#but let's just say they still managed to ruin romance for me and thousands of other people anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alonetimelover · 8 months

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pairing: Harry Styles x booktuber!reader

summary: The internet speculates about whether Harry and YN are together. She admits to some hidden feelings to her best friend. He still cannot use his IG and buys any book that she recommends. Finally, something happens. But is it about them?

a/n: Second part of the booktuber!reader in celebration of 1000 of you following my little messy blog. i hope you enjoy it! love ya!

part 1 taglist

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harryupdates

liked by hArrysbtch, harrysmoustache and 57 593 others

harryupdates HARRY and YN via her best friend's IG story.

view all 5 842 comments

hArrysbtch THEY ARE SO CUTE I LOVE THEM

hArrysbtch also, that best friend of yn is really putting them in the spotlight, isn't she?

⤷ harrysmoustache that's what i said! wasn't she also the one with them in italy???

⤷ hArrysbtch you think she shared those photos?

⤷ harrysmoustache yeah, it's all connecting nicely

harrysmylife i mean... that can be a couple but best friends as well. like, i sit like this with my male best friend

harrysfan39 his dimples...

harrysfan87 she's so beautiful... has anybody said it already?

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CELEBRITY GOSSIP

HARRY STYLES, BOOKS, AND LOVE FROM A YOUTUBE VIDEO

If you are wondering if this article's title is stating that Harry Styles is a taken man, you would be correct. Starting with the simple YouTube video posted by the channel of the name ynrecommends and ending with a yacht vacation near the coast of Italy and burning romance.

But let's start at the beginning. The booktuber from ynrecommends (YN YSN) did a little video of reading books that Harry Styles recommended during his interviews and so on. Because of the Harries (name of Styles' fandom), the video skyrocketed and gained hundreds of thousands of views in a matter of a few days. That's probably how our heartbreaker found the video, leaving a little comment and not forgetting to flirt with the author (we love it!). You could say the story of them began right in front of our eyes.

It was a few months ago, and throughout them, there were multiple crumbs left by the couple. Joined bookshop travels, appearances in YN's vlogs and other videos, and of course, THAT vacation on Harry's yacht.

As our source that is very close to both of them says 'the romance started late in their time of knowing each other, because of their both overflowing schedules and fear of ruining the friendship.' What is more, we didn't only get the words but also photos that clearly confirm the romance between the rock star of our generation and the indie booktuber despite YN's claims of 'being single and very happy with it.'

Is that how you are with your 'friends'?

What do you think is true, our sources claims or YN's words?

Source 74%

YN's words 26%

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Text messages between YN and her best friend

ynn🧠 my lovely, favourite best friend, i have a little, tiny question bestie🫦 i'm your only best friend maybe besides Harold...🙄 ynn🧠 yeah yeah, i know you like him, don't hide it buuuuut, back to my question... bestie🫦 yes yes, what's up? ynn🧠 i'm not accusing you of anything, i just wanna ask if you send somebody the photo album from italy? bestie🫦 remember that ig account we did in uni? i thought it would be a nice idea to turn it into a little photo diary. i put some of the photos there. i told you on the boat, like a week ago. why? ynn🧠 i forgot about it, im so sorry! but someone from that account must have seen those photos and sold them to that gossip magazine... whole internet thinks im harry's girlfriend. i got like 50 dms asking how much i paid him to be with me bestie🫦 fuck im so sorry, sweetheart! i totally didn't think about it. tbh, i kinda forgot he was famous while being there with you two ynn🧠 yeah, i forget about it whenever i see him and don't be sorry, baby! it's not your fault some of those people will do anything to gain even a little bit of money i only asked because harry's manager needed to know if any of our photos were hacked or somethin' bestie🫦 was harry mad about the article? ynn🧠 he said that after years of having bullshit having written about him, he got used to it. but i can see that it bothers him that he can't have a moment for himself bestie🫦 fuck, im gonna bake him some good cake as an apology ynn🧠 it's not your fault!!!! harry knows it bestie🫦 okay, but im baking something anyway and btw, that article isn't so far from the truth, is it? ynn🧠 what do you mean? bestie🫦 oh, come on! you two act like a couple whenever you're together! there must be something there ynn🧠 ... there's not, really. we never talked about it but just fell to that closeness as friends. you know how touchy i am with people that im comfortable with, he's the same. it just looks like we're a couple, but no bestie🫦 but you want more, don't you? ynn🧠 i value him too much as a friend to think about it

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, hArrysbtch and 251 382 others

yourinstagram first day on this fancy boat, and i was crawling (freaking scared to fall into the water) and in the last few days, i was swinging myself on this little hammock, crazy days, crazy

thank you harrystyles for putting it up for me, love ya my bff

view all 34 428 comments

harrystyles You ditched me for those books

⤷ yourinstagram they are literally my job

⤷ harrystyles You took 30 books with yourself. A seond suitcase just for them.

⤷ yourinstagram blah blah blah you took two guitars

⤷ harrystyles That's literally my job.

⤷ yourinstagram yeah, that's what i said

harryupdates brave move, yn

hArrysbtch i'm waiting (impatiently) for the next video

⤷ yourinstagram it's coming, it's coming. a little vid of italians recommending me their favourite books!

harrysmoustache not the little explaination of that on ephoto from that article 'i was crawling, cause i'm scared'

⤷ harrysmylife subtle but to the point

stylebabie 'my bff' i know she is cackling behind that little screen

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harrystyles

liked by yourinstagram, yourbestfriend, harryupdates, annetwist and 18 201 383 others

harrystyles momento magico in italia

view all 482 381 comments

yourinstagram thankfully that photo was taken before me almost drawning

⤷ harrystyles i rescued you

⤷ yourinstagram if by rescue you mean laugh, panic and then dive and almost make me drown again, then yes, you did rescue me

jeffazzof Harry.

⤷ harrystyles Jeffrey.

⤷ jeffazzof Check the account.

⤷ harrystyles Oh.

hArrysbtch hsdfUHFJHLVBRIAP what the fuck ehat the fuck

hArrysbtch i am so confused right now

harrysmoustache you guys are playing with us

harryupdates wrong account, harry!

annetwist Bellissima 😍

harrysmylife the flower, the EARRINGS, yn, the cat... i cannot.... this man is a menace to the society

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hArrysbtch

liked by harryupdates and 3 402 others

hArrysbtch this video was worth the wait! yn is one of the best and realest youtuber out there. plus, harry filmed this episode for her so it's even better

view all 928 comments

harryupdates I loved it too! the little moments of them interacting behind the camera kept in the video were absolute gems!!!

⤷ hArrysbtch YES!!! it was so funny and wholesome

harrysmoustache harry's little 'i think you'd like this shot' during a moment when yn is walking down the alley.... soooo cute i love them

stylesbabie this is my first video of hers that i watched and i am so mad at myself. this is the best booktuber channel i've ever come across

harrysmylife yn interacting with Harry's italian friends, having harry translate the recommendations from people on the street and him just hyping her up... just so freaking cute

harrymylove i don't care if they are together or just friends, i just enjoy watching them be together, like, next to each other. it's so refreshing and lovely

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londonboyharry

liked by harryupdates, hArrysbtch and 10 318 others

londonboyharry this is what I saw while walking around the park near my hotel in italy... Harry literally made yn stop mid-sentance and said 'wait, i need to take a photo of you.' i- i was melting and couldn't believe my eyes and ears

view all 2 307 comments

hArrysbtch he is so boyfriend

hArrysbtch like, he must be, come on

harrysmoustache i say i don't care if they are together or not. but i do. i so do. i want them together more than i want myself to find a partner

harrysmylife BEST FRIEND/COUPLE ON EARTH

harrysfan88 i love that we're all confused about them

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yourbestfriend

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 34 028 others

yourbestfriend put those two in a room with books and that's what you get...

view all 5 301 comments

yourinstagram i was just looking through the atlas, come on

harrystyles And I was actually reading, not faking like some of us.

⤷ yourinstagram oh fuck off

⤷ harrystyles This is not so treat people with kindness of you.

hArrysbtch i love the fits so much

harrysmoustache this si so frustraiting

⤷ harrysfan49 why are you so obsessed with them? leave them be

⤷ harrysmoustache i just want to know if i can call them the best couple on the planet

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harryupdates

liked by harrysmylife and 32 482 others

harryupdates HARRY with a fan today in London!

view all 4 302 comments

hArrysbtch he's so cute

hArrysbtch wait, yn wore that t-shirt in her latest vlog

⤷ harrysmoustache sharing clothes????

harrysmylife he looks so cute, i want to put him in my pocket

stylesbabie the cardigan is back, guys

harrysfan87 i am the one who met him!

⤷ harryupdates how was it?

⤷ harrysfan87 magical! he stopped after walking out of the bookstore when i walked up to him. he had a bag full of books. i asked him what he was buying and he said 'oh, ehmm, i have crime and punishment, hamnet, emma and some Sally Rooney here'

⤷ hArrysbtch that guy is just buying anything yn recommends...

⤷ stylesbabie but none of it was in her italian vlog?

⤷ hArrysbtch yes, but those are the books from her 'summer to autumn reads' video

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yourinstagram

liked by harrystyles, yourbestfriend and 1 019 392 others

yourinstagram story in two acts... 🏡📚

view all 23 492 comments

harrystyles Scandalous.

⤷ yourinstagram Forgot you have sensitive eyes after a bad night sleep.

⤷ harrystyles I slept very well last night, thank you.

yourbestfriend 👀

⤷ yourinstagram 🫣

hArrysbtch WTFSAJFHOAUW no way

hArrysbtch this is confirmation, isn't it?

⤷ harrysmoustache i think so

⤷ harrysmylife but... we don't know if that really is harry

harrysmoustache she bold and she sexy

comment liked by harrystyles, yourbestfriend and 234 others

jeffazzof Congratulations, YN.

⤷ harrystyles thanks jeff!!!!

comment deleted

⤷ yourinstagram thanks jeff!!!

⤷ harrysmoustache girl, we saw that!

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a/n: do we think yn and harry finally got together?

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📌: @daniellef89x @crazygirlinthisworld @ameerakane20 @golden-hoax @sleutherclaw

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles instagram #harry styles fake ig #booktuber!reader

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the-chihayafuru-landslide · 1 year

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In Defense of the Ending of Chihayafuru [PART 1]

Well I never thought I would be writing something like this because mainly I wanted to use my blog to discuss Taichihaya because that’s all my biased ass is interested in is the romance. I’m a consistent bitch through and through, unlike some of y’all. But I feel this topic is a bit more of a pressing matter since currently people over on twitter have been fist fighting in PQRT over the ending (still lol). Which, you know my ass couldn’t stay out of because I love pissing myself off and being boo boo the fool.

Posting this again just as a petty reminder since I am sore winner.

One of the best tweets in recent memory was someone calling Taichihaya a tacked on wattpadd romance and was Suetsugu selling out to thirsty fans. I truly think it’s lovely people think that Suetsugu had so little integrity and would would spend 15 years on a manga and throw it down the drain in the final chapter! Nah, if that was the case and she genuinely wanted to placate everyone, I think she would have picked the friendship route. (Especially since Arata won the most recent online [ rigged ] popularity poll lmao I’m sure she was nervous as hell when that happened) If there was no romance conclusion then both Taichihayas and Chiharatas alike would be shrugging our shoulders and fighting in the parking lot behind a Burger King till the end times. Honestly, I’m so glad we don’t live in that timeline because I don’t think I could handle being a Taichihaya solider against these absolute units. Their stubborn persistence in their own biased reading of Chihayafuru is truly remarkable despite the thousands of arguments that have been thrown at them. I wish I was so uncritical in my life because my thoughts are constantly oscillating when presented with new information to try and get to the closest version of the “truth”. Which requires you to admit when you are wrong and not be blinded by your own hubris. Heh (I’m realizing now why people don’t like me considering I say shit like this completely straight)

Before we address some of the writing criticisms that have been thrown at the ending, let’s get this obligation out of the way: the ending is not perfect. No singular piece of media is and can ever be. But for what Suetsugu managed to accomplish and (IMO) hitting every necessary story beat in 80 pages is actually very impressive. I’ll be honest, I was at times shaking my head wondering how she could do it.

Suetsugu was writing this manga for 15 years and was trying to get to the ending as quickly as she could (originally she wanted it to end it in 49 volumes but got convinced by her editor to stretch it to 50 volumes which thank god). So using the words of someone else (who every so often says something that I regrettably agree with), I think we can all afford to give this mangaka a bit of grace.

At the same time no matter what the conditions were for the ending’s creation, the ending still is what it is and that doesn’t make it above criticism. But some of the criticisms I’ve had the pleasure to read (derogatory) have made me want to rip out my hair. I can’t even be nice, y’all are just being fuckin purposely obtuse, hypocritical, or partaking in bad faith cinema sins level criticism.

I can understand being frustrated as hell that things didn’t resolve the way you thought they would (trust me I’d still be crying to this day if Taichihaya wasn’t canon) but the actual hoops people have tried to jump through, like criticizing things that UP UNTIL THE LAST CHAPTER DID NOT BOTHER THEM IN THE SLIGHTEST, so they can point to anything other than what they are really mad about: that the ship they wanted to see didn’t end up happening and that Arata and Chihaya’s relationship not being romantical in the end has apparently no merit unless Chihaya told him EXPLICITLY at the end what a special little boy he is. I’d have more respect for some of you if you just came out and said it outright instead of being like every other theme and arc was also ruined by Chihaya’s confession lmao. I guess that’s just Chihaya’s power as a protagonist to ruin her own story by confessing. SHE IS A QUEEN IN EVERY SENSE. But of course people don’t want to say they were upset about the shipping b/c they spent how long (years?) tearing down those dastardly Taichihayas for only caring about that! Oh how the turntables.

Now I’m a chaotic individual and this entire thing is written purely in spite (I’m reading Skip Beat so I’m living my Kyoko fantasy) but before we get into the meat of my arguments; I’m going to break down the criticisms I’ve read about the ending into three categories:

1. Unresolved Plot Points

2. Unsatisfying conclusions to plot points

3. Things we should have seen but didn’t

I’m going to be discussing all three types of criticisms loose and free because thankfully I am not in academia anymore. So it’s going down, I’m yelling timberrrr. I just want to mention, with added emphasis, when I am discussing the criticisms filed under the third point- “things we should have seen but didn’t”, I want to acknowledge that it is ok for people to be sad about not seeing the thing they wanted to see. Even if thing wasn’t that important, and didn’t actually ruin the story.

I too had many things I wanted to see that Suetsugu did not feel necessary to include. Like yeah sure, I got my ship and even my crack ship (Arata x Sumire shippers manifesting their ship out of thin air like they were rubbing a lamp) yet I am greedy as hell. For all of our suffering as Taichihaya shippers (me for like 6 months some people for a literal decade) with Taichi and Chihaya being purposely kept apart in the story for literal years; at the end when they finally are a couple I wanted to see Taichihaya dating fluff and also their wedding (the way I felt so emboldened by reading the spin off for Eden No Hana that I truly believed it could happen). I should mention real quick that I sorta think ending a story with characters getting married is at this point a bit outdated and also kind of idk “tacky” yet the fervour I wanted to see a Taichihaya wedding made the feminism crawl back inside me and die. My life is filled with contradictions.

However, with things we want to see, to judge whether or it was necessary and or good to be included in the story we have to ask ourselves these questions: what does it add to the story? Is it necessary? What themes does it build? Is it redundant? Is it fun? Does it help resolve plot elements? Does it build characters? Etc etc etc

I actually do think some Taichihaya dating fluff would have been a nice way to wrap up the ending on a nice positive outlook for Chihaya and Taichi’s future together and provide a bit of breathing room after all the trauma and depression that’s happened (WE WERE SUFFERING FOR 100 CHAPTERS AND ALMOST 10 YEARS). I WASN’T EVEN ASKING FOR ANYTHING THAT DEEP IT COULD BE TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WALKING SIDE BY SIDE FOR A SINGLE PANEL HOLDING HANDS.

This could have been us and I would have been satisfied BUT NOooooo

IT would have been fkin nice, yet it wasn’t completely necessary. We kind of /got this/ with the slight time skip the end. You just have to squint your eyes and read it through subtext (something apparently Taichihayas are good at lmao).

With the final pages of the story we got: Taichi and Chihaya confirmed to be dating, them wearing tasukis together in the final spread (y’know as they did before as a team lmao), and Chihaya’s random hair change suggesting maybe they went on a date beforehand… Yeah these things suggest that the two of them are doing well despite living in different cities, attending different universities, and not even being able to see each other since they started dating (fk me up). Does it hurt me that’s all we got in the ending? You know it does. Do I completely agree with Yuki Suetsugu’s writing choice? No. I WANT A MORSEL OF FLUFF OF SOMETHING I AM A STARVING VICTORIAN CHILD AND I NEED A SINGLE CRUMB. The way we only got a single panel in the spin off chapter and it Taichi and Chihaya in the same tournament just a different angle… IT IS A CRIME BUT don’t worry about me, I’m completely fine yep CoOl as a cUcumber. We as a fandom expect nothing so we bounce off the walls when we are served air.

Ok what was the point of this rant? Oh, that we all want to see things for fun even when they don’t serve a purpose because it makes us happy and isn’t the point of stories… enjoyment? However, I’m going to be a dick and shit on your dreams because I didn’t get everything I wanted, why should you lmao.

But again, I do understand the lamenting at least.

Alright now I’m done the intro (if you can call all of that nonsense an intro) let’s discuss the actual criticisms. Again this is in no particular order and I won’t be addressing every single criticism I’ve ever read (like not even gonna touch the 2chan comments about Chihaya being a sl*t because I don’t feel like giving misogynists the time of day lmao) just the ones I feel like.

[ 1 ] Taichi’s Arc Was Ruined by Chihaya’s Confession

You know this would be the first thing I would address because I am the number one most die hard annoying Taichi fan (or at least I hope people think of me as so). I actually have an unfinished twitter thread on why Taichi’s arc wasn’t ruined, which will someday see the light of day, so for now I won’t go in as much detail (LMAO unfortunately this isn’t at all concise, the things I do for this fictional man).

Taichi’s character was apparently supposed to be the personification of a loser and Arata a winner. Y’know because Arata was bullied in his childhood and in a stylized reality that means you get everything you have ever wanted and the person who bullied you can never be redeemed instead has to be punished by the universe forever for the crimes of his youth. It’s just and completely fair, yes, if you make one mistake when you are 10 it will define you for the rest of your life.

Ok jokes aside, I think the majority of the fandom /kind of/ understood the vague outline of Taichi’s arc: it was about taking a risk and not being a coward. It actually takes a kind of vulnerability to actually put effort into something: whether that be a relationship or a sport because all of your hard work could literally amount to nothing. Losing only hurts if you care about winning. But winning only feels like a win when it is earned (maybe that’s why nobody cared that Arata got Meijin because his ass was at times too OP lmao). This applies both Karuta (Taichi’s initial belief that there was no point in taking Karuta seriously because he could never beat Arata) and in love (he dated some random girl he didn’t care about b/c it was easy).

So in that sense, I somewhat agree with Taichi’s arc was about appreciating the journey “to love that desperation” to keep trying and not take the easy way out. That getting rejected after you confess your feelings to the girl you’ve been in love since childhood and losing by a huge margin of 18 cards fkin sucks and will hurt so much; but that doesn’t make any of the time spent on it worthless. Not only that, but you can and should still keep trying. (In Karuta I mean. If you get rejected please don’t be like Arata and say lmao I’ll try again because I’m moving to your city to be closer to you)

Even though Taichi had a tenuous love/hate relationship with Karuta, At the end of the day, it still gave Taichi everything that is dear to him: his friends, teachers, and the dream to bet his whole youth. Hence why I will fight to say I that I do like the hug with Arata b/c Taichi finally got acknowledged by his rival (or his core). It just stings after Arata smoked Taichi’s ass with an 18 card victory lmao. Like on the one hand yippee Arata acknowledged him… on the other Arata giving a hug still reads a bit patronizing sorry idc. I love and hate the hug. I look at the panel of them hugging and I’m like aww my babies :) then I read the whole arc and I’m liek TAKE YOUR FKIN HUG ARATA AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. Sorry I got off topic there. (Unfortunately this is neither the first or last time that will happen).

The ending wraps up Taichi’s arc perfectly because he spent the whole manga not really having a firm Karuta “dream” (goal?) of his own (he kind of does but it’s too complex to get into right now so for simplicity’s sake we’ll say this). He watched his friends make a pact to become Meijin and Queen and though he basically facilitated this moment, he was not included. The “outsider”, the one left behind while Chihaya and Arata had bond through their Karuta dream.

No Taichi did not need to be symbolically made the reader at the end of the story- this was the perfect use of the childhood imagery to show how Taichi felt like the worthless one in their friend group.

Taichi had every reason to quit Karuta after he got his single win against Arata (and also because Chihaya had “rejected” him). Instead, seeing his friends accomplish their dreams inspired him to keep trying. (Hence his practice swings in the hallway). Then at the end of it all he challenged Arata that he would come back next year and take the Meijin title, throwing himself back into Karuta after his most devastating 18 card loss. The difference now from before lies in Taichi’s motivations. Before he wanted to win for other people: he wanted Suou to visit his family and he wanted to see Chihaya’s win from the closest spot. Which is not necessarily a bad reason to do things, but a central theme of Chihayafuru from the first chapter is making a dream for YOURSELF. So when he finally challenges Arata at the end it’s the perfect ending to his arc because he’s doing it for nobody else other than himself. He’s already lost the chance to win Chihaya’s love through Karuta and Suou has visited with his family that he’s been avoiding for all these years.

Alright so now that we’ve covered his Karuta arc, so what about the romance arc? Obviously, Taichi was a loser there too because he got rejected after confessing his feelings to Chihaya (until Chihaya pulled an uno reverse at the end).

Immediately after getting rejected, Taichi distanced himself from Chihaya and also the club completely cutting himself off from all of them (mostly). But this action was never narratively treated as Taichi trying to punish Chihaya. SO MANY PEOPLE interpreted this action as emotional manipulation since OOO he hurt her feelings. Yeah, her feelings were hurt and so were his? If he was actually manipulating her, then he’d have to have some underlying goal he was trying to accomplish? Taichi was basically like me very sad and right now I don’t want to be around Chihaya anymore or my friends or the sport I loathe (but love) because I’m not a superhuman robot and I do have feelings and those feelings right now are suffocating me fdkcnkjac. HE NEVER ONCE ACTED LIKE THIS WAS SOME MASTER SCHEME TO GET HER TO LOVE HIM OR TEACH HER A LESSON AS REVENGE FOR HURTING HIM. He just needed space because he wanted to figure out who he was and also at this point his perfect grades were suffering. Chihaya’s rejection wasn’t the only thing that made him quit the club anyways- he was already going through a downwards spiral LONG BEFORE THIS starting with his loss against Chihaya at Yoshino. Chihaya’s rejection was just the final drop in a cup that was already too full. It was going to spill over regardless and Chihaya’s love wouldn’t have saved him.

In fact Taichi never brought up his rejection to her at all. The only scene that we got where Taichi truly acted poorly (and even then it didn’t really affect Chihaya) was when he derived some satisfaction of knowing that Chihaya was hurting because of him. It’s a very real emotion even if it’s an ugly one; which I’m sure we’ve all felt at sometime in our life… But it’s a feeling which he himself feels guilty about having. Because maybe… he doesn’t actually… Want to hurt Chihaya? But because he thinks the worst of himself, the fact he even felt momentarily good that she might be hurting too, makes him not want to ever be apart of Chihaya’s life anymore (he can’t go back). Yes this is all apart of his master scheme where he selfishly thinks that he doesn’t even deserve to be in Chihaya’s life! Taichi the incel or whatever.

Taichi and Chihaya did eventually start mending their relationship slowly and gradually over the course of the last 100 chapters. Taichi came back to watch Chihaya win against Arata, he apologized for ditching the club, they cleaned the clubroom together (things accumulated), and then they played as a team in the Qualifiers and Challengers. Taichi had time to process the rejection but based on the final chapter, and tbh EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER AFTER 205, seeing Chihaya and Arata side by side accomplishing their dreams and looking like an amazing couple (y’know thing he wanted for himself) hurts him even if he is also simultaneously happy for them. Taichi is written like a human being and not a happy go lucky robot that can take every single L in life and be better off for it.

Part of Taichi’s initial motivations for becoming good at Karuta were toxic: he wanted to get good so that Chihaya could notice him and then maybe she would fall in love with him. Since Taichi knew Chihaya was a “Karuta Baka” and seemingly only got flustered when she saw someone with skill (for example her first “crush” was on her married sensei LMAO).

Like was Taichi himself CLEARLY THINKS THAT CHIHAYA NEEDS A KARUTA MAN TO LOVE. Which he’s kinda right about at least initially lol.

So for Taichi actually the most important thing was not to “get over” his love for Chihaya, in fact what Taichi needed to find his own reasons to play Karuta outside of Chihaya’s love. Almost like it might have been linked to a void speech Or sOMething.

In the end, he FINALLY picks himself and his feelings by moving away instead of doing everything in his life for Chihaya’s sake (and lol he was never gonna stay in Tokyo just for Arata be serious). Which to me is not a bad idea, considering how much of his feelings he still carried the distance would help him be able to move on. It would not be good for anyone for him to remain in Tokyo being completely miserable and jaded while your two friends are in the beginning stages of their relationship (cause yeah Taichi the #1 strongest Chiharata believer in the manga). He was stepping away at least partially for their sakes as well.

