#because when i was younger and first trying out this whole transition thing. i drifted between xenogender labels and demiboy and nonbinary | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dzpenumbra · 1 year

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5/10/23

I was woken up again. At 9AM again. It's been like 4 consecutive weeks in a row now, I'm afraid it's becoming a ritual for these people. I did the whole go downstairs, get a bowl of cereal and then pass out in the chair thing again. It just really puts a damper on the whole day when I do that. I never feel fully rested, I never get right to sleep... so I end up finally starting my day way later. It's very frustrating.

I finished the ink drawing. Here, I'll post it.

I like it. I've been kinda... letting these improvised pieces inspire the next one, so it becomes... almost like a flip book. Each one taking the last one and iterating on it. This one brought in a lot more of these blobby shapes that have dominated a lot of my abstract work over the past 20+ years.

There was a big gamechanger that came into the day today. A YouTuber that I've been following since... probably 2015? The one who introduced me to RimWorld. The one who really inspired me to get into streaming at a serious level. Whose VoDs I have used to help me sleep for several years because of his thoughtful and comprehensive narration. He released a video today that... I have never seen any work of his at nearly this level. It was over 3.5 hours long. It was a deep-dive video essay on the incorporation of story in survival games, done through the lens of the game The Forest. It was... spectacular. I couldn't walk away, I couldn't even pause it. It pained me to pause it to even go pee, I was sitting squirming in my chair trying to watch and draw for at least 20 minutes before I caved. It's a really good video essay. Well researched, extremely well edited, fair and generous to the developers, yet... he stands his ground on his point and his perspective.

What kinda shook my foundation with it? He took the end of the essay as an opportunity to do a face reveal. And... it was a strange experience. He... looked like he could be a relative of mine. Like... he looked like a version my dad's younger brother... but my age. (I look more like my mom.) It... was a strange experience. To finally have a face to match the voice that has been setting the background when I went to sleep for years, that I've had on in the background while gaming since... at least 2017. Whose Project Zomboid streams I watched on the last night I spent with my terminally ill dog, and watched in bed while grieving her passing when I couldn't sleep. I have his Banished playthrough that I've been listening to fall asleep to this week, last week it was Planet Zoo. I can't even do the math on how many of these streams I have absorbed. Every Stellaris playthrough he's done, every Space Engineers stream I could find, X3, Kerbal Space Program, Rimworld (of course), good lord his playthrough of Subnautica was one of the most compelling playthroughs I've ever watched. Years and years of material to drift off to sleep to. It had been my routine for pretty much the whole pandemic... to play his streams when going to sleep, and somewhere along the way I started putting music on too so that once the stream ended, there was some sound on so it wasn't just silence.

Needless to say, it's very odd to finally get a face to match the voice. Like finally seeing the person who voices a cartoon character for the first time. It's just... my brain didn't really want to process it. But like... the most unsettling and weird part... is how... familiar he looked. And he, of course, is the one I gravitated towards because we have a ton in common. Though, over the past few years, we have split ways on stuff - lifestyle, entertainment preference, etc. It's just... odd. And it's still sitting with me.

What scares me a bit... I'm afraid it might be a sign he's getting ready to step away from YouTube. He might not, I might be reading into it. I mean, it's been his entire life for a decade. I dunno. Maybe he's just... transitioning? It felt like a big moment. He was always very against the premise of doing face reveals, always felt they were tacky. It validated me a lot, because I never really saw the point of taking up what we called in video and graphic design class "screen real estate" with a static box that just has your blank stare at a computer screen. I feel like it doesn't... contribute anything, it always felt really... vain. And he always echoed the same sentiment, and it gave me a lot of validation in an ocean of carbon copy streamers. And yet... here he is. So, idk. I've gotta get back into his livestreams soon. He's just... he's in UK, so... it's hard to get my schedule to overlap well.

I was so enthralled by the video that I skipped a shower. I ordered a pizza. I ate a bunch of it and then started working on the skull. The skull is in pretty rough shape. A lot of the bone is... nature got to it. It's not bad, it's just... porous and discolored in places. I did my best to get the debris out of the cavities, got most of it. I started to sand it, and it actually helps the look a lot. I might leave it on the windowsill to sun bleach it a bit, in addition to the sanding and polishing I'm doing. I have no clue what to do with it. There aren't really a lot of flat spaces. So... I'm probably going to treat the design work like... like face tattoos or something. I honestly don't know. But I think sanding and polishing it first is a good idea, it'll be an easier surface to work on. Then I can choose whether I even want to carve it, or if I want to just go ahead and ink/paint right on it. Now that it's out and sitting in my workspace, it freaks me out a lot less.

I tried polishing some stones too, some of the ones from the National Park. I just... wasn't really feeling it. That used to be go-to work for me in the past, and now? Now it just felt forced. So... I kinda took it easy today. I guess. I mean, if you want to call working on 3 separate projects "taking it easy".

I'm a bit depressed tonight. Probably the sleep deprivation affecting me. And the whole... not having a big super inspiring "super excited to work on it" project. Despite my anxiety about design elements and the permanence, I was always really excited about working on the hoodie. And the desire path project, I loved it. This skull? I'm just not there yet. I'm sure once I get the surface prepped and start sketching it will get much more comfortable and enticing. I guess it's just the sanding and polishing that I'm just... not really into right now, just in general.

I think I'm going to take this opportunity to head to bed a bit earlier than I usually do. Fingers crossed I don't hear another vacuum or whatever at 9AM, because if I go to bed right this second? I'm only getting 6 hours of sleep.

#diary #journal #stream of thoughts #online journal #stream of consciousness

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helnjk · 3 years

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All I’ve Ever Known - G.W.

George Weasley x fem!reader

last of my oneshots for my showtunes fic list, based on the song All I’ve Ever Known from the musical Hadestown! i’ve had so much fun with this series of fics, i hope you guys have enjoyed reading them xx

Word Count: 2.8k

Summary: george finds her extremely intriguing, the way she spends her days drawing and creating art. maybe one day he’ll pluck up the courage to talk to her.

Warnings: mentions of food, mentions of bullying/exclusivity, stereotypical slytherin biases

lyrics are bold and italicized

–

I was alone so long

I didn’t even know that I was lonely

Y/N sat by herself at the end of the Slytherin table, pushing what was left of her meal around her plate. She could hear the different conversations flowing around her, the ones including her fellow housemates moreso, but as usual she wasn’t involved in any of them.

She could hear Malfoy sneering to his little crew about something or other that Potter did to irritate him that day. She could hear Adrian Pucey discussing the latest Quidditch plays they had used at training that day. She could hear a couple of first years anxiously discussing the topic of their exams the next day.

All around her were signs of companionship and community, yet she was left utterly alone. She wasn’t stupid. She knew why she had been outcasted from her house the moment she got sorted.

“Isn’t she muggleborn?”

“What a disgrace to Slytherin.”

“The Sorting Hat’s made a mistake with that one.”

Over the years, she had gotten used to how those in her house treated her–holding her at arm’s length. She had spent many nights in her first year crying herself to sleep because of how all-consuming the loneliness had been, but now at her seventh year, she was numb to it all.

She knew who she was: A talented muggleborn witch and a proud Slytherin. She didn’t need validation from anyone else. And anyways, most of her time was spent out on the grounds with her sketchpad or in the Room of Requirement painting.

Loud laughs from the Gryffindor table spurred her out of her thoughts. The Weasley twins had pranked their younger brother, and it seemed like their younger sister was an accomplice to the crime as well. The rest of the red and gold house was watching on amusedly, no doubt accustomed to similar situations.

The Weasleys were a well known family at Hogwarts. How could they not be? With their fiery red hair and their big personalities, it was a given that they caught the attention of almost every student.

Y/N admired how they just fit right in with their house, their second family. Of course, a lot of it had to do with the fact that they were so comfortable with the Hat’s placement. Their whole family was sorted into Gryffindor, she could remember, albeit slightly foggily, the older Weasley siblings in leadership roles when she was younger.

Her eyes lingered on George’s laughing figure for a second longer than the rest of them. She was always intrigued by the younger twin. They seldom had classes together, but from what she could gather, he was just as observant and perceptive as he was mischievous and quick witted.

As bodies began to take their leave from the Great Hall, a rough shove to the shoulder nearly made Y/N fall onto the floor. Her eyes snapped up to the offender and she saw the unbecoming sneer of Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle were snickering not so quietly behind him as he stared down at her.

“Whoops,” he jeered, “Sorry to disrupt your staring at the blood traitors and gryffindorks. Maybe you’d be better off with the lot of them.”

With a huff, Y/N gathered her things and strode out of the hall without so much as a second look behind her.

It's like I’d known you all along

I knew you before we met

And I don’t even know you yet

All I know is you're someone I have always known

She was drawing again, George noted.

It always baffled him how she was always alone. Usually students at Hogwarts drifted about their days in groups or pairs; it was rare to see someone spend most of their time by themselves. Growing up with 6 siblings, and having a twin, George was so used to the chaos and noise that came with it that he couldn’t picture what it was like to go about your day solo.

His eyes drifted towards her figure sitting on a blanket out in the grounds. She was blissfully unaware of her surroundings, or more to the point, the person staring at her like a bloody idiot. The weather was slowly transitioning from autumn into winter, and he could tell that she was trying to milk the last few warm days.

It was no secret to him that she preferred to sketch out in the sunny grounds, but Hogwarts being situated in the Scottish countryside made it so that her window of opportunity to do so was limited.

He was so focused on how her brows furrowed in concentration and how her lips pursed ever so slightly when she made a mistake, that he didn’t notice Fred’s many deep sighs. This caused his twin to take one final deep breath and exhale as loudly as possible.

“What’s got your wand in a knot then?” George asked, taking his eyes off of Y/N and turning to face his brother.

“Finally noticed that I exist, have you?” teased Fred.

“Oi, just get on with whatever you want to say!”

He merely laughed, “If you want to talk to the snake, just do it!”

George had the audacity to act as if he didn’t know what Fred meant, “What in Merlin’s name are you on about?”

“Don’t be daft,” Fred smacked him lightly on the back of the head, “You’ve been pining after that Slytherin bird for months, just go and talk to her already!”

“Was I that obvious?”

With a frustrated groan, Fred shoved his twin in the direction of the girl. George stumbled for a second and checked to see if she had seen, she hadn’t. He sent a glare at the redhead over his shoulder, before dusting off his trousers and donning a confident facade.

As he strode across the courtyard, his hands grew increasingly clammy and his heart began to beat erratically in his chest. There was no turning back now, though, as he approached the girl.

His shadow blocked the sun from Y/N’s notebook and she looked up, not expecting anyone to get so close to her.

“Erm, hello,” George waved awkwardly as he towered over her figure.

She blinked a few times before replying, “Hello. Can I help you with something?”

“Mind if I join you?”

George’s question rang through the still air for a moment as Y/N processed what he had just asked. No one had ever wanted to keep her company as she drew before, she wasn’t quite sure how to react. Just before the moment turned even more awkward than it already was, she gave him a swift nod.

The tall, lanky redhead folded his legs beneath him as he made himself comfortable on the path of grass next to her. He had to stop himself from grinning too wide, “I’ve seen you around, you know.”

She merely raised a confused eyebrow in his direction.

“Not-not like I’ve been stalking you!” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck and feeling his ears turn hot, “I’ve just noticed you like to draw out here, especially when the weather’s warm.”

“Oh,” she mumbled, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?”

George’s gaze on hers was so sincere, she kicked herself internally for not saying the right thing to him, “No you’re not! Don’t worry. I’m just not used to people paying much attention to what I do. I mean, I’m not that interesting.”

She felt small under his analytic gaze, but something in her kept her from looking away.

“Well I think you’re plenty interesting from what I’ve seen,” He shrugged nonchalantly, “Tell me about your drawings!”

He had said the magic words and the pair of them dove into a conversation. Y/N couldn’t contain her excitement, as she rarely had the opportunity to speak about something she was so passionate about.

“These look bloody brilliant,” George murmured in awe as he flipped through the pages of her notebook.

Y/N’s face warmed at the compliment, “Thanks.”

All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own

But now I wanna hold you too

For nearly every day after their first encounter, George made it a point to talk to Y/N. Whether it be along the hallways on the way to class, during meals (he would take her hand and drag her to the Gryffindor tables, much to her bemusement), or out on the grounds while she drew.

Most of the time, he would talk and talk and talk as she listened quietly. A soft smile would always grace her lips as she observed him and how he spoke so highly of his family and how he was so excited for the shop he would be opening with his brother. The tone of his voice and his large grins always made her feel included in whatever it was that he talked about.

“Hello love,” George smiled down at her before plopping down on the soft grass to her right, “Reckon we’re on the last few days of good weather.”

His eyes raised skywards as the overcast clouds floated above them, hers did the same.

“It’s alright,” she shrugged, sending him a small smile, “We’ve made the most of it, I think.”

The pair sat in relative silence, as silent as it could be with one of the Weasley twins, as Y/N built up the courage to show George what she had made for him. With a deep breath, she plucked something from her school bag that lay strewn across the grass and held the parchment to her chest.

“George?”

“Yeah, Y/N?” his eyes trained on her nervous figure and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Everything alright?”

She nodded her head swiftly, “Yeah everything’s perfect! I just wanted to show you something that I made.”

Slowly, she smoothed out the parchment in front of them. She observed George quietly as he took in the sketch she had made. His eyes scanned it over once, twice, three times before they met hers again.

“Is this…” He mumbled, taking the sketch into his hands to look closer.

“You’ve just been so excited about your joke shop that I–I made a logo for you guys,” she smiled sheepishly, “It’s pretty bare bones, but I wanted you to see it. I won’t take offence if you don’t like it!”

George stared at her, mouth slightly agape. This was one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for him, and she did it out of the kindness of her heart. Without a second thought, he threw his arms around her and quickly pulled her to his chest. Y/N let out a little ‘oof’ as she collided with him, heat spreading throughout her body. She was thankful that she was basically smushed on his chest, at least then he couldn’t tell how flustered she got at his display of affection.

“So d’you like it?” she asked shyly, looking up at him.

“I bloody love it!”

Y/N let out a breath that she didn’t know she was holding, the pair of them grinning at each other.

Later in the day, George all but dragged Y/N into the Gryffindor common room in search of Fred. His brother was sat on one of the couches by the fireplace, chatting idly with Lee. The sound of parchment hitting him square in the chest rang through the relatively empty room.

Fred’s hands immediately held onto whatever George had placed on him, and his eyes lit with joy as he realized what he was looking at.

“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed, “Is this what I think it is?”

George took a seat next to his brother, his hand tugging Y/N along to take the seat beside him, “Yep. Our Y/N here has made us a logo for Wheezes.”

“This is brilliant, Y/N! Thank you!”

For the second time that day, she found herself wrapped up in the arms of a Weasley twin. Slightly used to it, she just laughed the show of affection off and patted Fred slightly on the back.

“Happy to help,” she smiled.

–

As the seasons turned from autumn to winter, Y/N found herself spending more and more time with the red headed twins. She found their enthusiasm for their joke shop infectious, always chipping in with ideas of her own for products, or sketching up prototypes for them to look at.

Slowly, her days were filled with laughter and warmth.

It was a little jarring at first, spending so much time with people who actually cared about her, people who wanted to hear what she said and see what she created. It surprised her, really, how quickly she had become accustomed to being around them.

After a while, though, she found herself wanting to spend as much time as possible with George. She lived for the routine that they had formed, spending most of their breaks and meals together.

It struck her on a seemingly ordinary day, the realization that she was falling for him.

Y/N and George were at a far corner in the library, discussing how the product designs she made could be tweaked a little. He was hunched over the parchment, tracing his fingers over the soft lines of charcoal on the parchment, smudging it just a tad bit and getting some of the pigment on him.

“I love the way you drew…”

George had said something or other about the design, but Y/N couldn’t focus on anything except the way his arm flexed as he spoke. From the corner of her eye, she kept glancing at him, noticing how the glow of candlelight cast soft shadows on his face. The freckles on his cheeks seemed to dance in the flickering light, and looking at the constellations on his face made her breath hitch in her throat.

She couldn’t quite place why her heart was raging in her chest, as if she hadn’t spent most of her days with the red headed boy anyway.

And then it hit her.

Her eyebrows shot up at the sudden awareness of her feelings for George. Oh sweet Merlin and Morgana, she thought.

You take me in your arms

And suddenly there’s sunlight all around me

“George!”

Y/N’s voice rang through the relatively empty hallway as she raced to meet her friend. The friend that she might have been in love with. The friend that she spent hours and hours of her day with, trying to ignore the bubble of feelings that wanted so badly to burst in her chest.

The redhead who was on his way back up to his common room paused mid-step as he heard her voice. He spun on his heel, turning just in time for him to see her barreling towards him, waving a piece of parchment above her head.

When she nearly collided head on with him, he instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist and steadied her, “Woah there, Y/N. There’s no need to try and kill me.”

She huffed, catching her breath slightly, “Sorry, I’m just so excited!”

“Are you going to tell me what you’re excited about, or?” he teased, cocking his head to the side.

With a grin on her face, she shoved the piece of parchment she was holding into George’s hands, “I just figured out how the general design of the Wonder Witch products should look like! See here there’s a–”

“Godric I love you.”

Both bodies froze at the statement. George immediately felt his whole body get hot, no doubt tinging his cheeks and the tips of his ears red. Y/N’s mouth was slightly agape, her mind whirring with all kinds of thoughts as she tried to comprehend what had just come out of George’s mouth.

“What?” she asked, unable to form a proper sentence.

George took a deep breath, there was no going back now, “Erm, yeah. I fancy the hell out of you, Y/N. That wasn’t the way I would’ve preferred to tell you but, I do–I do love you, yeah.”

“Oh, Georgie,” Y/N whispered.

Taking her answer as a rejection, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s alright that you don’t feel the same way, I don’t want this to ruin–”

Instead of replying, she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in a hug, “I love you too, you silly boy.”

The nerves got the better of her, and her words were slightly muffled as she whispered them into his chest.

“Come again?”

“I love you too, George!”

A wide grin spread across his face as he looked at the girl in his arms. He felt like he could fly with how happy he was. Everything he needed was right in front of him, and he would hold her close for as long as he could.

–

General taglist: @expectoevans @george-fabian-weasley @gxthsanrio @slytherinscribbles @harpyloon @nuttytani @mesmerisedangel @amourtentiaa @hufflepuff5972

Weasley twins taglist: @whizboingies @pineapplesandpinas @papapapadumb @mrs-g-weasley @a-castle-of--glass @hey-there-angels

#kai's showtunes fics #george weasley #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley imagines #george weasley imagine #george weasley fics #george weasley fic #george weasley x reader #george weasley x y/n #tw food mention #tw bullying

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srhlsx · 4 years

Text

masterlist | chapter 1 | CHAPTER 2 | chapter 3

warnings: none?

“Is the weather in Kanto much different from here, your highness?”

