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arandomperson5647 · 8 months

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Encanto info from Jared Bush's Q&As

This is a little place where you can find (hopefully) a lot of info Jared has said in his Q&As. This is if you wanna check smth and don't wanna go on a hunt to confirm it since it's been so long. Idk if I got everything, I highly doubt I did, so if you have a piece of info I don't have and have a link to it, I can edit it on. Ngl I'm also kinda doing this for myself cuz I was curious to know everything he's told us. I'll mostly summarize the answer so it isn't longer than it needs to be, but I'll also copy+paste if I'm too lazy.

The info here kinda varies from interesting, to obvious stuff, to potentially pointless but really any of it can be used to do whatever.

Some of the answers he provided aren't concrete solid ("I think __ would happen", "I always thought ___", etc), so take this all with a grain of salt. I'll try to phrase the uncertain ones differently so you know they're not 100% (probably, possibly, might, etc). If the answer he gives is completely up to interpretation, then I won't include it. Some might be repeated cuz I don't feel like looking back to see if he answered the same question twice.

Just to warn you guys before you click "keep reading", this is a LONG post, so if you don't want it fill up your page, don't click it unless you really wanna read everything.

Antonio's Birthday Q&A #2 (5/21/23)

Canon universe:

Dolores never truly believed Bruno was still around. She heard stuff, but everyone told her he was gone, so she thought she was imagining things. "I knew he never left" was her way of saying "I shouldn't have doubted myself."

Antonio was a shy kid and animals are were easier for him to make friends with.

The potteries in Bruno's room were because it was fairly public for people who want visions, so they're probably a nod to that.

When Pedro went to the attackers when he died, he was planning to reason with them.

Luisa's associated with donkeys because they’re beasts of burden and that’s how everyone treated her.

Mirabel has her embroidery because she loves her family, but potentially also because she subconsciously want to make sure the villagers know despite having no gift she is every bit a Madrigal.

Isabela might potentially secretly like Pepa's chaos.

Julieta's really good at hiding her feelings about the pressure of being the town's healer, but she's also a naturally strong person.

There's a reason why Bruno's single but Jared didn't tell us.

Bruno's favorite food is Ajiaco, but potentially also big butt ants.

Julieta probably noticed Mirabel wasn't in the pic at Antonio's ceremony immediately after it was taken, but Mirabel had already left by then.

For a while, Bruno's limit for future seeing was until the fall of Castia, but now it's limitless.

Alma didn't necessarily approve of Agustín at first because he wasn't overly spectacular or confident.

Mirabel and Camilo got along well when they were young, but after Mirabel's ceremony, Camilo felt more pressure to perform and show off.

Even before his gift, Bruno probably worried and wondered about the future, which is what caused his gift.

The Madrigals mostly assumed Bruno had somehow left the Encanto after his disappearance.

The birth of the miracle happened near the turn of the 20th century, and Antonio's ceremony was 50 years later.

The 5th birthdays for the Madrigals is the big one. The others are "regular".

Camilo often annoys Isabela for fun and also because he's a bit envious of her. They're kinda opposite, perfect vs a clown.

The post-movie relationship between Mirabel and Isabela is probably mischevious.

Bruno probably already was breaking from pressure when Isabela was only in single digits.

Alma was loving to all her grandchildren, but sometimes it felt conditional due to her expectations. She wasn't self-aware enough to realize.

Félix can play the tiple, but not shown in the film.

Agustín and Félix probably wore their respective colors before marrying their respective wives. Their colors are also a nod to regionality.

Alma might've seen cracks before Mirabel saw them at Antonio's ceremony (not at the moment tho), giving her a reason to actually believe Mirabel and pray to Pedro.

Based off the book "Mystery in the Rainforest", Dolores and Mariano are engaged and planning a wedding soon.

There is a school in the Encanto, but since it's closed off and was formed in the beginning of the 20th century, new info would cease.

Pedro might've been the one to know sewing and embroidery. He taught it to Alma, who taught Julieta and Mirabel. She probably taught others but Mirabel did it the most.

Bruno's door might've started glowing again during his vision in Antonio's room because Mirabel is making him feel included in the family (and therefore Casita) again.

The Madrigals do have friends groups, just not shown.

Camilo's gift can be tiring. Like an actor playing their part.

Mirabel probably would've had a negative or even traumatic impact from the fall of Castia, mostly due to a near death experience.

The Madrigals have never tested their gifts beyond the Encanto, so it's still a mystery on what happens.

Antonio probably can talk to animals from different countries, not just Colombia.

Camilo sometimes tries to impress everyone with his gift.

Mirabel's birthday became "stressful" ever since her 5th.

Isabela would probably help Antonio decorate his room with crazy plants.

Behind the scenes:

5/21 is Afro-Colombian Day, which is why that's Antonio's bday.

There used to be a deleted scene of Mirabel getting grounded by Casita.

The Guzmans originally had the same number of family members as the Madrigals, and each member was like a doppelgänger of each gifted Madrigal child, except Mirabel, who was represented in the Guzman family by a goat.

There used to be a scene where Camilo's gift goes haywire at night or smth (can't figure out the full pic for this one).

Writers considered early on that Mirabel would want to leave, but they decided that from a character and cultural perspective, leaving her family would have been the absolute worst thing she could imagine.

It's never been established how long the ceremony doors appear before the ceremony, but 9 months has been considered.

Early versions would show that Alma had strict parents. It may or may not be true now, but it would make sense.

Mirabel used to have a gap in her teeth to show her quirkiness, but was removed because they wanted to show it in other ways.

Encanto Disney+ Hollywood Bowl Q&A (12/28/22)

Cannon universe:

Emotions can sometimes affect Bruno's visions.

Camilo often helped take care of babies even before Antonio's birth. He was just naturally good with them.

The stairs in Bruno's room probably grew as he became more distanced, so they probably lessened when Casita came back.

Luisa's favorite sister is probably Mirabel.

Camilo would probably sometimes be happy that Isabela found her true self, while also a bit jealous. It depends on the moment.

The Madrigals' reaction to someone entering the Encanto would probably be chaotic.

As a way to protect them, Alma was always a little strict on her family.

Julieta and Agustín often worried how Mirabel was doing, especially for Antonio's ceremony.

Alma tried to show she loved Mirabel in her own way after her ceremony and before the movie.

Camilo's experience being the only boy in the house for a while was...interesting. Not the easiest.

Pepa and Dolores' gifts have caused some difficulties between the two.

Especially post-movie, Bruno, Agustín and Félix would be a ridiculous trio.

The candle is now gone, but a new miracle took its place.

Félix and Mirabel have a good relationship, especially post-movie.

Isabela's 5th birthday was the first gift ceremony for the grandchildren.

Bruno was probably superstitious before moving in the walls.

Before the house fell, Alma probably wouldn't like Dolores marrying Mariano. After, she'd accept it.

The other Madrigals might have hidden potential in their gifts, much like Isabela did.

The townspeople mostly either put the Madrigals on a high pedestal or see them as equals.

Isa probably had at least one flower she'd intentionally give Mirabel allergies with.

Bruno was probably a bit popular at one point.

Adopted Madrigal kids that were 6+ would probably still get a gift.

Mirabel's near-sighted.

Camilo's probably gotten in trouble for his disguises at times.

Bruno's mostly a rat guy because he's around them the most.

Pepa has a sweet tooth but doesn't let her self have too much due to her weather.

Isabela can grow trees and crops.

There's no definite reason why Isa was the favorite grandchild, but being the eldest didn't help.

When Alma said "the magic is strong, and so are the drinks", she was really trying to get everyone back to the party.

The gifts can tire out the Madrigals if used a lot, sometimes physical pain can occur.

Alma might have siblings, but it's not confirmed.

Behind the scenes:

There used to be a scene of Mirabel getting grounded. Idk if it's the same scene as the previous one mentioned, but the context of the question might suggest otherwise. ("What would've happened to Mirabel if she was found after the dinner?")

There were versions in the end credits of everyone reuniting with Bruno.

There is potential for a Madrigal with OCD, autism, etc, but not yet confirmed.

Triplet's Birthday Q&A (8/17/23)

Cannon universe:

Bruno and the grandkids now watch telenovelas together.

Julieta's favorite food is probably ajiaco.

Mirabel's first word would potentially be "sita" because she loved Casita but couldn't say the full word.

Dolores' room has a lot of soundproofing.

The reason Mirabel seems to interact with Castia the most out of the Madrigals is because she was mostly an outsider, with only Casita to talk to.

Encanto is a hidden place, so simply finding it is near impossible.

There are respected town elders in Encanto, but Alma is considered the founder.

Pedro said something to Alma before he died, potentially in Spanish, but it's not confirmed what.

In terms of personality, Mirabel is the closest to Pedro.

For adoptive kids, Casita may be able to anticipate the arrival of someone new even before the family is consciously aware of it, giving them a new door.

Bruno's a fan of chocolate.

Mirabel loves every color. She has no known favorite.

Julieta got married first between her and Pepa.

Bruno's rats aren't sentient like humans, so Bruno would have to train them to do whatever.

It's possible another Madrigal felt resentment towards Bruno after he left.

Julieta's gift possibly only works with a combo of cooking and giving, but not confirmed.

Bruno learned how to use his gift through practice and invented customs. It was complicated.

Julieta probably needs to know the person's injury before healing it.

The majority of the Madrigals' dominate hands are right. Julieta and Antonio are left handed. Luisa is ambidextrous. It's unsure, but Mirabel is potentially left handed.

Mirabel's favorite food is arepa con queso.

Antonio's favorite snack is nailed rice.

Agustín and Félix have jobs in the town, but not confirmed what.

In a book, it was mentioned that Bruno was the golden child of the family. He probably fell from that position in his late teens.

Agustín's favorite meal from Julieta is chocolate santafereño.

Gifts can possibly be repeated, but not in the same generation.

The refugees/townspeople had brought everything from home they used to start farming when the Encanto formed.

Isabela and Mariano still have a good relationship after the movie. Neither were too wild about the engagement.

The bedrooms can change if their owner wants them to.

The gift ceremonies will now be different without a candle.

Madrigals still do the traditional quinceañera.

The Encanto doesn't have electricity.

Bruno has left the walls a few times for a break.

Isabela will probably keep switching up her outfit now that she can.

Luisa has always felt protective of Mirabel.

Behind the scenes:

Casita used to have shown that it has only 1 bathroom, which was located in the back right corner under Bruno's tower.

There was a deleted scene where Julieta yelled at Alma in front of the entire town after Mirabel went missing.

Julieta is the one singing w/ Mirabel during the "constellations glow/the seasons change in turn" lyric.

There used to be a version of Bruno using water with his vision.

The line said by Mirabel, "Even in our darkest moments there's light where you least expect it" was cut after Lin Manuel Miranda wrote Dos Oruguitas and the emotional thrust of Mirabel’s words needed to evolve to encompass what she’d just learned.

There was a Waiting on a Miracle reprise that was cut because they felt they didn't need it.

The concept of a new door appearing was considered to start with the doorknob.

No one intervened during Alma and Mirabel's argument because the writers felt that it was Mirabel's moment to shine.

VERY early on, Bruno (then known as Oscar) was Mirabel's estranged cousin.

Indestructibility was a gift they wanted to use. It was actually Pepa's original gift.

Dolores' Birthday Q&A (8/31/22)

Cannon universe:

People in Isabela's position wouldn't really have the chance to have authentic relationships because they're hiding their true self. This could potentially apply to Isa herself.

Before Mirabel's ceremony, her family was excited for her. After, the family’s ability to see Mirabel clearly was too obscured by their unhealthy dynamics but were probably unaware of that until Mirabel brought it to light.

Bruno's oversized clothing was by personal preference, potentially because of his awkward nature.

Before Isabela showed up in Bruno's vision, another person was there, who is possibly a young Alma. While not confirmed, it is implied in Jared's answer.

Félix and Agustín already had gifts, just not in a way that others could see.

Isabela lets herself break the rules, so while not confirmed, it's possible she could recreate mythical plants.

The town probably functions like a combination of where everyone came from.

The triplets used to have little meetings in Bruno's room when they were little.

Behind the scenes:

There used to be a scene where Bruno revealed he had a secret elevator in his room.

Agustín's Birthday Q&A (6/19/22)

Cannon universe:

Part of what fuels the miracle is unconditional love. When Mirabel and Isa showed that during What Else can I Do?, it affected the magic.

Julieta often gives people the food they like rather than something random.

For a long time, Isabela was the favorite grandchild for Alma. Before her ceremony, Mirabel was. After Casita's rebuild, many dynamics changed.

Agustín was born in the Encanto, but his family was from a city, so he was raised with the city-vibe.

Luisa's favorite food is bandeja paisa.

Every gift can be affected by emotions in some way.

Casita probably helped Bruno hide, but not confirmed.

If Mirabel and Bruno decided to leave the Encanto after Casita fell, the entire family would've fallen apart.

The only people in the Encanto were the ones who traveled with Alma. They all got there at the same time, no one got in or out.

Behind the scenes:

There used to be an exit for Bruno's wall room behind the family tree, but it wasn't used.

Antonio's Birthday Q&A (5/21/22)

Cannon universe:

Mirabel's canonically 5'2.

Mirabel has good relationships with Pepa and Félix. Félix loves everyone and likes hanging out with pretty much anybody. Pepa is a good tia, she’s just very emotional, but for most of the movie (and her life before) felt she had to bottle her emotions which only made them worse.

Bruno probably doesn't need the sand for visions, but as time went on he added his own superstitions.

The color of the magic in the end changed. It wasn't the color of the candle anymore, but the colors of Mirabel. What that means? No one knows.

Bruno "felt" his vision cave collapsing and investigated. That's how he knew it was destroyed.

Camilo couldn't really hold a form forever because of how tiring it could be.

Mirabel did have a quinceañera.

Casita has a mind of its own with its own emotions. Sometimes it could play pranks on the Madrigals or be too upset to move anything.

Behind the scenes:

Earlier versions had a negative dynamic between Mirabel and Camilo.

The gifts are based off family archetypes. Antonio is a shy kid but opens up to animals.

Random Q&A (3/19/22)

Cannon universe:

The main reason for Mirabel and Isa's falling out was because they couldn’t see the difficulties the other was experiencing, because they were fixated on their own struggles. They were probably closer when they were younger.

Despite being shy, Antonio does have friends in the town.

Due to the triplets' bday being the same day as Pedro's death, it's a mixed day.

Pepa can try to stop natural disasters, but doesn't usually succeed.

Mirabel would sometimes have sleepovers with her sisters when they were younger. There was a deleted scene showing it.

The pink cloud scene in Surface Pressure represents the stuff Luisa wanted to do without the pressure.

Behind the scenes:

Tbh there wasn't any answers that could qualify as behind the scenes sooo... 🤷

Stuff that didn't come from Q&As but is still good info

Madrigal Birthdays (I'm not doing a link for each, just take my word for it lol):

Félix: November 11 (11/11)

Julieta, Pepa, Bruno: October 17 (10/17)

Agustín: June 19 (6/19)

Isabela: August 7 (8/7)

Dolores: August 31 (8/31)

Luisa: November 14 (11/14)

Camilo: December 28 (12/28)

Mirabel: March 6 (3/6)

Antonio: May 21 (5/21)

Madrigal ages:

Alma: 75

Julieta, Pepa, Bruno: 50

Isabela: 21

Dolores: 21

Luisa: 19

Camilo: 15

Mirabel: 15

Antonio: 5

I don't believe the husbands' ages are confirmed, but Félix is confirmed to be a little older than the triplets, while Agustín is a little younger than the triplets.

Julieta is the oldest of the triplets, Pepa in the middle, and Bruno is the baby.

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crusty-chronicles · 7 months

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The Moon and Sun (Big Sib Reader x Gon/Killua)

Ch 14: A Protector's Failure

Synopsis: You recall everything that's led you up to this point. The good and bad, while the boys try their best to cope with your temporary absence.

An: This is a skipable chapter because I know some people can't stand a backstory chapter. But it does give some insight on our insert's actions.

Key: 🌑☀️🌑☀️=pov change from Y/n to the boys. 🌘🌘🌘🌘=Transition between Y/n's memories/present

-----------------

Rushed footsteps could be heard throughout the forest. The little pitter-patter reverberating off the trees. A child no more than five being the source of the sound. Pushing her body the fastest it could go.

Unawares of the unforeseen threat giving chase. Slowly closing in from above. All at once the being descended down on her, tackling the child down to the floor. The both of them tousling on the ground from the force.

"Got you Kari!" The being announced.

Another kid. This one a bit older with a prominent gap between their teeth.

"You're getting better, but still not fast enough," they continued before helping the other one up.

"You were cheating, Y/n! You used your nen!" The younger one whined out.

"Duh. You should've been using your nen too. You would've been able to sense me coming."

The older one playfully bumped the other's shoulder. Giggling at the way she turned her head and huffed.

"C'mon, we've been away long enough. Let's head back to the village before they start to get suspicious." Taking the smaller one's hand and starting to lead her away. But there was a small tug pulling them back.

"Do we have to go back right away? Can't we stay here a little longer?" It sounded hopeful from the small girl.

"You know how Fathe-," the older one shook their head. "You know how Reik gets. We can't keep him waiting."

But a feeling of dread lingered in the air. Something foreboding in it.

Almost like a warning.

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

You quickly jolted up. Breathing heavily as you came to. Catching your disheveled reflection in the puddle in front of you. (Having chosen a small cave to fall asleep in last night.)

That dream.

Why that one?

Why now?

You didn't want to see it. You didn't want to see her. You were already pushed past your limit, and now this? It was so frustrating you let out a scream. Your poor vocal cords straining once again, not yet fully healed.

God damnit.

Goddamn everything.

You forced yourself to calm down, remembering where you were. The NGL. You'd been here for about a week now. Only three more to go until you saw your boys again.

You didn't want to leave the boys behind, and part of you still wished you hadn't. That you had just stayed instead. But it really was for their own good.

You were no longer capable of keeping them safe. The altercation with the cat chimera ant had shown you that. You weren't good enough to protect them anymore. So it was decided you needed a safe place to train without distractions.

Without risking either one of them getting hurt.

And while that was your main reason for leaving so abruptly, it wasn't the only one. The blue hat tucked away in your pocket was another.

Kite.

You searched everywhere for him when you first got here. Tracking the faint trail of his aura all the way back to the place where you were attacked. Making sure to lower your heart rate in case that same ant detected you.

But all you found when you got there was blood. Caked and dried in splatters on the dirt. Too much for any living person to lose. You couldn't help but throw up at the sight.

Disgust and grief mixing together as you heaved up everything you had. There was no way he could've survived that. Even if he did manage to defeat that thing, he would've lost too much blood to just walk away.

And judging by the malicious aura barley in reach of your en, it was still out there.

You'd run away like a coward.

Like you always did.

And Kite paid the price for your selfishness.

You clutched his hat tightly as you recalled the sight. The little specs of blood on the brim were yours, but it may as well have been his from the way guilt seemed to consume you the longer you stared at it.

Another person you cared about dead because you wanted to protect your own life.

Maybe that was why you dreamt about her. A reminder that this wasn't the first time you'd run away so callously. Or maybe it was because of that stupid old man. Calling you by a name you'd long discarded, forcing you to remember the atrocities attached to it.

You didn't like remembering, but it was getting harder and harder to avoid doing so. You deserved to suffer, and maybe your mind decided torturing you with the past was the way to do it.

You shook your head to rid the thought. Now wasn't the time to feel sorry for yourself. You still had a long way to go before you were combat ready. Before you could stomach the sight of blood.

Although, you couldn't help but wonder how Gon and Killua were taking it.

You sincerely hoped they were doing fine without you.

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

The sound of glass shattering echoed throughout the small home, startling Gon awake. There was a splintering sound of something bigger hitting the floor. Followed by a few curses.

That definitely wasn't right.

He quickly got up and rushed towards the living room. Eyes widening as he identified the cause for all the commotion.

Killua.

And he looked very upset.

Raising up something else to break before Gon stopped him.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

The small assassin didn't answer, fearing that if he did, he would once again break down.

"Where's Y/n?" Gon tried again. Knowing that there was no way you wouldn't have gotten up to comfort Killua.

But despite his good intent, it seemed that wasn't the right thing to ask right now. Killua walked over to the table and sat down with his head in his hands. Letting out a shaky breath as he eyed the crumpled up note he found earlier.

The boy in green following his line of sight and picking up the note to read.

Dear my little moon and sun,

By the time you're reading this I'll have returned to the NGL. I truly am sorry to have left without saying a word, but I have my reasons. I need to work on my own skills and strength so that what happened with the cat chimera ant never happens again. It's something I need to do by myself, no matter how much it pains worries me to leave you two by yourselves. I know you two of you are dead set on proving yourselves through Netero's game, but I could care less for that old geezer's instructions. Nevertheless, I know you'll both succeed in taking those two other game pieces. That you'll both improve your skills drastically. I have complete faith in you, so when the month's over, I better see your faces cross the border! I'll be waiting until then.

Apologies, Y/n.

Oh.

He understood now.

Though he wasn't angry with you like Killua. Just disappointed that you'd once again chosen to do this by yourself. A hunch that you still didn't trust them. Seems his instincts had been right after all. He looked over towards his best friend, frowning at the defeated look he had.

"Why...Are we not enough for them to stay?" Killua's voice was quiet, a drastic change from his previous frustration.

Then his despair returned to anger. Hands clenching and body lightly shaking.

"Do they just hate us!?! Were we really that terrible that they decided to leave again!?! Damnit Y/n, why do you keep doing this!?!? Why do you keep running away!?!?" Frustrated tears now running down his face.

"Was yesterday just a cover up!?! All of it, just pretending like they weren't going to leave us!!!"

Because you'd been smiling so much yesterday.

Joking around, tucking them into bed, giving them a goodnight kiss. Was all of it just so they wouldn't have suspected anything?

'Your friends will leave you.'

No, not you. You were supposed to stay. You were supposed to be here right now. You were supposed to be his big sibling.

A hand on his shoulder stopped his frantic thoughts.

"They weren't faking. They probably didn't know how to tell us." Gon tried to explain. It was what he figured anyways.

Because you didn't have to comfort him last night. You didn't have to put him back to bed. And the way you hesitated when he caught you sneaking out.... Conflicted like you didn't really wanna leave.

How could any of that have been faked?

But Killua wasn't fully convinced yet.

"That's just the thing, they don't trust us enough to tell us anything! How do we know that this time they're telling the truth!?!"

It hurt.

Not being able to trust the one person that was supposed to keep him safe.

Did you really go back there to get stronger, or did you leave to find Kite?

Because clearly you seemed to prefer his company over theirs.

"Think about it," Gon started.

"Y/n said they're going back there to get stronger. Do you know what that means? It means they're gonna fight. And do you what that means?"

If you planned on fighting then...

"They're going to break their promise...to keep us safe." But was that really why?

Killua didn't know anymore.

"If they really did leave for good, then why would they leave a note? Y/n is waiting for us. They're counting on us to get stronger. I understand why you're upset, I wish they would've told us too. But if there's one thing Y/n isn't, it's someone who doesn't honor their word."

And for whatever reason, those words started to ease the doubts eating away at him.

"How are you so sure this time?"

"Killua, they almost died just to make sure we were okay first. How can you not be so sure?" It was stated as a matter of fact.

And now that he said it, Killua felt like an idiot.

Yesterday was just you trying to have one last good day before you left. You probably thought you wouldn't get another chance. That you might die in the NGL by yourself.

It was real.

And so was everything else before that.

"You're right.... But I still haven't forgiven them. They can't just keep leaving like this. It's-"

"Worrying. I know." Gon agreed.

"How do you think they're holding up?"

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

It was raining again.

Pouring down in endless buckets. And the first good rain of the year usually meant...

Today was officially your birthday.

You must've been 20 by now. Maybe 21. You don't really remember anymore. Not the official date anyways. But the one thing you did remember was that it always poured heavily, and you hated it.

You hated it for ruining your fun when you were a child, and you hated it now for stalling your training. Once again stuck in some small cave to avoid getting wet. Left with nothing but your thoughts to entertain you. How unfortunate that they kept drifting back to the one thing you didn't want to think about.

The Mizaki Clan.

Your 'family.'

You blamed Netero for bringing them up. You blamed yourself for continuously screwing up. You blamed the clan for putting you in this situation in the first place.

A part of you was grateful for what they gave you, at least during the early years. Another part of you respected them for the opportunities they've given so many. But the biggest part of you hated everything they stood for. The part of you that would never forgive them.

Fuck it.

You were tired of fighting the thoughts away.

Tired of repressing memories that would just come back twice as strong.

It didn't matter anymore. No one was here to see you break anyways. You could be weak if it was with yourself. Relying on your own comfort like you always had.

The Mizaki Clan, a clan of skilled hunters. The duties of each respective member being divided into three categories: Trapper, Tracker, and Trader.

Most were orphans who'd been found and taken in. Few had been outsiders married in. Even fewer were born into the clan. For all the shit they put you through, they were anything but discriminate when it came to accepting new members.

You were an orphan. The story goes, you were found in the backyard of an abandoned residence. The man who found you, Reik, was the current clan head. But at that time he'd barely taken over the reigns.

To you, Reik had been your father. And the truth was the same for others around your age. You'd believed he was a compassionate yet stern leader. Someone to be respected and loved at the same time.

Oh how wrong you were. A naive and foolish child.

Turns out the story of your upbringing had been a lie. You'd found out the truth because you witnessed it happen to someone else firsthand.

It was at the age of seven you found out. The age where everything started falling apart. When the illusion of blind devotion started to fade away.

You'd been assigned a mission with a few others. Reik had been among them. The targets had easily been disposed of. Of course they were, they were ordinary people who happened to cross the wrong person.

When your group went to leave, a wailing sound filled the air. It was only a matter of seconds before the source of the crying was found. Father had discovered a small child hidden away inside a closet.

Who, upon finding the baby, met your eyes and told you, "It's our job to make sure we finish off our targets. No matter what, for the good of the clan. But it's also our responsibility to handle loose ends.

Our client only specified a man and a woman. Therefore this child is our burden. A baby is pure. Born without the sin of their parents. Do you understand, little one? None of this is personal."

The phrase became one you hated. "It's nothing personal." It was very personal.

Looking back on it now, he didn't have to take that baby in. He didn't have to take any of them in, yet he did. It had you thinking that maybe, somewhere deep down, that man actually felt guilt and remorse for what he did.

Then again, he always justified his actions with them being for the good of the clan.

A small part of you couldn't let go of the man you'd perceived him to be. Didn't want to believe his actions had never been out of kindness, but necessity.

You wanted to hate him, and you should have.

But you were just sad if anything. Frustrated that he was up on a pedestal that couldn't be questioned. Because if it was, they'd end up like you.

Like Kari.

Your Kari. Your little sister that had been taken far too soon from this world. Eyes such a light brown they were almost golden. Hair a fluffy mess of curls.

It was your fault she was gone.

🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘

At the age of seven you were what most would call an absolute demon. Always getting into fights. Always biting people and using the gap between your teeth as leverage to sink them in deeper. Always showing off.

Today had been one of those days.

You'd just come back from retrieving a special object. Your goal was to turn it in to either Reik or a fellow trader. You'd decided on the later, strolling through the dirt roads of the village.

What was the name of the person you were supposed to see? Winnie? Winfred? Wonka? Eh, didn't matter anyways.

