#but I’ve never felt so empowered :)

[teyamsatan]

High Infidelity III (the end)

Adult!Neteyam x (f)Metkayina!Reader x Ao'nung

Warnings: smut (fingering, oral - m and f receiving, spitting in mouth, anal play, p in v, creampie, praise kink), mentions of cheating, cursing, violence, blood, 18+ minors dni for the love of god !!!!

Word count: 6k words

Notes: honestly i need to be doused in holy water after writing that, but i'd probably just burst into flames anyway. i hope you enjoy reading the last instalment of High Infidelity, and I hope it's everything you've ever wanted and more, cause omg, did I enjoy writing it besties. thank you for all the love of this series, I really felt it. i love you all sm xoxoxo

previous part (x)

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love

The slowest way is never loving them enough

Do you really want to know where I was April 29th?

Do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?

Neteyam’s face snapped in the direction of your voice, an unreadable expression marring his beautiful features. 

“What did you say?”

You were boldened and empowered by the ache running through you, by all the feelings that mingled into a cocktail that looked a lot like bravery, that looked a lot like you were going to finally give in to your biggest desires and wildest dreams. 

You moved closer to him, taking slow, purposeful steps, until you circled around him and kneeled in front of him, in between his legs, placing on hand on each knee to help you, and you couldn’t help the way your heart fluttered as you noticed the goosebumps on his skin where you touched him. 

You looked at him intently, wanting to show him that you meant it, that you were in this, that there was no doubt in your mind, no wavering in your resolve.

“Neteyam… I want you to fuck me. I’ve needed you, ached for you since the moment on the beach, since you apologised, since you were kind to me and showed me there’s more to life than men who take and take until there’s nothing left. That there’s more to love than what I’ve known all my life. That when it’s right, you’ll know it in your gut, you’ll know it in the way your whole body reacts like it’s been set on fire, or like it’s been set free. 

I should have called it off the second I knew I started having feelings for another. I was afraid, afraid of the consequences, afraid of breaking people’s hearts, afraid of broken expectations and unfulfilled bonds, but I am not anymore. I’m not afraid anymore, the only thing I am afraid of is living without knowing this feeling, living without knowing I’ve done everything in my power to give in to you.

You told me one day I’ll beg you to fuck me. So here I am. I am begging you to fuck me. To take me. To show me all the things I know only you can. The things I only want you to.” 

Neteyam’s expression turned wild and fervent, and you felt the growl he let out deep within you, deep in your core. His hand went to your jaw, that he brought closer to his face, so close, your eyes were struggling to focus on him, and the tint of green in his yellow eyes. You found yourself tracing each gleaming dot on his face, each stripe that marked his skin like a battle scar, his full lips that were parted, the deep breath that came out through them and into you, and you inhaled deeply, closing your eyes, allowing yourself to drown in the weight of his presence, in the weight of the feelings he brought out of you. 

“Fuck, you have no idea what you do to me. You have no idea what I’ll do to you. I told you you will beg me to fuck you, but baby girl, when I do it, I’ll do it until you’ll beg me to stop. Until I’ve made you come so many times, until you’re so drunk on my cock you can’t see straight anymore.” 

“But not tonight. I don’t know what happened in the time you went away, but we are doing this the right way this time. I won’t risk losing you again. You can sleep it off, sleep the drink off and the night off, sleep Aonung off, and tomorrow, if you’re ready and you’ll still want me, I’ll be here for you, and I’ll be yours forever.” 

You whined as he let your jaw go free and your mind twirled with images of his words come to life, burned in your imagination forever, gnawing at you to make them come true. 

“But I want you now. And I know you want me to, I can see it in your eyes. I’m here, I’m begging you, isn’t that what you wanted?” 

“That is what I wanted, just when you’re sober and not reeling from Aonung’s mistakes. Come, I’ll take you home.” 

You woke up dazed and confused, needing a long while before realising you were back in your marui, back to the comfort of your sleeping mat and loosely wrapped in thin covers. You slowly rose, quickly regretting it, as the motion made you dizzy and nauseous and want to reconsider every moment that made it so this was your current life. Flashes of last night and all the hurt it brought with it started appearing in front of your eyes, furthering your sullen mood and unhappy state. So much happened, so much that you would give anything to forget.

As the world settled a little around you, you noticed a little trinket on your mat, next to where you lay your head. It was a bracelet, you noted in shock. A beautiful, intricate bracelet, crafted with a technique and materials characteristic of the Omatikaya.

Neteyam…

You immediately removed the bracelet that was already on your arm and swapped it for the one you were holding tightly in your palm, and tried to not think what a perfect allegory this was, how this was the beginning of your new life. The beginning of new love. 

Your body loved the touch of the breeze as it caressed your skin, soft and tender, like a lover. It was necessary, like the air going in and out of your lungs, keeping you alive, allowing you to keep going. You tried your best to relax, tried your best to remove the anger and anguish for one man, need and ache for another, both of which felt like poison coursing through your veins, and tried to replace it with other, less intense emotions, like the relief of knowing, despite the hurt and the pain, that you could finally be free of Aonung, free for the first time in your life to make your own decisions, to live outside of the expectations and the burden placed on you since you were young, free to follow your heart, free to grow and be yourself, and to discover who that is to begin with. 

You felt entranced by the beauty of the nature surrounding you, that you grew up with, that you’ve experienced every day of your life and yet somehow never took for granted, never fully got used to it, as you allowed your feet to feel the soft grainy sand beneath them and the water splashing over your ankles and calves as you walked on the beach that felt like your safe space, like your haven in the storm. You thought about Neteyam and his words, about the bracelet he left on your pillow and how it felt against your arm where it now resided and it will continue to for as long as you could help it, how even this gift was a perfect metaphor of your past and present. Aonung’s bracelet was beautiful and opulent, with rare stones and shells, with what he thought you wanted, but in reality, it was harsh and it scratched at your skin every time it was on your body, leaving friction burns and scratches that left you bruised and bloodied if you weren’t careful. When you lost it, you didn’t realise it, you just felt freer and weightless. Neteyam’s bracelet was understated and carefully crafted, with soft leather and round, polished pebbles, and it felt like velvet touching your skin, it felt safe and healing. It felt like the calming nature around you, like the warmth of the sun caressing your skin. It felt like new beginnings.

As your mind wandered over the events of the past few weeks, and those of the past few years, you came to the conclusion that this, this whole mess, is not about Neteyam or Aonung. Not anymore. It might have started that way, it might have been what set everything in motion, but it wasn’t the whole picture. This wasn’t about two men. It was about you and your life, your past and your future, and who you wanted to be moving forward. It was about realising that the shackles that bound you to one destiny were loose and rusted, and with a little force, you could be free of them, free at last to be more than who your chains led you to believe. The dark feelings that possessed you made you aware that there was more to you than what you thought, than what everybody thought. The ache and need you felt for Neteyam showed you you were a woman now, a woman who wanted to learn and explore her sexuality and learn what makes her body tremble, what makes it convulse in pleasure. Kissing him and letting him explore your body allowed you to see you were capable of wrongdoings, you weren’t just a two-dimensional being with only positive and light coming out of you, but you had a darkness in you, you had the capability to be selfish and put your own needs first, something you have never done before. The anger that enveloped you when you heard Aonung cheating on you, the thirst for revenge and vindication, the way you told Neteyam that you wanted him, showed you that you were strong, that despite your and everybody else’s view that you were frail and weak, and not a warrior, there was something in you - a power, strong and unflinching, an infinite untapped potential that you swore you would get to know in time. 

You were so deep in your own thoughts, that the tug of your arm that spun you around almost knocked you to the ground, and you had to swallow the vomit that rose in your mouth at the harshness with which you were handled. 

“We need to talk.” 

As soon as the world stopped spinning around you, you were able to make out Aonung’s body and his face, sullen and tired, and you knew instantly he was battling a mean hangover, much worse than yours. You found yourself smirking at his state, hopeful that he was suffering and revelling in knowing he did. 

“I’ve been looking for you for fucking ages.”

“Well, you found me. What do you want?” 

Aonung’s eyes went wide at your words. He wasn’t used to you talking in such a way, determined, devoid of tears or quivering lips, of soft words and a trembling voice. 

“What do you mean what do I want? You fucked off with another man last night, with the tree hugger of all people, and you’re asking me what I want? I want you to explain to me what he was doing there, and why you chose to leave.” 

You were so shocked by the nonsense coming out of his mouth, so flabbergasted that the only thing you could think to do is laugh. A crazy, maniacal laugh that continued until there was no more breath in your lungs. 

“You know? I knew you were a selfish, self-involved, self-centered jerk for so long, and yet I was continuously blinded by my own desire to see the best in people, the best in you. I held a flicker of hope that the kid I knew was still there, somewhere deep down inside of your shallow soul, but I see now I was blind. You want to talk? Fine, let’s talk. How long have you been fucking another girl, Aonung?” 

You watched as Aonung’s mouth opened and then closed, and did so a few more times, while he was trying to come up with an excuse or an explanation, and you felt so free, so weightless, it was like you were floating. No more guilt, no more angst plaguing you, just a light, soft feeling, like a warm hug or sleeping on a cloud. 

“Was yesterday the first night? Was it a drunken mistake? Did causing me pain, almost forcing yourself on me turn you on so much that you just needed to do it desperately, that you couldn’t help yourself?”

Your questions were once again met with nothing, no sounds, not even a twitch of the ear or of a facial muscle, no hint that your words were even registering in his mind. 

“Come on, Aonung. You said you wanted to talk, let’s talk. Did an Akula get your tongue?” 

“Fine, if you don’t want to talk, how about I talk? We’re over, Aonung. So, so over. You want to know why Neteyam came to get me yesterday? Because he’s a better man than you will ever be. Because even on your best day, you aren’t even a fraction of him on his worst day. Because in a few weeks, he has managed to make me feel things you never have, because in just a few weeks, he showed me there’s more to me than what you led me to believe, more to love than what I grew up thinking. And you know what else? I let him do things to me you could only dream of. I let him touch me in ways you never will, let him pleasure me in ways you couldn’t if you tried. And it was amazing. And I will do it again and again, while you will live your life knowing you blew the best thing that ever happened to you.” 

Unsurprisingly, that seemed to wake him up from whatever trance he found himself in. The surprise clear on his face made way for panic, a quick brush of sadness that settled finally on anger, deep-seeded anger, manifested through flared nostrils and shallow breaths. 

“What did you say?” 

“You heard me. Good luck, Aonung. I hope one day you grow the fuck up, but it won’t be for me to help you through it. Not anymore.” 

“You’re such a fucking slut, aren’t you? You act all high and mighty with me, refusing me what’s mine, what was MY right, and you go give it up to some asshole you just met? I guess it’s true what they say, it’s the quiet girls. Always the quiet girls.” 

You tried to not let it affect you, his words, his horrible words that somehow manage to pierce through you like knifes, and kept your gaze steady on his face contorting in anger. 

“Leave, Aonung. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.” 

You turned around to follow you own advice, but found yourself again being yanked back like a rag doll by his much larger hands wrapping around your arms and pulling. 

“I’m not fucking done, you sl-“ 

The bone crunching noise that rang in your ear as Neteyam’s fist made contact with Aonung’s nose was weirdly satisfying, and you watched as the Metkayina man was knocked straight to the ground, blood pouring from his face and dripping down his chest. The impact was so powerful that his blood splattered over your face, painting you in red spilling drops. Whatever form of sympathy you felt for Aonung left your body the moment he called you a slut for doing something he was doing behind your back just a night ago, while not taking any accountability or exhibiting any ounce of remorse. You felt a sick satisfaction, watching him try to gather himself, hand on his nose, forehead scrunched up in pain and confusion.  Neteyam put his body in between you and Aonung, taking a few steps in his direction. 

“Leave. Now. If you ever, ever touch her again, if you ever look the wrong way at her again, the next thing I break is both your legs.” His voice was low and unflinching, calm and unperturbed by any emotion. He was scary. So scary, you felt that voice in every fibre of your being, and you assumed Aonung did, too. You watched as he got to his feet slowly, and a little wobbly, turned around and started walking away.

“I would tell your parents it was unfortunate, but it didn’t work out. That you felt like I wasn’t the right person for you and you felt bad stringing me along. That you fell in love with someone else. You choose, but I would hurry. Unless you want me to tell them what happened, but then you might not get to keep your family jewels, and I’m sure the girl you were fucking behind my back last night would be very disappointed about that. Good riddance, Aonung.” 

You couldn’t stop staring at Neteyam, at this man who drove you to the point of madness, who made you want to do things that Eywa herself would cower in shame at, whose back was tensed with each deep breath he took as he watched Aonung leave like a wounded animal, like the coward he was. The adrenaline was coursing through your veins, making you light up with excitement and need, making you pant with the aftershocks of the fight, with animalistic desire at how powerful and forceful, how brave and imposing he was. As Aonung disappeared from sight, and from your mind forever, you watched as he turned to face you, a desperate wild look haunting him. He approached you and you were able to take note of the blood on his face, that adorned him like war paint, and on his knuckles as his hands found their way to your face and hair. 

“Are you alright?” 

You just nodded, too overcome with his presence and all it invoked in you to be able to speak. 

“I’m sorry you had to see that. That you had to go through that.” 

You shook your hand and placed a hand on his, smiling softly. 

