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#cursing but that makes it lack any charm
hufflpuffin · 3 months
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What did they do to my girl Katara nooo
Ive only watched ep 1 so hopefully it gets better but man
No accidentally breaking the iceberg with her waterbending to show how powerful she unknowingly is, no standing up to Sokka's misogyny (no misogyny at all), no wanting to run away from her family because Aang is her best chance at learning waterbending but then deciding against it because she knows Sokka needs her, no talking Aang down from the avatar state. Ironically removing the misogyny from Sokka affects Katara just as bad because theres nothing for her to bite back at him about. Theres just nothing interesting about her personality at all
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un-lawliet · 2 months
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— A drabble about falling asleep on Gojo, and making him realise something he never even considered.
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You’re asleep before you even realise it, your head softly bouncing as your body slumps sideways.
Right onto Gojo’s shoulder.
Well, nearly.
The blindfolded man turns his head at the slight bump on his infinity, pausing briefly as he sees you sound asleep, a small crease in your brow as your body attempts to readjust into a more comfortable position.
That mission must have taken a lot more out of you than he had thought.
For such a well rounded sorcerer as yourself to fall asleep on the train ride home…Gojo finds himself frowning at his lack of perception.
He could have handled it for you, had you have asked him to, should you have voiced your exhaustion to him, he would have finished the mission quickly and walked you right to your bed.
You hadn’t been sleeping well recently, he had noticed that.
Being too caught up in trying to teach your students whilst also contributing to your part in the eradication of curses, left you a yawning mess, trailing your feet ever so slightly behind you as you walked.
You lack your usual air of charm, your eyes duller, and voice quiet, and Gojo finds himself, missing you a lot more than he believed he should.
When the pair of you return to Jujutsu Tech, Gojo makes a reminder in his head to take over the rest of your missions until you can promise him of your rest.
If you won’t take care of yourself, then he will.
For now though, the traces of a small smile can be seen on his lips, as your head finally hits the warmth of his shoulder, his technique forgotten for just a moment.
Allowing himself the feeling of your hair tickling his neck, and the weight of your sleep, he traces your eyebrow with his thumb, smirking as you sigh contently at his touch.
There’s an old woman, across from the pair of you, sitting with her bags stacked high on her knees, who whispers under her breath to her husband about the joy of young love, and how gentle it can make a man.
And Gojo finds himself growing fond at the thought, humming sweetly as he looks at your sleeping face, and how calm you look when against his frame.
The trains goes through a tunnel, darkness permeating the car for a brief moment.
You shuffle in your seat as the darkness becomes light once more, waking slightly at the sudden change in brightness.
Your head is resting on something…warm?
You blink slowly, taking in your surroundings before gazing up, alarm juxtaposing your peace.
You spring off his shoulder, eyes wide with concession.
“Oh my God!” You splutter out, your face burning with chagrin, your hands raising as if pleading for mercy.
Your relationship with Gojo is complicated already, you hate to make things more confusing than they need to be.
“I’m sorry!” You say, “I didn’t realise I-”
He cuts you off with a small shake of his head, a large hand reaching over to gently push your head back onto his shoulder, a chuckle leaving him as he does so.
“Relax.” He grins, and it’s the softest you’ve ever heard him speak, “If you’re tired, sleep. I’ll not stop you.”
And you breathe out and in, Gojo can feel it on his neck, trying not to shiver at the closeness of your breath.
“You don’t mind?” You whisper out, at last, unable to peer back up at him.
The hand that pushed you back to him trails down to rest on your waist, curling in to trace patterns on your skin. It makes you feel warm, and you bury your face deeper into his shoulder.
“Nah.” He replies simply, his voice sounding contemplative, as if coming to a realisation he had not yet realised he had to perceive.
And when he leaves a soft kiss on the top of your head, you feel yourself melt, feelings of confusion and any thought of hesitancy dissipating in the feeling of his delicate kiss.
“Not at all.”
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Masterlist <3
feel free to leave a request !
A/N: i miss my baby :(
sorry for being gone for FIVE MONTHS omfg ?????? that’s crazy, i’ve been going insane i think but i’m back and i’m here and i love everyone here and thank you so so so much for reading <3 this was just something small i wrote in half an hour just to bring myself back into the whole writing thing :) so please don’t take it too seriously !!!! i hope you are all doing well
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jinkiezzsstuff · 3 months
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Wing Grooming
lucifer x gn reader
warnings: i’ve written before but i don’t do it often so be aware, written on mobile, no mention of skin colour/bodytype/gender/hair type, no use of Y/N, slightly sexual but no real smut, cursing.
i love lucifer and i love the wings shtick <3 also i’ve worked with birds so im applying my knowledge of them here teehee
lemme know whatcha think this is only the second time homegirls written an xreader. also writing on tumblr sucks it deleted my shii so many times and i had to keep rewriting paragraphs
𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔗𝔴𝔬 :)
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Lucifer anxiously paced around his room in the hotel, unable to relax due to his wings, they were itchy. Normally he used various different objects to break the casting of new feathers, and remove those pesty pin feathers. He’s been so busy at the hotel recently, he completely neglected his feathers causing some unfortunate issues with his malt. After all he didn’t have only two he had a whole six, and it wasn’t easy to take care of all at once. In all honesty, Lucifer would rather cut them off before asking for assistance with preening them. Tossing his hat to the side his wings popped out unwillingly loose feathers flying around him. Curling the first set in front of him, he picked through to find the cause of the itch and discomfort. Chills ran up his back as his fingers gently searched through, they were sensitive from lack of care not to mention preening never failed to give him goose bumps. A knock sounded from his door making him jump, his wings puffing out around him. “Uh, ah, one moment.” He shouted in a sing songy voice, jumping to his feet from where he sat he hurried over eager to get back to preening.
Swining the door open you stood on the other side smiling with papers in your grasp. Keeping his wings hidden slightly behind him and the door he greeted you with a charming smile. "Hi luce, Charlie said these belonged to you something to do with the different rings?" Quirking your head to the side you observed the king with curiosity. He was visibly uncomfortable, fidgeting and shifting from side to side. "Are you alright?" He blew air out in a pft sound at you and stood a little straighter. "Just a little feather issues, you know how it can be..." Lucifer trailed looking off to the side trying hard to ignore the stinging itch that shot through one wing.
“Oh can I help in any way, if that’s not strange?” You ask innocently but Lucifer’s mind went immediately to the gutter with the thought of you tracing your hands down his back and his combing through feathers, it made him shiver with delight. Although his blush was evident and his demeanour dropped to a slightly more shy one, you remained waiting patiently for his answer. “It’s- uh, normally, i don’t let anybody touch them. Um, but you can! Of course..” He trailed switching between stretching himself up with confidence and shrinking down again with doubt, regardless of his apprehension he still stood aside opening the door wider for you to enter. “It’s just the preening process is all. Difficult to reach.” Lucifer muttered as you welcome yourself into his room. With a bright smile you reassured him that you would do as he asked and you’d rather help than have him be stuck with that icky discomfort.
Setting the paperwork down on a table, Lucifer closed the door and lingered next to a bench sofa whistling as his wings flapped him at random behind him. Turning to him he looked a little shy still not fully meeting your gaze. Unsure of what exactly to do but you gave him an assuring smile. “I don’t have to do this, I can get Charlie to?”
Lucifer laughed quickly shaking his head. “Ha ha, no that would make things worse actually, you’re much preferred! Just y’know it’s a lot to work on.” Plopping down on the bench he outstretched his wings behind him on full display for you, his heart pounding against his ribs. You felt a zap of emotion shoot through you at the admission that you were wanted by him for this job.
It wasn't a secret Charlie's dad woo'd you the moment he waltzed in the door, but your loyalty was with Charlie and you didn't want to disrespect her by eye fucking her divorced father while he's here to help. Although Charlie seemed pretty enthralled that her father was making an effort to spend time with her friends, even elbowing you and whispering that he seemed to particularly enjoy conversation with you.
After that it was harder to ignore the way you felt for the King, Charlie would constantly drop not so subtle hints that her dad took a liking to you and that caused your mind to wander and fantasize. From there on you got more confidence putting yourself in situations to catch him alone in conversation or help him with different tasks he had to complete. Beginning your work on his wings, you hummed quietly to yourself easily spotting several pin feathers coming in that needed to have the keratin shell taken off. Carefully you split the feathers away and massaged off the shells one by one listening to Lucifers pleasant hms, groans and sighs. He visibly slumped, and his body rested just barely against your thigh as you worked on the very top wing. “These look pretty cluttered hun, have you been struggling to care for them?” You didn’t even notice the pet name slip as you called everyone off handed pet names, but Lucifer did notice and it brought him a warmth he hadn’t felt in a very long time. Sweetly talking to him about his wings without judgement, combing them comfortingly, humming like an angel just to him. It felt as good as when his ex wife was still around caring for his wings. It’d been so long since someone was by his side caring for him like this.
Lucifer never responded properly to your question about upkeep only humming in a trance like state as you worked your way through the top set of wings "You're so good at this, sheesh, I wish you'd do this all the time." You blushed faltering slightly which Lucifer panicked about, tensing and opening his eyes. "Of course i'm only spit balling, heh, it's just so relaxing like a sauna!" Shaking your head you moved down to the last set of feathers not missing the way he shuddered with your touch. "It's alright i don't mind that you say that. It feels nice actually, to help you." Lucifer didn't say anything feeling suddenly heated as ever as if hell wasn't hot enough. The feathers closest to his hips were unsurprisingly the most sensitive and the touches although innocent felt suggestive to him. The King felt dirty for feeling a euphoric sense of pleasure ripple through his bodv and straight to his junk while you unknowly worked through his feathers. “You okay? Did I hurt you?" You asked noticing his breath picking up and his body stiffening. Lucifer grinned and turned to look at you you meeting his gaze and seeing just how dazed he truly was. "I'm just... well,"
It was like his throat closed as he looked back at you crouched down to get at the last row of feathers that were draped along the floor. The king swallowed snapping his head forward again. “Ahem, I’m sensitive, good, sensitive.” He had hoped you understood his insinuations. Which you had. Breathing in deeply you flattened your hand out spreading your fingers and combing through the feathers more methodically from the base of his wings and outward. That cause him to jump up standing straight, you followed in persuit, panicking that you crossed a big line. His wings twitched but he stayed staring forward rigid, you quickly walked around the bench calling to him softly. “Lucifer i am so sorry if i crossed the line, that, that was unacceptable i’m so sorry.” To which Lucifer spun to you, face red, grabbing your shoulders he smiled a somewhat embarrassed smile. “No no, that was completely fine, i just,” Lucifer pulled away tucking his hands away from you, again which was kind of upset you.
“I think if we continue that, type of grooming, I won’t be able to control myself.” Although still shy about his admission his eyes were half lidded and his smile sly. You felt fire explode in your stomach all innocence out the window as your mind settled on one thought. You were gonna bang your friends divorced dad.
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ddarker-dreams · 17 days
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i imagine blade completely forgot what embarrassment and awkwardness felt like until he fell for his darling
blade thinks he's dying for real because of the agony he's experiencing but silver wolf casually remarks that no, it's this little thing called self-awareness.
"you're an old man with zero game," she deadpans. "i'd be cringing too."
blade thinks this attack on his character over. is it true? does he lack this supposed... 'game?' for the first time in ages, he assesses his physical presentation. he appears far more civilized than when kafka and sam plucked him from his mindless wandering. he's made progress since then! he no longer meanders about covered in gore! however, he recognizes his shortcomings (a little too much). blade views himself as an abomination that has no business existing in the first place.
does he deserve to pursue you? it's a question he frequently wrestles with. there must be more suitable partners that aren't 700+ years old, cursed, and wanted throughout the universe. thinking this way doesn't make him feel much better. if anything, highlighting his own shortcomings makes it clear the gap between you is wider than he'd care to admit. you could do better, but selfishly, he doesn't want you to.
so he seeks to charm you in any way he can.
(namely, by staring at you unblinkingly, glaring at others who soak up your attention, and leaving trinkets at your doorsteps).
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Astarion Very Happy Ending
So full disclosure, my Tav was a Selunite, and I can't stop thinking well if Bhaal can have a mortal chosen one, why can't Selune?
Also, spoiler warning, stop reading here if you don't want, but like damn girl I freaking turn a Shar priestess away from her god back to you, free a man from his devil's contact, high-key save the world, kill bhaals chocen, convince my vampiric lover to not sacrifice thousands of people, stop an entire goblin army from murdering Tieflings and druids alike, and literally free your daughter. A reward is in order!
This is that reward:
Astarion was slowly getting used to living in the shadows again, as loathe as he was to admit it. It was quite the transition, despite the fact that his time in the sun had amounted to less than a year. But what a lovely year it was. Nearly a perfect one in comparison to the rest of his life. And the promise of more of the same was a suitable balm to being cursed back into the darkness.
It was difficult, but with the love of his life by his side it was more than tolerable. Borderline beautiful in fact, to be able to live his life so freely despite the infuriating complications.
The money also certainly helped.
That was one thing Astarion always had over his brothers and sisters, his fantasies of a better life had always surrounded around Cazador's murder. Not his approval. He may have been completely unaware of the horrifying dungeon beneath their feet, but he did know where the deed to his estate and other properties were kept. And now had enough connections with the higher up's of Baldur's gate for some frankly exquisite forgeries. It had been a particularly satisfying feeling to sell all of his former master's possessions off, even more so when it came to the land. Almost like he was tearing apart his legacy and handing it off to the highest bitter, piece by piece.
Though, being there with you to find and settle in your own little corner of paradise was an even better feeling. Maybe it didn't quite reach his past dreams of grandeur, but it turned out settling in a quaint and poorly lit townhouse in the upper city was more than enough for him to be satisfied.
It was a good charming life, one that Astarion was sure he didn't deserve. But that certainly wasn't going to stop him from enjoying it. Though as much as he adored where he ended up, he'd be lying if he said it was perfect.
No, perfect would have been finding a way for him to ascend without becoming a monster, living in a world where he could be with you fully, completely, out in the sun like the kind of lover you deserved. It made him feel... startlingly inadequate. Everything you did had to be in accordance to his schedule. His lack of capabilities. And just because you always insisted it didn't matter didn't fix the feeling of inadequacy. He hated it, hated the fact that there were so many hours of the day that you couldn't share. He didn't regret his choice, not for a moment, but that didn't mean he was fully satisfied with the consequences.
But in his own defense, he did make up for it in other ways. Mildly frustrating and draining ways, if not a bit rewarding. It had been his own fault, falling so utterly and completely for such a goody two-shoes. A zealot to Selune, as fierce as she was compassionate, always trying to do what was fair and just. Always dragging Astarion on for the ride of her cleric duties.
But he couldn't blame you for all of his new do-gooder ways. Not when he was nearly the leader of a bizarre cult of repentant vampire spawn.
It was just the slightest bit exhausting to so often be playing the part of their heroic leader, fighting all of his murderous instincts to work for a better future for himself and the brethren he had personally damned. Though he'd be lying if he said he didn't get any satisfaction from it. It felt... good to teach them new ways to live. To give them the chance at the beautiful life he had managed to secure for himself.
He wouldn't do it forever, just until he was confident enough to be sure that his departure wouldn't lead to a massacre on either side. Then the two of you would be off to explore the lands, working to do your goddesses work with just a touch of hedonistic activities on the way.
Astarion was looking forward to it. He hadn't done all that work to be selfless forever. No, he was going to be forced to insist on a few years of having you all to himself, with only the occasional bits of volunteer work for the temple as interruption. Then the two of you could go back to galivanting about the lands being local heroes. But he had earned an extended vacation.
One that, luckily, he hadn't had to fight you on too much. That was just one other thing he loved about you, your complete understanding that Astarion would always be a little selfish, especially when it came to you. The one person who had ever really been his, who loved him, who understood him, who believed in him. Could he be blamed for wanting to have you all to himself?
And admittedly, he did have you more often then not. Even if on occasion he did have to share with your beloved goddess.
Astarion sighed as he watched you pray in the moonlight, completely absorbed in your quiet, mystical chants. Despite his distaste for the length of your prayer sessions, Astarion did like seeing your more ritualistic side. Just... maybe not for the morally correct reasons.
He was well aware that being so involved with a vampire was clearly against your religious doctrine. But it didn't matter. You still choose him, despite how the knowledge nearly made you an outcast amongst your own kind. But he mattered more than your reputation, more than the lessons you had been taught your entire life regarding love and evil.
You still had your faith, but you never let it shake the faith you had in him, something that he valued more than he could ever express. It was perhaps a sick thought, but it also made him feel exceedingly powerful, to know the true extent of your feelings. Even more connected. It was almost... like he was defiling you, corrupting a beautiful flower to turn away from the sun to something even brighter. A love that Astarion doubted most could ever hope to feel.
Perhaps that was not the best outlook on your religion, but oh well. He'd keep those thoughts to himself. What you didn't know wouldn't kill you. Besides... if anyone had been corrupted it was him, plagued with a new sense of loyalty and gods, justice. All from the beautifully strange woman kneeling in the moonlight.
Though, you sure were taking awhile tonight. Nearly twice as long as your usual nightly prayer. He hated to interrupt your worship but this was starting to cut into his time a bit here.
"My dear," Astarion called out, swinging his legs over your shared bed to stand, "Don't you think that you've been kneeling there for a touch too long?"
But you didn't respond, still muttering under your breath, even faster than before.
Astarion narrowed his eyes as he walked closer towards you, confused by your lack of response, "Darling-Tav?"
Astarion stopped, eyes wide as he got a solid look at your first. Your eyes were wide open, body rim rod straight as your irises glowed a vibrant blue light.
What in the nine hells was happening? Astarion kneeled next to you, his heart in his throat as he shook your shoulders, "Tav, love, can you hear me? What is this?"
You didn't answer, you didn't even acknowledge his presence. But you did start floating in the god damn air. Astarion stared, helpless as he watched you levitate, words that he didn't understand spilling from your lips.
Then just as suddenly as it started, it stopped. You fell unceremoniously to the floor. Astarion scrambled towards you, his heart in his throat as you started to come to. He settled your head in his lap, his hands shaking as he touched your face, lost on what he should be doing.
You blinked your eyes open slowly, that angelic glow still radiating from your irises. But you didn't look frightened, more... excited.
You grinned up at him, your voice slightly cracking when you murmured, "We've been blessed."
Astarion stared at you, brow furrowed. He was happy you were alive and speaking but...
"That's lovely?" Astarion tried, "But severely lacking in terms of an explanation. Are you okay?"
You nodded eagerly, suddenly sitting up with an unexpected amount of energy, "I'll explain later, we don't have much time."
What was it that compelled you religious types to be so cryptic? But you didn't give him anytime to question. Instead you wrapping your arms around his neck and smashing your lips together, kissing him hard enough to take his breath away.
He wrapped strong arms around your back, pulling you in closer, always helpless but to return your affection. But something about this was different. He could feel it, holy magic spreading through him through your lips, down throughout his veins, changing something inside of him. It wasn't unpleasant per say, but it certainly was startling. Startling enough for him to almost push you away, if it wasn't for the fact that he trusted you with everything inside of himself.
Neither of you pulled away until the blue fire in your eyes had died out, and Astarion was left with the intense sensation that something had changed, irrevocably inside of him.
You stared at each other, Astarion in confusion while you looked nothing short of gleeful, "Do you feel it?"
He felt... strange. A warmth still spreading through him that was settling. Astarion raised a brow at you, exceedingly impatient when he asked, "First, how about you explain to me what in the hells that was?"
But you didn't answer. Instead you stood with an adorable hop, lending a hand out to help him up, "Do you trust me?"
Astarion almost rolled his eyes as he took your hand, annoyed that he fell for someone that had just as much of a flair for the dramatic as he did, "You know I do."
You helped him to his feet before you started to mumble again, a startlingly familiar incantation seeping from your lips. It was the spell for daylight, the very same that you had used to help defeat Cazador. The kind that could now kill Astarion in mere moments.
He was too shocked at your audacity to even protest, believing for a split, terrifying second that he was about to die a fiery death. Sunlight suddenly filled the room, bright enough for Astarion to tightly shut his eyes.
Then...nothing. No burning, no pain, nothing but the sounds of you both breathing.
That didn't-how was he-what did you just do?
Astarion stared at you, absolutely flabbergasted with his mouth hanging open, staring at the borrowed daylight like a simpleton, "But how?"
You were still grinning ear to ear, looking happier than Astarion had ever seen you before. You grasped his hands in yours, your smile gentle as you explained, "I told you. We were blessed. Our Lady of Silver gave me one gift, and this is what I choose."
If sunlight wasn't already staring him in the face, Astarion would never believe it. But here he was, alive and standing under it's warmth. A gift from a goddess, spent on him of all creatures.
"It can't fix everything," You clarified with the slightest frown, "But it can fix this."
He could feel the truth in your words. He was still... wrong. A creature born of something awful, doomed to eternity and a life of bloodlust. But part of that wrongness had been culled, curling up and dying from Selune's holy magic, from your enduring love.
It was a dream he never thought possible. One that he had accepted never having. But here he was, here you were, continuing to give him the impossible.
It was enough to bring tears to his eyes. Astarion reached up, cupping your face before confessing the truth he couldn't quell.
"I don't deserve you," He whispered, voice hoarse, "I'll never deserve you. Words can't express my thanks. You have given me everything, while I have nothing but myself to give in return. But it's always yours. Everything inside of me."
He meant every word, he always would. Until his last breath.
You shook your head, gentling cooing at him, "This is a time for celebration my love, not for doubt. You've earned this."
He hadn't. And he doubted you'd ever be able to convince him he had. But he'd still take it. Gladly.
"I love you," Astarion murmured, helpless to say anything else. He pressed his lips against yours, the gravity of his new life just starting to settle in his mind.
He was free, as free as he could ever hope for. You had achieved what Cazador could not, all without a hint of malice or horrifying sacrifice. But through kindness, love, and perseverance. You had already freed him once from his own mental shackles, his last remaining ties to the tyrant that made him.
And now you've done it again, saving him from at least a portion of the taint on his soul.
