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#but also i need to fuck him up for healing purposes
inuhalfdemon · 3 days
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No One Can Know... (7/?)
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Word Count: 1,384 Words
Chapter 7
"So much left unspoken, between the two of us..." - Halestorm
When Alastor was awake and ready to move, Lucifer helped him through the portal and back into the shower. It was still dark in the room, but Lucifer took his time to see that they were both showered.
He worried that Alastor would be touch averse again now that he was back to a calmer state, but the demon clung to him - still unsteady - as Lucifer took pangs to wash and inspect his body. Lucifer was a needy creature, and a favorite part of an intense sexual session – to him - was the intimacy of aftercare.
The cuts across Alastor's face had already healed. Apart from being both utterly mentally and physically exhausted; Alastor seemed no worse for wear. Lucifer summoned what was needed and began lathering Alastor's fur and hair in product. The sinner was bent close to him as hot water pelted his back, bringing relief to the aching muscles that throbbed and twitched beneath his skin. Lucifer adjusted Alastor's position; rinsing the product from his hair before finding a body wash he wanted. Taking care, Lucifer worked the soap across Alastor's skin in a busy way; purposely so that the movements were never slow, lingering, or sexual in nature.
When he was done and the soap was washed away from Alastor's body, Lucifer turned himself to begin washing his own hair with Alastor leaning heavily against him. Alastor moved and he pressed himself closer to the King's back, resting his head with eyes closed upon a low shoulder. Lucifer let him be as he continued to wash himself and when he was done with that; he dried them both off, gathered up their clothes and - using a portal - moved Alastor and himself to a large spare bedroom suite.
A small wave of the hand; and Lucifer had Alastor dressed in a dark red -with black trim - silk nightshirt and slacks; though he wasn't sure that the sinner had ever really truly noticed. Alastor dizzily had climbed into the bed; burrowing himself beneath the tucked back covers. Lucifer suspected he was asleep before he was ever properly settled.
Lucifer left him to his rest; going to replace the blown fuse to the fuse box and making himself a gin and tonic. He had manifested a pair of loose sweats for himself and nothing else. He was properly tired now...something that was rare for him these nights. He debated with himself, wanting to give Alastor his privacy but also not wanting to leave him alone without knowing what to expect when he awoke. Taking the gin with him; he returned to the room. Settling himself in a plush chair that sat against the wall; Lucifer sipped from his gin before letting his head fall back and falling asleep. 
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Hours later, Alastor was stirring. Lucifer groaned, getting up from the chair and stretching himself. Sleep had abandoned him only moments earlier; still, it was better than he could say for most nights... 
"Uuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhh." Alastor groaned; sitting up and throwing the covers off of himself. "Why do I feel like I'm fucking hungover?" 
Coherent and seemingly...himself. That's good. 
"Probably because you are, you fucking lightweight." He smirked. Lucifer went to the bed, leaning against a bed post that ran up from the footboard. 
"Uh...what time is it?" Alastor groaned again, swiping a clawed hand down his face. "How long have I been asleep?" He was blinking blurrily. 
"Three days..." Lucifer told him, serious now. 
"WHAT!?" Alastor sobered up; ears shooting up straight and his eyes snapping open.
Lucifer spat out a laugh. "Just fucking with you - it's only been a few hours." 
Alastor huffed, clearly unamused. 
"Do you remember anything that happened last night?" Lucifer asked, curious to know. 
"No.....yes?" He was thinking, trying to remember, but was in a haze. "Maybe...we were -" He stiffened. "And, then..later...I-" His face flushed a soft red. 
Lucifer snorted. "I'm flattered that that is what is so memorable to you but, I'm more wondering if you remember what happened between the antics we got up to in the shower…to you deciding to climb me." 
"No, I -" Alastor's ears pulled back, uncomfortable. "I'm afraid that I don't." 
"It's fine. I'm just curious, is all." Lucifer assured him. 
"What did happen?" Alastor asked him, trying for nonchalance but delivering it rather poorly.
Fuck, he's really worried. 
"Naturally, you tried to kill me." Lucifer told him. "But, I think we both were anticipating that. It was all easily managed; no harm done." 
Turning his head, Alastor eyed him. "Cost of damages?" 
"Oh, yes. You blew out a fuse to my fuse box before trying to kill me...so I suppose there's that." 
Alastor pressed a palm to his forehead; eyes squinting tightly closed. "I need to get back to the hotel." He started pulling himself out from the covers. 
"Whoa, already?" Lucifer moved to stop or help him - he wasn't sure which. "It's still early - it's not even light out yet."
"It's better that I return immediately so that no one wonders at my absence." 
"You're sure?" Lucifer asked him. 
"Yes. I'm usually up early anyway." Alastor slid himself from the bed, going to where Lucifer had his clothes hung and set aside for him. 
"Because your...creep-piss-cular? Right?"
"Crepisscular." Alastor fumbled. Creepuscular..." trying again. "Crep-ah! Fuck you, nevermind....yes!" 
Alastor unbuttoned the night shirt; slipping it off. 
“If I leave now, there’ll still be time for me to have breakfast done and ready for everyone before they wake up.” He was saying – reaching for a hanger.
“Special occasion?” Lucifer asked.
“No, it’s something I do every morning.”
“Every morning?” Lucifer cocked an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because absolutely no one in that god damned establishment – save for Charlie and her ‘boo’ -knows how to make or enjoy a proper meal.” Alastor hissed; casually tossing in a new bit of the new slang he had learned.
“I...have so many questions.” Lucifer told him.
“Well, now’s not the time-“ Alastor was saying; untying and pulling down the pajama bottoms.
“Whoa, whoa, WHOA! What are you doing!?” Lucifer jerked back; looking away.
“I’m undressing.” Alastor ignored his dramatic outburst; thinking him to be acting purposely dramatic.  “You’ve seen it all anyway, what’s the problem here?” He pulled his dress pants to him; carefully shaking them out.
Lucifer’s face was flushed, eyes still cast aside. “I just-I wasn’t expecting it.”
“You don’t have to humor me, your grace.” Alastor told him; slipping into his dress pants – tucking his tail in - and going for the shirt now. “I don’t really need it.”
“That’s not – “ He shifted his eyes back, seeing that Alastor had his shirt pulled on now and was working on the first button.
“Why are you even dressing yourself like that!?” He blurted.
“It’s habit!” Alastor bit back at him. “I don’t use my powers for every little thing.”
Letting it go, Lucifer asked, “So, is that it then. You all done with your rut?”
“Oh, if we could be so lucky…” Alastor sighed, pulling his jacket on now. “I don’t think so. But, I should manage on my own for a while.”
“But, you will c-“
“Yes, my King, I will call on you.” Alastor assured him.
Alastor’s ears were twitching; and he suddenly seemed to be even more in a rush to be leaving.
Ah…someone has certainly given him some trouble.
Quickly re-evaluating, Lucifer realized he was coming off much too…clingy. Which – really wasn’t his intent, but whatever; Lucifer fumbled social interactions all the time - Alastor could read into it as much as he wanted to or not. He wasn’t going to lose sleep over it; he already had enough to torment his nights.   
Fully dressed; Alastor produced his microphone staff with a flourish.
Looking to his sleeve, Alastor pulled at it, absently straightening it out; as he said: “I…appreciate your…collaboration in ensuring that I can keep my end of things running smoothly. I will be in contact with you soon.” Alastor spun his staff; opening a green and swirling portal before promptly stepping through and disappearing entirely; the opening closing with a snap and a soft hiss.
“’Oh, yes…indeed….how terrifically splendid.’” Lucifer mockingly mimicked Alastor’s voice as he walked away, leaving the room. “’Please, let’s do it again sometime – teehee…’“
“The fucker…”   
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[Alastor taking efforts to make breakfast for everyone at the hotel is from a small but lovely fic idea I came across: here]
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diabratz · 2 years
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belphie is real fuckin cute for someone who choked the absolute fuck out of me for fun
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pluckyredhead · 7 months
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What the heck is going on in Batman/Gotham War?
I know a lot of people in fandom are confused and/or upset about what's been going on in Gotham War - why is Bruce acting like this, what is Selina doing, why are the Batkids taking sides. So I figured I would fill you all in on what's been happening in Batman and Catwoman since Chip Zdarsky took over with Batman #125, because it has been BONKERS and I have been enjoying the hell out of it.
Below, the quickest summary I can manage while still being comprehensive:
[Content warning: mental illness, abuse, suicide (...ish), LOTS of violence.]
The first arc, "Failsafe," starts with Batman and Robin (Tim, in this case) in pursuit of the Penguin, who is on a killing spree. In the very first issue, Tim gets shot in the neck. Bruce has to take him to the hospital, but first he has to strip him out of his costume and put him in civilian clothes to preserve their secret identities, triggering memories of when he had to do the same to Jason's dead body. There is LITERALLY NO PURPOSE TO ANY OF THIS EXCEPT WHUMP (Tim is back in action with a fucking BAND-AID on his neck very quickly), which is how I knew this was going to be good. Beat Tim up! Make Bruce cry about Jason! I want these men to suffer! (There is also SO much to be said about Tim's own Poor Mental Health Decisions throughout the entirety of Zdarsky's run so far, but that's for a separate meta post.)
Anyway. Bruce leaves Tim in the hospital and goes to confront Penguin, who turns out to be dying of mercury poisoning. He kills himself and makes it look like Batman did it, forcing Bruce to flee. (Penguin actually faked his death and is alive elsewhere under an alias, but that's not important right now.)
In the Batcave, a massive robot called Failsafe emerges. Failsafe attacks Bruce, who usually eats killer robots for breakfast, but he can't seem to get the upper hand on this one. Duke, Cass, Steph, and Dick show up to help, but Failsafe beats them all too, while Tim gets an injured Bruce away and to the Batcave.
In the Batcave, Bruce puts on a weird purple and red Batman costume and a new personality takes over: the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh. Now, Zur has a very complicated history going back to 1958, but for the purposes of this story, all you need to know is that when he was younger, Bruce decided it would be good to hang out in a sensory deprivation chamber until his mind created a secondary personality, Zur, who is essentially Batman without Bruce. Zur is pure efficiency who does not care about anything but the mission. He created Failsafe, for one purpose: to kill Bruce if Bruce ever crossed the line and killed someone. And right now, Failsafe believes that Bruce killed Penguin.
Failsafe nearly kills Tim, which Zur is okay with writing off as an expendable soldier's death, but this causes Bruce to take control of the body back because "Tim isn't my soldier...HE'S MY SON!" (Tim Nation, why are you not ALL OVER this story? It's catnip.)
Babs calls in the JLA (SuperBat fans, you will also want to read Bruce's adoring description of Clark when he shows up), but of course Failsafe has kryptonite, which it stabs Clark with. The League dumps Clark and Bruce into the JLA jet and distracts Failsafe while Tim flies Clark and Bruce to the Fortress of Solitude. Bruce tells Tim he's a good boy and jumps out of the jet and into the ocean so that Tim and Clark will be safe from Failsafe. He's rescued by Arthur, who takes him to Atlantis to heal. THIS HAS ALL ONLY BEEN FOUR ISSUES SO FAR.
Two weeks later, Bruce wakes up to discover that Failsafe has taken over Gotham. He teleports up to the JLA Watchtower on the moon to lure Failsafe there, then blows the Watchtower up, hoping to catch a ride on one of the Javelins. But Failsafe has already destroyed them, so Bruce RIDES A BOOSTER ROCKET BACK TO EARTH, OXYGEN MASK CLAPPED OVER HIS FACE. The whole thing has some powerful Scooty-Puff Jr energy.
The only tricky part is reentry, when Bruce starts to burn up - his costume is fireproof, of course, but his chin is exposed. SO HE TAKES OFF HIS LITTLE BAT-PANTIES AND PUTS THEM OVER HIS HEAD. I swear to god this happened in a real comic book and the entire "Bruce falls off the moon and survives" sequence is utterly delectable goofy nonsense and I truly cannot recall a time I've had more fun reading a comic book.
Anyway, Bruce lands directly outside of the Fortress, BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES, and runs inside to find Clark and Tim. While Clark keeps Failsafe distracted, Bruce and Tim program nanobots to inject compassion into Failsafe. I SWEAR TO GOD. They zap him with the nanobots, but Failsafe pulls a high tech space gun out of the Fortress and shoots Bruce with it anyway, apparently disintegrating him. Tim falls to his knees in the snow, weeping. TIM NATION, WAKE UP, THIS RUN IS CANDY FOR YOU.
But of course Bruce isn't dead! That wasn't a killing gun, it was a "zap you into another dimension" gun!!! THAT was the compassion!
So Bruce finds himself in a dystopian alternate Gotham, and I'll be honest, I didn't love this arc ("The Bat-Man of Gotham") as much as I loved "Failsafe," but it has its moments. In this Gotham, Bruce Wayne is dead, so Regular Bruce is like "Oh boy, time to Batman this place up." Also he's plagued by hallucinations of a skeleton version of Jim Gordon who is still wearing a trench coat AND A MUSTACHE. Like I said, it has its moments.
This Gotham is controlled by Arkham, and anyone who is diagnosed as "crazy" is locked up. A new villain, Red Mask, is in charge, and Selina and a Venomed-up Harvey Dent work for him. Bruce teams up with an orphan kid (of course) named Jewel and goes after Red Mask, who turns out to be some guy named Darwin Halliday and ALSO...the Joker. Well, he's the Joker who hasn't been Jokerized yet. But one time he breathed in some chemicals that let him see into the main reality of the DCU (???) and glimpsed Regular Joker and now he wants to build an interdimensional machine to mentally connect with Regular Joker across universes which he assumes will make him insane, NATURALLY.
Bruce attacks Red Mask, who sics a Venomed-up Ghost Maker on him. Ghost Maker cuts off Bruce's right hand. Bruce cauterizes it with an electroshock machine and ties some spikes on it (SERIOUSLY) and goes after Red Mask again. Meanwhile Red Mask mentally connects with an alternate dimensional Joker...but instead of it driving Red Mask insane, he's what drives the Joker insane. Desperate to become the Joker somehow, anyhow, he jumps into the interdimensional portal, and Morally Dubious Alternate Universe Selina kicks Bruce in after him.
