#in a way nothing else had ever been

[zhoras-bitch]

Riz Gukgak will forever be my special little guy, because in a world where aspec characters are borderline non-existent, he was not just a cool character who happened to be aroace. He also had an incredibly compelling character arc unique to him as an aspec, and the character arc was so iconic it birthed one of the most memed moments in the entire series.

#tbc im not saying every aspec character's arc should be focused on their aspec identity #in fact it would get very annoying very fast #however aspec experience is so rarely addressed in anything ever #watching riz was so incredibly validating to me #in a way nothing else had ever been #at that time #dimension 20 #fantasy high #riz gukgak #bitch speaks

[theshadowrealmitself]

I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them

People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human

“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”

“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”

“Yeah!!”

“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”

“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“

“How illogical”

“That’s what I’m saying!!!”

#star trek #Vulcans #Humans #not based on a specific thing #but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’ #who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field? #like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq #and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first #would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate #and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for #and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance #the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times #they were just dicks #and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it. #it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible #you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier #but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks. #that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on #and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post #but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks #and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be #replaced #hated that couple #if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us #(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀) #liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people #that no one else wanted to be friends with #I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone #this got long sorry 😭

[transmascissues]

today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.

i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.

i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.

i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.

and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.

#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to #as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about #i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i’ll never stop being angry for her #for all three of them but especially her #i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons #the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day #i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does #it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too #most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations #they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies #i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia

[grandcovenant]

who's pulling the strings of the puppet king?

#lies of p #lies of p romeo #king of puppets #lies of p geppetto #fanart #digital art #hi hello do you think romeo was fully conscious when geppetto enacted law zero (?through him?). #i think about these two a lot... i don't tend to jump straight to the 'deal with the devil' part because there's something about-- #--two people with nothing in common but the empty space between them. world's worst grief bonding situation!!! #and there's something a lot more compelling about that to me. and that's not even mentioning the grand covenant in the room-- #merits its own post or something else. (because i think about it more than anything ever.) #tl;dr i would kill carlo myself if i got to witness them having the most painfully unpleasant conversation ever had by two people. #anyway i should comment on art process too huh. #the gist of it is if no one got me i know red and black got me. #it's my Old Reliable. i've been nearly gnawing my hands off from. not managing to get anything done in a way i liked so i went back. #i feel better now.... :-) #anyway. worst in-laws ever <3

[vvienne]

I literally woke up in the middle of the night like God will dark rise is so fucking screwed. The line that’s like. “Everyone wanted to kill the Dark King.” What’s the part where he looks at Violet helplessly, haunted, almost pleading for mercy? But of course he reveals nothing of substance to anyone. Elizabeth is too young to understand but the reader knows what “Her relationship with that boy was…unnatural” can mean. Tying him to bedposts? Failing to strangle him? What else? Never not even once seeing beyond a mythological identity Will himself didn’t know he had? What did he think was the reason? That he was just intrinsically hateful? Of course he says nothing. Of course Violet can’t trust him- he’s given her nothing as painfully real as what she’s given him. So he gives her the sword hoping at least he can die at the hands of someone he loved, but even that doesn’t work out - she gives the sword to a Visander still furious at SARCEAN. The pattern continues; no one looks at Will, who vomits when he realizes what’s happened to James, Will who is much of a liar and killer and sneak as Elizabeth accuses but nonetheless wants to be different. Even when he doesn’t remember his own past. There’s no way out for him that doesn’t hurt. Hope this obsession passes soon given the one and a half years of waiting required for book 3

