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generaltrashshecox · 7 months

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Kinktober 2023 Day 25:

Human Furniture | Pregnancy | Edgeplay (Damien/Anthony)

A continuation of the Day 8's breeding story because I thought it'd be interesting! Hope you enjoy!

Edit: this one got away from me again and it's sorta cliche but oh well lol!

Anthony left after that day without a word and things went back to normal. Or as normal as they could be. Damien called his doctor after that and was scheduled a check up. It was two weeks after and he found out he was pregnant which he was near tears about holding his belly gently. What he didn't expect though was to be pregnant with twins and he couldn't stop his jaw from dropping when he found out. He blamed Anthony for being potent but he already loved the pups that were growing inside him. He announced it at work and everybody congratulated him while he and Anthony exchanged silent glances. Clinical with no feelings. No strings attached. Those words rattled around his head. But now it felt like a spiderweb that he couldn't get himself out of.

At 6 weeks he started to show. At 10 he was starting to get annoyed. Pregnancy wasn't anything he couldn't handle but it just made all his sensitivities even more sensitive which led him to be overstimulated more often than not. Everybody tried to help, Shayne especially being his best friend but he had his own omega to take care of. Him and Ian had barely come back from parental leave so they still had a lot on their plate but he definitely appreciated it. Even Anthony helped but he felt like it was just to show he wasn't an asshole ignoring a pregnant omega. He didn't notice the way his eyes lingered on the swell of his tummy.

At 14 weeks Anthony went into rut. Which he wouldn't have cared much about if he didn't call him in the middle of the night begging to come over.

Anthony knew his rut was coming, could feel the itch under his skin which is why he took the week off. When it hit he had a toy at the ready knotting it over and over but he seemed to be insatiable even for his rut. After the 15th knot of the day he decided that wasn't working and called one of his omega fuck buddies to come over. They agreed but told him he owed them for what he was gonna do to them and he grumbled in agreement. They made it to his place quickly letting themselves and when they did he was hit with their scent... Making him gag. It was too strong sickeningly sweet and he apologized and told them to leave. They cursed at him for making them waste time but he waved them off as they stomped back to their car.

After they left he tore through his house looking for all the omega scented things he had that he used for the occasion. Each and every one made him sick to his stomach and he started to wonder if something was truly wrong with him. As he was scouring through his shit he was finally met with a smell that didn't seem to assault his nasal passages. It was deliciously sweet almost earthy with a tinge of omegan heat but he couldn't remember the last time he- then it hit him. Tea with a hint of citrus... He followed the smell to an unpacked backpack. The one he'd had at Damien's house. He swallowed thickly as he opened it pulling out a shirt that hadn't been washed in months and reeked of heat. He brought it to his nose and moaned as the smell went straight to his dick.

Why? Why was Damien's smell the only one he could tolerate? He didn't know but in the moment he didn't care, feeling like he finally found some relief as his hand found its way back to his cock. He stroked himself nose buried in the shirt deeply inhaling getting almost lost in it. As he did he couldn't help but imagine him, the omega that was now round with his pups. He recalled how beautiful he was underneath him whining so prettily as he begged for more face flushed mouth hanging open. How he felt so good around his knot taking every inch and every load so wet and needing more... Remembered how he said he loved hi- he came with a grunt his inner alpha whining for their omega as he pulsed in his hand. He hushed the animal taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"He is not our omega," he said through gritted teeth. The alpha bristled. Then why is he pregnant with our pups? a thought chided him. He sighed worn out but already feeling the itch and the need thrum under his skin. "It's our job. He's no different," he said sternly but his heart stung at the words. When did that happen? He shook his head. "What's so special about him anyway?" Strong, independent omega. So sweet and nice and pretty. Perfect for us. Already giving us two pups. Anthony rolled his eyes.

"They're not ours!" he yelled exasperated. He must've been exhausted as he was practically arguing with himself. He sighed burying his head in his hands. He dragged himself off the floor and onto the bed taking the shirt with him. He was drained eyes closing before he could stop it.

Anthony woke back up to the itch, the deep seeded need to breed cock hard and leaking already. Still half asleep instincts took over nostrils smelling the most delicious omega scent as he mounted and pressed inside. He growled burying his face in the scent as he rutted into them roughly. His body ached as he fucked harder and harder teeth aching to bite to claim as he opened his mouth biting down on softness feeling the smell on his tongue and he came with a groan. He thrust a few more times before falling to the side. After a few deep breaths he finally came too and looked beside him and groaned. The shirt has somehow found its way onto a pillow that was now leaking downy from his bite mark and covered in cum.

"That was a nice pillow," he grumbled under his breath. Then another wave on need hit him and he growled. This was getting to be too much and he debated whether or not to call him...

Damien was still awake because of course he was. His insomnia had gotten worse and he laid in bed staring at the ceiling. He was rubbing his belly thinking about the future, wondering what his pups would look like. Would they have Anthony's features? He was worried they would, very much so as he was potent enough to get him pregnant with twins. How would he be able to explain if his pups had the same dark hair and eyes as his boss? He sighed rubbing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. As long as they were happy and healthy he would deal with the consequences later.

"I can't wait to meet you my loves," he whispered to his belly. His eyes started to droop finally tired enough to sleep when his phone rang. He ignored it needing rest and it finally went quiet... Before it rang again much to his annoyance. He sighed and checked it to see "Boss No. 2" and groaned. Why was he calling in the middle of the night? He answered begrudgingly.

"Hello?" he said slightly annoyed and there was a sigh of relief on the other line.

"Thank god Dames I need your help," he said almost desperately. Damien tried to ignore the flutter as he called him that nickname. He sighed.

"What do you need?" he asked deadpan. He was tired and he really didn't want to deal with this but he couldn't just ignore him... There was silence on the other line. "Hello?" he asked the quiet. He heard him gulp.

"I was wondering if uh... I could come over," he said softly. What? Damien swallowed.

"Uh... Why?" More silence, save for breathing, before he cleared his throat.

"I uh... I'm in rut. And the only smell I can tolerate is yours and I can't stop thinking about you," he said. It hit him like a wave cascading down his body. His inner omega screamed wanting their alpha to come to please take care of them but he pushed that down. His heart was also begging and so was his body remembering how good he felt already starting to slick. Damn hormones- he shook his head.

"I-" he paused trying to collect himself. "I don't know," he whispered into the line.

"Please? I need you," he said and Damien felt weak. He was pregnant, tired, and now horny. He felt like he would regret this but he couldn't help himself.

"Okay," he found himself saying. No turning back now.

"Thank you thank you," he said gratefully. "I'll be over in a few okay?" He nodded before realizing he couldn't see.

"Alright," he said softly. Click. Now he waited as he cradled his belly hoping he wouldn't regret it too much.

Once Anthony got the okay to come over he sped over there as fast as he could. It wasn't long until he was parking in the spot in front of his apartment. He practically jumped out of the car body thrumming with need. He walked up to his place and knocked on the door. He heard rustling and Damien finally opened the door revealing himself and his breath caught in his throat. His scent hit him first igniting the need even more but the way he looked... Practically glowing in a simple robe bump showing just a bit. He was a beautiful omega.

"Uh- come in please," he said gently and Anthony was snapped out of his thoughts as his legs automatically carried him inside. The door closed behind him and Damien fidgeted nervously. His smell was strong and heady and already making his mind a little mushy but he tried to stay strong even as he started to slick from just the proximity. He could smell it sweet and intoxicating, brain starting to go into autopilot around him. He walked up to him putting his hands on his stomach stroking it gently before moving to his waist pulling him closer as he gasped. He bent and buried his face in his neck deeply inhaling his scent and the grip on his waist tightened.

"Omega," he growled in his alpha voice and Damien couldn't help but shudder inner omega screaming to submit. And so he did tired and tired of being alone baring his neck even more to him.

"Alpha," he replied back. Anthony grunted at that before scenting him rubbing his neck against him. He pulled away and pressed his lips to his kissing him softly and he couldn't help but kiss back. The hands on his waist went lower grabbing his ass and bringing him closer making him whine into the kiss. They snuck back around snaking under his robe surprised to find bare skin underneath as he pulled away. He looked at him questioningly.

"Just thought I'd make things easier," Damien said face flushed and he groaned.

"Such a clever little omega," he said before kissing him again just a bit harsher. He wrapped his arms around his neck, hands burying in his curls once more as he melted into it. He felt those hands hold him gently before running down to his thighs lifting him gently. He pulled away nervously.

"Wait I'm too- you can't-" he stuttered not knowing what to say mind racing. Anthony hushed him.

"I've got you," he said simply carrying him to the bedroom. Damien just buried his face in his neck. He laid him down on the bed gently undoing the string that kept the robe together letting it fall to either side of him. He was gorgeous almost like a painting all pale soft skin flushed pink and practically glowing as the swell of his stomach was prominent. The alpha purred at that at how strong their pups were growing as he nuzzled into his tummy pressing kisses there.

Such a good alpha, the omega said and Damien just tried to breathe. Anthony finally pulled away looking at the slick between his thighs and he pulled them apart staring at him hungrily. He remembered the taste on his tongue and he leaned down lapping at it again groaning as it was better than he even remembered even more intoxicating.

Damien groaned as he pressed his tongue inside practically thrusting down onto it already so sensitive. It'd been awhile since he'd even felt the urge to touch himself but now he felt like his nerves were on fire for it. Maybe it was because of the rut messing with his brain or maybe he just wanted Anthony... He pushed that out of his head as he gripped the back of his head.

"Anthony please," he moaned tugging at his hair. His mouth was amazing but he just wanted his knot, wanted to get this over with as soon as possible so he could already deal with the consequences of letting him back into his bed. He pressed in one last time before pulling out and nipping at his thigh.

"What do you need, sweetheart?" Anthony asked softly though his body was begging to fuck the omega already.

"Your knot please I know you need it too," Damien said heatedly. He wasn't wrong his cock was throbbing with the need to be inside him already. He sat up pushing down his pants stroking himself over him. He stared wide-eyed at it forgetting how big he was trying to keep his breathing even. He could smell the hint of fear from him and he stroked his thigh.

"Don't worry. We'll be gentle," he said as he started to line himself up. He pressed the head of his cock against his entrance feeling how sopping wet he was from his tongue and his own arousal. He pressed in slowly carefully letting him adjust as he needed. It was almost torture as he was so tight and wet he wanted to fuck into him roughly but his thoughts reminded him of the pups that were growing inside of him. Anthony couldn't help himself though when he was close to the end and just pressed it all inside at once.

"Fuck!" Damien cried out feeling so full so good. He felt that he was already close as Anthony stretched him open hitting all the right spots it was almost embarrassing. He blamed it on hormones and not being able to get off in awhile because as soon as Anthony pulled out slightly and thrust back in he was cumming hard. It was so intense he shook with it as he covered his face with his hand while Anthony cooed.

"Was my omega pent up?" he asked and Damien tried not to preen at being called his figuring it was just rut talk. He was so much wetter now as he pressed into him again and again feeling as it dripped down his balls. "You were weren't you? Don't worry, alpha will take care of you now," he said and he thrust just a bit harsher. He moaned already starting to get hard again, refractory period nonexistent due to his rut mixing with his hormones and he pressed against his thrusts.

"Harder," he whined and Anthony looked at him concerned. "I won't break and the pups will be fine just please," he begged and he couldn't say no. He pulled out and slammed back into him hands flying to grip at his shoulders nails digging in. "Yess," he hissed throwing his head back against the bed exposing his neck and Anthony leaned down to kiss his open throat. He fucked into him over and over as one hand gripped his hip and the other went to his swollen and sensitive chest pinching and pulling at his nipples making him overwhelmed. His scent was invading his nostrils making him dizzy as he continued to kiss and nip at his neck.

"Look at you pretty omega already round with my pups. Want to give you more so many more," he said as his tongue laved over his scent gland. Damien shuddered at that head feeling fuzzy thinking that sounded amazing... Then he felt teeth on his neck snapping him back to reality. He remembered what this was just another transaction eyes welling up again as he pushed him from his neck to his surprise. It was his rut making him think that and he didn't want him to do anything he'd regret.

"You don't mean that just... Just come already and get it over with," he said no longer having fun the bandage on his heart ripped off once again leaving him wounded. The back of his eyes were stinging again and as much as he tried to will them away he was crying while Anthony was inside him again. He hated this, hated it with a passion. Why had he done this to himself again?

Anthony paused seeing his distress and brought a hand to caress his face wiping his tears away. He was crying even harder now blaming it on the hormones and his stupid past self for getting him into all this in the first place. He gripped Anthony tighter wishing he wanted this wishing he wanted him but he knew better. His heart broke as he watched him sob wondering what did he want... He sent pheromones to calm him once again and it stopped the sobbing but the tears kept coming. He pressed his forehead to his swallowing thickly in fear. He wanted him but he was afraid. He wasn't exactly a great guy but he wanted to be wanted to be for him for their pups... He kissed him gently and he couldn't help but kiss back almost desperately.

"I want you, Damien," he said softly against his lips after he pulled away. Damien shook his head not believing it but he stopped him. "I do. I've watched you this whole time watching how strong you are to do this by yourself. You chose this because you wanted it and took charge of your life. You're strong and resilient and beautiful and so fucking funny I think you give me a run for my money," he said with a chuckle.

"You pick yourself up after everything you've been through and aren't bitter about it you're so sweet and adorable with all your plushies and cute shit covering your desk and you work so hard-" he realized he was rambling. "What I'm trying to say is that you're an amazing person and any alpha would be lucky to have you but... Would you let me have you?" Damien blinked at him weary.

"Why now?" he asked gently.

"Cause I'm an idiot," he said simply. He couldn't help but smile.

"That's obvious," he said but his face fell again. "How do I know you mean it? I don't want you to regret this," he said sadly. He kissed him again gently.

"My head is the clearest it's ever been in the past two days. I know I want this," he said emphasizing it by pressing into him making him moan. "My alpha chose you and so do I," he said nuzzling into his neck again.

"Okay," he said softly. He pulled back to look at him seeing his reservation and fear but also trust. He trusted him and it made his alpha preen. He kissed him again before pulling away. He started to thrust into him again softly slowly letting him feel all of it as he clung to him.

Anthony lapped at his neck before pressing a kiss to the mark there now. Damien was just panting into his neck his scent now intoxicating and he pulled away making him whine. He chuckled.

"Pretty omega full of my pups already. My omega," he whispered and Damien whined pulling him in for a kiss. Their tongues danced lazily as Anthony gently rutted into him getting close as his knot started to swell pressing against him. He pushed back against it wanting it and he pressed it inside as he groaned and he swallowed the noise. He trailed kisses from his mouth to his neck mouthing over his scent gland as his fingers buried in his hair. He nipped at it before stopping.

"Are you ready omega?" he asked gently and he nodded pulling him ever closer. He finally opened his mouth and sank his teeth into it as Damien saw stars. His taste filled Anthony's mouth as he presented his neck to him as well wanting to seal the bond. Barely coherent working off instinct Damien bit down as well groaning as he did and they came hard together, knot swelling.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby," he said softly collecting him and pulling them to the side. Their legs intertwined Damien laid his head on Anthony's chest brain fuzzy and neck sore but in the best way. He giggled not being able to help it and nuzzled into it. Anthony's tattooed hand found its way to his stomach rubbing it gently as his eyes started to droop exhausted.

"Can't wait to see you pups," he said softly and Damien hummed in agreement as he cradled his belly. There was still a nagging part of his brain terrified this was a mistake but he pushed that away for the moment focusing on the now and hoping it would work out in the end.

#kinktober #kinktober 2023 #pregnancy kink #antmien #anthony x damien #anthony/damien #smosh fic #my writing #omegaverse

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starlight-time-machine · 3 months

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Week in Review

02/25/2024 – 03/02/2024

Sunday

Week 3 of missing Cipher Academy.

Girl Meets Rock is getting really good…I love Rin’s Machiavellian schemes and the tense dynamic between her and Momo, who’s rightfully mad at being used as a pawn. And even though the story seems to be moving towards a Bocchi-like “we have some obstacles in our way but we’ll overcome them and be a professional-level band” story, we did get like five falling-outs and disbandments, which satisfies my need to see an accurate depiction of how high school music groups almost inevitably fall apart (I may or may not have vaguely bitter memories of certain independent high school choir groups…but I digress). Now I’m just waiting to see if they’re going to play Hato’s singing straight or have her be really bad but suited for metal screaming or something.

Undead Unluck had an amazing lore drop, but I definitely needed the comments and Twitter to jog my memory as to its importance. The fight continues to be dynamic, and I love the new designs. Reading UU is such a treat, as it’s just strength after strength.

