so like??? How cool is it to have an f/o who may also have f/os or at least be supportive of self inserting!!Of course even though theres a lot about his personality that’s cute, there are a lot of things that aren’t, so he’s not really the best with empathy, and he can be pretty cruel, petty, selfish, and he has difficulty opening up to people but I do think that he’s open to learning and changing with someone he trusts, and can be really sweet when he wants to, even if it is a little awkward.One thing I really love about him is how you can tell that he’s got a life and interests outside of Kronos. Like yeah he’s really focused on his plan obviously, but his personality is just so strong in the things around him and the things he does and says that make him feel so much more dimensional. For example, a lot of his tech is integrated with or inspired by nature, so I really think he likes biomimicry, probably because he’s learning how to one up nature, aka basically what his entire motivation is. I love that he’s obviously just got cute little tics like how his eye twitches in the lego games or how much he likes to gesture and hum and whistle. (also his humming is so cute oh my god)And I’m just constantly in awe of how smart and resourceful he is. I mean my love of tropical islands aside, Nomanisan is just… impressive. Like its so ingenious to build his base literally into the island in a way that makes use of its natural features, such as the underwater landing pad, secret exits, underground passageways, and of course the lava wall, and I just can’t help but wonder how he came up with all of that and how long and how much money it took? And thats just taking about the things on the island that are canon. I mean, from my own speculations I figure that the island not only has that amazing lava wall, but is built to redirect the flow of lava to prevent any volcanic activity on the island, keep lava and ash away from expensive tech (the rocket and mantajet for example) and provide power to the island via geothermal energy. Maybe even a little use of wave energy too if necessary since it’s a pretty good option for a place surrounded by water. I assume Buddy chose the island for its resources, (namely a metal alloy that one of the books mentioned) considering he’s made it pretty self sustaining with what it already has after implementing all his tech. The location, being far from any other place, really, and outside of any governmental jurisdiction is good too, so when you really think about it, he probably could have gotten away with a lot of the things that he did, which is, uh, pretty impressive to say the least, not to mention the real world location of Nomanisan (Easter Island) doesn’t face the sorts of hurricanes and harsh weather you’d expect for a small island in the middle of no where.And I mean??? He’s a genius inventor villain who is still extremely in tune with nature to the point that it inspires some of his inventions??? How cool and unique is that??? I’m sure the island must be an amazing place to be, I mean the beaches and caves, rivers, waterfalls… it must be such a joy to explore. And I dunno, I’ve always imagined that working for Syndrome could be kinda fun sometimes. I mean, he is a pretty funny guy with a good sense or humor, and surely guarding and what not all day must get boring, so I’m sure he’s not opposed to having some fun every now and then.And he’s certainly not ashamed of what he considers fun either! I have a feeling he’d like scale models and collectibles and would go to the ends of the earth for a rare one that he particularly likes, especially if they’re ones he gets to build himself. I’m sure he’s a huge fandom geek as well, like name any 50’s-60’s sci fi movie and he knows it by heart. And with all his animal inspired inventions, I’m sure he loves going out in nature and watching the unique wildlife of Nomanisan. Given Easter Island’s own wildlife, I’m sure sharks and whales, and even some really interesting lizards would be pretty common around there. (And given how much forest it has in comparison to Easter Island, I’m sure there’s A LOT more than that. Maybe even rare species only native to the island.) I also really see Buddy as the sort of guy who just loves new and exciting experiences, no matter what it is. Like if it’s something he’s never done before, he’s on board!With all that in mind it’s just so wonderful just how much of a well rounded character he is. I mean he’s happy, nerdy, childish, and excitable, but he’s also bitter, revenge driven, and unempathetic. That being said, his relationships with other people all have such an interesting dynamic to them. He adores Bob for his ingenuity while still hating him enough to try to kill him and his family, and he cares for Mirage but doesn’t really know how to show it. Like I said earlier, I think he was neglected as a kid, so he never really learned how to properly regulate his emotions, so a lot of the time he’s pretty conflicted. He’s an extrovert who wants to be loved and adored, yet he’s too scared to trust after being betrayed. He has a hard time relating to people and thus doesn’t understand how his actions can hurt them when he means well, for example, betting Mirage’s life or saving people from his own robot without proper regard to his surroundings that a truly well meaning hero would have (aka, throwing a tanker truck just to make a spectacle out of saving a mother and child with no regard to what damage the truck could have done).Of course, while his scenes with Mirage can be interpreted as him not really caring for her, I think it’s the opposite. I think he knew that betting her life was the only way he could have saved her (he couldn’t have pulled her away from Bob, shocking Bob could have shocked her, and if he had shown any weakness for her, Bob could have used that as leverage against him, whereas if he shows no remorse, if Bob had killed her he’d just have a dead lady on his hands for pretty much no reason). Granted as well meaning as he was, I don’t think he understands how that hurt Mirage. He sees that he saved her, and doesn’t expect her to be mad about it, but the reality is that she honestly does have a right to be mad about her life being risked, especially when he never clearly communicated that his intent was to save her.Somehow I’ve gone this far without even talking about why I like him??? I mean I don’t even think I’ve ever fully explained why I like him. I’ve tried, sure, but I don’t even think it’s something I can actually convey in words? But I’ll try??? Anyway, he’s literally everything to me, and I don’t just mean that in a sappy romantic way. I’ve always been fascinated with him since I was 6 years old and saw the movie for the first time. He reminds me of happy memories with my dad who passed away some years ago because I saw the movie with him and I remember