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#but it also proves that this wasn't “always the plan” for them to be together
solar-wing · 20 days
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⚣ Dick: The Popular Kid 😉
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⚣😉 A/N → @swimmingpainterhandsfreak here you are! This is going to come in 3 parts, this one for Dick, and the next two for Jason and Conner separately. Every time I tried to do them all together, I kept getting stuck. They'll all be included in each other's in some fashion, but they'll still all have their own respective parts. Also, because I couldn't find it in my heart to do a fic where Y/N had to choose. Call me a wimp, IDC! Okay maybe just a little...either way, enjoy! WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI | Omegaverse | Courting Rituals | Highschool AU | Alpha Dick Grayson | Omega Male Reader | No one is a vigilante | Dick and Jason are not brothers | Dick is the stereotypical popular kid | Smut |
⚣😉 Summary → Dick, the most popular Alpha in school and one of the sweetest souls anyone will ever meet has his eyes on someone special. What's his plan?
⚣😉 Words → 7.0k
REBLOGS & replies are greatly appreciated, please! 💙
⚣ ENJOY 😉
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Dick Grayson? Everyone knows who Dick Grayson is.
Everyone where he went, people swooned and fawned over him like some graceful dignitary or even divine being had just crossed their paths. His charisma was magnetic, drawing others into his orbit effortlessly.
With a smile that could disarm the most skeptical and a charm that seemed to flow from him like a natural force, he moved through the corridors as if he owned them, yet always with a friendly word or a helping hand for those around him. He wasn't just admired; he was adored, a living legend among ordinary teenagers.
And yet, you’d never know it from how Dick acted around others.
Dick Grayson remained remarkably humble and grounded. Unlike many in his position, he never let the almost worshiping attention warp his character. His kindness knew no bounds, and his humility was genuine.
Despite being the adoptive son of Gotham's beloved billionaire, Bruce Wayne, and having access to all the privileges that came with it, Dick never flaunted his status or wealth. Instead, he used his influence for good, often volunteering his time to help those less fortunate in Gotham City.
His actions spoke volumes, proving that true greatness lies not in the accolades one receives but in the way one treats others. In a world where fame and fortune often breed arrogance and entitlement, Dick Grayson stood out as a shining example of grace and compassion.
Bruce was the “Billionaire Playboy,” and Dick was subsequently deemed as “Gotham’s Prince Charming.”
And every prince needed someone to share their kingdom with; Dick Grayson was no exception.
Which is why Gotham’s most prestigious high school and its student population were positively abuzz with excitement at the rumors flying around that Dick was planning to court someone. While many had their own ideas (most being hopes that Dick would choose them), mostly everyone had one certain candidate in mind that had beseeched their heart of their school’s Prince Charming.
“Bitch, are you blind? Have you not seen how hot Y/N and Dick look together?” Sasha replied.
“OMG, yeeess! Like seriously, imagine how cute their kids would be. And Dick would probably be like the world’s best dad.” Manny screeched.
“Fuck all that. Y/N needs to give a real Alpha a chance.” Kevin proclaimed, puffing his chest out.
Everyone at the lunch table eyed the athlete while trying to hold back their chuckles, “Dude, no offense. But, you’ve got nothing on Dick. I wonder how Jason and Conner are gonna react.”
“Well, the four of them have been best friends since what, like the 1st grade? I’m sure they’ll be fine with it,” Ethan said bored, scrolling through his social media feed on his phone before coming across an interesting post, “Oh, would you look at that, Dick proposed to Y/N.”
“WHAT?!” Everyone collectively screamed at the table before Ethan’s phone was snatched out of his hand so they could all see.
“Rude,” The beta scoffed.
Dick had known Y/N practically since diapers after Bruce adopted him when his parents were caught in a fatal accident. The Omega’s parents, specifically his dad, had been classmates and friends with the billionaire.
From the early days of their childhood, they went from being adolescents who were thrown in the playpen together while their parents hung out and caught up, to being thick as thieves, joined at the hip, and now serving as constant headaches for the adults. They shared everything from toys and snacks to hopes and dreams, their laughter echoing through the halls of Wayne Manor as they embarked on countless adventures together.
Their parents often liked to joke that the two of them together were like two halves of one brain cell. Which, if you knew the two, it was nothing but the truth. Even worse when their other buddies Conner Kent and Jason Todd were involved, all four growing up with each other and causing massive chaos when together.
But, for Dick and Y/N, their bond had been special since day one.
From the earliest days of their childhood, Dick and Y/N had been inseparable. Under their parents' watchful eye, they had grown up side by side, learning and exploring the world around them with the curiosity and wonderment of youth.
As they navigated the trials and tribulations of adolescence, their friendship had only deepened, strengthened by the trials they faced together. Whether it was navigating the complexities of high school or grappling with the weight of their respective legacies, they had always found solace and support in each other's company.
In Dick, Y/N found not just a friend, but a pillar of strength, someone to lean on when he felt like he couldn’t stand so strong on his own. Dick's unwavering presence provided a sense of security and stability in a world filled with uncertainty. His caring sensibility and compassionate nature offered solace in times of need, a comforting reminder that no matter what challenges they faced, they would never have to weather them alone.
When they both reached the age of puberty where their second biological statuses would present themselves, their friendship remained steadfast and strong. As Y/N's presentation as an Omega became apparent, the dynamics of their friendship did shift subtly yet significantly added more depth to their relationship.
When there were sudden whispers and sideways glances, a subtle unease had settled in the newly presented Omega, shaking his confidence that had been strong up until then. For Y/N, the change was both bewildering and overwhelming, as he grappled with the newfound scrutiny and expectations that came with his new biological status.
But amidst the uncertainty and the whispers, there was one constant: Dick Grayson. From the moment Y/N's presentation became known, Dick was there, unwavering in his support and resolute in his loyalty. He stood by Y/N's side, a steadfast presence in the face of adversity, offering a shoulder to lean on and a voice of reason in moments of doubt.
When the bullies came, as they inevitably did, it was Dick who stood between them and Y/N, his protective instincts kicking into overdrive. With his new Alpha status and ever-growing popularity standing because of it, the bullying attempts were short-lived since none of their classmates wanted to commit what they considered social suicide by getting on the son of Gotham’s most beloved billionaire’s bad side.
Which, Y/N definitely considered them smart for it. Because, while Dick was always kind and pleasant to everyone, he was never a pushover and would always defend those he cared for with striking resilience.
Emphasis on the ‘striking’ part. Bruce had Dick put in self-defense lessons from the moment he could walk. An unspoken necessity considering the lives they lived.
But perhaps more than his physical prowess, it was Dick's words that offered the greatest solace to Y/N. In moments of doubt and insecurity, when the weight of expectations threatened to overwhelm him, Dick was there, reminding him that there was more to him than any title, rule, or expectation someone placed on him because of his status.
He‘d always repeat how he was strong and capable and that he didn't need the validation of others to prove his worth. And that he’d never know just how much he’d mean to others, especially the Alpha himself.
In Y/N, Dick found not just a friend, but a soulmate—a partner whose presence brought a sense of completeness to his life. As they navigated the complexities of adolescence and the challenges of growing up, Y/N became more than just a confidant; he became a source of emotional support and unwavering understanding.
When Dick grappled with the weight of his past, mourning the loss of his parents and struggling to find his place in the world, it was Y/N who offered a shoulder to lean on and a sympathetic ear to listen. With quiet strength and boundless compassion, Y/N stood by Dick's side through every tear shed and every heartache endured, providing a sense of solace and comfort that no one else could.
But Y/N offered more than just emotional support; he offered clarity and perspective in moments of confusion and doubt. With an intuitive understanding of Dick's innermost thoughts and feelings, Y/N helped him navigate the murky waters of identity and self-discovery, guiding him toward a greater sense of who he truly was.
And while Dick may have been the Alpha in their friendship, it was Y/N who kept him on his toes, challenging him to be better, to do better, in every aspect of his life. Whether it was pushing him to excel academically, encouraging him to pursue his passions, or gently nudging him towards self-improvement, Y/N was always there, helping Dick fill in wherever he was slacking and encouraging him to reach new heights.
But amidst the laughter and the shared moments of joy, there lingered an undeniable tension—a spark of something deeper and more profound. It was a connection that transcended friendship, a bond that spoke of unspoken desires and unfulfilled yearnings. In Y/N, Dick found a kindred spirit, a partner in crime, and perhaps, if fate allowed, something more.
Their relationship was a dance of longing and restraint, a delicate balance of affection and restraint that left them both yearning for more. And as they stood on the precipice of adulthood, their futures intertwined in ways they could never have imagined, Dick couldn't help but wonder if perhaps, just perhaps, Y/N was more than just a friend—he was the missing piece of the puzzle, the one who completed him in ways he never thought possible.
While he may have been too young to really understand everything he was feeling, he knew he didn’t want the chance of him never getting to learn more about it ever become a reality.
So, Dick went to his dad, to ask him how he could properly court his friend. Of course, Bruce, being the observant one who always liked to play detective as his friends and colleagues would point out, was not surprised at his son's request.
Truthfully, he was waiting for the day when Dick and Y/N got together and even had a little wager going on with the Omega's parents. Speaking of which,  he'd won, making sure to have Alfred remind him to collect his winnings from the L/N's when all this was said and done.
Actually, he figured why not collect his winnings as soon as possible. Being a bit of a traditionalist, something he got from his own father, Bruce advised his son the best first thing for him to do was to get Y/N's parents' blessing before he committed to anything else.
So, while Y/N was busy hanging out with some friends for an after-school club, Dick and Bruce made their way over to the L/N residence, where the billionaire smugly watched his son ask the two males if he could court their son. Of course, they gave their blessings with joy, but they didn't miss the subtle smirk on their friend's face as Y/N's dad went to grab his wallet.
Bruce took Dick to the stores to find Y/N a special gift, something that would symbolize his commitment and devotion to his feelings towards the Omega, but would also be an accurate representation of them. The younger male was torn between the many options, unsure of what would be the best choice.
When his eyes landed on a shining, silver chain with a sapphire pendant cut into the shape of a bird, Dick knew this was the one. He made sure to wear it for about a week, using his favorite colognes frequently so it was covered in his scent.
Then, right before lunch, he'd presented the gift to the Omega in the hallway of their school with many of their classmates as witnesses.
"What's this?" Y/N asked, looking down at the velvet box Dick had handed him.
"Remember that history project we had for Mr. Kari's class, and you chose to do one on the ancient Kryptonian society and all its mythological lessons," Dick explained, smiling softly as the memories flooded back.
"I remember."
"Well, I happened to be out shopping the other day–"
"Uh huh, I'll choose to believe that,'" Y/N eyed him suspiciously, making the Alpha chuckle.
"And, I saw this necklace," Dick continued, taking the box from the Omega's hand and opening it.
When the male caught sight of the jewel inside, his breath hitched, unable to take his eyes off the shimmering blue gem.
"It reminded me of your research on the mythological lore of the two birds," Dick explained, pulling the necklace from its cushion, "Flamebird and–"
"Nightwing," Y/N finished his voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah," Dick smiled, "I guess the jeweler was a fan of the story. But, I remember you talking about their relationship, how they fell in love and were mates, destined to always be reborn and find each other, and it made me think of us, and how I don't ever want to think of life without you."
Take notes folks. Dude's got game.
"Y/N, will you accept this token and allow me the honor to court you, with the hope of becoming your Nightwing?"
Dick knew the Omega was going to later berate him and possibly hit him over the head with a pillow or something for making him cry at school. He liked to refer to himself as an emotional thug, something Jason accurately always called bullshit on.
"You're lucky you're cute you jerk," Y/N sniffled, hugging the Alpha tightly, "Of course, I will."
"Thank you, beautiful," Dick whispered, hugging the male back, ignoring the whistles and cheers of their classmates.
Y/N turned so his back was facing the Alpha, allowing him to clasp the necklace around his neck, the jewel resting near his heart. Dick smiled, wrapping his arms around the male and nuzzling his nose against the other's neck.
"Ugh, I'm calling it. They're so gonna get married and have a bunch of model babies." Manny gushed.
"I can't believe Y/N didn't realize sooner Dick was into him. How oblivious can you be?" Sasha asked.
"He's an Omega. It's a blessing and a curse. Blessing because they're usually the most beautiful and have the best genes. Curse because they're the most clueless and naive. If an Alpha wants to fuck, they're the easiest to seduce." Kevin replied.
"You're a pig. You're lucky no one has tried to castrate you yet." Ethan deadpanned.
"I'm not wrong."
"Still a pig, and you definitely are," Kara replied.
"Whatever. I still think Dick is a weak choice of an Alpha—"
"You're just mad because Y/N didn't go with you to homecoming."
"I'm not—shut up, Ethan! All I'm saying is that Dick is not the ideal choice for someone like Y/N. He needs an Alpha who's strong, can put him in his place when needed, and doesn't put up with his shit. Not a rich pretty boy who's spineless and soft. I'd even say Conner would be a better choice for him, not before myself though," Kevin stated, puffing his chest out a bit.
"Yeah, uh huh. Whatever helps you sleep at night, babes," Manny said, rolling his eyes.
"Just wait and see. When this ends in disaster, and Y/N realizes Dick can't protect or provide for him like a true Alpha can, he'll come running straight into my arms," Kevin said confidently, smirking.
"Maybe this is why you never get invited to Dick's parties anymore and always have to count on getting in with the rest of the football team," Kara mocked.
Kevin rolled his eyes, "Whatever I'm telling you, it's only a matter of time. Yeah, Dick's cool and nice and all that, but that's only going to get him so far. Plus, all the expensive gifts in the world don't compare to the value of a real Alpha," Kevin said while flexing his arms under his varsity jacket.
"Yeah, a real Alpha like you?" Sasha snickered.
"Exactly," Kevin smirked.
"Uh huh, sure. Keep dreaming, sweetie," Manny laughed.
He along with many others would indeed have to keep dreaming. Dick Grayson was not one to do things halfway.
The teen Alpha spared no expense when courting Y/N, taking him on extravagant dates, and spoiling him with lavish gifts. Of course, much of this was being spent on Bruce's coin, but the billionaire didn't mind if it meant he got to see his son happy.
Y/N also knew how Dick was the perfect gentleman (having an English butler who knew everything about being prim and proper helped a lot), but what he was seeing from the Alpha now was a completely different level of chivalry.
He was pulling out the chair for him if he wasn't opening the door for him or offering his coat. If he wasn't paying for the food or dessert, he was giving him his own. If he wasn't helping him into the car, he was holding his hand and making sure his seat belt was fastened.
Y/N was practically never allowed to pay for anything while in Dick's presence, or even in moments when he wasn't. When Y/N accidentally shattered his phone, his parents didn't even need to call the store to order a replacement cause Dick had gone ahead and ordered Y/N the latest new phone.
Dick wasn't just spending Bruce's money willy-nilly. Since Y/N accepted his courting date, Dick got a job just so he could use that extra money to spend on Y/N. Bruce just tended to fund the really expensive dates and gestures.
It gets to a point where Y/N has to think about his words carefully around the Alpha because, within a span of twenty to thirty minutes, it would be presented to him with a bright, adorable smile that made it impossible to be mad at him. The Omega was craving Wendys for lunch and without thinking about it said it out loud. On his way to lunch with a couple of friends, he was confused because Dick wasn't with him since they always walked together from lunch.
But, his sudden disappearance was immediately explained when after arriving at the cafeteria, he turned to see Dick walking in with bags from Wendys.
"Really?" Y/N eyed him with an amused raised brow as the Alpha set the food and drinks on the table.
"What?" Dick responded, an innocent look on his face.
That became more of their routine, even in situations where money was not involved. If Y/N wanted something, he wouldn't need to say a word, and Dick would do it.
One of Y/N's favorite things in the world was Alfred's baking, especially his cookies. On days when the Omega was feeling up to it or was just down in the dumps about something, Dick would surprise him with the cookies. Of course, he was paying for the ingredients and materials and just having Alfred do the baking, but Y/N didn't need to know that.
Sometimes, Y/N would get into a depressive funk about something and would start forgetting to take care of himself. His parents knew how to handle it, but nowadays, they just called Dick, and in under an hour, the Alpha was at their house helping Y/N get back on his feet. Helping him clean his room, organize things around him, and get himself back on track.
If you thought they were inseparable before, well, that was nothing compared to now.
Dick and Y/N were practically joined at the hip, always together, and always touching. Holding hands, shoulders, thighs, waist, etc.
And just as much as there was a slight change in Dick's behavior (in a positive manner of speaking), in how he treated the Omega, there was also a slight shift in his attitude towards others when it came to him as well. It wasn't obvious at first, but to those who paid attention or knew more about them, many could also see how much more protective Dick had grown of Y/N.
Don't be misled, Dick never lost his friendly and kind attitude with others. But, it was easy to see the Alpha tended to become a bit more on guard when with the Omega and they weren't solely around family like their parents or Conner and Jason.
Dick was always at Y/N's side or close by, ready to jump in at a moment's notice if he noticed even the slightest hesitation or uncomfortableness from his Omega. Which, no one would actively fault the Alpha for it, knowing it was typical for Alphas to become a bit more territorial and protective in any matter regarding the Omega they were courting.
And it didn't help that their school was full of prideful, jealous, and horny Alphas along with envious Betas and bitter Omegas. Even more considering they were all hormonal teenagers as well.
When it comes to a courting ritual, there is no greater challenge than competing with other potential suitors.
Since Dick currently held the title of one the most popular Alphas in school, if not the most popular one, mostly every Omega and a significant number of Betas wanted him as their boyfriend. But, since his eyes were on Y/N, that made the Omega in question the recipient of many fake, cheery smiles tinged with jealousy and obvious, hateful glares.
Which, to be honest, he didn't know which one unsettled him more.
On the other end, there were no shortages of Alphas and would-be suitors who saw and wanted Y/N as their mate. And with Dick suddenly courting the Omega, he'd pretty much made himself an open target, even if the majority of them were smart enough to know the consequences.
Dick didn't blame them, of course. Even though he always thought of his Omega as attractive, handsome, beautiful, and every other adjective in a thesaurus, he could clearly see how much Y/N had grown into himself since their early years as teenagers.
Y/N went from being one of the many everyone picked on and pushed around, to being one of the few most sought-after Omegas in the entire school. While puberty could be the literal curse of inconvenience and interruption, there was no arguing that it had its benefits as well.
And many would attest to those benefits personally. Not too much though since they knew Dick was a black belt in martial arts. But, there were always those who thought of themselves as untouchable and would try to test the waters, not realizing the depth of the ocean they were about to dive into.
"Oh, hey, Y/N. You're looking pretty hot today. Maybe we should hang out later. Grab some food or something," An Alpha said, leaning against his locker, his arm blocking his exit.
"Uh, thanks, but no thanks, Mike," Y/N politely declined, trying to pass the guy's arm, but the Alpha wouldn't budge.
"Aw, c'mon, baby. Don't be like that. You know, I could show you a good time. Better than what you've ever experienced. I could treat you right," The male purred, leaning in closer.
"I'm sure you could, but I'm not interested, sorry. Now, if you would excuse me, I have class," Y/N said, trying once again to push the other away.
"Why are you playing hard to get, huh? We both know that's not who you are, baby," Mike replied, grabbing the Omega's wrist and pushing him against the lockers.
"I said, 'no,'" Y/N glared, pushing the guy off him, "So, leave me alone."
"Aww, don't be like that. Come on, let's go have some fun, baby," Mike smirked, pulling the Omega into him.
"Mike, stop," Y/N said, struggling in his grip.
"Excuse me."
Both turned to see Dick, the Alpha's gaze sharp, and his fists clenched tightly at his sides.
"Dick! Hey, man. What's up?" Mike greeted, letting go of the Omega.
"Not much, just getting my books for next period out of my boyfriend's locker," Dick answered, moving to stand beside Y/N, putting a protective arm around his shoulder, "How about you?"
"Oh, uh, nothing much. Just hanging out. I was actually going to head to the library, so I'll see you later," The male tried to quickly excuse himself, only to turn and bump into Conner and Jason who were both standing there with their arms crossed, glaring at him.
"Going somewhere, Mike?" Conner asked, stepping forward.
"Yeah, man. Why the rush? You didn't seem like you were in a hurry a few minutes ago," Jason added, taking his place beside the other.
"No, no. I was just heading to the library. Need to catch up on some studying but uh, I'll catch you guys later," Mike said, but was once again stopped by the two Alphas.
"Why don't we walk with you? Make sure you make it there safely. It's the least we can do, right?" Jason said, a nervous look painted on the other's face.
"You wouldn't mind, would you?" Conner asked, an almost sinister smile on his lips.
"No, no. Of course not," Mike sighed, defeated.
"Well, then. Lead the way," Jason said, motioning for the guy to continue, watching him as he walked away.
"You're coming with us, right, Dickie?" Jason asked, a mischievous gleam in his eye.
"Yeah, I can't let you two have all the fun," Dick smirked, before turning to Y/N, "Mind taking both our books to class, babe? I'll be there in a few minutes."
"Of course not," Y/N nodded, giving the three a small wave as they turned the corner.
The Omega sighed, shaking his head, "Bunch of idiots," He said fondly, walking to his next class.
No one was surprised when Mike turned up at school the next day sporting a black eye and plenty of bruises to match. The three Alphas would deny anything, but everyone could guess what happened.
"Still think Dick can't protect or provide like a real Alpha," Manny asked Kevin with a mocking attitude after they heard about the incident with Mike.
"Shut up, dude," Kevin glared, grumbling.
Dick would continue his courting, making sure to put the fear of God into any other Alpha who dared to lay a hand on his Omega. He was determined to prove his worth, not just to the Omega, but also to anyone else who doubted him.
After everything the Alpha had done, Y/N couldn't imagine anyone else better for him. Sure, Dick wasn't a traditional, stereotypical, and cliche Alpha. He was more on the reserved and kinder side of the spectrum.
But, that's what made him special. He was someone who could make you laugh, even on your worst days, and could comfort you without needing to say a word. When he wasn't the class clown, he was the one everyone could count on and rely on.
His patience was endless, his kindness boundless, and his loyalty unwavering. And, not to forget, the dude was super fucking hot.
Just as much as Y/N was emotionally and mentally attracted to Dick, not that he was looking at the Alpha in a different line since the beginning of this courting ritual, the physical attraction he felt was almost overwhelming.
Dick may not have been on any sports teams, but he might as well have been, cause the dude was fucking ripped. He had abs for days and a backside and thighs to die for. Not to mention, the muscles in his arms.
Y/N could feel himself salivate whenever he had the pleasure of seeing the Alpha undressed and was very lucky no one had ever seen him drooling over his best friend. And the same went for Dick, who'd always been attracted to Y/N but only had just recently started acting on those feelings.
And what did you get when you had two hormonal, in-love teenagers?
Two horny fuckers who couldn't keep their hands to themselves.
"We're going to be late," Y/N said, panting against the door of the janitor's closet they were in, his shirt discarded and pants unbuckled with Dick kneeling on the floor in front of him enjoying himself immensely on the Omega's arousal.
"Don't care," Dick murmured, the vibrations sending a jolt of pleasure through the younger's body.
"Someone's gonna find us," Y/N moaned, gripping the Alpha's hair tightly.
"They won't," Dick hummed, his tongue swirling around as he continued his erotic ministrations.
"Fuck," Y/N whimpered, his hips bucking forward.
"Any louder and you'll be the ones who get us caught," Dick teased, pressing a finger toward the Omega's slicked hole which pushed them over the edge.
"I hate you," Y/N panted, leaning his head against the door, his eyes closed as he tried to calm his racing heart.
"No, you don't. You love me," Dick smiled, the area around his mouth shiny with Y/N's arousal and cum as he stood up and pressed a kiss against the Omega's cheek.
"Ew! Dick, gross," Y/N whined, wiping and cheek and pushing the Alpha back.
"What? It came from your body! That's basically kissing you," Dick chuckled, fixing his clothes.
"That's not how it works and you know it. You're disgusting. I'm not doing this with you anymore," Y/N stated, cleaning himself up.
That was a lie.
Y/N found himself in a role-reversal situation as he was on his knees, forcing the Alpha against the wall while bobbing his head up and down on the Alpha's cock with unforgiving energy.
"Fuck, baby. She was only giving me her notes for the physics exam," Dick groaned, his hand fisting the Omega's hair.
"I'm sure," Y/N growled, his teeth lightly scraping along the length, his mouth still working, "That's probably why she was trying to scent mark you too, right?"
"She wasn't–shit, babe. Fucking hell, that's it. Right there," Dick moaned, his hips thrusting forward.
"Wasn't what? Going to try and get you to knot her in the bathroom stall after the test? Cause, I'm pretty sure that's what her plan was, right?" Y/N seethed, his hand pumping the Alpha's shaft, his tongue flicking the slit.
"Geez, who knew you could get so jealous," Dick chuckled, his breathing ragged.
"Shut the fuck up. Don't think I won't bite this thing off," Y/N threatened, his teeth lightly scraping the flesh.
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. But, you don't have to worry, alright? There's no one else but you, Y/N. No matter how many Omegas try and throw themselves at me, my eyes will always be on you. Only you," Dick promised, caressing the other's cheek.
Y/N only gave him a look before his mouth was engulfing the Alpha's cock, sucking and licking the throbbing appendage while squeezing at the base to prevent him from cumming.
"Fucking hell, baby. I'm sorry, okay. I won't talk to her again. Promise," Dick whimpered, his orgasm feeling like he was going to collapse if he didn't cum down the Omega's throat soon.
"Damn right, you won't. This here belongs to me. Understand?" Y/N stated his tone firm and commanding while gripping the hard cock in his hand harder for emphasis.
"Yes. Shit, yes. Please, Y/N," Dick begged, his legs starting to shake.
"Who's is it, Dickie?"
"Yours,"
"Who's the only one who gets to taste, touch, or smell this?"
"Only you,"
"Good," Y/N purred, his tongue running to the shaft and its leaking head.
"Oh my god," Dick moaned, his breath coming out in heavy pants.
"You're all mine, Dick Grayson," Y/N declared, his lips wrapping around the swollen head, sucking and licking the precum.
"Yours. All yours, beautiful. Only you," Dick whimpered, his hips rocking gently, his eyes rolling back as he came into the Omega's mouth.
Y/N greedily swallowed, his hands moving to squeeze and massage the Alpha's balls, milking him dry. Dick stared down at the sight of the Omega with his cock still inside his mouth, the male's cheeks hollowed out as he sucked.
"Tastes so good," Y/N hummed, his tongue lapping up the remaining liquid.
"Jesus, babe," Dick groaned, pulling the Omega off the ground and onto his feet.
