#bad parents are way to common to leave anything being taught up to them

[tanaka-ryunosakes-husband]

can society stop trying to punish people for having bad parents

#don’t tell me something the parents job #parents love to not teach their kids things #they forget common sense it taught #also #i learned how to shower from the internet #because my parents failed to teach me properly #bad parents are way to common to leave anything being taught up to them

[ikozen]

NEVER TRUST A FOX

pairing: hybrid!fox choi jiung x innocent!hybrid bunny fem reader

word count: 2.8k words

synopsis: the universe has unexpected ways of bringing you things you never thought you’d need in your life, one of them being a conniving hybrid fox named choi jiung who could devour you at any moment.

warnings: fluff, dom!choi jiung, sub!fem reader, marking/biting, oral(f.receiving), face riding, fingering, pet names(baby, little one, bad bunny, little bunny), mentions of blood and patching up a wound, mentions of jiung in rut, breeding kink, making out, unprotected sex, slight dirty talking, intense orgasm, slight hand job

a/n: i saw a picture of orange-haired jiung with fox ears from piwon fan sign event that was held for their recent comeback and I’ve just been so obsessed that I needed to write this!!

hybrids weren’t a common thing in your area. after all, you lived in the woods which were very secluded, so there weren't many of your species around.

your home was surrounded by the smell of cookies. god you couldn’t wait till they were done to indulge on cookies with ice cream. out of the corner of your eye you saw a figure zoom past your kitchen window. maybe it was a bird you thought. they did surround your house a lot.

just as you were about to dismiss the thought your ears picked up on groaning outside of your window. someone being in the middle of the woods was strange as you lived by yourself and not many people would venture out where you lived.

taking off your apron and throwing it on the counter, you rush towards your door to see who or what made that sound. you were shocked, it was a fox hybrid who had a puncture wound on his leg with blood seeping onto your flowers. you would be mad about the blood and damage done to your flowers, but it didn’t matter when you had someone hurt near your house.

his ragged breath only made you come closer to him, reaching your hand out in his direction. the hybrid fox bared his fangs as a sign for you not to step any closer, heeding his warning. you were hesitant, but you would feel horrible if you left him here to bleed on your delicate flowers.

“I’m only trying to h-help you.” you voiced with slight fear in your voice.

“don’t you know I could eat you right now, little one? don’t test my limits.” the fox warned you hoping you would back down

“I can’t leave you here. it's not right.”

before the fox could even have a chance to protest, you walked towards him, lifting his body slightly and draping his arm around your neck while your other arm held onto his waist to keep him secure. as soon as you were in your house you gently placed him on your floor with his back propped up against your couch. you couldn’t have him staining anything else. running to your bathroom you wash your hands and grab your first aid kit and run back, crouching down in front of the man.

“this might hurt. please stay still.” you saw his ears perk up as he glanced at you

you gently applied pressure on the wound, the fox hissing at the pain of the pressure being applied. you walked to your sink, filling up a cup with water ever so often as you rinsed to wound for 5 minutes making sure to not run the risk of an infection. after you were done you applied the ointment and dressed the wound, making sure that it wasn’t too tight to hurt the poor fox.

as you were putting back everything in your first aid kit and cleaning up, you noticed the fox taking little glances at you.

“haven’t your parents ever taught you to never let a stranger get into your house?” the fox hybrid asked, staring into your black orbs as he came close to your face.

he was close. too close. his orange hair that matched his tail and his fox-like ears with his green orbs piercing into you made you intimidated. his breath fanned your face, making you unable to utter a word.

“you smell good.” the fox closed his eyes inhaling your scent, then later opening them back up to stare back in your black orbs, reaching up and cupping your cheek

“i-it must be my cookies.” you shyed away from the fox’s touch.

“hmm, i don’t think it’s the cookies. what are you” the later demanded.

you didn’t want to tell a predatory animal that you were a bunny. if there was any other reason to be afraid of helping the fox, it’s that he can devour you in any instance.

“so you’re not gonna open that pretty little mouth of yours?” the fox asked, giving you a devilish grin showing off his fangs.

“i’m just someone who can’t turn a blind eye to someone bleeding on my flowers. you’re welcome by the way.”

“thank you.” the fox uttered

“what’s your name? it’s only right i know the name of the person i saved.”

“jiung.”

“so jiung, how did you get a-”

“you know you ask too many questions.” you were cut off as the fox looked at you judgingly

you raised both your hands up as if you were caught, saying sorry for the many questions. you had offered for the fox to stay with you for as long as he needed to recover, but he kept protesting saying he’s able to go home. making an injured person walk back on the same leg that is wounded would eat you up at night. so you demanded for jiung to stay, bargaining that you would do anything if he were to stay and let his wound heal. of course he accepted your request.

living with jiung was fun. you never knew you needed company in your house to make your life even more brighter than it already was. you never really had anyone to talk to as you lived in the woods alone, but jiung made up for the company that you never had.

“ji, do you want cupcakes?” you yelled hoping jiung would hear you from the kitchen.

apparently he didn’t. you did hear him yell back. opening the cupboard, you grabbed white icing and red and pink sprinkles. you felt a presence behind you as you were caged in by jiung.

“I called your name asking if you wanted cupcakes, but you didn’t answer and take it easy on the foot.”

“foxes heal fast. I’m able to walk around properly.” the fox said rest his chin on your head.

the hybrid fox was keen on helping you out but you should have known his term of helping out would be to keep sticking his fingers in the icing as you tried to decorate the cupcakes.

“ji, you keep sticking the finger that you licked back in the icing. that’s nasty.” scrunching up your face at his nasty behavior.

“it’s only us eating so that shouldn’t matter.” jiung licked his finger while staring at your brown orbs.

jiung has been really touchy lately. you couldn’t tell if this is how he normally is, as you really don’t know him that well, but he’s been leaving light touches on your skin and teasing you a lot. it’s better having him around than having no company at all.

cleaning up the mess that was made in the kitchen, mostly by jiung, you suggested if you two could watch a movie together. it then turned into a full blown argument as you argued that watching the bratz series was better than watching the whole marvel series. jiung hated your horrible take and grabbed the remote out of your hand putting on deadpool. you didn’t hate the idea of watching any marvel movies with jiung, but you wished he watched the bratz series with you. there wasn’t a point in arguing anymore.

you grabbed the blanket on the side of the couch, wrapping yourself up to keep warm. maybe you did have a horrible take as you realized that the marvel series was better than the bratz series. you could see in the corner of your eyes jiung smiling at the screen. he looked so handsome to you. but baking all day was making you tired. you hated how your eyes were betraying you, slowly closing as you went to sleep.

“hmm?” you heard groaning and heavy panting as you woke up from your sleep. you forgot you fell asleep on the couch next to jiung.

“ji?” you turned your head towards the direction you heard the panting, darkness only welcoming you.

“ji..” it was silent.

you could have sworn that you heard a noise. pulling the covers off you you you walk towards the light, immediately turning it on only to be shown with an anxious jiung.

“ji are you okay? is it your leg?” examining his leg to see if his wound might have been infected or bleeding, but jiung grabs your hand telling you through gritted teeth it’s not his leg.

“t-then what’s wrong..”

“you know,” he said, grabbing your hand and bringing it to his lips. “you smell really good.”

jiung’s sudden act and compliment caught you off guard, turning your head away to hide your flustered state.

“jiung it’s late. let’s go to sleep.”

“but i’m not tired.” jiung grinned.

motioning for you to come closer, you walk towards jiung only to be pulled on his lap with his hands wrapped around your frame. light kisses were pressed on the back of your neck making you squirm in his grasp. there was something different about jiung. he has never crossed the line like this. then it clicked. it must have been his rut

“ji, we can’t do this. you’re in your rut.” you attempted to loosen his grip off of you.

“why?” placing open mouth kisses on the back of your neck. “i’ll make you feel good.” he continued his kisses while using his thumb to circle your exposed stomach.

the little sentence made your arousal pool between your legs. the kisses on your soft skin made you aroused as your light brown tail and bunny ears popped out, no longer hiding your true identity.

“so you’re a bunny. no wonder why you smelled so good.” jiung said, kissing behind your ear. “you’re so wet just from me kissing you. you’re such a bad bunny, little one.”

“I wonder if you taste as good as you smell. you’ll let me have a little taste won’t you?” jiung asked behind your back, licking your bare neck like he wanted to mark you.

only soft whimpers could be heard in the room. you never wanted someone as bad as you wanted jiung.

“I need words baby.” jiung turned you around, grabbing your face, turning you to look at him. his eyes became darker as lust casted over them.

“y-yes” you whispered

the confirmation was all jiung needed as he dove in kissing your lips. the kiss felt needy as if jiung was going to lose you. deepening the kiss, jiungs tongue danced around in your mouth, asserting his dominance. he imagined that your sweet mouth tasted just as good as your pussy, only making him want you more. pulling back from the kiss you’re a panting and flustered mess.

jiung proceeded to leave open mouth kisses on your shoulder and neck, biting down every once in a while as his fangs slightly tore into your skin, drawing blood. you looked so beautiful whining under him. he only wanted to make you a mess. trailing open mouth kisses down to your core, jiung looked at you through his lashes as he licked a long stripe of your cloth pussy.

he could taste your arousal on your panties, the sudden contact making you slightly jump. it only made him more needy for you. the cloth that separated him and your pussy only caused his patience to run thin. he needed to have his mouth on your pussy. you heard a tearing sound and to your shock jiung had torn off your panties, muttering that it was in the way as he bent back down, flattening his tongue on your pussy and taking a long stripe, savoring your taste.

“ji-jiung, fuck! mhmm” you moaned out at the pleasurable feeling. jiung was hooked on how you tasted. your sweet scent continually filled his nose ever since he met you, but now, he can’t get enough of how your sweet pussy tasted.

“baby you taste so good. be a good little bunny and ride my face for me, hmm?” jiung looked up to you through hooded eyes as he sucked on your clit.

you watched jiung lay down on the couch waiting for you. scooting close to his face, you were hesitant to sit down on his face.

“is this good jiu-” a loud moan escaped your lips. jiung continued to eat you out while wrapping his lips around your clit once a while. your pretty moans filled the room making jiung even harder, as the bulge in his pants wanted to be released. you wanted more friction and you were desperate for it, rocking your hips back and forth. it didn’t matter to jiung if you used his face to get off, he was having fun seeing you desperate for him.

“o-oh jiung, i’m gonna, mhmm cum.”

“be a good little bunny and cum for me.” jiung told you through muffled groans.

instering 2 fingers in your sopping wet pussy, jiung continued to fuck you with his fingers until you came and to his surprise your legs were shaking as you had just came on his fingers with a loud moan exiting your lips. taking his fingers out, jiung licked at your hole tasting the rest of your release.

“you taste just as good as you smell”

“taste yourself baby.” opening your mouth, you comply with jiungs request, closing your mouth around his digits and twirling your tongue on his fingers. jiung dove right back into your lips, licking your lips for permission. you denied it causing him to growl against your lips and bite, tearing your skin slightly and releasing blood.

you hissed from the pain slightly opening your lips to tell jiung it hurts, but he took the opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth tasting your release on your tongue. you tasted sweet, more than he could have. jiung wanted more of you until your love was unbearable for him to take.

“baby you see how hard you're making me and all I did was eat your pretty little pussy.” all you could do was moan back into the kiss.

jiung pulled away from the kiss, pulling his pants down with his boxers as his dick sprang out with precum leaking from his tip.

“it’s so..” your breath hitched “its so pretty.” you were in amazement with jiung’s pretty dick.

you wrapped your hand around jiung’s dick pumping him. you watched his face contour in pleasure with your hands working a steady pace on his dick. running the tip of your finger on his tip, a hiss escapes his lip. his green sharp eyes looking at you making you feel intimidated.

“you’ll be a good little bunny and take me won’t you?” jiung pushed your back on the plush couch, towering over you.

“yes.” you whimpered

grabbing his dick, jiung teased your entrance earning a whimper for you. you pushed your hips against jiung’s dick hoping that you could insert him in yourself.

“since you’re so desperate for my dick i’ll fuck you real good.” jiung pushed down on your hips to keep you in place. you looked so cute to him, desperate to have his dick buried inside of you.

a loud moan erupted from you as you grasped on jiung’s arms for support. the intrusion of jiung’s dick caught you off guard, his fat dick making your feel so full. “ouu, jiung you’re so.. so big!” pleasure overwhelming you as jiung pounded into you at an insane rate. your moans were music to his ears, but jiung wanted to taste you again, dipping his head down and eating your moans.

“you shouldn’t have taken me in when you first saw me. you should have known not to trust a fox. now your pretty pussy is wrapped around the dick of the same man who wanted to devour you.” you could only moan out in response due to jiung relentless attack at your g-spot.

jiung took your clit in between his fingers, rubbing it in a fast circular motion, watching as your tongue lolled out of your mouth from the pleasure. his animalistic urges wanted to devour you, mark your skin and make you his mate. he wanted to fuck you all day and see your cry from pleasure, bringing you orgasm after orgasm while you struggled to take him. he wanted to make you his.

“f-fuck, jiung please.”

“You’ll take my cum as I breed your pussy right?”

“yes, yes i nghh will ji.”

rubbing your clit faster, you came on jiung’s dick, screaming out his name at your intense orgasm. soon after, jiung came in you muttering curses under his breath, riding out his high with a few more thrust. he pulled out watching his cum drip from your pussy and onto the couch, grinning from the mess he made.

“come on baby, let’s go wash up.” jiung peppered your face with kisses and picked you up, carrying you to the bathroom.

“so does this mean we’re together?” you fidgeted with your fingers. a laugh erupted from jiung, telling you that he couldn’t be more than happy to be with you.

tags: @scarfac3 @miucries @yeagersex @ilwonuu @thestarry-nights @haechansbbg + comment if you want to be added♡

#. 𖦹 ikozen ݁ ˖ #piwon #p1harmony #jiung #choi jiung #p1h jiung #jiung smut #choi jiung smut #fluff #smut #p1harmony x reader #choi jiung x fem reader #kpop x fem reader #kpop smut #hybrid #hybrid fox #hybrid bunny

[running-with-the-feels]

I have returned! With Liu Kang headcanons in tow! Also, this is reallyyy long so no pressure to give an in-depth response.

Liu Kang was born in a small village in Henan Province, China. Due to the small size of the village, home births were common with the only doctor being the local healer. His mother experienced complications while birthing him and ended up dying, leaving his father to raise him alone. His parents had already been struggling with poverty before but now that his mother was gone his father had less time to work. Forcing him to choose between work or raising his son, his father chose to care for him.

Kang’s father was a kind man, the kind to give the clothes off his own back away even if he needed them more. He taught him everything he knew. How to forge and prepare food, how to read and write, the best way to clean, how to fix problems around the house. Have a leak? Don’t know if this mushroom is edible? Liu Kang can help! While he knows the basics of how to do these things he is far from a professional.

Eventually, this caught up to him as he had gotten food poisoning from the rotten food, having given the fresh food to Kang. He died when Kang was six. He buried his father next to his mother in the backyard with a wooden stake as a gravestone.

He lived alone for a little over a year before a Shaolin monk passing through town saw no one cared for him and asked if he wanted to come to the monastery. After some convincing (a promise and deal with the village that his home wouldn’t be touched) he agreed.

Kung Lao is a year older than him, being 8 while Kang was 7 when they met. Lao was ecstatic to have someone around his age around and quickly befriended him.

Kang, despite having what he assumed was a normal upbringing, had a lot of unresolved trauma (mostly from his year alone) and didn’t know how to properly navigate social situations. He had unknowingly internalized a lot of his father’s bad behaviors, especially his self-sacrificial tendencies.

Lao being a fairly normal child didn’t realize this and just thought he was a bit strange and quiet. Constantly asking if Liu Kang was going to finish his food Kang, not wanting to disappoint his new friend, would give him what he had. This came to a head when Liu Kang fainted from lack of nutrition and Lao was thoroughly chewed out by a medic for taking food from an obviously malnourished kid.

Liu Kang has stunted growth as an adult only standing 5"6' when he should be around 5"8'. While short, he is very broad. Broader than Kuai Liang despite being a good amount of inches shorter.

He awakened his pyromancy when he was 10 while sparring (read: play fighting) with Kung Lao. Lao had just gotten the upper hand and Kang, in a panic, grabbed his wrist, and the next thing they knew Lao was screaming and clutching his burnt wrist. He got bandaged by a medic and promised Kang he wasn't scared of him and that "a little fire" wouldn't change anything. Even going as far as to encourage Kang to use fire against him.

Kung Lao looks at the burn fondly now, jokingly calling it the one time Liu Kang didn't pull his punches against him.

While both are pyromancy, Liu Kang and Hanzo's fire work very differently. Kang's fire is genetic and is closer to cryomancy in function (but, like with fire instead of ice). Unlike Hanzo, Kang can be burned (though he has a massive resistance) in the same way cryomancers can get frostbite. Also his magic naturally settles in his lower stomach while Hanzo's sits in his chest.

If I were to describe Liu Kang in one word it'd be repressed. He doesn't want to burden others with his feelings and is more than happy to never talk about it. Only ever talking about it once with Lao when they were preteens. And that was because it slipped out, not because he genuinely wanted to breach the topic. He's gotten better with age, but whenever his feelings are singled out he shuts down.

He doesn't believe he should be selfish (even though it's not selfish) and should be grateful for what he has. His father raised him to be grateful and the Shaolin taught him similarly, acting selfishly would be like spitting on their faces. He needs to be grateful to those who helped him, lest they throw him back on the streets.

And that's where the people-pleasing, self-destructive, and sacrificial tendencies come from! I'm moving onto happier headcanons now :)

He has a competitive streak, not that he'll admit it. And not many realize it. Johnny, none the wiser, challenged him to a cook off and Liu Kang took that seriously. An entire event was made with Earthrealm's defenders to judge the food. Honestly, the food was so good it just turned into a vote of whether you like Chinese or Italian food more. Kang won.

For the next few months, Liu Kang would give Johnny this look that he could only describe as smug. He thought he was going crazy because he was the only one who noticed it and everyone he told brushed him off because "Liu Kang's not like that". The only one who believed him was Kung Lao because he too had been on the receiving end of Kang's post-competition smugness.

Accidentally encouraged Sonya's kleptomania and was mortified when he realized it.

He secretly loves dirty jokes, but he never makes them unless he's either drunk, the opportunity is too good to pass up, or he's really comfortable with you. Even then it's rare. If the joke itself doesn't get you, the shock of it coming out of his mouth will.

If you think Hanzo has no brain to mouth filter when he's drunk, then Kang's 10x worse. Worse to the point they started a quote book that includes but is not limited to: "I sometimes wish I could get pregnant, I'd like to experience motherhood." "*Lao explaining something* Lao we literally took each other's virginity-" "*Loudly sighs and walks up to Jax, taking his cigar out of his mouth, then proceeding to smoke the stolen cigar as he walks away without a word.*" He is usually dragged home from the party by Kung Lao or Kitana, because, no, they don't need to know about our sex life.