Oshi no Ko is…I get that it’s a serious subject, but it feels like the characters are just lecturing me about things I already knew lol. And the comedic turn to keep things light didn’t go over as well in this chapter, I feel, since the earlier speech had such a feeling of “reality” to it. And then the ending….lmao…well, let’s see where they go with this. I doubt they’ll actually go through with it, but it seems difficult to deter Ruby now that she knows.

Dandadan is more of the same, but at least the creature design was unique and I liked seeing Momo and Zuma use their game abilities in creative ways. Feels truly video game-like.

Noooo Shigemoto reverted to his old outfit in Magilumiere…everything feels a touch too “back to the status quo”, complete with the exact same office and character dynamics… I just wish there was something more to mark everyone’s growth (Sakuragi has her pixie cut, but everyone else is practically identical). And if I don’t get to see Shigemoto in a frilly bathing suit, then what’s the point of a beach arc.

One Piece…I’m guessing Vegapunk programmed this message to release upon his death, and I can’t wait to see what sort of ramifications it’ll have. Seeing Luffy take on Saturn and Kizaru at once is also extremely cathartic, though I wonder if it’ll feel too OP for him to defeat them both by himself.

Okay…so…for a while now, I’ve been wanting to get into otome games. I love choosing a character to romance in farming sims, so wouldn’t it be fun to play a full-fledged game where I can pursue a deep romance with a hot anime character?

It turns out that I might not be suited for dating sims at all. I’ve tried Western ones and Japanese ones and I just can’t seem to get past the inherent artifice of it all. At least in farming sims, I can just consider the dating stuff a bonus on top of the min-maxing gameplay I get to do. But I have yet to play a dating sim that has made me feel truly emotionally attached to any of its characters – I just see past the characters and to the tropes and writing conventions they follow, and their attempts to charm me ring hollow. My own personal views on love are already pretty skewed, so none of the characters I’ve seen have ever really sufficiently woo’d me. It’s honestly a little depressing…

But anyway, I finished playing Cupid Parasite. After a lot of looking around the otome game space, I decided to try this one as my first real otoge – I liked the aesthetic, the art, the design of the main character, and the premise of being a matchmaker interested me (I thought there’d be gameplay related to this…but I guess I shouldn’t’ve expected that from a cut and dry otoge). I started playing it months ago, and I decided to pursue Shelby, as I like the “workaholic executive allergic to feelings” type of character. Now, having finished a playthrough and read some reviews, it appears that Shelby’s route is generally regarded as the weakest in the entire game………………….

But even before that, the beginning of the game was so boring and wordy, as it took forever to set up the Parasite 5 gimmick, and the story progression just felt incredibly slow and frustrating. I was hoping to at least get a few choices or any say in how things turn out (you know, gameplay?), but I think I had like five choices in my entire route. (And I know visual novels/kinetic novels aren’t necessarily beholden to giving the player gameplay moments, but I feel like dating sims should…I don’t know, give me something to work with, otherwise the romance just feels entirely unearned and like I’m just reading a romance novel between some random guy and a girl who isn’t me, even if she has my name. I don’t read a lot of romance books for a reason.) It felt like I was just going through an endless and unchanging cycle – Cupid Corp would set up some sort of weird activity to try and get the Parasite 5 interested in marriage, Gill starts simping for the main character, green guy says something about fashion and is rude to girls, purple guy tries to be a homewrecker, Raul starts talking about his weird interests, rinse and repeat for like five scenes straight with zero extra insight into these characters (because you’ll get that in their individual routes, I guess, but would it have killed them to show me a Little bit more of their personalities beyond their gimmicks so that I could possibly be enticed to trying their routes??).

Sorry for wanting gameplay in a visual novel, but I think it could’ve been a lot more fun if we had the option to match the Parasite 5 up with other characters…it would fit the theme, give them happy endings, and give the player at least some semblance of challenge as they try to romance their mark while dodging the advances of the other bachelors. I genuinely thought the matchmaker concept would come up in gameplay somehow, but I was really disappointed to find that it was all set dressing. The writing as a whole is evidently very campy and anime-like, but it wasn’t endearing to me at all. It was actually so annoying that I stopped playing the game for like half a year, and just picked it up today to finish so that I could move on with my life. (I understand that the point of dating sims is to replay it and do each route and complete the game 100% to get your money’s worth and understand the full story, but I like to play romance routes as if it were real life and I have to make a real choice. Besides that, I dislike CupiPara’s writing so much that I’d never want to replay it anyway.)

To move onto the specifics of Shelby’s route, it seems like it was the most tropey and trite one of the whole bunch. Because Shelby is so out of touch with his feelings and incapable of pursuing romance himself, the plot has to twist itself into pretzels to contrive scenarios that force him and the protagonist together in order for romance to potentially spark. Fake dating was fun for a bit, but the company sabotage stuff was boring as hell and ended in the most anti-climactic way imaginable (a dash of godly powers here, an extremely obvious betrayal there, and a bit of slapstick Roomba romance “humor” for good measure). It was funny watching them try to justify how the betrayer’s brainwashing wasn’t just a cheap way of creating a blameless villain, and that they had those feelings in the first place anyway, but in the end it had the same effect of giving me a hollow and meaningless victory.

I also can’t really take the romance scenes seriously…that drunk kiss was so out of nowhere that it skeeved me out, and the eventual sex scene just felt awkward to me, because I always imagine the seiyuu in the booth having to say these lines, and any intimacy the scene may have had just goes out the window (I might’ve felt differently if I cared about any of the bachelors’ seiyuu, but I don’t).

As a whole, this game frustrated me to no end, and I’m seriously considering that otome games may just not be for me. I have one other game that I think I might be interested in, but if that one also flops then I’ll probably write off the genre forever. I’m giving this game a 2/10, and mostly because I was pleasantly surprised by a Shu Uchida English cameo.

Monday

Whoops

Tuesday

Finally got around to watching Great Pretender: Razbliuto, but I just feel utterly bewildered by it. I’m happy to return to the world of Great Pretender and its truly international lenses and broad-mindedness, but this instalment felt a little lacking. I’m glad that Dorothy wasn’t fridged, but being an amnesiac with no agency over her own story or safety isn’t much better. Jay is a fun addition, but mainly because he’s hot and voiced by Shunsuke Takeuchi. The rest was just…I was waiting for the minutes-long explanation sequence that we usually got at the end of Great Pretender cases, but here they’re just like “oh yeah everyone was in on it so it worked perfectly” and it just feels so unsatisfying and confusing. The constant backstabbings and surprise collaborations were impossible to keep track of, and I end the movie with feeling like I don’t know what anyone was actually doing or thinking, aside from the overarching idea of Laurent pulling strings to save Dorothy from being pursued. But I don’t know, the best part of heist/conman/mystery stories in general is getting to see the solution, and we just didn’t get that here. As always, I love the art and music direction, I appreciate the multicultural representation, the circular jokes and callbacks were fun, and I like that Dorothy and Laurent seemingly mutually move on from each other at the end, but as a whole the movie was kind of a flop. 6/10.

Wednesday

I worked my way through Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin this morning – while the gory writing and world building did effectively plunge me into this world, story-wise I was left wondering what the point of it all was. The premise is so unique and interesting, and I enjoyed reading about how different people with different circumstances were adapting to the apocalypse (it’s really refreshing to get trans perspectives on a genre that’s so focused on survival and the limits of the body), but the characters themselves didn’t really grab me. As with most adult fiction, I just could never buy into the way the characters talked – even all the swearing and horny talk couldn’t really convince me. And even when there were bits of character writing that I found compelling, the lack of a strong drive in the overall narrative made the book feel like a lot of monologuing without much meaning. It felt like I was waiting for something to happen for most of the book, and by the time something finally did, I didn’t care enough about the characters to feel invested in the climax.

Afterwards, I tried reading The Spiderwick Chronicles (I got the big, 600-ish page complete edition of the series from the library), but it didn’t go so well. I remember Spiderwick being fairly culturally relevant when I was a kid – it had a movie, and I constantly saw the books at my library, but for some reason I never got into it despite loving creature compendiums and cryptozoology when I was young. Now, having read through the first book (only 90 something pages, and a quarter of them illustrations…), I see that my tastes are still mostly the same, just more refined. Spiderwick’s writing is just so boring – things happen one after the other without any sort of flourish or sense of how to craft an interesting narrative. It feels like I’m reading through bullet points of plot milestones instead of getting invested in an actual story. There’s just no character to the writing at all. Needless to say I won’t be continuing with this series.

I watched the latest Game Changer episode with my friend, and it was a decently funny and surprisingly straightforward game. My friend and I even tried out some of the questions ourselves, though only about three of them actually applied to us.

While I was doing all this reading, I watched Liella’s 1st Live Tour, Starlines. Gen 1 Liella is my favourite incarnation of the group, so seeing them perform as five was really moving and nostalgic. All five of them have such strong beautiful voices, and the moments where they got to harmonize a cappella or had solo lines were absolutely gorgeous. I love that they structured the setlist to follow the timeline of the anime’s first season – seeing the girls step out in their costumes after seeing them in anime form on screen felt like I was witnessing the true emotive power of 2.5 media. AND THE AUDIENCE DOING THE LIGHTSTICKS THING FOR TINY STARS ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I did cry at Tiny Stars because it’s my favourite Liella song ever and I love Keke and KuKa and ahhhrhghgyudhj But then Tokonatsu Sunshine was so fun and Nako’s high note was such a slay, then Matataki was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard in my life, then Non-Fiction was so jfshgywueuhfsj and Starlight Prologue aahdjfk I love Gen 1 Liella so so so so much…

Afterwards, I read Cookie by Jacqueline Wilson in one sitting. Playing A Walk in the Sun a few months ago and reading the creator’s notes about Jacqueline Wilson reminded me that I enjoyed quite a few of her books as a kid (I was drawn to her writing about imperfect and non-nuclear families), so I decided to go back and see if I still liked her work. I hadn’t read Cookie before (that I can remember, anyway), but it seemed like a pretty slam dunk premise for the type of story that Wilson usually writes. It was a cute read, but I didn’t expect it to be so…Chicken Soup for the Soul-esque? Everything just felt a bit heightened beyond reality and like it was crafted in a lab with a formula specialized to create the perfect little soap opera, when I’d remembered Wilson’s writing as being slightly more down to earth and nuanced. At some points it did feel a touch on the nose with how miserable Beauty’s life was, and then the ending wrapping everything up in the biggest, shiniest, most perfect bow in world in only two chapters also felt a little ridiculous, but I guess Beauty deserved it after all her hardship. This book was probably aimed at a younger crowd, so I’ll pick up something more teenage from Wilson next time and see how I like it. (Small pet peeve, but the illustrations at the beginning of each chapter basically spoiling what happens next were a little annoying…) (The book also mentioned The Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett, which reminded me that I owned it, so I might reread it sometime in the near future.)

Thursday

I’m feeling pretty good about DunMesh Thursday this week, because I’ve made a chicken wrap thing with assorted salad vegetables and an onion and poppy seed dressing that I’ve been trying out and greatly enjoying. The episode was also fun, it neatly gave Namari a proper introduction and fleshed out the characters’ world a little more, and here again we have the staple scene of people being brought together by food. The themes of ecosystem and co-existence and community are so refreshing to see in an anime.

Friday

This morning I read through Rental Person Who Does Nothing by Shoji Morimoto, an interesting memoir from a guy who I’ve seen go viral on Twitter a few times. It was interesting to read about the unique experiences he’s had through the implementation of this service, and his thoughts on the role of humans in a work-focused society and how humans form relationships with each other were a little thought-provoking, but other than that the book was just a light read.

It’s Drag Race day once again, and I’m both excited and nervous to see yet another sewing challenge – Nymphia excels at it, sure, but I can never be sure if they’re setting her up to fail or not. I said before that sewing challenges are fun because I like seeing the girls interacting and having banter as they work, but this one just felt a bit tense…a lot of people are annoyed at Nymphia, Dawn and Q are gunning for the win, Morphine and Plasma are trying to get by while Plane Jane picks at Plasma, and Mhi’ya and Sapphira have their whole thing going on that also annoys everyone else…it’s just bad vibes. Mhi’ya certainly seems to have come out of her shell in the competition, but I don’t know if I quite like the cocky shittalking girl who’s emerged. It just feels a little silly to be talking down on the other girls when her only strong suit is fighting her way out of the bottom week after week. Runway-wise, there wasn’t anything that really blew me away. Morphine’s makeup was pretty incredible but the dress was just okay, Nymphia’s was gorgeous but you couldn’t even really see what it was, and Q’s jacket was amazing but I hated the styling so much (the painted face but normal body looked so bad, as did the netting and the big blocky black panty – if you’re going for a Victorian doll look, at least commit and paint the whole body/cover up more skin to sell the energy). I was sad to see Plasma go (she really grew on me over the season), but her look being the way that it was and her opponent being Mhi’ya pretty much sealed the deal before the lip-sync even began. I think Plasma’s a phenomenal and confident performer, but her taste level and eye for fashion need some serious work. I could see her as a great competitor on All Stars, but for now we’ll have to bid adieu.

Saturday

The new Undead Unluck episode is so good…we’ve finally returned to that strong sense of atmosphere that I’ve been missing since like episode four. The direction was fantastic, with the scene in the bar being a highlight (the hanging lightbulb swinging and casting its light over them…god…). The sudden mood shift really emphasized the tragic nature of Andy’s existence – it will always be filled with farewells. Fuuko being a constant throughout those months must have been some sort of comfort to him, and seeing them get closer (and seeing a quieter and more vulnerable Andy) really lent credence to their blossoming romance. I hope the next few episodes are also of this quality.

I finished reading The Devil’s Flute Murders by Seishi Yokomizo today, and it was pretty gripping from start to finish. I’d read The Honjin Murders before, and I’ve developed a tradition of reading classic Japanese mysteries while listening to select tracks from the excellent and moody Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu soundtrack (its instrumentation and air of bittersweet regret make for the perfect atmosphere). The Devil’s Flute Murders opened quite strongly, and it was easy to get drawn into this family and its twisted characters as Kindaichi tries to figure out what happened. Yokomizo seems to like operating on dread, often referencing things that are about to happen before they actually do – I dislike this slightly, as I like to be surprised rather than strung along, but it didn’t hamper my enjoyment of the book too much. This mystery was one where I had an inkling of the truth throughout, and I managed to deduce who the culprit was before the end, which was pretty satisfying. And while the actual events ended up being more slapdash and coincidental than they were set up to be, I was glad that it wasn’t as complicated as The Honjin Murders because I can never really get the geography straight in my head. The Devil’s Flute Murders offered compelling character relationships and tantalizing imagery (the flute…fantastic reveal), and for that I can safely say it’s my favourite Kindaichi mystery so far.

#week in review #2024

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mercy-burning · 3 years

Text

Out Of Commission

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: After being severely injured on a case, Reader needs to take it easy, and she finds a creative way for Spencer to make her feel better. Category: Smut 18+ (male masturbation, dirty talk - mentions of fingering, penetrative sex, overstimulation and multiple orgasms) Warnings: Sex, language, brief mentions of injury (As always, if there’s anything I missed, let me know what I should include in warnings! I want to be as mindful as I can about what I post. Thank you!) Word Count: 1.9k (she’s a short one, but hella spicy, so I hope that makes up for it lol)

***EDITED: 7/25/2021***

PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERLIST

***

The first week was okay. She was resting and taking it easy, as she should, but by the second week of sitting in bed or on the couch, with extra coddling from her boyfriend and her family and her friends, Y/N was growing restless.

It's not like she didn't enjoy or appreciate the constant affection and nice gestures from Spencer in particular, but she wanted something different, something she knew he would refuse in fear of tearing her stitches or irritating her wounds.

Why did serial killers have to be so goddamn inconvenient?

It didn't help that Spencer was at her house almost every night. He'd offered to take the couch a few times, but Y/N dumbly insisted he stay in her bed with her, hoping his presence would bring her comfort. And to some degree it did, of course, but more often than not Y/N found herself wanting nothing more than to wrap herself up in him and kiss him until they both fell asleep. And sometimes that did happen, though Spencer was careful to watch where he placed his hands, pulling his body away from hers almost completely at times so he wouldn't hurt her or make her uncomfortable.

Even though it was obvious to the two of them that they both wanted more, it was just too dangerous, and Y/N needed to heal properly.

One night she was sitting in bed, watching a movie she'd already seen about twenty times, about ready to turn it off when Spencer walked in, a bag of Red Vines in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.

"I thought you might want a snack," he said with a smile as he brought them over, leaning down and giving her a chaste kiss on the forehead. "How are you feeling?"

Y/N turned off the TV and shrugged. She opened the water bottle as Spencer climbed into bed next to her. He remained on top of the covers, leaning his back against the headboard and turning his head to look at her.

