#and then i go home and go on my computer and learn that i dont experience any of that actually

[canidaezy]

how do transmascs not want to kill themselves all the time honestly

#i experience transphobia and hardship in my daily life #and then i go home and go on my computer and learn that i dont experience any of that actually #im just pretending. and i shouldnt talk about it because im just a fake trans #who wishes his experiences could even measure up to a crumb of what real trans people (women) have to go through #ok cool. #testosterone is a controlled substance did you know that. my state is actively making it harder for people my age to access hrt #but i guess since im transmasc i dont actually have to worry about any of that! im fine! #i didnt have a 3 month time limit before it would be illegal for me to access hrt! im transmasc im too privileged to worry about that! #transphobia #transandrophobia

[piplupod]

shoutout to the time i thought juggalos were just a random type of clown in the same way rodeo and pierrot is, and I off-handedly mentioned them in a conversation about clowns to one of my DQ managers when I worked there, and she fucking lost her mind laughing and I was like. damn. I didn't think my joke was THAT funny but okay. and then I never looked up what a juggalo actually was until just last year, like four years after I'd stopped working at that place 🧍

#when u dont have internet access very often u don't use ur small bits of time to look things up #esp when u dont have any unmonitored internet access fjdkdl #i was scared to look things up at school and i couldnt look up very much on the home computer #and my mobile had net nanny installed on it lmfao it was set for like... 12 yr olds #NOW GRANTED. I ACTUALLY DID MANAGE TO BREAK NET NANNY ON MY OWN COMPUTER. u have to move some files around inside the program files #and then u can basically break and un-break it as u please #so i could have it on to keep up the charade that i had it installed and it was monitoring and reporting my good boy usage #but then when i wanted to do stuff like... go on tumblr. or look up slang or whatever fhdkdl i could break the program #until i was done and then fix it so it'd go back to normal #this didnt help v much though bc i couldnt lug my laptop to school v often #and i wasnt allowed internet at home fhfkdl unless I was using my mother's laptop for looking up piano music LOL #eventually i also figured out how to break the program on my phone too but that one was more luck than anything else i think #anyways. all this surveillance made me good with tech stuff but im not Good w tech djdkdl i just know how to look things up #and i learned a bit how the backend of programs work or weird tricks for hidden folders and stuff on laptops #hey why tf am i rambling abt this in the tags fjkdl I've lost the plot #anyways good morning everyone please look up words that u may not know the meaning of before u use them #i do this too often now fhfjld. i have to look up words that i DO 100% know the meaning of just to make sure i dont have it wrong somehow #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[phantomqueen]

frequent headaches? #justgirlythings

#im giving it another week before i go to my doctor #gonna get more sleep; more exercise; try to reduce screen time in case its just eyestrain #ive been at home a lot more lately staring at my phone/computer & not as active as i used to be #im also supposed to get my period soon so it might be pms headaches? i get bad pms depression so why not severe pms headaches 🤷🏻‍♀️ #andddd i learned yesterday my grandma & mom also had chronic frequent headaches. soooo genetics? #dont mind me im just rambling about health! #my brain is just trying to escape containment i think #SINUSES. my sinuses hate the cold. maybe theyre rebelling

[transgaysex]

biggest fool on earth

#wind howls #my stupid ass thought act 2 started after i pass thru the mountain pass. it does not. #it seems im a ways away still....... sigh............ #well. its 8 am and im tired. so i will sleep. and perhaps someday i will reach act 2 proper. #my foolish self thought maybe i could finish the game before i start college again. but i think 2 weeks wont be enough #not at the rate im going at the very least.... sigh #well. ill do the most i can. and try to spill my time as little as possible once classes start if it comes to that #i really dont wanna relive the rush i went thru this past finals season. that sucked so hard even if part of it were the strikes too #at least the strikes seem to have been resolved afaik. so hopefully the teavhers will start getting paid proper #and maybe this means well get even better equipment in our classes someday... thatd be really really nice #best case scenario would be the school paying our adobe licenses so i can use the programs at home for free- #instead of only paying those programs for the school computers instead... thatd be nice #oh my god im drawinf a blank. whats the probPREMIERE PRO #premiere pro. i have to learn to crack premiere pro. bc im not fucking paying for that. but i like the ui. and my usage is simple #but vsdc sucks shit... #theres the other free one i could use also. the . well i forgot the name. i tired before but i got confused but #now that i got an editing class proper... i think i could manage it a lot better. im sure of it. #either way its super late or really early and both spell sleep for me. so sleep i will.

[alienroboticwritings]

Hi! Can I request a TFP!Ratchet x Gn!human reader one-shot, maybe the reader got hurt and tried to brush off their injuries to Ratchet but he didn’t let them?

A/n: omfg live for Ratchet content, we love the medic. You didn’t specify what injury so I’m going to do what happened to me recently, I fell down the stairs and dislocated my knee. :) Ratchet is also their guardian.

Warnings; typos, injuries, DONT RELOCATE DISLOCATIONS ON YOUR OWN, get medical help don’t be stupid like me, I think that’s all.

Paring: Tfp Ratchet x gn! Human! reader

Please Tell Me Things

“What is wrong? What happened?”

Ratchet questioned, his blue optics noticing you were favoring one leg over the other as you limped up the top of the stairs. He noticed the discomfort when he picked you up from your home in vehicle mode, struggling to even get inside him, but he didn’t pry yet. Now that he was tired of waiting for you to tell him, he wanted to know now. As you turned your head to look at your guardian, his optics narrowed as soon as you looked at him, to show he wasn’t messing around. You knew that look all too well; it wasn’t the first time he used it on you.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing serious.”

You lied as you attempted to limp toward the couch to rest your leg, but you were quickly cut off by Ratchet’s protest, his servo reaching out to carefully grab you. Holding you gently as he walked over to a medical berth and sat you down. Rolling your eyes, you attempted to stand up, which was quickly stopped by the grumpy medic.

“Yip pip! No, sit down until I’m sure you really are fine.”

He scolded you, gently placing his giant servo on your shoulder to stop you from moving. Giving you a short glare, he pulled his hand away and, using the scanner on his arm, ran the blue light across your body. Carefully watching for signs of injury, which he quickly found once the scanner hit your knee, where it turned red, alerting Ratchet of your pain.

“What do we have here?”

The old medic questioned you as he leaned down slightly, his hand coming up to try and grab your pant leg so he could get a better look.

“Ratchet stop! Really I am fine!”

You quickly snapped back, your small hands landed on his large metal one in attempt to push him away or at there very least stop him, but you little fleshy hands didn’t bother him. Only lightly swatting them away as he glared at you, his blue optics narrowing as he looked over your face. Noticing the pain in your eyes, Ratchet gave a deep hum and carefully pulled your pant leg up past your knee. Nearly double taking at the sight; your knee was swollen and severely discolored with bruises. Blinking once… twice… then three times, his mouth hanging slightly open in surprise. You were trying to hide this serve injury from him? Absolutely not.

Your hands gripped the yellow railing, trying to steady yourself as the giant robot held your fragile leg in his hand. Clearly deep in thought, debating how he should handle your injury. While he wasn’t the best at human health care, he did learn a little when he was assigned to be your guardian. You didn’t look at him, embarrassed or ashamed he had caught your lie. E/C focused on the metal platform below you, as the silence felt heavy.

“What happened?”

Ratchet questioned as he carefully scooped you up, holding your surprisingly gentle as he carried you over to the medical berth so he could treat you. As you you down on the berth that was way larger then you, he stood for a moment to admire how little you were… it was adorable. Quickly he turned to his computer, already researching what he needed to do. Sighing heavily you retold the story to Ratchet; yesterday you fell down the stairs of your college and dislocated your knee but you managed to relocate yourself. You had dislocated your knee before so you didn’t see a reason to go get medical treatment when you could handle it yourself.

The medic stopped typing to stare at you, giving you the dumbest look he ever has given somebody before. Scoffing he rolled her eyes, walking to the medical kit June she given him. It took him a few tries to grab what he wanted, due to his larger digits. Which was rather amusing to watch but once he grabbed the instant cold compress. He walked back over and handed it to you, a stern look on his face.

