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horrorartsworld · 3 months

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P☆RN STAR

valentino/shy bunny based demon f!reader

warnings: 18+ nsfw content duh

Valentino takes a long drag of his cigarette as he sits next to Vox in his booming night club, “Club Hell 666”, speaking about the recent activities and work related stuff that’s been going on between the two of them.

So involved in the conversation the moth man didn’t realize the tiny figure that walked up to him.

“U-ummm…excuse me Mr. Valentino sir…” Your soft voice could barley be heard over the obnoxiously loud music that was playing that you could practically feel the bass thumping along with the rhythm of your heartbeat.

You rub your arm awkwardly standing there for a moment before Vox nudges Val in the side nodding over to you.

He blows out his red smoke letting it swirl around you causing you to cough a little and scrunch your nose.

“My…my~” He tilts his head with an amused smirk as he eyes you up and down letting his heart-shaped sunglasses slide down for you to get a better view of his piercing eyes.

“What brings you to me, cariño?~”

You hug yourself closely trying to not let your eyes wander to the dancers or workers dressed in skimpy clothing walking past, you were quite nervous as it is to talk to the Overlord of Lust for a job…

“I-i’m here for work…”

“Work hmmm? Well you came to the right person, sweetheart. A pretty thing like you~…” He dramatically pauses for a second taking in your figure once more before continuing, “oh~ I definitely have a few positions open…”

You shift uneasily as you weren’t use to all this attention making your cheeks automatically burn which didn’t go unnoticed by him.

Snickering, he leans over to mumble something to Vox who sent you over a wink before Val turned his attention back to you.

“Come, let’s have a little interview shall we~”

Valentino stands up towering over you as he wraps an arm around your shoulder and another around your waist as he takes you towards his office in the night club.

Shutting the door behind you he gestures you to take a seat infront of him as leans back in his chair lighting back up his cigarette from earlier and taking a nice drag before sitting forward, looking down at this little….bunny.

“Now that I got you here doll I gotta ask you some questions to see if your worthy of my establishment..”

He smiles wickedly as you nod gingerly understanding of his terms.

“Are ya loyal? And i mean realllllllly loyal…”

“Y-yes i’m very loyal…” You spoke again softly knowing at this point you were so desperate for a job you were willing to just please him with the right answers.

“Good to know~”

He pauses for a moment, considering his next question.

“Now….you don’t mind getting a little filthy, do ya?”

“Oh no….i mean i can um be filthy…” You mumble the last part coughing a little as the smoke lingered your way once more as you feel your cheeks burn at the idea of the question.

Valentino lets out a pleased purr at your answer and seeing your shyness just turned him on.

“Mmmm….I think i’m gonna love you, bunny.” His voice husky as he rested his elbows on his desk with his cigarette between his fingers and his cheeks in his hands looking at you with a lustfully taunting gaze that makes you squirm in your seat.

“How do you feel about people touching you?~”

“I surely enjoy it…”

Valentino snickers at this as he glances over at the calendar admist pictures of all his successful movies. “Oh do you now?…” His expression still amused, but his voice had an underlying hint of danger growing to it as he went on to ask you more questions practically pulling any indecent thought out of you and putting it to fruition.

“This interview is definitely going great….now let me see the goods baby~”

You look at him innocently now as if playing dumb as you ask, “t-the goods sir?~”.

“The goods…” He gives you a nod insinuating for you to stand up. In which you quickly did practically shooting up out of the chair.

He chuckles at this and then he glances down and sees the way your outfit accentuated your body so perfectly that he just had to see the back. Not hiding his anticipation as he makes a swift gesture for you to turn around. You nibble your bottom lip hugging your fluffy chest as you turn around showing a little cotton tail poking out from your leggings catching Valentino by surprise as it was wiggling vigorously.

He slowly rises from his desk shrugging of his coat and putting out the cigarette, never once taking his eyes off your behind. He takes a deep breath in appreciation as he then gives a small whistle.

“Damn…you’ve got quite the looks from this angle baby~” He then pauses once more to savor the view before he walks closer to you.

“So far i’m liking everything i’m seeing…” He stands right behind you and places his hands on your shoulders, slowly giving them a playful squeeze before he leans down, so close that his breath grazes the back of your neck.

“l think you’re gonna be the perfect little bunny toy~” His voice low and teasing. Your breath hitching as your behind gently rubs against his hard-on the heat radiating between your thighs started to get to your little rabbit mind.

Valentino smirks, now feeling how hot your body has gotten. Your body temperature steadily rising.

“But… first we’ve got to take a look at one last thing..”

One of his hands goes to your lower back forcefully bending you over infront of him on his desk, your heart jumps as you realize what’s happening but you obediently stay bent forward and arching your ass out of instinct so that it was on full display seeing the outline of your thong through your leggings.

Valentino’s breath is heavy as he stares at you bent over and so vulnerable infront of him. He strokes your rabbit tail with the tips of his fingers, caressing it making you whimper out to how sensitive it was to his touch. Making you embarrassingly wet within seconds.

Almost like he sensed this he swiftly tugged both your thong and your leggings off wasting no time as the cool air hitting your now exposed pussy made you whine.

“Shit your perfect for this industry baby~” He hums as his body weight seems to shift behind you as it sounded like he was grabbing for something..

Valentino held a cam recorder in one hand, as the others clung to your hips rather tightly as he roughly started pounding into you. Cock bullying your pussy with its big size as he barely gave you time to adjust making you cry out pitifully.

“Fuckkkk….you’re so tight.” He groans aiming the camera down at your entrance showing how much he was stretching you out as he used another hand to grab a handful of your plush behind to help guide himself in.

“Look it how well you’re taking it baby bunnni~ like a true fucking slut….mhmph fuck i’m gonna make you a star!~” Val growls behind you as his pace starts to pick up and becomes more aggressive.

Suddenly you feel him yank your head back by your bunny ears, causing a squeak to pass by your lips because of the sensation it admitted making you arch your back more into him, hitting a certain spot you didn’t know he could that made you immediately see stars.

Pointing the camera down toward your face, Val shows your already fucked out expression with your eyes all hazy with tears spilling down your cheeks and a filthy pout playing at your lips. You felt like your fragile body could barley take anymore of this torment and as if to make matters worse a hand went to play with your sensitive tail again making you clamp down on him with your thighs trembling.

“Ngh!! Valentino!”

The camera practically is shoved in your face as if to get the winning glamour shot as you come undone all over his cock. Though he doesn’t stop there as he tries to reach his own release, thrusting deeper and faster into you until he eventually cums too with an exasperated sigh.

The mixture of your juices practically pours out of you as Val pulls out and is more focused on the film that he just made, taking the hard drive out of the camera and shoving it in his coat pocket.

“You’re a natural…expect to be here by tomorrow morning and don’t be late..”

Valentino leaves you to clean your own mess without another word and didn’t even bother to mention what he’d do with that tape now that he had it. You just watched as your now boss put his coat back on and went into the atmosphere of the club once more.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin valentino #hazbin valentino x reader #valentino x reader #imagines #hazbin valentino smut #smut #valentino smut #valentino #hazbin hotel smut #bunny reader #bunny girl #☆⋆｡𖦹 my writings #☆⋆｡𖦹 valentino

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blakbonnet · 8 months

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you don't understand stede is just out there full of hope he wants to make amends but more than that he wants to sweep Ed off his feet and prove to him that HE IS WORTHY OF HIM. Like stede is going full "I don't deserve to kiss the ground you walk on" mode and Ed OHGOD my Ed he is pining so hard he thinks he's forgettable and he's been left behind and he's marking days off his calendar and he's wearing the billions guns he's trying to be what they want him to be but in the end he is just a guy... he just wants to be that guy who kissed the love of his life so sweet so gentle and promised a future to him

#I need to be put down #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd s2 teaser #this post doesn't make sense I'm sorry

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luvring · 1 year

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AFTER BECOMING YOUR BOYFRIEND

gn!reader | bokuto, akaashi, atsumu, osamu, iwaizumi, matsukawa, kageyama, yamaguchi, sakusa

BOKUTO can't stop grinning and kissing you. his hands are stuck either cupping your face or holding your hips. he plants quick pecks to your lips and feels his heart rate pick up at your laugh. "i'm really your boyfriend," he repeats, convincing himself he isn't dreaming.

AKAASHI's entire body relaxes as he says "thank god." he leans forward to rest his head against your shoulder and huffs a laugh at himself. you bring your hand up to run your fingers through his hair. “did you think i’d say no?” “i was scared you would,” he murmurs. “and i don’t think i could bring myself to try returning the gifts.”

ATSUMU excitedly changes your contact where he already put a heart next to your name to be your new title: "MY PARNTNR/BOYFIRND/GIRLFJEND" (awful spelling included and vital). he adds emojis like 😁🫂💯🔥 before taking a screenshot to send to his group chat. he won't talk about how he almost sent it to you and nearly had a heart attack.

OSAMU texts to ask “when did you know you liked me?” later that night. he bites his lip and his eyes shoot lasers into the dots that show you’re typing. an embarrassed smile appears on his face when you say “when u apologized over and over after almost hitting me with a ball the first time we met :) u were cute” because it really was a cringe-worthy introduction, but at least you both liked each other since the beginning.

IWAIZUMI can’t stop thinking of getting you a gift. thinking of giving you a gift every once in a while wasn’t unusual, but he tries really hard to get a hold of himself when he realizes he's scanning every store he walks past for something you might like. he fails, obviously, when you end up getting a gift every time you meet up for the next few weeks.

MATSUKAWA blurts out "seriously?" after you say yes. he tries to ignore how his face heats up when you tilt your head and laugh. you’re still laughing when he pulls you into him as if to hug you, only to start tickling you. he jokingly threatens, “don’t laugh at me, i’m your boyfriend,” when you yelp and hit his side.

KAGEYAMA can’t stop replaying the moment you guys officially start dating in his head, even and especially while practicing. he’s setting the ball when he thinks about how you smiled and suddenly forgets what he's doing. his face is red from being flustered and the volleyball smacking him on the forehead.