"What?" Y/N asked innocently, smiling at the Alpha.
"Nothing," Dick smiled, kissing him, "You're just amazing, that's all."
They couldn't get enough of each other, continuing their sneaking off to empty classrooms and bathrooms, sometimes even the gym showers and the locker rooms. They would usually do their "business" in the middle of the day, right after lunch or in the morning.
They would try to do it at each other's house, but would constantly get interrupted by their parents, who more often than not knew what their kids were getting up to. They were teenagers themselves once and didn't want to risk the young Alpha and Omega making a mistake.
It's why neither was allowed to hang out in the other's room without the door open. They used to sleep in the same bed when they were younger, but after they presented and especially started becoming a couple, both Y/N's parents and Dick's dad had to lay down some strict rules.
Didn't mean they would listen though.
"Dick, stop," Y/N whimpered, his hands gripping Dick's forearms as he laid with his back against the Alpha's shirtless chest, his hips rocking into the Alpha's fingers.
"Fuck, baby. So fucking wet," Dick groaned, his fingers thrusting into the Omega's slick, heated hole.
"Dick, your dad or Alfred could hear us and walk in at any moment," Y/N panted, his legs quivering.
"You should've thought about that before you teased me in the car," Dick whispered, his fingers curling and pressing against the spot that had the Omega crying out.
"Fuck!" Y/N whimpered, his fist flying up to his mouth and biting down.
"Yeah, that's it, babe. Stay quiet as you can," Dick husked, his pace increasing, his fingers stretching the Omega's hot walls.
"Mmph," Y/N moaned, his head falling back against the Alpha's shoulder, his hips rocking against the other's hand.
"That's it, baby. Just like that. Feel so good, babe. Gonna ruin this tight little hole of yours," Dick purred, his free hand tweaking and tugging at the Omega's sensitive nipples.
"Dick, please. Wanna cum," Y/N cried, his hand reaching behind and gripping the Alpha's neck.
"Then, cum. Show me how much you love it when I fuck you with my fingers, baby," Dick grunted, his fingers twisting and curling.
"Shit, shit, shit," Y/N chanted, his voice muffled as he bit down on his fist, his orgasm ripping through him, his cum coating his stomach.
"Hey dudes– OH MY FUCKING GOD!"
Both males froze, their heads snapping towards the door, their eyes widening as they saw Jason and Conner standing there, their mouths hanging open.
"Guys! What the fuck!" Dick immediately grabbed his comforter to cover Y/N.
"Dude! We didn't need to see that! What the fuck!" Jason shouted, his hands covering his face.
"This is the worst day ever," Conner mumbled, his eyes closed and shaking his head.
"Get the fuck out!" Dick growled, throwing a pillow at the two.
"Don't have to tell us twice!"
Both boys immediately turned around and ran out of the room, closing the door shut.
"Those two idiots. I'm gonna kill them," Dick grumbled, his arms wrapping protectively around the Omega.
"Well, we should've been more careful," Y/N said, sighing as he still was coming down from his orgasm and the shock of their friends walking in on them.
"Yeah, well. You were the one who decided to tease me the entire car ride," Dick defended.
"Whatever, I'm taking a shower. I feel sticky and gross," Y/N huffed, removing himself from the Alpha's grasp and heading to the bathroom.
"I'm joining you," Dick stated, getting up and following him.
"You're insatiable," Y/N shook his head, a smile on his lips.
"Only for you, baby," Dick winked, shutting the door behind him.
He was indeed insatiable, and it only got worse when they finally did the entire deed, Dick craving every touch and drop of the Omega he could get. It'd get even worse when his instincts and his jealous and territorial side would show when another Alpha would stupidly try to make a move on his Omega.
Now, that Dick had gotten a full taste of the Omega, outside and in, no one could compare. And the thought of someone else touching his Omega, made his blood boil.
Y/N's thighs had trembled as he lay back against the leather back seats of Dick's sports car, the Alpha's large firm, and sweaty body hovering over him as he snapped his hips forwards, inserting his full length inside the Omega. The car rocked back and forth with the force of his thrusts, making the tinted windows fog and preventing anyone from seeing the two teens inside.
"Mine. All mine," Dick growled, his nails digging into the Omega's plush hips, the sound of their skin slapping together echoing.
"Fuck, Dick," Y/N whined, his legs spreading wider, allowing the Alpha to reach deeper, his thrusts unforgiving.
Dick kissed the inside of the Omega's neck, bringing his sweaty body closer when he could feel it sliding up and retreating from his harsh movements. He pressed Y/N harder into the seats as he increased his pace, causing the Omega's moans and noises to reach a higher volume.
"Don't run from me," Dick grunted, his lips capturing the other's in a searing kiss as fucked into him at an even rougher pace.
He nudged Y/N's thighs apart with his hips that attempted to close from reflex, the Omega's body jolting with every deep, forceful thrust. Y/N let out a strained moan, his nails scratching down the Alpha's broad and muscular back as he was fucked like a slut, praying in the back of his mind none of their classmates would notice it steamy and rocking vehicle.
"No one else gets to have you. No one but me. You're mine, Y/N. Always have and always will be. Understand?" Dick's teeth scraped along the male's scent gland as he felt himself getting closer to his finish, "Say it. Say you're mine," He growled, his hands gripping the Omega's ass, pushing his legs further apart, and holding him in place, his cock drilling into the younger's abused and leaking hole.
"Yours," Y/N sobbed, his tears running down his cheeks, his face flushed red, his heart pounding as he was overwhelmed with pleasure, his body on fire, "All yours, Dick. Forever and always."
Dick smiled at the proclamation, eyeing the blew pendant necklace laying against the Omega's sweaty skin right over his heart, his chest puffing out, pride swelling within him, "My Omega," He purred, before delivering a few more thrusts, slamming into the Omega with a loud groan as he shot his load into the condom.
The pair lay there, panting, trying to regain their breath. Dick had his head tucked against the Omega's neck, his arms wrapped around him tightly, his knot keeping him connected.
"Are you satisfied now?" Y/N breathed, his eyes closed, his hands resting on the Alpha's broad and sweaty back.
"For now," Dick answered, smiling, pressing a kiss against the male's skin.
"I swear if anyone saw us and spread this around the school because you got a little jealous–"
"A 'little' jealous? I was not a little jealous. That guy was all over you and wouldn't take no for an answer. I had to step in," Dick defended.
"We were talking, Dick. He was asking me for notes about the history final. Not every Alpha or Beta that talks to me is going to be another Mike," Y/N explained.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up and cuddle me. I need affection," Dick pouted, snuggling the Omega.
Y/N chuckled, rolling his eyes, but did as asked, wrapping his arms and legs around the Alpha.
"There, better?"
"Much," Dick smiled with another soft kiss to the Omega's chest, right by his necklace.
"Good. Now, when are we getting you the necklace to match mine?" Y/N asked, his fingers tracing the lines of the muscles on the Alpha's back.
"Patience, baby," Dick chuckled, his hand rubbing up and down the smooth and soft body under him.
"Don't tell me to be patient," Y/N grumbled, pouting, "If you're Nightwing then I have to be Flamebird, which means you need a necklace that looks like a Flamebird. We're a mated pair, remember?"
"Oh I remember," Dick smirked, flexing his dick inside the Omega's warm walls.
"Fuck. Don't do that," Y/N whined, his legs tightening around the Alpha's waist, his back arching off the bed.
"Sorry, baby," Dick apologized, not sounding sorry at all.
"You're not," Y/N rolled his eyes.
"Nope," Dick grinned, his tongue licking up the Omega's neck.
Dick continued courting Y/N throughout the rest of the school year. As expected, they were each other's date to the prom where they proceeded to have hot, crazy sex at their hotel, and then came graduation.
To no one's surprise, other than maybe Y/N's, Dick proposed at their commencement ceremony, in front of everyone, the whole school watching. The Omega said yes, of course, and they were congratulated and cheered by their classmates and faculty.
Their parents were surprised, not expecting the couple to take the next step so quickly. They were happy for their sons, of course, but wanted them to be sure. Dick and Y/N agreed to both wait till after college to actually get married, fine with just being fiances' for now.
Someone had caught a picture of them kissing after Dick proposed and replaced the photo they had initially of them in the school's cutest couple section of their class yearbooks. The bunch of saps.
It was a love story straight out of the books—wait a second...
...
Nah.
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☀️ | Dick Grayson/Nightwing | ☀️
☀️ | Masterlists | ☀️
🏍️ | Jason: The Rebel | 🏍️ • 🏈 | Conner: The Jock | 🏈
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725 notes · View notes
emeraldbloodcrown · 1 month
Text
i'm thinking of an alpha 141, with price and simon being you stereotypical alphas, while johnny and kyle might be mistaken for betas - until you piss them off and then even price and simon struggle to hold them back.
they're all alphas but they're also all part of the same pack, which wasn't planned by either of them but it's not unheard of for that to happen in a task force as close knit as the 141. it's their bread and butter to go into the most dangerous situations, to protect one another, to take bullets or knifes for the others; they're the only ones who can actually understand the depth of the trauma each of them is going through.
of course they'd bond together and form a pack. but they're all also alphas. alphas with a desperate wish to mate and breed, and they can't do that with each other, they need an omega for that. but an omega who not only accepts and respects their weird pack dynamic but actively wants that? unheard of, chances so slim they were non-existent.
but so were the chances of simon crawling out of that grave or johnny recovering from that shot to the head.
and they did find one, someone who loved all four of them, someone who wanted to be their mate and give them a child. a beautiful little girl, who somehow seemed to share all of their appearances. and it was perfect.
until it wasn't. until these alphas had to gravel with the situation that their omega was gone, mating bond ripped apart, and their little girl screaming her lungs out. so used to the omega's scent, which after months of trying their best was now fully gone, that it put her in severe distress for weeks on end, leaving not only her but her fathers restless.
and then there's you, their newly moved in neighbor, they only knew their name from their landlord when they came back from their latest mission, knocking and looking just as stressed as them.
price had opened the door for you, chest puffed and ready to tear you apart for coming at his pack but you were calm..exhausted beyond belief, of course, but understanding and most of all concerned for their girl..
"all that screaming can't be healthy for her either"
you had a small container with you, a remedy from your great-grandmother, all herbal so as not to offend her nose, that needs to be rubbed into her chest before bed.
"i'll just leave it here, maybe it helps"
johnny, always the perceptive one, will forever remember how you smiled sadly at their daughter, how your fingers seemed to itch towards her before you remembered your place and just left.
they would soon find out that you were an utter blessing, kind to the bone and so unbelievably considerate. the ointment worked wonders and for the first time in over a month, they saw their daughter smile again and each other finally relax.
and from that point on, johnny was gone, absolutely enamored by you and always jumping at the chance to invite you into their circles, knowing full well the others were much more hesitant, the pain and trauma from their omega abandoning them still stiff in their bones.
but they'd see what he already saw, and it was like you wanted to prove him right when you found out about what happened to their omega, to the one among them that should be bonded the closest to their little girl but was still able to just leave.
you clenched your fingers so tight he was almost afraid you'd break something, the muscles in your neck tightened and you downright snarled, nostrils flared and lip pulled back.
"is...is that normal? her screaming like that for weeks on end? is that likely to happen with something like this?"
the air in the room tensed, charged, similar to before a storm, and it answered all of their suspicion, when they gave you the answer that yes, it was normal - and it audibly cracked around you, like thunder striking, and you had to take a deep breath, mumbling in an old language to let your environment not be influenced by your emotions, lest you hurt or scare any of them.
"you're a witch"
and damn, it should terrify him, witches and shifters don't mix well but all he can think of is that he was right, you were perfect for them, your protectiveness of their daughter only outmatched by them, and if johnny hadn't already made up his mind, hadn't already talked it through with his pack, this would definitely solidify it:
witch or not, you were theirs and mark or not, they'd never let you leave again.
975 notes · View notes
kaicubus · 1 year
Text
Distraction | Xavier T.
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warnings ✩° : mutual pining, angry(?) confession, teasing, competition, cursing, rivals to lovers, both reader and xavier are 17-18 years old, fluff but also a tad spice.
pairing ✩° : xavier thorpe x fem!reader
premise ✩° :  on the day of the annual poe cup, you're put against your academic rival, xavier thorpe, and you don't want to lose. however, he has other plans of  getting the upper hand with you and knows exactly how to get his way. hes knocking out two birds with one stone, if you will.  
word count ✩° : 3.4k
authors note ✩° : this was done in literally a few hours bc i’m obsessed and it needs to be addressed.
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The rules were simple.
They always have been. Follow what the people in charge told you and don't disappoint. If you disappoint them then you disappoint the whole community and what good are you if you're a disappointment. It was hard not to see school, ground zero for being the best, as a competition. In fact, you thrived working towards a goal of being superior than everyone else; maybe it was due to the fact that no matter what was put in front of you, you could understand it and write it off as done as soon as you wrote your name. However, there were some things you didn't get at times and that frustrated you.
Over the time you’ve known him, it’s been test after test, assignment after assignment, obscure experiment after obscure experiment to prove to this seemingly effortlessly perfect creature that you’re better than him, only for you to miss his mark by one. point.
“Maybe you should think less about being better than me and more about the material, Y/n.” Xavier would say, “But don’t worry, you ALMOST got the same score as me.”
It wasn't his snarky comments or obviously stronger memory than you that made you over the top angry, no, it was the fact that you couldn't understand how he was doing it. Nothing made sense and the feeling of not knowing made looking into his stupid hazel eyes, gazing at his sharp and defined side profile, and wispy long hair all the more annoying. Everything has to have answers. So why did he make your throat tighten every time you spoke to him? Or your face flush with dark shades of pink and red? It had to be anger. There was no other explanation.
All of the rivalry would eventually lead you both up to the annual Poe Cup. A boat race amongst four teams, five members from each house all stuck together on their respective hand crafted boats each representing a different Edgar Allen Poe poem.
You're on The Black Cat team while Xavier’s on The Amontillado team. For a whole week you spend with your team, preparing for the race and to utterly destroy Xavier because this will finally prove to yourself that you’re good at him at something.
“You ready to beat the shit out of Xavier, Y/n?” Your friend who knows your rivalry with the guy smiles at you, “Once WE have that cup he has to realize that all he is to you, is dirt.” She was right.
“Relax, F/n, why ruin my chances with excitement when I can take all of that and shove it in his face at the very end.”
Your other team mate taps you both on your shoulders, “You guys ready? It’s almost time.” With that, you watch everyone file into their boats, Xavier included, and so you and your friend make your way into your own seats. However, just before you adjust your headband on your head, you decide to catch a glimpse of the destined losers on each side of you. Though no one else is important right now other than seeing him, so you give a side eyed glance in Xavier’s direction.
To your surprise, not only is he already looking at you, but, “Is he laughing at me?”
Your friend looks towards Xavier as well and scoffs, “Yeah,” She confirms, “Looks like they all are. Fucking clowns.”
As you chew on the inside of your cheek out of anger, a sudden whistle blows from Ms. Weems accompanied by a large megaphone that amplifies her voice as she speaks.
You can tell out of the corner of your eye that ever since your friend had rudely thrusted her middle finger into the sky for all the jesters to see, Xavier hadn't stopped looking at you. His eyes, laser focused, burned into the side of your head and it only made you more anxious for the race. You bite your lip ever so slightly and fight back the urge to look at him too.
Thankfully, you're saved by a gunshot that explodes into the air and suddenly your team gets pushed into the water.
Of all things, why should you be thinking about Xavier Thorpe and what he has to say or look at you for? All this time, you've convinced yourself that you could care less what he thinks of you. After all, the reason you're trying so hard to be better than him is the very reason that motivates you every day to get up and face him. Otherwise, you'd be locked away in your dorm with nothing to do but attend class and repeat the cycle. In a way, he was your reason to wake up.
“Y/N! Duck!” Your friend suddenly snaps you out of your mechanical like motions of rowing as hard as possible. Wasting no time, you dodge the flying axe coming your way by a hair. “What the hell?! Y/n, focus!”
“I am focused, F/n.”
“No, you're not. You got that lost look in your eyes. Stop thinking about Xavier and maybe pay attention to all the objects being thrown around at us? So you don't die, and most importantly, so we can win this for our hall?”
For the rest of the distance from the starting line to the other end of the lake, you try not to look behind you as looking behind you would only distract you from the prize. All of your team puts in their all in rowing as fast as they can together in sync, each arm pushing at the exact same second as everyone else to really glide through the water. Despite nets being tossed, siren students diving under boats and tipping them over, and very small fire crackers being thrown into other boats, three teams are left remaining to the next stage of the race. Getting the flag.
“Go go go!” F/n pushes you up, “Get the black flag. We’ll be waiting here to look out for anybody.”
Not wanting to waste anymore time, you nod and start sprinting directly into the old, creaky forest. Dry leaves crunch under your feet in threes, making their crinkles the only noise in the entire forest. That’s good, you think, that means no one else came yet. Quickly jumping over logs and rocks, you make your way to the flag destination, only to see that your black flag is missing.
“What the—”
“Hey,” a voice calls out from behind you, “Looking for something?”
The cheesy line doesn't go without an eye roll as you turn around, “Xavier.”
“You don't seem too happy to see me.” Your rival stands with a shit eating grin on his face, comically extenuated with crimson, drippy paint.
You're quick to reply, “I'm not. You took my flag which I need to win this. So hand it over, Thorpe.”
He raises his hands and allows you to charge up to him just close enough so that you're barely touching the tips of his pointed shoes with your jet black boots. “What? Who says I have your flag? I JUST got here in case you hadn't noticed.”
“I actually haven't noticed. Because why would I stop to care about where you are?”
“You seemed to care when we first started.” Xavier leans down and twists his head slightly, just enough for you to be caught off guard and step back, “I saw you looking at me.” His tone makes you shrink back.
Heat rushes to your face in a fleeting panic and almost immediately, your chest twists your rib cage hard enough to squeak out, “I WASN'T LOOKING AT YOU! YOU were looking at ME!”
Xavier raises his brows and chuckles, “I remember differently.”
Of course he has to be cocky now. “Look, Xavier. Just forget this and let me go. Your gross sweat is getting all over me.”
“Oh is that so?”
“YESNOWLETGO.”
He snickers at your flustered nature but decides to go the extra mile and tease you further, “You do realize that we all have to get back, Y/n, its kinda the whole reason why we made it here. Though it looks like its just the two of us.” He turns to both of his sides and then directs his attention back to you, “I’d say we have a little time.”
Again, you emphasize, “WE don't have time. Unlike you, I actually WANT to win. Xavier, I don't know what your deal is or why you're so obsessed with me and making me look like a complete and utter fool, but once I win this for my team, it ends. Do you understand me?”
Xavier exhales deeply, “You know, for someone who’s so high strung and smart, you're really dumb, aren't you?”
“What?”
He steps forward, causing you to back into a tree. You can feel the roughness of the tree bark as it etches its way across the backside of your suit, causing a mildly discomforting feeling that shivers throughout your skin. Before you can move forward, Xavier steps closer, basically eliminating any means of escaping.
“Why am I so obsessed with you? Is that what you think this is? Obsession?”
You look up at him to find his naturally tall stature hunched over to be at eye level with you. Surely, if anyone to walk into the scene, they’d think you two were stopping the competition just to make out. Even though Xavier’s hand is firmly pressed just between your ear and shoulder and he was just over an inch close to you so that your noses are barley touching, it’s not like that at all. Yet, at least.
“That’s what I just asked.” Your eyebrows stitch together bitterly, “Can you not hear, clown? You don’t understand how hard it is for me to watch my reputation die because of you and your perfect grades and your perfect art. What makes you think you can just parade yourself around to be better than me?!” The questions leave a burning sensation in your throat.
“Reputation? Grades? Is that what this is about?”
“YES! Are you DENSE?!”
Instead of matching your violent glower, you watch as the clown leans his head to the side in laughter. His lips parting just enough so you can see his sharp teeth laugh at you too, “Y/n, did you just call me dense? What is that? An insult? At least I’m not the one who always scores lower than me.”
Embarrassment? Anger? Nervousness? Why was his laugh the thing to make you feel weak now? Maybe the first two are theories, but the third is a definite fact. Your eyes are quickly drawn in by his hazel pupils, curious and dilated as they stare back at you. For a moment, the silence between you two isnt filled with hate or rivalry, but peace. That is until he lets out a breathy laugh after getting a good look at your calm face for once.
“Y/n, cat got your tongue? Or do you just not have anything else to say to me other than ‘I hate you’ and ‘stop being better than me’?” He points a finger to your feline head accessory.
"Shut up.” You bark, “Dumb isn’t really a good insult either. You are so full of shit—"
Xavier moves closer, now toe to toe with you and just a breath away from your face.
“God, Y/n, cant you see that I like you? All this time I thought it was so obvious. I mean, how are you going to tell people you're the smartest person in the room when you cant even pick up on subtle hints that basically spell it out for you?” He says, “Or are you too busy to notice anyone other than yourself?”
His words cause your heart to pound once, twice, and before you know it you can’t hear anything but the thumping in your chest and the soft winds surrounding you both. Xavier parts his lips again, determined to give you the answers you've been so desperately searching for. 
“Do you know how fucking exhausting it is to pretend I hate you back, just to have the opportunity to talk to you?” His tone is exasperated and shallow, but he doesn't break eye contact with you, “You seriously thought all those times we got close was because I wanted to be ‘better’ than you in some subject?” Almost like he doesn't believe you, Xavier shakes his head in disapproval, “The only time Ive wanted to prove to you I'm worth something is now.”
His confession only fills your head with more questions, “That doesn't even make any sense! How can you say you didn't actually want to be better than me when that's all you did?” You feel the heat saturate into a dark pink that settles into your cheeks, “And why are you telling me all this now? Why are you so adamant on telling me that you—”
Xavier doesn't even acknowledge your questions, he just continues to hold a burning tension between you and him, focusing only on one thing.
Fuck.
Maybe its the fact hes so close, or that he told you hes liked you all this time, but right now it feels like nothings stopping you from telling him too. It just feels so right.
Before you know it, your mouth opens on its own, your bottom lip trembling for just a second. Xavier’s eyes trail down to your lips, then back into your eyes, and a small smirk pulls the corner of his ivory painted skin up.
Without another second to lose, Xavier tilts even closer than he thought he’d ever be to you and cups your cheek, finding the courage you both need to pull you into an unexpected kiss.
The pastiness of your rival’s white face paint rubs against your dewy skin as the taste of him spreads across your pallet, rough, warm, and agonizingly slow. With a gentle hand, you bunch the back of Xavier’s thin yet airy suit and fall into him, curving just enough so he can extend his hold on you.
Xavier knew that he wanted to touch you. It’s basically been his dream ever since he got close to you and seemingly hurdled himself into being your rival. But he’d never admit that. Or maybe, now he would. Gently, Xavier clasps onto your hips more carefully, securely rubbing his fingers against the skin tight latex uniform you were forced to wear which gives him enough grip to hook his desperate palms onto your body.
You break away for a second, just long enough to look at his face and how mesmerized he is by you and just how fucked you are in this downward spiral of messy feelings and requited love. Love you are much too afraid to commit to. But, Xavier pulls you back into his lips and makes you forget all of your worries, even the one you're supposed to be most worried about. 
The kiss practically captures you for what seems like an eternity, erasing all memory of the Poe Cup and time spent hating Xavier's guts only to now realize that that hate may have been fueled by a painfully simple crush. But you wouldn't admit that either. Though, now there’s no other explanation to the methods behind your madness.
Soon enough, your hands find their rightful place in his long, messy hair, scooting his jester cap off easily. Had you known his hair was this soft before? You always told yourself you didn't care but now it was too hypnotizing not to twirl your fingers in. In fact, it’s practically asking you to grab it and play with it, screaming at you to touch it, touch him.
Xavier’s hips press into yours, giving you the go ahead to adjust your position so that your thigh is comfortably resting atop his hip. The stance feels too natural to be normal, and you're both caught off guard by it. Yet, you continue to taste him and feel him up close without another thought.
Nipping at your bottom lip, you can feel Xavier let out a sigh of relief, as if kissing you has been something on his mind for years. Only half of that could be true. Still, his victory cheer makes you do your own version with a quieter huff.
You give the roots of his hair a tight squeeze before your shoulders relax and another sigh escapes from your now open mouth. The force of his lips smashing against yours pushes you back successfully, leaving each part of your body to surrender to his. For once, you let it and as much as you hate to admit it, whatever he was doing was working.
When he finally pulls away, your breath is harsh and so is his. No matter how hard you could try, looking away from his hazy eyes was not an option. Just like the fog around you both, his gaze is inescapable and suffocating. You knew kissing your rival was a bad idea, but neither one of you want to move your hands from their proper places on each other.
Just then, a distant voice calls out to Xavier that snaps you out of your absentmindedness. “Shit,” Xavier curses softly against your lips, “Thanks for that Y/n,” he pulls away, much to your hidden displeasure, “But...I have a cup to win.”
Suddenly, it all comes hurdling back.
“FUCK! THE RACE!” You tear yourself away from Xavier, breaking the warmth between you both, and scramble to find your flag, “YOU CONNIVING SON OF A BITCH. YOU DISTRACTED ME!”
“I hope you don't mind but I actually sort of hid it.” He grins slyly at you, straightening his suit with a swift rub on his chest, “No rules, remember?” He pulls out a flag from behind him and snickers. Has he had that this entire time?
A flash of surging anger fumes inside of your chest, but Xavier just smiles. In his mind, it’s almost laughable how you fell for his devious yet successful confession slash plan. It was too good to pass up. And judging by the sour pout on your face, it worked!
“Y/n,” He chirps, “Was I a good distraction?” He can’t help but ask.
You avoid his gaze and turn your head to other possible directions your flag can be in, “You're the worst, Xavier.”
He runs a hand through his brown hair and smooths it down, “Right, right. You hate me. But I got you pretty good, didn’t I?” He picks up his jester cap and lazily smashes it onto the top of his head, “I'm gonna go, but, you should totally meet me in my dorm tonight? At 8?”
He makes his hasty exit before you can reply, leaving you breathless and weak in the knees—mostly tight fisted and furious, but still, weak in the knees.
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“So, Y/n. Do you want to explain why you...left for so long..?” Your teammate asks, kind of scared to ask in the first place but confusion was eating her alive. How fitting.
Instead of answering, you reply with strong and swift robotic motions that quickly thunk your boat along the shore line, taking a good chunk out of the grass and soil. Unfortunately, half way through your synchronized rowing, some water kicked up into the boat and soaked your costume. You didn't care though. All you wanted was Xavier.
And his head on a stick.