how much it confused little 6 year old me. Like the fact that the movie started with interviews was the wildest thing to me, and I don’t even think I could even comprehend the plot until much later on. But during that first experience, I don’t know what it was but something about him always stuck with me. Funnily enough one of the things that stuck with me was his joke from Jack Jack Attack and that was the first joke that I knew I didn’t understand but knew I would someday and I literally made a mental note back then telling myself that I knew I’d understand it, and well, thanks for remembering that 6 year old me, because I get the joke now and it’s still funny to me. (I also never actually realized that the guy silhouetted in front of the lava was supposed to be Syndrome until like last summer and I always just thought that was something that was never explained haha.) Anyway after seeing the movie with my dad, he asked me who my favorite character was. I said Violet since I thought saying otherwise would have been weird at the time, but in reality it’s always been Syndrome and that’s just an important memory to me.And now he’s that memory and so many other things to me. He’s what finally helped me recover from a rough couple of years by showing me that people could still create wonderful and impressive things despite being cast away by someone that they once adored and that my success wasn’t based on their approval, which finally helped me shut them out of my life and become so much happier. He helps me manage my anxiety because all the things that make me scared would be nothing to the guy who still wore a cape and rocket boots even after they nearly got him killed. And of course, I love him because he’s nerdy, excitable, brave, and smart, and even because I feel like I can understand his lack of empathy. He’s just such a well rounded, multifaceted character that it’s almost hard to believe he’s fictional haha. With all that combined, he’s one of my my special interests too! I mean it’s hard not to want to know everything about such an interesting guy right?But even if you can’t see the appeal in his personality, it’s no question that he’s just amazing in terms of his accomplishments alone. I mean he can’t be any older than like, 28 max (I consider him 25 though, since the closest we ever get to a canon age is mid 20’s) and yet he’s a billionaire with his own private island, at least one successful company, and groundbreaking tech that makes today’s tech look simple, but he did all in the EARLY SIXTIES.The mantajet in particular is just awe inspiring to me, mostly because I love planes, but I mean, most planes take 15 years just to be conceptualized. Buddy created a completely automated, uniquely shaped, supersonic, semi-aquatic jet with the ability to hover in under that time. It’s like if the SR-71 Blackbird were a luxury all-terrain vehicle! And I am just so endlessly impressed that it can go underwater, like I’m sure its entire design was based around that ability, since the engines would have to be strong enough to withstand literal tons of water going through them, which is why I suspect they’re placed in those cavities above the wings, to direct air and water to go through them in the right way while also keeping them intact in the impact! (they may be waterproof but they are unfortunately not (or maybe fortunately, depending on how you look at it) uh,,,, Syndrome proof) And the “manta feelers” probably help the plane hover and also serve as the landing gear??? UGH IT’S GENIUS, SUCH RESOURCEFUL GENIUS.Of course I’ve gotta talk about the design of his aero boots too!! He’s come such a long way since the rocket boots!!! I’m so proud of him!!! The new boots are just as genius as the mantajet, really. They have vents in the sole, probably to either keep them from overheating or to draw in oxygen to use for combustion. I love how the metal strip is implemented into the heel and up the back of the boots, that’s probably where the fuel and engines are housed, and man, I can’t imagine how much power they’d both have to generate, those tiny little engines. I’m sure they run on some pretty efficient stuff. And how the soles of the boots look like they can come off of the main boot itself, I’m sure that makes for easy maintenance! I also love how the animators added the detail of the screw in the arch of the boot so that it articulates properly, rather than just saying “yeah whatever he can walk fine somehow with these half-metal boots.”And then there’s Zero Point Energy??? I mean, ZPE is actually based off a real scientific concept that would essentially harness infinite energy. I think about this on the daily and I still can’t comprehend it. He harnessed infinite energy. In the 60’s. And made a device small and powerful enough to literally generate it in the palm of his hand. Since all of that energy is generated in his gauntlets, it’d have to pass through his hands to reach his fingertips, so not only can he generate it, but he created a suit that can conduct infinite energy around him so that it doesn’t hurt him. Like no wonder he’s so protective of ZPE. (On that note, this is exactly why I think he designed his suit and not Edna or Galbaki. He’d never trust anyone else to design a suit with his most valuable tech built into it)Not to mention, how interesting is it that a ruthless serial killer villain like him chooses a technology that doesn’t harm his target and instead just freezes them in place!Also also can I talk about just how amazing the other features of the gauntlets are? I mean they hold a small bomb that can produce a big enough blast to in theory kill the nearly invincible Mr. Incredible. He’s got a laser powerful enough to make a clean hole through the roof of a house, and those gauntlets can take a hell of a beating too, considering it was thrown all over the city during the final Omnidroid fight with minimal damage. Oh also the little sliding cover over the buttons is cute.Ok ok, next there’s the energy prisons. I assume they work on ZPE since they’re able to suspend victims in mid-air? I literally shouldn’t be so excited about this thing but I can’t even get over how ingeniously HORRIBLE they are. I mean I don’t want to get into any details, cuz if I do I’ll go into scarily gruesome territory but those things are terrifying. They work with almost any sort of super he could possibly be keeping prisoner with such a pretty simple idea really, just by suspending them against their own weight. The only fault in them really is that Violet can get through them, but he may not have necessarily known that beforehand since I doubt he had any force fields to test them on (or at least any “organic” ones).Implementing the monorail system is such a perfect idea too!! It makes it easy to get around, keeps guards from getting lost, works on all terrain, and keeps supers from