“Honestly Mae, I’ve never set foot in Kanto.” You turned away from the racks of hanging clothing in your closet to hand over another dress to the girl standing near you. She was only a few years younger than you, having just started her job as one of your maids a few weeks ago. She grabbed the dress from you and neatly packed it away with the other clothes you had picked out. “I think I’ll pack a little bit of everything, just to be sure.”

“A wise choice,” She nodded. You had to roll your eyes at her formality. No matter how many times you told her she didn’t have to talk to you so stiffly, she couldn’t get past it. “Your mother mentioned we’d be sending the rest of your things later.”

“Mhmm, what should I wear for my arrival?” You stepped back to get a better look across the clothing you hadn’t yet packed. Your hands rested at your hips as you mulled over the possibilities, the young maid stepping up to stand next to you and look around as well.

“Your new king’s colors are red and black, maybe something of those colors.”

You jumped, slightly startled at the new voice that came from the doorway separating your bedroom from your closet. Both you and Mae turned around quickly to see the bright eyes and sharp expression of Hoshiumi watching you.

“Doesn’t really match my aesthetic though,” You smirked at him before turning back to the array of light colored clothes you owned, “Maybe I’ll just wear white to scare the poor boy who has to marry me.”

Looking over at Mae, who had significantly shrunken in on herself with the arrival of Hoshiumi in his full soldier uniform, you nodded towards the door to signal to her that it was okay for her to leave. She scurried away, grabbing the bag of clothing that was finished packing and bowing quickly at both of you before disappearing.

“She’s quite meek,” Hoshiumi observed, turning to look at you after watching your maid leave.

“She’ll grow into it,” You mumbled. You distracted yourself with folding another piece of clothing into the open bag that was left. A thick air hung in the space you stood in, a sadness that had consumed you since news of your departure had been made known.

Your wedding was in one week and you were departing for Kanto and its capital city of Tokyo that evening. Things between you and your guard had been tense ever since you told him what your father’s plan for you was. He was quiet about it, silently stewing over the fact that you were being forced into the whole thing. You reminded him it was your duty and you could handle yourself, but he still had a sharp look in his eyes whenever it was brought up.

“Keep looking at me like that and I might start thinking you’re going to miss me, Kōrai.” You smiled up at him, quirking your eyebrow in a teasing manner.

He let out a bitter sounding chuckle, shaking his head and stepping into the room towards you. “Hardly,” he started. “The kitchen workers and I are throwing a celebration the minute you’re gone.”

You snorted a breath of air through your nose, turning back to your folding although now you weren’t doing a very neat job of it. “Yeah well…” You mumbled, the sad thought that you were actually leaving your home starting to hit you. You turned to Hoshiumi and gave him a thin, closed-lip smile, the action not meeting your eyes as you leaned against the table your bag rested on. “I’m sorry you won’t get to become a king.”

“(Y/n),” He stepped closer to you, reaching a hand up to caress your cheek gently. “You know that is never what it’s been about.”

“I-” Your voice was cut off when his hand that had been on your cheek drifted to the back of your head and pulled you forward towards him. Your eyes closed as Hoshiumi’s lips pressed to yours in a deep kiss. He didn’t try anything else, content with keeping you pressed against him for as long as you would allow. It wasn’t the first time the two of you had kissed by any means, but the way he held onto you made it clear he wanted the last time to be memorable. After a few moments you lifted your hands to push on his chest and create a little bit of distance between the two of you. “Kōrai, I-”

“You will always be my queen, (Y/n).” He said, his eyes held a sad but hard expression as they shifted their gaze to something over your head - anything to not look directly at you. “I’m leaving tomorrow, for Chugoku.”

“Leaving?” You questioned, finally snapping out of the haze that had gathered in your head. “I thought you were going to be here in charge of the guard? Who will-”

“Your brother has called for me, he offered me a position in his King’s Guard when he is crowned next year.” Hoshiumi stepped away from you, fixing pieces of his uniform that didn’t need fixing but served as a good distraction. Your silence made him look up at you after a few seconds, “Gao will take over here and you’ll be provided a new guard when you get to Tokyo. His majesty’s guard is known to be above and beyond in skill, I find comfort in knowing you’ll be taken care of.”

You nodded along with his words, turning back to folding your clothes. You had accepted your fate, but the sadness was still there and you let it show when you threw a piece of clothing into the bag a little more aggressively than what was needed. “This fuckin’ blows,” You said, Hoshiumi chuckling at your choice of vulgar words.

“If anyone can survive this, it’s you princess.” Hoshiumi laughed at the over-dramatic pout that had adorned your features, pulling you into a comforting hug and resting his chin on top of your head. “Just watch your temper.”

Wrapping your arms around your old friend you squeezed him extra tight, allowing yourself a little bit more time for sadness before you had to leave your home.

As the car pulled onto the road that led to your future home, you had to admit you were impressed. Even being in the middle of a large city, Castle Nekoma was on a plot of land that stretched far and wide with a lush lawn of green grass and scattered trees. A river snaked its way parallel to the road and eventually curved to surround the castle on two sides.

The castle itself was built entirely of gray stones, the tall towers and smooth arches that made up the structure of it were beautifully crafted and reminded you much of your own home. You’d been to many castles around Japan and even within your own kingdom, but having never set foot in Kanto you weren’t sure what you’d find for the king’s living arrangements. The royal family was known for their power and wealth so it was no surprise their castle was a sight to behold.

“Your highness?” You were pulled out of your thoughts with the stopping of the SUV, the driver looking at you through the rear-view mirror and his darkly tinted sunglasses. “We’ve arrived.”

You nodded your head and sat up a little straighter as the door next to you was opened by a middle aged man in a black suit. Taking the hand he held out for you, you stepped out onto the stone pathway leading up to the castle before you. Waiting a few feet away at the top of a set of steps was an older couple you instantly recognized as the current King, Yasufumi Nekomata, and his wife. They stood with modest smiles on their faces as you climbed the steps, your heels clacking against the stones the only sound while servants and soldiers watched.

“Your majesty,” You put on your best smile and bowed deeply towards the old man, lifting up after a moment and repeating the greeting towards his wife. “Thank you for receiving me.”

“We are glad to have you Princess,” Nekomata said, his narrow eyes crinkling even smaller as he smiled at you. “I do apologize our son will not be joining us.”

“I understand the prince has his priorities,” You nodded politely, the smile on your face did not reach your eyes and you didn’t mean for it to. You had your suspicions that the prince would not greet you, not out of disrespect but because he had not had the mind for it. He prioritized his training, royal duties, over greeting some foreign princess he was going to marry regardless.

You would not let this small bump impact you, but you would hold it against him.

“Come,” Nekomata waved a hand at the servants unloading your things behind you from the car and then turned to walk into the castle, holding out an arm for his wife to grab. “Let’s give you a brief tour and then show you to your living space, I’m sure you’re wary from traveling.”

You didn’t get the full tour, really only getting shown around the wing of the castle where the living quarters were located, but it didn’t matter much as your feet were hurting and the sun signaled it was getting close to time for dinner to be served.

A servant opened the door to a large and ornate living space, and you had to stop yourself from actually gawking at the arrangements. You knew the royal family of Tokyo was wealthy, but this was extravagant.

You took a few steps in, turning around to take it all in as the queen followed after you with a pretty girl with long blonde hair wearing a dark uniform trailing after her. “This will be your living space, I do hope it’s comparable to what you are used to.”

“Yes, your majesty.” You breathed out, taking a closer look at some of the more personal details around the room - like small trinkets on the nightstands, a tossed shirt, or a casual spear resting in the corner. Confused, you turned to her to complete your thoughts. “Um, this is very satisfactory.”

“Ah, I see Tetsurō didn’t quite clean up everything like I asked.” She chuckled, motioning towards the items you had been pointedly looking at. At your confused look she continued to explain, “These are the prince’s living quarters. Since you will be married soon we assumed it would be easiest to have you move in here now - to make the transition easier and not have you move too often.”

Pursing your lips together, you tried not to be too obvious in your hesitation over the arrangements. The queen was smiling at you, eyes closed although you got the sense she was waiting for you to protest, to challenge her. You nodded in understanding, “I appreciate you accommodating so much for me.”

“Well, dear, you will be family in a few days. We take care of each other here.” She placed a delicate, manicured hand on your cheek - her touch was light, but you felt the weight of power off it anyways. “Alisa will be your attendant, let her know if there is anything you need.”

You smiled at the girl who was waiting by the door, she bowed and smiled brightly back at you. “It is lovely to meet you, your highness.” She greeted, hands clasped in front of her tightly. “I look forward to serving you.”

As the queen said her goodbyes, you let Alisa know that you’d like to take your dinner in your room for that night, citing fatigue as your reasoning. Nodding fervently, she excused herself and went to gather up the meal for you.

Now alone, you took the opportunity to explore the living space you found yourself in. Unlike yours back home, this space was one large room. The head of the bed was against the far wall, the surrounding curtains pulled back and tied against the four posts at each corner, and an overwhelming number of dark colored pillows decorating the surface. The more you looked around you noted how seriously they took their royal colors here, everything was a dark shade of red, accented in gold, or completely black.

A closed door led to what you assumed was the bathroom and closet, but you’d explore that later. What was calling out to you most was a set of double doors, already open and leading to a balcony that looked over the large courtyard of the castle. You made your way outside, the air already starting to cool off with the setting of the sun. Walking to the ledge and leaning your weight on your elbows with your arms crossed over each other casually you could see the expanse of the courtyard.

More importantly, you saw a group of what looked like soldiers sparring with each other. You were getting married in a few days, but you were also a woman in her early twenties - it wouldn’t hurt anyone to admire what was in front of you. Leaning forward a little more comfortably, you watched the men who looked around your age, grunting and tousling against each other.

“What’s wrong, Bokuto? Giving up so easily?” Kuroo stood up from his fighting stance, leaning his weight against the blunt training staff he was holding. He shot a smirk at his friend, the teasing glint in his eyes brighter than ever in the light of the setting sun.

“Your bride has arrived,” Bokuto nodded behind Kuroo in the direction that had caught his attention.

Kuroo stood straight and turned around, lazily following Bokuto’s gaze up to the third floor balcony that was attached to his own living quarters. Bokuto had been right, leaning against the ledge stood a beautiful creature, hair carried by the wind, gaze most definitely on the group of sparring men - on him. Wearing a pale pink dress immediately told the group you were not from around there, although yours was a face not easily forgotten anyways.

“Damn,” Bokuto chuckled. “They sure make ‘em right in Chubu. I heard she’s a real piece of work.”

“Yes, she is King Hirugami’s only daughter.” Kuroo said, sweeping his staff towards Bokuto and catching him off guard, making him stumble when his legs were nearly taken out from beneath him. “Now stop staring and fight me.”

“Yes, your highness.” Bokuto sneered at the prince, walking back into the training space they had previously been in.

Your eyes watched as the two who had been staring at you moved back to practice together some more, and you kept watching as they began moving against one another with calculated and deliberate strikes.

TAGS: @turquoiselace @akasuns @edensxgarden @iguessimastannow @carbs-need-more-love @ack-aashi @weebartistinc @semiathleticnerdykid @foryearsnyears @kuxredere @yatoatyourservice @rirk-ke @weebintheinternet @hajartemis @kiyobbie @aegeanblues @guardianangelswings @lukaseu @aj--honey @shiningstar-byulxx

Tags are open if you’d like to be added As always, thank you for the love on this!!!!

#kuroo testuro #kuroo tetsurou #royal kuroo #prince kuroo #haikyuu kuroo #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu reader insert #haikyuu reader #x reader #royal au #royalty au #haikyuu au #srhlsx majesty

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normieexclusive · 4 years

Text

How My MC wins the boys over:

Ah, um, this really went off from the original story line. This was also supposed to be a short simple thing but then I started thinking and two hours later Im left with a bunch of messy notes and thoughts

The first to fall victim is:

Mammon turns out to be easy, literally MC just shows him an ounce of kindness and he takes it and runs.

Unconsciously MC gets much softer around him then the others (A combination of total trust in him and wanting to show how much love he deserves despite his brothers treating him harshly)

hes the one that gets the most kisses, the most hugs, and its great for them at first because they get to make fun of the dumb ass second born getting doted on but some silly little human and (while denying it constantly) loving it.

But then the others start to actually like MC and Mammon can nearly feel the six pairs of eyes glaring him down as his Human showers him with all the affection before going about their day.

(There’s one moment where, while Mammons sitting on the floor and MC is on the bed and he's making fun of one of his brothers that MC just grabs him by the back of his shirt collar- with only a finger- pulls him in between her legs (So his back is to her) and gives him a kiss on the top of his head as she coos "Mammon, be nice to your brothers" and he shuts down for the rest of the day)

Second, but the bestest of friends!:

With Levi its by being a grade A nerd and overthinking.

She reads all of TSL for their big quiz, and watches the movies with Beel and mammon, but on top of that the nerd goes back to the books and starts to annotate everything.

She starts digging for any bit of subtext she can find and jotting down notes in the margins, in her notebook, on sticky notes.

It becomes enough of an issue that she has to buy a new set because the first (Old and used) ones she got off of akuzon are ruined with her messy scrawling.

During the quiz they are evenly matched (if only because shes given such easy questions. Shes pissed but at the same time oh gosh she is really not up to Levis level) and somewhere along the way she just... Goes off about this theory of hers and reading the subtext because she needs to get this out and it seems like Levis the only one that can really keep up with her

(She tried to talk to Mammon and Beel but, honestly, they're as helpful as you'd think)

She forgets about the whole quiz and yanks out her vandalized book in order to debate with Levi about a part. Levi is horrified at the state of her TSL book and nearly goes apeshit right there, but then she shows just how much of a nerd she truly is by showing him the much nicer version she brought along

("And its even signed! Can you believe that! I didn't order a signed one cause they were too expensive but somehow the boxes must have gotten switched up! Ah! Levi! You have a shrine in you're room for them right! You should have these copies, I think you'll take more care of them then I can!")

Whenever they have a conversation its gibberish to everyone around them but they get it and that’s what matters.

(They spend nights just in his room and no one knows what they're doing so they assume the worst. The others always send Levi dirty looks when it happens, and Levi always looks a little more refreshed after every one.

They're having anime/gaming/TSL marathons but Levi lives for the jealousy that rolls off his brothers so hes not telling them anytime soon)

Somewhere starting after her pact with Levi and after the Lucifer/Satan Body switch:

The whole fiasco with Levi actually leads to Satan warming up to her!

He had initially brushed her off as a soon to be Lucifer Lapdog (and also kind of dumb) but now he's interested.

Someone whos capable of dissecting a book like that has to at least have some ability to reason, he just cant figure out if that moment was a fluke or if shes actually smart.

He refuses to start a conversation with her like a normal person and instead resorts to pranking her at every opportunity hoping to see if she’ll think her way out of it (He does leave some hints for when ones about to happen, but gets frustrated when she walks right past them)

It backfires on him tremendously because, somehow, they never seem to work! it goes to the point where it becomes rube goldberg levels of pranks that are always almost-but-not-quite misses because she bent down at just the right time to pick up a shiny rock.

Satan is at his wits end and ready to rip someone apart

his pranks start to extend to the others, it’s only after mammon mentions such that it finally clicks in her...

That same day she willingly walks into a pie in the face and Satan nearly cries.

After he starts to rile her up more often with words. He learns very quickly that she is a fantastic debate partner and, if he can find the right button to push, he’ll get her going for hours as they go back and forth

(And!! Even better!! Not only does she listen to everything he says and waits her turn! But Shes willing to change her opinion when she thinks he has a better point. When she loses She’ll come back hours later to drag more information out of him.

That’s usually not the case though, because Satan finds way too much enjoyment out of playing devils advocate and will simply choose whatever is opposition her POV.

He tried to argue about how she couldn't possibly like a flavor of candy she was eating because he didn't like it and nearly gave her an aneurysm)

(To his complete embarrassment, though, he has gotten hard during one of their debates and nearly lost because she looked fucking amazing as she shouted at him)

A bond that starts right at their first meeting and grows throughout her entire time there:

Beel is scary at first, and Lucifer- for some forsaken reason- made it her job to make sure Beel doesn't clean out the fridge every single day.

Shes scared of the man that seemed more then willing to eat her, but shes more scared of whatever punishment Lucifer would deal if she didn't at least try.

So she goes

It only takes her one run in with Beel and his puppy dog eyes (Because how could she just stop him like that!! How awful of her!!) for her to figure out that

A: this man is harmless and...

B:she knows what hunger pains feel like and the guilt wells up

Still she knows she can let him go so she spends her grimm allowance on buying ingredients to cook with and makes him huge meals as "offerings"

It doesn't always stop him from eating half the fridge, but sometimes it seems like he's willing to actually savor what she makes.

It gives her enough time to save the ingredients for dinner that night. (and If Beel sometimes wanders over to the kitchen while shes watching so shell make something for him, well there’s no harm done

The bastard pavlov dogged her and shes none the wiser)

Slow and steady, the pieces fall into place naturally:

Asmo turns out to be another easy one, to her shock.

Even with MCs jealousy over how stunning Amso looks and how easy it is for him... they just seem to drift to each other

Starts with a comment on Asmos sharp eyeliner one day, and Asmo asking MC what shampoo she uses.

Then the next day the same brand shampoo (And conditioner) will be left outside his door. And after MC will walk into the bathroom first thing in the morning only to wonder whom the fuck applied eyeliner to her in her sleep

It starts with days where they greet each other in the morning, to Stopping to chat for a few moments before heading on with their morning routine, to them walking down together, to Asmo fussing over her disheveled look after just waking up ‘-seriously Asmo not everyone can just roll out of bed like some Demons and look stunning’ - to ‘MC move over a scooch I need more room’ ‘Asmodeus this is my bed’ ‘Well how are we both supposed to fit when its so small!’, to weekly spa days and Gossiping about the others.

Its such an smooth transition that they both feel like it had always been as it was- two friends whispering secrets to each other late at night, pinky promises made over arbitrary things, laying so close that they can feel the others breathing. If maybe he leaned in a little closer they would--

--Oh... She fell asleep again.

And he curls up next to her, blanket wrapped around both of them (That is, until Asmo hogs it later) and sleeps peacefully

A build up of trust, and a moment of venerability that finally knocks down his walls:

Swallows her pride for Lucifer

Its hard to explain in words for her, but she tells him of her family.

A family that is good but dosnt care, that used to leave her alone for hours on end when she was far too young. She says it with a smile too, admits that it helped her become as independent as she was, that she could cook for herself before she was 10.

She tells him of her younger brother. Someone she tried her best to love as much as she could only for him to, one day, just stop talking to her. Years trying to build back an abruptly cut connection only for him to snap one day and change his tune to something much worse. A family that watched as he screamed at her, berated her and never did anything. How she still stood tall, how she swallowed back every tear and tried to talk to him with a steady voice- only for him to become angrier.

How, when he did try to snap at other members, she was always there to stand between them. How she was the one to chase him off or take the yelling despite her family never doing the same for her. How she was the stable rock of the family where no one was for her.

Physical violence was only once, but it was enough for her to know things would never change.

She was like him in a way, same but different.

and She cant bear to see the same thing happen to him.