Sounds of congratulatory cheers erupt from the crowd as Xavier and the rest of his jester-like teammates hold up the Poe Cup trophy together.
“Bitch.” Is all you can say when all your other teammates wash up next to you, sad, defeated, and soaked with murky lake water.
“Well get them next time, Y/n. Don’t be so hard on yourself!” Your friend smiles happily.
Yeah. Tonight.
7K notes · View notes
chimielie · 1 year
Text
girlfriend
summary: Iwaizumi x F!Reader. you might be his girlfriend—but she's his girl.
word count: 2.4k
cw: hurt/comfort. a lot of reader insecurity. fear/mention of emotional cheating but there is none
a/n: this actually fills @akimind's request for my 500 follower event one million years ago but the formatting is tooo hard so. here it is!!! iwaizumi + angst + college au + "that's not what i said." LOVE YOU SORRY HOPE IT HURTS AND IS ALSO ENJOYABLE. <<<<3333333
You didn't mean to fall in love with your boyfriend.
You hadn't gone into this expecting Hajime to become your boyfriend at all, actually. You liked him. Liked how easy it was to be with him. How warm he was when you let your touch linger on him and pretended it was more than a flirty friendship. You hadn't ever predicted it would become so, because Hajime was hung up on his ex-girlfriend.
They'd traveled over oceans to be together, coming to Irvine from the same prefecture in Japan. They had still been together when you met him, her head tucked beneath his chin, his arms wrapped around her waist. Your first thought was "oh, he's beautiful." Your second thought was "they look like they're made for each other." You shoved the first thought deep inside a secret crevice of your brain and stuck out your hand to introduce yourself with a bright smile.
The strain of new adulthood got to them, though, or so you assumed: you were never privy to the gory details of the breakup. They remained friendly, in the same friend group, and it just always seemed obvious to you that they would someday reconcile. It wasn't until two years after their break that you were able to start showing regular, platonic affection to Hajime without feeling like an attempted homewrecker.
It was just before graduation, having dragged him away for a late-night bite to eat so neither of you would starve to death studying for finals, when everything flipped on its head. Your plan to energize the both of you had backfired; you were yawning every other sentence and came close to laying your head on the table before Hajime put his palm down in front of your face.
"Come sit next to me," he'd said, so you maneuvered around into his side of the booth and been promptly pulled into his side. You had looked up at him, murmuring a sleepy question that was more wordless noise than actual English, and that was it. Something you didn't understand softened his gaze, and then he tilted his head to the side and brushed his lips over yours.
It was a perfect first kiss.
In the weeks following it, you had bounced violently between insisting to yourself that he hadn't meant for you to read too far into the kiss and your natural instinct to go after what your heart wanted. And the more he proved that it wasn't a one-off anomaly, that he could kiss you right out of drought into a superbloom, the more you were convinced. Iwaizumi Hajime wouldn't knowingly break your heart.
When Hajime asked you to be official, wildflower bouquet in hand, the lights of the now-empty graduation pavilion shining down on the both of you, you said yes, your whole heart and none of your brain in the matter.
As you entered your apartment hand-in-hand with him, greeting all the friends who had gathered there to celebrate the end of undergraduate school, you remembered that the key modifier in "Iwaizumi Hajime wouldn't knowingly break your heart" was knowingly. He seemed happy enough announcing the development to everyone else, and then she had walked in, carrying a bottle of wine that almost slipped from her grasp when she saw your proximity. He had dropped your hand—just for a second, but it had happened, and then picked it back up like his sentence hadn't died in his mouth at the sight of her.
He'd always gotten a little defensive when people mentioned their relationship, his features shutting down into a blank, tight expression. Though they obviously weren't as close as they had been for most of their lives, they were still both part of your friend group, and he always seemed to laugh just a little harder at her jokes, kept eye contact a little longer, got embarrassed more easily around her. You didn't want to be jealous or insecure or possessive, but it just felt more increasingly obvious that you were a rebound, a cheap, temporary dupe meant to fill in until Hajime realized and returned to the love of his life.
It was hard to be angry at him, though, because you knew with every fiber of your bleeding heart that he wouldn't do this to you on purpose. You knew he thought he cared for you, that he thought he had moved on. He did a good job almost every day coming very close to persuading you of it, enough to keep you from breaking up with him and leaving him behind, but never quite erasing your insecurities for more than a few weeks at a time.
One of the first mornings you woke up in his bed, well rested and sore in all the right places, he was missing. You got up, mourning the softness of his sheets and the scent of him on the pillowcases, and slipped into one of his shirts before leaving his room to explore.
He was cooking, shirtless in the kitchen, and if that wasn't one of the yummiest things you had seen in your life.
"Good morning," you said, leaning against his counter.
"Very," he returned, flipping an egg in the pan. "Looking like that. I think—I mean, it seems like that shirt always gets chosen to be the boyfriend shirt." He had narrowly avoided saying her name, but you had heard it threatening to tumble out of his mouth. You bit back a response, but your smile still dropped, and he spent the next hour making allusive, sorry overtures without either of you actually acknowledging the slip.
You never wore that shirt again. He gave you another one, you accepted it, and life moved on.
Except you had somehow become mired in the past with a relationship that was long over, and without university or a job to distract you—you were starting at the end of September, which felt aeons away—it was eating you alive, especially as Hajime left for a preliminary return trip to Japan.
"Did you hear how Mattsun and Makki greeted him when he landed?" You sit in the car on the way to the airport, packed in with Hajime's ex, successfully hyping yourself up to see him again until she addressed the group.
"Oh, yeah," you laugh. "So funny." You haven't had a conversation with Hajime that had more depth than "how are u? miss u" for the trip's duration. She's your friend, too, though you've never been close, but there's something unbearable about admitting it to her now, when you're so unsure of your relationship's current status. It has to mean something that he was keeping her updated and active in his life, didn't it?
You find solace in knowing that you don't blame her at all. If you could find an ounce of resentment for her in your heart, you would probably have left Hajime by now—isn't that the mark of a truly evil plot-pushing girlfriend?
You cry when you see him again.
"Happy tears," you assure him, and hide your face in his shoulder.
Later, alone in his apartment, you bite your lip when Hajime asks if you want to sleep over.
"Okay, babe, I don't want to pressure you," he says, and you can feel yourself tensing up as he speaks. "But I feel like you've been—off all day. Is everything okay?"
You blanch and focus on the cowlick on the right side of his head, the one that's endeared him so much to you, so you don't have to look him in the eyes. Too much is bubbling up in your throat, your brain thrown into overdrive, and he's staring at you with so much worry in his eyes it's just not right to leave him hanging:
"No."
Hajime makes a noise you don't understand, low in his throat. "Is it because I didn't call enough while I was gone? Because I can explain that, I promise."
"No," you rush to explain. "I don't—it wasn't you, exactly. I've just—ever since we started dating—I think you still love her."
You're picking at your nails, a bad habit you've had since you were small, and he takes your hands in his, smooths his thumbs over the torn cuticles.
"I don't," he says, finally, neutrally, though his face hasn't formed into the cold mask you're used to seeing when she's brought up. "Ever since we started dating?"
"Before," you admit. "I always thought you would get back together. You just seemed so made for each other."
"But we weren't," a little pucker between his eyebrows forms. "So—what did you think when we started dating?"
"When you first kissed me," you say, "I thought maybe it was a one-off. That you wanted something casual. And then it got more serious, and I thought maybe I could just suppress my insecurities until they went away, and I mean, I really thought you liked me."
"I do," his voice grows more agitated, his lips thinning out.
"Yeah, but..." You trail off. "You would do things that made me think, oh, he's just the perfect guy, they just looked so amazing because I was jealous, and then every so often I'd see you interact with her and it wasn't like how we are at all. I know the insecurity is my own fault, that's not on you, but I feel like it's holding both of us back."
"What do you mean holding us back? You don't think you make me happy?" He snaps, and you wince.
"Not like you are with her! Every time she comes in the room you get this look on your face, like you're speechless. Like-like the songs, Haji, I just..."
He lets go of your hands, crosses his arms.
"Do you really think I'd do that to you?"
"No, Haji, I know you'd never cheat. That's why I fell in love with you! You're a good guy, but I don't want you to wake up one day and break both our hearts because she's meant to be your girl and I'm just your fucking girlfriend." Your eyes sting, your chest heaving by the end of the sentence.
"You love me?" He's quieter now, giving you a little more space to breathe.
"What? That's not what I said."
"Yes, it is," he says, a little smile growing at the corners of his mouth, as though he can't control it. "You love me."
"I'm sorry, I don't understand why you're focusing on that," you wipe at your eyes with the back of your hand. "It's true, I just don't get it."
"Because you make me happier than she ever did," he promises, crowding you up against the counter and motioning for you to jump up to sit on top of it after you can go no further. "I'm weird when she's around because she's my ex, sure, but not because I still want her. It... ended badly. It's a miracle we didn't pull the entire friend group into it, and I never wanted to make her look bad to them, so I'm always trying really hard to look, uh, normal around her. We're on better terms now, but I haven't wanted her in years, honey."
"She knew about what you were doing when I didn't," you mumble, feeling small in the stormy release of emotions. "And she knows so much about you I don't in general."
"We grew up together," Hajime reminds you. "It would have been one of the guys. I know I didn't tell her anything. You can check my call history, my texts."
You shake your head. "I believe you."
"Really?" He arches a brow, and you laugh and push gently at his shoulder.
"Yes, really."
"You know how long I had a crush on you before I did anything about it? I thought you weren't interested, and then you finally started being even more affectionate with me than you were with our other friends, and I took the chance."
"Rookie numbers," you preen under his gaze. "I liked you... pretty much as soon as I met you. But I suppressed it 'cause I didn't want to be a homewrecker."
"You're sweet," he chuckles. "I promise, you have nothing to worry about there. I'm never gonna wake up and not be grateful to see you drooling on my bed."
"You're the worst, you know that?"
"Yeah, yeah," he looks at you fondly, swiping his thumbs under your lower lashes. "You love me, though."
"Oh," your lips part. "And the not calling in Japan?"
He scrunches his nose. "I was trying not to spoil anything. I wanted to, uh, discuss it with you first, but you should know my friends and family are all waiting to embarrass me if I have to turn everything around now."
"Okay? I'll consider your dignity, but I make no promises," you tease. He drops his head to your shoulder for a moment, taking a deep breath, and you wind a hand into his hair, petting him until he straightens.
"So, you know how I have that paid internship opportunity back home?" You nod, not wanting to be reminded. You'll do it for him, but... long distance sucks. "I went to their office and turned it down. I want to go through with my doctorate."
"Oh, that's huge!" You gasp. "That's incredible, I'm so happy for you!"
"So the part that has to do with you is, um," he says, "you're planning to stay here, right?"
"Yeah," you say, "my next step is like a twenty minute commute, thankfully."
"I want to finish my schooling in the States," he tells you, "and then after that, I want to go wherever you go."
"Hajime," you start, but he puts a shaking hand on your knee, and that shuts you up.
"I love you," he says seriously. "It's like I said, okay? You make me happier than anyone else. I know you're the one for me, if you'll have me. If not, I get—"
You grab his face and smash your lips into his, and if that doesn't get the message across? You don't know what will.
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bellaxgiornata · 6 months
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Seeking Forgiveness [Part Six]
Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader Word Count: 3.5k
[Full summary and installment list for this series can be found here.]
Warnings/tags: 18+ contains angst, emotional hurt, delayed comfort, pregnant Reader
a/n: Another angsty and sad installment, but hey there's finally an update for this fic! There's also some POV switches in this one but it should be obvious. Feedback is always appreciated!
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Matt hadn’t meant to show up at the office in such a foul mood that Friday morning. That wasn’t his intention. He’d gone through a multitude of emotions last night, barely getting any sleep after he’d stopped by your apartment and found out that you were pregnant. Eventually he’d finally decided that he would seek your forgiveness for how awful he’d treated you, wanting to prove just how serious he was about being there for the both of you. And he was not going to give up until he’d somehow managed it. Until he proved himself to you. With a focused calm after that silent vow, he’d put back his apartment after the destructive mess he’d made of it in his self-loathing fury.
But yet somehow as he stepped into the office and heard both Karen and Foggy working at their desks, he couldn’t stop that bit of bitter anger that suddenly burned white hot in his stomach. Because they both had to have known that you were pregnant this whole time. He knew Karen had been spending time with you, and he figured Foggy’s rage at him back on Monday morning had to have been due to him finding out the truth, too. And yet neither of them had said a thing.
Feeling irrationally angry, Matt slammed the door harshly behind himself before roughly storming his way to his office. He heard the way both Foggy and Karen had glanced up from their desks at his loud entrance, probably exchanging a look with each other about his bad mood. 
Dropping his briefcase onto his desk in his frustration, Matt folded up his cane before he also slammed that onto his desk. Closing his eyes, he blew out a rough breath, his hands aggravatedly readjusting his tie.
This wasn't on Foggy or Karen, he reminded himself. This was between the two of you. What had happened was due to his actions. You were allowed to be friends with them still, allowed to have confided in them. Even if it hurt him to be the last to know.
But as much as Matt tried hard to calm himself down and not lash out, ultimately his anger won out.
Swiftly turning on his heel, Matt stormed back out of his office, his teeth grinding together. Hands rising to roughly grip his hips, he couldn’t fight the near growl in his voice when he spoke.
“Both of you knew, didn’t you?” he called out into the office. “That she was pregnant? With my child?”
He heard Foggy sigh, gradually sliding his chair back and making his way around his desk before exiting his office. Karen hesitated for a moment, running her fingers through her hair before she slowly rose from her desk, too. Both of them entered the main room of the office a moment later, focusing on Matt.
“So you finally spoke with her?” Foggy asked.
“Yeah,” Matt snapped. “I did. Turns out she’s pregnant. But you both knew that, didn’t you? Before I even did?”
“Yes,” Karen replied. “Wasn’t exactly my place to tell you that, though.”
“She was planning to tell you herself, Matt,” Foggy added. “That was her place to do so, not ours. I know you know that.”
Matt’s lips thinned out in irritation. Of course he knew they had a point, he wasn’t that much of an asshole, but that didn’t stop him from being angry that he’d been walking around this office entirely oblivious while both of them knew what was really going on. While both of them knew he was going to be a father.
“I…take it the talk didn’t go so well?” Foggy asked carefully.
Matt’s eyes narrowed back at him behind his lenses. “No, Fog, it didn’t,” he answered. “She told me to leave. Told me she was raising our child by herself, even after I practically begged her to let me be a part of things with her.”
“I mean,” Karen began cautiously, “can you blame her?”
Matt’s head darted in the direction of Karen’s voice. He heard the way she crossed her arms over her chest and leant up against the doorframe of her office. His eyes narrowed even further at her words.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked sharply.
“It means that you’ve been throwing yourself out there as Daredevil for so long now, Matt,” Karen explained. “You don’t even think about the consequences of it anymore. You were supposed to be in a committed relationship with her. And things had been going well between you both, but in the entirety of your relationship, nothing crazy had been happening in Hell’s Kitchen until just recently. And then you prioritized that over her,” Karen continued. “So can you blame her for not wanting you around for this? For not wanting the added stress of wondering if you’re actually going to show up for her when you say you will? For not wanting to wonder if she even matters to you? If you’re even going to be any help to her when she needs it?”
“Well, I–”
“Because you have absolutely no idea what she’s been going through for the past few weeks,” Karen barreled over Matt. “The fear and the loneliness she’s been feeling. Struggling with uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms while trying to take care of herself all on her own. She’s been in this alone for weeks now, Matt. Because you couldn’t have just put her first for a single damn minute and listen to her the other week when she begged you .” 
Matt stood there dumbfounded when Karen finally finished, his mouth falling open as his hands dropped from his hips, coming to hang loosely at his sides. In all his anger at himself since finding out that you were pregnant last night, he admittedly hadn’t thought too much about what you’d been going through alone. Sure, he figured you were scared, he’d certainly thought about that last night–cried over it repeatedly–but he hadn’t thought about what you must be feeling from pregnancy on top of all of that. The memory of you having been sick last night surfaced in his mind and guilt burned through him, dissipating the anger within him immediately.
“She thinks you wouldn’t want to be a father,” Foggy added softly. “That you’d care more about the city and Daredevil than raising a child.”
Matt shook his head firmly, a pain hitting him hard in the chest at Foggy’s words. You’d said that to him last night, too, but it still hurt to hear.
“That’s not true,” he breathed out, still shaking his head. “Nothing could ever be more important to me than my own family. Nothing . Especially because I never–” the words caught in his throat, his eyes closing sharply, “–I never really had one. And I wouldn’t–wouldn’t do the same to my own child. Wouldn’t have them growing up feeling like I ever abandoned them. Because I wouldn’t ,” he nearly snarled out. “I would never . And I will do everything in my power to get her to understand that.”
"I believe you," Foggy said.
The words caught Matt off guard, his head tilting to the side as he heard the truth in Foggy’s heartbeat. 
"I know you, man," Foggy continued. "I know how difficult it was for you not having your family once your dad passed. We talked about it often at Columbia. So I believe you."
Matt felt his throat closing up with emotion at his friend’s words. Tears were brimming in his eyes behind his glasses and he blinked them back, not wanting to cry in front of Foggy and Karen.
"For what it's worth, I do, too," Karen added gently. "And we have both told her that. But honestly? You do have some changes to make, Matt. You need to learn balance if you're ever going to make things work. Because it's not Foggy and I that you need to convince."
"You're right," Matt readily agreed, fighting to keep his voice steady. "You're right, I do. And I will prove to her that she can depend on me. That I want to be in this with her."
"Good," Foggy firmly replied. "Cause I think you've got some work to do, buddy."
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Matt kneeled down on the roof of your building, hunching over and turning an ear towards your apartment below so he could listen in better. He'd passed by here earlier when he'd first gone out tonight as Daredevil, which was something he had been avoiding ever since the breakup. He hadn't wanted to catch so much as a single beat of your heart, afraid the sound alone would shatter him to pieces, only reminding himself how much he missed you. But after the past couple of nights, stopping by your apartment was all he ever seemed compelled to do. 
Earlier when he stopped by you'd been curled up on your couch, quietly watching some of those shows he knew you liked. He'd noticed you were tired, close to drifting out of consciousness as you lay there focused on the television. He could hear the exhaustion in your body and the countless times you'd yawned. He'd been itching to hop down onto your fire escape and slip through the window as he listened, desperate to peel off his suit and hold you on the couch like he used to. To let you drift to sleep in his arms while he buried his nose into your hair, breathing in the scent of you.
He'd focused on the baby, too. He'd listened to that fluttering heartbeat for quite a long while, having to eventually tear himself away from it only when he overheard someone screaming for help in the city. He hadn't wanted to go, deluding himself into feeling like he was there with you both if he focused hard enough. But ultimately you both were safe inside that apartment and somewhere in the city someone else needed his help.
But he'd come back one last time before he planned to head home for the night and try to sleep because he'd heard you up and about in your apartment. He knew it was early in the morning and he'd been curious, wondering if you were alright. Because you should have been asleep at this point. 
So he had settled on the roof, and now he heard you rummaging around your kitchen. A loud rumble of hunger from your stomach met his ears and he understood immediately why you were awake–you were hungry. Making something to eat in the middle of the night. 
His shoulders sagged as he placed a gloved hand to the floor of the roof as if that would somehow bring him closer to you. He'd have made you anything you asked. Would have ordered you whatever you wanted, any time of the night. 
He'd have done anything for you. 
Too little, too late , the bitter words of the Devil reminded him. 
"Yeah, I know, I'm going as fast as I can," he heard you say. "Don't forget you're the one who woke me from a dead sleep at two in the morning wanting a grilled cheese. So you'll just need to be patient cause I am not awake, and that weird hunger-nausea is not helping.”
A smile slowly pulled Matt’s lips upwards under the mask as he listened in. You were talking to the baby, your tone a mix of tired, affectionate, and frustrated. He wondered how often you did that. This was the first time he’d stopped by and overheard you.
"Would be a lot easier if you craved things like an apple," you continued, heating the pan. "You know how much work it takes to prep an apple? None, my little devil."
Matt's hand curled into a fist at those three words you'd spoken so lovingly from your lips. My little devil . You used to call him that when he'd make his way back to you at night, running your fingers so delicately across cheek, just beneath his mask, as you inspected him for injuries. 
Now you were calling the baby that? It was almost too much for Matt to bear. Sitting on the roof, bent in half over his knees, he became very aware of how much he wasn't quite a part of any of this with you. How separate he felt from you and his own child growing within you. Because of his own mistakes, his inability to prioritize the different parts of his lives. Because he should have just listened to you when you’d asked him to stay.
The burn of tears unexpectedly hit him fast and hard, his heart thumping heavily in his chest. What he wouldn’t give to slip through your window right now and pull you into a kiss, to wrap you in his arms and just hold you. He’d love nothing more than to settle you on the couch and make you the best damn grilled cheese you’d ever had. Afterwards, he'd happily clean up the kitchen and take you back to your bed, curling himself around you and falling asleep. You'd always fit so perfectly in his arms.
But you’d probably have yelled at him if he tried to step foot into your apartment again to help. He honestly didn’t think he could handle hearing you tell him yet again that he wasn’t wanted. That he had nothing to offer. That there was nothing here for him. Because that part wasn’t remotely true–you and that unborn child meant more to him than you clearly knew. 
“I don’t understand how this smells like the best thing in the world right now,” you said to your belly, Matt’s ears picking up on the way you were rubbing a hand across it. “Yet coffee makes me want to throw up. I have never been a grilled cheese person. Your dad can attest to that.”
It wasn’t until he heard a few droplets land on the roof beside his fist that he realized he’d been crying. His tears had somehow managed to slide out beneath his mask as he’d been listening in to you making your late night snack. His throat had felt like it was closing up the second you’d mentioned him. And the emotions that stirred awake inside of him when you’d referred to him as dad were strong and foreign to him. 
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he croaked out between his tears. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. Talked to you like that. And I–I certainly shouldn’t have left you when you’d needed me.” He slammed his fist against the roof, grimacing at the force as his knuckles stung beneath his gloves. “I should’ve been better. You deserved better. But I’ll fix it. I swear to you, I will fix it.”
“Wonder who you’ll take after more,” you mused softly, entirely oblivious to Matt sitting on the roof of your apartment building listening in. “Me or your dad.”
Raising a gloved hand to his mouth, a muffled sob slipped out of Matt and into it. As much as hearing this was further twisting his heart in his chest, he couldn’t tear himself away. He couldn’t stop listening, wishing he could be part of the conversation with you.
“Hopefully you get your father’s intelligence,” you continued on. “He’s a smart man, even if he’s stubborn and makes absolutely terrible decisions sometimes.”
A humorless laugh fell out of Matt next, still muffled against the palm of his glove. More wet tears trailed down his cheeks, the brisk night air biting unforgivingly against his damp skin. You weren’t wrong on that.
“I wonder what your favorite animal will be, too,” you said, turning off the stovetop. “Dogs? Cats? Koala bears?”
He heard you hum in thought as you plated your grilled cheese, walking your way over to the small table in your kitchen. The same table he’d sat at with you for many dinners, flirting with you over a meal he’d helped you cook or one you’d both ordered out. The same table you both eventually crawled out of bed in the mornings together to have coffee at, with Matt often pulling you down to cuddle in his lap while he slowly woke up.
“Or will you like narwhals maybe?” you murmured, breaking through the memories playing through his mind. "What do you think, my little devil?"
Matt forced himself to stop listening in to that one-sided conversation when he heard you take a bite of your food, shaking his head roughly as he rose to his feet. His heart ached far too much, the tears continuing to drip down his chin and land on the cement roof with an echoing plop each time. He wiped the sleeve of his suit across his face below the mask, trying to dry the tears even though they still kept coming.
He didn’t think he could sit up on your rooftop any longer. It wasn’t the same as actually being there with you. Touching you. Smelling you. Holding you. He needed to find a way to do more than this. To be welcomed back into your life, even just a little bit, so that he could prove himself. He couldn’t just sit here pathetically crying on your apartment building’s rooftop while he eavesdropped.
With a frustrated growl, Matt threw himself over to the next rooftop, heading back out into the night.
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Groaning, you woke up to that familiar, unpleasant dizziness as your alarm rang out on the nightstand beside you. Pulling a hand up from out of the sheets, you turned off your alarm before running your hand across your forehead, keeping your eyes closed and waiting for the sensation to pass. It was a few minutes before it finally did, and you slowly began to toss the sheets off of yourself. 
Throwing your legs over the side of the bed, you reached over and grabbed the half-full tumbler of water from your nightstand. You had been keeping one there every night lately, noticing that the cool water sometimes helped ease the nausea that woke you from a dead sleep. 
Bringing the tumbler up to your parched lips, you slowly drank a few sips down. Your stomach immediately grumbled, churning once the water reached it. Groaning again, you stopped drinking, not wanting to push your luck and end up hunched over your toilet again. Apparently you still had a few more weeks before the morning sickness generally wore off for most women in pregnancy, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t counting down the days. You’d celebrate with a cup of coffee–assuming the scent of it didn’t still deter you.
Rising up onto your feet, you groggily trudged your way out of the bedroom and across the hall to your bathroom. You flipped on the light, setting your tumbler down on the bathroom counter so you could relieve your very full bladder. You’d woken up a handful of times to pee in the middle of the night, but yet somehow there always seemed to be more to empty.
When you’d finished in the bathroom, you shuffled your way down the hallway, throwing a hand over your mouth as you yawned. If only you could have crawled back into bed and taken the day off of work. It was the last thing you felt like doing today. But as you made your way past your couch in the living room, something had caught your eye and you paused.
Doubling back you stopped at the armrest of the couch, staring down at what was positioned in the middle of it. A blue plush narwhal with a gold horn sat smiling back at you. One that hadn’t been there earlier.
For a moment all you could do was stand there and stare at it, confusion washing over you. Until you remembered how you’d gotten hungry in the middle of the night last night and made yourself a grilled cheese. And you’d been talking to your baby bump aloud, musing what they may or may not be like in the future.
You gasped when realization dawned on you, your hand flying back up to your mouth. Matt must have been nearby, eavesdropping on the conversation you were having. He must’ve heard you mention narwhals last night, and then apparently decided to run out and buy one–and the thought of him doing that dressed as Daredevil was admittedly amusing–before slipping into your apartment and leaving it here for you to find. For the baby.
As you trudged your way over to the couch, setting your tumbler down onto the coffee table and collapsing into the couch cushions, you didn’t know what to make of that. Picking up the stuffed narwhal, you hugged it to your chest, your eyes closing. Half of you wanted to be pissed that he’d been listening in without your knowledge, wondering if he’d been doing that often, but the other half of you was touched. It may not have been a grand gesture, but it was a gesture that clearly meant something. But what exactly still remained to be seen.