Meanwhile, Tim is in full "I KNOW I SAW HIM DIE BUT HE'S NOT DEAD" mode, which: bless. So he teams up with Jon Kent, which...gosh, what an astonishingly boring duo. I love Jon, I love Tim, they're perfectly nice and normal around each other, I'm falling asleep. Anyway Tim fights Toyman for a while and then makes a VERY stupid costume where the entire torso is a giant light-up R, because "I want him to see that Robin is coming to save him." GET A THERAPY, TIM.
Bruce finds himself first in the Michael Keaton Batman universe, then the Red Rain universe, BTAS, Batman Beyond (yes I know they're the same universe but I guess he goes there twice), Silver Age, Kingdom Come, Gotham by Gaslight, and more. Adam West gives him a utility belt. The Dark Knight Returns Bruce builds him a robot hand.
Finally Bruce and Red Mask reach the end of the multiverse, which is a Gotham asteroid floating in space, surrounded by giant Jokerized sharks. LUCKILY BRUCE HAS BAT-SHARK REPELLANT IN HIS ADAM WEST UTILITY BELT!!! Honestly this whole arc was worth it for that moment.
Bruce knocks Red Mask out, but now he's stuck. He has a device from Batman Beyond Bruce to get home, but it's only good for one person, and he can't leave Red Mask there to die. Of course, that's when Tim shows up in his stupid giant glowing R costume and they hug it out, thereby fulfilling but also compounding all of Tim's issues since 1989.
Anyway things are fine now, right? Sure, Bruce is hallucinating that his family is on fire, and the Zur personality is not going neatly back into the box where it's been all these years, and he still has a robot hand (Damian, hilariously, immediately announces that he wants one too), but he's FINE. He is a little bit mad at Selina, because she broke out of jail (she was in jail because she killed her fuckbuddy because he was trying to kill Bruce), and also because she didn't tell him Penguin was alive and that would have stopped Failsafe, and also because Other Selina kicked into another universe. Selina, very fairly, is like "Well I'm not responsible for Other Selinas and also maybe don't build robots to kill yourself with and not tell anyone about them???"
THEN we got Knight Terrors, the summer event in which a villain called Nightmare caused everyone to fall asleep and, uh, have nightmares. Bruce, specifically, had a nightmare that he met an eight-year-old version of himself that vomited up a man-sized bat with a gun for a head. I laughed SO HARD. Bruce also had his body borrowed by Deadman for the duration of the event, so while he endured the psychological toll of nightmares like everyone else, he also endured the physical toll of everything Deadman was doing PLUS the mental toll of being aware of what was happening in the waking world even though he couldn't control his body. As soon as the event was over, he lapsed into a coma so that his body could get some damn rest.
Okay. Now we're up to Gotham War.
(I know, I know. But for all of you who are like "How could Bruce do this???" about Gotham War...*points up* THAT'S HOW. HE IS NOT WELL.)
Bruce awakens from his coma and IMMEDIATELY decides to Fight A Crime even though Babs is like "Maybe don't?" But he can't find any crime, which is...weird. His kids confirm that Gotham's been super quiet since he's been out.
Selina hears that Bruce is awake and is like okay, time to pay the piper. She calls all of the Bats to a meeting and explains that she's the reason crime has been down. See, villains like Joker and Two-Face always have goons, right? But what if the goon supply dried up because the goons have better jobs? So Selina has trained All The Goons In Gotham to be...cat burglars. No violence, no stealing from anyone who can't afford it. More importantly, no helping Scarecrow or whoever commit mass murder.
All of the Batkids are like "Hmm...I feel uncertain about this, but it's working...I don't know what to think..." except for Jason, who thinks it's hilarious and is instantly Team Selina, and Damian, who is staunchly Team Bruce. Bruce, meanwhile, is like "No! NO! THIS IS CRIMES, AND CRIMES IS BAD!" and Selina's like "I mean, robbing from the rich is basically a victimless crime" and Bruce screams, I swear to god, "MY PARENTS WERE 'RICH'!" Inexplicable scare quotes and all. I laughed so hard.
Anyway this is the basis for Gotham War and it is endlessly hilarious to me because everyone in the Batfamily is supposed to be a genius and yet not one single character has pointed out that:
There are jobs the goons could be doing that AREN'T illegal. It's not just violent crime vs. nonviolent crime. There are in fact many other jobs! I am POSITIVE Gotham needs construction workers and hospital orderlies. (Yes, I know it's hard for people with records to get jobs. That isn't addressed.)
Being Batman is SUPER ILLEGAL.
They are all so stupid.
Selina's plan doesn't even work, because one of her thieves gets killed by a rich person defending their home, and Bruce is like "See? This is why crime is bad!" and like...pretty much snaps. He's particularly fixated on Jason, even (rhetorically) threatening to kill him, which is when the other kids jump into the fray on Jason's side, all except for Damian, who like I said is firmly Team Bruce. (This makes complete sense to me, Damian has been dealing with severe trauma and isolation pretty much nonstop since 2018 and he and Bruce have finally made a tenuous peace, so I can understand why he wouldn't want to lose that.)
Also, Vandal Savage buys Wayne Manor. It's so random and SO funny.
OKAY BATMAN #138. Bruce has kidnapped Jason and injected him with a variation on fear toxin which will be triggered whenever Jason's adrenaline spikes, the idea being that Jason is no longer capable of killing - but in practice, Jason is no longer capable of even getting up off the floor, he's so terrified. I want to be really, really clear here: Bruce is like 90% Zur here, and the only reason he goes this route and doesn't kill Jason is because the remaining 10% that's still Bruce loves Jason and is trying to help him. He's just incapable of good or humane help because Zur literally can't do feelings.
Dick knows something is up and is sneaking around Bruce's Secret Other House We've Never Heard Of to figure out what it is. Damian attacks him to protect Bruce. Tim attacks Damian so that Dick can do what he needs to do, and handcuffs Damian to a parking meter:
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THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE!!! TIM GO TO THERAPY! DAMIAN GO TO THERAPY! EVERYONE GO TO THERAPY!!!!!
Dick figures out what Bruce did to Jason (it's on the computer, for...some reason?) and absolutely loses his shit on Bruce, beating the crap out of him, which tbh is the only thing that felt off to me in this run because frankly I don't think Dick likes Jason that much. BUT WHATEVER.
Tim pulls Dick off of Bruce. Bruce leaves them both tangled in a net and flees as the cops approach. Zur's like "Good, fuck 'em" in Bruce's head, because the cops will expose Dick, Tim, and Damian's secret identities and Bruce will be free of the dead weight of a family, but the little bit of Bruce still in there throws Dick a batarang so he can free them all in time.
Then Bruce leaves. Damian is devastated.
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I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS PAGE. Damian really thought he could have Bruce's love and loyalty if he turned on everyone else! Tim is going to be a therapy dog to a Wayne even if he has to settle for the one he doesn't like! That unresisting, blank hug made me SCREAM when I turned the page. Incredible. (Also the art fucking S L A P S, god bless you Jorge Jimenez.)
ALSO it turns out that Selina's second in command has been Vandal Savage's daughter Scandal Savage the whole time and they are turning Selina's cat burglar army into their own personal army WHOOPS. (This also feels very OOC for Scandal but at this point I trust Zdarsky with my life so let's see where things go.)
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SO THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON IN GOTHAM WAR. TL;DR:
Bruce is unhinged because he nearly died like 19 times in a week and it unlocked the smaller, meaner purple Batman that lives inside him.
Selina is unaware that you can get money legally.
Tim is going to have a nervous breakdown if he can't fix someone, ANYONE.
Damian needs a hug but ideally from someone he actually likes this time.
Jason is so scared.
THE END.
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chronically-ghosted · 14 days
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iron and charcoal
rating: explicit 18+ pairing: pero tovar x f!reader word count: 6.9K summary: Sana sana culito de rana. Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana. But there would be no tomorrow. No future, no light of dawn – not without –  Her. He’d never heal because tomorrow would never come.  OR Pero falls hard for a princess and doesn’t know what to do with himself on your wedding night. warnings: angst, brief classism/xenophobia two very stubborn people, pero experiences one Human Emotion and cannot fully process it, arranged marriage, yearning, smut LIKE WOW, soft!pero that i broke my own heart with a/n: Thank you so much to @perotovar for this request: "congrats on your milestone, my love! so happy for you <33 i'm sending a little astrology 💫 + pero & #6 on the fluffy list OR #1 on the smutty list (whichever is speaking to you), because i wanna see your take on him 👀” – of course I chose the slutty one, just for you 😉 I’m actually pretty proud of this one - please consider reblogging if you like it too!
*the image in the header is for aesthetic purposes only and does not reflect the appearance of the reader*
🤍Masterlist 🤍Pero Tovar Masterlist
💜come see what else we've done to celebrate 1K followers
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Sana sana culito de rana. Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana. 
Sometimes before battle, the clatter inside Pero’s head goes silent. It listens. It waits. 
Other times, it roars. Memories of family, of dead amigos, of mujeres he fucked – they all buck and scratch for a chance to blaze across his mind like a dust storm kicked up by an unbroken mustang. 
He doesn’t know which one he prefers or which one will win out. They both have their uses, necessary states of mind to survive whatever is barreling towards him – an ax, a monster out of legend, some other drunken mercenary he intentionally pissed off. It’s an unconscious decision, yet one that has served him well so far. He wouldn’t be alive today if some deep, primal part of him knew what he needed to live through another battle. 
And yet, his own trunk knocking against his hips as he climbed the sickly ostentatious stone steps to the top of the parapet, the handles starting to pinch his fingers, the barest – nearly invisible – tremor in his knees, he cannot fathom, for the life of him, why that singular phrase from his abuela played in his head like water swirling around and around a cenote. 
Sana sana culito de rana. Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana. 
Sana sana culito de rana. Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana. 
His inner voice, taking on a myriad of forms, of sounds and voices, never quite standing still, the one companion he could always rely on. 
Maybe it was warning him. Dust yourself off, boy, you know exactly how this was going to end. 
Sana sana culito de rana. Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana. 
But there would be no tomorrow. No future, no light of dawn – not without –
Her.
He’d never heal because tomorrow would never come.
He feels sweat escape from the nape of curls at his neck, his cheeks warm and chest hot. Two more flights, he can manage two more flights. 
His abuela also liked to tell him something else: if hell doesn’t get him, his pride certainly will. 
It’s certainly what got him into this ridiculous farce in the first place. Because he can’t alchemize whatever is in his gut into vocalized syllables, he instead has to climb a truly incalculable amount of stairs, while carrying a ragged, torn trunk that weighs as much as his armor. 
Because he can’t form the right words, any words, about what he carries lodged beneath his breastbone for her. What draws him up and up and up and up because it’s lighter than hope, makes him lighter than air, and yet it clogs him up, chokes him out all the same. His pride, his vanity, cuts through it, through her – enough to keep him tongueless and dry but not enough to offer this lightness in his chest to her, for her. He can’t take the light out of him or else he fears what he will truly become.
So, he walks, he goes around and around on unforgiving stone steps until finally there is a door. He thinks about waiting, to catch his breath, but he knows he will just as easily turn around and go back the way he came, trunk still heavy and knocking against his hips, and that pride will be the death of him. So he keeps going, opens the handle, and makes abrupt eye contact with the two guards outside her door. They seem uninterested and unamused in his sweaty, stilted breathing, but by his less-than-royal attire, they easily clock him as one of their own; a man who fights to make his way in the world. The one on the left nods jerkily at him. 
What they see him as, what he will always be, is nearly the reason he kicks that fucking trunk all the way back down. Instead, he nods back, shoulders rounded, eyes down. 
“The princesa - the princess - is requesting the last of her things, to be b-brought up from the stables –,” he clears his throat, “drop this off for her and –,”
“Can’t let you in. King’s orders.” The one on the right sees him as something else – a foreigner first and foremost, their similar stations in life irrelevant. His bright blue eyes rove over Pero’s dark skin, dark hair, jagged scar, distaste and disgust smearing his already ugly features. But he had been dealing with men like these all his life.
“Bueno, you can explain to the King himself why his daughter’s belongings were lost and disregarded. I hear she’s very fond of the Italian prints at the bottom of this . . .”
The guards glance at each other, calculating way above their paygrade. Pero jostles the trunk as if to show he is not above throwing it out the window. 
“Fine.” The second one snaps. “Drop it inside and come back immediately.”
He drops his head, a good little foreign boy. “Gracias, señor.” 
The heavy wooden door opens beneath the iron lock and the instant he is through, he bolts it behind him. Waits to see if the guards notice. They don’t. Perfectamente – all the time in the world. 
All in the time in the world – for what? 
To fail? Again?
He stows the trunk in front of the door, extra time, a few seconds maybe – as if she wouldn’t just tell him to get out the instant she laid eyes on him. Only time will tell. 
Out of the atrium, another door, this one set deep into the wall. A last line of defense. He knocks, once, then twice, then waits. El orgullo chokes him again but fuck it, he’s come this far. He knocks again, knocks something in his chest free and, with it, spill the words:
“Princesa? It’s me. I –,” it throttles him, “princesa, can you open the door?” 
Silence. His heart sits, buried in that trunk. Then –
“It’s unlocked, Pero.” 
His heart in his throat, he opens the door to presumably what will be your marriage bed. And yet, by the state of things, you could have been moving out of it. Trunks and bags stack high against the far wall – those fucking trunks he made such a scene over because the unnecessary weight would slow them all down remain untouched, arranged as they had been when they had been first brought in. He didn’t quite know what to make of that, his thumb absently pressing into the callus of his other hand as he glanced around. It is a beautiful room – tall windows, etched in scarlet drapes, to match the scarlet curtains around the bed. With gold thread and impossibly detailed paintings of the countryside, it is fit for a princess, a some-day queen. This is where someone with royal blood deserved to be, not in the back of a hot carriage for weeks on end, surrounded by dirty, loud, rough men. 
And yet, with your hair down, expansive gown from the ball tonight replaced with a simple cotton dress, you could not have been more out of place. Pero’s heart lurches briefly, moisture seeping from his mouth, as he realizes this is the same dress he bought you when the two of you had been accidentally separated by the caravan and your previous dress had been ruined in the mud. He had no idea you still kept it, much less wore it ever again. 