seeing things they don’t need to see, so long as they stay on the tracks they’re supposed to be on.And speaking of hiding, while not technically tech related, I don’t know if he knows about the KRONOS carved in the cave, but I bet you he does know about that cave and all the other hard to reach areas of the island, since there’s an I2 deleted scene that shows he knows how Gazerbeam died, and the guards know to split up to catch Dash in one of the caves. Also related to Kronos, I like to make fun of his computer room for it’s impractical at best, dangerous at worse design, but listen. The security system. It’s brilliant. He’d have to engineer some sort of substance that stays compact and non-sticky while not in use, but that can quickly expand and maintain its strength to capture intruders. And the victim would still have to be able to breathe through them too?? And like how do they come off?? I’m sure that’s an interesting process too. The “fire randomly” approach is also interesting, since it pretty much leaves no escape. And what about under the walkway??? Like what’s way down there??? I don’t even have a theory for that, really. And and and how does the security system for that room work? Does it recognize unfamiliar noises perhaps, since it was triggered by Bob’s suit tracker, cuz if it were triggered by just random noise, I’m sure Syndrome or Mirage would have accidentally triggered it before. Oh, also also also x3 the computer screen automatically shuts off once the security system is activated, which is a nice touch, so that the enemy can’t get any more info as soon as the system is notified. Having only one way in and out of the room is clever too.I JUST WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT NOMANISAN’S SECURITY PROTOCAL OKI wish we had seen more of the technology that he used for Mirage’s message too. Like, he obviously uses the voice matching and scanning technology on the island (the security bird and life probe) but what about that illusion effect on the tablet?Also I mean, I’m sure being an arms dealer during the Cold War in itself has got to be extremely lucrative, but that doesn’t even account for how high tech his other weapons that weren’t mentioned must be.Ok, ok I think that covers all of his other inventions. I haven’t talked about the Omnidroid yet because hooo boy do I have some things to say about that beautifully terrifying piece of tech. I love that he used an iterative process on it to build upon its design (also the idea that he respects the strength his self-proclaimed nemesis enough to build up the robot to prepare to fight him), and I’ve actually gone back and tried to figure out the reason behind the changes he made in each iteration. And listen. How long do you think it took him to build and test all those robots? A few years maybe? Nah son, using the movie’s timeline, I’ve calculated that if he were working at a consistent pace throughout the project, it’d take FOUR MONTHS. 10 highly advanced ai robots. Fully drafted, programmed, built, and tested in 4 months. Oh and did I mention HE CREATED AI. LIKE ACTUAL AI.And his control over the Omnidroid (at least Omnidroid 9 anyway) is brilliant too. He’s got perfect control over it, and the reason I bring that up is because Omnidroid 10 tried to kill him. I’ve spent a long time wondering why he had perfect control over 9 but 10 disobeyed him, and my conclusion is that he implemented some new code in 10 that would make it act more destructively, thus making it more difficult to control but he never actually expected it not to listen to him because he didn’t actually test it on the island since, uh, having a 10 story tall rampaging robot on the loose near your base isn’t a good idea. I also headcanon that 10 was built to self destruct when defeated so that no one could trace its origins back to Syndrome had he won and been considered a hero.With that long ass section out of the way I’d finally like to bring up that if Syndrome did indeed create all of these inventions, that’d made him a computer programmer, aerospace engineer, possibly a civil engineer, a chemist, the inventor of harnessing infinite energy and ai, and thats only what I can think of off the top of my head.Another one of my favorite things about Buddy is that I love how easy it is to imagine him as a way more fleshed out character than he really is. On multiple occasions I’ve heard other people say that he seems like someone who would love conventions, or probably be an internet troll, and other things of that nature that relate more to his interests and personal life. I mean sure, anyone can headcanon anything for any character, but the way people headcanon Buddy just feels very… natural? Very fitting? Like, he’s a character that’s very easy to imagine having a life and hobbies outside of his evil schemes.Another little interesting thing is how he’s pretty much his own downfall. I mean sure a lot of his losses can be attributed to the Parrs defeating him in some way, but his most glaring faults are usually things that he could have prevented had he acted a little differently or planned a little differently. I dunno I just think that’s interesting for no particular reason.And one more thing I haven’t really discussed/seen discussed as much as I really think it should because it’s an interesting part of his character is does he see himself as a hero or a villain? And There are some interesting interpretations to that question as well. For example, if he views himself as a hero it’s probably because he doesn’t believe that superheroes are actually good people at heart, and that they just put up a facade of being kind and helpful to the public, which he uses to justify his atrocities. Or perhaps he legitimately does see himself as a hero for wanting to give normal people the opportunity to be super, or maybe he thinks that he’s doing a service to the world by killing off the people who are simply putting up that facade of good, or perhaps he sees himself as a victim deserving of a “redemption.” And if he sees himself as a villain, maybe he doesn’t understand or want to acknowledge the full weight of his actions, because it’s all a game to him, or maybe he does see himself as a bad person beyond redemption, so he decided that being a supervillain was fated or required of him. Regardless of which idea he believes, it’s obvious that Syndrome very much so lives (and has always lived) in his own fantasy world where things do play out exactly like how comic books do, and that his actions have no real weight to him (except when he feels like he’s been wronged, because he views himself as the protagonist or antagonist of the “story” aka making his own emotions relevant “plot points,” even if no one elses’ emotions (except maybe Bob’s) have any importance to him) because it’s all a comic book in his mind.Anyway there’s my nonsense rant

