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many-but-one · 2 years

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hi system question!! it’s like the different names I have feel like completely different people and I suddenly feel like “well I’m (name) now I should go by name bc now I’m him again I am name” like. one name has its own personality, body/features, species, aesthetic, likes, pronouns, etc. and the other is very different in those ways. so Ive called these alters bc well they seem to be different people when u look at them. and different people use different names. and it’s not rlly me using the names just for fun as names but bc they feel like people and those are their names. but idk how to be sure that I’m not just forcing myself to be them or making up ocs/personas/etc. as far as I’m aware singlets don’t have this kind of situation with names unless they are purposefully forcing another persona for some reason like as a thing online or with a new person they meet .. but isn’t that what alters and switching Feels like… feeling like another person who uses another name?…if not then what bc when u feel like different people and each people use different names then ? plus when u also have trauma and dissociation and possible amnesia if amnesia counts as your memories feeling faded/void and not remembering lasts weeks/months and feeling like earlier in the day is far away and didn’t happen.. yet not recalling switching during those times where u don’t remember . is this what alters feel like?

Hello anon! This is Jules!

I first want to preface that I am not a professional so I am not going to definitively say "Yes! You have alters!" Because I don't know you at all and I am not your therapist. I am going to share my experiences and experiences of other systems I've talked to to try and help you get an idea of what having alters feels like. Just know that DID can be difficult to nail down, and many other disorders can be mistaken for DID, which is why it often takes so long for DID systems to receive a diagnosis. (Many systems spend many years in the psychiatric system being misdiagnosed with stuff that presents similarly to untreated DID.)

For me, Jules, having alters in the beginning (before I knew as many as I know today) felt very strange. I had very little communication, and even though they had always been present, I never really understood that they were there. Because all of the memories I've ever had have included them. (Well, most of them.) For example, I learned that our gatekeeper was co-con with me for a large part of my college career, literally ALL THE TIME. It was during this time I was certain I was a trans man because I felt male all the time and had extreme body dysphoria. Well, James is a cis male and gets body dysphoria because we are AFAB. However, James kept high walls between me and everyone else so I had no idea that they existed. Any voices that leaked out I just assumed was my inner thoughts. Which led to some funny "wait, why would I think that?" moments all throughout my life that I remember very vividly. In my freshman year of college things were absolutely crazy internally because I was starting to catch on that something fishy was happening. Stuff started coming out and I heard voices a lot and sometimes felt like I wasn't myself. Actually, a lot of the time I felt like I wasn't myself. I don't know how to perfectly put it into words, but basically things I enjoyed normally I found boring or I liked foods I normally wouldn't, or I acted very erratic and different from my normal demeanor. My mother says she noticed this and didn't really know what to do. She mentioned (when I told her I had DID a few months ago) that I would sometimes have extreme amnesia for things that she was sure I would know (like what we did yesterday, something big like a party) or just full-on act very aggressive and out of character. She recalled I also talked about how I always felt like I was dreaming and had a hard time distinguishing dreams from reality. She said there were multiple occasions where she would come into my room or a back area of our house and just see me staring off into space. She would try to get my attention and I would respond, but very distantly, like I wasn't really hearing her. I have no memory of these events. I told her that I was likely dissociating.

Once I understood alters existed in my fifth year of college and James started leaving front more often to work on other things internally, I started to recognize when he wasn't there. And when he was I could "feel" his presence, even if he wasn't speaking. Almost like having an aura or a vibe. It was incredibly comforting to me. He had always been there, since the very very beginning and had always protected me and everyone else. Of course he was comforting! Though, he was definitely quite cold and harsh at times, as he was very adamant in making sure I was not aware of trauma memories.

Nowadays that I am finally and truly accepting that the disorder exists and now have counted (I think???) about 29ish alters and fragments, things are much more fluid and it's easier to tell "oh, Foster is near front, he's starting to blend with me which means he might front soon." There is a lot less amnesia for us nowadays too because I am almost always co-con or at least semi-aware of what's going on in front. It's taken over a year of specialized DID therapy to get this far. My DID therapy is moving very quickly, which came from a lot of working on communication outside of therapy and taking breaks when necessary. (Going mach speed through DID therapy is not advised...I learned that the hard way.) Since more trauma has come out recently, things have been slowing down a lot...which I prefer, honestly. Slow and steady wins the race. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

So yeah, the feeling that someone else is fronting soon or feeling their presence seems to be normal. I can say "Pain is co-con and Foster is around/nearby" and that would make sense in a DID context.

However, other symptoms of DID are necessary, which you have mentioned. Such as amnesia for life occurrences, amnesia for trauma, etc. I've heard OSDD systems have less amnesia but can still have it, but perhaps not as much blackouts as DID folks have. And parts in OSDD-1b can be defined, but I heard more passive type switches are more common, as in "becoming" someone else rather than a "hard switch" that would happen in folks with DID who suffer from amnesia. I am not an expert in OSDD (or DID, I just happen to have the latter and have worked with specialist and asked a lot of questions in that time.) so if someone has more info (preferably with sources if you can because OSDD is VERY misunderstood in the system community and I want you to receive correct information) please feel free to contribute.

I think if you believe you have trauma, experience amnesia and dissociation to some degree, and feel like you have different self-states that take control of the body in some way (even if it's not physical control, such as being co-con and liking things you wouldn't normally like or acting strange when you are still in control because of passive influence) then there's a possibility that DID/OSDD could be involved. However, other disorders can present similarly to DID like I already mentioned, which is a big reason why DID takes so long to diagnose. If I were you, I would do a lot more research regarding the subject and not only ask me, a random Tumblr system that doesn't know you. XD I am happy to educate, but I am not going to diagnose. Even if I was a licensed therapist I would not be able to do so because I really don't know enough about your situation.

Depending on your view of syscourse, there are some really great blogs that provide fantastic information about DID. Here they are:

@justanothersyscourse

@constellation-of-us

@foreverfragmented (this blog as a Google Drive full of DID/OSDD information in their pinned post which is fantastic.)

There used to be a blog called anti-endo-agony-auncles and I know they changed their url but I cannot for the life of me remember it so anyone knows it please tell me. They are also a fantastic resource.

This blog talks about DID recovery without psychiatry, which is badass if it works for you:

@holywheel

For support and positivity for trauma survivors (not just DID systems):

@traumasurvivors

Just know that some of these blogs require you to be an adult, and they are anti-endo. A fantastic system that is unaligned in syscourse is @circulars-reasoning. Though they seem to focus more on the syscourse side of things, which I don't recommend early on in trying to figure out what's going on with you. I made that mistake and, similarly to circulars-reasoning, was involved in the endo community for a while which only proved to confuse me more. Because I didn't believe I had trauma, but was experiencing DID symptoms regardless.

ALSO do not expect to get a diagnosis out of any of these blogs either, as you should not be trying to get a diagnosis from someone on Tumblr. However, these folks have good information that might help clear some things up. Overall, you should do research from scholarly sources, they are available as pdfs basically everywhere nowadays.

Good luck, stay safe, and be well.

Peace!

-Jules

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florenceisfalling · 3 years

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also ive seen sm syscourse in dni banners on those kind of pages and its wild to me bc that particular area of the internet seems to just be a conversation like “i have some similarities to you” “stop saying we’re the same” “i know, we just have a few similarities”

#i just dont talk about it much #but i do not consider myself to be one person. like at all. i definitely consider this to be more of an ''us'' situation than a ''me''#and i also have issues w dissociation and so forth #but i in no way think i have did/osdd #and i would never claim to #and i wouldnt use their terms #and #like ok this may be a little out of my lane to say #but i think there are many ways someone could feel like they are part of a plural group or whatever u would call it #without being in an actual did system #like if they have religious beliefs associated with it or certain coping mechanisms #and i think those people are valid #and they deserve a space to talk about things #and it isnt harmful if they use stuff that did systems use (like tupperbox or whatever)#however i dont think they should be using all the same terms as the did community #bc the experiences of those with an actual dissociative disorder are completely different from others who just consider themselves plural #the way people talk about ''endogenic systems'' vs ''traumagenic systems'' makes it sound like trauma is optional for did which is fALSE #just like compleTELY factually incorrect #basically. my thoughts are. you can be plural without DID. but you should respect DID spaces #and you cant have DID without having trauma & dissociation & stuff fucking obviously #oh also i think its funny that astraeas web is the name of that one website for this bc bro thats one of my names too yooooo #syscourse tw #discourse

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welcometothenightcourt · 3 years