You were gonna make a pitstop first and pay a visit to your favorite old codger. Kari was sick after all. Perhaps some sweets would make her feel better. And he was the only one with a working oven.

Your thoughts were interrupted by a harsh shove to your shoulder. A few other kids shoving past you. Laughing as they raced away.

You turned your head towards where they came from, watching as an old man tried to give chase. However, he was out of breath after only a few steps.

"Old Mr. Beuru?" You mumbled.

"DAMN BRATS! YOU'RE LUCKY I AIN'T AS YOUNG AS I USED TO BE!"

Your mood immediately dampened. You gave a sigh before focusing your eyes in the distance. Three mischievous auras on your radar. You summoned your nen towards your legs and took off towards them.

It was only a matter of seconds before you caught up. You gave a jump to land in front of them and glared.

Three teenage boys. Who would've guessed?

The ringleader glared right back, popping what you assumed to be candy into his mouth.

"If it isn't one of Father's favorites. Whaddya want? We don't have time to chattering around with a diaper baby."

His two buddies snickered at his remark.

You took the first one as a compliment. Being one of Reik's favorites meant you had a good shot of becoming the clan head one day. That you were a prodigy.

The second one you wouldn't let slide. You'd already outranked these fools in both physical and nen combat. But sure, you were the baby.

"Hand over what you took." Your voice was ice and your aura was authoritative. But it did little to deter them.

"Tch, like we're gonna give you any. You know how hard it was to con that old man?"

That was all the information you needed. You were hot headed by nature. Someone who strikes first, asked questions later.

At least, that was how you used to be.

In the blink of an eye, you'd used your Caster's Net to hog tie the boy's lackies. Your anger being palpable as you tackled the third. Pushing his face in the dirt and using your nen to pin him.

"GET OFF ME!" He screeched.

"THEN GIVE BACK WHAT YOU STOLE!"

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" He then tried to throw you off. Using his own nen to find some leeway. But as you observed, you were indeed stronger than him.

"BULL! WE'RE MEMBERS OF THE SAME COMMUNITY! IT IS MY BUSINESS WHEN YOU DECIDE TO GO AND PICK ON ONE! NOW GIVE IT BACK!"

"HE HAD IT COMING, NOW GET THE HELL OFF!!!"

"GIVE IT OR I'LL-"

The threat died on your tongue as you were hoisted up. Your nen dissipating from the shock.

It was how you found yourself being interrogated by Father. The altercation causing quite the stir in the village. He questioned the three boys first.

"What was the reason this fight started? You know fighting within the clan is looked down upon. Even more so to be feuding with a member below your age group."

The trio wasted no time coming up with a lie.

"They just jumped us. We were minding our business when they came out of nowhere." The ringleader answered.

Unawares of the eyes focused in on his aura.

"You swear that's all that happened?" Father asked.

"Uh huh. If you ask me, they need to be kept in check."

If looks could kill, you would've ended his life ten times over.

"I see. Now, Y/n what do you recall happening?"

"I was just coming back from my mission and I saw the three of them running away. Mr. Beuru was chasing them so I assumed they did something. And I was right. They stole from him. They even admitted it."

If there was one thing you despised most, it was liars and thieves. Unbeknownst to you, in about a decade that would change to hunters.

Reik looked at you thoughtfully.

"So when they wouldn't hand over what they stole, you decided to get it by force?"

"Yup."

"Fath-Reik, they're lying!"

But he'd already found out the truth. Your aura had been convicting, untainted by deceit unlike the three boys before him.

"You boys should know by now that you can't get anything past me. Please return what you've taken. I promise your punishment will be more lax if you do."

The decision shocked the three boys. But even so, they wouldn't go down without a fight.

"It's no fair! You always side with them!"

"Y/n told the truth. You did not. Am I to side with a thief and a deceiver? You three will spend two days in isolation. Do I make myself clear?"

The trio's pockets were emptied out. Small bags of hard candy found in them. You watched as they were hauled off to the Room. Sticking out your tongue as they passed you by.

You figured isolation was an appropriate punishment. Two days without light, food, and water. Served them right.

You made your way back towards the main village, carrying the bags of sweets. Turns out the person they were stolen from was the one you had been on your way to see.

You knocked twice on the door before entering. The old man looked up at you surprised.

"Guess who just got three jerks in trouble?" You jazzed your hands, causing Beuru to let out a disappointed sigh.

"What was Reik's punishment?"

"Two days of isolation. They were really annoying too. Anyways, here." You held out the bags towards him.

At that, he smiled.

"Glad my day wasn't ruined after all. You know something, Y/n?"

You gave a hum.

"You might be the only kid I can stand. You've still got sticky fingers though. Now, you know what you hafta do if you want one of my deserts."

Because Old Mr. Beuru had to beg Reik for an oven. The only one in the entire village, just so he could bake to impress the old lady he liked. And she'd been the only one he baked for until you came along. His conditions had ranged from various trivia during the time he was growing up.

With that being said, you started humming up an old tune. Then danced in a way that was completely old-fashioned.

"I already had Shura play the Charleston several times, so I'd say I'm a pro now." You bragged, promptly falling flat on your butt afterwards.

The old man laughed, bagging you up something that looked chocolate. His expression turned serious as he handed it off to you.

"Speaking of Shura, don't tell her about what happened here. Okay?"

"Why not, she worries about you, you know?"

"That's exactly why. She's all grown up now. She doesn't need to worry about me when she's got her own life going on."

It was something you didn't understand at the time. Not wanting your child to worry about you. But you sure as hell understood it in the present.

"Now get back home. Isn't your sick sister waiting?" Beuru jested.

"Yeah, yeah. See you around, fossil," you threw over your shoulder as you left.

"Die in a hole, gremlin."

When you'd returned to your home, you had to dodge several of your peers to make it to your room. Most of them wondering what happened with you this time.

You never liked how quickly word would get out.

It didn't matter anyways. Their opinion on you didn't matter. The only one whose you really cared out was...

"Hey, Kari. How's the cold coming along?"

Said girl peaked her head out of a pile of blankets before ducking back down.

"I'm dying. This is the end for me. Remember the Alamo."

You walked over to her bed snickering. Harshly pulling the covers down as she shrieked.

"The Alamo, huh? You've been spending too much time with Deshin."

She pouted up at you. Fighting in a tug of war to cover herself again.

"You've been spending too much time with Deshin. I heard you got in a fight today."

"Yeah cuz' they made me mad. Don't you wanna know why?"

"No." She replied.

You pinched her cheek in retaliation, grinning at her noise of protest.

"Fine. Be that way. It's not like I went out of my way to bring you something special. Me? Never."

Kari quickly shot up at your words. Honey colored eyes beaming as you dropped the bag into her lap.

"You do love me!"

"No duh. You better share!"

Now Kari hadn't been a prodigy like you. In fact, she was the exact opposite. She was way behind the rest of her age group. Not even capable of reading the auras of those around her.

Tracker was off the list of what she would become.

She had a basic understanding of nen and was an enhancer from what you gathered. But she had trouble fighting. Severely lacking when it came to speed.

That scratched Trapper too.

You figured she would've been a trader. Then again, she wasn't very good with people. Most of the one's she interacted with treated her less than because of her weak nen.

She just didn't really fall into any role of the clan. And that made her a target for the older age groups. It's why you met in the first place.

If there was one good thing that clan taught you, it was that your family didn't have to be blood related.

You stood up for her, and ever since then, she'd been one of your own. Your little sister by choice. You'd done your best to coach her. Slowly helping her make improvements in her strength.

And while she was improving, it wasn't fast enough.

That night, the two of stayed up watching the stars. Intertwining hands and making signs while you ate whatever sweet Beuru had made.

It wasn't too long after that things started falling apart.

Your clan hadn't been made up of just any hunters. They were all Blacklist Hunters. Doing unsavory work in the shadows to keep the clan mostly isolated.

Children, like you and her, were trained from the age of three and up to perfect their nen. Prepared by the age of twelve to take the Hunter Exam in order to properly provide for the clan.

Always for the good of the clan.

But in the meantime, most kids with advanced nen would shadow the adults on their mission. You were one of three who had that privilege. The others being your 'best friend' and a girl a year older than you.

It was one of these missions you'd just been selected for. However, you had a condition if you were gonna help out.

Kari had to come with you.

It was more of you wanting her to get experience than it was because you wanted to spend time with her.

Nevertheless, she was allowed to come with you. Your task was to locate an undercover crime boss from his picture. Hers was to be there to catch him when he got scared out.

Finding the man was easy. Based on his stature and preferred traveling habits, you were able to find him in a week. Following the cruel and murky aura all the way to his hideout.

The easy part was done. The hard part would soon begin.

"If you see anything, act. Don't be scared, okay?" You ordered the small girl.

She nodded in return.

With that, you took off with the others in your group. You'd immediately been shot at as you entered. Dodging from side to side and trying to find some cover. Luckily, one of the people you were with had a reflecting ability. Nearly cutting the size of goons in half.

The rest worked on fishing out the leader. Two of the potential targets started running towards the exit. You were only fast enough to catch one. Cracking their skull on the pavement with a kick as the other escaped.

From Kari's perspective, she saw a man fleeing. And remembering your words, used a weak strand of nen to hold him down.

"Please stay still mister. It'll only be worse if you don't." Truthfully, she didn't want to kill anybody. She was counting on you to take care of it, like you always did.

The captive struggled against the bind before begging.

"Please! What is it you people want!?! Money??? I've got plenty! I can send thousands if you let me go! Little girl you don't want to be doing this!"

Kari closed her eyes and raised up her foot. Preparing to end his life. For you. She was gonna do this for you and nobody else. Only here because you stuck your neck out for her. She didn't want to tarnish your reputation.

Then the man said something. Something that completely stopped her in her tracks.

"I HAVE A FAMILY, PLEASE!!!"

She opened her eyes shocked. It was never really something she thought about before. These targets they'd been pursuing had still been people. People with lives and loved ones.

Was it really justified ending their lives?

Was a clan built on blood really something to be proud of?

Who were they to determine if someone should live or die?

It made her feel icky the more she thought about it. Someone paid for this man to die. Or rather, they paid for him to suffer. The rule: No witnesses, no survivors had been a Mizaki invention. He didn't have to die.

So then why were they doing it?

And with her newfound revelation, she released her nen from the man. He hardly spared a glance back at her as he ran. She barley felt your confused aura from behind her.

"Why did you hesitate?"

She jumped at the sound of your voice. Figuring you'd be angry she let him get away.

"It didn't feel right." She justified.

You could only scrunch your face in confusion.

"Why not? He was the guy we were looking for. If you didn't want to kill him, you should've just held him down for me or one of the others."

"It's not that...I didn't think it was right for him to die."

It was an odd thing for you to hear. Of course it was right. It was for the good of the clan. But Kari was younger than you. She wasn't used to this. It made sense that she wouldn't understand. You knew she would in time.

"Then I won't bring you in on any more 'people' missions. Okay? But right now we have to find that man before the others find out. Messing up means a punishment from father."

But it was too late. A thud sounded ahead of you. One of the others had already caught up to your target. And they didn't look too happy about it.

"YOU ALMOST LET HIM GET AWAY! I WANNA KNOW WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS!" An older woman lectured.

Before Kari could take the blame, you stepped forward.

"It was me. I miscalculated and he slipped away. I'm sorry."

You always did this. Always vouched, always protected, always accepted the responsibility. And Kari hated it.

It wasn't fair to you.

Yet she said nothing. A fear that if she spoke, she'd be banished from the clan or worse.

She looked on regretfully as you were seated in front of Reik for questioning. She could do nothing except hope you'd be back soon.

Meanwhile, you were sweating buckets. You didn't like lying to Father. He could see through anyone with his eyes.

"Back here in less than a month? It's not like you, little one. From what I gather, you let the target go. Is that correct?"

The air felt tense...But you wouldn't give your sister up that easily.

"Yes, Father. It was my fault we almost lost him."

You were kneeled down before him with your head bowed. Trying to make yourself appear smaller.

"Really? Someone with as much precision as you let the target get away? This hasn't happened to you before. Were you distracted? I'm aware that Kari was with you."

You tensed up, already knowing you'd been found out. But you were stubborn, no matter the odds.

"She was. But I was alone when he got away. She had nothing to do with it."

Your aura was heavy with deceit.

"Y/n, tell me the truth. Kari was the one who let him get away, wasn't she?"

"...No, it was me. It was my fault."

You flinched as you saw him raise a hand in your peripheral. You were surprised when it cupped your cheek, guiding you to meet his eye.

"You should know I'm very proud of you. Not many would stick up for those they cared about when facing punishment. You have a loyalty that runs deep. A quality that makes for a strong hunter."

But as quickly as the warmth came, it was taken. The hand cupping your cheek moved back and slapped you. Your head turning from the force.

"But you out of everyone knows you can't keep things from me. I accept nothing less than the truth. This isn't a matter of stolen goods, this concerns our clan as a whole. I'm disappointed that you would jeopardize that."

The left side of your face was numb. A dark handprint already forming on your skin.

"I'm truly sorry." You quickly placed your head on the floor and put a hand over your heart.

"I didn't mean anything by it. I swear I didn't. Please find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you, just as I have forgiven those boys. But you still have to face your punishment. The one meant for Kari."

"Yes, Father."

"A week in isolation with the bare necessities. But before you go, I want you to think about something. You risk everything for that girl. You suffer for her. Lie for her. But what has she ever done for you besides get you in trouble? Your loyalty is everlasting and patient, but how much more will she put you through without anything in return? That is all. I hope the week will fly by for you."

You didn't know what to feel at the moment. You'd been praised for protecting Kari, then questioned on if it was the right thing to do.

You loved her, and she loved you.

Right?

She was always there for you when you got back. She always stayed up with you to watch the stars. Always engaged in silent conversations with you.

But then again, Kari never went on any missions you didn't. She never got tired like you and would stay up way past when you fell asleep. She only learned sign language because you found the book on it. She never really got you anything like you had through bartering.

You always covered up for her.

But you did it because you wanted to, not because she asked.

Everything you did for her, you never expected anything in return. Nothing except her support.

Was she supposed to be returning all these favors?

Were you going about this all wrong?

Father seemed to think so.

And maybe it did make you bitter that you were alone in the dark. Maybe you were upset that she didn't finish the target off simply because she didn't want to. Maybe you were upset that she kept blowing the chances you gave her.

Maybe you were tired of doing so much for so little in return.

But it wasn't as black and white as you were lead to believe. As soon as you'd been sentenced, Kari made her way to Reik.

"Is Y/n gonna be okay?" She asked.

"Y/n is facing a week of isolation in your place. They were very adamant on doing so. You should feel so fortunate to have someone who cares that much about you." It was said lightly.

But Kari couldn't help but feel like something malicious was hidden underneath.

"Why so harsh a punishment? It really wasn't all that bad."

She froze as she was met with small glare.

"It could've put our clan in danger. No witnesses, no survivors. If Y/n gets it in their head that it's okay to let our targets go, then they'll do it more frequently. They'll start to lag behind their age group. Right now they have a good chance of taking over the reigns when they're older.

I understand you two are close, but I fear your influence might make them soft. Make them weak. Perhaps it's for the best you two are less involved. It's for the well being of the clan that they don't fall behind. You understand that, right little one?"

And Kari's heart just about broke.

She had never viewed Reik as a father figure. He'd never been as kind to her as he was with you. And now that he verbalized he felt she was dragging you down, she could only dislike him more.

He didn't love you. He didn't love any of you. He just viewed you as a tool to get ahead.

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

To say Gon and Killua were shocked would be an understatement. They knew that Palm was 'weird', having met her only once. But this was just absurd.

Apparently her nen ability allowed her to find and contact Bisky, of all people. Saying she did a little research. Whatever that meant. They were too weirded out to ask.

But it might've been for the best. Bisky had helped them out before. She'd been the one to help refine their nen attacks. Surely she could make them strong enough to defeat Morel's students.

Her first reaction upon seeing the boys again was anger. Hitting the both of them over the head for even thinking about completing their training in just a week.

Her next response was confusion. Noticing a very familiar presence was missing.

Yours.

"Hey boys, where's Y/n?" She questioned.

She was sure you left with them. Maybe something happened. And judging by the sulking expressions they wore, something did. Both of them deflating at the mention of your name.

"They didn't die, did they?"

Gon's head quickly shot up. Shocked and in disbelief that Bisky thought you'd die so easily.

"No! Y/n would never! They're just gone for the time being."

"So dead."

This time it was Killua who spoke up, not wanting any further confusion.

"They're back at the NGL with our other friend. Y/n's training and probably looking for him. We…We got ambushed back there. Which is why we need to get as strong as possible quickly."

Bisky nodded, getting a grasp on the situation. She knew you were a bit flaky from your reaction on Greed Island, but maybe that could work in her favor.

Give these boys a little more incentive to push themselves.

"That's even more of a reason you should take training seriously. What do you think is gonna happen when the month's over and you don't show up? They'll be disappointed is what."

"Is it really gonna take a month?" Gon asked.

"Kite's back there, too. The sooner we get both of them out, the better." He justified.

There was something determined in his eye.

But it took more than determination to win battles. Especially up against hunters that had plenty of experience. It was best to take things slow and use up all of the available time.

It'd help them out in the long run.

"A month for sure. Now let's get started! We're going all the way back to the basics!" Bisky announced, causing grumbles from both boys.

You were strong enough to hold out for a month, right?

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

It was a murky day when you were released. Humid and cloudy. You hated it. Your footsteps lagged towards your home. You didn't think you wanted to see her right now. You'd spent so much time thinking about what Reik said.

So much time wondering if it was all true.

You hesitantly opened the door to your shared room. The creaking of the door signaling your arrival.

You were surprised to be engulfed in a hug. Why were you surprised? A mess of curls tickling your nose. You hesitated to wrap your arms around her.

"I missed you big sib. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you were in the Room for so long."

You just couldn't find it in yourself to be mad at her. No, she hadn't intentionally left you in the trenches. And you truly were a sucker for anything she did. A crumb of her affection and Father's words faded just like that.

"I missed you, too. Anything big happen while I was gone?" You already knew the answer.

"No. I've been completely bared from shadowing. That's about it...Oh! Shura said she'd play your favorite song when you got out. The one about fall."

She beamed up at you. You couldn't help but smile back.

"Really? How about we go see her right now? I'm sure she's still outside since it hasn't rained yet." A nice melody on the piano was just what you needed right now.

"And if she's not, can we just walk around instead?"

"Sure...But first I have to see Father. I need to get my next assignment before I get rusty."

You grabbed her hand and prepared to pull, but she didn't budge. You looked back at her in confusion.

"Something wrong, Kar?"

"That man isn't my father, and he's not yours either." Her tone was angry. Eyes glaring down at the floorboards.

It shocked you. She was never mad at anything. You didn't even register her words fully.

"What? Are-Are you okay? I know he's not really my dad, but-"

"You know what he really thinks of you? Of us? He thinks I'm a burden to you. He thinks of you as a tool for the clan. It's not right."

Her same words from that night.

But it only made your two loyalties clash. Your respect for Reik and your love for Kari.

"I don't know where all this is coming from, but please stop. You know you're not a burden to me. I love you. And I already know what I am. My purpose is to do what's best for the clan. To get stronger for my people."

She gaped at you for a moment. Then frustration radiated off of her.

"AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT!?! YOU MEAN NOTHING TO HIM AS A PERSON, AND YOU DON'T CARE!?!"

You could feel your own frustration start to increase.

"I didn't say that. I said it's my duty to get stronger for my people. Father sees my potential as a way to do it. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about me!"

She gave a cruel laugh.

"You're in denial! He doesn't love you! Why can't you see that!?! You're so brainwashed you can't even see what he has you doing! He's making you kill people!!! Normal kids don't do that!!!!"

"Well we're not normal! We're Mizaki! The best of the best! Sometimes that means getting our hands dirty! It's how it is! Why can't you see that!?!?"

"BECAUSE IT'S NOT RIGHT! THESE PEOPLE HAVE FAMILIES! THEY HAVE OTHERS WHO CARE ABOUT THEM! WE AREN'T IN THE RIGHT TO SAY WHO LIVES OR DIES! THINK ABOUT IT! WE DON'T HAVE TO KILL ALL OF THEM! IT'S DEAD OR ALIVE, NOT DEAD! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE SPARED SOMEONE WHO WASN'T A BABY!"

"WE HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY! IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL, SO WHY ARE YOU TREATING IT LIKE IT IS! GOD WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!!!"

Your eyes widened when you realized what you said. It was too late to take it back. You could tell by the tears now streaming by her face.

"Kar, you know I didn't-"

"I hate you."

Your blood ran cold. You didn't know how to handle this. She'd never said that to you before. And sure you had your fights, but never like this.

"You don't mean that." Your voice was pleading.

"I hate you. Just go away. Run away to Reik like you always do. You love him more than me anyways."

She pushed past you and out the door.

You could only stand in the center of the room. Mulling over everything that was said. Crying softly as you realized she meant every word.

She really did hate you, didn't she?

You should've kept your mouth shut. You just had to go and ruin everything.

🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘

You threw up for the fifth time today. Already two weeks in and you still couldn't do it. You still couldn't stand the feeling of blood.

You managed to desensitize yourself some when it came to seeing it. The blue blood, at least. You didn't think you could handle red blood.

The feeling of it splattering against your skin or landing on your clothes was enough for you to panic. Collecting the rain and using it to rub your skin clean. To wash away the sticky liquid from your face.

Scrubbing away until your skin was raw. And even then, you still felt filthy.

Your ears picked up a whirring sound. Something was flying towards you. You had a good feeling you knew what it was.

You could feel the bloodlust before you saw the ant. It looked at you with a hungry expression. You were so damn tired of killing these things.

Trying to take out your frustrations on them, only to feel even worse after. It didn't help that you felt two more incredibly malicious auras awaken during the week.

Two more royal guards.

And you couldn't do a damn thing about it unless you wanted to die.

For now, you kept yourself busy with the weaker ones that approached you. Thinking you were easy prey.

"See that line," you said as you pointed to a straight line in the dirt.

"As long as you don't cross that, I'll let you live. I don't care what else you do." Your voice was tired, but healed.

It didn't sting anymore when you spoke.

"You think you can scare me? I'll eat your flesh from your bones!"

The ant lunged towards you. With a snap of your finger, it's body was left hanging in front of you. Dead in a matter of seconds.

You released your nen and watched it fall. The blue spittle from its mouth landing on your shoe. Your stomach immediately churning in disgust.

Make that six times.

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

The days seemed to fly by with Bisky's rigorous training. Gon and Killua were already two weeks in. Two weeks of forcing themselves to keep ren as long as possible. Two weeks of fighting Knuckle immediately after.

Two weeks of worrying about you.

It was the middle of the afternoon and they were still struggling to maintain their Ren. Going on the second hour when small thuds sounded at the window.

It was raining, and heavily by the sound of it.

Both boys immediately lost all the fight in them. Giving up on maintaining their aura and looking dejectedly outside.

The rain.

You always smelled like fresh rain.

Something that had been odd, yet comforting.

It was like they just couldn't escape your presence. Unable to focus on training anymore now that they had been reminded of you. Missing you even more now that they couldn't avoid a scent so reminiscent of yours.

"Hey! What's the matter with you two!?! Training isn't over yet!" Bisky scolded.

But neither of them paid her any mind. Instead, watching as it continued pouring outside. Wondering how you were doing out there.

Did you have some shelter from the rain?

Were you warm?

Had you been able to find something to eat?

Things they were sure would have been laughable to you.

"Can we take a break? Just until the rain stops." Gon asked, earning a confused look from Bisky.

"Why? You know we don't have time to be wasting. We only have two weeks left."

She couldn't, for the life of her, understand why now of all times they would want to take a break .It wasn't like they were training outside in the rain. And even then, she'd still make them work.

"You wouldn't understand. Either way, we don't feel like training right now. Not while it's still raining. We won't be able to focus," Killua explained.

It's not that he didn't trust Bisky, but the reason was just too embarrassing to tell her. Especially with Palm eyeing them from the kitchen.

"Fine. But don't expect any breaks for two days, got it?"

The duo nodded, relieved they'd been allowed a small moment of peace.

Killua quickly went to crack open a window. Allowing the sound of rain to be more prominent throughout the small home.

Gon went into the room that had been yours. Eyeing the messy sheets with a bittersweet feeling.

They'd spent about a week taking care of you here. Making sure you wouldn't die of blood loss. That you'd make a full recovery. And then you'd let in a hurry.

He grabbed the comforter you wrapped around the two of you that night. Dragging it out to the spot Killua had chosen.

The both of them sat down, tossing one side of the comforter over to the other. Basking in the warmth it brought along with your scent.

Almost like you were here, giving them a hug.

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

It was only five days after your fight that you'd been assigned to shadow another mission. You didn't get a chance to apologize. She'd avoided you too well for you to even make the effort.

But you thought hard about what she said.

You didn't have a problem if Reik didn't really care about you. At the end of the day, he was a mentor. Made to make you stronger. And if that was the extent of your relationship, then so be it.

You only cared about if Kari loved you, and the longer it took to make amends, the less likely it would be.

The thing you really took to heart was her accusations towards the way the clan was ran. She was right about them not having to always kill a target.

She was right about many of them having families. You'd heard so many pleas that you eventually became desensitized. Maybe you could prove a point. Maybe you did have a choice and the clan just went with the easiest one.

It was just your luck that Deshin was shadowing with you. A boy your age with a mixture of black and white hair. Thus the nickname you gave him: cookies'n cream.

He was your rival in a sense. Always competing and pushing to out do each other. It became a friendship built on mutual respect. You argued and teased each other, but that's what kept things interesting.

Your assignment today was to stop anyone inside the building from escaping. A mundane job but considering you took the blame for the last guy escaping, it was only fair.

You scanned inside the building with your eyes as the others went in. It was a decently sized house. You couldn't help but pity whoever was inside.

You'd never done that before.

You watched the relaxed auras inside become overrun with fear. The little blimps of life disappearing one by one. A few screams here and there.

Then you saw one approaching the exit. It was a woman who appeared injured. Blood trailing down her head as she ran.

You quickly intercepted her. Her frantic aura calmed a bit upon seeing you.

"Oh, sweetie. You have to get out of here now. There are bad people inside. We have to run while we can, c'mon!"

You hesitated as she extended a hand out to you.

There was so much sympathy radiating off of her. Motherly, was the feeling. A stranger that was warning you about your own people.

It was dumbfounding.

Father never had this much softness in his aura when he addressed you.

The screams from the building started to quiet down. The woman only further urged you to come with her. Was that guilt you were starting to feel.

A job was a job.

But maybe, things could go differently this time.

"I'm really sorry, ma'am. But there's a bounty on someone who lives here. We have to take in everyone by association no matter what. Please don't take this personally."

She looked at you like she hadn't heard right. Then her panic was full force once again.

She let out a yelp as you summoned your nen to restrain her.

"Please! Please don't do this! My son, he's inside! Please, if you have any humanity at least let him live!"

You couldn't handle her pleas anymore. Using your aura to knock her out. This....This all felt wrong.

You knew if her son was an infant, he'd be fine. Maybe, she would be fine too.

You startled as you felt someone from the group approach. Another older woman. She looked between you and your still breathing captive.

"Why is she still alive. You have your orders."

