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ashleyh713fanfics · 4 months

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Dazai X Odasaku!Sister "Timeless" P3

Hello! I've been writing for awhile but this is the first time writing bsd. I gave Oda's sister a name but I'll do a version with y/n if that's more your speed.

Synopsis: After Odasaku's death Dazai searches for a way to fulfill his last request but doesn't know where to start. That is until he meets Odasaku's mysterious little sister.

Warnings: Usual bsd warnings. Murder, talks of death and suicide, Dazai being a sociopath.

Part 3/3

After numerous wrong turns and five tumbles into total random strangers, Asa and Dazai found themselves in the middle of a local fast food place as the poor girl stared down at the menu with serious silence, her eyes squinting in the process.

The boy only snorted though, knowing she probably couldn’t see shit and eventually she just told the worker to pick their favorite and that’s what she would have. He knew things would’ve been much easier if she took those things off, but didn’t speak about it.

Besides, watching her scramble around like an idiot was entertaining in itself.

Sliding into the booth, Asa then sighed to herself before pushing her useless glasses up further onto her face. “Ahh, things in Yokohama are so different from back home. I knew all the food places there. Here everything is new. Well, I guess that’s exciting in its own way.”

Dazai had other things on his mind though, the boy's un-bandaged eye gazing at her in curiosity. “What I want to know is how you plan on surprising me today?”

The girl then smiled to herself before taking a sip of her drink unbothered. “There will be time for it. For now though, enjoy. We are on the date after all.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at that, his head turning with amusement. “Oh? Is that what we are doing?”

Asa only nodded though. “Mhm! I mean after today it will be official anyways so I figured why not?”

This girl was so confident, so much so that Dazai knew it would be her downfall. She had no idea who she was dealing with after all. She didn’t realize that she was currently sitting across from the devil himself.

But once again, he humored her, knowing it would work in his favor anyways. “Ah, you’re so silly Asa-chan! You always say such interesting things. So tell me, what about me made you fall again? Was it my handsome face? I bet it was! That’s what everyone says.”

HIs new childlike demeanor wasn’t lost on her though, Asagao smiling before carefully putting the drink down. “It’s more than just your face.”

Fake gasping at the information, Dazai leaned forward. “Ah ha! So you do think my face is handsome! I knew it. Tell me more Asa-chan. Come onnn..”

She didn’t even have to think before answering the hungry boy. “It’s simple. You fascinate me, Dazai Osamu. In fact, I’ve been waiting a long time to meet someone like you.”

At that, Dazai’s eye couldn’t help but raise with even more intrigue. Oh so now we were getting somewhere. But the question was, why would anyone want to meet him? Usually everyone was trying to do the opposite.

They knew that meeting him face to face was a fate worse than death.

He didn’t say that though, only pushing deeper as he batted his eyes with a mocking reply. “Ooooh have you? Well then, am I everything you dreamed of?”

The normal answer was “no” of course. That's what it should’ve been.

He quickly realized though that Odasaku’s sister was not normal in the slightest, her eyes closing with some sort of relief in order to smile softly. “Yeah, you are.”

Dazai was doubtful of that though, so much so he decided to make fun of her some more in order to garner a reaction. “Even if I told you my job is big and scary?”

Asa only turned her head though, like the answer was obvious. “It doesn’t matter what strings come attached. As long as it’s you, I don’t mind.”

Dazai felt his eyes darken then, allowing his black port mafia soul to seep through ever so slightly. Odasaku’s sister was treading on dangerous territory.

Because he knew how disappointed Oda would be if he was alive to hear it. “Careful darling, that answer could get you killed.”

And not that he cared that much but he also didn’t want the last remaining piece of his best friend to disappear so easily.

It’s like the two halves of his soul were arguing with each other, the side of the fifteen year old boy clinging to the face that looked so much like his best friend and the port mafia executive that wanted her to die just to prove that he was right.

Then all all at once, Asagao shrugged, brushing off his threat with ease. “As long as you’re the one pulling the trigger it’s fine.”

He knew what she was saying immediately. She still wanted him to be her executor in hopes of getting closer to her big brother. She was so calm about it too, like she had already planned it in her mind.

Soaking in her response, Dazai then turned quiet, his ever moving mind desperate to decipher everything about her. Sure, to anyone else the girl was as surface level as they came. Naive, clumsy, and inexperienced about everything and everyone.

But with that conversation just hours ago and now, the boy saw something else. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it yet, but he knew there was something deeper about her, something far more complex.

She was both intelligent and naive, clumsy yet careful in her manner of speech, she held herself with such innocence and yet didn’t bat an eye about how dark he could be. To put it simply, she was a walking contradiction in every sense of the world.

Yet whatever she ultimately was didn’t feel hostile or evil in any sense. He never sensed that she was a threat or using him for some sort of plan. In fact it was quite the opposite. Whenever she looked at Dazai it seemed to be filled with a strange sense of care and longing.

And whether he wanted to admit it or not, the boy felt relaxed with her, like he could show the deepest and darkest parts of his soul and never gain a response. She was like Odasaku in that regard.

Perhaps that’s why he felt so comfortable with her, because she had that same sense of carefree understanding about her. He could sink into old habits with her just like those nights at Bar Lupin.

Just then, his phone began to buzz as Dazai quickly took out the object only to find a message from Mori on the display, his words short and concise.

Be careful while you're out, Dazai.

Looks like that underground group we talked about today is trying to make their move.

Ah right. The underground group that was trying to take down the port mafia recently. He had forgotten about that. Well, not really forgotten, more like wiped it from his mind because it wasn’t interesting in the slightest.

Sighing to himself, his eyes then glanced to the three men that had been following them since Dazai and Asagao’s talk overlooking the city.

Oh, did he not mention that before?

Well that’s because it wasn’t important. Sure, these guys were probably following him around in order to gain some leverage about how to beat the port mafia but he knew they wouldn’t strike unless they found some. They weren’t that stupid.

And they never would. The mafia’s information was confidential after all and finding they weren’t clever enough to figure out how to get it. Sure, they could try to torture him or whatever but his name wasn’t something to be taken lightly. That’s why they were keeping their distance.

Turning back to Asagao, he then tuned back into her rambling conversation about nothing important in order to stare silently.

Poor girl didn’t even notice they were being followed and watched. Hell, she probably couldn’t see anything given those blurry and useless glasses she wore all the time.

And he checked to see if her intuition was strong when they first got here but unfortunately, the girl hadn't noticed anyone. Now that you mention it, Asagao hadn’t looked anywhere but at Dazai the entire time..

Almost like the rest of the world was irreverent to her.

-----------

Remember when Dazai said that those underground thugs wouldn’t approach him?

Well, it turns out that wasn't the case, the two being cornered only a couple minutes after leaving the restaurant. Ah how annoying, he thought they were at least smarter than this.

But apparently not.

Asagao on the other hand only looked confused, her head tilting at the new bloodthirsty presence. “Oh, hello? Can we help you? I’m sorry but we are kinda on a date right now.”

The main man only laughed at her utter disregard for danger though, pointing to the bored bandaged boy behind her. “Didn’t know the port mafia executive had a girl.”

And though he had just let Dazai’s true profession slip, Oda’s sister didn’t even bat an eye, instead focusing on other things. “Oh well, it’s not official yet. But between you and me that’s what I’m hoping for.”

She then giggled to herself like a lovesick school girl only for the thug to grow annoyed with her lukewarm reaction in order to lift his hand out and slap her across the face with a growl. “Shut up bitch!”

The force was so strong that it turned her head completely to the side, her large framed glasses falling from her face in the process as they clattered onto the ground.

And though Dazai was incapable of feeling compassion or care towards her, the sight caused his fingers to reach for his gun with a cruel smile.

He did try to tell her after all, what she was asking for. It was her own damn fault, maybe now she would think twice before saying she was fine with his dark and twisted life.

Perhaps this was the push she needed to go back home and forget everything before he corrupted her forever.

The man then laughed at Asagao’s stunned stance only to turn back towards Dazai with malice. “The port mafia is finished. At first we thought it was hopeless but now that an anonymous source has given us everything about you, we know how to take you down, Dazai Osamu.”

Feeling himself pause, the pieces clicked into place. So that’s why they had approached them, it was because they finally had the leverage they needed to strike. But where did they get it from? Like he said the port mafia records were locked up tight. What kind of anonymous source had that kind of power?

Well that was a later problem. First he would finish these idiots and then he could focus on the infiltration of his personal records.

Analyzing the situation, the boy looked at his enemy before sighing. This guy that was speaking wasn’t even the leader of the group, it was obvious. He was just some stand in lackey. Of course that was something only Dazai could figure out.

Yet before he could speak even more, Asagao spoke, her voice coming out far different and way less cheerful than he had heard all day. “Now why did you have to do that?”

Snapping her head up, Dazai then watched the man physically flitch as she stood ominous still. “Why is the first thing I have to see your painfully ugly face? I could’ve gone forever in my imagination and now I have to see the reality of how unpleasant you actually are.”

She then pointed towards the thug before sighing. “Besides, you're not even the leader of this group.”

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but pause. What did she just say? Did she seriously just pick up on this guy being a fake that easily? How interesting, he didn’t think anyone would’ve gotten that except him.

The fake leader seemed stunned as well, his eyes wide as Asagao moved her finger down in order to scan his entire aura. “Don’t stare at me like that. It’s obvious. Between your oversized shirt, fake designer shoes and obnoxiously try hard and overbearing behavior it’s clear you're compensating for something. You’re like a child playing dress up and pretending. It’s hard to watch honestly.”

The way she spoke, it was so cruel and full of mocking vigor, like she was making fun of his lack of intelligence. It sounded like she was playing around with him, a tactic that Dazai liked to favor especially. The boy didn’t know she was capable of such a thing though.

She didn’t react like this to anything he said today, and he had tried numerous times. But the calm collected Asagao and this one were like night and day from each other.

And not only that, she picked apart that guy with extreme precision. She was witty, sharp and clever, being able to notice his flaws in a millisecond. It reminded Dazai of someone familiar.

Glued to see what she would do next, he then watched Asagao move her finger from the thug to the group behind him in order to speak plainly. “So if we are going to have a real fight, I’d like to be with that guy behind you. Aka the real leader of the group.”

Then all at once, everyone gasped in order to step aside as a smaller, more meekly dressed man moved to the center. He looked unassuming and plain but of course that’s what he was going for in order not to look suspicious.

No one was supposed to notice him, but Asagao did.

Stopping right in front of her, the man spoke coldly. “Just who are you?”

He must have assumed she was port mafia, his eyes cautious and on guard only for her to stare down at the man with challenge. “Come at me and find out..”

The man grumbled then, his hands reaching out only for Dazai’s hand to immediately tighten around the gun between his fingers. He was conflicted, wanting to see just what Oda’s sister could do and needing to make sure she didn’t die like his best friend.

Yet that’s when Asagao simply shifted her head behind her, the hair covering her eyes as she smiled. “Don’t worry, Osamu. Didn’t you remember?”

Lifting her head up, Dazai’s eyes then couldn’t help but widen his pure shock as he truly got a look at Asagao. Gone were the invisible and physical barriers she had purposely put up, her icy blue gaze piercing his own before realizing he was looking in a mirror.

Hollow.

Her eyes were hollow, deep cavern-like nothing, staring into his soul as she truly gazed upon the world for what it was. Empty, purposeless and cruel.

And in an instant, Osamu Dazai was hit with a sickening sense of family, having seen the same exact look a million times before. That gaze, it was just like his, in every single sense. Holding no feeling, no life.

Then the girl simply turned her head in order to finish with a cocky smirk.

“I’m an Oda.”

Snapping back to her prey, Asagao then narrowed her eyes as she watched the unruly thug charge towards her with full power. “Now, let’s play a game. What is the one most valuable tool for a wanna-be assassin?”

At that, the thug threw his arm down, his fists reaching a couple inches from her face before the girl seemed to disappear from his sight completely only to reappear in an instant right behind him with a sigh. “Power, speed, agility? Nah, those are all wrong.”

Spinning around in confusion, the man gasped. How in the hell did she get over there? He thought he had her cornered for sure. “W-Wha?! Where did you..”

Asagao only smirked though, unbothered by his faltering response. “I’ll show you what’s the most important.”

The man then blinked only to find his stomach and right knee screaming in pain, like someone had kicked him as he doubled over in surprise only to find that the girl hadn’t moved from her spot. But how was that possible? How could she strike him without a single touch?

Not liking her attitude, his eyes then turned livid before charging at her again only for her

to disappear as he felt his legs get swiped out from underneath him like a breathless wind. Okay what the fuck was going on?!

Asagao then appeared to his side like magic, her voice coming out disappointed.“You’re not even an ability user, are you? That’s why you hid behind that other guy. Ah, how boring I was really hoping I could show off tonight for Osu.”

Widening his eyes, the man then jumped back only for his stupid little brain to put something together. “She’s an ability user! Grab her! She uses invisibility or teleportation or something..”

She only rolled her eyes at that though, putting her hand to her face in an exasperated groan. “Ugh this is why you’re not gonna win. You think too small. Osu, can you please show these low intelligent thugs how it’s done?”

All at once, the men then turned towards Dazai only for him to narrow his eyes in thought. Based on her demonstration he had some theories, and he was glad to showcase how far above he was to these losers.

Yes, Asagao was fast but it wasn’t invisibility or teleportation. From the way she was shaking out her hands and moving her feet it was obvious she was delivering the hits firsthand.

The way she moved was disorienting as well, Odasaku’s sister disappearing in thin air almost like she was never there to begin with only to reappear not even a millisecond later somewhere else.

No, this wasn’t some sort of invisibility, it was something else entirely.

Then Dazai had his answer, allowing his lips to curve into a smug smirk before speaking plainly. “Her ability is time, more specifically stopping time.”

All at once, the gang gasped. “T-Time?!”

Asagao on the other hand only closed her eyes in pride before lifting her hands up in response. “That’s right, up to six seconds to be more specific. My brother saw the future but I hold the present.”

Turning her head, she then mocked. “I bet you’re wondering why I’m telling you all of this? Well, you aren’t going to be able to beat me anyways so I thought I would give you a fighting chance. Now where were we?”

She then dropped her hands in order to reactivate her ability inside her head. Ability: Timeless.

Asagao then watched as everything calmed down to a sudden halt, the thug’s mouth hanging open in suspended animation like a statue in order to casually walk past him with a hum as she counted her time.

Stopping just next to his ear, the world then began to reanimate as the thug jumped back at how close he had allowed her to be as Asa spoke. “Oh yes, what makes a good assassin? Did you discover the answer yet or should I just tell you?”

His eyes turned wild then, lifting his hand up in order to punch her only for Asagao to frown in order to stop time once more as her body easily leaned back from his arm.

Ah, how barbaric.

Lifting her hand up, she then balled her hands into a hard fist before punching the man across his frozen face..

--while kicking him straight in the balls with her foot at the same time.

Asagao then took three steps back in order to turn off her ability as she watched the man finally register the pain and hunch over with a pained groan as Asagao finished casually. “The answer you’re looking for is a keen eye, finding patterns and analyzing your enemy in order to get into their head and predict what they will do next. I’ve been trained for it, unable to turn it off since I was a kid. It gets rather annoying but it helps in these kinds of situations..”

Realizing he was losing horribly, the leader then shouted to her before running up with pure blind fury as Asagao allowed him to do so. “For example, just from watching you attack blindly I know you favor your left side, but you are more reliant on your right arm for attacks which means your center of gravity is off. It also means that in order to immobilize you the only thing I have to do is what you least expect. Like so..”