She wants to help, she knows shes just a little, useless human but please she needs to help. She cant bare leaving another broken family behind without helping. Her life had been stagnate before them, unbearably lonely, and she just wants them to be happy, even if that means without her

even if it means she has to shove her nose where it doesn't belong

So... please... Please... Talk to Belphie. Please. He said he just wants to tal--

(She had earned Lucifer's respect not too long ago, and - to everyone's shock- the revel of what she came upon does not bring upon Lucifer's fury. Instead, he feels a deep understanding that he’ll never say aloud

Shes still going to get lectured, though. But he is too.)

It takes time:

Spends what probably amounted to most of her time in Devildom with that little fu--

(No, No. Belphie needs help, she needs to reel it in for now.)

She gets what it means to be lonely. Despite her distrust of the man who caged up in a place where the bad people are, you know, supposed to be caged up and tutored feels like she needs to do something- if only to make sure he doesn't lose his mind from the isolation.

(Rethinks a lot of her life and how she spent just hiding away from everything. How she would lock her door and never come out unless the sounds of another fight reached her. Thought about how it probably messed her up more then shes willing to admit and refuses to let the same thing happen to him

Oh sweet summer child)

Less trusting of him when its reviled that hes the seventh born, but more willing to help. If only for Beels sake

Brings stuff up to his room, a toy, a fluffy blanket, food that she snagged last minute. He complains hes cold one day and she yanks off her own sweater for him

(It all gets flushed down the toilet when she leaves, he scrubs his skin raw thinking about how his room smells disgustingly like that fucking human now)

And then, one day, it just... changes:

A human stands between him and the fucker that locked him up in there, his brothers that never knew he was there. All of them watching him with such pity in their eyes and he didnt want it- he didnt want their p-

The door was unlocked.

He was free.

Just like that.

it made no sense. He learns that they-- She-- spent hours dancing around Diavolo, deals were made. A room where it was just her and The Prince of Hell, promises not even Lucifer knew (And some part of Belphie relished in the fact that it was eating away at the fucker)

("All those hours shouting at each other paid off” She looks to Satan with a smile. A joke he was not privy to. Lucifer huffed but said nothing.

How much had changed since he was locked up?)

A slow, downward spiral

They're never alone, someone is always with her or with him (Beel sticks to his side like glue. after so long he finally gets to sleep next to his brother again)

He finds food in the fridge with the words “For Beel <3″ in this awful chicken scratch handwriting. Mammon’s screaming interrupts his naps one day and he wakes up to see her smothering the second born in kisses. Her shouting wakes him up as her and Satan pass, her voice becoming high pitched as they argue about... the number of toes humans are supposed to have???? (she sits down next to him and rips off her shoes in a fit of rage, demanding that Belphie count with her because what the fuck-

Satan sneers at her feet and tells the only actual toes are her two big ones, the rest are just digits.)

There’s traces of her everywhere. Layers of clothing haphazardly thrown about after a day at RAD and then neatly placed away. A mention of her name at the dinner table before shes there. Not even his and beels room is safe from her- he can smell her scent on Beels pillow. Faint, but a awful reminder of the human down the hall.

He hates it, he wants to throw it all away. He wants to erase her memory from his home, he wants to ripe her apa--

A blanket is draped over him one day, and he cant bring himself to open his eyes to see who did it...

She talks to him, Or more like at him. The longer he stays freed the harder is it to hide his distaste towards Humanity and- especially- to her. He thinks shes dense, because he knows his brothers sense there’s something wrong (Levis tail wraps around her when hes too close, Lucifer stands between them, Amso pulls her by the waist. Close to him, further from belphie) But she doesn't. She pushes closer. She asks him questions.

She never touches him, one small blessing in Hell.

Beel believes him when he bashfully admits one night that he may start to enjoy his time spent with human. And for a moment he feels guilty about the lie but its all for a greater goal

When its just the three of them, Beel leaves for a moment too long. To get snacks, to grab something from another room, it doesn't matter. This was the moment he waited for.

She smiles at him, all kind and gentle (And the words that leave her lips are unheard through the blood rushing through his ears) and leans forward

He puts his hands around her neck

She goes limp.

He-

He needed to-

He couldn’t squeeze.

Beel comes back with the biggest grin on his face, arms full of snacks (”Here MC I got your favorite”) He sits on the opposite side of Belphie, leaning into him with enough weight that his own shoulder presses against MCs, mushing her against the wall.

Despite her smile he can feel her shaking.

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faedawayyy · 3 years

Text

next generation list. if i've removed a character you loved or really liked, i'm sorry! i just feel like i need a restart.

BRETT JACKSON, only son of dallas.

- intp - musician - heterosexual - moved from the springs to gold coast to be closer to ally - starting his singing career slowly - definitely still has financial struggles thanks to dallas fc: jack gilinsky >> ALLY, his girlfriend. very much in love with her. he’s moved academy’s so that they can work on their relationship. >> HALEY, ally’s sister. they’re good friends and brett feels responsible for her in a weird way. >> AMY, loaned money to him after finding out that he was broke, especially after quitting his job at sloan’s. however, he has no idea how he’s going to pay her back, especially from half way across the world. >> ROMAN, an old friend of his. he used to work at sloan’s and the two boys got closer but then brett moved away. they’re still really good friends and brett sees him as a little brother.

PETER CARMICHAEL, son and youngest child of mason and kendall

- entj - athlete - heterosexual - liberty academy, mason secretly paid for him to get in - long distance relationship with bianca - still kind of an asshole fc: neels visser >> BIANCA, his girlfriend. things have got tougher since they’re living on different continents and going to different universities. he still loves her but is starting to realise it isn’t as amazing and easy as he thought it was at gallagher. >> LOTTIE, a frenemy. he always knew of lottie but didn’t have much to do with her until they ended up in liberty together. he made a move on her while drunk at a party and she flat out rejected him. it’s definitely awkward now. >> VICTORIA, his sister. he can’t stand her. >> ADDY, his friend. peter has always felt bad about the treatment addy used to get with their friendship group and towards the end of high school, he always made an active effort to make her feel looked after and included. >> AMELIA knew that peter cheated his way into liberty and was going to get him kicked out, but he beat her too it. desperate for her not to have something over him, he found out about how she cheated her way into diamond bridge and they now go back and forth with blackmail.

FLEUR CARMICHAEL, daughter of disney and brody

- estj - model and designer - heterosexual - burgundy academy, dixie sabotaged her rosewell acceptance - her sister is her biggest rival but also best friend - plans to transfer to LA or paris fc: kendall jenner >> ROMAN is one of fleur’s best friends and she always had a crush on him. however, so does dixie and they’re VERY competitive for his attention. >> MADDIE is her best friend and roman’s ex girlfriend. fleur always tried to keep her feelings secret because she didn’t want to get in between the two of them. >> DIXIE is her twin sister. the two of them are so competitive and have always fought like sister’s do. the older they’ve grown, the worse it’s got. they’re constantly trying to outdo one another but weirdly enough, they’re also really good friends. >> LOUISA is one of her best friends but they have a very competitive friendship and get jealous of one another easily.

JUDAH CRUZ-MENDOZA, middle child of blake and christelle

- infp - actor and model - bisexual - st judes, he’s really proud of his parents/how they met - signed a contract with disney channel - he’s just came out as bisexual (male pref) to his family fc: booboo stewart >> AVERY is his ex-crush. judah was completely infatuated by avery and had his first experience with a guy with him. avery always kept it secret, though, which was fine. however, he now feels like he’s actively avoiding him and trying to distance himself which hurts. >> WHITNEY is his sister and probably the sibling he’s the closest with. he would have come out to her first and trusts her with everything. he’s definitely missing being as close to her because they’re getting their own identities and lives but he loves her all the same. >> AURORA is his best friend. the children of hensley, christelle and soraya had no choice but to grow up close and aurora is like an honorary sister to him. >> ELIJAH is a new love interest of his. elijah hasn’t come out yet and can be slightly homophobic while judah is freshly open about his sexuality and enjoying it, so even though there’re feelings there, it is definitely a bit messy.

THEA CRUZ-MENDOZA, oldest child of blake and christelle

- esfp - singer (vc: jhene aiko) - heterosexual - west ivys, she wanted to be close to family but not too close LOL - she’s like the mum when christelle’s not around. way too bossy with her siblings but is also kinda the blue print. she was a mischievous kid for sure. - a third year, she graduated from springs park a while ago fc: christina nadin >> CAM is a good friend of hers, that she definitely feels something for and he feels something for her too. neither of them have admitted it to themselves, let alone each other.

ETHAN HARWOOD, son of nate and imogen

- entj - athlete - heterosexual - liberty academy - he’s a fuckboy and still a fuckboy. some people peak in high school - he did - but he’s still riding out that peak. he’s also fallen out with jay, his old best friend. - addy’s ex; they still sometimes speak fc: xavier serrano >> ADDY is his ex-girlfriend. their relationship was quite manipulative and not good for either of them. he knows he still has a little bit of power over her though and really doesn’t want to see her move on. >> JAY is a frenemy. the two of them have started to drift and fight over the smallest of things. their friendship has quickly fallen apart and it’s clear they’re not the same as they were in high school. >> YOUI he’s lowkey been flirting with her for ages now and it’s only intensified since he and addy broke up, but it’s always been touchy since she’s addy’s old best friend.

KITTY-LEE HENSHAW, youngest daughter of natasha and anthony

- isfp - actress and model - lesbian - academia burgundy - she’s making a transfer to be closer to victoria, who she’s infatuated with - she transitioned at an early age and her whole family has always been accepting, there’s no secrets around it. - she has a tendency to get jealous fc: hunter schafer >> VICTORIA is her best friend and crush. kitty has had feelings for victoria for as long as she can remember. they’ve always been best friend’s but it’s always gone deeper than that for kitty. deep down, she knows victoria doesn’t feel the same but she’s going to keep trying. >> ADDY is a frenemy. kitty really doesn’t like addy and it’s purely because of the group she was in at gallagher. kitty has never clicked with the popular kids and would actively go out of her way to avoid them, so when victoria took a liking to addy at the end of high school, it threw her world upside-down a little and she’s definitely jealous.

ROWAN WEST, son of hensley and evan

- esfp - director and athlete - heterosexual - gold coast academy - he’s kind of like, reformed. he’s still not the softest but he’s definitely grown a lot since high school and the bad rep he got for himself post-ally. - always in trouble. always. he has the worst of both parents in him LOL fc: chase stokes >> MADDIE is his new love interest. he’s really invested in getting to know her even though they live quite far apart. he does his best to keep his past with ally a secret from her. >> DAPHNE is an old friend of his. they used to clash quite a lot but have grown to really like each other. >> ALLY is his ex-girlfriend. the two of them have a complicated history and that’s exactly where rowan wants her to stay - in his history. he realises where he went wrong with her but is ready to move on. the only problem is they go to the same school and both study sports, it’s only a matter of time before he has to confront her. >> HARLOW was a rebound ex-girlfriend. after ally, there was harlow. he feels bad for calling her a rebound but that’s exactly what she was. he just needed to feel *something* after the mess and poor harlow was the first in-line. >>WHITNEY AND AURORA are his childhood friends.

NICOLAS CASTILLO-HUGES, only son of natalie and ezra

- intj - writer (for screen) - bisexual - diamond bridge academy - very bright and intuitive. despite the difficulties ezra and natalie went through raising him, he loves them both and thinks very highly of them. he’s very focused on his dreams. fc: rome flynn

YASMINE HERNANDEZ, daughter of yulia

- infp - singer/actress - bisexual - liberty academy - yulia became infamous for being a home-wrecker and sleeping with lots of influential men when she left st judes. she quickly gained a bad reputation and people disregarded her talent because she was a ‘gold digger’. yasmine is often treated the same by students her age. fc: selena gomez >> LOTTIE is her best friend. they met on the first day of liberty and are roommates. yasmine definitely clings to lottie and is one of the only friends she trusts due to her anxiety. >> NOAH has an unrequited crush on her. yasmine finds it hard to trust people and is nervous with any form of romantic attention. even though noah’s crush is innocent and she likes him as a friend, she’s not sure how she feels about him yet.

CALLIE CASTILLO, oldest daughter of maria

- estj - model - heterosexual - st judes academy - she’s getting used to not having her former clique around her and doesn’t really know what to do now that her popularity hasn’t translated over into university. she’s really struggling tbh fc: sofia jamora >> CARTER is her boyfriend. for a long time, she still had feelings for peter - his younger brother - but she’s trying so hard to push those aside and focus on them. he’s always been understanding of her, no matter how bitchy she gets. >> BIANCA AND YOUI are her best friends. even though they’re all doing their own things, she considers those two her best friends and it’s been that way since the beginning of high school. >> ADDY is a frenemy. callie used to relentlessly bully addy throughout high school and she still treats her like a bit of an outsider. she lowkey hates seeing addy thriving in LA while she’s still stuck in her hometown. >> PETER C is her ex boyfriend. they’re messy as heck and she’s still not quite over the fact he ultimate chose aurora, her distant cousin.

TAMMY CASTILLO, youngest daughter of maria

- enfp - singer (rosalia) - bisexual (female pref) - gold coast academy - sick of living in calie’s shadow, she’s branched out to get an identity all of her own. she’s your typical party girl type. fc: val mercado >> ALLY is her best friend. they’ve got really close at gold coast and are practically inseparable. >> they were in a long term relationship until he found out that he was a father. this really hurt her and she hasn’t forgiven him, despite still being in love with him.

DELILAH CALLOWAY, daughter of eloise

- istj - actress - bicurious - wilow house academy - she’s the opposite of eloise. eloise let herself be pushed around by her sisters and forgotten about to an extent. delilah has made it clear that she’ll be the trailblazer for the ‘calloways’ in this generation and will happily walk all over her cousins if she has to. fc: sommer ray >> AALIYAH is her best friend. they both met at willow house and delilah took a shine to her confidence. the girls really got along well and they’ve also started to hook up. delilah is bicurious and unsure of her sexuality so relies a lot on aliyah to take the lead. >> ADDY is her cousin. they never grew up in one anothers lives but delilah has always known of her aunts and cousins. the girls have reunited through the talent academy competition and are getting to know each other.

AIDEN NILSEN, son of kristofer - REVAMPED bc i feel like he only existed as haley’s on/off bf.

- infj - model - bisexual - st judes - kristofer moved the family out to los angeles, so aiden is now based there. he still has an incredibly addictive personality. after haley moved out to gold coast, he kind of wiped his hands of her from the time being and has taken on a more artsy/friendly persona but that doesn’t mean he is. fc: willy cartier

>> HALEY is his on-again and off-again girlfriend. their relationship is toxic and when he found out she transferred to gold coast, he’s mainly just looking to rub her face in the fact he’s not with her anymore.

CHESTER JACKSON, son of margo

- esfp - actor - bisexual - blossom bell - he has the same chaotic energy that margo has, but he’s not as much of an asshole :’) he just loves the attention. he was diagnosed with ADHD quite late in life but at this point, he can’t even put it down to that. he went to gallagher and got kicked out in his third year so he probably hasn’t been around for a bit. fc: dylan o’brien >> DIXIE AND FLEUR are family friends. he’s been good friends with dixie for a while and is like a brother figure to her.

SABRINA HUGHES, daughter of ezra

- infp - singer/actress - bisexual - burgundy academy - she was never the cool girl in high school and has always struggled to find her place in social settings. she’s trying to grow her confidence and make an identity for herself but she does get jealous when friends and people close to her get more attention or something that she wanted. fc: halle bailey (i’ll write more when i cbb)

>> BRIELLE is her girlfriend. the two of them are trying to balance a healthy relationship and achieve their own personal dreams.

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timextoxhajima · 3 years

Note

NOO i swear you're not taking any of my time huhu i love talking to you😭😭 tbh i usually have time at nights but i'd rather use them to sleep or watch some tbz content bc my a test every 3 weeks schedule is still going but i have a lot more to do now so i'd usually spent the first 1 weeks with taking as much rests as i can 🥲

and no worries ur not making me feel pressured to reveal myself!!!! im just saying this bc i really wanna be friends w u,, but if i ever leave tumblr then i WILL OFC I WILL TELL U

hehehe yea i love trying new hobbies no matter how bad i may be at them just to find the feeling of joy when i feel like im truly enjoying them, and with writing even when what i write has nothing to do with my thoughts it really help in keeping my minds busy instead of drifting away into bad thoughts🥲🥲 i do video editing too sometimes, photography, but its kinda hard thanks to the pandemic so yeah,,, editing sunwoo video it is for me😭😂 i hope you found ur getaway too!!! or did u already?

I C THE NEW ENHYPEN POST OMG IVE BEEN SEEING THEM A LOT LIKE A WHOLE LOT EVERYWHERE not to mention im also a shawol so i know that ni-ki was one of the shinee kid?? in shinee's japanese concert😭😂 but i havent found the time to know abt the other members yet so--

ANW I RLLY LOVE THAT FOR UU its good that you're getting a lot more comfortable❤️ so does that mean you are currently on a holiday? yea coming back to uni really sucks sometimes i hated it a lot too but these days i've gotten a lot closer to my friends and i miss them so much now that we havent seen each other for months🥲

i'm pretty good! all the preparation has been kinda a lot and my research supervisor has been kinda laterep lately which is making me super anxious most of the time bc i really need to get everything done by august😭😭 but yeah writing has helped me A LOT in shifting my thoughts and making me feel better, i hope i am taking care of myself enough

how about you dana? are you taking care of yourself ? - 🍋🍋

omg just sleep LMAO just fkin sleep it's fine tumblr isn't worth your physical health HAHAHAHHAHA yeah your 3-week test schedule sounds disgustang fam idk how you do it so props to you

omg... tbh photography is a great way to ?? learn about life?? does that make sense lol i started photography in 2013 and now i've shifted more into filming, writing and editing so it was a very nice shift and transition for me. i guess my getaway definitely includes writing fics, i'm on a video production intern right now too so i get to shoot in studios and edit the footage later on. i was supposed to go on a chill photoshoot with a friend but covid said fuck you LMAO but i might get paid to help my freshies do their committee photoshoot at the end of the year so that'll be a blast. i love brainstorming themes for photoshoots and like templating designs - i think i'm an all-rounded creative person, as in into creatives [not boasting about... my creativity] but i definitely love the freedom in expression and i'm starting to realise that i'm picking up every single medium i could possibly utilise to exploit this freedom of expression thing: writing, dancing, filming, photography, creative designs, you name it LOL

yes niki was a shawol!! he went for a tokyo dome concert of shinee's and key hugged him while he cried LMAO he said it was like 2014 or smth which meant that niki was fucken... 9... stanning enha has been a JOURNEY for me because all this while i've been stanning groups that are generally older than me. even with skz jeongin i began to feel a tad awkward because he's younger, and with txt i basically couldn't whole-heartedly stan them because 3/5 of them are younger than me... then you have enha whose maknae is younger than my sister?! like... fam... how... why... am i that old now... omg

yeah i am on holiday! my sem ended in late april and since then i've been pretty much rotting at home, handling my intern projects, writing, learning some choreos for more covers and sobbing over kdramas owo the tissues wasted LMAO i love this break for myself honestly cause the sem was such a shitshow and i lost a friend or two over some nonsense and i had conflict with a couple of others too so while i do miss their nonsense, i really need the time away from these idiots who act like 5 year olds sometimes

omg i hope your supervisor knows not to pressure you too much, like work-life balance is a thing there right... >.>

i'm so happy you're writing that shit out. back before i began to write i felt so suffocated and i can't imagine my life if i didn't go into writing so i'm glad you found this portal to escape, even if it is for a moment!

i'm taking of myself... by keeping myself at home LMAO i haven't seen friends for like... weeks now, which is pretty surprising given the circumstances, because we're not on lockdown and you can still go out in pairs and i've had friends trying to get me out of the house to hang but i'm... so lazy... and frankly just uninterested in a social life now. idk how i shd feel about that, it's like the introvert rlly hopped the fuck out after i spent majority of the past sem acting like an extrovert.

if you consider sleeping at 4am every night taking care of myself then HEY i guess im fit as a pickle HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

#tth.lemonanon

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crownofhearts · 4 years

Text

Transformers OC Asks

This list of questions was submitted by @helliontwins

Thanks for the inquiries about my babies! I hope I was able to answer them well enough!

