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sepublic · 4 years

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Eda the Beast

Well, a horrible thought just came into my head- But imagine Eda transforming into an Owl Beast the first few times, the first few years into her curse. And in addition to all of the horrible stuff she must’ve gone through… Imagine her turning into an Owl Beast and getting out into public; Being mistaken for just a regular beast, and having Animal Control called on her! Imagine Animal Control abusing and mistreating Eda not as an actual person but as a creature, throwing her into a cage, locking her up… Imagine Eda reverting back inside a cage, scared and traumatized... Terrified by the other animals, especially if she’s put into the same room as some! And then they get harsh towards her, and Eda retains injuries from her time as an Owl Beast, having no idea what happened or what’s going on with her…

Imagine Eda having to deal with almost being put down, or captured and sold to some zoo, or Lilith having to rescue her! Imagine Eda recognizing her situation, dimly, and desperately trying to convey that she is a PERSON, not a pet, not a wild animal to be euthanized or experimented on… Imagine some bullies at school, snidely telling Eda that her sleeves should be orange like her hair; Because an animal like her would surely recognize other creatures and be a wonderful Beastkeeper! And any time she does well with beastkeeping magic, this kind of snide remark of, “Of COURSE the Monster Girl knows beasts well!” is made, discouraging Eda and making her feel self-conscious about her skill there, until she just straight-up forgoes beastkeeping magic, with it ruined for her… And don’t consider bullies sneering and suggesting that Eda could be ‘tamed’ with beastkeeping magic, as the animal she really is! Maybe a few bullies from the beastkeeping track try to pull a cruel prank- And of course Eda still wrecks them, but still.

It’d be so humiliating, dehumanizing, and really reinforce Eda’s insistence on being free and not beholden to anyone, least of all Belos…! Maybe it’d give new background to Eda being King’s friend, because she actually sort of gets and understands that feeling of being treated like a mindless animal to own or do away with, and not as a legitimate person. King wouldn’t know how Eda understands, he wasn’t aware of the curse until rather recently- So then it just leads to him wondering why this random Owl Lady is so considerate, what could she POSSIBLY know about his situation?! Perhaps Eda ends up feeling sympathy for some animals and creatures who are abused, because like it or not, they were right to an extent- Being cursed DID give her some perspective on what it’s like for beasts, and grant some very involuntary and dehumanizing solidarity with them.

Maybe people compare Eda to the Greater Basilisk or whatever, as a monster pretending to be a witch, rather than a witch who sometimes turns into an Owl Beast… And how Eda might get mistreated; The apprehension and distrust towards Demon Hunters, of being killed and maybe even chopped up and eaten by them… Objectified and treated like some exotic piece of meat, or some rare pet to own?! The idea makes me sick. Especially since we’ve seen basically what I’ve described almost happen in Escape of the Palisman… And then King taking advantage of Eda’s cursed state in that episode could’ve come across as a real betrayal to her. But on the other hand, King still tried to treat her with some respect, and you can argue that he tends to command and boss around actual people too, so the treatment may not be all that different; Still, it was NOT a good thing, but at least King apologized and legit changed his behavior.

I can see a lot of people who captured Eda realizing their mistake, but then blaming Eda for ‘tricking’ them or whatever! That kind of victim-blaming and gaslighting would really force Eda to affirm her self-confidence, while recognizing her dignity and where she’s been unjustly insulted and hurt, and to step up for herself- Especially after her and Lilith grew more distant, she really had to learn to handle the curse on her own, and probably with Hooty and Owlbert’s help. Thankfully, I can see Hooty being VERY adept at handling Owl Beast Eda… Then again, she DOES attack and disable him in The Intruder; So maybe not.

Maybe he was just caught by surprise, maybe Owl Beast Eda still attacked Hooty, because he’s just THAT aggravating, y’know? Maybe his voice is really irritating to OBE, so while he has the force to handle Eda, he doesn’t have enough of that sisterly, soothing reassurance that Lilith did. Also, Hooty may have been made a while into Eda’s curse, when she’d already figured out how to handle it with elixirs and not transform as often, whereas Lilith would’ve been alongside her for most of the trial-and-error. Regardless, Hooty is recognized, but he hasn’t done much to earn Owl Beast Eda’s love and affection, either…

Still- Let’s not imagine Owl Beast Eda having to go through the dehumanizing fear of being hunted at night, shall we? Let’s not think of some crowd or vigilantes trying to track down Owl Beast Eda into the woods, or worse- Some people try to lynch her! Of course Eda as a witch could protect herself and even kill in self-defense, but as an Owl Beast, not so much… A lot of bias and prejudice could lead to people doubting if Eda was acting in self-defense, or if she was just giving in to her ‘primal urges’ as a violent, savage beast. Don’t imagine Eda having to be REALLY mindful of how she acts or fights, until eventually she goes screw it, I’m rightfully defending myself and I’m a recluse criminal anyway… And really, I can see this kind of prejudice contributing to her being a recluse, alas. Possibly to get away from the torment, and also to protect herself- And maybe OTHERS, in Eda’s mind…

And it just leads to this idea in her head of separating from others to protect them, which culminates in the Season Finale when Eda tells Luz to abandon her to her petrification- Until Luz very much teaches Eda that she helps and heals and doesn’t hurt, by fighting on, while Lilith’s change of heart no doubt means a lot to Eda and impacts her- As does the crowd’s protest for her freedom. I imagine some people in the crowd recognized that there was a divide between Eda and her Owl Beast form- Or at the very least, this wasn’t something she could control and not something she should be killed for, especially if she can handle it with elixirs. A lot of people likely recognized that Owl Beast Eda’s threat to them was being greatly exaggerated, both by local rumors and the Emperor’s Coven. And that teaches Eda that people aren’t scared of her- Or at least, not enough to let her be executed, which means a lot because it shows that others also recognize the worth and rights of others, even if they don’t like that person.

Did Eda feel self-conscious, about people being afraid of her? And how she handled this in trying to sell things to people; How they eventually realized over the years that despite being a criminal, she hadn’t really hurt anyone who didn’t have it coming? Amidst enjoyment of her wares, Morton appreciating her business… Still, after that brief scene in Grom, I can see some kids regarding Eda with fear as the accursed Owl Beast, and it ends up REALLY getting to her, because the opinions of children tend to feel way more substantial than that of adults. Maybe Eda was a little hurt on the inside when Luz ran away from her in fear, because Eda didn’t immediately recognize that Luz was just a human and everyone in the Boiling Isles is scary to her- So it means a lot when Luz calms down and recognizes Eda as not a monster…

And even when Eda DOES turn into a monster, Luz still acts to incapacitate Eda, not kill or escape her; And Luz doesn’t even bat an eye at Eda when she wakes up. Obviously she was also focused on her first spell, but still! Her medical encouragement and tips towards Eda show that this is something that Luz has normalized, thanks to her open mind and influence from Camila; So it no doubt helps Eda REALLY feel like a person, and feel like normal in the proper way… Not in that conforming manner, but in the “Yes you deserve to live you are not an abomination nor a freak, you are VALID” manner. I’m just imagining Eda having once worried about looking scary to people, questioning her own appearance… And that leads to her learning to REALLY appreciate how she looks, and love her body, reclaim it on her own terms and not let others define it for Eda!

Maybe she had a phase where she tried to look more approachable, or changed herself up so people wouldn’t recognize her as the Owl Beast, before Eda just went screw it and fully embraced the Owl Lady aesthetic! Eda wouldn’t let anyone ruin anything for her, so after a period of avoiding beastkeeping magic, for fear that she’s validating and proving the insults that others say- As the feral Owl Lady, she embraces those kinds of spells as well! And I can see her even playing into that fear and apprehension by others, turning it against them- With Eda seeing a bully make a cruel remark about her being an animal or an infectious werewolf, before she bares her teeth and suggests that she really IS; Scaring off her bullies as Eda plays her own messed-up pranks that relate to her status as the Owl Lady.

#the owl house #owl house #the owl house eda #edalyn clawthorne #the owl house king #the owl house luz #luz noceda #angst #meta

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rhydium · 3 years

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Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

#jackal.txt #android infinite au #i need a proper name for this #infinite the jackal #dr starline #starfinite #long post #idw sonic spoilers

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axe-trio-commanders · 4 years

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~Magic Cats~

Ssso this has been sitting in drafts for too long, time to post it regardless because I want to talk about the different legions and magic because other people have been talking about cat lore and i have Many Thoughts and also no one on this site is capable of stopping me now.

A read more here because oh boy a suggestion of conversation topic somehow turned into an entire essay because I have absolutely no self-control whatsoever. (Might also be a Yahuk appreciation post at this point. Also, just a... general warning for a society failing its people and causing all sorts of insecurities and general mental un-health, mostly involving failure to conform to expectations. Also mention of death.)

Flame

So! First, Flame Legion. Clearly, they have a bit of an advantage at the moment because they never really lost magic? Even after the whole truce thing, they're still clearly using it, and best boi Efram seems intent on letting everyone learn it. It doesn't seem to be exclusively magic they're using, not quite- there's a half-decent bit of engineering in some of their weaponry, and they still compliment their smoke magic with knives. Granted, it's... definitely primarily fire magic. I'm not sure if that's jut more natural, or if, say, more water-based elementalists or mesmers just aren't allowed as much status (or encouragement) as those that can use fire.

Iron

Iron legion, as a very stark contrast, seems... very, very opposed to magic. I don't recall ever seeing an iron charr use magic. Create things to contain magic, yes- primarily ghosts- but use it? There's plenty of engineers, for... maybe obvious reasons, but I couldn't give you a clear example of an iron legion elementalist. (Feel absolutely free to prove me wrong by posting many pictures of iron legion elementalists, though.) Heck, it's Efram that suggests it, but adding a 'flame legion kick' to Iron's weapons being an entirely new idea seems a little... telling. Heck, it's not hard to imagine using magic to improve your weapons is seen as 'cheating', at best.

Drawing off the 'Iron Fist of the Legion' personal story, it's pretty clear that Iron legion is incredibly strict. Samona (my precious, precious child whom I hold dear to my heart after re-reading two lines of dialogue from her) is quite literally banned from inventing for letting an Ash Legion charr into their super-secret-weapon base (that Ash already knew about because they're Ash), despite the fact that she only did so to stop Flame (who also knew about it) from sabotaging the entire thing. Good intentions don't matter- strictly following orders does. Her centurion describes the legion as a 'siege engine'- everything has to be predictable, and in working order- and, well... magic, as far as the legions are concerned, is anything but predictable.

Blood

Blood legion, while probably still biased against them, seems... less strict. I could, in fact, name a blood legion elementalist- Yahuk Fellstrike. I'm probably going to be going off a lot of his dialogue here, but you can get a lot from what he says after you rescue him from Flame in the ash legion story mission. The fact that you can specifically ask 'how was being an elementalist in blood legion' is... pretty telling in and of itself, and he admits that some officers got upset about it, but neither Rytlock (good on you, bud) nor his warband really cared. So it's definitely discouraged, still, but not outright banned. Then, in the next question, you ask about him joining your warband in Ash, and he says the officers were rather upset about it- heck, Rytlock only agrees to it because he likes you. (I fought one ghost with you sir I do not understand-) It's also worth noting that it seems like Rytlock called the mission in the first place- though, granted, he might have personal reasons for liking this particular warband. (Eyes Crecia) Still, Yahuk evidently gained enough respect that charr other than Rytlock and his warband didn't want him to leave.

There's also probably plenty more examples of magic-use in Blood legion, the obvious one being Crecia (though between her clear experience with subterfuge and poisons and and offhand comment about Rytlock around grothmar involving 'keeping it in the legions' I had to verify that she'd never somehow gotten Ash training somewhere, especially considering the 'why can't we just set them on fire instead of this sneaky sneak nonsense' that Yahuk's journal makes pretty clear, and honestly she miiiiight be a bit of an outlier bc Bangar seems to be kinda Like That sometimes). It's harder to be in blood legion and use magic, but if you can clearly destroy your enemies without mercy you'll probably be more-or-less fine. (Besides the inherent mental damage that having to work significantly harder than everyone else to prove yourself in a society that very much values aggression and violence causes, but like. They won't actively prevent you from ever using it or ban you from the legion. Just a bit more trauma, you’ll be fiiiiiiine.)

Ash

And then... and then there's Ash legion. I'm going to talk a lot about it because it's where my Commander's from and I have a lot of Feelings about it, but there's gonna be a lot of subjective stuff because we don't really know a lot about them? We don't know their homeland, don't know much about their imperator, don't have a lot of Big-Name-Characters in the story from that legion besides their imperator- heck, even being in the legion as part of your personal story doesn't give you much. But, from that and how other charr talk about them, we can gather that... well, no one else knows anything about them either, and... Iron and Blood don't seem to like them very much? I don't consider anything in Bangar's speech when he’s praising them to mean anything on this point because it's... Bangar, but there's a good few instances of other legions' charr clearly vocalizing distrust and a general distaste. (Yes I'm looking at you, Ryland. Stop teaching Braham these things. Rude child.) Generally, the theme is that they're untrustworthy and cowards in combat- which... well, no, you don't send Ash to the front lines, you send them behind the lines. (Them and Crecia, apparently. This isn't to hate on Crecia, she's wonderful, this is me being very very suspicious of every single one of Bangar's motives- actually I could probably make a whole other post comparing her and Yahuk at this point, but this is long enough already;;;). But you know what else most Blood and Iron charr generally find to be indicative of untrustworthiness and cowardice, to the point of being shunned entirely or having to overcompensate for existing?

Magic.