She then reactivated her ability one more time before easily reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a pistol in order to weigh it in her hand.

Spinning the object in her hand Asagao then re-animated the world in order to point the gun straight towards the charging man in order to dodge his predictable right hook and shoot him point blank in his good shoulder as he immediately reached for the bullet with a curse. “F-Fuck!”

Dazai then watched with silence as the leader's legs seemingly caved underneath him once more only for Asagao to dig her foot into his wounded shoulder with a cold finale. “If you were more spontaneous this would’ve been more interesting but it seems you don’t even have the capacity to not bore me. What a pity. You took my glasses off, made me see your sloppy moves for almost nothing.”

Lifting the stolen pistol up towards him, Asagao then narrowed her eyes before letting off another shot, this time the bullet lodging itself a couple inches from the leader’s face in clear warning as he gasped.

He then began to back up with his feet only to turn towards his followers with a terrified shriek. “T-The port mafia are monsters! Retreat!”

Then all at once, Asagao and Dazai watched the attackers run away with their tails between their legs as the girl pushed the pistol down to the side silently.

And to be honest, Dazai wasn’t sure how to process what had just happened. Ango said that Odasaku’s sister was innocent, that she was just a kid that didn’t belong in his dark world.

But looking at her right now, the boy could easily see her as port mafia.

Although that’s when Asa then looked down at the gun before gasping loudly in order to pace back and forth with newfound anxiety. “Ah, crap! You really blew it, Asagao. You promised your brother that you wouldn’t fight anymore and look what you did! You just had to open your big fat mouth and take it too far..”

Grumbling to herself, she then leaned down in order to pick up her discarded glasses and place them back onto her face with another groan. “I’m never gonna hear the end from Ango now.”

She then seemed to brighten up before immediately turning around toward Dazai in order to run up to the boy and scan him with her blurred vision. “Oh! Are you okay, Osu? You didn’t get hurt did you?”

Staring at her, Dazai's eyes then flashed towards her watchful gaze only to realize that the dead hollow look she was wearing before had completely disappeared, leaving only a bumbling worried fifteen year old girl.

Pushing her fingers across his cheek, Asa then gasped at a tiny line of blood before reeling her hands back in panic. “Oh no, you have a cut. Hold on, I think I have something..”

Dazai only frowned though, pushing her fingers away in order to mutter darkly. “I’ve had more than this before..”

And that was true. Hell, the boy had tried to kill himself way too many times to count. A cut like this wasn’t anything big. If anything, it just made him feel numb, just like he was on the inside.

Yet that’s when Asagao nodded softly, too softly for his liking. “No, but you don’t like pain, right? Let me fix that for you.”

Asagao then reached into her pocket and pulled out a tiny pink heart bandaid in order to unstick the back and place it on the cut with a small smile. “Ta da! All fixed. Now let’s head back, It’s getting late.”

Turning back around, the girl then pushed her hands out in a stretch as Dazai watched her with stunned silence. That's right, he told her he wanted to die peacefully before. But then again, that didn’t have anything to do with him not enjoying pain.

Did she figure that out about him as well?

Dazai then lifted his finger towards the girly out of place heart on his cheek before closing his eyes in sullen silence. Oda Asagao, just who are you?

And for once, the port mafia executive didn’t have a definitive answer yet.

--------

Dazai was quiet, pensive and calculating as they made their way back to Odasaku’s old apartment. He hadn’t spoken a word since their run in with that rival gang just a couple minutes ago and the boy was still reeling about it.

You see, there was something off about it. Something strange that the executive couldn’t shake no matter how hard he tried. Those guys said that they had leverage from an anonymous source about him, but there was no way they couldn't have gotten it from the port mafia. He and Mori would’ve known about that.

Which means they got it from somewhere else..

Watching Asagao put the key inside the lock, Dazai knew the answer. Somehow, some way, he just knew. “You are the anonymous source, aren’t you? You leaked my information. You got that rival organized to approach us on purpose.”

He then watched her hand freeze on the doorknob only for the boy to remember the seemingly insignificant items she dropped on the ground when she “hit” that railing. Back then he didn’t tell her what she had dropped, not seeing the need to.

Unless that’s what she planned from the beginning. She knew he wasn’t going to help her pick them up. She had read his character.

Feeling his mind move at a million miles per second, Dazai continued. “You knew we were being followed and planted that information so that they would have reason to attack.”

It was clever, so insanely clever that it happened right under his nose.

Dazai then watched with bated breath as Asagao then dropped her hand before turning around in order to face the boy with a prideful smirk. “They were bothering you and I needed a demonstration to show off a bit. So I used them.”

He was right. It was almost impossible to believe. Odasaku’s sister had set all of this up just to show him her ability, to make him be impressed with her.

And to be honest, it was kind of working.

Dazai didn’t want to admit that though, his mind scanning the insanely clever girl only for something else to come to his mind. “Why me?”

It was the question that swirled inside his head more than anything else. Why had she done all of this for a sheer reason to impress him? Why did she always look at him with such familiarity? Why did she ask him to be her boyfriend so randomly?

Asagao then closed her eyes before strolling up the mafioso in order to reach into her jacket pocket and pull out a folded white piece of paper for him with a knowing look. “Take it.”

Not understanding, the boy then grabbed the paper between his fingers in order to read the contents silently as the girl watched.

Almost immediately he recognized the words as Odasaku’s, his mind hungry for the information as he desperately seeped in every word.

This must be one the letters he sent her

At first it was casual, asking Asagao how everything was, if she was eating well. Just standard brother behavior.

Yet that’s when he got to the bottom of the letter, the words slapping him in the face.

Today, I met a boy. He showed up right outside my apartment covered in blood so I brought him in. And there is something about him, something familiar.. I think his world spins as fast as yours.

Staring dumbfounded at the words on the page, Dazai’s mind turned to a standstill only to hear Oda’s sister speak joyfully at his side. “Surprise! I bet you didn’t guess that, did you? Well, did I do a good job? Did I finally get you, Osamu?!”

Yet the more she spoke, the more the boy couldn’t process what he had actually read. No, that was impossible. No one saw the world like him, no one was as clever, no one had been able to keep up with him.

It was something he had figured out since he was a kid. The feeling was always so lonely, so isolating. So much so Dazai had always wished for someone to understand him. He had screamed out so many times and no one had ever ran fast enough to ever comprehend the solitary and secluded life he lived.

He had given up hope, truly believing that such a person didn’t exist in this world.

And the longer he remained silent, the more Asagao’s cheerful face started to fall, her voice growing quiet. “Oh..you’re mad…”

He didn’t respond though, causing the red haired female to spiral even faster. “Oh no, I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true. This always happens. I’m so stupid. I thought you’d be happy to find someone that understands you, but maybe that’s just me. ..”

Shaking her head, Asagao then pushed her fingers to her glasses with a shaky breath of fear. “You see, all throughout my life I felt like a freak, I always say things without thinking about it and make people mad at me. And with these glasses, it dumbs me down, makes me seem normal so I can mask it and not scare everyone away with my stupid brain..”

Asagao then pictured herself wearing the large rimmed frames as a child, using them to mask and cover her unique and ever spinning world in order for the kids around her to actually stick around for longer than a day. They never liked when she was clever. They never liked anything strange.

And Asagao Oda was always the definition of strange.

Lifting her hands up, she then began to speak faster. “But when that letter came about you, I felt validated for the first time in my life, knowing that there was someone out there that felt the same kind of loneliness as I was. And when I met you today, you amazed me with how open and real you are. So much so that I wanted to show you the real me also..”

She then felt her voice break with emotion before adding softly. “A-And I just thought that with you, I could finally not have to hide, that I could actually be my authentic self for once without the fear of scaring you off like the others. My eyes, my glasses, I could learn to live with them like you do..”

And what Dazai didn’t know was that his very existence was life changing to her. Finally somewhere in the world there was someone that was like her, that saw the world in the same blinding fast pace that she did. She wasn’t alone, she wasn’t a freak. Someone, somewhere understood.

Asagao then stopped herself before realization appeared in her eyes in order for the girl to hang her head in defeat. “But now that I say that out loud it sounds really stupid and I shouldn’t have overstepped like that. You know what, just forget you ever read that letter if it makes you conformable. That’s the last thing I wanted for you, Osamu.”

Feeling herself flitch, Asa then frowned sadly. “Ah, Oops, and I guess I shouldn’t call you that either since we aren’t really that close. I just got ahead of myself like always. I really am a bother, aren’t I? Ha ha..”

Yet that’s when she heard Dazai’s response for the first time since she aimlessly rambled, stopping her in an instant.

Laughing.

He was laughing.

But this kind of laughter wasn’t the same as the ones he had given throughout the day. Those felt forced, manipulative and calculated. But right now the boy’s chuckles didn’t display any of that.

No, they sounded genuine.

Blinking in utter confusion at the display, she then watched Dazai’s hand immediately move up to his bandaged eye before speaking through his self induced fit. “Ah, you’re right. I give up, darling. You win, fair and square.”

Not understanding, Asagao stood dumbfounded. “I..huh..you’re not mad..?”

And in the moment Dazai felt a whirlwind of emotions but mad was not one of them.

He always wondered how Odasaku was able to handle him and why he took him in and now he knew why, because he reminded Oda of his little sister this entire time. Of course, of course it was like that.

And staring at the red haired girl in front of him, Dazai couldn’t help but marvel in pure fascination. Who knew the person he was searching for his entire life would be the last remaining piece of his best friend.

Ango’s warning sounded clear in his brain but the boy couldn’t help but drown it out, knowing it was useless. He couldn’t walk away from this, he couldn’t walk away from her. Even if it was insanely dangerous, even if the demon prodigy had his way with her, Dazai knew he couldn’t ignore this.

Odasaku’s precious little sister, why did you have to be so enticing?

Smiling to himself, the bandaged kid then took a step closer in order to grab onto Asagao’s hand before pulling her forward with intent.

“Why would I be when I just got myself such an interesting girlfriend?”

Then all at once, he watched Asagao’s face light up with pure joy in order, her fingers twisting around him in order to squeeze his hand in reply. “W-Wait really?! You’re serious?”

Dazai then lowered his eyes before he felt his black port mafia heart seep in ever so slightly as he looked down on her all at once. “You might regret your decision though. I must warn you, I’m not a good man, Asa-chan. I could break you.”

And he knew he could so easily, just like all the others before. It didn’t matter if he was as clever as him, her heart wasn’t as soulless. That much was for certain.

Asagao only smiled though, no hesitation in her eyes as she hummed back. “If that’s the price for being with you, I will gladly take it. Just promise me that you’ll be the one to pull the trigger.”

Yes, perhaps it was selfish, perhaps the boy should’ve never agreed to such a thing because now he knew he would forever be at war with himself.

Between the boy that longed to have Odasaku back in this world, and the port mafia demon prodigy that wanted to crush the delicate flower called Asagao between his fingers until there was nothing left. They both hungered without his soul, pulling him in each direction.

But if he knew one thing it was that he would do everything within his power to keep the demon at bay just this one, just to be able to see Odasaku again in her eyes.

For you see, Osamu Dazai wasn’t a good man.

But he would try to be, for her.

“I promise.”

Part 3/3

Part 1 Here:

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #dazai x fem reader #dazai x you #dazai x y/n #dazai x reader #dazai bsd #dazai x odasaku!sister #bsd odasaku #oda sakunosuke #odasaku sakunosuke

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leoneliterary · 2 years

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What would be your reason to date the Ros and what would be the reason to not date them? (u know cause some are walking 🚩)

Ooooo this is kind of tough, because I think they all are similar in their strengths and weaknesses. I answered what their worst traits are in this ask, but this one is slightly different and gives me an excuse to roast and gas up my own characters so here we go!

Merikh:

Pros: He's driven, dedicated, and has a very large heart. He's as supportive as he is protective. He has a dry wit and usually has a pretty good since of humor that can cheer most people up.

Cons: He can be very self absorbed and has a habit of believing that his problems are the biggest. His anger can be alienating and at his worst he's petty and spiteful.

Summary: If you want a go-getter that will protect and support you, then Merikh is your guy. As long as you can help him get over himself and set boundaries for where he directs his anger and frustration. (Like boo, everyone has a traumatic past. You're not special Merikh.

Desma:

Pros: She's very fun and full of life, not to mention brimming with undying loyalty. She has a way of making everyday and adventure and isn't afraid to speak her mind. Her honesty is blunt and she always makes her feelings known. (Kind of)

Cons: Her high energy and recklessness can be exhausting, her jealousy smothering, and her fascination with diversion and frivolity is also her way of avoiding hard conversations and seriousness. Arguments with her can be reminiscent of tantrums.

Summary: If you want a woman that makes you feel wanted and desired, as well as someone who can bring wild jubilation to any situation, Desma is the one for you. Just make sure that you can either match her energy or introduce a bit of calm and structure to her, especially when things get heavy.

Laverna:

Pros: She has a way of making people feel seen and she doesn't restrict her love to the best version of you. Her love is tender and deep and she will try to solve any problem the two of you face. She is patient and has a surprisingly blunt sense of humor that makes being around her feel refreshing.

Cons: She is reluctant to show her full self and can be deceptive. She can sometimes be convinced that she knows best and holds on to slights and conflicts for far longer than is healthy.

Summary: If you want a woman that can love you at your worst, wait through any storm with you, and there to help you through life's difficulties, then Laverna is for you! Just make sure you let her know that she doesn't have to lie to you and also try to help her understand that it's okay to let some things go.

Sutek:

Pros: He listens and is a bit too honest and too empathetic for the line of work he's in. He is unselfish and observant, and he has a quiet, yet fierce devotion to the ones that he loves. You can depend on him to keep his word and to do his best to keep you safe.

Cons: He sometimes ignores empathy in favor of pragmatism and that means he struggles with his sense of self as well as his own morals. Some of the things he has done have skewed his sense of self worth and he can become distant, both emotionally and locationally.

Summary: If you want a man that's honest and actually cares about your feelings and desires, then Sutek is the man for you. As long as you can locate him physically and keep him from either withdrawing into himself or into the environment when his mind or the relationship gets tumultuous.

Sarai:

Pros: She is clearheaded and very deliberate in everything she does, including matters of the heart. She knows how to highlight the best in those around her. She is at a place now where she can give guidance and is always there to listen to both a situation and the feelings involved in a way that is both loving and analytical. She has a warm spirit and it bleeds into everything she does.

Cons: She puts up a cold exterior and she is skeptical of attachments. She is slow to open up and quick to shut down. She may be insightful, but can be willfully blind to how her actions can sabotage a relationship and she treats negative outcomes as confirmation of her worst assumptions.

Summary: If you want someone that is loving, wise, and meticulous in her care for those she loves, then Sarai is for you. Just make sure that you have the patience to withstand being pushed away and can reassure her that not everyone wants to hurt those they claim to love.

Nari:

Pros: She has an earnestness about her that is endearing and she leads and inspires by example. Though shy, there is nothing held back in her love and commitment to those she loves. She sees the best in a person and offers support even when she can offer nothing else.

Cons: Her self esteem is very low, meaning that she second guesses whether or not the love in front of her is real of if she truly deserves it. She also tends to put people on pedestals, so focused on seeing the best that she ignores everything else.

Summary: If you want a love that is sweet and unwavering from someone who would never want to do anything to make you feel unvalued, then Nari is a great pick. Just be there to reassure her and try not to break her heart and trust.