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hi!! I had a few questions. I’ve been questioning if I’m a system for a while and I rlly don’t know at which point it’s ok to say I am(how do I become confident in that?). I truly feel like different people with separate identities at times, and like I possibly have passive influence..especially with gender and sexuality. but what if if my identity is just fluid? along with feeling like different people, at times I rlly feel like the world and body isn’t mine or that I’m not even real or human. I think im ghostkin(as in involuntarily I feel like I am a ghost..dinosaur too) but I wonder if these are actually non human (or “undead ghost”) alters? how do I tell? recently I also looked back on old(but honestly not even that old at all) conversations.. to find that I had an extremely different typing style and way of behaving.. it distressed me and I didn’t think I could ever behave like that… especially since the way I act/type has changed so much in a short period of time.. I don’t remember this change happening.. possibly it’s just me becoming more mature but I rlly felt disconnected from that “past me.” Ive also always had dissociation and have been forgetful at times… it feels like everyday besides the current present never actually happened and it’s hard to remember or feel like it was me that experienced it. I do end up remembering stuff (it depends-) but is that amnesia? bc I know to have DID and OSDD-1a u need amnesia… so I’m like .. if I don’t have it then would I have OSDD-1b?.. the problem I’m having though… is that I’m not exactly having any communication with ANYONE in any way and I know very little(no names and such) about any other alters except: one feels transmasc one feels transfem and I started calling the transfem one momo?.. there’s also me having a traumatic experience and started to identity 100% as a fictional character (two but mainly this one happens right at the trauma) so I wonder if it’s not a kin but a fictives? .. plus at a young age I do remember experiencing trauma … so it makes me wonder if I’m a system or not .. but honestly I don’t know how to tell at this point bc I’ve tried to talk to others and it doesn’t work … I don’t feel confident saying I’m a system bc my experiences are not the same as others.. (they have carrds listing s bunch of info on all alters) and I don’t…and I don’t want u to dx me!! I just don’t know what to do at this point in time..? I don’t know how to move forward or what I should do .. when is it ok to say I’m a system and how do I know which disorder I have?…I’m scared to tell my therapist ANYTHING mental health relays honestly

hi!! I had a few questions. I’ve been questioning if I’m a system for a while and I rlly don’t know at which point it’s ok to say I am(how do I become confident in that?). I truly feel like different people with separate identities at times, and like I possibly have passive influence..especially with gender and sexuality. but what if if my identity is just fluid? along with feeling like different people, at times I rlly feel like the world and body isn’t mine or that I’m not even real or human. I think im ghostkin(as in involuntarily I feel like I am a ghost..dinosaur too) but I wonder if these are actually non human (or “undead ghost”) alters? how do I tell? recently I also looked back on old(but honestly not even that old at all) conversations.. to find that I had an extremely different typing style and way of behaving.. it distressed me and I didn’t think I could ever behave like that… especially since the way I act/type has changed so much in a short period of time.. I don’t remember this change happening.. possibly it’s just me becoming more mature but I rlly felt disconnected from that “past me.” Ive also always had dissociation and have been forgetful at times… it feels like everyday besides the current present never actually happened and it’s hard to remember or feel like it was me that experienced it. I do end up remembering stuff (it depends-) but is that amnesia? bc I know to have DID and OSDD-1a u need amnesia… so I’m like .. if I don’t have it then would I have OSDD-1b?.. the problem I’m having though… is that I’m not exactly having any communication with ANYONE in any way and I know very little(no names and such) about any other alters except: one feels transmasc one feels transfem and I started calling the transfem one momo?.. there’s also me having a traumatic experience and started to identity 100% as a fictional character (two but mainly this one happens right at the trauma) so I wonder if it’s not a kin but a fictives? .. I also feel like often I’m possibly co con ?? bc I’ll feel unlike “me”/the body yet say “I have to be (body name) who else could I be)… plus at a young age I do remember experiencing trauma … so it makes me wonder if I’m a system or not .. but honestly I don’t know how to tell at this point bc I’ve tried to talk to others and it doesn’t work … I don’t feel confident saying I’m a system bc my experiences are not the same as others.. (they have carrds listing s bunch of info on all alters) and I don’t…and I don’t want u to dx me!! I just don’t know what to do at this point in time..? I don’t know how to move forward or what I should do .. I’m scared to tell my therapist ANYTHING mental health relays honestly Rn

Okay, first things first bud: slow down. Take a breath, and remember that there is absolutely no rush to come to these conclusions. Not about your system status, not about your gender, not about any of this stuff.

Next: As long as you’ve done your research, and taken time to really look at yourself and did/osdd/udd, and you feel like your experiences align with them, then it’s okay to self dx it.

As for the amnesia, yes. Amnesia is most commonly thought about as a complete black out, Idk what the hell happened at all kind of amnesia, but that’s not the only or even the most common type of amnesia. While black outs happen for some, grey outs (sort of remembering, but also not really, maybe like remembering big events but not any details of the event) or emotional amnesia (remembering something sort of but also feeling very emotionally disconnected) are far more common.

It’s important to remember that no ones experiences in system life are exactly the same way. Just because your experiences aren’t exactly the same as those you see doesn’t disqualify you from having the disorder at all. For every system you see out here having organisation and lists and blogs and whatnot there are three to five more you don’t see because their systems aren’t so comfortable with that or known or communicative or overt enough.

On a personal note, it took five years for us since we started questioning and noticing things to even accept and conclude that we were a system, and three years since that to get to the communication level that we have. Also, remember that here on Tumblr and on places like TikTok and whatnot, we get to choose how we present ourselves, what we do and do not share. We tailor how others see us. And most of the time for yalls viewing pleasure, we keep our dark shit off of this page. Our serious struggles and trauma and bad shit that comes with DID goes to our private vent page. What you see on social media is not ever going to be a 100% perspective of a disorder and all of the ways it manifests.

That being said, if you feel like you don’t quite fit the criteria for DID or OSDD, there is another diagnoses called UDD which can include those with systems. Please read this post for more on self dx, the criteria for DID, OSSD, and UDD, and related. (It’s also pinned in our pinned post, so you may or may not have read it already)

Lastly, the fact that you don’t feel comfortable talking to your Mental Health Professional about mental health is very concerning. I strongly recommend you get a new MHP asap with whom you can discuss these things if at all possible.

I hope this helps, and if you have any more questions or if I missed something you wanted a direct response to, don’t hesitate to ask. Always happy to answer to the best of my ability

#did #actuallydid #asks #ask #system #long ask #osdd

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soncfseed · 4 years

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REPOSTED FROM MY OLD BLOG: Probably my most important headcanon, so please take the time to read this!!

spoilers ahead, but im gonna look at ethans cutscenes and talk about how his bpd (borderline personality disorder) affects his actions and his perceptions throughout the story of new dawn. this is all just headcanon and my interpretation of ethan and how bpd would affect him. none of this is meant to excuse his more nefarious actions, but explain why my interpretation of ethan doesnt pin him as a selfish, horrible, awful monster, but rather a young man with a lot of unresolved trauma and a serious mental health condition who ended up making some terrible choices that resulted in a lot of pain for a lot of people.

0:05 - ethan’s introduction

in this scene ethan experiences some pretty quick and dramatic mood shifts, and has a pretty significant emotional outburst. these are characteristic of the mood swings and emotional dis-regulation experienced by many people with bpd. he starts off catching the captain off guard, sneaking up behind them. ethan has been taught to distrust outsiders, and a symptom of bpd he experiences is suspicion of others and sometimes brief bouts of paranoia. this kind of behaviour makes sense when this is taken into context.

he says that he might not be what the captain expects. this is part of his low self esteem and struggles with his self image and how others perceive him. he constantly feels as though he can never truly be his own person, outside of joseph seed, and that his existence is a disappointment to those who know him.

once he sees the book, he is triggered into a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. acknowledging that the deputy is the one who found the book, and according to joseph’s prophecy will be the true ruler of new eden, is what sets him off. once ethan goes into his rant about it should’ve been him, he’s experiencing a mood swing and sudden spike in his anger and irritability. due to his issues w emotional regulation and control over his expressions of emotion, ethan lashes out by screaming and knocking over the podium in the church. mood swings for bpd sufferers can be only minutes long. what pulls ethan back down to earth a bit is a sudden rush when he realizes he can work with the captain to enlighten new eden to the truth: that joseph is a man, not a messiah, and kind of a shitty one at that who abandoned them all.

3:50 - ethan’s first speech in new eden

ethan’s posturing here is just that; posturing. he’s putting on a bit of a show with the “non believer” bit. he does, however, not entirely trust outsiders nor would he trust that the people of new eden wouldn’t turn on him if he suggested that the captain go north. no, instead he plays off of what he expects the people will do to avoid potential rejection or rebellion. this plays off of his mistrust and suspicion of others, as well as serves to protect his secret interests (getting proof that joseph is dead to get new eden to move on from him) and his ego (tied to the bpd symptom of self image issues and unstable self realization).

ethan can’t help but be a bit sarcastic with “we are all his children”. sarcasm and unwarranted aloofness can tie into bpd, and here it definitely does due to his poor relationship with his father, and with the rumours surrounding his paternity in new eden.

while bpd does not inherently make people manipulative, manipulation of others is often something those with bpd adopt as a coping mechanism to manage their unstable relationships or unstable self image. ethan has adopted this trait in some ways and this is definitely one of them. he does not trust the people of new eden, and knows they wont listen to him fully. this is his main motivator for keeping his plan secret.

the fact that ethan feels he has to act a certain way when he’s the leader of new eden further contributes to his unstable self realization. he puts on different fronts to different people to try and both please them and protect himself.

when he says “they will at last understand that i am their prophet…”, this is in part because he feels he’s worked hard to be the inheritor of new eden. he’s not only joseph’s son (and even if he doesn’t like joseph he wants to be recognized as his biological son, making the rumours about his paternity even more hurtful) but he’s been a successful leader as far as we can tell. to think he will lose it all over a book is damn near panic inducing for ethan. well this is in part a kind of arrogance, it’s fueled by his extreme emotions/mood swings as well as how closely he ties his identity to his position within his community. because his self image is so unstable, threats to that cause him to act in ways that may seem irrational or extreme in order to try and protect his self image. also, ethan will only help the captain in exchange for something in part bc of his suspicion of others. he doesn’t want to offer new eden’s archers and resources without knowing that he will benefit in return. after all, if something goes wrong in new eden bc of this outsider and he allowed it, it’s his responsibility to take the blame and fix it.

5:20 - into the bliss

theres not much in this scene to tie to his bpd. one line i think is important though: “bring me proof of my fathers death and i will make sure you are remembered as a friend of the prophet”. well this can be interpreted as ethan saying to kill joseph, i dont think he is. ethan believes joseph is long gone, that he could never survive all alone for this long. ethan isn’t evil, he’s not asking someone to commit murder, he’s asking them to confirm that someone is already dead. sure, he’s self serving and he wants something in return for his allyship, but to him this is how he can ensure a fair trade, and that an outsider won’t take advantage of him or new eden as easily.