It was beautiful, wonderful, and Astarion would never waste a moment of it.
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turtletaubwrites · 2 months
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Wrong Side of the Bars
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Thank you anon for this lovely request, and thank you all for voting on which wip I worked on next! I hope you enjoy it! 🐊
Pairings: Crocodile x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3990
Ao3 Link
Summary: Your promotion landed you in hell, otherwise known as Level 6 of Impel Down. All you wanted to do was work this shit job so you could move on up, but there's one prisoner that won't leave you alone. It turns out those long nights go by faster with a bit of company.
Author's Note: Oh, Sir Crocodile 🐊🥰 I would cave so fucking fast
Rating/Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ ONLY, MDNI, AFAB!Reader, She/Her Pronouns for Reader, Reader-Insert, Swearing, Smut, Pet Names, Praise Kink, Size Kink, Large Cock, Cunnilingus, Face-Sitting, Vaginal Fingering, Blow Jobs, Spit, Prison Sex, Penis in Vagina Sex, Unprotected Sex, (stay safe out there!), Hair-Pulling, Possessive Behavior, Come Eating, Biting, Bondage, Power Imbalance, I'd Commit Felonies For This Man
| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
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“You’re new.”
He wasn’t the first prisoner to try to talk to you, but he was the first that you made eye contact with. You cursed yourself for that, not wanting to make any sort of connection with these monsters as you pushed their meals through the slots, and monitored the hell that was Level 6. 
“What’s a pretty thing like you doing trapped down here in the muck?”
Sir Crocodile. 
You had studied all of the terrifying prisoners you’d be guarding, but there was something about this man that scared you. 
That fear had to show on your face as he smirked down at you. He was so tall, at least a couple feet taller than you, and the scar that tore his face in half across his cheekbones had your mouth going dry. 
He chuckled as he leaned down, the handcuffs clinking against metal as he rested his forearms on the bars, his hands dangling out of the cell. 
Not hands. Hand. And a gleaming metal hook. 
“Stay in your cell,” you ordered, backing up too fast as his smile widened. 
Why the fuck did they let him keep that thing? It looks fucking deadly. 
“My apologies, miss…” he paused, pulling his arms back as he waited for you to fill in the blank. 
“You may address me as ‘guard.”
He didn’t.
Sir Crocodile called you “pretty thing” every shift. 
It didn’t help that the guard post station was right next to his fucking cell. You knew this was going to be a shit job, but you were working your way up, and this promotion could get you placed somewhere cushier in the long run. Plus, the berries they had to pay to convince anyone to come down here was impressive. 
These prisoners were the worst of the worst, and working down here was never going to be easy. 
But you didn’t expect to have silver eyes watching your every move, matched by that silver tongue that got you flustered all too easy. You were too embarrassed to ask the other guards if he treated them the same way. 
~
“How’s your morning going, pretty thing?”
“It’s nighttime,” you deadpanned, grimacing that you’d answered him again. It had only been a couple of weeks, but it was getting harder to ignore the only person you could talk to during these long shifts in the cold, dark, gloom of Impel Down. 
“I guess it doesn’t matter down here,” he hummed, sitting on the floor close to the bars to see you better. 
There aren’t even any other prisoners in this section. They were all on death row, and now I’m stuck posted next to this… this…
Admitting it to yourself pissed you off, but Crocodile was charming. And fucking hot. 
He rested his head on his fist while he smirked at you, and you braced yourself for more of that deep voice. 
“Why are you down here?”
The lack of the nickname added to the genuine tone in his words, and you gave in.
“I got a promotion.”
Crocodile leaned back, surprised laughter booming through the air. Your skin flushed, and he squinted up at you as he shook his head. 
“You’re joking, right? A pretty thing like you, stuck in the dark? Bringing slop to bad men like me? That can’t be a fucking promotion,” he balked, tapping his hook against the bars to emphasize his point. 
Gritting your teeth, you kept your eyes away from that cell as the ex warlord laughed softly to himself for the rest of your shift. 
~
“What’s it like to have devil fruit powers,” you asked, tapping fingers on your desk as you stared at him. Barely a month had gone by, and now you were spending hours every shift talking to this dangerous criminal. 
“It’d be a lot more enjoyable without this tacky jewelry,” he complained, waving the sea prism stone cuffs in the air. 
“Maybe you should’ve thought of that before going all evil.”
Ice sunk to your gut as you caught his eyes. You had a feeling he was not someone to disrespect, even if he was locked up. 
“I like you,” he announced, huffing a laugh. 
The praise had you digging your fingers into your thighs, your voice a bit too high for the rest of the night. 
~
“Are you seeing someone?”
“Excuse me,” you coughed, sitting up from your too relaxed position.
“I can’t imagine you have a lot of options on this rock,” he wondered aloud, tilting his head down toward you. “It has to be pretty lonely.”
Chills ran over your body as his voice went low, those innocent words laced with the promise of sin. 
“That’s none of your business,” you scoffed, breathy as you tried not to squirm. 
“I suppose not,” he hummed, leaning against the bars. “But you work such a stressful job. I bet you need someone to help you relax a bit. I know you deserve it.”
It was like his words were on your skin, heating you up. You didn’t realize just how fucking pent up you were until he started torturing you. 
“I’d never ask you to let me out,” he assured, raising his arms in front of him, rattling the chain between his cuffs. “I know you don’t have the key to these cuffs, so there wouldn’t be a point in leaving this cage on my own anyway.”
“I’m not letting you–”
“Like I said, pretty thing, I won't leave this cell until these cuffs are gone. But I do want to give you some relief. You could join me in here for a while. We’ve got all night, no one else is around. Wouldn’t you like a little help with all of that stress?”
“No– I…” you choked out, shaking your head.
How could I let things go this far? I’ve been so unprofessional, talking to him like this.
Crocodile interrupted your internal criticism with a laugh, his eyes pouring over you. 
“No worries, doll. I’m sure you’ll be thinkin’ about it later. You know where to find me when you change your mind.”
“Don’t you mean if,” you corrected, trying to gain some footing back. 
“No,” he teased, giving you a sly wink before turning away, laying on his cot as he hummed to himself. 
Your thoughts turned to chaotic noise as your brain tried to delete that conversation. Staring at his back while he laid down for the rest of your shift, you willed yourself to have some sense of self preservation. 
Finally in your own bed, you closed your eyes, hoping to see nothing but inky blackness. 
But all you could see were silver eyes, a golden hook, and a devilish smile. 
Fuck.
~
“Why should I trust you?”
Your hoarse whisper raised his brow as he stood in front of you, your own body closer to the bars than you’d normally risk. 
“I won’t survive this place alone with these cuffs on, and I’m not stupid enough to risk it. I’m fucking bored, and I could use some company. Why would I hurt the only pretty thing I get to see down here?”
Trusting this criminal would be insane. I could lose my job. I could be thrown behind bars. He could fucking kill me, even without his devil fruit powers. Don’t fucking do this. Don’t be a fucking idiot. Don’t–
“Okay,” you breathed, your crime barely audible as he watched your guilty lips. 
Crocodile’s crooked grin made you shiver, and you caught yourself chewing on your lip to keep from returning a shy smile. 
“Such a good girl,” he teased, stepping away from the bars. “I’m gonna take care of you.”
His praise and his promise ran through you like electricity, and your body twisted with need while you struggled with the keys. 
“Take your time, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”
Even his laughter felt delicious, like you needed to get closer, to taste it on your tongue. 
The heavy click of metal stopped your breath, and Crocodile stood as still as a statue while the door swung open. He didn’t move a muscle, as if trying not to spook you. 
Each step damned you further, until you were in the monster’s cage. You locked yourself in, the cold ring of keys stuffed into your pocket as you turned to face him. 
Crocodile looked at you with such satisfaction that it made your toes curl, as if you’d already given him everything. It only took him a couple of steps to cross the room, and in a moment you were staring up at him, your body on fire with anticipation. 
The chain of the cuffs stretched as he reached his hand to your cheek. That large thumb was so gentle as it stroked your skin, and you let out a sigh. 
Then you gasped, his thumb just a distraction for that golden hook as it pulled at your collar, that sharp point dangerously close to your throat. 
“Take these off before I ruin your little uniform.”
The words could have been a request, a command, or a threat, but the heat in his voice had you pulling at your tie, frantic to obey him. 
Just as you tossed the last bit of clothing to the side, he knelt down to kiss you, pressing the bare skin of your back against the metal bars. 
Crocodile kissed you with more care than you’d expected, as if he were eating a fine meal, tasting every note, enjoying the luxury he’d earned or taken. As you opened to him, he explored you, his large tongue so controlled. 
Until you needed more, digging your nails into his slicked back hair, moaning into his mouth.
Thick fingers trailed between your thighs until they pulled away wet. He chuckled at the little whines you let out when he broke contact, tasting you on his fingers. 
“So eager,” he hummed, resisting your grabby hands to pull him back in. “Hang on to the bars.”
You were glad for the order, because the sight of this menacing villain lying on his back, and sliding his head between your legs would have knocked you over.
“Don’t be shy, pretty thing. Let me take care of all that stress for ya.”
I can’t believe this is happening. 
He laughed as you turned around, mumbling that 'the other way was fine,' before you lowered yourself down. 
The first touches were like that kiss, controlled and steady. He pressed his lips against your clit, then his tongue explored, just as gentle as before.
Your hips squirmed above him as you held yourself up, until he growled against your flesh. That sensation alone sent your eyes rolling back, then his hand gripped your waist to shove you down. His hook was trapped behind your back, the chain of his cuffs rubbing against your ass with every movement. 
All the control he’d shown before was gone, and you bit one of your wrists not to scream. Looking down into those wicked eyes was a mistake, as you had to fight your body not to collapse, not to send his name echoing through this desolate, stone hell. 
His tongue was so long, you couldn’t believe how deep he could taste you. He invaded you, trying to eat his way inside your body, like a dog chewing through a bone. More of his moans and growls vibrated through you as you rode along the planes of his face. 
“Fuck, oh gods, I’m…” you choked out, your knuckles turning white against the bars as you came on this criminal’s face. 
His grip on you stayed firm as you spasmed, forcing you to stay in place while he lapped up your pleasure. 
“Holy shit,” you breathed, still twitching when he finally released you. You’d barely laid beside him when he was on you, filling your mouth with the taste of you as you shivered against the stone floor. 
“You taste too fucking good to be trapped down here,” he rasped between kisses, trailing his lips down your jaw and neck. 
“I’m not trapped.”
His teeth clamped down, just the threat of a bite at the crook of your neck. Your breath caught, your body unable to hide the fact that it was more excited than afraid to have this predator at your throat. 
Crocodile gave your body what it wanted, pressing his teeth into your flesh slowly, tracing his fingers along your thigh. You melted as the pressure grew sharp, your eyes fluttering as you gave him a breathy moan. 
His tongue teased over the mark he’d made, and you were grateful for your uniform’s high collar before you forgot who and where you were again. 
His fingers took that moment to find you, two plunging into your still twitching cunt. He kissed you again, tasting your moans as he added another thick finger.
Digging your nails into his arms, you struggled to breathe through his kiss as he stretched and played with you. 
“Come here, pretty thing,” he teased, helping you move unsteadily toward the cot. He leaned over you, kissing your temple before breathing more promises against your ear, sending chills over your skin. 
“I’m gonna fuck all of that stress out of your perfect, little body,” he whispered, letting you hang onto him as you gasped. “But first, you're gonna use that pretty mouth to get my cock nice and messy for you, alright?”
“Mhm,” you agreed, biting your lip as you watched him toss his thin pillow to the floor. He smirked at you before tugging down his striped pants. Kicking them out of the way, he sat on the bed with his legs spread wide. Those heavy balls hung down over the side of the mattress while you stared at his veiny cock. 
“It’ll fit, sweetheart,” he winked, resting his arms and cuffs between his legs as he waited for you. “Just get it nice and wet for me, and I’ll show you.”
You’d already thrown out every last bit of self preservation the second you walked into this cell, so you sank down to your knees on the pillow, and looked up at him. 
He was so scary.
But the satisfied way he looked at you made you want to say yes to anything, just to keep those silver eyes on your skin. He lifted his arms over you until you were caged between his long legs and the meat of his body, with the chains on his wrists tickling your back. 
Taking him in your hands, you almost lost your nerve as you moved along that velvet girth, but his deep voice pulled you back.
“Mm, just like that, beautiful.”
Desperate for more of that praise, you pressed your lips to his swollen tip. His mouth parted when you tasted that bead of precum, teasing it around his tip with your tongue while your hands kept stroking his length.
The noises he made were low and pleased as you took what you could of him into your mouth. You gave everything, tasting and sucking him becoming your only purpose, spurred on by more intoxicating words. 
“So gorgeous with your mouth all full. Just a little sloppier now. You can drool on my cock like a good girl, can’t ya?”
Moaning around him, you let as much spit as you could drip down his shaft, gasping when he grabbed your hair to pull him off of you.
A line of spit connected your lips to his cock as you blinked up at him. His eyes were dark, and you whimpered as he tightened his fingers in your hair, the sensation arching your back. 
“Lay down,” he commanded as he released your hair, standing slowly to tower above you. He tugged the thin blanket off the bed with his hook, holding it out to you with a dangerous tilt to his head. 
Spreading the fabric across the rough floor, you laid down with the pillow under your head. He watched your every move, his stillness making your breath shallow again. 
You didn’t just want to be meek prey for this crocodile to devour. You wanted to devour him back. 
I want this. 
Meeting his dark eyes with your own, you spread your thighs, teasing your fingers over your clit. 
“I’m wait–”
Crocodile went to his knees, cutting you off with a laugh. He caged you in with his elbows above your head, the sound of metal hitting stone making you gasp. 
“Barely had a taste, and my pretty thing's already greedy? Show me where you want it,” he taunted, rubbing that thick length through your folds. 
Just the touch of him had your eyes rolling back, but you obeyed. You wrapped shaky fingers around him, guiding him to your entrance before you tried, and failed, to relax. 
“Breathe deep for me, babydoll. You want me to fill you up, don’t you,” he rasped, pressing just the tip of him inside, already bringing a moan to your lips. 
“That’s right,” he praised as you tried not to squirm away from his slow invasion. “I knew you’d love taking my cock. Mm, I felt that. Is that what you want, pretty thing? You want mean ol’ Crocodile to fuck you deep?”
The stretch had taken your thoughts, left you with tears in your eyes, and the hint of drool in the corner of your lips. 
All you could do was pant, and whine, and beg. 
“Please, fuck me, Crocodile. I–”
He hadn’t met your hips yet, but he drew himself out and started fucking into you, tearing a scream from your throat.
Without stopping, he brought his large hand to cover your mouth, the chain of his cuffs hitting against the top of your head with every thrust. 
Crocodile slowed down, rocking his hips up into you. He pushed further, until you were shaking at the sensation of him fully hilted, stretching you further than you’d ever felt. 
His hand left your face as his voice rolled over you again. 
“As much as I wanna hear you screaming my name, you’ve gotta keep it down. Can you do that for me, pretty?”
“Mhm,” you whined, needing him to start moving again.
Another filthy scream left your throat, until you choked on two large fingers. 
“Looks like you need to practice your fucking manners, sweetheart,” he scolded, gagging your screams away while he fucked you across the stone floor, the blanket slipping away bit by bit with each powerful thrust. 
Every single thing about this moment was overwhelming, and as much as Crocodile’s praise had sent you leaping into danger, his scolding words made you shatter into pieces. Your orgasm crashed over you, your nails raking over any part of him you could reach while pleasure made your body thrash. 
“Fuuckk, you’re taking my cock so well.”
He emphasized those words with his body, filling you completely, over and over again 
“When I get out of here, I’m taking you with me. No more dungeons for my perfect, pretty thing. You hear me?”
He huffed a laugh when you moaned around his fingers again, then his thrusts went ragged as he gave you more orders. 
“Come for me while I fill you up, pretty. Play with that little clit. I wanna feel this pussy milking– Ha, you’re such a good girl.”
You were barely human anymore, with your eyes crossed as drool trailed down your cheek where his fingers pressed into your mouth, and your spasming flesh that begged for more abuse as he fucked you into the stone. 
“So good for me,” he grunted, pumping into you a few more times as you felt his thick cock pulsing and twitching. “My pretty thing…”
The heat and pressure of his come pouring into you had you arching your back, whimpering around his fingers as he whispered those last few words, claiming you in ways he couldn’t mean. 
You were fucking lost. As unreal as the night had seemed, it felt as if it were the only real night you’d ever had. All the adrenaline and pleasure had made you fucking high, and you were still reeling when he left you empty. He pulled you gently until your head was in his lap as he sat against the wall, wiping the drool from your cheek. 
“So, how’s that stress now, babydoll? Feel better,” he asked with that crooked smile.
“Fuck,” your breathed, your eyes going wide with panic as the real fucking world crawled back into your brain. 
I’m fucked. I’m gonna get fired, or arrested, or fucking killed, or–
“Hm. Looks like you need another round to clear that up for you.”
A nervous laugh escaped you, and you clamped your hand over your mouth, afraid of him again. 
“Don’t worry,” he rasped, licking his lips as he looked down your body. “I’ll just clean up the mess I made. Then you can pretend you never let Sir Crocodile fuck you in his dirty prison cell. Is that what my pretty thing wants?”
Your mind was still screaming, but your body knew. It wanted that skilled tongue to drink every drop of him out of you, and he laughed again when you moaned at the thought. 
The ex warlord was gentle, cleaning the evidence with his tongue, and bringing you to bliss one more time as he sucked on your clit like a piece of candy. He kissed along your body, a mix of teasing and praise floating over you, until his gentleness ended. 
“What,” you groaned, blinking your eyes open while he shook your face with a firm grip on your jaw. 
“It’s time to go sweetheart.”
“Oh. Oh.”
The criminal sat on his cot, grinning at you while you panicked, teetering on one foot when you pulled your pants on. 
“Is everything–”
“You look fine,” he soothed, still smirking. “You look like a guard, although you’re still on the wrong side of the bars.”
Nodding too fast, you pulled the heavy keys out of your pocket, but they clattered to the floor as fingers twisted into your hair. 
Crocodile yanked you toward him, the sensation of him holding you this way going from delicious to terrifying in seconds. All you could do was stare up into those cold eyes, all of your self defense training evaporating in the presence of such a predator. 
“I may be stuck in this cage for now,” he warned, leaning his face down to yours, “but you’re mine. Do you understand?”
Your body responded before you could think, your eyes rolling back as you gasped.
“There’s my pretty thing,” he praised, kissing away the fear as he loosened his grip on your hair. “Now go get some rest. You’ve got a long night of work ahead of you tomorrow, don’t you?”
Sitting at the guard post for the rest of your shift felt surreal. You knew that you had stepped out of that cell, and locked the door. You knew that he was still trapped, and you were still free. But even though you were the one with his mark left on your body, it felt like he’d kept a piece of you in that cage with him. 
Still, your mind and body struggled between fear, and the memories of his voice and his touch while you pleaded with the clock for your shift to end so you could take a fucking shower.
Crocodile left you alone for once, this little corner of hell silent for the first time in weeks. Yet, you knew he wasn’t asleep. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see him sitting on his cot, darkness shrouding everything except for the faint gleam of gold. 
The shift finally ended, and your steps echoed through the hall. The words you’d heard at the end of every shift for weeks met your ears again, but now they set you on fire, fear and desire speeding your pulse.
“Goodnight, pretty thing.”
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Likes, comments, and reblogs bring me much ✨dopamine✨ thank you so much!
a/n: Shit job, but the benefits sound nice 😈🐊
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Tag List: @shewrites02 | @jadeddangel
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Operation Olive Branch has compiled a working spreadsheet of ways to help families fleeing from the genocide in Palestine. If you enjoyed this fic, and are able, please click the link to find a list of GoFundMe's, as well as other ways to help.
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| masterlist | about me | rules | ao3 |
405 notes · View notes
hor3nee · 3 months
Text
• Vows •
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Gojo figuring out how arranged marriage works.
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CW/TW: Fem! reader, Arranged Marriage, Heavy suggestive stuff, Mentions of virginity, Condoms?, Gojo typical flirting, Reader & Gojo ages implied to be very young (18-23), SFW (Lmk if I should add anything else!)
Characters: Gojo x Reader
AN: Pt 2 of this fic. I will die on this bitchless Gojo hill.
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"You look as beautiful as the day I married you hon'." He says with his characteristic wide smile, proud of himself for that line. Even threw in a sweet pet-name, the kind girls like.
"You married me, like, two weeks ago." He should not be proud of himself for that line.
The silence is almost deafening after that, and Gojo hates the quiet. Can't stand it. He's not used to it, he's loud and obnoxious, he's self-aware of that though, part of his charm he says. Charm, he's got an endless bountiful of it, in his ego-ridden mind at least, and honestly, he's not wrong. There's absolutely nothing Gojo lacks.
Killing curses as though it's walking through a park, handing out checks like he's got an unlimited supply of them. A living breathing powerhouse, a god even, some could say. He's young, a very young man, but he's already hailed by Jujutsu society and about anyone with a semblance of knowledge of who he was, The Strongest.
Fresh into adulthood and he's already considered one, if not the most notorious man in Jujutsu society, the potency he holds is incomparable to any other. Handsome too. Fluffy pearl white hair, legs for days, a nice build, toned, keeps it all maintained effortlessly, genetics or the such he thanks for it. A flirt in nature, girls fawned over him, how could they not? An attractive dashing young man such as himself of course they do.
Never been with one before though. A woman.
He didn't date in his teens, school was grueling, he was the strongest and he was busy, always. He could get a girl all buttered up on words sure, he has one hell of a mouth on him... Couldn't actually ask one out though, or kiss one, or get laid by one. His experience with them is non-existent. Truthfully, Gojo is as virgin as a virgin could be, he seems like he lacks in nothing, but relationships? He's clueless.
Yet here he is, married. Weaved into a union with a woman. The papers signed, wedding ceremonies done, vows out and said. Sealed his whole self to another, to you. And as are you, sewn into this 'relationship' same as he is to each other. Orchestrated by the hands of Clan elders, arranged before either of you had met each other.