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stxrvel · 1 year
Text
the outbreak
summary: your bruised heart and shattered mind have feelings for Bucky and you had planned to tell him very soon, however, the disastrous outcome of the last mission and a heated argument make you think the best option was to keep quiet.
pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader
words: 8k or so
warnings: implicit reference of suicidal thoughts, some suicidal accusations, maybe like get your shit together kind of stuff, a lot of bad words, angst. there's just no happy endings in this account. mentions to explosions. also, there's a plot in the plot? that kinda got there out of nowhere, but i liked the way it turned out. probably do a second part later.
note: hey! i can't believe I actually managed to get one thing done and ready to be published in one day, i think i got lucky. im still working on the next part of how to break a routine in one year but it's been a rough journey, i don't know how it would end up in the end. still hope you like this and know that feedback is really appreciated! really love reading your comments and opinions 💜
1.5, part 2!
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You were static all the way back to the Complex. Your ears were still ringing from the vibrations of the bombs that exploded near you and which, by sheer luck, didn't cause your death. You couldn't look up from your clasped hands and you couldn't shake the chagrin in your chest that hadn't left you since you saw the look on Bucky Barnes' face when you were found in the rubble.
It was supposed to be a simple mission. Extraction of information, no more than five hours and you would return to the Complex. But it got complicated when you were ambushed, as if they were already expecting an Avengers team to show up in that building and they were ready for anything. You weren't supposed to face anything that day, otherwise you wouldn't have gone on the mission in the first place.
You knew you were always going to be the team's priority when they went on an extraction mission, whether it was information or people. You weren't the most skilled or the most resourceful, so the team had to keep their eyes on you and the mission objective. That in itself felt like a burden, so you always tried to just do your job and not complicate things for the others.
This time, however, you couldn't keep yourself safe, not even despite the orders given to you by the team and the mission leader: Bucky. You were casually perusing the shelves of a room where you knew the information they were looking for, which was vital to knowing the enemy you were dealing with at the moment, was to be found. You were so close to getting it that electricity surged through your limbs and little shots of adrenaline coursed through your body.
But, at that moment, Bucky's voice reached your hearing.
“Y/N, get out of there right now and meet Wanda on the first floor.”
“Hold on a second. I've almost got it.”
“I told you to get out of there right now. It wasn't a goddamn recommendation.”
“Can't you wait a second, Bucky? This is the key to everything and you know it.”
“I don't give a fuck about those documents, Y/N! Get out of there right now!”
And you should have listened to him. You should have listened to him the first time. But you always had this constant need to prove yourself, to make your time count for others and for them to notice that you were worth something. That you weren't a burden on the team. For a while the line of that goal was blurred, you didn't know if you were trying to convince them or yourself. On that occasion, you decided to make the decision to prove your worth and stay to find out what they had spent weeks focusing their time on.
“Fuck,” you heard Bucky curse. “Wanda, can you come in for-?”
The sound of a large explosion caused horrible interference on the team's communicators.
Sadly, until that moment you understood that maybe you should have listened to the team leader. Still, you held your place for a few more seconds until you found your target. But it was too late by the time the building began to shake.
It had taken the team about twenty-five minutes to find you. They didn't even know how you had survived.
“Bucky, what happened in-?”
“I'll give the mission report to Fury later,” the man cut off Steve Rogers' words, walking past him without giving him a glance, and continued on his way straight to the entrance of the Complex.
Steve turned his gaze until his eyes rested on yours. You felt like you had a lot of words stuck in your throat, a lot of overflowing feelings that you couldn't control. You just looked down again and approached him to hand over the mission objective. For which you risked your life almost without thinking. Then you walked straight back to your little room and didn't leave for the rest of the day.
---
Your friendship with Bucky was great. From the moment you joined the group, he was the person you hit it off with the fastest, surprising almost everyone on the team. Even before you got to know Bucky, even though you didn't consider yourself an outgoing person, you would tell him stories about your day and mundane things you did every day. At first you didn't even know if the man was listening to you, you just knew he was there and never left until you were done talking.
The situation wasn't so bad. You were used to talking to yourself since you started living on your own, a couple of years before you joined the team. Sometimes when Bucky came into the kitchen or appeared in the living room, you were already mumbling to yourself about something.
For a while you never knew why he stayed to listen to you.
And months went by like that. Each time you would show up wherever he was or he would show up wherever you were and you would just tell him something. A story from your childhood, a story from your grandparents' lives, a news item from around the world, an extremely strange and bizarre fun fact.
That little interaction was something you quickly got used to.
That is, until outsiders had to dip their spoon in and stick ideas that didn't belong in your head. Ideas you weren't supposed to have or even consider once. You knew it, but you learned it again the hard way.
“Have you seen Bucky today?” you asked Sam Wilson once when you walked into the kitchen.
“No,” the man quickly replied, finishing his coffee.
You pursed your lips and were already on your way back to look for him elsewhere when Sam's voice reached your ears again.
“You hit it off pretty quick with him, huh? I thought he was a tough nut to crack.”
“Don't talk about him as a thing. And it's really not that complicated to get to know him. You just have to make an effort and not push.”
“Roger that, Captain,” Sam smiled and took a sip of his coffee.
Hearing that lit a light bulb in your head.
“And have you seen Steve?”
Sam shook his head as he lowered his mug to rest it on the kitchen counter. “No. They must be together because I haven't seen them since yesterday. Maybe they went out on a mission?”
You nodded at his words, thoughtfully.
“But he didn't tell me he had to leave today…” you mumbled, but it reached Sam's ears.
“Does he usually tell you what he does in the day, too?”
You turned to look at him, distracted.
“Something like that. He only does that when I ask him to go shopping with me.”
“He goes shopping with you? Really?”
“Sure,” you quickly replied focusing all your attention on his surprised face. “It's a dangerous world for women, you know? I can't take chances.”
“Clint goes shopping once a month. You've never ordered from him?”
“No, I like to walk around the supermarkets and look at every single thing on the shelves. Clint is very fast and boring.”
“Ah, so the only person you feel comfortable with at those times is Bucky.”
You shook your head in a nod, completely unaware of what the man was trying to imply with his words.
“Natasha once accompanied me, but because she flashed the knife hidden on her hip at every man who saw us for more than five seconds, she was banned from more than seven venues and the police were almost called.”
“Mmm,” Sam nodded. “Sounds very much in keeping.”
“So yeah, that's why Bucky is my shopping buddy. Steve is very inquisitive, Tony brags every two minutes about how quick and easy he could do the market from the app on his phone, Wanda gets lost in the movie section and I can hardly ever get her out and you just don't shop because you leave it all to Clint.”
“And Bruce?”
“He leaves a list for Clint or asks FRIDAY to take note of every time he says he needs something so she can forward it to Clint.”
“Wow, who knew the Avengers were such bad shopping buddies.”
“Yeah. Bucky just walks with me, reaches for things that are too high and does his own shopping quietly. Or sometimes we chat. About shopping stuff.”
“That's very domestic of him.”
You let out a short laugh, agreeing with his description. It was something you thought about from time to time.
“Bucky is a very domestic person, actually.”
“You seem to know him well.”
“Maybe so. Only from what I can see of him by his actions.”
“He's not very active with you in talks then.”
“Not very much. But if you can get to know him well, it's easy to tell what he means just by his behaviors.”
Sam gave you a nod, his coffee on the counter long forgotten.
Then, as if his mind hadn't processed what he meant, out of his mouth came the last words you would have wanted to hear in the world.
“You two would make a good couple.”
You snapped out of your head for a moment, almost abruptly. You turned to look at him as if he had a magnet that attracted your gaze and you almost pulled a lung out of your chest from how loudly you snorted at those words. That man had lost his mind.
“What?”
“What?” Sam repeated, his brow furrowing without losing the hint of amusement it caused him to see you so flustered for saying something so mundane. “It's no secret to anyone that you're the person he spends the most time with in the entire Complex. You do a lot of things together, including shopping. Like a couple would. You know what? You already act like a couple even if it's not official.”
“You have no idea what you're talking about.”
“Oh, but I do have an idea. We all have eyes here, Y/N. It's not hard to notice the look in both of our eyes when-”
“All right, that's enough!” you exclaimed, and Sam just shrugged. “I don't want you ever hinting like that again, is that clear?”
And he didn't do it again. But you should have paid more attention when he spoke in the plural. Even though he was the first, he wasn't the only one to express his opinion freely about your friendly relationship with Bucky when you didn't ask for it. It was as if Sam unleashed a horde of unwanted comments about the normal, domestic things you did with Bucky.
It wasn't long before you began to feel uncomfortable when the two of you were in some room in the Complex with some third party who was intruding.
“Are you okay?” Bucky asked you once you were in the common room of the Complex.
You remembered turning to look at him in bewilderment as you snapped out of your cloud of thoughts. You saw him sitting next to you, a safe distance away. Like two normal friends. You were telling him a story your mother had told you about your grandmother many years ago when you felt a look on your face. You ignored it at first completely because you were too engrossed in your story and felt you didn't care if anyone else came into the room.
But then you met Clint's eyes. And everything went into a tailspin.
“Yeah. All good,” you shook your head trying to play it down, but you underestimated Bucky's knowledge of you. “Why?”
“You were quiet.”
“For less than ten seconds,” you let out a nervous laugh. In that moment you felt like a pressure cooker, your mind moving anxiously like the lid blowing the air out.
You noticed out of the corner of your eye that Bucky averted his gaze and you turned to look at him to realise that he had focused his attention on the person sitting in one of the far armchairs with a comic book in his hands. He looked so deep in concentration that his presence in the room was barely noticeable.
“Does it bother you that Clint is here?”
“What?” you exclaimed, suddenly a little louder than you should have. “No, of course not, why would it bother me?”
Bucky arched an eyebrow.
“That's what I'm trying to understand.”
His unwavering expression couldn't give you any answer as to what was going through his head. You mentally berated yourself for trying to find out something you didn't want to know, that you shouldn't even be considering.
“Even if it bothered me that Clint was here, why would that be relevant?”
The man next to you raised his eyebrows as if you'd asked the question with the most obvious answer in the world.
“Because you're uncomfortable.”
You frowned.
“Do you care that much that I'm uncomfortable?”
“Yes, because you haven't finished the story. I still don't know what happened to the chicken.”
His words left your mind blank for a few seconds. You didn't know whether to be flattered, because he seemed genuinely interested in what you were telling him, or offended because he seemed to take it only as a method of entertainment. Either way, the important thing was that you had his attention, right?
Oh, no. No, no, no.
You were suddenly annoyed to realise that your thoughts were taking the wrong turn, being fully influenced by the words Sam and the others had let out about your relationship with Bucky. You couldn't allow yourself to drift slowly into a place you didn't want to return to, because you knew well the consequences and side effects. Even though sometimes you felt you were already in that place.
You were fine with the way you were, nothing else mattered. You were fine with the way you were, nothing else mattered. You were fine just with the way you were, nothing else mattered….
“Do you want to go somewhere else?”
“You know this is the longest conversation we've ever had?”
Impulsively you changed the topic of conversation. And you knew Bucky had noticed by the way his eyes narrowed and he didn't say anything for a few seconds. You stood in silence, a small staring battle, Bucky trying to make you give in, until he let out an exhausted sigh and averted his gaze.
“It's not the longest conversation.”
“Yes, it is. You talked to me more than five times.”
Bucky let out a short disbelieving laugh, his head jerking in rhythm with the sound coming out of his mouth. You watched him carefully for the duration of the gesture, because it wasn't something that happened very often.
“I'm sure we've had longer conversations.”
“The monosyllables you answer me with at the mall don't count.”
Bucky let out a breath and his lips pressed into a thin line. It was your turn to laugh, genuinely amused. His eyes flickered up to meet yours.
“You give yourself a lot more credit than you should,” you told him after a while, when your laughter had subsided and his expression was more serene.
“Yeah, whatever,” he mumbled. “What happened to the chicken?”
Over time, you learned to manage your awkwardness so that Bucky wouldn't suspect your uncomfortable behaviour and avoid questions you didn't want to answer. Sometimes, you thought you were excellent at hiding what your body wanted to show with its language, and other times you felt that Bucky just didn't bring up the subject to avoid making you even more uncomfortable. But surely he wanted to ask.
So that was the routine you usually had. It wasn't strange for anyone to see you walking around the Complex together or going out together, and it wasn't strange for you to see everyone with knowing smiles as you passed each other.
Even though it was difficult, you felt you coped well. Always ignoring that voice in the back of your head that tried to alert you that something had happened in the feeling system. If you just ignored it, then it was nothing.
Everything was still relatively normal.
Until that damned mission where you decided not to listen to him.
It had been a week since the incident and if Bucky had looked at you at least once when you were in the same place, that was a lot to say.
Sam had tried to ask you several times what had happened on the mission and why Bucky didn't even acknowledge your presence when sometimes you were right next to him, but you were never able to answer him. You didn't want to talk about it when every time you remembered the cold look he'd given you the moment Wanda removed the chunk of concrete that had almost fallen on top of you, only being cushioned by the wall you'd stuck to before it all came crashing down. His light eyes had always felt warm, made you feel welcome to him the moment you wanted to enter, but in that instant his eyes were watching you as if he wanted you to disappear from the face of the earth.
You couldn't bear the memory. Not when you were already used to his presence and his silences; to his short laughs and mumbled answers. Not when you were already starting to feel comfortable with the ideas you were getting in your head despite trying to convince yourself otherwise; that maybe Sam and the others weren't so wrong. That maybe… they might be right.
But they were just that. Ideas. Stupid thoughts that were going around in your head to salve your poor heart.
Ever since you came back from the mission, you knew how unlikely it was that everyone else was right. The only thing they saw between the two of you, that they talked about so much, was your own feelings bouncing off all the walls that Bucky had and that he hadn't dropped at any point like you thought he had. It was only the reflection of your adoration for him in his eyes. There was never really anything about him that gave them to understand that he felt the same way you did about him, it was only the extent of your love that covered him too.
But nothing was ever really reciprocated.
And coming to that conclusion wasn't as difficult as you thought it would be.
Being hopeful wasn't your style. Although you were always cheerful and tried to put your best face to the world, you weren't one to fall easily for the words and actions of others. That's why you kept your relationship with Bucky at bay for so long, because you knew it wasn't possible for him to see you with the love you longed to give him. You were always sure. But then, and you didn't really know how you got to that point, you began to think that, if other people could see it so clearly, then suddenly it might be true. Maybe Bucky could return your feelings and then the world wasn't just black and white.
Wrong.
For a moment you allowed yourself to forget and let your defences down for that little flame of hope, even though you knew you shouldn't have, that you hadn't done it in years for something and it didn't have to be any different this time. You did, and it was a mistake.
“So, what do you say?”
You raised your head to look at Wanda's expectant face. Her raised eyebrows and the way she moved her hands in her lap gave you a hint that she was feeling nervous. She was trying to hide it, but you could also see that she was a little afraid. Her light, barely perceptible voice gave you the feeling that she was afraid of unleashing a storm with her conjectures.
“That it's crazy.”
“It's definitely crazy,” the woman in front of you sighed, her eyes drifting from your figure to her surroundings trying to deal with the weight of the revelations she'd had these past few days.
Your body leaned against the armchair behind you, and you lowered your head until you could look at the book lying on your crossed legs. You looked at the letters and frowned as you tried to understand again what it was all about.
“That could also be just a story.”
“I don't think so,” Wanda mused, then raised her head to look at you. “There's a reason these books are here.”
“Yeah, just like there's a reason for us not to be in here.”
“Then why did you follow me?”
Wanda crossed her arms under her chest, an annoyed expression taking over her face.
“I didn't think you were going to show me something like this,” you admitted, taking the book in your hands and running your eyes over the text and figures once more. “I didn't even think it was possible.”
“I told you my dreams were starting to become more accurate.”
You shook your head in a nod, your mind trying to figure out what that could mean for your friend's future. You knew it was possible that Wanda was doing her best not to see the whole horizon of negative possibilities emerging from that situation, but you were also aware of the weight she must be feeling with all those thoughts running through her head coupled with the likelihood of not having an answer. Your head schemed for a possible solution that might not be welcome.
“Why don't you go talk to Strange?”
Wanda twisted her lips, the reaction you expected.
“I get the impression that the first thing he'd do would be to lock me in his magical dungeon.”
You wanted to contradict her, but it was partly true. You knew Strange to be a man who didn't see nuance in black and white. It was only about good and bad, with no in-between. But you suggested it because he was the only person besides Wanda who knew as much about magic and sorcery as she did, even more thanks to the position he held. His methods were questionable, probably, but the range of his knowledge was something greater than either of you could question.
You closed the book and ran your fingers over the material of its cover, so stiff and dirty that you could barely even try to guess what century it was from.
“Even if what this book says is true, we don't have the original book to confirm it. We don't even know if it exists.”
“The Darkhold is real,” Wanda contradicted you almost immediately, and the certainty in her voice sent a shiver down your spine.
“What, you've seen it in dreams too?”
When Wanda averted her eyes from yours, you had to restrain the urge to hit her over the head with the book you were holding.
“Wanda!”
“I'm sorry!”
You saw her quickly get up from the floor and start walking around the place you had taken over in the library you were in. From the outside, it looked like a small room with a few shelves full of books, but the further you went in, the less it seemed like it would have any end to it. It was one of the largest rooms in the Complex. And, courtesy of Wanda, you now knew that it was the only room with another hidden room that almost ninety-five percent of the Complex staff were barred from entering. You were convinced that only the Director, Maria Hill, Tony Stark and Stephen Strange were allowed in there.
Now, how could Wanda concentrate enough energy to find and open the hidden entrance to that place? A complete mystery to you.
“The Darkhold was the first thing I saw before my dreams started getting weird. It was only a couple of weeks ago.”
“After you dreamt about it, you started having the lucid dreams?”
“Yes, it was very strange,” Wanda shook her head and stopped her feet in front of you, her expression thoughtful as if her mind was conjuring up all her dreams at once. “Sometimes I dream things where I'm sure it's me, that if I looked in a mirror I'd be sure it was me. But other times, I feel like my dream is focused on showing me someone else's memories. Like I'm inside someone else's mind… but that person is me.”
The woman looked at you, her face contracted in confusion and exhaustion.
“Why didn't you tell me this before?”
Wanda sat back down on the floor in front of you, her legs crossed and her elbows resting on her knees. You watched her run her hands over her face repeatedly before answering.
“I didn't want to worry you. I didn't want to worry anyone. At first I had thought this was too crazy for anyone to believe me, but when I came here and found that book I started to fear for myself. I didn't want to get locked up if anyone found out.”
“Don't say that. No one's going to lock you up.”
You threw the book with the stiff cover somewhere on the floor and moved from your spot to approach your friend. You didn't hesitate for a second to wrap her in your arms and squeeze her against your body.
You didn't know how you had gone so many days without noticing the tiredness in her eyes and the dark bags under her eyes. You'd been so wrapped up in your own head that you hadn't even been able to notice when something was eating away at your friend's sanity. Being one of those things… mhm, you know….
“Don't worry. You're not going to go crazy and want to rule the universe. That sounds too surreal.”
“I'd like to know if my dreams are fabrications or visions.”
You turned away from the woman, your brows furrowing at the implication of her words.
“You're not going to become what that book says.”
“But what if…?”
“No, Wanda.”
“What if it's tipping me off?”
“And who's doing it?” you inquired as you sat back on your heels, your gaze focused on your friend's obfuscated expression. “The Darkhold? Some silly alternate version of yourself from another universe? Now that's crazy!”
Wanda turned her head away and her shoulders slumped.
“That would mean my dreams are unexplained. They're just dreams.”
“Maybe that's for the best. Even the multiverse theory hasn't been proven enough for us to conjecture beyond our own reality.”
“Still, isn't it strange?”
“Of course it is. It's just too weird. I just meant that it doesn't mean you're destined to become that bizarre alter ego.”
You saw her press her lips into a line, then nod her head slightly. She didn't really look convinced, and neither were you, to be honest. Of everything she had told you, you couldn't understand half of it, and the other half you could barely believe was true. The magic was a few levels above your understanding of reality and altering it all in a few minutes was proving to be a really complicated job.
Still, seeing her anguished face at the possibility of what her dreams and that book implied, you knew you had to say something to try to calm the thoughts in her head. Even if it was something tiny that couldn't even come close to being true. You couldn't let those evil ideas fill her head and make her think she was some kind of villain when it couldn't be further from the truth.
If that was the future, it wasn't the future of the Wanda in front of you, her gaze lost and her eyes full of fear. Someone who worried like that about what might happen, even if she wasn't completely convinced of it, only thinking of the slightest possibility, couldn't have an ounce of evil in her.
“Maybe you're right-”
“What the fuck are you two doing here?”
You cringed as you heard a new voice join in the room when you hadn't even heard the footsteps of anyone approaching. Least of all from the two people who had just appeared down the same path you and Wanda had come down.
“Uhm…”
Your voice came out shaky, not at the prospect of receiving yet another punishment for being in a forbidden place for the level you were at as an agent, you'd already seen that coming, but because standing next to a very angry Tony Stark was Bucky. And he was staring at you so hard you feared he might punch a hole in your soul.
You felt Wanda's gaze on you. You turned to see her slowly, as if making any sudden movements would upset the bundle of fury in front of you. You could almost see the veins in her forehead pop.
With one glance, you knew that Wanda had no idea that the room had any kind of sensor. Even though it would make sense for it to have one, it would be illogical because it's a door hidden with magic. Normal people wouldn't notice it by looking through matter or something.
Nevertheless, it was magic that was what it was all about. Surely Strange would have some magical failsafe, kind of.
“None of you are going to respond?”
“I believe the situation responds on its own,” Wanda answered him, and Tony's dark eyes settled on her in a matter of seconds.
For a moment you thought his face had faltered, that his expression had slumped, but just as quickly you noticed, just as quickly it was gone.
Then, his gaze wandered across the floor where you stood with a number of books around you, until it settled on the book you had been reading moments before his arrival. You hadn't realised where it had fallen when you threw it when you got up to hug Wanda, but that must have been your lucky day because it was far enough away to make him think that it had only been taken out, but not opened.
Tony moved quickly to take the book in his hands and then gave you a wary look.
“Did you open this?”
As if we were going to say yes.
“No,” you replied quickly, averting your gaze from the frozen man behind Tony.
“Good.”
You watched him tuck the small, stiff book into his jacket before glancing back at the mess of books on the floor.
“Move along. Strange isn't going to be happy.”
The two men moved sideways, clearing the way for you and Wanda to exit the way you came.
Without a second's hesitation, you both got up and started walking in the direction of the exit.
“How the hell did you know where the entrance was?” Tony questioned Wanda once you were all out of the hidden room, and the aforementioned turned around to watch the door slam shut before disappearing.
"I guess I got lucky."
Tony clicked his tongue, but said nothing more. He turned on his heels to begin his walk towards the library exit followed by Bucky who clearly didn't give you a single word other than judging looks.
Wanda nudged you lightly with her body, the previous topic almost completely forgotten, with a half smile on her face. You didn't know if it was good to drop the subject so spontaneously, but you did know that you didn't want her to continue to have those thoughts running through her head.
“You haven't spoken to Bucky?”
“I'm puzzled that the subject is funny to you.”
“I'm not amused,” Wanda tried to rectify, lowering her voice as she saw that the two men in front of her had stopped at the library exit. “But I don't think he's mad at you.”
“Today is your day of the wildest theories I've ever heard, how can he possibly not be mad at me?”
Wanda sighed and watched the back of the aforementioned, who was apparently talking to Steve Rogers.
“You scared us all that day. But Bucky was… terrified. I knew you were alive, and I told him, but he wouldn't believe me until he could see it with his own eyes. He was too scared at the time. And, to be honest, I think that scare made him realise something he doesn't want to accept now. That's probably why he's staying away from you.”
You watched your friend with narrowed eyes, your body turned in her direction.
“Did you get inside his head?”
“Of course not!”
“Because that's wildly accurate, Wanda. How can you conclude something like that just by looking at someone?”
“I've had a week to do it,” the woman waved her hand in the air, downplaying the matter before resuming her walk when the men up ahead finally moved. “And I happen to be very good at reading people's body language.”
“Yeah, right.”
Wanda grunted at your tone of voice.
“I really didn't get inside his head, Y/N. I swore I wouldn't do it again and I'm keeping my word.”
“Alright, let's say I believe you,” you agreed and turned to look at her just as she rolled her eyes at your words. “That's not reason enough to talk to him.”
“And why not?” Wanda raised her voice, quizzical. “I practically gave you the answer.”
“Knowing doesn't make things any easier, woman.”
Wanda let out a whine so loud and exaggerated that several of the people walking past her frowned at her.
“The real answer is to just talk to him. Do you know how many problems are solved a year just by talking?”
You shook your head in denial. “He's avoiding me-”
“And you seem to be okay with that.”
“I'm not.”
“Then why haven't you done anything to change it yet?”
You knew she was right, but to be honest and to no one's surprise, you didn't want to deal with the confrontation and find out that what you always thought and the reason you kept yourself on edge was true. Even though it clearly was. But to have the chance to hear it come from his mouth directly? You were definitely past having that experience. You no longer doubted that his feelings for you were as non-existent as you first thought and that you should never have listened to people's words, giving yourself false hope. You didn't want to face your own mind and the fact that you got into this heart trouble on your own when you had always been so cautious. Weighing the risk of Bucky pushing so far inside your head that you knew the real darkness was reason enough to be a little content with silence.
Talking to him would solve a percentage of the situation, the professional. You would apologise another thousand times for not listening to him during the mission, you would tell him that you would do everything in your power not to react that way again, and that was it. But the other percentage of the situation would not be resolved; the percentage that involves you more than him. Even if you apologise and he accepts your apology, nothing could assure you that things would go back to the way they were before, that you would go back to being attached to each other as you have been since you met.
And that should be good, because you could finally get away from him and get all those feelings off your chest and out of your mind like you should have done in the first place to avoid the eventuality of him suddenly knowing too much about you, but at the same time you didn't want to end something that could have been so good. Even without getting romantic, your friendship with Bucky was one of the things you cherished the most, and you didn't want to make yourself forget it as if it had never happened.
“What is it that scares you?”
“That I was right all along.”
Wanda gave you her reprimanding look and paused to stare at you with that scowl on her face. You inhaled sharply and stopped in front of her, watching her expectantly.
“I'll take Tony,” she blurted out suddenly, not wiping that expression off her face.
“What?”