Loves smoking but rarely does it because he knows it's bad for his health. At this point, he's convinced it's a pyromancer thing because the feeling of smoke in his lungs causes his powers to thrum. Prefers to use a pipe as they create less waste.

His type is long, dark haired, round eyed, people of prestigious descent, with bladed weaponry, who are taller than him. Being dangerous is a fun bonus.

This took forever to type and I'm going to bed now, looking forward to your thoughts in the morning <3

ohohohoohohoo yiiiiiiisssssssss

Liu Kang's headband is actually a piece of cloth from one of his mother's clothes that his father gave him to keep her close. He has fully burned ppl for trying to take it from him

Once Kung Lao realized how malnourished and self sacrificing Liu Kang was, he made it his mission to ensure that his friend ate. Lao would steal snacks from the kitchen and hand them to Liu whenever he wasn't paying attention and would also glare at anyone who tried to take food from the younger boy.

Because Liu Kang joined the monastery later than most, it took him a while to catch up to their skill, causing some of the other kids to tease him. Lao, once he learned, started fighting anyone who said a bad word about Liu, leading to them both getting in trouble over it.

It did also lead to their first kiss, with them having gotten in serious trouble after Lao broke a kids arm, so he kept trying to apologize to Liu over it, eventually causing Liu to kiss him to shut him up. As much as Liu Kang dislikes hurting the other monks, he can't deny that it feels nice to have someone so determined to protect him, even from their friends.

Lao is taller than him and consistently gloats about it, but he is also leaner which Liu never fails to point out.

Whenever the two are cuddling in bed, Liu will kiss the burn on Lao's hand as both an apology for it (which Lao always waves off) and an affectionate gesture.

Liu never talks about his feelings, even the positive ones, and it is one of the few things he and Lao fight about, with Lao wanting Liu to be more open so that he can support Liu the way Liu supports him

They also fought when Raiden chose Liu as his champion (and pls someone ask me about my Kung Lao hcs I Beg) bc Lao felt that it was unfair to pick one over the other when they where both equally skilled and Raiden could have easily brought both of them (which would be smarter) and Liu, not wanting the last time he saw Kung Lao to be a fight, kept telling him to trust Raiden's judgement and just refused to engage in the argument.

To this day, they both regret that they parted angry before the tournament, without a goodbye kiss or "I love you"

After finding out about Kitana and Liu having their budding romance, Lao pulled back, thinking he was no longer wanted (man is insecure and he hides that under arrogance) which lead to Liu thinking Lao now hated him for being chosen. They were both pining and miserable for months, leading to Kitana being very confused by the situation and not knowing how to handle it (she's not good at people, she's good at murder)

Kitana and Johnny of all people ended up hanging out and she let slip what was going on and why she was confused by it, leading to Johnny dragging Lao and Liu over to his house for the night and making them sit down and talk, acting as a mediator between them. It took several days but they eventually worked it out and then went to talk to Kitana, leading to them all getting together

Kung Lao and Kitana remained platonic, however, though they did start to get along (I am not married to the idea that Kung Lao and Kitana don't ever also get together, but I do think it would take a looooooong time before they did)(if I wrote a Liulaotana story in that vein, would anyone be interested in that? It wouldn't be any time soon but, yknow, still)

Liu Kang also challenged Jax to an arm wrestling competition and lost, which revealed that he is something of a sore loser. He won't say anything and he'll always be really polite, but then afterwards he's grumpy and throws himself into training for days on end.

On those days, Kung Lao and Kitana will usually team up to pull him out of the training yard and back into bed, helping him work his frustration out in a more productive way.

Loves a good dirty joke and is also shockingly good at dirty talk. Once got Kung Lao off with nothing but his voice and some heavy kissing and he remains smug about that. Kitana refuses to believe that story no matter how much Kung Lao blushes in mortification until Liu does the exact same thing to her.

Not only is there a notebook of Liu's lack of filter, the kombat kids have a gc full of videos of him saying various outrageous shit.

he does enjoy smoking, but Kung Jin got him to try a vape once and he threw up from how much he hated it. Sticks to his pipe after that.

Points out that Kitana and Kung Lao are similar and both his type once and neither of them will speak to him for a week bc of it.

lemme know if you have any more! these are great!

#liu kang #kung lao #kitana #liulao #liulaotana #mortal kombat #mortal kombat x #mortal kombat 11

[butterflypeatea3456]

Soft yan!Rhaenyra x Reader HC

Part 2, Warning: Yandere stuff

Young Rhaenyra was glad to have another girl her age around. It didn’t matter that you came from a smaller house, not known for its wealth, dragons, ships, or land. But from its trade being known to have bred and taught some of the best clothing makers in Westeros. Which is why you traveled all the way to King’s Landing. You had skill in the family craft that no one could deny, taking on larger projects. And your parents were thrilled that you got along so well with the crown princess. So well in fact Viserys welcomed you to stay, noticing his daughter’s joy around you. Her first request was that you modified her gowns and riding tunics. It was an excuse to get to know you more as you spent hours together. Discussing her preference on colors, themes, and fabrics. But really Rhaenyra’s favorite creations of yours were the hand-done embroidery. The effort and uniqueness of each design had her enthralled.

 You spent much time with many people while creating the gowns or suites of their dreams. But none seemed as interested in your craft as Rhaenyra. She’d smile and let you ramble on about all the boring details. Made an effort to get to know you better as well. This daring, charming Targaryen had slowly started to win over your favor. You took joy in making her laugh while taking measurements, then gently scolding her to stay still. And she enjoyed flying you over the ocean on dragon's back. How your arms would tighten around her waist when Syrax flew too fast. Chin resting on her shoulder humming along. 

 Rhaenyra made something in you flutter. So much so that you didn’t notice how your usual clients slowly stopped requesting you. People around the castle that you’d start to become close to would stop speaking to you. Or how not a single man but her guard approached you. However, Rhaenyra felt no guilt in making these things happen. You were her friend, and no one else’s. You promised to stay by her side no matter what, on the nights you both snuck out together. Where she’d lean on you, and let you play with her white locks. But deep down you both knew that one day, your families would arrange for you both to be wed. But not to each other, the men of their choosing. When she was to ascend the throne, Rhaenyra decided that she would make you her personal dressmaker and lady-in-waiting. Your future husband could be ”dealt with” swiftly. And if you had any children by that time she’d adore them, and they’d be given titles and positions in court. She’d hope that they’d be every bit as talented and wonderful as you were. 

 Rhaenyra could not believe the offer Criston made. For him, her, and you to run away to Dorne and live as commoners. To leave your family, the throne, and everything behind. Without even considering the possibility that another arrangement could be made. But no, he just couldn’t set his pride aside. Even she wasn’t foolish enough to think that you’d just drop your family and craft to run away. Rhaenyra wasn’t going to risk asking. She’d never do anything that could push you away, she wasn’t having that at all. Her feelings for you were becoming too big to hide. The way she held you like a lover when chaos was unfolding at her and Laenor’s wedding. It was a matter of time before people would start catching on, though a few cut tongues could slow the rumors down.   

 However, it didn’t stop your family from worrying about your safety. Especially with your bad habit of jumping right in the middle of conflict. Which is what landed you with a maester stitching up the gash on your shoulder. You were to inherit the business from your uncle and aunt. Since they were not able to conceive a child in their old age. Although you had a younger male cousin, a boy of 4. It would be many years before he could learn the craft and be knowledgeable enough to take over. So you were the obvious choice since no one wanted to wait that long. But that meant leaving one day, leaving Rhaenyra. 

#yandere house of the dragon #yandere hotd #hotd #yandere rhaenyra #rhaenrya x reader #rhaenyra targaryen #ser criston cole #yandere criston cole #ser crispin

[enbysiriusblack]

robin (@lesbianmckinnonn ) recently made a post about james potter, sooo I'm doing one inspired by it, for sirius.

firstly; I'm using they/he for sirius because that's what I hc his pronouns as. this whole post is about my own interpretations and views of sirius as a character, but people can hc what they like!

So the the common interpretation/ view of Sirius is very much dramatic, flamboyant, confident, and very loyal. a lot of this does come from the canon material (boo!), for instance his loyalty is shown in poa, where they say they'd rather die than betray his friends. the way he speaks is very dramatic, and we're shown in the flashbacks they're confident and 'popular' (i put that in inverted commas because although it's a common interpretation of sirius, i don't think of them as popular).

to me, sirius is very much all those things. but there's sort of a double side to some of it? although they're confident and extroverted- they aren't really well liked and popular (in a good way). people know of sirius, but don't really know him. they know their family, they know him in relation to 'the marauders', they know them as the gryffindor beater, they know them as the troublemaker, they know them as the 'good looking one', they know them as the gay cross dresser. people know sirius' family, his gossip, his 'label'. and the other students opinion of them from those labels? wildly unlikeable. sirius is seen as obnoxious, dangerous, scary, conceited, queer. sirius is liked for their looks and his best friend, but is hated for who they are.

as a child, sirius would take blame for things regulus had done as a way to protect the younger boy. at first he wasn't as rebellious, but it more came from wanting to protect regulus from harm. as a kid, sirius was completely disconnected to the rest of the world, only ever seeing family members or friends of the family, only ever reading books his parents allowed. they never went in a muggle area, barely allowed out to shops. they would go from grimmauld place, to their holiday home in france, to his cousin's house, to the ministry, and to ministry or family balls and events. they were seen as a 'problem child' only through being fairly lazy, through not wanting regulus to be harmed by punishments so taking his place, and through being an energetic child. as he started hogwarts, he was full of prejudice. only really coming to the truth through friendship with james, peter, and remus; the three of them (and lily, mary, marlene, mcgonagall, and andromeda a little) taught sirius what was right and wrong, because he didn't know yet.

sirius is very protective of himself and their friends, stemming from having to protect regulus since a young age. the slightest hint of danger or a threat gave sirius such a strong reaction to protect. a hand coming close, a single threat, even a bad grade meant something drastic to sirius whereas the others couldn't see it as a big deal. everything always felt so temporary for him- as if it was up to him to keep them all safe and make sure they stay with him and never leave. but when he got disowned, he felt fully free for the first time in their entire life. but he was still haunted by memories and guilt that it clung to him like shadows that wouldn't leave. so, they got drunk. all the time. constantly. because it was an escape from the thoughts, from the guilt, from the memories. alcohol was freedom. and he clung to it. their friends were previously that symbol of freedom, of escape and understanding. but once he was free and his friends couldn't do anything to stop the after-pain, he found alcohol and practically swapped friendship and companionship for getting drunk (linking into the prank.)

sirius gets a lot of attention for his looks, constantly being asked out and flirted with. and although he accepted quite a few, they find it hard to find an attraction to people without the emotional connection already in place. and as they get older, he goes on fewer and fewer dates, having fewer and fewer relationships (and then dating remus); people made up rumours of them, like making out with him at parties and in classrooms. sirius does absolutely love having a sort of 'bad boy' reputation (in some instances. they hate the fact younger years are often terrified of him at first), they can't stand his made-up reputation of being a player (mary gets given the same reputation, just because they're both attractive people).

last point, sirius' intelligence. they are extremely smart, academically. sirius gets top marks, or close to it, in practically every subject and yet hardly ever studies. tbh like,, never revises. never does his work. they're able to remember everything just by flicking through books and notes and half listening in class. they have a very natural intelligence and doesn't feel the need to work hard- instead devoting time to hobbies, and different skills (like mechanics). however, his emotional intelligence is extremely low. sirius hardly ever knows how they're feeling- and even when they do, he doesn't process that in a healthy manner. they also don't quite understand how society functions, having grown up extremely sheltered and wealthy.

I'm shit at conclusions, so I'll just finish by saying: Sirius is extremely impacted by their upbringing and the people around him. he is given such a specfic reputation (by their classmates), and to some degree wants to fit that and be that- but at the same time wants to escape what they're assumed to be and just... be himself. but he doesn't quite know how. sirius is the brightest star, filled with pressure and struggling not to explode.

#sorry this is so long!! tbh i thought i would write barely anything but ig i can ramble about sirius forever. #literally ive got so much more to say about them in my head #marauders era #marauders #sirius black #sirius black hcs #sirius black headcanons

[ask-the-dweets]

Dwight "Elf" Fairfield

(Known as Dwight in most AUs) Pronouns: He/him Gender: Cis male Sexuality: Demisexual/poly Age: 25 Height: 5'10" (179cm) Time in the fog: 25+ years, he's lost track

Elf's main build: Prove Thyself, Unbreakable, Resilience, Iron Will

His perks are primarily to keep himself running no matter what. If he's up he can help the team, and he'll do his best to carry that team and take the heat if needed.

Elf's other available perks: Elf can use any and all survivor perks!!! but some others he often uses are Dead Hard, Adrenaline, and Decisive Strike

Playstyle: Aggressive He's either working on generators or distracting the killer. He's not one to dick around in a trial. He can act like a completely different person sometimes with how energetic he can be with griefing a killer for it to attack him. You know those really annoying Dwights that will loop you the entire game and be a dick about it? Yeah that’s him.

Favoured item: A flashlight or medkit, though he can find a use for almost anything. And if he can’t he’ll hand it off to another teammate that can use it.

🎄Get to know Elf under the cut! 🎄

Elf’s past is a little muddled to himself at this point, and sometimes past reminiscing from the other Dwights make him confused on which memories are actually his, but:

He didn’t have it very easy, his parents were overbearing and always pushing him into things he didn’t want to do, and places he knew he wasn't suited for being in. It sort of gave him his more detached, distant behaviour. It was also extremely common for him to fail in most outlets of his life or be picked on by others for being a pushover.

This was no different when he finally got a decent job at Peak 22. 

The boss, Lazar, had found Dwight to be a great punching bag for the few months he had worked there. The pay was too good for Dwight to really consider leaving...yet. He could handle it for a while longer until he found something better.

There had been a ‘teambuilding exercise’ that was mandatory for all of the Peak 22 workers to go to, a camping trip. Nobody particularly wanted to be there, including himself. His boss brought out his patented moonshine for the event, bolstering it to be the best of the best. Everyone rolled their eyes, but nobody refused Lazar. They didn’t want to lose their jobs. Dwight isn’t sure if his drink was spiked or if he was just that bad at holding his liquor but either way when he came to, everyone was gone. Probably another one of Lazar’s great pranks, but he never made it back home.

--

5 songs I associate with Elf:

(Warning: This is at the mercy of mod's taste in music :P) Main song: Not Havin a Blast - Demi the Daredevil I'm not a good person - Pat The Bunny People Watching - Air Traffic Controller Every Day is Exactly the Same - Elektrik People Don't Save Me - Chxrlotte

Spotify Playlist (Songs that remind me of Elf, Warning: It's depressing)

Potentially one of the first Dwights in the fog, if not the first

He’s been trapped in the fog longer than he had been alive outside of it and has gone through multiple campfires

His first and longest campfire was with his original crew consisting of most of the older survivors. This is where he had a relationship with Jake, Meg, and Claudette, unfortunately they later faded into the void but somehow he managed to stay for the other survivors still at the campfire

Even now he holds onto friendship bracelets that belonged to them

From his other friends fading he had a brief stint with the Trapper, Evan, too. Who taught him a lot about the killer side of things. Unfortunately it didn't go over well and his campmates no longer trusted him; he was forced to separate himself from Evan and was ostracized from the other survivors for a long time.

It left him bitter.

When Fancy finally came around Elf was nearing the void, but was brought back by the need to help Fancy through the hellscape of the fog

At that point he had been able to have a small rag-tag campfire of other survivors that trusted him

He’s very protective over Fancy and tries to look out for him

At this point Elf is quite jaded and moody, and is generally untrusting of most people and places. It comes from being burned too many times in the fog, and at this point he’s too far gone to bother to make solid connections with other people anymore.

He’s likely to push away or lash out at someone if they try to get close to him, the loneliness and the desperation to be loved is still there but it comes out as anger when he tries to fight it

He’s likely nearing the void again

Though he’s not as approachable or as nice as Fancy he still tries to be friendly, to other survivors, if distant

He has a soft spot for any member of the OG 4

He doesn’t really feel fear properly anymore, if at all

In a trial he is in full work mode and will always calculate how to be the most efficient he can be. Often with the other two Dwights that means he’s on running duty.

He has no regard for his own life and will throw himself in the way for others If he deems it a wise decision for the team, it’s more just going through the motions than for proper regard to the other. 

In trials, Elf can sometimes come off as a completely different person. Energetic, loud, and fiery, whatever he needs to be to get the killer’s attention.

He absolutely HATES the Elf costume, and because of it now he also hates bells. Even jokes about it can put him in a bad mood. He still doesn’t necessarily dislike Christmas, but he does hate it when it is associated with himself.

The sweater is itchy, the bells are annoying, the shoes are inconvenient and uncomfortable, and the tights are... well, tight.

He spaces out on occasion, it rarely happens in trial but it can be rather common at the campfire. He also often falls asleep when he doesn’t mean to.

He’s constantly tired, he used to be fatigued from stress and fear… now it just feels like static. He often thinks he feels numb.

Knows the names of all of the killers (refuses to use them) and is adept in noticing changes in trials/maps

Doesn’t really stutter at all, may stutter if surprised but he’s more likely to freeze up. 

He pauses in his speech when he’s feeling uncomfortable

Nervous habits: He prefers being more closed off from others, covering his chest by folding his arms, slouching forward and generally just looking less approachable

In-Game Reference: Mr. Elf Outfit (Only forced to wear it in trials!! He can wear whatever he wants outside of it!)

His other main outfit he wears often (Designed by @dwhatsup)

He often wears it without the jacket, gloves and beanie

#elf dwight #art of elf #reference #artwork #and that's all of them!!! #lots of secrets being revealed in all of their little descriptions XD #but this blog has been around long enough I think it's fine to share! #and it might give you guys more to be able to ask!

[opinated-user]

I do genuinely believe that LO and her siblings were abused, as it’s a common thread amongst all of their stories, and because I find it hard to believe that someone whose as much of a jerk as Lily came from a happy, supportive household.

Now, I’ve heard of such a phenomenon as the Golden Child/ Scapegoat dichotomy, where abusive parents favor one child and use the other as a punching bag. The purpose of this is not just for the parent’s ego (they can feel like an accomplished parent by punishing one child unfairly and also feel like the fun parent by rewarding the other unfairly) but it’s to pin the kids against each other: the Golden Child will see their sibling as inherently lesser, and the Scapegoat will be jealous of the Golden Child. Meanwhile, any kids who don’t fit into that dichotomy get pushed to the side or forgotten.