Fourteen nights of sharing the same bed since, living together as spouses. It's odd, confusing, Gojo who bathes himself in self-assured composure twenty-four-seven, hasn't the faintest idea how this works. But, he is Satoru Gojo, he's hot shit, and you haven't had any complaints yet. Even if you're only two weeks into marriage, he's got this.
Just like he's got everything else in his life, he's sure of himself. The two of you have slowly, but surely gotten more comfortable with each other. Gojo does well, friendly and welcoming by nature, albeit it can come off as cockiness, he brings energy into every dinner you two share so it doesn't feel jarring and off-putting eating with basically a stranger who you'd call your spouse.
The times you touch, comes off as natural. A smooth one he is, Gojo, craftically slipping his hand by your ear to tuck a strand hair, nudging you awake in the morning effortlessly so you don't get startled. The touch of your knees when you sit beside each other. It feels natural, he makes it feel natural.
To you.
But Gojo? His brain is working in overdrive, has been since the day he took you home from the wedding. He didn't realize it at first, still full of himself in ever-lasting confidence, but as quickly as the first two weeks of being newlyweds went by, so did the semblance of stability he held in his ego. Neither of you had even shared a kiss yet. That should've happened by now, right?
Fuck.
Wait, should you two have fucked by now? Lord knows he's thought about it, a lot, he's a young man stocked full of endless libido. And you are his wife, and you're pretty. Every feather-light touch he's managed to sneak in effortlessly you seemed at ease in, but he's been mentally reeling if it's too far. Too inappropriate, but then again you are his wife.
He's your husband, you two are literally married, living together, sleeping together. Sleeping together only, of course, sex feels like something in the distant future. He'd hate to pressure you, especially since you two are just starting out, technically already locked in, till death do us part, but truly just at the start of companionship with each other.
But Gojo, is impatient and a bit aloof. He's not gonna push for anything, but when he saw the condoms at the store and thought 'Hey I have a girl now!' what else was he supposed to do? Immaturity at its finest considering how he's now sat with you, and the condoms stuffed into his back pocket while you two sit on the bed and you'd just shot down his sad attempt at flirting. With his own wife.
"...Is there something you wanna tell me?" Your eyes are glued to your phone as you ask, but he notices they flicker onto him. He's staring, isn't he? You've gotten used to it, his eyes just have a mind of their own, he can't help it he always looks like he's glaring even when he's not, and after a week spent with you sharing a home with him, he can't help himself but look at you. You're beautiful. And you're his.
"Maybe." He'll settle for being a smug little shit instead, still staring at you as he speaks.
"Maybe?" You repeat, putting down your phone in interest as he clearly tries to lure you to talk.
He hums, shrugging innocently and crawling to your side of the bed, used to be his but the night of your wedding you unknowingly took that side and he's been letting you rest on it since. Seamlessly, he pulls his face to yours in a swift but not sudden motion, his nose almost budding with yours.
There's a shared glance, a look into his eyes as he looks into yours, and the density of the air in the bedroom suddenly shoots up straight to 100. Ticklish bouts of his breath fanning lightly against your cheek while he smiles at you, expression, as always, never faltering. But movements telling. He takes your chin by his narrow fingers. You hadn't even seen them move to grasp your face, too transfixed on the look in his palpitating eyes instead.
"Can I kiss you?" There's a second, a moment for you to think, drawn out by the way his voice glides through your ears as he asks. Two weeks together, vowed to one another and you've found yourself caught in his gaze alone. You're starting to feel it, the drum of your heart responding to him.
And so, you nod, his grasp on your chin so gentle you don't even notice it's there holding your face near his as you do. It happens quickly, but it feels like an eternity, a good kind, a soft sort of mere milliseconds between the nod of approval and him moving forward catching your lips against his. His lips are soft, lulling against you and though brief has you leaning into him for more, slouching into him like you're calling for him to caress, to feel more of him in the moment, and he does that, his hands moving to wrap around your waist, pulling you into him.
Once it's done and you two, in natural timing, pull away with a slight wet plop noise breaking the silence you can see it in his eyes. Desire, need, and maybe, just maybe, love. It's small but it's there.
He meant it when he said he liked you, then on that first night, purely by expectation, you're his wife. Of course, he likes you, you're supposed to like him, he's your husband. But two weeks in and he's understanding it more, what it means to like someone, to have them as yours. To have you as his. His dazed expression from a kiss alone tells you that, this is real. He's married and he just kissed a girl, the girl he's promised his life to.
"..Gojo-"  You murmur as he reels from the kiss and gathers himself, a goofy grin plastered on his hazed expression.
"Mhm~" He purrs at you, starting to get giddy.
"Are those condoms?" He blinks at your question, stare breaking from your eyes and your lips he'd left wet with his saliva he'd been caught up looking into, to where your eyes had turned to look. He follows your eyes and looks to see the box out of his pocket, crumpled slightly from him sitting on it, spilled open over the bed.
The rubbers are all over the bed.
His hands don't pull off the sides of your waist, and his smile doesn't falter. Instead, his smirk grows, and he turns back to look at you in the eyes again. Giddy expression is written all over his face, his fingers pulling you closer with ease, because you lean into it and situate yourself closer as he does so, responding to him.
"Yup!" Gojo Satoru has no room for shame. Much less with the pretty woman he has as a wife. Marriage, the foundation of family, what makes a house a home, as his elders told him, he's getting it now. Having you here only two weeks it's already starting to feel properly shared with you, his house, your home, both of yours home. 
411 notes · View notes
saetoru · 1 year
Text
✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。SECRET — AL-HAITHAM.
pls come join me in silly haitham agenda and indulge me in the idea that he can be very playful and cute and lovely and charming thank you
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al-haitham hates meetings.
and yet, here he is, struggling to find his clothes frustratedly in nothing but his boxers as he readies himself for one. to add to his misery, he can’t seem to find any of his regular clothes—how is it possible for all pairs of pants to be gone from his (neatly organized) closet? perhaps he was doomed from the moment he accepted his position—though it was hesitantly, and only under the agreement that it would be temporary.
he didn’t ask to be acting grand sage—and he certainly didn’t ask for all the responsibility that comes with it. but now, on the morning of a very important meeting which he absolutely cannot miss no matter how often he tries to make himself scarce in akademiya matters that simply don’t concern him, he rummages through clothes with a string of curses under his breath.
“are you planning on wearing pants?” you giggle, making him eye you wearily over his shoulder.
“well, that depends,” he huffs, “would you prefer me to show up like this?”
“of course not, this is a view reserved for myself only. and one that’s hardly appropriate for the grand sage,” you grin, pressing freshly laundered clothes into his hands.
he accepts them graciously—they’re still warm, like they’ve been freshly washed and dried for him to wear. you watch as he slips into his pants, admiring the pulls and flexes of his muscles as he dresses.
“how is it that i feel more exposed now that i’m dressed than before,” he raises a brow, “it must be your eyes practically undressing me.”
“oh but mister grand sage,” you tease, making him grumble a faint correction of acting grand sage as he rolls his eyes, “forgive me for my lack of manners. it’s just that…well, never mind. it’s a secret,” you giggle.
he turns, walking up to you as he wraps an arm around you, pulling you into his chest as he leans closer. he’ll run late if he doesn’t leave soon—but not late enough that he can’t spare a moment or two for you.
“a secret, you say?” he hums, nose brushing against the column of your neck. you shiver, fingers grasping at the smooth skin of his bare shoulders. “as acting grand sage, i require intel on this secret.”
“that’s an abuse of power,” you inhale sharply when he presses a kiss to your jaw, as the warmth of his breath hits your skin from the low chuckle he lets out.
“is it?” he grins, “i’m sure if i really wanted to abuse power, i would have by now.”
his head moves up so that his lips just hover over your own—it’s unfair, how tantalizingly slow he is at leaning into you, how his touch ghosts over you. it makes you lean in to close the gap yourself, but he doesn’t make it so simple. he pulls away quickly, chuckling at the pout that tugs at your lips.
“this is corruption,” you gasp.
“then i suggest you tell me this secret of yours.”
“well,” you make a show to look around, as though any eavesdroppers could make themselves present in your empty home—kaveh has already left early, with his keys forgotten, again. “i’ve come to realize that you’re quite handsome, mister grand sage. and…well, i’m afraid i’ve fallen quite deeply for your charms. i don’t know how i’ll break it to my lover.”
“your lover?” he furrows his brows in confusion, making you nod solemnly.
“yes, my lover. you might’ve heard of him? the akademiya’s scribe?” you smile widely once he rolls his eyes at your mischief, wrapping your arms around his neck while his snake tighter around your waist.
“i see. it’s a grave predicament indeed,” he nods, face as serious as ever as he plays along.
“yes,” you sigh dramatically, “i’m afraid i’m in a terribly difficult spot. i can’t decide if i love the scribe or you, mister grand sage. but if word got around that i’ve got my eye on two men…. well, my reputation would be in ruins.”
“well, we wouldn’t want that,” he shakes his head, squeezing your hips with his large hands and pulling you against his chest.
“any advice who i should pick?”
“i think,” he presses his forehead to yours, lips just barely a few millimeters away, “that they’re both equally good options.”
“then would you keep my secret? that i have two lovers at once?”
he laughs, soft and boyish from his chest, with a honeyed sound that fills your heart to the brim so quickly, it skips two beats.
“i believe i can keep it hidden, yes,” he nods.
and just when he leans in to close the gap, you pull away, pressing his shirt to his chest and plastering a devious grin on your face as you snicker.
“wonderful,” you nod in glee, “then you might want to get dressed and make your way to the akademiya. i heard there’s an important meeting today that you simply cannot be late for.”
with that, you saunter out of the bedroom, leaving him to grumble over his unfortunately demanding position that he should not have ever accepted under any circumstance.
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i wish to bite him immediately
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charliemwrites · 7 months
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Hello, hello! Per ceilidh's request - a Soap x Reader ficlet from the prompt thingy.
#11 "You tricked me."
I was heavily inspired by that tiktok sound (iykyk)
Rating: M CW/TW: brief/vague torture, threat of SA (doesn't happen), manipulation, dark!Soap
Being a medium in the military isn’t that much different from being a medium anywhere else.
The rules are roughly the same. Don’t talk to ghosts in living company. Don’t join idiotic 2am summoning circles. Try to help the ones you can; try not to lose sleep over the ones you can’t.
Oddly, there aren’t as many ghosts on a base as any given suburban house. Depends on the base, of course, but a reassuring number of former-military souls continue to their final rest. Even if their bodies (or parts of it) don’t make it back, tags and a symbolic burial usually suffice.
The 141’s main base only has a handful. A few you’ve already gotten closure for, sent off into the beyond. The others you’re working on, or already know they’re a lost cause. Most of them are even friendly!
There’s a corporal that haunts the mess and laments mashed potatoes. A captain appears in Price’s office occasionally, his residual energy glaring down at reports and rustling at phantom papers. On the range, you sometimes speak to the ghost of a prostitute murdered by some piece of shite back in ye olde times. She doesn’t talk back – can’t with a crushed windpipe – but she smiles when you have the privacy to acknowledge her.
Your favorite, though, is Johnny. He’s a comparatively new spirit, by your estimate. Lots of energy, still coherent. You can’t tell how he died by looking at him, but that’s not unusual. It could have been internal bleeding, or a stroke despite his youth. He won’t tell you his last name despite all your asking, always just laughs.
“Yer no’ gettin’ rid o’ me tha easily!”
He always lays the Scottish accent on in a thick velvet blanket. You want to wrap yourself up in it.
Yes, the rules for being a medium are the same, even on a military base. The main one: don’t get haunted by feelings.
That was never a concern, never even a thought, until Johnny. Until you caught his eye around Price’s shoulder during your introductory tour. He followed you for hours, interjecting little asides that put your selective hearing to the test. Always orbited just close enough to send chills down your spine and goosebumps up your arm.
You confronted him when you’d finally been dismissed back to your barrack, whirling around as he popped his mohawked head through the door. Despite yourself, you made quick friends with him.
He’s an unusual ghost. Doesn’t seem tied to a particular place or thing on base. Isn’t trapped along the same paths he walked in life. He’s always solid or near solid, doesn’t waver at certain times of day. You’re utterly charmed by his unorthodoxy, by his miraculous non-existence. And by the fact that, while he knows your secret – as all spirits do – he seems more intrigued than solicitous.
It's not that you blame other ghosts – the coherent ones – for wanting help. It’s torturous to toe that line, not alive but not at peace. Stuck and dwindling little by little. You can’t imagine what it feels like, but you can sense from some that it’s frightening, and cold. No, you’re not bothered that they ask for help. Or with the ones that are just angry; they have every reason to be.
Johnny, though… he’s special. You don’t feel so alone with him, even if the room looks like it to an outsider.
“Oh, aye, that’s pure dead brilliant. You know they’re sending you to Russia?”
You flick Johnny a glance. He’s leaning over Price’s shoulder, peering at the briefing docket that’s actively being explained. You don’t mind the extra or early info. Saved your ass a couple times before.
Your lack of response ruffles his feathers though. He stalks through the table to Gaz, flicks his pen right off the surface. You snort softly as he curses under his breath and ducks to retrieve it, trying not to interrupt Price. You make eye contact with Johnny, blink and minutely shake your head. He can see the twitching at the corners of your mouth anyway.
He smirks and wades through solid objects back to you. His presence looms behind your shoulder, an uneasy flicker at the edge of your consciousness. Like this he seems bigger, inhuman beyond ghostliness. Rougher and darker in the corner of your vision. You’ve done a double-take and gotten teased for skittishness enough times by now to quell the urge to check. It’s always just Johnny.
You’re paired with your lieutenant, Ghost. He’ll be watching with his sniper while you’re on infil. Usually, you’re paired with Gaz, but he and Roach will be at the other end of the compound taking out a target.
When the team is dismissed, Ghost only pauses long enough to give you a nod before skulking off. Not unusual for him; you take no offense. Johnny, however, is scowling something fierce after him.
For whatever reason, he’s never been a fan of your LT. The one time you asked, the lights started flickering and Johnny dismissed the question with a sharp “just don’t like him.”
You suspect that it’s because Ghost was your mentor when you joined the 141. The two of you spent the majority of your time together, training you up to run with the rest of the squad. Due to his constant proximity, your ability to respond to Johnny was greatly hindered.
Still is with how observant Ghost is. Have almost blown your cover several times and had to really watch yourself, and your reactions. You think Johnny might resent him for that.
Back in your barrack, though, Johnny happily chatters while you gear up for the mission. Base gossip and bits of intel he shouldn’t know and shouldn’t tell you. It’s standard ritual for you two; he likes to talk, and you’re accustomed to listening. You hum in the right places, storing tidbits away for your own amusement later.
A playful tug to your bitch-strap makes you yelp, then laugh when you catch Johnny’s grin. He does it again, loosening one of the buckles on your thigh. You swat him uselessly, retightening it only for him to pluck at your bootlaces while you’re occupied. He’s got so much energy, for a ghost. So adept at interacting with the physical world.
“Quit it!” you giggle, trying to dodge his darting hands.
“Why should I?” he chuckles. You curse as he gets a finger in your harness and jerks, misaligning it with the rest of your gear.
“I’ll banish you,” you lie, wriggling various straps back into place.
“Oh, sweet girl, it would take a lot more than you’ve got to get rid of me now.”
It’s an odd turn of phrase for him, but it’s the tone that draws your gaze. There’s an unfamiliar, inky darkness in his voice that pools in the pit of your stomach. You frown, open your mouth to ask what he means. But just like that, his electric smile is back, eyebrows arching as he nods to your bedside clock.
“You’re gonna be late.”
“Shit!” You snatch up your backpack and fling it across your shoulders. “I’m gonna kill you, Johnny!”
“Can’t kill something that isn’t alive,” he cackles as you sweep out the door.
You make it the transport just short of reprimand, though that doesn’t stop Ghost from narrowing his eyes as you duck into your seat. Gaz has already started a lively conversation with Roach, and Price is staying back this time.
You miss Johnny already. He may not be trapped in any particular part of the base, but he can’t come with you on missions or leave. The spaces where he’s absent feel colder and quieter. Everything seems just a bit… off. A song missing an instrument, a rainbow lacking one color.
You’re not sure when that started happening, when Johnny became such a vital part of how you perceive the rest of the world. When did longing for him become a chronic illness?
“Focus up!” Ghost barks in your ear.
You blink, shake your head, and take stock bewildered. Gone is the transport and the rest of your team. It’s just you now, hidden behind a generator, presumably about to infiltrate the target.
How?
When you try to recall, you have vague recollections of exiting the transport. Hiking to the compound. Splitting off with a few parting words amongst the lot of you. It feels watery at the edges, more of a vivid dream than a waking memory.
“Yessir.” It jumps instinctively from your tongue while you flex your cold fingers, trying to coax the nerves back to life.
You take a deep breath – lungs aching like you’ve held your breath too long – and continue with the mission. There’s no room for error now, or idle daydreams of noncorporeal men with wicked smiles.
The building is only three stories and you’re not meant to clear it. Just get to the server room, collect the information, and slip away with minimal enemy contact.
Maybe that’s why you don’t realize that something is wrong at first. You’re supposed to be avoiding guards, so you don’t notice the lack of them. Things do go right, sometimes, the intel can be good.
But it’s the quiet the finally prickles at your awareness. You may be more attuned to the dead, but you have a sense for the living as well. Always made you the worst to play hide and seek with. Now, you can feel that this building is vacant, deprived of any souls.
“LT, something is wrong,” you whisper, frozen mid-step.
“What is it?” he asks.
“It’s too quiet.”
To his credit, he doesn’t dismiss you immediately. “How?”
“I think the building is empty. Have you seen anyone?”
“Negative.” A pause as he considers, maybe scans the other windows for signs of occupation. “Sit tight, I’ll update Price.”
There’s barely a heartbeat before you hear distant gunfire. Too much and too soon for the plan. Roach and Gaz weren’t supposed to neutralize the target until you were collecting intel.
“Fuck,” Ghost snarls. “Get out of there!”
You’re already sprinting for the stairwell. Nearly pop your ankles leaping down, boot treads catching on the edge of steps. No one is chasing you, but your team needs help. Gaz is shouting in your ear, the channels reconnected for ease of communication. The situation is devolving quickly and violently.
“Almost there,” you report.
Your foot hits the last landing before the ground floor when the building explodes.
---
It takes three tries to get your vision focused. There’s not much to see once you do. A concrete room tinted by bare yellow halogen. There’s a drain in the floor just in front of you and old blood dried in the corners. It smells like rust, infection, and despair. Your head pounds; your entire body aches. Being tied to a metal chair doesn’t help the post-explosion soreness.
You’ve been stripped down to your fatigues, no boots. There isn’t a door in any of the three walls you can see, so it must be positioned behind you.
Confirmation comes about a minute later. Three sets of boots entering your little box. Only one of them walks into your line of sight; a mean-looking man with face tattoos and a gold tooth. He asks if you speak Russian, and though you do, you spew a string of English profanities and threats at him. The backhand you get in return says he understood you.
The questions start as soon as he switches to English. They want information; they always do. What you had been sent to collect and why. Who Roach and Gaz were sent for and why. You don’t speak a word. Even when the pain starts, and then doesn’t stop. You lose track of time, the head injury floating you on the edge of consciousness within the first thirty minutes.
Hours – days? – later, the man takes a step back, a self-satisfied smirk on his face.
“It’s alright,” he tells you, “I like taking my time, and we have plenty. Your friends think you are dead.”
That, you think through the haze, is probably true. You thought you were dead too.
“Perhaps next time we try something… else,” he muses, running a finger down your neck. “You are not as pretty now, but… prettier than you will be later, da?”
Ice forms in the pit of your stomach and climbs up your spine. It was always on the table, you know that, but facing it is something else.
Whatever expression you’re making seems to satisfy him, because he laughs heartily and finally leaves you alone.
Alone, with the promise of his next visit looming.
You squeeze your eyes shut. There’s a dripping sound nearby that you realize, vaguely, is your own blood. Maybe you’ll bleed out before he comes back. You time your breaths with it, using it as a count to get your wild and unsteady heart under control.
Reality washes over you in waves. There is no escape. Your team thinks you’re dead. Eventually, you will break and/or die. You might even become a ghost, join the collective that darkens the edges of this very room, a thing of pain and fear and rage without any coherency or singular will.
You didn’t even give Johnny a proper goodbye.
That somehow hurts the worst. Johnny, hearing second-hand that you’ll never make it back. No one to mourn with him, to offer any comfort. He’ll be alone with grief and then beyond, no one to tell his jokes or stories to.
You miss him more fiercely than you ever have. Part of you is glad he isn’t here. You know him, know he’d be too stubborn to leave you. He’d stay and watch, helpless, as you were tortured and killed. It would tear you apart to do that to him even though it wouldn’t be your own choice.
But… an awful, selfish part of you longs for him. Even just being able to see or hear him would soften the pain and fear. Would make this hell on earth almost bearable. You want to leave this world with Johnny whispering in your ear, maybe even join him when your body finally goes cold.
Given the choice, you would want him here.
You want Johnny. No, you need him. Regret ever leaving him behind, even though he couldn’t come with you. You’d do anything to change that now; anything to be with him again.
Anything?
It’s an unbidden thought, almost intrusive. Doesn’t even feel like yourself asking.
“Anything,” you whisper aloud, just to hear something other than your own despair. “Johnny…”
“You called?”
You jolt, head snapping up so fast it makes you dizzy. The world spins but he’s there, right there, crouching in front of you, arms balanced on his knees.
“Johnny?” you whisper.
Were you closer to the brink than you thought? Is this some sort of final hallucination as you slip into death?
“In the flesh.” He tilts his head, snorts. “Well, in a manner.”
“How…?” you ask, eyes already stinging.
“Told ya, you called. I’d never – hey, now, hey. No need for all that,” he soothes. He wipes the tears from your face. You can feel the warmth in his fingers. “This is a happy occasion.”
You huff in watery amusement, shaking your head. “Did you lose your glasses when you died? I wouldn’t call this celebration-worthy.”
His eyes scan over you, flicker dark. “It will be, don’t you worry.”
