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creepyjoker · 11 months
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The most dangerous place I can be is in my head
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pembebirkrizantem · 2 months
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Suskunluklar biriktiriyorum bugünlerde...
Kapı kapı büyüyen ve anlatamadıkça insanın omzunda tıpkı ağır taşlar misali biriken suskunluklar...
Bir cümleyle yüreğimden akıp gidecek kadar hafif konuşacak olsam okyanuslar bile yetmeyecek sanki derinliğine. Ben yine de suskunluğa talibim. İçimde kendimle öylesine doluyum kı buna bir de sonsuz bir yalnızlık eklenince hiçbir şeyin gitmesini istemiyorum. Tek bir kelimenin, tek bir düşüncenin hatta tek bir zerrenin bile firarını kaldıramayacak kadar takatsizim...
Yollar yabancı, taşlar soğuk ve insanlar yine bildiğimiz gibiyken ben yalnızca kendi kendime yetme telaşesindeyim.
Bugün karnım tok mu?
Ellerim üşümüyor mu?
Ve sevdiklerim yanımda mı?
İşte o zaman diyorum ki çok bir şeye gerek yokmuş aslında. Aşk beni bulmasa da varsın zenginlik kapımı çalmasa da ve ben dipsiz bir suskunluğa bürünsem de mutluyum.
Sonuçta insan yağmuru izleyebiliyor ve annesine hala gülümseyebiliyorsa ne gerek var derde tasaya değil mi?
Güneşin doğuşuna ve batışına şahit olan gözler aşkına, ay ışığının nuruyla yıkanan aşıklar hürmetine ve masum bir bebeğin ilk tebessümü niyetine, birgün umudum tükenecek olsa da ben mutlu ayrılacağım bu dünyadan.
Ruhumdaki suskunluklar ve sevdiklerimin suretiyle silinip gideceğim ama ben gitsem de mutluluğum hep baki kalacak.
Tıpkı en sevdiğin şarkıyı bağıra çağıra söylerken dudaklarında bıraktığı o tatlı his gibi. Belki şarkının başı ve sonu unutulacak ama nakaratının güzelliği üzerinden ne kadar zaman geçerse geçsin hafızamdan silinmeyecek.
Silinip gidecek onca şeye inat...
Selam ve Dua ile.
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somos-deseos · 8 months
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A partir de 1935, Albert Camus (1913-1960) llevó un irregular diario de trabajo en el que tenían cabida apuntes de muy diversa índole: Proyectos de novelas y piezas teatrales, reflexiones filosóficas y morales, notas de viajes y de lectura, descripciones de paisajes, citas literarias, conversaciones escuchadas en la calle, esbozos de diálogos dramáticos, esquemas argumentales, etc. El contenido de estos "Carnets" muestra la génesis de buena parte de la obra del Premio Nobel de Literatura de 1957 A través de fragmentos y desarrollos parciales y su estilo de trabajo, ilustra el clima intelectual, moral y político de la época y permite vislumbrar las claves más personales de su labor creadora.
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the-xolotl · 2 months
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Thundering Rain
Qí Yù | Rafayel x Reader
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𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: You and Rafayel cozy up during a cold storm to enjoy each other’s company when you realize he got up for something but didn’t come back to cuddle you.
—• TAGS: Domestic fluff, kinda ooc Rafayel (? if you squint), no use of Y/N, use of the pet name my love, beta read (imagine that)
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A thunderstorm had been raging outside for hours now and you are thankful, for once, about the harsh seasonal changes because not just did you enjoy the rain and the majestic flashing of light that occasionally lit up the otherwise dark gray sky, you didn’t have to go to work. You could enjoy a leisure day indoors, listening to the calming sound of the rain hitting the window and the deep thunder clapping after each rapid flash of light with a warm blanket and hot beverages.
It’s true you loved your job, loved the adrenaline of being a hunter, the thrill of battle, but it was nice to sit back and relax for a bit. And some reprieve was definitely due after these past few weeks, Linkon City had been seeing more and more Wanderers roaming inside the more civilian populated areas, your team along with some back ups had been dispatched as first responders almost every time; it’s been busy to say the least.
And Rafayel had definitely not appreciated your constant absence. You don’t blame him, you missed him too. Because your job wasn’t just turning monsters to dust and protecting innocent people; each attack meant a lot of paperwork, desk work, meetings. It meant time away from home and away from your already clingy, needy lover.