“It’s over. It’s finally over.” 

You couldn’t wait any longer, would not wait any longer, and you swiftly closed the gap between you and kissed him. Kissed him the way you have dreamt since the moment you saw him on the beach, kissed him like your life depended on it, like your sanity hung in the shaky balance between his touch and your body, like he was everything. The taste of blood on his lips did nothing to deter you, emboldening you instead, and he moaned in your mouth before deepening the kiss, lifting you in his arms effortlessly until your legs wrapped around him. He only broke the kiss to replace your mouth with your collarbones and chest, and you threw your head back as his touch brought fluttering in your stomach and throbbing in your core, that was calling for him, begging him to fill you. 

Neteyam knelt slowly with you still in his arms, handling you like you were no heavier than a child. His strength and physique never failed to amaze you, and right now, neither did the bulge that brushed against you as he guided you onto the ground. You propped yourself up onto your elbows and stared at it, at him, until he smirked and lifted your gaze onto his own by a touch of your cheek. 

“Like what you see, princess?” 

You gulped and nodded meekly. He took your hand in his and placed your palm on his hard erection, and you couldn’t help the way you started feeling him, tracing its curve and girth, or the soft moan that escaped you at its feel, at how tight the loincloth was stretched around it, at how big he felt, at how empty your brain was at the thought of it slamming into you over and over until you saw white.

 

He spoke lowly, teasingly, while reaching for your loincloth, that he loosened and removed without any effort. 

“Feel that, baby girl? It’s all for you.”

He pushed you on your back by placing a hand on your chest and used a little force to spread your legs, and you were puny in his hands, malleable to his touch, willing to be whatever it was he wanted you to be. He swallowed as he took you in, admiring you while his fingers trailed over your folds, reaching down south until they circled another little puckered hole, eliciting a small gasp from you at the prospect of what was coming. 

“All for you. All for this pretty pussy, and your tight little ass, for this fuckable mouth.” 

“So, so fuckable, I don’t even know what to start with.” He pushed two fingers in you without any warning and you dropped to the ground and arched your back almost on command, so excited to finally get some release, any release, like you have needed for so long. Soon enough, it became too little, and you found yourself needing more, much much more. 

The bucking of your hips was met with a mocking chuckle and words that made you whine in frustration.

“Not yet, baby. Not yet. You’re not ready for my cock yet. We need to get you ready, and you need to be a good girl and get me ready. Come on, on your knees, my love. Gonna fuck this pretty face, first… what do you think? Do you like that idea, pretty girl?” 

You moaned at his words, but did what you were told, rising on your knees, noticing dripping going down your leg as you did so, and came face to face with his hips as he rose in all his perplexing, over 9 foot glory. Being so close, so close with the bulge you were just caressing earlier, knowing faintly what was hiding underneath, made you almost vicious, and you found yourself reaching for his loincloth, untying it hurriedly, your urgency making Neteyam scoff lightly, patting the top of your head in a gentle and surprisingly loving motion.  

“So eager, my love. Eager to get stuffed with my cock, aren’t you?” 

As the loincloth fell to the floor, so did the rest of whatever pathetic inhibitions you had left, taking in his length, that was even bigger than what it felt like under the loincloth, so big in fact, you were genuinely concerned at how it was ever going to fit in your mouth, fit in you. Your wide eyes didn’t go unnoticed by the Omatikayan, who lifted your chin so you could meet his gaze, and whatever expression he was met with made a low growl emerge from his lips, and you felt yourself clench around nothing. 

You couldn’t wait any longer without his touch, without feeling him, so you tentatively grabbed his cock in your hand, struggling to make your fingers meet as you wrapped around his base, and you started stroking him up and down, all the while grinding on the ground, trying to get any relief from the enormous pressure building in your core. Primal curiosity took over you as you closed your lips around his tip, dying to feel the taste of the liquid spilling from it and you moaned around his cock as it was better than you could have ever foreseen. The sound and vibration made Neteyam push your head closer to his body, and you gagged slightly as his impressive length made its way down your throat. 

“That’s it, baby. Look how well you’re taking my cock. You’re doing so well, princess.”

Without any warning, he started a slow pace in and out of your mouth, holding your head in place with his hands, and fuck, you loved how he was using you as his own personal sex doll. It was so obscene, so filthy, so so good. He felt so good in your mouth, his sweet taste flooding your every sense, welcoming him further in, until your nose was touching his hip bone and his balls were slapping against your chin with every thrust. You wrapped your hands around his thighs, propping yourself to get a better angle, to be able to suck him off the way you wanted, the way you knew he wanted.

“Look how you’re dry humping the ground with my cock so deep in your mouth. You want to be fucked, don’t you, baby? Such a slut for my cock, aren’t you?” 

His unrelenting pace made tears appear in the corner of your eyes, spilling down your cheek, mixing with the saliva pooled around your mouth, that dripped all over his balls. 

“You’ve never looked prettier than when you’re getting your face fucked. So pretty, princess. Those fucking eyes looking up at me, all innocent, so wild, so - fuck, you will be the death of me.” 

“Gonna let me come in this pretty mouth, huh? Want to suck me dry, baby girl?” 

You mewled approvingly around his cock, hallowing your cheeks and pushing your tongue against him to drive him to his release sooner, wanting, needing to feel him, to own him, a piece of him, like he owned you, like he would - forever. 

“Ohh, fuuck - fuck, princess, just like that. It’s like you were born to suck my cock. Doing so well for me, baby.” 

Hot spurts of thick liquid came shooting down your throat and the deep guttural groans he released as the orgasm washed over him was almost enough to bring you to your own - you’ve never heard something more erotic, something more salacious, something better, in your life.  

“Good girl.” He slowly removed himself from you and pushed you back into the ground, towering over you, his still fully hard length slapping over your inner thigh haphazardly. “Do you feel what you do to me? Feel how hard I still am for you? I’ll never get enough of this body, princess. You will be dripping in my cum by the time I’m done, this is what being next you does to me.” 

His lips crashed against yours aggressively, and his tongue pushed past your teeth into your mouth, exploring you, tasting himself on your tongue. His cock twitched and brushed your dripping folds and you whimpered in his mouth. He smirked at the sound, and positioned himself alongside your core, started slowly grinding his length on you, teasing you, bringing new tears to your eyes and unintelligible sounds to his ears, that revelled in it, that thrived off of how much of a pitiful, writhing mess you were under him. 

“Please, Neteyam. Please, fuck, f-“ 

“You’re still not ready for me, princess.”

“I-I’m ready, please, I’m so fucking ready!” 

He tutted in disapproval and removed his body from yours, leaving you empty and aching. You tried closing your legs together, but that too was promptly interrupted by his hands, keeping them far apart. He started a torturous ritual of kissing and licking every part of your body he had access to, masterfully avoiding the only places you wanted, needed to be touched. He started with your collarbones, and down your sternum, alongside your abdomen, and hip bone, your thighs, and inner thighs, and you were crying, the pleasure so great, and yet so incomplete it was hurting you, it was turning into pain. 

“Neteyam, I - “

“Hush, baby. Let me take care of you. Let me show you why it couldn’t have been anyone else but me.”

With that, he placed a tender, barely there kiss on your bare pussy, then another one, and another one. His mouth closed around your clit, sucking on it softly, alternating between it and kitten licks, and the rough texture of his tongue made you see stars, made you convulse around his mouth. His tongue moved languidly, drawing numbers on your swollen pussy, pushing into you and lapping at the liquid falling down his chin. You tasted like heaven to him, like a ripened summer fruit, like a flower in spring, blossoming around him, inundating his smell, coating his tongue in its aroma. He loved seeing you like this, all of this, falling apart at the seams in pleasure, tears prodding at your eyes, lips parted and cheeks flushed, chest heaving up and down, hands in his hair, pushing his tongue deeper in your sopping cunt. He loved all of it. 

Two slender, long fingers made their way inside of you, feeling you, curling them to massage the perfect spot, the spot he found last time, the spot he knew would make you come undone, and he couldn’t help the arrogance in his tone as he talked. 

“Come for me, princess. Let me hear how good I make you feel.” 

Your orgasm flushed over you, the most intense feeling you have ever felt, and you now understood why he edged you for so long, and even in your dazed mind, you were grateful that he seemed to know your body better than you knew it yourself. 

He continued licking at your entrance, not wasting a drop of your cum, not when it was better than any liquor, better than any drink he’s ever been fortunate enough to taste. When he finished, he got back on top of you until you were face to face, and you noticed weakly the glistening on his chin as your juices coated it, and the smirk he had on those beautiful lips that was unrelenting. He knew he was amazing, he knew what he was doing to you. 

“See, baby? I know what you need. I’m what you need. Open your mouth.” You did so, no questions asked, and watched as he spit in your mouth, licking your lips in order not to miss anything, humming to yourself as the taste of your own cum registered on your tongue. 

“Feel how good you taste. So fucking good, princess.”

“I think you’ve suffered enough. I think it’s time you get what you deserve for being such a good girl. The best girl.” 

You felt his arm on your abdomen as he reached down and aligned himself with your folds, his bulbous tip rubbing against your warm, aching entrance. Slowly, gently, he starts sinking into you, allowing you to feel each inch, allowing you to take in the delicious stretch, and the feeling of you wrapping around him brought shivers down his spine. The mewls escaping your lips fuelled his hunger for your body, fuelled his need to push you until you were so overstimulated, you were blacking out with him still deep inside your cunt. 

“Eyes on me, baby girl. Look at how deep in you I am, I want you to watch me fuck you.” Neteyam’s cock twitched inside of you at your incredulous expression, at your wide eyes and fucked out face as your stomach deformed slightly, a bulge appearing every time he pushed deep into your cervix. It drives him to the point of insanity, that look, and he starts a maddening pace, quick and rough, rutting into you deeply, watching as your tits bounce with every thrust. 

Your mind is blank of any thoughts and full of immeasurable pleasure, unholy sounds escaping your lips like a prayer, like a litany to keep going, to not stop, because fuck, this is the best feeling of your life, being so owned, so free, so helpless, so in control of your own desires, so full, full to the brim with pleasure, with love, with his cock. You start to see stars, as the now familiar feeling draws closer, and your entire body starts shaking in preparation for the wave you knew was about to hit you any second. His thrusts are unrelenting, hitting your cervix mercilessly as your walls tighten around him, wanting to keep him, to never let him go.

“That’s it, baby. You’re clenching my cock so tightly, want to come all over me, princess? Want to cover my dick with that sweet cum?”

“Yes! Fuck, yes! Yes yes yes!” 

Your eyes roll in the back of your head as the orgasm drowns you in overwhelming, toe-curling sensations, and you start doubting you will ever see or hear properly ever again, as the world is enveloped in a white, over-exposed glow and your ears lose their ability to discern the waves and the birds flying above you. 

“We’re not done, my love.” You barely registered his manoeuvring your now limp body, turning you upside down, so that your chest was flush against the ground as his hands lifted your ass up, his cock once more prodding at your entrance, and you whine, crying as you are barely able to understand what is going on, much less able to appreciate the way he’s spreading your ass cheeks, massaging them slowly, purposefully, while he sinks back into your wet, sensitive, throbbing cunt. 

“Neteyam, I can’t anymore… ’s too much.”

“You can, baby. One more for me, come on. I promised you I’d fuck you til you can’t see straight anymore, and I don’t think we’re there yet.” 

“You say you can’t, but look how good this pussy’s taking me, look how it moulds around my cock, how you’re squeezing me. You’re so good for me, princess. I can’t believe I get to do this, can’t believe you’re mine.”

A slap on your ass makes you yelp in pain, waking you up like from a daydream. 

“I need to hear you say it, my love.”

“’m yours, Neteyam. Yours.” 

“That’s right, you’re mine. And I’m yours. You own me.” 

You can’t help the way you instinctively push back on Neteyam, can’t help the way, even in this fucked-out state, you’re still searching for more, you still need him deeper, need him to fuck you dumb, fuck you until you’re passed out on the sand. You match his animalistic thrusts the best you can, moaning loudly, wildly, as each of them takes the breath out of your lungs, as each of them fills you up to the brim, as each of them takes you closer to that third release. 

“M-more. I need more.”

“You filthy girl. Such a slut for me, aren’t you? My little slut, drunk on my cock.” 

You gasp as his thumb traces your asshole, then slowly removes it and brings his hand to your face, his other hand caressing your lower back. 

“Open your mouth, pretty girl.” You did as you were told, and he pushed two fingers inside your mouth and down you throat, and you sucked on them, allowing your tongue to trace in between them, coating them with your saliva. 

“Good girl.”

He moved his hand back to your ass again, and slowly pushes one finger in, ignoring the mewling sounds spilling past your lips. He started moving his finger in and out of you slowly, adding the other, all the while rutting into you like a rabid animal in heat, pushing you forward with each thrust, holding you tightly by your hips, leaving imprints on your sensitive skin that you knew would be bruised when this was all over. You loved it. 

The feeling of his cock burrowing deep inside your core and his fingers moving in an out of your ass slowly was too much, and you were bracing for the snapping of the coil that has been tightening inside of you, knowing that when it snapped, so will you, and your last remaining consciousness. 

“You gonna let me cum in this pussy? Want me to fill you up real nice, paint those pretty pink walls white?” 

You tried to answer, but only ugly whimpers came out, and by the sound of his melodic laugh, you knew he took that as a yes. 