You blink, try to focus. Exhaustion and injury and chemical rush are making it difficult, but you know things are off. He shouldn’t be here, least of all because you called. And… something else too. Something in the way he’s holding his shoulders and the twitching around his expression. 
“Johnny, really,” you say, “why are you here?”
“You offered me anything, and I’m here to collect.”
Between one blink and the next, his eyes are black. Pitch black, from corner to corner. You suck in a breath, try to jerk back but there’s nowhere to go.
His grin is sharp enough to cut yourself on.
“I’ve been waiting for that,” he sighs.
He leans in, lips parting. His tongue rolls out, long and split at the tip. Licks a luxurious, burning trail from your chin to your temple. You make a sound borne of confused pleasure and fear, high in the back of your throat.
He shushes you, plants a slow kiss at the corner of your mouth. “My brave little lass, finally offering herself to the demon she’s been courting.”
The word bounces against the walls of your cell and burrows into your brain. Demon, demon, demon.
Johnny is…
“You tricked me,” you sob.
He cocks his head, onyx eyes soft with avarice. “Tricked you? No, angel, I’m saving you.”
His hands pet over the cruel ties around your ankles. The itch of them digging into your skin falls away. Gentle thumbs rub circles over the imprints the left behind. Hope and relief pounds hard in your chest.
“I’m only taking what you so willingly and enthusiastically offered,” he explains in hushed awe. Like you’ve given him such a wonderful gift, the greatest gift. Suppose you have.
“I’m going to take such good care of you,” he croons. His arms wrap around you, almost like a hug. His fingertips trace down your bruised arms to the cuffs biting your wrists. Those too fall away, and you find yourself reaching for him so quickly, folding into his chest, free of that wretched chair.
“There’s my girl,” he murmurs, a hand curling into blood and sweat soaked tangles.
“It… it is you, right?” you ask. “You’re my Johnny?”
“Always, angel,” he replies, “it’s always been me. I will always be yours. All you have to do is say yes.”
You tilt your head back, catch the wicked curve of fangs as he speaks. He smells like heat and woodsmoke.
“Yes to what?” you ask.
“To everything,” he answers, deep and rough. “You offered anything, and I want all of you.”
You should say no, you should throw yourself away from him.
There is not an inch of your mind or body that wants to leave the safety of his arms. This is Johnny, your Johnny, hellfire and all.
“And… in return,” you venture, “I get… you?”
“Eternally.”
Then it really doesn’t need much more thought.
“Yes. Please.”
“Good girl.”
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wheeboo · 8 months
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wilted | kim mingyu
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SYNOPSIS. in which you've contracted hanahaki despite being in a relationship, and it makes you question everything. PAIRING. kim mingyu x gn!reader (ft. jeonghan) GENRE. angst, established relationship, hanahaki au WARNINGS. descriptions of illness (hanahaki disease), mentions of coughing and blood, mention of death, cursing, terms of endearment, miscommunication or honestly lack of communication, depictions of an argument, gyu is a little bit of an ass in this and i'm very sorry about that but it's for the plot, description of hospitals and surgery, unrequited love WORD COUNT. 6.1k
hanahaki disease ( 花吐き病 ) 𑁋 a disease in which the infected coughs up flowers due to unrequited love.
notes: this entire story was inspired from this post which i hoped i was able to stick to :)
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A shift has never been this relaxing before.
Normally, you're used to the hectic hustle of weary students aiming to acquire their morning coffees before running to class and impatient corporate workers racing against the clock in the bustling jungle of the city. But today, the scene was drastically different.
The clear blue skies outside were barren of any existence of clouds, the sun rays pouring in through the café windows like warm honey and casting ornate patterns of light and shadow on the rustic wooden tables that filled the vast space. In the midst of this fresh and sunny afternoon, you find yourself standing idly behind the counter, fingers rhythmically tapping on your phone as you shoot a text message to your boyfriend.
[ 04:39pm | y/n ] gyu ! should i bring home something for us to eat tonight? been craving that gimbap from a while ago 💕
The message sends before your attention would be halted by the chime of the doors opening.
You've worked as a barista in this café for the past year while searching (or struggling, to be honest) to get a job in the field you sought for. It's easy to give yourself credit when it comes to plastering on the brightest smile on your face every time the bell above the doors would ring. You can be having the worst day of your life, yet you've mastered the skill of hiding your worries beneath that obnoxious apron and sage green logo-emblazoned hat sat on your head.
It's a bit different this time when the customer who walks in is someone you're beginning to consider a regular at your café.
"Ah, Mr. Yoon," You greet him with a shake of your head and a wide grin. "The usual today, I'm presuming?"
"That is, if you can stop putting down 'Mr. Yoon' on my cup than my first name," he responds teasingly, and it makes you lightly chuckle as you lower your gaze to start tapping in his order on the screen.
Mr. Yoon, as he preferred to be called initially as a running gag, had become a latest fixture in the café, like a light-hearted charm that captures the attention of both you and your co-workers. It's rare to see people like him walk in. His visits were characterised not just by his liking for the café's signature caramel macchiato, but also by the easy banter and warm camaraderie he shared each time he visited that makes your busy shifts a little more bearable.
"Okay, Jeonghan," You reply playfully, reading out his order even though you know it's correct. "One caramel macchiato with a pinch of wit, coming right up."
He lets out a chuckle as he hands you his card with a wink. "You're the best, you know that?"
You flash him one last smile before facing your back towards him to prepare his order. "Flattery will get you anywhere, Mr. Yoon."
You take your time in creating his order, looking up briefly to notice he had sat himself down at one of the tables in the corner of the café. You carefully pour the steamed milk over the espresso and caramel, and when you finish, you place the perfectly crafted caramel macchiato on a tray and carry it over to Jeonghan's table.
"Here you go, Mr. Yoon," You say with a smile, bringing the tray down and placing the cup in front of him. "One caramel macchiato, just the way you like it."
Jeonghan takes a moment to properly observe it, as if examining the crevices of each layer in the cup, before leaning back in chis hair and crossing his arms together. He lets out a relaxing sigh.
"Congratulations, you've earned yourself a perfect score this time." He turns the cup just slightly to show off that you've indeed put the order down under his first name.
You roll your eyes. "Well, I'm glad to have gotten it right."
"It's about time, don't you think?" Jeonghan queries, before taking a sip of the drink, eliciting a satisfied hum. "Mmh, but it was definitely worth the wait. Thank you, Y/N."
You grab the empty tray back in your hands. "If you need me, you know where to find me."
Jeonghan just shoots you one last playful smirk in your direction before you turn away to head back around the counter, pushing yourself through your next set of customers.
However, as time continues to pass so torturously slow, an unusual sensation begins to creep into the core of your chest.
It's like a subtle tickle, a slight tightness to your trachea that you merely dismiss just as fatigue from the dry air as you strap the lid on the order of a cup you're preparing. You take a moment to rub your chest absently, hoping the discomfort will pass, but it lingers.
Yet once you set the order down on the customer's table and dismiss yourself back behind the counter, you let out a small, involuntary cough into the palm of your hand. It's nothing, you tell yourself. You're probably just coming down with a minor cold.
But then, you see it𑁋a very small delicate, pale pink petal resting on your hand where you had covered your mouth, and that's when you feel your heart drop down to your feet.
This can't be happening, You think frantically. Not now. Not like this. You glance around nervously, hoping no one else was watching or waiting for you at the front. The café is still bustling with customers, and the regular chatter continues, completely oblivious to your growing panic.
As you stare at the petal, it begins to crumble, disintegrating into tiny flecks that drift away like dust in the wind down to the floor below. The feeling in your chest, however, remains, and it intensifies. It's like a weight, an ache that refuses to dissipate, and sets the adrenaline to your limbs as you dash towards the employee's only restroom, locking the door behind you.
You place your hands on either side of the sink, the coughs leaving your mouth now bouncing off the walls of the restroom. The coughs wrack your body. Each one doesn't bloom out a petal, but as you release one last cough, you watch as another petal slowly floats down in the sink below your gaze.
Then you look at your reflection in the mirror, and it reveals nothing out of the ordinary. No flowers sprouting from your mouth or bloodstained petals; it was purely only just... fresh petals.
Your mind runs circles. It physically hurts to even think, like twist and turns on an abandoned dirt road. If what you're suffering from is really what you think it is, then your thoughts dash back to him. To Mingyu, whom you've been with for the past two years, and the thought of him makes your heart race. Thinking about him helps just slightly, but not entirely, yet... what is causing this?
You're still in love with Mingyu𑁋you know you are.
You splash cold water on your face, trying to collect your thoughts and the pain wracking your chest. This can't be happening. It's impossible that you'd suddenly develop Hanahaki for someone else.
You quickly take out your phone from your back pocket, punching in your passcode and sliding to your text messages. Your fingers instinctively land on Mingyu's text thread, punching in words in a panic for some help. But when your eyes trail to the last message you sent to him, you notice that it was simply left on... seen.
That's when another cough racks your body, and you can't help but watch in horror as more petals, delicate and pink, fall into the sink, before wilting and crumbling down the drain. It felt like they were mocking you in shame.
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Hanahaki disease. An illness described to be acquired from unrequited love.
The doctor explained the options to you: surgery to remove the flowers with the risk of losing your feelings for the person you love, medication to suppress the symptoms with the risk of some side effects, or the most common method𑁋reciprocated love. If the person you love returns your feelings, the disease will fade away on its own. However, if those feelings remain unrequited, the flowers will continue to grow, ultimately suffocating you.
And you would die.
Because that's exactly the kind of news you wanted to torment your life with. It's like a fucking parasite, a cruel insidious joke taking root in your chest. A fucking plant is growing in your fucking chest. Hanahaki disease was rare, but it had chosen you, and it had chosen to do so at the most inconvenient time.
You've heard the stories of the disease from the countless articles you searched on your phone the moment you got back into your car. You've also heard these stories growing up like an urban legend, even in its rarity, at some point becoming deathly afraid of it when you were younger, yet your own family had reassured you that no other person even down to your ancestors had ever been affected with the disease.
You're the first person. How fucking lucky are you.
You were lucky enough to catch it in its early stages, explaining to the doctor that you had never once had any other signs show other than today.
"It doesn't mean you have a lot of time to pick a treatment option," the doctor had said to you as you blankly listened. "I recommend getting it treated as soon as possible, no matter how early it may be, because waiting it out could be detrimental to your state. I'm going to prescribe you some medication to help reduce your symptoms. You can pick up at the pharmacy after this."
But you just... don't understand. None of this has been making sense in your head; it's just been buzzing painfully with confusion, and if anything, making you feel even worser than the actual disease plaguing your body itself. You've always been faithful to Mingyu; you've never harboured romantic feelings for anyone else other than him. You tell him that you love him, and he tells you that he loves you too.
Yet here you are, coughing up petals that seem to defy logic and the rules of this damn disease, trying to think of someone, anyone, who may have slipped past a crack in your heart somewhere.
But it all draws a blank, yet it's the only thing in mind that can be causing all this.
The doctor's words echo in your mind. Surgery came with the risk of losing your feelings for Mingyu, something that you couldn't bear to imagine. Medication can help suppress the symptoms temporarily, but it wouldn't cure the underlying cause. That left you with the most daunting option𑁋reciprocated love.
But how could you possibly explain this to Mingyu? How could you tell him that you were coughing up petals because of some inexplicable turmoil in your heart that had nothing to do with him?
You can't do this. Not right now. God, you need sleep.
"Gyu?" You call out, your voice echoing within the quietness of your shared apartment.
Stepping into your apartment, you're initially met with silence, but it wasn't until you hear a door shut that awakens your senses, and you see Mingyu stepping out of your shared bedroom. For a few moments, you let your eyes trail over him, seemingly dressed up like he was going to an outing, and you feel your lips twitch unconsciously.
"Babe?" You call out again, a bit louder this time, and it catches Mingyu's attention.
A faint smile crosses his face as he makes his way toward you, and for a second you can feel something catch in your throat once you can feel his warmth touch your skin.
"Hey," he greets you calmly, pushing away a strand of hair behind your ear. "How was work?"
"It was..." Tell him, Your mind urges. Tell him right now. "...fine. Nothing much today."
"That's good," he responds, locking the watch on his wrist in place.
"Are you going somewhere?" You ask him quickly, shifting your eyes up and down and over his form.
Mingyu's expression changes slightly, becoming almost tense, a flicker of hesitation in his eyes before it changes back to that lazy smile he had on before. You swear that if you weren't so hyperfocused with every fibre of your being pulling you back, you wouldn't have noticed.
"Just some dinner with the guys. Haven't seen them in a while," he responds coolly, brushing past you for a moment to grab the keys hanging next to the door. "Do you want me to bring you something back?"
You watch Mingyu's every move, the unease and some discomfort from the disease in your chest growing by the unbearable minute, even with the increasing tension in the room that's absolutely suffocating you at the same time. This isn't the time to let your guard down, but you're torn between the fear of losing him and the need to protect him from this awful reality.
But... he's going out? And he didn't tell you? Nor even bother responding to the text you sent him earlier? He was probably just busy, You think. Like he always is.
"No, it's alright." You take a chance and step up to him, planting a brief kiss to his cheek. You feel a little bit better doing that. "I'll just heat up something from the fridge. Have a good time with your friends, okay? I love you."
Mingyu smiles softly at your gesture, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. And you swear you notice a distant look in his gaze, or maybe you were just imagining things and it's just another symptom of this stupid disease and your fervent overthinking. The dimness of your apartment didn't help either𑁋his eyes just looked drained of any colour. Maybe he was just tired.
"Thanks, Y/N." He offers one last smile, but there's something lacking in his tone that you can't quite place, and it's anything but comforting you at the moment. "Love you too."
Your heart quickens just a bit at that, the corners of your lips edging up just slightly as you watch him. He grabs his jacket and heads for the door, and you're left behind in nothing but the silence of your place.
And all at once, you feel all the discomfort you were trying to hide finally spill out from your lips, coughs leaving your mouth like a downpour, each one a bit more painful than the last. You double over with one of your arms wrapped around you and the other clutching at your chest as if trying to physically grasp the pain and pull it out of you.
"Shit, dammit," You murmur weakly, bringing your hand down from your mouth to see a few petals fluttering to the floor, feeling the tears brimming at the corner of your eyes.
You bring yourself back up, opening up your bag and taking out the medication you picked up from the pharmacy earlier. Trailing down to the bathroom, the medication bottle rattles loudly in your shaky hand as you fumble to open the cap. The pills inside are small and white, and the label on the bottle provides instructions for dosage. With shaking fingers, you fish out one pill and place it on your palm.
Then you take a deep breath, attempting to steady your nerves, and then swallow it down with a gulp of water from the bathroom sink.
You hope that it will provide some relief, even if it's just temporary.
You don't know what time Mingyu comes home that night. You heard him come in, but don't have the energy to properly acknowledge him. So you stay low to your sheets, feeling some residual discomfort crawl back into your throat when you hear him open the bedroom door.
You wish he can hold you𑁋it's all you want right now. His comfort, his large arms wrapping around you like how he used to do so before, how he would kiss the top of your head and your shoulder before holding you close in his embrace, the way it felt so right and safe being in his hold because you know it's enough to make all your worries disappear in an instant.
But he doesn't, only sliding into the empty space next to you, and you're afraid that if he does it just might make you feel even worse. You barely feel his warmth on you. Yet you miss him; you miss everything about him. And you still love him. You always have.
You always will.
...right?
It's not right to tell him right now.
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You certainly wouldn't like it if someone was staring at you, but you can't help it, not when Mingyu is the only other thing in the room you could possibly look at.
It's been more than a week since you found out you have Hanahaki. Each day you would wake up in an absolute coughing fit, the petals coming in more frequent amounts than before. The medication has helped to lessen the symptoms, yet the side effects are taking a toll on your body. You're constantly fatigued, and your appetite has declined just slightly. You feel like a prisoner in your own body, all because something beautiful and deadly is growing within you.
Mingyu still doesn't know about it. And deep down, you can't shake the feeling that something is... different.
He used to be so attentive with you. Now, he often seems preoccupied, lost in his own thoughts. He no longer surprises you with sweet gestures or random acts of affection, and the warm, lingering kisses that he would leave to your lips have turned into quick pecks on the cheek, or simply, just nothing at all. You hardly wake up with him right next to you because of his work, and the shared laughter and late night conversations have nearly ceased to exist.
You remember the days when Mingyu used to look at you with such warmth, love, and adoration, but the spark that used to light up his eyes has dimmed. You barely feel it anymore. His replies to your questions asking about his day are kept brief. You would excuse it as him simply being exhausted, but there's a persistent feeling in your chest, and it's not just from your illness.
"Gyu?" You call out for him meekly from the kitchen, watching as he doesn't peel his eyes away from his laptop screen, only lifting a brow up slightly. "Are you busy later?"
"Yeah, I am. I got invited to a company dinner later this evening."
There's a visible downturn to your lips at his words, but he doesn't see it𑁋doesn't bother to see it, anyway.
"Oh." You feel it crawling up your throat again. "Okay. How about tomorrow?"
Mingyu finally looks away from his laptop, his gaze lingering on you for a moment before he sighs. "Tomorrow's not good either. I have a meeting with a client, and it might go late."
"Maybe the day after tomorrow?" You suggest, some desperation creeping into your voice.
Mingyu seems to hesitate for a moment, and you hold your breath, hoping for a glimmer of hope, something. But then he shakes his head. "I can't promise anything, Y/N. I'm sorry. I'll be sure to make up to you, okay?"
That's what you always say.
Will you ever make time for me again someday?
You swallow hard, feeling a lump in your throat. The realisation stings, more painful than the illness taking form in your lungs.
"Okay," You mumble, your voice barely above a whisper. "I understand. It's okay. I love you."
A brief, long, pause. "Love you too."
But it's okay, because you still love me.
Then you find yourself swiftly retreating into your bathroom, heart heavy as you grab a tissue and let out a few coughs into the tissue. More petals fall from your mouth, before you crumple the tissue and toss it into the bin next to the sink, then splash some water on your face to hide the tears that threaten to escape.
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You don't know what to do.
You can't even bother to see how much pills you have left because you feel like you're taking ten of them every damn day. You have yet to tell a soul, and you know that you should before it's too late, but who you can turn to? You have no one𑁋you can't even figure out yourself why this is even happening to you without feeling like you're going absolutely manic.
It's been hard trying to hide the fallen petals away from Mingyu, or away from anyone, in fact, and you find yourself coughing up more petals even when you're just in the same room as him. You always have to discreetly spit them into a tissue or rush to the bathroom to dispose of them, hoping he doesn't notice.
You hardly even see Mingyu anymore. It's either he's always called into work, has something important to do with the guys, or you feel it snaking up your throat painful enough for you to not make a move. The words stick in your throat, and the fear of losing him freezes you up. You can't help but blame yourself for being so distant around him.
If you've really fallen out of love out of him, if you did supposedly fall for someone else, wouldn't that mean that... you're leading him on? It's a thought at the back of your mind, but the guilt gnaws at you day by day like the ever-growing branches piercing through your lungs.
It's frustrating. All of this frustrating, and it's obviously spilled into your work performance as well. You can hardly perfect orders without making mistakes, and your once bright smile has faded into a forced, weary expression. Your manager and co-workers have given you concerned looks, but you've brushed them off, simply claiming it as stress or lack of sleep.
But it doesn't hit hard until today, because it happens so fast𑁋the metal tray you're holding loudly suddenly crashing down to the floor. One moment you can't breathe, and the next you're letting out hacking coughs into your hands, knees dropped to the floor with the spilled coffee staining your pants and shoes.
The café erupts into chaos as some customers quickly rush to your side, a hand still covering your face. You can hardly respond to anyone from the intense heaviness to your chest and dry pain to your throat.
You feel the petals tickling the skin of your hand, quickly crumpling them up in a fist and stuffing them inside the pocket of your apron.
"Y/N, are you okay?" a familiar voice asks worriedly, Jeonghan's voice, who you served earlier, and you catch a glimpse of him kneeling down beside you.
You can't look at him. Tears well up in your eyes, but you blink them back, doing your best to keep whatever you had left of your composure. You force a weak smile as you bring your hand down to the side.
"Yeah," You croak out, voice raspy and barely audible. "I'm fine, just a little dizzy."
Jeonghan doesn't seem convinced, his eyes trailing over you carefully. You only look past him and keep your gaze low, but it wasn't until you catch sight of a fallen petal resting by your shoes.
And he also sees it as well. Jeonghan's gaze flickers downward, his eyes narrowing as he spots the pale pink petal, and something in his expression changes.
Then he looks back up at you, giving a faint smile, yet serious look.
"Let me take you to the doctor," he urges.
"What? Jeonghan, I can't𑁋"
"I'm taking them to the doctor," he tells one of your co-workers passing by with a broom to clean up the mess you brought to the floor, completely cutting off your words.
You can hardly believe your eyes and ears right now. Your co-worker only nods and quickly takes over your duties while Jeonghan helps you to your feet. Despite your protests, he guides you outside the café, keeping a loose grip on your arm before you get yourself to separate from him in a brief panic.
"Jeonghan, you can't just𑁋just take me out of work like this."
He shoots you a bewildered look. "You're sick, Y/N. It's obvious."
"I know, and I'm fine. It's just stress and bad sleep. Please, just take me back to the café𑁋"
"You have Hanahaki," he says flatly and outright. "I've seen you cough them up. You don't have to hide it from me."
Jeonghan's words hang in the air like an anchor sinking in the ocean. You freeze, your heart pounding in your chest, and your mind races to find some way to deny it, to deflect the truth. But deep down, you know he's right.
Jeonghan, however, doesn't press you for an explanation. Instead, he takes you by the wrist gently and drags you to his car parked nearby.
"Jeonghan𑁋"
"I've had it, Y/N. I've had Hanahaki before," he confesses, a solemn look to his face as his words sink inside you.
You're quiet for a few moments as his words hang suspended in the air, a heavy silence between you two. Hearing that kind of news is from him is oddly... both surprising and comforting, knowing how how rare the illness is. But maybe just maybe, he might understand what you're going through, even if you can't seem to understand yourself.
