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theostrophywife · 7 months

Text

le coup de foudre.

pairing: regulus black x reader.

song inspiration: my love mine all mine by mitski.

author's note: this was a result of me binging dune and call me by your name. whoever fancasted timothee chalamet as regulus deserves a forehead kith cause look at him. he's so boyfriend coded it makes me sick.

Regulus Black did not believe in love at first sight.

It was a foolish notion. One that contradicted his pragmatic beliefs. At his core, Regulus was a realist. In his world, love was not a luxury one could afford. Regulus was raised with the expectation to marry according to class, wealth, and most importantly, blood status. The noble and most ancient house of Black only took the purest of the pure.

After all, toujours pur, always pure, has been his family’s motto for centuries. There has never been any doubt in his mind that he’d marry another member of the sacred twenty eight. It wasn’t a matter of if, only a question of when.

During his sixth year, his mother made her intentions very clear. Walburga Black was adamant that he begin his search for a suitable bride. Leave it to his mother to compose a list of ladies she deemed suitable to become the future Mrs. Black. Regulus was to adhere to the carefully curated roster. They were names that he’d seen a million times before. Greengrass, Prewett, Rosier. Girls he’d grown up with and inadvertently had absolutely no interest in.

Still, his mother was insistent so Regulus complied. He took the girls out on dates. The formula was rather simple: dinner at the fanciest restaurant in town followed by a walk around the city square in which he offered to buy his date a dessert like the proper gentleman his mother raised him to be. Despite the fact that Regulus had the entire process down to a science, the dates were always unsatisfactory.

He was polite, of course. Opened the door, pulled out their chair, asked the appropriate level of questions to get to know his counterpart, but by the time the appetizers arrived, Regulus was on the verge of stabbing himself with the butter knife just to rouse himself from boredom.

Regulus placed no blame on the girls. They were only doing what their families had raised them to do. Sit pretty, chew gracefully, agree with his opinions. All while wearing breakneck heels and a smile to boot. It was all terribly fucked up, but this was the world they lived in.

The more he went on these dates, the more he realized that he didn’t want some pretty, docile wife. What he truly needed was someone who was willing to challenge him, to call him out on his bullshit, to argue with him when his own stubbornness prevented him from seeing reason. Regulus came to the horrible, earth-shattering realization that he probably wouldn’t find a woman like that on his mother’s list.

As he walked back from another mind numbing date, Regulus grappled with this newfound dilemma. He didn’t want to endure another one of these disastrous dates. He didn’t want to sit through an entire meal making small talk. He definitely didn’t want to disappoint another girl by not kissing them at the end of the night.

It wasn’t like any of them liked him anyways. Though they loved the idea of Regulus Black, he was quite certain that they wouldn’t afford the same affections to Reggie—the real and true version of himself. The one that Sirius often said Regulus kept in a neatly locked cage.

He wished he could be more like his brother. Sirius had always been the brave one. It was that infamous Gryffindor boldness that prompted his older brother to rebel against his family’s expectations. Instead of heeding to their mother’s ridiculous list, Sirius chose to date Remus in open defiance to Walburga’s orders. It resulted in him getting kicked out of 12 Grimmauld Place and burned off the family portrait, but Sirius didn’t seem to mind one bit.

In a lot of ways, Regulus envied his brother. Sirius had the guts to stand up for himself. He wasn’t burdened by the crippling pressure of pleasing their mother. In all honesty, Reggie wondered if such a thing was even achievable. As he brooded, Regulus found himself on the shores of the Black Lake. His body had taken him here on autopilot. It was his only place of refuge in the castle.

Regulus paced the rickety wooden dock. His mind was working so fast, so many thoughts spinning in his head, that it felt like he might work himself up to a fit. This has always been his problem. Sirius often said that he lived in his head too much. He frowned, trying and failing to get ahold of himself. For once, he wished he could just shut his brain off entirely.

Just then, Regulus felt a drop of water hit his head. He looked up and found dark, gray clouds hovering over the horizon. The stormcloud broke open and unleashed torrential rain all around him. Fucking fantastic. The world truly couldn’t give him a bloody break, could it?

With a sigh, Regulus began making his way back. The ground was sodden underneath his feet, his boots sinking into the sand and dragging behind his black coat. The waves lapped violently across the shore as the wind lashed against the murky waters. Regulus was almost at the edge of the beach when he spotted you.

A flash of movement from the corner of his eye. Regulus stopped dead in his tracks. There, at the mouth of the Black Lake, in the middle of the pouring rain, stood a girl with the most breathtaking smile he had ever seen.

Regulus was fairly certain that you had History of Magic together. He sat behind you in class, passed by you in the halls, even reached for the same book in the forbidden section of the library once, but Reggie had never once seen that smile. The gravity of it threatened to knock the very breath from his lungs.

There was something carefree about you. The way you spread your arms, tilted your head back, and laughed in the midst of the rain and thunder. Almost like you were welcoming the storm.

It was only when your eyes locked that Regulus realized he was staring. You cocked your head at him, trailing your gaze from the curls plastered against his cheek to the nice button down and freshly pressed trousers that were now soaked from the rain, down to the shiny leather boots that were now digging into the sand. You seemed amused at the sight of him.

Ever the perfect gentleman, Regulus snapped out of his daze and jogged over to you. Without hesitation, he raised his coat over your head to shield you from the rain even though you were already both drenched.

“What are you doing out in the rain?” Regulus asked, his voice full of genuine concern. “You’ll catch a cold.”

You stepped out of the refuge of his expensive looking coat and held your hand out, catching droplets in your palm. “I don’t mind. I just…I just needed to feel the rain on my skin, that’s all.”

You supposed it must’ve seemed strange to him, but the rain always made you feel better. Lately, life had been just a little too overwhelming. There was so much pressure to do well in classes, to hang out with friends while balancing your clubs and sports, as well as making time to write back to your parents. When it all became a bit too much, you tended to come to the Black Lake for some sort of refuge. The rain was just an added bonus.

If Regulus found your behavior bizarre, he didn’t say. Instead, he just smiled softly. “Well, you got your wish. It’s soaked out here.”

“I know,” you responded with an enthusiastic nod. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”

“Standing out in the pouring rain? On a beach where lightning can strike me down at any second? Yes, it’s absolutely splendid.”

Your mouth quirked in amusement. “No one’s telling you to stay out here.” You nodded towards the castle. “You’re more than welcome to take your brooding inside where it’s warm and dry. Not to mention, free of the dangers of lightning strikes, which are extremely rare by the way.”

“With my luck, I might be the poor one in a million git who gets torched while getting insulted by a pretty girl.”

“Did I insult you?’ you quipped back. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“You accused me of brooding.”

“I didn’t accuse, I stated. Even the Wizengamot would have to rule that you were, in fact, brooding.”

Regulus raised a brow. “What happened to innocent before proven guilty?”

“Unfortunately, the evidence is overwhelming and the verdict is set. You, Regulus Black, have been sentenced for glaring at the Black Lake so menacingly that even the giant squid refuses to come to shore. Off to Azkaban you go.”

“Do you promise to write me letters? Update me of how the world’s progressed without my dazzling presence?”

“It would be my genuine pleasure.”

Regulus chuckled at your dry humor. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d bantered like this with anyone, much less with a strange not-so-stranger. You sat down on the wet sand and patted the spot beside you with a grin.

“Why don’t you take a seat and tell me all about your troubles.”

Beyond the bleak horizon, the spires of the castle peeked through the gray clouds. Regulus thought of the common room where his housemates would no doubt be gathered around the ornate fireplace for warmth. Knowing his friends, they’d probably be indulging in spiked hot chocolate and playing some childish drinking game. A few minutes ago, nothing appealed to him more, but now Regulus found himself choosing the violent rain and soggy sand. All because of you, his mystery girl.

You leaned back on your elbows and cocked your head at him. “What ails you, Mr. Black?”

“That depends. How much do you bill per hour?”

“Fortunately for you, I’m in a generous mood so I’ll throw in a free session. Consider it my pro-bono work.”

“How kind of you,” Regulus said with a serious expression. “My brother’s been nagging me to see a mind healer for years. All that childhood trauma, you know.”

A small smile tugged at your lips, revealing a set of dimples that he found rather charming. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.”

“My brother is Sirius. I’m Regulus, remember?”

You snorted in a very unladylike manner, which only made Regulus grin. There was something so unapologetically you in your laugh that was absolutely endearing to him. Regulus smiled and knocked his shoulder against yours.

You mimicked the action and smiled back at him. “All sarcasm aside, I was being genuine. If you want to talk about it, I’m here to listen.”

"Do you often offer therapy sessions to complete strangers?"

"Only to surly Slytherins with sad eyes and pretty curls," you quipped back. "And we're not strangers. I sit behind you in potions. We're practically best mates."

"You think my curls are pretty?"

"Like a little cherub's. Are you quite sure you haven't escaped from the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel? You look like one of Michelangelo's angels. Except with way more scowling." Regulus grinned. He got the feeling that you always said whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted. It was refreshing. "There's a smile. See? Our session is already progressing."

"I think you might get more than you bargained for with me, I'm afraid."

You met the challenge in his words head on. "Try me."

“You were right. I’m definitely guilty of brooding.”

“What happened?”

Regulus hesitated for a moment. He had never been the type of person to be candid with his feelings, especially not with someone he barely knew. Usually, he just kept his thoughts to himself and ruminated on them in the privacy of his dorm until he drove himself mad by overthinking, but your presence brought him an unexplainable ease. For once in his life, Regulus chose not to question it.

“I’ve had a long night,” he said, tucking his knees up to his chest. “I just got back from a date.”

“It didn’t go well?”

“It was…fine. It’s always fine. But it’s the same thing over and over again, just with a different girl.”

“I wouldn’t have taken you for a playboy, Regulus Black.”

Regulus chuckled. “I’m not some unscrupulous rake, I assure you.”

“Yes, that much is obvious from your use of the word unscrupulous.” You tucked your legs underneath you. “So why go on all of these dates if you find them so tedious?”

“It’s my mother,” Regulus explained. “She has this list.”

“A list?”

“Yes, a list of girls that I’m to court. Noble, pureblooded, proper ladies of society that my mother has deemed worthy of marriage.”

“You’re seventeen years old. Shouldn’t you be worrying about quidditch games and potions exams?”

Regulus nodded. “Yes, one would think. But my family has always been different. Since my brother left, my parents have been obsessed with grooming me into becoming the perfect heir.”

“How do you feel about that?”

He sighed. “Stifled. Exhausted. Smothered. I can feel the weight of their expectations weighing me down every second of every day.”

“I’m sorry, Regulus. That’s a terrible burden to carry.”

Regulus shrugged. “Others have it worse.”

“It doesn’t mean that your problem is any less heavy.”

To Regulus, the acknowledgement felt oddly validating. Even though you knew nothing of his circumstance, there was wisdom in your words and you delivered it delicately, like you actually cared to hear his troubles. You were devoid of the judgment he'd grown accustomed to and he found that rather freeing.

“It’s just…sometimes I think that I’ll never be the perfect son. My brother, he’s always been the brave one. Classic Gryffindor,” he said with an eye roll. You chuckled, but stayed silent. It was obvious that Regulus had a myriad of thoughts to unpack tonight and you were more than happy to just listen. “Sirius has never cared what anyone thought about him, least of all our parents. I admire that about him, but I just don’t think I’m wired that way. I care too much.”

“That’s not necessarily a bad thing,” you said softly. “Apathy is so common nowadays, finding someone who can admit that they care is refreshing. Though, I think it’s not without limits. You can’t please everyone. No matter what you do, someone is going to have something to complain about. You might as well be yourself.”

“That’s exactly the problem,” Regulus pondered. “All of these girls on my mother's list, I think they like the idea of Regulus Black, but he’s an illusion. It isn’t the real me.”

“Then who is the real you?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I’m just Reggie. I like playing quidditch and reading depressing literature and memorizing obscure history facts. I hate messy rooms and orange juice and anything that crawls.”

You smiled. “And what kind of girl does Reggie like?”

“Someone witty. Someone funny. Someone who’ll argue with me. Someone who doesn’t just nod and agree with everything I say."

"So what you're saying is that you don't want a nice girl?"

Regulus shook his head. "No, I think I need someone who challenges me. Who sees me for who I am rather than what I represent. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the girls on my mother’s list are lovely, but I don’t think they’d actually like me if they knew who I really am.”

“I don’t know, Reggie seems like a great guy. That Regulus bloke, on the other hand…” you scrunched your nose in disapproval.

“Hey!” Regulus chided, “I’m pouring my heart out to you. That took a lot of courage, you know.”

“You’re very brave, Reggie,” you said with a grin. “But you know what would be even braver?”

Regulus squinted in the rain as you stood to your feet. Lightning crackled over the horizon, illuminating you with an ethereal silver glow. You held out your hand to him. “Come dance with me.”

“Deathly afraid of being struck by lightning, remember?”

“Sorry, what?” You asked as you shimmied around him. It wasn’t graceful by any means. It was the goofiest thing he’d ever seen and yet he’d never been so enthralled. You danced without a care in the world and it made him genuinely laugh. “I can’t hear you over all the fun I’m having.”

"This is ridiculous," he said over the roaring thunder.

You shrugged. "Perhaps. But everyone's allowed to be a little ridiculous sometimes. Besides, I was asking Reggie not Regulus."

“Are you really trying to peer pressure me into dancing with you?”

“That depends,” you replied with a cheeky smile. “Is it working?”

Regulus conceded with a sigh and leapt to his feet. The youngest Black brother bowed like a proper gentleman. “May I have this dance, my lady?"

“You may, good sir.”

You grinned up at him as he took you by the waist and waltzed with you across the sand. Surprisingly, Regulus let you take the lead. He chuckled when you stepped on his toes and laughed even harder when you tried to twirl him. Towering a good foot over you, Regulus had to fully crouch for the maneuver to work.

Finally, you gave up the formality and just spun around in dizzying circles. There was absolutely no rhyme or rhythm to it. Just two idiots dancing in the rain with the biggest smiles on their faces.

Your coordination, or lack thereof, caused you to almost faceplant into the sand. Regulus yelped as you took him down with you. By the time you recovered from the laughing fit, the two of you were red-faced, out of breath, and laying side by side along the shore. He turned over to you and brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

“That was the most fun I’ve had in years.”

“See? There’s more to life than just being moody and melancholic.”

“So this mystery girl of mine keeps reminding me,” Regulus said with a smile. “You never told me your name, by the way.”

“Wow, you don’t even know my name? I’m offended, Reggie. We’ve only been in classes together since fifth year.”

“I—we’ve never been introduced—”

You broke out into a smile and giggled. You thought it was cute that Reggie was so easily flustered. “I’m just kidding, Reggie.”

He sighed in relief as you stuck out your hand. “Y/N. My name is Y/N.”

Regulus slipped his hand into yours. He cocked his head, studying your eyes and your smile and those cute little dimples.

Y/N. The last name on his mother’s list. The one he saved for last because he didn’t know who she was.

The French had a saying—le coup de foudre. The infamous phrase translated to a bolt of lightning or love at first sight. Regulus had long dismissed it as flowery prose, but thanks to his mystery girl, he started to think that maybe the Parisians were onto something because meeting you tonight felt preordained. A date with fate. Like a bolt of lightning streaking through his dark, endless skies.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

You grinned. “It’s nice to meet you, Reggie.”

Regulus smiled and laced your fingers together. He was frozen, it was raining, and he was fairly certain that you were both probably going to catch a cold, but he didn’t care. In that moment, as he stared up at the sky, blinking back the rain, and intertwining his fingers with yours, Regulus had never felt more content.

So no, Regulus did not believe in love at first sight, but love at second, third, and even fourth glance? He smiled a little as he gazed back at you, letting his gaze linger as he drank in that infectious laugh and sunny grin.

You made him think that maybe, just maybe, a girl like you could convert a skeptic like him into a devout believer.

#ok but when can i run my fingers through reggie's curls hm? when is it my turn to be happy?#regulus black #regulus black x reader #regulus black x you #regulus black x y/n #regulus black fic #the marauders #the marauders era

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basketonthedoorstepofthefbi · 22 days

Note

Spencer Reid x Read fic. Reid and Reader are friends, like best friends. Reader is always offering Reid donuts and listening to his fun facts and info dumps. It's one of those, they both like each other, but also are convinced the other doesn't like them.

Spencer is taking care of a slightly drunk reader whose grandmother called and asked why they're not engaged when they're younger sibling is married and expecting a child. At some point Spencer makes his ever classic comment about how it's safer to kiss and drunk reader, before being able to think, kisses Spencer. I hope that made sense.

OOPS I DID EXACTLY THAT

Safer to Kiss (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Word Count: 2899

Warnings: Mentions of food, drinking alcohol, mild cursing, outdated expectations of women, and lots of pining

A/N: Hi I wrote this in 2 hours and was extremely entertained, please enjoy and if you send me a fic request I'll probably do it bc this is my hyperfixation hobby right now and very much keeping the demons at bay xD @bxm-1012 thank you for dropping by my inbox! I am VERY tempted to make a part 2 of this, I hope you enjoy! c:

-----

The whole expiration date thing that women faced was, in your humble opinion, complete and utter bullshit. Here you were, slowly approaching thirty (definitely still told people you were twenty-five, when, in fact, you were actually twenty-eight), and the biological clock was ticking. No, you didn’t want kids. Not right now, anyway. Not when you were only two years into your career as a profiler for the FBI’s prestigious Behavioral Analysis Unit. Not when you still had tons of things to check off your bucket list - go to Europe, visit an independent bookstore in every state, pilot a helicopter.

And you didn’t buy into that whole ‘once a woman hits thirty, her stock plummets’ crap. Not usually, anyway.

But Nan’s phone calls always left you questioning your existence.

Back home in Ohio, your little sister, Kendra, had just announced her pregnancy. Three years younger than you (ironically, the age you told everyone you were), and married to a power plant manager, Kendra was living the dream of a woman from the 1950s. You tried your best not to look down on it, to wish for more for her - but Kendra was happy. She’d always wanted to be a mother, and you couldn’t imagine anyone better suited for the role. There was nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife and a mother, to devoting one’s life to it. You reminded yourself of that every time you spoke to Kendra. You especially reminded yourself of it every time you spoke to Nan.

That sympathetic tone your grandmother used when she said, “Oh, Button, you’ll find someone eventually, and you’ll be just as happy as Kenny” was like nails on a chalkboard. You resisted the urge to gag into your speakerphone and simultaneously rip your grandmother a new one. You wanted so badly to explain to her that you were perfectly fulfilled with your life.

You helped lock up bad guys on a weekly basis, you wanted to remind Nan. Your brain was one of few that had been chosen for a task force that caught criminals based on their behavior. It was amazing, working for the BAU, bouncing ideas off of your colleagues, finding a family within this small group of people that spent more than forty hours a week together.

Nan didn’t see it that way. She wanted you to be just like Kendra. She wanted you to have that white picket fence in the suburbs, with a broad-shouldered husband and two little tykes running at your feet. Domestic bliss just wasn’t in the cards for you, you’d decided. And that was okay.

You were still reeling from your conversation with Nan the night before when you walked in to work on Monday morning. It was Derek who caught the raging RBF first. “Woah, pretty girl. Pump. Your. Brakes.” He said, halting you just as you entered the BAU’s bullpen, holding a hand up to stop you.

“Good morning to you, too, Derek,” You flashed him a phony grin, and he rolled his eyes.

“And you’re grumpy this morning… why, exactly?” Derek asked, turning to walk beside you, essentially escorting you to your desk.

“Because I’m allowed to be?” You proffered, shrugging your shoulders, not really wanting to talk about it with him. You loved Derek - hell, you loved all your coworkers - but he was not the person you wanted to go to with these thoughts. You didn’t really want to talk to anyone about it, actually. You just wanted to ride the cranky train until it came to a complete stop.

Emily was returning from the kitchenette with a fresh mug of coffee and decided that the conversation concerned her as well. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“Y/L/N’s wearing her cranky pants this morning,” Derek filled her in.

“Oh, those so don’t match your blouse, Y/N,” Emily teased, winking at you with a smirk before looking at Derek. “Cut her some slack. No one likes Mondays.” Derek held up his palms defensively. “Alright, alright. Forgive me for being a concerned citizen.”

“It’s appreciated,” You told Derek genuinely before setting your bag down at your desk. “But unnecessary.”

It wasn’t until later in the morning, around ten, that anyone bothered you about your obvious bad mood again. This time it was Spencer, the one person you couldn’t possibly be annoyed with. He rolled on his desk chair around the partition that separated your workspaces, holding his hand out expectantly, like he usually did this time of day.

Without speaking, you opened the bottom drawer of your desk and pulled out the white bag of mini powdered donuts that you always kept in stock. They were your guilty pleasure snack, and one of the first things you and Spencer bonded over when you started at the BAU two years ago. That, and the fact that you were the closest agents in age, was how you got along so well so quickly. Over several cases, varying in degrees of intensity, you and Spencer became really great friends. Best friends, actually.

There wasn’t anyone else in your life that you trusted more than Spencer Reid.

You opened the bag of powdered donuts and shook one haphazardly into Spencer’s palm, then grabbed one for yourself. Silently, you cheers-ed your donuts together, and ate them simultaneously, making weird-but-comfortable eye contact as you did.

“Derek says you’re in a bad mood today,” Spencer pointed out with a teasing smirk on his face. A smirk, and white sugar blanketing his upper lip.

“Derek’s full of shit,” you grinned after swallowing your snack, the smile on your face totally facetious. “I’m extremely happy.”

“I can tell,” Spencer snickered as you set the powdered donuts back in your snack drawer, closing it with a clank. You watched as he brought both of his legs up into his desk chair, crossing them like a kindergartner.

The action made your stomach flutter. You’d felt strongly about Spencer for a really long time, probably a year and half, if you had to try and pinpoint it. But there was no use in going down that road with him. For one thing, he was your best friend, and you didn’t want to risk flushing the best relationship in your life down the toilet. For another thing, you knew it was one hundred percent impossible that he could feel the same way.

“What’d you do this weekend?” Spencer asked, and you could tell by the question that he was trying to discover the source of your poor attitude.

“Stayed home, caught up on chores,” You said, crossing your knees and leaning back in your seat, your expression telling him that you knew exactly what he was doing. As much fun as playing mind games with Spencer was, you decided to throw him a bone. “Spoke to my grandmother on the phone last night.”

Spencer nodded understandingly. “Say no more,” he said with a chuckle. “She gave you the whole ‘when are you going to get married’ spiel again?”

You nodded. “Unfortunately. I usually don’t let it bother me, but for some reason it’s just, like, lurking in the back of my mind today.” You shrugged your shoulders and exhaled through your nose. “What about you?” You asked.

“What about me?” Spencer arched a brow, and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“What’d you do this weekend?”

“Oh,” Spencer began, pursing his lips for a moment, like he was hesitant to tell you. “I actually went on a date.”

Your stomach flipped. “Oh yeah?” You choked out, forcing a smile. “Who with?”

“That girl, Lisa, from the coffee shop, the one you told me wouldn’t stop ‘ogling my boy band hair’,” Spencer held up air quotes when he repeated your words from memory.

You recalled the cute barista from the coffee shop just down the highway from Quantico, a popular morning stop for agents on their way to work. You tried to stop the jealousy from turning your blood into fire. “How was it?” You asked, trying to resist the urge to sit on the edge of your seat, trying not to hang on his every word.

Spencer shrugged his shoulders. “It was okay. She was very nice, but there just wasn’t…” he trailed off, gesticulating as the words failed to come to that supercomputer brain of his.

“It was like a donut without powdered sugar on it?” You suggested with a small chuckle.

“Yeah,” Spencer agreed, nodding, meeting your eyes and smiling, mildly amused. “Exactly.”

Spencer went back to his desk a few minutes later, and the rest of the day went on. It was quiet, especially for a day at the BAU. There were, weirdly enough, no open cases right now, so you spent the day catching up on paperwork, which there was always plenty of.

You caught the elevator about ten minutes after five with Spencer in tow, and you held the door open for him. It was just the two of you as you made the descent from the sixth floor, and Spencer leaned against the back wall. “Plans tonight?” He asked.