Nor do I consider his decision to leave Tokyo a “cowardly” move? Taichi is leaving behind his life, his friends, his sensei(s), and his family and moving to someplace completely new. That takes bravery. Arata at least has a support network in Tokyo (outside of Chihaya and Taichi even!) like Hydro, Nishida, and the Shirinami society… who tf does Taichi even know in Kyoto lmao.

Unfortunately Taichi was not completely ok by the end of the manga. Sorry, it didn’t fit into your neat little timeline for when you thought Taichi should be comfortable being the third wheel for his two Karuta baka friends. He has the self esteem of a broken kite. Badum tsssss.

Nor was it like he dropped the news that he was moving away with the intention of hurting Chihaya even more and manipulating her to fall in love with him.

Taichi if he was still in his villain arc: “don’t call me. Don’t come to my house. We’re done.”

In Taichi and Chihaya’s final conversation in the clubroom Taichi doesn’t hide that he’s moving and states he simply needs a change of scenery but assures Chihaya that they will surely see each other again because they will always have Karuta. That is the exact same promise they made to each other as they were kids; a promise of everlasting friendship through their shared passions.

Sure, one could argue, because he wasn’t in Tokyo, they wouldn’t be as close as they before the break up and therefore he “didn’t really give her their friendship back”… BUT TAICHI AND CHIHAYA WOULD NEVER BE AS CLOSE as they were in high school!! In high school they were able to see each other every single day. BUT even if Taichi had stayed in Tokyo, all of them (Arata included) would be going to different universities. They would all be busy with their own studies and would probably only see each other at the Shirinami society (if Taichi and Chihaya only remained friends). So to be honest the distance only really stings if they decided to date (which they did so fk me upppp). Like it’s part of growing up, you don’t get to see your school friends as often anymore. It sucks, but that’s the way life is. But that doesn’t mean your friendship is worthless because you don’t live in the same city anymore? WE HAVE CELLPHONES.

We can debate all we want if Taichi wouldn’t have moved to Kyoto IF Chihaya confessed earlier but ultimately it doesn’t change the fact that in the end he put his feelings first. Which is what he should do!! HE SHOULD NOT ROLL OVER AND GET STEAM ROLLED BY TRYING TO LIVE HIS LIFE SELFLESSLY FOR ARATA AND CHIHAYA FCK YOU.

Off topic rant: but when Arata announced to Taichi that he was moving to Tokyo why did people think that it was something Arata did for Taichi? At that point TAICHI DEADASS THOUGHT TO HIMSELF SCREW YOU ARATA YOU’RE MY ENEMY. Arata did not know how to read the fking room it was lowkey embarrassing for him!! He didn’t ask Taichi if he wanted him there he assumed that they all wanted the trio back together. At this point in time TAICHI DID NOT.

However, the most important reason why it didn’t ruin Taichi’s arc is that Chihaya’s confession is not framed as Taichi’s “reward” for being cool with them being friends. Chihaya’s agency is at the forefront of her confession - it’s absolutely her choice. It’s the culmination of Chihaya’s arc of self discovery and finally being able to express her feelings with the help of her friends and finally knowing what those feelings are. She had been pondering her damn feelings for Taichi for 100 chapters like I’m very sorry that you missed it- but that’s on you

Just because it’s an annoying trope in other media where the rejected boy was the one the protagonist wanted all along does not instantly make it bad when it appears in a story… you have to look at how it’s executed. I know you some of you wanted a “progressive” story where the rejected boy “friend friend” would continue just be your closest friend even after getting rejected. But if that’s what you wanted, we got that with Arata? So like… huh. Why does it NEED to be Taichi? Is the universe who has it out for him or is it you because you hate him.

Chihaya’s confession wasn’t about Taichi’s feelings nor Arata’s but hers and hers alone so stfu about it “ruining Taichi’s arc” bitch ass what? It only ruins his arc if you were grading it under the incorrect assumption that Taichi’s big lesson was that he needed to be a loser in every aspect of life while Arata is a special boy who did nothing wrong ever therefore gets everything <3 IT WAS NEVER IMPLIED THAT SUETSUGU WAS WRITING TAICHI THIS WAY NOR IS THIS THEME THROWN OUT IF TAICHI IS THE ONE WHO GETS LOVED BACK? WHY DOES HE NEEDED TO BE A LOSER IN EVERYTHING?? HE ALREADY LOST IN KARUTA AND MADE PEACE WITH “LOSING” IN LOVE. I think it’s better actually that disappointment in life was split between two characters (Arata and Taichi) because it’s realistic that every character faces some disappointment in their life and has learn to cope?

Which is a perfect Segway to my next point:

[ 2 ] Arata needed to be formally rejected (again but better)

In the hell that is Chihayafuru discourse land where there are clowns on either side of the argument: there are two camps when it comes to Chihaya’s “answer” (or not a reply) to Arata’s confession. There are those who believe that Arata was never rejected that Chihaya instead said “wait until after I am Queen and then I’ll reject you” and there are those who believe Arata had already been soft rejected in ch 173.

It was funny the collective breakdown the other side had when Suetsugu said in a now deleted tweet that Arata had been soft rejected here and he knew it… THIS WAS HIS RESPONSE? SO MUCH FOR THEIR BOUNDARY RESPECTING KING

I was, of course, in the camp that believed that Arata had been soft rejected in this moment because Chihaya said “this is what’s up right right now” and mentioned nothing about having feelings for him. She just wanting to accomplish her dream and be the best in the world at Karuta. Saying “I’m focusing on other things” is actually not an uncommon way to let down people in Japan since it is more polite than saying outright that you’re not interested. Moreover, Chihaya never asks him to wait for a response… You’ll notice he says all of that about “coming closer” to her unprovoked. But I’m not discussing whether or not this was a rejection (this time). For the sake of the argument, let’s say Arata wasn’t rejected here… Then what.

This is apparently what people wanted Chihaya to say to him:

“Arata I realized at chapter 93 that I will always love you and Karuta but I actually lied to myself. You see I wanted to bait the omniscient presence that watches over my life because I like making people look like clowns. But yeah, don’t worry not all is lost I do love you but maybe like a friend though not a lover. Even though your confession was the one I preferred because it was like a marriage proposal. Anyways at least you’re Meijin and I am so utterly grateful for you all you’ve done for me like introducing me to the sport. Thanks so much for being the biggest support of me like when you made a team so I could beat your ass. Anyways learn how to use your phone ok? Love ya but not that way bye!”

Ok sorry LOL moving on. So the camp that thinks Chihaya did not reject Arata in that moment, did everyone think that Chihaya’s answer to his confession was “yes” and that she knew in that moment but she wanted to wait until after she had accomplished her dream to tell him so? GOD IT’S SO HARD TO EVEN ADDRESS CRITICISMS OF THE ENDING WITHOUT HAVING TO BREAK DOWN WHY THESE BELIEFS HAD NO PROPER FOUNDATION TO STAND ON TO BEGIN WITH. Because if Chihaya knew in that moment that she loved Arata back, wouldn’t she have said “this is an answer to your response” or MAYBE she would have said something along what Rion said to Makoto.

LIKE SENSEI DIDN’T PUT THIS IN FOR FUNSIES IT WAS TO TRY AND HELP PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER YOURSELF. “IS IT BETTER NOT TO SAY THIS NOW?”

So anyways, Chihaya did not promise after becoming the best in Japan that she would respond to him with a yes. In fact, she never said she would respond to him at all? So…

With the two added pages off in the Tankobon, it became clear that Chihaya didn’t even have all of her feelings sorted out by the time she became Queen. So we can simply write off Arata needing to be formally rejected directly after he won Meijin because Chihaya did not know yet how she felt. Thank you so much Suetsugu for that.

Which even if she had fully sorted her feelings and decided that she loved Tacihi… I agree with the notion that it would actually be super shitty for Chihaya to ruin probably the best day of Arata’s life with a rejection? Like “congrats on the win buddy, anyways I don’t love you! Ok BYE”

Like why would you think that is a better outcome for him? But I get it, this would be the last moment Chihaya and Arata would see each other before uni because of the simple fact he lived in Fukui so if she was going to say something in person then it would have to be there.

But thankfully Arata gave Chihaya a little more leniency, to you know, let him know how she felt (if it was any different) when he moved to Tokyo. So quite frankly it’s not even like he asked her to respond to him after she became best in the world EITHER.

So then the alternative to telling him in person would be to what… Text Arata the moment Chihaya and Taichi started dating? PLEASE HOW WOULD A TEXT BE BETTER? I don’t know, YOU GUYS ALWAYS SAID Arata was apparently pretty chill waiting too? So it’s not like he was urgently fading away and they were so heartless for not texting him the MOMENT they got together. What is he, the Jesus in their relationship?

I just wanted a reason to put this meme here

So I think honestly the best thing was in fact to tell Arata TOGETHER the next time Taichi and Chihaya saw him in person. Chihaya did not need to pull him aside alone and have a deep conversation and tell him his worth to her as a friend? Their relationship would actually remain the same because the thing Arata did want the most was a future where the three of them (the trio) could be together whereas TAICHI WANTED A FUTURE ALONE WITH CHIHAYA.

Like for example Taichi even though he had more time to process his rejection it’s not like him and Chihaya ever had a heart to heart about what happened either so it’s odd you think Taichi would have not needed one but Arata should have?

I also think Arata probably won’t need as much time to process the rejection because he’s already been established to brush off adversary quickly. Plus let’s give him a little credit he’s been waiting for almost a year for a response for his confession like… The guy should have had time to think perhaps Chihaya’s answer would be no with how long it took to get back to him. Does that make him a bit pathetic? Yeah. And that’s ok because I love a pathetic man.

Taichi’s presence was probably also needed because when you think about it last time Chihaya tried to reject Arata he said “just you wait I’m coming to be closer to you”. SO maybe she thought oh if my boyfriend is here he’ll take it as a clearer no… BUT THEN ARATA STILL MADE THAT JOKE ABOUT WINNING HER AT 28 REGARDLESS. Like Arata my little bi disaster please you’re not helping your own case cdndkncj. But honestly no hate to Arata using comedy to cope. WHY DO YOU THINK I AM SO FUNNY?? I learned at a young age if you make fun of the way people make fun of you that their insults hurt less. Wow I’m dropping my trauma in the essay about the ending of Chihayafuru I’m so classy.

But the biggest thing is CHIHAYA SHOULD NOT HAVE TO REJECT ARATA BEFORE CONFESSING TO THE GUY SHE LIKES. Like you guys are fricking weird placing more importance over Arata’s feelings INSTEAD OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS?? IT’S HER ARC OF SELF DISCOVERY AND I WOULD NOT HAVE EXPECTED HER TO GO BACK AND TALK TO TAICHI BEFORE ACCEPTING ARATA’S CONFESSION EITHER.

It’s funny coming from the people being like “I SHIP THE SHIP WHERE THE GIRL CLEARLY LIKES THE GUY AND YOU LOSERS ARE NOT RESPECTING HER AGENCY CAUSE SHE REJECTED THE OTHER” the way that broke down when the character picked the one you didn’t like or even consider could be still in the running.

So no, the story didn’t need Arata to be re-rejected in a more formal manner in the ways you guys are suggesting. However, I do think some aftermath for Arata’s story was actually necessary as he didn’t feel like he fully “grew up” compared to Taichi and Chihaya. Then my wish was granted because in the spin off chapter we see Arata coping with his heartbreak and moving to a new city without the expectation having his childhood trio back again.

LIKE in the spin off Chihaya, Taichi, and Arata’s relationship is honestly the best it’s ever been? They text each other more frequently (Arata learned how to use his cellphone) and Arata even talks to Chihaya without stumbling over his words and being awkward. It was so refreshing.

Obviously Arata was hurting a bit. After all, it was his first heartbreak and he spent idk 2 years with a crush on Chihaya? Now that he’s in Tokyo he’s feeling… lonely. Which is ironic because when he was in Fukui he felt loneliness because of the distance. Even so, moving to Tokyo was actually good for him because he is making new connections. Now he has a super cute girlfriend named Sumire who finally can appreciate HOW HOT ARATA IS and be the little spoon he has always wanted. The end! <3

I know most people hate the idea of “pair the spares” but Arata and Sumire have the most compatible zodiac signs so it’s not MY fault it’s written in the stars??? But honestly they aren’t “paired” together in the end, just that hey life moves on and Suetsugu is saying there are plenty other opportunities for love (except Suetsugu did confirm to me personally that Arata and Sumire got married so sorry bye).

Unfortunately there is more to say about Arata’s rejection though (which I am breaking up into smaller points).

2.1 - THE TONE OF ARATA’S “REJECTION”

I think one of the biggest problems with Arata’s “rejection” (or simply the confirmation that he didn’t get another shot when he moved to Tokyo) is the tone. I don’t think Suetsugu intentionally meant to make it funny (I can’t say for sure)… However, the abruptness of it IS SO COMEDIC FUNNIEST PART OF THE CHAPTER FR.

Like when I first heard that Arata was rejected by Chihaya and Taichi telling him they were dating, I actually thought this can’t be serious and someone was making a joke. BUT IT WAS REAL. It goes from a beautifully deep line from Chihaya’s confession to Arata saying “WAIT A SECOND YOU TWO ARE DATING??” THE WHIPLASH SDKJNDKJ

Like I’m sorry IT IS SO FUNNYYYYYY the million periods on that one page was for me because I was in disbelief.

I think the problem here is due to the absolute ROCKET SPEED pace of the final chapter. For whatever reason, everything needed to happen in the final chapter with little breathing room. I don’t know if I agree with that writing choice… I think the story could have benefitted from stretching this stuff out over 2-3 chapters.

In my perfect world, there would maybe be a bit of set up and wouldn’t go from profoundly beautiful line that had me wiping my tears to comedy? Maybe have Chihaya and Taichi planning to tell Arata to show that they care about him? (Even though their expressions say that they feel very guilty and awkward about it). So then it feels less like a joke and more like two friends awkwardly trying to explain to their friend that they are dating and break his heart gently.

To be honest who even knows if Taichi and Chihaya walked up with the intention of telling him they were dating (again what is he a parent they need permission from?) Maybe Arata saw something and inquired? Maybe they were caught off guard and were going to tell him after the tournament or something. Again, it’s not clear LMAO. What was important were these two facts: that the story ended with Arata knowing he wouldn’t have a chance with Chihaya and that Chihaya and Taichi did in fact start dating.

So for those who thought Arata’s feelings of love were very serious and profound and deserve to be treated with respect I can understand hell I can even respect why the comedic tone of his “rejection” would upset you. Even I was slightly /expecting/ a private conversation… not whatever this was.

However, again I think people projected that Arata’s feelings for Chihaya were a lot deeper then what they actually were. Perhaps this abrupt reaction is meant to say that his feelings were not as deep as people thought and he is a person who is able to brush it off and be happy for his friends? I guess he has more emotional maturity in that way… But he still has to make his stinky little joke. He’s 18 years old and I forgive him.

It’s his growth!! He looks like he’s about to throw hands with Taichi but instead he sticks with his incel joke!

I do get also why people were led to believe there would be some epic conclusion or at least thoughtful rejection because Arata still confessed to Suou that he was playing alongside the girl he liked. So it’s the result of the love triangle being kept so strictly ambiguous to the bitter end (after 246 you should have known but ok) that really did make some people look like clowns at the end. I admit, it could have easily been me, in your shoes. But I acknowledged my clowndom at every turn, so if it all backfired on me I could have left with a morsel of my pride.

So essentially yeah I think the tone being comedic was /probably/ the wrong choice. (Again what happened wasn’t comedic it was the abruptness which was comedic). However the tone was fine for me though. I liked having a little laugh after all of the trauma this manga put me through. Arata king you’re the funniest little guy fr.

2.2- ARATA’S STINKY JOKE

I don’t hate that Arata made a lighthearted joke and teased Taichi one last time after getting rejected (like the demon of Karuta he is). What I hated is the content of the joke. It felt very “wink wink nudge nudge” to the reader- like haha Taichi and Chihaya are long distance now and their proximity was THE ONLY REASON THEY FELL IN LOVE! (It never was).

You see I am of the belief that Arata blamed things outside of his control (living in Fukui) rather than focusing on the things he could control. Like responding to fking emails or text messages OR GIVING CHIHAYA YOUR NUMBER AND NOT TAICHI, BITCH BOY?? (I’m fine).

Like he is like “I am so lonely because I am not next to my friends” instead of trying to make friends with the people who lived around him too? Like ARATA I really feel for you, because you just like me fr.

So yeah, Arata’s joke did not land for me. It could go, and I would be happier. Also it makes Arata look like he didn’t have his moment of growing up even though his he was managing his negative emotions very well while his heart was being stomped on (those who know, know).

Let me reiterate, I don’t hate the fact that he made a joke, just that particular joke I dislike. My joke of choice: “haha you guys only announced it now because you want the Meijin to fumble in the tournament, nice try I’ll smoke your asses”

2.3 WHAT ABOUT CHIHAYA’S GROWTH?

This is the only argument I can /somewhat/ get behind. That if Chihaya had been able to reject Arata in a more formal manner then it would show how much she has grown. Yes, because one of Chihaya’s central themes is that she doesn’t know how to express herself at least in words and has a difficulty forming connections with people.

That’s why she clings to Karuta because it makes it easier for her to connect. However, I’m not too too mad that Chihaya still continues to have difficulty expressing herself. She told Taichi she loved him with a simple “I love you” and she rejects Arata with “I am dating Taichi”. Though simple, in both cases they clearly express Chihaya’s feelings.

That brings us to the whole thing of people being like “BUT SHE WROTE ARATA POEMS!!!” Like it’s some kind of GOTCHA that Chihaya always loved Arata and the author “forgot” INSTEAD OF IT BEING PURPOSEFUL? The point was her poetry was VERY BAD and that she still even there couldn’t express how she was feeling very well. SHE COULDN’T WRITE A POEM.

So while Chihaya has grown it is not so on the nose that by the time she leaves high school she is a perfectly articulated person with an elegance to with her words… Sometimes that is a struggle you work on for your entire life. The point is she has grown from the start, instead of forgetting Arata’s confession for like what was it 6 months? She makes sure to tell him the minute she sees him in person. Eyyyoo. Also she continued to reflect on her feelings and thought about love not just being the person you want to play in Karuta but something more profound.

I also think the bond that Chihaya and Arata shared was about as clear as the bond Taichi and Chihaya shared. Chihaya never explicitly discussed how important Taichi was to her to him EVEN IN HER CONFESSION… so why should she have to tell Arata that he’s important???

Then there was this idea that Chihaya needed to “earn” back Arata’s friendship after rejecting him (by telling him of his importance). DO YOU PEOPLE EVEN HEAR YOURSELF?? You said Taichi shouldn’t have quit the club, he should have suffered through it and not received a single thing from Chihaya but yeah Chihaya needed to EARN Arata’s friendship. BE SERIOUS LISTEN TO THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND THEN REFLECT ON YOUR OWN SHORTCOMINGS!! I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU NO MORE.

Like there is just so many double standards for the way people wanted Arata to be treated vs. how they were cool with the way that evil villain Taichi was treated.

TL;DR

Arata did not need a private conversation with Chihaya where she reassured him of his worth as her friend or their platonic love. It parallels the simple way Chihaya communicated her feelings with Taichi. Arata did however need to be given time to “grow up” but it did actually happen in the bonus chapter. We see how the three of them have mended their friendship despite going down different paths- they are united though Karuta. I do think there is some merit to the idea that Arata’s rejection would benefit from a few more pages of set up so the tone wouldn’t be so comedic.

Overall there are some flaws in how Arata’s rejection was executed but nothing that breaks the story. Unless you were very invested in the seriousness of Arata’s feelings of love. You guys said you can’t find your soulmate at 18 you know that applies for Chiharata too right??

I’m crying because I’ve only really broken down two points of criticism and yet I’ve been talking shit for so long. SO unfortunately there will be a part 2 to this discussion that I will write /someday/ because I have only just scratched the surface. Just it probably won’t happen very soon because I AM TIRED GRANDPA.

But if you do want to see it like you’re gonna have to respond to this wall of text otherwise I won’t do it this took me so fking long LMAO.

SPECIAL THANKS TO @/AIMEEEFACE ON TWITTER FOR BOUNCING IDEAS AND I MAY HAVE INCORPORATED SOME OF HER THOUGHTS HERE ON MANY OCCASIONS

Thanks Charles Outty

#chihayafuru #Chihayafuru manga #chihayafuru spoilers #chihaya ayase #taichihaya #chihayafuru thoughts #taichi mashima #Chihayafuru ending #Chihayafuru ch 247 #manga #arata wataya

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heloisedaphnebrightmore · 3 years

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Possibilities [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Title: Possibilities Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Female!Reader Word count: 3k Published: 6 July 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Warnings: Mention of food and alcohol Summary: Tom and you have been friends for a long time and because of that same reason you value your friendship more than to ruin it with some silly feelings. But the event you attend together offers you some surprises that might change your relationship forever.

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Events, galas, award ceremonies. You weren't a popular actress nor a famous singer, or social media influencer. You had a simple 9-5 job that would hardly ever get you into these events. But regardless of your status in society, you were known and not because of any talent you possessed that could have made you famous, but because your best friend was none-other than Tom Hiddleston.

You have been friends for years, you adored everything about the man. He was sweet and kind, always polite, but just as playful. It was a friendship you felt lucky to be in, a friendship that you held so close to your heart, it would have broken every little piece of you if it ever ended. Often, you found yourself staring at him with a little smile in the corner of your lips, watching his every move, the way he joked around with his co-stars on set, the way he exercised in the gym for a role, the way he winked at you with a mischievous smile as he caught your eyes on him.

"Do you need my autograph?" he asked with a wide grin as he opened the door of the luxurious car he booked for the event. Once again you have forgotten your eyes on him— his dashing looks, the perfectly fitted suit, the playful twinkle in his eyes. He never stopped teasing you about it.

"Shove off, Tom," you nudged him as he got out of the car and held out a hand for you, waiting for you to accept his help. So, you did. Wrapping your fingers around his hand, you let him help you out of the vehicle as you rearranged your stunning dress and ran your hand down its length to remove any creasing. Cameras were flashing, reporters' loud voices filled the pathway to the entrance, a long red carpet leading your way inside the building towering over you like a modern castle.

"If I didn't know better, I would think your interest in me goes beyond friendship," he chuckled as he held his arm out to you, waiting for yours to be placed over his, his eyes following every little movement of yours. A sudden rush of heat travelled up to your cheeks, your breathing slightly laboured as you tried to calm your heavily beating heart. He was not wrong after all. It's been years since you have been harbouring these feelings, but you hadn't had the heart to confess them. Tom was more important to you than to ruin it over some silly feelings.

Sometimes, when you caught Tom's eyes on you, watching you intently, a soft smile spread across his face, it made you think if maybe, just maybe he was harbouring similar feelings towards you. But the idea was quickly swept away by your doubts, the thought of such an amazing man falling for you seeming impossible. You knew your worth, you didn't write yourself down, but Tom has always been perfect in your eyes, and you couldn't imagine him wanting you even if at times a certain silly part of your brain whispered otherwise.

"I love your healthy self-confidence," you finally gathered your ability to be able to reply, earning a comical huff from him. You have been trying hard, to deny your romantic interest in him, but rumours about the two of you have become a reoccurring news and it didn't help your case to shove your feelings in the back of your mind.

"Ready?" He asked as his gaze turned towards the red carpet. Heaving a heavy sigh, you nodded and murmured a 'yes' as a response.

As soon as the cameras started flashing, hundreds of photos of Tom and you being taken, you conjured a sweet little smile that the tabloids loved. You were always nervous when it came to these events. It was Tom's job to answer some of the questions journalists asked of him, which meant they were to ask about your relationship. It was becoming repetitive, making you feel uncomfortable. The questions themselves didn't bother you but repeating over and over again that the man you have fallen for is merely a friend, felt like a stab in your heart, each time you responded.

"Tom! Tom!" One of the reporters shouted his name and he led you to the side of the red carpet, halting right beside the metal cordons. Questions were flying around, photos had been taken, but you didn't concentrate. Your senses were heightened as Tom pulled you in his side, his arm now wrapped around your waist, gently, but firmly holding onto you. Looking up at him, you studied his face, his ice-blue eyes focusing on the reporter, an excited smile across his face. He seemed so relaxed, so collected, meanwhile even events after events you were still nervous. As though he could feel it, he turned to you with a soft, reassuring smile, giving you a nod, silently asking if you were alright. For others, the movement could have easily been missed, but to you, it was like an earthquake, shaking your heart, making you fall even deeper for him. In a reply, you nodded and offered him a smile as you squeezed his hand that rested on your waist.

"So, Tom, this might be a bit more personal, but everyone has been talking about the two of you," he started, and your eyes immediately darted towards the man. You knew the question, heard it a thousand times already, so you prepared your heart to give the same reply as always. 'We are just friends,' you repeated time after time, hoping they would finally understand and let you be, but they didn't seem to budge. "You have been friends for a long time, and your fans have been talking about how close the two of you have become. Do you think, maybe in the future, there's a possibility for romance to blossom?" He asked with an expectant expression, a sly smile in the corner of his lips.

