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#but i think exploring this piece Maybe helps give more in-universe reasons about it as well
blueskittlesart · 1 year
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Something that I wish I saw more people talk about is that 10,000 years between cycles is a /really/ long time. Like, all of human civilization long. Personally I think that feels like too long and it kinda frustrates me, like, stagnating in the middle ages for that long just seems incredibly unlikely. What're your thoughts on this? Do you think there's a reason they chose this time frame? That is has some sort of significance, some thematic tie-in to waiting and hope, etc?
the 10k year gap is the most important piece of botw's setting and it's fundamentally the reason everything in the story happens. you're right that it seems frustratingly long. that's deliberate. 10k years of peace is an unprecedented amount of time, especially for hyrule, which we know to be stuck in a repeating cycle which has NEVER taken that long to reset before. if you want to know why i think the gap happens in terms of like, in-universe cause and effect you can read this, but from a writing perspective, the 10k year gap gives context to the entire setting of botw.
botw is one of the most interesting explorations of the franchise's lore to date because it shows us a hyrule which has essentially forgotten its own history. every game post-sksw except botw has shows us hylians with a decent understanding of the creation myth and the reincarnation cycle. how much is remembered and accurate varies from game to game, but hyruleans almost always know that the goddess hylia gave humans a gift (the triforce) which offered a wish/ultimate power, and that throughout history evil forces have risen up to try to claim that power for themselves, requiring the goddess's heir and a hero chosen by fate to work together to defeat that evil. sometimes the courage/wisdom/power balance will be well-known, sometimes it won't be, but they almost always have at least a baseline understanding of that story. botw hyrule does not.
botw hyruleans have only the most surface-level understanding of what's actually going on irt ganon -- they know that he is somehow related to another evil force which rose 10k years ago, they know that the princess is supposed to inherit a power with the capability of stopping ganon, and they know that the soldier who is capable of wielding the master sword is supposed to help the princess somehow. this is the complete extent of their knowledge. it's unclear if zelda even knows that her power is because she is directly related to the original reincarnation of hylia or not. the triforce has been completely lost to time, and with it the reason why ANY OF THIS is happening in the first place. with so little actual understanding of the conflict they find themselves in the middle of, OF COURSE link and zelda are doomed to fail. Zelda can't possibly awaken her sealing power with no understanding of where it comes from. Link can't possibly defeat ganon without zelda's power to back him up, not to mention the inadequacy he feels for not being able to hear the sword's "voice" -- presumably fi, who hasn't been heard in a single game since sksw, but link doesn't KNOW that. he only knows that there's a voice he's supposed to hear that he can't. no one in hyrule has any idea what ganon's motivation for attacking them is because they don't even have any CONCEPT of the triforce anymore. they had no chance of winning because they had no understanding of what they were up against. and the REASON they have no understanding about what they're up against is because it's been then thousand years since that knowledge was last topical. maybe the knowledge was passed down for a hundred, or even a thousand years after the last cycle, but after a couple thousand years of peace humans will start to wonder why they bother learning all this complicated war history if it's never going to be topical again. thus, the knowledge that might have saved modern link and zelda is lost to time, and so when the time comes that a new hero and princess ARE needed, they are forced to spend years carrying out empty gestures, with no clue what they ACTUALLY need to defeat ganon. i think the most obvious example of this is the spring ceremonies zelda does in botw. they're obviously imitations of the purifying ceremonies sksw zelda went through to regain her memories as the goddess hylia, but to botw zelda they're just motions she has to carry out in the hopes of gaining hylia's power. she doesn't understand the significance behind the motions she's carrying out, so of course she doesn't get the desired result.
so yeah, tldr the 10k year gap is the most important framing device in all of botw. it contextualizes the struggles of link and zelda as they attempt to recreate a story they only have a few burnt pages of. thank you for coming to my ted talk
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Okay, this may come off sounding overly Buffypilled, but I think the fatal flaw that keeps preventing the pieces from coming together in SyFy's The Magicians (a show that is often good in its elements but Does Not Cohere) is that it can't figure out the nature of its core metaphor around magic.
But Milo, you say, maybe not everything has to be like, a metaphor? Maybe it can just be a fantasy show where people cast spells and bop around between dimensions because it's fun and entertaining? And to that I say, yeah, theoretically it can be that, but stuff that wants to be emotionally resonant is usually not that.
So there's typically an operative metaphor to these things, an idea that gives structure to the supernatural elements and helps us understand what's going on thematically. So like in Buffy and Supernatural, the structuring metaphor is The Pleasant-Seeming World Vs The Monsters Below Us. You understand the story by locating various characters in terms of their role in the conflict -- predators, protectors, prey -- and there's an ongoing tension around whether or not it's okay for protectors to dabble too much in Monstrosity, if the powers and tactics of the Monstrous can ever be repurposed for good.
That's not the structure of all stories, even in that genre! Teen Wolf and Harry Potter both have "secret occult world parallel to the familiar one" premises, as does The Magicians, but none of those stories impose the predator/prey metaphor onto their worlds. Teen Wolf structures its metaphors around the opposite assumption: that the supernatural element (The Wolf) is inherently neutral, and that accessing it makes characters simultaneously more dangerous and more capable of good. Hunters are bad guys in that universe, but good guys in Buffy and SPN, because the audience understands that "magic" is carrying a different set of meanings in the different stories, right?
The novels that The Magicians is based on has an extremely clear and pointed perspective on the meaning that magic carries metaphorically, and it's a positive meaning. Magic stands in for the power to make sense and meaning out of your own life, which is why the books follow Quentin's process from being a frustrated child using escapist child-stories to distract himself to playing an active role within those stories to assuming authority as a Magician King to ultimately killing the god of his childhood fantasy stories and creating his own Magician's Land to explore. Gaining more magic is always good in the books; it makes Quentin more sure of himself and the world, and it makes him more able to change it. It's an obvious metaphor for evolving over his 20s from a child who consumes stories to an adult who tells his own story.
But that's not the case in the show. A significant percentage of the show is an argument with itself about what magic even is -- does it solve problems or create them? If it's the reason lives across the multiverse are constantly at risk, is that bad? It sounds bad! But it's also power, and the show is highly sympathetic to the desire to Have More Power -- often completely divorced from the purpose or use of power. Gods seem mostly terrible, except Persephone, who's right to give Julia divine power, which we want Julia to be able to keep? But why do we want Julia to be a god? They're terrible! It's not clear. The nature of the power isn't clear, but the show has a general bias toward more power being a good thing -- except that the Library clearly has too much power, and so probably does Brakebills, both of which withhold magic for purposes that are protective or elitist or both? The show advocates for fewer restrictions on magic, but it also shows total carnage resulting from minor fuckups with magic, so -- does it really want the Library to just throw open to the floodgates? Doesn't it pretty strongly imply that a bloodbath would ensue if people had unfettered access to magic?
I realize it kind of sounds like I'm saying complicated stories with conflicting perspectives are bad, but I'm not. I just think it's difficult to know how to feel about anything that happens in the show because of this extremely loose approach to its use of themes. Alice is presented as wrong and bad when she tries to stifle magic, because the other characters like magic, but is she wrong? Why is she wrong? Why do the other characters like magic so much? It's presented as something that provides -- meaning or joy or some quasi-spiritual sense of identity ("the secret heart of who you always were"), but the show doesn't actually make that case, it doesn't demonstrate that the characters are better or happier because they're Magicians -- not in the same clear way that Scott McCall or book!Quentin are demonstrably more confident and comfortable and wiser at the end of their stories than they were at the beginning. As many times as I've watched The Magicians, I have to say I get less convinced every time that any of them benefit much from being Magicians -- and yet the story itself seems sure that they do, that magic has inherent value of some kind.
That's a weird combination, and it leaves me with the uncomfortable sense that the addiction metaphor is the one the show is fleshing out most fully. Fogg offers Quentin magic in exchange for his pills. Julia can't access magic legally and immediately behaves exactly like a junkie. If you do too much you'll be consumed, leaving an angry ghost. Kady's literal substance abuse, like Fogg's, is entwined at every step with the struggle to cope with the traumas of magic. Eliot is possessed by a creature of enormous magical power who is enthralled by the sensation of being high and has no perception of limits or consequence. They go back and back again to this entangling of magic and intoxication and addiction and self-destruction, but they never seem either aware of or willing to admit that they've created a world where magic itself is an addictive intoxicant, unable to provide real solutions to anyone's problems, but just pleasurable enough compared to the pain of sobriety to keep people chasing the sensation right over the cliff.
It's not intentional enough to be a metaphor that carries through consistently and explains everything, but it returns so frequently as a subtext that it ends up seeping into all the gaps where they've refused to show up with any other clear thematic agenda.
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thatspiritualbabe · 15 days
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How Societal Influence Makes it Difficult to Navigate a Twin Flame Journey
Raise your hand if you ever felt victimized by the following quotes:
"If he wanted to he would"
"If he truly loved you, you wouldn't have to question where your relationship stands"
"Actions speak louder than words"
If you've been on your twin flame journey for awhile, you probably already know the formula. There's always a runner and there's always a chaser in the relationship. If you're reading this, you're likely the chaser, otherwise known as the one more spiritually awakened than the runner. The runner is not nearly as awakened as you are, so they panic. As a result the runner may ghost, withhold a commitment from the chaser, get involved with a third party (or 3p for short).
I've been through all of the aforementioned examples in my twin flame journey. This really put me through the ringer emotionally. I'll be honest, some days it still does affect me. Twin flame relationships are meant to trigger you--bring insecurities or fears to the surface-- so that you work through it and grow as an individual and as a twin flame. It's not an easy thing to heal from, yet this healing stage is a piece of the puzzle that guides you to reunion with your twin flame.
I feel my healing hasn't been linear. I'm much better mentally than I was when these incidents happened, and I'm proud of how far I've come. I think societal influence has played a factor in why my healing has come in waves, and I'm sure other twins can relate. This goes back to the quotes I placed at the beginning of this article. There is much more awareness on social media nowadays about toxic relationships. On the surface, one can see the runner's actions and say "this relationship is toxic", "it's not logical to pursue", "the writing is on the wall", etc. When we have negative experiences, it's human nature to want to seek comfort from family, friends, maybe even a therapist. In my experience, seeking comfort can be both helpful and harmful. I say harmful, because the ones we seek comfort from usually tend to give unsolicited advice. And, if that person is not as spiritually enlightened as you are, you are likely to get a "logical" response in return. "You deserve better", "he's a douche", "there's other guys out there who wouldn't put you through this"--believe me, I've heard it all. I've always been a hopeless romantic and I truly want to believe in all the good that comes from a twin flame relationship. Once you and your twin conquer all of your triggers and heal and come into union, it's said to be the greatest love of all--you'll never have to relive any of that bullshit ever again.
So part of my healing includes trying to kill the noise. Take "logical" advice with a grain of salt; most logic is influenced by ego to begin with. Now, that being said, there are times you should reconsider if you want to persist with your twin flame. The ghosting, non-commitment, 3p-- we're human, we're flawed, we make mistakes. If the runner can grow from that, take accountability, and treat you like a queen/king going forward, I say explore the connection and see if you both can move past it. However, if mistreatment and disrespect is a constant you may decide you want to reconsider. We all have our limits for what we can tolerate. NEVER condone abuse. The Universe will often provide you signs for what path you should take. If you still have love for your twin and you decide it's worth persisting for the reunion, you need to try as much as possible to tune out logic. After reading others' experiences, it seems like a common theme that the runner usually behaves out of fear or insecurity. Maybe your runner felt you were TOO good for them and didn't think they deserved you. Maybe your runner ran to a 3p that they felt was more attainable/in their league because they have a low opinion of themself. Evaluate and see if it's possible one of these deeper underlying meanings could've been a reasonable explanation for their actions rather than what you can see in the 3D, or on the surface.
I hope this makes sense. I hope it provides you with insight and comfort that you are not alone. If you made it this far, please consider liking, following, and sharing. I'm still very new to this and I appreciate all of the support I've gotten so far. Even if I reach one person, I'm happy to be helping that one person and making a difference. <3
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paula-of-christ · 10 months
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So I am struggling with where to go from here. I've been going to some aa meetings and of course it's in a church, most of them take place in a catholic church near me. And a huge part of 12 step programs involves finding "a power greater than yourself", and every single time I start to explore spirituality and religion I get drawn to Catholicism. I didn't have religious parents, not much influence of it in my life except for a few times my grandmother would take my brother and I to church with her sometimes when she'd visit. I've done a lot of really awful things over the course of my life (i killed someone by accident years ago) it's hard for me to believe in a God that cares about me. I'm certain something exists that created the universe, I don't know what to call it besides God. Anyway I guess my question is how would I start exploring Catholicism? Like should I just show up to a service on a Sunday and go from there, and what should I expect? I just feel so drawn to it as a whole but I have no idea what to do about it cause I've never been religious/gone to church much/etc. Any advice would be wonderful.
Boy did you come to the right place, my friend! I am glad you are going through a program to help recovery, I know that can be an extremely difficult thing to go through, realizing all of the things you've done that are not what you'd like them to be. I think the most important piece of advice I can give you regardless if you decide to become a formal Christian and join the Catholic Church, is to continue to look for that growth inside of you and the way you treat others. Sometimes it can remain hidden to us just how much we are growing.
I posted this recently about sins being forgiveable and if you just want to take a moment to read that, sit with it, and then continue on to my practical advice about how to actually convert. (under the page break)
The biggest reason I say you came to the right place is because of the patronage of my blog, St. Paul. He was complacent and considered himself a murderer prior to his conversion to the Church, and then after experiencing the Risen Christ, became the greatest evangelist in Church History. He wrote the majority of the new testaments. All of those letters authored by Paul, is the Paul that helped the temple officials find and stone many of our first martyrs, including a tradition where he helped martyr the first martyr, St. Stephen.
You can read his conversion in Acts chapter 9, but if you go a little bit earlier in Acts, you can read about the persecution of the Christians as well.
The first step to formal conversion, since I think you already have what you need for spiritual conversion (a desire to pursue Catholicism) is to just start going to Mass. You can try out a couple of different parishes near you if there is more than one. If you google "Catholic church near me" and look at the different church's websites to find their Mass times or go to MassTimes.org I believe it is called. I would say try out different parishes to feel it out. They will all have the same basic structure but maybe the people at one parish are more friendly than others.
Once you find a parish you like, they will usually advertise RCIA classes in their newsletter/bulletin, or you can simply call or email the parish office (usually in the bulletin) to enquire about RCIA classes. RCIA stands for Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults. It is generally a 9 month class, where you learn more about Catholicism and how to live it out. At any point between signing up and the Easter Vigil, where people in RCIA are brought into the Church either through baptism or confirmation (both if you're getting baptized, but if you already are, just confirmation) you can decide not to become Catholic. If you need more time or if you decide to go with a different Christian Church. Ideally you stick with it, but it unfortunately does happen.
A note about sin and being sorry for it; through baptism we are saved. We have an obligation after that to remain in good standing with God, but we can always get back to good standing with God. The only reason we are alive, or the world exists, or for any of this to be here, is because God loves each and every small part of us, down to the very atoms, immensely, and wills for us to remain here. If God, who is Love, stopped loving us, we would stop existing. Just because it is difficult for us to forgive ourselves, does not mean that God has difficulty forgiving us. God understands our struggles, because "he was made sin so that we might become righteousness" (2 Corinthians 5:21) but he doesn't sin. He was tempted in the desert, and again in the Garden of Gethsemane, but He did not sin, because He is God.
I cannot stress enough how much picking up a Catholic bible is important, and reading the Gospels. I specify Catholic only because the Catholic bible has books in it that Protestant bibles do not. A good translation that I personally like is the New American Bible Revised Edition (NABRE).
Be assured of my prayers and please reach out on or off anon if you need some more encouragement!
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northerngoshawk · 3 months
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😡🫦😀 for the fic ask game!
hi hello sorry this is eons late um--
i really don't have a great reason to give on why except school + hyperfixation on Genshin so, uh--
i think this ask was from this ask game? idk but the emojis seem to line up so... yeah. better late than never ig. hahaha....
😡which fic did the characters control the most (like you wrote a whole ass plan AND THEY DECIDED TO FUCK IT UP)?
i'll be honest, there isn't a lot of cases where that happened? almost, if not all, of my fics tended to stay on the path i meant for them to go upon - although it may also have to do with the fact that i don't tend to plan that tediously out anyways hahaha
i think if i had to choose a fic, i would go with a thousand and one lifetimes. it was just meant to be only a few words each section, but then each section kept growing. and growing. and growing. and--
yeah, ig it can't be helped tho. i really, really love the platonic (and potential platonic!) relationships Aang could have with the rest of the cast in ATLA, not to mention that AUs are my bread and butter and i love love LOVE exploring established dynamics in a newfound setting.
