#because idk WHERE people are but none of the many schools I went to had cafeterias or gave out food?? like what?? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nataliasquote · 23 days

Text

Is It All For Nothing? | n romanoff

Summary: You just want a friend. Is that so bad? How is it fair that everyone else gets one but you. What did you do that was so wrong?

Warnings: idk. just depressing stuff ig

Pairings: none. a small bit of Nat x reader but all platonic

wc: 1.3k

notes: I wrote this in 45 mins in one sitting. It’s written in a different pov than usual and idk if it even makes sense. I just typed and didn’t stop until I was done 🤷‍♀️ the idea just came to me and yeah :)

-⧗-

Frankly, being on the sidelines sucked. Everyone knew it yet no matter how many times someone engaged in small talk to be polite or proclaimed they were there to talk to everyone, somehow you were always left out.

It didn’t matter where you were, loneliness followed like a dormant disease. High school sucked, you were a nobody, but thankfully those years were in the past. But your fifteen year old self didn’t realise that your isolation would carry right on over into your adult life.

And sure, it wasn’t all bad. The nights spent chatting with new friends you’d made that day left you on an all time high, but that just made the fall that much harder. And when the low inevitably came, you could only laugh at yourself at your naivety, because why would things suddenly change? You weren’t someone people stuck around for.

Unfortunately, Shield agents were no different. Those in your cohort were nice enough to say hi in the hallway or invite you into group conversations. A couple even chatted with you over lunch. But you knew they only did it because they felt bad. You saw the difference in their demeanor; you were a spy for god’s sake. They were so much happier with their friends, and that didn’t include you, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself it did.

There was one agent who’s attention toyed with you that little bit more. Natasha Romanoff was a couple of ranks higher, both in social and training status. But she was always kind, no matter what. You conversed whilst waiting for your training session, mainly her listening as you talked. She was sweet, despite her intimidating facade and before long she had you completely wrapped around your little finger.

For a month, you both chatted any chance you got. If you saw her in the cafeteria, you’d make a beeline for her table, smiling at the other agents as you sat down. She responded to you, her eyes holding yours as you spoke, seeming actually interested in what you had to say. She would joke with you, calling you out with a laugh which sent a flush to your cheeks. You didn’t care what she said, she was talking to you. That’s all that mattered. Maybe this was where your life changed for the better. Evenings that followed those days would be blissful and you would fall asleep with a smile on your face, feeling on top of the world all because of the redheaded Russian.

However, as the weeks went on, days would go by with no contact. At first you just thought she was going on more missions; that was her job after all. But then you’d see that flash of red hair in a meeting room or one of the agents talking about something Natasha had said earlier and it hit you sharply in the throat.

Was she just like everyone else? Playing the pity card, building you up only to leave you hanging once she got bored? Natasha didn’t seem like that kind of person, but had essentially placed her on a pedestal, so of course she could do no wrong. That was your downfall.

Emerging from a debrief with Maria Hill, you tucked a stack of files under your arm and stepped out into the hallway. And there she was, a soft smile on her lips. You reciprocated it and made eye contact, opening your mouth to speak. You hadn't spoken in a few days and you hated to admit it, but you missed her.

But Natasha clearly didn’t feel the same. Her eyes caught yours and then darted to the floor, her feet picking up the pace as she walked past. “I’m sorry Y/n, I’m busy today. We’ll talk later.”

Except she wasn’t busy. Because there she was, standing at the end of the hall laughing with another agent in your cohort. It shouldn’t have been, but it was like a punch to the stomach and you quickly turned around, retreating back into the room you’d left to avoid her seeing you watching her.

You knew that agent. They were friends, everyone saw it. And she was nice enough to you too, but jealousy coursed through your veins and turned you into a green eyed monster.

What did she have that you didn’t? Besides the ability to win Natasha over, obviously. Every single interaction you’d had with the redhead suddenly started replaying in your mind, frantically scanning to see what went wrong. Did you overstep? Were you too pushy? Too clingy? You just wanted a friend, was that so hard to understand? Was it so bad to want?

You thought about texting her, but decided against it. You didn’t want to know the answer. What if your worst fears were confirmed? That she only spoke to you out of pity, and quite frankly didn’t want anything to do with you.

It hurt. It really did. Countless times you wished that she was the one that would change your bad history of making friends. Because when you were around Natasha, nothing else mattered. The days of no contact slipped out of your mind. You’d forgive her for anything in a heartbeat… maybe that was the problem.

You thought the world of her. And she saw that. ‘Never meet your heroes’ that’s what they say, isn’t it? And maybe she wasn’t quite at hero status for you, but you looked up to her. Praising her work when she returned from a successful mission, commenting on the ingenious moves she made to lead her team to victory. She was everything you wanted to be as an agent, with one seriously important factor.

Everyone loved her.

Everyone loved her, and nobody knew you. She was the prize rose and you were behind, stuck in her shadow. They didn’t see you as anyone but the agent who sucked up to Natasha. They didn’t see how hard you worked, how many hours you trained, how much effort you put in. And they never would. Because it was too much. You were a try hard.

A try hard in a room full of effortless people.

Effortless just like that other agent was. She’d been rumoured to move up into Natasha’s ranks and onto her mission team, leaving you struggling in the lower levels. It felt almost childish, yearning after the attention of one single person. But no matter how hard you tried, or how casual you tried to be, Natasha would never see you as anything other than a fan girl.

You knew she was capable of giving you what you desired, you saw it with that other agent. The way they laughed together, developed inside jokes and anecdotal phrases that they brought up in group discussions. You saw the way Natasha’s eyes lit up at the mention of her name, how she gushed over her but also teased her at the same time. Their effortless banter had you choking back tears as you sat one table over, watching with blurry eyes.

You wanted that so badly it hurt.

But if you stopped trying, stopped reaching out, stopped lusting after the perfect friendship you so badly craved with her, would she notice? Or would you fade into the background, silently, without a word. Maybe she would be happy, now that you’re no longer bugging her.

Maybe it’s for the best.

#natasha romanoff #marvel #fanfic #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff imagine #friendship angst #marvel angst #black widow #natasha romanoff fanfic #scarlett johansson

238 notes · View notes

buckttommy · 2 years

Note

i love ryan but i’m newer to fandom (joined during the s5 mid season hiatus) and i’ve always vaguely heard about The Incident but have never been able to figure out what actually happened?? other than it was something that got him labelled racist and if you like him you’re therefore racist too. you don’t have to explain what happened if you’re not comfortable w it but i’m very curious and i support him but idk how to defend that choice without knowing what actually happened, you know?

Hi anon! I'm glad you asked. Not a lot of people know the context surrounding The Incident and I'm tired of people's ignorance. Enough is enough. This is long, but stay with me.

In May 2020, one of Ryan's followers at the time went through his partner, Chrysti Ane's, twitter account and found an instance from 2011 in which she used the n-word. Considering this was only days after George Floyd was murdered (or might have even been the same day; I can't find the tweets that incited the incident) and tensions were already extremely heightened, this discovery blew up in a massive way.

Days later (May 31, 2020), Chrysti Ane wrote this statement and posted it on Twitter:

[img. i.d.: As these recent events unfold, so do heightened state of emotions. My family and I have been accused of being racists for the past few days and I think it's past time for me to address quite a few things. This all started when one of my partner's followers dug up a few of my tweets from 2011 (9 years ago) that used the n-word. I will not justify using that word, but I will explain myself. At the time I was dating someone of African-American decent [sic] and started diving deeper into the culture; I made tons of black friends, listened to music that used slurs, watched black comedians that freely used the word, and I felt accepted by the black community. At the time, none of my friends found it offensive, but I must say I also didn't fully comprehend the WEIGHT of the word. I didn't comprehend the history, the struggles, the oppression. I was a 16 year old girl in high school trying to find my place and figure out who I was. I am not a woman with my own family, a child, and a partner. I am NOT the same girl I was almost 10 years ago, I encourage you to look back at where you were 9 years ago and think to yourself "am I the same person?" That being said, this is my formal apology for those tweets and who they have offended. We must hold people accountable for things that [sic] have said or done and I am glad this has been called out and I can show that 16 year old girl isn't the woman I am today. I can tell you honestly I have grown immensely. My respect for the black community is massive. What they have endured, what they have overcome, and what they CONTINUE to go through on a daily basis has opened my eyes and my heart. I will continue to use my platform, as I have been, to do good. I have donated, tweeted links, and spoken my peace on the matter. I have stood up for the black community and will continue to do so. Now I'd like to address a different matter - blocking certain accounts. After those tweets resurfaced, I experienced hate tweets, hate accounts, memes with my image and my partners, name calling, and worst of all foul names about my son. After responding to a tweet saying something among [sic] the lines of "I have many black friends and I couldn't fathom seeing such a thing [as George Floyd]" one of the accounts that had previously been a part of the "hate tweets" had told me I made her "uncomfortable" because it seemed as though if I didn't have black friends I wouldn't care. I responded addressing her previous online bullying and proceeded to get hate. To that I must say, I have repeatedly attempted to turn focus to what's important-EQUALITY/HUMANITY. It seems as though everything that is said nowadays is dissected and the overall message gets lost. If you don't speak or use your platform, you're "racist" or "choosing the side of the oppressor" or "part of the problem" but if you DO say something without articulating yourself CRYSTAL clear with no room for interpretation you're "racist" or "making people uncomfortable" or "part of the problem." I simply want to use my voice for good. I want to help. I want to do my best to let the black community be heard and RESPECTED. Let's all be part of the solution and create proper change in this country so everyone can experience what America is supposed to be an stand for.

