#aspec experience

[charlie-and-mushrooms]

Growing up aromantic

you know, when i was younger i thought movies and books were exaggerating romantic attraction. maybe they were a little bit, but i never felt the buttlerflies, or thought about that someone all the time. i never wanted to kiss people or go on dates. and when i watched movies or shows, i always cringed and looked away when they had that really slow weird scene before the kiss. or i just felt annoyed and told the characters to get on with it and kiss already.

sure, i sometimes felt nervous around people, but it wasnt romantic. i never faked crushes either, i have had three instances where i genuinely thought i had a crush in my entire life, but i either just wanted to be their friend, or it was gender envy. i assumed it was romantic attraction because if movies and books are exaggerating the feelings of it, then this must be what it feels like.

when i finally did date someone, i genuinely thought i liked her at first. but as it went on, i realised that i didnt like holding hands all the time, i didnt like cuddling (altough that might be more related to my anxiety, because i would be worried about shifting and so i would just stay in an uncomfortable position and ignore it) and the biggest thing, was that i felt the exact same way towards them that i did to the rest of my friends. we talked it out, i made sure they knew it was not her fault and it was a healthy relationship and everything, but that i had figured out i was aro. she understood and were still friends, which is great.

i dont know, ive just seen tons of posts about this kind of thing, but never my exact expirence so i thought id share

#aromantic spectrum #aro #aromantic #aromantic pride #growing up aromantic #aromantic story #aro things #aro thoughts #lgbtq community #lgbtq #aspec #aspec pride #aspec experience #aro experience #aromantic experience #aro stuff #aro spec #aro spectrum #aro tag #aro rant #aro post #aro ace #aro vent #aromanticism #aromantic thoughts #aromantic things #lgbtqia #lgbt community #lgbt pride #lgbtqplus

[sunbloomdew]

do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely

like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day

#on love #aroace experiences #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aspec #aroacespec #sunbloom talks #<3 #just late night revelations #i like love and i love people :)

[redysetdare]

The response to "ace people are just virgins who can't get laid!" Shouldn't be "ace people can still have sex!" but instead " being a virgin isn't a bad thing."

The response to "aro people are just heartless freaks!" Shouldn't be "aro people can still feel love!" And instead be "not feeling love or other emotions doesn't make you a bad person."

Instead of pushing the idea that aspec people can be "normal like allos" we should instead be trying to normalize aspec experiences. Yes aspec people can be normal because aspec identities are normal. Some aros fall in love. some aces have sex. but they should not be the only valid aspec experiences. We should not use these experiences to make the aspec identity more palatable to amatonormativity and allos.

#text #aro #ace #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aspec #acespec #arospec #ik i made a similar post to this recently but i feel this one better words what i wanted to say with that one #ill leave the other posted but heres a more worded version ig #basically stop theowing repulsed and non partnering ppl under the bus #dont only validate favorable and partnering experiences when fighting aphobia #we are here too

[bloggingboutburgers]

Yeah, I know "not all aro/aces" and all, but please don't use "not all aro/aces" as an excuse to not explore anything exclusively aro/ace ever. Otherwise any trace of aro/aceness might end up effectively lost to fandom osmosis.

To sum up... If you wouldn't be homophobic that way, please don't be aphobic that way.

#no one can know i don't like sex #aspec #asexual #aromantic #tw aphobia #aspec erasure #my art #nonburger #am i gonna get bazooka'd for this #i think i'm making a good point others also have made before but i'm bracing to get bazooka'd for this #because... experience #anyway here goes nothing

[shmaroace]

don't get me wrong, i love all the positivity around being aro, like "be proud of being aro!! love who you are!!", but we never talk about how hard it is to reach that spot. so here's to the aros who are still trying to understand themselves, who aren't proud of who they are yet, who are still coming to terms with their new identity.

