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elliesdirtywifebeater · 9 months

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Desperate

pairing: seattle!abby x immune!reader

CW: oral (r!receiving), degrading, cursing, dom!abby, sub!reader, overstimulation, dacryphilia, fingering, prasing, face riding, description of readers injury.

summary: you and abby encountered an ambush of infected during a patrol, and on your way to safety a runner forced you into hand to hand combat. In the heat of the turmoil you were met with a pretty nasty scratch on your abdomen. once you and abby reached a safe space she patched you up, but so much more happened than what you planned.

a/n: this is my first smut story in like 3 years so i apologize if it isnt that good😭

"fuck that was close" abby mumbled out of breath

"no fucking shit, i almost died" you huffed out as abby sat you down on a couch you guys finally found on the far end of the desolated library.

"yeah well you fucking didnt." she replied with an insolent tone that made you scoff.

"dont act like it wasnt partially your fault, if you knew where we were going this wouldnt have happened. youre so lucky i wasnt anyone else." you mumbled the last bit as you gave her a glance through your eyelashes.

Her only response was a slight mean mug.

"dont make me wipe that stupid look off your fucking face anderson."

"whatever y/n. lets just clean you up so we can get back to base."

Abby reached into her bag grabbing rags, alcohol and tape. "dont move. unless you wanna make this harder for the both of us." she stated and followed along with a smart remark "like you do any other time"

Abby kneeled down infront of you lifting your shirt up revealing a 3 inch long slight gash on your lower abdomen, with it still bleeding abby soaked a rag in alcohol and gently placed it on top of your wound.

you let out a hiss and grip abbys arm, she jolted slightly from the unexpected contact.

sunlight slowly made itself known in the library as it shone through the windows, shining down onto abby with beads of sweat dripping down her face.

Her skin had a subtle tan making her freckles look perfect, her single braid lose and messy as a few strands fell in her face.

the way your admiring her features you completely zoned out, not even feeling the pain of the pressure that was being applied to your aching stomach.

her sweaty rosey skin turned you on, her gentle yet heavy touch as she patched you up, being nothing but mear inches away from her fired you up as you feel your core heating up. just looking at her could have you finish right then and there. hurt or not all you wanted in the moment was her all over you.

as you catch yourself slipping your bottom lip between your teeth you snap out of this trance you trapped yourself in.

"fuck." you mumbled, which earned a mild concerned look from abby. "am i being too rough?" she whispered and looked up at you.

shaking your head you lightly grip your thigh digging your nails into yourself to try and fight away the disgusting thoughts you were creating.

it didnt go unnoticed as she grabbed your hand to remove it "tell me the truth y/n whats goin on with you" she tilted her head to the side slightly awaiting your reply

your eyes meet hers and all you can give in response is a longing gaze that lied within you.

abby rested her hands on your upper thigh which made your breath hitch "abby.." you spoke quiet enough for just the both of you to hear.

"aw y/n... am i making you nervous?" she questioned as her grip grew slightly stronger, causing your face to flush into a deep red.

she inched closer, mocking you as a cheap grin grew on her lips that you desired more than life itself. the things she could do to you with her mouth alone drove you absolutely insane.

you tripped over your own words before being able to speak, "n-no of course not."

the feeling she gave you was something you never felt before, you squirmed in the spot you sat in letting a small subtle whimper escape your mouth.

abbys hands began wandering your figure as she questioned you once more "why dont you use your pretty little mouth to tell me what you really want hm?"

your lips parted as you make an attempt to leave your shocked daze "abby.. please.." you say leaning forward.

abby stood up to hover over you, resting her hand on the back of the couch. she used her other to push a few fly aways behind your ear, then slowly brushing her thumb across your bottom lip.

you heart is racing and its obvious by the way your breathing picks up and how you grip the couch on either sides of you.

"youre so pathetic. already a mess and ive barely touched you." she had an alluring tone to her voice that youve never heard before.

your clit a throbbing mess, you slowly reach down your pants and towards your slit.

abby removed your hand, holding both of your wrist behind your head she shook her head softly. "be a good girl for me and tell me how bad you wanna be touched." she spoke with barely any space between our faces.

"please abby please touch me, i wanna feel good." you whimper out and seconds later you feel her lips crash against yours as if shes been craving this just as long as you have.

abby licks your bottom lip, you allow her to deepen the kiss, soft moans fill up the vacant library.

abby freed one of her hands pulling out of the kiss and grabbed your jaw. "such a fucking whore" she grumbled.

you watched her every move as she sat down next to you. "stand up for me" she stated, and you did just as she said. she sat back and examined you, bitting her lip she sat up and gently grabbed your hips "fuck your beautiful."

you rest your hands on abbys shoulders as she brought you closer.

looking down you notice abby undoing your pants as she began to pull them down. a nervous feeling develops in your stomach.

"abby.." you began to speak and abby looked up at you stopping what she was previously doing "do you want me to stop? " she asked.

"be gentle." you stated before abby continued and commented "i cant make any promises"

as abby slid your panties you looked up to hide the embarrassment in your face. you shivered at the touch of her cold fingers graze your entrance.

"youre already so wet for me baby" her thumb drew circles around your swole clit earning soft moans from you.

you grab a handful of abbys hair as her movements grew quicker "fuck anderson" you managed to spew out between moans.

your body tenses and your legs become weaker by the second as your about to finish. abby notices and pulls her hand away from your heat, you moan out but not from pleasure.

you look down at her annoyed, she meets your gaze as she lays down pulling you on top of her. "ride my face." she demanded.

a wave of shock took over your body as you sat there staring down at the blonde "w-what?" you asked.

"dont act dumb, you heard me pretty." she replied with a menacing smirk on her lips.

"but what if-" she cut you off "dont give me any excuses. just do it." abby demanded once more and you obliged.

you move yourself up abbys frame, hovering over her face with your legs wide open you couldnt believe what was going on.

you take a deep breath but it was then cut off as abby grasped your hips bringing you down onto her wanting mouth.

a loud moan left your body as abbys tongue went to town on your already throbbing cunt. trusting her tongue at a mild pace, her nose rubbing against your clit with every movement she made drove you off the edge.

you began rocking your hips in an attempt to match her rhythm. your walls began to tighten as for a second time you were reaching your climax.

the grip your thighs had around abby had grew stronger. reaching forward you rested your hand on the arm of the couch for support.

"a-abby m'gonna.." your words trailed off as an orgasm took over your body. moaning abbys name back to back as your orgasm softened.

abby swallowing every bit of you cause even more stimulation making your back arch "f-fuck thats enough" you whined out, but abby wasnt finished. she was starving, she wanted to taste you until you were in tears.

she slightly lifted you off her lips as she spoke "im not finished pretty, now why dont you wanna be a good little girl for me and take it." she had a darkness to her voice that gave you goosebumps.

without warning she slamed you down back onto her face and resumed the rapid movements she had moments ago.

your eyes slam shut down as an overwhelming feeling took over your body, your legs twitched and your breathing was heavy.

you threw your head back from all the pleasure, barely being able to get a moan out you were about to cum for a second time.

as your climax hit you were mumbling nonsense, abby was still moving swallowing you. she licked you clean, she needed every drop of you.

tapping your legs she signals you to get up and you do just that, she sat up licking her lips and gave you a look as she leaned over.

"you have no ides how long ive been waiting to do that." she whispered and you tilted your head and let a small smile creep up on your face. "yeah?" you replied.

"yeah." she spoke as she pushed hair behind your ear and placed her hand on the side of your face.

your heart was racing as she pulled you into a deep kiss.

guiding you down she hovered over you using her free hand to reach up your shirt and lightly pinch your nipples causing you to whimper in the kiss.

her cold skin against yours gave you a whole new feeling. you both pull away for air as abby spoke, "god you're amazing" she said quietly.

"i feel amazing." you replied.

you both jumped as you heard someone come in, you quickly stood up and threw on your underwear, pants and shoes in a panic. "shitshitshit why now" you mumbled annoyed.

you sat down as you finished, only for you two to be met with an equally annoyed owen. "where the hell have you two been???" he questioned, but didnt get a reply from either of you "yall should have been back 15 minutes ago what the hell" he stated.

you parted your lips to explain but he cut you off "i dont wanna hear your excuses just bring your asses" he said walking back towards the entrance.

you find yourself letting go of a breath you weren't aware you were holding as abby stood up in front of you. "jesus we've had one too many close calls today" she said with a small laugh. rolling your eyes and turning your head away abby grabs your chin forcing you to meet her gaze.

"i want you to come over later." she whispered, scared of owen hearing. you nod and she gives you a deep kiss in which you reciprocate.

abby pulls away and grabs her bag before jogging to the entrance to meet with owen.

you stand there not knowing how to comprehend what the hell just happened. all you know is that it's the best thing that's ever happened to you.

#abby anderson smut #abby anderson #abby tlou #abby x reader #the last of us #the last of us smut #gxg #lemon #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x female reader #tlou2 #Spotify

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oleander-nin · 4 months

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Vampire ROTTMNT Headcanons

A/N, not important: You're probably thinking "Ollie, this is so short and wonky? What gives?" And to that, I say: I didn't know whether to make it old timey, how they became vamps, etc, so I'm going with this version for the normal rise, and a Victorian version for the Yan and I'll just bounce them around sometimes whenever I revisit this trope. I have how I want vampires to act, just not sure how/when I want the rise boys to be vamps. Feel free to ask questions if you need clarification or want a certain thing answered. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

CW: Blood drives, mention of needles, blood, being bitten, animal deaths mentioned, vampires

Words: 2127

Summary: My Basic Vampire ROTTMNT Headcanons

Tag list: @f1oricide

They all got infected/turned after being bit by a vampire bat mutant.