"As we have said before," you spoke up, ready to reply as you always did, "we—"

"You never know what the future holds for you, there are many possibilities" Tom cut in with a mischievous smile, your eyes growing wide as you looked up at him. Tom chuckled at your expression as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. "Tell me I'm wrong," he arched a brow questioningly, his words starting your heart off at a faster pace, your cheeks feeling warmer under his intent gaze, those blue eyes you often found yourself lost in.

"Well—, I mean I can't argue with that statement," you replied, feeling slightly awkward. A confused smile started growing wider on your face as Tom led you away. "Why did you do that?" You asked as you finally stepped inside the building, his arm still resting around your waist as you headed towards a large room filled with all sorts of foods and drinks, people dancing in the middle, the dim lightning offering a rather intimate mood. "You just created even more gossip," you scolded him, but seemingly he didn't mind. He led you to a table where his name was printed on a nametag and pulled the chair out for you before he took his seat beside you.

"I didn't say anything," he smiled at you as innocently as he could manage, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

"You did. Exactly because you were so secretive, people will want to read between the lines. They will think there's more to us than friendship," you huffed as you hid your face in your palm and heaved a heavy sigh.

"And is that so bad?" He frowned, earning the same expression from you.

"What?" A silent scoff left your lungs. "What are you trying to say?"

"Is that such a big problem if people think we are together?" He asked, his confident tone stunning you.

"Of course, not. I don't care what rumours are being spread about me, but I don't want them to gossip about you," you reached for his hand on the table and wrapped your fingers around it, giving it a gentle squeeze. His expression stayed emotionless; you couldn't read him entirely, but you knew he seemed off.

"I will go grab us a drink," he said as he stood up, leaving you frowning. You weren't sure what you said that made him upset, and regardless of trying to put on a straight face, you knew he wasn't happy with your response.

You watched as he walked over to a small table filled with the most delicious looking cakes and a couple of bottles of champagne, ready for the guests before they brought out the main course. Tom grabbed a battle of champagne and two glasses, filling up both halfway, before he placed the battle back into an ice bucket.

"What is it?" You asked as he returned and gave you one of the glasses.

"What do you mean?" He asked, taking a seat beside you.

"We've known each other for quite a long time. I can read you like an open book. What's bothering you?" Trying to get him to open up, you shuffled closer to him, your chair scraping the floor, turning heads in your direction. "Oops," you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly, earning a chuckle from Tom.

"Very subtle," he mocked you.

"Don't change the subject Mr. Hiddleston," you raised a questioning brow, a tiny smile hidden in the corner of your lips.

"Nothing is bothering me," he added, but your suspicious gaze didn't falter. "I'm being honest, darling," the sly little fox knew his nickname for you would make you soften up and he used every opportunity to say it when he felt cornered.

"Fine," you squinted. "But we aren't done! I'm not blind, I can see something is on your mind."

"Yes, ma'am, I can't wait for this conversation to come back around," he mocked you once again, making you huff as you gently punched his shoulder.

Throughout the night, said conversation was forgotten, the alcohol consumption rose, the amount of people dancing around the room grew, meanwhile others sat at their tables, trying to digest the previously served delicious meals. You couldn't deny that you had a good laugh with Tom and his co-stars from all sorts of movies he had been in. It felt like a little family, people coming together to just have a joyous time.

The way Tom smiled at his friends, praising each other, before turning to mock one another forced your eyes to rest on his excited features. He looked so alive, so happy and the feeling of the man you loved being in his element meant everything to you. Tom was radiating enthusiasm and you couldn't look away as you watched his ever-growing smile, his nose scrunched up at an unexpected subject, his head falling back as a loud laughter erupted from his lungs. He was always handsome, but when he was happy, it filled you up with a certain warmth that you couldn't explain. Like you always wanted to make him happy just to be able to see that cheerful smile spread across his face.

He turned to you, catching your gaze on him once again. His arm sneaked behind you, pulling you closer and leaning down to your ear. "You are staring at me again," you couldn't see it, but you could feel his smile spreading wider.

"I like to see you happy," you shrugged with a soft smile as you leaned back to be able to meet his gaze. His smile faltered, but his eyes softened.

"Dance with me," he said as he offered his palm to you, and you placed your hand in it.

"I take no responsibility for broken toes," you said with a silent chuckle as you followed him to the dancefloor.

"Don't worry, darling, it's worth the injury," he mirrored your expression as you stopped in the middle of the dance floor. A slow, romantic song started playing in the background, his arms finding their perfect position around your waist as yours sneaked around his neck.

It was a slow and peaceful dance, not requiring much knowledge and talent. You just enjoyed each other's presence, gazes meeting, smiles forming, swaying to the slow rhythm of the music. You didn't speak a word, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It never was with Tom. A soft smile, a quick glance, a simple gesture meant more than thousands of words when you were with him.

You laid your head against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat, taking on a quicker pace just like yours did. "I miss you when you are not with me," he spoke for the first time as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. You didn't move away; his embrace was too comfortable, and you couldn't care about people watching you.

"I always miss you. You are the one travelling all the time after all," you chuckled lightly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"I could be only a mile away and I would still miss you," he replied as you pulled back a bit to meet his soft gaze, but there was no smile present across his handsome face. As the song finished, you found yourself standing in front of him, slightly confused about the conversation. "Do you want to go to the balcony? Have some fresh air?" He asked, taking on a more cheerful expression, but you knew him more than to believe it was genuine. In a response you nodded and linked your arm with his.

Following him through the sea of people, you finally arrived at the balcony, looking down to a smaller version of a park, a water fountain standing tall in its centre. You leaned against the rail as you watched the trees battling the silent wind, fallen leaves being blown across the walking path. Tom joined beside you, his eyes following the same direction as you did before they halted on your face. "You are being strange tonight," you spoke up, feeling his gaze resting on you before you turned to him, meeting his eyes.

"I'm just thinking," he added with a half-hearted smile.

"About?" You asked as you reached for his hand resting on the rail and placed yours on top of his. He turned his palm upside down and lifted your hand, hinting a small kiss on your knuckles as he heaved a heavy sigh. "Tom talk to me," you squeezed his fingers reassuringly, his eyes watching you, not leaving your gaze for a moment. "You have been rather quiet around me," you added.

His whole body turned to you, as though he was focusing his complete attention on you. Reaching towards you, he brushed your hair to the side, gently tucking it behind your ear. You leaned into the touch involuntarily, only realising your actions when he caressed your cheek with his thumb, before moving down and running it across your lips. The feeling burnt you, starting your mind off in a very dangerous territory, one that you have been avoiding. 'He is your friend' you tried to remind yourself. But once the tip of his thumb brushed along your lips once again, you couldn't stop yourself. Stepping forward, you placed your hands on his chest, steading yourself and rose on your tiptoes, pressing your lips against his.

Your own bravery surprised you, but Tom didn't seem affected. As soon as your lips met, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. He didn't hesitate, he wasn't surprised. He just held you, gently running his lips along yours, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. But as much as you wanted to enjoy the moment, realisation hit you. You were kissing your best friend. You gently pushed him away, stumbling back from the force, covering your mouth with your palm. "I'm so sorry," you breathed, panic rising in your chest. "I have no idea what happened, I don't know why I did that, I'm so sorry," your words were rushed, your heartbeat loudly pulsing in your ears.

But Tom's gaze twinkled. A soft, warm smile grew wider across his face as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you. "I'm not," he said as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I've been wanting to kiss you," he breathed as he closed his eyes momentarily, slightly shaking his head. "I've been wanting to tell you how much I love you; I've been trying to gain the courage to say it out loud," he scoffed. "I'm a fool for dragging it out for so long, but I love you," his voice shook as he said the words, but his arms tightened around you, safely holding you against his chest. It took you a second to understand what he meant, that your feelings weren't unrequited, that he has been harbouring the same feelings you have.

A heavy sigh left your lungs, as though a weight fell off your chest. Your lips curved into a smile as you placed your hands on his cheeks, running the tip of your thumbs across his jawline. He mirrored your expression whilst leaning into your touch, planting a small kiss on your palm. "I love you too," you replied finally," the words rolling off the tip of your tongue easier than you expected. "I love you so much," you giggled, wanting to repeat the words over and over again, until you finally understood that it was real, that you weren't dreaming. "You never know what the future holds for you, huh?" You asked, repeating his words from earlier in the evening, earning a loud chuckle from him. "So, is this one of those many possibilities?" you raised a single brow.

"Could be. I have a couple more ideas," he said, his soft smile turning into a confident grin.

"You are terrible," you gently hit his chest as you grabbed his suit-jacket and pulled him down to you, meeting his lips halfway, smiling into the intimate moment you have been craving for so long.

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phoenixyfriend · 3 years

Note

Re; Ahsoka and Quinlan being the same age, now I'm picturing Ahsoka, Quinlan, and Rex eventually ending up in a weird sorta thruple where Quinlan comes in and out of the relationship but the door is kinda always open for him? And Rex spends a lot of mornings eyeing the tangle of orange and brown skin on the other side of the bed like he has no idea how he ended up here but he's (mostly) okay with that tbh

Context: Commander Buir in chronological order

YES okay so this is wild to me that people are invested in this but like half the time-travel fics with Ahsoka in the same age-group as Quinlan have me wondering if I should ship them. Let me just. Ho shit.

So, okay, I've explored a lot of possible dynamics but there's something really engaging about how Quinlan, trained as a Shadow before the Sith came back, could react to a War Padawan. Ahsoka isn't really infiltration material yet, she's very much a frontline fighter, but she's got a lot more experience with a kind of consistent dark atmosphere that most Jedi don't. They get exposed to plenty of dark stuff, sure, but not the kind of all-encompassing "this is my life for the last two years" thing that is usually reserved for the long-term field agents like Shadows and Watchmen.

The War Padawans, for all that they were supposed to be just normal Jedi Padawans, were living in the kind of consistently negative environment that's normally experienced by those Knighted Sentinels.

So Ahsoka, while still generally pretty young in these AUs, is a very odd kind of person to be around, because she's spunky and vivacious and snippy and affectionate and snarky and knows how to break every bone in your body from harrowing experience as the only thing standing between death and thousands of brothers.

And Quinlan, I imagine, really likes that about her. She gets it, and she's still an energetic and loving and trying to do her best to be a good person despite everything. He gravitates towards her and she... well, she's not blind. She can tell he's interested. And she's not upset about that.

ANYWAY, ONTO REX

So, Rex is... technically twelve. He hasn't exactly got a whole lot of experience with romance. He is also, up until the point of time-travel, legal property of the Senate and the Jedi Order, which means that Ahsoka, or at least her community, owns him. He was indoctrinated to serve her and that community. She also outranks him, for all that she usually lets him take the lead in the field due to experience. He's older than her physically and maturity-wise, but she's also had a grow-up-faster-than-you-should adolescence, and she has superpowers.

What I'm saying is, the power dynamic is fucked up.

(Unironically I spent hours last night realizing that it balances out a lot more than C*dywan does, which I'm censoring because by god do I not want discourse on this post. I like both ships, and don't want to argue about what's the most problematic. It's Star Wars. The only unproblematic ships are Bail/Breha and Owen/Beru.)

Here's the thing, though, because the main thing people seem to argue here is the age/maturity difference as a problem area:

The age difference in actual time is four years, which is smaller than the two main ships of the franchise (Han/Leia and Padme/Anakin, to be clear). The age difference in maturity is ??? We'll say that the clones started aging normally after they hit twenty, so the age difference in maturity is six years... which is still normal for SW ships.

(This is why I don't have any issues with the ship in a post-O66 context, once they've had a few years to move past the traumas and whatnot. The age stuff all evens out with time, they're a good team, and neither was grooming the other. It's not objectively any more problematic than most SW ships at that point, and I'm okay with that. They deserve to be happy if they want.)

But they get yanked away from all that structure of who owns what, who reports where, who has which rank, who's legally a person in the eyes of the Republic when they end up on Dagobah. Once they've registered when they are, the only remaining complications are:

He grew up in a cultlike environment and was indoctrinated to serve her (but has been replacing that indoctrination with genuine respect and affection for her as a person because they've worked together for two years).

She has superpowers (contextually not a big problem: we see several Force-Sensitive/Non-Sensitive ships that don't consider those powers a complicating element)

He's several years younger than her (canonically less of an issue than it could be: Cut got married and has kids) and has next to no experience with what a normal romance looks like except for hanging out on the edges of whatever the fuck his General has going on with the Senator

She's several years less mature than he is (...something of an issue)

So a lot of this is mostly okay. She feels weird about the fact that she's got more knowledge of romance and all that it entails. He feels weird about the fact that, despite her being older, he looks at her and sees someone that's still a little young, not quite a shiny. Except she is older than him, and he's seen her behead four people in a single move, and they've saved each other's lives more times than either of them can count anymore. He respects her, and the fact that she's babyfaced doesn't change the fact that, in terms of who they are as people and warriors, they're on a level playing field.

She still looks at him and mourns his lost childhood, and he still looks at her and takes a moment to see past the too-big eyes and adolescent proportions.

But they really, really care about each other, and maybe part of them is starting to recognize that there's a bit of a crush before they time-travel, but neither one wants to make a move. There's a lot of baggage on both sides, a lot of "but they're a child" and "but they're (literally vs functionally) below me in the chain of command, I can't take advantage of that" and all that fun stuff. It's the kind of situation where two people circle each other for ages without making a move, because actually making that move is terrifying on account of not knowing whether the other party knows they can say no, on top of the usual "what if it ruins our friendship?" thing.

What happens on Dagobah, though... is very tropey. They're sort of stranded until Ahsoka can fix the ship, and that takes time. The area is also very heavy with the Force, dense and heady with the energy it carries, and it's... actually really not great for Ahsoka. She keeps feeling like she's back on Mortis, and has nightmares from the trigger there, but also keeps hallucinating because she wasn't ready for the thickness of the energy (like Yoda) or still new enough to the Force that she couldn't feel how dense it all was (like Luke). She can't work on the engines as constantly as she'd like to get them out of there, and while Rex is a competent mechanic, he's not as skilled with it as the girl who jumped headfirst into lessons with Anakin.

Rex spends a lot of time holding Ahsoka and wiping her brow with a wet cloth while she's feverish and out of it. Yes we're going full Florence Nightingale romance here, let me have my fun.

They get the communications relay working earlier than the engine, find out the year is wrong, panic a bit. All is well. (It's not, but they're holding it together for now.)

Ahsoka keeps working on the engine when she's lucid. Rex keeps hunting up game and edible plants for them while she does. They cuddle at night, because it's not cold but it is empty of the people they care about, and they kind of want that reassurance of someone they trust and love at their back.

(Morai visits.)

(Daughter shows up in the nightmares, tells Ahsoka that age will not come for her beloved until the time is natural for it. The phrasing is dumb but she does manage to convey that the accelerated aging is no longer an issue, if it even was after they hit adulthood. Ahsoka is relieved.)

And, you know, emotions happen. She takes his hand while they're leaning up against each other. He kisses her forehead while she's having a bad spell. They cook together and tell jokes to keep sane and spar. They hug each other through nightmares and panic attacks. There is much blushing. There is much cuddling.

Once, they kiss.

They break apart, flushing and stammering and being very awkward about the whole thing, and make excuses to leave and panic about the fact that they!! Kissed!!!!!

A couple hours later they find each other again, and have a long and complicated discussion about why they like each other (war makes bedfellows, there's trust and affection and all that fun stuff) and why they're hesitant (age stuff, maturity stuff, prior indoctrination), and make the decision to take it slow. They cuddle, and kiss, and blush a lot because both of them are basically just dumb teens having their first real relationship.

They eventually leave the planet, make it to Coruscant, etc. It takes a bit for anyone except Obi-Wan to realize that something's changed between them. Most people didn't know them before, and Anakin's observation skills are currently at a very low ebb. But they sit together and hold hands, and flirt when they spar, and once or twice people find them kissing (both standard and Keldabe) in a corner while holding hands and then just smiling at each other like loons.

They end up rooming together because nobody has the heart to separate them after hearing about all the war stuff. Like yes attachment's bad, but these two do seem to understand loss of loved ones and recognize that they could lose each other at any time and death is natural and they won't lose their entire shit about it, and if even General Kenobi is anxious as hell about being separated from the people he fought side-by-side with for two years, then maybe it's just... really normal for those two to want each other's company, and everyone can just turn a blind eye to the romance happening.

They share a bed, but they only ever sleep in it. Like, there's some goodnight kisses and cuddles, but everything is very G-rated until they've had time to settle into being true equals instead of just the "well, I guess the power dynamics balance out? Maybe?" of before.

And just... yeah. Rex does not believe that he's in this good of a position whenever he has the time to think about it. He's got a girlfriend! A really pretty, smart, strong, skilled one! Who thinks he's a cool dude! How the fuck did a clone like him manage that? He wasn't even legally a person a year ago, how did he end up in bed with one of the most amazing people he's ever met? He spends multiple nights just staring at her while he tries to fall asleep, asking himself how he got here and just like... marveling at her. She's worth marveling at. He's in love and she's amazing and he has no idea how to handle it at all.

...yeah no I have a lot of feelings now.

#Rexsoka #Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Quinlan Vos #time travel #Commander Buir #Phoenix Posts

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yoontaethings · 3 years

Text

normal kind of love — jjk (1)

pairing: jungkook x reader

rating: explicit

word count: 2.5k

warnings: a lot of cussing and some teasing if you squint, but other than that none really (the warnings will come next chapter lmao)

you’re one half of hollywood’s on-screen it couple. the greatest chemistry known on-screen with the one and only, jeon jungkook, the bane of your existence.

a/n: this was supposed to be a longer chapter but i decided to split it in half to tease potential readers mwahaha btw this chapter is very very unedited, though i did postpone the upload because i had to remove some parts because i just thought the story didn’t need those bits anymore lol but the rest of this story i haven’t even read through yet, i just wrote and wrote and wrote so please excuse any errors (my tenses might also not be consistent but i’ll edit this soon)

taglist: @min-nicoleee @thisartemisnevermisses @ggukkieland @kokoandkookie @somelazysundays

There was no way.

There was no way in hell they were pairing you up with him. Again.

You were confirmed to be cast as the female lead in the movie before any other characters were casted. They should have chosen a different male lead for this romance film. Heck, even Kim Taehyung, a friend of yours, received an offer for the role and you were certain he planned to take it. Unfortunately for you, even if Taehyung wanted the role, he couldn’t accept it because of scheduling conflict with another film he’s already working on.

Jeon Jungkook, an actor you starred alongside in “Dangerous Illusion”, was just confirmed as the male lead of your upcoming movie “Chosen for Pleasure”. The same man who seemed to make it his life goal to ruin you. After Jungkook was confirmed to play the male lead in your upcoming movie, fans on Twitter have been blowing up about it and made you two a trending topic worldwide. Elated fans mentioned you in their tweets expressing how happy they were to see you two again together. You wish you could say you felt the same.

The previous movie you worked on was a thriller/mystery. You played the part of Jungkook's wife in the film. The film was a blockbuster hit, as a result of the well-thought storyline, yet additionally because of its leads. Fans adored the chemistry between you and Jungkook, regardless of not having a lot of romantic scenes in the film. There were a lot of fans who wanted to see you two on-screen once more, this time, in a romance focused film. Looks like their wishes were coming true.

To add insult to injury, your impending film was going to be an adult romance. It required some steamy scenes that normally didn't trouble you because you were a true professional, yet absolutely irritates you now since you need to do them with Jeon Jungkook.

The script reading was to be done today and your eyes opened an hour later than the time you set for your alarm because of the fucking snooze button. Seriously, why were snooze buttons even invented? They just allowed people to sleep through their alarms continuously.

Hand reaching for the phone on your nightstand, you knocked over a booklet that was over it. It was the script you spent hours reading to grab a sense of the character you were going to portray. Obviously, you already knew the basics about the part you were going to play, but knowing the entire story helped in portraying your character.

Your eyes squinted at the bright light of your phone that had the numbers 8:33 glaring at you, unlocking it to see a couple of texts and missed calls from your manager.

‘Are you awake yet?’

‘Please don’t tell me you forgot about the script reading today’

‘Ok I know you’re still asleep but just make sure you get ready on time, being late won’t do you and your image any favors’

‘I’ll pick you up at 9’

You rolled your eyes at his messages. You loved Hoseok and he was the best manager you could have been given from your agency, but he nagged too much. He was also your friend and his endless nags made you want to rip your eyeballs out sometimes because even when you’re supposed to unwind with him, he never forgets to remind you of your job.

‘I’m the fucking lead, Hobi, they’ll wait for me’

You slapped your phone back onto the nightstand and started going about with your morning routine. You didn’t have a lot of time, and even though you knew they would definitely wait for you, you hated being that bitch who made people wait so you took a quick shower and slapped on some sunscreen, powder, and finishing off with your go-to lipstick. You didn’t bother with makeup and dressing up. This was just going to be a script reading and sure, there were going to be photos taken but the thousands of dollars you’ve spent on facials and treatments already made sure your face was at least flawless despite the lack of effort.

Bringing only your phone, wallet and script, you exited your building and as usual, a shiny black van already awaited outside. Hoseok was leaning on it, scrolling through his phone when he sensed your presence and looked up.

“Oh, thank god you’re on time.” He exhaled in relief, pocketing his phone.

“I value sleep but you’re well aware I also value my career.”

Hoseok grinned. “Now there’s the y/n I know.” He then slid the van door open and you entered without another word.

The drive was pretty much uneventful, with you scrolling through your social media, seeing what fans have been tweeting about recently and with Hoseok humming along to the random pop music playing.

You longed for a distraction, something much more interesting than working your thumb throughout the drive because of the chasm that you were about to jump into when you arrived on set. You weren’t stupid enough to forget about the man who got the role of your romantic interest in the film. But you were wise enough to not let it haunt you for the past weeks. Now though, you can’t really avoid it anymore since you were supposed to be seeing him in person again after almost 2 years. You didn’t exactly leave on the best terms with Jungkook but who knows, maybe you’ll be able to act civil around each other.

At least you were sure you were going to act civil around him, already decided on taking the higher path. You’re not so sure about him, but fingers crossed he’ll at least be an adult about the situation and pretend he can stand being in the same room as you.

Soon enough, you were entering the room the script reading was to be held in. Bowing and greeting the actors and staff seated around the table as you passed by to get to the last vacant seat. You caught Jungkook’s eyes following your movements as you sat down. Luckily, he was seated across from you and it was easier to ignore his presence with the staff members greeting and coddling you.

As always, script reading began with actors introducing themselves and the role they’re going to play. As the female lead, you started off.

“Hello everyone. I’m y/n y/l/n and I’m going to take on the role of Yuri.” Hands clapped around you as you sat back down.

“Hello, I’m Jeon Jungkook and I’ll be playing Ryan.”

You didn’t bother clapping unlike the rest and avoided the eyes of the voice’s origin.

The script reading continued without a hitch– for the most part. The other cast members were very friendly, and laughter was exchanged during the read. The same couldn’t be said for you and Jungkook though.

When lines between your characters were exchanged, there was a weird tension in the room. It felt like everyone else were holding their breaths and waiting for either of you two explode and announce that you can’t do this film anymore. As dramatic as that would be, none of that happened. Instead, cheesy romantic lines sounded flat and bored from both you and Jungkook. The director made a tsk-ing sound whenever that happened.

“It’s always been you.” You read. The script said that Yuri and Ryan stared in adoration towards each other before Ryan uttered his next words.

“Marry me?” Jungkook asked.

You nodded your head as a wrap for the script reading. According to the script, there was supposed to be a kissing scene at the end, so you make ridiculous smooching noises. The cast burst into giggles before the director stood from his seat.

“…and that’s a wrap!” He clasped his hands together. “Hopefully when we start shooting things only look up from there.” He flitted his eyes between you and Jungkook.

Honestly, you wish that too but from yours and Jungkook’s history, you don’t really think that’s possible.

You were both professionals though and you’re sure you could at least count on him to make the on-screen romance feel real.

“I’m sorry.” Hoseok said with pity in his eyes.

“Wha- but… why?” You asked, confused with what was happening.

Your part in the new film ‘The Notebook: Remake’ has apparently been withdrawn. As one of the rising stars in Hollywood, this was a really great opportunity for you. It’s one of the most anticipated films and accepting the offer of being the female lead in the movie was a no-brainer. Anyone who refuses that role is just stupid.

But now they were apparently taking it back.

Hoseok sighed. “There were too many scandals surrounding you recently. It doesn’t matter if they’re true or not, but you’ve been seen in hotels that Jeon Jungkook has been in too, and in everyone’s eyes you’re now secretly seeing him.”

“But we’ve never even been seen together in any of those photos. Don’t people know the word fucking coincidence?” Your brows furrowed, fists clenching at your sides. “And what does this have to do with my role in the film?”

“It seems they wanted someone with a ‘cleaner image’ and someone who’ll get the film to be a hit. Apparently, the romance won't be convincing if the female lead is dating someone in real life.”

You stared at Hoseok. He stared back waiting for a lash out, an angry outburst, anything really, but you remained silent, eyes unmoving. Soon enough, the dam doors burst open and the tears suddenly came streaming down your face. Hoseok exhaled and wrapped his arms around you.

“Hobi what did I do so wrong to deserve this?” you sobbed into his chest.