“Crush this and place it on your knee, you aren’t moving for awhile so get comfortable.”

Ratchet explained, ignoring your groan of protest as he sat beside you on the berth. His blue optics focused on your knee as you iced it, feeling a pang of guilt in his spark for what happened. He wasn’t with you one time and you got hurt, what’s worse is you hid it from him. His own mind began to spiral as he debated what reason you could possibly hide such a significant injury from him. He knew he wasn’t the warmest but was they the reason? He deeply cared about you, even if he didn’t show it often. Turning his attention back to you, his expression looked sadder then you ever seen before.

“Please tell me these things.”

#TFP ratchet #transformers prime #transformers prime x reader #tfp ratchet x reader #Transformers prime ratchet x reader #ratchet x reader #transformers ratchet x reader #transformers ratchet

[wildglitch]

Spider-man x Batfam Prompt's

Ok so lately I have seen a lot of "Spidy goes to gotham and gets adopted fics" probably cause of Dark Matter by mysterycyclone cause like, duh, that fic is a goddamn masterpiece. But I feel like a lot of them are sort of the same thing with diffrent fonts ans it feels a bit saturated. Not all of them...but most of them.

Am I saying that there needs to be less of these fics? Hell no! Keep writing them please. I just feel like there could be more variety is all.

I suggest maybe try one of these ideas out

1: Peter going straight to the Batfam or other heros (dosent always have to be Batfam) and they try to work together on how to get him home, while slowly realizing "omg, your life is terrible! We want to help you, we do, but maybe we shouldnt and try to give you a better life here. Then its just a moral delema on what to do as they get to know the spider child.

2: maybe another Spider-man is the one that goes to Hotham like Andrew or Toby. Insted of being sent home at the end of NWH, they where accidentally sent to the DCU. Or maybe one of the Spider verse characters or a cartoon version of the character. Dosent always need to be Toms Spider-man.

3: on that same note. Please give more love to What If...Zombies Peter. You guys have no Idea the amount of angst and "haha, my world ended and im fine" potental there is. And you can have the other surviving member also be there as they look for eachother (characters that "survived* (no one survived that episode) are Peter, King T'challa, Scott Lang+cape, and Ig Bruce Baner/Hulk, and Bucky Barnes since we never saw them get turned or eaten) just think about Spidey and the Batfam investigating a lab or sometbing and all of a sudden they find floating head Scott in a crate. Everyone if scared shitless while Peter is crying tires of joy as he moves to hug the floating head. Think about that and tell me Im not on to something here.

4: Have the fic start our like halfway through. Maybe skip him getting to Gotham and have him be there for a few months already or something. This will help with adding more crack fics.

5: Maybe have the fic be that Peter is there for a while, he knows everyone, they know him, they might or might not know the identitys but they trust eachother. And Peter has been looking for a way home and he finally finds it! But... he accidentally brings some of the Batfam with him. So now its the Batfams turn to learn to live in the MCU with help of Spidy and they finally understand so much about him, how he lived, and vigilanties he knows (team red!) As they learn the history and pubilc opinion or Spider-man and the world.

6: Just a react to fic. Yk, those fics where they're stuffed in a room and forced to watch something? Yeah. Have the Dark Matter cast stuffed in a room and watch some MCU clips. It dosent even have to be some magic forth wall bull shit if you dont like that. In chapter 44, Peter and co. are said to be going back to the cave, and Peter still have is suit. Canonically, Karen records everything. Maybe Peter ends up so tired he dosent even want to try to explain everything. So he just hooks up Karen to the computer and and has her show them everything from the suits recordings to security cameras and news reports, to the memes and videos spiderman fans have made.

7: have the Justice League get involed cause "Hes to bright to be one of yours Bruce!" And have him be a honorary member of the league of have them put him on Young Justice. Peter gets adopted by Batfam? Yes. Peter becomeing Bffs with the Young Justice kids and actually forming normal relationships with kids his age? Also yes.

Do I have more? Probably but Im too lazy for it rn

If you for some reason use one of my ideas, pls tag me and maybe credit me for the original idea (but I mostly want to be able to find the fic if you do make it ( o_o) )

Who knows, I might just write some of these myself if I ever get the motivation lol

#writing prompt #fanfic writers #fanfic #spider man #batfam #marvel mcu #mcu #dcu #dc universe #peter parker #dark matter #crossover #crossover fic #fic ideas #please #I have had some on these ideas in my head for so long now TvT #send asks

[onskepa]

DJ'Oxtang: Rhythm of sound.

Hiiiiiii, so this is for the anon that requested:

Anon: What about the sully kids x human reader who does beatbox or trap. Like, they are in awe at how fast she can sing or the sounds she can make.

I tried to get this be its own thing, but I was having a a hard time. So I thought it would make more sense if oxtang was capable of doing more. Also if it is ok with you anon, I stayed with beatboxing. So, hopefully this turns out good! Enjoy!

DJ in the house! , Hot feet

----------------

It has been weeks since the amazing DJ party. And the young na'vi crave for another. But for originality, it takes time and patience. Something Oxtang has learned time and time again. She once again experiments sounds. Trying more remixes, testing and checking sounds the human machines make, from scanners, the pods, computers. Oxtang samples everything.

But its hard when it is so limited.

Next best thing, create sounds from her own body.

The sully kids were enjoying another day of adventure. Going into the vast forest of their home to find anything really. As usualy, lo'ak took lead with no real purpose of where to go. Just going with whats most safe-ish.

Tuk was just waving a random stick, playing some game with spider and neteyam. "Why cant I go to the next party?" she whines on with a cute pout. Kiri playfully tugs on her small ear, "you are too young and small to join. Besides, mom will skin us if she knows we brought you to the parties".

Tuk only pouted more but ran to catch up with lo'ak. Spider and neteyam walks beside kiri. "Did oxtang say when the next party is?" neteyam asks spider. The boy shakes his head, "not really, but she has been playing and practicing different types of sounds" spider replies.

"Maybe she is making a new set of music for the party" lo'ak suggests. Would make sense, repeating the same thing would get boring.

"Whatever it is, I know it will be amazing" neteyam adds with a excited smile on his face. Oxtang is extremally creative. It is impossible for her to run out of ideas.

"I have run out of ideas" oxtang says flatly.

The sully kids looked at her with shock and surprise. "How? You are a musician! How can you run out of ideas??" lo'ak speaks, still taking in the information. Oxtang shrugs, "same way as you can run out of arrows, beads, water, I just dont have many ideas at the moment".

"What have you done so far?" neteyam asks.

"Well I didnt want to reuse some of the music i made, it would be a dead give away. I hate repeats. I am trying to create sounds organically by beatboxing" oxtang explains.

But that only made everyone tilt their heads in confusion. "Beatboxing?" tuk repeats.

"What is that?" spider asks.

"Beatboxing is making unique sounds with my vocal chords, tongue and teeth, its different form singing. Like how you guys try to mimic animal sounds. I try to mimic sound effects". Oxtang explains.

"Oooooohhhh" the kids all said in unison.

Neteyam leans a bit closer, "can you show us?" he asks. Blinking a bit, oxtang smiles, "sure!".

Clearing her throat, she covers her mouth in a cup like gesture. Taking a deep breathe, she begins to beatbox.

So many sounds Oxtang was producing. It was like 5 different vocals at once! The sully kids were so intrigued. "Woa...." spider says in awe. Oh he definitely wants to learn how to beatbox now.

The sounds coming from oxtang ranged from short and loud, to long and rising with tension. It came out very similar to the sounds she makes with the audio mixers.

The rhythm of the sounds were very hypnotizing, pulling everyone in. Oxtang looked down at her hands, concentrated in her breathing to bring out the sounds her body is capable of. And by the end of it, she gasps a bit but raises her hands up in pride.

"Tada~!!"

The kids were quick to give her a well deserving applause. "That is awesome! How do you it" spider asks. "Well, a lot of practice and learning how to breathe correctly. Your voice is a lot deeper than mine so I think you can reach deeper tones if you try" oxtang replies. This gives not only spider, but lo'ak and tuk inspiration to try.