But if anyone asked him, you look more beautiful in this than any silk or velvet. 
Instead of unpacking, settling into your new home and eventual role as wife, you sit hunched over at the intricately carved mahogany desk, eagle feather quill scratching against parchment. You finish with a flourish and look over your shoulder at him, your eyes annoyingly unreadable. 
“Yes?”
A stupid brute some may call him, but he wasn’t entirely without awareness. Observation of your customs and what you considered inappropriate only encouraged him: if you really didn’t want him here, you would never have let him see you in this state.
But it’s hard to remember that under your icy stare. 
“Y-your things, Princesa. The last from the caravan.”
Your eyes slide over him, to the trunk in the shadows of the atrium. He can tell from a single glance that you know as well as he that trunk is not yours, that no one told him to come here with it, and yet he did it all the same. Something flashes over your eyes but it’s gone by the time you meet his gaze again. 
“Thank you. I am, as always, indebted to you.” 
He hates your words, but warmth spreads in his gut at the way you say it. That’s how it’s always been between you and him – saying one thing but meaning another. He’d never appreciated a sharp mind like yours until he realized you wield it as he wields a sharp sword. 
There are many things he’d never even dreamed of before he met you.
“Then, this means you’re leaving, I suppose.” You draw your sword against him. The metal flashes in your eyes as you stand, one hand against the curved tip of your chair. A bronze halo rims your outline, the fire behind you burning bright and hot. He knows if he touched your shoulder, your neck, your skin would be wonderfully warm. 
He wets his lips. “Si. Our contract with your father is done.” 
You drop his gaze, your lips tightening for a minute, your fingers running through the carvings of wood on the chair. “Even with William in his state? Would it not be better for him to stay and recover? The journey home is –,” you pause, as though someone had thrown a hand over your mouth, “– the journey back east is long.” 
All the longer without you.
“William, he is not an idle man. Two days of bedrest is often all he can take.” 
You grin, in spite of this thing circling you both. “Unless he finds the nun attending to him beautiful.
“He finds them all beautiful.” 
Your smile expands wide across your bright face when you find him smiling at you too. 
This – if this is to be his last memory of you (his heart wrenches at the thought) – this is the you he wants imprinted on his soul: smiling and glowing by firelight. 
But as quickly as it came, that grin that warms him down to his bones, fades. In an instant, your eyes grow soft, your mouth twisted, jaw tight.
“Where will you go?” you ask, in the quietest voice you’d ever addressed him with. 
It pains him, physically aches within him, to hear the distress in your voice. He hasn’t even thought about the next contract, the next royal cabrón who intends to yank him all across God’s green earth to perform a task he can’t be fucked to take on himself. How can he possibly answer you? Nowhere, without you. To rot in a dark hole in the ground? Off a cliff? What answer would provide you or him any sort of satisfaction?
“Wherever the coin goes,” he says and the words scrape his tongue like bile. That ache in his chest spiraling rapidly, deep into his gut – like a poisoned limb he cannot amputate – he does the same thing he always does when he’s hurt: he makes others hurt until they leave him alone. “You do not have to worry, princesa, your new husband will keep you in such comfort you will never wonder where the coin comes from.”
He must be a truly sick man, for the knife-sharp glare you throw at him only knots arousal around the base of his spine. It tugs on something attached directly to his groin which, in turn, yanks the next words out of his mouth.
“He looked especially happy with you in his arms on the dance floor tonight.”
The icy shards in your eyes go brittle and crack. His heart races; he’s overplayed his hand. 
“You watched me dance?”
“All guardsmen were required to –,”
You shake your head, eyes bright and searing through him. “No. It was only the King’s Knights there in attendance.” 
Your hand trailing off the edge of the chair, you take a step forward and he feels his weight shift back onto his heels. But he remains firm. 
Sana, sana.
“Pero, why did you come here tonight?”
“To return the last of your things, princesa. What else is there?”
You flinch, as if he had raised his voice to you. What else is there indeed?
“Not even to . . .  say goodbye? Sixteen weeks on the road is an awfully long time to be around someone, only for them to . . . leave so soon.”
He locks his knees to keep them from shaking. “Do you wish for me to tell you goodbye, princesa?” 
There’s something painfully sad about the way you smile at him. “I wish for whatever would make you happiest.” 
Anger roars within him, hungry and hot, like a burn from a white flame. Why can’t you just admit it? Why do you avoid it time and time again? He knows he hasn’t misread anything you’ve sent his way, so why? Why are you so vested in torturing him this way? 
“Coin makes me happy and, now that I have it, there’s nothing to keep me here.”
There, that hurts you too, just as he meant it.
“Then leave.” They could make ice fortresses out of the strength of your bone-cold stare. “If you have nothing else to say, then take your goddamn trunk and get out of my sight.” 
The flame scorches him, ripping him apart and in his anger, making him cruel.
He bows to you.
“I imagine you will be very happy with your new husband, ranita.”
The term slips from his lips before he can stop it, but his throat and cheeks blister so badly, he physically can’t open his mouth to correct his mistake. Instead, he turns and strides towards the door.
He thinks he hears a gasp from behind him, a sharp sound like breaking glass – small, tinkling, tragic. It spears him through his chest, pierces his heart. 
He gets to the door and pauses.
If you have nothing else to say . . .
Of course he has something to say – words in English and Spanish and broken dialects gathered like poisonous lichen all churning in the boiling cauldron of his mind, but nothing will suffice – nothing reflects or compares to the grief he is already feeling, the despair, the anguish that has settled into all the fleshy joints in his body. Not his pride, but this, saying goodbye to you, this is what actually will kill him.
Every word imaginable crawls up his throat and rages in his mouth, presses up against his teeth, begging for something, anything to be let out, to be free, to tell you that he cannot fucking live without you–
Nothing comes through, but one single word.
“Don’t.” 
The fire crackles in the silence, a wicked god pleased at the display of carnage.
“What did you say?”
A dull thud echoes from where he drops his forehead against the wood of the door, all anger flooding out of his system. Do you have any idea the power you hold over him? One request, one tremor in your voice and his knees all but buckle at your altar. 
Fuck it. 
He always thought he’d go out in a blaze of bloody glory, but he’d never expected to be so exposed, so flayed like this.
“Don’t,” he repeats, his throat as dry as sand. “Do not . . . marry him. Please.” 
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The vision of your great warrior slumped against the door frame, his neck bent, shoulders curled up to his ears has your already pounding heart leaping forward into a gallop. He is defeated, laid low. You watch his guts all but pool out on your hearth. 
He looks about as hopeless and anguished as you feel. 
Your soldier, your man of iron and charcoal, goes blurry in your eyes.
“And what would you have me do, Pero?” Your plea is damp, malleable at the edges. You press your hand flat against your chest, near your throat, as if you could pull the grief lodged there with your fingers. “I have been engaged to this man before I was even born. How can I stop this?” 
“Fight.” The word snarls against his bare teeth. He turns, his eyes liquid ink, and suddenly he has you by the shoulders. His thumbs nervously skitter around the curve of your shoulder, gaze just as unsteady and unfocused as it wavers between your hands, your earlobe, your neck. "Where is my brave girl who fights for what she wants, hm? Fight – for me, please.”
Fight, he asks – but in spite of him or because of him?
You lay your hands on the silver shine of his breastplate, watch as they rise and fall with his steady flow of breath. How many nights had you woken up against that shine, in the crook of his arm for warmth, or protection? You didn’t cherish it at the time because you never knew when it would be your last. 
“Why won’t you fight, princesa?” His voice is low, strained, the groan of a wagon wheel before it breaks. You meet his gaze and the exposed look on his face, softening every line on his mouth and around his eyes, nearly sends you into hysterics. You swallow the tears, swallow the hook in your throat as your fingers curl around the clasps of his cape. 
"Because if I don't fight then I can't lose.” His fingers slip from your shoulders, to your elbows, to your waist. You inhale and the scents of warm leather, oil, and ash flood your mouth. The tip of your nose is inches from the scruff of beard against his cheek, the ruddy brown of his sun-drenched skin. He has curled you into him and this, you do not fight either. His massive palms map your back, against your skin, but without any urgency or control. “If I can’t lose, that means I don’t lose you. You'll just be . . . gone."
That last word is a lie. It hangs in the air like a sweltering humid rain and you both know you’re lying. He has you wrapped up in his arms, you didn’t stop him even for a second, and you are all too aware that it would take some great, insidious alchemy to ever truly tear him out of you. 
You stare at his silver collar, defiant against the waves you had managed to shackle down until this very moment: a wave of hopeless crashes into you, a wave of heartbreak, a wave of helpless that fills your eyes to the point of spilling with that very same salt water.
He touches your cheek delicately, fingers rough with callouses, and the floodgates break open with a sob. 
“Preciosa,” he rumbles softly against your hairline, “hush. You break my heart with your tears.” 
“Do not mock me, Tovar. Not now.” you sniff, trying to turn your face but his wide hands catch you around the cheeks.
“You are beyond mocking. I’d show you my heavy heart but I do not wish that weight on anyone.” The snag of his rough thumbs against your cheek draws your watery gaze to him. His mouth is a flat line, barred against whatever climbs his throat, but his eyes move like mercury across your nose, your eyelashes, the arch of your cheek. Your fingers wrap themselves around his wrists, a grounding agent against the waves that threaten to pull you under. 
“Pero, I –,”
“I have fought you, tooth and nail, for days without end. Every favor, every breath, you have forced them from me. I fight my own mind when I sleep at night. Sueños, always of the same woman.” He smears away the tears with his thumbs, gently, sweetly, before pressing his lips to your wet flesh by his knuckle. He inhales deeply, eyes closed, mouth hovering stationary above the skin of your cheek. “You fight me every step of the way . . . and I am so tired of fighting.” 
For all your struggling, for all your tearing and clawing and snarling against the blooming in your chest, nothing is as easy as it is to turn your head and press your lips to his. 
The brush of his bristled mustache against your upper lip. His warm, rough palms holding you steady. His lips soft and hot. You are overwhelmed by the scent of him.
There is nothing like, and nothing will ever be like, finally kissing Pero Tovar. 
All it takes is the movement of his hands from your cheeks to your lower back, the light trace of his tongue against your lips, and the yearning you’d been smothering for weeks now roars to life. His hands squeeze your hips and you can suddenly barely breathe. 
“Pero–,” the noise in the shape of his name that escapes you is near a whine, begging. He nips at your lips, hand firmly at the cup of your jaw, mouth now rough and insistent, and your fingers claw up his neck, wrapping themselves in his dark curls. You tug, nails scratching his scalp, and he groans into your mouth as if you’d just kneed him in the gut.
A thread-bare gasp of your name from his lips splits you from him, then his hand on your hip and the back of your neck pushing you backwards gives you enough air to breathe – to think.
"Your husband will know you're not a virgin,” Pero warns, breathing hard and fast, his eyes like black flints, “if we go on." 
You curl your fingers around his neck, dragging your mouth near his jaw, the soft skin at the edge of his ear.
"Then he will also know my heart is not his either.” You ask everything of him with this. His armor blocks his warm body from you – you want to sink inside his hard shell. “If you’ll have it.”
He is not himself, half-human with an inhuman want, with the snarl that leaves him. 
“Don’t make such promises, dulzura –,” A threat, a dog forced to expose its underbelly, fear radiating like the pain from a broken bone. Your fingers dig into the buckles of his cape, steadying you against a sudden terrible awareness that bloomed, purple-bruised. 
“Unless you don’t want –,” 
The desk rattles when your hips break against it, the force of his kiss enough to topple over your inkwell, spill rolls of parchment to the floor. The wood groans under your weight when he gathers the thick swell of your thighs in his hands, heaves you onto the flat surface, and spreads your knees around his waist. He is as hard as the iron on his chest. 
“Can you feel how much I want you?”
A frantic sigh of relief, a groan shared between two pairs of lips, seeking skin and warmth and other hungry places. 
He drags you onto his chest, your skirt bunched up around your hips, the rings of his armor digging into the soft flesh of your thighs, his mouth covering yours in wet pulls, and he stands up right, as though you weighed less than his sword. 
A stumble, and he spreads you out on the velvet covers of your marriage bed, his hands imprinting on your hips, your knees, the supple meat of your calves. The touch of him on your bare skin feels like the licks of flames, the smoke of arousal blurring your awareness and dragging your eyelids half-closed. On his heels at the edge of the bed, the flint shards of his eyes drift over the bones of your ankles, the bend of your knee, your heaving chest, hair in snarls around your neck and caught behind your back, and finally to your cunt, hidden by the folds of your dress. 
Velvet hums as you slide your ankles to the curve of your ass, widening your legs, parting your knees. His lips part open, dark want etching every line of his face. You feel the wet linen of your dress cling to your achy cunt. He swallows, unbuckling his cape one latch at a time, his eyes nowhere else. The metal clatters as it falls to the floor.
Piece by piece, the chinks in his armor fall away. Piece by piece, he is revealed to you. Your hands rise up, up your thighs to your knees, your thumbs rubbing soft circles. He watches, never tears his gaze away from your sticky hole, his nimble fingers working away the buckles and knots with practiced precision. You can see it in his eyes – memories of bedrolls by firelight, of such a deep painful, yearning ache, separated only by thin tarp, they are a physical weight beside you in this marriage bed. 
You see them because they’re there for you too. You see them because you've been here a dozen times, on your back, legs spread wide, your hands circling but never dipping, waiting. Wanting. For him. 
His bare chest is warm, the wings of his ribs expanding around short, half-drawn breaths, as he crawls up into your pliant mouth. The kisses are slow, like before, with a crackle of heat just beyond them, his hips slipping into the cradle of your thighs, the wet warmth of you separated by the thin linen of your dress. He sucks the tendon below your ear, a whine slipping out of your mouth, fingers spreading over the harsh planes of his back, and his cock bobs against your thigh. 
Pero is bare and warm and entirely yours. All man beneath the sweltering armor. 
“Amorcita,” he drips into your ear, kisses smeared against your collarbone, your mouth, your earlobe, “amorcita, amorcita . . . ranita, let me take you.” 
He starts to use teeth, a harder nip behind his kisses, when he dips down to your chest. A wide palm with stocky fingers grasps at your breast and it’s a startling sensation for you both. 