The same day (May 31, 2020), Ryan hopped on Instagram Live and addressed both Chrysti Ane's use of the n-word and his own silence over several days. [Full transcription here] I strongly encourage everyone to read the entire transcript, but for those who don't want to, most of his Instagram live was about his support for the black community. During his livestream, Ryan:

Highlighted the black community as being instrumental to his growth and development as a human being

[img. i.d.: "I love my black brothers and sisters. In fact, a lot of them have shaped me into the person I am today. I'm very thankful for their input, their insight and their culture 'cause [they are] as proud of their culture as I am of mine. And the great thing about America is we get to combine those cultures. Black lives definitely matter and they should resonate -- they are the reason that America is so great.]

Called out the racists who followed him specifically:

[img. i.d.: "If you are a racist and you're following me or you think that this whole Black Lives Matter is out of proportion or anything, get the hell of [sic - off] my Instagram, get the hell of [sic - off] my Twitter. I don't need you. That's not the America I want to live in. I'm a biracial man. I gotta accept more than one race anyways. So anybody that follows me needs to be part of the solution rather than the problem. And of top of that, this is a human rights issue."]

Highlighted the realities of systemic racism and the black experience

[img. i.d.: Our black brothers and sisters, who are human beings, are being mistreated by systemic racism. That racism has allowed white people to just hurt our own kind, our own humans. That sh*t, I can't stand for. And now how I see all this changing is not overnight. It's by each individual making that choice to stand up to the next individual who is next to him who is being racist or being ignorant or being naive. I can't even imagine what it would be like to talk to my son and tell him people are gonna look at him worse because of his skin colour. That sh*t hits deep. It hits hard, and not because some of my friends are black -- that has nothing to do with me, this ain't about me at all. It's, again, about humanity. It's how we treat our fellow people.]

Did research before speaking, sought counsel from the Black POC in his life, and reverted back to history to back up what he was saying to his followers

[img. i.d.: I was looking through things over the internet, trying to do my research before I spoke, and black people getting killed by white people for racist views is nothing new. I mean, you can go to the biggest names -- Martin Luther King [Jr.] in 1968, Reverend George Lee, one of the first black people to vote, killed by white people. And the "I can't breathe" movement? That was nothing new. You saw all the NBA players wearing "I can't breathe" shirts, anybody in sports, anybody in entertainment was wearing "I can't breathe" shirts. That was Eric Garner in 2014. Philando Castile, 2016. I am not painting every police officer bad because there are good police officers out there, so what I'm trying to say is this is directly to those racists out there, who have embedded themselves into the American society. You could be a person working at the movie theaters, you could be working anywhere to be honest. I don't care if you got a badge or not -- if you're racist, you're a racist. And your time is coming to an end. There's more biracial people coming into the world, there's more black people getting influence in the world, we got our first black president and hopefully not our last black president. This sh*t hits deep. I keep saying it. I employ everyone else do their research. Start looking at why everybody is so angry. You know, COVID-19 is an epidemic but this whole racial thing is systemic. It's been happening for 400 years to people with skin darker than ours, for no other reason than just that. So we need to call out people who got more power in this, those white people who have more power in this. I only know of one big attorney because I worked with them on a TV show, but Mark Geragos who has helped out P. Diddy, Chris Brown, and all these other people. Let him start speaking up. Come on, you got enough money now. Start standing up for the right reasons now. So also doing my research and talking to the cast of 9-1-1 and trying to figure out what [we] can do, how we can help out. Some of those don't feel what it feels like to be a black person and will never be able to, so how do we help? And Aisha, who plays Hen on the show, she was all about just support, reaching out, help whenever you can, wherever you can. You can go to Black Lives Matter, you can go to defund the Police, but in my personal opinion, defunding the police won't help because there are good police officers out there. You can also go to colorofchange.org, that's a good one. I see that a lot of people are trying to help out on that one, and there's a fund for George Floyd himself and his family. So there's ways to help out. Let's just find the right ways.

It was during this same livestream [on page 3/4 of the transcript], that Ryan says this about his partner's controversy:

[img. i.d. And now we're talking about different things now, now we're talking about her using the n-word. Let's address it, okay? You're telling her that she can't speak through Twitter to her black friends that have allowed her to say that back and forth to them, specifically? Mind you, that is a private conversation had on a social platform. I can see the misconstrued insight on that. That being said, I have plenty of friends - Black, white, Asian, Indian, Korean - and we make fun of each other's races all the time. We call each other slurs all the time. We don't get butt-hurt at all, nah, because we know the actual person, we know who each other are, we know we're not trying to bring each other down. So what are y'all trying to get it? You're trying to prove that somebody who is not racist is racist? Nah, you don't have that power. There is no racist energy coming from this household at all. In fact, we're helping. Again, being part of the solution rather than the problem. I know, for sure, that all of our friends would speak up to say the same thing. They know who we are. We know we're not about bringing down other humans, at all, not even caring about any kind of colour or nothing. So y'all need to stop with that. And if you're breeding hate and throwing it our way, you're wasting your energy and you're wasting your time.

This comment was the impetus for the "Ryan is racist" narrative. The following day, Ryan once again returned to Instagram live for a shorter livestream in which he clarified previous comments. [Full transcript here]. I can't add anymore images but to quote him directly:

What up everybody. So after having some time to really think about it and really calm myself down, I felt I have to clarify certain things. Let me first start off by saying I do not condone the use of the n-word by any non-Black person, that includes all Latinos. That's not our word, alright? So that people that are coming after me, keep that same energy for Cardi B, Tekashi 6ix9ine, Fat Joe, all of them Latinos who've been using it for years upon years and getting passes from and by 50 Cent and whoever else and what-not and saying it in their music. Keep that same energy. That being said, let me clarify and address the real situation at hand: When I said slurs, I came from an angry place. I couldn't think straight and I misspoke. All that was going through my mind is seeing these comments about my girl and about my one-year-old son. Seeing death threats to my girl, seeing this foul-ass language about my one-year-old son. And I misspoke. I meant to say stereotypes, and do I condone stereotypes? Nah. Now amongst friends, can friends make fun of each other? Yes. That being said, I'm not here to bring anybody down, no race down. As far as my girl goes, using the n-word nine plus years ago, she was I don't even know how old. 16? I think she's grown as a woman. I think she has apologized for it. I remember her doing a tweet last night apologizing for it. And I don't condone her using it. We don't use that word in this household; it's not our word. I'm not here to take away from what the black community has gone through, or take something from them. I'm here to help them in any way, through support, through anything. So that being said, I apologize to those that I have offended, and misrepresented myself by using the wrong term. I stand by my "try, fail, learn, grow" state of mind and I will continue to grow, I will continue to help out the community. So hope everybody has a great day, enjoys their life, and let's help our black brothers and sisters going through this horrible, difficult time. Alright. Now have a good one.

After his livestream finished, big entertainment new companies such as Variety, EW, and TVLine began pushing the "Ryan is racist" narrative, fueled by Aisha, Rockmond, and Oliver's comments on Twitter made the following day.

Aisha:

[img. i.d.: A tweet from Twitter user RisingTom that says: Maybe we should ask his black castmates how they feel about this. @/AishaHinds @/ImAngelaBassett @/traciethoms @/RockmondDunbar Ryan stays completely silent during this movement then comes on to excuse his wife's use of racial slurs & admits he & his friends use slurs all the time. @/AishaHinds: How I FEEL daily is a perpetual state of GRIEF. There's sadly no version of this indefensible discourse that doesn't exascerbate that grief. There's legions of learned behaviors that need to be named and neutured [sic] so we don't continue to give life to them. May we know & DO BETTER.]

Rockmond:

[img. i.d.: Two tweets from @/RockmondDunbar: As a black man this should go without saying but just to make sure people in the back understand when I say this with my whole chest: I don't condone the shit. I don't like the shit. And I've never been one to allow the word to be used around me by any non-black person...cont 2ND Tweet: And any alleged 'black people' that are co-signing their non-black friends to refer to them in that way need their entire asses checked. Too much history, too much pain. Past and present. Shit is utterly unacceptable.]

Oliver:

[img. i.d. Two tweets from @/oliverstarkk: I know a lot of you want to hear my thoughts on what a cast member said today on IG live. I can tell you that my opinion is there is absolutely no excuse for the use of the n word. It belongs to the Black community only and I absolutely don't agree with it being used by... 2ND Tweet: ...anyone else under any circumstances.]

Ryan apologized again after that in one of his final posts on Twitter, and then alluded to the controversy (and his response to it) once more on Instagram on his 34th birthday.

Those are the facts. Now for my opinions.

The response to Ryan and the years of backlash that have followed (mostly from white people) are completely disproportionate to the situation at hand. The controversy wasn't even his to begin with, but at the point where he involved himself in it for the sake of his partner, everyone (Ryan's castmates, the greater public, the fanbase, and Ryan himself) quickly lost sight of who was initially at fault. I don't think Chrysti Ane should be raked over the coals for comments she made 10+ years later, but the fact of the matter is that Ryan showed more contrition and genuine apology and desire to do better in his multiple apologies than she did in hers. Chrysti Ane victimized herself in her apology; Ryan didn't. That makes a difference.

I have always maintained, and continue to maintain, that BIPOC are allowed to feel about him however they want to feel because BIPOC communities were, in essence, targeted. But I encourage everyone to know the facts before making or maintaining any sort of decision or judgement.

And to all white people who read this and still decide not to like him, please know that I do not trust you. I probably do not like you. Not only have you inserted yourself in a discussion you absolutely do not belong in for years, but any continued vilification of a man of color after learning all the appropriate context is transparent and deplorable. For years, I have watched people hide their blatant racism behind empty activism, but there's no excuse for that now.

Here is all the context.

BIPOC, do with this what you will. White people, please keep your mouths shut on the matter.

#jack.txt #ryan guzman #RG discourse #one and done #jack answers mail #this took three hours to write. my poor eyes.