Once you finally slide into the passenger seat of his car, you manage to get your voice back.
"You've... had it? I mean, just... what happened... how did you get rid of it?"
Once the car engine roars to life, Jeonghan just releases a small chuckle.
"It's the usual story: you fall in love with someone who doesn't love you back. It was terrifying, you know, seeing bits of your feelings turn into something physical like that. I waited too long, so I ended up getting the surgery." There's a shadow of some passing tree branches that cast on his face for a moment. "They never told me the surgery would also mean that my feelings would completely disappear, but it was the only way to save my life."
His face remains calm as he continues to drive, keeping his eyes on the road while your own thoughts were juggling together like a tangled mess of strings.
For a moment, Mingyu's face flashes in your mind, and you wish he were here with you. But you're torn. You don't want to burden him with this.
"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," You finally say, keeping your voice low. It was all you can say at the moment.
Once the car stops at a red light, he turns to you with a small, sad smile. "Don't be. It was a long time ago, and it taught me a lot of lessons, you could say. I survived, and you will too."
Another round of silence passes through the car, but this one feels less heavy, more contemplative. You watch the passing scenery outside the window as your thoughts continue to whirl like a storm within your mind. Knowing that Jeonghan survived offers a glimmer of hope, but it also deepens your sense of isolation𑁋that you can't lean on Mingyu for support in the same way.
You don't want to lose your feelings for him. You've already built this start of a future with him, and you can't bear the thought of basically removing him from your life for no solid reason.
"I-I have a boyfriend, you know," You blurt out, interrupting the silence, hearing Jeonghan let out an acknowledging hum for you to go on. "We've been together for the past two years, and whenever the... coughing, petals, all this started happening, it confused me."
"The heart is a complicated place," Jeonghan assures you.
You faintly smile at that. "I still love him, I'm sure of that. I know I do. I've never had feelings for anyone else. I just... I can't figure out why this is happening, why I'm coughing up these stupid petals in the first place, and it's been eating me up inside. It hurts."
Jeonghan listens intently as you pour your heart out, his eyes fixed on the road ahead but his attention fully on you. When you finish speaking, he clears his throat.
"You haven't... told him yet, haven't you?" he asks softly, breaking the silence.
You shake your head. "No, I haven't. I-I've just been... scared that I've been pushing him away, leading him on and I don't know about it. What if... if my heart is just betraying me? And now, with this... I don't know what to do."
Jeonghan's lips purse together thoughtfully.
"I think... If you know you love someone, you do," he says. "But... what makes you certain that he loves you back in the same way?"
Jeonghan's question hits you like a ton of bricks. It's a question you've been dying to avoid for this entire time, a fear that's been lurking in the shadows of your heart and the deepest corners of your mind.
What if... Mingyu didn't love you back?
The thought startles a cough out of you and you hastily bring your hand to your mouth, suppressing it as much as you can, the fragile petals fluttering out and settling on your lap. Squinting your eyes just slightly, you notice how they appear more redder than the usual pink you were used to seeing. You clench your hand around them, knuckles white from the tension, and swallow hard. Jeonghan shoots a quick glance of worry in your direction.
"I... I don't know," You utter out shakily. And what if I don't want to know?
The rest of the car ride is relatively quiet with the occasional taps of Jeonghan's fingers on the steering wheel, but not uncomfortably so. You can sense the concern radiating off Jeonghan, but he doesn't push you to talk further.
"You need to talk to him, Y/N," is all he says after turning into the parking lot of the doctor's office.
Once you get out of his car, you turn back to Jeonghan and give him a light wave.
I know, You tell yourself in your head. I know I do.
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You stare blankly at the dark red petal in your hand, its edges slightly crumpled from where it had been caught between your trembling fingers. You can hear the faint ticking of the clock on the wall itching at your skin, a constant reminder that time is passing, and you're running out of it.
Balling the petal in your hand, you stand up from where you sat on the bed and march out the bedroom. For a second, you felt like you weren't in control of your legs, yet you know you have to take advantage of the chance to muster up the courage to finally tell Mingyu everything.
Not just about the Hanahaki, but about... everything that has been suffocating you inside. It's all you've been thinking about for the past few weeks. When you step into the living room, you spot him sitting at your small dining set, focused on his work as ever with the laptop screen in front of him casting a glow to his face. He doesn't even look up when you announce your presence near him, and your heart clenches at that.
Taking a deep breath, you speak up, "Mingyu, we need to talk."
Mingyu doesn't look up, his focus still on his work, brows furrowing together. "Can it wait, Y/N? I'm in the middle of something important."
You hesitate for a moment, feeling something inside you wince at his words. "No, it can't wait. It's about us."
"Y/N, it's one in the morning right now𑁋"
"Do you even still love me anymore?" The question leaves your mouth all at once, and you swear it even freezes this exact moment that you are in.
The room falls into a suffocating silence. Mingyu finally tears his gaze away from the laptop, his eyes meeting yours. In that moment, you see a complex mix of emotions in his eyes: surprise, guilt, and something else you can't quite place.
"I..." he starts, voice shaky. "Y/N, you can't just𑁋"
"Just answer the fucking question, Kim Mingyu." You clench the petal in your hand, feeling its dry, sharp edges dig into your skin. Then you realise the harshness to your words, softening your eyes and lowering your voice. "Please."
The room seems to close in around you as you wait for Mingyu's response. His hesitation hangs in the air, and you see the way his shoulders slump and the way his face contorts as he struggles to find the right words to say to just a simple question.
"I... I don't know, Y/N."
His words stab your heart. It's getting hard to breathe, but you can't let yourself cough now. Not in this moment. The petal in your hand crumples into dust as you clench it tighter.
"What the hell do you mean, you don't know?" Your voice trembles as you ask, searching his eyes for any sign of reassurance. "You either love me or you don't, just tell me, for God's sake."
Your frustration is evident, tone catching him off-guard. Mingyu's gaze drops to the table, and he lets out a heavy sigh.
"...I'm sorry, Y/N. I-I'm so so sorry."
His words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. This is what you've been afraid of, what you've been trying to avoid. But now that it's out in the open, it feels like a heavy weight has been lifted, even if it's crushing you at the same time.
And then, you feel it𑁋a sharp pain to your lungs that makes you gasp as if you've been stabbed by a searing blade. The room spins as you struggle to catch your breath, your hands trembling as you clutch your chest, letting out harrowing coughs after coughs. Mingyu jumps up from his seat, immediately racing to your side.
"Y/N?! Shit, Y/N, you're bleeding𑁋"
You can't respond, the pain in your chest and the taste of blood in your mouth overwhelming your senses. You hold onto him for support as another bout of coughing consumes you. This isn't how you wanted to reveal your condition to him, but there's no hiding it now.
You feel the way Mingyu scoops you into his arms, the blood from your mouth and the petals staining his shirt as he reaches for his phone to dial emergency services. His voice is helpless and frantic, and within seconds, minutes, maybe even whole hour, you hear the distant wail of approaching sirens.
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The soft hum of machines echo through the air as you stir awake, eyes fluttering open and the blinding white lights above blurring your vision. The first sensation that you register was the overwhelming scent of disinfectant filling your nose, sharp and pungent. Then came the dull ache in your chest that makes your breath quietly hitch.
Blinking your eyes open, you realise you're in a hospital room, the pale morning light filtering through the curtains. The sight of white walls and strange medical equipment, an IV line running into your arm, makes your heart race anxiously. You try to take a deep breath, but then you feel that ache in your chest again, and it makes you groan.
Just then at that moment, a young looking nurse enters the room, her eyes widening when she catches sight of you awake and distressed.
"Easy now," she says, rushing to your side and gently pushing you back down onto the bed. "You've just had surgery. You need to rest."
Surgery...?
You could only nod weakly, your throat too dry to speak. You watch as the nurse adjusts some of the monitors and checks your vitals, making sure everything was in place.
"Everything went well during the surgery," she reassures you. "But the hanahaki flowers had grown more aggressively than expected and showed signs of piercing through your lungs. It's a good thing we performed the emergency surgery when we did."
Hanahaki... The word lingers in your mind as you try to make sense of it all. Memories began to resurface: the petals mixing with your blood, the coughing fits, and... Mingyu. It all seemed so distant now, as if it had happened to someone else.
"You were lucky that we caught in time before the growth would have overtaken your lungs," the nurse says sympathetically while writing down your vitals on a chart.
Lucky. How ironic. You were alive, yes, but at what cost? You couldn't help but wonder if the surgery had taken more from you than just the hanahaki flowers.
And then it hits you.
There's no trace of the pain that had clawed at your chest for so long, except for the skin atop your heart where you can feel the incisions. The hanahaki flowers are gone, removed during the emergency surgery, but there's something else missing too𑁋your feelings, your love, for Mingyu.
You feel nothing. No pining, no longing, no aching heart. It's as if a weight has been lifted from your chest, but the emptiness is... disquieting, unnerving, just a void, a hole in place of where your warmth resided in.
You're no longer in love with Mingyu, just like he is for you.
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taglist (open) ʚɞ @enhazen @haowrld @ylliris-hanniehae @icyminghao @slytherinshua @jeonride @lockburn-castle @vrnism @weird-bookworm @mhlsymlysn @ryuwonieebae @yeonjuns-redhair
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ganjas-shit · 22 days
Text
Oh, You’re Breaking My Heart
Summary: You get to the bottom of Billy’s feelings but will it be too late?
Pairings: Billy x reader, slight Steve x reader (nothing too crazy)
Warnings: 18+ minors dni, sexual intercourse, cursing, abuse, blood, harsh language, Neil Hargrove, angst, mention of drugs, mental illness, panic attack.
Authors note: So, turns out I will be turning this into a series but STILL don’t know how long yet! I hope you guys enjoy I’ve been working on this all day. Message me or comment if you’d like to be apart of the tag list! Thank you for your support <3
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Chapter Two: You’re gonna be okay.
⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩ ⋆。°✩
The morning air was crisp and refreshing, like sipping cool water. It felt invigorating against your skin, awakening your senses to the day ahead.
You took one more deep breath, enjoying the cool air in your lungs and closed the door behind you, locking it with your house key, and made your way towards the front of your house waiting for Steve’s arrival.
You close your eyes before slapping a hand over your forehead. “Shit,” you mutter under your breath, realizing you forgot to call him this morning. With his habit of sleeping in, you’d likely be late for the billionth time only this time you didn’t find it in you to care, the excitement from last nights events still lingered in your belly.
Billy showed a different side of himself, setting aside his usual arrogance and charm. This unexpected change only fueled your excitement, leaving you eager to learn more about him.
The sound of Billy and Max bickering snapped you out of your thoughts. Though you couldn’t discern their exact exchange, it was evident Billy had the upper hand as Max slammed the passenger door of his car. “Watch it, shitbird, or you’ll be walking to school!” Billy’s voice echoed with attitude and irritation. Neil’s sudden appearance brought a stern reminder for Billy to mind his words when speaking to his sister
As he was about to get into his car, your eyes met his ocean-blue ones, but they held anger towards you, making you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. You immediately shook it off, offering him a wave and your bright, sweet smile. He maintained eye contact for a moment but disregarded your greeting, hopping into the driver’s seat of his blue Camaro.
You stood there, dumbfounded, watching him speed off, cringing at the loud sound of his departure. Did you do something? You thought to yourself.
You found the interaction between him and his father last night rather odd. His father’s presence was intimidating and uncomfortable, yet Billy left with a small smile directed towards you. It seemed like he was grateful for your conversation, so you couldn’t understand what could’ve happened.
Steve arrived momentarily, surprisingly on time, his burgundy bmw stopping right in front of you house. You climbed into the passenger side, a mixture of frustration and disappointment bubbling within you. With a heavy hand and a distracted mind, you slammed the passenger door of Steve’s car.
“Hey, easy!” He yelled, his tone irritated at your lack of consideration for his precious baby, bringing you back to the present moment. “Sorry,” you mumbled, shifting your belongings to the front of your legs and fastening your seatbelt.
“Jesus Christ,” Steve huffed. “Who pissed in your cereal this morning?” He glanced towards the driver’s window, checking for any incoming cars or pedestrians.
“Billy Hargrove,” you muttered grumpily, turning your gaze out the window as the trees and houses began to blur with the increasing speed of Steve’s car.
Steve looked over at you, his grip tightening on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white in the process. “Yeah, well, at least you’re not being benched today because of him,” Steve said, his tone tinged with anger at the fact that Billy clearly upset you and at the realization that he’s not starting or playing the opening game today.
You remained quiet still distracted by your thoughts.
“What happened?” Steve asked, glancing over towards you. You straightened up and began explaining what had occurred the night before.
You started to explain the night in vivid detail to Steve, although he wished you wouldn’t have because he already didn’t like the idea of you and Hargrove together, and hearing the details made him inwardly vomit.
The car came to a halt when you had arrived at school. Steve parked and took the key out of the ignition, taking a deep breath before speaking.
"Billy’s always kind of had a weird temper, y/n," Steve spoke carefully. He wasn’t being judgmental; he's just been a firsthand witness to it. "Him and I have roughed each other up a couple of times," he admitted.
Your eyes widened in disbelief. “You guys fought?! MORE THAN ONCE? ” You felt a surge of anger; Steve had lied to you. “So that one day after school, when you had a bruised eye, it wasn’t from bumping into a locker, it was from Billy?!” You mimicked Steve’s stupid voice, scolding him.
Steve rolled his eyes at your reaction, his head hitting the back of his headrest. It was the very reason he didn’t want to tell you, because he knew you’d freak out like this. “Can you let me finish?” he asked, a hint of exasperation in his voice.
You waved your hands at him, signaling for him to continue.
“It was after practice one day, Neil, his dad had come to watch our scrimmage game,” Steve spoke.
Steve never forgot that day. Neil Hargrove looked like the biggest dick of a father anyone could have, and the way he spoke to Billy that day confirmed it.
"Billy, stop being a fucking pussy and get on defense!" Neil screamed, as if he were the assistant coach or something. Steve knew Billy could play defense; hell, he was the one who taught him to plant his feet properly.
Steve had the ball, with Billy defending closely. As Steve dribbled, scanning for an opening, he noticed Billy's distant and uneasy expression; it wasn’t filled with arrogance and a cocky smile like it usually was. "Hey man, you alright?" Steve asked, still dribbling. Billy's response was a glare of rage, yet he seized the opportunity. With a swift move, he snatched the ball from Steve's hand, pushing past him, sending Steve on his ass. Smoothly dribbling past him, Billy scored.
When Billy scored, he yelled and smiled as he usually did, then looked to the sidelines where his father stood, seeking some sort of approval or applause from him. However, he received nothing. Neil walked out, acknowledging nothing and Billy’s smile faltered immediately.
Coach Williams called an end to practice, and everyone left for the locker rooms to shower. Steve stayed for a couple more minutes to stretch his legs. As he walked out, he heard some yelling. Curious, he peeked over the wall to his right and saw Neil and Billy. He couldn’t make out what they were saying, but he did see Neil push Billy into the wall. Although he wasn’t close enough to hear the exchange, Billy looked frightened, and Neil appeared angry at God knows what. Steve witnessed Neil slap Billy once in the face, causing even him to flinch. With that, Neil left, leaving Billy there. Billy’s head hung low as he looked at his shoes and wiped his eyes.
Steve didn’t know what to do but he did what felt right. Again he asked like a broken record. “You alright?”
Billy flinched at the sound of Steve’s voice. “What did you see?” Billy spat with rage. Steve was confused and even hurt by his response. He was just asking if he was okay? Jesus Christ, was this kid always angry and defensive? Steve thought.
Steve decided Billy was a lost cause. He rolled his eyes, turned his back on him, and decided to just leave.
"Are you deaf?" Billy spat, his voice filled with anger, as he followed behind Steve and forcefully pushed his back, causing Steve to stumble and fall once again.
Steve's empathy ran out, replaced by anger. He got up and pushed Billy back. "Looks like you got some fire in you after all, Harrington!" he laughed manically. Steve noticed Billy's bloody nose, but it wasn't from him; it was from Neil.
Billy then charged at Steve, landing a punch on the right side of his face, and Steve retaliated almost instantly. They grappled and exchanged blows for a couple of minutes until Tommy H. and another teammate intervened to break up the fight.
You let out a deep sigh as Steve finished speaking.
Your heart broke for Billy; his father was a despicable, abusive piece of shit. You felt like an idiot for not seeing it earlier, but it still didn’t justify him taking it out on you. Did his father say something about you? You glanced sympathetically at Steve, who had tried to help and ended up with a blow to his right eye. Billy had no right, and while you don't excuse his behavior, you can't help but empathize with him.
"Just be careful with him, y/n," Steve said, his tone filled with concern. "He’s erratic and unpredictable," he added, his worry still evident.
Billy wasn’t a monster; you knew that. You also knew you could handle yourself; you didn’t need protection. After all, you had experience in this department; you dealt with a verbally abusive mother once upon a time.
You smiled at Steve. “I can handle myself. If I can handle the demogorgon, demo bats, and Vecna, I can handle Billy Hargrove,” you said, grabbing his hand that was resting on the center console and squeezing it gently. “Now let’s get to first period before clickety-clackety marks us late.” You finished letting go and opening the passenger door.
Steve did the same. “You know I hate when you and Robin call her that,” he said, now closing and locking his car. “It sounds nerdy,” he explained, speeding up to walk next to you.
Steve grabbed his hand attempting to calm the tingle he felt it in after your touch.
"Too bad," you said, playfully sticking out your tongue as you headed to class, earning you a classic Harrington eye roll. “Wait, how is that nerdy?” You chimed in again, sparking a lively banter between the two of you that continued until you reached class.
.
You got through your classes today only to be bombarded with more work.
The day you’d been dreading all week: the opening game of the season for Hawkins High.
You only ever enjoyed it when Steve played, but with him not playing tonight, the day seemed even worse. However, I suppose you could try to look on the bright side because it was Billy’s debut.
You walked around the gym, proud of yours and Billy’s work; the banners looked great. You double-checked that everyone was in their rightful place. Cheerleaders? Check. Band? Check. Student council? Check. Eddie Munson? Wait, Eddie Munson? At the Hawkins High opening game? No, it couldn’t be.
Eddie strode your way, wearing his infamous hellfire tee, paired with black ripped jeans and a silver chain that hung at the loops of them.
"What the hell are you doing here?" You questioned, smiling, genuinely surprised to see Eddie Munson at the opening game.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m thinking about convincing coach Williams to let me join the basketball team,” Eddie said, mimicking shooting a basketball poorly. “Gotta work on my basketball moves,” he added, moving on to mimic dribbling, which was downright horrid.
“Clearly,” you said, laughing at his terrible performance. “Your form is so off, and you look like you have no rhythm,” you added with a chuckle.
“Oh, I have rhythm. But it’s all in the fingers, baby… And trust me, the ladies love it… both ways,” he said with a smirk, punctuating his words with a wink.
You roll your eyes. “Smooth, Casanova.”
“Why are you really here? Is it Chrissy?” you say, raising your eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner. “Or oh no, wait a minute, are you swooning over Billy Hargrove too?” you tease.
He scoffed slightly, his cheeks flushing at the mention of Chrissy’s name.
“No, but if you must know, O’Donnell said if I checked in with her after the game tonight, she’ll give me extra credit,” he explained, wiggling his eyebrows. You couldn’t help but laugh at how much of a dork he was.
But as you conversed, you couldn't help but notice the glares directed your way, especially from Carol and her friends, who were whispering about the two of you. Admitting it was difficult, but you found yourself affected by the things people said. It stung deeply; the cruelty of others weighed heavily on you, especially considering your own past involvement in similar behavior, which made you feel like you deserved the treatment you were receiving.
You shook off the thoughts that invaded your mind and refocused your attention back to Eddie.
“Wanna sit together? I have good seats in the student council section,” you said cheesing, reaching out to poke his stomach.
"Wow, Eddie Munson getting invited to the VIP section at his first Hawkins high basketball game? Count me in," he said, falling into step behind you as you headed towards the student section.
“You are such a dork.”
You and Eddie made your way to your seats, exchanging greetings with Robin as you passed by. Shortly after, the band started playing, and the basketball team began to roll in.
The team then huddled up and Coach Williams sent in the starting lineup, you felt the anticipation building. The game was about to begin.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away from Billy. Ever since Steve gave you a little insight into who he was, he had been on your mind all day. Despite your best efforts, he didn’t turn his head once to look at you in class today, You had hoped to catch him after class, but that ditz Tina beat you to it. Seeing him all over her made you physically sick. It was nothing new, but today it stung a little more.
.
Billy’s facade of arrogance and confidence was beginning to crack.
He wasn’t prepared for this game, his mind consumed by the events of the previous night. His father had never offered him approval, kindness, or any form of support. But he did for you, which only fueled his bitterness toward you. Billy had dedicated himself to sports, hoping to earn his father’s affection and love. And the only commendation his father ever uttered was about you, summed up in just two words.
“Nice girl.”
Billy came to the conclusion that that’s why his father made those comments about you, realizing that Neil was drawn to submissive, weak, and timid women. It gave him a sense of control, a power trip that he relished, and it was the only valid reason.
But, he knew you weren't weak; you stood up for yourself, you were resilient, but it unsettled him. Since the age of 13, Billy had been consumed by anger after his mother left. She abandoned him, leaving him with a void. In you, he found a sense of safety similar to what he felt with his mother. He was unexplainably drawn towards you. Yet, the thought of attaching himself to you terrified him, fearing you might leave just like his mother did.
The thought of his father wanting you for him unsettled him deeply and fueled his desire to rebel. His mind was a war zone; he was caught between conflicting feelings that were tearing him apart.
He couldn’t help but think that Neil wanted him to follow in his footsteps.
Tommy nudged his shoulder snapping him back to reality, “Hey? You ready to kick some ass Hargrove,” Tommy asked excitedly.
Billy nodded, mustering up everything within him to get his mind straight, but then he saw you in the crowd next to Eddie Munson.
His heart ached a little, he felt guilty about this morning, and he started to feel jealousy course through his veins as he watched you laugh with the mop-headed boy. He kept his eyes on you for so long that he completely missed the sound of the whistle going off.
