#kink positive

[fucktoyfelix]

Choking Safety

I've been seeing some kind of scare-mongering type posts going around about choking during sex, so I wanted to address how to approach choking in a safe way. Choking is not a 0 risk activity, but it is also not so dangerous that you will just randomly die either. Anyone who does martial arts will confirm that thousands of teenagers are being successfully trained to choke each other safely (for self defense) every day! There's no reason you can't learn to do it too.

First you should be familiar with some basic anatomy of the neck and throat:

The carotid veins on both sides of the neck and the trachea/windpipe in the center are the most important things to be aware of. If you want to enjoy the psychological element of having someone's hands around your neck with relatively little risk, you can do "choking" play that avoids putting any pressure on those arteries or the trachea. As with all choking play, safety is highest when both parties are fully sober. I'm not actually sure if there are people out there who are into having the windpipe or trachea blocked. This tends to hurt like fuck and cause an autonomic choking response. You'll know if you went too far center because generally the bottom will be like "WTH". I don't know if there is a way to do this play safely or not as I don't have experience with it. It probably carries some risk of the trachea collapsing which would be a hospital trip for sure. Most choking play is done with the intention of cutting off the blood supply to the brain by applying pressure to both the left and right carotid arteries. This type of choking is not really "breath play" because of the way it works (though many people refer to it that way.) This creates a pleasant light headed feeling, but is also where the higher risk comes in. It often doesn't take long for a person to lose consciousness once these arteries are blocked, often less than 10 seconds. Sometimes getting completely choked out is the goal, sometimes not. Either way, the top has to pay very very careful attention to every aspect of their bottom's body language. Once you realize that a person has lost consciousness, the choking must stop immediately. Because of this: the most dangerous way to do this kind of play is alone. (hence all the auto-erotic asphyxiation deaths you hear about) It goes without saying that intoxication also dramatically increases the risks. It's not recommended to lose consciousness this way on a regular basis. It's just not good for your brain to repeatedly go through, especially in rapid succession. Generally, the more time spaced out between this type of play: the better. Though some people may have medical conditions that make the risk higher, as long as you stop choking when you reach the desired headspace, this play is approachable. Anyone who's REALLY into the idea but feels unsure or scared, I highly recommend taking a few martial arts classes. MMA guys do this to each other all the time! For sports! The key is just stopping at the right time. There are two main ways to go about blocking the carotid arteries. The main one used in martial arts and self defense is the rear naked choke.

This type of choke is incredible effective at choking someone out quickly and easily. The forearm and the bicep are squeezing each artery until the desired effect is achieved. The risk here is how quickly it works in combination with not being able to have a visual on your bottom's facial response. When someone loses consciousness they will go limp and begin twitching somewhat. This is normal, and you should stop immediately if you notice those signs. The more common method of choking play during sex is what looks more like typical choking. Facing your partner, using both hands.

You want to find the arteries with both hands, and use the meat at the base of your thumbs to apply gradually increasing pressure upwards towards your partner's head. You can keep the thumbs tucked to avoid accidental pressure on the windpipe. (Though this is not required so long as you remember not to apply pressure to the windpipe.) This type of play has a few safety benefits. First, you can see your partner's face so it's more obvious when you can see they've hit a headspace that is desirable. Additionally, it's just a little more difficult to find the arteries and push up on them correctly. If your goal is to get a little light headed without losing consciousness, this is more easily accomplished with this type of choke. However, losing consciousness is still a risk and both partners being fully alert will ensure the lowest risk environment. I know choking play is incredibly popular, even 'vanilla' people participate in this type of play on a regular basis without really knowing the technical details. Most of them don't get seriously hurt...but knowing what you're actually doing with risky play is a base component of risk aware consensual kink. Anyway I hope people find this helpful! Happy choking!!

#choking #kink positive #sex positive

[hussyknee]

Shout-out to the brazen AO3 smut crankers posting the nastiest, most unholy filth I can only save in private bookmarks. Y'all's cojones are solid brass. The international sexual deviant community thanks you for your service

#the freak shall inherit the earth #ao3 #ao3 authors #ao3 writers #fanfic #fanfic appreciation #fanfiction appreciation #writer appreciation #proshipping #fandom positivity #sex positive #kink positive #knee of huss

[fixing-bad-posts]

everybody wants to see kink at a pride parade

#fixingbadposts #fixing-bad-posts #blackout poetry #kink at pride #queer #kink positivity #kink positive #kink is queer

[xx-slug-xx]

“Your fantasies equal your real life desires”

I’m fucking asexual? I have no desire to do anything I fantasize about irl. Same with a shit ton of other people who are aspec?

Tbh, I think it’s just queerphobic, specifically aphobic but other shit too, to say “your fantasies are what you want irl.

It’s not just aspecs either. I know a fuck ton of lesbians who fantasize about fictional men. They are not any less lesbians because of their fantasies though.

I could go on with more about how it’s a stupid argument, and even how it’s ableist in certain contexts, but I’ll save that for other posts lmao

#aspec #proship #profic #anti anti #profiction #anti censorship #anti harassment #fandom discourse #kink positive #pro kink #ace discourse

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

Credit: insta @/acedadadvice

[there was no image description on Instagram or Facebook, I would welcome if someone wrote one into a reblog]

Obviously these terms aren’t set in stone, these definitions aren’t gospel, use whatever definition/ term you are most comfortable with!

I’m sharing this because I went “oh hey, it me!” when I saw this.