I don't have any other solid evidence for it, but... it's Ash legion, there's no solid evidence for anything so I do what I want. And it makes... sense. In Ash, who makes a better spy than a mesmer? Who can spy on Flame better than an elementalist? Sure, charr find magic users more shifty in every legion, but you're in Ash, you're shifty by association already. Judging by the interaction between Rytlock and Torga (in the previously mentioned Ash personal story), it seems that Ash doesn't like other legions involved in their business. (They just want to be involved in everyone else's business.) They do what they want, how they want to do it, just so long as it gets done. It's a bit hard to judge, but they don't seem to have the rigid order the other legions do- and, diving just... right into speculation territory, I'd like to think this allows their fahrar's cubs to develop a little more... naturally? The lack of emphasis on being a fighter or some sort of engineer means that warbands of all sorts of skills and specializations could result, making the legion more versatile- something incredibly useful for a legion focused on sabotage. Sure, the easy way in is having a bunch of thieves, but if you can have an axe-and-torch-wielding ranger in your warband and still get the job done? Yeah, sure, you'll just get different missions. Have a lot of engineers? Great, you can spy on Iron. A lot of fire elementalists? Cool, go dismantle Flame from the inside and incite rebellions. Have a lot of mesmers? Imagine the possibilities. Just, y'know, know that we have seven other, better mesmers watching, and if you betray your legion you die. Different combinations, letting cubs grow up into their own skills, only means you can very likely have at least one available warband specifically tailored towards any mission you could ever want- any charr could be Ash, because an Ash legion charr is allowed to be anything.

...Except liked by the other legions.

Going back to Yahuk's case, beyond simply being good enough to gain the respect of his legion, it's very possible that joining Ash is seen as a... downgrade, an option for charr who aren't quite good enough for their own legion- a sort of catch-all. Yahuk seems to join you because a) his warband's dead (and finding a new one as an elementalist probably won't be easy), b) you saved his life, and c) helping him murder a whole bunch of the charr who murdered his warband probably gives you a whole lot of respect points. The 'officials' don't want him joining Ash, even when his whole warband is dead, and again- Rytlock only agrees because he respects you personally.

And then, going back to Samona... her own agreement to join your warband is quick and happy enough, which might be a mix of her own personality and various other reasons- but talking to her centurion is probably the most telling. Despite the harsh punishment, he doesn't really seem to dislike Samona. He says most of those she'd worked with would still be her friends, doesn't refute her being sweet and clever- but he does believe she'll do better in Ash, rather explicitly so, lamenting that he couldn't give her the flexibility she needed to work well while she was still in Iron- but an Ash legion warband could give her that. Despite how little the other legions know about Ash, what they do know is that they allow that sort of flexibility, that they have use for Charr that just don't fit in other legions; their 'Square cogs'. Even Samona, who... likely doesn't have an ounce of subtlety.

Now, Samona doesn't seem to care much, because... she's Samona, and neither would any charr raised Ash, but for any other charr, proud of their legion? Having to join Ash is signifying of a failure to be who you were raised and molded to be. Plenty might rather become gladium. Even for magic-users, it's the easy way out- and, clearly, neither Blood nor Iron have any respect for 'easy'.

And... boy, for Yahuk...? He might have joined out of respect for you, but then... you left. For someone who'd likely tried so hard to gain the respect of his own legion... what does that say about him? He knows why he joined, who he is, but that's not clear to anyone else, and Ash doesn't value the same things Blood does. The respect he's managed to gain means nothing to them. His ferocity means nothing to them. The leader he respected is gone, and evidently, isn't coming back- what does he have left?

...

...So, uh.

Anyways, tldr, magic in flame is normal (when it's fire, at least), magic in iron is outright heresy, magic in blood is only okay if you're really good at murder, and magic in ash is actually just fine but no one else likes them so it doesn't really solve anything.

...And Yahuk needs therapy. Like a lot of therapy. Please let him have therapy.

Thaaat being said, this is the impression I got playing through as an Ash legion charr, and I’ve probably missed a few things. Feel absolutely free to critique!

#charr #gw2 #gw2 headcannons #and to think i was going to try and fit this in an /ask box/#ahah no #no this is nearly 2000 words #and i could still write more about this too???#lws4 spoilers #personal story spoilers #i think in the process of reforming the legions they need like #an entire legion of charr dedicated to therapy #they need it #they need it so bad #yahuk fellstrike #samona ironclaw #i'm never completing that achievement btw #i don't care if it gives me a mastery point i'm not doing it #it's illegal #crecia stoneglow #yes this is my excuse for zori having the temperment of a clingy house cat #no i will not change this #rytlock: didn't your primus ever teach you that showing emotion is weakness #zori: ...no?? are you okay????#text post #long text post #like just so very long text post this was /not/ intentional when i started writing what happened #death mention

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ajokeformur-ray · 5 years

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A fluffy scenario for Jareth trying to court the Reader? One where Jareth tries repeatedly to get her to let him court her and she finally agrees?

word count: 658.

After months of Jareth trying to get you to agree to court him, he had almost given up on the entire situation. To begin with, he had been indignant, offended, and had immediately taken the whole thing personally.

Over time, however, he had realised what it was that you were trying to say. You were young (you could be one hundred and to Jareth, you would be considered young… forever was an awfully long time, after all), you had your whole life ahead of you, and the connotations of courting in the modern day (’dating’, you had called it; though Jareth refused to adopt that term… It seemed childish, somehow, to such an ancient being) were much different than how they had been when the concept had first been introduced.

As such, Jareth had stopped asking you.

If you wanted to agree to his terms - all questions had been discussed over dinner, negotiations had been made successfully, and still your worries prevailed and you had turned him down multiple times (twelve, to be precise). Jareth was nothing if not persistent - then you would have to approach him with the subject yourself.

The ball, as some mortals say, was in your court.

Months passed with no new development and though Jareth maintained a quiet calm on the outside, on the inside he was truly despairing. It was so rare for beings such as he to find someone that they wanted to find forever with and he wished that he could grant his own wishes. He couldn’t, though, that would be unfair and as he well knew, that was the way that things were.

As such, when you approached the discussion that had hung over your heads for a long time, without being prompted, Jareth was more than a little surprised, and pleasantly so.

“Jareth, may we, I mean. May I, discuss…” You sighed as a smirk began to grow on his regal face. Your hesitation had already told him what it was that you wanted to talk about. You were predictable in that way, and it was one of the many human things that he loved about you. “I wanted to discuss that with you.”

Jareth’s lips twitched. He wanted to drag it out of you, but he knew what opening yourself up cost you, like it always had, so he took some modicum of pity on you.

“Of course, dearest. What is it this time that you wish to discuss?”

“My answer.”

“Oh?” An elegant eyebrow arched, interested.

“I didn’t mean to say no all those times.”

“Oh, you didn’t?” A mocking lilt took over his voice, and you glared at him over the table. His smirk didn’t discourage you, though, and you rose to his bait… Just like he knew you would.

“I mean, I did. But only because I was scared. How could you… How could I? How could this be real?”

Jareth had been alive for long enough, and encountered enough humans, to hear what you hadn’t said. How could you love someone like me? How could I leave my world behind? It was these questions, these objections, that he paid attention to. He didn’t voice what you wished to hear, because he didn’t need to. In your heart of hearts, you knew everything. It was only the parts of you that had been conditioned into self-doubt, to fuel greedy corporations, that objected, that refused to listen.

“Say it, Y/N. Say it, and finally put this to rest.”

His mismatched eyes, one pupil larger than the other to give the illusion of different colours, met yours. He begged you with his eyes and you found yourself discarding the chains of fear that had long since plagued you. You unlocked them, threw away the key, and your voice rang out loud and clear when you finally gave him the answer that both of you had longed for:

“Yes.”

It was the thirteenth time lucky.

Labyrinth: @tonsoffanfiction @errorspookyfailure @fierysins @wolfprincess114 @squidtheanon @my-lingering-soul @bingewatchingmylifegoby @phantom-fangirl-stuff @lyoly @strangewhovian-blog

#Anonymous #labyrinth #labyrinth imagine #jareth the goblin king #jareth the goblin king imagine #jareth #jareth imagine #jareth x reader

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darkpoisonouslove · 5 years

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N, P, S and X for the ask game :D?

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

I’m gonna do this for the OUAT fandom since I’m most active there

1. I’d love to see more comments on fics since I know how important that is for keeping the writer behind the story motivated. Now, I write myself and tbh my OUAT fics get a lot less reviews than the fics I write for some of my other fandoms. And it’s not just me. A lot of other writers (granted, not only in the OUAT fandom since that’s more of a universal problem across all the fandoms) are discouraged by the few comments and reblogs they get. Even reblogging the fic and screaming in the tags makes a writer’s day, believe me. And if you don’t want the fanfic on your blog for whatever reason, tumblr has the option of replies. That way you can still let the writer know you enjoyed their fic while keeping it off your blog. Boom, everyone’s happy and everyone gets more fics. Honestly, you don’t have to write novels in the comments. Just a short “I love it” can make a difference for the writer so I’d like to implore everyone who's reading this to take the extra 10 seconds to drop a comment to the fanfic writer whose fic you enjoyed. It costs you so little while it has the power to make someone happy for years in the future.

2. On that note, I’d like to see more engagement in the fandom as a whole. Now that the show is over, we run the risk of falling apart as a fandom. I don’t think the chances of that are very high but they’re still there. And that scares me to death because OUAT means so much to me (it has been so for almost 4 years now) and now that it’s over, the fandom is the only thing I have left. I don’t necessarily feel like there’s been a significant change in the interactions inside the fandom, but I think it would do everyone some good if we were more engaged with each other’s works. I know it’s hard to keep up with everything that’s going on and I’m far from demanding it from anyone. No, what I mean with this is that we as a community can offer more by barely changing anything about the way we engage with fandom content. It doesn’t take a lot. A comment on a fic you liked, a reblog on that gorgeous piece of art you just saw, a passing thought in addition to a headcanon you read - stuff like that. Small gestures of support can make the difference. And you don’t have to spread yourself thin over the activity of the entire fandom. Just be a little more engaged in the circles you’re in.

3. I’d like to see more consideration. It’s totally okay to fawn over some fanfic or fanart and it’s natural to want the creator to make more of it, but you should be careful with your requests. It’s common courtesy to first check if the creator is willing to make more of it before you start begging them to do so. Every creator likes to see that there’s interest in their works, but it’s a little overwhelming when someone demands more from you on a project that you don’t really feel like continuing. This might be a personal thing, but I feel a bit guilt-tripped when someone is pleading with me to do something that they desperately need of me. Especially when I’ve already stated my opinion on the matter. There are ways to encourage creators to make more content without coming off as demanding. Please, master those ways. (I’m sorry if this is too ranty; it’s just something that’s been bothering me in the last few weeks).

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

This got way too serious even for my own liking so let’s brighten the mood a little with a happy AU. A Curious Archer Animal AU which also draws from Beauty and the Beast to be exact.

Alice is a nymph who sees a man with a bow and arrow who’s trying to hit a little fox. She blasts him with her magic and knocks him out, just barely saving the fox from a deadly shot. It still gets wounded though and Alice takes it in her care. She brings it to the cottage where she lives to nurse it back to health but there’s something extraordinary about the fox. Alice uses her magic and figures out what the problem is. The fox is actually a girl and via her magic Alice finds out that her name is Robin and she was turned into a fox by Alice’s own mother - Gothel. Robin came across Mother Nature and got herself cursed because of her insufferable attitude. She’s not being any more pleasant when in Alice’s company. She breaks things around the cottage and scares other animals away. She even hunts a little bunny even though Alice has already taken care of her dinner. However, Alice’s relentless gentleness and her caring attitude start rubbing off on Robin and she changes over time. Meanwhile, Alice is looking for a way to turn Robin back into a human but finds nothing other than dead end after dead end. Finally, when she’s tired from the lack of progress, she goes to confront her mother and ask her to turn Robin back into a human. Gothel warns her to get rid of the fox and forget about it. Otherwise, she’ll take her powers away. Alice doesn’t back down, though, which results into her powers being sealed away by Gothel. She loses consciousness from the spell and falls to the ground, dropping Robin in the process. The fox worriedly licks Alice’s cheek, trying to wake her up, when a rainbow glow radiates from both of them. Robin is turned back into a human and Alice wakes up with all of her powers back since True Love’s kiss broke the curses put on both of them. Alice uses her powers to turn Gothel into a willow to make sure that she won’t harm anyone anymore since Robin was far from the only one who got cursed by Gothel. Alice takes the position of the leader of the nymphs and the new Mother Nature and she and Robin live happily together in the woods.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

I’ve mentioned this before but I think it’s worth mentioning again because I just love it so much and I know you love Zelena and I’m in such a Zelena mood today (I just made a video about her).

I headcanon that Zelena took self-defense classes after she lost her magic and that’s why she was able to defeat Jack/Hansel so easily. I think it makes sense for her to have considered other ways of self-defense since her magic was gone and she wasn’t a fully redeemed villain when it happened so there certainly were people who wanted to get back at her for something. And without magic she’d be defenseless against any possible new villain (and lbr it’s Storybrooke; there’s always a new villain). She wanted to be able to protect both Robin and herself since she didn’t want Robin to grow up the way she had - without a mother. Robin had already lost her father and Zelena wouldn’t allow her to lose her mother too. So she learned how to defend herself even without her magic.

X - top 5-10 characters who are yoUR PRECIOUS BABIES AND YOU WILL DIE DEFENDING THEM

Regina Mills (OUAT)

Zelena Mills (OUAT)

Robin Mills (OUAT)

Ruby Lucas (OUAT)

Kathryn Nolan (OUAT)

Loki (MCU)

Gamora (and Nebula) (MCU)

Phil Coulson (MCU & Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

Griffin (Winx Club)

Shego (Kim Possible)

Pretty much all of these can defend themselves but, heck, I love them to death and would defend them regardless.

Wow, this got so long, but it was funny and challenging, and I liked answering the questions.