#i was in serious denial about being aro for a long time like i knew the label and knew it fit but i refused to use it for several months #even after that point it took a while for me to be comfortable with the label or saying it #and this is not a bad thing!! being aro basically requires you to undo all the societal brainwashing you grew up with #and there is so much arophobia that it's hard to find positivity #i got lucky w/ this blog and the people i follow but i know i had a hard time being as proud of myself and my queerness as i am now #this doesn't even really have to be an aro statement like i think it could fit most queer experiences #sorry for the long tags haha #aro #aromantic #arospec #aromanticism #aro pride #aro positivity #aroace #aspec #1k #5k #6k #7k

[zhoras-bitch]

Riz Gukgak will forever be my special little guy, because in a world where aspec characters are borderline non-existent, he was not just a cool character who happened to be aroace. He also had an incredibly compelling character arc unique to him as an aspec, and the character arc was so iconic it birthed one of the most memed moments in the entire series.

#tbc im not saying every aspec character's arc should be focused on their aspec identity #in fact it would get very annoying very fast #however aspec experience is so rarely addressed in anything ever #watching riz was so incredibly validating to me #in a way nothing else had ever been #at that time #dimension 20 #fantasy high #riz gukgak #bitch speaks

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

#you know. the one with the pendulum #'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this' #'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!' #'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you' #like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine #it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences. #but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification #and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs #when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck. #you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck. #and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters! #and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that #anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately #it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel #which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about. #but we'll have to do our best with what we have #aromantic #aromanticism #arospec #aroace #talking #aspec #asexual #asexuality

[where-that-old-train-goes]

not normal about orpheus and eurydice. you loved someone so much it opened the stones of the underworld. so much that death had to listen. so much that everything stopped for your love. so much that you turned around. so much that even when you did wrong. she forgave you.

#orpheus and eurydice #hadestown #maybe #maybe not #greek mythology #mythology #i think loving someone that much is the most human thing you can do #i think that’s what it means to be a person #not romantically #not necessarily. even a friend. a family member #orpheus #eurydice #hades #persephone #shrike speaks #taking back what i said about love making you human. it doesn’t #but i think it’s a beautiful experience. #so. much happiness is wished upon the loveless aspecs i spoke to a while back :)

[aro-barrel]

i’d like to read about non-white aro experiences (as well as experiences of aro people from outside the US and UK). i don’t think there are enough explicitly non-white conversations about aromanticism. i remember seeing a demographic poll a long time ago, with a majority of aromantic tumblr identifying as white, but non-white aros exist!

i want to hear from people who can’t/won’t come out because of cultural expectations or language barriers. people who use different words to describe their aromanticism. people who experience isolation from the aro community because they aren’t white (enough). i want to hear about aromanticism from new angles!

of course, no one is ever obligated to reveal their ethnicity or race online. but if anyone has seen writing on diverse aro experiences or if they want to share their own experiences, i’d like to read about other perspectives! (pls send stuff my way)

#aromantic #aro #queer #i think the aro community does a good job of accommodating diverse experiences #but i don’t think i see much non-white aro stuff #Japanese media does a really good job depicting aspec experiences #but i want more

[magnus-rhymes-with-swagness]

i get that many aroaces experience their aromanticism and asexuality as connected in some way, but it's still important to acknowledge that "aroace" and "aro/ace" are not umbrella terms for the entire aspec community. as somebody whose aromanticism and allosexuality are inextricably intertwined and can't be fully separated from one another, you don't see me using "aroallo" for all aspecs - that clearly wouldn't be an accurate reflection of the whole community! "aspec" is a good term that includes all of us - please consider using it when referring to the general community.