#oops #Anonymous #ask

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unwiltingblossom · 5 years

Text

I really want to be done with this, since of the people who actually follow me they’re not Marvel centric and who wants to see a bunch of opinion blogs about a movie they probably haven’t even seen, but oh my gosh, I just want to talk about the scene where they try to give Tony a mini heart attack and everyone just wants to complain about petty things instead.

Lemme talk about why You Are Wrong about hating certain things in Endgame, cuz at least that’s a thing I do in Naruto and other fandoms too. Spoilers.

To be clear, I’m sad about the deaths. I’m especially broken-hearted about Steve, because it’s not possible for Falcon to replace him, so there’s no point even trying. Tony is a bummer, but he’s basically just RDJ, so we’ll still see him being Sherlock and typecast as Tony Stark like figures. All Tony Stark adaptations will be made to copy him still, he’s not really gone. Part of why Captain is gone is because Chris Evans doesn’t want to be him anymore, so that death just feels much more real. You can’t replace the quintessential boy scout from the 30s with...anyone, really.

I’m also sad about the pseudo-deaths, but. Despite that, I don’t agree with the movie complaints. Let’s get into those.

First: No, there wasn’t really any other way for Tony to end. RDJ has been done with the character since IM3, he’s been trying to write him out over and over and just can’t. “He’s retired” can’t work when they have no Tony replacement and go up against world-ending threats, and I don’t think he wants to be tied down to cameos and phone-ins. Death was the only answer for his character. As much as I hate losing Captain, that was a similar situation. Unless they replaced those actors - and that’s tough, especially in RDJ’s case - the characters needed to go with their actors, and their roles/personalities were such that anything but death wouldn’t do that.

We’ll get back to why those were the best endings they could give the characters while still being abrupt and sad, and making it feel like there was actual loss and sacrifice required, but let’s meander over to Thor briefly because his is somewhat shorter.

Buzzfeed woman: If you cannot handle TV shows that have fat characters or fat jokes, please seek counseling and get help. It sounds like you have some serious issues with your self image and self confidence, and frankly it’s just not a good thing if your entire day is ruined and you’re dropped into a depression because you hear someone make a joke that’s not even about you. Don’t blame other people and expect them to change for you, because they won’t. Seek to be more secure in yourself.

Everyone else: The reason why Thor seems ‘diminished’ all movie is the same reason why Captain Marvel isn’t there 90% of the movie - no, no, not because they just shoved him into the plot at the last minute to promote his movie, the other reason - he’s just too strong. This is a recurring issue for him in Avengers movies, and they may try to just de-Avenger him going forward to avoid this in the future. Avengers movies are ensembles, everyone is supposed to be necessary, but to set the enemies to a level where people like Black Widow are useful means that Thor could shrug and wipe out most of them except for the boss. And sometimes even the big bad isn’t that scary - CM and Thor could both take down Thanos without infinity stones just too easily, and the plot needed to believably take the heroes from ‘completed gauntlet’ to ‘Thanos has the gauntlet’, which is a lot harder than IW where he was always 2-3 steps and stones ahead.

Fat Thor worked double-purpose to explore the crushing guilt and issues with Thor - he was barely hanging by a thread in IW, losing at the end of it and then having it confirmed at the start of Endgame that there was no hope was too much - and sidelining him most of the movie. It weakened him because he no longer had the focus to just lightning blast Thanos’ army into dust and he was physically out of shape and so not as strong as he was before, making Thanos an equal enemy to him again. Because he was physically unimposing, the Avengers didn’t lean on him and expect him to do everything, which allowed him to go and face his mother again, which allowed him to get the hammer and dual-wield, confirm he was still worthy, and give Steve that moment everyone had so badly wanted to see for years (as Steve’s swan song). The story was never about how Thor was still just as strong even out of shape, because the point is that his own self-loathing and inability cope was destroying him and he needed to heal from that before he could even begin to recover. GotG3 or T4 will be about Thor regaining all that. Endgame was about Thor finally coming to grips with the overwhelming weight of guilt that had been ruining and driving him for several movies now.

And in the end, even once he was able to snap out of his funk and start recovering, he didn’t magically shed all that weight and get back into fighting fit. (That, too, is something for GotG3 and/or T4) Because recovery is still a process that takes time. In my opinion, the way they have Thor deal with his trauma and guilt is as realistic as they had Tony deal with it.

As for the ‘fat jokes’, that’s just taking things out of context. It ignores all the other serious things that Avengers makes jokes about. They always inject levity into things and seek comedy where they can, because the plots are usually so heavy that if they don’t, the movie becomes depressing and draining. In IW/Endgame this is especially so, because so many people die and so much is lost. Fat!Thor and the Fortnite game moments are some of the only opportunities they have to put some humor in. And the Avengers use insulting humor toward each other quite often. War Machine calls Peter - who was at that time dead and had serious issues he was grappling with himself - an idiot because he’s dancing along on a planet to music on headphones. Bucky calls Steve stupid knowing this would be the last time he saw him (at least at that age). Basically, the jokes were necessary to keep the movie from choking on its own darkness and they were in-character (plus, indicators of the fact that they didn’t trust Thor to be the responsible party, forcing other characters to have a role instead, and keeping Thor from any responsibility later for “why didn’t he use the stones to--”)

So. Yes, it’s disappointing that Thor didn’t really get to flex, but at least he was present, and it’s allowed him to begin to heal from the trauma conga line he’s been on ever since Thor 1. It’s really not an issue that people make it out to be, and it seems like people are just being overly specific in their sensibilities. Make fun of Thor’s long hair, his missing eye, his cluelessness about the modern world? That’s fine. Make fun of Rocket when he’s the product of horrific experiments? That’s fine. Make fun of any number of serious issues, or just insult their friends in some humorous way? All okay. Make fat jokes? SUDDENLY it’s just not okay and super mean!