"I'm alright," she answered after taking a drink of water. "Nothing hurts. I'm just bored."

He placed a hand on her knee over the comforter and snuggled just a little closer. "If anything starts to hurt, let me know. I'll get you your medicine."

Y/N smiled up at her boyfriend and leaned forward to kiss him, saying, "thank you," before their lips met. It was a small, sweet kiss, but after they pulled away, Y/N went in for another, bringing her hand up to lightly brush Spencer's cheek. He kissed her back softly, his hand massaging her knee with the same tenderness.

She slipped her tongue into his mouth carefully when their lips parted, and his hand squeezed her knee a little harder. But he didn't pull away, so she took that as a good sign. She could feel herself getting more excited as his hand slipped up her leg through the comforter to grip her thigh, so she sighed into his mouth and brought her hand down to run over his torso, using her nails to lightly scratch him through his shirt.

His grip on her thigh tightened when she slipped her hand under the tee shirt, bringing it around his waist to pull him closer to her.

"Wait, Y/N," Spencer said, pulling away from her completely. She pouted when she looked at him and he looked just as disappointed as she was. "We... We can't. You're not healed properly, and it's not safe right now. We should stop."

Not completely willing to give up yet, she leaned her head down onto his shoulder, snuggling up to him and pressing a kiss to his neck as she guided his hand to his lap. Right over the bulge she knew would already be forming.

"Well... Just because I'm out of commission doesn't mean you have to be... Don't you want to feel good?"

She gripped his hand tighter and ran it over his dick through the fabric of his sweatpants. "How long has it been since you touched yourself, hmm?" she whispered into his ear, taking it softly between her teeth for a moment as she continued to guide his hand.

Spencer's breathing picked up and he shifted a little. She could feel him swallow before answering. "Um... A-about a month? And a half?"

"So... not once since I've been injured? Baby..." She made it a point to sound as sorry as she could, continuing to kiss his neck and leave little licks and bites that would surely leave marks. "I know I can't really physically help you, but... What if I kept talking? Hmm? Would you like that?"

She felt his breath hitch when her hand left his and grabbed his chin to face her. She could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to take control. But she was, in fact, out of commission, and no matter how much they both wanted it, this was the next best thing.

Y/N ran her thumb along his lower lip as she softly bit her own, her eyes completely lost in his. "Let me help you feel good, baby... Please..."

Once she pulled out the begging, he was done for. And they both knew it.

Spencer gave in, turning his head to kiss the palm of her hand as he shifted, lifting his hips off the bed to slide down his pants and underwear just enough to pull out his dick. Y/N smiled and started kissing his neck again, using one of her hands to gently graze her fingernails up and down his stomach and chest under his shirt.

She watched intently as his hand moved in slow, deliberate strokes, his thumb occasionally swiping over the tip and smearing precum over it. "Mmm, I missed seeing your cock, baby," she spoke softly into his neck, pressing open mouthed kisses to it every so often in between words. "I love watching how good you work it... So nice and slow... And your hand... God, it's so hot seeing you use your hands..."

Spencer let out a small whine as Y/N started sucking on his neck, her hand paying careful attention to his nipples under his shirt. His hand moved a little faster, and she smiled against him.

"Tell me... If you could fuck me right now, what would you do to me?" she whispered in his ear, using her unoccupied hand to play and tug at his hair as she watched him jerk off.

He didn't answer for a few moments, concentrating on working his dick and being caught up in the way she felt him up, his breathing a little ragged.

"Hmm?" she pressed, tugging harder on his hair, and he whimpered.

"I... I'd want to take you f-from behind," he choked out honestly, squeezing his eyes shut as he continued his ministrations.

Y/N laughed softly, kissing his jawline. "Mmm, I love when you fuck me from behind... Especially over the counter. I love feeling your pretty fingers dig into my hips as you just pound me into the cold marble..."

His noises got a little louder as she kissed down his throat and neck, moaning into his skin as she did so. "Fuck, I miss having your cock inside me, baby... I miss it so much, you always know how to fuck me so good..."

At this point she was absolutely worked up, her pussy clenching around nothing as she slowly laid out these filthy images for her boyfriend. It was frustrating to say the least, knowing she couldn't do anything about it without potentially hurting herself. She thought about slipping a hand under the covers and masturbating with him, but truthfully she wasn't sure how it would affect her healing. Even sitting up this long, her torso slightly twisted so she could lean into Spencer's body and help him out was starting to take its toll.

So, she tried her hardest to ignore what her lower half was feeling and laser all her attention onto her boyfriend, who was dangerously close to finding release. She watched as his hand moved, lost in the soft, wet sounds of his quick movements mixing beautifully with his whines and moans. "Y/N, I... Fuck," he breathed, leaning his head back against the headboard.

She nodded, softly rubbing her thighs together as she kissed his neck and watched his hand. "I know, baby... What do you want, hmm? The first thing you want to do to me as soon as I'm all better..."

"I... I want... I want to finger you... I wanna feel your legs clench around my hand while I finger you from behind."

Y/N let out a breathy laugh against his neck, licking and sucking at it again. "Mmm, you would like that, wouldn't you? To feel me cum on your fingers? Shaking around them while I yell out your name?"

"Fuck, Y/N, yes," he managed through a moan.

She hummed into his skin, noticing how heavy his breathing was getting. Since he was close, she put extra performance into her words, taking the time to say each one slowly, and with just the right amount of softness and innocence in her tone.

"And then, even after you've made me cum, I'd bet you'd love to keep fucking me... Only this time you'd want to see my face, because you'd love to make me cry from fucking me so hard... You'd love seeing mascara run down my face, hearing how whiny I am, begging you to stop because it's too much..."

Spencer leaned the side of his head against hers as his breathing picked up. "Shit," he breathed, his voice shaky.

"And you'd love to wipe the tears from my face as you fuck me even harder, telling me to take it like a good girl..."

That was all it took for him to finally finish. Y/N was prepared, lifting up his shirt so that he could cum mostly on his stomach. She moaned right along with him, using her other hand to stroke his jaw as he came. She watched with wonder and adoration as the thick, white substance landed in perfect splatters all over his stomach.

His hand slowed to a stop once he was finished, and Y/N pressed a soft, sensual kiss to jaw, right before turning his face to meet hers. He kissed her lazily, their tongues both colliding with soft strokes that grew heavier on Y/N's part until Spencer pulled away.

She whined at the loss of contact, and he laughed softly. "You didn't really think this through, did you?"

"Uh-uh," she replied with another whine, burying her face in his shoulder.

He laughed again and kissed the top of her head. She still held his shirt up to his chest so it wouldn't get messy, so he sat up off the headboard a little and pulled it all the way off, tossing it to the floor. "I gotta get cleaned up. Maybe when I'm done we should get you into a cold shower."

She stuck her tongue out at him before an idea struck her. Spencer was about to get up, but she grabbed his arm. "Wait. Let me help."

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't stop her when she brought her fingers to his stomach, scooping up some of his cum and bringing it to her lips, smearing it there for a moment before cleaning it all off. She looked him in the eye the entire time, though that clearly gave away how frustrated she still was that she couldn't get herself off.

"That didn't help you at all, did it?" Spencer mused.

Y/N pouted. "No..."

He kissed her on the head again before getting out of bed. "I'm gonna go run you a shower, okay? How cold do you want it?"

"Very cold."

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds smut #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader smut

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stephspurs · 3 years

Text

A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. This is a window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the Italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

Wow - the response i received in a little under 24 hours since i posted the first taste of part 1 has truly bowled me over! I wasn't expecting that reaction & tbh i would have been happy if 2 people wanted to read this story hahaha! So, i've been writing in the background & the first few parts have already been proofed and are ready to go. HOWEVER! I am open to your suggestions so please please let me know what you think and how you want to see Amelia's story play out. As far as i'm concerned, this fic is as much yours as it is mine! So please enjoy this first part, in its entirety, and let me know your thoughts! Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 1 | prima parte

warnings; none - maybe a bit of angst? (what sibling rivalry doesn't have a bit of angst)

word count; 1978 words

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Sunday 25/07 5pm AEST. Updates will be twice weekly at this stage. Probably Wednesday’s and Sundays from next week!!

link to fic masterlist here

The world of football, no matter how big it may seem, is as tight as a close-knit family. Whether its management staff, senior players, scouts, academy players, business developers, medical team, groundskeeper - everyone knows someone who knows someone else involved in the sport. For Amelia White, it was a family affair.

Having grown up with her father as a senior tactical analyst for many different clubs throughout his career, and an older brother currently playing for Brighton in the Premier League, there was no opportunity for her to escape the fanaticism of the sport. It was what her household lived and breathed, football. Most would think that, with her brother being as successful as he is now, her childhood was shadowed by her brother's success but that's not the case. She capitalised on her ability to think both logically and creatively, and absorbed all of the information her father could give her as if she was a sponge, to establish a name of her own in the sport and advance her career in the sport. At the age of 21 she upped and left the comforts of her home in West London, accepted a position at Juventus within their graduate program & worked her way up the ranks to be their youngest tactical analyst by the age of 24.

So far in her career, the support of her mother, father & brother were unmatched by any. They were all so proud of her for making her own name, proving herself and succeeding in one of the most competitive football leagues in the world. She was smart, tactful, both meticulous and ruthless in her approach to her career and the success of her players. Because after all, they were her players. She worked day in and day out, studying them and their opponents, drafting performance plans and set pieces for every possible outcome of the play, so that they could perform at their best. They had her trust and faith, and she had theirs. This is probably what her family was most proud of, and wished her every success, until she was appointed as a tactical analyst for the Italian National Team for the upcoming Euro 2020 tournament. Which happened to be the same tournament that her brother had received his call up to the Three Lions. Which was the current level at which her father was a senior tactical analyst for the English National Team. The Euro 2020 Tournament was about to be a real family affair...

10 July 2021

It had been 2 months since she last had any contact with her family. 3 months ago, Amelia signed a contract with the Federcalcio, the governing body of football in Italy, to become the Azzurri’s tactical analyst for the foreseeable European Football Championship. In turn, her silky signature at the bottom of the agreement, also constituted a digital and physical contact ban with members of her family that were also involved with the tournament...her father and her brother.

At the time of the contract, and against her better judgement, Amelia hadn’t told her family of her opportunity. She knew her father would be proud, but her brother would be bitter. Her mother was switzerland, completely neutral and rooting for both of her children - but that's not how football works. No matter your role you have a job to do, and you do everything you can to make sure it is your team that lifts the trophy at the end of the tournament. So, on May 23rd her family congratulated her for another successful season at Juventus, and unbeknownst to them, said goodbye for the next 2 months. Until the day before the final match of the tournament, Italy v. England.

Her heart dropped when England won their semi final match against Denmark. She wanted nothing more than for her brother to be happy and for her father to succeed, but she didn’t want to have to go up against them in the final. Ultimately, she knew they were good, but she also knew that she could hold her own and compete with the best. Having a close relationship with her brother, up until this period, meant that she often paid attention to the premier league. This was a major benefit to her as she had already started analysing the azzurri’s opponents. It was her job to know what foot Raheem Sterling preferred to pass with, what direction Declan Rice preferred to take the ball up the field, what direction of receiving the ball did Harry Maguire struggle the most with. So that's how she spent the three days between matches, solidifying her knowledge of her opponents & predicting the plays her dad would be instructing the English team to complete, to attempt to outperform the Italians. However nothing would prepare her for the knock on her suite door, or for what was on the other side…

_____________________________________________________________

“Ciao Amelia, vieni con me per favore. abbiamo organizzato una visita supervisionata con tuo fratello prima della finale di domani sera. sorpresa!” (hi amelia, come with me please. we have arranged a supervised visit with your brother prior to the final tomorrow night. surprise!). I stood there in shock staring at one of my players & closest friends, Federico Bernardeschi. I was a person who didn't enjoy spontaneity, who thrived off of preparation and organisation. I needed the opportunity to overthink every situation so that I could prepare for every possible outcome. This was not my idea of a good time. Of course I missed my brother, but I know just how volatile he can be. Nevertheless, I grabbed my jacket and shoved my sneakers on before following Fede down the hall and into a blacked out van that was waiting to take me to St. George’s Park for my family reunion.

Upon arriving, and after a stern pep talk from Fede (who was my appointed supervisor for the visit - not sure I would say he was the most responsible choice but he did talk some sense into me) I walked into the main entrance and saw my father leaning against the reception desk waiting for me.

“Papa!!” I called as I walked over to him, ready to smother him with my love and affection. My father, Dean White, and I had as good of a relationship as possible, being that he was always heavily involved with my brother Ben’s footballing career as well as his own. I think when I came along, my father didn't know how to be a girl dad, so he took my mothers advice and just involved me like he would Ben. I was glad that I would be seeing him first, and he would be taking me to see my no-doubt pissed off brother.

“Dad, this is Fede, one of my players”

“Ciao Dean, it’s very nice to meet you but i am also her bodyguard for this evening” Fede introduced himself to my father and they exchanged pleasantries. I had a look around the foyer of the facility until I heard my name brought up in conversation.

“Amelia, come on. The boys are just over here. I don’t think you have long before heading back to your camp” My dad called to me. Boys? As in...more than just my brother?

“Hahaha that's funny dad, just show me to his room and we can have our screaming match there. Should only be about 20 or so minutes”

“Ben’s not in his room, we have a recreation room for the players and staff to lounge about and relax in. Pretty sure he’ll be in there. Come on, you’ve never been scared of your brother before. Why start now?” Before I knew it, Dad was leading us through some doors and into a large common area with bean bags, pool tables and couches - all occupied by current first team members of the English National Football team.

“Dean mate, don’t normally see you down here after 7pm. Oh look at that, someone let the trash in.” A loud mouthed player, that I used to adore as if he was my own brother, calls out as he notices us enter the room. And just like that, I shake off my nerves, stand in front of my taller & more argumentative bodyguard, relax my shoulders and stare into the eyes of Kyle Walker - daring him to challenge me and push me further.

“Relax Kyle, Benjamin White - your sister is here to see you.” Dad cut Kyle off. I didn’t need him to defend me against Kyle’s harsh comments, I could defend myself.

“Wow, I thought hell would freeze over before I got the opportunity to speak to you. Of course, I didn't realise hell would look quite like seeing you in that shade of blue.” My brother, Ben, spoke bitterly at me as he approached me from the other side of the room. This, coupled with Walker’s exclamation earlier, got the attention of the majority of the players scattered about.

“Ben, if you let me explain in private I'm sure you will be able to understand why things had to be this way” I tried to reason with him. Letting go of my always-defensive guard and pleading with my big brother to open his mind to see my side of the story.

“As if I would even talk to you right now, the night before the final, you’re probably here to try and get some insider information. Boys make sure you don’t say anything to her, she’s as sly as they come” Ben’s words were as sharp as a knife - but I knew what I had to say would cut him deeper.

“Ok that's enough! You are ridiculous! What did you expect me to do? Not take the job because you’re my brother? This is my career we are talking about here” I challenged him. “If you think for one second i stopped supporting you then you must be even more stupid than i thought. Of course this isn't the ideal situation, I'm proud of you for reaching a final but I'm just as proud of myself for doing the same thing.” I got progressively closer to my brother, who stood there with his hands beside himself, unable to get a word in.

“I came tonight to wish you good luck, to tell you I loved you, to give you a hug and tell you to stay safe and play smart. Whilst I still wish all of this for you, I now want you to know that I want you to play your best so I can be better than you. I can show you exactly how good at my job I am. I want you to know that no matter what way you play the ball, I'll be right there waiting for you. I am prepared for this, I hope you are too - so that it will feel that much more sweet when we beat you” I sneered at my older brother, who at this point, is quite visibly feeling a mixture of shock and embarrassment.

I take a step back, let out a breath and shake the tension from my shoulders. Breaking eye contact with my brother, I look briefly - yet confidently - at the other players in the room and take a step back. I turned to my dad, who was looking at me solemnly, as though he wasn’t happy with my outburst but understood it came from a place of frustration with my sibling. Walking up, giving him a kiss on the cheek and wishing him luck, I turned to look at Fede and began to walk to the door. This interaction with my brother, although supposed to be a nice moment shared between siblings, has only gone and motivated me to be at my best tomorrow, to prepare my players to go to war and to come out the other side victorious.

Part 2 | seconda parte

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dracosaurusrex · 3 years

Text

My Cup of Tea (Draco x Reader)

Summary: There’s intimacy found in understanding.

Wordcount: 1.2k

A/N: Hi everyone! Here’s my submission for @iliveiloveiwrite‘s 3.5k songfic challenge :) The song I chose was Maybe I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney. It took a while figuring out how I was going to write this (I initially planned to write it in second person). However, after reading and listening to the lyrics multiple times, I figured that the best way was to write from Draco’s perspective. I tried my best to get the characterization right, so I hope it does some justice at the very least. Thank you and I hope you enjoy!