You glanced down at the lady. Remembering Kari's words.

Dead or alive. Not just dead.

"Why...Why can't we let them live? Why can't we just leave?"

Your superior looked at you like you just grew two heads. Her surprise was replaced by a scowl.

"Because Reik said so. You know better than anyone else we can't hesitate. We have to finish the job we were given."

She moved towards your captive, pressing her shoe against her face.

"No don't-!"

'SMASH!'

A harsh stomp combined with a booming crunch as blood poured from what once was that woman's head.

"You've become soft, Y/n."

But all you could focus on was the blood pooling under that woman. She didn't deserve this. You could have saved her. You could have let her go.

The crimson liquid eventually reached you. Grazing the boots you were wearing before you stepped back. A feeling of disgust and something scared guided your actions.

Your eyes never leaving the body. Then all at once you felt vile start to rise in your throat. You quickly turned away and started heaving over a bush.

Shaking with tears brimming at the corners of your eyes. An innocent person's blood on your shoe. Dirtied and tainted.

You were tainted.

The woman watching you only scoffed. You were acting like a toddler in the middle of a mission.

You felt a hand reach out for you and shrugged it off.

"Don't touch me!"

You backed away and were met with a very concerned gaze.

"Woah, gap-tooth. Are you okay?"

It might've been the only time Deshin showed actual concern for you. But that was because you've never acted like this before. You weren't fazed by the sight of blood. Or at least you hadn't been.

You were supposed to be one of the greats, just like him. But right now, you were weak.

"I-I need to go. Right now."

You made a move to leave, but were stopped by a firm grip on your wrist.

"Is this about the fight with Kari? She told me you two got upset with each other. Maybe you just need a break. You're probably just stressed."

This was not stress.

This was a horrific revelation.

"Please, not right now." You were about five seconds away from crying. And then your reputation would be ruined. If it wasn't already.

You'd already been disgraced in front of your peers.

"Then let me walk you back. You're not in your right mind to go by yourself." Deshin could be just as persistent as you.

And this time, you appreciated it.

You gave a nod before scampering away. Going as fast as you could through the trees. Deshin was hot on your trail. Helping you when you would mistep.

You made it back to your home by daybreak. This time, jumping up to your window instead of going through the inside.

You didn't want to deal with anyone else right now.

You fell into your room, collapsing on the floor. Finally in the comfort of solitude, you broke down. Skittering towards a wall and throwing off your boots.

They were tainted.

"Dirty. I'm dirty. I'm gross! I'm gross I'm gross!"

You were sobbing openly now as you hugged your knees to your chest.

"Dirty Dirty Dirty!"

You were unaware of your surroundings at the moment. Not noticing worried honey colored eyes watching your breakdown.

She may have been mad at you, but she'd never seen you cry before. She'd never seen you this broken before.

What did they do to you?

What did they say?

She took small steps towards you. Inching closer and closer until she could reach out and touch you.

You let out a scream feeling arms wrap around you.

"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T!"

But the hug was tight. A head rested on top of yours despite the struggling.

"Shhh. It's okay. I'm here, Y/n. You're here with me." Kari tried to soothe.

You froze up at the sound of her voice. The feeling of her folding your fingers over and over again to sign out 'safe', helped calm you.

You sniffled as she continued to hold you.

"You were right. We don't have a choice. I tried. I really did, but they just killed her. Ari made me watch. I-I-I felt the blood under my shoe. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She didn't like the way you cried harder. She didn't like how she was right. She hoped deep down that she was wrong. That maybe she was just jealous about the attention you gave Reik.

She wished that was the case.

If it were, then she wouldn't have to watch her big sibling break right in front of her.

"I'm sorry, for saying that I hated you. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to get mad at you. Maybe if I hadn't, you'd be okay."

You shook your head against her.

"Not your fault."

Then your next words came as a shock to her.

"We have to get out of here. I don't want to be apart of this anymore. That lady, she wanted to help me, and I got her killed. I don't wanna do it anymore. I don't want to hurt people anymore."

You wanted to leave.

And so did she.

But it was practically unheard of to leave the clan unless it was for business. Could the two of you really do it?

"Hey, Y/n?"

You clutched her tighter in response.

"Promise me. You have to promise me you won't listen to them anymore. Not to any of the superiors and not to Reik. Okay?"

Her pinkie intertwined with yours.

"I promise." You whispered.

"Now can we do one more? A real promise this time."

She summoned her faint nen into her palm. You couldn't do anything but follow suit. Still in a daze from what happened.

"Let's promise that neither of us will ever fight or kill another human being again."

You nodded. Pulling back to look her in the eye. Taking a breath before starting the chant.

"On this day I do declare, it's on my nen that I swear."

A burning sensation tingled on your wrist. By the uncomfy look on Kari's face, she felt it as well.

You two would find a way out of here.

Without hurting anyone else.

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

Week three, and Gon was already on his way to fight Knuckle. Killua had stayed behind to have a talk with Bisky.

Lucky, she was probably gonna give him some secret pointers.

Nevertheless, he approached the usual spot. A small huddle of dogs surrounded the Beast Hunter. You would have definitely liked Knuckle. You probably would have argued with him first, but you would've come around.

Just like with Kite.

He hoped the both of you were still okay.

"You ready, kid?" Knuckle taunted as he stood up. The dogs around him whining at his lack of attention.

"You bet! Today for sure, I just know it!" Gon did in fact not know it. But he was hopeful he was getting better.

Then the thundering started.

And the rain once again followed suit.

It'd been doing that a lot lately. Maybe it was the universe playing a cruel trick. Whatever the reason for the murky weather, it didn't matter.

He lost all his fire anyway. Shoulders dropping and expression glum.

"Geez, you look like somebody just died. Are you sure you're good to fight? Not that I care or anything, punk!" Knuckle tried and failed to hide his concern.

It didn't hurt to give him an honest answer.

"I'm sorry Mr. Knuckle, but it looks like our fight's canceled."

"You scared of the rain or something?"

"No, nothing like that. It's just…the rain reminds me of my big sibling. You see, right now they're waiting in the NGL for me and Killua. They left to train, same as us. And neither of us can focus now when it rains. We just start thinking about them and if they're okay. If they've found our other friend there.

We just miss them. I really miss them. So I hope you don't mind that I can't fight you now. I really don't mean you any disrespect." Gon looked at Knuckle expecting to see him angry.

Instead, he was sniffling and wiping his eyes. When he noticed Gon's staring, he gave a halfhearted glare.

"I'm not crying, so don't you go telling people I am! I just have something in my eye! Now go on home and get a good night's rest! I better not see you out here when it rains ever again! You'll *sniff* catch a cold!"

Gon held back a laugh as he walked away.

"Okay! I won't! Thank you Mr. Knuckle!"

🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️🌑☀️

You couldn't find any information on people who'd left the clan. Not even an old excerpt. Like the thought never occurred to anyone. As if it never happened.

Soooo, you resorted to just asking around. Your first attempt was old Mr. Beuru.

"Hey, dinosaur. I've got a question for you."

He swatted at you with an old dusty news paper.

"Yeah, well spit it out, demon. I open in ten minutes."

"What happens to people who leave the clan?"

He froze. All the color draining from his face. For a brief moment, you thought he was having a heart attack. You could feel uncertainty start to rise within his aura. You couldn't help but notice the worry there as well.

"Get out of my store." It sounded cold, but his being was regretful. Like he didn't want to be doing this.

"It's just a question. It's not like-"

"Get out and stay out. Don't ever come back here. I mean it, Y/n."

He'd never used your name before. Not unless he was serious.

It stung.

"Geez, fine. Not like an old man like you would know anyways." You left disheartened.

He wasn't joking. He didn't want you to come back.

And as he watched you leave, he sunk into himself.

"I really wish I could help ya, kid. But it's best if we both forget you asked that. I'm already at risk by not reporting that in, and who knows how many you've already asked. I have to look after my own.

May Reik have mercy on your soul."

The next few people you asked had similar reactions. All going deadly silent before turning you away. It must've been a taboo subject.

You decided there was one more person you'd question: Shura. One of the nicest people you've ever met. You knew she'd help for sure.

You followed the sound of light piano strokes. A feathery voice accompanying it.

"He’d take a very nice lady and talk her down small, till she fits in the palm of his hand.

Keeps his love on the shelf, only thinks about himself.

And that’s a cold-hearted man~"

You wasted no time shoving yourself to the front. Elbowing anyone who got in your way.

She stopped playing just in time to see you.

"Ms. Shura! I've got something to ask you! But in private tho because people keep acting weird!"

She laughed at your remark. Giving a playful roll of her eyes before addressing you.

"Only you, Y/n. Please make it quick. You know how restless everyone gets. You included." She got up and followed you a little ways away from the small crowd.

"Now, tell me what's on your mind."

"I already asked your dad if he knew, but he was just a grouch about it. And so are a lot of the people I've asked. I know you won't be though. Okay here goes.

What happens if someone leaves the clan?"

And like clockwork, she paled. Looking at you with panic.

"I can't-I'm not sure-" she stuttered for a response.

"Oh honey, just what have you gotten yourself into to. How many people have you asked?"

"Dunno. Like ten."

She took a shakey sigh. Grief radiating off of her.

"... Those who leave the clan are thought of as traitors. And because they hold our secrets, they have to be...."

There was so much sadness in her eyes. All of it directed towards you.

"They're dealt with the way we deal with targets. And talks about leaving are treated like treason. The punishment is the same.....I-oh, Y/n. You can't stop by here anymore."

You were once again being pushed away. And this time you wanted to know why.

"Why? Is there some penalty for talking to me now?"

"Sweety, I've already said too much. You have to go home right now. Please, it's for your own good."

That caught your attention. Were you putting her at risk by talking about it? What did she mean by for your own good? You didn't get the chance to ask as she quickly backed away.

Leaving you standing confused.

You reported it all back to Kari, who had just about as much luck as you. With no other conclusion other than the both of you would die if you were caught, it was time to devise a plan.

You waited two weeks. Learning the paths each individual would take during both the day and night. Who would come and go.

With the recent change and in weather, you decided a rainy night would be the best chance. Nobody would be out. And if they were, you'd be able to handle them.

"Hey, Y/n. When we get out, you promise we'll stay together?"

You gave a wide smile at her question.

"Forever and beyond. But we gotta have some basic goals, don't you think? Let's have a big house!"

"And a dog! I want a puppy." She added.

You nodded excitedly.

"Ooh! I've got a great one! Let's go to one of those amusement parks! I wanna ride the big circle! I heard you can see everything from the top."

"I think they call that one a Ferris wheel. But yeah! Anything else?"

"Not that I can think of. But I have a feeling we'll come up with more."

It was one of the last interactions you ever had with her. One last bit of peace before everything went wrong.

You waited for the thundering sound of rain. Cracking open your window when it was in full force. You jumped down, bracing your legs against the force.

'Now you.'

You made exaggerated signs so she'd be able to see.

Kari gave a brief nod and jumped. You caught her with ease. Setting her down and making sure to have a firm grip on her hand.

"We walk. They might suspect something if we run." You whispered before leading her forwards.

You two moved in silence. The rain masking any potential audible steps. So far so good. You were about halfway through the village.

You were really gonna do it.

You were really gonna leave.

You could feel your heart beating in your chest. Both out of nerves and excitement.

"It's about time. We were starting to wonder when you'd try to leave."

The both of you froze. Angry and disappointed auras surrounded the two of you.

You shouldn't have asked around.

You shouldn't have tried to get information.

You really should have took Beuru's reaction as a sign.

Maybe then you wouldn't be here so afraid. So terrified of dying.

But you had a responsibility. You had something to protect right now. As long as she got out safe, you'd accept whatever happened to you.

You could feel her fear. See her shaking.

"Well, what'll it be children? A swift death or will you run?" A man questioned.

You tensed up and prepared to make your move.

'Guard up.' You quickly signed.

You felt Kari engulf her body in her aura, then released your own. Pouring all your ill intentions to make it stronger.

The feeling of it caught the people in front of you off guard. Some falling down from the force.

You took that as your opportunity to run. Using all your nen into your legs and pushing them the fastest they would go.

You could sense others falling in pursuit. Barley dodging any projectiles sent your way. You prided yourself on your speed.

It was good to know that all your training had paid off. You'd urged Kari in front of you. Making sure she was ahead of everyone.

A bullet whizzed by your check.

Not good.

"Keep running! Look at me! Look at me!" You ordered. Her frantic eyes meeting yours.

"Don't stop! Not even for a second because if you do, we're dead! I'll be right behind you, Kari!"

With that you turned on the heel of your shoe. Coming face to face with a very familiar person.

"I knew something was up with you, but I never would of guessed this." Deshin sighed out.

"Maybe if you tell Father what happened, he'll spare you. Both of you. I don't want to fight you"

You took a step back from him.

Was this what you sounded like to Kari?

Oblivious to anything not under Reik's eye?

Taking his word as absolute.

"Then don't fight me. Just back off and let us go."

He flashed you a hurt look before you lunged forward. You just couldn't risk it. Not when the two of you were this close.

Your first made contact with his stomach. The attack surprising him. Not ready to block it off with his nen.

You raced after Kari as he crumpled to the floor.

"I'm sorry."

You practically leapt over the gate, following after the faint trail of Kari's aura. Your hopeful look replaced by sheer terror when you reached her.

Reik had his hand around her neck, dangling her off the floor. He met your terrified look with one of disappointment.

"Naughty children, dealing with the consequences of their actions. Look at you? Are you frightened?"

You started trembling at the intensity from his aura. So malicious and cruel. So cold and unforgiving. You wouldn't feel another one like it until 13 years later.

Your eyes unable to look away from the sight. Kari watched with panic as you took a step backwards. Then three.

"Y/N!!! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME HERE!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!! YOU PROMISED!!!!" She struggled against the tight grip around her neck. Hopelessly kicking her legs in an attempt to get free.

Reik observed your cowardly actions with disapproval.

"Fine then, be a coward. Flee if you're so desperate to 'live.' Run if you're going to run. Use those eyes of yours to forever watch over your shoulder. But no matter how fast you are or how far you go, we will always be able to find you. Whether it be a whisper of your name or a spark of your aura, your fate is sealed."

A sickening 'snap' reverberated throughout the forest.

You didn't even get the chance to see her body hit the floor. Already fleeing as fast as you could. Pushing your legs the fastest they would go and then some.

You didn't stop for a whole day. Collapsing on the ground when you felt like you were far enough. You stayed on the floor unmoving.

Most likely you were going into shock.

You made no move to get up, even as you were shivering from the cold. Your clothes completely soaked through.

You laid there cold and now hungry.

But you didn't move, not an inch….

Because you deserved to suffer for her death.

You knew you were in the alleyway of some city, but that was all. You knew nothing aside from that. Your mind unable to process everything that just happened.

The first few days ended up with you reaching for Kari, only to find out she wasn't there.

It took you about a month to come to terms with your current situation. And when you did, you cried. You sobbed until your eyes and throat hurt. She was gone. She was gone and you couldn't even have a proper burial for her.

You were free, but at what costs?

🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘

The first year you tried to make an honest living. Asking around if anybody had food or water to spare.

You learned very quick the world wasn't too kind to street rats.

If you weren't ignored, you were yelled at for bothering them.

It got to the point where you were so hungry, you stole an old loaf of bread from a dumpster. The owner of the establishment catching you in the act.

He chased you down, along with some other men. And due to your malnourishment, you didn't have to strength to outrun them.

Instead, curling into a ball as you tripped. Clinging onto to only food you would have in days.

Pain.

Excruciating pain.

Your first response when they started kicking you was to get up and fight back. But as you sat up and caught one of their legs, your wrist started burning.

Your promise to Kari.

You wouldn't have minded breaking it. You had no use for nen now that you'd been exiled from your clan.

But it was the only thing you had left of her.

So you endured it.

You let them beat you down until they got tired and left. Your bread smashed flat.

You weren't even hungry anymore.

🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘

By your fifth year running from city to city, you gave up on trying to survive honestly. What was the point of being a good person anymore? You already had blood on your hands.

You used your speed to your advantage, stealing the money from wallets and purses in order to feed yourself. Using whatever was left over to buy yourself cheap clothes.

Occasionally you'd steal those too.

You weren't living anymore.

You were surviving.

You had nothing except your life and the promise attached to it.

🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘

About ten years in, you stole something that would become your golden goose. An old game cartridge with a ring. The name of it: Greed Island.

You remembered hearing about this. Some hunter dude made it. And from what you recalled, it was a very rare game. Going for billions at auction houses.

But you stopped caring about money years ago. No, what you were interested in was what the game did.

It teleported people inside.

Away from the real world.

You'd finally be able to stop looking over your shoulders. You wouldn't have to worry about maintaining your zetsu.

So you went to one of those bidder places and promised you'd beat the game. Choosing whatever three cards they wanted if you were able to play.

The idiot, of course agreed.

And you'd spent two years there. Isolated because it was better that way. Card raiders showing up every now and then. But you showed them why it would be wise to stay away from you.

Terrifying them to the point they avoided your little territory. And you were content to live that way. Content to spend the rest of your days there.

Until the boys showed up.

And now you were here.

🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘🌘

You just couldn't do it. You couldn't kill these things without triggering your hemophobia. And if you couldn't work past that, then all the time spent here was a waste. You were useless if you couldn't even stand the feeling of a drop of blood on you.

You knew there would be much more when it came time to face the queen and her guards.

Damnit.

If only there was a way for you to fight from a sizeable distance. One that wouldn't risk anything touching you. One that wouldn't exactly count as you fighting.

A weapon was out of the question. Not unless you could use a bow and arrow. And even then, you had precise calculations, aim not so much.

You weren't exactly a manipulator and trying this late in the game would be futile.

Maybe you could conjure something?

You were good at visualization. You were sure of that, even if you were a little rusty. So what then?

What would you conjure?

"Hey, Y/n! Guess what I found for us!" Kari shouted. You'd closed your ears from the noise, but were more than happy to go along.

"What'd you find?"

She lifted up the floorboard and revealed two small marionettes. A rusty clown puppet and a burnt ballerina.

"Get that out of the room right now. There's a 95% chance they're possessed." You lectured, not even bothering to touch them.

"They only look like that because I found them in a burt down farmhouse. It gives them personality. Please, can we keep them? We've never been allowed to have real toys. Please?"

And as always you were a sucker for her.

"Fine. Which one's mine and which one's yours?"

"You can have the ballerina: Shika. And I'll keep Henry."

"You give out the most horrendous names, I swear. But thank you for finding these for us."

Yeah.

Henry and Shika.

Puppets with strings.

They could be operated at a distance. And you had seen them plenty that conjuring would be a breeze. The only catch though…

Could you make them physical before time ran out?

You didn't get a chance to try it out before you were surrounded by ants. Probably a squadron if you had to guess.

"The line. Don't cross it." You warned once again.

But did they listen?

They never did.

You got up to one again use your Caster's Net. However, things just wouldn't go your way today. A fog rolled in. No, not a fog.

Smoke.

So thick you couldn't see through it. And neither could the ants judging by their confused sounds. You quickly focused your eyes to find their auras, not wanting to be ambushed.

Yet the second you did, a portal opened up under you. You fell to the ground of a small room along with the ants.

The light in there was blinding. Like a hospital room. Then you heard a voice. A familiar voice you hadn't heard in years.

"Alright, let's see if any of you prove to be a good warm up."

That old geezer.

Of course the association sent him in.

Why wouldn't they?

You didn't have anytime to control your aura before it erupted. An anger so thick, it was suffocating. The ants near you collapsing on the ground as you made your way to the front.

Netero's eyes went wide when he realized that aura was coming from you.

"So you made it after all. I thought for sure you would have stayed with those boys."

"Cut the shit. Let me out of whatever this is and I'll have the pleasure of never seeing you again." You knew you were probably being too mean. But damnit, he sanctioned and allowed the things Reik did.

Were you not supposed to be upset with that?!?

"Still rude, I see."

Your aura only intensified at the remark. You took a deep breath before calming down. You were being an idiot. Overreacting after finally letting your memories resurface.

Holding a grudge against Netero but not against the man who killed your sister?

Pathetic.

You needed to ne smart about this. Not become overwhelmed by your grief and frustration.

"Just get me out of here. I don't have the time to be upset right now. I have to be training."

At this, the old man quirked a brow.

"Training? These ants must be tougher than I thought."

"It's not the regular ants I'm worried about. It's that damn furry." You mumbled. You'd get that cat bitch back if it was one of the last things you did.

"Hey, old man? Let me ask you something. Why do you continue to associate with that man? You know what he's done. What he's still doing. Why are you still friends with him?" You wanted to know. To have bit of closure on that chapter of your life.

You figured if they hadn't come for you now, then you truly were free to live. That didn't mean you wouldn't be careful still.

"It is not my decision to associate with your-with Reik." He corrected before continuing.

"It's the Hunter's Association. I have no control over what they rule in favor of. But I suppose no one ever told you that. Not at your young age."

"I was seven. And now I don't care enough about hunters to ask around. I just wanted a straight answer, and now that I have it, get me out of here." You sounded drained.

By the dark circles under your eyes, you looked drained too.

"Very well then. I wish you luck out there."

"Suck an egg old geezer."

You remembered meeting the old man when you were younger. Reik introduced you as a prodigy, like he always did. Based on that, Netero challenged you to a game.

One he would have later challenged your two boys.

If you could take the ball from him, he would make you an honorary hunter. And back then that'd been your purpose. Your one goal.

So you played along. Almost swiping away the ball several times before giving up. You'd liked him back then.

But your perspective of all hunters had been soured since then. You didn't want anything to do with them.

And it would have stayed that way had you not met Gon and Killua. They'd shown you once again that hunters weren't all that bad.

That it was just some people who could be terrible. It didn't matter what they were. You'd changed a lot since you were a kid.

But now, you were starting to become the person you were.

The one who loved to be around their peers.

The one who loved to joke around and laugh with their loved ones.

The one who loved living instead of being forced to survive.

---------------------------

Fun Fact #15: Y/n isn't a fan of sour foods. 'Why is it spicy' reaction

MASTERLIST

Tags: @fandomhoe101 @justxiao @bekataylorgriggs

-------------------------

An: Sorry it took so long! We should be getting the alternate chapter for decisions in a few days. Maybe two??? Also for chapter fifteen, I present you with a choice 😏

#hxh #hunter x hunter #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #hxh x y/n #hunter x hunter x y/n #gon x reader #killua x reader #mayhaps a kite x reader???#big sib reader #older reader #found family #x reader #platonic

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i-bring-crack · 9 months

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Plague Monarch! Cha Hae-In AU

(I have a lot of thoughts about her zombie control and bugs in general)

Backstory!

At a young age she was very timid so she didn't get along well with other kids or had a lot of strong friends in her life.

She often just passed her time catching butterflies and looking a ant burrows. The little workers fascinated her a lot.

Her mother owned a flower shop and she tended to take care of some honeybees in their backyard. Cha having lived with those bees often had her hands full of them and named the queen Arsha.

When she sprined her ankle during a race, she couldn't run a lot, but liked to be more outside than inside, so her best next destination was to walk around the forest near her home. It felt tranquil and she got to carry a lot more bugs. Sometimes she even let them crawl on her arms, hands and face.

After her mother was admitted to a hospital due to her illness, the Eternal Sleep, she couldn't keep earning a lot of money by being a third rate athlete, and she felt a new power had awaken in her body, so the next best thing she got was to become a Hunter.

Of course, her life wasn't really all that lucky. She got the lowest rank from all Hunters. E rank. With a power level of 15.

It was truly a miserable existence for her during the past 3 years.

She felt as tiny as bug, sometimes even literally as she had to resort to tricks, biting and nail clawing her way out of her situations.

Three years had passed and she already passed the nickname of "The Bug Hunter" due to her her being so weak that she could easily be squashed like a Bug. But also like a Bug she managed to survive despite all the odds.

Insignificant, and yet always crawling on for survival.

But eventually, her luck had run out.

... or maybe it hadn't

D Rank Arc:

The dungeon was filled with giant bugs only found possibly in Red Gates, or maybe something worse.

Whatever this place was, she defiantly saw it as a sanctuary of sorts for all kinds of huge insects whose bodies where made from plants and tiny other bugs compiling bigger corpses.

It was due to her knowledge about insects in general that she even managed to get so far before she was finally struck down by a Bee.

However she still didn't want to die, and in her last moments, she started eating them. (Hahaha SL R refrence)

Her body slowly consuming every single bug until she could no longer go on, yet at that point she had succeeded the trial predestined to her from the start.

[The One Who Became Many]

[Status window]

Name: Cha Hae-In

Level: 1

Class: None

Title: None

HP: 100

MP: 10

Tiredness: 0

[Stat]

Strength: 10

Stamina: 10

Agility: 10

Intelligence: 10

Perception: 10

(Available points to distribute: 0)

[Skills]

Passive skills: - (Unknown) Lv. Max

Active skills: - Sprint Lv.1

"Guess I'm starting from zero huh..."

Her first day was extremely confusing, the chief Woo Jin-Cheol from the surveillance division had retold the story of her being the only survivor in a deserted place, with no injuries whatsoever except for the huge wound around her heart, that no matter how hard they tried to heal, it kept still showing up. But it wasn't of any big deal either since she still survived from that. Then he asks if she reawakened, they measure her, and no, she hasn't. Thus the two assosiation members leave as fast as they came.

Cha didn't get a punishment because she thought "well everything is already weird, and I haven't had a proper workout in a long time so..."

Workout Arc!

A prerequisite to good bodies is the requirement for great workouts that enable the player to reach the very limits of her body and even surpass them!

Of course since Hae-In had already trained as an Athelete before, most of the workouts that changed daily [Endurance, Resistance, Jumps, Cardio, etc—] would be a piece of cake for her to go through.

What were the hardest parts of the daily quest where in fact, the extra dungeon that she would go through every day to test if her workout had done her favors.

Haein tended to be very embarrassed when talking to Miss Choi Yoora about why she always came covered in goo of sorts. And why she smelled so bad.

[You have killed 'Arbogenius Mantis' ]

[You have obtained: The Arbogenious Claw!]

It was bigger than what she expected, a sword made from one of the strongest claws of the monster she faced.

Huh. Guess she now has to start learning swordsmanship.

Lizards Arc!

A few changes are made from the original story obviously, for one she doesn't enter a C rank dungeon yet, especially when the enlistment was too sketchy. Later on Cha, as she is watering her plants suddenly gets called from the assosiation that they need another member ASAP because one Hunter hasn't assisted today.

So she goes and eventually meets up with new people that she feels she has heard from before, although she can't pinpoint from where.

Lee Ju-Hee is the first to talk to her, she is nice and sweet and has a very strong aroma, far stronger than the others.

When she gets close is when Haein notices that her nose has developed far more than before. At first she would often be around low rank hunters and their smell could only be picked up if she got close enough to them. Even then the smell would be as awful as someone who hasn't showered.

Now, respectfully she felt the smell of the B rank healer was like getting close to a trashcan.

'Oh god. And if I'm going to level up more, doesn't that mean I'll have to be around Hunters that smell worse???'

These powers really were to good to be true!!

Apart from the new finding, she also got to meet a swordsman Song Chi-Yul who could help her train.

And she got to level up more by fighting the dungeon boss.

Overall a normal raid with normal people and some false ranker totally not noticing her skills are way too over the top for someone who is a simple E rank.