Aretas:

Pros: He is full of optimism and ambition in a way that is both endearing and inspiring. He genuinely cares about people and is generous and eager to please. When he looks at you, he makes you feel like it's just the two of you and no matter where he is, he is still himself. (Just sometimes more subdued)

Cons: He puts duty before almost everything and as a great man he casts a long shadow. He can neglect his own health trying to perfect and juggle everything, and can get defensive when called out for it. It can be easy to feel less like a lover and more like an accessory or a prized object.

Summary: If you want to experience a cocktail of grand love and devotion coupled with power and influence, then Aretas is a good pick. Just make sure that you have a good sense of self and aren't afraid to communicate your feelings and your input in the relationship. Also remind him that he doesn't have to be perfect.

Heka:

Pros: He is very tranquil and openhearted and accepting of most people and situations. He views the world with wonder and curiosity meaning that spending time with him can make things feel brand new. Love is new to him but he will make it clear that he cherishes you.He has a great deal of control over his emotions, can understand other people's pretty well, and will make an effort to when it doesn't come easily.

Cons: He's almost too passive. He can lack initiative or focus and sometimes his presence can be weak. Sometimes it can take effort to get him engaged in the world around him or for him to take a strong stance on anything. For the one he loves, he may seem that he is half hearted or not all the way present in the relationship, although that is not the case.

Summary: If you want a serene love that let's you set the terms for the most part and that delves deeply into sensitivity to each other and the world around you, the Heka is a good pick. Just be try to encourage him to give more room to his emotions, even the negative ones and support him finding his own voice.

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mixelation · 1 year

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here's the first bit of the epilogue to caution to the wind. i don't have, like, a plan? so i have no idea how much more to go or how long it will take me to get there. my plan is to post pieces here on tumblr and if it ever turns into a full conclusion, to put it on ao3 :)

xxx

“Because squirrels carry the plague, Obito—“

Time travel is a little more intense than teleportation. Karin arrives to the past feeling woozy and disoriented, and she gropes for Minato’s sleeve to steady herself. She’s still painfully aware there’s no less than eighteen people in Minato’s office, and her body is immediately on edge, her fingers digging deeper into the fabric of Minato’s shirt than necessary.

However, unlike Kakashi’s version of this office, it’s perfectly normal for the Hokage to disappear and reappear without warning. Tensions are high, but they’re not that high. Minato himself relaxes the second he’s oriented properly, and Karin can feel the relief flood his chakra. She makes herself loosen her grip on him– mentally she knows she is safe here, by his side, even if her heart rate needs some convincing.

“Sensei,” Obito whines the second Minato reappears. He’s clutching an unconscious squirrel in his hands. “Why are you— who is this?”

Karin bristles against her will at Obito’s voice. She’d known he’d be here, but it’s still a punch in the gut to feel his chakra again. He’s different, of course– lighter, happier, and so much younger. This Obito has his own messy desk in the corner of the Hokage’s office, with random pens and papers scattered across the floor from experimental squirrels being transported across time to him.

But it’s still him.

The girl standing across from Obito’s desk is similarly studying Karin with sharp eyes. She has warm brown hair cut short, decorative purple markings on her cheeks, and five squirrels clustered between both her glowing green fists. Based on her chakra, Karin realizes that she’s also definitely a jinchuriki, and not for the Nine Tails. No wonder Minato had been tight-lipped about Nohara Rin’s infamously bad day.

There’s also a man who looks and feels like he must be related to Nara Shikamaru standing cross-armed next to the Hokage’s desk, and a woman in a pencil skirt next to him giving definite “secretary by day, kunoichi assassin by night” vibes, and way more hidden ANBU than strictly necessary, even for a Kage’s office..

Karin is too distracted by trying to orient herself and not flip out over Obito’s chakra and so she misses the exact details, but what happens next is this: Minato moves just slightly, and then the whole room rearranges itself in response.

It’s fascinating to watch, really. This is the tight coordination Karin associates with big villages: a kind of terrifying efficiency, actions as smooth as an organism telling its legs to walk. She’d known cognitively Minato commanded this sort of power, but it’s still almost overwhelming to observe herself.

Most of the ANBU disappear entirely. Four move to positions outside the office, and one who can only be a teenaged Hatake Kakashi drops from the cieling. The Nara man sighs loudly.

“Who am I grabbing for this?” he asks.

Minato grins, and there’s his usual sheepishness, but today it’s mixed with the confidence of the guy in charge of everything.

“I’d like to talk to Jiraiya as soon as possible,” Minato says. “And help Suzume with… damage control, would you? I don’t want rumors spreading before I can make an official statement.”

No one questions him. The Nara slouches off, followed by the kunoichi who must be Suzume. Their eyes linger on Karin as they pass, but there’s no hostility.

It’s… weird. Not bad, but weird.

Once the room has been cleared of everyone but her and Team Minato, Rin starts, “Sensei, are you sure you want me…”

Minato takes Karin’s hand, lacing his fingers through hers. All three of his students’ eyes drop to it.

“Oh my god!” Rin squeals in delight, mood switching immediately from serious ninja to excited teenaged girl.

She tosses the unconscious squirrels onto Obito’s desk. More papers flutter to the ground.

“You did not just randomly abandon me for six hours to go get a girlfriend,” Obito says. He brandishes a squirrel at them. “Sensei, what is going on?”

Kakashi’s posture is ramrod straight, but he tilts his head in askance.

“This is Karin,” Minato says, and Karin gives the three of them a tiny, awkward wave. “If anyone asks, she’s a survivor of Uzushio that I’m inviting to join Konoha.”

“Okay,” Kakashi says, and Karin can feel the ripples of curiosity in all three of them at the mention of Uzushio. “So are you going to tell us who she is actually?”

Minato tells them. Karin lets him do all the talking, carefully monitoring his students’ reactions. Their loose plan is that whatever they do to track down Zetsu and whatever else they need to prevent future disasters, Minato will stick Karin with his former genin team. They’re competent, loyal to Minato personally, and can keep triple-S class secrets.

Minato does not completely spill the beans on the potential future disasters, because it is a lot and most of it involves Obito going completely off the deep end. They’ll get the details eventually, but for now Minato tells them they might work with Karin to save the future only in the vaguest of terms. The result is that the focus of his story is that he casually got trapped in an alternate timeline for a year and decided to bring his girlfriend back.

“So you are dating,” Rin concludes from Minato’s wild and crazy triple-S class adventure. “Sensei, I’m so happy for you–”

“These are future squirrels?” Obito says, nose wrinkling. “With future plague?”

“I wouldn’t let your dumbass sensei handle diseased rodents,” Karin defends and then immediately bites her tongue. It might be kind of early to be calling Minato a dumbass in front of people who respect him. Minato has about four people he genuinely, deeply cares for besides Karin, and she’d prefer getting along with them.

Rin laughs though, loud and full. “Sensei, I like her!”

Karin feels herself relax, ever so slightly.

The rest of the day is properly overwhelming. Karin gets to watch Minato inform the highest ranking of shinobi about them inadvertently discovering time travel and alternate dimensions are both possible, and then that Karin is just here now because he’s Hokage and he can do what he wants.

Jounin Commander Nara Shikaku, back from sending a missive off to Jiraiya, looks remarkably like his son as he rubs his temples and starts spitting out strategies for Karin’s cover story. He doesn’t, Karin notes, voice a single criticism of Minato’s decision to bring her back with him, even though it makes the whole situation more troublesome.

Karin will not be claiming to have grown up in Uzushio, explaining why she survived its destruction and why she doesn’t know shit about it. She’s traveled and lived all over enough that there’s a number of places she could realistically claim to be from, and they pick a part of rural Grass Country for her to have grown up in. They don’t anticipate anyone questioning this. That Karin is a true Uzumaki is indisputable fact, and there’s barely anyone from Uzushio left to poke holes in her story. No other ninja village is going to claim her or object.

“How are you going to…” Shikaku trails off, and Karin watches him clench and unclench his fist with stress. “Clearly you’ve known each other a while.”

“Whirlwind romance?” Minato proposes, and smiles his dweebiest pushover smile.

Karin clasps her hands to both cheeks and in her best love-sick voice adds, “He’s just sooooo dreamy.”

“Wow,” Obito drawls from his desk.

It’s weird, Karin thinks, that they suddenly have a whole village of people Minato can call on to help with whatever silly they need. It’s not a feeling Karin is used to.

She meets Danzo for all of fifteen minutes. Suzume, apparently his glorified Minato-assigned handler, hovers in the hallway. Danzo brought his own assistant with him, whose chakra is so tightly controlled it reminded Karin of Orochimaru’s saddest psych experiments.

Despite having interacted with him for all of a handful of minutes in the future than Obito, Karin associates Danzo’s chakra signature very strongly with being grabbed and made helpless and then being stabbed by someone she trusts. She keeps her posture carefully straight and mouth firmly shut through the whole interaction, during which Danzo doesn’t say much besides acknowledging the information he’s being told, but his face remains grumpy and judgmental.

“Another Uzumaki will only strengthen our village,” he says diplomatically of Karin, even as he eyes her up and down like he’s assessing a cut of meat for damages at the market. “Although I would recommend Inoichi for her mindwalk.”

It’s framed as a suggestion, but Minato has not mentioned the infamous Yamanaka mindreading powers at all. This is Danzo telling Minato what he believes should be done, that Karin needs to be carefully vetted. It’s not even a bad suggestion. Karin is paranoid and untrustful herself, and if she were in Danzo’s shoes, she’d also be calling for wild mindreading screenings of strangers.

But Minato is Hokage, and so Minato gets to make all the calls. It is not Danzo’s place to overrule or question him. Minato tilts his head, usually friendly smile tight, and dismisses him without comment.

Karin breathes a tiny sigh of relief when he’s gone. Minato scoots his chair back and pulls her into his lap. It’s an extremely blatant act of affection, and Karin feels chakra ripple through his ANBU guard.

Those guys are… going to be a lot harder to learn to ignore than she anticipated. Their presence keeps her from completely melting into Minato’s arms like she would in private.

“I think that’s enough for today,” Minato tells her. “I’m exhausted.”

It’s past midnight when they get to Minato’s house. He walks her there, so she knows the way, and it’s on a completely ordinary street of family homes, each their own little yard. Minato’s house looks no different than the rest, but there’s enough invisible fuinjutsu plastered all over it that Karin feels the hair on the back of her arms raise.

It’s enough that she hesitates at the garden gate.

“This is worse than the quarry house,” she tells him.

“Oh,” he says, realization dawning on his face. “Is that, um, going to be a problem?”

It might have been, months ago. Unlike the quarry, where Minato’s chakra was everywhere but in a wild, undirected sense because the seals were mostly experimental and small, this is very definitely a series of carefully planned and layered techniques. This is dangerous, weaponized chakra.

Except it’s also very definitely all Minato, who currently looks vaguely embarrassed and is blushing adorably.

Karin is, slightly unfortunately, extremely attracted to his chakra.

“No problem,” she tells him. “Show me around?”

The guards stay in the vicinity but position themselves on the roofs of Minato’s neighbors, thank god.

Minato almost immediately gets distracted from a real conversation about where things are and where Karin can put her stuff in his house, telling her very excitedly about all the seals he’s put up that she’s now feeling. Most of them are for security or privacy, and part of the direction of the conversation is that Karin shouldn’t worry about his guard being able to see or hear them. Then he starts talking about being able to change the color of his roof for no other season than Rin dared him he couldn’t.

Nerd, Karin thinks affectionately as she wanders through rooms.

Minato’s house is roomier than she’d expect for a bachelor, with a big eat-in kitchen and three bedrooms. Kakashi doesn’t have his own family, and Karin got the impression that he’s spent a lot of medical leave time in a guest room. Minato has off-handedly mentioned Obito crashing here too. The house was clearly obtained with his team in mind.

“Ah, this is Rin’s room,” he says. “It’s probably the most comfortable, if you… don’t want… to stay with me…”

He also mentioned, when he was trying to convince her to move in with him, that Rin lived with him for eighteen months, after her Bad Day. He did not mention at the time that Rin is a jinchuriki. Karin suspects the Bad Day, the demon inside of her, and her sudden need to stay with him for a year and a half are all related, but she refrains from quizzing Minato just yet.

“Obviously I’m going to sleep with you,” Karin tells him. “Your bed has got to be more comfortable than a tree.”

It is nice to have the option, though. Karin’s current plans are to make Minato spend as much time as she can get him in bed with her, and she doesn’t anticipate that goal fading any time soon. But it makes her feel safer, to know he’ll let her set up boundaries if she wants.

Minato had not gotten up that morning knowing he was going to time travel and then bring a lady home that evening, and his bed is unmade and there’s dirty clothes on the floor. Karin toes a pair of boxers and then meets Minato’s eyes with a smirk, expecting him to look vaguely and cutely mortified.

Instead, he just looks incredibly sappy.

“What?” she asks.

“It’s just…” Minato gestures hopelessly around them, and he looks more like a guy on his first date than the confident leader she’s been watching all day. “I can’t believe I have you here.”

“Aaw,” Karin coos, batting her eyelashes playfully. “And you get to have me here indefinitely.”

She’d kind of thought, while they were walking over, that she’s too tired for sex, and she doesn’t like being able to feel ANBU crawling all over outside no matter how much privacy Minato promises, and she wasn’t going to initiate anything tonight. But she lets Minato kiss her, pull her body into his and then walk them both towards the bed, and he dips her over so gently, like she’s a delicate fucking princess or something, and what is she supposed to do? Not let him fuck her?

The sheets smell heavily of shampoo and aftershave that are not what Minato was using in her timeline. But his calloused hands are the same, and so are his lips and his chakra, and Karin manages to nearly forget about the stupid guard.

#i think this will PROBABLY take the shape of domestic scenes with off screen action/plotty things just implied #because i am Tired and i'm not writing a fleshed out sequel fix it fic lol #fic: caution to the wind #my writing

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literary-illuminati · 2 years

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Books I Read In August

38. When the Tiger Came Down The Mountain by Nghi Vo

I’m an increasingly big fan of Vo’s work. The Empress of Salt and Fortune was good, but honestly didn’t really stick with me nearly as much as this did.

Part of that is just the increased centrality of the framing device, honestly. I mean first of all I don’t really tend to have much patience for wish-fulfillment characters, but very hard to overstate how much Chih is just living the dream life (and my university indoctrination was thorough enough that the association of the study/preservation/gathering of history and sacredness seems very right and fitting to me.

Also, I just absolutely adore when the story makes a thing of unreliable narrators. Like, when someone’s telling a story and as the scene’s ending someone else interrupts and goes “You’re telling it all wrong!” and gives a completely different version that’s at least as biased in another direction? Poetry.

The actual myth with the lesbian romance and the were-tiger warlord and stuff was also a lot of fun don’t get me wrong, but like, would have been a bit forgettable without the framing device stuff around it.

Anyway, give Chih a tv show. Or at least a half dozen more novellas like this.

39. Deaf Republic by Ilya Kaminsky

This is the first actual full book of poetry I’ve read….I mean ever, probably, if we’re taking cover to cover. Certainly since I finished high school. So there’s some Culture achieved.

I was…not especially impressed, if I’m being entirely honest? Or, properly - “We Lived Happily During The War '' and “In A Time of Peace '' were both really affecting, but also I had already read both (posted here on tumblr, actually). They’re what sold me on the book. Everything between them did, well, not really live up to it?