#ask #intothewickedwood #once upon a time #ouat #curious archer #alice jones #robin mills #gothel #au #zelena

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abgailgibbs · 4 years

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Cut Flowers Last Longer Experiment Amazing Useful Tips

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What Pills Can I Use To Stop Early Ejaculation

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#Cut Flowers Last Longer Experiment Amazing Useful Tips #Premature Ejaculating

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commander-goo · 6 years

Text

Link's Diary (Part 1)

#botw #loz #legend of zelda breath of the wild #fanfiction #Link #hero of the wild #writing #my writing

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ebenpink · 5 years

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The 30-day eating challenge that can blow your mind—and transform your body. http://bit.ly/31BdlDZ

Diet challenges are usually all about what you can’t eat. But what if you could see huge results from a self-experiment that doesn’t make any foods off-limits? Instead of focusing on what you eat, our 30-day eating challenge emphasizes how you eat. And the results? They could be transformational.

++++

“You want the next level stuff?” I asked.

“Do this first, and let’s see if you can handle it.”

The nutrition advice I’d just given Cameron Lichtwer wasn’t what he expected, so I made it a challenge.

As an instructor at the British Columbia Personal Training Institute, a strength and conditioning coach, and a former competitive athlete, Cameron was no stranger to exercise and nutrition. In fact, he thought he’d tried it all.

But my advice? It was so… basic. Wasn’t he far beyond that?

Well, no. Because what I told him can help almost anyone, from the most advanced dieters to those who’ve struggled with healthy eating for a lifetime.

“Eat slowly and mindfully.”

I know: It sounds too ridiculously simple to work.

But guess what? It was exactly what Cameron needed. In two months, his body fat dropped from 13.9 percent to 9.5 percent, the lowest level he’s ever achieved. This was without weighing and measuring food, or following a restrictive meal plan.

Soon after he started, he sent me this text:

“I can’t believe it. I’m losing fat and destroying my workouts. I’m sleeping better. I feel awesome.”

Cameron was surprised by the results he got from such a simple process.

But I wasn’t.

Eating slowly is one of the core practices of Precision Nutrition Coaching.

Because it works.

So why not try the slow-eating challenge yourself?

Practice it for just 30 days, and you may be shocked at what you achieve—even if you don’t change anything else.

++++

5 ways this 30-day eating challenge will change your body and mind.

When it comes to eating better, most folks worry about the little details:

“Are potatoes fattening?”

“If I don’t drink a protein shake after my workout, is it even worth exercising?”

“Is keto really the best way to lose weight? Or should I be doing Paleo? Or what about the alkaline diet?!”

Yet they eat over the kitchen sink. Or in their car. Or in a daze while in front of the TV.

And who can blame them? We’ve been taught to think about what we eat, not how we eat.

That’s too bad since…

Eating slowly and mindfully can actually be more important than:

what you eat

when you eat

getting anything else “perfect”

Now, this may seem a bit controversial. After all, if you only eat Oreos, the speed at which you consume them isn’t your biggest problem.

But setting aside the extremes, slow eating may be the single most powerful habit for driving major transformation.

Instead of having to figure out which foods to eat, in what frequency, and in what portions—all important factors, of course—eating slowly is the simplest way anyone can start losing weight and feeling better, immediately. (Like, after your first slow-eaten meal.)

That fuels confidence and motivation, and from there, you can always tighten up the details.

Because why go to the complicated stuff right away, when you can get incredible results without it?

Slow eating isn’t just for nutrition newbies. Nutrition nerds can also see big benefits. If you’re like Cameron, for example, it could be the key to unlocking never-before-seen progress. In fact, we’ve seen it work for physique competitors, fitness models, and even Olympic athletes.

Slow eating is like the secret weight loss weapon everyone has access to, but nobody knows about.

That’s because it can help you…

1. Eat less without feeling deprived.

Sure, many popular diets claim this as a benefit. But with slow eating, this phenomenon can occur even if you don’t change what you’re eating.

For example, in one study, University of Rhode Island researchers served the same pasta lunch to 30 normal-weight women on two different days. At both meals, participants were told to eat until comfortably full.

But they were also told:

Lunch 1: Eat this meal as fast as you can.

Lunch 2: Eat slowly and put your utensils down between every bite.

The results:

When eating quickly, the women consumed 646 calories in 9 minutes.

When eating slowly, they consumed 579 calories in 29 minutes.

So in 20 more minutes, the slow-eaters ate 67 fewer calories. What’s more, it also took them longer to feel hungry afterward compared to when they were speeding through their lunch.

These effects, spread across every meal and snack, could add up to hundreds of calories saved over the course of a day.

Granted, this is just a single study, but it demonstrates what we’ve seen with our clients over and over.

(Feel free to try this experiment at home right now, if you like.)

Why does this happen?

Reason 1: Physiology. It takes about 20 minutes for your body’s satiety signals to kick in. Slow eating gives the system time to work, allowing you to better sense when you’ve had enough.

Reason 2: Psychology. When you slow down, and really try to savor your meal, you tend to feel satisfied with less, and feel less “deprived.”

Rachel Levy: Facing fear and anxiety.

Rachel Levy’s initial reaction to this challenge: “I can’t possibly eat slowly. I will die!”

As you can guess, she didn’t perish after giving it a try. In fact, she went on to be the female winner of our July 2018 transformation contest.

How’d she make it happen?

“I decided to just try. Just put one foot in front of the other, and only do what was being asked of me—eat just a little bit slower.

“I faced the fear of doing something different.”

During her first two weeks of eating slowly, Rachel had one of those “aha moments.”

“I suddenly realized that the reason I ate quickly was actually a feedback loop: I ate quickly to calm my anxiety, but eating quickly was making me anxious.”

The upshot: Discovering this connection immediately made it easy for Rachel to eat slowly.

2. Look and feel better.

Have regular bloating, cramping, or stomach pains? Many of our clients say slow eating helped solve their digestive issues.

Why does speed matter?

Because when you wolf down your food, you take larger bites and chew less.

Your stomach has a harder time mashing those big chunks of food into chyme—the sludgy mix of partially digested food, hydrochloric acid, digestive enzymes, and water that passes from your stomach into your small intestine.

When food isn’t properly broken down into chyme, it can cause indigestion and other GI problems. We may absorb fewer nutrients, depleting ourselves of valuable vitamins and minerals.

Besides making you uncomfortable (maybe even miserable), shoddy digestion can also affect your mindset.

For instance, if your meal leaves you bloated, burpy, and sluggish, you may interpret this as “feeling out of shape,” and become discouraged about your efforts. On the other hand, slowing down and digesting your food properly may help you “feel leaner.”

3. Learn what “hungry” and “full” feel like.

Ever have a meal because it’s a certain time of day, even if you’re not particularly hungry?

Or clean your plate, though you’re pretty sure you’ll regret it?

These are just a couple of ways people tune out their internal hunger and satiety cues. There are plenty more, but the point is:

Many of us eat when we’re not hungry, and keep eating when we’re full.

Slow eating can help get you right again. With regular practice, it improves your appetite awareness. You learn to recognize —and more importantly, trust—your body’s own internal signals.

Over time, this retrains you to eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. Not because some rigid meal plan demands it, but because your body (a.k.a. your new best friend) tells you so.

This is the difference between being “on a diet” and learning how to “listen to your body”… a valuable skill that allows you to make healthier choices for the rest of your life.

Voila—lasting body transformation in a way that doesn’t suck.

Nellie Long: Tackling food addiction.

Nellie was already “healthy” when she started Precision Nutrition Coaching. She went to the gym three to five times a week, ate mostly whole, unprocessed foods, and wasn’t really looking to lose weight.

There was just one problem: She struggled with food addiction. “I needed to face the reason I was eating a pound of carrots in one sitting,” she says.

When first introduced to the habit of eating slowly, Nellie was so worried she couldn’t do it, she considered leaving the program. But instead, she accepted the challenge. And although there were setbacks—like the day she ate seven cupcakes—little by little, it started to get easier.

Now, it’s revolutionized her relationship with food. On a recent backpacking trip, Nellie’s friend brought some Fritos along. At the end of their 13-mile day, Nellie started craving those chips.

“Before, I would have pounded them down. But this time, I put one in my mouth and savored it.” She still ate the chips—slowly—but instead of feeling ashamed and overstuffed, she felt nourished and satisfied.

Big lesson for Nellie:

“I’ve learned that when I listen to my body, it tells me everything I need to be successful.”

4. Disrupt patterns that derail your progress.

If you struggle with binge eating, learning to go slow can help.

That might sound odd, since a binge is driven by an overwhelming urge to consume as much food as possible, as fast as possible. (This quality is what differentiates binge eating from run-of-the-mill overeating.)

But the skills you develop from slow eating can help you mitigate the damage, and build resilience over time.

Here’s how: When you’re in the grip of a binge, slow down as soon as you realize what’s happening.

Pause. Breathe. The food will wait for you. Even just one breath between bites will help.

You might not be able to stop eating right away, and that’s okay. How much you eat isn’t as important as getting back into a more thoughtful state of mind.

With this “binge slowly” technique, most people can regain a sense of control. And the more you practice it, the more effective it will be.

If you keep slowing down, even during your most difficult moments:

You’ll become more aware of why, where, and how you’re binging (so it won’t seem random, and eventually you can break the chain).

You’ll likely eat less and stop sooner.

You’ll feel less panicked and powerless.

You’ll be able to soothe yourself more effectively, and get back into “wise mind” faster.

In time, this’ll help normalize your eating, boost your physical and psychological health, and improve body composition (or help you maintain a healthy body composition more easily, without restriction-compensation cycles).

5. Gain a tool you can use anytime, anywhere.

We don’t always have control over what foods are available to us. But we always have control over how quickly we chew and swallow.

Think of slow eating as the low-hanging fruit of nutrition: super accessible in any situation.

It doesn’t require specialized meal plans or a food scale. No matter what’s going on in your life, or what’s on your plate, you can practice eating slowly.

Elaine Gordon: Finding a better way.

When Precision Nutrition Coaching client Elaine Gordon started the program, she already knew a lot about nutrition from years of working with coaches and researching on her own.

“I knew the ‘whats’ of eating well, but really benefited from the ‘hows’ that PN teaches,” she says.

“It’s incredible to see how your relationship with food changes when you bring attention and awareness to the process of eating.”

Thanks to her new, more mindful relationship with food, Elaine began to get the results she’d been after all those years. And after seeing how effective it was for Elaine, her husband even started eating slowly. Now they practice the habit together.

The best part? Elaine knows she has this tool at her disposal, no matter where she is or what she’s doing.

“Even if all else fails with my diet, I can always choose to eat slowly.”

How to eat slowly.

Eating slowly and mindfully is simple and effective—but not necessarily easy.

Most people have to work at it.

Thankfully, you don’t have to get it “perfect.” Shoot for “a little bit better” instead. You might be surprised at how effective this can be.

Try one of these tips. You can experiment with them for just one meal, or take on a full 30-day slow-eating challenge, if you feel up to it.

Take just one breath.

Before you eat, pause. Take one breath.

Take one bite. Then take another breath.

Take another bite. Then take another breath.

Go one bite, and one breath at a time.

That’s it.

Add just one minute.

At first, most people panic at the idea of “wasting time” on eating or having to be alone with their thoughts and the sounds of crunching for too long. Plus, life is busy and rushed. Having long leisurely meals may feel impossible.

So, start small. Add just one minute per meal. Or two, or three, if you’re feeling sassy about it.

When you start your meal, start the clock (or use an app like 20 Minute Eating to time yourself).

The game: Stretch out that meal as long as you can. Then try to make your next meal last one minute longer.

Over time, you can gradually build up how long you spend at meals.

Don’t be hard on yourself: If you forget to slow down during one meal, no biggie. Just slow down next time, and notice what happens.

And remember, even one minute better—or one breath-between-bites better—can help.

Put down the remote.

For the next level of challenge, don’t eat while you drive, watch TV, or play with your phone. Sit at a table, not on your living room couch, and for heaven’s sake, don’t eat standing over the sink. Try to relax and experience your meal.

The whole point is to pay attention to your food and body. So, over the next 30 days, do your best to eat in a calm environment with minimal distractions.

Eat foods that need to really be chewed.

Try this experiment: Eat a whole food, like an apple slice, and count how many chews it takes to swallow a mouthful. Then grab a highly processed snack, like a cracker or cookie, and count your chews.

What differences do you notice?

Which food do you think will be easier to eat slowly?

Now act accordingly.

Minimally processed lean proteins, fruits and vegetables, whole grains, beans and legumes require more effort—and time—to eat.

The more you have to chew, the longer it’ll take you to eat, giving your fullness signals a chance to catch up.

Do something between bites.

Pacing yourself is easier when you have a specific action in mind to break up mouthfuls of food.

Between bites, try:

setting down your utensils

taking a breath (or three)

taking a sip of water

asking someone at the table a question

Savor your food.

When you eat… eat. Enjoy it. Really taste it.

Is it salty? Sweet? Does it coat the roof of your mouth? What’s the texture like?

Notice these little details with each bite.

To really tap into this experience, try “wine tasting” your food. Practice chewing slowly, sniffing, and savoring your food, as if it were a fine wine.

Notice what affects your eating speed.

As you experiment, try to identify what affects your eating speed or focus.

Consider factors such as:

who you eat with

when you eat

what you eat

where you eat

Once you’ve made some observations, ask yourself:

What could you do to improve on what is already working well?

What could you change, given what isn’t working well?

Refine your practice.

Pay attention to the eating speed of those around you. Observe the slowest-eating person in the group and match their speed.

If you find yourself rushing, that’s okay. Put your utensils down and take a minute to re-focus. If slow eating isn’t habitual for you, this will take some time to master.

Embrace an experimental mindset and notice what you learn.

Remember: every meal is a chance to practice.

Phillip Wilson: Getting leaner and learning to be present.

Like many others, Phillip was skeptical about eating slowly.

“I never expected it to work. It sounded too easy,” he says.

Eating slowly was more challenging than he expected, but with practice, things started to click, and the results have been major.

“The simple act of making time to eat slowly has gotten me closer to my goals than anything I’ve ever tried,” says Phillip.

And the results aren’t just physical: Slowing down his eating helped Phillip set a more comfortable pace in other areas of his life, too.