I have made it a point to call myself averse to sex consistently and I will keep using sex-aversion to describe my views. It’s nice to see this info-graphic mention aegosexuality in context of that :)

Because yea, I’m a sex-averse aego-ace

EDIT FOR CLARIFICATION: Aegosexual as a sub- / micro-label for asexuality is not inherently connected to being sex-averse. The mention of aegosexuality in this context refers to an aego-ace being comfortable with the fantasy/ idea/ imagination of sex without necessarily wanting to participate in those sexual acts. Many aegosexuals use the label because we prefer sexual fantasies and things we can remove ourselves from (aego literally meaning “without self”). Not all aego-aces are sex-averse. Which is precisely why I said “mentioned in the context of that” since aegosexuality is not inherent to being sex-averse and sex-aversion is not inherent to aegosexuality.

Also, please keep in mind this is about personal feelings towards sex and towards participating in sex. Most asexuals are sex-positive which means we support that everyone has the right to have as much or as little sex, as vanilla or as kinky, as they want to have.

Sex is not shameful, sex is simply something people can do with their bodies. Sex is exactly as meaningful/ intimate as the people participating want it to be. A bodily activity or the most intimate act to share with your chosen partner – it’s as important as you make it out to be, nothing more, nothing less.

#about me #about the mod #sex averse #sex repulsion #sex repulsed #sex aversion #sex positive asexual #sex positivity #sex positive #we are kink positive here sir #kink mention #kink positive #kink ment #acedadadvice #aegosexual #id in alt text #id included #image described #image description in alt

[catgirl-catboy]

"Murder is okay to glorify because nobody is getting off on it."

You sweet summer child. Everything is somebodies kink, write that down. I've met many people that enjoy gore and murder in a sexual way (and most of them were lovely people, but not relevant)

and I think its very telling that the worst thing you can fathom is somebody getting off to shit you hate, and not, you know, a real person being hurt.

#fandomless post #idk how to tag this #proship #anti anti #pro ship #proshipper #pro fiction #profic #profiction #proshipping #pro kink #kink positive #shipcourse

[fucktoyfelix]

#sex positive #kink positive

[starrycollaredboy]

Btw if u have ocd and u have weird taboo kinks im here to reasure you that ur intrusive thoughts abt doing things because of those kinks do not make u a bad person and do not mean that you "secretly want to act on them".

You are not going to hurt anyone.

#ocd #kink positive #nsft

[thefollow-spot]

Kink at pride!

#memes that would make JRR Tolkien roll in his grave #kink at pride #queer pride #kink positive #pride month #pride flag #pro kink #queer history #queer community #queer #lord of the rings #two towers

[cosmileech]

there is a huge debate on Twitter where someone suddenly started caring about sexualizing religious figures (nuns in this case) and that not even trauma is an excuse to do this

and you guessed it, the post gathered a ton of likes, puriteens agreeing that it’s bad, radfems agreeing with them and it let Nazis flock to the post who called queer people bad things (and OP didn’t care, they just “wanted to make a statement”)

The thing is though, I agree that sexualizing people who don’t want to be sexualized is bad. However:

no one was talking about irl nuns, people sexualize the concept of putting a character into a costume and they do this definitely not because they hate Christianity

Nuns often don’t become nuns out of free will, there are often personal things involved that force women into becoming chaste and modest

This forced chastity and modestity religion imposes on women is already objectification

funnily enough sex and divinity are more connected than these people believe

the worst isn’t someone drawing a sexy nun but the church demonizing BIPOC, abusing, children and women, covering up said abuse, erasing the language to help victims, and tbh they also largely fund and or promote anti LGBTQ+ legislations.

The fact that this is all overlooked for the sake of protecting the boundaries of entirely fake characters and having antis (both young and old) agree or play dumb when you tell them that THESE are bigger issues makes me mad. Like there wasn’t a single real nun who objected, they were all mad about the boundaries of people that weren’t involved at all

also assuming that women choose to become nuns because they don’t want to be sexualized is already the core belief of radical feminists. So much for progressiveness!

and my god so many people agree that trauma victims are also less worth than the chastity of a fake nun

Honestly, the sexualization of nuns is so funny to me because... I mean, why do they care? Promise you guys that most nuns aren't scrolling twitter r34 and getting personally offended by Alastor in religious cloaks. And also, nuns aren't going to have sex anyway, so the kink stays completely in fiction whether that's writing or roleplay.

#proship #proshipping #pro fiction #anti anti #ship discourse #proship discourse #pro kink #kink positive #kink discussion #kink discourse

[xx-slug-xx]

Pup hood discourse is fucking stupid imo. If people are just wearing them, and not acting like complete fools, who fucking cares?

“Bluh it’s kink gear!”

Yeah. They CAN be. So can fursuits in general. Some fursuits are murrsuits, but not all of them are. A chain necklace can be kink gear. So can leather boots. A LOT of things CAN be used as kink gear. But a lot of things can also just be a form of expression. Hell, there’s a shit tone of things out there that were a HUGE part of the kink community that, over time, just became part of normal fashion in the modern day. Croakers, leather, chains, and a ton of other things all have a huge role to play in kink. But I can go to most places in public and probably see people wearing things like that.

Unless I see someone in a pup hood who is obviously engaging in kink in public, I don’t care. It’s about the person and the way they behave in a public setting, not the accessory they are wearing.

Pup hoods are cool and so is the pup community! Never had a bad experience with anyone in that community and I’ve only had positive interactions!

#pro kink #puphood #kink discourse #kink tomato #kink culture #kink positive #bd/sm community