Who, speaking of, had suspiciously gotten up from cuddling you in the sofa and hadn’t come back.
The now cool spot behind you made you realize his absence. But as you were about to get up to look for the purple-head you heard his voice, “Stay where you are, how you are, for another 30 minutes…” Rafa trailed off.
He didn’t even ask politely yet you remained on your spot no questions asked and turned your head back to look outside the large, tall window that gave the perfect view to the backyard. “So that’s where you’ve been the whole time,” you chuckled softly, of course he was.
“Inspiration should never be wasted or ignored. The best master pieces ever created were in spontaneous bursts of creativity,” He stated as if it was the most honest to god truth. Yeah, alright.
Amused you simply retorted, “Is that a fact?”
“Most likely,” he shot back before taking a small pause, “Besides, you barely noticed after almost an entire hour I didn’t come back beside you.”
The last part sounded more begrudging, you didn’t have to look at him to know he’s pouting. You couldn’t help but giggle, “Yeah, my back was getting cold. That’s how I noticed you were still gone.” Rafa let out the most offended scoff, he didn’t even dignify with an answer.
The room falls silent again save for the rhythmic pattering of rain, it’s then you realize he’s actually concentrating and you can’t help the little leap your heart makes. “Are you painting me?”
“As I was coming back from the kitchen the scene and atmosphere looked perfect so I just had to capture it,” he explains, “I haven’t had the opportunity to play around with darker tones or paints in a while and I recently acquired some very high quality materials to produce stunning shades. Very rare finds, honestly.” The Lemurian continued on to explain how and where he’d manage to obtain them, of course pointedly mentioning that he needed something to do in your absence because it was just so so boring.
More than half an hour had past, that’s for sure, as you filled the time with more banter and teasing remarks.
“Rafa can I move now? I’m going to have neck pain and be stuck in this position forever if I don’t get up soon,” you whine loudly, “The painting won’t be needed to immortalize this moment then.” He only tsk’s at you, calling you over to see the painting.
“Holy shit you weren’t kidding, the pigments are so rich!” You know little to nothing about art, any scattered knowledge or artsy lingo has definitely come from listening to your boyfriend talk about art. You study the painting detail by detail, from top to bottom. He really does deserve the fame, not that you’re biased.
Rafayel smiles big like a satisfied cat (ironically) at your praise and expression of awe.
Though the more you steady the painting the more you realize the gloomy tempest going out outside was definitely not the focus of this piece like you had originally thought, despite the fact that the oversized window gave the perfect opportunity to capture it so.
Instead you realize most of the spotlight was you. Rafayel had clearly taken his time; each curve of your features was perfectly drawn and shaded, the way the light made light and dark contrasts against the little skin that was not covered by the quilt, the shine in your eyes that reflected the lighting that occasionally flashed and the hair that framed your face. The content of your expression clearly denoting how engrossed you’ve been on the weather outside, he even included the faintest curl of the corner of your lip. And you looked cozy as hell with the blanket all the way tucked up to your chest and your hands wrapped around the (then) steaming mug of coffee.
A heat crept up your cheeks and chest. Is this how he saw you? Is this what his eyes see when he looks at you? Truly? You must’ve had your thoughts written in your face because he breaks the long silence with in a soft voice, “You are the inspiration of the painting, my love,” circling back to one of his earlier comments. You turn to face him fully, meeting eyes as he was already looking at you, as soft smile that matched the softness of his voice spread across his lips.
“It’s going to be part of the next exhibit, on a very special spot.”
“I’m sorry what?” You lamely ask, astonished but still in a monotone.
Rafayel had the audacity to laugh in your face as he gave the cavas a few strokes with the brush to accentuate some shadows. “It’s not finished yet, of course. I will accept no less than perfection,” he says slowly, words as methodical as his painting technique, “Specially when it comes to you.”
If you weren’t blushing before you sure are now. You shove him gently when he takes the brush off the painting, attempting and failing to hide how much he managed to fluster you.
Another long pause passed, but this felt more intimate, watching him closely add some details, switch between different size brushes for finer details. Rafayel sure went into his own bubble when he worked, yet he is always somehow very aware of his surroundings. At least at the moment he was.