Mikey:

Mikey has the longest canines of his brothers, something that causes him to avoid feeding on living things as much as he can. He tried once and felt awful for the cries it made, so he usually goes out and tries to find newly deceased animals, or steals from a butcher. Will also kill animals if he has to. His longer canines also make it harder for him to hide his ‘condition’, but he’ll usually brush accusations off with comments of genetics or his mutation.

Constantly bites his lips while talking, the long fangs getting in his way. He basically has to relearn how to enunciate his words due to them. He gets easily frustrated by his inability to speak well, and gets irritated easier because he can’t explain why he’s feeling upset.

He’s able to adjust to most of the new abilities fairly easily, as all of them are already incredibly strong and fast due to their mutation. The night vision and sensitivity to light, however, excites him. He’s content to wear sunglasses during the day if they need to go out, and the ability to see better in the dark makes their night missions a lot easier. Plus, he’s now able to stay up all night painting without alerting his brothers to him being up so late.

Absolutely despises that he basically can’t cook anymore. He still makes food for his father, but he can’t even touch half the best ingredients without gagging anymore. Food smells rancid at best, and tastes thick and unsavory no matter how much he tries to fix it.

He’s always trying to snuggle up with you now, his skin constantly cold from the lack of circulation. He likes to latch onto you and bury his face into your stomach, trying to pretend he’s still alive and well.

He likes to bite the deltoid of your shoulder the most because he can hug you close while he does it, but still drape himself over you. You’re the only human blood he usually gets, but he only does it when you offer it first. He doesn’t want to accidentally pressure you into letting him feed off you if you’re not comfortable with it.

Hates to think that he won’t age with you. As he starts to grow faster than normal via the virus, he’s constantly having growing pains and this causes him to come to you for comfort more. He doesn’t like that he’s basically shooting into adulthood, and since none of them have experienced it before, they aren’t sure when it will stop. When it peaks when they seem to be in their mid twenties, Mikey just feels sad. You may not have aged a decade in a year, but your aging never stops. He’s terrified to watch your years pass by without him.

Donnie:

Donnie has the shortest canines, which causes him to look the most ‘normal’ to his original self. He prefers to have human blood, solely taste wise, but usually has SHELLDON get it for him rather than hunting himself because he hates drinking straight from the source. He transfers it into bottles or bags so he can save it and stock up. He avoids drinking from animals mainly because he doesn’t trust them to have parasites or rabies, and while he isn’t happy about drinking from random humans, he can at least hack into their medical records first. Donnie chooses his blood incredibly carefully.

You and April(if she lets him) are the only people he’ll feed on directly. If April lets him, he’ll usually do it like a blood drive and just take a small bit of her blood into a blood bag. For you, it depends. If you’re scared of needles, he’ll just do it the ‘normal’ way, but if not, he’ll let you choose to get it done via blood collection. Where he likes to bite depends on his mood. Sometimes the neck is easiest because you’re just right there and he hasn’t eaten in hours. Sometimes the lower shoulder or the wrist is better because you’re both just trying to get it over with.

He keeps a journal of all the changes that happen to him and his brothers, wanting to keep a list in case they come across someone else it happens to. Their entire mutation/transition is well documented so he doesn’t forget what it was like when it first happened.

It takes him a hot minute to get used to his new heightened senses. His least favorite is his sensitive smell, as anytime he goes near something pungent, he feels physically ill. It takes him a while to go back to the junkyard, the rust and oil making his head spin until he adjusts. He adds stronger noise dampeners to his goggle headset to block out unwanted noise when he needs silence.

He’s constantly complaining of his growing cramps, using you as a pillow more and more now that his hands are stiff from both working and from growing. His mood sours for a long time due to the countless changes he doesn’t want. The only good thing he seems to find from it is that being a vampire will improve his ‘bad boy image’. He completely negates this by curling into you after his legs cramp up and ends up cuddling you for hours.

As soon as he realizes that he will outlive you by a longshot, he tries to find a way to either elongate your life, or shorten his. He refuses to let you leave him. While he’s excited for many years to practice science, the thought of losing you terrifies him, especially since he thought he’d die with you, rather than live on for a millennia afterwards.

Raph:

Is already used to the fangs due to his snaggle tooth. While everyone else is accidentally biting their own lips and tripping over their tongue, he’s able to navigate the new longer teeth fairly easily. He still accidentally bites his tongue a couple of times, but less so than his brothers.

Hates to bite others, and usually feeds on animals. He doesn’t want to be seen as a monster any more than he knows he would already be considered. He avoids feeding for as long as he can, and even tried to continue eating ‘normal’ food for a while, until they all realized it gave them net zero nutrition so they couldn’t survive off it. He eventually gets more used to it and starts eating what he should, but for the first few months he feels incredibly guilty and tries to only eat enough to last a couple hours.

Raph tells you of his new ‘infection’ immediately. He doesn’t want you to figure out accidentally by catching him drinking blood or something.

While he hates biting you, his favorite place to is your shoulder. He likes to have you cuddle into him with your back against his chest so he can just bury his snout into the crook of your neck. The first time he bit you was an accident while he was asleep, and since he wasn’t eating as much as he was supposed to, he bit you while you both were cuddling. He woke up pretty quickly and pulled back, feeling awful about it. His kisses were solely light and soft weeks after that because he was worried he’d accidentally cut you again.

Raph’s more careful around you now, trying to adjust to the nearly doubled strength he now has. He’s clumsy and big, so even when he didn’t have vampire strength, he had to learn to watch out and not play rough with you like he would his brothers. It’s like he has his ninpo powered on all the time now, so it takes him a while to make the adjustment. You gain a few new bruises and countless apologies before he finally gets the hang of it.

His new growth doesn’t help with his clumsiness, especially since he’s shooting up nearly two feet in a year. He’s always sore, so he carries you around like a teddy bear to keep him company. He refuses to think of you growing old without him, refuses to remind himself that as your body starts to wear down, he stays frozen in time.

The one thing he likes about being a vampire is his heightened senses. He always knows where you are, and he doesn’t even have to turn on the light at night to make sure you’re safe. He can see you curled up on the couch or on his bed without disturbing you, and it shortly makes up for the other horrors he goes through in his transformation.

Leo:

Least caring about his new fangs. He thinks they’re cool, constantly teasing others and you by baring his fangs and bringing his hands up in mock claws while hissing. For a while, he goes full into the vampire getup, trying to talk in an accent, saying “bleh bleh bleh” after every sentence, just as much as he can to try and make his new condition unserious. He wants to pretend it’s something fun and not that he’s basically no longer alive

His favorite place to bite is your wrist. He thinks it’s hilarious to bow and grasp your hand as if he’s going to kiss your knuckles, only to flip your arm and sink his teeth into your upper forearm or wrist. Even when he’s not being goofy with it, he still chooses your wrist because he feels he can control it better. If something happens, it’s much easier for you to push him off when he’s holding onto your wrist then biting into your neck. He knows he won’t hurt you, but he’s afraid he might start to drain you, and doesn’t want that to happen.

Leo uses his new powers to show off, creeping up on you in the dark and making jumps he couldn’t make before. He knows he’s stuck like this now and just wants to make the best of it. Sure, he knows it sucks, but goofing around to make his brothers feel better too always makes it a little bit easier.

He tries to ignore the fact he’ll outlive you, passing it off with jokes about him being a trophy husband because he’ll always look young. He’ll hold you close if you ever start to get sad about it, quietly reminding you that you’re not going to die anytime soon, and he’ll be with you for your entire life.

Constantly whines about the growing pains and cramps, using it to bribe you into longer cuddles. He’ll teleport to your side so he doesn’t have to move and just collapse into you. He just wants you near while the aches settle into his bones.

Basic Vampire functions via Draxum mutation:

(sorry it's so jumbled. I hope it all makes sense, ask me if you have questions)

Heightened senses, including eyesight, strength, speed, hearing, and smell. The strengthened eyesight is more sensitive to light, which makes bright lights uncomfortable. They can still be in the sun, just can’t see well due to it which makes being out during the day unappealing to them. Can’t spread being a vampire via a bite(has to be from the original mutant or the string of mutagen). Can only consume blood, although it can be the blood of any organism. Their bite produces a numbing agent(much like a mosquito) so you can’t feel the initial prick or suck. Once the agent wears off, it’s much like the ache of a shot. They must be decapitated to be stopped. Cannot shapeshift nor fly. Common myths(ie: can’t enter a house w/out permission, garlic repulsed, no reflection, etc) don’t apply. They are put off by garlic, but mostly because of its strong, pungent smell, but can’t be stopped by it. They get the same reaction from onions and strong scented flowers. For them, eating normal food is the equivalent of us eating grass. It’ll fill you up, but you can’t digest it or take any nutritional value from it and you’ll probably get sick. The only problem is it both tastes and smells awful. Vampires are immune to any bloodborne diseases. Becoming a vampire starts to change your body into what would pretty much be your best years. Within a year, you would either advance or regress into the physical stature of a fit 25 year old on steroids. If you’re older and your back has started to give out and hunch, you’d regain your height and your muscle mass would be fixed. You’d be stuck as a young adult. Vampires have fast regeneration, and while they can’t regrow lost limbs, a major stab wound can heal in just hours.

Sources:

Used for biological explanations and for reminders of the different bodily changes in vampires

Used for basic history, descriptions, and a characteristics

Blood consumption after death

More history/characteristics

Vampire lore by region

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emeritusemeritus · 5 months

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Vulnera Sanentur [Weasley Twins x Reader]

Part 11

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14

Title: Vulnera Sanentur

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley {established relationship} mentions of Snape x Reader.

Timeline: DH1&2- Initially set during the battle of the seven potters. Canon and certain plot points have been altered for the needs of the story.