“Not only am I leaner, but life doesn’t just pass me by anymore. I’m more aware of the moments that are right in front of me.”

I ate slowly, now what?

At the end of your 30-day slow-eating challenge, tune into what’s different.

You’re probably going to observe some changes in your body—such as how your stomach feels after a meal or how your pants fit. You may also notice mental changes, like what you think about while you’re eating, or how you react to feeling hungry or full.

Look at how much has changed in just 30 days, and imagine:

What would happen if you continued working on this habit… forever?

There’s a good reason to do just that: No matter what other habits you adopt or “next level stuff” you try, eating slowly will always enhance your efforts. And how often can you say that about anything?

But don’t just keep it to yourself: Share the 30-day slow-eating challenge with your friends, family, and co-workers. It could be exactly what they need, but never even knew to try.

Want help becoming the healthiest, fittest, strongest version of you?

Most people know that regular movement, eating well, sleep, and stress management are important for looking and feeling better. Yet they need help applying that knowledge in the context of their busy, sometimes stressful lives.

Over the past 15 years, we’ve used the Precision Nutrition Coaching method to help over 100,000 clients lose fat, get stronger, and improve their health… for the long-term… no matter what challenges they’re dealing with.

It’s also why we work with health, fitness, and wellness professionals (through our Level 1 and Level 2 Certification programs) to teach them how to coach their own clients through the same challenges.

Interested in Precision Nutrition Coaching? Join the presale list; you’ll save up to 54% and secure a spot 24 hours early.

We’ll be opening up spots in our next Precision Nutrition Coaching on Wednesday, July 17th, 2019.

If you’re interested in coaching and want to find out more, I’d encourage you to join our presale list below. Being on the list gives you two special advantages.

You’ll pay less than everyone else. At Precision Nutrition we like to reward the most interested and motivated people because they always make the best clients. Join the presale list and you’ll save up to 54% off the general public price, which is the lowest price we’ve ever offered.

You’re more likely to get a spot. To give clients the personal care and attention they deserve, we only open up the program twice a year. Last time we opened registration, we sold out within minutes. By joining the presale list you’ll get the opportunity to register 24 hours before everyone else, increasing your chances of getting in.

If you’re ready to change your body, and your life, with help from the world’s best coaches, this is your chance.

[Note: If your health and fitness are already sorted out, but you’re interested in helping others, check out our Precision Nutrition Level 1 Certification program].

The post The 30-day eating challenge that can blow your mind—and transform your body. appeared first on Precision Nutrition.

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hale-of-stiles-heart · 7 years

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sterek + “I just kissed your forehead, chill.”?

AHHHHH CHARLIE!!!! I LOVE FILLING PROMPTS FOR YOU OH MY GOSH! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT! (ALSO ON AO3!)

“I just kissed your forehead, chill,” Stiles said, rolling his eyes as he plopped down in the comfy armchair by the other end of the couch, folding his legs to set his ankle on his knee. He picked his biochemistry book up from where he had set it on the floor, resting it on his thigh as he cracked it open, flipping through the pages until he found his desired page.

But Derek could not chill. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Because Stiles had just kissed him.

Yeah, sure, Stiles had a point, he had just kissed him on the forehead, but still! It was still a kiss! Regardless of where exactly it was!

The important part was that Stiles had just kissed him! How could he be expected to chill after that? It just wasn’t feasible.

He had been ass over elbows for the hyperactive, unbelievably intelligent, too-curious-for-his-own-good teen since the first time he had met him. At least, he had been unconsciously. It had taken him a little while to realize it and once he had, he immediately launched into a vigorous campaign of self-loathing and self-denial, reminding himself at every turn why his feelings were stupid and wrong and irrefutably unrequited.

For quite some time, a few years, in fact, Derek had downright hated himself for his attraction to Stiles, having sworn off love and romance and attraction years ago, once after Paige’s untimely death and again after the fire that had claimed the lives of almost his entire family. But then Stiles had waltzed into his life, trespassing in more than one way, and tossed all of his plans to live the rest of his miserable life alone right out the window

Over years of working together, even before they were officially pack members or even friends, and regularly saving each other’s lives, the initial spark of Derek’s interest had been stoked into a slow, constantly burning fire that resided somewhere deep in his heart. Now, every time he so much as saw Stiles — or heard his voice, or received a text from even, or even just remembered something about him ― a warmth radiated through his body that felt like a ray of sunshine coursing through every fiber of his being, rushing through every vein and capillary in his body.

Derek was pretty sure he was in love with him.

He loved the way Stiles never held back with anything he did in life, thrusting himself into whatever he chose to do, whether it be researching the most recent supernatural threat, or ferreting out as much information as he could about reports of hunters, to diving headfirst into his college courses or learning how to make all sorts of healthy foods to keep his dad’s heart healthy. He loved Stiles’ razor sharp wit, never at a loss for a snappy rejoinder or sarcastic remark, in spite of whether or not it was appropriate to be making such sardonic comments, or perhaps because of it.

He loved Stiles’ selflessness, at time disturbingly willing to lay down his life for those he cared about, leaping into harm’s way more times than Derek could, or at least more than he cared to, count. He loved the way that Stiles wasn’t afraid one bit to be himself, never paying any mind to those who sought to discourage him or put him down, growing more and more confident with each and every passing day.

Hell, it was useless to list everything he loved about Stiles because he loved everything about him.

Every nuance of his facial expressions ― the way he furrowed his brows when he was concentrating, the way his lips twisted up at the corner when he smirked, the way his temple twitched when he was angry. Every behavioral quirk ― the way he dotted his i’s, the way he chewed on the drawstrings of his hoodies and the sleeves of his obnoxious flannels, the way he hummed under his breath when he did the dishes or folded his laundry.

The only problem was that he didn’t love Derek.

Derek had, quite foolishly, convinced himself that he might actually have a chance with him when Stiles had officially made the announcement that he was bisexual, but the newly out teenager had never made any indication whatsoever that he had interest in him. That had been over a year and Derek had since given up all hope that Stiles might ever harbor any romantic feelings for him, resigning himself to a life of unrequited pining, sure that Stiles would never show him any ounce of affection that wasn’t purely platonic.

And then he went and kissed Derek like it was no big deal. Granted, it was only on the forehead and he had a valid, non-romantic, strictly platonic reason to do it.

With the moon tucked away in the shadow of the earth during a late autumn lunar eclipse, Derek was just about as human as Stiles was, leaving him vulnerable to all sorts of things like regular bullets without the wolfsbane and other types of weapons. Apparently, it also meant that he was able to contract human illnesses. Like the common cold.

The entire day he had felt like complete shit. His head felt ten times bigger than usual complete with an incessantly throbbing headache that hurt so bad his whole face ached, sinus pressure squeezing down on his brain. His nose was behaving erratically, one moment insufferably runny and the next unbearably stuffy, its mercurial nature shifting so often that he eventually just gave up and started carrying a box of tissues around wherever he went in the loft, even if it was just to the bathroom.

When the curious, unexplained symptoms had not abated within a few hours, he had given Stiles a call, figuring it was best to consult one of the only two humans in the pack when dealing with an acutely human condition. Besides, Stiles was the master of research, another point in his favor when Derek was trying to decide who to call, winning out over everyone else in the two seconds it took for the alpha to pick up his phone and dial Stiles’ number from memory.

It had nothing to do with the fact that Derek wanted to hear Stiles’ voice. Nothing at all.

Barely two seconds after Derek had listed off all of his symptoms, Stiles had diagnosed him with the common cold, humming thoughtfully as he told Derek to get comfy on the couch and wait for him, volunteering to come over with some stuff. After thanking Stiles and hanging up, Derek took a seat on the couch in the main room of the loft, trying to watch some television to occupy himself until Stiles got there, but midway through a rerun of Dr. Phil his headache got much worse, making it damn near impossible to focus on anything, lying down and curling up a bit with his face buried in a couch cushion.

That was how Stiles found him when he let himself into the loft fifteen minutes later laden with heavy bags bearing the local pharmacy’s logo, a large aluminum thermos, and his bookbag, closing the heavy steel door with a wince when it slammed shut loudly. Derek whined at the sound, his head pulsating painfully as the metallic thud echoed throughout the loft, nuzzling his face deeper into the couch cushion as Stiles murmured an apology and tiptoed over to the coffee table where he set his bags down.

Laying a gentle hand on Derek’s shoulder, Stiles had very quietly asked if he could roll over onto his back, the usually stoic alpha letting out a petulant groan as he reluctantly turned over. He glared up blearily at Stiles with a childish pout on his lips, tempted to let out a growl despite his current human status, his sore throat the only thing that truly deterred him.

“How you feeling, big guy?” Stiles had asked softly, resting the back of his hand on Derek’s forehead, trying to see if he was warm or not, greeting Derek with a soft smile as he took a seat on the edge of the coffee table.

“Like shit,” Derek managed to croak out, his voice rough and gravelly as he spoke, a whine bleeding into it as he squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t really see the point in mincing words, not when he was aching all over and half wishing for the sweet embrace of death, always a little less inhibited around Stiles anyhow.

“Yeah, well, that’s what being human feels like,” Stiles quipped, twisting to fish around in one of the bags from the pharmacy, rooting around until he grabbed a hold of something, tugging his hand out to brandish a bottle of blue Gatorade and a bottle of over the counter cold medicine. He popped the lid off the bottle of medicine, plucking a couple of pills out before closing the bottle, setting the pills aside as he twisted open the bottle of Gatorade. Standing back up, he leaned over Derek and inquired, “Think you can sit up a bit?”

Derek had begrudgingly complied, gratefully sipping the sports drink Stiles lifted up to his mouth, the Gatorade moistening his chapped lips and soothing the raw feeling in his throat as Stiles supported his head with a gentle hand on the back of his neck. After drinking a good portion of the Gatorade, he obediently swallowed the pills Stiles pressed to his bottom lip, only half listening as Stiles explained the importance of staying hydrated and taking the right medication, absently running his fingers through Derek’s slightly sweaty hair.

The medicine seemed to do the trick as his headache subsided enough for him to drift into a light sleep as Stiles did some homework in the armchair, occasionally making little sounds of triumphant low in his throat when he figured out a particularly tough equation. When Derek woke up a few hours later he found that Stiles had tucked a few pillows under his head and had tossed a blanket over him, keeping him warm in the cool loft while he slept.

Derek had opened his mouth to thank him when his stomach had let out a thunderous growl, his own body cutting him off in a plea of hungry, Stiles’ head snapping up when he heard the loud grumble from the couch. With a smirk, Stiles had needlessly asked if Derek was hungry, already pushing himself to his feet to make the short walk to the kitchen, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll put some soup on.”

Derek nodded to himself, willing to eat almost anything Stiles offered him, sinking back against the fluffy pillows Stiles had grabbed from off the bed by the wall of windows, along with the blanket. It was a nice heavy wool throw that Melissa had gotten him for his birthday back in September, nice and cozy and absolutely perfect for rainy days spent reading in bed while sipping a steaming cup of tea or a glass of red wine.

He smiled at the thought, realizing that he had never truly appreciated being virtually impervious to all known diseases and illnesses before, resolving to be more appreciative of his invulnerability in the future and more sensitive to humans’ woes. Before now he had never really understood why people became so miserable when they had colds or flus, never fully comprehending the magnitude of the symptoms until he experienced them himself.

Fifteen or so minutes later, Stiles returned to the living room with a tray of hot chicken noodle soup with whole grain rice instead of pasta noodles and a sleeve of low sodium saltine crackers, a chilled water bottle in his hand. He perched on the arm of the couch by Derek’s head, so close that Derek could tilt his head to the side a few scant centimeters and touch Stiles’ hip, and set the tray up in Derek’s lap.

He twisted open the bottle of water and set it down next to Derek’s hand, waiting for him to curl his fingers around it before standing back up, socked feet thumping against the polished concrete floor as he straightened up. Stiles turned to fuss with Derek’s covers, tugging the wool blanket higher up on him until it nearly covered his chin, leaning over to peck him on the forehead, shocking Derek into freezing stock still.

“Hmm…” Stiles hummed thoughtfully, adorable upturned nose scrunching up as he scratched the back of his head, his other hand on his cocked hip. With a firm nod and a glance at Derek’s face, he surmised, “Yeah, still pretty warm―” he flicked his eyes over to the bowl of soup in front of Derek “―C’mon, dude, eat up. It’s gonna get cold.”

Derek barely heard anything he said, too busy gaping at Stiles who was already immersed in solving a problem to calculate the dopamine error signal, scribbling away in his notebook as he chewed on his bottom lip while thinking about how best to solve the equation. All Derek could think about was the fact that Stiles had just kissed him.

Stiles must have noticed his not so subtle gawking because he raised his head to look at Derek, cocking his head to the side and muttering, “Dude, what? It didn’t mean anything. I was just checking your temperature, the pharmacy was out of thermometers.”

Derek was no longer hungry. He struggled to push himself up straighter, lifting the tray off his lap and unceremoniously plopping it on the coffee table, a bit of broth from the soup sloshing over the side of the ceramic bowl to trip onto the wood table. Sluggishly, still feeling sick, Derek crossed his arms over his chest and rolled over onto his side, hiding his face from Stiles as he grumbled under his breath, “Meant something to me.”

He squeezed his eyes shut the second the words were out of his mouth, immediately regretting ever uttering them because now the cat was officially out of the bag, now Stiles knew. Eyes tightly closed, Derek pressed his face into the couch cushions, internally berating himself for being so stupid, revealing a years-long secret in one second of rash indignation.

He had to force himself not to whine aloud when he heard the creak of the recliner as Stiles stood, followed by the tattoo of his feet on the concrete floor as he walked, Derek was sure of it, to the door. Stiles was going to walk right out of the loft, and out of Derek’s life for good, because the one time Derek decided to express his emotions instead of burying them deep down inside, he ruined everything.

It hurt. Much worse than all the times he had been slashed with claws or shot full of lead or impaled with metal pipes and poles and scores of other things. Because this wasn’t just some skin and muscle deep wound. No, it was as though someone had plucked up his already bruised, undeniably fragile heart and decided to throw it onto the ground and stomp on it.