Draco’s POV

There was no one who could have prepared me well enough to face the life waiting on the other side of the war.

There was no one to warn me about the pains of regret that accompanied the idea of redemption. My life, which was once lived with blatant arrogance and pride, was filled with false beliefs. That much I realize as I trace the fading details of the dark mark that stains my skin.

The wounds remain vivid within the corners of my mind. I often recall the venom spewed from my lips and into the hearts of those I made my prey. Unlike before, where I’d been the one to cast such foul words, the weeks, months, even years following the war had me find myself on the receiving end of the hurt, longing for a saving grace I surely don’t deserve. The desire to rewind time was constant as remorse pools in from day to day.

Within little moments, where everything seemingly came crashing down, I simply sat in the stillness of the dark. Cold air from the balcony would linger against my skin, while the only source of illumination originated from the stars late at night. As I sat, I pondered. I pondered upon what this pathetic life of mine had to offer. I pondered on the what-ifs and the-could’ve-beens had I opened my eyes to the world around me much earlier.

“Pathetic”. The word, which bore much weight upon my shoulders, had subsided into a distant memory now.

Eight years have passed since then. I was 17--broken, tattered, lost--yet here I am now at 25, awoken by the sweet aromas of tarte orange, velvety chocolate, and rich vanilla bean on a simple autumn day. The sound of a knife striking against a cutting board is next to fill my senses, followed by the sizzling noises of oil frying in a pan. Meanwhile, light from the morning sun scatters across my room, the space beside me is unoccupied, but I’m not alone anymore.

The sensations were oddly comforting knowing that the owner behind them is the very person who managed to fill in the cracks of my heart. Her name is Y/N. She’s an early riser, unlike me, opting to say ‘hello’ to the world at the break of dawn. She situates herself in the middle of our bustling kitchen, her hands moving with grace, elegance, and poise. There was an air of artistry in everything she did, attending to even the smallest things in life with a stroke of wisdom and beauty--slowly, steadily.

She’s patient.

And with such patience, she has mended me. At least that’s what I believe anyway. Slowly, steadily she picked up my fragments and fixed me with a new sense of hope. She constantly refuses to believe that, however, reminding me that it was I who mended myself. I agree only because it makes her happy, but deep within I know that she’s my saving grace.

I seat myself at our dining table, taking the liberty to gaze at her from afar. A gold morning glow embodies her figure as she tends to the breakfast cooking on the stove. With a brief glance thrown my way, she casts a soft smile only for a moment before her attention is redirected to the ingredients laying before her.

“Good morning, my love.” The words roll off her tongue like honey. “Would you like some tea?”

“That’d be lovely, thank you.” She prepares me a cup the way only she knows I like it: black tea brewed with a slice of orange, topped with a pinch of cinnamon. The familiarity in her motions elicits warmth within, and soon the mere act of crafting a drink becomes something much more intimate when she makes mine. She comes over. The smile plastered on her lips lets me know I’m loved. As she places the cup before me, she presses a kiss to my cheek before wrapping her arms around my shoulders, pressing another one to the back of my neck. The warmth from within spreads over, and I take her hand in mine to plant my lips on her knuckles in response.

“I love you.” The phrase comes out as a whisper, but they’re of the heart, for within her arms I am Draco. Not Draco Malfoy. Not the heir to a long line of purebloods. Within her arms, I am understood with an intimacy surpassing that of lust and desire.

Unlike her patient self, I am a prideful, stubborn man. Regret of the past had weaved its way within me, but the values I once upheld were not ones so easily discarded. It’s miraculous, really, how a woman like Y/N makes me come undone. It merely took the slightest caresses to my cheek or even something simpler like her fingers entangled in my hair. My favorite amongst her many talents is her way of speech. With each thought profound and carefully planned, she strings her words in a manner so eloquent that I find myself in a state of awe listening to everything she says. Any other person would become frustrated trying to untangle the entanglement that is myself. However, when I look into her eyes, I’m immediately stricken by the passion she emanates in order to right my wrongs. I’m found with no words to defend myself. Nevertheless, I submit myself to her, allowing her to worm into my mind and my heart while simply watching as the beliefs I once knew crumble into her hands.

“How’s the tea, Draco?” I’m pulled out of thought with the sound of her voice.

“No one can ever make it like you do.” The allied hints of citrus and cinnamon accompany the robust flavor of the tea itself. Much like her to me.

“Anyone can if they took the time to try.” She responds.

“Sure, but you’ll never see me satisfied.”

There’s truth to her statement: Anybody was capable of making the drink if they tried. However, no one ever has. No one has gone to her lengths to prepare me a cup of tea just the way I like it. The way that calms the turbulent thoughts that run through my mind. The way it straightens out my worries. Every morning, when I wake up and seat myself before her, slices of oranges and a shaker filled with cinnamon powder are already set out on the counter. She lets the pieces of fruit dry for a moment, explaining to me that its flavors become more vibrant once it’s placed in a fresh brew. Call me soft, sappy, or smitten--there’s no denying the admiration I have for her observant mind.

“Why do you care about those little details?” I would ask sometimes. She’d reply, “You deserve to wake up to a nice cup of tea.”

I must’ve been a guardian or a saint of some sort in my past life, because Merlin knows I am not a favorite to the hearts of others. I will never consider myself worthy of her love till this very day. Regardless, I would live my life over and over if it meant waking up to her making me a cup of tea forever.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, love? Breakfast is almost ready.” She doesn’t dare look up from the pan. I release a chuckle before raising myself to approach her, scents of eggs and sausages now fill my senses. With much tenderness, I wrap my arms around her from behind and plant a kiss on her jaw. I was never good at words, but I was certain of letting her know about these deep feelings.

“I love you.” She turns to me with that familiar warm smile.

“And I love you, Draco.”

A/N: Thank you so much for reading if you made it this far! Feedback is very much appreciated! Besides that, I hope you have a great day! Also, kudos to those if you read one of my past fics and got the gaurdian reference LOL

Tagging:

@amithatemo @littlethie @cherie-draco @svturtles @stretchyice @xoxohollands @chthxnix @dracosathenaeum @hahee154hq @mushi98 @dreaming-about-fanfictions @beiahadid @dreamy-clousds @minsuuwu @adrienpuceyishot @Saby06143 @rottenhexrt

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x you #draco x reader #iliveiloveiwrite3.5k #draco malfoy #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy imagines #draco x you #draco x y/n

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

Note

Hey i really love your blog!!! I just plucked the courage to actually send u an ask fhdjhd but GOSH i love your video edits and your gifs and your meta article posts, you're so articulate and you can explain/describe moments in a way that makes me go "oh wow, i cant believe i haven't seen it that way before!!" Haha ANYWAYS i'm just here to say that i completely agree with what all u said, Free creators might do a lil fanservice here and there for the 25 ships that exists within the fandom's circle, but rinharu's storyline is clearly the most romantic one! And i'd argue it's the one closest to being canon esp after part 1, i mean the fact that they put such an explosive emotional outburst right at the end of the second to the last movie means a lot. It's like reinforcing the fact that this series has always been about them, and everything that has happened only happened either because they met or they grew appart and miss eachother. I kinda feel like maybe.. juust maayyybe there's a chance KA wants to make the ship canon, since it's the last movie and they want to end it on a highnote maybe (bcs honestly i think the only reason they've been holding back is purely bcs of the merch sales, since they don't have a problem showing a wholesome lesbian love story in kobayashi maid dragon) butt i could be wrong, maybe i'm just overly optimistic and delusional, they could somehow ruin it and give an ending that panders to all the ships again 😅🥲, but at least there's a clear-cut guarantee that part 2 would dedicate a large portion of it fixing rin and haru's fight!!! Oohh how can i wait another 6 months now!!😭😭 (sorry for the long ask btw!! 🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

OMG thank you so so much!! For watching my vids too! ❤️❤️❤️ It really means a lot to me! Ahhhh wow, thats the longest ask I've ever recieved! 😍 I'm trying to explain myself so hard lol I'm glad its appreciated, bc sometimes I'm like "I don't fucking know how to say this" xD

Well, you know me, I only care for one ship, which is the only one with confirmed info that they're both actually gay and have mutual feelings for each other. There are some other ships in free! I'm fine with (those do not include Rin or Haru in them xD), but I just mostly don't care, bc after reading all the stuff, you can see that in some of those to one the other one is actually like his second option, which I just do not like. Others I just don't even see, bc again to me who witnessed great close male friendships and having two sisters who I'm very close to, I just do not see anything romantic in that.

It's not just Free! tbh, it's like any sports anime these days. They see two guys walking together, it's a ship. And like no one cares if they're just bros. Like I'd get i they did some fanservice fanservice, but like I never saw anyone in Free! crossing the line the way rinharu do. I can without thinking much name you 10 rh moments that no matter how hard you think can't be explain as being bros, but can't name one when it comes to others. I just find some ppl shipping everyone with everyone weird sometimes. It's like western fans see like some eastern actors or singers slap each other ass lovingly and they're like "oh they're fucking" I'm like "yeah, ofc all 500 of them, you're absolutely right". And Free! doesn't do anything even like that, I just do not get sometimes like what moment even brought on some ships. I'm genuinely confused. Albert and Haru? You fucking fell from a sakura tree or smth? I'm...

I'm especially confused when it comes to guys, whose character type is who I call "I only want this one and if I can't have it, then I'm ok" xD. It just always surprised me, when they try to pair up them with someone else, it's like a complete ooc.

I'm also not into this whole "well, if there are gays in this anime, than everyone there is gay". I'm like... huh. It's like with KNB and MDZS I had same feeling. It's like you have already couples there who are canon/borderline canon, why do you need another 10 who don't even interact or just don't even go there? I'm always so confused in those situations. Or like wangxian is married and some are like "no, I actually don't like it, let me write a fic when they're with other ppl". Lan Zhan... being in love or having sex with someone else? Yeah, that's not Lan Zhan, dude, you're writing about someone else. Might as well change the name at this point.

But last time I went to twitter someone had a thread about how if they make s4 of Free! they should mainly explore there Momo's angst (and no, it wasn't a joke), so I'm already like, I'm just.. nothing will surprise me no more. But I'm forever gonna be confused.

Yeah, I eel you about "going there". I mean seeing part of it, it just kinda cemented my confusion, bc I do not get how it can be considered platonic. We were just discussing since yesterday with @freeseafirefly how I now even more perplexed and do not understand how they will resolve it without going into relationship territory. It's just our point here is that like... no one forced them to go there (I mean its not like this whole fandom has some wild expectations or anything already), we were waiting or our usual friendship and swimming and maybe tiny conflict about struggles of pro-careers and some usual rh implications (maybe all the rh gay in dramas as always). Not some pure fanfiction coming to life here haha.

Like why I'm laughing is bc I twice used in my "fics" bringing up him leaving Haru as a force to push the confession, bc there's no way if he adresses this it won't lead to this. And now we not only have this (bc Haru just basically layed it out there), but an actual scene of him playing on their feelings for each other and a literal image of Rin leaving and "taking Haru's heart with him" to the point when he's for the first time in his life openly crying on the ground. And it's not like this scene can be interpreted as anything else, the whole fandom talks same, bc the whole fight was just about them, what Haru said was just about them, there's a literal boom of his heart getting out of his chest, before he falls and now he's heartless.

So our question is like... why go there?

It's like some say that they might still resolve it with "they're special to each other" and swimming, but still like we already knew that, there was no reason to go that far is what I'm saying. And to think that it was planned since forever giving the clues is like... ???

The whole spoon theme also throw me on the loop because like, lets be honest, it's wedding themed. And that part of the interview about part 2 there also made me go...?????? Because I mean, huh?

This is just all in all very interesting turn of events to say the least. I do not see the point of all of this if its not what I think it is, esp after seeing tweets like "even I see a rh wedding and I'm mh T_T". It's just all very unsubtle, that's why we're confused.

Like who knows, maybe we'll really by some magic turn of events get lucky and they really decided that since its the ending, it's okay to go for it. But I also don't wanna to hype myself much, I'm already really happy with it, just bc again, this scene already proves all of my points.

And yeah, I'm sure they'll pander to everyone, bc it's the end and etc and we have to handle everything on the good note and there's a whole line of ppl who's obsessed with us, esp with Haru xD, but like bromance pandering and romance pandering are different things, you know *wiggles eyebrows* and u know who always gets the second one.

#answered #a-girl-with-a-ponytail #rinharu #harurin #free! the final stroke #free!#free #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 4 years

Text

Satisfied, Part 12

First

I’m going to start answering comments at the bottom but before the taglist now so you guys can get straight into the chapter (unless it’s really important like taking a break or something)