(I should note that being the Golden Child does not mean that a kid does not suffer abuse. In fact, they arguably suffer the most insidious type, as it rewards bad behavior and enforces the idea that the child should continue to act entitled and mean into adulthood. Scapegoats, despite receiving the brunt of the abuse, often gain the perspective needed to leave the abusive household and potentially heal from their mistreatment, while the Golden Child, even if they leave, still have those toxic abusive patterns engrained into them as they’ve been taught that nothing is actually wrong.)

It feels to me like Lily was the favorite child, who, while still most definitely being abused, was favored more than her siblings, which meant she got away with bad behavior more often. After all, if her story is true, I can’t picture an abused child turning all of the lights on in her house and wasting electricity and her abusers NOT RETALIATING (her dad and sister both supposedly had to deal with it, but she never mentions being hit or scolded for it). That’s the part of the story that feels the most ridiculous. I’ve heard abused kids receive violent retaliation from abusive parents for WAY less than that. She messes with their money, which she describes as what her dad cares about most, and he just…. let’s her do it??

Also, if Lily was the Golden Child, this puts the story where she beat up her sister into horrifying perspective. It’s likely that neither parents intervened because they both saw the sister as the Scapegoat, and no one stepped into do anything to stop it. There are countless stories of abused kids getting harmed by siblings and the parents either doing nothing or even encouraging it.

I’m not saying that any of this is true, or even that Lily is the favorite (as I can’t make any assumptions about someone’s childhood), but it all felt VERY familiar to me. And if it was the parents’ goal to turn siblings on each other, it clearly worked and Lily is playing into their hands unknowingly (because she doesn’t actually realize how deeply their treatment of her has affected her behavior, because she does not work to undo anything).

it would also fit with what little LO's sister claims about her childhood, that she was abused by both LO and her brother, and despite knowing about it her parents did nothing. if she was the scapegoat kid then anything done to her was "deserved" or it wasn't worth making a fuzz about. this all unproven claims, of course, so i'm not saying either that is what happened, but it's sure noteworthy how LO claims to have done so many things (refusing to do homework, wasting resources, destroying her own room, filling her floor with legos to bother her parents trying to enter the room, etc) and she never once mentions about being punished for it. she talks about being put outside the home for one night, but then she adds that she sneaked inside with her skills of lockpicking anyway (while messing up her times. first she say it was for one night that was her punishment, but then she talks like it was a bunch of nights in which her parents never noticed she was inside so, likely another lie). it could be that, since all those stories are made up, she just puts herself as the winner for ego coping or, if they have any true, she just skips the consequences portion. but whatever the case, because of how she tells her own tales, your conclusion could make sense.

#lily orchard

[strange-aus-and-crossovers]

https://www.tumblr.com/strange-aus-and-crossovers/730385507318726656/if-you-made-a-crypid-au-howd-that-look

ghostbusters AU :)

Here's the AU! I took a long time because I originally wasn't going to include things that were common like dragons, but when I looked into it anything else just was too far out of left field for their personalities to make fit without seriously retconning myths I know very little about. If you want more info, it's under the cut

Ray was born a werewolf, and as such he can shift whenever... Except he can't shift at all on new moons, and he is forced to shift on Full moons. However since his parents died before they could teach him the way of being a natural born werewolf, not only does he not know which side of his family the werewolf comes from, he also has a hard time keeping his cool as he's a self taught shifter... On bad full moons, Winston has to use his magic to assist him in either keeping calm or easing pain

Egon and Elon were born noble in the Victorian era, and on one night, they were attacked by a feral vampire. A group of other vampires saved them but it was too late to reverse the curse. While they are not the first set of twins or even identical twins to be turned, they are the only twins to have kept their original birth age gap. They are only about 200 years deep into being vampires, but they are already incredibly powerful They are in the care of the only Vampire who believes they will not turn into ferals despite their untimely evolution. Elon adapted much easier to the shift in time period, but Egon has had a bit more trouble keeping up. Hence his slightly awkward attitude

Winston is a dragon that was hatched 35,000 years ago and taught humans aren't anything special, and that they suck dragons are the best etc. while he believed it for a while, the more he watched the humans the more he saw how resourceful and smart they were. He absolutely loved humans and thought that is they just had a bit of direction they could do wonderful things. As time went by him and his kin were forced to take human forms and live amongst them. He was always fascinated by humans and for a long while was content yet disappointed by humanity. Still he wanted to protect humans especially from the unseen forces of the myths and supernatural...So in the 1980s... He saw that ad for the Ghostbusters. He was shocked to see that the only true human... Was Janine. With a group of supernatural defenders he was confident he found where he needed to be.

This leaves Peter. Peter was born to human parents but a genetic mutation caused him to be able to morph. With an absent dad and loving mother, she did all the research and found out that her boy had a Doppler mutation. He was technically not a human. However he was her boy and she loved him. Through his life he used his ability sparingly but it was a very useful thing to have. Got him out of being beat up in school, let him take classes a jock couldn't take, and it helped him take care of his mother in her ill days. Still he was content to live a normal life... Until he saw Ray transform... Then while trying to chase him they ran into Egon... Who was trying to keep Ray safe until he calmed from the rampage. From then on Peter gave up that normal life... As he finally met people as funky as he is. His default look is his natural body, but he can switch it to look like anyone humanoid. He still can't transform into animals

They all have different life spans as well. Egon, Elon and Winston are all immortal barring any hunters taking them out. Peter with his mutation will likely love around 250 years, with Ray having the closest thing to a normal human life span. Still it's likely he'll reach 120 before he goes

#ask #my art #Ghostbusters #ghostbusters cryptid au #winston zeddemore #peter venkman #egon spengler #ray stantz

[real-life-cloud]

Hey uhh I vaguely remember reading in your tags somewhere some time maybe long ago that you were homeschooled, do you mind me asking just generally what that was like? Don‘t share if you don‘t want to

Y'know what, sure! I like telling stories and oversharing on the internet tbh. Strap in lol it got long.

Tldr; homeschooling was isolating, it definitely set me back socially. The self paced nature of the work put way too much pressure on me, and now I have terrible choice paralysis and rarely finish a project I start. If you or someone you know is considering homeschooling someone, make sure they know what they're getting into.

A lot of homeschooled kids were put into that kind of schooling because their parents want to monitor them. That's not healthy. I'm sure that's not how it is every time and that there's applications of homeschooling that work for people, but it needs to be done well. Kids need to be properly socialized, supported, and given the privacy they need.

Some background info on why I left public: There was an incident where a teacher yelled at me for no good reason in front of the entire student body during lunch. (I was holding a piece of paper (THAT ANOTHER TEACHER GAVE ME FOR HIM TO SIGN) in the lunchroom which wasn't allowed??) I was EXTREMELY embarrassed and anxious around that teacher from then on. I got moved to a different class so I didn't have to be near him. The guidance counselor was really helpful during the whole thing.

OKAY storytime 📖

"Homeschooling" can mean a couple different things , I did it two different ways at points in my life. I feel like the first thing ppl think of is being taught at home by a tutor or parent, but I wasn't homeschooled in this way. And I was in public school until about 7th grade actually!

However, my mom was super mad, and wanted to talk to the man that yelled at me, but the principal wouldn't let her. They kept giving excuses as to why but the jist was: the guy was an asshole and they knew it. SO mom got fed up with the staff and just pulled me out of public school altogether. It was actually my idea! The thought of seeing that teacher again was so upsetting that I just wanted to leave.

[ I feel like I should also mention that I grew up religious and that it was super common for kids to be homeschooled in my church; you were looked up to for homeschooling your kid bc it "kept them away from bad association" and "gave them more time to devote to god." So my mom didn't really fight me on the suggestion. ]

First, I did cyber school! I was in cyber school from 7th - 10th ish. I was given a laptop that blocked anything fun (but not well, so I zipped right past all the blocks lol) and had online classes. It was similar to how I think school worked during covid? No cameras yet tho, just a teacher on VC with power point slides and a chatroom for students. I was a pretty good student up until this point, but I started barely scraping by a lot of classes and failing others. I think I retook pre algebra 3 times? I passed with a very low D 🫶

And SOME classes were self paced. Those were the Fucking Worst. No teacher, not really. I could technically email a teacher with questions but I was a horribly anxious little 14 yr old so no way was I gonna do that. I remember one year I had a civics class that was self paced and I was so lost and stressed about it that I procrastinated til the entire course had like a week til it was due. And it wasn't just tests, I had to make multiple power points on different topics throughout the course. I had a complete emotional breakdown in front of my mom cause I'd been hiding this from her. I was so afraid she'd be mad, but she helped me finish everything on time. She basically did like half of it for me, bless her. God I hated that class.

So at this point school is going. Kind of really bad. My grades suck and half the time I cheat. I don't really have friends because all I do is sit on my laptop and go to church with my family. I didn't have any contact with my old school friends because they weren't a part of my religion. (Jehovah's Witnesses are super exclusive and cult-y) And teenage me has just realized they're not straight!

Like many isolated, repressed, gay teenagers, I mainly expressed myself online. But a few months after I turned 16, my parents found my secret email account that was connected to all my private social media. It was very apparent I was gay. So I outed myself by accident. They pretty much took away all my access to the internet and started paying super close attention to the media I consumed. I'm just glad they didn't go to our church elders and tell on me for my sins or whatever. Life continued as "normal" with them just. Pretending it didn't happen and hoping and praying that I'd magically turn straight. I actually recently found out that my parents NEVER talked about my sexuality with each other during this stage. They just completely avoided the topic.

[ another note, my entire immediate family is actually out of that religion now, and everybody's cool with the gay thing 🫶 my dad actually told me that my coming out is what made him question some things with our religion. ]

But then it became a question of what I was supposed to do for school. I couldn't be on the Websites That Turn You Gay, but I was also doing bad in school and would be put behind a grade or two. Not to mention I was terribly anxious and hadn't really socialized with people my age for the past 3 or so years.

That's how I started correspondence schooling! Another kind of home schooling. It's exactly what it sounds like. The school sends you books and tests, then you mail back the finished papers to be graded. And you might be thinking, Cloudy didn't you just go over how much you hated the self paced classes in cyber? This sounds just like that but worse! And I would say why yes, anon, I did! Such a good memory!! Gold star for you ⭐

This schooling didn't go great, as you could imagine... I think I finished two classes? This didn't have any time limit, however. So why on earth would I feel any pressure to do anything? Overall it was a giant waste of money. I just kept not doing it! Then life got super crazy, I won't go into detail but it was a rollercoaster of family drama, my mental health being at the worst it ever was, and leaving that religion. And then covid!!!! Everything happens so much 😞

I was so far from my diploma that I gave up on finishing my classes and started focusing on getting my GED. This took me another 2 years lol. I finally got it last summer!! I also landed a new job in the spring after being unemployed for a little over a year. And I just got my driver's license last week! It's taken me a longgggg time but my life is on the roll again. This is probably more than you were asking about but yeah.

#mailbox in the sky #anon #woah there that got long ! #typinv this up took me like an hour #i tried to not get off topic but theres so many converging topics here #homeschooling stuff connects to sexuality stuff which connects to cult stuff which connects to family drama

[loosesodamarble]

Grace and Luck

Summary: Her life wasn't easy. Not once in her life. She overthought and yet didn't think things through. Genre: general, slight angst Word count: ~1000

..........

Carissa Voltia.

A commoner woman with Lightning Magic and bad coping mechanisms. From the day she was born, she had severe anxiety and it was what killed her.

In her youth, her parents told her to suppress her feelings. That she couldn’t rely on others. Everyone was desperate to make their own lives better so Carissa had to do the same. Nobles looked down on commoners and peasants were dangerously envious of them. She was taught to suppress her feelings, ignore the stress until it went away. But the anxiety never went away, not really. But Carissa pretended that it did.

Carissa grew up. Moved out. Tried to live her life. She became a waitress. She was complimented for being so exact with taking orders, for going above and beyond to please patrons. She had just been making sure that there was nothing someone could criticize her for. But even then, she felt like she could've been doing better. She always had to do better.

A handsome noble, the Head of House Roselei, took notice of Carissa one day. He made her feel seen and appreciated. He left the largest tip she'd received in her life. The Head of House Roselei began to visit more. Until he was in once a week for something, anything as small as a tart that he took an hour to finish off. She forgot about her parents’ warnings as she slowly let herself fall for him.

An affair. She freaked out because of course she was going to stress about the repercussions of sleeping with a married man. She left town to avoid a scandal.

Carissa found out she was pregnant. At first, she was afraid. She didn't want that. But while searching for a doctor willing to help her, her mind spiraled as she was afraid of some kind of karmic punishment for killing a child. It was hardly a child but still she feared. Maybe she could've given the child to their father so at least she didn't have to deal with it and the baby could've had a good life.

Carissa overthought and yet didn't think things through.

A son was born. Carissa didn't dare name him yet in case his father wanted him. She went to House Roselei to leave the baby boy. Lord Roselei confronted her at the door.

“No. My Charlotte is the only child I need. Don’t you dare think that I’m going to replace her because of some curse.”

Carissa hadn’t known about any curse. She just had poor timing.

Carissa took her son home. She sat with him a while, watching him smile and laugh innocently.

“My name means ‘grace’ but I don’t think I’ve been shown much in my life. But maybe you’ll be luckier than me. That’ll be your name: Luck.”

At first, life with Luck was tough but fulfilling. Carissa might’ve struggled with work and parenting, but Luck’s precious smile and carefree laugh brightened Carissa’s days. She was happy that he was happy. She told herself that she would never tire of Luck’s laughter.

But eventually, that turned into a lie. Carissa’s job became more demanding once Luck was in school. Her work assumed she could just work more hours now that her boy is in school and “didn’t need her as much.”

She came back from work tired and cranky and overwhelmed. And Luck bounced up to her with a wide grin and excitedly told her what he’d been up to.

Couldn’t Luck see that she was tired? Couldn’t he see that she needed a moment? Couldn’t he look at her and see she needed to be taken care of just like he did?

Carissa ignored it for the time being. Luck was so young. He couldn’t understand nor could he help her the way she needed. But time went on. Carissa managed her job but it still wasn’t easy. And when she came home, no matter how visibly exhausted or distressed, Luck had a smile.

Carissa grew to dislike Luck’s smile. It was so carefree. Like he didn’t care about his own mother. Like he didn’t care about anything. He didn’t get mad when she said she couldn’t cook dinner nor sad when she pushed him away so she could rest. It freaked Carissa out. Concerned her. Stressed her.

Until she snapped at Luck and that ever present smile of his. She ended up spitting venomous words at Luck. At first she didn’t regret it because not even a slap made him react! But then she remembered how that smile comforted her years ago. She almost apologized. But she again thought of how things had changed. Only Luck’s smile had remained the same and that grated on Carissa.

Carissa overthought and yet didn't think things through.

When Luck’s true strength became known, Carissa was proud that her boy was strong. But so afraid because who knew who might try to use his power.

So she told him that he only needed himself. And herself. Win for Mommy and no one else. They would be fine, just the two of them, mother and son. Carissa wanted Luck to avoid anything similar to what she experienced with Lord Roselei.

Carissa worked herself so hard. Taking more shifts at work to support Luck’s education. She taught Luck everything she could about their magic.

She started to dote on Luck much more than before. Carissa really was proud of his strength. Really did want the best for him. His smile became her light again, and she wanted to protect it. Even on the days when it felt like a mockery to her misery. She saw it as a sign of Luck's strength—how wrong she had been. But also, she needed him to know that they were the only ones each other had.

Carissa worked and worked. Worried and fretted over Luck’s well-being. Over how she’d treated him before. Sometimes she wondered if Luck would abandon her because she hurt him. Carissa wouldn’t have blamed Luck if he did. It would’ve made sense. But oh gods, did that thought send her spiraling some days. 

Her parents never contacted her since she moved out. Lord Roselei tossed her aside for the love of his family. So if Luck left her too…

So she did everything she possibly could to keep Luck close. To keep Luck as her son. To keep something.

The exhaustion and stress piled up and up and up until…

She collapsed. Nothing more to it.

#black clover #black clover fanfic #luck voltia #luck's mother #carissa voltia #black clover oc #kinda? sorta? i'm just giving the woman a backstory #because honestly she deserves it #she died of stress for goodness' sake! i can't imagine! #ugh and the way she messed up luck! #i can tell she regrets it and is happy that luck's life got better after her death #SHE WAS SMILING AND CRYING WHEN HE MENTALLY RAN BACK TOWARDS LIFE AND HIS COMRADES! #SHE LOVES LUCK AND IS HAPPY FOR HIM!

[fumblingmusings]

I know you don;'t really write the female versions of Mattew and Alfred but your latest inspo post got me thinking of them and Evelyn so bad like. Fem Matthew as the dutiful daughter, doing everything her mother says, turning herself inside out by adhering to every steroetype about women whilst also trying her best at being a good soldier, and fem Alfred defying and going against everything she's taught but still actually gaining the respect from Evelyn in the process that fem Matthew never really receives just oompfffff. The yes ok you love me, but do you even like me?? thats the eternal question for fem Matthew and the, Sorry that im all the things you wanted to be but couldnt be, thing with fem Alfred. they're just soooooo mmmhhhh. It's just so much rawer somehow, fem Alfred surpassing her mother in a 'look what I can do... without you' fashion, and fem Matthew forever stuck in the, 'one day she'll have to notice my role here, surely if I were to leave everything would crumble.. she'd notice right?' role just aaaahhhhh. The competitiveness for Evelyns attention, Evelyn unintentionally or otherwise encouraging it. And then how a fem Francis would fit in, one who helps fem Alfred while still ignoring her disappointingly plain sort of daughter who's aligned with Evelyn just AHHHHHH. They're all so complicated just what a mess!

Sometimes it can feel like parenting is just passing on different illnesses and behaviours and traumas, most often unintentionally. I mean 90% of the time it's unintentionally. One hopes.

And it's just tripled on account of a) these guys are immortal spirits and b) their parental and guardian figures have no self awareness because c) they are found and raised in an incredibly destructive and poisonous system, where every act of kindness is hard to take at face value because it's embedded into a colonial structure which is - by its very design - exploitative. You cannot marry the two up. Those kids didn't ask to be born. They are born from violence. It's just... its fucked. You can't be well adjusted in that scenario... right?

But then... what does Arthur value most in a person? What does Evelyn? I... don't know the answer that that question. Suppose it varies on the century: like what Arthur values in 1730 is not what he values in 2012. How do their kids show those traits? Do they even have them?

I know examples, where, with a pair of sisters, the older has more pride from the parents, because she has succeeded in the ways that matter most to that generation (partner, baby, house, job). However, that the parents also don't like or trust her very much for whatever reason. The younger meanwhile has the trust and affection for whatever reason - baby being the baby, maybe the personalities just gel more... whatever - which leads to scenarios where the older, despite ticking all the objective boxes of success, can't match up to the sibling, nor can they do anything to match up.