🫦what is your biggest regret in one of your fics whether it be something you wish you didn't do, or you wish you did do?
i think one of the things i regret was writing bleeding out (with you to carry me home) in general, mostly because it just... it feels like gratituitous angst. it doesn't really have much of a purpose, other than to produce some kind of angst. maybe it was a fix i needed when i was writing it in the moment, but now, looking back... i just don't think it serves much more of a purpose beyond that.
with that being said, a specific regret i have is writing the platonic zukaang section in there. not because i don't like it or i don't want it there, it's that i feel that it's one of the only redeeming qualities of this fic. it's a pretty nice jewel of writing, and i think it deserves to be in a more... thought-provoking fic, ig? idk.
maybe i'm just being overly harsh to my past self, the same way most of us are to our past writing skills. it's not like i'm gonna delete the fic or anything either, i guess it's just me wondering what could've been.
😀which of your fics did you not think a lot people would like but they did?
hands down The Dishonored Blade. it was an incredibly niche fic that was written just for me, and considering it combined ATLA and League of Legends, i'm still surprised i got the amount of kudos i did.
i think a part of it could have been it was written and published during 2021, when the ATLA fandom craze was still happening and thus a lot of people from both fandoms were present at the time. especially when compared to its sequel The Darkened Path (which was written in 2023), i feel like i would have to attribute most of my kudos to the fandom craze.
either way, i'm still pleasantly surprised at the kudos count and even fans who commented on this piece! there was even a reader who was knowledgable about the League of Legends lore and asked to see a more fleshed out universe of this form. it really warms my heart knowing that even the most niche of fics will find its place somewhere... even if it's not where we initially thought.
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alch13 · 10 months
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Mapping
As a new campaign is coming up for me (Ofcourse as the Dungeon Master, what do you expect), it is time to come back to the horrors of world maps. While some may like it, some may be good at it, i suck at it. So i decided to compile a few things that i think might be useful to people who also have no idea what they are doing.
Once again, I am no professional. So this is just how i personally do it. I do not have some TTRPG mapping degree from Matthew Mercer Academy.
Software or physical.
I run TTRPG's exclusively online, as my friends can't come together for a myriad of reasons. However others may come out of their basements to play in person, there is no 'correct' way of play. Therefor, depending on your situation, physical maps may not be useful to your players. I personally do not recommend drawing a map on paper and then taking a picture for online play. Instead consider scanning the map and then sending it, as maps require decent quality to be read and understood. When playing in person, honestly consider simply drawing a map on a piece of paper. Players LOVE props, so having a physical map can really improve your gaming experience!
2. Online software.
There are hundreds of apps and sites made for mapping. However there are a few things i've seen crop up a lot. Simply using a drawing program, even something like Paint, is honestly fine! If you don't need magnificent detail and looks, just scribbling some stuff on Paint can do wonders. It's a game about your imagination, so it's in my opinion completely fine to simply say "In universe, this map looks way better". OR, simply say that the map maker really is just kind of bad at his job! But even then, plenty of awesome, good looking maps have been made in art programs. No need for expensive equipment. Another program i personally use is Inkarnate. 'Inkarnate' is a free site you can use for plenty of map making. My friends and i use it all the time, and if you're good with it you can make stunning maps. There is also a paid option if you wish to get more out of this site. While it takes a fair bit longer then the drawing method, you can get a lot out of this site. There are ofcourse a lot more programs, but for specifically world mapping this is what i use.
3. What to add.
There are two main distinctions I use when drawing maps: DM maps and PC maps. DM maps are for the Dungeon Master only. They include all information, even the areas that are hidden or are not accesible yet. Giving this map to players is similar to spoilers, so keep this one to yourself. A PC map, is a map with the information that people in the world itself would know. It still includes lakes, forest, mountains and known towns. But maybe not the hidden underwater city on the bottom of the lake. This means that the party can freely inspect this map, and maybe even get a few clues to secret sites, but still need to explore to find interesting things. Besides that, the important things to always add is: towns, rivers, roads, forests , mountains and other landmarks. With these things the party has plenty of information to be able to navigate the world you have crafted.
4. Is it really needed?
I would honestly say that a world map is not always needed. If the party is not going to a whole other continent, why make a map of it? Regional maps is where it becomes tricky. While a map can really help with the PC's understanding the world, it can also be limitting. Once you send the map to them, it can be hard to change or add things to it. If you wish to add an entire town halfway throughout the campaing, you can still do that if there is no map. However if there is a map you are limited to the things that are on it. Unless ofcourse the map is false, or missing information. The last two can ofcourse be interesting plot hooks for your campaign, however it is something to be kept in mind. Maps are a tool, not a necesity.
I hope this was helpful, honestly i am just using this to kill some time until my classes restart in a month or two. I might make a follow-up at some point for locational maps and battle maps, however it's not like i plan these things. Also, be aware that there are MANY tutorials on Youtube for map making. So if you wish to learn more, I recommend looking there.
Have a good one!
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rissynicole · 2 years
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6, 13, 14, 18 and 19.
6) What topic would you love to explore in your writing?
I really want to explore themes that are, for lack of a better word, more “adult.” Now, when I say that, I mean “adult” in the sense that I want to write content that explores the search for identity that so many people in their twenties face--the feelings of independence, loneliness, frustration, and everything else good and bad that make up those formative years. Those feelings embody a lot of what I am personally going through as someone that age, and I imagine it would feel cathartic to put them down on paper. 
13) What feedback did you receive for your writing that stuck with you?
I’ve received a couple reviews from people who told me my writing made them want to write, too. I also had someone tell me my writing helped them out of a really hard time in their life. Let me tell you, those are really powerful reviews to receive, and I legitimately tear up when I go back and reread them. 
14) What is something that you feel weird/uncomfortable writing about?
Well, this is unoriginal, especially for people who know me personally, but any kind of smut would be incredibly uncomfortable for me to write. Maybe it’s not even that I would feel uncomfortable; I would just feel out of my element. I don’t really have any interest in reading it, and I feel like writing it would make it all too obvious that my heart isn’t in it. I’m all for sweet, cutesy, lovey stuff, but the purely physical stuff isn’t my cup of tea. 
18) Show us a piece of dialogue you really like.
I really have a soft sport for some of the very first lines of dialogue I wrote for Parade, especially between Zim and GIR. I’m proud of how I portrayed their relationship, and I feel like I made it as true to canon as I could. 
"Where is it? Where is it? I can't leave this stinking planet without my, my...ugh!" Zim muttered angrily, pacing the floors and searching through various nooks and crannies.
GIR wandered in with a plate of French toast. "What you lookin' for?"
"My wig!" Zim spat, growing ever more frantic as he searched.
"It's on your head!" GIR squawked, accidentally spilling some syrup from his plate as he leaned forward, pointing directly at Zim's stunned face.
Zim swiftly felt his head, tearing off the black wig and revealing his two antennae, which sprang upwards as if spring-loaded. They slowly flattened back against his skull again as he sighed in relief. He straightened, composing himself once more.
"GIR, it's very important that we arrive to the convention well prepared. That means giving our insubordinates a lesson in what it truly means to be an invader." He shook the wig in GIR's face as he spoke. "We must demonstrate just how we have managed to seamlessly blend in with the humans."
19) Show us the line you want readers to remember from your story.
Nostalgia always has a special way of leaving lingering bliss in even the most mundane of memories.
Yeah, not the best line in the universe, but I feel like the core meaning is true. I’ll think about a time 15-year-old me stayed up late working on a project, and for some reason, it feels magical to 24-year-old me. Why? Maybe because the house was so silent and still while I worked. Maybe because I remember listening to the new Lorde album for the first time, and I’d learn to associate those songs with my early high school years. I don’t know. All I know is that this memory feels special and sacred even though I wasn’t doing anything particularly special. Nostalgia is a weird thing.
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mymarifae · 3 months
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just finished the trailblaze mission the other day and immediately went to your blog bc i knew you'd be sane about it 😭 absolutely baffling to me but somehow not surprising that no one seems to care about the mystery like???? there's so much weird shit going on and such interesting pieces of lore about memoria and different factions and how they interact in this absolutely huge universe??? i also loved firefly i'm so sad that people don't seem to care much abt her :( she was so sweet and the fact that they touched on chronic illness w her character and her using the dreamscape as a way to escape from that reality... this patch was so so good in so many ways and i'd love to hear your thoughts if u have any!! :) (also the MUSIC???? if i can stop one heart from breaking had me in actual tears)
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE FIREFLY i got another anon asking for my thoughts about what happened to her and i'm still kind of wrapping my head around. That. so i'll save all that for later! she's definitely a new favorite of mine, though. we didn't get to spend too much time with her but like yeah she won my heart pretty immediately. she was so... genuine? sure she hid a lot, but she didn't seem like she wanted to. it was more like she had to. not for her own sake, but for stelle's
that was the other thing that really got me! the bond she formed with stelle. like oh my god. they CONNECTED... stelle ADORES her. they felt so comfortable in each other's presence despite the wall firefly had to keep up... stelle picked up on the thing i just mentioned above: that firefly wasn't entirely honest not to give herself an advantage in the game of penacony (like aventurine and, to a degree, black swan) but to keep stelle safe in the midst of it. and it was for this reason that stelle chose to trust her. and to offer her genuine friendship in return
the entire sequence of exploring golden hour and then dream's edge with her was sooooo nice. it just made my heart feel at ease. and also yes if i could stop one heart from breaking is BEAUTIFUL and i want it on spotify rn. so i can loop it for 58347685673453485734 hours
my thoughts about the mystery on penacony as a whole are like. well:
the key to what caused firefly (... ?) and robin's deaths lies with misha and a child's dream
not saying that in the way some other hsr fans are and theorizing that misha's evil, btw. i really doubt that. this comes off more as a ... ralsei deltarune situation. two genuinely sweet kids who just want to go on adventures and live their lives but got mixed up in the fucked up inner workings of the worlds they live in
misha's grandpa is obviously a nameless and i'm 75% sure he's also the watchmaker (i say 75% because someone - a random npc, maybe firefly, or someone else, i really don't remember whose mouth it came out of - says that clockie was designed in the watchmaker's likeness and i don't think misha's grandpa is a talking clock . so. um. ...)
clockie is going to be a bigger part of the plot than he is now and there's totally going to be something fucked up underneath the cartoony exterior
aventurine stresses that we can't trust acheron because she's an emanator, but an emanator of who, i wonder...? her connection to the dream world, her memory problems, and the way some of her dialogue varies from player to player (INSANELY COOL TOUCH BTW) makes me want to say fuli. or possibly... IX. mythus? i guess lan and nanook are possibilities but i kind of really really really really doubt that
idk like i mentioned in the tags on a different ask i gotta properly explore penacony and read all the things i've picked up that i ignored in favor of finishing the trailblaze mission! and do the 53873453465786837 side quests i got from tinkering with people's emotions. Help. it'll probably help me theorize more! lots of little clues and foreshadowing strewn throughout the game's text, hehe...
i've REALLY enjoyed this update though. definitely sunk my brain even further into the hsr interest than it was before. penacony's cast is really dynamic and interesting (firefly, misha, and acheron are my faves here). also, the dreamscape pass is such a clever feature. really makes you feel like a tourist AND it's got lots of little morsels of lore inside. love it. uhg. i can't wait for the next big update i'm going to explode
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noteguk · 3 years
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bad behavior | jjk | m
This is in the same universe as “bad influence.” It can, however, be read as a stand-alone. 
— summary; in which staying late to volunteer at a self-help meeting was the best decision you made in a while. 
— contents and warnings; smut, the endless adventures of badboy!jk x goodgirl!reader, public sex (in a church…), dirty talk, fingering, degradation (name calling) but also praise, unprotected sex, clothed sex, creampie, cum play, there is a window and also reflections, rough sex, cockwarming, jk being a lil shit because that’s his main personality trait, jk smokes (only mentioned), enemies to fuckbuddies: dawn of the first day 
— words; 8.2k
— author’s note; for the anon that asked how their first time was like ;) join me as we explore the lore of this godforsaken couple 
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It was your mother’s idea for you to find a new place to volunteer. According to her, it had been a long time since you experienced “the invigorating energy of community work” — last time was when you were trying to level up your college application — and it could really “soothe your anxious soul” during the trying times of college finals. Apparently one tutoring program and two research projects weren’t enough to distract you, but you could see where she was coming from. 
In the end, you accepted. The old places you used to volunteer in had either shut off their programs or were just too far away from college for you to consider. At first, you decided to follow your mother’s suggestion and tried to work with children — “small miracles”, as she called them — in a local daycare. Which ended up being a terrible idea. 
You liked giving back to the community, you really did, but it wasn’t long until you realized that working with infants hasn’t been your wisest decision, and that children weren’t miracles at all. You got tired of going home covered in paint and with pieces of playdough entangled in your hair, and that was when you weren’t unlucky enough to get hit with other, less clean fluids. 
So you eventually gave up — both on the daycare and on the faint idea of one day going into pediatrics — and searched for a new place. After having to yell your way through retirement homes, and getting fed up with washing people’s sidewalks, you finally settled in a program that was flexible and light enough for your intense college hours: preparing (and then later cleaning up) a room that was reserved in a local church for weekly meetings. 
The entire ordeal took about two to three hours off your day, and more than half of it was spent as free time: waiting for the meeting to end, cramming piles of information in a small room next door. You didn’t really know what the meetings were about since they changed practically every month — they were, at first, a support group for teenage mothers, then it became an AA meeting, then a group for drug users trying to quit. Lately, you were starting to think that the church just gave away the room for whoever had the money to rent it, so it wasn’t a surprise when it was reserved for a motivational speaker to give confidence lessons. 
You had researched the guy, some old dude with an unpronounceable name and a sketchy background, and found exactly the type of person you had expected. Yes, you were in the house of Christ, but you were still being heavily judgmental of the fact that he was giving those talks when he had no qualifications whatsoever, and was probably making bank off all the self-help books he regurgitated at least twice a year to prey on vulnerable people. You did share your worries with the administrative office of the church, but they ultimately fell on deaf ears, and you gave up on the idea of kicking his ass out of the holy grounds anytime soon. 
It was after one of those pseudo-motivational talks that you walked into the empty room, ready to clean everything up before rushing back to your place, where your roommate had promised to greet you with some wonderful takeout. The chairs were still placed in a circle on the center of the room, where they had been since forever, and you made sure to align them perfectly before you moved on to the litter that had been thrown around the place. 
One good thing about those self-help meetings was that they were a lot cleaner than a lot of other attendees, so the “picking up the trash until your back started to hurt” part passed by surprisingly fast. You had just moved on to the snack table, analyzing what you could still save, when your soul almost left your body. 
“Hey, you,” you heard a known voice behind you. “What are you doing in here?”
You swiftly turned around, heart thumping violently against your ribcage. You didn’t know how you hadn’t let out the biggest, most blood-curdling scream ever, but that was just the first of many miracles of the night. “Jesus Christ,” you wheezed out, taking one hand to your chest. “You shouldn’t sneak up on people like this.” You swallowed dry, some part of your brain recalling that he had asked you a question. “And I’m volunteering here.” 
“I didn’t sneak up on you, you’re just jumpy.” Jungkook scoffed, leaning against the doorframe with that stupid playful smirk curling up on his lips. You didn’t know they allowed demons inside the church. “And of course you are.” He rolled his eyes. 
Maybe a few months back, his mocking tone would’ve stung a bit more. However, you had been tutoring Jungkook for about three months then, suffering through endless sessions of his whining and complaining, and you’ve grown used to his passive-aggressive antics already. You learned that Jungkook was a shark seeking for blood, waiting for any crack that would allow him to jump into a perverse little joke — about how you behaved, your priorities, or even the color of your highlighter. You, of course, always stood your ground and threw his comments right back at him — which was his initial plan, as you’ve come to realize. Jungkook enjoyed playfully arguing with you, and you thought that it was another level of strangeness and masochism you simply didn’t have time to dissect. 
Still, Jungkook (shockingly) wasn’t the terrible person you once thought he was. Every once in a while — when he was trying to talk you out of teaching him — the conversations you two would have were actually mostly pleasant, and he wasn’t awful to hang around when he dropped the whole badass persona to act like a real human being. You would even dare to say that Jungkook could be actually funny at times, and not in the bitter, sarcastic way he usually was. Sometimes, you dared to think, he could actually be reasonably nice. And also kind of cute. Even hot. 
But you would never actually admit any of that out loud. Or even to yourself, really. 
“And you?” You asked, turning back around to face the table full of half-eaten food. That looked like a battlefield, and you could already tell that there were only a few survivors left standing. “What are you doing here? Repenting?” 
Jungkook chuckled dryly. “You wish. My parents want me to quit smoking,” he said. You could not see him, but you could hear him walking closer to you as you fumbled with the large Tupperware. “We settled on this crap instead of a forced intervention.” 
You scoffed. Most of the food before you was unsalvageable — some of the cupcakes had been bitten once and then placed back, and you wondered how someone like that could function in society. “You don’t seem very motivated to quit,” you mumbled. 
Jungkook clicked his tongue. “I don’t really care.” 