Shit.
The opposing team took had the ball in play and Billy’s mistake was seen by the entire school resulting in the opposing team making their first point.
The crowd was visibly upset with their screams and yelling and this made Billy’s adrenaline increase and his heart rate was speeding up drastically. His father wasn’t present, dinner with his coworkers was much important than his sons first game but why was he hearing him in the crowd?
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING BILLY? WAKE THE FUCK UP.”
“YOU ARE WEAK JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER, SHE LEFT ME WITH A GOOD FOR NOTHING SON.”
“Pussy. Get up pussy.”
“Nice girl.”
His father's words echoed in his mind, panic rising. In the midst of the play, he signaled the refs with his right hand while clutching his tightening chest with his left, the crowd's screams growing louder.
“TIMEOUT. TIMEOUT.” Coach Williams screamed and the game came to a halt. The crowds screams turned into whispers and murmurs.
“Billy what’s gotten into you boy?” Coach Williams asked, “Can you do this or do I need to pull you out?”
“I need a minute.” Billy said gripping the chest of his uniform, making his way towards the nearest exit.
“HARRINGTON GET YOUR ASS UP YOU’RE IN,”
.
Billy held his gaze on yours, and yours remained locked with his. You both were so lost in each other’s eyes that the sound of the ref’s whistle made you jump. You cringed as Billy messed up, not because you cared about basketball, but because you knew how harsh the crowd could be.
Eddie looked from Billy to you, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.
“Okay, what was that? ” Eddie spoke up, curious about the exchange of longing between you and the jock.
You sighed deeply.
“Eddie, I have a question,” you stated, your voice catching slightly. "Can I ask you about your dad?" you asked carefully, not wanting to upset Eddie or stir up painful memories.
“My dad?” Eddie questioned clearing his throat, confused at the sudden subject change, “Um yeah go head shoot,” he said as he crossed one arm over another. You looked over at Billy which didn’t go unnoticed by Eddie.
“After you got away from your dad, what was your personality like? Was it hard to trust people, let them in?” You asked refocusing your gaze to him.
Eddie briefly mentioned his dad while we were in the midst of hot-wiring his neighbor's RV a couple of months ago. And when you guys were gearing up for the upside-down, you had downtime leading to a deep talk about your parents, getting to know how bad Eddie had it growing up with his father. He was a schizophrenic, dope fiend, off his meds, obviously. His mother died of alcohol poising when he was about 7 years old, and he knew his father to be an addict his entire life, always in and out of jail, erratic, delusional, always up to trouble. His father didn’t take Eddie’s mother's death well; his mental state started to deteriorate, the drugs clashing with his illness more and more, and he started blaming Eddie for his mother's death, beginning to put his hands on him. Cigarette burns, bruises, black eyes—you name it, he had it.
CPS got involved, and his father was thrown into a psychiatric home. Eddie was alone, abused, for eight years until his uncle Wayne took him in at 15.
“Oh yeah, definitely. It took me a while to trust anyone,” he said with a dark chuckle. “My uncle Wayne was a patient man. I was rebellious, and I started to follow in my old man’s footsteps. It scared the shit out of me because I was hurting my uncle Wayne, but it was all I knew.” Eddie said, “My uncle Wayne taught me what love was, what it meant to be a true father. If I didn’t have that or some type of good in my life, I would’ve been screwed,” he reflected eternally grateful his uncle saved him.
You pulled Eddie in for a hug, grateful that he had shared with you, and he returned the gesture. After letting go, you took a deep breath, feeling a sense of clarity as you connected the dots.
“Billy’s in the same boat,” you admitted, “but he’s not letting me in,”
Eddie let out a sigh, looking at you sympathetically.
“You’re still a kid, y/n, and you’re not responsible for him. It took my uncle Wayne a while to snap me out of it. It wasn’t easy,” he said, looking over at you with genuine concern.
“Eddie, I’m far from a kid. I practically raised myself since my mom left. You’re forgetting who you’re talking to,” you said, slightly irritated at his reaction. Eddie regretted his choice of words, but he still meant them. You weren’t responsible. “He needs people like us around him. He’s not a bad person; he just doesn’t know any better, just like you at one point.” You said, your words making Eddie feel sympathy for Billy Hargrove.
.
The ref’s whistle blew, signaling the game was about to begin once again, and to everyone’s surprise, Steve was in?
“Holy shit! Yeah, Steve!” You exclaimed, leaping up from your seat in excitement. “Look, Eddie, Steve’s in!” With a playful slap on his chest, you urged Eddie to stand and join in applauding Steve’s entrance onto the court.
Eddie rolled his eyes and threw Steve a thumbs up filled with fake enthusiasm. You slapped his chest again, but this time it wasn’t playful; it actually hurt.
As the game commenced, you glanced over to the bench, Billy nowhere to be found. Concern gnawed at you, but you opted to give him his space, especially since he made it clear he didn’t want to be near you. You also needed time; you wanted to talk to him, but you didn't know how to go about it.
"I don’t understand the love for this stupid game. Don’t people know about D&D?" Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes, feeling ashamed he was even here.
“Oh, people know about it alright,” you said sarcastically, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “devil worshipper.”
Eddie dramatically gasped. "Take it back now or I’ll scream," he threatened, his voice filled with mock horror.
.
The night was an absolute blast. Steve's buzzer-beater brought the crowd to their feet, while Eddie's extra credit points from O’Donnell raised his grade to a D+. Principal Higgins even praised your role in the evening's success.
Steve confidently informed you about Billy’s failures, claiming he caught a bug that prevented him from continuing to play today. However, this seemed odd to you, considering he appeared perfectly fine this morning.
Billy was obviously lying.
You congratulated Steve as you bid him farewell, somewhat pleased to see King Steve back in action. Not wanting him to miss out on tonight's fun, you asked Eddie to give you a ride home.
The ride was nice and quiet which was much needed after todays events.
He dropped you off at home, and you made your way to your door. You jangled your keys until you found the right one and stuck it through the keyhole.
You found your way inside and you were welcomed to an empty house yet again, the same note still stuck to the fridge.
You went to your room and started to tidy it up until you heard the sound of Billy’s car pulling up, music blasting from it. He drove like such a maniac, he reminded you of Eddie.
You took a peek out your window and saw that he wasn’t alone.
Oh?
Tina was with him, and they were making out like fucking animals. This angered you beyond words. Did he have no consideration for his neighbors?
You opened your curtains aggressively, then your window which made a loud noise when it hit the top. You didn't know what came over you, but you couldn't care less.
"Hey! You two, mind shutting the fuck up?!" You yelled with all your might from your window, pulling Billy and ditzy Tina away from their heated make-out session.
"You mind fucking off?!" Billy yelled back. Your laughed bitterly which was then accompanied by a defiant middle finger thrown his way, to which he replied the same. With a frustrated sigh, you shut your window and cranked up the volume on your Walkman, drowning out the rowdiness from outside.
.
Your interruption infuriated him, rudely disrupting his moment with Tina and making things much more difficult between them.
“Billy maybe we should go somewhere else?” Tina purred, “Maybe lovers lake?” She implied, shoving her tits in his face.
"Nah, here will do. I can’t wait, doll," he said roughly, ripping the bra off her chest along with her panties. Billy’s dick was rock hard, it angered him so much, because all he could think about was you.
Tina lay sprawled out in his backseat, completely nude, and he couldn’t help but think about you, right next door, likely to hear every bit of it.
He lined his dick up at her entrance and hissed at the feeling. He closed his eyes and began to thrust mind falling back to you.
The way your nipples poked through your shirt that night, your perky tits filling his mind with so much imagination. Your flushed face and the way you clenched your thighs when he spoke to you, oh doll you don’t know what you’re missing. He was sure you hadn’t been touched properly with the way your body responded to him, hell, you probably hadn’t been touched at all.
Fuck, he thought, as he thrusted harder into the poor girl. If only she knew who he was imagining instead of her.
Her moans filled the car, echoing through the entire block. Billy was in for a treat tonight with his father.
"Oh god, Billy, right there, yes, yes!" She exclaimed with pleasure. Billy drowned out the sound of her voice and replaced it with the way you screamed at him a couple of minutes ago, you turned him on so much, especially when you were jealous.
Anger quickly consumed him again as he started to think about everything that took place yesterday, today’s game, and you. God, you were infuriating. You invaded his brain like some parasite, and he couldn’t decide whether it was a butterfly larvae destined to flutter around inside of him or a brain-eating parasitic worm who would gnaw at him for a eternity.
He fucked Tina harder, and harder feeling her clench beautifully around his cock. Sweat glistened on his forehead and his tan chest, the feeling quickly filling his body with pleasure, his movements starting to slow.
Unable to contain himself any longer, his groans grew louder.
“Ah, shit, fuck y/n,” he said with his eyes closed, tilting his head back cumming hard into the condom. As his high came down, he mentally scolded himself and closed his eyes once again, but this time in irritation.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Tina screamed, pushing him off of her, “You’re fucking that freak?!” She yelled dramatically.
Billy rolled his eyes.
"Need a ride home, or are you walking?" Billy asked, his tone nonchalant as he completely disregarded her reaction, casually pulling up his pants and getting dressed.
Tina rolled her eyes back at him. “You’re fucking unbelievable, Hargrove. Take me home,” she huffed, quickly redressing herself.
Billy smiled, hopping into the front seat, and drove off.
.
Once he was done with that, he drove back home, preparing himself for what was about to happen.
"Left eye? Right eye? Nah, too noticeable. People will start asking questions. The stomach? Yeah, that's more of Neil's style," he laughed bitterly, talking to himself.
This is what he wanted. He didn’t care anymore. He always managed to piss his father off somehow, and it would never be on purpose. This was him taking his power back. He’ll give him something to be upset about, he thought, determination coursing through him.
Stepping out of the car, Billy was enveloped by the quietness of the night.
He walked up the steps of his porch and took a deep breath before opening the door. As he entered, there was Neil, seated on the couch as if he were some kind of king. Billy closed the door behind him, locking it securely.
The silence stretched on for a few tense seconds, with nobody daring to break it. Neil waited for an immediate apology, hoping to see Billy cower in fear, but as the apology failed to come forth, Neil's anger only grew more intense.
"You know, with the amount of times I've beaten you, you would think that respect is drilled into that thick fucking brain of yours," Neil spoke up, his voice laced with venom and rage.
Billy stood there unfazed by his father’s words, bored even.
"Don’t you get tired, Dad? Tired of being a shitty fucking father?" Billy spat, laughing bitterly. Neil's eyes widened, and he stood up. "When you act like a shitty parent, this is what you get—a shitty son," Billy finished, his words dripping with resentment and defiance.
Billy’s heart pumped vigorously.
“I pity you. You’re a coward,” he spat out with contempt.
Neil charged at Billy, causing him to fall onto his back, and started throwing punch after punch at his face. “Who do you think you are, huh?!” Neil stopped to grab the collar of Billy’s shirt, bringing his face up to his.
"Your son," Billy spoke, his voice wobbly, blood coming out of his nose, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He was deeply saddened by the poor excuse of a father he had.
Neil laughed dryly. “God, you’re a spitting image of her. You’re just like her too, pathetic,” he spat. “And I’m a coward? Are you forgetting that she abandoned you? She left you with me. What does that say about her?”
Billy now fueled with rage pushed Neil off of him and punched him dead in the face. All hell broke loose after that, with both men fighting seemingly to the death. Billy ended up on his back again, and this time Neil didn’t stop. Billy's vision started to blur, and the last thing he heard was Max and Susan's frantic voices as they attempted to pull Neil off of him.
.
You were drifting into a deep sleep until a loud banging on your door jolted you awake. Your eyes widened, and you got up immediately, the sound of your Walkman still playing in the background.
You ran towards the door as if it were instinct, and there stood Max. She was sobbing, tears staining her red cheeks.
“Max, what’s going on? Is he back?” you asked, reminded of what still lies beneath this town. Max shook her head vigorously.
“No, it’s Billy. Please, y/n, you need to help me and my mom get him into his car. Neil just beat the shit out of him and took off. We need to take him to the hospital!” She cried.
Without hesitation, you grabbed her hand and ran to the house next door. As you entered, you saw broken frames, beach shell decorations scattered everywhere, and broken glass littering the floor.
And there was Billy, his face bruised and gushing with blood. You wanted to sob instantly. The beautiful boy, with the most mesmerizing smile, lay unconscious on the floor, broken.
“I’ll take his arms, you two grab his legs. We need to move fast,” you said, suppressing every ounce of emotion and acting on pure instinct.
You all carefully descended down the steps, giving it everything you got, Billy wasn’t exactly light but you pushed with everything in you to get him into the back of that car. You fell into the back seat with him his head falling in your chest and Susan hopped in the drivers seat and max in the passenger seat.
You search Billy’s pockets and grab his keys, tossing them to Susan.
"Step on it, let's go! We have to hurry!" you said, your voice remaining calm but urging Susan to make haste.
Susan backed out of the driveway and stepped on the gas pedal of Billy’s car hauling ass to get to the nearest hospital.
You checked his pulse and confirming it’s still present, you notice his breathing is a bit light, sparking an overwhelming amount of anxiety within you.
You whisper softly in his ear, “You're going to be okay,” feeling tears welling up, but you quickly wipe them away, pushing your emotions down once more.
"Hey Susan, take a right here and pull into that spot," you instruct, recognizing the familiar surroundings.
You’d been here one too many times.
We pull right up to the emergency room entrance. Max rushes out, calling frantically for help. Two male nurses immediately respond, rushing out with a stretcher and opening the back seat of Billy’s car. You help him sit up slowly, and they swiftly pull him around with urgency, their movements slightly rough in their haste.
"Hey, watch it! Be careful with him!" you yell at the nurses, frustration and concern evident in your voice.
"Ma'am, please let us do our job," they respond firmly, their tone professional but reassuring.
We all hurriedly follow behind the nurses as they wheel Billy into the emergency room. A doctor approaches Susan, hoping for some insight into what happened so he can provide the best care possible. Susan tells him everything, providing as much detail as she can to assist in Billy's treatment.
"Please wait in the waiting room. We'll call you once we've assessed him and he's stable," the doctor says sympathetically, reassuring you as you reluctantly make your way to the waiting area.
You, Susan, and Max waited anxiously. Max buried her face into the crook of your neck, unable to contain her sobs. You brushed her hair gently, trying to offer comfort, but you were struggling to hold yourself together as well.
Being there brought back uneasy memories, and the uncertainty of Billy's condition only deepened your depression.
Over 25 minutes had passed, each second feeling like an eternity in the tense waiting room until,
"Miss Hargrove, miss Hargrove?" called a nurse, breaking the tense atmosphere. But as the nurse approached, her expression unreadable, a chill ran down your spine, leaving you to wonder what news she was about to deliver about Billy's condition.———————————————————————————
Taglist: @jennapancake @writethrough @callsignwidow @strlightfilms
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sicklyseraphnsuch · 8 months
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Simon is sad.
Ice King is a joke.
Winter King is a threat.
So, I kinda love how much further we explore into the differences between Simon and Ice King and all the parts in between.
With the Crown, Simon's personality gets injected with boundless, reckless, thoughtless confidence - which appears to have its roots in Evergreen or specifically, Gunter's perception of Evergreen.
However, Simon also infused the Crown's influence with his weird quirks, his desperation for love, and his immeasurable grief.
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In a different post, I wrote that the root of the Crown's curse latched onto Simon's love, which in its own way is his grief as well. These powerful emotions were decentralized so that even if Ice King couldn't quite understand the source of them, he felt them hard. And moreover, these emotions clouded his capacity to function.
So aaaaaall that infinite confidence tempered and sabotaged by Simon's sorrow, making Ice King into a joke. Oh, sure he's manipulative liar like the way he lied to Finn when he was trapped in the spirit world. But he's quite incompetent.
His intentions aren't any less selfish or destructive but he's just So Bad at the follow through. Absolutely dysfunctional. That makes him easier to laugh at even when he's doing stuff like slapping tape on PB's mouth as she's sleeping because he "breaks up with her" in the next minute.
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Winter King wouldn't need tape. That's the difference. Winter King is frightening because he can in fact follow through on all of his selfish and destructive impulses. When he lies, he can get away with it because he's a *good liar*. He's charming without being sad. He's confident without being annoying.
Winter King has Evergreen's strengths and Simon's charisma and wields it with deadly intent because he also lacks Simon's conscience and Simon's fixation on love and connection - true love and connection that isn't something he made in a lab. The fact that Winter King can be satisfied with hollow dolls that resemble his loved ones is TELLING.
Winter King and Ice King are fundamentally separated by their levels of lucidity and competence. And that's pretty much it. Even Winter King's memories remain frosted over and nothing like the original Simon Petrikov's
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Which leads me to the original Simon Petrikov. I truly enjoyed the way Simon is differentiated from Ice King and Winter King simply by showing his compassion - which both lacked. Simon immediately plead for Bubblegum's life whereas Winter King was like Nope.
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That was so good. Just emphasizing how the Simon and Ice King aren't a 1 to 1 reflection or transformation. Or in other words, that Ice King is not entirely Simon and Simon isn't entirely Ice King.
Also the subtext of Simon secretly resenting Winter King, being unsure if he wanted to be just like this weirdo who just goes around calling himself radical. This chuunibyou motherfucker. He really wants to be that? Really?
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But again! Simon's vindication at learning that the Crown can't be fought! Because also fighting is such hardwork and he spent a thousand or so years trying to do it, failing to do it. The way he almost whined at the Winter King, "but it's just so hard to fight the Crown", and he's just so tired. He's just too sad.
In the same way that Fionna wanted an easy, fun, no consequences adventure - Simon wants an easy, quiet, no consequences solution to all his depression. Simon doesn't want to be happy because happiness takes hardwork. All the shit that the Winter (Willpower) King was shilling? That's a lot of elbow grease.
Simon just wants to opt out of existence. Let the Crown take the wheel. He's done driving.
But therein lies... his curse. Winter King is euphoric because it came at the cost of the compassion that defines Simon Petrikov. Love and compassion is at the root of Simon's sorrow, but it's also the thing that keeps him here. Because Simon simply can't *not* help someone - even Fionna who has been a straight up dick to him this whole time.
Simon thinks that there's a "right way" to be cursed because he's holding onto the belief that he could stop existing and not hurt or harm anyone by choosing to do so. And this will keep him on the search. This will keep him as himself for another sad and hurting day, until he can find a way to run - flee without hurting anyone.
Spoiler: It's impossible.
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littlejuicebox · 3 months
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Camping for beginners.
Written to sort of kill two birds with one stone. @coyote-mint this isn't Astarion soothing a baby, but it is Astarion giving Tav a break as she goes on a little, well-deserved vacation! @davenswitcher I also worked your storybook prompt in! Hope you two both like it; thanks for prompts! Special thanks to @chickywickers for helping me name the twins. :)
Summary: Tav/You are out of town and Astarion is full-time daddy duty without the nanny. In an effort to keep three children entertained, he decides upon camping in the backyard.
Tags/Warnings: all fluff, parenthood, children, dadstarion, the mildest reference to sexual encounters, mildest reference to bg3 events and trauma
Word Count: 2.5K
*
Astarion is pitching a tent in the ground, cursing to himself every few moments as he goes about the task. Once upon a time, he’d had Tav or Karlach… or perhaps even an unenthusiastic Lae’zel or an overenthusiastic Wyll to assist him.
But now, it’s him and three little boys in the midsummer heat. Tav won’t be back until tomorrow morning, after a week away visiting Shadowheart and Lae’zel in the Dalelands. It’s a sunny Sunday, and Winifred, the nanny, has weekends off.
So it’s all up to papa for a day longer. He’s sweaty, tired, and pulling from deeply hidden reserves of patience he didn’t know he had until now.
Astarion thinks he has never missed his wife more in all their time together. One more day. He can do it, right?
“Gale, hold this for me,” The frustrated father directs, guiding his ever-obedient and sometimes now shockingly stoic six year old to one of the tent poles.
Gale nods and follows his father’s instructions as his little brothers scream and run around the orchard with toy swords, wreaking havoc as usual. The younger Ancunins are a tornado of scraped knees and sticky fingers at any given time. Their parents consider it a win if the twins make it an entire day without breaking something.
Evander and Finnick are naturally more wild and unruly than their older brother ever was. Astarion is painfully aware that the streak of disobedience in the duo comes entirely from him. The twins test his patience far more than Gale ever had, and in the absence of their mother, the two have become almost completely unhinged.
Tav is the twin wrangler; they are softer with her – but then, she’s always had a way with the more surly, roguish types. Her unique charm somehow soothes them into compliance. Astarion lacks the same skills and is, unfortunately, paying for it this weekend.
The younger boys are straying too far away for Astarion’s liking, and as he hammers a stake into the orchard’s fertile earth, he shouts at the twins, “Evan and Finn, you two had better get your little behinds back—“
He stops and sighs; the twins are too interested in their make-believe and paying absolutely no mind to their father and his chastisement. Astarion resumes his task and without even looking back up at his eldest asks, “Gale, will you please contain them for a moment until we finish this?”
A lazy wave of Gale’s hand, reminiscent of Astarion’s own flippant movements when he speaks, and vines spring from the earth. The tendrils wrap around Evander and Finnick, holding each of them by the torso. A second tendril springs to life from the soil and wraps around the brothers, pulling them into its embrace just as the first tendril recedes. This process continues in a domino effect until the twins are but a few feet from their father, struggling against the vines and expressing their displeasure with grunts and screams.
Astarion lifts his head from the stake and watches the scene in a mixture of amusement and amazement, and when the boys are sufficiently contained he turns to smile at his eldest, “You really are exceptionally talented, you know that, don’t you?”
Gale smiles and nods before he looks down at the ground, unable to meet his father’s proud gaze as he says, “I know, Papa.”
The eldest Ancunin boy struggled in school all last year. His fragile confidence took a huge tumble, which his parents were working to restore to the best of their ability. Gale always required softer hands in comparison to his brothers; Astarion was still learning how to navigate this difference.