False Ranker Match Arc!

Over the time Cha had sustained quite the popularity in the negative way, so when she was suddenly sees as more powerful than before, the eyes seemed to shift quickly with curiosity.

The strongest moment where this happened was when a false ranker had appeared in front of her and challenged her to reveal her true status.

This false ranker was none other than Nam Chae Young, an E rank Archer hidding her true potential. Fortunately it was far less than Hae-In who had just reached the strenght of a top C ranker. Nam Chae Young offers her to help Haein hide her identity if she lets Nam live and Cha is... tempted. Nam hasn't done anything bad at all but she still is a false ranker, so she asks why she is hiding her true potential and Nam replies that it's easy money for someone to enter low rank dungeons while also having the stenght enough to beat a few goblins. And if she were to awaken as a C rank she would be put into more dangerous raids which is not what she really wants to sign up for.

But, if Cha is strong, stupidly strong enough to even fight her one on one, have skills like sprint, healing and posion on her and still get rid of the monsters around them without loosing much HP (lies she needed to replenish her HP with those bottles quite a lot) thennn, they can just make a few fake raids and both of them will get what they want.

Cha hae in will get her animosity and be able to level up inside dungeons without any problems

And Nam will be able to make quick bucks by gathering the 'strike squad'she needs, since we'll, she has quite a lot of friends for being so strong.

(And Cha may be a bit irritated that she does need her help, but hey as long as she can keep her mouth shut, no problemo)

Job Change Arc!

It takes quite a lot of side quests and dungeons before Cha finally achieves Level 50.

The event suddenly happened as she was still training with Chi Yul. The old man almost managed to strike her weak spot due to Haein being distracted by the screen, making Juhee and him worry a bit.

She couldn't tell them the truth so Cha texted Nam to help her get out of the situation and creating a perfect excuse in the process ("all that lying to the assosiation really works for something!" "Unnie... =_=")

Juhee understood and said that she will wait for her until tomorrow then, since Juhee will be leaving then in the airport.

In the meantime Haein was to finish the quest In less than a day.

As she enter she found herself in a.... normal house.

Well this was confusing.

Walking through it she realized this was her old home, with everyone gone and every single plant that she and her mother had cared for completely dried and dead.

Cha followed her gut feeling to go outside of the house where the Bee colony she used to care for once lived.

There it was, the first monster and the strongest she had ever seen before:

[Queen Bee Arsha]

Hah... So an old friend.

After much trouble she managed to kill Arsha, her body composed of thousands of bees was the worst kind of enemy that Cha had ever thought to face. Had she not remembered how a Queen bee looked like and killed it, then she would have died from trying to kill every single bee.

First came her fight in a tropical zone, a huge forest where all kinds of bugs and poison lurked withing.

No matter how much she tried to stab them and kill them, they always came back. And if she sliced them in half they will grow more.

[Eat them]

[Devour them]

[Devour your enemies.]

[Become stronger with their blood.]

The memories of the double dungeon cane back, seeing as this was the only answer that she could think of, Cha began to eat the heart of each bug until her body was at its limit and the venom was paralizing her entire body.

[You can only grow so far by being human]

[You aren't the only one who wants to live]

[You aren't the only one who will crawl for scraps in order to survive]

[They called you a cockroach for outlasting Death]

[They called you a parasite for the sake of letting your mother live another day]

[They called you a bug for being so weak.]

[So, are you now? Are you really as weak as they all say?]

[Or don't you want to prove them wrong once and for all?]

And then

[Penalty quest]

[HP:1]

[Good Luck]

For four hours she had to survive against a new wave of monsters now, but these weaker than her. These were big and had many points were she could strike.

And she was small, she was fragile, a single punch— nein, scratch could instantly kill her.

[Skill: Poison activated!]

[Skill: Hunger activated!]

But she was going to survive this one.

Extra content!

Woo Jin-Cheol: I need to asks a few questions for your rank re evaluation. First: what class are you?

Cha Hae-In: *looks at status window* umm Parasite??

Woo Jin-Cheol:... what

Cha Hae-In: wait no, Plague Monarch.

Woo Jin-Cheol:...

Cha Hae-In: *looks at the detox skill and her HP bottles* Just put healer.

______________

Beru: *Bites*

Cha Hae-In: *Bites back*

The entire Korean team: ????

________________

*Cha Hae-In being called a bug*

Queresha: That one. That one. I want that one.

*Antares may just be sulking in the back who knows*

Cha Hae In and her beautiful army of Bugs~~

The way she brings them out is actually quite nasty, but efficient! By drawing blood from herlsef! (You see she is technically one with her bugs now, the ones she eats, so to summon them she has to like, let her blood fall and thus bugs come out of said blood/or are made from that)

So for most of the story Cha has to get quite beaten up before her power fully appears.

In her first S rank Dungeon, the Winter Kingdom, she managed to earn a pair of wings.

While fighting Arsha she got [Queen's Control] which was technically like Ruler's Touch but she would eventually learn to handle it in a more versatile way that let her grab on to more than two things from far away.

This is technically withing the Canon SL minus the change of Haein. So at some point she does meet the Shadow Monarch who is... working as a miner? In the Hunter’s guild??Guild???

The system is asking to not interact with the other players as much but like, what could go wrong? So Cha tries to catch his attention after lunch and — Yo why is he going to the boss dungeon???

Eh???

WAIT IS HE GONNA FIGHT IT ?????

If she didn't catch him in time the whole dungeon would have gone into chaos, so Cha decides to go tomorrow to the raid.

Who wants to a porter?

Both raise their hand.

They make a paper rock sissor game and Jinwoo wins.

Ah so long leveling up her bugs—

Not 5 minutes later and she can already feel some disaster is about to start due to the smell of the gate becoming more strong. She calls upon Chief Woo saying if she has permittion to go.

"No."

"But."

"Miss Cha it is important you do not get involved with him."

">:("

He doesn't want another S rank fight in the middle of nowhere. He just dealt with two already.

With the Wings Haein got she was able to almost be everywhere at the speed of light and fly anywhere she wanted.

She flew to Busan to meet Juhee,

then to where her mother was to bring her the water of the Echo spring forest, sadly it needs the demon bloods king.

(And jinwoo also needs the Echo spring water.)

and she even flew to Jeju to meet the ants :D

What the heck they are able to fly too?!?!

Jeju island goes... well? I mean she didn't expect she had to fight both humans and ants in one day. Goto was planning to kill them, and Haein had to suffer some Ant King trying to take her throne away from her. Not that she will ever let him.

But she had to keep fighting these two until Jinwoo finally came, defeated the with Hae-In’s help and the Koreans as well as the Japanese were able to live.

But how?

Why?

[Skill: Parasite Worm is activated]

Essentially the Japanese that died, haein managed to cure their corpses of any injuries with some generation abilities, and then with the help of the Parasite worms, she could brainwash them to do whatever she wanted.

One of these things where for the worms to give them back some sort of consciousness and keep acting like normal people until Haein needed their help.

(Unlike the summoning from her blood, these ones will just use the host they inhabit to personally do whatever task they need. They are basically just zombies but don't look the part. They dont even know it themselves at times ~)

In the whole exchange JinWoo was horrified.

Beru got his personality by absorbing Cha's blood since he bit her. Due to her regeneration she was fine but Jinwoo didn't like hearing that at all.

If Queresha is being honest, she never wanted a successor, she just wanted and needed a vessel. She still needs it too. But this one right here seems to be very strong in her own way. Her tenacity reminds her to when she was a small bug too, the weakest of her kind able to rise to this extent.

And she can't help but be proud that her vessel has come so far.

But at some point she has to choose.

[The Double Dungeon is calling you again. To where it all started.]

[Can you devour the Monarch whole this time?]

[Or will this be your deathbed?]

#solo leveling #cha hae in #queresha #plague monarch #guys i need to talk about insects they are cool #also it will also be really cool that cha gets to also be even stronger than the weakest monarch out there #cha : i love tou with wvery part of my body“ to jinwoo who thinks its just a romantic phrase until he is like #oh #ohhhhh

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mpatriciaann · 1 year

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Limitless by Jim Kwik

Everyone's goals don't revolve around just to solve all the world's problems, invent a new technology, or start a billion-dollar company, but sometimes to see how applying exponential thinking might make a real difference to work, school, business, or just your personal growth.

This book is good for speed reading and for someone who finds it difficult to focus and remember names and events. For me, it's also important to note the various ways people use their intelligence and their variety of perspectives, as we all have our own kinds of superpowers we can harness by thinking differently. You may also follow him on Instagram, just like I did for a lot of his success stories from different people. He even makes it a point to reassure his students that they are not aiming for perfection but for progress. 🤍

I raise a glass to the limitless version of myself, the version who has an unbounded perspective. I no longer hold the belief that there are many different things that I am incapable of being or doing. It's possible that there are a lot of things I haven't done yet, and it's also possible that there are a lot of things that I've had difficulties doing in the past, but the boundless me understands that my past does not equal my future.

I pray that the limitless version of myself will realize that my brain is a far more powerful tool than I may have previously realized, and that if I apply my mind to learning whatever it is that I want to study, I will eventually be able to master just about any ability.

To my greatest hope, every single one of me also possesses the limitless capacity to be motivated. In the past, I may have been able to imagine living a more ambitious life, but I was never able to motivate myself to really make those aspirations a reality. Now, though, I am aware of how to coordinate my routines with my goals; I am able to commit to ongoing education and growth throughout my life, and doing so comes as easily to me as putting on clothes in the morning.

Here are some additional reading tips from him:

1. Hold your book upright. If the book is flat on your desk, you may be doing one of two things, either

2. you will be slouched over in order to see the print clearly, and this (as you know) disrupts the flow of oxygen through your body and makes you feel tired.

3. Read for only 20 to 25 minutes at a time. Remember the primacy and recency effect. Also, if your eyes ever get tired or feel strained, take a break. Close your eyes and let them rest.

4. Make reading a habit. Those who have reached a high degree of success in life are almost always avid readers.

I find this cute btw:

ANTs - Automatic Negative Thoughts

LIEs - Limiting Ideas Entertained

I hope imma visualize my celebratory champagne moment!

Thank you brain coach, Jim Kwik!

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

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𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 || helmut zemo, bucky barnes and sam wilson x reader

(this is a sequel to 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭-𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞, I recommend reading that first although it’s not 100% necessary... it would make this make a lot more sense though)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : it was just a matter of time before he upped the ante, all four of you knew that, but taking you all on a vacation specifically for this was a bit over-the-top.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 7.9k (hoo boy)

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : smut (foursome/group sex + a scene that’s just zemo/reader, cockwarming, d/s dynamics, brief oral f receiving, a touch of dubcon/cnc but it’s very subtle and the reader is 100% consenting), established zemo x reader, sugar daddy relationship, ‘sir’ kink (with zemo), ‘daddy’ kink (with sam), orgasm control/denial, overstimulation, creampie, praise with light degradation, possessiveness (but also sharing, lol), exhibitionism/voyeurism, choking, brief anal mention, once again technically cuckolding but not in the typical sense, slight corruption kink?, too many robes, latin sokovian (or as I like to call it, serbukromanian), also assume that whenever the reader and zemo are alone they are speaking sokovian even though I write the convos in english for the sake of simplicity

thank you for being my beta @nsfwsebbie !!

When your Baron told you he wanted to take you on a vacation, you immediately assumed it would be to the mountains or some European city full of history and culture. Instead, you were a bit surprised to hear he was interested in a beach resort, a private villa he had purchased in French Polynesia.

And then you found out he wanted to bring Sam and Bucky along too… and you were simultaneously more and less surprised. More, because who brings tentative coworkers one barely gets along with on a romantic vacation? Less, because of course he would do this. Of course he had plans to dress you up in the tiniest bikinis he could find and show you off to the men who had already become pawns in his perverted game of social chess.

Not that you minded; you were the Queen of the board and it didn’t bother you if it was what the King wanted.

You spent the first night in the villa alone with him, which you appreciated. It had been a while since you two had some real quality time together, and you were craving him more than ever, in every way.

After a beautiful day spent swimming in the crystal blue ocean and enjoying the sights your new temporary home had to offer, you took a shower and tried not to get too excited about how you might be spending the evening with him. But, of course, you were only a few minutes into washing the saltwater off your body when you began to imagine his tongue on you, god that man could use his tongue to destroy you any way he wanted: with his words, with his kisses, or perhaps best of all with it tasting every inch of your cunt. It was amazing how he could get on his knees for you and still have all the power. He liked to make you keep eye contact with him while he did it, make you beg him to let you come, whatever it took to remind you that you were thoroughly and properly owned.

And you loved every second of it, you loved being helpless to him. He made you feel so safe that being vulnerable with him by now felt like no risk at all. You could remember early on when your fears and insecurities made you more hesitant to submit to him, and it was only with gentle patience that he coaxed you into it, never pressure or anger. You weren’t a virgin when you met him but, sometimes it felt like you might as well have been since you were so inexperienced and undersexed then. In fact, he was the first man, the first person other than yourself to make you come… and he made you come more ways than you had known possible.

Okay, so maybe the plan to not get your hopes up wasn’t going so well… you were already struggling to keep your hands from between your legs. Frankly, you would’ve already done it if you didn’t know that touching yourself was against the rules.

You’d gotten so used to taking care of yourself while he was in prison, at which point he obviously suspended that rule, and it was a hard habit to break at times.

You emerged from the bathroom in the fluffy robe you found on the door, smiling when you saw him lounging on the bed in a matching one, reading Анна Каренина (known by the West as Anna Karenina). He looked contemplative, as always, and you always thought he looked especially sexy in his reading glasses. You slipped into the bed beside him, resting your head on his chest as he found a position where he could read comfortably with his arm around your shoulders.

“You must’ve already read that book a thousand times, Helmut,” you sighed.

“And it gets better every time,” he mumbled back, turning the page.

You pouted slightly, nuzzling into his shoulder, and he chuckled. “Is my little lutka in need of some attention?”

You nodded, and he kissed the top of your head softly.

“Why don’t you keep me warm while I finish this chapter, hm?” he offered, and you involuntarily clenched your thighs together at his words. He phrased it like a question, but it felt more like a gentle demand, and you were happy to agree either way.

“Yes, sir,” you hummed as you sat up and straddled his legs, undoing your robe and opening his to wrap your hand around his half-hard cock.

He reached his full potential with only a few slow strokes, and you found yourself absent-mindedly licking your lips as you saw the way your fingers just barely met with your thumb and imagined how your body would be pushed to its limits to take him. Good thing you were already dripping wet even though you’d just been in the shower.

You indulged in rubbing your pussy over his shaft for a moment, enough to coat him in your wetness, before you lined up his tip to your entrance and sunk down onto him with a sigh, feeling like you could never tire of being stretched open by his thick cock.

When your hips met his, and the tip of his cock brushed against the deepest parts of you, you had to bite your lip to suppress a whimper. After so long apart, you were still readjusting to taking him and being on top didn’t make it much easier.

Honestly, you really weren’t trying to move; you just found your hips rocking slightly, seemingly of their own accord. You moaned under your breath as your clit rubbed against his body, but you were pulled from your trance with a whine as he slapped your thigh.

“No moving, draga, I think I made myself clear,” he reminded you sternly.

“Yes, sir,” you breathed.

You were pretty sure that at some point, you were a patient person. But you couldn’t imagine that now, not when all you could think about was how amazing it would be to just ride him right there, memories running through your mind and making your inner walls ripple unintentionally. He either couldn’t feel it or didn’t care, stoically continuing to read even as you were struggling to stay still.

Your plan was to be good for a while and then hope that you could convince him later… but you know what they say about best-laid plans, so you ended up cutting straight to the convincing pretty fast.

“Can I move yet, sir?”

“It’s hardly been a minute,” he frowned.

“Please,” you sighed, just barely moving your hips without even meaning to.

“Not yet,” he asserted, sounding a bit annoyed, but you needed this more than anything.

"Please let me move, please; I just wanna ride you so bad,” you begged.

He sighed, clearly irritated, and just when you thought you’d made a grave error, he finally put his book aside and looked up at you with a grin. "If I had known you would be so whiny, I would have had you keep me warm with your mouth.”

You opened your mouth to respond but let out only whimpery moans when he ran his hands up your body, toying briefly with your nipples before wrapping a hand around your neck and pulling you down into a rough kiss. Moaning into it, you couldn’t hold back any longer and started to rock your body atop his, savoring that perfect drag of his length along your walls that you’d missed so much.

Before you got a chance to really set your pace, he grabbed you tight and rolled the both of you over, pinning you under his weight as he fucked you in that way that was somehow rough and slow at the same time, moving his kiss to your neck and holding you down by your wrists.

“Fuck, th-thank you, sir,” you sighed, your cheeks warming when he chuckled against your skin.

“You really are too sweet, draga,” he whispered.

Your arms wrapped around his neck while your legs did the same to his hips, keeping him deep inside you while his lips and tongue teased your collarbones, his fingers interlacing with yours.

He spent the entire night somewhere between making love to you and fucking you within an inch of your life, making you come more times than you could count, only taking breaks from fucking you to eat you out like a starving man (and one time for a quick drink sometime around 3 a.m.). It was no wonder, then, that you passed out just a few moments after he finally came inside you, sleeping soundly in his arms until well into the morning, nearly noon in fact, when the sun was streaming in through the massive window.

After a relaxed breakfast of champagne and fruit (the native pamplemousse was unlike anything you’d ever eaten before), Helmut encouraged you to shower again and meet him at the pool, which was a bit surprising since he normally liked to have you keep his come in you as long as possible. “Our guests should be here this afternoon,” was his only explanation, and you had a few ideas about what that meant, all of which made your gut sink in an oddly pleasurable way as you were filled with anticipation.

“Wear that bathing suit I bought for you, the new one,” he added finally as he stepped out onto the back patio.

It might seem silly to have a pool on a property right by the beach, but on days like today, where the ocean water was just a bit too chilly, you were thankful to have the heated pool to take a dip in. Honestly, you were a little surprised that Helmut didn’t make you swim in the ocean to see your nipples get hard through the tight black bikini, but then again, they were already getting there just from sharing a pool chair with him.

He was lying against the cushioned chair; your body sat between his spread legs as the back of your head rested on his chest. And, this is entirely unrelated, but you really liked how he looked in the round sunglasses he had on.

You hummed contentedly as you reached up behind you to touch him, rubbing his shoulders and pecs. You wiggled a bit, slowly, and imagined how it would feel if he got hard right against the small of your back.

"Mm, what's gotten into you, lutka?" he purred, rubbing your arms.

You rolled your eyes playfully. "You know the effect you have on me, don't act surprised."

Just before anything exciting could happen, Sam and James entered through the fence, apparently already having changed into their swimsuits; you wished you had thought to wear sunglasses so they couldn’t catch you ogling their muscular bodies, but instead, you just tried to keep your cool as you waved hello.

“Welcome!” Helmut called out, both of you getting up to greet them properly. “I hope your flight was alright…?”

“Yeah, it was great,” Sam nodded, “thanks.”

“You really own this whole place?” James added, glancing around.

“Yes, would you like to have a swim? I hear it should be warm enough tomorrow for the ocean, but until then…” Helmut trailed off.

Sam went right ahead, diving in and smiling wide when he popped back up. That man had such an infectious smile, you thought he should charge people to see it or something because you felt spoiled seeing it for free.

James jumped in behind him but seemed a little surprised when he returned to the surface to see you back in your chair with Helmut. “Care to join us?” he asked you.

“Um, no, I already swam a bit this morning,” you remembered, suddenly shy, “I think I’ll stay by the pool a while longer.”

“Aw, I was looking forward to getting to know you better,” he pouted, and everyone else raised an eyebrow at that statement. “Um, verbally, I mean,” he added, cheeks flushing slightly.

“What would you want to know?” you asked, sighing as you relaxed against Helmut’s chest.

“Well, what’s your story?” he shrugged, swimming up the edge of the pool to hang his arms over the edge.

“I… suppose it’s a rather short story,” you realized, “I was born in Sokovia, but my parents were immigrants. I was a bit of an ugly duckling as a child, I think.”

“You look like quite the swan now,” James winked, and you hoped Helmut wouldn’t notice how much that affected you.

“Oh, thank you,” you mumbled.

“Which reminds me, that’s a cute bikini you have on,” he complimented.

“Do you like it?” you hummed coyly. “Helmut picked it out.”

“Why don’t you give them a better look, darling?” Helmut prompted, and Sam swam up to hang over the edge too as you stood up and fought the urge to cover yourself with your arms. The Baron motioned his finger in a circle, silently instructing you to twirl so they could see the back, and you did though you felt a bit self-conscious about it. Finally, once you were sure they’d had an eyeful, he let you sit back down in his lap.

“Cute, isn’t it?” he cooed as his fingers travelled slowly up your sides. “It’s Chanel.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Sam dismissed, unlatching himself from the edge of the pool and falling into a backstroke. “This is weird. I just wanna swim.”

“You didn’t think this was seriously a free vacation, no strings attached, did you?” James shot back, getting up out of the pool and shaking some of the water off of himself before sitting down in the chair beside you two and letting his eyes wander over you. “So, Chanel, huh?” he prompted, and you nodded.

“Helmut says I should only wear the nicest things,” you explained, sitting up slightly.

“Why does it matter? You’d look beautiful in anything,” James cooed, and you felt a little dirty for how much you liked his attention. Good thing you liked feeling dirty.

“And a rare wagyu steak would taste just as good served any way, but you wouldn’t put it on a paper plate, now would you?” Helmut countered. “Well, maybe you would…”

James rolled his eyes but brushed off Helmut’s insult, returning his attention to you. “I guess I’m just… hungry enough that it doesn’t make much of a difference.”

You reached up to trace your fingertip over the silver chain dangling off of his neck, biting your lip as you hooked your finger around it and pulled him closer. “Are you hungry enough that you don’t mind that it’s another man’s meal?”

His blue eyes went wide for a moment before glancing down to your lips and back up to your unwavering gaze, your brow raised as if a challenge while his furrowed as if he were considering accepting it.

“If he’s willing to share…” James whispered back.

“Then kiss me,” you requested softly, pulling him closer by his dog tags one more time until your lips met.

The way James kissed you was… difficult to describe. Gentle, but with this edge of intensity— like he was restraining himself, like there was so much more passion teeming beneath the surface. You wanted to bring that out if you could; you wanted to see how far you could push him until he lost it.

As James carefully ventured his tongue into your mouth, only to pull back and nip your bottom lip with his teeth, Helmut kissed you too— on the back of your neck, that spot that always made you wet and desperate right away. You moaned, and you couldn’t be sure exactly who it was for, but James sure decided to respond to it either way, tilting his head more to let his kiss explore you deeper.

Helmut’s teeth dug into your shoulder right as James nipped at your bottom lip like they had somehow explicitly coordinated to make you desperate; your right hand reached up to weave into James’ hair, your left squeezing Helmut’s wrist at your side.

The kiss ended just a moment too soon, and there was a delay before you blinked your eyes open to look back at James, who seemed quite proud of himself.

“Touch me,” you pleaded in a whimper.

“Where?” he asked, somewhat innocently.

“Y-you know where…” you mumbled.

He grinned wide, all trance of innocence gone. “I know, but I want you to say it.”

“My cunt,” you whispered, and he snarled just a bit at the word. “Please?”

“Of course, which one do you want?” James prompted with a grin, showing you his hands as your eyes instantly gravitated to the metal one.

“I think you know which I’m going to choose,” you mumbled shyly, and he smirked as he reached forward with the vibranium arm to brush his fingertips over your stomach, moving down to the top hemline of your bikini bottom.

You just barely gasped when the metal digits swiped over your clit and began to rub gentle circles, almost too slow as if he wanted to tease you… which, of course, he did.

"Do you like the way he touches you, draga?" Helmut whispered. His voice in your ear was like honey on your tongue, like honey everywhere.

"Yes, sir," you nodded, looking down at James' hand buried into your bikini.

"Hey, tell me you like it, too," James protested, "I'm the one doing it after all."

"I like it, James," you repeated, looking up at him. "I… don't have a title for you. Should I call you something when you touch me like this?"

"You can just call me Bucky from now on, okay? I think we're well past close enough now for that."

"Okay, Bucky," you sighed, watching the way his jaw clenched when you called him by name, "please put your fingers inside me."

"Both?"

"Yes, please," you breathed.

"But my fingers are thick, they're hard metal, and you're so small and delicate…"

"I want them to stretch me out, just please—"

A loud moan of shock jumped out of your mouth when he pushed the fingers in all at once, and though it reawakened some of the soreness from when Helmut had fucked you the night before, it felt wonderful enough to make your back arch up from the strong body behind you, his erection now digging into your hip.

It was certainly loud enough to get Sam's attention, who suddenly appeared beside the chair while he towelled off his chiselled chest.

"Damn, what are y'all doing to her over here?" he wondered aloud as if he were concerned for your health.

"Just playing with Zemo's little doll," Bucky answered. "She's really fucking tight, can barely fit two fingers."

"Wait, move over, let me see," Sam insisted, making Bucky pull his fingers out and Helmut holding you more firmly as Sam slipped his hand into your bikini as well, poking his fingers at your entrance before pushing them in.

His fingers were even thicker and longer than Bucky's, just by a slight margin yet enough to make you mewl and arch your back as your eyes fluttered shut.

"Fuck, yeah, you were right," Sam breathed, and you felt more hands running over your body but you couldn't even tell anymore whose they were; you knew one that reached to pull up your bikini top and expose your breasts was Helmut's, because only he would be so bold, but the fingers teasing your nipples, the rough palm running up your legs… they could've belonged to anyone, and that realization made your clit throb.

"Okay, okay, that's enough. I was here first," Bucky mumbled as you felt Sam's fingers slip out and the metal ones push back in— not to mention the thumb reaching up to circle your clit slowly.

He wasn't just exploring you this time; you could tell he had a mission. The way he instantly curled into your spot, the way he moved quickly yet deliberately, all made your thighs begin to quiver.

Helmut kissed your ear, gently tilting your head to access your neck better where he began to suck hard enough to leave a mark, mumbling something in Sokovian about how good you were being for him and his guests.

You loved being good, and the praise made your hips lift a little so you could rock yourself onto Bucky's fingers; the three men chuckled proudly.

"Feels that good?" Bucky pressed, and you nodded quickly.

He fingered you even faster, harder, and you cried out.

"Ohhh fuck, Bucky!" you gasped. "Bucky, I'm gonna come!"

"Oh no, you're not," Helmut groaned, giving you a quick spank on the inner thigh as you whined and jolted. "James, take your fingers out."

"Do I have to?"

"You do if you want a chance to fill her with more than just your fingers…"

That worked right away, Bucky pulling back as you pouted at being empty again.

“Let’s take her inside, and we can continue this there,” Helmut suggested, and Bucky lifted you up into his arms as the Baron led the group back to the master suite.

The convenient thing about bathing suits is that it takes so little time to get naked, which is why the second the patio door was shut, Bucky and Sam were stripping as their hard cocks bobbed up against their stomachs. As if that weren’t overwhelming enough, Helmut stepped away for a moment (which left you feeling more alone than usual) just as the men began to help you strip; Sam untied the back of your bikini while Bucky knelt and pulled down the bottoms, leaving you feeling exposed as you were totally bare before them. Bucky smiled up at you and kissed along your thighs while Sam grabbed a handful of your ass and growled a bit under his breath.