Also I’ve decided to move all the Wayne kids closer together in age. Damian’s 18, Tim is 21, Jason is 23, Dick is 25

~~~

She didn’t go to the coffee shop the next day. Partially because she wasn’t getting her overpriced coffee paid for (at least not without a lot of whining), but mostly because she wanted to do some research where people couldn’t see her.

She sighed as she flipped between all fifty of her tabs, resting her head on her hand. She could hear Tikki trying, and failing, to make her something to eat in the kitchen.

Who could the bat family be? They had to have a lot of influence and/or money to get as much information as they did. She flipped through the most wealthy people in Gotham and its surrounding area, but where was the cutoff? How was she to know that they weren’t middle class people who saved for expensive things?

And then there was the tiny case of the near-slipup on the rooftops. Nightwing was about to call Robin something. He wouldn’t have been saying ‘friend’, he wouldn’t have had to pause like that. What had he been about to say? She hoped it wasn’t ‘boyfriend’, they had what seemed to be a 10 year age gap. Her best assumption was they were going to say ‘brother’, which implied at least most of the bat family was related.

Her eyes found their way to the tab with a picture of Bruce Wayne. He was standing alone, his kids never had pictures taken of them out of respect for their privacy, but everyone knew of his penchant for adopting kids with dark hair and blue eyes.

Great. She’ll never know, then. How was she, a designer, supposed to get close to the Bruce Wayne?

On a completely unrelated note, the next day she stood outside of a gate with Tim. Her eyes locked on the weird symbol on the gate, trying to place where she’d seen it before, but her brain couldn’t seem to find it. Oh well, it was probably just one of the rich people she’d researched yesterday.

Tim placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “You can not let my dad adopt you.”

She gave a small eyeroll, pushing his hands off and smoothing out her dress. It had taken forever to get a dresscode out of Tim, because he insisted that ‘you could wear a burlap sack and my family would love you, just relax’, but he eventually just told her formal. Not helpful. There’s levels of formal, Tim. She had settled for a plain red dress with a black belt.

“I don’t think my parents would be all that excited if I traded them out after a few days here.”

He nodded. “That’s good. Use that.”

“Use tha--?”

The gates swung open.

Tim took a deep breath as if to steel his nerves. “At least Damian isn’t here. You get to meet the nicest of the family first.”

“Why isn’t he here?”

“He got out of it,” he shrugged.

They stepped inside. She stared up at the high walls. She pulled out her phone and took a picture in case she messed up with Tim’s family so bad that she wasn’t allowed back.

The moment she walked in someone pulled her into a hug. “Thank you!” He cried.

Marinette blinked and gave him a short pat on the back. “You’re... welcome?”

He pulled away and held out a hand to shake. “Sorry, I was just so excited to meet the person who got him to take a day off. I’m Dick.”

“You’re... you’re what?” She said, her eyebrows shooting into her hair.

Dick rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, right, French. I’m Richard but, in America, that gets shortened to ‘Dick’.”

She blinked once, then just chose to accept it. “Nice to meet you, I’m Marinette.”

“How’d you do it?”

She gave a small shrug as they began walking to the dining room. “I don’t know. He just offered.”

Dick sent her a skeptical look, then looked at his brother as if to confirm.

“In my defense, she looked really stressed.”

“More stressed than you usually do?” Came a voice from above. She looked up to see yet another guy leaning over a railing to look at them.

Marinette raised her eyebrows. “I thought you guys were adopted, how do you all look exactly the same?”

The newest grinned. “Dad’s got a type.” He hopped the railing and landed next to them.

She narrowed her eyes slightly as she took a better look at all of them. Tim’s dodge could be put down as self-defense, but hopping a railing and landing without getting hurt?

She blinked as a hand was thrust in her face and gave a weak smile. “I’m Marinette, nice to meet you.”

“Jason.”

Her brain was blaring alarms, trying desperately to tell her something, but it all came out as ‘AHDKFSFHDLKSNDG’, which wasn’t all that useful.

She shook his hand.

It wasn’t until she walked into the dining room and her eyes landed on the Bruce Wayne that she finally figured everything out. Her hands flew to her mouth as she stared at him in stunned silence.

Then she wheeled on Tim and pulled him down by the collar of his shirt. “You’ve been a Wayne this whole time? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He had the decency to look sheepish. “I didn’t want you to use me for my money.”

“Please, I knew you were rich from the get-go, it wouldn’t have mattered if you were ‘goes to Disney twice a year’ rich or ‘could buy Disney if you wanted’ rich. You should have at least warned me outside the gate!”

Bruce dropped something on the desk and Marinette squeaked quietly, letting go of her captive. It was a file of some sort. Crap, was this an interrogation or something? Was that a rich people thing? Do they do in-depth research on people that talk to their kids?

The man slid the file over and she opened it to see... adoption papers?

“Wow, you really weren’t kidding,” she mumbled as she flipped through them. She glanced up at Bruce. “How did you get these so fast?”

“I have them on me at all times at this point,” he explained.

She blinked a few times and then slowly closed the file. “I’m sorry, but I have parents already.”

Everyone (except Tim) seemed stunned. She heard Jason whisper: “Is that allowed?”

Despite the slight confusion, everyone took a seat at the table. There was quite a few seats, but she was amused to see all the kids opting to sit next to her.

Dick rested his head on his hands from his spot across the table. “So, what do you know about Ladybug?”

She did her best not to tense.

“Subtle,” said Jason sarcastically from her right. He turned back to her and gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry, ‘bout that. He’s been obsessed since she appeared, and most of his research has been a dead end. He’s grasping at straws.”

She forced a small laugh. “I’m too clutzy to ever be Ladybug, you can ask anyone.”

Dick groaned. “And I don’t suppose you know who it is?”

“Nope.”

Jason, apparently eager to change the subject every two seconds, asked: “How’d you two meet?”

She glanced at Tim, who was shaking his head so fast she thought it’d pop off, then turned back to his brothers and father. “We met at the coffee shop. He spilled coffee on me.”

She heard Tim’s head hit the table as he groaned.

Jason was cackling. “Awwww, Tim is in a coffeeshop AU!”

Dick grinned. “Next you’ll tell me he offered you free drinks for life or something.”

“Well, actually,--.”

She couldn’t even finish, Jason was laughing so hard.

Bruce seemed less amused. “I would hope that he did, and for the shirt. too.”

She smirked and looked at Tim, who seemed to sense what she was going to do before she did it. He sent her a short look, a ‘don’t you dare’, before she spoke: “Actually, he revoked my coffee privileges.”

The poor kid sighed and closed his eyes. His father was glaring daggers at him, so, after a few seconds of him struggling, he finally gave in. “Fine, I’ll pay for coffee again.”

She cheered and gave Jason a high five.

Dick rolled his eyes. “You’re children.”

“Like you’re so much better!” Complained Jason. “You’re only two years older than me!”

Marinette rolled her eyes and reached out to poke Tim’s face until he finally looked over at her.

“He lives!” She cheered softly and he shook his head and sat up some, a smile playing across his lips.

Bruce chuckled and leaned back in his chair. He’d been watching the four for a little while. They seemed like they’d get along...

“Tim, have you invited her yet?”

Tim went red.

“I’ll take that as a no. Do you want to do it or should I?”

The kid took a deep breath to steel himself, then gently poked her shoulder for her attention. The moment she looked at him, though, he froze and couldn’t seem to get any words out.

Marinette’s head tipped to the side. “Um...?”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “I’d like to, on behalf of my son, invite you to the Wayne Gala.”

To everyone’s surprise, the girl didn’t smile, or thank him, or really react positively at all.

Marinette released a quiet sound, like a balloon deflating, as she slumped into her seat and covered her face in her hands. Tim rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

“What’s wrong?” Came Dick’s voice.

“Six!” She cried.

“You have something against musicals?” Said Jason.

She lowered her hands just enough to glare at him. “I have to make six outfits in four months.”

“You don’t have --,” began Tim.

“I have to! Make! Six outfits! In four months!”

~~~

When Marinette is done with the gala outfits will I show you what they look like?

I’ll do you one better. I’m showing them now because it took a longgggg time and I KNOW I will forget if I wait until then.

I tried to match their personalities with their posture and clothes. I kinda forgot Penny’s character though lol so now she’s kinda like Nathalie.

Also that took forever. If ya’ll want that again you gotta pay me. Christ.

Why is she making an outfit for Adrien if they aren’t friends?