"Bzzz....BZZZZSTT!!" tuk tries, creating whatever sound she can come up with on the spit. Everyone smiles at her cute sounds. "Youg make it look so easy!" tuk says to oxtang.

The human girl smiles and ruffles the youngest sully's head. "Just a lot of practice". Kiri widens her eyes a bit, getting an idea. "Do you have a microphone or something to speak in loud volume?" kiri asks. Oxtang tilts her head slight, "I do actually, a head seat that I can use to speak in long range, why?".

Kiri scratches her chin a bit, "Well, if you are having a hard time with creating something. Why not 'beatbox'? You are creating your own sound and not really repeating". Everyone looked at kiri, taking in the idea.

"That could work" lo'ak says. "Yeah, it might, that means more practice and a lot of water. Yeah I can see where this can go". Feeling more ampt, New ideas surge in oxtang's mind. Perhaps a new party isnt so far in the future.

Aaaaaaaaand that is it for this one! Sorry if it was short, hopefully this is good enough to satisfy everyone! Until next time! See ya!

#avatar #avatar the way of water #na'vi x reader #na'vi avatar #avatar 2 #na'vi x human #lo'ak #kiri #lo'ak x reader #tuk x reader #tuk sully #spider x y/n #spider x reader #spider x kiri #kiri x y/n #kiri x reader #kiri x you #neteyam x reader

[princesssmars]

the idea of introducing monet to video games is so cute to me.

like let's say because of her parents words she always thought it was childish, preferring to spend her time time shopping, making connections, or managing her social medias.

but then during summer (in quarantine, no less), she gets a bad cold. her parents buy her the best medicine they can buy along with the help of one of new york's best pediatricians, but the guy just says she needs to "focus on relaxing." sure, whatever.

at week one she's bored out of her mind, and manages to guilt trip you into coming over so she doesn't start banging her head against the wall. when you come inside she starts to regret it because you have that look on your face that says "i'm going to make you do something and you're not gonna be able to say no to me."

you set your macbook on her lap before sitting at the end of her bed, dodging her hand that tries yo tug yours to sit next to her. "here, the solution to your boredom."

her eyebrow raises. "a computer? i'm dying in my room and you get the bright idea to give me a computer."

"dont act catty, i was about to explain," you admonish her while scooting until your side by side, choosing not to tease her when she visibly relaxes, "today you are going to join normal teens around the world and do what most of them do when they're bored."

"make fun of up and coming influencers on instagram?"

"no, you're going to play some games."

at first she is completely over it and this close to literally kicking you out of her bed, but you came all this way and look genuinely excited to show this to her, so she gives you a chance. just this one time.

she unseriously complains while you boot up the computer and open minecraft. and she rolls her eyes so hard she can feel her headache getting worse. you load up your world and she has to admit it looks gorgeous, what you later tell her are shaders making everything look almost cinematic.

you set the computer in between the two of you, guiding her as she moves your character around the village you built. she's tempted to kill one of your farm animals but quickly turns around when you give her a death stare.

for the next few hours you show her the basics of the game, helping her learn how to mine, how to build a cute little house, and how to farm. she won't admit it but by the time she finished building her own home she's completely relaxed, not even noticing that you dozed off on her shoulder.

over the next few days you play more games, ranging from cute slow paced ones like stardew valley and slime rancher to action packed ones like call of duty and gta. she loves bullying people over voice chat and laughs so hard when she gets suspended she nearly passes out.

she orders a switch a week later and quickly becomes obsessed with breath of the wild. the world is so pretty and she likes exploring it. she invites aki to play and he spam messages her "wtaf" when she kicks his yoshi's ass as princess zelda.

you both share a world in new horizons and if you confront her about leaving flowers in your house she will deny it until she dies.

#gossip girl reboot #gossip girl #gossip girl x reader #gossip girl reboot x reader #monet de haan #monet de haan x reader #gossip girl revival #monet #monet x reader

[autisticlee]

I often think about how many nonspeaking autistic people get treated like they are unintelligent, incapable of thought or learning, and will never be able to communicate, from the time they are time children. so many parents of autistic kids and even "professionals" base their intelligence and/or ability to learn and communicate on their ability to speak. it's so sad to see.

I always think about how many autistic kids might never get the chance to communicate because their judgemental parents don't try to teach them basic things or give them an alternative form of communication. so many "autism parents" seem to think if their child doesn't speak, or has impared speech, that means they are incapable of using or understanding words.

i'm sure there's a lot of autistic people who do have that disability, not being able to learn or understand words at all and therefore unable to learn communication methods i mention. but how many can learn to understand just fine and have the ability to communicate with other means that isn't physically speaking, but are never taught any language or communication skills? how many could use alternate communication if given the chance? what if instead of speaking for their child because their child can't physically speak, the parents taught them how to write, how to type on a phone/computer, how to use sign language, or use AAC device? (whichever they are able/most comfortable with) how many are denied that chance, treated like they are "stupid" and can't understand anything anyone says to them, but they understand it all and just can't communicate that to anyone?

I imagine it feels like being trapped. so much to say, but unable. people speaking for and over you, going against your wants and needs, deciding everything for you because you can't make words come out of your mouth, and they didn't give you another way to make words.

i'm semi-speaking, if that's the correct way to refer to myself? I can speak when i'm not overloaded. when i'm too overwhelmed and go into shutdown mode, i'm unable to speak at all even if i really want to. i mainly only speak to close family/friends when at home and have great difficulty trying to speak outside of home and with people i dont know well. it took me almost 2 years to be able to minimally speak to the staff at a place i volunteer every week, and still have trouble asking questions or even saying hell/goodbye. but on a good day, if I try really hard, I can say a few sentences! if i'm completely comfortable and in a stable or familiar environment, I can have "normal" conversation. though, talking exhausts me so I still can't do it for extended periods and prefer not to. I prefer to listen. I get tired and overwhelmed a lot faster if I have to speak a lot, especially when i'm not at home and in an overwhelming environment.

I know it's VRRY different from nonspeakers, but just from the experiences I had as a kid, I can kind of try to imagine how frustrating it may be for the ones who may be denied the chance to communicate: as a kid, school overwhelmed and overloaded me to the point where just the noisy school bus in the mornings caused a shutdown that lasted all day. I would be unable to speak at school at all and beat myself up over it because I could not get words out. I would try, but I was physically unable to produce sounds in the form of words. sometimes I could make a squeak sound or one word out of a whole sentence. if I did manage to get words out, it was too quiet or slurred and no one could hear or understand me. I couldn't answer anyone 99% of the time at school (or anywhere else that overwhelmed me)

people did and said things I couldn't respond to. my needs were denied. people decided things for me. other kids bullied me, the teachers bullied me, they acted like I couldn't understand them sometimes and treated me like a baby. I would sometimes write responses in a notebook or on a paper. i've had my responses torn up and thrown away by other kids and teachers. getting told to speak instead. it was so frustrating, isolating, and dehumanizing.

but there were rare times I could speak. this made them even more insistent about trying to force me to speak and was always told I was doing it on purpose (and they eventually made me believe it! I couldn't figure out why I couldn't stop choosing to do it! i had so much to say and didn't know why i could not say any of it!) trying to make me speak became a game for them. if I did say a word, they treated me like a baby or a dog doing a command. they would act like they won a game. it felt so dehumanizing like I was a circus act. they called me a scary freak and I felt like one... evenrually I learned I'm autistic and that's what's causing it, that sensory overload, overwhelmed, and stress cause me to lose my speech ability, that it's not my fault. i'm still not sure if I'm doing better now because I learned I'm autistic and can regulate it better and avoid triggers that lead to shutdown, or it's because i'm not in school anymore and spend most of my time at home where I control my environment and needs.

but I feel like that whole experience as a kid gave me a very small taste of what I imagine some nonspeakers experience. it makes me think about the ones denied a communication outlet a lot 😭 they must feel so isolated and frustrated and might not ever get or got the chance to tell anyone about it. we might never get to hear about their experiences and what they feel and go through.

even ones who are given an outlet and taught language and alternate form of communication like typing or AAC, or whatever they need, and are still treated poorly just because they are unable to physically speak or communicate...I think about you too and hope you're able to do well and keep going. I think you're doing great and i'm proud of you 💜 I haven't been able to find many posts online from nonspeakers, so if you want to share your stories, I will listen. you can write a post or find posts already made and send it to me and I will read!