I imagine with some families you might flip it. The daughter who is more amenable and easy to get along with is found wanting against someone who just has their life together, even if the way they treat their parents is not as kindly as the other. Regardless of which way round it is, it means the siblings just can never quite gel, even if the parents aren't present. Too much history.

And maybe the siblings are just inherently different right? Doesn't matter if you raise two people the exact same way, they will not come out the other side the same person. But then... The siblings must have some things in common right? Speaks to how much of a personality is taught/learned versus intrinsic...

BUT! I am not a scientist. And every family's ills show in different ways.

#q&a #thoughts thoughts thoughs! off the cuff thoughts! #fanfic ask

[zafirosreverie]

i have an idea wednesday addams meeting reader who has a melanie martinez, maybe fran bow aesthetic, or this tiktok account's aesthetic https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSedsmvSe/ (because pastels), and reader's family also has that type of aesthetic, addams and reader's family meet? i don't know if you take asks or requests but i just had an idea and i wanted to share it with the class

this is what I call a magnificent contribution !! Thanks for sharing it with the class, you have an A +

Also, thank you so much for letting me write for another fandom!! I hope you like this little fic <3

Devil likes pastel color (Platonic Wednesday x Fem!Reader)

“Hallo!” you smiled as you approached the black haired girl next to you. 

In the month you have been there, a lot of classmates have approached you, wanting to be your friends and making you feel welcomed, because a new girl in the school was always a rare but awesome thing, and you were so nice and lovely, the kind of person everyone would want around. 

Everyone, except Wednesday Addams. The girl wasn’t rude to you, she just didn’t talk or even see in your direction, which you respected. You find her fascinating, but after the first attempt to befriend her, where she commented on your “utterly horrible and eye burning clothes”, you stopped trying. You laughed it off, of course, but never bothered her again.

Too bad the teacher didn’t care about Wednesday’s wishes at all and paired you with her for the next project. Well, you could always try to make this a pleasant experience for both of you. Which would be easier if the girl would even look at you.

“How are you?” you tried again

She remained quiet. You started to feel a little awkward, but your parents taught you to be patient with people.

“So...what do you think we should do for our project?” you asked and smiled again. 

“We can see how long it takes a wolf to eat a small human” she finally answered. 

You were making progress!! Good! And this was something you actually knew about, so it was amazing! Too bad you didn’t hear the sarcasm in her voice, nor caught the hint about you being the small human. You totally missed her threat.

“Well, it depends. Wolves usually eat 3.3 pounds of meat per day, 22 if they’re starving. So, I’m guessing between 6 and 43 days, depending how angry is it” you smiled. 

Wednesday frowned and finally looked at you. You had listened about how she could make anyone fear her with only looking at them, but to you, it was a victory. If you were honest, she was the most interesting person you’ve ever met. 

“How much do you weigh?” she asked and raised an eyebrow.

This time, you understood the meaning and couldn’t help but giggle. She was so cute. 

“Enough to feed a growth wolf, that’s for sure” you said “But I doubt Akela would allow any other wolf near me” 

The other girl blinked and her whole posture changed. She even turned so she was fully facing you this time. Second point to you!

“You have a wolf?” she asked

“Oh yes, he’s such a good boy, always protecting us from people who get too close. I think he still has a hand on the basement. Not sure whom it belonged to. But don’t worry, he’s sweet with the people we like” you finished with a huge smile. 

By the way Wednesday’s face changed from annoyed to interested, you knew you had her full attention now.

_________________

“Can I help you?”

You smiled when a lovely tall lady in a black dress greeted you. It had been a month since that project you and Wednesday did and you two became good friends since then. Everyone at school thought it was odd, because you two were total opposites, but for you it only made your friendship even better! Besides, your pastel dresses always looked better with Wednesday’s black ones, you made each other stand out.

Yet, this was the first time you came to her house. At first, she said she’d prefer to work at your place because that way her younger brother wouldn’t bother you (even if the idea of Akela attacking Pugsley was tempting for her), but then it was just that she enjoyed the way you and your family treated her, 

Don’t get it wrong, deep inside she loved her strange family, but being the older (and better) child meant her parents would usually expect too much from her, and you were a single child, which meant you and your parents would give her all your attention. Besides, she discovered your parents were amazing. 

They shared your same pastel aesthetic, but also your creepiness. You weren’t cruel, far from that, in fact, she’d often find your manners and sweet talk too cloying for her taste, but there were times when a darker side of you would come out, usually if you were in trouble or danger, and those, those were her favorite moments. When you’d get all psycho and murder. She found it kind of cute.

There was only so much her parents could teach her, but your parents were still a box of surprises and she loved learning new ways of using knives, chains, poison or raising spiders. But after a month of getting to know you all, she decided it was time for you to meet her family too. 

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Addams” your mother said, with a big smile “We apologize for any inconvenience, we’re just here to leave our little princess”

The woman frowned but before she could say anything, a man with a funny mustache and a cigarette approached her from behind.

“And who are these people with a horrendous sense of fashion, cara mia?” he asked.

Your parents laughed and this time your father presented you all in a better way.

“We’re the Y/L/Ns. Our little princess here was invited to your lovely house” your father said.

“Mother, father” a voice came behind the Addams “I invited her”

You smiled when Wednesday approached you all with a small smirk. She never smiled the way you or your parents did, but her smirk was still a nice touch. It fit her. 

“This is Y/N, and her parents, Y/F/N and Y/M/N” the girl said.

This time, the Addams seemed to understand and opened their eyes in realisation. 

“Oh, so this is the girl you kept telling us about, dear Wednesday” the woman said “Our apologies, we weren’t expecting you to have such...tastes in clothes” she said.

You and Wednesday looked at each other and smirked. You two knew what her parents would think about your family’s aesthetic, it was the same the black-haired girl thought at first, but you had the hope that, just like their daughter, the Addams could see past the pastel color and build a good relationship with them. 

You knew your parents would at least try.

___________________

“I think nuts could cover the amoniac” you casually said “Mom could help us bake some cookies”

Wednesday didn’t look up from her book, but you could see her rolling her eyes and smirking. 

You were right, your parents and the Addams quickly got along despite the initial suspicion from the goth family. And now it was common for you to spend days and nights at the Addams mansion or them visiting your place (although this was less common, since they didn’t like to go out too much). It was like having a second family! But despite getting to know them all now, Wednesday was still yours and your parents’ favorite.

That’s why you were a little mad about the current topic. 

It wasn’t rare for people to call Wednesday a freak or other names, but it never bothered her. She knew who she was and didn’t let anyone unimportant affect her. But you were another story. You hated people who judged others only because of their looks, it didn’t matter if they called you pretty or wanted to be your friends only because you seemed nice, if they dared to disrespect Wednesday, they were automatically on your black list. 

But even then, it was a thing to call other people nasty names (which was still wrong, but you could ignore it), and another too different was to try to punch her (thank god she was strong and stopped their hand before it could hit her face). 

You tried to fight them, but Wednesday just picked you up (again, she was really strong) and pulled you out of there. Needless to say, it surprised everyone at school. Nobody thought that sweet Y/N could be so scary or that creepy Wednesday would be the calmed one. 

If only they knew it was like that 60% of the time. 

“Ok, ok, what about a tea party at my house and I accidentally let Akela out?” you asked and smiled when the wolf under Wednesday’s feet looked at you, ready to follow orders.

“We would have to clean the blood from the carpets” she said “besides, that kind of junk food could give him indigestion” she finished, caresing Akela’s head. 

“Fiiiiiiine” you pouted “but I still think the cookie are a good idea”

The black-haired girl didn’t say anything but the smirk was all you needed. Both of you sat down in silence, enjoying the books on your hands, when something hit your window. It wasn’t a mystery who it could be, especially when other water balloons followed the first one. 

“Hey freak! Come show your face!” someone outside yelled.

You looked at Wednesday, but she only rolled her eyes and shrugged. Akela was alert and you could sense the change in the mood. He knew something was wrong, he could feel your anger. 

“Seems like they fell for the beauty and the beast explanation, uh?” she said and you frowned.

You had heard the rumors about her being some kind of witch who put a spell on you to control you, given that there was no other explanation as to why you would like to be friends with her. It was stupid and made you mad that they think you couldn’t make a choice for yourself or that they seemed to think about you as a fragil doll. Were they really stupid enough to believe it?

“Well, let’s show them who the beast really is” you smirked as you walked out, with Akela following you.

#x reader #reader insert #imagine #wednesday addams imagine #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams #nicole fugere #the addams family #addams family imagine #addams family #request #not my gifs #gifs found in google

[griffintail]

I literally just had a thought-and I'm not sure which I like more. Techno brining either Phil's kid or his kid to the nether with him (probably when they're a little older) and a piglin gives them a courting gift. And they don't understand but techno goes protective. I just-the lost ones series has been so much angst lately man. You don't have to write this but at least it's a cute thought 🥰

Courting Gifts

Pairings: Parental! Technoblade x F! Reader

Warnings: None :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Techno had taken (Y/N) into the Nether a few times before but it was simply to cross from one portal to another. He never had a reason to interact with the life there, other than striders when he taught her how to ride one and ghasts when they were attacked by the vicious things. They never had a reason to interact with the piglins.

So, when Techno was running out of a few things and he had a few bits of gold hoarded away, he decided to trade with the piglins.

“Hey, I need to go trading but the village is too far out. So, I’m going to the Nether to trade with piglins, want to come along?” Techno asked (Y/N) as he came outside to see the young adult laying in the snow but her head on Steve.

“Sure! I’ve never seen you trade with piglins.” She got up and pet Steve before she left the bear’s side.

“I never have much of a reason to, I usually plan a village trip ahead.” He said as he went in with her behind him. “But, with the you know what Athena, I used a few more supplies than I should have.”

“Ah, right.” She nodded.

She was truly a girl of wisdom and Techno had thought the name proper for her when he formed the Syndicate with her and Phil. They both went to grab their gear for a Nether trip and Techno quizzed her before they left.

“What do we need for a Nether trip?”

“Crossbow for ghasts,” she patted the crossbow on her back, “gold as a sign of peace,” she held up her arms to show her gold bracers, “and a couple of fire resistance potions just in case. And of course, the normal armor and sword.”

“Correct.” He nodded. “I’ll deal with all the trading today, come on.”

Both father and daughter walked to and into the portal, capes flowing behind them and crowns glinting. (Y/N) walked beside Techno as he led the way to a bastion hold.

“Piglins like the good things in life,” Techno told her as he showed her the gold he had taken. “They’ll give you almost anything for a bit of gold.”

“So would you.” She joked with him and he snorted.

“You’ve been hanging out with Tommy too much.”

She grinned as she looked around as Techno went up to one of the piglin traders. Around, she took in the black stoned building with a couple of gold inlays in its stone foundations. They must like their gold even more than her father did. She supposed that’s why gold armor was a sign of peace.

Following her father around to a few traders, she quickly found out that Techno could communicate through their snorts and such while she didn’t understand it at all. She didn’t understand the bartering either though. Techno seemed to get some decent items with just one bit of gold but what seemed like nothing at all for more gold.

“How does their trading work?” She asked him as he moved onto a new trader.

“It’s mostly how greedy they are. Sometimes I can talk down their prices, sometimes I can’t.” He shrugged. “I don’t trade with the greedier ones unless I really need something.”

“How greedy were they?”

“They weren’t bad, you should see the ones that want to trade with ender pearls.”

“Would they trade with me?”

“Eh, some of them might try to trade with you to get a steal. Some of them might be kind and actually, barter with you.”

“Huh, do you mind if I sit and write some of this down?”

Techno chuckled lightly. (Y/N) loved to take notes of things she learned and documented findings she had never seen in the many books they both read.

“Ok, just stay in my sight.” He nodded.

She nodded before leaving his side to go sit on a black stone bench. Carefully putting her crown next to her, she pulled out her journal and ink before writing down what Techno had told her. As she was documenting, she saw a small hand going for her crown in the corner of her eye.

“Hey!” She grabbed the crown and pulled it to her to see a small piglin. “That’s not yours.”

The child shrunk, giving small snorts. Shit, they were adorable.

“You shouldn’t take something that isn’t yours.” She told them, putting the crown on her head before digging through her bag and finding one bit of gold. “But here.”

They perked up at the offering of gold before happily taking it. She smiled as they climbed onto the bench next to her, playing with the gold in their hands before trying to look at her journal, making snorts.

“This is my journal; I was writing down what my dad told me.” She explained even though she doubted the child could understand her. “I’m documenting things no one has ever written down.”

The piglin gave little snorts as he pressed close to her to just stare at her journal and she chuckled, tickling the feather of her quill on the child’s nose making them give a little snort of what she assumed was laughter.

“You should go find your mom or dad kiddo. I don’t want to be responsible for you.”

She supposed he understood some of her words at least because the little piglin got up and wandered over to an older piglin, tugging on their pant leg. Chuckling softly, she turned back to her journal, writing down a few notes that the piglins probably understood a bit of common language as she now kept her crown on her head, despite it being annoying that it would fall forward. As she was scribbling away, even doodling a piglin, she looked up as a shadow came into a view.

It was the older piglin that the small one had gone to and she smiled up at them.

“Hello. Can I help you?” She asked.

The piglin gave a few snorts before holding a golden bracelet to her. She tilted her head, confused.

“Uh, I’m sorry. I don’t have any more gold for that.” She said carefully, hoping the piglin would understand.

They gave a few more snorts, still holding out the bracelet.

“Um…ok?” She said confused as she stood, putting her journal away then reaching for the bracelet only for an ender pearl to shatter in between the pair.

Technoblade then stood there, towering over the piglin and giving a mix of a growl and a snort as he had a hand on his sword. The piglin shrunk before scurrying off.

“What was that?!” (Y/N) exclaimed in shock.

“We’re leaving,” Techno said as he kept his tall posture while walking back towards the entrance.

“What? What just happened?” (Y/N) asked hurriedly as she followed after her father.

“Not now, back at home.” He said stiffly.

(Y/N) was very confused but she followed after him regardless. He’d tell her once they got where they needed to be. It took till they got to their portal before he stopped, relaxing his tall stance. (Y/N) realized now was he had been making himself appear tall and intimidating as he gave an angry huff.

“The nerve…”

“What was that?” She questioned.

“A piglin custom.”

“What custom? Dad, I don’t understand. All I know is you terrified that piglin.”

Techno groaned as he took off his mask so he could run a hand down his face. He stood there for a few moments before looking at her.

“It was a courting gift.”

“A what?” She said shocked.

“Piglins give gold jewelry to women they want to court. He wanted to court you.”

All (Y/N) could think was that piglin was lucky he wasn’t dead.

“Oh. Uh. What would have happened if…you didn’t come in?”

“They would have tried to court you! I was not letting that happen.” Techno shook his head as he went towards home now, (Y/N) following behind. “I was watching you as I traded though and was trading for ender pearls when I saw him trying to give you the courting gift.”

Techno had practically shoved all of his gold at the ender pearl trader before taking the ender pearls, immediately using one to separate his daughter from the piglin. He remembered the voices screaming simultaneously, but he was acting on his own instinct as a father.

“Oh, well, thank you?” She questioned.

“Yes, you are welcome. No boys, no nothing.” Techno told her as they stepped into the house. “You’re still too young.”

“Dad, I’m almost twenty.” She joked.

“No. Boys. No, nothing.” Techno pointed at her, looking deadly serious.

“Uhh.”

“What boys?” Phil asked as he came in having seen the pair come home.

She had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

#Technoblade x reader #mcyt reader insert #mcyt oneshots #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt imagine #dreamsmp x reader

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Characters : Alpha! Jungkook x Omega ! OC.

Genre : Arranged Marriage / Temporary contractual Marriage.

Warnings : Non- Con/ Extremely Dubious Consent . High functioning alcoholism. Genre related consent issues. Implied suicidal thoughts.

Summary : A recently widowed Jungkook agrees to a contract marriage to keep his company afloat. His grief overwhelms him and it is hard to look at his new wife as anything other than an intruder .

[  Author’s Note :  物の哀れ ~ Mono no aware can be translated as ‘the sadness of things’. It comes from the words 物 (mono – thing) and 哀れ (aware – poignancy or pathos). The ‘sadness’ in question comes from an awareness of the transience of things, as taught by Zen Buddhism. When we view something exceptionally beautiful, we might feel sad because we know it won’t stay so beautiful forever – but appreciation only heightens the pleasure we take in the beautiful thing in that moment. ]

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3

“Yoongi left a bunch of painkillers for you. He said you can take up to three per day.” Jin said calmly , carefully slipping the sleeves of my t shirt over my wrist as i held my arms out for him. He slipped the shirt over my head gently but his arms hit my shoulders, jostling me.   I swallowed the whimper of pain that shot through me at the movement. Mina was now awake, happily wiggling around on her rocker. 

It was a little past seven in the evening and Jungkook wasn’t due to arrive for another hour . 

“I could sleep on a bed of rusty nails right now. I’m so tired and i don’t know why. “ I whispered, staying still as he carefully drew the fabric down over my ribs, before stepping back. 

“I’ll sleep in the nursery with her. You should take the bed. You’re in no shape to be up and taking care of her when she wakes up. Jungkook’s asked me to stay here during the day because I’m not going to be performing for a couple months anyway and I’ve been losing my mind, rattling around that huge ass mansion all by myself. ” 

The phone rang, startling both of us. 

I groaned before moving to get up but Jin oppa held a hand up.

“Stay in bed. I’ll go see who it is.” 

I watched him disappear out of the room, settling back against the pillows and reaching for the ice pack in the small cooler by the bed. I had to ice my ribs every hour or so and while it didn’t seem to be helping much, I definitely appreciated the temporary numbness it offered. 

Jungkook’s guilt had driven a new wedge between us and he hadn’t so much as looked at me in three days. 

I wasn’t sure entirely if this was a good or bad thing. The fact that he seemed to be considering that he had to get his emotions under control to stop hurting the people around him was a welcome change. But the idea of going back to being ignored and treated like furniture , wasn’t really all that appealing. 

“Jungkook’s parents are on the way.” Jin’s voice broke through my reverie and i jumped. 

I resisted the urge to sob out loud . 

Mr and Mrs. Jeon were on the opposite side of the grief spectrum and just as annoying. 

Where Sooah’s parents were intent on making Jungkook remember their daughter as often as possible, Jungkook’s parents were intent on making him forget her. 

The only thing the two of them had in common was a burning hatred for me. 

Jungkook’s parents had wanted him to quit the company and sell it when it went into loss but Jungkook had categorically refused because that would result in all of his employees getting laid off, and back then Jungkook had been nothing if not ridiculously compassionate. Jungkook’s parents firmly believed that if it hadn’t been for me, their son would be back in Busan, letting them raise their granddaughter. 