They aren’t on bad terms, they just grew apart due to a difference in ideology. But, beyond that, she has her reasons. You’ll find out when Adrien comes by.

~~~

Taglist

@thatonecroc @comet-kun @trippingovermyfeet @swiftie-miraculer13 @nickristus-dreamer @moongoddesskiana @i-am-ironic @indecisive-mess-named-me @thebooki3h @insane-fangirl-of-everything @deepestobservationwombat @theymakeupfairies @fatimaabbasrizvi @clumsy-owl-4178 @fanofalittletoomuch @iamablinkmarvelarmy @nathleigh @lilkymilky @silvergold-swirl @dino-lovingreen-angel @thestressmademedoit @kissa-chan @ladybug-182 @alysrose-starchild @t1dwarrior-of-earth

#god really gave me all the talent huh #yea yea hubris will be my downfall whatever #timinette #timari #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #tim drake #red robin #maribat #satisfied

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burkymakar · 3 years

Note

Hi my favorite athletic reader. If possible could you post anything important from Baughers new article on Gabe?

lol i feel so used. it's under the cut haha

Gabriel Landeskog rolled up to the Avalanche practice rink, a 19-year-old figuring he was heading into a meeting about the upcoming 2012-13 season. A potential lockout loomed, and he wondered if he and his teammates were about to get information on what would happen next.

But only one teammate was there when Landeskog got inside Family Sports Center in Centennial, Colo.: captain Milan Hejduk. Then-Colorado coach Joe Sacco was there, too. They wanted to speak to Landeskog privately.

At the time, Hejduk was entering his 14th season with Colorado. The veteran was the only player left from the Avalanche’s 2001 Stanley Cup team, and he knew his career was winding down. He was no longer a top forward on the team and didn’t feel it would be right to remain captain. Someone else needed to take the role, Landeskog remembers Hejduk telling him that day.

“And I think that person is you,” Hejduk said.

The young winger was caught off guard. He let out a stunned laugh. At the time, no permanent captain in league history had ever been named at so young an age. A tornado of emotions followed: shock, excitement and — naturally — nerves. He called his dad immediately after the conversation.

“You’ve got to this point being who you are,” Tony Landeskog told his son. “Don’t try to be somebody you’re not.”

That advice stuck with Landeskog, and from that day forward, his “C”-embroidered jersey has been a constant for the Avalanche. It was there through the promising years with Nathan MacKinnon, Ryan O’Reilly and Matt Duchene, and it was there when that core fell apart. It was there through the pain of rebuilding, and it was there as the Avalanche emerged as a league power.

Now, its era in Denver could be coming to a close.

For the first time in his NHL career, Landeskog is a pending unrestricted free agent. And after a decade in Denver, he doesn’t know what’s coming next.

“The uncertainty is something I’ve never dealt with,” Landeskog says. “I’ve always known that come September, October, I’m going to pull on that Avs jersey.”

Landeskog has repeatedly said he wants to stay with Colorado, and the Avalanche want to bring him back. But with star defenseman Cale Makar set to receive a massive raise in restricted free agency and the Avalanche up against the salary cap, general manager Joe Sakic is facing tough decisions this offseason.

Landeskog wants long-term security. Currently, he’s in limbo.

“I can’t help but be honest with you that I’m a little bit disappointed that it’s gotten this far and it’s had to come to this point,” Landeskog says.

Now 28, Landeskog could be looking at his last chance to sign a major, multiyear contract. The Avalanche, meanwhile, must decide how much they are willing to spend — and for how many years — on a physical, two-way forward approaching 30.

Teams must submit protection lists Saturday for the July 21 Kraken expansion draft, and if Colorado doesn’t protect Landeskog, Seattle will have a window to bargain with him before free agency begins July 28. Landeskog’s reputation as a leader and production (52 points in 54 games this past season and 171 in 181 over the past three) will make him a popular target should he reach the open market. Teams like the Kraken, Blues, Kings, Flyers and Oilers jump out as potential suitors.

Talks between the Avalanche and their captain have increased in frequency in recent days, but the sides are still far away from an agreement, according to a league source.

“We’ll see what happens,” Landeskog says. “I’m still hopeful that we can agree on something and come to terms, but if it was up to me, I would have liked it to be done eight months ago, 10 months ago.”

In the nine seasons since Hejduk handed over the captaincy, Landeskog has gone from a green-but-mature up-and-comer to the calming presence on an elite team. He’s now a parent, one of the older players on the Avalanche and their unquestioned leader.

“It’s been a constant learning curve,” he says.

He’s grown, and he’s growing. The question is if that will continue with the Avalanche.

One day during his first season as captain, Landeskog stood in the Family Sports dressing room for a players-only meeting, taking note of teammates in their 30s, veterans who had spent more than a decade in the NHL. In only his second season, Landeskog could hear his voice shake.

“It probably was pretty laughable how nervous I was,” he says.

The Avalanche were in the midst of a rough stretch in what amounted to a season of rough stretches. Landeskog leaned on older players — Hejduk, Jean-Sebastien Giguere, Paul Stastny, O’Reilly and Erik Johnson, to name a few — and one suggested a team meeting.

Landeskog doesn’t recall what he said that day, but he remembers the nerves — that quiver in his voice — and how the older players had his back. Others chimed in, and the team dissected what was going wrong.

Ultimately, the group was simply a transitioning team without enough talent to contend, and though Landeskog was captain that year, the team used a leadership-by-committee approach. Landeskog credits his teammates’ support for making the job easier, and Stastny remembers him being unafraid to ask questions.

Landeskog says he asked about everything from travel-day logistics to organizing team functions. The communication didn’t translate to on-ice success that year, as the team finished 16-25-7, but it laid the groundwork for how Landeskog still views his role as captain.

“That’s how leaders learn, too: They learn from other guys,” former teammate Greg Zanon says. “I think he was born for the job.”

Before giving Landeskog the “C,” Sacco and then-Avalanche general manager Greg Sherman both reached out to Hejduk, wanting to know what he’d think of the young Swede taking over the role. Landeskog, who had just won the Calder Trophy, hadn’t been a name on Hejduk’s radar for the captaincy because of his age, but the more he thought about the decision, the more it made sense.

So he voiced his approval for the player 17 years his junior.

“What can you say negative about Gabe?” Hejduk says today.

“It was only a matter of time,” Stastny adds. “If it was fast-tracked a year, I don’t think anyone really cared. Everyone knew it was coming.”

Still, Landeskog was nervous. He’d played in only 82 NHL games and was still trying to figure out the league himself. He didn’t know how his teammates would react to such a young captain. Part of him still thinks he might not have been ready.

Despite Landeskog’s concerns, the announcement went over well with the team. Duchene and winger David Jones tweeted their congratulations, and defenseman Ryan O’Byrne remembers liking the decision when he read the news on TSN’s website.

“The only conversations I had with teammates were, ‘Gabe’s the captain. That’s so great,’” O’Byrne remembers. “Why would we wait to give him the captaincy? There’s no reason to wait. He (was) ready. He’s just that type of person.”

“Even the older guys on the team looked up to him,” adds former Avalanche left winger Cody McLeod.

Landeskog’s makeup had begun earning praise from the second he arrived in North America from Sweden. He played major junior hockey for the Kitchener Rangers in the Ontario Hockey League and became the team’s first European-born captain. Sherman praised his confidence after drafting Landeskog second in 2011, saying he was mature beyond his years.

“It was like he was 30 years old already, the way he handled himself, the way he talked to us, talked to the media,” says Ryan O’Reilly, now the Blues captain and still a friend of Landeskog’s. “Everyone respected him right away. It’s rare. It’s why he was named captain so young.”

Adds Hejduk: “I had half the maturity Gabe had at 18.”

Shortly after learning he’d become captain, Landeskog came to the Pepsi Center (now Ball Arena) for a passing-of-the-torch ceremony. Hejduk presented his successor with a burgundy Avalanche sweater featuring a white “C,” and Landeskog pulled it over his white button-up shirt. The two shook hands and posed for cameras.

When Landeskog looks back at those pictures, he can’t help but notice how young he looks. His beard had yet to grow in, and he’d fashioned his hair — lighter than it is now — to be spiky in the front.

“I feel old when I look back at those pictures, because I was definitely a little kid standing there next to (Hejduk),” he says.

“The first year, year and a half, with him, if we went out for dinner, it was like he wasn’t even allowed to have a glass of wine or a beer,” says former Avalanche center John Mitchell, adding that Landeskog struggled to win poker games on team flights.

Landeskog, who has gone from too young to drink to now sponsored by Bud Light, believes he might have been too uptight early on in his captaincy. He’s learned to relax a bit more — that a season is long and sometimes the best approach is to focus on himself. He can’t expect others to work hard or play well if he’s not doing it himself.

The Avalanche’s decision to toss Landeskog into the fray as a teenage captain allowed him to learn the role before the team entered the win-now mode it is in currently. But Colorado’s progression hasn’t been linear. In 2016-17, the Avalanche finished last in the league by 21 points. Landeskog frequently had to face tough questions from reporters when he didn’t have answers.

“It definitely takes a toll on you when you have to do that,” he says. “But at the same time, I always knew that was part of the responsibility and part of the job. Playing in the NHL, being able to wear the ‘C’ in the NHL, it’s a dream not many people get to experience.”

And in 2017-18, tides began to shift for the Avalanche. MacKinnon had his first superstar-level season, finishing second in Hart Trophy voting, and Landeskog and winger Mikko Rantanen both scored more than 20 goals. The trio ascended to become arguably the best line in hockey, and smart drafting and savvy trades gave Colorado a deep defensive core, led by Makar, the Norris Trophy runner-up as a 22-year-old this past season.

As expectations have risen, the team and its captain are still searching for a deep playoff run. The pieces are in place, and the Avalanche reached the second round each of the past three seasons. But they haven’t broken through.

This past season, the Landeskog-captained Avalanche reached the regular-season pinnacle, winning the Presidents’ Trophy, given annually to the team with the best record in the league, and they were a consensus favorite to win the Stanley Cup entering the playoffs.

Landeskog dominated the Blues in a first-round sweep, igniting the Avalanche with a Gordie Howe hat trick (fight, assist, goal) in Game 1.

“He’s the captain for a reason,” Makar said after that game.

But Colorado faltered in its next postseason matchup, against Vegas, letting a 2-0 series lead slip away and losing in the second round for the third consecutive year. The most complete Avalanche team of Landeskog’s career couldn’t get over the hump.

“I’m proud of this group,” a dejected Landeskog said after the game. “I’m excited to be a part of this group. I love all the guys in there.”

And they love him, too. Ahead of the season, MacKinnon called him “the perfect captain,” and Avalanche coach Jared Bednar described the captain as their emotional leader, someone who drives them into the fight on a nightly basis.

“Usually those types of guys, top-three picks, are franchise players,” Hejduk says. “It seems like that’s the case with Gabe. I hope he’s going to finish his whole career with the Avalanche.”

That’s what Hejduk did, spending all 14 of his seasons with Colorado, but it’s not a common path in today’s NHL.

After 10 years with the Avalanche and nine as its captain, and with so much shared history, Landeskog could be the exception.

Since he was 19, it’s felt like he would be. But the coming weeks will show if that reality has shifted.

#askos #anon #the athletic #gabriel landeskog #colorado avalanche

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cloveroctobers · 3 years

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• TALIA NASCIMENTO•

IG info/bio: @/callmetalia333 | 524k followers | Journalist | TALIA. but u may have formerly known me as user: brdf0rdsvasquiff—rip!!!1! so don’t even think about it 😌

(23) 25 going on (26) years of age

I’ve read a canon that her name is just Talia and not short for anything & I agree with that + she’s always quick to correct someone if they get it wrong too

Her hometown is Watford, England

but she was originally born in Maidenhead in the backseat of a car during a severe rainstorm

Nonetheless watford taught her all she needed to know when it came to music

She found her first love when she heard the sound of music soundtrack for the v first time as a young girl but is often nervous to admit that?

her father is Brazilian and is a firefighter

her mother is Bulgarian and works as a secretary in a elementary school

her mother is more traditional than her father when it comes to their cultures

I originally felt like she gave only child vibes but I can deff see her giving off big sis energy since she did mention she has a younger brother

V protective over her little brother

there’s a three year age difference

her parents have separated multiple times before which caused a riff in the family dynamic

The constant coming and going from her dad became quite irritating

And Talia was the most vocal by wanting them to figure it out and NOT get a divorce

Which led to talia’s commitment issues when it came to relationships herself

was born with blue eyes yet they shifted to brown once she grew

“Tom-boy” growing up & still is

netball was her sport and man was it something to see her play?! She was quick on her feet and can definitely shoot far-range with ease

Always down for contact sports too

She lost count how many bruises and scrapes she would come home with much to her mother’s horror but she would always brush it off—it was never that big of a deal to her

yet she takes time in healing her scars with homemade treatments or purchases from beauty stores when she wants to show her legs off

she didn’t get into “girly” wear until recently, she never thought too much of her body or when she started to get curves...she always hid that behind big tee’s, fitted jeans, and kicks—that’s what she was used to

she’s got broad shoulders and toned arms

had thick bushy brows that almost formed a uni brow growing up

her mother used to have her hair always plaited since she is very superstitious, believing that “the devil lives in the woman’s hair”

yet talia’s hair texture was much different than her mother’s, maybe due to the fact that her mother always had her hair up and out of the way? Talia’s hair is much bigger, heavier, and naturally curly

+ her mother used to say some harsh things in Bulgarian about her hair — that says a lot when you’re taught to hate your hair trust!!!

when she got a little older and able to manage her own hair + afford it, She learned how to love it herself and that’s all that mattered. Her hair became v important to her, it was her source of comfort

that’s the only thing she’s high maintenance about tbh

she spends a lot of money on her hair but devacurl can still piss off

diffusing is one of her fav things to do to her hair—besides washing it, and deep conditioning, after a night of letting her hair air-dry

loves rose jam

has a embroidery machine, along with a collection of her work but only one piece is showcased in her flat. She didn’t want her place to look completely like her bába’s (Bulgarian: grandmother)

her closet is filled with many Havaianas, they’re all piled up in a wicker basket and ready to tumble over on her top shelf... if she moves one of the ceramic pots her mother left in her flat for luck, that whole shelf might come crashing down

Swears drinking guaraná the next morning cures any hangover you may have

commonly sleeps in big t-shirts and panties or not or booty shorts depending on her time of the month—it’s freeing to her

Has torn her achilles due to whatever contact sport she decided to join in on during a beach vacation with her mates

has a touch of arthritis in her shoulder

this is where her love for massages came from due to injuries she’s faced

+ It’s always a good sign when you can make someone else feel better ya know?

She’s been told she’s great with her hands ;) it all takes practice

bi mami *cringe* but she likes what she likes, and feels what she feels

she kinda has a type but doesn’t want to admit that

her mother doesn’t understand this but her father easily accepted her preference/orientation

her little brother was the first she came out to, “alright!...you still suck”

always wants to fix situations WHEN it comes to HER friends but is oblivious when it’s come to her own issues whether its in relationships/friendships +

was called out by one of her friends who she often argues/butts heads with from time to time “you’re always sticking your nose in people’s business but can’t solve your own shit!”

maybe it’s the journalist in her? she’s not afraid to ask questions or look at things from a outside perspective

her group of friends are all from different ethnic backgrounds to Indian to Ethiopian

has been in and out of relationships...maybe had one stable relationship? Outside of mc but that relationship failed after a year and she feels it has something to do with her parents and how she watched their relationship unfold but won’t openly admit that

Doesn’t like to argue in relationships and often is a little undermining with how she responses to her partner’s feelings...she’s trying to be better at being understanding and listening, her mother is like this with her father

Aquarius girl + Scorpio moon + Taurus rising

loves the water + watching water sports rather than playing them since she almost drowned once by letting her confidence get the best of her

used to be a directioner and isn’t ashamed to admit that!

take me home album stan 100% bitch there’s no point in arguing!!! Buh bye!!!

She is ashamed however to admit that she used to write for them, mostly ziam fics with a touch of Harry thrown in the mix as well...take that how u will

has a few merch pieces as well, they’re mostly loungewear + that powdery perfume they dropped. YES she still has it, no she won’t sell it to u

still supports them on the low since you know, she’s a music journalist and reviewing songs is what she makes a living for so why the hell not? They will always hold a special place in her heart. She grew with those boys

she’s not in denial like Hannah that they’re get back together

If someone wants her to film a reaction vid to zayn’s new album or release a written review? She WILL. Her top 3? 1. When loves around ft Syd 2. Outside 3. Unfuckwitable

If someone wants to hear her thoughts on Harry’s mv’s + breaking down his lyrics, she’ll tell you what you NEED to know whether U agree or not she don’t give a damn lol

Can throw hands and stomp a bitch out if she needs too. Has gotten kicked out of clubs/bars for defending her friends mainly not because someone chatted shit to her, that’s whatever but once you cross her friends? It’s on

Allegra got lucky 🦶🏼☕️ and Lucy

remained super close with jake and tim as expected...Rohan’s cool too ofc! but she’s not here for their rapping shit sorry. She’ll hit them both with a quick side eye and snarl if they start or if jake wants to recite some poetry. She’s outta here

Talia hardly had issues making friends easily with the boys it was always harder with the girls :/

they hang out all the time!

she actually became close with sammi as well, which was nice to have another girl friend around even tho they weren’t together in the house long like the others. She’s spontaneous, cute, resourceful, and kind so talia had no issue reaching out to her first to see what she was about outside of the show

don’t even ask her about what she thinks of the new seasons, she’s not here to chat shit and have her words twisted like she’s watched many of the cast deal with. If you want to talk about the over kill use of pop as the soundtrack for each season, then yeah she’ll talk to you about that

doesn’t use social media much, she finds it funny how whenever she does pop back in people are begging her to post SOMETHING so that they know that she’s alive

Pretty private

she also can’t grasp why they want her to do the bussit challenge? Lmao like hey don’t get her wrong, some of them were pretty great but she’s barely got a bum to bounce and little booties matter ofc!!! but she can’t see herself doing it unless she’s drunk off her arse!!!

maybe mc can convince her...for the fans duh!!! “Give the ppl what they want! Talia! It’s not like you won’t be around music!” “I’ll think about it...nah.”

she’s been busier since the show, able to tour more and WRITE which is what she loves to do

Her secret pleasure is watching those nurse shows and firefighting shows in her free time and those singing shows you already know that’s a given

Wanted to be some form of a nurse growing up but knew she could help people in another way

*inserts* “music Is The best Medicine” overused but true quote here!!

I feel like she’s a r&b lover

listens to those hour long rain sounds on YouTube to help herself fall asleep

she‘s not the best cook but she’s a foodie and she’s down to try new food always

occasionally her and Tim are jake’s Guinea pigs when he’s whipping something up for his menu

and hates eating the same things all the time unless it’s breakfast! There’s not too much more you can do with that

that’s also her specialty, making breakfast for u in bed

Morning afters with her are intimate but humorous. She’ll poke fun if you’re both looking crazy, always joking and in the best mood whether things got physical or not she’s just happy to have you here 🥲

I think her love language is quality time

if you’re playing her route and Lucy is the ex, and you’ve decided to fully commit to each other I deff see Lucy still trying to pull some shit outside of the show just because she feels like she can but once Talia see’s that it’s really starting to get to you despite how much you try to brush it off or snap at Lucy or even Talia!!! Talia is on Lucy’s ass in seconds! She doesn’t need a ex to ruin her possible future , “you’re not gonna fuck up this good thing I’ve got just cause you’re flimsy at relationships babe, so go be a cunt somewhere else or you’ll be sorry. I promise.”

anthem: Snow Tha Product — Shut up

#litg #litg talia #litg jake #litg Tim #litg Rohan #litg mc #litg oc #litg Hannah #litg3 #litg2 #litg moodboard #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #she’s my fav along with sammi and this is my first time getting to know sammi since I’m in talias route #I’m going to try and reduce these to not making them as lengthy lol #this has also sat in my draft for about a week now #litg sammi #litg Allegra #litg Lucy

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curiosityjams · 3 years

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re: iz*one

first of all, i wanted to say i didn’t plan on writing something about the disbandment. the past few months have been incredibly rough on my mental state to the point where i feel as if i’ve lost all sense of self. shit has been so rough for me, their disbandment being confirmed made that even worse for me. however, i realized i need to learn how to be okay with like...being open about my own emotions in a time of uncertainty and writing them out helps me in a way even if a lot of those emotions i’d rather keep private. i’ve also been going thru a time where i’m currently reevaluating this past year and everything i’ve done/felt in the past few yrs (2.5 of those years being izone’s run), so i thought i’d write something about the disbandment and what iz*one means to me, esp during this point in my life. i’d write more about what led me to this point, but if i did, i’d end up writing a whole novel, so i’m just going to keep this as short as possible.

also if this is a jumbled mess, i’m sorry!!!!

since we’re here to talk about the inevitable, i just wanted to say that i’ve probably had a harder time accepting them being gone than i thought. i knew they were gonna disband eventually bc lol produce group, but also, knowing what happened with the voting scandal and the panasonic, it makes it even worse for me. i hate that they didn’t even bother to handle their disbandment in a way that wasn’t complete horseshit. i hate how the pandora screwed everything up. i hate how we didn’t even get a proper goodbye from the girls. i knew that this was going to happen, but i fucking hate how it all turned out. i can’t say i’m 100% happy with the ending and honestly, don’t think i’ll ever be able to fully accept that they’re no longer a group.