Don’t read too much into things like that. Like the buzzfeed woman claiming his mother ‘nastily’ told him to eat a salad. She was just being a mother, looking at a son who five minutes ago seemed to be in his prime and now had completely collapsed and was desperately looking for direction from her. She must have gathered that at least from his perspective he’d never get to see her again, so it was effectively the last advice she’d give him. “Eat a salad!” is just “Take care of yourself, eat well, please!” in the gentlest, shortest way possible. Don’t be like that woman. Don’t read malice where it isn’t.

MOVING ON.

Tony and Steve.

I know, it’s sad. But these were the most logical conclusions to their stories, both from their own perspective and when you consider how their characters were juxtaposed off of each other. Ignoring for a moment the actor situation, the characters needed to die because if they didn’t we’d just end up with a Battle of Winterfell situation where everything was set up to look hopeless but then things worked out so no one important died. (except Heimdall. Poor Heimdall, he didn’t get snapped or brought back via time shenanigans. I’m guessing he got the fatal Actor’d, since Idris didn’t like being him)

So, knowing that they had to kill one, and therefore because of their connection in the movies it had to be both, let’s look at why they were the most reasonable and perfect deaths to give them under the circumstances while still remaining sad. “And then they lived to death” is hard to do if it’s not Doctor Who, so it’s not really an easy ending to write for a character you need to immediately exit the franchise.

Tony.

Finally we resolve the plot with Pepper. They get married, they have a child, they have five years living together married- this is on top of the eleven years they’ve been in a relationship since Iron Man, and the years before that of flirtatious tension and a relationship that’s non-romantic. Five years was just the time they had living a domestic and quiet life, raising their child, not the complete length of their life. Tony got to live with the love of his life and finally do something right, and in the end Pepper gave him the go-ahead to risk not only himself but their whole family to protect the rest of the universe.

In the end, he ‘fixed’ his failure from IW, defeating Thanos personally. He was the one responsible for the timeline being ‘the one’ where they succeed. He finally found some peace with his father and history, he created something beautiful - for once, he left a legacy that wasn’t death and destruction or weapons, but a sweet little girl who will make the world a better and brighter place.

And Tony made that full circle from the first story, affirming that it was never the suit, but Tony Stark, who made Iron Man. He is Iron Man. Those are his last words, and part of the gruesome death was there to ensure they were. Though there’s also something powerful about him saying nothing and snapping his fingers instead like they’d originally written it to be. But, look. Tony Stark was a man who sent weapons all over the world, caused thousands, if not millions to die because of those weapons and then changed due to the guilt of realizing what he’d done. His character has basically been caught in a loop ever since of trying to fix things by creating more weapons to protect people instead and just causing more death and more harm in the process.

Finally, though, with a snap of his fingers and the cost of his own life...he made an army disappear. He saved not just half the universe this time, but literally all of it, every single being alive can thank Tony for it (ignoring the celestial beings who would have stopped Thanos but shh, MCU hasn’t introduced those). Look at the symbolic nature of Tony Stark being the one to turn an army - and all of their weapons - into dust in a moment. He saved everyone, and he finally erased the ugly stain of his weapons from the world in one fell swoop. Symbolically, this is the most perfect way to end his character, and something the comics will never be able to give Tony.

In a more practical sense, it was also necessary. He’d never be able to truly step away from being an Avenger. His own paranoia and sense of guilt means that no matter how much he’d want to live his own life, he’d always be dragged into things, risk his life again, and Pepper + Morgan would constantly have to worry about whether he’d come back or not. And he’d mess up again. He’s too afraid of the future, needed too much to control things. Ultron would happen again. The Superhero Registration would happen again. Especially when/if Steve would die, there’s no one holding him back anymore. Narratively, his story needed to be finished, especially if he was going to be the one to snap anyway. So yes. Death was the necessary price. And it did need to be that harsh, gruesome thing. Not just because we see over and over how painful it is to use those stones, but because this was a loss. His death was quick, but it wasn’t easy. The price that the universe paid to be saved was Tony Stark’s life, and him just vanishing afterward would have felt cheap and robbed the people around him of their closure.

And again, it worked perfectly as the counterpoint for Steve. His life was short but he died protecting everyone else. He died so that he didn’t have to watch anyone he loved die instead, and he died surrounded by the people he cared about, finally redeemed of his sins.

Then there’s Steve.

Now, I don’t think his death was necessary like Tony’s. But because Tony did die, it does make sense they might kill Steve too. And I don’t think anyone would question that if they chose to kill Steve in the battle against Thanos. But if they did that, someone would have been blamed. Carol, Thor, Scott, Tony, whoever. Someone would get the blame, and I think it would have been extremely demoralizing to see Captain America die during the battle, where morale was so paper thin already.

Plus, like I said, his needed to be a counterpoint to Tony.

Tony got to have his time with the love of his life, but then cut it short for the sake of everyone in the universe, died young, before anyone else, sacrificed etc. It fit his personality, his fast-paced, short tempered quippy self.