Summary: The battle of the seven Potters throws your world into chaos when one of your boyfriend’s is cursed. As Snape’s ex-potions assistant and previous protégée, you recognise the inflicted curse immediately and demand answers from your mentor.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of war and Voldy, descriptions of injury and blood, descriptive smut, p in v sex, shower sex, tension. Outside sex. Semi public sex. None sexual nudity. Crying. Snape has a soft spot for reader. Arguments. Probably some cursing. Mentions of nightmares. Reader is part of the Order of the Phoenix. Mentions of death (Dumbledore). Mentions of Tonks’ pregnancy. On it got a angsty. So much angst I can’t tag it all. Not spellchecked nor beta read, we die like Madeye.

Only a few more chapters left to go now. This one hurt my Severus loving heart🖤

It's cold and dark in your mind but your body feels like it's on fire, trapped in an inferno that won't end. You'd scream if you could but you're trapped, rendered silent and frozen as your insides blaze without reprieve. Your suffering continues though you fight through it, ploughing on even with a pain-clouded mind and blurry vision as the blood continues to pour from your body.

You try and focus your eyes upon your opponent, forcing yourself to look harder and be stronger, using what little power you have left to continue to fight.

Nagini is hissing wildly, her huge, thick body roiling on the floor as if she's under the cruciatus curse, pain consuming her. There's a sound emitting from her that sounds ungodly, a mixture between a hiss and a scream that makes you feel as if your own throat is burning through the awful sound. Her body vibrates, continuing to convulse on the floor and you take a moment to back away, stumbling backwards as you slide across the floor, not realising until that moment that you'd fallen to your knees. The sharp rubble slices at your hands but you don't feel it, your mind screaming at you knowing you needed to get a safe distance away.

You fix your wand upon the multiple, horrifying gashes in Nagini's body, leaking both blood and black liquid which had mixed together to form the most grotesque sight you could fathom. The skin around her wounds was quickly turning black and your consciousness was fading in and out though you fought to pull every ounce of strength from yourself to focus. Taking steadying breaths, you think of Severus, the dear friend you had lost, feeling more than ever that you needed him right now.

"Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur, Vulnera Sanentur."

You drag your wand across her skin, watching at the lines on her body heal but not completely. It draws the black liquid out of her slowly, like pulling an invisible thread out and you watch in relief as the wounds begin to lose their black hue.

You were weak, much weaker than you hoped to be and you knew with little consolation that you might not be able to get out of this, your own blood still dripping onto the floor by your feet. Your eyes were closing on their own accord, exhaustion overcoming you no matter how hard you fought.

You dragged your wand over your own skin now, trying desperately to stop the blood flow, seeing the black venom infecting the deep gashes on your arm. The incantation was weak but you managed to draw the black venom out of your arm, just. The wounds were far from closed but the blood flow had slowed and that was all you could do.

It hadn't worked. Nagini was still a snake, not the woman you'd had seen in your mind; nothing you had done had worked. You forced yourself in your last moments to think of your boyfriends, their infectious laughter and gorgeous smiles. A loop of memories played in your mind, a montage of favourite moments together throughout the years. The first time you met, the first kisses, the last kisses and everything in between. They had each other, you reasoned, feeling a slither of peace at that very fact, knowing that whatever happened to you, they wouldn't be alone.

Your eyes briefly opened again upon hearing a haunting sound, a hissing that only increases with volume and intensity, immediately causing you to enter an internal fight or flight reaction though your body was still paralysed with exhaustion. Your mind takes a few moments to realise exactly what is happening as you register the figures of two people nearby, their outlines becoming clearer with each passing moment as your vision cleared, though you couldn't hold your eyes open for long.

Ron and Hermione.

You were encased around the large, wrapped trunk of Nagini's body, though you felt no pressure on your limbs, no constriction. The snake was wildly hissing at Ron and Hermione who were trying to approach you with horrified eyes, their wands fixed upon the snake with conviction. She was protecting you.

"Ron no! If you miss, you'll hit y/n!" Hermione wailes, tugging on his arm which had his wand aimed at Nagini. He looked furious, more angry than you'd ever seen him, a look in his eyes which showed he was out for revenge. The snake hisses in fury at Ron, sensing his intentions and gives a warning snap of it's head, showing the vicious fangs to warn them away. You can only see the side profile but even from your limited view, the blood covered fangs and healed but visible gashes across her body were a terror inducing sight.

Closing your eyes, you tried to connect to Nagini, finding nothing in the darkness behind your eyes. You're exhausted, both mentally and physically but you push harder, searching deeper and further in your mind for any sign of the snake, but there's nothing, the connection had been broken.

You open your eyes, feeling it easier now as the light no longer hurts your eyes, finding strength in the knowledge that something had changed, something must have worked.

You shift slightly, attempting to think of ways to get out of Nagini's hold and almost instantly she senses your movement. You reach blindly for your wand but feel nothing, preparing yourself for the imminent attack, but nothing comes. Instead, she unfurls herself from around you and with one last vicious hiss in Ron and Hermione's direction, she turns to you, watching you carefully as she peels her body away from yours, shifting to lie between you and your friends. You don't break her gaze, eyeing her carefully with the knowledge that she might attack the second you looked away.

You look into her eyes and see the woman staring back at you in your mind, looking frightened and lost, her eyes drawing you in. You feel compelled to explain, though she may not understand and there's no denying that the truth could cause her to attack, the uncertain nature of the serpentine creature only making you more afraid.

"You know don't you, what needs to be done," you say gently, still looking into her eyes. She continues to look at you and there's a momentary pause that passes where she doesn't respond in anyway, making you feel foolish for trying to communicate with the snake. She suddenly shifts her head and you immediately throw up your hand to stop Ron from moving forward as he prepares to lurch towards you, wand still aimed at the snake threateningly, his grip so tight you can see that his fingers have turned white. Her head slowly nods, though it's minuscule in movement.

There's a brief flash of embarrassment you feel at connecting this way with a creature but you sense that she can understand you completely.

"If there was another way," you begin to say but the rest of the words catch in your throat. Truthfully, you didn't know any other way of how to save her, of how to kill the Horcrux inside her without her perishing. Her head sinks to the floor, near your leg and suddenly she doesn't feel like a threat anymore. You sit there for some time, not knowing how to proceed, feeling like you'd reached an impasse.

All it took was a large bang out in the courtyard for the temporary armistice to be broken. Ron ran to the main doors just around the corner to look at what had caused the crash and he looked horrified as he explained with difficulty that Harry and Voldemort were duelling. It had to be now.

You turned to Nagini and noticed almost instantly how her demeanour had changed, her eyes no longer conveying any of the sadness or understanding, but instead looked cold and hardened. Her body had tensed and her tail had curled into her body tighter, all signs of alarming defensiveness. You understood immediately; the Horcrux within her was sensing her master only metres away. She could sense his danger, the treat to his life, which meant that the Horcrux within her, the slither of Voldemort's soul was also in danger.

Time seemed to slow as you realised too late the danger you were in, your proximity to the seemingly possessed snake putting you in imminent peril, especially without a wand. You ran, scrambling away until you backed up towards the wall, looking for some way of hiding, dragging Hermione with you so that she would be safe. It was like the predator in her had awoken, the last semblance of humanity drained from her mind as her body tenses, her body stiffening as she prepared to attack. You were defenceless and Hermione only had mere seconds to adjust to you throwing her back, as Ron leapt forward to protect her before Nagini lunged.

You watched at the snake flew through the air, her mouth wide open and blood soaked mouth hurtling towards you with an unstoppable force. You force yourself to think of your beloved boyfriends a s of your lost friend, desperately clinging to the love you'd received throughout your life as you waited for the attack.

But no pain came. Your eyes had closed on their own accord and you opened them tentatively to see a billowing cloud of black smoke rising in the air, clearing slowly to show the figure of Neville, bloodied and panting hard, the sword of Gryffindor in his hands. He'd done it, the very last Horcrux was dead.

Ron and Hermione held on to each other for the longest time, the near death experience pulling them closer together. You looked at Neville and leapt to your feet, throwing your arms around him. He stumbled briefly having not anticipated your embrace but held strong, wrapping his spare arm around you as you hugged him in both celebration and appreciation.

Then, you saw the translucent figure of a woman before you . It was the very same woman you'd seen in your mind, through the connection with Nagini. She was beautiful, the contrast of her dark hair and pale skin looked vibrant once again. The spirit's connection was brief, lingering just long enough for her to nod once at you, bowing her hair before she disappeared. You had done it, her spirit had been freed. The spell, your blood, mixed with hers and the venom really had worked.

You turned to Hermione and Ron, pulling away from Neville and found them to be staring at the exact spot where she hovered only moments ago, clearly having seen exactly what you had.

"Harry."

That one word prompted you all to run around the corridor and out into the courtyard, reminded that Harry was duelling the dark Lord with no assistance. You expected to see a myriad of lights and colour, the two powerful figures mid combat as each opponent fought for what they thought was right. Instead, you found Harry alone, stood in the crumbled courtyard clutching both his wand and the elder wand, staring down at the mythical hallow in amazement. He'd done it. He'd won. You'd all won.

Ron and Hermione ran towards him, embracing with triumphant glory, each of them pleased to be alive after facing their opponent head on. Neville fist bumped the air in celebration and limped quickly off back towards the main building, no doubt alerting the others that Voldemort had been defeated.

You stood alone, feeling suddenly overcome with emotions that you hadn't anticipated, conflicted to your very core. You felt a massive surge of relief of course, wanting nothing more than to celebrate alongside the trio and everyone else. But you felt sad and a little lost. You felt for everyone that had lost their lives in the battle, the damage that had been caused, for little teddy who had lost both of his loving parents in a single night and for Severus, who had died in your arms, a spoil of war.

But then you remembered the tear. The memory he had given you in his last moments. You looked upon the trio once more, seeing them rightfully still embracing and celebrating their win and with one last glance, you slipped back inside the castle and walked straight towards the headmasters office before anyone could stop you. You couldn't wait to get back to Fred and George, to be wrapped in their arms and back with everyone you loved, no longer having to feel fear or doom but this had to be done first, you needed answers and closure from the only person that could give you that.