“Come on, princess. Be a good girl and milk my cock dry.”

You didn’t need to be told twice, as the orgasm took everything out of you, and you would take everything out of him, as a result. He was right. When he was done, you were so drunk on his cock, you really couldn’t see anymore. And as he lowered his body on yours, resting his chest on your back and peppering small, gentle kisses on the back of your neck, whispering sweet nothings and telling you how good you did, you knew you were excited not be able to see straight every day, for the rest of your life. 

thank you again to everyone who likes, replies and reblogs and asked to be tagged, i love you all x

@jackiehollanderr @afro-hispwriter @sanranrin @universal-s1ut @neteyamforlife @arminsgfloll @avatar-on-top @neteyamsyawntu @farleyis @jjkclub @doulcha @adaiasafira @teyamsmate @ang-taylorsversion @junnniiieee07 @americanbeauty-americanpsycho @thatonegirlwiththebeanie367 @netemoon @shayligames-blog @hotmenwhoree @yan-ghost-yan @iikatsukii @rgbsona @moneyoverl0v3

#༊*·˚ andra's works #high infidelity #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar twow #atwow #avatar 2 #avatar masterlist #avatar writer #avatar writing #avatar fanfic #avatar smut #avatar angst #neteyam #neteyam fanfic #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully #neteyam x you #neteyam smut #neteyam angst #neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan #neteyam suli x reader #neteyam x metkayina!reader #neteyam x na'vi!reader

[urwifebabes]

A/N: I’m still doin requests, just wanted to make this at the moment

“THE DEVIL HIMSELF?”

relationship(s): ink demon x Joey drew!daughter

Warning(s): smut, stalking (abit)

drip. drip, drop. that’s all you could hear. over and over. why couldn’t you see? what’s going on? you finally opened your eyes to find yourself in a bed, but not your bed. where were you? you sat up and felt your head, god, you had a massive headache.

you thought over what could’ve possibly happened before you fell asleep and then you remembered. you had came back to your fathers abandoned workshop to visit bendy and the others. you had grown quite a lot but you believed they would still remember you. you were 10 when they last saw you.

you were now 21 , only 11 years? not too long you hope. you had gotten out the bed and began to creep out the door. you seen a black dog/wolf. Boris! you went over and hugged him. he looked at you and pulled you off softly. “ma’am? who are you?” you were shocked for a moment before you uttered the words that stopped Boris in his tracks.

“Y/N Drew.”

he hugged you tightly, sniffling. “Y/N, we missed you so much!!” you hugged him back and shook your head at his words, feeling little tears build at the corner of your eyes to. he quickly sat you at the table before he pulled out some type of soup, asking if you were hungry. you quickly shook your head, you didn’t wanna be rude but you already knew it was probably very very veryyyyy old. I mean they can drink it of course, but you’d probably get sick.

“so.. how’s Joey?” you shrugged “fine, he’s doing fine..” Boris looked at you. “why say it like that, hun?” you looked at him. “I guess.. I never quite got over how he left you guys..” he nodded, not saying anything more. you quickly got up, realizing something.

“Where’s Bendy?!.. where’s Alice?!”

he looked at you and sighed. “they are.. not who they used to be. they fell apart after everyone abandoned us.” “.. what happened?” “they turned demonic and empowered.. that’s why I’ve been hiding here.”

“oh.”

you had left the little hiding place with Boris and was now walking around the warehouse. you felt so bad watching the once shiny and glimmering walls now filled with thick ink. you looked around high and low, finding tapes of your fathers coworkers.

you ran across Alice’s territory and she stopped you, asking you to be her little ‘errand girl’. you denied but you didn’t have much of a choice. she began to give you instructions as you did it, no questions asked. you just.. you just wanted to know and see your friends again.

Alice had instructed you to the deepest darkest part of the warehouse to find the ‘devil himself’ so she could rule this place. by herself. you wondered who the devil was. you just knew it wasn’t your sweet innocent Bendy. that cute little devil. you walked through the thick ink, cringing at the feeling of the ink on your legs.

you had came to a door and this.. this thing came out the ink and tried to grab you. you screamed and ran while you heard it hurriedly following you. you ran and ran, more and more of those things were popping out of little things of ink of the ground. they ran you straight into the room where the ink demon sustained himself in. he wasn’t in there at the moment though.. not like you even knew that was his room. great.

you took a breath, not knowing where you had gotten yourself into. what room was this? who’s room was this? questions filled your head so quickly. it was to ‘inky’ for you to tell. you could see a bed though. atleast it looked comfortable.

you took a seat on the bed. you looked over yourself, noticed how you were almost completely covered in ink. you grimaced as you attempted to wipe it off your face. seems like those things were afraid to come in here. you rolled your eyes as you thought over you situation. you haven’t even found Bendy yet and Alice is still waiting on you to find the ‘Devil himself’ - the Ink Demon.

“fuck, one of those things scratched my leg!” you seethed before you got up and went out the room. you looked around and sighed with relief. no fucking monsters. you slowly walked to the infirmary. it took you awhile to get there since the gash on your leg was pretty bad. you finally got there and sat, putting a towel in your mouth as you grabbed the alcohol and bandages.

you wiped the tears off your cheek as you got off the infirmary bed, you headed back to the task at hand. finding the devil himself. you walked around the ink filled rooms with no sign of horns at all. you sighed as your got tired of walking. you found a halfway decent room and sat down. just then, you saw eyes watching you.

you quickly sat up as they began to move around. you followed the eyes, only to see it was one of those monsters, watching. you wondered why he didn’t attack? maybe he was ordered not to by Alice. you quickly followed the little monster and hid behind a wall as he walked right in front of a tall horrific .. demon. you couldn’t help but think that was the devil.

you sat there and watched as Bendy listened to the groans and grunts of the monster, seemingly understanding. you had moved your foot which made the ink slosh. the demon instantly looking up at you. your heart stopped. you guys locked eyes for a few moments(even though you couldn’t see his eyes) before you snapped out of it and began to run, scared. he was scarier than Alice!

you ran, the hard pitter patter, being heard through the murky ‘water’. you heard his minions following you rather then himself. pussy. you thought as you ran a corner, knocking straight into a rock hard chest. your heart stopped. you slowly looked up to see him, smiling over you.

you gulped as you backed up abit. “Bendyyy..! hi, buddy, remember me?” you asked as he looked at you - no, stared at you. he came close and his hand slowly landed on your face as his gruff voice came out. “Y/N?..” you quickly nodded. “yea, yes, bends, it’s me!”

before you guys could begin to talk, he was carrying you, bridal style. you came inside that room you were in earlier with that bed. ah, so this was his room. he dropped you on his bed, before he wanted no time, ripping off your clothes. your eyes widened as you covered yourself. “What are you doing?!”

he quickly shut you up though. his head inbetween your soft plush like thighs as he ate you out. his slimy black tongue trailing between your clit and your unused hole. he kissed your inner thighs before his mouth came right back to your dripping core, sucking your swollen bud. he deemed you wet enough after awhile.

he took his achy cock out. the tip gray, swollen, with a bit of pre-cum, already licking. you sat up abit as you seen it. it had to be atleast 11 inches! he took a look at you and seen your growing nerves as he stroked his lengthy cock. “shhh.. be a good girl and atleast try, okay?”

you reached between the two of you and stroked his cock a few times causing a growl to escape his lips. from him already slicking you up, he pushed inside, no problem… until he tried to thrust more inside. you held onto his arms, the ink beginning to drip down your hands. you took a sigh and Bendy chickled before he pushed himself deeper into your soaked hole. you let out a whimper as you looked up at him, desperately.

his cock was swallowed by your tight hole. he growled as he fucked into you like you were some rag doll he had found. his hard cock finally pushed all the way inside, you choked out a sob as your gummy walls stretched to accommodate him. you moaned out his name as he started moving faster, his tail rubbing your clit deliciously. making you squirm.

your pussy was quivering as you had squirted on his cock and chest about 3 times already while he hadn’t cum twice. he switched your position, flipping you on your stomach as he slid into you once more, making rough and passionate love to your hole. his hands came up to your tit and squeezed. loving the feeling of the flesh between his ungodly hands. you moaned loudly as he bit into your shoulder, cumming into your womb.

you took deep breaths as your vision began to blacken and you faintly saw Bendys shadow walking out the room after covering you. after that, you were out far too soon.

TAGS : @2faced-fairy @alyssalololol

#Spotify #bendy and the ink machine #bendy x reader #ink demon #ink #reader insert #reader x character #reader x crush #smut #alice angel #boris the wolf #bendy and boris in the inky mystery #batim #batim bendy #batim au #batim fanart #batim alice angel #batim x reader #i love them #i love him #bendy and the dark revival #bendy the dancing demon #bendy au #bendy fan art #bendy and boris the quest for the ink machine #bendy oc

[sticks-and-souls]

Anakin & Letting Go

I always found it to be a little skeptical that Anakin could become a force ghost after it took Yoda, Qui Gon, and Obi-Wan learning and training how to do it, and I always thought “really? Anakin? Finding that level of peace and letting go?” But after this episode, seeing the care and lesson that he imparts upon Ahsoka that he learned so painfully, I understand it from him so much better. Vader was so stuck in his complete self-hatred that he allowed nobody who had known him before as Anakin to reach him (most notably Obi-Wan and Ahsoka) because of the overwhelming extent of his shame. It took his son, who had never known him and yet who still stood before him and believed in him, loved him, sacrificed himself for him, to call Anakin back from the depths of Vader. And this Anakin, let everything go to save his son and to allow his son to save him.

And it felt so impactful to get to see this mature post-Vader Anakin reaching out to Ahsoka to teach her this very hard-earned lesson that he took the very hard road to get. Because she has Vader in her. She is everything Anakin taught her, and we saw the behaviors that led Anakin to becoming Vader—the fear of losing his most cherished relationships—reaching out of Anakin very early in the clone wars (and before) and the two of them are both very aware that he imparted those lessons on her. And then we've seen across this season—and overtly in her clone wars flashbacks—that she believes she is inextricable from these traits.

I’ve always loved Anakin as a fictional character, getting to see his earnestness, his flawedness, and his intensity (to borrow Huyang’s very accurate adjective), but this episode brought a level of humanity to him that has moved me so deeply. Life is HARD, loss gets forced on all of us no matter what, and the lessons that we learn through mistakes that we made can be extremely painful because acknowledging and taking responsibility for hurting people is actually really painful for humans (not owning up to our actions is the emotionally easier choice and George Lucas has stated time and again that the Dark Side is about taking the short-term easier choices). But it ultimately means that learning from your mistakes is an actual choice you have to MAKE. And this is the core of Anakin’s lesson. He is teaching Ahsoka that she has to choose which lessons he has taught her that she will live by, but more than that, that she is empowered to be able to choose. Yes, she has everything that he taught her—the good and the bad—but she is not condemned to live out all of the lessons. 

And the beauty of it isn't just the lesson, but that Anakin gets to be the one to teach it to her. The betrayal that she experienced in discovering his fall, the taintedness that she has been portraying that she feels about herself, gets specifically addressed because if he figured it out, then she definitely can too. If he is more than just Vader, then she is too. And THAT is what the "Is that what this is about?" line is actually about. It's so so important that we get to see pre-Vader, Vader, and post-Vader across her vision because the point is that yes, Vader is a part of him, and that brilliant shot of the two of them glaring Sith eyes across the blade at each other did it's job in conveying that Ahsoka is capable of that darkness too, but you are not only the darkness. You get to choose. ("You're more than [death and destruction] because I'm more than that"). And more to the point, you have to choose. Because if you don't specifically choose to fight the dark, then you're ultimately choosing to fall into it. "Fight or die."

So for Anakin to be able to reach out to her one more time, to be able to love her the way he, as Vader, had refused to the last time when they met on Malachor, and to open with “you’re never too old to learn”, because god if he didn’t learn that the hard way too. And to be able to pass on to Ahsoka how to actually let go because he himself had only just finally been able to learn it as well, feels so powerful and poignant.

And that look of pride and wistful sadness that he gives her at the end? That both she and Luke were able to learn so quickly what took him so long? And that maybe, he may have helped save her from the worst traits that he imbued upon her? That’s him having let go of his own shame. He feels grief, he feels guilt—we can see it on his face—but what has happened has happened and he has accepted that, and finally learned that letting go doesn't mean it didn't happen, it means it doesn't have to define your actions going forward.

And finally, it’s also him letting go of ahsoka. By teaching her that she will choose her destiny, he has to accept that he cannot control it either. And he has. “There’s hope for you yet.” 

So yeah, Anakin learned to let go, and getting to see him here, in this headspace of acceptance and peace, practicing and understanding what it means to be a Jedi, was so unexpectedly cathartic and revelatory for me as viewer. 

#listen this lesson IS HIS APOLOGY. he didn’t get it then but he gets it now so please ahsoka #here are the tools to break the cycle of fear and violence #i love you snips i love you snips i love you snips #i love anakin as a character but I never thought I would feel as proud of him as I do now #say what you will about filoni but to me this episode proved he actually gets the ethos at the core of star wars #I also finally feel like the show has earned the emotional sucker punch of an end credits score that kevin kiner gifted us with #ahsoka series #ahsoka meta #ahsoka show #ahsoka spoilers #anakin skywalker #snips and skyguy #ahsoka tano #darth vader #dave filoni #kevin kiner #my meta #ahsoka shadow warrior #man this was so much longer than i expected. let me tell you im a victim of parental abuse without telling you im a victim of parental abus #writing this out had me SOBBING y'all #ahsoka gets the reparation we all deserve

[perseabeth]

Listen, I can write 700 pages about my love for Perseus Jackson and it will not be enough.