“Great, that’s great. Did you tell them their son is not around?” I grimaced. I’d only met them three times in total and the last time was in the hospital two months ago when Jungkook had crashed in the middle of a board meeting, weeks of starving and dehydration catching up to him. It hadn’t been a pleasant experience, getting cursed out in front of the doctors and nurses and it probably won’t be any fun in the privacy of my home either. 

Jin gave me a sympathetic smile. 

“He’s already told them he’s on the way. I’m going to take Mina out on a walk. Give you guys some privacy. Shoot me a text when they leave.” he said gently. 

“Can’t I come with?” I begged and he laughed. 

“That would be a bad idea, even if it weren’t for the cracked rib. Just relax. Smile and nod and let them spew whatever nonsense they want and then they’ll leave. ” 

I opened my mouth to tell him how many flaws there were in his plan when the doorbell rang. 

“And that’s my cue. Text me, yeah?” Jin moved to pick Mina up from the rocker before reaching for the baby carrier on the table. 

I debated the pros and cons of staying in bed and finally decided against it, gently throwing my legs off the edge and raising myself up to a sitting position. I heard vague voices by the front door, Jin’s sweet tones mingling with Jungkook’s slightly gruffer ones. 

I heard the door close and the stillness of the apartment was as oppressing as ever. I could hear him quite clearly though. The clink of the keys as they hit the bowl, the small click of the door as he locked it. 

i could imagine him, exhausted from the day’s work, briefcase held in one hand while the other tugged on the knot of his tie. 

I imagined for a second, what it must have been like for him with Sooah. She was a bright , incredibly cheerful person. Everyone kind of faded into the background when she was around. Sooah had always been the first to smile at a stranger, the first to laugh even if the joke wasn’t funny. The first one to stand up to help someone in need. 

I swallowed, clutching the sheets to ground myself. 

I guessed that she must’ve always rushed to greet him at the door. I could imagine him wrapping both arms around her waist, drawing her into a hug or even a kiss. 

 How was your day, Kookie?  (I’d heard her call him that, once when they had been at my father’s house for a charity dinner. )

I wondered if perhaps the very sight of her would have taken away all of the day’s exhaustion from him. Perhaps, he would forget all the ways his company had been failing back then at the sight of her beautiful laughing face. Perhaps losing his company hadn’t been as terrifying as losing his job.  

And perhaps once he lost her, he just couldn’t bear the thought of losing his life’s work too. And so he’d agreed to meet my father’s demands. 

My fingers began trembling a bit .

I could imagine her moving around the house, pregnant and glowing, laughing as he nuzzled into the curve of her belly. Had he perhaps pressed his lips to her skin, whispered sweet endearments to his daughter through the fabric of his wife’s clothes? Had he perhaps loved Mina, deeply? WAs it just his grief that made it hard to be near his wife. Or was it perhaps me? Me holding the baby that should have been in his beautiful wife’s arms. 

The wife he had been so madly, deeply in love with. 

Love, I thought vacantly.

It wasn’t something I had ever felt, for anyone until I’d began caring for Mina.

But what Jungkook had with his wife was something different wasn’t it? 

The love a man had for a woman. Laced with desire, longing and passion. A love that made you put their happiness over your own.  

Love like that had never been in the cards for me. 

Ever

I was an Omega. Rare and hated and known for being selfish and greedy. People didn’t love my kind. They avoided me. They always assumed I would take advantage of them. My peers growing up had treated me with so much contempt. 

 The girls would whisper how I was trying to seduce their boyfriends. The boys would call me a tease, even when I stayed far away and did nothing to attract their attention. I’d gotten used to it. It didn’t bother me. it was the way of the world for me. Ad it wasn’t like I could honestly deny some of it. 

I looked at handsome alphas and wanted them. I wanted to be held and cherished. To be bought pretty things and cared for. It had taken decades for me to beat that part of mine into submission. To remind myself that if I ever let that part of me out, it would destroy me. 

But love? Being in love with someone? 

I didn’t know what that could have been like for Jungkook. 

Or maybe I had but I couldn’t recognize it because I’d never received it myself. Whatever the cause, it was for me, a fairytale. It was hard to imagine people loving each other so much, to the extent that they would die for each other. ( Jungkook’s words still hung in the back of my mind : that he had wanted to follow her even in death ) 

Jungkook was right.

I could never know what his loss was like. 

Because I would never know what he had lost. 

It felt a little like being dipped in an ice cold lake in the middle of winter. My skin broke out in shivers, hair standing on end and I felt my throat go dry so swiftly. I’d never wanted to run away so much. I wrapped a hand sound myself, scooting back on the bed again. I reached for the blanket, wanting to pull it over my head and curl into a ball. 

Shut out the world and all the things that didn’t make sense. 

“Are you alright?” Jungkook’s voice broke through the haze in my head and I swallowed. He had an alpha’s voice and my body responded even if my mind resisted. It didn’t happen all the time. Jungkook couldn’t control me. But sometimes when I was feeling vulnerable, instincts took over . I was already dropping the blanket and smiling softly.

“Mina’s out for a walk.” I croaked out, surprised at how awful my voice sounded. 

I felt the press of something against my fingers and I blinked, staring at the glass of water Jungkook was pressing into my hand.

“Don’t worry, I called them and told them not to come over.” He said quietly , watching me drink with still trembling fingers. 

I swallowed and stared at him. 

“I... Thank you. “ I said fervently, feeling a few knots come undone in my gut. I couldn’t really stand up to Jungkook’s parents the way I did with Sooah’s parents. Because Jungkook loved them deeply and hurting them would be the same as hurting him. 

“There’s a party in a couple of days. It’s my birthday. I’m turning 34.  Yugyeom’s organizing the whole thing, so I’m going to hire a babysitter for Mina, because Jin hyung will be there too and you need help caring for her anyway. You can stay home and rest. ” he said . 

I scoffed. 

“I’m going to come with you.” I said firmly. 

Jungkook frowned. 

“What?” 

I glared at him. 

“I’m not letting you go to a party organized by your shit for brains friend, Jungkook. You’ll probably end up getting drunk out of your mind and killing someone and I’m not going to hang around to clean that up. I’m coming to that party and I’m making sure you don’t have more than one drink.  “

Jungkook’s frown deepened into a scowl. 

Did you ever look at your wife , like this? With so much loathing? I thought stupidly. Or did she only ever get to see the sweet and wonderful side of you? Did she ever annoy you the way i seem to every second of the damn day ? Did you hate certain things about her too? Or was she so perfect that you could only feel love ? 

“ I can take care of myself. Its my birthday , I can do whatever the fuck I want.“ He snapped. 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. 

“Not unless you’re a five year old kid in the sandpit, which you’re not. You’re an adult and when you make stupid decisions as an adult, very real people end up paying for it. You’re old enough to know this Jungkook and for once, just listen to me. You can drink, fine. But I’m going to be there and if I see that you’re getting drunk, I’m going to bring you home. You either agree or I’m going to call Yoongi oppa .” 

That made him pause. 

“Fine. Fuck you.” He snapped, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. A few seconds later I heard the door to the shower slam shut.  

 I wanted to follow him and shake some sense into him but before I could decide if it was worth jostling my body, when another sharp pain lanced through my ribs.

Oh great. 

I took deep breaths the way Yoongi had taught me. Apparently, pneumonia was a thing that could happen, so i had to breath carefully to reduce the risk of that happening. 

The birthday party organized by Yugyeom was going to be a whole entire migraine inducing disaster. I could already feel the headache come on. It still amazed me that Jungkook was friends with him and his cronies. 

Yugyeom and his friends were the typical; brain dead alphas who thought themselves superior to all other ranks. Even worse, they viewed omegas as objects: fucktoys to be more precise and I bristled when i remembered the way he had always stared at me. 

Well, if he stepped anywhere near me, I would kick him in the teeth. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Jungkook’s mother turned up at home the next day, I wasn’t entirely surprised. I wasn’t surprised but it didn’t make things any more pleasant. 

“We’re willing to take Mina for a couple of days if you would both need time to prepare for the party. This is the first big event Jungkook’s holding after Sooah’s passing and we want it to be perfect. As his wife, i hope you’ll do your part.” 

Mrs Jeon’s pinched face did nothing for my already frayed temper. 

“There’s not much i can do with a cracked rib, mother.” I said politely. It stung, having to call this bitter, cruel woman mother but then, such was life. It was late afternoon and Jungkook was probably sitting in the comfort of his air conditioned office, being flattered and doted on by his smitten secretary while I sat here entertaining his vicious mother. 

“Nonsense, you’ve probably just scratched it. I know how you omegas like to exaggerate. “ she waved off my injury easily. “ There are so many details that need to be decided on and its unfair to drop all of those responsibilities on poor yugyeom’s head. Why don’t you go with him and help out a bit?” 

The idea of going anywhere with Kim Yugeom was easily the most repugnant thing to me. 

“I’m sure he knows Jungkook much better than I do. If i interfered, I’d only be getting in his way.” I said politely. 

Mrs. Jeon hummed.

“Well, its good that he’s agreed to the party at least. That woman never let him meet with Yugyeom or his friends when she was around.”

That woman being Jungkook’s late wife. 

I felt a sudden fondness for her. Clearly she had also recognized Yugyeom for the absolute pig that he was and kept her husband away from his rotten influence . But unlike with her, Jungkook didn’t actually care about me. So I had no way of stopping him from meeting the idiots. Yugyeom’s family was rich and reputed and it was clear that the Jeons wanted the friendship and the connection. Why else would they keep pushing for it so much?

“Is there any particular reason you’re here, mother?” I said finally, after hearing her babble on and on about caterers and invitations and what not. 

“I was hoping to meet Mina...why isn’t she here?” 

“I’m not able to care for her well, what with the rib. The doctor has advised me to rest so Jin oppa takes care of her during the day. Jungkook picks her back up on his way back from office. I can send her over to your place with him this weekend.” 

“That would be fine i suppose. Have you spoken to the decorators about changing the portraits put up in the house?”

I blinked.

“Sorry?”

“The penthouse, we’ve got it back now right? why don’t you move there. We have a cook and a housekeeper .”]

“this is closer to Jungkook’s office.” I had no idea where the penthouse was and could only hope it was farther way. 

Mrs. Jeon frowned. 

“This apartment is too small. Not to mention, you still have Sooah’s photos everywhere in this place. Surely that’s not healthy. Get rid of them and put up pictures of you and Jungkook.” 

Jungkook’s parents didn’t know that our marriage had an expiry date. i wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad thing. But they saw me as nothing more than a way to get rid of Sooah from the deepest recesses of Jungkook’s mind. 

“I’m sure, with time...Jungkook can make that decision by himself. When he’s ready for it.” I said gently, beginning the fresh throb of pain near my temple. 

“Nonsense, Heejin. Men won’t ever move on until you force them. Have you considered getting  pregnant?” 

I jumped about a foot into the air.

“I...what.” I croaked out. 

“You need a child too. He mated you. He owes you that. I’m going to tell him that he better do his duty by you.” She said firmly. 

“Please don’t.” I shouted, stunned out of my mind. Was this woman even sane?

“Why not?” She frowned looking at me like i was the one being unreasonable. 

 Why not? Because its barely been four months since he lost his wife of seven years to childbirth. Surely, you don’t think the remedy to that is to have him go through it all over again. 

 “ Mina is still small, mother. I’m sure we can wait a while. Maybe after she’s one or two.” 

 Jungkook would probably move on by then. Of course he would. Grief was overwhelming but it was also finite. It did get smaller over time. Easier to cope with. Jungkook would eventually be able to navigate his life around his grief. He would learn to make new connections and who was to say one of those wouldn’t be a compatible match? 

So two years from now, there was no reason Jungkook shouldn’t meet another lovely woman, a beta maybe and eventually expand his family. Of course i would be nowhere in the picture at the time. But that was fine. 

I remembered something I’d read somewhere, a while back. 

 If two people are like ships that pass in the night, they meet by chance for a short time , then do not see each other ever again. 

Like ships passing by each other in the night,  I reminded myself. That's what Jungkook and I were. 

“Well, if you think that’s wise.... fine. But now that Jungkook’s doing well, why don’t you entertain people more often? You haven’t had a dinner party here yet, have you?”

And so it went on, over an over for a whole two hours until I was wrung out from sheer exhaustion, my head throbbing and nails having dug half moon indents into my palms from fisting my hands too hard. 

By the time i finally closed the door on her face, I couldn’t help but sag against the door, sinking to the floor in a heap, cracked rib be damned. 

I glanced up at the solo portrait on the wall. The one my mother in law had wanted gone. 

“She must’ve really hated you, huh?” I said casually pulling myself up to my feet and moving to the dining space to stare at her face more closely. 

She was dressed in her wedding gown, a fitted mermaid dress with lace and satin detailing. She had a bouquet of white lilies in one hand, elbows bent and the blooms resting on her shoulder while her other hand curved around her slender waist. 

Beautiful was an understatement, I thought vacantly. 

“ You look like you didn’t put up with people’s bullshit. That’s cool I guess.” I smiled a little. “ You know in another world, we may have been friends.” 

I bit my lips.

“Yugyeom was shitty to you too huh? He seems the type. i’m glad you kept Jungkook away from him. I wish you’d somehow help get him away again. He doesn’t listen to me. Thinks I’m trying to control him or something. ”

It was ridiculous. What was i doing.. Why was i talking to a framed picture on the wall. God.

But now that I’d started, I couldn’t quite stop.

“About what happened with Jungkook... I don’t want you to think i was seducing him or anything. And when i said that I hated him calling your name when we... well you know why i said it right? It wasn’t anything personal...i was just pissed. I don’t enjoy the sex by the way... I don’t think he does either but he’s an alpha and you know how it is…they need that release or they kind of lose their mind .. So trust me we both hate the principle of it.... but at least he cums and well I don’t. He’s never made me cum. That should say something about how we feel about each other.......”

“Uh.. Should I come back later?” The voice near the doorway was so unexpected my heart jumped right to my throat and I screamed, stumbling a bit to the side.

Min Yoongi stood framed by the door, one hand wrapped around a bouquet of flowers and the other clutching his bag and stethoscope. He still had his white coat on over his shirt and slacks, hair mussed like he’d run his finger through it.

It took me a second to remember that Yoongi had a key to the house.

Another second to remember exactly what I’d been doing when he came inside.

Good God.

Had he heard the part where I’d talked about Jungkook not making me cum? Surely not? Oh Please no. 

“Jungkook told me to check on you. That you couldn’t sleep last night? Are you in a lot of pain?” 

Jungkook and I had shared the bed in his room last night and I had apparently, tossed and turned and whimpered through the night in pain. Or so Jungkook claimed. 

“Uh... I’m not sure. He said so... so..” 

“you guys sleep together right?” Yoongi asked casually, taking his coat off. I stared at the way the material of the shirt strained over his shoulders, my throat just a little dry. 

Yoongi smelled so ridiculously good. He was a doctor and he was so handsome and kind to me. The attraction would have been there even if i had been a beta but as an omega, the urge to just fling myself at him and beg him to make me his, it was kind of horrifying. 

Tamping down that part of me, I gave him a casual shrug, heart still pounding. 

“Yeah. There’s just two bedrooms here and one is Mina’s nursery. So ...” I finished awkwardly, watching him move around and place his bag on the table before unwinding the stethoscope, placing it around his collar. 

He gave me a small smile. 

“I’ll just take a quick look and check how your breathing sounds. that okay?” He asked gently. 

“Oh... sure. You need me to take my shirt off?” I asked curiously. 

He gave me a quick little smirk. 

“Not for medical reasons no.” He winked. 

I felt blood rush to my face along with guilt. What was I doing? This was Jungkook’s best friend!! His hyung. Someone he trusted and I was his....

His what? 

Nothing. I was Jungkook’s nothing. When was the last time someone had flirted with me . Someone who wasn’t a grade A creep. 

Yoongi moved closer, sitting down on the kitchen stool and beckoned me to come stand between his thighs. i moved, achingly aware of how much more potent his scent was up close. He looked up at me through sooty black lashes, a small smirk on his lips, feline eyes warm and open . 

“Put your hands on my shoulders, yeah?” He prompted. 

I hesitated, fingers shaking just a little before reaching out to rest on this shirt. I kept the touch feather light , the softness of his shirt the only thing I could feel.

He hummed and bending  down to lightly tug the hem of my shirt out of the waistline of my jeans. I bit my lips to stop myself from squirming. 

He glanced up , eyes meeting mine and holding my gaze. 

“You good?” 

“Uhuhbuh.” I stuttered and he grinned wider, pulling the fabric up to the curve of my breasts. He lightly ran his finger tips over the bruised skin , humming thoughtfully .

“You’ll be fine in a few weeks. Hang on.” He pulled back, plugging the steth in his hear before holding the other end up to my chest. He pressed it against my skin, just before the underwire of my bra and it was unexpectedly cold .

I jumped, fingers curling on his shoulder and squeezing down. 

“Hey.. what’s wrong?” Yoongi whispered, hands reaching for my waist, gently holding me steady and I flushed. He looked genuinely worried , lips turned down and brows furrowed and i felt absolutely stupid. 

“Sorry. Sorry.... It’s nothing.. i just.. it’s a little cold.” I laughed nervously and his gaze softened. 

One hand still curved around my waist, he brought the diaphragm up to his mouth, holding my gaze as he gently breathed warm air all over it. 

My throat went instantly dry and i had to swallow. He pressed it against my chest again and this time it was so much warmer. .

“Better?” He prompted and i nodded, guilt and discomfort churning in my stomach. What was i doing? I had no business indulging him. i had no business indulging any man. Ever.

 I looked away, pulling my hands up off his shoulder, pushing his hand off my hip as well . He didn’t say anything his shoulders stiffened at the subtle rejection. 

A mantle of awkward tension settled over us, a small thundercloud of regret and that threatened to rain misery all over us. I wanted to kick myself.  He was older than Jungkook by four years. Thirty eight years old. 

Did he have a girlfriend? Oh god, what if he was martried?

Nausea threatened. 

“Your breathing sounds fine. Are you practicing those breathing exercises , I taught you?” He asked casually and I nodded . I couldn’t trust myself to speak. 

“Hey...” He said gently and I flinched. 

“I’m sorry.” I blurted out. “ I didn’t mean to lead you on or tease you in any way and I’m sorry if i came on to you ...”

“What?! Heejin, stop. That’s bullshit. You never did any such thing. This was all me.” He said firmly. 

I stared at him.

“I know you’re married but... your marriage, its going to end right? Eventually.” 

I made to step back but he grabbed my waist again, this time a few inches over my jean and his fingers on the bare skin of my midriff made me want to melt. He had long slender fingers, a surgeons hands, and the press of it on my skin felt so foreign and gentle and different and good. 