404 notes · View notes

fishfrommars · 2 years

Text

MY IDEA OF HOW THE BATFAM TIMELINE GOES DOWN

(Based on what I have read. SPOILERS AHEAD FOR: REBIRTH, New 52, pride issue 2022, Robin 2021)

So does it go:

Batman becomes batman around age 25(?)

Flying Graysons die

Dick becomes Robin

Barbara becomes Batgirl

Dick stops being Robin

Dick becomes NightWing - has his Titans run, Chicago run, Blüdhaven run, etc. Boy is everywhere tbh.

Batgirl gets shot in the spine - becomes Oracle sometime

Jason becomes Robin

Jason dies

Batwoman in here somewhere(?) sorry Kate I have no idea when you start but it is in the beginning I know for sure :(

Dick and Bruce have a big fat fight *insert Batman slaps Robin meme* (i always thought it was about Jason when Bman slaps the bird but I think it's actually about Superman)

Tim and Bernard meet, their families are rich, etc they always end up at galas together, possibly the Waynes are there too...

Tim confronts Bruce and Dick about Batman and Robin

Tim becomes Robin

Tim's dad dies

Jason comes back, tho no one knows yet I think(?)

Timmy and Batman split up - cuz Bruce is a dick holy shit

Timmy is working with the Teen Titans

Jason tries to kill Timmy

Jason becomes mean Red Hood

Damian comes into town - which everyone (the three previous Robins) is mad about.

IDK when Stephanie becomes Robin but she is supposedly the fourth Robin - but becomes Batgirl and then Spoiler

There are two working Robins - Tim and Damian

Bruce goes missing - something about a time stream(???)

Dick chooses Damian to be his Robin - Timmy and Dick have a bigass fight

Everyone thinks Bruce is dead except Timmy

Connor dies

Steph dies(?)

Wally dies

(Holy shit Timmy's edgy time begins as he searches for Bruce) as Red Robin YUMMMM

Batman (Dick) catches Red Robin YUMMM (Tim) as Ra's al Ghul kicks him out a skyscraper window (holy fuck i loved that issue)

Bruce comes back - holy shit why does no one listen to Timmy

Jason forms the Outlaws(????)

Jason and Bruce reconcile (somewhere in here I am not sure where tho, suddenly Red Hood has a red bat on his chest and is occasionally out with the Robins and either only used rubber bullets or shoots people in the legs)

A little very short time passes where the batfam gets to hang out and do missions, which leads to the next event.

Damian dies

Wayne family fortune goes away(????) idk when it happens but here somewhere

Dick "dies" but the batfam doesn't know that he is an agent of Spiral

Batgirl comes back, Babs has her spine fixed with technology, so it works kinda like a conputer(????)

Damian comes back(?????)

Bruce loses his memory???

Dick comes back for a second - gets his stupid face punched by Jason, (timber and jaybird have been through a lot losing Damian, Bruce, and Dick in such a short time span holy shit) and he deserves it

Robin school(?????) (i did not finish the "Grayson" series so IDK what the frick that is about)

The world somehow forgets who Dick Grayson is through comic book magic????

Tim is back to being regular Robin(????) so there are two Robins?(???)

Alfred loses his hand (idk when this happens I just know it is in here somewhere)

Bruce's memory comes back

Dick gets shot in the head - honestly just... there are so many questions I had about this, the main one is why the fuck the Joker(s) are not dead yet, after everything they have done to the bats and the birds

Dick becomes Ric after losing his memory - we don't talk about it because - well - DC fucked up :/ (i have a lot of rants planned out for this tbh. Starting with how the bat fam treated Ric, and how after Nightwing went missing none of the bats decided Blüdhaven was worth defending, and how they did Bea dirty even tho she was an ideal partner to someone like Ric / Dick....)

Alfred dies

Robin - Timmy and Damian both in Gotham as Robins - i think Timmy is pretty independent at this point, also he is legally emancipated at this point so he doesn't answer to Bruce anymore...

Dick's memory comes back

Damian and Batman have a falling out(????) and Robin goes off on his own - the newest Robin (2021) series (which I totes recommend if you need to understand Damian a little more - also bonus all five Robins have a scene in it (issue 5 i think) and it is fantastic)

Fun fact all of the Robins have died by this point (though idk if Dick's counts cuz his heart did technically stop but there was no lazarus pit to bring him back just pure adrenaline shot to the heart...)

Tim and Bruce get along again?

Tim and Bernard go out after reconnecting (?????) new thing, waiting for the issue in August 2022 I think?

Tim gets shot in the neck(?????) new issue july 2022

Duke and Cass come into the picture as (?) Outsiders(????) i forget their group name I am sorry) So Spoiler, Signal, orphan now a team since Bruce adopted them I guess. Also Batwing is there (is that his name?) - it's Luke Fox, the guys who had a rescue mission and stole some cool Bat tech to get Bruce back after Talia kidnapped him (also a cool guy to check out. He is a good one to keep up with too. Butts heads with Bruce a lot when it comes to raising the bat babies - which GOOD).

Idk about you, but there is defs over 80 years worth of history here that is supposed to happen over the span of like 20 years (holy cow) and Bruce is supposedly supposed to pick up the mantle of Batman at around 25 or so, and a year and a half in he adopts 9 year old Dick Grayson. Holy shit these kids....

@ me if you think I forgot something or if I need to fix it :)

72 notes · View notes

hammity-hammer · 1 year

Text

15 questions, 15 tags

i was tagged by my dear @unclewaynemunson :)) thank you lovely!

(also please excuse my lengthy answers, i get really excited and write a lot lmfao- and some of the answers vaguely mention shitty parenting, not in depth but it is brought up if anyone gets uncomfy by that! (questions 2 & 3 specifically :p)

1. Are you named after anyone? nope! my Government Name™️ is amethyst, like the stone, but my ma just thought it was cool :p i prefer aj or ham, though! i do say that aj stands for apple juice, so i guess i could be named after apple juice :pp

2. When was the last time you cried? friday! i heard really sad news regarding how my younger brothers are being parented by my biodad and it! hurt to realize he's not breaking his cycle :,)

3. Do you have kids? nope! but i do treat my oldest younger brother(the 18yo i write about a lot) like he's my son bc we had some Rough Moments™️ as kids where i was like the parent

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? yes! but a lot of people don't realize it #thankyouautism

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? oooo,,,,,, it really depends? i really stare at people's lips bc i have auditory processing issues,, and apparently i recognize people based on their mouths?? but im inclined to say eyes because i like them? idk,,, lips or eyes!

6. What's your eye color? i have centralized heterochromia! (like a big portion of people tbh, but i still think it's neat) so my eyes are like,, hazel? but not green hazel, they're grey! on the outside part at least, and the inside is like a golden brown :p

7. Scary movies or happy endings? this is hard!! i really fucking love scary movies,, all of my favorite movies are scary! but i'm a sucker for a happy ending,,, i think,,,, i may have to go scary though!

8. Any special talents? idk if it's a talent but i can macrame necklaces? and i know spanish(fairly fluently, i'm really shy with it though), and am learning asl, which i think is pretty talented?? i also can decorate a cake?(pretty basically, but i know how to do some shitty roses and write!)

9. Where were you born? chicago! (indiana tho, it's like 15 minutes away from where i was born)

10. What are your hobbies? writing, drawing, watching tv, engaging with my local bdsm & queer community!! and getting tattoos and piercings<333 (i have 27 tattoos and like,,, 17? 18 piercings? idk anymore)

11. Do you have any pets? yes! i have one cat, my sweet lady Miss Rizz! i had a cat named flamer who recently had to take his forever sleep, and i miss him dearly. <3 (i'm writing a fic vaguely surrounding this idea that hopefully will be done this weekend!)

12. What sports do you play/have you played? none :)))))) unless you count,,, fishing?

13. How tall are you? i'm 5'8! which is around 173cm for my non american buddies :,)))))

14. Favorite subject in school? languages! i took four years of spanish, one of asl, and i adored my english classes! also, art and painting! and anatomy & physiology, and pathophysiology :) i'm a big human body nerd lmao (also i'm aware i shouldve chosen one but i have too many favorites to choose just one!)

15. Dream job? good question! i'm not sure, honestly. i always say being a piercer, but i tend to get bored rather quickly of jobs and i change a lot, hence why i know how to decorate cakes but also can tell you which alarm companies have a better monitoring service, and can also make a mean ass from-scratch smash burger. i think that when i went to college(i dropped out) my dream job was being a pathologist, and i honestly think that i might still want to do that? but owning a queer run/servicing primarily queer people piercing studio sounds really fucking enticing. i could go on a whole thing about body affirming piercing and the effect it has on queer people, and how we have modern day american piercing thanks to our queer predecessors, but that's nerdy and not what the question asked! so, final answer: either a pathologist, or an owner of a queer piercing shop :p

thank you so much for reading if you did!

i'm gonna tag @cheatghost @punkharringtxn @someforeignband @courtjestermunson @corrodedcorpses @riality-check @rhaenyyras @legitcookie @princessstevemunson @sidekick-hero @babygirlharrington @fagsculinity @harmonictechnicality @strawberryspence and anyone else who wants to do this! you can tag me <3

#get to know ham #pls excuse my lengthiness i cant help it #also if you wanna talk more ab anything i listed feel free to dm me!

22 notes · View notes

peaceesells · 10 months

Text

IM SORRT IVE BEEN INACTIVE IVE HAD ABSOLUTELY ZERO MOTIVATION-

Anyways I recently reread The Outsiders and it continues to be my favorite book since I read it in 7th grade so here's this quirky little story about being friends with the gang idk

Warnings: this is actually ass but I haven't written something in a while so take it and be grateful.

Can you tell Two-bit is my favorite 🧍‍♀��

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat on the Curtis's porch taking to Ponyboy. A cigarette lay between your fingers. You didn't hang around the gang much; you had your own group of friends but they didn't invite you to do much anymore so you started hanging out with Pony more, who means you hung out with the gang more.