Approaching the gargoyle staircase, you thought of that night so long ago when you'd slipped in to the castle and confronted Severus about George's injury. You thought of your anger, your resentment and your confusion that your friend and mentor could have done this to the man you loved, particularly as you approached the main doors, remembering how you had barged in the last time.

The office was largely undamaged, with only a few books and glass cases smashed on the floor from the attack. The pensieve pulled out automatically s you stepped further into the room, crossing the threshold with a nervous trepidation that made you pause, pulling the vial out of your pocket and holding it out with shaky hands.

You poured in the tear and watched as it swirled down, a bright white cloud of billowing smoke within the water, drawing you in. You took a deep breath and submerged your face into the tepid water, watching as the cloud parted and dispersed, forming into figures that you recognised immediately. Severus and Dumbledore. They were in the very office your body was suspended in, Dumbledore sat at his desk with Severus stood before him, attempting to walk out.

"Don't ignore me, Severus," Dumbledore says, causing the potions master to pause in the doorway. "We both know Lord Voldemort has ordered the Malfoy boy to murder me. But should he fail, one should presume the dark Lord will turn to you."

Severus stands resolute, looking upon Dumbledore with a blank expression. "You must be the one to kill me, Severus. It's the only way. Only then will the dark Lord trust you completely."

You watch as Snape's face drops subtly, his eyes expressing a hesitancy and pain that is almost palpable. The vision flickers and you see Snape shushing Harry in what you know to be the astronomy tower before the image of Dumbledore's falling body briefly flickers across your vision, the killing curse uttered by Snape ringing in your ears. The vision then flickers back to their meeting in the office, Dumbledore's weak and tired eyes imploring Severus.

"There will come a time when Harry Potter must be told something. But you must wait until Voldemort is at his most vulnerable."

"Must be told what?" Severus' deep baritone voice calls out, a frustration and element of concern in his tone.

The vision suddenly changes again and you watch as Severus enters the broken house you'd recognised from your trip to Godric's Hollow on Christmas Eve. You watched as he walked across the debris covered landing and caught sight of Lily dead on the floor, the infant Harry wailing in his cot only yards away.

"On the night Lord Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow to kill Harry, and Lily Potter cast herself between them, the curse rebounded."

You can feel the affection he felt for Lily with the sound of her name, and then the devastation and pain at discovering her body on the floor in the nursery. It's gut wrenching and crippling to feel everything he felt and you now understood that he had loved her, he had loved Lily Potter.

"When that happened, a part of Voldemort's soul latched itself onto the only living thing it could find, Harry himself." Dumbledore has begun walking down the platform steps in his office, his legs weak and his frame looking frailer than ever as you see his blackened hand, the curse from a Horcrux.

"There's a reason Harry can speak with snakes. There's a reason he can look into Lord Voldemort's mind. A part of Voldemort lives inside him."

"So when the time comes," Severus says, squinting at Albus who has reared closer to him now, the tension in the room growing increasingly denser and thick. "The boy must die?"

"Yes."

"You've kept him alive so that he can die at the proper moment," Severus accuses, his tone suddenly much harsher, "you've been raising him like a pig for slaughter."

"Don't tell me now you've grown to care for the boy?"

Then you see him look out of the window, the darkness in the sky only further proof that this was conversation had late at night, in complete secrecy. You watch as Severus casts the patronus charm and a familiar glowing doe whips around the room before exiting through the glass, the illuminated spot fading as it disappears further into the sky.

"And y/n, you have grown to care for her too?" Albus asks. You watch as Severus becomes instantly more defensive, his eyes squinting and mouth opening before closing rather harshly, his chest puffing.

"That is none of your concern," he answers in a deadpan way, his eyes averted to a spot on the wall where the portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black hangs.

"But Severus it is, do you not see that she is involved?"

Snape's head whips round quicker than a flash until he's staring back into Albus' eyes with a fierce glare, though beneath the stare is concern and worry.

Flashes of yourself appear in Snape's memory, a strange thing to have seen memories you yourself had but from the other perspective. You see yourself in your sixth year, singled out in his vision as he watches you work, creating a batch of what you remember to be Sleeping Draught in class. The next memory shows the following week, your meeting in his office, seeing you smile and laugh as his deep chuckle fills your ears. You see as different memories merge together of you working together, annotating his books and transcribing his notes, the visions of you shifting to memories you had never known, of Severus watching you and glancing at you when you weren't paying attention. You can feel a warmth again to these memories, feeling the affection he felt for you, as if you were able to experience it exactly how he had, much like the memories of Lily.

"You said that you would protect her! You said by making her my apprentice it would shield her from his notice!"

"The dark Lord may be unaware of her prowess but I fear her connection to the Weasley's will have attracted the attention of her peers." There's a flash of you, Fred and George sat in the great hall from Snape's perspective at the top table, he sees you laughing and resting your head on Fred's shoulder, though the memory is brief.

"There's little I can do, Severus. They will need her," Albus says with conviction.

The memory shifts again before your eyes and you see Severus sat alone in his office, his corporeal patronus dancing wildly around the room as he binds together pieces of what you recognise to be the Lebetum, the misted glass opened as he summons the doe inside. He thinks of you, your laughter playing like a melody in your own ears and there's a brief moment where you can smell the scent of your hair as you watch the words 'Expecto Dominum Meum' appear across the black device just as you had experienced many times before.

There's a brief memory that flashes and you watch as Severus pulls a book from his bookshelf in what you assume to be his home, followed by him using the book as a glossary as he translates his words whilst writing. The next memory cuts in of you receiving the book from him, his deep voice speaking over the memory that you will need this to translate and transcribe his newest paper, handing you the book of Latin phrases and texts.

"You love her," Albus' voice cuts through and you watch as Dumbledore and Snape are stood on a cliff top somewhere, the exchange between the pair is rife with tension.

"Yes," he says, his deep voice speaking matter of factly.

"You've protected her all you can," Albus says, perhaps slightly gentler now.

"It's not enough," he says, his black sleeved arms wrapping around himself, turning to look out into the distance. You know he's thinking about you, and of Lily, the two women he felt he'd lost, slipping between their fingertips. "It will never be enough." He reaches into his pocket and thrusts the black device of his own creation that he'd pulled from within the folds of his cloak into the older man's wrinkled hands, who gapes at it for a moment, a frown pulling between his eyebrows.

"Severus, you can't possibly," Albus begins speaking but he's cut off when Snape looks up from the Lebetum with an expression you had so often seen, the fixed, harsh stare that told whomever he was speaking to that he would answer no questions nor explain further, his word absolute.

"Until my heart stops beating. With hope, even after."

The memory fades and the smoke like memory disappears into the water until it's no longer visible. You pull out of the water and sink to your knees, sitting on the bottom stone step of the desk platform, gathering your thoughts.

You sobbed uncontrollably, chest and shoulders heaving with the effort as you let every bit of pain consume you, every emotion you'd tried to hold back from the moment you left Bill's wedding and everyone behind in your hunt for the Horcruxes, realising that you had been played like a pawn in a game of wizards chess. You cried for your lost friend, knowing now that he loved you. You cried for everything that could have been, for how he'd protected you the whole way through without knowing, for the pain you felt at being so close but so far away from Fred and George, for the months spent pining for them, for the horrors you'd seen and what you'd been through.

You gasped for breath between your sobs, clutching your arms around yourself as you rocked gently, feeling entirely consumed by pain. You should feel victorious and triumphant, celebrating with everyone else in the castle but you couldn't face it, not when you felt so far away from yourself.

Your thoughts were consumed with Severus and what you'd seen in his memories and you wondered if you'd loved him too. You loved Fred and George, that was evident to everyone around you and to yourself but you'd never considered the piece of your heart that had remained with Severus, realising much too late that you had loved him too. Maybe not in the same way that you did the twins but it was undeniable that there was something there much stronger than friendship alone.

Your sobs had subsided eventually and you sat on the cold stone with a vacant expression, gaze fixed upon an uninteresting spot on the floor. You felt drained in every sense of the word; your mind was slowly going blank, unable to string two solid thoughts together as the mental and emotional strain took its toll on you. Your body felt weak and broken, pain and soreness now evident in your injured body, feeling the full effects of your shoulder injury and the cuts on your arm. You look down at the deep gashes on your arm and begin to slowly peel your jacket away, cringing and wincing as the dried blood around the cuts rips away having connected your jacket to the broken skin.

You cast a healing spell on the cuts but it's weak, knowing that you couldn't perform the correct incantation as much as you wanted to, your body too exhausted and drained. You pondered, just for a moment, the irony of the cuts on your arm. The spell created by your mentor intended to inflict pain for those he hated, but instead inflicted upon the woman he loved to free her from her torment.

You sat for a while thinking of the memories he'd shown you, realising now that all his words had made sense. He'd asked you to forgive him, telling you that one day you'd understand. He'd protected you when you needed it most, provided you with his own guardian in the form of a patronus and saved your life multiple times even from afar. He'd given you all the clues, the biggest of all being the book of Latin phrases, somehow knowing that it would be the key to surviving, putting his faith in your ability to decode it. He'd loved you. He was never a true destheater but had been the bravest man alive to act as a spy for the order, for the sake of everyone who seemingly hated him.

One thing had always bothered you, once singular piece of knowledge that had plagued you since the moment you'd been bequeathed with the Lebetum.

You stood slowly, throwing your jacket back over you to cover the scars and the wounds that littered your body and dusted yourself off, though it was a pointless effort as your clothes and skin were still stained with Severus' blood. You stepped towards the littering of books on the bookcase and tried to find the off-white leather book amongst the rows of text, hoping it was there. It wasn't. It was, however, laid on the desk, already open.

You searched through the glossary of words, alphabetically listed as you turned to the section you needed.