14:18 - ethan, interrupted

ethan’s big speech where joseph fuckin crashes it. at first, he literally does not even see joseph in the crowd. he truly believes he’s dead and that the captain will bring back proof of this. to him, adherence to his rule makes sense; he’s the leader, and things need to change. it is arrogant, because ethan has partially internalized a sense of superiority and entitlement because of his position as joseph’s son, and now heir to the rulership of new eden (he thinks). this combined with an unstable self esteem and self image makes him want total compliance to his rule. criticism, disobedience, they threaten his self worth and that can send him into an emotional spiral or severe mood swing. so, to try and avoid the negative consequences he experiences from perceived slights and rejections, he wants a clean slate and total adherence to his new rules.

when he actually sees joseph, he stops, stammers, and says “father?”. not the father. just father. in this moment, his father who abandoned him (who went out for smokes and never came back) has suddenly shown up in the middle of his speech about him being dead. his arm drops and he stands there, stunned and speechless. his first question is “where have you been?”. he wants to know why and he asks why. why did his father abandon them? abandon him? the answer is completely meaningless to him. it’s basic, it has no detail, and isn’t sufficient. he’s speechless again for a bit, breathing heavier and hyperventilating. he steps away from joseph. when joseph calls the captain god’s sword, ethan damn near does a double take. he’s literally standing in his father’s shadow while he exalts an outsider in front of his own son, after interrupting his speech and embarrassing him in front of everyone.

one of ethan’s symptoms is his overvaluing and undervaluing people in his life. this is when he switches from overvaluing the captain, putting too much faith and hope into them, to undervaluing and practically hating them. his relationship with his father is tenuous, and rocky. it is characterized by ethan’s intense desire to be josephs successor and publicly recognized as his son. ethan even calls out to joseph, upset about the fact that hes now suddenly and publicly being dethroned; joseph doesnt even look back at him. ethan rejects josephs words in anger. he has a sudden outburst in front of the crowd; yet another sudden spike in his emotions from a stressful situation causes him to say what he’s really thinking. “you abandoned me. you abandoned us.” ethan says joseph didn’t leave instructions or a message, just left ethan to lead with no idea how. he does the best job he can under these extreme circumstances, and now all of his hard work is for nothing. that would make even the most level headed neurotypical person upset. whenn ethan starts to lose the support of new eden, he breaks down a bit. the anchor of his self image has been completely ripped away from him in a moment. he storms off partially and his body language is pretty dire; head down, shoulders moving sharply like he’s breathing harshly, and then he turns to watch the crowd walk away from him. imo, part of why ethan doesn’t completely lose it in this scene is that he might be partially dissociating or beginning to dissociate or experience some de-realization from the sudden, acute emotional distress this moment causes for him.

17:45 - ethan’s response

this is when ethan says that the captain betrayed him. they had a deal. he completely put his trust into the captain, idealizing them as the person who could solve his problems, only for them to bring joseph back and make everything in ethans life worse. now, the pendulum swings to the other side where ethan begins to loathe the captain. saying that the captain should have killed joseph themselves is an expression of 1) the intense reactions people with bpd can have to certain situations and 2) his skewed logic because of it. what seems totally irrational to someone else might seem like the only logical solution to a problem for someone with bpd. the stress of such a painful, emotionally charged situation like this one. he never wants to see the captain again; on a dime he flips, from putting all of his trust and hope into one person to saying he never wants to see them again and that they betrayed him. this quick switch of very intense perceptions of others is a cycle of idealization and undervaluing that people with bpd may experience.

18:07 - ethan’s prayer letter

in this letter, ethan discusses how he feels he hates his father for the abandonment; how joseph “expected everything and gave nothing”, how ethan never got to really have joseph as a father for himself because he was too busy being THE father. he says wrath and envy grip him tight to the point he feels he can’t breathe. this is definitely indicative of ethans mood swings and intense emotions, especially the irrational anger and aggression many people with bpd can have. then, he says nobody but himself, his mother, and god can know about how he feels, and that he must put on a front for new eden and be a leader to them “no matter what”. this is absolutely something i can see being tied to his bpd. he is aware that expressing his thoughts, feelings, and reactions to others would probably get a negative reaction. he seeks to avoid that, as well as to avoid the judgment from others he thinks he would get. his unstable self image is complicated by the fact that he feels obligated to hide the symptoms of his illness, and pretend to be someone he isn’t. this only makes it worse, as he ties his social and therefore individual identity to “ruler of new eden”. he relies very much on the responses and reactions of others to gauge whether or not he seems “normal” or capable of doing his job.

18:27 - npc dialogue

ethan says that josephs followers see the prophecy coming to light, but ethan sees it as a chance for new eden to make its own path. this is also when ethan says that he is josephs biological son, and that his mother raised him outside of hope county and brought him there when he was young to be raised by joseph. she died from an illness on their journey. this is some pretty significant baggage for ethan. he wants new eden, and himself, to become independent. the only reason he stays in new eden is because of his mother. he loves her, and idealizes her in a way that never flips to undervaluing because the relationship is one sided since her passing.

19:23 - megan’s letter to joseph

this is important just bc it states megan raised ethan as a non believer but after the collapse taught him about joseph’s word. this is important for ethan because it means he had to relearn some pretty significant things after the apocalypse, including a whole new religion and worldview. this can be very confusing for a child, and in part explains why ethan isn’t totally on board with josephs word, or the all of new eden’s beliefs surrounding him; his earliest formative years had nothing to do with joseph seed or prophets or collapses. he had to convert, and did so as a child who couldn’t really understand or make that choice for himself. he is tied to new eden solely because of megan, and without her wish to have him be josephs heir, he would’ve left long ago.

20:08 - intermission/flashback

this is when we see a young babby ethan get nasty with joseph. this is an early sign of his bpd developing. he has an intense reaction and says something very hurtful to his father over not getting what he wants, which isn’t just the apple but his father’s approval. to him, this is another rejection by joseph, or it is perceived that way by a young ethan. constantly being told something wasn’t gods plan, or it isn’t part of a prophecy without further explanation was confusing and frustrating for ethan growing up. he wanted the apple to be like his father; he wanted the apple to feel integrated into his community like the others who were given the gift. this denial, one that is permanent and leaves no room for ethan to change or grow and become capable of handling its strength leaves him feeling defeated and angry. his reaction of “you are an old man, and when you die i will take one” shows a very quick emotional shift and a shift from idolizing his father and wanting to be like him to practically hating him, becoming cold and distant in mere moments.

21:16 - joseph’s worry

“ethan’s sin is pride. there is something deep inside him that no word of mine can touch. i worry that now as an outsider appears to take his place that beast will feed on resentment and grow stronger. ” YEAH ITS BPD YA DINGUS fdpgpfd but more seriously, ethans pride is a coping mechanism to deal with his ever changing self image and self worth. its a rigid barrier to keep others from knowing how weak he really feels, and how uncertain he is of himself.

23:25 - ethan’s betrayal

this is where ethan betrays new eden and sets them up so the highwaymen can destroy the settlement. he tolerates the highwaymen laughing at him only so he can get what he wants: revenge. this extreme response is from his bpd. his impulsive anger, and the extremes his mind goes to won out and he acted on his violent thoughts.

26:26 - ethan and the fruit

when joseph asks ethan what hes done (referring to betraying new eden), ethan says: “i did what i had to do. i freed myself, i freed us all from you, from your rules.”. to ethan this was logical. this was something he had to do. he didn’t take pleasure in it, he didn’t go into new eden and kill everyone himself. no, he handed them over to the highwaymen in a desperate, out of touch moment. the spark was there and his disorder was gasoline that helped the flames to spread. he reacted intensely, out of irrationally extreme anger, towards an entire group of people he had shifted to undervaluing. he felt betrayed so he returned in kind, but no matter how wrong that was ethan couldnt see it.

“i will have what you denied me. you gave it to an outsider but you wouldn’t give it to me. i am your flesh and blood” and explosively tells joseph he doesnt know gods will. he lashes out against his father, arguing with him and rebelling directly by taking the one thing joseph kept him from that he truly wanted. to ethan, in my hc, the apple is more than just power and more than just something he covets. its a symbol of joseph’s fatherhood, of his love; he gave it to everyone but ethan, his own son, and now he would take what he wanted from life with or without josephs input.

31:08 - the death of ethan seed

the first thing ethan says after he sees joseph is “father… i’m sorry”. he’s scared. he knows he’s going to die. he asks if joseph can forgive him. he knows he’s fucked up, obviously, not just by eating the apple but by betraying new eden. his last word is “father”. no matter how torn his relationship was with joseph, he wanted his father’s love. he wanted connection with his father. he wanted to feel validated, have his identity confirmed, even in his last moments.