“We don’t have to do anything. I just... I thought we could get to know each other. Over coffee or dinner.”

I wanted to sob at the unfairness of it all.

Because Yoongi was beautiful and handsome and so good and so much more than I could ever even dream of,  but he was and would always be so intricately woven with Jungkook and with Jungkook’s life. And I couldn’t imagine anything more messy than sticking around and watching Jungkook and his daughter forget me and move on.

“It’s.... probably a terrible idea. “ I said roughly, shaking my head. “ Its the kind of idea that would never end well.” 

“Are you sure? Because unlike Jungkook, i could probably make you cum.” He winked and I felt my face flame red. 

“Oh God...” I hissed, stumbling back. This time he let me move away, merely chuckling and reaching for his coat and bag . 

“I won’t bother you again. But the offer’s always open, yeah?” He smiled again. “ You need me to send over more pain meds?”

I shook my head mutely, begging him to just leave already. 

He nodded and held his hand up in a casual wave before walking out of the door. I collapsed on the stool and dropped my head into my arms , groaning. 

What had i gotten myself into. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t actually see Jungkook for a couple of days. The meds knocked me out and he worked overtime, only arriving after I’d slept off and leaving before i woke up. Jin brought Mina around everyday and there was something absolutely exhilarating about watching her clutch at her little teething toys and rattles, gummy smile peeking out every few minutes. 

On a whim, i told Jin what had happened with Yoongi and much to my surprise he actually laughed. 

“About time . He’s been pining for what three years now?” 

I gaped at him, completely thrown.

“I..he.. what.” I couldn’t quite wrap my mind around what I had heard. 

“He saw you at that art exhibition you put up in the Hyatt . By the way, don’t you paint anymore?”

I flushed. 

I had no proper response to that. What could i say? That my painting had just been yet another way to control me, only appreciated by father when he could use it to make more money. And that part of my marriage contract included that I wouldn’t paint or make any money off my art for the duration that I stayed with Jungkook. 

It was just yet another way my father reminded me that he controlled him. I didn’t fight him because he would win anyway. And the only thing he loved more than controlling people was winning battles that were always rigged in his favor. i wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. I would soldier through this awful marriage and at the end of it , i would disappear without a trace. 

I shook my head vaguely and Jin hummed. 

“Yoongi doesn’t understand art but he hung around the entire nine hours , morning to night . Three whole days of him just pretending to look at the artwork while secretly making moon eyes at you.”

I could only stare in sheer disbelief. 

“i... i never knew.” 

“How could you? Yoongi’s idea of courting is pretending he doesn’t exist and fading into the background. “ Jin rolled his eyes. “ He tried approaching your father to officially court you but your old man shut that down rather brutally.” 

I swallowed . 

“I... I’m sorry.” i said feeling foolish. Three years...what? I couldn’t think beyond the shock of the information. 

“Does Jungkook know?” I asked , scared. 

Jin shook his head.

“Like I said Yoongi never made it known . He was afraid it would make life difficult for you. He didn’t want any rumors around because everyone knew your father was looking to offer you to someone rich and young. Yoongi was what , fifteen years older? That’s quite a difference.”

“Thirty eight isn’t old.” I said sharply and Jin’s brow went up. 

“Oh?” He questioned teasingly and I flushed. 

“Jungkook is eleven years older. What’s another four more years?” I shrugged.

“You’re interested then.” Jin said thoughtfully. I recoiled, shaking my head quickly.

“I...what? No. No I’m not. “ 

“Why not? If it isn’t the age, then there’s no reason  to say no. Yoongi is handsome , settled and a great guy all around and besides,  your time with Jungkook is finite right?” 

“I... I won’t cheat on him.” I said firmly. “ i can’t... I... besides, Jungkook and I... we’re... we have sex.” My ears turned red, “ I can’t do that with two guys... I’m not like that. “ 

Jin nodded.

“Its alright.. Heejinah ...I’m sorry if i pressured you or anything. You don’t have to do anything. I know you have a lot on your plate right now. Yoongi probably got carried away . More than likely he’s going to panic and avoid you for a year just to recover.” He laughed and I smiled reluctantly. 

“He’s nice I don’t want to hurt him. “ I said softly. 

“ Sometimes that’s just inevitable . People get hurt no matter what we choose.” Jin gave me a sad little smile. “ Jungkook is just as nice a gy as Yoongi. If not better. He’s just...not in the right headspace to show that side of himself to you. I wish you’d known him before Sooah. He used to be this...playful and funny kid. We all went out of our way to keep him safe. Sooah was just as amazing. Usually , we try to find flaws in people our friends  date right? Well trust me Sooah was hard to dislike .” He laughed, eyes misting over as his gaze landed on her  portrait over the mantle. 

I followed his gaze and swallowed. 

“Do you think Jungkook will ever get over her?” I asked simply. 

Jin hesitated. 

“Someday? Probably yes. But it won’t be easy. He’s ... He feels things deeply. He always has. He loved her deeply, he cared for her deeply and so its only obvious that he’s going to feel the loss of her presence very deeply too.” 

I nodded. 

“Its his birthday tomorrow.” I said softly. “ I have a gift for him. Well its not a gift from me, but a gift nonetheless.  But I’m not sure if I should give it to him.” 

Jin gave me a surprised look. 

“What do you mean?” 

I smiled bitterly.

“Just that sometimes fate can be very cruel when it chooses its players. I’m forever wondering if he would be better off or worse without me in the picture and I just can’t decide.” 

“Different. He would just be different.” Jin said calmly. 

There was nothing else i could say to that. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yugyeom had rented out the rooftop restaurant in one of the poshest Hotels in Seoul and although the party was a pool party, I hadn’t bothered dressing for it. I wore a plain sequined top and burgundy skirt that fanned out around me knees. 

The place was teeming with people his age , friends acquaintances and business partners. The women had changed into bright , skimpy bikinis and lounged about in the brightly lit pool tossing a ball around .

The older people were being hosted by the Jeons on the lower level of the restaurant in a posh ballroom. Jungkook and i would have to visit them later but for now I was content sipping a mocktail, leaning against the bar while Hoseok and Lisa flanked me on either side, pointing out who was sleeping with who. 

Jungkook was in the pool with Yugyeom and Jimin and it was impossible to tear my eyes away from him. He looked happy almost, laughing and shaking water out of his hair as he moved around with the strength and agility of an Olympic athlete. Yoongi was in the pool as well and on the opposite team with Jin and Namjoon....and it was increasingly obvious that the half a dozen bikini clad women were there simply for an excuse to touch the handsome alphas as they worked up a sweat. 

“Jungkook is such a competitive bastard.” Hoseok laughed. “But I don’t know what’s gotten into Yoongi today. i can’t believe he’s in the pool. “

“Of his own volition. “ Lisa added. “ usually someone has to strip him and toss him in. 

Yoongi kept glancing at me every few minutes. It was impossible to miss. It was also impossible to miss that at least three of the six women in the pool were trying to get into his pants. 

I sighed and turned back to the bartender asking for a refill. when i turned back around, Jungkook and Yugyeom were climbing out of the pool and Jin was moving to the opposite side to take their place with Jimin. 

“Jungkook and i are going to go get a drink. Anything for you , beautiful?” Yugyeom reached out to touch me and I almost fell in my haste to get away from him. 

“Keep your hands off me.” I snapped . Jungkook frowned. 

“No need to be rude, Heejin , he was just being polite.” He said softly and i smelt the alcohol on his breath.

“Don’t drink too much Jungkook.”

“Oh come on, beautiful., Its his birthday let him live a little...” Yugyeom laughed and I glared at him.

“I’d rather have him live longer “ I snapped. “ And that can’t happen if you keep trying to give him alcohol poisoning.” 

Yugyeom rolled his eyes. 

“Is she always this dramatic, Jungkook-ah.” Yugyeom laughed. Jungkook didn’t laugh but he gave me a look that said, ‘ please don’t make a scene’ and I bit my lips. 

I didn’t want to ruin his night. He looked ....so close to a normal person tonight and whether I liked it or not Yugyeom had contributed to that. The music was apparently Jungkook’s favorites only, the pool because he loved volleyball in the water and the buffet had all his favorite foods. Yugyeom had gone out of his way to make the party perfect and i suddenly felt like the troll stomping on Jungkook’s happiness. 

Swallowing my own instinct to drag my husband away from the alpha who had his arms around him, I turned away and walked off to the pool. Yoongi’s face lit up when he saw me.

“Hey there, angel. Here to watch me kick some ass? “ He cupped his hands in the water, before tossing a handful of water at me. I blinked in surprise, laughing a little. 

“I’m just here to cheer Jin oppa. “ I said impishly, moving over to the lounge chair near his side of the pool. Yoongi’s pout was adorable and I couldn’t help but laugh. 

Maybe I could stop worrying about Jungkook for a while. Yugyeom wasn’t dangerous. Even if he got a little drunk, I was still here. So were all of our friends. 

It would be fine. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

it wasn’t fine. 

An hour later, I found Jungkook in a room filled with cigarette smoke and light music, yugeyom and his friends scattered around the place with a few beautiful women lounging about on their laps. 

“You said one drink Yugyeom...he’s completely out of his mind.” I said shrilly staring at where Jungkook sat on the couch , shirtless and laughing as some girl in a bikini ran her fingers up and down his arm. She had one leg draped over his thigh.  I felt sick at the very sight of it. 

its because he’s drunk ,  I told myself.  He’s drunk and can’t consent, that’s why you feel sick, nothing else.  

Yugyeom gave me an easy smile. 

“Guy just wants to have some fun. Reina’s a friend of mine. She’ll take good care of him don’t worry. She’s the birthday gift i got him. “ He leered. 

I resisted the urge to punch him in the face. 

Glaring at him, 

“Jungkook, we’re leaving. Come on.” I made to move towards him but a hand shot out, gripping my wrist like a vice. 

“Not so fast baby.... I already paid for her. You can’t just waltz in here and take away her livelihood.” He sneered. “ Unless you want to take her place. This is a special bar you know. All these lovelies, they have something in common with you.” 

I stared at him frowning.

“What does that mean?” 

“I hired them from an omega escort agency...you know because that’s all you omegas are useful for anyway.” 

I rolled my eyes, yanking on my wrist. 

“You and your medieval ideals can go to hell. I’m going home. Jungkook!!” I yelled again and this time Jungkook turned eyes landing on me. 

“Heejin?” He slurred. 

“We need to go home, Jungkook.” I said firmly. 

“Now?” He blinked. I nodded. 

“Yes now.” I made to move away but this time Yugyeom wrapped both arms around my waist, pinning me to his body. Pain , sharp and unbearable shot up my ribs and I whimpered. He was squeezing too hard and God what if the cracked rib just snapped? 

Panic began setting in and I yelped.

“Let me go you bastard.” I struggled to get away, staring in disbelief at my husband . 

Jungkook was standing but he swayed dangerously. There was no clarity there and his eyes were hooded. He was drunk. Really, really drunk. 

“Jungkook tell him to let me go!!” I yelled , trying to tamp down the panic that was rising up my throat. 

“Don’t worry Kook. Just gonna ask her to wait outside for a while. Why don’t you finish your conversation with Reina.. i’ll entertain your wife for a while.” He drawled and i felt my entire body go ice cold at that. 

Jungkook was blinking rapidly, the words clearly not registering and genuine terror began to bleed into my veins. Jungkook couldn’t even fathom that i was in genuine danger here, let alone help me. Oh God, why had i come alone? Where were the others??

Yugyeom held me tighter and i swallowed a groan . My ribs felt like they were on fire. 

“Let’s take this somewhere private, Heejin?” He whispered into my neck and i couldn’t believe it. Yugyeom was drunk yes, but was this idiot also insane? 

“Wait...no.. Yugeyom don’t be a fucking idiot. If you touch me, that’s fucking rape...You can go to prison for that .” I shouted, trying to drill some sense into his head. He wasn’t going to risk prison to make a point was he?? 

“Not if you seduce me angel...and you’re going to... Or I’ll just tell people you did...same difference , right?” he whispered. 

And then he began dragging me off to the corner and my eyes fell on a side door leading out of the room . 

 If you let him take you there this is going to become frighteningly real,  a voice screamed in my head and I inhale deeply, ready to scream loud enough to get the attention of everyone in the damned building. 

The door opened just as I opened my mouth and I froze, watching Mrs Jeon walk into the lounge, looking lost.

“What is this place?” She muttered out loud looking around and the arms around me fell away so fast, I crashed to the floor. 

“Heejin-ah!” Yoongi’s voice came from right behind her and I flinched, willing my shaking legs to stop trembling. 

“Mrs. Jeon...” I muttered, voice strained and ribs throbbing. 

“Heejin? What is going on here? Where’s my son?” 

“Fuck... Jungkook-ah...” Yoongi moved to get him and I took a deep steadying breath. 

Years ago , I’d taken a self defence class and one thing i’d definitely enjoyed learning was how to throw a punch. And It wasn’t something i’d forgotten. 

Planting my feet firmly , i lightly rotated my hips, a subtle shift, before engaging my core , drawing all the fury and helpless rage inside me into my fist. I pulled my shoulders in and took a deep breath. Punch past your target , i told myself. You’re not just going to break his jaw you’re going to put him in the hospital tonight. 

“Mrs. Jeon, Jungkook had a great time toni-” His voice was all i needed to hear  to know exactly where his mouth was behind me. 

i relaxed my muscles as i threw the punch, contracting them just as my fist landed on Kim Yugyeom’s face.  

The satisfying sound of flesh on bone felt like music to my ears and Yugyeom’s sharp cry of sheer agonizing pain even sweeter. 

He crashed to the floor in a heap and I could feel my fist throb like hell. I was going to bruise so badly. But it was worth it. 

“That was for telling me that you were going to rape me and tell everyone that i seduced you.” I said calmly. 

Yoongi let out a noise of disbelief. 

“What the actual fuck.....” He shouted. 

“Yugyeom what the fuck man? Are you out of your damned mind?” One of his friends yelled. Yugyeom merely groaned. 

He couldn’t answer, blood trickling down his chin and hands cradling his jaw, whimpers falling out of his  mouth. My own fist throbbed like hell so the damage had to be significant. 

Mrs Jeon looked horrified and when she opened her mouth i quickly held a hand up.

“I’m not doing this. Not tonight. “ I said calmly. Jungkook was quiet, the way he always got when he was drunk and I groaned. 

It was going to be a long night. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“We need to talk.” I said calmly and Jungkook swallowed. 

“Heejin, I’m -”

“Hear me out first Jungkook.” I said sharply. “ I don’t need your apology, it means nothing to me because it means nothing to you. You’re not sorry that you didn’t help me last night. You’re just angry that you had to help at all. You don’t give a fuck about me. I know that and I’m okay with that. What I’m not okay with is you getting drunk to the point that you don’t even recognize that someone’s in need of help. “ 

I took a deep breath. 

“If you did it to me, you’ll do it to your daughter too. Yugyeom is going to get you drunk someday when you’re taking care of Mina by yourself and then when she needs you, what are you going to do?” 

“You’re right... I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk -”

“I’m only here , talking to you , because of your daughter. If it was just you, I wouldn’t give a damn because you’re an adult and if you make your bed , you can just lie on it. It wouldn’t bother me. But Mina...she’s not capable of making the right choices. She need a father who can make the right choices, because whatever shitty choice you make, your daughter is going to be there along for the ride whether she wants to or not. You drive your car off a cliff tomorrow , she’s going to be there in the car seat laughing because she doesn’t know the consequences of your choices. “ 

I clenched my fists to keep my voice even. To stop myself from yelling. 

“I have something for you. “ 

I grabbed the brown paper wrapped canvas from under the table. 

“It’s a painting . Your wife commissioned me to make this a year ago when she got pregnant.” 

He froze so eerily still that it made me nervous.

“At first , i wasn’t sure if i should be giving it to you because well... because i was marrying you ... I wasn’t sure that it would be right, coming from me ...because I was taking your wife’s place after all...”

i laughed. 

“Now I know that's just bullshit. I don’t have a place in your life. I’m a nobody. This isn’t about me. This is about you. She told me back then that you were nervous about being a father. That was all she said. And she wanted me to pain this. “ I held the canvas out to him. 

“You can see it. I’m going to go stay with Jin oppa for a few days. I want you to see it. It shows how your wife saw you. The kind of father she hoped you would be. I want you to see it and make a choice. You can either get the help you need. “ i took a deep breath, “ Or I’m going to tell Yoongi that you’re incompetent to be a father. He’ll file charges , “ I had to close my eyes to get the next words out, “ and you will lose custody of your daughter.” 

Jungkook inhaled sharply, hands curling into fists on his knees. 

“i hope you make the right choice.” 

I wrapped both my arms around myself and walked out. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s note. :

I’m so exhausted I’ll tag people tomorrow! 

.@girlinthemikrokosmos  @xius-exos  @sugainfireslex  @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa  @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland  @veronawrites  @blr1004   @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay@squishyjk  @itsdingdong @emmmui  @honeeybunneey  @yeonkiminnie

@just-me-and-myselfs  @delicate-snow-flake  @kpop-lore  @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld  @btsmylife21  @teresaisla

.@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie  @ meraki--life   @somewhereinthestarss  @mawwnsterr  @kookiesbreaky  @chimchoom 

#jungkook smut #jungkook fics #jeon jungkook #bts fanfics #bts smut fic #bts smut #bts fics #bts #jungkook #bts scenarios

[archetypal-archivist]

Tommyinnit and Hermitcraft- Heartstone

So this builds off of the whole "Tommy has somehow found himself on Hermitcraft after the exile arc" thing that got really popular with @redorich and @petrichormeraki on tumblr. Basically it's an excuse to give Tommy therapy and 20+ parent figures. One thing that's a common thread in those stories is that Tommy is shocked that Hermitcraft has infinite respawns and all of the hermits are quick to reassure him that he really won't perma-die in their world. And I had the thought- well, what if he wasn't in their world anymore? And thus came forth 1500+ words of angst~

It begins like this. Evil X is stuck in the void, alone and with no one to talk to. He misses daylight, he misses touch, he misses hearing voices other than his own. One day, he sees something get shot through the void as if by slingshot, leaving a trail of code in its wake, tethering the whatever it is back the way it came. This is Tommy, and while he begins to get adjusted to Hermitcraft and company, Evil X watches as the string of code begins to imprint itself into the void, and eventually learns that he can interact with it, albeit only on the most superficial of levels. On Tommy's end, he slowly begins to heal from his time spent in the war zone that is the Dream SMP, making fast friends with Grian and several of the other hermits in the process. He goes pranking with his newest, winged older brother figure, laughs at the antics of Impulse, Tango, and Zedaph, builds a cobblestone tower with BDubs, etc. But for all that he's healing, such a process isn't linear. No one on the server can truly understand just what sort of stuff he has been through, and so he often finds himself alone, trying to deal with his wildest emotions by talking to himself.