Hyperwing

Why that name? I understand the wing cus she’s a birb and all.

Hyperwing got her name from the speed at which she flies, as well as her overall personality. She is very outgoing, so I figured “Hyper” was a good connection between her speed and sense of self.

How old is she? From what I’ve seen she’s kind of young seeming but old enough to drink. Would you say she is the equivalent of a 20 year old or…?

She was born/Forged right before the start of the war. This makes her younger than many of the original fighters and a few others, but she got to spend time with Optimus while he was still Orion Pax. However, she spent a long while in stasis, after receiving an injury that nearly destroyed her Spark. Optimus placed her in stasis in an attempt to keep her safe during her recovery, but due to the war her awakening was delayed for a long time. A part of it was Optimus’ hesitation to bring her back online with a war going on, since she is not a combatant. She missed about half of the war, and still has the mental state, capacity, and physical state from before. She is technically old enough to drink, but Ratchet tries to keep her away from it due to the aforementioned time gap. She drinks to mess with him, mainly. Hyperwing was mad at first for missing out on everything, but she cooled down and forgave Optimus eventually. (She has some intense shock after waking up. New people, old friends lost… a whole lot to take in)

How small is she? I see that she kinda itty bitty.

She is smol. She comes up to Bumblebee’s mid-thigh. Hyperwing can sit on Optimus’ Shoulder freely, and while in her alt mode she can perch on the arms and servos of other bots

Is she any good at fighting?

Absolutely not. Mainly due to her size, she is at a serious disadvantage. She usually chooses to defend and fly away. If that is impossible, she attempts to peck at optics or other weak points.

As a courier and with her size does she even really fight?

She never throws the first stone. She is basically forbidden from joining the front lines by Optimus. Does she always listen? Absolutely not and it is giving Ratchet and Optimus helmaches. Hyperwing never wants to leave a bot behind, so if she sees someone in trouble, she will try to cause a distraction for a retreat or to buy time for backup to arrive.

Does she crush on anyone?

Nope! She doesn’t quite understand the whole “romance” thing. Not saying she wouldn’t fall in love eventually, but she was basically raised in a war zone. Not really on her mind.

She seems to love Optimus but is it in the love love way, fatherly, brotherly, or best friend?

He is like her father. Back when he was Orion Pax and she was new to the world, he took her in. Having a beast alt-mode made her an easy target to mistreatment and prejudice, so Hyperwing would have most definitely not lasted long on her own. Since he raised her and taught her to stand tall on her own (as tall as she can with her size), she sees him as a parent. Or the Cybertronian equivalent of a parent.

Rapidstrike

I think i saw you mention how red just didn’t suit him, care to expand what you meant?

Rapidstrike is shy. His self-esteem is extremely low and he hates being the center of attention. Paint jobs that would make him too flashy might give him a heart attack. Red is a walking “hit me” signal. Is softer demeanor contrasts harshly with the war, so the more he can do to avoid attention the better it will be for him. But, I wanted people to look at him and think he was outgoing, which would also contrast his personality. That is why I gave him the colors he has. Monochrome shades with blue and orange is still sleek and looks open, but then you get to the mask and it is grey and purple. Rapidstrike is a walking conundrum, in essence.

How often do people ask if he and HW are related?

Right so this question and the last question are related to a certain anon as I got the other day. However, I recently deleted that answer because I felt like I came off too harsh and I didn’t want to be rude to that anon. That is the first time anyone has asked if they were related, though Rapidstrike was made very recently so there was a short time window to make a connection. But yeah no they have no relation

Why the mask? (I love it btw!)

I won’t go into too much detail right now, but it has to do with his low self-esteem. He was trained with another mech under a polearms master. The Master was very aloof and rarely gave positive feedback, and was not emotionally available. The mech he trained with, who later becomes a Decepticon, had a huge superiority complex and constantly put Rapidstrike down. His self-image was shattered, so he hides behind the mask since he sees himself as disposable, ugly, and weak.

NVM I just found the answer to three. Instead why the design? How did you come up with it?

I went ahead and gave a bit more info anyway J I looked at existing characters for a basis. I chose a Speedster like build, so I studied Drift and Rodimus. I wanted a smooth flow between his different parts so I looked at Chromia and Prowl. Then, I looked at futuristic or high-end motorcycles for the minor details to tie in with his alt form. His mask has the look it does because of the tear-like markings. Because he is a sad boi and since he hides his face, it reflects his inner feelings.

Others

Why is Tangle (Deer Bot Boi) Green? Was it to match scenery? A favorite color of his? Or something else?

I wanted to tie in his design with the plants he loves so much. Also in an old D&D campaign our Ranger befriended a green deer from the Faewild, and when I was designing Tangle, it came back to mind.

Do you have any more info on Nightbright? They are an amazing pallet and I’m curious what they transform into and more about them.

Nightbright is unfortunately still in development! He is an astronomer before the war, but transition to being a dispatcher for the Autobot forces during the war.

If anything has been answered before Sorry for asking a second time! I’m just so in love with all of your Oc’s!

I am glad you like them so much! These questions are actually some of the firsts I have ever gotten for my Transformers characters, so this was really fun to do!

Also do you write about them in fics or rp as them?

Yes to the fics. As for the rp… I have been considering starting an ask/rp blog for Hyperwing and Rapidstrike, as they are the most developed. It would have to be a shared side blog for the two, since I work full time and if I gave them separate blogs I would lose track of everything lol.

#audrey answers #answered ask #oc questions #tf oc #transformers oc

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emperorsfoot · 4 years

Link

This chapter is short and a mess. It doesn’t flow right. I’m pretty sure there are like, million logical errors, and the transitions between the flashback and present don’t feel organic.

But I updated!

And that’s what’s really important, right?

...

A holo-screen, no larger than a standard issue datapad was projected from the armrest of Red Hord’s throne. It should have displayed readouts of the rift. Projecting energy readings from the special anomaly, radiation levels, temperatures, gravitational forces if it had any. Instead, the display was taken up entirely by the face of Hordwing.

“Maintain communications as you pass through.” He was saying.

Red Hord only rested his chin on his fist and allowed his fellow cabinet Lord to voice his concerns as if they were advice from a senior colleague. They couldn’t show it, not in front of brothers of lower rank, but Hordwing was worried about him. Hordwing didn’t want him to go to a shadow dimension they knew next to nothing about that had already trapped one of their brothers since his disappearance.

But, their Emperor, no, their Brother, had ordered Red Hord to go, so he must go.

That did not mean that Hordwing had to be happy about it.

“And be sure to send a signal through the rift every six hours so that the rest of the fleet can monitor your progress.”

“Out of curiosity, if the rift snapped shut behind me and I was trapped in there with Hordak, what could you do?” Red asked him. Equal parts annoyed by the other man’s hovering, and genuinely wanting to know what Wing thought he could do.

Hordwing only frowned at him.

Red Hord smirked back. He liked pointing out to the older man when he was being absurd. It made for a fun dynamic to their relationship.

“Just keep the com open for me.” He growled. Then, in a softer tone, so that only Red Hord could hear, he repeated. “For me, Red.”

With a sigh, Red Hord did leave the com channel open. He leaned back in his throne. “Helm, take us through the rift. We might all go to join the Host, let’s not arrive there an embarrassment.”

“When we go to the Host we’ll go together, Red.” Wing reminded him. “You’re not allowed to die without me.”

“You’re not allowed to choose when I die, Wing.” Red hissed back, keeping his voice down so that none of his own crew could hear him. “Only our Brother may choose when we die.”

Every single screen on the bridge –discounting the one Lord Hordwing was on- displayed the rift. From all different angles. Allowing for wide shots of its complete length and width, with measurements on its size, to close up images where one could see the small details of the fabric of space torn and tattered like actual fabric. Threads and strands of reality irradiated and glowing, drifting on the fluctuations of power that held the rift open.

As the Leather Vest drew closer, the readouts changed to data on their ship. Course heading, hull integrity, radiation shielding. Several alerts climbed into the yellow as they drew nearer. When the nose of the ship passed through, everything went to read. Temperature rising, hull plates heating, radiation shielding weakening. A few of Red’s bridge crew looked back at their Lord, silently asking for permission to turn back.

But, Prime ordered them into the breach. So, into the breach they would go. Come high water or the All High Host.

“Continue on heading.” He commanded.

“What is it?” Demanded Hordwing over the com. He could hear the alerts over the channel, but was not at an angle where he could see anything on the bridge. “What’s wrong.”

“Nothing I imagine isn’t perfectly normal for passing between dimensions.” Red Hord growled. It was kinda nice that Hordwing wanted to maintain radio contact and make sure Red was okay. But did he really have to be so annoying about it? Red Hord wasn’t a hatchling fresh out of the tank! He was a Lord, promoted by Horde Prime himself same as Hordwing. He didn’t need one of his older brothers looking out for him.

The ship gave a shudder as it passed all the way through the rift.

Hordwing’s image on the com screen went fuzzy for a moment. His voice breaking up. “You alri- -Red? –Respond- -what- -appened, Red Hor-?”

The bridge crew scrambled to assess any possible damages. Hull integrity, atmosphere leakage, nitrogen levels. Anything that could indicate fatal damage to the ship. Everything came back just within acceptable limits. A little high. Definitely undress stress and definitely close to the border between ‘Acceptable’ and ‘Danger’. But still just the right side of acceptable. Whatever Prime did with his magic sword to open the rift and ground it so that it stayed open, he also grounded it to make it safe for his forces to pass through.

Red tried adjusting the frequency of his com to try and get a clearer channel out to Hordwing. “All systems normal.” He informed the other man tersely. “I shall message the Emperor with an update within the next six hours.”

“And me, too, Red.” Wing added, voice a low whisper again. “You’ll message me too, right?”

“As the situation allows.” He nodded to the other Lord. Then switched off the com. Then to his helmsman, “We’re through. Put us in a stationary orbit over the planet, then do a scan for 66694-42-003’s signal.”

Damn Zero-Zero-Three. The idiot couldn’t just fuck-off happily to the middle of nowhere. No. He just had to rip open a pimple in time and space to wave at Horde Prime. ‘Hello, Brother! I live! Come find me!’ Damn idiot.

And Hordwing’s –for lack of a better descriptor- clingy behavior was due in part to Zero-Zero-Three.

Red Hord and Hordwing always had an interesting dynamic from the first moment Red was named and promoted to the cabinet. They were very close in age, only one batch apart, but from different crèches. Wing rose through the ranks of the First Division and Red through the Second, so they never actually met face to face until his promotion. They worked together well, easily. Red Hord did not have so easy a time whenever he had to work collaboratively with Hordren or even Hode –and Hode was, in part, the reason he was promoted in the first place!

Then Hode turned traitor.

Wing and Red were there aboard the Velvet Glove when Hode and his Gar partner tried to steal the Sword. Wing was one of the ones that held him down when Prime chopped off his head. Wing was one of the few that got to hear the last thing Hode said to Prime before he died. A statement that shook Wing to his core.

Wing didn’t get the opportunity to process, however, because almost immediately, Hode was replaced by Zero-Zero-Three, whom was named Hordak.

Hordak was also close in age to Red Hord –three batches apart- they did not develop the same kind of easy working relationship that Red enjoyed with Wing. But they did work well together. They might have worked better together if Hordak knew more about Hode. Red so desperately wanted to tell him more about Hode. To confide what he knew to another brother.

Red couldn’t talk to Hordwing, he used to be a wing pilot before he was promoted and pilots had no filter. They talked too much and didn’t know what not to say. Red Hord could not talk to Hordwing. Hordak had been Hode’s favorite. He would have liked to talk to Hordak, but Hode never clued the younger clone into what he was doing. Hode intentionally kept Hordak ignorant. In hindsight, that ignorance was probably what, not only saved Hordak from being executed along with the rest of Hode’s Force Captains, but also allowed him to be promoted to the cabinet.

But then Hordak fainted in a strategy meeting and was immediately stripped of his rank and banished to the front lines.

Red remembered Wing suddenly grabbing his hand and squeezing harder than was necessary when they watched Prime wrap his hand around Hordak’s neck and lift their little brother gasping and wheezing from the floor.

Wing held down one brother while Prime cut his head off, then watched a second brother be lifted in a choke-hold before being cast out. Maybe Wing was the brother he should really tell about Hode. But Wing was also an idiot. A different kind of idiot from Hordak, but still an idiot was an idiot.

After Hordak’s –Zero-Zero-Three’s- banishment, that was when Wing started with the whole, ‘when we go to join the All High Host, we go together’ bullshit. He watched Prime banish one cabinet Lord, a brother of equal rank to his own, for having issues that were the fault of the cloning facility and not the brother’s himself. And he watched Prime kill another brother, also a cabinet Lord, but one with seniority, who has served Prime for years!

Somehow, he got it into his head that either he or Red Hord were going to be next. That the first time either one of them failed, Prime was going to kill them on the spot. Wing did not want to be apart from Red, he had grown very attached to his brother. So, if they were to go to the Host, he wanted them to go together. At the same time.

Red almost rolled his eyes at the thought. Wing didn’t get it. If a brother was executed by Horde Prime, they did not go to join the Host. Traitors and weaklings were unfit to fill the ranks of the Host. Traitors and weaklings did not get an afterlife.

After Hode was unceremoniously executed, Red abandoned him. Abandoned his ideas and his Plan. Moved on. Took everything he knew –really knew- about the older brother and locked in a box. Away, deep in the back of his mind where he didn’t have to think about it. His loyalty returning to where it belonged, to where it always should have been. To Prime. His Brother. Brother to all.

It was stupid anyway. Hode turned out to be an idiot. Only an idiot could think to supplant the Emperor of the Known Universe. That was what happened when you let an alien fuck you in the cloaca. It fucked up your brain too. If Hode hadn’t crawled into bed with that Gar from Eternia none of this would have happened. Zero-Zero-Three never would have ascended to the cabinet, and by extension never been banished, and Red Hord wouldn’t be commanding his ship through a terrifying rift in the very fabric of space to a shadow dimension to collect the idiot for Prime.

Sometimes, Red did wonder how things would be different if Hode had succeeded. What kind of Horde Prime would Lord Hode have been?

…

Four-Zero-Eight looked at the droplets of dark purple blood. Hearing the drip louder than it actually was. Hearing a pounding in his ears. His arms shook with just the effort of holding himself up and his vision swam. For half a moment, his mind failed to register what his Lord was saying.

“You stupid, worthless, incompetent, failure!” Lord Horrin was snarling, saliva spraying from his mouth as he spoke. He was so angry.

He kicked Four-Zero-Eight in the side and the younger clone went tumbling across the hanger floor. What were they doing in the hangar again? Was this even the hangar of the Wool Cardigan? Oh. Right. They were abourd the Vinyl Hood. Lord Hode had to save Horrin’s strike force from a mission gone bad.

“The rebels took Nordor because of you!” Looking around the hanger, Lord Horrin lifted a crowbar that had been left out next to a batwing in mid-repair.

Vision swimming, Four-Zero-Eight barely register his Lord raising the crowbar over his head. He closed his eyes, preemptively wincing at the pain he knew was coming.

But the blow didn’t come.

“That’s enough!”

Four-Zero-Eight opened his eyes, vision still blurred. It took his brain longer than he felt it should have to understand what he was seeing. At first, he thought he must have been saved by a shadow. A figure of darkness grabbing Horrin’s wrist, holding back the blow. But that was insane. Shadows didn’t move like figures. Staring at them, breathing hard, Four-Zero-Eight blinked his nictitating eyelids until his vision cleared enough for the scene to make sense.

It wasn’t a shadow. It was a cape. Long, and black, and hooded. The hood drawn low over the head so that the face was all in shadow. The only thing visible, the crimson glow of his eyes. Lord Hode. Lord of the Third Division, and commander of the Vinyl Hood, the ship they were currently on. Lord Hode stayed Horrin’s hand.

“This is not how you educate a Force Captain that has failed you.” Hode said, voice issuing from the shadows of the hood, sounding as deep and dark as the shadows themselves. Hode had the same voice they all had, Horde Prime’s voice, but –somehow- Hode knew how to manipulate his tone and pitch so make himself sound so different when he wanted to. Hode looked down at Four-Zero-Eight, noting just how severe his injuries were. “This is not how you execute one for failure either.”

Horrin pulled his arm out of the other Lord’s hold. “You do not get to dictate to me how I deal with my own Force Captains, you Old Ghoul!”

“But I do get to dictate what goes on, on my own ship.” Hode replied calmly. “And I dictate that brothers are not to be bludgeoned with crude tools on my hangar floor.” It looked like Horrin was about to respond, but Hode cut him off before he could. “If your Force Captain failed to take the rebel stronghold of Nordor, perhaps it is because you –his superior- did not adequately prepare him for the mission.”

“How dare you-!” Horrin turned to fully face the other Lord.

“How dare you!” Hode snapped back, raising his voice only to match Horrin’s. “You fail in the mission our Brother chose to honor you with. You needed me to save you. Then you come into my ship and get blood all over my hangar blaming a subordinate for your own failure as a commander!” Hode snapped his fingers. “Lord Horrin is tired from his ordeal, Zero-Zero-Three, show him to an officer’s stateroom so he may rest.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

Four-Zero-Eight blinked blurry eyes as a still pillar wearing a dress and a Force Captain’s badge stepped forward to politely escort Lord Horrin out of the hangar.

Hode bent down in front of him, the only thing in focus.

Taloned fingers gently brushed hair out of his face, examining his wounds. “He really did a number on you, little brother.”

Four-Zero-Eight had to spit blood out of his mouth before he could speak. “I am grateful to my Lord Horrin for taking the time to teach me this lesson.”

The words sounded robotic and insincere, even to his own ears. But working in the Second Division under Lord Horrin had thought him what to say and when to say it. Even when he was half delirious. He knew how to get by. He knew how to survive. It was how he was able to rise to become a Force Captain in the first place. Not because he was the best, most skilled, or most competent. It was because he knew how to play their game.