“Shh, it’s not your fault they’re all dumbasses. But you know the industry, y/n. We’ll find better films for you, okay?”

“Why is Jeon Jungkook such a thorn on my side? Why is he always ruining everything for me?”

“We can’t blame him, honey. He’s probably a victim in this too because of those damn rumor outlets.” Hoseok rubbed his hands along your back.

“But I’m getting the short end of the stick! The rumor is probably just feeding his bad boy persona!”

“Life’s unfair, y/n. Surely by now you’re aware of that. Just remember, karma’s going to bite them in the ass someday, okay? For now, do you want to call it a day and go home? I’ll drive you back and I’ll just report to the agency that you’re not feeling well.”

You nod your head, too listless to bother answering with words because there was only one thing on your mind right now.

Fuck Jeon Jungkook and his good looks. He just ruined the best opportunity for you. You were going to get him back for this. Like Hoseok said, karma’s going to bite him in the ass someday. And that karma was going to be you.

You were supposed to be looking forward to filming one of your dream movies with your dream director. But all you felt was dread when you arrived on set. You promised yourself that you’d stay unaffected to Jeon Jungkook, but you couldn’t help the distaste for him to be left on your face while filming.

The scene you were shooting was when your characters first met and the first takes were a total disaster. You and Jungkook barely spared each other a glance, even when your character was supposed to be enticed by him, breaking down Yuri’s cold exterior. A break was called after the 6th take because the director was so frustrated that he looked like he was about to call the casting director and replace his two leads.

You sighed, not knowing what to do with yourself after the announcement of a break. Your feet led you to your dressing room, ready to pass out on the couch but before you could, someone barged in. Your head turned towards the door, expecting it to be your manager or the director or anyone really, just not the person who currently stood at the doorway.

“Can we talk?” Jungkook asked. Your eyes were suddenly drawn to his biceps which bulged from his shirt as he crossed his arms. The damn arms looked delicious. Too bad they belonged to someone you would never ever be attracted to.

“Sure.” You shrugged your shoulders. You were sure he came here to talk to you about filming and how to work out your indifferences and shit like that and honestly, you were so tired of hating him you’re ready to just go along with whatever. Hating someone actually takes a lot of effort, you realize.

Jungkook stepped towards you until he’s close enough that you had to tilt your head upwards to look at his eyes. His eyes locked on yours for a moment before his arms uncrossed and one of his hands landed on the wall behind you. He successfully caged you in with no way out. His lips part and your eyes are drawn to the movement, feeling his exhales on your nose. You swallowed nervously.

Good lord his breath smelled so good.

“Babe, I’m sure you’re just as thrilled as I am to be working with you again as you are with me, but let’s not mess this up okay? Let’s get this over with perfectly and quickly so we don’t have to deal with each other again after. Deal?” His eyebrows raised in question and you nodded dumbly, unable to form a coherent sentence with how close he was to you.

You felt a sudden rush of heat down there and was mentally cursing the man in front of you for how much he was affecting you. He tilted his head to the side and leaned in closer to your face as if he was about to kiss you then he suddenly stopped, his mouth forming a smirk, taunting you.

That smirk was all it took for you to snap back to reality. No, you were not going to let him take the upper hand here. A burst of confidence surged through you as you leaned closer to him too and allowed your lips to brush lightly against his cheek.

“Deal.”

You pulled away, satisfied with how his lips drooped apparently not expecting that. You looked down and there it was, the tenting of his pants that brought a coy smile to your lips. Ha, take that.

You glanced back up at him, your fingers trailing over his thighs. “Aw, didn’t realize you saw me that way Jeon.” You abruptly pulled away and walked out of the room without another word, leaving him hard and defeated.

This is the beginning of his karma, you thought as you grinned to yourself.

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capesandshapes · 3 years

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All You Had to Do Was Stay (Post Reveal/Pre Relationship) (4/4)

Summary:

Three years ago, Marinette revealed her identity to him. Three years ago, he promised to wait in a hotel room for her. Three years ago, she opened the door to find it empty.

Now she's expected to play nice with him, since she's the maid of honor and he's unfortunately the best man. But old habits die hard, and old feelings die harder.

"This is a wedding, not a death march, Marinette."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She took a step towards him.

And then another.

All the words that she knew had failed her, and all of the emotion in her body had left her. What could she say? What would even make sense? There was no fixing the situation, not really, you couldn’t take away three years of waiting and wanting. You couldn’t take away three years of replaying every word in your head and wondering if you said the wrong thing.

“But you’re not him,” that was all she could say, and it hit the air like a deadweight. Because Adrien wasn’t Gabriel Agreste, because he never would be. The love Gabriel had was greedy and selfish, it took and took until it tore away all that he knew, until it ruined Paris and everything inside it. But Adrien? “It wouldn’t have mattered that he’s your dad, because you’re Adrien Agreste, not him, because I would have stood by you no matter what. I wouldn’t have cared what they thought or what they said. I wouldn’t have listened to them or let them stop me. If people wanted to close doors in my face because of who I loved, I’d make new ones. If people didn’t trust me, or see me for who I was, I wouldn’t care because I would know the truth.” Another step, another mountain climbed on her way back to him. “If they hated you because of who your father was, I wouldn’t want to be around them anyway, I wouldn’t want what they had to give me. I know that you’re good. You’re so good that everyone can see it—that they would have to admit it eventually.”

She held his gaze, her hands holding onto her shoulders like that could save her from sinking—like she wasn’t so far gone under the tide of Adrien that everything she had tried to hold back for three years wasn’t already killing her. She couldn’t stop drowning; she couldn’t stop wanting him.

“Adrien, I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen years old,” she whispered, “all of you.”

He exhaled, the low, throaty sound hitting the air.

“When you left, I…” She stopped, because he didn’t need to know, because she didn’t need to see him hurt like she had. “You broke me, and no one else has been able to put me back together since.” That was enough, that had to be enough for then.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, the words almost lost to the crashing of the waves outside.

She shook her head. Maybe she needed the apology, maybe someday she’d want it, but then, at that very moment? She was the only person who could give herself what she needed, the only person who could pull her head above water.

She tugged her hands from her shoulders, and walked closer, far too close to him. It was the lack of distance she would have dreamed of when she was in school, the kind that led to moments she cherished such as placing her head on his shoulder or reaching across his lap to hold his hand. It was the proper distance to look him in the eyes, the proper distance to say what she should have said before.

“Adrien, I would wait three more years for you, fifty if I had too—because I’m so stupidly in love with you, I’ve been so stupidly in love with you.” She inhaled, looking up at him, taking in those beautiful green eyes, “all I want to know is, are you still in love with me too?”

And maybe she would have gotten the answer she wanted. Maybe she would have finally kissed him. Maybe that would have been the start of their happily ever after—

Had Lila Rossi not stumbled into the cabin with Kim’s hand on her ass and her fingers laced in his hair.

“God, you are so fucking lucky I’m horny right now,” Kim muttered.

And just like that, all the romance left the air.

And though she wanted to ask, to drag him out on the deck and demand it, she saw that look in Adrien’s eyes and she knew.

He was terrified.

And really, who wouldn’t be? Who wouldn’t be scared? Who wouldn’t worry about what the future held?

So, she laughed. An empty, loud sound, one enough to break any tension. And, not knowing what else to do, she ran. Because maybe not knowing was better than the truth.

--------------------------------------------

"This is a wedding, not a death march, Marinette,” Alya said, frowning at the reflection of Marinette in her mirror.

Honestly, if it wasn’t Alya, Marinette might have gotten by. Anyone else would have believed her fake smile as she looked in the mirror, applying her makeup.

But Alya? Being her best friend, she was in the business of reading Marinette’s emotions. Marinette couldn’t get anything by her, she was surprised that she somehow managed to hide being Ladybug from her for so long.

“It’s your wedding, Alya, am I not allowed to be sad that I’m losing my best friend?”

“To your other best friend?” Alya asked. She could have at least hidden her skepticism.

“It’s your wedding,” Marinette repeated softly. As in, it’s your wedding, not my problem parade. It’s your day, not mine. Don’t worry about me.

“He’s just over in the next room,” Alya said, reading her mind.

“It’s been a month,” Marinette repeated, shutting down the plan before Alya could even begin to form it. “If he wanted to respond, he would have done it by now.”

“I’m just saying.” She was not just saying. She was suggesting in that Alya way that wasn’t really a suggestion, but rather a demand. “I’m sure if you vanished for just one minute, I could get Nino to pull him out in the hallway and you could get your answer.”

“Alya.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Focus on your wedding,” Marinette commanded.

Alya scoffed. “Right. And how am I supposed to enjoy said wedding knowing that my best friend is miserable waiting for a response that, if she doesn’t go and demand it, might not ever come?”

“You could look at your groom and be happy about spending the rest of your life with him?”

“Oh please, I would choose you over Nino anytime.”

She didn’t doubt that.

“Listen,” Marinette began, putting down her make up brush. “I’m going to be fine; I promise. I’m just going to get some air.”

“Sure,” Alya said with a roll of her eyes as Marinette got out of her chair and moved to the balcony door. “I’ll see you when you’re done having your fifth mental break down and finally want to talk, Marinette.”

Damn, she was good. Marinette sighed, turning the deadbolt before looking back at her friend’s knowing expression, the other bridesmaids busying themselves in the background. “Thank you,” she said, because she wasn’t about to deny it, not to Alya. And maybe, once she got it out of her system, she would talk to her. Maybe once it was all over, she would tell Alya everything.

But at that moment, all she needed was air. And so she went, pulling open the balcony door of the hotel room and letting the night air cool her skin. She let go of the handle, letting it click shut behind her as she walked further onto the balcony, the streetlights of Paris gleaming far in the distance.

It was times like this that she missed being a superhero. She wondered what Paris would look like then, sprawled out in front of her years later. Brighter, probably, the city had changed since Ladybug left.

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” A voice said, and she was sure that it had said it to her a thousand times before. The words were so familiar in that voice, said in the same inflection at the same volume that she had heard growing up. “It’s ours,” she was sure he’d only said that once or twice before—on the nights when it felt like there was no one else and the city belonged to them alone.

“It’s Paris,” she corrected, just as she had before. Because there was no owning it. It was this living, untamable thing, a treasure for her to protect.

For them to protect, because there he was, standing out on his own balcony, looking at the city like it was far more beautiful than the stars.

Not Adrien, not at that moment. Just as she wasn’t Marinette, not when thinking of Paris. Chat Noir and Ladybug, the heroes of the city, both standing out in their civilian forms, looking over it once more.

There was so much distance between them, and yet it felt like he was right there. At any moment he would leap, clad in his black leather cat suit, and stand right beside her. That was how the story should have ended; if it couldn’t end with a kiss, then it should have ended with Chat Noir and Ladybug, together again.

But Tikki and Plagg were far away in a box in Nepal.

“I came out to get some air,” he said, not turning to look at her.

“Me too.”

“Do you remember when we used to sit on your roof and watch all the cars go by?” He asked, and she could only smile. How could she forget?

Things were so easy when the masks were on.

“We have half an hour,” Marinette informed him. “Then the wedding starts and we start walking. We should go inside.”

“We should,” he agreed. Neither made to move. Neither wanted to move.

She caught him staring at her out of the corner of her eye. Never mind the fact that she was staring too. She wished then, like she had so many times before, that she knew the right thing to say.

“What if we didn’t?” He asked, like it wasn’t this crazy, completely irrational thing to do. Like there weren’t so many people in the rooms behind them waiting on them. “What if we didn’t go at all?”

“It’s not even your wedding,” she said, turning to face him entirely. “Or mine.” He grinned anyway, sauntering over to the side of his balcony nearest her, leaning on the railing. “Don’t you think that would be rude?” They had been chosen for a reason.

“What do a best man and maid of honor even do anyway?” Adrien fired back, raising his eyebrows at her. “Past all of the party planning that we’ve already done, there’s just speeches and toasts ahead of us. I don’t think either of them want us reading our speeches, I planned almost every word of mine to embarrass Nino.”

She frowned, wishing she was able to resist it, but meeting him on the side of the balcony beside herself. He was so close that she almost thought she could leap. “And what would we do?”

“Stay here forever, find a way off this roof, run—Your pick, really,” he said, as if it was that simple. As if they could leave. It was her best friend’s wedding. “I know Andre’s stand closed years ago, but maybe if we’re lucky there’s another icecream man in Paris running around at night. I bet there’s one outside of the Eiffel tower, if you wanted to revisit old times.”

“And why would we do that?” She asked. This stupid, awful part of her was considering it.

“Because Nino just told me that he wanted me to be happy and that was one of the most important things to him today, and I bet Alya just told you the same thing,” he said. “But we’re not happy.”

“And?”

He looked at her like she was stupid. Maybe she was. He’d been out there longer than her, she could tell by the pink of his cheeks, maybe some great clarity had befallen him in that time, and he’d realized that she actually wasn’t all that bright. “Come over here,” he said.

“I am not coming over there.”

“Then I’m coming over there.”

“You are not coming over here!” Marinette declared, slightly astounded. “People are changing!” He didn’t seem to care all that much. “We’re not all models, some of us have shame!”

He laughed. Fuck, his laugh. She’d forgotten how good it was. “Meet me in the middle then,” he said, hauling a leg over his guardrails before she could protest. “I want to be closer to you.”

She was going to die because of him, she was sure, even if he was sitting oh so comfortably on his own railing. With her luck, she’d slip then fall to her inevitable doom. She could only hope that the bushes below her were soft.

“There,” he said once she’d settled, kicking out so that his foot lightly tapped her leg to prove his point, “Closer.” This was obviously some elaborate scheme to kill her that he had spent the last three years planning.

Almost as soon as she sat down, she began to second guess it. The voice in the back of her head was screaming for her to get up and go back to the suite. She could see the girls in the hotel getting ready to leave, Rose hauling up Juleka’s dress and Mylene reapplying Alix’s eyeshadow. She knew she should have left, sitting out there dangling herself over the edge of a building with Adrien wasn’t the best idea. She was supposed to be in there, taking care of things, fixing dresses and calming down nerves. But then there was Alya at the door, her face lighting up as she looked out at her, craning her neck just enough to see Adrien. She didn’t look like she missed her, only like she wished she could stay a moment longer.

She had to see it out for Alya, if only so there was finally an end to it all, a yes or no to the Adrien situation. Then she could be better, the kind of friend Alya deserved, one who wasn’t stuck in the past. Then she could dance at the reception with Nino’s cousins, and faun over men with Alya who weren’t blond supermodels.

“I know I should have told you that night,” Adrien said, drawing her back in. “And I did try to. Actually, I should have told you many nights ago, years even, but I don’t even know how to start now.” She closed her eyes, things like this were easier to take when you didn’t have to look. “I don’t regret disappearing, Marinette.”

There it was.

“But I do regret not taking you with me,” he said, and her eyes flew open.

If she hadn’t been holding on for dear life, she might have fallen off the balcony.

“Not just now,” he clarified, because it felt like a split decision. “But before too, so many times before. From the moment I left, I knew that I wanted to turn back, but I kept telling myself that I was doing the right thing. Over and over again, this is for Marinette. Marinette will move on. It didn’t matter if it hurt, you would be okay.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“You weren’t,” Adrien agreed. “I’m going to sound like an awful person, but I was happy about that. I was way too happy,” he admitted. “And this isn’t going to fix anything, this isn’t going to give you those three years back, this isn’t going to solve the problem an empty hotel room caused, and this won’t bring back Tikki and Plagg—But I’m asking you for just one second to give me this chance. I’m asking you to make the dumbest mistake of your life with me; to leave this party and everyone in it, to walk Paris again like it’s our city to own. For just one night, even though your body will practically ache with stupidity, disappear with me. Leave them all to wonder where we went, how even years later we always seem to miss things. Because I love you, even when you’re just walking on the sidewalk beside me and not saving the day, you’re my everyday Ladybug. Because I just want those moments back where it’s just you and I, and no one else knows who we really are.”

“And who are we, Adrien?” She asked. “The two biggest idiots in Paris?”

“A team,” he said, “amongst other things.”

---------------------------------------------

Epilogue:

Alya Lahiffe was dancing with her newly obtained husband when she saw it, a flash of red and black over the hotel garden wall. Her hands tightened around his neck as she took it in, a woman in a red bridesmaid dress and a man dressed in all black sprawled out in a heap on the ground, laughing after having practically tumbled over the brick wall surrounding the venue. They both looked from side to side, their noses nearly colliding with each other as they turned, both lighting up in laughter as they assumed the coast to be utterly clear and them to have snuck back into the party without anyone realizing.

“You okay, hun?” Nino asked as he looked down at her, taking in her expression.

“Yeah,” she grinned, watching as Marinette left only a peck on Adrien’s nose, resulting in the young man’s outrage. “I think I am.” She turned them, letting Nino see as Adrien reached for Marinette once more, dragging her down to kiss him.

“The absolute worst best man,” Nino chuckled, looking away as he pressed his forehead against Alya’s.

“And the most seasick, lovelorn maid of honor,” Alya said. “It’s a wonder they got anything done.”

“I give them a year before we get to pay them back, and we’re not skipping the ceremony. We’re giving bad speeches and throwing the bachelor party on a boat, doing the cupid shuffle—the whole nine yards.”

“And letting Marinette’s dad overload them with cake?”

“If he forgets any, we’ll just have to pull the samples out of our freezer.”

#adrienette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ml fanfic #miraculous fanfiction #post reveal #pre relationship #my fanfic #my fanfics #I'll be reblogging this in a minute with the other chapters linked

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klaineownsmysoul · 3 years

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Why does D agree to certain things? It’s probably because the alternative is worse but then I still don’t understand why he agreed to the sham. He could not have right? Idk what would have happened had he, but I feel anything is better than being married to her. All she does is ruin his reputation, and give him a straight image (to his team), so I genuinely wonder what image he wants for himself because if he didn’t go along with it, what else could they have painted him as that they haven’t already and continue to?

There are endless opinions on this, depending on who you ask. The m/iarren stans and the fans who believe that every message from D’s SM are actually from him will tell you that there was nothing to agree to because he loves her and wanted to marry her because he can’t live without her. They have a love that’s truer than true and are #couple goals. They are perfect for each other in every way and he adores her every breath and she’s just as devoted to him, which is why she follows him everywhere he goes. There’s nothing odd about the length of their relationship and the fact that no one involved in it can give you a consistent time frame. You ask 5 people how they met or when they started dating, you’ll get 5 different answers. All those pics of them together where she’s grabbing onto him and clutching at any limb within her reach are just her being affectionate. The fact that they sit like strangers on a subway during one part of an interview and when it’s noticed, the next part that’s released has both of them being all touchy feely is just coincidence. The dude bro slang and emoji filled posts are just him having fun and being spontaneous. They’re cheeky and silly. Its just him living his best life and there’s nothing forced or untoward about it. He loves only hanging out with her trashy besties and spending nights entertaining the masses in her piano baby/lifelong dream business that she can’t be bothered to promote or run while he accompanies her on the piano looking completely lifeless as she drunkenly butchers one of the 4 songs she knows and thinks she can sing. He’s just being a supportive partner when he talks about the awful branded merchandise from the strip bar during a tv segment that’s supposed to be about his career and then models it later on in a cute coupley pic where he looks like his soul has just left his body. Having her accompany his every move is just what married couples do or didn’t you know that? It’s not natural for one partner to do something without the other, especially if it’s career related. All celeb couples are joined at the hip once they officiate their own wedding. All celeb couples have a wedding - or a great party as it’s sometimes known as - that is corporate sponsored to within an inch of its life. All celeb couples who have one person say they didn’t want to be in a public relationship have a cover story done in Vogue magazine and then have their pr team make sure the link to that article is noted and shared in practically every print interview done for the other person for over a year. This is all completely normal behavior for a 100% believable couple.

There are no such things as contracts that dictate behavior and managers and pr teams don’t post things on their client’s behalf. Lavender relationships and marriages are a thing of the past. No one would dare impose something like that on a celeb in 2021. It must be nice to be that naive. Or sad. Mostly sad. If you believe that, then you haven’t been listening to the stories of celebs who’ve been closeted and decided to come out at the risk of their career. It’s a thousand times easier to market someone as straight - there’s no denying that. And when you’re young and just starting out, you have no leverage whatsoever and will go along with what people tell you to do. If you don’t, you don’t have a career. It’s as simple and evil as that. They hold all the cards and if you want to be a musician or an actor, you have to play by their rules. You sign a deal and before you know, everything has snowballed and you’re in so deep, you don’t know how to begin to climb out. Look at Taylor Swift and the mess she’s gone through with her songs and she’s one of the biggest singers on the planet. Whether you’re a fan or not, you know who she is. If she can’t get control over songs that she freaking wrote because of a shitty contract she signed when she was like 16 without massive amounts of legal issues, what hope do the people who are less famous have? Look at what D said about his lack of input on the evolution of Blaine’s hair and how he didn’t want to rock the boat. Something as simple as that and he didn’t feel like he could or should speak up. Now apply that same mentality to a legal document and think about how hard it would be to try to countermand any part of it, especially when you’re as young as he was then.

D’s team is particularly troublesome because they’re lazy and incompetent and have no interest in marketing him as he really is. The easy way out is the straight way out and that’s their lane. That’s the one they’ve chosen and they will ride that till the wheels fall off. Let’s be honest: D is all RR has. He’s going to milk every drop he can out of D while he can. There’s no celeb out there with an established career who’s considering new management who looks at D’s situation: the circus that is always around him, the garbage that’s posted on his SM in his name, the endless ads for things like ugly ass jewelry and a paid promo pic for a 5 star hotel in the Philippines from the group honeymoon (not a thing) that they crashed after D spent days sifting through garbage with women who live in abject poverty and will never make the kind of money that even a meal at that hotel would cost which totally makes him look awesome - and think “yes! This is what’s been missing all along. Where do I sign?” He’s not getting a free home reno and some TV time from the girl who played Luna in the HP movies and B/ecca T/obin - someone who played a forgettable and unremarkable bitchy blond cheerleader (def breaking the mold there, totally not a trope that can be found in every 80s high school movie or tv show) and now hosts a ridiculous podcast. So he’s going to push his own agenda and make sure that everyone knows his client is straight at every opportunity that’s presented and foist his bride in our faces at even more opportunities just in case it wasn’t clear because oh my god did you hear that D is straight? And he’s been dating this super cool rockstar woman since he was an embryo so there’s no way anything could have ever happened between him and someone else from this show he was on for a while. It wasn’t a big deal or anything. He had a small role and a love interest but they weren’t real popular. I mean if you’ve seen one gay teenage romance, you’ve seen them all. The show’s been over for 5 years and they’re hardly ever mentioned now so there’s no point in keeping them alive. It’s not a role that meant anything to him and it’s certainly not something he would want to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of. I wonder if he was allowed to do that as long as managed to shoehorn in a mention of his lovely ball and chain of many moons. Because that’s what always happens. Doesn’t matter what the topic at hand is - it always seems to come back around to her. And she just smirks and flashes her fake engagement ring at the camera and eats it up because he does all the work and she reaps all the rewards. Like RR, she’ll never give him up without a fight because what then? No one will write articles about what a badass she is. No one will be there to do free promo for her strip bar. No more red carpet pics or designer duds gifted to her. No more free trips to Europe or last minute weekend getaways with his stylist. No one will care about her super secret Instagram account and post pics from it that she’s forwarded over so they get picked up and pumped out to news blogs for maximum coverage. No more pics with actual famous people because who’s inviting a career less nobody to events? She’s a woman in her mid 30s who behaves like an 18 year old on spring break and thinks nothing of it. She doesn’t give a shit how her behavior reflects on D because she doesn’t care about him. All she cares about is what he can provide her and that’s secondhand fame, money, and the image of the best wife to ever wife. But if he was single, then there’d be even more questions about his sexual orientation than there are now and no way to refute anything. So we get this clusterfuck. What they fail to understand is that the harder they push, the more holes they create and the more distasteful this all becomes. I just want to be a fan of D. That’s all I want. But I can’t do that because he comes with a front and center “work family” that I can’t get away from.

I sometimes don’t know what he wants for himself image wise but I truly don’t think it’s this. The difference between in person D and SM D is too great for me to believe he’s really cool with all of it. I don’t know how many more times he has to say that he’s rarely on SM, which should be the reddest of red flags that most of the stuff posted is not coming from him. The fact that he’s taken to SM to rebuff things said in his name that are patently false and insulting reinforces that belief for me. He’s not perfect but he’s not the fake barely literate guy he’s portrayed as. I wouldn’t still be here if I thought that’s who he really was and I wouldn’t care at all about his personal life if it wasn’t shoved down my throat ad naseum.

Well this post kinda got away from me. 😊. I’m so very tired of all this and if I’m tired, D must be exhausted.

#pathetic and obvious table for one please #Hollywood is effing toxic #he deserves so much better

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ffangirlingsince2001 · 3 years

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The Great Upheaval of Percy Weasley: Mirrors

Percy Weasley x OC

Summary: Defense Against the Dark Arts takes a turn for the worst.

Warnings: angst, fluff

MASTERLIST

mirrors -n- eyes that stare back haunt me, but when you join the reflection becomes clear.

***

Professor Lupin quickly became Elle’s favorite teacher. It wasn’t difficult when the rest of her favorites had raging flaws.