I mean, I’m sure that there’s all manner of genius in craft and stuff that flew right over my head, but it just seemed so focused on being clever with line breaks that it failed to do much else. Like, most of the books on the list have plenty of lines that are more poetic by my (doubtlessly irredeemably philistine) definition than any of the poems that made up the middle of the book.

40. The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon

I honestly forget where I first heard about this book, but it’s been very vaguely sitting on my mental tbr list for the last few years,and the library happened to have it in, so.

Anyway, the conceit (an alternate history where WW2 went slightly differently, and also Israel lost in 1947, and through a bunch of political compromises there ended up being an autonomous federal district carved out in Alaska as a temporary national home for the Jewish people - ‘temporary’ meaning expiring on the near year as the novel takes place) is just fascinating, and Chabon had a lot of fun with little offhand references to how different the rest of the world has gotten, too. The fact that everyone speaks Yiddish but with occasional catch phrases and curses called out as being said in American was cute, too.

The story itself was just incredibly, almost painfully noir - genius of a police detective with a ruined marriage, crippling alcoholism, and no future is woken up in the middle of the night because a heroin addict who boards in the same hotel as him was found dead by gunshot, discovers that the victim was the firstborn son of a prominent underworld/religious authority, disowned and ostracized for being gay, through this he stumbles into a sinister conspiracy involving the CIA and the death of his sister. He can’t stop the conspiracy but he might just be able to get justice for the murder, etc, etc. The commitment to the genre is fun,but the late night diners and descriptions of hangovers do begin to get old eventually.

It was also kind of dated, in an interesting way? Like, the Federal government spooks being clean cut bible college boys, all polite and well mannered and sincere Christian Zionists trying to get America into a war to help bring about the End Times, really feels like the sort of thing that only gets written during the Bush Administration. (The single tragic too-good-for-the-world dead heroine addict gay guy and the constant jokes about every less-than-perfectly-feminine woman being mistaken for a lesbian, also somewhat dated).

Anyway, think my vocabulary of random Yiddish words about doubled from reading this, and also many themes about Judaism that I am not even slightly qualified to comment on.

41: Rogue Protocol by Martha Wells

This books are so fun. And just about perfectly bite-sized, too.

Or tv episode sized, really - each has about the perfect amount of plot for an hour long episode of network tv, I think. Pity they’re basically unadaptable.

Anyway, not too much to say about this, really, except that Murderbot’s complete inability to understand their own emotions would probably be annoying by now if it wasn’t so funny, and reading it really left a grin on my face.

Or well, also, I do really enjoy all the little hints that the ‘corporate rim’ is actually kind of a galactic shithole, and Murderbot just treats it like the hegemonic default because its all they know. Certainly nowhere else seems to be nearly as bad about synthetic life (nowhere’s exactly good either, mind, but).

42. Radiance by Catherynne Valente

Oh I adored this book.

I mean in large part because I’m a big fan of Valente’s prose when she gets all grandiloquent, and also the basic aesthetic of the setting (High Victorian Space Age by way of the Golden Age of Hollywood on the moon) is just utter catnip to me. But the whole epistolary pretension, telling the story through interviews after the fact and remaining scraps of documentary footage and different drafts of a dramatization made a decade latter that are each completely different genres and occasional clips of Severin’s previous films?

It’s all just showing off to an incredible degree and I’m sure if I didn’t love the book I’d find it unbearably pretentious, but I do, so it’s absolutely great.

The amateur historian in me was kind of irked by the sort of political stasis - it does the fallout thing where the fin de siecle kind of just continues uninterrupted for another fifty years bit with stranger and more wondrous tech, the apocalypse of the Great War put off by all the virgin lands to colonize and everything just kind of continuing as it was (except for the development of the film industry). But that’s kind of a theme. (Much more minorly, the world only seems to have gotten weird in the late 19th century, except that there are sovereign and internationally significant Seneca and Iroquois nations that get mentioned several times, which kind of require a fundamental change to the nature of the American state significantly before then.)

The ending also didn’t really land for me - anything about infinite multiverses honestly makes it difficult for me to stay invested, and anything where the fictional setting tries to encompass/include the ‘real world’ almost always loses me instantly (qualified exception for actual portal fantasy, if it’s good. But introducing the real world in the third act has basically only ever worked for me exactly once).

Which is a pity, because aside from those bits the ending could have been designed to appeal to me in a lab. Was so close to perfection.

43. How to Invent Everything by Ryan North

I took a three week break in the middle, so this technically took me a full calendar month to read. Library was getting pretty angry.

Anyway, I think I said it before but I stand by it - this book would be a significant improvement over the majority of currently existing middle/high school science curriculums. (In the same way that Magic School Bus and Bill Nye taught me more than science class ever did until high school (and even then)).

Anyway, did pick up a lot of interesting trivia, and the author is apparently the dinosaur comics guy(?), which really shows through in the writing (not ALL the jokes come anywhere close to landing, but the ones that don’t are mostly dad-joke like enough that it’s kind of endearing).

Also learned the exact limits of my understanding in (in decreasing order of) mechanical engineering, electricity, and computers. (I really do need someone to gently take me by the hand at some point and explain how basic logic gates doing addition and subtraction ends up with, well, tumblr, or triple A video games, or any of it. Like on a mechanical level.)

Anyway, I should take up sewing. And write the half-essay floating around my head about how horrible mines are and how morally uncomfortable that is.

44. Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach

Okay I forget who on here recommended this to me, but thanks! Was a ton of fun, great light morbid summer read.

Roach has a great sort of chatty style, and she does the thing I normally rather dislike working personal anecdotes and descriptions of people she interviewed into everything, but she honestly actually makes it work.

It came out in the early 2000s and was endearingly dated at times, and vaguely racist in a ‘the strange and exotic Orient!’ way at others, but like generally mostly holds up, I think?

It’s not nearly as difficult a read as you’d expect given the subject matter (‘the human corpse, how it decays, and things we do to it’, essentially). Or, well,that might me a be mostly a me thing, but I found it a trove of fun trivia, anyway.

(The one exception being the section on the history of the pursuit of the human head transplant, and specifically the animal experiments done on the subject. That made me more queasy than anything I can remember reading recently, which is I suppose a useful thing to know about myself.)

#monthly tally #book review #analysis/review #when the tiger came down the mountain #nghi vo #Deaf Republic #ilya kaminsky #The Yiddish Policemen's Union #michael chabon #rogue protocol #Murderbot #Martha Wells #Radiance #Catherynne Valente #How to Invent Everything #Ryan North #Stiff #Mary Roach

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aletterinthenameofsanity · 5 months

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Writing Amy Pond & A Different "Doctorification"

I'm not gonna lie- I appreciate the arc that the show had going for Amy when they weren't actively messing it up/contradicting it/writing borderline unwatchable episodes (y'know, the whole losing faith in the Doctor/growing up/choosing a life outside of the TARDIS thing), but I am having so much fun teasing out Amy's characterization in this fic series. This characterization of her that is highly based in how she acts specifically in The Eleventh Hour/Beast Below/Vincent and the Doctor, this sort of kindness with an edge, the girl who can figure things out because of her empathy and her ability to think outside the box.

We always think about Doctorification in sort of "dark" terms in this fandom, especially when it comes to the example of Clara. Like, these characters who find themselves becoming these more dangerous, ruthless version of themselves, like with Martha and Clara and Davros' whole "Children of Time" speech in Journey's End. (And I do like Clara's corruption/obsession/ruthlessness/mutual-codependence-until-it-destroys-them arc, trust me, even if I find it a little weak in places- it fascinates me.)

But what I am finding when writing Amy is that she's getting this sort of "Doctorification" arc. There is something buried in her backstory that has always struck me as desperately lonely (outside of the one-episode Mel reveal), this kid who was considered "mad" or just a "troublemaker" by everyone she knew and yet instead of letting that make her resentful to the world, it just made her kind. (Sounds familiar, doesn't it?)

And the character arc I'm writing for her is about her learning how to use her kindness/empathy to save the day, especially when it comes to her developing relationship with the TARDIS and how she connects with it on a level really only seen with the Doctor. She's already "flown" the TARDIS twice in this series (though it was nearly entirely the TARDIS who did the flying itself) and was the one to figure out that Idris was the TARDIS, because of the connection she's made with the TARDIS itself over the years, this sort of love and understanding that passes between each other due to being mutual "thieves"/"mad"/lonely/having care/love for the Doctor.

It's about how she can pick locks, which I know is a detail only mentioned in the Beast Below but I think that it points not just to the fact that Amy clearly got into trouble as a kid, but that she is clever in a way that the show didn't always let her be. She can think outside the box.

And I think it's these three things: loneliness, kindness/empathy, and cleverness/thinking-outside-the-box that I think are allowing Amy to sort of get her "Doctorification" arc in the middle of her other arcs involving her relationship to River and her romantic relationship with the Doctor/Rory.

And I really hope I can pull off something cool with it in the middle of balancing the Doctor's arc (especially as he becomes Thirteen), Bill's story, River's story (and the associated Clara story), and Rory's arc as well. It's a bit harder to juggle it all when they're not all pointing in the exact same direction (as they were with the Master arc) but I'm doing my best to pull it off. There might be slightly longer gaps between updates (maybe three days instead of two) at times, but right now it's really shaping up. I've just got to maneuver all the pieces into place.

For now, we have a reunion fic to get to and maybe some proper flying lessons for Amy and River- they've earned it by now, don't you think?

#doctor who #amy pond #eleven x amy x rory #rory williams #eleventh doctor #aletterinthenameofsanity #my fics #fanfic #ao3 #amy's doctorification arc #I wanted to see a...nicer doctorification arc #if that makes sense #not to say that Amy isn't going to get to get mad/make some big decisions/take charge #writing progress #writing process #listen I have some feelings about early amy pond #and at this point she might be ooc from the show but i can't bring myself to care #she's literally lived over a hundred years at this point that's gonna change a person somewhat

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youkaigakkou-tl · 2 years

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The Haruaki Student Arc Post

In other words: “Haruaki has a weird dream and I read way too much into it”

It’s only 2 chapters, pretty short to be called an arc, but I call it an arc anyway since it’s got enough material I thought about and wrote all of this.

Also I’ve been reading up on stuff to make the Kyoto arc post and it's kinda driving me insane so this is like a brain cleanser.

All opinions, theories etc are my own, if it’s not explicitly shown in the manga it’s my own extrapolation.

This is over 3800 words, and more coherently written than the Renren arc post, so buckle in.

Spoilers for chapter 79 and 80, I recommend you pull up those two chapters on wherever you read manga for the full experience, and also pull up whatever other chapters I mention.

OP talks about Monogatari series for a minute

My first impression of these two chapters was that it’s very similar to Zoku Owarimonogatari, in that both are “MC is the same, but trapped in a world where everyone else behaves differently”. Of course, it’s very different once you actually get into it, in Zoku Owari it’s that everyone else’s hidden parts are on full display, whereas here it’s just a slight dynamic change due to Haruaki being aged down a few years. Despite that, I think both of these serve similar purposes in the narrative, as a reflection on the MC through the lens of the other characters, and also a reaffirming of who they are as people.

(If you haven’t seen Monogatari series, it’s really good, or maybe it’s just because I like ahoge idiots?)

Anyway, the chapter, huh

Interestingly, or rather obviously, it starts in almost the exact same way as chapter 33, with the students going to play somewhere and Haruaki feeling left out. In some sense, this arc is a “Prying into Haruaki’s Problem” part 2, tackling the problem from the students’ angle instead of the teachers’ angle.

This arc gives me so many emotions, he’s still hung up about this even after all this time (crying punching walls etc I care him so much)

Notably though, he’s been through a lot more at this point compared to chapter 33, namely the events of ch33 itself, Miki arc, Ebisu’s introduction, also the whole Renren arc.

You can really see this in how much better he takes stuff in the first pages of ch79 than in ch33, how much more open he and Miki and Hatanaka are. Reading back ch33 now, it’s really become clear how Miki and Hatanaka were tiptoeing around Haruaki in their own way. (Well, also because this is before Miki ironed out his own feelings about this whole thing)

It’s also fascinating that he says this in ch33, because the fact this arc happens shows that he clearly has not come to terms with this as much as he thinks he has. Haruaki’s such an interesting character to me for this reason, he’s clearly a smart guy, but even knowing about your own feelings objectively, you can’t do anything about it.

“Haruaki!!”

Clearly, the first sign that it’s not the real Sano would be this.

I translate from the Chinese version, so it wasn’t immediately obvious this happened, since Chinese doesn’t have furigana and doesn’t differentiate “Haruaki” and “Seimei”. In early chapters they used “清明” (as opposed to “晴明”, they have slightly different readings) for “Seimei” but ultimately they dropped that. Actually, “清明” is the word for qingming festival, or tomb sweeping day, so that’s kinda cute.

Anyway, I bring this up because I only looked at the JP raws after fully reading the chapters in CN, and for a moment I was exhilarated that Sano called him “Haruaki”, and then I remembered it’s a fake Sano.

This first scene in the dream is also a clue, because in the real world Sano and Mame are rooming, and neither of them would have it any other way.

I wonder if one of Haruaki’s grievances is also his loneliness in university, since Amaaki went to a different uni to study shrine stuff, Haru probably roomed alone. (This is in a twitter comic I haven’t translated yet)

Hijita talking to Haruaki

This is a very minor thing, but if you’ll recall, Hijita is introduced as hating humans because his sister’s husband has his shit together. He ends up changing his mind and being okay with Haruaki because he’s such a pathetic meow meow.

(If you look at early chapters, you can really see which details were put in later, like how Hijita says the only humans he knows are his sister’s husband and his family, but Beniko has 3 human dads)

(Also, the detail that Haruaki “didn’t know youkai existed before now”, but he’s seen mandragoras before, also small Miki, also the creepy lady dragging Ame away, also Ame says he “fibs about seeing strange creatures all the time”. Crack answer would be he’s an airhead who doesn’t connect any dots, crack taken seriously would be he has some kind of mental issues or coping mechanism either from being Abe no Seimei’s reincarnation or not being taken seriously all the time and possible bullying, the essay for which I’ll never write because I’m not good at understanding people/characters.)

Anyway, it’s really probably just a throwaway line, if we really take it seriously probably something similar happened in this fake universe.

Mame is the MVP of this manga

Have I mentioned Mame is the MVP of this manga? No because I just realised it writing this essay. This manga straight up would not exist without Mame. First of all, I’m pretty sure he’s the student who talks to Haruaki the most, as much as or even more than Sano. If they’re in the same scene, Mame’s probably saying something to Haruaki.

(All these are just from flipping through chapters for a minute, mostly volume 1)

The second line he ever says, 4 pages into chapter 1, is asking Sano if he’s going to help Haruaki when they see him getting harassed.

In chapter 1, Sano did go up to reassure Haruaki of his own volition, but I’m sure the entire reason he decided to do that and isn’t more of a brooding emo teen is because he’s been friends with Mame.

(There's an interesting throughline here, the parallel between Mame and Sano befriending Haruaki, and Hatanaka and Miki befriending him. The “emo loner with trauma” and “extrovert animal youkai bff”)

Mame also started the biology club, which = mandragoras.

Also, Hatanaka and by extension Miki only became teachers because of Mame.

In other words, Mame really is the mascot character.

Dodgeball

This part’s a callback to chapter 5, where Sano and Haruaki do basketball combat, it even reuses the same sailor uniform joke!

Again, Mame’s on Haruaki’s side instead of Sano’s, a clear but super missable clue.