“Soft,” he moans before licking up under the supple curve of your breast, mouthing at what his tongue missed. He slips your erect nipple into his mouth and twists it between his teeth. “Sweet,” he murmurs with your nipple firmly between his lips. 
This is unlike anything you’ve felt before. You deliriously thank the gods that he hadn’t touched you like this on the road; you would have kept him, your own wild animal, in bed without rest for days on end.
Pero plucks just as aggressively at your other breast, the spit-wet nipple that preoccupied his mouth verging on purple and aching. He cups you from the outside this time, squeezing and massaging, ringing your nipple with his tongue until your back bows and you let out a whine that has his eyes flickering up to you, the scent of wounded prey filling his nostrils. 
That whine of pleasure elongates into a whimper: “please.”
“Tranquila, ranita.” His touch is softer around your bruised tits, but he keeps one hand bagging the weight of your breast while the other slips beneath your skirt.
The pads of his fingers brush your creamy cunt and with a yelp, you grab him by the wrist, your eyes open with a familiar emotion he draws out of you: rage.
“Pero Tovar, if you value your life you will take me under the covers and put your —,”
He chuckles, his cheek against yours, nose rimming the velvet hairs on the ridges of your ear. The vibrations liquify the tension in your bones, loosening your grip. Your eyes flutter, slick obviously running down his fingers. “Ranita, I don’t think you know how you want to end that sentence..”
His words roll like honey over the heat of your skin. It makes your skin tremble. Your grip tightens on his wrist and you roll your hips, your swollen clit finally relieved by the pressure of his palm. 
“Oh, oh, Pero—,” 
With a grunt, he shuffled closer, elbow by your shoulder and he cups your entire wet cunt in his hand, pushing the heel of his palm flatter against you. You cry out, a sparkling kind of pleasure radiating out from where his hand rests. You buck your hips faster, complete release flickering through your outstretched hand. 
“Can you come like this?” You nod, eyes squeezed shut as you barrel towards escape, and you feel him shudder next to you. You are intimately aware that he’s rubbing his cock on the crease of your hip bone but that only drags you faster towards the light. “Then come, ranita, come and I’ll fuck you.” 
The wet, curling heat growing between your legs descends, then in a bright snap, explodes across your body. 
“Fuck!” You tear open your eyes to find them damp, Pero’s massive hand cupping your cheek towards him, his stallion eyes dark as his fingers drag on the soaked material of your dress, your hips slowing. 
“Amorcita, breathe.” The words are torn from his chest, all cock-suredness gone from his frantic gaze. You gulp in air, the weight of his body over yours grounding and smothering you all at once. He pulls his hand away from you, rides it up your thigh to your waist, looking for something to hold onto. He strokes his thumb once against your overheated skin and you’re wriggling up out of your dress. 
“Help,” you hiss and his fingers nearly tear the fabric off you.
With a few undone buttons, you shiver out of your dress, the slick-drenched spots catching on your warm skin. He flings it behind him, near the fireplace. 
He takes you barely beneath the thick covers before you welcome him back to the heat of your open legs. 
But instead of reeling back and plunging his aching cock into you, he takes the time to kiss you. To praise you in all the ways he fears his mouth will end up short. He kisses you, grateful, reverent – wonderful to be swallowed by but also a distraction.
When he lifts your knees by his waist, your hips automatically tilt towards him and for the first time, you feel his red, sore cock between your tacky lips. The dual sensation nearly drags you over the rack of delectably delicious pleasure, as does his worn, broken groan in your ear. 
“More, please, don’t stop.” You cry against the bristles of his beard, his hand dropping between your sweat-slick bodies, finding yours already there to guide him. The press of him spreads you open, filling you one sinking notch at a time. The sensation of your pink, dripping walls moving to take more of him in has you arching up into his chest, nails dragging into his back. His dry lips stifle the moans escaping from your mouth. 
Pero takes both of your hands in his, dragging them above your head, his fingers locking your palms together as his hips roll forward. “Cálmate, amorcita, cálmate,” he murmurs between distracted presses of his mouth against your chin, your cheek, his breathing heavy and stunted. You writhe, pinned open by his hips and his hands, his cock filling you all too slowly and not fast enough. 
With the last few inches, you take him completely, your cunt throbbing, heart pounding, intoxicated by the sensation of being so maddeningly full. Pero drapes over you, his head tucked into your neck, forearms straining with the tension of gripping your hands tightly. 
“Santa madre . . .” He is not a warrior right now. He is but a man, cunt-drunk and heaving. 
His name is pushed out of the bottom of your lungs with the first swing of his hips. You cling to him, knees at his ribs, unwilling to let even an inch of space between your bodies. But this becomes increasingly difficult as his thrusts gain speed. His flushed lips stain a sticky line against your jaw, down to your throat, and he releases your hands, the oak of the bed creaking beneath the force of him drilling down into you, he props himself up on his palms, his shoulders bent and curled over you, biceps straining, hairline damp, eyelids fluttering. The scar on his cheek is flushed pink.
“Look, amorcita, look how well you take me.”
His words tear you from your nebulous high, the grit of them forcing your head down to the obscene squelch beneath the sheets. The thatch of rough curls over his groin is drenched in slick, his thick cock soaked to the point of shine as it drives into you again and again. The heavy draft of breath the sight steals from him, the tap of his cock against a place so deep you didn’t know your body possessed, draws the spooling bliss as tight as a wire. 
Your trembling thighs squeeze him tighter, that hot pressure rendering you speechless, except for the most pathetic whine. Please, Pero, please, you think, you mutter, you whisper, your body rocking damp against the sheets. 
With a sudden snarl, he takes the chunk of your hair at the base of your head flat in his fists and tugs. A shoot of bright pain sparks bliss down to your tight and bruised nipples, and you cry out again. 
“Stop fighting, puedo sentir cuanto la quieres. Let me have it.” It is the following word that splits you open like lighting carving apart a tree. “Please.”
The wail that you release is the rush of gooseflesh over your skin alchemized into audible sound. Heat radiates through you, sucking the air from your lungs, your vision going blurry, then black as you clamp your eyes shut against the rush, the final release, that curls you into his arms. His warm, flushed arms, shaking with strain. A final wobbly thrust or two and his elbows are buckling, sweat-drenched chest pressing into your own.
Distantly, you are aware of the warm, slick drip down your thighs, his cock pulsing the last drops into your cum-flecked cunt, and the dangers this sort of intimacy poses. You can’t gather enough breath, enough sense to settle the spinning room, to worry or even care. 
Your his, and he is yours. That is all that will ever matter. 
The crackle of wood burning is the only other sound than your ragged breaths, the silent roll of sweat from sticky hot skins into the bedsheets. The stone walls of the castle’s room entomb you together for a brief stretch of infinity.
Pero moves and you think he’s going to back out of you, but instead, he merely adjusts, his head fully on your chest, thick fingers clutching your bruised waist, the shift of his cock pushing more of his release out of your oversensitive cunt. But you’ll take overstimulation over his absence every time. You run your fingers through his damp curls and he hums. 
“I’m sorry,” he huffs into your humid skin. “I’m sorry I let my pride keep us apart for so long.” 
You grin lazily to the ceiling, your breath settling as affection takes its place in your chest. 
“You were not the only one blinded by vanity.” 
“But I’m not blind. Not anymore.” He lifts his head, eyes as dark as your spilled inkwell. “I am never letting you go.” 
You smile at him, fingers soft against the back of his neck. “I don’t plan on wandering away.” 
His oil-black gaze drops to your lips and he leans forward to take your mouth against his. Gentle, but with the promise of more. 
“Mi ranita,” he purrs to break the kiss. 
“You call me that all the time, Pero. What does it mean?”
At that, a nearly shy expression crosses his face. He shakes his head, shifting onto his elbows to lift off you. “I can’t tell you. It will ruin your good mood.” 
You gasp, offended, and you grab him by the ear and twist. He chuckles through a grimace. “You will tell me what that means, Pero Tovar, if you value your appendages.” 
“Órale, princesa, retract your claws and I will tell you.” 
You release your grip and settle against your pillow. Grinning bashfully, he kisses your neck briefly.
“Remember that I love you after I tell you this.” 
Your heart nearly stops, the absence of a steady beat nearly drawing tears to your eyes but you hold firm. You breathe deeply against the fluttering in your stomach and pin him with your glare. Of course, this is how he would profess his love to you – when he’s trying to get out of trouble. 
“Tell me, Tovar!”
He chuckles again and preemptively picks up your hands. He kisses the inside of your palms, settling himself between your thighs. 
“It means little frog.” Your mouth falls open in a gasp and you struggle to yank your hands back from him, hissing like a tea kettle, but he uses his weight to press down on you. He nips at your nose. “I call you that because when you’re upset with me, much like you are now, you puff up like a bullfrog, your cheeks like this–,”
He rounds his cheeks full of air, crossing his eyes, and you simply cannot take the slight anymore. You push roughly against his gut, the breath trapped in his mouth escaping in a hot puff, and you twist him onto his back. He lets you, of course, his bold, full laughter rendering him defenseless. His body shakes beneath you, his beautiful eyes squeezed shut, his mouth open wide as he laughs and laughs and laughs. You take him by the wrists and push his limp hands over his head, pinning him as he had you. You pinch his chin with your teeth, your messy cunt over his stomach, as his laughter subsides. 
“Have you had your fun yet?” 
“Barely,” he chuckles, turning his big nose against your cheek and inhaling. He hums.
“Is that all I am to you? A joke?”
Pero opens his eyes, sober as death rattle. He takes you in, not in a hungry, all-consuming way, but in a look that speaks of awe and rapture.
“You are everything to me.”
You sigh, releasing his hands and curling into his chest. He kisses the top of your head, your eyes on the roaring fire. His thumbs rub your shoulder blades, trace the lines of your spine.
“You’re so very lucky I love you too.” 
His wandering against the expanse of your back stills, just for a moment, before his fingers slide into your hair, around the nape of your neck, holding you to him with the intention of keeping you there forever.
“I know, ranita, I know.” 
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He watches you sleep as the sky lightens beyond the tall windows on the opposite side of the bedroom. The dying fire traces your edges in gold, settling heat in the curve of your lips. 
His heart lurches with the wanting of you.
There’s more terrible things to come, he knows that. The plan the two of you concocted in the early morning hours will be dangerous, deadly even. But dying together instead of living apart would be much more tolerable, you told him earlier that night, your hand on his chest. 
He would kill if you asked. He would kill, even if you didn’t, to keep you safe and by his side. You’ve proven yourself capable of living a life away from this spectacular opulence, but it pains him to know he will never be able to give you anything nearly as lovely as the velvet dresses in the closet, the gold jewelry in your trunks. 
Instead, all he has to offer is himself. His strength, his hands, his heart. It’s his own fear that tells him that’s not enough, because you remind him again and again that’s more than you ever wanted. 
He traces the curve of your cheek with the hovering pad of his finger, brushing your hair away from your face. How he ended up so lucky with your love, he’ll never know, but he will spend the rest of his days proving that he’s earned it. 
You stir in your sleep, sensing him above you, and he hates to steal even a few minutes of blissful sleep from you, knowing the endless nights that are coming. When he steals you away from all that you’ve ever known. 
The sleepy grumble in your throat resembles his name as he curls around you, but your eyes remain gently closed. He pulls you against him, the air that leaves your mouth and sits between your chest and his something he covets with his whole heart. 
I love you and I’m disgustingly lucky and I love you. 
He is a man made of dust, serving men made of silver. He is a man of dust, loving a woman made of gold.
El orgullo? No, Abuela, his ranita will get him first, last, and every time.
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Translations:
Sana sana culito de rana. Si no sana hoy, sanará mañana. - This rhyme is typically said to children when they have just hurt themselves. The parent (or grandparent) usually rubs the part that is sore and sings this little tune. Literally translates to: "heal, heal, little frog’s tail. If you don’t heal today, you will heal tomorrow."
el orgullo - pride
dulzura - sweetness, romantic connotation
amorcita - little love, romantic connotation
Tranquila - quiet, as in "be quiet" or "relax"
Cálmate - take it easy, or take it slow
puedo sentir cuanto la quieres - I can feel how much you want it/love it
Órale - okay, or an exclamation expressing approval or encouragement.
ranita - little frog, but you knew that already ;)
the rest are cognates (or familiar words) which you can probably guess the meaning of, but feel free to message me if you don't know!
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shiplessoceans · 6 months
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I am seeing some garbage takes out there so quick reminder:
Izzy himself doesn't hold a grudge for what happened to his leg because he fuelled the fire that took it.
Izzy knows he suffered the consequences of feeding the darkness and doubt and misery he saw in Ed.
If Stede's leaving led Ed to a cliff, Izzy was the friend who should have helped him and instead he shoved him over the edge and broke him. The man Ed has known longer than anyone in his life, his 'only family', severed the last hope Ed had that he was worth anything without 'Blackbeard'.
Izzy trained a shark to viciously kill... Blackbeard says you taught him everything he knows... tormented him in his weakest moment...This is Blackbeard, Not some namby pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend...and then dangled his legs in the water. Naturally, the shark took his leg.
As Izzy says: 'Served me right, too'.
Which is why people being so furious on his behalf and acting like Ed is an abusive monster is to invalidate Izzy having any agency at all.
Do you also blame Ed for the murder of his father and think he's a bloodthirsty monster?
Or can you recognise that the cycle of abuse and violence corrupted and traumatized him and that his father shares a portion of the blame for his own death?
Perhaps it's more cut and dried in that scenario because people haven't imprinted on Ed's father?
Izzy is not blameless in the loss of his leg and he would be the first to tell you that. He is a complex human who has made mistakes and his whole arc this season was about him reconciling, owning his mistakes and being his true authentic self anyway. And he did it. Fuck yeah.
"BUT ED NEVER APOLOGISED".
Izzy wouldn't have accepted it if he had.
Ed said 'Sorry about your leg', knowing Izzy wouldn't accept a larger apology. His response was to 'fuck off' as it is. Izzy Hands will never accept a full apology or genuine word of kindness and he shut down Ed's attempts because he didn't want or need it.