His voice was much closer to you, and you felt the air leaving your lungs for a pitiful instant. You convinced yourself you had only gotten scared again. “You should care about the growing possibility of lung cancer.” 
He shrugged. “Maybe. But it’s not really on the top of my list of priorities at the moment.” 
“And what is?” You asked. 
“Amongst other things…” he trailed off and, suddenly, he was standing besides you, pointing at the chaotic pile of sweets. “I actually came back to grab another one of those cupcakes. The chocolate ones are great.” 
You didn’t know why, but his comment broke the odd tension that you didn’t even know that was there, clicking you back into your previous mentality — the one that you just wanted to finish cleaning up so you could leave soon. “All yours,” you told him, “grab as many as you want.” 
Jungkook hummed in satisfaction, reaching out to grab one special brown cupcake — an untouched one, thankfully. “I love when you talk dirty.” He almost moaned before shoving the cupcake inside his mouth, taking a huge bite off it. Dramatically, Jungkook rolled his eyes and sighed in delight. “These are fucking great.” 
You chuckled, glancing at his direction. Jungkook was dressed in all black, like he usually was, and you were starting to recognize a newfound admiration towards his constant use of leather jackets. What? He looked good. “I’m glad the self-help sessions are paying off,” you commented, swiftly placing the cupcakes inside the transparent container. 
Jungkook was paying attention to your actions now, like he noticed you were there working for the first time. “What are you doing with the rest?”
“The church will probably donate it, give it to the homeless or something.” You shrugged. “Or they’ll eat it, I don’t know. I just clean up the place and leave.” 
Jungkook laughed at that, taking another monstrous bite from his cupcake and throwing himself on one of the nearby chairs. Your eye twitched a little at the thought that he had ruined your perfect circle, but you’d have to fix that on your way out. “Sounds absurdly boring,” he sang. “And they’re not even paying you.” 
You sighed. “After all the places I’ve volunteered in, boring is a blessing,” you told him. You had just placed five hot dogs in the container, and you were starting to wonder if it would be a good idea to feed people in need with those suspicious sausages. “But, yeah, you probably don’t care about any of that.” 
“You don’t know what I care about,” Jungkook said matter-of-factly. You didn’t know if he was trying to tease you, but his voice came out so soft and monotone that you couldn’t really be mad about it. It was true, after all: you didn’t actually know what he cared about. Sometimes you thought that he could read you better than you could read him. “Want me to stay here with you? This place is probably empty already.”
You could not hold back your laugh at that, turning around so you could look at him. “Are you offering to be my bodyguard? In a church?” 
Jungkook pouted. There was a thin line of chocolate on the side of his lips, which he quickly licked clean. “I’m trying to be nice.”
You giggled, turning back towards the disgusting food. The rest was mostly trash, but you were happy enough with the amount you had managed to find in a good state. “That’s new.” 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked. “I’m always nice.”
“Always is a strong word.” You smiled, closing the lid of the Tupperware. You had managed to fill three small containers with the leftovers and, honestly, that was a big victory. “But you can stay or you can leave, I don’t mind. I’m almost done anyways.” 
He frowned. “Is that your answer?” 
You turned around. “What? You want me to beg for your company?” You smiled. “You’re mistaken if you think I’d ever do that.”
“I’m staying.” Jungkook crumpled up the piece of cupcake wrapping and threw it in the trash can besides your body. He watched you for a moment as you started to throw the leftovers away, your back turned to him and a distracted look on your face. When he broke the silence again, you were throwing the last piece of bread in the bin. “Why are you volunteering?” 
“Because I like giving back to the community.” 
Jungkook sneered at your words. “Seriously now. Don’t lie, we’re in a church.” 
“I do, actually,” you stood your ground. There was a vague sound of crickets coming from the half-open window and the low buzzing of the fluorescent lights above you, but, other than that, the city was covered in absolute silence. Perhaps that was why you felt so at peace. “But my mom told me it would be a good thing to keep myself relaxed. You know, take my mind off college stuff.” 
He hummed, and you heard him getting up from the chair. “You always do what your mom tells you?” 
You met his gaze. “Didn’t your parents make you come here?”
He smiled. “Not the point.” 
Before you could hold yourself back, your lips were curling up. Again: Jungkook wasn’t absolutely awful to be around when he actually acted like a human being. “When she says something I agree with, yes,” you told him. “My ego isn’t bruised when it comes to following someone’s idea.” 
He raised his eyebrows. “You’re saying that mine is?”
“I didn’t say that.” You smirked and turned back to the table. You started piling up the used plastic cups, already eyeing all the used plates, forks and knives that you’d have to throw away. The daycare had better eating manners than that. “Thought we were talking about me.” 
“We were,” Jungkook agreed. One of his inked hands moved to the table, and you were about to tell him that he could eat more of the cupcakes when you realized that he had started to reach for the discardable plates, throwing them away. You really didn’t think he’d help you. “Finals are coming up, though, and you care about that shit. Shouldn’t you be using this time to study or something?”
“I study while you’re out here listening to becoming your real self or, I don’t know... waking up the giant within,” you said. “I’m fine, don’t worry about it.” 
He hummed, his nose cringing up at the disgusting remains of food that stuck to the plastic forks. Jungkook seriously didn’t know how you could do that for fun. “You know there are better ways to relax than cleaning up a dusty room, right?” 
“Probably,” you agreed. The cups were already in the trash, alongside with the plates, and there were only a few crumpled up napkins to get rid of before you tasted the sweet nectar of freedom. “But here I am. That’s what I chose for myself.” 
“Literally any other option would’ve been better,” Jungkook pressed on. “Isn’t that obnoxious friend of yours in cheer or something?” 
“Who? Jisoo?” You smiled at him. No one had ever called her obnoxious, but you couldn’t say that the title didn’t fit. Jisoo could be really… intense when it came to standing up for what she believed in. “She is. She invited me to join her already, if that’s what you’re gonna ask, but it’s not really my thing.” 
“It’s a shame,” he mumbled, leaning against the table. It was a beautiful miracle how clean that room had become just by getting rid of the piles of gross food, and you had proudly thrown the last piece of paper inside the trash bin when Jungkook spoke up again. “You’d look really hot in that outfit.” 
You stopped in your tracks, taking a second to digest the claim he had so mindlessly thrown your way. Just like all-things-Jungkook, a pleasant conversation could not last long, so you weren’t even surprised that he managed to ruin that talk with such a fuckboy-esque comment. 
Also like all-things-Jungkook, he managed to awaken a reaction out of you that you didn’t even know could be there. With a faint heat in your cheeks and a frown blossoming amongst your features, you actually felt a little bit of... satisfaction with the fact that he thought that you’d look hot in that skimpy outfit. At the same time, you wanted to slap yourself for falling into his charms so easily. 
In that conflicting turmoil of emotions, all you could say was a monotone, “You cannot be serious right now.”
Even if you kind of wanted him to be serious. 
“I’m being dead serious,” Jungkook didn’t back down, much to the elation of your ego. You felt like a schoolgirl being recognized by her crush, and the idea alone made your stomach curl onto itself. What the hell were you even thinking about? Yeah, Jungkook was pretty hot, but he was also kind of a douche and you didn’t want to get involved with that mess of a person. Or at least that was what you were trying to convince yourself of. “I mean…” he continued, “you’re even rocking this knee-level dress right now, can’t even imagine how you’d look if—“ 
“You can shut up now, Jungkook, thanks,” you interrupted him. Because you didn’t know how to act when he was so blatantly flirting with you, you switched back to the same passive-aggressive behavior that you had given him for the past three months. Call it self-preservation, call it panic, but your mind simply didn’t know where to go from there. “And I’m also done here, so you can skidaddle back to whatever swamp you came out of.” 
“Awn, don’t be mean, princess.” He pouted. Jungkook was a master at getting you worked up, and you had just given that to him on a silver platter. Maybe if you had mock-flirted back, he would’ve baked away. You would never know. “I was just fucking with you, you’re too easy to tease.” 
You pressed your lips together, hip touching the corner of the now empty table. “You were pretty much harassing me,” you said playfully. 
“I was not.” Jungkook smirked, shoving his hands inside the pockets of his pants. When had the two of you gotten so close? There was barely any space between your chests. “But it’s okay, I’m not gonna compliment you anymore, don’t worry. You don’t have to be so defensive.” 
“I’m not being defensive,” you said, defensive. 
“What, is it the church setting?” He raised his eyebrows, taking a look around. “Is it making you uncomfortable?” 
“No,” you answered, crossing your arms before your chest. Jungkook followed the movement and his gaze got stuck on the shape of your breasts for a second too long, making a newfound wave of heat rise up to your cheeks. “Not as much as you’re trying to make me uncomfortable right now.” 
He chuckled. “You do look cute when you’re shy,” Jungkook teased, taking a step towards you, and you took another one back, pretending you were just going to lean against the table. You sat on it in a weird diagonal position, with one leg still on the ground and the other dangling over the edge. Jungkook was so close that, when he spoke again, voice just above a whisper, you could feel his breath on your skin. “If you don’t want me here, just ask me to go and I’ll go.” 
You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came out. The atmosphere was filled with electricity, your body drowning in the warmth of his presence, the sharp seriousness in his dark eyes, and you could not bring yourself to say anything. Did you want him to leave? 
No, you realized in a rush of adrenaline, you didn’t want him to leave at all. 
Jungkook raised one of his eyebrows. “Hm? Nothing?” He smirked, placing himself between your legs. Every nerve of your body was screaming for you to touch him, to just wrap his mouth with yours, and you simply could not respond to any of its commands. “You’re full of surprises.” 
You found your voice at that comment, heart hammering against your chest. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 
“You’re a smart girl, you can figure it out.” Jungkook placed one strand of your hair behind your ear, his gaze flickering down to your chest. From where he stood, he could see the beautiful mounds of your breasts peeking under the fabric, licking his lips at the sight. “Can I at least say that I like your dress?” 
Jungkook’s palm slithered up your knee before you could even react, moving towards your inner thigh and raising your dress along with it. His touch was electrifying, and you found yourself craving more of it, a sigh caught on your throat at the tenderness of his hot skin. 
“Something tells me that your compliment isn’t so innocent,” you told him, leaning your head back slightly so you could hold his gaze. “Aren’t you gonna complete that and say that I would look better without it?”
Jungkook chuckled. “The idea is compelling, I’ll admit it,” he said, rubbing soft circles on your skin. His other hand slithered around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “But don’t need to take it off to fuck you.” 
Your eyes grew wide at that, brain short-circuiting. You frankly couldn’t believe that was happening — the fact that Jungkook was so shamelessly trying (and honestly succeeding) to initiate sex with you. In a fucking church too, of all places. “What- what did you say?”
“You heard what I said.” His stare didn’t falter. Jungkook was looking at you like he could eat you whole, and you seriously wouldn’t mind if he tried to. You'd deal with the social and psychological implications of that another time. “Just tell me to stop and I’ll do it, princess. No hard feelings, promise.” 
This time, you spoke out and the firmness and certainty in your voice surprised even yourself. “I don’t want you to stop.” 
“No?” His voice sounded like honey, so deep and melodic even through the thick layers of his sarcasm. You had never heard him get so serious, so focused, and the thought that it was all for you was igniting a fire inside your guts. “You wanna get fucked in a church?” 
You bit your lip, blinking up at him. The point was: you wanted Jungkook, of all people, to fuck you. The fact that it was in a church was just the cherry on top, and you didn’t care about it as much as you should — your mom would be weeping blood if she knew what was going on, but you weren’t planning on telling anything to anybody. “And what if I do?” You asked back teasingly. 
Jungkook smiled, knocking the breath right out of you. You could only hope that you didn��t look as horny as you felt, because your pride was still on the line. “Told you that you were full of surprises.” He pushed one of your legs open, making you lose your support on the floor. Now, both of your feet were dangling off the edge, body trapped between his strong arms and thighs on either side of him. “Are you a virgin, baby?”
You shook your head, and your voice reached you a bit later. “No.”
“Naughty,” Jungkook said, leaning in. He stared at you like a lion stalking its prey, his gaze lingering on your parted lips before, at last, he tilted his head to the side, deciding to move towards your neck instead. “But if you have the taste I think you do, you probably had some lame missionary sex with some goodie-two shoes.” 
When he started kissing your neck, you almost forgot to give him a response. You had to bite your lip to suppress a moan, instead producing a low, shaky sigh. “And if I did? What’s the problem with some lame missionary sex?” 
“No need to get mad, I’m on your side here,” Jungkook said, one of his hands navigating up your waist, between the valley of your breasts, before grabbing your boob. That time, you couldn’t hold back the whimper that escaped you. “Did he make you cum?” 
“Sometimes,” you said, slightly flustered. You didn’t think you’d be discussing your sexual history with Jungkook, but, well, there you were. “He was alright.” 
“Only sometimes?” Jungkook chuckled, the vibrations of his deep timbre vibrating through the sensitive skin of your neck, his thumb grazing your nipple. The heat between your legs only grew, your entire body practically begging to feel more of him. “That’s a shame, I could do better.” 
You rolled your eyes. “Don’t start getting cocky.”
“I never stopped being cocky,” he responded without hesitation. Well, he was right. “And I do have a good track record.” 
“Doubt it,” you said, the ghost of a smile lingering on your lips. You knew that you were playing a dangerous game, pressing right at the weak spots of his inflated ego to see how he would react. Perhaps you’d be luckier trying to poke a bear with a short stick. “You wouldn’t know the difference between a real and fake orgasm even if it hit you in the face.” 
Jungkook leaned back and looked at you for an instant. You knew he had caught onto your challenge straight away. He liked it as much as you did, there was no doubt about that. “Let’s see, shall we?” he asked. There was no denying the devilish aura that was all around him now, suffocating you with its tempting heat. “How long do we have?”
“I’m locking up the room tonight,” you said, watching as his eyes sparked with an emotion you could not decipher. “But I wanna get home before ten. Have homework.” 
You could see him fighting against the natural urge to ridicule you for saying something like that at such an odd time, but, at the end, he managed to avoid it. “More than enough time.” Jungkook placed one hand on the back of your neck, gaze darting hungrily toward your lips. “Come here.”
And then his mouth was on yours, and everything else was white noise. Jungkook kissed you much slower than you had anticipated, taking his sweet time caressing your mouth with his; hands exploring the curves of your body and teasing their way underneath your dress. He sighed heavily against your mouth when you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, his soft tongue poking out and entering your mouth perfectly. Jungkook was a good kisser, you had to admit it, and he got your knees weak sooner than you’d like. 
His body was hot and firm against yours and you could feel the outline of his abs underneath your fingers as you trailed your hands down his torso; his quick heartbeat drumming on your palms. Jungkook’s breathing got heavier as you hooked your fingers on the hem of his pants and tugged him toward you. Instantly you noticed the outline of his hard cock against your inner thigh. 
Then, something switched. Just as you had reached out to touch his hardness, squeezing it lightly underneath your fingers, Jungkook groaned against your mouth and bit down on your lip. You had barely any time to react before he was pulling away from the kiss, gaze darkening. 
“Such a tease,” he mumbled hoarsely, his breath hitting your mouth in soft waves. His hand was hovering over your heat, his middle finger pressing down on your sensitive nub, making you whimper. “You don’t know what you do to me.” 
Jungkook was much quicker than your thoughts and, within a second, the motion of your panties being pushed aside made you fumble closer to him; your hands holding tightly onto his shoulders when he finally decided to touch you. 
“Fuck,” he groaned next to your ear, making your mind go blank for a split second. The teasing motions of his digits brushing your entrance were enough to make you whimper, hips thrusting forward in a failed attempt to make him move further. “Look at this, you’re soaking my fingers. Wanna get fucked that bad?”
But he didn’t let you respond. The sudden intrusion of two fingers inside your pussy made your back arch, nails digging in the leather of his jacket as Jungkook opened you up. “I—” you tried to speak, but it was hard to think when he started pumping his fingers in and out of you. The sounds of your wetness were a filthy symphony filling the quiet atmosphere. “Jungkook, what—” 
“God, that’s so tight,” he groaned, speaking through clenched teeth. His voice was enough to shut you up at the spot, a frail moan dripping from your lips. “Relax, baby, you’re too tense. Let me take care of you, alright?” 
You nodded, eyes drifting shut as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you. You hated to admit it, but Jungkook was already winning against your ex by a long shot: the way his digits brushed inside you, gradually moving apart to stretch you, got you searching — begging — for more. You were sure you could cum around his fingers and, when he curled them up and they dragged against your sweet spot, the idea became a lot more palpable. 
“Jungkook, you’re taking too long, I’m gonna cum like this,” you complained, chest rising and falling under the waves of your upcoming orgasm. You could feel it building up in your stomach, ready to snap, and you didn’t want it to happen around his fingers. “I wanna feel you.” 
Jungkook breathed out at your needy request, placing a kiss against your jaw. “I’m just getting you ready for my cock, baby,” he said. A loud moan dripped from you when he unceremoniously added a third finger, your legs trembling on either side of his body. “I don’t know if you can take it.”