I mean, you'd sometimes walk with Ponyboy and Johnny to the drive in and you hung out with Two-bit Alot in school and he'd sometimes drive you because you live a few houses down from him, and when you went to the gas station for a pop, you'd talk to Soda if he wasn't busy and Steve would hop into the conversation.

"Y/n, are you doing anything later?" Ponyboys voice interrupted your thoughts. "Uh, no, I don't think so. My mom's busy working." You took a drag of your cigarette, feeling the hot smoke burn your throat and fill your lungs.

"Wanna go to the nightly double with me, Johnny, and Two-bit later? They're not playing any interesting movies, but it's something to do." You nodded. "Yeah, sure, I think I'm gonna head home first." You stood up, throwing your cigarette to the floor and stomping out the remaining flame. "See ya Ponyboy." You smiled at him and walked off the porch, unlatching the chain linked gate and closing it behind you.

Your house isn't far from Ponyboys but it's definitely a walk. You kicked a stone across the sidewalk, the summer heat in Oklahoma was unbearable and your thick leather jacket that you always wore wasn't helping but you didn't feel like carrying it so you just dealt with the heat.

You finally made it back to your house, you threw your jacket on the couch and made your way to your room to get ready.

You and Two-bits headed out at the same time, so you walked together, you met up with pony and Johnny at the corner store. And you guys made your way to the drive-in, two-bit was going on about something none of you really understood. It started with him talking about something he had swiped and then it turned into whatever he was talking about now

You four hopped over the large chain-linked fence near the corner of the drive in where no one would see you. If anyone did, I don't think they'd even care, but you got in with no problems.

"I'm goin' to get some popcorn, come on y/n." Two-bit threw his arm over your shoulder playfully as you walked towards the building where they had snacks, he had noticed a few socs and he was talking about them, quite loud might I add. "Shut up Two-bit..." you mumbled, also looking looking at the socs, who were looking at both of you with an unamused expression.

"Aw they won't do nothin'" he had a stupid smirk on his face as he watched the socs mumble something before walking away, Two-bit chuckled and patted your head "see what did I tell ya, they ain't doin nothin, too many people around."

You made it to the concession stand and it just so happened that the socs Two-bit was bad mouthing had come in line behind you. 'Oh great, here we go..' you thought to yourself.

Two-bit had noticed them way before you did and he was keeping an eye on them. They didn't do much, but they were definitely talking, calling you greasers and any other thing they could think that would offend you. You just ignored them.

You finally got your cokes and popcorn, it felt like it took forever, especially with those socs behind you. They didn't shut up until you two had left. You were shocked that two-bit hadn't started cursing back at them. He's always finding an excuse to talk badly about socs. You tried not to think about it much though.

You guys found Johnny and Ponyboy and handed them their drinks and sat down, Two-bit sat beside Johnny and you sat beside Two-bit. The movie was pretty boring. You barely understood what was going on, but you all sat and watched, not silently, of course. You swore you four would get kicked out at any minute with all the noise you were making and the fact that people were telling you to shut up didn't help, but nothing happened.

You guys left after the first movie, you all found it pretty boring, even Ponyboy. So you guys left. You didn't want to call it a night, so you just walked around town, you ran into Tim Shepard. You'd never spoken to him before, but of course, the guys had. He was looking for Dally. He always seemed to be looking for Dallas Winston. You told him you hadn't seen him and Tim was gone.

"What does he want with Dallas?" You asked, looking over at Ponyboy, he just shrugged. "Dally probably stole something of Tim's or something, no big deal." Two-bit. chimed in. Johnny was silent like usual, he'd only said a few things that night. He walked with his hands in his jean jacket pockets.

You had basically walked around the whole town trying to find something to do. You guys had made your way back to your neighborhood though, and decided to take a break the in the lot. The summer night was cool, it felt good, especially since it was so hot earlier.

Ponyboy had to go home, it was almost his curfew and he didn't want to be on Darrys' bad side tonight. You all told him bye and goodnight, now it was just you, Johnny, and Two-bit. It was surprisingly peaceful, you had found an old box of playing cards you had left the last time you were at the lot with the gang and you started playing slapjack. You and Johnny weren't that good, Two-bit kept winning.

You don't know why you didn't hang out with them much. You always thought they found you annoying, but the gang actually seemed to enjoy your company. Probably because you were also a greaser, it made you happy that they liked you and they invited you to do stuff with them, they never made you feel left out like you're friends at school. This summer was definitely going to be fun..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#x reader #fanfic #ponyboy x reader #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #johnny cade x reader #two bit mathews #the outsiders x reader #the outsiders #tim shepard #this is terrible #i cant write

15 notes · View notes

rimouskis · 1 year

Note

it’s so crazy to me that people get married at 22 like. if you went to college you’ve basically just finished, if you didn’t you’ve been working as in adult for maybe three, four years and like. have you lived in your own long enough to really know how to take care of yourself???? have you lived w your partner long enough to know your relationship is compatible in that way??? granted i feel like most people who marry young are p religious which would prob nix the living together but still. you’ve barely been adults living w/out parents long enough to figure out who you are as an adult!!!!! idk getting married before like 25 seems SO crazy to me!!

I know, I feel the same. and like, again, huge caveat that I don't know everyone's life stories and if finding love young worked for you and led to your happily ever after I'm SO pleased for you and grateful you got to spend some formative years with the love of your life, etc. etc.

but like, based on my own personal experience: at 22 I didn't have any friends who were engaged. none, zilch, zero. I had some that were INTENDING to marry the person they were with, but they were waiting (for age, for jobs, for more financial stability) before popping the question.

at 25, I only had ONE friend who was engaged. still! and I think my numbers are maybe a bit skewed because the vast majority of my friend group is gay and I think we work on a slightly different time schedule than many straight couples, but it was like...

idk! I'm now older than my parents were when they got married! I've never had anything approaching a marriage-considerable relationship, even.

I think part of that has to do with where we are culturally right now (I'm speaking from an American perspective), and I think women's continued liberation and understanding that there exists more for us than just marriage and children means we're taking longer to explore life without those things!

like, if you're raised religious and you decide that yes, what you want in life is to marry and have children, that is what you want to pursue: then you have a very clear goal and objective in mind, lol. you can pursue that as soon as you're legally able! but if you are waffling on that decision, or if you're like me and decided you don't want it, you just have to explore and figure out what you do want, and to someone who's exploring, it feels really drastic to legally/financially commit yourself to another person when you're only relatively recently freed of the set-life-path of k-12 schooling.

I'm suuuuch a big proponent of living some of your life by yourself, too. just trying it out! I give my dad grief for never having lived alone ever lol. he lived with his family, then roommates, and then my mom, and I'm like: ok pal lol talk to me when you can run a household SOLO ahahaha.

11 notes · View notes

ashey-did-owt-wrong · 1 year

Text

Its autism week here (idk if its international but trust me) so let me say why I hate it. For context I was diagnosed when i was about 9, and [didn't] tell many people at all. It's never too obvious, I don't think.

In about year 9 (13-14y/o), I had a PSHE (Physical, Social, Health Education i think) lesson where we were learning about autism. I had no fault with the lesson, and it was fine even though we had a supply teacher.

It was during lockdown, so there were so many supply teachers coming and going, none ever really stayed more than a couple of weeks.

We were learning about autism and it was all fine and then the fucking halfwit of a supply went

"And [Sjem] here has autism so can we please be respectful"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I dont remember it too well i dont think i said anything.

after that basically everyone knew and there was no way i could keep anyhting quiet. Its not actually awful because its a good school, good friends, good people there. I never got bullied or owt for it, and I didnt see that supply ever again and never really did a proper complaint.

theres probably an important moral to the story but im shite at that so idk make it up yourself

#autism #bloody useless fucking supply teacher #i mean im sure autism week is great but i hate learnign about it #idk maybe im glad everyone knows especially cos everyones so nice #means i dont ahve to hold any secrets

8 notes · View notes

theghostofashton · 8 months

Note

hey neha! question for you this fine saturday (for me, it's like 25 degrees celcius I am LIVING) 1) how is the weather where you are 2) what was your favourite past time/hobby/activity as a child and 3) what is your favourite past time/hobby/activity now?

hi lola! thank you for the ask! <3

it is just starting to cool down a bit where i am, finally. it's dropped to the 50s the past couple nights (around 13ish C, i believe?) and it's been around the high 70s in the day (23-25 C, so very similar to what you have!) it's beautiful i am also living!! i'm so ready for fall weather, i've had enough of the heat. the first week of september hovered around the high 90s (34-35 C i think?) which was..... horrific, so this is definitely needed lol

at the risk of sounding boring and predictable..... my favorite hobby as a child was reading. i was that kid who lived at the library, whose parents had to eventually put a limit on how many books she could check out a week because i annoyed them about taking me literally every day, the kid who bragged about reading over 50 books in a summer to anyone who would listen and sailed through all those summer reading library challenges with ease. and then i found fanfiction when i was 10-11 and my whole world felt like it transformed with how much more stuff there was for me to read. i loved the escapism of it, but also the lack of rules. it was so cool to me that authors had so much power to write their stories however they wanted and it inspired me like nothing else, that's why i started writing too.

w all this in mind it is no surprise i went into publishing and work with books as my actual job lol but i will talk about something else for variety so !!

when i was in middle school i fell in love with running. i come from a Sports Family (my brother played soccer and tennis growing up, i swam, tried failed at basketball field hockey and tennis, and eventually fell into running) so they've always been lowkey on my radar. i kinda fell out of running in high school and college (courtesy of depression lol), but when the pandemic hit i decided to pick it back up, and i have not stopped. it's genuinely one of my favorite things ever which i know may make me sound like a weirdo because most people hate running lol but !! idk it makes me feel so free. i do it bc i love it so much, it truly feels like "me-time". i also live in my hometown atm and over the past few years it's been so much fun to watch the seasons change through the trees and leaves falling and flowers blooming. being out there almost every day means i notice when new flowers appear or a tree that had all its leaves the day before has none, and it's been just.... nice? really grounding, i think. so that is one of my favorite hobbies, a little slice of peace i'd say.