“Not a lot of people get the privilege to watch me like this, so up close, let alone live. Are you feeling how privileged you are?” The tone of playful arrogance brings you back and pops the bubble of comfortable silence. But it does make you giggle.
These little moments make you fall deeper in love with him.
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⟢ A/N: feels kinda funny posting my writing for the first time in the internet tbh. i usually only write for my friends/myself so i hope you enjoy my lil rot. it’s been raining so much in my area it gives me a very cozy vibe.
© 2024 the-xolotl — all rights reserved. do NOT alter, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.
⤷ dividers : cafekitsune ✰
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sa-sa-blogger · 5 months
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Nếu thực sự bạn không đủ củi để nấu sôi một ấm nước đầy, thì hãy bỏ bớt nước đi, và đừng cố gắng chạy đi kiếm củi nữa. Cũng như cuộc sống đôi khi quá mệt mỏi không đủ nghị lực để tiếp tục, thì bớt lại sự tham cầu ước vọng, bạn sẽ thấy tâm mình nhẹ nhõm hơn.
Thật ra, không phải lúc nào cố gắng cũng là tốt. Với những thứ phù hợp, cố gắng sẽ đem lại giá trị. Nhưng với những thứ không phù hợp, càng cố chấp thì càng đau lòng. Đôi khi phải chấp nhận rằng mình sai, mình thua, để giải thoát chính mình.
Đường đời vạn nẻo ngàn lối, nếu lối hiện tại không tốt không hạnh phúc, đừng do dự nữa, đã đến lúc phải thay đổi tất cả rồi... ✌️
📸 unknow
Retouch: Sa
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ignorvnte · 3 days
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El fino arte de aprender a reconstruirse en silencio.
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kiestrokes · 4 months
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07-induraj · 5 months
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I'm not gonna waste another beautiful flower,
On asking, if you love me or not,
'cause if you did you'd be here,
Not wandering around somewhere.
Written by 07-induraj
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mapsofinnerspace · 9 months
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Why? Because let’s be honest, there’s no ethical way to becoming a billionaire.
It’s not like people’s being cynical or jealous about their billions. No. It has nothing to do with that. The truth is that more often than not, those shitloads of money came from the worst and most evil sources one could ever imagine.
Billionaires are basically the ones behind all the worldwide networks of traffic and dark shit, one way or another. They’re the ones behind disparities and poverty, unemployment, poor life quality, hunger and sickness. They’re the ones behind wars and shitty economy models, deforestation, animal cruelty and extinction, global warming.. they’re the ones behind innocent beings’ deaths.
And still, they’ve got the fucking nerve to casually spend 250,000 USD on a totally unnecessary, touristic trip to a mass grave (courtesy of their already wealthy, evil ancestors, of course) at the bottom of the ocean.
Anyone who ever dares to spend such amount of money for a few hours long trip, knowing that the world is going down, is not a honest nor a valuable human being. Period.
So yes, the less people like them, the better. The earth does need to heal. And no, I cannot stand those who still defend the planet’s greatest poison. They evidently don’t have a single ounce of self reflection.
.
.
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dcextremefan · 27 days
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The Writer - Gotham Knights Jason Todd x reader - Part 2
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Warning: same as the part 1, by the way, read the last chapter and also use of remedies (do not repeat the same actions as the protagonist, go to see a specialist/doctor when you start to feel bad phisically or emotionally)
After the Red Hood saved you and you posted about it on your blog, you got tons of likes from thousand of people who lives in Gotham. You were laying in your bed moving your legs excitedly and then you received an email. An anonymous email.
Your smile faded and then you send a copy of an archive to this email and closed it, you started to feel your heartbeat go faster and a little bit of dizziness.
"God... for how long will I still do it?" you asked to yourself "what would father do?"
You get up of your bed and goes to the bathroom and looked at your reflection at the mirror, you opened the high balcony and you took a pill. A tear fell of your eye, but you quickly wiped it off with your hand. You grab your notebook and placed on your desk and you finally sleep.
Something you did not notice it's a vigilante who is watching you from afar. Red Hood watches you fall asleep and he enters through you apartment's window and starts inspecting everything.
