ashleyh713fanfics

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku's Sister Ch17 and Ch18

Double Upload:

Chapter 17: Here To Save The Princess"

Chapter 18: Friends With A Freak Like You"

Summary: Dazai, Chuuya, and Odasaku's little sister find themselves in the worst possible situation, kidnapped by a group out to take down the infamous port mafia. They get the idea to use Dazai's girlfriend for leverage to make him squirm but perhaps that wasn't the the smartest option after all.

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, pm!sixteen year old chuuya, forced kiss, death, murder, suicide mentions, violence, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp and a clingy baby boy, poor chuuya is lost, confused and tormented from all angles for most of this. chuuya is a meanie but it's for a purpose.

(This is chapter seventeen and eighteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)e

Master List Here

A03 Here

Work Count: 15k total

Chapter 17:

Well this day was getting worse and worse. 

And that was because the ginger mafioso was probably in the worst position he could possibly be in at the moment. Sure, he was no stranger to attempted kidnappings and blackmail but this was something else entirely. 

There were a few things that Chuuya took note of the moment he woke up. The first was the pounding headache in the back of his temple from where that mafia bastard struck him upside the head, the second was the fact that his hands were cuffed and useless hanging above him because of the annoying ability suppressors he’d been forced to put on and the third was dingy disgusting cell he found himself in, the area clearly underground and out of sight. 

But all of that didn’t compare to the numb feeling of his muscles, the boy unable to move even an inch of his limbs in order to curse to himself internally. Shit, they drugged him also, didn’t they? That’s why he couldn’t feel anything right now, why his head was still swimming with groggy resolve.

Well that was a smart move on his captives part though, considering that even without his gravity manipulation Chuuya was still a force of physical strength. Seemed like they accounted for that as well. These idiots must’ve been planning this for a while then. 

But that just meant that getting out of here was going to be more of a pain in the ass than he first thought it would be. Just great. Of course it wasn’t gonna be easy. When is it ever? 

First things first, he had to find Dazai and get out of here. 

Suppressing another groan, his ears then perked up in order to glance to his left and find Dazai’s girlfriend in the same exact position, her head lulling with a moan of pain in order to push against her now restrained hands with confusion. 

And almost immediately, Chuuya felt his heart sink into his chest. Damn it, that’s right. This girl had gotten stuck in the crossfire as well, taken as leverage for the executive to squirm. No, this was bad. She was probably so scared right now. 

Listening to her slowly grow lucid, the boy then watched her start to blink back to reality before turning her head with a soft breathy whisper. “C-Chuuya..?” 

If he had use of his muscles he would’ve nodded, but because he didn’t Chuuya settled for a vocal response, coaxing her as gently as possible. “Hey yeah, it’s me. I’m right here. It’s gonna be okay, alright? I’m gonna get you out of here I promise. Nothings gonna happen to you, okay?” 

And he meant that, because even if that selfish mackerel didn’t protect her, he knew he had to. She didn’t belong here after all, this poor girl just got dragged into the darkness without a word. That meant it was his responsibility to pull her back into the light before it was too late. 

It didn’t matter if he couldn't’ move his limbs right now, he’d find a way. He’d get her out of here even if it was the last thing he did. 

Yet just as he thought that, the basement door seemed to swing open revealing a kid around their age, his eyes hungry and wild as he glanced at the ginger haired boy with intent. Wait, he knew this guy, Chuuya had seen him in the hallways of the port once or twice.

Ah shit, what was his name again? He couldn’t even remember. 

 He was a low level errant dog for the organization and now a part of the mafioso’s that had stepped out of line. What a stupid idiot, didn’t he know he’d hang for this kind of betrayal? 

The kid didn’t bat an eye though, simply stopping in front of his chained colleague before crossing his arms with amusement. “The great gravity manipulator, oh how hard he falls. Looks like Mori put his trust in the wrong people after all.” 

Chuuya only scoffed in response, not feeling very intimated. “Jealous bastard, looks like the boss was right, demoting you to an insignificant little nobody. Screwing him over, you just signed your own death wish.”

Humming back in response, the captive then leaned down to Chuuya’s eye level before ramming his fists into the boy’s stomach, causing him to gasp out in surprise as the kid laughed at his misery. “No, I don't think I did, considering I just got my hands on two of the most powerful and valuable pieces the port mafia has to offer.” 

The kid then clawed his fingers into Chuuya’s scalp in order to make the ginger look straight at him. “You see, once I get you and Dazai to spill Mori’s dirty little secrets and follow me instead, I’ll have more than just my freedom, I’ll have the world and not even Mori will be able to stand in our way.” 

Follow him instead? What a stupid idiot. This guy didn’t just want to break free from his lowly position, he wanted to succeed the boss as the leader of the port mafia. Such naive thinking, he really was a kid, wanting more than what was physically possible. 

So much so, Chuuya only laughed at his pathetic attempts. “Yeah? And you do know that Dazai doesn’t follow rules very well, right? Not even the boss can tie him down so good luck trying to get me and him to do jack shit.” 

And he hoped that would be enough to make this pathetic whiny kid rethink his plans but it only caused his shit eating grin to grow tenfold before letting go of Chuuya���s scalp in order to hook his fingers around the restraints holding his hands together. “Oh, but don’t you see that it’s already been proven? We have a secret weapon, after all. One that even got the fearsome Nakahara Chuuya to disarm himself willingly.”

Feeling his eyes hollow at the implication of the kid’s words, he then watched his captor slowly step away in order to turn towards the shaking and clearly fearful girl to his left. “Such power you have, a pretty little thing like you. I almost feel bad that you got caught up in all of this.” 

He then leaned down towards her in order to tap her cheek with his finger condescendingly as she tried to lean away. “I mean, my men wanted to drug you as well but that’s not the way to treat a lady, now is it? You should be thanking me for being so gentle.” 

Chuuya wanted to be sick though, watching this slimy worm touch her like that. He didn’t care if this guy was the same age as them, she was too nice of a person to be treated that awfully. And saying that she should be thanking him for his abuse? 

Fuck that, this kid was dead.  “Don’t you fucking dare, you bastard! Get away from her!” 

But with no use of his body, the ginger found it difficult to act on his threat, and his captor knew that as well, using the opportunity to roughly latch onto her cheeks and force her to look up at him with cocky resolve. 

Then, she spoke, her voice laced with so much confusion and terror that he made Chuuya’s heart break right in half.  “I-I don’t understand..what’s going on..?” 

The traitor then twisted his lips upwards before pouting them out in the most degrading way possible to make her seem stupid. “Aww poor baby, let me explain it to you in simple terms. Your boyfriend has a lot of enemies and since they can’t get to him, you're the next best thing.”

Her response was barely a whisper. “W-What..?” 

Turning his head to the side in a mocking manner, the kid then dug his nails into her cheeks a little rougher, feeling her head jerk at the sudden pain before leaning closer until she could feel his breath on her face. “Still too complex for you? I’ll dumb it down some more. We are using you to hurt him, doll.” 

He then watched her lips push together for a millisecond, almost like she was trying to hold some sort of response before finally releasing them. “H-Hurt, why me?” 

And because her display was just absolutely pathetic, the traitor let go of his hold in order to slimy run his finger across the reddened spots on her skin with a condescending hum. “Because you are the demon prodigy’s precious girlfriend, that’s why. Your sweet innocent little demeanor is just begging to be corrupted for anyone’s personal gain. What an idiot Dazai is, attaching himself to such a scared little rabbit, cocky that he’ll protect you even though he’s already failed so miserably.” 

He wondered why a man like Dazai would ever pick someone as weak as her to be his beloved treasure. Because from the looks of it, the girl was nothing special. Hell, he had even heard that she had even ran straight into the line of fire the moment she found out the guy was kidnapped. 

It was almost as if the idiot wanted to get taken hostage by acting so foolishly

What a stupid response, she didn’t stand a chance in this world, did she? 

Chuckling to himself, the kid then reached his other hand into his pocket, pulling out a switchblade and holding the knife close to her throat with psychotic glee. “I wonder what kind of expression he’ll make if I bring him a finger or an earlobe of his precious little lover? Surely he’ll be more complacent in my plans to take down Mori then, don’t you think, doll?” 

Once again, her head jerked against his hand, causing the traitor to laugh in order to push the side of his blade even closer to her neck, leaving a thin line of blood in its place and compelling her to still. 

And a second later she did, Asagao no longer fighting his hold for fear of getting her throat cut open completely. Huh, she could take orders well. What a good little doll she was. 

Yet that’s when he heard her voice again, the tone slightly more confident from her previous remarks, almost like she couldn’t help the change. “B-But hypothetically what if that Mori guy finds out about all of this? If he sees that Osamu is getting blackmailed then he won’t give him any more secrets, right?”

Her question was strangely intelligent, more so than any of the other pathetic responses she had been giving. 

So much so, the kid decided to mock her for it. “What a surprisingly diligent question for a stupid little civilian. Yes, that’s true but Mori will never find out about this conversation today so he’ll be none the wiser.” 

Shrugging his shoulders carelessly, the boy hummed. “The only ones that know about my plan are you, Chuuya and Dazai and by the end of today all of you will either be disposed of or on my side so it doesn’t matter. Nothing is getting out today. I’ve made sure of it.” 

Asagao then took in his words for a moment before replying shortly. “And what if that doesn't work? What if taking me doesn’t change anything and Osamu still doesn’t listen like Chuuya says he won’t?” 

The kid only turned his head though, like the answer was simple. “Then we’ll just kill you.” 

And that seemed to be enough for Chuuya, the boy shouting from across the room in order to break his threat immediately. “Like hell! Don’t listen to him, Asa. I won’t let anyone lay a hand on you.” 

The traitor only snorted in reply though, glancing back towards the pathetically bound ginger haired boy next to him. “Says the boy that’s completely incapacitated. Face it, Chuuya. You can’t do shit. Here, I’ll show you.” 

Leaning back down towards Asa’s eye level, the kid then reached forward in order to wrap his fingers around the large circular framed glasses that hid her expression. “Come on, doll. Let’s see those pretty tears I know you’re hiding, hmm?”

He then slowly pulled off the metal objects, a shit eating grin on his face as he waited with bated breath to see just how distraught and terrified his little hostage was. Based on her body language and response thus far it was sure to be a sight. 

Asagao immediately protested as well, trying to shift her head away with a pathetic whimper. “N-No..don’t..” 

And from the angle he was at and the drugs in his system, the ginger couldn’t see Asagao’s face, unable to turn his head in any capacity except for his wild and anxious eyes.

But even still, he could see enough as the gross bastard's fingers finally fully pulled off her glasses with a victorious chuckle despite his own threats. “I said don’t touch..!’

Yet that’s when Chuuya watched the traitor’s smile quickly fizzle away and physically flinch, reeling backwards a couple steps with wide eyes, like he was gazing at some kind of ghost or demon. “W-What the hell..” 

It was so surprising then that the kid tripped over his own feet, falling straight on his ass in order to stare hollowly at the girl before him. But what the hell was this guy seeing that was so scary? Nothing about Asagao had been scary to Chuuya. 

What could’ve possibly gained such a reaction?

But for the traitor, he couldn’t seem to look away, locked onto the hollow and dead eyes staring right through his soul, void of life, void of care. They swallowed him whole without a second thought, leaving him to drown in her own scrutiny. 

He had never seen that kind of look from anyone before. She wasn’t crying or scared at all. In fact, her eyes held no reaction whatsoever to his rough treatment, almost like it didn’t shake her in any kind of way, like nothing could shake her in any kind of way. 

Finally gaining the courage to crawl closer, the kid then reached out a shaky hand in order to pull her face closer with quiet inspection. “What an ugly beast you turned out to be. No wonder why Dazai chose you, only a demon could love a face like that.”  

His words were cruel, causing Chuuya to yell out another obscenity but the traitor hardly cared, watching as his insults did nothing to the hollow expression in her eyes, the words simply fizzling away the minute they reached her ears. 

This girl, was she even human?

Feeling a chill creep up his spine from the reaction, the kid then quickly pushed his hand up in order to cover her haunted iris’ and shove her head into the prison wall behind him with an anxious yet amused chuckle of insanity. 

What was he getting so worked up about? She was just a defenseless princess, helpless at his mercy. So what if she had scary eyes, it didn’t change the fact that he had the upper hand here, and he needed to prove that.

Because of that, the traitor sought for his power back, glancing down towards her quivering lips in order to lean closer to her ear with a breathy whisper of depravity. “But when I do this you aren’t so bad. Perhaps I should see what the executive sees in you, hmm? My, how furious he’ll be to learn that I tasted his lover like this.”

Then before Asa could speak, the kid forced his lips onto hers, shoving her further into the prison wall as Chuuya’s eyes grew livid with complete and absolute rage. That shitty traitorous bastard, just what was he doing?!

His voice bounced off the wall in an instant, forcing his body to move through the drugs to no avail as the tone turned hoarse and yet lethally dangerous. “Stop it, you bastard!! You’re so fucking dead, you hear me?! I’m gonna kill you!!” 

The traitor didn’t listen though, his palm pushing further into her blinded eyes in order to press his body closer to hers and lay claim to the one thing the demon prodigy had taken for his own. 

That’s right. He’d soil her lips, corrupt her with his touch, control her consent and then that executive would regret ever denying his orders. 

Finally pulling back a second later, he then licked his lips in a disgusting manner before removing his hands from her eyes in order to forcibly pull the bow from her hair as the wild auburn strands cascaded across her face in order to cover her expression. 

Then he playfully spun her glasses around on his fingers in order to slip them back into his pocket with a smirk. “Now that’s taken care of, I’m gonna go pay your boyfriend a visit and show him these. You better pray that he cares enough to keep you alive, doll. Or else things won’t be ending well for you.” 

Laughing to himself, the traitor then turned around in order to ascend the steps behind him and slam the door loudly before Chuuya immediately turned towards the silent girl to his left in order to shake his head with invisible pain. 

He wanted to speak to her, to tell her that everything was going to be alright but things were looking grim. He was sure that Dazai wouldn’t care about her life which meant that if he didn’t get out of here soon, things would be over for her. 

Shit, he didn’t want any of this to happen, especially to her. She was so sweet and kind to him back in that cafe, she didn’t deserve to deal with Dazai’s bullshit and now look at what happened. 

She was utterly destroyed because of the selfish desires of a demon.

------- 

Strolling melodically through the abandoned building that was now his makeshift compound, the traitor threw open the double doors in front of him in order to come face to face with the demon prodigy himself.

He looked absolutely unbothered, chained to a metal chair in the very center of the room with nothing else around it. And even though he was just as helpless as Asagao and Chuuya, it certainly didn’t feel like it. 

That was the problem with Dazai, he always seemed to have the upper hand, when in fact it was the kid that held all the power. “Ready to talk yet, executive?” 

Dazai only lifted his head absentmindedly though, absolutely calm and collected. “Nah, I don’t think I wanna..sorry..” 

He wasn’t sorry though, that much was evident from the cocky ass grin on his face. Well, then let’s see how he reacts to this. “Then maybe this will change your mind.” 

Throwing the circular glasses onto the floor in front of him, the kid then watched as Dazai’s smile slowly fell in order to stare at the ominous objects in a tense silence. 

Yes, this was it. He knew that girl was his weak point. Now he could control the great demon in whatever way he wanted. Mori was a goner. 

Yet that’s when the mafioso simply snorted at the glasses in order to laugh rather hysterically under his breath, almost like he had just seen the funniest thing known to man. 

Already growing furious from his reaction, the traitor shouted back. “What are you laughing about? Don’t you get it? I have your girl! She’s chained up and at my mercy right now along with your orange haired partner!” 

Once again though, the demon laughed even harder. “At your mercy? You really think that, huh? You and Chuuya are the same kind of stupid it seems..” 

Almost immediately, the kid felt his cheeks flush with embarrassment for his lackluster reaction. Why was he acting like that? Didn’t he understand the situation he was in at all? “S-Stupid!? I’m serious, I’ll hurt her if you don’t comply with my demands!” 

Finally getting his unruly giggles under control, the executive then narrowed his unbandaged eye in cold resolve at the traitor before simply shrugging his shoulders. “Okay, go ahead and try it.” 

Okay ahead and try it? That’s all he had to say? What the hell, what a horribly lukewarm response. This was Dazai’s girlfriend he was talking about. He should’ve been spiraling in a blind rage or begging for her release, right? 

So why was he instead coaxing him to go through with his threat? Was Chuuya right, did he truly not care about the bound auburn haired civilian he had been hanging off of all day? 

Feeling at a loss with the boy, his captor couldn’t help but stutter. “W-What? What does that mean? You really don’t care about her? That innocent stupid girl, you’ll really let her die like that?”  

The air was silent then, watching as Dazai simply took in his words before his lips curved upwards into a wince of a smile almost like he couldn’t help it. “As if she’d allow someone like you to pull the trigger.”

And there was a surprising amount of emotions behind that smile, ones that the traitor noticed but couldn’t decipher whatsoever. They felt bitter, like an unruly regret mixed with jealousy and yet soft like a hidden promise all at the same time. 

So much so, the look caused the kid to finally lose his temper and point a finger at the clearly calm mafioso. “Enough! I’ll bring the girl in here myself and then you’ll see just how serious I am. Let’s see how defiant you are when I force you to watch her bleed firsthand.” 

And he hoped that would be enough to make him crack, to shatter the carefully crafted expression that was painted on his face. He had to react to that, right? Anyone would falter when face to face with their crying and screaming lover. 

Yet that’s when Dazai simply hummed under his breath in order to turn his head towards the side with precise precision. “Oh, I wouldn’t suggest that if I were you..” 

Finally, now they were getting somewhere. At last Dazai was threatening him now. That showed that he cared in some kind of capacity. 

Twisting his lips into a lethal smirk, the traitor then leaned forward into the mafioso’s face, knowing he got under his skin. “Why, because you’ll make me regret it?” 

Although the demon then narrowed his eyes in response before pushing his lips together a sing-song tone, kicking his bound feet absentmindedly under the chair. “Wronggg, it's not me you have to worry about.” 

The response mocked him in the worst possible way, causing the kid’s anger to spike even more. What the hell did that mean? What could be more fearsome than the demon prodigy? Surely nothing. 

Shaking his head absentmindedly, the kid then brushed the comment off before turning around in order to speak as he left. “If you’re talking about Chuuya, he's been incapacitated along with the girl. No one is going to save her.” 

Yet the moment he disappeared, Dazai lifted his head up to the ceiling, a cruel and waiting smile upon his lips as he thought about the utter destruction that would be on that guy’s face when he found out the truth.  

Of course he wasn’t talking about Chuuya. 

“You're speaking as if she needs saving.” 

------

Chuuya’s sad pitiful eyes continued to stare at Asagao in pure silence as her head continued to lull down towards the ground just like how that bastard left her. 

He concluded that she must’ve been in some kind of shock, being forcibly kissed like that, it definitely hurt her immensely, so much so that he cursed Dazai’s name by the second. 

Yet that’s when he heard a pathetic little sniffle sound from her lips, causing Chuuya’s eyes to ring his alarm in order to force his groggy and sluggish head to turn even a millimeter closer to her direction. 

No, he couldn’t just sit here, he had to help her somehow. “H-Hey, it’s okay, don’t cry. You gotta keep your head up, yeah? You’re gonna get out of here I promise, then I’ll make that sorry bastard pay for touching you. I promise.” 

Even still, it didn’t stop her shaky breaths. In fact, his words just seemed to make everything worse, the girl crying a little bit louder than before, much to Chuuya’s panic. “S-Shit, no no it’s okay. I’m sorry, I’m not good at this, I’ve never had to console anyone before. Just tell me what to say, alright? Tell me whatever you need and I’ll do it. Anything, just stop cryin like that, please..” 

A second later he heard her speak, just barely above a whisper. “A-Anything?” 

Forcing his head to nod back immediately, Chuuya shouted. “Yes! I swear, you just gotta say it.” 

And he meant that with his entire heart. Anything to make her wipe that utterly hopeless aura that was around her. Anything to stop the corruption that was so clearly taking place. Hell, if she asked him to cut off his own arm he probably would’ve done it right then and there. 

Anything to bring that stupid goofy smile back onto her face. 

The air was silent then, Chuuya waiting with baited breath for her next words only to be caught off guard completely. “T-Then..can I call you Chu Chu..?” 

And to be honest, the arm decapitation example he just used seemed a lot more bearable than her actual request. She had to be kidding, right? Out of everything she could’ve possibly said, it had to be that. “H-Huh?” 

She must have sensed his displeasure though, the girl’s voice immediately shrinking back into herself as he watched her shake her head dismissively. “S-Sorry, it’s dumb. Forget it.” 

It was dumb, the stupidest thing in the entire world but although he recognized that, her sad and depressing response was enough to get him to speak without thinking. “N-No no it’s okay. You can, you can call me that.” 

But once it was said, it couldn’t be taken back, Chuuya watching Asa’s head perk up just slightly in hopeful resolve. “R-Really? You promise you won’t take it back?”

Ah hell, she really wanted this didn’t she? Was this seriously the only way she’d stop being so depressed and keep going? Because of that, Chuuya felt his throat sound in groaning defeat. 

What’s the worst that could happen, right? He wasn’t even sure if this girl was going to make it out of here alive tonight. If this is all he could do for her then so be it. 

Closing his eyes for a moment, the mafioso then opened them before replying begrudgingly. “Yeah yeah, I promise. You gotta stop crying though.”

Yet, the moment those words left his lips, Chuuya then watched as her sad and quiet sniffles seemed to evaporate into the air, almost like they never existed in the first place. “Okay!” 

Wait what? 

Feeling immediately whiplashed with confusion, the boy tried to process the reaction to no avail. Hold on, there was that feeling again, the one that gave him an unpleasant sense of deja vu. 

The one he always felt when talking to Dazai. “Huh?” 

Just then, the door slammed open again, shattering his suspicions and redirecting his attention to a group of about a dozen men as they surrounded both him and Asagao wordlessly. “H-Hey, what the hell are you doing?!” 

The men simply didn’t answer, their hands unhooking the long chains from both of their restraints before both of them were pulled up and roughly shoved towards the door. 

And soon enough the two found themselves in a large room, surrounded by other port mafia traitors as Chuuya furiously found the tied bandaged bastard in the very center, still being bound by a chair. 

There that stupid mackerel was, and if he didn’t die today then Chuuya promised that he’d be dead in another way for leaving his poor sacred girlfriend all alone tonight. 

A loud snap was overheard then, causing the men to immediately shove both the gravity manipulator and Dazai’s girlfriend on their knees before the soft click of a gun was pressed to their temples in silent wait. 

Feeling his breath sharply gasp at the sight, Chuuya immediately called out to the seemingly calm mafioso. “You better get her out of this or so help me, Dazai!” 

Dazai then pretended to think for a second before shaking his head once, enraging his partner even more. “Mmm no, I don’t think I will.” 

Gasping at the complete disregard for his own girlfriend’s safety, the boy felt like he was going to be sick with fury. After the utter hell Asagao had gone through tonight because of Dazai's own reckless actions, he still wasn’t going to save her? 

And though he should’ve expected the behavior, that didn’t make it any less awful. He thought that just maybe, there was a sliver of a chance that things were going to be different this time, that the demon would be able to see the utter helplessness in her eyes and finally give a shit for once. 

But here he was just like all the times before, destroying anything that didn’t bring him value, killing this girl with his own words right in front of her eyes. It was cruel, he was so cruel for this. 

So much so, Chuuya couldn’t take it anymore. “W-What?! You piece of shit, take that back! She’s your girlfriend and you put her in danger! Take responsibility for something in your damn life for once, will you?!” 

His yelling did nothing to shake him though, Dazai simply turning his head with absolute disinterest before the traitorous kid cut him off, sick of the melodrama that was happening around him. “That’s enough out of you. Now, Dazai. What do you say? Will you choose my offer or will you watch your precious little girlfriend die in front of your eyes? Which will it be?” 

Then as if to prove his threat, his captor snapped his fingers once more as the safety disappeared from the gun holding Asagao hostage before she seemingly shuttered. 

Poor girl, she couldn’t even look up at them to see Dazai’s betrayal. Oh how those words must’ve hurt her deeply to not even have the strength to lift her sorry head. 

Yet that’s when Dazai’s words turned into something different, something more condescending than before. “I choose the third option.” 

Feeling himself pause, the kid frowned. “Third option? But there is no third option..” 

His response only seemed to spark amusement though, coating Dazai’s entire face in order for him to narrow his eyes once more in a mocking reply. “Not that you know of, but it’s always been there. Isn’t that right, my loyal hound?” 

Chuuya only groaned in response though. Now was not the time for that stupid degrading nickname. He didn’t even know what the hell he was talking about. “Dazai, I told you to stop calling me that!” 

Dazai then closed his eyes, a calculating smile appearing on his lips before opening them with pure sick delight, almost like he had been waiting a long time to say his next words.

And when he did, everyone in the room could feel the power they held. “Oh Chuuya, this time I wasn’t talking about you.” 

Then the demon prodigy shifted his gaze from his idiot partner to the quiet and pensive girl beside him in order to speak his command loudly. “Sic ’em’.” 

Almost instantly, the air around the entire space dropped, shifting like a curse before hearing the seemingly docile and traumatized civilian’s lips start to sound in a sick twisted giggle, almost like she couldn’t hold in her excitement anymore. 

Then everyone watched as the beast from hell itself lifted her up head with a bloodthirsty and terrifying grin, shaking the very foundations of the room. “Finally! I’ve been waiting all day to play around with you. Let’s hope you make it worth my while.” 

Chuuya then blinked in utter shock before somehow finding that the situation had changed in an instant, watching as Asagao seemingly switched places with the man holding her at gunpoint. 

No, now she was on top of him, pressing her foot into his back, his stolen gun hovering above the back of his head as the man was cuffed and chained with the restraints that she had been in a millisecond before. 

Hold on, what was going on?! Had Chuuya just imagined that? He thought for sure that she was one being held captive. How did things change around so quickly? He didn’t even see her move at all. Did she move at all? 

And most importantly why was she holding that gun like a trained professional? 

She was just a civilian, right?

The men around her seemed to be unable to process the scene as well, their weapons immediately drawn in order for Asa’s excitement to spiral tenfold at the smell of a fight. “Well then, who’s first?”

Gritting his teeth, the leader of the group then pointed his finger out to the crazed woman before shouting roughly. “Get her!” 

Then all at once, every single thug raced towards her all at once, causing Asagao’s fingers to shake with that all too familiar adrenaline she loved to drown herself in. “Oh, I’m gonna enjoy this...” 

And Chuuya could feel the shift immediately, the lingering and lethal aura around her entire body as she practically shivered with growing anticipation for the oncoming threat. 

Almost like she was daring them to live up the challenge of pleasing her insatiable appetite.

Yet before they could reach her, the girl seemingly disappeared from beside the ginger haired boy, the thugs gasping in order to feel a hand on their shoulder, tapping them condescending from behind. “Looking for someone?” 

The armed man then turned around only for their gun to point at the intruder before finding absolutely no one there. Hold on, they could’ve sworn they heard a voice. 

Blinking once again, Chuuya then found a flash of turquoise, the fluffy princess skirt swaying in silent wait as she stood in front of him with her back turned and arms outstretched. “Come on, give me a real fight! Show me what you got!” 

She was taunting them, mocking them to attack her to which they complied, the men quickly turning back around in order to give her what she asked for, much to her very obvious excitement. 

Yet the moment one of them swung their arms across, Asagao was gone, appearing by his side in order to dodge his measly hit like it meant absolutely nothing to her.

And try as they may, none of the lowly thugs could even touch her, the girl moving too fast in and out of reality for them to even comprehend where she was before hitting thin air instead. 

It was like she was doing it on purpose also, purposely slipping just out of reach in order to toy with the newest pieces she had acquired for her sick little game. 

Yet with each miss the men seemed to grow more and more furious, their senses heightened before finally landing a powerful and painful blow to her stomach. Finally, now she would be sorry and pay for her games. 

Although that’s when they heard Asagao simply laugh, holding the pained area with even more unriddled adrenaline and sick delight. “Now that’s what I’m talking about! Ah, you’re making me wanna show off now!” 

Chuuya then watched in stunned horror as the men around him suddenly started screaming as bleeding bullet wounds appeared like some sort of sick curse, shooting through their arms, legs and other non fatal patches of skin in order for them to crumble with breathless panic. 

What the hell was going on? What kind of ability was this? Was this seriously Asagao? No, it couldn’t be. He couldn’t believe it. This was like an invisible bloodbath, the bullets in the girl's gun causing mass casualty in a mere second.  

Then his thoughts were brought back in order to see the man next to him seemingly clutch onto his chest in agony as the arm holding the gun to the ginger's head snapped unnaturally in the wrong direction, causing him to drop the weapon in an instant. 

Not knowing what to say, Chuuya then wordlessly stared as Asagao appeared beside him, her face unseen and body moving behind him as the boy couldn’t help but question absolutely everything. 

A million thoughts ran through his mind but only one seemed to break through the silence, causing his lips to waver with uncertainty. “H-How?” 

He needed to know, more than anything else. How did she do this? How had she managed to take down so many enemies in the span of seconds. It had to be an ability of some kind. But what was it?  

Yet that’s when he felt her fingers brush against the restraints behind his back, touching the skin silently before Chuuya gasped at the world around him. 

Suddenly, everything was still, like someone had just hit pause on the entire fight. 

The thugs that had been running towards them seemed petrified in place, their arms outstretched like statues or strange stagnant art pieces. Hold on, was this her ability? Was this how she was able to move so quickly and hurt all those people with ease? 

Feeling her fingers fiddle with the cuffs behind him, Chuuya then sharply drew in a breath before the metal restraints fell towards the ground and the world to reanimate with just as much noise and shouting as it had been a few seconds before. 

Suddenly things started to make more sense. Her ability stopped time, didn’t it? He had gotten it wrong, she wasn’t moving too fast for him to comprehend, she was simply taking advantage of the suspended moments in order to seem invisible. 

The very thought made Chuuya shiver unexpectedly. What a scary power that was, being able to manipulate the world around her while everyone else stood clueless. And was this just showing off? The thought was absolutely terrifying to think about, how she could bring down such a large group of men without a single touch. 

Just who in the hell was this woman?

Dazai on the other hand just stared wordlessly at the carnage, the screams and shouts of pain deaf inside his ears as he watched Odasaku’s sister take down one measly thug after another. 

He knew she was powerful but this was the first time he had seen the extent of her ability up close. When they spared together she was fast sure, but she was never this fast, the girl always opting to hold back in order not to seriously injure him on accident.

But right now there were no boundaries, her opponents didn’t have the same mercy that he was given, and now he was seeing her for the very first time, in all her hellhound glory. 

The meticulous shots, the absolute carnage she could conjure from seemingly nothing, it was all on display right before his very eyes. 

And he loved every minute of it. 

Sure, to most the scene would’ve been alarming, sending even the most daring people away immediately. But not Dazai. To him the blood and the gruesome sight only enhanced a part of her that he found absolutely enthralling. 

Blinking once in pride, Dazai then paused in order find Asagao standing in front of him, someone else’s blood on her turquoise princess dress, a stolen loaded gun hanging by her side and an unruly mane of red fiery auburn falling around her face as she stared at him with that very familiar dead hollow gaze that captured him time and time again. 

The sight caused a breath to lodge in his throat without permission. 

God, she was so different than anything he had ever seen before, commanding his attention and drawing him in without a single word. 

Sure, she had always been pretty. He wasn’t blind. For someone as experienced as he was with intimacy even Dazai could decipher when someone was pleasing to the eye. 

It was never about that though. His relationships were merely an indifference of appearance, an uneven scale to what they could offer him. Beauty was a shallow thing, doing nothing for the boy rather than one night of indulgence before he quickly got bored. 

He just never cared about appearance in the kind of way that other normal boys did. It simply wasn’t a factor in the equation for him. 

Personal gain was what mattered most which meant that the boy had no desire in things that wouldn’t end with that result. 

He never sought after giving gifts or special treatment with frivolous promises that he knew he couldn’t ever keep.

Which was why it was so strange that he had changed his self made rule the day he walked by that hauntingly alluring teal and turquoise dress hanging in the window by the port mafia base. 

It was almost like he couldn’t help it, his eyes immediately drawn to the fabric and losing himself in the color that he knew so well. 

And he tried to ignore it, by god did he try, but it seemed that whenever he tried to leave he always seemed to find himself back at that store window. 

Not only that, wandering thoughts haunted him wherever he went, imagining how the brightly colored hue would look against her skin and fitted around her curves over and over like on repeat.

Then before he could even comprehend what he was doing, the item was in between his fingers inside a frilly pink bag, clashing against his broody and black style almost immediately. 

She didn’t seem to mind his moment of weakness though. On the contrary, Asagao was overjoyed by the dress, spinning around with it against her chest in a happy little circle when she received it. 

But when she asked him why he had done such a thing, even he couldn’t give himself an answer. 

Those thoughts kept him occupied most of the day, his eyes staring at her with silent conjecture while sitting in that cafe. 

At the time, he just didn’t understand what coaxed him into doing such a thing, into breaking the very clearly placed rules that he had set for himself. 

Yes she looked good when she first tried it on, fitting the idealistic clean and expected air of normality. Not a hair was out of place, each wrinkle carefully pressed and tuned to orderly demure. 

But staring at her right now, Dazai realized that it was so much more than that. 

Because what he was looking at now couldn’t be described, not in anything that Dazai could perceive in his own fucked up mind but there were words, fractured syllables and sentences that still broke through the silence.

A rarity, a one of a kind wonder, a gem of absolute unique brilliance. It wasn’t something that just anyone could understand the value of. 

Suddenly, everything started to make sense, his lips falling open with careful realization.

That put together version of her was nice but this was the version that made everything inside him flatter and malfunction. 

Everything about her now was wild, unkempt and messy, insanity mixing with sensibility, and Dazai couldn’t get enough of it. 

She was absolutely radiant, the blood on her dress and the cold lifeless look in her eyes causing him to sharply breathe in a light headed air. 

Those foolish idiots that overlooked her all those years just didn’t get it. They took one look at her and claimed her as unfinished. They only saw and labeled her as unworthy, as a faulty result.. 

But in this moment, Dazai only saw perfection. 

And he was damn glad that he had broken those rules and bought her that dress. 

So much so, his dazed expression couldn’t help but soften at the sight, his lips speaking out without permission. “Stunning..”

Almost instantly though, the boy seemed to catch himself, screwing his lips shut with embarrassment before feeling slightly more self continuous then before. What was that, why did that slip out so suddenly?

He didn’t mean for that to happen.

Yet that’s when Asagao simply smiled, her lips mimicking his gentle expression before reaching her hand out of him. “There you are, Osamu. I missed you.”

Feeling his heart tumble inside his chest at her words, Dazai then watched her use her ability to disappear before he felt the chains around his arms and chest start to loosen all at once. “Now sit still, I’m here to save the princess.”

A second later, he felt movement return to his muscles before he rubbed the marks on his wrists silently. Sure, he could’ve gotten out of this way sooner but having Asagao help him was so much better than him doing it himself. 

So, instead he acted dumb and let her be his knight in shining armor. 

Then once he was standing Asa gave him a sideways glance in order to hear about a dozen more men enter the large empty space before sliding the stolen pistol she had acquired into his palm. “Here. Now let’s have some fun. What do you say?”

And both Asagao and Dazai knew the lure of such a thing was far too appealing to be ignored, the demon prodigy simply smiling with acknowledgment in order to take the weapon gladly. 

Before finally turning back to her with a look filled with lingering adrenaline and absolute adoration. 

“You know I could never resist such a tempting offer. Especially from you, love.”

-------

Forcing his tired and woozy legs to function onto his knees, Chuuya huffed out a struggling breath from the other side of the room in order to join the fight now that he had his ability back. 

Before snapping his head back up at the sound of gunfire once more. 

But this time what he found wasn’t just Asagao but rather Dazai as well, working in tandem just like he had witnessed back at the karaoke bar earlier today, their steps concise and hypervigilant as they raised their fists and weapons towards the group of traitors. 

And though he hated even thinking about it, Chuuya couldn’t help but be awed at the sight just like he was during their silly little performances. There was just something about it, the way they both narrowly avoided their hits by a mere millisecond, predicting and adapting in real time before his very eyes. 

Hell, even Chuuya knew he was never this in tune with his own partner. It was almost as if the two rehearsed this shit or something considering it was so flawless. 

Grumbling at the implication, the ginger then activated his ability in order for the rest of the men around them to seemingly collapse under the suffocating weight of their own gravity, rendering the threat gone before those two freaks could finish picking them off. 

Dazai then perked his head up before whistling back loudly to the fuming dog. “Finally you do something useful. I was starting to think you were just gonna make us do all the work.” 

Rolling his eyes, the boy grumbled back. Did he not just see that he had been drugged, chained and beaten up until now? “Shut up, you damn mackerel. This was all your fault in the first place.”

The executive then opened his mouth to speak again only for the so-called “leader” of the traitors to do so for him, his eyes howling at the absolute desecration and bloody carnage around him before speaking distantly. “I don’t understand. What happened?”

His men, his following, they were all gone except for him. And it was all because of that woman, the one that he had foolishly painted as an innocent civilian. 

Dazai then lifted his hand up casually, stepping around one of the unconscious bodies with ease. “I can answer that question. You see, I knew from the extent of our scheduled meeting that you had plans for an uprising against the port mafia, so I decided to have a little fun with it.” 

The words were lost in his ears though. “A little fun..?” 

Nodding once, the demon then extended his hand out to the blood covered female beside him before smiling maliciously. “But I knew that you’d never be dumb enough to target me directly. Enemies find weakness after all, and nothing is more weak than that of a defenseless lover, right?” 

Asagao then smirked before putting her wrists together to mimic the chains that were once around her. “Tell me, was I a good enough target for you to kidnap?” 

And although the traitor was certainly taken back by their words, Chuuya was the one that felt his mouth drop open with a brain numbing malfunction. No, it couldn’t be. 

He had criticized Dazai all day for putting his girlfriend in danger, for flaunting her in public and in the eyes of enemies without a care in the world. But all of that dismissal, it was on purpose, it was to make her the target all along. 

Everything began to make sense now. Their place in front of that large bay window overlooked the crowded streets, the way Dazai clung to her like a desperate lover and showed extreme pda for everyone to see. 

It was because he knew that these guys were watching, and the two of them were just giving them the show they wanted to see. 

What shady little freaks. They knew that they would end up here all along, didn’t they? All this time, the two of them had planned all of this to take down the port mafia traitors without them knowing. 

 That bastard's reaction, the one that Chuuya had been fuming over, it wasn’t based on disinterest. It was based on calculation. 

That’s why he didn’t jump at the chance to save her. Chuuya thought he was just being cruel but perhaps that wasn’t the case at all. Perhaps he had counted on her from the very start. 

 Could it really all have been an act all this time? The cruelty, the discard, was it all lies or just an over exaggerated version of the truth? 

The ginger didn’t know the answer but what he did know was that by trusting Asagao to go this far, Dazai was already far out of his usual character.  Suggesting that perhaps the affection for this girl ran deeper than even Dazai seemed to realize. 

The kid then stuttered back, unable to grasp onto the slipping power that he once had by the second before countering.  “I-I doesn’t matter. No one will believe that I turned into a traitor. My men are loyal to me. Even if you kill me you have no proof of what happened here today.” 

Yeah, that’s right. His friends had been sworn to secrecy. Even torture wouldn’t reveal his true intentions to cause harm to the port mafia. 

Yet that's when Asagao simply turned her head in question. “Oh, you mean proof like this?” 

Lifting her hand up, the girl then ran a couple fingers across the wild auburn strands before pulling out a small tiny bobby pin in order to push the button of the side as a very familiar voice filled the air. 

His voice. 

“You see, once I get you and Dazai to spill Mori’s dirty little secrets and follow me instead, I’ll have more than just my freedom, I’ll have the world and not even Mori will be able to stand in our way.” 

And just like that, his entire regime crumbled before his very eyes, the hands by his side turning so white from rage that he couldn’t slow it. This bitch, she was recording him this whole time, coaxing him into revealing his plan. 

It was over, everything was over. It didn’t matter if he got away today, he was a dead man either way. “Y-You..what..” 

Asagao then turned her head to the side, her lips protruding in a mocking fashion before reveling in his downfall. “Aww poor baby, still too complex? Let me dumb it down for you some more. You’ve been played, doll.” 

Those words, they were the same ones he had taunted her with and yet now they slapped right back into his face, making his entire body redden with embarrassment. How dare she treat him like an idiot and condescend him like that. 

He was supposed to be the one with the power. Not her. 

Dazai then laughed cynically at the dumbfounded face of his enemy before wrapping his bandaged arms around Asa’s waist in order to speak plainly. “All of you are so stupid, undermining her like nothing when my girl is way more capable than any of you will ever be.” 

The way he spoke those words, they were so prideful and laced with admiration, two things that no one in the room thought a demon was capable of except the girl beside him. 

And the second he said it, Asagao felt her eyes widen a fraction of an inch before a flustered blush crept into her cheeks without permission

His girl. 

He just called her his girl . 

 Osamu had never done that before. 

Yet that seems to be the last straw for the faltering villain, Dazai’s words causing the kid to scream with fury, his hand reaching outwards as red lethal strings started to seep from his fingertips in order to face the unbothered girl across from him. 

How dare Dazai’s girlfriend make him look like a fool. She was going to regret that more than anything. “Y-You deceiving bitch! You ruined everything! I’m gonna kill you!” 

Chuuya’s eyes immediately widened anxiety, the red glow of his ability threatening to seep out before he watched Dazai simply step in front of her the girl, shielding her from the hit as the bandaged boy’s ability nullified the attack the second it threatened to touch him.

 Faltering a single step back, the kid then physically flitch as Asagao’s smile dropped at the attempt on Osamu before his blood run cold.  The traitor then felt his ribs crying in pain as both his legs snapped without warning, bringing him down to his knees before crumbling towards the cement floor with a scream filled with so much agony and ear shattering torture. “F-Fuck, you broke my legs?!”

Snapping his head up in fury, the kid then froze as Asagao’s hollow and lifeless stare met his shaky one, her finger cocking the pistol in her hands in silent wait. 

  She then turned her gun slightly before speaking. “I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, I can do much worse. Wanna see?” 

Placing her finger immediately over the trigger, the traitor gasped in horror as she took the shot, his eyes squeezing shut with a pathetic little scream. 

This was it, it was over. No, he didn’t wanna die! Please no, anything but that. He was still a kid! 

Yet that’s when he heard the bullets from the chamber clatter onto the floor with a careful cling, like she had emptied them before pulling the trigger. But how?

 It must have been her ability that changed his fate at the last second. That was the only explanation. 

Narrowing her cold eyes, Asa then lowered her hand down, disarming herself with a hiss. “But, I refuse to go back to that, especially for someone as insignificant and ugly as you.” 

She spoke them like a mantra, like they weighed more than her life itself, so much so the kid felt his lips quiver out a breath of relief. 

The calm was short lived though, the kid watching as Asa’s nose then scrunched with disgust as her hand began to shake on the gun by her side. 

 It was almost as if she was holding herself back from breaking that promise, the emptiness in her eyes revealing only murder and destruction. 

 And Asagao, she could feel it. The adrenaline, the training she had been given as a child sounded in her head, begging her to finish the job as she has been conditioned to do. 

But even so, she withheld, the girl allowing a crazed chuckle to seep from her lips instead to release some of her insanity. “And you’re damn lucky I’m not an assassin anymore otherwise every single shot I just delivered would’ve been fatal. Let that sink in, will you? How easily I could’ve ended every single one of your lives with a snap of my fingers.” 

At the sound of her words, Chuuya’s gaze then shifted towards the multitude of unconscious and bleeding bodies around them, the warehouse looking more like a graveyard more than a building now. 

Was she serious? Every single shot, every place she hit was deliberate? That was absolutely crazy. 

Then again, it made sense. No one could blindly shoot and miss someone’s vitals every single time like that. Even a shitty wielder would’ve gotten lucky at least once. 

How absolutely terrifying, to know that this girl could’ve killed everyone in the room if she really wanted to. Hell, the fact that she held back honestly felt scarier than just getting the job done. 

Because now there was the lingering dread hanging in the air, signifying that they were one breath away from an absolute bloodbath. 

Sucking in a heavy breath, Asa then purposely stepped on his broken leg, causing her captor to cry out before smiling sweetly. “Now that you understand, I’m gonna explain it to you in simple terms, Kay? Don’t mess with my boyfriend again, or else you’re really gonna piss me off, and trust me. You don’t wanna do that.”

Almost immediately the kid nodded back, the pain of the pressure on his shattered bone creating black spots in his eyes.

Oh god, Dazai was right. He was the least scary thing in the room right now. That demon was nothing in comparison to the psychotic unpredictability of Asagao. 

That reaction seemed to be enough for her though, finally allowing the pressure to disperse before putting the pistol by her side. “Great, glad we could come to an understanding.”

Closing her eyes, Asa then turned around with a lazy shrug of her shoulders, speaking mostly to herself. “But don’t think you’re completely off the hook yet. I mean, I still have no idea what to do with you but you gotta pay for some things.”

She then paused for a moment before touching her bottom lip with a small pout of disappointment. “That was my first kiss too..”

Suddenly, all the air seemed to get pushed out of her lungs as Asagao felt a rough hand grab onto her forearm, pulling her backward and into a very familiar patch of black fabric. 

Widening her eyes, Dazai’s arms then pressed her face against his chest before swiping the gun by her side in order to immediately shoot the traitor without a second thought. 

Killing him instantly. 

And not only that, he kept on shooting, each bang erupting more final than the last as each bullet pierced the corpse of the boy over and over again. 

 It was only when the soft click resounded that his finger lifted from the trigger in order for Asa to finally pry herself away from his hold in order to look at the dead body silently. 

Shifting her gaze upward, Asa then paused, noticing the absolute murder in her boyfriend’s eyes, the iris’ still trained to the body like he was in some sort of dark loop. 

She had never seen that kind of look from him before in the year she had known him. Was this the true form of the infamous demon prodigy she had heard so much about? 

There was something else there as well. An anger, a wrath she couldn’t quite reach. So dead and yet so emotional at the same time, drowning silently in a torment unknown to her. 

This was the first time he’d killed in front of her and thought she wasn’t traumatized in any way, the girl was certainly surprised. 

Huh, that guy must’ve said something he really hated. 

Humming to herself in silent thought, Asa then crouched down beside the body before poking his chest with her finger absentmindedly. “Well, that solves that problem I guess.”

And now that the enemy was eradicated, Chuuya’s mind seemed to have more time to process whatever the hell just happened

Sure, seeing Dazai kill that guy was disturbing but it wasn’t anything new. Besides, that wasn’t what he focused on the most. That bastard had it coming anyways. 

But what did bother him was the absolute personality shift he had just seen from the seemingly sweet and innocent Asagao. 

No, there was something odd about all this, and it was more than just her ability or her animistic fighting style. 

Determined to get his answer, Chuuya then stomped up to the occupied girl, the back of her auburn hair appearing across his vision. “You two better tell me what the hell is going on right now! You’re telling me all of that shit was an act?!”

 Slowly standing up from the sound of his voice, Asagao only chuckled at his desperation, finding it absolutely hysterical.  “Come on, Chu Chu. It was all in good fun.”

Fun? Yeah right, she called getting drugged, chained and beaten fun? Maybe for a psychopath or something but certainly not for him. 

 Just then, his throat began to groan at the sound of that god awful nickname again. “Don’t call me that.” 

 Putting her hands on her hips, Asa only hummed. “But you said I could.”

And yes, that was true but he only said that in a desperate attempt to raise her spirits. Why in the hell would he ever let her continue that, especially after Dazai came up with such an annoying plan and dragged him into it. 

Grumbling all at once, the ginger frowned’ “Yeah well, I take it back.”

Although that’s when he heard her chuckle even more, the sound resounded through the space before finally turning around to face him.  “Oh silly Chu Chu, did you forget already?”

Yet nothing could’ve prepared him for what he found when she finally locked eyes with him fully for the very first time, a sick twisted grin present of her lips as she finished mockingly. 

Almost as if to say “ I won” in silent victory.  “You promised me that you wouldn’t, remember?”

Feeling all the blood drain from his face, Chuuya took in the words slowly before shivering at the cold dead look in her eyes. 

It was a look that was so sickeningly familiar, one he had only ever seen on only one other person in his entire life. 

A person he hated more than anyone else in the entire world. 

And now it was staring back at him, stunning him to complete silence. Hold on, wait. 

That didn’t mean..

Then all at once, the realization crashed into him without warning. The reason why Dazai kept her around, the reason why he was always filled with an unpleasant deja vu every time he was around her..

Shaking his dead in denial, Chuuya shoved the thought away, wanting anything then to believe that it’s true. No, anything but that. “Oh fuck no..”

Taking a shaky step backwards Asa then turned her head in confusion only for the ginger to point a shaky finger from Dazai to her and finally connect the dots.

No, it couldn’t be. Please let it be a lie. “There’s two of you..you’re like him..”

And the cocky grin from Asa gave him all the confirmation he needed to know. 

His worst nightmare had come true.

She wasn't a civilian, she was just as bad as Dazai. 

------

Chapter 18:

To say that Chuuya was unprepared for this night was a massive understatement. In fact, it was the biggest understatement of his entire life. 

Because staring him directly in the face was the sickest joke in the entire universe, one that the ginger didn’t think would have been possible until now. 

If there was one thing that was absolutely certain to him, it was that he hated Dazai. More than anything else on the planet, more than his entire body even allowed, he despised every single thing that even had the hint of him blended in. 

Everything associated made his skin crawl on command, like a fight or flight response he couldn’t control no matter how hard he tried.  

It was all that bastard’s fault for making him that way though. Poor boy had been mentally tortured, been stuck on the wrong side of his sick games and had been dragged through the rigger so many times that he had been conditioned to feel his skin crawl at the mere mention of the bandaged demon. 

But as much as Chuuya loathed him, there was a single solitary idea that made him feel the tiniest better. Sure, it wasn’t much but it still gave him some kind of delusional hope sometimes. 

And that was the fact that there was only one of him. 

Yes, the guy was messed up in the head but he was also unique, so much so that Chuuya found solace in the idea that there could be no else in the world that could match how evil and despicable he was.  

He had found hints, pieces of the demon, sure, but never a full copy of the devil and Chuuya truly believed that such a thing couldn’t have been possible. 

No one could match him in that kind of way, enough to bring the same kind of furious rage and disgust that always seemed to harbor inside of him whenever Dazai was mentioned. 

Yet all of that wishful thinking had been shattered tonight, the ginger staring fearfully at the bouncing and giddy auburn haired devil before him, staring directly into his soul as a familiar case of deja vu slammed into him without permission. 

Only then did he realize that he had been wrong this entire time. 

Almost instantly, he felt his throat forcibly close up without permission in order for his hands to turn numb as blinding white rage to course into him, taking over each one of his senses like a plague.

No, it couldn’t be. Her eyes, he had seen them a million times before, staring him right in the face, laughing at him, making fun of him, taunting him over and over again. Just like that bastard , just like the man he hated more than anything else..

This girl, this whole time she had given him that same feeling, the one that he thought was impossible to copy, the one that he wholeheartedly believed couldn’t be duplicated in any captivity. 

She was just like Dazai. 

It was so hard to believe, so hard to comprehend from the seemingly innocent civilian he had met only twice and if someone told him that before tonight he would’ve laughed at them. 

But all of this, every single thing that happened today was a set up, a fucking joke that he got dragged into without his consent. He had been played, manipulated without even knowing it by these two sick fucks. 

And that last sentence of hers, the cocky ass tone of her voice had sealed the deal like a slap in the face. 

She had pretended to be in distress just so he would agree to her stupid fucking nickname, even made him promise to keep it forever cause she knew he’d wanna take it back when he found out. 

What a manipulative little brat, and from the creepy way she was eying him, it was obvious that she knew that as well, a victorious shit eating grin still plastered on her lips as it felt like she was mocking him wordlessly. 

Okay, but seriously, what the fuck was up with her eyes? No sane person looked like that. They were so cold and empty, almost like they lacked a soul or any signs of life. 

They kinda freaked him out, and that was saying a lot because Chuuya had seen millions of fucked up things in his life. 

But the way she looked at him, it made his skin crawl in a new and unexplainable way. 

God damn it, she was a psychopath just like that bandaged wearing freak and he didn’t even see it.  “There’s two of you..you’re like him..”

Watching her take a step closer to him, Chuuya instinctively took one back, still unsure how to process the new information as Asa clapped her hands excitedly. “I know! Isn’t it great?” 

Then he watched Asa simply turn around before lifting her hands straight up in order to press them against Dazai’s palms with a happy squeak. “Ah! That was so much fun, Samu! Thanks for setting all this up. I’m all energized now!’ 

The bandaged boy then shifted his fingers around in order to clasp them around her hands and pull her closer with a mimicking smile of his own. “Anything for you, my darling. It was certainly a treat for me also, getting to see that big scary hellhound side of yours. Now if only those fingers of yours would wrap around my throat next. Then I'd truly be able to die happy!” 

Asa only laughed though, pulling one of her hands away in order to ruffle his messy brown locks with a shake of her head. “Oh Samu, you’re so silly. You know if I did that then it would be a very painful way to go.” 

Dazai shook his head in response, using his free hand to reach around to the back of her waist in order to pull her even closer with a hum of satisfaction. “Nothing could be painful when I have a beautiful woman like you next to me, love.”

Asa didn’t react though, the girl clearly comfortable in his possessive hold before tilting her head slightly to the side. “Oh by the way, I’ve been meaning to ask. Chuuya said that you were cheating on me at karaoke. What did you two talk about?” 

Waving the idea away, Dazai groaned at the memory. “Oh, it was nothing. I just asked her to commit double suicide with me.” 

His words only caused her to nod though, answering casually. “Ah, and how did it go?” 

Flopping his head dramatically on her shoulder, Dazai cried pathetically into the open space. “She turned me down. Alas! Another dead end, I had a good feeling about her too. Whatever will I do now, Asa-chan?” 

Asagao’s expression then softened before placing a hand on his fluffy hair in order to tousle it with reassurance. “It’s okay, Samu. You just gotta stay positive and keep trying. You never know, the next person you ask might say yes.” 

Pouting his lips, Osamu whined back. “But staying positive is hard..” 

The auburn haired girl then smiled to herself before shifting her hand to the back of his head in order to cradle in against her shoulder with a gentle hum. “Then I’ll just have to do it for you.” 

And sure, the bastard’s pickup lines were disgusting but his words seemed to unlock something within Chuuya, his numb and weightless fingers squeezing together until his knuckles turned white with a frantic shout. “Great? How could you say that it’s great? This is my worst fucking nightmare!”

Why in the hell was she so calm about this, couldn’t she read the room? She had knowingly screwed him over and she was still just smiling there with an idiot with those dead ass eyes.

In fact, it was strange. She sounded happy and her lips clearly reflected the same but her eyes still didn’t change, almost like they were unable to. But did that mean that her emotions were fake all this time, just like her acting tonight? 

Hell, he really didn’t know anything about this girl, did he? 

Was all this innocent and kind shit just an act also? Because from the way nothing reached her soulless eyes it currently seemed like it. 

And listening to her and Dazai’s sick conversation, it just made his realization even more real. The way they just talked dying and suicide like it was nothing. The way she casually brushed off the mackerel’s cheating habits and didn’t even flinch. 

What the hell was wrong with these two freaks?! 

The girl then dropped her hands, the smile falling from her lips in order for it to turn to Chuuya with confusion before she spoke calmly. “Sorry Chuuya but I don’t understand your reaction. You said that I could call you Ch Chu once I get your permission, right? I did ask you and you said yes. What’s so wrong with that?”

Didn’t understand his reaction? Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Now he knew that she was screwing with him. How could anyone not understand the shit she put him through tonight? 

Even Dazai was always self aware of the torture he implemented so he knew she was the same. “Are you serious!? What’s wrong is that I thought you were in distress and you took advantage of the situation like a shitty ass person!”

He didn’t even know why he was explaining this, it was obvious. Of course he’d be pissed over Asa purposely manipulating him while he was in a vulnerable state to get what she wanted. 