I do wonder how exactly the makuragaeshi’s fake Sano works, is it just the makuragaeshi wearing Sano’s appearance, or was a Sano of this AU created, that the makuragaeshi is just piloting? Most of this Sano’s behavior is too Sano™ for someone who doesn’t even know what name he calls Haruaki, methinks.

(Or he just called him “Haruaki” to flatter him? Sure got to me for a moment.)

This page

What can I even say? This page just destroys me. This manga is a masterpiece

Izuna-kun and Rintarou-kun

Right, now we get into the detective part of this essay. I have to respect the makuragaeshi for this (and also Tanamai-sensei) that it’s not just “dream world where Haruaki gets everything he wants”.

(Imagine I’m like this)

The entire reason I’m taking these 2 chapters seriously is that the makuragaeshi seemed surprised at all the changes ageing down Haruaki caused, so there’s more to it than “haha wacky dream world”.

I can’t help but wonder if Hatanaka in this universe is way harsher than in the real world, and if there’s a reason why.

Compare this to him being all buddy buddy with Mame and Tamao in Yoseito, as well as him being one of the first ones to warm up to Haruaki in the earliest chapters.

This is a fascinating thing to consider as well, because I reckon the reason Hatanaka gave Haruaki a chance was that Miki gave Haruaki a chance, but Miki had ulterior motives. I’d even hazard that Miki arc was planned to happen from the very beginning.

Biggest thing in this chapter about Hatanaka, that’s pointed out twice, is that he’s not married to Ibara. (He doesn’t have the scarf and doesn’t have a ring) Which also means he doesn’t have kids. I bet having a wife and kids would mellow him out some and make him tolerate students more.

Miki is also extra prickly, which is understandable, but in ch53 we see him react to Ebisu knowing about his family matters, and he doesn’t explode like he does in this chapter. Of course, there’s different parts to the equation, Miki would be more careful about what he does in front of a god than a human, but I think it’s interesting to consider.

If Haruaki was aged down, Hatanaka and Miki would not have met him on their 2nd year school trip, but it’s not like that was a formative experience for the 3 of them anyway. Maybe it was for Sano, but Sano’s totally out of the equation for this analysis, obviously.

On the topic of Sano, Ebisu doesn’t show up at all this arc. In the real world, Ebisu spies on Hyakki primarily for Sano, and Haruaki is only secondary. The reason he’s even aware of Haruaki is the TV program he did in ch17, and also meeting him in Tokyo when he got lost in ch36 to ch38, which is kinda connected to meeting him 9 years prior when little Sano gave Haruaki the talisman.

All of this would not have happened if Haruaki was aged down. He still might have gotten lost on that field trip and ended up in Kyoto, but the timing would not have lined up with Hatanaka and Miki’s school trip.

Intermission

I’m realising this Just Now, but the dream doesn’t happen at the same time of year as the real world.

They’re wearing the winter uniform in the dream (gakuran for the boys, long sleeves for the girls) which would be for October until the end of May.

Whereas the students are still in their summer uniforms in the real world (blue button up for boys, short sleeves for girls). Even for the Kyoto arc after this which definitely happens in October, they’re still not in winter uniforms, just sweater vests over the summer uniform.

This is also why the last time we see students in gakuran in the manga proper is chapter 7, even though the unbuttoned gakuran is such a delinquent look.

If I had to guess, I’d say the dream is set super early in the school year rather than after October.

In that case, this would have been before the field trip to Tokyo happened anyway, timeline-wise.

Intermission over

Miki’s situation is interesting to consider, because Haruaki was a lot more involved with him.

First of all, his mom is still sealed, so it can be assumed not much has changed about Abe no Seimei 1000 years ago.

With Haruaki aged down, he wouldn’t have met Miki when they were 10, because Haruaki would have been like, 1 year old, not at the age he would go jaunting around to the next prefecture over.

This means Miki wouldn’t have had to see Haruaki get totally murdered! Hooray!

A slight tangent. The chapter title for Miki arc is “Abe no Seimei, Haruaki Abe and Shutendouji”. Have you ever wondered how it was written in the original? No? Come on, have some curiosity.

It uses the same kanji for Abe no Seimei and Haruaki Abe, but it has 2 lines of furigana. How many other mangas get to do this? Man.

That aside, this still doesn’t explain anything, in fact the Miki in this universe is even more prickly than the real Miki. This Miki actually reminds me of the real Miki when he learned his mom was going to be unsealed.

Actually, now that I think about it, even without the trauma of seeing his new friend get eaten, he would have been an outcast at school either way for being the shutendouji’s kid.

The thing I’m hung up on mostly is Ibara. Given that “the true nature of people haven’t changed” and all, if Hatanaka and Ibara both exist, pretty good chance they would have gotten married. So, indulge me on these 2 crack theories! Don’t take anything too seriously, I’m not taking anything seriously.

Crack theory 1: Time travel real

EDIT Feb 2023: wrote a post about hatanaka time travel, go read that.

This has to do with the whole subplot in Yoseito where Yamazaki recognised Hatanaka from 100 years ago, and also Ibara recognised him. My pet theory, because it’s the easiest and most obvious one, is that there’s time travel shenanigans involved, basically the Hatanaka from a future point in the main story ended up in the past. Now, because this is a reality where Haruaki is the same age as Hatanaka and a teacher, and he’s also the number 1 causer of shenanigans, it probably has something to do with him.

Conversely, if Haruaki isn’t the same age as Hatanaka and causing shenanigans, the events from 100 years ago might be different, and Ibara wouldn’t be as inclined to notice Hatanaka and get married eventually.

That said, this is a crack theory based off another crack theory, so nothing holds water here really.

Crack theory 2: Ibara is dead

This was actually the first conclusion I came to, because my default thought process is “but what if dead?”.

This might sound insane, but I have reasons. (I think.)

It all comes back to the “their true natures haven’t changed” thing, that if Hatanaka and Ibara both exist, they would have gotten together.

It’s not a world where Ibara never existed in the first place, because Miki is a teacher after all. Mame pushed Hatanaka to become a teacher, but he might have let Miki convince him not to if Ibara wasn’t there to convince Miki as well.

So if Ibara died at some point, it would be within the 8 years between Miki’s high school years and present day.

We know that Miki’s mom has been eating his spirit energy. I also wonder if eating Haruaki/Seimei’s soul had some averse effects on Mikimom, like delaying her seal getting nearly broken by a couple years.

While Ibara is the strongest of the Miki siblings, Mikimom is still considerably stronger. She also seems to be the most willing to put herself on the line for Miki.

I guess, what I’m getting at is, something happened with Miki and their mom, and Ibara ended up dead because of it, also explaining why he’s so much more prickly at his mom being mentioned.

So anyway

Fun thought experiment, right? Like I said, it’s stupid crack theories, don’t take either of them too seriously.

Most of this mystery comes from not knowing the details of how Hatanaka and Ibara got together exactly, as well as not enough details about Ibara herself, so I imagine this will get cleared up at some point. Hatanaka being maidenless was such a big detail that it was specifically pointed out and highlighted, so I wanted to explore it for a bit.

That was a lot of words about the teachers, so I want to go back and look at the students for a bit.

Some of the obvious changes would be Beniko being a shut-in, since in the real world Haruaki directly caused her to come back to school. Straightforward.

Fuji and Ogoso aren’t friends since ch35 didn’t happen.

From that panel in the classroom we actually learn the seating arrangement of the Ogata twins (previously, both seats were just labelled “Ogata” in the tweet with the seating arrangement), Rin (black hair) sits behind Kou.

Also from that classroom panel, Haruaki is sitting in Hijita’s seat, probably not for any reason other than it’s a nice central location. The person behind him whose hair you can barely see is probably Maeda, Satsuki either isn’t in class yet or at all.

Though on the next page it seems like he’s actually in the front row seat, where Nyuudou normally sits.

Where is Dr. Takahashi

The burning question. WHERE IS HE. WHERE IS MY MALEWHORE- I mean uh doctor!!

This also entirely has to do with Utagawa and Nyuudou, which is brought up in the chapter itself, but it goes even deeper than purely “Takahashi made Utagawa’s human form”.

The only thing that’s confirmed is that “Takahashi is not a doctor”, whether this means Takahashi doesn’t exist at all or simply has a different job, I’m not sure. I actually thought the policeman near the end of ch80 is Takahashi, since Tanamai sensei has drawn Takahashi and Yamazaki clothes swap before, but it’s not certain.

If Takahashi isn’t a doctor, Nyuudou’s parents wouldn’t have had that conversation with him about human mothers and youkai children, and he wouldn’t have made that remark about youkai and human laws, which means Nyuudou’s dad wouldn’t have been pushed to get involved in politics.

“Whether they exist was changed” is coupled with Saitou Manuel becoming minister of the ministry of youkai, so I’m not sure if this is trying to imply that Nyuudou doesn’t exist or his dad doesn’t exist.

Well… either case then, Nyuudou doesn’t exist, and Utagawa Ruri wouldn’t have met him. Even if she died then, she wouldn’t have the regrets that caused her to turn into a gashadokuro. Or maybe she’s still alive as a human in this universe! It’s only stated that her “birth condition left her frail”, so there’s a chance she wouldn’t have died.

There’s also the chance that Nyuudou does exist, just that Renka ended up in a different hospital than Ruri. Takahashi had connections with the director of the hospital Renka stayed at, and had his nurses placed there, so there’s a good chance he pulled strings to have Renka there to better keep an eye on her condition.

Still, that doesn’t explain why Nyuudou isn’t in class 2-3, so I’m inclined to believe he doesn’t exist in this universe. Maybe they went to a different doctor who convinced Renka to abort.

Or maybe Hajime and Renka didn’t get married at all, for some reason? idk

The principal mentions the youkai ministry’s push for coexistence, but the reason for that in the real world is Hajime wanting a better world for his son, so what would be the reason in this universe?

See, even after, or perhaps because of, Renren’s arc, there’s still so many mysteries.

None of this answers why Takahashi has a different job/doesn’t exist either, Takahashi not being a doctor is just the catalyst for the whole Nyuudou family mystery.

If Takahashi doesn’t exist for some reason, it would explain why Yamazaki isn’t a policeman, considering the reason he got an upbringing at all was that he was basically adopted by the Takahashi family.

Still. This is like THE biggest mystery. This has haunted me ever since I first saw this arc.

Principal and Ranmaru

Just kidding this is the biggest mystery.

In the real world, the principal is actually super open about Haruaki’s powers and why he wants him here. However, in this universe he seems especially ticked off by Haruaki mentioning it, something Ranmaru points out specifically.

And Ranmaru as well, in the real world he wasn’t even aware Haruaki existed until physically meeting him in ch21, so nothing should have been able to change him creating the karasu tengu troupe.

Granted, the troupe seems to have been a recent thing he came up with, and not hundreds of years old. Still, in this universe, the principal trusted him enough to hire him?

I just… don’t know what to make of this at all? We still know so little about the principal and Ranmaru, even now. Maybe when Kyoto arc is over I’ll return to this with answers.

Anyway, Ranmaru is the homeroom teacher of 2-5 here, which is interesting because 2-5 is the only class whose homeroom teacher we don’t actually know. (obviously it’s not Ranmaru in the real world, but y’know)

Class 1 is Hatanaka, 2 is Miki, 3 is Haruaki, 4 is Mouse-sensei, and 6 is Awayama (the centaur). 5 is probably the nurikabe teacher, considering we see him hanging out with the other second year teachers.

Ranmaru’s probably 2-5 just so he wouldn’t replace a character we know and raise more questions.

Woe, this diagram be upon ye. I made this back when I translated the chapters, so it’s not an exact 1-to-1 of this post, but the rough ideas are there. Now that I look at it, what the hell are some of these points? Just consider this a peek into my brain, I guess.

Fake Sano-kun

(Harusano handholding...)

This just FEELS like a callback to camp, combining both Sano catching Haruaki and Tamao exposing Yamazaki’s Nyuudou. Although the makuragaeshi’s fake Sano is actually a lot more convincing than Yamazaki’s Nyuudou. Every other sentence Yamazaki said was out of character for Nyuudou, from leaving Tamao behind to loredropping about youkai and ghosts.

The makuragaeshi’s Sano was a lot more convincing in contrast, the only things giving him away were insulting Mame at the end and also Mame himself. Granted, he said a lot less than Yamazaki, so that’s the secret to a good impersonation really. Funny, since the impersonation that was pulled off the best was Amaaki in the Renren arc, the combination of Amaaki knowing Haruaki well, as well as not talking that much, and also Kurai’s hubris. And also Haruaki coming up with that genius double impersonator plan, because nobody expects 2 impersonators.

To you, who became a teacher

I can only DREAM that I managed to convey these two pages as eloquently as the original (and the Chinese version) did, and I’m looking forward to the official translation so I can bawl my eyes out over these two pages all over again.

(I wrote these messages while translating these two pages)

I love the way this manga just answers philosophical dilemmas so straightforwardly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Of course, the only reason he was able to say all this is because of all the work he put in, all the work he saw his students put in, and isn’t that what living means? Are you not just the sum total of your experiences, of all your hard work? Isn’t it worth it to live in the real world for the sole reason that you crafted it with your own hands?

I just think these 2 chapters are Phenomenal, Amazing, Life Changing, this is up there in my favorite chapters along with ch33. I love that even though the premise is a dream, it follows set rules and opens up interesting ideas and questions. It’s also such an important arc to reaffirm who Haruaki is as a person, and a prelude/setup to the Kyoto arc.

Thank you for reading all this, and I hope it made sense, as well as made you love these two chapters as much as me. Let me leave you with the inner color page of volume 12.

See you in the Kyoto arc post, I guess? I imagine that one will be a lot less narrative-focused than this one, and more focused on the history of Kyoto as well as Japanese mythology in general.

Also check my rambles tag for more stuff like this

#youkai gakkou no sensei hajimemashita #rambles

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bengiyo · 2 years

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My Only 12% Ep 10 Stray Thoughts

I thought the last episode was excellent, so I'm fully prepared to jump to the end of high school.

Oh lord it's Skype. We've gotta be in the early 10s now.

Oh fun New cameo with "aloneww" being on his contacts list.

It's been four years, and Cake's mom mentioned university. Looks like we may be out of high school.

An early iphone. This is kinda fun.

Also fun, a whichishit to show that the buses babe A/C now.

A wardrobe shift, a little facial hair, some hair dye, and a few shifts in how they hold themselves and their expressions does a lot to age up characters.

It's kinda subtle, but both Earth and Santa have dropped their voices slightly. A lot of consideration went into portraying different periods in this show.

It's such a relief that everyone is still so fond of each other.

Let's talk about Eiw's wall. Multiple Twilight posters. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. Avatar. Alvin and the Chipmunks 2. Alice in Wonderland. Bridge to Terabithia.

Cake instantly found Tal's photo and got jealous.

I loved the tentativeness about their first night back together before cuddling.

Very fun that Cake now has to be jealous about Eiw spending time on the phone with someone else.

Mall culture is thriving in Thailand.

I still like Cake's old friends. New and co are very good at building friend group dynamics.

Cake has a City Hunter poster!

Super stoked to see Pineare again!

Okay, I'm going to declare Earth Katsamonnat the best actor for actually managing to blush when accused of blushing, and Drake hasn't brought his ears to BL this year. Everyone else, pack it in.

Is interesting that Noey, one of Eiw's new friends, is calling out how codependent Cake and Eiw still are.

Oh, this Aoey girl is smooth, but Cake is only here for Eiw.