#hc #repost from old blog

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w0nderlandkids · 5 years

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hi guys so bear with me this is gonna be a long one.

a package arrived for me today, it was from my school. i already knew what it was, they told me the other day it was coming, but that didn’t stop me from getting rlly hype over it.

it was my diploma.

my long awaited and well earned diploma finally arrived today and my immediate reaction was to cry.

see, college was a really rough experience for me. i started at one school and by the end of my first semester i decided to transfer. so i spent my 2nd semester applying to schools. this entire time my mental health started spiraling and i started losing a grip on my sanity. i was experiencing the worst my anxiety has ever been, i couldn’t leave my room and three panic attacks in one day was considered a good day. along with panic attacks, i started dissociating a lot. i lost touch with reality and it felt like i was watching someone else live instead of actually living myself. my body stopped feeling like my body. everything felt unnatural. my eating disorder was also at it’s worst. in the spring of freshman year i received news that shattered me and broke me. i thought i was spiraling before, this was like i was plummeting a million miles an hour.

eventually i did transfer schools. i originally had 2 majors and when i got to my new school i was going to have those same 2 majors and a minor. i was still struggling a lot with my mental health sophomore year. i stopped going to class. my A average became a C average. i thought partying and drinking and getting high was more important than studying and going to class. but that was my way of coping and healing. if i wasnt partying, i was sleeping. i wasn’t myself. i was a completely different person, but i didn’t want to actually deal with what happened. i wanted to stay numb. i ended up failing my first semester of sophomore year. i got a 1.6 GPA and was put on academic probation. this kind of snapped me into reality. i made a lighter schedule for the spring semester in hopes to boost my GPA, and i did a lot better. but i was still drinking and smoking and partying a lot.

i found out my second major and minor never made it into the system which was really shocking. i realized i didn’t want my first major but i was already more than halfway done so i had to stick it out. a lot of people started to doubt me. tell me i was gonna fail out of college with all the partying i did. told me transferring wasn’t gonna let me graduate on time. told me i was gonna fuck up more if i kept changing my mind with what i wanted to do. that i was a failure. i was going to amount to nothing. i peaked academically in high school. i met with my advisor and he told me i was set to graduate up to a year early. that stressed me out even more but it looked like graduating a semester early seemed like a real possibility.

junior year saw me finish out most of my gen eds and almost all of my major. but junior year also saw me struggle more with my mental health and unhealthy coping mechanisms. i joined a support group and found a family with those girls. but i was still going out a lot, especially after i turned 21. i was constantly going out with friends and going home with random guys for one night stands. i was smoking a lot and did other drugs. if i wasnt going out, i went to the grocery store across the street and bought 2 liter bottles of wine or 6 packs of beer and downing them in one night on my own. people came and went from my life and i constantly broke down because i absolutely HATED what i was turning into. but spring semester of junior year it became official that i only had a semester left.

which brings me to fall 2018. my final semester of college. i was sober and in the most loving relationship i ever had. i made a lot of progress with my mental help thanks to therapy and my support group. i decided what i wanted for post grad and i had a new job that i enjoyed. i still struggled with alcohol abuse, just because i was sober didn’t mean i didn’t have to fight the urges every single night. in november of 2018 i met with my dean who signed off on winter graduation. and on december 13, 2018 at 8 am i took my last final of undergrad and was officially done.

and today. on february 15, 2019 i got to hang up my diploma next to my sister’s college diploma. it was a bumpy ride, but i did it. i fucking did it and i am so fucking proud of myself.

3.5 years. 2 schools. 3 mental illnesses i struggled with. countless panic attacks. 1 failed class. 5 borderline failed classes. 1 failed semester. countless breakdowns. countless classes skipped. countless classes i was drunk and/or hungover in. 3 years of therapy. 3 switches in my majors/minors. a 2.7 final GPA. $100s spent on alcohol. countless mistakes. 3 broken hearts. 2 failed relationships. and a hell of a struggle later,

i get to say i’m officially a college grad with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology.

and i��d just like to say, a HUGE FUCK YOU to anyone who doubted me. to anyone who said i couldnt do it. to anyone who said i was a failure. to anyone who said i was worthless and would amount to nothing.

i. fucking. did. it. and i am so fucking proud of myself and no one can take that away from me.

even when i thought i couldnt do it, i still somehow did.

so even though i look like trash bc i was just waking up and was crying, here is me holding my diploma for the first time(:

#if you read this all i love you #mine #my post #rant #college grad #bachelor of arts #commencement is in may tho #i did it #and im so proud of myself

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mental-health-advice · 6 years

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Submission from Oxford

(1/?) Hello this may be long. Tag as Oxford. So Ive either had really great mental health or poor mental health. I struggled w depression for awhile and the verge of an eating disorder but I am good with those now. Apparently I have anxiety but i disagree (just because I think doesnt mean Im anxious?). But there is always something going on. Currently, I am content but I find myself ABRUPTLY emotional and nearly on the verge of tears over random things (an old woman was my cashier today—

(2/?) —and I nearly cried in my car because I just got sad wondering if she was alone, she sounded so alone. Some things have randomly have a super big impact on me, like abnormally. This is an example of what I think is wrong with me; except I am contenr. I am fairly happy I think. Another example of a bad period I went through was 7-8 months ago where I couldnt tell what was reality and what wasnt, I disassociated for nearly 3 weeks and then was immediately fine afterwards. Then—

(3/?) After those three weeks and then being fine, I was put on pills for “anxiety” and nearly got hospitalized (TRIGGER WARNING!) because I was happy but I was so intrigued in killing myself. I wanted to cut my arms open so badly. But I felt fine. Then that period ended and I’ve been fairly normal besides “anxiety.” So this has been my life for four years now: I experience a bad period like depression, starving, disassociating, suicidal thoughts, etc, but in between them, I feel—

(4/?) perfectly fine and happy, maybe some true anxiety but nothing bad. And Ive seen a counselor two separate times, the first time was foe 6ish months and she felt I was good enough to stop seeing her and I agreed (I was in a “perfectly fine” state). Same thing happened the second time (sent back after I was threatened to be hospitalized) . But it seems that after I stop seeing her, even though it comes to a point where there is no help from seeing her, it seems that after—

(5/?) i stop seeing her then something goes completely wrong (the dissociative period for example or this period i in rn). Idk. I think there is something wrong woth me (but at the same time I think there isnt bc I dont have “anxiety” as people think and things like that) but idk how to approach it. I feel like there are two Me’s and one is always trying to shine, which is why sometimes I feel like I am drastically messed up and other times I feel I am perfectly “normal” —

(6/?) Is this abnormal? If so, not asking for a diagnosis, but what’s an opinion on what this is so I could possibly bring it up?? Also also, I dont know how I could bring this up bc people see me as a hypochondriac so I feel i wouldnt be taken seriously— the last time i saw a doctor it was bc j thought i had ocd (another thing, i am “borderline ocd” but i get offended when people think i have anxiety???) but then I had that “perfectly normal” phase again so I feel like Im so left—

(7/?) and right and up and down with myself that it’s hard to even tell what’s wrong if something is wrong. I dont know I dont even know why I sent these in. I forgot my point. Sometimes I just get so into a rambly “something is seriously wrong with me” mood but I feel im just being a “anxious hypochondriac” if I say anything and I dont want to be embarrassed to see a counselor for a third time for s third separate issue. Im sorry this was such a ramble bc I forgot my points—

(8/8) But if anything I said makes sense, please respond to it with as much as you can. I dont think my mind is supposed to be a ferris wheel. And if yall think this is something I should bring up with someone (maybe im in a mania or depressive phase???), that would be great. Thank you and sorry again

Hello Oxford,

Firstly, no need to be sorry! We’re here to listen and help in whatever way we can. So thank you for sending in the message - it’s great that you’re looking for some answers and some support.

I think that if you feel there’s something wrong with the way you’re feeling, then there is something wrong. We’re the most in-tune people with our own bodies and minds, and we know best when something is off. It sounds like you’ve been getting some support for a while, but it hasn’t necessarily been the support that you need. That can definitely leave you in a state of confusion, where things are just staying the same and you’re wondering if things will change.

Although we can’t diagnose you, as we’re not medical professionals, I can say that your symptoms can be a part of a number of mental illnesses. Things like depressive disorders can often come in waves where you feel them intensely for a period of time, then get a break of calm for a while, only to have that wave come back and hit you. Is it possible that those time where you are feeling content, you’re actually feeling detached, or emotionless? Or are you truly fine in those times? It’s something to think about - both types of things can happen in different disorders.

I think that following this, the best thing to do is to get some support on board that is actually helpful for you. The diagnosis that you have is causing you to feel uneasy, as you don’t feel like it fits you, so I think a good place to start is seeing someone who can assess your diagnosis. This might be your family doctor, or you could ask to be referred to a clinical psychologist (must be a clinical psychologist - regular psychologists do not have the training to diagnose) or a psychiatrist. We have a page here on How To Get Help that has some tips on asking for that kind of support. What would be best is being upfront and to the point with your doctor by saying you have been diagnosed with anxiety, but you don’t feel like that’s right and want to be reassessed so that you can get proper treatment. If you don’t feel confident that your doctor will listen, I encourage you to try seeing some different doctors around your area until you find someone that you feel comfortable with. Your comfort and being listened to is very important.

When you do see the person who can diagnose you, I think you should start by explaining what you said to the doctor. They’ll then look at history and symptoms. Be as open and honest as possible, as this will help them determine what is really the underlying problem. Also know that sometimes diagnosis doesn’t happen straight away. I’ve personally started seeing a clinical psychologist for re-evaluation of my own diagnosis, and we’ve have 4 sessions together and he doesn’t yet feel confident in giving a diagnosis. That’s okay - sometimes it takes a bit of chatting, hearing the history, then hearing how everyday life affects you before anything can be determined.

I also want to let you know that if you ever see a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist or anyone that you don’t connect with, or you don’t feel like they listen to you, it is completely within your rights to seek the help from another doctor. It’s important to get the type of support that you personally need, and sometimes it can take a few goes before you meet the person who gives that support. Just make sure to maintain the balance of giving them a chance, and finding what suits you!

Lastly, know that there is nothing wrong for seeking help a third time. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve cycled through therapist and psychologists over the years. If you need help, you need help, and there’s nothing wrong with that. They are there to offer support, and you don’t need to feel embarrassed for asking for help. So please do reach out.