#autistic #autism #actually autistic #autism things #nonspeaking #nonspeaking autistic #lee rambles #this is kind of like how english speakers (maybe others do too but this is my experience) treat people who arent fluent or have an accent #while speaking english as “stupid” and question their intelligence. i hate it so much!!!! #stop equating speech to intelligence level because it doesnt prove anything!!!!

[blueberry-writer]

hiyaaa sjdjdjf dont mind me keeping requesting for the doa, i really like them and your headcanons <3

I'd like to request platonic headcanons for nikolai, fyodor, and sigma like interacting with/reacting to learning that nikolai had a kid sister (the reader)

Notes:heyy! :D It’s okey, i love writing requests for the doa! Anyway.. i founded this request so cute!💙 Oh and sorry if i’m late, I had to post your request last night but then came the bsd trailer and I couldn’t resist the temptation to watch it and make me simp about the fact that Nikolai was finally animated!😥i mean, NIKOLAI IS SO GOD DAMN FINE. 😩🙏

TW/CONTENT: sfw, fem!reader, Fyodor and Sigma interacting with the reader as nikolai young sister, platonic ‘relationship’

Sigma

at first he was quite surprised that Nikolai could have a younger sister

If it wasn’t for Nikolai talking about you all the time, he probably wouldn’t have even suspected he had a little sister

The first time you met was a bit..particular:Nikolai had a night mission with Fyodor and just didn’t want to leave you home alone. God forbid anything bad ever happens to you... or you mess something or someone up, without him. I believe in Nikolai and his little sister creating problems together supremacy

Now a quiz! Guess who was the only reliable person Nikolai could trust at that moment to leave his lovely little sister in his hands? That’s right! Sigma.

At first Sigma was not inclined to babysit you but in one way or another Nikolai convinced him

One has to admit that at first there was embarrassment, Sigma is not very good with children.

'I am the menager of a major casino, not a babysitter! I swear as soon as I see Nikolai- '

".... Oh- hem-...  Do you want cookies?." That was the first sentence he said to you after a strangely awkward moments of silence.

The situation is improving little by little. Go from monosyllabic answers to answers with whole sentences, laughter, and a few lines.

You spent the night getting Sigma to teach you how to play cards and to hear stories from Sigma about his, Nikolai’s and Fyodor’s missions.

As soon as you fell asleep sigma’s heart melted, you were so pretty!!

He can’t believe that a lovely little girl like you is related to an annoying, crazy guy like Nikolai

Once the mission ended, of course, Nikolai came back to pick you up early in the morning. You were still sleeping, so he used his cape as a blanket and picked you up

Sigma was kind of sad to let you go and not even say goodbye

"As soon as she wakes up, tell her I said hello, okey?"

Since that morning, he’s offered to babysit you every time Nikolai had a night mission to do.

Let’s also say that, after that night, you also started winning several times when you and your brother played cards

Fyodor

This man is always informed, so he would probably already know about you before Nikolai even told him about you

Every once in a while, he would ask of you just to start a conversation with Kolia: "So, how is your little sister?" Thanks to Nikolai’s gab, he found out things about you that he wasn’t even interested in knowing truthfully, but hey, better more information than less

He never planned to meet you but ops! one day Nikolai had urgent things to do and Fyodor was the only one available, even if against his initial will, to take care of you:

"Hey Dos-kun! Listen, I have an urgent duty, can you watch my little sister while I’m gone?"

"Nikolai, I don’t have t-"

"Thank you, I knew I could count on you Dos-kun!! take care of Y/N byeee!"

And that’s how you were left alone with Fyodor.

At the beginning there was an unnerving silence, the only noise that was heard was that of Fyodor’s fingers writing on the computer keyboard

At first you were silent, without making any noise, after all Fyodor can have a threatening aura from time to time.

After a while, however, you remembered that he was your brother’s dearest friend, your young infant brain thought to make friends with him

You started asking them questions with a fairly confident voice

Fyodor was a little surprised, usually children are afraid of him, why with you is different? but then he remembered that after all you’re related to Nikolai

After starting a decent conversation with you he realized that he would not be able to continue his work if you kept talking to him, so he decided to put the pc aside for a moment

He was strangely happy that a child is not afraid of him

He was surprised when after he smiled at you, you smiled back and didn’t cry or tremble with fear

When you started asking questions about his work, however, he had to stop you, better that a child does not know these things: "I will tell you when you are older mh?"

When you asked him about his bookstore and what kind of books they were, he was more than happy to explain it to you.

You spent the rest of your time with him reading you a book while you listened to him with admiration and attention. (childhood crush??🤔)

But then your brother came back for you

You were sad, at least you wanted Fyodor to finish reading the story!

Unfortunately, Nikolai said that he was so tired and that you had to go home.

You took Nikolai’s hand as you walked away from Fyodor "Bye-bye." You greeted him with a sad tone of voice

"Ow sunshine, so you make me feel guilty though!" Nikolai said to you being a drama queen.

"Don’t worry, Nikolai, I’ll finish reading the story next time we meet," Fyodor replied

'next time'? so there will be a next time!! You were so happy to hear those words!

You turned to Fyodor: "S-so, are we friends now Mr. Dostoevskij?"

"Of course we are malýshka, and please call me Fyodor." He answered, crouching at your height and stroking your head

Aw, you were so happy and adorable in that moment, even Fyodor’s heart could have melted!😭

Nikolai in all this was amazed at how the situation had evolved between the two of you- it almost seemed that you 'loved' Fyodor more than him:

"i’m sorry Dos-kun but she’s my sister.😁💢"

"I know, I was just waving"

"Then can you try not to steal her from me? You know, I could commit a homicide-"

"Nikolai! not in front of the child."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ That's it! i hope you liked it!💙💙

sooo,i made a pt.2 of this! here 💙

#bsd anime #bsd fyodor #bsd nikolai gogol #bsd sigma #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd manga #blueberry writer #sfw #platonic relationships

[evilmagician430]

concept art/character design for an acachalla centric horror story i've been brainstorming since last school year ^_^ still havent finalized any of these designs, i feel like they need a little more tweaking...

WARNING: blood, body horror, the mangled corpse of a dead animal, guns, crowbars, medical equipment and general medical imagery, and all around just weird and gross stuff

ADDITIONAL WARNING: really fucking long

story and images under the cut:

i imagine the premise is that sue, at the police station, gets a call from the acachallas like in canon. she decides to go to their house to help, alone because her coworkers are all busy/hate her (theyve been in the force long enough to go corrupt while sue still tries to do whats right)

when she goes in she discovers that the acachallas have been dead for like 10 years and their bodies are barely even intact. she also notices that their house is trashed, not only does it seem completely reclaimed by nature, covered in fungus and insects and blood, but a lot of their furniture and appliances are missing. their rooms look like theyre missing all that wouldve signaled the character of whomever inhabited it, and she thinks, well, maybe the house was looted after they died, but that doesn't explain who called...

then she accidentally steps in a pile of fungus. which wasnt there before. she turns around and a man, fully formed, has sprouted out of the ground. he is made almost entirely out of mushrooms and he has 2 shotguns for arms. he tells her to leave his house. she starts to run but then another figure stops her. a very tall woman who speaks in the same voice that called the police department. her form is indiscernible in the dark, but soon sue comes to realize this woman is not human.

she's not even alive.

sue meets the others and, sure enough, they all seem to be amalgamations of various household objects, both inorganic and organic matter, forming crude fascimiles of who they once were. there are 5 bodies and 5 of them, so they must be possessed by the immortal spirits of the acachallas...!

of course, it turns out they never needed help. it was merely a trap to lure sue home.

they accept her and care for her far more than her biological family or "friends" at work ever did. but being with them takes a toll on sue's body. eventually she dies and they build a new body for her. she wakes up as a beautiful monster. she wakes up as herself.