The footsteps steadily grew closer, Derek’s heart shattering more and more with every step he heard, the echo reverberating through the loft, the loft that would be forever too-empty when Stiles inevitably left. The same way it was always too-empty when Stiles wasn’t there to make it feel a little bit more like home, when Stiles wasn’t there to brighten it with his laughter and his smile, when Stiles wasn’t there to make him feel less alone.

Derek couldn’t help but flinch when Stiles took a seat on the edge of the couch by his hip, feeling the dip in the cushions as Stiles hesitantly laid a warm hand on his shoulder, goosebumps breaking out across Derek’s chilled skin. In a voice so soft it could barely be considered a whisper, Stiles tentatively murmured, “Derek? Can you turn over?―” a second of silence passed before he faintly tacked on “―Please?”

Derek didn’t want to. He didn’t want to look at him. He didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. Didn’t want to see a forced smile on his lips. Didn’t want to hear Stiles let him down easy and explain that he didn’t feel the same way but hopefully they could still be friends. He didn’t want any of it.

But he rolled over all the same. He had never been all that good at denying Stiles anything.

Derek shifted onto his back but he kept his eyes cast down, no longer caring if he looked like a sullen child or not, pretty sure he was about to get his heart irrevocably broken. It was bad enough that he would have to feel it, he didn’t want to have to watch it too.

“Y’know, Der, it’s kinda hard to kiss you at that angle. Mind sitting up a bit?” Stiles asked, a smile in his voice. Derek’s eyes snapped up to meet Stiles in shock and disbelief because there was no way that Stiles had just said that― Cocking his head to the side, Stiles reiterated his question, this time much more blunt as he inquired, “Can I kiss you, big guy?”

Derek couldn’t speak, all his attempts at formulating words resulting in him gaping up at Stiles like a fish flopping around on a riverbank, instead resorting to nodding furiously as he pushed himself up straighter, spine more vertical than a flagpole. He was fascinated by the deep red flush that had stolen to Stiles’ cheeks, so unlike the usually brash and headstrong teenager to blush, finding himself unable to look away from his endearingly blotchy face.

Derek watched, enraptured, as Stiles carefully leaned in towards him, moving a hand to the back of the couch to brace himself up as he inched closer, licking his lips as he did. Derek was riveted to the sight, fixated on the way Stiles’ plump bottom lip was suddenly glossy with a tantalizing bit of spit, which he realized didn’t sound all that tantalizing, but to him, it was more enticing that any promised land ever hailed as paradise.

When Stiles was a mere precious few inches away, his breath warm on Derek’s face and his shiny lips so close that Derek could practically taste them, something suddenly occurred to Derek, his hand shooting up to cover his mouth. Stiles, his eyes already gently closed in preparation for their long-awaited kiss, didn’t notice until his lips encountered something that clearly wasn’t a pair of lips, jerking his head back in surprise to look down at Derek questioningly.

“I’m sick,” Derek said simply, as though it was something horrible and disgusting, his eyes wide as he mumbled from behind his hand, words muffled slightly. Stiles tilted his head to the side as he explained, swallowing before pointing out, “And probably contagious.”

“Don’t worry,” Stiles instructed with a smile, leaning back in to kiss Derek. His lips gently rasped against Derek’s as he assured him, “You’re definitely worth getting sick over.”

Friends or more? Sentence Starters

#CHARLIE #I LOVE FILLING PROMPTS FOR YOU #IT VALIDATES MY WHOLE EXISTENCE #ANYWAYS #sterek #sterek fic #lunar eclipse #temporarily human derek #sick derek #pining derek #getting together #first kiss #canon divergent #hoechlbutt

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topicprinter · 7 years

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There was a post in this sub earlier today that was basically saying that if you don't have the ability to Google answers to simple questions, that you probably don't have what it takes to make it as an entrepreneur.And for the most part, I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment.However, the short reply I started to write about that quickly turned into a rant about another topic I've been pondering lately, and so I decided to give it its own post.Content Marketing is Ruining Our Ability To Learn OnlineMalcolm Gladwell is well-known for his reference of the 10,000 Hour Rule - the principle that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to master a skill - but a few years ago I realised that there were a whole bunch of these 10,000 hour masters out there who'd written pretty detailed, yet distilled, advice on how to achieve mastery in their given art, and published it online. Sometimes even in the form of a "top 5" list, this knowledge was never more than a 20 second google search away, and literally gave you master-level insight.But then something happened. Other now-well-known authors started popping up telling people that they don't need to become a master in order to teach others, that with just a little bit of study and some self-confidence, you too can act as an authority on a topic. Thus, the "10 Hour Guru" was born, and Google quickly became flooded with top 5 tips from people who maybe weren't the most qualified to determine what those top 5 tips were.And I feel that this has been exacerbated in the last 18 months or so with the rise of content marketing, where everybody is writing quick little sharable pieces in the hope of catching attention, to the point where it's actually become really difficult to find quality learning material online.For example, if you were to go on Google right now and type in "how to launch a youtube channel" or similar topics ("Youtube tips", "Youtube strategy", etc.), you'll find pages like this:How to Start a Youtube Channel (Entrepreneur.com), which is literally a guide on how to follow the fucking setup steps for registering a Google account and creating a channel on Youtube. Super not helpful7 Ways to make your Youtube Channel Really Successful - which contains ever-helpful advice like "be positive" and "be unique and original"How to Launch And Grow a Youtube Channel in 14 days (Hootsuite). This one is actually slightly more helpful, and contains some links to topics you can read more on, but ultimately comes down to giving superficial advice like "post good videos" followed by "use Hootsuite" at the endAs well as a whole host of other people trying to sell you ebooks and online courses, or to sign you up to their e-mail drip marketing campaign (that will later try and sell you an ebook or online course)Can you imagine if recipes were shared online like that?A Content Marketer's Guide to Making an Apple PieStep 1: Have confidence in yourself - confidence is key to really nailing that apple pie!Step 2: Your pie must contain apples - An apple pie isn't an apple pie without apples (the Entrepreneur.com step)Step 3: Choose a crust that aligns with your ethos. Some people like butter, other people like to use shortening. There's no right answer, but we can't give you pros/cons or even an opinion!Step 4: Make sure the oven is the "right" temperature - too hot and you could burn your pie. Nobody likes burnt pie!Step 5: If you mess it up, you can always buy a pie! Walmart has a great range of pies that can ship to you in under an hour!PS: For more great tips on how to make pie, enter your e-mail address to get our free apple pie baking ebook!PPS: Don't forget to join our masterbaker piemaker course, 50% off if you subscribe in the next 22 seconds!Even the purportedly good content creators are creating very SEO-driven content, which means creating individually packaged pieces of content that answer frequently searched-for questions, but that don't actually give you a broader learning structure to put it all under. The example I would give here is Video Creators on YouTube, who actually seem to know their stuff, but damned if I can find a structure or starting place to any of it.What's more, this approach surely results in a ton of duplicated content (albeit repackaged slightly). Eg:How to Rank YouTube Videos for a Broader TopicThe Best Way to Rank Videos #1 in SearchThe #1 Best Thing You Can Do for your Video SEOThis playlist of 20 videos about SEO on YoutubeAnd as frustrating as I find it that they don't just have a single, comprehensive video about SEO on YouTube, I completely understand why they're doing it: Because that's how the game is won in 2017. The reason content marketing is what it is, is because people are rewarded for behaving this way... and essentially punished if they don't.Google rewards them by ranking their endless streams of content across their multitude of keywords. The numpties that upvote posts reward them. The people who fork over their e-mail addresses reward them (or worse yet, the people who pay for ebooks and courses reward them).This problem is systemic.So what's the solution?Honestly, I don't know that there is one - at least not one that I can see.I mean, these stand out to me:1. Encourage masters to create more content. The issue is that when they're at the peak of their game, they're out there doing, not teaching. This is why the 'teachers' in Entrepreneur Land are often criticized as making their money from teaching people how to make money. Not to mention that there's a bit of fear involved in "sharing the secret recipe", even though history will show us that having a perfect recipe and being able to bake a perfect pie are two completely different things).2. Discourage useless posts. Unfortunately, there are a shit ton of people who get super duper inspired when they read things like "be authentic" as a critical step in apple pie making. Heck, we see it in this sub all the time - people upvoting and writing how inspired they were when someone gives bad advice in useless posts in the sub - if we're lucky some people chip in with why that advice is bad and the author deletes their post. Even /u/garyvaynerchuk, who was previously well-known for freely giving in-depth strategic knowledge, has recently discussed that he's using motivational content as a gateway to access a larger fanbase.3. Better curation. I think this is one of the reasons that Product Hunt became so popular initially. It wasn't just a great way to see the latest apps/products being introduced to the market, it was also a curated list in the beginning, with a select number of people able to even submit projects in the first place. It's also why sites like Startup Stash have become so immensely popular. (Note that Startup Stash isn't just a list of the "top 5 apps" in multiple categories, it is an actual definitive list, according to /u/BRVM, of every app that will be useful to you in those categories.). Don't just subscribe to services that automatically populate your twitter/social feeds.4. Ask people who've done it before for advice. Welcome to the callback! Granted, I think the main reason that people post asking for advice on simple topics is that they are too lazy to take the time to research it themselves, but I also think it's sometimes hard to find a starting place. That's why I posted the other day in /r/newtubers looking for a good guide that breaks down youtube strategy.A Call To Action: Let's Create Better ContentIt's always good to end a post with a nice call to action, and I think at the end of the day what it really comes down to is that it is our responsibility as entrepreneurs to create better content, to help each other grow our businesses rather than trying to profit from each other all the time.If you're sitting out there, and you have knowledge of how to grow a pinterest account, how to grow a youtube account, a facebook account, how to copywrite, run a Kickstarter, etc., then create teachable content that goes beyond a sharable/rankable fluff piece, or even a single pillar article. Take a look at sites like how the landing page course used to be (before they threw an e-mail capture in front of it), and look at how you yourself can contribute to creating perennial, definitive content that others can learn from, that becomes the #1 piece of content anyone anywhere will recommend when people ask , "Does anyone know how to grow a youtube channel?".And I'm not excusing myself from this. I've already started to assemble the piece meal posts and comments I've made here for my experiments with @yahtzeedog and @fuddlemuckers and others into a single definitive guide to Instagram, and you can be sure I'll do it with YouTube once I figure that one out. If anyone wants to help build any of these, feel free to drop a comment/DM and let's get started.And the thing is... I think if we actually assemble this information, that it could potentially serve as the greatest content marketing of all.Thanks for listening to my rant :DPS: Here's my Grandma Ferguson's REAL Apple Pie Recipe. All the steps.

#/r/entrepreneur #reddit

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regrettablewritings · 7 years

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So . . . I need to say some stuff

As anyone who knows me or has held certain kinds of conversations with me could tell you that I am the absolute worst at confrontation. Even if it’s in regards to something more positive. However, as this post is about something rather negative, it will be harder for me to express exactly what I mean without feeling like I’m coming off as an ungrateful or bitchy. However, as this is an apparent concern for many content creators on this site, I don’t think it’s fair to assume I am.

Please allow me to word-vomit an explanation:

Communication aka I’m a Talking Human Being:

Before I started this blog, I had a tendency to send headcanons and AUs to other blogs through anon. In fact, I still do this quite often, and usually to great effect both on the blog-runner’s part and their followers. One day, I got brave enough to submit a soulmate AU drabble set to a Tumblr user who is no longer on this site and a few people asked for more so, after speaking with said Tumblr user, I was encouraged to start Regrettablewritings. Now in my bio, I refer to this place as a “dumping ground” for my pieces. That isn’t just there out of self-deprecation: This was literally just meant to be a place where I put my stuff. All the ideas I had, the headcanons, the one-shots, etc. I never once indicated that this was a place that took requests.

But I should’ve known it’d happen and for that I will take responsibility for not suggesting otherwise. I was never truly set on the idea of doing requests at all because I’ve seen the stuff that people send in by the droves and there was no way I would be able to keep up or provide what was desired and at top quality. However, I feared that completely avoiding or turning down the ones that inevitably came in would result in issues. Blame my paranoia.

I’m still not entirely sure as to what to do with the requests I get. Some, I will admit, I do fulfill. But for the most part, I don’t always feel up to it. Especially considering that I have, by no exaggeration, nearly 20 ideas already stockpiled. Of these pieces, some have been in the works since I started this blog and I’m always trying to figure out which ones to focus on the most so I go, “Hey, I got this, this, and that. Which ones do you wanna see?” And you know what I always get? Nothing. Nobody says what they want from the list. So I sigh, delete the post after having it up for a week, and do whatever I can when the motivation hits me.

Not long after, however, I start getting entirely different requests. Always. I know it’s not intended, but the idea I can’t help but get is that my original content isn’t exactly what anyone is looking for no matter how much work I’m determined to put into it.

I reblog ask memes because maybe if I prove that I’m human behind the screen or showcase that “witty personality” my real life friends keep talking about, maybe it’ll prove that I’m approachable. If I’m lucky one person will message me and I have to stop myself from begging them to please ask more, lest I look desperate.

So then I figured if I reached out to the nearly 400 followers I currently have and tried to connect with them, then maybe there’d be more luck in the realm of communication. But when I tried Sleepover Saturday, only two people “showed up.” And they weren’t even the people who liked the post where I asked if anyone would do it, or the people who told me to go on ahead and do it. So that was the end of that.

For months, I’ve debating bringing up this issue. I didn’t want to look like a snooty bitch, but I also wanted to express how I felt about the situation. I may write to express myself, but I also write and in the way I do to entertain. In real life, I am very cynical and bitter and a bit of a crybaby with a bottled up temper. But the truth of the matter is, I love making people laugh and feel better. The world is already so full of shit; I just want to put a little goodness into somebody else’s day, even if it’s a weirdass fic about everyone’s favorite Cuban lawyer having a past as an adult dancer or whatever. So when it feels like I’m only needed when you want something, and then shelved until then, it doesn’t make me feel good. It makes me feel like the ideas I want to give you aren’t good enough. I know the notes may suggest otherwise, but we’re gonna put a pin in that for a quick second.