You scoffed. “Don’t flatter yourself,” you said, only half aware of the fact that your voice sounded more like a whimper than a serious comment. “I can.” 
He smirked wickedly. You really were pushing his buttons. “We’ll see about that,” Jungkook responded. 
Within a second, right as your orgasm was about to wash over you, he removed his fingers from your pussy. The frustrated moan you let out was quickly swollen by him, his mouth rogue against yours and the sweetness of his tongue intoxicating you — probably those stupid cupcakes, you thought. 
“Turn around for me,” he asked. 
You quickly did as he requested, putting your feet on the ground before turning your back to him, hands leaning on the table. Jungkook placed one hand on the curve of your spine, pushing you down until you had your chest against the surface, ass perked up and pussy in full display for him. There was a gush of cold air against your flesh when he pulled up the fabric of your dress and tossed it over your waist, exposing your lower body for him.
The boy hummed at the sight, one of his legs kicking your feet apart so he could position himself in the middle of your thighs. “You’re pretty all around,” Jungkook commented, one of his palms grazing your asscheek before grabbing it. His motion was harsh, needy; earning a whimper from you. “Knew you would be.” 
Through the dense clouds of your desire, there was still some part of you that managed to make fun of that situation. “You spend your free time thinking about my ass?”
“Won’t answer until I have a lawyer present,” he joked. 
You felt his fingers hooking around the fabric of your panties, pushing it further to the side so you had your cunt fully exposed for him to see. The drumming of your heartbeat almost drowned out the low groan he produced at the sight of your flushed heat. 
“Princess, your pussy is dripping so much…” Jungkook trailed off, one of his fingers tracing a line between your lips. He felt the urge to eat you out, to lick you completely clean and make you cum on his tongue, but he decided that would have to wait for a different time. “Is this all for me?” 
“Yeah, all for you,” you said, weak. There was a thundering exasperation building up inside you, motivated from your denied orgasm and from the way that Jungkook was taking his sweet time. 
“Good girl,” he mumbled and your chest was filled with pride. “Can’t wait to fuck it.” 
“Then don’t wait,” you practically begged. “Just rush.”
He removed his finger from your heat. “Shh… be patient,” Jungkook told you and you swore you could practically hear the smile in his voice. You could hear him shuffling behind you, the sound of his zipper opening echoing around that still room. “I’m gonna give you whatever you want.” 
You whined at the abrupt feeling of his warm cock rubbing between your folds, its tip hitting your clit after every languid thrust. “Fuck,” you cried out, shaky. Jungkook wasn’t lying when he said that he was big, his length was so thick that you were starting to get second thoughts whether you could take it or not. Not that you would ever admit it out loud. “Just put it in, Jungkook.” 
But Jungkook was having way more fun just teasing you. “Pussy’s so wet for me.” He breathed out, his hands tightening around your hips. You felt him throb between your folds, and the sensation got you searching for air. “You’re soaking my cock, baby. You want it that much?”
“Y-Yeah.”  
Jungkook hummed, leaning in so he could place a kiss on your shoulder. “I’m gonna fuck you like you deserve to be fucked, princess,” he promised, his length still rubbing between your folds. He was so hard and heavy that your mind was spinning, your lungs drowning in expectation. “Gonna fuck you so well that you’re never going to forget it. Do you want that?”
“Yes,” your voice was a pathetic moan, and you hated your body for betraying you so easily. “Yes, please.” 
After another pec on your shoulder, Jungkook leaned back. “Be loud for me, alright?” He asked. “Can you do that for me?”
You swallowed hard — what were the chances that someone would hear you? You had no idea. “Yeah, whatever you want, just fuck me.”
“Whatever I want? That’s a dangerous thing to say.” He moved around behind you, making you flinch when you felt his cock align with your dripping entrance. The anticipation was driving you insane. “Might have to see if you’re up for it another time.” 
There was an answer somewhere in your mind — you could swear there was — but it was quickly forgotten the second that Jungkook pushed himself inside you. The drag of his cock was a delicious torture, streching you out and filling you up to the brim until you were shaking under his touch, both of you moaning at the sensation. 
“Oh my god.” You breathed out, hands turning into fists on the table. Your cheek was pressed against the polished wood, hot breath creating small white clouds on the surface. 
Jungkook released a shaky sigh when he felt you clenching around him, your body desperately trying to move closer to him. “Fuck, baby,” he hissed, his hands holding onto your hips for dear life. Gradually, he moved himself away from your pussy just so he could slam back inside, marveling on the way you trembled at the feeling, crying out his name in the prettiest of whimpers. “Your pussy is so fucking tight. Squeezing my cock so well.” 
Took you only an instant to realize that you were absolutely addicted to the feeling of his cock inside you, the heavenly push of his hardness in and out of you as he slowly started to set a pace. “Oh my god, I’m—” a pitiful hiccup interrupted you, turning your voice into a sharp cry. “That’s so good, Jungkook.”
Jungkook chuckled behind you, his thrusts starting to pick up speed. Your eyes closed in endless bliss, every part of your brain focused on the sensation of his fat length stretching you up. “Told you I’d be, not my fault you didn’t believe me,” he said, but you could tell that his confidence had started to wear itself thin — he, too, seemed to be much more focused on the way that your bodies met. “Do you touch yourself, princess?”
You almost didn’t know how to answer him, a deep heat rushing up to your cheeks. “W-What?”
“When you’re alone, baby,” he practically hissed. You were bouncing on the table then, your body jerking up and down as he fully pistoned his cock inside your heat. “Do you play with your little pussy?”
“Y-yes,” you stammered, embarrassed. “S-Sometimes.” 
“Show me how you do it,” he requested in-between huffs, lust dripping from every syllable. Jungkook spoke to you like a siren, effortlessly inducting you to comply with everything he wanted. “Come on. Don’t be shy, I wanna see you play with yourself for me.” 
You didn’t even know if what you were feeling was shyness, but there was a veil of hesitation that covered your actions. As your hands moved downwards, one of them clenching around the fabric of your dress and pulling it up while the other trailed over your mound, you felt strangely vulnerable, exposed. At the same time, you wanted to do what he asked you to, wanted him to wash you over with compliments until your mind was going blank. 
So you closed your eyes and focused on the sensation of two of your fingers coating themselves in your wetness, then their pressure on your clit. You whined at the feeling, pleasure exploding in your veins as you started to rub yourself, tracing small circles on your sensitive spot. There was no way you could ever reach that sensation again, the sweet motions of your fingers combining perfectly with the thrusts of his hard, fat cock inside you. You were doomed. 
“That’s it… just like that, baby,” Jungkook whispered, obsessed with the sensation of your walls fluttering around him. You had gotten so tight that he thought he would see heaven at any second now. “Feels good?” 
“Y-Yeah, so good...” you struggled to get out, “feels amazing, Jungkook.” 
“So perfect for me,” his praise shot straight up to your core, making you mewl under him. God, the way that you were tightening around him was going to drive him insane. “You feel so fucking good, I can’t stop fucking you.” 
Jungkook took one of his hands to your neck, using it to guide your body upwards until you had your back pressed against his chest; his hot lips assaulting your neck. The new position made it so much easier for his cock to drill inside you, reaching even deeper and hitting sweet spots you didn’t even know you had. It wasn’t long before you were moaning out, eyes fluttering shut as the pleasure overtook you. 
“Just take a look at that, baby,” his voice broke you out of your hypnotized state.  “Look at you. Such a good slut, just taking everything I’m giving you, touching yourself for my cock… fuck. Could watch you like this forever.” 
You had to take a moment to understand what he was talking about, and then you saw it: the window. It stood silently across the room from you, half open, and the glass combined with the darkness of the night gave a perfect reflection of the two of you. You could see yourself, the mess you had become, as Jungkook pounded in and out of you and your fingers worked on your clit; the darkness of his hungry gaze as he followed the motions of your body against his. 
Even if you cried out at the sight, your body freezed up a little at the thought of someone walking by and seeing that private spectacle. The possibility itself was minimal — the window gave way to the side of the land, where a big, thick fence separated it from the nearby houses; most of the ground covered by large trees and bushes — but it wasn’t zero. You couldn’t even begin to imagine the humiliation that would come from being seen like that. 
He, of course, noticed your change of demeanor right away, and you could see in the faint reflection that he had smirked at that realization. “What is it? Are you worried someone is going to walk by?” Jungkook almost groaned against your ear. His cock continued to pump ferociously in and out of you, and you couldn’t even understand your own thoughts for a moment. “That someone is gonna see you get fucked like a good slut?” 
“It’s not—” a moan cut your sentence short. Not like you knew where you were heading, anyways. 
“No one is gonna see you like this, know why?” Jungkook was grunting, his fingers tightening around your throat. You cried out at the feeling, your cunt clenching around him in a way that got him fucking you even harder. “Cause this is all for me. Just for me.” 
Then he was pushing you back on the table, your chest crashing against the wooden surface and his hands yanking you by the waist. Jungkook was fucking you so hard that your worries left you as soon as they arrived, your mind a turmoil of desires and broken exclamations that didn’t give space to anything else but him. 
“You look fucking gorgeous like this, stuffed with cock,” he marveled at the sight. There was a known wave of pleasure hovering over you, ready to crash at any given moment, and you stopped rubbing yourself just so you could prolong its arrival. “Wanna see you cum for me, make a mess for me, baby.” 
The words left you in a confusing, broken order, “Jungkook, I can’t… too much… can’t...” 
“Shhh, you can,” he was slowly easing you into your orgasm, his cock drilling in and out of your pussy. Jungkook fucked like a machine, fast and precise, and you didn’t think you’d be able to forget that anytime soon. “You told me you could take it, so now you’re gonna take it. Don’t you wanna be good for me?” 
“I- I want to… I’m so close,” you cried out, pressing your forehead against the table. You didn’t know how it hadn’t broken yet, with the way that Jungkook was fucking you so mercilessly hard. “I’m so, so close.”
“Cream my cock, baby, come on,” he urged you on, his member throbbing inside you at the thought. Your legs were so weak that you knew you’d fall facedown on the floor if he wasn’t supporting your weight with his strong arms. “Be a good girl and cream my cock for me.” 
And that was it. That was all that you needed to push yourself over the edge, submerging you in ecstasy and making you squeeze him so deliciously. “J-Jungkook!” You moaned out his name again and again, unsure of how loud you were being, but also not caring as much as you should. Jungkook realized he loved hearing you call his name more than anything else. “Fuck! Oh my god!”
“That’s it, baby,” he moaned back, his thrusts a sloppy, uncoordinated mess. He was hypnotized by the view of your cunt hugging him, your wetness dripping down your thighs as you rode out the last seconds of your orgasm. “Pussy’s so fucking tight, so fucking perfect— gonna cum too.” 
You gasped out at the sensitivity that was starting to spread, every movement shaky as you tried to push yourself against him. “Yes, please.” You looked over your shoulder, meeting his hooded gaze. Jungkook looked like a god, his dark hair sweaty and messy and his lip trapped between his teeth. That image would plague you forever. “Cum inside me, please.” 
He groaned loudly, eyes closing for a second. “Fuck, that’s so fucking hot,” he hissed, chest heaving with anticipation. You knew he was close, everything pointed to that, and all that you wanted was to see him reach his high, using your body like it was just a doll for him to fuck. “Didn’t know you’d want to be filled up with cum, princess.” 
“I’m full of surprises.” You smiled — a pretty, fucked-out smile that got Jungkook grunting like a madman. “I want your cum inside me, Jungkook, please.” 
“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, don’t worry— Shit.” The sounds he was making were heavily: those breathy, high-pitched moans that echoed all around you; broken by deep grunts that had your thighs shaking. Jungkook fucked himself in you like he was meant for it, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he finally found his orgasm. “Fuck! That’s it, fuck—”
Jungkook called out your name and mixed it with praises and curses when he came, spilling himself inside your pussy. You sighed at the feeling, taking in the blissful sensation of having his hot cum spilling out of you, dripping down your legs as he continued to thrust inside you, milking out his orgasm. 
At last, he started to wince from sensitivity. His body collided against your back, his heavy breathing fanning your neck as he tried to collect himself. “Fuck, baby,” he mumbled, “you’re amazing.” 
“You’re not so terrible yourself.” You could not help the smile that appeared on your lips, nor the way that you melted against the surface of the table, drowning in his heat. 
Still, you couldn’t stay there for much longer: it was already a miracle that no one heard the chaos going on in that room, and you weren’t trying to push your luck for the night. Especially since you had a pile of homework (and possibly — now cold — takeout) waiting for you at home. 
You raised your body, leaning against your elbows. “I have to leave,” you told him, taking one of your hands to lay on top of his tattooed one, trying to ease his grip from your waist. “Now if you could just…” 
“Shhh, shhh,” Jungkook hushed, unrelenting. He was much stronger than you, and your muscles were too weak for you to try and do much, so you eventually gave up. “Stop moving. Let me feel you around me for just a bit more.” 
You frowned. “Why?”
“I like it,” he said simply. His breath was a faint caress against the skin of your neck, and you didn’t have much fight left in you. “We all have our tastes.” 
You rolled your eyes. “You’re so weird.”
“Don’t kinkshame.” Jungkook pouted, then pressed a kiss against your shoulder. “You just begged me to fuck you in a church, remember?” 
“Yeah, I guess I don’t have much place to judge.” You laughed dryly, then looked over your shoulder. “Why is your cock still hard? How long is this gonna take?” 
Jungkook groaned, clearly annoyed. “Shut up and enjoy the moment.” 
The so-called moment lasted about two more minutes (which was kind of impressive, you thought) before Jungkook softened and slipped out of you. You hated to admit but you kind of liked the feeling of having him still inside you, completing you as his lips danced around your neck; fingers tenderly playing with your hair. You never thought Jungkook would be so gentle after fucking you like that, but you guessed that you weren’t the only one that was full of surprises. 
Jungkook, apparently, also liked to admire his work. After he had slipped out of you, he made you sit back on the table just so he could stare at his own cum dripping out of you, a glimmer of satisfaction in his dark gaze. He had pushed his white release back inside you and smirked up at you, asking, ever so kindly, for you to go home like that, filled with his cum. 
You, of course, promptly accepted it. 
“By the way,” he called when you two had already stepped out of the church, enveloped by the coldness of the night. There was only one solitary light pole illuminating his features, making him look like one of the saints in the chapel — nothing but fake advertisement, in your opinion. “Wanna know how much I got in that immunology test?”
“How much?” You asked. 
“Eighty two.” Jungkook smiled brightly then, and you found yourself joining him. “Never saw a grade so high in my life. And that counts all the times I’ve cheated too.” 
“Seems like the tutoring sessions are paying off.” You crossed your arms before your chest, the hem of your dress swirling around your knees. The night was weirdly peaceful after everything that had taken place. 
“They are.” He nodded. “I’m looking forward to the next one. Helps that my tutor is kind of a hottie too.”
You scoffed. “So I’ve heard.”  
“And, by the way?” 
“Yeah?”
“You would look better without it.” He pointed at your dress, a sly smile already sprouting on his lips. “Hope to see it next time.”
“Good night, Jungkook.” You rolled your eyes, already turning around — yeah, like there would ever be a next time. 
BAD INFLUENCE COLLECTION
TAGLIST: 
@taehyungieskith​ @fan-ati--c​ @btstrasht​ @crazy4myself​ @sashimi-mochi @ft-multi @kooafraid @dianaaviny @ggukkieland @cryinginmypromdress @kissestothesky
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be-gay-do-heists · 3 years
Text
hello yall :) the holy month of elul started last night, which is typically a time for contemplation, so since it is impossible for me to stop thinking about leverage, i decided to write an essay. hope anyone interested in reading it enjoys, and that it makes at least a little sense!! spoilers for leverage redemption
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Leverage, Judaism, and “Doing the Work”: An Essay for Elul
When it comes to Elul and the approaching High Holidays, Leverage might seem like an odd topic to meditate on.
The TNT crime drama that ran from 2008-2012, and which released a new season this summer following its renewal, centers on a group of found-family thieves who help the victims of corporations and oligarchs (sometimes based on real-world examples), using wacky heists and cons to bring down the rich and powerful. In one episode, the team’s clients want to reclaim their father’s prized Glimt piece that had been stolen in the Shoah and never returned, but aside from this and the throwaway lines and jokes standard for most mainstream television, there’s not a ton textually Jewish about Leverage. However, despite this, I have found that the show has strong resonance among Jewish fans, and lots of potential for analysis along Jewish themes. This tends to focus on one character in particular: the group’s brilliant, pop culture-savvy, and personable hacker, Alec Hardison, played by the phenomenally talented Aldis Hodge.