you're going to notice none of these drawings are of sue- that's because she's still just a regular human in this. by the end she might become a horrifying monster like the rest of them, but i havent designed her.

i took inspiration from a variety of sources, but i can only remember some of them off the top of my head:

undertale (lorewise the whole thing about monsters dust being spread on their favorite object so they can live in it, also photoshop flowey designwise was a huge inspiration)

deltarune (largely just the enemy designs)

dont hug me i'm scared (the teacher's designs, general vibes, also lamp's explanation of what happens when someone dies in episode 2 of the tv show)

tipping point (literally just stylistically. i need to learn digital collage to properly portray these designs)

tokusatsu (the costumes for the gorma in gosei sentai dairanger are like. really good. i enjoy their designs severely)

communications era ghost and pals mvs (the collage stuff speaks to my soul)

and thats all i can remember rn. now heres the first pictures i drew of each member of the family (on my world history notes) and the most recent draft of their designs (in mspaint) this is basically all of the drawings of them.

beginning with spencer, he's the smallest of the family at only 4 feet tall. he is made out of his computer and manga collection basically. on each of these i left a lot of notes in the pictures breaking down what each part of the body is made out of. i wanted to incorporate figurines and action figures into his design too but i decided to keep it more focused. but all these designs are still subject to change. a teacher walked by as i was drawing him and said she liked how it was "very industrial but feminine" or something like that.

sally! im not entirely sure what that first sketch is but as you can tell i wanted her to be wearing a doll mask from the start. i gave her this big poofy princess dress to conceal where godzilla connects to the shelves that act as her legs because it looked very strange and did not look like the shelves were her legs. the dress turns into curtains which are draped over her shelves. she was very hard to design but very fun. also i just chose random dolls and stuff i know g3 draculaura and kylie and pnp sasha are like recent dolls that wouldnt exist yet. its a mockup ok

next we got billy who is built out of his own medical supplies. i wanted to make his body one of those IV drip stands, although that means both him and spencer have very similar lower halves, with the wheels. hes the only one who doesnt really wear any clothes because billy doesnt really have an iconic outfit; the only thing i remember he wears is obviously his medic outfit but thats like. a whole outfit. i dont understand the layers of it so i can just put part of it on this thing. maybe i shouldve just given him scrubs. or what i think billy would wear that represents him

gertrude having a dead cat as her hair is a reference to a really specific one-off joke i read about on the wiki but dont actually remember from any of the videos. i think hair is a very important part of self expression so they would want to recreate their hairstyles with whatever they could find. it was hard as hell getting that cat into a shape that made literally any sense but i think i figured it out. her outfit is a combination of what she normally wore and her old costume as the crowbar, which i was inspired to design my version of as well (will post that drawing later). i think its very interesting how gertrude seems to exist to trap and keep safe or detain/kill various dangerous beings. shes like a shepherd but also an executioner.

papa acachalla doesnt have a draft cause this was literally the first time i tried drawing him in this story because i was stuck on trying to imagine what hed be made out of and how he would look like. then i remembered fungus comes in all shapes and forms and also works as a metaphor for his connection with his family and his roots. also his arms are guns LOL! i wanted to make him more catholic but i couldnt come up with how while still having him look like papa acachalla. maybe adding that priest collar cause i think father grigori has it anyways but its hard to draw stuff around his neck area.

#venturiantale #taleblr #evilmartin430.txt #images that are horrid to see and look at #dont ask me where jeremy and maxwell and maddie and the extended family fit into this... idk enough about them to design them as monsters #also maddie isnt really a family member. unless you think shes really gertrude's sister #concept art #character design #horror #body horror #horror story #horror au #acachalla house of horrors #<== tag specifically for stuff pertaining to this story #mspaint #sue acachalla #spencer acachalla #sally acachalla #billy acachalla #gertrude acachalla #papa acachalla #campy horror #<== the vibe im going for #if this was a live action thing itd definitely use practical effects and #the costumes (?) would be insane #imagine building them in real #aoughhhh #ok done screaming

[flowery-manipulations]

My self-pitying post

I do not know how to better name this post, but this seems most accurate. Because I understand that I made a wrong turn somewhere, and it led me here. My life isn't in shambles, but I feel like it is. So here's my sob story: I am not the victim, but someone who could've done better and can do better and just needs to let this out into the world somewhere. It may make someone feel better about themselves. Someone may relate. Someone may make fun of me. It is what it is. To summarise, I'm giving myself an ultimatum before I give up living: only go through with it if I cannot improve my life until my 21st birthday in August.

Just a heads up, thia is rambly and some parts dont relate to the main issue. I just let the words flow.

I was a bright child. I loved math and computers. I still do, in theory. My family immigrated to the UK when I was 9/10. I didn't speak any of the language. So, as it was expected, I didn't learn anything in my first year of school. The tutor the school gave me to learn English didn't help me at all and would get angry and yell at me when I didn't understand a word she was telling me- she showed no pictures and did not speak my native language, so I had no idea what word she wanted me to understand. The kids were no better. I did not understand it then, but they only spoke to me to bully or make fun of me. I don't know whether it was a blessing or a curse that I did not realise then. But I did understand when, on separate occasions, different boys tried to assault me when I went to the classroom to get something during breaks or at the park outside of school. And how the girls who bullied me would block my exit.

I had to fight past them to leave. Only one or two students at the school were genuinely kind- ironic for a Christian school. As such, in my perpetual loneliness, I spent the lessons drawing and my breaks reading in my native tongue. The only lessons that brought me joy were maths. I was ahead of the class due to my interest and my mother's tutoring at home. By the time they reached fractions, I had been memorising the Pythagoras theorem. Since math was going well, no one cared that I was failing Spanish (and in secondary, I was made to learn French, so that was a slight loss).

In secondary, I was in the top set for maths and the bottom set for everything else- but only for a short time. I had begun consuming English books, and my mum made me read them aloud to memorise the words. I remember one instance clearly when I had two copies of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone in front of me- one in Polish and one in English- and I was going through them page by page to grasp the context. It's not the best learning method, but it's a core memory for me. In year eight, I moved up to second set; by year 9, I was top set in everything. I also made some real friends. I had 4 I could call my closest and many others that weren't as close, but I still enjoyed their company. Little did I know that only one would stick by my side all these years. Two dropped me in year 9 with no explanation, and one just stopped texting back after sixth form. I joined clubs, became a prefect, and had two job experiences by year 11. It was going great. For my GCSEs, I convinced my head of year to let me take computer science instead of French since the school wanted everyone to take a language. I also wanted to do Drama, but the choice was between Art and Drama, and my mum decided art would be more beneficial. Considering that the subject made me hate drawing for years, while my love for the performing arts persisted, I would disagree, and my mum eventually conceded that she should've let me study it after I kept buying tickets out of my allowance to watch plays on the West End.

I passed my GCSEs with flying colours. And my first A-level that year- Polish, having done the GCSE for it a year prior.

At A-levels, it all went downhill. I barely passed maths. I would blame COVID, but I would game through the online classes, so I am more to blame than a virus. I did alright in Physics and well in computer science and psychology. But that's when my tearful phone calls started after my exams. My mum would stress out after each call as I began going frantic and anxious over every exam answer. My best friend stuck with me through countless nervous breakdowns and anxiety attacks. I love her more than anything and hope I can pay her back for all she did and endured because of my frail emotional state. She was the only one who knew I was having thoughts of ending it all, the first to know I was bisexual and that I wanted to leave the church. I think she was the only thing keeping me alive, my closest confidant, my sister from another womb.

University started on a high note. We were still in quarantine, so there were only a few opportunities to make friends. I paid little attention to all the content of the lectures as I had covered it in A-Level. I did really well in the first year. It's too bad that it doesn't contribute to my grade. In my personal life, I was working out and building soft skills to help me develop myself.

Year two rolled in with languish or undiagnosed depression. I do not know; I can't afford a diagnosis and would have to wait years to get one through the NHS. I did some volunteering but stopped after an older man stalked me and kept harassing me while I was helping out at a science fair for children. Another volunteer noticed and helped me out, but after reporting the man to the venue, we found out he had done this before to other women and to forgive him because he is autistic. Which was no excuse, but I was too shaken to fight. That year, I failed one module and only passed another by a percentage, still calling my mum in tears after each exam. I stopped showering regularly. And barely brushed my teeth.