Izzy's last act on the planet was to let Ed know he's sorry for breaking him. For feeding him to the darkness so he could have 'Blackbeard' to give him his purpose in life when really, Ed had needed a friend. He apologized to remind Ed that he is loveable just as he is. He wants to undo the damage he did.
To love a character is to respect his right to be a fuck-up and own his mistakes. And to let him learn to accept himself despite those mistakes.
This season made me love Izzy. And I am sad he's dead. And I love that he got to redeem himself, find family and a sense of belonging and help Ed heal when he couldn't always help himself to.
You can feel how you want to feel about the ending.
But to sit back and blast creatives for 'Doing it wrong' because you can't process your emotions without projecting it onto others?
Izzy would be disappointed in you, the same way he was disappointed in Stede for picking a fight with Zheng instead of handling his emotions about losing Ed.
"Oh Bonnet, no..."
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weebsinstash · 5 months
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When I say with my entire being in my heart of hearts that I know with certainty that this-this-this THING right here would do the absolute most unbelievable petty gross obsessive dahmer level shit to you
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He's petty he's evil he's got a childlike fascination for seeing what breaks people down and I hate him I hate him I hate him but ALSO what that dick do tho? 🤔
Mahito is the yandere over here doing shit like imprisoning you for his own selfishness and perhaps genuine affection but making you live in absolute deplorable conditions because He's Not Fucking Human And He Doesn't Even Know How To Feed You. He locks you away and disappears for an entire day and comes back with like a single can of wet dog food that he watches you eat from a squatting position like 5 inches away looking at you like Harley Quinn and the egg sandwich. Motherfucker would take all your clothes because he wants to see more of "the natural shape of you" and then doesn't understand why you start shivering. Or he deliberately keeps you like that because he wants to see how long it takes you to crack and beg him for help. He wants to see the depths of your pride as you refuse to grovel, curious of the lengths you'll go, the limits of your body against the chill
This depraved fuck will do dehumanizing little emotional experiments on you where he does shit just because he wants to see how you think and feel and what you'll do and I mean like he'll do SOME REAL SHIT. I'm talking maybe he's stalking you and you can't fight or use cursed techniques and you think he's just like, a human shaped spirit or something who's just a trickster, he's not being violent or getting you alone or anything yet, and then you come home to your apartment one day and he's literally disemboweled your cat on your coffee table and he's playing with pieces of it and says you were giving it more attention than him and sits there pouting as you scream and even tries to like touch you or hold your hand or hug you with. The fucking blood covered hands. like he would be so fucked up on purpose, "awww do you need me to hold you? You're so sensitive but i dont mind :3"
This man out here like "wdym you want me to stay away from you, all I did was kill your cat kill your mom kill your neighbor kill your best friend kill your boss' cousins' landlords' newborn baby BUT WAS THAT REALLY SO BAD 🥺" and does something infinitely worse to scare/coerce you into tolerating his presence
I'm not really uh into body horror or gore but as a side detail I feel like. Uh. There's like a legitimate risk of him actually unintentionally REALLY hurting you and has to use his powers to heal you. Like the one good thing he does is if he were to have you on death's door or like horribly injured he could just. Fix it. He twists a limb in a way he doesn't know it's not supposed to go and breaks it and then puts you back together like a broken toy while ooo'ing and aaa'ing at the way your skin stretches over the grotesque misalignment. Dare I say the horror of "him putting things that are way too big or weirdly shaped in you" also yeah he's one of the things he's putting in you and he's got a really gross like fascination with learning all about that stuff
He's really living just to see how many different ways he can make you cry and how many different emotions he can get you to display, just absolutely dedicated to terrorizing you while also chasing his own internal weird repressed desire for his own sort of belonging. You could be sitting there sobbing and he's either borderline getting off on it or he's standing there MAKING FUN OF YOUR CRIES like deadass even fake crying back to you
And the worst part is he'll do all this fucking shit to you and then the night comes and he'll still be over here like "and you'll let me cuddle you while you sleep right? 👉👈" and he'll be doing that Every. Single. Night. And what are you gonna do, try and kill yourself? Have fun risking accidentally making yourself a Curse and being stuck with him basically FOREVER
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writingseaslugs · 2 years
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Diasomnia NSFW Headcanons
Me: Don’t give Malleus a breeding kink, don’t give Malleus a breeding kink…EXTRA BULLET HE HAS ONE! I really cannot contain myself…I don’t apologize. Also might’ve been a little drunk while writing this, so I will not be taking criticism. I drank a glass of Moscato midway through Malleus, a shot of fireball/rumchata at Sebek, and a second shot midway through Silver. So you know…I did the best I could while under the influence of my bad decisions.
Disclaimer: All characters in this series is aged up. For more information about my version of this world and the type of reader you can expect, please do a quick read of THIS post. This post also has explicit content. If you’re under the age of 18, or are uncomfortable with this form of content, please skip this post. Content Warning: Marking, Edging, Oral Sex, Loss of Virginity, Body Worship, Soft Sex, Consensual Somnophilia.
Heartslabyul | Savanaclaw | Octavinelle | Scarabia | Pomefiore | Ignihyde | Diasomnia (You’re Here)
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NSFW Headcanons
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Malleus Draconia
Malleus is the biggest student at NRC…and not just in the height department. He’s pretty well endowed, and the anatomy might not be totally human, so be prepared to feel like you’re being split in half when he’s inside you. This bodes well since he has a size kink, and being a bigger presence to his lover is a huge turn-on. Watching his lover squirm when they see his size for the first time as he assures you it’ll all fit as long as you let him prep you for a while. The size kink goes both ways as well; if he has a lover who is somehow taller than him, he’s going to love being manhandled by them.
Fae have stamina for days, which means it’ll be hard to catch up with him. There’s likely never going to be a moment when he’s on top that you can keep up with his stamina. He will always manage to outlast you as he overstimulates your body until it’s almost at the breaking point. He’ll give you a break, though, and never judges since he knows you are simply a child of man. If you happen to be on top that night, though and drag him to orgasm time and time again until he’s twitching under you, you might be able to outlast his stamina. Maybe.
He is a switch, despite what others may think. Outside around others, he keeps his appearance up, but when it’s just the two, you’re on equal grounds at all times. If you want to be dominated, then say no more. He’ll have you screaming his name until you lose your voice; fucking you dumb is a fun pastime of his. If you want to be on top, he’ll let you play with his body to your heart’s content. He still is in charge during those moments, though, unless you manage to really overstimulate him or edge him until his brilliant green eyes are starting to tear up.
It’s not unheard of to leave his room with a few new bruises and scratch marks. He’ll heal them for you instantly if you ask, but honestly, he really likes how well-marked up you are. It’s never on purpose either; he just kind of loses himself sometimes and forgets how delicate humans are. He’ll apologize and kiss every inch of skin he might have injured and promise to be more careful moving forwards…unless you’re into that kinda thing.
When the mood strikes him, he’s going to have his way with you. Doesn’t shy away from public sex at all since he will be able to tell if someone is nearby and take the appropriate measures. If he wants to absolutely ravish you while he’s in class, the moment the bell rings, he’s going to find you and drag you somewhere and fuck you against the wall. Be careful what you wear around him as well. You have something on that he wants to tear off you like a present; he will with no remorse. Even if it’s your favorite underwear, he swears he will buy you fifty more of them later.
Bonus Bullet: He has a breeding kink. Not only from being a dragon fae but from being royalty and the thought of one day needing to produce an heir. He’s going to have you in a mating press, chest against his, as he tells you how good you’re taking his cock. Coming inside you several times as you go into overstimulation, fucked dumb by him, all while he wipes away your tears and tells you you’re doing so good for him. Watching his cum flow out of your abused hole and maybe even plugging you up after. Even if you are AMAB or on birth control, he’ll still do this. Seeing you so thoroughly fucked full of his cum makes him absolutely feral.
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Lilia Vanrouge
There is no doubt about it, Lilia has experience when it comes to being intimate with someone. Whether you’re experienced or not doesn’t matter to Lilia, he can still show you a thing or two. In fact, he’ll be begging to show you what he knows, using techniques that have made past partners squirm. He will have you begging for more by the end of it. His mouth isn’t just good for smart quips, after all.
Very open to kinks and honestly has probably partaken in them once or twice. If you name a kink that’s new, he’s going to be intrigued and want to test it out and see if he’s into it. If you’re really into something and bring it up, he’s more than happy to show you. He has a pretty extensive kink list that he’ll sit you down and go through to see what you’re down with trying. Biting his partner is definitely one of them, and he’s had several partners in the past swoon over his sharp teeth. If you’re willing to let him mark you with bites and hickies, he’s going to be a very happy man.
You get the best of both worlds when it comes to Lilia. You can have him be small and breedable if you want, fucking your cock or strap into him while he’s moaning and whining mess, begging you for more. Or he can take on his more mature and taller form, looking over you while your wrists are tied as he drives his cock into you. He’s happy with being a top and a bottom and will be happy if he has a partner willing to indulge with both sides. Not to say he won’t be submissive in his taller form and dominant in his smaller form. He is versatile and enjoys making his partner or himself a mess in whatever way possible.
Lilia loves to tease his partners in friendly, romantic, and sexual ways. He’ll be between your legs for hours if you let him, bringing you so close to coming only to lift away and tap his slick-coated chin, pondering out loud if he thinks you deserve to cum. If you return the favor, expect him to be overdramatic about it. He’ll be so loud with your lips around his cock, begging you to let him cum with tears flowing down his red face. Some of it’s just for show, but damn, it’s easy to rile you up even with that sight. He’s also going to edge both of you, taking his cock out of you as soon as the two of you are almost at the edge while leaning down and kissing your cheek and neck, saying, “One more time, and we can cum together.”
He’s going to adore teasing you between classes. Coming over and whispering something dirty in your ear as you pass by him. Putting his hand a bit too high on your leg while at lunch. Maybe dragging you to an empty classroom for a heavy make-out session before parting and telling, talking against your lips, that you should head to your next class. It’s a fun game of his to see how far he can take it before you’re the one grabbing him by his arm and dragging him to an empty broom closet and begging him to make you cum before you go crazy. Depending on his mood, he might just use his hands while calling you a needy little slut to get you to cum and then leave you in your messed-up underwear until after school.
Bonus Bullet: Make fun of his height, and he's going to see that as a challenge. Either he's going to take on his larger form that towers over you at 6'8" (203.2cm) and tell you how tiny you are compared to him now as he impales you on his cock. Or he's going to drag you to his room and tie you up and fuck you in his short form, edging you for hours while saying you should be nicer to short people judging by how well they can wreck you.
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Sebek Zigvolt
Sebek is…sadly, not well-versed in sex. He knows how babies are made, but his fae mother probably never sat him down for the bird and the bees, he probably never spoke to his father about it, and Lilia had just assumed he knew. Not to mention the lack of friends his age, and well…there’s some explaining to do. He’s not clueless; he knows what to do. He just doesn’t know about all the technical things, like foreplay. So it’s going to be fun to teach him all those things and watch as his face goes red when you tell him he needs to use his hands to stretch you out before he can stick his dick into you.
It might be a little awkward because he will be asking to ensure he’s doing things correctly. What kind of man would he be if he couldn’t even please his partner? So as he’s first exploring your body, caressing every inch of skin he can, he’s going to be asking what feels right. It’s almost going to be sensual as he gropes your chest, tweaking your nipples and watching as your back arches up into his touch, and he smiles, asking if that felt nice. The moment his hand goes between your legs, he’ll be a bit nervous but hearing you moaning out his name breathlessly is going to encourage him to keep at it.
His composure is going to be lost pretty fast when he’s fucking you. For once, he might be speechless as he watches your face morphing in pleasure. His entire face will be painted scarlet at the sight as he stops thrusting to admire you. When you ask him why he stopped, he’s going to stutter out an excuse before giving a harsher thrust. His hair is going to be disheveled, and the fluffy locks might even be in his face. He’s going to look absolutely wrecked when he feels your walls convulsing around you, and if he had any thought to pull out, it’ll be lost as he’s coming hard in you.
He will worship every inch of your skin. Every mole, freckle, blemish, scar…you name it. If you have curves, he’ll pinch them between his fingers and tell you how beautiful they make you. Expect to be bombarded with praise. You think his obsession with Malleus is bad? He could talk about your body, what noises you make, your expressions…he could go on for days. Just make sure to inform him not to accidentally slip up around friends when discussing you. The last thing you need is Sebek telling everyone how you are in bed and how last night your moans went a pitch higher than normal when you came, and how you left scratches all along his shoulders that he swears he’ll wear with pride and hopes they scar.
He’s a service dom to the max. He’ll always want to be on top because, again, “What kind of man would I be if I hogged all the pleasure to myself by letting you do that?”. He can be convinced, though. Ask if you can suck him off, and he might tell you it’s not necessary, but if you give him the puppy dog eyes, he’ll oblige. Watching as he bites his knuckles in an attempt to be quiet before breaking and moaning loud enough for the entire school to hear is ethereal. He’ll never ask you to do those things, but if you offer, he’ll allow it since you want to, and he has a hard time telling you no.
Bonus Bullet: No public sex. He is far too loud, and you will be caught instantly. There’s also no sneaking when you two are having sex. If it’s in Ramshackle, make sure Grim is out because even he can’t sleep through that. If it’s at Diasomnia, the dorm is going to hear you two. Lilia will chuckle and congratulate Sebek, which will make the boy beam. Malleus won’t say anything, but Silver will be visibly annoyed. Lilia might suggest that you keep your affairs at Ramshackle next time…or he could always let you borrow a gag for Sebek.
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Silver
Since Lilia raised him, he was given sex ed like a normal kid would when they reached puberty, but Lilia had drilled into Silver the importance of protection and how he didn’t want to be a gilf anytime soon. Silver took the protection part to heart and will be using a condom unless you tell him it’s okay and he doesn’t need to. He also knows a thing or two from overhearing people talk when they thought he was asleep. He’s not clueless, but experienced is another thing…thankfully he’s a quick study.
Generally, having sex with Silver isn’t really “Fucking” but more of “Making Love.” He’s going to be gentle and make you feel wanted like you’re the only thing that exists at the moment. It’s almost suffocating how the air sometimes changes when he begins having sex with you. You’re going to feel cherished and secure in his arms. He’s going to kiss you all over your body and murmur sweet nothings to you as he slowly brings you to an earth-shattering orgasm. Your entire body will feel like a live wire as you feel every vein of his cock rubbing inside you.