“Let go!” The twins shout in unison, short limbs flailing against the vines gently containing their three year old bodies.
They look like mirror images of one another, down to the dark wavy hair parted in opposite directions and vitiligo patches splattered across opposing green eyes. Evander’s is on his left eye, Finnick’s is on his right. Together, they look like a Rorschach Test.
Astarion’s patience is gone; part of him considers leaving the duo trapped in the vines until Tav returns. He narrows his eyes at the youngest Ancunins, pointing accusingly at them with the hammer, “You two asked to camp outside, and after very insistent pleas, I agreed. So if you don’t want daddy to pack up this entire thing and take you both back into the house, you are to stand there. Quietly.”
Finnick, the younger of the twins by a few minutes, wrinkles his nose in displeasure at his father, “Mean, daddy.”
A slow, long exhale escapes Astarion as he stares at the surly three year old with furrowed brows.
“My child, you have no idea how mean I can be, now hush so that your brother and I can finish this,” Astarion instructs, and then returns to work pitching the tent, ignoring the frustrated whines and protests from the twins all the while.
*
Around the small campfire, the Ancunin boys roast marshmallows on sticks as Astarion reads a tale from one of their story books. Apple is, as almost always, curled up next to Gale. The eldest Ancunin boy sneaks the dog marshmallows and his father pretends not to notice.
If that’s the most rebellious Gale ever is, so be it. The twins are a different challenge, entirely.
The story is all about slaying dragons, knights in shining armor, damsels in distress… the usual. The topic is exceptionally boring to the father of three, given all he’s experienced, but he’s gotten used to pretending this ridiculous droll is highly entertaining and throwing his voice for his kids amusement. 
And, plus, if the twins are entertained, they aren’t causing mayhem, which is all Astarion can ask for tonight. Tav will be back in less than twelve hours, he reminds himself.
All hail his wife, Lady Ancunin, the Hero of Baldur’s Gate, and the hero of this household. 
This weekend has Astarion regretting any moment he might have taken her for granted or not shown enough appreciation for her.
While the father of three continues to read, a sudden rustling at the edge of the orchard catches everyone’s attention. The three-year-old twins instantly cling to one another in fear and Apple’s head snaps up to peer towards the possible threat.
“Werewolf!” Evander shouts.
“Vampire!” Finnick continues.
Gale giggles and shakes his head, “No… it’s a raccoon. I can hear her. She smells the food.” 
Astarion’s nose wrinkles in distaste as his silver-haired son takes his plate of leftovers and meanders toward the edge of the property, but he chooses to remain silent and let his son feed the vile creature. With Gale around, it’s a wonder they aren’t overrun with vermin and rodents galore. Though, the feral cat colony the little boy single-handedly created is likely keeping the other animal population at bay.
Gale places the plate down, whispers something to the raccoon, and returns back to the campfire, nestling his head into Apple’s side as he settles back into the dirt.
“Papa… there aren’t really vampires and werewolves out in the woods… right?” Gale questions, his eyebrows shooting up into his forehead in concern as he thinks.
“Perhaps not in the woods right here…” Astarion responds, trying to figure out how to be honest with his children without frightening them entirely, “But they do exist… I’ve killed a vampire before.” 
At this the two younger Ancunins gasp and Gale shoots back up to sitting, his green eyes widened in shock as he asks, “You’ve killed a vampire before?” 
Astarion chuckles. Sometimes he forgets how little his children truly know of his past. He shuts the storybook in his lap closed and nods, a small smile crossing his face, “I have. Your mother helped me. Would you three like to hear about it?”
“Yes!” The boys all shout in unison, all coming as close to their father as they possibly can.
“Very well,” Astarion agrees with a grin, and then he launches into the tale of fighting Cazador, mindful to keep everything as child-friendly as a gorey battle can possibly be and leaving his enslavement entirely out of the picture. The children will learn about that later, he thinks, but now is not the time.
The boys are wholly captivated by their father’s tale until the twins begin to drift off, slumped against one another. Gale is the only one still awake when his father finishes the story. There is a moment of quiet at the end as his eldest reflects upon all that was revealed to him.
“Were you scared, Papa?” He finally asks, his fingers threading into the curled fur on Apple’s back.
Astarion nods in response, “Of course, Gale. But… I think you cannot be brave if you don’t feel a bit scared, first.”
The eldest Ancunin boy sighs. He has feelings about this that he has not yet been able to put into words. Gale’s general kindness and gentleness is such a stark contrast to many of the kids at school; he’d gotten himself into more than one scuffle. He was perceived as an easy target, because he knew better than to use his powers on the other children. As a result, Gale often simply let the other children attack him, not ever wanting to hurt anyone, even if it was in his defense.
Astarion had, more than once this year, gone to the school and threatened to retract their donations if the issue was not resolved. One of the child’s parents had been hit with a lawsuit after Gale returned home with a black eye. But come the start of next term, there was a strong chance this behavior would continue.
He and Tav had both lost countless hours of sleep over this very topic.
“How do you know…” Gale starts, and then stops with another sigh, staring up at the stars as he tries to find his words, “How do you know when it’s time to fight back?”
There is a moment of silence as the older elf considers this question. How do you know?
“If someone doesn’t listen when you ask them to stop, that is how you know, Gale,” Astarion responds, finally, his hand coming to ruffle the curls upon his eldest’s head, “And if someone is hurting you or someone you care about, and they refuse to stop when you ask them the first time, that is all the permission you need. Your mother and I will always agree with you if you are protecting yourself or your brothers in defense, little prince.” 
The silver-haired six year old nods with a yawn, his fingers still curled in Apple’s fur.
“Now come on, let’s get you and your brothers inside the tent for the night,” Astarion directs, picking up one of the twins and holding the flap open for Gale. He gets the two boys settled before returning to retrieve the remaining one and calling for Apple to join all four Ancunins. 
The fire is left glowing its final embers as the men all drift off to sleep.
*
You find the tent in the orchard after returning to a house filled with only your regular employees. Winifred, the nanny, and Pascal, the steward, are both clueless as to where your children and husband are this morning. When you enter the backyard, a snuffed fire and Apple keeping guard outside the tent not more than ten feet from the manor signal you’ve found your family.
You crouch and open the tent flap, only to be greeted by an adorable image. Astarion is on his back, one twin clinging to each leg and Gale nestled into the crook of his arm. All four of the Ancunins are still sleeping, seemingly exhausted from the night before. 
“Good morning, my little loves,” You greet in a soft murmur.
Astarion is the first to open his eyes and smile at you as he sits up, expertly maneuvering himself around three sets of other limbs.
“Welcome back home, Tav. We missed you. I think that perhaps I missed you the most.” Astarion greets, leaning forward to press an affectionate kiss upon your cheek and grabbing your hand to give it a squeeze.
“No, me!” Evander protests through a yawn as he scrambles to wrap his arm around your arm.
“No, me!” Finnick echos, sitting up and pushing a cluster of curls from his face to grin at you.
“I think it was me, mama.” Gale calls softly, his head still resting upon the pillow, eyes still shut.
You chuckle in response to this ridiculous argument before standing and lifting the tent flap entirely, “I missed you all, too. Alright everyone, let’s get inside for breakfast. I’m making pancakes.” 
A clamor of excitement from the Ancunin boys fills the orchard as your children exit the tent and begin the short journey back toward the house. Apple is running after them, her tail wagging excitedly because she knows she will get whatever leftovers the boys cannot finish.
As the children disappear into the house, Astarion grabs your hand with a mischievous grin, insistently pulling you into the tent with him.
“My love, the boys–” You begin to protest, but your husband cuts you off with a kiss pressed against your lips as his nimble fingers quickly shut the tent behind you.
“It’s Monday, surely Winifred is already in, hm?” Astarion questions, his mouth already trailing kisses along your neck, “She can handle the trio for… oh, twenty minutes?”
You gasp as the elf’s fingers slowly trail under your dress and up your thighs to grip at the flesh around your hips. And then you turn to meet your husband’s face as he pulls you into a kiss. Being in the tent reminds you of old times out on the road, all those years ago, and you quickly fall under the Astarion’s spell, just as you had back then.
Your husband breaks away from the kiss and begins to pull your dress over your head. He grins and roams his eyes over your body when you’re left in nothing but your underclothes, “And… not that it’s a competition, little love. But I maintain I missed you the most.” 
He doesn’t leave room for response as he pounces upon you, eager to show you just how much he missed you this past week. 
Less than twenty minutes later, the twins are back outside the tent, screaming impatiently for pancakes as an apologetic Winifred calls after them from the porch. Astarion groans and is forced to throw his trousers back on with a whispered, “We’ll finish this later tonight, hm?”
And then he’s climbing out of the tent, corralling the two younger Ancunin’s back into the house and buying you a moment to throw your dress back on before exiting yourself. 
When you enter the kitchen, Astarion has thrown his crumpled shirt back on and is already starting the pancake batter among a chatter of excited storytelling from the boys. Winifred is forcing the twins to wash their hands as they speak about the raccoon they thought was a monster and Gale asks you to confirm the two of you really killed a vampire.
At this last part you shoot Astarion a questioning look and he shrugs while flashing you an apologetic smile. He looks like the twins when they’ve been caught breaking something. You know you’ll have to follow up later, but for now, all you want to do is focus on your little loves.
They all missed you, and you missed them just as much. Perhaps more.
But it’s not a competition.
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✯my entry for the @croptopjames fest✯
jegulus | 1.3k | non-canon/magical au
summary:
It was revenge, they say, for a prank they played on the other houses. So if Lupin and Pettigrew got their trousers turn into shorts, and Black got his shirt turn into a crop top, then that means Potter—
“Did you hear what happened?”
“They say it was revenge for a prank on the other houses,”
“Seems like a weird way to take revenge,”
“Someone said it was a new statement for the dress code,”
“Of course those Gryffindors would come up with something like that,”
“Mila from my transfiguration class says someone charmed their clothes to transform into something else whenever they wear it. You know, trousers turn into shorts and—”
“Oh, so that’s why Lupin and Pettigrew were wearing shorts! But why was Black’s shirt cropped? Not that I mind the view but—”
“Maybe the spell worked in pairs? If Lupin and Pettigrew got shorts, and Black’s shirt was cropped, then maybe Potter got—”
But Regulus had heard enough.
He should’ve known something was off the moment he crossed Lupin and Pettigrew earlier that day wearing shorts of all things, but if he was completely honest with himself, his mind was somewhere else and didn’t even think twice about it. But now, after eavesdropping on a conversation of some sixth years, maybe he shouldn’t have been so dismissive.
Entering the Great Hall for lunch, Regulus makes a b-line for his seat at the end of the Slytherin table and starts filling his plate absentmindedly, trying to ignore the sight of his brother at the Gryffindor table, talking animatedly to Lupin and Pettigrew, still in those ridiculous clothes. His mind inevitably going to the person who’s conveniently, not among them.
The thing is, Regulus isn’t capable of thinking of a piece of clothing that would look bad on James Potter.
He has seen the guy practising on the Quidditch pitch for Salazar’s sake. He has had a front row of what James’ body looks like when he leans on his broom, quaffle in hand, gaining some speed over his fellow teammates. He has seen how his forearms look when he grips the handle hard and how his thighs squeeze the rear of the broom when he’s doing a particularly hard move so he doesn’t fall.
So no, he doesn't think there’s a piece of clothing that would look bad on him, he could pull any look, especially a crop top, and that is the problem, isn’t it?
Regulus could feel his cheeks warming at the thought. Oh no this is bad, what he’s going to do if he sees him wearing that? He’s going to make a fool of himself and he can’t afford that. No, Regulus needs to get the fuck out of there if he wants to make it with his dignity intact.
Practically stuffing his face, Regulus tries to be as quick as possible, cursing in his mind at the idiot who hexed James Potter to be stuck with that particular piece of clothing, or lack thereof, more like.
“Let it not be said that we don’t do anything nice for you, Regulus,” a voice comes from behind and Regulus freezes and then groans.
Looking up from his plate, he eyes the pair who has taken the seats in front of him, both looking smug as fuck, “You guys are unbelievable,”
Evan hums in agreement, “Aren’t we just?”
“Wasn’t a compliment,”
Barty tuts disapprovingly, stealing a piece of food from Regulus' plate and popping it in his mouth, “Why Regulus, we thought you would be thrilled by this, can’t believe you’re this ungrateful.”
“Crop tops, really?” He huffs, stabbing whatever is left of his chicken, “And don’t get me started on the shorts.”
“Those were my idea,” Evan mentions.
Regulus doesn’t get it, “Why though?”
“We couldn’t be so obvious and only hex Potter, we had to cover our traces,” Barty says, turning his head slightly to look at the Gryffindor table. “Besides, the others look ridiculous, minus your brother of course, the bastard is fit as fuck.”
“Why though?” Regulus repeats, this time even more aggravated at the notion of Barty ogling his brother.
Evan gives him a pointed look, “You know why,”
Regulus drop his gaze, sniffing lightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,”
Barty smirks at him, “You will,”
There’s a sudden ruckus at the entrance. The voices grow loud and you could hear some whistles here and there but what actually catches Regulus’ eyes when he looks up, is the man at the doors.
Something inside him is pleased to notice he was right about James looking good in any piece of clothing, especially something that would show his really fit body. James is looking a little dishevelled, but that only makes him look even prettier. Still enthralled by the sight of James Potter wearing something this sinful, Regulus notices a little too late a voice shouting really close to him, efficiently taking him out of his rivery.
“Looking good, Potter!”
“Barty!” Regulus hisses in embarrassment as James looks in his direction. And oh, the way he smiles at Regulus as soon as their eyes connect.
Regulus is incapable of doing much else under the intensity of that look, he wants to run like he had planned before. He wants to hide, not only from James but from the way he feels when he’s near. Pathetic as it is, the only thing Regulus is capable of doing is following James as he makes his way to the Slytherin table.
Regulus blinks hard at that. Wait, Slytherin table?
Before Regulus can process that, James is already standing right in front of him.
“Rosier, Crouch,” he greets them, still not taking his eyes off Regulus.
“Potter,” Barty nods in his direction. “Nice shirt, does it come in men’s?”
James grin turns sharp, “You don’t want me to answer that, Crouch,”
“Okay, time to go, have a great one!” Evan practically drags Barty aways as the latter cackles like a madman all the way out of the Great Hall.
When his laugh fades, James is still in front of Regulus and Regulus is purposefully looking at anything but his face, so his gaze inevitably fall at the only thing at his eye-level, James’ stomach.
There are beads of sweet running down over that beautiful golden skin and all Regulus wants, is to touch it to see if it’s as soft as it looks. Wondering how it would feel under his teeth.
James clears his throat to catch Regulus' attention. Unnecessary, since he hasn’t lost it the moment he entered the Great Hall.
“So, Regulus,” he starts.
“Yes?” He can see the trail of hair disappearing under the navy trousers. He’s having a hard time not to reach out and touch it.
He’s being so brave about this whole thing, someone should notified his mind-healer.
A beat of silence and then a hand, reaching for his chin and turning his face up, callous fingers against his soft skin. The sight of James’ playful smile makes something inside him melt.
“My eyes are up here, love.”
His cheeks get warmer out of the embarrassment of being caught. Not that he was subtle in the least but still, embarrassing.
James doesn’t seem to mind in the least.
“You’re blushing,” he notices.
Regulus' face is practically red at this point.
“Shut up,” he grumbles and James chuckles.
“No, no, I like it,” he says, voice soft. “Red looks good on you,” and then he proceed to fucking caressing his cheek.
It’s settled then, Regulus is living inside a romantic novel where making a fool out of yourself in front of someone you fancy is necessary and crop tops are a thing.
“What do you want?”
“Just wanting to say hello,” James says, eyes softening. “Hello,”
“Hi,” Regulus says, like an idiot.
“Fancy a Quidditch game with me?”
Regulus frowns. “Right now?”
“Why not?”
“You’re not wearing the proper gear,”
James smirks, “I think I will manage,”
This is a bad idea, a terrible one and Regulus knows it, everyone knows it and yet— “Lead the way then,”
James lets his hand drop from his face, and it takes all of Regulus not to chase the touch, but the feeling of loss is quickly replaced with excitement when he sees James holding his hand up for Regulus to take.
Regulus does, of course he does.
Hand in hand, they make it to the Quidditch pitch.
Together.
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cannellee · 3 months
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TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆
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୨୧ alpha! kojiro x omega! reader
— what kind of alpha is he with his omega
my masterlist: ☆
tw : red flags, yandereish
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he's so uncomfortable with his emotions. they're almost too much for him to bare. so he'll bury them, which makes it hard at first for you to get close.
what charmed him in you surely is your kind nature. kojiro isn't attracted to egotistical and violent people, he finds it refreshing to have such a bundle of joy next to him. you're glowing and with you, kojiro feels way better about his life and the future. it feels less scary.
it's the first time he ever feels the need to be careful around someone, to watch his mouth and behave. you're so small and frail, and you have such a gentle soul. kojiro is scared you won't be able to handle an unfriendly alpha like him.
he knows cute omegas like you like thoughtful and caring alphas. an alpha who'll tenderly kiss you, patiently scent you and shield you from the big and scary world. but kojiro isn't all that, and he knows it. but he doesn't want you to know that.
how can you look at him with your big, innocent eyes like that ? will you still look at him the same once you learn what he has done ? will you still trust him and believe him, stay by his side despite everything?
he feels so at ease with you. it's always so peaceful around you, as life can not be anything but easy. he wished he found you sooner.
your omega nature pushes you to look after your alpha, and this constant nurturing instincts you show him are a very nice change. you're so delicate and yet, you treat him warmly, without any judgement, as if he was the weak one.
                                     · · ୨୧ · ·
kojiro is a jealous person. he knows he isn't enough, he knows he isn't able to give you everything you deserve. but he'll try and accept every criticism you have to offer him, he won't say anything back. but if someone else does try to tell him to leave you, if someone gets in between the two of you, shooting disgusting wandering looks at his omega, kojiro acts accordingly.
yes, he wants to remain the most flawless possible in your eyes, but it sometimes can't be helped. and kojiro actually would rather disappoint you than let anyone touch you and risk your relationship. he can still make it up to you by apologising 'sincerely' – you're too surprised and pleased by his efforts of actually admitting his mistakes, that you quickly forget what you were even mad about in the first place – it always works.
in fact, you sometimes have to act as a mediator, softly scolding him for his lack of care and his rude behaviour towards others. you don't like it when he's being aggressive and he knows it, he tries hard to control himself around you but his emotions sometimes get the best of him. still, he never lashes out at you ; you trust him wholeheartedly and know that you don't have to be scared of him.
"kojiro, you can't talk to chifuyu like that, he's just trying to help you", your serious tone has him thinking twice about his next words. albeit still a bit grumpy and harsh, he won't be too disagreable. of course he will never apologise or talk nicely, but he will tone down the insults and become a tiny bit 'softer'. he'll carefully imagine what you'd like to hear from him, as he's not sure how to behave correctly. when you look at him with a satisfied look, he unconsciously releases a relieved sigh.
he's the type to blame others for his bad temper. you'll get mad at him for cursing out someone for no reasons, and he'll get even more aggressive with them, affirming that he's the one who caused your argument. "you're happy? look at what you did, now y/n is giving me the cold shoulder". he will learn, but for the time being, you're careful and indulgent.
                                     · · ୨୧ · ·
he does get a bit manipulative. as I said, kojiro is jealous and somehow a bit insecure. he'll blame you for talking to someone else ; he often gets the wrong idea and ends up genuinely hurt.
he growls and take it out on the object of your interest, on the asshole who stole your attention. it's truly terrifying sometimes. you can't do anything though, you can call his name all you want, he isn't stopping until he knows his omega won't be coveted anymore.
he's mad at you. annoyed that you let someone else get this close to you, especially when you know how possessive he is over you. why are you testing his limits?
"I'm sorry I'm so horribly jealous. tell me you love me, and only me". it's up to you to indulge in those crazy fantasies, but you'd better do because kojiro has the power and obsession to do much worse. he wants to keep you with him and he acts sometimes a bit too violently ; dragging you by the arm with enough strength to make your skin bruise.
he isn't exactly aware of what could hurt you. he grew up in a toxic environment and honestly clings to his only source of happiness like it's his life force. you're vital to him, he tries to change for the best because you asked him, and eventually, you do see improvements. but a lifetime of abuse and mistreatment aren't that easily forgotten. that's why having your sweet scent next to him is necessary ; he can feel you, scent and smell you. you're here with him, your presence is soothing.
he likes hugging your small frame, finding satisfaction in knowing he's the one who can keep you safe. you rely on him, and it sends a wave of pride to see you so blindly trusting him.
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doublekanble · 2 months
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heart
Alastor/reader (gnc)
romantic-platonic
word count: 5.5k
or, alastor is a man of many things, and you believed he can never love without hurting his love. tw: a small paragraph of al eating your heart.
1. “–I was right.”  you coughed, the more you do, the more your voice choked on itself. Your body seized and shuddered with every beat of your heart as blood spew from the wound, already giving up on getting yourself away when you can barely breathe. He wishes he could’ve made it easier for you, but he got caught up. “you really are selfish…”
As the hand he’s holding onto quickly grew cold, Alastor hoped, for all its worth, that when he fall, however long it’ll takes, you’ll find the strength to finally accept his love for you. For now, he set his left ear over your heart, his hair stained red, Alastor listened closely for what he thought was the last time, as you and your life stops entirely.
(having done this time and time again, for the first time in a long time, he felt a longing for warmth, your warmth, the one seeping from you and dissipating with the cold air in the night.)
2. If there is ever a need to described himself, then Alastor would be the first to say that he is a man of many thing.
The charming popular radio host of New Orleans, the life of the party, a bachelor second to none. He’s your friendly neighbor who greets you with a smile and a caring friend. He’s the perfect son and an amiable stranger. Everything you want, he will be. Everything, except all you ever wanted from him is someone to talk to.
You’ve always a strong fascination for writing from years gone by. From the gloomy and miserable words of a poor but astute poet, riddled with nihilism and pain, to a long-gone romanticist who wrote fairy tales and chasing love he couldn’t held in his hand, or a myth, lost to time and rewritten over and over again. All the books you ever care to curated in your home is that of the classic and the dead.
