#but you dont actually know me

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[emberglowfox]

Keeper -- a short comic about an angel meeting a robotic lighthouse keeper that doesn't know the world has already ended. Made in about 18 hours for a 24-hour 24-page* black and white comic challenge (that I arrived late to, ha.)

*the actual submission does not include the cover, which was created after the fact for this post.

This was a really great learning experience as someone who's... never really made a completed comic. I ended up really attached to the story by the end of the project (possibly due to all-nighter deliriousness lol) and ultimately am very proud of what I made.There are some things I'd still like to change, particularly text placement, but in keeping with the spirit of the challenge I've elected to leave it as is.

#sparks art #comic #angel #robot #my art #my comics #keeper: the angel #keeper: the lighthouse keeper #my ocs #hoogh. this was a grind yall lmao. but i am pleased with it #i hope you enjoy :pray: also keep your fingers crossed for me that this wins the contest #like it. it wont. because i am up against actual SEQA kids that know what theyre doing. and i dont actually mind really #but it would be funny #long post #very long post #sorry #i hope the readmore works

[pigdemonart]

GUESS WHO IS COMING TO DINNER?

Going to see the movie later today motivated me to clean up some sketches. Poor Mario…he is really trying to be a good brother here.

Like my art? Please consider tipping!

Important bonus:

#bowuigi #bowser #luigi #mario #smb #super mario bros #bowser junior #koopalings #my art #comic #like you know bowser only put on his loud outfit and brought the kiddos to passively annoy mario even more #like what would be more annoying…being a dick or actually turning out to be a good boyfriend #there is no winning…and mario is but a steamed roma tomato #also dont ask me how bowser puts on a suit…its canon he can and does when he feels like it!!! #he is a turt who accessorizes……

[thatkoiboi]

Part 2

Previous | Next

This is a fan comic inspired by Cass' Apocalyptic Series and is just my own little fan art of how Donnie and Casey could have gotten closer!

The creator is @/somerandomdudelmao

hebehjeabaje I did a warm up doodle of Mikey on the canvas and liked it so much I wanted to incorporate Mikey somehow (literally made up an excuse just to drop a bunch of easter eggs for fun).

#just my own silly ideas #cause all i think about is cass au #also dont mind tap and cass fighting on the monitor lol #i was going to add some of their extras but they have been silly lately so i made a cameo #in honor of all their service to the rottmnt community #like have you seen tap's recent animation???? #it probably doesnt matter when you read that cause tap is making animations all the time!! #i dont even know if don would actually watch fights cuz i know casey's fight was special but he's got monitors and its the apocalypse #also if this is a cass au fan comic its gotta have donnie being crazy in the background somewhere #this is the silliest it gets #rottmnt #rottmnt casey jr #casey jr #future donatello #future mikey #future leo #cass fanart tag #What Are You To Me? fan cas

[whilomm]

i like to think that the tentacles in dungeon meshi are kinda like mushrooms or perhaps even lichens in that they are very confusing to identifty and have 200 completely different species that look very similar ("delicious brown tentacle vs BROWN DEATH TENDRIL") and you need to be an Expert to determine the difference between some of the more confusing species and some of them have like 300 different sexes and some of them are actually composite creatures composed of several different species and somehow yeast is involved and also no one really knows half of whats going on with them and in like 50 years someones gonna figure out that uhm actually these are two completely different types of tentacle creatures that arent related like at All they jusf happen to look similar and oh btw that one common house mold is actually a tentacle

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #i dont know enough about lichens to go into detail they confuse the fuck outta me #i love how the wikipedia page uses the words #'was UNDERSTOOD to be...' #'in 2016 research revealed a NEW PARTNER a yeast' #they sound like fucked up little guys #(looking at tentacle porn) huh i wonder about the scientific research on these guys #like it would explain how theres just So Many Types and its just a fucking mess every time they appear onscreen #oh sorry you thought this was a common docile soecies of tentacle that happens to be delicious but its ACTUALLY the voracious Sex Tenta

[canidaezy]

how do transmascs not want to kill themselves all the time honestly

#i experience transphobia and hardship in my daily life #and then i go home and go on my computer and learn that i dont experience any of that actually #im just pretending. and i shouldnt talk about it because im just a fake trans #who wishes his experiences could even measure up to a crumb of what real trans people (women) have to go through #ok cool. #testosterone is a controlled substance did you know that. my state is actively making it harder for people my age to access hrt #but i guess since im transmasc i dont actually have to worry about any of that! im fine! #i didnt have a 3 month time limit before it would be illegal for me to access hrt! im transmasc im too privileged to worry about that! #transphobia #transandrophobia

[tubbytarchia]

I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional

#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian #joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans fanart #trafficblr #Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this #and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please #Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have #Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him) #But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but) #And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol #I love them so #oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying #but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy #Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea #tubby art

[yrsonpurpose]

Please stay gorgeous and strong and unbelievable. I miss you I miss you I miss you I love you. I’m calling you as soon as I send this, but I know you like to have these things written down. A ✿ / ❀

#rwrb #rwrbedit #red white and royal blue #alex x henry #firstprince #userninz #userveronika #chrissiewatts #usernuria #usersteen #userclara #usermegsb #usermaloune #mine* #been wanting to make a full one of these since the movie came out so now... the full (incomplete) list!! #something about this email thread just makes me want to stand in a dark room and scream #the realisation alex has about henry offering alex an out and that it actually Was a big deal to him to say that #if no ones loving me like this then keep it i dont want it #'i know you like to have these things written down' and then it gets leaked 😔😔😔 #alex saying that he cant match henry for prose but coming up with this list anyway #bc henry doesnt need all of the fancy words in the same way he just needs alex. and HIS words. and how he expresses his love in his own way #mhmm.