Those glowing red eyes blinked at him from under the darkness of the hood. His response impressing Lord Hode somehow. “My, my, Four-Zero-Eight, you just might be wasted under a Lord like him.”

…

“Lord Red Hord,” a bridge officer pulled him from his reminiscing, “orbit is stable and we have located a signal consistent with 66694-42-003’s. Your orders, sir?”

Red stood from his throne. “Our Emperor wasn’t his little brother returned to him. Let’s go pick him up.”

#entrapdak #ocs #original horde clone #lord hode #hode #red hord #lord red hord #horde prime #evil horde #horde empire #hordak #hordwing #fanfiction #ao3 #RenkonNairu #a song of steel and light

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marshmallow-phd · 5 years

Text

Memories Past

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Supernatural, Wolf Au

Pairing: Kris x Reader

Summary: The last thing Kris wanted was to move on. He was perfectly content wallowing in his misery while pretending everything was okay. But when you come walking into his shop with a broken down car, he realizes the thing he’d been avoiding the most just might be the cure he always needed. He just couldn’t believe that it’d been you all along. Kris had been your best friend when you were kids before he’d moved away without a word of goodbye. Now nearly fifteen years later, you run into him again by pure coincidence. The memories come rushing back to you, stirring something inside. A childhood crush shouldn’t upend your picture perfect life, but sometimes, destiny has other things in mind…

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I Final

“(Y/n), listen to me, please!” Kris had to hold himself back from breaking down the door completely in his desperate attempt to get you to understand. He realized he’d gone about explaining what he was in the wrong way, the wrong order, but you couldn’t just end it. Not like this.

When you refused to even acknowledge his attempts to talk to you, to get you to let him back in so he could explain all of this properly, he stop hitting his fists against the wooden barrier that kept the two of you apart.

Kris stood there, just staring at your door as if by some miracle it would swing open again on its own accord and you’d run into his arms, begging him not to go. But all that came to him were the soft efforts you took to hold back the tears.

You needed time. And as much as the wolf in his chest pawed and clawed at him to break down the door, he knew the best thing for him to do in the moment was to walk away. Maybe after a little while, with you left to figure things out on your own, you’d let him sit down and explain everything to you.

With one last look at your bedroom door, Kris turned and left your apartment.

Every fiber in every muscle of his inhuman being was screaming, fighting to turn back around to you. But Kris controlled himself, getting into his car that was parked out in the street. He had to keep going. He had to give you to time to process what he’d stupidly dumped on you.

Why didn’t he tell you everything before things went this far? Why didn’t he tell you that night under the stars? Or the morning you woke up in his bed at the farmhouse? Those times would have been better. He could have eased into it. Told you about his true nature before dropping the “mate” bomb. Made it seem more like a natural transition rather than an inevitability that he pulled you into.

Barely able to concentrate, Kris sped down the darkened road, needing to put as much distance between the two of you as possible to help quiet the urge to turn back. It didn’t die, but the farther he got, the more he was able to rationalize not pulling a U-turn. As he reached the back road that would lead him to the farmhouse where he could hole himself up for a few days, a sharp pain like a hundred needles stabbed at his heart.

With a yank of the wheel, Kris pulled off to the side of the road, shoving the gear shift in park with a whine from the engine. Clutching his chest, he bent over to try and breathe easier as the pain continued. He knew exactly what this was and it wasn’t good.

“No,” he huffed, the fingernails of his other hand digging into the leather of the passenger’s seat. “It’s not supposed to come on this fast.”

Was it because he was an alpha? Or was it because you so clearly told him that you never wanted to see him again, making the rejection even more apparent?

Seeing Chanyeol in a similar state last winter had scared the hell of Kris, even though he’d put on a good show. He’d tried to be a rock and a sense of encouragement for his brother who was so clearly not okay. It was a whole different story now that he was suddenly forced into that position now.

The physical pain a wolf’s body goes through when rejected by their mate was at an intensity that couldn’t be described with any known injury or torture device. White hot irons could come close, but Kris wouldn’t give those searing rods that much credit. It’s origin was deep within the wolf, coming from nowhere without any warning and no known cure except for the one person who caused it in the first place.

Tap, tap, tap.

Kris jumped at the sudden and unexpected intrusion. Jimmy was somehow waving at him on the other side of the window on the driver’s side, smiling with a little hint of worry in his eyes. How the hell-

Rolling down the window, Kris growled, “Jimmy, what the hell are you doing here?”

“I was on my way back from the races and saw you parked on the side of the road,” Jimmy explained with a lopsided smile. “You all right? It’s like one in morning.”

Kris grunted as he straightened up. “I’m fine. Just headed home.”

Jimmy rubbed a hand over his bald head. “You sure? Anything I can do?”

“I said I’m fine, Jimmy!” Regret hit Kris instantly when he saw how his friend flinched at the harsh reply. He ran a hand through his hair before dropping it down on the steering wheel. “Thanks, man, but really, I’ll be okay. I just need to get home and get some sleep.”

“Okay.” Jimmy tapped his fingers on the door before waving. “I’ll see you later. Don’t forget to call if you need anything.”

“Sure, man,” Kris nodded, pulling the gear shift into drive. “See you later.”

Careful not hit the person who was just trying to help, Kris sped down the road while going at least twenty over. The stabbing pain had subsided, but not Kris’ panic. If your rejection cause the chain reaction with his wolf to come on that fast, how much longer did he have?

Tears spilled over from one of his eyes. Kris quickly wiped it away while sniffing back more. How could he fuck it up so royally in the span of less than a few hours? He had you and then he lost you faster than his best drag time. It was taking him back to losing Jiyoon. But there was no comparison. Jiyoon was gone from this earth and you were still here, visible and touchable, yet out of sight and out of reach of his fingers.

He’d give anything to rewind time and freeze it to that perfect moment.

You’d fallen asleep before him, wrapped up in the sheets and curled up in his arms right against his chest. Your breath tickled the skin over his collar bone, warm and soothing. Kris had caressed the bumps along your spine with his fingertips, memorizing every curve and beautifully perfect imperfection that made up who you were.

It was the most at peace Kris had ever been in his life. In those few minutes before he drifted off to sleep himself, he didn’t have to worry about any outside forces coming to take you away or any past threats coming back to haunt him. He didn’t even have to worry about whether you’d accept him or not. He’d just taken that as a given and therefore taken you being in his arms for granted. For once, he’d allowed himself to just… exist. What a short lived paradise that turned out to be.

Kris didn’t even bother to pull up near the garage when he arrived at the farmhouse, screeching to a halt right in front of the porch. Junmyeon could yell at him later. He was struggling not to collapse right then and there on the grass as he all but crawled out of the car.

Just need to get into the house, he bargained with himself, just get in the house and then you can let it swallow you.

Shuffling his feet and clutching his chest, he made it up the steps and through the door, letting it slam loudly behind him.

The pain had long subsided, but the phantom feeling lingered, leaving him in fear of it flaring up again. Kris tried to keep his face neutral in case he ran into any of the others. He’d almost made it until he reached the bottom of the stairs. Tao nearly bumped into him coming down.

“Ge-ge?” Tao bent at his waist to try and get a better look at Kris, who was twisting to try and avoid showing off his red eyes and aching expression. “What happened? Where have you been?”

“It’s nothing, Tao,” Kris growled, keeping his head down. There was no way to get up the stairs without shoving the younger wolf out of the way and Tao was too sensitive to not take it personally. “I just need to get some rest.”

Tao was not going to let it go. “You look bad, Kris. Is there-”

“Just drop it!” Kris snapped, nearly snarling at his poor brother that just wanted to help. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I’m just tired and need to be alone right now. I’ll explain later.”

He wasn’t sure if he’d actually be up for telling anyone the scene he’d just been forced to play out, but he knew he’d have to tell his pack eventually, in case- Not now. Not in this state.

To Kris’ relief, Tao nodded and stepped out the way, watching his alpha trip up the stairs with concerned eyes.

Your tears had dried out after only a few minutes. A headache was forming behind your eyes so, with wobbly legs, you pushed yourself up to your feet and opened your door. The apartment was empty, tauntingly so. You didn’t think Kris would trick you into thinking he’d left, but then again, you didn’t really know him, did you?

Shuffling over to your medicine cabinet in the kitchen, you pulled out the bottle of aspirin and popped two into your mouth, swallowing them dry.

With the new bout of information you’d just received, you couldn’t be alone with your thoughts. You needed to talk to someone, but the first person that came to your mind was also the person you didn’t want to see right now. Or maybe ever again.

Kris was the entire reason your life had been up ended from the scenic path it’d been on. You were perfectly content before he’d shown up. You’d put the part of your life that had involved him behind you and were happy for the future that you’d been envisioning and planning on. Hell, maybe you and Huan could have even worked through and compromised on your issues if he’d never come along. That’s what normal relationships were about, weren’t they?

And yet, you never had that chance because something decided that you and Kris were a better match. And why? Because you were friends almost two decades ago? That wasn’t fair. Where was your freedom to choose who you belonged with?

An epiphany hit you as you were trying to work your way around your receding headache to make your thoughts line up coherently. There was one person in the world that you were sure knew exactly what you were going through. She’d practically said so herself.

Hesitantly, you made your way to the living room where you’d left your cell phone on the coffee table when Kris had shown up. Sitting down on the sofa, you stared at the phone, debating.

Minseok knew Kris, according to Ji Yeon. You’d even seen them in the same group that night Kris had found you on the boardwalk. Then Ji Yeon confirmed that they knew each other enough for Minseok to know that you were Kris’ engaged friend he’d talked about.

What if they didn’t just know each other? What if Minseok was like Kris? Ji Yeon talked about how she, too, was seeing someone before Minseok came into her life. What if it was because this… mate thing had happened to her too?

The memory of first meeting Ji Yeon played in your mind. She’d shown you pictures on her camera of a particularly friendly wolf, one that seemed too aware of the camera, too intelligent to be an ordinary animal. She’d practically panicked when you pointed out how the wolf seemed to be posing for her.

Unsure if you’d even be able to speak, you simply sent a text to Ji Yeon asking if she was free to come over. With how late it was in the night, you didn’t think you’d get an answer. If not, then you’d call her in the morning. After only a minute or so, however, you received a reply simply containing a yes and an additional question that inquired if you were okay. You answered with only your address and then you waited.

Ten minutes went by before the tell-tale knock came at your door. Sighing, you stood up and opened it up for Ji Yeon.

“Hey, what’s going on?” she asked as she removed her shoes and stifled a yawn. You must have woken her up, but she came anyway. For that, you were thankful.

You stood there and watched her with an empty feeling inside, mulling over where to start. Your exhausted brain decided to just go the blunt route. “Did you know about Kris?”

Ji Yeon froze in her half-bent position, giving you the exact answer you were expecting. Straightening up, she frowned at you. “What do you mean?”

“Is Minseok like Kris?” you countered instead.

There was a mild standoff as neither of you spoke, staring at each other. But you weren’t going to let it go or back track. Not this time.

“He finally told you,” Ji Yeon stated with a whisper. There was no question in her voice. The two of you knew exactly what the underlining subject was and there was no need to beat around the bush now.

You swallowed thickly. “You knew the whole time, didn’t you? What Kris was?”

She nodded. “Yes. I’ve always known what Kris is. What all of them are. But it wasn’t my place to say anything.”

“I thought you were my friend!” you snapped. Apparently, your tear ducts had refilled as new pools of water were filling your bottom lids once again as your fists curled by your side, your fingernails digging into your skin. “Shouldn’t I have a right to know why I’m suddenly not in love with my fiance anymore?”

“I couldn't tell you!” Ji Yeon shouted back. “I’m not allowed to! Only the wolf can tell his mate! That’s how it is!” Stepping up to you, she took hold of your shoulders, looking you in the eye. “Listen, (y/n). I understand what you are going through. Nearly two years ago, I was you. It’s confusing, at first. You’ll be angry for a little bit, but eventually you’ll understand why he chose to do things the way he did. They have to keep their secret and there’s no easy way to bring that subject up. The mate bond isn’t exactly something the average human goes through.”

You sniffed, hating how right she sounded. “But he still should have told me before sleeping with me.”

Ji Yeon flinched back, letting you go. “Okay. That I can’t help but agree with. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of things going in that order before.” Her eyes searched around the apartment. “Where is Kris? Did he leave to give you some space?”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you scratched at your scalp. “No…. I kind of threw him out.”

“W-what?” Ji Yeon’s mouth dropped in horror. “(y/n), what exactly did you say to him?”

Now you felt a little ashamed at what you had done in anger. You stared down at the floor. “After he told me about being… mates and how that was the reason Huan and I broke up, I told him I didn’t want to ever see him again.”

Ji Yeon practically pounced on you, squeezing your upper arms painfully. “Please, tell me you didn’t actually do that!”

“I was angry!” you yelled. “I wasn’t given a choice in my own life! What else was I supposed to do?”

“You don’t get it, (y/n),” she groaned. “If a wolf is rejected by their mate, they die!”

No.

As angry as you were, as hurt as you were and as much as you didn’t want to see Kris, you didn’t want to live in a world where he didn’t exist.

Your knees buckled under you and Ji Yeon wasn’t strong enough to keep you upright, sending you both to the hardwood floor.

Now you were really crying. To the point where breathing was nearly impossible. This was all too much. Too much to soak in, too much responsibility for you to handle.

“That’s not fair,” you croaked out as Ji Yeon rubbed your back. “I don’t get a choice at all? Why do I have to be forced to be with someone? Why do I have to be the reason they live or die? Who decided that was the right thing to do?”

“(Y/n), look at me,” Ji Yeon urged. Wiping away the tears so your vision was no longer blurry, you obeyed. A small, crooked smile was her lips. How could she be so calm right now? “All the mate bond does is bring you to the person that you would be the happiest with, the person who will protect you and love you like no one else. That’s all. Besides, do you really think that you couldn’t be happy with Kris?”

“That’s not the point,” you whimpered. “The point is that I should have the option to choose Kris. But I didn’t get that.” You sniffed, fearing the answer of your next question. “Is he already dead, then?”

Ji Yeon shook her head. “No. It doesn’t happen that fast. He has time. You have time to change your mind.”

“I feel backed into a corner,” you whispered. “I don’t know what to do. I’m still so angry. I still don’t want to see him. I don’t want that life.”

“I’ll stay with you tonight,” Ji Yeon volunteered. “I don’t think you should be alone right now. If you have anymore questions, I’ll answer them for you.”

You nodded, grateful that she offered before you had a chance to ask. But that would have to wait until morning. Right now, you just wanted to go back to sleep and shut your mind off. You couldn’t make a rational decision right now. You were too exhausted and confused. Your heart was being torn in two. You hated Kris - you hated the lies and the way you felt manipulated - but you also loved him. You just weren’t sure how real that love was.

#exo #exo fanfiction #exo fanfic #exo wolf au #exo wolf!au #exo werewolf au #exo werewolf!au #exo supernatural au #exo scenarios #exo series #kris wu x reader #kris wu #wu yifan #Memories Past #untamed wolf universe

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angstmatsuscenarios · 5 years

Note

CAN YOU PLEASE WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT TRANS!ICHI DEALING W DYSPHORIA OR SOMETHING PLS

I’m sorry this is so late!! Truth be told I was concerned about writing this one, about depicting it accurately, but I was given some advice and suggestions and did my best with it. If anything is depicted incorrectly, or if this makes anyone too uncomfortable, please message me to let me know.

Also, note–bathhouses in Japan are typically divided by men and women, and since this is set before Ichi really begins transitioning he wouldn’t be able to use the bath his brothers use. I hope that clears things up.

“Ichi? You sure you don’t wanna go to the bathhouse with us?”

Ichimatsu glanced up from where he sat scrunched up on one corner of the couch. Jyushimatsu hung in the doorway of the living room, watching him with a small, close-mouthed smile. An understanding smile that implied he wasn’t being pressured into going–though of course Ichimatsu knew his younger brother missed going there with him.

Even so, Ichimatsu shook his head. “Nah. I’m just going to shower here. You guys go ahead.”

“Okay…” Jyushimatsu paused as if about to say something, but then all he said was, “See you soon, Ichi.”

Ichimatsu just grunted and gave a nod in response. Jyushimatsu then followed after the other brothers already walking out the door, and shut the door behind him with an over-exuberant slam.

Once alone, Ichimatsu sighed heavily. He didn’t know why Jyushimatsu had bothered to ask him again tonight about joining them, not when it had been two months since he’d last accompanied them to the bathhouse. He didn’t know when he would again, or if. And although he’d explained to his brothers the reason why and they’d been supportive of it…he knew they probably didn’t understand as much as he’d hoped.

The truth was, he’d hated going to the bathhouse for a long time before he eventually decided to stop going. He despised watching his brothers disappear into the men’s locker room, heading for the men’s bath. He wanted to join them. But instead he was stuck, panic building up in his chest at the prospect of going to the women’s bathhouse instead.

Ichimatsu wrapped his arms around himself, digging his fingernails hard into his arms. He knew it was safer, and that no one in that bathhouse would look at him like he didn’t belong, or even give him a second glance at all. But knowing that didn’t make him feel better, and it didn’t erase the anxiety and discomfort he experienced just being there. It was enough to make him rush through his bath, just so he could put his clothes back on and try to stop thinking about it, so he didn’t have to look at himself or have anyone else look at him for too long.

Somehow, for a long time, he forced himself to keep going. But it never got better—he didn’t expect it to, it only got worse. It spiraled to a point where he would start having panic attacks whenever they went to the bathhouse. The first time it happened, he wasn’t entirely sure what was going on with him, only that it had suddenly become hard to breathe and that he was freaking out more and more they closer they got, not even wanting to step foot into the building. The very thought of going into the locker room, of being looked at, had set his heart racing manically. It had been terrifying, though luckily Choromatsu had recognized what was going on and stayed outside with him, coaching him with his breathing until the world stopped feeling like it was spinning out of control. That night, he didn’t enter the bathhouse, and instead went home and went right to bed. When the same thing started happening every other time he tried to go there, he ceased his visits to the bathhouse completely.

He knew the reason for these attacks. Being at the bathhouse and being apart from his brothers when he didn’t want to be made him far too uncomfortable. But even though he avoided it now for the good of his mental health…it didn’t help him feel much better. Every night he watched his brothers leave without him, even though he knew they’d rather have him come along, it only served as a reminder of all the reasons he wouldn’t go with them. He didn’t want to be left out, but that’s how he’d feel if he went anyway, not being able to join them in the same bath.

He wished it were different. He wished he looked the same as his brothers, then maybe he wouldn’t feel so anxious and miserable. He hated not being the same as them, because even if they treated him like he was, he knew he wasn’t, not the way he wanted to be. This whole bathhouse problem was proof of that, among several other things.

He sighed heavily to himself, finally bringing himself to stand up and shuffle upstairs. He didn’t want to think about this anymore tonight, though he knew it’d take forever for his brain to finally shut up.