One day, however, a little voice in his head starts talking back. It's rough and gravelly and not very nice at first, but it's faint enough that he chalks it up to his imagination and moves on with his life. He follows Stress around like a duckling for a day, plays squire for Welsknight, and has a roaring panic attack after an unfortunate spar with False leads to him getting flashbacks to the Pit with Technoblade. He retreats back to his tower for a good cry, and in the midst of his tears, he hears the voice again. This time it's a bit nicer, sounding unsure and a bit panicky as it tries to encourage him to stop crying, god this is awkward, kid, it'll be fine. Wait, are you a kid? You seem tall for a munchkin.

This time, Tommy knows that it isn't his imagination, but half of his old server seemed to have voices in their heads so he really isn't all that alarmed that he seemed to have developed one of his own too. And he does something that no one else does when Evil X reaches out- he starts talking back. It's rough going, at first, especially since both of them have abrasive personalities, but eventually they settle into a rough estimation of friendship that means more to them then they are willing to say. From Evil X's perspective, this is the first time someone has actually listened to him and hasn't been turned away by his violent streak, his bad manners, and lack of proper social skills. For Tommy, this is a chance to vent to someone who seems to understand his pain. It helps that neither of them are inclined to ask too many questions. Tommy, on his part, has no clue that Evil X is an actual person and not a voice in his head, while Evil X can't bring himself to ask why Tommy has left a trail of code in the void and why it's all so glitched. He especially fears asking about the perma-death clause that seems to naturally have occurred in his code.

He will come to regret this choice.

The day is like any other, at first. He begins his day with a slice of sweet melon and then flies off to whatever hermits are awake at the time to "share a meal with them." Really, it started as an excuse to make sure that Tommy was eating at least one meal day, even in his most dissociative of states, but has since turned into an opportunity to eat weird things in front of people to see their reactions. (Etho is his favorite. He's always up early and half the time, asks to try a bite of whatever Tommy is having. They both agree that spider eyes taste a lot like sour boba.) From there it's off to the shopping district to restock his dirt shop and claim his share of the profits from the hole-digging service he runs with Grian. After that, there's just enough time to complete an order or two and collect more cobble and dirt before he has to meet up with Grian to go on their biweekly End Busting session. The two usually have a lot of fun as they go about it, Tommy jokingly shoving Grian off the platform only for his adopted brother to catch himself and fly up to join him on the narrow platform spanning the emptiness once again. Every once in a while, Grian mock-threatens to do the same in return, but he knows better than to actually attempt it after he did it once and had had to catch Tommy when he started screaming and even after they had gotten back to solid ground, he wouldn't stop for the better part of half an hour.

On habits die hard, after all. Tommy may have been told time and time again by everyone on the server that infinite respawns are a thing, yes really, but he still has a hard time believing it. He actually has a rather insane number of levels racked up- even more than Xisuma, which is impressive- because in all the months that he has been on Hermitcraft, he hasn't died once. It's a combination of survival skills taught to him by Philza and his own paranoia which has kept him alive for so long, and most of the hermits agree that it is rather impressive, if not entirely healthy for him to be so scared of dying. (Doc once offered to kill him as evidence that yes, it really is safe here and you will respawn, but for all that death by crazy redstone machine might of been cool, Tommy took a hard pass on that. Grian low key took exception to Doc offering to kill his adopted little brother, really man? Not cool.)

Anyway, Grian and Tommy meet up in the End and start off bridging with the insane amount of cobble that Tommy has stored up. Usually Tommy is in front, placing the stones, and Grian is in back, watching out for any sign of a slip up, but this time they decide to switch it up a bit, head in a new direction, play around with who's doing what this time. It ends... poorly. They bridge out into the black, on and on and on, farther into the void than they ever have before. Slowly, the islands of floating white stone stop appearing with such frequency, but they become larger in size and stranger in shape. Every once in a while Grian will see what he swears to be a glowing white mountain of Endstone in the distance, although Tommy calls bullshit each and every time. They chalk it all up to bad luck and going nuts from boredom, but really, neither one of them knows how to quit while they're ahead. As the islands disappear altogether and all that remains to orient themselves is the tenuous lifeline of cobblestone beneath their feet, the unthinkable happens.

Grian slips. And Tommy, taught compassion by the very world that will now kill him, reaches out to save him.

For one, brief moment, the two brothers clasp hands- and then Grian's weight pulls Tommy right over the edge and down, down, down into the void below.

Grian fell out of the world.

Tommy fell out of the world... and into a new one.

----

Xisuma wakes up late that day. He's been doing that a lot, if he's honest, given how late he's staying up most nights finishing up builds and the like. Those hours of sleep have to come from somewhere, after all, and he's far from an early bird. He gives into the impulse to relax a bit, drinking some tea sweetened with just enough honey to rot his teeth, and then heads off to his computer room to start up his duties as admin for the day. It's the red lights that alert him to something being wrong, and at first, he thinks it's just one of hermits' cam accounts being buggy again. Perhaps it got shut off while the hermit was bridging through the void and the hermit in question simply hadn't retrieved it yet? But who would name their cam account Tommyinnit? The looming dread sits cold in his gut as he flicks his fingers to open up his admin panel... Best to check, just in case.

The death messages are clear enough- Keralis had just perished to a ravager yesterday, likely Tango's from Decked Out if he had to guess. Zedaph had been slain by a piglin twenty minutes ago. And Grian and Tommy had fallen into the void. But if that were the case... why had only one of them respawned?

On Grian's part, he comes to with a lingering chill deep in his bones and an awful headache. The bed underneath him is warm and the sheets are a soft rosy color, likely one of the ones in Scar's magical village if the persistent smell of spruce is anything to go by. He winces against the light filtering through the window and turns to the side, squinting at where Tommy had placed his blue bed right next to his, apology on his lips for his stupid mistake. The sheets are undisturbed. Huh. That's weird, he could have sworn that he and Tommy had set their respawn points at the same time. Maybe Tommy had just forgotten and he was back in his base or at spawn? Grian rises to his feet slowly, giving his body time to adjust to the colors and sounds of the Overworld, then flaps his wings and takes off to go looking for his Tommy.

He doesn't find him.

---

The reactions to Tommy's "death" are many and varied, although for the most part, the hermits are split into two camps- those that think Tommy is gone for good, and those that think he may still be out there somewhere. For the first few days of Tommy's disappearance, most everyone is in the latter camp. Xisuma spends hours upon hours scanning the code, becoming increasingly more frazzled and terrified as his lack of sleep gets to him. Tango and Doc join him in the endeavor, although none of them have any luck or are able to spot the piece of code that caused the problem. No additions, no changes to the text, nothing. Grian leads the other team, those who set out on foot and one wing and with pick in hand to scour the world for their youngest charge, taken from them too soon. They begin in a grid pattern, setting out in ones and twos to search the whole world, but as the distance increases, the neat, orderly flyovers turn into frenzied boosting as panic starts to get the better of them. Some of them hold onto their composure better than others, but Grian ends up flying over the same patch of forest three times because he can't see for his tears. False, Impulse, Welsknight, and Beef cross the Nether, fighting their way into Bastion after Bastion and leaving Nether portals in their wake. In their tracks comes the fliers- Grian, Ren, Iskall, and BDubs. Each one takes a portal and does a sweep through the corresponding patch of Overworld before picking a direction to continue the search. Cubfan, iJevin, and Scar take to the seas, Mumbo, Stress, xB, and Zedaph to the End, Etho down into the depths of the caves below. Strangely enough, there are a few hermits who don't join the search- Keralis, who got the unlucky task of taking care of Xisuma and the others searching through the code, Tinfoilchef, who doesn't provide a reason but everyone gives him a pass because of his age, and Joe Hills and Zombie Cleo, who refuse to explain themselves.

Eventually, the searches dry up. Eventually, some of the hermits admit defeat. Hundreds of thousands of blocks out from spawn, down to the bedrock below, beneath sea and sky and every place that lacks the sun. How far is too far? For Xisuma, enough is enough. Tommy is dead. The search is over.

He stops looking. And soon, others do the same.

And the tone of the server... shifts.

For the first time that any of them can remember, a person has perma-died. Sure, they've all heard the rumors, of servers where infinite respawns is not the norm, of servers where the world glitched and a creeper is supercharged enough to damage a player down to their code. But they'd never thought that one of their own would be on the receiving end of such a curse. And to the hermits, the possibility of dying themselves suddenly becomes all too real. The constant flying is the first to go, and for those that insist on it anyway (outside of Grian, who has wings), checking the elytras' durability becomes more than just a habit. Eating spider eyes and other junk is out of the question, now it's golden apples or nothing. The Nether is all but abandoned, as is the End, and everyone on the server either groups up so that they are never alone, or retreats into their bases, becoming true hermits befitting of their server's name.

The joy that had once been so characteristic of the server is gone, and in the hearts of all, there lingers the dread that any one of them might be next- although, there are still those that hold on to hope that Tommy may not be as gone as he seems.

---

The hermits who think Tommy is dead for good and have stopped searching: Doc, Etho, Xisuma, Welsknight, Grian, BDubs, Cubfan, TinfoilChef, Stress, False, Iskall.

The hermits who think Tommy is still out there, alive if still missing, and that the search should continue: Keralis, Mumbo, Tango, Vintage Beef, Impulse, Zedaph, Joe Hills, Zombie Cleo, Scar, Rendog, xB.

Doc and Etho are old. They don't like to admit it, but they've been around since the beginning, back when players were first learning how to jump servers and communicator technology was undergoing its first upgrade. They've seen a lot and know well by now that dead is dead. Tommy is dead. All that is left to do is mourn and move on, and they have shed their tears already. Call them cold for it, but in the face of a kind of drive that can keep a man going after his entire server has burnt down around his ears (Mindcrack will be missed), they know they need to keep moving forward. There are enough broken messes on the server these days, and it is through their efforts that shops remain stocked and the torches don't burn out. They hold onto normalcy with an iron grip and hope that some day, the rest of the hermits will join them in rationality.

Stress too has a comparatively healthy approach to all of this. She doesn't want it to be true, god no, but so far everything is pointing in the direction of Tommy being dead for good. She eats a couple dozen bowls of ice cream, has a some good cries, doesn't leave her base for a week, and even afterwards she can't bring herself to wear pink for a while. But she's mourning. She's accepted things. She lets her heart break, and as time passes, she lets herself heal. And that's enough for her.

Scar is of the opinion that Tommy is still out there, and while he clings to that hope with all his might, it's fragile and Cub just knows that his best friend is going to be cut to pieces when that hope inevitably breaks. So he takes Scar aside for a quiet conversation, to break his heart before the world can break it for him. Afterwards, Scar stops talking about Tommy as if he's coming back, but his smile is never as bright as it was before. And Cub's heart breaks too.

Team ZIT swings the exact opposite way as the rest and are firmly of the belief that permadeath is impossible and thus Tommy must be alive. The three of them aren’t known for their impulse control at the best of times, and with so many hermits having given up, the trio is rightfully vicious about the fact that the others, in their eyes, have abandoned their friend. Zedaph, Impulse, and Tango all kind of feed into one another and start doing lots of dangerous stunts, as if daring the universe to permakill them and prove them wrong. If one of them does something, the other two join in and escalate things, which gets impossibly dangerous very, very fast. Tango is furious, Impulse is bitter, and Zedaph is straight up heartbroken that his other friends would give up on another of their number. They do things like fly incredibly high, go cliff jumping in the Nether only to catch themselves at the last minute, and sprint across the End bridges. If they have doubts, they never voice them. Even when Tango feels like he’s burning up from the inside and wonders at his newfound hate. Even when Impulse is utterly terrified but goes along with things anyway because Tango is doing it and he can’t bear to leave a friend alone. Even when Zedaph looks at his friends and can’t help but feel scared of and for these strangers wearing the faces he knows so well. Even then.

Team ZIT often gets dragged into and starts lots of screaming fights with the other hermits who believe Tommy is dead, especially Doc, BDubs, xB, and False. False especially gets vicious, as while pvp is no longer permitted on the server, her tongue is as sharp as any blade. She believes firmly that the others are trampling on Tommy’s memory by insisting that he isn’t dead and she is determined to make them stop. And if they refuse to give up their foolishness? Well, all she might have left is her words but with them she will make them bleed.

xB and Vintage Beef are as close to neutral as you are going to get from those that get into regular arguments. xB thinks Tommy is dead until proven otherwise, while Beef thinks the exact reverse. As some of the more chill hermits, they often get dragged in to play negotiator so that the fights don’t turn physical. And some days, when someone says something particularly hurtful, they’ll close themselves up in one of xB’s bunkers and drink until they can no longer remember why they ought to be enemies. It’s hardly healthy, but they both agree that it’s better this way. Better to forget than to hurt, after all.

Grian is… somewhat the same. Sort of. He was traumatized by Tommy, the boy he adopted as his little brother, dying before his eyes, and he can’t help but blame himself. That is, when he can remember that Tommy is dead at all. After the fall, Grian’s mind was badly broken and he couldn’t accept that his little brother was dead for the longest time. He fell into two weeks of deep depression, barely eating or drinking, and eventually Iskall came and took care of him when he realized that he hadn’t seen his buddy in ages. Iskall nursed Grian back to health, only to feel his heart shatter in his breast when Grian turned to him, eyes feverishly bright and tone childlike, asking where Tommy was. The winged man’s mind couldn’t cope with the loss so it had shut down entirely, making him forget the tragedy that had occured. Iskall had deflected then, frantically trying to figure out what to say, but after a few days of Grian wandering about in a dreamlike state, his memory came back to him and he collapsed in on himself once more. The winged hermit is now locked in a loop of this, while poor Iskall is stuck trying to keep his friend alive and relatively sane.

Iskall, for his part, thinks Tommy is well and truly dead. In part because of his own certainty, in part because anything else would be even crueler for Grian. He doesn’t resent his friend for his break downs, just quietly bundles him up and clutches him close, coaxing him to eat and bathe, to put down the guilt and realize that it’ll be okay, the world won’t end with Tommy gone. He gently tries to nudge Grian down that path of acceptance of Tommy’s fate, and though he faces many setbacks, he tackles each one with a special kind of patience born of platonic love. They’re bros, despite everything. It’s only right.

Mumbo is, weirdly enough, on the side of Tommy being alive. Iskall doesn’t exactly approve and while he and Mumbo sometimes get into whispered arguments over it, they try to keep their little disagreements from Grian. Both of them only want to see their friend happy again, and will do just about anything to make it happen. For Mumbo, this means putting together crazy redstone contraptions to try and find Tommy again, as he’s certain that Grian’s little brother is still out there somewhere- and he has a piece that might prove it. Iskall comes over one day, face drawn and haggard from a night of soothing Grian through another set of screaming nightmares, only to find Mumbo waist high in redstone wiring, all hooked up to a strange portal design that looks too much like Doc’s infinity portal from season 6 for comfort. At the top of the arch is Tommy’s compass, needle whirling about like a hurricane, and while the portal isn’t lit, it does give off a faint blue-black glow. Iskall is frightened that Mumbo is tampering with something that could get him killed and Mumbo rushes to reassure him that no, the compass was specifically linked to Tommy so if Tommy was really dead, it would have been reset, right? He’s merely borrowing that tie to try and figure out where the two ends lead. Iskall is less than sure about this, especially since Mumbo is just as drawn and pale as he is, if a bit more covered in redstone, but they agree that fighting is pointless. They care about each other and about Grian too much to put any of them through that sort of pain- and besides, there’s more than enough fighting on the server already.

Ren too thinks that Tommy is alive and he is one of the ones who gets into regular fights. He’s a lover, not a fighter, but something about this whole situation just burns him up. When the pressure gets too much, he goes flying, tracing over those old familiar trails they searched so long ago, trying to see if there is anything they missed. There never is.

Welsknight has made his peace with Tomy’s death, though the server tends to forget that he and Tommy were closer than most. He alone knew that Tommy was once upon a time a boy called Theseus (a name given to him shyly when Tommy had asked him if there were any great heroes with that name that didn’t die). He alone knew Tommy’s love for horses, or that he would spend hours whispering horror stories to them when he thought no one would hear. Tommy was his squire, and although he had accepted the tragedy, he still wept for the hurt it brought him. He alone knew of the little grave he had dug under the willow tree in his castle courtyard and the headstone he had placed there, engraved with Tommy’s true name, death date, and supposed date of birth. He couldn’t have been more than 17, and perhaps that was what hurt the most. Every morning at dawn, Welsknight brings a bouquet of flowers to that little grave and says a prayer before disappearing into the morning fog. The flowers are always the same- forget me nots, for remembrance, violets, for devotion, and clover. (Think of me).

Tinfoilchef stays out of it- always has and always will. He’s too old to rush about searching or to feel as wildly as the others do. He feels, of course, but more so as the mountain does, steady and strong despite the winds that tear at its surface. Tommy is dead, but then, so are many of the people he has known in his life. It’s best to just keep plodding along.

BDubs is a mess. He had never spoken of it, but long before he had come to hermitcraft, he had had a daughter- a beautiful baby girl whose heart was too big for her chest, and she had died for that difference. He had grieved for years, but eventually the peace of the hermitcraft server had left him soothed, if a bit different than before. Tommy had been another chance at fatherhood, not that he could ever bear to call the teen that, even in the privacy of his own mind. Instead, he had taught the kid to build cobblestone towers that weren’t entirely offensive (if shaped a bit oddly) and had been the first to volunteer any time Grian was out and Tommy needed a place to spend the night when the nightmares were particularly fierce. They had so many fun sleepovers like that, and staring at those awful cobble towers in the distance, BDubs can’t help but bawl his eyes out at the memories. He waffles between taking the towers down or leaving them up- they really are ugly, and the feelings in his chest that they inspire are even more so, but somehow, he can’t bear to see them gone. Instead, he dries his eyes, flies off to grab a shulker of cobble, and sets about adding a few more to their number. A final remembrance for the boy he would have gladly claimed as his own, if only he hadn’t been too late. (He ends up building a lot more than a few).

Joe and Cleo are somehow the only ones who are actually neutral in the whole mess. Whenever they are asked their opinion on if Tommy is truly dead or not, the pair simply smile mysteriously and refuse to comment. Joe always seems to know more than he lets on and Cleo is his closest confidant, after all. Despite the anger and tears directed their way for refusing to commit to either side, the two keep their silence. (They know the truth of the matter, after all. Everything will be okay in time).