Now, here we are. Semester 1 of my third year came and went. I attended a few meetings for the societies I'm in. One module failed utterly, and waiting for the results of the other two (but I'm not hopeful). I am behind on my dissertation work (which is meant to include a technical aspect), barely taking care of myself, six hours away from my only friend, with no romance in sight and wanting to just disappear from the world. I still love computer science and math in theory but can't bring myself to study them. I can't drop out as I won't be able to afford to return to my studies. I hoping to scrape a 2:1 for my final grade, but that will require near-perfect grades this semester.

I do not know how to proceed. I won't drop out, but it all seems impossible. I don't know if I will end it all. I might, I might not. I will wait 6 months, though, until my 21st birthday. Maybe I'll figure something out. Perhaps I will be able to do the integrated masters my course includes. Maybe I will barely pass and have to get experience to do the master's and the PhD I so desire. I will let you know what will happen when the 19th of August rolls around. I will try to exist to the best of my ability.

After all, the last time I gave myself six months was when I was 15. And I'm still here.

#vent #burn out #ex gifted kid #tw: passive suicidal thoughts #tw: mention of harrassment/assult #sob story #blog #tw: thoughts of suicide #tw: plans of ending it all

[iheartemmy]

Kurt Bilzerian x fem! reader (smut)

(After teaching kurt how to kiss, you decided to teach kurt more than kissing, your parents are outta town leaving you to invite him over, if you ask me why i like him, i heart dumb men, plus his voice 😩 plus mona will be ur hormone monster) and were RIDIN. WE WANNA RIDE WE WANNA RIDE!

“hey kurt!” you said as he closed his locker, “oh hey babe, whats up?” he said as he put his arm around your neck, “i was wondering if you’d like to come over to my place?” you said as you both started walking to class, “sure, but uh, what about your parents” he asks, “theyre outta town, and plus we’ll be alone” you said rubbing his chest.

“oh yeah, pshh, us alone, after school right?” he asks, “you know it” you chuckled, you gave him a quick kiss, then going in your class.

TIME SKIP.

“Hey babe” kurt says, “hey kurt, ready to head to my place?” you said, “uaha, you know it babe” kurt said rubbing his neck, “Don’t be nervous kurt, but anyways will your mom let you come over?” you said, “yeah, she won’t care” kurt says.

“well thats good, luckily my house is kinda close to our school” you said walking with kurt.

Time skip to your house

“this is my house, we can just head up stairs to my room” you said pointing up stairs, “uh yeah sure” kurt says. you lead him in your room, as he sat down on ur bed, you got kinda nervous, “here i’ll get us some drinks, you can just wait here!” you said, “alright babe” kurt says.

you went down stairs to get some water, then seeing someone going thru your cabinet, “ah what the hell!” you said, “oh hey y/n!” jay said, “jay what are you doing here!” you loudly whispered, “i went over to nicks house to see if he had any chips, and well, he didn’t, you have some good chips y/n!” jay said as he was munching on some chips.

you sighed, as you grabbed two water bottles from the fridge, “hey how comes kurts here? he usually just goes home and watches some Tv, loud tv..” jay said, “oh well, we just wanted to hang! but anyways i should head upstairs, you brother’s probably wondering what the hell I’m taking so long!” you said smiling.

“oh yeah i totally i understand, but i think i might go, i forgot i was invited to hang with nick and a drew” jay says.

“alright J, have fun” you said, going back upstairs.

“sorry i took too long” you said, as kurt was watching a movie on your computer, “oh its alright babe” kurt says, you sat next kurt, as you placed down the two water bottles, as he wrapped his arm around your waist, as he chuckles.

you gave kurt a kiss, as you held his face, he kissed back, leaving you two in a makeout. as you got on top of him, still kissing him.

“wow kurt, you’re good at kissing” You sais lying on top of him, as he rubbed your back, “well I’m pretty good at stuff” kurt says.

“well should we go a little further~” you said running your finger down his chest. “oh like uh” kurt stumbled, “yes kurt” you sat up, while still sitting on him, “oh uh, sure but..” kurt started, “i’m kinda a..” kurt stumbled, “its fine kurt, i can teach you” you said.

you started kissing kurt again, as he kissed you back you took off his hat, and placed it on the side of the bed, “yes dear, now ride him! and then go back and help your horny-ness dear!” mona said laying back on the bed with her legs open.

you waved off mona, while still making out with kurt, “learned my lesson dear, i’ll be sitting back here, while looking at my feed on my phone” mona said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“so do we start?” you asked rubbing your neck, “yes start y/n, blow him!” mona yelled, “i mean, if you wanna, i’m down..” kurt said awkwardly, “y/n what are you doing! ask to blow him!!” mona yelled, “if you don’t blow him, i’m gonna burn my self, and frame you for the murder! and never mind i sound like that other horny fuck maury.” mona said.

“how would you want me to make you feel good?..” you asked, “well i mean i would maybe like a uhh” kurt mumbled, “kurt its our first time, dont be shy” you said, “i’m into blowjobs?…” kurt said shyly, “fuck yes dear, say yes!” mona said, you sighed, “okay, i’ll do it” you said, “oh shit really? i mean thats great, but if you really don’t want to!” kurt.

“i mean you are hard as fuck~”you said seductively, “damn right baby, and you are the reason i am~” kurt said, you got off kurt so he could then take off his pants. kurt had then unzipped his pants, then throwing his pants on the ground leaving him in his boxers.

you blushed at the sight of his bludge, “oh he’s huge, like a eggplant, but bigger!” mona said, “you’re about to give a blowjob y/n, remember to lick the tip, most sensitive part of the penis!” mona said, “mona shush!” you said, “oh- oh! wow!” you said while blushing, mona was distracting you, kurts boxers were off, “what is it bad?-“ “no no no, i just didn’t expect you to be big!” you said.

“okay i’m gonna blow him mona” you said to mona, “remember what i told you y/n, tip sensitive, go slow, then he might make you blow harder!” mona said.

“okay i’m ready” you said, “oh uh alright” kurt mumbled, you lowered your mouth on too his dick, slowly going down on him, “ah fuck!” kurt said, while stroking your head, “remember y/n, the tip!” mona said, you then lick the tip a bit, as kurt grunted more, “gah! fuck!” kurt grunted out.

Kurt then pushed you down more on him, which made you gagged a little, but you handled it.

“ah fuck! i’m gonna cum!” kurt grunted loudly, kurt then came, came deep in your throat, you removed your mouth from his dick, as you coughed up a bit.

“good job y/n, now this man kurt, i believe you should ride him, ride him! ride him!” mona said jumping up and down. “fuck y/n you can give good ass blowjobs!” kurt said panting, you rubbed kurts dick, “how about i ride you~” you said, ‘what the fuck is up with me!’ you thought, “oh uh, okay” kurt says, you took off your, pants/skirt/shorts/ect, then your panties, then getting on top on him, his dick was standing up, so it was already easy.

“ready?” you said, he nodded, you then lowered down on him, “ooh!~ thats aha! in!~” you moaned out, “ugh~” kurt grunted, you started going up and down on him slowly, you tighten around him, “gah~ fuck y/n!~ kurt said in a raspy deep voice.

“bounce on him y/n, you started going on birth control, let his jizz go inside you!” mona said.

you started bouncing on his dick faster, “gAh~” kurt grunted out, you held onto kurt, while putting your hands behind his back, but your hands on his shoulder, “jesus kurt, ugh!~” you said, bouncing faster, “fuck fuck!~ y/n~ i’m gonna ugh~” kurt said holding you closer towards his chest, “ah~ kurt!~ cum inside me, i’m on birth control!” you moaned out, you bounced on his faster, “now let the storm come out!” mona said.

kurt had then came inside deep in you, as you moaned/choked out, “bingo love, time for a cigarette!” mona said.

