But here’s the thing. You can pour your heart out. You can give everything you have got. But at the end of the day it’s only you.
18 notes
·
View notes
“i chose her because i couldn’t image we’d ever be friends” THAT’S THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE!!! SHE IS THE ONLY THING YOU WILL REMEMBER WHEN YOUR MEMORY IS ERASED!!! YOU WILL WILLINGLY FALL INTO THE PITS OF HELL FOR HER!!! YOU TWO ARE THE BLUEPRINT!!!
3K notes
·
View notes
keeping the "they'll think we're impertinent" / "i am impertinent" lines from the book???? iconic. incredible. reminded me i have never once known what impertinent means
2K notes
·
View notes
you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.
you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.
instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.
you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.
your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.
because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.
so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.
all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.
5K notes
·
View notes
Ever since you left
I felt the spark inside me
I felt it go out
I lost the life
Radiating from my eyes
I know it’s gone
I can feel it
I feel less me
No more life
No more glee
Words are none
Fake smiles
Anxious laughs
I feel it so deeply
But nothing comes out
I was once numb
Now I’m soulless
Our goodbyes were left unspoken
So if you’re peaking over my shoulder
I love you forever
The last day October
2 notes
·
View notes
percy immediately having the that's not how you treat people you care about reaction to annabeth telling him about her dad and athena.
family line playing in my head
714 notes
·
View notes
After watching episode three I am imagining the trio in several years, percabeth arguing over something mundane while they are supposed to be getting something done and Grover just absolutely done with it going, "you two better shut up and focus or I'm gonna start singing the consensus song again." And they just look at each other like "agree to disagree?" "Yup." And that's how Grover manages to keep his sanity.
594 notes
·
View notes
I imagined she was going to say, You killed a Minotaur! or Wow, you’re so awesome! or something like that.
Instead she said, "You drool when you sleep."
742 notes
·
View notes
tbh I headcanon percy to eventually land on an environmental science major in college after a lot of experimenting around and not because of his dad but because of *grover* and his belief in finding pan, because of knowing how much the mortal and mythical world have been hurting the earth itself, and because if there's one thing that could convince percy jackson to study, it's justice. plus I think he and annabeth would totally geek out over sustainability as restorative and regenerative design. this is your "build something that lasts" couple. your "ur system is broken fix it rn" couple. if the mythical world EVER left them alone they would 100% be pursuing justice at any other stop they found themselves in anyway
352 notes
·
View notes