Why Perseus Jackson son of Poseidon is considered one of the best well-written characters?

Well I can list millions of reasons but i’m gonna focus on what made ME attached to him

-he is an over-empowered character and we can’t even deny it. the boy literally caused volcanic eruptions and earthquakes at the age of 15

-HOWEVER, despite that, we never got to feel that he is exaggerating or trying to show off! He himself admits that 50% of these things happen by accident

-that man is HUMBLE with all capital letters. He never made the reader feel like shit because he always seems relatable.

-as a young adult, it’s absolutely beautiful to feel related to a powerful son of Poseidon

-that boy literally underestimated himself and gave credit to everyone around him. Saved Olympus? Nah i’ve done nothing that was Luke

-he is funny. and no not in a clown-character sort of funny. He is literally done with everyone around him

-the boy isn’t only humble but is willing to humble down everyone around him. Wdym a former Greek god appeared in my apartment? Get out I have no time for you

-he had done a lot of shit and made a lot of mistakes but never in my life I felt frustrated with him because my boy was clueless and trying his best

-that man is loyal af! If there’s one thing or two we can learn from that boy is loyalty

-let’s not forget that he is capable of putting everyone in their place even gods

-he isn’t one of those perfect characters who are trying to be all heroic and shit and that makes the reader feel closer to him bc same dude

-you know what? Just scratch everything. I just love Perseus Jackson so much and I don’t need to justify my love for him

#pjo #hoo #toa #heroes of olympus #poseidon #percyjackson #percyjacksonandtheolympians #percy jackson #perseus jackson #rick riordan

[tocomplainfriend]

Responding to your post about fiction affecting reality: very well-written post and that’s something I agree with wholeheartedly!

Full disclosure: I am a Vivz supporter and don’t really interact with the critique community because of negative past experience (hence the anon), but I really liked your post as it was well-researched and brought up a lot of points that I did agree on. Mostly that, as you evidenced, “it’s just fiction” isn’t a great argument for poorly portraying a serious concept when there can be tangible consequences for that portrayal. And you gave some really striking examples.

In terms of Hazbin, it is not that I believe that Val’s portrayal as an abuser (and consequently Angel’s as a victim) lacks any impact, but instead that it adds a positive one. This isn’t something I’ve researched so the evidence I have of this is personal experience, but as you said in your post that media can affect real life I felt inspired to add to that conversation with how it personally affected me.

So I was aware rationally that a common result of abuse/SA is hypersexuality, like I’d seen that on psychology blogs and such but never really understood it. I’m ashamed to say I thought it was a little weird and very rare. Hazbin was what finally challenged that notion with me. Being able to see how abuse looks and attribute those events to Angel’s actions step-by-step made something click in my head. I even remember that shortly after seeing that episode, I apologized to one of my friends (a survivor themselves) over some judgmental comments I’d recently made over hypersexuality. Said friend also watched Hazbin with me and it’s the reason they talk more openly to me now and we’re a lot closer. Val’s “stupid” behavior in the show and mentioned in Vivz’s comments did not lessen the impact that episode had on me, or make it unbelievable to me that Val could be manipulative. If anything I understand more now that abusers don’t always appear as psychopathic masterminds. And I know my friend finds comments like the Mean Girls one funny and they tell me it’s empowering to make fun of Val’s incompetence.

That’s not the only positive influence Hazbin’s had on me, but the most relevant to your post, I believe. It’s the reason I’m often a skeptic on most criticisms, because my lived experience tends to go against them. You said the negative impact of Val was that people are drawing fetish art of him, but the only time I ever see that art is within critic’s posts. It never shows up in my regular feed, so it looks to me like he’s equally as fetishized as every other character; the unfortunate inevitability of the internet. I can’t say I’ve seen anyone post about stories like mine about learning to understand survivors, but I have heard positive stories from survivors themselves in person and online which lead me to believe that the positive impact outweighs the negative.

Fiction has real impact, very true. But consider that might be a good thing in this case.

Thanks for being respectful!

TW: Rape, SA

I'm a victim of SA myself and that's why I wrote all of this post. If you got something positive out of this piece of media, that's great. Same with victims that saw potion and were okay with it- that valid as much as the people that didn't like it at all. I recommend watching many others shows yourself (or movies, books, whatever) will help you out with sorts of topics in bigger ways. I understand you feel like you got something good out if (and I'm glad) but I do need to say, this is minimal in comparison to other media you could consume regarding the topic!

I personally suffer with Hypersexuality, and the treatment in the show (and merch and otherwise) I found completely wrong. Even if you got to a good understatement of the topic, please put research into it (also outside Tumblr for that matter! There are better places to find stuff about!). Thank you also for admitting your faults over your treatment of hypersexuality and apologizing for it. Many people will never let themselves grasp this concept, so thank you.

If you took Valentino's comparison to Mean Girls or Powerpuff Girl as a way of making fun of him, that's you. I found it, personally, terrible. Specially cause many comments regarding that (that I put on the post) were people actively disregarding the topic at hand. Saying that Valentino is just a karen, or He is Bubbles coded, feels so out of the realm of everything (the last one didn't feel like making fun of him). I don't like the comparison of an active sexual predator to a mean high school girl or a kinder garden girl that's regarded as bubblely or dumb. Feel like you should reach into his actions over It feels diminishing to me and other people (who also complained about this themselves).

People should be extremely careful of what they portray about this topic in media. Other stuff written in Hazbin or Helluva Boss regarding R-pe jokes also is extremely disgusting to me. Never forget that if you think this portrayal is ok, one episode apart it's a gang r-pe jokes towards Sir Pen... and an r-pe joke towards Moxxie in Spring Brakers. Which I find extremely disrespectful to do and adds to r-pe culture as much as any other r-pe jokes (general or towards men) in media. Especially when they want to portray it in a serious way with Angel, where was that energy then? (Don't say Viv didn't write that, she liked a tweet about the Sir pen joke, and the spring braker is written by Viv and Brandon.)

Also, about manipulation:

The tweet right below says that "He isn't manipulating them" because he is too stupid to do so. Responding "The Vees are just meangirls" it's crazy to me.

About "You said the negative impact of Val was that people are drawing fetish art of him, but the only time I ever see that art is within critic’s posts. It never shows up in my regular feed"

Val has being fetishized by the crew itself! The person (who is not an SA/r-pe victim said by themselves, who has being open of shipping ValxAngel and being into r-pe porn) is the one that produce the whole poison part of the episode (also based on his previously non canon ValxAngel comic). You could also go throught the people Viv's responds and likes and it's mutuals with, and they also do the same thing as this crew-member (Raph). Congrats that it doesn't appear in your timeline, tho. If this art appears in a critic post, it is because it's being criticized or brought up to make a point.

[It's not on my blog yet, but I don't like receiving double ask in the inbox, specially of anons! Sorry. I don't know if it's the same person or not, and I don't want to end up receiving 5 asks in my inbox again.]

#vivziepop critical #hazbin hotel critical #vivziepop critique #helluva boss critical #helluva boss criticism #vivziepop criticism #hazbin hotel criticism #helluva boss critique

[rawjoy]

so often when people find out i work with small children their response is to let me know how much they hate kids or how exhausting it must be or how they could never stand it. and while it can be exhausting, i get so tired of hearing unprovoked about peoples bitterness towards kids for being kids. i love what i do. what an honor it is to be trusted with these wonderful little people who are learning how to live for the very first time. how joyful how RICH of an experience.

and i think that many peoples anger towards children and the state of childhood stems from unpacked jealousy which has now turned into resentment… you wish you could’ve screamed and cried when you were upset as a child and still been treated with love and a guiding hand instead of anger and raised voices. you even wish you could do that now. you wish you could’ve made mistakes and been met with understanding and compassion instead of vilification. i’ve been through it and understand. but for the sake of your own heart and for the world you need to grieve that. and its especially jarring seeing those who claim to be revolutionaries espouse this kind of hate. how do you expect anyone to raise the kind of empathetic, empowered, radically hopeful world builders you hope to see in the next generation when every other adult they meet harbors some sort of obvious contempt towards them for their existence (and they can tell).

maybe when a child asks you “dumb” or incessant questions, you could try to recognize that they are still learning all of the endless complexities of the world they are going to inherit. take them seriously. be warmed by the fact that they are are curious and looking to you for answers.

maybe when there is a child screaming or crying in public, be annoyed by the noise but try to remember that this may be, in fact, the very first time they have ever felt this emotion. give them grace where you can.

when a child runs by your table at a restaurant giggling and red-faced, with their exhausted parent chasing after them, be annoyed that they almost knocked over your drink or ruined the vibe of your dinner. but try to remember the last time you felt that sort of unfettered joy or whimsy. maybe you should seek it out more often.

i’m not at all saying that you have to love being around children or that you must have children or that you can’t be annoyed and overwhelmed by loud noises in planes or grocery stores. those are all valid ways to feel and there is much to be said about the ways that our own childhood trauma impacts us. but maybe we should interrogate why we feel the way we do about children and the way we interact with them, and consider if those approaches are conducive to creating the world we hope to live in one day.

#rant #sorry #you don’t have to read but ive been so frustrated lately so here

[strezzedanddeprezzed]

female socialization

      So, I was in the mall a few days ago window shopping and whatnot and I passed a Victoria’s Secret filled with young girls, like 8-13 years old. And I swear I’ve never felt that level of discomfort and uneasiness in my life. Seeing little girls holding up lingerie and thongs was incredibly jarring to me, even though my mother let me do the same thing at their age. What made it worse was that a group of boys the same age was across lined up to play mini-golf. 

      Anyways, I was talking with someone about it, and they simply said that’s a normal part of growing up for girls. But what’s the equivalent for boys? Why is sexualization an acceptable part of girlhood? Why do girls’ clothes start turning into crop tops and short shorts when they get into double digits (sometimes even before that), but boys’ clothes stay the same? 

      When women say makeup and sexy clothes are empowering and actually feminist, look at the world around us. 

#radfem #radfem please touch #radfem please interact #socialization

[justzawe]

Zawe Ashton on resilience, tackling complex roles and the fight for on-screen representation

The actress took to the stage at the 2023 Bazaar Summit

When Zawe Ashton looks back at her career so far, she’s a little surprised: not at her own success, but at how she’s managed to navigate a notoriously tough industry so well. “When I talk about what I’ve been through, I think, why have I kept going?” the actress and writer told the audience at the 2023 Bazaar At Work Summit, at which she was a headline speaker. “I wonder if, to even become an actor, there needs to be something inside you that is already a little bit fractured. I think there’s something within me that somehow knows this level of crazy. When it gets really hard is when I feel my strongest or most determined.”

Anyone who has watched and loved the cult favourite TV show Fresh Meat will be very thankful indeed that Ashton did keep going. Her character – the straight-talking, drug-taking, chain-smoking and anti-establishment Vod Nordstrom – was a highlight of Jesse Armstrong’s hit series. The popularity of the sitcom-style show (and particularly of Vod) made Ashton a household name and, to this day, it’s a role she’s proud of playing. “Vod was very left-field, free-thinking and probably, I would say, a queer character without that being made explicit,” she said. “Fresh Meat was 11 years ago now, but there’s still a whole new wave of people who come up to me – lots of young actresses, of every ethnicity – who say thank you to me for being smelly, unlikeable, strange and punky, because there aren’t a wealth of women who are doing that on screen.”

Ashton clearly feels passionate about portraying real women in her work. In 2019, she published a fictionalised memoir, Character Breakdown, the title of which refers to the couple of lines an actor will receive with a script, which describe who the character is – for women, these mini biographies are often laughably simplistic and purely aesthetic. “They go from one extreme to another,” Ashton sighed with disbelief. “Where do we draw the line? If you’re not seeing women’s humanity, if you’re not seeing a full human life when you’re thinking about the ways in which you’re putting these descriptions together, then you’re not valuing women. And that’s a much bigger conversation than my industry.”

Throughout her career, Ashton has fought to play complex roles and has always emphasised the importance of making multi-faceted women of every ethnicity visible on screen. When she took the role of Vod, “growing up as a young, biracial girl in Hackney,” she was “willing to do whatever it took to make that character as edgy and authentic as I felt she could be, so that it would invite anyone not seeing that kind of representation to feel really seen”. In 2022, Ashton scored a role in the period drama Mr Malcom’s List, which was a seminal moment for her – and one which she credits to the success of Bridgerton's diverse casting. “I had never seen any actor who looked like me invited to the table to perform [something like that],” she said. “I hadn’t known necessarily that I was hurting so much, until I saw that representation happen and the success of it take everyone by storm.”