“Not really, no,” You said, shaking your head. “Why, you want to do something?” You asked.

Spencer nodded. “There’s this landscape and nature photography exhibit at one of the galleries downtown,” he said. “Might be fun. There’s this artist, Milton Harvell, who takes photos of renowned locations around the world but zooms in on an obscure detail and gives the framed photograph to the person who correctly guesses the location.”

You smiled slowly at that. You loved it when Spencer went off on one of his tangents. You found it completely adorable. “It’s actually quite fascinating,” Spencer went on, an amused tone lining his voice, making it sound lighter. “Kind of like a Where’s Waldo, but in reverse. There was this one photograph he took of the Louvre in Paris, but he zoomed in really tightly on a young boy enjoying an ice cream cone. He even went so far as to edit the photograph to make it look like it was a different time of day. The four thousand and eighth person to view the photograph was the person who guessed the correct location.” Spencer’s head bobbed and he was smiling like an idiot.

God, you were down bad.

“Was the four thousand and eighth person… you?” You asked, narrowing your eyes at him scrupulously and allowing a teasing grin to cross your face.

“The photo’s hanging in my living room,” he confirmed.

You laughed softly. “Will there be alcohol at this function?” You asked him, and he nodded.

That was all you needed to hear.

— — —

You and Spencer went straight to the art gallery from work, sharing a cab rather than bothering with your cars. You immediately bought a glass of red wine, and began to follow him around the gallery. You weren’t an art aficionado, not by any means, but you enjoyed looking at beautiful things, and you especially enjoyed spending time with Spencer that wasn’t hunched over a dead body or trying to map out a killer’s comfort zone. It was a rare occurrence, so you tried to soak it all up as much as possible.

Plus, your Nan’s words were still lingering in the back of your head. It’ll happen for you someday, Button. Men just don’t find you strong, career types attractive. Maybe you should soften up your look a little.

You downed your first glass of wine within ten minutes, and caught one of the catering staff passing out champagne almost instantaneously after. The champagne fizzled down your throat as you strolled with Spencer through the art gallery, listening intently as he went on about each piece, rattling off whatever contextual knowledge he had. But you were a little bit biased; you could listen to him list different types of soil and find it interesting.

After the glass of champagne came another glass of champagne, and by the time you made it to the main exhibit Spencer wanted to see, your cheeks were flushed. It wasn’t that you couldn’t hold your alcohol; rather, it just made you a little bit silly. Your inhibitions were lowered, just like it would affect anyone. But with your arm looped through Spencer’s and your Nan’s nagging message still in the back of your mind, you were perhaps a little more loose than usual.

As Spencer examined the exhibit, you tapped your foot, unable to keep still, and scanned the open space. Your eyes landed on another patron of the gallery, a conventionally handsome man about your age, and you found yourself unlooping your arm from Spencer’s, subconsciously not wanting to appear taken.

“Are you gonna go talk to that guy?” Spencer asked, and you snapped your eyes back to his. “Because you can, if you want to. Don’t let me stop you.”

It was almost like he was daring you to. Spencer’s jaw seemed tense as you examined his expression, the way his gorgeous brown eyes darted from the man and back to you. “You don’t mind?” You asked, arching a brow, almost like a challenge.

Spencer shook his head, his lips pursed. “Not at all. I’ll wait here for you?”

You nodded, and turned towards the man. There wasn’t any harm in getting a guy’s number, right? Your feelings for Spencer were a lost cause, anyway. Plus, as Nan liked to point out, you weren’t getting any younger.

The man’s eyes locked on yours and he seemed to understand that you were about to speak with him. He met you halfway, and you shook his hand. “Malcolm Greene,” he introduced himself, and you spouted off your own name in return. “You’re not here with that guy?” He asked, jerking his chin over to Spencer. Your eyes followed Malcolm’s, and you saw Spencer with his body turned towards the photography exhibit, but his head turned to the side, as if he were keeping an eye on you with his peripheral vision.

“Yeah, I am,” you said, and Malcolm’s head inclined to the side. “I am. I’m here with that guy,” you panicked, suddenly realizing in that moment that you weren’t interested in speaking with Malcolm. No, you had absolutely no interest in spending your time with any other man but Spencer Reid. “I just, uh…” Your cheeks flushed, and you stifled an awkward laugh, anxiously trying to come up with some excuse. “I came over here to tell you that your shoe was united.”

Your eyes followed Malcolm’s down to his shoes, which were loafers. Laceless loafers. Malcolm’s mouth opened as if to point this out to you, but you managed to stammer words out first. “Ok, well, have a great night, goodbye!” You turned on your heel and marched back over to Spencer, your cheeks red as you reached out for his arm.

Spencer furrowed his brows down at you as your arm gripped his. “I need another glass of wine,” you confessed.

Twenty minutes later, after two more glasses of wine and a very watchful eye out for Malcolm, you and Spencer left the art gallery. You were awfully giggly on the cab ride back to your place, cracking puns and humming along to the radio intermittently. Spencer seemed to be amused, but more so concerned with getting you home in one piece.

As he walked you up the stairs to the door of your apartment building, he was teasing you about your conversation with Malcolm, which you still hadn’t told him completely about. “I still can’t believe you didn’t get his number. You were talking with him for exactly two minutes and twelve seconds. What, in that short of an amount of time, could have turned you off to him so quickly?” He pondered aloud, a playfully mocking tone lining his voice.

“Listen, I shook his hand! I had my fun!” You exclaimed, bursting into laughter as you leaned against the handrail of the stairs that led up to the door. “Good, clean fun!”

“You know, the number of pathogens that are passed during a handshake is staggering. It’s actually safer to kiss someone,” Spencer rattled off, and your eyes snapped to meet his.

You don’t know what took you over. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe it was the way the street lamps reflected in the irises of his eyes, or how you stood just a few inches away from him. Maybe it was his stupid tweed blazer, how he looked like a tenured art history professor despite barely being thirty years old. Maybe it was the way he smelled like pine and printer ink, a combination you wouldn’t have ever thought was attractive.

But when Spencer said that, you stood up on your toes and kissed him. It was slow and innocent at first, until it passed the border into lingering, and Spencer’s hands found your hips, pulling your body closer to his. There was a cool night breeze that filtered through the space between your bodies, and by the time you pulled your lips away from Spencer’s, and slowly opened your eyes, you were completely red in the face and breathless.

No, that certainly wasn’t the safest choice you could have made.

——

read part 2 here

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #basketonthedoorstepofthefbi #criminal minds spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x fem!baureader

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sataraxia · 11 months

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jerk.

earth42!miles x fem!reader

summary: you haven't heard about him for a whole week, what a 'jerk'. (wc: 3.9 k, kinda short and a dumb blurb)

warnings: cursing, a kind of suggestive? line at the end.

a/n: it's the first time i publish something so maybe it's kinda bad idk, and also this isn't angst miles is actually the best man ever pls i just wanna hug him. aand english isn't my first language so pls pls let me know if i spelled something wrong!

"I heard that kiki was invited to prom in the most romantic way possible, I'm so jealous."

"oh god, yeah, I wish I had a boyfriend like hers, or well, just a boyfriend".

You were biting your nails right now, looking everywhere but at your friends, what a topic, huh?

“hey, your boyfriend already invited you?”

And there was the question, you just looked lazily at them “uh, sure”

The truth was that you hadn't been talking to Miles for a week or so, and this was exactly why.

You always understood that maybe he didn't like a lot of things about high school, and you never complained about it, but this time, it was something important to you, and he didn't seem to care.

"baby, it's just a dance, I don't understand why you're acting like it's such a big deal." he said while not even looking at your direction.

"maybe it's a big deal that you're being a jerk about this."

Yeah, that conversation didn't end well, you haven't heard from him since.

The thing was, you don't do a lot of couple things publicly, and it's slowly starting to affect your mind, maybe he didn't want to be seen with you, or someone couldn't see him with you, the thought alone causing you to shiver.

You spent the rest of the day distracting yourself with your friends and your homework, secretly waiting for a message from him to appear on your phone.

It did, but definitely not what you expected.

miles <4: 'i’m back in town, wyd?'

Oh.

You didn't know whether to be happy that he wasn't ignoring you, or angry that he didn't give the last discussion more than a thought.

You decided not to let it go this time, and not even look at the text.

Of course, that was stupid, but so were you.

It wasn't more than two hours, he was already knocking on your window, and once you let him in, he just looked at you, deeply.

“wanna’ tell me what’s up with you, darling?”

That was not affectionate, he was annoyed, mocking, you realize.

“nothing.” you couldn’t look at him when you were lying, he knew that.

“i thought you were the one who opted for that communication bullshit, cmon.”

“where were you?”

“work” the tone was defensive, almost secretive, it was always like that when he mentioned something about the prowler, you never talked a lot about it.

“you could have told me”

“thought you didn't want a jerk talking to you?”

“yeah, but you’re still my boyfriend, Miles, we argued, and I didn't hear about you for a whole week.”

“sorry.”

That's what made your veins boil the most, he was never mean, disrespectful, or a jerk.

He always knew when to say sorry or when he had done the wrong thing, that meant he didn't really care about the problem that kept popping into your head, he didn't see it like a problem at all.

And that only made you feel dumber, maybe you were overreacting, again.

“it’s okay, i just missed you”

That's all you had to say for him to look at you with those eyes that made you feel like the most special woman on earth, that made any insecurity disappear just as the space between your bodies did.

“i missed you too.”

Of course, he stayed the whole night with you.

The next afternoon, when you entered your room, you saw a package on your bed, with a note on top of it

“I couldn't go to prom if my girl wasn't wearing my color, be at your door by eight o'clock.

luv ya, miles.”

Inside the package was a beautiful dress, vibrant purple, obviously.

This was definitely the man of your dreams.

+bonus:

Eight o'clock, and he was with his motorcycle at your door.

"you are breathtaking, love" he said and you approached him to give him just a little kiss, while smiling.

"thanks for all this, but I thought it wasn't a big deal?" a smirk adorned your face.

"it was a big deal if you were calling me a jerk about it" you grabbed his waist as you settled on the bike.

"sorry about that." a little peck on the cheek.

"you'll have time to apologize to me, don't worry:"

#writing #writers on tumblr #oneshots #across the spiderverse #miles g morales #miles morales #miles 42 #miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles morales #miles morales fluff #earth 42 miles morales x reader #the prowler #miles the prowler #miles morales x y/n #sataraxia

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ladykailitha · 4 months

Text

The Harrington Pattern Part 3

Hello! I'm going to be posting this one straight through on Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays until it's done. I've got three more chapters completed after this one. Though there maybe a small hiccup as I might finally be moving cross country. I will keep you posted.

Here we have Steve finishing up the last of the comments and he gets one visitor too many.

Part 1 Part 2

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

Steve was sitting at the table with Mike. He had shown him how to make the tassels and handed him the leather strips to just let him go to town.

He was putting in the metal rings in the armholes of Mike’s tunic for the tassels to be tied to.

After awhile Mike looked up from his work. “What made you get into sewing?”

Steve looked up at him and just stared at him a moment. “I about to say the most rich boy sentence in existence and if you laugh at me, I won’t finish your tunic.”

Mike raised an eyebrow and then scoffed. “Whatever, man. You don’t have to tell me.”

"I got fascinated by it,” Steve explained, “when my mom took me to a tailor to get a suit made for me for my first piano recital when I was eight."

Mike’s jaw dropped. “Seriously?”

“It was so interesting, dude,” Steve insisted. “I was more interested in it then the piano lessons.”

“Wait,” Mike said, “you play piano?” He screwed up his face confusion. “I didn’t know that.”

He shrugged. “I mean, I quit when I got to high school because it was at the same time as basketball and my dad wanted me focus on sports.”

Mike waved his hand at the tunic in Steve’s hand. “Piano wasn’t good enough for your dad, but sewing was?”

Steve barked out a bitter laugh. “There is no way in hell my parents know about this, dude.”

Mike reared back and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I sew by hand,” Steve explained, “because there is no way in hell my mom would let me use her sewing machine.”

Mike’s frown deepened. “You did all this in secret? What the hell?”

“What would your dad say if you took up sewing?” Steve muttered darkly.

Mike blushed and ducked his head. “Probably that it was girly.”

“And yet the tailor I went to was a man,” Steve pointed out. “So how does sewing make you girly but most tailors are men make sense?” Mike just shrugged because it didn’t. “Also while we on that bullshit, why is a tailor seen as an honorable profession when a seamstress has the connotation of being associated with sex? Like what the fuck?”

Mike’s ears burned as he deeply regretted bringing it up.

“Just finish those tassels, man,” Steve huffed going back to his own work.

Mike did as he was told and bent back over his tassels.

All week long people were coming in and out of Steve’s house so often that Steve was startled by the knock at the door.

He was annoyed. He was literally an inch away from finishing Will’s extension and the interruption was decidedly unwelcome.

To say he was surprised when Officer Callahan was standing there looking as much if not more annoyed than he was would be an understatement.

“Uh...” Steve muttered. “How can I help you, Officer?”

“Hey, Harrington,” Callahan said with a heavy sigh, “it seems your neighbors are complaining that you’ve been having people coming and going all hours of the day and night. They think it’s been pretty suspicious.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow and Callahan huffed out a laugh.

Steve did some heavy thinking to make sure he didn’t have weed out before he said, “Nothing shading going on, I promise, Officer. Just being making costumes for the Ren Fair coming up this weekend and all my friends keep stopping by for last minute fittings.”

Both of Callahan’s eyebrows went up. “What now?”

Steve waved him in. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

Callahan looked around him, but followed Steve into the house with a half shrug.

Steve brought the police officer into the kitchen where he had been working with the aid of the natural light streaming through the big windows. On the table there was Will’s tunic with its inch of ribbon to go. There were bobbins of thread, spools of ribbon, and swaths of fabric literally covering almost every inch of the table.

“I’m just putting on the finishing touches on Will Byers’s costume,” Steve explained. “You remember Will, don’t you?” His smile was just this side of innocent.

Callahan coughed. Because of course he did. Everyone knew who Will Byers was.

“Right,” he said scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I’ll be sure to pass that along. But maybe tell your friends to come during the day?”

Steve smiled brightly. “Oh of course, Officer. This is the last one I’m working on, though. And Will will be stopping by this evening.”

“You sure this is the last one?” Callahan asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

“Oh yes!” Steve said. “The first day of the Fair is on Thursday and we’re going all three days.”

Callahan nodded. “I’ll leave you be then.”

Steve showed him to the front door. Callahan stopped.

“Is this Fair thing any fun?” he asked nervously.

“I’d like to think so,” Steve said with a half shrug. “It’s like the State Fair, so it can get hot and dusty, but there are jousting and sword fights, little plays at night. Things like that.”

Callahan chewed on the bottom of his lip before he nodded curtly. “See ya, later, Harrington.”

“Bye, Officer!”

He slammed the door and went back to finishing the tunic.

Once he was done, he held it up to the light. You couldn’t even tell where the extra inches were. It looked seamless.

He yawned and stretched, feeling please with himself. He looked at his watch. He still had plenty of time before Mrs. Byers brought Will over for the final fitting.

So Steve wandered over to the sofa and laid down. He figured he could a few winks before then and let himself drift off to sleep.

Steve was woken by the sound of someone pounding on the door. He looked out the window, but it was still light out. He sat up and looked at his watch again to see that only an hour had passed.

He got up and before he could even reach the hallway whoever it was started knocking again.

“Hold your horses, man!” Steve yelled.

He threw open the door, annoyed for the second time today. But at least this time it was a far more pleasant a surprise.

“Eddie!” he greeted. “Were we hanging out today?” He didn’t think they had anything on with it being so close to the Ren Fair.

“Nope!” Eddie said with a grin. “A special delivery!”

Steve’s eyes lit up. “Holy shit! They’re ready?”

Eddie pulled out a long thin box and handed it over. Inside were two brown elf ears.

“And they’ll match?”

Eddie tilted his hand back and forth. “As close as we could without the recipient being there.”

Steve hugged him. “Thanks, man. This is going to mean a lot to Lucas.”

Eddie cleared his throat and reluctantly stepped back. “I’ve got band practice, but I wanted to drop these off so Lucas can have them before we go to the Ren Fair.”

“I appreciate it,” Steve said, his cheeks dusted pink. “I’ll see you on Thursday.”

“Yep!” Eddie said, skipping backwards and almost falling off the porch.

Steve jerked forward, but Eddie righted himself before he could fall.

“Bye.” Eddie turned around and practically ran back to his van.

Steve shook his head fondly. He went back inside, but he knew it was useless to try to nap some more. He was wide awake and maybe a little excited, too.

So he went to get make himself some dinner before Joyce and Will arrived.

For the third and final time that night there was a knock on Steve’s front door. At least this time he was ready for it.

He opened the door to reveal Joyce and Will. “Come on in. I just finished it up this afternoon.”

“It’s so sweet of you to do the final alterations,” Joyce said. “It really was a big help to Claudia and me, so we got together and made you brownies as a thank you.”

She shoved the plate in his hands and with her eyes dared him to refuse.

Steve would admit later that he thought about protesting until the smell of warm chocolate hit his nose.

“Oh wow,” he murmured. “They smell delightful.”

Joyce smiled. “Let’s see it then. El has been going on and on about the gold trim on her dress for days and I can’t wait to see Will’s.”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Byers,” Steve said brightly. “Follow me.” He led the way into the kitchen. “Is Nancy and Jonathan going to come to the Fair?”

Joyce and Will shared a glance behind Steve’s back.

“No,” Will said bitterly. “I even told Jonathan that he didn’t have to dress up, but he doesn’t want to go.”

Steve hummed. “Maybe once he sees how much fun you had on Thursday he’ll want to join us for Friday or Saturday.”

Will’s eyes lit up and Joyce smiled fondly at Steve.

“Perhaps,” was all she said.

They reached the kitchen and Will gasped. His tunic was a simple warm brown color but the gold trim just brightened up the whole thing and gave it a rich feel to it.

“Oh Steve, it’s beautiful,” Joyce whispered, giving Steve’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Put it on, Will,” Steve instructed. “It’s going over a shirt and belted so we won’t need to check width, just length.”

Will nodded and pulled it over his head. It fell to the perfect place just over the kneecap so that when Will belted it, it would be above his knee.

“You can’t even tell inches were added,” Joyce said. “Do you like it, Will?”

“Yeah,” he replied with a huge grin. “It’s even better than I imagined. Thanks, Steve!”

He leapt on Steve to give him the biggest hug. Steve staggered back a step but caught the lankly teen and hugged him back just as fiercely.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Joyce playfully swatted her youngest son. “I can’t believe that even with me adding two inches to the hem after we measured still wasn’t enough to counteract your growth spurt!”

Will blushed. “Sorry, mom.”

She just grinned and kissed his cheek.

“Well it looks like we’re all ready to go,” Steve said with a smile. “I can’t wait for Thursday.”

Will smiled back. “Me either!”

****

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @thespaceantwhowrites @paintgonewrong @mogami13 @beelze-the-bubkiss

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #steve is a history nerd

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drudyslut · 5 months

Text

— summary: a year after rafe had completely walked out of your life he shows up at your doorstep after hearing rumors that you’d had his daughter.

— warnings: smut! 18+ toxic relationship, cheating, arguing, rafe is slightly jealous, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, slight degrading, lots of praise, daddy kink, angst, soft!dom!rafe, no happy ending (besides rafe being allowed shared custody of his daughter).

— note: part two is here! i got this request for part two of hate that i love you and i honestly just couldn’t not do it. like oooooh yes yes yes. she’s kind of a long one, but not too bad? hope y’all enjoy<3

read part one here !

❥ hate that i love you (pt. 2) — r.c

It had been a year since you had told Rafe Cameron that you loved him, a year since he’d completely stepped out of your life, leaving you with no true explanation.

You had finally moved on though, you were finally happy with your life, dating someone who loved you, respected you, and most importantly, he loved your daughter as his own.

You’d thought about Rafe every single day though, the thoughts of ‘what if’ filling your mind more than they didn’t, and you hated it. You wished you’d gotten a true explanation, anything other than the bullshit line he fed you- “You can’t love me! No one can love me, i’m unlovable Maybank, okay?”

The words ran through your mind every single day for an entire year, and what made matters worse? Your daughter looked just like him, making it harder to push him from your mind, making it hard to forget how hard you had actually fallen for him, how much you wished he would have given you a chance to prove that you did in fact love him.

You’re pulled from your thoughts, the sound of your doorbell ringing through your ears making you silently curse and pull your hands from the dishes you were doing.

“Who the fuck? Everyone knows Nevaeh naps at this time” you say under your breath, making your way to the door and swinging it open.

You open your mouth, ready to cuss whoever was ringing your doorbell during your very cranky baby’s nap time, but the words die in your throat, tears welling up in your eyes instantly when you see Rafe standing on the other side.

“Hi Y/N..” Rafe says softly, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans as he awkwardly swayed on his feet.

You swallow the lump in your throat, wiping your tears with the back of your hand and clearing your throat, “What- What’re you doing here? I thought you left the island” you say, voice shaky as you try and stave off more tears from escaping.

He steps toward you, reaching his hand out to try and soothe you, but you take two steps back, not daring to allow his touch to reach you.

“Don’t- I- Fuck! What do you want Rafe?”

He lets his hand drop back to his side, a sigh leaving his lips as he drops his head. “I- I wanted to see you, and- and I had a question..”

You scoff, wrapping your arms around yourself as you try and blink your tears away. The pain of seeing his face was quickly being replaced with a feeling of anger, you knew he was about to ask about Nevaeh, and you figured this day would come eventually, but you didn’t expect it to be so soon.

“Save it, you didn’t wanna see me, you came here to ask about my daughter right? I assumed someone would eventually get ahold of you, i’m surprised you even care”

Rafe sighs again, “Y/N can I please just come inside? Talk to you?”

“I don’t think Carter would like that very much”

Rafe’s head whips up, his head tilted to the side and brow knit in confusion, “Carter? Who- Who the fuck is Carter?!”

You laugh darkly, “Carter Young, my boyfriend. Been with him for about eight months, he loves me, he accepts the love I give him, and he loves my daughter like she’s his own!”

This only angered Rafe more, his feet carrying him through the threshold of your front door, slamming it behind him in the process.

“You- You have another man taking care of my daughter? Our daughter?”

Rafe takes two long strides toward you, causing you to quickly match his movements and step backwards. The tension in the air was thick, your ears ringing from the presence of the man in front of you.

“She’s my daughter, Rafe! MY daughter! She doesn’t even know who you are, and you’re to blame for that! Not me! Carter loves us, he takes care of us! Why can’t you just let that be? Live your goddamn life, and leave us out of it!”

Rafe continues walking toward you, making you back up until your back hits the kitchen counter. Your fingertips grip at the countertop so tightly you were sure your knuckles were white.

Rafe places both of his arms on either side of your body, hands placed firmly on the counter as he dips his head down toward your ear. His lips ghost over the lobe of your ear, the feel of his breath fanning over your neck sending a shiver down your spine.

“She’s my daughter too, and if you would have fucking called me, I would have been here for her, so you’re to blame just as much as I am”

His voice was low, and gravelly, tone dripping with anger as he kept you trapped, back pressed harshly into the counter top, his arms caging you in, giving you no room to escape.

“R-Rafe. I- You need to go”

Rafe tsks, shaking his head and exhaling deeply, “ ‘M not going anywhere, Maybank. You know you miss me, you don’t fucking love Carter, you just think you do”

Rafe’s words have your ears ringing, the words that had just fallen past his lips the exact same ones he’d told you about himself a year ago.

“I- I do love him! He’s good for me, you’re not”

He dips his head down farther, his lips lightly scraping across the sensitive skin on your neck, making you suck in a sharp breath and squeeze your eyes shut.

He begins leaving sloppy kisses over the length of your neck, his tongue darting out and licking a stripe up your neck and to the lobe of your ear, teeth grazing at the skin softly. You sigh in content, palms flat against his toned chest as you push him back.