The feeling of discouragement often effects my willingness to write. I’ll still do it because, in truth, writing is one of the only things I can do reasonably well. But what’s the point in doing something well if you feel like you’re being taken for granted for it?

I ask you guys for your opinions and feelings on things because I genuinely need to know. I function by playing around with options. Any friend of mine, in real life or online, will tell you that if I’m working on a project (be it painting, fanfiction, or essay), I will throw my ideas out there or ask you for your thoughts on the matter. For fuck’s sake, I’ve heckled @xemopeachx and @ohbelieveyoume about cologne suggestions for one sentence in a piece I’ve been working on! That is how thorough I tend to be about the weirdest shit. But I also do it because I feel you guys deserve that kind of effort. I need a lot of things explained to me in depth to know how they work, so I make it an effort to use that as a means to help others see exactly what I do. I’m already hard to comprehend in real life. Please don’t let me think this effort is for nothing.

Summary: I work hard to give content but never hear anything back in terms of what you would like to see next. But when this happens, it’s like I’m posting from the void and nobody can see it. However, suddenly people are willing to fall into the void if only to make a request. I try to reach out and be more friendly, but even those are disregarded. I don’t know what to do.

Notes: Regarding Likes, Reblogs, and Messaging:

This is something that a lot of content creators talk about. If you’ve seen a post about always reblogging art, chances are you’ve seen a comment saying something like, “Same goes for fanfic writers.” This isn’t riding on coattails or anything, this is some real mess. And, on top of that, there’s an extended difference between art feedback and writing feedback. Because with artists, exposure for them can lead to commissions. Writers? We do this for free. However, this doesn’t make feedback any less deserving.

I’m not trying to complain here, but nobody writes 7-21 pages worth of content to get 100+ notes where only about 12 of them are reblogs. Now I, as well as many others, will give leeway: There is a definite stigma against people who read fanfiction and they may not want it on their blog. I get that. A lot of writers do. But when the reblog to total note ratio is 12/115, 14/192, and 13/207, things get . . . disheartening.

Because guys? Writing is HARD. I know you may see this statement all the time, but that's only because it's true: You have to remember all these words so you don't sound repetitive, you have to paint a clear enough picture without sound prose-y, you have to somehow translate exactly what the image in your head is and pray you don't lose people along the way, you have to SOMEHOW get from Point A to Point C when Point B is either exceedingly blurry or even nonexistent. And, perhaps the hardest of all, YOU HAVE TO BE MOTIVATED! It takes so much energy and focus just to write one page, especially if you have a hectic life going on beyond the screen. And guess what? A lot of, if not, all writers do!

For example: For the first two and a half months of running this blog, I wrote on my phone for most of the time because I didn't have a laptop and the only times I could use the computer lab in my dorm was when others were done with their work. (To gain a better idea of how vexing this can be, please note that A Practice in Happy Memories was written on my phone and that bitch is 6 pages in Word. Try doing that and see how tired of it you get.) And I’m one of the lucky ones: You’ve got people going through some rough stuff in their lives, people raising families while holding down a job, coming on this hell site to write and share their thoughts and ideas. I’m just some 22 year-old black chick with seasonal depression and increasingly crippling social anxiety and an aggressively negative view of the world!

Forgive me for sounding cocky, but I would like to think I deserve better than, like, 8 reblogs on a 60-noted something I literally tapped to life in-between homework and depression naps. Really, though, every writer who’s had to do this deserves better. The amount of talented writers who bust out quality content in spite of broken technology or, you know, having a life outside of the computer yet don’t get treated with utmost appreciation is unreal.

I’m not trying to shame people here, but if you can’t reblog, then reply. Or send a message. Even if it’s on anonymous. Trust me: You message a writer saying you love their crap, you will make their day and they will treasure that thing and look back on it when they feel like crap. For those of you that do reblog, please tag it. It literally only takes a few seconds. As @locke-writes put it in his own post about similar issues, writers really want/need to know what you thought. A like is equivalent to a quick nod and distant pat on the back. A reblog without a tag is a bit better, but still doesn’t get across exactly how you felt, what we did right, etc. A reblog with comments, even in the tags? Makes our fucking day!

Likes? They’re literally just the person who walks by your free sample booth, takes the sample, and doesn’t even acknowledge your existence.

I know I should feel grateful that I have as many notes as I do at all. However, a ridiculous amount tend to come from people who 1) don’t even follow me, and 2) they’re just likes. I have nearly 400 followers already and the same small handful only ever add into the notes. And even fewer actually comment or anything.

This is a common issue for a lot of writers: We just want to be seen as more than just story-making machines. We desire validation for the time and acknowledgement for the effort we put into something we feel we’re skilled at. But a lot of people may feel uncomfortable talking about it in fear of seeming ungrateful or anything but this feeling just drives them closer to wanting to quit writing altogether.

I’m not quitting Tumblr. At least, not anytime soon. But I still need you guys to know this because it’s been boiling up inside me and it’s driving me nuts. Anyway, I’m sorry if I came off as bitchy here as that wasn’t my intention. My intention was to give you a look into some part of the mind that a lot of writers have. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Summary: Reblogs > Likes. Reblogs with comments and tags ∞ > Likes. And if you can’t reblog, reply or send a message. Your content creator worked to make that piece come to fruition and they deserve to know how they did. They’re not being paid for it despite the amount of time and energy they gave for it, so payment in the form of feedback is the least that they could be given.

In short: Appreciate your fanfic writers. Let them know what you think because every little compliment sticks with them.

#long post #rant #appreciate your writers #fanfic writer problems #i just needed to say this #word vomit

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panreivonreyes · 7 years

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Hi! I'm sorry if this is an inappropriate question, but you're someone who I look up to and I'd like your input. I've been learning about autism and how it presents itself in women and I think I might be on the spectrum. In your opinion what are the benefits of being professionally evaluated? I think it might help me feel more ok with who I am, but I'm also afraid that it could cause a lot of stress because of the stories I've read about professionals who don't think adult women can be autistic.

First off, not inappropriate at all! I’m always open to talking about this kind of stuff, especially if there’s a chance that sharing my experiences can help other people! Also, thank you very much for your kind words, It means a lot to me, truly.

This is going to be on the long side, so under a cut it goes!

I’ll start off with a disclaimer that my situation was a bit different from yours, and so there will be things that applied to my situation and not to yours, and vice versa, but I’ll do my best to give you as complete an overview as I can, and one that will hopefully be useful to other people in similar situations who might stumble across this?

First off, the big thing, as you mentioned, is the impact on how you feel about yourself. For me, it was interesting because neither me or my parents had ever considered the possibility I might be autistic until we were sat down by the team at the outpatient mental health centre I was attending at the time, who told us that they suspected I might be autistic, and gave us some reading material to look at, along with some assessments I’d done for them, and we all sat there and went through it and then they asked us if we thought they were right.

So, for me, the diagnosis was unexpected, and came with a lot of information that made a lot of my life experiences suddenly make a lot more sense in hindsight. You probably already have all that, now that you have a tentative self-diagnosis. Things you used to blame yourself for might be feeling less like your fault, and you might be starting to gain a clearer understanding of why some things played out the way they did. This is a really great and valuable thing, and can be incredibly helpful in learning to be kinder to yourself.

From that perspective, the value of a professional diagnosis really lies in the confirmation and validation of what you already know. It makes it harder for you to doubt yourself, because it’s proof that someone else sees it too, that you didn’t make it up, that you’re not just making excuses for yourself. If you’re someone who doesn’t tend to struggle with those kinds of thoughts, you won’t get as much value from that, but I know for myself, having a professional diagnosis has been excellent evidence to present to myself any time I get a bit imposter syndrome-y about it.

On a related note, it can also serve a similar purpose with any family or friends you might want to share this information about yourself with. Some people (like my dad, for example), really struggle to accept this kind of information unless it’s been ‘verified’ by a ‘professional’. A professional diagnosis can in that way be a helpful tool for gaining better support and understanding from the people around you. Having your difficulties accepted as valid by the people around you can really make such a difference to your day to day life.

Another big thing, of course, is that if you’re currently in (or were ever to return to) education, a professional diagnosis can make it so much easier to access supports and accommodations from your educational institution. It may even be able to help you get into the course you want, as depending on where you live and where you want to study, there may be a disability access track (eg: Ireland’s DARE program) or other scheme to even out the playing field.

Depending on local laws, a professional diagnosis may be able to give you certain workplace protections, such as providing an entitlement to accommodations, or protection from harassment and unfair dismissal.

Depending on your location and personal situation, a professional diagnosis can make it possible to get government assistance (without it I wouldn’t have my weekly Disability Allowance payments, or my Free Travel Pass, or Medical Card. Without those, I’d have no chance at all of moving out of my parents’ house. With them, it’s within the realm of possibility).

So, as you can see, there’s a lot to potentially gain, depending on your particular circumstances. There are, however, also some potential downsides.

These are all very location dependent, and most of these examples are probably from America, but it will hopefully give you some ideas of things you might want to research local laws on, to see how they might affect you.

Privacy. If you have a diagnosis, you may be required to share that information with people whether you want to or not (eg: employers)

If you ever wanted to move to another country, it is possible they might use your diagnosis as grounds to refuse to grant you a visa (the only example that comes to mind is a case where a family was refused a Canadian visa because their autistic child was judged to be too big a drain on Canadian resources, but it’s worth mentioning.)

In the US, many disabled people are subject to a significantly lower minimum wage than the general population. I don’t know a whole lot about the details, but you may want to look into this if you think it could affect you.

Given the current uncertain situation regarding healthcare in the US, you may want to consider that Trumpcare proposals listed autism as a pre-existing condition, and therefore a professional diagnosis could affect the availability and price of health insurance.

If you’ve ever considered fostering or adopting children in the future, you may want to check if an autism diagnosis could interfere with those plans.

I know that probably feels like a lot of stuff to research and consider and weigh up, so please, take your time with it, be gentle with yourself, there’s no rush.

If, after all that, you’re leaning towards a professional evaluation, here’s some things you might want to consider.

It is possible that the evaluation experience might be stressful or unpleasant. (It might not be. Mine wasn’t at all, though, as I mentioned, I wasn’t aware I was being evaluated for anything in particular at the time). For more details about that, you might want to check out the posts linked here. It includes a bunch of autistic people talking about their experiences being tested, particularly what parts they found stressful or difficult and why, some tips on ways to reframe the experience to help make it less stressful or unpleasant, and some commentary I wrote about the potentially triggering aspects of the report that will be produced, intended to help people decide if they want to read their own report, and to prepare them for what they might find if they do so. If you’re not familiar with that blog, you might like to read through more of their posts. They have some really great content and discussions on a variety of topics, a very inclusive and non-presumptuous attitude, and everything is very comprehensively tagged. It’s a fantastic resource.

You are absolutely right that many doctors who deal with autism are...shall we say “less than open-minded”? I have dealt with such doctors in the past, and it is absolutely a very stressful and frustrating experience. In such situations, I believe it is best to know exactly what you want from them, stay focused on that, come prepared with any materials or research you have that may support your case, and stand your ground for as long as you can bear to. If it gets to be too much, move on and find another doctor. It may be frustrating, it may be exhausting, it may be disheartening, but if you truly believe you are autistic, and you truly believe you want a professional diagnosis, then I urge you to not let some ignorant asshole doctors stand in your way. Try to remember that you will not have to deal with them forever, that this is a temporary situation, that you’re just using them to get a diagnosis and as soon as you have that you can walk away and never have to deal with them again! It may be painful in the short term, but that won’t last forever, and if you’ve decided that the benefits of a professional diagnosis are worth having, then you’ll be benefiting from those for the entire rest of your life, and you deserve to have that!

Looking back over this, at times it may sound like I’m trying to discourage you from getting a professional evaluation. To be clear, I’m not. In my personal experience, having an official diagnosis has been very helpful, both in personal/mental/emotional terms and in practical ones, and I very much believe that people should have one, if it is at all possible and isn’t likely to result in negative consequences. I just want to do my best to provide you with as much potentially relevant information as possible, so that you have the ability to make an informed decision about what’s right for you.

Whatever you choose, I hope it works out well for you, and thank you for trusting me with this and giving me the opportunity to try and help! Hopefully this was helpful and not too overwhelming, and if you’ve any more questions or anything, you are absolutely welcome to send them to me!

#actuallyautistic #asd stuff #asks #anonymous #tumblr please do not fuck up publishing this i spent too much time on it for you to lose it #anon

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jsalim-art · 7 years

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Something to get out my chest

I’m probably going to delete this later and I just need to get this out my chest because I have been bottling it up for a long while and if I do blurt it to said certain family members I know I would regret saying what I said. Although talking to the void is probably not a good idea but seems a better place to vent than exploding in rage by venting my frustrations in real life and I have nothing to lose just saying this here. I'd be doing vent art to express this but it seems I don't have the energy to do ambitious works (well at least I have a bit of energy to do little doodles) anyways where shall I start? I might ramble off topic here and there so bare with me. And this is gonna be long.....

I love to draw and write the characters and worlds I create in my world and the only person who knows what are in these worlds and these characters is myself and well someone has to make them. I have been drawing since I can remember holding a pencil. My mind back then and now is always filled to the brim with ideas and concepts I'm dying to put on paper. Most of these works are unfinished and the only finished work I have to offer was a shameless self-insert fanfiction but that is another story. The earliest I can remember is at 10-11 I made my own fantasy and all over the place story and mind you it sucks but it was the forerunner of all my original stories that influenced my work now. I like all artists have our beginnings somewhere and well that is where I started my road into creating stories and art for the worlds I create.