Lebetem, or Lebetum (noun) translates to Cauldron. A large metal pot used for brewing potions over an open fire. Can also refer to a situation characterised by strong emotions.

You felt gobsmacked by the revelation, realising that it was most likely a joke played by Severus, a little twist of humour he'd integrated in the the situation.

You then thought of the translation Mr Ollivander had given you of the text on the device, Expecto Dominum Meum, and his little chuckle when you explained that it was a Lebetum, realising now that it all made sense. He’d recognised you as Snape’s apprentice and had only chuckled when he pieced it all together.

Lebetum, Cauldron, a necessity of brewing potions.

Expecto Dominum Meum, I await my master.

I await my potions master.

You laughed out loud; an honest and very real laugh that you felt hadn't happened in such a long time. You'd been blind to it all this time, his intricacies never failing to amuse and astound you. You felt an immense sense of gratitude erupt from you and though you were naturally devastated that he was no longer here, nor were you able to thank him for everything he'd done, the Lebetum had done the trick to make you feel a little better, giving you humour in a time of sheer upset.

You wanted a shower desperately, a hot cup of tea and the comfort of your loved ones around you. You looked down at the book of Latin translations and smiled, touching your hand to the old pages before you walked away, feeling calmed.

You closed the doors to the office as you exited, casting one last glance at the intricacy of the wood and walked down the staircase, back towards the great hall where you hoped everyone was still gathered.

Bill spotted you first and leapt up from his seat to close the distance between you, pulling you into his chest. The unlikely friendship you'd forged during your time at shell cottage was entirely unexpected but welcome, his ability to make you feel at ease and protected was unparalleled, his role of big brother extending to you.

"Stop scaring me like that," he mutters and you can hear the slight smirk in his voice, making you chuckle. "Told you you were tough, wouldn't find me dead near a snake." You chuckle again and start to snark that Werewolves were fine but not snakes, but you're stopped as you see two near identical and very welcome faces waiting anxiously behind Bill. You pull apart, giving him one last smile before he slips back to sit beside Fleur at the table, allowing you to properly reunite with his brothers.

There's a singular beat that passes where you stand still, looking at them with a trepidation to your gaze. You felt guilty for leaving them alone, to fight your own battles without considering theirs. They both looked disheveled and dirty, eyes dark and tired and for the first time that night you no longer thought of your own exhaustion or torment.

Fred moves first and pulls you in for the tightest embrace he'd ever given, his hand holding your waist close to his body and his left hand cradling your head. He kisses you without abandon, uncaring and unashamed of anyone nearby as your emotion pours into the kiss, a thousand apologies and comforting words said silently between you. A tear falls from your left eye, overwhelmed by your official reconnection but he doesn't miss it, moving his thumb to swipe it away as he pulls his lips away from yours reluctantly, savouring the feel of your lips against his.

"I love you so much," he says, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead as he begins to rock you gently side to side. "You're never leaving again, you hear me? I can't ever be apart from you again." Another tear slips at his words and all you can do is nod in agreement, blindsided by the emotion and conviction of his words.

"Never again," you reply, reaching out to grab the material of his jacket, feeling as if he'd slip away if you let go. He senses this and presses one last kiss to your lips before pulling away and stepping aside, allowing George to scoop you up.

Fred and George were different in many ways but it was never more obvious to you than when you were in their arms. George always seemed taller somehow, your head not reaching as far up onto his shoulder as it did with Fred but it was equally as comforting to be pressed into the centre of his chest. His arms caged you and held you tightly, shoulders and breasts smushed against the hard plains of his body but you didn't care.

"Tell me it's over, Angel, please don't leave again."

His voice sounds broken and like a little boys, lost and afraid, a sound that breaks your heart. You pull away firmly, looking up into his gorgeous face.

"I'm staying right here, forever," you say, reaching up to touch his cheek as you lean up, making it clear that you want a kiss. He obliges immediately and kisses you with a passion and intensity you hadn't quite anticipated. His hand find yours and he holds on to you tightly, one large hand grabbed around your back as your right hand stays on his face.

Once the kiss ends, Fred steps back to join you both as both twins grab for you, your small frame between their much larger once's making you feel safe and secure. Eventually you are pulled away by Molly who can't wait any longer and you're smothered by her fussing until Arthur pulls her away with a knowing smile before he embraces you. Each person embraces you as you're passed around the group, feeling every ounce of love they give.

There's a moment where you and Harry look at each other before you embrace, a wordless question about your shared connections to darkness. You shake your head with a smile, telling him that your connection had been severed and he nods his head with the same mirrored look, both of you smiling widely as you realise that it was now just you, no longer plagued by another's emotions or memories. You throw your arms around his neck, both laughing as you finally feel the celebratory mood everyone else felt, now that you were back with the people you loved.

Ginny brought you a hot cup of tea from one of the little reserves that had been set up and you thanked her kindly, taking a seat in between Fred and George, in your rightful place. Instantly, their arms lock you into place with George's arm extending around your back and Fred's large hand covering your thigh, keeping you anchored to them. Everyone was laughing and joking, telling their own stories and as you looked around at your loved ones, though missing one important person; you felt happy.

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cubitodragon-moved · 5 months

Text

Forever actively hiding his shadow infection worries and upsets me - in that good ‘how dare you rp your character so well’ way CC!Forever brings to the table, of course. (Some of it is also due to meta changes and the Purgatory event being that weird “is it/isn’t it RP relevant?” blurred line, but either way…)

A thing we all need to appreciate is that none of the other Islanders are aware this is even a thing. As far as anyone is concerned, seeing WB012 at the Green reshuffle meeting was the first time the majority had seen it at all. And questions about that went unanswered when they asked the Worker about it, likely thanks to the Watcher’s influence. (They also never saw them leave, and never saw them die thanks to being booted for maintenance. Goodnight sweet WB012, we hardly knew ye.)

But wait, Farli, didn’t people who attended the Guy Fawkes night mini-event see the state Forever was in? Yes, some of them did! And of those present, only Bad actively noticed and openly queried about his extensive injuries, which Forever tried to brush off and defer to explaining ‘later’. The rest simply assumed he was a wreck after being in the Nether for a month —Which, you know. Valid— before all getting distracted by blowing up buildings and setting things on fire.

One can’t fault our beloved cubitos for being easily distracted by things like that.

By the end of the mini-event, Forever had pulled an Irish Goodbye and wandered off to check out Cucuruchito, wander the server, and go back to his mega base. Others logging in didn’t see the state he was in, as he wasn’t there.

Forever had planned to speak with both Philza and Bad privately about what happened - except his PC died in RL. One way I choose to view that unlucky circumstance is thus: his body just forces him to pass out from sheer stress and exhaustion. And that promised ‘Later’ never comes.

The next time anyone sees Forever, he’s in a new skin, burns and scars and infection covered up, and Forever looking tired but somewhat better (for a given value of better). It’d be easy to think “oh the black stuff probably just washed off”, never mind that most people there at Spawn had no idea there was any black gunk on him in the first place.

And then cinematics and server shuffling and the Purgatory event happen. Teams happen. An awful week of awfulness divides friends and made thinking about what happened before Purgatory irrelevant in the face of needing to survive.

Forever is a man who doesn’t share his hurts openly, emotionally or otherwise, bottles things up to an alarming degree until he explodes. He puts others far far far ahead of his own well-being. He’s the sort who wants people to notice and care, but also doesn’t want anyone worrying about him. He has the unreasonable expectation as a people pleaser that he needs to do this by himself. What other people don’t know won’t hurt them, only him.

It’s not like anyone else can do anything about it. So why worry them needlessly, when saving the eggs is the priority?

He’s still covered up. Still hiding the shadow infection. And while he’s now on a team that has a few more people he’s relaxed around and has some trust in, we also have little under one week left of being stuck in Purgatory. For all there are long moments of alone time while preparing for the day, there’s few opportunities for privacy right now, where confiding in someone might happen.

When Forever next gets to rest and check himself over, will the infection have spread? Will someone else see and put 2+2 together - and potentially get a 5? Is the infection why he’ll be able to use the Judas book at all when that time comes?

I don’t know. I’m worried. Especially if the infection could potentially be infectious to others….We’ll have to wait and see.

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory #Qsmp forever #qsmp speculation #someone please hug this cubito #qsmp character analysis

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call-sign-shark · 11 months

Text

To Bark and Bite || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary: Arthur has to face the awful truth: there is another man in your bed tonight and there's nothing he can do about it.

Word Count: 2.6k

TW: mention of animal abuse

Notes: This work is a part of Heaven in Your Eyes' universe, but you can obviously read it as a stand-alone. Reader has chosen their new companion, following this polls' results.

Masterlist here if you want more.

The fresh air of the night jumped at Arthur’s face when he exited the bar, the frozen fangs of the wind biting his skin so suddenly he winced. Wrapping up himself a bit more in his long black coat, he let out a grumpy groan and started to walk through the sleepy streets. It has been a few months since you have both left Birmingham’s filth and stink to move into a cozy house at the end of a vast forest. The more day passed, the more he was satisfied with such a decision. Sometimes, he would spend hours outside listening to the murmur of the trees’ thick foliage shaken by the wind and the soft melody of the stream nearby while you were gardening. But despite this new setting and your peaceful life, you still remained traumatized by your stay in Birmingham’s jail for women. The sensation of the hanging rope tightening around your neck had stirred painful memories you had spent years locking up in the deepest part of your brain. Since then, you would often wake up at night, screaming and pulling your hair because your dreams were plagued by the grim sight of your father’s limp body dancing at the end of a rope. When John asked both of you to go for a drink, you politely refused and decided to rest at home after two sleepless nights. At first, Arthur wanted to decline and take care of you, but you insisted he spent time with his brother. Especially because you did not see him very often since you moved here. He accepted and had fun, but his thoughts never left you during the whole evening.