#this was so fun thank u for the ask!!#answered #welcometololaland

3 notes · View notes

thecoolertails · 8 months

Text

did anyone else play ultimate tag as a kid? it's like normal tag but every player is '"it" and when you're tagged you sit down and can't tag anyone, until the person who tagged you got tagged and then you can get back in the game. there were a few years in elementary school where during every recess almost everyone out there (it was kind of a small school, probably between 100-150 in the whole thing and there were two different recesses so it was probably around 40-60 kids?) would play one big game of ultimate tag together in the field.

people would make alliances with their friends to not tag each other, get each other up when they were down, and work together to tag other players. some kids opposed this and thought it went against the spirit of the game but most people did it (because usually you're not going to want to tag your friends anyway and obviously you're going to want to hang out with them during recess -- also, it really didn't offer an unfair advantage, and the best players were all lone wolves). obviously some kids were faster and better at the game and would get more people down than others, but this was balanced out by the fact that the more people a single player has tagged, the bigger a target they became for the other remaining players on the field. the goal of that was in part to get their friends back in the game, but also for the glory of being the one to take them down.

cheering for people to tag the person who tagged you gave you something to do while you were waiting to get back in, but other than that you'd still usually just be hanging out with your friends in the grass and watching the game which was still fun. and if you got bored you could always just go do something else. since most people were playing ultimate tag, it usually meant that the swings and structures weren't crowded (side note: god i miss swings. swinging was so fun)

since it was recess rather than gym class and the game was self-governed, and each player was the one holding themselves accountable for following the rules, there would occasionally be cheaters who would get up when the one who tagged them still hadn't been tagged, but this really didn't happen that often. i can only remember like, one kid ever doing that, and i feel like she didn't keep playing the game for very long because people aren't going to want to go after someone who isn't playing by the rules, and if someone's supposed to be down and tags you the general response was to just keep playing because their tagging is invalid by nature of the game anyway.

there were other game fads (like kickball) but none of them were as widely played together by so many of the kids as ultimate tag was. idk how common kickball is as a game but if you don't know it, it's basically baseball but instead of using a baseball and a bat it's a dodgeball and your foot. the main problem with kickball is that it had a higher skill and learning curve, and it was a LOT more competitive. the fact that you had to rely on your teammates being good at the game to win made the atmosphere a lot more negative and a lot less fun. another fad was four-square, but the problem with that was only four kids are actually able to play at a time, while everyone else waits in line.

the best thing about ultimate tag is it wasn't about winning at all. the only way you could feasibly "win" ultimate tag would be if one person managed to tag every single other participant in the game, which just never happened. doing that wasn't even the goal, anyway. the goal was just to play the game. there was no limit on the amount of players so people weren't excluded based on popularity or skill, and being out wasn't so bad because for all you know, you could get back in at any moment -- rather than having to just stand around and wait for your turn. nobody had a reason to care if you were bad at it, either. and even if you were, you could still have fun. plus, less people would be targeting you if you had gotten less people down, so it kind of had a natural scaling difficulty.

idk. it was a good game

#im just reminiscing #my posts #let's all play ultimate tag together

3 notes · View notes

bonebirds · 1 year

Note

im not trying to start anything i'm just curious when you said people are doing the work to make the internet safer etc what do you mean??

I'm not trying to start shit either, I'm just tired of absorbing it tbh.

I'm also drained to shit and tired and idk how coherent this is going to be but I need something to gnaw on, so, dear anon!

Discussions of child abuse and etc. under the cut but nothing specific/detailed.

In a very, very general sense, I was talking about cybersecurity writ large -- very passionate, very smart furries people are constantly trying to futureproof the internet and make it safe to use. But that is happening at a massive scale -- governments, policies, standards, corporations who are responsible for the data and securing it, etc. etc.

There are also those who advocate for, and try to teach people how to be safe online and protect their information/self/friends/etc. I went for a walk earlier and it did strike me that I might be incredibly lucky to have been born when I was -- I think I'm one of the last generations who went through a school curriculum where I grew up that included basic internet safety, because the internet was very new and there was an actual concerted push to protect minors using it. Internet literacy was a thing. Lying was expected to keep yourself safe. I told so many people I was 25 when I was like, 9. Real names and all that shit we're so used to now, that whole web 2.0 shift to social media (imagine me putting airquotes around that entire phrase pls) changed a lot about the web. I think if you grew up just baked in it, it's harder to step back and look at and be like, the fuck happened? but. The fuck did happen.

But the other things I was thinking of are ones like Project Arachnid. Or the folks behind this: Inside the Bitcoin Bust That Took Down the Web’s Biggest Child Abuse Site.

(There's another anon I just deleted who asked what ~*I personally do other than scold people*~ and I will say that a year ago I contacted Arachnid, asked where I would have to go career wise to end up working with them, and changed my fucking career to ops/cybersec. Don't tell me I am not doing shit, lmao.)

But there are dedicated professionals constantly, constantly trying to keep everyone safe from actual malicious actors. And it is not a straightforward problem when you're dealing with issues of privacy, data security, transparency, and technology that is upgrading fast enough I had to take a crash course in fucking quantum computing a couple years ago.

None of that has anything to do with what people on this site go at each other for. Which is why I sit here and look at the fucking tides of vitriol and bullshit in the name of "protecting kids" over ships, fucking fictional ships they equate as 1:1 with horrendous abuse and damage, and go, just... no. That is not where the fight is happening for anyone, not really. And like I said, you can take that actual, valid, real concern for people's safety and actually do something concrete to help. (That said, this ain't about those who just don't want to see it for their own safety and health -- you gotta protect yourself that way, too! If it's a trigger, it's a trigger!)

But whatever the fuck is happening here on social media is not the fucking fight.

#nothing against furries #that post about how furries make the internet go is correct #long post #I'M SORRY I CAN'T SHUT UP #the news about Florida also broke while I was typing this and I am going to go drink a lot but #lmjs that is not the fucking solution either

3 notes · View notes

jellybracelet · 1 year

Note

1-70 for the ask thing 😋

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yes. I'm very, very grateful.

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

Cat

03: Do you regret anything?

Usually

04: Are you insecure?

Why. Do I seem it

05: What is your relationship status?

Bad

06: How do you want to die?

Unembarrassingly

07: What did you last eat?

Dried figs

08: Played any sports?

All Star cheer, school cheerleading, track and field/pole vault, cross country, college club gymnastics. Honorable fail mentions to basketball and soccer... Not meant for balls, yo

09: Do you bite your nails?

Not anymore, but my hands are usually in my mouth, which is supposed to mean something.

10: When was your last physical fight?

None as an adult. I did go through a punching walls phase but my meds mellowed me right out...

11: Do you like someone?

I would do anything to have a crush on someone right now. Having a crush is so fun

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

I've gone over 4 days without sleeping before 🫠

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

Just some random evil people in the world. Nothing personal

14: Do you miss someone?

Yeah

15: Have any pets?

Mocha

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

Idk

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

Do you know that feeling when you're at a really loud party and you close the door to the bathroom and the music gets all muffled and you see someone's reflection in the mirror and separate from your body? I think it's really rude to hog the bathroom at a party.

18: Are you scared of spiders?

Less than normal amount

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

I'd start over

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

SNOGGED. . . ?

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

Laundry, rock climbing, run a 5k, pack for my work trip

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

I wish... 2 or 3

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

Holes that are currently open on my body: 10 ear piercings and 1 belly button piercing

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

Philosophy

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yes

26: What are you craving right now?

I could eat everything in the entire world every single day, but I won't.

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

I'm not sure because I've been informed that I'm unaware

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

Not particularly

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

I wish

30: What’s irritating you right now?

Dish sitting next to me

31: Does somebody love you?

Yes

32: What is your favourite color?

Green

33: Do you have trust issues?

I have this thing called being crazy where sometimes I think everyone is lying to me or maybe my sister really gaslights me. It's a tricky situation we got here

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

I don't do that

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Cat

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

My life isn't really that dramatic so shit like that doesn't happen

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

Forgor bc I have memory problems. I don't mind forgiving either. As Lauren Conrad said, "I wanna forgive you, and I wanna forget you."

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

Ten (I was a little slore when I was a kid)

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

Gross

Is anyone gonna talk about how there's no 41 through 50?

51: Favourite food?

I don't have one bc I'm an adult.

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

What a terrible thing to think.

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Moisturized my feet ten times

54: Is cheating ever okay?

I just had this argument with my sister thirty minutes ago omg

55: Are you mean?

Unfortunately

56: How many people have you fist fought?

LMFAO probably just my little sister

57: Do you believe in true love?

I can't think about that

58: Favourite weather?

Different weather for different activities. Jogging is 55-65, beach is 80+, walking around is 60-70

59: Do you like the snow?

I thought I didn't until it stopped happening

60: Do you wanna get married?

😣😦

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

Yes

62: What makes you happy?

Moving my body

63: Would you change your name?

Yes

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

Probably bc I don't really drink anymore

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Fall in love with them or use it to my advantage. jk. This hasn't happened since I was like 12

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

I used to

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

The phrasing of these questions is so funny and 2012. my contortion teacher? Lol

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My therapist. 🤢 I don't think deep conversations or introspection or reflection is even good for you (genuine).

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

No.

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

Not yet. That's too much of a burden to put on someone else.

#thanks for the ask!#long post

4 notes · View notes

baolinagasy · 1 year

Text

I posted 1,259 times in 2022

That's 1,224 more posts than 2021!