It is deeply refreshing to see Earth playing a character who seems comfortable in his skin. I am enamored with the way this version of Eiw moves around.

Does Cake know that he's jealous of Tal, and why he might be jealous?

I think the shop owner might be Mix, who played Dome in UWMA. He looks a bit different now that he's grown up.

Cake is just gonna mean mug Tal the whole time??

Lol, Cake is not going to let someone else touch Eiw.

It's kinda fun seeing Title in two things at once. He's playing Tal here, and Champ in Remember Me. Fascinating that both shows involve characters who age up.

Hmm, hanging out with Cream led to revelations about Cake's romances with American girls. It reminds Eiw that his feelings will likely remain unrequited. The slow zoom onto Eiw to isolate him as Cake and Cream wrestle in the background is really well done.

We really need to get inside of Cake's head, because he's been nervous all evening that Eiw might think he had girlfriends in America. We have four episodes to go, and I don't want that whole time to be about a communication gap.

That smile says a lot. I hope Cake knows how he feels about Eiw.

Oh, looking forward to Cake struggling with Eiw not needing him as much next week. Cake is a big personality, but it couldn't have been easy being a foreign student in America.

#my only 12 percent the series #my only 12 percent #my only 12%#thai bl #bl series #Ben watches

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seefasters · 1 year

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Regina spektor anon back at it again: the bj stuff w period of adjustment made me fucking crazy. The jealousy stuff, the jealousy stuff!! i had been so appalled and fascinated by how angry and dismissive bj was being about his own struggles in relation to others'. The stuff where he directly frames his absence from his family as uniquely worse than hawkeye's father. That seemed so unconscionably cruel. (Yet there is a way that he is a little bit right, cus he *is* missing crucial developmental stages in his daughter's life!!! He's very much in the wrong, but he is *just* right enough for u to get where he's coming from) Even more jarring was how physically volatile bj was being- something about punching hawkeye felt like such a crossed line. to me it felt like: theres no world where hawkeye punches back. He just lies there. It took really good, careful writing/acting to make someone behave as out of line as bj did and still come off as sympathetic. Mike Farrell really killed it, the monologue about how the first time erin called someone daddy it wasnt BJ.....

i rlly love bj, hes not necessarily my favorite character (Margaret Houlihan Nation rise), but he is probs the one i relate to the most. Hes an overachiever who is interpersonally easygoing and very invested in being *helpful* and behaving with integrity so he very capably plays emotional support while deferring his own needs perpetually. And he struggles a lot with envy, with an anxiety regarding missing out and running out of time. That line about being "so torn up with envy i almost hate him." re: radar and trapper slapped me in the face cus its a feeling i am so familiar with.

All of that repressed resentment and rage bubbles over in such a potently ugly way here, and i think it is so ugly *because* bj is usually such an easygoing yet morally upright guy. He is so invested in that version of himself that he refuses to deal with his own anger. Hawkeye, Margaret, and BJ are all Very repressed workaholics but in wildly different ways. Margaret allows herself to be snappish, overdisciplined, and aggressive. hawkeye turns everything into a joke and capitulates to bitter, cynical nihilism. BJ is too invested in his self image of casual kindness and morality to do either so consequently he has no outlet whatsoever- he just unexpectly explodes with rage every so often.

Also i was sort of curious about what you thought of this in relation to trapper actually. Like how bj differs as a friend to hawkeye, especially in this instance. Cus if i remember correctly trapper punched hawkeye in the face and it was sort of over the same thing! Trapper wanted to defect and a reason he gave is that he wanted to see his daughters. And that punch in the face was also harrowing, but the episodes/scenes in questjon play v differently while relating to eachother in fascinating ways. (Again heres an instance of hawkeyes closest companion visiting physical violence on him- violence that i dont think hawk would ever reciprocate)

I was curious of your thoughts.

hiiii!!

the trapper situation is slightly different in that a) he hits him with a duffel bag, not with his fist. still bad but probably hurts less and b) hawkeye does try to stop him and warns that he "doesn't want to use violence" which is like. he probably shouldve seen that coming. but tbh to me the trapper situation being played mostly for laughs and then dropped is just by virtue of it being in an early season. 1-3 had drama, but not like That. maybe if wayne rogers had stayed he'd get his own period of adjustment

in-universe though, i think that hawkeye was hit (and literally shoved aside) by both of his best friends because they wanted to return home that badly must've stung. because - yes, everyone wants to go home - but at some point its like is it the war or is it me lol. the man has enough abandonment issues as it is

i totally agree with your bj analysis! yes, bj is being a dick, but he's being a dick in such a natural way in this situation. it is so easy to forget that other people are suffering too when you're this disconnected from everything you've known

i think the core difference between hawkeye, margaret and bj is that margaret was born in the army and doesn't really have a civilian life to get back to, and hawkeye admitted to himself a long time ago that the war changed him and he's never going to be able to wash that off. but bj clings to his civilian life more than anyone in the 4077th (except maybe klinger - but he has different ways of showing it) and he refuses to even consider that the war could change him or his life. so when reality inevitably comes crashing down, he lashes out at people around him

#hawkeye meanwhile lashes out at himself! or the army #neither of which are admirable traits btw bj's is just more visible bc he hurts others #pranks are /kind of/ his outlet for dealing with the war but he does them more for everyone else than for himself #its me talking #vanya watches mash #long post

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squadron-of-damned · 5 months

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you were quicker than me but:

Eeny, Sholmes and Barok? That or Ryu or Kazuma.

Enoch Drebber, TGAA version. Worth noting that I sitll haven't chewed through TGAA far enough to, you know, meet him in půerson either. Anyway:

First impression: Tolp, just this once, can you be normal about a tragic, snarky, white- and long-haired man performing dubious science who is heavily implied to rebuild his body to his own image?

Impression now: Of course you can't, who was I fooling?

Favorite moment: "...You are aware that's a bomb, right? It's going to kill all of us :)"

Idea for a story: I am still writing Angelus Ex Machina and Simon Blackquill's Field Guide, so. Those two.

Unpopular opinion: This guy did not have any sexual anything with Benbert Bobinbrayne. I see where you are coming from, but actually no.

Favorite relationship: He doesn't canonically have much of them, but I think that he and Iris would be An Excellent Problem For Everyone Else... once Iris would figure out which buttons she is not meant to push in him.

Favorite headcanon: He does magic. He doesn't know it. Anything he makes works the way he assumes it is going to work. That includes things that by regular laws of physics and/or logic should NOT work. For example his prosthetic hand.

Herlock Sholmes, or as I call him since 2022 - Sherlock Holmes:

First impression: I want a refund on this guy.

Impression now: I still want a refund on this guy, but for slightly different reasons.

Favorite moment: NGL, I actually liked it when he was mean to Natsume "Yeah, you left the wounded lady there like a coward and did nothing to help her." Like, for once in this franchise inaction is worse than action.

Idea for a story: I am mulling over how it is going to go when 14-15 years old Iris finaly Finds Out Her Heritage, feels completely betrayed and decides she is Done with her flatmate and kicks him out. And Sherlock survives by a string of miracles for, like, two months, until Iris cool down and starts having some regrets.

Unpopular opinion: Mycroft Sholmes should have come at some point and shake his younger brother down to stop being a nuisance for five minutes.

Favorite relationship: I am fascinated by Sherlock & and / Yujin. How much has to be wrong with a man to live with younger more hot-headed Sherlock without fixing his face with the floor?

Favorite headcanon: He takes so many drugs behind Iris's back. He's promised countless times to stop. He lied.

Barok van Zieks:

First impression: Oh shit, we have actually competent prosecutors who do their job?

Impression now: Holy shit we have one competent prosecutor who does his job! Give that man a cake!

Favorite moment: He throws the cape away. I, an asexual, am looking very respectfully.

Idea for a story: No. He's had enough. Leave him alone. No stories. No more shenanigans. I've done Lost in Translation, that's all he has to go through.

Unpopular opinion: His racism/japanphobia is actually very well portrayed as an actively and recently learned behaviour and there is a distinctive enough difference that I - socially denser than lead - could actually tell. And that's a good thing. Narrativelly, not personality-wise.

Favorite relationship: Idk if I like Barok & | / Benbert or Barok & Kazuma more.

Favorite headcanon: A portrait of him from the Reaper of the Old Bailey era hangs during the modern times in the National Gallery. Phoenix Wright, an Art Major, had to make a smaller copy of it as an assignment, and he has an incredible beef with the concept of existence of Barok van Zieks, because he had to use a million shades of lavender for hsi hair, and it's been the wort art reproduction assignment he's ever had.

#ask memed successfully

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kpop · 2 years

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K-Pop Spotlight: Stray Kids

Masks off everyone—Stray Kids’ newest mini-album ODDINARY is finally out and it’s time to embrace the maniac within. To celebrate the new release and their upcoming fourth anniversary, we caught up with the group to talk about their new album and single, MANIAC, and the challenges and fulfillment that come with accepting your most authentic self. As a little bonus, we also asked the members to design their own Tumblr blogs (just in case you needed some inspiration). Check out our full interview below!

Tell us about your new mini-album ODDINARY in three words or less, but there’s a catch—you can’t use the words odd or ordinary.

Bang Chan: MANIACS ARE BACK!

Lee Know: Cool.

Changbin: Inner side, volcano, control.

Hyunjin: Super Power song.

HAN: Abnormal, freaky, potential are the three words that I think describe it best. We tried to describe the energy that explodes from our music in a different way this time, by slowly showing control over this energy.

Felix: Maniac, unique, and dark.

Seungmin: Interesting, fascinating, capturing hearts.

I.N: Mania, abnormal, conceptual.

Stray Kids’ music and concepts often encourage young people to be their most authentic selves regardless of other people’s opinions. How does ODDINARY fit into that narrative, and what do you hope your fans take away from it?

Bang Chan: This might not apply to everyone, but I feel like many people have experienced moments where they’re told to act normal (yep, I’ve been through that). We wanted to emphasize that “standards” don’t matter and that you have the authority to let out the “oddness” that’s been sealed inside you all this time.

Changbin: ODDINARY is a compound word that combines “ordinary” and “odd,” meaning that everyone has a normal and slightly weird side. Listeners will be able to experience the everlasting honesty and truthfulness that Stray Kids’ music has always displayed, with the more crazy side that Stray Kids have.

HAN: I hope that STAY and all listeners will be able to follow their hearts, rather than being confined by the judgment of others. I hope everyone also looks forward to the upgraded version of us.

Seungmin: Whatever situation may come, I hope that everyone is able to live in their most honest, unique way with versatility while never forgetting who they truly are. I hope our music can become a small strength.

Lightning round! You’re customizing your own Tumblr blog. Pick an aesthetic and a personal tag!

Bang Chan: Ooft... it’s hard to pick just one because my preferred aesthetics change depending on my mood. But if I had to pick one, it would be cyberpunk. The lights got me, and I’m a fanatic for futuristic stuff.

Lee Know: I want to decorate it using a clean, white tone.

Changbin: I want to use the tags #straykids, #stay, #stage, #music, which all mean a lot to Stray Kids.

Hyunjin: Vintage Tumblr, with #lovestay

HAN: I would like to decorate it like #black #chic to show a lot of calm yet cool atmosphere! I want to use the tags #black #chic #skz #loveyou #STAY.

Felix: #행복이 #felix 🐈‍⬛💛

Seungmin: #Seungtage. I really like vintage furniture and aesthetics, so I would like to decorate it using an organized brown tone.

I.N: I’m into vintage aesthetics these days, so I think I’ll go with vintage.

What was it like to meet your fans face-to-face at your SKZ’S CHOCOLATE FACTORY fanmeet after all this time? What was your favorite part?

Lee Know: I remember watching STAY clapping for us.

Hyunjin: I was so happy I could dance when I saw STAY from onstage for the first time in such a long time. Everyone was holding paper clappers. It was so cute.

Felix: Since it has been two years since we’ve had a fan meeting, seeing our STAY upfront was a very memorable and enjoyable day. We hope to see our fans again soon.

I.N: All fan meeting stages were fun, but the role-playing games we played with STAY were really fun!

What’s the meaning behind the album version titles “FRANKENSTEIN,” “MASK OFF,” and “SCANNING,” and why was it important for you to highlight them in this release?

Bang Chan: Based on the concept of the title song and the album, we thought it would be cool to use those keywords to make various versions. Based on the keywords, we can show different vibes of this album without breaking the overall vibe of the whole concept.

Changbin: We expressed the inner side that everyone has, the one that we are busy hiding.

Felix: These keywords express our emotions and lyrics about our odd sides in a world framed as ordinary. We express that it’s okay to have our own sides. We don’t have to hide when we take our masks off.

How would you say your relationships with each other have evolved over the years, especially after switching dorms and housemates?

Lee Know: I don’t feel as though a lot has changed, but I like that we have separate rooms now.

Hyunjin: I also don’t think a lot has changed because I go to the other dorms often.

HAN: After going through all the ups and downs during the past few years, we really have become inseparable. As we now have separate rooms, we’re able to have some personal time, allowing us to think more and be more relaxed by ourselves. I don’t think shared dorms affected our relationship too much because we still hit each other up whenever we’re bored and eat together.

As you approach your fourth anniversary as a group, are there moments you look back on as major instances of growth?

Seungmin: I think I was able to continuously break my personal challenges through the program Kingdom: Legendary War. While at the time I felt a lot of pressure, looking back on it, it was a precious experience that allowed me to grow.

I.N: I think we have become much more relaxed on stage, and everyone’s unique colors stand out more.

Want more of Stray Kids? Check out their new mini-album ODDINARY and the music video for “MANIAC” here.

#stray kids #oddinary #kpop spotlight

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spunky-89 · 3 years

Text

All Power (Kol Mikaelson x Female Reader)

A/N: Woo a new fic! Cause updating or finishing old WIPs is apparently not as cool. Also, this fic is a bit of a crossover from Teen Wolf, not anything like major, just some references and such.

Word Count: 1.8 k

Warnings: None that I can think of

The air was tense in the courtyard as Kol stood protectively in front of his lover, facing off against his pain-in-the-ass hybrid brother. Elijah stood between the two trying to keep them from tearing each other apart. Freya was off to the side holding herself, feeling guilty for starting this disagreement.

“You come anywhere near her Nik and I swear it will be the last thing you do.” Kol threatened.

“I don’t like liars, especially not in the house where my daughter sleeps,” Klaus growled.

“You really think I wouldn’t make sure that my girlfriend had no ill intent towards my niece? Do you think that low of me brother?”

“Enough, both of you,” Elijah spoke, turning slightly to look at his youngest brother and his lover. “Now, would you care to share what this ruckus is all about?”

“I don’t know, ask Nik.” Kol spat, rage in his eyes.

“You stand there and make me the bad guy when it is your pet human that is lying and has been her whole time with us.” Klaus proclaimed.

“And how do you know this Niklaus?” Elijah inquired.

“Because I sensed it,” Freya spoke up, moving closer to the brewing storm.

“Sensed what Freya?” Kol snapped, becoming more and more fed up with the current situation.

“Something… off,” She tried, struggling to find the words.

“You need to do better than that sister, or else this is a waste of time because you have no grounds to accuse my girlfriend of anything.”

“Enough.” The woman came out from her position behind Kol and came to stand next to him. “Please just stop, all of you.” She requested.

“Darling?” Kol gave her a questioning look and she gave a heavy sigh.