“oh wow..” you said, as you got off his dick, “that was awesome y/n..” kurt said, as you both still held eachother for a while.

you then let go of him, then grabbing a water bottles, “thirsty?” you said, “aha, you know it”, he said giving you a quick kiss.

bonus

“dont you think it feels wrong going into somebody’s house, that we dont know” Andrew said panicking, “yeah its pretty weird jay..” nick said, “look guys, y/n is cool, and plus you guys are my buddies, she won’t mind!” jay said, as he grabbed more snacks, “look im just grabbing snacks, then we can leave!” jay said.

“hey i don’t wanna freak you out, but i heard some screaming upstairs!” Andrew said freaking, “oh uhm, hey jay is this y/n even here?..” nick said, “oh yeah and my brother kurt” jay said, “wait whys your brother kurt even here” nick said.

“oh well, kurt and y/n dated a month ago, and y/n said they were hanging out, i think they were watching a horror movie!” jay said, “anyways lets go, i wanna go to the park!” jay said rushing out the door.

nick and Andrew exchanges looks, “let’s just go before her or kurt comes down..” nick said rushing out, “yeah i a-agree” andrew said rushing out the door with nick.

“i can’t believe kurt has a girlfriend” Andrew said, “honestly i thought he was gonna end up alone, like no offense” nick said.

“cmon guys!” jay yelled.

#big mouth #x reader #my fic #kurt bilzerian x reader #kurt bilzerian #jay bilzerian #big mouth smut #smut #kurt bilzerian x reader smut #i #heart #kurt #idc #what #yall #say

[metroid-fusion]

I AM TRYING TO IDENTIFY A MEME MASHUP FROM 2018 (or earlier)

aka the mreligion_set01 post

in 2018 someone i knew sent me a song someone they knew made. it was a 12 minute long meme mashup and it was really impressive. ive had this file on my computer for 5 years and ive listened to it so much but the problem is that i have no idea who the fuck made it or whether it's ever been posted online anywhere. i may very well be one of the only people thats ever heard this song. PLEASE try and help me identify it.

unfortunately. i am NOT going to post it here. because it is not mine and i cannot properly give credit. HOWEVER i am going to post a TRACKLIST because it is a distinctive tracklist that will help in identifying it.

this thing is 12 minutes 10 seconds, or maybe 12 minutes and 9 seconds. it's MAYBE associated with siivagunner somehow because it has siivagunner memes in it. i dont know all the songs in it but i listed the majority of them

track list IN ORDER below the cut (sorry for inserting opinions into it i just really like this mashup)

snow halation casin by glue70 (reposted in the wrong neighborhood) we are number one all star boulevard of broken dreams gary come home from spongebob shelter porter robinson accidentally in love from shrek 2 679 by fetty wap closer chainsmokers in the air tonight witchcraft by pendulum live and learn numb linkin park one week barenaked ladies zedd clarity Vagrant Counting Song of Retrospection from Kirby Planet Robobot (THIS SONG IS THE BASE FOR SIIVAGUNNER REBOOTED) ocean man take on me blurred lines by robin thicke welcome to the black parade the man by aloe blacc smooth we are number one bonetrousle purple lamborghini from suicide squad [this bridge dates this song heavily] waters of nazareth chip da ripper freestyle with interior crocodile alligator sample of joel saying "GRAND DAD. FLEENTSTONES?" dk rap down with the sickness ghostbusters crank that soulja boy gangnam style i play pokemon go every day (pg song for kids) by misha the nutshack [end of bridge] reeses puffs rap (on top of waters of nazareth) let the bodies hit the floor cruel angel's thesis uptown funk YMCA village people wild wild west will smith rhythm heaven ringside (POSEA FOR THE FANS) tunak tunak tun kahoot theme gentleman psy pen pineapple apple pen feel good inc gorillaz nutshack theme boombastic by shaggy panda swimming pools drank by kendrick lamar forever by drake et al goodbye to a world porter robinson [editors note. this part of this mashup is really fucking good. i need to find out who made this shit because it rules so hard] shooting stars bag raiders, snow halation, carry on my wayward son. 21 guns green day lord of the game death grips ignition remix r kelly cinema (skrillex or whoever) i dont care charli xcx scatman CAAAAAAARRY OOOOOONNN of welcome to the black parade TAAAAAAKE ONNNNN MEEEEEEE space oddity by davie bowie through the fire and flames dragonforce king of carrot flowers part 2 by neutral milk hotel spider-man 2 pizza theme mamma mia abba [reprise of a bunch of songs from the intro <3<3<3] fireflies by owl city

NOTABLE: THIS MASHUP DOES NOT HAVE MEGALOVANIA IN IT

&so with that i say please find this mashup and send it to me and listen to it

#this post might b a little silly but thats ok #a511ff #mashup #siivagunner #silvagunner #<-people in these tags will be more likely to know how to look for this shit

[lazulian-devil]

Antoinette Burgund or the story of how I as a Sims Player actually laughed out loud in exasperation several times because holy fuck, this was a bad idea but also weirdly funny?

Let me tell you the story of my latest Sims 3 Adventure (its wild, my dudes):

We start out with a single mother, whos running away from her abusive boyfriend and therefore has:

- no money

- no skills (thats because she just spawned in)

- no connections

- no qualifications (my rule was, that she could only get a parttime job once she reached Lvl 5 in a skill and a full time job once her baby is a Teenager, because at that point, she should have enough "references" that she could take a lowlevel job. She was also not allowed to take any job that payed more than 30 Simoleons an hour at entry level).

Her name is Antoinette Burgund and she looks somewhat like there were fairies in her line, but she wasnt blessed with that particular gift. She and her son get set to 0 Familyfunds via cheat and then we start.

Her goal in Life? Learning all recipes. As a woman that constantly hungers, such luxuries fill her dreams.

She moves into a new neighbourhood and its hell. Her kid is constantly hungry, shes constantly tired, neither of them can sleep. She spends most of her time in the library to learn some essential skills (and because there are benches and computers) or at the gym, for showering. At some point, she realises there are dumpsters behind the gym but I - the Player - foolishly decide that she still has too much pride and try managing without.

This last about half an in game week of hunger and constant exhaustion (this is the first time I had a Sim with wishes like "buy a stove" or "buy a shower". Very immersive!) before she dumpster dives with a crying baby behind her in the parking lot. Luckily for her, she actually finds good stuff that she can sell via "eBay" and therefore can finally buy a crib and a sleeping bag. From learning gardening at the library, she also has slowly fruiting tomatoes and grapes.

Though she is constantly hungry anyways. With a combination of fishing, gardening and dumpster diving, she eventually manages to buy a 4*4 "shed", with a toilet, outside shower, etc. Its... Not going well. She cant buy her toddler much to play with, making him reliant on weird gifted doll that occupies all his time. And her diet consists of apples, tomatoes and the occasional dining experience. Mostly stealing from public picknick stuff though.

When Julian grows up, Antoinette leaves him to his own devices while she tries to provide for him. They barely talk, as her shift follows right after his schoolday and by the time she gets home, he tends to be asleep.

But she always puts food in the fridge for him and when he wishes for something, she makes it possible. Julian is an artistic child, so she signs him up for after school ballet classes and gets him an easel to paint with.

At some point, while Julian is at home and Antoinette is in the library at night, she decides to marry into a wealthy family. Shes pretty enough and charming, so she starts online dating and actually matches with someone she knows to be rich. Even though it feels wrong, she knows that her boy wont have a good future when the tax payment takes about a fifth of what they have. Adding to the shed is expensive, her fruit dont sell for much and her job makes her around 100 Simoleons per day.

And she would do anything for her boy. Trying to set up a meeting is denied several times, but the rich man (someone by the name of Van Ghoul) and her text and he seems nice enough. One day, she decides to just visit his house and is practically marveled at the size of it. She also learns why her phone boyfriend isnt meeting up with her: Hes married. So much so that his adult son opens the door. Adult and very much single.

Also, a vampire. But after everything shes been through, why shouldnt she have immortality? She deserves the power. She deserves the strength.

So she seduces his son, a man that barely knows hardship. Who drives a car that costs more than she ever had in her life. He is nice though. Incredibly so. He doesnt complain about being taken out to cheap dinner or going to free places. Hes a good man, all things concidered.