When you looked over at Helmut, you saw he had actually dressed in his robe rather than stripping, nearly making you whine with disappointment. But you couldn’t focus on that long as hands moved all over your skin, both of them still just slightly wet from the pool, and you shivered for both of those reasons.

You gasped when Bucky suddenly licked a thick stripe right over your folds, and if it weren’t for Sam’s arms holding you up, you might not have been able to stay standing.

Looking down at where Bucky was devouring you, he looked back up at you with a lot less dominating intensity in his eyes than you were used to seeing. Not that you minded; after all, no one could do what Helmut did as well as he could, but maybe Bucky could do something different, and it would be just as enjoyable. His tongue lapping at your clit was certainly wonderful so far.

Sam guided one of your hands back behind you to stroke his cock, your mouth falling slack, which he took advantage of by turning your face and capturing you in an open-mouthed kiss. You heard your moans stifle against his tongue, felt his cock flex a bit as you smeared the precum you found at his tip.

“I think that’s enough for now,” Helmut interrupted, and everyone turned to look at him. “Darling, come here,” he instructed with a curled finger that pointed to the bed, “hands and knees.”

You nodded and pushed the other men away, taking your place on the bed and looking up at him as he held your jaw gently.

"How long has it been since you had another man inside you, lutka?" he asked lowly.

"I can't even remember,” you admitted, “it's been so long…"

“Are you willing to try it?” he asked gently, no hint of domination or pressure in his tone, and you found yourself searching his eyes for the right answer.

“What do you want?” you asked him instead of answering.

“Draga, I’m asking what you want,” he reminded you, but you were afraid he would be hurt if you showed interest in the other men. Sure, previous evidence indicated that wasn’t an issue for him, but your gut instinct was to deny your attraction. So, you compromised.

“All I want is you,” you answered first, “but…”

“But?”

“But is it awful if… if I want them to fuck me, too?”

He smiled, kissing your forehead. “No, I don’t think so. Only as awful as it is that I want to watch them fuck you.”

You looked up at him and smiled back, brimming with gratitude that he was so gentle with you. It was fascinating how he wielded complete control over you and yet never used it against you.

“I have one rule, draga,” he added firmly, “you cannot come for them. You only come for me. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And stay on your hands and knees, so I can always get a good look at you, yes?”

“Yes, sir.”

He kissed you one more time before pulling away and sitting back in the chair in the corner with his ankle over his knee, looking at Sam and Bucky expectantly. Every chair he sat in seemed to look like a throne as soon as he was in it.

“Well, get on with it, then,” he instructed, motioning to you. The men looked at you and looked at each other before some kind of silent agreement took place and Bucky stepped up first. Sam sat down to watch you as you felt Bucky stand near the bed behind you, flesh and metal fingers running over your back until you shivered.

Then he pressed his cock against you, coating himself in your wetness, and that made you shiver, too.

You braced yourself as he lined himself up, whimpering slightly as he pushed his cock into you as well as hearing him moan lowly. The hand at your waist tightened as he hissed in a breath through his teeth.

"Fuck," he breathed, holding you still so he could fill you completely. “S’tight…” he slurred.

“How does it feel for you?” Helmut asked you, raising an eyebrow as he examined your expression, your mouth fallen slack, yet your brow furrowed.

“It feels… different,” you stammered your answer. You gasped loudly as Bucky started to move, and yes, this was very different. His cock was curved differently and though it didn’t exactly reach any new parts of you (you were sure Helmut had already touched every part of you physically accessible), it did stroke them in new ways.

He gained speed rather quickly, clearly too on edge himself to stay patient, and you didn’t blame him although it sent you moving faster toward the edge than you would’ve liked. At first you wondered if it would even be a challenge to keep from coming like Helmut had demanded… you chided yourself internally for ever being so hubristic.

His legs pushed yours apart, spreading them wider, and he began to really fuck you in earnest, fast and needy and each slam of his hips against your ass harder than ever. “O-oh fuck,” you choked, forcing your eyes shut and scrunching up your nose for a second when he slammed the tip of his cock right into the deepest spots inside you. This position left you with nowhere to go, put your whole body on display for him along with giving you no escape from his onslaught of pleasure. Worst of all was that you were pretty sure he wasn’t even trying that hard to make you feel good, and yet feeling used like that only turned you on more.

"Bucky, please, slow down," you whimpered.

"Absolutely do not do that," Helmut interjected sternly. "Don't let her tell you what to do."

And, possibly just to spite you, he actually fucked you faster. You sobbed and bit down on your lip, fighting everything building up inside you.

“You’d better not come,” Helmut warned through his teeth, “you’d better not fucking come. You know how bad it would be for you if you came for another man.”

“Y-yes, sir,” you nodded.

But Bucky was slamming right into your spot, and he knew it, too. He knew how desperate you were becoming, and apparently, he didn’t mind at all that you’d be punished for it. He leaned down to growl against your ear, “I know how close you are. Don’t you think it’d feel so good to just let go and come on my cock?”

You shook your head, tears streaming down your cheeks as the force it took to hold back your orgasm became painful. “No, it would only feel good to come for Helmut…”

“C’mon baby, just stop fighting it and come for me,” Bucky taunted, “squeeze me tight with that sweet little pussy; I know you need to so bad.”

He wasn’t wrong, but you blinked with teary eyes up at Helmut and wanted nothing more than to please him and make him proud of you. “Please, m-make him stop,” you begged, “I won’t be able to hold back anymore…”

“He’s not going to stop until he comes, lutka, and you need to stay strong,” he explained, his voice soothing you slightly. “You need to be my good girl. Can you do that?”

“Yes, sir,” you whispered.

Bucky held your hips tight as he pulled your body back onto his cock, and you forced your eyes shut to try to focus on not coming. No other man had made you come in your life but Helmut, and you had no intentions of breaking that streak.

“Think you can make me come before I make you come?” Bucky challenged.

“I have to,” you answered breathlessly. “And I want you to come… I wanna make you come so bad, Bucky, please…”

“Mhmm?” he encouraged.

“Please, I want it, please come for me,” you whimpered.

“Fuck, I will,” he promised darkly, fucking you even harder.

Helmut interjected a brief instruction: “Pull out.”

Bucky nodded a little, breathing heavily as you felt his cock throb slightly, especially at the base where each movement stretched you out even more. It was so beautifully erotic and you were tensing every muscle inside you to try not to come, which helped speed him up quite a bit since you were gripping him so tight.

“Fuck,” Bucky grunted, “fuck!”

He pulled out and instantly painted your back with a roar, sliding his cock over your ass as he pumped stream after stream of come onto you. You sighed happily, satisfied that you had managed to stave off orgasm with perhaps only a few seconds to spare— you’d never been so happy to make someone come before because this time it brought relief that you had done well for your Baron.

Then again, you always felt that way when you made the man himself come, but this was different because you had been moments away from failing him.

Speaking of the Baron, he stared down at you proudly the whole time, kneeling down slightly to swipe his finger through the cooling spend on your back and bring it to your open lips. “Mm, you really are my perfect little girl,” he mumbled as you sucked his finger diligently. But he turned his attention away from you to call out across the room, “Sam! It’s your turn.”

Your eyes went wide. “W-wait, Helmut, I’ll come!”

“No, you won’t,” he hissed, eyes darkening again, “because I told you not to.”

And Sam was already behind you, taking Bucky’s place who had already cleaned himself up a bit and returned to his seat, letting the Baron pour him a drink which he gulped down in one go.

When Sam pushed into the end of you, your natural instinct was to arch your back up to try to keep him from going too deep, but he growled and pushed your back down again with a strong hand that made you feel so small for a moment. “No, baby, no running away… you’re gonna take it all.”

“Yes, daddy,” you breathed, yelping a little when he roughly shoved in that last inch.

From then on, he went much harder on you than Bucky had, spanking you and gripping your ass while he fucked you, and the most embarrassing part was how much harder it made it to keep from coming. It was clear that he realized making you come would give him power over everyone else in the room for different reasons, and he was determined to gain that power.

“Does he fuck you this good, huh?” he groaned.

“He fucks me better,” you shot back right away, making Helmut chuckle slightly.

“If your plan is to make her switch allegiances, you’ll have to do better than that,” Helmut taunted, and Sam doubled his efforts as one hand pinched your clit and the other groped your breast. You almost lost it right there but managed to pull yourself together, your whole body shaking with the effort to keep the pleasure at bay.

“Well, if he can fuck you better then why doesn’t he?” Sam continued his leading questions, even though you could barely keep up a conversation at this point. “Why does he keep pimping you out to us if he’s fucking you right all on his own?”

“Don’t you understand?” you breathed, your head falling down onto the bed as you were almost able to look back enough to see his face. “This is my punishment. He knows I don’t want anyone else; that’s why you’re here.”

Sam smiled, perhaps in pity, and yet you honestly had to close your eyes because his smile was so lovely that it could’ve brought an end to your restraint. “Poor thing, he’s really got you whipped. I… still can’t believe I’m doing this, but you feel too good to stop now.”

He yanked your head back by your hair for emphasis, making you yelp as he fucked you brutally. Your toes curled and your fingers dug into the sheets, and you had to close your eyes because the way Helmut was staring at you made this all much too difficult. Maybe it was just that he didn’t seem jealous at all, or angry; but he didn’t seem like he was getting any excess pleasure out of this, either. It was… almost neutral, but something burned behind his eyes brighter than maybe you’d ever seen it, his legs crossed and his fingers interlaced as he waited for you to either hold or break.

With the top half of your body fallen limply onto the bed, you reached out above your head and felt Helmut’s hand grab yours, squeezing slightly, and it helped keep you grounded as you held his fingers.

“Oh fuck, ‘m gonna come,” Sam groaned out his warning, “gonna cover this pretty ass in my come, you want that?”

“Yes, please,” you shuddered.

“Keep begging for it,” he demanded, rushing his words as you felt his cock start to throb against your walls with his impending orgasm.

“Please come, please come, please come on me, Sam, please,” you chanted, over and over, struggling not to come and hoping that if you could speed him up, then you could make it.

He grunted through his teeth as hot ropes of seed covered your ass; though your body was left wanting, dangling on the edge so close to your release, your mind was satisfied that you had managed to follow your Baron’s rules.

Sam stepped back to admire his work, finding another spare robe to cover himself with as he rejoined the other men across the room.

“Would you like a drink as well?” Helmut offered to Sam, unfortunately letting go of your hand in the process. Sam was still catching his breath, running his hands over his short hair as if he was processing everything.

“No, but are those cigars up for grabs?” Sam replied, pointing to the ornate box propped open, and Helmut nodded.

“Of course; what’s mine is yours,” he answered, presenting the box and lighter to him.

“Yeah, you can say that again,” Sam added flatly, the three of them all looking at where you were sitting, covered in come and waiting patiently for your next command.

Just as you feared they’d all have their cigars and whiskey and ignore you completely, your Baron knelt down to look at you face-to-face, smiling proudly.

“You did so good for me, darling,” he cooed, and your insides clenched as if you could come just from hearing that. “You don't think I'm horribly cruel, do you?"

"No, sir," you smiled weakly.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised with a kiss to the tip of your nose as he stepped away to the master bathroom.

You glanced at the other men— Bucky with his crystal glass of whiskey, Sam puffing at the cigar stoically— and wondered what, if anything, you could possibly say.

“So, how’s your weekend been so far?” Sam asked you plainly, breaking the silence.

“It’s only Friday night,” you realized, sighing as you tried not to imagine how much debauchery the Baron had in store for you. Right now you were so exhausted that it sounded like too much work; and you were so desperate only for Helmut that the idea of anybody else being involved intimidated you.

Helmut returned quickly with a washcloth, sitting beside you on the bed and placing it gently on your back.

“As pretty as you look covered in come, I’d rather not make too much of a mess,” Helmut explained as he wiped you down with the damp cloth, your skin tingling and your body crying out for more of his touch.

“Will you fuck me, sir?” you mumbled, somewhere between an honest question and a desperate plea.

“Yes, I will,” he answered, making you hum happily, “and I’m finally going to let you come.”

You bit down on your lip, trying not to moan just from hearing that.

“But I’m not going to let you stop.”

The lump in your throat was impossible to swallow, but you tried anyway as he tossed the rag away and circled the bed, standing behind where you were laying limply. He grabbed you by your ankles and pulled you down to where he needed you, covering your body with his as he kissed the back of your neck slowly.

“I bet you’ll come the moment I’m inside you, draga,” he whispered. You nodded in agreement, gasping a bit as you felt his cock teasing your swollen, sore pussy. Just the tip bumping into your clit was enough to make you think you could come right there, you’d been on the edge so long.

But then he pushed into you in one stroke, not rough yet enough to reignite the soreness of being filled by two men already, and your walls started to pulse around him. A million words swirled in your mind, words about how perfect he felt and how you’d missed him so much and how no one could fuck you like he could, but none of them made it to your mouth where you could only moan loudly.

He wrapped his arms around you, he kissed everywhere he could reach, and waves of pleasure washed over you until tears filled your eyes. You lost count immediately, coming on his cock over and over as you became a limp, whimpering mess right away.

“You two really did miss out,” Helmut taunted the other men between his own moans, “it feels so fucking amazing to be inside her when she comes. She gets tighter every time… blyat, so tight I can hardly control myself.”

It was already hot to hear him speak to you like that in these moments, but for him to speak to someone else, to keep you from forgetting that you weren’t alone and that these men had just fucked you and were watching you come right now? You hadn’t even imagined before what that would be like.

“Please, please, sir, please,” you chanted, your voice breaking until you could barely whisper.

“What is it that you want, lutka? Do you even know what you’re begging for anymore?”

“I want whatever you want, sir, please,” you cried. He reached around your body to rub your throbbing clit, and you all but screamed.

“I know you do, beautiful, I know,” he breathed, kissing your back and shoulder tenderly to calm you. “I love you so much, draga, you know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, I love you too, Helmut,” you whispered, “more than anything. I love being yours.”

“Aw,” you heard Bucky briefly sigh.

“Dude, shut up,” Sam corrected him harshly.

“It’s sweet!” Bucky defended.

“It’s weird; this is all so weird,” Sam frowned.

“You didn’t seem to mind before…” Bucky trailed off.

Two of Helmut’s fingers swiped over your open lips and you immediately sucked them into your mouth with a satisfied hum, the taste of his skin always comforting you. When he rolled you onto your side, it was so much easier for him to touch you wherever he wanted and it only did more to keep you overwhelmed with pleasure until you worried you couldn’t take much more. But you kept sucking his fingers, tears still falling which he occasionally kissed away, until he took his hand away to wrap around your neck instead. You nodded a little to let him know it was okay to choke you, and your loud moans fell to sudden silence when he tightened his grip.

It made your eyes roll back, it made your walls flutter and your toes start to go numb, it made you wonder if you were going to pass out whether or not he let you breathe again because your body was already ready to give in.

You sucked in a gasp when he let go, sobbing his name as a particularly deep thrust knocked you right into your peak again. He kept one hand on your neck as the other reached between your legs to play with your abused pussy as he fucked it harder than ever.

“I can’t come anymore,” you assured, shaking your head and trying to push his hand away from your sore clit. “I— I can’t…”

“Yes, you can, draga, I know you can. Just relax and let me keep making you feel good,” he instructed, somehow both gentle and demanding all at once.

“I… I can’t…” you breathed, nearly incomprehensible between thick sobs, but you were already coming again in spite of your words, shocks of pleasure electrifying your body from the inside out. He choked you out into silence again, praising you all the way through it.

“There you go, shh, it’s all right,” he soothed, “you’re so beautiful, darling, so good for me, just keep going…”

You reached back to lace your fingers into his hair and tug, which did nothing to deter him from kissing your neck just beneath where his thumb gripped it, same as your hand wrapped tightly around his wrist didn’t stop him from quickly rubbing your clit.

Breath filled your lungs when he let go, and you were so desperate for relief that you felt like you weren’t even in control of your words anymore.

"Please come inside me," you begged mindlessly, "please, I need you so bad, please…"

“Is that what you need?” he groaned. “You need to be full of my seed?”

“Yes, please, want it deep in me— fuck, Helmut, please!”

He growled and bit your ear lightly, mumbling his promise to fill you up in Sokovian— sometimes you thought he spoke Sokovian when he was about to come because he was so distracted that he forgot English, but you didn’t think that at the moment because you were currently too cockdrunk to think about anything.

His low moan echoed right through your body as you felt his cock flex and throb with each pump of come, just as deep as you’d wanted, and you sighed happily at the familiar feeling, finally relaxing into the mattress.

But perhaps you relaxed a little too soon because he made you come one more time after he’d filled you, whispering something about he wanted to use your pussy to milk every drop from his cock, but after that finally he pulled out, and you collapsed face-down onto the bed, ready to pass out even though the sun was only just beginning to set and you’d slept until noon earlier.

“Well, I think we sufficiently knocked her out,” Sam chuckled.

“‘We’?” Helmut repeated, sounding a bit offended yet bemused as he redressed.

“Okay fine, you did most of the heavy lifting, but only cause you wouldn’t let her come for us,” Sam relented with a frown.

“I swear, I was this close to getting her to break,” Bucky interjected, sighing before taking another slow sip of his (third) drink.

“Yeah, what would’ve happened if one of us made her come, anyway?” Sam wondered aloud. “She seemed pretty worried about whatever punishment you had in store for her.”

“Nothing too terrible,” Helmut shrugged, “I just would’ve fucked her in the ass.”

Bucky choked on his whiskey as Sam tried and failed to suppress a smirk.

“She lets you do that?!” Bucky blurted out between fits of coughing.

“She lets me do whatever I want,” Helmut replied, “I’m surprised that hasn’t become abundantly clear to you by now.”

“I guess we’re still adjusting to it, that’s all,” Sam explained. “I don’t know about you,” he looked at Bucky, “but this is new for me.”

“I was born in 1917; everything is new for me,” Bucky frowned.

“Well, this is new for us too,” Helmut assured, “especially her, she was so inexperienced when she met me…”

He paused for a moment to reminisce before glancing at you lying prone on the bed and looked totally fucked-out.

“But look at her now!” he finished. “She takes it all in stride.”

“Yeah, she’s a trooper alright,” Sam agreed. “Be careful with her, Zemo, ‘cause I think if you hurt her too bad, Bucky here is gonna be waiting in the wings to steal her.”

“I— what?!” Bucky snorted defensively.

“Don’t think we can’t see you giving her googly eyes, not that I blame you or anything… getting deepthroated for the first time will definitely make you catch feelings,” Sam smirked before taking a puff of the cigar again.

“It’s not like that, I’m just… listen, I guess I’m just a bit more conventional than you perverts,” he frowned. “I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or anything, I just can’t imagine having a girl like that all to myself and letting anybody else lay a finger on her.”

“Not everyone is as insecure as you, James,” Helmut shrugged. “Women can’t be stolen. They can only go where they want to. And she wants to be with me.”

He turned back to ask you if you agreed, but you were already fast asleep. Smiling slightly, he grabbed a blanket from the foot of the bed and unfolded it to drape over you; you instinctively cuddled up under it without waking up, letting out a quiet sigh.

“Goodnight, draga,” he whispered with a kiss to your forehead. “Rest well, you’ll need it for the morning.”

#baron zemo x reader #helmut zemo x reader #bucky barnes x reader #sam wilson x reader #helmut zemo smut #bucky barnes smut #sam wilson smut

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yandere-wishes · 3 years

Text

MONSTERS

👹 Yandere Ryomen Sukuna x Reader

👹Summary: Monsters aren’t born they're made, but Sukuna stumbles across the rare exception...

👹Warning: dehumanization, mention of gore, blood, slight dub-con mentioned in passing, death, past trauma, and abuse

👹 Edited: By the lovely @tealyjade-libran !

👹 Wordcount: 2,480

👹Alternative Tittle : If Roxanne ( from the Police song) lived in ancient Japan.

👹First Jujutsu kaisen fic! I hope you guys like it, please let me know your thoughts! Likes and reblogs appreciated!

Monsters were made.

Slowly created as once blazing ideals, withered and died under harsh strokes of reality. Stitched together with broken promises and the ashes of rotting memories.

Monsters were made

whisked into a role they once dreaded, once feared. Beaten into the role of the villain, the reprobate, the sinner.

If anyone ever asked Sukuna when was the exact moment he turned his back on the laws of "good" and "evil", shedding his human skin to regrow a pelt of hate and destruction,

He would simply answer, "Never".

Because skin is skin no matter how much it decays. Even if the epidermis turns into a rotting orange shade, littered with eyeballs and teeth that shouldn't grow there.Even if the blood from all those he's slain has finally stained his dermis, tainting it in a permanent crimson that all the waters of Lake Biwa could never wash off. Even if his hypodermis is no longer made of fatty tissue but rather spiritual energy sucked from the atmosphere. It's still skin, the same old skin he was born with.

Sukuna had never shed his skin, he'd only perfected it, enhanced it, molded it into its perfect form, until he was no longer held back by foolish human limitations.

He'd never been "reborn" only recreated; only perfected.

Spike, talon and teeth covered arms sprouting from oozing, bleeding scars, charred over by begriming infections that burned worse than the strikes he'd endured as a child. Knuckles and bones cracking over and over and over again until they grew as solid as the rocks that were thrown at him when he was all too little to understand the malice behind the insults and threats. Breaking until they could break no more, until they'd become strong enough to split a boulder with a mere flick.

There had come a time when he'd given up licking his wounds, leaving them to be kissed by the mold-covered worms who left an urticating sensation he'd soon come to associate with victory. Rotting flesh growing covered in thick layers of black tar tattoos that hid every cut he'd endured when he'd once been too weak.

Monsters were created from quarter truths buried neck-deep in fables that snipped like red-eyed scorpions.

Until the blood dancing through their veins was as black as the void they now called home.

Sukuna knew the exact moment he realized he was a monster. The day he realized he liked the crunch of skulls beneath his feet, the pitiful spark in mortified eyes staring at the heavens for a scrap of mercy. Mangled mouths barely held together by fractured jaw bones, uttering prayers and pleas that died in the scorching air.

Sukuna knew he was an abnormality, patched together by broken heirlooms and shattered family traditions. Sitting on a throne made from skulls of those who thought they could ever kill him.

You can't kill a monster, for you can not kill that which was never born.

You can't slay something made from good intentions with malevolent methods, something so vile that it might actually be pure. At the end of the day, no monster really admits that it is a monster, a nightmare that should have never existed.

Yet...

Tattered hearts and cruel orbs are never quite enough. No monster is complete until they dive off that last edge, plummet into the sea of nothingness, and finally, finally break their souls on the spiked soil. Monsters, spirits, curses any malicious being that had been mended together like a half-done ragdoll was not complete until they truly let go. Until they erased all the former humanity that they had been born with. Until their eyes reflected nothing, no emotions, no malice, no want, no need. Just the absolute emptiness.

The void in all its glory.

that was the symbol, the true markings of a real monstrosity. The void that took over their existence, that had replaced every inch of their former self. Only then could it be said that you were above all other beings, the true perfection of this world.

There are worse things created than monsters, things that are made from nothing and everything. Things above "Yin" and "Yang". Things that have no scrap of humanity, monstrosity, or anything in them.

Things that are just empty.

So maybe -just maybe- that's why when Sukuna's rotting orange eyes landed on the epitome of emptiness, a...girl, whose face was sculpted to disreflect emotions and intents. Someone who was the void of darkness itself. The true personification of nothingness.

His heart -for the first time in countless centuries- began to throb.

a truly dead face swarmed by a sea of buzzing ants, chasing their routine happiness. Smiles of delight and carelessness carved on their aging faces with sunlight knives and the melody of golden coins. The lust for life leaking from every pore of their bodies.

With every face being a carbon copy of each other it was no wonder yours stood out.

There was a silver chain of attraction, dragging Sukuna towards the village girl. Not love, never love, the king of curses was beyond certain, that neither you nor he could feel such a honey-laced sensation. It was more like....something. Something paranormal, inexpiable. Some magnetic force outside of everything's control.

It was easy enough to explain why he liked you. Why you stood out from the other insects of this middle-of-nowhere-village.

You had dark matter for blood and dead seas for brains.

Your eyes radiated an endless abyss. Making others shy away from your lifeless gaze. Scared to look into the void in fear that it may respond.

You were a thrown away doll,

A living dead,

A dying star,

You were the daughter of the number zero,

The monster that had no maker nor mother.

Something not born nor created.

Just an entity that roamed the earth, with no desire nor hope, no wish nor dream. Not leaving, not dying, just existing in the space between today and tomorrow.

There'd been no need for pleasantries, for hiding behind ghostly tree branches and frozen windows. There'd been no need to kill or ravage for you. No competition to eliminate, because no one ever came near you. Humans don't like what they can't explain, Sukuna knew that all too well.

Sukuna watched from a close enough distance to almost touch. Lingering around like a phantom begging to be noticed. Orbs trailing over you, but never approaching. Until one day he'd just stood still. Waited for you to turn your head just a fraction to the left, just to see him in all his menacing terror. To finally notice the clawing, crawling sensation that had been creeping up your spine like a hoard of spiders.

And when your dead eyes did finally land on him. Sukuna could swear that his breath hitched in his throat for the first time in his seemingly endless life.

You weren't human. Humans didn't have hollow faces or marbles for lips.

You weren't a curse. Curses didn't lack venom dripping from their souls.

You were something better than a monster. You were the divinity of monstrosity, the void itself. Black holes for eyes, answerless paradoxes for hands, and an endless maze where your torso should have been.

Exploding suns danced around you, burning, burning, till they died out, leaving behind no trace that they once lit up the universe.

The space after the end, that's what you were.

Perfect, to Sukuna you were perfect.

You hadn't run, hadn't screamed, hadn't even bothered to talk. You didn't care about him, couldn't care about him. That's what made him want you, made his mouth salivate with the thought of your flesh between his teeth.

That night the world stood still, as Sukuna's claws penetrated your flesh like twirling needles. You were as light as a feather. You weighed nothing, were nothing. All so easy to pluck and throw about. You never made a noise when your body collided with the bamboo walls, just letting gravity and Sukuna play a twisted ball game with your lump of a body.

You hadn't protested when he violated you. As his lips bit every inch of your body raw. For some unearthly reason that even the gods couldn't understand, would never want to understand, you had found the Curse's violent actions rather...adoring. Taking every slap and slash with the earnest pride of a small child getting praised for a day of relentless chores. letting the dawn-tinted-haired monster adorn your body in blue and purple jewels. It felt right, in a pathetically, nauseating, twisted way...it just felt right.

It was disastrous, sure, but it was right. Like two universes crashing. Destroying each other with every kiss and every bruise.

But...

For the first time in your meaningless life, you had truly understood what "happiness" felt like.

For the first time in his endless life, Sukuna had truly understood what "intimacy" felt like.

///

Was it wrong to kiss you? For a fraction of a second Sukuna hesitated, blood tinged lips hovering millimeters away from your own stone-set ones. The moon's cursed rays acting like an unnoticed barrier, keeping two things out of each other's grasp. His lips curled back revealing two rows of knife-like teeth. The last resort, a final hope that you'd run away, that you'd act somewhat normal. The king of curses, the evil among men, didn't mind your lack of regularity. He didn't mind how you leaned into every bitter strike, every painful display of fading affection . He adored how you merely giggled as he slashed open your uncharged skin, creating slits for your blood to spill through, onto his waiting tongue. He admired your lifelessness, the way you radiated death.