“Fuck it, kiss me” You beg, voice shaky as his blue eyes burn down into you.

Rafe wastes no time, his lips on yours in seconds. He bites down on your bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth and sucking on it lightly. You let out a high pitched moan, Rafe taking the opportunity to force his tongue into your mouth.

The sounds of your heavy breathing and low whimpers bounce off the walls of your kitchen, teeth and tongues clashing together as Rafe digs his fingers into your sides.

“Nevaeh is sleeping, let’s go upstairs, my room” You say against his lips, to which he grins in satisfaction.

He lightly taps at your ass, silently telling you to jump and straddle him. You quickly obey, jumping and wrapping your legs around his torso, his hands both planted firmly under your ass as he held you up and began walking you toward the stairs and into your bedroom.

Once inside your room he drops you to your feet, closing the door softly behind him, leaving it unlocked despite your pleas for him to lock it, his mind hoping that Carter would come home and find his ‘perfect princess’ being fucked by her baby daddy.

Rafe pushes you backward until the backs of you knees hit the soft mattress, shoving you onto your back and climbing on top of you.

His lips find yours again, attacking you with sloppy kisses, teeth nipping and grazing over your sensitive skin and pulling soft whines from you.

“God I fucking missed you, Maybank” He pauses, grabbing your hand and placing it on his bulge, “You always drove me fucking insane, you feel that? That’s what you do to me”

You blush, his words making butterflies erupt in your stomach. “Shut up, you probably say that to every girl you sleep with”

“I don’t” He places a soft kiss to your lips, “Just you, it’s always been you, Y/N/N”

You sigh, the feel of his soft lips on yours igniting a fire inside you, a fire that only he could bring you. But you couldn’t let him have his way, no, you just wanted to get back at him for the way he’d left you. Make him hurt the way he’d made you hurt.

He pushes himself up on his palms, sitting on his knees and pulling his shirt over his head, exposing his toned and tanned chest and abdomen to you. You run your hands down his front, fingers grazing softly over his abs, your lust filled gaze meeting his.

You smile up at him, “I’ve missed this”

Rafe smirks, undoing the button of his jeans and pulling the zipper down, discarding his jeans to the floor and moving to strip you next.

He pulls your shirt up and over your head, casting it to the side. His hands fly to your bra clad chest, palms firmly grasping at your breasts as he groans, “Fuck, I missed these pretty tits so much”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, fingernails lightly scraping at the skin, leaving a trail of scratches down the soft skin.

“Lift up baby” Rafe softly demands, hands tugging at the hem of your shorts. You do as he says, lifting your ass off the mattress and letting him slide your shorts and panties down your legs.

He sucks in a sharp breath when he sees your glistening cunt, his fingers moving quickly to run through your slick folds, gathering your arousal on his long, thick digits.

“Such a pretty pussy, wonder if she still tastes as sweet?”

Your body heats up, high pitched whines falling from you as he teases your entrance with his fingers. He lays himself on his stomach, his head dipping down and leaving soft kisses on your aching cunt. He licks a long stripe through your folds and to your clit, flicking at the sensitive bundle of nerves and making you jerk your hips forward.

“Mmm, still so fucking sweet”

Rafe blows onto your core, making you whine, the cold air making goosebumps erupt on your skin. He dips his head back down, his lips wrapping around your clit. He sucks at the bundle of nerves, his tongue flicking and swirling around it and making your brain short circuit.

Your hands fly to the back of his head, fingers digging into his perfectly styled hair and tugging tightly at the locks. “Yes yes, fuck! Rafe!”

You press your head into your pillows, your back arching off the bed as he laps at your core like a man starved. He probes at your entrance with his tongue, fucking it into you before wrapping his lips around your clit again. You gasp when you feel two of his fingers sliding through your slick, pushing the thick digits slowly into your aching cunt.

He begins to quickly thrust his fingers into you, your gummy walls clenching around him tightly. He releases your clit from his mouth, lifting his head as his eyes find your face. He smirks in amusement as he watches you squirm beneath him, his fingers continuing their assault on your pussy.

“Fuck baby, I love the way you look when i’m fucking you with just my fingers, squeezin’ ‘em so tight, fuck can’t wait to fuck this tight cunt, need you squeezin’ my cock like this”

“Fuck, s’close Rafe! Don’t stop!”

Rafe chuckles, curling his fingers up and hitting at that spot deep inside you that sent you spiraling over the edge. “Wasn’t plannin’ on it princess. Come on, cum all over daddy’s fingers, be a good little slut”

You scream out in pleasure, head thrown back and toes curling as your release begins squirting from you, soaking Rafe’s hand and your sheets.

Rafe continues thrusting his fingers, helping fuck you through your high before he pulls them from inside you. You lay limp on your bed, breathing ragged and harsh. Rafe brings his fingers to your mouth, shoving them inside and down your throat, making you gag around them. “Taste yourself baby, soo fuckin’ sweet, yeah?”

You breathe in through your nose, closing your eyes and swirling your tongue around his fingers, sucking them clean as you hum in response.

“Ready to let me fill that pretty pussy up? Gonna br dripping with me when ‘m done with you, Carters gonna know who you belong to then”

He pulls his fingers from your mouth, strings of spit being pulled from your mouth. He pushes you onto your back and spreads your legs open. He takes one hand keeps your leg held open, his free hand shoving his underwear down his legs and kicking them onto the floor. He begins stroking himself slowly, your eyes tensely watching his movements, hips bucking forward as you crave the stretch you know he’ll give you.

He begins sliding himself through your slick, pushing the head in first before fully sinking himself inside you. He begins thrusting into you slowly and sensually, tears welling up in your eyes as you slowly roll your hips with his.

“Fuck, so tight baby. I love fucking you like this, so slowly, so deep you can feel me in your stomach”

You let fresh tears fall from your eyes, your hands flying around his neck and pulling his face toward yours. You leave a soft kiss on his lips as his cock thrusts slowly into you. You feel the fire growing inside you, the band threatening to snap again as Rafe’s tip hits at your g-spot repeatedly.

You suck in a shaky breath, tears flowing uncontrollably down your cheeks, mascara staining the skin as you open your mouth to speak. “I- Fuck, Rafe, I’m so close”

“Let it go baby, cum all over my cock, let me feel you make a mess”

You feel the burn from your core take over your entire body, your second release rushing out of you. You choke out a sob, toes curled and fists tightly gripping the sheets as Rafe fucked you through your high.

“Fuck, I’m right there baby, keep squeezin’ me like that”

Your pussy clamps down around Rafe, sucking him further into you. You feel his thrusts grow sloppy, his hips stuttering as his seed fills you.

He lets his head fall into the crook of your neck, his lips leaving soft kisses on the skin. You feel your heart shatter when he lets the words you wished he’d said to you a year ago fall from his mouth, “Fuck, I love you”

You silently choke out sobs as Rafe rides out his high. Your heart was in a million pieces, you missed him, and you did love him at one point, but you knew what was best for you, and it wasn’t him.

Rafe collapses on top of you, his breathing rough and ragged as he leaves kisses along the length of your neck.

You felt like you were suffocating under his weight and you begin pushing at his chest. He pulls himself from you, sitting himself up and staring softly down at you.

He frowns when he sees your mascara stained cheeks, the look of hurt on your face making his heart shatter.

“What’s wrong?”

You sit yourself up on your bed, swinging your legs over the side and planting your feet on the ground. You quickly stand and gather your clothes off the floor, dressing as fast as you could in silence as Rafe watched you.

You turn to face him, your hand tightly pressed against your chest. “I-I meant what I said, Rafe.. We can’t be together”

Your words make him fly to his feet, grabbing his briefs off the floor and pulling them up his legs. He rushes to your side, placing his hand on your back, his free hand hooking under your chin and lifting your head to meet his eyes.

“What- What do you mean? Let me take care of you and Nevaeh. Please Y/N, I-I love you!”

Your tearful gaze is on him, fresh hot tears falling down your cheeks as you give him a soft smile. “No you don’t, Rafe. You never did. I believe you want to be apart of Nevaeh’s life, and that’s okay with me, we can work out a custody agreement, but- you and I? We can’t be together.. I- I can’t do that to Carter”

“You just cheated on Carter with me? You can’t leave him for me? For our family?”

You softly shake your head no, wiping your fresh tears with the back of your hand. You place a loving hand on his chest, “No Rafe, I can’t. Carter will never find out about this, okay? I love him. I’m sorry.. I wish things could be different, but they can’t. But you can still see Nevaeh, you can have her one week i’ll have her the other week. We can spend holidays together, her birthdays, but besides Nevaeh, we have no reason to be around each other”

You see Rafe’s eyes fill with tears, shattering your heart more than it already was. You hated that you were doing this to him, but it was for the best. You needed this clean break, you needed this closure. A part of you would always be in love with Rafe Cameron, but it just wasn’t meant to be for the two of you, and you’d finally accepted that.

“I understand… Can I- Can I meet her now?”

You grab your phone off the nightstand, checking the time and seeing it was time to get her up from her nap anyways so you nod your head.

“Yeah, get dressed and meet me in her room. It’s the room right next to mine”

You walk out of the room, leaving Rafe to get dressed. You enter the room of your sleeping daughter, pulling her from her crib and softly rocking her. “Wake up baby girl, your daddy’s here, and he really wants to meet you. You’re going to love him, and I know he’s going to love you”

You hear her bedroom door being pushed open, turning your body to face Rafe, Nevaeh still sleeping peacefully in your arms.

Rafe smiles, taking slow and cautious steps toward you. He reaches his hand out, softly running his hand over the top of her head. “She- She’s beautiful, Y/N”

You smile up at him, giving him a soft nod, “She looks just like you. She has your bright blue eyes and already has your crooked smile”

Rafe lets his own tears fall down his face, his eyes taking in the beauty that was his daughter.

“Can I- Can I hold her?”

You nod your head, extending your arms out and placing her in his arms. He expertly holds her, rocking his body back and fourth as he coos and whispers down at her.

“Hi baby girl, i’m your daddy. I love you so much, and I promise i’ll always take care of you”

Your eyes well up with more tears, watching Rafe with your daughter, his daughter, making your heart swell. Even if you couldn’t have his love, you were forever grateful that your daughter would.

RAFE TAGLIST: @ivy-34 @rafeism @thelomlisrafecameron @rafegirly @f4ll-for-you @drewstarkeyslut @lorelai-lilith @starkeypankowsbae @lizcameron @m-1234 @dilvcv @thewitchesofart @rafesgfxo @unsaidjaelinrose @abbybarnesstuff @itsmytimetoodream @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @r1vrsefx @alexisbaumann2004 @yourfavborderhopper @moremaybank @mel119g @rafetopia @rafemotherfuckingcameron @jade-is-jaded @jjmaybankisbae @lexasaurs634 @softlilacarrest @fayerite @exhaustedbutelated @lyndys @urmyslxt @presleyanswrites @sierraluvz @carma-fanficaddict @rafescokenostril @madzzz0797 @slytherhoes @jscameron @jjsmarijuana @ijustwanttoreadlols

rafe masterlist | taglist form

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron angst #rafe cameron fanfiction #obx rafe cameron #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x maybank!reader #obx #obx smut #obx angst #obx fic

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minhosimthings · 4 months

Text

Dangerously

Symphony Smut Series Day 11: Charlie Puth's Dangerously

Lyric: I love you dangerously

Pairings: bf!Sunghoon × fem!reader

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, oral (f recieving), overstimulation, p in v sex, semi public sex, unprotected sex (highly not recommended), angry sex, hard!dom!Sunghoon, sub!reader, orgasm denial, reader wears a dress, degradation.

A/N: woohoo day 11 second post of 2024 everyone! Please enjoy my urge to be degraded by Hoonie through his oneshot

THE SYMPHONY SMUT SERIES MASTERLIST

Even though he didn't admit it, Sunghoon was a jealous man, whose jealousy couldn't ever be tested.

And so you had to be careful, whenever you went to one of his events, careful not to wear anything that would make other men stare and make Sunghoon give you the silent treatment for a week or so.

But unfortunately the fates are always against you and with a tiny piercing of their threads, you ended up here, in a massive ballroom, with your boyfriend talking to some people, completely ignoring you. Great reward for being the girlfriend of someone whose always present at buisness parties isn't it?

The dress you wore was simple, off shoulder, black, jewels decorating most of the seams, Sunghoon's present to you. But you hadn't expected all the dumb men there to keep staring at your collarbone. Your memories went back to eight grade, when you were discouraged from wearing anything which showed off your shoulders, lest the boys get distracted or some bullshit like that.

"Hoonie." You whined, clinging to your boyfriend's arm, as he took another sip of his pink champagne, taking not a single glance at you, "Hoon, oh fuck this, Park Sunghoon!" You more than screamed at him, which caused the other patrons at the bad to stare at you weirdly.

Sunghoon turned his head to look at you, with the coldest eyes, filled with icicles, as he smiled awkwardly to the bartender, and put his empty glass down, pulling you up with him as she stood. Adjusting his suit, Sunghoon began to walk, basically dragging you with him, you fastened to keep up with his pace.

"So fucking needy aren't you?" Sunghoon growled, pinning you against the wall, "You wanted more than one dick didn't ya you whore?"

Sunghoon's grip on your waist was tight, which made you feel the wetness in your panties.

“The party can wait.” He whispered against your lips before kissing you, this time more intensely than ever before and you hummed, burying your hand on his hair while the other stroked his chest.

He brushed his tongue against your lower lip and you opened your mouth to let him explore it, moaning lowly against his mouth.

He lowered his hands to the back of your thighs, not breaking the kiss, and lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and you yelped in his mouth.

"You needed me so bad didn't you?" Sunghoon teased, his breath hitting your skin.

He walked to the sink and placed you on the cold marble, his hands going under your shirt and experimenting with his touches on your bare skin.

You whimpered, shivers running through your whole body as his big hands roamed through your burning skin.

You pulled away, your forehead touching his, a whispered “Fuck” coming out of your lips. Your hands went to the hem of your dress and slowly pulled it over your head, leaving your torso bare besides your strapless bra.

Sunghoon drank you in, his adam apple bobbing when he swallowed and you felt embarrassed under his strong gaze, your hands slowly coming to wrap themselves around your stomach.

His hands went to your back and unclasped your bra, helping you take it off and toss it on the ground along with the rest of your clothes.

His hands came to the front and grabbed at both your breasts, squeezing them and making you moan into his mouth. His fingers teased at your hardened nipples and you arched into his touch.

His mouth started trailing down towards your neck, your collarbone, until he got to the valley of your breasts and looked up at you. Your mouth was open, eyes hazed and deep breaths were making your chest go up and down. What a sight.

He closed his mouth into one of your nipples and you whined, the warmth of his tongue circling around it making you grasp at his locks with a certain strength that made him groan around your skin. His fingers teased the other breast until he switched sides, feasting on your breasts.

He discarded your panties and ran his hands up your legs, his look never leaving your covered pussy. His hands stopped at your thighs as squeezed the flesh and you closed your legs instinctively.

“Hiding from me now?” He said, his tone deep and dominant making you swallow a whine as you spread your legs wider and he settled between them with a smirk.

He kissed your covered sex and you let out a low moan, his mouth traveled to your inner thighs, biting and kissing at the flesh, driving you insane.

“Such a desperate slut.” He said against your skin, grasping your panties and pulling them down. You gasped at the cold air hitting your dripping core and he groaned at the sight.

He smirked against you and put one hand over your hips to hold you still as he did wonders against your cunt. His tongue eating you out as if you were his last meal, ripping loud moans from your throat.

“Jesus, fuck, right there– Shit” A string of curses left your mouth and he grinned proudly, adding another finger to your torture, making you cry out, his name slipping out of your lips.

You felt the knot inside of you tighten, your pussy clenching around his fingers and Sunghoon knew you were about to cum.

"Hoon ah-ah no don't stop!" You all but screamed, as Sunghoon looked up at you, wiping his mouth clean. Edging, of course, was his brand. He loved seeing you on the brink of insanity just because of him.

"You think you get to cum after all that?" Sunghoon chuckled, placing both his hands on your hips, "As much I would love to fuck you right here, I want to see your cockdrunk face when I make you cum for me."

"There's a sofa there." You mumbled shyly, glancing towards the dark green sofa sitting idle in the corner of the bathroom.

You glance down at his still covered legs and crotch, the tent in his pants looked almost painful and you bit your lip. He noticed that and took you in his arms again, wrapping your legs around his hips, making your sensitive core grind against his trousers and you whined.

He gently placed you on the sofa kissing your lips hungrily and you led one of your hands down to his crotch, palming him through his trousers and he pulled away from your lips to groan, his forehead against yours.

Your mouth watered and your pussy clenched around nothing. He was bigger than he always seemed to be tonight.

He rubbed his cock up and down a couple times and lined it up with your entrance making you whine in anticipation. He slowly pushed into you and you pulled away to let your mouth hang open in a soundless moan.

“ah fuck, princess, didn't know you were such a cum slut for me.” He whisper-moaned against your ear and you hummed, your nails digging into his shoulders, definetly leaving marks to remind him for a couple days of this encounter.

“N-need more.” You said, your brows furrowing in desperation. You glanced down at his hand between your legs, your lower gut fluttering at the sight. He applied more pressure to the circles he was dancing over your swollen bud, the pleasure sending your head to lull backwards. You whimpered more, your legs beginning to feel like jello.

“You sound so pathetic.” Sunghoon spat, working his dick faster on your clit. You exhaled unevenly, your hand coming down on Sunghoon's bicep for stability.

You felt that familiar white heat beginning to ignite low in your belly, your cunt throbbing steadily. Your eyes squeezed shut. You were close— but Sunghoon knew that. He wasn’t going to let you come just yet. Without warning, Sunghoon halted his actions. You could’ve cried in that moment. Sunghoon grabbed your forearm, pushing you down onto the sofa.

“Hoon, please. I need to cum.” You whined, your head falling back into the soft material of the sofa. Sunghoon purses his lips at you, his hand running along the smooth skin of your leg, inching closer to where you needed his attention most.

Sunghoon did nothing but let out a cold laugh, at how pathetic you sounded for him.

Suddenly, Sunghoon began pounding into you. His hot breath fanned over your face as he rammed in and out of you, his length reached the deepest parts of you. You gasped, your hand reached up to grab his wrist that was busy squeezing your throat. Your eyes rolled back in your head and he slammed into you over and over. You were sure he was hitting you so deep that he was nicking your cervix. Just when you thought you couldn’t be more overwhelmed with pleasure, Sunghoon’s free hand snaked between your thighs, his thumb finding your clit, ghosting gentle circles over the sensitive nub. You squeaked out a moan, the pleasure overcoming your senses completely. Your legs began to shake from the stimulation, your lower belly muscles tensing from the overwhelming sensation. Your breath was shaking, the oxygen feeling as through it had completely left your lungs.

“F-fuck, where do you want me? Your mouth? Or should I fill you up?” Sunghoon grunted, his hand snaking around your front to firmly grab your breast, pinching your nipple between his fingertips.

You gasped, the stimulation for your nipple slipping you into the beginning of your orgasm. You didn’t answer him, the feeling of your impending climax completely taking over your body.

“Look at you cumming around my cock. Such a good fucking slut.” Sunghoon growled, his pace somehow quickening further. His hand reached up to your hair, grabbing a fistful of locks and pulling your head backwards. His other hand reached around to your throat as he bent down to kiss you from the intense angle, your orgasm taking over you entirely. Your toes began to curl beneath you, your pussy clamping around Sunghoon's cock that was twitching deep inside you. Your pussy clenched down around his length, hugging it perfectly.

“Fuck.” Sunghoon whimpered, his high hitting him like a train. Your spasming canal clamped down around him as he came in hot spurts, coating your walls deep inside of you. Your walls clenched around him, milking every ounce of cum from his length.

“You look so beautiful with my cum dripping out of you.” He spoke, running a hand up and down the back of your thigh. He pressed a kiss to your sore ass cheek from where he had smacked it.

“As much as I’d love to stay here and fuck you all night, I should go before everyone starts wondering where their favourite boy went.” Sunghoon said, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips.

"Get dressed sweetheart." Sunghoon picked up your clothes, and dusted them off, handing them to you, who was still dizzy from all the fucking.

"We'll have some more fun after we get home won't we?"

Taglist: @ramenoil @mynameisniya150 @demigodmahash + whoever wants to be tagged, send an ask my way!

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saiidahyunie · 1 month

Text

i wonder everything about us

minatozaki sana x f!reader || last part from ballroom extravaganza and pt.1

synopsis: your composure is starting to break, and it lands you in front of the very person that started it all.

warnings: fluff ; angst ; cursing ; alcohol ; arguing ; reader is a dumbass/conflicted ; misscommunication ; 127 doyoung and g-idle miyeon appear! ; dahyun, minju, and somi also have a small cameo ; tzushu and seuirene ship ; almost cheating sorta? ; kinda proofread

a/n: wrapping up the sha rich story here. enjoy! :)

there’s been more situations worse than this one. break the eggs and someone’s gotta make the omelet.

“who was that?”

you’re sitting on the couch while mina paces in front of you, arms crossed over with your chest in a self-soothing gesture. sana was sent back to your room, but you can’t help but wish that she was right here and next to you—it would make you feel braver than she was.

“well?” mina demands. “who?”

“my…she’s my girlfriend.” the lie you just spat tastes like ash in your mouth.

“she’s older.”

“not by much,” you protest. “only eight years.”

“eight—? y/n, you’re almost twenty-two. what are you doing with a woman nearly in her thirties?”

“i’m turning twenty-three in a month or so. don’t insult me.”

“i just don’t know what a twenty-nine year old woman would want with a college kid.”

“kid?” you scoff. “geez, that’s so rich coming from you. how old is your business associate again?”

“this isn’t about me, smartass. it’s about you getting involved with someone whose intentions are a big fat question mark!”

“so what?! why would it matter if i’m graduating next semester with my life ahead of me. stop treating me like how auntie was with you!”

mina stares at you, silently, and her lack of reaction only serves to piss you off even more. so you keep going:

“and sana doesn’t have any shitty intentions with me! she’s my—my girlfriend and she’s good to me! she treats me well and she likes me. she texts me everyday and she comes over all the time and—!”

“does she help with expenses?”

you’re stopped dead in your tracks. “what?”

“does she give you money? you haven’t complained about finances recently.”

“i never complain about fiances, mina.”

“i know, but i can always tell when you’re stressed about them and you haven’t been. so let me ask again: does sana give you money?”

“i—” you stammer with the words. you can see the deeper question in mina’s eyes, probing you. forcing you to be truthful. “she…”

“i think if you’re gonna ask y/n about her finances, it’s probably safest to talk to me.”

the both of you whirl around to look at sana. she has her arms folded, foot bent as she leans against the wall. her expression is polite but her gaze is flat, angry. the simultaneous relief and anxiety that swells within you is strong enough to make you unsteady, and you’re grasping at the arm of the couch.

mina, fortunately, is ignorant to this.

“what did you say?”

“i said if you’re asking about whether i give your cousin any money, your best bet is to come directly to me instead of interrogating her.”

“you’ve got a lot of nerve to say that shit to me when this was happening behind my back.”

sana just shrugs. “i just don’t appreciate what you’re implying.”

“and what exactly am i implying?”

“that i have shady intentions towards y/n, which i don’t.”

your heart in chest thuds, staring down at your trembling fingers, clenching them over your lap. mina’s eyes flicker towards sana’s richard mille. “that’s a nice watch. you make money?”

“mina.” you hiss.

“i make a comfortable living.”

mina scoffs and rolls her eyes, muttering something under her breath. “rich people bullshit,” you can faintly hear her say. sana doesn’t reply, face remaining placid. her and mina have a loaded exchange of looks, before your cousin falters, gaze flickering to you.

“you want dinner?” mina inquires.

you blink. “i’m…why?”

“answer the question.”

“i guess im hungry?”

“wonderful.” mina snaps her stare back to sana, voice hard. “what about you?”

sana’s tone is emotionless. “i could eat something.”

“great,” mina says, zipping up her puffer. “let’s go get some thanksgiving dinner then.”