We also have some links here that may help you. Here are some Helplines and Web Counsellors that you can chat to at any time about what you’re feeling. It can help to let it out, and have someone help you find the direction that you need to go. I feel like this may be really helpful for you. We also have a list of Recovery Tools here, which may help you in the times where your emotions become overwhelming.

I hope these tools help you, and that you’re able to reach out for some more support to look in the diagnosis and some coping techniques. You don’t need to feel embarrassed for seeking help - it is exactly what they are there for. Good luck to you, and please don’t hesitate to contact us again if you need.

Positive thoughts your way, Alexandria.

#oxford #submission #mhaalexandria #mental health advice #advice #advice blog #mental health #anxiety #emotions #diagnosis #doctors #therapists #getting help

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sxyurii · 7 years

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Kaneki’s DID

This is gonna be long post bc i wanted to analyze it well lmao

I noticed that whole manga Kaneki changes his personality multiple times.And what’s weird abt it is that its always completely different,or opposite,personality that he used to be.

And I used to think its probs for the symbolism and that “rebirth” thing idk but now i really think that Kaneki is showing alot of symptoms of DID.

Dissociative identity disorder, formerly referred to as multiple personality disorder, is a condition wherein a person's identity is fragmented into two or more distinct personality states.

DID is caused or triggered,usually by severe physical and sexual abuse (Yamori torturing Kaneki and thats when it firstable started to develop) and 90% of patients expierenced childhood abuse (Kaneki got beat up by his mom).

It can appear at any age and usually person has post-traumatic symptoms like nightmares, flashbacks, and startle responses and we saw that Kaneki has that all,especially in a “Switch” for another personality there are usually words “Good Night” and in this chapter “Good Morning”.Also not to mention his all nightmares and vivid flashbacks w chekboard sky and memories of Rize and his live and all those decisions and mistakes he made before.

Also,I need to mention that when person is expierencing the “attack” of DID they lose memory or memory is surpressed by mind of another person who is in it’s mind and even tho this disorder (Haise not remembering that he is actually Kaneki) and it kinda reminds me in some points of Schizoprenia its not really the same but its really bad damage of person’s mind and soul that causes appearance of voices inside of their mind and we saw that in most crucial moments when Kaneki is in big life danger and when everything seems to fall apart he goes through alot of stress and his mind and DID is triggered in activating the another personality to come in and replace current Kaneki bc maybe that other person inside of him can handle the situation better.Its like hes shaped in other person each time due outside world that presses him to become someone else and survive.

Usually the lets call it Primar personality of person is passive,depressed,dependent and feels alot of guilt for some things and its own life (Kuroneki)

And when another alter ego person takes control (Shironeki) may be experienced as if it has a distinct way of thinking, self-image and identity. Also we see it later when Shironeki is replaced by Haise it is different personality and then Haise is replaced with edgelord Black Reaper and its so much difference that they dont even seem like its all the same person.

The alters' characteristics—including name, reported age and way they look like, vocabulary, general knowledge, and predominant mood—contrast with those of the primary identity. (I said how all Kaneki;s elter personalities are usually complete opposite of one another).Certain circumstances or stressors can cause a particular alter to emerge aka all those situations where Kaneki’s goal to save everyone was crushed again and he feels unable to do that so he changes again in another person and in this panel there r those curcial moments shown:

And i forgot to say that due conflict in between this alter egos they deny the existence of one before them as “useless” and they think of themself as the “higher one” and i think at Kaneki’s case it represents in way that hes obsessed w thought that he has to save everyone and that whoever “he used to be” is too weak for that and that its his fault for everything that happened.

People with DID may describe feeling that they have suddenly become depersonalized observers of their own speech and actions. They might report hearing voices like a child's voice,and Kaneki usually hallucinates his own child self.

And in some cases, these voices accompany multiple streams of thought that the individual has no control over. The individual might also experience sudden impulses or strong emotions that they don't feel control or a sense of ownership over.

People may also report that their bodies suddenly feel different like a small child, huge and muscular (and Kaneki does get huge strength when hes expeirencing)or that they experience a sudden shift in attitudes or personal preferences before shifting back.

And more than 70% of persons who suffer from this are very suicidal and as we know Kaneki is probably most suicidal person ever LMAO

So basically that’s it I put just some of examples of Kaneki’s disorder but Im pt sure there’s more and I hope i explained it well

#this is my first analysis #ever #i had fun w this tbh #i hope yall feel what i tried to say lmao #kaneki ken #tgre #tgre144 #tgre spoilers #long post #tokyo ghoul #dissociative identity disorder

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artificialpersonalities-blog · 6 years

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Scientists Have Managed Map Artificial Personalities To Human Beings!

My purpose of writing this article is to educate you about a crime that is happening in plain sight. Since our known history, we have been fooled to believe in aliens for the cause of unidentified flying objects, however, the truth is these flying machines are being developed by human beings and not by aliens as we believe. Unless you do a massive research, understanding this crime is not easy. You may not ignore these claims without doing a further research into these claims by yourself, since you, your loved ones, could become a victim for this technology at any time without you being aware of this. Therefore, though this could be a long article, I highly advise you to read the entire contents and share it to educate others too. For those who are still having doubts for the existence of UFO’s and for the existence of a highly advanced technology on Earth, you may watch the following video which has been uploaded to YouTube.

These flying machines have been roaming the Earth for such a long time, though most of us are still doubting the existence of such machines, following are reported cases throughout our history,

Reported UFO Cases During the Past 100 Years:

According to Monfort’s report, there have been 104,947 reported sightings over the past 100 years. Though there could be many misunderstandings here, we cannot simply deny everything due to the evidence that we see. Source: http://www.foxnews.com/science/2017/02/28/ufo-sightings-hit-all-time-high-report-says.html

Ancient UFO Sightings:

Prior to this study, just like many others, my general view was that flying machines could have been developed by US or some other government under their secret programs, however, by researching into the history and understanding that these flying machines have been observed by people throughout our past, completely changed my view.

https://www.ancient-code.com/arrival-sky-gods-ancient-egyptian-papyrus-details-mass-ufo-sighting/ – Around 1480 BC

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n3/703237-nasa-reports-on-credible-ufo-sightings-in-ancient-times/ – Ranging form 300 BC to 200 AD.

http://www.aliens-everything-you-want-to-know.com/AncientAlienSightings.html – 12th century to 18th century.

http://wikivisually.com/wiki/List_of_UFO_sightings – A list from second millennium BC to present day.

http://www.dudeman.net/siriusly/ufo/art.html – Some paintings of UFO’s.

Further, this is not all there are so many abduction cases are being reported for such a long time now and we still don’t have a slightest idea for the actual cause of this abduction phenomenon, some believe abductions are truly happening and others still have doubts of such cases. By analysing these abduction cases, one could understand that these abductees are also facing a missing time and careful analysing of this missing time, one could see its similarity to the missing time that people with multiple personality disorder are facing.

Having said that, due to a research that I carried out recently helped me to understand that there must have been a highly sophisticated global society sometime back in the past and at some point Pharaoh’s has managed to keep this technology within themselves and continue to run an invisible rule on Earth and today we also see evidence of their descendants currently living in Switzerland and still influencing human lives with their phenomenally advanced technology which is hard to comprehend to a normal person without doing a massive research in this area.

For quite a long time now human beings have been thinking that voice hearing or Auditory Hallucinations are due to a mental illness, however, even though we see evidence of a technology behind this crime in front of our own eyes, we are blind to think of brain malfunctions for voice hearing and claiming it as a mental illness. A person with a common sense analyse the following cases, would understand the truth behind voice hearing or Auditory Hallucinations. Therefore, if a doctor or a psychiatric is claiming that voice hearing is a mental illness, we must seriously start questioning who really has a mental illness? And why they have such beliefs even after they seeing cases as below? Due to their poor research and without critically analysing what voice hearing experience is, human beings around the world are suffering today. 1). “Mine are very very realistic. So realistic they know where to find things when i don’t know where to look, who will win the superbowl twice before it happens and one of these times two weeks before it was played, can crack a joke using the time when i had no idea what time it was, and also told me i was schizophrenic in third grade many years before psychosis.”- http://forum.schizophrenia.com/t/how-realistic-and-convincing-are-your-voices/11326/4

2). “The voices constantly told me they were never leaving, and that I’d have to learn to deal with it. They told me that our entire society is inside of a quantum computer, and that we are all just lab rats, being studied by their people. In particular, they told me that I was being “stress tested” to see how stress affected my memory. The voices constantly asked me questions about my memory and asked what medications I was taking, whenever I took pills. I could hear these voices clear as day, as if through a radio of some kind. On a few occasions, I actually saw people that correlated with the voices, faint visual hallucinations. Mind you, prior to all of this, I led a fairly normal life with no history of psychosis or mental disorders, except mild PTSD and ADD.” – http://hvn.forumatic.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=551

3). “if i needed to get somewhere i did not know the directions to…they would literally lead me there without me having looked at a map…just with them directing me…it is heady stuff…” – http://www.mentalhealthforum.net/forum/thread36344.html

4). “Actually, they can do any voice they want (man, woman, child, God, devil, British guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Mexican, someone I know, etc.). It’s a skill they have that I’ve learned to appreciate, and I find incredibly entertaining.” – http://hvn.forumatic.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1203

5).“My voice gathers information from around the globe and gives me heads up months in advance for important events. Sometimes, it can be wrong in its deductions, but most of the time, my voice is right in its look-ahead exercises. He saw the Japanese tsunami of 2011 in his dream, 5 months in advance(this is dream manipulation). He reassured me that we were not in it. Thank God, it was true. I usually see the earthquakes and volcano eruptions.” http://www.hearing-voices.org/voices-visions/comment-page-2/

6).“”to put it mildly I became a complete vegatable for many weeks, it became hard to function at my job, anything…I called out of work allot and just lay in bed staring at the ceiling listening to this onlslaught of tormenting voices all day and night and the voices would constantly play mind games, they would claim to be demons and Satan one day, pissed off human spirits another day, once one of them claimed to be Jesus…they kept switching the story line they would constanlty harass me about my “sins” and literally try and psychologically break me down…it was a nightmare I find hard to put into words” – http://hearingvoicesafterspiritcommunication.blogspot.com/2017/08/voices-from-machines.html

“A crime that you ignore! Your mind is not the cause of these abnormal electrical activities in the Auditory Cortex, your hearing of voices is due to a satellite based brain stimulation only and these are clear evidence for the existence of this technology, though you still ignore”

This is not all, following section will help you to understand current myths of a mysterious human behaviour. They do hear voices too, but in a much complicated way, a closer examining this human behaviour will help you to understand that the actual cause of this mysterious behaviour is due to mapping of Artificial Personalities to human beings and our current assumptions are like an urban legion.