Oh, how you filled him with a startling aftershock every time he touched you. Every time his tongue lapped at your bleeding skin he'd feel the sort of electric shocks that came after the storms had passed. Your body had no shape, it molded to his touch, turning his favorite shades of red, with just a little pressure.

But sometimes, in fleeting, endless seconds. He wished he had a name for what you two were. You weren't his per se, you could never be his. Being his would indicate that he cared about you, or heck even loved you and that could never be true. The king of curses did not love, nor care. He merely tolerated you; you fascinated him, that's all.

It had been many moons since he first found you in that no-name village. Months upon months since you'd been by his side. You'd watched as he'd destroyed cities, helped him even. Eyes never shedding a single tear. Mouth never uttering a single protest.

The two of you had become the best, the King of curses and the Queen of nothingness. With the dying speed of laboring bees, Sukuna had carved himself inside of you. Twisted emptiness into flower-covered destruction. Into molten gold lava.

Leaving you with wounds that were stuck in a cycle of healing and opening. Until they began to harden like his. Until the need for spilled blood lingered on your tongue like the burn of boiled tea. Until under your nails were coated in a decaying crust of dried blood. Sukuna hadn't turned you into a monster, he'd simply showed you the powers that came with your apathy. With a heart as torn and cold as yours, it was a shame to let it go to waste.

"You're not half bad," his tone is never approving. It's always laced with a strictness that keeps you nailed into place. His words are oxymorons sounding like praise, but once you peel back the lather layers they're just taunts in disguise.

You don't answer, words die on your tongue as quickly as they are born. Sukuna can't even remember what your voice sounds like outside of small whispers in heat filled nights.

However, to the two of you, things like that didn't matter. Your lack of being even semi-alive and Sukuna's endless abuse had become a norm for the two of you. Where else were a two-faced monster and a lifeless girl going to find love anyway?

Sukuna was all you had, all you ever had. You'd die for him, kill for him, turn into anything for him. Because he gave you life.

A purpose to life, made out of raging fires and endless screams. A life fabricated from the pain and suffering of others. That was what the king of curses had given you, all wrapped in a human skin parchment. Maybe that's why all logic withered away the first night he kissed you, maybe from the first second that you sensed his presence you had finally gained a reason to be alive.

///

Whoever said the end of the world was beautiful? Whoever said the final days would be bright and glowing and pure?

It's just a blaze of stray flames and red crystal droplets that may or may not be your blood. Funny, Sukuna had always thought that your blood would be as black as the moonless sky, not a mundane red like everyone else's. He'd expected a grander death from you. Some sort of black hole opening to swallow the world whole. Not just another corpse motionless in a pool of their own blood.

Although he's not one to talk. His own 'death' is lingering on the horizon. Sukuna's head tilts back looking for the flashing jujutsu sorcerers.

"S-sukun-a..."

He smirks, fangs sticking out at odd angles. Your voice is sweet, for the first time in forever he'd even dare say it held some semblance of emotion.

What that emotion is, he doubts he knows or even really cares. He'd long since stopped trying to identify all those "feelings" and their associated names.

His orange eyes lock with your fading orbs, one last time. No, not the last time, just the final time in this lifetime. He's sure he's going to see you again. In any other life, Sukuna knows he'll be able to recognize you despite whatever flesh suit you'd be wearing.

"Shh little one," he's halfway gone before he finishes his sentence, leaving you to relish in his memory in your final moments. "We'll see each other once more, someday in another life..."

His four eyes lock on the approaching sorcerers. He finds it humorous how desperate they look. How alive and ready they seem, such a stark contrast to your ever lifeless face and dead eyes, it repulses him.

"Or maybe in one of the circles of hell."

The flames encircling his fingers remind him of the heat your body radiated in the dead of night. The crack from bones hum as they meet his knuckles, flash memories of your days wasted together doing nothing and everything.

The two of you will meet once more, he's sure of it. After all...

Monsters never die.

How could something that was never even born in the first place, ever die?

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animeyanderelover · 3 years

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Hey uhh I really liked the Killua with ADHD s/o so... Ciel, Levi, Hange, Shaiapouf and Meruem, with ADHD reader (in the form of headcanons) .. also take your time :)

Wow, not gonna lie. I was already happy when I finally got to write something about the Chimera Ants already once. But to be able to write about a few of them again. I apologize if I didn’t get something accurate.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, obsessiveness, possessiveness, threatening, degrading, delusions, ADHD, violence, brutal behavior, killing

ADHD: ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, a complex brain disorder. ADHD is a development impairment of the brain’s executive functions. It causes trouble with impulse-control, focusing and organization.

s/o has ADHD

Ciel Phantomhive

☕️Ciel isn't the best nor is he the worst to have with his darling having ADHD. He doesn't hate you for it, he knows you can't do anything against it since it's not your fault. You were just born with it and there's nothing you could have done. So he does try to be as understanding and patient with you as possible. But keep in mind that Ciel can get rather easily annoyed if his buttons are pushed the right way. So I feel like if he realizes that he's near his limit, he would somewhat push you away and let Sebastian or the other servants deal with you. This might hurt your feelings, but Ciel is actually frightened that he'll say something hurtful to you and for that leaves you. Would later on apologize and try to make it up to you. He himself isn't very familiar with ADHD, but is a smart boy and has his demon butler with him.

☕If you should tend to lose motivation and focus quickly, lose your things and don't seem to listen too someone when being talked to then you actually don't have to worry too much. Because Sebastian and the servants will do anything for you, meaning you don't have to worry about being forced to do cores. You losing things can of course annoy Ciel, especially if they were expensive or he needed them himself. Luckily his butler finds them always quickly. He would grow definitely a lot more controlling over his s/o because they keep forgetting things, leading him to scheduling out their whole day from the moment they wake up to the moment they go back to bed. Ciel also tries to not make you focus on something too long since you lose quickly interest. It's agitating in a way for him since he hates it when he gets the feeling that you don't pay attention to him, but he reminds himself that you can't do anything against it.

☕If you should be the more hyperactive one, Ciel will definitely have to leave you very often alone. Ciel isn't good with very energetic and loud people since he's constantly surrounded by such persons. He really does extend his string of patience a lot with you, but he feels kind of insulted whenever you suddenly blurt in when he's talking. Also nearly goes crazy whenever you can't sit still for a minute somewhere, tapping your feet and playing with your fingers. Your hyperactivity exhausts him and the only reason he puts up with it without lashing out on you is because you can't do anything against it and because he loves you. Hates leaving you alone because he's afraid that you'll climb up somewhere or touch some weapons or things which might hurt you. So whilst it makes him tick off, he will have you stick near him very often and if he needs to calm down, he'll order Sebastian to watch over you since that guy's the most capable of handling you.

☕Reputation is important for Ciel and as arrogant this may sound, feel like he wouldn't tell many people about you since he doesn't want to be judged for being in love with someone many nobles would describe as 'unsuitable'. He can gladly pass on the whole 'You-could-have-chosen-better' talk. A less selfish reason is that he is due to the way you are incredibly overprotective of you. Next to being a bit embarassed, he understands that you would probably not want to hear others talking trash about you. He lives in a very difficult time where people were more judging than they might be today. This openmindness wasn't as present as today and behavior was especially under people from higher society very important. Ciel knows that and it leads him to shielding you from the outside world.

☕I feel like the people in the manor are all really open-minded and would accept you open-heartedly which will lift a bit weight from Ciel's shoulders. Sebastian has infinite patience and Bardroy, Tanaka, Mey-Rin and Finny just really like his darling. It gives Ciel the feeling that he can trust and rely on them and whilst he definitely keeps a sharp eye on the human servants since they tend to be more clumsy which might end in an accident. After Sebastian Tanaka might be the most trusted, that is if he is in his real form. This gives Ciel a sense of ease because when he hurt you unintended, he knows he can count on them to be there for you and comfort you. Mey-Rin, Finny, Bardroy and Tanaka will over time grow just as their master overprotective over you.

Shaiapouf

🎻Here we have to keep in mind that Shaiapouf changed his type and behavior for his darling. I think during the first time when he was a stricter Yandere, he had a harder time dealing with this. Because back then it was all about perfection for Shaiapouf and this was somewhat of a flaw his darling had. After reading a whole day books about it, he did get that his s/o didn't choose to be this way, but it led him to being a bit harsh on them neverthless. When he reached the point of total adoration and devotion, that changed of course and all of a sudden, his view on all of this changed. It wasn't any longer a flaw, it was a unique trait his royalty had and Shaiapouf swore to himself to treat them like a loyal servant should.

🎻During the first stage he definitely tended to be very controlling, probably even forcing you into doing things even when you lost focus and/or motivation. At that time Shaiapouf just had very high expectations for you and you just happened to go against his perfect and ideal picture he had in mind. He forced you to educate yourself better, he forced you into learning the violin or another instrument, all because this perfect image of you was stuck in his head. And he scolded you every time he noticed that you stopped doing it once again. It was definitely not an easy time. So when he entered his worshipper mode it is most likely a huge relief for his darling. Because now he doesn't care about all of this anymore, the only thing he is focused on is protecting his king/queen and keep them happy. Now he doesn't lash out when you lose your things or seem to not listen to him. He's past total devotion and infatuation and due to his never-ending amount of patience with you a lot easier to be with. You don't have to move a finger anymore because he insists on doing anything for you now.

🎻The stricter version of him also wouldn't tolerate it if you should be too energetic, keep interrupting him or can't sit still without somehow move your limps or even do indecent things. He always tries to keep in mind that it's somewhat of a sickness, but for him it was then all about manners and good behavior and so he did try to forcefully change your way of being, always scolding you and trying to teach you how to act properly. For a worshipper Shaiapouf this is a no-go and even thinking back on how he even dared to think that he had the authority to try to change his already and always perfect majesty has him devastatedly sobbing. HOW DARE HE?! Now he honestly doesn't care anymore when you interrupt him, constantly act energetic or even scream at him in excitement. He's obsessive and due to that tends to focus really intensely on your behavior, he's beyond relieved that he didn't damage you with his previous way of acting. His majesty shouldn't change because of him. The only thing that makes him badly paranoid is when you act a bit too reckless which might end with you getting hurt. This makes Shaiapouf always fly panicked to you, preventing you from doing whatever you were about to do and try to coax you into doing something where he knows you won't get hurt.

🎻He used to somewhat degrade you and make you feel bad about yourself before too, inveighing constantly that you should and could do better if you would just try a bit harder. It has him going on a crying rampage later on because even thinking about how he used to say those words at you and not caring when you looked hurt at him inflicts an unbelievable amount of pain onto him. If he should ever even think that you still resent him for it, you have him kneeling in front of you whilst sobbing and begging for forgiveness even though he knows he doesn't deserve it. That's the exact reason he is even more anxious of ever letting you under humans again. He's frightened that they will not only kill you, but also talk down to you because of your ADHD. It gives him nasty heart attacks all the time and if he should ever find out that there was someone in your old hometown that bullied you because of this, he will remove named disgrace shortly after because it makes him absolutely furious when he hears that someone didn't respects and worships you the way he does. Blames also himself for not making you feel worthy enough if you yourself should think lowly of yourself.

🎻You all can probably guess it, but after becoming a worshipper, it will become a lot more easier for the s/o to endure life a bit better with Shaiapouf because now he doesn't see their ADHD as a flaw anymore, but as a special trait that has to be adored and protected. He will do now about anything and everything for you. Shaiapouf is in this case even more dependent on your approval because he's horrified of how unworthy he used to treat you and misreads things constantly, instantly blaming it on how he used to be. It can be as much as you reacting a bit too late to him because you weren't focused and then you already have him crying. He's still a lot to deal with, but it's better for your mental health to not be discriminated for your ADHD anymore and being told that you could do better.

Meruem

👑Just like Pouf, he had a change in his overall behavior which needs to be looked over. Let's just say that at first he was totally terrifying with dealing and accepting it. Different from Pouf he's the type to blame you for this even if you really couldn't do anything about it. It's a dangerous gamble in here because he used to expect total obedience and behavior from you and annoying him or going against his wishes ended with him hurting and scaring you on a daily base. After he had his transformation to a slightly better Yandere, he became totally fascinated with this, suddenly being interested a lot more about ADHD and informing himself properly.

👑It won't go well if you don't stay focused whilst he is doing something with you or he gets the impression that you don't listen when he's talking to you. It ends with him talking terribly down to you, pocking cruel fun at you for being so stubborn, dumb and weak and can even end with him hurting you physically when he's had enough. Later on he would be still somewhat grumpy and annoyed whenever you forget things or lose focus and don't listen to him. But now he came to the terms of accepting that this isn't your fault to start with and for that won't lash out on you anymore. He just checks on you and makes sure that you don't forget to look after your own health.

👑Being loud and interrupting others because you can't wait for your turn might be even worse than being unfocused and forgetful in here. Meruem is a king, you have to treat him like one and obey him. And being all impatient, not letting him finish his sentences and even yelling at him is such a huge sign of disrespect that Meruem used to think that you are either out of your mind or have a death wish. It ended so often with you crying afterwards, either because he had terrorized you or really hurt you. That changed of course later on, he still was somewhat annoyed by all of this, but now he just tends to clamp a hand over your mouth when he realizes that you're about to suddenly start speaking again. He doesn't like being interrupted. He proves to have more tolerance with you constantly being hyped up and even expects his royal guards, execept Pouf, to be ready to troll around with you when you seem too energetic. Since he knows that you can be very careless, he never lets you leave his sight, especially when his butterfly servant or another chimera ant is around.

👑He honestly used to be the worst when it came to talking bad to you and about you. He called you weak, pathetic, useless and many other things. He just thought that you should be grateful for him to even keep you since you were a sore for his eyes to see. But he also saw himself at that time as the only one who was allowed to talk like this, ending in him killing everyone who did the same. He owned you and only he had the right to do this to you. That changed after he softened up. Now he kills everyone who talks bad about you because he cares and I believe Shaiapouf might just really get himself killed because he simply does not see you as a worthy partner for his king.

👑Neferpitou and Youpi adore you and whilst Meruem is on alert whenever they are near you, it's nothing compared to hen Pouf is with you in the room. Meruem will never, NEVER, trust this guy when he's near you. The only person he really trusts you around is Komugi, since he cares about her as well and since Komugi never judges you to begin with. He feels sorry if he should have left any sort of trauma on you because he used to try to really break you so you would finally behave. That makes him really careful when he's now acting around you because he's somewhat worried he'll break you if he isn't gentle enough with you.

Hanji/Hange Zoë

🔬Hanji is someone who doesn't care about this at all. They're incredibly open-minded with everything and tend to be very special and peculiar in their own sense. Similar to their fascination with Titans, they will suddenly become to an unhealthy extent curious about ADHD, staying up nights to read books and maybe even ask people who know someone who has this disorder. It adds oddly up to their obsession they have with you and whenever you do something that is connected to this, they get scarily interested about it. Their interest about ADHD would go because of their darling from zero to thousand in only a short amount of time.

🔬Hange doesn't mind it that much if you don't really pay attention to things even though it can be a bit embarassing from time to time since they tend to start rambling exitedly about things only to realize a lot more later that you stopped listening ages ago. But Hange isn't someone who gets discouraged very easily and won't blame you for it. They are very lenient when it comes to you forgetting things, since they are a bit like you in that matter, even though they only forget things which aren't important for them. Also shows a lot of tolerance when you keep forgetting to do your cores or just lose motivation in it. They are also on the messier and forgetful side when it comes to taking care of themself. But what counts for them, doesn't count for you so the moment they thing you start lacking to look after your own health or the conditions you live in because of your laziness become too extreme, they will step in and help you with cleaning up. Whilst trying to keep you as motivated for as long as possible, they won't be angry or disappointed if they have to do it alone because you lost motivation.

🔬If you should show symptoms of hyperactivity and too much enthusiasm and excitement, you're a match made in heaven for Hanji, even though Levi tends to call you two a match made in hell because now he has to endure two of you. But honestly, Hanji shows a lot of similarities in this case. They can be really thrilled and driven by an invisible motor as well, not to mention that if they're too excited about something, they tend to cut people off before they finished speaking as well. But they do know when to stay quiet or become more serious whilst you don't, but it isn't like Hanji gets ever annoyed or angry with you. They find it even quite endearing since you remind them so much of themself. For the most part they will let you be, even though definitely stopping you when realizing that you're about to get too reckless. I can see them as even being the type of person who will be all excited with you together and do stupid things together. Not only because they just really enjoy being silly together, but also to look after you.

🔬They're not surprisingly very much angered whenever someone makes a wrong comment about their darling's way of acting around. Hange knows that people tend to get annoyed with heir darling and even see them as a nuisance. And that makes them mad. They really have no tolerance for such people who think they can judge someone without even knowing how they feel. And it's their darling we're talking about after all which makes them even more furious. Even Levi has to be a bit more careful. Hange definitely shows a lot more patience with him, Erwin and people they're close too, but even here they can become eerily quiet the moment someone says something too extreme or they notice that you're hurt. Whilst not caring what other people, except their darling, think about them, they care very much when it comes to whether people think bad about their s/o or not. Especially if you should feel insecure they would be a lot more on alert.

🔬Hanji's acceptance is a good thing to have since they don't judge you or get annoyed with you being like you are. They want you to be yourself after all. They don't baby you like many others, but it does lead to them becoming a bit more clingy, especially if you're the hyperactive type. If you don't live together with them, they always pop up very often to check if they have to help you a bit or not. Also has this odd quirk of making notes about your behavior because at this point it's safe to say that they reached the point of unhealthy obsessiveness, everything you do is being absobered by them. It's a bit unhinging to witness, but it makes it easier for Hanji to deal with your behavior even better since they know at some point what to expect and how to counter if it might endanger you. One thing, you're not going to be scout under any means because Hanji totally fears that either you'll lose focus or get too overxcited, and not in a good way.

Levi Ackerman

⚔️At the beginning it might be a bit more hard for Levi to adjust to all of this. Given the fact that he's obsessive and collects rapidly informations about you, he'll find out about this very early on, talking to neighbours, your friends and other people you're familiar with. And of course he'll start informing himself about all of this, but he has just a short string of patience and is easy to annoy. He knows he really can't let his ire out on you since you can't do anything about it, but sometimes your behavior just really tugs on his nerves since he isn't the best with people who are either unfocused or too active for their own good. So similar to Ciel at the beginning he might distance himself out of fear to say something too harsh to you. He doesn't want to scare you.

⚔️Levi would step in a lot into your private life if you should keep forgetting to clean up a lot and lose daily things. Neglecting hygiene, tidiness and maybe even your own health is such a huge red cross for him. He would be definitely a lot more controlling than usual and come over everyday to check on you and the condition your house is in. And if he thinks it isn't cleaned up? Guess who's staying for a bit longer to wash and scrub, doing your laundry and organizing your things? He might even try due to that to speed things up to get you to move in with him quicker so he can really make sure that you will never forget about such important things again. I can funnily see him as someone who won't be as mad as some people might think he would be. He's of course pissed that you either forget to look after the house and you or just lack motivation, but it gets attenuated due to him knowing that you don't do it because you're really lazy or because you aren't interested in it. He will still try to push you into at least helping a bit, but he can and will play the role of the housewife. Prefers it maybe even that way since he gets things done like he wants too.

⚔️With a more pumped up darling he will have troubles at first. It isn't like he isn't used to such people, he knows quite a few of those. But with his s/o this is just a bit of a different story since he really tries to avoid being harsh or mean to them which he would have been normally with those kind of persons. He might seek some advice from Hange since he knows that he is not the best when it comes to being patient. He might even let you spend time with them when he gets a bit overwhelmed with your energy since despite being annoyed with them most of the time, Levi trusts them. He would be gone for a bit to collect his thoughts before coming back with his emotions having calmed down. Will with time however learn how to deal with you being all bubbly and hyped. But he also will definitely watch over you more carefully since due to your too active personality you tend to do things that might be dangerous. It's one of the reasons he often gets mad at Hanji when he has to leave you alone. They are willing to do such things with you which triggers his overprotective side a lot.

⚔️Disrespectful brats aren't tolerated from him in all scenarios. But when it comes to disrespecting his darling, his reaction is definitely the most intense one. Whilst Levi admits that he himself struggles sometimes and finds himself annoyed by this, he would never insult you on purpose and if he does he apologizes later on. There's of course a difference between just pointing something out or really being mean with the intention to be. Levi can tell which is which and will act accordingly. He doesn't say anything if someone just points something out with the intention of wanting to be friendly since he's like this as well. But if someone insults you or pokes fun at you that's a different story in which Levi will shove someone's face into the dirt with demanding an apology. Would be a bit nagging when you seem to get discouraged very easily, complaining that you're too sensitive, but would still be in the end always comfort you when you're down.

⚔️Will literally not let you do anything dangerous since he's worried you'll lose focus and hurt yourself because you aren't careful enough. If you should even mention that you want to be a scout or anything like this, you'll have him instantly being over you and ordering you to stop thinking such a ridiculous thing. Levi tends to overthink everything a bit due to you having ADHD. Hange is probably the person he's the most calm around when with you since he knows that they are the last person who would judge you and from all persons he knows, he just has the most trust in them even though he tends to give them a rather long and harsh lecture whenever they tried something stupid with you.

#yandere black butler #yandere kuroshitsuji #yandere ciel #yandere ciel phantomhive #yandere attack on titan #yandere aot #yandere shingeki no kyojin #yandere snk #yandere hanji #yandere hange #yandere hanji zoë #yandere hange zoë #yandere levi #yandere levi ackerman #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #yandere shaiapouf #yandere meruem

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savnofilter · 4 years

Text

Kinktober Day 1

dabi

☠️ warning(s): 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕥 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕪, somnophilia, fingering, loss of virginity, con-dubcon.

☠️ genre: smut, holiday special.

☠️ words: 2.9k words [11 minutes, 40 seconds].

☠️ read more: kinktober(uary)

☠️ summary: dabi wanted to preserve you for as long as he could, until one morning your beauty was too much for him to just observe.

The sun's beams were what woke him up. His nocturnal nature surprisingly let him sleep in this time, the presence next to him making it possible for him. Not hiding the secret factor of Japan's summer heat doing him in as much as the rest of the league's humid rooms.

He rolled over to blatantly look at you, hiding back the feeling to smile at your peaceful slumber. His eyes scanned as you also fell victim to the hot heat, small amounts of sweat coating your skin. Dabi couldn't help but let his cyan orbs wander, the more his eyes traveled your body the more his mind started to race. He couldn’t help but feel like you were something sacred, the times you did ask him about certain topics lived rent-free in his mind. Most times, your questions were raised when the off-hand perverted comment was made by Shigaraki with no filter, opening an opportunity for you to talk with Dabi about certain topics.

“You’d like to try it?” Dabi asks looking over at you, his head tilting to look at your face better and smirking playfully at your blush.

“I-I mean yeah! If you wanted… I know you have more experience in this stuff…” You ramble off, shyly hiding into his hoodie. “Just take care of me, okay?”

You two hadn't done anything… intimate yet. Most times Dabi had to teach you things, and the furthest you had ever gone was letting him touch and show you how to pleasure yourself to your embarrassment. As much as you showed disdain for not knowing as much as an adult your age knew, Dabi loved it. It was something about your innocence that always made him want to wait. To hear you beg for him to take you, to show you what other things you could learn.

His actions were teetering on the right and wrongs, his thoughts slowly but surely egging him on to move closer to you. Dabi was taking a heavy leap of faith, not wanting to lose a relationship over a loss of control. The bed moved a bit, the slight movement accentuating the subtle jiggle of certain places that made him smirk. His hand moved to carefully sweep any miscellaneous hairs on your face that either fell out of your bonnet or lost its way in your poorly done bun.

His hand took a minute to rub your cheek, his free arm moving to support him on the pillow as his other hand ventured down your body. His touches were light, almost as if a ghost was touching human flesh for the first time in a while. His front had successfully pressed up against your back, his growing boner pressing against your underwear-clad butt. He felt you shift just a bit at the feeling, a small but mischievous glint coming to his face as your body unknowingly snuggles into his.

The forgotten hand now rested on your body, his unnaturally warm hand played with the bottom of your tank. His hand slipped under just a bit, his hand softly caressing your skin and letting his hold slowly make it up to your body. He didn't miss how your breasts strained against your struggling top, his hand not helping it either. His palms started to heat up, noting the way your body positively responded to the touch.

His fingers grope one of your tits, playing with the bud of your hardening nipple. The feeling of your breast pressed against his palm was doing wonders to him; your innocent and sleeping form adjusting slowly to his soft and sensual touches. Dabi leans down to kiss at your neck, his other coming up to take its place with you playing with your chest, the other tugging down your underwear enough to expose your cooter to him. His deep groan comes from his chest as his left-hand heats up in fondling you, tugging the bud before rubbing the erect nipple. His right hand cupped your sex, his fingers testing the waters and pulling away from your neck to see your face. To his delight your face had increasingly softened, your lips now slightly parted and your brows scrunched just a bit at the sensation he was giving your nerves.

Dabi decided to up the ante, using his middle finger to rub your clit. His eyes caught the way your hips moved to ride his digit, making the corporate decision to warm his fingers. Your breath slowly picks up in an aroused cycle, your untouched body not sure what to do with itself. He continued to rub your clit, observing once your cunt started to slick up and you had finally stirred from your slumber.

You had no proper words to start or explain the sensation you were feeling, the thing you could was let the sounds of pleasure leave your lips. “I -- haaaah…~” You breathed out. Your eyes looked up at his with a loveful lust, his cock twitching in excitement at the confused but trustworthy gaze in your eyes.

“Good morning,” He starts teasingly, pressing his hips into your ass to emphasize his morning wood. “I hope you don’t mind, I couldn’t help myself~” He leans down to give your lips a peck, the familiar feeling of your plush lips against his making him softly moan. He lets his two fingers rub and tease your opening, moving his position to your side and having you lay on your back. His arm was back to supporting himself next to your head, his face merely inches away. “I’m going to put them in, okay?” He asks, his thumb never slowing to keep your hormones running.

“Please give it to me, Dabi, please…” You softly whine, thighs moving apart to give him room.

He nervously gulps at that -- for what reason? He doesn’t know himself. It wasn’t like it was his facetime breaking someone’s innocence. The feelings of this going further than you two had ever anticipated rained in the back of his head, the very thought made him want to rush but also cherish this time.

He leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss again, this time his fingers successfully being able to enter your needy cunt. His mouth ate up all your wanton moans, fingers slowly pumping in and out of your cunt to prepare you for proper comfort. His tongue invaded your mouth, your muscle desperately moving against his and falling submissive to his sensual and loving touches -- the feeling with a hint of deviousness you hadn’t encountered with Dabi yet. The movement was almost hard to do with your virgin cunt squeezing at his fingers, legs spread open for his fucking. His calculated fingers stroked your walls, the new sensation leaving you quivering already. Dabi couldn’t help but speed up his fingers, the erotic sounds of your cunt taking his thrusting making the experience much arousing for both you and him.

When he pulls away you both are light of breath, the room no longer hot but a heavy humid -- only an ambiance of sensuality running through the air. “You like it when my fingers are deep in you like this, Doll~?” He taunts you, smirking as you once again nod your head, one hand designated on holding onto his arm close to your head as the other clung to his snapping wrist that quite literally held your pleasure in the palm of his hand. He positioned his fingers to hit a bit deeper, the change of angle prompting him to hit a spot inside that you weren’t ready for.