Silver tends to sleep over at your place more often than not, as long as Lilia assures him Malleus will be fine. So if you wake him up with kisses, he’s going to slowly reciprocate before groping your body and pulling you close enough to feel his morning wood through his pants. Slowly riding him with the morning beams of sun coming in through the cracks in the blinds is going to be the best wake-up call he could ask for. If you get tired of doing that, he’s more than happy to flip you onto the bed and slowly grind his cock into you until you’re both coming. Just be careful not to fall back asleep after that.
When the mood strikes him, he can be a bit more energetic in bed. Especially if you request him to go a little bit harder next time, he’s happy to oblige. He’ll keep fucking into you until your legs are turned to jelly. His hands touch every inch of skin as he roughly thrusts into you, pulling each orgasm out of you until your brain is short-circuiting. He might be the number one sleepy boy in the school, but his stamina is nothing to scoff at. He’s still a trained knight, and his body is up to par because of it. He can also try a lot of different positions with you, even fucking you against the cool tiles of the shower without worrying about slipping at all.
Sex with Silver is amazing, in all honesty, but the best thing is after. He’ll make sure you’re both cleaned up and then cuddle you. Normally he likes to be the big spoon so he can wrap his arms around your midsection and pull you against his chest. You’re almost like a stuffed animal for him. He’ll leave kisses along your shoulders and tell you everything he thinks about you and how much he adores you. He’ll keep this up for a while until suddenly, he drifts off and is quiet. It’s a clear sign he fell asleep, and his grip will loosen enough to turn around and face him to see his peaceful sleeping face.
Bonus Bullet: He’ll only be okay if it’s discussed beforehand and it's in a private location, but he is okay with you using his body while he’s asleep. He knows he’s got a condition of some kind, and that might leave you feeling needy at moments while he’s asleep. Not to mention he might get tired midway through sex and just fall asleep. So if you have discussed it, he doesn’t mind you using his body to pleasure yourself. If he wakes up to you riding his cock and moaning lewdly, he’ll think he died in his sleep and went to heaven somehow. Remember, though, it has to be consensual. He probably wouldn’t appreciate you doing it if it hadn’t been discussed.
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femmenature · 9 months
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happy scars.
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Pairing: Marcus Lopez x f! reader
Summary: Where Marcus gets into fights to hurt himself because he loves you to heal his wounds.
Warnings: Blood mentions, inappropriate language
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"Marcus, I'm really not surprised to see you beaten, In fact, I'd be more surprised to see you without a fucking scratch on your face than this. But this is the third time, not in a week, but in a day that you've come in with bumps all over your face. Who the fuck does this to you?" I looked at him worriedly, he looked away and cleared his throat nervously.
"No one, just…it's just that" His hands fumble with his jeans anxiously "it's complicated, lately I provoked Chico…more than I should have, on purpose."
"Oh, so this is just a game of who's more badass enough to stay with Maria" I was really pissed, nursing his wounds all these weeks over some stupid thing. "Look, I don't want any part of your or Chico's patriarchal bullshit."
"No, no, no. You're missing the point. It's not that, it was never that…it was never her." His eyes met mine. Like a click. I furrowed my brows, questioning him. "Believe me, I don't like being hit, but…since I got hurt and you took care of me, I can't stop making up an excuse or a fight to feel your hand on my face. To feel the slightest touch of my skin against yours. I am satisfied with just your hand healing my wounds. Because you also heal my heart. Don't you see? Every time I'm with you you fix something you didn't even break. And that drives me crazy." His hand came up to mine, caressed it. As he did so, he looked at me, and kissed it. "I can't stay away from you and I'm so ashamed of my desperation for your closeness that I create fights as a pretext to keep you close."
"Marcus, you don't need excuses to have me near you" I brought my face close to his as he moved his gaze to my lips "You can have me without a scratch on your face, but you still look sexy" He smiled before our lips met.
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thanks for reading! i wanted to make this deadly class character. Even though the series was cancelled I loved it and I think there is a need for more content from it. So, enjoy. Sorry if there is something grammatically incorrect, my first language is Spanish.
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windvexer · 3 months
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This is also why I don't know how to recommend spells to people because to me most spells are just:
Find a Guy who's really good at the thing (probably other people talk about how good he is)
Ask him to do the thing for you
Provide auxiliary support to make his job easier (and say please and thank you!)
And one Guy can often do a lot of things. Like, Rosemary can help with memory problems, sleep, cleansing, protection, healing, and nightmares.
So you can show up and say, "Rosemary, when I drink this tea of you, please infuse me with good memory so I can remember important details of this upcoming conversation."
Or, "Rosemary, when I hang up this sachet of you, please stand as a sentinel of my sleep and guard against bad dreams."
Or, "Rosemary, when I place your pot by the front door, please cleanse the air of all sickness that may enter, and keep the home healthy."
(And yeah, there are Techniques to this, but that's not what this post is about)
But the problem is that sometimes, the Guy might not be that helpful until you get to know him a little more and things get chill between you two. Or he might show you hidden aspects to himself that are not common and not talked about by other people.
So you can get into a situation where you've been hanging with Rosemary for a while and have a really weird dream and all of the sudden, Rosemary can make other people tell you the truth.
That's not a Rosemary correspondence and it's probably not something that other people can do with Rosemary.
But it's something you can do with Rosemary because you've gotten to know each other on a friend level.
A missing factor for me, and maybe for other people, was treating spellwork like a potion-making game where you just gather X amount of Y-aligned correspondence and if you mix enough of them you get a Potion of Y.
Like if you need protection, you just go to a correspondence list and find enough Protection-aligned plants (regardless of how they work or their personalities or attributes) and put them together in a bag and saying an unrelated charm or prayer that you say no matter which plants you put in the bag.
Which is how people end up with 50 little jars of dead plants that stay dead because they have no connection to them, still looking up what ingredients to use in which spells.
Which is fine, but it's also like... not necessarily what everyone is looking for.
So my point is that if correspondences are reduced to 4-5 purposes on a chart, then you get the correspondence brainrot which is like "which kitchen herb is a gentle cleanser, and which kitchen herb is a strong cleanser," when the reality is that if a guy can Cleanse he can show up gently or strongly in his own unique way,
And it all makes more sense by just treating him like a Guy and asking him to do what you need to do.
I genuinely think that if a practitioner is looking for something deeper and more relational in their practice, a really good way is to scale everything back and start using like one activated (evoked, prayed over, petitioned, etc.) Ally in each spell and just asking if he, as a Guy, can or wants to do something for you.
Like if you go absolutely bonkers over a good cup of Chamomile tea, what's the harm in asking Chamomile to cleanse for you? What's the harm in asking Chamomile to protect your home, or bless your sleep?
At the very least you're going to begin learning a lot about Chamomile in an interpersonal way, where you can begin understanding the "correspondence" for yourself. And you can also learn some fucking cool stuff, like, isn't it weird that when I ask Chamomile to protect my home, we all started finding little bits of cash we had lost?
Idk. Magic is just easier when more things are Guys.
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rubra-wav · 2 months
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[ Entry #10 ] What it would be like actually dating Vox hcs
A/N I love Vox, but the reality of it is that he'd be terrible for a lot of reasons and I'm not gonna sugarcoat it in here like at all.
Me when theoretically very complex but ultimately still extremely problematic character: *foaming at mouth*
I love him.. but God I also hate him... but I also love hi-
This is a long one jfc.
Cw: Nsfw - no smut but strong themes, discussion of toxic relationships, manipulation, discussion of emotionally abusive/controlling behaviour, insecure aa toxic cis man behaviour, suggestive at one point
Someone asked me what I thought he'd be like with a yes-man reader so here it is
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The worst out of the way first
The thing about Vox is that he's got a fuckton of baggage and bad traits that need desperate management, and they would sure as hell not be being managed by him on his own choice.
As his partner, you would NOT be able to be a pushover or shy away from any kind of confrontation about actions that have upset you because if Vox had a partner like this? He'd become the absolute worst version of himself in your relationship because you would not be calling him out or enforcing boundaries with him.
- He's insecure, and it's in the worst way possible.
And not in the 'aw he just needs to be loved and then he'll be healed' way. I'm talking in the 'toxic, refuses to remedy his own behaviours, becomes very emotionally abusive abt it if you don't pull up your boots and confront him abt it and make sure he actually does shit about it' way.
The fanfic community likes to portray him as a victim in the relationship with Val, and while it's true Val is certainly worse for obvious/overt reasons - He's still not just a victim in that situation. He's also terrible.
Just for reasons that are less overt and are thus overshadowed a lot. Acknowledging that doesn't make the shit Val (at least seemingly thus far. Vox side-stepped the drink being thrown pretty fast and seems accustomed to violent tantrums) does to him any less terrible, it's just the truth he's not a poor defenceless victim in that. (Vox literally goes to try use his mind control power on Val the second he seems like he's gonna damage their image then throws his lowest earners under the bus.)
- In the beginning if you aren't giving him attention at all times, do something that reminds him of Valentino even slightly, or if you do something that he just mildly doesn't like; then he will be passive aggressive or straight up aggressive as absolute fucking hell.
The second he feels slighted even a little bit, he's going to be so pissy.
- And he can't communicate for absolute shit. He thinks you are doing shit on purpose to piss him off or hurt him. This is due to his relationship with Val, but it's not him being a sad sob story kind of thing (not all around at least), he will be awful to you if you allow him to ever be just a victim who can do no wrong.
- He will project all his bs heavily onto you in the beginning with complete self awareness and no thought given to managing his own shit.
If you ask what's wrong when he's acting up he probably would be the type of bitch to go 'nothing's wrong' and will then proceed to ruminate upon it until he ends up exploding about it later on. Or, maybe he'll even do the 'you know what you've done' type of shit.
- He would probably expect you to be a mind reader and when you inevitably aren't aware of wtf is happening because he hates being emotionally vulnerable at all and can't describe what's going on properly for himself, he will be an absolute bitch about it. (Carried here from my other hc that he has a bunch of self-imposed toxic masculinity he needs to deconstruct)
- If you call him out, he will likely try to convince you he's not doing it.
- He'll become increasingly more self-aware of his behaviour you are aware of and will just be even worse because he hates that you could see something about him he doesn't want you to see.
Basically, he feels embarrassed as fuck about it, and cannot apologise because that's humiliating as all hell to him, so instead of turning inwards and dealing with his crap he then proceeds to consciously project shit onto you even when he knows he's in the wrong.
He'd rather argue the wrong point and behaviour than admit he's capable of making mistakes.
He will probably also try to hypnotise you into forgetting anything he thinks is undesirable you know about him too.
- You will need to actually teach him real consequences for his actions, but also need to be assuring him that you aren't going to do shit like Val would have or leave him for someone else and shit like that simultaneously.
He needs to essentially be taught consequences, boundaries, healthy relationship behaviour, etc. From absolute scratch. I would literally pay for this cunts therapy atp istg.
- And this is gonna be an absolute fucking nightmare because again, he doesn't want to admit that he doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and that he's in the wrong. All that interferes with his image he wants to put out at all times in your relationship with him.
He's got masks on masks. Even one for your relationship. The second that cracks in any regard, he's gonna be rushing to compensate for that, and if that doesn't work, he's gonna be pissed and most likely end up pushing that onto you.
- Speaking of image. I mentioned this in a fic, but he'd most likely be extremely controlling over your freedom to disclose your relationship, too. If he thought you would look poor as a partner for his reputation (ie. Low status, bad reputation), he'd most likely never want to publicly reveal your relationship no matter how much he loves you - he'd likely hide this completely behind you having privacy but if you say you want people to know anyway he's going to slowly become more and more overtly pissy about it.
And, if you are openly known to be in a relationship, he will be wanting to control your own image as well.
If you step one foot out of line of what he deems perfect, good lord he will be an absolute nightmare.
- Also mentioned in another post, but he would absolutely also watch you through cameras you don't know are there. Same as what he's seen doing with Val.
- He's got practically zero qualms in the beginning of your relationship with violating your privacy or boundaries if he thinks he'll get away with it/that you won't find out about it. This also likely goes for things like checking your texts, calls, and search history without permission.
- The possibility that he'd try to interfere with your personal relationships if he thought they would try drag you away from him or if they take up a lot of your attention is also pretty present.
He's an incredibly jealous person (as seen by him seeming jealous of Angel with Val of all people), so the second he sees you giving someone else positive attention? He's gonna be fucking furious.
- Again, you could not be a pushover in your relationship with him because he'd be absolutely awful. You'd have to basically be reality checking him every three seconds - it's NOT for the faint of heart and even if you're incredibly patient you will probably be going insane from it at points.
Implying you can actually get him to change tho he would become a lot better - he's gonna be fighting you on practically everything because the second he feels out of control of a situation or himself he's gonna be freaking out.
He will probably be straight up terrified if it seems like you are making him 'change', even if it's for the better and will ultimately ALSO benefit him too.
The SECOND he feels out of control of a situation in any way, he will be terrible.
- Also, if you manage to push him on the path to behaviour management this cunt will be looking smug and proud of himself as all hell the second he even slightly does what you ask and will be a bitch if you don't rain down praise on him for it. 💀
- He's so positive attention motivated it's actually pathetic lmao
With that out of the way - the slightly better/good other stuff
- Vox works fucking nightmare hours with his position in hell, and he hates not being able to be around you much so he's almost always trying to make it up to you.
- He'll be on calls with you or texting you most hours of the day (even when he probably should not be) because he's honestly clingy as hell.
If you don't like having a million notifications from someone blowing up your phone with random shit then you are not going to like being apart from him because he is chronically on his phone.
- Another thing is the gifts.
If you want a sugar daddy aa boyfriend? This is the man for you because my God will he shower you with the most expensive gifts you have ever received. New phones, cars, jewellery, clothes, so on so on.
It's bad if you don't like consumerism and want to keep devices even if newer ones come out because the second something new comes out he's getting it for you - even before it becomes publicly available to the rest of hell, it's in your hands. He wants the best stuff and only the best stuff for you. How would that make him look if his partner didn't have all the best stuff? To you and also others
- Also, the second you mention you actually want or need something? It's there right in front of you. Bro has personal delivery drones, and it will be there in under 15 minutes delivered to you or someone's getting shot.