—

you all pack into mina’s car to drive to some restaurant of her choosing, the silence tense enough to cut. when she parks alongside the street, she orders you out of the car, telling to secure a table.

stumbling out, your characteristic grace rendered to nothing due to your anxiety. you step inside the small, hole-in-the-wall pizza restaurant, and ask the hose for a three person table booth. seeing that sana and your cousin aren’t behind you, you allow the host to lead to the table that’s in a corner to the far end of the entrance. after three excruciating minutes, you see the pair walk inside. sana’s expression is blank, and mina’s is unreadable. this does absolutely nothing to calm your nerves.

they sit down, mina across from you and sana at your side. she places her warm hand over your trembling knee, thumb stroking your skin to calm you, grasping it, intertwining fingers. sana squeezes back for comfort.

“so,” you begin shakily. “um—”

“you lied to me,” mina interrupts firmly, eyes hard, reducing you to a feeble child. it angers you. “why did you lie to me?”

“because i knew you would do this. because i knew you were gonna say something about it to auntie sometime later.”

“about what?”

“my decisions. my life. the way i choose to live my life. it’s why you do shit like this.”

mina narrows her eyes, offended. “care to elaborate more?”

“come here under the guise of checking up on me. interrogate me.”

“i only came because i knew you were lying to me.”

“and i lied because i know how controlling you are just like auntie!”

mina’s expression sours. “i’m not controlling like her.”

“yes, you are.” you snap. “you’re either controlling or completely detached. you either forget to call me for two months because you’re busy or you do random check-ins with me everyday for a week. i’m twenty-two years old and you still treat me like this only because auntie’s health hasn’t been well.”

“i don’t have any other choice.” she says tightly. “i don’t know how much auntie has left with time, but—” mina catches herself off, jaw clenching, and looks away from you. you and sana. “we may not be related by blood, but i still consider you my family. i’m sorry if i came off as cold or unmoving, but you’re all i have left.”

sana shifts beside you. “maybe i should—”

“no, it’s fine.” mina says, and glances back up. brown eyes meet yours, a mirror image. “i was just about to leave anyway.”

“what?” you gasp out.

“you shouldn’t.” sana interjects.

mina waves a dismissive hand. “i’ve said everything i wanted to say. to both of you.”

“don’t go if you’re gonna regret it later, mina,” sana warns. mina barks a laugh, tightening her jacket. “if you wanna be apart of our family, sana, learn the way we operate. y.n and i don’t carry regrets.”

she pointedly glances at you and you respond with shaking your head, mouthing a silent no. without any further ceremony, mina shoulders her handbag, moving to step forward. however, she hesitates and looks back at you, stopping in place.

“if you want me to be convinced you can hold out on your one, then act like it. stop giving so much of a shit about what i have to say. i spout just as much crap as everyone else. it’s up to you if you want to ignore me if you want.”

speechless, your mouth is parted, but mina was already on her way out of the restaurant by the time you can think of any words. when you see the black streak of her car driving way, you sigh, burying your face in your hands.

“i’m such a bitch.”

“don’t talk about yourself like that,” sana says, voice firm but touch soft, stroking down the line of your back. “she told me in the car she was gonna leave.”

“why?”

“same reason she just gave just now. she said everything she wanted to say to both of us.”

“and what did she say to you?”

“a better question is what i did say to her.”

you can’t help with the rush of cold fear that grips you. “what did you say?”

“what i felt about you. what you are to me.”

and it’s not the truth because it can’t be the truth—mina would’ve throttled sana otherwise—but the tenderness in her voice implores you to look up from your hands at her, to believe her. she reaches over to brush your hair out of your face, eyes sweet like liquid candy, mouth curling to smile. you crumble, falling into her.

“i’m sorry. i’m sorry you had to put up with that.”

“it’s fine, sweetheart.”

“no, it’s not. it’s awful and it’s unhealthy and i’m dumping my baggage onto you.”

“i don’t care. i want to know everything about you.” you flush, and sana adds, “also, if you think that’s bad you should meet my family. i’ve grown up with struggles of not being up to par with my relatives and being the laughing stock because of my lack of success. it’s half the reason i’m calling out of thanksgiving tomorrow. that and the fact that i’m working.”

“what?” you gasp, sitting up. “you’re working tomorrow?”

sana toys with a lock of your hair. “people get injured everyday unfortunately.”

“we should do something.”

“you don’t want to eat here?”

“i get one dollar pizza with irene at least once a week. we should do something special.”

a grin cracks sana’s face in half, radiant. “what if i made us dinner?”

“you can cook?”

“of course i can. i even have a special bacon mac and cheese recipe.”

“but i don’t have bacon.”

“we can take the subway to the grocery store and then take it back to your house when i can cook. c’mon, it’ll be fun.”

you bite your lip to suppress a smile. sana kisses it free. when she pulls back, you lean into her palm, lashes fluttering against the skin of it.

“okay, you lead the way then.”

—

grocery shopping with sana is efficient.

she doesn’t linger in aisles to windowshop. sana simply grabs what she wants and goes, one hand gripping a pack of bacon and a box of mac and cheese, the other hand clasped with your own. they’re in and out within five minutes.

the subway ride is almost as quick but fun, which is a strange thing to have on the g-train but it’s true. sana crowds you against the pole, shielding you from the other passengers as she whispers her judgment of them in your ears, speculating that the married couple standing across from them is miserable, will always be miserable, because they can’t ever feel what you and sana do.

the game is mean-spirited, you know, but sana’s ridiculousness makes you laugh. makes your stomach bubbly and your body light, fizzy like you’re made of crisp champagne. as sana kisses the curve of your ear, you think that you quite like the idea of being in on an inside joke with her.

you’re stumbling into the apartment within the hour, teeth chattering from the cold. sana removes your coat and scarf, hanging them on your rack before taking the grocery bag and hurrying into the kitchen. she looks excited, her lips spread wide in a near-permanent grin. you settle onto one of the high chairs, watching sana waltz around your kitchen like it’s familiar to her. it must be at this point.

“so. bacon mac and cheese.”

“a family recipe,” sana says, pulling a pot from the bottom cabinet. “my grandma used to make it for my mom when she was a kid. growing up pretty poor so she says this was basically a delicacy to her.”

“i can relate. when i was little, my favorite thing to eat was those cup ramen noodles that mina and auntie used to throw bits of beef and chicken in.”

“cup ramen is always good.”

sana fills the pot with water, placing it over the stove top and setting the heat on high. she then walks to your fridge to pull out a bottle of prosecco. “this is fancy.”

“hardly,” you snort. “i got it for fifteen bucks.”

“all wine target the same whether it’s five or fifty dollars. take it from someone who drinks the fancy shit at parties,” sana says, popping the cork off. she grabs two glasses and files them halfway before passing one to you.

sana raises it. “cheers.”

“happy thanksgiving.”

so you and sana drink. relishing in the sweet, crisp burn of the prosecco as it goes down, the alcohol warming you instantly. sana’s eyes on you are equally warm and dangerously fond. you take another sip to swallow down the mutinous rise of hope.

soon enough, the water starts boiling and sana pours the macaroni in, stirring it. you like it. you like the look of sana in your kitchen, her ease. the domesticity implied. you basically want to sink into it.

you get off your chair to slowly approach sana from behind, sliding your arms around her middle and leaning your cheek against the curve of her shoulder. sana leans into you, and you rise up to your toes, pressing lips to her cheek, kissing sana softly. when she sighs, head tilting down, you kiss sana again. again and again. wanting a tattoo of your affection to be left behind.

dropping back to your heels, and sana’s gaze finds yours, soft as silk. she curls her hand into your hair and brings you close, mouth against your forehead, nose in your hairline, breathing in.

“go sit down,” sana murmurs. “finish your drink.”

you step away from sana, chest hollow like you’re leaving something behind.

—

sana feeds you bites of mac and cheese that tastes a bit burnt.

“a capricorn mars?” sana asks, lips around the same fork. she dips it back into the bowl to fish for more macaroni. “what the fuck is that?!”

“okay so, everyone has planet placements—asteroids too but that’s more specific—and each of the planets has a specific meaning. i already explained that your sun sign—”

“capricorn.”

“capricorn, right—was the core of your personality. your moon sign is your private face, or your emotional center. mercury is communication. venus is romance and aesthetics—which might be an additional for you. and mars is aggression and sexuality.”

“and mine is in capricorn?”

“yeah, and capricorn is the domicile of mars.”

“it means that capricorn and virgo are already ruled by mars. the placement feels natural.”

“ah.” sana’s arms tighten around you, setting you higher up on her lap. “so that means i’m naturally aggressive and sexual?”

“no,” you laugh. “it means that it’s just an easier fit. that there isn’t any friction between the planet and sign. like, capricorns are very expressive in their confidence and humility. grounded with their words and they don’t sugarcoat what they say, they mean it.” you say, tapping sana’s chin, tugging on it with your thumb. “and they do it straightforwardly. mars suits it.”

sana nips at your thumb. “like you aren’t.”

“i’m a gemini,” you say. “a dynamic sign. two sides to show to the world.”

sana grins, and you move your hand up pushing her hair back. “how do you know all this stuff anyway?”

“i had a light…astrology phase in high school.”

“astrology?”

“yeah. my stuff might be off, but that’s to the best of my memory. but i dabbled with oujia birds. summoning, that kind of shit.”

“summoning?”

“i never actually summoned anything,” you mutter, flashing. “none of the spells worked.”

sana laughs, which earns your glare. you shiver when she reaches up and traces the curve of your ear.

“this explains the bit of eye bags to sell the dark look i’m getting out here.”

“pfft,” you stifle a laugh, turning your head off to the side. “the eye bags were from an insomnia phase i had during my first year of college. i didn’t know how to function at times, and my roommate was genuinely concerned when i brought up my terrible last two years of high school. i think i might’ve scared her.”

“really?”

“that’s another story for later, but let’s just say that it wasn’t pretty if you saw me like that.”

“wow,” sana says, impressed with your growth and resilience. “i was totally normal during high school.”

“i see and believe that.”

the only warning before sana flips you over and pins you on the couch is a flash of teeth, a mean smile. you cry, “the macaroni!” but sana already has it safely on the ground, her other hand moving to tickle your ribs. you’re shrieking, jerking in her hold.

“don’t!”

“what?” sana asks, laying over you, fingers sliding up your waist. “you’re ticklish?”

“no.”

“i think you are.”

“i’ll kick you.”

“no, you won’t,” sana says, but traps your thighs between her knees anyway. she lowers her head, mouth warm against your neck. “you’re too sweet.”

“sana—”

she offers you no mercy. with a simple crook of her fingers, she’s tickling you, trapping you against teh couch as you squirm and giggle beneath her. sana’s hands dip past your shirt to find your bare skin, relentless. while you writhe, sana shoves her face into your neck and hums.

“y-you’re–sana, you’re gonna kill me!”

“no, i’m not.”

“i can’t—” you erput into another laughing fit, tears in your eyes. “i can’t breathe!”

“you’re such a baby,” sana says, but slides her hands away to rest them on either side of your head. once you’ve recovered, you wrap your arms around sana’s neck and secure her to you. sana kisses the ridge of your jaw, sinking into you with a deep exhale. as if expelling a weight inside you.

“do you want to watch a movie?” you ask, fingers toying with the ends of her hair.

“sure. something nice.”

“like what? a rom-com?”

“yeah. i like those.”

you laugh. “do you really? i was expecting you to be more of a different answer than that.”

“were you expecting action movies?”

“but you prefer romance?”

“if they’re good.” when you look at sana disbelievingly, defensiveness enters her tone. “what?”

“i don’t know. a lot of people didn’t like them because it set unrealistic standards. or, at least that’s what my ex said.”

“well, your ex was a fucking idiot,” sana says heatedly. “there’s nothing unrealistic about it.”

there’s nothing unrealistic about grand, sweeping gestures and spotanoeulsy confessing your undying love in the middle of an airport?”

sana raises her head from your chest to look at you. “not unless if you’re a coward.”

you snort, a slow start to what would eventually become a full belly laugh. sana’s expression sours with every giggle, but when you throw your head back and knock it against the arm of the couch, sana reaches out to cradle it. while you recover, sana chooses a move, fingers soothing the bump.

—

by the time the credits of the second movie roll, sana rises from her position on your chest to sit up. she rubs her palms over her face, yawning.

“i have to go,” sana says with some regret, her eyes half-lidded. “i have work in the morning.”

you want to protest but feel ridiculously for it, childishly selfish. instead, you give sana a tight smile and follow her to the door, grabbing her coat from the rack to help her in it. you then take her scarf, pretty purple and wooly in your hands, holding out to her. sana smiles and drapes it over her neck. the open door behind her lets in an icy chill, and she binds you against her, broad palms cupping your face.

you love sana’s eyes. it strikes you suddenly as she tugs you closer, dazzling brown swallowing your vision. you wish the whole world could be that color. it could be that beautiful.

“i’ll call you tomorrow,” sana says.

your voice is soft, too small in your throat. “okay.”

sana smiles and ducks down to kiss you, lips warm and sweet and awfully chaste. you surge closer to meet her, trying to deepen it, but she doesn’t let you. she simply pecks the swell of your bottom lip again and leans back to look at you. the overwhelming affection on her face sends a bolt through you, sends a shiver up your spine that she mistakes for chill. concern flares in her eyes as she takes the scarf from her neck.

“are you cold?” sana asks, already pulling it off, settling it over your shoulders. “is it because the door is open?”

“i—” you can’t speak over the wool that covers your mouth. sana sloppily wraps it around you, her own body heat bleeding into you, nestling sweetly like hot chocolate beneath your skin. after she’s thrown the tail over your head, she tucks the scarf under your chin and asks, “is that better?”

“yes,” you manage to croak out.

sana smiles again and kisses you for the last time. when she steps back, the distance hurts. “i’ll see you later.”

“see you soon,” you whisper out to her, hand lingering out. the last thing you see before sana locks the door behind her is her smile.

it almost hurts not to follow.

—

“y/n!”

you pause, just steps outside of the auditorium. turning to see doyoung, your thesis editor and a TA for the psychology and ethics class. you smile as he approaches you, adjusting your coat against the chill. “hi.”

“hey,” doyoung says, grinning. “you just watched the lecture, right?”

“yeah. it was great. i didn’t know you were gonna attend.”

“i didn’t know you would attend either,” he says. “if i did, i would’ve asked if you wanted to sit together.”

smiling, close-mouthed, unsure of how to respond to that. doyoung barrels on before you can settle on anything. “do you want to meet her?”

“who? the lecturer?”

“mrs. cho, yeah.”

suspended in time for a second, you blink. “you know her?”

“yeah! i was one of her research assistants about a year and a half ago. she’s great. do you wanna meet her?”

“uh—sure, i would love to,” you say, a bit mystified, trailing after him when he starts to walk back into the auditorium.

doyoung leads you towards the stage where a woman who appeared to be around your height stands, chatting amiably with one of your professors. when doyoung calls her name, she looks over to you, sending a broad grin.

“kim doyoung?” she asks. is that you?”

“yes, ma’am,” he says, climbing onto the stage, reaching back to help you up. “it’s really nice to see you again.”

“it’s great to see you! how are things?”

“great!”

“and you’re almost done right? got not long now before you’ll be on the way out into the real world.”

“yeah, i’ve got most of the things done before applying for graduation. i even do some editing for other students on the side. speaking of.” doyoung reaches back, setting his hand on your back to gesture you forward. “this is one of the students i edit for.”

mrs. cho shifts her attention towards you. noticing how remarkably pretty she was up close compared to sitting a few rows back. she has bright red hair that was noticeable from far, fair skin with rosy cheeks that encapsulate a bubbly personality when she spoke to the class. for some reason her laugh and mannerisms were similar to a familiar person. you couldn’t put your thumb to it, but the fact that her occupation was also in the medical field should’ve sent the alarms ringing.

“and who this might be?” she asks.

“y/n l/n. she’s a bachelors student in the pipeline for the masters program.”

“y/n–” her eyes shot up. you’re startled by the intense reaction of you, the way her jaw drops like the two biggest dots were just connected. “y/n l/n? are you actually y/n l/n?”

“uh.” you’re glancing at doyoung who seems confused as you were. “y-yes, that’s me.”

mrs. cho covers her mouth with both of her hands, hiding her smile. “my goodness that’s amazing! do you know sana?”

“sana?” your heart swells, stomach sinking as the realization slaps across you ten-fold. how could’ve you been so blind? one of sana’s closest friends, miyeon. miyeon. sana’s shown the pictures of her on that one hangout they had when they were in medschool, dressing up like boys with dad hats backwards and nerdy glasses that looked surprisingly cute and wished sana looked like that for you.

“no way.” you breathe out.

“oh my god!” miyeon echoes. “this is crazy!”

“who is sana?” doyoung asks, reminding you abruptly of his presence.

“my best friend,” miyeon eagerly replies, gaze unwaveringly on her face. “this is incredible.”

“you know me? or at least about me?” you ask, reeling. “sana…she’s told you about me?”

“of course she has! she talks about you all the time. she even mentioned that you were a psychology student, but i didn’t know that you studied at this university.”

your lips quick. “what a small world.”

“it definitely is. so tell me more about your degree. sana said that it had something to do with kids?”

“well, yeah. i’m studying child’s psychology with a cognitive-behavioral focus. doyoung’s helping me with my thesis right now actually.”

well, you might’ve just embarrassed yourself. doyoung already mentioned that to her.

“interesting, but cognitive-behavioral?” miyeon playfully raises her brows. “what are you doing attending the lecture of an exponential researcher?”

“i find it to broaden my avenues, besides being well-rounded.”

miyeon laughs, delighted. “that it does, my dear. sana said that you were bright in studies.”

your cheeks flush, the natural instinct to ask for what else, what else has she said, forming. that is, until doyoung says, “sorry. i’m a little lost. how do you know sana, y/n?”

speechless for a moment, you’re transported back to the soft golden lights and the shine of her oxford shoes, the taste of lemon drop martinis on your tongue. the four seasons and five hundred dollars in your purse, completely unexplainable much like sana is, because there are no words to describe her.

there are, however, words to describe you.

“y/n,” miyeon says, leaning forward to take your chin on her fingers, startling you. “is the greatest gift sana ever had the pleasure of finding.”

and all at once your excitement dashes into nothing, letting dread sink into you, curling around your body like a vice, tigeting around your neck. suddenly, miyeon’s enthusiasm takes a different meaning, another shape. it’s not friendly but sordid. not curious but propositional. maybe, it might’ve been, if sana ever offered to share.

it’s the thought that makes your heart crack open. just a few days ago, she was in your house, laying over you, kissing you with enough affection that you could drown in it. you thought—you’re not even entirely sure why anymore but you thought—it was real. it could’ve been real. the hope was there.

“wow,” doyoung says, laughing awkwardly, but the sound barely registers over the roaring din in your ear canals. “i didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

she’s not my fucking girlfriend, you’re saying to yourself visioulxy, spiterully. with sorrow. sana’s not your fucking girlfirned and she never was. you were just her gift. a thing to fuck around with.

“i’m sorry,” you say, blinking fast, speaking through the lump in your throat. “i really have to go.”

“oh.” miyeon looks genuinely disappointed, but you can’t be sure. perhaps it’s because she was hoping you’d offer a more nicer regard than what just transpired now. you wonder about the stories sana’s told, if she’s shown miyeon your pictures. “well, it was nice meeting you. i hope we’ll see each other again.”

you nod once, a jerky motion, and a spin of the heel to race out of the auditorium. by the time you reach to the chill outdoors, you’re crying, hot tears streaming down your face, heartbreak nearly forcing you to the knees.

wiping them away roughly, shame makes you red-faced. once you tended to the other cheek, fingers tugging the scarf around your neck, it feels like a collar to a degree–and you’re choking on another sob.

a terrible tragedy it seems, to be owned.

—

avoiding contact, you’re fielding sana’s calls for the next week or so.

you can’t claim that you don’t mean to because you do. every text asking is everything okay? something wrong? gets a yes, of course. every text asking are you okay, are you mad at me? gets a no. no, of course not. why would i be?

how amusing that you have a chock-full of little excuse, but the end result still stands: you don’t want to talk to sana.

this also means that you're miserable.

the tried-and-true method of compartmentalizing your feelings ceases to work when your sorrow over sana bleeds into everything. you can’t focus enough to do your assignments, be mindful enough to smile at work, to write when doyoung says that you should. to eat, even, because it’s hard to stomach anything when you’re angry at her and it’s hard to exist and not speak to her. over the course of three months, sana’s embedded herself into every facet of your life. function without her now is like forgetting how to breathe.

you could say that you’re taking the misery right on the chin, pushing through it like the grown woman you’ve claimed to be, at least proficient enough to hid from everyone else not involved. tzuyu notices this, she notices everything, and she makes it her mission to know about everything.

which is why you’re not surprised when she randomly bursts into your room on a saturday night, phone still buzzing from when she tried to call you.

“get up!” tzuyu snaps, marching over to yank your covers off; you’re curling over the pillow. “come on, get up! you’ve been ignoring my calls for, like, a week and i’m sick and tired of your wallowing.”

voice muffled into the sheets. “‘m not wallowing.”

“yes, you are,” she says and throws open your blinds, exposing the stained brickwall on the other side. “irene told me you didn’t go to class with her this week, which i know means that you were holed up in here crying or something. which, i might add, you never informed me of, so not only are you sad but you’re keeping secrets from me. bad friend behavior, y/n.”

“it’s not bad friend behavior. i just didn’t feel like talking about it.”

“well if you’re not gonna talk about it, you’re gonna do something else.” you hear your closet doors open and perch your head up to see tzuyu rifling through your clothes. after a moment, she makes some pleased sound and toesses a white dress onto your boed, one that sana had bought you a few weeks ago. the memory is blanched just by looking.

“we’re going out tonight,” tzuyu announces. “i have shuhua waiting in the car and i made plans to meet up with irene and a few friends of mine at a club in manhattan. i’m not leaving till you get dressed.”

“i’m not going.”

“yes, you are.”

“no.”

“you are.”

“tzuyu,” you say, with a note of pleading. “i really don’t want to go.”

“and i don’t care! you’re going.”

“no,” you repeat firmly, drawing your knees up to cocoon yourself. “i don’t want to go. i don’t want to drink or go to manhattan—”

“does sana live in manhattan?

“i don’t want to talk about sana.”

“well, it seems like you don’t wanna do fucking anything!” tzuyu throws her hands up, lovely face twisted up with exasperation. she nudges the dress closer. “and like i said, i really don’t care. if you’re not gonna talk about your feelings then do something equally as unproductive and distract yourself from them instead of crying. you’re being ridiculous.”

“no, you are,” you retort acidically, and it seems as though your outrage needed an outlet, because you can’t stop yourself from spitting the vitriol that spills forth. “and you know what? you are ridiculous. in general, you are fucking ridiculous. you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth and you act like it. me signing up for that stupid app was your idea. me meeting sana was because of you. and sana—” calling me her gift, reducing me to something that’s owned, tainting the concept of belonging— “i-it’s your fault. everything is your fault. it’s your fucking fault!”

tzuyu’s face is unchanged, perfect and placid as it always is. finally, while you heave, restraining another fit of tears, tzuyu exhales deeply and tilts her head, expression softening. “are you good now?”

“no,” you mumble. “i’m angry.”

“good.” tzuyu sits down on the edge of your bed and tugs you close, resting your head on her shoulder. “be angry with me. just don’t hole yourself up in your room alone. you’ve done enough of that.”

you sag into tzuyu. “i’m sorry for yelling at you. what happened isn’t your fault.”

“it kind of is.”

“no, it isn't. maybe giving the idea was, but everything i did was because it was a choice i mad. even being hurt now is my fault. i always knew what i was to her.”

“so? it’s kind of difficult to have sex with anything for three months and not get attached to it. i get weepy when i have to throw away my vibrators.”

you snort, pushing tzuyu away. met with a smile of hers with your own, “are you ready to go out now or do i actually have to respect your wishes this time.”

debating, eyes flicking to the dress by your foot. you know how it looks on you, how the fabric shimmers under a certain light and the fit clings to your body. you know it’s effect on sana, even, how her eyes darkend when she first saw it on you, how she raced to get it off. the faded memory stings as the thought of sana always does now, like a sharpened blade, but tzuyu is right. it isn’t healthy to sustain this level of feeling for days on end. maybe it needs a change of pace.