YAMAGUCHI, when he has the time, marks down the date in his calendar. butterflies flutter in his stomach as he types out "WE’RE DATING !!!!!! :)) " in the notes. it's been less than a day and he's already (over)thinking of what to do to celebrate the closest, reasonable anniversary, whenever that is. in a month, probably, he thinks.

SAKUSA’s glad he has a privacy screen protector because if anyone noticed how often he opened your chat to reread your texts he’d never live it down. there’s a small smile under his mask at your silly flirting memes, and just the thought of how your “take care of yourself!” messages are with him as your boyfriend in mind.

@devilgirlcrybabiey @lordbugs @smiithys @xfangirl-trashx @passionateuchiha @scaramouchesfootstool @fifteenshadesofpinkk @lotus-sukimono @chloee0x0 @kenmaslov3r @bakugosgrenade @semifilms @sakusasdirtyragdoll @dai-tsukki-desu @Thathoneybee3 @momoewn @aintgeluh @dazaisfavgf @simpforerenn @crystal-lilac @vhenis @omiigad @kur0-kawa @semispilledcoffee @ksyhmm @idontlikeyourjob @sparrowb3nscloset @awkwardaardvarkforever @rory-cakes @prblmtic @dimslover @kuroaka @vampyrkookie @sunaslay @h0n3ysgh0st @lackey-laufeyson @bontensbabygirl @dira333 @spooky1magazine1bread @Kamukayakmonyet @danyisapingu @isentsworld @lilithlunas @anime-ships-gay @todorokiskitten @kellesvt @scill-a @tooruchiiscribs @curiouslilbeast @fiona782 @cvhenia

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #akaashi x reader #atsumu x reader #osamu x reader #iwaizumi x reader #matsukawa x reader #kageyama x reader #yamaguchi x reader #sakusa x reader

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femmefatalevibe · 7 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Gain & Maintain Respect

In your professional and academic life, romantic or sexual enthrallments, social life, or any relationship – most importantly, the one with yourself.

Decide your needs are valid and feel worthy of having these needs met.

Reflect and refine your most authentic core values in every area of your life and then be deliberate in aligning your actions with these values as much as possible.

Be honest about your non-negotiables in every aspect of your life. Establish boundaries with these needs in mind. Then learn to communicate them calmly and assertively to others. Uphold your boundaries when they're tested or challenged.

Approach any conflict, negotiation, or difficult conversation as an opportunity to help both parties understand each other and come away from the interaction with a mutually desirable outcome. Operate out from a place of seeking mutual benefit, not a win-lose mindset.

Depersonalize other people's actions and attitudes. Communicate from a place of empathy and your personal value-add rather than responding to protect your ego.

Be discerning with who and what you let into your life (friends, romantic relationships, professional opportunities, social ties, family members, etc.). See how your value system and ways of communicating/interacting align before diving head-first into an interpersonal commitment. Vet individuals carefully to confirm they'll enrich – not deplete – your overall quality of life.

Take accountability when warranted but don't overapologize. Focus on being solution-oriented, not problem-centric, when dealing with a negative outcome, consequence, or conflict.

When in a disagreement with a healthy-minded individual, encourage an open dialogue and hear their side without judgment before making any type of accusations. With that said, always prepare and know when to walk away from a person, relationship, opportunity, event, etc.

Maintain your health, well-being, and appearance. Prioritize a healthy diet, drinking plenty of water, daily movement/exercise, a full night's rest, mindfulness practices/therapy, a solid skincare routine, hair/beauty maintenance, clean and neat clothes that suit your personal style, etc.

Make time for activities and people you love. Schedule times for hobbies, indulgent rituals, social plans, etc. into your weekly calendar to ensure you're enjoying life as much as you realistically can. Owning your right to enjoy life is the ultimate sign of self-respect.

#self improvement #self respect #self love #self care #personal development #glow up #glow up era #higher self #personal growth #self esteem #self confidence #boundaries #personal responsibility #personal branding #life design #life lessons #femmefatalevibe

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blkkizzat · 3 months

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WFH!Nanami

Work From Home Nanami = best house husband

a/n: lol this is nanami brainrot while I wait for my Toji fic to get beta'd so I know how dog it is. ETA: FYI, this is a semi-repost of a self-ship collab with a now deactivated account. I repurposed my selfship part to reader and expanded to WFH. cw: smut (pussy pounding, gagging on CAWK) fluff, nanami being the perf husband and male specimen per usual wc: 1.6k

WFH!Nanami doesn’t have to worry about waking up early to go into the office but he still rises with the sun to get his day started and do his favorite thing, which is to spoil you. Waking you up with gentle kisses, placing a hot espresso by the bedside and being your personal snooze button when you tell him 5 more minutes (he is so punctual it will be 5 mins on the dot).

You will still likely end up strolling into the office late regardless though because knowing you, you can’t start your day until you’re squirting all over daddy. But this is Nanami, he is nothing if not efficient so your early morning romp is definitely in the shower where he can clean you up after in order to get you out of the door sooner, your breakfast is already packed to-go.

WFH!Nanami love language is acts of service. You never stress about what to do for lunch either because there’s always a Michelin star worthy bento waiting for you next to your keys before you leave for the day.

In fact, what Nanami doesn’t know is that his bento is famous not only around your office, as your envious coworkers gather round to see what your perfect husband has prepared for you today, but also on TikTok. The ‘KentosBentos’ TikTok account you made has over 350K followers who not only watch for the mouth watering yet nutritious bentos but to also hear you gush over the cute little notes your hubby leaves for you.

Your top video has over 2.5 million likes and thousands of swooning women in the comments when WFH!Nanami made you an extra special lobster bento for your birthday and left you the note: ‘In all the world there is no love for me if I don’t have yours. Happy Birthday to my lovely wife, whose smile shines bigger and all the more brighter than the sun, moon and stars.’

Continuing with acts of service WFH!Nanami always has an equally delicious dinner ready for you when you get home. On days you work overtime and arrive home late, there's always a warm bubble bath waiting for you first. You love to rest with your back laid against Nanami’s utterly ripped torso in the tub while his thick arms envelope you. Relaxing into the safety of WFH!Nanami’s hold, your doting hubby kisses your temple and gives your keyboard fatigued hands a delicate massage. Nanami is nothing but a patient yet active listener while you recount your stressful day at work.

On days when you both get the opportunity to work from home you email WFH!Nanami a meeting invite to block off his calendar for 30 min during lunch. The invite is always titled ‘Ken and Barbie’s Lunch Meeting’. The location? ‘Pound Town’ The time? Noon, sharp!

Of course WFH!Nanami never actually schedules it on his work calendar lest his boss sees the meeting. (Gojo would never let him hear the end of it). As a result, since he never actually has the time officially blocked off, on some rare occasions he does actually get booked for a real lunch meeting at Noon that he cannot reschedule.

Meeting or no meeting though you are determined to keep your lunchtime dick appointment with WFH!Nanami. A noon dicking is a noon dicking and it’s a non-negotiable for you as you don’t often get to stay home from work!

WFH!Nanami is focused and poised during his camera-on meetings with his team. Therefore he doesn’t hear you open his office door. Nor does he see you as you drop to the floor with feline grace, hips swaying seductively as you crawl right under his desk. In fact, Nanami does not notice you at all until your soft hands grip his thick powerful thighs and you’re sliding your body up between his legs. Never faltering on-camera, WFH!Nanami’s stiffened jaw and tensed shoulders are the only tell-signs of you palming his rapidly hardening cock under the desk.

WFH!Nanami who tests the absolute limits of the stress ball he keeps handy (usually for tough negotiations) when he feels you press your hot mouth on the fabric covering his dick. You know your stoic husband won't ever outwardly falter when on the clock but you know inside he is a mess. That much is clear to you by the girth bulge straining against his tan fitted slacks.

WFH!Nanami who knows you are upset about him working through your ‘lunch meeting’, but wishes you wouldn’t torture him like this while he’s on the clock. He can tell you are enjoying yourself though as your sinful little tongue drags tiny kitten licks over the hard bulge in his pants. Soon though you are pawing at his zipper and pulling his girthy cock free through the hole, not even bothering to undo his belt. Taking him fully into your mouth, WFH!Nanami bites his inner cheek, when his boss Gojo makes a comment on how he looks more tense than usual when he should be thrilled after closing the biggest deal of the year.

WFH!Nanami who takes a long moment to deeply clear his throat before he calmly relays to Gojo that he is very pleased with the win but already thinking of the next big acquisition for their company. Yet Nanami’s voice hitches ever so slightly when your pink stiletto nails dig into his muscular thighs. It fools the rest of the team but Gojo merely raises a brow before cheerily moving on to the next subject.

WFH!Nanami spares a look downward at you once the work conversation has shifted to see you gazing up at his mouth full of his cock. You wear an angelic look as if he can’t tell the hand that left his thigh and is now slotted between your own isn’t furiously rubbing at your clit. He knows you are pleased at finally drawing a reaction, even a small one, from him while on the clock.

WFH!Nanami whose eyes twitch when he’s closing the call he sees his boss Gojo’s knowing smile and hears the start of the question, “So Nanamin… is Y/N, working from home to–”

WFH!Nanami doesn’t stay to hear the end of the question, quickly exiting the call and ignoring the message pings full of raunchy emojis he receives from Gojo.

WFH!Nanamiwho is still seated grabs you by your hair and ruthlessly face fucks you as soon as his camera turns off. He forces you swallow all eight and a half inches of him as you gag and slobber around his girth. Your jaw begins to ache but your eyes still roll back into your head with pleasure and you go limp in his grasp. You are willingly allowing your loving husband to turn your throat into his personal cocksleeve as you rub your cunt up against his leg, so close to cumming from the chafing of his slacks against your cunt.

Frustrated and annoyed it isn’t long before WFH!Nanami cums himself. His leg you are riding jerks up into you giving you the extra push you need as you moan around his cock and cream on his leg leaving a wet spot. WFH!Nanami has you choking down his thick seed. His cum and your drool dribble down the sides of your face when he finally slides out of the warm cavern of your throat cunny, leaving you panting as you try to catch your breath.