Yet he was taken back when Asagao’s brow twisted down in silent thought, almost like she hadn’t made that connection in her brain before turning back to Chuuya with a frown. “I did? But how else was I supposed to do it?”

Feeling himself pause, Chuuya’s eye began to twitch in response. This couldn’t be real, right? She was still messing with him, she had to be. 

Why in the hell was she speaking so innocently and asking such stupid questions when she was the one that came up with the plan to trick him? It was common sense to not turn to manipulation like she had. Did she really not understand that? 

Not believing a word out of her mouth, Chuuya scoffed. “Literally any other way! Is your brain broken or something? Normal people don’t turn to manipulation when they want something!” 

He then watched her soak in his response before putting a finger to her lips in silent thought, almost like his words were genuinely mind breaking ones that she hadn't had before this moment. 

And it looked so real, the way she contemplated the words with clear curiosity, so much so that even Chuuya questioned her act. 

If she was still faking then she was pretty damn good at it because right now it actually looked like she was struggling to understand what he was saying. 

After a moment, Asagao finally dropped her finger before nodding mostly to herself, almost like she was taking an invisible note. “Hmm I see. I guess I did it wrong then.”

Chuuya’s mouth then dropped open with disbelief. She was just figuring that out? No, this had to be an act, no one was that dumb. “You think?! That should be obvious. You seriously can’t be that dense, right?” 

Looking up to meet him again, Asagao, then reached a hand to the back of her neck before giving an awkward uncomfortable chuckle under her breath. “Ahh well..” 

Yet before she could finish, a pair of bandaged arms slung around her shoulder, causing her to stumble back in order for Dazai to rest his head on her shoulder casually.  “Now Chibi, don’t be rude. You’re her birthday present after all. Try to be a little less stupid, will you?”

And though the insult was not lost on him, the first part of his sentence stuck out more than the second, another warning bell flashing inside his mind.  “Excuse me? What the hell does that mean?”

Asagao then brightened up immediately, bouncing on her heels as she spoke. “Oh yeah! Samu set all this up so we could meet again. He knew how much I wanted to see you, so for my birthday..” 

Nodding once, Dazai finished plainly.“...I lent my dog out for a playdate.” 

Almost immediately, Chuuya grumbled at the stupid degrading name, his anger growing by the second. 

Asa didn’t see anything wrong with his statement though, her dead eyes staring straight through Chuuya’s soul with sick delight. “Yeah! And it was the best present ever! I figured out your relationship with Osamu the first time we met and ever since then I’ve been just itching to see his dog in action! And boy, did you not disappoint!”  

All at once, Asa’s fingers then slid up to his bandaged arms before gripping the gauzed wrist silently in order to give in a tiny squeeze. “Honestly, this whole day has been amazing. Getting to fight and screw over those traitors all in one night? Ah, you really know how to treat a girl, Osamu. I’ll tell you that.” 

Dazai simply responded by pushing the arms around her even tighter, his head still frozen on her shoulder before his lips dropped down into a darker expression, nuzzling himself further into her neck to hide the sight. 

Not everything had gone to plan after all. 

There was a miscalculation on Dazai’s part, one that he still wanted to skin someone alive for at this very moment. But the last thing he desired was to ruin her night with his lethal and twisted thoughts. Especially when she looked so happy right now. 

So instead, Dazai kept them to himself, his cold gaze shifting over to the mutilated body just a couple feet away from them as he counted the bullet holes in the traitor's skin. Not enough. He deserved a million more. 

Yet the pair were finally brought back from their two different realities when Chuuya lifted up a hand in their direction, his voice loud and angry for what they were implying. “Hold on a damn minute, I am not some kind of thing you can just lend out whenever the fuck you feel like it!” 

Dazai was thankful for his outburst though, giving him something else to focus on besides the deadly ideas in the back of his mind. Making fun of the slug always seemed to bring him back to earth, given that it was his favorite pastime. 

And right now was no expectation, the boy purposely saying the words that would infuriate him the most. “Oh but you are, I just don’t understand why anyone would want you. But my darling was adamant on seeing your short, stupid, ugly face again so who was I to argue?” 

Almost immediately, the dog did as intended, Chuuya’s face turning red with fury, as he took a challenging step closer to the couple with intent. Oh yeah, he was definitely snapping. Took a lot longer this time, perhaps that’s because he still didn’t know what to make of Asa yet. Stupid slug. 

Chuuya on the other head was livid, his entire body shaking with rage as that same disgusting feeling of hatred coursed through him like a curse. Just what the fuck was this guys problem, calling him ugly and short?! He’d make him eat those words, just you wait!

Yet that’s when Asagao simply stepped away from Dazai, her brow turning down in a disapproving frown for a way things were playing out.  “Aww come on, Samu. That’s not very nice..”

It sounded like she was scolding him and for a second Chuuya thought he saw her humanity. He had painted her as a copy of Dazai but perhaps that wasn’t the case. Maybe she had some good in her after all. 

Yet that’s when Asa simply pointed to the ginger before finishing plainly. “It’s not Chu Chu’s fault that he’s short.” 

And just like that, any good natured thing he had thought for her flew out the window. 

Short, she called him short. That’s it, that’s fucking it. 

God damn it, she was making fun of him also, wasn’t she? Calling him short, indirectly not pointing out the stupid or ugly comment on purpose so that it was implied as truth, what a shady horrible girl picking out his insecurities like that.  

Both of them were insufferable, the two feeding off one another’s energies and throwing it back in his face. Chuuya was sick of it. He didn’t want to hear it anymore. One Dazai was bad enough, but two? No, that’s where he drew the line. 

Shaking his head in order to quell his anger, Chuuya scoffed. “Unbelievable..” 

Then the boy turned around before leaving the scene as fast as possible. He may be stuck with that bastard but that didn’t mean he had to stick around just to be tortured by another sick twisted demon. 

Yet just before he reached his escape, he felt a hand tug on his sleeve, stopping him immediately. “Hey, wait a second..”

Grumbling immediately, Chuuya shook off the touch like poison, sharply turning around to find that Asagao had followed him to the exit. Oh you’ve got to be kidding me, hadn’t she done enough? Why couldn’t he get rid of her?  

Not saying anything for the fear of exploding, the boy then watched as her soulless stare cut through heart with a cold chill in order for her to smile in his direction. “I was just wondering if you’d wanna be friends with me?” 

Excuse me? 

No, he must’ve heard that wrong because there was so way this girl had just asked that. The very same girl that had manipulated him and made him look like an idiot was now asking to be his friend? Yeah right, what a joke. 

Feeling his eyes twitch once more, Chuuya gave an empty laugh. “Are you kidding me?” 

Asa only frowned though, that same confused and perplexing look on her face in order to tilt her head slightly. “No..I don’t think so..?” 

Her response only caused the ginger to laugh even harder though, his fingers running through his hair with an air of disbelief for what he was hearing. “You’re seriously asking me that after all of this...”

It was ridiculous, what she was asking from him was outrageous. Even Dazai never went this far in his mocking. Why couldn’t she see that? Or was she still playing some kind of trick on him even now? She wanted to watch him squirm, didn’t she? 

He then watched her fingers move towards the ends of her bloodied skirt with a nervous laugh to cover his bitter one. “Listen, Chuuya, I..uhh how do I put this.. I’m not great with things like this so you’re gonna have to be a bit more clear with what you’re saying.” 

The idea caused that fragile string of control to finally snap in the back of his head as the familiar hot blinding white covered his vision before turning back to the girl with a hiss. “You want me to be clear? Fine.”

Feeling the weight of his steps, Chuuya then stomped straight up to the haunting soulless eyes that had been hunting him all night before shouting back with so much unruly hate that it made his lips spit out the fiery words all at once. 

Every single feeling over the last year, every grievance towards people like Dazai shot out like a gunshot, the target misdirecting towards the girl the moment she showed the same disgusting traits he always hated. 

He was sick of being tortured, of being a dog, of being a puppet for someone else’s pleasure. The two of them had treated him like an idiot and he was sick of it, wanting nothing more than to scream his rejection for everything they stood for. 

And scream he did, his chest heaving with a bomb of absolute fury. “Why would I ever want to be friends with a freak like you?”

And he thought for sure that she would’ve just fired back like nothing, like she had done for this entire night, like Dazai usually did when he insulted him. Chuuya expected an equally degrading comment or response, something that would prove his words like nothing. 

But what he didn’t expect was for the seemingly confident and unhinged girl to physically flitch at his words, taking a step back as the ever permanent smile she always wore slipped from her lips. “O-Oh..” 

Wait, what kind of response was that? Why wasn’t she yelling at him back? 

But for Asa, it was physically impossible to do so, her words caught inside her throat as she felt herself choke on them all at once. Suddenly it was hard to see, to hear, to feel anything but the words Chuuya had given her. 

Freak. 

Suddenly, she was back as a child, hearing those very same insults and whispering all around her, telling her to disappear, telling her that she didn’t belong in their world. Of course, how could she have forgotten? That’s what everyone said, of course Chuuya was the same. 

Grimacing at the thought, Asa then looked up to the ginger haired boy only to find the previous adrenaline instantly sucked out of her body, leaving the harsh reality of her world and her eyes. 

This thing that the hellhound organization made her into, it forced her to see the ugliest parts of a human soul without her consent, forcing her to stare into the darkest and deepest pits of hell like some kind of cruel torture. 

Yes, she had used her full vision up until now without it bothering her, but that was because when she was fighting her brain could replace those images with something to her advantage. She used her defect to aid in figuring out her enemies moves, distracting herself from the true purpose of her monstrous ability. 

But it never did last, and the true curse always seemed to rear its ugly head the moment everything stilled, when the calm took over the chaos. 

In those moments, the world gave her nothing else to focus on but the physical actions and underlying emotions that laid beneath the surface. The ones she had tried hard to ignore but simply couldn’t anymore. 

And right now without her glasses, she was subjected to it all.

Her mind spiraled, focusing on every tiny thing that Chuuya had shown her. The angle of his frown, the cold and distant look in his haunting blue eyes, the veins popping from his skin, the closed off stance of his body, they flashed through her in an instant, like a camera flashing a million different photos in her face at the same time. 

It was overstimulating, overwhelming, and over amplified, leaving Asagao breathless and absolutely unprepared for the onslaught of damning information. 

She could see everything. His disappointment, his disgust, his hatred. Hatred for Dazai, hatred for her. 

Oh god, his hatred. It was so much, it was obvious. He hated her. Well of course he did, She was a freak, he called her a freak. She was a freak, obviously. Why else would people be saying that if it wasn’t the truth? 

And perhaps his rage wasn’t all directed towards her, somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that. Dazai played a part in it as well but none of that mattered when she couldn’t tell the difference anymore. 

She couldn’t see where the lines were divided and where the misdirection started or ended. 

No, all she could see was the invisible bullet of his own uncontrollable rage.

Feeling her breath start to cave in on itself, Asa gasped for air, struggling for the words. Ah, she was ruining it, she needed to say something, anything to get that ugly look from his face. She couldn’t take that look. It was tearing her apart by the second. 

Feeling her voice crack of her words, Asa then nodded her head absentmindedly as her hands fiddled around her body with no purpose. “Y-Yeah, no. That’s makes sense. Of course that’s what you’d say. That’s the most logical answer. Sorry, I just..got carried away..I guess..yeah..umm..” 

The piercing spectators of his eyes only brought her words to the standstill though, her senses overloaded with only his rejection and disgust, so much so that it started to consume her all at once, the words of her peers still slamming in the back of her head as a reminder of what she was. 

Freak. Scary. Annoying. Defect. Disgusting. Monster. 

Shaking her head to rid herself of the suffocating sight, she tried to look away, her hands frantically searching her pockets for something to quell the hurt. “A-Ah, sorry..I just...my glasses..I’ll put them back on…I know they’re here..sorry..let me just..” 

Yet the fabric on the inside of her pocket only bought her an empty reality. Shit shit shit, where were they? She didn’t want to see anymore. She didn’t want those horrible blue judgmental iris’ to haunt her anymore. 

Let her live in ignorance, let her never truly see just how much of a goddamn monster she really was. 

Because the more she looked, the more that positive view of the world started to become tainted, only seeing the absolute worst that life had to offer. How could she find the good when all she perceived right now was only bad? Chuuya’s face only showed the bad. 

And she couldn’t look away, she couldn't get it out of her head. Oh god, please stop! It hurts. I don’t want to see anymore. Someone please..

Chuuya watched in stunned silence though, the faltering and unraveling girl causing him to stare with concern before reaching a hand out with mutter. “Come on..stop playing around. You aren’t gonna fool me this time. Using the same old tricks again..” 

And truly, the boy wanted to believe it was a joke, simply because that’s what he had seen through the entire night. She played the victim and pretended to cry at least three times tonight so why would this be any different? 

Hell, the girl was probably doing this on purpose just to make him cave about her stupid friend question. But this time he was stronger than that. He wouldn’t fall for it again.  

His words only made her act even more erratic though, a choked laugh stuck inside her throat as she continued to search for something in her pockets. “S-Sorry...yeah of course you'd be bothered by this..I’ll fix it..I promise..I just have to..cover the ugly…just let me..” 

Feeling a warning bell ring in the back of his mind, Chuuya then dropped his smug ass attitude before taking a step forward with cautious confusion. This was an act, right? Just like the ones before. She was faking it, right? 

But if that was the case then why did it look like the girl was on the edge of a panic attack right now? Would she really take things that far for something so stupid. 

Reaching his hand out once more, Chuuya spoke. “Hey..” 

Yet before he could reach her, a pair of hands appeared out from behind Asagao in order to press his palms towards her eyes, covering the sight before forcing her to fall backwards into his chest with a soft mutter. “Now now Asa-chan. That’s enough. Give those pretty eyes of yours a rest.” 

And just like that, the noise inside her head and the vivid images fizzled away into nothing. Her prayers had been answered, she didn’t have to see anymore. 

Osamu had just saved her from an unspeakable destruction. 

Relaxing against his body in an instant, she let out a shaky breath. “O-Osam..” 

Dazai only cut her off though, pushing her head farther back in order to whisper in her ear gently. “Shh, I know. It’s okay, love.” 

Feeling her lips close into a tiny whimper, Asagao forced herself to stay silent. It didn’t matter if he didn’t go into detail, she knew exactly what Osamu was trying to say with just those small seemingly insignificant words. 

He knew. He understood what had just taken place. Maybe but not fully, in fact she doubted he completely grasped just how bad her eyes had dragged her away considering she only told him a vague explanation a year ago. 

But to some extent he figured out the self destruction that her conditioned mind had conjured up, he had realized the shackles that she was confined to and gave her the one thing she couldn’t give to herself. 

Then she felt a familiar cool metal object slide into her palm before gasping in recognition. Her glasses, he found them for her. Thank god. Now she could be normal again. 

Just then, her hidden face flashed with realization for her previous question.

 Perhaps he knew because they shared similar circumstances. If Osamu’s bandages were stripped unwillingly then he would’ve been the same. She had seen it firsthand after all, the very first time she tried to take away his security unknowingly. 

The physical crutches they relied on, both of them knew it too well, enough to wordlessly recognize the utter desolation that waited when they strayed from their comfort.  

And Asagao was thankful for it, for not having to voice such weak thoughts out loud. Osamu just understood, he always did, just like she always tried to do for him, he mirrored it tonight. 

Chuuya on the other hand was at a loss for words, his hand reeling back in confusion. “That was a joke, right? Either way, it still isn't’ gonna work. I’m still not going to agree to be friends with her.”

Because although he was slightly shaken up from the sight, Chuuya still couldn’t believe that her display was real. How could he? I mean, this was the same girl that just fooled an entire section of the port mafia just so that they could discredit her as weak, that tricked the ginger into staying around tonight by making him feel guilty about her birthday. 

Hell, this was the same girl that didn’t bat an eye when that traitorous bastard forcibly kissed her before going on a bloody rampage in order to torture the guy’s men one by one. 

So it didn’t make sense that a simple rejection of his friendship was enough to crumble the seemingly unbreakable auburn haired devil. That meant she had to be faking it again. Nothing else was logical except that. 

I mean, come on. She was the one that had screwed him over in the first place, her and that bandaged prick Dazai. He had a right to be pissed about it. It wasn’t the end of the world. 

She was a copy of Dazai after all, she should’ve been able to handle a couple of harsh words after single handedly disposing of an army, right?

Yet the ginger haired boy paused when his Dazai’s eyes darkened, something lethal in the corners of his vision as he glared back. “That’s fine, she doesn’t need you anyway.” 

And call him crazy but Chuuya felt a chill course through his spine at that. But he couldn’t be serious right? There was no way that Dazai Osamu, the least caring man in the universe, was being protective of this girl. It went against everything he ever knew about the boy. 

But the way his partner was staring at him right now was nothing short of murderous, just like a hundreds of times he saw it reflected in their enemies eyes. Could it be, did Dazai actually care about her, more than just an act? 

Although that's when Asagao reached her hand up before tapping the hands that were covering her eyes in order for Dazai to reluctantly let go only for her to quickly slap her glasses back on her face with a sigh. “Osamu, don’t blame him. It was my fault. I got carried away.” 

She then took a long silent breath before turning back to Chuuya with a sad smile. “Sorry about all of this. I promise I won’t bother you ever again.”

Then the girl simply bowed her head with respect before walking away from the two boys, stepping over the unconscious corpses as she walked in order to stay true to her promise. 

And fuck, he hated it but Chuuya felt really shitty for some damn reason. 

Which was ridiculous because he had no reason to. But the sad pathetic way she spoke to him caught him off guard, more than he would ever admit. 

Just what was that crazy girl doing to him?! Why was he feeling bad all of a sudden? He was just standing up for himself and calling her out on her lies. What was so wrong about that? 

But if that was the case, why did he now want to run back up to her and apologize? 

Damn it, this night was messing with him way too much. 

Turning around to watch her go, he then glanced to the side only to find that Dazai was doing the same thing, his unbandaged eye narrowed with silent thought as Chuuya spoke his thoughts. “I know why you’re with her now.” 

Although the executive didn’t move his gaze, simply staring forward with a hum. “Do tell.” 

Balling his hands to his sides, Chuuya answered roughly. “You’re trying to recruit her to the port mafia, just like you did with me when we met.” 

At first the boy didn’t know what kind of use Asagao could’ve provided to the selfish and self serving executive but after seeing her fight it could only be one thing. He wanted her power, he wanted her ability and Dazai was using this sham of a relationship to reel her into the mafia. 

Just like what he did to Chuuya all those years ago, he was manipulating her into seeing no other option but the port mafia so she’ll have no choice but to join. 

And yeah it was fucked up but the ginger couldn’t deny that Asagao would fit well in the place like that. In fact, he was sure she’d thrive in that kind of darkness if given the chance. Picking her to be his subordinate, it wasn’t a terrible move logically speaking. 

That didn’t make it right but Chuuya could understand it at least. 

His words seemed to stir something in Dazai though, the boy’s lips twitching with amusement and yet also disdain. “If she was anyone else then you’d be right. But the last place I will allow her to be is in the port mafia.” 

Widening his eyes in shock, the ginger frowned. What the hell did that mean? If she was anyone else? If he knew her potential then why hadn’t he jumped at the chance yet? What was holding him back from sinking his claws into her and never letting go? 

There was something he was missing here. “Why, because you don’t want her there?”

Dazai gave a low bitter laugh at that, knowing damn well that wasn’t the truth. In fact, if she hadn’t been given the safety net of being his best friend’s sister then Asagao would’ve been dragged into the mafia a year ago. He wasn’t that good of a man yet, after all. 

That's right, if she hadn't been connected to Odasaku then Dazai knew he would’ve only seen her ability first, her use to him just like Chuuya had accused him of. But lucky for Asagao, it wasn’t that simple. 

Testing the words on his tongue, Dazai decided to utter the truth, the words a binding contract of his promise to his only friend. “It’s not about what I want.” 

Chuuya could hardly understand though, the unfinished puzzle of information looking more confusing by the minute.

 Dazai had just implied that he did want Asagao by him in the mafia, but something was holding him back, but what could it be? Who had that kind of power to subdue the devil himself from such a tempting offering of power?

So much so, the boy couldn’t help to push further. “What the hell does that mean? That doesn’t sound like you at all. You've never been one to listen to someone else’s wants. You’re a selfish bastard who only thinks for himself.” 

Shoving his hands into his pants pockets, Dazai then took in his words silently, the meaning tossing around in his defective little head before finally closing his eyes with reality.

 If he truly was a changed man then he would’ve let Asagao go by now. He would’ve run away from her or hurt her so badly that she would never look his way again. But unfortunately for both of them that wasn’t the case. 

He couldn’t live without her anymore, not if he wanted to keep that desolate feeling of grief away. He had indulged himself too heavily to ever give her the mercy of release. He needed her like he needed to breathe. He needed her security and her safety to get him through the day, he needed her like a vice. 

And perhaps that in itself proved Chuuya’s words wrong. 

Because yes he was listening to Odasaku, but that didn’t fully protect Oda’s sister from his greed. Nothing ever could. Someday he would fly too close to the sun and get burned.

It was only a matter of time. 

Pushing his feet forward to walk past Chuuya, Dazai’s eyes then lingered back to the spot where Asagao had disappeared before moving down towards the mutilated body of the traitor that he had shot, a dark gleam flashing through his veins.

Those hideous lips, those disgusting hands, they were on her . 

They kissed her.  

Then the mafia executive leaned down, picking up a discarded gun off the floor before turning the object in his fingers with silent conjecture as his thoughts fell back into that familiar pit of hell, recalling two words that rang against his skull over and over again during their entire conversation. 

Not enough. 

Chuuya then watched wordlessly as the demon turned around immediately, shooting all of the stolen rounds into the corpse of the traitor, the dead body twitching with each lethal bullet. 

And Dazai didn’t stop until the gun was empty, the click of the chamber sounding through the space in order for the mafioso to glare before throwing the discarded object away.    

Feeling the blood begin to coat his solid black shoes, tainting him further, Dazai then finally turned back to Chuuya, the dark shadows of the warehouse overtaking the demon with silent ominous warning. 

“Who says I’m not still selfish?” 

-----

(Guys, I think Dazai is little pissed about that kiss. Just a hunch though.)

(Next Chapter is gonna be a good one, and it has to do with that kiss. Hehe)

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai bsd #dazai x reader #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #dazai x oc #dazai x odasaku!sister #bungo stray dogs odasaku #oda sakunosuke #odasaku #chuuya #dazai #15!dazai #15!chuuya

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Asagao with the odasakuman kit:

Asagao with oda manga color:

@ashleyh713fanfics

And with anime color

#stop this is so cute #im screaming #this is the first fanart someone’s made for my fic my heart is so full and happy Omg #bsd timeless

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku's Sister CH15 and CH16

Double Upload:

Chapter 15: "She's Not Like You"

Chapter 16: The Misfortune of Being Dazai's Girlfriend"

Summary: Chuuya has experienced the absolute displeasure of knowing who Dazai is firsthand. He is cruel, and selfish in everything he does with no capacity to care. So the boy is certainly surprised when he meets the demon's sweet and seemingly opposite girlfriend. But is it all a trick, or has the demon finally grown a heart?

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, pm!sixteen year old chuuya, suicide mentions, slight violence, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp and a clingy baby boy, poor chuuya is lost, confused and tormented from all angles for most of this.

(This is chapter fifteen and sixteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Master List Here

A03 Here

Work Count: 9k total

Chapter 15:

Chuuya was about to lose his mind.

It was a statement the ginger haired boy felt so clearly, his internal thoughts running rampant with a tap of his foot and the loud noisy jumble in the back of his head, stronger by the second. 

The sanity that he had desperately clinging to so desperately slipped away the more he looked at the ticking clock in front of him, mocking his very breath. And with that loss a new stronger emotion took its place. 

Fury, he was absolutely and positively furious. 

Although to be completely fair, this emotion wasn’t new at all. In fact, Chuuya realized that perhaps his past sentence wasn’t completely accurate either, considering he had felt like he had lost his mind years ago. 

He was never this angry before the port mafia. Sure, he had a temper that was established very early on during his time with the sheep but never before had Chuuya felt this sort of raging hatred before. It coursed through his veins by the second, wanting nothing but to scream it into the air. 

And he knew exactly where these emotions started, what sparked them in the first place. 

Just thinking his name brought a sense of enraged fury. 

Dazai Osamu. 

The boy he hated more than anyone else in the entire world, a slimy and manipulative brat that could get under his skin and make him crack over and over again. No, that shitty Dazai never failed to make him stir up the absolute worst parts of him for that fuckers own entertainment. 

And ever since Mori had made them partners, he had never known a day of peace.

 Today as well, it was the same as all the others, the boy crossing his arms with a furious shout as he realized the truth of the situation. Even after he called the idiot and threatened him it seemed that his words did nothing to change the outcome he had been trying to avoid. 

That sorry sack of shit, he ditched again. 

Yeah, you read that right. The mission that Chuuya had specifically told that bastard not to flake on and guess what he did? Absolutely fucking flaked. Their assignment wasn’t even that serious either. 

They had been ordered to attend a meeting with a smaller group that was tied to the port mafia and was stepping out of the line from their usual restrictions. It was going to be an easy job, just a quick threat and yet the bandaged boy couldn’t have the audacity to show his face. 

Which led to where Chuuya was now, his feet kicking a nearby trash can as his gravity ability crushed the metal pieces into nothing in order to hear his phone immediately go to voicemail for the hundredth time. 

That bandaged wearing waste of space, he was going to destroy him the next time he saw this pathetic stupid little face. Making him look like an idiot and showing up alone. No, this time he was going to pay for real. 

No one messed with Nakahara Chuuya and got away with it. 

Grumbling to himself, the ginger haired mafioso then stomped away from their meeting spot, knowing it would do no good. It was obvious that Dazai wasn’t going to turn up, he was four hours late as it was. No, he needed to take matters into his own hands. 

So instead, the boy slipped away from the shadowy edge of the building back to the mundane bustling of the city just a couple feet away, his body blending in with the hoards of naive and frivolous civilians around him. 

There was something about the sight that made his shoulders tense though, never liking the oblivious and carefree looks on their faces. He never fit in with them, not even during his time with the sheep, and though he could try to blend in it was obvious that Chuuya didn’t mix into their world at all. 

He was a mafioso after all, a brutal gravity manipulator that only saw death and destruction while the people around him never had the misfortune of witnessing such a sight. They were pure and clean, separate from the dark cruel world of the underground.

And that’s how it needed to stay, the two sides separate, always parallel but never touching. It was safer that way, the distance kept them safe, secluded in their little bubble of self made security. He didn’t belong with the mundane and they didn’t belong with him, ever. 

Sighing heavily, the sixteen year old boy then moved past a small family in front of him only to feel his feet glue to the very spot he was standing in order for his mouth to hang open with furious shock.

No, it couldn’t be. There was no fucking way. 

Because sitting in a booth in a small restaurant across the street from their meeting spot was the very bane of his existence, the boy’s lips curved upwards in a mocking smirk from the large bay window as Chuuya felt his blood boil immediately. 

Dazai was here? And not only that, he was sitting down at some no named establishment having the time of his life while the ginger waited four hours for absolutely no reason at all?!

And the way he was seated, it was like the kid wanted Chuuya to find him, his body clearly visible from the extremely large clear glass window and from the streets as he chatted away with another stranger that was just out of view. 

That bastard, he wasn’t that stupid, he must've done this on purpose. That was the only solution. He knew that Chuuya would pass by here, that he would’ve gotten sick of waiting for him and left to find him like this. He had to, or else Dazai would’ve done a better job of hiding. 

Just the idea made him seethe in uncontrollable rage.

Oh no, he was not going to get away with this. He couldn’t just screw him over like this and rub it in his face. No, he was going to drag that sorry kid back to the meeting spot and beat him to hell for ever thinking he could fuck with him like that. 

So much so, Chuuya felt his feet move on their own, his mind focused on nothing but his own fury as he stormed across the street and into the small cafe before grabbing hold of Dazai’s wrist in order to pull him back outside. 

The bandaged menace didn’t object surprisingly, allowing the very angry ginger to pull him into the nearby alley before he felt his body get slammed against the wall. “You bastard, what the hell do you think you’re doing?! I told you that if you ditched our mission again you’d regret screwing with me.” 

Dazai wasn’t bothered though, his lips turning in fake thought before shrugging his shoulders casually. “Oh, that was today? I didn’t even realize it. Sorry Chibi, I guess you’re just too insignificant in my mind to remember anything you say.”  

His response made Chuuya see red, sensing the bullshit immediately. Sure, maybe to an ignorant stranger his words would’ve made sense but the ginger had the unfortunate displeasure of knowing this bastard for over a year now. 

And nothing he just said made any sense. “Don’t fuck with me, you know damn well it was today. Why else would you be sitting directly across the street mocking me? I know you’re game, Dazai. You picked that spot cause you knew I’d see you.” 

Dazai seemed to blink back in response at that, his lips curving up into something far more devious before dropping his previous innocent act. “Huh, maybe my stupid little mutt isn’t as stupid after all..” 

And though he was right about his game, Chuuya felt no satisfaction of winning, the boy tightening his hold on Dazai in order to throw his fist back with a screaming shout. 

There it was, that stupid dog talk again, he was goddamn sick of it. “I told you not to..!!”

Yet that’s when the bandaged boy simply raised his hands up to his chest, Dazai’s voice just as condescending as usual. “Chuuya please, not so violent in front of our guest.” 

Then all at once, Chuuya felt his hand pause, still reeling backwards in order for him to blink in confusion. What the hell was this guy talking about? It had to be another joke right? Another reason to get him to wiggle out of his wraith. 

Yet even so, the boy questioned. “Guest?” 

Dazai only nodded though, using his defensive hand to point behind his seething partner as Chuuya followed his direction in order to turn around in a huff. 

And there she was, just like Dazai had said. A strange auburn haired female staring back at him, the balls of her feet rocking back and forth in some sort of giddy excitement the moment he acknowledged her. 

 Who the hell was this, another threat? And why hadn’t he sensed her until now? Could it be that he was too wrapped up in his own furious rage that he had gotten this sloppy? 

But once his eyes adjusted, he couldn’t find any type of threat. In fact, she looked as innocent and naive as they came, the girl wearing a teal turquoise colored princess dress that fluffed out by her knees with a matching colored bow that tied her hair neatly back. 

That along with a pair of large glasses covering the entirety of her eyes. 

In fact, it was so off putting that the bright colors of her outfit contrasted the dark and gloomy alley walls when she moved, creating a dissonance between the grimy streets and soft gentle aura she displayed. 

And something about her seemed familiar, like an odd case of deja vu.  

Yet before he could question anything about her, the strange girl only gasped before racing up to him in order to take his gloved hand and shake it erratically “Hiii, I’m so excited to see you again! Oh wow, it’s like a dream come true, really.” 

Her moves were hasty, causing Chuuya’s arm to immediately go numb and pull back with guarded resolve. She didn’t seem dangerous but that didn’t mean anything. He knew better than to take her fangirl attitude at face value. 

Hold on, she said that they had met before. That was strange, the boy unable to place her face to his memory, although her attitude did seem vaguely familiar from somewhere. But where?

Taking a step back in discomfort, Chuuya raised a skeptical eye. “Uhh do I know you?” 

The girl seemed confused for a quick second before she immediately brightened back up in order to slap a hand over her face. “Oh, right! Last time we met was like a year ago so I’m sure you don’t remember me. Silly me, getting ahead of myself. I do that a lot. Oops..” 

She then began to ramble, her words far too jumbled for the poor boy to understand before the girl seemed to catch herself in a soft girlish giggle. “Where was I? Oh yeah, anyways it was great! You hit me in the face and then apologized and then stopped my nose from bleeding all over the place. I think about it all the time, how nice you were back then..” 

Chuuya felt the words sink in ever so slowly, the meaning of them bringing a strange sort of deja vu. Hitting a girl in the face..stopping her nose bleed..apologizing..now why did that sound familiar?

Hold on. 

Just then, his eyes began to widen in realization. Wait, he did remember that. This was the strange weird girl that he had met back in his apartment building, wasn’t it? No wonder why her odd behavior seemed familiar. She was just as bizarre as before. 

Seemed like nothing had changed at all from a year ago. 

Pointing a finger in accusation, Chuuya shouted back in disbelief. “You..” 

The girl, what was her name again? 

Oh yeah, Asagao. 

Asagao only clapped her hands though, unable to hold in her pure joy in her sparkling little eyes as she skipped up to him happily. “Yes, it’s me! Ah, you do remember me! That makes me so happy, Chu Chu!” 

Almost immediately, he felt his throat groan in memory. That’s right, she called him that stupid nickname before he left and wasn’t able to correct her. “It’s Chuuya, say it right, and why are you even here?” 

That was the question, wasn’t it? Why was this strange girl in front of him? It’s like she had materialized from thin air without warning, both last year and right now. She said she wasn’t port mafia but was that really true? He wasn’t sure. 

Asa’s eyes only lit up with recognition though, smiling softly in reply. “Oh, that’s easy. I’m on a date with my boyfriend.” 

At that, Chuuya felt himself pause. “Boyfriend..who..?” 

The girl only laughed though, the sound light and airy as she pointed to the spot behind him with obvious conviction. “Silly goose, he’s right behind you.” 

What the hell was she saying? There wasn’t anyone behind him except for..

Whipping his head around in question, Chuuya’s wild eyes wander around the alley only to find Dazai staring back at him wordlessly. But even so, the boy couldn’t process that reality, his head looking past the boy with confusion. 

There had to be someone else, anyone else she was referring to. 

But sadly, the rest of the alleyway was empty, leaving his heart to drop with dread and lingering concern. No, it couldn’t be. She was messing with him. There was no way. 

Feeling his brain malfunction, Chuuya then turned back to the waiting girl before shaking his head to will away the thought. “Nice try, there’s no one there expect..” 

He couldn’t even finish the sentence, the reality too horrifying and sickening for him to comprehend. This sweet innocent civilian, there was no way she was wrapped up with a sick fuck like Dazai. 

Feeling his head turn from the smiling girl and back Dazai about a dozen times, poor Chuuya desperately looked for another solution, anything then what was in front of him right now. 

But with nothing to ground himself, Chuuya couldn’t help but stutter. “H-Hold on, wait a damn second, you said you were with some guy named Osu.” 

Although that’s when he watched Asagao simply step past him in order to wrap her hands around the bandaged mafioso’s forearm before leaning into the man he hated more than anything and nodding casually. “Yeah, Dazai Osamu.” 

Then all at once, Chuuya felt his entire world explode. 

Red hot heat suddenly burst into the boy’s entire face, his head reeling and spinning with horror as the poor mafioso jumped back in a ragging shout. “W-WHAT?! There’s no fucking way, you’re kidding right? You’re not seriously his...” 

Yet before he could finish the sentence, Dazai’s slimy little bandaged arms shifted around in order to wrap them around Asa’s mid section and push her against his cheek with a mocking pout. “What’s wrong, Chuuya? Jealous I got a hold of this lovely little lady and made her my girlfriend before you could?” 

Dazai’s words didn’t help his flustered expression though, Chuuya’s mind running at a mile a minute as he tried to process the new information. “J-Jealous?! Why would I be? I just..I just don’t understand. What’s wrong with you?” 

Pointing a finger towards the girl in question, Asa only waved his concern away, laughing at the seriousness of it. “Ah, that’s a loaded question, Chu Chu. We would need all day for that.” 

She was treating all this as a joke, but Chuuya didn’t find any of it funny. What the hell was she thinking, letting someone as evil and awful as Dazai control her like this? This was worse than he thought. He had to knock some sense into her. 

Shaking his head, his finger then shifted towards Dazai. “No, I mean it. Out of everyone in the world, why would you ever pick..god I can’t even say it..I think I’m gonna be sick..” 

He only watched her bat her eyes in pure innocence though, not understanding his reaction in the slightest. “Why wouldn’t I? Samu is great. He’s sweet and kind and wonderful. He’s the best boyfriend I could ever ask for!”  

Sweet, kind, wonderful? No, there was no way in hell Dazai and those words fit together in the same sentence. This was the same man that had terrorized him every single day since they forcibly became partners. This girl must’ve had a screw loose in her brain in order to think such a ridiculous statement. 

 Dazai only hummed though, obviously enjoying the distraught and disgusted look on his face in order to tighten his hold about his girlfriend’s waist and pull her even closer to him. “Aww, you flatter me, love. You’re not half bad either. In fact, I think those sweet little lips of yours are pretty great also.” 

It didn’t matter if the two weren’t involved like that, Chuuya didn’t know the difference, the boy only thinking the absolute worst from his statement as his brain began to continue to malfunction. “B-But that’s not..he’s not…” 

Luckily for him though, Asa cut off his spiral, her body detaching from Dazai’s in order to skip up to him happily. “Oh, I know! Since you’re not busy anymore why don’t you hang out with us, Chu Chu? I would love to chat and get to know you some more. That is, if you wanted to?”

That sounded like the worst idea in the entire world, the boy finally answering in a complete and coherent thought because of how ridiculous it was. “Why would I ever want to hang out with that sack of shit?”

Asagao only lifted her hands up in response though, that same idiotic grin still on her face. “Because we are celebrating my birthday, and I would love it if we could become friends. Then that would make the day even more wonderful!” 

At that, Chuuya couldn’t help but pause. “Your birthday?” 

Giving another girl-ish cute giggle under her breath, Asa then nodded her head happily before spinning around in a little circle, her skirt swishing with each word. “Yeah! Well, sort of. It’s a long story. I’m making up for lost time. Oh! But Samu got me this pretty fluffy princess dress for the occasion. Doesn't it look cute?” 

And because of her erratic movements, his eyes had no choice but to move towards the brightly colored fabric before another wave of embarrassment moved to his cheeks. What was he even supposed to say to that? Compliments weren't his thing. 

But even still he tried, noticing the hopeful look she was giving him. “Y-Yeah..I guess..” 

His flustered blush was not lost on Dazai though, the bandaged boy narrowing his eyes before reaching forward in order to pull his girl back into his arms with a huff. “Oh look, the doggie is blushing. Careful Asa-chan, don’t stand so close. Chuuya here is a pervert.” 

Feeling his voice raise immediately, the ginger haired boy willed the embarrassment away in order to cover it with an emotion he knew far too well. Anger. “W-What, I am not! She asked me! What else was I supposed to say?!” 

Dazai then shrugged his shoulders in response, his head purposely plopping on top of Asa’s left shoulder before humming absentmindedly in order to play with a loose strand of her auburn hair. “I don’t knowww, seems like an excuse to me. Sounds like something a pervert would say to deny it.” 

The executive then pushed Asa backwards by his arms, the bandaged skin wrapping tightly around her waist like Chuuya was some sort of stranger danger he needed to protect her from. 

Which was absolutely ridiculous considering the poor ginger haired boy didn’t do anything to warrant such a response. This idiot, just what was he accusing him of?! He was getting more and more pissed off by the second. 

Pushing his hands into a ball, Chuuya felt his throat strain with fury in order to shout back roughly. “Shut up, I already told you it’s not like that! Besides, you’re one to talk. You’re the one that’s always saying disgusting shit offhandedly like a dumb ass.”  

I mean seriously, why was shitty Dazai even suggesting such a thing when he constantly told Chuuya about how he was playing with women. Pinning them down, having his hands full, entertaining his time, those were just some of the sick comments he had made. 

Hold on, when he was saying all that stuff, he wasn’t talking about Asagao, right? He hoped not, she was too sweet and naive to be in that kind of situation, and for his sanity the ginger brushed the idea off. 

Dazai only pouted his lips though, a look of disbelief in his uncovered eye. “Chuuya! Are you saying that you don’t think my girlfriend is cute?” 

Although that’s when he watched Asa gasp as well, her voice turned shaky and uncertain as she turned back to Chuuya with a newly depressed tone. “W-What? You don’t think I look cute…?” 

And just like that, all the insults and saved up responses he had in his mind disappeared completely, the brutal mafioso completely at a loss for the seemingly upset civilian before him. Damn it, why did she have to look so sad? 

Not knowing how to respond, Chuuya quickly put his hands out, desperately to stop her tears and the depressed air that he had unknowingly caused. “N-No, I didn’t..that’s not what I…”

But very quickly, the boy realized that he couldn’t win. Either way, Dazai would criticize his answer, causing the ginger haired kid to quickly groan in order to pull on his hair with growing stress and anxiety.

And the cocky ass look from Dazai didn’t help as well, almost like he knew how unraveled his partner was becoming by the second. That bastard, he was making him insane.  “Ahhh just shut up!!” 

He then heard that no good bandage wearing waste of space laugh at his misery, confirming Chuuya’s theory almost instantly. He was fucking with him on purpose to gain a reaction, and he had lost yet again. Damn it. 

Yet that’s when he watched Asagao reach forward in order to plop a hand on top of Dazai’s head, his chin still firmly resting against her shoulder comfortably. “Now Samu, take it easy on Chu Chu. He hasn’t even answered my question yet.” 

Dazai then grumbled in response as Asa’s hand moved down to the death grip on her wrist in order to tap her pointer finger onto his bandages in some sort of hidden code before the boy reluctantly let go. 

Moving his fingers from his messy ginger hair, Chuuya then paused his breakdown in order to find the girl standing a few feet away from him, her hand immediately grabbing his with a small smile. “So what do you say, will you come celebrate my birthday with me?” 

Her question was absolutely insane considering the hell he had just been put through. It didn’t matter how sweet and nice this random girl was, there was no way he was going to spend the entire day with a demon like Dazai. Over his dead body. 

But how could he tell her that? She was looking at him so hopefully, even though he was sure that this Asa girl didn’t even know who he was. “Listen I don’t think..” 

Yet before he could finish, Asagao reached down in order to grab his other gloved hand, holding both of them up with a small squeeze. “Please say you’ll come! I would really love it if you were there. I just know we could be great friends!” 

But Chuuya knew the only reason she wanted him to come was because she didn’t know about his mafia lifestyle. Yes, he had asked her about the port mafia when they first met but there was no way she could know about the bloody and brutal life he lived. 

Dazai probably kept her in the dark. That was the only solution. 

Because if she did know then there was no way any sane person would ever act this way. He murdered people and she was just holding his hands like nothing.  “Now hold on, I didn’t say yes..”

Asagao only leaned closer though, Chuuya catching the vague blue of her eyes behind her glasses. “But you’re thinking about it, right?”

Her pushy nature was starting to irritate him though. Why couldn’t she just shut up and let him finish? Instead she was putting words in his mouth, making him guilty for turning her down.

Because of that, Chuuya felt a bit of his temper seep out, ripping his hands away from her hold in order to take a step back with a bitter scoff. “Cut it out, I didn’t say that either!” 

Although that’s when he watched Asagao’s face fall for a second, her shoulders slumping back down just like before in order for her to sadly chuckle under her breath. “Oh..I’m getting ahead of myself again, aren’t I? Sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. It’s just this is my first birthday in Yokohama with someone to share it with and I got carried away. All the others were so lonely before, but I understand if you’re busy…” 

Widening his eyes, Chuuya then felt his heart twist inside his chest with a guilty pang. 

Ah shit, now he felt like an asshole. She sounded so sad saying that. But how was he supposed to know that she was lonely, that she didn’t have any friends or anyone to share her birthday with? Damn it. How could he possibly deny her after that? 

And even though the last thing he wanted to do was spend time with shitty Dazai, the boy knew he could manage at least an hour or so. He guessed. Anything to make the guilt in his chest go away. 

Grumbling to himself with silent defeat, Chuuya then sighed before scratching the back of his head awkwardly, his voice slightly uncomfortable. “Fine. I’ll stay, just don’t make that face.” 

Then, like a light switch, Asagao seemingly jumped back to life, almost like her past sadness was fabricated completely in order to get what she wanted. “Wait, really?! Did you hear that Osu, he’s gonna stay! Ah, this is the best day ever!” 

Feeling immediately whiplashed, Chuuya then stood dumbfounded before feeling Asagao’s giddy and frantic arms wrap around his waist in a sloppy hug before jumping up and down once, shaking the boy completely. 

Hold on, why did he feel like he just got played? 

No, that couldn’t be. He had to be imagining it. He was just spending too much time with Dazai. That’s why her actions felt off. Stupid bastard was messing with his psyche now. Just great. 

Asagao then gasped before immediately letting go, almost as if her brain seemingly remembered some other random thought. “Well, what are you waiting for, let’s get going! I got lots of stuff I wanna do.” 

Clapping her hands together, the girl then turned around sharply, her steps quick and confident before she completely missed the door to the left in order to slam her entire face into the brick wall next to her as Chuuya gasped in horror. 

Shit, that looked like it really hurt. “...are you okay?” 

Asa only stepped back before rubbing her face once though, a goofy unbothered look still on her face in order to pat the brick with understanding. “Oh, yeah! I’m great. I just thought the door was closer than that ha ha ha.” 

Suddenly Chuuya couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu, recalling their first meeting. Damn, she wasn’t kidding when she said she had shitty eyesight. 

How did she ever get anywhere like that? Weren’t those glasses supposed to help? Great, now he was even more concerned about her. 

Lifting up his hand to help her, the girl simply stepped away from it, Asa’s hand finding the doorknob in order to enter back into the cafe as Chuuya watched completely and utterly dumbfounded. That girl was something else. 

He didn’t think he’d ever met someone like her before. So strange and odd yet so gentle and kind at the same time. He didn’t know what to make of her at all. And for some reason, one interaction with her had left him completely winded and exhausted, like he had just ran a marathon. 

Now that he mentioned it, he felt like that the last time they had met also. Completely and utterly drained of all energy. 

Giving out a heavy sigh at the feeling, Chuuya then turned around back to Dazai before a wave of displeasure washed over him. He couldn’t talk about this while Asa was around but now that she was gone he wanted answers. 

This cocky son of a bitch, he had to have some sort of underhanded motive for keeping a girl like her around, and he was going to find out what. “What the hell is your game?” 

Dazai only batted his uncovered eye with fake innocence though, something that made Chuuya feel sick. “Game? I don’t know what you mean.” 

He was lying, it was obvious, which meant he was using that poor girl for something. “Don’t fuck with me. That girl, you can’t be serious, right?” 

The only thing he received though was a cocky ass smirk, the bandaged boy stepping closer with a dark gleam in the corner of his eye. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, Chuuya.” 

And sure, Dazai was right in a sense. He didn’t really care about the types of women he kept around but he felt bad for Asagao, so much so that seeing a pure soul with someone like Dazai didn’t feel right. This kid would only make her cry, that was practically a guarantee. 

And call him weak or whatever but Chuuya didn’t want to see that kind of result for her. 

She was so different from them after all, it was practically obvious to tell from that one tiny interaction. Dazai and him had murdered, tortured and committed thousands of crimes. 

She didn't need to be around that. She didn’t deserve to have that light around her die like theirs had. “It becomes my business when you drag innocent civilians like her into danger just because you think it would be funny to watch.” 

And he was sure that Dazai saw this as some kind of sick game, that he was relishing in the corruption of this girl between his fingers but Chuuya didn’t agree with that ideology. The two worlds needed to be separate and this idiot was mixing what shouldn’t be mixed. 

Although something about his warning seemed to bring the boy amusement, Dazai’s lips curving up into a scoff as he whispered the words on his tongue. “Civilians like her, huh? What a dense word choice..” 

Yet before he could question it, the boy covered his comment with another, his tongue licking his lips in some sort of depraved manner. “You’re right Chibi, she is quite fun. In fact, she’s the most fun I’ve had in years.” 

Chuuya felt himself cringe in disgust at that, not warning to know what he was implying. “I mean it, shitty Dazai. Stop manipulating her. She’s not like you.” 

Once again though, Dazai only snorted, his lips carrying an ominous air to them as he chuckled under his breath to Chuuya’s dismay. What kind of reaction was that?

Taking a threatening step forward, the ginger haired boy narrowed his eyes, not understanding the joke. “What’s so damn funny about that?” 

The air was silent then, Chuuya watching as Dazai simply turned away from him in order to open the door back to the cafe with a small shake of his head. “I take back what I said, you’re still stupid.” 

At that, the boy felt himself grow livid, his head reeling with anger in frustration in order to snap back to Dazai with a shout. “W-What? What the hell does that mean?!” 

Dazai only paused in the doorway though, his hand moving towards the frame before looking back towards his idiot partner with a cocky knowing smirk, the ginger’s words playing in his ear in an amusing loop. 

She’s not like you. 

Oh how wrong poor little Chuuya was. 

And Dazai couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when he realized it. 

Tilting his head to the side, Dazai then finished cryptically, a chill running up Chuuya’s spine as he unknowingly took in every single word with dread. 

“That’s for you to find out.” 

-----

Chapter 16:

Feeling even more drained than before, Chuuya took a couple more moments alone before finally deciding to enter the back door of the cafe with an anxious weighted sigh of frustration. 

He had absolutely no idea what Dazai had meant back in that alleyway but not knowing was honestly pissing him off even more. Whatever it was though, it didn’t sound good, almost like the boy was mocking his inability to see something that was in front of his face. 

But what didn’t he understand? Things looked pretty clear to him. 

And that was that this strange girl was in danger, in multiple horrifying ways. 

The first was Dazai obviously, that was the most blatant one. It was almost a guarantee in his mind that the loser didn’t care about her and was only using her for some sort of selfish purpose. 

Because that’s just how Dazai was. He was unapologetically cruel and inhumane. He did things for sheer entertainment even if the other party was desecrated in the process. 

And Chuuya knew that firsthand, considering he had the unfortunate displeasure of being on both the receiving and spectating sides. 

He comprehended the bastard so well, more than he ever wanted to in the first place, and because of that, Chuuya also knew that Dazai didn’t have the capacity to keep someone around without it having a benefit to him. 

But the question was, what was Asagao’s benefit to a demon like Dazai? What was the reason he kept her around? Was it merely for some sick kick or was it something that Chuuya wasn’t seeing? 

Because his interactions with that girl thus far had been as innocent as they came. Sure, she was weird and kind of strange but that’s about it. Dazai never bothered with civilians before so what made her so special? Or was the girl just a fly caught in a deceptive and manipulative web? He didn’t know. 

But the second reason she was in danger was possibly even worse than the first. Because if Dazai did hypothetically care about this girl, which was highly unlikely but Chuuya could play devil's advocate, then he had to know that just being out like this was putting her at risk to be hurt, kidnapped or even tortured by his enemies. 

The guy was an executive after all, Mori’s right hand man and he had made a million enemies during his time in the port mafia. He knew Dazai wasn’t an idiot so he must have known that attaching himself to such a weak and helpless girl would make her a target in an instant. 

That’s why Chuuya never tried or even toyed with the idea of dating, because he knew that any partner he gained would be in constant peril, and that was something the ginger haired boy couldn’t stomach. 

But here was Dazai, bringing his girlfriend out in public, pushing themselves in with hoards of people and letting her roam alone when he knew damn well the risk that was waiting around every corner. 

That made Chuuya’s first theory seem more plausible. He had to just be fucking around, because there was no way anyone would ever do what he was doing to a loved one. They would protect a partner, not make them balance on a line between safety and the instability of life.   

But either way, whichever it turned out to be, Chuuya was going to find out. 

Because if she really was in danger the ginger knew he had to get her out of it. Dazai would never come to her aid, he would never let her go so now it was up to him. 

Over his dead body would he ever allow a moral and pure person like her to be corrupted so brutally. No, he would stop it before that slimy bandaged prick could even try. 

Giving another full body sigh, Chuuya then turned the corner only to come out of his thoughts as he watched Asagao brighten up at his presence, her hand waving wildly from across the cafe in order to slightly bounce off her seat. “Chu Chu, over here! We got you a seat!”  

Almost immediately, a wave of disgust poured into his throat at her given nickname, the port mafia member reluctantly noticing the long empty booth in the corner as Dazai and Asagao sat together on the opposite side by the large window. 

Making his way over to her in order to slide into the empty booth with a groan, he got down to business. First things first, that name had to go. “Listen, if I’m gonna stay then you need to cut it out with that name already.” 

At first he thought she used it by accident but very quickly it was apparent that wasn’t the case. She was doing it on purpose, evading his actual name for a cute-sy replacement and he was sick of it. 

Asagao only turned her head though. “Aww really? But I think it’s cute.” 

Dazai then nodded in agreement before slinging an arm around her shoulder in order to pull her closer with a mocking reply. “Yeah Chu Chu, lighten up already. I’d say it’s growing on me too.” 

But that just made the situation even worse, the boy feeling his temper rise by the second. “Oh god, don’t you dare start. It’s not cute, it’s fucking annoying. I hate it.” 

And that seemed to be new information for Asa. “You really hate it?” 

Slamming his hands on the table, he replied. “Yes! It’s the worst nickname I’ve ever heard. Just call me by my name if you wanna talk to me, will you? It’s not that hard.” 

He then watched Asa pause for a second, seemingly taking in his words before her eyes flashed with something different, something that Chuuya couldn’t put his finger on. “Okay, I understand. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that without permission. I promise I won’t say it anymore until you agree to it.” 

Chuuya only scoffed though, firm in his beliefs. “Yeah well, like hell that’s ever gonna happen so you better get used to just using my actual name instead.” 

Asa then smiled, the corners not reaching the tips of her cheeks in order to close her eyes with some sort of unknown acceptance. “Okay, Chuuya. I understand.” 

Good, she probably realized that this was a challenge that was impossible to beat, that’s why she was giving up so easily. Well, that was easy enough. Usually he’d have to fight someone on his decision more. How strange and refreshing. 

Dazai on the other hand only pouted his lips, tapping his fingers playfully on the table. “Aww Chuuya’s such a party pooper. He doesn’t let me say any of his nicknames either. Doesn’t stop me ignoring it. I say to do it anyway. It’s funny to watch him explode, trust me.” 

Glaring in the direction of the boy, Chuuya grumbled only for Asagao to lift a hand up and touch his bandaged wrist gently. “No, it’s okay. I went overboard anyways. If I want us to be friends then I have to listen and respect his wishes.” 

Her words were so kind and mindful, causing the ginger haired boy to blink in disbelief. Damn, when was the last time someone was so careful of his requests? Did she really want to be friends with him that badly? But why, he wasn’t anyone special. 

So much so, the boy couldn’t help to voice his question, desperate to know the answer. “Hey so uhh how did you even get involved with shitty Dazai in the first place? I mean you are way better than him. Why settle?” 

The bluntness of his question didn’t shake the girl though, her fingers tracing an invisible line down Osamu’s bandaged wrist as he watched her quietly. “I don’t see it as settling at all. Osamu is the only person I value more than anyone else in the world. The connection I have to him can’t be explained in words.” 

Huh, that was strange. Her response was so personal and yet so vague, something that Chuuya couldn't comprehend in the slighest. What did that even mean? And how could she value an awful person like Dazai so wholeheartedly? There had to be something he was missing. 

But before he got the chance, Osamu gasped over dramatically in order to flop his head on her shoulder and nuzzle into her neck in order to wrap his arms around her chest in a suffocating hug. “Aww Asa-chan! You’re too precious and adorable! Hey Chuuya, isn’t my girlfriend just the best?! I don’t know how I got so lucky to be even near the presence of an angel like her!” 

Asagao only accepted her “death by hug” though, the girl smiling lovingly under the suffocation but not returning the gesture which Chuuya found odd. If she was that happy by his touch then why wasn’t she returning it? 

It was like they had some sort of unspoken rule about it or something. 

Sighing to himself, Chuuya then grumbled under his breath, the response mostly to himself then the love birds across from him. “I have no idea. If you ask me she’s too good for a suicidal bastard like you.” 

If the two heard his comment though, they didn’t acknowledge it, Asagao simply closing her eyes in order to smile softly under Osamu’s firm embrace. “Ahh, me too Osamu. I also feel lucky. In fact, today is such a wonderful day to be alive, don’t you think?” 

Pulling away just slightly, Dazai then wrinkled his nose in disgust like she had just uttered something completely outrageous. “Don’t know, it feels the same like every other pointless day to me.” 

His depressing comment only made her silently contemplate the thought though, Chuuya watching her as she shifted back from the boy in order to gaze towards the open window in some sort of understanding. 

Then after a moment, she answered, her eyes distantly not connecting to the bustling crowds just past the glass barrier around her vision. “Hmm, well I’d like to think it’s at least a little different. Feels better that way, you know?” 