that said, i’m not here to vent.

while i’m obviously upset that they’re gone, the fact that they were ever a group to begin with--i’ll forever be grateful. i avoided getting into them for the longest time because of my own trauma from being involved in the 48 fandom (smth i’ll talk about at a later time bc it’s a lot), but the moment i decided to watch their “up” performance and actually give them a chance beyond looping la vie en rose, that’s when i fell in love. i fell in love with the music. i fell in love with the visuals. i fell in love with the bond between the girls. most of all, i fell in love with the fact that during a weird transitional period in my 20s, i found a group that gave me the closure i needed in a time where it felt like the world was against me while also giving me the strength i need to move on.

while we’re on that topic, let’s talk about kwon eunbi.

as you already know from my url, eunbi is obviously my bias. she’s the leader of the group, under the company my ult group, lovelyz, is also in, and THE absolute all-rounder. she’s extremely talented, super fucking funny, a babe of THE highest order, and the best single mom you could ever ask for. every time i watch a video of iz*one’s or look at any of their pics, i’m always in absolute awe of her. while i love all of the girls (j-line has a very special place in my heart bc of my time in 48 fandom) and do consider the entire group to be one full of bias wreckers, it’s eunbi that instantly caught my eye and the one i’m incredibly proud to call my ult.

“now, drea, why is it that you’re taking so much time with talking about how special this group and that girl are to you?” well, it’s mainly because that eunbi and i are the same age (both 95-liners, but i’m older by 2 months) that i’m so drawn to not only her, but the group as well. yeah, it’s normal to be drawn to members born in your birth year, but for me and esp in this case, it’s far more complex than it seems.

around the time i got into the group, i was (still am) going thru a quarter life crisis. i had just finished my a.a., was a few months away from turning 24, and had pretty much decided i was going to take an indefinite hiatus from twitter due to the amount of harm its done to my mental health over 10 years. i felt like shit knowing that so many people my age were living their lives, getting married, having kids, etc all that shit while i felt as if i was frozen in time and like i could never accomplish any of those things because according to society, my time was up. as a woman on the autism spectrum, i never felt like anything i did was enough and knowing that even after years of trauma, the feeling that if i don’t have my entire life sorted out by 24/25 scared the living shit out of me. knowing that a panini happened made those feelings even worse.

i know it’s weird to like...feel so many emotions over this esp since 23-25 is young and starting your career out at that age is normal. that said, knowing how eunbi was already in a group prior to joining iz*one that ended up disbanding months after they debuted, the road she took to get to where she is now, and the fact that she’s 25/26 and will get so many chances to start over is what gives me hope after such a shit year. i can finally get to where i want to be, i’ll graduate from university, i’ll hopefully get a job that will earn me enough money to move out of my mom’s house, i’ll find love, etc who the fuck knows what’s going to happen? i hate that after years of hating myself and being afraid of getting older because people often have this mentality that you should abandon all sense of yourself once you hit your mid 20s, it’s taken me THIS long to actually start accepting myself for who i am and living my life for myself, but i’m excited to see where the fuck life takes me after years of self-hatred, trauma, and trying too hard to please ppl that don’t give a shit. seeing eunbi just have a fucking blast on stage, take care of her members, and overall be the amazing person she is gave me the strength i desperately needed to actually get to the path i want to be on as someone that’s a few years away from turning 30.

as i said earlier, i’m not ready to just outright accept iz*one being gone. i’ll probably spend the entire month of may just watching their content since there’s still a shitton of stuff i have yet to watch and i’m lowkey embarrassed that as a fan, i’m admitting this, but also: there’s no time limit. i can always watch that video at another time, i’ll like that pic later, etc. i wish iz*one was one of those things that had no time limit because i’ll always cherish them, but in the 2.5 years of their existance, i achieved some big things and survived a pandemic. i left twitter, got closure in chapters i needed closure in, finished my a.a., etc among many other things during that time and it’s partly because of iz*one that i’ve pushed myself to do all of those things. it’s hard esp since it’s easier to just write smth like this on tumblr than actually do it, but the girls and their music were part of the reason why 2020 wasn’t a complete dumpster fire for me.

most of all, i wanted to write this because i wanted to shout-out the amazing folks at @izonetwork. i joined super late in the game, but the convos i’ve had, the laughs we’ve had on discord/among us, etc i’ll never forget it. meeting all of you was one of THE highlights of an otherwise shitty year and i’ll always credit you as one of the reasons why i wasn’t completely emotionally distant during such a dark time. all of you keep me grounded and i’m forever grateful. super honored to call you guys my friends. <3

so yeah, thank you iz*one. thank you, eunbi, sakura, hyewon, yena, chaeyeon, chaewon, minju, nako, hitomi, yuri, yujin, and wonyoung. i don’t speak korean or japanese, but know i’m eternally grateful for all the joy, strength and bops you gave me in the past 2.5 years. i’m even more grateful for the friends i’ve met thru my own fandom of the group. i’m excited to see what every single one of you does next regardless of what it may be.

now if you’ll excuse me, i have to go catch up on all the enozis i’ve missed.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

#izone #kpop #be quiet drea

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heirs-of-prythian · 4 years

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I'm sorry, I think the translator translated it wrong :( (I'm going to rephrase the question) I'm so curious ... what was the reaction of Rhys, Cassian, Azriel and Lucien when they discovered they were going to be parents? and what are your feelings when having your babies in your arms for the first time

hi!

thanks for asking! if you have more questions, please ask i would love to answer them!

Well to answer your question we should start with Lucien because from the the four of them he is the first one to be a parent (than Cassian, Rhysand and than Azriel) so…..

Lucien

When Elain told Lucien that she was preggo and he will be a dad, he was pretty stunned and in disbelief, because at this point they didn't really have planned for children yet.

I mean they definitely discussed children and agreed that they wanted them, like more than 3 if that could happen/if they managed to do so.

So the news came a little like a shock to lucien, because he didn't thing it would happen that fast,

Especially since Rhys and feyre are still trying without real results

i mean He and elain didn't really use protection, because they wanted children and it usually takes a lot of time for fae to actually conceive in the first place but well it happened rather fast lol

But after the shock (and the guilt) wore off and he was really happy

Like taking Elain in his arms and twirling her around, showering her in kisses etc

Of course was also pretty worried about being a dad but that is normal for anyone, but also very much expected from someone with luciens upbringing

(He knew Elain was going to be a great mother)

But lucien swore to himself that would try to emulate his mother more than his (step)father beron

He also swore that he would make his future children never feel like they didn't belong to their family and that they always will have a place of unconditional love and support and adoration from him

When Hemera was born, Lucien has never fallen in love faster (the other ones in the top spot are is other daughters)

Of course Elain held Hemera first, but after everything (including elain and Hemera) was cleaned up, they were left alone to be a family of three

Elain than gave the now sleeping and still slightly red Hemera to Lucien

Lucien felt like flying to New heights and falling without stopping to the ground. And he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Hemera was at the most beautiful thing he has ever seen (in lucien's opinion all of his daughters are the most beautiful there is, with elain in close second)

He also couldn't believe he was now responsible for this tiny little thing that was completely und utterly dependent on him

He also found that loving his tiny baby daughter came as easy as breathing

Never in his life has he been surer of his love for someone else

Caspian

Similar to lucien, cassian was also shocked and in complete disbelief

He actually asked Nesta with she was kidding (the words came out before he had processed the situation) Nesta got mad at him for that ("This is not the time to be joking cassian!")

Unlike elucien, Nesta and cassian actually have talked about having children together, but Nesta didn't want to be a mother right away, so they agreed to decide later in the future (after a few decades mind you) again if than would the better time have a child.

They are immortals anyway so it didn't really matter

Nesta wasn't that thrilled to be a mother but she also didn't hate the idea of one child

Cassian on the other hand wanted to have children like at least 5 or so but he would never force her for more, also he loves nesta more than the idea of 5 children

One is actually more than Cassian expected from Nesta so he was very happy about that

Tl Dr: Cassian and Nesta didn't plan to have child this early (like ~5 years after Hemera which is like 25 years after canon)

So cassian didn't actually believe nesta when she told him for good 10 minutes

After he finally realised that he is going to be a father, he was beyond happy he felt like screaming his happiness from the highest mountain

But it only lasted for like 30 seconds before he realised what that actually meant and than asked nesta if she was ok and how she is handling this and how she felt

Nesta was pretty out of it and not that ok with it (she didn't hated it the thought about going to be a mom soon, especially since her niece hemera was born she came to fear the idea less and less)

But after a few days and a lot of encouragement from her sisters and cassian, Nesta grew to be ok with, maybe not entirely loving it, but willing to learn to love it

So when Cassian got to hold Cadan the first time in his arms, he was crying rivers, he cried so much his vision was blurry and Cadan looked like a blob of color to him.

Tho the first thing he noticed was that cadan was so freaking tiny especially in his big hands

Cadan wasn't much bigger than his hands

Cassian had never held a baby so tiny (even Hemera was bigger when she was born, not by much but definitely bigger)

Another thing cassian first thought of is that, that is how unconditional love of a parent to their child feels like. Cassian finally understood something that day

Also like whispered to cadan softly, that he would protect him Forever and love him forever

"You're my new most important person now, Cade. You beat your mommy congrats!" *Kiss on the forhead*

Cassian also playfully refused to let cadan go

Rhysand

Rhys and Feyre have been actively trying to have baby for about 30 years when they finally find out Feyre is pregnant

They were both crying from happiness and relieve and joy they could do nothing but cry and hug each other the whole night through

They (mostly feyre because she still isn't 100% used to being immortal so 30 years still feel long to her) actually were losing hope decade by decade

(They haven't lost a lot of hope yet, they just started to lose some of it, especially after elain and than nesta of all people got pregnant without even trying)

Like rhys wanted to tell everyone himself that his wife is preggo and that he is going to be a father

He could barely contain himself

He also could barely stop cuddling or hugging feyre

Instead of feyre getting clingy rhys got clingy lol

It got on feyre's nerves a little

Rhys already promised himself to become the best dad possible

Both because he already loves is future baby and wants everything good for them, but also to compete with lucien and cassian for the title

So Rhys got to hold his son at exactly midnight of New years eve his son having been born an hour prior

Rhys had found the love he already had for his tiny little son grow so much it made him speechless and he cried more (Rhys cried when Art was born)

Rhys didn't know he could someone as much as he loves his tiny newborn son at that moment

For Rhys holding his son was his new favorite thing to do, just having Art in his arms makes Rhys immeasurably happy

Art was to Rhys the most beautiful thing in the world, beating feyre right from the top (he is now sharing the top spot with his sisters)

(I also have a fic about Rhys and a newborn Artemas its called "A Little Moon was born" it has far more details of rhys thoughts)

Azriel

When Leda (my oc, Azriels wife for those who don't know) and Azriel were again informed that Leda was pregnant again they were cautiously optimistic

Because Leda already had two miscarriages at this point and they had been trying for a good 70-60 years

Well leda was cautiously optimistic azriel not so much, he was already bracing himself for the worst, he only dared to have a small glimmer of hope that all will end well

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months and the baby and Leda were healthy and not in any tangible danger

So leda grew more optimistic and Azriel dared to hope more

And as the pregnancy came closer and closer to its end and all healer agreed that a miscarriage this late and with the baby's and Leda's conditions were highly highly unlikely

Az could hope more, but he was still bracing himself for the worst

Only when he hurt Echo scream for the first time, did it hit him, that he now was father, that he had a daughter

Azriel literally fell in love with her the second she was in his arms,

Az claims that was the best moment in his life, the best feeling even

He had never seen anything more precious than his tiny adorable echo with her tiny wings and tiny hands and fingers and her tiny feet with her tiny tiny toes and her big amber eyes that stared up at him with a cute curiosity

"For your happiness, I would do great atrocities, my little wonder."

(p.s. for the anon who wanted some dad Azriel and baby echo here you go!

#azriel #Anonymous #Echo Vanserra #echo #elucien #hemera #nessian #cadan archeron #Feysand #Artemas #hop headcanons

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thebraingremlinsaremad · 3 years

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Daily Blog #15: August 22, 2021

Dollar Tree is honestly pretty fucking awesome 👌👌👌

I set my alarm for like 6:25 this morning, but it took 6 minutes for the "Horsin' Around" theme song instrumental to wake me up. I was pretty tired lol. I just dismissed it and went back to sleep.

I only went back to sleep because I knew I had another alarm set for 7:00. That got me up.

I should mention that this was still in the RV over an hour away from the house.

After I got up, I went to go get a shower, and did so successfully.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten my brush this time and had to do it afterwards after my hair had a bit of time to dry, which did make it a little more difficult lol.

I got dressed and grabbed my stuff, putting it into my car.

I made it a point to see and say "see you later" to my grandparents before I left for the flea market.

My dad insisted that I stayed to say goodbye to my mom, so I left.

I did NOT have cell service up there, as was mentioned in my previous 2 blogs of which I could only post today, so finding my way was a tiny bit difficult until I got some service to ask Google to take me to "...".

It worked and I got there.

On my drive, I listened to 1 by Simple Kid, a CD I had previously purchased at a Dollar Tree location.

I got a call from the guy at the flea market saying that I had some people there waiting for me. He asked how far away I was, to which I said "about 10 minutes." Ironically, that call made me miss my exit, as Google couldn't talk during the call, and added about 3 minutes to my arrival time lmao.

I did sell the Xbox that he said someone was interested in. I got $40 for it. I spent 27¢ on it. Pretty good return if you ask me.

I couldn't sell it with anything other than a power cord because the controller and AV cables I had been using to play it there were for my personal console. I'm just glad I can actually hook my Xbox up and stop having to drag them to the flea market along with a small library of games.

Not too long after I sold the Xbox, someone came in and asked if I wanted to see some electronics he had in his car. I went out with him. It was a pair of 3ft speakers and a Pioneer audio system with dual cassette decks (although neither of them works) and a 25 Disc CD-changer, as well as the standard AM/FM tuner. Additionally, there was a Fisher amplifier and AM/FM tuner as well as a Fisher Direct Drive turntable. He said he wanted $60 for em, but before that he casually, and probably accidentally, dropped that he was just gonna take em to the thrift store.

Big mistake.

I got em for $35 lmao. THERE GOES MOST OF MY PROFIT.

Oh well.

I tested everything. As I mentioned, the cassette decks don't work, but everything else does apart from the turntable needing a new stylus.

I posted some new photos of the shop to Facebook, and someone soon DMed me about a stereo system.

I priced everything, and it turns out I have about $300 worth of equipment from that deal, the Fisher amp and tuner being worth about $150.

The buyer will hopefully show up next weekend, for he wants to buy the Fisher stuff ($185 with the turntable), the 3ft speakers, an 8-track deck, and a Kenwood deck we've had for a week or two.

The speakers are listed for $50 (and are worth around $100-150), the Kenwood Deck for $50 as well, and the 8-track for $35. That makes it about $320 in equipment. Since he's buying so much, I'll knock it down to $270 and essentially give him the speakers or cassette deck for free lol.

Apart from that stuff, not much happened at the flea market. I sold some records, cassettes, CDs and I think 2 DVDs. One person bought a VHS tape? That money was the other guy's though. Oh well xD.

I can't say that I didn't miss my wonderful partner while on the trip. I actually brought along the stuffed animal they gave me (who's name is Greg) and snuggled with him both nights.

I was very happy to hear from them UwU.

They let me rant and I let them rant.

I honestly give them too much responsibility over me xD. I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna do this. HOLD ME TO IT."

I know I can't hold myself to anything I personally say (this blog being the only exception apparently), but I listen to them pretty well I think 🤔. If they tell me, "No, you don't need that VCR," so long as it's not some weird specialty thing, like a worldwide VCR 🥵, I'll be like "Yeah, you rite bro."

I love you man xD. You control my craziness pretty well. I'm so thankful for you UwU.

#relationshipgoals

So part way through the flea market day, I went over to Dollar Tree to buy some snack, but ended up looking through the CDs to see if there was anything good. I took photos of about 18 CDs and flipped through them online for the remainder of the flea market day.

I deleted the photos of the ones I didn't want and kept those that I liked. Surprisingly, I ended up buying 13 CDs there, but not before dropping them on the floor like the dumbass I am.

Also, sorry for all the nerd shit I spilled on your lap earlier. No one cares about amps and tuners xD.

I'M LISTENING TO ONE OF THE DOLLAR TREE CDS RIGHT NOW THO.

I already transferred over to my online library on iBroadcast and put the disc into my CD changer, which is now holding 164 CDs.

Its max capacity is 300 discs 🥵

WHY AM I NERD

Oh well

I like being a nerd gurl

Also maybe a technosexual 👀

I get really excited over some electronics. Like. REALLY excited.

Some editing VCRs are like "Holy shit that is SEXY. Look at those goddamn VU meters 🥵. And hhhh there are like 7 inputs on this thing and individual controls for left and right audio gain, not to mention Hi-Fi S-VHS recording. Hhhhhhhhhhh please gimme 😭. Why are you so expensive?"

I uh, mean, uh, *cough* look, pretty lights.

Oh yeah, I was gonna say the album I was listening to xD. MAN I GOT SIDETRACKED.

It's 37 Everywhere by Punchline. Def give it a listen; it's pretty heccin good.

Another notable album I picked up was Page One by Steven Page. I very much like the first track, "A New Shore." It's quite catchy and he has a great voice imo.

Also at dollar tree, I bought a regular bag of Fieras and 2 bags of Fieras Sticks, which were marked down to 75¢/bag because they're expiring soon.

I honestly like the generic Dollar Tree version of Takis more than actual Takis. They're a lot more flavorful when it comes to the lime, but also hotter at the same time.

Don't get the hot nacho ones tho. Hot nacho? More like hot pile of shit.

HAH

Goteem.

They're not that good xD.

THE REGULAR ONES ARE FIRE THO

"How do you do fellow kids?"

I got home and started working on putting the CDs onto my computer, and then onto iBroadcast, but not without first adding The Music Man to my digital library, something I had neglected for a month or two. The CD had just been sitting there lol.

I also switched my digital file for "The Black Parade" to that of the uncensored CD, which I had purchased before I event started working over 2 months ago.

MAN I'M LAZY

I eventually get around to shit tho lol. I guess it's just a matter of priority.

What usually takes priority is digging through everything to find something that I forgot about but then remembered, making a mess in the process that I would then have to clean up, at least partially.

I think the album just ended. I've been writing for a while xD. I'ma start "I Made You Something" by The Island of the Misfit Toys.

I'll tell you where that album came from in a minute.

In the meantime, where was I?

I kinda lost my train of thought despite reading up to see where I was. Oh well. On I go.

I ate dinner and kept working on those CDs, eventually putting my clothes from the week into the washer.

I FORGOT TO PUT MY SHAPING UNDERWEAR IN. FUCKING HELL MAN.

I wanted to wash em for this week 😭

No tight pants for Leonna I guess qwq.

Meanwhile, the box of my CD album cases is overflowing. I need another box.

I keep all of the album artworks in a big CD folder. That's almost full.

I wanna fill my entire CD changer. That's one of my big goals in life. Idk why, but I just wanna legitimately fill the entire thing.

My clothes are in the dryer now. I don't think I have the time (or energy) to fold them tonight. I'll leave that for tomorrow morning before work.

And God. Fucking. Damnit. I start school again on Wednesday. NOT looking forward to that, and neither are my 2 coworkers. We already have low enough staff, but only the two of them working is gonna be a pain in the ass.

I'll still work Saturdays.

I need to contact my guidance counselor to get out of the gym class I signed up for. I scheduled this shit before I found out I was trans, and I don't wanna deal with the fucking locker room situation 🙄 I have far more important matters.

Okay so anyway, the album I'm listening to came from a cassette. I bought this cassette a few months ago at the flea market along with a few others. The reason I bought them? They were all newer cassette releases from the 2010's, and they're all actually pretty good music from very indie bands.

Currently getting mad at iBroadcast's compression algorithm. It's unnaturally fucking anything over -10db up. Oh well, there's not really anything I can do about it.

I have like 13GB of music on my phone btw. That's about 3.5k songs on 268 albums.

I'm kind of an audiophile, but I'm too cheap to pay for a lossless service. Oh well.

They do actually have a lossless service on iBroadcast, but once again, too cheap.

Someone just sent me a friend request who legitimately posted that BLM and the democratic party are hate groups.

BLOCK.

Goodbye ho.

I don't get that. They call the democratic party a hate group when they hate people like me, and I, being more of a democrat although not fully because the 2-party system is fucked, think nothing more of them than they're very wrong about certain things, especially, as shown, that black people, as well as asian, Indian, native, and people of all ethnicities and backgrounds, are not equal to white people.