WFH!Nanami wordlessly wipes your face with the tissues he keeps on his desk and promptly ushers you out of this office, locking the door behind you. You aren’t upset though as you know what's in store for you once his work day is over. The locked door is more to keep him IN, than keep you OUT. Nanami would have to take the rest of the day off if he were to properly discipline you now. You being forced to wait and wonder how long he would take to finish his work was part of the punishment anyway.

You know WFH!Nanami is ready to administer your punishment once he calls you out by your FULL government name “Y/N Nanami!” Tonight is different and there is no dinner nor warm bath for you. Just a tired Nanami, weary of his bosses teasing and ready to take out all his frustrations on his wife’s naughty little cunt.

Your cunt in question nearly starts voguing in anticipation as heat pools between your legs once you are called into the bedroom. You already know what time it is once you see WFH!Nanami loosen his tie and take off his belt slowly while sternly saying your name once more.

The belt and tie?

Oh, the belt is used to tie your arms behind you and the tie is now a gag, for having such a filthy cock-loving little mouth he will tell you. It’s not long after that until you are face down, ass up getting pounded into the mattress as WFH!Nanami nearly cracks the headboard with the force he is using to thrust into you. Your cries of “K-Kento!” are muffled into the makeshift gag when a firm slap causes your ass to ripple more aggressively against his pelvis.

Nanami growls deeply into your ear.

“Welcome to Pound Town, Barbie.”

Any muffled cries for mercy fall on deaf ears as WFH!Nanami is too focused on his retribution for your earlier antics as he continues to wreck your pussy from behind. His heavy balls smack against your clit and your sloppy cunt echos vulgar squelches that bounce off your bedroom walls and erotically ring in your ears. The hand pressing your head further into the pillow beneath you is the same hand Nanami wears his wedding band on. It glimmers brightly even in the dimly lit room.

WFH!Nanami loves seeing his ring and remembering his vows in the moment. 💖

©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or graphics, do not translate.

a/n: Nanami brainrot overload (i wfh! lord god when is it my turn, bring me a nanami i BEG) and day 18 without adhd meds lol, finally finished something though. Nerd!Geto and The Nursery ft. Toji is soon I promise!

reblog to get your on WFH!Nanami but comments and likes are always appreciated!

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shakespearesdaughters · 2 months

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“I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it.

I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person’s back, and as a certain person loves to wear dagger proof tunics, and as a dagger proof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair of binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home.

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguised and until every home is rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest of policemen. I will love until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of the V. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple, and until the apple hates a tree and the tree hates a nest, and until a bird hates a tree and an apple hates a nest, although honestly I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try.

I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively.

I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and now matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this.” ― Lemony Snicket

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imaginal-ai · 1 month

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"Closeness" (0004)

(More of The Couples Series)

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0002

0001

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apdreadful · 3 days

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Anyone saying that Tommy is just convenient, he’s just a stepping stone, or Buck is confused and projecting his feelings for Eddie onto Tommy. Denial is not a river in Africa.

Buck didn’t just roll out of bed one morning and decide “I am declaring myself to be bisexual! And starting today, I’m looking for a guy”

Buck has ALWAYS been bisexual. So the whole time we have known Evan Buckley, he has been attracted to men.

However, it’s very likely had never really sat with and processed what to do about that attraction prior to meeting Tommy. Never acted on it prior to Tommy. Never made it as obvious to anyone before Tommy.

In retrospect, the signs were definitely there, before Tommy.

The catalyst for the change? Is Tommy.

He made the conscious decision to go see Tommy when he had no damn reason to. He wasn’t thinking of leaving the 118, he just wanted a reason to see him again. I don’t think Buck actively processing “I want to date this man” he just wanted “something” and Tommy was part of that something. But he had no damn idea how to get his brain wrapped around what exactly he was planning to do with those feelings “Huh, this is more…what do I do now?” Hence the basketball game.

And I don’t know if it was before Tommy came over or if seeing Tommy standing there in his apartment made those pieces finally click into place for Buck.

(Personally I’m leaning toward that “Well not at the same time” response to teaching him Muay Thai. Because there was no mistaking THAT look that Tommy gave him)

Because if you have ever been into someone and are even the tiniest bit queer, you saw that dance for exactly what it was.

The subtle signs, the shifting in atmosphere, the carefully chosen words, way their bodies started mirroring each other as they moved closer.

Tommy having more experience with this dance, started getting the inkling this may be going SOMEWHERE...So he took that chance and dropped the “Well probably not at the same time”with THAT look. That look was a whole sentence.

Now Buck’s awakening bisexuality, understood that look. And those butterflies starting flying and he stepped right up and said “I have been trying to get your attention”

He decided THIS man. Right here. Is the one that I want enough- choose to just lay it all out for.

Now for any baby bi THAT is a big damn leap. Because you think you know..But you don’t have the experience to know if you’re reading the signs right.

Brass Tacks my lovelies is..

Buck wanted Tommy..he wasn’t entirely sure for what. But he knew it was Tommy specifically.

And if you think he’s projecting his feelings about Eddie onto Tommy. Go back and look at that first episode Eddie shows up at the 118 in.

Buck wanted to be in that firefighter calendar, and he saw Eddie as competition to getting that which he wanted. Eddie was his competition. Did he recognize that he was competition because he also looked hot af?

Yep.

So when Tommy catches Bucks interest, once again Buck finds himself in competition against Eddie for the thing he wants, which this time is Tommy’s attention. And because Eddie is his best friend, and he knows Eddie is awesome. In Bucks head, Eddie is worthy competition for Tommy’s attention. It doesn’t matter that Eddie isn’t interested in Tommy the same way Buck is.

If it were Eddie that Buck really wanted, why tf hadn’t he asked Eddie to teach him Muay Thai? They’ve been friends for years. Why had Buck not been interested in the basketball game prior to Tommy’s appearance??

Buck is bi. And it was the hot dish casserole that is Tommy Kinard that made all those little “huh” moments click into “well that’s makes sense” place.

So stop playing at being flat earthers.

#Tommy totally ignited that bi 🔥 in Buck.#like a big ol bonfire WHOOSH #and I don’t blame Buck one bit #911 abc #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 spoilers #buck x tommy #evan x tommy #bucktommy

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coeurify · 1 year

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perfect girl II | ellie williams.

tlou2 ellie williams x fem!reader. college modern au universe. part one here. part three here. not heavily proofread. 6.6k words

after the first time you hooked up, resident university dealer ellie williams cant keep away from you, despite your avoidance.

this has smut, 18+ only. mean!reader , mean!ellie. sort of dom/sub dynamics. name calling, lots of fighting. they fuck instead of talking through the tension. oral!ellie receiving, thigh riding!reader receiving. slight choking. just lots of filth.

It had been two weeks. Fourteen days to be exact. 3 parties had passed by that time. You went to none of them.

Two weeks after you walked out of that room from that frat party, tugging your skirt down and avoiding as many prying eyes as you could until you were out the door, a certain university drug dealer hot on your tail.

Fourteen days since you let Ellie leave you at the door of your sorority with nothing more than a thank you for getting you home. The cold walk back to campus had been enough to send you into avoidance mode. You slept alone that night, and dreamt of what happened. Over and over.

Three parties passed, and you avoided going to each one. One was a day after the incident, and you used the excuse of studying to hide out in your room with a sweatshirt that covered the marks on your neck. Mostly however it was so you didn’t have to meet her eyes.

The second and third party you avoided were last weekend’s. You got side eyes from certain sorority sisters when you denied going— this time under the guise of being sick. Really though, you were sick. Sick from the way that stupid green eyed girl would not leave your mind. Sick of revisiting how it felt to be putty in her fucking hands. How it felt to be so close to her, the sound of her fingers moving through your folds. It never left your mind.

It was ridiculous, you had told yourself that over and over. She wasn’t worth your time of day. Was not worthy of the space in your mind she occupied. But it didn’t help. You still found every waking moment consumed by her.

By the time of tonight's party, what would be the fourth you had bailed on.. only Dina popped her head in to ask you to go. Of course you refused, which now left you in the almost completely empty sorority house.

Maybe it made you a bad sorority member to do this, to avoid what was essentially your duty. But none of the girls wanted to deal with your ever growing attitude and sharp glares when it was brought up. So you were not poked and prodded for answers to your sudden refusal.

Currently laying on your bed, you rubbed a hand over your tired eyes. The blanket beneath you shifted as you turned, annoying you. You needed to find a distraction— something to keep your mind from wandering to wondering what a certain somebody might be doing at the party happening right now. You found yourself surveying your room in search of anything to clean to appease this.

The lights dangling across your walls lit the small area a warm golden, showcasing the neat and clean walls and dressers. You barely had anything hanging from your walls.. spare a few photos and a calendar labeled with pink pen marks. Not a single thing was out of place or messy. Just like your appearance, you pride yourself on an absolutely perfect living space. Books tucked into shelves by color. Clothes hung in your closet by type and size. Even your desk had no sign you were an overly stressed university student.

You raise yourself from the plush pillow on your bed, tying your hair into a neat ponytail as you stand. You get to work quickly. You rearrange the soft colored comforter to be even.. styling the pillows to appear untouched. It wasn’t like anyone would ever see it, but the perfection of it all gave you a sense of calm nothing else could.

Looking too long made you think of the dark blue blanket on that bed, on being fucked into the much stiffer mattress. God, the thought made shame boil up in your stomach. Unable to tell if that shame came from the act itself or the absolute zero contact that followed it. Not wanting to think about it, you move to the desk in your room, grabbing a folder to tuck it away.

The only noise is the wooden floorboard that creaks under your feet— otherwise completely silent. There aren't many times like this when you live in a house full of young adult women, so you welcome the silence happily.

However, it isn’t quiet for long. You can hear the telltale sound of the large wooden door up front slamming open. It springs a frown to your face as you quickly glance at the small alarm clock on your desk. It was only around Ten, no way were the girls home already.

The noise continues, footsteps much too noisy to be any of your friends stomping up the stairs and down the hallway. You pause as they get closer.