Since then, Ashton has continued to push the envelope. This year, she played villain Dar-Benn – a role traditionally written as male – in The Marvels, opposite Brie Larson as Carol Danvers. “The process of learning stunts and fighting is probably one of the most empowering things I’ve done!” she laughed. “But when I thought the film was finished, I got pregnant and had my baby. And then they told me to come back and reshoot basically the whole movie. That has been the biggest journey for me: my physical wellness, my ability to endure, to mentally switch back into that place postpartum and come back to kick some ass again.” Perhaps unsurprisingly, a boundary-breaking superhero feels like Ashton’s best-suited role to date. (x)

#zawe ashton #harpers bazaar #2023 bazaar at work summit #interview #article

[sunpopz]

free falling pt.2

pairing: haechan x afab!reader word count: 7.6k contains: gamer au, smut, perv!hyuck, sub!hyuck, humiliation kink, degredation, solo masturbaiting (m), overstimulation, handjobs, hyuck is rlly wrong for what he does lmao summary: you and haechan finally meet in person, but the circumstances aren't very ideal. how long can he keep himself together?

A/N: this took me fucking FOREVER but finally i'm done T^T. sorry for the wait + please leave feedback preferably in reblog tags!!

link to part one

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annoying ass 🤎 🐻: please call me back annoying ass 🤎 🐻: im sorry annoying ass 🤎 🐻: please dont hate me

your heart hammered in your chest as you watched each message pop in, nervously chewing on your fingernail. the confidence left you the moment it was all over, and while you felt bad for leaving haechan completely in the dark, you weren’t sure where to go from here. 

everything you’d just done felt out of character, as if some alternate persona took over. it was sort of empowering, being this more confident and taunting version of yourself, and knowing that your little puppy crush on one of your best friends was reciprocated only confirmed that feeling. 

but it was all foreign and uneasy now, you sitting cross-legged on your bed staring at your phone while the room only seemed to feel bigger and bigger around you.

after some contemplation and a self pep-talk, you figured there was no way around directly addressing what got you here without forever being uncomfortable with each other. you just weren’t sure how to go about that, but it didn’t matter because you were picking up your phone before you could talk yourself out of it. 

haechan picked up immediately. “hi.”

“hey-”

“i’m so sorry, y/n,” he cut you off and his voice sounded even worse, like he was about to cry. “i don’t know what i was thinking. you deserve so much better. i’ve been so disrespectful.”

“i’m so sorry, y/n,” he cut you off and his voice sounded even worse, like he was about to cry. “i don’t know what i was thinking. you deserve so much better. i’ve been so disrespectful.”

woah.

you were, for lack of a better word, shocked at his formal apology considering how he would normally struggle just to admit defeat in any other context. you and jeno would genuinely fight him to get him to say he was wrong at times. “oh.”

“i understand if you don’t wanna be friends anymore,” he continued, clearly crying now. your stomach flipped. “i really fucked up.”

you didn’t even realize exactly how much this invasive habit of his had been eating at him until now, and you honestly wouldn’t have even played with him the way you did if you knew it would end up with him crying to you like this. this felt serious and strange, like something you only experience once, and it lit fire in your veins.

haechan was never open like this. he was open to listening and aggressively caring, sure, but the idea of him crying to you about anything wasn’t even a thought before today. the wet cracks in his voice were the most intriguing part, and you wished you’d facetimed instead just to see the tears drop from his eyes. loud, obnoxious lee haechan was actually putting his pride aside to let himself feel all the shame he had coming to him.. he had to feel really bad.

but if he felt so bad, why did he do it in the first place?

you felt the switch happen within you, as if triggered into slipping into the other “persona” by your friend’s crying, before you spoke again. “don’t cry, haechan.”

his shaky breaths halted immediately, listening carefully to whatever you were going to say. your tone was nurturing and forgiving, merciful, and he felt that he could cry again just from that alone. he sucked it up, though, curious about why on earth you’d forgive him.

there was some silence before you spoke. “what you’ve been doing is simply disgusting,” you started, pausing to hear if he’d make a comment about that. you were met with silence. “and technically, i shouldn’t trust you anymore.”

there was a ‘but’ in there somewhere, he was sure of it. your sentences were leading somewhere, but they were slow and calculated, and he felt the urge despite his self pity to rush you to finish. he once again sucked it up.

“you already knew that, though. and you did it anyways. that’s what perverts do.” you told him, and this time you could hear him suck in a shaky breath after your pause. you smiled to yourself, hiding it as if he were in the room. “so tell me, haechan. are you a pervert?”

his heart skipped a beat, panicking in search of a response to such a question. truthfully? yes. but did he think you wanted to remain friends with one? “uh. n-no? i mean-”

“no?,” you laughed incredulously, mocking him. wrong answer. “you mean to tell me you beat your junk to me like every day, so much so that you’re crying in shame about it, but you’re not a pervert?”

“no! i meant-”

“is that not entirely backwards to you?” you cut him off, igoring his desperate attempts at backtracking with your piercingly judgemental tone. you felt on fire. “it’s completely fine for you to do what you did? are you not apologizing for the very thing you’re now telling me is normal, socially acceptable behavior? you really are fucked up in the head.”

haechan’s mind swam in a lake of pure confusion, feeling as if he was being pulled back and forth. your actions told him one thing while your words said another, and then they’d switch and give off the complete opposite message. he felt lost like maybe he was just too stupid to understand you, unsure what your motives were. did you really think he was fucked up in the head or were you just saying that to tease him? if you wanted to tease him, was it to turn him on or to make fun of him?

“so you have nothing to say for yourself?”

it seemed so easy to piss you off. you were just about to forgive him, giving him a rope to grab just to snatch it back that quick. that’s what confused him.. it felt so fake yet so real at the same time, this territory entirely unfamiliar to the both of you. he didn’t know what it was like to really make you mad, to really disgust you, so he couldn’t tell what was genuine and what wasn’t. 

he just felt stupid. completely and utterly stupid, unable to tell what’s okay from what’s not. was his brain really so twisted that he’d end up trying to convince you that he did nothing wrong? he gave up. “i’m sorry. i am a pervert.”

the defeat in his voice thrilled you. it reminded you of the familiar triumph you got from that exact defeat in other contexts, whether that be during competetive video games or meaningless debates. you usually had to work for it, but now he willingly submitted to you due to the shame of his own actions. it was rewarding; felt like justice.

you hummed in agreement, light and appraising, like a teacher encouraging a student for getting a question right. haechan wanted to cry again. “and do you think it’s a good idea for me to stay close friends with a pervert?”

“...no.”

“then you’ll have to make it up to me somehow, right?”

“yeah?”

he was cooperating with your condescending words as if he were being scolded by a parent. you were once again thrilled, feeling the power you had over him as if it were tangible. 

you sighed as if reminded about how disappointing this was and he felt scared that he might’ve said the wrong thing again. after some silence, you cleared your throat. “so promise me you’ll never touch yourself to the thought or image of me ever again. can you do that?”

but that’s the thing, wasn’t it? he could apologize all he wanted to, teary eyed and desperate to keep you in his life, but would he stop?

was this instance enough to scare him out of his bad habit?

“yes,” he breathed, voice full of hope. whether the hope was for your forgiveness or his future self, you weren’t sure. “i promise.”

—

your relationship was never quite the same.

weeks went by and haechan still acted as if you knew all of his deepest secrets, doing nice things for you and agreeing with everything you said even when he disagreed in his head. he was still witty and loud around everyone else in your circle, but he behaved like a kicked puppy towards you. 

to anyone who payed close enough attention, it would seem like you were blackmailing him or something. it kind of hurt considering you literally weren’t, but he did it to himself. 

jeno noticed the change first, having been the third leg of your usually tight-nit trio. he didn’t say anything directly, but he would reference the sudden lack of chemistry between you at times. sometimes it was a joke and sometimes it just came up in conversation, but you felt bad regardless, even if you’d done nothing wrong. he just assumed it was something that would pass and stayed out of your ways.

you missed the person in your life that haechan used to be. his playful nature, his cocky tone, the bright smile that always reached his eyes.. that especially was something you rarely saw, and it was never because of you.

though, one thing that never changed were the good night texts.

you always texted each other good night even if you hadn’t talked that day, sometimes with emoji hearts or smiley faces. as miniscule as it was, it solidified that you two were in fact not on bad terms, and still wanted to keep in touch with each other.

it was also the reason you decided to play with him some more.

there was a gaming convention that had been coming up for quite some time; a decently sized event in a popular city where all the well-known streamers would meet up with both fans and each other. your circle of online friends had your own little community of watchers that only seemed to grow as each day passed, so you’d all been planning to go since it was announced, talking out the meetup and budget every few days.

the three of you were to meet your other friends - yena, jisung, and winter - at a huge airbnb that you all put money towards renting. the event would last three days while the house is rented out for a week, the extra days set aside to explore the city.

you could practically feel everyone’s excitement for the trip build up as the weeks went by, and as you finally entered the large house with a big suitcase in hand and a neck pillow hanging onto you for dear life, it never faultered. you were the second one to arrive (after jeno), barely even able to take in your environment before he jumped from the couch and engulfed you in a tight hug.

“jeno!” you heaved, the breath leaving you as his grip only got tighter. you hugged him back with just as much energy.

it was kind of surreal to see and feel him in person after only interacting with him through a screen for so long. his body was warm and firm against yours, muscles contracting as his arms tightened around you, and you let out a strangled noise while tapping his back to signal that he should release you. “dude, i love you but you’re gonna kill me.”

he let you go and stepped back, hands still tugging a bit on your forearms like he wanted to hug you again. “i’m sorry, this is just.” he gave you a once over, eyes sort of wide. “it’s just.. you’re real.”

a laugh rumbled from your chest as you nodded, agreeing with the sentiment that meeting jeno in person confirmed that he was in fact real. his smile grew as he stared at you some more, then shook his head as if in disbelief before letting your arms go. “i explored a little. the owner of the place left us these goodie bag things in the bedrooms, but there’s only four so you should grab one before anyone else gets here. come, i’ll show you.”

you had about thirty minutes alone with jeno before the others started piling in an hour or so between each other, loud and excited to finally meet in real life. it felt almost dream-like to hear their voices and see their familiar faces in your physical environment. the two-story house was lively with exclamations bouncing off the walls by the time it was dark.

the place was neat with a lot of space; not necessarily fancy but not cheap looking either. it was organized nicely with real wood floors and smooth clean furniture, board games and gaming consoles in their respective rooms to provide the guests with entertainment. none of you would’ve be needing those anytime soon, though, too focused on catching up on each other’s journey’s getting there.

haechan arrived way later than everyone else, walking in clumsily with a flimsy duffle bag and sweats, hair a fluffy mess and crocs on his feet. he’d clearly worn whatever would make him most comfortable on his plane ride without thinking of the part where he finally gets to meet his friends and take pictures. you thought he just had to be acting silly for attention though, considering he was texting the groupchat in sadness every time any of you sent a selfie with each other, complaining about his delayed planes.

it was no secret that attention was something he thrived (and honestly relied) on, but the way his face broke into that happy content smile when everyone shouted his name and ran to hug him definitely added evidence to that fact. 

your heartbeat quickened when you saw him, his laugh ringing in your ears. you had felt pretty tired because of all the activity and jet lag, but he was the one you anticipated seeing the most so all the drowsiness left you immediately. 

you realized too late that you were just staring at the group hug from a foot away rather than joining in, everyone already releasing haechan by the time you thought to move. it led to a much more intimate-feeling embrace as the rest of the bunch went to sit back down leaving just the two of you there, his expression towards you almost bashful. this greeting was a lot different from jeno’s, with your heart pulsing hard in your chest and your mind much more in tune with your senses. 

he smelled nice, warm and thick with how close you were. feeling the body heat of his form through his clothes grounded you a little and you remembered that this was haechan, someone you’d been wanting to meet so bad for the past year and a half. he was often the only person who could make you smile on shitty days and the only person who could never truly piss you off. just a few blunt words from him had given you breakthroughs before, and while most people saw some unpredictable and obnoxious guy, you saw genuine unconditional care and attention. you hugged him a little tighter.

haechan sighed sweetly at that and burried his face into your neck a bit. “hi.”