I can’t remember when or where I first encountered a reading of Hardison as Jewish, but not only is this a somewhat popular interpretation, it doesn’t feel like that much of a leap. In the show itself, Hardison has a couple of the aforementioned throwaway lines that potentially point to him being Jewish, even if they’re only in service of that moment’s grift. It’s hard to point to what exactly makes reading Hardison as Jewish feel so natural. My first guess is the easy way Hardison fits into the traditional paradigms of Jewish masculinity explored by scholars such as Daniel Boyarin (2). Most of the time, the hacker is not portrayed as athletic or physical; he is usually the foil to the team’s more physically-adept characters like fighter Eliot, or thief Parker. Indeed, Hardison’s strength is mental, expressed not only through his computer wizardry but his passions for science, technology, music, popular media, as well as his studious research into whatever scenario the group might come up against. In spite of his self-identification as a “geek,” Hardison is nevertheless confident, emotionally sensitive, and secure in his masculinity. I would argue he is representative of the traditional Jewish masculine ideal, originating in the rabbinic period and solidified in medieval Europe, of the dedicated and thoughtful scholar (3). Another reason for popular readings of Hardison as Jewish may be the desire for more representation of Jews of color. Although mainstream American Jewish institutions are beginning to recognize the incredible diversity of Jews in the United States (4), and popular figures such as Tiffany Haddish are amplifying the experiences of non-white Jews, it is still difficult to find Jews of color represented in popular media. For those eager to see this kind of representation, then, interpreting Hardison, a black man who places himself tangential to Jewishness, in this way is a tempting avenue.
Regardless, all of the above remains fan interpretation, and there was little in the text of the show that seriously tied Judaism into Hardison’s identity. At least, until we got this beautiful speech from Hardison in the very first episode of the renewed show, directed at the character of Harry Wilson, a former corporate lawyer looking to atone for the injustice he was partner to throughout his career:
“In the Jewish faith, repentance, redemption, is a process. You can’t make restitution and then promise to change. You have to change first. Do the work, Harry. Then and only then can you begin to ask for forgiveness. [...] So this… this isn’t the win. It’s the start, Harry.”
I was floored to hear this speech, and thrilled that it explained the reboot’s title, Leverage: Redemption. Although not mentioned by its Hebrew name, teshuvah forms the whole basis for the new season. Teshuvah is the concept of repentance or atonement for the sins one has committed. Stemming from the root shuv/shuva, it carries the literal sense of “return.” In a spiritual context, this usually means a return to G-d, of finding one’s way back to holiness and by extension good favor in the eyes of the Divine. But equally important is restoring one’s relationships with fellow humans by repairing any hurt one has caused over the past year. This is of special significance in the holy month of Elul, leading into Rosh haShanah, the Yamim Noraim, and Yom Kippur, but one can undertake a journey of redemption at any point in time. That teshuvah is a journey is a vital message for Harry to hear; one job, one reparative act isn’t enough to overturn years of being on the wrong side of justice, to his chagrin. As the season progresses, we get to watch his path of teshuvah unfold, with all its frustrations and consequences. Harry grows into his role as a fixer, not only someone who can find jobs and marks for the team, but fixes what he has broken or harmed.
So why was Hardison the one to make this speech?
I do maintain that it does provide a stronger textual basis for reading Hardison as Jewish by implication (though the brief on-screen explanation for why he knows about teshuvah, that his foster-parent Nana raised a multi-faith household, is important in its own merit, and meshes well with his character traits of empathy and understanding for diverse experiences). However, beyond this, Hardison isn’t exactly an archetypical model for teshuvah. In the original series, he was the youngest character of the main ensemble, a hacking prodigy in the start of his adult career, with few mistakes or slights against others under his belt. In one flashback we see that his possibly first crime was stealing from the Bank of Iceland to pay off his Nana’s medical bills, and that his other early hacking exploits were in the service of fulfilling personal desires, with only those who could afford to pay the bill as targets. Indeed, in the middle of his speech, Hardison points to Eliot, the character with the most violent and gritty past who views his work with the Leverage team as atonement, for a prime example of ongoing teshuvah. So while no one is perfect and everyone has a reason for doing teshuvah, this question of why Hardison is the one to give this series-defining speech inspired me to look at his character choices and behavior, and see how they resonate with a different but interrelated Jewish principle, that of tikkun olam. 
Tikkun olam is literally translated as “repairing the world,” and can take many different forms, such as protecting the rights of vulnerable people in society, or giving tzedakah (5). In modern times, tikkun olam is often the rallying cry for Jewish social activists, particularly among environmentalists for whom literally restoring the health of the natural world is the key goal. Teshuvah and tikkun olam are intertwined (the former is the latter performed at an interpersonal level) and both hold a sense of fixing or repairing, but tikkun olam really revolves around a person feeling called to address an injustice that they may have not had a personal hand in creating. Hardison’s sense of a universal scale of justice which he has the power to help right on a global level and his newfound drive to do humanitarian work, picked up sometime after the end of the original series, make tikkun olam a central value for his character. This is why we get this nice bit of dialogue from Eliot to Hardison in the second episode of the reboot, when the latter’s outside efforts to organize international aid start distracting him from his work with the team: “Is [humanitarian work] a side gig? In our line of work, you’re one of the best. But in that line of work… you’re the only one, man.” The character who most exemplifies teshuvah reminds Hardison of his amazing ability to effect change for the better on a huge stage, to do some effective tikkun olam. It’s this acknowledgement of where Hardison can do the most good that prompts the character’s absence for the remainder of the episodes released thus far, turning his side gig into his main gig.
With this in mind, it will be interesting to see where Hardison’s arc for this season goes. Separated from the rest of the team, the hacker still has remarkable power to change the world, because it is, after all, the “age of the geek.” However, he is still one person. For all that both teshuvah and tikkun olam are individual responsibilities and require individual decision-making and effort, the latter especially relies on collective work to actually make things happen. Hardison leaving is better than trying to do humanitarian work and Leverage at the same time, but there’s only so long he can be the “only one” in the field before burning out. I’m reminded of one of the most famous (for good reason) maxims in Judaism:
It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you free to neglect it. (6)
Elul is traditionally a time for introspection and heeding the calls to repentance. After a year where it’s never been easier to feel powerless and drained by everything going on around us, I think it’s worth taking the time to examine what kind of work we are capable of in our own lives. Maybe it’s fixing the very recent and tangible hurts we’ve left behind, like Harry. Maybe it’s the little changes for the better that we make every day, motivated by our sense of responsibility, like Eliot. And maybe it’s the grueling challenge of major social change, like Hardison. And if any of this work gets too much, who can we fall back on for support and healing? Determining what needs repair, working on our own scale and where our efforts are most helpful, and thereby contributing to justice in realistic ways means that we can start the new year fresh, having contemplated in holiday fashion how we can be better agents in the world.
Shana tovah u’metukah and ketivah tovah to all (7), and may the work we do in the coming year be for good!
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(1) Disclaimer: everybody’s fandom experiences are different, and this is just what I’ve picked up on in my short time watching and enjoying this show with others.
(2) See, for example, the introduction and first chapter of Boyarin’s book Unheroic Conduct: The Rise of Heterosexuality and the Invention of the Jewish Man (I especially recommend at least this portion if you are interested in queer theory and Judaic studies). There he explores the development of Jewish masculinity in direct opposition to Christian masculine standards.
(3) I might even go so far as to place Hardison well within the Jewish masculine ideal of Edelkayt, gentle and studious nobility (although I would hesitate to call him timid, another trait associated with Edelkayt). Boyarin explains that this scholarly, non-athletic model of man did not carry negative associations in the historical Jewish mindset, but was rather the height of attractiveness (Boyarin, 2, 51).
(4) Jews of color make up 20% of American Jews, according to statistics from Be’chol Lashon, and this number is projected to increase as American demographics continue to change: https://globaljews.org/about/mission/. 
(5) Tzedakah is commonly known as righteous charity. According to traditional authority Maimonides, it should be given anonymously and without embarrassment to the person in need, generous, and designed to help the recipient become self-sufficient.
(6) Rabbi Tarfon, Pirkei Avot, 2:16
(7) “A good and sweet year” and “a good inscription [in the Book of Life]”
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five-rivers · 3 years
Text
@lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks came up with this op!Danny/Marvel AU!
BTW I need help naming this newest proof that I can't keep anything to a short little one-shot.
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Loki was not, and never had been, a good man. For that matter, whether or not he’d ever been a good boy was debatable. His mother would argue that he had, but she would very likely be the only one. Well, except for Thor, perhaps, but that was because he was an idiot who could drown in three inches of nostalgia. Like he didn’t remember every time Loki had humiliated him. Maybe he didn’t, for all that he kept falling for the same trick over and over again.
It made Loki’s late nights studying the arts of illusion, misdirection, and lying seem redundant. Almost. Not everyone was as dense as his big brother.
No. Loki had never been a good man. He had, however, been a free man.
Free to run or hide. Free to explore the nooks and crannies of Asgard, to uncover her secrets in ways few cared to do. Free to walk hidden paths between the Nine Realms and even farther flung territories, where his people did not and had never ruled, to play games, make deals, have adventures, take risks. To be. To exist as his own creature.
He had been free. He had.
But on one of those little secret excursions, he had discovered something that had made even his flippant, slippery heart clench with fear. A ravening plague, spreading across the stars. The death of half of everything on the horizon.
Loki was not a good man. What cause did he have to care for all the sundry others in the universe? There were too many. It was too much to ask.
But Asgard—His home, even though the had long ago realized the blood in his veins originated on very different soil. That was different.
Asgard, he could help. Asgard could survive.
But it had to be strong. It had to have strong allies. None of this barely-held peace, this enemy eternally at their gates. It needed strong leadership. Not his brother’s simplistic view and longing for the glory of war.
Loki was not a good man. But he was one who could get things done.
Before he knew it, he had burned all his bridges behind him. In one case, a literal bridge that was literally broken.
And he fell.
And he fell.
And he fell right into the hands of the one he had feared enough to do this. Broken enough for poison to drip into the cracks. No one knew where he was, no one could know where he was, except, perhaps, Heimdal, and Loki sincerely doubted Heimdal cared. No one was coming for him. No one was looking for him. No rescue was forthcoming.
He was alone.
Asgardians were considered gods for a reason. Their bodies and minds were much more resilient than the average mortal’s. But Thanos’s people had been titans, and there was a reason for that, too.
Thanos enjoyed breaking him.
And Loki turned his lies on himself. A skilled master of games always had one gifted opponent, even alone. Hadn’t he wanted to rule? To command? To see a world, any world, prostrate at his feet? To be given the recognition and praise of which he was so worth?
To pull something, anything, out of the fire?
(If he had spent less time learning how to spin lies and more on how to see the truth, he might not have believed it. A better, wiser, man would have. But Loki was not a good man. And he was very skilled in his craft.)
So, his new master put a weapon in his hands, and he went off to conquer a world.
.
Danny was used to rude awakenings. He was used to those rude awakenings being full body chills and ghosts, not someone knocking on his door.
Blearily, he pulled himself out from under the blankets. Quasi-military government facility or not, the beds were comfortable. Maybe Mom or Dad had gotten themselves locked out of their room? Or Jazz—No, not Jazz, she hadn’t come with them. She was at college, not being flown places by Mom and Dad’s suspiciously generous new consulting job.
At least it wasn’t the GIW.
He stood on tiptoe (curse his perpetually short body) to peer out the peephole. His parents’ buff, one-eyed, and incredibly imposing new boss stood in front of the door, hands on his hips, slightly sweeping back his long dark coat. If Danny listened carefully, he could hear two other people near the door, and… was that an alarm? Yes. Faint, but present, was a warning klaxon.
Okay. Danny would bet his right arm that something had gone horribly wrong with whatever his parents were consulting on. Didn’t explain why the boss was in front of his door.
Unless they’d gotten the rooms mixed up, somehow?
Ugh. Danny wasn’t paid enough to deal with this.
He opened the door. “What-?”
“Phantom,” intoned eyepatch guy with great solemnity.
Danny immediately tried to close the door. The guy stuck his foot in the jamb, and, sure, Danny could have crushed it, but that would be a jerk move. He didn’t think this guy was going for a pirate look, after all.
“We need your help.”
.
“I’m not sure what you think I can help you with,” yelled Danny over the beating of the helicopter blades. He’d remained stubbornly in human form. “My parents are the scientists. This sounds like a science thing. Not a punching-people thing.”
“We spoke to them earlier,” said Fury, “and we have plenty of scientists working on the theories they brought up. You’re the one with practical experience.”
“Practical experience in what?”
“Interdimensional portals,” said the woman, who had yet to introduce herself.
As if this whole thing wasn’t already giving him a bad feeling. “My parents built an interdimensional portal. Again, you should be talking to them. They’re the ones you’re paying.”
“We could pay you, too,” said Fury, “but we assumed you would want to avoid letting your parents know about this, as you’re still a minor and they have control of your bank accounts.”
Danny stared flatly. “This is blackmail.”
“We aren’t threatening you,” pointed out the woman.
“Emotional blackmail,” said Danny, glaring, daring her to challenge him on whether or not he actually knew what blackmail was.
In the meantime, the helicopter landed. Danny unbuckled and hopped out, trailing slightly awkwardly behind Fury and the woman. He didn’t want to stand out, but he suspected that, being the only kid here and being in the general vicinity of Fury, who radiated authority, that was a lost cause.
“This is Agent Coulson. Coulson, this is Phantom.”
Danny’s mouth went dry(er) at how casual the introduction was. His eyes went nervously to all the other people running around the field. With all the noise, it was unlikely anyone had heard, but still…
“Can you not? Secret identity and all? Unless you’ve told everyone herealready, which, rude.”
Fury sighed. “How bad is it?” he asked Coulson.
“We’re not sure,” said Coulson. “That’s the problem. Big fan of your work, by the way,” he added as an aside to Danny. He glanced at the woman. “Agent Hill.”
“Background?” asked Fury as he led the way into the building.
“The first energy surge was four hours ago. Dr. Selvig’s equipment picked it up – He’s the head scientist on this project.”
“Dr. Selvig isn’t authorized to test,” said Fury. “We wanted to run his plans by the Fentons.”
“He wasn’t testing. He wasn’t even in the room. He called it ‘spontaneous advancement.’”
“It turned itself on?”
“What are the energy levels?” asked Fury before Hill’s question could be answered.
“Climbing,” said Coulson.
“Mr. Fenton,” said Fury, “any comments?”
“Look, I don’t even know what this thing that you built looks like or what it’s a door to.” Danny frowned as a thought occurred to him. “You’re not expecting me to fight whatever comes out of it, are you? Because, unless you’ve got a ghost portal down there, I can’t make guarantees.”
“It’s called the Tesseract,” said Coulson. “It’s supposed to be a connection to the other side of space. A source of unlimited energy. At least,” there was a note of humor in his voice despite the evacuation taking place around them, “that’s what the scientists say.”
“A door to space?” asked Danny, firmly shoving down his excitement at the prospect. “Like, a Stargate?” It was no good, he could practically feel himself sparkling. He took a firm grip of his core and reminded himself he might need to fight before the end of the day.
“Well, no,” said Coulson. “It’s this little… cube… thing.” He made a shape with his hands.
“Oh,” said Danny, mind still whirring. “You know, if it’s really a tesseract, it isn’t a cube in just three dimensions, so bigger things could come out of it than you’d think.” He’d seen some weird portals in the Ghost Zone.
“Well, right now, we’re just getting energy.” They entered a large room with an extremely sci-fi setup. It looked like they were planning to shoot some kind of laser across the room onto a platform surrounded by strange-looking panels. There were men with guns scattered around in what was probably a well thought out formation Danny couldn’t see. There was also a dude with a bow sitting up in the rafters. He frowned down at Danny as he noticed Danny noticing him.
“Dr. Selvig!”
“Director!”
“What do we know?”
Danny allowed himself to be distracted by the centerpiece of the room, a piece of machinery built around what was indeed a little cube thing. He tilted his head and approached, trying to get a better view of it around the people in lab coats and protective gear currently swarming it. He caught mention of radiation a grimaced.
It was unlikely to kill him, but, really, everyone here should probably be wearing more PPE. You never knew what was going to come out of an interdimensional portal, after all. Except trouble. Trouble was a pretty safe bet.
It was pretty. Blue. Reminded him a little of a blue raspberry ice pop. Part of him wanted to lick it. Which was stupid. He didn’t want to wind up half what-ever-lived-on-the-other-side on top of his regular ghost nonsense.
“Mr. Fenton?”
Danny jumped and turned, refocusing on the adults, who had multiplied while he’d been daydreaming. The guy with the bow had joined them.
“Mr. Fenton? Like the Doctors Fenton I spoke to earlier?” asked Selvig.
“Yeah, it’s—”
This, of course, was when everything decided to explode. Sort of.
The blue cube shot out a beam of energy that had more than a little in common with the Fenton Bazooka’s portal setting. The beam terminated on the platform, a portal rapidly forming.
Danny slid into a fighting stance, and barely even noticed as blue energy washed over the room, throwing many less-prepared people back.
Something shaped like a man stepped through the portal.