A million options race your mind at what may be happening. Dina coming home early after a fight with her boyfriend Jesse. Another member sneaking a boy into her room (which was heavily against the rules from your sorority leaders..). Maybe even an axe murderer. When they harshly knock at your door, you begin to lean toward the third option.

Not a single pocket of your mind however thought of what came next.

“Open your door.”

It’s loud and angry sounding, and very obviously Ellie’s voice.

The folder in your hand drops to the ground, and you scramble to pick it up as quietly as possible. You don’t answer at first, though you guess she could have heard the squeak that passed your lips when her fist slammed again on the door.

“I know you’re in that room. Your name is on the fucking door, just open it.”

The tone leaves little room for you to get out of the situation, so you instead quickly tug your sleep shorts down to cover more of your thighs and walk to the door. Taking a deep breath in to compose yourself, you shuffle slightly. You do your best to fall into that attitude you always had with her as your fingers graze the doorknob. But it’s a bit harder this time to play the stone cold bitch when all that annoyance had been replaced with a sickening sort of need that you tried desperately to ignore.

Still, you put a tight lipped frown on your face as you open the door. “What the fuck do you want Ellie?”

Ellie looks at you, still wearing her jacket and backpack she brought to parties to sell her weed. She looked good, even dressed as messily as this. The backpack clued you into the fact she may have left the party, but you can’t fathom why.

Her cheeks are a shade of red that you hadn’t ever seen before. Her lip is bitten raw— which makes you queasy if you think about it too long. Her hair is tugged into that style that you so desperately hate again. It’s the first time in weeks you had seen her face, and it all makes you so dizzy.

“What the fuck do I want? That's how you wanna greet me after this shit?” Ellie scoffed, pulling you out of your mind. “Let me in your room.”

You shake your head, crossing your arms and standing directly in front of the gap in the door.

“Let me in the room or I swear to fucking god I will scream so loud everyone on the block will know i’m here.”

The childish comment makes you roll your eyes, comforting yourself in the familiar fire it brings about. You settle into it easily, like a blanket over frozen skin. It's much easier than whatever your emotion surrounding her has been lately. You can work with this. You can keep her away with this.

“Fine, but you can’t have that in my room, it smells like weed.” You motion your head to her bag, still vehemently against that awful smell that you had grown accustomed to smelling on her the past months.

Ellie was not exactly in the mood to take orders from you, as the weeks of anger from your ghosting was now spilling over like boiling water in a pot. Ever since that night she had been tightly wound up. Your missing appearances at the parties only made it worse.

But still she shrugged the backpack off of her shoulders, harshly shoving it to the ground outside your door and stepping in as you tried to protest the sorority girls seeing it.

She didn’t listen to any of your words, slamming the door shut behind you two, taking in your room with a quick glance. “Tell me why you’re avoiding the parties.”

Having Ellie in your space made you itchy all over— you picked at the skin of your nails to calm yourself. You eyed the way she stepped, watched her look around at your belongings. Of course you didn’t answer her question . “Can you avoid the rug if you aren’t gonna take off your shoes? It’s white.”

Ellie looked at you straight in the eyes as she raised her foot and stepped onto the carpet. You bit the inside of your cheek.

“Answer my fucking question.”

“Get off my fucking carpet,” you retort, crossing your arms over your chest again. You were both being childish now, a trait that only seemed to come out of you around her.

Ellie again went directly against what you asked. Instead stepping over your carpet again to make her way toward your neatly tucked in bed. She looked at the colors there, gentle pastels and whites. It doesn’t surprise her. Just as soft as you. But that also isn’t what she's here to focus on.

“Answer me,” she asks again, this time just a tad softer.

You refuse to meet her eyes— instead moving to finally put your folder back in its place on your shelf. You stay silent as your mind works through what to say next.

“Are those fucking color coded?”

You shoot a glare at Ellie, but it doesn’t work on her. It never really has. She doesn’t look away like any other college kid would around you. She just looks straight back.

“I’m sick Ellie, that's why I haven’t been to parties. I also happen to actually care about my grades and studying unlike you.”

The jab falls from you too easily. You almost feel bad for it, but Ellie doesn’t seem phased. She looks at the pictures near your bed, and then back to you. Standing directly across from you now, she takes another moment to answer.

“That’s bullshit and you and I both know it.”

Shrugging, you turn back to your desk. “Don't know what you mean. I have no reason to lie.”

You can hear Ellie make a noise behind you, and you just know she’s shaking her head in that disbelieving way.

“No reason, really Y/N?” Her voice is near now— almost like she’s stepping closer. You breathe in sharply and try to busy yourself fixing pens on your desk. Her calling you by name almost shakes you as much as her being here in the first place. No nicknames you claimed to hate.. just a harsh tone.

You can’t answer, shaking your head. You just need a moment to collect yourself, to find something inside that can make you strong enough to face her and tell her to get the fuck out.

You are not given that chance, a wandering hand moving to the hem of your tanktop to stop you from moving. It makes the top feel much too revealing now, goosebumps popping up on your arms immediately. The hand moved to turn you around. You go without a fight. But your palms grip the wood of the desk behind you when you are met with Ellie’s close by frame. It feels too reminiscent of you pressed against the edge of that bed in the frat house. You focus your eyes behind her to at least find solace in not having to meet her gaze.

“Nothing of importance happened at the last party you went to?” She pried, “Nothing to make you nervous to go to the next?”

“Nope.”

Ellie seemed to absolutely hate that answer, rolling her eyes and letting her hand fall from its place on your skin.

“Still a bitch I see. You leave me on your doorstep after I fuck you, and then completely avoid me for weeks? Now you have the damn nerve to act like none of it happened?”

The way she says the words makes you want to fall in on yourself. Ellie sounds angry still, undoubtedly. But there’s something else there.. something that sounds like hurt.

“It was just a hookup, Ellie. You have no right to show up here. You said I needed to get laid, so I got laid. Didn’t think it was mind blowing enough to warrant a response like this.” You motion to her.

The words are said in an even tone— desperately trying to cling to any semblance of nonchalantness. But it's mean, you know that. To act like it meant little more than if you had jumped the bones of one of those frat boys who clawed after you. It was harsh to act like that hadn’t been the best fucking sex of your life. But mean and harsh was what you were best at when it came to Ellie.

The sentence didn’t have the intended effect on Ellie though, who knew your tricks too well to actually feel wounded. No, it just made her more fucking frustrated with you. On how you could try and deny how much of a mess she had made you. There was no way you had forgotten, she sure as hell hadn't. “Right. Not mind blowing enough but it made you run scared from any party I may be at.”

“You think too highly of yourself Ellie. It hasn’t crossed my mind once.” It’s obviously a lie as soon as you say it. The way your voice wavers enough for Ellie to pick up on leaves no room to deny it.

She watches you, jaw tensing. Her eyes shift around and you can tell she’s mulling over her next decision.

When she finally speaks, it's in an annoyingly high pitched tone. “Oh Ellie please touch me,” she begins taunting.

You shove her away quickly, a fast flame rising in your stomach. You know exactly what she’s doing. How could you forget those words?

She doesn’t stop, placing a hand on her chest as she continues to speak. “No one else ellie,” she pulls out a faux moan that makes you want to slam your head into the desk. “Wanna make you feel good, el..” she continues to recount your own words back at you in a whiny tone.

It works, the mocking she’s doing. Shame bubbles up in you and pulls at each nerve on your body. You feel hot all over, stomach churning and feet pressing heavily into the floor under you.

“Shut the fuck up,” you demand, slapping her arm as you puff little angry breaths out. Her posture is less tight now, the embarrassing joke seeming to calm her. Of course it did.

Ellie doesn’t stop, the sting of the slap only drawing her close to you again. A smile dawns on her freckled face as she continues her teasing. The quick switch from steadily angry and serious to this.. it throws you for a loop.

“Had you fucking crying for me, princess. Now you wanna act like it was some subpar hookup?”

Your mind tries to straighten out your thoughts, pick through your brain to find a worthy retaliation. But there is none. She had you snared tightly in this trap. You had no fucking way out. No snarky remark could free you from the powerless feeling currently falling over you. Your heart pulses under your tight chest and you can only manage a scoff in response.

It amuses Ellie enough to draw a laugh from her. One completely at your expense. “What? Can’t deny it?”

When you resort to silence and a mean look, Ellie smiles widely. “Don’t even need you to say it, I got the answer I was looking for. Its driving you fucking crazy that you liked it so much? Right? Can’t stop thinking about it?” Her feet drag closer, finger moving to grace over the goosebumps on your arm. “Avoid coming to parties ‘cause you know I’ll be there right baby?”

The way she coo’s the pet name makes you want to wobble. But you refuse to give in.

“Too scared you’d want me again? That it wouldn’t even take you ten minutes to be begging at my feet to steal you off to a bedroom?”

You try to turn your chin away and avoid her seeing your blush, but she grabs your face so you have to look at her.

“You know how easy it was to make you all pathetic, princess? You knew it wouldn’t be hard to get you all whiny like that again, Didn’t you?”

You shake your head to deny it, but the way you tremble under her touch gives it away.

“I should leave you here, you know? Get you all worked up then walk off. Just like you did to me.”

Something blossoms in you to hear her admit you got her worked up. That you had affected her even a fraction as much as she had to you. You swallow it down like nails in your throat, gulping.

She pauses her constant stream of taunts to look down at your shirt and shorts. So pretty and expensive. So you. Now it was her turn to shift uncomfortably.

“If you don’t want this, tell me to stop.” She’s speaking lowly— cutting off her words before they can seem desperate. She wants this just as badly as you try to deny you do, and you know that. You know you have a moment to decide your next course of action. To scream at her to get off you, to kick her to the curb and protect yourself from the mess sure to follow whatever would happen. You knew there was no going back if you did this again.

You don’t. You don’t say a single fucking thing. And that’s plenty of an answer for Ellie. She moves quickly to remove the hand from your chin— instead moving it to your shoulder. “Get on your knees.”

The demand finally gets words out of you, eyebrows furrowing. “Huh?”