5 posts created (0%)

1,254 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

yellow-yarrow

revacholianpizzaagenda

brennisteinnexe

spectrumcore

doodle-shenanigans

I tagged 1,254 of my posts in 2022

#disco elysium - 504 posts

#fanart - 276 posts

#harry du bois - 243 posts

#art - 236 posts

#text - 220 posts

#kim kitsuragi - 186 posts

#inspiration - 115 posts

#capitalism - 86 posts

#news - 72 posts

#mood - 65 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#remember when in the sea fortress he'll scold harry saying he told him not to turn on the music even tho he didn't? what an ass lmao love it

My Top Posts in 2022:

crash

0 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

Perception, composure!

Oh, thanks for asking! Always happy to ramble about that game. I'm going to put it under a read more, because I'm looking at it and it's a bit long haha.

perception: what (quote, character, moment) made you feel most Seen?

My God, there are so many... Let's start with moments. Eastern european fans of the game often mention how they never felt like they ever had true representation in media until they played that game. I'm not eastern european at all, but I feel the same. I'm from a third world country and there is something about Martinaise, well Revachol in general, that feels like home. It's the little things, like seeing old men playing pétanque outside (something I literally saw all the time growing up, pétanque is one of our national sports and one of the few where my country has won international competitions lmao), buildings that no one care if you break into, or the fact that nothing really gets cleaned up so people just learn to live in rumbles, or that quiet feeling that you don't really matter. Idk, I guess I just know what it feels like to live in a country that is governed by a foreign power, a country that will never matter much on the international scale. History is being made by important, larger-than-life people and you're not one of them. A soft feeling of nihilism that other people find sad but you are just used to it. That's life! It isn't so bad.

This goes for the characters, too. Almost all of them hits a chord in me. I could write a fucking essay about what Harry means to me. Same goes for Kim (his aloofness, the way he takes care of saying as little as possible about himself, his difficulties to connect with people or with emotional matters, ... aaaaaaaaa). But honestly, even the NPCs are just... god fucking dammit. I know them! I see myself in them, and even if I don't, I see people I know in them! Klaasje reminds me of a girl I deeply care about (but had to ultimately stay away from), the Hardie boys talk and act like the guys I went to high school with, my childhood bestfriend can be bitchy with everyone just like Cindy (she is also an artist practicing in vandalism)... They are all so fucking human! None of them are really good, but none of them are completely bad either. They are humanly imperfect, the rising ape meeting the falling angel.

As for the quote... Again, so many speak to me (I always get chills when I talk with the Deserter, for example). But I will just leave this one, since it is one that made me feel seen, and this is what this ask is about. It's a dialogue Harry can have with Adele about her tape recorder:

"I'm sorry you have to sit here on the ice with the drugs wearing off. At your age -- or at any age -- in this weather... waiting for it to get dark. [...] The people who built this world intended it to be better for you, but they failed. It is easier to live in their failure with this by your side. (Tap on the tape recorder.) It is not a childish fantasy. It can be a real weapon against what's coming for you now." "What is…?" Her shoulders shake a little. "Nothing, if you got this. Don't be scared."

I guess Disco Elysium is my own little tape recorder now :)

composure: would you rather sit on an anthill for an hour or stand in a river of leeches?

Probably the anthill. Most ants are chill, they would just come out from another hole in the ground. Also, I find them cool. I wouldn't mind having them crawl all over my body. Leeches, on the other hand, WILL suck your blood and I hear they are hard to remove. Such an interesting question, but I wonder why it's in a DE ask game haha

6 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

Encyclopedia, Interfacing?

Hey, thanks for asking! Wasn't expecting an ask so soon, haha

encyclopedia: what’s your favourite niche piece of lore?

There are so many tidbits of lore that just get off-handedly mentioned and then you don't get to know more about them... If I had to choose one, it would be Ubi Sunt? Just the name is funny to me, but also to know that there is an island that is just floating in and off the pale... makes me insane. What does it look like? People live there, how are their lives impacted by their close proximity to the pale? I'm fascinated by Elysium in general tbh.

interfacing: what’s your favourite aspect of the game mechanics?

Definitely the skills. I love how much they impact the game, both in a good and a bad way. On my second playthrough, I could really feel the absence of the skills I had in my first one. I'd rather have a skill failure than no skill check at all. It feels weird when they don't chime in. Also I love them and their little personalities. I never want them to shut up. I'm considering making a playthrough where I cheat and get all the skills at level 6 so I could have them argue non-stop in Harry's head.

6 notes - Posted October 27, 2022

I am legit heartbroken over this news... They put their heart into this, they created something so good, so sincere, and it was stolen from them.

I am thankful that this game was made at all, that at least this little miracle exists and will never stop existing. But I’m also so upset, so mad to once again witness talent and passion getting crushed under the heel of capitalism.

I will still look forward and give support to whatever projects they make next. I wish them all the best. And I’ll try to stay inspired by their work and keep creating myself.

11 notes - Posted October 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“I see the capital making statements and thus I am compelled to make statements in turn, which gives me a wonderful opportunity to discuss the story, the ‘making of’ of the game, the characters and destiny central to it in a more sombre manner than may be customary for the industry.

[...]

In short, Robert was fired from the company whose heart and seed he was due to claims of ‘creating a toxic workplace environment’. Having worked at the company remotely in the summer of 2021 I can say things were truly not all right at the company, but I would say it is much more plausible that the toxic environment was created instead by the upper management and blamed on Robert. I have seen a similar situation before. The idealist workaholic does not pay attention to people’s psychological needs as the conspirator does and thus he will at most times be outplayed.

[...]

What happened to Robert was what happens to most talented people that get any recognition in our age — he got manipulated by psychopaths. And the people that have been railed up against him and his entourage, they have also been manipulated by psychopaths so it doesn’t really make anything much better if we get mad at them. Robert trusted people that got him fired completely before they got him fired. He thought they are his friends. This is a major ‘red check failure’ really.

[...]

To end on a more positive note, Robert said some months ago that he is confident about one day writing Elysium again. I would take him at his word. Many have also asked me how they could contribute. There are two main resources any person has, which are time and attention, and any ‘Disco fan’ has already chosen to give them to the game and its creators, the situation around the game. Be confident that you will do what needs to be done when you see it.

Revachol forever.

The full article is very interesting to read, I just tried to highlight the most “important” information, but really the whole post is worth a read.

Also Kaur Kender and Tõnis Haavel are directly mentioned by name.

60 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #remove the @ because i don't want to bother people lol #damn normally i don't post a lot but 2022 is the year of the disco elysium brainrot and it SHOWS #tumblr

2 notes · View notes

trashlie · 2 years

Note

Please tell me about your shoujo journey. Do you think Skip Beat will outlast ILY? 😂 The pacing is on a whole other level of slow, I gave up on it, two decades running and Kyoko's only aged a year damn! I understand the frustration with the flashback, it is quite sluggish, but we're seeing the true impact Alyssa had on Shinae's trust, how it affects her relationship with Nol now, and what it means for them in the future. Plus we're getting some vital Alyssa content. I feel like she's become even more ambiguous to me. I have no idea where her head is at. I miss reading your analysis. I'd love discuss to her with you after the arc ends and we get our long awaited Shinae x Nol moment. It's been so loooong since we've seen them.

OOOOOHHHHHHH MY GOD ANON LMAO that question just made me pause HARD lmaooooooo. Listen. For alllllll the shit people say about ILY, I just feel it in my BONES that Skip Beat will outlast EVERYTHING lmaoooooooooooo GOD. Like, I'm sorry but ANY TIME people talk about slow pacing I'm just like.... I'll read this whole 30, 50? page chapter and WHAT HAPPENS? HOW MUCH TIME PASSES? NONE! lmao I like to do an annual "catch up" on Skip Beat now and then (when I remember lol). Like I LOVE that the mangka made it about more than just Kyoko's love life but also MAN each acting project is literally years long for us as readers!!!!!!!! lmao thanks to Skip Beat I have the patience to weather ANYYYYTHIIIIIIING hahahahahaha. Taking three months to get through a flashback arc? I can handle it! ILY could take 10 years to reach completion and I'd be, frankly, okay, because at least it could wrap up faster than Skip Beat ever could LMAO (and honestly like... 10 years of solid story telling is pretty ace in my book but that's a whole other thing lmao)

As for my shoujo journey, I'll be honest, it's not SUPER long! I didn't start reading manga until I was graduating high school, so by the time I started to dig into things, after some time I found myself growing out of it? Or, rather no it was more like... there's just a lot of tropes that were present in shoujo I was finding I wasn't into? (Like, oh my god so many triangles where I'd be like MEH I actually prefer the second lead. I learned very fast that a lot of your typical "first leads", at least back in the day, were NOT my style.) I still have a soft spot for a lot of stories that I loved, though! I haven't read Lovely Complex since god probably 2014, 2015? But I STILL loved it back then and I'm really eager for a re-read. I uh.... I really went through a Hirunaka no Ryuusei phase? Like.... lmaoooo it was a Big Thing for me hahhaha (I own the series in Korean, actually!!!!) My first two manga, though, were Skip Beat and Hana Kimi; my friend bought me the first Skip Beat volume at our school book fair and another friend bought the first few volumes of Hana Kimi and shared them with me! Hana Kimi is one of those that like.... you know it doesn't hold up over time, it leans heavily on tropes that are considered ethically nonos these days, but it stays special to me because in spite of all of that, idk I just! Enjoyed it! And now that I'm older I am okay saying "I LIKE THIS THING THAT IS FLAWED AND IMPERFECT AND I DO NOT NEED TO DEFEND IT" lol you know? There was the obligatory Vampire Knight phase that I finally fell out of but OOOF that was A Thing. (I was SO obsessed with it at first lol and I LOVED the art sooooo much that I read another series by the mangaka, MeruPuri which, frankly, was REALLY weird so nothing about Vampire Knight actually surprised me ngl LMAOOOOOO) You know I remember once starting Special A but I do not think I ever finished that! I put myself all the way through Ao Haru Ride even though I kept telling myself I needed to drop it and pretend it didn't exist. God what a trainwreck that one was lol like.... idk I'm not saying this as a dig to people who did enjoy it! There were just times I wanted to enter that story and punch people lmaoooo but I wonder what I would think if I went back and read it again now in the vein of like.... sometimes people are selfish and make bad choices because they are human? lol I also REALLY loved Orange but I'm going to admit I haaaaaaaaaaaaaated the ending and to this daaaaaay I haaaaaaaaaaaated it so much but that's a whole other post lol. LOVED the story, LOVED the art, was super into the theme, but just hated the execution of the ending SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH ;A;

lol I said it's not super long but look at me, rambling on and on!