Professor Sprout was incessantly bubbly. She never had anything bad to say about anyone, ever. And while many students found that to be a blessing, Elle couldn’t stand it. Nothing said lack of a challenge like a teacher who never gave bad marks. Some days she messed up purpose, begging for a snap, but one never came. She was always full of sweet, encouraging words that never seemed to do Elle’s work justice. Her sole saving grace was that she allowed Elle to wander around the greenhouse after hours if only to understand her garden’s magical properties and the way they could be combined and altered.

Professor McGonagall cared far too much for technique and not enough about creativity. The lion for example, a beautiful display of transfiguration and she was being punished for it. Didn’t matter that no one had ever been able to accomplish that as sixth year, all that mattered was that her technique was off.

And it goes without saying Professor Snape hated her. The only teacher who managed to keep her challenged while still allowing for creativity hated her for the color of her tie. It’s not to say that in the beginning she didn’t try to make him love her work, and she had certainly succeeded, but that didn’t stop him from hating her every being.

Professor Lupin was the wonder of all three. Creative, challenging, and without the obsession of technique, plus he didn’t seem to hate anyone. Her certainly tolerated her and her temper towards her partner.

It didn’t matter that Percy kept her company in empty classrooms, she still wanted nothing more than embarrass in front of everyone who dared to watch. And as she walked into class that beautiful Wednesday morning that was all she had on her mind, beating Percy Weasley into the ground while wide blue eyes asked why.

However, that didn’t seem to be the plan for this particular Wednesday.

Desks were pushed to the sides and a large shaking wardrobe sat in the center.

Clouds were covering her Wednesday morning.

Percy fell into place beside her, a single finger drawing down her arm alerting her to his presence. She would have flinched a month ago, but a month ago she didn’t have the Head Boy touching her whenever he got close enough. There was no romance to it, neither them were stupid enough to fall for that, but it certainly was edging on addiction. When she had first suggested it she had assumed it was simply an attempt to keep her mind busy and to relieve herself of the incessant drive to kiss him again.

Instead of relieving she only wanted more, and from the number of times he had dragged her into the Restricted Section of the library he had once dubbed to pure, she was sure he was suffering from the same craving.

His finger never left her arm until Lupin stepped in from his office, and then he was back to being the perfect child. It was a good thing he did too, because when Lupin announced the creature hiding in that wardrobe, she might have ended anyone who touched her.

The dreaded Boggart.

She considered refusing, storming away and hiding until class was over. But that would be defeat, and she would let Percy Weasley face the thing he feared very most if she wasn’t going to do the same. That would be cowardice and just as her tie stated, she was not a coward.

Lupin reminded that it was just for fun, one last go around before he had it destroyed. There would be no grade, it was just a bit of relaxer, he assured them.

Elle felt anything but relaxed.

She made her way as close to the end as she could manage, head held high. She thought she had gotten past the lesson of Boggarts in her third year without a hitch. Quirrell was too much of a coward to bring live creatures into the classroom so it had been nothing more than bookwork and theory. Now the shaking wardrobe was standing before her, mocking her and Percy, who had somehow ended up behind her, was going to see her fail for the first time ever.

She gnawed her black nails as she drew closer to the front, biting off the carefully grown ends. Five people, then three, and then one. It turned into a ghost, and then as she cast the spell is dropped to the floor like a forgotten bedsheet. She closed her eyes and took a step forward, breathing deeply.

The sheet rose, a body forming beneath it and then with familiar fingers, it pulled the sheet away revealing something that was almost a mirror. She looked the way she should have, the way her mother would have liked it. Classic, a beige two-piece set, nude pumps, no eyeliner. She didn’t have braids, her mother hated those too. Instead it was let loose, long curls, she could imagine a ribbon tying them back She was longer, more fluid this way. And her grey eyes, the ones that always stared back at her in the mirror, were looking at her the same way she looked at Percy Weasley. Her mirror’s wand was out before she could react, and she was flying across the classroom into the desks that had been placed against the wall.

That dreaded fear of the what-could-have-beens. A stronger, more respected witch stared down at her, mocking her as she advanced. Elle yanked her wand out.

“R-riddikulus,” she stuttered, but there was no fun idea to trade out for the fear that kept inching closer. And then, out of the corner of her eye she caught sight Percy, watching with something that fell between terror and apt fascination. She uttered the spell again, determined to beat him, but her mirror kept advancing. “Riddikulus, Riddikulus, Riddikulus,” she screamed until someone stepped in front of her.

She thought it was Lupin at first, until her mirror image turned to Percy’s. The Head Boy stared down his mirror, and with only a slight tremor to his voice raised his wand and uttered the magical words. It dashed into a thousand pieces like she wished it had done for her.

Lupin was speaking but she couldn’t hear a thing. The blood rushing through her ears made her dizzy as Percy turned, and without a hint of arrogance helped her to her feet. She stumbled a little, catching his shoulder as she tipped forwards.

He caught his hand on her waist. It slid beneath her robe and to the small of her back, a small comfort.

“Meet me.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere,” she gasped before pulling away and gathering her things. Lupin tried to talk to her, as did Dinah, but all she wanted to do was run, and that’s what she did. She relished in the sounds of her boots hitting the floor, grateful they weren’t heels.

How could she be so stupid?

She could already hear the rumors they would make about her. The first time she had encountered a boggart she had been eleven. She had whispered the same things to herself that they would whisper to each other. It hadn’t attacked her that first time, it hadn’t felt threatened, not when she terrified at the sight of herself climbing out of an old trunk. She thought she had been going crazy, she had cried to Madam Pomfrey for what seemed like hours, unable to articulate the sight. Eventually everything was explained, and she was excused to go to her room, but she had vowed to beat it, whatever it meant, the next she encountered a boggart it was going to be different.

It clearly wasn’t.

She ran a hand over a braid and charged into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, throwing her book bag against the wall, and staring into the mirror. That was who she wanted to see, this was her, not that preppy priss who managed to tower over her with a single raised eyebrow.

Her grey eyes were still lined with black liner and her hair was still tied in two long braids. That mirage was just that, an illusion that existed only within her mind. She punched the mirror, watching as it shattered upon impact. Carelessly, she watched her knuckles bleed before whirling around at the sound of a girlish laugh. Myrtle was peering over a stall, resting her head on her folded arms. Couldn’t she leave someone to angst in peace?

“Fuck off.”

“It’s my bathroom,” she reminded indignantly.

“Fine, I’ll leave.” She huffed and gathered the books that had spilled across the floor during her tantrum. Blood soaked onto the pages and she swore violently. Could this day really get any fucking worse? She slammed open the door again, ignoring the whispers of the girls who had watched her enter the bathroom in the first place.

“I’d be scared if I looked like that too,” one whispered and Elle rolled her eyes. Fucking fourth years. She allowed her gaze to meet the girl who had spoke and pulled out her wand.

“Want to say that to my fucking face?” The fourth year squeaked as she advanced. Elle was convinced she would have ruined those gossiping pricks entire week had Percy not walked around the corner looking for her.

“Elle!” She considered ignoring him but decided snogging in some dark corner would be better for her mood than removing femurs from insolent children. She sent them one last fiery glare before stalking towards Weasley.

If he wanted anything other than snog her, she was going to explode.

She followed him silently, itching to get her hands on that cocky ginger. The moment they turned the corner into an empty corridor, she pounced. He pulled her into a broom cupboard, locking it behind them as she attacked him with lustful ferocity. She ripped open his shirt, black nails raking along pale skin.

“Elle, you’re bleeding,” he muttered breathlessly.

“Fuck, sorry,” she swore. Truth be told, she had forgotten the moment he had stepped into view. She pulled out her wand to heal the cuts, but he had already beat her to it. With soft movements the cuts closed, and the stains disappeared until there was no evidence of the injury. She sucked in a deep breath as he watched her, already itching to kiss him again.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked as she grabbed him.

“No,” she mumbled against his lips, but he pushed her away, hands pressing against her shoulders. “Percy, I said I don’t want to talk about it.” She leaped forward again, but he shoved her against the wall. A mop or two clattered to the ground at the impact and she swallowed.

“Sorry,” he muttered, loosening his grip. She wished he hadn’t apologized. “It’s just, you’re not the only one who saw yourself today.” Elle blinked as she thought back to the moments when he had stepped in front of her. He had seemed without fear then, but now he was shifting nervously, unable to meet her eyes. She reached out and took his face more tenderly than she had anticipated. Blue met grey and her stomach rolled uncomfortably.

“Thank you,” she muttered before kissing him. That was uncharacteristically tender too. When she pulled away, he was smiling softly. “And I’m sorry I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Elle, I’m not saying you have to. I just want you to know you’re not the only one who had to face yourself today.” Behind sharp eyes, Elle could feel herself welling up. From the first time she had seen herself staring back she had felt like an enigma that couldn’t be solved. She had been a solitary being, but now Percy, who couldn’t be more different was the same. Her stomach turned again, and she nodded, quickly kissing him before he noticed the tears building in her eyes.

This time he didn’t try to push her away but pulled her closer. She dug her fingers through his hair and didn’t hesitate to respond as he wrapped her legs around his waist, pushing her up against the wall. Fingers slipped beneath her skirt, denting soft skin with hunger.

“Fuck,” she growled as he wrapped a braid around his fist, tugging it until her neck was exposed to soft lips and harsh teeth. She grabbed his shoulders, holding on tightly as he almost hesitantly nipped at her pulse. He ran his mouth up her neck and along her jaw, nipping at her ear until she was moaning his name. He found her lips again to quiet her soft whispers, catching the taste of his name leaving her lips. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lowered her legs, pulling him tighter against her lips.

“Good talk,” he muttered when they pulled away for air and she laughed.

“Excellent talk, best one we’ve had yet.”

“Shall we talk some more?”

“McGonagall’s going to hang us.”

“I’ve already explained it to her. You’ve ran off and I’ve gone to check on you, it’s terribly tragic really,” he whispered, and she grinned before pressing herself against him once more.

“I knew I was snogging a genius.” And then they proceeded to talk much, much more.

Taglist: @andromedasstarship @danadeacon

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15-dogs · 4 years

Note

Hi! I saw that your requests were open so can I request harry x female reader with prompt #2 from prompt list 2?? Thank you :)

best dressed |h.p.|

pairing: harry potter x fem!reader

summary: you’re paired up with your long time crush, harry, for your amortentia project when things go awry

prompt: your shirt/jumper was in the laundry pile and I couldn’t help but steal it

warnings: none

guide: (Y/N) = your name, (Y/L/N) = your last name

word count: 2406

a/n: may I just say that this is my first ever request and I was literally so happy when I saw it!! I hope I did your request justice lmk what you think :)

Things were going terribly, to say the least. Well, not terribly, but certainly not good. Hermione always did say you had a flair for the dramatics. You and Harry were partnered up during Potions for a big project, one that took you ages to complete. Of course, you just so happened to be brewing amortentia, and Hermione had just so happened to abandon you with the guy you were hopelessly crushing on. So, really, it shouldn’t have been all that bad. Concocting love potion with the guy you liked seemed like something out of a muggle romance novel but things never seem to turn out the way you wanted them to.

“So,” you began, depositing the materials on your shared desk, “here’s the stuff we need. Slughorn said that it’ll take nine days to brew this so we might as well get started.”

Harry nodded and cracked open his textbook. Your heart ached a little; he couldn’t even look at you? Not even reply with a semi-enthusiastic “yes”? Apparently not. He had been acting strangely ever since you two were partnered up but you dismissed it, opting to relish the time spent with the messy haired boy next to you.

“Okay, first, we turn on the flame.” You lit a fire with your wand underneath the cauldron and it grew larger with every passing second. Harry looked up, eyes wide, jumping up from his seat to tug you away.

“You could burn yourself!” he scolded. He took his own wand out and muttered a spell to reduce the flames.

However, you couldn’t focus on what he said as your back was flush against his chest. You could feel his heart pounding, wondering what on Earth could have gotten him so nervous. He seemed to notice that you had been silent for a moment too long (because the feeling of his strong arm clutching your waist was a bit distracting) and quickly retracted his hands, hurrying back to his seat.

“Since when have you been so careful?” you teased, raising an eyebrow at him with suspicion. He glanced over his shoulder at you as you resumed your position beside him.

“Since always,” he replied with a shrug. You began to laugh loudly at him and he looked up at you, blush coating his cheeks. For a moment, you faltered at the sight before regaining your sense of self.

Clearing your throat, you said, “Yeah, right. Next thing you’re going to tell me is that I’m related to Malfoy.”

A smile erupted on Harry’s face that had you weak in the knees. “Don’t joke about that. Don’t want that one coming true, now do we?”

It was the third day into brewing and you and Harry had decided to meet up after classes to check on your potion. Both of you had stripped of your heavy school uniforms once you entered the stuffy classroom, draping robes and sweaters on the chairs near the back of the room.

“You know, I wasn’t so impressed with the season this year. The Canons barely proved competition to anyone but the Harpies!” you complained as you stirred the potion. Harry chuckled at your enthusiasm.

“Is that so?”

“That is so!”

You couldn’t help but laugh with him. His happiness was so contagious, it was ridiculous. Sometimes you thought that he knew how you felt but Hermione assured you that it wasn’t obvious. No, those longing glances in class weren’t obvious, nor were the pronounced ogling of him as you daydreamed.

How could he be so oblivious?

Harry scanned his textbook, his brows knit together. He ran his finger across the words again with confusion. He looked up at you and explained, “I’m going to fetch something from the ingredients closet, d’you mind?”

“If it’ll speed this up, please go for it.”

Although your words were joking, Harry seemed a little disappointed. His smile fell slightly before he nodded with a grin that didn’t quite meet his eyes. He disappeared into the closet leaving you feeling lost.

Ah, perfect. Where things go wrong.

You never even bothered to ask him what he was getting. Thinking you were doing yourself a favor, you glanced at the textbook. Would you look at that, that flames should be higher. You took out your wand to induce a larger flame, causing the potion to bubble. But then it started to boil. And then it exploded.

It wasn’t a loud, dramatic pop, but rather a silent burst of hot solution staining your entire shirt. You immediately turned the flames down before groaning at the sight of your ruined shirt. You peeked at the closet doorway, then ran over towards the abandoned clothing at the back of the room.

You shouldn’t have done it, but you did. Harry’s sweater almost looked too promising. Your fingers subconsciously reached out to it after removing your blouse. You slipped on the worn material, massaging the cloth between your fingers. You raised the fabric to your nose, inhaling light cologne and laundry detergent.

“Is that my jumper?” Harry asked. His voice made your heart jump into your throat. Your hands began to shake as you turned around to meet his eyes. You gasped at the way his gaze lustfully roved over your body.

“I...yes, sorry. I, um, blew up the potion.” You winced at your words, your eyes clenching shut to avoid his glare. You opened them after you heard footsteps coming your way.

“Well,” Harry began, glancing over his shoulder at the mess, “still made it farther than I could alone.”

Your laughter got caught in your throat at the way he studied you. He was so close, it was intoxicating. Whatever aromas that lingered on his sweater were a thousand times more powerful up close. You let out a shaky breath as Harry hesitantly placed his hands on your hips. Before you could ask what he was doing, he kissed you. You were frozen, your cheeks red hot with embarrassment.

He pulled away quickly, raising his hands in the air. He shook his head and backed up into the table, nearly knocking over the half emptied cauldron. You took a few steps towards him but he tried to back up further.

“I can clean this up,” he offered. “Go to dinner.”

“But Harry-”

“It’s really okay, (Y/N).”

You slowly exited the Potions classroom and made your way to the Great Hall, wondering what in the world had just happened. You anxiously tugged at the sleeves of the sweater you wore, realizing just then that you had left with Harry’s sweater on.

Harry was quite good at avoiding people when he needed to. You could barely chat with him during class because he had his nose buried in his textbook which, for everyone there, was a rather strange occurrence. Rumors spread quickly about the two of you after you had attended dinner in a size too large Gryffindor sweater― Hogwarts did love a good rumor.

Fantastic. Another way to ruin Harry’s day.

Slughorn had been quite angry at the two of you for screwing up the potion. He docked your grades and encouraged the two of you to split up because you were no good working together. You were forced to join Malfoy and Crabbe while Harry got the pleasure of joining Ron and Hermione. At least you didn’t have to feel guilty about partnering him up with someone he hated. You decided you could take the bullet on that one.

But leaving you in the dark like that was something you couldn’t accept. You had begged Hermione to clue you in on anything that Harry might’ve said that would have pertained to you but she claimed she knew nothing. She was quite an awful liar.

“I don’t buy it,” she replied with a shake of your head. Hermione feigned offence before dropping her facade at your knowing look.

“Fine, so he may have mentioned something.”

Your heart began to race. “Something? What? What did he say?”

“He mentioned something about his jumper being missing? How he felt guilty about...Godric, what was it?”

You groaned, tugging at your hair. “Come on, spit it out!”

Hermione sent you a sharp look. “I’m trying, (Y/N), Merlin...oh! Right. He said he felt guilty about not following through. Does that mean anything to you?”

You scoured your mind, searching for an answer. Sadly, you shook your head. “When did things get so bloody complicated with him?”

You sauntered up to your dorm not too long after, feeling an emotional toll on yourself. Harry was your friend, first and foremost, but now he acted like he didn’t even know you. As you fell on your bed, you noticed the house elves deposited your fresh laundry there. You shuffled through the items, freezing as Harry’s sweater was mixed in.

You shouldn’t do it, no. But of course you did. You threw that thing on with haste, wasting no time in bringing the material up to your nose. His smell was still there, at least a little bit of it. Enough lingered so that you fell asleep, dreaming of Harry beside you. You dreamt of him holding you against his chest, how his hands would slowly trail down your back and pop under his sweater which you wore, caressing your skin softly. He would trace his initials into your back, not to say that he owned you, but rather to say that he had someone to spend the rest of his life with.

Yes, those were nice things to think about, but clearly they would never happen as Harry had really taken to not talking to you. However, you didn’t need to think about that.

Malfoy and Crabbe squished you between them, their shoulders on yours. You huffed a little as you tried to wiggle out of their enclosure, the two bullies cackling to themselves.

“Leave her alone, Malfoy,” Harry commanded. His sudden presence made you jump― so now he wanted to talk to you?

“So, it’s true, then? Potter is in love?” Malfoy sneered. When he was distracted, you managed to slip out from the two Slytherins and slide over towards Hermione, nodding a polite thanks at Harry.

Before Harry could fight back, Slughorn demanded everyone return to their stations as they were to test out their potions. One by one, students announced the scents that appeared in their amortentia. But honestly, everyone was really only waiting for two people to respond: you and Harry. Were the rumors true? Were you putting on an act? Who is Harry Potter’s soulmate?

Whispers flooded the room as Harry leaned forward to smell the potion. He instantly went red, looking at you from the corner of his eye. He gave a tight-lipped smile to Slughorn before he said, “Must be coming down with something because I can’t smell a thing.”

Slughorn, who looked like he would combust from all the commotion, simply nodded. “Right, then. Next is...Miss (Y/L/N).”

Your heart pounded in your ears. Although you hated to admit it, you were beginning to buy into those rumors; who really was Harry Potter’s soulmate?

You took a deep inhale, then frowned. You tried it again, groaning as you looked over at Harry. “Harry,” you complained quietly, “would you stop wearing that...cologne? Whatever it is, I can’t smell the potion.”

Harry’s eyes went wide. You raised a brow at him in confusion. Murmurs filled the room.

“Erm, (Y/N)?”

“What?” you responded, slightly irritated.

“I’m not wearing any cologne. In fact, I used Ron’s soaps today because I ran out of mine.”

Your jaw dropped. While still maintaining eye contact, you leaned forward once more to sniff the potion. All you could smell was that cologne, wait...no, there was broomstick wax and pine. It felt like inhaling his scent from his sweater all over again.

Class was painfully slow after that. Harry bounced his leg anxiously while you fiddled with your robe to avoid looking at him. A pit formed deep in your stomach― it was almost too embarrassing that, not only did Harry know that you liked him, but the whole class knew as well.

The second class ended, you darted out of the room and towards the dorms. Harry couldn’t keep up with you so he ended up trailing lamely behind. You bolted upstairs to your room and sniffed his sweater again and again, confirming you hadn’t gone mad for thinking that you smelled Harry in your amortentia. As your anxiety increased, you put on Harry’s sweater, the action instantly grounding you.

“(Y/N)!” a familiar voice shouted from outside your window. “(Y/N), please! I’ll cause a scene if I have to!”

You peeked out the window to see Harry hovering on his broom. You cracked the window open and let him in, feeling your body thrumming with nerves.

“Are you thick?” you cried. “What are you doing?”

“(Y/N), I lied. I smelled you in the potion, I just...I couldn’t put you through any more humiliation, so I lied!”

“Humiliation?” And here you were thinking you humiliated him.

“Yes, humiliation. I knew that my feelings towards you would come out one way or another, but I never expected it to be the way that it did, spiraling into rumors and all.”

“What are you saying? You fancied me prior to this?”

That’s not exactly what you wanted to say but you couldn’t help yourself. The words just spilled out of your mouth and you couldn’t take them back.

“I don’t want you to be just another rumor.”

“That’s not funny, Harry,” you mumbled dismally.

Harry gripped your arm to get your attention, his eyes looking through you were severe intensity. You gasped slightly at the feeling, butterflies erupting in your stomach. Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when he noticed the familiar material in his hands.

“Is that my jumper?” Your body went rigid at his words.

“...no?”

Harry’s eyes flickered down to your lips. You didn’t have time to process the action before he was on you, kissing you sweetly. You clutched him for support as his gentle kiss left you stumbling. Your arms snaked around the back of his neck, playing with tails of his hair as he pulled away from you.

Ah, right. Hermione’s comment made sense now. There was the follow through.

“It looks much better on you, anyway.”

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter headcanon #harry potter fanfiction #request

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melodiesofblueroses · 3 years

Text

𝘓𝘪𝘱 𝘉𝘢𝘭𝘮

→ 𝘓𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘹 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

🎕 𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: Levi’s lip balm seems to work miracles when y/n compliments him on how soft his lips are, then he runs out and tries to find another one that’d work just as fine.

🎕 𝘎𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦: Fluff

🎕 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: ~2.2k

🎕 𝘏𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴 𝘶𝘱: f!reader

“your lips are so soft.” levi froze, as if on instinct, immediately upon hearing those words. if only he could see his face at that moment, he’d bet that it looked all red and awkward and unattractive. this was such a special moment, and now it was all ruined thanks to him. ughh, if only he would’ve stayed all cooped up in his room. but all those thoughts were quickly swept to the side when levi reflected back on what had just happened in the past few seconds. his crush had kissed him! kissed him, right on the lips, after the two of them shared a stroll through the gardens!! levi, the demon who thought that he’d only have his favorite characters besides him, was able to find romance.

“i. um, well-i…” he was at a loss for words. one of his largest romantic dreams had finally come true, and all levi could do was stand still. it was too much for him to take at that moment honestly. should he say thanks? respond with ‘you too?’ go in for another kiss? none of his romcoms or manga ever went over this scenario, so he was all on his own. so levi did the only thing he could do, mumble out something incoherent and hope that y/n would pick up the message.

“you’re so cute.” at this point, y/n was probably trying to murder the demon. she couldn’t help it though. it was so fun teasing the avatar of envy, especially when he reacted so cutely. “well, i’m gonna go ahead and head back to the house. i’m a bit tired right now.” with that, y/n waved levi goodbye, adding a little wink as one final tease, before skipping back as she hummed contently. she was pretty proud of herself for building up the courage to kiss him directly after all these months of crushing on him.

levi stood amidst the garden filled with blooming flowers special only to the devildom, still dumbfounded at what had just taken place. the human exchange student had just kissed him out of nowhere and then went on to compliment how soft his lips were. unconsciously, he moved to touch his lips, shivering a bit upon the sensation of his finger on his lips as he remembered how her lips felt. geez, he’d have to thank that special edition ruri-chan lip balm he managed to snatch for tonight.

it had been a few weeks since the little night walk (at least that’s what the other brothers called it), and levi had grown more conscious of his lips, whether for better or for worse. his most valuable possession had gone from his tsl collection to lip balm, which was quite a jump. every morning and night, levi always managed to apply some of the balm in order to ensure that his lips were the softest. after all, he never knew when the next time y/n would surprise him with a kiss. maybe if he was confident enough, he’d be the one to make the first move. pfft, like that’d ever happen.

“gahh! this can’t be…” levi muttered, staring poignantly at his now empty lip balm. of course this would only happen to him, his luck was pure rotten. his ever cherished lip blam that made y/n compliment him was now all done, finished, empty to the core. and it was a limited edition one! there was no way levi would find another one of its kind. he was freaking out. now there was no way that y/n would ever kiss him again, not with his crusty and chapped lips. i mean, they weren’t that bad just yet, but soon they will be if he doesn’t find a suitable alternative fast. “maybe i could ask asmo for one.”

“ask me what?” levi was, needless to say, shocked at the sudden voice that answered him, not expecting a visitor to, well, visit his room. of course, it was none other than his younger brother asmo, standing in the doorway in all his might and glory, adjusting his pair of flower earrings that he always had on.