“Get on your knees.” she repeats. Ellie’s tone is harsh again, back to whatever space she seems to enter around you. She pushes you a bit— showing exactly what she wants you to do.

It doesn’t take much of a shove to fall to the hard wood of the floor. She didn’t even move you to the carpet. Fucking dick.

You try to bite back the overwhelming shame it gives you to look up under your lashes at Ellie. She watches you, waiting for you to adjust as she walks around you to lean against the desk.

“You remember what you said before I took you home? That you wanted to make me feel good?” Ellie hums, tilting her head down at you.

“Stop bringing that up,” you grit.

“You aren’t exactly in the position to be making demands, princess.” She brings her foot forward to tap your knees gently.. reminding you of the fact you are quite literally beneath her.

“You owe me, got me so fucking worked up y’know?” Her hand moves down to work on the button of her old jeans. The realization of what was coming shakes you, heart jumping into your throat.

You don’t answer, instead watching as she motions to you. “C'mere baby, take my pants off for me.”

It feels demeaning, the way you crawl forward slightly to be directly at her feet. Staring at her, you make a small groan, hoping she may spare the embarrassment.

It was embarrassing nonetheless, even more so when she shook her head and again motioned for you to move. It made you sick how easily you had fallen to your knees. Figuratively and literally. How quickly she had coaxed submission out of your usually stubborn demeanor was almost pathetic. You do it anyway, manicured fingers raising to the denim and pulling it down with a blush. You pull them from her legs and watch as she kicks them into a pile with her shoes. On top of your white carpet of course.

You look up at her again, watching as her expression changes at this sight. “So fuckin pretty on your knees for me baby.”

The praise makes you squirm— the warmth now radiating into your lower belly.

“Want you to make me feel better. Think I deserve that after you leave me high and dry hm?”

It’s true, even more so than you would like to admit. It was a total asshole move to ghost her after both of you implied there would be something more. Right now it isn’t a very serious dig— not when she knows what's coming.. but it still has you feeling desperate to make up for it.

It takes a lot to force the next words out of your throat, “Yea.” The one word feels like admitting you were wrong, that she had the power. So it's hard to say, still ruled by the embarrassment all of this situation brings.

She debates forcing you to say more, but you still seem to be only dipping into that pool of submission you had been in last time.. so she gives you a moment.

“Want you to let me fuck your face, can you do that for me?”

You want to stand up right then. You want to refuse to do something so degrading, you want to ignore the way the words make you feel. But you can’t. Not right now. Not for her.

However she won't get an answer out of you, just a nod of permission. The silence annoys her, hand moving to pull at your tied up hair in response despite promising herself a slow start. “Stop the silent act, answer me. Tell me you want this.”

You clench your jaw, not ready to give in. When she gives another tug to your hair, this one harsh enough to pull a yelp from you.. it makes you change your mind.

“Yes Els, I want this, I want to make you feel good.”

The words start off quietly, still finding your footing to avoid burning alive from embarrassment. But as you continue, as you watch the way she seems so pleased to hear it.. It becomes easier. It's more natural when you add in another, “please.”

How she had this pretty little stuck up sorority girl wrapped around her finger was enough to make her wet, but the way you stared up at her, mouth slightly agape upon seeing the black boxers she was wearing, god did it make it even better.

“Alright princess, open your mouth ‘n stick out your tongue for me,” Ellie requests, pulling her boxers off as you do so. It feels too wrong to steal any glance at her body.. despite how you wanted to. It was more than you had ever seen, as she was completely dressed when she had gotten you in a position like this before. Surprisingly having been the put together one in that situation.. and you had an inkling it would end similarly today.

But you can't help it, eyes following her movement as you come eye to eye with her glistening centre. If you had been more mouthy still- you would have made a comment about how wet she was. But the sight renders you speechless. Licking your lips as you squeeze your own thighs together. “Ready?” she asks— tone too even, mouth too harshly pulled into a straight line. The auburn haired girl is trying far too hard to act unaffected by you under her.

Her tattooed hand grips your hair even tighter, a burning sensation pulsing through your scalp as she pulls you closer. You welcome the pain and the dizzying sort of calm it lulls you into. Nodding, you open your mouth again to please her.

Another second passes and then she’s pressing down into you, your nose bumping her throbbing clit. It again makes another pulse of confidence run through you at the undeniable sign she needed this. Needed you.

You make quick work of kitten licking over her slit, happily drinking down the wetness there. You hear small grunts above you, and know you’re doing the right thing as you press your face further in to collect more of her taste on your tongue. You don’t care that your knees already hurt, or about the pain in your neck from leaning it back this much. Ellie certainly didn’t either as she began rocking against your lips. She trembles over you as your nose bumps into her clit again.

“Fuck, shoulda done this earlier. So much better with your mouth like this. No bitchy comments to make, hm?” Ellie says into the air, trying to hold back noises. Your eyes catch as she tilts her head back and speeds up her pace though. You flatten your tongue against her, letting her take control now.

“Shit,” she grunts again, face screwing up as she pulls your hair back and forth to move with her. Your comfortability goes completely out of the window when her stomach starts to tighten. Ellie is moving harshly against you, not caring that she's spreading her wetness all across your chin and mouth— not stopping when you start to gasp for air.

Your nails move to grip into her thigh, leaving little crescent moon shapes there. It doesn’t slow her down, more continuous grunts falling from her bitten lips. Desperate to hear more of the sounds you suck up the suffocating feeling. If you were to die here, it would be fucking happily. You continued to try your best to lap at her even with the rapid movements.

Her hips stutter, finally pushing a full moan out of her. It’s music to your ears, ringing through your mind. “Jesus, baby,” she continues, pausing on her words for another moan. You hear a slight whine there, one that makes you go unsteady. “Just like that princess, gonna come in your mouth. Fuck, I cant believe i got you like this.”

The blunt and dirty words make you whine against her, begging with more scratches down her thighs for it. for her.

Seeing you worked up over just giving her pleasure, it sends that final shockwave through her and her hips completely stop. She pulls on your hair with her fist enough for you to cry out as she works herself through the orgasm. She rocks her hips slowly for a few seconds after that, watching on as you try desperately to collect all that you can from her slit. It almost makes her come again to see it. To see how obsessed you are with her. How you searched for more

When she pulls you back by your ponytail, your chin is shiny with her. You want to complain, want to press forward and make her come again. But you can't make any words, not when she breathes out to steady her chest. Not when her hands shake as they let your hair go, moving to pull up her boxers. It tilts your universe completely off axis to see her so close to crumbling, so Un-Ellie like. You wonder if this is how she feels when you fall apart for her. You don't have long to pause on this thought before Ellie is forcing you up onto your feet, laughing when you stumble like a newborn deer.

“Ya look so messy,” she compliments, wiping a hand to clean your chin. Her green eyes meet your glistening lips, and watches as you suck the bottom one between your teeth. It drives her crazy, something telling her she may be addicted to making you fall into a state like this. Just like she had in that frat party.

“Should I leave you like this? Go have a smoke and let you get off on your own?” Ellie questions, moreso to herself. She really should, as a lesson for you. To get back at you for the last time. But god, the way you look at her, completely ready to listen.. How can she resist?

“Fuck you,” you bite— only making her smile more. There you were, even under all that cloudiness Ellie brought over you.. your attitude was still there.

“You just did, pretty,” her finger rubs over your splotchy cheek, no doubt a result from the air you were not getting when your face was pressed between her thighs.

“Ellie..” you mumble, beginning to actually worry she would leave. She had every right to. But the wetness you feel in your panties, the burn between your thighs.. it's making you ready to get on your knees again to beg.

She sighs, walking across your floor until she hits your bed, tumbling back on it. “Hm?”

“Im-” you puff air into your cheeks for a long breath, following her like a lost puppy. It brings that addicting feeling of power back into Ellie’s body, and she lounges herself comfortably on your comforter. “You're what.. tell me..” she tilts her head.

“Ellie cmon,” you can't help the whine to your voice. “I need you.” You mumble as you crawl onto your bed and on top of her. The sight amuses Ellie, who watches you with little interest.

“Dunno, I'm pretty tired,” Ellie shrugs, stretching out and leaning against your pillows. You fight the urge to tell her off for it, much more focused on getting rid of the ache between your legs. you pout, unable to stop it. “El..” you are full out whining now— only further egged on into your desperation when she lets you move to straddle her waiting lap. You want to start moving immediately, but something deeper in you tells you to stay put until Ellie gives you anything.

“I could really go for a joint right now, honestly..” she trails off, meeting your gaze. “Fuck off,” you cant help but say— clawing at your own shirt. You pull it off, tossing it messily onto your floor. It makes your stomach twist for a split second, not taking it to the hamper. But that wasn’t exactly top priority. When the air hits your nipples they hardern immediately, drawing Ellie’s attention.

The green eyed girl’s jaw clicks at your insult, and at how you had shoved your shirt off before she could. She was getting there, really. But you were too impatient, like always.

“I'm not getting you off,” she finally decides, clearly speaking. But she still reaches forward to run a thumb over your peaked nipple, making you involuntarily buck into her. The feeling of your center finding friction on her lap pulls a small sound from you. Ellie hums at how responsive you are, “But you can.”

You aren’t quite sure what she means, but hands quickly come to shift you onto only one of her thighs.. and you quickly understand. “You wanna get off baby? Ride my thigh. Get off all on your own.”

Ellie yawns like she couldn’t care less, leaning back and watching you, fingers rubbing circles on your hips.

“You’re such a fucking dick,” you whine, unhappy you were not getting your own way. Ellie shrugs again, and you want to wipe the pleased look off of her freckled cheeks. She gives you a head start by dipping her fingers into the elastic of your shorts. “Yea.. im an asshole, im a gross drug dealer, you're so much better than me..” she chastises, watching you lift your hips as she pulls the silky shorts and lace panties down your legs. You let it happen all too easily. “But who’s the one pulling off her pretty little pajamas to get off on my thigh?” she questions.