He took a shower and dressed in his pajamas as quickly as possible, then rolled out the futon and crawled in. He closed his eyes and willed himself to fall asleep, hoping his brothers would be courteous and try not to disturb him when they finally returned home. It took awhile, but at last he drifted into a troubled slumber.

It was a cycle he’d repeated for a long time now, a cycle that as far as he was aware, would continue indefinitely. A cycle he was growing to dislike more and more each day, but didn’t know how to break.

#osomatsu san #osomatsu san angst #ichimatsu #trans ichimatsu #transgender character #dysphoria

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deejadabbles · 5 years

Text

Not Quite Unrequited Yami x Reader Chapter 5

Five: Slipping Up

One //// Two //// Three //// Four //// Five //// Six //// Seven

Summary: Yami would do whatever it took to keep his friendship with you intact, even if it meant putting on a smile and pushing his love for you aside. You knew Yugi loved Anzu, but getting over your feelings for him was hard, especially when time made feelings for another best friend arise.

AU where Duel Monsters is just a (vastly popular) card game and Yami and Yugi are twins. This is a fic I’ve already posted this on my AO3 but I wanted to spread the Yu-gi-oh x Reader love here on tumblr.

A.N: I’m sorry I forgot to post the rest of the chapters here! I promise I’ll post them now, so that any of you who found it here can finish the series ^^’

The transition from winter to spring was not going well. One day it was chilly enough to need a thick coat, the next it was sunny and only called for a light flannel. Today was one of the latter, and the P.E. teachers had decided that it was plenty warm to send their students out of the gym and onto the track fields and tennis courts outside. Groups had been made within the classes and said groups were making rounds to different ‘activities’, which left the Mutou brothers currently running and vaulting across the track.

Yami always seemed to excel at the physical sides of school, but today was a surprising exception. His legs felt like weights had been tied to them and his skin felt cold against the not quite warm enough air, though he was sweating plenty. He even let out a heavy sigh of relief when the teacher told them they could take a small respite before doing their last laps.

“Hey, Yami, you okay?” Yugi placed his hand on his brother’s back as the young man in question leaned against the table laden with drinking water for the students.

His knuckles were notably white as he gripped the table, but he managed to send some reassurance his brother’s way as he grabbed a towel and rubbed it against his damp face “I’m fine, Aibou, just not feeling at my best today I think.”

Yugi gave an unconvinced hum, but let it go, instead getting a cup of water for him. Yami accepted it with gratitude and hoped the refreshing liquid would help. After downing the water, however, his eyes drifted across the grounds and, as they always seemed to do, found you in the crowd.

Your group had also been given a break from the volleyball court it seemed because you were leaning against the chain link fence with Anzu and Jonouchi as you all caught your breaths. Even with your hair ary and face flushed he was still taken with your beauty, he didn’t think he’d ever get over how cute you are. Apparently, you were not feeling nearly as cold as him because you were fanning yourself profusely. Yami watched as Jou got a mischievous grin on his face and turned to say something to you, weighing his bottle of water in hand. He must have been joking about cooling you off because he started to try and dump the last of the bottle’s contents on your head, but you jerked back so suddenly that it splashed down your face and shirt instead. You stared at the offending party in wide-eyed shock while Anzu smacked him on the back of the head, though you ultimately started to laugh it off.

Well, Yami’s clammy skin had left him feeling cold before, so the sudden heat prickling across his flesh was almost a blessing. Almost. He scolded himself for watching the water droplets move across your skin, and the way the now wet shirt- no, NO, NO! Yami forced himself to look away- then turn away from the scene all together. He couldn’t help the way his mind raced with these sudden fantasies, but he could at least deny himself the sight that had enticed them. It didn’t feel right to think of those things when you were one of his best friends, it felt like he was violating you somehow. He gave another mental thank you when the teacher told them to get back on the field and finish their laps. Yes, anything to take his mind off its current course, besides, the physical exertion would do him much good right now.

The running was bad enough on his current lack of physical prowess but he was determined to keep up his game when it came to the vaulting beams, even if his body was protesting every step closer to them. Four beams, he could handle that. He leaped over the first easily enough, then the second with only a small painful effort. By the third he felt a harsh tingling starting in his nose, oh no, just one more, he just had a little farther to go! He started to jump- but let out a body wracking sneeze that caused him to lose his balance. His foot caught on the vault beam and his face made painful contact with the hard ground.

His awareness of the world around him must have flickered for a few moments because he was barely aware of Yugi calling out to him, before a whole group of people were crowding around his prone form. He just felt so damn dizzy- and tired! He tried to focus on Yugi’s voice, as he knew his brother was saying something to him, asking if he was alright. Yami rose to his knees, at least wanting that much of his dignity back as Yugi knelt beside him.

“I’m fine, Yugi, just need to get my bearings” he tried to assure. Then he felt someone else crouch down beside him and the voice of an angel called out to Yami.

“You hit the ground pretty hard, Yami, let me and Yugi take you to the nurse!”

He looked around and met your eyes, their depths so full of concern, concern for him. A lump quickly formed in his throat, and he just as quickly swallowed it, scrambling to reply without his scattered brain or hot face making him stutter.

“No- that’s alright, I’ll be fi-”

“What’s going on here?” the firm tone of the PE teacher broke through the gathered students and said bodies parted way for him so he could take stock of the situation. “Mutou, you okay? Your nose broken?”

Before the Mutou in question could answer, the younger bearer of that name took it upon himself “Yami hit the ground pretty hard, and he says he’s not been feeling well all day, I think he should go to the nurse's office.”

The large man actually seemed to readily agree with Yugi, almost instantly nodding his head and addressing you, again, before Yami could get a word in. “Escort him to there, will ya? You two should have enough time to get there and out before the next class, if Mutou isn’t sent home that is.”

By now Yami saw little point in arguing, not only did his body feel as clammy as ever, but you had already risen to your feet and held out a hand for him to take, eyes still filled with worry. Wordlessly, he took your hand and let you walk with him to the school infirmary.

Logically he knew it wouldn’t have taken long to get there, but he was looking forward to a chance to sit down more than he would ever admit. You didn’t say much on the way there, besides asking how long he hadn’t felt well, which he answered honestly. Unfortunately, when you two entered the room, no one was there. The school nurse must have stepped out, though that did not stop you from giving him a firm order to sit down on a cot and rest.

“What are you doing?” he asked when you started opening the cabinets, obviously on a mission. If the nurse came back and found you unlawfully going through the supplies, there would be serious trouble.

“You nose probably isn’t broken, but I can see some bruising already, I’ll just find you some tylenol for now and the nurse can give her full prescription when she actually gets here.”

You had found what you were looking for with a triumphant ‘ah ha’ and came back to his bedside with two of the painkillers and a glass of water. He still wasn’t sure the nurse would like you taking matters into your own hands, but something about the look in your eyes made him very reluctant to deny you. Was it odd that the firm, almost demanding look laced in worry made his chest feel light in a way that had nothing to do with his weakened state?

After he obeyed and took the medicine, you sat down beside him. “You’re looking pretty pale, I hope she decides to let you go home for the day.”

“I already said I’ll be alright, I’m just not feeling well today, that’s all. I don’t need to go home, I-” he stopped himself, took a deep breath “I can make it through the day, besides, I’ll have all weekend to rest after today” he smiled at you, needed to do whatever he could to put your concern at ease. “Thank you for worrying, but I’ll be fine now that PE is over.”

You responded with a small snort of laughter, likely finding his wanting to skip over the last of that particular class amusing. “Just don’t give me more reason to worry, got it?” you leaned into his shoulder, giving it a playful bump.

Your pose lingered there for a bit, longer than was necessary, so close he could feel the warmth of your exhales. Unfortunately, before Yami could analyze it much at all, you leaned back and hopped off the cot. Making your way over to the closet you opened the door and started rummaging through it.

“What are you doing now?” he asked, near incredulous.

“Jonouchi decided to dump his water all over me earlier and my wet clothes are making me cold, figured I’d try to find a jacket or something to put on until I can change.”

Damn. Just when he thought his frenzied mind was far from that... interesting imagery.

Yami was dying. Or at least this hellacious flu brought on by the spring made him feel like he was dying. Nose stuffy, head aching, every inch of his skin feeling clammy and raw- the vulnerability of it all made him want to scream! He quelled the urge, at least trying to take this as anything better than a pouty, grumpy child.

“Here’s some more tissues,” Yugi said putting that, a jar of vapor rub and a clean thermometer on his bedside table. “Gramps is getting your hot tea now.”

“Thank you” Yami groaned, wary of his brother’s proximity, lest he get sick as well.

As their grandfather came in with the promised warm drink Yugi’s phone went off. “Hey, this might cheer you up, you know who is coming by later to check on you.”

The almost singsong tone in Yugi’s voice made Yami peek out from under his pile of blankets. He showed him the text on the phone, your name at the top of the chatbox. If his face wasn’t blotched red from the fever, it certainly was now. He could hear your voice clearly in his mind as he read the text: ‘Oh my gosh he’s sick?! I knew there was a bigger reason why he was feeling off yesterday. Yami must be so miserable right now, poor thing! I’ll come by later today if that’s okay, I want to see how he’s holding up.’ The text was so full of concern, so sweet, so precious- he couldn’t take it! With a groan he pulled the covers over his head, praying the flu took him to the grave before the heat in his face set him on fire. Alright, maybe the flu was making a tad over dramatic- but still!

“Hm? What was that, who’s coming by?” Grandpa asked. When Yugi showed him the text screen as well, a smile grew on the old man’s face. “Oh ho ho! Isn’t that sweet, I swear when are the two of you going to start dating?”

“Not you too, Grandpa…” Yami sighed from under his blanket cocoon.

“I know a good thing when I see it, Yami. Just you wait, the two of you will be together eventually, I know it,” the man threw Yugi a wink before leaving the room.

“Well, Gramps and I need to go open the store up” the younger Mutou boy informed, “I’ll come back up to check on you in a bit, call me if you need anything before then though.”

Thanking his brother once again before he left, Yami finally reemerged from under the covers, just enough to start sipping the hot cup of tea. You were coming by later, he wasn’t sure what to do about that. On one hand, his heart gave a little happy flutter at the idea that you were so worried about him, on the other he despised the idea of you seeing him in such a horrible state. After some time to stew in the thought, the pro of the two won out. You were concerned for him and wanted to stop by, risk getting sick yourself all so you could see him. He could stand being this vulnerable around you, he supposed.

He just prayed his fever wouldn’t make him do something stupid. He had been slipping up around you lately, and he was terrified that you were starting to catch on to his feelings. New Years where you had kissed his forehead, making him a blushing mess though still not resisting the urge to kiss your cheek in response. That day where he had made you brownies with just the thought of seeing you smile pushing him to do it. Letting his mind wander and his face flush when you landed on top of him on the couch or just like the incident the day before. He was trying so hard to keep his true feelings for you a secret, but he was slipping up more and more it seemed.

Heaving a sigh garbled by his stuffy nose, Yami pulled the covers up to his chin, clearing his mind and setting it straight through the slight haze of his fever in preparation for your arrival. He must have nodded off at some point, because before he knew it Yugi was back to check on him…and to inform him that you were on your way, with that sly grin on his face.

Yami spent the next five minutes trying to be a least a shade or two more presentable: washing his face with warm water, hiding away the bin full of used tissues, changing out of his sweaty shirt and into a clean pj top. Then a knock at the door made him jump and dive under the covers, smoothing them out over his lap as your sweet voice called to him from the other side.

“Yami? Yugi said you were awake from your nap, can I come in?”

“Y- YES” his voice came out as a watery high pitched screech and quickly cleared his throat, trying again “Come on in.” Damn this cold all to hell.

You opened the door and he saw you holding a bowl in one hand as you stepped inside his room. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

He gave a noncommittal shrug, not trusting his voice to give a verbal response, instead indicating for you to sit down in the desk chair next to his bed.

“I brought you some soup” you declared with a smile, lifting the bowl, “Yugi said you haven’t eaten since this morning and might be hungry again so I went ahead and warmed it up for you.”

“Oh- thank you. That was very thoughtful,” heat was already rising on his face, at least he could blame it on the fever.

You took the seat next to him, stirring the steaming contents of the bowl before handing it over. The sudden image of you feeding him played in his mind, but he beat the thought away the moment it popped in.

As he waited for his spoon full to cool he said, “You didn’t have to come by, I’m worried I might make you sick.”

You waved the comment off “It’s fine! I’ve already had my flu shot for the season and it’s not like I’m going to let you sit here and suffer without any company.”

He gave you a gentle smile before downing the first spoon of soup. “Hm, it tastes wonderful. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until now, so again, thank you.”

He noticed your cheeks turn a little pink as you averted your eyes, mumbling a quiet ‘you’re welcome’. How Could Someone Be So Cute!? His hand had gone a little slack from the sudden flutter in his chest as he watched you, and the soup came dangerously close to spilling all over him.

“Hey careful” you warned with a chuckle as you put your hand over his, helping him right the bowl “Need me to get you a tray?”

“No it’s fine,” he insisted, finding his mind going more fuzzy the closer your proximity became.

He heard you mutter about how warm he was, but was keeping his composure by focusing on crossing his legs so he could set the bowl in the dip the position made.

“When was the last time you checked your temperature?” you asked as you leaned back into your seat. He instantly missed the warmth of your closeness.

“This morning, it was a little high, but not terrible.”

You gave a little hum “We won’t be able to get an accurate read with that hot soup in your mouth, but you should check it again soon.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted “besides my head feeling light and somehow stuffed at the same time, and constantly having to blow my nose, it’s not that bad.”

It was a bit of a lie, but he didn’t want to worry you. You did not bother hiding your skepticism, casting him a frown and raised eyebrow. Then, between him taking bites, you leaned forward and placed the back of your hand on his forehead. Your fingers were cool against his hot flesh and he instantly closed his eyes at the soothing sensation.

“Hm, you feel really hot to me. After you’re done eating I’m taking your temperature.”

For a fleeting second, he wanted to tell you that the fever was only half of the problem, but he bit his lip. Opening his eyes just a little he turned to you, not resisting the urge to lean further into your touch.

“You don’t have to worry so much,” it came out as a whisper, hopefully you would assume his voice was simply hoarse from the cold. “I told you I’m okay.”

To his pleasure you didn’t pull away. You moved your fingers along his temple, brushing some bangs from his face before resting your hand on his cheek. He came so close letting out a little moan at how good it felt.

When you spoke your tone was just as quiet, as intimate, as his had been “I’m your friend, Yami. Of course I’m going to worry about you, it’s my job.”

The silence hung there for just a moment and he debated taking the risk of kissing your palm as a thank you. A simple act that would admit to nothing and everything at the same time.

But, the moment was ruined when he felt a sneeze coming on. He turned away, his face scrunching up as he scrambled for something to cover his nose. He grabbed the box of tissues- and promptly sneezed into the opening, not having time to grab an individual tissue.

Well, that was embarrassing. It could have been worse, he supposed. He wasn’t sure what he would have done if he hadn’t turned away in time and sneezed on you. As he drew back, contemplating how he would have to extract the now ruined top few tissues from the box, he heard you give a little snort. Then burst into a fit of giggles. He looked over and saw you covering your mouth in an attempt to stifle the laughter.

“You poor thing,” you said after the fit died down. Then you looked at him with that soft, sweet, fond gaze. “Your nose must be pretty sore, I’ll go get you a hot washcloth, that usually helps my stuffy nose.”

You rose and made for the kitchen, leaving him alone. He was such a mess, and not just because of the cold. He was slipping up around you more and more, and then there were moments like that, where you brushed your fingers along his skin. Moments where, for just a second he thought maybe, just maybe you could feel the same way about him. But he warned himself against hoping, it hurt enough just thinking you didn’t feel that way, it would crush him if it came down to you having to outright tell him you didn’t.

But then, maybe a part of him wanted to slip up, show you hints of his true feelings in the hopes that you would see that side of him, and start seeing him as someone worthy of your heart and affection. Even if you didn’t feel that way about him now, maybe if you saw that side of him, feelings could grow. If that was the case, then he didn’t know what to do. Either way, his continued slip-ups could only end in one of two ways: heart-wrenching rejection or his desires being realized.

What was he going to do?

#yami x reader #atem x reader #yugioh x reader #yami #yami mutou #yami yugi #ygo #shamless fanfic #series: not quite unrequited

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lifechurchgb · 5 years

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The Book of James

I have been hearing a lot of great feedback about the series of messages we’re in on James. It’s been an easy series to write because I’m just letting the scriptures speak for themselves. It’s however not been an easy series to preach, because I’m letting the scriptures speak for themselves. James is an incredibly practical book while simultaneously being an incredibly provocative book. It’s challenging isn’t it? I only have one regret when it comes to this series. I wish I had more time to go through it. Planning is really important to me so I try plan my preaching schedule well in advance. I gave myself 7 weeks to journey through James – I wish I had given myself more. With that thought in mind I am going to periodically jump over sections of the book on Sundays but I will supplement those times by writing an article or blog about the portions that have been passed over. Today I want to come out of James 2:1-11 and talk to you about Judgment & Favoritism. I pray that God will use these words to continue to challenge you from His Word.

Have you ever been judged? Of course you have. And, none of us like it. No one likes being sized up. No one likes being analyzed or criticized or categorized. Yet, we do it every day. We size people up. We look at people and affix an endless number of labels to them. We judge what people wear, what they drive, how they walk, the size of their waistline, how they wear their hair. The list of examples could go on and on. This is a serious problem in our culture, and it was during James culture as well. So much that James takes this topic head on. I want to look at what Pastor James has to say about judgment & favoritism as well as what his older brother Jesus had to say as well. Let’s start with James.

Look at how Chapter 2:1-11 reads in the New Living Translation:

“1 My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others? 2 For example, suppose someone comes into your meeting dressed in fancy clothes and expensive jewelry, and another comes in who is poor and dressed in dirty clothes. 3 If you give special attention and a good seat to the rich person, but you say to the poor one, “You can stand over there, or else sit on the floor”—well, 4 doesn’t this discrimination show that your judgments are guided by evil motives? 5 Listen to me, dear brothers and sisters. Hasn’t God chosen the poor in this world to be rich in faith? Aren’t they the ones who will inherit the Kingdom he promised to those who love him? 6 But you dishonor the poor! Isn’t it the rich who oppress you and drag you into court? 7 Aren’t they the ones who slander Jesus Christ, whose noble name you bear? 8 Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” 9 But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law. 10 For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God’s laws. 11 For the same God who said, “You must not commit adultery,” also said, “You must not murder.” So if you murder someone but do not commit adultery, you have still broken the law.”

I don’t think there’s anyone who would be reading this blog who hasn’t thought about judgment. However, many of our thoughts on judgment have focused on the effect it has on others. We’ve likely considered the lasting hurt our judgment has inflicted on others, but James has an interesting angle on this issue. James considers the effect judgment has on us – the actual source of the judgment. He lets us in on an insight that I have never considered. When I judge someone, it actually creates more pain on me than it does on the person I am judging. Many times, when you judge someone they have no idea you’re judging them at all. Judgment has a lot to do with assumptions. We assume things we have no idea about.