“n-nothing,” he mumbled, deciding it was better to keep it to himself since asmo would no doubt tease him due to the fact that levi was trying hard to impress y/n. he’d pick on his outfits, personality, the way he stumbles over his words when talking with others, the fact that he was way too obsessed with games and anime, and basically everything that made levi, well, levi. and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to handle all those comments. “anyway, where are you going, and what are you doing in my room?” he pointed out, eyeing his brother up and down. asmo was dressed up quite a bit, which didn’t really say much since he was always walking around in the latest fashion, but he figured it’d be a way to shift the conversation away from him and his troubles.

“i’m going to run a few errands with satan, and I, being the caring younger brother,” asmo glared at levi for his previous remark, “wanted to stop by and see if you wanted anything.” in truth, levi did want something: a new lip balm, but that would be too embarrassing to admit. plus, levi not wanting any new anime merch or the latest volume release would be too suspicious, and asmo would surely poke his nose into whatever was bothering his dear older brother.

“i need you to leave me alone.”

“a new set of clothes for you would surely be nice,” the younger scoffed, taking the time to belittle his clothing choice, just as levi had suspected. “what did you want to ask me anyway?”

“i said nothing.”

“annd i don’t believe you.”

“whatever, i don’t care. just leave me alone.”

“i’m not leaving until you tell me.” ugh, this constant back and forth was giving a levi a headache, and he knew how persistent asmo was, especially when it came to gossip and the personal lives of others. the avatar of lust was surely to find out sooner or later, whether through him, y/n, or some demon that had just so happened to pass by just as levi and y/n shared that kiss. although he wasn’t too keen on explaining what had happened between him and y/n, levi decided that it was better to do so in order to regain his privacy. then again, would asmo even leave him alone if he found out that his brother and the human were pursuing a relationship? well, it would be best not to think about that possibility right now.

“ugh, fine. i was just going to ask if i could borrow one of your lip balms,” he mumbled, looking to the side in order to try and cover up his blush. plus, seeing asmo’s shocked face would only make him regret his choice even more. the sooner this whole ordeal was over, the better.

“lip balm?” as suspected, asmo was, needless to say, confused at the request. i mean, this was the demon that always asked for the latest installment in manga, games, tsl, etc. all of a sudden, he’s worrying about chapped lips. it was quite a shocking transition to say the least. “well, that i can do. i’ll make sure to buy one that fits you.” levi sighed in relief, expecting this to be the end of this conversation, but asmo had other plans in mind. “but why this all of a sudden? trying to impress y/n?”

“w-wha? uhh...no! of course not,” levi retaliated, although he himself wasn’t fully convinced at his own statement. for one, he was a blushing mess, which he could tell since his cheeks suddenly felt way too warm. secondly, he was tripping over his words, and his brothers know all too well that he only does that when embarrassed. they did live with him for thousands of years after all. asmo shook his head, as if disappointed that his older brother would even attempt to escape from this one.

“levi,” asmo said a bit too seriously, cupping his older brother’s cheeks and staring him in the eyes. “we all know. the other night, when you and y/n went out for a walk, y/n came back all giddy, and you were a mess. honestly, i can’t believe you thought this would get under my nose of all demons.”

he was, well, speechless. i mean, levi didn’t believe for one second that he’d be able to get away with this “relationship.” for one, anytime someone mentioned y/n to him, levi would blank and act like a fool. also, his brothers knew him way too well. there was basically no such think as privacy within the house of lamentation. yet, he couldn’t help but feel humiliated. he himself wasn’t even entirely sure as to why he felt this way.

maybe it was because a relationship between a demon and a human was highly looked down upon, or maybe he was afraid of his brothers’ teasing. he was a yucky shut-in otaku after all. there was no doubt they’d make jokes about it (especially that scumbag mammon). then again, maybe he was just feeling humiliated because his “secret” was never a secret in the first place. his feelings for y/n were always out in the open, so nothing really big had been revealed. well, he had time to ponder over his feelings some other time. right now, levi needed to get that lip balm from asmo.

“yeah yeah whatever. can you just get me a lip balm?”

“of course. i have one in mind that’d be perfect for you.”

here levi stood outside the house of lamentation once more, hand-in-hand with y/n. she had once more invited him to walk with her through the blooming gardens. they weren’t really anything special to levi since they were a view he was accustomed to, but for y/n who was from the human realm, they were a spectacle. amidst the dreary and bleak devildom lay life, which was quite a shock to both angels and humans we expected hell to be as depicted in various media: treacherous. but the colorful array of flowers provided for a pop of color, a sharp contrast from the dark atmosphere.

“mirage flowers are so pretty,” y/n sighed, rubbing one of the petals between her thumb and index finger. “i wish i could take one back home, but i doubt diavolo would let me.” levi stood in silence as he intently listened to her thoughts that she was spilling to him. did she really trust him enough to tell him everything that was on her mind? that thought surely made his heart skip a beat.

when he finally snapped out of his little stupor, he noticed y/n looking at him rather strangely (he was oblivious to the fact that it was a dreamy stare). was there something on his face? did he forget to fix himself up? wait, what if she found him disgusting now?! all these thoughts and anxieties flooded his mind, and it clearly showed on his face that he was now in panic mode.

but then, he felt her lips on his once more, and levi’s mind blanked, just as it always does in situations like this. it was another dream come true, the one where y/n would kiss him again. maybe, just maybe, she didn’t really hate him as much as he thought. why else would she kiss him again? maybe she’d even compliment his lips once more; he hoped so, especially since he owes asmo way too much for that tiny stick of lip balm he had bought him, so it had better been worth it. the thought of that happening made him burn up.

“mm,” y/n hummed once the two parted, licking her lips as she seemed to be lost in thought. “strawberry?”

“uh, yeah.”

she hummed contently once more and laid down on the bleak and dreary devildom grass, patting the spot besides her, insisting levi to do so as well, to which he happily complied. well, it was a pretty dumb move of him to think that she wouldn’t notice his lip balm considering the fact that he had smothered it on prior to the walk. y/n didn’t seem to mind it too much though, and she did seem to like its strawberry taste, so i guess this was a success after all? it’d be best for levi not to dwell on it too much now, especially considering the fact that y/n had just snuggled in closer to him. this was way too much for levi’s fragile heart. first, she had asked him to take a walk with her again, and then she kisses him outta nowhere, and now they were cuddling? geez, he’s got to ask asmo for the name of the brand later.

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me leviathan #fluff #leviathan x reader

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crescentsteel · 4 years

Text

Just Friends - Part 4

plot: fubu set up with Kuroo as a university student, model fem reader

word count: 5612

A/N: I enjoyed writing this chapter, thus the extra thousand words. Don’t know how I should tag this. Smut, fluff, sexual tension (even though they had sex already?) I don’t really know lol.

Listening to Over and Over Again by Nathan Sykes while writing the rooftop scene.

There’s still 4 chapters in my head. I know its so long already but like I just can’t let go of my original vision haha

Part 3 | Part 5 | m.list

After you finish reviewing your last paper for the semester, you walk to his couch and let yourself fall on it.

“Finally!”

You’re done with the semester. You feel relief, but you also feel the weariness of the past weeks coming down on you. You thought that when you finish all your requirements and exams, the first thing you’re going to do is have sex with Kuroo. Especially since you were at his place already.

“You done with your paper?” he says loudly from his room.

‘Yep!”

You hear his footsteps approaching. He lifts your legs up and places it on his lap as he sits. You ignore him and continue to relax. His fingers start to slowly caress your legs up to your thighs. You know where he’s going with it, and it does feel nice, but not sexually.

You sit up, which gets his attention. He makes his move immediately and is about to kiss you. Before his lips touch yours, you cover them with your hands. He stops with a puzzled look on his face.

“Sorry. I know it’s been a while, but I’m still tired.”

He grips your wrist and puts your hand down. He holds both your shoulders and nuzzles your neck.

“Mmm. I can’t change your mind?”

You laugh weakly and ruffle his usual bed hair.

“Let’s watch something on Netflix. Maybe we can ‘chill’ later.” You give him a lopsided smile which he returns.

“Alright. What do you wanna watch?”

“Romance.”

He frowns at you.

“What? I wanna watch something that does not need my full attention.” You defend yourself.

“Mkay.”

It’s been around an hour since the movie started. Your mind is afloat while you watch. You can’t follow the story, but you like this state of doing nothing and something at the same time. You check on how Kuroo is, only to find him asleep. You’re amused at how this isn’t so surprising. After all, you aren’t the only one who juggled studies. You’re not even sure if he’s done with his own.

You scoot beside him. You’re about to wake him up to tease him about sleeping, but he looks really out of it. You stare at him for a while. You don’t tell it to him because he’s going to rub it in your face, but he really is good-looking. You brush up his bangs that was always blocking his face. You get a full view of his features. You’ve never paid attention to how he looks when sleeping.

Before you know it, you lean closer to him and kiss him on the forehead. After your lips leave his skin, you freeze in horror. What the hell did you just do?!

You’re only friends with benefits. Nothing about that was sexual nor friendly. You know your boundaries. You shouldn’t have done that. You don’t even like Kuroo like that. Right?

You shake your head furiously. No no no. You’re just really tired. Maybe your brain absorbed the romance even though you weren’t fully paying attention to the movie. Yeah. That was it.

You like Kuroo for sex and sex only.

You shake him furiously. He sits up abruptly.

“Huh? What happened?” He’s obviously startled by how you shook him, but his eyes are still a bit disoriented.

You stand up and remove your shirt. Your shorts go next. He puts his arms on his thighs and slouches a bit to look at you more closely. His once-disoriented eyes are now completely focused on you.

You hold his gaze as you strip yourself naked down to your underwear. That was all it took for the air to sizzle with lust. Since you’re at it, might as well make the most out of it. You stride slowly towards him. You give your hips a bit of a sway, lingering minutely in each step you take. You keep your eyes on his, not faltering in any way.

When you reach him, you straddle his lap. His hardness that’s rasping his flimsy boxers instantly lets you know that he enjoyed the show. You cup his face and kiss him right away. You don’t waste any time. You stick your tongue on his mouth as you grind on his hard-on. You want to feel him more. You want it now. You have to harshly remind yourself that this is what you came for.

You take out his member and position it at your entrance.

Kuroo pulls away from the kiss. He holds your hips in place, stopping you.

“Is something wrong, kitten?”

His lust-filled eyes now have a hint of worry in them. Why should it matter if something is wrong? That shouldn’t be an issue. You want to be had. Plain and simple.

Damn it. You don’t like how this is making you feel.

“Nothing. Don’t you want it?” you ask impatiently.

“Hah! Of course I do. But you seem upset.”

You underestimate how he notices almost everything. No way you’re going to let him know what’s going on in your head.

You sigh. You hug him and purr on his ear.

“Tetsu, I badly need you to fuck me right now.”

He grunts. You never use his first name. You don’t use swear words as well. Only now.

That does the trick. You feel him twitch underneath you. You feel his grip tighten on your hips that it almost hurts.

“Oh kitten,” he places an open-mouthed kiss at your shoulder.

“I’m gonna ruin you tonight.” You shiver at how dangerously he said those words.

He pulls your hair, making you look at him again. You shudder at the raw desire completely visible on his face.

He plays with one nipple with his tongue while his right hand gropes the other. His left hand goes to your groin. He traces the warmth of your slit and rubs your clit at the end of his strokes. You grip his shoulders tightly for support. You yelp when he bites the hard bud while inserting two fingers inside you.

Ahh yes. This is what you want, to let both of your carnal hunger for each other take over you. To let it cloud your head and consume you until your mind goes blank.

—

You look for your laptop in the back seat, but it wasn’t there. You’re a hundred percent sure that you did not take it to your unit last night. You were so out of it that you just got inside, laid down, and slept. That could only mean that you left it at his apartment.

You hurriedly take out your phone and dials his number. After three rings, he picks up.

“Hey. Can I go there? I think I left my laptop there.”

“I’m not home, but I do have it with me. I was just about to call if you’re at campus.”

“Actually, yes I am.”

“I’m around the area. I’ll be there in 20 minutes or so.”

“Alright. Thanks!”

You drop the call first.

You find a seat at the benches near the university gate. You’ll just wait for him here so he won’t need to find you.

“Oh hi y.n. Have you submitted our last paper?” It’s Kira, one of your classmates from your Management Theories class. She’s with another classmate of yours, but you don’t remember her name.

You give both of them a frail smile. That was all you could manage.

“Not yet. I’m waiting for someone before I do.”

“You okay y.n.? You don’t look too good. You must’ve stayed up all night for our paper.”

“Hahaha. Yeaaah.”

Blatant lie. You finished your paper early. It was Kuroo that kept you all night. A man of his word he is, he ravaged you senseless. It was only sheer willpower that gave you the strength to drive home at 2am.

In fact, you don’t want to go outside today. Your shoulders are tender. Your hips and legs ache. You feel sore between your thighs. Even walking is a chore You just want to lie down and waste the day away.

You hear your text notification.

“I’m here.”

When you find him, his eyes are already on you. He grins and waves at you. You can see your laptop bag on his hand. You meet him halfway.

“Are you sick?” He puts his hand on your forehead. You swat his hand away.

“No. But my everything hurts.” You speak softly.

“Oya?” You pout and glare at him. He puts up his usual conceited grin.

“You asked for it, kitten.” He inches closer to you and tilts your chin up.

“Remember?”

You feel your face getting warm. You always match his provocations. You don’t back down, but that was when you’re at the confines of his apartment. This is the first time you’re in a public space since you met at the bar. This is your university, your domain. You are very much aware that other students who might know you, are passing by.

You gently push him with one hand.

“Stop it. We’re in public.” You warn him while looking around.

“Alright, alright. Here’s your thing.” He hands you your laptop bag.

“Uhh. Thanks, Kuroo.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“It was Tetsu last night.” You scoff. “That was a one-time thing. You should’ve savored it.”

You freeze when you feel his hand on your cheek. You’re not sure which is warmer, his hand or your face.

“I did savor it.” He pinches it lightly before letting go.

Before you’re able to react, he scurries away with a stupid smile. “Hehe. See ya, y.n” he salutes with two fingers and finally leaves.

You want to be annoyed, but you’re too tired.

“You and your boyfriend look like you came from a magazine. You’re so tall and pretty.” You hear Kira’s voice behind you. You harshly turn around to explain. You wave your hands frantically. “No, no, no. He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Eeehh? But you were so sweet.”

You laugh nervously. “He’s just a friend.”

Kira nods. “You should go home after you submit our paper, y.n. Your face is very red now.”

Damn him.

—

When you passed your paper two weeks ago, that officially ended your semester. Aside from your modeling gigs, you’ve only stayed at home. Kuroo’s been asking if you want to hang out, but you’ve been ignoring him. You needed the rest from juggling sex, work, and studies. You thought that you need to focus on one for now - work. But now you’re getting bored. It’s been two days since your last gig. What should you do today?

An unknown number suddenly pops on your phone.

“Hello y.n.?” It was a familiar calm voice.

“Kenma?”

“Yea. But it’s Kuroo who asked me to call.” You hear fumbling on the other end.

“Oi. Y.n. Why do you answer Kenma’s call but ignore mine, huh?” You sigh. You don’t really want to explain that you need some time away from him.

“Never mind that. I’m at Kenma’s. Wanna play here?”

You perk up. That’s perfect. You don’t have anything to do today. It’s also been a while since you played altogether.

But, you’ve never been over at Kenma’s.

“Is it okay with him?” It might be Kuroo’s idea. You don’t want to impose.

“Kenma! You don’t mind, right?” You hear Kenma but couldn’t make out what he said.

“Yep. He said it was fine. I’ll text you the address.”

You drive to the address he gave you. He said to just enter, so you did. You follow Kuroo’s loud voice to locate them. You open the door where you hear his voice from. Both of them take their eyes away from the screen to see who entered.

“Look who’s back from the dead.” You don’t want to admit it but it was nice to see his usual grin.

“Missed me, Kuroo?” You tease back.

The two-week break did you some good. You’re back to how you are with each other, in your part at least. No weirdness involved.

“Hey Kenma.” you give him a warm smile. He greets back with a curt nod.

“So what’re we playing?” You sit beside Kuroo.

“I wanna race y.n.” Kenma says.

“Ooh. That means you’re in my seat, Kuroo.”

“Fine,” he unwillingly hands you the controller.

You switch places. Kenma goes to his disc collection and looks for the game you’re going to play.

“By the way y.n., aren’t you going to congratulate me?”

“For what?”

Pride shines on his face. “Hehe. I’ve passed all my subjects. I’m officially graduating this semester.”

You gape at him in astonishment. You know he’s a Senior, but you thought he’s going to graduate next semester, not this one.

“Whoa. I- uh.” You don’t know how to react. Should you hug him? Shake his hand? Kiss him?

Wait, what? You shake your head. Kenma’s here. No indecencies allowed.

“But why aren’t you celebrating?” you ask.

“I did already. I was gonna invite you actually, but you weren’t answering my texts,” he says it casually, but his face is serious.

It‘s nice of him to want to invite you to celebrate such a milestone in his life. Maybe you really are actual friends despite being shagmates. Now you feel bad for ignoring him because you felt strange around him lately.

“Um sorry. I didn’t know.” you apologize awkwardly while looking away. Your face lights up when you think of a way to make it up to him.

“Do you want anything in particular as a grad gift?”

“You can ask for that newly released game” Kenma quickly answers from across the room. You laugh when Kuroo makes a face.

“Hey. I’m the one she’s asking.”

Kenma returns to his seat and starts the game.

“Think about it while we play,” you say.

He doesn’t seem to be thinking though. While you’re racing with Kenma, Kuroo keeps on taunting you to beat Kenma. He abandons sitting and moves behind you.

“Left, left. GO LEFT!” With his hands on your shoulders, he nudges your upper body to the left as you swerve through a curve. You two are in sync in movement which adds to your excitement. You go through two nitrous while Kenma slips on a banana.

“Bye Kenmaaaa” you can’t help but egg him on. You’re grinning so hard your cheeks are starting to hurt. You’re almost at the finish line. Finally, you can beat Kenma at something on the first try.

“Haha! Good one, kitten.”

You go rigid. You glance at Kenma to see his reaction. He’s still focused on the game. Hopefully, he didn’t hear. When you return your eyes on the screen, you hit a shell. You slow down while Kenma gets back to being first. You do your best to catch up, but he’s already at the finish line.

“So close.” you groan in frustration. You could’ve won if Kuroo wasn’t such an idiot.

“Heh. My turn.”

“Don’t you need to be somewhere tonight?” Kenma asks Kuroo.

He looks at the time. “It’s way too early,” then he stills for a second before sitting beside you again.

“I know what I want y.n.” His smile tells you upfront that he’s up to something. You ready yourself for what it is.

“Come with me tonight.”

“Where? What for?”

“We have this batch graduation party at a hotel. We’re allowed a +1.”

“Uhh. Why me?”

“Cause you’re pretty.” Kenma says in a nonchalant manner.

“Not just pretty. You’re way hot. My batchmates will be jealous of me nyehahaha.” You just stare at his animated state of idiocy.

“Sorry about him y.n.” When you look at Kenma, he shares the same expression you have.

“Won’t you get bored if I’m there?”

“Nah. I planned to go alone before asking you.”

“Why not ask Kenma?”

“Pass.” Kenma says too quickly.

“That’s why.” Kuroo confirms.

“Don’t you want anything else? I can get you anything.” You try to negotiate something else that you can buy for him.

“That’s too easy for you. And I don’t really need anything.”

You exhale heavily while rubbing your face.

“Okay, sure.” You grumble.

“Yes!” He laughs maniacally.

To be honest, you’re a little uncomfortable about this. You’re sure people will think you’re dating. Ugh. Whatever. Since he asked for it as a gift, you’ll give it to him just this time.

“I’m thirsty. Does anyone want water?” Kuroo suddenly stands up and heads to the kitchen.

“I’m good,” you say while Kenma just shakes his head.

“So,” Kenma spoke as soon as Kuroo left the room. You turn to him.

“Kitten, huh?”

Your whole body tenses up. He heard it! You have no excuse this time. You feign innocence and smile so fake that it’s making you cringe. Kenma’s smarter than you thought. If he pulled this off before Kuroo asked you, you wouldn’t have agreed to it.

Wait. He’s also the one who reminded Kuroo of the event even though it’s still early in the afternoon. Did he do that deliberately because he knew Kuroo’s going to ask you in that instance?

Ugh.

You know that Kuroo is very perceptive, but Kenma’s just on a different level that it’s almost scary.

“I think I’m gonna get some water too.” You make your escape to the kitchen and give Kuroo some verbal beating.

–

Maybe he should’ve gone together with you. It’s been thirty minute since he got there. He’s even late, but he still hasn’t heard from you.

He takes out his phone to call you, but his thumb stops when he sees his outgoing calls history. It was mostly your number from the amount of times he’s called you from the past two weeks. They were all missed though. You never answered him.

Admittedly, he was worried when you were ignoring his texts and calls. That’s why you had to use Kenma’s phone to check up on you because he has no idea where you live.

Of course, neither of you is obligated to reply or show up to each other, but he does care more than a fuck buddy should. It wouldn’t hurt for you to take 5 seconds to reply to his texts. What bothered him the most is that maybe he went overboard with the teasing and pissed you off for real.

He’s glad that you seemed normal this afternoon. You were actually nice to have thought of giving him something for graduation. He didn’t think that you would. You even agreed to be his date tonight. He didn’t exactly phrase it that way earlier because you might feel off with the word ‘date’.

Instead of calling you, he sends a text message to know where you are.

Someone puts a hand on his shoulders. “Hey Kuroo. Are you with someone tonight?” It’s Reiji, a batchmate with the same major.

“Hell yeah I am.” The confidence in his voice makes Reiji curious. “Where is she?”

“Running late,” he answers thriftly. Reiji nods his head and looks around. Reiji suddenly stands up straight and shakes his arm violently.

“Someone brought a hottie. Look!” Reiji continues to shake his arm to urge him to look at said hottie. He doesn’t care though. He looks at his phone to see if you’ve replied.

“I swear, Kuroo. She looks like a freaking model.” The word ‘model’ didn’t go unheard. He instantly turns to the direction Reiji was looking.

Reiji is a fucking tool. You aren’t just hot. You look absolutely divine. You’re wearing a crimson dress that hugged your marvelous figure. It goes just above your knees, but there’s a knot on both sides that hitches the dress higher to show just the right amount of skin on your gorgeous thighs. It has flimsy straps that highlight your neck and shoulders.

The only time he saw you with makeup was the night you met, and that was only lipstick. Tonight, a glossy shade of peach is tinted on your lips. You’re wearing eyeliner that’s intricately drawn, giving your eyes that sultry look.

You’re also wearing heels which makes you stand out even more.

The most captivating of all is how you carry yourself. You are not overdressed in any way. The clothes are just right for the hotel setting. It’s the way you walk with finesse while occasionally glancing at corners that makes you look like royalty who’s checking on her subjects.

Others are also staring, but you don’t seem to notice or maybe you don’t mind at all.

Your eyes finally meet his. He suddenly feels nervous. He has all the cockiness, but he can’t muster any right now. You look down for a while and tuck your hair behind your ears. Then you give him a coy smile before you approach him. Ah fuck.

“What the- Did she just smile at you?!” His lips form a lopsided smile as his ego swells up. He pats Reiji twice. “Sorry dude. That hottie is with me.” He puts his hands on his pockets. He raises both eyebrows and gives Reiji a meaningful look before marching to meet you.

He puts a hand on your shoulder when you’re within reach. The stares that were previously on you are now shared between you two.

“You’re late,” he says in a hushed voice.

“Deliberately, of course. Now everyone knows the pretty girl is with you. Be a little thankful.” You respond in the same manner while giving him a pleasant smile for everyone to see.

You really are a sly one. His hand goes to your waist and leads you to his friends. He introduces you as a special friend of his. He gives them vague answers when they ask if you guys are dating. You ride with it. You don’t just nod when there’s a conversation. You actually join in it and keep up with what’s going on.

There’s a time when he had to leave you for a while because a professor from his department asked him about his plans after graduation. He doesn’t prolong the conversation because someone might hog you.

He excuses himself and finds you giggling with his batchmates. He smiles to himself. You really kept your end of the bargain. You aren’t just the hot chick, you also have wits to boot.

He goes back to your side. “Sorry folks, but I’m getting her back.”

“Whaat? Cmon.” He hears more grumbles of disagreement, but he doesn’t care. He wants you to himself now. You smile politely to them and bows your head. “Nice to meet you guys.”

“C’mon.” He guides you out of the hall. “Where are we going?”

“Just follow me.”

He goes in an elevator and presses the highest button.

“I have to say. I didn’t think you’d cooperate this well.”

You sneer at his indirect praise. “I’m an amazing trophy girl, aren’t I?”

He nods approvingly and claps slowly. “Brilliant honestly.”

You punch him playfully on the arm.

The elevator dings and reveals the rooftop. He lets you go first and follows. The floor is amazing. The lights are warm and there’s soft music playing in the background. The clear view of the city lights is the biggest attraction.

“Woooow,” the look of awe palpable on your eyes.

“Cool, right?” He asks, but you don’t answer. You just absorb the view in front of you. The breeze blows your hair gently, showing more of your profile.

“Don’t you want to sit? Your feet must hurt from those shoes.”

You shake your head. “Not really. I’m used to it. I’ve stood and walked in heels for long periods of time.”

“From work?”

“And family. I’m also their trophy girl sometimes.”