“fine,” you say, looking at tzuyu. “help me get ready.”

tzuyu squeals before grabbing your face to let her kiss your cheek.

—

you and tzuyu greet shuhua by the car just half an hour later, who rolls down the window to wolf-whistle you as they approach. tzuyu opens her coat and grabs you by the hand to spin you around.

“you look hot!” shuhua says. “i’ll be surprised if you don’t go home with somebody tonight.”

cheeks flushing after the compliment. “oh, uh, i’m not really—”

“honey, don’t scandalize y/n so early in the evening,” tzuyu says, popping a kiss to her mouth as she gets in the car. “you know y/n doesn’t talk about ex–say in polite company.”

“since when am i polite company?”

“hi, shua,” you mumble, sliding into the backseat.

“hey, babe. are you excited?” shuhua turs around. both her and tzuyu stare at you expectantly from the front seats, making you feel strangely like a child on their first day of school.

“...yes…”

tzuyu sends shuhua a firm look. “start the car.”

it’s saturday night, the drive from queens to manhattan takes about forty minutes. you’re spending the majority of the ride staring out the window, willing yourself not to think of the familiar surroundings, of the shops along the street that have developed new meaning. luckily, before you can get lost in your budding melancholy, shuhua parks the car along the side of the street and unlocks the door. with a sigh, you step out.

there’s a long line leading into the club that tzuyu bypasses with ease, simply flashing her ID at the bouncer before he allows you three inside. the club is ritzy but stereotypical. brith, multicolored flashing lights threaten to blind you and the pumping music that makes your ears ring. hand in hand, tzuyu directs through the throng of gyrating bodies to a VIP lounge near the back, where you can see a round table filled with people.

irene notices you first, and she jumps out of her seat to rush toward you, bee-lining for you specifically, enveloping a hug that you gratefully sink into.

“you look so pretty!” irene yells when she steps back. “i was worried you wouldn’t come!”

“i did!”

“thank god! come say hi to everybody!”

following her to the table. irene slides back into the booth to nestle beneath the arm of a handsome black-haired man that you recognize immediately, much to your delight. “seulgi!”

she cracks a smile. “sup.”

“i didn’t know you’d be here.” or really, that their relationship had progressed so well. perhaps you might have if you kept in touch more proactively, which suddenly makes you feel like a very shitty friend.

“how are you?” you ask, sitting down next to the pair.

“i’m good. you?”

“i’m…well.”

“uh-oh.” seulgi pushes a drink towards you. “be grateful i can’t cut you off tonight then.”

not thinking of a reply, uncomfortable at having been perceived so clearly, you raise the straw to your lips.

“hey tzuyu! we’re here!”

the three of you look over to see three people ambling towards you, a shorter woman in front, two slightly taller behind her. up close, you can see that she has dark, long hair. she’s wearing a black leather jacket with a handbag to her side. when she catches your eye, she smiles.

tzuyu leaps up from her seat to hug the woman, extricating herself quickly to hug the other two women tagging behind. her voice is a squeal when she screams, “dahyun!”

gesturing to them to sit down next to her, and as they all scoot into the booth, dahyun’s attention flickers towards you, down to your dress.

“y/n! y/n, this is my friend dahyun! she has a brother that works on the same racing team as him!”

“hey.” dahyun says, leaning forward, extending her hand, and you shake it. when you pull away, she wraps her arm around the brunette beside her.

“this is minju,” dahyun says, and points to the blonde at the end of the booth. “and that’s somi.”

“it’s nice to meet you all,” you say.

“it’s great to meet you. you’re y/n, right?”

“yeah.”

“cool!” dahyun’s mouth curls, more a smirk than a smile. “tzuyu has told me all about you.”

“has she?”

“yep. she thinks you’ve hung the fucking moon or something. is it true you volunteered at a women’s shelter for fun?”

you blush at the question. “i wouldn’t say for fun. i just…got along with the kids there really well.”

“a saint is what you are, according to tzuyu.”

“oh, i wouldn’t—”

dahyun surprises you when she stands up and slides over chaeyoung and somi to sit next to you, smelling the rich perfume she put on. your fingers bunch up the dress when she throws her arm over the back of your seat.

“so,” dahyuns starts again, sinking into the vinyl seat, too comfortable. “what else do you do aside from rescuing cats from trees?”

“i’m not a firefighter. never done anything like that.”

“it was a joke, lovely.” your flush depends, and dahyun adds, “but i’m serious. what do you do?”

“i’m a waitress currently, but i’m working towards my bachelors in child’s psychology. masters after, but i’m sure you knew that already.”

“yep.”

“and you?” you ask, taking a sip of your drink, beer bottle sweating around your fingers. “tzuyu mentioned you work with your mom?”

“yeah, just a normal front-desk job. pretty nice until all of the calls get backed up.”

“yikes. sorry to hear that.”

dahyun’s mouth quirks, and you swallow a squeak when she reaches over to ruffle your hair, startled by her familiarity. she keeps her hand there.

“you’re sweet, you know that?”

your face is burning red hot, stomach churning. you can’t think of anything to say but get off. “um—”

“but fuck the job conversation,” dahyun says, leaning closer to you, eyes flashing with mischief. “you wanna get fucked up?”

—

to your better judgement—along with the credit, this is something that you don’t really do on a weekend basis—getting fucked up.

it takes a few beers and sojus to get loose enough to smile freely. you’ve lost the count from five shots onwards to keep you laughing, swimmy. dahyun leads you to the bar to take more shots together—your idea—that’s immediately chased down with lime juice, shoved into your mouth by dahyun’s fingers. the burst of citrus in your mouth.

there’s no food to sober up with, so you decide to get that stored energy on the dance floor, sweating profusely. you switch between the different groups—first spinning around in a mid circle with shuhua and tzuyu, then joining irene and seulgi as they move together. you’re being dragged in between, irene laughing against your neck, head being thrown back into seulgi’s shoulder, the light’s over-bright above you, a shimmering multicolor. you’re laughing, and laughing, and laughing, even when a flash of green against the ceiling makes you want to cry.

it’s so easy to stop thinking.

which is exactly the case when dahyun finds her way onto the dance floor, swaggering. selugi spins you towards her embrace and she catches you, hands securing the waist, fingers sliding down to your hips. her voice rumbles from her chest and into your ears when she speaks, mouth skimming the curve orf it. “you know, tzuyu really wanted me to meet you.”

you wrap your arms around her neck. “she did?”

“yeah, she did. said you needed to meet someone new.”

“oh. i didn’t know.” dahyun leads you into a dance, slipping their knee between your legs. something cold curdles up in the pit of your stomach, but the warmth of the alcohol makes it easy to ignore. have fun, you remind yourself.

“yeah, thank god she did,” dahyun says.

the music, booming club/house hit, robs most of your hearing, but when you sway your hips and she follows the motion of it, moving with you, you can hear the dark rumble of her groan, can feel it when dahyun says, “fuck, you’re so hot. you wanna get out of here?”

that cold pit in the base of your stomach explodes, icy panic flooding your insides. dahyun’s eyes widen with shock as you push her away from you, and when she tries to tug you close again, you bat her away, snapping, “no.”

you stumble to the end of the club, shoving on your coat as you rush out into the cold weather. you tremble more from the alarm than the chill when you pull out your phone and scroll through the contact list.

sana answers before the end of the first ring. “y/n?”

“i’m coming to your house,” you announce, waving widely as you try to flag down a taxi.

“is something wrong? your voice sounds weird. do you want me to pick you up?”

“i’m coming,” you repeat. “to your house. so tell your doorman to let me in.”

“baby, are you sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”

the pet name stings. as does your persistent loyalty to her. wouldn’t have been so freeing to make her hurt? “no.”

“y/n—”

“i’ll see you now.”

you hang up just as a taxi stops beside you. opening the door and climbing into the car, slurring out sana’s address. given that her apartment complex is close, the drive takes under fifteen minutes. you had to swipe your card at least three separate times for the payment to go through. you nearly trip when stepping out, knees shaking and coltish, but right yourself quickly to march into the building. the red-headed doorman gives you a sour look that you meet with a scowl. thankfully, though, he lets you in without a word.

the journey to sana’s apartment is a blur. recognizing the soft elevator music and the ding as it opens. your heels click against the marble floors when you stumble down the hall, hands aligning against the wall to keep your balance. when you find sana’s door, you knock on it hard, speaking into the peephole. “it’s y/n. let me in!”

door swung open instantly; sana must’ve been waiting for you. heart throbbing when you see her, brown hair around her shoulder, barefoot and not-entirely relaxed, but she herds you in before you can get emotional, following you to the living room.

“are you okay?” sana asks.

“no.” you throw your purse down and wrestle to get your coat off. sana steps forward to help you but you shake your head, scoffing at her injured look.

“you’re drunk,” sana observes with disapproval., “why are you drunk?”

“i went out with tzuyu.”

“are you okay?” sana asks again.

“no. i’m drunk.”

sana’s expression shifts, wavering between panic and concern. you wonder what she has to be worried about, if she carries the past week with her the way that you did. but of course not, you think bitterly. why would she care at all?

“do you need water?”

you don’t reply, still struggling to take your coat off, suddenly overheated. sana watches you, making a frustrated sound deep in her throat. she runs her hand through her hair. “i don’t know what you wnat me to do then, baby.”

“i want you to stop calling me baby.”

“what?”

you whirl around. “i want you to stop with the pet names. i want you to stop with the gifts. i want you to stop sending me money. i-i want you to stop—talking to me like you care about me. it’s cruel, sana.”

“y/n, what are you talking about? of course i fucking care about you.” sana’s eyes widening. “did you take any drugs?”

“no!” you yell. “and no, i didn’t take any drugs!”

“then what the fuck is your problem?”

“my problem,” you spit, narrowing your eyes, speaking through your teeth. “is that i don’t want to be your damn sugar baby anymore!”

“what?!”

“yeah! your sugar baby, sana. does it make you feel bad when i say it? because it makes me fel fucking worse.” your voice cracking, shaking your head. “and i take it anymore.”

sana grasps the side of her hair. “take what? take what anymore? what the fuck are you talking about?”

“this!” you gesture between you and sana. “i can’t— i can’t keep pretending that i’m okay with this. that you can go to my house, fuck me, and then venmo me some money after like it’s okay. like i’m your—at first i thought it would be fine. it hurt me, made me feel sick, but i thought….i guess i thought that things would change but they haven’t. they haven’t and it really fucking hurts.”

“y/n, sweetheart, my love—” you flinch—”i’m really gonna need you to start making sense before i lose my fucking mind.”

“what doesn’t make any sense to you? my feelings? did you really expect that you could get to fuck me fore three months and i wound’t feel anything? am i that much of a fucking doll to you?”

“wha—?”

“you know, tonight i met this girl that was really into me,” you say, and giddily watch sana freeze. “tzuyu introduced me to her. she thought we’d be good together. she wanted me.”

sana’s face goes flat, hands stalling in the air between them. your pulse skips at the sudden coldness that grips her, the way her eyes darken, like the brief seconds of peace that precede the explosion of a volcano.

“what?” she asks quietly. “what did you say?”

“but i didn’t want her!” you cry. a jolt of panic runs through you, as fierce as your heartbreak. “i didn’t! she said she wanted to sleep with me and i said no! because of you, sana! because i like you! i really, really, really like you and i have feelings for you, and—”

“are you saying you could have cheated on me!” sana yells. “did you just admit to my fucking face expect me to thank you?!”

“cheat on what? you’re not my girlfriend, you’re my sugar mommy! thats’ what this whole argument is about!”

“i’m not your damn sugar mommy! i told you from day-fucking-one that i hated that shit! i think it’s disgusting! i told you that! if it were up to me, park jihyo would be dead in the fucking ground!”

“oh.” stumbling back. the shock crashing over in waves, realization threatening to wash over you. “i–oh, fuck. god.”

because sana was right. she did tell you that, just twenty minutes into the first meeting. her giving money to you after the first date misled you, given the impression that this was something sordid, but sana never acted that way. not once. she only ever treated you like…

you cradle your face when sana paces in front of you, muscles tense with rage. her fists shake by her sides, knuckles white, and you have the sudden urge to throw yourself down at her feet and kiss them, to beg for her forgiveness.

“i’m sorry. sana, i’m so sorry.” you gaps. “i didn’t—i misinterpreted everything, and i—”

sana stops in place to look at you, blazing eyes rooting you to the ground. your breath twists in your lungs as the words melt on your tongue, leaving you with nothing. because you have nothing. there’s nothing to say.

and sana takes you in, the trembling and tears, you being desperate for forgiveness. she runs a hand over your face, sighing heavily. “you’re way too drunk to be having this conversation.”

“i’m not.” you’re not lying. if you were a tad bit less sober, the doubt would be hurting just as much.

“yes, you are.”

“sana, i won’t be able to sleep unless we talk this through.”

“i don’t give a shit. you’re going to bed.”

you whimper as she marches past you, stumbling after her to follow. she stops when you reach the bedroom and open the door for you to head inside. you do, slowly, like you expect to face some form of punishment or further scolding, but sana only walks to her drawers and fishes for a t-shirt, holding it out to you.

as you take it, she leaves the room, giving you privacy to change. you sniffle quietly as you shove your dress down and off around your feet, and slip the shirt on. just as you bend to take off your shoe, sana comes back into the room, carrying a glass of water. she watches you struggle for a beta before sighing and placing the glass down on her nightstand. you nearly weep when you watch sana kneeled down in front of you, her hands going to your ankles. “sana, i—”

“not now,” she says, looking up at you, eyes still hard and angry, but her fingers gentle, thumb tapping your bone, “we can talk about it tomorrow.”

when sana’s done, she steps back, lining upr your heels against the wall.

“get in bed,” sana orders

“sana, i-i can sleep on the couch,” you say weakly. “i really don’t need to take your bed. i’ve had enough trouble already. ‘

“i don’t care. get in.”

“really, it’s—”

“get. in.”

her tone leaves no room for debate, and you clamber up to slip beneath the covers. you stare up at sana, hoping she’ll offer to climb in next to you, but she pushes the water towards you, instead.

“drink.”

“i’m not thirsty.”

“it’s not for your thirst. it’s so you have enough wits about you in the morning. and, also, for right now. i’m not exactly trusting your judgment.”

sana drops three ibuprofen tablet into your palm. while she watches, you dutifully swallow each one, gilt hollowing out your stomach. you open your mouth to speak, but she nudges the glass up, silently demand you drink. she doesnt’ stop until you’ve downed the whole thing. once it’s empty, sana nods with satisfaction and steps back.

“we’ll talk in the morning. for now, please go to sleep.”

“sana.”

“go to sleep,” she repeats, an edge to her voice. “if i hear anything else, i—” she stops herself. roughly shakes her head. “i can’t guarantee what i’ll do next.”

you flinch when the door slams shut behind her, throwing yourself down onto sana’s pillow. a sob builds in your throat when her scent hits you in full force, and you inhale it greedily, chest stuttering as you curly around it, clinging to it like it can morph into her skin.

and sleep is also unkind. it’s only gracious enough to give you any reprieve when the sun peeks over the horizon. you fall into it fruitfully.

—

you’re awoken to a soft touch, a hand gently shaking your shoulder. “y/n. y/n, get up.”

sana’s voice registers, at first distant and tinny, then overwhelming, a sharp spiek into your barin. you jolt up, nearly headbutting her as you scramble to face her. sana moves to sit on a chair she’s pulled up the side of her bed. she looks at you calmly, her hands folded over her knees, foot bouncing, because she can never be fully at ease. her body doesn’t let her.

“good morning.”

everything that you’ve been feeling the night before suddenly rises to the surface again in an overwhelming rush. you can’t even think to compose yourself. your head and heart aches too much to try.

“i’m sorry!” i cry. “i’m sorry, i’m so sorry. i didn’t— i honestly thought—i don’t know why—no, i do know why but—i didn’t think i was cheating on you. i thought you were my s-sugar mommy and i thought our relationship was transactional. it’s why i was so nervous when you met mina because i thought she’d find out. i had no idea—”

you huff, words croaking out into a sob, and sana moves her chair to the edge of her bed to cup your face. you lean into it, tears smearing against her skin.

“i’m not going to say that i’m not angry, because i am. or that i’m not confused, because i really am. but i think i’m starting to understand where the confusion is.”

“i’m sorry.”

“is it because i gave you money?” sana asks, ignoring it.

you nod. “yes.”

“even after i told you that i thought that shit was gross?”

“it wasn’t then,” you say. “i didn’t go out with you with dual inteitinons. i thought it was a date.”

“which it was.”

“i realize that now.”

“so, it was after? when i sent you—”

“a thousand dollars, sana,” you breathe—still, even now, in disbelief. “which, you have to admit, is a little ridiculous to send someone you met when they were first trying out to be someone’s sugar baby.”

“that’s why i sent it. i knew you needed it. i though you’d understand.”

“i didn’t. and even if i did, can’t you admit that’s strange? or at the very least, kind of offensive?”

“no.” sana slides her hand down, thumb tapping your chin like she did when she first kissed you. “id’ be strange if it was for anyone but you.”

a rosy flush stains your cheeks, spreading high. “i don’t know what that means.”

“i think you do.” she slips her hand away and leans back. her face hardens when she says, “no about that girl—”

“we never kissed!” you say desperately. “we never kissed. she never touched me, not really. we just danced. i only said that because i wanted to provoke you.”

“you nearly did. i swear to god, y/n. i wanted to do something about that.”

you grab sana’s hand and lift it between you two. “i’m sorry. i was being spiteful.”

“it’s fine. i’m not angry with you.”

“you’re not?”

“no. but if kim dahyun—”

“how do you know her name?”

“she texted you. i blocked her number—ever ends up horribly injdured and is brought to me as a patient, i’m passing the cart to the next surgeon.”

“you’re not funny.”

“who said i was joking?”

“sana.”

before you can scold her, sana wraps an arm around you and secrues you to her, heart pouding a slow righym against your ear. you feel her chin drop onto your crown, her hand sliding up your back.

“i love you, y/n,” sana says. her hold tightens when you freeze, but she continues, undeterred. “i love you and it only took me about a week to realize it.”

tears crowd your eyes in earnest. sana’s name comes out as a gasp, but she pulls you back to cup your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks. “i love you. this has never been transactional for me. not once.”

“i—”

“you got something to say to that?”

“sana.” she stops to watch you, eyes going soft as you start to weep. she presses her lips to your forehead, then shifts so that your face falls into her neck. you cling to sana, mouth moving against the skin of her. “...’ove you.”

“what?”

“i said i love you.”

“i know. i just wanted to hear you say it again.”

sana laughs when you pinch her side, and you two settle into a comfortable silence s you sid and hold each other, sinking into bliss. that is until sana says, “does this mean you’re cool with getting married? you know, eventually?”

“what?”

“i told you i wanted to marry you and you said you loved me. that wasn’t a no.”

“you didn’t propose.”

“i thought i was implied.”

“an implication is not a proposal, sana. that’s been our whole issue.” you say as sana frowns. “and i don’t wanna think about getting married until sometime later.”

“so what do you want to do in the meantime, wander around like two hopeless romantics that we are?”

“well—” you rise up to your knees, words purposefully slow as you push sana to the bed and climb over her. her hands find your waist, sliding up. you kiss the grin from her lips.

“just stay close to me. that’s all i ask.”

#hyunie #twice imagines #twice x reader #kpop x reader #sana x reader #twice sana #sana #minatozaki sana #minatozaki sana x reader #sana imagines #twice fluff #twice angst #sana angst #sana fluff #twice x you

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voxsmistress · 10 days

Text

Mama Didn't Raise no Bimbo Part Three!

Part three is here my gorgeous little demons! Now just to warn you all this is literally a filler part BUT it explains a bit of why Angel invited Y/N up to the tower when we had warned her away before!

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven / Part Twelve

Getting in the elevator you almost didn’t turn back to face the two Vee’s. Your nerves almost getting the better of you. But if you didn’t turn you just knew that would be a win for them. So, you straighten your spine, mentally pull your big girl panties up and turn as gracefully as you can with your best award winning smile to face them both.

The two predatory smirks and narrowed eyes directed at you made your dead heart thump in your chest.

You were so fucked!

So, the entire taxi ride to the club you and Angel didn’t say a word to each other, a few awkward glances here and there but not a word. You watched out the corner of your eye him open and close his mouth various times as if to say something and then stop themselves. After the sixth time it was starting to wind you up.

Finally reaching the club you both make your way to your usual booth; waving over at the bartender and point to the vodka bottles behind them – your usual poison on nights out with Angel. Something was telling you that you’d be needing it more tonight. Waiting until you both had a full glass you down it in one, wincing at the sting before pouring yourself another. Catching Angel open and close his mouth again you grumble under your breath.

“Right Angel, cut the bullshit what the fuck was that back there?” Leaning back against your chair your narrowed gaze focused on the squirming demon in front.

“What do you mean what the fuck? What the fuck was with you flirtin’ with the Vee’s?” Crossing his arms defensively, glaring right back at you.

“Like fuck I was flirting! If you hadn’t noticed I was trying to escape some very unwanted advances. Which, by the way, only happened because you invited me up there in the first place!” You knocked back another glass of vodka. Wincing again you try to push down the small bit of guilt that was rising. You knew it wasn’t Angel’s fault that Vox and Valentino had acted like they did. And sure, maybe you did flirt a little bit back with them, but it was mainly out of self-preservation. Only a tiny bit was because you thought they were a hot and what girl doesn’t like a bit of attention off rich and charismatic demons? Especially when you knew you shouldn’t like the attention.

The conflicted look that graced Angel’s face made you take notice. Pouring two drinks for you both, pushing his glass towards him you ask: “what is with the face sugar?” Pulling at his bow tie he grimaced before necking his drink then taking your full one from your hand and finishing that one too. Rude.

“That isn’t exactly the way it went down Y/n”, gesturing for you to pour another round you do so but with a slight frown. What did he mean? Deciding to sip on his next drink he sighed after a moment, avoiding your eyes he admitted: “I didn’t wanna invite you up there Y/n, but Val asked me too – turns out Vox wanted to meet you”.

The drink you were sipping managed to catch in the middle of your throat, holding a hand up to your mouth you started to cough up the vodka. Eyes watering and confusion bubbling you banged on your chest with your other hand. Angel quickly sat beside you giving your back a swift tap to help dislodge the liquid. After a few moments you managed to catch your breath, turning in the seat to focus on Angel, pushing your drink back on the table.

“He what? Vox wanted to meet me?”

Angel wiped a few of the escaped tears off your cheeks with his gloved fingers, a crooked smile on his face, “yeeep, weird right?” Just a tad.

“Hang on. So let me get this crystal clear. Vox asked Val to tell you to invite me up to the Vee tower all because he wanted to meet me?”

Nodding he slips your now full glass back in your hand. Huh. It was weird.

“Well yeah sugar tits, did no red flags go up when I asked you to come considering how much I bitch about Val?” A sheepish grin tugs the corner of your lips as you shrug at Angel, even when you were alive you were an idiot for ignoring red flags. “Look babe, all I know – and you didn’t hear this from me – is that Vox heard you singing on Alastor’s show and wanted to know who you were. Val managed to rub two brain cells together and figured out that I knew you and when Vox asked him, he then came to me and demanded that I get you to the tower somehow. I’m sorry Y/n I didn’t know what they were gonna do and I should have found a way to warn you or said no some more, but you know how Val is and I ju”-

Holding up your hand to stop him talking, you processed all the information. Knowing Valentino, he wouldn’t have given Angel an option to say no especially with that damn contract they had. The logical thought here was Vox probably just wanted to see if you were a threat as you were connected to Alastor – the Radio Demon – both had an extreme dislike towards one another. So it was reasonable to believe he was just checking out the competition. The illogical (and wishful thinking) part was that he wanted you for other reasons other than seeing if you were a threat, instead just wanting you for and in nefarious different ways. Pushing that thought aside for later you realised you had been quiet for a few minutes and Angel was starting to panic.