"Belfry, I've entered into (Y/N)'s apartment" Red Hood informed quietly to not wake you up
"okay... that's kinda weird, I hope we'll never do it again. I don't want us to get reputation as a stalker" Tim has said
"Tim, don't worry. We are just investigating. And Jason, try to find at least some clues about (Y/N)'s life" Barbara demanded
"don't you think that's invasion of privacy?" Dick asked
"what Jason has said to us earlier got my attention. Why would some random thugs assault a normal civilian writter?" Barbara answered
"not just any writter. A very famous writter, maybe they were just after her money, after all she sells books" Tim suggested
"anyway, what did you find, Jason?" Dick asked
"nothing special, she loves drinking a lot of tea and... hmm" Jason stopped "she uses remedies to control anxiety"
"have you checked in her computer?" Barbara asked
Jason went to see in your computer, but it needs password, he buffed
"belfry, her computer needs password" Jason informed
"the one who can discover passwords so easily is Babs" Dick informed
"unfortunately I cannot discover the password right now, but I had an idea. Tim, you with me?" Barbara asked
"you know it" Tim answered
Jason started to search more about you in your apartment and he finds a portrait of you inside of your locker, it's you in a graduation uniform with a woman who is older than you.
"I found a portrait of (Y/n) with a woman who might be her mother. Not only that, she is wearing the graduation uniform and it says 'Chemistry College'" Jason has informed
"wait what? No no no, she always put on her bio that she is graduated at Literature, how can she lie about something like that?" Tim asked surprised
"we'll find out" Jason said
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TO BE CONTINUED...
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pembebirkrizantem · 2 months
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Ruhumun boynuna geçen yağlı urgandan sesleniyorum insanlığa:
'Hayat öyle kısa ki gün gelecek her biriniz neden daha fazla gülmedim diye üzüleceksiniz en çok.'
-PembeBirKrizantem
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creepyjoker · 5 months
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What were my parents thinking? Shouting at me when I am an adult?
Do they think I don't care about me?
And if I really Don't,
what makes them think that screaming at me will enlighten me?
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the-xolotl · 3 days
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Darling, Can I Be Your Favorite?
Alastor x gn!Reader
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ღ Itty bitty drabble !
ღ A/N: my fyp was a lot of that one audio “i can be whatever you want me to be” and i felt it really had Alastor vibe.
summary: anyone would find it odd how keen you are on the Radio Demon given his reputation but he’s more intriguing than scary. when admiration turns to infatuation, and your ego gets a little too big makes you make the wrong move.
—• WARNINGS: none? technically, no use of y/n, gn reader, no physical desc of reader, romanticization of unhealthy dynamics, unhealthy infatuation, everything is a red flag 🚩, proof read :D
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You and Alastor can’t be categorized as friends, not really. Alastor already rarely uses the word to describe, well, anyone besides Miss Rosie as far as you knew. But he did enjoy your company from time to time, you were the most tolerable out of the bunch with the ability to actually make good conversation with the Overlord.
For once Alastor appreciated a reverent admiration rather than straight up fear from an individual. Because you not seeing him in such negative connotations had led to some actually very engaging conversations between the two of you; often about his little hobby of serial killings between his radio shows back when he still roamed the earth. You had shown intelligence, common sense and dignity before him so he deemed you acceptable.
However things began to go a little askew when he started to noticed that admiration had formed into something different. The demon isn’t that oblivious, his aversion to such frivolous things didn’t mean he didn’t know how to spot them or pick them up, especially when they were directed at him.
Even with such vague gentle treatment, it made you feel special that he gave you a different treatment than most. It felt good to be on his good side, that you simply effortlessly got along with him in loose terms, truthfully. Shared interests and his frequent visits to your or his quarters for a late cup of tea or coffee only made your infatuation grow, bordering on obsession. You sought him out more and more.
It started subtly, even you hadn’t noticed. If someone was to ask you to trace back to when you had started to see him differently, started desiring and craving a different kind of closeness to the Radio Demon, you honest to Satan couldn’t say when. It just happened. After the increased amount of time spent talking sometimes late into the night sharing a drink you realized he isn’t as unpleasant as many others think.
That had been the first sign things had begun steadily going downhill. The second one was getting comfortable. Being on the sinner’s good graces came with perks; which were mostly him being more cordial to you than others and small favors. Something akin to friendship. That’s what you told yourself, and pride does come before the fall.