He looks for any hint of sadness but you say that as a matter of fact only. On the contrary, you look back at him with warmth in your eyes.

“Congratulations Kuroo.” The smile he sees is like the one he saw when he cooked for you. He’s a bit moved that you are truly happy for his achievement.

“Thank you.” He returns the sincerity.

You both enjoy the silence and the twinkling lights laid before you. The soft music in the background is the only sound audible presently.

“Come here.” He grabs you by your wrist and pulls you close. He puts your arms around his nape.

“What’re you doing?” You struggle a bit from his grip.

“My gift still hasn’t ended, right?” He outsmarts you, yet again. You blink twice and heave.

“You’re really milking this, aren’t you?”

He wraps his arms arounds your waist when you stop resisting. He starts swaying slowly, following the rhythm of the song. He revels in the feeling of your body pressed to him. The natural thing to do would be to whisk you away from here, take you to his place, and bang you wildly. But that’s not what he wants right now. This. This is enough for him for now. Having you this close gives him unspeakable contentment.

He lifts your chin with a finger so you’ll look at him. He returns his arm to your waist once you’ve locked eyes.

“You really look beautiful tonight.” He finally tells you. You’re too gorgeous not to let you know.

You blink twice at him with your mouth a few centimeters apart. The make-up doesn’t hide the subtle pink shade that suddenly glowed on your cheeks. Lovely. He won’t miss this opportunity.

He swiftly dips down just to stop with his lips a few inches from yours. He can feel you completely tensed. The breath you’re holding is apparent.

“Relax, y.n.” His one hand climbs to your back to caress it, ushering you to ease up. When you loosen up, he claims your lips. When you melt in his arms in complete surrender, it’s enthralling. The warmth of your mouth against his is too good for words. He can’t get enough. You open your mouth letting him slip in his tongue. He adores how you reciprocate with the same passion.

Your right hand travels from his nape to his chest. How this is still non-sexual is beyond him. He can kiss you like this all night.

The ring of laughter that echoed in the air breaks the enchanted bubble you two were just in. A group of people enters the floor. You get away from him hastily.

“We should go.” You tell him while avoiding his gaze. You make your way to the elevator without waiting for him. One of the girls who just came in lingers her eyes at your face. You ignore it and get in the elevator. Kuroo goes right after you.

When the elevator closes, you see your reflection. Your lipgloss was smudged all over. No wonder the girl was staring. You hurriedly get a napkin from your purse to wipe it off.

“Can I take my gift home?” You don’t know if it’s you or his voice lacks the regular egotism it has. You still steer clear of looking at him so you can’t see his face.

You still haven’t recovered. No one has kissed you like that. It was agonizingly delicate but ardent. It felt like drowning but floating at the same time. You can still feel your heart pounding at your chest.

You laugh timidly to shake it off. You need to get back to your cheeky self before he notices.

“Sorry, but the gift is getting tired.” You do your best to look normal when you finally face him.

“I’ll drive you home then.” You want to refuse, but it would be weird. You just told him you’re tired. It’d be obvious that you just want to get away from him.

You defeatedly give him your keys.

The ride to your place was spent in silence. You close your eyes to straighten your mind. It was nothing. That was just a regular make out session done in a very romantic setting. It’s probably completely normal for him, so it should be for you too.

“I’ll let you borrow the car so you don’t have to take a cab home.” You interrupt the stillness. “You don’t have to. It’s still early anyways.”

“Consider it a consolation since you can’t take the gift home.” You did it. You said something your usual self would.

“I’d rather take the gift itself, so no.” Damn it. Just when you thought you’ve regained your sass, he instantly shoots it down. You’re almost at your place.

“Holy shit. You live at Roppongi Hills?!” He says out of the blue. Oh right. You’ve never let him drive you home. You didn’t see the need for him to know where you live. You’re also wary of your privacy. You completely forgot about that because of what happened earlier.

“Parking is over there.”

He stops the engine when he finds a spot. You get out of your car immediately.

“Thanks for driving me home. Night.” You greet dryly.

“I want to see your place at least.”

“Buy why?” You whine in frustration. You just want to lie in bed and distract yourself from any thoughts about him.

“Oh y.n. You’ve been keeping me out since day 1. Now that we’re here, can’t you spare this unfortunate man a peek?” He laments dramatically.

His acting is so bad that your laugh echoed at the corners of the parking lot. God, his humor really gets you. You speak when you catch your breath, “A peek it is then, unfortunate man.” Finally, you feel the air between you two clear up.

He follows you when you go inside the building.

“Good evening, maam.” Ths security guard bows as he greets you.

“He’s with me,” referring to Kuroo. “Good evening, sir,” he greets Kuroo as well.

When you’re out of earshot, he says, “Sometimes I forget how ridiculously rich you are. Maybe I should start calling you milady or somethin.”

“Call me ‘Mistress,’ you lowly servant,” you say jokingly.

His eyebrow and the corner of his mouth both shoot up at the same time. “So you’re into that, huh?”

“I was kidding of course!”

“Let me stay and I’d serve you all night, y.n.”

The right response would be to ask him how he plans to serve you exactly. But you panic instead, the thought of even kissing him again makes you nervous like crazy. Crap, you’re really losing it. You pray that you aren’t blushing.

“Tough luck, Kuroo. I just want to lie down and do nothing for the night.” You bring the conversation back to normal before it escalates into something that involves you and him having any intimate contact.

When you get to your unit, you let him in. You keep the door open. You don’t want to be enclosed here with him in it. The last thing you need is him tainting your place. You don’t want to wake up and realize that he’s had his way with you on your own bed.

His eyes survey every corner, looking very impressed at the interior. “Daaamn. My place is shit compared to this.”

You check your phone. Five minutes from now, you’re kicking him out.

“You can get your water in the fridge if you want.” You mentally praise yourself for keeping the conversation light and breezy.

“Left or right?”

You sigh loudly. You make your way to your kitchen. Halfway through, you hear your door creak. Oh no. You hear it thud close.

“Say y.n., what should I do so I can stay here tonight?” Despite the huge space, you feel trapped. His eyes are intensely piercing on you. You gulp to clear the build-up of nerves that blocked your throat.

“Y-You just can’t.” How dare you stutter!

As he takes his steps to cross the distance between you, you grow even more fidgety. You want to step back, run away even. If he pulls off the same stunt on the rooftop earlier, you don’t know if you can hold back the unwanted feelings you’ve been disregarding recently. You’ve been pushing them at the back of your head, telling yourself excuses, and convincing yourself that it’s nothing. And until tonight, you were successful.

You don’t want to have feelings for Kuroo. You won’t be able to handle the complexity of the situation that would arise.

You waver when he gently strokes your cheek.

“Hey,” he says it so gently that your eyes reach for his, pulled in by the magnetism of his voice.

They hold the same mellow tenderness they had while ago. He’s never been like this with you. Only tonight.

Maybe he - no. You shouldn’t delude yourself like that. This can go very bad for you if you make a mistake. You’ll end up falling for someone who enjoys only the sex and company, nothing more. What you’ve been feeling since you left the hotel is fear. You’ve been repressing all these thoughts and they’ve built up to this situation. You are now in a sitch wherein you’re scared that if he makes his move, you’ll be too powerless to stop yourself.

He lowers his head, closing in inch by inch. Too close for comfort. His lips go past yours and lands on your cheek. It’s only a soft peck.

“I really liked your gift,” he says with authenticity, then lets you go.

He heads for the door. Your eyes absent-mindedly trail him as he exits.

“Good night, y.n” He winks and closes your door.

You go to your bed and sit. Your eyes are fixated at the wall while your brain tries to make out what just happened. You stuff your face in a pillow and squeal with frustration. Who are you kidding?

Kiss or no kiss, you fell for him.

Part 3 | Part 5 | m.list

#smut #fluff #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo x reader #kuroo tetsuro fluff #kuroo tetsuro x you #kuroo tetsurou #kuroo x female reader #kuroo smut #kuroo tetsuro x reader

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anobscurename · 4 years

Text

ocean eyes – chris evans

previous part: PART XI — masterlist

concept: a collection of happenings. the slowest of slow burns. there will be many more parts. an interview is misinterpreted, leading to some awkwardness.

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 1,8k

warnings: angst

author's note: i used the name "lily" in slight reference to lily james (no hate to her) but if you, as the reader, is named lily, feel free to use any other name as hers.

There was something to be said about LAX. Status was practically inconsequential in airports. Everyone was either jetlagged or trying to make their flight in time, and everyone had to wait in neatly organized lines. Sure, some moved faster than others, but it was nice to see that everyone was built the same when it came to airports.

You stood, patiently waiting in the collection area of the arrivals. As patiently as you could, practically bouncing on your heels in anticipation. You didn't know why you were there, really.

Well, you knew. You were there to surprise him.

They had wrapped filming the day before, and he had shot you a quick be home soon :) text last night. But you had never picked him up before, instead opting to stay in the comfort of the apartment with Dodger curled up beside you and a batch of "welcome home" cupcakes cooling, waiting to be iced. He'd find his way back by himself just fine every time, so why the sudden change?

Maybe it was the interview you had caught the night before.

It wasn't as if you'd actively sought it – your friend had sent you a link to it in the early morning hours, followed by a barrage of messages that had your nightstand practically quaking from the vibrations of your phone. Knowing she wouldn't let you be until you checked it out, you squinted to see the bright screen before lowering the brightness enough to let your eyes adjust. Cursing the persistence of your friend, you huffed out a sigh and tapped on the link she had highlighted in numerous exclamation points and a slew of unintelligible yet highly suggestive emojis.

It was him. Chris. The flutter your heart gave at the sight of him was a natural occurence at this point, so it was easy to ignore.

Dodger, whose head was resting heavily on your feet, immediately perked up at the sound of Chris' voice the second the YouTube clip began to play.

It was a snippet from a Jimmy interview – Fallon or Kimmel, your brain was too sluggish to comprehend – uploaded fairly recently. If two months was recent in the grand scheme of things.

"Great to be here again, Jimmy," you heard Chris say as you rubbed the bleariness from your eyes.

"Always a pleasure." Fallon. It was Fallon.

Dodger came crawling up to you, nose sniffing the air, trying to console the sound of Chris' voice without the scent of Chris himself. His wet nose pressed into your cheek and you whined in slight annoyance, giving him a slight nudge. "Down, Dodge. It's just an interview. See?"

You turned the phone to show him, and his ears deflated in understanding. You hid a chuckle, pulling him to you for a cuddle, and he dejectedly flopped down onto your shoulder, curling up beside you. "Don't worry, Dodge," you mumbled, placing a small kiss to the top of the boxer's head. "He'll be home tomorrow."

Chris had been gone longer and longer in recent months. You had returned from Vegas in silence, before, once again, everything was back to false normality. What Anthony had said to you still stuck: he was in the profession of pretense. So you allowed him his pretense, even if it pained you at the prospect of having hurt him.

He had disappeared for a few weeks after Vegas, doing PR – this clip must've been from that junket. He returned for a day, before he had left to shoot his new film for the longest time yet: two months, and counting. Dodger was inconsolable, misery evident in the droop of his ears.

It was strange... Even while filming, Chris had never left Dodger for so long. But you supposed you'd been hired for a reason, and filming must've taken some form of toll on him. Enough to not visit his bud.

You turned your attention back to the interview that had been playing throughout your interaction with the pup and willed yourself to focus.

"–anybody you've had your eye on? Anyone new in your life?"

Chris chuckled, looking down and shuffling in his seat. The question was centered around any romance happening in his life, and by the blush that threatened to creep from his already reddening ears to across his cheeks, you knew that he had been caught.

Caught for what, exactly... The interview now had your full attention, exhaustion exiting your body to be replaced by butterflies that felt as though they were travelling through your very bloodstream.

"Oh, man," he smiled lopsidedly. "Where do I even begin?"

He was trying to avoid the question really, and honestly, you understood why. The rumours that would be spread, you could already see the tabloid headlines the next day. You had to remind yourself that this was an old interview.

"Well, according to our producers, the female viewership on the show skyrockets by 48% everytime you're on, so you need to give me something here. Before they come at me with pitchforks," Fallon laughed.

"Well, there is one. We're close, practically living together, but... I don't know. I don't want to risk it, in case, you know... It ruins things. And that's what she's scared of, which I understand. I just hope she gives it a chance. Fingers crossed."

There was a collective "awww" from the audience and the interview very quickly moved on to publicity for his most recent film, but the blood that was suddenly rushing in your ears drowned it out.

Your breath stuttered, your heart hammered in your chest. Your cheeks ached from the smile that seemed to be stuck there, the moment he had told Fallon.

Some part of you scolded you for thinking that Chris was speaking of you, but it was just too coincidental. What he had said, it applied, right? It was applicable to your situation. Directly. There was room for error, but that was practically minuscule. Dodger shifted in his sleep, almost to punctuate your point.

All rational thought of your previous fears disintegrated with that near absolute admission of his feelings.

You tapped on the icon for messages, and typed out a quick response to your friend so she'd know you'd checked it out. It was a non-committal response, neither denying nor fully accepting what she was implying.

On a whim, you checked the text chain you had with Chris. It wasn't a particularly thrilling text chain, very short and quick replies from when he had a free moment on set, interlaced with heart meltingly adorable pics you managed to grab of Dodger. But upon a quick scroll back, one message caught your eye, dating back a week. One that you hadn't thought much of when you first received it, but that now held so much more meaning.

We wrap in a week, I have something to tell you when I get back

You had expected it to be another film role he'd been going for, or maybe a new Broadway show.

You'd let yourself dream, but never let yourself hope. There was too much at stake. First and foremost, he was your friend, and you'd do anything to not ruin it. Anything but kiss him.

But that night, you dreamed.

And that morning, you hoped.

Maybe that's what had you finding out his flight details from his agent, promising a non-life threatening surprise (he had heard about the incident with the baseball bat, and was more than relieved to hear that you were taking initiative in actively not breaking his client's face – as he reiterated a thousand times over "his face pays the rent! HIS FACE IS WORTH YOUR HOUSE!"), and maybe that's what had you stood there, stomach twisted in knots as you waited.

And then you saw him.

And you were simultaneously utterly calm yet filled with butterflies – a refreshing change from the dull ache you had come to grow accustomed to when looking at him.

What you did next surprised even you.

Breaking free from the rest of the eagerly waiting crowd, you sprinted to him and flung yourself into his arms. They wrapped around you, almost as if he was expecting it, expecting you. He lifted you up and spun you around, his laughter vibrating through his whole body and working its way into yours. Your legs wrapped around his waist as you clung to him, and he chuckled breathlessly in surprise.

"Hey, you," he smiled softly down at you when he'd set you on your feet.

"Hey yourself."

And then you noticed her. You had been so happy to see him, that you didn't see her at first. But now you did. You noticed the woman next to him – the one with her own suitcase, the one watching your display of affection with amusement, the one with a beautiful (in every sense of the word) smile etched on her perfect features.

"{Your name}, this is Lily." Chris slung an affectionate arm over Lily's shoulder, pulling her slightly closer to him. He was still smiling from your surprise greeting, but when he looked at her, the smile shifted into something else. Something more. Something that crushed the hope from your lungs. "My girlfriend."

He had said it himself, that night at Vulpecula: you can't compete where you don't compare, and the fact of the matter was, you simply could not begin to compare to a girlfriend. Particularly one such as Lily.

Pretending to be overwhelmingly happy came easy, if not a little forced, and maybe if they weren't so lovesick, they would have have noticed just how pathetic your attempt was. But they didn't notice, and so you threw your arms around Lily in an excited hug. We are in the profession of pretence, after all. "So lovely to meet you!"

You almost kicked yourself. It sounded nothing like you, your voice strained and pitched a little too high. Red flushed your cheeks, but they didn't notice.

"Lily, this is {your name}. My roommate."

Roommate. Ouch. Pretending it didn't hurt when he called you roommate, not even friend, came a little harder. Chris was the actor in your friendship, it was clear enough to see now.

"Welcome to our home," you managed to get out, voice still strangled. You quickly corrected yourself: "His home. His home that I live in when he's not home."

In an effort to busy yourself and extricate yourself from the growing one-sided awkwardness of the situation, you helped Lily with her bags, leading the couple to where the car was parked.

They regaled you along the way with how they met – living together in the same hotel, meeting in the bar downstairs one night, the park dates they took.

When you asked when, the answer had your hands clenching half moons into your palms, a wave of nausea crashing over you like an icy ocean wave. Two months. Two months, and suddenly, that interview made sense.

The entire drive home, you thanked your lucky stars that you hadn't done something stupid.

Something so incredibly stupid, like hoped.

#chris evans #chris evans/you #chris evans fanfic #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans/reader #chris evans angst #chrie evans fluff #dina writes #ocean eyes

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proudlylost · 3 years

Text

My 6+1 favorite SPN fics: AU

After the SPN finale I kinda got sucked back into the fandom. The excessive amount of fanfiction reading ensued (I re-read all of my SPN fic favorites and then some) and I realised I have actually read quite a lot of them. So I thought I could share them, to highlight all the talented authors there is and also to gather all of my favorites into the one place. This post contain my favorite AU fics, the SPN universe edition of this fic rec can be found here.

Ninety One Whiskey by komodobits

“In the spring of 1944, the 104th Medical Battalion of the United States Army is disbanded, and its men reassigned to various infantry companies in preparation for their invasion of occupied France. For First Lieutenant Novak, this is less than helpful, as he has so far met his platoon’s designated medic a grand total of twice, and has both times found Sergeant Winchester to be the optimum combination of reckless, arrogant, and downright insufferable so as to make cohesive platoon function near impossible. When the time comes to move out, however, Castiel has to reconcile himself to the fact that men are going to go down and trust that Dean Winchester may well be the only person who can put them back together again. WW2 ETO infantry AU. “

READ! THIS! Well, there is some really disturbing war related and time period related stuff, but if you can stomach that, read it! Along with the Angel’s Wild, this is my favorite fanfiction. This fic is heart wrenching and so, so good.The characterization is on point. Historical accuracy is on point. Slow burn is on point. Everything is just perfect. However, as I said, this fic is heavy stuff. There is some serious angst (I cried. I almost never cry when reading) and trauma. But there is glimmers of hope, even if sometimes it feels hopeless. Expected recovery time: at least two weeks. Word Count: 401,183. Explicit

Angel’s wild by LimonadeGaby and riseofthefallenone

“But that’s the whole reason he’s here, isn’t it? He’s not out here hunting Humans. He’s not even hunting deer, or bears, or anything else that featured in Bambi. He’s out here, freezing his nuts off every night, because he’s hunting Angels.

Sometimes Dean wishes that Angels were like how they’re described in the Bible. How people from time too old for him to care much about thought Angels were messengers and warriors of God, protectors of Humans. He knows that how they’re really described in the Bible is actually pretty terrifying, but at least they were told by God that they’re supposed to love Humans, right?

That’s a thousand times better than what Angels really turned out to be.”

This was first longer fic that I read from Supernatural fandom and I fell in love. So this is “the fic that got me into the fandom” but I have read it multiple times since and it is still very, very good. I love everything about this fic. It is very original and the lore is amazing. I love how Dean and Cas are both quite young (in Cas’s case, relatively speaking) and how their love develops (slow burn! <3) I love how Cas is described and I love how he communicates (unintentionally) with flowers. You can also read this without having any knowledge of supernatural series (like I did) which is always impressive for a fic. Wor count: 389, 271. Explicit

For All You Young Hockey Players Out There, Pay Attention by thursdaysfallenangel

“Dean Winchester knows two things about hockey, two things his dad made sure he knew. One, hockey is a guy’s sport, and two, hockey is family. Hockey meant Sam and Bobby and Benny and Victor and Gabriel and hell, his entire team. So when Victor gets traded, Russian-star-turned-new-teammate Castiel Krushnic becomes a threat. As much as Dean hates him for that, the longer he sticks around, the more he begins to threaten that first rule too. Dean’s been taught his whole life that those who play hockey should not be captivated by deep accented voices and the way a guy handles his stick, so how the hell is he supposed to justify what he’s starting to think about Cas? All Dean wanted at the beginning of the season was to win, and now all he wants to do is figure out how he feels about Cas and how to deal with it without ruining his career and tearing his family apart. “

Ah, three of my absolute favourite things smashed into the same fic: sports, slow burn and enemies to lovers. This fic has lots of cameos from supernatural characters, because hockey teams require lots of players. So it is easy to spot your favorite character in this fic. This fic is probably one of may favorites, because of the sport environment (Outside the fandom, I have been super into sports. Like so much I have several national championships medals from my sport. Anyway, not a point here): also the sexual tension between Dean and Cas is so good, especially when they are pumped with the adrenaline. You don’t really need to understand sports to enjoy this fic, though. Word count: 143,592. Explicit

Formula Won by cardinalwrites

“Of all the places Castiel Novak thought he would take in his career, an internship as a Formula One Paddock Correspondent (or journalist, for short) was most definitely not one of them for a few reasons. One: He had no clue what the hell Formula One was. Two: He knew nothing about sports in general. And Three: He should not fall in love with the people he’s supposed to be asking hard-hitting questions to, least of all the head driver of one of the oldest and most well-renowned teams in the sport’s history.

This is a love story told around the world through the eyes of the person that knows the least about where he has found himself in. Come follow a 20-race season finding love in the lost, learning the truth, and figuring out what the hell Formula One is along the way.”

Another sports fic with a slow burn. This is probably not everyone’s cup of tea, because there is quite a lot information about formula one, and the reading experience is more enjoyable if already know about formulas/do your research. Don’t let it stop you though, because this fic is very good. The friendship between Dean and Cas is very natural, and later the romance as well. The plot is very engaging and the drama inside the formula one organization is so good. This fic is also not so “heavy” as the other ones in my list (of course, there are problems along the way, but even the fic’s tags say there will be fluff). The rating is T, which is kinda surprising, because I did not notice it until I already had read the whole fic. Word count: 123,777. Teen

Have Love, Will Travel by squeemonster

Castiel Novak is a reclusive writer with a childhood so tragic it's left him terrified to leave his home—until his overbearing brother, Gabriel, drags him out for a night on the town full of booze and strip clubs, and he encounters Dean Winchester, a mesmerizing and mysterious stripper with secrets of his own. Both men find themselves inexplicably drawn to each other, and soon Dean's private dances for Castiel become much more, as both men confess their troubles and find solace in each other's company. But neither can seem to find the courage to take their relationship further than the intimacy of the club's VIP Room—and just when Dean's own brother gives him the excuse he needs to finally admit his feelings, Dean discovers something that brings it all crumbling down. Will they find a way past their demons and their trust issues, and back to each other?

This is one of the fandom classics and quite rightfully so. Both Dean and Cas have issues, in other words: what’s new? The sexual chemistry between them was so good and well written, but there is also angst and mental health issues (mostly Cas). Sam is quite young in this fic, but manages to be very much a little brother. I honestly loved this fic when I was a bit younger, but I think it is still very good and deserves its place in this list. Word count 94,054. Explicit

Pick It All Up by thepinupchemist

Army veteran Castiel Novak is a wreck after his tour in Afghanistan, brought home to his brother's apartment in Lawrence, Kansas with scars both mental and physical. He copes poorly, and during one night of bad decision making, meets somebody just as much of a disaster as he is -- a prostitute named Dean Winchester. And suddenly, two damaged men might not be as irreparable as they believed.

Ah, it seems that I’m incapable of picking nice, fluffy, happy fanfics. This certainly is not one of them. There is full warnings in the tags, because there is some triggering stuff: PTSD, mentions of past abuse, alcoholism etc. But, this is also very healing story in its own way (It has happy ending. I guess I can spoil that because it reads in the tags) . I avoided this fic for a long time, because the prostitute!Dean tag scared me away, but this was so worth of reading (as I said, happy ending)! Gabriel is super supportive and sweet brother and Dean and Cas are dysfunctional but they work so well despite all the trauma they have endured. Word count: 126,611. Explicit

Bonus: Twist and Shout by gabriel and standbyme

What begins as a transforming love between Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak in the summer of 1965 quickly derails into something far more tumultuous when Dean is drafted in the Vietnam War. Though the two both voice their relationship is one where saying goodbye is never a real truth, their story becomes fraught with the tragedy of circumstance. In an era where homosexuality was especially vulnerable, Twist and Shout is the story of the love transcending time, returning over and over in its many forms, as faithful as the sea.

Well, I don’t think this fic needs any introductions. This is the fic, the most popular in SPN fandom and one of the most popular ones in the whole ao3. I thought that I could read this, because I don’t generally have many triggers, despite all the warnings. I was a wreck during reading. And I have managed to read it once and I can’t make myself read it again. But it is good and amazingly written. This fic plucks every emotion out of you and does anything it pleases with them. You have been warned. Word count: 97,556. Explicit

(When I wrote this fic rec I also realised I have a serious problem with long fics. Like, most of my favorites are at least 100,000 words. At this point I think I don’t even consider a fic to be slow burn, unless it takes several days to complete the fic. Oops)

#supernatural fic rec #destiel fic rec #supernatural fanfiction #destiel fanfiction #destiel slow burn #supernatural #destiel

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untamedficrecs · 3 years

Note

hello! do you know if there are any fic abt jin ling's one month birthday where wwx turns up in koi tower like a fairy godmother or smth instead of being stopped on the way? or any like... politics heavy fic? idk why but I have a craving lol thank you for the hard work!