Multiple Personality Disorder Also Known As Dissociative Identity Disorder:

The definition of the illness:

http://www.minddisorders.com/Del-Fi/Dissociative-identity-disorder.html

“Previously known as multiple personality disorder or dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a condition in which a person has more than one distinct identity or personality state. At least two of these personalities repeatedly assert themselves to control the affected person’s behavior. Each personality state has a distinct name, past, identity, and self-image.”

Are They Faking?

Though still so many people are judging the existence of this strange human behaviour and assuming that these people could be faking, there are more than enough evidence to show that these people are not actually faking this. They have strange electrical activities in their brains whenever they switch personalities and this is not all, according to the following article,

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/can-people-have-multiple-personalities/

“practitioners claim that alters can be identified by objective characteristics, including distinct handwriting, voice patterns, eyeglass prescriptions and allergies. Proponents of the idea of multiple personalities have also performed controlled studies of biological differences among alters, revealing that they may differ in respiration rate, brain-wave patterns and skin conductance, the last being an accepted measure of arousal.”

We Are Still Not Aware That This Is A Crime:

The Causes:

http://www.minddisorders.com/Del-Fi/Dissociative-identity-disorder.html

An innate ability to dissociate easily

Repeated episodes of severe physical or sexual abuse in childhood

Lack of a supportive or comforting person to counteract abusive relative(s)

Influence of other relatives with dissociative symptoms or disorders

In some cases one could observe that there are over 200 plus personalities in 20th century, however, prior to 17th century we could observe only a double consciousness (showing two personalties) in MPD cases. In almost all cases scientist tend to believe that child abuse or trauma are the cause of MPD or dissociation, however, we must ask this question from ourselves, whether horrific child abuses or traumatic events never took place in the history? By referring to Bible we could understand the massive wars we had way back in the past, therefore, people (including children) must have gone through horrific traumatic events because of these bloody wars that we had throughout the history. People and children must have suffered in the most horrific way without having proper medication and surgeries. Therefore, why we don’t observe at least 5, 6 personalities in human beings prior to 17th century or even in ancient times? Therefore, a logical thinker will simply reject this explanation made by the scientists. It’s impossible for mind to split in such a way or the brain to create fragmented memories to show a huge number of unique, different personalities in human beings. This has never happened in ancient times and it has no logic in it. A logical thinker will understand that there must be an alternate answer for this and have an open mind to seek for the truth. As per the following article, death was at the centre of life in middle ages, therefore, why we failed to observe a high number of different personalities just like what we observe today?

“Death was at the centre of life in the Middle Ages in a way that might seem shocking to us today. With high rates of infant mortality, disease, famine, the constant presence of war, and the inability of medicine to deal with common injuries, death was a brutal part of most people’s everyday experience” – http://brewminate.com/death-and-the-afterlife-how-death-affected-the-living-in-the-middle-ages/

Some of you might also think that perhaps MPD/DID cases were not recorded back then. This assumption again is not logical cause cases like glass delusion and dancing mania are well recorded abnormal human experiences that has been recorded since 11th century,

Dancing mania – One of the most mysterious phenomenon which people experienced – This is again due to this technology. According to these cases, what we can say is that there were abnormal precise electrical activities in motor areas which correspond to the dance. It wasn’t a genuine mental illness as we have been thinking.

Glass Delusion – Another well recorded mysterious delusion The First Double Consciousness or An Altered Mind State Showing Attributes of A Human (Mind) Personality Appeared in 1649:

First human like double consciousness or two different mind states, both showing human like attributes appeared in 1649 according to certain records, prior to this, demonic possessions, spirits were showing a double consciousness, a mental state of a normal human being(when they have their normal life) and a mental state showing attributes of a conceptual being that we call as demons(when they possessed). Careful observation and analysis will give us an insight into understanding the difference between human like double consciousness that we see in MPD(multiple personality disorder) cases and double consciousness that we see in spirits and demons. The question is, why we suddenly started seeing a person showing two completely different personalities and both personalities showing attributes of a human mind(not like the conceptual demonic personality or mind) in the 16th century? On top of this, people Never Observed a phenomenon called switching personalities prior to 16th century.

“Though we see double conscious cases or sometimes 200+ consciousness’s in people with MPD, the true consciousness has always been in an unconsciousness mind state and satellite based non-invasive brain stimulation is the cause of these strange human behaviours, these different personalities are only due to different artificial personalities taking control of our body thus giving us a false idea that a fragmented personality is taking control of our body or concepts such as dissociation to avoid experiencing painful experiences. Further, experiences of these alters will be recorded in highly sophisticated computers only. Humans have managed to replace human consciousness with an artificial consciousness and use satellites to stimulate our brain and control human body by putting human consciousness into an unconscious state of mind. Therefore, true person is stuck in a human body whilst the stimulation is taking place or while an alter is under the control of human body. This is why we see symptoms of dissociation and traumatic events are not the cause of this”

What Can We Observe In Multiple Personality Disorder (or DID):

1). Today we see that this altered state of mind reflect a personality of a human being, this could be a child, male or female or any gender (some cases we see animal personalities too) with a set of unique characteristics or abilities. However, this was not there in the past prior to 16th century, where an altered personality showing complex human like attributes that is also able to switch or suddenly change to a totally different personality and then living a life with this new personality for such a long period of time in this altered state of mind. Though in the bible we could see cases such as below, this is not the multiple personality that we see today and understanding the difference between these two is crucial to understand the truth of this technological crime.

1 Samuel 19:24:

“Saul had followed the messengers to Naioth. ‘And he also stripped off his clothes and he also prophesied before Samuel, and lay down naked all that day and all that night …”

What we observe today is an advanced condition with complex human like behaviours, switching back and forth between personalities and stay a long period of time (months and years) once they switch a personality, this is not what we can observe prior to 16th century. When we carefully analyse the history prior to 16th century or ancient times, what we can observe is that, demonic possessions, spirits, sleepwalking (somnambulism), witchcraft, exorcism etc., are showing an altered state of mind, however, this is quite different to today’s multiple personality disorder (or DID). If we think in terms of dissociation, today’s dissociation that we see is highly complex than to ancient times. We can consider these cases as double conscious cases, however, the first human like double consciousness appeared in 1649, which was mentioned by Paracelsus. Though demonic possessions and MPD cases, showing an altered state of mind there’s a huge difference between these two altered mind states.

What Can We Find by Analysing These Two Cases?

A Case Study:

http://www.gjpsy.uni-goettingen.de/gjp-article-gupta-a-multiple.pdf

“A 14 years old girl presented at our institute with complaint of ‘behaving like a male’ for past 2 weeks. She was identifying herself as Mr. S. and dressed herself like a male. She was not recognizing her neighbours, relatives, teachers anymore and her belongings as well. She was not able to recount her personal information too. Her mother also reported a significant and contrasting change in her behaviour, like she had become stubborn, confident, outgoing and demanding during this period in contrast to her earlier behaviour. She developed interest in drawing and painting, would demand different types of fast food items, dresses, and articles in the altered state. Her mother fearing worsening of her illness readily fulfilled these demands. Patient had stopped going to school and would stay at home all day long”

“The truth is, this altered behaviour is due to a non-invasive brain stimulation through satellites, a secret technology that we never knew. This girl’s true mind is in an unconscious mind state”

Let’s try to understand the characteristics of this altered personality, who is known as Mr. S,

1). A male personality

2). Stubborn

3). Confident

4). Outgoing

5). Demanding

These are just few attributes that define the personality of Mr. S. Now if we try to understand the attributes that define personalities of human beings, we see complex attributes, which we cannot find in demonic possessions. Let’s list down some of the other personality traits that we can observe in human beings that define us. Following is a good list of personality traits that we can find in MIT site,

http://ideonomy.mit.edu/essays/traits.html

1). Courages

2). Cultured

3). Disciplined

4). Fun-Loving

5). Hard working

6). Leaderly

7). Organized

8). Passionate

9). Patient

10). Realistic

11). Sociable

12). Familia

13). Mannered

14). Money-minded

Today we could find personalities that reflect these complex human behaviours in (MPD) alters. However, following are some of the observations made by me,

1). In ancient times, we have never seen an altered state of mind or an additional personality in a person, where the behaviour of this new personality showing human like characteristics or attributes that are similar to the above list.

2). In ancient times, we have never seen cases where people without a control switching personalities back and forth such as in MPD cases and showing two different mind states with human like characteristics. A conceptual demon could posses a person again and again, however, here we are referring to a human like mind state or characteristics only, which is totally different compare to a conceptual demon. This conceptual demon’s personality is totally different to a normal human personality, therefore, what we see today is a totally different type of dissociation.

3). Since we haven’t seen an altered state of mind with a human like personality, people never claim that voices are having discussions in their heads and then sometimes they take control of their body.