Yeh.

Totally.

You go buddy.

Anyway, yeah, I can, and do, convert music and video from analog formats to digital files in order for me to archive and listen to whenever and wherever I please. I've actually made a bit of a business out of it, but I don't get too much work from it. At least I'm not overloading myself xD.

I honestly have so much more to say, but I should probably go to sleep soon.

A few final shoutouts to the following people and companies:

-Dollar Tree

-Steven Page

-Broken World Media

-The Island of Misfit Toys

-Simple Kid

-Punchline

-My incredible partner QwQ I love you so much. Thanks for being the best all the time. I hope I can give you the best life ever.

Anyway I suppose this is goodnight. Lmk if you want a full list of the CDs I bought today! I'll link that song by Steven Page here.

And here's a good song from Simple Kid

I really like music lol. Enjoy these pieces.

Anyway, goodnight lol.

Lots of love,

-Leonna.

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sqtrgrl · 3 years

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Self loathing #1

Growing up is hard when you have Asian parent and are boomers, lol. They are addicted in shaping their children's lives some succeeded and some ended up being a rebel. I Guess I was a rebel? I had a secret boyfriend for 2 years and we were pretty toxic to the point that I failed most of my subjects during the 1st term of my college, my dad knew about it and took my phone away and I literally snapped and did cuts. well im a really fucked up daughter back then. I begged for him to take me back because after trying to take my freaking life he sent me to my mom’s hometown (it was more like a rehab place for me) they were supportive as hell and my boyfriend back then bailed on me like literally he went AWOL so fuck him. I went back for college try to make everything right again but then things fucked up because I met a guy who’s manipulative. I was so eager to be loved or to feel love to the point that I no longer know what kind of love I deserve because I can’t feel anything affectionate from my own parents. Things didnt end well for the both of us, I was a complete mess and I just stopped looking for love I was sick of it. sick of not getting the same love I am giving I focused on studies and friends and I was so happy until I met another guy who’s 7 years older than me, Architecture is his second degree, he’s so kind and amazing. we started going out but with friends of course, I didnt want it that time but it just happened I fell for him and now we’re on our 25 months of being together no fighting and not a toxic relationship though we indeed had a hard time before but mainly because I have trust issues already. He reciprocate everything I do for him and he even gives me more. he stopped working when the pandemic started and we had so much time to video call each other but now that he started working I felt so low. I’m supposed to be graduating this 2020 but I extended because its so hard to get subjects and I failed a bunch of subjects back then. I feel so unmotivated to study my profession. im being lazy and I complain about it in my mind that im not doing what i am supposed to be doing. I mean others are done with their thesis defense and some are working students at a firm while schooling. I keep comparing but what am I really doing to change it?

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horansqueen · 4 years

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You & Me : chapter 28

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k - 4.3k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: filler chapter again sorry! but i tried to make it cute! i didnt plan a sex scene but its there sooo yea haha lol

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : 2 requests! i hope i wrote them right! love them btw! please keep sending them!!!

Chapter 28 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I thought we would have sex before we went to bed but I must have fallen asleep faster than I wanted to. Niall also probably undressed me because when I woke up in the middle of the night, I was wearing his shirt and nothing else. I smiled, keeping my eyes closed, and brought my shoulder closer to my nose. It smelled like him even if he probably didn't wear it for too long since he had a buttoned shirt at the wedding. I turned around in bed, trying to reach him with my arm but he wasn't there and I let out a short whimper before forcing myself to open my eyes.

The room was dark and quiet and it made a shiver run in my back. I got up and realized his shirt was a bit short. I searched through my stuff for a clean pair of panties and put it on before quietly getting out of the room. Everything was dark except for a very low and warm light in the living room. I walked slowly closer and leaned against the wall when I saw Niall sitting on the couch. He was writing very quickly in his notebook and he was so concentrated that he didn't even notice me. It was always special for me to see him when he seemed to be so deep in his thoughts that no one could get in his bubble. His hair was a mess and once in a while, he ran his hand in it, making the mess even worse. I stared at him for a while as he kept his focus on the paper, wearing only his boxers and making me realize he probably woke up in the middle of the night with an idea that he couldn't let go of. Something that he knew he wouldn’t remember in the morning but that he just had to write about.

I didn't know how long I stayed there but I didn't want to interrupt him or distract him. I just walked back to the room after a while and lied down in bed, looking at the ceiling. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened to me in the past few months and somehow, I felt like everything was going for the better. The more time passed, the more It seemed like I was discovering who I was and what I wanted.

It was so obvious that what I wanted was Niall but more than that, what I really wanted was a healthy relationship with Niall. I wanted us to be the kind of couple that would drip with sweetness but that also could spend time without each other without going crazy. I wanted him to be my best friend but not my only friend and I didn't want either of us to be afraid, insecure, jealous or unhappy. I knew I was asking a lot, and I knew not everything could be perfect all the time, but I knew Niall and I together could come very fucking close to perfection.

I tried to stay awake until he came back to sleep but once again, I probably had fallen asleep despite myself because when I woke up again, the sun was already up and I had a small headache. I groaned and this time, I knew he was still in bed. I could feel the warmth of his body close to mine and I turned in the sheets, wrapping my arm around his back. His cheek was flat against the mattress just like his chest and I watched him sleep, his lips parted and slightly twisted as he let out a low snore. Fuck, he was so hot and I just stared at him with my eyes half-open for a few minutes, or maybe 15? 20? Who knew?

When I realized how bad I needed to pee, I finally got up very slowly, making sure I wouldn't wake him up. He was always up before me but I knew he had been up a big part of the night to write something and I wanted him to get the rest he needed and clearly deserved.

I made coffee and stayed next to the coffee machine as I watched it fall down, yawning a few times before adding cream and sugar in my cup. I couldn't stop thinking about him going on tour and being separated from him for weeks and it made something twist in my chest. Of course, I didn't want to be the girl who would follow him everywhere. I was not that girl anymore. I was not dependent of the man I loved, and I had stuff to do and commitments, too. We were about to start filming the new season of my tv show and although I dreaded playing with Dylan I knew it was something we had to do. It would be awkward at first, for sure, but in the end, I knew he was professional and I promised myself I would be, too.

I finished my coffee but left the cup in the sink before walking to the living room. It was supposed to be a lazy day and I was surprised my head didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, or that I wasn't nauseous at all despite all the champagne I had drank the night before.

I sat on the couch and pushed the stuff on it to find the remote. It showed that I was spending time at Niall's : his place had never been so messy and I suddenly felt guilty. I finally found the remote but looked at it before sighing, putting it back on the coffee table as I took the decision to clean a bit while he was still asleep. Something caught my attention and even if I knew I shouldn't, I grabbed hos notebook to the page it was opened and started reading. Niall rarely shared his writing with random people until it was a final product and all the songs I had heard was because I had crept on him somehow. I was not proud of it but at the same time, he never really seemed angry about it. I remembered that time when we were all at his place and I had followed the sound of his guitar until I practically fell in the room like a loser as he was playing a song. At that time, I had thought it was about Heidi but now that I knew it was about me, I wished I could remember what the lyrics were. All I could remember was that I had deeply hoped that it was for me. That thought made something twist in my chest and I licked my lips before letting my eyes roam on the words I was probably not supposed to see.

"I want the world to witness When we finally say I do It's the way you love I gotta give it back to you I can't promise picket fences Or sunny afternoons But, at night when I close my eyes"

A lot of words seemed to be scratched a few times and then I could read something that seemed like a chorus.

"Yeah, I see us in black and white Crystal clear on a star lit night In all your gorgeous colors I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life See you standing in your dress Swear in front of all our friends There'll never be another I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life"

I swallowed and ran my fingers on the ink, feeling the tiny rifts and bumps in the paper and feeling my heart beating so fast in my chest that I had a hard time to breathe.

"Now, we're sitting here in your living room Telling stories while we share a drink or two And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind We're 65 and you ask "When did I first know?" I always knew."

And just when I thought it was probably not about me, I saw a word that was also scratched at the end of the lyrics and I could swear it started with a capital O. I grabbed the notebook, moving it up and putting the simple sheet where the song was written in the light. It appeared clearly. My name at the bottom. I didn't know why it was crossed out and I was not sure I wanted to know. but as I re-read the lyrics for the tenth time, I couldn't lie to myself anymore. It was a wedding song.

After a few minutes, I finally started moving again. I cleaned the living room, washed the dishes, started laundry and even started cleaning the windows. All while thinking about the song, the lyrics hitting inside my brain and doing something incredible to my heart : something I hadn't felt ever before. I would never tell him but if Niall asked me to marry him at this exact moment, I would say yes. Was it because of the great time we had the night before? Or maybe because we were so happy together these days? I had no idea. But I knew I'd say yes in a heartbeat. Tomorrow, I couldn't tell you what my answer would be but today? It would be a million times yes.

I saw him walk behind me in the reflection of the now extra clean windows and my lips immediately curled. He placed himself behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning his chin on my shoulder, and suddenly, I felt so much better than I did only a few minutes ago, even if I was still happy before.

"You should have waken me up." he whispered in my ear. "I would have helped you. Especially that you're cleaning wearing only a shirt and panties. I'd love to see you on all four as you clean the floor."

I laughed and raised my nose up as he kissed a spot near my ear. It was not only my love for him that made my heart jump when he was near, it was more than that. It was who he was, who I hoped he would always be.

"Tell me you'll always do that, that you'll always say things like that."

He pulled away slightly and turned his head more to look at me. I waited for his answer but he was waiting for me to look at him and I gave in, my eyes finally meeting his.

"Hold you? Kiss you? Tell you that I love and lust you?" he asked low, raising his eyebrows. I bit my bottom lip and nodded. "I promise. I swear. You have my words. And my heart. And my body, soul and mind."

My traits softened and I turned in his arms to face him, wrapping mine around his neck, moving my chin up to kiss him. He pushed me gently against the window as we kissed and I felt my butt press against it, making me chuckle.

"I'm gonna have to clean that window again." I let out with a smile as he chuckled against my lips.

"Or, you know, we can leave it like that." he proposed, shrugging a shoulder. "Your butt print seems like a nice decoration."

I'm the one who laughed this time. "You? Leaving a dirty window without touching it? Who are you trying to fool, Horan?"

"Don't call me that." he just said in a serious tone, raising his eyebrows.

"Or what?"I asked, teasing him with a sassy voice.

"Or I'm gonna tickle you." he pointed out, making my heart skip a beat. "I'm gonna tickle you until you beg me to stop."

"Sure, Horan." I tried to provoke him, putting emphasis on his last name.

He stared at me for a few seconds but suddenly and quickly, he picked me up and brought me to the couch. I was surprised that he could actually support my weight and he finally let me fall on the couch as I bounced on the cushions but he quickly straddled me, grabbing my wrists and pulling them over my head. When was the last time we played like that? It had been so long I couldn't remember.

"Apologize now." he ordered, looking down at me.

I could feel his grip tighten on my wrists and I licked my lips. "Never."

"Last chance." he let out, making me smirk.

"Bite me, Horan."

Quickly, he brought his free hand to my waist and started tickling me. Immediately, I started squirming, trying to get out of his grip as I let out a few high pitched yells. It made him laugh and it made me remember how much I hated to be tickled. After a while, he stopped and my lips parted as I started panting.

"You looking like that? God. Makes me want to tie you up and have my way with you."

I let out a short laughter and he started tickling me again until I started screaming his name.

"Niall! Niall stop! I c-can't!"

He did as I asked and smirked. "Beg me." he let out, shaking his eyebrows. "Apologize and beg me."

"Mm, I'm so sorry, Niall." I whispered with puppy eyes. "Please I'm begging you, stop tickling me?"

"Don't you fucking pout like that, it makes me want to fuck your mouth."

I laughed louder this time, tilting my head back slightly and closing my eyes as I felt his hand run up my breasts.

"And you say I'm the horny one!"

"Heyyy!" he argued with a frown. "I fingered you last night and I didn't cum at all, remember?"

My smirk disappeared and I just smiled at him. "You want to cum now?"

He groaned and raised his nose up. "I feel like all we do is fuck."

I shrugged and he finally let go of my wrists. I brought my hands to his pants and slid one in them, raising my eyebrows again but in surprise this time.

"You went commando?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he reached for my shirt and moved it up to expose my breasts as I took his cock out of his pants, stroking him slowly with both my hands. He breathed in and then out, letting out a very short whimper and one of his hands moved back to reach between my legs. He moved two of his fingertips on my panties, brushing against my clit and I pressed my lips together. I tried to focus on what my hands were doing and spit on his cock before running my fingers right under his tip. He groaned and brought his hand back to grab one of my breasts hard and I started stroking him harder.

"That feels so fucking good." he admitted, running his thumb on my nipple. "I tried doing that to myself and it just doesn't work. It has to be your hands."

I didn't tell him but it probably could have been anyone's hands except his and even if he probably knew it, I didn't want to point it out just in case. He took his cock in his hands, making me hold my breath and take my hands away and quickly, he tapped his cock on my tits before rubbing his tip on my nipples.

"Please, petal, push your tits together."

My heart jumped so high in my chest that I had to swallow it back.

"Niall, I don't think my boobs are big enough to-"

"Do it." he cut me.

I bit my bottom lip and did as he asked, just watching him spit in his hand and rub his cock again. My lips parted when he put his cock between my breasts and he was so focused on what he was doing that he didn't even look at me again. I could pretend otherwise but watching him using me to cum was actually exciting and when he groaned, I pressed my thighs together as I felt my pussy throb. I loved the feeling of his cock sliding quickly between my breasts and the thought in itself was driving me insane. After a while, he took his dick back in his hand and started jerking off harder until his lips parted.

"Jesus Christ." he whispered as I held my breath.

He shook slightly over me, moaning low as his cum spurted on my chest and breasts. I just remained motionless as he came down from his high, letting out a low 'fuck" and rubbing his tip on my nipples again, spreading his cum on me.

He sighed and sat on me, putting his cock back in his pants as I stared at him and he shook his head.

"I'm so.. so sorry. I was just so..."

"Horny? Yea I noticed." I chuckled, letting my lips curl as he finally looked back at me.

"I didn't really give you much attention, did I?" he asked, raising his nose up. I could read guilt on his face and my lips curled. "I'm sorry, pet."

"I'm just... I'm glad I made you cum. Didn't think that would be so exciting, but it was." I admitted, pulling my shirt back over my breasts as he laughed. "Also didn't think it was possible with my boobs."

"Your boobs are perfect." he pointed out before getting up and holding his hand out for me.

I put my hand in his and his fingers gripped mine as he helped me get up, letting his eyes roam on my face. He bent down to kiss me and I closed my eyes at the way it made my heart jump in my chest.

"Lazy day yea?" he proposed in a breath, his mouth still pressed against mine. "You go take a shower and I'll close all the curtains, find a good tv show to binge on netflix, and order something, chinese maybe?"

I nodded quickly and smiled. "That sounds perfect."

I took a quick shower and put on a pair of his sweatpants and one of his shirts and when I got back in the living room, he had brought pillows and blankets, a few beers and was waiting for me with the remote in hands. I stared at him for a while, just trying to live the moment and realize how lucky I was, before finally sitting next to him. He looked up at me with a smile and I pushed the pillows away to lean against his chest as his back was against the side of the couch. His legs were spread but they moved a bit close to both my sides, kind of to trap me close to him. He tried to put the blanket over us and I helped him before squirming slightly to be more comfortable.

"Hey, watch the goods, yea?"

I laughed but still took care of where I was moving and he wrapped one of his arms around me.

"Remember this spot because food will be there in half an hour and we're gonna have to do it all over again." he said, making me groan and making him laugh. "Seriously though, it feels good to have you here with me just to have a lazy day."

I felt my heart swell and smiled more, turning to kiss his jaw gently. He looked down and his lips met mine and he deepened the kiss just as the first episode of a series we both wanted to watch started.

"How will I be able to focus on anything but you today, mm?" I let out, half-joking.

He rolled his eyes with a low chuckle and we both focused on the tv for a while. I groaned when the doorbell rang and he laughed again. I sat up to let him get up and when he came back with the food, I realized how hungry I was. we ate again in silence but I couldn't stop glancing at him. There was something endearing in the way he used his chopsticks to push the noddles in his mouth and I only realized I was staring when he turned his gaze to me and chuckled. I blinked a few times and looked away as he swallowed his food.

"It's okay, you can stare. I stare at you too, you know. You just don't notice."

I felt my heart jump in my chest and put my food away.

"Just like I stared at you for about twenty minutes in the middle of the night." I confessed, making him frown. "You were sitting here, in only your boxers, and you were writing. You were so focused on what you were doing that you never noticed me."

I couldn't add that I had found him gorgeous with his messy hair and his tired eyes. I couldn't say that I had felt a wave of love so strong that I almost started crying. I couldn't tell him that because it still embarrassed me to be so in love with him. Not because I didn't want to be, but because I was scared I would end up losing him again.

His lips curled into a smile and he pushed the air out of his lungs. "I was writing a song. For you. About you."

My lips crashed against his and he replied to the kiss quickly, pushing his tongue deep in my mouth as I whimpered. He didn't know that I had read it and I suddenly felt guilty but he literally confirmed that his lyrics were about me and somehow, it made me ecstatic. So ecstatic that I surprised myself wishing he'd ask me to marry him as soon as our lips would part.

"I didn't know if I should tell you but, Olivia, I'm so happy we're both single right now. I know it's wrong to say that but fuck, I'm happy with you. Just you and I. No guilt, no stress, no question. You and me, living this moment."

I kissed him again, not knowing what to answer. I was happy too. I was happier than I had ever been, even before we broke up, and I didn't want anything to change. I didn't want to jinx this by claiming my happiness out loud. I didn't want to risk this happiness with an official relationship because last time didn't end well. It was ridiculous. All my fears made no sense, but it didn't make them vanish to know that.

"I love you, Niall." I whispered, leaving small kisses slowly on his mouth, jaw and cheeks. "I love you more than anything. No one is you."

He finally let go of his chopsticks to cup my face and he breathed in before his mouth found mine again.

"I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life." he murmured quickly before kissing me again.

My heart jumped when I recognized the lyrics and it made me wonder how often he talked to me with his own lyrics. I wanted to hear all of them. One time, twice, three times... a hundred fucking times. I wanted him to play me all the songs that were for me, to sing them, to whisper them, to yell them. I wanted him to make love to me while he'd do it, to hold my hand as we walked outside as he'd sing, to fucking marry me as he'd yell. I wanted him to claim his love for me until I'd be tired to hear it. And deep down, I knew I'd never be.

"I have a weekend left before I leave for tour." he just said sadly, breaking my heart. "I thought we could leave. Pack a bag, take the road, only you and me, for a few days."

My lips curled so much that my cheeks started hurting and I quickly nodded. I really wanted to spend quality time with him while it was still possible and I kissed his lips again.

"That's a yes?" he made sure as I nodded. "Okay then, we're leaving in 3 days. So cancel all the plans you had."

I laughed and licked my lips, licking his at the same time because of the proximity of our mouths.

"Niall? I'm sorry, I had planned to spend all my days with you but this super hot guy just asked me on a road trip so I'm gonna have to rain check."

He laughed and shook his head slightly. "Dork."

He pulled away slightly to stare at me as we completely forgot the show playing. I grabbed the remote and put it on pause before looking back at him and tilting my head. I needed him more than I ever needed him before and it was scaring me so bad I could feel my heart trying to escape my rib cage in intense thumps.

"Tell me you love me." I whispered as I bit my bottom lip nervously. "Please, Niall."

His face changed and he moved closer. I thought he'd kiss me again but instead, he got serious and I felt him grab my hands.

"I love you, Olivia. I'm in love with you. I never stopped, not one second. And I never will. Do you want me to repeat it every day? At which frequency? Every 6 hours? 4 hours? Two? I'll put a damn alarm on my phone to tell you in the middle of the night if I have to." he said in a soft tone. "I know it was different when we dated, but I will never let you believe that you are not perfect the way you are, that you are not everything I want and need, or that you are not loved. Never again. I swear, Olivia. I fucking love you."

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