[lucabyte]

Taking pride in One's own appearance.

#you people are becoming my guinea pigs for my finally learning how to communicate information via comics. a thing ive needed to practice at #also BLEGH. YUCK. andrew hussie was right candy makes you sick. this is a little too saccharine for me. yeesh. let me get back to the meat. #isat #isat spoilers #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isat fanart #in stars and time fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #doodlebyte #'let me get back to the meat' i say eyeing something similarly sickly in my sketches. at least it's mildly tormented as a counterbalance... #you people have no idea how much im having to stay my own hand. oh i can draw miserable nudity but the most basic of fluff? visceral #anyway i dont know the logistics of picking up a glass eye or where loop got money (besides pilfering from siffrin) & ive previously drawn #sif with a vague blank middle-grey eye as either being scarred over or a blank occular prosthesis put in quickly at the nearest town #i dont know that they'd have a glass eye during the game but considering prosthesis are reccomended to keep the skull etc from deforming #id imagine it would probably come up postgame as something to do now theyre not on a time limit trying to save the country #plus i assume that having it gouged at by a sadness wasnt exactly a clean wound by any measure #all this to say. idk i just wanted to get some information across in comic form to Test my Abilities #and we're far enough down now to say my absolute most wretchingly sweet fluff headcanon that actually inspired this #which is that i think siffrin gets into the habit of not wearing the eyepatch around loop so they kinda match. #and as a signifier to the other that they're letting their guard down around them. vulnerability etc. #just kinda wearing it around their neck so they don't lose it

[gascreates]

emotional support frog

who will absolutely eat your hand.

#THIS FROG is a main character now #i dont make the rules #actually i do and you have to follow them #and the new rule is zuko has a badger frog and he doesn’t know what to do with it #he does not WANT the frog #it just wont leave him alone #he did not expect one of his first questions upon joining the gaang to be 'whats your pet policy' #also momo wants the frog now and it is unclear if his intentions are good #so zuko's playing it safe #abd unfortunately looking overprotective of his frog in the process #atla #zuko #also feel free to bug me for individual files #i can add em under the cut #when im not feeling lazy

[betterthanbatman1]

Jason Todd Red Beanie appreciation post

#The art mwah so beautiful #HES SO CUTE #THE WHITE CURLS COMING OUT AT THE FRONT #AND THEN THE BLACK AT THE BACK #(and sides) #I am aware that this is how beanies work lmao it just looks so lovely on him #Obsessed with this version of Jason #DC Jason artwork is actually feeding me #I’m so happy that this ‘look’ is canon for him you dont understand #I guess he’s The Red Beanie now #Who’s Red Hood? I only know Red BeanieTM #jason todd #red hood #batfamily #batfam #dc #dc comics #Gotham war #Also I edited the first pic. It originally had a large text bubble so I coloured over it using the background colour #Now I can see more of my boy’s face :) #(The white text bubble kind of drew my attention to itself after colouring out the text with white) #holy queue batman

[bottombaron]

oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #look im a reasonable guy #i dont get worked up easily and ive been around writers rooms and understand the pressures of writing a big show like wwdits #hell i even liked season 4 #but this has got to be one of the most offensive bs ive read that wasnt from 2015 #‘its only a small (but vocal) amount of people that actually want to see them together’ #‘their love isnt ~s*xual~ they dont need to kiss its more ~profound~ than that’ #‘you don’t REALLY want to see them together! (thats gross!)’ #also ‘the power dynamic is ~problematic~’??? are you kidding me??? #jfc its like someone literally got this out of the queerbating handbook from 2010 #and like yeah i know wwdits isnt queerbating but its queerness feels more performative when it treats an actual central relationship #like its a gross kinkything only a few freaks on the internet want #instead of a legitimate plausible story that deserves exploration #nandermo should be a triumph - a victory for the characters and something the writers should be pleased with writing #not…this. #like it’s some problem pressured reluctantly upon them that needs to be carefully defused #this has left a bad taste in my mouth

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

come get yer juice (aka some 'stocks i never posted </3)

#throws this at you all and runs #IM WORKING ON NEW SCRIBBLES POST-UPDATE ITS JUST. SLOW GOING #spoons are gone you see! #wait actually. the repressed one i doodled last night #BUT OTHER THAN THAT ITS SLOW GOING #but ohhhhh im so ill. theyre so real. #before i was skeptical but the Evidence Is Stacking Up All Too Well. #might make a post about it bc there's. so much #scribble salad #laughingstock #barnaby x howdy #howdy x barnaby #ive been in the trenches for so long... so so long.... #AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE HERE. #im still so insane about them yall dont even KNOW #by the time this posts i will be At and In My New Job #may these sillies keep me going through the day...