#dark rise series #dark heir #rarely does a cliffhanger pain me so much #bc rarely am I ever THAT invested in a plot I am sad to say #nona the ninth was so cathartic in of itself I’m content marinating before alecto #BUT PACAT ONLY EVER GIVES EMOTIONAL CRUMBS #have any of these bitches ever known peace fr #maybe this is what reading princes gambit and not immediately having the follow up might’ve been like #honestly it’s possibly damen and Lauren just generally had less problems tho #more than his relationship even with James. will/Violet is perhaps the genuine source of like. I WISH HED GIVEN HER A REASON. #the narration that describes Violet as Will’s star in the night…….. like fuck fine #will can’t reach any level of genuine intimacy with James bc the mess of fraught noncon dynamics is this massive unspoken horrible thing #wills identity is personal w James in a way it is with no one else but James is so fucking oblivious of undercurrents it comes unbalanced #and will knows it. but (as far as we know) violet isn’t reborn has no history with sarcean the dark king she’s literallt just Some Guy #and that almost makes it worse???????? that they are so loyal to each other even as he’s keeping a massive secret? #they weren’t dated or destined to entangle the way will is w characters like James and Katherine #and I think that makes his rship with Violet possibly the realest and truest experience of trust and love will has ever had #like it’s nothing bro. truly she knows nothing about him other than his lies of omission and her faith in him goodness which may or may not #beiltimately justified. but that was probably as honest and close will ever got to anyone. and him to her.

[sea-buns]

Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?

You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.

You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.

You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—

you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."

Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.

#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time. #critical role #cr spoilers #c3e77 #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #bells hells #just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise #but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh? #edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies #since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne?? #anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top #other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post #i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible. #but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the #other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under. #hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious? #it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will #all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an #overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were #for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne.. #there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior #as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT. #ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL #cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to “force” her into anything the pressure was THERE. #<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post. #im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho. #im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN #be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree

[cream-and-tea]

pallas in book one is definitely at it-cannot-possibly-get-worse-than-this ABSOLUTE rock bottom but god. there is such a specific flavour to their despair in book two that only happens because of the realization they have at the end of lay me down. like. how do you move on after admitting that everything you believed in was a lie. how do you live with what you’ve done (with what has been done to you). is it possible to pull yourself up out of the pit you’ve dug. what do you do if it isn’t. what do you do if it IS. and once you look at the damage how do you stop looking. past the first layer of hurt there’s just more and more hurt and you were used by the one person who was supposed to keep you safe to cause even MORE pain and no matter how deep you go none of it means anything! it never meant anything at all!! motherfucker your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#pallas’s whole arc in the first book is getting to the point where they go ‘maybe i? feel bad about all this?? actually???’ #i cannot overstate enough that it takes an entire book to get them to that point lmao #and then it’s like. newsflash buddy now you’ve gotta DEAL with that #it really is the mental equivalent of getting into a hot bath of after being out in the cold for a whole day #and the interesting thing about pallas in the first book and their status as a villian and like. their eventual ‘oh SHIT’ moment #is that pallas doesn’t need to realize that they’re a bad person doing bad things #pallas is VERY aware that they are a bad person doing bad things #it’s actually more about realizing the harm that’s been done to them? like as a human being?? #bc they very much have the attitude of ‘well of course i’m doing bad things i was born as an inherently evil person there’s nothing else #i’m capable of doing the most i can hope for is that someone points me in the right direction and i’ll be able to do the hard things #that other people cannot (and SHOULD NOT) do’ #so THATS the mindset that needs to be unlearned before they can start moving forward? if that makes sense? #less ‘shit are we the baddies?’ and more ‘shit have i been horrifically abused?’ #but then after that realization all the blood they’ve spilled is still there. and they should never have had to do that. no one should ever #have to do that. but they did and now they’re starting to see the full extent of what that means #and they have to find a way to live with it. #and it’s absolutely DEVASTATING. #wip: ghost story #pallas #i’ve been working on the book two outline. if you couldn’t tell. head in absolute hands rn.

[diamond-vic]

Thinking about how King and The Collector were both named for what they were / thought they were rather than having their ‘own names’ given

King in Sense and Sensitivity saying how King is ‘more of a rank than a name’ . How he, his whole life, must have thought that he’d forgotten his true name when his memories were wiped (which, of course, never really happened).