Giving his hand a gentle squeeze to stop the panic “you do not have to apologise Angel; I know if you could have prevented me from going there you would have. You are bound by your contract; I don’t hold you responsible at all. Plus, they are the Vee’s, they’d have found another way to meet me and could be that wouldn’t have gone quite so smoothly”.

A relieved sigh heaved from his chest, a small smile was back on his face, glad your friend was feeling better you sipped at your drink checking the demons out around you before Angel’s voice caught your attention again.

“Just becareful Y/n. You know you can’t trust them as far as you can throw them”, his no-nonsense look made a smile twitch at the corner of your lips. Isn’t that basically everyone in hell? Well, everyone apart from dear Princess Charlie.

“Gorgeous do I look that stupid? I ain’t about to go looking for trouble so don’t you worry about me, plus I think they’ll leave me be now. They’ve met me, mystery over, they’ll be bored and hopefully will find some other poor fool to stalk” you reason while finishing your drink.

An unimpressed Angel snorted at that. And to be honest, you were unimpressed with yourself too as you didn’t even believe your own bullshit. Remembering the sparks that came from Vox’s claws on your hips, or the powerful grip of Valentino on your chin … yeah you could only pray that they would leave you alone. But somehow you couldn’t quite see that happening.

Could you?

A small vibrate coming from your phone captured your attention, pulling it out of your purse you glance up as Angel goes up to the bar to either get more drinks or drugs. Glaring daggers at a demon who bumped into your table with their drunkenness you bare your fangs before they even open their mouth to say some drivel that you probably have heard hundreds of times before. Drunken idiots were the same in hell as they were on Earth. Opening your phone you are pretty sure you had lost your eyebrows up into your hairline.

Your notifications had gone crazy. Confused you drag open Sintagram to see you had suddenly gained thousands of follows and likes. What the fuck? Not that you were complaining but what the hell. Angel returned to the table with a cup of pills and a bottle of whiskey. Before he could sit you grabbed his hand and shoved your phone into it.

“What now?” Gesturing to the notifications he started to laugh. “Ooooh sugar, finally you are reaching my level of stardom so what did ya do? Show those glorious tits finally on here? Accidental nip slip? Not so accidental nip-slip?” His chuckles became louder as your cheeks got redder.

“No nothing like that, or I hope to Hell that I didn’t on my last post!” Going to grab your phone, Angel shoved you back in your chair as he started flicking through your notifications. Grumbling in defeat you grab the bottle of whiskey and pour yourself a shot. You’d drink yourself to death, but you stayed away from the drugs here – you took a purple pill when you first came to hell and couldn’t move for nearly a week.

“Welllllll… it’s no nip slip”, a sly smirk was tugging at his lips, and he popped a pill into his mouth. Pouring another shot of whiskey, you raise your eyebrows up in question. “Seems like it’s not just the two Vee’s attention you managed to grab”. Frowning you take your phone off the now smug demon. You paused in shock when you see.

Seems Velvette had tagged your photo on her story with the hashtag #newmodel? Flicking your gaze back up to an amused Angel.

“Well toots … you might as well collect all three than just two. Here’s to you babe - you are so fucked”. He raised his glass. Raising your own you blink in shock.

Fucked was right.

Tagged: @tasha-1994

A03 link is here

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 months

Text

one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr;8 mile

word count: 3481

request?: no

description: she’s always been viewed as just “one of the guys” despite having feelings for one of her friends, and now it’s looking likely that she’s going to lose him to the wannabe model

pairing: jimmy smith jr. x female!reader

warnings: swearing, pining

masterlist (one, two, three)

I had known Jimmy and Future since we were a bunch of snot nosed kids causing trouble on the playground in elementary school. Cheddar Bob was next, having followed us around like a lost puppy until we finally adopted him. Iz and Sol joined our little group in high school, and then we were complete.

For as long as I had known the guys, they considered me to be...well, one of the guys. Even after I went through puberty and actually started looking like a girl, I was still just one of the guys. It didn’t bother me for the most part. When you’re a kid, it doesn’t really matter if you’re a boy or a girl. We all played the same, caused trouble the same. But when we hit puberty, I found myself not liking being considered “one of the guys” anymore.

Especially when I realized I had feelings for Jimmy.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a part of the friend group and I couldn’t ask for a better set of friends. What I definitely could ask for, though, was for those friends to recognize I was a woman and treat me as such. Namely, I wished Jimmy would realize that.

One Friday evening, just like every Friday evening, I had just pulled into my driveway and was walking up to my front door when I heard another car pulling up behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know it was Future.

“Get your ass changed, we’re going out!” he called.

“Future, I just got home,” I said.

“So?”

“So maybe I don’t want to go out with you chuckle fucks after I just worked an eight hour shift.”

“We both know that’s not the truth.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. He was right, I did want to go out. We went out every Friday night. It was a group tradition at this point. If I was seriously turning it down, there’d have to be something wrong with me.

“Give me 10 minutes,” I told Future before slipping into my house to change.

I was in and out in less time than I told him. I just changed out of my work clothes and into jeans and a t-shirt, and was ready to go again. I got into the passenger seat of Future’s car and he didn’t even wait for me to buckle myself in before he was backing out of my driveway and driving off to get the others.

“I fear for my life every time I get in the car with you,” I joked as I managed to buckle my seatbelt.

“Well, lucky for you, Jimmy agreed to drive tonight. His car can hold more people anyways.”

“Who else is going with us?”

“Just the usual.”

I looked over at Future in confusion. His tone definitely made me think there was someone else coming along for the night, but it seemed he wasn’t going to tell me. I couldn’t figure out who could possibly be joining us that Future wouldn’t want to tell me about beforehand.

We pulled into the trailer park and parked next to Jimmy’s car. Jimmy was exiting his trailer before we were even out of the car, as usual. Jimmy was usually waiting for us to show up and would be itching to leave his mom’s place as soon as he could. Jimmy gave Future one of their high five hugs, and patted me on the shoulder. It was just a step up from me also getting a high five hug, but not by much.

We got into Jimmy’s car, all three of us in the front. We started for Iz and Sol first, then Cheddar Bob. Once the car was full it was nothing but noise as each of the guys was talking over one another with Jimmy’s radio blaring as extra noise.

“How was work, by the way?” Jimmy asked me over the current argument between Future and Sol.

“Same bullshit as always,” I responded.

“I guess we should be lucky you even agreed to come out with us after working all day, meanwhile all we do is sit on our asses like a bunch of bums.”

I playfully nudged his shoulder. “Hey, you work, too.”

“I wouldn’t consider the Stamping work.”

I chuckled. I noticed then that we weren’t headed for the club. “Where are we going?”

“To pick up Alex.”

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I looked over at Future. I couldn’t tell if he was actually deep in conversation with Iz or if he was just ignoring me. So this was who was joining us that he didn’t want to tell me about.

Alex.

She was a girl Jimmy had met at his work. She was a model apparently, or was trying to be one. Jimmy didn’t talk about her much, but the other guys didn’t waste a single moment in teasing him about her. It didn’t take a genius to realize he liked her.

Alex was waiting as Jimmy pulled up. She was wearing her usual mini skirt so short that you could basically see everything whenever she moved. It made me feel very self conscious about my choice in jeans.

Future opened the door and got out.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked. I already knew the answer and hoped he’d see the look of begging on my face.

“I’ll get in the back with the idiots,” he said. “I’d assume Alex will be more comfortable pressed up against you instead of Sol.”

“Yo, fuck you!” Sol snapped.

I hoped my clenched jaw would go unnoticed as Alex slid into the seat next to me. Her eyes immediately went to Jimmy and they shared a smile that made me wish I could throw myself from the moving car.

We got to the club and piled into our usual table while Future got the first round of shots. Cheddar Bob and Iz were sat on one end, I was in the middle, Jimmy and Alex were sat next to me, and Sol had pulled up a chair. When Future returned, he slid in next to Cheddar Bob. The table chorused with cheers as we held up our shots then shot them back.

I tried to play it cool, but having to sit next to Alex and Jimmy while they were flirting up a storm was making me more tense by the minute. When Sol offered to get the next round of drinks, I jumped to give him the money to buy me two of the strongest drinks he could for me. I downed the first one quickly, but took my time with the second. It didn’t take long for the shot and the first drink to kick in. My head was spinning and I felt care free and light as air.

At some point, when the drinks had hit me hard enough, I shoved against Iz’s shoulder and said (or rather slurred), “Hey, can you guys move? I gotta pee.”

“Yo, go the other way,” Future said. “There’s three of us here and only two on your other side.”

“You’re gonna break the dam this early in the night?” Sol asked. “You may as well sit on the end when you come out. You’ll be back and forth for the next few hours.”

“Look, I don’t care who moves and I don’t care where I sit when I come back, I just have to pee now.”

“Here, we’ll move,” Jimmy said.

He and Alex moved out of the booth and allowed me to get out. When I stood, I realized just how drunk I already was as I almost immediately lost my balance. I felt someone grab hold of me as the rest of the table chorused in laughter at my drunkenness. When I looked up, it was Jimmy that had taken hold of me. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I’m getting you water when you come back,” he said. “And you gotta pace yourself.”

“You’re always looking out for me,” I said. “You’re such a good friend.”

I put emphasis on the friend for my own benefit, but there was also some level of petty in the word. A reminder for both of us that that was the only way he saw me: as a friend. One of the guys that he went out drinking with every weekend, that he smoked with in the basement of someone’s house, that he ran around Detroit with causing mayhem since we were tykes.

I saw a look flash across his face that I couldn’t quite decipher, but I assumed I was just seeing things in my drunken haze.

I managed to make it to the bathroom on my own without incident. Once I was safely inside of a stall, I was able to sit down again. I almost didn’t want to get up and go back out to the table. Sitting was safe. The world didn’t spin when I was sat down. But I also couldn’t be sat on the toilet in a club bathroom all night either. I knew Sol was right about me going back and forth to the bathroom now that I had broken the dam, but if I put enough time between this bathroom visit and the next, maybe the spinning wouldn’t be as bad by then.

When I stepped out of the stall to wash my hands, I jumped to see that someone was waiting there.

Alex.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said.

I waved away her apology. “It’s fine. I just didn’t hear anyone else come in.”

I stepped around her to wash my hands. She turned to face me as I did. “Listen, I need to talk to you about something.”

I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Is there anything going on between you and Jimmy?”

The question took me by surprise. Why would she think there was anything between us? In all the time that Jimmy had known Alex, I had only met her once before after the lot of us had run into her at a house party. I remembered Jimmy only having eyes for her that night, too. There was no reason I could even fathom that she would believe Jimmy and I had a thing going on when he was so clearly into her.

“No,” I said. “He’s my best friend. Has been since we were kids.”

“And that’s it? Just friendship?”

“Yeah. What’s this about?”

She sighed. “I really like Jimmy, and I thought he liked me, too. But he’s never really asked me out or anything yet. I didn’t know if maybe you two had a thing going on and I read the whole situation wrong. I’ve known far too many guys who claim to be just friends with a girl and turns out they’re actually fucking around.”

Trust me, I wish that’s what was going on here.

Against my better judgement, I put my hands on Alex’s shoulders and said, “If you really like Jimmy and you want things to be more serious, maybe you should make the first move.”

She looked as though she had never even considered that option. “You think so? That won’t seem too...direct?”

“Who gives a shit? Why do men always have to be the ones to make the first move? Most of them are fucking idiots anyways and wouldn’t know if a girl liked them even if she was telling him to his face.” Alex chuckled. “If you want him, go get him.”

She nodded. I was taken by surprise when she suddenly pulled me into a hug. I reluctantly patted her on the back and tried to put the best smile I could muster on my face.

“You’re the best,” she said. “I think we’re going to be great friends.”

I bit my tongue as she hurried out the bathroom door.

That interaction was enough to sober me up more than I wanted. I could feel myself tearing up, but tried to fight it back. I turned to lean against the sink and looked up at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t help but notice everything that Alex had that I didn’t: gorgeous face, sexy voice, body of a model. I couldn’t even dream of leaving the house in a skirt as short as hers without feeling completely embarrassed and exposed. Of course Jimmy would like her, and of course he was going to say yes when she asked him to go out with her.

I hung my head as the tears slipped from my eyes and ran down my face into the sink. I prayed no one would come into the bathroom and find me here crying, and luckily someone was looking out for me because no one did. Once I felt like I had cried myself dry, I quickly splashed my face with cold water and tried to pretend everything was alright. I figured everyone was going to question where I had been for so long, but I didn’t feel like coming up with a fake answer to tell them. If I told them to fuck off, they wouldn’t pry.

My steps faltered a little when I exited the bathroom and saw that Alex and Jimmy were missing from the table. I was tempted to go right to the bar and get another drink, but I pushed through and went back to my group of friends.

“Hey, you good?” Future asked as I sat down in the booth.

“Yeah, just sobered up a little,” I responded. “Where did Jimmy and Alex go?”

“Alex asked to talk to him in private,” Cheddar Bob responded. “But that was a while ago, so who knows where they are now.”

I noticed both Future and Iz elbow him, causing him to spill some of his drink on himself. I didn’t care to imagine where Jimmy had taken Alex after she asked him out. I didn’t need to have that image burned in my mind for the rest of the night.

Everyone went back to their conversations, but I found myself not paying any attention to them. I kept glancing around the club, expecting to see Jimmy and Alex tucked away in a private corner, sucking face as if they were trying to blend into one person. Or maybe they’d be on the dance floor, practically dry humping in front of everyone. I didn’t think Jimmy was one to dance, but Alex had enough allure that she could’ve probably convinced him. But I didn’t see them, and that almost made it all worse.

Eventually I stood from the table suddenly, bringing everyone’s attention to me. “I need some air.”

“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Cheddar Bob asked.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I said. I turned and quickly made for the exit.

Once I was outside, I breathed in the cool night air. It filled my lungs, but it didn’t seem to help soothe me at all.

“You alright?”

“Jesus!” I hissed as I turned towards the voice. It was Jimmy, leaning up against the club. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Free country,” he said with a shrug. “Are you good?”

“Just needed air. It felt very stuffy inside.”

I walked over to stand next to him. The rough brick wall dug into my back through my t-shirt. It was cool out, but not enough to make me feel like I needed a jacket or anything. I was standing so close to Jimmy that I could feel the heat coming from his body anyways.

“Where’s Alex?” I asked. “The guys said you two went off to talk in private.”

“She left,” he responded.

I looked at him in shock. “What? And went where?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Home, I guess?”

“Don’t you think you should’ve driven her? It’s not exactly the safest for her to be walking alone at night.”

“I offered, but she turned it down. Said she didn’t wanna see me ever again.”

I’ve definitely missed a lot of things here. “What happened?”

Jimmy sighed. “Well, she got up and went to the bathroom after you, said something about wanting to make sure you were okay where you were so drunk. Then when she came back she asked me if we could talk in private. She brought me outside and told me how she had been waiting for me to ask her out properly since we first met and she was tired of waiting, so she made the first move to ask me if I wanted to go on an official date with her.”

“And you said...”

He looked at me for a second before responding, “No. Obviously.”

Well, yeah, it was obvious that he said no. But what wasn’t obvious was why he had said no.

“I thought you were into her,” I said.

He laughed. “Who told you that?”

I shrugged. “The guys seemed convinced you were.”

“The guys don’t know shit about shit. They just like talking a big game and making fun of each other.” I just looked at him, waiting to see if there was any more he had to say. He looked at me then away again. “No, I’m not into her. She’s beautiful, yes, but I don’t see her that way.”

“Wait, so if you don’t see her like that, then why did you invite her tonight?”

“I didn’t. She was at the Stamping today and asked if she could come along. I guess this was her plan.”

Well, it wasn’t her plan until I told her to go after Jimmy, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.

I felt like everything had just been flipped upside down. I was so sure that Jimmy had been reciprocating Alex’s feelings. It seemed like that anyways. Or maybe it seemed like that because I was making it seem that way. I was projecting something onto the two of them that wasn’t really there, I guess because of my jealousy?

“Sucks that she didn’t handle the rejection well,” I said.

“It wasn’t the rejection, it was the reason I rejected her.”

My brows furrowed together. “The reason being...you didn’t like her like that?”

“No. Well...yes. Kind of.”

“You know, for a man who can freestyle, you’re god awful with your words right now.”

He laughed and lightly nudged me with his shoulder. “It was the reason I said I don’t have feelings for her. I told her that I don’t like her because I like someone else and she didn’t handle that very well.”

I could feel my stomach turning to knots again. “Oh? Didn’t like the competition?”

“No, she said something along the lines of she should’ve trusted her gut, and that all guys who hang out with girls end up fucking them in the end.”

It took a second for what he said to register in my brain. When it did, I thought back to Alex talking to me in the bathroom and asking me if there was anything going on between Jimmy and I because she knew of too many guys who were friends with girls who they were actually fucking. Then, I put the pieces together in my head.

When I turned to look at Jimmy again, he was already watching me, waiting for me to come to the conclusion. “Me?!”

“Jesus, that took you long enough.”

“What do you mean that took me long enough?! Why the fuck haven’t you told me?!”

“Because you’re my best friend! We’ve known each other since kindergarten. If I told you I liked you and you didn’t like me back, that would fuck everything up between us and within the friend group. I would rather feel this way in silence than risk losing you as a friend.”

“If you had told me I would’ve told your dumbass that I like you, too, and I have since high school.”

“Wait...for real?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, for real!”

We both stood in silence. We shared a look, and then a smile broke out on Jimmy’s face. I couldn’t help but mirror it, and soon we were both laughing. With the absurdity of the situation, we couldn’t not laugh.

“We’re both dumbasses,” I said between fits of laughter.

“I guess so,” Jimmy agreed. “That brings up the question, though, of where do we go from here?”

“Well, I think we try a date, just the two of us and not those other idiots in there, and we see how things progress from there.”

He smiled. “Okay, I like that idea.”

“And we promise that if things don’t work out, we stay friends.”

“And we don’t tell the guys about any of this.”

I laughed. “Okay deal.”

#jimmy smith jr #jimmy smith jr imagine #jimmy smith jr x reader #eminem #eminem imagine #eminem x reader #marshall mathers #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers x reader #8 mile #one shot #imagine #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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christinebloodwrittings · 18 days

Text

To hunt or be hunted #9

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader x Lucifer Summary: Happy birthday! a late one at that... Warnings: Angst, fluff, bickering.

Hazbin Taglist: @sakuraluna2468 @boogiemansbitch @mysterypotatoink @sibsteria @cherry-cola-100 @readergirlstuff @phoenixica24 @martinys-world @alientee @jellyroom2 @jewelsrules @ladyzaunis @zealousllamawolf @kittycat246 @shamblezzz

Three months passed, no one except Lucifer, Alastor and Charlie became nervous as time went by. Charlie didn't know what else to do about the contract, it protected you from killing yourself during its validity period, but after that she couldn't do anything to avoid it.

"Charlie, can I ask you a question?" She walked over to the stove, accompanying as you finished checking the meat in the pan. “If…if I happened to make it out alive, but your father were the reason for that, or Alastor, how would you feel about it?” Charlie choked on her water, to put it in a nice way.

“You’re asking me permission to go out with my dad?” she laughed, “Depending how okay are you with it” she snickered, “I mean, it would be weird” she started “We’ve been friends for so long, I don’t think I can see you as a step mom” he gave you a playful nudge on your shoulder.

“I don’t plan to play mom with you, I’ve already done it for eight years” you pointed to her bandaged finger you had fixed a few moments before.

“Do you like my dad?” what an interesting question, his advances did in fact made you look forward to spend more time with him, “I’m starting to get fond of him, I want to know if I should push the halt now before it’s too late”.

“And hurt him more than my mom already did? No” she made a pensative face, while the question brew in your stomach, “What if she comes back?” Charlie’s eyes shifted, “I won’t have her back” as a former mother that stung in sympathy for her, as little as that was, “That is what you say now, but I know you, that attitude won’t be there if she stands in front of you” sad but true, you knew her.

“Going back to my father, he’s old enough to decide who he wants to date” you let out a breathy laugh, “I wasn’t asking your permission, I wanted to know how you felt about it, I won’t have my wings broken by you again anyway” she nudged you again.

“If there’s anyone I would know my father would be happy with, you wouldn’t make the first of my list, but you´re there” you made as if there was something piercing your heart, with a stabbing motion of your hand in your chest, “Cold as fuck”.

“You wanted my opinion” she defended herself, “I didn’t say it wasn’t appreciated” you gave her a bite of a stir-fried red pepper, “Y/n, I love you, as friends or an aunt, but I will end what I started when you betrayed me if you hurt him” her horns peeked out of her head, low blow reminding you of how the battle became to be.

“Charlotte, even if he didn’t liked me, I’m ready to fight Jesus fucking Christ for you and this hotel” ‘you and him and Alastor more than anything’ you thought, “Don’t underestimate the growth I had this eight years”.

You plated a portion of the meat, stir-fried veggies and mush potatoes, “You and your dad have the same eating issue, so I’m getting up his dinner after plating for you and the rest” you said as you prepped the plates on a line, “Fun to know the only few things I have in common with my dad are issues” her sarcasm drew a smile on your face.

Her mean/sassy attitude was refreshing after a lot of her sunshine bullshit.

“Also your eyes, the way you hide your feelings from others, your cheeks, that lovely angelic happiness, the way you smile, your theatrics, the list is infinite” you winked at her, “You are his spitting image, the only thing you have from your mother is your hair, the height, and her temper” she groaned a little, “I got my singing from her”.

You hummed a no, “Ezekiel 28:12-13 say how beautiful lucifer was. God created him to be perfect in wisdom and beauty, a spectacle of flawlessness and gave him special capabilities in music and voice, the bible doesn’t lie” she looked at you in awe, “What? He’s proof of everything the darn book says” another blink.

You weren’t a believer until you saw Adam for the first time.

After bidding everyone a good night, you made your way to his room, tray in hand. Charlie warned you to be careful, she had heard some breaking sounds coming from his chambers, she was far too scared of his rage to interfere. Talking of her inner child saying be cautious to her.

"Your highness? You didn't attended dinner, so I brought it to you" you opened the door, the sight unnerved you.

There were rubber ducks that were burned, had their throats cut, were torn to pieces, or even turned to dust. The painting of his wife had claw marks on her face, there were feathers on the ground, his, and other smaller ones that didn't match his colors.

"I'm not hungry" your eyes caught sight of him, sat on the ‘your side of the bed’ facing the window. The light was not working, with the dim light of the city emanating from the window you could see his tattered hair and his wrinkled suit, also a few small drops of shiny golden blood on his arm.

"You have to eat, even if you’re not hungry, Charlie mentioned you didn’t ate much at lunch either” You didn't eat with the rest of the group, for the simple fact that due to your new anatomy you had to eat at least three dishes to be satisfied, and it made you a little embarrassed.

"Say my name" he whispered, his voice low and deeper than his usual, "Excuse me?" you pushed a few things off a table near you to set the tray down.

"It's always my lord or your highness, never my name, say it" his red stare chilled your blood, "Why is it so important?" you swallowed a huge lump to say that, "Then I'm not eating until you say it" he crossed his arms.

"You're being a child” in a matter of second he was inches away from your face, “And you secretive, since when? Have I gave you a reason to not say things to me?" his distorted voice thundered, flinching was so hard to avoid, "No" you bite your own tongue, "Then please, address me by my name" a few flames came out of his mouth.

"I don't negotiate with children throwing a tantrum" you walked around him, trying your best to shake off the sight of his angry face, printed in your mind.

"Why is it so hard to say?" He muttered, "And it's not a tantrum" you chuckled, "Sure it is" you accidentally stepped on a head of a former duck.

"You've still haven't answered, why is it so hard for you to say my name" you didn't had time to answer when his wings carried him to you again, "Do you fear me?" Your visible flinching giving his demonic form made his eyes widen, immediately shifting back to his simple self.