This is what makes me happy or my happy place. I'd be content to spend my days working on my stories and art. During my teen years onwards I basically did that obviously while balancing school, social life (or my lack of it), and family life. It was great, and although I had difficulty balancing that when I first got to college I still managed. Then things changed, family stuff added along with stressing over course work really did a number on me emotionally and maybe mentally, well whatever it was it was the result of me failing a semester and having to redo it twice before I can finally move on to my final semester. Despite what I have gone through I was ecstatic I finally graduated completing my Independent Illustration diploma in college that was late 2013 to early 2014 when that happened.

You’d think I’d work out something like build a better portfolio so I can network myself or take up my learning to the next level but nope I was an idiot back then and still feel like it now because of my choices. Instead, I was scared what my future holds out for me I feel like now that I finished this stage of my learning that the sky’s the limit that I can do anything my heart desires and nothing can stop that. Then I forgot I have obligations to my family, I still live with them and I have no shame in that (after all life is difficult living on your own in these times now especially) also, for now, that is the only choice I have.

So after graduation, my family finally got the okay from the government to get our Canadian citizenships which was about damn time considering we stayed in this country as immigrants for like almost a decade and other than me graduating art school, I get to finally get my citizenship. After our ceremony, my dad announced for a bullshit reason that he is taking me, my sister, my mom, and niece to Dubai because my mom has to sign some important paper (spoiler alert there is no paper signed at all and it was all a lie my father gave us to come). So what did I do instead of working on a portfolio or something? I spent all of 2014 being anxious, I was not proud of what I choose to do instead of doing the smart thing.

I basically accepted my fate this is what's going to happen. I literally left Canada on New Year’s Eve and spent the first 3 months of 2015 away from home. A huge chunk of my “vacation” was spent in Kuwait, trapped in a hotel with my mom, sister, and niece. It was a nightmare and I never want that to happen again I did get to go places but 90% I was stuck in that damned hotel (why we were in there is a personal reason I will not disclose). The only thing that is good with this trip is my week in Thailand with my family and although I got sick there I enjoyed this part of the vacation a lot more than being trapped in a hotel in Kuwait. I did manage to do some of my art at least during these 3 months but was not a lot like I hoped for.

But ever since that trip I guess it kinda changed me a bit. I don’t consider myself a positive person heck I’m mostly negative I at least try to be optimistic. Now I just accept that my life is probably not going to be what I hope it will be. And I get it life happens and the plans you make for yourself do not always go the way you want and sometimes it is a good thing cause it may be a better path to some or not to others. I should know I went from being an illustration student to a NEET (Not in Education, Employment or Training) to a Liberal Arts Student so yes life works in mysterious ways.

Liberal Arts was a different territory to art courses considering its essays, readings, tests, quizzes, etc it was hard I must say I spent half my time crying over my homework and lamenting if I failed or not (although that seems to have worked wonders into getting passing grades and up). But I enjoy these classes and I do want to open my horizons to learning and hey maybe find some inspiration along the way. I already finished my second semester and currently waiting with anticipation for my final grades so wish me luck I survived the semester with passing colors. I also thought I can go back to balancing my school work and my art like I always had done. Then I forgot I have family obligations/contributions I must do. Not that I do not mind but these drain up my mental energy and by the time I am not needed I just can’t really bring myself to pick up a pencil and draw. Whatever I have time left before I sleep is stare at youtube videos and reblogging stuff online because that's how mentally tired and worthless I feel.

When I finally do have the time to actually pick up a pencil and draw 70% of the time I choose to procrastinate because I believe I’ll just be called over by the family for certain responsibilities and I’ll never get the peace and quiet I need to just do what I love and am passionate about. It's always the same cycle ever since then. I just hope there will be that window of opportunity where I have all the time I needed to just draw and maybe write and that one opportunity I had was taken away from me. Well, it won’t be for forever cause there will be more opportunities for me to actually get my lazy ass to draw maybe write. It's just that I am sick and tired of having my time taken away from me and I am mad at myself for being a doormat. But I’m just scared of feeling that I am selfish for wanting that and maybe it’s time I stop that and it will be hard for me to get over. I coped with this by blaming my problems on my family saying its their fault they did this to me (it is obviously not true but it's a way I made myself feel better and denying that this is mostly my doing) I now know it's futile projecting this because in the end, I myself have to make time for myself to do the things I am passionate about. I’ve grown quite resentful and I don’t want to become this bitter person in the future who felt like her life got wasted because she made herself a doormat to please her family or scared of her future. I envy you artists out there who have all the time in the world to make creative original (as well as fan work) content without having to deal with the roadblocks in life and being in charge of your lives. I just want to say that you have to cherish the time you make for yourself to be creative you never know what will happen and before you know it *poof* you hardly have the time. Don’t ever take it for granted like I have.

Art means a lot to me and I feel like I disappointed myself and I feel like I don’t deserve to hang my illustration diploma because I fee like an imposter and felt like I wasted my years being scared of my future so much so that I got to the point where I feel I went to the point of no return. It makes me feel like maybe I should just give up on art and forget about all those worlds and characters I created like whats the use of being creative when life got you by the ankles and refused to let go. As much as I am in such a negative state of mind refuse to outright throw away everything I hold dear and give in the mediocracy of life dragging me away. I don’t want to be discouraged ever again, I want to be sure that this time this is what I want to do with my life whether I go to study graphic design, or go big with my art or even have a typical 9-5 job but still able to find the time to do art and/or write. This is my life and maybe right now the time for doing what I love is not in my future at the moment but its still going to be there for me when I come back.

And I just want to say and I know I do not need to apologize to my followers I’m sorry if you followed me for the art and hardly or never got any content since following me. As much as I would love to post as much of my originally content as possible well I have to deal with life and responsibilities some of that said responsibilities isn’t so supposed to be mine in the first place. I thank you to those who stuck by if anything I’ll try my best to make more content when that window of opportunity opens for me and you’ll bet your ass it will be a tidal wave of stuff.

But like I said life is strange sometimes, and I’m not about to give up just yet.

- signed a former illustration student trying to find her way

#personal #jehan speaks #jehan vents #confession #venting #artist problems I guess mixed in with life problems #I honestly feel better now I got this out of my system #I'll probably start bottling my emotions again after this but at least I'm starting at a blank slate #tldr: life kinda sucks for me atm but I am trying my damndest to get where I needed to be #so sit tight

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cervamater · 7 years

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Bad health & good intentions

I was in a bad mood, so I wrote ShibiYosh. This is usually what I do whenever I feel down or underappreciated because writing my crack OTP based on long-forgotten characters really has a soothing effect on my nerves. Based on this ask. Songs I got inspired by while writing are this (a playlist orz) and this one.

She wondered if he was really still enjoying stroking her hair or if it had become more of a mechanical gesture he couldn’t help doing not to seem weird. Her eyes were closed, but she was not relaxed, she was just trying to feel better and not only phisically. That was a day of pain and none of them could help it. Her pills had worked zero magic on that New Year’s Eve and she was just left restless and suffering for a good amount of the morning. That same morning he grew worried when he made his usual route among loved ones’ graves and didn’t find her leaning some flowers on her husband’s tombstone, or her aunt’s, or her childhood friend’s he couldn’t recall the name of. He knew something had to be off, if Yoshino skipped her daily rituals, given just how much of a creature of habit she was, so he had showed on her front door in few hours.

Gleaming from the entrance, the Aburame had noticed she was pretending so very hard to be okay: doing small housework, controlling paperwork she was told to finish in three days or so (they both had the same deadline to deliver said documents to the Hokage, but of course she had dragged it out as usual because she found the task to be ‘obnoxious as fuck’, quoting her words on the matter), writing a letter to her son. Yes, he liked observing her when she thought she was alone, a habit many people would find creepy, but he didn’t mind. Not when his absence permitted him to save her from a certain concussion, at least; he saw her stretching her arm out to reach the glass of water she had been drinking from for a while, then her hazel eyes went completely blank as she passed out. Fortunately, he was a ninja still in the best combat shape. He bolted from the place he was standing in total silence and fastened her securely in his arms. When Yoshino opened her eyes, confused from the events occurred before, she found herself to be laying on his couch, a warm blanket gently laid on her tiny frame, a glass full of fresh water on near coffee table. The paperwork she was supposed to complete sat just beside the glass, perfectly polished off in every component, the handwriting employed was even similar to hers. “You shouldn’t have done that” no, of course she wouldn’t thank him. That was so out of character. “I did it, nonetheless” was the simple answer the host gave back, he was holding a bowl full of miso soup that he carefully placed on her lap. “Sit still and eat this. Not a gourmet dish, I must confess, but it’s nourishing and you will find it helpful to recover from this momentaneous weakness.” “I’m not hungry.” “Yoshino” his voice was kept still, but she could hear his scolding. He only spoke one, single word and she was already drinking spoonful of soup, trying to ignore just how loudly her stomach was rumbling. “What time is it?” she dared to ask between sips. She was so obstinate to never look up to him she was staring at her own, pale, yellow-ish reflection. That was of course soup’s fault, but she was sure her real skin color was not so distant from that unhealthy, suffron shade. “It’s a quarter past five pm” he replied, looking at her from behind his shades. She didn’t need to be a fortuneteller to guess he was worried sick, yet he deceived it quite well in his voice tone. “I’ve slept for six hours?” the Nara was shocked and vexed. She hated wasting so much time sleeping, especially when it was due to her damned medical condition. “You needed to rest” he simply stated, controlling she had eaten all her soup. He seemed to be satisfied by the result, because he stood up with his usual poker face and took the bowl to the kitched. She laid back on the couch, still way too irritable to be doing anything else but brooding into that gloomy guilt she was feeling overall. She only meant trouble to him, constantly, and he found himself looking after her like a doting father would do with his youngest. She was a nervous wreck who didn’t know how to express gratitude or being selfless enough to make his wishes come true sometimes, a jealous, manipulative, sick, self-conscious, waspish little woman that never appreciated him enough. Stupid, dumb doe. “Drink” he ordered, then he put another blanket on top of her. “Water will help toxins out of your body and improve your general health, not to mention your dark mood.” Caught. She forced herself not to blush as she muttered some unflattering words under her breath, tips of her fingers dragging the edge of the glass closer so that she could grab it and drink to shut up his stinging mouth. They spent few minutes without saying a word, both too busy understand what the other was thinking or maybe just enjoying the general lack of sounds only the Aburame forest could grant during such a loud day as that was. Surprisingly enough, Shibi broke it: “I’ve done it in your place, I hope you won’t mind.” “The paperwork, you mean?” Yoshino offered a wave of her hand, trying to dismiss his apologies, “well, it’s not like I can whine about it? You know better than me I hate this kind of stuff.” “No, I did not mean your clan head’s duty” that wording he chose made Yoshino bit her lower lip, feeling even more embarassed for her lack of responsibility towards that task. “I meant… fulfilling your mourning obligations.” That made her snap her neck back to look at him in total perplexity. The bewildered expression resting on her feature probably discouraged him to add anything to his sibylline verdict, but he was aware she deserved to get her questions answered. Even more surprisingly than before, he spoke without looking at her: “I’ve offered flowers to your tombs. I sensed there must have been something off with you and I know for personal experience you tend to blame yourself when your health stops you from doing whatever you have resolved to do, and since Shikamaru is out of village as well I thought I could… spare you that pointless torture and inform you your loved ones’ have been cared for today as much as you have.” The warm, modest sentiment filling his tidings had a strange effect on her. Water in her eyes brimmed over and few ickle, humble teardrops went to add weight to her eyelashes, before rolling down her heated cheeks. Tangle in her throat was painful, but she couldn’t bring herself to swallow it down as she would do in any other occasion: even the smallest sound could make her burst in helpless crying and that would destroy the slim chance they had to spend a decent New Year’s Eve. Blindly, she searched up the backrest and little behind the couch to grab onto his hand. By that time, her chin was already pointing straight down. “Would you… come here with me? I think some personal attention would work wonders on my health, at this point.” And there they laid, she was playing with a button of his shirt while he on the other hand kept smoothing down her hair, his nostrils flaring up a bit when he tried to breathe in her luscious, flower-like smell. She wondered if he was really still enjoying it, but she knew he would find it offensive. Instead, as if he had not made him slave enough for that day, she whispered quietly against his neck: “I want to see fireworks.” “We still have a bit of time before midnight” Shibi murmured back, “if you allow me to carry you on my back, we have to leave only ten minutes prior to fireworks spectacle.” She clung tighter to him, her head was still buried in his chest as she shook it in denial. “I don’t want to go to the village. I want us to be alone.” The Aburame head reflected spare minutes on the matter, she felt his long fingers drumming softly on the top of her head. “I know a place… I used to go there when I was younger, when… when life became too chaotic and I needed escape. It was my refuge, somehow… it’s a bit distant from here though. If you want to assist in time to the show, we have to leave now.” She nodded. “I don’t think I can walk for much long though…” “You won’t need to do it” he assured, “I’ll carry you. It will be easier this way and it will cost us less time.”