“hi,” you breathed back, his voice almost hushed like the simple hello was for your ears only. goosebumps rose on your skin, not used to anything about this, but especially hearing him that close. “was waiting for you all day.”

he moved away from you abruptly then, like he shouldn’t have been touching you for that long, and huffed a fake little laugh. his eyes avoided yours when you studied his face (which was even prettier in person, you noted) as he put his bag down against the wall with everyone else’s. ignoring the weird part of that interaction, you turned around to go back to your seat only to be met with both yena and winter staring you down in a mixture of curiosity and understanding. your heart dropped as you sat down, knowing you were about to get grilled.

your relationship with the two of them was definitely closer than your relationship with jeno and haechan in the emotional aspect. you guys bonded easier, and while the guys were more on the ‘i’m hanging out with you to have fun’ side, the girls were more like the ‘i’m hanging out with you ‘cause we just understand each other’ side. they were sweet but honest, the two of them making the most loving environment for you whenever you needed it. that also made them incredibly nosy, because now that you supposedly kept them updated with any substantial drama, they felt compelled to know anything you hadn’t told them yet.

you side eyed the girls sitting next to each other the moment you felt your phone buzz in your pocket, already knowing it was one of them in your groupchat. sure enough, they were already looking back at you with their phones in their hands and anticipation written on their faces. you rolled your eyes.

duckieee 🐤: ???  duckieee 🐤: did u guys fuck or sumthing?? <winter3: yena 😭 duckieee 🐤: im serious !! wtf was that he looked like he was about to jizz himself <winter3: well yeah but we already know he has a crush on them.. that was just like. a very weird energy like we definitely missed something

you bit your lip to hide the smile starting to break out on your face, unable to contain your excitement about the topic of you and haechan. you still felt like you were catching your breath after hugging him, and your eyes flicked over to him for a moment. he was talking to jeno and jisung, likely catching up when his own eyes met yours for a second and looked away just as fast, visibly stuttering in his thought process because you caught him staring. you went back to your phone.

you: wdym you know he has a crush on me? did he say something? <winter3: ? duckieee 🐤: itz obvious as fuck duckieee 🐤: but thats besides the point <winter3: ^^ you: 🖕 you: ok yes something did happen but i can’t say you: you guys need to drop it for his sake  duckieee 🐤: omg <winter3: woah <winter3: yk you’re gonna have to tell us eventually right? you: and i’ll be expecting compensation for doing so 💗 <winter3: 🖕🏻 duckieee 🐤: 🖕🏻🖕🏻

some time passed with the group of you just making conversation again, now with beers from an ordered case in your hands, taking in each other’s presence. it was probably the most content you felt in a while, the main event of this entire trip now crossed out in your book. sure, you guys came here for the convention, but meeting up was the part that was most anticipated.

there was a moment of comfortable silence after having talked for at least an hour and you took the time to put your hazy brain to use and observe everyone in the room. your eyes scanned the couches from left to right, seeing haechan next to the girls, jeno next to haechan, and jisung in between jeno and you. out of nowhere, you started giggling.

you got a mixed reaction of confusion and amusement, ignoring a comment from yena about you being a silly drunk while jeno spoke, curious to know what was going on in your head. “what’s so funny?”

you looked at everyone again, watching them watch you, eyes lingering on haechan for a second longer than they should’ve. they all seemed just as content as you, sitting relaxed and sleepy. you fought the urge to laugh again as you structured your next sentence in your brain. “you’re all hot as fuck.”

you laughed even harder as the words processed through everyone, surprise on their faces as none of them were expecting that response. they laughed with you a little too, also tipsy and now clearly even more confused, so you continued.

“it’s just like,” you started, sitting up in your seat so you could try your best to seem serious despite the dopey smile on your face. “you’re all gamers, some trash-,” you looked pointedly at jisung, who jokingly opened his mouth and put his hand on his chest in faux offense, earning giggles from everyone else, “-and you all use discord and twitch and all that, yet you’re all hot. it’s so rare; not even one of you are below 10. i’m saying this genuinely.”

“you can change that ‘you’ to a ‘we’, you know.” winter insisted, her eyes sincere and smile sweet. very typical of her, including you into your own compliment to make sure you weren’t left out. it wasn’t even that you thought you didn’t look good yourself, you just weren’t thinking about it. you thanked her regardless.

jeno nodded along to winter’s words and it made you feel a little bashful now that the attention was completely on you, but then he spoke and dragged it even more. “yeah. i mean this in the friendliest way possible, you’re even hotter in person.”

haechan was at a loss. from the moment he walked in and saw you, he felt like he was back in high school, nervous to even be sitting in the same room as his crush. he thought for a moment that he was going to be fine and easily able to keep himself together, but then hearing your quiet voice up close as your body pressed to his drove him haywire. now as he listened to jeno acknowledge how attractive you were without relunctance or actual feelings attached, he just didn’t understand it.

your presence in and of itself was magnetic, and he could barely focus on any of the conversations you all were having because he just couldn’t stop looking at you. there you were, the same person he had a history of getting off to at any and all times of the day, looking even more mouth-watering live and in action. sure, you were also a close friend who sweetly asked how his day was in the evenings and hyped him up in his most energetic moods, but there was currently a phenomenon occuring in his mind.

psychologically (and he didn’t know the exact science of how, but he knew it was there), he had trained himself to associate you with sex and lust, and he had been aroused all night. you weren’t even wearing anything but casual clothing, skinny jeans and a tank top under a halfway-zipped hoodie, but it didn’t matter. he’d seen you in this exact outfit before, but only through a screen, and now he could see even just the details of the cloth material, the textures of your face and lips, and the strands of hair on your head that didn’t stick with the rest. he wanted you so bad.

the feeling of his face in the warmth in your neck earlier replayed in his mind as well, but this was dangerous territory. he’d deny it ‘til the day he died out of fear, but he had been jerking off to you regularly once again despite his strong will not to when you confronted him. you were like a drug and he had relapsed, learning to either hold his desires off until a call ended or come up with an excuse to turn off both his mic and cam and just beat it out real quick, staring hard at your unknowing face. the latter happened very rarely due to how quickly you caught onto his “bathroom breaks”, but that wasn’t enough to convince himself that he wasn’t as bad, or truthfully worse, than he was before. 

to put it simply, he adapted, and as relunctant he was about it at first, he just indulged and indulged until he ultimately gave up on his dignity completely.

but again, this was dangerous territory. you were actually here and he was turned on beyond belief, but he couldn’t just get himself off here. there were too many people and he was likely going to be sharing a room, and he realized it was worse than he thought when he watched you excuse yourself to the bathroom with that usual polite smile, almost having to stop himself from following you just to see more of how your ass swayed while you walked.

yena had created a game, as previously discussed while planning the trip, where each person pulled a paper from a hat with room numbers written on them to decide where everyone would sleep. there were four rooms in total, three of them having two beds and one of them by the game room in the basement. realistically, no one would need that room, but it was nice to have the option for two people to end up sleeping alone. 

you were paired with winter, much to both haechan’s relief and dismay. while he knew there’d be relatively no positive outcome of the two of you sharing a room, but part of him just wanted to be in your presence for as long as possible. he ended up with the solo room downstairs, though, which was definitely the best option, and he grew excited knowing that he was now able to get off in peace.

you all grabbed your things and headed into your respective rooms, starting your night time routines. haechan was thrilled to see that his room had a bathroom right next to it, thanking every higher power that he didn’t have to walk up the stairs again if he had to pee in the middle of the night. he could still hear some muffled laughter and conversation from the floor above him as he settled himself, pulling out his facewash with a smile on his face, rushing to finish his routine so he could take care of his pulsing hard on.

as he entered the bathroom, though, it smelled very faintly of something sweet and fruity, which he recognized to be the strong scent of your clothing when he hugged you earlier. sure enough, the familiar navy blue hoodie you wore sat rolled up on the counter by the sink, and he realized you used the bathroom downstairs when you left just a half hour before this.

his dick reacted before he did, his body just automatically intruiged by anything that reminded him of you. and when he picked it up to place it elsewhere, he realized he had a big decision to make.

his thoughts screamed at him to rub himself off on it, mind already becoming void of common sense at the prospect of getting figuratively closer to you. he knew he should just go return it to you, or at the very least place it somewhere else, but he was nearing past the point of horny, that very familiar feeling of caving in starting to creep over him as he barely weighed his options.

he was placing his facewash down and raising the hoodie to his face before he thought to stop, sticking his nose into it and sniffing deeply for a long moment, groaning when he exhaled. he felt nearly dizzy, hand rubbing himself over his sweats to give himself some much needed relief.

the way your face lit up in conversation when it was something that interested you, leaning forward in your seat made his heart race. seeing the goosebumps and hairs on your arm as you walked past him, wafting your lightly sprayed perfume in his space made him want to grab and kiss you. he could reach out and touch you if he really wanted to, and he did really want to, but he had to relax.

in his mind, if he had just been like normal people and displayed his affection appropriately, the two of you could’ve been dating by now. he could’ve been your boyfriend, sitting right next to you on the couch, arm around you shoulder, kissing your cheek every now and then. you could’ve shared the bed downstairs, his hands roaming your body as you made out, groping your ass and rubbing your cunt over your underwear. you would’ve been all like ‘no.. haechan our friends will hear us’ and he’d say ‘let them hear. they’ll know none of them could ever have you like i can.’ 

he’d fuck you hard and rough, the cheap headboard hitting the wall and the bed creaking as you whimpered at every thrust, wet and loud, skin on skin. he’d watch you try to cover your mouth when he hit your g-spot with a mean laugh, slapping your hand away and forcefully grabbing your face just to come closer and spit, ‘are you stupid? i said let them hear.’

you’d be apologizing and whining his name in desperation, about to cum when he’d see his phone light up on the nightstand for what felt like the millionth time that night, looking over to unread messages of his friends upstairs begging the two of you to shut up. jeno specifically would be angry and exasperated, jealousy apparent even through this ext messages, and he would pick up the phone and take a selfie from a high angle that shows the both of you. you’d be fucked out and teary eyed, his cock deep inside of you and he would be winking and throwing a kissy face, then he’d send it to jeno.

best of all, though, you’d be apologizing for your irrational anger towards him after catching him over a month ago. you’d apologize for making him cry, for calling him a pervert, for making him promise something that you knew he was bound to break just to make yourself feel taller. he’d tell you that you should’ve been flattered by his behavior and you’d cum then, squeezing tightly around his cock as you screamed out his name.

haechan was completely out of his mind.

he knew it whole-heartedly, having placed the bunched up hoodie on the edge of the counter as he desperately humped his now naked cock onto it, eyebrows screwed tightly and sweats and underwear pooled at his feet. the fantasies in his head were all quite stupid, but it was so hot to him to imagine you wrapped around his finger the way he was wrapped around yours. and knowing that when it really came down to it, if he had to tell you about such fantasies, he’d be put in his place immediately. he could only dream. 

he was breathing hard, eyes shut and whimpering faintly with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth, lost in the feeling of fabric from your clothing on his skin, and so so close to coming when he heard someone clear their throat at the doorway.

fuck. why didn’t he close the door?

haechan jolted, a sharp gasp leaving him as he covered himself with your hoodie at the speed of light and turned just to be met with the sight of you at the doorway. your arms were crossed as you leaned against the doorframe, eyebrow lifted and amusement written on your face. haechan’s heart sank deep into his stomach.

here he was again, caught. this was worse than before, much worse, an actual violation. surely, he’d broken an actual law this time, and as his reality sunk in, he felt doom hit him.

“so.. you were just gonna leave a cum stain on my jacket? and thought that was a good idea?” you asked, deadpan but once again amused, and haechan didn’t know what to say. he felt frozen, just watching you react with ringing in his ears before he could even begin to figure out how to get out of this. 

you scoffed at his silence, staring down the stupid look on his face as you walked towards him. he probably didn’t realize it, but his chest was heaving, eyes wide and panicked as he looked down at your judging expression. you just stared at him for a moment, challenging him, then reached for your hoodie when he didn’t budge.

he held it tight to him, resisting against you trying to grab it. you snatched it then, attitude written on your face at his audacity, and he seemed to visbily cower, lowering his face now that his hard leaking cock was exposed.

you laughed, grabbing his face and forcing him to look back at you. his eyes met yours, shameful and a little scared, and you gave him a fake pout. your words came out soft and quiet, laced in disappointment, “you promised me.”

guilty, he sighed in defeat, the sound now familiar to you. “i’m sorry-”

“no the fuck you’re not,” you interrupted him, loud and amused at his apology. “don’t even try that shit with me. just look at yourself.. hard as a rock from my fucking jacket.”

you grabbed his arm and turned him to face the mirror, the reflection of a half naked haechan looking back at him. you moved behind him just as he looked away, too ashamed to see himself like this, and grabbed his dick, stroking slowly.

haechan squealed, eyes wide in shock before fluttering closed and breathing in both deeply and sharply, and you once again laughed. he was fucking into your hand immediately, a new and sort of heavy desperation firing in his veins at your foreign, yet craved touch. you watched him through the mirror, stroking a little faster and twisting your wrist as you hummed, his hands dropping to the counter to keep him balanced.

“easy there, boy.” you mocked, honestly kind of shocked at his instant reaction. after watching his hips stutter at your words, you came up with an idea. “i want you to listen to me very carefully. can you do that?”

he nodded hesitantly, eyebrows knitted in concentration as he chased his high. it was rising quicker than expected since he was already wound up, and he felt like he might die if he didn’t cum soon. you kissed the back of his neck before you spoke, earning a soft moan.

“honestly, haechan? i want you to fuck me so bad,” you admitted in a sweet longing sigh and he moaned again, louder. you couldn’t bite back your smile, using your free hand to tightly cover his parted mouth before you continued. “and i know you want that just as bad, if not more, so i want you to prove to me that you can. if you last this handjob, i’ll let you fuck me.”

he’d never make it past two minutes.

haechan was completely and utterly overwhelmed, lost in the way your smaller hand wrapped around his length. this was more than just seeing the person he had been losing all control over in person; this was your skin on his most sensitive area, your soft hand replacing his as you helped him get off to you. he felt the way your boobs brushed against his back, your breath at his neck, your hand clamped on his face. you were just hundreds of miles away and now you were all over him, your warmth and smell engulfing his senses as you gave him the pleasure he’d craved from you for so long.

you stroked him faster, ignoring his groan and leaning up to his ear in a whisper. “you’re seriously pathetic, you know? i gave you the opportunity to start over and you violate my clothing?”

your words were sharp and judging and haechan keened lewdly, getting deja vu. your breath tickled his ear, the faint smell of beer passing through his nose at your proximity. he felt like he was floating; completely in heaven with you all over him, piercing him with degrading words.