Xisuma has given up. Tommy is dead, and there is nothing he can do but spend days and days going over the code with a fine tooth comb, trying to find the glitch that cut the life of their youngest member short. Keralis takes it upon himself to take care of his long time friend, but it’s not an easy task, not when the other is so determined to make sure that such an incident never happens again. And Keralis can’t find it in himself to complain, especially since he is laboring under the impression that Xisuma agrees that Tommy is still out there and is trying to find him. It is only when Keralis mentions it in an aside, thanking the admin for his dedication, that Xisuma breaks the illusion and explains. Tommy isn’t just dead, he says tiredly, his very presence is well and truly wiped from the world’s code. All that is left of him is the faint impression his code had left behind, and trying to read it and understand what went wrong is a bit like trying to read small letters that have been drawn out in dry sand. Even for a voidwalker like himself such a task is near impossible, and Xisuma can only do so much. The needs of the many above the needs of the few- best to secure those he can now than worry over those that are gone beyond his reach. And Keralis can’t help but look at his friend with new eyes, a fleeting sense of betrayal in his heart. He had thought better of his Shishwammy, and he says as much. 

He cries while Xisuma watches on in solemn, mournful silence.

---

TBC  :)

#hermitcraft #minecraft #fanfiction #dream smp #hermit tommy au #angst #My writing #i'm proud of this one

[cqlfeels]

@lansplaining encouraged me to finish this random meta nobody asked for, so let's talk about Meng Yao, Meng Shi, and 孟母三遷 (mèng mǔ sān qiān), a proverb about good parenting.

A warning: this is super long (even for me!) and is less quality meta and more my ADHD brain jumping around a maze of loosely related ideas. Proceed with caution!

Let me start by briefly going through why I decided to write this, because it’s important. In haunting Meng Shi’s tag in my starvation for Meng Shi content, I’ve multiple times come across the idea that Meng Shi pushed Meng Yao too hard, that she should’ve been more careful with teaching him to seek his father’s approval at any cost, and that she was too naïve. I’ve never reblogged this kind of post because 1) I personally think it’s rude to go out of your way to ramble about how much you disagree with someone on their own post and 2) if this was an isolated incident I wouldn't care either way, so I didn’t want to direct this rant at anyone in particular. It’s more to do with a tendency, primarily (as far as I can tell) from fans who haven’t had much contact with Chinese culture, to oversimplify Meng Shi and make her relationship with Meng Yao slightly disturbing, and I think part of it is due to CQL basically cutting out her entire storyline (so fans simply don’t have info about her to assess her fairly) and part is due to misunderstanding what a good parent is supposed to act like in the context of Ancient China.

[Of course, Ancient China is not a very useful historical concept, not any more than “ye olde Europe” - things change a lot based on time and place - but you know. It’s fantasy. Extremely broad trends are okay in this case.]

Anyway, the idea behind the posts I mentioned is, basically, that Meng Shi (usually through no fault of her own) is to blame for Meng Yao’s obsession with power, since his desire for approval was inherited from lessons she taught him. Just to start with, I’d argue that Meng Yao isn’t power-hungry as much as he craves security and respect, but that’s a different meta. Let’s assume that she really did teach him to be Like That. Was she wrong to do so? I’m not looking for “does that make for a happy, well-adjusted childhood?” or “would you raise your own son as Meng Shi did?” - I’m trying to figure out, would she have been considered a bad mother in the context of the society she lived in? I don’t think she would’ve.

It is surprisingly hard to find texts about the obligations of parents in Ancient China. Their main obligation is to raise filial children, but I feel like that’s not very useful: whether or not parents are good parents, children are expected to be filial, so a child being filial really says more about the child than about the parent. Maybe the parent completely missed the mark and society at large was what taught the child to be filial!

We can assume, of course, that parents were to raise good people, and that by learning what a good person looked like, we could figure out whether the parent was successful, but once again, I feel like that’s pinning things on the outcome, not on the process - the best of parents can end up with an awful kid and vice versa.

While thinking about all this, it took me a frankly embarrassing amount of time to remember the story of Mother Meng and Meng Zi, but once I did, it wouldn’t leave my mind - in part because the Meng here is the exact same Meng of Meng Shi and Meng Yao (yay! fun if useless parallel!), and in part because this is a story about how a woman can successfully raise a son by herself.

Okay, so important note: one of the most influential ancient Chinese thinkers is Meng Zi (孟子 Mèng Zǐ), who is known in the West as Mencius. If you've never heard of him - he's perhaps second in importance only to Confucius. When Mencius was still a young child, his father died, so he was raised by his mother, who is usually known only as Mother Meng (in Chinese, 孟母 Mèng Mǔ.)

Mother Meng's story is told in Biographies of Exemplary Women (列女傳 Liènǚ Zhuàn), which for around 2000 years beginning around the 18th century BCE, was the most commonly used book used to educate women. The book is divided into sections, each one showing a different way women could be honorable and good. Mother Meng's story is told in the Maternal Models section (母儀傳 Mǔ Yí Zhuàn.) The story has a few parts, some of which I'll quote, always from Kinney's 2014 translation.

Before I go on to quote it, though, I'd like to establish that Mother Meng's story is so, so famous that even if Meng Shi had never read this particular book, I'm almost certain she would've been familiar with at least the outlines of Mother Meng's story. I'm not cherry picking a suitable chapter from the book, I'm literally going with the most famous story in it because Meng Shi would be most likely to know this one if she knew no other story.

Okay, the first part of the tale takes place when Mencius is a young boy and Mother Meng is a widow raising him.

The mother of Meng Ke of Zou [a different name for Mencius] was called Mother Meng. She lived near a graveyard. During Mencius’ youth, he enjoyed playing among the tombs, romping about pretending to prepare the ground for burials. Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son.” She therefore moved away and settled beside the marketplace. But there he liked to play at displaying and selling wares like a merchant. Again Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son,” and once more left and settled beside a school. There, however, he played at setting out sacrificial vessels, bowing, yielding, entering, and withdrawing. His mother said, “This, indeed, is where I can raise my son!” and settled there. When Mencius grew up, he studied the Six Arts, and finally became known as a great classicist. A man of discernment would say, “Mother Meng was good at gradual transformation.”

According to the translator's footnote, "gradual transformation" is "a childrearing technique, whereby a child is morally formed through daily exposure to correct models of behavior."

From this story comes the proverb 孟母三遷 (Mèng Mǔ sān qiān) - "Mother Meng moved three times." It's come to mean that a parent - especially the mother of a male child - should spare no efforts to provide an environment that will give their child a good education, paying particular attention to what models are surrounding them.

I'm sure I don't need to say if Meng Shi was at all familiar with this proverb (and she would probably be), she must have been very stressed out over literally raising her son in a brothel. (Here I must mention sex workers in ancient China were often essentially owned by the brothels, so literally "moving three times" wasn't really an option for Meng Shi even if she could miraculously pick up another trade.) Meng Shi did however at least try to surround Meng Yao with the accomplishments appropriate for the son of a cultivator:

Xiao-Meng, are you still learning those things lately? [...] The things your mom wants you to learn, things like calligraphy, etiquette, swordsmanship, meditation… How are those things going? [...] His mom’s raising him as a young master of a wealthy family. She taught him how to read and write, bought him all those swordsmanship pamphlets, and even wants to send him to school.

Meng Yao actually talks a little bit about “those swordsmanship pamphlets” in the only time in canon he directly shares memories about this mother:

Lan XiChen, “Your [guqin] skills are also considered quite fine outside of Gusu. Were they taught by your mother?”

Jin GuangYao, “No. I taught myself by watching others. She never taught me such things. She only taught me reading and writing, and bought a handful of expensive sword and cultivation guides for me to practice.”

Lan XiChen seemed surprised, “Sword and cultivation guides?”

Jin GuangYao, “Brother, you haven’t seen them before, have you? Those small booklets sold by the common folk. First jumbled sketches of human figures, then deliberately mystified captions.”

Lan XiChen shook his head, smiling. Jin GuangYao shook his head as well, “All of them are scams, especially to fool women like my mother and ignorant children. You won’t lose anything by practicing them, but you definitely won’t gain anything either.”

He sighed in a rueful way, “But how could my mother have known this? She bought them no matter how expensive they were, saying that if I returned to see my father in the future, I had to see him with as much competence as possible so that I don’t fall behind. All of the money was spent on this.”

See what’s happening? Meng Shi cannot physically take Meng Yao to cultivators, but she spares no efforts in giving him the closest thing she possibly can -- figuratively, we might say she moved three times.

Of course, these booklets don’t work, but as Meng Yao says, how could she have known this? The cultivation world is very closed off - think of how the entire Mo household gathers to see Lan juniors, and how Wei Wuxian mentions once that “Cultivation families, in the eyes of common folk, are like people favored by God, mysterious yet noble.” Not just noble, but mysterious. That tracks, too - I mean, they live in inaccessible households and mostly leave to night hunt or visit each other, neither of which is an activity that would allow commoners to get much more than an occasional glimpse of them.

Now, if Meng Shi doesn’t even know that a pearl for Jin Guangshan was just a trinket, if she doesn’t know even the wealth of a major sect, how can she read booklets and decide whether that’s genuine cultivation or not? All that she sees is a chance for Meng Yao to be surrounded by the ideas and skills of the people she wants him to emulate - cultivators - and therefore she does everything she can to get him that chance. Mother Meng moved three times.

Okay, but maybe the argument is not “Meng Shi shouldn’t have pushed Meng Yao to cultivation” but rather “she should’ve pushed him, just not too hard." To that, I present another tale from Mencius' childhood:

Once, when Mencius was young, he returned home after finishing his lessons and found his mother spinning. She asked him, “How far did you get in your studies today?” Mencius replied, “I’m in about the same place as I was before.” Mother Meng thereupon took up a knife and cut her weaving. Mencius was alarmed and asked her to explain. Mother Meng said, “Your abandoning your study is like my cutting this weaving. A man of discernment studies in order to establish a name and inquires to become broadly knowledgeable. By this means, when he is at rest, he can maintain tranquility and when he is active, he can keep trouble at a distance. If now you abandon your studies, you will not escape a life of menial servitude and will lack the means to keep yourself from misfortune. How is this different from weaving and spinning to eat? If one abandons these tasks midway, how can one clothe one’s husband and child and avoid being perpetually short of food? If a woman abandons that with which she nourishes others and a man is careless about cultivating his virtue, if they don’t become brigands or thieves, then they will end up as slaves or servants.” Mencius was afraid. Morning and evening he studied hard without ceasing. He served Zisi [a great scholar whose grandfather was Confucius] as his teacher and then became one of the most renowned classicists in the world.

Notice that Mother Meng moved three times to ensure Mencius would have the highest of aspirations - to become a scholar. But just aspiration isn’t enough. Not by any means. Now that Mencius is actually studying, Mother Meng is willing to take an extreme action to ensure he's taking it seriously. Mencius doesn't have a father to smooth his path to success. He has to learn that aspiring to greatness isn't enough. He'll have to put in the effort as if his life depended on it. And if he doesn't persist in his hard work, everything he's done thus far will be useless. Sounds like a lesson imparted on young Meng Yao, doesn’t it?

A lot of fandom rage towards Meng Shi would apply to China's Best Mom Contender, Mother Meng. She gives her son big dreams, and teaches him how to go about achieving them in a society where failing is easier than succeeding. Yes, it's fair to say that Meng Shi taught Meng Yao to refuse to settle for anything less than being “Jin Guangshan's son, a respected cultivator.” Yes, it's also fair to say that she probably didn't allow him much time to play like children his age did. But unfortunately, in the world of MDZS, poor children probably wouldn't get to play anyhow, the difference is that they'd usually be working, not studying. Studying is a privilege! It’s a privilege Meng Yao could not afford but was given to him anyway, through his mother’s many sacrifices. We can even say that while she was alive, Meng Shi was trying to ensure Meng Yao would one day have a better life, at the expense of a fun childhood - and that's very Mother Meng of her, whatever our modern Western sensibilities might have to say about that.

Finally, I’d skip other tales (which show Mother Meng and an adult Mencius) and go straight to the poem that ends the Mother Meng section:

The mother of Mencius

Was able to teach, transform, judge, and discriminate.

With skill she selected a place to raise her son,

Prompting him to accord with the great principles.

When her son’s studies did not advance,

She cut her weaving to illustrate her point.

Her son then perfected his virtue;

His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.

I’d like to focus on the last verse - “His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.” All that Mother Meng wanted was for Mencius to not completely ruin his life, but he became great. You can so very easily see a parallel with how Meng Shi hoped Meng Yao would be a cultivator but he became Jin Guangyao, Chief Cultivator, styled Lianfang-zun, one of the Three Venerable, hero of the Sunshot Campaign.

Of course you can say “Jin Guangyao did many Very Wrong Things to get there, though!” Which, sure, okay, fair point. How many and how wrong depends on which canon we're discussing, and your own interpretation, but there’s no version of the story in which Jin Guangyao is 100% an innocent child uwu. But blaming that on Meng Shi is just... straight up weird? I don’t see anyone going “If Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted Wei Wuxian, he’d never have dared become Yiling Laozu!” and that’s pretty much the same logic. Would street kid Wei Wuxian have invented a new type of cultivation if he had never been taken in by the Jiang? Probably not, but raising undead armies is very much not something Jiang Fengmian could’ve predicted. In the same way, how could Meng Shi have predicted that teaching her pre-adolescent son “You are the son of a cultivator, act like one and earn your place in society” would’ve ultimately resulted in innocent deaths? How could she predict “You’re not destined to having the same horrible life I did, you can get something better than this” was a bad thing to teach? I quite honestly don’t know.

Finally, I'd like to point towards a much flimsier evidence that Meng Shi did great as a parent. And that is Meng Yao’s love. Nie Huaisang at some point comments Meng Shi is someone who Meng Yao "cherishes more than his life," and I think his assessment is correct.

Even putting aside the fact he built a whole temple to get his mother to reincarnate into a better life, and even putting aside how he refuses to flee the country without her remains, there's still crystal clear evidence that Meng Shi must've done something right. Because a lifetime of people using his mother to bully him doesn't seem to have made Meng Yao resent her. Had their relationship not have been very strong, odds are he'd feel bitter and/or ashamed of her. That doesn't seem to be the case. He's attached to her even decades after her death.

I want to be very careful with equating mutual affection with good parenting, though. When I was a rather rebellious teenager, my mother (in typical Chinese fashion) used to say that parents and children don't have to love each other as long as they're dutiful to each other, by which she meant that a parent-child relationship isn't informed by warm and fuzzy feelings, but by whether you'd be willing to do anything for each other. Specific to my case, she meant "I don't care if it makes you hate me, you will do as you're told because that's what's best for you." (That may also be the reason why people more familiar with Chinese culture see the Jiang family less as outright abusive and more as #complicated, but that's another meta.)

Whether your kid wants to hug you every time they see you is of no consequence to traditional Chinese thought - raising them to be the best they can is all that matters, because at the end of the day, you won't be around forever, but you can definitely set up your kid's life so that it goes smoothly and virtuously. How that's accomplished varies depending on many factors, but to have the goal be "I want my child to love me" rather than "I want to raise my child right" would've been considered selfish as hell.

So even if all that Meng Shi had given Meng Yao had been stern lessons about the need to go get his birthright, she would've still have been considered a good mother!! In fact, she would've been doing everything she was supposed to do, under extremely difficult conditions! (Remember the importance of environment? That Meng Yao grew up to want to be a cultivator despite having probably never even met one speaks wonders about Meng Shi's childrearing powers!!)

But just based off how over the top Meng Yao's filal dutifulness is, I'd go a step further and say that even as she did the impossible, she was also loving enough to inspire genuine affection. This is complicated because children who have present fathers could expect their mothers to be tender with them. The first century BCE text 禮記 Lǐ Jì or The Classic of Rites says that:

Here now is the affection of a father for his sons - he loves the worthy among them, and places on a lower level those who do not show ability; but that of a mother for them is such, that while she loves the worthy, she pities those who do not show ability - the mother deals with them on the ground of affection and not of showing them honour; the father, on the ground of showing them honour and not of affection.

But when the father figure is lacking for any reason, the mother must abandon her tenderness because someone must guide the child, and without a father, the role falls to the mother. A single or widowed mother had to be very careful to not smother their children with affection and raise useless, spoiled kids, or so it was thought. (The presence of Qingheng-jun and Lan Qiren is why Madame Lan can be so affectionate with the Lan boys, by the way - if she was raising them by herself she would've been expected to be much more practical. AUs where she just gets her kids and runs away could do very cool things with this idea. But I digress!)

Where was I? Oh, okay. Because Meng Yao seems to not just respect, but actively miss her, it seems that Meng Shi somehow managed to deal with her son on the ground of both honor and affection, to paraphrase.

So basically, all things considered, it seems not only would Meng Shi have been considered a great mom (if people could look past her being a prostitute, anyway) but she also went above and beyond the bare minimum. She truly spared no efforts on any front to make sure her son had everything your average gongzi would have - someone to teach him and someone to love him, access to education and confidence in his birthright. That she couldn't actually make him a cultivator, that she couldn't actually raise him in a proper home with no one being cruel to herself or him - that's immaterial. Even Mother Meng couldn't control what her neighbors did, only what she taught her son! The key point is Meng Shi tried. She did everything she could to educate her son right. You couldn't ask more of her, and quite honestly, you should probably be asking less.

Of course we can't err on the other extreme and say she was Perfect. Given MXTX only ever writes flawed characters, we can safely assume that if we'd known more about Meng Shi, we would've seen many flaws. Indeed, just the fact she didn't teach Meng Yao the guqin when he apparently wanted to learn it might point to some conflict we don't know enough to speculate about (maybe she focused too much on cultivation when Meng Yao's interests lay elsewhere? Maybe she wasn't able to sufficiently shelter him and he felt it'd be a burden to ask her to teach him anything? Maybe maybe maybe, go wild with your fics.) Nevertheless, I would never hold a female character to a higher ideal than a male character - if the male cast of MDZS can be a hot mess and still be admirable for what they're trying to do, then so can Meng Shi.

At the end of the day, when I look at Meng Shi - and I've made myself a document with all the references to her in the novel canon so I could easily contemplate her life and character - all I see is a woman every bit as determined and resourceful as her son, willing to do everything it took to raise her little boy into the sophisticated and ambitious man he became.

Finally, here's a fun little parallel that I'm 100% sure was unintentional but I still love. I said Meng Shi couldn't have moved three times. She couldn't, but I think maybe she taught her son he was worth moving three times for. Qinghe Nie. Qishan Wen. Lanling Jin. Isn't that super fun to think about?

Alternatively, tl;dr: Oh My God I Can't Believe We're Blaming Women For The Actions Of Their Adult Children In The Year Of Our Lord 2k21, Meng Shi Was Doing Her Best, Chill!

#drinking game #take a shot every time i say 'finally' #this post refused to let me get to the end of it lol #i think because i'm extremely salty about fanon stage mom meng shi #(to not say tiger mom meng shi which crosses into outright racism. but i'm giving people the benefit of the doubt)