"You do fear me, wow, I don't... this is new" he plopped against the bed, feeling sad and heavy. "You know? After being almost skin to skin with you, I thought there was a level of trust" your pride stung, "I do trust you" you were going to say that because he is stronger than you, there was some caution in your way of being, but he then said, "But you fear me" "Maybe? Maybe I just respect you" "Oh cut the crap".

"You do that, what the hell happened here?" With a heavy sigh he pointed to an open envelope on the other corner of the room, "Lilith wrote, I thought it was to let us know if she was coming back but there were paperwork" Taking out the first sheet you read divorce agreement, the mess made sense now.

"She could've told me this herself but NO, she sends a cherub to give me the papers already signed" Poor messenger, "She has been in heaven this whole time?" His horns erupted from his head, "I KNOW, RIGHT? Of all the places she could go to" noticing how you took a step back he put in his best efforts to relax again, or as much as possible.

"I already sign them, if I seal the envelope it will be sent back to heaven to processing" You walked to sat by his side, "You want to do this?" He looked up to your face, "I can't force her if she doesn't want to be with me" He waived his left hand, the envelope then flew out your hand to seal itself and in a second it disappeared with a bright white light.

"Give me your hand" he knew which one, so he did, you slid his ring off gently, then kissed his released finger, "Think about it as a chapter of a book, now you inevitably have to pass to the next page" your free hand left the ring on your thigh and went to clean a tear going down his eye.

"Otherwise how you're supposed to know what lies ahead?" He pressed his cheek against your hand, "It hurts" his broken voice sent a needle like pain on your heart, "Mourn this love, you tried your best".

He let out a broken sob, tears streaming down his face.

He remembered how happy he felt when he proposed to her and she said yes, how elated he felt when Charlie's birth took place, and all of his wife's love was true and present. Seven years of sleeping in a bed with an empty space that no longer had his presence or her scent. After the second year he didn't even use her anymore, the memory of when she was happy hurt him a lot.

Now, the cold he felt was erased, you were there to console him. He Intertwined his fingers with yours without taking your hand from his face.

"You've still haven't answered my question, why while being so close I feel you so far away?" You thought about it for a moment, "Sorry Luci, I initially wanted to keep you at arm’s length" he took the ring off your thigh, making it go away.

"I figured, it hurt" there was a slight flash of red in his eyes, "Sorry" he shook his head, standing up "Don't sweat it ducky" breaking the somber angsty moment, you laughed, "Why the laugh?" His smile returned to his face, "Ducky is also slang from my time, means that something is very good", he chuckled at that, he had meant it as a nickname.

"Speaking of very good things, Charlie spilled the beans of forgetting somebody's birthday, it was a few months ago" he had a sing-song tone in the word somebody, "Oh fuck, tell me she's not putting up balloons" he laughed in your face as he added "And serpentines".

You groaned, falling onto the bed, "I'm in hell".

"Since we already missed it, but tomorrow there will be a celebration, and we are close to the witching hour, I wanted to give you something first" he walked to his side of the bed, taking a red box from under it, "You got me a gift?" He placed the box next near as you sat on the bed.

After taking the lid off, the little girl that lived off hurt and grief awoke from deep within you, a yellow duck plushie sat at the bottom of the box, huggable size.

"Go to bed! You lying, no way!" Your voice took a higher tone as you took the stuffed animal out of the box.

"A plushie, how did you knew?!" You hugged the animal, "You told me, that time you came back drunk" your happiness didn't go away buy you did halted for a second, "What else did I told you? I can be a huge blabbermouth" Indeed you were.

"Your contract with Charlie, and what is about to happen...to you" you took a deep breath, "Oh shit, well I really love this, thank you" what is done is done, you couldn't change the past.

"I'm glad, I thought I made it too fluffy" after he told you he made it for you, the purring started, Lucifer slid on the bed to hear you better, "Oh there's my reward" flushed you hid your face in the plushie, "It ain't that cute" in response he lightly pinched your face, "It's adorable".

"Thank you, Luci" one of his hands took yours, lightly rubbing his thumb on your skin, "Happy birthday Y/n, you don't look a day over 120" he winked, "You were off by twenty years" his bright eyes held so much pain and happiness at the same time, "You also told me to remind you of something" he pushed the plushie down, setting it aside, "Of what?".

In a blink his lips captured yours, gently making pressure as he moved, his hand went from the bed to your cheek. The surprise made you hesitate for a second, your shaky arms passed his shoulders, hugging him closer, making him smile on your lips.

It made you laugh how he took a bit of leverage on you by sitting on your thighs, straddling your hips.

"That" he teased, "Now that was familiar" your hands felt his back, admiring the position, "How much do you remember?" You remembered most things, but you liked to mess with him.

"Bits and bits" he lowered to your cheek, placing a chaste kiss, "Say my name" he whispered, "Is it a kink for you?" You gasped, his kiss landed on your neck next, "Say it" he moved again, his eyes on yours as you said it, "Lucifer".

His name rolling down your mouth made him crazy. Kissing you again, he felt like making it a little more intense, he pressed your body against the bed towering over you, his tail taking hold of your thigh.

His tongue licked the rim of your lip, asking for permission, "My tongue feels like sandpaper, like a cat" You shook your head, he smiled while snapping his fingers, then your tongue was smooth as normal, "May I now?" You nodded, his lips attaching to yours, finding a small gap to introduce his forked tongue into your mouth.

With one hand he leveled himself over you, while the other snaked his way to the back of your head, pressing you against him.

A small whine called his attention, he wanted to check on you, but when he separated a bit you brought him back, pushing yourself upwards and hugging his back with your arms. He hummed in delight, seeing that he was corresponded.

He made noises of his own, sighing when you took gentle fistfuls of his golden locks into your hands, those sent electric pulses down your core.

After a while, you stopped, pressed your forehead against his.

"You make me so confused" You whispered, "How so?" Though your hands on his shoulders, you could almost feel his heart beat, "I do feel scared, but in the middle of the day I think about coming back here, with you, and it excites me", and the thing that makes you scared is to lose the warmth again.

Giddy as he could feel, he smiled, "Well I do make a hell of a cuddle buddy". Laugh, that was all you could do. The lights on his room went on again, making the disaster look less worse than you thought.

"Now that you're single, I'm sure Angel can help you out if you would like to get out there again, the lady demons will eat you up with a smile" a direct stab to his heart, one that brushed off with a smile.

"I'm sure they would, but I'm pretty comfortable with you" there was no way he meant it, or was it? "While you look for a partner right?" He shook his head, "Stay...with me" why would he say that? Is already the second time he made that proposal.

"What if you get bored of me?" Worried, he noticed you were, "We sleep on separate beds until we miss each other" it was his turn to have his hands on your face, brushing off strands of hair, "I'm damaged" he smiled, "So am I, we have so much in common" how he could be so happy when you were so hesitant?

"I have issues and quirks and weirdness" how he could be so loving with you? He just lost his wife forever maybe, "I have depression, I'm weird and have a lot of energy, I may exhaust you one day" the sad look he gave you despite his smile torn apart something deep within you, "You could never" pressing a kiss against his temple made him hum happily, "I don't know if I'm ready for a commitment" you confessed, specially having your heart divided.

"Then, may I court you?" imagine a light, but instead of coming off his body only, it enlightened the whole room with an angelic hue, that’s how exited (nervous), he was. "We could go out, get to know each other, maybe seal the deal if I convince you" he said ever so sly, adding a bit of seduction to the mix, his charm was irresistible, "Okay, but if Charlie asks, it was your idea, I really don't want my horns pulled off again".

"You had horns?" he touched your forehead to try to find any reminiscent of horns, he was confused because he didn’t even found a scar, his eyes flashed a red hue again for a second, then he understood, he was able to see the colorful rim of your seal that kept your real self, hidden away.

He stood up and moved away, his magic aiding him to clean the mess he had done. Afterwards you ordered him to eat his dinner, the one that was kept decently warm under the silver lid. He took a few glances off the food to see you hugging the stuffed animal close to your heart.

How to explain what he was seeing? You, your eyes so lit with a joy that had been taken from you and denied for so long. You held the little animal so close to your heart, your knuckles forcibly white, as if you were afraid that at any moment someone was going to take it away from you.

He saw a girl, the girl that maybe you once were. A happy little girl with a birthday gift that she promises to always use until she wears it out, and maybe love it even if it is in tatters.

"How are you liking the plushie?" he finished eating, making his way to you, "I think he will take your place tonight" he gasped, acting offended, "What? I'm better than a plushie, I come with hugs".

"This might sound weird, because it is, but tomorrow morning, would it be possible for me to brush your hair?" Lucifer couldn’t avoid blushing, his surprise alarming you a little, "It's something I saw some people do for others, I just, okay it's stupid" he smiled, "A couples thing" you nodded, closing your eyes as you saw his face getting closer and closer, until he placed a peck on your nose, "I would love to".

You left a few minutes to eat your portion of dinner, then when you returned, Lucifer was in the middle of the room, only in his brief, short black boxers that made his ass tight.

"Oh hey, I come in the wrong time" you laughed, closing the door and facing it as fast as lighting, "You're too cute for my health" he laughed, his hoofed feet sounding closer and closer to you, "Look, nothing out of the ordinary" he turned you around, both hands on your hips, your back against the door.

Another set of scars making his sides look greyish, burned patches, by the look on your eyes he couldn’t make out if you wanted to ask about them, kill the person who did them, (not that you could really), or do the crying instead of him.

“Don't mind those” since his hands were already on your hips, he took on the opportunity to hug you, “You know? you asked me why I was bothered with things so earth bound" you bump your head against the door, "Me and my big mouth" his tail went around your leg.

"You should speak your mind more often, also, just so you know, I don’t want you to show me if you don’t want to, but I can see the spell surrounding you" ‘Again, I hate the way you see through me’ you thought, making the spell go away at will for the first time, because the other one was because of anger reasons.

"Alastor saw me like this, I couldn't tell if he was scared or disgusted" he chuckled, "For his own sake, he better not say a fucking insult your way" If he could purr he would, especially taking in your entire appearance at once. Broken brown horns, your wings dragging on the ground, the connection between your back and the bone was clearly loose and broken, you also had several spaces without fur, old brown marks that made his heart cry.

You decided to break the focus the king was on your skin, for two reasons the silence was giving you psychosis and at the rate he was going you would end up biting him, and not in a non-sexy way.

"Hey Luci, did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" he took his cheek off your stomach and frowned in surprise, "Uhm yes, why?", you tried not to laugh in anticipation giving the stupidity you were about to say, "Because your beauty is angelical" but the punchline made you lose it, literally laughing your ass off while he pinched his nose trying to hold his own chuckle.

The next morning, something that came to you like second nature was waking up next to Lucifer. You usually had him hugged your waist like those little parasitic fish that hang from the skin of sharks, except that he was one of the good little fish, or rather a little duck that has a very bad awakening.

If you have seen a Polish chicken and the crazy hairstyle they have, then you can get an idea of what Luci looked like in the mornings.

You'd wake him with a few gentle caresses on his cheek, then watch him join you in the bathroom, heavy eyelids and sharp teeth showing from how much he yawned. For him, having you comb his hair was another level of intimacy that went beyond sex, due to his height his head was at the height of your breasts, he was perfectly fine using you as a pillow while you fixed the pompadour that he liked to wear every day.

He enjoying himself while you were fighting with a lock of hair as proud as him that did not want to fall in line under the hairspray.

Both already dressed, just like the demon on the radio (but don't tell him) Lucifer left his bowtie untied just for you to fix it, the occasional brush strokes of your fingers against his neck getting to puff up his feathers.

Internally you wanted to die, or run away. Charlie is very good at making up for shit she screws up, and forgetting your birthday wasn't necessarily an action that would hurt you, to be honest, since you hadn't celebrated it in a long time, simply no one, not even you, remembered it.

Even the bar had balloons and serpentines, the amount of confetti that came out of the sides of the stairs when you came down was so much that you would be spitting out pieces of colorful paper from now until the anniversary of the deal between you and her.

"Happy belated birthday" here and there, there was even cake, but Nifty had baked it so for safety's sake you didn't take a bite of it, no one in fact. Everyone swore they saw something moving inside the cake.

You and Lucifer agreed to go out that night, Alastor seeing this couldn't help but feel like something was slipping through his fingers. Almost as if he had the deer on the edge of the nose of his rifle and his trigger jammed.

"You look so beautiful, dear, ready for a second part of the celebrations?" ever so harshly he tried to get you away from Lucifer as he could, “Actually, Bambi, she and I will be going out right now” If the king's mocking smile wasn't enough of a kick in the guts for Alastor, the nickname made his blood boil.

“Isn’t it unfair to snatch the birthday girl on her day?” Him and Luci were starting to het dangerously close, “Belated day” you tried to add, “Not that you knew either” lucifer smiled, the air getting thick. “Guys?” you tried again, no reaction, “Big bad Bambi is going to stop me from treating her to a nice evening?” Lucifer bared his fangs to the deer demon, but far from make him retreat, he encouraged him so, the dials in Alastor’s eyes turning a furious shade of red.

“I could offer her something better” the king snorted in response, “Voodoo doll making and killing don’t make much of a date, you know?” the bickering went on like that until Alastor pushed a limit, “How about you go beg your wife for some sympathy instead?” now before Lucifer could utter a single word you put yourself in between them.

“Alastor, enough” he had to blink a few times to acknowledge you in the middle, “I think I have the right to spend my days however I want, do I not?” he growled a ‘Yes’, “Then we’ll have a drink in your studio once I’m back, how about it?” now it was that or making you angry enough to ignore him again, “Fine”.

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Part 10

Stay tuned :3

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saltandburnheathens · 1 month

Text

Good morning Miss Winnie. (Part II)

Part I

Pairing: Dean Winchester X Reader.

Rating: Gen.

Summary:

Two weeks after Dean became a father, it's time to jump back on the hunting horse. But he's hesitant.

Notes: Non-canon, no time line. And I don't ever want kids. But I just became an aunt and I sort of need to get this out of my system! Short and I'm not promising that I won't continue this. Who knows really. Finally this was written after I'd taken my usual nightly gummy.

“Bonnie?”

You shot Dean a look across the kitchen. He was cooking eggs on the stove while you were nursing. Castiel was the only other member of the bunker awake at six a.m. and, fortunately, occupied the library. It wasn’t that you cared about the other men seeing you breastfeeding, it was how they reacted to it. Both became very awkward and outwardly attempted to look anywhere but at your breasts.

“You can’t accept Winnie, but you pick Bonnie?”

Dean shrugged.

“I was just thinking if we had a boy we could call him Clyde. We’d have our own little gang.”

“Firstly, I’m not doing this again. And secondly, Bonnie and Clyde were felons.”

“What do you mean ‘you’re not doing this again?’ Don’t most women go crazy for more kids? They smell the baby's head and some hoo-doo helps them forget about the pain and bodily fluids.”

“Yeah, well. You try being in labour for damn near forty eight hours and shitting yourself in a room full of people. Including the man you love. Then come back and tell me you’ve forgotten about it and wanna do it all over again.”

“Point taken.” Dean laughed, plating up eggs and bacon for them both, “And you didn’t shit yourself by the way.”

“I didn’t?”

“I think I’d remember.”

You smiled at the plate of food and carefully lifted the baby from your breast. She’d long since stopped feeding and was instead squirming, ready to be winded.

“I can take it from here.” Dean reached down and lifted the little girl up into his arms. He held her upright against his chest and began rubbing circles into her small back, “There we go kiddo. Get it up.”

“Be careful.” You warned.

“I’m not taking any chances.” Dean gestured to the polka-dot muslin cloth on his shoulder.

You watched as he gently walked your daughter around the kitchen, her little body squirming while he cooed into her ear. She made several little squeaking noises, threatening to cry, only to be brought back to earth by her father’s tender voice.

“Come on now, no tears. I’ve got you.”

Your eyes locked with Dean’s for a moment, both reflecting a soft smile. He was proving to be an excellent father, not that you’d doubted him for a second. But Sam had. He’d been very vocal about Dean knowing nothing about babies and how, despite the fact that he was happy for you both, he thought this whole ‘raising a family thing’ was a bad idea.

“You guys are great together! But I don’t think this is the right environment for a kid.” Or something along the same bullshit.

Dean had been adamant about her though. He damn near refused to speak to Sam until he stopped with his questions and logical answers. Sure you both had been sceptical about bringing a child into this life, but neither of you had actively prevented it. If it happened, it happened.

Speaking of the devil. Sam groaned and stretched his arms above his head, stumbling into the kitchen. He dug the palm of his hands into his eyes, drawing them down his face afterwards.

“Morning. Coffee’s in the pot.” Dean said, his voice shifting from Dad to brother by just an octave.

Sam poured himself a hefty mug before offering more to the kitchen. You declined but insisted that he fill up Deans.

“He’ll need the caffeine for your hunt.”

“Oh so you’re back on the job then?” Sam questioned, his eyebrows rising.

Dean’s brow furrowed as he shifted the little one on his chest. He searched her face, the cogs visibly turning in his head.

“I’ll get back to you on that one.”

“What? I thought you’d be happy to get back on the horse.” You’d assumed that after being out of work for almost two weeks that Dean would be craving a hunt, but his face said otherwise.

“Yeah. I mean I am. But she - “

“She’ll be right here when you get back.” You interrupted, “It’s a simple in and out job. Right Sam?”

“Sure. Run of the mill ghost in the attic for some old friend’s of Bobby’s.” Sam took a lengthy sip of his coffee, “And it pays too.”

“See? And we could use the cash for Winnie.”

Sam scoffed, barely holding onto the coffee in his mouth. He looked between you both and then to his niece.

“Winnie?”

“Short for Winchester but not her name. Just a placeholder until we find the perfect one.” You inform, “But what’s so wrong with Winnie anyway? It’s a perfectly acceptable name.”

“Nothing wrong with it at all. It’s just not what I pictured you both to come up with.”

“Fortunately it’s not.” Dean added, shifting the baby from one arm to the other as she reached up with her little hands, “As for the hunt, I’m not sure.”

He offered a finger for her hand to close around, eyes never leaving her. the features on his face softened, lips almost pulling downwards into a frown.

You exchanged a knowing look with Sam.

“If this is about Win- her- you don’t need to worry. I can cope fine on my own for one night.” You offered

“Yeah but what if it isn’t just one evening?” Dean answered, his voice doing nothing to disguise the concern he was feeling.

“It’s only a few towns over. We’ll be home by four am - ”

“But what if something goes wrong? Huh? Then what? I’ve left my wife without a husband, my little girl without a father. And -”

You jumped to your feet at the distress in his voice and rushed to loop an arm around his middle.

“Don’t say that. It’s a run of the mill job, something you guys have done one thousand times over. Nothin’ bad is gonna happen other than a few bruises.” You laid your head on his shoulder, eyes coming to settle on the little lady in his arms, “I can deal with those. And she’ll not know any different.”

With a deep sigh, Dean kissed you gently on the head. It was an uncharacteristic display of affection, especially in front of his brother, but you hadn’t the heart to react. You knew he was feeling vulnerable, that much was clear in his reaction, and to draw attention to it would only make things worse. Instead you settled against him and allowed his warmth and the soothing sounds of your baby to still your own anxiety.

You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that some part of you was fearful of your husband walking out of the bunker and never coming home. Hunting was a dire job, one which had claimed the life of many of your comrades. Dean may be an experienced hunter, renowned in his own right, but he certainly wasn’t immune to unfortunate outcomes. That much had been proven time and time again.

Lost in thought, the only sounds in the kitchen were the gentle fussing of your daughter and the whirring of the circulation fans.

Finally Castiel broke the silence with his sudden entrance. He appeared in a flurry of feathers, one coming to land on the table top by your abandoned coffee cup.

“We have doors, Cas. Use ‘em.” Dean warned, pulling your daughter closer to his chest as she began to fuss.

“I’m sorry, Dean. It’s a force of habit.” Castiel answered, taking a seat next to Sam, “I startled her.”

“You think?!”

You moved to take the baby from Dean but he shook his head, whispering a small ‘I got this’ back to you as he started to rock her from side to side. But it was no good, her cries grew louder and more furious. You began to wonder how those big sounds could even come from such a small creature.

Before you could offer your help again Castiel brushed past you.

“I didn’t mean to scare her.” He said, coming to stand in front of Dean “Is there anything I can do?”

“Here” to your surprise, Dean held your daughter out towards the angel, “You can settle her down while I grab her diaper bag.”

You lean in and quickly sniff.

“I don’t think she needs changed, D.”

“Well I don’t know what else to do. She -”

Castiel reached forward and lifted the infant from Dean. He brought her to settle in the crook of his arm, offering up his fingers for her to grab at. Gradually she began to quiet, her hands reaching up for Castiel’s and her eyes wide, staring into his face.

You and Dean watched on in outward confusion. Castiel, to your knowledge, had never handled a baby before. At least not in recent years.

“How did you do that?” Dean asked almost aggressively, “She was cryin’ up a storm seconds ago and you just took her and nothing.”

“Did you use your grace?” Sam suggested.

“She’s much too small to handle my grace in any capacity. It would kill her.”

You considered jumping in and taking her from Castiel but stopped yourself. She was settled and happily holding onto the angel's fingers. No sense in ruining it. Beside you Dean was tense, clearly struggling with something along the same lines. His face was etched in hard lines and you could see his brows furrowing.

Gently you looped your arm through his and guided him to his long forgotten coffee cup. He moved but his eyes never left you daughter in the angel’s arms.

“So,” Sam cleared his throat, “About this hunt.”

“What about it?” Dean glared at him over the rim of his cup.

“Are you in or -”

“He’s in.” You answer before the question could even be finished.

“Wha - I -”

“Oh come on. You got this. I can handle her and Cas will be here if I need any help. Right Cas?” The angel gave something akin to a positive response, “You have to get back out there at some point.”

Dean’s gaze flickered from Sam to you, finally coming to land on Castiel. He watched the angel gently swaying the little girl in his arms and the lines on his face began to soften.

“Hmmm. You’re sure about this?” He asked.

“Positive.”

“If there’s any trouble, anything at all, you call me.”

“Sure.” You smiled, “But I doubt Winnie will be as much of an issue as your malevolent spirit.”

Dean chuckled, accompanied by Sam.

“God, we’re really going to have to talk about her name when I get back.”

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x female!reader #dean winchester fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction #dad!dean winchester #dad!dean

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wtftarot · 2 months

Text

PAC: The Sun

The Sun stands as the counterpart to the Moon. Representing clarity, the Sun leaves nothing in shadow. It speaks of blessings and growth. What do you need to learn from the Sun today? Let's fuck around and find out.

As always this reading is meant for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any way. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Masterlist

Pick the Sunflowers, the Kid or the Horse and head on to your reading.

The Sunflowers page cups Rx, Justice, 7 swords, the Fool, three cups, the hierophant Rx, temperance rx

A lot of things are lookin hazy for y'all, huh group one? The energy here is super interesting. First, y'all are entering an era that will redefine what you think it means to have a balanced life. You'll figure out what it means for you specifically. Which is awesome but that's not the focal point of your reading. There's something here that feels very sneaky, not in a harmful sorta way, more like a heist. It's like you're heisting yourself back. I fuckin love that. I think y'all may have lost yourself or a part of yourself somewhere along the way. The cards aren't saying how or why, which I feel is significant. While whatever happened had its impact, it's so much less important than this, than you, finding yourself again. Now you're scheming and plotting ways to get yourself back and it's beautiful. There's so much excitement and joy here. You may still have to hide them because of circumstances outside of your control but you're not burying them. You should feel absofuckinlutly no shame about it, fyi. You had to adapt, that's all. Now though, you are plotting and planning yourself towards a life that you don't have to adapt yourself to. The clarity you're getting is clarity of self. Things in your life feel a little hazy and off because they kinda are. You only "fit" your life as it is now because you lost those parts of yourself. Things were always 'off'. You edited yourself to what the situation called for. So, as you find yourself, you won't 'fit' the roles in life you used to. You're stepping into a life that gets you. A life where those parts of you are celebrated. Moving forward you may not get many satisfactory answers from sources outside of yourself on what to do. That's cause this is a time where you are creating the answers. You may find yourself doing a lot of inner-child work in the next few months. Deconstructing outdated teachings, or just seeing through bullshit you once thought to be true. Your awareness of when you are or are not acting in favor of your true self is being heightened. Now, this all feels like the inner-shift that has to happen before the external changes. So, you may wanna seek out some alone time or journal your thoughts cause I'm willing to bet you'll be having some epiphanies or ah-ha moments. This is awesome, babe. It's gonna be beautiful to see.

random ass vibes: Cats, 8,888, the wizard of oz, My Chemical Romance, shout out to all y'all with adhd/autism. religious upbringing? Red, "you can't buy happiness- steal it", goldenrod, something about acrylic nails? first time getting them? owls.