Yoshino was smiling under the smaller hood she was wearing (a Shibi’s command for her before going outside, he gave her one of Shino’s old jacket he used when he was younger. It was impressive just how perfectly it fit her): she hadn’t felt the sensation of wind cutting her cheeks in a while. There had been times during her married life when Shikaku used to carry her on his back, mostly when she asked him to do so, but it had been so long since she had last heard the growling sound in her ears. Air was brisk and it had that distinguished scent of snow the Nara mistress had learnt to tell apart and love so very dearly. She knew her lover didn’t like sharp temperatures, either cold or hot might they have been, so she hoped he wasn’t suffering in that moment. She still couldn’t believe he was about to reveil such an important piece of his past to her and it was tingling to her, mostly in her heart zone. She could tell he cared very much for the place he would show her, being it linked to his childhood and teenage, the period of his life he was most secretive about: that made it even more special to her. “Did you think of a resolution for the next year?” she asked him, speaking closely to his ear to surpass the raging sound of the wind. “Well, it’s not so different from the one I make every year” he stated tersely, his eyes were fixed on a point at the horizon she couldn’t see yet. “Prosperity for my family, health for my loved ones, good luck for my clan, happiness for my son…” “And for you?” she asked, somewhat teasingly without even fully realizing it. “There isn’t anything you wish for yourself? Even a small thing counts.” That cracked a dry chuckle out of his coral lips. “The only small thing I wish for myself is the one that is clinging tight onto me right now. Is that what you wanted me to say?” She giggled back at him, resting her head on his shoulder. “Yeah. That is exactly what I wanted to hear.” She wasn’t lying, of course. It always made her proud and confident when people she loved made it explicit they felt the same for her: it didn’t matter she had literally stolen the words out of his mouth, she knew he meant them. He might not have been the most romantic of the men when speaking matters came to play, but he knew how to show his affection quite well. Shibi stopped all of a sudden, adjusting her weight on his back to get a better grip on her body. “Now, I need to close your eyes. No but’s and no questions, have I been clear enough?” She pouted. “Fine. But I’ll punch you as soon as you’ll let me go.” With her eyes shut, she could feel the frozen bites of the wind even better as they sunk their invisible teeth in her uncovered skin and pulled, leaving blood blossom under the thin surface covering her cheeks and her tiny nose. Reverberation of his breath in his lungs was a sweet melody she could listen to to the end of her days: a cavernous lullaby of lightly accelerated inhaling and exhaling. She questioned if there was anything she wouldn’t grow to love about him eventually. Not so probable. Without any warning, his strides stopped. Or rather, they were replaced by many minute, vertical, roebuck-like jumps. When she realized they were ascending higher in altitude, she couldn’t stop the shriek springing from the depth of her throat: she hated heights and he knew it. That was probably why he had requested her to close her eyes. “Trust me!” he tried to calm her with hyperbole, he had to stop in his tracks before they both would fall off, “I will not drop you, Yoshino.” She tried to catch back on her breath, still too nervous to actually speak a word, may it be to praise him or to attack him for his lack of common sense. Bringing an acrophobiac person up something so tall was a thing only the bravest could dare, or the craziest. She was not sure which category Shibi would be the most adapt to fall into. Few minutes later, a shaky Yoshino was sliding very slowly off her paramour’s back. Although she could feel a rock solid flooring with the tip of her shoes, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to leave his back. With a deep sigh, she was convinced to set her feet down. “Admire” he said to her, still with her eyes shut. There was a feeling she had rarely heard in him now vibrating in his voice as he spoke. “I do not think you have ever experienced a sight so extraordinaire.” As soon as she freed her vision from the black chains her eyelids meant, she was left breathless and stunned. From the higher position they were at the village enrolled under them, the brick red colour of Hokage’s Tower, the colorful buildings they had brought back to life after Pain’s attack, the silver stip of the river illuminated by the moonlight, the different shades of green that marked the separate parts of the forest -east for the Nara, north for the Akimichi, west for the Inuzuka and south for the Aburame. They were distant enough to be completely plunged into a perfect silence: there were no birds, no wild beasts disturbing their personal quietness, only two breaths synchronized to the same rythm. She couldn’t bring herself to believe he would share something so gorgeous and magic with her, but at same time she was bursting with happiness. Now, it was a secret they were both burdened to protect and he would not let him down. “Look at the sky” he slouched a little to point from behind her shoulder at a portion of the ink-black sheet resting upon their heads, filled with luminous stars. She was about to ask what could be so beautiful about the sky when they were literally towering on the village, until she was it: a golden flower blooming in a dark meadow. Firework show had started. Maybe it was the place that turned every thing into one amazing charm, but she felt like those were the most beautiful fireworks she had ever seen in her life. She didn’t remember they glowed with such brilliant colours or that their forms were so splendidly-shaped, she didn’t remember those games of gun powder could make a mess out of her emotions. She could sense him standing proudly right behind her, one large hand of his leaning on her shoulder as he enjoyed the show as well, were his lips curved into a smile? She was not bold enough to turn around and find it out. “What is this place?” she asked instead, tilting her whole body back to feel him against her clother and consequently against her skin. “I don’t know precisely” he answered, one hand went to massage her arm up and down, “according to spare research I made, this is supposed to be ancient Aburame above-ground outpost, dated back before Konoha’s foundation. My ancestors used this tower to spot their enemies before they could reach the clan.” “And now we use it to hide from gossips” Yoshino said with a huff, turning to face him. She loved the way those flamboyant lights mixed with his dark complexion, making him shine with new colors every few seconds. “I would rather say we use it to enjoy such a perfect moment on our own, without bothering with being so secretive and shying away from undesired eyes” he retorted, and yes, he was smiling. A fleeting one that was gone a moment after, but still it managed to make her heart pound faster. “You know I do not care for gossips. The only reason why I reserve my attention to when we are alone is because this would affect your public image.” She was too focused on admiring him to pursue that pointless squabble. “Thank you for being so attentive, then.” They both faced away from each other to look at the fireworks still going on. A triumph of red, white, green and gold spreading light across the sky, and the only thing she had on her mind was his handsome visage and the smirk he had worn for few instants. “I’ve told you what is my resolution for the incoming year” he won over her attention with a simple statement, she turned to hear what he wanted to tell her, “but you haven’t told me yours.” Yoshino blinked. Well, that was true. She had asked him for information, but hadn’t given any in exchange: that had probably made him rack his brain long enough if he was spitting it out now. She almost wanted to tease him on the matter, but decided that was not the case it would apply. “Well, it’s not so different from the one I make every year” she said with a smile, curling his goatee around her index finger. “Prosperity for my family, health for my loved ones, good luck for my clan, happiness for my son…” “It is fun only when I say it” he replied with a sharp tone. “But tell me… don’t you have anything you wish for yourself? Even a small thing counts.” She thought he was not playing fair, because he wasn’t looking in her eyes when he had to say she was the thing he wished for himself, but she knew that was not the real reason. She could have told it to her by staring straight into her hazel pools, it was her who had no guts when it came to verbally express feelings. Instead, she had more of a knack for action. She grabbed onto his bearded cheeks, pulling him down sweetly to kiss him. His hands rested on her hips, but that remained a chaste kiss given skin against skin. “Not so small, but this is what I wish for my new year. You are my good intention.” As he was allowed to get back at his normal height, he eyed her toughtfully, his hands still laying on her sides. “I was unaware you were capable of having good intentions” he said, tiling his head slightly to a side. “Perhaps, I just need more proof.” Yoshino looked at him for a solid minute, before deciding upon what to do. This time she didn’t gently pull, she dragged him down with her arms encircling his neck, the kiss she gave him was intense and burning with passion. He seemed to get a bit overwhelmed at first, but he was swift to adapt as he lifted her so that she could wrap her legs around him as well and finally be at the same height. Her dainty hands roamed on his chest, then up into his wild hair, their tongues dancing into each other’s mouths until she ran out of breath. She was still convalescent after all, and indeed she rested her forehead against his. “Was it enough of a proof?” she asked, wheezing, holding tighter around his neck not to fall off. “I consider myself satisfied” he smugly stated. He stole a feather-light kiss, before looking back at the sky. Fireworks were over. “We shall head back home, shall we not?” he whispered to Yoshino, who was already finding the comfiest position to nap on her lover’s body. “You are going to catch a cold, it’s freezing here.” “Shibi, you know I love you, don’t you?” She could feel the shock crossing his limbs as he was left frozen still by her sudden declaration. That was the first time she openly admitted her love to him and that was of course something that anyone else would take as a big deal, but not her: it wasn’t a big deal. Working up the nerve to state something which was already pretty obvious only made her feel even more stupid than how she already felt on a daily basis; and he was aware. “Of course I do” he replied, fixing her better in his arms as he prepared to challenge the tower in their way down, “you do not jump into the nothingness with anyone around, do you?” That made her giggle. “No, I don’t. Fortunately enough.”

#writings #( you put honey on my lips ; that was the one true medicine ) SHIBIYOSH.#v; the insect and the snowdrop. (SHIBIYOSH)#it's very late please forgive my english #long post

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insanetwocubes · 4 years

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So.... every lyke little bit of... viral piece of information. You need to take into account how it makes people feel (by understanding how if makes you feel).

If the feeling necessitates a certain course of action, you need to provide lyke a suggested call to action that you think will work decided on research and facts.

If it provides a necessity for inaction (there is no war in ba sing se) you need to look into that and evaluate if that is progressive.

Uhm one thing though.

If you always have a call to action isn't that like a perpetual feeling of things not being good enough?

Maybe the course of action can be something like praise and encouragment to continue positive action. Maybe it can be an important piece of study to find out how to recreate the course of action.

And could just be asking the course of action to just listen and feel empathy or gain more information on the world. But you have to vet that information so you know it is accurate. And add more sources for people to find more info on the subject.

Uhm. Either way, I'm not gonna lie, it's manipulating people. But if a lack of regulation is gonna lead to fascism, I think this is a sign something needs to be done.

Not that a central source of regulation is necessary. I think moving to a decentralized form of self-regulation is the future. Since more and more problems, especially mental health problems are best solved on a case by case basis.

Also maybe if we have a higher contrast of what helpful posts look like versus unhelpful posts, we can train people to better instinctually know what kind of info to trust.

This is obviously one of those unhelpful posts lmao. Everything on this blog is. This is a mental health blog. It's not for the public, it's for feelings, not fact or action.

So important things to keep in mind. Accuracy to reality, what is progressive for humans to believe, and the call to action whether it's to support something or learn something.

Something I read in an article likened the ability to publish on social media to being a proffessional news publisher. If you post and even reblog on tumblr or retweet on twitter, you are ethically resposible for the effect your posts and reblogs have on your followers. It is your responsibility if you mislead or are not transparent about the purpose of your blog.

Well okay. You are way past overthinking this and making it all the way undoable. What are the minimal steps here?

The minimal steps start with regulating yourself before you try to change the world. If you see something that makes you feel any type of emotion strong enough to reblog, notice your feeling and remember that this is the feeling you are passing on to your followers. If the feeling makes it harder for you to move on you need to provide a course of action to mitigate that negative effect. You either find a solution or a plausible source for a solution. Either to the problem that the article is about or how to resolve your emotions should someone else share your reaction. If the emotion helps you move on with your day or even encourages you, your suggested course of action is to spread the word by reblogging the post. Reblogging the post is an already implied suggestion through the platform so you don't have to add anything other than reblogging it yourself.

This applies to tools and posts that are already informative. Be careful when it comes to good news, though. Some of it is normalizing bad situations and discourages action. Things like "Teachers donate their holidays so dad can be with his sick daughter" is actually bad news about how the dad would've lost his job if he took off to visit his sick daughter without the other teachers helping. That's just one example. Some More News did an episode on it.

Cute animals doing cute things doesn't fall under this category so the call to action there is to just share the good feelings. I hope this makes sense.

Works of art and fiction is obviously fair play for mindlessness. The only course of action there is to continue to be entertained and maybe if inspiration does hit you, take advantage of that energy to create something yourself. Same goes for stim videos and other things that calm you down that are not lyke news about the world y'know. If something you see in fiction makes you mad or feel negatively, that's lyke a start to a whole new article. I mean I guess you can do research into how to resolve your feelings but I would leave that as strictly optional since the effect of fiction is usually to entertain you first, which is a positive feeling and any other feelings are secondary.

But if a work of fiction makes you re evaluate the world, this is the time to make your own post and share your research if you think it will make the world better suited for you.

Speaking of personal experiences and personal posts. This is where things get hairy. It is very important to share your own experience of life. No one is going to know what's going on in your head if you don't say it. It sometimes impossible to solve your own problems without putting them into words. And often times the times that we need to say something is mutually exclusive from the times that provide solutions. In cases of those posts, I would suggest to make an effort to separate venting and call of action. When you're venting, your call of action to your audience is to listen and empathize or sometimes ask for more information or help. This is where transparency of your blog comes in. If you make it clear that a post on your blog is venting, fewer negative reactions will come to it. However if you muddy the lines of venting and a call to action without thinking critically or providing accurate information, this is where communities regress. If you make a post that follows the lines of "this person did a thing and it triggered me therefore all people should stop doing that action." There are very few instances where you can get specific enough with your call to action that it doesn't have a negative effect that you can't percieve at first. If you aren't doing the research and really looking into solutions, you aren't thinking critically, you're thinking emotionally.

Basic emotional regulation strategies involve finding and using tools that help you contol the effect your emotions have on you in a healthy and sustainable way. An unhealthy way of dealing with emotions is falling into a generalization fallacy. If you muddy your venting by making your call to action a generalization of a certain type of people, you are spreading an unhealthy and unsustainable fallacy on your audience. Since it's an unhealthy strategy, it regresses the community.

Like I said. Most things that have to do with mental health are best dealt with on a case by case basis. Yes, it's more work. But imo a healthy community is worth the work.

What about memes?

Good point. So what we know so far is that memes hold an opinion of their own. A meme of something is a commentary on it.

Are they fiction or non-fiction?

Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren't.

So lyke a joke, right? It's commentary, but also it's entertainment.

Not everything that is entertainment is fiction.

Obviously lyke a meme like reposting in the wrong neighborhood is pure fiction. Just a funny sequence of imagery and songs. But there is a type of meme that is a commentary on the real word. Even if it uses fiction to state that commentary. We'll see what exactly to do about those. The ones that are pure art and fiction are mindless. But if something is a commentary on the real world, take very much care to pay attention to which facts it takes for granted and if those facts are accurate and if those facts are progressive for humans to believe in.

But then going back to art. A lot of art is commentary. Lyke videos and stuff.

Then same thing applies. You evaluate which biases and assumptions the commentary relies upon and if it's actually helpful to believe in the implications of such art.

Uhm we'll see if I come up with any more kind of guidelines. Again this is written just for me. Even if it doesn't sound like it. This just helps put my thoughts together.

~Flare

#Progressive guidelines #Dicerolls #txt #things1said #intersysconvos #things4said #like if you read reblog if you want

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