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textk4kira · 3 months

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Cisgender, straight aces have cisheteronormative identities. And can get affirmations for their ace identities from the ace community.

They can get support for conversion therapy (what is ace conversion therapy? Anti-gay conversion therapy is targeted at making gay people associate gay attraction with trauma and pain? what do you think anti-ace conversion therapy is?) from aces. What resources do //LGBT// groups have for htis?

What LGBT resources do they need for religious trauma they cannot get from the ace community? From other religious trauma groups? Do religious trauma groups exclude cisgender, straight ace?

What specific LGBT resources for csigender, straight men who do not want to date need? Be SPECIFIC. What resources do they need from groupsmade to give rights to Lesbians, Gay Men, Bisxuals, and Trans People? You haven't listed a single LGBT specific resource uet

Being raped for not experiencing sexual attraction is a feminist issue, not an LGBT one. What LGBT specific resource do they need that they cannot get from feminist groups?

Every point you listed actually happens to cisgender, straight women. Should all LGBT groups acomodate all cishet women?

Hello again anon!

I will address each of the points you have made, with some additional information at the end of this post.

I would also like to point out that ace/arophobia tends to go hand in hand with anti-trans/TERF discourse, so I would like anyone reading to please keep that in mind.

Now to address the points you made:

Asexual/Aromantic people do not have cisheteronormative identities as they do not conform to society's expectations on how people are 'supposed' to behave regarding sexual or romantic relationships. These expectations include but are not limited to: Being in a monogamous, heterosexual/heteroromantic relationship with a fellow cisgender person. This argument is also used against bisexual people who are 'straight-passing' individuals.

Asexual people receive medical interventions including conversion therapy to make them heterosexual. Please look up 'hyposexual sexual desire disorder' as an example of anti-asexual medical maltreatment. Coercing an asexual person into having sex to 'cure' their asexuality is a form of corrective rape AND conversion therapy. The asexual community is a part of the LGBTQIA+ community and this has been the case forever. If an asexual person is seeking comfort or resources from other queers, such as myself, I will do what I can to help them.

I do not know if religious trauma groups explicitly exclude asexual individuals, so I cannot answer this. Pushing asexuals to only interact with other asexuals in regards to their problems, is actually a form of marginalization, which is in fact a form of oppression.

The love and support of the LGBTQIA+ community, as well as community-wide solidarity, is, in fact, a 'resource'. The time that I am spending to respond to your ask, as opposed to uplifting aromantic men is in fact, the 'use of a resource'. Yes, emotional labor is a finite resource that I am currently using to address you.

I will not address this point, for obvious reasons.

To conclude, here is a list of resources specifically for asexual/aromantic individuals (note, this is just a short list, I will try to find more in the future):

AUREA - Resources (aromanticism.org)

Aro 101 and Resources – Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week (arospecweek.org)

Understanding Asexuality | The Trevor Project

About AVEN | The Asexual Visibility and Education Network | asexuality.org

Understanding the Asexual Community - Human Rights Campaign (hrc.org)

Navigating LGBTQ Identities and Religion | The Trevor Project

Culturally Competent Psychotherapy for the Asexual Community | Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy (societyforpsychotherapy.org)

I would also like to mention that I do not interact with radfems, TERFs, or Gender Critical Feminists as stated in my pinned post, if this describes you anon, or any other readers, please move along. I will not address you.

I hope this was helpful!

#anon ask #ask #asexual #asexuality #aromantic #aromanticism #aromantic men #asexual women #acephobia #aphobia #arophobia #ace #aro #terfs dni #transmeds dni #ace discourse

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la-nev · 2 years

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Je poste ceci en temps de Pride pour les rares zigotos qui passent encore par là. (oui j’av’ j’ose pas encore le poster ailleurs celui-ci)

Parce que ofc ça dit en soit rien de ma vie intime (et sexuelle aussi) car attraction et action sont pas toujours main dans la main à 100 %, bla bla bla pleins de facteurs, vous connaissez la chonson !

Mais tous les cas, l’étiquette de performance qu’on te met (et que tu peux te mettre aussi) est tellement lourde à porter, qu’on sent bien que derrière y’a souvent un décalage. Elle l’est même pour les gens zed, hin, mais pour les aces (notamment en questionnement voire en égarement de grosse acephobie intériorisée comme j’ai biiien pu l’être) eh bah c’est double peine dirons nous (et non pas double péné, c’est plutôt le contraire dans l’idée). (je suis hilarante)

Enfin la bise et bon mois des fiertés (la pride radicale de Paname était trop bien en tous k)

#ace #asexual #asexualité #asexuelle #ace stuff #drawing #Draw #digital drawing #art #artwork #artists on tumblr #women artists #asexual women

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sapphos-darlings · 2 years

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I’ve been struggling for a while to figure out if I am just asexual or if I am asexual and a lesbian. I recognize that the “best practice” advice is to just live your life and seek out the opportunities for connection that come to you, but now… I don’t know. With everything that could happen with the courts, I feel like maybe I should just stick to asexuality as a full identity and not try to figure it out any further because it could just cause me more trouble if I do come to the conclusion that I’m a lesbian as well. But I’m also tired of just wondering, and I have been for a while. I don’t expect that you’ll have a definitive answer but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there to someone.

Hello, Anon!

You are very welcome to share your thoughts with us, and through us with our community. I hope writing this out was in itself helpful to you! You are heard.

My two cents is that you are who you are regardless. Try to find comfort and certainity in the fact that you are a whole human being whether or not you call yourself some specific things. You are you even when you yourself don't fully realize all your complexities. You are here, you are real, and you matter, even if you tell no one.