You can't deny that, definitely not as Ellie stimulates the first rock of your hips down against her mostly bare thigh. The feeling washes over you, eyes rolling back. Any grip you still had over yourself and your control is drowned out by the feeling. It’s embarrassing to admit how wet you are, how wet eating her out had made you. Of course she comments on it, always looking to shame you.

“Fuck, can feel you dripping on me princess— always so wet for me, hm? So much for not mind blowing huh?” She asks, letting her hands still so you can continue the movements on your own.

“El..” you gasp, blinking quickly as one hand rests on her shoulder, getting a better angle to let your hips move against her— whimpering at the wet pressure of yourself against her.

Her eyes catch your own, before dropping to where you are rutting down on her thigh. At first you aren’t sure it will be enough— your sore knees now accompanied by burning muscles. But you know this is your only option. It sure does help when she leans forward though, no longer fighting against her want to press lips against your neck.

The marks from last time were now almost completely gone, much to her dislike. This could have been completely avoided if you hadn’t been such a fucking bitch. If you had just gone to the parties and let her leave you with a fresh set of bruises each time.

“Fuck,” you huff when she bites at your skin meanly. Your movements falter from the rush of pain it brings. “Gonna let me mark you up, aren’t you baby? Make sure everyone knows your mine?”

The word mine sends you for a loop, and you pause slightly on it. Too desperate to get off, you don't comment on it. But it makes your stomach do flips, inable to tell if they are good or bad.

The threat is not an option for you, that was clear enough when she doesn't let up the harsh sucks and teeth marks on your throat. “If you fucking cover these up I will do it over and over again,” Ellie threatens, only making you whine louder. Your arm wraps around her back, pulling her even closer into the crook of your neck. She presses comforting kisses there to soothe the burning pain from all the bites.

“Won't,” you promise quickly, grinding even quicker down into her. Neither of you can be sure if you are just saying it in the heat of the moment.. but it affects you both all the same.

What you ask next is a shock to both of you. “Kiss me, El please kiss me,” you beg. Her face pokes out from your neck, questioning your words only for a second. She doesn’t ask before pressing her lips into yours, kissing you for the first time tonight. You’re quick to respond, following her lead in the quickly deepening kiss.

She swallows every single noise you make, tongue swirling around your mouth when you moan into her. Your hips are moving erratically now, your moans getting even louder against the kiss. Ellie kisses you harder, a bruising and hot kiss— both of you gasping against it.

This is far more intimate than the first time you slept together, the way you refuse to pull back from your lips even as you feel your orgasm rising up and up. She doesn’t allow for any room either, eager to bite at your lip, to let her hand move to knead at your tit. The new sensation overhwlems you, a repeated “fuck fuck fuck,” pressing against the kiss as you are finally sent toppling over into an orgasm. Even as it hits you, even as your hips stutter, you don’t pull back from the kiss.

Not until Ellie does first, her hand moving back to your hip when you slow. She forces you hardly back down against you, and your ears ring. “S-stop,” you whine— suddenly far too overwhelmed. Ellie doesn’t listen, guiding your hips to continue grinding down, even in your over sensitive state. She wants to pull another orgasm out of you, and she states so when you try to pull away.

“Dont fucking move away from me,” she demands. “Want you to come on my thigh again. Know you can take it. Know you want it,” she continued, bordering on slurring out the words. The auburnette seems almost as dizzy from this as you are.

You can feel your eyes sting, pussy throbbing against her thigh as she forced you to keep moving, rising to your peak at a record pace. “I can’t,” you babble, shaking your head quickly.

“Of course you can baby, look at the mess you made on me already,” your eyes follow her directions immediately, finding her thigh sticky with your slick. “So messy, so fucking pathetic. Getting off on my thigh, pathetic enough to come again.”

Tears spring to your eyes, stomach clenching. “Fuck, Ellie— fuck,” you cry out, tilting your head back to gasp. With how loud you are, you better hope none of your sorority sisters will be home early. You have no idea how much time had passed since Ellie walked through your bedroom door, but it felt like a lifetime.

Ellie’s free hand trails up your chest, fingers dancing across your collarbone. You just looked so pretty with your already reddening neck.. she couldn’t help as her palm rested on your throat, fingers wrapping around it experimentally. The loud cry the slightest pressure coaxed out of you pushes Ellie to grip harder.

“Of course you like this,” Ellie scoffs, admiring the way your eyes squeeze shut and your mouth falls open to wheeze. “Jesus, you really are such a slut, crying for me to choke you? All fucked out for me?” Ellie bites— but it falls upon fuzzy ears, your senses all going haywire as you sob, unable to catch your breath. It just all feels so amazing. Her thigh, her hand, the way she spits the words at you. You're coming again before you can even say anything, throbbing against her thigh as you fall forward into her, her hand releasing your neck as you do.

Ellie coos against your ear as you tremble through your aftershocks, calling you every sweet name under the sun. “So good for me, my perfect girl, so perfect.”

You cry into her, hot tears against your own cheeks and her neck. You whine sharply when she lifts you off, leaning down to pull off her sweatshirt. It confused you, blurry eyes quickly wiped by her thumbs. “Lay down,” she commands, and you can only babble incoherent begs for her as she stands and searches around your room, sweating as she throws her sweatshirt into the growing pile of clothes.

It leaves her only in her boxers and sports bra , and you watch on in slight amazement as her abs flex as she bends around looking for something. First she tugs her backpack into your room before you can protest. Then she’s back to searching. When she finally finds something to clean her thigh off with, she brings it back to you, wiping you clean again.

Still deep in your sub space, you grasp at her, and she happily complies climbing into the bed, welcoming as you press against her, searching for skin to skin contact.

You aren’t sure what the morning will bring. Not sure how you will feel when you wake up pressed against the one girl you swore to hate at this whole school. But you don't really care. You listen to her slowly lowering heartbeat as exhaustion pulls you into its arms.

You fall asleep against Ellie, and it’s the best fucking rest you have had in fourteen days.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie williams smut #tlou2 #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x fem reader

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steddieas-shegoes · 4 months

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more than everything else

For @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt ‘proposal’ wc: 999 rated m cw: suggestive language | tags: domestic fluff, sappy and romantic

💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍💍

“Steve! Freezer’s working again!” Eddie yelled from his spot on the floor behind their previously defunct freezer.

Eddie insisted he could fix it himself, hence the hours he’d spent on the floor with tools that weren’t doing anything and a lip bitten until it bled.

“Told you if you took your shirt off it would work faster,” Steve said from the doorway, hands on his hips as he took in the sight of Eddie being half naked.

Sweat dripping down his chest.

A bruise forming on his side where he’d dropped a wrench on himself earlier.

His newest tattoo peeling because he’d forgotten to put Vaseline on it earlier.

“I always listen to you, sweetheart,” Eddie smirked as he stood up. “You got any plans later?”

“I actually do remember something on the calendar.”

Eddie walked over to him, covered Steve’s hands with his own and rocked him side to side. “Damn.”

“Why? You wanna make plans?” Steve raised a brow.

“I thought I could get a reward for all my hard work today,” Eddie pouted his bottom lip out, eyes widening as he leaned further into Steve’s space. “Maybe in the bedroom?”

“Reward? For fixing the freezer that you broke?”

“I seem to remember someone saying that the freezer was just ‘old’ and that this ‘could’ve happened to anyone.’ Or am I mistaken?” Eddie let go of Steve’s hands but stayed close to him.

“I’m not sure who said that. I do remember someone saying that if you turned it down too far for too long, it would break, though. Maybe you can recall who said that?” Steve leaned in to peck his lips softly, teasing just a little with his fingers along the waistband of Eddie’s pants. “Seems like a smart guy.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well. At least the guy who broke it could fix it.”

“That’s right, baby.” Steve backed away. “Now. I’ve got baked chicken spaghetti in the oven for dinner and I made cookies earlier if you-“

“Marry me.”

Steve froze, his eyes widened.

Maybe Eddie could’ve been more eloquent, more romantic.

Shit, maybe he could do that still.

He reached for Steve’s hands, smiling softly at him as his eyes darted between Eddie’s, searching for him to say that it was a joke.

“I’m serious.” Eddie kissed his forehead before continuing. “You think I survived the hell of ‘86 to not end up with Steve Harrington? You think I’ve spent nearly every day of the last six years trying to be the best partner you could ask for, the kind you deserve? You make me wanna be more than everything else.”

“What-“

Eddie shushed him with a kiss. “When I was little, like barely old enough to ride a bike, my mom brought me to a flower shop. She said I had to pick a nice flower for my teacher so she knew I was a sweet kid. I picked a daffodil. She laughed and said ‘you know the love of my life always brought my a daffodil’ and when I asked why dad didn’t bring them to her anymore she said ‘he never did.’ And as I got older I realized what that meant. I never could ask her about it, but I eventually asked Wayne. He said-“ Eddie sniffed, biting his lip trying not to cry. “He said sometimes the love you get isn’t what makes you feel better than everything else, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to feel more than everything else. And I still didn’t quite get it, ya know? Made no damn sense to me when I was 13. Kinda thought Wayne was high.” Steve laughed, Eddie smiled. “But then I saw you in the cafeteria one day, and I saw the way you held the door open for some of the band kids even though Tommy was teasing you for it. And I saw how much you did for me at my worst, even before you had a reason to, before you knew it would be worth more. I see how you love, and how you keep loving, even when some people may not deserve it. I feel how much you are, how much more you can still be. And how much I wanna be more to be worthy of you. I don’t have much, you know I don’t, but you love me anyway. And you make me wanna be more.”

Steve’s tears were falling rapidly, a sob escaping at the end of Eddie’s words as he fell forward, his tears soaking Eddie’s shirt instantly.

“You’re enough for me,” he finally managed to say against Eddie’s neck. “You’ve always been enough for me. I don’t want more. I just want you.”

“I know, sweet love. I know.” Eddie’s arms tightened around him. “You think you could marry me?”

“Eds. I would marry you every day if we could.” Steve sniffed as he pulled away. “We can’t really do it, though.”

“Maybe not. But we can wear rings, tell everyone. I can call you my husband around the people who love us.”

That was a hell of a thought.