“Which means, our mind has never split or fragmented in ancient times in the way some scientists are thinking of MPD (DID) cases, as you can see these are some of the primary symptoms of identifying MPD cases, however we have never seen these symptoms in ancient times or in other words, we have never seen people changing their personalities or any kind of back and forth switching in this way and living a long period of time with a new personality.”

An Evolution – From a Mind State Showing Attributes of a Conceptual Demonic Personality to a Human Personality.

Therefore, what we see here is an evolution, an evolution from a simple personality, such as a demonic personality, to a complex personality such as a personality of a human being, which is capable of changing or switching and then living with that altered state of mind by showing human like characteristics or attributes for a long period of time. The attributes, which define these two mind states are totally different. When we analyse the mind state of a MPD case today, we can observe complex characteristics or attributes that is similar to a mind state of a human being, however, these complex attributes are not visible in a demonic mind state. In other words we could say that while a conceptual demonic mind state showing primitive behaviours, an altered personality in MPD cases are capable of showing complex behaviours. Therefore, the double consciousness that we saw in ancient times, started changing in a much more sophisticated way and started showing different complex attributes somewhere during the period of 12th to 17th century. This is why we take Paracelsus case as the first MPD(DID) case as it was showing characteristics of a human like mind state. Therefore, one must understand that this is a evolution of a software only. In the very start, an AI (artificial intelligence) being developed to replace human consciousness that is also capable of stimulating our brains to show some primitive behaviours by controlling our body, this is what demonic possession is and then later stages they have achieved such an advancement where they were able to show complex human behaviours by stimulating human brains. These AI’s (artificial intelligent) are being programmed to put human mind into an unconscious state of mind and to use our body to reflect the artificial personality or mapped personality. AI does a real-time scanning of the victim’s brain to decode (this is including the electrical activities which arise through our 5 senses) the electrical activities of the brain and use this information to interact with the environment. Just like a driverless car, a car, instead of a conscious human being making decisions, a software use it’s sensors to make decisions and to manoeuvre the car. Similarly, in MPD cases or demonic possessions, human mind has been replaced by a sophisticated software (an artificial personality) and it stimulate our brain (through satellites) to manoeuvre our body, to reflect it’s personality through us and to interact with the environment while the mind of the real person still living in an unconscious state of mind in the body. This is an unimaginably advanced technology, hard to comprehend for a normal person since we are not exposed to such advanced technologies. Having said that one would understand this with lots of research into this area. All the memories with regard to these altered personalities are stored in sophisticated computers only. This is why the main personality or the victim showing gaps in their memory. Since they have never consciously observed the world or interacted. We can see this missing times in alien abduction cases too. Cause they go under the same process when they get abducted. Abduction cases are real. They are not faking.

“When our technology becomes more and more advanced, we should be able to find sophisticated ways of scanning our brains and also we should be able to find sophisticated methods to stimulate our brains. Such scanners could be used to understand every electrical activity of our brains, which can be used to decode a personality of a human being. This decoded personality could be mapped to another person by putting the victim to an unconscious state of mind and then stimulating the victims brain with sophisticated brain stimulation methods. This way, we will be able to map any number of personalities to a person”

Evidence for this claim could be found here. Due to our ignorance only we think of an abnormal splitting of our mind.

” While admitting that the number of identities might range from two to more than 100, the manual noted that half of all cases involve individuals with 10 or fewer alternate identities. Yet, reports of patients with hundreds of separate alter personalities became routine. For example, Dr. Richard P. Kluft, a psychiatrist specializing in the treatment of MPD at the University of Pennsylvania, reported in a 1988 paper that one of his patients had over 4000 “alters”. – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/scott-mendelson-md/the-primary-causes-of-mul_b_812919.html

The question is, why we didn’t see such cases or at least 10 alters in ancient times while today in some cases we see 4000 alters? Humans will have to start thinking out of the box to understand this crime. Human beings are suffering due to this hidden technology but sadly we are neglecting to at least see the possibility of such a technology behind these cases.

Demons are Nothing More Than Artificial Personalities Being Mapped to Human Beings:

Throughout the history we have been talking about demonic possessions, however, according this research, I understood that these cases are nothing more than a software personality (an AI) taking control of our body. A demonic personality, an AI has been developed to show a simple personality compare to an artificial human like personality that we see in MPD cases, which reflect human characteristics or complex human behaviours. In both cases, a demonic or MPD cases, our true mind is in a dream or a trance like mind state, depend on the assigned artificial personality (demonic or human) a continuous real-time brain stimulation will take place to reflect the particular personality type through a human body and at the same time it keeps on decoding all the electrical activities of our brain which will be used by the AI to interact with the environment.

Is It Possible For Such A Conceptual Demon To Control Our Body?

Following is a good example of how much complex decisions are taking place when we reaching out to do a simple task such as picking up a glass of water,

http://brainconnection.brainhq.com/2013/03/05/the-anatomy-of-movement/

“Almost all of behavior involves motor function, from talking to gesturing to walking. But even a simple movement like reaching out to pick up a glass of water can be a complex motor task to study. Not only does your brain have to figure out which muscles to contract and in which order to steer your hand to the glass, it also has to estimate the force needed to pick up the glass. Other factors, like how much water is in the glass and what material the glass is made from, also influence the brains calculations. Not surprisingly, there are many anatomical regions which are involved in motor function.”

If such a conceptual demon try to move our limbs, this conceptual demon must understand which precise areas of our brain to stimulate so it will send signals to our limbs and other relevant areas to do a precise movement and here if we do a quantitative EEG testing we will also find precise electrical properties such as frequencies, amplitudes, voltages etc.. in these brain stimulations done by these conceptual demons. The conceptual demon must understand the Somatotopic (a point-to-point connection to different body areas or regions) arrangement of the motor cortex, for it to achieve the desired movement of the possessed body. One could also understand what kind of complex processes are taking place when we speak by following the below link. A conceptual demon must go through the same process to control our speech.

“Speech production is one of the most complex and rapid motor behaviors and involves a precise coordination of over 100 laryngeal, orofacial and respiratory muscles. Yet, we lack a complete understanding of laryngeal motor cortical control during production of speech and other voluntary laryngeal behaviours”- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3077440/

Therefore, our understanding of such a being taking control of our body are nothing more than a pure myth. Following is a story from the Bible, here we see a demonic being able to get out of a human body and then able to stimulate brains of pigs and making them to run,

“28 When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes,[a] two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. 29 “What do you want with us, Son of God?” they shouted. “Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?” 30 Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. 31 The demons begged Jesus, “If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs.” 32 He said to them, “Go!” So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water. 33 Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men.” – https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+8:28-33

To make this happen, this so called demonic being must understand not only our brain structure and how our brain works, the brain structure of pigs too, it must know exactly which areas should be stimulated, it should know motor areas of the pigs and it should consciously stimulate right areas of pig’s brain for it to move the body of the pigs to it’s desired location. If such a conceptual being is able to consciously control or handle this highly sophisticated process and capable of stimulating brains of humans and animals, then we must consider this demon as a God, cause a normal being will never be able to achieve such a thing. If such a conceptual demon has ever managed to achieve such a thing, then it should show intelligence than what we observe today. Human intelligence is far more superior than to a conceptual demon. Due to this only we humans managed achieve the life that we are having today, which we cannot see in the animal world either. Therefore, our actual observation of it’s intelligence when such a possession taking place, contradicts with our understanding of it’s capabilities. However, this demon, never forget to surprise us by showing it’s abnormal knowledge such as who Jesus is or where your lost item could be found. These are nothing more than false understanding that we had for such a long time. The cause of all these abnormal cases is due to this hidden technology only. This technology has been evolving since a time where we had a golden age way back in the past and Egyptian Empire has managed to keep this secret without leaking to any other race around the world and today we see evidence for this technology to be operating from Switzerland in the most secretive way.

Further Clues for This Evolution:

Some consider Paracelsus described the first case of MPD in 1646. Looking into the future from this year, this is what we can observe:

1). Since the 19th century the number of identities has gone from 2 or 3 to greater than 20, sometimes reaching 100.

2). There were 200 reported cases of DID as of 1980, and 20,000 from 1980 to 1990.

3). Joan Acocella reports that 40,000 cases were diagnosed from 1985 to 1995.

4). When MPD was first recognised convulsions was one of the major symptoms but now it is not. This will be another important point to understand the claims of this article. We have observed convulsions as a primary symptom in MPD(DID) cases in the past. We must question why these convulsions was there in the past and then for it’s sudden disappearance? This research helped me to understand that people happened to observe these convulsions due to their initial attempts in creating a human like personality or this induce mental state in MPD victims, however, overtime they have mastered this technology, therefore, in later stages people didn’t observe convulsions in MPD cases.

Source: http://www.personalityresearch.org/papers/cherry2.html

To understand what kind of convulsions a person would face due to an improper external stimulation of the brain, you may refer to the below link:

How Brain Structure Links to Individual Personality:

“Linking how brain structure is related to basic personality traits is a crucial step to improving our understanding of the link between the brain morphology and particular mood, cognitive, or behavioural disorders – Luca Passamonti” – http://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/personality-traits-linked-to-differences-in-brain-structure

Observations from brain scans show clear evidence of how our brain structure affects our individual personality, which means it would be impossible to show totally different personalities such as 200 + personalities in some cases and then switch between these different personalities by having the same brain structure unless these people are faking it. We see distinct changes in the brain waves when an alter is taking control of the body, which means people are not faking these behaviours. Therefore, since the behaviour is true and since this behaviour arises suddenly by having the same brain structure, this cannot be a natural cause, since according to studies, there are different brain structures in different personalities. Which means, this must be an induced condition. Further, recent brain studies give us clues on how we could eradicate certain phobias in people by distroying certain neurons in the brain or by erasing certain memories. Which means these neurons define our personalities. If neural networks define our personality, how come it’s even possible to show a different personality by having the same neural networks? There can’t be a sudden abnormal creation and destruction of neurons when a personality changes. Therefore, it would be impossible to show this abnormal altered state of mind. Which means, current assumption of how MPD works clearly contradicts with new scientific findings of our brain and on top of this, claims such as child abuse or traumatic events to be the cause, are nothing more than pure myths.