Steve is the one with the unnaturally long life, forced to live for over a hundred years and losing everyone and everything around him. Peggy is the love of his life, and unlike Tony he had to watch her transform from a young woman to an old frail thing who had moved on without him, and then eventually die while he was still in the prime of his youth. He has no future to look forward to. Because of his lifespan, all that’s going to happen is him watching his friends all die around him one by one, Nat, Tony, Sam, Bucky, Bruce, etc.

In the end, he’s finally given the opportunity to do the impossible: go back where he belongs. Go back to the world with everyone that he remembers and loves from his past. Go back to the woman whom he loves the most, who he’ll never truly move on from. Live, like Tony always told him to.

And so - with Bucky’s blessing, I’ll note - he does. Everything about Steve has been the displaced, long suffering soldier, and in his ending, he finally gets to come home from the war. He already sacrificed himself and the love he should have had with Peggy way back in the First Avenger. He should have died in that ice, he planned to, just as Tony does. And thus, the only proper ending for Steve isn’t a heroic sacrifice - because he’s already made his - but being able to finally live the life that he gave up for the world. In a way, it’s Tony’s last gift to him, as Tony finally created a time machine to send Steve (who he weirdly thinks of as a friend) back where he belongs.

But even so, Steve is Steve. He got to live his life with Peggy and grow old, but he still watched her die. Again. He lost Peggy twice, and everyone he knew from that timeline as well - not only did he leave it and all them behind, but most of those people would have died (I like to think he saved Howard Stark, though, for the Tony who never knew him and for that Bucky). And he’s still not dead. Which means he’s still living (at least until they say he died off-screen, anyway), and he may yet still watch more of his friends die around him before he can finally find his rest.

Basically, their endings are counterpoints to each other, and also perfect for themselves. Tony flares up bright and burns out in spectacular fashion saving the universe, and Steve is the long-burning candle, the last light that lingers in the darkness after everyone else flickers out, the one who can’t sacrifice himself even when he tries, and so all he can do is live until the end, and pass on his flame to someone else.

They’re both sad in different ways, and they’re both the best kind of ending the writers could have come up for those characters in particular.

and now a few quick rebuttals to the common complaints in particular:

Tony’s survivor’s guilt IS why he goes back to save Peter and the others even at his own personal risk. Anyone else would have refused to help or even actively interfered, because the risk of losing their child would be too much. The risk of failing and still losing their child, when the world was continuing on without any future danger to it, would just be too much.

And that’s another reason he died. The guilt would have eaten him alive if anyone else had snapped and saved the universe for him.

Thor was not ‘fine’ in Infinity War. He was clinging to the thin hope that he could stop Thanos because he was essentially destined to stop Thanos. He had to believe that he had a greater purpose and everything happened the way it did because it had to. He’d been clinging to that for a long time, in fact, and when he failed to kill Thanos, failed to save everyone, that hope was ripped away from him. He didn’t just collapse because he failed Thanos, he became lost and adrift because everything that he built his identity around vanished and he didn’t know who or what he was supposed to be or do anymore. He needed his mother to tell him to be who he is and not who he’s supposed to be to save him from that. And he still remarks at the end that “I’ve never had nothing to do before, I’m not sure what to do with that.”

I wrote a bunch of stuff about why Steve isn’t being selfish and all of those quibbles are silly, but then accidentally lost that, and I don’t feel like rewriting it. Other people have covered that anyway. Steve isn’t being selfish. He creates a world line where everyone gets to be happy, and in the end he gives that up so that he can give his friends closure again, and spend time with them in his twilight. They didn’t lose Steve, he just aged to the point he should have been.

Avengers Endgame timeline isn’t complicated, it’s very simple. I’ll make that a separate post though. In short: they use the world lines theory Steins;Gate uses, so paradoxes are functionally impossible. They literally cannot happen.

#endgame spoilers #tony stark #thor #steve rogers #avengers endgame #ooc #rant #long post #meta #let me tell you a thing about thor #and tony and steve apparently

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spacetimewraithwrites-archive · 5 years

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11-11-11

rules: answer 11 questions, ask 11 questions, tag 11 people

I was tagged by @capricious-writes, thanks for that! hopefully I did this right yikes (under the cut b/c I don’t wanna clog up anyone’s dashboards lol)

1. What’s you favorite OC?

At the moment it’s a toss-up between Warren and Thrive. Warren is super-relatable because I wrote him to have a lot of the mental illnesses that I’ve got (write what you know, right???) and there are times where I imagine something I’ve written him doing and I’m just like o shit waddup tho

Thrive is a stunner, in every sense of the word. I’m just head-over-heels in love with him and it uhhhh shows in the writing sometimes. under the guise of it being Warren’s POV. lmfao. who am I actually

2. What’s your favorite POV?

Hmm...I’m partial to first-person because the story can really develop a distinct voice, but honestly the biggest drawback for me is that it’s so limited. I’ve written first person before with little issue but I like having that freedom of possibly showing what’s going on outside of the narrator’s field of awareness.

3. What’s one food that just doesn’t exist in your wip. You’re a petty god - what’s that one ‘delicacy’ that you erased from all history, and that will never ever be mentioned in your story? Why?