“She isn’t wrong, I’m not human,” She started, avoiding eye contact and staring at the ground. “Well, not entirely human I should say.” She then looked to Klaus, “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t sense it. I mean typically wolves have a sense for this sort of thing.” She remarked.

“Get to the point, my patients is waning fast,” Klaus warned. As he did so, Kol took a threatening step forward, only to be stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Okay, calm down. The short version is I’m a werewolf.” The woman stated plainly.

“You can’t be, you’ve never turned on a full moon,” Kol stated, looking to his girlfriend in confusion.

“That’s because I’m a different breed and I’ve learned to control it.” She then gave a bashful smile at him and said, “I also happen to have an amazing anchor that keeps me grounded.”

“That’s it,” Klaus growled and sped at the supposed werewolf and pinned her to the wall, his eyes glowing golden. “Who are you?”

She saw Kol move to intervene but she shot him a look to let her handle this. She smirked as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, opening them to reveal her eyes were glowing a vibrant purple, wolfish features taking over her face slightly. And before Klaus could make a comment or move, she dug her claws deep into his side and rake them upwards, causing him to release her in shock. She used that moment to roundhouse kick him away from her.

“Who am I? Well, I’m someone you really don’t want to piss off.” She huffed, fixing her clothes.

Kol was looking at her wide-eyed, never having seen her like that before. He watched in fascination as her face shifted back to the one he loved so much, though the claws on her hands didn’t disappear.

While Kol was focused on her, she was focused on Klaus. She knew she just poked the sleeping bear, or well in this case wolf. She acted casual, but she was ready for a full-fledged brawl. She heard him let out a chuckle, and her heart went icy cold. She knew that kind of chuckle. It was the kind that told her she’d just pissed him off and he was amused by her attempt to hurt him.

“That was a neat trick, love,” He said as he stood back up to his regular height. “But you’ll have to do a lot better than that if you want to hurt me.” He growled as his eyes flared and he started to rush towards the woman. Before he could even get close Kol threw him to the other side of the courtyard.

“I told you Nik, not a hair.” He seethed, standing protectively in front of his girlfriend, who was now minorly terrified and clutched onto the back of his jacket.

“Maybe I should just go,” She murmured to Kol.

“Nonsense, you are still welcome here,” Elijah promised.

Klaus had gotten up and was getting ready to argue when Elijah cut him off.

“Why don’t we give the lady the benefit of the doubt. As it stands, if she had wanted to harm any of us she’s had ample opportunities to do so and has not. We shall hear her out before we jump to any more conclusions.” He stated, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Everyone was slow to move, but eventually, all were gathered in the seating area.

“What do you want to know?” The woman asked, practically perched in Kol’s lap.

“First off, how is there another breed of werewolf?” Elijah asked.

“Well, there’s actually a few. I’m from the French line of werewolves, whereas your brother is of the North American breed. As far as I know, the only other breed is English wolves. But there are many different shifters out there from many cultures. Kitsune, for example, come from Japan.” She explained as best as she could.

“How is it we’ve never heard of any other wolves or shifters before?” Freya asked.

“That I am unsure of, but I’ve met loads of different shifters and other creatures. Where I come from, it’s practically a beacon for supernaturals.”

“And you can control your shifts?” Kol piped up.

“Well for the most part. The way French wolves and shifters work is that you can shift at any time, not just on the full moon. But the full moon makes us more susceptible to turning. But for older wolves, it becomes easier to control your shifts. Whereas baby wolves tend to be much more at risk of turning uncontrollably.”

She then spent the next hour or so explaining the differences between the different wolf breeds and other supernatural creatures, although she never really explained what she was. It was actually Kol that brought up the question.

“Me? Well, I’m kinda a special case. I’m a werewolf, but well, an extremely rare one. It’s why I didn’t tell you who or what I was.” She explained, clearly nervous to reveal who she was. But with one squeeze of the hand from Kol, she sighed and started speaking, “I am the twin sister of Scott McCall, the True Alpha. I am his opposite in most cases which makes us an elite team that is nearly unbeatable. So I am what is called a Compliment Alpha. Part alpha, part beta, all power. It’s why my eyes are purple. It combines the red of an alpha’s eyes and the blue of a beta’s.” She explained, once again flashing her eyes.

“Does that satisfy you Nik? Or does she have to go through her life story before you trust her?” Kol asked, seemingly done with his girlfriend being interrogated.

“I swear to you I am no threat to your family. I didn’t even know of your existence until Kol revealed who and what he was. Vampires are kinda new territory for me. This is not some evil plot to harm you or any Mikaelson. You all have become my new pack, and you don’t hurt your own pack.” She swore.

“I shall allow you to stay, but be warned little wolf, I see even the slightest hint of your inevitable betrayal and I will end you and your brother.” Klaus threatened, but instead of being scared she just gave him a smile.

“I would expect nothing less.” She teased as she stood from the couch. “But just so you know, my old pack and I are hard to kill. Trust me, many have tried, yet here I am.”

Kol stood as well and took her hand as they left for her apartment on the other end of town. He pulled her close by her shoulder and kissed her head as they walked out of the compound.

-----------

When they finally made it back to her apartment, he could see her noticeably relax.

“I have to say, darling, I’ve never seen you kick ass before but I would love to see it again,” Kol murmured as he wrapped his arms around her waist and laid kisses on her neck. She giggled and tried to push him away.

“Stooop,” She whined as she tried to wiggle out of his grip.

Kol, unfortunately, refused to let her go and held her tighter as he relished in her laughter. Moments like this were his favorite because there was just joy in the air. All troubles forgotten and burdens lifted to make room for the contentment he felt when he was with her.

The two settled down on the couch and just sat cuddled up in silence for a while. Kol was the first to break it after about half an hour.

“Would you have ever told me?” He asked, looking down at his lover who suddenly seemed very interested in the couch.

She sighed and sat up. She hated this. She knew he would eventually ask this. And she dreaded it because she didn’t have a good answer. But she knew she had to give him something.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” She started, “My identity and my secret is the reason why I ran here in the first place. The danger became too great for my brother and me to stay together. We had to separate, at least for a little while. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” She paused as she recalled the day she had to say goodbye to her mother and brother. The physical pain she felt when she got on the plane without him. “I was scared.” she admitted, “I trust you, and I wanted to tell you so many times, but…”

“But what darling? Cm’on darling, I just want to know.”

“If my identity was found out, I would have had to leave again. Which would mean leaving you. And I couldn’t- I can’t lose you too. It would break me. Shatter me to a point that I would become volatile and dangerous to those who came across me. Because my heart’s been broken a few too many times for me to be able to come back from that.” She said quietly, not realizing that tears had begun to stream down her face.

Kol pulled her back into his arms and just held her.

“I swear to you my love, no one will keep me from you. Not even my brother.” He vowed.

#kol mikaelson x reader #kol mikaelson oneshot #kol mikaelson x you #kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson #the originals #teen wolf #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #kinda au #werewolf

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i-never-even-wanted-to-be-here · 3 years

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I really wanna hear Neil and co. speak German. So have some German hcs

"Neil was fluent in German" and I think that's very sexy of him. I bet he doesn't really have an accent because he probably had to stay stealth in Europe and therefore perfected his accent. But I think if you listen closely you might hear how he still slightly struggles with our R and CH.

He can do a Swiss accent, which is hilarious.

I'd love it if he used Austrian words instead of the German versions! (I'm Austrian, let me have this) Imagine Neil addressing a rude reporter with "Oida" cause he's just done with them.

Dan asks him to translate that but he somehow can't find a good translation for it. (Because I can't)

I am aware that he doesn't know memes but "Bruder, muss los" (basically Ight I'mma head out) is his entire situation.

Nicky would call him "Dicka/ Digga" (dude) cause they're jocks.

And I'm begging for Neil to call Drew "Schatz" (darling; lit. treasure) just ONCE. He'd get a glare in return but I feel like Andrew would secretly gay panic.

Nicky's accent would be good, pure high German, since he's studied it for a long time and Erik gave him good experience. I bet they love hearing each other speak German and Erik is super supportive.

S*x happens in English tho because German dirty talk sounds DISGUSTING.

Der/die/das Nutella? They start fighting and betting until they think to ask Erik, who doesn't know it either but joins in on the discussion because he's highly opinionated on the topic. They're yelling, team bonds are being destroyed. The other Foxes think they've finally lost it.

Neil refuses to say "Schulz". Andrew considers breaking up with him about this but has a reputation to uphold so he pretends to dislike that rule as well.

Erik would show Nicky the movie "Schuh des Manitu" to culture him and they'd jam to The Superperforator Commercial because it is indeed a timeless bop.

Aaron and Andrew definitely have an accent. Apparently they have strong vocab because they use big words. I can imagine them struggling with articles and grammar tho. Andrew not so much because of his eiditic memory ofc.

Aaron wonders why tf "bitte", "so!" and "tja..." are being used in so many different contexts.

Nicky keeps a list of strange German words like Handschuhe (gloves, lit. hand shoes) and Kabelsalat (lit. cable salad) because he finds them funny.

One day Aaron behaves unusually upset and when Nicky asks him about it he says that he's mad that Haribo does NOT make him happy. Nicky joins in on being upset now. Andrew is in the back eating Haribo, unimpressed. The artificial flavours hit different that day.

manic!Andrew will directly translate German expressions like "How much clock is it?" or even worse "This is sausage to me". It annoys everyone. Most of all me.

Aaron mixing up the ways to say Why. When do you use which one? Ugh screw it, just say "warum".

When is it ss and when is it ß? Do it randomly, it is now süss and müßen (technically not wrong but you sound like a boomer)

Neil: Paradeiser (Austrian word for tomato)

Andrew: Tomate (German word for tomato)

Neil: -.-

Andrew: nobody fucking says Paradeiser ketchup!

Neil: Erdapfel (potatoe)

Andrew: that sounds horrible. It's Kartoffel.

Neil: Gelse (mosquito)

Andrew: it's Mücke

Neil: okay but get this... Polster (pillow)

Andrew: I will murder you

Nicky calling the shorter foxes Knilch, Schlingel and other cute, stupid expressions for which he gets ignored. Once he says "Füchschen" (little fox) to Andrew and that's when he snaps :)

"Stop! It all stays as it is, whether you're here or not!", Nicky yells. Neil looks very tired. It's one of these rare moments, in which he makes eye contact with Aaron and in that second, only that second, they feel a deep connection based on shared inner pain.

Anybody could be Manuel Neuer at this point and it is driving them crazy.

Aaron messes up and says "schwul" (gay) instead of "schwül" (humid) and Nicky laughs really hard at him.

Whenever one of them uses the Dativ instead of Genitiv the others immediately jump in and correct him. "It's wegen+Genitiv, you moron!!"

German jam sessions in the car on their way to Columbia. "Ich muss durch den Monsun, hinter die Welt" and "Du sitzt im Maserati Mercedes und siehst aus wie ein Loser", throw in some Trailerpark and Bausa too. They have a whole playlist with different artists and all the iconic songs. Kevin is suffering, as always.

Something is in the street and one of the boys yells "umfahren!" (run it over/ drive around it) but Nicky doesn't know which one is meant so they awkwardly swerve while screaming.

Aaron knows that German anime openings are the best. One piece, Digimon, you name it. They use anime as a form of confrontational therapy for Kevin. The two of them would watch an anime in Japanese with German subtitles.

Nicky once accidentally addressed manic!Andrew with "Sie" (formal you) instead of "du" (informal you) and Aaron would mock him going "Ihr" (very formal you) and "Eure Majestät" (your majesty) so Andrew is like "That's right, Riko can leave, I'm king now", which actually gets a little laugh out of Aaron. Nicky is really happy that they had a brief bonding moment.

"Alles bäm?", Nicky asked. In that moment Neil could've sworn he was back on German soil with his mom, drinking the clearest water, while making his way down to Stuttgart. "Läuft", he responds blinking tears away. He hadn't thought anything besides torture could make him cry.

Aaron calls Riko "Hurensohn" (son of a bitch; very common insult) once and at some point teaches Kevin how to say it.

Andrew's famous "That doesn't mean I wouldn't blow you" (Das heißt nicht, dass ich dir nicht einen blasen würde) in German sounds kinda nasty imo. But Neil's shocked "You like me?" (Du magst mich?) is honestly pretty cute.

When they're in Germany Erik once makes a stupid reference "Warum liegt da Stroh?" (Why is there straw lying around?), which is a porn reference that somehow everyone in Germany knows, even if they haven't watched it. He is surprised when, of all people, Aaron is the one who reacts with "Why are you wearing a mask?", who now has to hastily explain that in high school German class someone mentioned it and he wanted to know what it meant so he unwisely looked it up.

Erik sends Kinder Surprise Eggs to Andrew to earn his trust.

Nicky makes up stupid German sayings. "You know in situations like this they say This is really flipping my pancakes right now but at least the pigs fly high". Neil thinks it sounds fishy but doesn't know for sure because German expressions are weird so he doesn't say anything. The others just have to believe it. One day Andrew brings it up in front of Erik to impress him but Erik just blinks at him in confusion. Andrew is angery. Nicky has to hide for the rest of the day.

+Bonus

Matt finds their German conversations very fascinating and asks for a few words. Neil makes him say "Eichhörnchen" (squirrel) but Matt fails miserably.

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #nora sakavic #neil josten #andrew minyard #twinyards #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #andreil #jerejean

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angstyantoinette · 3 years

Text

Yandere! Armin Arlert Headcanons

AGED UP I REPEAT ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP-

This little blonde ball of curiosity is verrryy toxic in my Yandere version.

Armin knows how innocent he looks to other people and by playing on this, coupled with his practical and analytical genius status, boy is it so very easy for him to gain the trust of his comrades, friends and especially his Beloved.

I feel as if Armin wouldn’t be picky with a particular type, but never being attracted to an unkind or particular person he would be disgusted by in any way.

He may fall for someone who is slightly colder, or who doesn’t really know how to respond to kindness. In that scenario, Armin would be overjoyed, but very patient and giving with them; if he wasn’t Yandere.

I see him as very touch-starved and wanting, but afraid to be clingy for fear he would drive his Beloved away. In this case he would dote on you as best he could in his environment, making you fall for him even more.

You would him as endearing, and like most, innocent. Armin is smart; one might say way too smart for his own good, and being a Yandere, I feel this makes him just as dangerous as those willing to use physical violence/methods on their Beloved.

He knows that you just love his little quirks and his way of thinking. If you tell him this, he may think you only see him as valuable because of his skill for strategizing. But when you reassure him that you just love him for him, he just falls in love with you even more.

He’s worrisome about you. Every time he makes practise with your ODM gear until you’re bruised, and exhausted, ready to run into his awaiting arms. Rewarding you with cuddles and affection, Armin’s love isn’t exactly conditional; but it still isn’t normal.

But that’s if you accept his feelings, with Armin being a Yandere or not, and with your knowledge or ignorance.

If you don’t accept his feelings, whether it being for your personal reasons, or because you…um, like someone else, to put it nicely;

YOU’RE FUCKED.

He’ll smile, nod his head, maybe try a little too hard to act like he’s okay with your decision. But you understand, after all, it’s not like you haven’t been rejected before.

“We can always be friends, Armin! I’m here for you okay?”

“Yeah, Y/N, whatever you say…”

About a few weeks after his rejection, with all of the support from Eren, Mikasa and the others, Armin is slowly descending into a deep depression.

He was so sure of his feelings for you. They were his most prized possession. You made him laugh, you made him blush and god you made his pitiful life seem so much more worth living. You were the ocean, and he just wanted to drown myself in you. Like the sun he saw so rarely, you were the ray of pure light that made his body burn.