You let the gentlemanly treatment get to your head, reading into signs that weren’t really there, etc. It was beginning to be troubling for Alastor it saddens him to lose another little bit of fun he got while at the hotel. He avoided you after a while seeing him less and less. Disappeared every time you came around almost every time.
Admittedly it was hurtful, made you upset enough to confront him about it. Which brought you exactly where you are now; in his quarters demanding answers he didn’t owe you nor that he wants to entertain. You are basically begging for his attention at this point. A pitiful display if he’s ever seen one. Seeing you so desperate for a silver of his time or affection, affection you’d never obtain no matter how hard you tried either way. He hasn’t been interested in relationships even when he was alive, that certainly didn’t changed after death.
This was going nowhere, but you refused to give up, “I can be whatever you want,” your hands fidgeted at your sides, “Just tell me what you want and I’ll be that for you.” Your voice trembled a bit, you knew you’re hitting a dead end, probably also treading a fine line on his patience with you.
Alastor stalked towards you in his typical cool-calm fashion and snatching your face. His hand enveloping your jaw, squishing your cheeks with clawed fingers, “You foolish little creature,” he said, voice full of condescension.
Your gaze locking with his, with so much helpless hope behind it, “I could be that.” It came out more as a plea than an affirmation, you tried to smile up at him but his nails digging into your cheeks make it hard and a little painful.
“You have nothing I want, my dear,” He said feigning sympathy, “I don’t take low hanging fruit. It brings me no joy, no entertainment to be had from such an easy grab.” He lets go of your face and walks right past you towards the door, opening it. “You may leave now. This conversation is over.”
Despite giving you his polite smile, it didn’t quite reach his eyes like other times you’d been around him. Your hands balled into fists. In other words he was calling you easy. That stung more than a bit. “I could give you my soul. You’re into deal making, aren’t you? Let’s make one.” Brave wasn’t a word he’d use to describe you at this moment, more like reckless. Something he disliked even more.
He simply laughed to your face. Laughed with his whole chest, the laugh you’ve heard from him after talking about how pitifully his victims had fallen for his traps and deceptions. Full of ridicule, glee. “Your soul? Oh dear you sure know how to make me laugh,” he said wiping a nonexistent tear from his eye, “No, no. I don’t have a need for neither you, your services nor your soul. I get absolutely nothing from it!”
There’s a tightening in your chest and a stinging feeling around your eyes as you let your gaze fall to the ground. Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, blooming on your face a bright red. Ouch. You couldn’t help the anger that began to rise, but you couldn’t even speak. What do you say after that kind of humiliation?
You had idealized a relationship that didn’t exist in your own mind and got humbled with 0 hesitation. “I’d suggest you retired to your own quarters and get some rest, darling. You’re not acting like your usually delightful self,” he said with a big grin, still being sarcastic. Silently you walk out barely murmuring a simple good night. “Good night, sweetheart.”
As soon as you stepped out he shut the door without another word. Leaving you to walk back through the dimly lit hallways back to your own room with silent tears rolling down your cheeks.
You weren’t about to give up just yet, though.
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ღ A/N: thanks for reading ! this lil scenario had been playing around my head for a few days and i just needed to get it out there. hope it was still an enjoyable read :))))
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© 2024 the-xolotl — all rights reserved. do NOT alter, translate, or repost my works on any platform without my consent, do not claim my content as yours.
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⤷ dividers : cafekitsune ✰
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sa-sa-blogger · 4 months
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Vạn vật thay đổi, con người cũng vậy. Ngày hôm qua còn nói yêu thương, bảo vệ ta đó ngày hôm sau đã không còn thấy bóng hình.
Cách nhanh nhất để cảm thấy hạnh phúc không phải là có nhiều hơn, mà là bớt đi. Giảm bớt kì vọng và ham muốn.
📸 no name
Retouch: Sa
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I feel so awful my lams fanfic got removed from Wattpad and I'm so angry
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This is so unfair!!!!
I gave them an appeal but other than that I feel totally defeated this book means absolutely everything to me and it might be gone for good my heart is so broken and feel like no matter what I do in this it's gone I've worked four years on this and I can't so I can't get my story back I think I'm done.
So I guess with an extremely heavy heart
Goodbye Scared of Him
You were my whole world you made me feel like I had a purpose and now you're gone I don't even know what to say.
I really hope I can get you back, I really, really hope so.
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ignorvnte · 18 days
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lo único que vale la pena es el amor
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