“I'm taking him and you better hope that when we meet again you have good news.”
“What are you talking about?”
Without answering, Wanda turned her body and walked in the direction of the three men who had stopped once again to talk. Bucky and Tony had their backs to you, but you could see the typical serious expression disappear from Steve's face to give way to surprise the moment Wanda landed in the middle of him and Tony with a big smile.
The woman shared a few words with the stunned blond, before turning to Tony and sending you a fleeting glance over the man's shoulder.
“Don't you think you're keeping Strange waiting too long?”
“How did you know that he-?”
“I didn't. But you already gave me the answer. We'd better go now.”
Following her order, Wanda curled her arm around the arm of a paralyzed Tony and started walking, waving goodbye to the others.
“Bye, Y/N! Don't stand in the middle of the hallway!”
You cringed as the gaze of the people walking past you landed on you, and gritted your teeth as you saw Steve's gaze on you. Without a bit of disguise, Steve ran his gaze over you and then over Bucky and back again as if he was having a short circuit inside his head.
You weren't too far away to notice Bucky's stiff shoulders, and you guessed he was saying goodbye to Steve when the blond turned his gaze to watch him. Seconds later, the black-haired man started to walk the way Wanda had gone with Tony, but Steve stopped him before he took any more steps away from the tense atmosphere.
“Wait,” you heard Steve's voice and flinched as you watched Bucky look down to see the Captain's hand clutch his left arm, then look up and give him a look that you knew would have chilled you from head to toe, but Steve seemed to ignore it as if it was an everyday occurrence. “Actually, since I've got you two in one place, I need to talk to you.”
You watched the blond shake his head pointing to the door next to him then walk in his direction.
You followed them from a distance and closed the door behind you. It was one of the small common rooms around the Complex. You still remembered how surprised you had been when you first arrived to see how many clear work areas they had in that place. Of course, to house and protect the peace of mind of hundreds of workers.
Bucky slumped into one of the green armchairs carelessly and Steve stood on his feet in the middle of the room.
“I spoke to Fury this morning,” the blond began, alternating his gaze between the two of you. “You'll be back on a mission next week.”
You raised your head expecting to see that Steve was referring to Bucky, but no. He was staring at you from his position.
“So soon?”
“What do I have to do with this?”
You and Bucky spoke at the same time, and you couldn't hide the pain that settled in your chest hard as you heard those were the first words you'd heard from him in seven days.
Steve pursed his lips and alternated his gaze again before speaking again.
“Fury agreed to let you go on the mission after a recon team inspects the site in case of possible attacks.”
You nodded slightly. That was a little ugly to hear, too. Just a little.
“You'll go with Clint and Bucky on the mission.”
You were expecting those words to come out of his mouth because there was no other reason to have locked them both in here. What you didn't expect (though you should have) was to see Bucky roll his eyes and drop his head on the back of the couch in the most horrible gesture of disgust and ennui you'd ever seen from him since you'd known him. During this week of being a zero to the left for the aforementioned, you'd noticed that Bucky was very expressive when he wanted someone to realise that they were strongly hated by him.
It wasn't something you wanted to know, really.
“Clint will be the backup so he'll stay inside the Quinjet flying over the structure in case of a possible attack. You and Y/N are going to enter the building and perform the extraction of one person.”
One person? That was new. You could hardly remember the last time you'd had such a mission.
“Why did he pick me?”
“I have no idea, Buck. He just gave me the order to tell you.”
“Who's the person we're supposed to extract?”
“That I don't know,” Steve replied. “Fury was very cautious with the information. Any minute now the report should reach you.”
“And you're busy?” Bucky asked again, his gaze focused solely on the blond standing in front of him.
At the time, you hated what he was doing. You understood that he didn't want to go on that mission with you because he didn't feel comfortable or just didn't want to see you, but it cost him nothing to have a little, just a little compassion enough to not try to get rid of you and that mission right in front of you as if you weren't listening to him.
“Bucky…”
Steve sighed, but the man in front of him didn't soften his expression or make any pretense of taking back his words.
“If you've got a problem with this, you should go talk it over with Fury,” the blond recommended, not answering his question directly, sending him a hard glare before turning to look at you again. “See you later.”
You nodded in his direction and the man quickly left the room.
The silence that followed was deadly.
You watched the man continue to sit in that armchair, his jaw tense, his hands clenched and his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him. He was so still he looked like a statue. It was scary.
You tried to take a tentative step in his direction, but noticing your movement roused him from his trance and he stood up quickly. He let out a sigh and walked out of the room without looking at you.
You felt a kind of courage catch in your throat when you called out to him.
“Bucky.”
“No,” the man replied almost instantly, his body near the door turning violently to stare at you and point his index finger at you. The angry look he gave you made you regret all the decisions in your life that had brought you to that moment. “I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to hear your apology. I don't want anything from you.”
With each word he moved closer to you until you had to start backing away. You were too surprised at how he had exploded just hearing you call out to him. He must have had too much pent up. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to do this at the time.
“If you want to blow off steam, talk to a fucking wall. But don't come near me or try to fix something you broke with your bare hands.”
You felt the air that entered your body freeze your lungs. His piercing eyes and angry expression shattered any willpower you had collected since Steve left the room, but it was the way his voice broke as he was finishing speaking that took the words right out of your mouth.
“You could have simply listened to me and you didn't. That's all. There is nothing you can apologise for because you yourself decided, within your will, that your life mattered nothing compared to the goal of that fucking mission.”
His eyes wouldn't leave yours and you hated the way you felt the prior sting of tears make your vision blurrier each time because you didn't want to miss a single detail of his face. He was so angry, furious, disappointed and... desperate to let you know how you had made him feel.
“And I don't know if you do, but I don't see what excuse is good enough to justify that.”
The thread of tension you felt in the air was choking you and you didn't know what to do to stop the tears from escaping your eyes. You would have expected anything but such an explosion of rage against you. It wasn't normal for Bucky to have such outbursts, and it also seemed that he knew exactly what points to make because you suddenly felt helpless in the way he was exposing his thoughts about you. Which perhaps weren't far from the truth.
“I didn't want to give you an excuse,” you were barely able to reply, at the tense look he was giving you. Your mind was working hard to avoid touching on the subject he was apparently trying to bring up.
“I don't see how that's any better.”
“I just wanted to apologise. I know I was wrong, okay? I think about it every day since we got back and I know I made a mistake. But I didn't throw my life away by just thinking about accomplishing the mission.”
Bucky let out a raw, lazy laugh without a hint of humor. You felt a shiver run through your body and it was unwelcome.
“I bet you didn't even think about the possibility of getting out alive after you heard the first explosion and that didn't matter to you.”
“It wasn't like that!” you replied instantly, raising your voice to match his, your head suddenly panicking.
“You didn't care because you were only thinking about the mission!”
“But how could we come back empty-handed, Bucky!? All that effort and time to be left with nothing!? Wasn't that worse?”
“Of course not! What the fuck makes you think we'd prefer an inconclusive fucking lead on a team member's life?”
“For God's sake, Bucky Barnes!” you roared and turned away from the man, a wave of anger coursing through your body burning away any trace of sadness you might have felt just moments ago. You knew that feeling and it wasn't welcome. You knew this argument wasn't going to end well, but seeing the look on Bucky's face you knew he wasn't just going to walk away if you asked him to.
Even though your mind was focused on avoidance, you tried to prepare yourself for the possibility that you might end up saying things you shouldn't, too.
“And don't give me any fucking shit about how you knew everything was going to be okay because I don't believe you.”
“Well don't believe me,” you exclaimed turning to look at him. “Don't believe anything that comes out of my mouth if that's what you want. That's not going to erase the fact that I do regret not listening to you and risking my life like that.”
“Lies.”
You half-opened your lips, your face contorted in disbelief. It couldn't have been that easy for him…
“I just told you-”
“And less than twenty seconds ago you said how dare I even think about coming back empty-handed, instead of thinking about how I'd come back to tell the rest of the team that you were dead.”
“But I'm not dead.”
Bucky shook his head.
“Now, you're just telling me what I want to hear.”
“No, I'm telling you the truth.”
“You're not telling me anything, Y/N! Are you sorry for what you did? Good for you. But tell me something, would you do it differently if you had another chance?”
“What?”
“If you woke up tomorrow and we were on that mission again, me yelling at you to get out of the building, would you?”
You didn't even have to think twice to know the answer, but saying it out loud was much scarier than just being silent. Silence.
“I thought so.”
Still, even knowing you didn't have the upper hand in that fight, you tried to convince yourself otherwise.
“That doesn't explain anything, Bucky, I don't-”
“Stop lying already. If you really wanted to apologise to me you could have at least had the decency to tell the truth.”
“Fuck,” you muttered, the anger and irritability of your cowardice coming out to take it out on anyone but you. “You're a fucking genius then, aren't you? You know everything.”
“Well, it looks like you're the only one who doesn't.”
“You can't know what was going through my head at the time. You don't know everything!”
“Then fucking tell me: what were you thinking?”
Your mind went blank. And then words. Thoughts. Images. Nothing encouraging, nothing that would help your case. Again, fear came over you and you couldn't respond. You knew you were playing with fire, especially with him. Especially with the man who had learned to see beyond the cheerful, untroubled woman you were always trying to be.
“I was listening to you and I wanted to get out-”
“Then why didn't you?”
You didn't want him to keep pushing because you felt you wouldn't be able to keep running in the opposite direction. The weight of his words was more than the weight of your silence could bear. Silence.
“Now, with what face are you going to tell me you weren't lying?”
I'm sorry.
“This isn't fair.”
“Oh, so you're the one going through an injustice now. Funny.”
Your body felt his words hurt you, and too much, and instinctively your mind and your defence mechanisms leapt to take control of your words, even though you didn't mean to. Even though you knew you shouldn't because someone in that room was right and it wasn't you. Because you couldn't control the way your mind sought to get out and hide from the confrontations that questioned the way you lived. That was why you kept your distance. It was why you had boundaries with Bucky.
Damn the moment when you decided to believe what others said.
“Why does it matter now what happened back then? I'm here now, giving you an apology you don't want to accept just because I wanted to try to save what we had.”
Bucky raised his eyebrows and stood in a state of stupefaction for a few seconds. His eyes twitched and blinked rapidly as if his head didn't believe what he had heard and he mentally replayed it several times.
“What we had? What exactly did we have?”
“A friendship, Bucky! A mutual appreciation. A mutual respect.”
How you dare to talk about respect?
“Having a friendship implies that you worry and care about what the other person feels.”
Bucky watched you expectantly. His furious face gave no room for contradiction and you soon found yourself between a rock and a hard place. This man wasn't going to give up until he got what he wanted, and you didn't know how things would turn out when he did. You didn't speak, waiting for him to continue.
“When you were in that building, did you think about me, besides cursing me a thousand times for not letting you accomplish the mission while I was trying to save your life?”
Silence.
“Did you care, at any point, what would have become of me if you hadn't gotten out of that building?”
“Bucky, but that's not what-”
“Can you just answer…! Answer the fucking question.”
Silence.
“I… there was too much going on in my head at the same time.”
“But you weren't thinking about getting out of there!” he screamed.
“I thought I was a burden!" you screamed back, his hard stare breaking your self-control and you lowered your head. “I thought you always have to take care of me when I go on missions. I thought I don't really contribute anything important to the team. I thought I'd be a failure if I came back empty-handed when I was so close to making it. I thought… I thought nothing else mattered but accomplishing the mission.”
The last you admitted almost with shame. And though you struggled to think otherwise, your own mind accused you of not being strong enough to endure. You had to feel that shame because someone wasn't really supposed to know, not even for the fact that you had just admitted to him that you had crudely lied to him by excusing yourself behind a false apology, but because that was something that wasn't supposed to leave your head. Because they would always leave, they would abandon you, they wouldn't look back twice. And you were expectantly torn to see the moment when that would happen.
Bucky was just watching you. When you looked up to see him, you noticed that his angry expression had softened just a little. His gaze hovered over your figure for a few seconds until he let out a sigh.
“You've got a lot to work on, Y/N.”
And he left the room. You didn't try or think to stop him for a second. The stark truth of what you had said echoed off the walls and came back at you with such force that you feared it would tear you to pieces. But you did nothing about it. You let it come back because you didn't have the strength to move, you didn't have the strength to do more.
When you let your knees give way under the weight of your body, you curled up next to the couch and cried. You cried as if having said that to Bucky, finally getting those thoughts you tried every day to suppress out, had activated a little reason in your mind. As if, suddenly, you could no longer pretend that everything was all right and try to hide things behind a smile and a story.
You couldn't live your whole life believing that you could live behind a charade, after all.
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cuubism · 5 months
Text
been wanting to write a sort of grey-ace character first time for a while now, so here it is with dream and hob from the silly cafe universe. tackling grey-asexuality can be a tricky prospect as it has the possibility of falling into a "you just haven't met the right person yet" asexual erasure stereotype, but uninformed black and white judgements will exist in the world anyway regardless of whether we explore shades of grey. so here it is anyway, grey-ace dream. [rated E]
~~
Dream thought he would wait, be more patient, but it only took a few dates before he was following Hob home. Perhaps that already counted as waiting. He never knew what the timeline of these things was "supposed" to be.
But he knew he liked being with Hob. He liked when Hob held his hand, or hugged him. He discovered that Hob could easily tolerate his silent spells, often so annoying to others, by filling them with his own chatter. It was soothing to listen to him talk. He discovered that as easygoing as he usually seemed, Hob could be quite intense, too. On their third date, someone had hit on Dream rather aggressively at a bar—an unusual occurrence he'd had no idea how to react to—and Hob had told them not quite politely to shove off. This had made Dream feel all sorts of things.
Perhaps that was why he went home with Hob after their next date. He expected they would just fall into bed, wasn't that how these things usually went, at least in stories? But instead Hob cooked him dinner. And Dream learned that Hob was an excellent cook; truly, it seemed, his only weakness was coffee. Which called into question why he worked at a cafe of all places, but Dream wasn't about to complain when it was what had brought them together.
Hob fed him dinner, and a glass of very good wine, thus proving that his sommelier abilities were also up to par, and Dream might have been planning the rest of their lives in his mind. It was fine if Hob couldn’t make coffee, Dream could make the coffee, if only Hob would keep making dinner for him, and letting him stay in his cozy apartment, and holding his hand on top of the table.
He watched Hob’s hands as he poured more wine. Hob had very nice hands; Dream knew what they felt like, now, holding his, and cradling his jaw, and carding through his hair as they kissed. Hob’s shirt looked very soft, and clung appealingly to his shoulders. Dream found his gaze drawn to Hob’s forearms, where he’d rolled up his sleeves.
It was hard to focus on the conversation, but he managed. Afterwards they wound up on the couch, sitting just close enough to be touching, and Dream was not sure what he was supposed to do. He had figured Hob had brought them back to his home because he wanted to have sex. That was a common expectation, was it not? Dream was not very good at predicting these things. Perhaps he was meant to initiate?
This was often the point where his past attempts at dating had gone sideways. Trying to intuit what he was meant to do usually did not go well for Dream. Normally whatever he did was, somehow, wrong.
“Dream?”
Dream shook himself back to the present. Hob was looking at him, head tilted, a slanted smile on his face. “You looked like you were thinking about something very deeply,” Hob said, a question in it.
He had draped his arm across the back of the couch behind Dream’s shoulders, and started trailing his fingertips up and down the back of Dream’s neck. It made Dream’s skin prickle pleasantly. Perhaps… it didn’t matter what he was ‘meant’ to do? And only whether he wanted to do it?
He was not sure he had ever truly wanted to before. Not the way that he did with Hob.
He leaned into Hob’s side, into the circle of his hold, and kissed him.
Hob made a low sound of surprise, but kissed him back, wrapping his arm around Dream’s shoulders to pull him closer. As always, it was so lovely to kiss him. There was something comforting about it, which Dream had never felt when kissing before, and more than that, it sparked something in him. That feeling, it was new. When Hob kissed him, when Hob ran a hand through his hair, when Hob pulled him close with a hand around his waist—it made something in him go hot, something he hadn’t felt before. And... he wanted. Even if it was new, and unfamiliar.
He took a deep breath, and slid into Hob’s lap.
Hob took a sharp breath and braced him by the hips. Dream settled into his lap, resting his hands on Hob’s shoulders, a little shiver running through him. It was good, though, it felt good. He didn’t know exactly where it was going to go, but he wanted to find out.
“Well, hi, darling,” said Hob, a pleased smile growing on his face. “Fancy seeing you here.”
“You are horrible,” Dream told him, and Hob’s smile only deepened.
“You like me, though,” he said, ducking his head almost bashfully, and Dream kissed him, right above one eyebrow, overcome with fondness for him.
“I do,” he said. So much. So much that he felt things that were unruly and strange—but he wanted to feel them.
He tipped Hob’s face back up, thumbs hooked under his jaw, and kissed him. Hob hummed happily, sinking into the kiss. He slipped his hands under Dream’s shirt, fingertips pressing into his bare back, and Dream shuddered.
“Did you want to move things into the bedroom?” Hob murmured, lips brushing Dream’s. “Is that what that meant?”
Dream nodded, breathless, and then Hob was wrapping his arms around his thighs and picking him up. Dream squeaked as Hob stood up, holding on tight to the back of Hob’s neck, and Hob grinned at him. “You seemed to like it when I caught you.”
Dream had. Dream very much had. And he liked it now, Hob’s strong arms under his thighs, and how tightly they were pressed together. He felt all warm inside, like his body might set itself on fire in a flurry of a thousand sparks, and it was… scary. He hadn’t felt that way before, but he didn’t want it to stop. He wanted more.
“I did. I. Had wondered before if you would be able to pick me up,” he admitted, blushing, and Hob’s smile turned mischievous.
“Oh, yeah? I can do a lot more than that, love.”
“Like what?”
So Hob carried him into the bedroom. It didn’t seem very difficult for him, which made Dream’s stomach flip. When they reached his room, Hob tossed him on the bed. Dream landed with a gasp in the pillows.
“Like that,” Hob said, grinning. He tugged Dream’s shoes and socks off, and then his own, and Dream made grabby hands at him. Hob crawled up the bed after him, settling between his legs. His weight over Dream made him shiver pleasantly. He ran his hands up and down Hob’s arms, over his shirt, surprised by how much he truly wanted to touch him. And to have Hob touch him.
Hob kissed him deeply, then gazed down at him, his gaze heavy. Dream swallowed, throat dry. Hob stroked Dream’s hair. “You’re so pretty, you know.”
“Thank you,” said Dream, and Hob laughed. He kissed the corner of Dream’s mouth, then his cheek, little pecking kisses. He played with the hem of Dream’s shirt.
“Can I take your shirt off?”
Dream nodded, breathless, and Hob sat up enough that he could pull Dream’s shirt up and off over his head. He trailed his hands down Dream’s chest, over his stomach. Dream followed his touch, everything else fading to the background. He wished Hob would touch him all over. What a strange, scary, delightful feeling.
He tugged on Hob’s shirt, and Hob let him pull it off over his head. His chest was broad, and far hairier than Dream’s, and Dream stared, then laid his hands on Hob’s body, mesmerized.
“This is very flattering,” Hob said, humor in his voice, as Dream kept touching him. “What do you want, darling? Because I’d love to get my mouth on you.”
Dream’s attention was suddenly wrenched away from his examination of Hob’s chest by the fact that he was painfully hard. That Hob’s voice and words alone could do that—he hadn’t thought it was possible.
“Okay,” he said, voice tight.
Hob unbuttoned his jeans, and Dream lifted his hips so he could pull them off. Dream felt very exposed then, but Hob’s gaze on him was kind, and hot, as he looked Dream up and down. Dream reached for the waistband of Hob’s jeans—it suddenly felt very important that Hob be naked, too, if Dream was going to be. “Can you—?”
“Of course.” Hob slipped out of his own jeans, then sat before Dream on the bed again, only in his boxers, their legs brushing. Dream studied him, the strength of his thighs, of his hands, the weight of his arousal in his underwear. He had never gone this far with someone, wanted to go this far. He felt like he might combust. This was all so new, but he trusted Hob. He wanted to see where it would go.
Hob ran his hands up Dream’s legs, from his ankles, over his knees, up his thighs, thumbs brushing the crease where his thigh met his hip, and Dream shuddered, feeling heavy and warm and so very aware of everything around him. Hob was like a beacon, everything about him drew Dream’s eye, his presence so strong that everything in Dream wanted to go to him. Touch him, kiss him, lean on him, have Hob touch him. It was an overwhelming fire within him, consuming all sense.
“You’re so beautiful,” Hob said, voice a low rumble that Dream felt in his belly. “Tell me what you like, sweetheart?”
“I—” Dream didn’t know. He had rarely wanted any of it enough to consider it. He knew that he wanted Hob to touch him, but not much more detail than that.
“Wait, have you ever…?” Hob asked, suddenly unsure of himself, pulling his hands back. Dream did not want him to take his hands back, and briefly considered lying, saying, of course, of course I have, who hasn’t? But he didn’t want to lie to Hob. He shook his head.
“Shit.” Guilt settled on Hob’s features. He had nothing to feel bad for, nothing, Dream thought. “I didn’t mean to assume.”
“It is alright.” Dream huffed a laugh, but there was little humor in it. “It is a reasonable assumption, at our age, is it not?”
“Still. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
His mouth twisted in disappointment, and Dream took his hands, placed them back on his own legs. “You didn’t. I want to. If you’ll forgive my inexperience.”
“There’s nothing to forgive, Dream.” Hob stroked his thumbs lightly over Dream’s legs, more a soothing motion now. “Nothing. You want to?”
“I do,” Dream said, still a bit shaken by the realization. “I never have because… I never wanted anybody. Not the way that I want you.”
“Oh.” Hob’s lips tipped back up into a half-smile. “Never fell for anybody else, then?”
“Mean,” Dream grumbled, and Hob laughed.
“That’s okay.” He seemed to be coming around to the situation now; he leaned forward again so he was almost in Dream’s lap, and murmured against his cheek, “Just means I get to make sure your first time is just as good as you deserve.”
“You are very sure of yourself,” Dream said, but curled his fingers around Hob’s hips, holding him close.
“I know what I’m good at,” Hob said.
“In that case I should probably inform you that you are terrible at making coffee,” Dream said, and Hob laughed, the sound loud so close to Dream’s ear. It made him smile.
“Wow,” Hob said. “I know, okay? I’m not usually in charge of it. Normally I just bake.”
Dream pulled back just far enough to see his face. “You… are not?”
Hob gave him a bashful smile. “Just wanted the chance to see you. Would have missed you if I was working in back.”
Dream stared at him, astonished—and touched, too. “I demand recompense for all the horrific coffee you forced me to consume.”
“It can be arranged,” Hob said. And kissed Dream again, his lips soft but sure. Knowing that Hob had been specifically engineering things to be able to see him, just as Dream had— it only made him like Hob more.
“Will you touch me?” he asked, and Hob groaned.
“Think I might die if I don’t.”
He eased Dream back to lie down against the pillows, then pulled off his underwear. Dream was breathing hard again now, lying naked under Hob’s hungry gaze. He hoped he wouldn’t faint, but it felt like a distinct possibility. At least Hob had proven that he wasn’t bothered by that, once before.
“I still want to get my mouth on you,” Hob murmured. “Is that okay?”
“Please.” Dream liked Hob’s mouth. He wanted Hob’s mouth on him. Had he ever felt that way before? He didn’t think so. But he imagined Hob taking him in his mouth and he wanted.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” Hob said. “Since you walked into the cafe that first time, can you believe it? Sorry. Hope that doesn’t creep you out.”
The thought of Hob imagining this while talking to him over the counter only made Dream feel hotter inside. “I like when you think about me.”
“And I like thinking about you.” He kissed the tip of Dream’s cock, and Dream gasped. “And being with you even more.”
He took Dream in his mouth then, and Dream lost all ability to respond to him. Hob’s mouth was so much. All-encompassing wet heat, the flat pressure of his tongue, and then Hob bobbed his head and took him deeper and Dream moaned, startling himself with the sound. He flailed, and found Hob’s hair, holding onto it for balance, and Hob hummed his approval.
Hob felt so good. Dream did not know how he was supposed to survive it. Perhaps Hob wouldn’t mind if he didn’t. Perhaps he’d take it as a compliment. Dream felt much like how he had right before he’d fainted on Hob at the cafe, a rush of pleasant lightness at the thought that Hob was paying attention to him and wanting him, but he didn’t faint this time. He just fell into the pleasure of Hob’s touch.
He lost himself for a while, to Hob’s tongue, the pressure of his lips, his skillful pacing that kept Dream struggling to find where the edge was. He felt he was supposed to be participating more actively but he could not gather himself together enough to do more than play with Hob’s hair, to touch his jaw and throat and slick lips as if in a dream. He felt out of control, and Dream normally hated feeling out of control, but Hob felt so good that it was worth it.
“Hob,” he cried, as Hob dragged his tongue over him in a way he’d clearly learned would get a particular reaction. Dream’s hips twitched up, thrust automatically into Hob’s waiting mouth, and he rushed to apologize—but Hob moaned. The rumble of his voice was too much for Dream, who already felt held on a razor’s edge of control. The weight that had been building and building in his belly and thighs snapped in a rush and he came in Hob’s mouth, cock bumping the back of his throat. Flushed and overheated, he tugged on his own hair. It cut through the bright overwhelm of being touched.
Breathing hard, he looked down at Hob, who pulled off him slowly, and then swallowed. Dream swallowed, too, a shaky echo of the motion, and pet Hob’s hair, twining the long strands between his fingers.
“Sorry,” he whispered. “I did not warn you.”
Hob slanted a smile at him. “It’s okay. I knew what I was getting into giving a blowjob to someone who’d never done it before. Besides—” he kissed the crook of Dream’s hip, tongue darting out to wet the skin “—I wanted to taste you.”
Hob was too much for him. He made Dream feel so overwhelmed, but in a good way, such a good way. Hob crawled up Dream’s body to kiss him, arms bracketing Dream’s head, and Dream let the heat of Hob's mouth, and the pleasant wake of orgasm wash over him.
"Good?" Hob murmured, and Dream nodded. Good, yes, so good. He pulled Hob closer so all of Hob’s body was pressed to his, Hob’s weight over him. There was so much skin like this, so much heat, Hob’s hair brushing his stomach and the strong planes of his back under Dream’s hands. Hob groaned as his erection ground into the crook of Dream’s hip, and Dream needed, suddenly needed to see him come, too. He wanted to see Hob fall apart. He wanted to be the one who made it happen.