The Kid

The Sun rx, Nine of Swords Rx, Four of Cups Rx, Page of Wands, Knight of Cups, Eight of Wands Rx, Nine of Wands Rx, King of Swords Rx

This reading was interesting as hell to do. The short version is: Y'all are intuitive, you're just not letting yourselves simply BE intuitive. You try to force things or second-guess others and it's fucking you over.

There is a message that you may be spending too much on different divination tools when you don't need them. This reading is cool and frustrating. I had to walk away from your cards because every time I tried to read them, the message was muddled and contradicting itself? I'm writing this a day later because now that I'm not trying to force it, it's flowing like the goddamn Mississippi. I didn't even plan to get back to your reading yet. It's like 6,7 am? I was just drinking my coffee and the reading became clear. Which is the whole ass point of your reading. Everyone has different intuitive psychic skills and different skill levels but if y'all chose this group? Y'all are pretty fuckin psychic. Or you could be if you got over some self-doubt and shit. When I said you're not letting yourselves be intuitive, I mean you may be relying too much on divination tools and signs instead of your intuition. You can strengthen your intuitive gifts, and learn to interpret them more accurately but you can't force it. It seems like you've become so focused on trying to pick up on things psychically, that you're not even living in the moment anymore. Which leads us to the other side of this coin. When you're determined to know and see more when there's nothing there, you can start to take your anxieties for hits cause they're the only thing you got. It's sorta like how when you're looking into a dark space, and you start seeing things that ain't there. Which understandably makes you freaked out, then when the anxieties don't come true you doubt yourself cause your "intuition" was wrong. Truth is not everything is a sign or a hit. Sometimes a number's just a number and a bird's just a bird. A bad feeling in your gut is just your gut feeling bad. Truth also is sometimes true psychic hits are kinda dumb, most of the hits I get regularly are just my cat needing something. It's okay if your intuition is just when produce is on sale. You ARE psychic. You're also human. All of this is confusing and that's okay. We're always confused until we figure things out. This all came out with the Sun in reverse because y'all expect your intuition to be clear the way your other senses are clear. You're looking outside of yourself for something that dwells inside of you. The advice here is to learn to trust your inner instincts. I keep hearing "Play psychic games". Scry out what animals you're going to see the next day. Try to intuit what suit a card is before you turn it over. Being psychic isn't (always) foreshadowing doom, it can be super fun. Try to get readings on non-serious topics. Let your intuition flow and play.

y'all have no random ass vibes because you need to stop relying on external confirmation of your intuition.

The Horse

This reading may be triggering, I'm not sure if feelings of not deserving love are a trigger but just to be safe. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or the like please seek professional help. I'm just a chick with a computer and a deck of cards. Remember, don't do anything to compromise your safety.

I took some time between readings, and leading up to your reading horses kept popping up everywhere. I knew this reading would be different. I did pull some cards, but they feel unnecessary because y'all's guides are just talking to me. Why are y'all so convinced you won't get a happy ending? Mind out of the gutter, please. Thank you. You seem to be utterly convinced that you will never have a solid, safe, joyful life? "None of that is for me" is what I keep hearing. It's like there is one way to be happy, one sort of life that leads to happiness, and if you do not conform to that you're just doomed to die alone in squalor? There's this energy of I cannot do things my way and be happy. I can't be myself and loved. I just heard " I don't get to.." As in I don't get to be myself. I don't get to be loved. I don't know who made you feel that way but they better fucking hope I never see them. Or better yet, hope that future you never meets them. Cause sweetie, this reading? It's about your comeback. And HOLY FUCK YALL THIS WILL BE A HELL OF A COMEBACK. There's this overwhelming feeling of happy, unbridled defiance rearing its head in you. If you haven't felt it yet, you will soon babe don't worry. This may just be a heads-up. Defiance in the face of every fucking thing that makes you feel like you'll never get what you want. SPITE. That's what yall are embracing. I FUCKING LOVE THIS ENERGY YALL. SPITE IS MY ENTIRE LIFE PHILOSOPHY. This may be sort of a "villain era" for you. You're gonna be spitting in the face of everything that made you feel like you'd never be enough. YOU ARE ENOUGH. I want to be clear, you're not going to wake up and suddenly be immune to all the bullshit you've been told. You are however going to wake up and decide to live in defiance of what people have told you. That's why it'll feel sort of villainous, you may not feel like you deserve happiness (yet, give it time). BUT is 'deserving" it going to stop you? HELL NO! This is giving happiness is the best revenge. Those fuckers saying you can't be you and loved? They're gonna have to sit and WATCH YOU. And you get the pleasure of shoving your success, your happiness DOWN THIER FUCKING THROATS. Sometimes, you have to move towards things before you feel deserving or ready, so you can learn to feel deserving and ready. It's gonna take some work and strategizing, (y'all may wanna chat with some of the people in group one) I am so fucking pumped for y'all. If y'all don't feel this energy yet, you will soon I promise. In the meantime, maybe make a happy-upbeat revenge/spite playlist. Cause above all, this is about being HAPPY.

Random ass vibes: Danger Days, snakes, cats, 666, y'all may wanna look up Hopepunk, zombies,

#tarot reading #tarot #divination #tarot community #tarot cards #pick a card reading #pick a card #pick a pile #wtftarot #the sun

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writingforstraykids · 1 month

Text

I owe you a kiss - Pt.7

Pairing: Minchan x femReader

Word Count: 3592

Summary: The more time you spend with them, the more you realize you're not the only one struggling. Chan and you try to sort things out, making sure Minho feels safe at home as well.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, domestic bullshit, sick!whiny!chan, anxious!min, cuddles

A/N: Sooo...I guess there's still some potential for more. If you have any wishes or thoughts, feel free to share them below the post. in an ask, or send me a message🤭🖤

PART SIX | PART EIGHT

You left early this morning to surprise your husbands with breakfast. Chan told you he'd have the next two days off and stay home with you two. Minho was due for a photoshoot tomorrow so it would be only you and Chan. He's still been keeping his distance beside the kisses anywhere but your lips, the long hugs, and the fondling of your hair. Minho has been more openly showing his love and you were thankful for him. You know you'd have to talk to Channie about it but you could tell he was hesitant about pushing you into something. You quietly lock the front door and put the bags down on the table. The shower upstairs is running, which means at least one of them is up, so you start preparing everything.

Minho joins you downstairs a little later and gives you a loving kiss. “Good morning, honey,” he smiles sweetly.

“Morning, darling,” you smile into the kiss. “Channie's still sleeping?” you ask.

“Am I not enough?” he teases lovingly.

“Minnie,” you giggle, and his hands wander down your sides.

“He said something about a bad headache,” he tells you and fondles your back soothingly. “I don't know, maybe he's stressed, maybe it's the weather.”

“Oh,” you nod gently. “Did you give him some painkillers?”

“No,” Minho shakes his head, tilting his head at you. “I thought you could. He usually loves cuddling you when he's in pain.”

“I..uh,” you blink at him, watching his face grow soft.

“Channie and you really need to talk once he's better,” he says and gently caresses your head. “You know he loves you, right?”

“I try to,” you nod, chewing on your lower lip. “I miss him,” you admit quietly, feeling tears burn in your eyes.

“I know,” Minho pulls you into a warm hug and kisses your head. “It's a bit more difficult for the two of you because he left off when he wasn't feeling much, struggling to tell you he loves you and more. He doesn't want to force himself onto you, scared that he'll hurt you,” he says. “He…he also feels like you need me more at the moment and feel more safe around me.”

“Oh,” you say quietly.

“I don’t blame any of you, I think you two should just talk, hm?” he suggests. “Now come on, baby, Channie needs you.”

“What about you?” you ask, confused.

“I have to leave for the shoot in a bit,” he says, seeing your face fall, knowing you must’ve forgotten.

“I thought that’s tomorrow,” you admit, a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Min.”

“No, don’t be sorry, honey,” he smiles at you reassuringly. “That only means we can all spend some time together tomorrow. That’s even better now that Channie isn’t feeling so well today,” he tells you.

You chuckle softly, cupping his face and kissing his forehead. It all feels so easy with Minho, easing out every little thing you forget so smoothly. “Make sure to eat something first, okay? Or at least take something with you.”

“I will,” he promises, unable to hide the soft blush coloring his ears at your gentle gesture. He peeks into the bag on the table, and a wide smile covers his face. “You got some pudding as well?”

“Mhm,” you hum, smiling softly as he takes it out and stares at the package before spinning back around to you.

“Wait, that’s my new favorite…how would you-?” his eyes widen with excitement as you nod gently.

“Seeing it I had the feeling you love that one,” you nod. “Like not…a specific memory, but I felt weirdly sure about it,” you tell him, heart warming at the way he beams at you happily.

“I hope you know how great you’re doing,” he says so softly it tugs at your heartstrings. “That first breakthrough was only a week ago, and here you are,” he giggles.

You exhale softly, nodding. “I’m glad because that means there’s an actual chance I’ll start remembering more,” you smile, laughing, surprised as he kisses you fiercely. Minho doesn’t pull away, hands pulling you in as close as he can. Your hand automatically wanders up into his hair, your other resting on his arm as you kiss back. Two steps and your back hits the counter. Minho reaches down, hands wrapping around the back of your thighs, and lifts you up onto the counter effortlessly without breaking the kiss apart. His fingers dig into your thighs as he deepens the kiss with a low hum, and you can tell he has trouble holding himself back. “Minho,” you whisper against his lips. “Min, stop,” you say gently, and he does immediately.

He searches your eyes, a hint of anxiety in the pure need coating his orbs. “Sorry,” he pants softly, reddened lips parted and glistening from the heavy kisses. “I-I should’ve asked first.”

You cup his face, soothingly rubbing his thumbs across his cheeks. “My dear Min,” you say softly. “I’m your wife, and I appreciate you asking, but right now, there’s really no need to,” you assure him, and he visibly relaxes. “You’re gonna be late.”

“Is that all?” he asks mischievously.

“Min,” you snort.

“Is that the only reason I can’t have you for breakfast instead?” he asks again.

“Yes, that’s the only reason,” you giggle, gently shoving his chest. “Now fuck off, Min.”

He smirks, gently squeezing your thighs, and takes a step back. “You owe me tons of kisses later,” he announces giddily.

You laugh, hop back down, and kiss him once more. “Stay safe, okay?”

“I have to,” he says gently. “I really want that kiss,” easing both of your worries hidden beneath this small exchange.

“I’ll go check on Chan now,” you tell him, and he hums agreeingly.

Only a little later, you carefully open the door to your bedroom, trying to close it as quietly as possible. “Channie?” you whisper, and he hums groggily in response. “I brought you some painkillers and water. Do you think you can sit up for a moment?”

Chan groans in response before pushing himself up. He squints at you sleepily, trying to ignore the pulsing pain shooting through his head at sitting up. You sit down at the edge of the bed next to him, handing him the pill. Chan drowsily takes it and lets you bring the glass to his lips, taking a few sips.

“You’re hungry?” you ask, still keeping your voice barely above a whisper.

“No,” he mumbles, eyes already falling closed again. “Feel sick.”

“Oh, poor baby,” you say softly, and Chan blindly reaches out for you.

“Stay?” he asks pleadingly.

“If you want me to,” you say gently.

Chan nods before contorting his face. “Ow,” he whines softly, scrunching up his nose adorably. “I think I’m dying.”

You bite back a soft chuckle and climb back into bed, getting comfortable next to him. “Come here, you big baby,” you tell him, and he doesn’t need a second invitation to curl up in your arms.

“M’not a baby,” he mumbles softly into your chest, burying his face in your comforting warmth.

“You really wanna argue now?” you tease him lovingly. “I thought you were dying.”

“Fuck you,” he giggles weakly, pulling you closer. “It really hurts, Y/nnie,” he whines after a moment of silence.

You forget sometimes how needy he gets when he’s in pain. “What hurts, baby?”

“My stomach,” he groans softly.

“Let me get you a heat-” you start and sit up, but he pulls you back down.

“Don’t go,” he pleads, looking at you with those big brown puppy eyes you couldn’t say no to.

“Channie, angel, I’m trying to help,” you giggle softly.

“You are,” he says timidly. “Hold me, please? I…I really missed that. I missed you.”

Oh. “I’m here,” you tell him softly, welcoming him back into your arms. You gently run your hand through his hair, and he melts into you with a soft sound. “Is that okay?” you ask as you carefully start massaging his scalp.

“Yeah,” he breathes out. “Feels good.”

“Tell me if it hurts, okay?” you ask gently, and he hums. The tension in his body lessens a little the longer you massage his scalp, running your fingers through his messy curls. You don't know how long you stay like this with him, but you have the feeling he's asleep after a while, his breathing growing calm. His head is tucked in safely beneath yours, his hand slipped beneath your sweater resting against your lower back. It almost feels normal again if there weren't that stupid little voice in the back of your head telling you differently.

Chan turns in his sleep, scooting back as he misses your warmth. “Baby,” he whines sweetly, reaching back for your hand. He pulls your arm forward so you're hugging him and cuddles back into you.

You chuckle softly and scoot closer, planting a tiny kiss on the back of his neck. “I'm here, Channie, I'm here,” you promise quietly.

“Still hurts,” he mumbles, only half awake.

You gently slip your hand beneath his shirt, resting it on his tummy. “Here, baby?” you ask gently, and he hums in response. You start rubbing soothing circles over his tummy, trying to ease him a little.

Chan exhales, relieved, sinking back into his slumber. You bury your nose in his shoulder, closing your eyes as your senses are flooded with him. His skin feels warm beneath your fingertips, his soft breathing lulls you in, and his scent surrounds you. “I love you so much,” you whisper, and he doesn't stir one bit, finally fully asleep.

Minho gets home later to the sight of you two cuddled up in bed. Chan's head is resting on your chest now as he sleeps on top of you. You have your arms wrapped around him lazily, looking peaceful in your sleep. He smiles softly and leans down, lovingly fondling your head and brushing back Chan's curls. He doesn't want to wake you two up yet, but glancing at his watch, he knows he should. Neither of you would be able to sleep tonight otherwise. “Hey, my loves,” he tries gently, rubbing Chan's back and your arm to get you to wake up.

“No,” Chan protests sleepily.

“Come on, Channie. You won't be able to sleep tonight,” he tells him, and Chan groans softly. “Y/nnie, wake up, honey,” he says gently, and a shiver runs down his spine as you’re too deep asleep to react. “Y/n?” he asks again, and Chan looks up at his tone.

“Kitten,” he says soothingly and sits up, rubbing his face. “She's okay,” he promises. Minho glances at you worriedly until Chan gently grabs his chin and turns his head to face him. “Breathe.” He reaches out for you, tickling your side.

“Ey, fucker!” you curse sleepily, swatting his hand away.

Minho blinks at you for a moment before a weak laugh falls from his lips. “Fucks sake,” he whispers to himself. “I'm such an idiot,” he mutters and gets up, grabbing his keys from the nightstand. “Come down once you're ready, yeah? I brought lunch.”

Chan watches him thoughtfully as he leaves and glances back down at you. “Come on, pretty,” he giggles softly.

“Ugh, fine,” you groan and sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. “How's your head?”

“A lot better,” he tells you, grabbing a sweater from his closet.

“Your stomach?”

“All good,” he smiles gently. “Thank you, baby girl.”

“Of course,” you mirror his smile, but you see the worry lacing his features. “What's wrong?”

“I don't know, something's off with Min,” he says. “You didn't react when he tried to wake you, and I think he got scared for a second.”

“Oh,” you nod gently and tilt your head at Chan. “Maybe that's it. I'm sure he'll be fine. If not, we're there.” Chan nods agreeingly and offers you his hand, helping you out of bed.

Chan exchanges a look with you as a loud thunder ripples through the air. “You know what that means?”

“More cuddles and a movie?” you smirk back.

“Exactly,” he grins, pulling you downstairs with him.

Minho already sets the table and smiles tiredly as you join him downstairs. Another thunder makes him flinch, barely noticeable, and he takes a deep breath. “Just rain,” he tells himself quietly.

“You need help with anything?” you ask him.

“No, it's okay, you guys can sit down,” he tells you and grabs you all some glasses from the cabinet. Chan and you continue talking as Minho pours you all something to drink. The rain outside picks up, hammering against the roof.

“I think we should turn on the light, it's getting darker every minute,” Chan says, getting up to do so.

“Yeah, that's a lot better and-,” you break off as the next thunder makes Minho flinch so hard he's pouring the lemonade all over your lap.

“Oh shit, I'm so sorry,” he apologizes immediately, putting it down and grabbing some tissues. You watch him cautiously as he tries to clean the mess up as well as he can and notice his hands shaking heavily.

“Min?” you ask gently and exchange a look with Chan. Something is very wrong. “Min, look at me.” He does, and there's fear in his eyes, looking like he's about to zone out. “Minnie, what's -.”

Outside, a car suddenly hits the brakes, an ugly screeching sound rippling through your ears. Minho covers his ears with his hands in horror and presses his eyes closed, exhaling shakily. “It's okay, everything is okay,” he whispers, and the sight breaks your heart as you connect the dots.

Chan seems to pick up on it as well, as you both move at the same time. Chan pulls Minho against his chest, wrapping his arms around him from behind. He soothingly rubs his chest and meets your eyes as you step in front of them. You gently take Minho's hands and pull them from his ears. “Minho, darling, look at me,” you say gently, and Minho does, gasping softly. “We're okay. It's just bad weather, but we're safe, okay?”

“Okay,” he nods quickly and tries to focus back on you. You cup his face, and he covers your hands with his own, taking a deep breath. “Okay,” he whispers.

“Remember what you told me this morning?” you ask, and Minho chuckles weakly.

“You owe me at least one kiss,” he says, slowly relaxing in Chan's hold combined with the sound of your voice.

“Yeah,” you giggle softly. “We're okay, hm?”

Minho nods before dropping his head onto your shoulder with a soft sound. “I'm sorry,” he says and wraps one arm around you, his other hand finding Chan's on his chest.

“Don't be,” Chan tells him gently.

“It's okay,” you assure him.

“I love you two so much,” he sighs softly, and you both squeeze him gently.

“We love you too, kitten,” Chan answers for the both of you.

You stay there for a while until Minho giggles softly. “You can let go now.”

“You're sure?” Chan smirks.

“Very sure,” Minho snorts.

“You already have enough of our love?” you chime in teasingly.

“Never,” he giggles.

“Then what's the rush, huh?” Chan chuckles, covering the back of his neck with tiny kisses as you do the same to his face.

“Oh, for fucks sake,” he laughs happily. Chan and you exchange a fond gaze at the so beloved sound, knowing he's okay. “I can't reheat lunch again.”

“Fine,” you giggle, letting go of him again.

The movie’s long finished as you're still all on the sofa. Minho's stretched out on the sofa, his head resting in your lap, legs thrown over Chan's. He's asleep by now, exhausted from his day. You mindlessly play with his hair, drawing patterns on his face in awe. Chan absentmindedly fondles his thighs, head back against the headrest as he stares at the ceiling. You glance at him, gently running your hand through his hair. “How's your head?” you ask as his eyes flutter close at your touch.

“Much better,” he assures you gently, turning a little to face you. Looking into his eyes, you can see the many questions in them, mirroring your own. “Y/nnie?” he asks, barely audible.

“Mhm?” you hum, still playing with his curls.

“Do you…Do you still love me? Actually love me?” he asks so timidly your breath hitches in shock.

“I-,” you stare at him, almost confused. Wasn't that supposed to be your question?

Chan takes your silence the wrong way and nods, turning away from you. “Okay…fuck,” he whispers, his throat tightening. He's up before you know it, leaving the two of you as tears fill his eyes, and he feels like he can't breathe.

You need a moment to process what's happening before quickly getting up, resting Minho's head on a pillow, and covering him with a blanket.

Chan's upstairs in the bathroom, bracing himself on the sink so firmly that his knuckles turn white. His head hangs low, but you know the way his body’s trembling; he's holding back sobs. You slip underneath his arm so you're trapped between his body and the sink. “Channie,” you whisper, helplessly cupping his face. Your hands meet his wet skin, and you try to wipe his tears away. “Channie, my dear boy.”

“I'm sorry I messed it all up,” he whimpers. “I shouldn't have pushed you away back then, and I shouldn't have now. I swear I'll make it up to you. Please just give me a chance,” his voice cracks at the last bit.

“Okay, okay, come here,” you say, pulling him into your arms. He buries his face in your shoulder, shaking in your arms. “Listen closely now, yeah?” you ask, waiting for his nod. “I will never stop loving you. Min told me how rough those months before the accident were for you, and I won't judge you for that. I know how hard you try to make Min and me comfortable, don't think I don't see that,” you tell him gently, soothingly rubbing his back as he grows calmer in your hold. “I'm scared I'm not the woman you love anymore because, well, I forgot a lot, and I carry a lot of baggage around now. And seeing you keeping your distance, I only felt like I was right about that…but maybe we're scared of the same thing about ourselves?”

Chan pulls back and smiles at you with teary eyes. “Y/nnie, you don't mean anything less to me than when we met. Fuck, you mean so much more to me by now. I just…Now that I got it back it feels like I don't know where to put all that love I have for you two and..I try bottling it up before scaring you off.”

“Please don't,” you tell him gently. “You've always been so loving, don't try to hide that. I really miss that, angel.”

Chan leans his forehead against yours in defeat and takes a shuddery breath. “So we're okay?” he asks timidly.

“We're okay,” you whisper. “Can I kiss you?” you ask and Chan's body automatically searches yours, fingers digging deep into the fabric of your sweater.

“Please,” he breathes out. Your lips meet, pulling a soft sound from him. “Missed you so much,” he whispers into the kiss, hands cupping your face so delicately as if you were made of glass.

You only pull back once you feel he's ready and wrap your arms around his neck, cuddling into him. “I love you, Channie. So, so much. Never forget that.”

“I love you too,” he smiles softly. “I'll do better.”

You shake your head and soothingly run your hand through his hair. “Channie…I think sometimes we forget we interrupted your healing process with that stunt we pulled.”

“Don't call that a stunt,” he laughs in protest.

“Okay,” you giggle, amused. “But like…you were working things out and coming back…Min told me how fucked up he was. I know that fight we had and what happened today is only a small glimpse of what you dealt with. So, you didn't really have time to get back home.”

“I suppose not,” he nods gently, frowning a little.

“I can't change the fact that I need to be patient for my memories to come back…even if it's just partially,” you say and gently kiss his head. “But I will try my best to help you two feel comfortable around me and make sure you have a loving home.” Chan doesn't say anything, but the way he clings to you tells you everything you need to know. “Let's go get Minnie, I think we could all use the extra hours of sleep today.”

“Mhm, okay,” he hums softly, not quite ready to let go of you.

“We can cuddle, angel,” you promise, and he pulls back with the sweetest smile on his lips.

Chan gently picks up Minho from the sofa who protests with a soft whine. “Shh, it's okay, just taking you to bed,” he says fondly.

Minho wraps his arms around him sleepily. “You two are okay?” he asks softly, having noticed your sudden absence.

“Yeah, we're okay,” Chan nods.

“That's good,” Minho smiles sweetly, kissing his neck sleepily.

He doesn't protest much as Chan lowers him into bed and cuddles into you contently. Chan climbs into bed on your other side, doing the same. You fall asleep much more at peace than usual. You'd take care of your boys now.

PART SIX | PART EIGHT

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

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