Arthur, fighting against the cold, blew in his hands before rubbing them in the hope of warming his skin. His steps hastened, motivated by the warm fire and the cuddling time in bed that was awaiting him. He was about to turn to his left when a loud howling sound tore the silence of the night. Slightly jumping, he turned around and looked in the direction from which the sorrowful scream came. Right after the thrilling shriek followed an odd sound of chains rattling against the concrete and muffled whines. Arthur stood there, conflicted. A part of him just wanted to go home while the other, tinted with a childish curiosity that never left him, wanted to check what was hidden in this dark alley. It did not take more than a few seconds for him to give in to his curiosity and walked toward the source of the noise. He had barely stepped in when he froze, welcomed by two threatening eyes glistening in the twilight. When the creature noticed Arthur’s presence, growls echoed in the dark alongside the ringing of chains dragged on the ground.

“Bloody hell!” Arthur exclaimed, taking a few steps back as the mighty silhouette of a dark dog came out of the shadow, chops curled and teeth bared, “Back off, bastard,” He growled back at the massive brute, showing his teeth as if it was enough to shoo it away.

But despite the dog’s firm will of attacking the tall gangster, it suddenly collapsed on the cold pavement with a painful whimper. Realizing how weak the beast was, Arthur’s muscles relaxed. Now that his piercing blue eyes were adapting to the darkness, he could look at the dog more carefully. The latter started to lick its flank, where a gruesome and infected gash was exposing its swollen flesh. It was not mad, it was wounded. Moreover, the poor creature was so emaciated its ribs were poking under its skin, “Yer in a really bad shape, aren’t ye tough boy? Would you let me check?” The gravel in his voice caught the dog’s attention again, who let out another growl even though it did it with less fury this time for it was far too exhausted, “Absolutely no, alright,” Arthur rubbed his mustache, lost in his thoughts for a few seconds, before exhaling deeply through his nostrils. The dog needed help, and he knew exactly where to find it.

“That’s okay buddy. I’ll take ye with me and we’ll get you all fixed, eh.”

“Argh! Come on!” He barked, desperately trying to control the beast by holding its chain firmly and doing his best to avoid getting bitten all along the way. Usually, Arthur as well as the rest of his family had a gift with animals, let alone Thomas who knew how to charm dogs. However, no Romani tricks could make this one obey, “No, no, stop that! How many fookin’ times should I tell ye eh?!”, The black dog, completely panicked, had tried to jump at Arthur several times, which resulted in muddy paw prints all over his new suit. Not content with ruining his clothes, it also pulled so hard on the makeshift leash that Arthur had tripped at least tenth times on his way home. Along with the dog barks, a collection of flourishing insults echoed in the night, “Aaah yes, good ol’ Arthur thinking it was a good idea to bring a damn stupid hundred pounds monster home, eh. Serves me right for trying to be nice.” He cursed, opening the door of his house while still trying to overpower the dog.

The brute barked and growled in reply. Arthur stopped in the corridor and looked at the dog, bewildered.

“What the hell? Yer talking back? I can’t bloody believe it. How about I shoot you right in ye fucking face, eh?!” Arthur was so busy yelling at the beast he did not notice you at first. You stood there, arms crossed on your chest and an amused smirk plastered on your juicy lips, wondering why your fiance was arguing with a dog in the midst of the corridor.

“Who is he you want to ‘shoot right in his fookin face?’” You finally said, mimicking his gruff voice and accent to tease him, “Care to explain?” You raised a brow, halfway between amusement and surprise. Let’s say that the evening was taking an unexpected turn. A turn that weighed around one hundred pounds and who took the shape of a massive Cane Corso. When he heard the enchanting tone of your voice, Arthur raised his gaze to you and strengthened his grip around the chain he was holding for the mutt kept pulling and he did not want it to jump on your frail body.

“Look — I’ve found it in the streets and noticed it was wounded,” He paused, trying his best to handle the situation, but the fact remains you feared for Arthur’s long and thin arms. At some point you were pretty sure the dog would break them, “But I also thought about your nightmares and how anxious you are when I’m not by your side. So, I thought having a guard dog to watch over me angel when I’m not home could be a good idea eh — FOOK!” This time, Arthur stumbled on his own feet after the dog had wrapped the chain around his ankles. He fell on the wooden floor, his body collapsing in a big thud, “YOU BASTARD, I’M GOING TO MURDER YOU, GODDAMN BEAR-LOOKING FURRY THING.”

Now you could not help but burst into laughter at the whole scene, especially when Arthur screamed so loud and spat swear words so fast it sounded more like barks than the dog’s howling themselves, “Oh! Are you okay, chéri?” You inquired, trying hard not to give in to the giggles even though the way Arthur looked at you, confused and mad, cracked you up harder.

“Can I try?” You asked, managing to calm your giggles.

“You can but if I were ya I wouldn't give it a try, love. He’s nothing but an uncontrollable idiot.” He groaned, looking side eyes to the beast.

However, you still came closer to the nervous and unruly animal, both curious and worried for him. As soon as his amber gaze dived into yours, the dog froze as if he had been petrified by a deadly blizzard in a bleak midwinter, “Hey. It’s alright. It’s alright cutie…” You whispered, offering the palm of your hand. The dog’s big and wet snout gently bumped against your skin, after a long seconds of hesitating, and he ended up smelling you. The warm sensation of his breath as it sniffed your scent brought an endeared smile to your face, “There. You’re a good boy. A very good boy.” The dog sat and let out a pained whimper in response, letting you pet it with indescribable tenderness.

Arthur looked at you, half surprised and half fascinated. He knew you were the best when it came to fixing broken creatures in the middle of the night — after all, that was what you did with him the first time you met.

Surprisingly enough, the dog fell limp in your hands and allowed you to manipulate its powerful body as if it had been a rag doll. Despite the awful infection it suffered from, you managed to clean its disgusting gash from pus, filth, and maggots properly before applying a homemade ointment and stitching up everything. Following the laborious treatment, you offered it fresh water, rice, and chicken — all of these it ate with haste, starving and afraid someone would steal its food. But the most tedious part had been when Arthur and you had to bathe the stinky beast.

“I got him! Oh wait — no no I don’t! HELP! I’m slipping in the bathtub!” A hoarse scream echoed.

“Arthur, darling, can you — Oh no really?! He’s chewing on my expensive nightgown! Bad, bad Kaiser!”

You had decided to call him Kaiser, in reference to the German word which meant Emperor, as well as being a kind of pastry.

“Fucking bastard, he almost swallowed my wedding ring! I swear I’ll cut you open if you do so.”

“Okay, now you gotta listen to me big boy alright?” You said with the quietest and most patient tone you could make. The huge dog looked at you with his large pink tongue hanging from his mouth, “You’re all clean and smell nice. Now I’m going to wrap this towel around you alright? No shaking off water okay? I want you to act like a proper gentleman.”

“I don’t think he understands you angel, he’s got a wicked gleam in his eyes eh.” Arthur whispered. He was on his knees, next to you, facing the bathtub with his sleeves rolled up. Following the mess Kaiser did, you were both soaked wet, and exhausted, “he’s up to something.”

The dog barked joyfully.

“You see Arthur! You’re not positive enough. He’s all quiet. All obedi— NO!!” You didn’t finish your sentence for the dog shook off his body, splashing water everywhere in the bathroom, and soaking you more than you already were. While you tried to protect your face, Arthur remained motionless, his face neutral even though he gazed at the animal with a desperate look.

“All quiet, eh. Of course, he is. As quiet as John in a Russian orgy.” He grunted.

"You weren't quiet neither."

"Oh," Arthur gritted his teeth -- he hated to recall this memory, for he was still very much ashamed. Even though he was not happy with Linda he always felt it was no reason to cheat on her, "It was... Different... I'd never do this to you."

“I know, Arthur. At least it made you sober up.” You remained silent one short moment before chuckling, unable to hide your amusement any longer. Letting out a sigh from his lips, Arthur looked at you and your beaming smile infected him. How beautiful you were when you laughed, he thought. Joining in the fun, the tall gangster laughed along, his shoulders jolting as he did.

“By the way, you’re hot when your hair is a mess.” You added. Blood rushed to Arthur’s cheeks, who looked away, all flustered, and mumbled something only the dog seemed to understand. No matter what the gangster had said, Kaiser seemed to agree for it trampled on Arthur and gave him one huge lick all over his face, drooling on his mustache.

“FUUUCKK!” He yelled, falling back under the Cane’s weight.

You laughed even harder to the point your ribs were hurting, joy filling both the bathroom and your soul. The awful memories winced, knowing you’ll soon find enough strength to lock them back in their cage.

After encountering so many struggles in a matter of three hours, peace fell again in the house. After the hellish bath time, Arthur and you decided to have a well-deserved cuddle session in bed. You were half naked, the tall gangster's body above yours and his tongue dancing with yours when the dog started to cry. At first, you both decided to ignore his little whimpers, far too eager to find each other’s warmth and body. But the noise went so bad you ended up gently pushing Arthur away and got up from the bed to open the bedroom door. He obviously complained, pestering under his breath, but he resigned himself and pulled up his boxers. His steel-blue eyes looked dagger at the giant beast when you allowed it to lay on the bed, right between you and him.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing, angel?” Arthur asked, one brow raised.

“He’s scared. And I haven’t been sleeping for two nights. So I’m trying my best to stop him from crying.” You answered, right before gently putting your small hand in the dog’s short fur and stroking him while taking care not to touch his wound, “The poor baby is all confused you know… The gash looks like a knife wound. A human did this to him. Probably a man. That’s why he was scared of you.”