Chuuya didn’t fully get her response though, sensing the dissonance between the two immediately and calling her out on it. “What does that even mean?” 

Asagao then glanced back at the ginger haired mafioso before lifting her fingers up to her glasses in order to push up the surface. “Oh uhhh I just think it’s better to think about the possibilities that the world can offer. I mean if you go in with a good attitude then even the most evil things can’t really be all that bad, right?” 

Chuuya only scoffed at her sugar coated response though, throwing it away immediately. Sure, it was a nice sentiment to be so positive about things but he had seen firsthand the depravity and horrors that the world could offer by being in the underground back alleys his entire life. 

And her thought process was naive at best, knowing it would only cause destruction in the end. “That stupid thinking is just gonna get you disappointed when you’re wrong.” 

Asagao didn’t seem shaken by his rough response, almost as if she had already expected him to say something like that. “Maybe, but someone has to believe in the impossible outcomes, otherwise none of them will ever come true.” 

Her words were surprising, a complete contrast to the dark and pointless ideology that he had heard Dazai utter time and time again. Could these two really mix well together with such opposite views? That guy only saw death while she saw the life that bloomed from possibilities around her. 

And even though she knew that it may lead to disappointment down the road, she simply didn’t care, still choosing to believe in the best path even when the cobblestone was lined with only dead ends. 

How strange, putting so much faith in an unstable and cruel world like theirs. 

Hold on, was that why she stuck by an awful boy like Dazai this long, was it because of her inability to connect the red flags and danger in her mind? Suddenly things were starting to make more sense, why she could stomach such an insufferable bastard like him. 

Wait, did Dazai know this also, was that how he was taking advantage of her? 

It had to be, because why else would a demon like that guy ever care about a creature like her, so full of life and sparks of mortality, especially when he only wished for the absolute opposite. 

Yet before he could say anything else, the waitress came over in order to drop off a tray of tiny desserts at their table in order for Asagao to audibly gasp in joy. “Ah, it’s here! Dig in, everyone! I got a sampler tray for us cause I wasn’t sure what kind of sweets you like Chuuya. I hope there is something in here that looks good to you.” 

Looking down at the brightly colored desserts, Chuuya then surveyed the options with silent conjecture. He was never really a sweets kind of guy but it seemed rude to turn down the offer, especially considering she was so thoughtful in picking something he might like. 

And on her birthday no less. She was still thinking about everyone else around her first. How sweet. 

The boy then picked out a simple strawberry fruit parfait with silent acceptance as Asagao grabbed a chocolate coated cake before Dazai took a piece from her dessert in order to shove it into his mouth with a gasp. 

Leaning over to him with anticipation, Asa replied. “Well, what do you think? Is it good?” 

Dazai then smiled to himself in order to turn towards the girl and place his fingers onto her jaw and pull her forward with a knowing hum. “I don’t know, why don’t you try it, love? Here, let me..” 

Lifting the fork up in her direction, the mafia executive then pressed his fingers further into her cheeks, causing her jaw to open and her lips to part in order for Dazai to sensually speak back. “Now open those pretty pink lips of yours for me, darling and say ahh..” 

Chuuya then watched in stunned silence as Dazai pushed the fork into her mouth, feeding the girl like some sort of baby bird as Asa happily accepted the bite. 

Just what the fuck is wrong with them? Dazai he expected but he would’ve thought the girl would’ve turned down that kind of embarrassing pda, especially when they were near that huge ass glass window leading to the street. Did they really have no shame? 

What a couple of freaks. Get a room. 

Watching her eyes practically sparkle in response, Asa immediately licked her lips from the chocolatey taste in order to speak casually like nothing was out of the ordinary. “Wow, that is good! Thanks Samu!” 

Chuuya then resisted the urge to cringe as the girl then turned her eyes over him in order to catch him staring. “Oh, sorry Chuuya. Do you want some too? It’s really good, I promise..” 

Almost immediately, the boy put his hands up, already feeling slightly embarrassed by the display he had just witnessed. “No way, especially not after you got your germs on it.” 

Dazai then smirked to himself in order to pick up the fork once and wiggle across the table in Chuuya’s face. “Aww come on Chuuya! You want me to feed you too? Come here, I’ll give you a nice big bite!!” 

Feeling himself back away in absolute disgust and horror, the boy quickly shook his head. No way was he gonna let this idiot do that. He’d probably shove that cake down his throat and make him choke to death on it. “Back off, shitty Dazai! Don’t you fucking dare!!” 

Already placing his hands on the table in a mock attack, the bandaged boy turned his head in a challenge. “What’s the matter, Chibi? You were so intent on watching us. I thought you wanted a turn.” 

Chuuya could only stutter back, denying whatever the guy was implying. “That’s only because you two are in front of my fucking face. I had no choice, you freak!” 

Shrugging his shoulders in response, Dazai replied mockingly. “I don’t know. To me it just sounds like more evidence that you’re a pervert.” 

Almost immediately, Chuuya felt his face turn red. Not this again. Dazai was making him look bad for no damn reason. Obviously it wasn’t like that. “Will you quit it with that! I said I’m not a..!!” 

Yet his enemy only cut him off, placing his hands over his lips in a makeshift microphone in order to raise his voice to the entire cafe as he sang loudly. “Hey everyone, did you hear that? Chuuya’s a pervert, Chuuya’s a big fat pervert!” 

Slamming his hands on the table, Chuuya then lifted his body fully off the seat, the red ominous glow of his ability outlining his frame as he thought of all the ways to beat the shit out of the kid in front of him. 

Anything to make him shut his goddamn mouth. “Why you..!!” 

Yet before he had the chance to do so, both Dazai and Chuuya were halted when he heard a fit of laughter next to them, the two boys turning in order to find Asagao physically holding her stomach as tears pricked the corners of her ears as she tried to breathe. 

They seemed dumbfounded at that, the kid’s silent as Asa simply wiped a stray tear away in order to put a hand up in apology. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m just so happy. I’ve never experienced anything this lively before. It’s so different from my other birthdays. It’s great, really..” 

She seemed genuinely happy about their bickering, like the loud and rambunctious air was music to her ears which concerned Chuuya more than anything. Who in the hell liked yelling and arguing? He was right, there was something wrong with her. 

But Dazai seemed to understand more about her sentence, the boy sliding back down in his seat in order to place a warm hand to her head in absolute silence as she tried to desperately quell her laughter.    

And although their interaction was completely wordless, even Chuuya could sense some kind of hidden meaning to it. Like they were reading each other's minds. Weird. 

But the new air was enough to make the boy slump back into his seat as well, grumbling to himself as his anger dissipated.

What could he even say to that? Sure, he still wanted to throttle the idiot but after seeing that face from her he decided to resist. 

Just barely. 

“Whatever. Just hurry up and finish so I can go home already.” 

The rest of the dessert party was relatively normal. Sure, Dazai and Chuuya still snapped at each other every five seconds but Asa didn’t seem to mind, the girl happily eating away at her cake until there was nothing left. 

And once they were done, the three kids made their way back into the streets of people only for the gingered haired boy to watch Dazai kick his foot out just as Asa approached behind him. 

Then almost immediately, the poor girl walked right into his shoe, tripping on his outstretched foot, falling forwards with a squeak only for Dazai to shift his body and grab her by the waist rather dramatically before she could fall to the ground. 

Titling her body back into an intimate bow, the sixteen year old boy then snickered to himself. “My Asa-chan. I know you said you fell for me but you have to be more careful. My darling girlfriend, whatever would I do if something happened to you?”

His smooth talk was real rich considering he had purposely kicked his foot out so that she would fall. What a shady little brat, acting like her hero when he was really making fun of her inability to see. 

Asagao didn’t seem to notice though, her voice casual. “Sorry, Samu. I’m still getting used to the streets of Yokohama. Thanks for catching me though.” 

Dazai then gasped in an over the top fashion before snapping her body back up in order to shove her to his chest in a protective hold. “Not to worry my love, I will always catch you! I mean how could I not when you’ve already fallen from heaven and into my arms!” 

Chuuya only resisted the urge to gag at his pick up lines, feeling more drained then ever before. “Right so, can I go now? I’ve stayed long enough hearing this bastard's bullshit.” 

That seemed to shatter their little personal bubble though, Asagao immediately breaking away from Osu in order to run up to the gravity manipulator with a gasp. “What, no you can’t go yet. The day’s not over yet. I still have lots of plans.”

Raising an eye, the boy frowned. “Like?” 

Asa then lifted her hands up to the sky, shouting back happily. “Like karaoke!” 

Chuuya only blinked in confusion though, the words processing on his tongue. “...karaoke?” 

She wanted two port mafia members to sing karaoke with her? Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. That would ruin his image he was trying to go for. Besides, her plans sounded rather mundane, and that was something that Chuuya was never good at in the first place. 

Yet before he could argue, Dazai had latched onto Asa’s wrist in order to drag her behind him and down the road. “Come on Chibi, it’s my darlings day, whatever she says goes!” 

Chuuya then watched the couple as his partner practically yanked the girl around the busy groups of people as the ginger chased after them with concern. 

What the hell kind of hold was that? It looked like he was trying to kidnap her. “Hold on, why are you pulling her like that?” 

Dazai then paused for a moment, his hold unmoving from her wrist in order to glance back with a sly smirk. “Cause my love is hopelessly lost without me to guide her, isn't’ that right?” 

Asagao only nodded her head in response in order for the boy to continue his rough handling as Chuuya couldn’t help but follow behind them with apprehension. How could the girl possibly be okay with this? He wasn’t even holding her hand, he was just dragging her around like a dog on a leash. 

Great, now he couldn’t leave them alone. 

Not when he was still unsure what Dazai’s plans really were. 

Yet unknown to the spiraling Chuuya, the bandaged boy and the glasses girl then secretly glanced towards each other, sharing a hidden message with their eye contact and a small unseen nod before she felt Dazai’s fingers tighten around his hold. 

And as they went, a group of shadowy figures watched dangerously from a distance as well, their gaze focusing in on the executive and the auburn haired female that was attached to his side. 

But mostly the girl. 

Nakahara Chuuya had been in a million horrifying situations. 

He had seen wars, witnessed the most brutal of deaths and tortured the worst criminals he could possibly imagine. But nothing, and I mean nothing could have prepared him for this. 

Because right now the port mafia member, the leader of the sheep, the fearsome gravity manipulator was stuck sitting on a plush sofa, listening to Dazai badly sing and dance the latest pop songs over and over again for hours on end. 

And not only that, Asagao and Osamu seemed to encourage each other every single time, the two kids having a time of their life as they took turns with the verses, clapping and cheering like they were at an actual concert. 

It was an odd sight for sure. Because although Asa wasn’t half bad at singing, Dazai purposely sang horribly, probably to get on Chuuya nerves and make him want to run into oncoming traffic. Because if that was the plan he was succeeding. 

But as ear grating and overstimulating as it was, even Chuuya couldn’t help but admit that the two of them looked good together in some kind of fucked up way. The way they danced and shouted seemed to be in a sync that the ginger couldn’t comprehend. 

Now and back at the cafe they seemed to read each other's minds without a word, able to predict their next arm gestures or kicks in order to match it in a millisecond. 

It was kind of impressive to be honest, how well they matched each other without even trying.

Finally the song ended as Asa and Osamu gave each other a giddy high five and flop onto the sofa in order for the girl to lift out the microphone to Chuuya. “Ah, that was fun! You should really try it, Chuuya. It’s very freeing!” 

The boy only shook his head though, pushing the object away. There was no way in hell he was going to sing while Dazai was here. The guy would just make fun of him for it. “Nah, I’m alright. You can take my turn since you’re so good at it.” 

Asagao then smiled before pulling the mic back to her. “You think so? I’ve been practicing for this very moment. Glad to know all the singing alone in my room paid off finally!” 

Her response was depressing as hell, causing Chuuya to raise an eye in question. She said something like that in the cafe also. What was her life even like before she met Dazai? Because the way she was speaking it seemed kind of lonely and sad. 

Yet before he could speak on it, Osamu stretched out his arms in order to throw the heavy microphone directly into Chuuya’s face. “Honestly, it’s for the better if he stays quiet. I’ve heard Chibi sing and it sounds like a cat in a dishwasher.  Trust me, Asa-chan. You’re dodging a bullet there!” 

Then the boy pointed to the door with a hum. “I’m going to extend our time, try not to miss me too much while I’m gone, love.” 

Dazai then winked in her direction before leaving Asa and the ginger alone in an awkward and uncomfortable silence. 

Not knowing what to say, Chuuya then jumped up before also moving towards the door with a rushed reply. “I’m gonna go get a drink. You want anything?” 

Shaking her head in response, the boy then took in the answer before disappearing down the hallway in order to force himself to breathe from the strange new atmosphere. 

This place was so different from the places he usually frequented, littered with hoards of school kids in uniform around the same age as him. Even still, the mafioso still felt out of place in his own supposed domain. 

Perhaps if he wasn’t in the sheep or the mafia then this could feel more natural. 

Sighing to himself, Chuuya then couldn’t help but think back to the annoying and insufferable bandaged menace that he had been forced to follow around all day. He still didn’t know what to make of Asa and Dazai’s relationship but he still couldn’t help but be conflicted by it. 

Because nothing had explicitly shown him that Dazai didn’t care about her. Yes, he was still mean and cruel but there was something else about the two of them that Chuuya couldn’t place. 

The way the two looked at each other sometimes, the way they silently communicated with each other by simple and seemingly natural touches, it was something that the ginger hadn’t seen at all from Dazai in the time he’d known him. 

And it was blatantly obvious that Asagao was crazy about him but was it the same for the executive? Could it really be? Did Dazai actually have the capacity to care about someone else other than himself? 

Had he been wrong this entire time? You know, perhaps he judged the guy too quickly. Sure, he wasn’t a good person but perhaps he wasn’t all evil. Maybe, just maybe there was hope somewhere deep inside that pitch black heart of his. 

Turning the corner to get to the vending machine, Chuuya then froze as he saw a very familiar black jacket and bandaged arms appeared in his vision just a couple feet away. 

And just like that, every single bit of hope, every nice thing he had said in his mind about his partner flew out the window in an instant. 

Because standing a couple feet away was that very same boy, grabbing onto some random ladies' hands lovingly while flirting with her openly in front of the entire building as he swooned.“I have to ask. Would a beautiful lady such as yourself be interested in a double suicide with me?” 

And hearing his words, Chuuya only saw red.

 That bastard, that two timing, cheating little rat! His lovesick girlfriend was just steps away and he was just betraying her so easily, on her birthday nonetheless!! God, what a selfish horrible, ugly little prick. He wanted to beat his face in. 

How could he do that to her? Didn’t he hear what she said about him, about how she thought that Dazai was the most important thing to her? He really had no problem crushing her dreams like that. 

Although that’s when he heard a small female voice behind him, poking his shoulder once. “Umm Chuuya? Are you okay? You took a while so I got worried.” 

Feeling his face grow pale, Chuuya then immediately turned around before catching the concerned look in Asagao’s face. No, this was bad. She couldn’t see this. It would crush her, it would hurt her beyond reason, and on her birthday. 

No, he couldn’t let that happen, he wouldn’t give Dazai the satisfaction. 

Quickly reaching his hand forward, Chuuya then latched onto her eyes in order to push her backwards and away from the horrible disgusting sight. “Follow me, this way…” 

He didn’t let go until the two were fully outside of the building, his hand moving away in order to immediately shut down the danger as quickly as possible. “Listen, you need to break up with Dazai. Trust me, it’s for your own good.” 

At that, Asa softened, almost like she already knew where this conversation was heading. “Chuuya..” 

Chuuya shook his head almost instantly though. “Look, I know you wanna believe that he’s a good guy or whatever but that’s just not the case. He isn’t this sweet boyfriend you’ve hoping for. He’s a monster, he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and dating you is definitely some sort of sick joke to him. I just know it.” 

Once again, the girl was only unbothered. “Thank you for being worried about me, but Osamu’s not as bad as you think he is.”

Not as bad?! No, she was right, he was worse. Dazai was the worst person he had ever had the displeasure of meeting and Chuuya was desperate to get his slimy little fingers off of her as quickly as possible. Just because he had to deal with him didn’t mean she did as well. 

So much so, the control he had slowly started to slip away in order to make her understand the severity. “No, you don’t get it! That bastard is in there cheating on you right now, flirting with some chick with absolutely no shame! He’s disgusting.” 

Ah shit, he didn’t mean to spill that to her right now. But what could he do, he was just so pissed about her inability to see what was really wrong here. Yes, maybe she’d cry but at least she’d understand. 

She was silent then, causing Chuuya to hastily continue. “The truth is, you don’t know anything about him. He’s been playing with you this whole damn time! How much did he tell you about being in the port mafia? Has he told you he’s murdered and tortured thousands of people? Has he said anything about the disturbing crimes and disgusting shit I’ve seen him do for the last year? Face it, Asagao. He doesn’t care, he never did.” 

Grabbing hold of her shoulders in order to shake some sense into her, the boy finished plainly. “Look, I can get you out of here. I can help you leave him if he won’t let you but you need to do it now. By attaching yourself to him you’ve already put yourself in danger. People are going to see you as a target and I’m damn sure that Dazai won’t come save you either. Do you hear me, you’re going to die if you stay here..” 

And he was prepared to ditch this place in a heartbeat in order to make sure such a kind and pure soul was safe from the clutches of the demon. 

Perhaps Dazai didn’t have a heart but he did and the last thing he was going to do was allow the light in her to die just because that mackerel didn’t care enough to protect it. 

Yet before he could speak again, Chuuya’s entire body began to tense as he felt a threatening presence join them in the alleyway, causing the boy to immediately shove his arms into Asagao in order to push her behind him with a glare. Who the fuck..?

A group of individuals seemingly appeared out of nowhere then, one to the men clapping sarcastically at the scene before him. “Well well well, what do we have here? I thought we had a meeting today but here you seem to be having a grand old time after standing us up.” 

Chuuya recognized the men immediately, a groan sounding in the back of his throat. Ah shit, these were the guys that Dazai and him were supposed to threaten for stepping out of line and going against the port mafia’s orders. Looks like they got tired of waiting just like him.

And though he could understand their annoyance, the fact that Asagao was here with him made this situation a million times worse. This is what he was trying to avoid and now the lines between his world and hers were crossing into each other. 

Keeping his stance strained, the mafioso then shoved his hands into his pockets before giving the men around them a warning look. “The meeting got pushed back. My shitty partner decided to go MIA and I was just about to drag him back.” 

Although that’s when the man in the middle of the group started to laugh, his lips turning up into a twisted toothy grin in order to lift his hand out to his men for something. “Oh, that won’t be necessary, plans have changed.” 

Reaching behind him, the random thug then pulled out a very familiar black jacket, the fabric crumbled and messy as a deep set of crimson blood dripped from the ends. 

Oh fuck, this was bad. These guys didn’t want a meeting, did he? They wanted an ambush, to fully break free of the mafia’s chains.

And now they had Dazai as leverage to do it. 

Chuuya was then taken out his thoughts as Asagao shouted in pure fear, her voice shaky and uncertain, a flash of red auburn ran past his vision in order to reach the jacket. “O-Osamu?!” 

Feeling his throat stain with terror, the ginger quickly lifted his hand out to stop her only to hit air, almost like she was never there in the first place before blinking and finding her a couple inches from the fabric. 

Damn it, what the fuck was she doing?! “Hey wait, don’t..!!” 

It was too late though, one of the men activating their ability in an instant as red sharp strings sprung from his fingertips in order to latch onto Asagao’s neck and pull her backwards into enemy arms. 

The sharp skill instantly choked her, causing the girl to gasp out in fear only for her captives to twist her arms behind her back painfully with a sick hum. “Mmm and what do we have here?” 

Chuuya was livid though, his body already glowing with his gravity manipulation ability and absolute rage. “Bastard! Let her go, she’s not a part of this!” 

The man only laughed though, tightening the strings on her throat as Asa let out another suffocating gasp before tapping her cheek once. “I beg to differ, Nakahara. We’ve been watching this one very closely. Who would’ve thought we would get to meet the demon prodigy’s precious little girlfriend? I think we’ll keep her too just to make him squirm.” 

Analyzing the situation with a pounding heartbeat, Chuuya glanced at the men around him before cursing silently. From the way they were positioned any move could cause the ability around Asa’s neck to snap her head off completely. He was stuck. 

Grasping for anything he could, the boy glared back. “Nice try but Dazai doesn’t care about her like that. Taking her won’t give you any damn leverage.”

And he hoped that would be enough to let her go, to lessen her value to these dangerous men, but sadly he only received the opposite. “Oh, I don’t know about that. We witnessed firsthand how the executive treats her. The overly touching, feeding each other deserts in plain sight, saying that he doesn’t know what he would do without her, we’ve seen it all.” 

Feeling his eyes widen, Chuuya then felt his hands turn practically white from his grip. Fuck, this is what he was trying to tell that bastard since the beginning. He was practically throwing himself on her in public all day and now Asagao was a target because of his reckless behavior. 

Why wasn’t he more careful, why didn’t he realize this was going to be the result? Or did he truly just not care about Asagao at all? How evil, leaving her to defend herself like this for attacks when she couldn’t handle it. 

What a misfortune it was, being labeled as the misfortune of being Dazai’s girlfriend. What a death wish it truly brought to such a poor innocent girl in an instant.  

He was so angry. No, he was absolutely furious for her that he felt his gravity ability glow even brighter only for the man to quickly close his fingers as Asa suffocated even faster. “Now, let’s not be so hasty. We have the executive and the girl. So it would be beneficial if you just went along with our requests instead of that? Otherwise who knows what could happen to her?” 

Snapping his fingers, one of the guys then pulled out a pair of handcuffs before throwing them on the floor by Chuuya’s feet as the boy looked at the metal with disgust. 

They wanted him to put on these ability suppressors and follow them to god knows where?  You’ve got to be kidding me. There was no way in hell he was going to do that. 

 But if he didn’t then that meant that Asagao would be taken to Dazai and inevitably killed when that mackerel expressed his indifference to her. 

Damn it, he really had no choice, did he? 

Looking back up to the girl in question, her scared expression then locked onto his in order for small tears to prick the corners of her eyes. “C-Chuuya..” 

And just like that, Chuuya immediately reached down in order to quickly latch the ability suppression cuffs on his wrist, disabling his desire to fight back as the men around him laughed at the defenseless boy. “Good choice.” 

Then before he could answer, the red strings disappeared around Asa’s throat leaving her to collapse unconsciously onto the cold ground as Chuuya felt a painful knock in the back of his head at the same time, meeting her straight onto the ground. 

Before he blacked out completely, the boy cursed Dazai’s name, reaching his hand out towards the unmoving auburn haired girl in question with a silent promise. 

Damn it, I’ll get you out of here, I promise.

----

(This is a fourth part mini arc that will all connect together. These are the first two parts and I'll post the second two together as well. Thanks for reading!)

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai bsd #dazai x reader #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #dazai #chuuya fifteen #chuuya x reader #chuuya bsd #dazai x odasaku!sister #oda sakunosuke #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #ao3feed #ao3 link #ao3 writer #fanfiction #ao3 stuff #archive of our own #bsd writing #bsd

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku's Sister CH14

Chapter 13: "He Doesn't Want To Be Saved”

Summary: As Odasaku's sister tries to find a way to make up for Dazai's missed birthday, she learns that it might not be so simple. Because why would a boy so intent on dying ever want to celebrate living?

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old dazai, suicide mentions, guns, manipulation on both sides, odasaku death mentions, dazai being a simp, protective ango

(This is chapter fourteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. I'll link the master list below so you can get the full story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Master List Here

A03 Here

Work Count: 6k

Ango placed a hand up to his face before rubbing his temple in order to quell the dull pain that resided there. This was the fourth week in a row that he had spent in his office alone and the man was starting to get used to the dim and windowless walls around him. 

The tasks in front of him were extensive, they always were for his line of work and the process had become a force of habit lately for the man. It was easier that way, working himself into the ground in order to keep his mind off his deceased best friend and the mistakes he regretted every step of the way. 

Because in some sort of sick way the agent still believed that he was partly responsible for Odasaku’s death. Maybe not directly but he was a spy in the port mafia, he still betrayed Dazai and Oda by telling the government all their secrets, the ones that he promised to keep. He lied, he betrayed them in the worst possible way and Ango knew he didn’t deserve forgiveness. 

And then there was Asagao. 

It had been almost an entire year since he last saw her in person but the government check ups he ordered seemed to show that she was doing fine adjusting to Yokohama. 

And he promised himself that he would be there for her, that he would take on that brotherly/ paternal role that Oda couldn’t do anymore but who was he kidding? He wasn’t equipt for that kind of thing. He never liked kids, and now he was responsible for the most important thing in the universe? How could he possibly be worthy of such a thing? 

In a twisted way, he couldn't help but look at her as an atonement, a penance for his past crimes. Because maybe if he kept her safe then the universe would forgive him as well, maybe he could finally have a good night's rest without the consent guilt on his back. 

But he knew it was wrong to look at her that way, to only see her as a bargaining tool of his own psyche. How despicable of him. She had nothing to do with all of this. Asa was just a lost sixteen year old child that needed guidance. 

And though he was sure he wasn’t equipped for that, Ango knew he had to try. 

He couldn’t fail anyone else, especially Odasaku’s little sister  

Sighing to himself, Ango then reached his office door before opening the surface and pausing at the familiar sight of crimson across his vision. “Ah, there you are! I’ve been waiting for ages. This is bad Ango, this is really really really bad! You gotta help me!” 

Almost immediately, the man felt his mind turn blank with confusion, watching the frazzled and fidgety Asagao race up to him in clear distress. 

And though he should’ve focused on many things, the only thing that he could comprehend was her cry for help. 

Oh no, what could’ve happened? She looked so scared and helpless like this. Did someone try to hurt her? Did something happen that the government reports didn’t pick up on?!  

Ango then reached forward in order to place a firm hand on her shoulders and stop her jumpy body language. 

No, it didn’t matter what happened, he would fix it. He had to. Anything to make sure she was safe. “Asa..h-hey..it’s okay..what happened..?” 

The girl only shook her head though, causing Ango to grip onto her even tighter, a sense of dread in his voice. “It’s okay, you can tell me. Does it have something to do with Dazai?” 

Asagao then nodded her head sadly, causing the agent’s blood to boil. He knew this would happen, he knew that allowing her to hang around a destructive force like Dazai was a horrible idea. He could only imagine how he hurt her. 

That selfish little boy, how dare he hurt the last remaining piece of Oda in this world. He didn’t care if the two used to be friends, Ango wouldn’t  forgive him for ignoring his warnings. 

Just then, he saw her lips start to quiver in reply, Asagao’s hand moving up in order to weakly grasp onto his buttoned down work shirt as Ango leaned in closer with anxiety at the sound of her voice.”Ango..I..I..”

Feeling his heart twist and turn at the sound of her broken little tone, the agent frowned, ready to tear down the entire city in response. 

Oh my god, how bad could it be? What possible could’ve had her acting like this?

Ango’s mind then began to run rampant, already coming up with a list of people to call and documents to get in order to take Asagao away from Yokohama. Sure, it would be tricky but he could do it, he could get her away from..

Yet that’s when Asagao finished her sentence, a whine etched in her throat. “I missed Osamu’s birthday..!” 

…..what?

Almost immediately, the agent felt his mind stop, his own eyes blinking in disbelief as he tried to process the ridiculous statement. That’s what this was about? She wasn’t hurt, she wasn’t in danger? All of that, for a missed birthday? Oh, you have got to be kidding me. 

Forcing his hands to fall from her shoulders, Ango’s lingering headache seemed to return ten fold, his fingers reaching up to the sight with a groan. He really was worried for nothing. 

Although now that his panic had passed, more questions seemed to appear in his mind. “Hold on, how did you even get in here?” 

Asagao only turned her head in reply, like the answer was obvious. “Through the door, duh. You're so silly Ango, how else would I do it?” 

Ango deadpanned though, knowing it wasn’t that simple. “You know that’s not what I mean. This is a government owned building. There are extensive levels of security. You can’t just..” 

Realization seemed to flash on her face then, Asagao clapping her hands up before wiggling a finger in air quotes at the man’s direction. “Oh yeah! That reminds me, you should really look into that. It’s not as “secure” as you think it is.” 

At that, Ango couldn’t help but widen his eyes in horror. 

Wait, did that mean what he thought it meant? Did this girl just break into a high level government building and illegally gain access to his office just to tell him a stupid statement like that? Forgetting a birthday, that’s what constituted committing a literal crime?! 

She was insane, literally insane. What if she got caught, what if things didn’t go as planned? Then she would’ve been in prison for something so incredibly stupid. 

Feeling a sharp shiver run up his spine, Ango then looked at the goofy unbothered smile on her lips only to thank the gods that Asagao wasn’t evil or else he knew he would’ve been screwed. 

 To have her as an enemy, he imagined it was probably just as bad as having Dazai as an enemy. 

Asagao seemed to notice his disapproving stare though, her hands going up in defense before frowning. “Hey don’t look at me like that. I tried doing things legally but the people out front wouldn't let me in and this is really important, Ango! I couldn't wait!” 

The man only let his shoulders fall in defeat, already utterly exhausted from this conversion. He knew that she was spazzy and strange but this thought process was way more messed up then Odasaku ever was. She was like the man turned up to a million.  

If only her brother was here, because right now the agent felt like he was clearly in over his head. “I don’t even know where to begin with that statement..” 

Walking over to his desk, Ango stumped into the chair only for Asagao to turn around to place her hands on the surface in reply. “Come on Angoooo, we are getting off topic. I’m really at a loss here, that’s why I came to you in the first place. You’re the only grown up I know and I really need someone to talk to about this. Pleaseee?” 

Then to add dramatic effect, the girl practically draped herself over his desk in order to bat her eyes as innocently and sweetly as possible, making Ango’s heart hesitate with guilt. 

Damn it, why did she have to say that? Why did she need to bring up that he was the only reliable adult she had in her life? How could he possibly turn her away now? Even though her methods were foolish, scolding her wouldn’t change that she had searched him out. 

Sighing to himself, Ango then closed his eyes before speaking apprehensively. “Alright, fine. What do you mean you missed Dazai’s birthday?” 

Then almost immediately, Asagao’s expression brightened up in order for her to snap back up with a clap of excitement, almost like she had planned her pathetic little act purposely to make him cave.   

But that was crazy, right? 

Not giving him time to think though, Asa spoke. “Right, so we were talking and the conversation came up but then when I asked him about his birthday Osu said that it was six months ago. He told me not to worry about it but how can I? I’m his girlfriend and I couldn’t even have the decency to wish him a happy birthday. Ah, I’m the worst, aren’t I?” 

Yet Ango couldn’t help but catch something else in her explanation, red flags immediately going off as his head snapped up. “Hold on, didn’t you say that your relationship is in name only? You just called yourself his girlfriend.” 

The way she said it, it seemed so natural and that was something that worried Ango immediately. He was only okay with Dazai and Asa’s relationship if it was surface level. But this didn’t sound surface level anymore. And that scared him. 

He then watched the girl pause before shaking her head to will away the idea. “Girlfriend, fake girlfriend whatever..you’re missing the point, Ango. This isn’t about that. Anyways, like I was saying I just..”  

Ango only cut her off though only, his tone sharp. “You’re not getting attached are you?” 

Practically jumping in her skin, he then watched Asa hesitate once more before stuttering out a reply. “W-What, no. Of course not. Osamu and I aren’t like that. Our “relationship” is by convenience, that’s all. I told you that. We use each other to get closer to Oda.” 

Sure, that’s what she told him but relationships change. Surface level things become deeper without warning and that was something that Ango needed to shut down the moment he sensed it. 

And the way she was looking at Ango right now was the man's worst fear. Her voice cracked on the first part of her reply, which meant that he had struck something unknown. 

Not letting her wiggle out of this one, the man refused to break eye contact with her. “If that is the case, then why are you so worried about such a trivial thing?” 

Not understanding, Asa scoffed. “What are you talking about?” 

Yet Ango simply gave her the hard truth, whether she wanted it or not. “Dazai’s birthday has nothing to do with Odasaku. You know that, and yet you break into my office because of it. Why?” 

It was a flaw in her story, one that the man couldn’t help but notice. Because if Dazai and her were really using each other for convenience and for Oda’s memory then why had she broken into a government facility and risked imprisonment for something that had had nothing to do with their original promise?

Watching her stumble on her words, Asa filtered with her hands  “Well…because..”

Ango spoke over again though, his accusation throwing her completely off guard. “Asagao, please tell me you haven’t fallen for him.” 

That was his worst fear, for Dazai to latch his greedy little claws into her so much so that she could never escape. He could so easily wrap her around his finger and make her do unspeakable things with the guise of love and Asa would know none the wiser. 

He could wreck her, destroy her until she was a shell of herself and this poor girl would thank him for it. 

No, that couldn’t happen. If that was the case then he would have to go back to original plan and drag Odasaku’s sister out of Yokohama as quickly as possible. 

But it seemed like the idea hadn’t even crossed her mind, Asagao’s face immediately turning a bright red in order to flap her arms around in distress. “W-What?! No, no no it’s not like that. I haven’t..I didn’t even..that’s not...you're wrong. I just wanted to do something nice for him. You know, because of all the things he did for me.” 

And for Asagao, the agent’s acquisition wasn't something she could comprehend. What was he saying, that she was in love with Osamu? What kind of crazy idea was that? Of course it wasn’t like that. 

Love? How could she possibly be worthy of such a thing with him? He didn’t even know her. Sure, maybe they weren’t strangers anymore but Osamu didn’t have the connection that Asagao had. He didn’t have years worth of letters to go off of. 

He knew her from the last year they had been together but even Asa knew not to get carried away by their relationship. Osamu would never have the bond that she had for him, and that was okay. She didn’t expect him to. 

Ango was getting carried away, there was no way things could be like that. Osamu would never fall in love with a freak like her, she knew that. That’s why the idea had never crossed her mind. 

The way they were now, it was enough for her. 

She couldn’t expect more. 

Sucking in a heavy breath, Asa then closed her eyes in order to calm her erratic heartbeat before answering his question. “You asked me why I’m so worried about such a silly little thing? Well because it's important. That’s why. Everyone deserves to celebrate their birthday, even Osamu. Thinking that he let the day pass all alone, without anyone knowing, it doesn’t feel right..” 

Asagao then watched a vivid memory cross her closed eyes, causing her expression to crunch up with sadness. “Especially since I know what that’s like.” 

She could still remember the feeling, every holiday and day lingering past her each year as she sat alone in her room and read her brother’s letters for a sense of warmth. No, she didn’t want Osu to have to feel that, so lonely and insignificant. It was painful. 

And it seemed Ango even knew what she had meant by that statement, his stern gaze softly with painful guilt in order for his shoulders to slump with understanding. 

Perhaps he read this all wrong, she was just trying to do a good thing for his old friend. 

So much so, the agent then sighed to himself before standing from his desk in order to place a warm hand to Asa’s head with a reassuring smile “You don’t have to look so guilty about it. Dazai told you not to worry about it, right?”

He hated how personally she took such a small mistake, that she blamed herself for her inability to predict every little thing. It was the biggest flaw she had, burdening herself with everyone else’s problems and calling them her own. 

Although her topic of conversation still struck something interesting as well, Ango’s mind wandering back to their nights at Bar Lupin and finding a gap. “But now that I think about it, Dazai never brought up his birthday to Odaskau or me, not once.”

At that, Asa couldn’t help but look up. Now we were getting somewhere. “Why do you think he never brought it up?” 

Ango only shook his head though, not having the answers she was looking for. Odasaku was always better at reading that boy than him. “I don’t know, I imagine it just never interested him..”

The man then frowned before whispering mostly to himself. “I mean, for a kid so intent on dying, why would he want to celebrate another year of living?” 

Then all at once, Asagao felt her eyes widen in heartbreaking realization. She had never thought about that before but Ango was right. Osamu wanted to die, he wanted to leave this world by his own volition. That was his end goal. 

And the idea of a birthday was about the exact opposite. It was soaked in life and celebration, everything that Dazai Osamu absolutely despised. 

After his many suicide attempts, after the world rejected to take him, she was sure that his birthday was like the equivalent of a slap in the face. 

Because every year that passed was a failure to him, it marked another eternity stuck on this earth, almost like the day of his birth was continuing to mock him for being unable to finish the job. 

No wonder why he looked withdrawn when she mentioned it. Asa probably brought back that rejection tenfold without meaning to. That’s why he brushed it off and told her to drop it. 

Damn it, now she felt even worse than before. 

There had to be something she could do to make him feel better. 

Lowering her eyes in silent thought, Ango then broke through the silence, his words laced with warning. “I know that face. Stop it. I know you mean well but getting wrapped up in Dazai’s suicidal tendencies will do you no good. It will end in disaster and you're just going to get hurt like that.” 

Asa only shook her head though, hating that he was right. Osamu’s world was so dark and sad, laced with loneliness and misery she could never understand. His desire to die surely stemmed from a mix of horrible experiences and feelings that he kept locked tight to himself. 

Feeling her shoulders slump in defeat, the girl was at a loss. “I just want to help him, is that so bad?”

Ango only softened though, his hand landing on her shoulder with a sad smile. “No, it’s not. I want to also, but it’s not that simple. You have to understand that Dazai’s been like that for a long time, even longer than Odasaku or I have known him. Any attempt to fix what’s broken is long gone.” 

Asagao slumped her head down at that, her blurry uncertain eyes boring to the floor. 

She would never be able to understand it, not fully. What made him like this? 

Because while she saw the good and the possibilities of beauty Asa knew that Osamu was the complete opposite. His life had only provided him with awful memories, memories that have always been incomprehensible to her.

But even still, she couldn’t help but catch glimpses of his past every once and a while. The way he would become strangely quiet and stare out Oda’s window silently while she slept, the way his eyes would narrow in deep thought when they watched a movie or the way he would flitch and tense when she tried to touch anywhere but his bandages. 

Something in his life had broken him, far beyond repair. 

And Asagao wasn’t stupid, as knew that crying to him or begging the boy not to kill himself was pointless. He was too far gone for that. The idea of suicide had been ingrained into every one of his cells, suffocating him and making him see no other option. 

After years of suffering, how could she possibly change any of that? 

Still not wanting to believe it, Asa grasped for anything she could find, anything that would heal his broken mind. “But..I..” 

Yet that’s when Ango cut her off, his voice serious. “Asagao.”

Looking up from her spot on the floor, the agent finished sadly. “He doesn’t want to be saved.” 

And that broke the final straw of hope that she had, the girl crumbling down internally as her entire face fell.

Ango was right. Dazai didn’t want to be saved. This whole birthday thing was a part of a larger much deeper scale, one that she couldn’t fix no matter how hard she tried. 

But could it really be? Could she really not do anything? Even after he gave her so much, even after Osamu’s presence calmed her heart back home. 

Right now was she truly utterly useless to him? 

Searching for an answer, Asa whispered. “If my brother were still here, what would he have done?” 

Ango knew the answer immediately, although it wasn’t the one she wanted. “He would’ve dropped it. Odasaku knew better than to dive too deep into Dazai’s problems and so should you.” 

Drop it? Really? Oda saw this sad broken little boy and he just ignored his problems? He never brought it up or tried to fix it, not once? He pretended like they weren’t there and went on drinking with Dazai like nothing was wrong? How could he stand that? 

Shaking her head, something about that sentence didn’t seem right. “But that’s what everyone else in his life has done. That’s what he’s grown up with, that’s what he probably expects..” 

Just then, Asagao paused, the words getting lost in her throat before her eyes widened with realization. “I get it.”

Why hadn’t she seen it before? Why didn’t she realize that? How could she have been so stupid? Oh, she needed to get to work quickly. There wasn’t much time. 

Then Ango watched the red haired kid immediately turn towards the door only for him to chase after her. What did that mean? She wasn’t about to do something dangerous, was she? 

Because that was something he wasn’t going to allow. “Wait, where are you going now?” 

Turning around immediately, Asagao answered back, her voice rushed and manic, like she was trying to process her thoughts by the second. “You’re right, Ango. Empty words mean nothing to him, and maybe backing off would be easier but that’s not going to fix anything. Telling him not to die, that’s not what he’s looking for.”  

Ango still looked completely lost though, causing Asagao to groan in frustration before connecting the dots for him. “Don’t you see? Osamu doesn’t want to be saved, he wants to be noticed.” 

Lifting her hands out in explanation, Oda’s sister continued. “How many years has Osu been alone, how many times has he let his birthday pass because he simply believes that no one will care and no one will hear him? He’s given up because he realized that it’s easier for everyone else to ignore him than to acknowledge his suffering..” 

Of course, of course that’s what it was. He didn’t want someone to pull him from the ledge, he wanted someone to notice that he went up to the roof in the first place. How many years had he been ignored, looked over, and passed off because of his inability to be understood? 

So much so that at some point down the line, Osamu stopped calling out, he stopped waiting for someone to see him and just buried himself in the darkness, not seeing a point in trying anymore. 

That’s why he didn’t bring up his birthday, because he thought that no one would care, that no one would ever acknowledge the fact that he was alive and struggling with the wish not to be. 

Oh, how lonely and isolating that must have been for him, to have given up hope. 

The ideology that her brother and Ango shared, it was only part of the problem. Ignoring his pain wasn’t going to make it go away. 

And perhaps acknowledgment it wouldn’t fix it either, but at least it would show Dazai that she was looking at him, that she saw him. 

He wasn’t alone, she would walk right beside him for as long as she was able. 

Because of that, for the first time in her life, Asagao couldn’t agree with her brother’s choice. ”But I will always acknowledge it, I won’t ignore it like my big brother. I refuse to let him suffer alone.” 

Balling her hands into fists with determination, the girl then turned around in order to leave only to hear Ango’s voice once more. “Why? Why are you pushing yourself so hard for him? Dazai isn’t the kind of person that would ask you to do this.”

Asagao only nodded her head though fully aware of that. “I know.”

She knew Osamu wouldn’t have expected such a thing for her, but that’s why she had to do it more than anything else. Because he was worth it, and although he may have not believed it, he deserved only the absolute best in life. 

So what if he never outwardly cried out for help? That just made his desperate silence even more prominent. 

Ango then watched Oda’s sister pause by the door, her hand on the side of the frame as her next words caused a ring of newfound clarity to appear in his eyes.

“But those are the kinds of people that need it the most.” 

--------

Turning the lock to Odasaku’s apartment, Dazai happily skipped inside in order to throw his usual black jacket on the floor and kick off his shoes with a holler. “Asa-chan! Your favorite person is here!” 

Almost as if on cue, the girl herself came racing to the entryway, her face the epitome of sunlight as she waved towards him. “Oh, Osu! You’re just in time. I’m almost done with dinner.” 

Dazai only hummed at that, already making his way towards the table in the corner as his stomach grumbled with reply. 

He never liked eating before but ever since he visited Asa’s place more frequently the boy found himself looking forward to whatever would be waiting for him. 

Settling down at his usual spot, Dazai placed his hands onto the table before hearing the soft humming from Asa as she moved through the kitchen causing the boy to close his eyes in contentment.

He hated how relaxed he was in this mutate and normal atmosphere. It contrasted the cold port mafia basement he had that spend the first half of his day in.

In fact, it was like night and day, the boy finally able to un-tense his shoulders and breathe for the first time in hours.

Although that’s when he heard Asa’s voice from the kitchen, just as sweet as always. “Hey, Osamu. Can you do me a favor and close your eyes for a sec? I wanna show you something.” 

Lifting his head up with amusement, the boy called back, fully intent on teasing her. “So bold, Asa-chan. You plan on attacking me while I’m defenseless? Although now that I think about it, dying by your beautiful fingers wouldn’t be a bad way to go so I'll allow it.. “

Then as promised, Dazai closed his eyes, leaning back on his arms as wistfully thought about that possibility. He wasn’t kidding when he said he wouldn’t have minded her killing him tonight.

Usually the boy wouldn’t have let his guard down like this with anyone but on the off chance that Asa did betray him the executive knew he’d be okay with it. At least he would die in this nice warm place.

Perhaps she would hum for him while she did it also? That sounded like the prefect way to die. 

He then vaguely heard Asagao’s footsteps sound around him before hearing the light behind him click off before she spoke again, anxiety in her tone. “Alright, open them!” 

Dazai then did as she asked, opening his eyes before the soft glow of a tiny flame welcomed him, only to look down to find a small circular strawberry cream filled cake below it. But what was this? 

Looking up with confusion, the boy then opened his lips only for Asagao to speak above him, her voice rising to a sing-songy tone. “Happy Late Birthday, Osamu!” 

And almost instantly the boy was stunned, Dazai not knowing what to say only for Asa to continue in his place. “I know, I know what you’re going to say. But I already missed way too many of your birthdays’ I couldn’t miss another one.” 

He then watched her hesitate before reaching underneath her in order to pull out a stack of colorful folded construction paper in order to place it on the table. “Besides, who knows how many of them you’ll be around for before you go. That’s why we should treat every single one as special.”

Then the girl simply slid the stack over to Dazai with a shaky nervous smile as the boy picked up the first one on the pile with confusion. Just what was her plan, and why did she look so anxious for him to look at these? 

Although Dazai got his answer the moment he opened the paper, his eyes greeted by a homemade drawing with big huge bubble letters and a short message underneath. 

----

Happy 1st Birthday, Osamu

I'm glad you were born.

----

Feeling his fingers turn numb, the boy then quickly closed the sight before immediately reaching for another folded paper, this time in the middle of the stack. No, it couldn’t be. These weren’t, they couldn’t be..

----

Happy 13th Birthday Osamu

This is the year I first heard about you from Oda’s letters and I wouldn’t have in any other way. You gave me so much hope and wonderful feelings. You may have seen this day as a failure but I’m glad you made it another year so I could know who you are. 

-----

They were. They were birthday cards. Counting the folded pieces of paper immediately, the boy gasped. Sixteen, there were sixteen cards, one to represent every single year she wasn’t there. She made these for him. 

Not knowing how to process the gesture, Dazai stared dumbfounded at the brightly colored pieces of paper. Asa went through so much effort for him, why? He told her to drop it. He wasn’t expecting her to care this much. 

No one ever cared this much. 

Not knowing if he wanted to continue and yet feeling the desperation to even so, the boy then reached for the final one in the stack with a shaky breath of uncertainty. 

-----

Happy 16th Birthday Osamu 

I know you want me to forget that I missed your birthday but I simply can’t do that, Osu. Because this is the first year I have the honor of saying to you in person. All the other times I silently spoke it through the letters but this time I’m going to get it right. So, here it goes. 

I know how you probably look at this day. You see the failure, the mockery of another year alive but the time we spent together this past year has been a gift to me.

The things that you despise like your very existence or even waking up in the morning to see another day, I can't help but be grateful for them because it means I get the privilege of sharing my life with you for just a little bit longer. 

And just as I cherish them, I hope you do too. So much so then when you do finally leave this world you may realize that not everything in life was bad. That someone noticed you when you thought no one ever would. 

You are the most important thing to me, Osamu. 

Thank you for being alive another year.  

----

Once he was done reading, Dazai remained silent, his eyes glued to the page as a heavy wave of emotion coursed through him. It made his throat close up and his chest ache with unspeakable pain by the second. 

No one had ever thanked him for being alive before. 

These letters, she wasn’t trying to get him to live, she wasn’t shaming his desire to die. No, she had acknowledged his wish and yet thanked him for it. 

God, he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was dying from his own faltering body. What was wrong with him? Why was his hands shaking on these cards, why was his eyes stinging with pain and his throat closing up against his will? 

Asagao on the other hand watched his reactions with anxiety, her fingers flittering under the table before standing up in order to get the rest of dinner. 

Perhaps her cards didn’t do much but it was worth a shot, at least he knew she was thinking about him now. 

Yet that’s when she felt two arms reach around her waist, pulling her backwards into Dazai’s chest as he buried his messy brown hair into her shoulder in order to hide his expression. 

His grip was firm and tight, unable to let her move or turn around, almost like it was on purpose so she couldn’t see his weak and fathering display from just behind her.

 Asa didn’t mind though, allowing her body to still as she felt him squeeze her midsection in a silent thank you for not pushing it.

How could she break his rules when he was holding her with such warmth and desperation? She couldn’t, not when he was showing her such a fragile side to himself. 

And this was the first time without the blindfold that she had been allowed to witness the crumbling inner boy that was Dazai Osamu. 

Of course she couldn’t see him given their position but she could feel his hands and the trembling frantic hold he had as he tried to tether her to the world. 

Asagao didn’t argue with that though, happy to be his anchor of hope that life could be a tiny bit better than what it was. He could cling to her as long as he needed to and as tightly as he desired because she wasn’t going anywhere. Not ever. 

So much so, the girl then lifted her hand up before lightly touching the hands that were holding her, her fingers tracing over the bare skin as Osamu twitched at the contact before allowing her to rest her palm on top of his lovingly and in absolute silence. 

They stood like that for what seemed like forever, listening to each other's shaky breath before Dazai finally muttered under her shoulder. “You think of something too.” 

Not understanding, Asa’s hand fell from his before shifting her head in confusion. What was he saying? What was she supposed to think about? 

Yet that’s when Osamu spoke again, his head lifting from the safety of her shoulder. “I missed all your birthdays also. So think of something you want to make up for them.” 

Feeling her eyes to flash with realization, Asa immediately felt her lips curve into a warm smile. He was trying to meet her halfway, wasn’t he? How sweet. The scary demon prodigy wanted to get her a birthday gift. 

Although, just the thought was enough for her, not wanting to step on any toes. “Oh, thank you but I couldn't possibly want anything. Just being with you is enough.” 

Dazai only frowned though, immediately twisting his hands around in order to flip the girl so that she was facing him. Why couldn’t she make this easy? He was trying to do something nice for the first time in his life and she wasn’t giving him any ideas. 

He couldn’t just live with her choice. Giving her nothing would’ve been like a slap in the face considering the care and time she put into him. 

There had to be something she had wanted, something that he could provide.

Yet that’s when his mind flashed back to the couple days ago only for his face to light up with twisted realization. There was one thing he knew she was interested in, something she kept asking him about…

Putting his hands on her shoulders, Dazai then smiled in sick joy before speaking. “Aw come on, Asa-chan. I think we both know that’s not true, there is something you want, something you’ve been bugging me about.” 

The then boy paused speaking the words he knew Asagao wouldn’t be able to resist. 

 “How would you like to play with my dog again?” 

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai #dazai x reader #dazai bsd #dazai x odasaku!sister #bungo stray dogs odasaku #odasaku sakunosuke #oda sakunosuke #odasaku #ango sakaguchi #bsd ango #a03 fanfic #fanfiction #ao3fic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3

[ashleyh713fanfics]

"Timeless"

(Dazai x Odasaku's Little Sister) Masterlist

Summary: A week after Odasaku's death, Dazai Osamu is left with his friend's last wish in the back of his mind and no way to start. Oda told him to be a "good person" but how does someone become one when they don't even know what the mere concept is? With no clue and no direction, the boy couldn't find an answer. If only his best friend was there to guide him, if only he didn't disappear completely.

That is until he realizes that he was wrong... that not every piece of Odasaku is gone from this world.

(Disclaimer: This story is set in a slight AU where Odasaku's death and other points in Dazai's childhood are moved up to when he is fifteen for plot purposes)

A03 Version

Wattpad Version

Tumblr Chapter List:

Chapter 1: “Just As Long As You Pull The Trigger”

Chapter 2: "I Could Go For Some Curry"

Chapter 3: "Looks Like You Can Make Those Expressions"

Chapter 4: "Makes Me Wanna Play Around With You"

Chapter 5: "Suddenly Dying Didn't Seem So Easy"

Chapter 6: "Why Don't We Go On A Date?"

Chapter 7: "As Long As I Have You In My Life"

Chapter 8: "I'll Be Here To Welcome You"

Chapter 9: "You Are Not A Good Man"

Chapter 10: "Maybe With You This Could Be Home."

Chapter 11: "Quit Trying To Be Odasaku"

Chapter 12: "The Scariest Thing Is To Be Perceived"

Chapter 13: "Celebrating Life Is Stupid"

Chapter 14: "He Doesn't Want To Be Saved"

Chapter 15: "She's Not Like You"

Chapter 16: "The Misfortune Of Being Dazai's Girlfriend."

Chapter 17: "Here To Save The Princess

Chapter 18: "Friends With A Freak Like You"

Chapter 19: "Why Don't We Kiss And Find Out?"

COMING SOON

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #bsd writing #bsd #dazai bsd #dazai x female reader #dazai x reader #chuuyabsd #chuuya fifteen #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #bungou stray dogs chuuya #dazai #port mafia #dazai x odasaku!sister #bungo stray dogs odasaku #odasaku sakunosuke

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister CH13

Chapter 13: "Celebrating Life Is Stupid”

Summary: After reuniting and growing closer, Dazai and Oda’s sister truly realize the value of each other and the sad bandaged boy falls deeper into the dangerous fascination and infatuation that is Odasaku’s little sister.

Warnings: pm!sixteen year old Dazai, pm! sixteen year old chuuya, ginger is very angry, Suicide mentions, guns, manipulation on both sides, Odasaku death mentions, Dazai being a Simp, Dazai being the demon prodigy but also baby at the same time.

(This is chapter thirteen of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro (Broken up because the first ch is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 6k total

—-

Tapping his feet in already brewing annoyance, Chuuya pushed his phone closer to his ear as each ear grating ring pissed him off by the second. And honestly, by the third one he debated throwing the entire object into the wall next to him in a fit of frustration.

He knew that little mackerel was doing this on purpose, sending his calls to voicemail over and over again. That guy never had anything notable going on and he knew the boss was gonna have his ass if he didn’t get in contact with that little shit.

But fortunately, or rather unfortunately for him, the line picked up on the fifth ring only to hear that same happy go lucky, irritating sing-song tone he alway seemed to use.

He hated that sound more than anything, mostly because the ginger he was about to be made fun of. “Oh Chuuuuuya, what an impatient little dog you are, blowing up my phone like this. Can't get enough of me I see.”

Gritting his teeth to hold his outburst, Chuuya simply scoffed. “Shut up, it's your own damn fault for not picking up. I know you are doing it on purpose, you shitty little mackerel.”

The voice on the other hands only hummed though, obviously unbothered. “So rude, Chuuuya, assuming such things. I am actually very busy right now. Which is why your interruption is way less pleasant than usual. And that’s saying something, considering your presence is never pleasant.”

Chuuya knew better though. “Bullshit, you’re never busy. You’re probably just fucking around somewhere.”

Just then, he heard a fake ass gasp on the side of the phone only for Dazai to answer straightforwardly. “If you call “fucking around” me currently pinning down a beautiful woman then I suppose you're right about that. Isn’t that right, love?”

Almost immediately, the ginger felt bile work its way into his throat, shoving the feeling down before shouting back roughly. “Ah, you’re so fucking disgusting! I don’t wanna know about that shit.”

Oh my god, why did he have to bring up that kind of stuff?! The last thing he wanted to do was picture shitty stupid Dazai like that, especially with some nonamed whore or brain dead manipulated bitch.

That poor soul that was with him right now, the one Dazai just called love, he pitied her, whoever she was.

Forcing the idea from his mind, Chuuya then shook his head before adding. “Listen, the boss gave us another mission in a couple days and I wanna make sure you don’t try to ditch again or else I’m gonna kill you for real, got that?!”

He knew the kid’s pattern after all, Chuuya knew how flighty and unreliable that stupid mackerel really was and he wanted to make sure that he wasn’t going to get dragged into that again. The first time he flaked was bad enough.

But as expected, Dazai didn’t sound serious, he didn’t even sound remotely interested in his threats as the boy simply waved the question away. “Don’t worry slug, I’ll be there. Can’t have my dog getting lonely, now can I?”

At that name, Chuuya felt his anger spike, the boy unable to stop his outburst. What was his damn problem?! “You fuckin…I’m not a dog!!’

Dazai’s voice only came back confused though, his voice just as annoying, cheerful and mocking as usual. “How strange, all I can hear is woof woof woof so I’m gonna hang up now! See ya, Chibi.”

And just like that, the line turned dead, causing the ginger’s eye to twitch before tightening his hold on his phone before giving into the impulse and throwing the object against the wall next to him.