How, in Echoes of the Past, he muses whether the symbol at the tower was his given name. Him wondering aloud to Luz ‘Is it ok to still call me King? It feels kinda weird when I’m not the king of anything’. Finding comfort in Luz’s words (‘Well, you’ll always be king of my heart. That’s good enough, right?’) and deciding that he’s ok being called King despite the fact he never really was a king of demons. The name finds new meaning for him separate from what he’d always dreamed of his whole life, in a way he’s ok with. It’s his name, despite it all, even when he feels his whole identity and view of the world and himself has been shattered

Meanwhile, there’s The Collector, whose name is also clearly just a title, just a statement of their species. They never get to be distinguished from the other Collectors, just one in this group of unknown number, and yet he so desperately wants to be better than them, and do their philosophy right. He thinks they did it all wrong, and yet they keep following the same basic guidelines as the others. The Collector has known nothing of individuality for however long he’s existed. They don’t realize things could ever be different, or that he could be more, and that there could be a different life for them. He probably never had proper parents or guidance or love. They don’t even have a name. Just a vision of what a Collector is meant to do, and a determination to do it RIGHT

And what does this all mean?? I’m not sure exactly hahah, It’s just something i noticed. Names are a HUGE part of personal identity, and I think these two can serve as sort of opposite parallels. King who has found his true identity through his arc, letting go of his fantasy and embracing who he really is, while the Collector is still clinging to the role and story he was given (and that he made up himself, partially! They edited the Collector book!) and trying to bend things to how they think it should be

#the owl house #toh king #king toh #king clawthorne #the collector toh #the collector #toh the collector #king drives me insane.. going through his whole life being called a ‘title’ and never thinking anything of it #and then accepting it as a name. that demonstrates his bond with luz #and the Collector… this literal child who is so similar and yet so differnt to king #who just like him has no ‘true name’ and just an idea of who he’s meant to be #a dangerous idea that is hurting others #like how king’s fantasy would have hurt others had it ever been a reality #the collector came into being in whatever way and was sorted off with the rest as jusy another in this order of gods #this is super incoherent but if nothing else… king’s changing perception of himself and his name tugs at my heartstrings GAHHH

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[jakeperalta]

I never really got it when people would talk about getting the ick but alas. now I do

#to be clear this is about taylor not about my actual relationship lmao #i feel like if there was ever a thing that would pull me back into fully committed swiftiehood it's a big sad breakup song #but i am just... not feeling it even whilst my entire dash loses their minds #as a song i like it the same way i do essentially all of her songs #but idk i'm not listening to it feeling sad for her #if anything it's all just making me cringe a little. like why is this being tacked onto midnights when that's not what the album is about #i think if it had been released down the line as part of a breakup ep/album i might feel differently #but right now it's like i've become detached from her i'm just not FEELING it anymore #which is sad because being a swiftie has been a big part of my life for years :( #and now it's like ok. she's losing me i guess :( #also! my post saying I've never been less excited getting 900 notes vs now my dash acting like nothing has been off the past few weeks #just makes me feel like ok i suppose everyone else is excited now and i'm still not #talking #taylor swift #ts discourse

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things???? #i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk ! #be nice its so easy ! #tbd

[silenthillbunni]

🍽️😔🎻

#soo blah blah need to vent again abt my health issue situation 💀 #yuh so like im so sick nd tired of whats going on. nd not being able to just eat whatever i feel like whenever #it's emotionall draining tbh. im always thinking abt what i could maybe try nd im always like ohh gotta make sure the portion is small etc #it's annoying me sm bc i can def feel the effects of me not getting the right nd enough nutrients nd vitamins etc etc #i get dizzy nd my vision is hazy sometimes. nd im like forgetful bc the other the when i walked home i kept getting lost nd had to walk back #nd forth several times nd i was like ?!?!? what?! i've lived here for 25yrs nd now i just cannot for the life of me rmbr the way #also i am so weak in my body. like carrying even a small amound or books nd groceries nd walking for 30min makes me exhausted #my legs are actually shaking when i get back home nd every step feels like im walking in cement #plus i just wanna be able to go to the gym nd build muscle. but if i dont get enough protein in me i cant build muscles T-T #what else... yeah also i do miss food bc of comfort. like my coffee + chcolate everyday makes me genuinely happy lmao #but i just want the food situation to be normal bc even w veggies im like oh no that is too gas building that is too hard to digest etc etc #it's mentally gruelling to not know how tf to get all the important nutrients!! i def have several deficiences lmao :(( #im so over it. but theres nothing i can do. i wish i could just not think abt it 24/7 tho #also. im the thinnest i've ever been BUT. i am constantly bloated so i look fkn pregnant. so i cant even enjoy looking the skinnier