I know no one is surprised that I wound up talking A LOT and just.... following, there's so much ILY rambling going on about why I appreciate and enjoy this flashback arc, and how I think it boosts the rest of the story so far lol so here's a read more, haaaha.......

I definitely feel you on how Alyssa feels even more ambiguous lol which is so funny. I love the insight and having a better idea of who she is as a person, even if we still don't fully know all of her motives. Just seeing her as a complex character like everyone else has been great. We all know I'm a sucker for parallels lol and seeing how everyone has their own traumas, that everyone has a root for who they are, is the stuff that keeps me hooked on ILY. Alyssa was very easily written off by people and I don't defend her or anything - I really hope we get to see her take responsibility for her actions and ownership for the hurt she has caused, whether on purpose or not - but also, it always felt like she was suuuuuuuper reduced down by fandom on a whole. I think a very human thing quimchee is good at capturing is that we don't always mean to hurt the people we do, but it still happens, and that sometimes good intentions can make things worse in the longrun - and this can go for Alyssa towards Nol or Shinae, frankly.

Honestly, too, something I love about her is like... like you know how if you read a novel, the protagonist is supposed* to be the character who makes the right choices and does good things? And when people are presented an "unlikable protagonist" it's usually a character who is acting on their emotions and responding to their experiences - it's a character making the choices that we ourselves might make. (* I'm saying "supposed" here because a protagonist DOESN'T have to make the right choices, but it turns out people really hate media where female characters make selfish choices lmaoooo) I guess that's what I like seeing about Alyssa in this flashback. I've seen a lot of people say that Alyssa is weak for caving to peer pressure or something but like... was that not the middle school experience? I don't know a lot of people who were super self-assured and full of confidence in middle school - but especially someone in Alyssa's position who has never really interacted with kids her own age and is so afraid of ostracization. Like a lot of the woven storylines of ILY, something I love is that we are shaped by our experiences, right? Most people never faulted Shinae for shutting down and putting up strong defenses when we first met her in the story, because we know she'd been screwed over by life and people and as people who have been there before, we understand self-preservation tactics. She even basically admits it herself that she WANTED to open up to people. Shinae wasn't guarded because she hated people, she lied to herself because of how much she'd been hurt and she was afraid to take that chance again and try it. Shinae is afraid to be burned, Alyssa is afraid for people to ever have a chance to burn her. It's so inherently HUMAN to be afraid of being alienated, to want to BELONG, to want to feel like you fit in. She faces a daily crisis in how she is desperate to belong with people who might not accept her if they knew what she was truly like.

And idk, I cannot fault her for that completely, because it took me until my early-to-mid-20s to learn to be okay on my own and that it was better to be myself than try to fit in where I wasn't wanted. I put up with shitty friendships for a long time because I had myself convinced that it was all worth it. So a middle schooler struggling with this is SO VERY real, and it's wild to me to see people fault her for this. Alyssa has done some things worth being mad about, but seeing her written off for being a human middle schooler is WILD to me.

That's a whole other tangent LOL but it's something I haven't really gotten around to ever talking about. Like, whatever, I cannot - and I won't even try lol to - convince people to like Alyssa, but frankly, I think all of the characters of ILY are SO dimensional and fascinating, how can I not enjoy exploring parts of their story? I think sometimes people think that if I say "I enjoy a character" it means I endorse everything they do. I DO like Kousuke and Alyssa. Would I want to be their friends? Good grief, no. But I'm here as an observer of a story and I think it's fascinating to see how their experiences bring about the circumstances of this story. That moment of dramatic irony when Alyssa promises that she won't stop being Shinae's friend, but we know how it all ends, we all know that's a promise she does not keep, and we know how those events affect Shinae and much of the story that unfolds!

how it affects her relationship with Nol now

I feel like this is something that doesn't come up a lot? Or maybe I just missed any period of fandom when they might have discussed it? Like.... if Shinae hadn't been burned like this by Alyssa, she wouldn't carry the paranoia she does - not about Maya and Rika and certainly not about Minhyuk. Even to this day, we saw that Shinae worries that even the people she trusts are humoring her - because she's been there, she trusted someone who hurt her. The entire trajectory of her relationship with Nol would be completely different! A really beautiful aspect of Nol and Shiane's friendship to me is not just that he managed to make Shinae open up - it's that now that we know how Shinae lied to herself, how she was hurt in the past, how trusting people burned her so badly - but the fact that despite everything she'd been through, she WANTED him to be someone she could trust, she WANTED him to be worth letting down her guard.

Like, again!!!!! Everything that happens in this story only does so because of circumstances and events that precede it. Shinae going to Nol's school was not just because she wanted to check on and see her friend - she was desperate to prove herself wrong, desperate for Nol to prove that he was worth the chances she took, that trusting him was not another mistake she knew better than to make.

I think a flashback arc shows us more than just insight into her relationship with Alyssa, which we've established was something very important, something special that was destroyed. It's the juxtaposition of pre-accident Shinae, who was willing to open herself up, who was plucky and bullheaded and just wanted to be appreciated it. Contrast that with the Shinae we meet early in the story, who has herself convinced it's okay to be alone, when now we know she was yearning to be appreciated, maybe yearning for someone to fight for her the way she fought for Alyssa but believed that something like that wasn't possible. I think we also see the flashback because while we've seen some of the ugly moments of Shinae's life, we never really saw how we went from this point to that point, you know? How there are small pockets of things in her life that make her want to keep believing in what she knows better than to believe - in teachers who listen to her when she tells the truth, in friends who stand up for her and defend in - even as her life starts to crumble. She can't escape her past, she's literally being haunted by it, even as she tried to put it all behind her. Her father is falling more and more into alcoholism due to stress from school plus his job, and soon he's going to be saddled with medical bills and having to take care of Shinae, which is probably what derailed school completely. THESE are the experiences that made the Shinae we know - a Shinae who is TERRIFIED of being hurt but also LONGS to be proven wrong, a Shinae who wants to share an experience she thought maybe she doesn't deserve, a Shinae who quietly believed maybe the universe just wanted to punish her for existing but still tries so hard to defy it.

Idk like yes we get that sense of Shinae without the backstory, but I think it really emphasizes this so much more? And I think it's also some kind of proof, maybe, that Alyssa IS more important than people have given her credit for, not just in the past but also in the future of the story. She doesn't exist just to move plot and drive wedges between relationships or something lol she, too, a complex character with complex experiences and god isn't that the sum of so many moments of people headbutting? That we are complex and sometimes struggle to see beyond our own issues, because what we deal with blinds us? Alyssa is blinded by her desire to escape her family and experience something NORMAL and be liked. Maybe she DOES want attention! Kousuke is blinded by a sense of destiny instilled in him since he was young, blinded by paranoia that fed off of this "destiny", blinded by his inability to accept his father's human nature, blinded by his fear that the only thing that makes him matter to his father is threatened. We met Nol thinking he was a character who looked out for others but even he's been blinded by his misery and by the feelings of worthlessness that has been punched down into him.

We butt heads with people because sometimes we are so caught up in our own struggles that it's hard to understand that others struggle, too, and I think that's where some of the best conflict comes. Like yeah there's good conflict in "Shinae has been roped into attending this horrible formal" but there's something poignant and painful in "Shinae unintentionally repeated the Alyssa cycle when she let Nol in" and even BETTER we get to see how she's grown from it!

This is, as always, lmao a very rambling tangential departure from the main point lol but!!!!! I have had a lot of feelings here and I know part of peoples' irritation is they want to get back to Nol and Shinae right now, but I think seeing Shinae's past helps create even MORE appreciation for what Nol means to her - that he is someone who hurt her but she is still willing to give another chance - and moreover, that we can see that though Shinae came from a loving home, she, too, has suffered her own abuse, was battered and beaten down by people, and unlike Nol, she was able to conclude it doesn't make her bad. Idk it's so beautiful to me and I get really overwhelmed lol it makes me appreciate their friendship SO MUCH more, for what they mean to each other and what they can be, you know? Seeing Shinae's resilience, through the new girl at middle school hoping to start all over to failing at that to putting up that guarded wall to finally taking a chance, finally giving in and accepting that yes, she still has hope, there's still faith, and Nol was that spark. UGH!

ANYWAY lol I do think we are probably nearing the end of this flashback arc. I don't know how many episodes I think remain - I generously said less than 10 a week or two ago lol but I think that was very generous. The timeline (and Alyssa's behavior) feels like we are approaching the point of Alyssa pushing Shinae and YES i will be so happy to go over the whole arc with you!!! I've been wanting to make a post that I keep holding off on, because I don't know if it would be better to do it now or wait for the whole arc to end, but I think there's a good conversation to be had about how a lot of Alyssa's behavior is directly tied to her homelife - how it's implied her father is someone who, at the very least, shouts a lot - and how that ties into her deflective, people-pleasing nature. Again, Alyssa is not really a spineless, MEAN-spirited person. She, like everyone else, is just the sum of her experiences, and I don't think she's learned to deal with them in a healthy way. (And frankly speaking, what about her relationship with Nol IS healthy anyway?)