Watching the phone shatter to prices before his eyes, Chuuya then shook his head before grumbling out his frustrations to absolutely no one.

“I’m gonna kill him..”

——-

Closing his flip phone absentmindedly, Dazai simply smiled to himself before placing the object back into his pants pocket only to hear the voice underneath him speak out hopefully. “Was that Chuuya?”

The boy only shook his head though, pushing his foot further into the speakers chest in order to shove his enemy further into the ground roughly. “Don’t sound so happy about it. That slug shouldn’t gain such a reaction.”

His opponent only put her hands out in defense though, turning her head curiously to the side with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

Dazai expected that kind of response though, his eyes moving up in order to glance around the familiar port mafia owned warehouse that they had spent the last hour or so before she spoke again.

And this time, it was far more pushy than before. “Sooo, what did he say?”

Already feeling his lips twist into a bitter smirk, Dazai’s foot then pushed deeper into her chest, exulting double the amount of force in order for her to stop speaking. “Those aren’t the kinds of things you should be worried about, Asa-chan, considering the position you're in right now..”

Which was something that Asagao seemed to be missing in her tiny little brain considering he was currently pinning her down to the dirty and dusty warehouse floor by his foot. He clearly had the upper hand here so there was no reason for her to speak so casually.

That, and the fact that she was asking about Chuuya of all people in this sort of dangerous position caused Dazai’s sick and twisted port mafia heart to darken with malice. He was the one she was supposed to be focusing on, not that glorified hat rack.

She was at the mercy of the demon prodigy and she was acting like they were talking about the weather. He wanted her to regret ever asking about that hat rack in the first place, to apologize between his fingers for not taking his presence seriously and speaking of another so foolishly.

Then to prove his point, the boy reached into his pocket before taking out his gun in order to point the barrel straight at her head with silent warning.

It was a move that would make any one shutter and cower immediately. In fact, it was something he used a million times before to intimate each and everyone of his enemies.

But he had already learned that Asagao didn’t play by the rules of his other opponents.

Turning her head in confusion, the girl simply looked at the foot that was constricting her breathing before returning to the demon with a gentle smile of unbothered idiocy. “Oh, I’m not worried.”

And for a moment, Dazai paused, playing her game. “And why’s that, love?”

He wanted to see what she’d say, how she would justify her calm and collected behavior even though she was staring down the barrel of his gun. Yes, Asagao had outwardly said that she wasn’t afraid of dying by his hand but she wasn’t even trying to get out of it.

And he knew she could, he knew that the hellhound could fight back him if she so chose, so the fact that she was allowing Dazai to pin her down like this was interesting to say the least.

This girl, she was seconds from death and still her eyes held not one bit of urgency.

A moment later, Asagao spoke, her voice full of nostalgic memory as she reached forward in order to pull the barrel closer to her chest. “Because this is how we met, remember?”

Almost immediately, Dazai’s mind seemed to snap back to their first encounter almost an entire year ago. Huh, she was right. They had been in this position before, hadn’t they?

Back when the boy was drowning in his grief, back when he found an intruder in his friend's old place and threatened them in the same exact manner.

If only he knew how utterly life changing that little meeting had been, what kind of storm erupted from the moment he tore that hoodie off her head and looked into her Odasaku eyes.

And it was the same now, the boy looking down at her glasses free expression in order to catalog and trace the iris silently to himself. He seemed to do that a lot lately, getting lost in the emptiness as it swallowed him whole each and every time.

He was grateful for it also, knowing that the dullness of her eyes was way more welcoming then the darkness of his own soul, that by having her here he had switched the method of his demise.

Yes, drowning in Asagao was much more tolerant than drowning in his grief.

A sweeter way to die indeed, a more pleasant experience than what he ever deserved, and yet Dazai couldn’t stop himself from staring even so.

So much so, Dazai felt his lips twist upwards in familiar memory before his finger carefully cocked the gun with a dark chuckle. “Oops. You’re right, how silly of me. Let’s continue where we left off then, hmm?”

Then without a second thought, the executive pulled the trigger as a loud shot echoed through the warehouse. And most people would’ve been horrified by such a reaction, they would have regretted aiming at something he just so clearly said that he admired.

But you see, Dazai didn’t underestimate his girlfriend, not one bit.

Casually putting his hand down on his side, the mafioso then smirked to himself before turning around only to find his enemy a couple feet away, her hands on her hips. “Damn, you really tried to shoot me. I’m surprised and a little impressed, demon prodigy.”

Dazai only shrugged his shoulders though, unbothered. “Well, you told me to look at you as a threat, did you not, Asa-chan?”

It was conversation that was very prevalent in his mind, even today. Sure, the boy should’ve taken their fights easy, he should’ve sparred in a way that made sure Oda’s sister was safe but that wasn’t his style, and neither was hers.

No, Dazai treated her like a real threat, just like she deserved, he trusted that she was smart enough to anticipate his moves and counteract, like just right now.

And the fact that she had done just that also proved his theory that she could’ve gotten out his hold at any time.

What a sneaky shady little hellhound she was. He was onto her big time.

Then as if to prove his internal analysis, he watched Asagao’s face twist into that same twisted, psychotic and giddy smile that enticed him time and time again before watching her fingers twitch in unkept adrenaline just by that simple phrase.

And Dazai would never understand the power his acknowledgment had on her. That just by giving her his entire strength she was already antsy to match it. The hellhound training that had been embedded into her since she was a child, it coated and clouded every other single thought in her brain.

Pushing her fingers up to the ponytail that held her unruly crimson mane in place, Asagao then chuckled darkly before practically ripping the restraint in order to let her hair free.

And with that simple move, she had also ripped down the chains that held the monstrous creature beneath the surface, unafraid of the response it would give. “Oh Samu, you know just how to rile a girl up, don’t you? You’re right about that one, I am a threat. Now allow me to live up to your potential of me and show you how..”

And Dazai loved it, he loved that crazed beast-like look more than anything, his stance grounding itself immediately only to find that his enemy had disappeared in front of his eyes. Ah, she was using her time stopping ability. How cute.

Turning the safety off his gun, the boy then narrowed his eyes before sensing a change of wind to the right in order to let off three more shots just as Asagao reappeared millimeters from his face.

She seemed to register the bullets just in time, her body rolling to the ground in order to just miss the dangerous attacks as Dazai smirked in admiration.

And let’s be honest, should he have been pointing that gun at her like this? No. Should he have been directing his shots with the intent to kill. Also no. It was insanely risky and if she was even second too late then he would have the blood of another Oda on his hands.

Which was something the boy wrestled with internally but it seemed like his port mafia blood craved the opposite, to see just what amazing and enticing ways she could get out each deadly situation he threw at her.

And that desire, that allure was stronger than his fear to keep her locked away forever. No, she had a power, and it was too enticing to ignore, especially for the twisted mafioso who was looking for something entertaining.

He was then taken out of his thoughts as a rough hand wrapped around the barrel of his gun in order to pull it forward without fear as Asagao smirked in victory.

It didn’t matter that the chamber was loaded, it didn’t matter that his fingers were on the trigger and any slight movement could cause the end of her life.

Asa’s grip remained firm, her leg barreling into his side in order for Dazai's muscles to jump and his finger to loosen from the trigger just as she pulled it into her line of sight.

And once the cool metal was in her hands, Dazai wondered what she’d do with it, his senses on high alert only to watch the girl simply empty out the chamber of bullets with one hand, the quiet clinking of metal catching his attention immediately.

How dare she, she had the shot and didn’t take it.

Unsatisfied by her actions, the mafioso then darkened before the boy predicted her next strike in order to grab onto her fist roughly and twist it unnaturally behind her back with a huff.

No, she needed to know that she wasn’t as sly as she thought. That he was onto her little game. “Since you’re all riled up, does that mean you’ll stop holding back now too?”

He wondered how she would react to that, if she would lie about his little discovery or own up to her hypocrisy wholeheartedly? Either could be possible, considering she hadn’t disclosed to him outwardly about her watered down battles.

Asagao told him herself back in Bar Lupin that she was a prodigy just like him, that she could murder like a high level assassin and kill with the quickest of hands.

But if that was true then why hadn’t she tried that with him yet? Why hadn’t Asa displayed intent to kill with Dazai if she was so strongly in favor for believable fights?

It didn’t make sense, and he wanted to know why.

And for a moment, she felt her body still underneath his rough touch, as if she really had to think about his words. He seemed to have broken into something personal for her.

Interesting, she wasn’t denying it. But hold on, was she saying that he couldn’t handle her full hellhound side? That he was some kind of fragile little boy who wouldn't stand a chance? Did she forget that he was in the mafia, the youngest executive in the history of the organization?

She didn’t need to worry about such a thing, besides if that was the result Dazai knew he wouldn’t have opposed. So instead, he coaxed her some more. “Come on, Asa-channn. You’re no fair. I wanna die, remember?”

But even still, Asagao didn’t seem convinced, her body unmoving and eyes closing before he felt her physically shiver underneath his touch, almost like she was reliving some kind of unpleasant memory.

Something scared her, enough to cause such a visceral reaction.

Then Dazai watched as Asagao’s head slumped down into herself, her voice strained and bitter, a tone that the boy had never heard from her before. “I don’t kill anymore, I don’t want to be that person again..

Those words, they felt big, like a massive weight had just fallen on both of their shoulders. But why? What did they mean? What kind of person was she when she killed? What was she like when she truly allowed the hellhound side to fully overtake her? He wanted to ask her.

Yet before he could process that sentence, Asa used his apprehension in order to kick his shin and shift her body around, grabbing onto his forearm before flipping the skinny thin boy backwards over her shoulder.

Feeling his body slam against the ground, the girl then moved on top of him, reversing their previous position with a wave of her finger. “Besides that would be a pretty painful way to go, don’t you think?.”

His entire head began to spin instantly, both from the hit and from her change in attitude. Now she was happy, playful and just as carefree as before. There was no sign of that bitter suffocation that he had heard at all.

Which meant only one thing, she was covering it up.

But to be completely honest, every single thought he had seemed to drown out completely as he looked up at the towering force above him.

Her long messy hair was blanketed over her, shielding the two of them in a cave of her own design as she stared down with that same alluring dead eyed stare that he had admired before.

And not only that, the dim, dingy warehouse lights behind her seemed to melt around her head, bathing her in an ethereal light of some kind, something that made the boy’s heart flip unexpectedly and without warning.

God, she looked like an angel like this, so perfect, so heavenly.

Yet whether she resembled an angel of life or death was to be decided. Perhaps this was a sign from some unknown force, telling him that Oda Asagao would either be the beginning or the end of him.

Perhaps she would be the last thing he would see before leaving this world peacefully or perhaps she would carry him to the afterlife and into the pits of hell with her siren song and her dangerous words. He didn’t know.

He was playing with fire after all, selfish by staying by her side even though he shouldn’t have been allowed to. He was clouding her white light, binding her wings and making her fall to meet his level just because he couldn’t bear to be lonely.

How cruel he truly was, to not have the heart to set her free. It was too late now, the demon and the fallen angel, their fates had been sealed whether he liked it or not.

Reaching his fingers up, Dazai then ghosted across a strand of her falling hair before turning his head in curiosity. “Touché. Well, since you know so much let me ask you, love. What do you think is the most beautiful way to die?”

He wanted to know her answer, more than anyone before. Because he knew that she would answer honestly. She wouldn’t brush it off or disregard the meaning like everyone else.

Dying was a touchy subject it seemed, because although the boy craved it more than anything, it seemed whenever he brought up his little sad goal, no one ever gave him the answer he was looking for.

He didn’t want to be comforted or to hear that there was no beautiful way of death. No, he wanted perspective, real and true perspective. To see what constituted beauty for others, what that meant in terms of what he was searching for.

Because as much as he wished for peace and beauty in death, the boy didn’t know exactly what that meant. How strange it always was, searching for something so desperately even though he didn’t know the true extent of the meaning.

Waiting with bated breath, Dazai allowed her to silently think before the girl put a finger with a quiet and pensive hum. ““Hmmm, that’s a tough one..”

Then she closed her eyes before her lips curved into a confident beam of light. “I guess I would have to say a lovers suicide!”

And that light was blinding, mixing in with the makeshift halo behind her in order for Dazai to turn his head in confusion.He had never thought about that before. Hell, he didn’t even know the term. How curious. “Lovers suicide?”

Nodding to herself, Asa then lifted her pinky finger out in explanation. “Yeah, like a double suicide, you know? Because even if you deemed that the world was awful, you would still have to admit that there was at least one person that made the experience worth it, enough to want to follow them all the way to the afterlife.”

Then to prove her point, the girl simply reached down before interlocked Dazai’s pinky finger with her own, a small smile of her lips as the boy gazed at the sight in awestruck wonder.

Of course she would say something like that. Only Asagao could answer a question about death so hopefully and tragically captivating. Her desire to see the good, to twist the narrative into a positive one, they were extremely prevalent here.

But for once, Dazai didn’t mind it, he liked the idea of having someone to die with. The thought had never crossed his mind before, to have someone to treasure you enough to want to follow you until the very end. It sounded nice. Almost beautiful even, just like he wanted.

Testing out the words on his tongue, the boy whispered. “A double suicide..”

Nodding once, Asa pulled their interlocked pinkies towards her heart in reply. “Yeah! It’s romantically tragic in its own right, don’t you think?”

It was, it really was. In fact, it was so tragically perfect that Dazai knew he would’ve never had thought of such a thing himself. Simply because he wouldn't have allowed himself to think of something so nice and positive.

But now that it was spoken into the world, it couldn’t be forgotten. “I’ve never thought about that before. Do you really think someone would want to do that with me?”

Could it be, could someone really dedicate themselves to him to that extent, enough to give up everything, to walk hand and hand with him to the end of the line? No, that was impossible, no one wanted him, especially in that way.

Asa only shrugged her shoulders though. “You never know! Doesn’t hurt to ask.”

Then all at once, clarity seemed to flash in his eyes. “You’re right..”

That’s it, he just had to ask every woman he saw, then maybe one day he’d get lucky.

Reaching forward, Dazai then shifted his hands in order to grasp onto her wrist before meeting her eyes with a hopeful smile. “Hey Asa-chan! Do you wanna..”

Yet Asagao seemed to already know where he was going with his question, her hand immediately unlatching from his in order to playfully shove her palm into his face and push him back onto the ground. “Sorry Osu, I would do a lot of things for you but killing myself won’t bring me closer to my brother. The only death I’ll accept is one by your hand.”

Damn it, she had said that before, hadn’t she? Ah well, worth a shot.

Throwing his arms out with a child-ish whine, Dazai then pouted his lips at the rejection. “Boo, you give me such a good idea and then turn me down? That’s not very nice. I’m sad now.”

Asagao only laughed though, her tiny giggles taking up the space of his question before pointing a finger out in an offer of her own. “Well, we can’t have that. Oh, I know. How about we stop by the shop on the way home and I’ll buy you some canned crab to make up for it?”

And although it wasn’t what he wanted, her offer enticed him just as much, the boy’s eyes sparkling with pure joy in order to nod his head excitedly.

“Deal!”

——

Stepping through the door of Odasaku’s apartment, Asagao happily turned on the light, the plastic bag full of canned crab clinking together as she moved, only for Dazai to quickly take off his black mafia jacket and throw it on the ground.

And in the past couple weeks of them reuniting, the girl noticed Osamu's childish traits more and more, an action that made her strangely happy. Sure, she still wasn’t sure if he was being completely authentic but she couldn't deny that he at least looked more free when he did them.

In fact, their relationship had grown exponentially since the night Asa cared for him and took off his bandages. She was worried that by pushing that much she would’ve scared him away but it seemed to be the opposite, and for that she was grateful.

Now he came over whenever he pleased, without excuse, and without worry. She would make sure he ate and they would watch TV together and sometimes they would go out to spar like tonight. If anything, the two had definitely moved past the term strangers and into more of a friendship based relationship.

They understood each other, most of the time without words, and that was refreshing to both of them, considering no one else could do such an impossible thing. They were alike and yet so different depending on the circumstance. It was almost fascinating to think about.

She had never had that before, someone that understood so much with so little.

And where most people would call it invasive, Asagao saw his nosey and deductive attitude as a marvel. Although, she wasn’t sure if he felt the same way, considering she stepped out of boundaries before.

But those days seemed long gone as the girl turned back to Osamu only to pause when she noticed discolored tan stains on the bandages around his arms. Well, that was weird.

Reaching her hand up, Asagao then lightly touched his forearm, careful to keep her touch on the gauze as she inspected the source. “What is this?”

Although all she received was a boy-ish smile, filled with fake innocence. “Coffee?”

Almost immediately, something about his sentence seemed off, causing Asa to cock an eye with suspicion. “I didn’t even know you drank coffee..”

Then all at once, the boy nodded his head erratically, his lips moving at a mile a minute in order to give an over the top laugh. “Oh, yeah! I love it, I can’t get enough of it. That’s why I spilled some on me this morning. Oops, I’m so clumsy, aren’t I? Didn’t even notice it till now.”

Pouting his lips all at once, Dazai then whined to himself dramatically. “But now that you mention it, it feels really gross, like super uncomfortable. Asa-chan, you gotta save me! I don't know how I can go on like this..!”

His story was strange, considering she had never heard him speak about liking coffee before, nor did he ever choose that as his drink of choice. Usually it was just whiskey and any other alcohol he could get his hands on.

And what Asagao didn’t know was that she was completely right. In fact, Dazai had never touched the stuff before this morning. He didn’t love coffee, but the reason he had bathed himself in it was purposeful.

You see, ever since the first night Asagao changed his bandages, Dazai couldn’t get enough. He wanted that feeling back, the one that made him feel so safe and cared for. He couldn’t get it out of his head, and trust me, he had tried.

Which led him to taking matters into his own hands, aka finding ways to dirty his bandages so that he would have an excuse to give Asagao the next time he saw her.

At first it started with blood, making sure to purposely hurt his enemies in the most messy way possible in order to soil the white gauze, but then it moved to other things such as alcohol, and rolling around in dirt or dunking himself in nearby rivers.

And today’s plan involved coffee. He had gotten the idea when he saw one of his subordinates walk around the corner with one. So naturally, he ordered the guy to give it up in order to pour the lukewarm liquid on his arms with delightful glee.

Anything to get Asa to touch him like that again, to feel so important and special again. Was it underhanded? Possibly, but the boy knew he couldn’t just come out and ask for such an embarrassing thing.

Staying silent for a moment, he then watched as Asagao seemed to turn his wrist, examining the sight before she let him go with a smile. “I’ll go get the bandages. Meet you on the couch.”

And just like that, he had won yet again, causing the boy to practically skip to the plush cushions of the sofa, unable to hide his delight in song as he watched her go into Oda’s bedroom to receive the first aid kit. “Yay! Asa-chan is gonna help me, she’s gonna help me, yeah! Asa-chan is the best, she’s the very best, yeah!”

Once she turned the corner though, Asagao couldn’t help but close her eyes, already sensing his deceptive demeanor. No one spilled things that clumsily, especially Dazai. Which meant that it was for a purpose.

But because his actions didn’t seem self destructive, the girl chose to ignore them. It’s not like she minded changing out his bandages time and time again. In fact, she loved doing it, it made her feel closer to him.

Returning to the sofa, Asagao then placed herself beside him before placing the gauze on the table only for Dazai to immediately loosen his port mafia tie from his neck with one hand. “Lean closer, darling.”

So she did, the girl pushed her head closer to him so that he could slip off her glasses before unraveling the tie as she averted her gaze from his in silent wait.

Back in the warehouse she may have been able to look at him without her blurry barriers but now that she wasn’t distracted by the fight everything seemed way harder. She still couldn’t look at him head on like this, no matter how much she tried.

Dazai didn’t seem to mind though, his fingers only focused on securing the black tie around her eyes and into a firm knot as Asagao felt herself let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

So much better.

Then once her view was obstructed, Dazai couldn’t help but soften at the sight of her instant compliance each and every time.

He loved how she never protested to such a strange request, how she never judged him for not being able to do this without the blindfold. No, she knew that he needed this to continue and Dazai was grateful for that.

Once it was done, Asagao moved her fingers towards the coffee stained coverings before slowly undoing each bind as Dazai felt his breath hitch inside his throat at the emotionally intimate contact.

And even though they had done this exchange about a dozen times, each one felt like the very first. It never got easier, it never made his ears stop ringing and his skin stop shivering.

But like some psychotic masochistic man, Dazai never pulled away, his eyes always entranced with her careful and respectful moves, each calculated, each with a certain intent.

He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it, the way she cherished him.

Because as scary as it was, her gentle non judgemental fingers gave him a sense of calm along with the chaos. They terrified him and yet they always soothed him in every kind of mitch matched way.

They reached down to the deepest part of his soul, the one he didn’t know existed and embraced it in a warm and welcoming hug. And though the warmth was uncomfortable and foreign, he didn’t outright hate it anymore.

In fact it was quite the opposite, the boy wanted to run to it, he wanted to jump head first into that dangerous and vulnerable place and never return. He was addicted in every possible way, addicted to the idea of being held by her forever.

This was all her fault, how could she? Making him experience such a life changing feeling, he knew this would happen, he knew he wouldn’t have been able to resist this once he had it. How dare she, how dare she make him feel such weak and fragile emotions again.

How dare she coax him into thinking he deserved such a wonderful experience like this?

Those thoughts made him want to be protected by her hands forever, and with the low murmur of the TV in the background and the sickeningly sweet sound of Asagao’s hum to break through the noise, Osamu did feel exactly that.

Protected.

Slowly and without words, Asagao then hummed to herself in order to wrap the fresh clean bandages around his arms before securing the sight and pulling down her blindfold. “Do you feel better now?”

He simply nodded, still in a daze as Asagao smiled softly in return before replacing her glasses. “Good, I’m glad.”

A soft silence appeared then as the two kids allowed it to fill the room in order to turn their attention to the screen that was playing the latest anime episode of the show that they had been interested in lately.

This was nice, just being with him, relaxing without a care in the world. It made the foreign walls of her brother’s apartment feel more personal and belonging. Hopefully it was the same for Osamu also.

Just then, the sounds from the TV snapped her back to reality, watching as the the main character clapped excitedly as the room around her revealed her friends and family, all of them wishing her a happy birthday in joyish surprise. Aw, how cute. They planned all that out for her.

The sight couldn’t help make Asagao pause though, realizing something almost immediately. “Hey, Samu. Now that I think about it, when is your birthday? My brother never said in his letters and I’ve always been curious.”

Yet that’s when she watched Dazai pause, his voice rather dead and monotone, as if he was mentally waving the question away. “Oh, it was five months ago.”

Feeling her face fell in horror, Asa shook her head in denial. “W-Wait..I missed it..?”

No, that couldn’t be. That meant that during the time they were apart he celebrated his birthday by himself? How sad. No one even knew and he just let it pass like nothing, didn’t he?

Wait. That meant that Dazai was now sixteen, didn't it? She didn’t even realize.

It didn’t matter that he never mentioned it until now, how could possibly let such a thing pass so quietly without a word? Now she felt awful. “Oh no, I’m so sorry Samu! What kind of fake girlfriend am I? I didn’t even say happy birthday to you. What is wrong with me, I should've asked sooner, I should’ve..”

Yet the boy only cut her off though, his tone clearly dismissive. “Don’t worry about it. Celebrating life is stupid anyways.”

But how could she not worry about it? That was an impossible task, one that she knew she couldn't complete “B-But..I..”

Dazai only pushed a finger to her lips though, stopping any sense of self hatred she was about to utter before shaking his head.“I already said don’t worry your pretty little head, love. Now, stop that frown or else you’ll turn ugly like Chuuya.”

Then the boy simply smiled before flopping his head onto her lap comfortably in order to turn towards the TV and ignore the conversation completely. “Now, shush, pillows aren’t supposed to be noisy.”

And when the air turned silent once more, it was far more solemn as Asagao absently moved her hand to his hair with an unsatisfied sigh.

But for Dazai, the topic had already left his mind as the soothing feeling of her hand on his hair caused his eyes to grow heavier and heavier with bliss, immediately getting lost in the soft caresses and lulling touch.

How could he think about anything when her magic had already utterly captivated him?

Feeling Osamu’s head sink further into the safety of her lap, Asagao felt her eyes soften at the sleeping boy before thinking back to her previous question.

And though Dazai seemed to forget about it, she could not, his sad little words consuming her mind all at once.

Celebrating life is stupid anyways

Closing her eyes with dissatisfaction, Asagao then shook her head, not liking the implications of his words as she wished to change them even so.

And she would change them, she had to.

“But it’s not just any life, it’s your life. ”

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x odasaku!sister #dazai x female reader #dazai x reader #dazai x oc #chuuya fifteen #bsd chuuya #chuuyabsd #a03 writer #Dazai #a03 fic

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Finally got my bsd Storm Bringer book in the mail and I will not apologize for the absolute menace I will regarding my future writing and inevitable obsession once I finish it.

Let the angst/crying begin!

#bad #Chuuya #sweet baby boy Chuuya I’m ready to cry for you #bring it on #what can I say I love to torture myself with a agnsty goodness

[ashleyh713fanfics]

🤭

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch11 And Ch12

Double Post:

Chapter 11: "Quit Trying To Be Odasaku"

Chapter 12: "The Scariest Thing Is To Be Perceived"

(I missed an update here so now you get two chapters! They are both long though so hopefully it's some good food for you all. I'm really proud of them.)

Summary: Dazai's greatest fear is for someone to see through his defenses and Oda's sister does just that. What he revels as a marvel towards others becomes his own worst nightmare when turned on himself.

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, dazai self destructing, odasaku death mentions, fluff to angst and then back to fluff, manipulative behavior from both sides, dazai is a simp in the second half, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter eleven and twelve of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 16k total (Told you it was long. Enjoy the ride hehe)

One Year Ago

Silently opening up the looming door in front of her face, fourteen year old Asagao slipped inside the darkened space before closing the surface and leaning her back against the wood with distant eyes. 

And though she tried not to, a small shaky sigh couldn’t help but escape her lips in order to think back to the confrontation just moments ago. She blew it again, of course she did. That’s always what happened, why was she expecting anything different? 

It started innocently enough, the girl noticing when one of the girls in her class was strangely silent the entire day. 

So naturally, when class was over she pulled her aside and asked her what was wrong. Asa just wanted to help, honest. She wanted to wipe that sad look from her classmates face, that was her intention. That was always the intention. 

She never wanted to hurt her. 

Yet the moment the girl shut down, Asa pushed, she pushed herself to figure out just what was hurting her by commenting on her appearance and cadence of speech. 

They were dirty and unkept, like they hadn’t been washed in weeks and soon enough Asagao had concluded that her father had stolen all of their families money and ran away leaving them broke and hungry. 

So naturally, she told the girl her findings. 

Asa’s assumptions were correct of course, but the girl didn’t know the hurt that she had unknowingly caused, her isolated and unique upbringing in the hellhound program leaving gaps in her learning of social cues and understanding of sensitive topics. 

No, Oda’s sister only saw logic, analyzing the situation like she had always been trained to do, what she had been damaged to do without a second thought. It was a character flaw, one that Asa didn’t even realize was there.

But that came at a cost, it always did. 

Because a moment later, she watched as the girl’s face flushed with a type of embarrassment in order to shove Asa as hard as she possibly could in order for the red haired girl to spot tears in her classmates eyes.  

But Asa didn’t understand the response. Why were there tears? Asagao was right in every possible manner. She had guessed her problem. Isn’t that what she wanted, for someone to figure her out so that she wouldn’t be so lonely? So that Asa could help her?

These were all thoughts that crossed her mind before she felt her body collide with her ground as her glasses slipped from her eyes at the same time, the sound clattering with haunting familiarity only for the girl to shriek and jump back with fear at the sight of her scary and hollow expression. 

Then very familiar words appeared in the air, the girl calling her the usual insults Asa was used to before getting her other friends to do the same. It was like she was some sort of freak show, some sort of sideshow attraction and oddity that didn’t belong. 

Freak. Scary. Annoying. Defect. Disgusting. Monster. 

And Asagao supposed they were right. 

She didn’t belong, not with them. She knew that. She had lost her chance the moment her captives molded her into their own sick design. Normal, there was no hope for that now.

One look at that was plain to see to everyone around, even her.

So much so, the girl didn’t object, simply crawling back on her knees before leaving the whispers and murmurs behind in order to retreat back to her dorm room silently. 

And that’s what brought her here, Asagao slowly making her way over to her bed before leaning down in order to take out a small white shoe box and place it on her mattress with extreme care. 

Undoing the lid ever so slowly, Oda’s sister then slipped her hand inside before carefully taking out the top note in order to read its contents just like she had done a million times before. 

It was a ritual, something she did, something she had to read every once in a while or else she knew she’d unravel completely. 

----

Today, I met a boy.  He showed up right outside my apartment covered in blood so I brought him in. And there is something about him, something familiar..

  I think his world spins as fast as yours.

----

Pushing down another shaky breath of uncertainty, Asagao then curled onto the mattress before pushing her body even further into a ball of herself and clutching the note to her heart for dear life. 

Dazai Osamu. 

She didn’t know him, he didn’t know her and yet her brother's words brought a sense of hope, one that she clung to over and over again. Just reading the mere sentences caused her nerves to soften and her body to relax with a sense of calm she was sure that boy didn’t even know he was capable of.

The power this mystery boy had, it wrapped her in a chokehold each and every time. Yes, those kids didn’t understand, they didn’t accept her but she knew that somewhere out there, this boy could. Maybe he could understand it all, maybe he even had the same thoughts as well. 

A shared mind, a shared experience. Connected by thoughts, how nice that sounded.

Did he also wish to be normal? Did he also say the wrong things sometimes? Did he also feel alone and isolated? Did he get as sad as her? Did he also get misunderstood and beaten down like she had been today? 

Asagao didn’t know for certain but just the idea of their shared experience was enough to make her close her eyes, clutching onto the letter between her fingers for dear life like a vice and pray that it might be true. 

And although she knew she was glorifying a stranger, it didn’t stop her from attaching herself to him even so. Because if her big brother had chosen to keep that kid around, then that also meant that there was a chance that Oda didn’t absolutely despise someone like her either. 

A million miles away and yet the knowledge of Osamu’s existence was enough to comfort her in a way he would never know. Her lifeline, her connection, her validation through a string of words and thoughts..

And suddenly just the mere existence of Dazai Osamu was enough to make everything seem almost okay again.

-----

Present 

Groaning through her heavy lidded eyes, Asagao yawned in order for a sharp headache to flash across her temple without permission. It felt like she had been hit with a hundred bricks and an oncoming truck at the same time. But that was the price for drinking so heavily she supposed. The mornings were never easy. 

She then attempted to lift her hand to the source only for Asa to realize that couldn't move her arms or her legs in the slightest before her face dropped with realization. Oh, that's right. Osamu rolled her up into human sushi last night and left her there. 

Now how was she gonna get out of this one? 

Wiggling around like a worm on the mattress, Asa then tried to undo her bonds with no avail only for her to groan in defeat. Well that wasn’t going to work. Maybe she just needed to put some more power behind it? Yeah, that could work

She then tried again, Asa purposely flopping her body, this time looking like a fish out of water in order to edge closer to the bed as she gasped in success. “Ha ha! Yes, I’m so smart! Take that Osamu.” 

Grinning wildly, her victory was short lived as she felt her constricted body start to slide further and further off the bed with no traction to keep her in place. “W-Wait, no no no n-..” 

Asagao then watched helplessly as her entire body rolled off the highrise bed, slamming her body rather ungracefully into the hardwood floor face first with a heavy suppressed painful groan. 

Damn it, spoke too soon. 

The hit didn’t help her headache, the dull stabbing sensation mixing with her smushed face before she finally felt her arms move under the blankets. Seemed like the fall had loosened the restrictive cage after all. 

Trying her wiggling technique again, Asa then pulled her body from the blanket in order to hop up with her hands straight up in the air in victory. Well, not what she originally planned but the result was the same! Just forget that first part.  

Her quick movements caused her temple to scream in reply though, Asa hissing in order to push her fingers to the call. Alright, first things first, gotta fix this annoying headache. 

Moving over to the connected bathroom, the girl then flipped open the cabinet before picking out a white bottle of pain pills in order to shake the jar with a smile. She knew she could count on a suicide enthusiast to have pain medicine. As expected. 

She then took a labeled dosage before stepping out of the bedroom only to find the entire apartment empty, just like last night. Huh, Osamu must’ve had important executive business to attend to this morning.

Ah well, maybe it was better he didn’t see her embarrassing falling on her face display . 

Not knowing what to do with her time, Asagao then moved over to the kitchen in order to start opening the cabinets in silent thought. Since Osu was out she should surprise him with breakfast. It was the least she could do since he allowed her to stay the night so graciously. 

Yet a moment later, Asa felt her face drop at the sight before her. 

Every single cabinet and drawer was completely empty, even the fridge. But didn’t Osu eat? He had to, right? Everyone needed to eat to survive. It was just a fact. 

Although that’s when Asa recalled a couple of Oda’s letters. Her brother said that sometimes he had to force the boy to sit down to eat. But was Osamu still like that? Did he still have an unhealthy relationship with food? He seemed fine eating her curry three weeks ago. 

No, this wouldn’t do. She couldn’t let him starve. Oda wouldn’t have wanted that and since he isn’t here anymore then it was up to Asa to fill that spot. Otherwise, she wasn’t sure if Osu would ever really eat again. And that worried her to no end. 

But what was she going to make with no food? 

Humming to herself in silent thought, Asagao then wrote down a list of ingredients on a small sticky note before opening the door to his apartment only to be met with the same black suited subordinates that “helped” her last night. 

She didn’t expect that. “Oh! Hello boys. You assigned to watch me again?” 

They simply nodded in return only for Asa to hold up the small note in her fingers. “Sooo, I’m guessing leaving to go to the store isn’t something you’re gonna allow, huh?” 

Once again, the subordinates only shook their heads, the burly man crossing his arms in silent challenge. “It wouldn’t be advised no.” 

Pouting her lips in annoyance for their shut down, Asagao then closed her eyes before using her little tricks to her advantage. Manipulating these guys twice made her feel kinda scummy but this was the only way she was going to get what she wanted. 

And she was going to get it, one way or another. 

Batting her eyes in fake innocence, Asa hummed. “What a shame, whatever will I do? Our executive clearly stated that he wanted pancakes this morning when he got back. If I tell him that you guys stopped me from completing his wish, I bet he’ll be really angry and want to take it out on someone. I pray what kind of poor soul will face his wrath.” 

They seemed to register what she was implying right away. Yes, it was a lie that Osamu asked for breakfast but these guys didn’t need to know that. They just needed to believe that they would be punished for not following through. Sorry, Osu. I’m using your name again. But it’s for a good cause so please forgive me.

And for a moment, they seemed skeptical about the odd request from one of the most feared men in Yokohama. That didn’t sound like Dazai. “The boss said he wanted pancakes?” 

Asa didn’t falter though, her shoulders shrugging carelessly. “Mhmm. He said he had a craving. You can fact check me if you want and ask him yourself but I don’t think you’ll have that much time to do so. What if Dazai comes back before then? Then we’ll all be in trouble.” 

She used his last name so smoothly and yet it still felt wrong to say it. Asa hated referring to Osu as Dazai, especially because it broke the foolish illusion in her mind that the two were closer than they appeared. Calling him Osamu made her feel happier, like they weren’t actually strangers. 

But in this instance she had to say it to prove a point, to use the title in a sense of looming dread for these sorry scared subordinates. The fact was, Dazai’s last name held power, especially in the port mafia. It was a name that enemies crumbled to and hid for time and time again. And she knew that, so she used it to her advantage. 

Besides, she also knew they were too dumb and frazzled to actually go and ask Osu the truth. That was another level of risk and it took longer than just agreeing to her silly idea. Therefore, the odds were stacked heavily on her side. 

Now for them to just take the bait.

Counting the seconds in her mind, Asagao then slowly turned around from the men in order to pretend to go back inside the apartment only for her lips to curve upwards at their worried voices. “What kind?”

Not missing a beat, she then quickly turned around before lifting up the small note between her fingers with a fake exaggerated gasp, almost like she had pulled a rabbit from a hat. “Oh, would you look at that? It’s your lucky day, I already made a list! And since I can’t leave this place that means you boys are gonna have the honor of doing the shopping for me! Don’t worry though, it will be a team effort in the end. You get the supplies and I’ll make the pancakes. That way Dazai will be satisfied and we both win. Sound good?” 

A team effort sure, but they clearly got the short end of the stick by having to be her lackeys. That was the reality but Asa sugar coated it so well that the men didn’t even notice it, their eyes frantic to please their executive as fast as possible. 

Lifting their hands out for the note, Asa passed it happily, making them believe that they had come to the decision themselves even though she had carefully orchestrated the whole thing. 

Suckers. 

---------

The night was a blur as Dazai found himself walking the streets of Yokohama until the sun lazily appeared from behind the nearby buildings. Sleep wasn’t something that graced the boy normally, and it had gotten worse since Odasaku’s death. 

Simply because every time he closed his eyes, he found himself back reliving that horrible nightmare over and over again. It was like his mind was tormenting him, not letting him forget about the reality of loss for even a second. 

But insomnia brought its own torture as well, not allowing him to rest his ever moving and muttered thoughts inside his head in the slightest. No moments of quiet were allowed, even while still being awake. 

But the feeling had gotten usual, normal even for the boy, his feet finding himself back at the door of his apartment before silently turning the key into the lock. At least his inability to sleep got him away from Asa’s temptingly dangerous offer to get closer.

No, he had already decided to ignore that, Dazai knowing very well that if he even lingered on such a thing for a moment then his selfish and greedy nature would destroy everything he had just built between them. 

Those walls need to stay up, for both his and her safety. 

Opening the door slowly, Dazai was then suddenly hit with a strange new aroma, the smell sickeningly sweet and flavorful as he moved further into the space. But what could that be? He didn’t remember his place smelling like this when he left last night. 

Yet his questions were soon answered as he turned the corner only to find Asagao’s back to him, her lips humming in a happy little melody as she poured what looked to be a bowl full of batter on a pan. 

Just what was this crazy girl doing now? He thought she would still be wrapped up like a mummy when he got home. Then again, the girl was insanely clever, of course she had gotten free without his help. 

Crossing his arms against the doorframe, the smallest sound seemed to alert her attention, Asa’s curious expression turning around only for her face to light up with that same goofy and over the top manner as always had towards him. “Osu, you’re back! And just in time. Everything is almost ready.” 

And god, he’d be lying if he said that stupid little smile didn’t make his stomach toss and turn in all the wrong ways. Even after pinning her down and bleeding his evils to her last night she was still looking at him the very same.

What an idiot she was, and what an idiot he was for falling for it again. 

Lowering his eyes in hidden shame for himself, Dazai then paused when he saw that she was holding a plate in her hand, the scent of freshly made pancakes assaulting his senses all at once without permission. 

Hold on, she made breakfast? No one had ever done that before. Odasaku wasn’t a breakfast kind of guy and the women he slept with never held the desire to do something so personal before. But why? Why did she do it? 

He got his answer a second later, the girl happily skipping over to the massive empty table to their left in order to place the pillow-y items on the surface. “I wanted to thank you for letting me stay over last night so I made these for you. I hope you like them.” 

For him. 

She made them for him. Well of course she did, that seemed to be her only motivation for anything. And although he should’ve guessed that, Dazai didn’t. Almost like he still couldn’t comprehend someone going out of their way for someone like him. 

The idea was foreign and strange. No one did things so selflessly, not in his experience. 

But to say that Asa had an ulterior motive would be wrong, knowing that wasn’t the case either. She simply did things out of the goodness of her heart, and that was a concept the mafioso wasn’t familiar with.

She didn’t need to thank him for doing a bare minimum. 

So much so, the boy remained quiet, simply slipping into the open chair before looking at the coaxing sight immediately. She was mocking him, he just knew it. Unknowingly, but that didn’t change the fact that this uncomfortable warmth wasn’t something he could have. 

The mundane, the simple casual life. It wasn’t for him.

But then why did it make him feel so strange? Why did it twist around him and make him want to run away? It was like he had just slipped into a warm bath, the feeling coating his skin and making him jump out before he drowned in it forever. 

No, he needed to shut it down.

Asa on the other hand was oblivious to such things, her hands happily setting the table before taking her place across from him. It was times like this she was grateful for learning to cook as a kid. Now she could treat him the kind of meal he deserved. 

Picking up one of the pancakes with her fork, Asagao plopped the item onto her plate before forcing herself to speak out from the silence. “I bet you’re wondering how I’m such a good cook? Well, I’ll tell you. You see, I didn’t really get along with the kids back home and I didn’t want to ruin their meals by them having to see me so I learned to cook for myself. That way everyone was happy.” 

The memory was sad but Asa forced herself not to linger on it. Yeah, the kids she met were mean and called her names but it got her to step out of her comfort zone and learn new things like this. So it couldn’t have been all bad, right?

Humming to herself, she then chuckled before shoving a fork full of food into her mouth with a simple shrug. “But then again, I’m happy that happened cause now I can eat with you and cook all your favorite things!” 

But what Osamu didn’t know was that she had initially started cooking because of those letters, because of the way Oda had mentioned that Dazai had trouble with eating.

She guessed that in some crazy way she wanted to help him, to repay the favor of his existence by learning to make food that he would like, even if she wasn’t sure he would ever taste them. 

And though her brother never said what types of things Osamu ended up liking, that just gave her even more motivation to learn as many recipes as possible. 

But what do you know? She had gotten her wish, in a fucked up way. She had lost her brother in the process but now she was sitting across from Osu, able to put her skills to good use just like she had always intended. 

It was bittersweet but Asa couldn’t help but be grateful for the latter. 

Kicking her legs under the table in response, Asa then swallowed the piece of food before she finally heard Osu’s voice, except it somehow turned out to be much colder than she imagined. “You don’t have to worry about Ango anymore.” 

The whiplash was sudden, causing her head to snap back to his with shock and confusion. Hold on, what did he just say? Ango wasn’t going to come after her anymore? No, it couldn’t be. That guy was stubborn. 

And looking at him now, the boy still hadn’t looked up from the single pancake in front of him, almost like he was imagining that they were mocking him and calling him names silently.

 But what had pancakes ever done to him to react this way? Because right now he was looking at them like they were his worst enemy. 

That was besides the point though, the girl focusing on his words more than anything.“W-Wait, why? Did something happen?”

Dazai replied distantly, almost like he was distracted by something. “I took care of it. You can stay in Yokohama. He won’t try to send you back anymore.” 

Won’t try to send her back? Well, that was surprising. Asa wondered how he managed it, or if Ango was even still alive anymore? To be honest she wouldn’t have cared either way considering she didn’t know the man but he was her brother’s friend. It would be unfortunate if he had died. 

But the look on Osu’s face wasn’t one of murder so she let that theory go. Instead, the girl simply rested her hands in her lap, unsure how to respond to such big news. “O-Oh..thank you…”

Now she could stay in Yokohama and with Osamu. Was that what he was trying to get at, that he wanted her to still be around him? What about her offer last night, was this the answer to that also? 

Yet before she had a chance to ask, Osu spoke again, like he was giving an order. “When you’re done eating I’ll call my men and you’ll go back with them.” 

His voice was still cold and distant, causing Asa to put her fork down in concern. What was going on? He didn’t act like this last night. It was like he was treating her like another subordinate, giving instructions without a care in the world. 

Right now he wasn’t her Osamu, he was Dazai, the mafia executive. 

It was a shift, a change that made her fingers tightened around the hem of her skirt before forcing herself to bite her tongue and keep her words in her mouth. The last thing she wanted was to push and make him upset. 

But even still, she could sense it immediately, the walls that had been put up, the distance in his voice so sudden it caught her off guard. What was this distance, and why had he constructed it like some sort of defense mechanism? 

Although that’s when she watched him slowly stand up from his seat, ignoring the freshly made pancake in front of him only for the girl to finally call out. “What about you?”

She wasn’t expecting anything, but Asa would be lying to say that she wasn’t sad that their little date had finally come to an end. Everything was just so wonderful, she didn’t want her beautiful carriage to turn back into a pumpkin. Maybe if she asked, the magic could continue a little longer. 

And maybe those walls could come down also.

Yet she was sorely mistaken when Osu simply scoffed at her concern, his hands lifted out in mocking reply. “Work, sweetheart. What? Were you expecting me to want me to walk you back? Are you really that needy that you can’t be without me for ten seconds? What a clingy little puppy you are, Asa-chan.” 

And just like that, he disappeared into his bedroom, closing the door in order to hide himself from her as Asagao simply dropped her head down to look at his pancakes with a frown. 

He didn’t even touch them. 

Well, she should’ve expected that, Oda did say he didn’t like to eat sometimes so she shouldn't have taken it personally. And yet for some reason, Asa still did, her heart twisting with rejection in order to hang her head with sadness. 

Sighing to herself, the girl then pulled out her phone before opening her notes app and crossing off the first sentence on the top, the one she had written almost a year ago. 

Things Osamu might like to eat: pancakes

--------

Osamu’s men dropped her off in front of her brother’s apartment, leaving her alone on the streets as she felt herself recall back to the embarrassing display just moments ago. He didn’t even see her off, but she guessed he was probably just really busy with executive stuff again.  

And even if it wasn’t the case, Asa knew he didn’t have the obligation to walk her to the car either. It wasn’t like they were actually boyfriend and girlfriend. Osu didn’t do “mushy”, she already knew that. Just him allowing her to stay the night should’ve been enough. 

Yet Asagao hated that she still wanted more, her selfish and greedy little heart unable to get their perfect date out of her head no matter how hard she tried. Ugh, damn it! Pull it together, Asa! He’s just doing what we said in the agreement. Don’t get disappointed. 

Shaking the thought from her head, she then slapped her cheeks roughly in order to finally make her way up the steps to Oda’s place only to see a vague shadow moving in the corner of her vision. 

And when she heard his voice, her distaste didn’t lessen at all. “Asagao.” 

Already feeling her throat groan at his presence, Asa glanced behind her in order to just barely make out the suited government agent just a couple feet away. Damn it, Osu said he wasn’t going to bother her anymore. Was that a lie, or just a miscalculation? 

Cause right now she felt pretty bothered. 

Getting ready to use her ability and flee, she paused when Ango’s frantic tone called back to her. “Don’t! Just..please..listen to me for a second. I’m not going to drag you back. I promise.” 

Not fully believing him, Asa still kept her guard up, turning her body around to finally face him with a heavy weighed sigh. “What do you want, Ango? You want to get a couple more jabs in? Tell me how disappointed my brother would be for what I’m doing? Go ahead.” 

Her words were sharp, causing Ango to physically flitch at the brutality of them all before he hung his head with a broken whisper. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to get that far. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was angry and I took it out on you. Odasaku was my best friend. What I said..I just wanted to make sure you were safe.” 

She knew that, she knew that was his intention but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt. Hearing those truths firsthand, shoving Oda’s feelings in her face had brought a sense of guilt she couldn’t hide. Ango was right after all, she was sure her brother wouldn’t have approved of her being in Yokohama, and yet she did it anyway. 

Some little sister she was, right? Going against her brother's wishes just because she knew he couldn’t stop her from the dead. How fucked up of her to use such a sad loophole to her benefit. 

Not wanting to think about it anymore, Asa then closed her eyes before willing the horrible feelings from her head in order to cross her arms. “Is that all you have to say?” 

And she hoped that was it, that Ango was done with his internal torture because the girl didn’t know how much more she could take of his hard truths. She didn’t want to hear them, to face the disappointment. 

Yet that’s when Ango paused before reaching into the bag by his side in order to pull out a large stack of papers, the white colored pages bounded by one staple. “No. I wanted to give you this.” 

Not understanding, Asa frowned. “What is it?” 

Still holding the pages between his fingers, Ango spoke towards the ground, his voice plain and serious. “I know about your past, Asagao. I know that you and Oda were taken in by an organization for assassins. I know that you killed like a rabid animal, following whatever orders they assigned. A prodigy, a beast, a tool. You outshone everyone in the program, so much so that there were bidding wars on who would hold your lease in the end.”

Why was he telling her this? She already knew all that shit. She had lived it after all. So why was he bringing up such unpleasant memories again? 

Shaking her head, Asa glared back. “So you know my life, what about it?”

Ango only sighed though, obviously annoyed that she wasn’t understanding where he was going. “Oda kept you away from this for a reason, Asagao. He knew that if you ever returned to enemy hands then the results would be catastrophic.” 

Crossing her arms over her chest once more, she nodded in response. He was rehashing things again. “Because I'm a hellhound, I know.” 

Ango only pushed his glasses up with frustration. “No, you don’t get it..” 

Snapping his head up, the agent then extended the pages to her, his voice chilling her entire soul. “You aren’t just a hellhound, you’re the only hellhound left in existence .” 

What? 

Almost immediately, Asagao felt her eyes widen in shock, her blood running cold. What did he just say? No, that couldn't be. The hellhounds were the organization's greatest accomplishment, it’s what got them on the map. There were hundreds of people like her, so many faces that went through the same grueling hell she did. 

Shakily taking the report between her fingers, Asa forced herself to weigh them in her hands, even as her skin started to grow numb. “W-What? What does that mean?” 

Ango answered immediately, his eyes then leaving hers.“The entire organization, the hellhound program, it no longer exists.” 

What? No, there was no way. He was lying, The organization that Oda and her worked for was massive, it couldn’t just be gone. That was impossible. 

So much so, the girl spoke her fear into the air. “That can’t be possible, what happened to it then?” 

His answer was immediate, one simple word leaving her stunned. “Odasaku.” 

Not allowing her to process the name, Ango then continued a second later, his voice clear with emotion. “Your big brother dismantled the entire organization for you. He killed everyone involved and erased the tracks so that no one could ever connect you to the underworld. The operation was so big that everyone thought he had help but that wasn’t the case. He did it all by himself, at the age of just fifteen.”

Sucking in a heavy breath, the agent finished softly. “All so you could be free..” 

A heavy silence appeared then as Asagao tried to process what he was saying. Her brother had eliminated everyone in that organization, he had taken down the entire hellhound program and buried it just so no one would ever know she was alive? He did all of that, her brother, the man she never knew, he risked everything for her like that? 

Just the idea brought tears to her eyes, her metaphorical fingers reaching out and finally finding someone to hold onto after so many long horrible years. 

Why didn’t she know that before? Why didn’t he just tell her in those letters? Fuck, she thought he hated her all these years but really he was doing this? Asa always thought that Oda just hid her and then took her place. She didn’t know he had gone so far beyond that just for her sake. 

And seeing her falter was something that pained Ango the most. The way she was searching his face for lies, for any sort of deception broke his heart into two. One look from her face and it was obvious to tell that she couldn’t believe him, that she was afraid to.

That is until the man reached forward in order to tap the stack of papers in her hands, urging her to look. “Please, don’t ever doubt his love for you, Asagao. Oda adored his little sister more than anything; It was never resentment. He wanted to give you everything, even what he could never have, and if you can’t believe that then look at the facts in front of you. Words don't lie.”

It hurt him to see her like this, knowing that Oda had never intended his little sister to be so wary. When she told him all her assumptions, the things that she had been fearful of her entire life, Ango knew he had to fix them, to make her see that her big brother truly did care for her, in more ways than she would ever know. 

And although she couldn’t ever talk to her brother about it, he hoped this tangible proof was enough to finally put her heart at ease once and for all. 

But what he didn’t know was that his small gesture had crashed open the flood gates that she had always tried to keep closed. And even though she told herself that Ango was lying for her sake, the words on the page and the record of that night appeared right in front of her face with painstaking reality. 

Could it be? Oda never hated her? Not even once? Osamu’s stories and Ango’s reports were all true. God, the feeling was so overwhelming, Asa felt like she could crumble on her knees sob in relief. It was like a weight had suddenly lifted off her shoulders and the girl didn’t know what to do with it. 

So much so, Asa then turned her teary eyes up to look at the agent before her lips began to quiver in response, her emotions screaming to be let out. “A-Ango…” 

She thought he was a bad guy for trying to pull her away from this but perhaps that wasn’t the case after all. He had just given her the very thing she wanted most, and that meant everything to her. 

Seeing her race forward, Ango’s eyes then widened as Oda’s sister wrapped her arms around his waist, burying her face into his suit jacket with a messy hug as the man stumbled backwards in shock. “H-Hey..”

She only responded by grasping even tighter as his eyes fell at the feeling of her small shaky uncertain arms holding onto him for dear life. He recognized it immediately. This was the hold of a child, a scared, terrified child that needed comfort more than anything else in the world. 

And although Ango knew about the dark and bloody past that she lived, right now it was impossible to tell, the man placing an awkward hand to her head before validating her feelings. “Alright alright..it’s okay..you’re welcome..”

The girl only squeezed him in response, not trusting her own voice as the agent continued. “I won’t try to send you back anymore but I want you to be aware of the risks. If not for you then for Oda. Staying in Yokohama will always be dangerous for you. Don’t let this place drag you back and ruin Odasaku’s work. Please, I wouldn’t be able to bear it..” 

All this time, Asa realized that she had been truly blind to the evil that her brother had left her behind for. Because if the underworld found out that a professionally trained hellhound was still alive, then the price on her head would be far more lethal than ever before. 

She was a rarity now, a one of a kind gem that even the most twisted of members would kill for. That’s why her brother had tried to get her out of Yokohama, because coming back would mean facing a minefield of traps. 

But even now, Asagao couldn’t get herself to walk away. Yes, it was dangerous, yes that just by associating her with Osamu she was already playing with fire and almost getting burned. But either way, she wanted to stay, she needed to, in order to have the last remaining tie to Oda. 

Osamu, she couldn’t leave him. She couldn’t go back to being lonely again now that she had experienced how wonderful he was, how she accepted her. No, Asa knew she was already in far too deep to ever go back to how things were before. 

Shaking her head against his chest, Asa then finally pulled away from Ango, her voice serious and final for her choice. “I won’t..I won’t ruin it..” 

And this time, the man didn’t scold her for wanting to stay, his eyes falling with acceptance in order to nod with relief. At least she was aware of the risks now. His friend's sacrifice wouldn’t be for nothing  “Thank you.” 

Although that’s when another bandaged presence seemed to pop into his mind, the agent pausing for a moment before trying to tread lightly on the subject. “And the same thing goes for Dazai, please be careful of him also.” 

Because if there was one thing he knew, it was that Dazai was connected to the port mafia, which meant that Asa was now closer than ever to the thing Oda had tried to save her from. 

And although he wanted to believe that his old friend had turned over a new leaf, and wanted to keep her safe from Mori, he was still skeptical. 

Dazai’s loyalty to Odasaku was noticeable but Ango still didn’t trust that he wouldn’t unknowingly ruin Asa in the process of his own selfish desires. The truth was, the biggest threat for her right now was the bandaged boy she was so attached to. 

Asa only frowned though, distaste covering her past relief. “I don’t need to, Osu has only ever been nice to me.” 

She hated that Ango looked at Osu like a monster, like some sort of evil she needed to watch out for. Sure, he wasn’t a great man but he also wasn’t completely bad either. 

He had given her so much already. He had shown her hope and a connection to her brother she had never thought possible. 

Ango still didn’t seem convinced though, his words sharp. “Maybe for now, but that boy is an enigma. He will always do what benefits him and is too broken to care about the destruction in his wake. Don’t let him destroy you too.” 

And perhaps he wouldn't do it on purpose but Ango knew the chaotic energy that resisted in that boy’s soul. It was so easy to get caught up in the tornado of it all, to be struck by his nearby lightning if you got too close. 

Groaning to herself, Asa then shrugged her shoulders in response. “There is nothing to destroy. Our relationship is in name only.” 

That was the fact about them that Ango seemed to be forgetting. Osamu and her, they weren’t friends, even though she hoped that could be the case. But whatever storm or disaster he was talking about was irreverent to her. 

They were using each other for their own wishes, that’s all it was. They weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend, they weren’t connected in any sort of way that would cause destruction. It was a surface level thing. 

Nodding back in approval, the tense expression on his face then seemed to dissipate, leaving only relief. “Good, keep it that way. Otherwise you’ll be added to the long list of people he’s hurt.” 