A moan shrieked from your mouth as he does, thighs immediately moving to clench around his thighs. Much to his surprise, it was what took you to cum on his fingers. He watched in amazement as you tried to pull his unrelenting fingers away, groaning deep in his chest as your pussy sucked in his fingers, heating his thumb to give your thumb some more stimulation as he rubbed into.

“Dabi--!” You breathlessly called out for him, never mind the other tenants that housed in the building. The pleasure was too great and your body was moving on its own. “Baby, it’s t-too much hnngn~!” You tried to reason, your needy pleas falling on deaf ears.

Dabi was too drunk on your essence and visuals, he glared down at you once he realized your words. You knew the look wasn’t anything but mean, only serving the purpose that he was in charge. “Is it too much for you, babygirl?” He inquires, noting the way your pussy dripped and his fingers. “Can you be a good girl and take another one for me~?” He asks, slowing his fingers to let you catch a breath, his hot fingers still shooting bolts of arousal through your veins.

For sure he knew he was pushing your limits, how else would he make this fun? Had you been any other simple person he wouldn’t be doing this. It was the desperation in your eyes that pulled him in, using his skillful hands to draw you closer and relish in the feeling of your cute thighs squeezing his arm for him to keep even though you were pulling it in.

Dabi had no mercy in stroking your g-spot, the one spot making you tense and the heat of his fingertips not helping any better either. He was pleased to watch your eyes roll back, a shiver running over your body as he urged another orgasm out of you. He slows down and mumbles reassuring words into your ear, pulling his fingers out slowly and watching as your slick drenches his fingers. He quickly gets up from his bed, getting a towel to clean you up. He holds his smirk when the rough but soft fabric brushes against your throbbing and sensitive clit, tossing the towel behind his back. He reaches over to give you your water bottle, helping you sit up a bit and holding your chin up to his careful hands.

He didn’t communicate anything as he helped you take a sip of water to calm you down, his gaze holding nothing but deep adoration for you. His heart hammered as he took in your panting state, hair now messy and face hot, the few strands of hair sticking to your skin. He hums in content once you hand him back the bottle, screwing the cap back on, and leans down to give your lips a peck before he rests the water bottle back onto its post on the nightstand. His hand moves to hold your cheek, his thumb rubbing your bottom lip.

“Do you think you can go further, or would you like a bath, Doll?” He asks gently. Your adoring eyes stared up into him, pondering on it before slowly nodding your head. He sighs softly, his hand coming up to grip your jaw and tilt your head at a better angle to look at you better. “I need to hear you say it, Y/N.”

“Please, use me as you see fit…” You ask just as told. His eyes only softened just a bit, wordlessly getting off and reaching over for his draws. You see him pull out a bottle that had the label as “lube”, your face scrunching up in mild confusion at it. You watched him get comfortable between your legs again, his hands coming up to get your tank top off leaving you embarrassingly exposed in front of him. You bit your lip as you watched him prepare, not having enough brain capacity to really ask him what is in the bottle when he finally whips out his dick. The question of wanting a condom is almost going over your head since you were so caught up on his erect dick. You had never seen one before, much less even thought about seeing it in a person or on technology.

It is sure as hell was intimidating. Dabi couldn’t have had a normal pecker, no. His cock looked almost 7.5 inches long and not too shy on the thicc side either. His impressive length curved upwards just a bit and his tip had precum at the tip of its head. Your eyes widened in surprise at the piercings on his length, the proud studs that lined up perfectly on the underside of his cock. You watched as he took a generous amount of the translucent liquid into his fist to get himself lubricated fully. You gulped as you witnessed him lube his cock up, his actions alone stoking you up for the next event's activities.

“What? You surprised doll~?” He teases once he’s done, using the remaining lube on his hand to lube up your already slick labia. You purse your lips to keep yourself from moaning out from the feeling, trailing your gaze up to his dark and lustful one.

“Y-Yeah… is it going to fit?” You ask worried, jumping once he carefully presses it against your opening. He pauses and grabs your thighs from the back of your knees and holds you open.

“I mean, it’s not supposed to hurt.” He says ‘reassuringly’, speaking to you as if the underside of his pierced cock wasn’t giving the lips of your cunt a wonderful massage. “If it ever hurts, let me know, okay?” He asks softly, nodding his head in affirmation before he pulls his hips back a bit to allow him some space to have his tip press at your opening once again. He aligns himself before carefully aligning himself. He slowly thrusts himself in, testing the waters and watching your face to see whether to continue or not. When he sees your confirmation he continues, his cock almost halfway in when he managed to grab a whimper from you. The sound was almost too magical for him, the sweet reward of obtaining his sweet, innocent, and beautiful girlfriend’s virginity. The sound makes him pause before he checks on you again and finishes the process with bottoming out. He buries his face into your neck to softly kiss at your skin once he’s fully in, prompting you to wrap your arms around his shoulders.

He lightly kissed at the old marks on your neck, moving to new spaces to bite and create new marks by sucking on them. Being the gentleman he is, he kept a regular pace for you until you gave him the go. As much as he wanted to demolish your cunt, he sure as hell didn’t want to tear it on his first time with you. So he did as said, starting from his comfortable pace before picking it up. Dabi had his hips angled so he could rub against your clit each time he rutted in you, the vibration of his growl against your neck made you shiver along with the feeling of his dick piercings massaging the insides of your cunt walls.

“Daabi ahh~” You cry out for him, your nails digging into the skin of his exposed back. The pain elicits a groan from him, his hips smacking into yours in response. His hold on your thighs was tight and strong, holding you up high and ready to be rawed by him this early in the morning. He smirks against your skin once he hears your loud and annoyed whimper at the feeling of his mark, his tongue unapologetic ally licking the spot to make it better.

At this point, Dabi was successfully bottoming out inside of you and it made you feel wonderful. You had no idea how to shut up from the sensations you were receiving and it did nothing but fuel Dabi’s ego. Your heels dug into the dip of his back, legs keeping him in close as he rides out his pleasure in you. Your cunt was impossibly tight around him and it was so very hard to keep himself from going all the way to his usual pace -- also keeping in mind the studs could just easily hurt you as well.

You didn’t take the time to warn him you were going to cum. The given factor of your sweet words slurring as you tried to catch yourself, head tilting against the pillows and body tensing up in hot pleasure. He watched as you finished on his cock, your erotic face spurring on his as well. Dabi was more skilled in pushing it back to draw yours out. His teeth bit at his bottom lip as he held back from cumming in you and pulling out last minute. His hand easily glided his cock as he eased himself to cum on your untouched and pure skin. A deep groan came from his chest, one short of a deep groan that sounded like a growl.

His white substance coated your skin and gave you a nice look, the sperm landing on your stomach and lips. Dabi smiled sweetly as you tried to catch your breath, your skin glistened with sweat and inappropriately displayed just for him. “I’ll run you a nice bath, you’ve earned it.” He leaned down to give your lips a loving peck as he carefully picked you up in his arms, allowing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders and face nuzzle his neck. He makes his way to the shared bathroom that is connected to your room, his smile quickly changing into one of a mischievous grin.

He couldn’t wait to do more with you in the future~

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queen-scribbles · 3 years

Note

"No matter what I'll always come after you" for Vesper?

Okay, this, as usual, ran away from me to the tune of 2300 words, but I’m not complaining. (It does touch on game events, including the end, just so anyone wanting to avoid spoilers is aware)

----

Most children threatened to run away from home at least once. Vesper just hadn’t expected Constantin--of all people--to make good on it. (Though maybe she should’ve.) While her mother and uncle debated where he might have gone and organized searches for the palace and city proper, Vesper snuck out a side door and headed in the opposite direction, toward the meadow where they’d picnicked few days ago. Constantin had wanted to explore more, but their governess wouldn’t let him. If he was feeling defiant enough to make good on running away, she’d bet he went back there.

And the deep footprints in the riverbank mud bore out her theory. He proved easy to find once she had his trail, headed straight for a patch of woods, though she found him more from the yelp than his trail.

A yelp that presaged his falling from the tree he’d been trying to climb.

“Constantin!” Vesper lunged forward to catch him, but thanks to the limits of ten year old legs, only sort-of managed to break his fall. (Whenever her growth spurt wanted to show up would be fine by her.) “Are you alright?!”

“What’re you doing here?” Constantin demanded instead of answering. He looked alright, if dirty and still petulant.

“Looking for you,” Vesper retorted, nudging him off so they could both sit up. “We were worried-”

“I’m not going back,” he interrupted sulkily, poking the dirt with a stick. “I’m sick of sums. And behaving myself.”

“I can tell,” she teased, brushing dirt off the knee of his breeches. “But our parents are worried sick, and I feel like the longer it takes to find you, the more trouble you’ll be in.”

Constantin jabbed the stick more viciously into the ground at the base of an ant hill, and was silent a long moment before nodding. “...Fine.”

Vesper helped him to his feet, brushed more dirt off his clothes. There was nothing that could be done about the scrape on his forearm, or the ripped sleeve that hung around it, however.

They were halfway home before he took her hand and mumbled a slightly grudging, “Thanks for coming after me.”

Vesper smiled. “Always.”

----

Raised voices had become so commonplace in the family portions of the house, Vesper barely batted an eye at the muffled strains of the Prince in contention with someone yet again. She knew who it likely was even before hearing Constantin’s protesting retort. She knew how this would go, too, and finished the current page of her book, setting it aside with a sigh.

As usual, her uncle’s voice rose in both volume and quantity of words until she could almost make out the words of his tirade from three rooms down the hall. As usual, there was a long, rebellious pause, then Constantin’s voice so low she barely picked up the murmur of it, then a slammed door. As usual, Vesper counted to twenty, then went after him. As usual, he was on the balcony that looked toward the harbor, sitting on the ground with his back against the wall.

“Should have known you’d come after me, with a row like that,” Constantin said without looking.

“Always,” Vesper said lightly. “You alright?”

He shrugged, gaze fixed toward the horizon.

She waited him out, knowing the words would come.

“It’s never good enough for him,” Constantin finally spat. “I’m never good enough. Everything I do, Ves. It’s always just a little wrong, or falls just a little short, or a little too embarrassing, or I’m a disgrace to the family name! He’s never happy!”

“He does ask a lot from you,” Vesper agreed softly, because it was true. Knowing her uncle had reasons for his high standards--the family’s position, Constantin being his heir--didn’t negate how impossibly high the bar seemed some days.

Especially with it being set for Constantin. Who liked to flirt with the wrong people and fight with the wrong people and never really could seem to hold his tongue.

But he didn’t need censure or critique now, not from her, he needed a listening ear. So that’s what she did. She listened. She sympathized. And she let him calm down from the heights of ranting before she even suggested heading back inside.

She was stiff from sitting on the ground so long, but seeing him smile again was worth it.

----

The air around the tavern stank of cheap beer and vomit, which was better than most nights. Vesper wrinkled her nose and tried to ignore it. Damn Constantin for choosing this one, though he’d likely done so banking on the knowledge she’d be reluctant to follow him here alone. Unfortunately for him, if that had been his thought process, it hadn’t taken much to convince Kurt to come with her. (It may have involved the words ‘I’m going regardless’ from her, and grousing from Kurt, but she knew, despite his grumbling, he liked her and Constantin more than he’d admit. Hence him following her to four other taverns before this one.)

They’d barely taken two steps inside when the unmistakable sound of Constantin singing reached their ears, and Vesper groaned.

“I won’t tell the prince where we found him if you don’t,” Kurt muttered behind her.

Vesper’s mouth twisted in a wry smile. “Oh, my lips are sealed, it’s his I’m worried about.”

Kurt just grunted in response to that, and the two of them made their way through the crowd until they found her wayward cousin.

“Vesper!” Constantin grinned when he saw her. Not drunk yet, but on the way. “Didn’t think you liked places like this, cousin.” He gestured broadly at the surroundings, sloshing his drink over the table. Well on the way to drunk, then.

She forced a smile. “Oh, but you know I’ll always come after you, dear cousin, no matter what it takes.” Even visiting shady taverns our parents would kill the both of us for patronizing.

He laughed and took a deep drink before slouching back in the chair. “Are y’ here to join me or drag me home?”

“The latter, I’m afraid,” Vesper said lightly. Her uncle was on his way home from some diplomatic summit and would be in a foul temper if his son was missing upon returning. She needed to get Constantin home and sleeping off this afternoon’s escapades. “Though I do hope there will be no actual dragging involved.”

Constantin’s gaze flicked to where Kurt stood behind her, arms crossed, and grinned again. “Backup, Vesper? Worried you can’t corral me on your own anymore?”

His tone was playful, but she knew how swiftly that could change when he was in a mood, and she chose her words accordingly. “Two pairs of eyes are better than one, and it is part of his job to watch out for us. I was worried, cousin. You’ve been gone most of the day.” She left off they’d been looking for him almost half of that time.

“Afraid I got kidnapped or broke my neck?” Constantin teased, taking another drink.

“Among other fates," Vesper said with an easy laugh. Both of those are actual possibilities with you. “You know I have a vivid imagination.”

He laughed as well, loud and tipsy, and leaned forward to clumsily pat her hand. “As you can see, I’m fine, dear cousin.”

“Yes, it does appear you had an enjoyable afternoon,” she agreed, deciding she didn’t want to know the origin of the stains on his shirt and coat. Or where his hat ended up. (If he had even worn one.) “My mother’s fretting herself silly about you, though, Constantin, what say we head home and put her mind at ease?”

He took long enough to answer she was afraid he’d dig in his heels and she’d have to have Kurt yank him out of the chair. But he rolled his eyes and pushed the nearly-empty tankard across the table. “Oh, fine. Wouldn’t do to have my beloved auntie worrying herself sick.”

He stumbled getting to his feet, and Kurt grabbed his arm to keep him upright.

“Thank you,” Constantin slurred, leaning against him heavily. (He’d been closer to drunk than she thought, apparently.)

“Just doin’ my job,” Kurt said with a grunt, accepting the inevitable and tugging Constantin’s arm around his shoulders as they headed for the door. He shot Vesper a look she’d almost call impressed. “Nice going. You’ve got a way with words.”

Vesper bit back a laugh as she pushed open the door. “Thank you. I have to counter my abysmal showing with a blade somehow.”

Kurt chuckled, and she caught the faint flash of a smile before he bit it back. “You’re still learning, Green Blood. Give it time.”

“That does help with a lot,” she said, glancing at her thoroughly inebriated cousin. Hopefully time would help smooth away some of his more worrisome habits.

At the very least, though, it would help with his hangover.

----

One thing that came in handy, with how often Vesper found herself in these scenarios, Constantin was loud. He was loud when he was celebrating, loud when he was complaining, and he was loud now.

Vesper could hear him hollering demands and derisions at his captors well before she and Kurt reached the warehouse where he was being held.

“D’you think there’s any chance of this becoming a less frequent occurrence when we reach the island?” she asked as she scanned the building for discreet ways in.

Kurt pressed his lips together--whether biting back a smile at her question or annoyance at her cousin, she couldn’t tell--and shrugged. “Only time will tell, I suppose.”

Vesper bobbed her head to concur with his assessment and resumed searching for a way in. Fortunately, it proved easier than anticipated to sneak inside the building. She’d rather not incite a brawl just before leaving Sérène. It was equally easy to follow Constantin’s yelling to the room serving as his makeshift cell.

“Constantin, shhh!” Vesper hissed against the keyhole.

There was silence, then, slightly quieter and much more effusive, “Ah, cousin, there you are! I knew you’d show!”

“We can’t leave without you, Governor D’Orsay,” Vesper reminded him as she examined the lock. “And you know I’d come after you anyway.”

“Always.” There was a grin in Constantin’s voice. “If you’re looking for the key, I believe one of the rapscallions mentioned a desk?”

That was indeed its hiding place. And she found his effects in the trunk beside it to boot. Her cousin was almost giddy as he burst from the small room the moment the key turned in the lock.

“That’s more like it!” he crowed, clapping her on the back and nodding toward Kurt. “Thank you ever so much for the rescue, dearest cousin and loyal Captain. Now” --he snatched his hat from pile in Vesper’s arms-- “let’s go have an adventure, shall we?”

She schooled away a smile at his enthusiasm and held his coat out of reach. “Constantin? Remember how we discussed Teer Fradee being an opportunity for a fresh start? Please endeavor to keep that in mind.”

“Yes, of course, dear cousin.” He darted forward to grab his coat and she let him have it. He pulled it on and whirled around with a flourish. “We shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

Vesper shook her head and smiled as she tugged him toward the route she and Kurt had used to enter. While somehow Constantin’s enthusiasm managed to make more noise than Kurt’s armor, they did make it back out unchallenged. She grabbed Constantin’s arm to tug him toward where Captain Vasco waited.

Her cousin was right about one thing--they’d delayed long enough.

---

The winged form of the High King came crashing to the ground with her second to last round through his throat. Vesper ignored the still twitching body. Kurt or Sìora could check he was actually dead, she only cared about Constantin.

Her saber clattered against the stony ground as she lunged toward the half-constructed cairn around her cousin and started pulling it apart with her bare hands. Once free enough, Constantin slumped limply against her chest and Vesper held him close.

“...Vesper?” he mumbled, barely audible, through lips chapped and scarred by the malichor and heaven only knew what else.

“I’m here,” she said, voice shaking with relief they gotten here in time. “I come after you no matter what, remember?”

There was no reply, the weight of him heavy against her chest, but she could still feel him breathing.

“Hold on, cousin,” she murmured. He was so quiet, so still. They needed to get him to a healer.

There was a hand on her shoulder and Kurt crouched next to her. “Green Blood.”

Because it was Kurt, Vesper didn’t try to hide the lingering worry in her eyes as she released her hold on Constantin so Kurt could take him for the journey down the mountain.

She tried not to let King Vinbarr’s words echo too loudly in her head as she and Sìora followed, tried not to let the foreboding take root, but the sheer desperation in the man’s voice still left a seed.

“He will be the end of us all!”

---

The trek up through Anemhaid was made all the more difficult by the heartsick dread steadily building in her chest, but Vesper made it. Alone; her companions stayed to help their people, and her heart was stuck at the bottom of the mountain. (Don’t be a hero, she’d said, knowing full well he would anyway because he couldn’t help himself, knowing she’d have to do the same.)

She didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to be doing this.

She finally slowed as she reached the main cavern, saw her cousin’s familiar silhouette.

“Vesper.” Constaintin almost smiled as he turned. “I knew you’d come.”

“Of course I did, cousin.” Vesper swallowed hard, chest tight, and rested one hand on the hilt of her pistol. She hoped against hope she wouldn’t need it, but the dreadful knot in her gut and strange glow in his eyes promised she would. “No matter what, I always come after you.”

#queens fic #greedfall #vesper de sardet #constantin d'orsay #kurt greedfall #ves/kurt #it's not in the spotlight but it's THERE

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quazartranslates · 3 years

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Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH50

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

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Chapter 50: Purgatory Reunion (II) {cw: misgendering}

Qi Leren slept for eight hours, and when he was woken up by the alarm clock, he roughly pressed it off, wishing to close his eyes and fall back into the darkness of sleep.

His head was still aching, and the blood vessels near his temples were throbbing, making Qi Leren wonder if they were going to burst open. As well, his body felt uncomfortable. It was like he had been curled up in a narrow box all night, and none of his parts were intact.

This shouldn't be. When he was training with Chen Baiqi before, he’d woken up alive and kicking. Why was he so tired this time?

Away from the borders of the Village of Dusk, the outside world changed between day and night. Now it was morning, and warm sunlight shone through the window pane. Qi Leren sat up and stretched, and his bones made a frightening crack sound, startling him.

"You up? Come and have breakfast, then," the Illusionist said with a dull tone from behind the curtain.

Qi Leren got up and took two pieces of bread coated with jam from the Illusionist: "How long before we can get to the Underground Ant City?"

"Landing in three hours, then walking into the Dragon Ant Queen’s sphere of influence. If it goes well, it will take two days," said the Illusionist lazily.

"It’ll take that long?" Qi Leren was in a hurry. Today was the 25th day since completing the Holy City task. In the game, Ning Zhou had been on the 29th day when...

Even if they crossed the desert smoothly, that would leave him with only two days!

In the huge Underground Ant City, amidst the vast crowd of people, this was too little time.

Fortunately... Fortunately, he wasn’t without any leads.

Qi Leren recalled the information gathered from the game and his dream. He knew where the flowing red magma was. It was a lake of fire in the depths of Purgatory. Legend had it that it was a projection in the human world of Hell’s own lake of fire. On the last day of Ning Zhou's life, he would be there...

Qi Leren couldn't think. When he thought about Ning Zhou, his mind would become blank from the uncontrollable fear. He didn't dare to think about what kind of mood Ning Zhou was in as he was gradually awakening to his demonic power. He didn’t dare to think about how whose death had led to this. He didn’t dare to think about whether he was full of disappointment and despondency with the world at the last moment of his life, and whether he... whether he remembered his dead lover?

Qi Leren tried to find a reason for why Ning Zhou still lingered in this world. He had suffered too much in his life: his only relative had died long ago, and his lover whom he had not yet had time to confess to was buried in the Holy City. His holy land had exiled him and no longer recognized his piety, and even his last faith could not be preserved—he became the devil he hated most.

Perhaps for the present Ning Zhou, death was a relief.

"Hey," the Illusionist suddenly called.

Qi Leren turned to look at him: "What is it?"

The Illusionist looked at him with a strange and slightly disgusted expression: "Your expression just now… I really can't stand it."

Saying this, he exaggeratedly rubbed his arms.

Qi Leren: ???

"I think being in love is too hard for you. It's better to be single than to chase after your husband to Purgatory." The Illusionist, dressed as a professional woman, pushed the women's glasses up the bridge of his nose as he spoke.

"It's good to be single, but what's the difference between being single and being widowed?" Qi Leren said. In the days before he’d met Ning Zhou, he had lived very well. If he hadn't met Ning Zhou, this kind of life could be regarded as happiness. But after meeting Ning Zhou, he missed him, and he couldn't let go for the rest of his life.

The Illusionist felt that he had been gloated to.

Qi Leren couldn't feel the Illusionist’s resentment. He continued to flip through the information about the Underground Ant City. When he saw something he questioned, he asked, "’The Dragon Ant Queen’s field.’ Is the Underground Ant City also a field?"

"Oh, yes, it's the same as the Village of Dusk... You don't know, do you?" The Illusionist gave him a disdainful oblique look.

In fact, Qi Leren, who had only learned about this during the last copy, could avoid making a fool of himself. He calmly asked, "I know, but why are the Village of Dusk and the Village of Dawn so similar? Is it because the original force of these two fields are both time?"

The Illusionist changed his expression and asked angrily, "You know too much. Who told you that? Chen Baiqi? She shouldn’t know this information."

"It wasn’t her." Qi Leren knew that Chen Baiqi didn't have this information. When she had learned that Su He came from the Village of Dawn, she’d respected him.

"Don't ask, this isn’t something you should know," the Illusionist said, glancing at him.

Qi Leren still has a lot of questions, but the Illusionist stated that he wouldn’t reveal any information to him, so he had to forget about it. The two people then talked about some things about the Underground Ant City: there was the Dragon Ant Queen's sphere of influence—although it was also a field, it was not a normal field. The dragon ant queen was not an individual person, but a name passed down from generation to generation.

Every Dragon Ant Queen would choose her successor after she grew old, and pass on the Underground Ant City’s field to the next one through a special means. This inherited field was different from other fields, and had natural defects inside it.

In the ancient legend, the original Underground Ant City was created by a group of queens who had led their people. In the giant cave deep within the Sea of Tranquility desert, there was a natural gap between the two worlds, which connected the underworld and the human world. However, the seal was still firm at that time, and most demons could not pass through this gap. Only the dragon ants gnawed through the gap with their own talents and were able to move between the two worlds.

The demon queens, who had been excluded by the underworld, were very satisfied with this underground cave which had accumulated water for millions of years. They led their people to settle here and decided to create the glory of dragon ants here.

The initial establishment was very difficult, but they soon gained a firm foothold. Once the external crisis was lifted, the queens began to fight cruelly for power. Finally, a powerful queen killed her competitors and became the Dragon Ant Queen.

After the first Dragon Ant Queen ascended to the throne, she led the dragon ant demons to expand wildly, and brought the Sea of Tranquility desert’s parish under the demons’ rule. This move angered the Holy See, which surrounded this group of unscrupulous demons. Finally, the Dragon Ant Queen decided to retreat back to the underground of the Sea of Tranquility desert—a huge underground cave with an underground network extending in all directions, just like ants' nests.

The wonderful thing was that the entrance to this nest was narrow and led straight down. The army couldn't enter here without having to parachute down at the mouth of the cave. This terrain blocked the Holy See and allowed this group of demons to thrive in this area.

After weighing the losses, the Holy See decided to give up the encirclement and suppression, and the two sides signed a peace treaty. The Dragon Ant Queen promised not to slaughter human beings, and to never leave the Underground Ant City’s sphere of influence, and ensured that all intelligent life such as human beings and demons would be treated equally in the Underground Ant City.

So this time, the small-scale conflict subsided. Before the death of the first Dragon Ant Queen, she passed on her field to her successor in a way that has not yet been declassified. Since then, the Dragon Ant Queens had passed on this ancient field in the same way. Until 22 years ago—when the first war of demons invading the human world had broken out, and the Destroyer led the demon army to break through the gap between the two worlds and come to the peaceful and rich human world...

"The Dragon Ant Queen is still alive?" Qi Leren asked, looking through the information.

"Yeah, but she's almost dead," the Illusionist said.

"Generally speaking, the Dragon Ant Queen represents the neutral force among demons, which is determined by her original force... But the Dragon Ant Queen has an obvious tendentiousness..." Qi Leren said. His eyes fell on a certain line of words in the data, and she looked at it for a long time.

"She’s a follower of the Lord of Destruction, but her own strength is contradictory to him. We also don’t know why she would follow a Devil King who was contrary to her own original force. Maybe the new Dragon Ant Queen will change her allegiance. After all, 'power' is the most worthy for 'order' to follow," said the Illusionist.

It was no secret that the Dragon Ant Queen’s original force was quite neutral, and could even be assumed to be on the side of the holy camp, because she represented "order".

However, even though this demon’s original force was order, she had followed the Destroyer without hesitation more than 20 years ago.

Qi Leren still knew little about "original force". Before he left, Chen Baiqi had given him an urgent remedial lesson, but couldn’t say too much because of the limited time. He only knew that the precondition for field condensation was to condense a half field, and before half field condensation, he had to find his own original force first.

Qi Leren was very lucky. Although he had had a narrow escape… No, he really had died once, but at the moment before his death, he had found his original force and received the law’s reward, which pulled him back from the edge of death.

This power was called "rebirth".

Thinking carefully, he had actually been reborn countless times. Every time he saved and loaded S/L Data, he was reborn. Otherwise, how could he explain the countless tombstones on the Undead Island? Those tombstones were born perhaps because every time, he really was "dead", but he was born again and returned to the moment he had saved.

In this regard, Chen Baiqi said to him: "The door to the new world has been opened to you. Take a peek at the magic of the other side from the gap. It’s great luck to see the wonder of that realm with your own eyes, because most people are too weak to push this unique door open."