#aspec #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #aroallo #alloaro #alloace #aceallo #non-sam aro #non-sam ace #i wasn't going to tag this as anything other than aspec but you know what i think i will #i feel like sometimes people forget that their specific experiences aren't universal #and end up trying to apply them to everyone which of course only serves to exclude people #this isn't aimed at any one person or incident or anything it's just a trend i detest #PLEASE make an effort to include those in your own community. #my words

[pileofpawns]

Asexual people should get paid five dollars every time we realize a song is actually about something sexual. Please, Cake by the Ocean has been ruined for me, I need financial compensation,

#plum shitposts #asexual #aspec #acespec #it's like a universal experience #1k

[soup-child]

The fact that Adaine "i don't know if im asexual im 15" Abernant and Riz "why is everyone so horny im definately aroace" Gukgak both being in the same show is incredibly important to me

#like i was just like adaine at 15 and have slowly shifted more towards riz but i like that both are shown #having 2 characters with similar aspec experiences and showing how they react differently is great #and do i think adaine is ace? not really i think if she feels attraction she would put that on the back burner while she deals with her #anxiety and her family being the worst and even now thats shes dealt with all that i dont think its a storyline shell dive into #i think what im trying to get at is that having people support her being ace would help adaine regardless of how she ends up identifying #and i think that riz having a friend (one who doesnt identify as ace) is important for him and feeling like he fits in while being aroace #i dont know if that made any sense but they are best friends #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fhjy #riz gukgak #adaine abernant #you'll have to pry aroace riz from my cold dead hands #<- thats my aroace riz tag

[softandwigglybones]

This one is for all the aspecs who didn't feel like there's something wrong with them. To all those too oblivious or too indomitable to feel alienated. You're still awesome and you're still valid

#aspec #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #i pretty much constantly only see posts that talk about the ascpe experience of feeling different and being distressed by it #and those people are valid #but this one is for all my peeps that were more like “oh this label fits” and went on about their life as normal #don't derail please #gelatinous post

[redysetdare]

Oh no, you found a post where someone is saying they think sex/romance is gross! Whatever shall you do?

ignore it. literally ignore it. I'm 100% serious just fucking ignore it. it literally is not a personal attack on you. do not take it as a personal attack. scroll past it, hell block if you really need to, but you do not need to respond. it is not about you buddy - not everything is about you. close your eyes and move on buddy it's that easy. literally it is not systematically oppressing you for someone to say "Ew sex" or "Ew romance". just walk away pal.

#text #romance repulsed #sex repulsed #aro #ace #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #it is your job to curate your experience bud #if you find yourself in part of the community you are not happy or comfortable with...then leave. literally look at other posts #the more you interact with certain posts the more you get shown them #so literally go interact with posts you want to see more. block people who post things you dont want to see #curate your experience #dont attack people who are posting their experience that you personally don't agree with #there are a billion posts out there supporting you #why are you in a tag that you do not like

[slices-of-naranja]

do any of my friends know the love I carry in every word i say to them. When I add too many words, drag on a joke that’s over, when I message them despite the fact the conversation barely ended five minutes ago? every word i speak is an intimacy that’s laced with outright adoration for them as people and all the little details that make them who they are. Do you know I love you? Do y’all know how much of you I try to commit to memory? How much I try to make you smile? do y’all know the love I feel for you?

#ignore this I am just being philosophical and queer #very exhausted and overcome with human emotion #the human experience as pack animals is so fascinating #also fucked up friend emotions bc I’m aroace #and friendships mean so much to me #i am so sleepy #aromantic #asexual #aspec #asexuality #aromantism #queer platonic love #platonic love #i love you #friendship #late night emotions #alterous yearning #shouting into the void #free form poetry #poem

[idiealotdontworry]

queerplatonic in a "i feel a deep desire for an intimate but non-romantic/sexual life partnership" way, but also queerplatonic in a "i take all my platonic relationships way more seriously than most people do and this has led to so much heartache oh god" way

#queerplatonic #aro #ace #aroace #aspec #me out there treating every friend like a ride or die but to them i really was just some guy they talked to at school #learning how casual most people expected friendship to be was so. yeah. #it's ok it's fine i am building the life and relationships i want #if there's another word for the latter experience someone do tell me because queerplatonic is the best i have to describe it