And that was the last thing Ango wanted for her. She didn’t deserve to be caught up with a suicidal mess like Dazai. Surface level was fine, but the man knew that anything more than that would only bring pain in the end. 

That boy didn’t know how to care for another person. Hell, he didn’t even know how to care for himself, and if Asagao got in the middle of that then the only one that would end up hurt would be her, and he would not let that happen. 

Just as long as they kept their distance, just as long as Asagao never falls for his deceptive tricks or seduction. Just as long as she never actually falls in love with him, then it would be fine. He could live with their relationship. 

Reaching his hand forward, Ango then placed his hand back onto her head before speaking softly. “If anything happens, come find me. I don’t care what Dazai wants, if you are put in danger in any capacity then I will fight the entire port mafia to make sure you’re safe.” 

He meant every word, knowing that the moment Dazai hurt her, he would not hesitate to break this thing entirely. It’s what Odasaku would’ve done, and since he wasn’t alive now it was up to Ango to take the position. 

And he would, without fail, make sure that his best friend's wish stayed granted. 

-----------

The next time Asagao saw Osamu was two weeks later, the girl happily opening the door only for him to casually stroll in with a sly smile. “Little eager today, aren’t we Asa-chan?” 

And it was hard to deny that, knowing that the girl had been waiting for him to show up again so they could spend more time with each other. Just seeing him here gave her that same joy that he always seemed to bring. 

Nodding once, the girl beamed. “Sorry, I’m just excited to see you. It's been awhile.” 

Moving over to their usual seats, the girl then took out the white shoe box that held her brother’s letters before taking out the top entry in order to slide it over to Osu silently. 

The boy took in the words immediately, handling the paper with just as much care as he always did before carefully folding the surface as gently as possible. And though he didn’t speak about it, it was obvious to tell that he cherished the letter more than anything in the entire world. 

Closing his eyes, Dazai then slipped into one his usual stories about Odasaku, a wistful look in his eyes. “Hey Asa-chan, you wanna know how Odasaku and I met in the first place?”

The girl nodded immediately, her eyes glued to his. “Oda’s letters said something about finding you outside covered in blood. Is there more to it?” 

She partly wondered why he decided to share his particular story now. Perhaps he was just feeling sentimental about it. Not that she minded though, anything Osamu gave her about Oda was a gift. 

Seeing the light practically sparkle in his eyes at her eager response, Dazai then leaned forward on his knees before gasping in child-like glee. “Oh yeah, lots more! That guy chained me to a bedpost for weeks so I wouldn't escape and then used his ability to swindle me out of all the port mafia’s secrets. It was so unfair and he knew it, weaponizing his future skill against me. So mean.” 

The boy then pouted his lips at the memory causing Asagao to giggle under her breath. She was happy to see him this way, it seemed like that wall he had built between them wasn’t here right now and he was allowing his kid-ish nature to seep out. 

Perhaps without permission, but Asa was grateful for it even so. It made her feel closer to him, just like that night they had spent together at Bar Lupin. What was she so worried about before? He seemed okay now. 

Raising an eye, the girl poked herself into the conversation. “He swindled you?” 

Groaning in exasperation, Osu then fell backwards before flopping his bandage filled arms onto the table. “Yeah! That guy was shadier then you would think. He knew I didn’t have a chance with that ability of his. Odasaku was so sneaky sometimes.” 

Asa wondered what that looked like. Did her brother have the same kind of manipulative traits that she had? Because from what Osu described it sure sounded like it. Huh, she always thought she was the odd duck in their family but perhaps not. 

Osu then carried on with this story, throwing his arms up in the air with a slight whine. “I mean, I tried for so long to get him to be sick of me and let me go but nothing worked! Honestly, it was kind of impressive. I’ve never met someone that would be so indifferent to annoyance like him…” 

Yet that’s when Dazai felt himself stop in order to glance at the watchful kid in front of him. No, that was a lie. He did know someone else with that same kind of indifference, and she was sitting across from him right now. 

And almost immediately, the boy felt his hands fall as he forced himself to reel his excitement back in. Damn it, he was getting too comfortable again, slipping into these carefree stories like they were friends. 

He promised himself before he came here that he would stop doing that. Guess that showed how little self control he actually had when it came to her and Odaskau as a whole. 

No, the original plan was to read Odasaku’s letter, tell one story and then leave. That was what had to happen, and Dazai was determined to keep it like that. 

Forcing his lips closed, the mafioso then frantically stood from his spot before making his way back towards the door only for Asa to raise her hands in concern. What had gotten into him all of a sudden? They were in the middle of a story. “Hey, where are you going?” 

The boy only shrugged his shoulders though, leaving Asa stunned. “Our agreement was fulfilled, right? That means it’s time to head out.” 

And yes, he was right. She knew he was. They had already exchanged what was expected, he got a letter and she got a story. But things were going well, he looked so happy gushing about Oda. Why did that have to end so quickly? 

Twisting her expression in conflict, Asagao then frowned before that familiar sense of loneliness couldn’t help but coat her throat. Just a little more, please stay just a little more. 

She then stood with him, grasping at anything to make him stay. “Are you sure? You don't have to..I mean…I was just about to cook dinner. Maybe we could..” 

Yet the boy simply cut her off, a tight smile on his lips as he waved her offer away like it meant absolutely nothing. “Sorry sweetheart, no can do! This handsome face is fully booked for the evening. Hate to disappoint but you gotta get in line for that.” 

Almost immediately though, Asagao’s trained senses couldn’t help but ring with alarms. To anyone else, that response would’ve been normal but for someone that had cataloged his entire being, she knew right away that his words were a deflection of something else. 

She felt that wall slam back up almost instantly, the distance much colder than it was just a couple minutes ago when they were laughing and telling stories. But why? What happened to make him so standoff-ish and fake all of a sudden? Was it something she said? 

And she hated it, she hated that the sound of his voice implied that they were just mere strangers and not friends. Suddenly he was so out of reach, her invisible hand finding air instead of the boy she knew before. 

The feeling was suffocating, Asagao wanting so badly to call him out on it, to show that she knew exactly what he was doing. But somehow, she forced herself to resist, to hold back on prying into the sad and complicated mind he possessed. 

It was invasive, she knew that. She had figured that out firsthand when she accidentally made those girls from school cry and push her around. And though it felt like an itch she had to scratch, Asa instead clutched her hands into fists, holding back the temptation. 

He would tell her when he was ready, right?

She had to trust that. If something was bothering him then would confine to her. That’s what she wanted to believe so badly. Anything to keep this ugly part of her at bay and hold back her words. 

Taking a deep breath, Asagao then forced a smile to her lips in fake positivity before giving him a small wave in reply. “That’s okay, I don’t want to disturb you. Have fun.” 

Osamu only winked in response, the flirty gesture giving her no comfort. “You know it, darling.” 

And then he left, leaving her with the familiar companion of loneliness that had accompanied her throughout her entire life. 

------

Three months. 

It had been three months since their date and Asa was growing restless by the day, watching as Osamu kept that same suffocating distance between them. He never spoke about it, he didn’t even bring anything up regarding it. 

No, he just left her in her own torment, like a shaky damn that’s foundations were slowly cracking. 

She kept trying to tell herself to let it go, to stop being a bother and face the fact that they would never be friends like she had hoped. That wasn’t the agreement, he had no obligation to hang around longer than he needed to. 

But as the days passed, so did the selfishness of her heart. The greed was swallowing her whole with every bit of rejection she received to have him stick around. No matter what she tried he never seemed interested. 

No, he did seem interested. That was the problem.

Because of her stupid upbringing and analytical eyes she could tell that he was lying in his answers. This facade he put up, it wasn’t fooling her one bit and she honestly wished that it had. 

The truth was, if he simply didn’t want those things then she could’ve lived with it but it was obvious to tell that Osu was holding himself back from something. And though Asagao was never an angry person, his withdrawal was starting to piss her off. 

Why was he doing this to himself, why was he forcing himself to leave time and time again? She hated it, the torture he was putting himself through for a reason she couldn’t decipher. 

So much so that after their usual exchange, Asagao followed him out the door, her fingers catching on the sleeve of his black jacket with silent plea. “Osu, are you sure you don't wanna stay?” 

Once again he only gave her a shallow response. “So clingy, love. I already told you I was busy.” 

But this time, the girl couldn’t let it rest. She had been trained to point out any irregularity or change in a person's demeanor since she could remember. It was ingrained into her, and she couldn’t turn it off even if she tried. 

Yes, she was wearing her glasses but it wasn’t that easy with Osamu. She couldn’t see his mannerisms but she could hear them, she could sense them, and that was enough to know that something was very wrong with how he was acting. 

Unable to help herself, Asagao spoke sharply. “Do you honestly think I’d believe such a lie?” 

And for a moment, Dazai paused, his facade cracking for a second before he gave a careless laugh. “I’m not sure what you mean, Asa-chan, I would never lie.” 

But just him saying that was a lie in itself. He thrived off of depiction, that much was very well known, even to Asagao. “I just don’t understand why you are forcing yourself to leave like this. You never want to.” 

Almost immediately, Dazai felt frozen, his hand hovering over the door handle with silent distress. He hoped that Asa would look at his disinterest with the mind of a foolish lovesick girl but that didn’t seem to be the case. Why couldn’t it ever be easy with her?

Of course he had to leave. He couldn’t get comfortable, to allow himself to indulge in the drug that was Oda Asagao. Every single coax, every moment of temptation she had given him he had resisted. Just barely, but it still counted. 

Because Dazai knew that the moment he gave into her, there would be no going back. And that couldn’t happen. Quite honestly, she was making everything harder by clinging on for so long. He hoped she would’ve gotten the message. 

And she did, but it wasn’t the message that he intended. She didn’t see his rejection as indifference, she saw it as it really was, a scared little boy running away from what he really wanted. 

Forcing another chuckle to his lips, Dazai gave her a sly smirk to mask his anxiety. “Well, I do admit it is hard to leave such a beautiful lady alone each time.” 

His first response fell on deaf ears though, Asagao immediately sensing it as deflection. And unlike all the times before, she wasn’t going to let this one go. 

Narrowing her eyes in strange seriousness, she sighed. “Osamu…” 

The boy only turned his head though, pretending not to know what she was trying to imply. “Hmm?” 

Although that’s when he watched her eyes fall with a softness that shook his very foundations. “What’s wrong?” 

Shit, she knew something was wrong, she knew he was forcing himself away. This was bad. He knew she wouldn’t agree with his reasoning either. No, she’d probably encourage his bad little habit of sticking around. 

And that was something he could not have. 

Shoving the feelings down, Dazai simply scoffed, purposely speaking cruelly in order to get her to back off. “Nothing’s wrong, sweetheart. I’m just fulfilling my part of our deal. It’s you that wants me to stick around like this. Not that I can blame you, I am irresistible.” 

Asagao only frowned though, seeing his sugar coated words as another deflection.“Don’t give me that, you’ve been acting weird for months. Do you really think I haven’t noticed? I wouldn’t have bothered you if you really wanted us to be strangers but I can tell that isn’t the case. You are forcing yourself to keep this distance between us. Why?” 

Her words were like a set of draggers, cutting maliciously  into him without permission as she poured out every single analytical thing she had picked up over the last few months. She didn’t pull any punches, leaving him absolutely breathless. 

God, for as enticing as she was, Dazai hated this part of her just as much as he admired it. Because when it was aimed at anyone else it was marvel but when it was aimed at him..well it was his worst nightmare…

And that was because he always felt naked with her, so vulnerable and fragile, stripped away from every single mask and front he had ever put up. It didn’t matter how many layers he tried to cover himself with, she saw through every single one in a blink of an eye. 

It was dangerous, being around her was so dangerous. He could never hide when he was put in front of her eyes, no matter how hard he wished for it. She was always his executioner, his mirror. 

It made his skin crawl with uncomfortable raw emotion, wanting so badly to run away from her and protect himself from her scrutinizing and truth telling tongue. 

Why did she have to perceive what he never wanted to be known and shove it in front of his face time and time again?

He felt like he was going to be sick, the boy forcing himself to keep himself together before she looked into him even deeper. “What you’re seeing is wishful thinking, love.” 

And silently he begged for her to take the bait, to finally back off and take his gaslighting as the truth. But he was never lucky enough for that result. 

Instead, Asagao’s frown only deepened, her heart twisting with rejection in order to do the one thing that had always seemed to get her in trouble. Pushing too far. “Why is it so bad to want to stay? I already said you don’t have to do anything…”

Yet that’s when she heard his voice, strained and cold. “Asagao.” 

And once he got her attention, Dazai forced himself to say the one thing he knew would let him go, even if it was insanely cruel.

He had to, or else he knew she would never let up. “Quit trying to be Odasaku. You won’t replace him.” 

Widening her eyes, Asagao’s felt her heart stab with pain at that, her entire body recoiling back from him with a sharp gasp. Is that what he thought, that she was trying to replace her brother? 

That wasn’t what she was trying to do at all, that wasn’t her intention. She just wanted a friend, not to replace his memory entirely. 

But then again, she supposed in some sort of manner it was like that. She had come to Yokohama, found Osamu and urged him into the same relationship that he had shared with her brother. 

That’s right, she was just a knock off version of what he wanted. A dollar store rip off that didn’t compare to the real thing. How silly of her to expect any different, for him to care for her in the same capacity as he did for Oda. 

Asagao got his message immediately, he was telling her not to overstep her place. 

Not knowing how to respond, she then watched Osamu leave her alone, causing her hand to run across her face in sad revelation before moving back to the small shoe box on the table and opening the top. 

Then the girl reached her hand in order to take out a familiar letter, the one that she had used to calm herself a million times before. The very first message of Osamu’s existence. 

Pushing the letter close to her chest, Asagao then let out a shaky breath, not finding that familiar comfort anymore now that she knew the truth. 

How foolish of her, to think that he wouldn’t leave like all the others.

----

Chapter 12

“Quit trying to be Odasaku.” 

The words slipped from his lips without a second thought, purposely cracking the carefree outer shield that Asagao always wore in order for the boy to see the hurt that he didn't know existed.

For some reason, that phrase wasn’t something she could brush off or use her usual coping mechanism on. No, one look in her eyes and Dazai could tell that it was bigger, that he had touched a spot that broke through her trauma plated armor. 

But in the end it had gotten him what he wanted, the girl no longer stopping him as he walked out of Oda’s apartment without another word, taking that sick nauseating feeling with him. 

She wasn’t trying to take the place of Odasaku, he knew that, but in Dazai’s mind his projection of his own insecurities basically made the result the same. Asagao wasn’t aiming to be Oda but the boy could feel their similarities creeping up his spine even so. 

It didn’t matter if she had good intentions, because the boy had seen her as his dead friend many times before. 

The truth was, Dazai was the one who was searching for Odasaku, he was the one that tried to recreate those feelings with Asagao. 

It wasn’t her fault, it was his own fucked up brain wishing for those mundane and carefree times back. He wanted to stay at her place for weeks on end and eat dinner with her every time she offered. He wanted to tell her stories about her brother and laugh about them throughout the entire night. 

But instead he lashed out, he shoved his own insecurities in her face and caused her to make that heartbreaking expression instead. Guess she was wrong, he couldn’t be a good man after all. He bet she regretted that statement now. 

What a disappointment he was, hurting the one thing that Odasaku held dearly. He tried to warn her that she would be caught in the crossfire of his own destruction but she didn't listen. And now she had paid the price. 

If only she wasn’t so clever, if only she didn’t see through every single one of his defenses. See, this was why he preferred to be around stupid girls, ones that didn’t ask too many questions. It was easier that way, easier to hide in himself. 

But with Asagao he couldn’t do that, and it terrified a part of him he didn’t even know he possessed. She saw him in a way no one else could, she perceived him in a manner that shook him to his very core. 

It was a contradiction, to want to be understood and yet not at the same time. To call out into the sea and pray to be rescued but also hope to be drowned. That was the line that Dazai constantly walked, and the boy knew that he would never be happy with either result. 

Because to be seen, to be perceived was the scariest he could ever imagine. Just the mere idea of such a concept caused his fingers to wrap around the bandages around his arms with a shiver of alarm. 

No, he couldn’t do it. It didn’t matter how much he craved it, how much he wished for it. He couldn’t show anyone these ugly disgusting parts of himself. The walls, the barriers, the armor, they needed to be there forever. 

That’s why he wore the tightly wound gauze in the first place, to hide. To cover himself in order to be able to stand to look at the sight. They shielded him, coddled him far from his inner self, tucking him away emotionally so that no one could ever truly see the scarred and tainted skin underneath. 

They were a necessity, something that Dazai knew he couldn’t live without. 

And just the mere thought of Asagao seeing underneath his bandages almost spiraled him into a panic attack on the spot. No, he couldn’t let her get too close, he couldn’t let her figure out this horrible part of him.

This feeling of insecurity and helplessness, he hated it more than anything. It stuck to his skin like a disease, taunting him with every step. He needed to be ridded of it immediately before it consumed his sad little nonexistent heart completely. 

Mindlessly making his way back to his apartment, the boy then threw open the door before stepping inside the hollow and lonely place without a single word. 

The soothing and happy hum, the sickening smell of sweets, the bright aura that was once there was no longer now that Asagao had left. 

She took all the life with her it seemed. And without her the place had returned back to its usual depressed state. 

Focusing on a corner of a room, Dazai then recalled the massive blanket fort that had graced the space all those months ago. He was so stunned when he first saw it and somewhere in the back of his throat he missed it, simply because all that was left now was just empty space. 

Robotically moving over his bed, the boy then laid back onto the soft mattress with a sigh in order to lift his hand and cover his face as the silence turned into sadness. 

He felt no warmth, no comforting uneasiness that he had with Asagao. No, the boy didn’t feel anything, his entire body numb and nonexistent as he forced himself back to the sad little life he had made for himself. 

Now he was alone, just as he had always been, and just how he would always be. 

------

Six months passed by and Dazai resided in keeping himself busy at all times. Wether it was trying out a new suicide attempt or taking on every single assigment that Mori had offered, the boy had stuck to a schedule in order to keep himself away from tempting lure of Asagao. 

Yes, they still visited each other but the boy made sure to keep it at a surface level and after his careless comment Asagao didn’t seem to object. They were back to being strangers, just like he had always intended them to be. 

Which was why the executive was now standing in the middle of a crossfire, his ears filling up with loud shouts and orders as the air rained down with bullets all around them. 

It was supposed to be a simple job but somehow had turned into an all out war without warning. And though Dazai’s ability made him powerful, it didn’t stop the influx of offensive attacks that were all aimed at him. 

And though he dodged the best he could, the boy wasn’t that lucky as one of his attackers managed to ram his fist into Dazai’s stomach in order for another one of his lackeys to fire a shot in the mafioso’s direction. 

The impact was instant, crashing into his shoulder with a sharp sting of agony as Dazai hissed at the contact. Fuck, that hurt. Didn’t these guys know he didn’t like pain? 

Apparently not, because a second later another gun was aimed at his face, causing the bandaged boy to groan in order to kick the object away with his foot and retreat behind a nearby tree.

Touching the crimson color on his shoulder, he seethed at the pain before watching his fingers coat with dangerous warning. Damn it, he was losing blood fast, so much so the boy already felt dizzy.  

He then heard a shout to his left, the attackers signaling that they had found Dazai only for the boy to grit his teeth and take off running. The last thing he needed was to be captured and tortured by these guys. He did not want to die in a dirty old cell like that. 

Feeling his own heartbeat pound in his ears, the brown haired kid ignored the blurry spots in his vision in order to pant and push further and further into the streets of Yokohama. 

And the fainter he got, the more Dazai wondered if this was really it, if he was finally going to die tonight?

If that was true then it was unfortunate, considering how much his entire body hurt right now. This was no painless way to leave this world, and because of that the boy couldn’t help but be against it. 

But if he was going to die like this then he knew the exact place he wanted to go. 

Forcing his shaky and uncertain legs to move, his fingers leaned against a nearby wall before practically clawing his way to where he needed to go. No, he couldn’t die until he was there, then everything would be okay. 

And soon enough he found it, the steps of Odasaku’s apartment causing a tired smile to cross his lips before his body finally gave out on the steps. 

It only seemed right to go here, this was where it all started after all, where Odaskau had found him all those years ago. 

But even in his delirious state, Dazai knew that no one would save him this time. Odasaku was dead, which meant the only thing left for him now was to join him. 

And as he felt his eyes close with acceptance, the boy whispered to himself. 

“I’m sorry, Odasaku. I failed you.”

-----

Sighing to herself, Asagao strolled through the streets of Yokohama with no particular goal in mind. She didn’t even really know why she was out here but anything was better than wallowing in her own depression she supposed. 

Ever since Osamu’s comment to her three months ago, the two hadn’t been close. Hell, it seemed that they were even more like strangers than before. The two still saw each other, yeah, but it was never about anything but their deal. 

The conversations were shallow and meaningless, leaving her wanting more each time. But Asa knew better than to be selfish again. This was the relationship they had whether she liked it or not. 

And she respected it, even if it was extremely hard to do so. 

Asagao then paused as a group of school girls passed by her, everyone in the group laughing and giggling about some kind of inside joke as one of them gasped. “Hey, you wanna check out the newest cafe? It just opened.” 

Her friend only nodded enthusiastically, obviously eager for the idea. “Yeah, let’s do it!” 

And as they passed by her, Asa couldn’t help but feel her gaze fall with defeat. What did that feel like, to hang out like normal middle schoolers, to have someone to lean on so easily? She didn’t know, she never knew how that felt. 

Because as much as she liked to believe she could be a part of that world, Asa knew in her heart that it was impossible. Something about her was never that way, she could feel it. 

She wasn’t a mafioso nor a normal kid. She didn’t fit in either one of those boxes. The brutality and evilness of it all, the average happy go lucky mold of a giggly middle schooler, they never seemed quite right. 

The sad truth was, Asagao knew she didn’t belong anyway. Not with the mafia, not with the civilians. She was a strange middle ground, a purgatory between heaven and hell, unable to transfer to either side no matter how badly she wanted it. 

Her eyes had made that impossible and now she was stuck on the outside, looking through a glass box of disappointment. 

Hell, even Osamu didn’t like the way she was. 

That much was evident from his comments months ago. It still haunted her, the assumption that she had done all of this to take her big brother's place by his side. It disgusted her to know that it was kind of the truth. 

What was wrong with her? She couldn’t find a place in the darkness or a light so instead she sought after her big brother's position instead? How vile. She hated herself for even thinking about such a thing. 

No wonder Osamu got sick of her. She couldn’t even blame him. 

She didn’t really like herself either. 

Sighing to herself once more, Asa then walked back to her brother’s apartment sadly, not wanting to be out here anymore. She decided to go out to make herself feel better but it seemed even that was a bust. 

The girl then turned the corner to her street only to pause at the sight of a black blur laid across the steps of her brother’s apartment. Hold on, what was that? Someone was sleeping in front of her door? How odd. 

Yet the closer she got, the more she recognized the very familiar brown haired boy, his body coated in blood from an unknown source. Oh my god, what happened to him? “O-Osamu?” 

He didn’t stir at that sound of her voice, his muscles unmoving as Asagao quickly kneed down in order to press a finger to the side of his throat in panic in order to find a pulse. Oh thank god, he wasn’t dead. 

Although the second her fingers graced his skin, Osu’s voice whispered out brokenly, his tone distant and weak as he pleaded softly. “I’m sorry, Odasaku. I failed you.” 

Feeling her face drop at the desperation in his words, Asagao shook her head, moving her hands over to his shoulders with anxiety.

She didn’t know what he was talking about in the slightest but hearing him speak so small and dejected made her heart hurt. “Don’t say that. You haven’t failed anyone.” 

His lack of response to her voice caused Asa to panic, her hands frantically moving under his arms in order to lift his limb body off the steps before stumbling in the process. 

Because they were about the same height and build, she was able to handle his dead weight just barely, silently apologizing to the boy in her head as she dragged his feet across the threshold of Oda’s apartment with another breathy wobble. 

No, she couldn’t keep him out there. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t fully carry him inside, if his feet were still glued to the ground. She would push herself as far as he needed to to make sure he was okay. 

Finally reaching the sofa, Asagao then carefully lowered Osamu’s sweaty and weak body down onto the cushions before quickly grabbing the nearest medical kit she could find in order to sit across from him and start to take off his bloody black jacket. 

Surprisingly enough, Osu didn’t protest to her frazzled hands, his eyes far too heavy and distant to reply as Asagao tried to reach him again. “I’m going to take off your shirt so I can see how deep the wound is, okay?” 

Once again he didn’t answer, causing Asa to continue her plan as her fingers graced the buttons of his black vest, peeling the fabric away before pulling his tie from his neck and untying the knot without a second thought. 

And though her face felt undeniably hot from her methods she shoved the feelings down. Now was not the time to get flustered about these kinds of things. Osamu needed her. She could get embarrassed later, once she found out he was alright. 

Fumbling with the buttons on the white shirt underneath, she then watched the boy hiss as she unstuck the glued-on fabric from his bloody skin only for Asa to whisper sadly. “I’m sorry, I know you don’t like pain but please bear with me. I promise I’ll be as gentle as I can for you.” 

And she was, she was trying to be as light as possible, only touching the fabric from his shirt and not the skin that laid beneath out of respect for his preferences. The last thing she wanted to do was cause him discomfort in any way while he was injured. 

She didn’t want him to think that she was taking advantage of his weak state by going further than what he consented to. 

Being a port mafia executive, she knew it was probably already hard for him to show this vulnerable position and trust anyone with his body, especially to this extent. 

So Asa tried her best, only grabbing onto the fabric as she pulled it from his arms only to find the source of the blood immediately. 

Damn it, he was shot in the shoulder. First she had to get the bullet out and then give him stitches or else he was at risk of bleeding out. 

Quickly opening the first aid kit, Asagao then grabbed a pair of tweezers before moving the objects towards his shoulder with a sharp breath of apprehension, knowing Osu would feel pain from her decision. “I’m so sorry love but this is gonna hurt. I’m gonna need you to be strong for me, okay? Grab my wrist or hold my hand if you need to. I’m right here.”  

The way she called him love , it rolled off her tongue without a second thought, extending her non-dominant hand out to hover in front of him silently before focusing her attention back on his wound. 

Asking a top level member of the mafia to be strong, perhaps it was foolish but she felt the need to say it even so. Because if he was weak in this moment, she wanted him to know that she wouldn’t judge him for it. 

Digging her tweezers into the bloody wound, she felt Osamu’s body tense up, his teeth gritting together with clear discomfort as Asa quickly wrapped the surface around the bullet in order to pull it free. 

Yet even so, the boy didn’t reach out to her at all, his fingers instead clenching the fabric on his pants as Asagao quietly stitched up his open gash with precise precision. 

She didn’t mind though, she didn’t hold the  rejection against him, allowing him to do whatever he felt comfortable with in order to focus on her job.

Being a hellhound had its perks after all, and one of them was firsthand experience with patching herself up as a child. She could do it in a matter of seconds, even with her eyes closed.

The skill was always useful but Asa had never been truly thankful of it till now, knowing that she could ease Osamu of his pain as fast as possible. 

Once she was done, the girl sighed in relief, seeing Osu’s ghostly white fingers relax from his hold only for Asagao to notice the rest of his chest. 

The bandages he always wore were soaked with blood, trailing towards his bare skin in streaks and splotches. 

He couldn’t be comfortable like that, sitting in that kind of reminder. Also what if there were more wounds under all the blood? What if there was something lethal that she couldn’t see? If so then she needed to treat it right away. 

Reaching her fingers forward in anxiety, the tips then hovered on top of his bandages only for Osamu to seemingly wake up from his dazed state, the alarms in his head practically screaming at him to move. 

Hmm? It doesn’t hurt anymore. 

Wait, what is she reaching for? 

Wait, no..anything but that..

And as her fingers started to unravel the coverings, the boy's hand snapped forward with frightening speed in order to latch onto her wrist with a painful death grip of warning. 

He then roughly pulled her hand away from the gauze as Asagao froze at the deadly and dangerous look he was giving her. It was lethal, the sight forcing her to silence immediately. 

His eyes, they only held threats, the iris’ wide and crazed like a cornered wild animal or a demon inside the skin of a boy.

 In this moment Osamu resembled the devil himself, unmoving, unchanging from the hold he had on her. 

But what Asa didn’t know was that the boy inside was spiraling, panicking on the deepest level the moment her fingers graced the shaky and wrapped up emotions that he had always hid away from the world. 

Anything to make her stop, anything to get her to pull away from the hideous and ugly parts that needed to stay buried. No one could see them, especially her. He needed to get her to stop no matter what, even if he had to break her wrist to do so. 

And a second later, he thought about doing just that, his grip tightening with force only for Asagao to notice the slightest tremor in his muscles as he did so. 

The feeling caused Asa’s eyes to fall, her mind not even focusing on the pain in order to take in the boy before her. He was shaking, trembling even though he was trying not to show it. He was scared of her seeing him, of her taking off his bandages. 

A hard ball of emotion coursed through her throat at the sight, knowing the internal fear better than anyone. She was scared to live without her glasses just like he was scared to live without his white colored binds.

To perceive the world, to be perceived yourself, they were frightening concepts for both Asagao and Osamu. They used the physical, the tangible to keep them safe and secure from the possibility of hurt. 

Then, the realization hit Asagao immediately. 

God, he probably felt cornered with her here, watching him with her analytical and prying mind. That’s why he looked so wild and crazed, why he was grabbing her wrist with so much force right now. It was because he was terrified of her looking too deep, of her finding something he wasn’t proud of. 

Dazai only took the silence as suffocation though, each moment causing his heart to twist and turn with even more breathless panic as he forced his words to move to no avail. 

He wanted to scream, to yell at her, to threaten her and hurt her so badly that she would never dare to touch him ever again like that. 

His mind spun, delirious from his wound, the horrors and nightmares of his past and present swirling around him in a psychotic and madened circle only to watch as Asa closed her eyes with a small smile of acceptance. 

And when she spoke, it was soft, barely above a whisper. “It’s okay, I understand now.”

Wait, what did she mean she understood? Why was she looking like that? He was hurting her, he was so close to breaking her wrist. She should’ve been scared or disgusted by his weak panic. 

But what kind of face was that? 

Yet that’s when his dizzy and faint expression followed her movements, the girl slowly pulling away from his vice grip before reaching for his black discarded tie in order to hold it between her fingers. 

Asagao then wordlessly slipped off her large round glasses before replacing the objects with the black colored fabric, purposely blinding herself from his view before turning back to him. 

And with just three tiny words, he was stunned into silence. “You’re safe now.” 

Widening his eyes the boy felt the meaning crash into him almost instantly. They carved into Dazai without permission, his eyes widening at the feeling before his weakened and shaking fingers couldn’t help but grip onto the fabric of his pants in response. 

Safe. 

She said he was safe. That concept, he never knew the meaning until now. 

They were just three little words and yet Dazai somehow knew what they meant immediately. She was telling him that he was safe from being perceived, that he didn’t have to worry about her finding his insecurities and ugly tainted soul. 

Even though she had noticed, Asagao didn’t tell him to get over it, she didn’t push forward, she didn’t force him past his comfort. 

She instead blinded herself for his sake, to give him comfort, to give him security, to ease his trembling and terrified mind before he unraveled right in front of her face. It was so kind, so unbelievably meaningful that Dazai didn’t know how to take it. 

How could someone truly be this perfect, how could they truly understand such a thing so clearly with little to no words. Without judgment, without persecution? He didn’t think it was possible. 

Reaching her hands forward, Asagao then hovered back over the looming bandages still soaked with blood in order to continue to unravel them, her lips playing in a soft blissful hum as she did so. 

The sound caught in his ears immediately, distracting him from her touch as he watched her careful fingers never reach towards his skin, strictly keeping them on the gauze almost like she knew the sensitivity and vulnerable weakness it would cause by straying too far. 

And as his ugly scarred skin started to appear underneath, a self conscious look crossed his face, the boy thankful that Asa couldn’t see such a weak display. 

But even though her eyes were covered, just her mere presence in front of his ugly skin was enough for the boy’s face to flush in order to look away with a shaky uncertain breath.

It didn’t matter that she couldn’t actually see, this was the most intimate he had ever gotten with someone before. 

And he didn’t mean intimacy in terms of sex either, although it would be wrong to call his hookups intimate on any level considering his methods were to just bend them over and get it over with as fast as possible. 

But this was different than the physical intimacy that he was used to. No, this was something bigger, something far more deep and personal then he had never experienced before.

This was emotional intimacy. The act of being mentally vulnerable, of trusting someone to keep you safe in your most weakened state. It was to allow the walls to crumble down and allow someone to cross your barriers even though it was terrifying to do so. 

Dazai then realized that sex was easy, far easier than whatever this was. It didn’t have feelings, it didn’t force him to show the absolute worst parts of himself and strip him down emotionally to his very core like this.

But even so, the boy allowed Asagao to continue, her hands finally gathering up the old bloody bandages in order to toss them on the ground before reaching down in order to find his hand. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

And he hated how he physically flinched at the contact, unable to stop the weak response now that he was vulnerably naked in front of her. He felt more sensitive than before, the slightest touch urging him to recoil back into his shell. 

She seemed to notice the response immediately, her fingers quickly pulling him up before he felt his bare arms rest against the fabric of her shirt in order to take him over to Oda’s bathroom just a couple feet away. 

And because it wasn’t skin to skin contact, the boy found it easier, resting his weary body on her shirt in order for her to lower him into the tub with a type of care that he thought wasn’t physically possible.

Then he watched as she turned around in order to gather up the bottle of shampoo and conditioner along with a cloth that was sitting on a shelf behind her with ease. 

He wondered how she did it, how she managed to wander around the bathroom even without being able to see? 

Well, he supposed it was because of her glasses. She couldn’t see either way so being blindfolded by his tie was probably nothing different in terms of view. 

Then like magic, it seemed like she had read his mind. “I bet you’re wondering how I’m so good at this. Well, being blindfolded was a part of my training to be a hellhound. I’ve learned to catalog objects in physical spaces. Being out on the streets I’m sure I’d have a little more trouble but in a familiar environment like this, seeing isn’t a necessity.” 

She was grateful for it now, this little trick of hers, simply because Asa knew this was something only she could do for Osamu. Anyone else would’ve fumbled and struggled in the darkened world she willingly created but not her. 

No, she thrived in it, more than Osu would ever know. 

Wetting the cloth with running water, Asa then sat on her knees in order to bring the fabric to Osamu’s chest before feeling him twitch and flitch at the contact. He was in a fragile state right now so she had to be careful. 

And careful she was, her fingers moving across the bumpy and raised scarred skin ever so slowly in order to wash every bit of blood she felt between her touch, cleansing him of his sins without a second thought. 

Softening her eyes through the blindfold, she heard his quiet responses immediately. The shaking uneven breath, the feeling of his rising and falling chest of uncertainty with each move, somehow she knew that he was watching her, prepared to pull away at any moment. 

It only made her even more determined though, wanting to show him just how much she cared about him, to show how monumental this boy was to her very existence. She wanted to give him the world, to prove to him that it was okay to be weak and uncertain in front of her. 

Once she didn’t feel any more blood, Asagao then directed her attention to the bottle of shampoo to her left in order to pour a small amount on her hand as she heard Osu question softly. “What are you doing?” 

Smiling towards his voice, Asa replied. “I noticed you had blood in your hair before.” 

There was a silence then, almost like he was trying to decipher her sentence before she tilted his head back in order to gently massage the shampoo into his fluffy soft hair. 

She heard his voice then, far smaller than it was before. “You don’t have to do this.” 

Feeling her eyes close under the blindfold, Asagao only nodded her head in reply. If only he knew how far she’d go for him, how much he meant to her ever since she was a child. This was nothing. 

Asagao’s fingers then paused on his scalp before answering honestly. “I know, I want to.” 

She then began to hum again, hoping it would distract him from his nerves and allow him to enjoy the gentle feeling of her fingers in his hair. He deserved to feel comforted and safe more than anything else. 

And he did, Dazai did feel comfortable with her movements, the soft humming lulling his muscles to sink further in the tub without permission in order to close his eyes and get lost in the moment. 

His bare unbandaged skin shivered at her touch, the knot in his stomach still existent and yet not overwhelming as he felt himself drown in the warmth of her very presence. 

Why she would ever want to do this was beyond him. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to feel this good, to be cared for to this extent, or any extent really.

 But even so, his greedy little soul couldn’t help but give into the temptation of it all. How could he not when she was singing so sweetly and touching him like he was the most precious thing in the entire universe?

God, he wanted to stay here forever, to die perfectly between those fingers of hers and drift away from this world entirely. How peaceful would that be, to go in a state of pure bliss like this one? 

Yet just as he thought that, her touch disappeared, causing the boy to resist the urge to reach out and desperately plead for it back as he watched her put the bottles back on the shelf.

He then felt his body lift back up to rest on her shirt as Asago quietly took him to Oda’s bedroom in order to carefully lay him on the mattress with just as much fragile care as before.

Reaching into her pocket, Dazai then watched her pull out two rolls of freshly bound bandages in order to show the boy. “Would you like to put them on or do you want me to help?” 

The answer should’ve been immediate. Who cares if he was suffering from blood loss, he didn’t need help, he needed to quickly get his bandages back on in order to feel protected again.

Asa helping him would result in her having to touch his skin, and that was a terrifying thought. 

Yet if that was the case, why did he instead reach his hand out to grasp her wrist and not the bandages? Why did he squeeze the skin in a silent wordless plea of weakness?

And why did she answer so softly in response? “Of course, love.” 

Love. She called him love. She had used his pet name against him again but this time it wasn’t in vain, it wasn’t to mock him or poke fun. No, somehow this time that name held so much more power than it had ever before. 

Asagao then slowly began to unwrap the white colored gauze before pushing her hand out towards his vision with a small smile. “Hold out your arms, I’ll be careful. I promise.” 

His muscles complied almost instantly, the boy pushing out his scarred and disgusting arms before Asagao carefully covered the sights with the bandages, her fingers still mindful not to touch the skin as she did so. 

Her contact still caused him to flinch though, Dazai resisting the urge to pull back as her hands then moved to his face in order to rewrap his eye and then his chest. 

He watched her every movement, glued to the sight until everything was finally back in place. Now he could finally breathe behind his constructed walls again. Now he wasn’t so vulnerable. 

And it seemed Asagao sensed that as well, her hands moving towards the black tie around her eyes before pulling the fabric away in order for her hollow and distant gaze to finally meet his. “There, that’s better. Hang on, I think Oda had some old shirts in here that you could use..” 

Turning around, the girl then pulled open a couple drawers before pulling out a large white and black striped button down shirt, the sight causing Dazai’s eyes to soften immediately. He had seen that piece of fabric a million times before. It was one of Odasaku’s favorites. 

Asagao then moved back over to him before carefully helping his fatigued body into the shirt, her fingers fixing up the buttons as Dazai looked down and cataloged the distance between them, which was minuscule at best. 

Then once she was done with the top button, she smiled before looking up only to find Osamu staring straight at her, their lips only about a couple inches away from each other. 

But like the idiot she was, Asagao didn’t flush at the distance, a stupid smile moving to her lips in order to lean back like absolutely nothing had shaken her. 

But did that also mean that Dazai wasn't effect either? Well that was another story entirely. 

Humming to herself, Asagao then clapped her hands before turning around in order to face the doorway. “Perfect, now get some rest. Oh, and don’t worry about taking the bed, you need it more than me.” 

But as she started to walk away, Dazai felt a sense of panic course through his throat, the delusional and dizzying blood loss of his injuries causing him to confuse reality and fiction. 

The similar features, the blinding red hair, the black and white shirt on his body, suddenly it was like seeing Odasaku all over again. 

He felt tortured with familiar deja vu, the memory of the man walking away from him, of slipping through his fingers, it scared him more than anything else. 

He didn't want her to go, he didn’t want her to end up like Odasaku. 

Reaching his hand forward, Dazai’s shaking fingers stopped her hand, a desperation in his throat as he willed the weakness to seep from his lips. “Please don’t go.” 

And for a moment Asagao was stunned. She had never heard Osamu plead before, it broke her heart to witness it. To see him so scared and fragile, so desperate to hold onto her. 

Immediately turning around, Oda’s sister then moved back up to him before reaching into her pocket in order to pull out Osu’s black port mafia tie again and wrap half of it around the palm of her hand. 

Then she leaned down before wrapping the other half around Osamu’s palm, the fabric welcoming against skin before she spoke gently. “ I promise I’ll be right here when you wake up. See? We are connected. I’m not going anywhere, not until you tell me to.” 

The connection was enough to relax his shoulders, feeling the tether between his skin as he allowed his eyes to get heavier and sink down into the bed with a sigh of relief. 

But even so, he resisted the pull, knowing that he would find Odasaku’s blood between his fingers the moment he closed his eyes completely. No, he didn’t need it. He didn’t need to rest. 

His stubbornness was not lost on Asagao though, her expression turning into a sad frown before parting her lips with a small breath. He wasn’t letting himself relax, forcing his body to keep going even though it was physically breaking down before him. 

There had to be something she could do to ease his nerves, to allow him to breathe. 

Then she recalled the way his body reacted to the sound of her small little tune in the bath, feeling the need to recreate such a reaction again. Except this time, she wanted him to understand her, to verbally showcase the hidden meaning that was there since the beginning. 

And that’s when Dazai heard it again, her humming, the sweet sound like a siren song. Except this time it was different, her vague melody turning into words, into feelings he could not comprehend.  

~ It’s easy to push me away from you. Easy to say you want to be left on your own, it’s what you have told yourself. Over and over again in darkness, you try to hold back all the thoughts ~

His wandering thoughts couldn’t help but still immediately, soaking each word through his clouded mind in order to push his lips together with a trembling breath of realization. These lyrics, they were a reflection, a mirror of what he could never voice out loud. 

But before he could analyze it further, Dazai felt her gentle fingers coast across the top of his hair, barely gliding off the surface and lulling his muscles further into the mattress as a strange state of calm coursed through him. 

It was like she knew the kind of effect her moves had on him, the boy completely and utterly entranced by her in every possible way in order to feel his eyes grow heavier and heavier without permission.

~But you know, I just want you as you are, just the you that I see right before me. It’s all that has been on my mind ~

The words he thought he’d never hear, the feelings he knew he didn’t deserve, they gently rested on his chest, coaxing him further and further down to drown in them all together. 

And he wanted to, he never wanted to come up for air again if it meant dying to the sound of her absolute adoration. 

~Lend me your voice, let me see your face, let me start to show you what I see. Bring me close, let me feel the beat of your heart, the secrets you bury. Lend me your voice~

Yet as the actual lyrics flooded far from his understanding, the feelings remained in order for Dazai’s eyes to finally give into the temptation, the feeling of invisible hands rocking him gently and completely into utter submission. 

And for the first time in his life, the port mafia executive, the boy who had never once allowed himself to rest, finally felt free from his self made chains.

Yes, perhaps this was all a dream, perhaps when he woke up he’d be back in the darkness, in the emptiness of his port mafia apartment. 

But for now, he allowed himself to indulge in it even so. 

He allowed himself to feel safe.

----

Feeling as his heavy lidded eyes forced their way open, Dazai turned his head with a muttered groan before yawning back the tiredness in his throat. He was drowsy, not knowing anything but the soft plush mattress underneath him. 

Yet that’s when the boy felt himself freeze, his eyes sharply opening before realization crashed into him almost instantly. He slept? No, there was no way. Dazai didn’t sleep, he hadn’t in months. There was no way he would’ve allowed himself such a thing. 

And not only that, as the boy searched his own mind he found no recollection of nightmares. That couldn’t be right either. Everytime he closed his eyes he found Odasaku’s death. 

Why was this time different, why didn’t he wake up in a panic attack with his heartbeat in his ears? Why didn’t he hear his own voice scream out and wake himself up? Why had everything instead been, calm?

Not understanding, the boy then frowned before trying to move his hand to his head only to find something wrapped around the surface of his palm. Hold on, what was..

Yet that's when Dazai turned towards the source only for his eyes to widen at the sight of Asagao’s body scrunched up and laying on the floor by him, her arms and head buried on top of the mattress as she slept peacefully beside him. 

Her hand was extended out, causing the boy’s heart to skip at the sight of the tethered black tie that connected their two hands together. And although it was just a simple piece of fabric, the implications of it were something that Dazai struggled to comprehend. 

She was sleeping so uncomfortably just to stay by his side. Why? 

Then all at once, the events of last night flashed in his mind, causing his face to flush in memory. No, that wasn’t a dream? Asagao really saved him last night? She took care of him like that, she touched his bandages. 

The knowledge itself brought the boy into a spiral. Damn it, why did he do that? Why did she have to see such a weak and pathetic side of himself? Some self control he had, unraveling before Oda’s sister’s fingers like that. 

He had done everything he had promised himself not to do. Those walls that he had tried so hard to keep up between them were destroyed so quickly and cruelly that he couldn't help but wither.  

And god, he hated that he loved every bit of it, that his soul hungered for more of her gentle touch and sugar coated words. They reached a part of himself he didn’t even know existed,  a part that craved to be taken care of and coddled like a child. 

Although the moment his hand moved, the tie connecting them seemed to shake Asa awake as well, her head lulling to the side before realizing that he was lucid. “O-Oh! Osamu. How are you doing, do you need anything, are you okay?”  

That was the question, wasn’t it? Was he okay? Because he knew that he wasn’t. The way he was feeling now, the warmth that had spread through his entire body, it wasn’t natural, it wasn’t like him. Fuck, he was so grateful for her that he could hardly breathe, could hardly speak it out into the air. 

What was she doing to him, what kind of tricks was she pulling to make him think such dangerous non deserving thoughts? 

He then watched her seemingly jump up from the floor in order to flap her arms around like a nervous chicken. “W-Wait, I have to check if you have a fever. I think I saw a thermometer around that first aid kid somewhere. I’ll go get it.” 

Yet as he watched her go, Dazai couldn’t help but sense the underlying kindness behind her words. It would’ve been easier to just put her hand to his forehead in order to check for a fever but instead she was going through so many lengths in order to not cross his comfort zone. 

No one had ever touched him like that before, after all, he had never allowed it and instead of Asagao ignoring his fear she was respecting it, just like she had done last night by blinding herself with his tie and mindfully avoiding his skin. 

She was always so kind, so tender and soft with him, it almost made Dazai want to break apart again right then and there. So much so, he felt his hand reach out without warning in order to latch onto her wrist tightly. 

Not understanding, Asagao paused immediately, her body turning back to Osamu only to see him hesitate. The air turned silent and still, causing the girl to step closer in concern. 

He wasn’t speaking but there was clearly something on his mind. “Osamu?” 

Giving him space to respond, she then felt Osu’s hand pull her back towards him before lifting her wrist upwards with uncertainty, his movements stopping for a second as Asa allowed him to do so. 

Then she watched him take in a shaky uneven breath, pushing the palm of her hand up to his forehead as her fingers ghosted over the skin before physically flinching at the touch in order for his hold to tighten on her wrist with clear anxiety. 

But even so, Osu didn’t pull away, his hand unmoving in order to finally let go of her wrist as Asa audibly gasped at the meaning. 

Could it really be? He was allowing her to touch him. This scared little boy, this trembling hand, they trusted her enough to cross a boundary that was off limits to the entire world. It made her want to cry in realization.

So much so that Asagao complied with the request, the palm of her hand carefully pressing against the bare skin of his forehead in order to feel for a temperature and make sure that he hadn’t gotten a fever from the bullet wound. 

Yet the more pressure she applied, the more she heard Osamu sharply breathe, his skin practically quivering at the foreign and vulnerable feeling of human to human contact. 

It was minuscule sure, but his strength meant the world to her. Finally, he was attempting to let someone in, to see through his thinly veiled facade, the one he used time and time again. 

And for Dazai, the feeling was overwhelming, his entire face burning with self conscious embarrassment in order for the pound of his heartbeat to overtake every one of his senses

He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t feel anything but the lightheaded sensation from the touch on his skin. 

His mind wanted to run, the tenseness of his muscles ever telling. But for some other reason, he couldn’t look away, he couldn’t find the strength to lean back or rip the feeling off no matter how hard he tried. 

The boy then felt the light ghost of her touch trickle down, her fingertips descending to his cheek before crandling the surface as his own nerves jumped through his skin. 

They were eye level now, Dazai’s brown attentive gaze locking onto her hollow one before a wordless breath passed between them. Then all at once, he felt himself fall into the surface immediately, cataloging the teal undertones in the Odasaku blue. 

So pretty, so memorizing. So perfect.

Although that’s when Asagao seemingly snapped out of her trance and the same time as him in order to reel backwards with an embarrassed gasp. Ah, what was she doing?! She got so caught up that she forgot that she wasn’t wearing her glasses right now. 

Staring so directly at someone like that, she couldn’t take it anymore. 

Ignoring the hot flush on her cheeks, Asa then took another step backwards before unraveling the black tie from her palm absentmindedly with a rushed chuckle. “Anyways, your temperature feels normal. That’s good, I’m glad you’re okay. You really scared me last night. Good thing I found you right in time.” 

She then bunched the back fabric in her hands before adding casually. “Although I’m sure you would’ve preferred if Oda had helped you instead..” 

It was obvious who he preferred after all, and the only reason he had allowed her to fix him back up was because Odasaku couldn’t do it. 

Osu didn’t want her, not really. She was just the only thing there. But either way, Asagao was happy to have helped him at that moment. Even if she wasn’t her brother, the one that Osamu really wanted, she was still grateful that he had granted her such a fragile moment.

Watching her sadly laugh the comment away, Dazai’s mind couldn’t help but return to the cruel statement he had given her all those months before back when he self projected his own insecurities onto her. 

It still affected her, he could tell just from the tone of her voice. She looked at herself as so insignificant, so unimportant compared to her big brother but he knew that wasn’t the case. 

Because as much as he loved Odasaku, as much as he cherished him with his entire heart, Dazai knew that his friend wouldn’t have acted the way Asagao did last night. 

He spoke from experience after all, considering Oda had found him in the same manner all those years ago. But the man never saw through him like Asa did, he never attempted to meet his insecurities and treat him with such gentle hands. 

Odasaku’s methods were more practical. He would patch up the boy and then take him out for a drink. He wouldn’t push past his walls or even bother to speak about the boundaries he had put in place. 

And that’s where the two siblings differed.

 Because while Oda chose to ignore it, Asa could not. It was physically impossible for her to do so, and because of that she had pulled him out of his own self isolating box with careful devotion. 

Pushing his lips together in conflict, the boy searched for the words to respond, never having such trouble before. Dazai usually talked at a mile a minute and yet at this moment he seemed at a loss. 

So instead, he borrowed from her lips, remembering the overwhelming feeling he felt when she had first said the specific phrase and hoping that it would do the same for her. “I’m glad it was you.” 

All at once, Asagao felt herself freeze in pure shock, her eyes widening as she recalled the words instantly. That’s what she had told him right before falling asleep on his shoulder all those months ago. 

She told him that when he was insecure about being the subject of Oda’s letters. He thought he wasn’t worthy enough to be a foundation in her life like he had been. 

And he was wrong of course. She was happy that he existed, that he was one that she had attached herself to over the years. He was everything to her, and she wanted him to know that. 

But hearing him say that to her, hearing Osamu so openly express his thankfulness for her presence, her validation for being something meaningful in his life brought a wave of emotion she couldn't control. 

Was he saying what she truly thought he was? He was glad that she saved him? He was glad that she was there last night instead of Oda? No, it couldn’t be. No one wanted her around, no one was glad that she was alive. 

She had already come to terms with it, forced herself to not notice the hurt that each rejection brought, and here in Yokohama she thought it would have been the same. 

So hearing his desire for her presence caused Asagao her heart to falter immediately.

He was glad that she was here . 

Just then, she saw Osamu’s face drop with concern only for her mind to wonder what caused such an expression. Why was he looking at her like that?

Yet that’s when she felt the distant presence of wet realization only for Asagao to push her shaky hands up to her cheeks and find tears descending down her face. Wait, she was crying? She had never allowed herself to do that before. 

Immediately gasping at the sight, Asa then blinked back to life before brushing the insecurity from her fingers in order to give an embarrassed laugh under her breath. “S-Sorry, I just thought I’d never hear that.” 

Dazai only sat wordless though, his heart twisting in pain at the sight of her strange tears. He didn’t like seeing her like that, it made him feel sick, like something restless had shaken him. 

Did she truly believe that? All this time, she thought she would never be meaningful to someone? How absurd. She was a marvel, a rarity that anyone would be lucky to have next to them. 

Who wouldn’t have killed to have her fingers massage their scalp like she did for him? Who wouldn't have given up everything in the world to receive just a sliver of the overwhelming adoration and devotion from her? 

The whole world had undermined her so unfairly. But Dazai didn’t, he knew how exceptional she was firsthand, down to the deepest depths of her heart. 

So much so, the boy felt his eyes drop with realization. It was too late, wasn’t it? He had already lost the game, he had gotten attached. Wholeheartedly, selflessly and completely. 

Keeping a distance, stepping away, it didn’t help one bit. In fact, it only made him desire her presence even more, like it was the air he needed to keep on breathing. 

What had she done? What a mistake it was, making him cling to her like this. 

Didn’t she know he couldn’t let go now? 

Pushing his eyes back up to Asagao’s, the boy then called back to her, giving up completely and allowing himself to break the wall between them. “So, what’s for dinner?” 

The look on her face was one he would never forgot, a sight to behold indeed

Without even thinking about it, Asagao immediately grabbed onto his metaphorical hand and fell straight into the pit without second thought as her shock filled eyes morphed into giddy excitement. 

And though he said nothing else, Asagao knew the hidden meaning behind his question immediately. 

He was asking to stay. 

-----

(Hope you liked the long update and you made it all the way through. The two parts connect to each other so I guess It's not all bad that I missed an upload here. I'll be better about it though. Also I'm almost at 1k reads on A03. Very excited! Let me know how you feel about the chapter. I love validation just as much as Asa hehe)

Song used in the chapter: "Lend Me Your Voice" from Belle (which is totally Asa and Osu's song in this fic.)

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai bsd #dazai #dazai x reader #dazai x female reader #bsd writing #bsd #dazai x odasaku!sister #bungo stray dogs odasaku #odasaku sakunosuke #ao3 fanfic #a03 writer #a03 fanfic #a03 fic #read on a03 #writing fanfic #fanfic writing #dazai fifteen #fanfiction #osamu x reader #Youtube

[ashleyh713fanfics]

“Building Walls” Dazai Osamu Song

(Hello! I wrote a small wip for a Dazai song while working on the next chapter chapter for my fanfic. Thought I’d share it here also. I posted to Tik Tok as well if you wanna support me over there. I write lots of songs and stuff. @auranova_vtuber)

Wanna read my Dazai x Female Character Fanfic? A03 link here

Lyrics:

I want you to want me But never to touch me I need you to see me But never to perceive me

I know you so clearly My tricks are so revealing Subversion oh so easy No longer human, greedy

I show the canvas But never the picture You take an image with a blurry offset fixture

A smile of fools The crafted response Anything to get you to lower your guard And never look into my heart

Cause what you’ll find Isn’t clean or new Imperfect skin scarred and etched into

All pushed together by The worlds flimsiest glue With deceiving words I always Feed to you Wrapped by tightly By a layer of gauze Pull back the cause You’ll see the facade Of the scared little boy Who drowns in his calls Always left unanswered Always building walls

And he’s scared Cause he knows they’ll be disappointed With what you find He’s prepared He hates himself so of course They’d conclude the crime

(Let me know if I should finish this and if you want more. I love writing some good angst hehe)

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #bsd odasaku #dazai angst #fanfic #dazai bsd #pm dazai #dazai #song #bsd #Dazaiangst #bsd angst

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch10

Chapter 10: "Maybe With You, This Could Be Home"

Summary: A power struggle between the fifteen year old boy and the demon that lays within him. Which is the truth, and which is a fabrication?

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, dazai self destructing, Odasaku death mentions, dazai torturing himself and everyone around him, manipulative behavior from both sides, mori mentions and grooming themes, underage drinking, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter ten of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Oda's death has been moved up to when Dazai is fifteen for plot purposes. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 8k total

One Year Ago

Sitting across their usual spots at Bar Lupin, Ango and Oda waited patiently for their other friend to join them only for the glasses-wearing informant to break the silence first. “I still don’t know what to make of that boy..” 