Years ago I had an amazing kid in my youth ministry. Even to this day there have been few people God has placed under my leadership who have more natural talent or potential. He had a clear call on his life to serve God in full-time ministry. He dove into serving in our youth services and on our service teams. He acted in dramas and served as an intern to Sonny & I. I was so excited to see him growing and striving to fulfill his potential. I served at that church for a few years before I transitioned to another church to serve as their youth pastor. When I left the church this young man was in he almost immediately took several steps backward. Before long he wasn’t attending church at all. It took a few years but I was finally able to connect with him and got to ask him why he wasn’t serving God anymore. His answer caught me a bit off guard. He told me point blank – “It’s because of you.” I didn’t even know how to respond other than to ask him what I had to do with it. I had mentored him. I had spent countless hours pouring into him. I loved him like a little brother. He went on to tell me that I had told him I was going to be at his church forever, but the minute an opportunity was presented for me to go work at a bigger church with a bigger youth ministry I broke my promise and walked away leaving him and his friends in the rear view mirror. He felt like I was a fake and a hypocrite. What my young friend did was make an assumption about my actions. He judged my motives based upon my actions. He had no idea what went into me making that decision from my end. The truth was, I wanted to serve as the youth pastor at his home church my whole life, but unfortunately that decision was not left entirely up to me. When my Senior Pastor retired after leading the church for 30 years, a younger Pastor from another state was brought in to lead the church and that Pastor had a team of his own that he wanted to lead with. I was given my notice to find another place of ministry. In case you’re not catching my drift, I was fired. I hadn’t communicated that fact to the students or the church because I wanted to protect their view of the new Pastor. I didn’t want their view of him to be hindered by their love of & loyalty to me. When I explained that to my young friend years later he understood, but it had cost him years of hurt and disappointment and unfortunately had changed the trajectory of his life. The point is, by making an assumption about me and judging my actions, he hadn’t brought any hurt to me, he only brought hurt to himself.

Dr. Jim Richards defines judgment as; “Assuming to know why someone did what they did or said what they said.” Knowing what happened is an observation; trying to figure out why it happened takes us into the realm of judgment. We have to be able to separate facts from the presumed motive.

What does Jesus say about Judgment & favoritism?

In Matthew 7:1-5 He says;

“1 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. 3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

It’s so much easier for me to see your speck than it is for me to see my log. It’s natural for me to see what’s wrong with you, while hoping you don’t see what’s wrong with me. I want you to view me as perfect because I not only judge you, I also judge myself. I want you to look at me like I’m perfect because of my own understanding of my deficiencies. I make the assumption that, if you knew about me what I know about me, you may not want to know me at all. I am judging myself right out of my own reality and our potential relationship. If I can see what’s wrong with you maybe it’ll be a relief for what’s wrong with me. Unfortunately, we don’t only judge others and judge ourselves, we also judge God. We try to assume to know why He did what He did. When something bad happens to us or someone we care for, we immediately begin to ask why He caused it, or in the very least why He allowed it to happen? When we assume God’s motives we put ourselves into a position of judgment or authority over Him. We fail to remember that God has but one motive. God’s only motive is Love. His only motive is good. His ways are higher than ours, His view is higher than ours. He sees the end from the beginning. He understands the outcome when we don’t. We simply can’t judge His motive when we don’t have all the facts.

So, a question arises; what do we need to do? How do we stop? How do we stop judging others, ourselves & our God? I wanna give you:

4 Things To Combat Judgment In Our Lives

Here’s the first. We need to…

Value People

Philippians 2:3 says;

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves”

The great theologian and Apostle of the Church Paul tells us that the act of valuing others requires the characteristic of humility. Judgment is the complete opposite of humility. As soon as we judge someone we elevate ourselves above them. We become the authority on their actions. We assume to know why they did what they did or said what they said. We assume we know why they hurt us. I hate to break it to you but that’s not humility. It takes humility to value people. Now, it doesn’t take a lot of humility to treat someone good if they have something to offer you. But, when there’s nothing to gain from that person we tend to not value them.

When I was attending college in Minneapolis, I met a guy named Red. I met Red because he was a regular “customer” at the Walgreens by my apartment. I put the word customer in quotes because there was a 50/50 chance that Red wasn’t going to be paying for the items he needed from the store. Red was homeless and a seemingly hopeless addict. He would use whatever resources he could to escape his current reality. One of his primary sources of alternate reality was Lysol. You read that right – Lysol – the air freshener. Red would get the biggest can of Lysol he could from the store and spray it into a paper cup then drink it. Apparently, not only does Lysol instantly remove 99% of germs, but it also immediately gets you 100% messed up. It would have been easy for me to assume Red was just some loser base head, but even back then, before Jesus, I valued people. Let me take a side note and say, we have to be careful who we devalue, because God values every single person. God knows something about that person that you don’t know. Every person is the way they are for a reason. We may not know anything about that person but God does. God knows every moment of their life. For example, God knows that Red wasn’t always drinking Lysol on the streets of Minneapolis. God knows that Red used to be police officer in Phoenix Arizona and was a member of the SWAT team. God knows that one-day on a raid of a drug house Red was distracted by a sound for a split second. He was distracted just long enough to take his focus off the partner whose back he was responsible to watch. He was distracted just long enough for that partner to be shot in the head by one of the drug dealers inside the house. Red turned around to watch his partner fall to the ground dead. Red shot and killed the dealer who shot his partner then in a fog he walked out of the drug house. He didn’t stop walking until he hit Minneapolis. I don’t know why he picked Minneapolis, but in listening to his story, I can understand a little better why he wanted to escape reality. So, while Red is pan handling for enough money to buy another can of Lysol, God knows the back-story and values him while you judge him. My point is, the more we get to know about people, the more our grace goes up & our judgment goes down. We go from zero to judgment so quick but 1 Samuel 16:7 says;

…people judge by outward appearance, but the lord looks at the heart.

Don’t you think there are people in your life you could value more?

Here’s the second thing to combat judgment in our lives…

Accept People

Romans 15:7 says…

“Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.”

Acceptance is so simple, when you understand the outcome. God will be glorified when we accept each other. It is the model of Jesus. Jesus clearly communicated that you don’t have to change anything about you. That’s what Jesus does. He accepts us as is. We don’t have to change a thing to be accepted. It’s throughout the New Testament. Jesus accepted sinners. He accepted a woman caught in the act of adultery and a man possessed by demons and the list goes on. He accepted them because, from His eternal perspective, they had great worth. Let me give you a picture of acceptance.

If I took a $100 bill and handed it to you, almost all of you would readily accept it. Now keep in mind, you have no idea where that $100 bill has been, whose dirty hands have been on it, or what it’s been used for. That $100 bill may have been a part of a drug deal or a hit on someone’s life or paid for pornography or prostitution. We have no idea the evil or the good that $100 bill has been used for. When I hand you the money, you don’t care in the least how dirty or wrinkled it is, you immediately think what you could do with that money, because no matter how wrinkled or dirty it is the value of that $100 Bill is still $100. The $100 bill hasn’t lost one ounce of value since the day it rolled off the press. It would probably never even cross you mind where that money has been or who that money has been with when you decide whether or not to accept the $100 bill.

The same is true of you. Regardless of how wrinkled or dirty you are, regardless of the journey you’ve been on or the current location in which you find yourself, none of that determines whether or not Jesus will accept you. Today Jesus will accept you and assigns the same value to you as He did the day you were born. Do you live by the same virtue? Do you accept people in their current tattered condition as to be glory to the God who accepted you in your most tattered condition?

Don’t you think there are people in your life you could accept more?

Here’s the third thing to combat judgment in our lives…

Forgive People

This is the most difficult, but if we don’t forgive, we will stay locked in a box of judgment. We will never get free if we don’t forgive. In the Gospels, Jesus’ disciples ask Him to teach them how to pray. Jesus responds by reciting a prayer that is now famously referred to as “The Lord’s Prayer.” Look at how it reads in Matthew 6:9-13…

9 “This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, 10 your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us today our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. ’

If you’ve been a Jesus Person for very long, you probably know that prayer, and may even be able to recite it from heart. But, check out what Jesus says next. In the verse right after “The Lord’s Prayer” Jesus says this…

14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Not only is it important to forgive, but according to Jesus it is necessary. Jesus says that because He knows that forgiving others is a matter of the heart. If you can’t forgive others, you ultimately can’t forgive yourself. If you can’t forgive yourself, you can never see yourself through the lens of Jesus. You are not who you think you are. You are more than you will ever see yourself to be, but you have to forgive yourself, and for that debt to be forgiven, you must first forgive your debtor. You have to forgive those who have hurt you, abused you, disrespected and dishonored you. We’re hesitant because we think we’re giving the offender power, but in truth, when we forgive we’re taking the power back. That person no longer has the power to minimize your life or hold you hostage by their actions. We’re hesitant because we think we’re giving the offender our trust back, but we’re not. We’re actually taking our trust from them and putting it in God. When we forgive we acknowledge our trust in God to heal our hurts and hearts. Forgiving people isn’t based on our feelings but on God’s heart. Even after enduring unimaginable torture, from the cross Jesus said; “Father Forgive them…” and the “them” He was talking about included me and it included you.

Don’t you think there are people in your life you could accept more?

Here’s the fourth thing to combat judgment in our lives…

Get Close To People

Relationship is essential. The closer you get to people, the further you get from judgment. On the flip side, isolation is a breeding ground for judgment. Some of the most critical people I know have no meaningful relationships. It’s no wonder they sit around and think of everything that’s wrong with everyone they know. They probably think those people are sitting around thinking about what’s wrong with them. It’s a vicious circle. Relationship is the antidote to judgment. It’s why we have Life Groups. If you can surround yourself with people who care about you, suddenly the overwhelming problems of your life become more manageable because now you have someone with whom to share the burden. There’s a fascinating portion of scripture in the book of Luke. You’ve probably heard it or read it before, but let me try to give you a different perspective on it today.

Luke 6:38 says…

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Like you, I’ve heard that scripture as a pre-offering message about money. Let’s be honest, I’ve used that scripture as a pre-offering message about money. In truth, that scripture can be used in regard to money because of the principle of sowing and reaping. But, in this scripture Jesus is actually talking about relationships. Reading the verse before will help you see the context. Look at John 6:37-38

37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

That’s the picture of a beautiful relationship. People respond in direct accordance to how we treat them. If we treat them with generosity, they’ll respond with generosity. If we treat them with love, they’ll respond with love. Treat them with acceptance, they’ll respond with acceptance. If we treat them with cynicism, they’ll respond with cynicism. If we treat them with criticism, they’ll respond with criticism. Treat them with judgment, they’ll respond with judgment. It’s interesting to note that when you give, you generally get back more than you gave. That rings true for the positive as well as with the negative. Today I want love, so I will give love. I don’t want to be judged so I won’t judge. How do I do that? I get close to you and I let you get close to me. The closer I get to you, the less I’ll judge you because I begin to understand why you are the way you are.

Again, relationship is the antidote to judgment. A relationship with other people, but more importantly, a relationship with Jesus. He’s the only one who knows you, understands you, and yet still values you, accepts you, forgives you and longs to have you close to Him. Are you close to Him today? If you’re not, you can be. All you have to do is ask. If you’ve never done that, will you do it now? All you have to do is read these words and believe them in your heart:

Dear Jesus, I’m sorry. I’m a sinner. I repent of my sins and ask you to forgive me. Would you come into my life and make it new. I can’t live the way I’ve lived any more. Save me from myself. Empty me of me and fill me with you. I receive you as my personal Lord and Savior. In Jesus name Amen.

If you prayed that prayer we want to help you walk the Jesus Journey. Will you do us the honor of emailing us to tell us you’ve received Jesus as your Lord and Savior? I want to personally connect with you. Thanks.

See you Sunday;

Shawn

#pastorshawn

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dillydedalus · 5 years

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what i read in july

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT aka i’m finally out of the (relative) reading slump for good & my bro james joyce was there

men explain things to me, rebecca solnit the original mansplaining essay is great, and still scarily relevant; the others in this collection (most on feminist issues) are also quite good; some aspects are a bit dated & problematic so be aware of that. 2.5/5

erschlagt die armen!, shumona sinha (tr. from french, not available in english) short but very impactful novella about a young french woman, originally from india, who works as an interpreter in the asylum system and becomes more & more broken by this system of inhumane bureaucracy and suffering, until she snaps and hits a migrant over the head with a wine bottle. full of alienation and misery and beautiful but disturbing language - the title translates to ‘beat the poor to death’ so like. yeah. 3.5/5

fire & blood: a history of the targaryen family I, george r r martin look, it’s a 700-page-long fake history book about a fictional ruling dynasty in a fictional world, and i’m just That Obsessed & Desperate about asoiaf (and i don’t even care about the targs That Much). anyway, now i know more about the targs than any ruling family from, you know, real history, which is like, whatever. this is pretty enjoyable if you are That Obsessed, although i will say that some bits are much better than others (there are some dry dull years even in everyone’s fav overly dramatic dragon-riding incest-loving family) and the misogyny really is. a lot. too much. way too much. BUT i did really like Good Best Queen Alysanne (her husband king joe harris is alright too i guess) and i found my new westerosi otp, cregan stark/aly blackwood, who both have Big Dick Energy off the fucking charts. 3.5/5 (+0.5 points for cregan and aly’s combined BDE)

the old drift, namwali serpell hugely ambitious sprawling postcolonial nation-building novel about zambia, told thru three generations of three families, as well as a chorus of mosquitoes (consistently the best & smartest parts). there is A LOT going on, in terms of characters, of plot points, of references to history (the zambian space programme) and literature (finally my knowledge of heart of darkness paid off) and thematically, and honestly it was a bit too much, a bit too tangled & fragmented & drifty, and in the end i probably admire this book more than i liked it, but serpell’s writing is incredibly smart and funny and full of electrical sparks 3.5/5

a severed head, iris murdoch the original love dodecahedron (not that i counted). iris murdoch is fucking WILD and i love her for it. this is a strange darkly funny little farce about some rich well-educated londoners and their bizarre & rather convoluted love lives. not as grandiosely wild as the sea the sea, but fun nevertheless. 3/5

midnight in chernobyl, adam higginbotham jumping on the hype bandwagon caused by the hbo series (very weird to call the current fascination with chernobyl a hype bandwagon but you know). interesting & well-written & accessible (tho the science is still totally beyond me) & gets you to care about the people involved. lots of human failure, lots of human greatness, set against the background of the almost eldritch threat of radioactivity (look up the elephant foot & see if you don’t get chills), and acute radiation syndrome which is THE MOST TERRIFYING THING ON EARTH . 3.5/5

normal people, sally rooney honestly this is incredibly engrossing & absorbing once you get used to how rooney completely ignores ‘show don’t tell’ (it works!), i pretty much read the whole thing in one slow workday (boss makes a dollar, i make a dime so i read books on my phone on company time, also i genuinely had nothing to do). i also think rooney is really good at precisely capturing the ~millenial experience in a way that feels very true, especially the transition from school to uni. BUT i really disliked the ending, the book never engages with the political themes it introduces (esp. class and gender) as deeply as it could and the bdsm stuff never really gets TIED UP LOL. so overall idk: 3.5/5

störfall: nachrichten eines tages, christa wolf quiet reflective undramatic little book narrated by a woman waiting to hear about the outcome of her brother’s brain surgery on the day of the catastrophe at chernobyl - throughout the day she puts down her thoughts about her brother and the events unfolding at chernobyl, as well as the double uncertainty she is trying to cope with. really interesting to read such an immediate reaction to chernobyl (the book came out less than a year after chernobyl). 2.5/5

the man in the high castle, philip k dick it was fine? quick & entertaining alternative history where the axis powers win the war, some interesting bits of worldbuilding (like the draining of the mediterranean which was apparently a real idea in the early 20th century?) but overall it’s just felt a bit disjointed & unsatisfying to me. 2.5/5

fugitive pieces, anne michaels very poetic & thoughtful novel about the holocaust, grief, remembrance & the difference between history and memory, intergenerational trauma, love, geology and the weather. i’m not sure how much this comes together as a novel, but it is absolutely beautifully written (the author is a poet as well) and very affective. 3.5/5

american innovations, rivka galchen short collection of bizarre & often funny short stories about neurotic women whose furniture flies away, or who grow an extra breast, or who are maybe too occupied with financial details. very vague & very precise at once, which seems to be the thing with these sort of collections. 3/5

fool’s assassin (fitz & the fool #1), robin hobb YAASS i’m back in the realm of the elderlings!!! i thought this was one of the weaker installments in the series - i still enjoyed it a lot, and Feelings were had, but it just doesn’t quite fit together pacing-wise & some of the characterisation struck me as off (can i get some nuance for shun & lant please?) and tbh fitz is at peak Selfcentred Dumbass Levels & it drove me up the fucking wall. molly, nettle & bee deserve better. still, completely HYPE for the rest of the trilogy. 3.5/5

JAMES JOYCE JULY

note: i decided not to read dubliners bc it’s my least fav of joyce’s major works & too bleak & repetitive for my mood right now AND while i planned not to reread finnegans wake bc……. it’s finnegans wake…. i kinda do want to read it now (but i also. really don’t.) so idk yet.

a portrait of the artist as a young man, james joyce y’all. i read this book at least once a year between the ages of 15 and 19, it’s beyond formative, it is burnt into my brain, and reading it now several years later it is still everything, soaring and searing (that searing clarity of truth, thanks burgess) and poetic and dirty, and stephen is baby, and a pretentious self-important little prick and i love him & i am him (or was him as only a pretentious self-important teenage girl reading joyce can be him - because this truly is a book that should be read in your late teens when you feel everything as intensely and world-endingly and severely as my boy stephen does and every new experience feels like the world changing). anyway i love this book & i love stephen dedalus, bird-like, hawk-like, knife-blade, aloof, alienated, severe and stern, a poet-priest-prophet if he could ever get over himself, baby baby baby. 5/5

exiles, james joyce well. there’s a reason joyce is known as a novelist. this is….. a failed experiment, maybe. a fairly boring play about an adulterous love-square and uh… love beyond morality and possession maybe??? about how much it would suck for joyce to return to ireland??? and tbh it’s not terribly interesting. 2/5

travesties, tom stoppard a wild funny irreverent & smart antic comedy inspired by the fact that during ww1, james joyce, lenin, and dadaist tristan tzara were all in neutral zurich, more or less simultaneously; they probably never met, but in this play they do, as dadaist poetry, socialist art critique, and a james joyce high on his own genius & in desperate need of some cash while writing ulysses, AND the importance of being earnest (joyce is putting on a production of it) all collide in the memories of henry carr, who played algernon & later sued joyce over money (tru facts). not my fav stoppard (that’s arcadia) but it’s funny & fizzy & smart & combines many many things that i love. 4/5

ulysses, james joyce look i’m not really going to tell y’all anything new about ulysses, but it really has everything, it’s warm & human(e) & cerebral & difficult & funny & sad & healing & i always get a lot out of it even tho there’s bits (a lot of them) i’ll never wrap my head around. ultimate affirmation of humanity or whatever. also stephen dedalus is baby. 5/5

dedalus, chris mccabe the fact that this book (sequel to ulysses about what stephen dedalus might have done the next day) exists and was published ON MY BIRTHDAY is proof that the universe loves me.

anyway this is very very good, very very clever, extremely good at stephen (less good at bloom but his parts are still good), engages w/ ulysses, portrait & hamlet (& others) very cleverly & does some cool meta and experimental shit. y’all it has stephen talking to a contemporary therapist about how he’s stuck in joyce’s text which is all about joyce & very little about whoever stephen is when he’s not joyce’s alter ego/affectionate but slightly amused look at younger self and ithaca is an interview w/ the author about how his relationship to his dad influenced his response to ulysses and I’M INTO IT. the oxen of the sun chapter replaces the whole ‘gestation of english prose’ w/ just slightly rewriting the first pages of about 10 novels published between ulysses and now & it does lolita w/ “bloom, thorn of stephen’s sleep, light in his eyes. his sire, his son’ and i lit. screamed. anyway i don’t want to give this 5 stars (yet) bc i think some of the experimental stuff ended up a bit gimmicky & didn’t add that much to the text but fuck. that’s my boy & i want to reread it right now. 4.5/5 ALSO it’s a crime no literary weirdo woman has written ‘a portrait of the artist’s sister’ about delia ‘dilly’ dedalus, shadow of stephen’s mind, quick far & daring, teaching herself french from a 3rd hand primer while her father drinks the nonexistent family fortune away and her older brother is getting drunk on a beach & starting fights w/ soldiers bc he’s a smartarse

#the books i read #long post

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chxronica · 6 years

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Weeds are flowers too (once you get to know them) - 2

Word count: Roughly 2600

Summery: Toni takes Cheryl up on the flowers she owes her

Chapter 1 || ao3 link

After a rather interesting encounter with the brunette beauty that just happened to be a tattoo artist next door, Cheryl was left expecting something. What she was expecting was beyond the comprehension of the redhead, but she was determined to find it out. That was if she could make sense of the whole situation and why she wanted something.