Then it happens. Antoinette asked him out after she got a promotion. Hes ecstatic and takes her out to the feygardens, Antoinettes favourite place. They walk and talk (and woohoo) in the Aboreum. Its perfect. She wants to propose then and there, ask him to move in, meet her boy.

But, as they walk outside, a meteor strikes both of them dead. He dies, in an instant. Antoinette does too. But death is so amused by her constant misfortune, that he lets her live.

The meteor also turns out to be worth a fortune, enough for her to upgrade the shed into a small house.

[This was by far the funniest part of the playthrough, it was so unexpected].

Broken, grieving and utterly convinced that life just hates her, she goes to a bar. Everything was looking up, her boyfriend loved her, they wanted to marry. Her son was having good grades despite everything and even made some friends!

She walks into the bar, confused and worried and all kinds of messed up. The barman, for some reason, is immediately smitten with her. She doesnt know it yet, but the man that buys her a drink and makes her laugh about everything is also rich. She wont know for quite some time more. She doesnt really care.

Joe McDuff calls her again and again and over the years, while her boy becomes a Teenager, she falls for him. Hard.

Julian now goes to artclass after school, becoming a magnificent painter. All the time she spent playing xylophon with him have put the music into his soul and he gets more and more artsy as the years go by.

Eventually, Joe tells her everything: He doesnt have a job, all his money comes from his dad, he doesnt have a fancy car or anything else, but he loves her. So much. He would marry her right now.

And they do. With only the Player and her son as witness, Joe and Antoinette marry in front of the shed, mid summer, and he leaves his home and family behind. They call, worried, but Joe promises them a party once everything is settled and they reluctantly let him go.

He doesnt bring much money, but its enough to add a few rooms to the house and give Julian his own room. They even buy a computer and as a gift to his stepson, Joe gets him a guitar.

It turns out that Joe has absolutely no skills whatsoever, but hes a sincere man that left the comfort of his home for the love of his life. They'll make it work.

[He is useless. I lobe him, but he is such a spoiled child. Also he wants to become an Athlete, so making him jog everywhere is weirdly funny to me]

Not too long after that, Antoinette is pregnant and the family party needs to be canceled in favor of the new baby: Cesare. Born on the night of Julians prom. He comes home late, gets arrested and scolded by his mother and put to house arrest.

Yup. Poor Julian.

This was a wild fucking ride and it was so much fun. I sincerely never struggled this hard to keep them alive and well, and it was the most fun Ive had in a while with Sims 3! Cant wait to get back to the idiots.

(Also, play with unlucky Sims. Its fantastic).

#the sims 3 #the sims ultimate collection #sims 3 #antoinette burgund #my sims

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen!

Im 20y and a lesbian that loves lesbian history and im just wondering about that Era that you lived as a lesbian: the 80's and e the 70's.

There was so many lesbian magazines, zines, activism....i spend hours of my days reading online the Lavender Menace magazine and Sinister Wisdom, its just so amazing to me that lesbians created a fundation of their our culture, language and lifestyle at the time. So my question is, how was it back then compared to today since we dont have the same kind of community, we have barely 5 lesbian bars in the whole US and our activism is fragmented almost non existent? Especially since lesbophobia or oppresion on homossexuals did not end and we still face it.

Thanks, and I love your blog.

I was lucky enough to come out in a place, Iowa City, where lesbians were well organized and active. Iowa City was the home of a Women's Press printing group that formed under the idea that "We coudn't get it printed so we learned how to print". That press was disbanded in 1985 but it's legacy lived on. My lesbian community was broad and diverse and welcoming. They had a history of working together even if they weren't old enough or active in the political side of things in the early 80's. The foundation of lesbians (women) working together was built and we stood on that solid ground. 

I was never a big reader of lesbian history. I preferred to experience it in life, to hear the stories from the other lesbians in my community or at festival or wherever I could corner some woman to tell her about her life. But sometimes now I read over the older pamphlets and news letters and every time it renews my passion to pass on lesbian culuture and positivity to others. I see the importance of keeping papers and not relying on computer documents and only oral, unrecorded stories. 

What used to be the University of Iowa Lesbian archives is now housed under the LGBTQIA archives but you can still seach “lesbian” and they curators/volunteers (at least one of which is a butch lesbians ;) )are happy to email you images to read. You can look for entire collections and almost all are digitized or in the process. Through that archive you aill find new places to search. They have   tiktok as well. 

https://lgbtqiowa.org/history-by-letter/history-by-letter-1-iowa-city-womens-press/

Most universities have some sort of lesbian archive in their special collections. They are a great place to start for local lesbian history. And they are more than happy to share. Some even offer free lectures if you want to organize the space (public library) and do some advertising. 

www.LConline.org is Lesbian Connection. You can subscribe for about 35.00 or free to lesbians is you can’t afford to pay. They often sell back issues. 

Now that you have some new sources. Heres how it was for me when I came out in 1993, just out of college to years and living in Iowa City which was often called the Gayest town in Iowa. A sort of gay and lesbian bubble in a state not known for diversity. 

We have a gay club, in every major city. Des Moines with several, Iowa City, Cedar Rapids, the Qaud Cities and Waterloo/Cedar Falls. We have an unofficial lesbian club ( a bar owned by lesbians, close enough) in Iowa City. We were all in our early to late 20′s and so going out and dancing/drinking was sort of a go to for us. We had lesbian pool, dart. softball, volleyball (my favorite) and kickball leagues. Only lesbians. There were gay men leagues as well and we sometimes played each other for fun. There were also mixed groups for those who wanted to play on multiple nights or wanted that space. We had a BLAST!  After (and often during games) we shared beer and laughter, meals and snacks. 

The bars that hosted us were mostly straight and we brought income and activitiy so we had no push back and were often invited to new ones. The volleyball and softball fields gave us equpment to use and sometimes a business, like a bar or restaurant would give us t shirts. If we wore those shirts around we sometimes got discounts. What a grand time we had! 

As we got older going out or playing sports and practicing 2 or 3 nights a week became more difficult. Jobs, kids, home ownership and priorities shifted. Instead my friend group had monthly potlucks or meeting at a restaurant. The lesbian bar burned down and was not rebuilt so we took to camp fires at each others homes or meals at diners on Saturday morning. 

Women’s Festivals became an important part of my life and that of my lesbian friends. I started going in 1994 when introduced by my first girlfriend and friend group. In the later years, when we were not as active locally due to life being busy, we would spend time planning and prepping for that 7 to 10 day camping in a state 7 hours away. We would gather with a purpose and eat and drink and talk about memories and what fun we will have on vacation.  Those 7 days camping at a women’s festival gave us the down time to hang out and renew our friendships. Time to talk and laugh and dance and catch up without the world in the way. Without that women’s festival being the steady, predictable place for us to meet I am not sure our friend group would still be strong like it is. 

Now we meet to talk about the “old days” over food or campfires. We zoomed over covid realizing how much we missed each other and how life had gotten in the way. Since then we try harder to make time. We are getting back to festivals and bring new, young lesbians on board to experience what was life changing to us. To ME.  We work together (my boss and her wife and my first ex are all friends from my coming out days). We MAKE time to eat out or camp or just sit in lawn chairs in back yards. 

This is my lesbian experience. And I wish all lesbians could land in the lap of such a strong group of women like I did. NOT that there was not drama LOL. Of course there were exes and breakups and disagreements but when someone needed time she knew she could take it and we would keep inviting. No one was shamed for “never coming” because we all knew not joining in now did not mean she would not want to come back in the future. 

When the world gets too much and i look in my DM’s or on line and see younger or newly out older lesbians suffering from distress caused by isolation or the current political envirnonment or lack of lesbian role models I go to my friends and talk and listen and get hugs. They ultimately give me hope and I take that out into the world. 

We are finding each other and the key is to translate on line community to in person community. Three lesbians getting coffee and forming a friendship is better than 20 lesbians meeting on line although both are better than no lesbians connecting. The adivice I always give and stand firm on is get to a womens or lesbian festvial. You will not regret it. It will change your life and give you life long friendships. 

#lesbian #80's and 90's #lesbian community