“Yes I get it but how about you cuddle me instead?” His gravelly voice asked, visibly displeased by not keeping you in his arms. As stupid as it seemed, he was getting a bit jealous. But silence was the only thing that responded to him. Even the gargantuan mutt had stopped whining. Arthur lied on his side and leaned on one elbow to lift his upper body and looked at you above the massive creature to see if you were okay. As soon as his piercing eyes fell on you, he was met with the softest sight he could have ever imagined.

You were lying on the bed, facing the dog, and cuddling with it. One of its paws was wrapped around you, and its big snout rested against your little nose. Every protest, every complaint, choked in Arthur’s throat, who found himself captivated by the way you were looking at the dog. You were staring at the beast with your Celeste blue irises shining with sincere love. Despite not being the center of your attention tonight, Arthur could not help but grin — his eyes squinting as his lips stretched. That was at this precise moment he realized another man had just entered your life, and no matter what he would do he had no other choice than to share your love with this troublesome giant.

“Alright, but just for tonight eh. Cause he’s not a little pug or something. That bastard has the size of a fookin small pony.”

“Just for tonight,” You whispered, your nail scratching behind one of the dog’s ears. Its tail wagged in contentment.

Arthur rolled his eyes, reluctantly giving up on the idea to sink into your body tonight. However, he still passed his arm above the dog to rest one large and calloused hand on your hips, unable to sleep well if he was not touching you. He closed his eyes, and even if he was at the edge of the mattress because Kaiser took all the place, Arthur stayed in bed.

“I might allow you here and accept to share me angel’s love, but I ain’t sleeping on the bloody couch, mate.” He warned the dog.

Kaiser looked above his shoulder and opened up his mouth in a big teasing smile, his tongue hanging. A smile in which Arthur Shelby could almost read the words “maybe, but I’m the one in her arms tonight.”

Say hi to your new best friend and slightly catastrophic guardian, Kaiser!

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

Tag: @meowtastick @babayaga67 @sired-to-hybridrid @shelbyssins @kxnnxyasdfg @adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd @woofgocows @anathemasworld

#Peaky blinders imagine #Arthur shelby x reader #Arthur shelby #Peaky blinders x reader #Arthur shelby x oc #Arthur shelby x ofc #peaky blinders #Tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby x reader #Peaky blinder fanfic #Heaven Shelby #Arthur shelby imagine #peaky blinders x y/n #peaky blinders x oc #Paul Anderson #tommy shelby

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mylostloversbookmarks · 1 year

Text

Take This Moment

Characters - Joel Miller x Reader, Ellie Williams

Summary - You, Joel and Ellie have been on the road to Jackson for weeks. While hiking through a forest you come across a little slice of heaven. The three of you take the day to enjoy the little things in life.

Word Count - 1.8K

Warnings/Tags - 18+ only Minors dni. Soft!Joel, fluff. Post-Outbreak.

A/N - I took a walk in my local forest park last weekend and I could not get this idea out of my scone, I wrote this in about 2 hours so I hope you all like it lol.

Reblogs, comments and feedback are always appreciated!

Divider credit to @saradika

You, Joel, and Ellie had been hiking for hours, doing your best to make it through the densest parts of the forest before losing the light and having to start setting up camp for the evening.

As you trudged along listening to Ellie's endless attempts to make Joel laugh with her awful book of puns. She got him a few times, watching him turn his head the other way, trying to hide his smirk.

Over the last few weeks, you have noticed Joel slowly opening up. He's becoming softer with you both, and the thought sent warmth radiating through your chest.

You tried your best to push your feelings for him to the very recesses of your mind, but somehow they always ended up front and centre when you saw him like this.

It was not exactly what you would call relaxed, but it was as close as he could afford to be given your current circumstances.

As the three of you make your way into a clearing, you and Ellie wander around the small section of forest that isn't completely dominated by trees, always staying within Joel's eyeline as instructed and taking in the scene before you.

You stand in the middle of a lush forest, surrounded by towering trees that seem to stretch endlessly towards the sky. Bright sunlight filters through the leaves, casting dappled shadows on the forest floor.

The air around you is warm and fresh, with a gentle breeze rustling the leaves and carrying the scents of pine and earth.

As you look around, you see a carpet of moss and ferns covering the ground, patterned by patches of wildflowers in varying shades of pink, purple, and yellow.

Birds sing sweetly in the distance, while the occasional rustle of leaves betrays the presence of small animals scurrying about their business.

This puts you slightly on edge, but you know that you are too far out for even stray infected to find you here, and you find yourself wishing you could stay in this quiet, secluded place forever.

Though you knew that wasn't possible, with supplies as hard to come by as they are in this hellish world, they are even harder to find in the middle of nowhere with nothing around you for miles.

As you continue to explore the clearing, you notice Joel watching you from a distance. His gaze lingers on you, and you can feel the heat of his stare setting fire to your skin.

Despite your efforts to keep your feelings for him at bay, you can't help but feel a surge of desire wash over you. You catch his eye, and he gives you a small, lopsided smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Feeling a flutter in your stomach at the sight of him with all his broad shoulders, strong arms, and veined hands that are resting on his hips. You smile back at him, a deep blush creeping across your cheeks.

Ellie's laughter draws your attention, and you turn to see her skipping through a patch of wildflowers, her arms outstretched like the wings of a butterfly. You can't help but feel a twinge of envy at her carefree attitude.

You long for the days when the world was a simpler place and you didn't have to constantly worry about not only your own survival but also that of Joel and Ellie, which you realise is now more important to you than your own.

When you look back at Joel, you see that he is watching her too, locked in a trance with a gleam in his eye you have never seen before, and you feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for his presence in your life.

He has become more than just a partner in survival; he has become a friend and your confidant, and you hoped maybe something more, but that was just a fantasy.

You explore the area surrounding the small clearing and hear a stream babbling somewhere nearby. You glance behind you and see Joel kneeling beside Ellie, teaching her the basics of how to track an animal, showing her the small hoof tracks left in the bracken by their feet.

"I'm just going to scout out this side; I'll shout if I need you, okay?" You call to Joel over your shoulder, hoping he's distracted enough with Ellie to let you out of his sight.

"Okay, but don't go too far. If you hear or see anything, you keep low, keep quiet, and you make it back to us, you hear me?" He instructs you, his voice low and serious; are you imagining the double meaning behind the 'us'? Had he wanted to say, 'Make it back to me'?

You nod your head solemnly at the man whose eyes are currently boring into your soul. Emploring you to be safe, you turn and head towards the sound that promises fresh drinking water.

As you wander further through the forest and come to a break in the treeline, you stop dead in your tracks.

You're glad that Ellie can't see you; you know she would burst into a fit of laughter if she could see your face, eyes wide and mouth hanging open in a comical 'O' in surprise.

Your brain isn't processing what your eyes are seeing. You blink rapidly to ensure you weren't imagining things from dehydration.

What lay just a few feet before you was not the small stream you were expecting; instead, what lay before you was a river—a large, crystal-clear river.

The water sparkles in the sunlight, and you can see schools of fish darting through the currents. The river looks so inviting, and you can't resist the urge to take a closer look.

You carefully make your way to the edge of the riverbank, marvelling at its sheer size and power. Dipping your fingers in the cool, fresh water, feeling it rush over your heated skin.

For a moment, you forget the current state of the world and just enjoy the simple beauty of nature. You close your eyes and let the sound and feeling wash over you.

You feel a sense of peace that you haven't felt since the world fell to its knees. As you sit by the river, your hand traces patterns on the surface, lost in your thoughts as Joel and Ellie approach behind you.

You don't bother to turn around; you have become well accustomed to the sound of his heavy footsteps.

"You've been gone for a while, and Joel started to get worried, so we came looking for you," Ellie murmured, almost in apology.

"Ellie" Joel sighs out her name in exasperation as if she has just blown his cover.

"What?!" She began. "You were all like." Ellie clears her throat, takes a deep breath and drops her voice a few octaves in order to mock Joel's deep, gravelly tones:

"No, she's been gone too long. Something must have happened. I need to find her." She rolled her eyes at him, shrugging her shoulders as she looked at you for help.

"I appreciate your concern. Joel, really, I do, but look at this," you say, beaming at him and gesturing towards the river. "It's incredible" you breathe.

Joel looks at you, his expression softening. "Yeah, it is," he whispers, his voice full of wonder as he takes in the sight of you.

Ellie is splashing around in the shallow water near the riverbank, her laughter once again filling the air. You decide to throw caution to the wind and join her.

Dropping your pack and toeing your boots off as you wade into the water after her, Joel watches on from the safety and dryness of the shore, chuckling openly as he watches you flicking water frantically in Ellie's direction.

He watches you both enjoying yourselves in the late afternoon heat as he sits on the edge of the river. Admiring how the water slicks your hair back out of your face and how it leaves your skin shiny and gleaming in the sunlight.

He tries to be subtle about it, glancing away quickly when he thinks you are going to look in his direction and stealing glances at you when your attention is focused on Ellie.

You tried to get him to join you both on multiple occasions; he declined, claiming that "one of us has to be the adult." Your response to that was to childishly splash water in his direction.

Making him turn his head and throw his hands up, hiding his laughter, but despite his efforts, you could see the dimple on his right cheek and his broad shoulders shaking up and down.

You catch his eye, and he looks away quickly, as if he's been caught doing something he shouldn't be doing.

And you can't quell the flutter in your chest at the sight of him watching you. His eyes seem to linger on you longer than usual, and you can't help but wonder what he's thinking.

You wade towards the shore, ready to join him on the bank. But before you can reach him, he steps forward, leans over and playfully shoves you back into the water.

You gasp as the cool water envelops you completely; you're unable to hold back your laughter as you resurface, looking up at Joel with a playful smirk stretching across your dripping face.

He chuckles, eyes crinkling at the corners in the way that makes your heart skip a beat, as he takes you in.

"Sorry about that Darlin, I couldn't help myself," he laughs low in his chest, holding a hand out to help you back onto the shore.