He tugged on Hob’s boxers, and Hob budged up enough that together they were able to get them off. Then Dream pulled him back in, wrapped a leg around the back of Hob’s thigh, chasing skin touch. Hob kissed his throat, grinding his cock against Dream’s sharp hipbone, the flat muscles of his belly. An image flashed through Dream’s mind of Hob moving like that but in him and he was startled by how fiercely he wanted it.
It was joyful, too, to hold Hob close to him and feel his pleasure. Hob did not have to be inside him for Dream to feel that he had never been so close to another person before. It was fascinating and beautiful, the mess of Hob’s lips on his skin, the glide of precome, the moving warmth of Hob’s body.
He reached between them and took Hob in hand. Hob stuttered at the touch, then groaned. “Fuck, your hands.”
“Have you been thinking about them?” Dream asked. A thrill ran through him as Hob nodded. Dream would not have expected himself to want to, to be able to try to stoke Hob’s pleasure through words, this was all so new, but— “Did you imagine me touching you like this?” He twisted his grip around Hob, and Hob shuddered. “My hand wrapped around your cock?”
It did not feel awkward as Dream would have expected. Unlike with the stressful repartee of public conversation, he only had to focus on Hob’s reactions, and how he could use his words to turn Hob’s imagination, like he did with his stories. Hob was not even looking at him as he spoke, but he was focusing on him, Dream could tell.
He let Hob thrust into his hand, encouraging him on with his leg still wrapped around the back of his thigh, dragged his other hand through Hob’s hair, and murmured, “Did you know that I rarely fantasize about anyone, but once I met you I could not stop thinking about you touching me?”
“Dream.”
“You’re so beautiful,” he praised—Hob was, he was beautiful to Dream, he was an explanation of something Dream had always wanted to understand—and Hob whined. Dream caressed the back of his neck, down his spine. “I want to see you come.”
And Hob did, gasping against Dream’s throat and spilling into his hand. It thrilled Dream more than his own pleasure, to feel Hob come for him. Hob’s desire for him, and how he responded to Dream’s voice.
“Fuck, Dream.” Hob’s weight was heavy on him now, his breath hot against Dream’s throat. “I didn’t know you had that in you.”
“Nor I,” Dream admitted, and Hob chuckled.
“You’ll be a monster now that you’ve got started,” he said. They lay there like that for a few heartbeats, catching their breath, Dream running his fingers through Hob's hair. Then Hob pushed himself up on his elbows to look at him, hair falling into his eyes, a fond look on his face. “So. First time. Did you enjoy yourself?”
It was harder to speak again with Hob looking directly at him, but Hob’s look on him was kind, so Dream persisted. “I did,” he said, and Hob’s smile deepened, crinkling the corners of his eyes. “And it is not so often that I enjoy something that is new to me.”
Hob kissed him lightly on the lips. “I'm so glad, love. That's what I wanted for you.”
He pet Dream’s hair. The touch felt so nice. “I…” Dream started, because he did have something more he wanted to say to Hob, hard though it sometimes was to speak. Hob looked at him expectantly, waiting. “I did not know what it meant to want this— or to want someone until I wanted you,” Dream admitted. “And… it was not something that I needed. But now that I have it, I do want it, and I want to explore more. With you.”
Hob’s smile softened. "Seeing you enjoy yourself was better than I could have hoped for. Happiness is so gorgeous on you. So don't hesitate to tell me what you're thinking of." He kissed Dream’s cheek, and by the corner of his eye. “There’s a lot I want to explore with you."
There was a low burn of heat in his words, and Dream’s body prickled in expectation. So strange, the way that he responded to Hob, without intention or control, and it was so much stronger now that he knew what Hob’s hands, and mouth, on him felt like. There was so much to discover. He thought of what he had imagined, Hob moving within him, but didn't speak that desire yet. He did not think he was yet ready to bring that from imagination to reality. But someday.
Hob fetched a damp towel to clean them up, then pulled Dream close to him again. It was very warm, like that, their legs tangled, Dream’s head pillowed on Hob’s arm. He had never lain in bed naked with another person before. He found that he liked it. At least with Hob.
“Thank you,” he said, lips pressed to Hob’s shoulder.
“Hm?”
“I do not… often know what I am doing, in these situations,” Dream said. “But I never feel like I am doing it wrong, when I am with you.”
Hob kissed the top of his head. “You’re not doing it wrong,” he said. “You’re perfect.”
“That is objectively untrue, but thank you.”
Hob laughed, and held him close, arms wrapped around him. Dream felt encompassed, grounded. It was a good feeling. Hob was a good feeling. One that Dream certainly intended to hold onto.
He tucked his head in against Hob’s chest, and, smiling, let the dreams he had been spinning at dinner, of Hob cooking for him, of staying, fill his mind again. Only now, there were a few other things included in those dreams, too.
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l393ndjean · 2 months
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What I Need in St5 (That isn't ship related)
I need Will to save El from something. I need Will to not be a damsel in distress and El to not be a superhero. Not for the whole season or anything, but like, he saves her from a demogorgon by thinking outside the box. Will isn't violent and subverting their current roles by making him violent doesn't sit right with me. This would prove that yes, Will does care for El, and vice versa, which some people are still skeptical about fsr.
More of Robin and Nancy being best friends. And, address Nancy's trauma of losing Barb and how that affects her friendship with Robin. I want to see Nancy being protective of Robin, never wanting to let her out of her sight. And I need Robin to remind her that hey, despite it all, they're still young. They're teenagers. I need Robin to remind Nancy that she can still have fun, and that it's not her fault that Barb died. (Also I need them to solve the mystery together, their detective dynamic is so great.)
I need Vickie to befriend Jonathan. I need to know more about her as a person, not just as Robin's crush. If Argyle's not gonna be around this season I need Jonathan to have a friend, who he isn't linked to in a weird way (Steve is his girlfriend's ex and his ex bully and as much as I wanna see them interact and form a friendship, I also need him to befriend Vickie.) Jonathan's character development into making friends with her could also be quite interesting. He's never really interacted with anyone his age other than Nancy. (I love his dynamic with Argyle, but I also really need to see him with a... less high person.)
The party interacting, as a whole. Combining their knowledge to solve problems, arguing over stupid shit and getting to be teenagers for once. I need my nerdy little boys to be together for once, they're always separated. When they're together they're unstoppable.
El interacting with Lucas! Oh my gods, since season one we've scarcely seen them in the same room! I need to see them bonding over their grief, and working together on where Max's consciousness is. I need them to bond over high school and feeling like they have to be someone else to fit in. (We're getting this for sure, but I need this more than oxygen.)
I need Mike to be leading THE PLAN! When Mike leads the plan, they win. S1, they saved Will, S2 they saved Will and closed the gate. Both times Mike was heavily involved in forming the plan. In S3 Mike's Sauna Test worked, it confirmed that Billy was flayed. And his physics moment. But in S4? They lost. Why? Because Mike wasn't involved in the plan!
I have way more but that's enough for one night, lol.
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thedragonqueensblog · 2 months
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Draco Malfoy///Meant to be
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Request by @characterxreaderimagine: imagine being a potter and Draco having a huge crush on you but denies it.. and eventually gets jealous when he here's Fred Weasley is going to ask you out which lead him to confess his feelings for you but.. plot twist is that your brother finds out and wanted to break the two of you up but eventually failed to do so and just warned Draco never to hurt his sister.. a few years later he got an invitation to a wedding 💀
Since a baby, Harry could always remember James telling him to look after you and to protect you at any cost.
Ever since the death of them, Harry promised to himself that you would be his first priority. and that he was going to protect you at any cost.
At first it annoyed you because his overprotectiveness also included scaring all of the guys away.
but little does Harry know that a certain guy that goes by his name Draco has a crush on his sister even though he denies it every time he gets asked.
“So what you're trying to tell us is that you don't fantasize about Y/n, not even a little bit?” Pansy raised an eyebrow clearly not believing him.
Draco laughs as he shakes his head. "Of course not, who does?"
“Everyone, I mean who doesn't? She's really gorgeous, right Pansy?” Blaise replied, smirking as she nodded with a smirk too.
Draco stops laughing and he glares at his friends. “Everyone does? Does it include you guys too?”
Gregory chuckles, "You shouldn't care since you said that you don't fantasize about her.”
Draco rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms. "So what?, it’s not like Saint Potter is going to let one of you date his sister.”
Pansy shrugs her shoulders. "I don’t know but I heard Fred is going to ask her out and probably Harry might let him since they are friends.”
“What carrot head is going to ask her out?” Draco growls “Over my dead body that I’m going to let that happen, Y/n is my future wife and the mother of my kids.”
"But you said that you didn-."
“Blaise shut up, I know what I said.” Draco interrupts and he looks over at Gregory and Pansy “don’t think about saying it.”
Pansy pulls her hands up, " I wasn't planning to.”
"but you did say it.” Gregory whispers hoping that Draco didn’t hear since Pansy and Blaise started laughing.
"What are you two laughing about?" Draco asked madly, causing Blaise and Pansy to stop laughing and to come up with something to answer him with.
“A Joke that someone told us I would tell you but I forgot about it after the scare you gave us.” Pansy replies
Draco chuckles, "a bunch of scary cats that I have as friends getting scared over anything.”
"says the one that's scared to ask Y/n out just because he's scared of her brother.” Gregory mumbles quietly but this time Draco heard him
He pushes Gregory causing him to fall down on the ground “I’m not scared of him or anything and you know it really well Gregory.”
“Then prove it by asking her out if you don’t then you are:”
“Of course!!! I am going to do it because I love her and don’t want her to be with carrot head, not because you're asking me to do it.”
“It’s going to be amazing to watch. Hopefully Draco doesn't have his ass beaten.” Blaise said as they watch him leave
“Freddie, are you sure that you want to ask Y/n out? Are you not afraid of Harry? And what he's gonna do?” Ron asked
He smiles, “He won't dare to hurt me because you're his best friend, and I know that you would not permit him to do so if that were to occur.”
“That’s the thing, I'm his best friend but Y/n is his sister. What kind brother do you think Harry is?” Ron looked at his brother hoping that he remembers how overprotective Harry is.
“Yeah that you’re right I just like Y/n really much and didn’t think about that.”
Ron chuckles, “I comprehend you have her in your mind and heart that you almost forgot that you were choosing death over living.”
Ron and Fred started laughing with one another, but they stopped when they saw you and Draco leave together.
Ron looked at his brother, who was frowning, and asked, “Are you all right?” Fred, on the other hand, took no notice of Ron, choosing instead to follow behind Draco and you.
Draco and you went to the courtyard since he told you that he wanted to talk to you in private
“So what is it!?” You asked
Fidgeting with his hands and avoiding your gaze, he seemed to be nervous. Finally, he uttered, “Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?”
His sudden boldness made you feel taken aback and you couldn't help but smile. "Of course!!!”
A smile spread across Draco's face, but it soon faded when he saw Fred walking towards him and you. “It's carrot head.”
You looked around to see what had caught his attention and saw Fred advancing with a mischievous smirk on his face. You couldn't resist laughing at the sight. Fred was well-known for his pranks and jokes, and it was obvious that he had a plan.
"Hey, guys.” Fred winked at you. “What are you guys talking about?”
Draco intervened before you could respond. “I asked Y/n to be my girlfriend and she agreed.” Draco's demeanor became slightly defensive, causing you to look at him with shock.
Fred raised an eyebrow in anger, but quickly recovered. "Harry will know about this.”
You gazed at Draco with a puzzled look. “What motivated you to tell him that? Mostly it was a lie.”
Draco's expression was serious as he grasped your hands to kiss them. "I have a fondness for you and I don't wish to lose you to carrot head."
“But I don’t like him.” You told him.
“But he likes you.” He tells you back “so do you like somebody?”
"I have feelings for you too, Draco.” He was filled with excitement after hearing your confession.
You spent the rest of the evening talking and laughing, with him and by the time you said goodbye. Harry waited for you in the common with his arms crossed and an angry expression.
“Is what Fred told me about Draco and you dating accurate?”Harry asked with anger
“So what if it is?” You replied
“I forbid you from seeing him and I want you to break up with him.” Harry said before leaving
Dating Draco Malfoy, of all people, was not a good idea for him. He prohibited you from seeing Draco again, but you couldn't stand to think about hurting him. Draco and you are still keeping your relationship secret.
Unfortunately, Harry did find out and confronted you both. He tried a lot of different ways to end things, but he finally gave up when he saw how happy you were with Draco. He warned him not to hurt you because it would make him regret it.
Harry got an invitation to a wedding shortly afterwards. Upon opening it, he came to the realization that it was from his now-brother-in-law, who was inviting him to the wedding. Harry was grateful that they had found a way to come together as a family even after a bumpy start and couldn't help but smile. As he stood at the dancing floor and watched you have your wedding dance with Draco.
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Text
Ring Around the Roses
(Alfie Solomons x female reader)
Summary: Attempting to get away from the Shelby party chaos, Alfie and his wife sneak off into Tommy's garden for a little fun. It isn't until the next morning they discover the consequences of their actions and Alfie has to remind his wife what their marriage is really about.
A/N-Hi Y'all! Possible TW's for only the end of this include Mentions of death, Unhealthy coping habits and self blame! Also this is for K's (@runnning-outof-time) 3K celebration! Congratulations you're amazing and I love seeing you on here❤️❤️❤️ I hope you like this! I haven't done a celebration before really but I saw your theme and the idea spring into my head. Despite the warnings it's mostly fluffy until the time skip! Also there's one part that implies smut but none actually written! Enjoy ❤️
WC- 6.6k
Main Masterlist
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"Are you sure we can do this out here?"
"Do what dovey? I'm just taking a nice little stroll with my darling wife aren't I? Letting her get a quiet break from all those heathens inside."
You scoffed, knocking into your husband's side gently as the pair of you walked through the garden. For a man who seemed particularly fond of dark colours, Thomas Shelby's garden was particularly vibrant. 
"Oh hush, you only call them heathens because you're too scared to use the word friend."
"FRIEND!" Alfie scoffed while kicking at a particularly beautifully tulip that just happened to be nearby, just to prove his point. "No no no Dovey, THEY are not my friends, yeah. If I were to pick anyone to be my friend it certainly would not be ANY of them." 
You only rolled your eyes and shot a knowing smirk in his direction. For all your husband's spite and trickery, you knew he really did have a soft spot for the Shelby family.
"Alright love, I believe ya. That's absolutely why you immediately declined the invitation to come here tonight isn't it. Burned it in the fireplace correct? Told me not to put it in the calendar? Because you don't have plans at being anything other than vicious enemies is that right? The pie I brought tonight was a death threat wasn't it? Did you slip in some arsenic into the powdered sugar?"
Rolling his eyes at your teasing, Alfie couldn't help but smile as he watched you laugh at your own joke. Continuing your path through the garden you mindlessly reached back a hand for your husband a few steps behind. A clear indication of what you wanted. What you always wanted. Slipping his hand between yours, he let you drag him through the bushes, further from the party. With each step he could see you relax a bit more, as you enjoyed the scene around you.
"Is it quieter out here Dovey?"
Smiling softly, you only nodded your head before reaching out gently to touch the leaves of a nearby bush. Though the party was fun, it had gotten a bit loud and in the growing chaos you needed some air. So while Tommy and Polly were distracted trying to convince Arthur and Finn not to throw Michael in the lake, you and your husband had slipped outside. 
"Alfie, we should plant a garden of our own I think."
"Is that right Dovey? Does my lady want some bushes of her own to trim doesn't she?"
"I think we could get some nice rose bushes. I've always loved those."
"Roses, is that it? You got a feeling about those prickly little parasites don't ya Dovey? I never got why you liked them."
Chuckling you sat on the edge of a nearby wall as your husband dug his feet in the ground. You knew exactly why Alfred hated roses, and it still amused you to this day. 
It happened years ago, around the time you'd first gotten together. This was before Alfie was even able to grow a beard, and all his kisses resulted in a scratchy scruff that prickled your face. Way back when boxing was still his main pastime instead of "baking", both kinds actually and these days your husband finally knew how to make a decent muffin. In an effort to be romantic, he'd shown up at your work one day with a nice bouquet of roses. They were lovely flowers and you were immensely elated by the gesture, and especially amused since he'd bought the flowers from that very shop only the day before too.... However it was a shame you never got the chance to put them in water. See, somewhere between the ten steps it took to get from the door to your table, he had tripped and fallen flat on the ground. Don't worry, his face hadn't hit the hard ground, it was cushioned....by the thorny roses. Maybe it was a good thing the thorns had left so many bloody scratches. It meant you weren't able to tell his face had turned as red as the roses petals now surrounding him. Instead of the romantic date he wanted to take you on, the evening was spent with you dapping the cuts on his face with a damp cloth while he started at the wall, contemplating every life choice he'd ever made. That was the night Alfred Solomons decided he'd never trust a rose ever again. Not even the ones his darling wife sought to plant in her gardens.
"Alfie, come on! Roses aren't that bad, just because you had a little slip up years ago doesn't mean they all hate you."
Standing by up again, you held out your arms towards Alfie as music began to reach the garden. Shaking his head lightly, he set down his cane and took your arms, fully confident you'd be there to support him if his hip got too bad. You and Alfie had yet to dance tonight, caught up talking with others (which was really just your doing) and pointing out everyone who'd gotten too drunk and was trying piss in the plants. It wasn't something either of your minded to badly, the large crowds of people tended to make you feel a bit nervous and Alfie occasionally had a hard time keeping rhythm because of his hip. So most of your dancing was done in the back corners of the ballroom or privately in your kitchen, waiting for the midnight snacks to be done. 
However tonight, it seems you'd be dancing in Thomas Shelby's garden. Slowly but happily, you waltzed closely with your husband, stepping around the fountain and laughing as he stopped to twirl you ever few seconds. Other than the music from the house and the gentle crunches  of your shoes beneath the gravel path, the world was silent. When the song ended your husband gave you a gentle kiss and stepped back, though he was still holding you in his arms. Looking up above yourselves, you saw the constellations fitting the night sky.
"Ohh Alfie! Look at them! Aren't they beautiful?"
Beaming, you grinned up at the stars twinkling down on you before moving from your husband to a smaller empty plot of ground. You suspected that something was to be planted there soon, but paid no mind to the grime that would get on your skirt as you settled down to sit in the dirt. It was a nice little spot, right next to the rocky path and dug out in a manner that was lined on three sides by tall hedges. To anyone looking out if the mansion, the little alcove would have been completely invisible. 
"What are ya doing now Dovey? Is this the thing you said we shouldn't be doing?" Alfie teased you from where he was still standing.
"I just wanna sit and watch the stars for a bit. Come," remaining seated you patted the spot next to you, "Join me."
Alfie walked over to the spot but when he got there, he only raised an eyebrow at you and tapped his hip with the cane. You stared for a moment and then it clicked. Laughing slightly at your forgetfulness, you stood up, bowing dramatically, and held out your arm. 
"Right right, I forget you have the hip of an overworked, ninety seven year old parlor dancer. Shall I assist you to the ground my dear sir?"
Alfie only grumbled, but his eyes twinkled as you teased him. If anyone else had made the comment they'd have been dead before they blinked, but you were different. Alfred Solomons was capable of many things, but some nights when his hip got bad, he needed help moving around more, especially if it meant going from standing to sitting on the ground. You were happy to help of course, but being married for over a decade didn't mean the pair of you were above lightly poking fun of the other. Only two years ago, you had accidentally scratched part of your eye and needed to wear an eyepatch for five weeks. The first thing Alfie had done when you walked out of the examination room and asked if he could get food for dinner, was reply with "does patchy wanted a cracker" in reference to the one eyed parrot you'd seen in a film the month before. It was just something you'd always done together even before you started dating. A dark humor you both shared, as if joking about the hurt could make it better. 
Holding his other arm, you gently helped your husband lower himself to the ground, squeezing his hand comfortingly when he let out a small groan. After helping your husband take a seat, you settled into your own again, leaning your head on his shoulder as you looked to the heavens. 
"You aren't really gonna plant roses are ya Love? What if something happens to them?"
"Like what? You assault them with your face again?"
"....Maybe? But like why do you really enjoy them? I still don't see the charm."
Sighing, you shifted your gaze and looked your husband in the eyes.  One of your hands moved up to his face, as you gently caresses the one spot on his face that refused to grow hair like the rest of his beard. You knew it was another old war wound, but this was actually one he had yet to tell you the story of. Gazing into his eyes a few moments more, you then changed positions so you were seated across his lap, one leg in either side of his.
"Why do I love roses?....Their petals are as soft as their thorns are sharp and given the right hand, their climb up any wall in their path. Not only that but their petals can have many uses for food or paint or even my blush. That means they are able to change their usefulness based off their situation at hand. They are able to adapt, nor are the helpless. Some people say the point of the thorns is to choke out anything else threatening to take the roses' livelihood." you gently held your husbands face between your hands as you continued, "I like roses because they remind me of you Alfie. Because they are beautiful, and strong, and dangerous. You are a gorgeous and strong man, and I know how badly you try to protect me every day. You are so kind to me, but I know how far you'll go for me. I would go just as far for you. You are my rose Alfred Solomons and so I love them as all they remind me of you."
Alfie was quiet for a moment, observing what you'd said. His hands sat on your waist, thumbs rubbing gently in your sides. 
"You saying I'm like a fucking flower Dovey, is that it?"
"Yeah, you're my flower though."
"....Alright."
"....You know why else you're like a rose love?"
"Why poppet?"
"Because it can be a pain in the ass to keep you alive sometimes."
Alfie only put his hand to his chest in mock offense, while your grinned up at him mischievously.
"Oi, now you better watch your words there Dovey."
"Make me Rosie," you whispered, grinning as your leaned closer to your husbands face, pressing a soft kiss to his jaw.
Gently Alfie leaned back, taking you with him until his back was on the ground. Hands, still on his face, you could feel the smile on his face. Slowly one of his hands moved to your head bringing you down so he could kiss you again. Sweet at first but it quickly increased in passion and vigor. Though eventually you had to pull back for breath, and it was then you realized his hands had already rearranged your skirts in a way overnight you both.
"Alfred? I know we can't do this out here?"
Your husband only laughed, reaching towards his belt as he pulled you close again.
"Slide down a bit farther and I think you'll see we definitely can Dovey. It's only a matter of being quiet enough to evade capture."
It was a nice little spot, right next to the rocky path and dug out in a manner that was lined on three sides by tall hedges. To anyone looking out if the mansion, the little alcove would have been completely invisible. And luckily, the music was loud enough to hide the sounds of rustling bushes...
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It wasn't until the next morning when you realized what went wrong...
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After making it back to the house last night and finding half the dog food "mysteriously missing", the pair of you had decided to call it a night. And since business was going so well Alfie had elected to take a few days off, hoping to spend more time with you. It also meant he'd finally be able to sleep in.....or so he thought.
A sudden crash woke Alfie from his slumber the next morning. 
Shooting up, he automatically looked to his right, and his heart stopped for a moment realizing you weren't there. Another clatter from downstairs and a frustrated scream from you had him practically jumping out of bed and grabbing his gun. You usually like staying in bed for a few more hours, especially when he was there, so the fact he could hear your distress from upstairs made him worry. 
Carefully Alfie snuck down the hall, peaking in rooms to make sure no unsavory figures were lurking behind the door. Another annoyed groan accompanied by various curse words hurried him to his final destination. 
"Love, are you alright?"
It was a stupid thing to ask as you were very much not alright. The kitchen was a mess, looking like every cabinet had been opened and all the contents pulled out. Pots and bass were laud hurriedly across the counters as you rummaged through every nook and cranny. A quickly glance into the living room told Alfie it was scattered in a similar state. But you hadn't responded to your husband, not the first time or even the second. It wasn't until Alfie stepped right up behind you, putting his hand on your shoulder, and turning your around to face him when you responded.
"I can't find it."
Your voice wavered as you admitted the truth. Looking down like a small child about to be told off, you averted your face from your husband's. Alfie was still confused, but he could tell whatever you were rallying about was obviously important.
"Can't find what Dovey? Whatever it is it's probably isn't too bad. I can help ya find it righty?"
"No Alfie you don't undertstand."
"Then help me understand Love. Let's get through this together like we always have yeah? Come on, tell your husband what we're looking for." Carefully cupping your face in his hands, Alfie guided you to look at him again. He could see the tears welling in your eyes as you spoke.
"....I.....I lost my wedding ring Alfie."
"Oh."
It was the simple oh that broke the dam. Stepping back from your husband, tears began to stream down your face as you shoved your fingers in you hair as if trying to hold in the stress.
"SEE I told you it was terrible. I...I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom and noticed it missing when I went to clean my hands. I figured I'd just taken it off la... last night but it wasn't by the bed table like I usually put it. Then I went through the bathroom and it wasn't there. I've gone through every room in this hours and I can't fucking find it!!! I don't ....I don't know where it is Alfie. I just... oh god." 
Covering you mouth with your hand, you realized where you lost the ring. 
"Alfie the fucking garden."
"The garden? Love you haven't made the garden yet, how could it be there?"
"No, TOMMY'S garden. It has to be there. It fell off last night when we were rolling in the dirt. I've been meaning by to get it resized. Oh fuck this is awful"
Alfie actually chuckled at your realization. Of course the ring would fall off in the most inconvenient place possible, but he wasn't about to tell you that.
"Thats alright Dovey we can just..."
Throwing your hands in the air you interrupted your husband, frustrated at yourself for a number of reasons. It stung Alfie's heart to see you like this. Carefully he dragged your hands from your face and pulled you into a hug. Soothingly his hands ran up and down your back as he tried to comfort you.
"We can just what Alfred? Waltz back over and demand he let us dig up the plants for it? He'd probably ask why and what are we suppose to say then huh Alfred? Oh you know, we lost it in the garden you see...Well what were you doing there Y/N? ...Nothing much just fertilizing the soil, pollinating the flower, playing like the rake and ho, rustling the bushes, sowing seed in the garden, FUCKING IN THE FLOWERBEDS!!!! No we can't do that Alfie we just can't! It's probably gone forever... I'm so sorry."
Alfie was the one to hide his face this time. He knew you were in distress but he was amused by one of your last sentences. You always were good with the innuendos. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to get you to calm down. He knew at this point you weren't so mad about the ring, as just overwhelmed by the lack of success you'd had in finding it.
"Yes love, we can tell him all those things and if he'd got any sort of romantic bone in his tiny, banged up little body he'd offer us shovels to dig if we need them. And if not then I'd wager every deal I'd ever have with his lot is out the fucking window isn't it. We've been married since before the little one of them was teething haven't we? It's not like they don't think we're fucking. Besides it's a decent fucking garden, Tommy should have know what he was doing when he made that little hidey spot didn't he? It'll be fine. And if I find it then I'll get to propose to you all over again won't I? I think if I got one wish left in the word it would be to do that again. Ask if you'd be mine forever and let you know I'll always be there. Love I promise. It's alright Dovey, it's ok. No need to get worked up about it's not such a big deal."