[toastsnaffler]

ALSOOO thinking abt this bit in ntn... the obvious revulsion ianthe has for the realisation that palamedes was right + she IS irreversibly part naberius + her immediate abandonment of naberius' body in response.... the whole thing reeks of denial like rest in peace to the sandy foundations she built her performative sense of self on but this wave is inevitable girl!! you can't uneat what you've already digested

#maybe the real unwanted guest was the cavalier we ate along the way #ianthe is soooo fascinating bc everything she says or does hinges on this persona shes cultivated to present to the world #like i dont think we've EVER seen her with her guard down or 'unscripted'. or had any real sense of whats going through her mind #shes never getting out of the labyrinth #but the way she reacts to palamedes' suggestion..... it feels VERY defensive. i bet something in there is shattering #very curious abt where her character will go in alecto.. i imagine she'll revert to propping herself on corona who she sees as perfectly- #predictable/controllable in order to reassert her crumbling identity. would LOVE if corona broke out of the mould ianthe forces her into #i think it would fully break ianthe to realise that not only does she not know herself but her perception of corona is an illusion too #like she does have her own ambitions and desires outside of ianthe!! theyve just never been separated long enough for her to realise them #god can u imagine if corona rejects whatever grand plan ianthe is piecing together for her. everything shes done for nothing #it smells lyctorish bc i cant imagine ianthe wanting to be a lyctor if corona wouldnt be forever at her side. but she wouldnt want- #corona's soul to be 'spoiled' by consuming anyone else and she also wouldnt want corona to become capable of necromancy #bc that would upset their power dynamic.. can u IMAGINE if corona convinced judith to eat her. itd be so over we're talking murder suicide #SOO MANY THOUGHTS i cant wait this long for alecto #.diaries #tlt #the unwanted guest spoilers

[fragmentedblade]

This seems to be a reference to Lorentz transformations? The first formula is apparently a derivation, and seems to be the inverse of the time part of the transformation (there's a space part too), for what I've been able to find.

The second formula is Newton's second law.

#I don't know physics so I've had to read about Lorentz transformations and I'm still unsure because I lack a lot of context #But it seems extremely interesting #It all seems to work so well with everything else Ratio has going on. The needed reference frame works well with his line in his ultimate #It seems the framework are usually cartesian coordinates? I have to check if it's not that in later physics #It all also seems to work in a Hilbert space for what I've read but I wonder if that's always the case #iirc Gauss was quite set on non euclidean geometry working on larger spaces #For what I've understood Newton used Galilean transformations and Einstein did Lorentz #Lorentz though still takes into account Galilean transformations and includes time if I've understood right? #Reading about this has made Poincaré look more interesting than he had ever before to me maybe I should look into it again #But mostly I've been thinking of Riemann. I don't know anything about any of this #but for what little I know of Riemann it crossed my mind several times that some of what I've read tonight pertaining Lorentz #would work nicely with him. Something about pseudo Euclidean spaces too iirc made me think that #I kept thinking of him from time to time so I was surprised I never actually saw him mentioned #Oh that reminds me I ended up finding an essay that proposed unlike atoms matter could be infinitely reduced and its implications #It was an extremely interesting read if nothing else also due to how it waved different fields. But I'm rambling #Veritas Ratio #Traces #I talk too much #Sorry for the tag again but I want to be able to find this in the future #I can't believe going to those group theory classes for fun has been useful in any way in my life #even if to help me understand with a little more ease something I ended up reading due to a gacha game haha #I don't remember much of what I studied back then but it was enough to recognise what was going on at times #and not struggle to understand the very very very basics of some things I read #ANYWAY again on my bullshit but so much of this could work nicely in Penacony and it will be so sad if they do nothing with it #Also I forgot to add that dp/dt is also used in medicine #It's a blood pressure ratio iirc but I haven't looked more into it bevande it seemed clear to me it was Newton's second law #Especially with the F. But I mention this to save the information. Who knows #Perhaps the formula was intended to be taken with that double sense to reference his medical facet #and perhaps it was intended also as a joke if it's really a ratio. I still think it's just Newton but yes I'm writing this down just in case

[faewaren]

Almost no one who follows me is gonna know what this is about so ignore me but. Just. God I hope Marcel is okay. Still hurts.