Danny did not break his stance. Still. “An alien,” he whispered, eyes wide. If they were friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space. If they weren’t friendly, maybe they’d answer his questions about space after Danny beat them up.
(Danny did not go ghost. Did not even think about going ghost. There were too many people here, and the space was too open.)
Fury attempted to negotiate. Danny approved. Not everything that came through an interdimensional portal was necessarily evil.
Except this guy apparently was. Go figure. He could also deflect bullets and was very good with throwing knives, which led to Danny having to pull several of the gun guys out of their own line of fire as well as the alien’s line of knife. Who would have thought an alien’s weapon of choice would be throwing knives? The energy-blasting spear was much more in line with his expectations.
The bow guy proved to be more competent than the gun guys. This didn’t really surprise Danny. Bow guy sort of had to be competent. Otherwise, no way would they let him go around with a bow. Like, seriously. A bow.
Even so, bow guy was fighting an alien and—
“You have heart,” said the alien, raising the spear.
Danny pushed bow guy out of the way, and his mind fuzzed out.
(The human part of it, anyway.)
.
Loki didn’t know what a child was doing here, and he didn’t particularly care. The boy would do for a hostage, at least. He had a mission he had to fulfil, or else…
Or else.
“Please don’t,” he said turning with a shadow of his usual lazy affect, vaguely insulted that the human thought he could be sneaker that him, “I still need that.”
The human went on and on, apparently burdened with the delusion that he was on the same level as Loki.
Loki was burdened with other things. A glorious purpose. Glad tidings. Freedom. What could be better than freedom?
“A world free from what?” asked the human.
“From freedom,” said Loki, and wasn’t that what he believed, now? Wasn’t that what he’d been shown? “Freedom is life’s great lie.” He would know. He was an excellent liar. “Once you accept that, in your heart—” He batted away an arrow and tsked. “Shield me, boy,” he demanded. Had Thanos misrepresented the scepter’s powers? Or was the boy merely—
A dome of green surrounded him and the boy, thrumming with magic the likes of which he had only seen once, in a tome thrice forbidden.
“Oh,” said Loki, almost purring. “You are interesting. What are you?”
“Half human, half ghost,” replied the boy, tersely.
Loki had never heard of such a creature. No matter. He’d be sure to make good use of him.
“Grab the scientist,” he said, nodding at the balding man who had been with his brother when he’d fought the Destroyer in the desert.
Loki wanted the archer. He seemed interesting. Useful.
.
Fenton was under thrall. Phantom knew what that felt like. A hundred feet under red water, trying not to drown, whispers everywhere. Pulling. Pushing. Prodding.
This was different, but the principle was the same.
Neither half of him could truly ‘fight’ the other. Fenton and Phantom were a single entity. Not two in lockstep. Even so.
Fenton grabbed onto Dr. Selvig, as ordered. Phantom made sure that was all they did.
“What are you doing, boy?” snapped Loki. “Follow me! Bring the scientist.”
And so, they followed.
.
Loki breathed. Acquiring Barton had been the right choice. The boy was powerful, but, perhaps because of his unique biology, did not have Barton’s presence of mind, and couldn’t have led him to such wonderful allies.
Allies.
These weren’t truly his allies. Nor were they subjects. They were…
Loki forced himself to breathe. He just had to follow the mission. Follow the mission, let Thanos’s army through. He’d been promised this world. He would have this world.
And then he could be… His mind stuttered over the next word, and he shook his head, trying to drive out the painful buzz of Thanos’s herald and mouthpiece trying to contact him.
He looked up at the drones bustling around, all according to his will. Except the boy, who stared at him, somehow managing to be both utterly blank and challenging at the same time.
He was alone, here.
He was alone.
But what did it matter? Bad men always wound up alone, and Loki… Loki could never be a good man.
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mystery-star · 3 years
Text
Waiting for you - Spock
Pairing: Spock x reader (gender neutral)
Warnings: mentions of injury and death
Words: 1838
Star Trek universe: AOS
A/N: Just a lil thing I wrote because I haven’t written (at least for Spocko) in ages. And didn’t feel like writing on a series.
-
“She’s here. She’s here” you heard someone shouting beside you and looked around and finally you could see the Enterprise approaching in one of many tunnels above you. You smiled and stepped forward a little and waited for the crew to dismount. When you saw the first of them, your smile got broader and you got onto your tiptoes to look out for your husband. Not many people of the Enterprise had someone waiting for them and those who did seemed overjoyed. It made you look down for moment because you had a feeling that Spock wouldn’t greet you like others greeted their loved ones. Finally, you could see him and slightly raised your hand, hoping he’d see you. When he did, he came straight towards you, stopping half a meter in front of you
“(Y/N)” he said “What brings you to Yorktown?”
“I’ll give you three guesses” you replied and just threw yourself around his neck “I’ve missed you, Spock” you breathed against his skin and he hugged you back slightly.
“Am I therefore right to conclude that you came here in order to see me during my shore leave?”
“Right” you let go of him but only that you could kiss him. He cupped your face and kissed you back. At some point his hand found yours, slowly stroking his first two fingers against yours. But then he pulled away from you all of a sudden, just holding your hand. You turned around and saw two older Vulcans behind you.
“Commander, might we have a word? Alone?” you wanted to ask why you couldn’t come when Spock threw a glance at you and squeezed your hand
“Do you mind?”
“Just be quick” you pecked his cheek “I’ll be waiting for you, okay?” you handed him a keycard of the hotel where you had booked a room for you both. He gave a nod, then let go of your hand and followed the two men. With a sigh you looked after him and returned to the hotel, knowing he would be clever enough to find it when he was done.
But he only came when it was dark and you were already in bed, reading a magazine on your PADD.
“Have you been waiting with sleeping until I return?”
“Well, you got some days of shore leave, then I won’t see you for another two years. I want to use every minute with you that I can” he gave a nod and sat down on the bed, placing a device on the nightstand. “What did they want?”
“I will tell you in the morning”
“Alright” you put the PADD aside and stretched yourself a little before sitting up, crawling closer to him and wrapping your arms around him again, kissing him. “We now have better things to do, don’t you think?” he kissed you back and placed one of his hands in the small of your back, pulling you closer while he ran his other hand over the side of your face. After the kiss he leaned his forehead to yours and you bumped his nose with yours. “Did you have fun out there on the mission?”
“I have written and called you three times per week, as we have agreed on, and informed you about what you call ‘adventures’ and have also answered each question concerning them I was allowed to answer”
“Well yes but your last message was two days ago. I need a recap of the past two days. Or retell me your favorite mission. Doing it face-to-face is much better” you pecked his lips. He gave a nod, pulled you into his lap and started telling you how the Captain had attempted to make peace between two species that didn’t work out as planned. Then he went on to their arrival to Yorktown and suddenly his communicator beeped “Tell me that’s your private comm”
“It is not” he leaned forward to get it and you just wanted to stop him but let it happen with a sigh. Placing you back on the bed, he gave your hand a squeeze, took the comm, opened it and left the room. With a sigh you fell back on the bed, glancing to the PADD and considering if you should continue reading but then looked at the ceiling, repeating everything you had planned to do with Spock in the following days in your mind. Soon Spock returned and you sat up with a smile but his words ruined it “I must go”
“Go? Go where? Aren’t you on shore leave?”
“I am. However, there is a matter that requires my assistance”
“What is it?”
“I cannot tell you much but I must leave Yorktown”
“You’re shitting me”
“I do not joke”
“But… but… will you at least get that time off later on? How long will you be gone?”
“I suppose it should not take longer than 36 hours”
“Oh well…. Then you owe me yet another debriefing upon your return” he gave a nod, came closer to put his comm on his nightstand and pecking your forehead.
“Please make yourself a pleasant day tomorrow”
“Okay. And then I’ll be waiting here for you… again”
-
But Spock didn’t come home the evening or morning after he had left, so you decided to make yourself another nice day exploring another area of Yorktown. In the late afternoon, you suddenly heard how the station went on alert and after looking around you saw that a swarm of tiny ships tried attacking Yorktown. Around you everyone was in panic, screaming, rallying kids and running away while you stood there frozen, staring at the many little ships on the other side of Yorktown.
“We have to leave. Come. Now” someone next to you shouted, pulling on your arm
“Can we go somewhere safe? Like a… bunker?”
“A bunker on a Starbase?” the man started laughing slightly and shook his head.
“Or can we do something? Something to help? Is there a defense station or militia? Or help evacuate people?”
“That’s Starfleet’s business” as if on cue, there was an announcement, informing the public that there was an attack and that you should not panic. You let out a snort and watched how the people around you seemed to panic even more. You looked around and finally saw a security, officer, going over to him.
“Excuse me, Sir?”
“Don’t worry, we’ll all be safe, just stay calm and…”
“No, I wanted to ask if I can help something.”
“Help?”
“Yeah. Weapons, evacuate people or something” he looked at you, considered it a while then said he’d have to check it out. But before he could return, they managed to somehow blow up all the small ships. Somehow you couldn’t believe that this was everything and sure enough, there was another announcement informing the public that a great part of the ship had been destroyed but that three of them had gotten into Yorktown but that they still had the situation under control and would do everything to stop them. For some reason, you found that three ships hand entered Yorktown almost worse than the initial attack. Because you knew there probably wasn’t much you could do unless the ships came to that part of Yorktown, you sat down in a café, ordered a drink and watched the news on the big screen that gave a permanent update on the situation at the other end of Yorktown. Not even 15 minutes later, you heard that everyone was out of danger and the intruders had been rendered harmless. After a sigh, you finished your drink and then returned to the scene of the action, maybe there now was something you could help, like tidying up damage or helping the wounded. You stayed there and helped until it was dark and the volunteers were sent home, so you returned to the hotel. But you didn’t get far and the receptionist called you over.
“You are (Y/N) (Y/L/N), right?”
“That’s me, yeah”
“I have message for you, from a doctor Leonard McCoy”
“I know him. He’s the doctor on the Enterprise. What is this message about?”
“He lets you know, that your husband… Commander Spock will spend the night in Yorktown hospital”
“Ho-hospital? They’re back? What does he have? Is it bad? Can I visit him? When did they get back?”
“He only told me that so you know where your husband is and in case you wish to see him. I don’t know anything else” you nodded and with a thank-you you ran out of the hotel, to the hospital, where you had brought a few people earlier today. You went to a visitor station to register your visit and once you knew where your husband was and that he currently could be visited, you rushed to the elevator and then to his room. When you saw Spock lying in bed awake, you let out a deep breath and moved closer.
“Spock” you breathed, not sure what to say and having a hundred questions at the tip of your tongue. "How are you?” was the first you asked
“I am well, (Y/N). The doctors insisted I stayed the night to ensure that my condition does not become worse” you nodded and came closer, taking his hand, pressing a kiss to it as you sat down on the edge of the bed. To your delight, he squeezed your hand.
“What happened? To you, I mean?” he explained how on the mission his side was impaled by a piece of metal and that McCoy didn’t have the correct equipment to properly treat him. “At least you’re safe” you ran your free hand through his hair. “When did you even get back?”
“4.2 hours ago”
“That was… that was when the attack happened” he agreed and said it was them who played a great role in stopping them. “Oh so that big ship that destroyed the central plaza was you, the Franklin?”
“Indeed”
“And what about the Enterprise?”
“She has been destroyed”
“Oh no. What about the crew? Are they safe?”
“We have not yet been able to ascertain who has survived the attack on the Enterprise and who lost their life, however, I am certain that at least 350 people have survived”
“Out of 428 that’s still a lot that could have died”
“Besides, I also know of at least 16 casualties from the crew” you gave a nod
“And what now? I mean is your mission over? The Enterprise is gone”
“We do not know yet but it is certain that we will remain her for longer than the originally scheduled 12 days of shore leave”
“Well, then we got more time to do something as long as we’re here. And I get to see you longer. Ha that visit was worth it” you leant down to kiss his forehead. “Now we just gotta make sure you’ll be on your feet as soon as possible because I have lot planned for the next days”
-
Taglist: @softsapphicideals
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Note
Serious question: do you think Allura would be interested in parenthood?
My (unwanted) take: No. But it’s tradition and they kinda enforce it.
Hi, anon! Hmm, that’s a good question. My opinion is very flexible on this one. Part 1 of my own vague perspective is that in the canon, Princess Allura is shown as capable of being motherly or nurturing? I’m thinking about season 2, episode 1 specifically where she is faced with a de-aged Coran:
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(Photo description: A montage of images from season 2, episode 1. Princess Allura is holding a de-aged, baby Coran who is crying. She coos, “I know, I know.” Then she baby-talks Coran: “Who wants to check the Rift Exit Positioning Monitor to see where this wormhole is taking us? You do, that’s who.”)
Some antis in VLD fandom have previously suggested that Princess Allura is utterly incapable of empathy or caring for children, and that seems inaccurate to me based on canon details. Here in season 2, Allura is shown as very much capable of adapting to help comfort a scared and crying baby (who is oddly Coran, but lol, it's not the weirdest thing this show has done.)
And given what we’ve seen of the Altean monarchy and Allura’s status as the sole heir to the throne, I’d be a little surprised if “continuing the line” was not an assumed expectation for Allura prior to the war. It’s possible she might have, at one time, seen parenthood as just another required part of one day being Altea’s queen.
But…we really don’t have any canon details about this or about how she might have viewed that expectation if it were true. I think by the time of episode 1, potentially continuing the royal line doesn’t even rank on her list of “major things I have to fix right now or the whole universe will blow up.”
Which gets into another interesting piece about canon, and part 2 of my vague perspective: Being a parent is never canonically referenced as one of Allura's core goals/interests.
I know that from the “Allura’s Story” book (by Cala Spinner) that was published, Allura’s one true dream growing up was to be a paladin of Voltron:
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(Photo description: A young Allura standing in a juniberry field, staring up at Voltron. The text reads, “As a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a Paladin of Voltron.”)
So it seems like child!Allura had a high expectation for adventure and protecting people as her life’s work, rather than a stereotypical view of “princesses get married and have babies, etc.” For that reason, I would assume Allura grew up trying to hone her ability to take her father’s place. This would likely help to support odd details like her authority and power to fly the Castle of Lions, her knowledge of Altean weaponry, and also her very strong understanding of what Voltron needs to function well.
So her repeated goals/interests in canon align to being a paladin, defeating Zarkon’s regime, and protecting the universe. She lives and breathes those goals until the very end.
I think these canon details support the concept that Allura could very well not be interested in parenthood, or at least not see it as a critical missing piece of her identity or life goals, even though she can care about babies and express nurturing behaviors.
That said, we never see Allura consider who she might be or what she might do once peace is achieved, and the show separates her from having a life before this question comes up for her personally to explore. So honestly, I think the doors are open for a variety of interpretations in fanon...
I could pretty easily see an AU where Allura could be surrounded by people she cares about, and be happy as a paladin protecting the universe from various disasters, and not have some innate need to reproduce herself within that structure. (There's a very clear need for some kind of powerful protector in the end--Lotor mentioned that Honerva's work over the rift could never be undone. So Allura could end up remaining very busy as an active paladin of Voltron.)
I could also just as easily see where maybe Allura, in a universe where she lived to see peace, might feel an obligation to continue the Altean royal line as a duty and could find herself working to straddle that duty and be a paladin or other important role in society.
And then I can also see where a battle-weary Allura who misses her family could find joy in either starting a family of her own, or mentoring/fostering some young people who maybe have also lost their homes in the war. Maybe she could still be a part-time paladin, or maybe she'd give it up because her interests transform---maybe she earns a more powerful title, or maybe she finds something more meaningful about teaching Altean alchemy as the sole heir of it, idk. (I personally feel like Allura's abilities outgrew just being a paladin, but I recognize her life force is still tied to Voltron...)
So like...I guess in fanon, I'm personally pretty flexible? I've read different fanfics representing different interpretations of what Allura's interests in parenthood could be and how that could jive with her career interests. And tbh, I think it's really interesting to consider all the different possibilities.
Some options might feel more meaningful or realistic to certain fans. In fanon, there's always the dialogue between character analyses/canon purism vs. personal irl preferences or experiences that get projected onto/explored in fiction.
So...wherever you land on this spectrum of interpreting Allura's interest in parenthood, I think you're valid! In the canon we received, she really didn't have baby fever. So the thought that maybe she wouldn't be interested seems just as valid to me as the thought that maybe parenthood of some kind would be of interest in peace-time.
To me, Allura's character seems capable of experiencing a fulfilling and meaningful life with or without children. I just want her to be happy ;A;
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riathedreamer · 3 years
Text
Zero is Null
A discussion of Zero’s love-hate-relationship with RvB and struggling independence; including a hotdog too big for the bun, tragic backstories, a single bow-chicka-bow-wow, and a cookie at the very end.
Welcome to what will be a lot of text. Basically, it will explore why Zero fails as an RvB (with emphasis on RvB) season. I will not be the first one to bring forth some of the points, and I promise to be fair and civil and fun. This isn’t supposed to be a piece of hate – in fact, I’m writing this because I love Red vs. Blue.