He lay awake at night, taunted and enthralled with the thoughts of you in so many different scenarios….maybe in particular, different positions.

[Yes, those kinda positions. Armin’s not always that innocent, y’all.]

He knows that the more he thinks of you in these appetizing ways, in these hurtfully satisfying scenarios, he’s never going to be able to get over you.

Rather, he’s not even going to try.

Being trapped in his fantasies, Armin is horrifically aware that these feelings are incredibly toxic, for the both of you. He just won’t let you go. Whatever it takes, Armin will commit whatever crimes he must to keep you in his life.

He sees you as being misunderstood, especially if you’re typically a colder person, hard to read, detached. Some people compare you to Levi, but Armin just knows that you, like the Corporal, have far more depth than you let on.

His intrigue doesn’t let up for a long while, as you’re constantly surprising him in new and amazing ways. You’re used to his deep interest in you after a while, but you still don’t understand him.

Armin thrives on your confusion at first, but if it drives you away from him, he’ll go into tactical mode. Staying up all night,figuring out who is calling your attention to them rather than him and what his next move should be.

With his intelligence, Armin keeps his sizzling bafflement and envy under wraps. He tells himself that maybe he had unerved you a little. He can get like that sometimes, surely you understood him well enough to know that?He obviously did find you interesting and he was willing to momentarily abandon Eren and Mikasa just to fuel his endless curiosity.

Keep in mind, this is after you reject him, and his desperation to just know you and love you is greatly overwhelming him to the highest degree. You just won’t allow him to really see you, to understand you.

Eventually, he snaps. Just not in the typical yandere way. We all know that Armin feels as though he is a nuisance, a self-proclaimed burden so he keeps most of his feelings inside, and lets them loose to either prove a point, or while under stress.

It takes a minute for him to decide what to do with you, because he knows that once he has made a choice, it has to be the right choice. He has to know and map out a detailed plan, whether it’s doable, whether he’s able to pull it off by himself, etc.

His analytical skills come into play, and he plans everything from the location, time, the equipment needed at exactly what time. By this time, he will have comepletely left you alone; abrupt and brash, and just as he planned, you were surprised. Yes, he wanted to get to know you, and you couldn’t help but feel even slightly violated and maybe even disturbed.

Your like anyone in the world, have natural curiosity and interest in just about anything. But the unfamiliar feeling of unsettlement around Armin just felt…off.

You secretly knew of his deep infatuation; people always seemed to determined to figure the silent types out, to crack them open, decipher their many secrets. In terms of this analogy, you sort of understand, maybe even sympathise with his endless novelty toward your character, but even so…just why?

Maybe it was the fact that you felt bad for him, in a sad, puppy love kinda way. Maybe you saw him as a traumatized individual, just putting his assumed coping mechanism to work, with you just in the innocent line of fire.

If he kidnaps you at all, Armin will smother you. Telling you how much you mean to him, explaining that only he can access your wonder and intrigue. Because, after all, he worked this hard to get you; why would he ever share you with anyone else?

Although he will be stern, he’ll always be nice about it, rewarding you or not.

You’re an enigma to Armin Arlert, keeping him guessing, testing his patience with all of your being. You don’t know it, but soon you’ll be in his possession.

I headcanon him as seeing your refusal, your blatant rejection as some kind of ‘disease.’ You haven’t even seen the best of him yet, why make up your mind about something that you know almost nothing of? Oh well, you’ll have plenty of time to get to know each other very soon. He’ll bare his injured soul to you, and you’ll have mo choice but to do the same for him. It’s what married couples do after all, right?

Just let him love you, Y/N. Let Armin adore you. It’s the best thing to do if you want everyone to live.

Glassy, still sapphire eyes simply stared at you in the weak light of a stolen candle. You couldn’t quite pinpoint what they were saying, those beautiful, dangerous, albeit loving eyes. But yet, they also held malice in their abyss’. Endless, bottomless, simply divine they were. That was all you knew.

“Why…do you lie to me?” he murmered. A small, rough palm came to rest against your hollowed cheek, fingertips gently tapping against the skin. Realising how close he truly was, you tried your hardest to get away, shifting in your place in the surprisingly plush, old bed, but all it took was a flash of blonde hair to whip past your face, before he succeeded in holding your arms down.

While he never did this explicitly to punish or harm you, Armin always knew just how to exert his power. Never mind the boundaries that he installed in you the day of your arrival; he didn’t care for them as much as you had to pretend to.

This Armin was unhinged. Normalcy could never be considered in this relationship. He could never understand the pain he put you through. To Armin, it was all in the name of his devotion. All of his interest had been rooted in one fact; you refused to love him.

Once he figured out that you wouldn’t couldn’t love him of your own accord, he became enamoured with something he just knew he could never have.

He had never even thought about taking you, drugging you, dragging you to a secluded spot in the woods, or an out of bounds room, derelict over many years.

“I never intended to take you like this, bunny.”

Swallowing hard, you tried to look him in the eyes, gently lifting your head higher and higher until his blue pools of mere unhinged insanity met your own pained orbs. Seeming to like this, he smiled.

His perfect teeth looked more like fangs in the dim, weak moonlight. It had felt like he had managed to suck every molecule of beauty from even the most simple of things.

His voice sounded like the devil; harsh, unforgiving lilting tones of false hope daring to stroke you face and make you think you had a good chance at happiness.

You didn’t know when he stopped being Armin and began being a monster. You didn’t know if the lines could be blurred any further.

“I never wanted this, Armin-”

“Don’t play with me, bunny,” he snapped. His slender fingers wound themselves in your clean hair, twisting and searching for a soft spot to pull. When he found it, he lightly tugged; barely, but you still winced from the thought of the last time he did this.

You still wanted to believe that he was quiet, sweet Armin who still had an unstoppable fascination with you, but he was harmless then. Or was he? Was he faking his intentions? Did he have it planned from the very beginning?

You wanted to choke yourself for believing his simple demeanour, his dedication to the cause of the Survey Corps just like everyone else. He was a liar. He was a predator in all ways, ensnaring you, his perfect prey.

Only now had Armin realized just how confused you were.

You didn’t understand his love for you. You thought he hated you!

Now that wouldn’t do.

Armin could have have kicked himself. All of his stern discipline and rules stemming from his love and protection meant that you mistook for him being cruel. He was doing this out of his devotion!

How could he assume you would understand if he never told you, if he never proved his love?

“Armin, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything, I swear-” You took a deep breath, cutting yourself off. Now was not the place or time to be losing your composure; you still were trying to get used to the fact that you were being held against your will.

“Hush”, he suddenly murmured, gently taking your chin in his fingertips, before moving them to tenderly cup your face, his eyes darting anywhere that he could lay his gaze upon.

The gestures were so tender you found your cheeks erupting with a wild blush, the burning shame hitting you moments later when your hatred and slight fear hit you like a slap to the face.

Your embarassment only got worse when you felt his soft lips kiss your throat, his warm breath flush against your skin. His hands found themselves back in your hair again, stroking it, petting it, twisting it round and round his finger. His right hand caressed your nape, spreading his fingers so that they only just covered the width of your neck, and he pulled you closer, so that your head was nuzzled into his neck, buried beneath his love and fascination.

It all clicked.

Armin wasn’t just interested in you.

He was obessed with you.

Obsessively in love with you.

You felt pathetic. You felt weak. But in a strange way, you also felt loved.

You had no choice but to resign yourself to his touch, letting your head fall limp as he cradled you to his chest.

“Good bunny.”

#yandere aot #yandere snk #yandere armin #armin arlert x reader #attack on titan #yandere #headcanons #yandere attack on titan #Headcanon #hc's #armin x reader

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bubbleteaimagines · 3 years

Note

One-shot: Y/n Is Spiderman(Andrew Garfield Version) and goes to Forks High School, and Is a loner, and orphan. The Cullens are curious, about him, because Edward can't read his mind because of his Spider-Sense, and Alice can't see his future. Also because his blood, and scent acts as an anchor to The Cullens to control their bloodlust which makes them appreciate him more, and're always near him in school so Jasper doesn't go outta control.

the amazing spider-man

twilight one shot

twilight & spider man crossover, male!reader x the cullens

no warnings really

your senses were in overdrive as you entered the small cafeteria. not just because you were now surrounded by hundreds of chatty teenagers, but because they were there.

the cullens has been on your radar for quite a long time. having fought vampires before, it was your nature to inspect them before they became a threat.

you had known that the cullen’s were a ‘special’ breed of vampires, choosing to only feed on animals than humans.

it was nobel act but still, you had to be cautious.

you took a seat at an empty table and gently set your lunch down. after months of attending forks high school, you still hadn’t made very many friends. instead, you preferred the silence of being alone.

you took a bite out of your sandwich and just as you did, you smelled them.

looking up, you saw the five unnatural creatures walking into the cafeteria like they owned the place. the blonde, rosalie, was scowling at all the people that gawked at her. the burly brunette, emmett, had an arm around her protectivly. jasper, the one you knew had the most trouble controlling himself, was being reassured by his mate alice. and edward...well...he looked the most normal as he wore an expression that was downright miserable.

you noticed them the second they entered the cafeteria. your senses tingled, warning you of danger. but they didn’t seem to notice you though, at least not yet. it would be a couple seconds before edward realized that he couldn’t read your mind, and that your blood was calling out to them in a way different than everybody else’s.

you slumped back into your seat as the curious vampires turned to you. with your hearing, you knew that they were talking about you.

“do you guys smell that?” emmett asked his siblings, nodding his head in your general direction so fast you almost missed it.

“it’s coming him,” edward hissed, motioning towards you. “i can’t read his mind.”

“and i can’t see his future, either,” alice said worriedly.

“do you suppose he’s something supernatural, too?” jasper asked.

“not likely. just a really rare human,” rosalie said.

you almost smirked. oh, if only they knew.

shaking your head, you leaned back into your seat. you had biology with edward and jasper next. you’d learn more about them there, but for now, you enjoyed your lunch and let them speculate over who exactly you were.

the classroom filled up quickly.

and you were late, no thanks to flash thompson, a boy that seemed to have it out for you ever since you arrived.

he had tripped you in the hallway, and because of this you weren’t able to get a good seat.

you were hoping to be somewhere near the cullens, but by the time you had arrived they had already stolen your table in the back.

you scowled as you had to sit in a middle row, next to a clumsy girl named bella. you hated that you were so exposed, but luckily bella was just as antisocial as you were.

she made no move to talk or even want to acknowledge your presence during the whole class. the only time she had to speak to you was during the lab you guys were working on, and it was because she asked for a bandaid.

“papercut,” she whispered, her cheeks turning red at your expression.

you looked horrified, but it wasn’t because of her.

it was because you currently had two vampires behind you, knowing that at least one of them could barley control themselves.

you froze up, your instincts kicking in just in case you needed to stop them.

but...you dared to take a peak back at the cullens.

you didn’t know what you expected — maybe them staring at bella with dark eyes with their fangs bared or something — but in reality, it was none of that.

both edward and jasper seemed to be in complete control, not even phased by the human girl’s blood. in fact, as far as you could see their eyes were still as gold as honey.

they weren’t even looking at bella.

but that was because they had their attention on someone else.

someone who’s scent seemed to cancel out everything else in the room.

you.

the confrontation came shortly after school that day.

because you were an orphan and lived by yourself, you had the pleasure of walking yourself home.

only, that’s not quite what happened.

for some reason, you decided to walk through the forest that day and use your webs to swing around. it was honestly your favorite thing to do. there was nothing more liberating than swinging above the tallest trees, and saying hi to the birds that flew in the sky.

you had just made your way past a river and was pertched in a tree when you saw them.

or rather, your senses alerted you of their presence and a second later, they were there.

all seven cullens seemed to be gathered at the base of your tree. it shocked you, and you began wondering why in the hell they were there. you tried to hide but you knew it was no use, they could smell you.

“hello there! do you mind coming down? my family and i would like to talk to you,” carlisle, the leader of the group who you knew to be a doctor and had the most control, spoke.

his golden eyes held kindness and he held his hands up to show he wasn’t a threat. the others simply stared at you curiously.

“and how do i know you’re not being genuine?” you called back down to them, hanging onto the tree. “i’ve met your kind before. most if not all want to kill me.”

“we’re different,” a woman, esme, spoke up. “but i’m sure you already know that. because you’re different, too, right? you’re not human.”

“partially,” you found yourself correcting. “i had an...accident a few years ago. now i am what i am.”

“please, just come down. we can talk about this in a more comfortable setting,” carlisle said.

you found yourself hesitant for a moment. sure, their eyes were golden but they were still vampires, right?

but then again...if they wanted to kill you they wouldn’t have entertained you for that long. despite living forever, vampires had no patience when it came to a meal.

“...fine...,” you reluctantly agreed and got your webs ready, “i’m coming down.”

the forks breeze whipped at your face as you latched your webs onto a tree and swung down. the cullens looked absolutely amazed as you landed in front of them, unharmed.

“how did you do that?” emmett wasted no time in asking. he sounded beyond excited.

you almost smiled. “long story. i was bitten by a spider and now i have all the capabilities except i’m human,” you explained.

“fascinating,” edward whispered. “is that why i can’t read your mind?”

“or why i can’t see your future?” alice piped up.

“probably,” you merely shrugged. “but i can’t be for sure. i don’t really know much on vampires, except how to kill them.”

the family looked stunned at your revelation.

“why are you here?” rosalie asked cautiously, her body language changing to protect her family. “what do you want with us?”

“what i want with all vampires,” you told them. “i don’t wanna hurt you but i will if you hurt any humans.”

“jasper told us that you prevented that, though,” carlisle spoke up. “around your blood...he wasn’t even phased.”

“it was like everything else cancelled out,” jasper confessed. “this girl...she had a paper cut but it didn’t even bother me.”

“and it was because of him?” rosalie asked astonished.

you blushed slightly as they all turned to you.

“didn’t know i had that effect,” you muttered.

“would you be willing to talk more?” carlisle asked. “my family and i, we live not too far from here. perhaps we can talk more and see if maybe, you could help us.”

“help you? you mean like with your thirst?” you asked.

“precisely. if you can stop jasper...” edward shook his head. “i heard his thoughts. isabella is alive because of you. if we can find out more, then maybe...”

“maybe we could have a real shot at not thirsting for human blood anymore,” rosalie said.

the meeting with cullens had been strange, to say the least. but it was also nothing short of fascinating.

it took you a while to open up, but after discovering that your blood was somewhat of an anchor to them you found yourself actually wanting to help the cullens.

they weren’t bad people. and if they all had a choice, they wouldn’t be what they were.

you knew jasper especially had regrets about being a vampire. he had a hard time controlling himself around humans after decades of drinking their blood.

but now, you had decided to come to an agreement with them.

if they helped you hunt rouge vampires that were feeding on humans, then you’d stick around and help them control their thirst.

that was precisely why, a week later, the whole cafeteria stared as you walked in with them side-by-side.

for once, jasper didn’t look tortured as he walked passed the array of humans. alice didn’t have to search the future constantly wondering if he’d hurt anybody.

rosalie and emmett were over the moon at the possibly that you could help them adopt a baby since their thirst was under control.

and edward...well...

he still looked miserable, but you supposed you couldn’t help everyone. besides, it wasn’t because he had to endure thoughts coming from a room full of teenagers.

it was because, for some reason, he still thirsted for isabella swan.

but that was a story for another day.

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