Husbands.

“You’re sure you want that?”

“Of course I am. Who else is gonna fix your freezer when it breaks?”

“Maybe you could try not to break it in the first place.” Steve smacked his shoulder. He kissed him slowly, tongue brushing against his bottom lip but not looking for more. “But I guess it would be nice to have someone around all the time to fix the stuff he breaks.”

“Hey!”

“I love you.”

It was that simple.

“So. My reward?”

“My hand in marriage.” Steve turned away and looked over his shoulder. “And maybe my hand in other places. If you hurry up and shower.”

“I’ll be done in five. Be naked on the kitchen table-“

“Eddie, not-“

“The kitchen table!”

Steve rolled his eyes but threw his shirt to the floor and winked before making his way to the kitchen. “Five minutes!”

#steddieholidaydrabbles #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #proposal

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homochadensistm · 4 months

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I am not Israeli so maybe I understood wrong how this country works but... there are arabs living there who are Israeli, right? It is not a full jewish state and I guess that arab Israeli are equal to jewish Israeli? So, where does this idea come from that Israeli do not want to live with arabs when... some of them are part of their population? Also, another question that comes to my mind but what would the arab Israel become under the Hamas' rule? We know they want the jewish population all dead but aren't the arab Israeli traitors? Will not they be slaughtered too? Is that when the internet will understand that the Hamas is just a death group, when they will have slaughtered the "right" group in their books, or will the Hamas be supported as them killing traitors? I don't want to come as someone who is trying to say that some Israeli are more worthy than the others, it is just that I am wondering because on the internet, when they talk about Israeli it is always "The Jews" not the global population.

Arab-Israeli citizens constitute 20% of the population and are the largest minority in Israel, not counting other Arabic-speaking minorities like the Druze, Bedouins and Circassians. Israel is indeed a 'full Jewish state' in the sense that its anthem, official calendar, official language and official holidays are all centered around Judaism both as a religion and an ethnicity. Arabic is legally considered the 2nd national language (after Hebrew) and while Islamic/Christian/Druze/Circassian holidays/traditions are not legally enshrined individually, they are legally respected/accepted in workplace laws and in other relevant fields (like medicine for example). While that is all true, it is a known fact that Arab communities receive less public funding from the govt (for a myriad of reasons that could entirely fill another post, and especially the current govt) which affects the lvl of education they can offer and other public services. Taking that into account, Arab-Israelis still outrank their counterparts from neighboring countries (and the whole MidEast if were being honest) both financially and on a societal lvl, living in a liberal country.

To answer ur 2nd question - yes, theyd absolutely be murdered by Hamas. 20+ Arab-Israelis were mercilessly killed and kidnapped on October 7th, it didnt matter to Hamas at all that they spoke Arabic or that they werent even "fully Israeli" (like the guy from East Jerusalem who was murdered on cam). They indeed called them traitors, Jewish dogs and other fun names.

People also tend to forget that, when the war for independence broke out, Jews werent the only ones fighting the pan-Arabists. In fact, several Arab communities (e.g., Abu Gosh) joined the Jewish Yishuv, and the Druze made a wholeass bloodpact with the Jews. And...Israel also houses a bunch of Lebanese chads too.

Israel could do a whole lot better in how it treats its Arab population (for starters, getting rid of that disgusting Law of Nation), but to say that theyll fare better under the kind of Islamic theocracy Hamas offers or the pan-Arabist communist utopia the PA and PFLP are offering is absurd.

Israel is not "just Jews", youre right. Its primarily Jews, and its main function as a country is to be a homeland for Jews, but it has a wholelotta other ppl that deserve to keep living and thriving here as equal citizens, and inshallah us Normal People will continue pushing them more into the public spotlight and pressure this cunt of a govt (and its successors) into further improving their conditions.

#israel #palestine #free palestine #from hamas

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theamericanpin-up · 4 months

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Earl Moran - "See Worthy" - January Grils of 1952 Calendar Illustration - Brown & Bigelow Calendar Co. - American Pin-up Calendar Collection

#earl moran #january #1952 #calendar #illustration #brown & bigelow #pin up #american pin up

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lani-heart · 15 days

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|| ENHYPEN SERIES – 7 TALES MASTERLIST ||

genre(s) -> hybrid au, non-idol au, university au paring(s) -> ehyphen ( individually ) x reader(s) warning(s) -> angst, violence, crimes, bullying, drinking, etc.

abstract -> what can go wrong in a world of hybrids?

-> uploading will start May 18 //Schedule tbd -> taglist open !!

RIKI NISHIMURA || SPOILED & MISBEHAVED

abstract -> Freshman in college and put to socialize with the other kids from wealthy families. y/n and Riki Nishimura being childhood friends and hybrid / master weren’t anything like other owners. Instead, Riki misbehaves and is rude when around others wanting his owner for himself. Getting her in trouble a few too many times had got him worried that he’d be replaced like her father warned him. So instead of waiting to be replaced… There's a new etiquette class available at the same school as his owner. How convenient… now was that gonna guarantee him a spot by her side forever?

CHAPTER ONE || “perfect hybrid” CHAPTER TWO || etiquette CHAPTER THREE || misunderstandings CHAPTER FOUR || jealousy CHAPTER FIVE || for you

JAEYUN SIM || EVERYTHING FORBIDDEN

abstract -> Seeing how Riki is treated, Jake, jealous and tired, runs away from the adoption center. Only to save a girl from the predatory men on the streets of Seoul. Not knowing he’s a hybrid, they both have the time of their lives… while he pretends to be human. How scandalous… the daughter of a wealthy known CEO to be caught with a stray hybrid?

CHAPTER ONE || outcasts CHAPTER TWO || luxury CHAPTER THREE || abandonment CHAPTER FOUR || forbidden CHAPTER FIVE || anything

PARK JONG-SEONG || NEVER ENOUGH

abstract -> Haechan always liked to interfere where he didn’t belong. Making a scholarship student take a hybrid and making a bet she’ll regret wasn’t on this year's calendar. Especially with how mean and rude he was… no way he was the well-behaved and sought-after hybrid the rich kids wanted. But… was sweet and caring, at the end of the day, however, he wouldn’t turn his life from riches to rags… right?

CHAPTER ONE || temporary CHAPTER TWO || scholarship CHAPTER THREE || mean CHAPTER FOUR || insecurities CHAPTER FIVE || forever

KIM SUNOO || WON'T YOU BE MY MUSE ?

abstract -> The principal's spoiled daughter returns from her trip to China only to find that her artist's block hasn't gotten any better. Who knew a cute and innocent fox would fix that? However… she swore never to own a hybrid so she could only admire him from afar as his owner turned out to be everything Sunoo hated. Even through that hatred and pain… she still saw him worthy enough to be her muse.

CHAPTER ONE || artist block CHAPTER TWO || exhibition CHAPTER THREE || envy CHAPTER FOUR || disappointed CHAPTER FIVE || muse

LEE HEESEUNG || DYSPHORIC BEAUTY

abstract -> Never adopted… I mean who would want to adopt a hybrid with big antlers on his head? It was a shame that such a pretty face had such an ugly thing growing out of his head. Would you want to adopt him? Even after he tried to cut them off risking his life in the process? Even after your parent's threats?

CHAPTER ONE || ugly CHAPTER TWO || doe eyes CHAPTER THREE || antlers CHAPTER FOUR || empty CHAPTER FIVE || pretty

PARK SUNGHOON || GRACE OF AN AMNESIAC

abstract -> The figure skater hybrid was sought after being sold for millions… but he met his match to take care of a clumsy woman. He was famous after all why should he have to take care of an idiotic woman like you who forgets to look both ways when crossing the street? Especially when you’ll end up forgetting him… all over again?

CHAPTER ONE || spring CHAPTER TWO || lies CHAPTER THREE || hate CHAPTER FOUR || truth CHAPTER FIVE || winter

YANG JUGWON || ESCAPE ARTIST

abstract -> Daughter of two renowned lawyers who just busted a case on the black mart hybrid traffickers damned their daughter with a hybrid. They thought it was a good thing to have someone to go home to after a long day… well that wasn’t true when he tried to run away every day. Until… one day she decided to not go find him.

CHAPTER ONE || service CHAPTER TWO || escape CHAPTER THREE || law CHAPTER FOUR || riot CHAPTER FIVE || liberty

if you would like to be on the taglist please send an ask or comment under this post. If you message me there might be a chance I don't see if and if you ask on another post such as in one of the chapters it'll be hard to keep up with.

taglist -> @ilovecheese09 @gudkc

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

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nolita-fairytale · 1 year

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try a little tenderness | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader one shot

summary: on the anniversary of mikey's death, you help carmy find a way to grieve. (set in the make my heart surrender universe, but can be read as a standalone piece)

warnings: swearing, grief, mild angst, mentions of death & suicide, second person pov, no use of y/n

wc: 2.3k

a/n: i wrote this as a way to process my own grief over the loss of a close friend to suicide. i fell so deeply in love with 'the bear' because i saw myself in so many of these characters: how they responded to losing mikey, the nature of the loss, and the ways they fought their grief. i see so much of myself in carmy in the show and this ended up being really cathartic to write, even though it's been three years now. anyways, heavy shit ahead so don't feel obligated to read but thank you if you do.

(banner made by @allthefandomstogether)

Grief is a funny thing.

For Carmy, most days it’s something easy to ignore – like an old friend that he’s managed to cut out of his day to day. He’s stopped calling, stopped picking up the phone, eliminated any and all thought about this thing that feels so foreign yet, so familiar at the same time.

But now he has you – and he’s never been able to bullshit you for shit. Some days, he feels like you see right through him. He knows he’s been irritable, short, impatient at the restaurant (and sometimes at home too). It’s something you handle better than he expected – better than he thinks he deserves.

“Honey, can we take a pause from this conversation? I just don’t think either of us are in the right headspace,” you’d asked him the other day when he’d tried to pick a fight with you. Completely caught off guard, Carmy had stared at you blankly in response, as if you’d suggested you both run naked down the street.