Okay, first of all, to increase your fun – take a guess on just how much of Zero is spent on fight scenes. You see, I’ve calculated the exact amount, and I will reveal it later, but for now, take a guess and remember the number. Maybe you are the winner!
Alright, time to share my thoughts. Wait! Since I suffer from anxiety and have this one annoying voice pretending to be all those critical statements my opinion could be met with, let’s give it an actual voice and address the points throughout this review.
“Why would I care about your opinion, Ria?” – I don’t know, you’re the one who clicked Read More.
“Your opinion doesn’t matter!” – Of course, it doesn’t! Geez. Do you think your opinion matters, though? Listen, we’re on Tumblr, the actual equivalent of screaming into the void. And it’s fun, too!
“If you don’t like it, don’t watch!” - *activates Uno Reverse Card* “You can’t talk about something you haven’t watched!”
“You’re just a Hater” – Actually, this is a point I’ll come back to. Like a cliffhanger. Also, at the end of this, there’ll be a cookie. But this will also include me talking about the stuff I like, because, surprise, Zero is not without talent!
“You just don’t like it because the Reds and Blues aren’t in it!” – Actually, that’s a good point, so instead, this review will start with a sole focus on Zero and discuss the problem that lies within that story. Then we can address why the lack of OG cast is understandable and problematic and weird.
But first! Backstory.
When the first 5 second teaser dropped back in spring (you know, when we were young and innocent and the world didn’t feel like an apocalyptic movie yet), I held onto that one image of what I thought (hoped) to be Grif and Simmons in the sunset, hopefully addressing Grif’s hateglue arc, but boy was I wrong because a) that’s not Simmons, that’s Sarge, and b) the image was from a PSA since the Reds are not in Zero.
Actual face-reveal of me below:
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Admittedly, when I heard that the Reds and Blues were not going to be the main characters (or even show up), it felt like a gut punch. However, I actually found myself getting excited due to the creators’ hype. I want to praise them for this. It’s been a while since an RvB season was talked so much ABOUT before its release; it had advertisements, it had creators and voice-actors talking about it. Please. More of that in the future. Their passion rubbed off on me, and that deserves recognition. So it pains me that this was clearly a passion-project, and then when I gave it a try, I didn’t want to touch it again for weeks.
Here’s the thing. I cannot whole-heartedly say that Zero is bad. It’s not gonna melt your eyes. It’s not even so-bad-it’s-good. For me, it’s meh. It’s a Saturday-morning-cartoon aimed for a younger audience with a rushed plot and clichéd characters. The problem is that it calls itself RvB, and with that title comes something to live up to – but more importantly, something to continue.
My main issue is that Zero forces its story into existence by ignoring established content rather than adjusting to it. Let’s call this for the hotdog-too-big-for-the-bun syndrome solely for the sake of the bow-chicka-bow-wow that’s coming now. Bow-chicka-bow-wow. Many of the separate issues I will dive into all add to this hotdog-issue, so I will scream “Hotdog!” whenever this is the case so we can all keep track of my argument.
You can continue the story of Red vs. Blue without the Reds and Blues. While that would personally crush my heart, it can be done. There’s a story of Red vs. Blue that can be continued. The world can be expanded, the previous actions of the Reds and Blues can be explored from another angle.
So.
How does Zero do this? It doesn’t.
I just want to make it clear that new elements can definitely be added when it comes to worldbuilding. That’s literally the point of sequels. But Zero’s settings are presented with so little grace and with no connection to previously established worldbuilding. We get Alliance of Defense and GLASS thrown in our face as very big important organizations – yet we’ve never heard of them before. A big central plot point of RvB is the UNSC and Project Freelancers, and those were introduced naturally with the plot. We already have big established intergalactic organizations. What is AOD’s connection with those? We aren’t told. We are just told they exist and expected to accept it, no questions asked. If this was a whole new world and story – fine. But when you need to build on an already established worldbuilding, you need more grace than this. Chorus was a whole new setting, but it was explained, and it was connected to the previous plot. Same with Iris. Same with Desert Gulch. In Zero, it feels lazy. It feels forced. These organizations are just there because the story is built around them (HOTDOG).
This vagueness when it comes to wordbuilding is also reflected in the settings - we have a desert, a training base, a lab, temples, Tucker’s workplace, and we do not know if all those are set place on the same planet. If that is the case, what is this planet’s relationship with Chorus? Is it Earth? And most importantly, what is the deal with the temples? Why are they connected to Tucker’s sword if it isn’t the same planet. Are they made by the same aliens? Are people okay with this? Why haven’t these temples been explored before? Chorus makes sure to establish this, while Zero doesn’t, adding to a growing amount of confusion.
Okay, so no connection with previous worldbuilding. What about characters? I mean, we got Wash and Carolina and Tucker! So we have RvB characters, it gotta be RvB! Technically – yeah. But it feels dirty. These three characters are not here to be characters. They are here to be props to the new cast. They are not given any development. Their presence isn’t even that important, and if this was a whole new show, they could easily have been replaced with an unknown face. Worst of all, they feel miswritten.
Carolina and Wash are working at a new military organization? Leaving the Reds and Blues behind? To help people? First of all, fucking bad idea, Carolina, the last time you left the Reds and Blues alone, they changed the timeline. But most importantly – Carolina and Wash just joined this new super elite military organization? After being mistreated and manipulated by such an organization in the past?
Carolina is there to introduce the characters. That’s it. We are force-fed their personality by having her literally read out loud their personality. There is no gentle introduction to the new cast. We are not allowed to get to know them naturally. Why show when you can tell, huh? That’s Carolina’s role. That’s why she is there. To introduce the cast and explain their story. That’s it. (HOTDOG).
How about Wash? He is there to get beat up and be a damsel in distress so that the new cast has a reason to explore the plot. Oh, and that brain damage that was the consequence of previous seasons – gone now. The guy who literally has trauma from having an AI explode inside his head is fine with having a computer inserted into it instead. Because that’s needed. To explore his brain damage wouldn’t work now when his role is to be a prop to lure the new cast for one episode and then be put onto the bench for the rest of the runtime (HOTDOG).
And Tucker – he is there to die for a second and have his sword taken from him. That’s literally it. And for the few moments he is there, he feels like old super flirty Tucker, which erases the character development he went through in previous seasons. Okay, so Tucker dies, and then not dies, and then he is put on the bench with Wash where they can sit and talk or whatever (‘cause holy shit, the new cast is not allowed to that), because he isn’t important. The sword is. Tucker is just a prop, even more than his sword is (HOTDOG).
Damn. Wash gets beat up. Tucker gets beat up. Dies. Gets his sword taken away. Almost seems like a Red’s wet dream. Sorry not sorry, Blues, you were done dirty.
So there are miswritten old characters. Even worse is the retconning. The plot needs a “normal” Wash, so, bam, magic computer solution. Never mind Wash’s trauma and character traits. Never mind the logic of the new worldbuilding which also includes a character suffering for years to heal an illness. But the brain damage that was such a big consequence that it became the main part of the plot of the last two seasons – gone. I mean, a gunshot to the head can be healed by CPR. That’s canon. But no one gave Wash CPR so it’s a big thing, okay. It was canonically a big thing, and Zero erased that. This is not me saying that a Cerebral Enhancer couldn’t work in the RvB universe. Imagine it being done right. Wash struggling with the choice of getting used to his disability or accepting the possibility of help - at the cost of reliving his trauma. The struggle between what to choose - what should he choose when he wants to help as many as possible, the sacrifices he thinks he has to make, the way it could have been used as a part of his character growth. But in Zero, the enhancer isn’t a part of Wash’s character. It’s there so the story can work without having to deal with the previous plot’s consequence (HOTDOG).
Same with the sword thing. They sorta explain it by having Tucker flatline, but it’s weak. Honestly, I find it sorta offensive. What about Locus’ sword as well? It’s twisting previous lore to make the new plot work (HOTDOG). (Also, are we not gonna talk about the ultimate power being Spencer Porkensenson’s helmet? Have the writers forgotten Spencer Porkensenson? Have we as a community forgotten Spencer Porkensenson?)
If you have Red vs. Blue in your title, you cannot ignore what you inherit from it. You need to respect the worldbuilding, the established characters, and the previous plot. Zero does not do this.
Let’s talk about the Triplets. No, really, let’s do it. I don’t think I’ve ever talked about them before, because season 14 was a mixed bag for me (that I have now learned to appreciate. Thank you, Zero.) because I have heart at the size of the Grinch and can only love a few characters at a time, and that did not include the Triplets. Can’t even remember their names. Well, I can, but I can’t for the love of me remember which state is which, and my tongue is twisted every time I try to say Ohio, Iowa, and Idaho, and I know it’s on purpose. I know it is. And it got me good. That being said, the fandom actually embraced them really, really well! Seriously, I’ve seen more content for the Triplets than for Zero as a whole.
Why talk about the Triplets? (Was Iowa the lesbian? Or was it Ohio? Fuck.) Because like Zero, they introduced new characters with a story of their own. The Reds and Blues didn’t play a role. But here’s what I feel like the Triplets got right. They didn’t change the settings to force their narrative. They used stuff already established (Project Freelancer), added their own story as a continuation of that. They even included old characters in the beginning (Wash and some other Freelancers) but it felt natural and it didn’t feel like it happened at the expense of the old characters. Wash’s writing felt natural, and his presence wasn’t needed to tell these new character’s stories. He wasn’t a prop to them. He was there to establish the setting and to establish the relationship with these new characters, and then he and the other familiar faces (helmets??) left, and we as the viewers were left with these new characters. And the new characters told their own story by themselves. It felt like, hey, here’s something you know – remember Mother of Invention, and remember Wash’ lower rank, but now, try to imagine being even lower rank than him, aren’t you curious about those fates? Now let’s hear their story! It was new, it was something else, but it didn’t wreck what came before it, and it stayed true to the classic vibes of RvB.
As I said before, the hotdog-issue is my biggest problem with Zero. It infuriates me. I will return to this. But there are more issues, even if we try to look past the title-related problems.
If we try to imagine Zero as its own story and universe (as it should be, in my opinion), it still earns the meh review from me.
These isolated issues include awkwardness, the writing, lack of self-awareness, and pacing. First of all, holy shit, this is a tell, don’t show. Nothing is subtle, nothing is allowed to develop. It’s like the show thinks you are six years old with an attention span of a goldfish. You are not just led by the hand – they have literally pulled off your arm by the end of the show. We are force-fed every bit of information, every bit of personality from these new characters.
The voice-acting is a mixed bag for me. Sometimes it’s pretty good, sometimes it’s not. Some of the problems can definitely be blamed on the dialogue that you can only do so much with. It’s not good. I can’t remember any good jokes (the one joke I really appreciate was the cast on armor, and that was freaking visual humor. That was so RvB. Kudos to that. It was fun. More of that, please.), and RvB is known for having memorably good lines. This is a show built on good, clever, funny dialogue. Zero does not deliver. You have to sit through clichéd lines – “You’re not my dad”, “I trusted you”, “Come with me”, “It can’t be!”, “She’s way too powerful”, and “We have to do this together” – performed unironically. I cringed more than I laughed. Worst thing is that Zero could be a good parody. Sometimes, it feels like it is. One-dimensional characters, a villain wanting ‘the ultimate power’, very overpowered characters, bad one-liners, etc. But Zero takes itself seriously, and I was one of the people rooting for Jax to show up at the end and yell “Cut”. That would have been a funny-as-fuck twist. A spin-off parody. If I can’t have “Sarge the Movie”, I would have taken that and loved it. I would have forgiven everything. “We put so much info into finding that power, but we had no idea what it was” is really a line in the finale, and I cannot believe this is real in a show that somehow still tries to present itself as serious. What a plot.
We have to talk about pacing. God, first of all it should be stated that RvB is a mess when it comes to pacing. I honestly get what they were going for. Sometimes, RvB has come across as a bit boring when you get three episodes stretched over three weeks without much going on. I know season 11 did not have the warmest welcome because it was seen as boring until the finale. But when you see season 11 as a whole, as a movie, as a part of a trilogy, it works so well. Zero is more focused on being episodic. They want something to happen all the time so we will stay tuned. The thing that will happen – a fight. Oh god. The fight scenes.
I have done the math. I have run the numbers. I deserve a freaking cookie for this. Are you ready?
If you put all the episodes together, you have a runtime of 106 minutes. HOWEVER, with the introduction of credits in every episode, you gotta account for this. Removing the credits, this gives us 94 minutes of actual runtime. Out of that, 45 minutes are dedicated to fight scenes. That means 48% of the show is fight scenes.
If I wanted that many fight scenes, I’d watch Death Battle. Except the actual RvB Death Battle episode has a runtime of 20 minutes, and out of that, 5 minutes is dedicated to the actual battle. For the people who hate math – that’s 25% of the actual runtime.
RvB Zero has more fight scenes than a show called Death Battle. Take that in.
The pace suffers from this. Where’s the time to explore the characters? Where’s the time for good dialogue? All I can think of is this:
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I get that RvB is a show that’s literally making fun of itself by acknowledging all their characters do is stand around and talk. I get that you want characters to do more than that. But for the love of Church, would it kill the new characters to stand around and talk? For just a minute? Stop fighting, I am begging you, stop fighting! Am I a pacifist now? Am I purple? Have I joined Doc’s team? What has Zero done to me?!
The good thing though is that fight scenes are very good. They’re entertaining. However, they seem to deconstruct themselves when we need to get a fight scene in every episode. Usually, the few fight scenes in an RvB season were in some of the most climatic episodes. In Zero, I can hardly keep up with the pace because they won’t stop moving. Fight scenes aren’t plot. They aren’t character development. You need more than just fight scenes. They entertain, but there’s a limit to that.
Noël Wiggins, the co-writer, stated the inspiration was a Saturday-morning cartoon. They nailed that vibe. If that was their goal, hurray, they have accomplished something! Because of the poor plot and constant fight scenes, it feels like you could just switch on the TV and drop in at any moment and let yourself be entertained by the cool and colorful soldiers punching and kicking each other. I will admit that the fight scenes entertained me. But they don’t make it a good season.
If I were the six-year-old with the attention span of a goldfish that the show believes I am, I honestly would enjoy it. The stiff dialogue and the constant tell-don’t-show makes you feel like an audience that’s not supposed to do anything else but admire the flashy fight scenes. I miss the cleverness of RvB. I miss the characters I get to connect with as I see them grow.
I miss the tone of RvB. Because this isn’t RvB to me.
It’s not that RvB hasn’t changed its tone before. Holy shit, I sorta do want to experience the absolute shock the RvB fandom went through when s6 aired and they were given new characters and serious plot. I would have loved to experience that, but I was too busy being ten years old. The Freelancers seasons also introduced a new tone and more fight scenes with very talented fighters compared to the Blood Gulch gang, but a balance was kept by having half of the season still revolving around the Reds and Blues. But Zero – Zero is so much change. And it’s on purpose. At least this has been made very clear from the beginning.
They constantly seem to appeal to new fans, rather than be directed towards older fans of the show. If you want an entirely new audience with a season with a new cast, new worldbuilding, and new tone, I’m confused as to why they don’t just make a new show. The hotdog-problem begs for this solution. This story and environment and characters feel so out of touch with the original RvB, that with a few rewrites and lack of Halo-armor, it could just be a new show. Problem solved.
If not this, then present it as a spin-off. In all ways, it feels like a spin-off (again, see everything marked HOTDOG). But the creators refuse to do this, and I don’t understand why. I could forgive many of these issues, had they officially separated themselves from canon.
Ah, what’s the idiom? You can’t both swallow and blow? (You can hear the Bow-chicka-bow-wow in the distance). Something about eating cake and having it. Forgive me, English isn’t my native language. POINT IS why are you calling yourself RvB while actively fighting against the core essence of RvB? In my humble opinion, you can’t be both. Marketing it as a spin-off would have granted it some defense when changing, well, literally everything, and I just, would someone please properly describe why it isn’t a spin-off? Isn’t this season marked by its association with the plot of RvB rather than a continuation of it? Zero presenting itself as not a spinoff feels like a toddler clinging to the hem of its mother’s dress while forcefully running away from her, ripping the dress in the process.
When they do connect with the original RvB, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. When they let Carolina, Wash, and Tucker appear for a moment, it feels like luring viewers in with the RvB title. Look at me. Look at me! I’m not saying this is the case. I say that it gives me the annoying vibes of being lured, rather than letting the characters be a part of the show for their own development, rather than having RvB in the title to continue its story. I should not be getting these vibes at all. But I am.
If you want to use RvB in the title, something from the core of RvB needs to be embraced. Things can be changed. They should. Something new should be brought in. But there’s a limit to how much you can change and replace and twist until it would have been better with an original show. As a season of RvB, it should tell the story of Red vs. Blue.
From my perspective, Zero fails to do so.