Everytime she tried to think about what was bugging her, her mind drifted back to Toni; but that couldn’t mean anything. Right? Right. So, there had to be something else that she wanted, or maybe it was just a want for a friendship of some kind. The brunette seemed interesting but nice enough, and there was the added bonus of her being nice on the eyes.

She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts before focusing back on the bouquet of flowers she was making for someone. Ever since her conversation with the other girl, he business has picked back up. Which meant she was back to spending her day helping old ladies and hopeless romantics, or what she enjoyed really. It was fun to help people find the love because she was romantic at heart.

Finishing up the last of the flowers she smiled at the teenager in her shop. It wasn’t often that she got younger girl’s buying romantic bouquets for someone. Most of the time it was some dorky boy who couldn’t shut up about the cute girl or guy he was buying them for. Those types of purchases never failed to warm her heart

“So who’s the lucky boy?” The redhead teased lightly as she rang up the order, making sure to put the discounted price. She had enough money that she never had to worry, having inherit millions, maybe even billions, of dollars from her dad. It was her chose to give away most to scholarships and go into something she loved, just leaving enough to live comfortably

The question brought a shy smile to the girl’s lips and a deep blush to her cheeks. She stared at Cheryl for a few seconds before she finally spoke up. “It’s a girl actually, not boy.” The customer, Dani, told her. If the florist was being honest she wasn’t surprised by the words that left her mouth.

Dani had been a regular at the flower since she was maybe twelve, that was when he mother died. Her elementary school was just a block away, so one day she stumbled upon the small flower shop and fell in love with it. Since that day, Cheryl has always had open arms for the little, or not so little anymore, girl whenever she needed a getaway.

A grin took over her features as she thought about all the different ways she would talk about people, almost how a little sister would talk to an older one. “Please tell me that it’s who I’m thinking.” At her words she took of the price of the flowers completely, wrapping them up fully.

With a small giggle and another blush, the teenager hopped up onto the counter and sat with her legs cross, waiting for her sister like figure to do the same. Rolling her caramel eyes, the redhead put the flowers on a chair and sat across from her. “It’s one of these talks.” Her tone remained light and teasing as the other girl sighed and leaned back.

“She’s just so perfect and I never thought that she would like me back, but then we were walking back after getting lunch and she turned to me, with those perfectly blue eyes, with a huge grin.” Dani began to gush almost instantly, recounting the tails of what had happened for her to but flowers. Or more specifically when this happened, so Cheryl knew if she should be offended that she was just finding out.

“And she just… she kissed me. I swear it was the most perfect thing to ever happen to me. Her lips for so soft and she just kept kissing me, in the middle of the sidewalk. It left me speechless, so now we’re just taking things slow.” Her friend continued, a lovesick grin on her face as she did so.

Cheryl sat up slightly and gave her a very serious look, which was hard because all she wanted to do was squeal for the other girl. “When did this happen?” She question, finding it extremely hard to keep a straight face in this situation. The number of times that Dani had talked about her best friend and not realized she was in love with her was unimaginable.

“About a week ago.”

A dramatic gasp escaped the florists lips as she lightly hit her ‘sister’s’ arm. “How could you?!” She put a hand over her heart, feigning being wounded which only brought a giggle from the teenager. It warmed her heart that she was finally back in a good place.

“I ran here when it happened, but you weren’t here.” She replied with a exaggerated pout her way. That thought brought a small blush to Cheryl’s cheek , because she knew exactly why she wasn’t there. She was over at the tattoo parlor unknowingly crushing on the cute tattoo artist.

Before Dani even had a chance to reply, a small bell chimes that brings both of their attention to the door. The person standing there, of course, was the one that had just been occupying her thoughts no less than a few seconds ago.

Toni gave both the girl’s a smile before glancing at the sign on the door. “Is this a bad time? The sign said you were open?” Her voice is questioning as she shut the door behind her. Might as well commit to the visit already, a part of her was hoping that Cheryl wouldn’t be there.

Almost instantly the redheaded florist had launched herself of the counter to talk to Toni, which brought a small giggle from Dani who remained where she was. “Dani was just leaving, weren’t you.” She told her, trying to shoo her off the counter and towards the counter.

“I’m actually just about to start my shift.” She gave her a small smirk before jumping off the counter and turned to face Toni. “Don’t mind her, she’s been going bonkers in the heads recently. Can’t seem to remember anything, must be the age.”

Toni laughed at the teenager’s words, which received a light shove from Cheryl. This was only their second time talking, but she was embarrassed and everything just felt natural with the tattoo artist. Taking off her apron she threw it at Dani, “Great, you can go sweep up the backroom.”

The youngest girl groaned as she caught the apron, knowing that she got herself into this mess. A small smirk is plastered on her features though as she heads to the back, leaving the door open. Cheryl might not know it, but it was obvious that she wasn’t straight. That was a guarantee just from how flustered she got dealing with the cute customers.

“So how can I help you?” The florist asked, giving her best grin that she was able to conjure up in her already flustered state.

A small giggle came from the tattoo artist at the whole encounter that had just happened, and Cheryl’s attempt to “cooly” transition into a new subject. She acknowledged the words before walking down one of the isles, the redhead following behind her. “I want to buy some flowers.”

“First purchase is on the house remember?” She teased her, picking up random flowers as she walked. There was a lot that went into buying the perfect bouquet, but Cheryl really didn’t want to come off as prying by asking the questions that would determined what she need.

Dark eyes roll at the eagerness in the florist voice. “What type of flowers should you buy for your girlfriend?” She asked her, which for some unknown reason had made the redhead’s heart drop into her stomach. Yet, she was still naive enough to think that those feelings had meant nothing at all. It was probably just something she had eaten for breakfast.

Truth be told, Toni didn't even have a person that she was interested in let alone a person that she was actually dating. She honestly had just wanted an excuse to see Cheryl, but couldn’t think of a reason a person like her would be buying flowers that wasn’t depressing. In hindsight maybe it would have been better to say that her grandmother died, because of the ways Cheryl’s face falls for a brief second.

“Well…” She trailed off as she grabbed a flower, showing it to the tattoo artist. “This flower, the amaryllis, represents splendid beauty and worth beyond that.”

Toni nodded at that, making sure it’s added to the budding bouquet of flowers in front of her. This process continued as Cheryl suggested different types of flowers.

“A pink carnation, symbolising the love you have for a woman or your mother… A hydrangea shows heartfelt emotions… And finally, violets and lavenders.” The redhead had finished up making the flower bed, managing not to become a flustered mess this time.

The whole time she was explaining the types of flowers Toni had just nodded, a small smile plastered on her features. She followed the florist around the store, slightly suspicious at the last two flowers that she had picked. It was only make the redhead’s gay vibes stronger than ever.

She was lead to the checkout, even if she was getting them for free there was probably something inventory wise that needed to be done. “So Blossom, you must have all the girls on you?” It was a little dangerous to be testing the waters now but Cheryl almost throwing the flowers was worth it.

Pale cheeks almost instantly grew a deep red as she began to stumble over her words. “The girls? Over me? No! I mean no. I’m really straight. Like straighter than an arrow straight, yeah… straight! No girls for me.” She quickly replied only getting more flustered with every new word she said.

One of Toni’s perfect eyebrows go up as a small chuckle comes from how fluster the florist had gotten at one general statement. There was no way in hell that she was actually straight. No chance at all. “Are you sure about that?” She teased easily, leaning forward on the counter.

The blush on the florist cheeks only deepen at the close proximity that they now were. “Yup, sure as ever!” Her voice comes out as a squeak, which only managed to make her more flustered than she was previously. That might as well been worthy of an award at this point because she didn’t think that was possible.

“So you wouldn’t be interested in going to pride with me next weekend?” The tattoo artist asked as she carefully examined the flustered girl with a satisfied smirk. Maybe it was a little fun to make her fluster. Okay, it was a shit ton of fun to make someone who seemed so put together so flustered at one little suggestion.

The questioned seemed to conflict the redhead woman, because on one hand she got to hang out with the girl she already felt something with but she had no place at pride. “Can straight people go to that?” She asked her, once the burning in her cheeks had died down just a little.

That brought one of Toni’s cute giggles, not that Cheryl had found her cute in any way. Well, she was cute but not in the she was gay for her way. Just in a way a person would admire a cute friend. She was allowed to think that a girl was cute, hell even hot in the leather jacket and tight jeans, and it mean absolutely nothing. Except in the redhead’s case it had actually meant something. Something that she wasn’t ready to admit to herself.

Before either of them could reply, Dani is flying out of the back room with a childish grin on her features. “She would love to go with you! I was going to drag her along with me anyway.” She said excitedly, taking over ringing up the tattoo artist so that Cheryl didn’t mess something up in her flustered state. “I’m Dani by the way, Cheryl’s little sister like person.”

Another laugh came from Toni as she took the flowers from the energetic girl, eyes glancing at the flustered girl as she did. “But shouldn’t you go with you girlfriend?” Cheryl asked her, sending an harsh glare in the direction of the teenager, who just ignored it completely.

That question actually made the shortest girl in the room freeze, not expecting her lie to come back and bite her in the ass; but it was so she had to actually think of another lie. In a couple weeks she can just tell the redhead that the two of them had broke up. “She’s going to be out of town.”

Dani grinned at that, writing down something on the receipt. “Text Cheryl whenever, she had noooooo life. I mean it. She spends like her whole day selling flowers and hanging out with old people.” That earned a proper playful wack from Cheryl as she moved from behind the counter, going to guide Toni to the door.

Once they’re out the door she finally finds the urge to speak again, the embarrassment beginning to wear off finally. “I don’t spend all my time with old people, I have friend.” She told her with an awkward chuckle, not wanting to appear lame to the cool and hot tattoo artist.

That brought a chuckle from Toni as she shook her head at the still flustered girl, at least it wasn’t as bad as it was early. How flustered now is what she considered a win, just based on her past history of blushing around the girl. At the amount she had done it, it was hard to believe this was only their second time talking to each other. It was actually scarring Cheryl a lot because she was supposed to be straight, which meant that she didn’t become a flustered mess around one cute girl from time to time.

“I will text you sometime, so you don’t have to hang out with just old people and a teenage girl.” She teased lightly, holding up the the receipt Dani had slipped in her hand with the bundle of flowers when Cheryl was trying to get her out of her. That brought a huff from the redhead as she pouted at Toni.

“Until next time.” She gave her a quick peck on the cheek before heading next door. The flowers were now going to become part of the tattoo parlor decoration because she had no time to run them home. Maybe she’d take them home, but it would be nice to have a constant reminder of the adorable redhead next door during work.

The simple peck of the cheek had left Cheryl the most flustered she had ever been, standing there frozen with fiery red cheeks. Caramel eyes stared after as she opened up the place, continuing to stay on the building long after Toni had actually entered it. Her thoughts are interrupted by Dani dragging her into the store singing a childish song about the two of them and her “crush” on the tattoo artist.

#riverdale #choni #toni topaz #cheryl blossom #choni fic #riverdale fic #fic update #weeds are flowers too

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hollowgroverp · 5 years

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NOAH BLACKWELL

(age.) 1000+ (species.) original vampire (occupation.) cfo of blackwell media (residency.) on and off since it was created (mirror.) milo ventimiglia

❝ a pavement of the past

Even as a child, Noah knew he had to look out for his siblings. He was the eldest son and because of that he was responsible for each of them - even though Maggie was technically the oldest. It meant he had to try to keep Lukas on a short leash and on the right path. Joslyn was his baby sister, he had to be sure to keep her safe from anything and everything that could hurt her. When it came to Maggie; well, she was his partner in looking after the younger two…They worked together to teach their siblings the ways of their small town, how to navigate the forest around their home, how to hunt and cook and take care of themselves, read and write. Plus, he had to keep a watch over her, too. They were all his responsibility in the end of it; not to mention they were the most important thing to him in his entire life. He had to keep them safe.

Noah fell into that role well. From a young age he’d always been rather serious compared to his siblings and it helped when it came to keeping the rest of the Blackwells in line. It was only natural for him to stumble into the family business, too. He looked up to his father and wanted nothing more than to become a blacksmith alongside him. So once he was old enough to hold the hammer and start shaping the metal, he started working with his father, learning the skills of the trade. Come to think of it, his life had always been pretty much mapped out of him, hadn’t it? Not that Noah minded; He loved his family with everything he had, enjoyed the laborious but rewarding work of the blacksmith. When his parents found his ‘perfect match’, so to speak, he was at the alter and saying ‘I do’ to a woman he barely even knew at the time.

He and Dorothy were not a couple made of love. Instead, they were more of a mutually beneficial relationship. They worked together well and he enjoyed her company. Together they had three children within the span of five or so years, began raising their own little family - and he had more people to look after, a role he already had so much practice doing. Two boys and one girl, they became a bright light in his life, and he cherished them. Just as he was a strict and demanding older brother he took on a similar role over his children. He kept them in line with a stern voice but a nurturing hand.

Just as he was settling into the routine of caring for his young children and working on his own as a blacksmith, a bomb was dropped into his life that changed everything. People appeared to take Maggie from them, claiming she was their rightful property and attempting to steal her away. They said she wasn’t a Blackwell, that they were her parents, that she didn’t belong with them. Noah didn’t even question it as he stood beside his sister, ready to defend her from anything. Even if she wasn’t biologically a Blackwell, if what these people claimed was true, she was his family - and no one would take her away. Not without a fight. He had made a vow to protect his family, and Maggie was just that. She always would be.

When Maggie refused to leave with them, Noah only felt a momentary elation, because her refusal was quickly followed by the life changing curse. Vampirism. A slave to blood lust. A thirst that couldn’t be satiated. In that instant, the whole entire world flipped on its axis and went dark. The light disappeared from within him, instead replaced with an undying hunger. The only thing he knew was he had to get away, and he fled - dropping bodies in his wake across the entire world. Without his humanity, Noah just didn’t care. Time became relative, hundreds of years were lost in what seemed like a blink of an eye but also felt as if they were stretched into infinity. He didn’t love, he didn’t feel, he didn’t care. He was a slave to the blood, a killer, a monster.

He’d all but forgotten his past life when Lukas reappeared to flip everything over on him once more. It was his baby brother who made him feel again - only when Noah had him within an inch of his life. Lukas convinced Noah to return to himself and let his humanity return and along with it all of the shame and regret he felt over the past several centuries. He hadn’t even kept a count of all the bodies that had dropped at his hand, how many innocent people that he’d murdered - but he could feel the weight of each and every one of them, bearing down on his shoulders and dragging him into hell.

His wife and kids had died centuries ago thinking he’d abandoned them. He had abandoned them. For decades he walked the Earth on uneven footing, not knowing where he really fit or belonged. Even his family were only shadows of their former selves, waging war on the werewolves and fighting for power, no longer interested in the normal aspects of the life they’d once known. Noah wanted nothing to do with it. He fought the wolves that got in his way but otherwise didn’t seek to wage war with them, unlike his siblings who seemed more hungry for power and control than ever. While he knew Maggie, Joslyn, and Lukas didn’t need his help, perhaps even didn’t want it, he kept an eye on their affairs from a distance, meddling just enough to keep them from getting too deep into trouble. After all those years had past they may not be the family he once had known, but they were still his family - and he loved them now even more fiercely than before. As a boy he swore to protect them and that promise is still something he plans to keep.

Noah sought out more of the finer things in life. He chose to travel, exploring every inch of the world and beyond as new territories were discovered. He studied, absorbing what knowledge he could and trying to keep abreast of the ever evolving world. Technology advanced at startling rates, often leaving the vampire behind to catch up years later. He chose the path of blending in, assimilating with humanity but never staying in one place too long.

At the mention of peace treaties, Noah was skeptical but willing to hear the offer. If a treaty would keep his family safe and let them settle down for once, he was willing to try and strike one up. Plus, it would help to get his siblings all back in line, maybe regain some sense of control over this whole, fucked up world. But supernatural wars didn’t easily come to terms of peace, not until they were forced to because there wasn’t much of another choice. Supernatural creatures were revealed to the world and humans were in an uproar in attempts to protect themselves, droves of every species getting wiped out. The original families - vampires, werewolves, and the supreme, came together to strike the deal and protect their kinds. Hollow Grove was created as a safe haven for all supernatural kinds, and the world started to settle again.

Laying down roots isn’t Noah’s thing. He drifts in and out of Hollow Grove, preferring to live in a constant state of transition rather than letting himself get too comfortable. Even if it takes hundreds of years for things to change, he’s been burned by it far too many times to count, and he’s not willing to be caught off guard again.

❝ the nature of the beast

Loyal to his family and only his family, Noah will go to any length necessary to protect his siblings first and foremost. They are the ones who keep his humanity around, but beyond that he can be seen as rather humorless and stern. As an original and an immortal, Noah doesn’t fear much of anything, which means at times he can be reckless with his life. But unlike Lukas and Joslyn, he doesn’t choose to use his ‘gifts’ for fun. He prefers to fly under the radar and in the quiet of his own life as much as he can; he’s not one to choose the forefront of attention.

#all #vampire #original vampire #milo ventimiglia

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