Mayonnaise cuz seriously FUCK mayonnaise

4. Is there a tpe of setting you tend to write stories in?

I haven’t particularly had one type up until now. I think from this point forward I might have a type because I’m going to try to stick to sci-fi for the most part

5. What was the last show you finished?

Ooh, the last one I finished??? Hmm...jeez, I have no idea. I’ve just kinda been watching things that are either still going and/or have had a bit of time between seasons. uuhhhh god, um...the second time I watched Frasier all the way through a couple years ago?? lordt I’ll come back to this if it suddenly comes to me lol

6. If you had to completely change the medium of your wip what would it be and why and/or what would change?

I’m probably not gonna answer this the way you expected so forgive me if I’m wildly incorrect, but I would make it into a graphic novel because honestly I would love to see an artist’s depiction of my characters and worlds. I wouldn’t have them change too much tbh. Possibly nothing at all, actually. I’d have to hire someone to do it for me since I can’t draw for shit oops

7. What’s your ideal villain?

I could literally talk about this for hours. My ideal villain is my ideal serial killer, and this is going to sound really suspicious and weird but hear me out. Take like, all of the fictional media portrayals of serial killers, add a tablespoon of the Joker and four cups of, like, Ted Bundy or something. Just a guy who is completely unhinged with the way he goes about his bullshit and has no remorse whatsoever, but also has no reason for being the way he is. That’s the best kind of serial killer—just some random dude with no psychological answers for his behavior, barely even a sociopath, but he’s smart. He’s been doing this for maybe ten, twenty years. Leaving little whispers of a trail, not enough to get a good lead.

Like...if Stargher from The Cell had a gross baby with Hannibal or something like that, idk.

8. What’s one recent aspect of writing you’ve been trying to implement/improve?

Showing and not telling. Maybe a big chunk of it is my own insecurities lying to me but I never feel like I do enough to really put a scenario into a reader’s mind. Then again my own sister told me somewhere around book 1 draft 4 that I over-describe, so, big shrug man

9. If your MC had sudden access to a time travel wrist watch (fixed points time travel), what would they do with it? Alternatively, if you have time travel already, could your story exist without it, and how?

This is a complex one. My story kinda has time-travel, but only sorta, cuz it’s just like...for one person. I don’t think my story could exist without it tbh, I’d have to completely gut the whole thing and rework it. But if Warren had time-travel...he would probably use it to spend more time with his parents.

10. What’s one joke, or funny trope that gets you every time?

In general? I don’t really know exactly what to call it but there’s this moment in season one of Narcos where Peña and Murphy are staking out La Catedral for carrier pigeons, and they gotta shoot one of ‘em down and Peña keeps trying to shotgun this damn bird out of the sky and Murphy’s like “gimme the gun” and shoots it down in one go, and he walks away like “ain’t you ever been duck hunting before” or something and Peña’s like, “No?? You fuckin’ hillbilly??” and I just lose it every time hahahaha

11. If you could say one sentence of dialogue, as yourself, in your current wip, what, where or to whom would it be, and why?

I would literally just apologize to everyone for what I’m about to put them through and it would be immediately the first line of dialogue in the entire series lmao

—My questions to you:

1. If you could have free reign to rope anyone on Earth into portraying your characters on the screen be it big or small, who would they be? Any particular reason why?

2. Additionally, if you could get any artists to do the original soundtrack, who would they be and why?

3. If you could entirely rehaul a WIP from years ago, be it childhood or whenever, which one would it be? What would you change?

4. Who is your least favorite OC and why? Doesn’t mean you have to dislike them! ...But bonus points if you do.

5. What’s a line of dialogue/narration from your WIP that you’re SUPER proud of, for any reason you can come up with?

6. What’s something you hate about your favorite OC?

7. If you have romantic relationships in your WIP, who would pair them up with besides their current partner(s)? If you don’t have romantic relationships, who would you pair up if you did?

8. Badly describe the plot of your WIP (i.e. for The Empire Strikes Back: talking frog tells petulant child to murder his father)

9. Which person, living or dead, would you want the most to read your WIP?

10. Does your main character have any hobbies? Do the hobbies help them throughout the course of your story?

11. Have you based any characters off of people you know in real life?

I don’t really know 11 blogs to tag, so I tag @starlitesymphony, @brigidglass, and @foxesfatewriting. Absolutely not mandatory!

#tag game #sorry this took forever lol real life's a bitch

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neurodivergentchaosking · 3 years

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Loving someone with NPD

It fucking sucks! I have bpd and if i was completely untreated, i would have been narcissist chow...more than i already was.

I have pretty decent intuition but it took a long time for me to actually follow it. I met (lets call her Mary) before i listened to it and created a huge blindspot that took me 6 years to fix.

We both arrived on Okinawa Island 24 hours a part, we shared a name and a birthday ( naturally my dumb ass was like OMG SOULMATE- after i stopped hating her). when i first met her, i hated her. I knew she was two-faced and i said so to her face. Few drunken weekends set that unfortunate Trauma bond in place.

I felt so special. She's two-faced and cruel to everyone but ME. my BPD ate that shit up. she even told me that she thought i was the category of “bimbo friend” until she got to know me.....and i actually took that as a compliment and mentally lorded it over her bimbo friends. it was a disaster. love-bomb, cruelty, rinse, repeat.

We were just friends at first, she thought she was straight, and i thought i was a girl- neither are true. We kissed once in a drunken haze and it was absolutely terrible, so it really never happened again. you know justgirlythings.

I was quite notorious (just because im built like a coke bottle and was put into the marine barracks and you know how boot lickers be) on the island because the Navy is just high-school 2.0. Mary never had my back through it all, she stayed friends with the people who started it and she ditched me all the time at her convenience . I was only on the island for 6 months, and right when i almost cut things off with Mary, i left on an expedited transfer (another tragic story for another tragic time). We stayed in contact via snapchat but honestly we didnt talk much.