Thought he was trying to help, his last sentence only made things worse. Stepping pack from Alfie you threw your hands up again.
"IT IS OUR MARRIAGE ALFIE! And I've practically lost it like it means nothing at all! How can you say that!"
There it was. The really reason you were so worked up. Not because you'd lost the little ring. It was because somewhere in your mind, over the years you'd been together, you'd gotten the idea that if you didn't have it on your were almost betraying everything you held dear. As if you thought without the ring, all the vows you'd mad together were nil. Alfie couldn't help but laugh at that. He laughed hard too, like you'd told the funniest joke in their world. 
"You think that ring is our marriage?"
Stepping closer again Alfie took your arms and pulled you closer.
"Our marriage is so much more than that fucking ring love," he said, cupping your face between his hands again. "Our marriage is me stealing Ollie's shirt before every lunch date because his is cleaner than mine and wanna look my best for the best, that's you by the way. It's you grinning at me through the glass window at fuck O'clock in then morning when I've taken the dog out for a piss since you thought it'd be funny to lock me out in the cold in my fucking skeevies again. It's me paying a fuck ton of money to the flower shop down the street so you could get a rose every week I was away fighting. It's you spending hours patching me up after I had a bad fight even though blood makes you gag yeah. When you refuse to give me dinner until I give you a kiss and when I won't give you a gift until I've gotten a hug? Sharing a bath after a hard day? That's our marriage. You interrupting my meeting because you're so excited to show me a new book? Me interrupting your book club because I've just gotten back from a business trip? You demanding I come to bed and cuddle up, only to shove me off of you later when you're too hot? Me tightening jars in the pantry so you have to get me to open them? Making fun of each other's injuries, patchy? Don't you see it? You. Me. You. Me. You. Me. WE."
"Alfie..." You couldn't help but smile at your husband's words realizing he was right.
"Dovey, It isn't defined by a thin piece of metal with a tiny fucking stone that I stole off a rich toff at a boxing match one day. Our marriage is YOU and ME and every little moment in between. And I promise it's always gonna be just that. And do you know why that is Treacle?"
Alfie had moved his hands again, now resting them on your hips. Gazing at you lovingly he waited for your answer.
"Why Ally?"
"Because I'm your flower remember? I'm your fucking rose.... and you're fucking my sunshine, Dovey. I have no chance of living without you."
Wrapping your arms around your husband, you buried your face into his neck. Losing the ring you'd worn almost every day for years didn't seem so criminal anymore. 
"Alfred Solomons when did you learn to say something so romantic."
Your husband only chuckled as he step away, grabbing some of the boxes you'd pulled out in your panic. 
"A master never reveals his secrets Dovey. Now come on. Let's clean this up and then we'll go get you a new ring eh? Wouldn't want any gangly miscreant thinking they've got a chance with you would we?"
Looking at the damage you'd done, you couldn't but sigh, maybe it would have been better to wake your husband immediately before diving head first into your expedition. Now you were kicking yourself since you'd just redone all the work you'd don't last week reorganizing every thing.
"I'm not sure the jewellery shop will still be open today by the time we finish Alfred. I'm not even sure we'll be able to finish this in a week with the mess I've made."
Your husband just bonked you lightly with the broom he handed you and nudged you in the direction of the living room.
"That's alright Dovey. Because unless you've got some nefarious little plans I haven't heard of to steal my dog and run off, I don't think either of us is going anywhere anytime soon aren't we?"
You could only smile and kiss him on the cheek.
"I suppose you're right. We've got all the time in the world...."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two years later...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Shelby, I want my dog."
The Shelby in question turned around, eyeing the woman before him. He knew this day would come. Only he expected it to be sooner, a few days, maybe even a week later...but now it was four months. Four months since he....despite his feelings towards the man, Tommy couldn't help but feel slight regrets for what he'd done. Especially seeing the state of her now, standing in his garden.
"He's just gone on a walk with Charlie and Finn. They should be back in an hour or so."
"I'll wait... I see you filled in that empty plot of ground. They're lovely flowers, I don't remember them being there two winters ago."
Tommy averted his gaze to the bushes you were pointing at. Indeed the small alcove where you'd hidden with your husband had been filled. In its place grew a thick rose bush, blooming with life. You smiled, and to anyone else, they might have thought your look truthful. And some of it was, thinking of the happy memories connected there. But Tommy could see deeper than that. Behind the smile he could see the same pain he had when he looked in mirrors. The pain that came from losing the thing you loved most. For as different as you both were, he knew the tactic you played, though the mask you wore was much brighter than his. And for now he decided he could respect that. He could pretend just for a moment, if only to help you. It was the least he could do, seeing as he was the reason you wore it... He was the one to pull the trigger.
"You're right. The gardener put them in almost two years ago, right after the party where Arthur and Finn tossed Michael into the lake. Do you remember that one? I saw you talking to my sister but never saw you leave that night."
A genuine chuckle left your mouth hearing his words. You played with the ring on your left hand. Only two years old and very expensive, but in that moment, it felt like you were wearing another ring again. One that was much older and worn, that you hadn't seen in years. 
"I do. That was certainly a night I'll remember forever. It's a shame you got rid of that little alcove. It was a nice little spot away from the world wasn't it."
Tommy could only nod and take another drag of his cigarette.
"Did Alfie ever tell you about the first and last time he gave me roses in person. I mean, of course he probably didn't and I'll have to tell you sometime, but I think you might find it funny. There's a lot about him I'm sure he hasn't told you. But then again, knowing him there's probably a lot he did..." You trailed off, staring at the flowers a bit longer, remembering that day over a decade ago, not really meaning to tell Tommy that, doing so anyway. After all, no one had heard from you in months, so it made sense to him, that you'd be eager to talk to anyone. Even the man you should hate most in the world.
Silence descended on the pair standing tense in the garden. There was so much to be said, but neither knew where to start. Truthfully, you'd only talked to Tommy a handful of times, but he felt like he'd already known you like his sister. He couldn't help but scoff, thinking of all the times Alfie had gone off on a tangent about you during a meeting. Sometimes, your mention had nothing to do what was being discussed at all, Alfie just liked to brag about the good he had. In the end it was Tommy who spoke up first, the guilt of his past actions finally caving in on him.
"Y/N, I'm sor..."
"Don't. Thomas, I don't want you to say sorry," turning from the vibrant blooms, you faced the capped man. "I don't want you to say sorry, because you know what? I don't blame you. You're completely alright. I'm not mad at you.... It's my fault I suppose. I could have stopped it."
Tommy raised his eyebrow, curious to what you meant, and also concerned. There was something in your eyes that made his stomach turn slightly hearing those words. But he couldn't exactly place why.
"What's that suppose to mean Y/N?"
You only let out a bittersweet laugh and stared out into the garden again, sitting on the edge of a familiar fountain before you revealed the truth.
"It's my fault he's gone I think. I should have known. I should have never left that day and I could have stopped it."
Tommy's brows furrowed as he sat down next to you. 
"What's that mean? You couldn't have known what his plan was? It's not your fault."
Absentmindedly, you picked at the leaves of a nearby bush. Though your voice was even, Tommy could practically see the war inside your head.
"It's how he kissed me when I left that day. I was only going to be gone a few days to visit my friend who was suppose to have her baby soon. Nothing dangerous. But it's the way he kissed me that should have tipped me off. He kissed me the way he did when he got on the damed train, in that damned uniform. He kissed me like he didn't think he'd see me ever again, going to die in the war. And I guess he didn't."
Tommy didn't say anything. He just let you continue. Something in his head told him, he needed to let your speak, he needed to keep you here tonight. If he let you leave today, no one would ever see you again and something in Tommy told him not to let that happen.
"You know I still haven't admitted it to myself just yet... The truth," standing up you began to pace around the fountain, circling the water. "Since I first got the call I haven't picked up the phone anymore, I'm scared of what I'll hear. I haven't opened any letters, because I don't want to see what they'll say. I still haven't even gone home yet. I've been paying for a hotel room by my friend's house and only leaving by when I need more food. I know it not good for me, but it's all I can find I can do. I've been telling myself it's just that. He's gone to the war again and he'll be back in a few months." Though you spoke with a smile as if talking about the weather, it was easy to see the pain in your eyes. You thought denying the truth would make the hurt go away. But it wouldn't, Tommy knew it was only a matter of time before you broke. And like with Cyril, he felt like he was the one who needed to help. So he decided to play along for now, letting you keep your act up. Atleast until he could figure out the best way to fix the mess he still felt he'd made.
"You tell yourself it's the war eh? Do you write him letters."
"Yes, I write him one almost every day. But I haven't sent any. Did you know that I was rarely able to send them to him during the war. Something about his post being secretive, and no one should know where it really was. So I'd just... write a letter everyday and when I got a letter that his squad was resting at a safe camp every few months I'd just send the packet of them.... If I was lucky I'd get one back, but most of the time I just had to wait. I learned a lot about waiting then. I learned it was better to laugh too. Laughing helped me stay sane."
Standing up, Tommy began walking with you as you stepped deeper into the gardens.
"Laughing eh? Well I guess it's better than what I did. Almost drunk myself to the grave and then fucked off in a caravan with my son for a month. Seems you're handling it better than me."
You could only scoff at his response.
"Oh don't worry, there's been plenty of drinks for me too. I'm a happy drunk though, so I guess it helps my plan. After all, as long as I'm laughing, I don't have time to cry. I don't think I'll be able to stop crying the day I begin. So I'm just trying to hold off as long as I can."
"Aren't we all."
Silence fell in the garden again, and the two widowed souls walked back to the house. It was starting to get back and Tommy had noticed Finn's car pull up a few minutes ago. When you reached the back door you were met with a fluffy beast knocking you over as soon he'd caught sight of you. Cyril was happy to have at least one of his masters back. The man taking care of his now treated him well, but he still missed life with his old owners, even if he couldn't express it in words. 
While you reunited with Cyril and applauded Charlie on the tricks he taught the dog, Tommy went to gather some of Cyril's things and have Francis prepare a room for you. Tommy had no clue where you'd take the dog, but seeing as you seemed adamant about staying away from Margret, and apparently didn't despise Tommy (somehow), he thought it made sense to let you stay the night for a bit. And something still told him to convince you to stay even if just for one day.
On his was back down the stairs he noticed something sitting on the table and there was a click in his brain. He remembered the curiosity brought to him that morning during breakfast, and suddenly a lot of odd business meetings made sense. He finally realized who'd messed up the empty dirt patch that night two years ago. Grabbing the object off the table, Tommy headed back to the drawing room. Inside you were still petting your beloved dog, even though Finn had taken Charlie to get ready for bed. 
"Y/N, I went up to grab some of Cyril's things, but I think it may be better for you to spend the night here. It's getting late and I don't think either of us wants the dog getting hurt if you were to crash."
You laughed gently at his words, not caring to ask about the hand behind his back. Not thinking much about his words, you accepted his offer. You knew you should be mad at him, hate him, even what to kill him, but you couldn't. You were too tried to be mad at anyone right now. Besides, it wasn't like you knew where you were going anyway. You just wanted to see your...his dog again. Maybe if you had that little piece left, it would make it easier to move on. It would make it easier to pretend you weren't alone now.
"Alright. I'll stay. But only so Charlie can give Cyril a proper goodbye. I'd hate to tear them apart, it seems they've made close friends."
"They have," Tommy smiled, genuinely happy thinking of how closely his son had bonded with the dog. "Cyril's stuff is in Charlie's room now infact. They've taken such a liking, I can't keep them apart. We can get his stuff tomorrow, but I do have one thing I think you may want now."
You looked towards the Shelby man curious. "What is it?," you questioned.
Silently Tommy extended his hand to give you the object he'd snagged from the table.
It was a single rose... But something was different about it. The stem seemed to have grabbed something buried within the dirt to take along as it began to grow. Twisting and turning all the way out of the dirt, outwards towards the sun, as if offering the shiny object up. An ages old promise from the rose to the sun of an endless truth, never broken even in death...
The rose was offering his sun a ring.
And not just any ring. A wedding ring. Simple and worn, it had been stolen off a rich toff from a boxing match many years ago. It had survived work and war, seen blood and lust, and so many other things. And while the ring didn't define the marriage it represented a promise you thought you'd never see again. But here now, seeing how tightly the rose stem had grown around it, you knew you'd never have to worry about that again. Not even death could stop the love the rose proposed to his sun. Even in death he'd still offer her life.
You couldn't even take the rose from Tommy's hand before you finally broke. Laughing at the irony, Tears streamed down your face as you sunk to your knees, all the pain you'd been bottling up coming out. And thus you sobbed, hard. So hard in fact, it felt like you couldn't breathe. And you sobs were still mixed with laughter of disbelief as a million memories ran through your head, but none as loud as the one of that night and the morning after. 
Two years ago you'd lost that ring. Alfie promised that he'd look multiple times whenever he went back to the house, even if it meant having the meeting in the garden like "a bunch of prissy ladies at a fucking tea party" as he'd called it. And for two years he'd had no luck until now. But today, your rose had finally found the lost ring, even if you'd lost him months ago. 
Setting the rose gently on the table, Tommy sunk to his knees too. Letting you grab onto him, for a shoulder to mourn on. He knew you needed it. For so long you'd shut yourself away, denying the truth and trying to act like it didn't affect you. You wanted to pretend your world wasn't falling apart and now you couldn't any more. He'd been he same way, except he didn't have anyone to help him. He couldn't burden his one year old son with his grief and he knew most of his family still resented Grace to some degree. They hadn't been as destroyed by her passing as he had. He didn't want you to be alone like he had. For as many terrible thing as Tommy had done, he couldn't bring it upon himself to leave you alone now. And so he sat on the floor, holding you in his arms as the cracked dam finally broke. 
That night, until the early hours of the morning, Thomas Shelby sat comforting the wife of the man he'd killed. And he would until she'd fallen asleep, finally worn out from her grieving. In the morning he'd offer breakfast and they'd get to talking about the loves they lost. They were still both hurt and broken and mourning what they'd lost, but they weren't alone now. For two people so different they both knew what the other felt so deeply. Little snippets and stories about happier times, while watching a little boy play with a big dog, laughing as the pair rolled in the grass. And while both still grieved, there was a peace to be found in being with someone who knew how they felt. 
And while they talked, Y/N played with the ring on her finger. It was new and expensive and fit just right. This one was only two years old and didn't have many memories but she loved it just the same. And upstairs by her bed sat another ring, but this one was held tightly by a rose she'd placed in a vase. This was the ring that she loved more, and the one she really wanted to wear, but she couldn't bear to tear it from the rose just yet. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to. Maybe she'd let the rose dry out and preserve it like she use to do someone's at the flower shop when she was young. But for now she's let it live as it was.
Holding on tightly to a promise that not even death could divide...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While all this happened a mailman was headed towards Birmingham with a letter from a dead man, asking about his dog and looking for his wife....
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gabessquishytum · 2 months
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Dream and Hob are friends with benefits. This wasn't planned - certainly not by Dream - but one thing led to another, and after one of their dinners, which became frequent after their reunion, they ended up upstairs, with Dream on his back and his legs on Hob's shoulders. Dream has never been in an FWB arrangement before, but he's a huge fan now (and why did Hob waste so much time talking to him about chimneys when humanity has invented this utter masterpiece??). Hob treats him like a pillow princess, takes him with equal vigor and enthusiasm in all his forms, and they fuck all around the Dreaming and in the most exotic locations of the Waking world. They also hang out as friends, learn more about each other's lives, and all that sans mindfucking that comes with relationships. Oh yes, Dream is a huge fan. He is, in fact, in love with Hob, but he'd never lay such a burden on Hob's shoulders. Love of an Endless is a heavy thing, and Dream doesn't want to see his dearest friend crumble under it. Hob is also in love with Dream, but if 1889 taught him something, it is not to ask Dream for more than he's ready to give. And Dream already gives much more than Hob has ever hoped. The teeny-tiny problem arises when they have an especially cathartic sex: Hob is so relentless and passionate, and they go rounds and rounds, switching between the Waking and the Dreaming. As Hob whispers filthy, unbearable things into his ear about how much he'd like to breed Dream and keep him, Dream gets lost in a fantasy of them having a home…and a child. It wouldn't be enough to get preggers if Hob didn't actually mean it and dream of it, too, but Hob very much meant it and dreamt of it. Dreamt of it for centuries. And that's how mere days later - because Dream is inhuman and his awareness of what's going on inside him is unmatched - Dream feels a new life stirring somewhere deep inside. He is ecstatic and confused and scared and everything in between. But besides being afraid of failing as a father (again!), he's afraid of Hob's reaction. Apparently, their arrangement didn't involve babies. Dream briefly considers keeping his pregnancy a secret but eventually decides to come clean to Hob: his friend deserves to know he'll be a father soon, even if this child is unwanted. Another thing is, Dream can already feel that the baby isn't human: they're taking more after his nightmarish side...If only the Dreaming's library had a book How to Tell Your FWB He Got You Pregnant with a Creature 101! Perhaps it'd appear there after tonight...
Awww this is so good!! Poor Dream. He's feeling like such a stereotype - an unplanned pregnancy, potentially losing his best friend. Why is his life like something out of a bad human soap opera?! He arranges to meet up with Hob and nervously sits with his hands covering his stomach. If nothing else, he's going to love his baby a whole lot. He's actually a little bit excited by the prospect of having a little creature to love and care for. He created a dozen little baby sleepsuits with multiple limb holes already.
Hob is rather shocked, of course, because he never expected to be a father again. But after the shock wears off, he's ecstatic! He's been so desperate to forge something permanent with Dream - fwbs has been great, and Hob will always want to be Dream’s friend, but he's greedy enough to want more. He's not scared of Dream’s love, he's excited to drown in it and reciprocate everything that Dream wants to give him.
Hob is like "I did say I wanted to breed you and keep you, sweetheart. Well, let me prove to you exactly how much I meant it." He wants Dream to live with him, at least some of the time. So he can take care of him and the baby. Of course he doesn't want Dream to abandon his work and function, but wouldn't it be nice to have a domestic life together? Can't they be best friends who are also deeply romantically in love and having extremely hot sex? Well, it's not something that Dream has tried to before. He's never actually been friends with any of his romantic partners. Could that have been the problem all along?
He senses that he'll need all the help he can get with the baby (who is living up to their function and being a proper little nightmare already). And if he moves in with Hob, at least he can get footrubs on demand. Maybe he'll finally get to be happy with Hob and the creature they've created through their love?
At least he's going to try. And Hob is so proud and grateful for that. He'll give footrubs 24/7 <333
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alchemicaladarna · 2 months
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All the soulfire posting on the tag makes me so happy because yes!! They are found family!!
They're family in the sense that when the whole world in and out of the game was rooting against them, they were there for each other- and they supported each other above all else. And that's all they needed to pull through.
Now, let's talk about the day GGN was eliminated. A lot of people criticize the team for not trusting Tubbo, their own leader, but really, I think that proves how good their team dynamic is, and a testament to Tubbo's leadership as well. Also if I remember correctly, all teams were supposed to be eliminated if GGN wasn't? So yk, it was kinda the right decision overall. For me, a good team dynamic doesn't stem from an unquestioned devotion to one's leader- but rather, a cooperation between the team that includes trust and communication. But trust doesn't just come from anywhere because it has to be proved- it has to be earned. And this day and Tubbo's determination overall, proved that he is a good fit to be a leader. Soulfire trusts each other's skills and cooperate with each other, and unite the team even when the odds are stacked against them. Another fun thing to keep in mind was a lot of the team members had hostile relationships before the event, but the hardships they faced in purgatory literally changed them and established a mutual respect and friendship a lot of them still have for each other months after the event.
One of the things I loved about the event were the post-purgatory podcasts or Tina, Tubbo, and Bad just chatting after the server closed. This is where the co-leaders title came from because they would strategize together and plan what they needed to do for the next day. That, or they would simply try to comfort each other if they lost that day. They were simply doing their best, and that was enough.
The time they spent with each other, in that cozy base, just trying to survive another day changed a lot of relationships and strengthened many more, and that's why I'll forever be a Soulfire fan.
It's the lasting impact of this family they found when it was nothing but cold, dark, and unforgiving. despite how terrible it all was, the love was there, and it still is, and will always be.
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dairy-farmer · 5 months
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The recent Dicktim ask about Dick cheating on Tim with Babs!!! It hurts so bad 😭😭😭.
I want Tim to get together with either Jason or Damian after. I don't know which would hurt more, Tim getting together with the man he once thought as his little brother or the one he slightly thinks of as his own child.
I want everyone around them having a difficult time moving on from the relationship. They really thought Dicktim would be endgame. Everyone thinks the moment will pass and they'll go back to being disgustingly in love with each other. Everyone except Jason or Damian.
Tim doesn't tell anyone about what happened because he doesn't want it to get away from their mission but Jay or Dami is just so mad for Tim. Babs eventually breaks down and admits why Dick and Tim broke up and Tim is frustratingly right in that it had affected their mission. They don't trust Dick or Babs. And it's causing conflict in their planning for missions.
So Tim decides that maybe the only way for everyone to move on is to show that he has moved on. He decides to put himself on the market again. But nothing sticks and it just makes things worse because now they think, Tim is so heartbroken he has taken to sleeping around and is afraid of opening himself up again.
Jay or Dami, misguidedly tries to help Tim by telling him that sleeping around won't heal his wounds and he shouldn't rush it. Tim is pissed because he is NOT sleeping around but since everyone thinks so, he should just sleep with Jay or Dami, then.
It starts a very messy affair where Tim kinda proves everyone right to Jay or Dami that he's been hurt really badly because of how low his self-esteem is now. Tim also can't trust Jason or Damian because those two tried to kill him and Dick is their brother first. They have sex a lot. And slowly but surely, Tim moves on. They prove to Tim he's worth everything. They fall in love.
At first, they keep it from the rest. They are proven right by their decision because their relationship garnered skepticism. But slowly Nightwing and Oracle's relationship with the Bats improves. They don't get together. Tim is kinda confused why. A part of him is rightfully angry. They ruined his esteem and broke his trust and they can't even be end game? His relationship ended for a fuck? But he stops caring.
And one day, Tim and Jay or Damian go to Bruce bearing two good news. They're getting married and Tim is pregnant with their child. The wedding was beautiful. Everyone was happy.
Everyone but Dick.
He watches as someone else gets his happy ending. He watches as Tim moves on from being his lover to just being his friend. He wasn't even a part of the wedding party. He was just an ordinary guest in the wedding. Everyone but Tim knows he's still in love with Tim and they don't want to give him a chance to ruin it even if he wouldn't.