#still hurts!! still miss them. been like two years. #miss Luke miss Sam miss Luna miss Wit miss Trick etc etc etc #sucks real bad still that after seven years of knowing each other and all the times I went out of my way to care for them #that it was such a swift thing no trying to solve it no working to go forward nothing #just ‘we’ve been communicating badly for the first time in the seven years we’ve known each other and are all in active crisis’ #‘now you’ve stood by someone else’s right to a boundary I don’t think is reasonable and I’m gonna send you a letter that seems #specially designed to tear your heart out using all the things I’ve known about you and I’m never gonna talk to you again’ #‘bye forever’ #but also it’s been two years rafi get over it I guess #I wasn’t the only person they stopped talking to suddenly around then #I dunno if they ever figured out what had changed. I don’t think it’s that all their friends and loved ones secretly sucked. #I hope they’re all okay. #hope they’re doing better. #hope they’re safe.

[atomicsuperrobot]

Rereading again, and it's really interesting to note just how different the early art style is from the later style- and especially from the anime itself. With the manga, you can at least see where things came from; in the anime, it's a fairly radical departure that is only barely recognizable as what it's meant to be, at least in regards to Joker himself, specifically.

The early manga has lots of sharp points and angles, creating a character that, even if he behaves in largely similar ways, still feels almost entirely different from his animated counterpart. No wonder I was so put off by the anime's designs, originally- and that I had gotten the impression that he was older than he actually wound up being, or was type-cast as. Funny how I now largely prefer his anime design and personality, even if it's altogether not that different!

Fun fact, when I first started reading, before I had started watching the anime (and even for a bit after I had started), the voice I had for Joker in my head was the same as Kaito's, from Magic Kaito- which, as far as anime goes, would be from Detective Conan and Magic Kaito 1412, specifically. Even if he seemed older, at least in looks, in my head he very much still read as a bratty teenager, it would seem.

#Kaitou Joker #Magic Kaito #Detective Conan #Mun Post #it's sort of nice to go back from time to time; and notice the differences #in either version he's a funny guy; tho in ways that are both similar and radically different at the same time #I don't recall what sort of voice hachi had in my head; it may well have been the same as canon because it's not too dissonant #with how he looks and acts as a character in the manga #I don't know if the others had any set voices either; because I can't remember if I read about them before or after I decided to watch- #the anime; I was trying to coincide it; but it turns out the timeline of the anime is very different than the manga #it has a hell of a lot more thought put into it for one thing #for a while I had no idea if Roko was original to the anime or if he showed up in the manga or not; he seemed so out of place #p sure he was in the manga first now; tho idk if I'll ever get to read that chapter #if I could I'd love to go back and go over the early chapters; it was the beginning of the scanlation group's work #and it's got that early work wonk all over it- plus some of the double pages are separate for some reason #and it disrupts the flow; if nothing else I'd want to fix that #I've also heard something about missing pages from a twitter account; dunno what that's about necessarily tho #especially since I'm pretty sure one of the double pages was fixed after mangadex allowed chapter editing #maybe some early chapters got skipped over? or they're missing in the file downloads; no idea about those #bc I prefer to read online... #also I'd say I'm sorry about bombing two semi-unrelated tags with this nonsense; but I'm really not #it at least has SOME relevance to these topics! even outside of what I mentioned actually #bc kaito and joker are both phantom thieves; and even more interestingly; apparently there was some kind of merch crossover event- #between the kaijo anime and detective conan; that I really wish I knew the details about beyond that it Existed