“If you wanna fight, we can fight. I just… don’t think this is what you’re upset about,” you’d explained, before slipping into the bedroom with the book you were halfway through.

And today, after he’d tried to pick another fight with you, you’d stopped him again, like a tornado hitting an immovable wall.

“Carmy, I’m not going to fight you about the dishes,” you’d sighed, shooting him a sympathetic look. “I’m gonna take a walk and pick some things up at the store for dinner. Is that still something you’d like to do?”

How could he forget when he’d been making his brother’s family recipe earlier that day, setting the braciole-filled dutch oven in the fridge to be put into the oven for later? But he almost has – another symptom of how checked out he’s been all week.

He’s not used to this. He’s used to his siblings – his mom – picking fights over the smallest things that usually escalated into a screaming match. And while you were willing to fight over things that felt worthy to go to bat for, always quick to call him out when he’s being a dick, you don’t engage in his smaller, more frivolous attempts at starting something over the smallest, nitpicky things.

It’s a whole new pattern for him, and he’ll admit, it’s harder than you make it look.

Earlier in the week, he knew he’d been in a trash mood. Then he looked at the calendar and saw what date was coming:

2/22/23.

Oh.

No wonder he’s been such an ass.

And now wonder you’ve been such a saint.

“Oh, um…” he stammers, as he realizes his memory has failed him again. “Uh… yeah, we can still do that.”

He’d forgotten you’d made plans for dinner in preparation for today, and truthfully, he’d been so absent-minded all week that he’s forgotten – forgotten about the plan, forgotten about what day it was, forgotten that that day was now today. Thankfully, you’d had the sense to make sure he was off that day, coordinating with the staff of The Bear to make it happen. While you knew everyone would be grieving today, you weren’t interested in a repeat of last year when the both of you were still in New York.

Sydney, the real hero of this story, had moved mountains to get everyone’s schedules nailed down for this week – knowing it’d be a hard week for everyone that knew and loved Mikey.

“No, we do not need a repeat of last year,” Sydney had agreed, as you’d explained to her the shit show that was Carmy going into work that night, one year ago. “Don’t worry. I’ll run the kitchen. Tap as many newer staff as I can to work too.”

With the recent press about The Bear (not to mention Sydney’s official James Beard finalist status) there’d been a huge increase in applicants lately. You couldn’t thank Syd enough.

“Okay. I love you, Carm. I’ll be back in a bit,” you reassure, before grabbing his keys and your coat.

“Yeah,” he mutters quietly, as he watches you go.

After lighting up a few in the apartment, he lays down on the couch, turning on something mind-numbing to not pay attention to on the TV. He’s not sure when or how long it takes him to drift off to sleep, but one minute he’s blinking his eyes closed, and the next he can hear the sounds of pots and pans clamoring around the kitchen.

He feels guilty: guilty for being an ass, guilty for trying to start something, guilty about what Mikey did.

You’ve told him time and time again: “I don’t think it’s fair to yourself to carry this much blame, Bear.” While normally, he’d love the way his familial nickname sounded coming from you, he’d winced at the mention – just because today, it hits a little too close to home.

He knows it’s not fair to himself – or to you – but it’s something he’s just not ready to let go of yet.

He can smell the braciole he’d prepared earlier that day; you’ve already put it in the oven, letting it braise slowly like it was meant to be. He recalled the conversation you both had had about this a few weeks ago.

“Let’s make a meal he’d like,” you’d proposed, wanting to be a supportive

“The braciole. Or maybe his spaghetti,” he’d suggested, so matter-of-factly that you could tell he was trying to mask his emotions.

“Maybe both?” you’d countered him.

“Yeah,” he‘d agreed, quick to put himself out of the discomfort the conversation was causing him.

“How do you feel about maybe asking some of the others to stop by, Only if they want. Only if you’re up for it,” you’d continued, cautiously.

“Can I let you know?” he’d asked.

“Sure,” you’d agreed, even though you knew he wouldn’t be bringing it up again.

As Carmy sits up from the couch, his mind drifting back to the present, he sees you posted up in front of his little apartment’s stove top, working on his brother’s spaghetti sauce. Pangs of guilt fill his chest, and he feels like absolute garbage for being a dick earlier. He can’t picture doing anything else tonight and he’s glad you had the foresight to do this. Carmy rubs the sleep out of his eyes, watching you move around the kitchen. You’ve got a window open just in case that tricky little smoke alarm goes off while you’re steeping the garlic in olive oil.

You’re busy trying to maneuver the largest saute pan Carmy owns over the burner for maximum heat exposure when he approaches. The sun’s already set, and the heat from the kitchen leaves a fog on the windows right near the stove, as you shake the saute pan by its handle.

“Hey,” Carmy says, his voice rough with sleep.

“Hey,” you reply, a soft smile on your lips as you turn to him. “Sleep alright?”

His unruly curls seem exceptionally messy this evening, and you can smell the remnants of the cigarettes he smoked while you were out. You hate how sexy you still find the nasty habit, even though you’ve tried your best to get him to cut back, citing lung cancer as a top reason. As much as you hate to admit it, you’re eager to taste the cigarettes on his lips, wiping your hands on your jeans because, unlike Carmy, you could care less to wear an apron at home. Framing his face with both of your hands, you place a gentle kiss on his lips, breathing him in as he kisses you back.

“Sorry I was an ass earlier,” Carmy says, in between kisses.

“Thanks. You’re kind of allowed to be an ass today though,” you say back.

He can’t believe you’re letting him off the hook this easily.

“And what about tomorrow?” he asks, taking a more playful approach this time.

“No, definitely not. Cut off. Ass privileges? Revoked,” you’re quick to banter back, earning a dry laugh from your boyfriend.

As you return to your post in front of the stove, Carmy slaps your butt playfully from your earlier comment, eliciting a giggle from you as he does it. He watches you work, adding salt to the tomato, onion, and butter you’re reducing in the saute pan, while the saucepan-filled olive oil/garlic/basil mixture comes up to a simmer.

“I know you’ve always said that Mikey’s pasta was over-sauced and under seasoned… but it sounds like he just needed a little extra salt and a few little tweaks here and there,” you continue, tasting the tomato sauce.

He’s not ready to taste the sauce just yet, even though he’d suggested you make the spaghetti in the first place. He watches as you use a spoon to check for salt levels, tasting the sauce first. You throw your head back as the salty tomato mixture hits your tongue. Carmy watches you carefully as you remove the sprig of basil with a pair of tongs, tossing it into a deli container for the trash later. Placing the deli container on the counter next to the rest of things you need to dispose of, his eyes linger on the 28 oz San Marzanos.

Because the small ones taste better….

You busy yourself with straining the oil, setting it aside to add to the sauce towards the end of the process. Carmy checks his phone briefly, seeing a few texts from Richie, Syd, and Tina – all just checking in.

“Silly question, I know. But how are you doing?” you ask him, having found a good stopping point.

Carmy thinks about it for a second. He’s not sure how he wants to answer – how he’s supposed to answer this question.

“I’m… I don’t know,” he managed to get out.

You nod in acceptance, before replying with an empathetic, “That makes sense.”

“It doesn’t feel real, I guess?” he admits, taking his time as the words fall out of his mouth.

“I can only imagine, Carm,” you sympathize. “Wanna help me out?”

“Yeah,” he replies, a half smile on his face.

You’re so kind, so understanding, so empathetic, and he can’t picture spending this day with anyone but you. He thinks back to last year – when he got the news. It was the worst day of his life and regardless of that fact, you’d been there: caring enough to show up, to fight with him, to make sure he ate something. And then that night… the night you crossed the line, slept together even though both of you knew it was a bad idea, that there was no way you could start something real.

He’s not sure how you got from there to here, but he thanks his lucky stars for whatever good deed he’s done in a past life that’s led to it.

“Thank you for this,” he says intentionally, making sure you hear him as he continues with, in reference to earlier, “... and I love you too.”

You don’t expect anything from him, and he’s grateful, because he’s not sure he has anything to give. Not today.

You give him the softest smile, something that makes him want to melt right there and then when you reply with:

“You don’t need to thank me.”

You step aside, making space for Carmy as you give him a task to do to help with dinner. You made the executive decision not to scale Michael’s recipes down, making them as written – family style. If anything, you hope to bring some of the leftovers, sharing his food in honor of his life. You wish you could’ve met Mikey, and since you didn’t get to, making his food feels like the best way to get to know the man Carmy loved and admired so much.

You queue up a good playlist, working in perfect harmony with Carmy till dinner is ready to eat. Between the braciole and the spaghetti, you know you’ll have more than enough leftovers to feed the two of you for the next week. You let Carmy plate – something he’s truly exceptional at – watching him as he creates a perfect twirl of spaghetti before tearing a few pieces of basil for garnish. As you bring the spaghetti to Carmy’s small dining table that is only meant to seat two, he plates up the braciole on one plate for the both of you to share. You set the table, enjoying the sounds of the playlist you’ve set for the night, before sitting down to eat.

Carmy takes his first bite of the spaghetti, knowing that it’s not going to be an easy thing for him. You watch closely as he tastes the sauce, his eyes closing and face turning a darker shade redder.

You wait a beat, letting him settle in before asking:

“What do you think?”

He nods his head, “It’s fire.” You can see that he’s holding back tears, not ready to lose all control just yet. “It’s actually better… than Mikey’s”

You eat your dinner quietly. It’s the good kind of quiet but the air feels heavy. Carmy may not always have the words for what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t need to right now. You try the braciole together, sharing one plate as he tells you about how Mikey refused to use raisins, even though that’s how they grew up eating the beef dish. You listen, letting him travel down memory lane, only as far as he’d like tog.

Halfway through dinner, Carmy says something that surprises you:

“We’ve got more than enough leftovers to feed a large family of… twenty,” he states plainly. His blue eyes water as he continues with an ask. “You uh… maybe wanna pack this up and take it to the restaurant tonight?”

“Yeah, Bear. I think everyone would love that," you agree, the smallest smile on your lips. "Would you... wanna tell me a little about him? On our walk there?"

Carmy nods, "Sure. Yeah, I-. I think I can do that."

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