Odasaku only raised an eye though, his fingers reaching around the golden colored alcohol in front of him without a care in the world.  “Who, Dazai?” 

Nodding once, Ango frowned. “Yeah, that kid is like an enigma. I can’t ever understand what he’s thinking. What about you, Odasaku? Do you understand him?”

The red haired man paused then, his head lifting up the ceiling in order to think about his question. He had known Dazai for a couple years now, ever since he had shown up in front of his doorstep covered in blood. 

He could still picture it like it was yesterday, the events that brought him here. “Well, I don’t think anyone could ever truly understand him, but I have a couple ideas..”

Leaning forward in interest, Ango coaxed. “Please share..”

And for a moment, Odasaku’s mind traveled back to a certain red haired girl that he had known maybe just as well as the boy. Perhaps that is how he could come to these conclusions, because he was drawing experience from somewhere else. 

Pushing his head down to stare back at his liquor, Oda spoke honestly. “He's sharp witted with a mind like a steel trap..”

Stopping himself then, the man pushed his lips in silent thought. Yes, that was common knowledge, something even he was sure Dazai knew already. He was a port mafia executive after all, the youngest in the history of the organization. 

But there was something else, something that not even the boy probably realized. Something that he tried to hide, and yet would always be buried deep underneath. 

 “And he's just a child━a sobbing child abandoned in the darkness of a world far emptier than the one we're seeing.”

------

Present

Hours. 

Dazai spent hours with his victims, his fingers sticky with blood as he finally threw the descared knife on the ground of the unmoving and unrecognizable man. He had done what Mori had requested, what he was designed to do with his own horrible monstrous hands. 

He had slashed his knife through every single pathetic whining baby that Mori had brought in front of him and made them talk one by one until there was no more.

All the information was received, and now there was nothing left but to stare blankly at the dead body in order for the heart crushing disappointment and guilt to quietly suffocate him with each breath. 

He didn’t feel like a man or boy. He didn’t feel any sense of humanity anymore, that fleeting feeling back in Mori’s office now completely and utterly dissipated. Now there was only the demon, the monster that laid beneath it all. 

Numb, empty, a hollow shell that’s all he was. 

He vaguely heard the sound of footsteps only to feel his boss’ hands grace his shoulders from behind, eyeing the work with satisfaction. “I knew you could do it. Good job, Dazai.” 

The boy didn’t respond though, his body unmoving at Mori’s fingers clawed deepered into his jacket with ease. “Oda was a fool to treat you like a child. In fact, it was wrong to assume you could ever be one. You have been and will always be so much more than that.” 

His tone was cruel and mocking, like he was proving some kind of sick point and Dazai knew that’s why he did this. The boss was proving to the executive that he was right all along, that he didn’t deserve the term “child” not when it held the connotation of innocence and naivety. 

That he could pretend, he could wish for himself to be a fifteen year old boy but in reality that would never be the case. Odasaku’s gentle manner towards him was a lie, that's what Mori wanted to get across. 

And he had, he really did, because looking down at the mutilated body and bloodied clothes stuck to his skin, Dazai didn’t feel like anything else but a monster, a demon prodigy and an inhuman machine. 

He had desecrated his best friend's final wish, he had mocked Odasaku’s sister’s kind words, he had disappointed and betrayed both of them in the worst way possible. What was wrong with him? Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he change? 

Death was the only thing that he deserved now. He deserved to be wiped from this earth completely without a single trace. But even a sweet release seemed unworthy from his grasp now. 

Feeling the hands fall from his shoulders, Mori then took a step back before allowing his puppet to be swallowed by the darkness completely. “Now, have a wonderful night. Dazai. You’ve earned it.” 

The next few minutes were a blur, the brown haired mafioso robotically moving to the nearby sink in order to run the scalding hot water on his skin to rid of the blood before slowly undoing his bandages around his arms in order to clutch the metal sides with silent despair. 

He couldn't even bring himself to look into the mirror, already knowing what he was going to find. A disappointment, a traitor and a lifeless corpse staring back at him. No, he didn’t want to see, he didn’t want to come to terms with such a sight. 

Silently re-wrapping the hideous sight with a new batch of gauze, Dazai then stepped back with a sigh. And though the blood was physically gone, he could still feel it. Coating his skin, corrupting his mind like some sort of punishment. 

He couldn’t just simply erase what he had done here today. 

The world wasn’t ever that kind. 

Muscle memory then seemed to bring him back to the familiar apartment buildings he seemed to always slump back to, the demon’s steps slow and silent as he passed by hoards of faces he couldn’t care enough to recognize or acknowledge. 

And as the elevator sounded, Dazai knew what he’d find when he stepped into his sad, pathetic and suffocating apartment. 

It was the same as always. He knew that he would probably drink himself to sleep, or some sort of equivalent of that while sitting inside his dark isolated space without a single sound. 

Always wallowing, always drowning. Nothing more and nothing less. 

Pushing open the door to the entryway, Dazai’s blank and clouded body then reached for the black jacket on his body in order to throw the object onto the floor without a single care and fully step inside the place. 

And then he was alone, standing in solitude like he always was. 

Yet that’s when his foot couldn’t help but tap against something on the floor in front of him, the mafioso stopping for the first time since arriving only to register a small sleeping body curled up into herself. 

The move caused her to stir though, groaning before her drunken and sleepy coated expression lazily gazed up at the boy in order for her to yawn through her words. “Oh, you’re back. Sorry, I don’t know how I got here. Guess I got a little sleepy while waiting for you. But look, I’m here as promised!” 

Dazai then watched as the red haired girl then scrambled to her knees in order for her lips to curve upwards in adoration for his very presence. “Welcome home, Osamu.” 

At the sound of her voice, the boy felt the numb constraint on his body dissipate.

Oh. 

That’s right. He wasn’t alone. Oda’s sister was here. He had left her here and she had promised to welcome him back. What a foolish and stupid little thing, and yet she had honored it even so. She had even gone as far as to sleep in front of his door like this so she wouldn’t miss him. What an idiot. 

He then watched as she pushed herself back to her feet, stumbling a bit in the process in shaky unreliably before beaming happily. “Oh! Now that you’re here, I gotta show you my surprise! Come on, take a look!” 

Reaching forward in order to grab onto his hand, Asa then felt herself freeze before she made contact in order to reel back with an apologetic smile, almost like she had forgotten about his fear of touch in her excitement. 

 She recovered quickly though, simply skipping away from him in order for the boy to look down at his hand and close it in response. She was always so considerate of him, even while drunk. 

Yet, the second Dazai stepped closer into his apartment, the boy couldn’t help but freeze at the sight before him. Gone were the blank and empty walls, replaced by the warm glow of string lights, the sight almost like tiny little fireflies as he couldn’t help but move even closer. 

The tables in front of him were filled with various candies and unhealthy junk food, covering the entire surface along with a giant blanket fort in the center of the room, the sheets revealing dozens of pillows and cute stuffed animals inside. 

Pushing herself back in front of his vision, Asa then clapped her hands together. “Ta da! It’s a sleepover! I’ve heard about these things from people at my school and I’ve always wanted to try it! Look, there are snacks and pillows and we can even watch movies or tell scary stories!” 

Dazai couldn’t help but scoff in disbelief at what she was suggesting though. “You’re inviting a port mafia executive to a sleepover?” 

She only laughed at his negative response though, already hurrying over to the small opening just a couple feet away. “Yeah! I mean, why not? We are still kids, you know. Gotta enjoy this stuff before we become boring old grown ups. Now, come on! There is plenty of room in here!”

Kids.

 There was that word again. It was like the universe was mocking him with it, taunting him with a term he could never attach himself to. Tonight had proved that. 

How dare she, didn’t she know what he did? Didn’t she know about the phantom blood that was coating his hands even now? What a ridiculous statement she had just uttered. 

And looking at this display, the warm and welcoming aura was literally the exact opposite of the cold and dark port mafia basement that he had drowned in for the last mind-numbing hours. He didn’t know how to take it, this sudden whiplash and change. 

So much so, Dazai felt his unstable mind start to falter, his fingers twitching in response before falling back into the old habits that were familiar and safe. He needed to, he needed to show Asagao that he couldn’t have what she was suggesting. 

He didn’t need it. He was far too tainted for it. 

Reaching his hands forward, Dazai’s fingers then roughly wrapped against Asa’s wrist before purposely swiping her drunken feet underneath her, the girl falling back onto the waiting pillows only for the boy to appear above her just like with any other whore that wandered into his place. 

Asagao’s eyes couldn’t help but widen at the gesture, now finding the bandaged captive holding her down by her wrists, the distance barely breathable between the two. 

The executive then smirked deviously in order to twist the tips of his fingers around the longest strand of hair he could find. Anything to corrupt this seemingly innocent construct she had built.  “Oh sweetheart, I’d much rather continue where we left off in that elevator.” 

Leaning forward, Dazai’s cruel gaze then locked with her confused little eyes before forcing his knee into the space between her legs, pulling them just slightly apart in a tease as he pressed himself deeper into her. 

And though he had no plans to actually go through with anything, he needed to get it through her thick head how wrong she was for saying that stupid little phrase. “I mean, you didn’t seriously think that this is what I meant by you spending the night? Oh how innocent you are, darling. So defenseless against a man like me. I guess I have to show you what I mean firsthand. Hmm?” 

Then to prove his point, Dazai shifted his head to the left in order to teasingly blow a breath of hot air into her ear before his tongue just barely grazed the side as he felt her chest constrict in surprise at the motion. “Calling the demon prodigy a kid, how wrong you are. Well, tell me. Does this feel like something a kid would do?” 

That was it, now she would see that he couldn’t fit in that innocent box she had foolishly built. Just a little more to get his point across, then she would learn her mistake. 

As if on cue, he then heard the girl in question whisper, the sound just barely audible, like she was desperate for something. “Osu..” 

And because of their position, Dazai assumed it was because of his touch, the boy’s head pulling away cockily in order to look back at her with a small tease. “What is it, love?” 

Yet that’s when the two locked eyes as Asagao’s anxious hands moved against his handmade chains, almost like she wanted to touch him. “Did something happen?” 

Then all at once, Dazai felt his carefully crafted exterior start to crack ever so slightly. She sensed his distress? No, it couldn’t be. He had hid it so well in his womanizing ways. There was no way she knew about the disgusting thoughts of self hatred inside his head. 

Forcing himself to remain calm, the boy then gave her a signature smirk before purposely pushing his hands even tighter around her wrists in order to slam her back into the floor. “Whatever do you mean? I’m just excited to play with my favorite girl.” 

And yet, Asagao didn't take the bait, her lips twisting together in conflict before sadly replying.  “It’s just...it seems like you're forcing something..” 

Forcing something? No, of course not. What could he be forcing? This is who he was. He was just trying to prove to her that he wasn’t a child. He was trying to show her how much of an adult he actually was by seducing her. That’s what he did for everyone else. 

For a kid, growing up in the mafia meant no restrictions. It meant killing and drinking and sex and following the lead of everyone else in the organization.

It didn’t matter if he wasn’t old enough for any of it. That didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except forcing himself into the adult box that everyone else around him conformed to easily. 

And Dazai did it all. He brought woman back and fucked them just because it was what he thought he had to do. He learned how to seduce and flirt in order to get information for the mafia. He did everything like it was a textbook list in order to seem more grown up and mature and fit into the mold. 

It wasn’t about what or desire. 

It was a necessity, a skill to use in order to pretend to be a man. 

No, he was a man .

He had to be. Since he couldn’t be a child that was the only option. 

Feeding her another one of his rehearsed lines, Dazai tried to brush off the accusation. “Well, I can be quite forceful…”

Asa only frowned though, her voice just as sharp as before. “You know that’s not what I mean. How am I wrong? I thought we were both the same age..”

Laughing back at her ridiculously naive statement, he shook his head. Just because they were both fifteen didn’t mean they had the same luxuries and freedoms. “We may be the same age but we are worlds apart, love.” 

Asa raised an eye in reply. “How so?” 

And at that, Dazai felt his eyes close in that same suffocating shame that he had felt back in the port mafia’s basement. She was so stupid, if only she knew the things he did tonight, if only she saw the way he utterly disregarded Odasaku’s plea for change. 

Then she would know why he had to force this right now, why he had to hold onto the routine that he had always fallen back on. Because if he broke out of that now, the boy knew he would break down completely. 

Because of that, Dazai decided to be cruel, to unveil his entire evil heart to her in hopes that it would finally get her to understand why he needed to keep that mask on. “Would a kid skin something alive tonight? Would they watch the life leave their eyes, break all their bones and dismember each of their limbs until they were hardly recognizable? I don’t think so.” 

He could still feel it, the blood on his fingers, the screaming shouts of his victims to stop and the sound of them choking on their own death over and over again. Whatever imagine she had conjured up in her mind about him was not reality. 

And for a moment, he watched that happen, Asa’s eyes widening in shock at his gruesome and horrifying explanation before Dazai forcibly let up on her wrists so that she could run away or slap him for the betrayal. 

But even so, it seemed the girl was frozen to the spot, her body and arms unmoving as Dazai cruelly finished above her. “Perhaps you should think twice before you call the demon prodigy something so innocent like a child..” 

It was just as Mori had said. Anyone would be foolish to correlate those words together about him. He didn’t deserve that kind of title. He never did. 

Yet, that's when Asagao spoke, her voice small and curious. “Why can’t it be both?” 

And for the first time at night, Dazai was clueless by her words, his head turning in pure intrigue. That’s not at all what he thought she’d say. “Huh?” 

Pausing for a moment, Asagao then thought about her words before blinking her eyes in pure unruly innocence for the situation before her. “You say it like it can only be one or the other, but why can’t you be both the demon prodigy and a kid?” 

At that, Dazai felt himself scoff in absurdity 

Both? What an idiotic way of thinking. Someone couldn't be a devil and yet an angel, they couldn’t be black and then white. That was impossible. Didn’t she know that those two terms were polar opposites, like fire and water? 

Shaking his head, Dazai then leaned back into her body, his fingers latching onto her cheeks in order to pull her closer with a glare. “Don’t be stupid. There is no way those two things can exist in the same universe. They contradict themselves, they are..”

Asagao only smiled though, her words far too honest for him to handle. “You. Both of them. I’ve seen it firsthand. Your goofy/teasing smirks, your carefully thought out scripts, the way your face lights up when you see a letter from my brother, the way you manipulate and take control of every single situation. They are a contradiction yet they are all you, Osamu, and I’ve never seen anything wrong with that.” 

And that was something Asa believed wholeheartedly. She had read about this boy for years after all, she knew everything about him and now that she had actually spent time with him, Asagao knew that Dazai wasn’t a simple man. 

Yes, he was cruel and controlling with little to no boundaries but there were moments, brief cracks in his exterior that showed another side to him, a softer one. And whether he realized it or not those tiny fractures had shown her glimpses of who he really was. 

It was hard to pinpoint exactly with all the masks he wore but pretty quickly Asagao had realized that her claim about Dazai when they first met was no longer valid. She had read him wrong this entire time. 

She called him open and real but that wasn’t true at all. No, from the three weeks they had spent together she had learned that the boy was fabrication, a professional shapeshifter in the most impressive form. 

He could be so many things at the flip of a hat, going into so many roles that fit his desire. He could be a brutal port mafia executive, a cruel controlling conman and yet a gentle and sensual lover. 

But none of those were actually the real Dazai Osamu, not really.

They were just fragments, pieces of him sure, but he had never allowed himself to paint an entire picture.

Perhaps he didn’t know how to, perhaps he had acted and pretended so much that he didn’t know his true self anymore. 

But as selfish as it was, Asagao wanted to find him. She wanted to uncover the mystery that was Dazai Osamu and admire him for who he actually was. 

Even if it turned out to be a sad, scared little boy that had built up walls to keep himself safe. 

It didn’t matter, she would cherish him even so. She wanted to, simply because her big brother had done the same. Brother, did you know the real him? Did you figure out who he was underneath it all? I’ll never know, but if you did..I want the same..

Feeling his hold loosen on her jaw, Asa then continued her explanation, her gaze catching on the self made blanket roof above the two of them before softening. “Just because you grew up in the mafia doesn’t mean you still can’t be a kid. You can still allow that part of yourself to come out, you know. I mean, I get not wanting to show it at work cause you gotta put up a front but don’t think it’s all bad..”

She then turned back at him with admiration, recalling the goofy and child-ish reactions he had given her throughout these past few weeks. 

And although she knew that wasn't completely genuine, she wanted him to know how much happiness the fragment had brought her. “Because when I get to see it, I love it every time...” 

Dazai couldn’t believe what he was hearing though.

Love? She loved his pathetic weak side? She loved that he was a contradiction of fire and water? What was she saying, of course being a kid was bad. He couldn’t allow such a thing. 

Seriously, why couldn’t she just be normal, why couldn’t she just hate him and be stupid like everyone else. Why did she have to read him to his very soul every single time? He hated it, he hated how he could never hide with her. 

Of course there was something wrong with it. He was an amalgamation of broken parts, forced to be shoved together with the flimsiest glue in the universe.

But the way she was speaking, the way she looked at him with so much admiration and passion, he couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist and turn with mixed emotions. 

Whatever he did, it really didn’t bother her, did it? He could really just murder, torture and explain the darkest parts of himself and still she wouldn’t ever bat a single eye. He knew she wouldn’t. 

Now did that make her insane or just way to accepting? That was still up for debate. 

But either way, Dazai felt his lips twist upwards into a disbelieving chuckle, his arms growing numb in order to turn and collapse next to the stupid girl with a sigh.

He gave up. Her thinking had stumped him again. “Idiot...you’re a real idiot, Asagao.” 

She didn’t seem to mind though, the sound causing her to smile as well, in order for the tense atmosphere to disappear. “Believe it or not I’ve been told that before.”

Dazai only nodded though, not surprised at all. “Oh, I believe it.” 

The air was quiet then, coating the two with silence only for Asa to speak first, happy to change the subject.“So, what else did you do tonight? You know, besides the torture.”

She said it so comfortably, like she was talking about the weather and Dazai wondered if she had seen and/or done the same kind of thing when she was a hellhound. That would explain her unbothered air to everything.  

Pushing his bandaged arm up in the air, Dazai sighed. “Not much, had a boring talk with Mori and then played around with my dog a bit..” 

At his sentence, Asagao felt herself perk up, her eyes practically giddy at the memory of the ginger haired boy that she had encountered just hours ago. “I met him tonight, your dog.” 

Then all at once, Dazai felt his entire body turn on his side in disbelief. Hold on, did she just hear that right? She had met Chuuya? 

Well, that was unexpected. “What, really?” 

Nodding, he then saw as the girl beamed back, pointing an excited finger towards her nose with a goofy smile that filled up her entire face. “Yeah, it was great! He hit me in the face!” 

Although that’s when she watched Dazai’s eyes lower into a more dangerous expression, as he felt his throat tick with anger. What did she mean he hit her in the face ? 

Just what was that stupid dog doing? Hurting his precious little darling, that guy had a death wish for sure, and not the fun kind. 

Reaching his hands up, the boy then placed them on either side of her cheeks before inspecting every inch of her skin. “He hit you..?” 

Although that’s when Asa quickly perked up and finished the sentence. Ah, that sounded bad, didn’t it? Sorry, Chuuya. “Oh I mean, accidentally of course! And then he helped me stop my nosebleed.” 

The explanation was better, but not by much, the boy softening just slightly when he realized that there were no marks on her face. Chuuya was lucky there wasn’t any too, or else he knew he’d have to have a word with him about it. A very violent word.

Allowing her skin freedom, Dazai’s hand then reeled back before shaking his head with a scoff, still not okay with how things played out. “That idiot, he never looks where he’s going..” 

Asagao couldn’t disagree with that though, knowing that Chuuya was distracted when his hand accidentally connected with her face. It was both their faults really, but she was sure Dazai didn’t want to hear that. 

So instead, the girl allowed another quiet to overtake them in order for her to recall the kind ginger haired boy that had taken care of her. He was so sweet, cleaning up that blood for her. She kinda wanted to meet him again, to talk to him some more like Dazai did all the time. 

Taking in an anxious breath, Asa then began to play with the ends of her skirt in order to turn towards the bandaged boy with a hopeful whisper. “Hey Osu, do you think he’d wanna be friends with me?”

Dazai only twisted his lips in disgust for the idea though, his opinion very known. “Why would you ever want to be friends with that slug?” 

Asa only shrugged her shoulders though, recalling the conversation the two had shared in the bathroom's waiting area. “I don’t know, I just figured that if he could handle you then maybe he could handle me.”

It was something that crossed her mind ever since Chuuya had mentioned Dazai’s name. And it was no secret that her and Osu’s mindsets were rather similar in style. Perhaps in some way, she hoped that she had finally found someone that wouldn’t run away for once. 

Wishful thinking, she knew, but it was worth a shot to ask. 

The mafioso only scoffed though, his feelings not mutual on the subject. “You don’t need to befriend that idiot. His stupid will rub off on you, and you already have enough of that as it is.” 

And yes, a part of his answer was because Chuuya was in the mafia which meant another dangerous tie to Mori but that wasn’t completely the reason why Dazai had shut the idea down. 

It was insecurity, it was anxiety that the ginger was a much better man than him, and if Asa knew that then she would abandon him for Chuuya without a second thought. Anyone with a brain would do that. He was normal, and Dazai was not. 

Sighing heavily, Asa then frowned at the disapproval. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just know I’m a lot to handle and most people can’t really understand it. I just thought that maybe since he already knows what you’re like then there was a chance that..” 

The rest of her sentence disappeared due to nerves, and yet her mind finished it even so. Maybe there was a chance I could finally have a friend, that someone could tolerate me enough to finally stick around. 

Dazai’s lips couldn’t help but pout at that though, his fears of being abandoned and left behind showing in a jealous and bitter whine. “And what am I, Asa-chan? I understand your twisted little mind better than anyone, especially better than that stupid yapping dog. Trust me, you don’t need him.” 

At that, Asagao felt herself smile under her breath. Did he really think she would forget about him? Osamu was and would always be the most important person to her. Even more than a friend, he was her lifeline. 

Not wanting him to feel left out, Asa then turned on her side to meet him, her soft gentle gaze meeting his anxious one. “That’s true, you’re plenty enough for me.” 

And with that, Dazai’s shoulders began to relax ever so slowly, his breathing retreating back to normal before looking up at the blanketed sky above them. This looked like a lot of work, it seemed to take hours at least. 

He could even picture her drunken little stumbles as she carefully crafted each aspected of her little surprise. What a silly little thing she was, doing all of this. He didn’t deserve it. 

Feeling his voice come out far more uncertain than he had planned, the bandaged boy whispered apprehensively. “Did you really put all of this together..?”

The rest of the phrase was lost in the air but it was obvious even so. 

..for me?

Did she seriously put all of this planning and hard work together just for a pathetic little boy like him? He had never had that before, he had never been surprised with good intentions. He had never had anyone think about him or care about him in this kind of way. 

Asa only nodded her head though, like the answer was obvious. “Of course, I wanted to make you happy, like you do for me. So, did it work? Are you happy? Did I make your home a little more fun?” 

Happy? 

What did that feel like, to be happy? And was that what he was feeling now? He wasn’t sure, but Dazai did feel a strange tumble inside his chest, the feeling so warm that it was almost too nauseating to process. 

It was a foreign sensation, one that the boy couldn’t understand in the slightest. How was one supposed to react to that question? He didn’t know. 

But what he did know was how utterly wrong she was with that little sentence of hers. She kept calling this place a home, and he knew that wasn’t accurate at all. 

Forcing the warmth from his chest, Dazai then narrowed his eyes in order to focus on correcting her absurd sentence. “This place has never been my home. It’s just a building with rooms, that’s all.”

Asagao wasn’t surprised by that though. She had gotten that much from her very first inspection. A home wasn’t supposed to be that sad and lonely after all. That’s why she did all of this in the first place, so he would feel better about coming back here. 

And because he had shown her a bit of vulnerability, she wanted to do the same, even if it was hard to talk about. “I get that. Oda’s place doesn’t really feel like home either. So I can understand how you feel, coming back to somewhere that doesn’t feel right, like you're a stranger in your own house..”

Someone else’s place, someone else’s bed, it never did feel right for her to be there, especially since she never knew the previous owner. Maybe if she knew Oda then the walls wouldn’t be as mocking but that wasn’t a luxury she was given. 

Dazai remained silent at that, almost like he had wordlessly agreed with her as Asagao closed her eyes in simple thought. Tomorrow their little “freebie” would be done and they would go back to the strangers they were before. 

And although it was far past what they had decided, Asagao didn’t want that. 

She didn’t want them to go back to being strangers, not after she had gotten a taste of who he was. That lonely, sad and suffocating feeling, she never wanted to go back to that again now that she had found someone that had understood her.

Just a little bit more, that’s all she needed. That’s all she wanted from him. Perhaps it was impossible, but she would never know unless she tried. 

And using her drunk confidence, the girl did just that. “Osamu..I..uhh..”

Stopping her failing tongue, Asagao then took a heavy breath before pouring out her feelings. “I know the specifics of our deal are already made and everything but these last two days have been really nice. I’ve never had this before, and I wanted to thank you for it. For giving me Bar Lupin, for showing me that photo, for bringing my brother back to life, and for allowing me to be myself without judgment. It means a lot to me..really..”

It was something she would never forget, the kindness he had shown her tonight. She somehow felt closer than she had ever been before to her big brother and it was all because of him. 

Pausing for a moment, Asa then squeezed her eyes shut with anxiety before shoving the words out before she could change her mind. “And I just...I want you to know that if there is a day that you don’t want to come back here, then you can come to me..” 

Oh god, she said it. She really said it. Hold on, that sounded creepy, didn’t it? She didn’t want him to think she was creepy. Quickly Asagao, explain yourself before he laughs at you. 

Pushing her hands up, Asa then stuttered through her embarrassed pink cheeks, the room suddenly feeling way too warm “I-I don’t mean that in a weird way or anything. I know you’re still gonna come over for the letters but that doesn’t have to be the only reason we have to see each other if you want to. You could always just stay the night and leave right after or hang around the place, or even sit in complete silence if you just need to be near someone. I don’t mind, really.” 

Finally taking a much needed breath, she then forced her mouth closed before a small smile crossed her lips. She did it, she had taken a step forward and pushed herself out of her comfort zone. 

Speaking mostly to herself, the girl then finished wistfully imagining a perfect world where her dreams could be. “In fact, I’d actually really like it if you did that. Because then, maybe with you, that place could be home.”

And maybe it could, maybe with Osamu there, Oda’s apartment could feel like home, like she could belong there. She had seen small glimpses of it when he came over for her brother’s letters. Perhaps the house could be that lively all the time. She hoped it could. 

A heavy silence then appeared between the two, causing Asagao’s head to turn towards Osu only for her eyes to widen at the sight before her. 

Because for some reason, the scary port mafia executive, the demon prodigy, looked like the embodiment of a ghost, his skin sickly pale and unmoving as his eyes stared into what seemed like absolutely nothing at all. It was almost like the boy had ceased to function completely, his mind unable to process the offer that Asa had given him. 

All at once, Asagao leaned forward in concern, her voice laced with anxiety and fear in order to try and snap him back out of whatever state she had put him in. 

Oh no, what had she done? Did she offend him? “...Osamu?”

Yet, before she could process it, Dazai’s fingers had quickly found the edges of the blanket she was laying on and lifted them up in order for her entire body to flop around like fish as the boy beamed happily. “Alright, time for bed!” 

Gasping out a squeak in surprise, she then felt her entire body start to get constricted by the blankets in order for Osu to comically roll her up until just her head and wiggling feet were showing. “Whaaa, wait Samu, what are you doing?!” 

He only laughed though, picking up the poor wrapped girl before throwing her over his shoulder in order to move over to his bedroom with an over the top air. “I’m making an Asa-chan burrito so that way you can’t escape!” 

Asagao then felt her entire body plop onto his bed in order for her to whine in disappointment. “But what about our sleepover? I worked so hard.”

Dazai only placed a finger to her nose though, stopping her self pity party with a teasing smirk. “But isn’t sleeping also a part of a sleepover?” 

Nodding apprehensively, Asa frowned. “I guess..” 

Reeling back in finality, the boy then clapped his hands goofily before already walking away, almost like he needed to leave this conversation sooner rather than later. “That settles it! Now come on, my drunk princess needs her beauty sleep or else she’s gonna regret it in the morning.” 

But as she watched him go, Asa couldn’t help but call back in concern. “What about you, where are you going to sleep?” 

She had taken up the entire bed after all, and Asagao didn’t want Dazai to have to sleep on the sofa or something uncomfortable like that. Hell, if she wasn’t tied up like the giant sushi then she would’ve offered to move. 

Although that’s when Dazai paused, his overconfidence dropping for a millisecond in order to glance back at the girl with a more genuine, less happy smile. “Aww, don’t you worry, darling. I’m naturally beautiful. It would be impossible to lose my good looks.” 

Then before she could argue, he was gone, leaving Asagao to slump against the pillows with a heavy sigh of defeat. He didn't answer her question, now and back under the fort. But what did that mean? 

And why did he look so sad when he turned back to her?

------

Carefully closing the door to his bedroom, Dazai waited until he heard the soft click of confirmation before his happy go lucky and cheery exterior dropped away into nothing, leaving only a placid and sunken expression. 

He had run away. 

One push from Asagao and he had retreated into himself so quickly, it was almost like second nature. Her request to get closer to him, to have him rely on her past their original agreement, just what was she thinking? 

Of course, he wanted that. 

He wanted to have somewhere he could call a home, he so desperately wanted something to stop the crippling loneliness that he felt whenever he returned back to these sad and hollow walls and floors. He wanted it so badly that it physically hurt him to even think about it.

To have a family, to have a friend, to have something to hold onto when life abused him and kicked him down over and over again. He so desperately wanted someone to hear his cries and reach out their hand so that he could collapse safely and never leave again. 

But, Dazai knew that he couldn’t, because he had already done so before. 

And it had ruined him. 

He had let his walls down around Odasaku, and for a split second, the boy thought that he could have those things too, but then they were taken from him. Just like that, in a blink of an eye, they were gone, leaving him in the dark once more. 

What was the point of it all, why did he even do that? Why did he try? It’s not like it mattered in the end, if anything it made everything worse. Because now that he had gotten a taste of companionship, it was like a drug, never leaving him alone.  

And Asagao was the worst kind of drug of all. 

One that he couldn’t allow himself to indulge in, to addict himself so heavily like before. No, he had learned his lesson, he wouldn’t get his hopes up and destroy himself a second time. 

Because it never changed anything, and Dazai knew in his sick little twisted brain that the moment he crumbled and closed their distance, she would be taken away from him as well. 

No, he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t lose someone like that again. 

That’s why it was better to never know what that warmth was, what that path felt like. Yes, it was better to never know then to find out and have it ripped away in the end. 

Moving over to the large window by his living room, Dazai then leaned against the cool glass, allowing it to chill his entire soul.

 It would be easier to just let her go completely, to cut ties with Oda’s sister before he was tempted with more. 

But just the very thought caused his entire body to tense in response for even thinking about such a thing. No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t let her go, not when she was close to his dear friend, not when she had brought him so many wonderful things. 

Even Dazai knew he wasn't that kind. He was far too selfish to give her that kind of mercy, to completely lose her in his life.

 And though it was dangerous, though he realized he was walking an extremely thin line over a cavern-like pit, he couldn’t help still balance on it. 

Standing still from the distance they had but never taking a step forward, that was the fate the boy that resisted himself to, and he was determined to keep it. 

It didn’t matter if that result left him alone, it didn’t matter if twisted his heart and shoved his invisible needs down, it didn’t matter if that result left him screaming in the dark like he had always been, this was the only path for him now. 

And he would walk it, simply because he had to. 

Taking out his phone from his pocket, Dazai then pushed a very familiar button before he heard the singular ring inside his ear.

 And then, after two little sounds, Ango’s voice picked up, just as panicked and anxious as he expected it to be. “Dazai? What is it?” 

The mafioso only hummed though, his fingers trailing the glass in front of him. “Oh nothing, I just thought you’d be interested to know that I found our little lost princess.” 

Almost immediately, the voice jumped up, the tone growing louder. “Wait, you did? Where is she? Tell me the address and I’ll come over right now..” 

Although that’s when Dazai cut him off completely, a suppressed laugh inside his throat. “Oh, that won’t be necessary. You see, Ango. I’ve taken quite a liking to her. I think I’m gonna keep her.”

And from the other side of the phone, Ango felt his face drop. No, this was the worst result he couldn’t ever have imagined. “K-Keep? Dazai, you know you can’t do that. It’s too dangerous. What if Mori..” 

Yet that’s when Dazai responded, his voice serious. “He won’t.” 

Catching the agent completely off guard, Ango couldn’t help but twist his eyes in confusion. Where was that cruel teasing air he had been using? It had disappeared completely. “What?” 

The bandaged boy only narrowed his eyes though, clutching the phone between his fingers before allowing his voice to ring with soft honesty. “Mori won’t find out about her. Odasaku wouldn’t have wanted that, so he won’t.” 

And for a moment, Ango felt himself freeze. Was he saying that he was going to protect Asagao, that he was going to keep her safe from Mori and the port mafia? No, it couldn’t be. Dazai wasn’t that kind of man, well at least that’s what he thought. 

It was surprising to say the least, suggesting such an out of character thing for him. Was it because of Odasaku, was that why he was going out of his comfort zone? Ango wasn’t completely sure but from his tone of voice it didn't seem like he was lying. 

But with Dazai, he could never really tell. 

Because of that, the man was still apprehensive. This was such a precious thing they were talking about, this was their friend's dear little sister. He couldn’t let up on such a thing. “I don’t know, I just don’t think that she should..” 

Yet that’s when the boy cut him off again, a sharp threatening edge to his voice. “Ango, if you continue then you’ll be my enemy. You know what that means, right?” 

And for the first time since their conversation, Ango felt his eyes widen. 

Because he knew exactly what that meant, he knew the death sentence that was implied by being labeled the misfortune of the enemy of port mafia executive Dazai Osamu. 

But could it really be true? Dazai was threatening war with the government just to keep her? He wanted to risk that much? Perhaps he was wrong, perhaps Asa did mean more to the boy than just a simple plaything. 

Could it really be, had the brutal mafia executive finally grown a heart? 

He couldn’t really tell for sure but the lethal threat was enough to make Ango close his eyes in unsaid defeat. If Dazai was really that serious about defending her then he knew he couldn’t argue. 

But that didn’t mean he was going to let up if that changed. “You better keep  your word, Dazai. If anything happens to her, just know Odasaku would never forgive you, and neither will I…” 

And just like that, the line went dead, causing Dazai to drop the phone to his side in silent confirmation. 

Ango didn’t need to worry about that. He would protect her, from Mori, from the world, but mostly from the most dangerous threat of all. 

Himself. 

---

(It's been a month since I've started this fic! Thank you so much for all your support and love on my first bsd story!)

I call this chapter "let Dazai be a kid" because in most fanfics I've read a lot of authors focus on either the "fifteen year old boy" aspect of Dazai or a "brutal executive" side of him and although none of them are wrong, in my mind I think he's really a mix of both. The line that Odasaku uses to describe him in the novels really inspired this chapter in order to show both sides of the complex boy. We see this in the expectations and the box that he tries to put himself into to seem more adult (the drinking, the pressure of seduction) but in reality it comes across from of a child playing dress up than the truth.

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai bsd #bsd #bungou stray dogs #chuuya #nakahara chuuya #dazai x female reader #dazai x reader #dazai angst #dazai x odasaku!sister #bungo stray dogs odasaku #odasaku sakunosuke #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 link #dazai #osamu dazai #osamu x reader

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch9

Chapter 9: "You Are Not A Good Man"

Summary: Dazai fights between the darkness of what he has always known and what Odasaku wanted for him. Oda's sister finally meets Chuuya, our favorite angry ginger.

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, Dazai self destructing, Odasaku death mentions, Dazai torturing himself and everyone around him, manipulative behavior from both sides, Mori mentions and grooming themes, underage drinking, talks of suicide, pm! fiftten year old Chuuya being a good boy. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter nine of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Oda's death has been moved up to when Dazai is fifteen for plot purposes. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 7k total

Moving down the familiar port mafia base, Dazai shoved his hands inside his pocket begrudgingly, his feet shuffling as he thought about the annoying conversation he was probably going to have. 

Yet the one thing that occupied his mind the most was the red haired dork he had left behind. 

And yeah, the last thing he probably should’ve done was leave Oda’s sister unattended in a port mafia owned building, knowing that she had a habit of not following directions and staying put. She had run away from Ango three weeks ago after all, what was to stop her from doing the same thing here?

It was no secret that she liked to cause trouble, in more ways than one.

But unlike the agent, Dazai didn’t underestimate her. Yes, leaving her alone wasn’t preferable but he also knew that she was fully capable of handling herself if someone did decide to step out of line and mess with her. Hell, she could probably outsmart and kick the asses of every incompetent subordinate in the building if she wanted. 

The truth was, she didn’t need his protection, not in the way that Ango thought she did. Asagao was calculating when she wanted to be, even if she was limited by the effects of alcohol currently. She was still a force to be reckoned with and the boy wasn’t worried in the slightest at the fact that he had just left her in a den of wolves. 

And in some sort of way, the boy looked at this little opportunity as a kind of test, wanting to see just how the girl would react to his way of life. Most people wouldn’t have been able to handle his port mafia lifestyle but Asagao, he knew that she could.

And not only that, he knew that she could thrive in it if given the opportunity. 

Was it wrong to think that though? Was it fucked up to hope that she would be in danger while he was gone just so he could see the full extend of her capabilities? That was probably not something a good person was supposed to do, but what could he say? The situation was too perfect to pass up. 

Humming to himself at the thought, Dazai then frowned at the shift in air only to vaguely feel a burst of air approach from his left, causing the boy to quickly duck in order to just merely miss a kick in his direction. “You piece of shit, there you are! I’m gonna kill you!” 

Already groaning at the sound of his voice, the brown haired mafioso simply closed his eyes before turning in order to meet a very familiar head of ginger

Ah, right on cue. “Aww Chuuuuya, did you miss me that much? And thanks for the offer but dying by your hand doesn’t really interest me at all.” 

Watching Chuuya shake his head in exasperation, the boy grumbled back, clearly bursting at the seams from unkempt anger the entire day. “Shut up! You left me alone to take down those losers by myself. Do you know how outnumbered I was because you decided to ditch?!” 

Dazai only raised an eye though, mocking his pathetic partners immediately.. “Oh boo hoo, I thought the famous gravity manipulator could handle a few measly thugs, but it looks like you are more incompetent than I thought if you’re complaining about this much. Pity, I thought you were at least a little useful to me..” 

The boy then shrugged his shoulders only for his partners to immediately wrap his gloved hand around Dazai’s jacket in order to shake him around as usual. “Screw you, I did take down all those idiots by myself! They didn’t stand a chance!”  

Dazai then replied halfheartedly, his finger in his ears in order to block out the ringing from Chuuya’s shouting. “Then what’s the problem? The job was done, wasn’t it? Unless you just like yelling to hear yourself talk?” 

That only seemed to make the hot headed mafioso even more angry though, his fingers tightening on his partner's jacket before yelling even louder than before. “The problem is that you ditched for nothing just to make me look like an idiot!” 

Scoffing in response, Dazai smirked. “Oh Chuuya, you don't need my help for that, you do that to yourself..” 

Then the bandaged boy simply lifted his hands out in defense before smiling in wistful memory of today's events. “And if you must know, I was very busy. I told you, I promised a lovely young lady a good time. What kind of man would I be to deny such a wonderful request?” 

Dazai then thought back to the adorably drunk Asagao that was waiting for him back at his apartment. And though he loved pissing off Chuuya, tonight this was the last place he wanted to be. 

Closing his eyes in exasperation, Chuuya then caught the silence in his idiot partner's gloat before forcing himself to let go of the boy with a grumble.  “Listen, I don’t care about what kind of fucked up disgusting shit you do in your free time or what kind of brain damaged girls you manipulate for your own selfish whims. Just know that if you pull that shit again, you’re gonna regret it.” 

Dazai only raised an eye in amusement though. Calling Asagao brain damaged, what a way with words he had. It’s like he was implying that he was forcing her to date him. If only Chuuya knew just how wrong he was, about how opposite he had everything.

How would he react to knowing that Asagao was the one who pushed him into this relationship? That for once, it wasn’t the demon that had made the contract but rather the angel. 

So much so, the mafioso felt his lips curve upwards before a short chuckle escaped his lips at the idea, causing Chuuya’s head to turn in angry confusion. “What? What the hell are you laughing about, mackerel? What’s so damn funny?” 

Shrugging his shoulders in response, the boy then forced his lips closed before shaking the thought away. Nah, this slug didn’t deserve to know about her, at least not yet. “Oooh it’s nothing. But really, you’re so scary Chuuuya. I’m practically shaking from fear..” 

Then all at once, he watched the red haired kid start to get wound up again, his words practically seething through his teeth in order to point a finger in his direction. “I mean it, dickhead! I’m watching you..” 

Dazai only rolled his eyes though, responding in a millisecond. “How can you watch anything? You can't even see that high..” 

And just like that, the momentary calm was broken as Dazai watched Chuuya’s control completely snap, much to his satisfaction. “Fucking basard..!” 

Yet that’s when a new voice seemed to enter the space, stunning the two bickering children immediately as he strolled up behind them rather unbothered. “Dazai, there you are.” 

Widening his eyes, Chuuya then turned to the voice before immediately falling to his knees in a sign of respect as Dazai simply remained silent. “Boss..” 

Mori simply nodded his head in return, unbothered by the bickering he had just witnessed. “Ah, Chuuya, you’re here too. Seems like you two are just as explosive as ever.” 

Crossing his arms over his chest in a huff, Dazai frowned, knowing that the reason he was stuck with this little brat was because of the boss in the first place. “It’s your fault for making me deal with something so unpleasant all the time.” 

The port mafia boss didn’t seem bothered in the slightest thought, his lips giving a cruel short chuckle before seemingly getting right to business. “Yes, well I suppose you’re right. Now Chuuya, if you would excuse us. I must speak to Dazai alone.” 

Almost immediately, Chuuya responded, his body snapping back up before giving another small bow of his head in response. Whatever the boss wanted, he would gladly do. 

Besides, it finally got him away from the bandaged bane of his existence, and that was a blessing in itself. “Yes boss, of course..” 

The boy then turned around only for Dazai’s mocking gaze to follow his steps before calling back to him all at once, almost like he wanted the last victory. “See you, Chuuuuya. Maybe the next time we meet you’ll be able to reach the top shelf! I highly doubt it though, petite mafia!” 

All at once, Chuuya felt his eyes twitch, his fingers curving through the leather of his gloves in order to force his feet to continue to move and obey their boss’s wishes. But that didn’t stop him from muttering cruel obscenities inside his head all the same. 

Stupid annoying little prick, picking on my size like that. He’s lucky the boss is here or else he’d be dead! God, I hate him so fucking much!! Why did I have to be stuck with a guy like him?! 

And even though his threats were unsaid, Dazai still gained a sense of satisfaction from them, his lips twisting into silent victory as he watched his favorite little toy stomp away. 

------

Mori led the boy straight to his office as Dazai watched him descend into his usual chair, virtually unbothered in order to turn towards his favorite little executive with his usual calm and collected smile. “Now Dazai, could you please share with me why you were absent from the job I assigned to you and Chuuya today?” 

And although his smile was seemingly unbothered, Dazai sensed the threatening aura that always laid beneath. Too bad for him though, the boy was never shaken by his attempts of intimation.

Because of that, Dazai simply shrugged his shoulders, his own lips showing hidden intent, like he was up for the challenge. “Easy, cause it was boring and I didn’t wanna.” 

The port mafia boss only frowned though, his expression dropping to a disappointed pout in order to lace his fingers under his chin. 

Perhaps to anyone else his response would’ve been seen as unacceptable, but Mori already knew Dazai’s cruel mannerisms like the back of his hand. “Now that’s not very nice. I thought we had an understanding between each other when I offered you the executive position.” 

His voice came out scolding, like you would do to an unruly child but the executive knew better to take his words at face value and think it was that simple. Nothing about Mori was simple after all, he had learned that the day they had first met. 

Because of that, the bandaged menace called him out on it, Dazai’s fingers crossing around his own arms with a huff. “Oh please, we both know the real reason why you offered me that job. It was so you could keep an eye on me and protect your dirty little secret.” 

And for a moment, Mori paused, seemingly taking in his answer before his fingers dropped from his chin with a simple nod. “Right you are, Dazai. You are the only one that knows the truth after all. That I killed the precious boss and took his place.” 

Normally the man wouldn’t have ever admitted such a thing but he knew it was pointless to continue the charade, especially since it was Dazai that had figured out his true intentions long ago. 

Why he had given him the position of executive, why he held the boy so highly, it wasn’t without reason. 

Dazai only nodded back though, his eyes rolling in exasperation. “And I’m your accomplice for it all, I was the only witness to the previous boss’s demise.  I know I know. I get it already. If you’re really that worried about it then you should just silence me permanently and get it over with.”  

It was something that had tied the two together long ago. Dazai could still remember it like it was yesterday, the day his tiny little eyes accidentally caught the sharp metal scalpel as it slid across the previous port mafia boss’s throat. 

After the event it was concluded that the old boss’s will was for Mori to take over but only he and Mori knew the truth, that the doctor had lied to the entire place in order to take the boss’s position. 

And since that day Mori had regarded the two of them as partners in crime, always reminding the boy of his place in all of this over and over again like a broken record.

It was almost like he was worried that Dazai would ruin everything with just the slip of a tongue. Instead he used that little secret to try and tie him down to his side. 

Mori simply waved the idea away though, almost like he had already read the boy’s mind. “Don’t be silly. There would be no benefit to kill you like that. If I really wanted you dead then it would already be done. I’ve already stopped multiple of your suicide attempts in the past year, I’m not going to let all that taxing work go to waste.” 

You see, that was one thing the port mafia boss had figured out fairly quickly. For as much as he wanted all the loose ends of his little evil deed erased, the man knew it wasn’t that simple.

In a sick way, he needed Dazai, he needed him to keep their little lie going because with the boy gone, the old boss’s members would suspect him of the murder. 

But that was easier said than done. When he had proposed his little plan Mori thought he was tying himself to a sad pathetic weak and stupid suicidal kid that he could manipulate to his own hand. 

Yet almost instantly the doctor realized he had made a mistake, a grave miscalculation on his part. 

For you see, Mori had learned very quickly that a monster like Dazai couldn’t be tied down. He couldn’t be manipulated as easily as he first thought. And now by putting himself in this deal he had also undoubtedly tied himself to an evil even he himself couldn’t predict. 

But then again, that also made everything all the more enticing. 

Dazai only pouted his lips though, not liking his annoying response. He knew that the guy had stopped his fair share of attempts and the boy still wasn’t happy about it. “Boo. You’re no fun, Mori.” 

Mori waved his childish manner away though, his eyes planning in clear calculation in order to go for the nearby teapot that was just out of reach. “Everything I’ve done has been for the benefit of this organization. I will always do what I think is best for the port mafia, and that includes the assassination of the precious boss. A change of power was necessary, and when the time comes for another change, I will allow the transition wholeheartedly.”

The bandaged boy then watched as the boss tipped over the pot into his cup as Dazai truly thought about the meaning of his words. Was he saying what he thought he was? Was the guy really that dedicated to the mafia? 

Narrowing his eyes, the boy questioned curiously. “So you’re saying that you’ll allow someone to murder you in cold blood and take your position just like you did with the old boss?”

It was an interesting idea, being aware of your own humanity and your own imminent demise. Was that how Mori lived his life, knowing it was a fleeting moment, that he was just a small chess piece in the grand scheme of the port mafia’s legacy?

Mori then closed his eyes, thinking about Dazai’s accusation before simply putting the teapot down onto the table in order to turn back towards the clueless boy with a knowing look. “Precisely. But only if it is someone worthy enough to do so. Everything has a time and a place, and when that moment arrives, my executioner will be hand picked by my own design.” 

The air was silent then but the boy could feel his skin prick with devious unknown intent as Mori stared through Dazai’s nonexistent soul for what seemed like forever.

 And though the kid was curious about his plan in all of this, the only thing that could stick in his mind was one perplexing thing. For someone so against suicide, you sure have thought a lot about your own death. What a hypocrite you are, old man. 

Yet before he could truly stew on the matter, Mori waved the idea away in order to change the subject completely, or so the boy thought at the time. “Now, onto other matters. How are you holding up? I’m sure Oda Sakunosuke’s tragic death has taken quite a toll on you. It truly was an unfortunate event after all.” 

At the sound of Oda’s name, Dazai then felt his entire body tense without permission, the words dying in his own throat all at once. Just the mere mention of his old friend was enough to make him internally unravel. 

And he suspected that was the point, that’s why Mori had brought him up. To gain a reaction, to put him in his place and take control of the conversation for the first time since their meeting. Dazai hated it, he hated the kind of power anyone had on him with just one simple name. 

So much so, the kid’s words came out bitter, not wanting to talk about this. “Why does it even matter to you? You don’t care that he’s gone. He was a low level lackey in the port mafia. Odasaku had no value to you.” 

Dazai knew that was the truth, Mori didn’t care. Because of Odasaku’s morals and his refusal to kill, his position in the mafia was bottom tier at best. He was the equivalent to an errant dog, doing odd jobs here and there. He meant nothing to the organization and therefore he meant nothing to Mori. 

That’s right, the boss was only bringing him up to get under Dazai’s skin, to make him squirm and act out. There was no other reason for it then to shove his own weakness straight into his face. 

Mori took the boy’s reply with a collective air though, almost like he knew the kind of response he would get. “That may be true, but he certainly had value to you, did he not?” 

And he did, to the boy, Odasaku was the most valuable person and thing to have ever existed. He was the closest thing to a friend or a family he had ever had. No one would be able to understand that, not even Oda’s own little sister. 

Feeling his own lips screw shut in order to hide an emotional reply, Dazai shoved his hands into his pockets with silent despair. He didn’t want to pour his non-existent heart out to Mori but he also didn’t want to lie and tell the man that Odasaku was insignificant. 

Because he wasn’t, he would never be. 

Mori eyed the reaction silently as well, his expression unchanging before finally looking away from the boy in order to stare down in silent thought. “I must say, you are taking everything quite well, better than I expected.”

There was something different in the man’s tone then, something that Dazai couldn’t quite pick out. It was like there was something else laced in that sentence, something that sounded like..disappointment? 

But why would Mori be disappointed in his reaction to all of this? 

Wanting to dig deeper, Dazai frowned. “And what did you expect?”

Mori then snapped his gaze back up before speaking distantly, like he was listing off some sort of checklist in his mind. “I expected that I’d be saving you from another suicide attempt, that I’d find you in some sort of ditch alone and broken beyond belief. That’s usually how people grieve the deaths of important friends and family.”

And for a moment, Dazai paused. Was that what he was supposed to be doing? Was that the proper response to grieve someone’s death? He didn’t know, considering the boy wasn’t anything resembling normal. 

He was already broken beyond belief though, even before Odasaku’s death. He had always been a sad amalgamation of what he should’ve been. How could you break what was already broken? How could the shattered be even more shattered? Perhaps it wasn’t possible. 

Perhaps he was too numb to feel any of that. 

But even Dazai knew that was a lie, that for a split second while holding his best friend’s dying body he had felt something. It had been what Mori had described for a split second. Grief, devastation, self-destruction, they twisted into him even more than before. 

He felt the painstaking loneliness stuck to his skin whenever he tried to move around Odasaku’s apartment, he felt the numb pointless burn of the alcohol when he only poured one drink instead of two. Such human emotions, in those small moments Dazai knew what they were, even if he didn't want to admit it. 

Yet if that was the case, why hadn’t he crumbled under it all? Why wasn’t his body succumbing to the pain of the loss? That’s what Mori expected, that’s what should’ve been the logical conclusion. Why hadn’t he given up all together and tried to kill himself again? 

Then all at once, the boy had his answer. 

Asagao. 

Oda’s little sister, she was the reason he was just barely hanging on these last few weeks. She had fed him letters, memories and moments that were so new to the boy that it felt like Odasaku hadn’t disappeared from this world entirely. 

Whether on purpose or not, she had given delusions to keep going, to wake up just in order to read another entry from his best friend’s fingers. Those letters, they meant everything to him. They were his lifeline, the boy depending on them just like Asagao did for her entire life. 

And yes they were fleeting, they were just temporary spells in the end. He knew that, he knew that one day there would be no more words to read and Dazai would have to face that. 

But not today, he didn’t have to do that today. 

He wondered if she knew that, if she knew just how important Odasaku’s writing was to him? That they were just barely keeping him afloat even now? 

And Asagao also, just her very presence filled a void that Dazai thought would never be filled again. Her living, breathing body, her tangible touchable skin, they filled his grief filled soul with a shaky wavering peace he knew wouldn’t last. 

She wasn’t the real thing, but she was close enough to Odasaku for him to keep trying.  To be a good man, a good person. That’s what both siblings wished, what they believed for him. 

And he wanted to do that, for them. 

Just then, Dazai’s internal thoughts were shattered as he heard Mori’s soft chuckle, the sound filling up the entire room in order for the man to sigh. “Then again, it should be expected that your reaction to grief and death would be different, considering you have always been different, Dazai.”

Not fully understanding, the boy then allowed him to continue, his voice coming out in a cruel edge. “Anyone else would look at you and see a child but you and I both know that’s never been the truth, not really. Not after all the blood and death you’ve shed over the years. Such an innocent yet simple term could never fit you.” 

Sure, by looks and hypotheticals Dazai was a fifteen year old boy but Mori knew that was no excuse to underestimate him. The boy was young, yes, but he had already seen far more evil and monstrosities than an old man. Each experience had twisted and changed him into something more complex than just a sniveling child.  

And Dazai agreed in a sense. He knew he wasn’t normal, he wasn’t like the happy and carefree Odasaku or Asagao. He never fit inside that box but in those moments with them the boy liked to pretend, to wish for another outcome then just the demon that resided in his heart.

This hopeful and trying side of him that he had displayed tonight with Asa, that wasn’t like him. He had never tried to be kind before, to give anyone anything like he had given her Bar Lupin.

And though it was selfish, Asa told him that it didn’t matter. That just the very act of trying was enough for her. It was so tiny so minuscule and yet Dazai wondered if that was truly enough? Could he really honor Oda like this? He wasn’t sure. 

But the fact that he hadn’t completely disregarded the idea, that he hadn’t given up yet was new. It felt almost human in a way, his desire to keep going and prove to Odasaku and Asagao that their words about him being a good man could be true.

He would pretend, he would imagine himself as something more than a monster. 

And maybe if he pretended hard enough, then someday it could be real. 

Realizing he needed to say something, Dazai then turned his head, curious to hear what a man like Mori would have to say on the topic. “If I’m not a kid than what am I?”

The boss had his answer immediately, seemingly countering the boy’s delusions with sharp truth. “Why, the demon prodigy of course. It’s what you've always been. Anyone else would be foolish to think otherwise.” 

It was like he was calling Dazai out with his words, like he was trying to shut down his silly little “pretending plan” but even still, the executive couldn’t abandon it. He didn’t want Mori to be right in any sense, but especially for this. 

Leaning back into his chair, Mori then smiled once more, the corners not reaching to the edge of his face before carrying on his thoughts. “Speaking of which, I’m in need of your help. Chuuya successfully completed today’s raid and we were able to capture one of their colleagues. The thing is, it seems like he needs a little more..persuasion..to tell us the rest of his plans..” 

Dazai knew what he meant immediately. Torture. He wanted him to be the demon prodigy and torture this guy for information.

And normally he would’ve jumped at the chance to play around with some pathetic enemies but Asagao was still waiting for him and he knew this job wasn’t going to be an easy one. “I see, and you want me to do it?”

Mori only nodded his head though, pushing his fingers back under his chin with a hum.“Think of it as your makeup assignment for missing the mission.”

Oh, so that’s how he was playing it. He was blackmailing him for missing that stupid boring raid by asking this. And Dazai knew that if he refused then Mori probably would look into the reason on why he missed the raid in the first place. 