[royalarchivist]

Luzu: Yeah, you know, I told people that I would happily make some dictionaries so that you guys have expressions to use, like you can have a book in your inventory that you open to have like basic Spanish stuff, I'm gonna mess his one, like his -

Phil: Oh yes, please.

Luzu: - book up, and I'm gonna make all like, have no meaning.

Phil: Please give him like, a - a silly book, a - give him a silly one.

Luzu: Yeah. How do I pronounce his name, Wilbur, or Wilb? Or Wil?

Phil: You got it right the first time! Yup, it's Wilbur.

Luzu: Oh yeah? Alright.

Phil: Yup yup! Or just Wil. Either - either works.

Luzu: I wanna have to find a way to, yeah, have a cold revenge. Like, he - he may be laughing today, and, "heehee, haha!" we did like this small joke, and in 20 days I'm gonna destroy everything that he loves in this server.

#Luzu #Philza #QSMP #Wilbur #Wilbur Soot #Phil #Everyone: Omg Luzu and Wilbur are gonna get along so well! #Me: Nah Wilbur's gonna assume Luzu's a nice harmless guy and he won't realize Luzu's actuall a Chaotic Bastard #Everyone: No that wont happen! #Today: *this happens* #Me: *stares directly at the camera* #There's a reason Luzu and Quackity are such good friends they're both the same flavor of kind but chaotic bastards #though Quackity is an UNHINGED chaotic bastard #Luzu and Phil's conversation was the best thing that happened today IMO #<-- is incredibly biased #FOR REAL THOUGH IF YOU DONT KNOW LUZU ALREADY YOU'LL LOVE HIM YOU'LL LOVE HIM SO MUCH #His lore is frickin INCREDIBLE and he's also just a sweet dude #and a bastard but a fun one #anyways for context: Wilbur told Luzu to teach his friends a ''silly British saying'' that was basically gloop gloop or whatever #(OK LAST CLIP FOR REAL more tomorrow)

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

wear headphones :)

Transcript:

As much as I'd love to witness more of your prowess, I'd very much like to have that body of yours.

Is that a strap-on?

Machine, I'll cover you in more than blood.

Fuck. *exhale* Shit. Fuck-God! mmmm-ohohoho. fuck. fuck. h-Harder, Machine. Mph! *whimper* Hah... Come on!

End transcription

Sorry for this. I promise this is the worst thing I'll ever post. Unless he somehow manages to do something worse.

I can't really provide the audio sources in a neat way because this is 6 clips stuck together.

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #gabv1el #WEAR HEADPHONES. PLEASE. PLS. SAVE YOURSELVES. #suggestive #<- if i use a 'stronger' tag than that im 99% sure the post gets shadowbanned from showing up in the tags? #never ask me for anything ever again. #why did he say any of this #i dont know. #surely this will make people unfollow #or will it do the opposite #at this point. i have no idea #animals. all of you. ANIMALS. its ok im one too. we're in hell (together) #i didnt make the gif im sorry all i know is that its from twitter #yeah sorry for the recycled audio. i only have the 2 whimper clips...... so far. #but the actual talking parts are all new #i want to see that angel obliterated. send tweet. #smiles. evilly. #i dont know about you guys but im normal #anyway #if he somehow ever finds out about this blog im krilling all of u............. pls............ #he cant know we are farming clips #(mostly joking) but yeah id prefer if this didnt spread past tumblr pls omg #we are past 700 followers now. idk what to say other than. wow. #ok surely no one is reading to this point. bottom gabe real. canon. true. thanks. #lets never speak of this again

[stealingpotatoes]

hands you all this cal to announce i’ve FINALLY finished fallen order (by which i mean i finally picked it up again after those couple hours i played a few months ago and then finished the whole game in 2 days lol)

#cal kestis #bd 1 #jedi fallen order #jfo #star wars #my doods #anyway HOLY CRAP YOU MEAN STAR WARS WAS ALLOWED TO BE GOOD BEFORE ANDOR (2022-)??????????????? AND I DIDNT KNOW?? #i love cal i loved the story i love how cinematic and amazing it looked good lord #i don't think i've ever played a game which gets such an amazing sense of scale across #like all the great temples or fallen starships were just Wow #like bracca ALONE gobsmacked me. seeing all these things i grew up watching in tcw as wreckage was like Ough Wow and THEY FELT SO HUGE #im just. wow!! #and THAT FINAL MISSION HUH. MOST FEAR INSPIRING VIDEOGAME ENCOUNTER EVER #my only criticisms are the awkward navigation/ level design in some areas and maybe the ending felt a bit lackluster somehow #i say somehow bc i dont get how lol #the reason im making this post past midnight is bc i got off work at 10pm and then immediately had to finish it LOL #anyway big heart emojis im very happy i sat down and actually played it finally #i want jedi survivor now LOL unfortunately it costs money and i have a rule i never buy games in release year lol #tbh i never rlly buy games til they're £20 or less