It pains me that the old cast has been replaced, but as stated earlier, a season could have worked without them. However, I do not like the take that one should be excited about all the new characters. That it isn’t a big thing that the OG cast got replaced. That we should just deal with it. Just, try to imagine another show suddenly replacing the main characters with characters we’ve never met before. Imagine RWBY suddenly only focusing on a new team of huntresses with the previous main characters reduced to an Easter Egg presence, or Camp Camp suddenly being about a new team of campers, no warning given. Can you imagine the outcry? So maybe let’s agree that a replacement of the main cast is a big thing and should be addressed and it’s valid to be upset about this change.
Could Zero have worked? It’s hard to answer this. How can I accept something as RvB if the season actively pushes away the core of RvB aside for an isolated story that could have been told in any other media? As a spinoff, I could have ignored it. To enjoy Zero, I have to fully separate it from RvB in my mind, and then it’s alright. S’not good. But it’s not bad. It’s entertaining enough. I really ended up liking Raymond and Tiny, and there were a few good jokes, and the fight scenes were admirable (but too much) and I love the creators’ passion. But it’s not RvB. I also wish that the new characters had been attached to previous worldbuilding, for example soldiers on Chorus or agents from Project Freelancer. That way we could build on familiar lore which would have decreased the confusion and added a much needed connection with the previous seasons of RvB.
God, the anxious voice is back (by the way, it sounds like Tutter from “Bear in the Blue House”).
“You’re racist” – I hope not. Literally, I do not want to be. Tell me if I’ve ever crossed some lines, because I swear, that is not my intention, I will apologize and most of all, change and do better. I included this because I’ve seen this take thrown around in the big ugly mess that is the fandom clashes regarding Zero. And racism is problem within RT community (this includes AH and RvB, sorry, I just use RT as an umbrella term for the latter), and I’m not saying it hasn’t been a problem with this season. Writers should never be harassed, and never-fucking-ever because of their skin color, and voice actors shouldn’t be treated like they are responsible for the choices of the show. But I was legit nervous to post this review, and I hope it’s been factual without feeling like personal attacks on the creators because that has never been my intention. I was delighted to hear about the diversity behind this project, and Torrian’s passion legit blew me away because it’s been a while since I’ve seen that for an RvB project. I’d hoped for it to be good, and when I feel disappointed, it’s for the reasons stated in this analysis. That said, Zero is made by a diverse cast and it’s made with love, and both of those things are so, so great, but it does not mean that Zero cannot be criticized. It can, and it should. It’s a product, just like all the other seasons, and fans are allowed to discuss it – both what they loved, and both what they found troublesome. And to repeat previous points, and be respectful, always, fuck racists, and never-fucking-ever harass the staff behind a season, what the fuck is wrong with you if you do this.
“Don’t you get it, it’s different because it’s trying something new!” – Hey, remember the philosophical question: if you replace all the parts of a ship one-by-one, is it still the same ship when you’re done? If it doesn’t include the Reds and Blues, if it ignores previous plot, if the old characters feel miswritten, if it values animation over dialogue, if it values fight scenes over comedy, if it wants to be Fast and Furious instead of Red vs. Blue – is it still Red vs. Blue? Because it doesn’t feel like it to me.
“It's been 17 seasons, it’s time to let the Reds and Blues go so someone else can shine!” – I simply do not understand us having been with the Reds and Blues for 17 seasons should be an argument to let them go, rather than be an argument as to why their absence hurt like hell.
“The Reds and Blues ran out of things to do!” – Did- did they, though? I mean, if we were discussing pretty much any other show, I’d probably agree that they were running out of content. But for the Reds and Blues… I think the PSAs nailed it this year! I’m not kidding, I had more fun watching the Reds and Blues discuss how to do laundry than watching Zero. You could literally give me an hour of the Reds and Blues trying to bake a cake or clear a gutter or simply settling down with an ordinary life, and I would trust them to make it worth the watch.
“The flaws were due to the fact it’s only 8 episodes long!” – Look, I can only judge a product the way it’s presented to me. I cannot come up with excuses for it. If they had 8 episodes to work with, they need to come up with a plot that works with this runtime. Seriously, this excuse cannot work when 48% of the season is spent on fight scenes. They could have used more runtime, sure, but the show needs to be able to pace itself and be planned accordingly.
“The OG cast couldn’t be a part of this year, hence Zero!” – That might be true. But. Would one year without RvB kill it? Is Zero necessary? Again, I just can’t judge excuses for the show. But trouble with the cast has been an issue before. Season 15 solves Geoff’s sabbatical by actually making Grif’s absence a part of the plot. Zero’s lack of Reds and Blues just feels like this excuse to tell a story that needn’t be a part of RvB.
Am I a hater? I guess? I greatly dislike Zero for the critique stated above. I do, however, not harass the creators and no one should ever do that. However, I have to admit that I feel there’s been this weird rejection of any critique of Zero where everything’s been brushed off as haters gonna hate, including the critique stated above. And I think that’s a problem because critique, as hard as it can be to hear (and I know this. I’m an author of original works. Weird flex, I know), is valid and necessary and shouldn’t just be shrugged away. As always, both sides of the fandom should always be respectful, but my own opinion is that addressing the flaws of Zero should not be controversial.
Does this super long rant/critique/whatever mean you cannot enjoy Zero? Gods no! I almost envy you if you enjoy this season, but holy shit, feel free to love it and tell the creators that you love it! Me pointing out the issues I have with the season shouldn’t be stopping you. I loved (and still love) s15 when it came out, and it was majorly rejected by the fandom. There were many, many critical posts, people were going on about how RvB should have ended with s13, and it evolved into the writer receiving death threats (me, once again: never ever harass the creators, assholes). But I didn’t tell people to stop being negative. I actually agreed with many of the flaws that were pointed out, and I enjoyed the season despite this, because that is possible. We, as RvB fans, should agree that RvB, is... I mean, it’s not the greatest, most flawless of shows, but we love it nonetheless. So go ahead and love Zero. This is not a stop sign. This is my opinion that you chose to read.
Wait, I promised you a cookie, didn’t I? Well, you’re not getting one. Why? Because I’m a Red and this is my chance to piss off a Blue. As Caboose wisely said: “Well, at least I don't go around... knocking on people's non-doors... and promising them cookies... and then NOT. GIVING. THEM. COOKIES!”
Blue Team sucks.
End speech.
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ignitification · 3 years
Text
Two Sides of the Same Coin.
So, I actually hinted at this in my Yoichi Shigaraki's post - but as I found myself thinking about it, it becomes even more clear that the parallels between Deku/Bakugou and Yoichi/2nd User are way too many to be ignored (and that at the same time, they can be applied to Deku and Shigaraki).
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Now, I'd have to consider in this post that the 1st and 2nd movie are, if not canon, an alternative universe which directly links back to the main story (as we saw with the Compression Gauntlet made by Melissa in the 1st movie, and which Izuku sports in Ch. 309).
But at the same time, I am not going to mention of some implication which might be related to this post entailed the possibility of Heroes Rising and Bakugou or one of his ancestors being an OfA user because of two reasons: I. because I am not a fan of the theory and II. because as things stand now, it has little to no relevance for the post.
Now, onto the main part: if we think about it, it makes absolutely sense that a foreshadowing of the relationship between Izuku and one or both of his counterparts is shown through the Vestiges of OfA. As I already wrote in the past (and I am particularly referring to this post), the Vestiges are somehow an enclosed space where Izuku is free to explore the Consciousness of his own Quirk. At the same time, it allows him to have insight in himself and occasionally others from within the same environment. Point in case, this happens with Shigaraki - when after touching him through AfO's Quirks's wires, Shigaraki (possessed by AfO, that is) enters the Vestiges.
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This narrates of the fact that, mostly - appearances are not everything. I guess, this is also why the Vestiges look like a piece of crumbled building; not only because they managed to fully shape after the power evolved - which means through Toshinori towards Izuku - but also that the Vestiges are a kind metaphor for the people inhabiting the Vestiges. If the Vestiges are a shared consciousness formed due to the embers of an identity left in it and embed with a personality before being passed, it means that there is a sort of personalisation of OfA. Well, that should have been clear when Horikoshi made Izuku develop Shoot Style, and manifest OfA in different ways from All Might - freeing Izuku form the shackles that is his admiration for the hero. But most importantly it also means that this personalisation comes from within, while the power and that is, the core and the shared value of these people, stays fundamentally the same. Which is then represented by the Vestiges. But, the fact that this Quirk Personalization makes its way through the cracks on a shared identity, is evident in the fact that every user if free to decide whether to acknowledge the other (and foremost Izuku) and what to think of the situation. As the 2nd User speaks, he is still not entirely convinced that Izuku's is the way to go (I wonder, whether the fact that Izuku cannot properly speak also depends on the fact that User 2 and 3 haven't fully accepted Izuku yet).
This brings us forward to the notion of Hero, of Saving and the 'Room'. As it is clear by the panels above, 2nd User and Izuku play the role of Saviours, offering a help which is thought maybe not needed, but it is offered all the same. It is also at the beginning of a life-long journey, even if Izuku and Bakugou's comes way much after. Yoichi considers 2nd his hero, and the initiator of the story. Bakugou considers Izuku not his hero, but at the same time - Izuku, time after time, 'saves' Bakugou and offers him a hand to get out of the room full of himself in which society closed him in. But, these consideration, in my opinion, fit more the Shigaraki and Izuku storyline.
First of all, notwithstanding everything, Shigaraki is the main 'antagonist' of the story. He's the leader of the LOV, and while not the brain of the operation, he is still the one who puts in practice. He is the one actually influenced by AfO. He is the one, again, to be closed off from the world by AfO. Same as for Yoichi - as a form of absolute control. AfO encloses in a definite space, both mentally and physically Yoichi and Tomura both. He wants from them to be dependent of him. Wants them to be grateful to him for what he has done. Because he is the one who saved them, who gave them the necessary power and helped them survive in this world. It is not a case, that looking-wise Yoichi and Tomura are so similar, especially after the 'Hibernation' Tomura went through. And this scenario also brings to mind the way Shigaraki's body gets hijacked by AfO's consciousness, and Shigaraki tries to fight it - but instead, he is put to 'sleep' and rest, as to recover - because of the amount of energy used during the battle against the heroes.
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As for the Hero part played by the 2nd User in the original scenario, Izuku is the one most likely to represent it in the upcoming occasions. Lately, there has been a lot of speculations about Izuku saving or not Shigaraki (the whole Vestige talk is after all, about Shigaraki and Izuku), but in the end, as said countless times: the set up talks clearly. Izuku is dead set on offering the tentative hand to Tomura, because in the Vestiges he saw that Shigaraki Tomura is nothing else than an identity created by AfO out of spite, hatred and manipulation. It's a mask, which Tomura executes as its best capabilities.
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And if Izuku, who is the one who actually puts the seed of ‘But after all, maybe, there IS something to save, if you can understand what made villains the way the are’ is, despite the double expressed by Ni-sama, the hero of this scenario - on a very evident side that Shigaraki, or rather, Shimura Tenko, is the one who embodies the concept of Salvation and Destruction (Restoration), that is at the core of the entire manga series (and of course, of the ideology brought forward by the OfA users). Izuku Midoriya is, after all, walking the same steps of the 2nd user: going to save someone tossed aside and in AfO’s control, giving birth to a new stage of society and consequently reality. It’s a change in tide. The beginning of something new, and the end of something long overdue. It’s the beginning of a new, reformed society which does not see murder as a way of salvation, but rather understands that Heroes can show and bring forward another way, while working on themselves and working to save the villains. And it’s, at the same time, the End of an era holding Heroes in the highest regard, and glorifying power and strength (All Might’s Quirk. Endeavour, even the criteria of the UA entrance tests). An Era which held All Might accountable for everyone else, too - and made him bear the burden. An Era which made society lazy and uninvolved with the villains and the ugly side of themselves (which I already explored in this take). As Yoichi puts it, it’s thanks to him that the OfA’s story begins - and it may be because of Izuku that it ends, as it will fulfil its greatest mission: to free the world from AfO and to save Shigaraki Tomura.
This is why, the parallels between becoming a hero, and offering a hand to someone who probably never even consider the possibility of needing it, is a foreshadowing for what is likely to go down between Izuku and Tomura.
But as always, parallels, even when everything, still might be just a perception of the real situation. A perception of a situation which is where different, also similar because, as we all know - history is a fickle thing and it has a terrible habit of always repeating itself.
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klm-zoflorr · 3 years
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Why It Is Bad That We Never See Mai or Ty Lee in the Comics Deal With Their Imperialist Past
How come we never see Mai or Ty Lee deal with their imperialist past in the comics? For yeah comics!Azula is a horrible person and it is implied that Azula was never friends with Mai & Ty Lee, who where coerced subjects trying to keep their mad sovereigns (Azulon, Ozai, & Azula) happy. But I find it odd that neither no one in-universe or the narrative challenges them for their past. Like Zuko, Iroh, Piandao, Jeong Jeong, and Chey all had to confront their imperialist past before redeeming themselves despite having as good an argument, if not better, that they were being coerced or faced life threatening consequences if they didn’t comply. So what makes Mai or Ty Lee different any different? And before people say they went to prison, it was for committing treason against the Fire Nation/attacking their Princess; not for realizing the error of their ways and wanting to change.
Though in Ty Lee’s case she did say she did join the Kyoshi Warriors in order to fix a broken world in the Sisters comic so maybe Ty Lee did confront her past. But I wish we saw her time in prison so we saw her change considering she enthusiastically fought against the Kyoshi Warriors & The Gaang and mocked the Kyoshi Warriors’ style, not knowing or caring for the reason behind their makeup or dress.
However comics!Mai really hasn’t really done anything…in fact she kept from Zuko and The Gaang the fact that her father was leading the New Ozai Society until Zuko almost got killed (and was only saved by PIS and a last minute unexpected heel-face turn) and The Fire Warriors were able to kidnap around a dozen kids, including Mai’s own brother and Azula/Zuko’s half sister. And even more galling, when confronted for her treason, she has the gall tell an understandably angry Zuko that he of all people should understand how hard it is to betray your father. As if there wasn’t a difference between betraying the all powerful ruler of your country who has a cult of personality, has burned you before, can quickly fire off lethal amounts of lighting on command, and has said before he wanted to kill you versus betraying your mentally and physically weak father who rejected being integrated into the new government and seeks to put someone back in power who would likely kill you for committing treason against him.
On a sidenote, isn’t crazy that Zuko then quickly apologized and the story never brought up the topic of Mai’s treason ever again?
But getting back on track, are we being unreasonable in asking that Mai and Ty Lee confront their past or if they already did, that we actually see it on page/screen? Especially since the message sent by them not doing so is that if you turn at almost the last point possible, the people you have wronged repeatedly and the world community will instantly forgive you despite constantly engaging in imperialism (ex. fighting against the rebels in Omashu, jailing and impersonating The Kyoshi Warriors), let alone helping commit one of the biggest acts of imperialism in history (helping Azula take over Ba Sing Se)?
Also on a sidenote, I do have an on-going series where I post my thoughts on the Avatar series (this is where this post came from) so feel free to read the rest of them and comment on them.
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I absolutely agree, Anon. I also think Avatar does have a huge problem with putting people into "boxes", like the Good Guys: Zuko, Aang, Katara, Iroh, Ty Lee, Mai, Ursa, even Azulon somehow who can NEVER do or ever did anything wrong (even tho anyone with even a piece of a critical mind knows they did and are flawed human beings) and the Bad Guys: Azula, Zhao, Ozai who are entirely bad and never did anything right and are basically souless emotionless demons.
"it is implied that Azula was never friends with Mai & Ty Lee"
Tbh I feel like this point was a retcon. In the show we see Azula genuinely likes them (hugging Ty Lee, apologising to her, setting Mai up with Zuko, playing with them as kids, being genuinely hurt when they betray her) and I'd be strongly tempted to say they did too. That might just be my interpretation but I feel like Mai really was awfully bored in Omashu and she was happy Azula came to give her something to do. Same for Ty Lee, she looked happy when Azula came at the circus (before she started threatening her), and when they were playing as kids. And I don't think her constant compliments were 100% genuine, of course, she's smarter than this, but I don't believe she was completely lying to her either.
Imo, they were friends, it was just so much complicated by Azula being their commander, war, and living in an imperialistic nation.
The comics (and the last episode of the show too) don't care about that, of course. The narrative they propose is just "Mai and Ty Lee always hated and feared Azula, they had to do everything she told them and so they never have to face any consequences" even tho we know Zuko, who was actually in that situation, had to face consequences for his.
Also, Mai is a perfect New Ozai Society supporter if I've ever seen one. I'm gonna start headcanoning her as a legit villain who consciously manipulated her way to avoid consequences for her actions thanks to being the Firelord's gf and her "treason", it's fun.
«The message sent is that if you turn at almost the last point possible, the people you have wronged repeatedly will instantly forgive you.»
Preach it! Ironically enough, last-minute traitors are often forgiven injustly in real-life wars even tho they might be objectively terrible people, but I don't think the comics writers were aiming to explore this particular subject xD
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