Her bf was a bit of a loser and she was planning to leave him while planning their life together...look at that, another red flag that i took as a compliment because she left him for ME. fuck im so needy #narcissistchow.

I made a joke about her living with me, and she just went full throttle with that shit. So we got an apartment together, twas the beginning of the end and i fucking KNEW IT. i felt it in my gut and i remember thinking...but she’s so mean sometimes... like whyyyyyy dont i just listen to me???? ug anyways

Right before we got the apartment she released my cat into the urban wilderness and he was GONE, presumed dead. Quinn, my beautiful fur-baby, a 13 lb maincoone, fucking HATED HER, and he only hated dicks. so yeah she got rid of him and blamed it on my husband (my life is complex okay). we were obviously not doing great and i didn't think about it too hard until later (even though he has never left the door open, like ever).

It started out so much fun! the adventures and stories that we created together were amazing. she made me feel like it would be like this forever. Bit short-lived. she would insult, demean, and play fucked up mind games. Luckily for me she didn't get to feed of my pain the way she wanted because i don't exibxit vulnerable emotions (working on that), despite them eating away at me.

Her toxicity mirrored the way i was treated as a child, so i did what i did as a child. i shut down. I stopped therapy because i was masking too hard for it be helpful. i stopped my medications because idk if they're working because I'm so disconnected. My ocd tendencies that i got rid of as a child came back. Im never not high on MJ (still am because i don't want to FEEL)

And you know why i stayed? because she made me feel special, and wanted, and even more so needed. She is so fucking insecure and i was a constant source of validation and love. we had conversations and conversations about how we were meant for one another and the future we would create together. We even talked about the children we would raise together. we talked about how it was weird that we didn't want to fuck each-other (she looks like an incest muppet lmao) but we were in a beautiful (toxic*) polyamorous asexual relationship.

i was def not perfect in the relationship. i would do so much petty shit (like i did as a child). she would make me feel shitty about something, so i would show off one of my many talents that also was one of her many insecurities. hell, i would fuck up her hair ON PURPOSE. She had this insanely long blue hair that ended in a short red Karen cut lmao i am such a fucking asshole lmao. no regerts

but like also lets not forget the times she literally threatened to murder me....just saying. i may have been a dick, but she DESERVED it.

She kept treating me like shit and i did the non-traditional BPD thing and started setting boundaries for myself. like when she starts being a jerk, just walk away. just leave. also make her jelly with something to feel better lol.obvi that made her MEANER. so i took her out to eat and told her that she was treating me like absolute shit and it needed to sop...she starts bawling...making up shit about how her anxiety this and that and she's not gonna stop being a cunt so shel just move out.

idk why i even tried after that lunch but like whatever. i even sold her my car at a discount price - but now she has the perma reminder lol. i tried. she kept changing the date of her leaving, she just got meaner, and what FINALLY made things click. was she started ditching me and lying about it ( i may have tested it out and made her confess to it without her knowing- she is incredibly stupid). that was the one thing. the one thing i told myself if someone does that to me again, im done. so heyyy at least i stuck to my boundary even though i almost talked myself out of it. so i simply stopped talking to her. for WEEKS. she tried to start conversation, i ended them. she insulted me and i would flip it on her. i was DONE and she knew it. so our 6 year relationship literally ended by me in person ghosting her.

Finally the lease was up and that kinda forced her stupid ass into moving, however. she like half left and half left her stuff. but she left ferret shit fucking everywhere. on the deck, in the closet, smooshed into carpet, random bits of poo strewn about the room. shes fucking Nasty. i cleaned up the ferret poops with her clothes that was left behing...and i rubbed it on EVERYTHING including her dishes. i broke a couple items (some on accident even). stole a bunch of stuff...even a dead mans gift...yeah im PETTY... but i stacked all of her shit at the enterence of the apartment.

Time for pickup! she allotted herself 1.5 hours to pack everything and go to her new apartment that is 45 plus mins away. she comes in- overly exaggerates on thanking me for stacking her shit by the entrance. i immediately ask for the keys ...says okay but then “got distracted”, we did that 3 times till she finally gave me the keys... then i told her about the ferret poo and she claimed that she was gonna clean it today...BITCH IT TOOK ME OVER 3 HOURS FOR THE POOP CLEANUP ALONE...so yeah fuck her.

later that day i hang out with my new friend, lets call her Anna, who is on Marys snapchat- while Mary was putting her stuff in storage (something she swore shed never do) she was saying how pissed she is and how horribly i am for stacking her shit at the entrance. glad to see she's as two-faced as ever.

POST BREAKUP DRAMA:

1) she tried to get rid of everything i gave her but she cant unbuy my car lmao.

2) she got stranded in Texas because she ran out of gas....even though the car tells you how many miles it has before it runs out...like i said, she incredibly stupid

3) she tried to slither in my life by sending a pic via snap to Anna and then said “oops my finger slipped” ummm its snapchat and thats not how it works stupid ( and this is one of her go to ploys so like lol why?) it was also a pic of a boot that she gave me but its ugly so i gave it back. idk what her whole plan was but it backfire because Anna just blocked her.

4) Quinn came back <3

5) i am obsessed and cant seem to stop stalking her so now imma try just being crazy in blog form to see if my needy bpd self can CHILL. cuz ug i just want to stab her...like 37 times...in the face (it would be an improvement)

#long reads #long story #abuse #narccisistabuse #bpd #npd #neurodivergent love #queer #lgbtqia #petty #younglove #mental illness #chaos #crazy

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