“you like that nasty shit, don’t you?” you asked, relentless with your pace on his cock. at his silence (or as silent as he could be with mindless whimpers leaving his throat), you removed the hand on his mouth to get an answer. instantly, he was heaving loudly as if he had just saved himself from drowning, irritating you as he once again just didn’t seem to think about anyone else in the house. “will you shut up? i asked you a question.”

after your words processed in his mind, he looked up at you through the mirror, eyes lidded and glossy and confusion written on his face. you rolled your eyes. clearly nothing you were saying was registering with him. “dumbass.”

maybe the words you spoke to him actually weren’t making sense in his mind at the moment, but he clearly understood something in your tone that told him you were degrading him, making him feel like his world revolved around you. 

your hand started squeezing tighter at the tip and he fell forward, his own hands gripping the counter for balance. a time bomb was ticking in his gut, having been sitting on the edge of an orgasm for what felt like hours now, and he knew he was done for. his thrusts became sloppy and his eyes shut, eyebrows twisting as his pleasure intensified. he was normally so much more talkative, or at least vocally responsive in bed, but you had caught him in an act and were actively putting him in his place, sending his head to the clouds. the thrilling part was that he knew this was only a fraction of what you could do to him had there not been a house full of people in the way.

everything felt surreal. he didn’t even realize the sounds he was making, high and desperate, or the fact that he was starting to shake. you continuously hummed and chuckled at him and it drove him insane, getting no sort of sympathy from you as he lost himself completely just from your hand. one noise he made in particular, a high and desperately pathetic whine, clearly caught your attention because you mocked it in the same tone, lifting the end a bit to make it sound like a question. he was going to lose his mind.

“stop, stop, stop, stop,” haechan begged, breathless and desperate for both an orgasm and something more, still fucking your hand despite his words. you could tell he was close before he even said anything, but you weren’t nearly done, so he was just going to have to figure something out on his own.

as he struggled to hold back, mouth agape with whiney breaths leaving him, a thought occured to you. “when i confronted you a while ago.. were you really crying because you didn’t want to lose me as a friend, or was it because you were scared you wouldn’t have me as a form of free porn anymore?”

he came then, hard and graciously, and you busted out laughing. he couldn’t even fully register what you had just asked him; he just heard the tone of your voice, condescending and merciless, and understood that you were acknowledging his vulnerable tears and invasive behavior at the same time. it was all too much, past the point of too much, and his orgasm nearly knocked him over with the force of it, leaning completely on the counter now as his legs tried to keep his body upright. your laugh was drowned out by static for a moment before reaching his ears again, now quiet and to yourself as you turned his body over so he was leaning on the counter entirely.

then the realization that you were still stroking him, just as fast as before, hit him like a truck.

he wailed openly, torso stiffening as he used his palms on the counter to subconsciously lift his body up and away from your hand, hips pushing into it regardless. you shushed him harshly. “don’t make me cover your mouth again. we’re in a house full of people. not that you care.”

“please,” he begged, voice barely coming out as he looked up and into your eyes fully for the first time, ignoring your words. his recently lidded eyes were now wider and you could actually see his dilated pupils, eyes already watery from the painful pleasure he was recieving.

“i asked you a question, haechan. a very important one,” you reminded him. his eyebrows furrowed, desperation laced in both his breathing and the way he looked at you from one eye to the other quickly, trying his best to explain his confusion without words. you lifted a brow.

he looked away then, eyes landing around the room as he tried his absolute best to remember what you asked him, brain full of absolutely nothing as your hand continued to work him with speed. you could physically see the seperation in his mind from his body, loud whimpers leaving his mouth and hips jerking both away and towards your hand as he tried to think. 

“are you too stupid to remember anything now?” you pressed. haechan moaned then, deep and too loud for your liking. irritation laced your words then, mocking him as you spoke slowly. “your name is haechan.. you’re twenty-one years old.. you’re a filthy pervert? a stalker with no self control.. ringing any bells?”

dumbly, he nodded, the slow speaking actually helping him despite it’s purpose. you smiled widely, wishing you could get this on camera. “yeah? that’s you, baby?”

the petname sent a hard rush through him from head to toe, slow and electrifying, and he didn’t even realize he came again until he came back to his senses. he was sitting on the closed toilet seat now, his pants back on and his eyes bleary as he took in his surroundings.

you weren’t anywhere to be seen.

shaking off the feeling of deja vu, he got up on shaky legs and grabbed the water bottle you must’ve left for him on the counter, not noticing how dry his mouth was until he saw it. he downed it quickly, the loud crinkling of the bottle echoing off the walls as he emptied it. 

once again, he was alone after your assistance, but it was different this time. he wasn’t confused or sad, nor did he want to reach out and apologize. he just knew now that this was the game you were going to play, and even if he didn’t like it or wished there was more to it, he had to be grateful for what he had of you. 

because realistically, he shouldn’t have had anything.

—

creeping through the hallway proved to be extremely unnecessary once you entered your room, because winter was wide awake.

you snorted when you saw her figure lying back on the bottom half of the bed, legs dangling off the edge with her phone held above her face. she was clearly into whatever she was watching, the screen’s brightness being the only light in the room. you made your way to your suitcase to find some pajamas. “why are you still up?”

“i could ask you the same thing,” she bit back, quick and playful. it would be a lie to say your heart didn’t sink a little at the possibility of her knowing what happened downstairs, and she took your silence as an answer. “if you guys are fucking, i don’t get why you just won’t say so-”

“we’re not!” you hissed in a whisper, hinting that she needed to keep her voice down when saying something like that. you were pulling your pj shorts up your legs when she gave you a highly suspicious look, that being the first time she turned her face away from her phone since you came in. you tried to give her a convincing look but a smile creeped on your face regardless, and you cursed your reflex of smiling when embarrassed. 

winter scoffed in amusement and turned back to her screen. “i hope you know i don’t believe you one bit, and you should feel lucky you didn’t room with yena because she’d be tearing you apart right now. however, i’m the nice one so i’ll just let you sleep and wait until the morning.”

bless her heart, you thought.

you were settling into the white bleach-smelling sheets of the bed, already feeling the long day catch up to you when you got a notification.

you were going to ignore it considering you’d left your phone on the floor on accident, but when you looked down, you saw the unmistakeable contact name with the brown heart and bear emoji. putting aside your laziness, you reached down and grabbed it, letting the screen unlock with face recognition so you could read the message.

annoying ass 🤎 🐻: goodnight

you felt giddy at the text, heart warming at the fact that he remembered. you mentally slapped yourself for not remembering first, especially after completely demolishing him not even an hour ago.

you knew this relationship was weird. what haechan was doing was weird, and your tolerance for it was weird. but regardless of already having two people curious about it, and possibly three with jeno’s confusion, nobody had to know, so it didn’t matter. you both had something to lose which made you both vulnerable to each other, and it was inevitable that this would only continue to become nastier and more eventful, but that only excited you. the two of you could be weird together.

typing quickly and with a sense of solidarity, you texted him back and shut your phone, ready to see what the next day might bring for the two of you.

you: goodnight <333

- -

TAGLIST: @paymal7 @bisexual-babygirl-mj @zzztaegizz @deepbookslibrariesquotesbear @tyongerine @hellooseulgi @liliansun @neonymphatbest @muiiq1 @scentedponykidpainter @pocketneos @lune1897 @jenocrush

A/N: thank you everyone for the nice words about the first part and showing interest in a part 2!! sorry for the delays and everything. also if some things like timing in the story didn't make any sense it's because i didn't plan that part out so i just wrote whatever pls ignore it lmaoo

#haechan #haechan smut #sub haechan #donghyuck #donghyuck smut #sub donghyuck #haechan imagine #nct smut #nct dream #nct dream smut #jeno #winter #yena #jisung #nct fics #nct imagines #oneshot #haechan oneshot #sub nct #sub nct smut

[i-eat-lip-gloss]

let me tell u

the most accepted i’ve ever felt, the most majestic and inspiring thing i’ve ever seen,

was on the first day of pride at school last year.

more than half the kids there were dressed in something pride. quite a few of them had flag capes, umbrella even saw a kid with a trans flag. there were so many kids and people dressed their queer-best for pride, rainbows, flags, and all. i have never felt so accepted in school or ever in my entire life. sure there were some kids who got kinda pissed at it, but they were really outnumbered so it didn’t matter. one kid said “it’s just June not dress up like fruit loops!” and i honestly burst out laughing. at lunch me and all my friends had little pencil flags (the pole is a pencil; made my umbrella) and Lint had a pretty well sized rainbow flag, and as a group of kids were walking past our table to go get hot lunch, one of them as walking leaned forward and said “eeewwww” but we all honestly laughed. it was pride month, we were being rlly represented, we were too strong to even care. that’s the beauty of pride month to me, it empowers us queers by being and feeling so accepted and represented we’re too strong (emotionally) to care abt what anyone else says

#dreamy talks #midnight talks with dreamy #dreamy's random thoughts #pride #lgbt pride #lgbtq #lgbtqia #queer #queer pride #pride month #dreamy telling a story #storytime #motivational #inspiring #<- idk i figured i’d add those 2 bc it’s inspiring to me at least #dreamy's school diary #school stories

[thaenad]

Hey. I love your work so much on your other blog (and have even sent anons there) but since this one is more feedism-related than fat lib related I figured I’d send it here, I hope that’s okay.

Do you have any recommendations for people with this kink who are so deeply ashamed by it that they haven’t been able to tell anyone about it their entire lives? I’m alloace and never had a partner partially because the only sense of sexuality I have is this kink and I have always felt like that makes it almost impossible to truly connect with a partner without knowing 100% they’re into it beforehand. And yet, I have so much social anxiety that I hardly meet people period and given the shame surrounding this kink I kind of assume anyone who I’d really click with would never tell me they were also interested in this and wanted me to feed them unless we’re already in a relationship. I can’t even be open and honest with friends about it because I’m terrified of their judgement especially because I AM so pro-fat lib and have been so vocally around them and I dunno. U saw all those anons u got lol.

I dunno I’ve just resigned myself to never having that kind of intimacy but it’s hard sometimes when I know deep down that it’s what I want. Do you have any recommendations for what I can do to start being more open and honest about my sexuality and hopefully feel a lot less ashamed? (For the record I am very sex-positive, for everyone but me if that makes sense. Lmao.)

Hey there anon, it's absolutely okay! I'd love to have more of these conversations with fellow feedists on this blog, especially since it's a much safer space for all of us.

Oof. I just wanna reach through the screen and give you a great big hug. I can completely relate to what you're going through right now (also as an alloace). I struggled with the exact same fears before coming out to anyone 5-ish years ago. It's so hard to feel like you have to hide or deny such a big part of who you are, and I hope you're doing okay. Just sending me this ask is a great step towards self acceptance, because connecting with other people who get it can help so much. If you need to talk, my inbox and dms are always open. ❤️

I will say the most monumental step for me was talking about it out loud with someone. Although the shame may cause paranoia, I promise that you can tell your best friend and they will still love you. Yes, the backlash from fat libbers on the internet is scary, but they don't know us, we're just a concept to them. The people who know you already know that you are not a predator. The people who know you know your intentions are good, they love you, and they want to support you. If they listen to you with compassion when you express yourself other times, they will listen with compassion when you talk about this.

The fact that you are passionate about fat liberation means you have already crossed the biggest obstacle when it comes to self acceptance for feedists: knowing that there is nothing wrong with fatness. Most people take their entire lives to discover that fact (or never do), and you are already there. And from what it sounds like, you are surrounding yourself with fat positive friends. That's huge. Take a minute to celebrate yourself for that.

If you decide to open up about being a feedist to anyone, be selective. Fat positive people are safer because they already understand the basics. They already know you're passionate about fat lib, being a feedist won't negate that, it will make sense. Most people actually have no idea what feedism is, so you might have the chance to explain it for the first time in a way that is positive, and that can be incredibly validating and empowering.

The person you share this with will know how hard it is for you. The first time I opened up to my best friend about it, I wept on her shoulder. Nothing changed between us except I felt seen and supported, and now she sends me posts with food and teases me about fat guys, and we laugh about it, like she would with any friend. It's made me feel so much more close to normal.

If that feels impossible right now, that's okay. Keep talking to feedists online, keep seeking community. I had to make friendships with feedists years before I could even imagine telling my own friends. The more normal you feel, the less scarier it gets.

It can be really, really hard. I ended up seeking therapy because I was struggling so much with shame. I knew I needed it, but for years I put it off because I didn't know if I could trust a therapist, I thought they might diagnose me with a sexual disorder and try to give me conversion therapy! Needless to say, that was the shame talking. Fear can cause our minds to heighten things out of proportion. It also took years of conversations out loud with a friend or two to finally be able to talk about it in a therapy setting. This shit takes time. After I discovered fat liberation, flung myself into the research and dissolved some of my own fatphobia (the BIGGEST step of all!) I ended up searching for a fat-positive, kink-conscious therapist, and guess what? They exist! They are 100% sex positive, understand the principle of bodily autonomy and that health does not determine a person's worth, and will remind you of those things over and over. I still see my therapist, they've always been in my corner cheering me on. They've helped me through the shame and fear, and they've helped me navigate my sexual & romantic relationships as a feedist. It's one of the best decisions I have ever made for myself.

Here's a post I made on how to find feedist-friendly therapists.

"I have always felt like that makes it almost impossible to truly connect with a partner without knowing 100% they’re into it beforehand."