Qi Leren could read a kind of faint loss and melancholy from her face. He couldn't help but wonder about Chen Baiqi's experience of condensing a half field only to break it. When she stepped up that step, how high-spirited was she? How painful had it been when she fell down? And Ning Zhou... His half field was also broken.

Was it different? Once upon a time, Qi Leren hadn't even thought about it.

He had always felt that he was a very ordinary person, with the advantages and disadvantages of ordinary people, and that human weakness and compromise are equally indispensable to him. He didn't have much initiative, and he didn't want to make a huge leap, but just wanted to live his life in an ordinary way.

If he had stayed in the real world, maybe this ordinary and mediocre ideal could be realized, but here…

It was doomed to be impossible.

"What if… What if I say I want to push this door open?" Qi Leren had suddenly asked.

Chen Baiqi paused for a cigarette, and the flame of the match shone a little light in her hand blocking the wind, which lit up her slender eyebrows. As if she had seen him for the first time, this woman carefully examined his expression. Qi Leren looked at her without shying away, eager to get an answer from her mouth.

"Oh, why?" Chen Baiqi asked.

Qi Leren laughed, firm, but shy, and his earnest eyes seemed to shine.

"Because I want to protect him."

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charlieconwayy · 3 years

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D3: The Mighty Ducks (1996) is the best Ducks movie and a flawless coming of age movie

It’s no secret that The Mighty Ducks are a beloved trilogy. The three films spawned a professional NHL team named in their honor, 2021 sequel series, as well as many knockoff films released in the 1990s. But with any movie series, fans tend to rank the films and have passionate opinions on which is the best. For most Ducks fans, the answer is simple: D2. It has the Bash Brothers, Team USA dominating, the iconic “Ducks Fly Together” scene and two Queen songs. What’s not to love? But upon a rewatch of the trilogy, I came to realize that it’s not D2, or even the original, that is the best in the series.

It’s the criminally underrated 1996 D3 that for me, is the most mature and has the most heart. Perhaps it’s that the Ducks are now old enough to carry their own weight on screen. Perhaps it’s that the film takes a look at trauma, specifically trauma in teenagers, and how that manifests itself. Perhaps it’s that the film is maybe ahead of its time, in the way it discusses classism, racism and sexism. There is so much about this overly hated film that makes it the best Ducks movie and a perfect coming of age film.

The movie starts presumably a few years following the Ducks’ win against Iceland. They all look noticeably older - definitely older than the middle schoolers we left behind in 1994 - and all of the male Ducks’ voices have dropped a few octaves. Gordon Bombay, played by Emilio Estevez, is presenting the team (except for unfortunately, Jesse Hall, a leader among the Ducks who would’ve made for a strong presence in this mature film, as well as Portman, but we’ll get to him later) with scholarships to his alma mater, Eden Hall, a preparatory high school in Minnesota. Charlie Conway, played by a young, pre-Dawson’s Creek Joshua Jackson, is the Ducks’ captain and unspoken leader. There’s been much debate over the years over whether or not Charlie is the true captain of the Ducks. Adam Banks, played by Vincent Larusso, is far and away better than practically every Duck combined. Fulton Reed, played by Elden Henson, has shown more maturity and leadership at this point. It’s probably true that the Ducks as a team think that Charlie is Captain because of Bombay’s favoritism towards him (and his mother), but I think that this film makes it abundantly clear why Charlie is the captain.

D3 is Charlie’s story. We see that in the opening scene, when Bombay tells Charlie he will not be following the team to Eden Hall, accepting a job instead in California. We learned in the original Mighty Ducks film, that Charlie and his mother left a bad situation in Charlie’s father when Charlie was very young. We also hear about Charlie’s mother, Casey’s marriage to a new man in the D2, who we can assume from what Jan says, that Charlie doesn’t like. We see in that first film, Charlie’s reaction to Bombay announcing that he is leaving the Ducks after the two of them have formed a bond. It is very clear that Charlie deals with abandonment issues, stemming from trauma in his early childhood. Charlie freaks out when a D3 Bombay announces the same thing, and storms off.

Change is the biggest theme in D3. We see how change affects each of the Ducks, even those who don’t get many lines. Some, like Russ Tyler, played by SNL’s Kenan Thompson, think it’s a good thing. All of the Ducks don’t come from good neighborhoods and we assume that most of them don’t have the best home lives, especially when Charlie tells their new coach, Orion, played by Jeffrey Nordling, that the Ducks are the only good thing that any of them have had. Going to a preparatory school should be a good thing for them. But for most of them, it’s not. The new Ducks (who by the way, three of which are people of color, and one of which, is a woman) are immediately told that “their kind” is not welcome at Eden Hall. The Varsity team claim that they feel this way because the captain’s younger brother was not admitted onto the JV team because of the Ducks’ scholarships, but it’s very clear what they really mean. Russ commented that he’s the only black person on the whole campus earlier, and he, Luis Mendoza (The Sandlot’s Mike Vitar) and Ken Wu (Justin Wong) are the only people of color we see in the film. Change takes a toll on each member of the team. We see it the most in Charlie, but we also hear from Fulton on how the separation from his best friend, Dean Portman (Aaron Lohr), who decided not to enroll at Eden Hall, is taking a toll on him. Connie (Margerite Moreau) and Guy (Garrette Henson) have presumably broken up, as the two small scenes we get of them, they are arguing. It’s a transition period, one that the first year of high school often is. But it’s also a look on how a rich, white privileged world is vastly different than the one that the Ducks are used to.

Coach Orion seems like a hardass, especially when he tells Charlie at their first practice that he will no longer be “Captain Duck” (as coined by D2’s Gunnar Stahl, played by Scott Whyte, who now plays the level-headed Varsity goalie Scooter). This, to the Ducks, is a line in the sand. Ever since Bombay turned District 5 into the Ducks four years previous, Charlie has been their captain. They’re in a whole new environment, where the man who gave them so much happiness and so many friendships isn’t, and their “little Duck tricks” won’t work anymore. Orion thinks Charlie is a showoff, and perhaps he is. This Charlie is vastly different than the sweet, shy Charlie we see in D1 and D2. But this Charlie is older, has just been abandoned by a man he considered a father, and is being harassed on a daily basis for being, as Varsity Captain Reilly puts it, “white trash.” I find it hard to believe sometimes that fans can look at Charlie from the outside, and not see who he is on the inside. All of Charlie’s closest relationships that we see portrayed in this movie, are with women. His mother (who he, as a teenage boy, says “I love you” to in the final scene of the movie), his teammates, Connie and Julie, who he gets a lot more screentime with, and with new love interest, Linda (Margot Finley).

I think now is a great time to talk about the shockingly impressive way all of the female characters are portrayed in this series, particularly this movie, especially for a 90s sports film. Connie has always been a leader on and off the ice. She’s in a relationship with Guy, but it’s not her only character trait. Dubbed “the Velvet Hammer” by Averman (Matt Doherty), she stands up for herself, and for her shy teammates (she literally shoves Peter Mark - a character cut out of D2 and D3 for good reason - in D1 when he insults Charlie) and stands up to the entire Varsity team despite them telling her that they hope they can “fight” with her later. Julie “The Cat” Gaffney (Columbe Jacobsen) is the second best player on the Ducks, despite the little ice time (thanks, Bombay) we see her have. She is the first person to tell of the Varsity, telling Captain Reilly that his little brother “just wasn’t good enough.” She’s a huge facilitator in the fire ant prank and despite the very weird and out of character game she had against the Blake Bears, shows that she deserves the number one goalie slot that Reilly gives her - despite what Goldberg, and the obvious underlying sexism there, have to say. I’ve also always been very impressed with Charlie’s mother, Casey (Heidi Kling). Although she has a romance with Bombay in D1, she makes it clear from the get go that her first priority is Charlie. We know that she took the two of them away from an abusive situation, and she’s a goddamn hero for that. Her scenes in D3 are limited, but they always show her chastising Charlie’s antics and encouraging him to stay in school. It goes unsaid, but it’s clear that she knows that he’s not going to get an education this good in the problematic public school system. But according to Linda, Charlie’s love interest, the private school system is no better. The first time we see Linda, she is protesting the “outdated” Warriors team name. This was in a 1996 kids movie, no less. She holds her own against Charlie, calling him out when he’s wrong. No one aside from Charlie, and maybe Fulton, get much screentime or lines aside from Bombay and Orion, but her presence and the point of her character is clear - not every rich person agrees with the horrible things that wealthy people do.

Back to the plot.

When the Ducks receive their positions, they learn that Banks, as a freshman, has made Varsity. From an outside perspective, they seems obvious. Banks is the best player we see in any of the films, definitely miles better than the losers on Varsity, so it seems obvious that he would be promoted. But Banks is unhappy with this. Adam Banks is a fan favorite character, definitely due to the sweet, understated performance by Larusso, but we don’t see much of him. From what we do see of him though, he underwent a huge character arc from D1 to now. In D1, Banks goes against his father’s protests and joins the Ducks, claiming that he “just wants to play hockey.” Here in D3, we see that Banks is utterly miserable despite playing with some of the best players in the state, purely because he’s not with his friends. At the end of the film, he makes the (questionable) decision to rejoin the Ducks and go against the Varsity. But Varsity seems to feel that Banks fits in with them, for obvious reasons. He’s the only Duck who comes from an affluent background, and he’s definitely the most clean cut. Captain Reilly is visibly angry in the final showdown with the Ducks that they no longer have Banks on their side, as if he’s betrayed “his kind.”

The turning point of the film comes when after Charlie has quit the freshman team (no longer the Ducks), Hans, a father figure to the Ducks and Bombay, suddenly passes away. It’s an insanely dark moment for a Disney film, especially when Bombay returns to the funeral and reminds the Ducks that it was “Hans who taught them to fly” and Charlie storms off, crying. I think Joshua Jackson, in the Ducks films, as well as in Dawson’s Creek, is phenomenally good at portraying teenagers who wouldn’t normally be seen as leading men. Who let their emotions overtake them, who have anger issues, who deal with familial problems. Characters like that in leading roles were almost unheard of in the 90s, and in the upcoming scenes, it reminds us why this side of Charlie that we’ve seen throughout the movie is not the only side of Charlie.

Bombay takes Charlie to the rink to see Orion skating with his disabled daughter, who was injured in a car accident. He reveals to Charlie that Orion quit the NHL to take care of her, and this immediately changes Charlie’s opinion of him, but he’s still unconvinced about rejoining the team. The next scene is without question, the greatest and most important scene of the trilogy. The last two films spent way too much time telling us how great of a person Bombay was, how he was the Minnesota Miracle Man,despite us seeing so little of that onscreen. We see him making mistake after mistake, hurting the team, being an unjustified dick to those around him. But this scene more than makes up for all of that. I’ve put the quote from this scene below.

Bombay: I was like you, Charlie. When I played hockey, I was a total hot shot. I tried to take control of every game. I wound up quitting. So I tried the law. I ruled the courtroom, but inside, I’m a mess. Start drinking. Man, I was going down. But then this great thing happened, maybe the best thing ever - I got arrested and sentenced to community service. And there you were - Charlie and the Ducks. And as hard as I fought it, there you were. You gave me a life, Charlie, and I want to say thank you. I told Orion about all of this when I talked to him about taking over. I told him that you were the heart of the team and that you would learn something from each other. I told him that you were the real Minnesota Miracle Man.

Charlie: You did?

Bombay: I did. So be that man, Charlie. Be that man.

It’s a callback to D2, when Jan tells Bombay “Be that man, Gordon. Be that man.” This scene is flawless. Every good thing that has happened to the Ducks, came because of Charlie’s heart. It came because of that game when Charlie refused to cheat, and made Bombay see his wrongs. It came because of when Bombay first tried to quit the team, and seeing how hurt Charlie was, agreed to stay. It was Charlie who stepped out of the game against Iceland so that Banks could play. It was Charlie who found them Russ. Giving the credit to a young, emotionally unstable teenager, rather than their Emilio Estevez, hotshot Bombay, is the best thing this series ever did.

This movie, in my opinion, is nearly flawless. Every moment has been planned to make the same point - change sucks. Especially when you’re a teenager. Even more so when you’re a teenager with trauma.

#the mighty ducks #gordon bombay #charlie conway #meta #i'm so proud of this pls read gay people!!!

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destiniesfic · 3 years

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132 Hours, Chapter 12

No, Cardan doesn’t hate the smell of cinnamon. And maybe somehow, inexplicably, he doesn’t hate me.

Note: This chapter contains explicit content. Proceed with caution!

Read chapter 12 on AO3, or read below:

I don’t know when I decide it.

Maybe it’s in that moment, curled up on that mattress, clutching at his shirt and wishing it wasn’t empty. That a boy was there to fill it with warmth and body, the shape of his kiss lingering on my forehead, the ghosts of his fingers in my hair. I stay like that for a long time, marveling at his gentleness. Then I peel off my dress and pull on his shirt. It’s big. It makes me wonder about the way he’d fit on me, against me.

Maybe it’s later, when the Bomb comes to check on me and sits down with me for a while, talking to me as I swallow my pride and blink back tears. “You’re doing so well,” she says, with her knees pulled into her chest, rocking back and forth on her heels. “You’re great. Not too much longer now.” And when she puts her hand on my shoulder, I wish she was Cardan, that her small hand was his larger one.

Maybe it’s after that, when the Ghost hangs out with me for a little while, standing, not sitting, propping himself up against the wall. “You want to watch anything?” he asks, as I blink at the glare in his palm and realize this is the first phone I’ve seen in almost five days. “News? Bachelorette season recaps?” I ask him to play an old episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved if we have the bars for it, and he does, tilting the screen in my direction. I appreciate his aloofness—it makes me feel like my situation is less dire—but I wish I were watching it with Cardan.

Maybe I never decide it. Maybe it was always decided for me, all the way back when I hit puberty, when I came back to school and suddenly he was the only thing I ever wanted to smell again. I don’t know. I don’t want to believe that biological determinism runs my life, that all our choices are coded into our genes. I want to have free will. Yet maybe it does all come down to that moment, when I scented him, and then a breeze picked up my hair and drove him absolutely bananas.

Because that must have been what happened. Because Cardan doesn’t hate cinnamon at all. Because he was just in here to help me drink down my water and tell me I was good. Because he tucked my hair behind my ear and seemed so sad when I asked him not to hurt me on purpose. Because he sat in the chair outside and rattled off a list of supposed achievements of mine, things he admired me for.

No, Cardan doesn’t hate the smell of cinnamon. And maybe somehow, inexplicably, he doesn’t hate me.

I don’t know when he decided that any more than I know when I decide this. Maybe it’s the spur of the moment. By the time Cardan returns that night, I am once again drenched in my own sweat and various other fluids, I am just about on the verge of screwing anything or anyone, and it feels like fire ants are crawling all over me. Still, I think I can push through it. My symptoms have been steadily escalating, so it’s not like any of this is new, just worse.

“Hi,” Cardan says, folding himself up in his usual corner. Lavender lingers in the air, riding the coattails of his scent. “How goes it?”

“Bad,” I manage. Single syllables are about my limit, even though the worst of my cramps have subsided for the moment.

“Yeah. I could’ve guessed.” He pauses, wrestling with himself over something. “Um, this is going to suck, undeniably, but I’m kind of glad to be back in here.”

“What?” I pick up my head. “You’re crazy.”

“For sure. You knew that already, right?” He laughs at himself, tilting his head back, exposing his throat to me. I think my mouth starts watering. God, I need this to be over. “But out there I kept wondering how you were doing. I was really distracted. I wanted to keep checking on you, make sure you were okay.” He shrugs. “It’s just… like, alpha stuff. Hardwired, instinct stuff.”

“Yeah,” I say mildly. I put my head back down.

“I can’t wait for this to be over.”

It’s weird how his words echo my thoughts. Feeling defensive, I say, “So you can go back to just caring about yourself?”

He raises an eyebrow. “Jude, if you think I care much about myself, your brain really is scrambled eggs.”

“I think you’re vain.”

“You would be too, if you were me. I like to look hot and wear nice clothes, so what?”

I roll my eyes.

“Vanity’s not what I’m talking about,” he continues. “Self-preservation, either.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know.” He runs a hand through his curls, distracted, restless. “I don’t know. But I don’t think either of us are very good at it.”

I turn over then. I don’t want to talk to him anymore. There’s a feeling in me, like smoldering embers, that has very little to do with my heat, with fever or desire. It takes a little prodding to realize that it’s annoyance, or even anger. I’m angry with him. Why am I angry with him?

Because I remember Cardan saying he wanted to take care of me. And the part of me that I tamp down on, the omega part, the vulnerable part, the part that is now exposed and very naked, very raw, wants that so much. If he doesn’t hate me, what is he waiting for? He’s the alpha. Everything points to him making the first move, and he is not moving.

Is he going to make me do it? He’s going to make me do it. Well, I hate him for it. I refuse.

Except when the next cramp rolls through me, it decimates my self-control.

“Cardan,” I whine.

Cardan has not said anything in a few minutes, so I think he might be sleeping, but he picks up his head immediately. “What, what is it?”

“Come here.”

I hear him inhale sharply. “Oh, fuck. Jude, no.”

“Why?” On the verge of tears, I try to twist toward him and end up with my shirt—his shirt—hiked up, my body tangled in the blankets. They scrape at my skin, but if I throw them off I’ll be too cold. Everything is discomfort, everything hurts. “Why not?”

He doesn’t answer.

“You think I’m disgusting,” I say for him. Some part of me is aware that I am babbling. Some part of me is aware that none of this is true. But it’s what I know. It’s what I revert to. And it’s easy to believe. I certainly feel disgusting. “You hate me.”

“No,” he says again, more quietly now.

“I know you hate me. You don’t want to want me. It’s okay. You don’t—have to like me.” My body spasms again. I thrash in the blankets. “Just touch me.”

“Jude.”

“It hurts so much.” My face is wet. Have I started crying? I rarely cry at pain. It must be sweat.

“You’ll hate me.” He’s trying to hold firm, but his voice shakes.

“I hate you a-already.” I duck my head into the pillow. I am not sure that’s entirely true anymore.

There is a long silence. In between my shivering and snuffling, I can hear the sound of Cardan’s breathing, ragged and heavy. “Are you sure?”

I nod, then remember he can’t see me very well. “Yes, yes. Just—”

I don’t know how he crosses the room so quickly, but one minute he is there, and the next he’s climbing on top of me, pulling down the blankets I’ve swathed myself in. I’m lying on my stomach, so I can’t see him, see what his face is doing, but I feel him. His hands are warm when they brush my skin. They do say alpha blood runs hot, don’t they? I feel a spark with every touch and can’t help writhing, trying to pull closer to him. My legs are still caught in a sheet.

“Okay, okay,” he says. “Okay. Just—hold still, okay?”

That’s easy for him to say. I growl, but still as best I can. With him so near, I am shaking.

Cardan pulls the borrowed shirt up over my head, the skims a hand down my bare spine. “God,” he says, and it’s kind of a sigh and kind of a growl in return. “You, I mean… Jude…”

“Hurry up,” I snap.

He takes his hand away, and I nearly sob. But then I hear fabric rustling behind me and realize he’s just pulling off his own shirt. He practically falls on top of me after, and when he slides a hand around me to rest against my lower abdomen, I can feel him trembling too.

“Oh, fuck,” Cardan breathes, when that hand trails into my shorts, between my legs, and he feels how absolutely soaked everything is —which would make me want to die of embarrassment if I wasn’t aching to be touched. I press into his hand, rub into it, and bite into the pillow under my face to keep from being too loud.

I kind of expect Cardan to pull out some of the cheesy lines alphas are supposed to say, like to tell me how wet I am or chuckle and say that I want it so bad, don’t I? But he’s as quiet as I am and just as desperate. His breath is hot and ragged on my neck. He makes a cursory effort to finger me and then abandons it, pulling my shorts down instead and positioning himself behind me. Maybe I should care that the foreplay’s cut short, but I don’t. Fingering’s not going to help me feel any better, I just need him to—

And then he does.

Oh.

I bite down hard again and accidentally catch my tongue in my mouth, tasting blood. That hurts.

“Jude?” Cardan asks, breathless. I must have made a sound.

I shake my head; isn’t he supposed to be so flooded with hormones that he’s incapable of coherent thought? I certainly am. “Go, go,” I urge him. It’s the only thing I can seem to say.

He starts moving his hips against mine. At first I think he’s trying to take it slow, but he quickly loses the plot. Both of his hands grip my waist, pulling me into him, pulling us together and apart, and I hold onto the pillow for dear life to muffle the sounds I know I’m making.

It doesn’t hurt, not after the first couple of thrusts. Does it feel good? It’s hard to say. It feels necessary. It feels like so much. And just when I think that maybe being filled up by him isn’t so bad, that maybe it’s actually kind of good, I am caught unawares by an orgasm that’s more like a full-body convulsion. There’s not a lot of pleasure in it, but at least there’s something like catharsis.

Cardan moans and surges forward, his chest pressing against my back. He isn’t done yet, but his rhythm is breaking, his hips rolling into mine at desperate, uneven intervals. I can’t think about what any of that means as I let my own climax work through me. All I know is that he’s suddenly gripping me tighter, and he presses in—all the way, all of him—and his teeth sink into my neck, just above the juncture with my shoulder.

“Ow!” I yelp, jamming my elbow back into his side. “What the hell?”

He comes back to himself and releases me. “Sorry, I’m—sorry,” he says, and I’m surprised how easily the words fall from his lips. He nuzzles the place where he bit me, then lets out a nervous chuckle. “That, oh, that wasn’t on purpose.”

I am confused for a moment before I remember what I had asked of him, just before all of this started. It is hard to think. “Are you trying to end up with a mate at nineteen?”

“Twenty.”

“Whatever. Get off of me.”

Now he pauses. “I… can’t.”

I kick myself. Of course he can’t. We had discussed this, and both of us know the logistics of it. We’re stuck like this for a while. I am uncomfortable and relieved at the same time; a choice has been taken away from me, but maybe it’s okay. The heat rolling off of him is keeping me comfortable, and he is trembling, oddly vulnerable. I’m not alone in that. Even better, my brain is no longer clouded by fever. It must have broken while we were distracted.

“Here,” he says, and he rolls us onto our sides, which is a little better. His arm is draped over my waist, and his skin is still warm—warmer now that I don’t feel so feverish. I can feel his face pressed to my hair, hear his breathing, so when he inhales deeply, there’s no hiding it.

“Are you smelling me?” I mean for it to come out hard, annoyed, but instead I feel like it sounds curious and calm. I am so tired, and a little achy, but water has been thrown over the frantic fire in my chest.

“What?” Cardan’s voice is soft and sleepy.

“Never mind.” I shift, settling against him. “You were definitely smelling me.”

“Mmm.” He noses at the nape of my neck. “You smell good.”

“The pheromones must be going to your brain, Greenbriar. I could have sworn I reeked.”

Now Cardan outright laughs. “You’re the worst omega I’ve ever met, you know.”

“You’re not such a great alpha either.” I turn my head to try to look back at him. “You don’t hate me?”

It comes out as more of a question than I mean for it to be. Cardan shifts uneasily behind me. “You should try to get some sleep. It’s probably going to start again soon.”

“Can you sleep like this?” I ask, incredulous. He is very hard and still very inside of me. But I think I had expected that to feel worse than it does, awkward and invasive. Instead, I am strangely comfortable. I got used to him quickly, and now he fits.

“Well, I guess I’ll find out—ah.” He presses his forehead to my shoulder and I feel his cock twitch inside me which is, frankly, weird. His hand grips my bicep, hard, and he shakes all over again. “Oh.”

“So that seems like a ‘no,’” I manage, feeling flushed all over. I had almost forgotten the purpose of knotting us together like this was to lock in semen and ensure a better chance of pregnancy. Ugh. I should be getting some of those spontaneous, rolling orgasms, too, but I don’t know if I want them. I mean, yes, in theory, orgasms are good, but not being able to control when they hit…

“I’ll get used to it.” His voice is strained.

“All I’ve done is sleep for two days,” I say, but I have to stifle a yawn as I say it. I also sweated, and shivered, and maybe cried. Plus, it’s not like any of the sleep I got was particularly restful. But I won’t admit he has a point about trying to sleep. “So you… do you like me?”

Cardan smooths his hand over my side. His trembling has subsided, and he turns his head to rest his cheek against my shoulder. “That’s what I was going to tell you,” he says, “when I followed you to the beach. Before we got taken.”

Nothing, not even the fact that I just had sex with Cardan Greenbriar—something that hasn’t really sunk in yet—could have shocked me more than that admission. “What?”

“Yeah, I was going to say, uh, sorry, and that I thought you were cool, and that maybe we could start over. Locke said Taryn said you’d be there, and I figured I wouldn’t have a chance once you got busy with college, so—”

I cut him off, because it seems like he might go on forever if I don’t. “So you were going to be like, ‘Sorry for the years of psychological damage, I actually like you, can I make out with your face?’”

“Yes?”

I laugh wildly. It’s like someone’s stuck a key in my chest and unlocked it. “Wow, you are really bad at this.”

He groans. “I know.”

“I would probably have punched you.”

“You’d be well within your rights.”

I pause. “Are you into that?”

“Huh.” Cardan considers this. “No, I don’t think so. I don’t actually know. I’m going to go with ‘No, I’m probably not into erotic face-punching.’ Except maybe if you did it.”

“Oh my god.” I hide my face in the pillow even though he can’t see me. “Terrible alpha.”

“The worst.”

“You like me.”

He drapes his arm over my waist. “You’re okay.”

“You do,” I insist, more to contradict him than anything else. Do I believe it? It is so hard to believe. And yet… “It’s the most… it’s the most stereotypical thing in the world. It’s a cliché. Alpha likes omega, alpha makes omega miserable over it.”

“Alpha and omega get locked in a basement together for a few days.” He nuzzles my shoulder. “That’s how that normally ends up, right?”

I shake my head. I don’t understand how I feel so different. Our circumstances haven’t really changed. Sure, I’m not in excruciating agony anymore, but we’re still kidnapped, waiting for ransom or rescue. And yet it’s like every part of me that was coiled up has come loose in his arms. I blink. “We had sex.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” I can picture his brow furrowing as he asks, “Wait, did you somehow not notice?”

“I should be freaking out,” I inform him. “I mean, this is—you’re—”

“Your body’s flooded with happy chemicals right now,” he reminds me. “Dopamine or whatever. If you’re going to freak out, it’ll happen when your heat’s over. All the way over.”

“Yeah, right.” I shiver, but pleasantly. I’m not sure if it’s an aftershock or something else. The mattress is still grody, the blankets are still scratchy, but I am somehow more cozy, more at ease, than I can remember being in a long time. I yawn again. “Cardan?”

“Mm-hm?”

“I think I could sleep like this.”

His hand brushes my hair away from the nape of my neck, and I feel his lips come to press against it. “You should,” he says. “I’ll make sure to wake you up before it starts again.”

Again. There’s going to be more, at least a few hours more. I don’t know what to do with that information, so I don’t do anything with it. That’s a problem for the Jude who’s had a little bit more rest. With Cardan’s face against my hair, and with his body fitted against mine, I steal a precious few minutes of real sleep for the first time in days.

#jurdan #jurdan fanfic #judecardan #jude x cardan #jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #tfota #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #mine: fic #fic: 132 hours

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