- I've seen a few people imply gift giving is his primary love language, and it's certainly up there, but I personally think that it's more likely acts of service.
This man never does anything for anyone unless it's to keep things from being annoying to him, self gain, or damaging his image. So for him to do things for you that he knows you want from him even if he doesnt particularly want to? He is well and truly in love with you, and that would be how he'd let you know that even if he isn't self-aware of it, lmao.
He doesn't like being told to do things, but he's really good at picking up on what people want usually (unless he's being delulu) so if he notices something or you mention stuff off-hand? He'll try to do it/get it/whatever it is for you.
Material things are just material things. He's rich, it doesn't mean that much to drop thousands for him. Him actually doing things for you, though? Even if it doesn't benefit him at all? That's something else entirely.
Will be annoying asf if you don't thank him enough for it, though. Ie. "Well, you're welcome then." While pouting at you.
- As for spending time with him:
I believe he constantly wants to be alone with you and only with you when he actually has time to do so, so he only wants dates to be one-on-ond most of the time.
There aren't exactly limits upon that, though, like at all.
He's absolutely rich and has ridiculous privileges so you could be on comfy home dates where you two just stay in and cuddle after eating dinner, or seeing concerts/watching movies/etc exclusively where they are not available to just anyone, or something fucking ridiculous like eating a fancy dinner at a custom designed restaurant just for dates under a goddamn aquarium (very likely ngl)
The second he gets to show off his power, he's gonna do it with a smug grin.
- He's also extremely big on physical touch but would never admit it. I already go over this in another entry, but he's gonna have a hand on you at all times (hand on your waist, hip or shoulder, purposely brushing against you more then he logically has to be, etc)
Brief mentions of sexual stuff here
I feel like he'd love someone big on physical touch - both in a sexual way but also especially in a non-sexual way.
He's not used to getting someone cuddling him or holding his hands or literally just touching him at all without some underlying ulterior motive, so he'd probably just melt into your touch.
Also I'll link the post bc there's further takes on this in it but they are ✨️sus✨️
- He would be extremely protective of you- this can absolutely become one of the blue sections really easily- but if you're in a relationship he's gonna be constantly concerned about your safety and whether you are at risk.
I mean, you're in hell. Just about anyone could turn out to be some maniac (ironic he would think that 🤨)
Anyways, point is, you'd be safe from any other maniacs. He would give you the best security and protection probably in hell.
Another thing is that he's gonna be super paranoid at all times about whether you're safe or not. Which would probably get honestly annoying rather than endearing at a point. 💀
- Even though he's really against revealing his more vulnerable parts and what he doesn't think are desirable of himself, he's absolutely craving emotional security with someone.
So when you get him passed that? He's gonna be so goddamn clingy - even more then before lmao.
Ending note
He's an absolute nightmare who's high maintenance asf and could become extremely abusive emotionally, but he really also needs to be romanced properly for that to actually get better by a partner who won't take his bs and knows how to take him down a peg and put him in his place when he's being awful.
And definitely therapy.
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The fact that I think all this and know how much an awful person he is and still love him this much as a character has gotta indicate some sort of insanity/j
[ Masterlist ]
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moonlit-stay · 3 months
Text
· . * · ° ☆ (1:24 am)
☆ Pairing: Hyunjin x Female Reader
☆ Genre: Smut
☆ Word Count: 1.1k
☆ Warnings: Established relationship, oral (female receiving), fingering (female receiving), brief mention of hair pulling, overstimulation, unprotected sex, creampie, implied strength kink, and implied marking
☆ Other Warnings: I wrote this while out of my mind and half asleep, so it's a little all over the place
☆ Please let me know if I missed anything
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Hyunjin's live earlier has me thinking so many thoughts.
First, on a wholesome note, I miss his dance practice lives so, so much. I miss watching him dance on live for an hour or so in the middle of the night, it was truly my happy place. There's truly just something about watching him do what he loves and seeing him in his element that makes my heart happy but is also simultaneously so undeniably attractive.
Watching that live truly healed a part of me I didn't know needed healing. I just love him unconditionally :(
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My silly, pretty boy. I love him so, so much :((
Second, he looked SO good in this live. I was truly losing my fucking mind.
While I could sit here and write out my never-ending love for this man without any issue for the rest of my days, I HAVE to share the thoughts that are fucking with my head right now.
There's something about the way he walks over to the camera after he's finished dancing, heavy pants leaving his lips as he aggressively peels off layers of his clothing that has me gnawing on my fist.
He always undoes the zipper on his jacket at lightning speed, taking it off and tossing it on the floor before he rolls up the sleeves of his t-shirt to rest on his shoulders, his defined arms on full display. The way his veins bulge through the surface of his skin and run along the expanse of his arms and hands, my GOD.
He has a habit of biting on his lips and letting his tongue slide between them and rest at the corners, a knowing smirk strung across his features as he lets out a soft, breathy laugh that makes my head spin every single time, without fail.
This makes me think about how much Hyunjin would absolutely love the effect things like this have on you.
He would purposely do things to get his veins to bulge through his soft skin, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt once they were undeniably visible, or, better yet, he'd throw on a tank top before seeking you out.
He never misses the way your eyes immediately dart to his bare arms, the muscles almost putting you in a trance as you mindlessly hum along to whatever he was saying. He knows you're not actually listening, and he can help the smirk that glides across his soft lips in response. He loves watching you struggle to keep eye contact with him as your eyes quickly run along his exposed arms before snapping back to his eyes, nodding along to his words before your eyes are back on his arms almost involuntarily. He knows exactly what's going through your head, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't thinking the same.
Hyunjin loves feeling your hands helplessly grip at his bare arms as he holds you in place against his chest, his length buried deep inside you as you claw at his skin. His pace is ruthless as he fucks into you, your previous release spilling out of you and gliding down between your connected bodies. He can feel your nails almost break skin as they clutch tighter onto his arms as he harshly thrusts into you a few more times before burying his entire length inside you and cumming inside, filling you to the brim.
He loves slowly unzipping his clothes in your presence, making sure to catch your attention as he watches your head quickly snap to his general direction as he tosses his jacket onto the back of a nearby chair. He always quietly chuckles to himself when he notices how easily the sound of a zipper on his clothes breaks your concentration and plagues your mind with nothing but thoughts of him.
Needy sex with Hyunjin was your favorite.
The way he wastes no time in stripping you both of your clothes the second you walk through the door of your shared home, an evident trail of discarded clothes leading from the front door right into your shared room. The sound of him undoing the zipper on his jeans has you moaning into his mouth, your brain unable to focus on anything other than Hyunjin as you feel your back gently come into contact with your bedroom door that you didn't even notice Hyunjin close. He hurriedly pulls your shorts down your legs as he kicks his jeans and briefs off, he hooks one of your legs around his waist and pulls your panties to the side, aligning his length with your entrance before stuffing you full of him with one slow thrust.
It didn't take you long to notice Hyunjin's habit of biting his lips and his inability to keep his tongue in his mouth at times. At first, you didn't think much of it, but when you noticed it was things he also did during sex with you, it became a difficult habit to simply ignore.
Hyunjin knows this, and he uses it to tease you in certain situations that he knows he can easily get away with.
Your back arches off the bed as a moan tears from your throat, your hand laced in Hyunjin's short locks as he pulls you closer to him with his grip on your thighs. He buries his face impossibly closer to your heat, lapping at your arousal before he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking harshly as he feels your thighs shake against the sides of his head.
He adjusts one of his arms to wrap around both your thighs and hold you in place against the bed as his free hand comes to glide two fingers into your pulsing heat. You tug harshly at his hair laced between your fingers, and when he lets out a deep groan in response that vibrates against your core, you let out a scream as you cum on Hyunjin's tongue.
His fingers never still and he continues to suck harshly on your clit, even after you've come down from your high, and when your legs quiver as you thrash in his hold, whimpers leaving your lips as you try to push him away, he pulls away from your heat with his infamous smirk on his beautiful face. His breathing is labored, and you watch as his tongue darts out and drags across his lips to gather what's left of you as he crawls up your body. Once his face is level with yours, he lets out that soft, breathy laugh that has your thighs pressing together before he's leaning down to press his lips against yours, hot and heavy as he gently slots himself between your still trembling thighs.
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Dear GOD, I need him like a fish needs water.
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chvoswxtch · 4 months
Note
Girl I have been silently reading and praising your stuff from my sisters account. Like liking all you stuff for safekeeping. The whole thing crashed and now I am trying to do the whole interacting thing. I am so embarrassed and scared that my idea is shit so this I am anonymous. But listen - I check your blog every day for updates. I luv u.
Okay my request is a bit messy. But like an angsty/fluf fic with Frank and a woman who is like small but indestructible - you know like a super power or x-gene thing. You cant see any wounds on her body they´ll just heal or something. And all she wants to do is protect Frank and he is just not having it.
If this is shit and not duable I get it! And if I missed somebody writing something simular please share the link - I would love it! Rant over...sorry...and thank you <34567
hi nonnie!
firstly, welcome. there's no need to hide in the shadows, or to apologize or feel embarrassed or any of that. i'm happy you're here and felt comfortable sharing your idea with me! I actually got a somewhat similar request, so I ended up combining the two to get the best of both worlds :)
also if you're into frank x powered reader, I highly recommend @grippingbeskar! she has an entire completed series called salt, ice, and fire that is phenomenal that I can't gush about enough
I hope you enjoy!
warning: swearing, mentions of guns & blood word count: 1.4k
bulletproof.
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“What the fuck are you doing?”
“What the fuck are you doin’?”
Frank’s thick brows were angrily bunched up in the middle of his forehead, a trail of crimson slowly leaking from the cut that covered the bridge of his freshly broken nose. His jaw was harshly set and he scowled deeply at you while switching out the cartridge on his rifle by muscle memory, not even having to look down.
“I told you-“
“No, I told you to take the goddamn stairs to the roof while I took out-
“I had it under control, Frank!”
Frank scoffed and let out an exasperated puff of air through his lips while shaking his head and gesturing towards you loosely with his free hand.
“Under control my ass, look at you. If you had fuckin’ listened to me, you wouldn’t be bleedin’ right now.”
Frank’s voice had risen in volume, and the timbre of it carried through the empty space between the two of you with a subtle growl. He might have been pissed at you, but you were fucking furious with him. You’d lost count of how many times the two of you fought about the exact same fucking thing over and over, and you weren’t arguing about it with him anymore. 
The heavy sound of approaching footsteps and yells caught Frank’s attention, but as he began to march towards the open loading dock of the abandoned warehouse with purpose and a raging vendetta burning in his eyes, the metal shutter door suddenly came barreling down with a wave of your hand. It collided with the concrete floor, a loud thud echoing around the space, not only preventing Frank from getting out, but anyone else from getting in.
Frank instantly paused, snapping his head to look over his shoulder at you with an expression of pure annoyance covering his sharp features. Your eye color had shifted to an incandescent shade, glimmering like two deep red rubies caught in the sunlight. There was still a flickering scarlet glow around your right hand as you kept the door shut, and Frank could tell by the look on your face that you were incensed by his behavior, but he refused to back down anymore than you did.
Grabbing the hem of your top with your left hand, you hastily lifted it upwards just as one of the bullet holes above your right hip began to close up and heal. Frank’s narrowed gaze dropped downwards to watch, and his features softened just a sliver, only to harden once again when he looked back into your illuminated eyes. 
“I can heal, Frank. You can’t. So when I tell you I have something under control, that doesn’t mean you fucking jump in front of me guns blazing. That bulletproof vest can’t protect you from everything, and I swear to whatever God you believe in, if you pull that shit again and get yourself killed, I will find a way to raise you from the dead just to kill you myself.”
Frank didn’t visibly react to your words, even as your voice rose in a hysterical volume and filled the empty space surrounding you both. Any other person might have been fucking terrified to be alone with a woman that had glowing red eyes and could trap them somewhere with her mind. Then again, anyone else probably also would’ve been scared shitless to be alone in a room with the Punisher himself. 
But Frank wasn’t afraid of you, just like you weren’t afraid of him. You both knew what the other was, and you loved each other anyway.
That was the root cause of your recurring argument. Frank wanted to protect you, and you wanted to protect him. Despite him knowing about your abilities, he still felt responsible for you. He didn’t like seeing you get hurt, even if it did heal. He didn’t want anything to happen to you if he could prevent it.
Letting his rifle drop by his side, Frank let out a deep exhale through his broken nose, his eyes wandering over your figure slowly before meeting your gaze.
“You know how much I hate seein’ you get hurt, baby. You know what it does to me.”
The sudden change in his voice to a softer and more sincere tone had your eyes shifting back to their natural color, and your previous anger began to instantly cool. You did know. If someone so much as bumped into you on accident, Frank was ready to tear them to shreds. He had always been extremely overprotective of you, and knowing his traumatic past, you couldn’t blame him, or stay upset with him for very long.
Letting out a soft sigh of your own, you ran one of your hands through your hair before taking a few steps towards him, your heeled boots echoing along the cement floors. Despite the three inches of height they gave you, Frank still towered over you completely. The size difference between the two of you was nearly comical, especially considering he was the “big and scary” one.
But you were the little witch that had a nasty temper.
“You think I enjoy seeing you get hurt? I’m the one who has to fix you up, remember?”
Neither one of you paid any mind to the incessant banging on the shutter door, or the sound of ricocheting bullets and yelling coming from the other side. When you brought your hands up to gently grab Frank’s face, he leaned down to nuzzle into your palms and instantly melted into your touch, his attention solely focused on you.
“I know.”
Brushing your thumb lightly along the violet bruise that began to bloom on his right cheekbone, you took in the cut along the bridge of his nose and frowned softly with a sigh.
“Your nose is broken again.”
“Ain’t the first, won’t be the last.”
“Can I try something?”
Frank arched one of his thick brows in question, glancing over his shoulder momentarily at the shutter door before looking at you again.
“Right now?”
“You have somewhere to be?”
Rolling his eyes, Frank let out a soft chuckle and gave a slight nod of his head.
“Alright. S’pose they ain’t gettin’ in no time soon.”