I feel the exact same way. It was so isolating and horrifying before I realized that I don't have to date non-feedists. I know this is something that will likely take a LOT of healing first, but I want to share my experience just so that you can see what a potential future looks like. First I tried dating on feabie, got into my first relationship, but it ended very badly for me. Again, it took a long time, but eventually, once I knew my self worth, knew that there are lots of people out there who will be into what I'm into, and could spot red flags, I was able to disclose my preference for feedism on regular dating apps. I didn't care what strangers thought. Some people asked me what it was all about, politely expressed that it wasn't for them, and we parted ways. It is such a relief to have potential partners know I'm a feedist up front. I eventually met my current partner and the love of my life on Hinge. I had feedism in my profile and he sent me a message saying, "hey! I'm into that too." If a feedist relationship is something you feel like you can't live without, I want you to know that it's possible for you. If you tell people what you're looking for, they will come. You'd be so, so suprised. But it takes a while to get there. The fact that you want it for yourself is huge, and I am so proud of you for reaching out for support.

Take it from someone who lied awake every night in agony, crying and worrying and wishing I just had someone out there to tell me that it was going to be okay.

Please know this, dear heart:

It's going to be okay. ❤️

#feed the inbox #self acceptance #community #conversations #kink positive #feedism community #feedism kink

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

This image changed my life so I need more people to see it

I knew people with did before coming across this, and still I never in a million billion years would have guessed or imagined I might have it too.

I had figured out I’m autistic which explained a lot, but I was still constantly feeling broken and out of place in autistic spaces. I was still constantly feeling like I was having a way harder time than other late-diagnosed autistics.

Until I found this image and felt so attacked by almost every single symptom listed. I stared at it for hours. I stayed up for two days straight, just researching. I had to look up a lot of the included words and terms. But every time I did it was “oh my god that’s not normal? there’s a word for that??”

As a result I’ve been able to get help and accommodate things I didn’t even know were issues. Now that I understand that I’m plural, autistic accommodations work better. Adhd accommodations work better. Systems and routines in my life are easier to optimize. I’ve started learning who tf I am and for the first time. I started learning how to have values and goals and how to want things. I know that sounds weird but, well, did is in fact pretty weird.

Anyway this image isn’t mine and I’ve had it saved on my laptop for years so I’m not sure where it came from, but its one of the most empowering things thats ever happened to me tbh. thank you to whoever made it.

#late diagnosed autistic #audhd problems #audhd creature #neurodiversity #traumagenic #did osdd #complex trauma #cptsd healing #cptsd recovery #trauma recovery #personality disorders #borderline personality disorder #audhd #bpd #adhd autistic #csa survivor #childhood trauma #trauma survivor #complex post traumatic stress disorder #adverse childhood experiences #mental health rant #mental health diagnosis #mental health help #depression anxiety #trauma disorders #post traumatic stress disorder #actually traumatized #comorbidities #comorbid conditions #dissociative identity disorder

[celaenaeiln]

It’s so interesting to see how people get into comics. I’ll admit that when I first started comics it was because I was a DickBabs fangirl and I hated Starfire because I liked DickBabs and I tried to find everything DickBabs was in and was surprised that they didn’t really have as much history/canon content as people made it out to be (this was before the nightmare of Tom Taylor DickBabs and now having them being shoved in everything) but now that I’ve read more comics and expanded on a lot of Dick’s relationships I see DickBabs more as friends and don’t really like them anymore.

yes yes yes!! Anon, you get me!!

I think you've seen the panel too where Bruce tells Barbara about how Dick will leave the alien for her instead. That panel used to be my holy Dickbabs grail. Fanon was so into them too, always talking about perfect they were for each other.

But all the comics combined, their relationship paints a vastly different story of them.

I feel like the problem is their relationship is based on the stereotype 'smart nerd and dumb jock' but that trope falls apart when attached to them because Dick is brilliant and Barbara is athletic. It's a 2000s feminism version of an empowering woman in a relationship but that dynamic really should have fallen out of practice because the way it's written is kinda toxic.

Not even getting into Tom Taylor's atrocity of their relationship, Dick and Babs operate best when they're not together. Dick's greatest moments are when Barbara is not by his side and Barbara's coolest moments are when she's working with the Birds of Prey or when she's aged up. (Congresswoman Barbara was freaking amazing.)

Also they just don't have chemistry. Like nothing in their "I love you"'s has any romance and I never felt so removed from a canon relationship than when watching them. It's like a 10 year old holding two dolls and forcing them to smooch. Passionless and with false dialogue.

They're great friends though. She's most cool headed when she's not dating him and she's best for him when he's not dating her because he's free to act independently.

#anon thank you so much for sharing I'm so happy someone understands #also please no hate #i just really don't think they should be in a relationship because all the canon comic panels of them together are extremely unhealthy #and staccato #dick grayson #nightwing #barbara gordon #oracle #batgirl

[cwbuggo]

i’m a shy public bathroom user and i was talking with my lactose intolerant friend who is Not and she said “i shit loud so the other girls can piss quiet” and i’ve never felt so empowered

#buggo bumbles #personal

[dietmountaindreww]

fine dining.

warnings: suggestive talk, other than that nothing! - mentions of food. [Drew Starkey x Female reader.]

part 3 of a series in which Y/N is Drew’s co-star

Drew chuckles at Y/N’s response. “So Dinner and Wine.. Fine Dining if you ask me. There’s an Italian near mine i’ve been meaning to show you.” He smiles at her, “We can just walk in, booking a table might attract paparazzi.” Drew knows it’s the best option for them.

Drew holds the heavy door open to the restaurant on his street, “After you.” Y/N giggled as he playfully remarked , holding the door for her. He converses with the hostess, asking for a table for two.

Y/N and Drew are seated at a table in the corner of the establishment, which is a perfectly fine and private spot. “This is a good spot, we aren’t in the limelight.” He winked at Y/N, pulling out her chair for her politely before taking his own seat opposite her. Y/N

smiles and rests her hands on the menu softly on the wooden table before her, before asking Drew.

“What do you usually get from here?”

“They usually have amazing pasta, which i usually get with a wine. What about you what are you thinking?” Drew smiles at Y/N.

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

Greeting the host who comes over to the table, Drew orders their drinks and food before leaving. He looked at Y/N before leaning over so nobody can hear their conversation. “So how did you find today? Do you think it went okay? With the Interview.” He quietly asked, a big soft golden retriever smile plastered across his gorgeous face. Y/N smiles back softly, “I think it went great. From the hears of that reporter i’m sure the Outer Banks fans are loving it.” She finishes with a soft laugh, her strong scent of cherry lipgloss travelling, empowering Drew’s focus on her. Drew listened attentively as she talked, she just always managed to know how to make him feel so comfortable, her laugh a delightful blessing to him. “I’m sure you’ll get lots of support, you definitely deserve it Y/N.”

Y/N felt flattered, blushing before leaning back slightly. She couldn’t really handle being that close to Drew without getting flustered. Good friends. She quickly changes topic. “Nice shirt by the way.” Nodding at his tight fitting tee, but really just checking out his muscular structure and arms. Drew looked down at his shirt and smiled, loving how flustered Y/N looked. “It’s just a simple shirt but thanks Y/N.” He is so proud of how weak he made her, proud of his body and her reaction, before smirking slightly. “Do you like the way i dress?” Coating the realistic meaning behind those words, Y/N was caught off guard immediately. Hoping their drinks would arrive soon so they could drop the whole checking Drew out moment. “Uh.. yeah, yeah you have good- good style.” Drew smiles now. “Thanks, that’s a golden compliment from a stylish woman such as yourself.” He hopes this compliment distracts her, worried he said something he shouldn’t have. He didn’t want to offend her or ruin anything about their little evening by being helplessly flirtatious.

Y/N nodded and thanked Drew before their wine finally came to the table. Drew is slightly nervous as he remembers the last time the two of them had wine they ended up hooking up. He feels his heart racing and speaks to calm his nerves. “So, how have you been? Sorry if i haven’t had much of a chance to speak to you. I’ve had a packed dining schedule recently, then this interview of course.”

Y/N understands and nods, taking a sip of her wine. “I’ve been just fine, how about you though? Not overworking yourself are you?”

Drew leans in, “well you know i like overworking myself.” He commented with a wink, “But seriously, I need some rest. It’s like I never stop working but i just love it so much.. i’ll probably take a break pretty soon.. then i could see you more often.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. Did he really want that? “Sure.. we can hang out.” Mentally reminding herself he was just being kind, and being a good friend.. Taking a long sip of wine as their food is placed before them and they both thank the staff. Drew hopefully smiled.. trying not to seem to excited. “That sounds great. We can get to know each-other more and i even take you up to the beach to teach you how to surf.. if you didn’t know already.” He hopes Y/N would like that, he loved the ocean and hoped it would be exciting if she accepted the surfing date he had in mind. “You surf?” She smiled widely, mentally noting. No wonder he’s so muscular. Taking another bite into their meals. Drew playfully replied “Yup, you don’t? I love it.. it’s super easy once you get the hang of it.. we can have a beach trip or something.” He nervously suggested, still leaning close to her so their conversation was between them. Once Y/N had finished her current portion she softly smiled as she sipped her wine. “That sounds great Drew.. I’d love to.” Drew had a large smile on his face, excitement clear in his tone. “When will you want to go surfing?” He asked, wondering when they could book it in and what date because he really is looking forward to it now they’re talking about it. “Oh, well I’m free this weekend?” Y/N spoke as she neatly placed her cutlery down. “My agent’s on vacation so i don’t really have anything booked.”

The two finish their meal, arranging to meet on Saturday, as the waitress brings the bill soon after clearing their plates. “Shall we go then?” Drew suggested as he pulled out his Waller and counted a few notes to be able to pay the bill. After placing the money on the table he looked at Y/N with a smile, before she protested. “Oh, Drew i can split the bill.” She grabbed her bag from the floor mentally cursing herself for not offering earlier, she was so zoned out in thought she hadn’t even noticed, how shitty of her. “No, I’m paying for it.” Drew smiled kindly, he didn’t mind paying for the bill and he always liked paying for dates, Y/N knows how much he will go out of his way to make the people he loves feel special, he feels kind of bad now and thinks maybe he isn’t making her feel special or doing enough for her, he’ll pay no matter what. “Are you sure? I have money.?” She slightly hesitated, unsure if it was fair. Plus, they were just friends right? “Course.” He gave her a kind gaze, hopping she noticed, wanting her to feel well treated just as if she were a princess, which she was in his eyes . “I should pay for it, don’t even worry about it doll.”

As they leave the restaurant, Y/N tries her best to not let his charming ways get to her so personally as he held the door. “That was nice, it’s really cosy in there.” Dew smiled, it warmed his heart to see her so happy. “I know right? I fucking love this place, I’ll call you a cab to your place.” Y/N smiled. “I can book myself a cab, no worries. But thank you.” She found his thoughtful nature so attractive, whoever ever ended up dating Drew would be a lucky woman. Although she loved being his friend and loved their beneficial occasional, she often wished it was more. But she couldn’t allow herself to think like that, she pulled out her phone to book a cab.

Drew feels content right now, his effect on Y/N was evident as her smile radiated happiness and he was so glad. “Of course, I’m always happy to offer to take care of you.” Y/N felt her cheeks glow pink. “Says it’ll be here any second.. so Saturday right? Beach dat- day.” Correcting herself before she got ahead of her own thoughts. “Yeah Saturday will be great, looking forward to teaching you.. I’ll pick you up around 10?” Y/N agreed before rushing to her taxi door as Drew stood beautifully with his hands in pocket and watched.

#dad! drew #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey smut #drew x y/n #rafe obx #drew starkey x reader #drew imagine #drew fluff #rafe imagine #rafe x reader #foryou

[no-see-um-incorrect]

 William/Marie (just a little taste cause I love y’all)



Her lip is bleeding from the hit. He knelt beside  her, addressing her wounds.

“The taste must change when you turn into a vamp because….blood don’t taste all that good.. kinda just taste like I’m licking a penny” she says, spitting some of the blood from her mouth into a napkin 

“the taste doesn’t change… the way we taste it does….. for example, human blood doesn’t taste much of anything, empowered blood has a similar taste to liquor or a fermented beverage of sort”

He finished healing the small cut on her cheek 

“what does shifter blood taste like?”

He looks at her for a moment calculating his thoughts before speaking 

“I have not a clue.….I have never drank from a shifter nor has anyone I converse with regularly… and as for blood bags, it is not the easiest type to find..”

“.…….well, I am a shifter……and I’ve got a busted up lip in need of a different kind of healing….what do you say you come get a taste?~”

He slowly nods his head. As he comes up closer to her face, she grabs his tie and pull him into the kiss. 

The kiss was slow and sweet. In that moment the world was empty, and it felt like just them. 

They pull apart, and the man looks at her with a Lovesick gaze.

“so…..what’s the verdict?” She says, with a admittedly devious smile 

“like cherry wine….delicious…but I fear that if I have too much, I may not be able to stop myself~”

Hope you guys enjoyed my helpless romantic bullshit. I just love writing sappy lovesick things. And I love writing these two.  so it’s a double win.  this is to tide y’all over until the two big fics I’m working on with these two. 

#william/marie #redacted marie greer #redacted marie #what can I say Greers just leave them drooling #redacted william solaire #redacted william #Willy I’m jealous #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted fic