Hi! Wanna say sorry this took me so long to get too, I was planning on answering this sooner but some things came up. I tried my best to find something close to what you were looking for but I apologize in advance if they are not exactly it! I haven’t read all of these fics personally, so some of them might not have personal comments (and they might not actually be what you’re looking for ;;~;;), but here we go!! (sorry for how long this is gonna be!)

cradle by dragonesque

Rating: Teen & up | Canon Divergence | Status: Ongoing | Chapters: 32 | Word Count: 195979 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

☆ warning: graphic depictions of violence

Author’s Summary: After barely surviving the assassination attempt at QiongQi Path, Wei WuXian and the Wen Sect remnants are left to figure out how to protect themselves and their new lives. Meanwhile, the Jiang siblings and an unharmed Jin ZiXuan try to figure out who's bright idea was that stupid ambush. In Gusu, Lan Wangji panics at the idea of Wei WuXian's near death and tries to figure out whether to insist to stay by the Yiling Patriarch's side or hang back in the Cloud Recesses.

And Wei WuXian struggles with the idea of whether becoming a teacher, teaching demonic cultivation and setting up his own sect might not be a bad idea after all...

☆ personal comments: this is honestly one of my favorite fics...while it doesnt fit exactly the first thing you’re looking for (with him showing up/not being stopped...i mean he does show up...but he’s gotta plan some things out and recover before he shows up at koi tower); anyways there is definitely a lot of politics involved in this fic (from trying to form a new sect and an investigation going on with the wen remnants). i think you would enjoy it (or at least hope you will). I hope the author updates soon cause it has been a while, but its def long and will give you something to work through!

birthday party by waffles_4_breakfast

Rating: Explicit | Canon Divergence | Status: Ongoing | Chapters: 8 | Word Count: 25857 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

☆ warning: graphic depictions of violence

Author’s Summary: What if Jin Zixun didn't attack Wei Wuxian at Qiongqi Path and waited until the party to attack?

A fix-it fic where Wei Wuxian gets to attend the party and an entirely different cascade of events follow.

☆ personal comments: I definitely think this fic has a lot of potential with how it’s going. It’s pretty good so far, not really heavy on politics...I would say just a lot of sect drama almost?? (maybe that could still count as politics...but ya know) anyways def would recommend!

can you read the signs? by quiet_crash

Rating: Teen & up | Canon Divergence | One Shot | Status: Complete | Word Count: 5890 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

Author’s Summary: At Qiongqi Path, Wei Wuxian loses his patience. What he doesn't lose is Jin Ling's present. After all, he's going to meet his little nephew and no force in the world or beyond is going to stop him.

☆ personal comments: hmmm this one is probably the closest to the first part of your ask!! wwx does in fact show up to koi tower having not been attacked (or well he was attacked but it was de-escalated before bad things could happen!). its set up in kinda like little snapshots of his life almost so yeah, its pretty good!

after a thousand crisis, you still remain innocent by lil_apple (sugafree_agustd)

Rating: General | Canon Divergence | Status: Complete | Chapters: 3 | Word Count: 10583 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

Author’s Summary: Every tale has a start. Whether it was for better or worse.

Lan WangJi saved Wei WuXian from Qiongqi path, resulting Jin ZiXuan being alive and the cultivation world being aware of Jin Guangshan's lies. Wei WuXian witnessed Lan WangJi's punishment and went into seclusion with him.

This is the start of great redemption.

☆ personal comments: i really enjoy this fic...its more...hurt/comfort almost than anything else with sweet moments doused in there. politics are there but its not super heavy...but i figured i would recommend it just in case.

confessions of a drunkard by wei_ying

Rating: General | Canon Divergence | One Shot | Status: Complete | Word Count: 736 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

Author’s Summary: the yiling laozu is very drunk at a-ling's one month celebration. hilarity ensues.

☆ personal comments: this is just a super short cracky fic i feel like...it’s not really what you’re looking for but I figured I would drop it in here just cause. c:

twelve moons and a fortnight by stiltonbasket

Rating: General | Post Canon | Status: Ongoing | Chapters: 40 | Word Count: 207079 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

Author’s Summary: "Let me get this straight. You really want me to stand in for you while you help Jin Ling settle in at Koi Tower?"

"Who else do I have?" Jiang Cheng snaps, ears turning scarlet as Jin Ling tries to pretend he isn't listening. "Father trained you to serve as my deputy, didn't he? And don't say you don't remember, or I'll break your legs."

"Well, yes," Wei Wuxian manages. "Uh. I'll just let Lan Zhan know I'll be at Lotus Pier until you're back at home, then."

In which Wei Wuxian spends the year before his wedding as Yunmeng Jiang's acting sect leader, and the cultivation world's greatest love story finds its happy ending with the help of three juniors, a teenage romance, and one very involved (and exasperated) younger brother.

☆ comments: i haven’t read this fic yet, but i’m recommending it due to the tags...it’s not going to fit into your first category but i feel like it should fit into the politics heavy category...maybe...anyways this is on my own list to read so yeah

end of the bridge by shinocchi

Rating: Mature | Canon Divergence | Status: Ongoing | Chapters: 22 | Word Count: 170542 Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

Author’s Summary: Wei Wuxian was ready to walk his dark single-planked bridge all by himself until when that very resolution was shattered by Lan Wangji, who found out he'd lost his core, when they were in the midst of Sunshot Campaign.

☆ comments: ^^ same comments as the one above

magical marriage ribbons by starandrea

Series: 8 works | Word Count: 293,578 | Pairing: Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian

Description: Wei Ying and Lan Zhan somehow find time to be student sweethearts at Cloud Recesses, and it changes the course of the war. Mashup of novel, donghua, and drama, with a little manhua as a treat. Anything that wasn’t AU before Cloud Recesses is certainly AU after.

Happy fix-it with a little plot and a lot of Lan Zhan and Wei Ying being super cute together. Also some babies and animal transformation as the series goes on.

☆ personal comments: i haven’t read all of these works but there are some works in there that have a focus on politics (not heavily focused). they’re really fun to read so i figure i would recommend them anyways.

aftermath by kouriarashi

Rating: Teen & up | Canon Divergence | Status: Complete | Chapters: 12 | Word Count: 57682 Pairing(s): Jiang Yanli x Jin Zixuan, Lan Wangji x Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen x Meng Yao

Author’s Summary: Jiang Yanli lifted her eyes up to Madam Jin and said, calmly, as if from a hundred miles away, “I am a daughter of the Yu sect. Did he think my mother only taught me how to pour tea?”

Or: the AU in which Jin Guangshan targets Jiang Yanli and she kills him before he can ruin everything.

☆ comments: sooo this is another fic on my list to read...i read the first chapter tho...and it looks pretty good...again like the other 2 fics that i haven’t read personally i’m recommending this purely on the tags and hoping that it will fit what you want! i figured i would throw in something that wasn’t just wangxian focused...i mean a yanli focused fic seems pretty interesting so i’m excited to read it!

leave no hatred behind by joythea

Rating: Teen & up | Fix-it fic | Status: Complete | Chapters: 23 | Word Count: 121459

Author’s Summary: Jiang Yanli knows she was raised to be a wife and a good mother. But she knew she didn't need her cultivation to find and stop the man responsible for her precious disciple brother’s death and robbing her son of a father.

☆ comments: ^^ same comments as above

#answered #fic recs #mdzs #mdzs fic rec #wangxian fic rec #jiang yanli fic rec #there are def more politics heavy fics out there...i myself just haven't read them...or its been a while and id really have to dig #anyways if you would like anymore recs just let me know!!#a lot of these are long fics soo hopefully this will give you something to read for a while #also if anyone has any fics that might fit in the categories let me know please!!

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baekberrie · 4 years

Text

heal me - bbh

✨Genre: Romance, angst, fluff, hearing loss and outcast au (if that makes sense)

✨Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Everything surrounding you started seeping into brighter colors the first time you saw him.

It wasn't a particular day. The sun was hiding behind fluffy clouds painted in streaks of gray, the breeze fluttering the curtains by the big windows felt colder than it should have been in the mid of May. While the adorable daisies were eagerly starting to pop in the grass, it was hard to grasp the spring with such unstable weather. Your gaze was lost in the immensity of the sky, it was one of those days. Those days who blended in with the rest, those who were blurry whenever you tried to recall them- and you- you just existed, sitting by the desk in the classroom while people walked past you, sat in their seats and acknowledged each other. You were there and yet it felt as if you were just invisible. A sigh pushed past your lips as you mentally encouraged yourself. It was going to be another of these unbearable days, treated like you were absolutely nothing more than dust, but you knew you were going to make it until the end of the day, like always. While the sun was up, you allowed yourself to show only one expression, only when you were in the safety of your home would you finally let the loneliness overwhelm you. You let it take your breath away from your lungs and spill from the edge of your eyes, into small but infinite tears.

The ringing bell was just a distant sound while you tried your best to swallow the growing lump in your throat. Thinking about how lonely you felt would always end up in you hurting your own feelings. But for the first time, you didn't have to calm your own frantic heart, for when the teacher entered with a new student next to him you totally forgot about what was going through your head. It had been a while since a new face had entered this class. In fact, you had memorized everyone's face and names on the very first day, while you were sure that no one even remembered yours. The boy looked tall next to the teacher although his height was just average. Your heart skipped a beat, there was something that struck you when gazing at him. It wasn't his incredibly intriguing droopy eyes, nor the way his brown hair fell so beautifully down his face. And although you were taking notice of all of these things, it was neither the way his smiley-like lips pronounced his name or how his voice was the most melodic sound you'd ever heard.

"I'm Byun Baekhyun, please take care of me." He introduced himself shortly and you found yourself slightly flinching when his orbs pierced right into yours as he spoke. That, that was what struck you. You had never seen this boy before, and yet- as no one had ever done in many years, he hadn't looked just past you, right through you as if you weren't there. Instead, he had held your gaze while his serious expression had shifted into a gentle smile that you had never had directed to you and you just could not comprehend it, nothing of it- that someone had just acknowledged you, although in the most minimal of ways. It might be something completely irrelevant for anyone, but you couldn't just help the swelling heart inside of your chest, how it trembled so eagerly that you felt it rub against your ribs.

As if a sheet of paper splashed with watercolor, you felt yourself absorb its colors and slowly but surely you became a part of the world you were living in, and no longer a mere wallflower.

The second time you shared contact with him was a good amount of days later. You had to admit, his mere presence had made your life so much more interesting, it felt as if you had discovered a new book that you just knew you were going to love, and perhaps, you had become more eager to live it. Every morning you would wake up with anticipation buzzing through every inch of your body. It was a feeling that you couldn't help, nor did you know how to handle it, the curiosity that bloomed within you as if flowers in the wild. Were you being odd? It wasn't like you followed him around or anything of the sort. You contented yourself with stealing glances at him in class, and little did you use the excuse that he was answering the teacher to stare at him a little more freely.

It was lunch break for everyone, and just like any other day you were wandering in the gardens of the school while taking tiny bites of your only sandwich, trying to make it last longer although that didn't sit too well with your hungry stomach that wanted all of it right away. It was when you saw him sitting in your usual spot that you completely forgot about your empty stomach and the half-eaten bread in your hand. Baekhyun who was sitting on the grass underneath a tree with his eyes squinted to his notebook and his hand scribbling away while surrounded by small daisies looked like a beautiful photograph, and you would've taken one if you didn't stand religiously by privacy rules.

You did feel extremely timid but still fought against the feeling and willed yourself to take a step into his direction, and one more, one more, until you were standing behind him. You were to be surprised when you saw that he had actually been drawing. His hand moved incredibly skillfully across the paper as he quickly drew lines here and there, picturing the small flowers proudly peeking from the grass. Only when he extended his index finger to smudge the coal on his drawing did you notice the pretty shape of his nails and fingers, and for a short moment, you felt slightly jealous of his unfair beauty. It was strange that he hadn't noticed your presence behind him yet, and to be frank, you would have never imagined that you could ever be capable of speaking to a stranger first, but there was an urge in your chest. You really wanted to know the reason behind your sudden eagerness toward someone that had simply graced you with a smile.

You swallowed before crouching down so that your heights were the same, for a moment, all you could do was chew nervously on your lip.

"Your drawing is very pretty," You finally managed to breathe out and all you could make out for a moment was how your heartbeat echoed like loud drums in your ears. But soon enough it was confusion taking over when the boy did not budge the slightest. You frowned as the confusion morphed into slight hurt and thousands of doubtful thoughts clouded your mind. Perhaps you had been too hopeful to believe that a little smile had been more than a mere coincidence. He probably meant nothing with that, he was not the least interested in what you had to say. Teeth drilled into your lip as you stood up to leave, the embarrassment washed over you like a bucket of ice-cold water, crawling into your chest and you had to squeeze your eyes shut to try and lessen the feeling.

"Did you say something?" You immediately spun around with your eyes widening when Baekhyun suddenly called out to you, only to see him plug something into his ears. Hesitantly, you nodded, taking small steps closer to him.

"I said that your drawing is very pretty." You repeated while desperately trying to hide the insecurity in your trembling voice, crying inwardly for how your it cracked in the middle of your sentence. Baekhyun's questioning expression had like that one time, softened into a smile that made his eyes disappear into small, twinkling crescents as he muttered a shy thanks and rubbed his neck.

"I'm sorry if it seemed as if I was ignoring you, actually I..." The boy trailed, reaching out to his ear and picked the hearing aid off it, mustering it to you. A loud gasp left your lips and you couldn't be more ashamed for having assumed so many things about him without even knowing better.

"I have an extreme hearing loss, and well," He chuckled, "sometimes these things get uncomfortable so I take them off." He owed you no explanation, and yet there he was, being extremely friendly at the same time as extremely oblivious to the fact that you had in head your dragged him to the same corner of toxic people that were in your class. Regretfully, you imagined yourself dragging him out of that corner and apologized.

"Uh, no, actually I am sorry- I..." To your surprise, he laughed without even letting you finish your sentence. You had no idea what he found so funny, but the warmth in his voice felt like the sweetest medicine for your wounded heart. His chuckles faded into thin air and as soon as it was over, you found yourself wanting to hear more of it.

"Sorry for what?" He shook his head, "It's okay, it happened a long time ago, it's not a sensitive topic." he explained calmly, fearlessly keeping the eye contact. Compared to you, he wasn't scared to hold other people's gaze as he spoke.

" Do you want to see my drawing?" Baekhyun offered a closer look at his masterpiece and somehow, even if your legs were by now jelly, they held your weight as you took the remaining steps towards him and squatted down to see his art.

It was beautiful, but you couldn't help but think that his expression full of joy as he showed you was too, and more.

✨✨✨

If your life had been interesting in the first days of his arrival, right now, you believed it had turned into the most magical film- for one meeting with Baekhyun had turned into two, into three, until it became every day. At this point, you were sure nothing could ruin the happiness making your heart beat louder at the sole thought of spending your day next to him.

Underneath that big tree in the school's garden, was the place where the two of you would be together at every opportunity. The spring was bringing such lovely warmth and gentle breezes that caressed your skin in the most comforting of ways, it was a must to take part in it by sitting outside. Not many words were exchanged during those moments, and although you had grown so addicted to the sound of Baekhyun's soft and low voice, you didn't mind the peacefulness in the shared silence. In the end, you couldn't be more thankful to his sole company, sitting next to him like this was enough to curl your lips into a smile you had never known you were able to muster.

Baekhyun's back leaned against the tree just like yours, and you couldn't help but feel extremely aware of the fact that his shoulder and arm were pressed lightly against yours. But that wasn't merely it, you might have been a loner for a long time but you knew what physical contact was. You just couldn't understand the tingles taking place in your body, the extreme heat forming in that one spot where your arms brushed each other. Your favorite book was now aimlessly open in your hands as you couldn't recall when it had become so completely uninteresting. Little did you know, it was a certain someone stealing every single spotlight there was to claim. Like a sun drawing every sunflower to its brightness, he was.

The wind was softly fluttering his hair that was now a bit too long and would sometimes cover his chocolate eyes. Since both of you had opted for no talking, the boy had removed the hearing aids from his ears and let all of his concentration go to the new sketch that he had started. That was how it would usually go, Baekhyun sketched while you read your book. But this time, there was nothing you could do to hold back the extreme urge to look at him that was crawling underneath your skin. It was like his figure was magnetic and your eyes would restlessly pull to him no matter how hard you attempted to get a hold of yourself and stop staring.

At one point, you found yourself completely defeated as you leaned your cheek into your palm and succumbed to part of you that didn't want to do anything but observe him and his features that you had seen a million times by now. Though, multiple times you had been proved wrong. Baekhyun was like a painting and every time you'd look at him there would be something new for you to discover. This time there was another tiny mole on the side of his nose that entered the small constellation he already had.

While you were in a daze, Baekhyun had eventually felt your intense stare on him and so he turned slightly around to meet your gaze. As his questioning puppy eyes suddenly came into your view, you flinched back like a deer caught in headlights. Great. Couldn't you have been a little more obvious?

The boy cocked his head to the side questioningly, curiosity swam in his orbs and you could only cower underneath the intensity of his gaze. Biting your lips, you avoided his eyes and shook your head frantically, trying to dismiss the fact that he had caught you staring. The heart was crashing nervously against your ribs while cold sweat was prickling under your clothes. Heat gathered on your cheeks which did not go unnoticed by Baekhyun whose lips curled into a fond smile while his pretty hand reached out for your warm cheek. His fingers and gave it a short caress, his fingertips soft as feathers tracing your skin, making your blush turn from pink to scarlet as you froze completely in your spot.

"Liar," He whispered playfully.

Oh, how your heart was running ahead of you without giving you the chance to catch up.

✨✨✨

Pain.

A dazing pain traveled from your spine up to the back of your head after that someone had accidentally pushed you into the metal lockers. It ached, to the point of black spots appearing before your eyes. Your lips twitched at the pulsating sensation of bruises forming onto your skin while a groan pushed past your lips. Normally, you would have fled from the scene as quickly as possible, only to suffer alone in the school's bathroom. Though not a single muscle in your body induced you to run away as all you felt was a fit of overwhelming anger that heated the blood in your veins. Eyes searching for whoever had done such an unfair thing to you, a yell made its way from your throat.

"Hey! What the hell was that!?" You breathed out, nostrils flaring, "Can't you see I was walking here?" Sure, you knew you blended in with the crowd, to this day, you had never blamed anyone for bumping into you. But you were tired. So tired of it, of pretending to be fine with it. The person merely shrugged their shoulders while muttering a meaningless apology underneath their laugh.

The lump in your throat grew and your teeth drew blood from your lips when you suppressed the loud sob that threatened to erupt. It wasn't the fact that they had physically hurt you, but the completely unfair treatment that you could just not comprehend. How someone could be so repugnant to hurt someone they didn't even know and act as if nothing happened.

Only when you reached your favorite spot in the school's garden did you let the tears fall freely, knowing it would feel better to let them out than to let them burn behind your eyelids. You sniffed quietly while the cool breeze cut against the trails of salty water on your cheeks. After meeting Baekhyun you had thought that you were never going to feel like that ever again, but you were once again proved wrong. You got reminded that for Baekhyun you might be someone, but that did not make you any different from before in the eyes of others. The sigh that left your lips trembled along the shivers covering your body as the wind swept your hair behind your shoulders. Head buried in your knees and shut your eyes close, trying to find some comfort in yourself- but found only coldness, loneliness. You chuckled humorlessly by yourself, in the end, you were bound to be the same insignificant particle of dust they had made you out to be.

Rigidness made its way through your body when the faint noise of nearing footsteps reached your ears. A slender hand squeezing your shoulder made you look up from your previous position and your heart skipped a panicked beat at the sight of a concerned Baekhyun. You didn't know whether to feel relieved or uncomfortable that was witnessing you in such a state.

"B-baekhyun-" You stuttered while hurriedly drying your cheeks in a failed attempt to hide the fact that you had been crying. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you in the corridors earlier but you weren't in class, so I came looking for you." The boy explained softly, sensing how you were in a sensitive state. He sat down on the grass in front of you.

"But- you'll miss class,"

"It doesn't really matter right now," Baekhyun dismissed without even thinking twice and ran a gentle finger down your cheek, making you shiver. "What's wrong?" Baekhyun murmured soothingly while in his orbs pooled concern. You hesitated at first, but the warmth in Baekhyun's gaze made you melt and heal all at the same time.

With your gaze cast downwards on your hands that were clamped together, you sighed, "Sometimes I just feel like I'm nothing. Like nobody sees me. And I just-" your voice broke in the middle of your sentence. "I just feel so lonely." Tears gathered on the edge of your eyes, rendering your view blurry as you intensely stared holes into your hands.

"Hey," Came Baekhyun's soft whisper, Baekhyun's soft caress as his incredibly delicate yet warm palm cupped the side of your face. "Please look at me," He pleaded, "Look at me," he repeated weakly.

His hand gently led you to meet his eyes that were frantically searching for yours.

"You're here, and I see you. I always will." Baekhyun led you to rest against his sturdy chest and for a moment you felt your breath disappear inside of your throat at the sudden action. His words echoed into your mind while you couldn't help but note how this closeness was something so unfamiliar to you and yet something that you had never known you'd needed.

Slowly but surely, he was able to chase the reason for your tears away. It felt so surreal, how warm he was, all of him. His arms, his chest, his hands that rested on the back of your waist. They were all so scorching hot in the most inviting way possible and you felt yourself melt in his embrace. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, desperately trying to crash out of your ribcage and you were sure Baekhyun could feel it, for he started rocking your bodies ever so slowly. Soon enough you were able to calm down- because Baekhyun's heartbeat was right next to yours and its melody lulled you into calmness.

He was like medicine, like everything you had ever needed. He was a blessing and his soft voice murmuring words of comfort resembled such noise as of angels singing.

Maybe, after all, you weren't completely lonely. A faint smile graced your lips as you snuggled deeper into his embrace, no, you really were not lonely. Baekhyun might be the only person you had.

But if you had him, you also had everything.

✨✨✨

Classes had ended hours ago and by now most students had already gone home. Well, except for you and Baekhyun who had stayed after class to get an assignment done. You couldn't describe the fulfilling happiness and thankfulness that overwhelmed you every time you'd even just look at him. Day by day you felt yourself become happier, brighter, the better version of yourself you would have never reached if not for him. Inside of you was no longer coldness, nor darkness, but wines, leaves and colorful flowers blooming within every inch of your body.

You were happy.

The wind was remarkably stronger in the evening, but it felt even colder when leaning against the rooftop's railing, having it sweep against the frame of your face and fluttering your hair away into every direction. While you had been at it, Baekhyun had insisted for the two of you to look at the sunset. The sky had turned into every shade of pink and violet and it amazed you how even small streaks of orange had found their way into melting in the immense painting that was the sky. It was incredibly beautiful, but what was it, even more, was Baekhyun whose fair skin reflected every color of the sunset as if a canvas itself, whose twinkling eyes mirrored the melted clouds, and the crescent moon in the sky.

How your heart skipped every beat for him and him only.

Baekhyun's ears were free from the hearing aids, you noted, wondering if you were a coward for what you were about to do. Certain words were dancing on the tip of your tongue while your fingers nervously fidgeted with each other and heat gathered on your cheeks. Your lips parted and you mentally tried to calm your throbbing heart down. It was futile. It wasn't anything you could control, it was as if your voice had a mind of its own as your lips pronounced meaningful words. A part of you felt relieved because you didn't know if you were truly ready to have him hear these words. But what you did not know was that just like you had a while ago, Baekhyun had found you way more intriguing than the breathtaking scenery.

"I think I love you," You breathed out into the breeze, looking up to the sky once again. But your sightseeing did not last long when a pair of hands suddenly appeared on both sides of your face, making you gasp. Baekhyun's soft lips came eagerly crashing onto yours without any warning. You felt yourself almost suffocating, completely out of breath, and dazed by his incredibly sweet scent clouding your senses. The boy parted away from you for a few seconds, barely allowing you to process what had just happened before leaning in again, this time way gentler. Baekhyun gently guided your lips apart before settling his own between yours, locking them into a slow, lingering kiss. They were warm, soft but most of all, tasted like strawberries, and you found yourself melting completely.

His lips detached from yours with a fond grin resting upon his face while his mischievous puppy eyes crinkled into an adorable eye smile. Baekhyun's hand was absentmindedly playing with a few strands of your hair.

"I may have removed the hearing aids," he stated matter of factly, eyebrow quirking playfully, his hand that had been playing with your hair cupped your face again, the pad of his thumb brushed against your lips.

"But I can still read your lips."

✨✨✨✨✨✨

...hello everyone! Yep, so idk if you can tell, but this was a desperate and painful attempt of me trying to get comfortable with my writing again.

Do I want to delete this right away? Yes. Do I feel anxious about posting? Yes. Do I wanna cry? Also yes-

No, but I have no idea why I have been feeling this way. I haven't been able to write a single word without feeling awful and ew just bad about everything. I guess I'm just very afraid of being irrelevant and not being as good as I was before. sigh, I sound stupid don't I?

Well, I hope this wasn't a complete, boring failure and that at least you guys could enjoy it! Please do tell me what you think, give me feedback, where I'm lacking or even some advice to get back on track with the positive thoughts. It would be nice💕 Have the nicest day, lots of love and hope, P💕💖

sorry for errors!

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