And that would lead him back to the pretty little redhead that was in his apartment right now. Long story short, if he didn’t do this job, then there was a risk that Odasaku’s sister would be found out. 

He was giving him this option as a way out, as an alternative instead of digging into his life. And though the boy wanted so badly to counteract his little game, the risk was too great. Oda would be horrified if Asagao ended up in the port mafia.

Because of that, Dazai simply took his hands out of his pockets before smiling back in challenge, just to push his buttons. He couldn’t be too eager about this either, or else it would raise suspicion. “And if I say I don’t wanna?” 

Mori seemed to find amusement in the question though, his eyes narrowing in victory before reading his favorite port mafia executive immediately.

 “Oh, I think we both know that’s a lie.”

-----

Stomping his feet in pure lingering frustration, Chuuya made his way back to his place, still muttering under his breath because of the dipshit encounter with his least favorite person in the entire world. Fucking Dazai, always putting him a bad mood like this. 

What was that guy's problem anyways, always pissing him off like this? It’s like he enjoyed it or some shit. Hell, he probably did, that little asshole would. 

Thinking back to their unpleasant conversation, the boy then turned the corner before shaking his head with a new list of obscenities. 

Just what was that guy saying anyways? There was no way he was out with a girl all this time. What kind of brain dead freak would ever hang out with him anyways? Nah, he was bullshitting him, he had to be. 

Chuuya then turned back around in order to put his arms up in a huff only to feel his hand connect with something solid on accident as a small female groan was heard to his left. What the hell was that?

Yet that’s when the boy’s eyes widened as he caught the sight of a hunched over figure in front of him, the strangers hands covering their face as Chuuya felt his stomach dropped in guilt. Ah, shit, when did she get there!? He didn’t mean to hit her like that! 

Panicking almost immediately, Chuuya hunched over, his hands moving in all sorts of directions before speaking at a million miles a minute. “S-Shit, are you okay? You came out of nowhere. I didn’t see you.” 

The mystery girl only waved her only free hand away though, seemingly unbothered that the ginger had almost knocked her out. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. This happens a lot..” 

At that, Chuuya felt him raise an eye. “You getting hit in the face happens a lot?” 

 What the hell did that even mean? Why wasn’t this chick yelling at him like he deserved? He had just hit her, unintentionally or not he was still in the wrong. 

She only seemed to laugh though, finding humor in the sentence in order to lower her hand a little bit so he could see her large round framed glasses on her face. “Yeah ha ha..I don’t have the best eyesight…” 

And though the glasses were surprising, it didn’t change the facts. The way she was still holding her face was concerning itself. “Still, it’s my fault. I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

That’s when the girl simply nodded her head in order to put her hands out in defense with a goofy little smile of reassurance.“Yeah, of course. Look, I’m perfectly fine! No need to worry!” 

 Yet just as soon as she said that, Chuuya watched a thin line of blood trail down from her nose in response, his eyes hollowing in horror as she simply touched the sight with a nervous laugh. “Ah..ha ha..would you look at that..” 

All at once, alarm bells started to go off in the boy’s head, running through every horrible possibility. He did hit her pretty hard, what if he broke her nose or gave her a concussion? Oh, he hoped not. Then he’d feel even worse than before!

Reaching his hands forward, Chuuya’s fingers then swept under the blood in a panic, ridding himself from the sight only for more to take its place. Oh, this was bad. “Ah, damn it. You’re bleeding!” 

The glasses girl only shrugged though, still giving him that goofy unbothered smile in order to reply softly. “Just a little, it’s..” 

Yet Chuuya was done hearing her downplay the situation, the boy simply grabbing onto her hand in order to pull her off the ground with a frustrated huff. “Is your brain broken? Come here already..!” 

With the way she was acting he was sure that she had a concussion of some kind. No one would ever act this calm about this mistake, especially here in a port mafia owned building. 

Dragging her over to the lobby bathroom, Chuuya quickly threw open the door before pointing to the fancy plush waiting area sofa with hastily command. “Sit.” 

She complied a second later with the boy practically pushing her shoulders down in a rush only for her to put her hands up in reply. “Hey, I promise. I swear I’m okay. You don’t have to..” 

Yet that’s when her words were cut off immediately by Chuuya’s hand, his thumb and forefingers latching against her nostrils in order to make her dip towards him with annoyance. “Lean forward and don’t move. The bleeding should stop in fifteen minutes or so.” 

It was a trick he had learned from an early age while in the sheep. A lot of the younger members would get nosebleeds fairly easily so this was basically secondhand nature to the boy. 

And it seemed like the mystery girl knew that as well, her voice coming out rather nasally and strange considering his hold on her. “You’re really nice.” 

Chuuya couldn't help but scoff though. “Did you forget that I caused all this?” 

She only pouted her lips in response though, not at all bothered by the truth. “You didn’t mean to though. You said it yourself. Besides, it’s kind of my fault too. I’m not the best with new places. It was bound to happen.” 

Shaking his head in exasperation for her answer, the boy then caught something else in her sentence. “Speaking of which, who are you? You port mafia?” 

He had never met this girl before after all, and though he was fairly new to the port mafia himself he knew he would’ve remembered her. She was too odd not to. 

And not only that, she seemed way too nice to be in a dark place like this. A little naive and stupid also. Definitely not good traits to have in the mafia. Which either meant she was new or she didn’t belong here at all. 

A moment later, he had his answer, the girl giggling to herself in a cutesy manner before smiling back. “Me? Oh no, not at all. I’m just visiting Osu.”

And because she didn’t use Dazai’s last name, Chuuya had no idea who that was, his head lifting in confusion. “....Osu?” 

She then attempted to nod under his fingers, beaming with child-like excitement. “Yeah! I’m gonna surprise him with a sleepover! Ah, I really hope he likes it. I want to make him just as happy as he makes me.” 

Her feet then began to kick happily underneath him with hidden joy as Chuuya couldn’t help but wonder who this guy really was. Sleepovers seemed kind of childish for the port mafia but then again she seemed so happy about it. He hoped it went well for her. 

Feeling her tilt her head up without permission, the red haired girl then added.  “And what about you Mr. Ginger? I take it that you're port mafia.” 

It was a conclusion that was fairly obvious given the place that they were in. So much so, Chuuya barely gave much thought to her clever deduction in order to latch his fingers even tighter around her nose in order to pull her head back down.  “Yeah I am, so you better listen to me and quit moving or else..” 

She took in his threat immediately before another apologetic smile crossed her fingers. This guy was really serious, huh? “Okay okay sorry.” 

Then all at once, Chuuya felt his shoulders relax, the anger dissipating only for that same heavy guilt to sink in. “I’m sorry too, for hittin you like this. I wasn’t thinking straight.” 

This girl wasn’t even a port mafia, she was just some guy's girlfriend or something. She had probably never even seen blood in her life and he had done something so horrible to her. A thousand apologies would never be enough. 

She only batted her eyes though, still not angry or spiteful in the slightest. “What were you thinking about?” 

Almost immediately, her words brought back the annoyances of the night, Chuuya still hearing Dazai’s ear grating insults in his ears. “Just an annoying bandaged dumb ass I have to work with. He pisses me off, that’s all.” 

What Chuuya didn’t notice though, was the way Asagao perked up at the sound of his description, her voice coming out rather curious and coaxing. “Bandaged dumb ass?” 

Nodding his head in fury, Chuuya then grumbled to himself before forcing the distaste down his throat. “Yeah, but it’s not something you gotta worry about. That guys not worth anyone's time, especially yours.” 

God, he knew that Dazai would’ve eaten this poor girl alive if he was here. She was too good for everyone in this place but especially for a monster like him. He would crush her innocent little soul into nothing. 

If only he knew, right? 

But naive little Chuuya didn’t know, his lips fixed into a frown only for the female stranger to say something rather out of pocket. “Sounds like you two are close..” 

Close? What kind of joke was that? Yeah, the boy guessed he was close to Dazai in some capacity but not any he wanted to be. They were partners, forced to be stuck together. That’s it. Just what was this girl saying, what was she inferring from his words? 

She didn’t think that two were…friends…right?

Because that was disgusting. 

And he wanted her to know that. “Close?! You gotta be fucking kidding me, I hate that guy. I’m just forced to work with him, that's all. Calling me a dog all the damn time.” 

Seriously, just what was this girl thinking? The day he actually became close to a guy like Dazai would be his last fucking day of earth. 

Yet there was something in his sentence, something at the end that caused Asagao’s head to tilt back up against his hand as her lips parted open in some sort of delicious realization. Oh, so this is your dog, Samu. I can see why you love him.

And for a moment, Chuuya paused, sensing something different in the air. 

Just why was this innocent girl looking at him so deviously, like a predator finding a new prey? It kind of creeped him out, like a horrible case of deja vu. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Yet just as quickly as it appeared, it disappeared, the girl’s head tilting back down in order to kick her legs back and forth with some sort of hidden delight. “Oooh nothing. Just thinking, that’s all.” 

The way she said that, it sounded so similar to Dazai that he couldn’t help but cringe, pushing his fingers away from her nose all at once.

But that was silly, that bastard was just getting in his head. The two couldn't be alike. She was too nice to be that twisted. 

Shaking the idea away, the ginger haired boy then took a step back before running his hands under the sink next to him with a huff. “Right..well that should be good enough for now. When you get back to Osu or whatever, make sure he takes care of you.” 

Then he watched as the red haired girl seemingly hopped to her feet before giving him a small smile in return. “Thanks..” 

Her tone was open ended, like she was looking for his name. And because he didn’t see the harm in it, the boy compiled. “Chuuya.” 

Nodding once, the girl then pulled her hand out of her pocket for him to shake before repeating the gesture. “Asagao.” 

He took her hand reluctantly, shaking back and forth before the two kids made their way out of the bathroom only for Chuuya’s head to ring with concern. She wasn’t seriously going to wander around by herself, right? That was a horrible idea. 

Pushing his hand to her shoulder, the boy then reeled her back in question. “You know, this isn’t the kind place you should be walking around alone..” 

Yet the girl simply put her hand up before laughing at his worry, almost like the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. “Oh, it’s okay! I’m not alone, I’ve been getting some help. And here they are now. Did you find everything I asked for boys?” 

Then Asa simply lifted her hand up before waving a group of scary suited men over to her, their hands full of various pillows, snacks and other items that Chuuya assumed were for her supposed “sleepover” plan.  “Yes miss.” 

He couldn’t help but gawk at the sight though, seeing the small cute girl sandwich herself between them before patting their shoulders without a care in a world. “Perfect, now let’s go! We don’t have much time.” 

Just who was this girl? And how had she commanded this group of mafia guys to do her bidding? There was no way, right? 

Yet before he could come up with an answer he heard Asagao call back to him, her hand waving as she beamed joyfully from a distance. “Thanks again Chu Chu!” 

Almost immediately he felt his lips twist in annoyance for the nickname, knowing that’s not what he said when he introduced himself. “That’s not..”

Although before he could finish the sentence, she was gone, leaving him to wonder just what kind of hurricane he had unknowingly got himself into. 

“...my name..” 

-----

Feeling his own feet carry him down the dingy steps, Dazai soon found himself back in the port mafia basement, his fingers lingering over the knives in order for his dull lifeless eyes to pick up the blade like a cruel cold welcome. 

He had picked up these weapons hundreds of times before and this was no different. It was like muscle memory at this point and the boy fully knew what was coming next. 

Dazai then seemingly slipped into his own internal thoughts, the warm lights of Bar Lupin and the soft blush that crossed Asagao’s face just a few hours prior. Such things were so lively, so real that he had almost forgotten the damp lonely feeling of where he originated from. 

In Odasaku’s apartment, in the presence of Asagao he could block out the evil inside him, he could ignore the pull to destroy and to trample, but not here. Just by the shift of the air he knew that here there could only be darkness and corruption.  

He couldn’t be a good man here, it was impossible to be. 

But perhaps that was the point, that’s why Mori had brought him here. Because he was getting too comfortable, he was beginning to delude himself from reality. He had told himself that he could change, that he could be more than a monster. 

And the boy still wanted that to be true, for Odasaku and Asagao both. 

Pushing open the rushy hinges, Dazai then made his way to the shackled prisoner before him in order to immediately dig his knife into the man’s shoulder and twist and blade in muscle memory as he cried out in agony. 

And as he felt the familiar sickening joy course through every single one of his muscles, the boy knew that it was wrong. That he shouldn’t have felt such satisfaction in making this man squirm. That’s not what a good person was supposed to do. 

Yet he did, his body, his fingers, his muscles all twitched in satisfaction with the only thing that had accompanied him since he was a child. It was familiar, pulling him further away from his original goals by the second. 

Simply because this was what this fucked up world had made him to be. 

That’s right, he was the demon prodigy, he was shaped and misformed to be this way, a perfect monster of the port mafia. If Asagao saw him then he would think so also. She would take back her belief in him.  

And though he tried to keep that fragile hope of change, with every stab and scream he physically felt it begin to slip away from him. This isn’t what Odasaku would’ve wanted, it’s not what Asagao thought he was..but this was all he had..

As a boy, as a child, Dazai was never given love, he never knew a gentle touch or a kind word. He didn’t grow up with normalcy or any sort of mundane. He went to bed with murder woke up with blood on his fingers and the sound of deafening screams.

Sometimes his own, sometimes not. But the fact remained clear as day even so..

This was what he was good at, whether Dazai liked it or not. 

And that only showed just how different he truly was to Oda’s precious little sister. The things that Asagao had lived through were great but she had gotten away where he couldn’t. She could see more than his pathetic little world. 

She was free where he would never be. 

Another stab, another trail of blood seeped across his fingers only for a dark mocking voice to fill his ears and drown out his victims screams, his own thoughts and guilt corrupting him to insanity.

You are dishonoring his memory. 

He knew that. He knew that so well, that by doing this, by torturing this guy he was going against everything that Odaskau wished for him. But he didn’t know any different, he couldn’t know any different. He wasn’t worth anything else but this. 

You are making his little sister's words useless. 

Damn it, he knew that also, okay?! A haunting memory, a foolish statement, that’s all it was. She called him a good man but what he was doing was in no way the truth. He knew she’d be disappointed like this, seeing him bathed in blood, torturing this man because of own inability to change. 

Fuck, he hated it, he hated himself for being so incompetent. 

What did she possibly see in him? Why did she call him precious? He wasn’t precious, he was a joke. A pathetic unfunny fucking joke. Didn’t she see how he was crumbling, how much of a failure he truly was?

Gritting his teeth against his own chaos, Dazai’s own demons tormented him once more.

You are not a good man. 

And as his bloodied knife raised into the air once more, the demon prodigy knew the truth, his mind screaming it like a death sentence. 

No, I’m not. I’m sorry.

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai bsd #dazai x reader #bsd #bungou stray dogs #nakahara chuuya #chuuya #dazai x female reader #dazai x odasaku!sister #bungo stray dogs odasaku #odasaku sakunosuke #chuuya fifteen #dazai fanfic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #ao3 #ao3 link #pm dazai #pm chuuya

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Not my ex trying to shame me by telling people behind my back that I’m into “freaky shit”. Like sir, I’m an ace with a tumblr account and a fan-fiction hobby for ten plus years..

I think that’s an already very well known fact. 😂

#hereallythoughthedidsomethingbutokaygooffiguess?

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch8

Chapter 8: "I'll Be Here To Welcome You"

Summary: Oda's sister finds herself at Dazai's port mafia apartment after he offered to let her stay the night. He tries to get a reaction out of her but fails miserably, or does he? (Part 1 of 2, this one is more fluff and the next part will be very angst.)

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, Dazai self destructing, Odasaku death mentions, Dazai is rough but for a purpose, manipulative behavior from both sides, underage drinking, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter eight of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 5k total

As the two kids made their way through the city streets of Yokohama, Dazai’s fingers tightened onto Odasaku’s sister’s wrist in order to drag her to their next destination.

He had tried to walk in front of her but after a couple blocks it was clear that Asagao’s blurry eyesight along with her drunken giggles betrayed her with each step, bumping into nearby strangers and random walls. And though it was quite funny to watch, the boy also didn’t really wanna treat a concussion tonight. 

But Dazai also didn’t really like the connotation that hand holding had either, the touch far too personal and intimate for his liking. So, he settled on her wrist, pulling her behind him like some sort of puppy on a leash. It wasn’t like Asa seemed to mind though. 

No, in fact it was like the girl was in her own world, smiling like an idiot the entire time as they turned another corner only for her to finally speak since their time at the bar. “Hey, Osu. Not that I’m not happy about your offer or anything but now that I think about it, isn’t it gonna seem suspicious for me to go to your house like this?” 

Dazai only shook his head though, pausing his steps for a moment in order to pull his arm towards him so the Asagao would stumble forward and meet him halfway. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. I do this all the time.” 

And stumble she did, the girl gasping at the sudden move only to place her hands onto his forearms for support so she didn’t completely fall on her face. “You do?” 

Nodding back, he hummed, not minding the touch as it wasn’t gentle or intimate in any way. “Mhm. Does that make you jealous?” 

Asa only turned her head though, clearly confused by what he was trying to say. “Why would I be jealous of that?” 

Lifting his fingers up, Dazai’s thumb and forefinger moved toward her cheeks before forcing her head forward in order for him to give a low mischievous smirk.  “Because of the things I do with those women.” 

He was messing with her obviously but there was also some truth in his statement, because he did play around with women, he did take them to his port mafia based apartment and then leave them on the street once he was done like nothing had happened. 

Dazai used them, he took the attributes that benefited him and then he threw them away without so much of a thank you or a call afterwards. 

And now he was doing the same thing to Oda’s sister..well in a way.

He was using her for her ties to his best friend, and the only difference was that Asa was fully aware of it. That didn’t make it right though. Even Dazai could understand that much. 

But all that self awareness didn’t stop him from halting his evil ways. What could he say? Bad habits died hard. This was all the boy knew how to do anyways and it was Asa’s fault for ever agreeing to such a toxic relationship to begin with. 

Asagao only frowned though, her icy blue eyes batting in pure innocence between his fingers as she replied softly. “Why would that make me jealous though?” 

Then all at once, she watched the feared port mafia executive gasp in order to reel back before slumping over in a childish pout. “Ah! Asa-chan, you’re so mean! Girlfriends are supposed to be mad and cry and throw things when boyfriends talk about other women! It’s like you don’t care about me at all!” 

The girl only blinked in surprise though, her drunk haze not allowing her to connect the upset in her brain. She thought their relationship was already pretty clear. “But we aren’t really boyfriend and girlfriend though, we are just using each other..” 

Yet that’s when Dazai gasped once more before dramatically falling to his hands and knees in order to look up at her and point to his bandaged face. “That doesn’t matter! It’s the principle of the thing. I am an attractive man so it’s only natural you’d be jealous of my history of sleeping with other women and taking them to my place like I'm doing right now with you.” 

Didn’t she get it, didn’t she understand that he was treating her just like any other slut and whore that crossed his path? She wasn’t special to him, he had basically told her that to her face and she still wasn’t jealous? He thought she said that she fell for him. 

Asa only crouched down to meet him though, her hands wrapping around her knees before giving him that same candy coated sweet smile she always did. “Oh! I couldn’t do that though. What you’ve done in the past and even the present doesn’t bother me. I already know where we stand so you don’t gotta worry about that, Osu!”

Narrowing his eyes in skepticism, Dazai then watched in real time as his insults and mockery dissolved before it hit her face causing the boy to sigh heavily. 

She should’ve been mad at him, it would’ve been so much easier than whatever this was. 

She had already let him get away with so many things. Why couldn’t she be normal for once and threaten him with the disgust like he deserved? Why was she instead always staring at him with the cute innocent little smile, the one that made his heart twist and turn with self disgust?

Lifting his hands up once more, Dazai than pinched the blind happiness from her lips, pushing her cheeks together in a goofy fashion in order to drop his act with a grumble. “Boo, you’re no fun Asa-chan. What kind of reaction is that? I wanted to see your cheeks get all puffy and your face get all red!

Asagao seemed to think about his sentence for a moment before her own fingers moved to her cheeks in order to puff them out in a fake pout to try and simulate what he was looking for only for Dazai to snort and shake his head in exasperation. 

Ah damn it, she was such a cute little drunk. Wasn’t she? Wanting to please him like this even though he was just messing with her. What a loser. 

So much so, Dazai then closed his eyes pushing her head down with his hand, rubbing the top of her hair in a messy fashion before standing back up. “Don’t push yourself, darling. You’re gonna pass out like that and I’m not gonna carry you.  Besides, we are here already.” 

Reaching his hand out, he then reattached his possessive hold around her wrist before pulling her back off the ground in order to walk up to the massive glass building in front of them. 

Asagao felt her head spin at the motion before her blurry eyes couldn’t help but focus on the sight before her. And even with half of the view and alcohol in her system, the girl could tell that the place was intimidating, the building looming over her in silent wait. 

She didn’t have much time to process it though as Dazai’s body pushed her past the entrance and into the lobby only for the two kids to be met by a row of lined up black suited men, their heads immediately bowing to the sight of the executive. “Welcome back, sir.”

Dazai completely ignored them though, his posture stiff and ever watchful as Asa gave them a polite smile and bow of her head in return with a small greeting of her own. “Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. I’m..” 

Yet that’s then the boy simply tugged her arm forward in order to practically push the girl into the nearest elevator as fast as possible, her unsteady legs stumbling into the wall with a squeak of surprise.

It was rough, yes. But this was how he treated all the other girls that he brought back and it couldn't look any different. No, nothing could raise suspicion that this was more than a typical one night stand. Otherwise their escapade would be reported to Mori. 

And that was a headache he didn’t want to deal with, knowing that her existence would cause Mori to dig his claws into the poor innocent Asagao without hesitation.

Hell, she probably shouldn’t have even been here in the first place. Ango would've definitely killed him for it, and not in a fun way.

But living on the edge of danger was an exciting thrill Dazai couldn’t pass up. He knew he could be smarter than Mori. He knew he could fool him, and that enough was reason to test his little theory and win. 

But in order to do that, he had to make this little act believable. That’s why he didn’t bat an eye at his rough demeanor, simply stepping into the elevator only to watch his idiot lackey subordinates try to follow. 

Oh no, he couldn’t have that. Seems like they were already suspicious of his intentions. Asagao wasn’t normally the type of girl he would’ve brought back after all. She was dorky and naive, usually the sluts he picked were stupid but but clearly experienced. 

Turning his head back to the men, Dazai spoke, his voice chilling and final. “That won’t be necessary.” 

And for a moment, the men hesitated, their steps pausing before glancing back to the red haired female and then back to their boss in reply. “But sir..” 

Realizing he needed to prove his intentions, Dazai then turned back to Oda’s sister before closing his eyes with conflict. He had a plan, he knew how to get them off his back but he also knew that Odasaku wouldn’t have approved. 

But desperate times caused for desperate measures. 

And to make matters worse, his silent stare seemed to cause Asagao to sense the tension as well, her head turning in drunken confusion before lifting her hand out in concern. “Osam..”

Yet before she could finish his name, Dazai’s hand grasped onto hers forcefully in order to push his body into hers as Asagao’s back slammed against the wall of the elevator before he shifted his head to obstruct the view of the subordinates. 

Then he slapped his hand over her surprised mouth before pressing his lips roughly to his own hand, the distance practically nonexistent as Dazai’s handmade barrier became the only thing keeping the two from skin to skin contact. 

But from the way his head was turned, the men only saw the executives body and hair in order for them to make the connection in their mind that Dazai had ravaged her lips in a possessive claim of ownership. 

The move only lasted for a second before the executive allowed his hand to drop from her lips in order to place one shushing motion in its place and turn around towards the watchful eyes with cold resolve. “I said, I wanted to be alone. Or do I need to repeat myself?” 

All at once, the men jumped in clear fear before immediately bowing in apology in order to click the elevator button with a gasp. “Sorry sir, please enjoy your night.” 

Then the door closed, leaving Dazai and Asagao alone as the cocky victorious boy turned towards her with a teasing smirk. “Now don’t get carried away, Asa-chan. You know why I did that right?” 

Yet the moment he turned to her, it seemed like Asa was frozen in place, her entire body as still as a statue, almost like she was in some sort of state of shock. “Y-Yeah no. I get it. They were suspicious so you had to…” 

Nodding back in confirmation, Dazai then lowered his eyes before deciding to mock her even more, his hands resting on the wall a couple inches from her head. “Of course, that’s just a little sample. If you wanted, once we get to my place I could remove my hand and we could continue where we left off?” 

Yet a second later, the boy simply freed her from his prison in order to give her a goofy defensive stance. “Just kidding! I know better than to expect that kind of reaction from you.” 

She hadn’t given him anything when he played the jealousy card so Dazai was sure that it would be the same here. It seemed like the girl had no self awareness that he was a man at all. She didn’t see him that way apparently, which was annoying in itself. 

Was he not handsome enough to make her heart race? Surely any other woman would’ve swooned over the chance to kiss him. So why wasn’t she the same?

Giving up completely, Dazai then shrugged his shoulders before the elevator dinged as the boy made his way out without a care. “Ah well, now that’s over, let’s go.” 

Yet the boy got halfway across the floor before turning around in order to realize that Asagao was still standing in the elevator, her body just as stone still as before.

Well, that was weird, even for her. 

Backtracking back to the place, Dazai then turned his head in confusion, “Asa-chan?”

At the sound of her name, Asa seemed to jump back to life, her speech stuttered and small with every approaching step. “O-Oh yeah, sorry. Just give me a second. My legs feel like jelly for some reason.” 

Feeling himself stop right in front of her, Dazai then frowned before poking his finger straight into the forehead only for the girl to immediately collapse like a tower of cards, her legs giving out from underneath her before she giggled pathetically on the floor. “H-Ha ha sorry...I don’t know what’s gotten into me. You can just leave me here, I’ll catch up..” 

The boy only watched in stunned silence though, seeing the seemingly unchanging Oda Asagao crumble to her knees by a simple fake kiss in order for his lips to twist into a smug smile.

So she does see me as a man after all. 

And this time it was Dazai that crouched down to meet her, his lips letting out a small airy chuckle of pure amusement and relief before placing his hands onto his knees in reply. “Aww, Asa-chan. You’re so cute. I didn’t know you could be so flustered by me.” 

Finally finding use of her muscles, Asa then frowned before covering her entire face with her hands as Dazai saw the very bright pink hue of her entire face. “I-It was just a surprise, that’s all. That and the alcohol mixed together are making me weird.” 

The boy knew it was more than that though. Sure, she probably was more aware of him because of the alcohol but that blush on her cheeks was definitely because of their almost kiss. Ah, Asa-chan was always amusing him in the best ways. 

He couldn’t get sick of this even if he tried. 

Because of that, Dazai only rolled his eyes, not taking her words at face value before reaching his arms forward in order to hook them under her armpits. “Sure sure, whatever you wanna call it. Now come on, up you go!” 

Lifting his arms up, Asagao’s body then followed him, hosting her upwards until she was back on her feet before she stumbled into his chest. Wow, he really did a number on her, didn’t he? Poor princess couldn’t pull herself together, 

Dazai laughed in response, placing his hand to the back of her head in order to ground her to reality “So needy, love.” 

The girl only shook her head though, muttering a reply into his jacket. “Smmorry..” 

The words were muttered but he knew she was apologizing in some sort of way. Ah, damn it. Just when he thought Oda’s sister couldn’t get any more adorable she surpassed it. 

Thinking about his spontaneous kiss, Dazai felt his own eyes lower. This was kind of his fault in the first place. He didn’t give her any warning about what he was going to do. And though it was obvious that Asa didn’t hate his plan, she was certainly stunned by it. 

And normally his response would’ve been to step back and let her fall on her face but after their night at Bar Lupin and the blind words of faith he uttered about him, Dazai tried something different. 

This was his fault after all. “Ah well, I guess I’ll take responsibility this once.” 

Then the boy simply reached down before hoisting Asa up by her legs in order to push her over his shoulder, much to her surprise. “O-Osamu, what are you..” 

Dazai only cut her off though, voice smug. “Not another word, love or I’ll drop you.” 

That seemed to be enough to get her to pause before Dazai simply walked around the corner and opened the door to his apartment, not even bothering to flick on the light and throw the poor red haired girl face first onto the sofa and rid himself of the overly out of character act. 

Asagao only groaned at the impact though, feeling the soft cotton assault her face.

Yet that’s when his phone started to sound inside his pocket only for the boy to pull the object and read the text with a frown as Asa looked up from the cushions. “Who is that?” 

Sighing heavily, Dazai then shoved the object back in his jacket before replying shortly. “Mori. He probably wants to know why I missed the scheduled raid today.” 

At that, Asagao turned her head, anxiety in her eyes as she tried to process the sentence in her drunken brain. “What? Why did you miss it? Oh no, it’s not because I fell asleep on you, right? I told you you should’ve pushed me off. I didn’t wanna get you in trouble with your boss.” 

Dazai only shook his head though, unbothered by her stress. “Relax, love. I skip boring things all the time. Besides, it was worth it to hear the anger in my dog's voice! You did me a favor.” 

He then chuckled to himself, still pleased with the trouble he caused Chuuya only for Asa to speak out of his psychotic glee. “You should go smooth things out then.” 

Frowning at her words, Dazai then leaned forward in order to teasingly run a couple fingers through her messy crimson locks. “And leave my favorite girl all alone on our first night together?”

Asagao only shook her head though. “I don’t wanna keep you from your job. Plus it would be bad if they came looking for you, right? I’m not supposed to be here.” 

She was making him see logic, something that Dazai didn’t really want to face. The last thing he wanted to do was go see Mori and listen to his old man nagging, but she was right. If he didn’t show up then the boss would probably come to him, and that’s what he was trying to avoid. 

Looks like he had no choice. Just great. 

Humming in distaste for the truth, Dazai then leaned forward, his voice slightly threatening and low. “Then will you promise me you’ll be a good girl and wait for me here?” 

Asa didn’t seem shaken at all, her eyes playing in confusion under her large framed glasses. “What do you think I’m gonna do?” 

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but smile, telling her the absolute and honest truth. “I don’t know, and that’s the best thing about you, Asa-chan. I can’t predict you. You’re an enigma in the most interesting ways.” 

And she was, she really was. To Dazai, Oda’s sister was the most unpredictable force he had ever met. Sure, there were moments he could guess, there were circumstances where he could control her in the way he wanted, but there were others that left him completely and utterly speechless. 

When she said that he was a good man, when she called him precious, when she confessed that she would’ve joined the port mafia for him, they played on a strange complicated repeat inside his brain, the boy still unable to process them in any sense. She was dangerous in all the best and worst ways possible. 

But the most dangerous part of it all was that Asagao was completely oblivious to it all. She had no idea what kind of impact, what kind of unraveling her seemingly insignificant words had on the port mafia executive. 

And to prove his point, Asagao only smiled in response, the gentle and kind nature in itself absolutely earth shattering as she hummed back. “I’ll be here to welcome you home..” 

Not wanting to get uncomfortable by the proximity of her light, Dazai then quickly took a step back before immediately heading from the door before he changed his mind. 

How foolish of her, the audacity to say such a thing. This place wasn’t his home. 

He didn’t even have one of those. 

Shaking the thought from his mind, Dazai then looked back at the unmoving girl before speaking back threateningly, knowing it wouldn’t shake her in any way. “You better keep to that, love. Breaking a promise with the devil is a fate worse than death..” 

And just like that the mafioso disappeared from the apartment completely. 

------

After a couple minutes, Asagao finally started to gain feeling back in her legs in order to sit up from the darkened sofa with a sigh. What was wrong with her? Why did she have to act so stupid in front of Osamu? Stupid alcohol, usually she was cooler than that. 

And more she thought about it, the more she felt her hands run over her face in an embarrassingly flustered groan. Osu kept having to look after her, first with her mistake of falling asleep on his shoulder and now when he carried her because she couldn’t stand.

Just great, Asagao, you keep inconveniencing him.

And to be honest, the fact that he was still sticking around was a complete mystery to her. Usually people got sick of her by now. It was probably because of their deal, that had been the only reason he was tolerating her this much. 

So much so, Asagao wanted to do something for him. Either for an apology or in some sort of appreciation for him showing her that wonderful bar and dealing with her this long. But what? What could make a scary mafia executive happy? 

Thinking about the idea, the girl then scrambled over to the light switch on the wall in order to flick the object and be greeted by Osamu’s apartment for the first time. 

Then without meaning to, Asagao’s eyes widened at the sight before her. 

And even without her full vision, the girl could feel the cold and empty nature of his place, like no one had ever actually occupied it. The walls were bare simple white, each room massive and yet just as lonely as the last. 

Sure, in theory this place was a dream, a playboy's penthouse, an expensive luxury, dripping with rare future/views of Yokohama, but in actuality it just felt like an empty shell. Did Osamu even sleep here half the time, or did he choose somewhere else?

Because to her, it seemed like the latter. 

Wanting to see if she was right, Asagao then gripped the ends of her glasses before slowly taking them off only for her to quickly slap them back on with a horrified gasp. No, she was right. This place was just as sad as she thought it was. 

It really was a reflection of who he was on the inside, a depressed, struggling, suicidal boy that was crying for help only to be met with ear chilling silence. 

The very sight caused Asagao to dip her head before an idea flashed inside her head. What if he came home to something different this time, what if she could change this empty sad feeling into something else? Would that make him smile? 

Would that give him the same happiness she felt tonight at Bar Lupin?

Quickly thinking back to conversations she overheard back home, Asa's eyes then filled with determination before moving outside of the apartment and down the elevator in order to reach the main lobby they had walked through before. 

Yet her thoughts were quickly stopped when she came face to face with those very same subordinates from earlier, their eyes looking at the girl with cautious confusion as she beamed. “Oh, hello! Remember me? We’ve met before, well kinda...anyways don’t mind me! I’m just gonna..” 

Although that’s when the men seemingly stepped into her path before speaking roughly. “Dazai has ordered that you go back to his apartment and wait for him to return. I suggest you listen before things get bad for you.”

He was threatening her, but Asa hardly cared, the girl was more interested in the first part of his sentence. Ah, Osamu knew she wouldn’t stay put. Smart boy. “Oh, did he? And what were his exact orders?” 

The man’s voice was straightforward. “To not let you out of our sight.” 

Humming in response, Asa then rocked her back on her heels before answering sweetly.  “And if I don’t listen?” 

At that, she watched the port mafia men take another step closer to her, something that didn’t cause her to shift at all. “Then tonight will be the last night you’re alive..” 

His fingers then brushed towards the gun on his side as Asagao resisted the urge to snort at his piss poor attempt of a threat. How unoriginal. “And how would your executive feel about you ending the life of his girl?” 

This time it was the subordinates turn to laugh, their voices laced with venom. “He doesn’t care about some no-named slut. You’re only here for one reason and then you will be disposed of like all the others.” 

Asa only placed a finger to her lips though, thinking about the insult before answering a second later. “Right, but are you really sure about that? Because if you are wrong I can imagine the punishment from Dazai won’t be very pretty, once he finds out you killed his favorite toy after being ordered to keep an eye on me.” 

And then she watched as the man’s muscles started to tense, his next steps hesitant as Asagao resisted the urge to sadistically smirk under her breath. Got him. 

She hated this manipulative part of her but in situations like this it made things quite useful. Besides, these guys had it coming with that insult. 

This was for Osamu after all. Because of that she knew she couldn't let these rude men get in her way. 

Pushing even further, Asagao then guided her hand down towards the gun on his waist before throwing his own threat back into his face. “But if you truly think you’re right then go ahead and shoot me, mister scary subordinate. Just know you might be skinned alive for it later...” 

Then she waited, she waited for her words to sink into his stupid little brain. It was foolish on his part to assume such things about Osamu after all. She knew this guy didn’t have the confidence to put a bullet in her brain without consequence.

It was a huge risk, one that very few would make. 

And a moment later, she watched him cave, the subordinates' stance shrinking back only for Asagao to clap her hands in a victorious fake cutesy laughter. “Ah, I knew we could come to an understanding! Now, chop chop, I could use some extra hands for this and since you need to keep an eye on me anyways this is the perfect opportunity!” 

And just like that, step one for Osamu was complete. 

Don't worry Osu, I'll make you happy for sure.

----

(Like I said, this is more of a part 1 cause the next chapter connects to it. It will have a different tonal shift though and deal a lot with Dazai's character so I split it up. )

( Also don't worry, Dazai and Asa are fifteen currently in this story and though it's implied about his past with women, being in the mafia and all, I'm not gonna write any of those things cause he's a minor. Them staying the night at his place is more of a subversion type thing which will make more sense in the next chapter)

Thanks for the love on this! This is my first bsd story and you've all made me feel so welcome! It hasn't even been a month and we are almost at 500 readers on A03. I'm gonna cry. <3

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x female reader #dazai x reader #dazai x odasaku!sister #bungo stray dogs odasaku #odasaku sakunosuke #dazai bsd #bsd #a03 fanfic #a03 writer #a03 fic #read on a03 #fanfiction #fanfic writing #ao3 author #fifteen dazai #15 dazai

[ashleyh713fanfics]

You all got me kicking my feet and giggling from all the love and comments on my Dazai x Odasaku!Sister fanfic I’m writing 🥹

Just know that every read, every interaction, every comment I see makes me so incredibly happy. I love writing and seeing that you love it also makes my heart so full! I will update every three days to a week as I have a full time job but I hope you will look forward to what I have in store 💜

See this post and wanna check it out?

Well here’s the A03 link for you hehe:

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch6 and Ch7

Double Post:

Chapter 6: "Why Don't We Go On A Date?"

Chapter 7: "As Long As I Have You In My Life"

Summary: After Dazai's horrifying discovery that he is Odasaku's sister's "lifeline" and "only tie to her brother" the boy tries to give her something more permanent than a sad suicidal mistake like him.

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, Dazai self destructing Odasaku death mentions, mention of torture/cruel training, manipulative behavior from both sides, underage drinking, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter six and seven of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 10k total

Chapter 6:

Osamu..I think you’re a good man. 

Six little words, six little words brought his entire world to a stand still. 

The foolishness of them danced across Dazai’s brain over and over again trying to decipher anything and everything about them only to come up empty. He couldn’t comprehend them, he couldn’t form them into reality no matter how hard he tried. 

So much so, that time passed by in a millisecond, Dazai staring at absolutely nothing, not present in the world at all. 

The bustling laughter of children as they made their way to school, the soft music from the speakers of the nearby shops, the feeling of a soft breeze across his features, none of them registered inside his brain. 

The only thing that did was the weight on his back, both emotional and physical as Asagao’s form slept motionless, unaware of the malfunction she had ushered by saying those six stupid, foolish and dangerous words. 

Just then, his phone started to sound inside his pocket only for the executive to finally look down and pull the object out, the move causing Asagao’s lips to let out a disgruntled groan in the process in order to shift the back of her head further across his shoulder. 

Answering the call, Dazai then heard a very familiar voice, pissed off per usual. “Hey Dazai! Where the hell are you!? I’ve been waiting for you to start this raid for three hours! You better get your sorry ass over here right now before I kick ya into next week, you hear me?!” 

At that, the boy’s eyes couldn’t help but flash with realization. Oh yeah, that’s right. Chuuya and him were supposed to raid a rival organization's hideout today. 

You see, the thing was, that whole little plan had slipped his mind because it was so utterly unimportant to him in every possible way. 

So much so, the bandaged menace lifted an eye in amusement. “Oh yeah, I decided I’m not coming! I got more important things to do. So do your best in my place, kay?” 

Lifting the phone away from his ear, he then waited as Chuuya’s voice shouted straight through the speaker, peaking the audio from how close he was to the device. “Ha?! You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me! You can’t just ditch!! What the hell do you gotta do instead?!” 

Dazai then put a finger up to his lips before humming back teasingly. “So nosey Chuuuya, are you jealous?” 

Almost immediately, the hot headed boy replied, disgusted by the notion. “Why the fuck would I be..! 

Yet that’s when the mafioso smirked before reaching forward in order to wrap his fingers around one of Asa’s crimson strains of hair hanging by her back in order to speak suggestively. “If you must know, I’m spending my day with a beautiful woman. So now you see why I can’t be there for your little raid. I’m already gonna have my hands full with something else.” 

The way he spoke those words, it was like he was implying something. Like he had just found another whore to sleep with and break for his own pleasure. And although that wasn't the case this time, Dazai knew that Chuuya would make the incorrect connection for him. 

And a moment later, the idiot man did just that. “You sick bastard! I swear to god I’m gonna..” 

Dazai only cut him off though, satisfied with the rage he had incurred before cheerfully replying back in a devious tone. “Oops! Seems like there's a bad connection. Gotta go, Chuuya! Now go be the good dog you are and capture that organization for me! Kay, byeee!” 

Then before he could interject, the brown haired mafioso quickly hung up the phone before throwing it into the grass with a large sadistic smile.

Ah, that was better. Nothing like Chuuya’s idiot thinking to snap him back to reality. 

Glancing back towards the sleeping Asagao, Dazai then lifted his hands up in order to physically push her head off of his shoulder only for the girl to groan in irritation, still not awake yet. 

Dazai then turned his body only for Asa’s head to fall onto his lap instead, the sudden warmth causing her to snuggle deeper only for the boy to tense at the sudden contact. Did this girl have no shame? She was just cuddling up with a murderer like nothing. 

Forcing himself to relax at the contact, the man then looked at her in exasperation. Damn, this girl slept like a rock. He supposed he’d have to try something else. 

Lifting his hands up, he then slipped his fingers around the large circular frames of her glasses in order to pull them off slowly with hum. “Time to wake up, sleeping beauty. Being so defenseless around a man like me, it’s not a wise decision.” 

She didn’t respond though, causing the boy to then narrow his expression before pressing his forefinger straight in the middle of her forehead roughly and poke the surface only for her to finally flop her eyes open with a whine. “Samu..” 

What was going on? She was so warm, so comfortable. 

Hold on, why was Osamu in her dreams? 

Just then, Asa then seemed to register the situation before she blinked in realization in order to propel her head off of his lap and gasp. “Osu?!” 

Laughing at her confused state, Dazai  then turned his head towards the fumbling girl. “Good afternoon, sweetheart. Glad you could join us today.” 

Asagao was still groggy though, the events of last night not fully registering as she placed a hand to her head. “W-What? What happened? Why was I…” 

Yet Dazai was happy to cut her off, his voice coming out pained and over dramatic as he held his back with a fake little pout. “You fell asleep on me and now my back really hurts. You’re so mean, Asa-channn making me stay here like this. Owwie..It was so uncomfortable!” 

It wasn’t really, but the boy wasn’t about to tell her the real reason why he had stayed complacent the whole time.  He didn’t want her to know that he had malfunctioned beyond basic human understanding. 

That just the mere belief in him had caused the boy to unravel. 

Asa only turned her head though, not really buying his “poor me” act in the slightest. “But you stayed here this whole time? Why didn’t you wake me up?” 

Almost immediately, the girl was confused. She knew Dazai wasn’t a touchy kind of guy, so the fact that he had willingly let her sleep on his shoulder for hours wasn’t in his character. So why had he done it? Why had he allowed such a thing?

And that was the question wasn't it? Why didn’t Dazai wake up, why did such a simple yet foolish statement cause him to lose sight of reality. It was stupid, he was stupid for it. Those words didn’t even mean anything. So why was he so enamored by them all the same?

But of course, he said none of those things, his mind an impenetrable fortress as he only smiled goofily in order to cover up his own conflict. “How could I when you looked so cute?” 

Asa didn’t even blink though, seeing through his facade in an instant. “I’m being serious Osu, you didn’t have to stay here for hours. You should’ve just thrown me off. I’m sure you had something important to do today.” 

That’s what he should’ve done, both of them knew it. Dazai wasn’t the kind of man to just selflessly allow such a thing to happen. Usually he’d just leave them in the grass and abandon them all together.

But this time, for some reason that Asa couldn’t figure out, he stayed. 

Not wanting to talk about such things anymore, Dazai then glanced towards the phone a couple inches away from him before recalling Chuuya’s pissed off reaction. 

And yes, he did have something to do today but letting his partner struggle was way more fun. So maybe this wasn't so bad after all. 

Because of that, the boy simply shrugged before fixing his crumbled black jacket carelessly. “Nothing interesting, but I must thank you, love. You gave me something far more entertaining in return.” 

Not understanding Dazai then watched Asa bat her innocent little eyes and turn her head in return. “And what’s that?” 

Already feeling his lips curve into a smug sadistic smirk, he finished cheerfully. “Why, an opportunity to mess with my favorite dog!” 

In fact, Dazai could already picture the stupid dumbfounded look on Chuuya’s face when he told him that he was ditching. It was music to his ears. Now he couldn’t join the raid, not when he had already gotten such a satisfying reaction from his favorite toy.

And though Asa didn’t fully understand what he was saying, his twisted response didn’t bother her in the slightest. In fact, it was the opposite, the girl thinking he would’ve been pissed after hours of having to be her pillow. 

Brushing the dirt and grass off her skirt, Asagao then pushed her feet to stand before looking out towards the bustling sounds around her. “Well, I’m glad you’re not mad but I guess I should be heading back. I already took up way too much of your time.” 

After this annoying night, the only thing she wanted now was to crawl back in her bed before she died of embarrassment from drooling on her brother’s best friend's shoulder without knowing. In fact, she could already feel the heat emerging to her cheeks at the memory. 

Yet that’s when Dazai paused before glancing towards the girl. “That might not be the best idea, love.” 

Asagao then paused only for the mafioso to grab his phone in order to show her the message he had received just a couple minutes prior. “I had my men stake out the place and it seems like Ango is still there. If you go back now he’ll probably try to drag you back again..” 

Then all at once, she felt her face fall. Oh yeah, Ango. She had forgotten about that stuck up, straight laced, government agent. Damn it, looks like she couldn’t relax like she wanted to now that he was chasing after her again. 

Grumbling to herself, Asa then ran a hand across her face with frustration before shaking her head in exasperation. Just when would he give it a rest? “...Great...looks like I can’t go home after all..” 

She then closed her eyes, trying her best not to show her annoyance before Asa sighed in order to turn back to the bandaged boy with a wave of her hand. “Either way, thanks again, Osu. I’ll let you get back to your illegal activities now.”

Dazai then watched her start to leave, already knowing that she was going to bumble around the city in order to kill time until Ango left. The question was, would she even make it back home with her blurry offset eyesight? Now that was to be determined. 

Just then, last night's events began to play in his mind like some kind of punishment. There was her voice again, mocking him into still silence. 

Osamu..I think you’re a good man.

Just great. First Odasaku was haunting him and now his sister was doing the same. Why couldn’t he get her foolish little statement out of his head? 

It’s not like he was happy about it, it was just a delusion on her part after all. Although now that he thought about it, Asagao seemed to delude herself about everything. 

She deluded herself by hoping that life had meaning, she deluded herself into never looking at the negatives and she deluded herself into thinking her big brother resented her even though it was not true.

But the biggest mistake she seemed to make was picking Dazai to be her constant, her unmovable tangible source of Odasaku’s life. Sure, letters were one thing, they were physical, unchanging, but him? He knew that he wasn’t reliable in that sense. 

Yes, Dazai knew himself better than anyone else. He was fragile and flighty, a flicker in this pathetic life that could burn out with just a slightest blow of air. He was wavering and artificial, and the fact that she had so openly stated that he was her lifeline was something that the boy found incredibly foolish. 

Because he couldn’t give her what she desired, what she needed more than anything. 

She couldn’t ground herself with him, even if she wanted to.

Because Dazai didn’t want to live, he didn’t want to wake up tomorrow and carry on with this joke of a life. And one day he was sure he would succeed in his wish to finally disappear from this world entirely. It was inevitable, and yet Asagao still clung to his physical body simply because she had nothing else to prove Odasaku’s writings. 

And Dazai knew she would be ruined like that, that putting such desperation into an already dead man would result in a cataclysmic detonation beyond human prescription. 

Because of that, the boy felt himself move, reaching forward in order to grasp onto Asagao’s hand and pull her against his chest. “You know, since we are now both suddenly free. Why don’t we go on a date?” 

Asagao only paused though, feeling the warmth from the proximity before turning to look at him in confusion. Did she just hear that right? No, it couldn’t be. “You’re asking me on a date?

Lifting his hands up with excitement, Dazai then spoke back. “Why not! My darling girlfriend has planned two of them already. I think it’s time I do the honors this time.” 

And he thought Asa would jump for joy at that, although it seemed she only stared at him with disbelief, like she couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. “I didn’t think you’d care about that kinda thing..” 

Pouting his lips, Dazai then jumped back from the girl in question before dramatically whining back. “How mean, Asa-chan. How could you say such hurtful things to your boyfriend like that? Did you ever think I just wanna spend some extra time with my cute girl?” 

Once again though, Asa deadpanned, not buying his boy-ish act. “Not really no..”

Gasping at her blunt reply, Dazai then shoved his hand over his heart in order to hunch over like he had been shot. “Ouch. You wound me, love! I don’t know how I’ll ever recover now!”

Although that’s when Asagao simply shut her eyes before giving a heavy sigh in order to turn back to the boy with a light smile. “Osamu, I appreciate the gesture but you know you don’t have to push yourself like that for me. I’ve already bothered you enough by going past our agreement and fell asleep on your shoulder without asking. I couldn't expect more.”

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but pause. Ah, she knew he was going out of his character and pushing himself past what he would normally do. What a clever girl, picking him apart like that. He couldn’t help but admire it.  

And though she was right in a sense, it wasn’t about want or not. It was more of a need. The need to give Oda’s sister something more reliable and tangible then just a sad suicidal boy like him, something that wouldn’t fade from her fingertips without warning. 

Because of that, Dazai simply reached forward in order to hold onto both her hands, a new sparkle in his eyes. “Aww Asa-chan, you’re so sweet for worrying about me. My heart has been restored! And don’t worry about the agreement, just think of this little outing as a freebie!” 

Asagao still didn’t seem overly convinced though, the girl trying to decipher his hidden intentions silently as Dazai smugly smiled. Oh, she was working overtime to get into his head, wasn’t she? Too bad he wasn’t going to reveal this little secret. 

And just as the boy predicted. Asa was stumped. She knew he wasn’t being genuine about asking for a date, that he had some kind of plan underneath it all. Hell, the boy didn’t even care about her, that much was already established. So why all of a sudden had Dazai asked for this strange request? 

She was curious, sure, but Oda’s sister still tried to stay strong, knowing she had already burdened him way too much today. Who cares if he was trying to manipulate her right now into something, their agreement was only about the letters. Nothing else. 

And she had already broken that rule tonight. No, she couldn’t break it any further. 

Yet that’s when Dazai lowered his eyes slowly before adding nonchalantly. “Oh, and did I forget to mention we are going somewhere that has to do with Odasaku?” 

Then all at once, Asagao felt her head immediately snap back to his. Wait, he was going to take her somewhere that her brother visited? Damn it, he knew she couldn’t resist that, not when she had been searching for traces of him all throughout Yokohama. 

Dazai on the other hand was smiling like a fiend, knowing that he had her right where he wanted her. From just the look on her face he knew she was squirming with conflict right now. Just the way he liked it. 

A moment later, Asagao replied, her voice slightly desperate. “Where?”

The mafioso then darkened before pushing a mocking finger up to her lips in order to cut off her curiosity. “Ah ah ah, you gotta say the magic words first. Now, let’s try this again..” 

Pushing his fingers away, Dazai then dipped his head down in a dramatic bow in order to lift his hand out to the girl in question, already knowing she was trapped against a metaphorical wall. “What do you say, love? Will you go on a date with me?” 

And for a moment, Asagao paused, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. But the more the silence clung onto the air, the more her fingers began to fidget and twitch with the idea of finding out more about her brother. 

Then all at once, her resolve faltered before muttering under her breath with embarrassment. “As long as you don’t mind..” 

Yet Dazai only shook his head at the weak attempt, wiggling his fingers in front of her before humming back in dissatisfaction. “I need a yes, love.” 

And then he waited, he waited for the submission that was a guarantee. Yes, Asagao was clever, she read him a million different ways but it seemed he still knew how to get what he wanted. And this time, he would win their little game. 

Taking a heavy breath, Asagao then closed her eyes before lifting her hand out to the devious man in question, already knowing she had lost this round. “Yes, Osamu. I’ll go on a date with you...” 

Although before her fingers could make contact with her hand, Dazai immediately closed the distance before grasping onto her hand with an excited cheer. “Yay! Now that wasn’t so hard, was it? Come on, let’s go!” 

He then shifted his fingers down to her wrist before turning around in order to drag the poor girl down an uncertain path as Dazai beamed happily, pulling his tamed little puppy along the way. 

And with that, he marked another tally in victory. 

Dazai Osamu: 2  Oda Asagao: 1

----

Chapter 7:

Throughout her blurry uncertain vision, Asagao felt her body pulled towards the unknown as she focused on the solid black mass that had consumed her whole world. And whether he realized it or not, the girl slowly felt the outside murmurs and voice disappear into her own mind. 

Because nothing else but him mattered to her.

Osamu seemed to have that effect on her every time she saw them, Asa always desperate to soak in everything about the oblivious boy regardless of the barriers in front of her eyes. His words, his actions, the way he held himself, the cadence in which he spoke, she categorized it all. 

Which was why his decision to take her on this date was so odd. 

Because as far as she knew, Osu wasn’t that kind of man. He was a cruel, manipulative, mafia executive that only did things out of pure entertainment or for some kind of tactical advantage. 

Yes, her brother was different but Asagao knew that the blood in her veins didn’t fully protect her from Dazai’s real character. 

Which was fine. She didn’t care that he was incapable of emotion and kindness. That’s not why she was here in the first place. She wasn’t that simple minded, and the last thing she wanted him to do was force himself out of that box and make him uncomfortable. 

But it seemed that today he wouldn’t take no for an answer which meant that he either had some other intention with their date or he was pushing himself to do something strange for the sake of Oda. 

Sighing to herself, Asagao then paused as her body collided with the mafia executive, not realizing the man had stopped completely. Oh, were they here already? She didn’t recognize this part of town. 

Yet that's when she felt his fingers reach forward in order to snatch the large circular frames from her face, eradicating her safety net as Asa’s eyes widened in fear. What was he doing? She didn’t want to see the world right now. “O-Osam..”

Although before she could protest, Dazai replaced the object with his hands, pushing her back against his chest in order to darken her surroundings before she could have time to process them. 

Then she heard his voice, sharp against her ear. “You’ll want to fully see this, love.” 

Fully see it? No, that was impossible. She didn’t want to see anything, she didn’t want to decipher anything fully. Then she would see the darkness, she would see the cracks in the perfect facade that life displayed. 

Dazai seemed to sense her distress though, his tone teasing as his fingers pressed deeper across her eyes to show her that they weren’t going anywhere. “What’s wrong, don’t trust your boyfriend? Afraid I’m going to hurt you while you’re defenseless like this?”

He was trying to scare her, to intimate her per usual. But if he thought that she was going to crumble between his fingers then he was sorely mistaken. “You know that’s not why..it’s just..my eyes..” 

Asa then heard him laugh in pure amusement before his bandaged arm brushed against hers in order to lift the surface and place it on an unknown doorknob in front of them. “Don’t worry, darling. I got you.” 

Did that mean he was going to keep her eyes covered for her until they got to where he wanted her to see? But what if he slipped up, what if he let go accidentally or for some kind of joke? What he was asking for required a lot of trust, trust from a boy that thrived on sadistic games. 

But even so, Asa complied, her fingers turning open the door as Dazai urged her forward in order for her breath to lodge inside her throat with each step. She had nothing to guide her, nothing but his body to rely on. 

Just then, his fingers found her wrist before lifting them up in order for her to register a railing as the mafioso hummed back into her ear. “Count the steps, love. There are twenty of them.” 

And so she did, the girl gripping around the railing for dear life as she counted each invisible step in her mind, careful not to trip as her back brushed against Dazai’s body in order to ground herself. 

Finally reaching the bottom, Asagao then sighed in relief only to hear him speak once again, the sound causing shivers to run down her spine. “Good girl, here’s your reward.” 