Certainly sitting with the asexual label doesn't hurt. Remember that you have your whole life and that you won't ever have to do anything you don't want to to.

My deepest sympathies to you and all other (I presume) us-american women. It's really tough right now, and this is exactly why we need to stick together. Remember that women have always resisted and women will always continue to do so.

Stay strong.

-Lavender

#reply #anon #wlw #asexual women #asexual

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amy-the-fairy · 2 years

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I wish we talked more about this thing with asexual women where women are already assumed to hate/not care about sex by society just for it to be wrong so female media will be more sexual just for it to be not welcome to sexually repulsed asexual women

It's what I feel about otome game for example. Cant slip in the fantasy of being loved because I have to fear the moment the love interest will want to have sex with me, but in the same time for other women who aren't ace it will be a downer to never be railed

That's complicated :')

Tbh it's one of these things that participate in making me feel detached by what everyone claim to be the woman experience

I know anyway that when it come to dating I better never try it with people I meet IRL and go on ace dating app.

#asexual #asexual women #ace #ace community #asexual community

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shutinthenutouse · 8 days

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#lgbtq+#gay #lesbian #bisexual #trans #queer #trans men #trans women #non binary #pansexual #asexual #pride #pride month #transgender #transfem #nonbinary #trans joy #trans community #trans beauty

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raqualswonderfunblog · 2 months

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greykolla-art · 2 months

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My favourite thing about Alastor is his hoard of gal pals!

He’s just a cool and charming dude that women feel comfortable around…And is also a power hungry eldritch horror.👌👌👌

#grey art #fan art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin rosie #hazbin alastor #aroace #asexual icon!#I’m so tired of oversexualised charming men I’m so happy he’s ace #nothing but love and light for people who enjoy the dark romantic type tough!#the radio demon #men with a lot of women friends is such a green flag #he’s so villain coded tough I love this guy!#Alastor

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hazellush · 3 months

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Always ready you know.!!

#trans woman #tr #trans #trans community #transgender #trans gender #transfem #transgirl #asexual #trans positivity #trans pride #trans women are amazing #trans women are beautiful #trans men #trans gay #trans love #trans lesbian

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love-too · 2 years

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#I'm looking directly at those 7 chinese women buying that big ass house to share #so jealous #aromantic #asexual #aroace #asexuality #love #roba mia #aroace memes

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genderqueerdykes · 17 days

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as someone who has been scarred for life by experiences at gay bars, i need people to understand it's beyond tacky to mock people who want queer spaces beyond queer bars- it's dangerous.

let me explain. i went to 2 of my local queer bars a lot last year, as much as i was able to despite being poor. i witnessed a fist fight that was so bloody that ended up with a transmisogynistic drag queen getting hit in the head with a metal baton. the sight caused me to uncontrollably throw up in the bathroom of the club because of how gruesome it was. they had to close down the club and forard people out the back door because of how out of hand this person got- he was screaming transmisogynstic slurs and phrases at the bouncers were were transfem.

i was also sexually assaulted at these places, i was repeatedly groped by several people who i was not interacting with in the first place who found me attractive and decided physically grabbing me on numerous occasions was the way to get my attention. being femme in a queer bar is dangerous even if the people groping you are gay men.

i am also a recovering addict who dealt with alcohol issues in the past and could be considered a recovering alcoholic. i don't want to be around alcohol. i don't want to smell it. it triggers awful memories and also sometimes makes me consider getting a drink, but i can't have one, because the medications i take will cause a fatal reaction- i don't want to be tempted to drink, because it will kill me.

it's not right to mock someone or call them childish or whatever for not wanting to go to a club. whenever alcohol is involved, people's inhibitions are gone and they will do whatever. this includes fighting. i witnessed several other fights. just because it's a queer bar doesn't mean there won't be fights. and it especialyl doesn't m ean that you won't get groped or assaulted because, like i said, since alcohol is involved and it's a bar, there's a high chance this can and will happen.

queer people are not inherently safe angels to be around by virtue of being queer. there are still transphobes in queer bars. tranny chasers come to these bars. homophobic lesbians show up and lesbophobic gay men show up. drag queens and performers bring their cishet friends and family to support their shows. these are not perfect havens. they are not safe. we should not force other queers to interact with inherently dangerous spaces if these are supposed to be our safe spaces.

also these spaces are not friendly to people with disabilities; wheelchair users have nowhere to go especially when it's very crowded. other mobility aids get kicked and knocked over. neurodivergent people can get overstimulated by the deafening music very quickly. photosensitive people can have seizures due to the strobing lights. people with emetophobia like me run the risk of running into those types of triggers. people who are overstimulated by intoxicated people have no choice but to deal with it. dancing is one of the only activities to do other than drink and not many disabled (or even abled) people can dance for extended periods of time comfortably.

not to mention these spaces are not geared toward aromantic or asexual people at all, either. there is a long list of reasons why bars should not be our primary venues of interaction with one another. they serve a specific purpose- for people who want to cruise- but for the rest of us, it's really crucial that we have spaces that provide meaningful interactions with other queers on other levels of our identities.

some people just want to hang out with other queers in a quiet environment and craft, or shop, or drink coffee, or read books together, or just about any other activity on planet earth, and that's not "lame" or "cringy" or bad in any way- these are extremely normal and necessary parts of human interaction that we all require and crave and it's normal to want to do healthy, domestic things with other queers. we need this in our lives.

please take it seriously when people attempt to create queer spaces that don't involve alcohol and bars. it's necessary for our survival and well being as a community.