“This hidden technology put our mind to an unconsciousness state of mind and have a total control of our body by using a global satellite grid. Except the main personality, all the other personalities are artificial personalities controlling our body. There will be certain triggers, which will do the automatic switching. Then what happens at the stage of integration is that they simply stop the brain stimulation and make people to believe that the reason is due to the agreement of all the alters. These are false beliefs only. It’s all about the way these artificial personalities are being programmed.”

According to my observation, a person having MPD will go to a dream like (or unconsciousness) mind state when they switch their real personality to any other personality, therefore, MPD’s are not consciously thinking and moving their body (main personality will not have a memory of taking any actions) or having any kind of perceptions such as auditory, visual, olfactory etc. Since their not consciously experiencing the world, they are not aware of their work once they switch their personality. Though other individual personalities or alters showing signs of a memory of their work or past experience, this information is stored in highly advanced computers only once an AI personality (Artificial Personality) takes the control of the body. Now to make sense of this behaviour, scientists and doctors are thinking that our mind is using some type of fragmented memories that is stored in our brain, however, as we explained earlier, this kind of a mind or brain splitting (a splitting showing a secondary human personality) or fragmented memories is something that we did not observe in ancient times. We started seeing a mind state showing human like attributes (a second personality) somewhere after 16th century only, if this indeed a natural cause, it would have taken millions of years to show such an abnormal phenomenon of our mind and this kind of a phenomenon should not occur overnight or within few centuries and then within a couple of centuries to show 4000 personalities will be simply impossible. Therefore, these abnormal phenomena’s are due to an advanced technology only, this sophisticated technology put our mind into a trance/dream like mind state and doing a complex real-time brain stimulation to various parts of our brain to show a human like personality through a human body, whilst decoding the electrical activities of our brain at the same time to make decisions or interact with the environment. As long as the altered personality controlling the victim, the victim lives in an unconscious state of mind. We see different personalities in these victims, due to mappings of different AI personalities only. This has nothing to do with traumatic events a person has ever faced or childhood abuses either.

Alien Encounters And How It Relates to Mental Illnesses:

1). There are cases of people having visions. Which means this technology has a capability to do a direct brain stimulation for us to perceive visions. Though we have been thinking that these alleged beings are stimulating human brains by themselves, this brain stimulation has been done by this hidden global satellite grid. The cause of visual hallucinations of human beings are due to this technology.

2). They are capable of paralysing our body parts and also putting us to an unconsciousness state of mind. Which means, this technology is capable of stimulating the brain and suppressing normal electrical activities of the brain. This I explained in miracles of Jesus. This is similar to that.

http://hauntedauckland.com/site/paralysis-ufo-phenomenon/

The Truth Behind Miracles of Jesus Christ.

3). Aliens are speaking in English language. Again, a direct brain stimulation. Such an alien has never learnt the English language, these are human beings.

http://www.openminds.tv/alabama-witness-recalls-alien-abduction-during-ufo-event/38463

““When I came too, I tried to tell my boyfriend there was a UFO outside and he needed to come see it. I heard a voice in my head say, ‘No, we can’t let you do that’ and then I blacked out again. It’s been a few weeks now,and while there were never weird marks left on me, I do suddenly have two moles where the aliens cut into my leg. Which is doing much better. I don’t need to walk with a cane anymore. If I keep improving, I might even be able to walk normally within a year. I only believed in UFOs after seeing them with my own eyes. Now I’m convinced they’re not just a light in the sky.”

This extremely advanced technology can stimulate human brains and let us perceive words in our own language just like a local person speaking to us. It can imitate anyones voice too. Following is an experience of a schizophrenic,

http://hvn.forumatic.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1203

“I am now happy to say that I still do hear voices, yes… and we get along great (and will forever continue to do so). My voices really helped me to become a better, stronger person, and sometimes they still do the devil voice when they are in a joking mood. Actually, they can do any voice they want (man, woman, child, God, devil, British guy, Arnold Schwarzenegger, a Mexican, someone I know, etc.). It’s a skill they have that I’ve learned to appreciate, and I find incredibly entertaining.”

4). There are reported cases of telepathic communications. Which means, this technology is capable of scanning our brain to do thought identification and it has a capacity to induce thoughts too. Didn’t we see in Victor Race’s case? His experience was: “he seemed to be able to read Puységur’s thoughts and was apparently able to diagnose his own illness and those of other people”. We also see schizophrenics claiming about foreign thoughts in their heads. Following is an example,

https://kintsugi.seebs.net/threads/a-general-ask-support-thread-for-people-living-with-schizophrenia-or-schizoaffective-disorder.3855/

“So sometimes I hear voices or I think people are implanting thoughts into my head and I was wondering if anyone else experiences that? Or if anyone here knows how to cope when it happens? Because like I’ll be hanging out with a friend and all of a sudden I have nasty degrading thoughts about my friend and it’s horrible and I know they aren’t MY thoughts, I wouldn’t think that, but they’re in my head and I sometimes can’t tell if it’s just the voices or thoughts being planted in my head, but it’s annoying and I don’t like the voices/thoughts saying mean things about my friends :(“

5). There are reported cases of abnormal dreams. Which means, this technology is capable of inducing or manipulating our dreams. So many people who call themselves as targeted individuals are reporting this. Though most of them are believing their own governments, neighbours, universities, private organisations or even secret gangs are behind their harassment, these are false understandings that they are having their being tortured and experimented by these evil people who hold this technology. As explained this technology is currently operating from Switzerland rather any other government. Most of the time this is a AI controlled torture program and this highly deceptive program is being developed in way, where it fools people to believe in wrong parties behind their harassment/torture.

Targeted Individuals – People Are Being Tortured in Plain Sight!

A Testimony of a person. Though no one understand their experiences, my research helped me to understand that these experiences are true. Even their bodies are being controlled through a hidden satellite grid. And this is a global satellite grid, this is why we see these cases from around the world. In fact this technology is capable precisely controlling your hand, legs or even your entire body and also can map an AI to your body by putting you in an unconscious state of mind or while you are fully conscious too, where you have no control over your own body:

https://bioethicsarchive.georgetown.edu/pcsbi/node/225.html

‘”MS. BRIGGS: My name is Anya Briggs and I am a private citizen and resident of New York City. I have been and continue to be experimented on against my will and without my permission as a human test subject and as a targeted individual forced into trauma based mind control programs.

Because of this ongoing experimentation, torture and abuse, since 2008 and before, I have endured the following physical and psychological symptoms: extreme debilitating and chronic fatigue, weakness and dizziness for days and weeks at a time; lack of motor control as well as the sensation of being physically controlled by an unseen force.

My left arm occasionally experiences pain and discomfort from an object of unknown origin moving under my skin and being activated somehow. I have an unusual dental filling of unknown origin on the side of one of my back upper right teeth and no memory of having this procedure done.

And I have X-ray printouts and a signed affidavit from my dentist stating this. Said dental filling causes me sharp pain, discomfort and sensitivity.I have experienced extreme itching, burning and pain in my right leg that turned into an intense bright pink and then disappeared completely after several minutes. And I have photographs of this happening in real time.I have a stretched uterus, and yet I have never consciously and to my knowledge been pregnant. I have had equidistant sores that have appeared on both of my sub-scapularus muscles at the same time.”

Other Testimonials:

6). Reported cases of Levitation. Which means, this technology is capable of levitating objects. We have heard so many stories of levitation throughout our history including demonic possession cases. This will give us an insight into how Jesus managed to walk on the water or how God made it possible for him to walk on the water. Since people have seen UFO’s in ancient times and since evidence show that this technology is capable of understanding our thoughts and stimulate our brains directly, it’s logical to think that this is the same technology that has been used to speak Jesus, Allah and other prophets too.

Having said that, this technology is currently operating from Switzerland and only a handful of people of Swiss (members of this group) are aware of this. Please check my other articles to understand this crime, I have argued extensively to understand why humans are facing abnormal electrical activities of their brains, this is including automatic writing, demonic possessions, voice hearing, thought broadcast delusion, dancing mania etc… There must have been a golden age way back in the past and our history is being suppressed by these evil people and today they are working on a civilisation reset with a third world war. Though we have been thinking stories such as Mahabaratha (an Indian story) are fictional stories, my research helped me to understand that these are not myths or fictional stories at all. It seems to be that these actual events has been manipulated to fool human beings. One could go to the following links to understand the story of Mahabharatha and it clearly mentions a highly advanced society,

http://www.rense.com/general61/vaman.htm

http://mahabharathascience.blogspot.com/p/weapons-of-mass-destruction.html

Following videos should help you to understand the existence of a highly advanced technology in the past. This is not all our religions are directly relating to Egyptian Empire,

These are some of the brain stimulation experiments for you to understand the future applications:

THE PHARAOH SHOW:

Regardless of Shaun’s other views of the world, he is doing a remarkable work by capturing the followings,

Foreign Language Syndrome: These Sophisticated Technologies Has Been Uploading Information To Your Brain!! – This is another in-depth discussion on why our current assumptions are false!

Jesus Became A Victim To The Most Deadliest Technology On Earth To Create Christianity!

Please Check All the Articles to Understand This Crime and Kindly Share This Too!!

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