A proud smirk was all you offered in return to his comment. Taking a deep breath, you removed your right hand from his face and let your index finger hover over his wounded nose. Focusing intently, your hand was once again glowing, and you traced a crimson line in the air from the top to the bottom of his nose. All of a sudden, the cut on the bridge of his nose sealed up, and the indigo patches that had blossomed around it vanished.
Frank blinked a few times in dumbfoundment, wiggling his large nose and glancing down at it in a mixture of confusion and awe. Your own eyes widened in surprise, and your mouth hung open in shock before your lips parted into a wide grin. Frank looked at you, his features twisted up in wonder and puzzlement.
“Holy shit. How the hell did you do that?”
“I…I don’t know. I just…wanted to see if I could, and…focused really hard. I can’t believe it actually worked!”
Frank stared down at you incredulously when you said that.
“The hell you mean you can’t believe it actually worked? You didn’t know it would? What if you had given me a tail or somethin’? Or put my ass where my nose was?”
“Oh, well then I could never kiss you again.”
Frank actually looked offended by that, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his expression while you gently patted his shoulder and stepped around him to face the shutter door, brushing your hair off your shoulders.
“Alright big guy, let’s wrap this up. I’m starving, and there’s a Gilmore Girls marathon waiting with our name on it.”
Frank’s plush lips pursed in an adorable pout as he cocked his rifle and aimed towards the shutter door, keeping his narrowed gaze locked on you.
“You and I are gonna have a serious talk ‘bout this magic shit when we get home.”
tags: @day-dreaming-goddess @kdogreads @heimtathurs @mars-rants-a-lot @casa-boiardi @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @hazallem @avencol @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @mattymurdock1021 @bubuslutty @ninejlovebot @purrrfect @pennylovey @firesunflamed @oscarisaacsleftknee @ameliaswife @vane28282 @kmc1989 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042 @utterlynuts
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iouinotes · 4 months
Text
Show-off | Mike Ross
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pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader
show: Suits
genre: smut word count: 2,9k
summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.
a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-
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Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.
Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.
"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.
"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.
"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.
"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.
I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.
"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.
"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.
"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.
"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.
"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.
"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.
"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.
"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.
"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.
"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.
"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.
"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.
Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.
~~~~~
I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.
So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.
As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.
"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.
"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.
"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.
When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.
"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.
It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.
We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.
"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.
"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.
"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.
"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.
"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.
"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."
He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.
When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.
"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.
"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.
"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.
"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.
At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.
But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.
"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."
He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.
"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.
"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.
"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.
"I would notice."
When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.
"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.
We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.
My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).
"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"
Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.
His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.
"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.
"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.
"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.
"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.
When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.
He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.
"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.
"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.
"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.
"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.
"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.
"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.
"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.
"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.
"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.
"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.
Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.
I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.
I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.
"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.
One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.
"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.
"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."
When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.
His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.
"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.
"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.
Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.
"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.
He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.
"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.
"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-
I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.
"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.
"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.
I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full
When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.
He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.
We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.
"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.
"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.
The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.
It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.
Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.
"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."
But he is still a show-off.
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trans-cuchulainn · 20 days
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let's be more positive about books for a while! here are some queer historical romance novels that i've been rereading recently that i think do something interesting with making characters feel historical in their mindset and worldview, but are also fairly progressive, diverse queer books that are, frankly, a delight to read
this is by no means exhaustive and to be honest i could put almost anything by cat sebastian or kj charles on a list like this so this is purely the highlights of what i've reread in the past week to take my mind off work, and why i think they're interesting from this specific angle
cat sebastian, the ruin of a rake (turners #3)
this is technically the third in a trilogy but they're only very loosely connected, so you don't need to have read the others if you don't care about knowing who all the background characters are. the others are also good though
why it's interesting: features a character who has had to painstakingly study and learn the rules of polite society in order to claw his way up to respectability, and is now deploying those skills to help another man repair his reputation. shows the complexity of those rules, the social purposes they serve, and the work that goes into living by them, as well as the consequences of breaking them. also explores some of the financial side of aristocracy, and features a character with chronic illness (recurring malaria following repeated infections as a child in india) whose feelings about his illness are very relatable without feeling overly modern.
kj charles, society of gentlemen series.
this trilogy is closely related plot-wise and best read in order. all three explore cross-class romances and characters struggling to reconcile their political views and personal ethics with their desires, in the aftermath of the peterloo massacre, with a strong focus on the political role of the written word. first book is long-lost gentleman raised by seditionists / fashion-minded dandy teaching him to behave in society; second book is tory nobleman submissive / seditious pamphleteer dominant who've been fucking for a year without knowing the other's identity; third book is lord / valet and all the complicated dynamics of consent there with a generous side-helping of crime.
why they're interesting: close attention to the history of political printing and the impact of government censorship and repressive taxes on the freedom of the press; complex ideological disagreements that aren't handwaved as unimportant; examination of trust, consent, and social responsibility across class differences and in situations with problematic power dynamics; most of the characters are progressive for their time without feeling like they have modern attitudes. the second book, a seditious affair, deals most strongly with the revolutionary politics side of things, but all tackle it to some extent.
kj charles, band sinister.
look i'm probably biased because this might be my favourite KJC. it's a standalone about a pair of siblings: the sister wrote a gothic novel heavily inspired by their mysterious and scandalous neighbour whose older brother had an affair with their mum (causing scandal); the brother is a classics nerd. the sister breaks her leg on a ride through their neighbour's estate and can't be moved until she heals so they both have to stay at the house and find out if the neighbour is really as scandalous as he seems.
why it's interesting: discussion of atheism and new ideas about science and creation (very shocking to the brother, who is the viewpoint character); details of agriculture and estate management via main LI's attempt to grow sugar beet, as well as the economics of sugar (including references to slavery); "unexpurgated" latin and greek classics as queer reference points for a character who nevertheless hasn't quite figured out he's queer; material consequences of society scandal
bonus: wonderful sibling dynamic and a diverse cast including a portugese jewish character, which i don't think i've seen in a book before
i will add to this list as i continue to reread both of their backlists! (bc i have read them all enough times and in close enough succession that they blur together in my head unless i've read them very recently)
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frozen-waters · 6 months
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people do not understand how hard it was on the women in the camp and why they act the way they do and I’m tired of them getting hated on
Sadie Adler is allowed to be upset. she lost her husband, her home, everything, and has to adapt to the life of an outlaw all while still grieving and healing. she also has to share the same living space with the man who burned her house down to the ground and threatened to kill her. and even aside from Micah, she still isn’t treated all that fairly, being expected to do the more feminine chores around camp instead of being able to go out and hunt and rob. and she’s taken into the gang while it’s deteriorating so things just continue to go downhill and she loses one of the few friends she had made along the way at the very end.
Abigail Marston is allowed to be upset. she was a working girl at a very young age and was taken into a gang where her only real purpose at the time was to satisfy some of their sexual needs. and then she gets pregnant with Jack and her entire situation becomes more permanent. but then the father of her son ran away for a year and she was still surrounded by people who thought highly of him, she still had to do some sort of work either inside or out of camp, and I really think Susan was the only woman in camp who would know anything about pregnancy even if she had never been pregnant so the birth of Jack (and probably most of the pregnancy) was probably overlooked by most of the men excluding the ones like Hosea, Arthur, and Dutch. and then for John to return and claim that Jack isn’t his can only lead for her to have more emotional turmoil. and she couldn’t just leave the gang, she had nowhere to run to, a son to take care of, no job, and also a very limited amount of freedom. the gang moved a lot, the gang got into trouble a lot, there was always the fear that something would go horribly wrong and they’d loose a handful of people or that the law would finally show up. or that something would somehow happen to her son. we can see in the game how protective she is over him and how she’s still trying to get John to believe he’s his son. there’s also one interaction in the game where we hear Susan saying she should get back into the field of prostitution just to get some more money. one of the characters we see her closest to is Hosea, he’s a friend to her and had been the one to step up as a role-model for Jack and has spent more time with him in a day than John has in a month, so in chapter three when Hosea dies, it doesn’t get any easier for Abigail. AND HER SON LITERALLY GETS FUCKING KIDNAPPED???? she didn’t know if she’d ever even see her son again, and she does not owe John any kind of ‘thank you’ for rescuing their son. and we see the game where the gang is falling apart, characters die, people are tense and anxious, money is seemingly short no matter how much you donate, and her and her son are in what seems to be a situation they can’t escape from. I do not know every single thing she’s been through and have probably skipped over some details, but Abigail has not had the best experience in the gang.
Molly O’Shea is allowed to be upset. I already talked about her some here, but some people (@river-of-wine , @sweetybees , @dazednstoned) added things in the tags. Molly is promised a life of excitement and adventure from before the beginning of the game by Dutch, he isolates her early on so he’s really the only person she has a connection with in the gang, making her dependent on him. people in the gang and in REAL LIFE TOO are more often than not on Dutch’s side when it comes to Molly. as soon as we start chapter three Dutch becomes bored of her, already seeking out some other woman inside or out of the gang to rope into his life and his gang. so as literally any normal woman would feel, she is upset. she has no support group in the gang because of her isolation early on and the fact that most of the other women in the gang don’t care for her because she never had to do the work that they had to because Dutch made sure she would t have to. she has pent up emotions that lead to “outbursts” which only annoys the other gang members and causes her to isolate herself even more. Molly was a victim. she was not a bitch, she was not asking for too much, she was not undermining the situation, she just wanted Dutch to do the bare minimum for her.
being a woman in a gang in a world run by men was not easy. there are hundreds of other women in fiction and real life that have lived through these experiences, and the women in the VdL gang have it better than most cases, but they still don’t have it good. and this isn’t even to mention about how the world outside of the gang treated women (especially prostitutes and immigrants) at the time. a majority of the women in the VdL gang didn’t come to a good end, Abigail suffered throughout the gang, Molly and Annabelle got shot because of Dutch, Susan was Dutch’s ex and definitely suffered from his manipulation, I don’t really know about Bessie because she died of an illness and Hosea most likely treated her amazingly but she probably also went through some ordeals. the only women of the gang who really got out of the gang safe were Tilly and Mary-Beth.
Mary Linton is another thing, she does not deserve hate for leaving Arthur to live a better life, she did the smart thing by not marrying and running away with him because who knows what could’ve happened to her. I do not appreciate how she used Arthur’s emotions against him in the game and think that that is why she is a bit of a bad person, but she lived a better life than she ever would have if she was an official member of the gang. she got out before she was ever even in.
I can’t stop you from not liking characters, I’m not the biggest fan of Sadie but I can understand the hardships that all of these women went through.
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ronearoundblindly · 22 days
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Kissing, lighting and sleepy sex for Hideout Steve and Reader?
I am not prepared. My feels...they shall be too deep and endless. I shall try anyway.
From this dirty ask game for this AU series where Nomad Steve lets motel-employee!Reader soothe his touch-starved body. Lawd, halp me, this is about to get crunk in a tooth-rotting, put-some-pillows-beneath-you you're-gonna-faint type o' way. [y'all can't tell I drank during the eclipse today, right? I'm subtle? Cool.] MINORS DNI.
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K - Kissing
ACK My heart! Or rather, there is something deeply adoring for Steve when you kiss his chest, over his heart. It makes him feel just that much more like a person who lives in this world, who belongs in this world, who will return one day to this world...
His hands are also a big one--no, not just actually big hands, but important to show love to because he uses them for such violence. Each kiss is like a little touch of forgiveness for what he's done or had to do with those hands. He appreciates the trust it takes, too, to kiss his palms, when he could easily stop you breathing (sorry, that sounds dark, but Nomad was in a dark place, okay, bad things occur to him now).
Steve loves to kiss your stomach, and it might be somewhat taboo to say, but he has a touch of that crawl-back-home-for-safety comfort thing going on when he presses close and holds your center to him. It's not a mommy kink or roleplay, per se; he relishes the connectedness of being one and curling up against you is the only non-sexual way he knows how to achieve that--like in Chapter 3 when he falls asleep in that position.
As far as leaving marks though? Steve can emphatically say 'hell no,' not on purpose. Pain is a bit, meh, weird for him because he heals so quickly. He might not even notice if you did bite or bruise him. He certainly wouldn't see it in the morning. He does not in any way associate marks with love or affection since he only ever saw them on himself after fights or on women (including his Ma) after being abused.
That is not love to Steve.
It's control, it's dominance, it's inequality, and he fucking hates it.
L - Lighting
Steve entirely defers to you on whether there are actual lights on or off. He likes to use his senses to explore and enjoy you, so without light is fine. He's just here for you.
Steve does, however,--no spoilers for Chapter 5--like ambiance such as candles or something dim and colorful. He thinks you'd look unbelievably perfect beside a sparkling Christmas Tree. He hopes to celebrate (all holidays and birthdays and everything) openly with you some day. The sooner the better.
(Except, no audience for him making love to you under those twinkling lights, please. He's staunchly opposed to that sort of thing.)
S - Sleepy Sex
So, again, no spoilers for Chapter 5, but once Steve gets comfortable with oral sex he is comfortable with oral sex, if you catch my drift.
If he wakes up first, he's on you in some way, arms and legs draped over you, kissing any place he can get to, man-handling you just enough to start something he 100% will finish. He's just...uh god, so attentive.
With the super senses and being a fugitive though, it's not often that you can wake up before him, truly, which limits or completely removes the ability to surprise him with a blowjob, but he will dreamily let you roam wherever your mouth and hands take you. As long as there's lots of contact. As much as possible really. Like lay your arms across his thighs and abs while playing with him. Maybe put your body over one of his legs and ride his foot if you need to. He must feel attached in some way. Cold, distant, or separated does not do it for him.
Here's my absolute, I-will-die, favorite thing about Hideout Steve though: when he's tired/fatigued/worn out/sleepy, he gets louder.
Much. Much. Louder, babes.
No cursing, mostly, but all the moans and groans and whining are totally dialed up. And I don't know about y'all, but I can't really think of anything fucking sexier than Nomad Steve screaming that he's gonna come.
🥵
Thank you for asking!
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A/N: Here lies Ro in a puddle. She made up a man she wants and will never have.
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[Main Masterlist; Hideout Masterlist; Ko-Fi]
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