I know this is so much more than you bargained for lol but you KNOOOOWWWW I love these asks and it HAS been so long since I got to just.... ENTHUSE about this - not just try to analyze or talk about what an episode has revealed but just GUSH about it lol so I could not help myself! But yes, once this arc ends, I will be READY to dissect and discuss EVERYTHING. I feel so emotionally invested, knowing that Shinae is about to experience the worst burn of her life, while she's still so trusting and earnest and aaaahhhhhhhh it's going to HURT so much ;~; But in a maybe cathartic way. (Also, and this is something I should get to later, I think something big about this flashback is that, y'know, it's kind of implied that Shinae has repressed a lot of this. Her memories of the moment are hazy, Alyssa appeared in a series of people Shinae was shocked to realize she harbored so much anger towards. I think as much as this is for US to see exactly what happened, I think it's also kind of a wake up call for Shinae, who has repressed and ignored so much of this, and I'm really REALLY curious to see how she reacts after return to the present. Is she angry? Sad? Sad for her younger self? Is it cathartic for her? How raw is it? Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh)

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #Shinae Yoo #Alyssa Cho #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #lol what was my nol tag? I just gotta create one for him i swear!#GOD it's been so long since I just gushed and rambled lol I AM SO SORRY FOR HOW MUCH I WROTE i do not know how to restrain myself #also just talking about shoujo again!!!!!!! i haven't really read a lot in a long time but i'd be liking if i pretended it wasn't a #sort of formative foundation you know? part of what was so fun about early ILY was the homage it paid to shoujo manga before it evolved #i'm sure i left off LOTS of manga too #i randomly think about heroine shikaku because i don't think there were many manga i saw as far through as that one that i HATED as much #LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #IT WAS A COOL CONEPT AND IT WAS SO FOILED AND DISAPPOINTED?! i love the idea of girl believes she's the heroine of her life but SIKE SHE'S #NOT and has to learn to resolve that and yknow LET GO OF THE DUDE SHE OBSESSIVELY LOVES but they did not give me that story!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway look i have really missed ILY asks like i just feel? weirdly? rejuvenated?#sometimes i receive an ask and i have to let it sit for a couple hours so i can mull over it and prepare myself but with this one i just #launched right in lol i was so excited to yell about shoujo and my eternal patience thanks to Skip Beat and this whole flashback and YES #what it means for her relationship with Nol! what it means for her as a person! what it means for the Shinae we first met vs who she is now #GOD i love her so much ;_____________; Shinae is so wonderful ;~;

6 notes · View notes

mrsbakashi · 2 years

Note

all :) if you want lol but if not then just the even ones

you know damn well i'd answer all of them twice for you 😭

thank you for asking and watch out for the long ass answers (so i put a cut).

1. book you've reread the most times?

probably pride and prejudice. it's a cliche, but it's my favorite book and i usually go for it when i don't know what to read next or when i'm in some sort of "book hangover" (is that a thing in english? idk). or maybe the little prince. yes, i'm a walking cliche.

2. top 5 books of all time?

oh god, so hard. i'm going for book that hold a special place in my heart for many reasons:

1st: pride and prejudice

2nd: the posthumous memoirs of brás cubas (it's from a brazilian author and it's honestly so amazing i can't even put into words)

3rd: the chronicles of narnia or harry potter (yes, i'm listing the whole series as one book)

4th: soul love - at night the sky is more beautiful

5th: the little prince

3. what is your favourite genre?

does fiction count as a genre? does novel? or maybe romance? to simplify: if there's romance in it, i'm reading it.

4. what sections of a bookstore do you browse?

first the best-sellers/popular because it's usually the first section, you end up there almost before you even enter the book store. then i like to go to a section on my favorite bookstore that is for recommendations of both customers and the people who work there (they can even let post its saying why they recommend it). then i go to national and international literature. sometimes i go to spiritual section because i love studying it. depending on how i feel i can also go to the languages section and see if there's anything helpful. and usually, before leaving, i take a quick look in the medicine section because old habits die hard, and then i feel super sad i won't be a doctor anymore and go straight to McDonald's. ✌🏻😗

5. where do you buy books?

this question is so sad... so books are really expensive in my country, and people don't really have the habit of reading here, the numbers are insanely low and our government doesn't care/doesn't do anything about it, so teacher and schools are left to do the impossible task to make people understand it can actually be fun - anyway, things are really bad, yes. so a lot of bookstores had to close after declaring bankruptcy, and the few that are still working are always empty. and that alone wouldn't be as much of a problem, but now the prices are so ridiculously high - i can't remember the last time i bought a book in a physical bookstore. they cost like double the usual price there. the last time i went to my favorite (ex-favorite?) one i got so mad i left withing 3 minutes. i literally felt like crying, because it's the most famous bookstore we have, and it's kinda historical, and i had so many great moments there. anyway. now i buy them online. i try to find small sellers on instagram/etc with a good price so i don't have to give my money to bezos, but sometimes i do, because sometimes i can't find a specific book anywhere else 😔.

6. what books have you read in the last month?

NONE! 😃

no, seriously, since november last year i've been reading exclusively fanfiction (and lately not even fanfics 😩). i did start a couple of books, but couldn't go through because my anxiety is quite bad and i can't engage with anything with more than 1 chapter or more than 1K words. or watch. can't remember the last time i watched a movie.

but last september, which was the last month i actually read something, i read 3 books i think.

7. is there a series/book that got you into reading?

i'm pretty sure there was, but i can't really remember, because i was too young. i think i was 4 when i insisted my sister taught me how to read so i could read books, and she did which is amazing if you think a 7 year old taught a 4 year old 🤣 she would come home with what she learned at school and taught me. i remember i already knew how to read when i entered school and the teachers were usually amazed and kept me in charge when they had to leave for a few minutes - yes, i was that kid who is responsible for writing down the names of everyone who is not quietly sitting.

but anyway. there's a really famous comic series around here that's called "monica's gang" in english, i believe, and i remember reading it a loooot.

but to answer the question: i've been into reading for as long as i can remember.

8. what is the first book you remember reading yourself?

the first one i actually remember reading is the little prince. i know i had read other children's books before, with little silly cute stories, but my first "big girl" book was the little prince. i was 6-7 and my sister got it at the school's library for me and i loved it so much - to this day it's still one of my faves.

9. when do you tend to read most?

at night, in bed, sipping tea, before falling asleep. that's the only time i feel okay with doing something not related to work or stuff.

10. do you have a guilty fav?

absolutely! twilight for example lololol. and like "Led Astray" by Sandra Brown, and also the Hush Hush series and "Perdida" from a brazilian writer.

11. what non-fiction books do you like if any?

most of them are from brazilian writers so i won't name them, but i really like reading historical books, biographies of people i admire, spiritual studies and stuff. i like studying some stuff too, so books with theories/textbooks. does poetry count as non-fiction? 🤔

12. did you enjoy any compulsory high school readings?

yes! the posthumous memoirs of brás cubas for example i was forced to read to vestibular - a big exam colleges and universities have to test if you are good enough. there were other books some of my teachers recommended or made us read that i really liked at the time, most of them are brazilian.

13. do you have a goodreads?

i don't, but i have another social media to keep track of my reading. it's called skoob (which is books spelled backwards) but i don't know if it's available worldwide.

14. do you ever mark/dog ear books you own?

yes, but i'm not really a fan of it. i like to write/highlight my books, but i worked in a company very far from my house so i used to read a lot on the subway/bus and i couldn't highlight/write in a bus/train full of people (like so full you could barely breathe) so i folded the pages i wanted to highlight later - but then i never did, because o was busy finishing the book, so now i just have a lot of books with dog ears.

15. recommend and review a book.

oh, i suck at it, which is ironic because i used to have a bookstagram. but i will do a very light one:

i will recommend the posthumous memoirs of brás cubas, one of my favorite books. it was written by an amazing author with an amazing story back in 1881. so it's a book narrated in first person by the main character, brás cubas, who is now dead and reminiscing on his life and the people he met. and he is sooooo ironic, funny and full of himself. like there's a part during his funeral when it starts raining and he just goes "even the sky is crying the death of the great brás cubas". and while you go with him in this trip through his life you find a lot of critics, specially directed towards the society, but also a lot of reflections about life. it's just amazing. funny and deep. i love it.

16. how many books have you read this year?

none! 🤣

i mentioned before the last book i read was like in september, since then i started books but kinda abandoned on page 30 or so. i was reading a lot of fanfic but now even that is fading, so i'm basically reading nothing...

17. top 5 children's books?

i think "children's books" is too much of a wild concept, like do you mean harry potter or do you mean the gingerbread man?

anyway, my top would be:

the little prince

the chronicles of narnia

harry potter

peter pan

diary of a wimpy kid

18. do you like historical books? which time period?

i do! basically any time. i love learning about the past, how people lived, how they did some things, their customs... it's really nice. also i don't know if historical books refer to like pride and prejudice or to actual history books, but the answer is yes for both ✌️😗

19. most disliked popular books?

oh, uh... i think the after series. i read the first book entirely with the strength of how much i hated it, and i just didn't drop it because i don't like dropping things (taking an indefinite pause yes) but i hated it so much.

20. what are things you look for in a book?

first i ask myself if the story has the potential to make me cry - if yes then I'll read it LOL. i look for stories that will give me many many feelings, like really mess with them, or stories that seem fun or sweet or interesting. i'm also a sucker for narratives (idk if that's the right word in english, but like the way the story is told) so when i'm in a bookstore before buying a book that seems interesting i usually read the first chapter/pages to see if i like it. i ended up giving up on some books because the narrative was bad or annoying. 🤷🏻‍♀️

#about me #ask game #morggie answers

3 notes · View notes