-🦆
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 tim gets his happy ending!!!! he's with someone who loves him and is moving on to start his own little family!!!
and dick...well dick knows he probably deserves it. knows he's learning a tough lesson in the worst sort of way. forced to watch as the love of his life, the person he was going to marry, the person who was going to be the mother to his child...he watches as they move on and start a family with someone else and dick...part of dick was almost delusionally optimistic in thinking maybe he and tim would get back together. it had happened before. with kori, with barbara even. with plenty of people. dick and someone break things off but then inevitably they find their way back to each other.
and dick hoped...maybe in time tim would take him back. dick would do better, he'd be better, he'd work as long and as hard as it took for tim to trust him again. dick just needed to show tim that he was serious. so he didn't pursue anything with barbara. he called it quits completely with her. he and her had always been too close for comfort and it should've meant something that he'd lost more than one girlfriend because they didn't like how comfortable barbara was overstepping boundaries when he was in a relationship. they didn't like that she wore his clothes that she kept from when they dated, they didn't like she had a key to his apartment, didn't like that she sometimes spent nights over and he didn't tell them. they didn't like how he and her often had inside jokes that they laughed about in front of them, they didn't like how she grabbed his arm and his shoulder, how she leaned in too close when he'd whisper to her. dick had told himself that it was just petty jealousy and insecurity. that barbara was just a friend, that boys and girls could be JUST friends, and their hyper-focusing on the fact that they used to date just made her seem like she was competition when she wasn't.
it's donna who smacks him over the head and asks if he's fucking serious. because they're friends. he's a boy and she's a girl and she sure as shit never did crap like that. not with him, not with roy, not with wally. none of their girlfriends ever felt threatened by the fact that she was a girl who was their friend. that she crashed at their places and that she borrowed their clothes. they never once thought there was something more going on and it was because theirs was a relationship that was actually platonic. if she'd tried some of the shit barbara did (whether consciously or unconsciously on her part) he would've tugged her aside and told her she was being weird because it was. it was fucking weird for dick and barbara to act like they were still dating when dick was committed to someone else.
and what exactly was his excuse for not listening to his partner's concerns and discomforts? because that was a shitty thing too. did dick think he was innocent in that regard in enabling inappropriate behavior while in a relationship?
they had history? yeah so did donna.
they'd been through a lot together? so had donna.
she was one of dick's closest confidantes? so was donna.
dick clearly had some hangups. either about barbara or about commitments because donna knew she'd heard wedding bells. after so long of seeing dick have the worst luck with dating and relationships, she'd truly thought he was going to settle down with tim. and tim poor tim her heart broke for him. to be betrayed and fucked over by two of his most trusted people like that.
she's disappointed in dick. she really is. but mostly she's sorry that tim is the collateral damage in dick learning that there is a problem with how he conducts himself.
talking to donna gave dick a lot to think about. more than he thought. and he thinks back to the moment leading up to...everything.
how barbara let herself in with her key like always how they got to talking and laughing and how it all just progressed so naturally. and dick thinks about how if that had been someone else. roy. donna. wally. it wouldn't have happened.
dick had just been so on edge and anxious when barbara arrived. the jewelry store he'd been calling about trying to get an appointment for a consultation for months suddenly had an opening in two days and...and it seemed so fast. so quick. dick had thought he'd be waiting months to see a jeweler about making the engagement ring his father had drawn on a little sheet of notebook paper to propose to his mother with.
now it was happening in 48 hours and...dick...fucked up. in the span of an hour he fucked up years of his relationships with tim. he fucked up his future with tim, he fucked up everything they could've had.
he watches as tim disappears from his side and his life.
then when donna knocks some sense into him dick realizes what he did. what he allowed to happen, what he'd been letting happen for years.
barbara is miserable when he comes to see her. cass texted him about how she hadn't been responding to her calls and asked him to go see her. its then that dick realizes that tim has told no one of what caused their break up.
dick doesn't use the key he has to let himself in. for the first time in years he knocks and waits for barbara to answer with one of her systems.
their talk is a tough one. barbara has been beating herself up for days. she's too ashamed to speak with cass who looks up to her so much.
dick knows he can't blame her. not anymore than he can blame himself but...they need to talk. the lines in their relationship have been blurred for awhile and he'd made himself blind to it because she was babs and maybe because he wasn't all that opposed to it. they can be friends. close friends. but that's all they can be. they've been dusting away the line in the sand for too long. they're not kids or teenagers. they're grown fucking adults and they need to own up and come to terms with the fact that they messed up and it was their fault.
dick should have never given barbara a key that she could use wherever she wanted. he should've specified it was for emergencies. he never should've left stuff at her place or her at his because it just...it just seemed like they were leaving a door open.
they hadn't been firm about only being friends and now it lead to this and now...honestly unless they were certain that they could only be associates and friends...maybe they shouldn't be around each other for awhile.
barbara agrees. the regret and guilt had been eating her alive and its only a few weeks later when the family keeps pestering dick with concern about tim 'moving on too fast' and 'sleeping around' that she blurts out and admits what they did.
the backlash is swift and severe and dick deserves every moment of it. he's fucked up the one good thing in his life and now tim was trying to cope by going out on dates and..dick knows he has no right to feel hurt.
but it had been almost a year of dating before he and tim got intimate. he'd been tim's first he'd been the only person tim had ever had sex with and now...
it stops for awhile and dick is relieved. he thinks of maybe visiting tim at his apartment but knows that wouldn't go well. he thinks of doing lots of things. finding ways to show tim that he will remain loyal to him, that he'll wait as long as it takes.
he and barbara hardly talk anymore and when they do they keep it professional. anything more and the rest of the family side eye them.
things get better. slowly.
and then it turns out that tim is dating damian. damian who'd been firmly on tim's side when it came out. who had followed tim around and taken to guarding him when he and tim were in the same area.
it hurt. to know that damian's opinion of him sunk so much.
but it doesn't hurt nearly as much as knowing that he and tim are together.
the family is...skeptical. concerned. dick knows bruce tries saying something but gets shut down by damian about how the two of them are free to make their own choices even if they may not like them.
there is some concern that tim is just using damian for company or comfort. but...then they see how they are together. damian and tim had always been snarky with each other but now it seems they've turned it more outward. the family ends up leaving a gala early when the two make a few of the guests cry for some stupid comment they made about damian's new animal welfare charity.
the two get along well they...look good together.
tim is wearing a slim fitting sleek dress and damian is wearing a nice suit with a bow tie complimenting tim's jewlery. they coordinated outfits to show a united front which is such a them thing to do.
but...the thing that really hitches dick's breath is the earrings.
both damian and tim are each wearing a single pearl earring. damian on the left ear and tim on the right. the earrings were from a single set that the two split between them and it was..such a romantic gesture.
it gave dick a pit in his stomach. but he continued believing...thinking that maybe this could be fixed. that he could have tim back.
but then....almost a year later. tim is pregnant. he's pregnant and he and damian are getting married and...and...dick cries.
god the night before the wedding he sits in the hotel room of where its going to be held and he just sobs. the rest of the family is busy with preparations, they're all members of the wedding party. jason is officiating, alfred is damian's best man, bruce is walking tim down the aisle. and dick...dick is going to be seated in the second row of the venue. behind damian and tim's close friends and...god it hurts more every time he thinks about it.
this isn't...this isn't what was supposed to happen.
some part of dick thinks about objecting, of standing in the middle of the ceremony and begging tim to take him back but...god the rest of dick stamps that down because he does not want to take more from tim than he already has.
dick is miserable as he watches tim marry damian. he feels like someone is carving his heart out with a blunt butter knife.
that could've been him. dressed up as a groom, smiling so softly at tim as his bride. tim glowing with joy and happiness while his sweet womb was full with their child.
that could've been him.
and now dick had no one. nothing. tim was going to marry someone else, start a family with someone else, love someone else and dick...dick would be stuck outside watching.
and he had no one to blame but himself.
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softestnatalie · 7 months
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Abandoned corridors of the heart
Pairing: Daryl Dixon x female!reader
Timing: Season 1
Chapter Summary: Your group arrives at the CDC and things don't go exactly as planned. Daryl seems to regret the words he’s said.
Warnings: alcohol use, characther death, dead bodies
Autor's note: I really love this chapter 'cause Daryl and reader finally have their first honest moment together (even tho they're drunk lol). Also, I am so sorry for the long wait, school is really time consuming, but I hope you can unterstand. Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated and the support would really help me. Have fun reading <3
Chapter 4: Just for one moment
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Your eyes followed Jim as the van started moving again, his body leaning against a tree with his eyes closed as he tried to fall asleep in peace. Your heart cracked a little more at the state he was in; his skin bright red and glowing, showing how much he must have been burning up from the inside, the droplets of sweat running down his face and neck only proving the point.
He refused to go any further with you and your group, his body hurting unbearably and the fear of putting just a single one of his people in danger because of his bite made him stay right there - beside the road - as the rest of you drove away.
Leaving him behind hurt you more than you'd like to admit, your hands grabbing the fabric of your dirty jeans harshly as you forced yourself to let him go. You hadn't known him for long - only four days - but he was kind - kind enough to let you stay with him and his friends even though none of them knew you.
With a heavy sigh leaving your lips, you sat down on your knees, still looking out the window and watching as the woods around you blurred when Dale sped up the van. It was quiet - awfully quiet - and the tension inside the moving vehicle was thick enough to cut with a knife, the loss of yet another member of the group affecting everybody.
"You okay?" Glenn whispered after a few more minutes of silence, trying to be as private as possible, though you were sure the others could hear him just fine.
You didn't react at first and Glenn thought that maybe you didn't even realise he was talking to you but then you turned your head, staring at him with an expression he could only describe as pained. You nodded slowly even though both of you knew it was a lie.
The asian boy bit his lip in concern, not sure if he should just drop it, "You sure?" He whispered again after a moment, deciding to ask you a second time.
And as if that one simple question was enough to hurt you, your facade crumbled, the blank expression you had on your face molded into a quivering lip and furrowed eyebrows. Before you could do anything to stop it, your throat clenched tightly as a sob broke through. It was too much for you. Death and blood was all you could see in that moment - three people in just one night; Amy, Jim, and your mother. Deep down you'd always known that she'd leave someday, sooner ot later. It wasn't supposed to be this soon though.
Gleen's eyebrows shot up in shock when he heard your cries, looking around and seeing everyone's eyes directed on your tiny figure. He hesitated for a second before he reached out his arm, wrapping it around your shoulder and pulling you into his side carefully, trying to give you a small piece of comfort. Though it only made you cry harder. Your nails were digging into your palms, your body tensing as you wished to be somewhere else - alone.
Andrea placed one of her hands over yours, squeezing it softly and telling you silently that she understood your pain. You didn't look at her but you were thankful.
A few hours later, the van stopped in front of a road blockade. Glenn stood up, forcing you to lift your head off of his chest as you got back on your feet as well, following him out of the vehicle. Your arm flew over your face - covering your mouth and nose - as soon as you stepped outside, the corpses on the street making the air smell way too bad.
The group stumbled over the dead bodies, Shane and Rick leading all of you to the huge, white building with their guns raised, ready to shoot if something was to attack them.
"Keep moving, come on," Rick said, looking behind him to make sure everybody was following along.
Shane tried to pull up the shutters while Rick banged on them, trying to get inside or to make whoever was living in that building realise you were there. Though nobody showed a sign of letting you all in and you figured the CDC was empty.
You jumped when Daryl started yelling all of a sudden, raising his crossbow, "Walkers!"
Before you could even react on your own, Glenn grabbed your shoulder, forcing to to hide behind him, shotgun in hand and ready to shoot, "Stay there, okay?" He looked at you with a worried yet serious expression, "Right behind me, you understand?"
You nodded in agreement. Not only because you trusted him but also beause you didn't have any kind of weapon with you, making it quite impossible for you to protect yourself.
Everybody was tense and disappointed, the hope of getting help - maybe even some kind of cure - gone. Just gone. Shane was trying to think of another plan - another place for you to go - while Rick didn't want to accept your defeat.
"You're killing us! You're killing us!" He screamed repeatedly as he continued to bang on the shutters. And it was honestly starting to scare you, the noise attracting even more walkers, Daryl taking care of them.
"There's no one there!" Shane yelled and grabbed Rick roughly by the collar of his sheriff uniform, pulling him away and forcing him to come with the rest of the group.
And just then, the shutters opened, a bright light making you wince and cover your eyes.
Everybody's movements paused, looking at the now open building in shock - almost disbelief. Someone was there. A doctor. Alive. Your mouth dropped slightly as you realised there was still a chance. Hope.
"Come on," Glenn whispered to you, following Rick and Shane inside in small, carful steps.
The inside was - you didn't even know how to describe it - but you guessed beautiful was an accurate word. Clean. It looked almost innocent - as if everything was still normal.
"Hello?" Rick called out.
The clicking sound of a gun was heard, "Anybody infected?" A blonde, old looking man made his way towards you, keeping his gun raised.
Rick swallowed loudly, "One of our group was," he lowered his head, "He didn't make it."
The mention of Jim made another frown appear on your face, thinking that if the doctor in front of you had any kind of medicine to stop the infection, Jim wouldn't be able to recieve it anymore.
"Why are you here? What do you want?" The man asked so quickly you almost couldn't understand his words.
"A chance," you spoke up when nobody knew what to say, "We want a chance."
The man's eyes drifted towards you, noticing you for the first time. He seemed to think about your words before he eventually agreed, "You all submit to a blood test."
Later that night, Jenner let you all have dinner with him and to say you were fascinated by the dishes on the table would be an understatement. Real food, right in front of you, something you all hadn't seen in weeks. It made you crack a tiny smile, being beyond grateful for the doctor's hospitality.
"You know, in Italy, children have a little bit of wine with dinner," Dale laughed as he filled Lori's glass with the red substance, "And in France."
Lori shook her head and covered Carl's glass with her hand, taking a sip of her wine, "Well, and when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some."
The group laughed again and everyone seemed to be in a good mood for once, wearing big smiles and grins on their faces. And even though you were still really sad about your recent loss, you managed to have a good time, laughing when Carl was allowed to taste a tiny sip, watching as he swallowed it with a grimace, an 'ewww' leaving his lips.
"Now ya, (y/n)," Daryl's voice surprised you, "I wanna see how red yer face can get," He walked towards you with a wine bottle in his left hand and, surprisingly, with his lips formed in a teasing smile. You didn't think you would ever get to see Daryl smile. Acutally smile.
"Oh no, no no," you shook your head and waved your hands around, but it was no use, he was already filling your glass up, not even giving you time to take it yourself. Instead, he took it with one hand, the other grabbing the back of your head as he brought the glass up to your lips, making you drink a bit of it.
"Here, easy, girl," he said as he put the glass on the table, the group laughing once again when they saw your pursed lips, the red liquid running down the corners of your mouth.
"You got a little something on your face," Glenn teased as you swallowed and used your arm to clean your chin.
"Ha ha," you poked your tongue at him before chuckling as well, then looking at Daryl, who was still grinning.
If a little bit of alcohol gets him like this, I'll have to get him drunk more often, you thought. It was nice to see him in a better mood, less serious and guarded. And if you were being as open as you could be; the dimples that formed when he smiled looked quite pretty on him. You have had thoughts like that before - about him - but you chose to ignore them whenever they came up at night, knowing it was for the better, wanting to protect your heart from any more pain. And even though it might sound harsh; Daryl wasn't really the type of man your mother would have approved of.
After dinner, Jenner showed you the rooms your group could stay in. 6. Exactly 6 rooms - which of course wasn't enough for everybody to have their own, so the rooms had to get shared. Rick with Lori and Carl, Dale with Andrea, Carol with Sophia, T-Dog with Jacqui, and Shane with Glenn, leaving you with Daryl.
Glenn gave you an apologetic look as he walked off with Shane, making you pout like a little child. You were hoping to share a room with him since he was the closest to you out of the group. You were also quite drunk after Daryl had poured you another glass, and staying with said man - who apparently only liked you when he was inebriated - was making you a little too nervous.
He swung his arm over your shoulder, pulling you into him with a rather rough motion which made you yelp in surprise, "Come on, girl," he slurred his words and you were honsetly a little scared he wouldn't even remember the night the next morning, "Let's get us to bed," he started walking the both of you into the room, closing the door with his foot, almost slamming it shut, the loud noise ringing through the hallway.
"I can take the floor," you said, looking at the single bed - blanket folded neatly on top of it - and untangling his arm from around your neck. You waited a few seconds but when you didn't get an answer, you looked into his direction.
Big mistake.
"Daryl!" you exclaimed, averting your eyes as quickly as they had found him, "What the hell are you doing?"
"Gonna take a shower," he mumbled and eyed you a little confused once he had the buttons off his shirt open, his chest still covered though, "Wha', barbie? Never seen skin 'fore?" He walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.
You scoffed at his words, rolling your eyes and plopping down on the bed, waiting for Daryl to finish his shower so you could wash yourself as well. Again, something you all hadn't done in weeks. You took the time alone to sober up a little bit, your brain becoming only the tiniest bit clearer.
You were hoping your group could stay here on long terms. Doctor Jenner didn't tell you how long your group was allowed to be there, but if everything turned out to be as good as it seemed, you really thought your group had a chance of actually living at the CDC. If Jenner let you, that is. You would be safe, the shutters making sure that no walker could ever get inside, enough food and water for at least a few months, and real beds to sleep on. Almost as normal as the life each of you had had before the apocalypse started. Almost.
"'M done," his gruff voice pulled you out of your thoughts, your eyes finding his frame, dressed into the same, dirty clothes with his hair wet and drops of water dripping down his forehead.
You nodded and stood up, rushing into the bathroom with quite a lot of eagerness, "You better didn't use up all the hot water," you spoke loud enough so he could hear you through the door. He didn't anwser.
You took your clothes off hastily and you couldn't help the loud sigh that left your lips when the dirty garments were finally not on your skin anymore. The thought of having to put them on again disgusted you. The cold air made goosebumps rise on your pale body so you finally stepped inside the shower and turned on the water. Your mouth opened in a silent moan once the warm substance hit you, your head dropping back, savoring the sensation you hadn't felt in so long.
The transparent liquid turned into a brownish colour as you rubbed your skin, getting weeks of dirt and the proof of basically living on the streets off of you. It was quite fascinating how something so normal - something people used to do on a daily basis - can become something so special once it gets taken away from them. And you were sure that if life would ever return to normal, you would appreciate every single meal, every single shower, and every single night you would get to sleep on a bed.
A few minutes later, you turned off the water, wishing you could stay inside the shower a little longer, but you didn't want to use too much of the doctor's water, so you stepped out with another sigh, shivering at the cold once again as your body had to get used to the air. You dried yourself with a towel before you put your clothes back on, taking a mental note to wash them as soon as possible.
The mirror on the wall showed you what you had been so scared of seeing and you really couldn't even recognise yourself anymore. You felt as if a completely different person - a stranger - was staring back at you. Your skin much paler than you had ever seen it before, cheekbones and jawline way more visible than they had been just a few weeks ago, eye bags decorating your face, and your hair was - even though you brushed it as often as possible - tangled.
The sight made you frown visibly. Who even were you anymore?
You didn't want to have to see your reflection any longer so you left the bathroom in a hurry. Though, you stopped in your tracks when you saw Daryl lying on the floor right next to the bed. His body was slightly curled up and he didn't move so you guessed he was already asleep. You didn't miss the fact that he purposely left the bed to you, though, you didn't know if that made you feel happy or frustrated. You didn't want him to sleep on the floor because of you and, really, you would have been fine with taking the hard surface. And if he would have been awake you certainly would have argued with him, but he wasn't and you didn't want to wake him up. He didn't seem to sleep that much as it was so you climbed into bed as silently as possible, not wanting to make too much noise.
"Didn' mean it," you had just laid down when his voice rang through the room in a quiet whisper, making you turn your head to look into his direction, even though you couldn't properly see him from where you were laying.
"What do you mean?" You asked him, not knowing what he was talking about.
It was quiet fot a few seconds and you were sure that he really had fallen asleep this time but then he spoke up again, "What I said," he started, "At the camp. 'Bout y'all deservin' what happened. Didn' mean it."
You thought about his words and realised that this was probably his was of saying sorry. You didn’t think he would even try to apologise but there he was, telling you he didn't mean what he had said. And maybe he didn't notice, but the small smile on your face showed how much that meant to you. You hoped he would be just as nice to you when he was fully sober, but a part of you was sure he wouldn't be. Still, the fact that he cared about what you thought was enough for you in that moment.
"I know."
Tag list:
@goth-cowgirl-03 @paintlavillered @hotgirlsshareaccounts @tiedyedghoulette @alialiclouds @angelofthorr
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wenellyb · 21 days
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Random thoughts on Bucktommy and Buddie
Please bare in mind that I'm only sharing my personal opinion and that I'm always open to discuss.
The discussions I've had over the past couples of weeks have been very interesting and I wanted to add my 2 cents.
Before season 7 episode:
I'm a causal viewer of 911 and I'm also on Tumblr so of course, I know Buddie, but I've never really shipped it... I can understand the appeal and I think the ship has potential but I never felt like the writers ever intended to go there. And I'm not a big fan of non-canon ships.
If they had gotten together, however, I think that I would have enjoyed it.
What has always bothered me was the behavior of some Buddie shippers who would complain about queerbaiting on the show, when there were already several Queers characters in it and one character (Hen), who's part of the main cast. I always got a weird feeling that those shippers didn't care about Queer characters if they weren't White. There is also a spinoff of the show, 911 Lone star with Queer characters who are also part of the main cast.
To me, the fact that Buck and Eddie never got together was a writing decision, not queerbaiting or anything like that... the writers had decided this wasn't the way to go for Buck and Eddie's chatacters, because if they had wanted to write a storyline between them, they could have.
I've seen a lot of people being happy about Buck being confirmed as Bi, and I get it. But to me, it was confirmed he was bi in the 911/911 Lone Star crossover when TK told Buck he had a boyfriend after Buck asked him out. I was just waiting for a storyline to confirm it. Obviously, I always thought the storyline would involve Eddie, but I was wrong.
After Season 7 Episode 4:
I follow some 911 accounts so I knew something was happening before the episode aired and I saw a preview of Buck seemingly being jealous of Eddie leaving with Tommy and I thought... this is it, this is where the writers are going to confirm Buddie. Buck will realize his jealous and realize he has feeling for Eddie or something like that.
I was very curious so I tuned in for that episode and imagine my surprise when I realized at the end, that the jealousy wasn't about who we thought and all this time the writers had been planning a storyline with Tommy.
So to me, it doesn't look like the writers are planning a Buddie storyline. Otherwise they would have prepared it gradually after the Buck and TK's discussion.
That doesn't mean it won't change in the future, writers and showrunners can change but I have never noticed them introducing a storyline that could lead to a Buddie relationship.
Everytime I see a post "proving" Buddie, it's always showing something friends or best friends do (hugging, being affectionnate), even Eddie making Buck Chris' legal guardian is something a best friend could do.
I'm not saying that they couldn't be romantic in another context, but there hasn't been any indication that the writers are planning a romantic plot for Buck and Eddie.
The writers decided to go there with Buck and Tommy. They're treating their story like a romcom, with the kiss, the hearteyes and everything. Buck is obviously into Tommy and being ready to tell the world about him.
That's the storyline the writers have decided to give us and it's a very nice one.
I know a lot of people are expecting Tommy and Buck to be temporary but to me that's wishful thinking. It wouldn't make sense to have Buck invite Tommy to his sister's wedding just for them to break up a few episodes later. If a breakup is what the writers had in mind, they would just set up another normal date.
Shipping goggles are ok, I have other ships for which I have shipping goggles on and for which I'm not very objective.
What's not ok is trying to ruin the fun of Bucktommy shippers who are trying to enjoy this beautiful storyline but can't go in the tags without seeing a post about the ship's impeding break up.
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Coldness is my love for you
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Loki x fem!reader
warning : obsession, kiss, Loki using is powers, wounds, hurt/comfort kinda, kidnapping
Summary : What was supposed to be a simple meeting between the representatives of the twelve worlds. But an attack not only changes everything, the King of Jotunheim also strikes and finally takes what is rightfully his.
Info : The first Marvel work here wow finally a little motivation for Marvel eventho I'm not really anymore watching the latest movies and shows and stopped after Loki Season 1. I still wanna write for it so here we are plus the Fandom is still in me somewhere ;) Have fun reading.
Ps : Favorite movies : Thor.1 & Blade
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She had never seen him as cold. She never had. Ever since she had met him, the prince no the king of Jotunheim at a gathering of the worlds.
She, as a human representative of Mitgard, was also present, together with the Avengers, only as a legal representation, even if this seemed almost superfluous in the face of the gods. But then what? Right, the attack by someone unknown, something or someone who did not belong to the twelve worlds, someone from outside.
But the attack, even if the gods could defend them well, she still felt the fear as she faced these hideous figures. Herself without weapons, without strength and without a plan of battle.
She was a human, not a god or a super-trained assassin. She was just a damned substitute. She had seen Black Widow stand in front of her as the Avengers protected her agent and fought the creatures.
She could do nothing but clutch the pen in her hand tightly and hide behind one of the already overturned tables. Clutching her "weapon" tightly, she felt the floor vibrate as the powers of the gods and fighters seemed to break the room.
Her heartbeat was almost chewing the drones inside her as the battle went down. In her trembling hands the pen that had almost made her cry as she realized she should have stabbed the monsters with a pen. But in her fear she let out a scream as suddenly the wooden table was torn away. It wasn't one of the Avengers or well-meaning gods.
These creatures had found her in the turmoil of battle and made her the new target for death. Fear was in her eyes as she looked up and backed away, staggering and barely standing on her feet.
The pen in her hand all the more ridiculous as she held it in front of her. What was she supposed to do? But before she could even use the pen, something else reached her. Ice. Light and dark shimmering solid ice that had placed itself between her and the creature like a wall.
Her breath escaped in a cloud due to the rapid drop in temperature. ,,No monster should hurt a lady in my presence," she heard that voice, the silver tongue, the serpent, the god and king of Jotunheim. She saw the green eyes looking at her with amusement. This god of mischief was having fun with all this chaos as the scriptures and books always said.
His words at that time were still full of goodness, so disturbing that she didn't recognize the lie. But she should have seen it. She was only half aware of the brutal, almost joyful act of killing the creature.
She saw exactly how the warm red blood ran down the ice, steaming slightly, but it was a minor matter in the sight of the god. Because the only thing that mattered was his beautiful eyes, the green that attracted her and slowly turned red, the red of his true form.
The red of the ice giant's true form before she felt his cool hand and her vision blurred. The last thing she saw before he took her in his arms and disappeared was her friends, the end of the fight and the feeling that she would never see them again.
A feeling she was to prove right.
Because even now, weeks later, they had never seen their homeland, the earth, the avengers, their friends or family again. The only thing she saw in this cold great palace was the ice, the green of magic, when she tried to get out his spell simply created a new door, wall or end.
As well as finding him sitting on his golden throne. ,,The throne that belongs to me" she heard his voice in her head, a painful memory as his hand gripped hers so tightly that his ice threatened to pass to her and she was reminded every day by the freezing burn of what that meant.
He was a god and a king of this ice planet, but she was sure he couldn't feel love, he was simply obsessed with her. ,,My dear, you quickly understand that here on this ground... you are my property" he had said to her after a few days when she still thought the Avenegrs would come or he would take her home.
But no. It was more her fear and questioning that annoyed him when he told her this. A fact she knew to be true. For he presented her with a room of considerable size with bookshelves, a bed and although not made of ice it seemed freezing cold.
The walls and floor, though barely visible, were covered by a sheet of ice that he could see. When she moved, walked around or just breathed, he saw everything. Like a bird in a cage. Like his property as he placed more and more precious jewelry on her body.
The gold rings, the dark red gemstones, the green of her rings or the blue on her necklace. No matter what he gave, it wasn't for her, it was for him to make his property even more beautiful. ,,I've brought you something pet," she heard, as she did every day, if you could call it a day on this planet. She was almost grateful for every moment she didn't spend sleeping when he let her sleep in peace. She didn't have his attention.
But even this was only at first. ,,Thank you" came from her lips, a word she had said too often recently. She did almost nothing else but thank him, thank him. Being grateful to him was the only important thing for him.
Because that meant her love it was not a question for him she had no choice and the sooner his darling would accept this the easier he would become for her in the long run. His steps came closer, his magic passed through the ice and a chair formed beside her.
His form, though now human, she knew that when the light of the other worlds shone through the ice, his emotions came out or when he frightened her. Which he did with every second. Ever since he had "saved" her.
She barely felt the cold of the jewelry because nothing could be colder than his love. The love he gave her, she tried to lie to him when he didn't care. But she knew she would be lying if she didn't respond to him. The beginning of the beginning that still made her heart beat.
His touch was warm and not cold, his love in the form of tenderness and understanding was attractive and there was even a moment when she had loved him. But now she was his pretty jewel. Feeling his cold blue hand on hers, she looked up and gazed into those mesmerizing eyes.
He licked around her jewelry, his touch gentle, and yet she felt the warning chill he could freeze her into a sculpture, and yet he didn't. ,,Fear doesn't suit you dear," he said and something stirred in her eyes and she came back from her aversion, her thoughts.
She was with him again and saw from his grin that he knew. ,,I'm-I'm not afraid," she said to him, but she knew that he didn't even hear it, on the contrary. His hand wandered further up her warm body, searching for her warmth, something he didn't have.
She knew she was tense, knew he still needed her as leverage for the other worlds, or at least her earth. His kisses, which seemed nothing but cold, were full of love. ,,Of course you didn't," he smirked, the green of his eyes returning as she saw his true form recede.
He knew that although it fascinated her, it was like an escape reflex. You could burn yourself on any fire and you could also get freezer burn on a cold blue flame like his heart of ice. But despite everything, despite everything, she leaned into his arms, let him hold her, let him kiss her, let him tell her stories.
Because something inside her was afraid that something worse than this would happen if he stopped loving her one day. ,,You know all this coldness is my love for you," he reminded her as he felt the goosebumps shivering a normal stupid human reaction he hated it made him realize they weren't right.
But it didn't matter, it didn't matter that she knew she didn't love him. Once he had the Infiniy Stone, she would be his one way or the other, then everything would be his forever.
He gave her one last kiss knowing that it was all just a game, a trick at the cost of time. But he was the god of mischief, he could play this game for a long time to come.
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