Yet that’s when she felt the safety of his fingers start to disappear from her eyes, causing Asa to gap in horror. Wait, what was he doing? He hadn’t given her glasses back. Was he serious about her seeing this place with her eyes? No, that was too scary. 

Blinding lights then filled her vision, causing the girl to squint before she couldn’t help but freeze at the very sight before her. And in a millisecond, she seemed to forget her own rule about viewing things from a blurry lens. 

Because staring back at her was a small cozy little bar, the atmosphere warm and secluded with rows of stools and the smell of liquor wafting through the air. 

Wait, she had seen this place before. 

Aggressively shoving her hands into her pockets, Asagao then pulled out the picture that Dazai had shown her last night before her eyes couldn’t help but widen with realization in order to lift the photo in front of the place slightly. 

Her assumption was right, it was a perfect match. 

Feeling any response fall silent in her throat, Oda’s sister whispered. “Is this…” 

Dazai finished for her, his hands in his pockets as he looked at the place in nostalgic sadness. “Bar Lupin, where the picture was taken.”

And almost immediately, Asagao felt her throat fill with emotion in order for her vision to blur with tears only for her to immediately blink them away. 

No, she didn’t want to only see the blurry picture of this place. She needed it to be real, to soak in every nook and cranny into it was permanently etched in her mind. 

Now she knew what Dazai had meant by saying she would have wanted to fully see this place without the barriers of her glasses. He was right, he was so incredibly right. This feeling, these physical floorboards under her feet. They felt so real. 

Her big brother had stood in this same exact spot, he had breathed in the same air and had seen the same view. 

Sure, she had been living in his old apartment for some time but Asagao had no proof that he had ever inhabited the place. 

But with the photograph between her fingers, Asagao knew that her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. Oda was here, and now so was she. The idea was so simplistic and yet it brought her so much joy, her hands unable to stop the shake and smile towards the empty bar. 

Then she turned to the supposedly heartless mafioso before speaking through her tears. “Osamu, this is..thank you..I’m so happy..” 

So this is what he was trying to show her? He must have gotten the idea after hearing her outburst to Ango about not having anything but Osamu to cling to. How sweet, he knew she needed this more than anything. 

He always tried to act so scary but he really was like this, huh?

Dazai on the other hand stared at the empty place in silence as a mix of grief and familiar comfort coursed through him all at once. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t come back after Odasaku's death, and yet here he was all the same. 

The memories, the feelings were all so suffocating, he wished he never felt them in the first place. But this was the only place that Dazai knew Odasaku in, this was the only place that he could give Asagao. Because of that, he had gone against his own wishes. 

At least this place wouldn’t fade like himself, and that was enough for Dazai. 

That’s right, now when Dazai finally succeeded to die, when he left this world he knew that she could wallow her sorrows here, she could find her big brother in these walls. 

Now the boy wasn’t the only physical tie to Odasaku she had. 

Yeah, now he could die with peace again without the guilt of destroying the last piece of his best friend that resided in this shitty little life. Did that make him a good person? He wasn’t sure but this was something he felt like he had to do. 

For Odasaku, and for his precious little sister that the man had left in his fingers. 

Closing his eyes, Dazai then tried to wash away the feeling before settling into his usual seat by the bar in order to wave over the girl in question. “Let’s have a drink, love.” 

He then watched as she complied immediately, slipping into the stool beside him only for an unpleasant deja vu to fill his throat. Without her glasses she looked even more like Odasaku, especially from this angle. 

The bartender turned to him immediately, his tone plain. “What will it be, Dazai?” 

Tapping his fingers onto the top of the table, the mafioso already knew the answer. “Whiskey.” 

Then the boy turned his gaze towards Oda’s sister only to rest his head on the palm of his hand with a slight tease. “Well, what about you, darling? Don’t worry, they have apple juice.” 

He didn’t expect her to actually drink alcohol of course. She was just a fifteen year old girl, hardly old enough for liquor.

And hey, so was he but being in the mafia gave him a free pass. Besides, considering his other crimes, underage drinking was pretty low on the list of immoral behavior. 

Yet that’s when Asa pushed her lips together cutely before pushing her hand up in order to shield her hollow eyes and reply to the bartender. “Make that a double, please..” 

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but raise an eye, not expecting her response.“Ooooh, I’m impressed. But your brother would’ve had a heart attack hearing that.”

And he really would have. In fact, Dazai knew Odasaku would’ve definitely shut down Asagao's request for alcohol. Unlucky for her though, the boy wasn’t that considerate about laws and such. 

What could he say? Ango was right, he was a bad influence. 

Two amber colored drinks then slid into view as Asagao lightly traced her finger around the rim with a hum. “Would he? Then he better not find out that I started years ago.” 

Years ago, huh? Perhaps Asagao wasn’t as good of a girl as he once thought. “How scandalous, Asa-chan. Should I tell Ango about that?” 

At that, he watched her scrunch her nose up in disgust. “And what about you, Osu? You’re the same age as me.” 

Dazai only hummed though, knowing it wasn’t the same. “I’m also a criminal, love.” 

Asagao was silent, like she was processing the words before she threw the entire drink into the back of her throat before whispering bitterly. “Yeah well, so was I.” 

The words were so small and yet Dazai heard every symbol before curiosity and intrigue couldn’t help but take up his entire throat. Now why did she have to say something like that? Now he wanted to pry into her mind and pull out an answer. 

And there were many ways to do it, but none of them were savory in any way. You see, Dazai was skilled in manipulation and exploitation. He could seduce and coax even the strongest willed people. 

So trying to make Asagao talk about her life was as simple as blinking for him. 

It didn't matter if she seemed bothered when Ango brought it up last night. He’d get her to talk about it one way or another. 

Lifting his hand up excitedly, Dazai than beamed towards the bartender before waving. “Two more!” 

And as two more sets of liquor appeared in his vision, the boy simply slid them over to Asa with a fake innocence and a smile. “Go ahead, Asa-chan. And don’t worry about the price, it’s on me.”

He then watched Asagao look down at the new glass before picking up the object between her fingers.

And for a moment, Dazai thought he had succeeded in his bribe.

Although that’s when the girl simply closed her eyes before speaking into the glass plainly. “You know, Osamu. You don’t have to get me drunk. I’ll answer any question you want.” 

At that, Dazai felt himself pause before his smile dropped all at once in order for him to change into his true cruel nature. 

Ah, he should’ve figured it wasn’t gonna be that easy to coax her into his plans. He still wasn’t used to that, having someone that could read him almost instantly like a book. 

Although that’s when he truly processed her words. Wait, did she just say that he could’ve just asked her about her life? Interesting, Dazai had never had that before. Usually they shut him down and he had to resort to dirty tactics. 

How refreshing and yet utterly stupid on her part to open up to a man like him 

Parting his lips to reply, he then watched as Asagao quickly downed the two drinks he had given her anyways, causing his eyes to flash with confusion. 

Hold on, she had already figured out his plans to get her drunk and yet she was still going along with that anyways? What a strange girl. He thought she’d just push the glasses away. 

And with no answer to his intrigues, Dazai couldn’t help but speak back. “Then why are you still accepting it?” 

Pushing the glasses down from her lips, he then watched as Asagao paused before answering with a small smile. “Cause if you think I should be drunk for this conversion then I figured I should take you up on that offer.” 

She still wasn’t looking at him though, and Dazai concluded it was because she still felt uncomfortable because he hadn’t given her glasses back yet. It’s not like he minded though. She was really cute when she hid her face like that, all shy and meek. 

So instead, the boy didn’t speak about it, watching her call for another round of drinks before Dazai started his interrogation now that there was a rosy pink color to her cheeks. “Ango called you a hellhound. ” 

Almost immediately, Asa laughed under her breath before swirling the drink between her fingers. “Ah, so that’s what it is. You were right to order those drinks.” 

Dazai then watched as the girl threw back another shot before speaking distantly, like she was wrapping herself in some sort of memory. “The Hellhounds are an elite level of assassins, brought up from birth to be the perfect tools to those that hold their leash. Oda and I were orphans that were brought up into the same faction but because of my different way I saw the world,I was chosen as a candidate to be a hellhound.” 

Smiling bitterly, Asa then lifted a finger up to her throat before ghosting across the skin. “By age five I knew how to run a knife across someone's throat and put a bullet in their brain without them knowing. My ability allowed quick, precise and clean kills. You could say I was a bit of a prodigy, just like you are.” 

She then pushed, her face falling with unpleasant memories. “But the training..was intense...”

And as Dazai listened to her explanation things started to make sense. He didn’t know much about Odasaku before he joined the port mafia. He knew he was a freelance assassin but that’s about it. It made sense that he got those skills from somewhere. 

But try as he may, he couldn’t see sweet little Asagao as a bloodthirsty prodigy like he was. Sure, she had fought him before but the girl never seemed to intend to kill. 

Unless she was holding back on him this entire time.

 Ah, what a sneaky little princess. So hypocritical to tease him about playing around with her when she was clearly doing the same thing. She threw that gun away on purpose and limited her ability use during their fight to make it seem like he had the advantage. 

Now he wanted to fight her for real to see just how scary she could really be. 

Turning his head in curiosity, Dazai then pointed his finger towards her distant expression. “Is that how those pretty little eyes of yours became so hollow and empty?” 

He then watched as she clutched the empty glass between her fingers before the mafioso silently slid the rest of his drink over to her only for Asa to accept it gratefully. 

Damn, the answer to that question must’ve really been traumatic given that she needed more alcohol in response. 

And though most men would’ve changed the subject, Dazai only let her compose herself, silently watching as she closed her eyes before replying. “They made me see the darkest part of the world, they waterboarded me, disoriented me and then forced me to analyze every single depravity that the human mind could conjure up. It wasn’t for the weak of heart and… it broke something in me permanently...” 

Then before she could process it, memories and past feelings couldn’t help but creep up her spine. They were blurry and out of order but Asa got enough to know that her time as a hellhound wasn’t the most pleasant. 

Even now, she could feel the sharp cold chill of the icy tub as her ears drowned out any semblance of noise only to be assaulted with fingers on her face in order to scream at her to analyze the situation before her. She felt the blinding feeling of pepper spray in her eyes and blows to her head as she tried to answer the prompts that her captives had given her. 

She even felt the lingering sensation of cloth around her eyes as they plunged her into pitch black darkness for months on end only to blind her with bright lights and disorient her further. 

Her spine then began to shiver before forcing her eyes back open in order to blankly stare at the amber colored liquid in front of her. “I can’t turn it off anymore, I can’t help but see every fucked up corner of people’s intentions. My eyes catch every spec of darkness, every disappointment. So much so that it hurt to see, still does. I hate it, this thing they made me into..”

And that was the thing she hated more than anything. It wasn’t that those people had molded her into a robotic mold of their perception. It wasn’t that they essentially tortured her into their own design. 

It was the fact that she was now permanently damaged, doomed to live the rest of her life in a sacred manner. She couldn’t look at the world anymore without seeing the bad. She couldn’t escape the sharp headaches and nauseous feelings in her chest just by wishing she was any semblance of normal. 

Some days she even thought about ripping her own eyes out of her sockets, to perfectly gouge them out and blind herself so that she didn’t have to perceive anything ever again. 

Forcing herself to carry on, Asagao finished robotically. “But one day my body couldn’t keep up. They left me to die because I was no longer sufficient and Oda found me. Then he faked my death, hid me away, gave me my glasses so I didn’t have to see anymore and became an assassin in my place.” 

At that, Dazai felt his fingers slip into his pockets before feeling the metal of her glasses in order to pull out the object and place them on the table. 

He had taken them for her benefit but now that the boy knew the full story of such insignificant objects, it didn’t seem right to withhold them anymore from her. 

Sure, Asa had vaguely told him about the reasons for her glasses but now that the details were all laid out, Dazai couldn’t help but look at her with a new light. 

These lenses weren’t just a preference, they were a necessity to her. 

She needed them just like Dazai needed his bandages, and that was something the fifteen year old boy could understand quite well.

 It seemed like they had more in common than he originally thought. 

The girl accepted the glasses immediately, her fingers wrapping around the objects before placing the safe guard around her eyes before smiling softly in return. “And now, I’m free, my big brother gave me freedom.”

Freedom? The term was incomprehensible for the young boy. What did that feel like, to be free? To not be tied down by the darkness of the past? He didn’t know. 

Just then, Dazai’s mind filled with that same twisted mindset he had come to know. What a stupid girl, she was talking about freedom when she was sitting next to one of the most dangerous men in Yokohama. 

She had just dangled her skills and past resume in front of his face so carelessly.

Swirling his finger around the rim of his drink, the mafioso threatened back. “Shouldn’t you be a little more cautious about telling me all of this so easily? I am the demon prodigy after all. I could force you back into that life..”

And he could. If he really wanted to, Dazai knew he could pull her into the port mafia and use her talents for his own selfish desires. She had to have known that. 

But then why was she just spilling such dangerous secrets so easily? 

Asagao only hummed though, his threat leaving her unshaken. “Hypothetically yes, and I’m sure you’ve thought about it at least once or twice. I’m a tempting offer after all. Any executive would jump at the chance to use me..”

Then he watched as Asa narrowed her eyes for a moment before adding lightly. “But unlike what Ango believes, I know you won’t actually do it.”

Wouldn’t actually do it? Now that was a bold statement. He wondered what proof she had for that. “And why is that, love?” 

Although that’s when Oda’s sister turned her body towards him for the first time since their conversation in order to speak with a victorious tease. “Cause it’s not what Oda would’ve wanted.” 

At that, Dazai felt his lips curve into a bitter smile. Ah, she was right. She knew that Odasaku’s blood in her veins was keeping her safe. It was almost like she was rubbing that little detail in his face. Low blow.

For as dark and twisted as his mind was, Dazai knew that Odasaku had spent years trying to keep his little sister safe. Sure, having her in the port mafia would be a great benefit, but it would also ruin everything his best friend had ever worked for. 

And that was something Dazai couldn’t do, no matter how evil he claimed to be. 

Feeling himself laugh under his breath at her correct assumption, the boy then turned his head, playing devil's advocate just for the hell of it. “And let’s just say I didn’t care about that. What would you do then?”

Asagao then paused, thinking about his question before answering back with confidence. “Then I would let you drag me into the port mafia. But the only orders that I'd ever answer and respect would be yours.”

Dazai was certainly taken back by that. Was she serious? He knew her dedication to him was rather irrational but would she seriously put herself back in the darkness for his sake? Would she really disobey her big brother's last request that easily? 

Trying out to laugh off her foolish joke, the boy pushed his hand under his chin before teasing sensually. “I’m flattered, love. So you would be my loyal subordinate then?” 

But there was no hesitation or humor in her response. Only straight laced honesty. “Yeah, cause I need you by my side in order to see my big brother. Subordinate, girlfriend, they are just titles. An excuse, a way to keep each other around. In the end it doesn't matter what I’m called as long as I have you in my life.” 

And try as he may, Dazai couldn’t help the bitter, unpleasant taste that built up in his throat. No, she wasn’t serious. There was no way. Her admiration, her desperation to find her brother, would she really have gone that far just for Oda’s sake? 

He hated it, he hated the very little self respect she displayed, knowing that Odasaku would’ve also been horrified by what she was saying. She didn’t need Dazai in her life. Hell, her life would’ve been so much better without even knowing him. 

And he knew that their titles of boyfriend and girlfriend were a sham but he never thought it would go this deep, that she would so desperately grab onto whatever excuse she could find in order to connect the two of them together. 

Because of that, Dazai felt his mind run wild with possibilities.

In another reality, if that actually happened, if he had dragged Asagao back then did that also mean that Oda’s sister would’ve killed for him? Would she have snapped back to her old ways just in order to please him, to give him a reason to keep her around? 

Didn’t she know how dangerous that was? 

How could she possibly give a demon like him that much power to abuse?

Stretching her arms up in the air, Asagao then gave a goofy smile before beaming towards the boy all at once. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter what we call ourselves. In any universe or reality it would still be the same. You’re not getting rid of me anytime soon, Osu!” 

She said that so proudly, so confidently that Dazai couldn’t help but allow his eyes to fall back on his drink. How could she be so passionate about him? He was a mess in every possible way. No one wanted to hang around him, and for good reason. 

Their lives were so similar, both filled with horrors and brutal truths, and yet Asagao always wore a smile while he drowned in the pointlessness of it all. How could she do it? How could she feel so free when he was still chained by his own mind even today. 

Because of that, Dazai felt his own tipsy lips move without permission, whispering into his glass with a sadness he rarely let free. “After seeing all that evil, how can you not want to die like me?” 

And then he waited for her response, his shoulders tense and anxious from the sudden spilled murmur before Asagao lifted her head up in silent thought. “Mmm I don’t know. By all aspects that should be the case, right? But I’ve never felt that way, not once..” 

Then her lips formed a lighthearted smile in return. “I guess it’s because I’m waiting for life to pleasantly surprise me. Just like you do, Samu.” 

At that, Dazai lifted his head up in confusion. “How have I surprised you?”

Pushing her hands across the bar in explanation, Asa then replied lightly. “Well, you showed me this place to make me feel better, right? Even though I’m sure it brought back unpleasant memories, you still took me here for my sake..”

And Asagao knew that Dazai could act all he wanted but he had shown his true colors tonight. Sure, he may have used an underhanded tactic to bring her here but he had knowingly done the one thing she needed more than anything else. 

Dazai though, didn’t feel the same way, knowing this date wasn’t as pure as she was making it out to be. The only reason he brought her here was to shift her devotion and admiration to something else, something more permanent than a dead man walking.

Pushing his hand up to his lips, the boy frowned under the skin. “Did it ever cross your mind that my reasons were selfish?”

And for a moment he thought she’d be disappointed, that she’d yell at him or cry once she realized the fabrication he had set up to make himself feel better. 

Although that's when he watched the girl turn to him, her hand to her heart in absolute passion. “So what? Selfish and selfless, those are just small details. The results are the same. Doesn’t change the fact that you gave me such a precious gift..”

Lifting her hand to rest against her head, Asagao then gave the stunned boy a toothy smile of glee before adding wistfully. “But then again, nothing could ever be as precious as you, Dazai Osamu.” 

And with those words, Dazai’s eyes widened in order to find himself slipping back into the very same malfunction that had plagued him just a couple hours ago. 

Precious? 

Him? There was no way. He was just a pathetically depressed kid. He wasn’t anyone, especially anyone precious. She was the precious one, she was Odasaku’s beloved sister and he was..well..he was nothing of value..

So much so, the boy tried to wipe the compliment away, not knowing how to take it. “You’re drunk, love.” 

He then watched as Asagao’s lips turned into an adorable little pout in order to whine back to him through her rosy pink cheeks. “Whaaa, am not! I was being serious! I really do think you’re precious to me, even if you don’t feel the same. And anyways, It takes a lot more than..one..two..three..a bit of booze to knock me down!” 

Dazai then watched as the red haired girl looked down at her fingers before failing to count the number of drinks she had ingested only for the boy to snicker under his breath. 

Oh yeah, she was definitely drunk. 

So much so, the boy lifted his hand up before patting the top of her head like a little puppy in order to break her concentration. “Careful, sweetheart. You’re gonna burst a blood vessel if you think that hard.” 

Seemingly jumping back to life, Asa then lifted her finger in the air. “The point is..!” 

Her eyes then began to daze in order to slowly drop her head with confusion. “What was the point again..” 

Yet before Dazai could answer, Asagao was back at it, her expression changing back to one of passion in order to lean closer on her stool. “Oh yeah! The point is, why would I wanna die when there are still so many opportunities for the world to be beautiful? I don’t wanna miss one by giving up so soon..” 

Leaning even closer, the girl then gasped as she slid out of the stool completely only for Dazai’s strong bandaged arms to catch her before she hit the ground. 

Asagao didn’t seem to care though, her eyes showing through her glasses in order to lift her finger up and boop his nose with a slight giggle. “And neither should you, love”

Then the girl seemed to gasp in excitement before completely slipping out of his arms in order to turn to the small radio next to the counter. “Ah! I love this song! Turn it up Mr. Bartender!”

Skipping over to the open area, Asagao then began to bounce and dance to the song in child-ish glee only for Dazai’s eyes to travel down to the hands that once held her before balling his fists with a bitter chuckle. 

What was she saying? He shouldn’t give up on life? Foolish girl, he gave up a long time ago. It was too late for those kinds of words. She should’ve known that. 

How dare she put such pointless and toxic thoughts inside his head like that. 

Lifting his head to look up at the carefree girl, the mafioso then watched in stunned silence as she twirled and giggled across the bar without a care in the world. 

She looked so free like this, so unchained and open. He wondered how it felt, to radiate such genuine happiness and to be unequivocally herself. Because Dazai had never felt happy, not in that kind of way. 

He used happiness as a tool, as a mask to further his manipulation. He knew the concept, sure, but actually conceptualizing such a thing? He had realized from a young age that it was impossible for someone as broken like him. 

But Oda’s sister, she seemed to radiate the emotion with her entire soul, she knew the wonder and mystery of it. And Dazai couldn’t help but be jealous of such a fact, knowing he would never experience such a human emotion to the level that she was. 

That’s when his eyes couldn’t help but flash with painstaking realization. 

Oh, he had it wrong this entire time, didn’t he? Dazai had connected the similarities between their backstories, their intelligence, their manipulation and their necessity for his bandages and her glasses. 

But looking at her now, the boy knew they weren’t anything alike. 

In many ways Asagao was like a sun, her light always exuding positivity and hope with every response. She was unreachable, a fragile yet strong flower that was just barely out of reach in every possible way. 

And Dazai, well he was a black hole, unable to find anything of value but the darkness that always consumed every part of his twisted fucked up soul. And while she was unreachable, he was a ghost, flickering in and out of this life, unable to touch anything or anyone. 

They shared so many similarities and yet Asagao still saw the good, she saw the very best the world could offer while Dazai couldn’t even find one beneficial thing around him. 

He almost wished that they didn’t weren’t so alike, simply because then the boy could excuse their lives as plain nativity on her part. 

That’s what he thought all that positive bullshit came from in the first place, thinking that she was just a spoiled and sheltered girl that Odasaku had protected. 

But she wasn’t, she had seen just as much evil and pain as Dazai had. And yet, her responses were so vastly different. She had managed to keep her humanity while the boy had descended into a full blown monster. 

And Dazai would be lying to say he wasn’t both incredibly jealous and yet so genuinely intrigued by her in every way. 

No, that wasn’t the right word. 

He was enamored, he admired her resolve more than anything else. What a beautiful, enthralling sight. It was intoxicating, and enchanting in every way, seeing how she defied the corruption of the universe. 

Although that’s when the bartender interrupted his thoughts, his eyes also gazed towards Asagao in question. “Dazai, who is that woman?” 

Shifting his body to rest his back against the bar, Dazai then smiled to himself before answering honestly. “She’s Odasaku’s sister.” 

The bartender then felt himself freeze before looking at the girl in a whole new light. “I can see it.” 

Lowering his eyes in admiration, Dazai then felt his lips curve a bit wider. Ah, she’d be so happy to hear that. “Me too.” 

And he really did, he saw Odasaku in her so clearly, especially now. It was in her carefree attitude, it was in the sense of unbothered calm she always had when she was around him. If only Asa realized just how much she brought her big brother to life by just merely existing.

Lifting his head to the sky, the boy then closed his eyes in order to speak to his old friend. Oh Odasaku, why did you give me to your sister like this? Don’t you see I’m no good for her? Did you really trust me not to corrupt her?

Yet that’s when he heard another voice enter his mind only to watch a drunken man try to make his way up to Asa only for Dazai to darken his eyes in order to quickly jump off his stool and lift an arm out to the girl in question. 

Asa then felt his bandaged arms wrapped around her waist a second later, pulling her into his chest only for the girl to look up in her drunken daze. “S-Samu?” 

She was then met with his endless brown gaze, staring at her in order to slip his hand into hers with a light chuckle. “Can’t leave my girl hanging, now can I?” 

Feeling his head tilt towards the unwelcome presence, Dazai then pushed her body closer to him before glaring wordless in silent threat for the depravity that lay behind the drunken man's eyes. 

The stranger then stumbled away in order for the mafioso to hum in acceptance before his hands traveled to his “girlfriend’s” hips as she hummed to the music. “Didn’t think the great executive liked to dance.” 

Smiling under his breath, Dazai lowered his head, meeting her eyes. “What can I say, you’ve inspired me.” 

Yet that's when Asagao’s lips turned into a frown before turning away from his gaze with a mutter. “What am I gonna do, Osu? I can’t go home..Ango is gonna say annoying things again..” 

At the mention of Ango, Dazai felt his throat tick with unpleasant memories. Ah, that’s right. Ango was still staking out her place, hoping she’d come back. Well, it wasn’t like she could show up drunk either, then he’d really have a conniption. 

But it also wasn’t as if he could let the clumsy glasses-wearing girl out free in Yokohama. She couldn’t even find where she was going sober, which meant she definitely wasn’t going to be okay like this. 

Which only left one option left. 

Asagao then felt his lips brush against her ear before she heard Dazai’s next words, the meaning causing her entire body to shiver and her eyes to widen all at once. 

“If you really have nowhere to go then how about you come to my place, sweetheart?” 

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x odasaku!sister #oda sakunosuke #bungo stray dogs odasaku #odasaku sakunosuke #dazai x female reader #dazai x reader #bsd writing #bsd #bungou stray dogs #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #fanfiction #archive of our own

[ashleyh713fanfics]

Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch5

Chapter 5: "Suddenly,Dying Doesn't Seem That Easy"

Summary: Ango shows up after telling Dazai to stay away Odasaku's little sister. Little does he know, the mafia executive didn't listen.

Warning: Lots of angst in this one, Odasaku death mentions, typical Dazai suicide mention, feels, Ango being protective mom, manipulative behavior from both sides. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter five of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 7k

Asagao felt her brain malfunction at the sight of her worst fear at the door. 

And the minute she met Ango’s eyes, the girl could clearly see the frustration and anger that resisted in every one of his features. She didn’t need her glasses off to tell that he was pissed by her little “running away” joke three weeks ago. 

In fact, their little interaction had been wiped clean from her mind until this moment, not bothering to think about the consequences of her actions. Well, crap. This wasn’t good. 

She then watched the man open his mouth only for Asa to quickly gasp before shutting the door straight in his face comically in order to quickly turn around and hurry back into the living room where Dazai was waiting. 

Lifting his head in her direction, he frowned when her hands were empty. “Where’s the food, Asa-chan? I’m hungryyy.” 

Asa then ran a nervous hand through her hair before pushing her own glasses up with a rushed reply. “Hey so ummm, hypothetically, on the scale from one to ten, how ruined would our date be if Ango showed up with like..oh I don’t know..fifty government agents…?” 

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but pause, his head turning in question. What was she saying? Ango was here? “That’s oddly specific..”

She then gave an over the top laugh in order to turn towards the kitchen and throw open the nearest window before placing her foot halfway outside with a shaky smile. “Ha ha ha, yeah I guess it is. You know what, never mind.. Everything is good, great even! Now if you don’t mind me, I’m gonna jump out this window real quick for no apparent reason. Okay, bye…” 

Yet just as soon as she finished that sentence, the front door seemingly flew off its hinges in order for a hoard of government officials and the man himself to step inside the doorway without permission. 

And with her foot halfway out the window, Asagao felt herself laugh at the ominous air in order to slip back onto the ground, her arms open with a nervous reply. “A-Ango! Hey buddy, my old pal how you been? We can talk about this, right? No need to be so mad, running away was just a little joke, I swear. You can take a joke right? You’re an understanding guy I’m sure of it.” 

Unlucky for her though, the man was not understanding in the slightest, his steps firm in order to stare down at the foolish fifteen year girl. “Oda Asagao, you better explain yourself right now why you purposely have been leading me on a wild goose chase throughout this whole city to find you.” 

Asa only fake gasped though, placing a hand to her chest in disbelief. “Whaa? I have no idea what you mean, I’m just an innocent little girl. How could I even do that?” 

Deadpanning immediately, the agent then reached into his jacket pocket in order to pull out a stack of candid photos and show her in anger. “So you didn’t pay off over a dozen people with your brother’s money in order for them to dress like you and go to different parts of the city just to show up on security cameras?” 

Three weeks, three weeks Ango had been chasing dead ends only for her to be at Oda’s apartment this whole time. He thought it would’ve been too obvious for her to have returned here but apparently not.

It was almost like she knew that hiding in plain sight was the best way to evade him. What a sneaky little girl. Odasaku never said anything about that.

Shifting her eyes away from the man, Asa then resisted the urge to cockily gloat about her successful red herring plot before leaning forward in a hopeful smile. “So let’s just say, if I did do that..would you be impressed by it?” 

Ango only glared though, causing Asagao’s face to fall before putting two and two together. “Gonna take that as a no..” 

Groaning at her casual tone, the man then stomped over to her in order to point a disappointed finger in her direction. “This ends right now. You’re going to..”

Yet that’s when his eyes couldn’t help but widen at the bandages around her arms and throat, his entire demeanor freezing before melting into pure concern. “Wait, what happened to your neck? Who hurt you?” 

Asagao’s fingers then couldn’t help but touch the area before cursing to herself. She couldn’t tell him that she had been fighting, then she’d never hear the end of it. 

Snapping her head up, Oda’s sister then gave a carefree chuckle before moving her hands around wildly in order to sweet talk her way out of the conversation.  “Ha ha, you know now that you mention it, it’s a great story, a really funny one actually. When you hear it you’re gonna laugh!” 

Ango obviously didn’t believe that though, his lips pushing in with frustration before he roughly reached forward in order to grasp onto her bandaged wrist and pull her towards the agents and him. “Enough of your excuses, we are leaving right now even if I have to drag you all the back.” 

Gasping at the contact, Asa whined back. “H-Hey..wait a second..” 

 No, he couldn’t pull her away like this, she wouldn’t let him. Not after she’d been so close to what she’d been desperately searching for her entire life. 

Yet that’s when she felt someone unlatch the hold as her entire body fell backwards only for a strong pair of arms to wrap around her waist and pull her to his chest protectively. 

Wait, she knew this bandaged hand anywhere.

Osamu.

And when Dazai spoke, it was full of teasing malice, lacing across his tongue with every word as he hugged her closer to him. “Ango, could you not touch my girlfriend so casually?”

The two then watched as the poor government official tried to put his words together, his lips opening with pure disbelief for what he was saying.

He had to have heard that wrong, right? There was no way that’s what he said.  “D-Dazai? What are you doing here…and what do you mean by that..?” 

The boy only smirked though, moving his hand up to Oda’s sister’s shoulders in order to sling his arm over the surface with a carefree manner. “It means exactly what you think it means. This little darling and I have been official for three weeks already.” 

And the look of horror on Ango’s face was a sight to behold indeed. So much so that Dazai couldn’t help but revel in it. He couldn’t help it, after betraying their friendship it felt good to see him so distraught by the idea of him “dating” Asagao. 

Turning towards the devious mafioso, the agent glared at the depravity. “You..I told you to stay away and this is what you do? Is this some sort of punishment for what I did to the port mafia?”

Although he would’ve liked to be true, Dazai knew it wasn’t. Hell, if Asagao hadn’t approached him all those weeks ago then he would’ve kept his promise to stay away. It was her little bet and agreement that got him to stick around. 

Pouting his lips innocently, he then trailed his fingers down to her Asa’s waist before pulling her closer to him. “Aw, don’t look at me like that. Not at all, besides I wasn’t the one that asked. That was all Odasaku’s precious little sister’s doing.” 

Then all at once, Ango’s fury seemed to shift, his glare moving to the girl in question. “A-Asagao, what is the meaning of this, is he telling the truth?” 

The girl didn’t stutter though, she didn’t make up some kind of excuse, her body still as she allowed Dazai to possessively claim her. “Yeah, I asked him to be my boyfriend.”

She then watched Ango’s lips fall open with disgust as he ran an anxious hand through his hair before groaning. “This is worse than I thought..what were you thinking Asagao? Dazai is the worst person for you to be around. He is a bad influence, you should know that better than anyone.” 

Asa only scoffed though, rolling her eyes in the process. “Okay mom..” 

Who did he think he was, her brother? This guy may have been Oda’s best friend but she didn’t owe anything to him. He didn’t even know why she was doing all this. 

But to Ango, the man only saw an unruly fifteen year old girl, disobeying and acting out with an attitude that made him unexplainably furious. No, this needed to end now. He needed to make her see that Dazai Osamu was the worst possible option for her. 

Feeling his voice raise, the agent then turned towards the silent mafioso before lifting his hands out in exasperation. “I’m being serious! He’s incapable of caring, he’s just using you and you are letting him.” 

Ango knew Dazai insanely well after all. He had drank with him and heard all of his fucked up stories and viewpoints. The guy was a monster, a demon and though it fit in the port mafia setting perfectly, here it was not warranted. 

But the problem was, he couldn’t turn it off. He knew the boy couldn’t. He manipulated everything and everyone in his entire life. He wasn’t the kind boyfriend that he was probably pretending to be for her. She had to see that. 

Narrowing her eyes at his words, Asagao replied shortly. “Okay, and?” 

Ango couldn’t help but freeze at that. Why did it sound like she already knew about his intentions? What did she mean by that? Did she not care that Dazai was using her for his own selfish whims? He thought she had more self respect than that. 

Feeling himself unravel ever so slowly, the agent shouted back in disbelief. “A-And?! Are you even hearing yourself? It's one thing to come to Yokohama uninvited but now you’ve gone so far off the deep end.”

He was speaking like this was the end of the world, like her dating Dazai was armageddon and Asa found it annoying. “You’re overreacting, Ango. It’s really not that serious.”

The bandaged executive then chuckled to himself, before enjoying the pure fury in his eyes as he brushed his fingers up and down Asagao’s side with a hum. “Yeah Ango, lighten up.” 

Glaring at the two kids, the man’s eyes then flashed towards Dazai’s fingers before looking back towards the mysterious bandages he had spotted before.  

And when he spoke, it was dark and accusatory. “Then tell me what happened to your neck.”

All at once, Asagao felt her eyes widen as Dazai’s hand couldn’t help but pause as well, his fingers turning stationary as memories of the night played in each of their minds. He could still feel his fingers on her throat, whether he wanted to or not. 

Placing a nervous hand to her injury, Asa stuttered back. “Uhh well…that is..” 

Ango cut her off immediately, seemingly already knowing the truth. “Dazai, did you do it?” 

He then turned towards his old friend only for him to visibly allow his hand to fall from Asa’s side in visible guilt. What could he even say to that? He had put those marks there, and for once Dazai wasn’t proud of it. 

Although that’s when Asagao frowned in order to place a protective hand over his body, her fingers carefully keeping a distance so he didn’t tense up. “Hey, stop assuming things. It’s not Osu’s fault..I was the one that asked him to fight!” 

Dazai couldn’t help but stare in disbelief at that, his throat twisting uncomfortably in reply. She was defending him. Why? He didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve her kindness. 

Yet that’s when Asagao watched Ango’s face fall, knowing she had fucked up. “..Did you just say fight? 

Already feeling the nagging coming, the girl then slapped her hand over her face before groaning. This is what she was trying to avoid. “Oh boy..here we go…”

It was too late to stop the oncoming storm though, the agent bursting at the seams for what he was hearing. “You fought with Dazai? You can’t be serious. Do you know what he could’ve done to you?!”

Dazai couldn’t help but chuckle at the accusation though, knowing that he was underestimating Oda’s sister exponentially. If only his old friend saw the sadistic look she gave him just hours ago. Then he wouldn’t be saying that. 

No, even the mafia executive knew they were pretty evenly matched. “Actually Ango, Asa-chan here is a very talented lady. She got a few hits on me as well.”

Although that’s when he watched Asagao pause before shifting her eyes over to him only for a gentle grateful smile to cross her lips at the compliment. 

Huh, she must’ve not been given her credit very often for her to have reacted like that. 

Ango didn’t seem to share in the moment though, the man replying sharply. “I know she is, I saw her file before Oda asked me to erase it. That’s not the problem.”

Dazai felt his curiosity spike at that. Wait, Odasaku asked Ango to erase his little sister’s file? But he would’ve only done that if she had a list of crimes he wanted to disappear. But then that begged the question, what kinds of illegal things was Asa a part of as a child? 

Asagao seemed to know immediately though, her shoulders turning tense as the agent continued roughly. “I know what you did as a child, Asagao. And now you're fighting again? Don’t you realize how bad that is? If you keep this up then you will..”

The girl’s eyes then flashed with realization before her lips curled into a lethal smile. “Oh, I get it. You’re afraid I’m gonna turn dark like Osu by hanging out with him. You’re scared of me and of what I can do. That’s why you brought in all these government idiots. What? Afraid I’m gonna snap? That I’m gonna join the port mafia? You’ve gotta be kidding me..” 

And from the look on his face, she guessed completely right, the agent shaking his head in order to shout back with desperation. “I’m trying to help you, I’m trying to keep from being manipulated and turning back into a hellhound pet !” 

The air turned silent then as Dazai tried to decipher the meaning. It was obvious that Asagao was professionally trained as an assassin from their fight, so much so that it seemed like her unhinged expressions were a part of that. 

He had compared her to a crazed dog before so Ango calling her a “hellhound” wasn’t that far off. Was his theory correct? Did people seek after her for her talent? Did they also want her chained down and owned like he had briefly thought for a moment? 

No wonder why Odasaku sent her away and kept her a secret. 

Asagao didn’t react though, her eyes simply closing at the silence before she smiled back in a way that Dazai knew wasn’t completely authentic. “Yeah? Well, I didn’t ask for your help. So thanks but no thanks.” 

The girl then turned around in order to escape further into the apartment only for Ango to call after her. “You know, Oda would be so disappointed in you for what you’re doing.” 

Pausing for a moment, Asa then turned her head before snapping her eyes back to his. “No, Ango. I don’t know that. Thanks for the insight though.” 

She then turned back only for Dazai to sense a change within her. Yes, on the outside she seemed calm but the boy could see the timer in each of her steps, like a bomb waiting to explode. 

Ango kept pushing through, following after her as the various agents stood in silent wait. “Can’t you take anything seriously? Odasaku wouldn’t want this.” 

Asagao only lifted her hand up, dismissing him completely. “Good to know..” 

The man was furious though, not letting her escape. How dare she just walk away when Odasaku spent his entire life making sure she had a better one than him. “You know, by doing this you are disobeying his wishes and dishonoring everything he’s ever done..” 

She then paused again, her lips turning up into another forced smile before pushing the thought away completely. “And you know what, we are not having this conversation..”

Dazai could tell though, he could tell that she was unraveling. She wore a smile, sure. But he had analyzed her for three weeks straight. He knew her better than she probably knew herself. And right now, Asagao was falling from that positive mask by the second. 

If Ango pushed anymore, she’d surely snap. 

And push he did, the agent only seeing disrespect in order for him to shout the worst sentence of all. “We will have this conversation until you understand that what you’re doing is disgraceful! You are making everything he did, every single sacrifice worthless. Do you even know what he had to do for you?!”

Just then, every single unpleasant and tortuous memory crashed into her mind in order to feel that same sickening reality that she had been trying to ignore this entire night. 

He died because he took your place.

It’s your fault. 

Gritting her teeth, Asagao’s smile then fell for a millisecond before she turned back to Ango with so much frustrated pain that it shook the entire room. “Of course I know!” 

The two boys then watched as Oda’s sister chuckled to herself in order to run a frazzled hand through her hair, the girl’s smile shaking and snapping back into place, almost like she needed it to be there. “Fuck, Ango seriously? Why do you have to bring up shit I’m trying to forget. I spent all night trying to not think about it and you just had to ruin it.” 

Shaking her head, Asa then added with defeat. “Of course I know that Oda sacrificed his entire life for me and I can’t even have the decency to remember his goddamn face.”

She then took in a shaky breath before pushing her arms around herself in order to hold her own misery together. “You think I asked for him to save me, you think I wanted to live my life with the guilt that he was suffering instead? He wouldn’t even tell me what was happening in his letters, he never let me in, not once...”

Her words came out so bitterly, so spiteful, like she blamed her brother for his inability to never let her share in his world. “His work, his life, everything I wanted to know about he kept secret. The only thing he talked about was Dazai, a complete stranger that I had never met before. Do you know how frustrating that is? Do you know how that feels? To not know your own family and yet know everything about a boy who doesn't even know you exist?” 

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but widen his eyes. She just called him by his last name. That was the first time she had ever done that. It sounded so distant, so strange. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like being so far away from her comprehension. 

But he supposed that’s why she said it. He didn’t know her until recently, she was a stranger to him until she showed up at Oda’s apartment. She must have felt betrayed, having only heard about him and not the family she so desperately wanted to be close to. 

Why, why did Odasaku only speak about him? Why was Dazai the only person that Odasaku had let be a part of her life? He didn’t know and he feared he would never find the answer. 

Ango only looked stunned though, causing Asagao to scoff before pointing an accusatory finger in his direction. “Of course you don’t, because you had the luxury of actually knowing him. You knew him so well and I still don’t even know if he ever resented me..”

Her voice then fell off then, realizing the weight of her words only for Ango to lift his hand out with sadness. 

Did she really think that Odasaku hated her? Didn’t she know how much he loved her? “Asa..”

She only slapped the affection away though, her voice bitter. “You know, maybe he did, maybe he always hated me. Maybe he cursed my name for years after having to go through the torture that was designed for me..” 

Placing a hand to her bandaged neck, Asa then frowned in memory. “You may see my actions as reckless decisions but the only things I’ve ever had from him are feelings, fragments of who he was. The nostalgic adrenaline when I fight, the promises of fragile positivity, without that I had nothing, he gave me nothing else to cling to..”

She then paused before turning her sad eyes towards the brown haired boy across from her before speaking softly. “Expect Osamu. He gave me Osamu, and I damn well am not about to let him go just because you say so. Even if his only reason to stay is to use me and throw me away, it doesn’t matter. He can do as he pleases..” 

Placing her hand gently to her chest, she then began to smile again, except this time it seemed a tiny bit more genuine than before. “Because he gives me stories, memories that are so cruel and yet so beautiful, just out of reach from what I can comprehend. But I try my best to because anything is better than those broken fragments I was forced to cling to for my entire life..”

And Asagao believed that with her whole entire heart. She was using Osamu to find her brother, that much was already established but just having him stand by her side brought a sense of calm she didn’t know she could feel until three weeks ago. 

Just his very presence was enough to make the loneliness in her heart dissipate. He didn’t even have to do anything, he didn’t even have to be kind to her or look at her other than a stranger. As long as he stayed by her side for a little while, then she would be alright. 

 She would never receive another letter from Oda now that he was dead, which meant that Osamu was the last remaining thing she had to him. 

So much so that she was dependent on him. Not by his actions or words but rather by knowledge that he existed, that he wasn’t just some sort of fantasy Oda constructed in his mind. He was tangible and real, and that meant everything to her. 

He meant everything to her. 

Dazai on the other hand couldn’t help but be stunned by the admiration she spoke so openly. Sure, she wasn’t attached to him as a person, that was certain. 

It was more of the concept of him that made her so grateful. She was just happy to have something constant and nostalgic in her life. 

Hell, if Odasaku had mentioned Ango instead of him in those letters then he was sure Asagao would’ve been clinging to the agent instead. 

But it was the fact that it was him , the fact that out of everyone in the entire world she had put so much devoted feeling into a broken sad suicidal boy like him was unbelievable. 

He didn’t deserve that kind of praise or honor. Anyone would've been a better companion when she was a child. 

How ironic. All throughout his entire life Dazai felt alone, he always felt suffocatingly insignificant, like nothing would ever change if he disappeared one day.

But it seemed like that wasn’t true. Because somewhere across the world there was a girl that depended on his pathetic little life like a vice. 

She didn’t care what he said or did. No. Asagao only cared that he was alive, that he stayed alive and woke up the next morning. It was an insignificant yet hard thing for Dazai to grasp, the realization that he did matter to someone this entire time. 

The feeling was overwhelming, so much so that the boy didn’t know how to take it. 

And though it didn’t change his desire to leave this world painlessly, he now knew the truth. 

Suddenly dying didn’t seem so easy anymore. 

Giving a heavy sigh, Asagao then dropped her hand before turning her gaze back towards the stunned agent. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, Ango. I wouldn’t expect anyone to understand…”

She then sucked in another shaky breath before lifting her hands out in sad defeat. “I know you two would’ve liked it better if he was the one alive right now instead of me but I can’t do a damn thing about it, okay? I’m sorry life didn’t work out the way any of us wanted..”

Closing her eyes in pain, Asa then whispered brokenly. “..I’m sorry I survived and he didn’t.”

It was a reality she didn’t want to face and yet it was so hard to ignore all the same. She wasn’t Odasaku, she was just a discount dollar store version of what both of them wanted. She as a person didn’t matter and the only reason either of them cared was because her big brother's blood ran in her veins. 

Oh, how disappointed they must have been to be stuck with her instead. 

Then before either of them could blink, she disappeared from their sights before they heard the front door slam as the government agents pulled out their weapons and tense. “Sir..”

Ango only put a hand up though, his voice barely above a whisper. “Let her go.”

The agent’s then relaxed only for Dazai to see his old friend’s shoulders sag with a broken mutter in order to speak out to an invisible force. “Odasaku, what do I do now?” 

Closing his eyes at the sound of Oda's name, the mafia executive then sighed before looking towards the front door silently. It seemed like neither of them knew what to say now. 

And Ango was at an absolute loss. He was never good with kids and Asagao was no different. He pushed too hard and assumed so many things and it only drove her away. He just wanted to protect her like his best friend did, he wanted to take over that role. Was that so bad? To carry on Odasaku’s legacy?

Although that’s when the man watched as Dazai simply shoved his hands in his pockets before moving back towards the living room only for the agent to frown at his disregard for the situation. “Dazai, where are you going?” 

The boy only narrowed his eyes though, his voice distant. “Work.” 

Scoffing at his vague tone, Ango then turned towards the kid with disdain. It was just as expected, Dazai didn’t care about any of this. He didn’t care that Asagao was falling apart or that she had just confessed that he had always been her lifeline. 

He was just as cruel and inhuman as he remembered. 

The agent then balled his fists before speaking out towards the seemingly detached boy. “Do you know where she could be going?”

At that, the boy then paused before turning back to Ango in order to shrug his shoulders absentmindedly, his eyes holding something other than just truth.  

“Who knows.”

-----

To say that Dazai went back to the port mafia was a flat out lie, one that he couldn’t show in front of Ango. Maybe on any other day he could’ve dismissed what had happened tonight but for some reason the fifteen year old kid felt his feet move towards somewhere else entirely. 

 The truth was, the boy knew exactly where Oda’s sister was the moment she left. He could read her after all. In fact, it was fairly obvious to anyone that had been paying attention. 

But his reasons for lying to his old friend stemmed from the uncertainty of Ango taking her away from him. He was selfish after all, and though it was better for her to go, Dazai felt himself cling on even so. 

Pausing in order to look out towards the familiar rooftop view of Yokohama, he found the spot where Asagao and him had spoken three weeks ago before shoving his hands into his pockets with a sigh. 

He could almost picture her foolish goofy face as she placed that bet for him to be her boyfriend. Back then he agreed as a joke and yet here he was, still occupying the title, even if it was just in name only. 

Gazing around the area, the bandaged boy then found what he was looking for, her small frame curled up by her knees in order to sadly gaze at the sunrise with that same distant look in her eye. 

The one that showed when she wasn’t allowing herself to truly view the world.

And as he approached, it was obvious to tell that she had sensed him appear. Yet even so she still didn’t make a sound, simply staring ahead as her fingers squeezed her knees once more.

He didn’t say a word to her, only moving to her spot before Dazai slumped his body down so that his back was resting against his, his face unseen by the girl in question. 

From this distance, the two couldn’t analyze anything about each other, and that’s exactly what Dazai wanted. For you see, he didn’t know how to comfort someone, he didn’t even know how to show the tiniest bit of sympathy. 

The mafia had taught him to control, manipulate and exploit. They showed him the most effective way to skin someone alive and make them cry of forgiveness only to give no mercy. 

But the one thing they didn’t teach him how to be is human. 

Yet that’s when Odasaku’s voice rang through his mind once more, causing the boy to close his eyes in defeat.  

Be a good man. 

And then, he tried, speaking out into the air.  “He didn’t resent you.” 

Asagao didn’t move though, allowing Dazai to continue as he thought about the soft smile he had seen time and time again. “Odasaku wasn’t that kind of man. He was kind, selfless, and even if you asked him not to save you he would’ve done it anyways.” 

He then paused before absentmindedly shaking his head in response. This wouldn’t work. It didn’t matter what he felt about the man, she needed proof, she needed facts to believe that what he was saying was true. 

Pushing his lips together in silent thought, the boy then smiled to himself, knowing exactly what to say. 

She wanted to know about her brother's life, and he could give her that. “He took care of orphans in his free time and I always wondered why he wanted to waste his time with such sniveling brats. But now I can see why..” 

Dazai then titled his head up before finishing softly. “They reminded him of you.” 

It was obvious now, more so than ever before. Odasaku housed those brats because he was trying to fill some kind of hole. 

Back when he was alive, Dazai never understood what caused him to start doing it, but now that Asagao was here it seemed like all the pieces had finally clicked into place. 

Feeling himself grow nostalgic at his own words, he continued. “Me too, I think I reminded him of you also. That’s why he helped me, why he liked talking to me. He probably saw it as an extension of you in some way. Both those orphans and I, he took us in to feel closer to you..”

And that was always his greatest mystery, how Odasaku was able to handle such a destructive and detached child like Dazai. The boy always found it strange how he never ran away or looked disgusted by his actions. He always just gave him that same placid calm look, the one that made him feel just a little bit more normal then he actually was. 

Perhaps that was because whenever the man looked at Dazai, he saw his sister in some kind of twisted way. He wished Oda told him that, cause now the kid had to go on never knowing if that was the truth. 

Feeling his lips curve up into a sad smile, he then chuckled to himself. “And you know, it probably killed him not to talk about you, to brag about his cute little sister. Ango told me that he couldn’t help himself when he was drunk. That means that you were on his mind one way or another.” 

He understood why he did it, why his friend kept her a secret for his entire life. It was the most logical way to keep her safe. He didn’t tell her about himself or his life because he was most likely afraid that Asagao would’ve followed after him. Then Oda would’ve had to live with the guilt of her being used and caged again. 

And Dazai couldn’t blame him for it, he couldn’t resent him for such a thing. Although, it was obvious that the man probably didn’t know the consequences of his actions. That by pushing her away he had inadvertently damaged her in a way that couldn’t be changed. 

Now his own sister was left to pick up the pieces that he had left behind, unable to ever find any definitive proof that he ever loved her. 

But Dazai knew better, he knew his old friend better then she ever could. Which meant that the only one that could put her mind at ease was him. “But I knew him, and that man was incapable of hate, so I know he didn’t hate you..” 

He then felt Asa lift her head from her knees, her voice shaky and uncertain. “Why are you saying this? You have no obligation to. This wasn’t a part of our deal.” 

No, it wasn’t, but even still the boy continued to speak, unsure why he was doing so in the first place. “I don’t know, I just know he wouldn’t have wanted you to think like this. He wouldn’t have wanted to see you sad, to think he didn’t care about you..”

Because he did, he knew he did. Odasaku had to have loved his little sister. 

He wouldn’t have done all of this work if he didn’t. He wouldn’t have written her letters or wiped her existence from the mafia or withheld anything to do with her if he didn’t care. Dazai truly believed that, and he wanted her to believe it also. 

Reaching into his black suit pocket, the boy then pulled out his most precious possession before placing it on the grassy ground in order to slide it over for her to see. 

He then watched Asagao slowly pick up the black at white photograph before gasping quietly at the sight. 

It was a picture of her brother. 

And not only that, it was a picture of both Dazai and Ango as well, all of them standing side by side with drinks in their hands as they looked towards the camera with expressionless confusion, like the badged boy had forced them into the position for fun. 

And almost immediately, Asagao felt her eyes water, placing a finger gently towards her ever stoic brother with a shaky smile. So that’s what he looked like. He had grown taller than the last time she saw him. 

But even so, the girl tried to hold in her tears, not wanting to shed such an unpleasant emotion and fail her brother’s last wish. “Just like when I was a kid..you still manage to bring me closer to him..”

At that, Dazai couldn’t help but frown, his chest filling with an unpleasant reminder of the type of faith she had in him. He didn’t deserve it, he wasn’t dependable like that. 

Pushing his lips together in conflict, he spoke again, allowing the uncertainty to fill the air. “Odasaku should've picked someone else to talk about in those letters..”

It was a simple fact. Odasaku put so much time and effort into describing Dazai’s life only for him to plan to end it all as quickly as possible. He was a fragile promise, something that could not be trusted to stay in this fucked up world. 

Yet that’s when he heard her voice, far too sweet and kind. “I’m glad it was you.” 

The boy then felt himself crumble at that, recalling the promise that Oda had given him. How could she say that? Didn’t she know he was a failure? That he was dishonoring his best friend in the worst possible way?

And because his back was turned, Dazai spoke the truth, knowing that she couldn’t see his pathetically weak face from where they were sitting. “But I don’t even know what it means to be a good man..” 

She answered then, her head turning up to rest on his shoulder as Dazai couldn’t help but tense at the touch. “Do you want to be?” 

Looking away from the girl, Dazai then recalled the lingering feeling of his fingers on her throat before shaking his head sadly.  

Of course he wanted to be. He wanted to make Odasaku proud, to have his death mean something. But that was easier said than done. 

Perhaps he should just stop trying altogether. It would make things much easier if it was only going to end in failure anyways.  “It doesn’t matter, it’s impossible for someone evil like me.”

The air was silent then as Dazai waited for her to agree with him, to condemn him like he deserved for putting his hands on her, for disappointing her, for being unable to keep her brother's promise. 

 Yet that’s when she replied, the very words causing his dark thoughts to dissipate. “If there can be a possibility of evil then why can’t there be a possibility of good?” 

At that, Dazai felt his eyes fall to his hands. How could she say that? Demons couldn’t be cleansed into angels, he said that before. Yes there was a possibility but it was slim, so incredibly slim. 

Shaking his head, he responded automatically, already knowing the truth. “Because I’m…”

A demon, a monster, a killer, a liar, a controller, a manipulator, an exploiter, inhuman, incapable, deflective. There were so many ways to end that sentence and yet Dazai didn’t have the heart to use any of them. 

Although that’s when Asagao finished his sentence. ”You’re Osamu, my boyfriend.” 

Feeling himself pause, he then heard her smile through her words, looking up at the sunrise with knowing thought. “Maybe you just need someone to believe in the things you can’t see just yet..” 

The things he couldn’t see yet? What was that supposed to mean? Was she suggesting that he needed someone to believe that he could be good? But no one would believe that, no sane person anyways. 

So much so, Dazai smirked at the idea, knowing it was a fool's dream. “And what kinds of things are that, love?”

Yet that’s when he felt the pressure on his shoulder get heavy in order to hear the soft intake of breath from Asagao only for him to snort in reply. What an idiot, falling asleep on him so shamelessly. 

Well, they did keep each other all night after all. 

Debating moving so that she would wake up, Dazai then froze as Asagao’s sleepy voice coursed through his ears, causing his heart to strain without permission.

“Osamu..I think you’re a good man.”

Widening his eyes at her words, the boy then sharply turned only to find her completely passed out, like she had said them in her dream filled decision. 

But even so, Dazai heard every word. 

And though the boy was incapable of a lot of things, he wasn’t incapable of the overwhelming feeling of emotion that coursed through every single vein and muscle without permission. 

She believed in him, she believed that he could be a good man. 

Even when no one else believed, even when he himself couldn’t believe, she did.

It was a foolish statement, she was foolish for saying it but even so Dazai couldn’t help but lift his head up in reply, staring towards the blinding sunrise before shifting his gaze towards Asagao. 

How dare she encourage him, how dare she give him the very thing he wanted to hear since Oda’s death. How dare she say such a foolish thing so casually. 

And how dare she make him feel this way, so human.

So fragile. 

#bsd dark era #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu #fanfic #bsd odasaku #dazai x fem reader #dazai x y/n #dazai x you #dazai x reader #dazai x female reader #dazai x odasaku!sister #oda sakunosuke #dazai #bungo stray dogs odasaku #odasaku sakunosuke