Perhaps that’s why he’d grown so attached to you and the poetry you sewn into existence with clumsy words.
With his unfortunate lot in life despite his mother’s best effort –god bless that woman, Alastor would, in time, learn how to play charade better than anyone else, barely remembering the last time he bother to show care to anyone else with love and honesty rather than bemusement. He doesn’t need moth-bitten books to guide him through conversation when he can just as easily play the role of a salesman, granting you the option to pick between a piece of stale bread or the last supper. But only a salesman in the end, his words and gestures is with all the saccharine and none of the sugar.
Although he could never hope to weaves paintings with his word, ever only a mockery of one, Alastor welcome his shortcoming in strides, as long as people bought into his act. For the love he lacks in his heart, valuable you, his treasured companion, would make up for it all.
In stark contrast to his hidden callousness, you were a much more genuine person. The books and stories you gathered throughout your short-lived life give you a means to convey the feelings that made up your whole existence. In the occasion where he manage to pick the right topic, you would choose to hastily penned out your thoughts, writings border-on obsessive as you speak of vivid strokes of emotions no single word in any language can ever hope to capture. And yet, your heart, enraptured by the scenery, frantically beat so loudly in your chest as you speak of worlds end and death departed with shared poison; it would also spoke of a love so ordinary and mundane.
You’d never mourned the Danish storyteller that chased love endlessly, simple deeming it a life worth living. He wondered if you ever regretted telling him that.
(you sing praises to the odds and the out of sort while cursing at the commonplace of life, Alastor charmed the ordinary and laugh at the macabre death brings. as long as you’re there by his side, he have no need to love anything else.)
 3. Just like everything else about you, your close proximity to Alastor is not the standard, and should always be seen as an exception.
That evening, you both got shooed away after a particularly early dinner, his mother’s only excuses was that you, the esteemed and beloved guest, already help with cooking, so it’s only natural you’ll get to spend the rest of the stay resting up. Even if the most you ever did was being so horrendous at chopping veggies, Alastor ended up taking over your load instead.
He laugh about it, saying that you’re pretending so you don’t have to do the work. His mother slapped him on the back of his head, while he nearly chop off his own fingers, she comforts you about your culinary skill. You smile at him when she turns her back on you both, knowing full well Alastor’s fighting his instinct to throw the first thing in his hand at you.
You two stand awkwardly on the porch and stare at the only available seat before Alastor argues that he did the most work so he should take the rocking chair. You point out how he’s practically whispering in the hope of his mother not noticing, he doesn’t bother to deny it.
After some mindless chatter, Alastor would suddenly joke about how if he were to ever read the same works as you, maybe he’ll be able to conceived a love so vicious and gentle too. You, sitting just by his feet, only gives him a sheepish smile. It wasn’t until before you’re at the front of his door, already bid his mother goodbye and ready to go back, that you would throw a remark at him.
“I think you’re a pretty vicious guy on your own,” you walk the three step down and continued through the front walk nonchalantly, hands in your coat pocket instead of linking with his like usual. “If you were to love someone, you’ll hurt them in the end. Even if you were to read all of my books.”
You stand at his gate. Although you’re waiting to see whether he’s going to go with you, you might as well have been gauging his reaction. Unconsciously, as he catches your gaze, he relaxed his grip and stride towards you like a panther to a sitting duck.
“You’re welcomed to, by the way. Just don’t dog-tag them.” Faint stinging shot through the heart of his hands from where his nails was digging into. His laugh sounds more like choking as he ignores your offer for now.
“Now, I wasn’t aware you have such a dreadful view of me, let alone thinking I can’t – what?” incredulously, Alastor barks “Love?! HAH!I supposed one of us are going to have to break that pathetic news to my mother.”
The moment he reach you, he catches a soft sigh falling from your lips, “It’s not that I think you can’t, Al.” the nickname that he imprinted on your frontal lobe sounded like nails on chalkboard, “It’s that I think you shouldn’t.”
“How delightful…”
You turned and began to walk on your own. If Alastor was anyone else, he would’ve taken this at face value and get offended at your eccentricity.
“And where, pray tell, does these impressions of yours come from?” He snatched your left arm, pulling it from its resting place and do the job himself. You give him a look, he smiles.
“I’ve been watching you.” His expression must’ve been something, enough for you to instantly stop on the sidewalk as you stammered and tries to pull your arm from him. “Not like that you deviant! I was just trying to get a read on you, since everyone kept talking about you being unattached and all.”
“Yes, yes, I know. What now, you want in on the chase? It’s ok dear, I know I’m utterly irresistible!” Refusing to let go of you, he only laugh on as you scowl. It’s well known to everyone that Alastor have been available for the longest time since anyone ever known him. It was also a well-kept mystery, the fact he have never courted a single person throughout his entire life.
“Utterly hogwash, that’s what you are.” Huffing to yourself, you finally would relent your arm to him. Your shared steps echoing across the darkening street, it’s near curfew. “I do have to say, I see what they meant, about you being a good spouse and all that,” He smiles a bit brighter at that, “But I just can’t see you being vulnerable with anyone else. You despises things not going your way, and love just have too much uncertainty!”
“Yes, yes,” he repeats, as if soothing you from a tantrum, “Weak and frail Alastor, the poor soot of New Orleans, unable to tear his ribcages open and show everyone his organs the same way his beloved whimsical friend here does every day ~.” You hiss as he settled his own weight against you with his head on your shoulder, nearly knocking the both onto the ground, “I guess you’ll just have to be with me for the rest of your life then! If you don’t, I’ll simply drown in my own piled up misery! What a life it’ll be!”
“Sure you will. Now get off and take me back home you dramatic coot.”
4. At that time, there was no need for Alastor to inquire your meaning of “vicious”.
In direct contrast to your trusting nature, you’re also perceptive and doubtful to a fault. The first slight of your tongue was a comment on how he can stop smiling around you. Always with that same gaze as you have now, lying underneath him. For the life of him, he couldn’t remember what he said to you that day. But it was enough for you to stood up and walked from the table with a ten-dollar bill pin under your half-finished lemon tea. The issue was quickly resolved with a phone call to your home, but he quickly learned that you don’t take kindly to – and quite frankly, refused to participate in – saccharine sweet insult.
But at what point did he stop hiding himself and let you read him freely, he thought. If he bit down on his tongue until he bleeds and shut you out like how he did to so many others who couldn’t even take one step near him, then maybe something could’ve turn out differently.
Replaying that moment over and over in his head, for the first time in his life, Alastor think about the concept of love, really think about it. It simply was an aspect of life that he never pay mind to, equating it with romance book and kissing under starry skies, and thus, utterly useless. When he think of love, all he have to go off of is his dear old mother, who sacrifices and suffers so much for him, which, in time, he pay her back with everything he have. His life was only about her and himself and the bodies under the forest floor and it was everything he wanted and more. Until one rainy day, with his eyes on the script he’s writing out for tomorrow’s broadcast, bleary-eyed and hearing the bed calling his name, he thought about you.
When he came to, he already dropped his coffee cup. The brown liquid burns, even through his slipper.
After that, Alastor would start picking out books from your carefully curated shelves, sitting in your armchair and skims through the lines while you spread across the ground like an old cat, he tried to find the feelings that you described to him in the same page you’d read a million times and over. But as he does so, he would soon find that there’s not a single word in any of those old and yellowed pages of yours that is able to captured the quickly spreading rot in his heart. In a frenzied, Alastor would burn through your small library faster than you could ever hope for.
(Alastor knows that time and time, again and again, as long as you’re willing to reach for his hand, he will never let go of yours.
at some point, he’d stop caring about whether you’re willing to at all. why would he, when the meaning of being able to love you became all he care to know at all.)
5.
“You don’t need to love like I do, you know that, right?”
He turns to you, on your stomach, lying in your nest of blankets and pillows with a pencil in hand putting down incomprehensible charcoal shape.
“Bragging now, are we?” he gets up from the armchair and settled down by your side, eyes watching your hand while propping the book he was reading in his lap. You crank your neck and stare at him with a look, “And how are you so sure I want to love like you, dear?”
“You’ve been plowing through my books.”
He sends you a beaming smile, acting innocent while playing with your hair.
“You offered.”
“Aren’t they all the one I told you about?”
Your eyes on the book he’s holding, then the one he just placed back into the shelves. It feels like he’s back in his mother’s kitchen, with his dirty nails behind his back and a poor excuse for the missing bread on the dinner table. Except this time, there’s just you and him in your small living room, and you’re looking awfully smug about it.
Raising his hand in the air, he sigh pitifully, “Ah~, guilty as charged, darling.” and offers nothing else. The silence afterward is enough of a white flag anyway.
Pleased with what you got from him, you turn back to your work, seemingly unaware (or even worse, maybe you don’t care at all) about the gnawing in his chest and the storm raging in his head while his hand weaves through your hair.
The last time you talked to him about love, you more-or-less called him and his love hazardous. While Alastor have no trouble with accepting it from anyone else, with you, it feels as if you’re discarding a part of him to the dogs. Although his knowledge on many topics far exceeds yours, when it came to pure and genuine emotions from the heart, you’d know enough to examine him under all type of love there is, and time after time you’d deemed him impossible to ever love. And despite knowing loving and love is wholly separate, it tears him open to even considers that you’d thought of him as unable to love and be loved and something about it is just so incredibly agonizing to the point of wanting to rip you open so you can see just how unlovable you are too.
But in your living room, sitting right next to you the way no one else is allowed to. He sigh, making sure his words doesn’t come off as unpleasant as he feels.
“If I don’t have to love like you, then how do you supposed I should be doing it?”
“I’m not sure, but hopefully not at all.” You said offhandedly, but you might as well just drove a knife through his stomach, but it’s you, so he let it be, “If you can’t help yourself though, you’ll probably do something really horrible.”
“What do you supposed I’ll do?”
You turn to him, a hint of surprise in your eyes at how close he is now, but you let him be, “Undecided. But you seems like the type to let it eats you alive.”
“I’ll let my love eats me?” Laughing in disbelief, he could almost call you cute with how you nodded to yourself, resolute in your idea about him.
“You’ll let it eats you, yes.”
Alastor chuckled to himself as he tap your sketchbook twice, you hand it to him.
“Well, I’ll need to make sure that I won’t be alone, aren’t I?”
You laugh openly and said that’s true, he’s too selfish to be taken alone. Alastor couldn’t care about how much of that was just more of your usual jest and how much of it is your view of who he is. If you, who love so selflessly and readily, agrees without push back, that someone as selfish as him will doomed whoever it is that he loves so much, then who is he to deny.
At that time, the line of charcoal you put onto the paper come together to show a shadow of a small man dragging a coat by his unseen feet, a mock-up from one of the stories that you loved. Alastor stop wondering if he ever could love something like the poems and stories you’ve read a million times over, instead, he think it’s best if he loves the way you expected him to, the way he can see himself doing.
6. To be loved is to be changed.
You told him this while he stand in your kitchen, trying to shoo you back to the table so he can work without fuzzing over you. And now, while he’s holding you, so cold and so unlike you, Alastor wondered whether you would like it if your bones were to be buried in the same spot as the others.
As much as he’d love to keep it near with him, there’s not a single excuse in the whole round earth that can ever help him convinced his mother of letting him uprooted the garden out back and buried you down there, neither can he bring you with him everywhere. Alastor wants to try taking you to the morgue after he’s done, but how do you explain bringing in a set of skeleton with missing ribs? It’s simple, really.
You don’t.
He lifted you up in his arms and sat back on his sofa, your lulling head settled just below his chin, wanted to savor what’s left of you for just a bit more before rigor mortis sets in and makes you even less of what you are now. The gramophone in the corner of his room spewed utter nonsense as Alastor closes his eyes.
It’s Tuesday tomorrow, but he will have to roll up his sleeves and get to work on cleaning out one of the guest room in his hunting lodge if he doesn’t want the ants to take you first. He’ll have to call in sick, too. Alastor likes to think that when he sees you again, you’ll at least have the will to appreciate the troubles he went through for you and not complaint about being locked up inside. You and the love you have for him, akin to small river, a gentle stream, with orange and yellow leaves floating across, tucked in a forest somewhere. It widdled down the rocks and carved a path for itself. The same one that you oh so heartlessly withheld from Alastor.
You'd appreciate being bury in such a scenery, it’s a shame you won’t be, though your body would’ve made way for the prettiest flowers. But you’ll have to take what he can afford to give. To be loved is to be changed, after all.
(when, not if. having gone on for this long, he’s sure that you’re suspended in between life and death in the hell you refuses to ever believe in. half of him prayed that there’s not a river there so you can drown yourself in it just to forget all about him. the other half prayed you’ll remember nothing at all, even of the literature you love so much.
at some point, where will you stop being yourself? when you forget enough of yourself? Alastor doesn’t need to care about the semantics. he knows he’ll choose you time and again, even if you forget how you love.)
7. You take your time reading through farewell letters.
Unless the cats and dogs on the street can write, then there’s only a few, you kept a significantly smaller number of friends by your side. But it must’ve been hard to even focus with Alastor sitting right next to you.
“Darling, surely we can-“
“Please don’t make this any harder than it already was, Alastor.”
Desperately holding onto your wrist and halted your pace for just a second, he all but plead a hopeless case.
“You’re not thinking straight! Are you really just going to up and leave because someone told you so? After living your whole life here?!”
Your hand, moving like clockwork, already finished with the letters, refusing to stay in his. You pulled back from him and place the rest of the letters in a small wooden box with a deer carved on its lid. “You know it’s not just that.”
In times like these, he wonders if it was himself who have gone mad. As if the whole world is in on one big joke and you are just following along with it. Any moment now, you’ll burst into laughter and tell him that everything is a lie. You’re not moving to Washington to help a friend you know for some years with their business, and you’re not leaving him, not after everything he showed you. But you’re holding onto the letter with his mother’s name written on the front with misty eyes as if you have no other choice. So he held you by the shoulders to the point digging his nails into it and turned you to look at him.
“Then what else is there?! For Christ sakes-“ you look as if this is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do in your life, he felt as if this is the hardest battle he have to fight, “Please, mon Chéri, talk to me...”
Alastor collapse onto you, his whole weight pins you down on your small couch. Head on your chest, he listens as your heart beats just a bit faster. You let him.
“…what do you think we are, Alastor?”
Without hesitation, he reply.
“We are whatever you want us to be. Whatever it takes for you to stay.”
For someone like you, a romantic at heart, just like who he is now, that should’ve been enough for you to at least considers the possibility of forgetting about what’s right and wrong. For sure, it would’ve been enough for you to stay, if you were anyone else.
But you’re you, and he’s only himself. The romantic in you see through his act for the longest time and still fall in love with him, but just like how your love is selfless and kind, it’s also viciously rational. If you were anyone else, you would’ve ignored the rational part of yours.
“I’m sorry, Alastor.” All this time, he was desperately proving himself to you. Doing everything in his power just so you’re willing to forget your rationale and love him just as much as he loves you. “We’ll die loving each other.”
He doesn’t care if he die, Alastor wants to scream out. He’s ready to die to love you, he have been screaming out all this time. But despite all of his effort, you deemed him a love not worth chasing after till death, while he already planned the path to hell with you.
Your fingers, shaky and gentle, brush through his hair. If it was anyone else, he wouldn’t have to place himself bare and vulnerable like this. But if you were anyone else, he wouldn’t have love you at all. And if it’s death holding you back from loving him, then so be it.
8. For a long time now, Alastor knows you more than anyone else.
You were never a dancer, not by choice either. Its pathetic in the cutest way, how you froze up and refused to move, the way you stutters and try to pull from him only ever makes him want to bully you more. But from the way your brows draws together, to the way you’d tripped over yourself chasing after his footstep, all of it, Alastor earned from you.
From the way you stayed up overnight, to how the bottom of your shoes dragged against the pavement as you walk. From the tip of your pencil, to the bottom of your bookshelves. Every books on your shelves and every sketches. Alastor swear with all his life that no one else knows better than him when it came to you.
He knows intimately the curves you’d penned on your signatures; he knows how you’d change your mind at a moment notice about anything, he knows how you take with you small things on the side of the road that you deemed pretty enough and he knows you still have a lot you want to do here that you’ve told your lovely friend. So it’s only normal for Alastor, the person you grown to love so much, to know exactly why you refuses to even considers being by his side, and it’s just his luck that he also knows just how to write a letter with words just like yours.
So when was it that you got a friend you trusted so wholeheartedly, so faithfully, so much so, you’re your dearly cherished Alastor became a second thought in your mind? Weren’t you a romantic? Weren’t romantics idiots who can’t think straight when it come to love? So why was it that you alone refuses to let yourself love him and remained so loyal to someone you only considered a friend, someone who couldn’t even tell your lettering from his? Was it them? Who fed you lies after lies to captured you in their own hands? Was it them who taught you the telling and sign of a madman? Is that why your view of him was so horrible, you' refused to ever fathom life with him?
He knows you would’ve hated him for this, but Alastor adores you, and sometimes you just don’t know what’s best for you, even when it’s staring at you from across the front walk and following you to your home.
So if someone as rational as you can be swayed back to his lodge for just one more visit, then your friend surely can be swayed too, to come and visit you some other time, down here in your beloved New Orleans.
9. If anyone ever ask anyone else, then they will say that Alastor, beloved local radio host of New Orleans, is a man of many things. But if they were to ask you, then he’s one of the person you cherished the most, and your dearest friend.
He’s everything, the charming popular radio host of New Orleans, the life of the party, a bachelor that’s second to none. Alastor plays himself as your friendly neighbor who will always greets you with a smile and a clenched fist behind his back, hiding a stain just on the cuff of his sleeve in the early morning, a caring friend that offers you help just in the nick of time. Alastor is his mother’s perfect son, who spent more time comforting her about your whereabouts than to care for his own fracturing mind; an amiable stranger, gripping the newspaper detailing yet another disappearance with a bit too much force. Everything you have ever wanted him to be, he was. And yet, to his utter bewilderment and maddening grief, you refused to let him be anyone other than a friend you talked to about everything.
In the letters you saved from your beloved pen pal-turn-missing person, they would call you mature and wise. Sentimental words and kind, to his eyes, all are but hollowed gestures advising, agreeing, and offering you a place up in Washington until you can forget all about him and move on with your life, leaving Alastor to be nothing more than a nostalgic blot on the tablecloth, nothing more than yearning in early Junes. Until you forget the fact you ever love him at all, all because you decided that you couldn’t afford to let yourself be love by him.
Keeping all of it in mind, Alastor decides your dear friend should be bury far away from the comfort of your room. Three years, seven months and eleven days after your death, Alastor dragged a body into the woods. Not just any old one like usual, but not anything else too special.
It’s odd, even though you’ve been gone for the more than a year by now, it’s almost as if you’ve neve left his side. Maybe it’s the rest of you, lying peacefully in your nest of pillows and blankets, in your room that he diligently maintain. Maybe it’s your shared books he sometimes takes from his shelves and skims through in the dead of night after a hard day. Maybe it’s the locked box, sitting by his work desk welcoming him home after a night out, the same one he held in his hands, void of blood and anything else.
Or maybe it’s the reverberating sounds of heartbeat, so unlike his own. In both his waking days, in his reveries, over the sounds of the jazz band down in his favorite speakeasy and following him into the woods. Ever so silently, oh-so gently, utterly viciously in his left ear.
In any other case, Alastor finds he absolutely adores the idea of your ghost haunting him until his fell into his grave.
(you said that he should never love because he couldn’t be in control. he mourn the fact you never even let him prove you wrong. Alastor would’ve let you dance on his rotting corpse if that’s what it takes for you to let him call you his.)
10.
Somewhere in his heart, Alastor had hoped that you of all people can evade the hand of rots.
It’s a genuine shame that in the end, all of the words in the world will do nothing to stop you from sharing the lot with the others, he thought, staring down from where he straddled you with his hand peeling off layers of skins and fat. Warm fingers brushes against your hollowed cheek, before raising a small hammer and bringing down onto your bare chest. Alastor wants to preserve you for as long as possible, but to do that properly, he might as well take all of your innards out and sewn you up. It’s not that he’s not open to that idea, Alastor love every part of you. It’s just that he’s sure you’ll be extremely upset when you find out. So he’ll have to get comfortable with doing things the hard way, no matter how hard it is to do so.
With steady fingers in spite of the drumming in his ears, Alastor patiently picks out every pieces of bones he could, placing them into a small, wooden box. With a wistful smile, he closes the lid and set it aside. He miss you already.
Pushing your lungs out of the way, he dig his hands in. With blood runs up to his wrist, Alastor tries to be as gentle as he can while pulling your heart out. One hand holding onto it, another carefully cutting away everything that ties it to your body.
Distinctly, every part of you was always warm, and over time, Alastor, who’s hands are as cold as winter itself, find comfort in your touch. It was almost like you were made just for him, and him, you. And now, with your heart, cold and silent in his hand, Alastor realized what a miserable life it will be to go on living without your warmth with him from now on until he’s six feet under. But it’s ok, he’s sure of it, because above all else, what he’s been chasing after this whole time is in his hand.
For a brief moment, Alastor wondered if he were to meet you in another lifetime, one where you aren’t so complicated and so in love with the idea of living a fair life and a right love, would you have let yourself be wrong and love him. But he’s glad that your love, with all its beautiful intricacies that causes him this much pain, with a wound in it, still look as beautiful as he hoped.
Sinking his teeth into it, into you, the taste of iron and metallic flooded his mouth and drown his senses as he closed his eyes shut and nearly buckled under the taste of you. There’s not a single word in the book to describe the visceral sensations running through his blood and spreading through his every veins. Alastor shivers, the back of his head felt numb, his fever grows as he desperately takes his time and savor you. It’s a shame you can’t last forever, but he’ll take what he can get for now.
(as his teeth tears into your veins, he hears a sounds, so familiar, somewhere in the corner of his ears. it wasn’t until he caught his own heart beating that he realized that the rhythm he’s hearing isn’t his at all.
until the day you two can meet again, until then. he pray he will never forget the sounds of your heart, beating so gently.)
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