You take his hand, feeling a jolt of electricity as your skin touches his. A rush of excitement courses through you at the proximity of your body so close to his, feeling your cheeks flush with colour.

As you stand up, you're very aware of how your wet clothes cling to your body, and you feel Joel's eyes on you once again. You turn to face him, feeling a little self-conscious under his gaze.

To your surprise, his expression is soft and heated, and you can tell he's admiring you. A thrill of pleasure races through you at the look on his face, and you can't stop the smile that curls your lips upwards.

For a moment, the two of you just stood there, gazing at each other in the golden sunlight that streaked through the breaks in the canopy above your heads.

The sound of the river and Ellie's laughter fills the air, and you all lose yourselves in this little haven the three of you have created.

Feeling a sense of warmth radiating through your chest and squeezing at your heart for what felt like the millionth time today as you look into Joel's eyes.

You know you will never forget this moment. Enjoying the simple pleasure of being alive, surrounded by nature and the two people you care about most, fills your heart to capacity.

Knowing now that when things get rough, you will have this memory to think back on, things don't seem so unbearable after all.

#joel miller x reader #Joel x reader #joel x female reader #joel x f!reader #joel x afab reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #ellie williams #joel miller the last of us #tlou fic #pedro pascal characters #joel miller pedro pascal #joel miller hbo #ellie williams hbo

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ophryschuyler · 1 year

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My love is stronger than God himself

Osferth could be a little out of character but I wanted him to have the religious conflict. There's only so little osferth fics so I am doing my sacrifice for the better good. I'm sacrificing my grades. Also english is not my first language.

You can also read this on ao3

Summary:

Keeping a religious lifestyle turnes out to be a challenge for Osferth because of feelings he cannot resist.

She hissed at the feeling of cold air hitting the naked skin of her legs. She stood by the small lake alone due to the fact that she supposedly went to wash up. The real reason was to check on the wound on her side which during the last few hours felt like it was burning.

Two days ago, by accident, she took part in a small fight. But she didn’t regret it at all. When she and Uhtred's men stayed in a village, some locals drank a bit too much and chose the wrong person to infuriate.

She was talking to Osferth, like she always did, but then, two tall and dark-haired men, not very subtly tried to insinuate that she was too pretty to be talking to Osferth. He only shook his head.

“Pay them no mind.” He whispered.

She attempted to ignore them, but after a few minutes, they insisted that Osferth went to sit elsewhere. After he, yet again, took no notice of their words, they grabbed him by his collar and forcefully raised him up from his chair.

Then it was all a blur. Osferth punched them. She punched them. They punched back. She remembers the sight of a knife swinging, then Uhtred’s loud voice. He and Finan stopped the brawl.

Now, two days later, the wound from the muddy knife started to seem infected.

She rolled up the fabric to reveal the pale skin of her stomach. She didn’t know much about medicine, but it did not look to be healing.

She heard ruffling behind her, immediately turning around in fear.

“Oh! Sorry, I-” Osferth stumbled over his words, raising his arms in defeat.

Seeing her in only a thin layer of clothing, he stared at her in awe. Composing himself, he stood sideways, his cheeks turning dark red.

“I apologize. I only meant to inform you that we are leaving in a quarter of an hour.” He looked down at his shoes, visibly embarrassed.

He waited for her to scold him for breaching her privacy.

“Actually, can you help me?” Her voice cut through the silence.

He looked at her again. He could not refuse assisting her. He liked the girl. Adored her.

But he should not look at her. Not the way he did. He gawked at her half naked body. His cheeks becoming even more cherry-red. He felt his heart skipping a beat.

“Whatever could I help you with?” He asked, still standing a few meters away. Not moving a muscle.

A part of him, the rational part, wanted him to never step closer. Especially not now. Not now, when he wished for nothing more than to taste her lips.

“Can you tell if it’s infected?” Her voice was so quiet. So delicate. It barely reached Osferth’s ears.

She almost changed her mind when the man remained motionless. After all, she was bare, vulnerable. Osferth was a man of honour and a gentle person, would he as much as stand next to her? Right in this moment?

Before she could blink, he was just an arm reach away.

He knew what it meant.

He was fucked.

Once again, she rolled the fabric of her shirt. Osferth never looked away from her eyes. Not until the eye contact became too much for her and she lost her gaze somewhere in the line of the trees, behind Osferth.

The man slightly leaned down and was met with the sight of a small wound.

She tried not to focus on the faint feeling of his fingers. Now, not only the cut was burning, but also every part of her where their skins met.

“You cannot tell a soul about this.” She said suddenly. Their eyes met again.

Osferth raised his eyebrows.

“About the cut. They needn’t to worry.”

“Is it from the…”

“Yes.”

His fingers remained on her side. She got hurt fighting for his safety.

“I’m sorry.”

“Tis not your fault.”

He smiled slightly.

With every second, the air seemed to become hotter and hotter.

“It does not look infected. But it does need a bit of cleaning.” He informed after a while of silence.

“Thank you.” She expected to loose the feeling of his touch.

But that did not happen.

Instead, he straightened his back, his eyes still glued to her stomach. His hand started to escalade. Slowly, but the effect it had on her terrified the girl.

Y/N felt her ears burn with redness. She stared at his face wide-eyed in shock.

When his fingers caressed the side of her breast, she felt her heart stop.

Then, something snapped inside of Osferth. He grabbed her, harsher than before and crashed his lips onto hers. She did not expect the ever so religious Osferth kiss her at all, let alone this passionately. After a second she started to kiss back, seizing the back of his neck. Her head felt dizzy.

Her hands went to hold his burning face when his other arm brought her even closer.

Of course she thought about kissing Osferth. Sometimes she stared at him, sitting across from him. His face in the dim light of the fire flames. She would gaze at the way he smiled, wishing his curved lips were on her. She would watch his broad back, the shape of his arms, his hands. Even when she didn’t realize. No matter the situation, her eyes always found a way to look at the man.

Osferth was no better. Recently, he had to pray in the middle of the night. When they had to sleep next to each other. He could not fall asleep, because of his hammering heart. The peaceful sight of her, made his soul ache. His thoughts betrayed him and crossed paths he considered wrongful. Against the rational part of his mind, he imagined what it would feel like to lay closer to her. So close that her breath would mix with his own. What it would feel like to make her breath hitch in her throat. To kiss every part of her skin that he could find. To hear her say things so, so filthy…

The moment he realized how sinful his thoughts were, he got up and went for a walk. To breathe. He prayed. He begged for forgiveness, but with every word he found himself asking not for his lust to stop. But he prayed just for her love. For his feeling to be returned. Then he apologized to God, for his chaotic mind. He tried to convince himself that it was just a difficult night.

Next day he woke up and felt lighter. Since then, he tried so hard to restrain himself from thoughts like these.

She had to prevent herself from moaning when he pressed her against his body even harder.

The way she kissed him felt even more pleasurable than he imagined.

God, her lips.

God…

God-

He pulled away suddenly. Her lips were swollen and wet. She looked so perfect. No.

“I’m sorry. I-…” He stepped a few feet away, not meeting her gaze. “I should not have done that. I can’t”

She couldn’t look him in the eyes either. Instead she stared at the cross on his chest.

Without another word, he left her. She stared at the space were Osferth just stood. She felt tears in her eyes, but blinked them away.

***

“Are you here alone, girl?” A man asked her.

“She’s with me.” Osferth informed. He appeared out of nowhere, laying his hand on her shoulder protectively.

In the alehouse, sitting away from the rest of the group, she was alone, indeed. Osferth has been evading her since the day by the lake. She has been avoiding talking to him too. She felt hurt and a little angry. Angry that he left her like that. That for a second she let herself enjoy the thought of having Osferth. She was mourning something that she never had.

Maybe she was angry at herself.

Osferth on the other hand, felt ashamed, not only for loosing himself in his feelings, but also for hurting Y/N. He left her at the lake, half naked and heart-broken.

“Fuck God.” Finan said to Osferth after he told the man how he felt.

“What? You can’t say that!”

“If God is stopping you from being with her, then fuck him.”

“I was to be fully devoted to God.” Osferth protested.

“Fuck that.” Finan laughed.

“It’s not only that. Don’t you think she would want someone… Fitter for her?” He looked at the ground.

Seeing the confused look on his friend’s face, he continued.

“Braver? Stronger maybe?”

“You’re an idiot. She’s completely crazy about you. And you are brave. Strong? I’m not sure, but brave – yes. Don’t think only about yourself and your God. Think of her. Don’t you want to make her content? From what I know, she would be content with you.” With that, he hit Osferth’s back.

“She’s with you?” The man asked.

“Is that a problem to you?” Osferth asked with a serious face.

The man just groaned and frowned, after a few more seconds he left. For the first time in days Osferth dared to glance at her face. She didn’t even look in his direction. With a bored expression her gaze remained on the drink in her hand.

He slid into the chair next to her.

“I’m sorry.” He said. His words merely a whisper, it barely reached her ears.

The sound of his apologetic voice forced her to look at him. His body gave the expression like he wanted nothing more than to hold her. She shifted a little closer.

“What are you sorry about?” She asked quietly.

“For kissing you. Confusing you.”

She frowned and looked down.

“Oh.”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you out of nowhere, without expressing how I feel first. I should not have left you at the lake, but I felt horrible. I was confused myself. I’m supposed to be utterly devoted to God.”

Oh.

“I understand.” She shifted back.

She wanted to leave. To get away from him. To not see his ethereal face again.

“No, I don’t think you do.” He slowly embraced her hand and brought it to his heart. “There are two things I cannot live without. Faith and you. But if it wasn’t in God’s will for me to love you, he wouldn’t make it so effortless. If he wants to stop me – stop us – he can try. My feelings are stronger than God himself.” He stopped for a second.

He finally noticed the tears in her eyes. The small smile on her lips.

Under her palm, she felt fast and intense beating of his heart. Unsteady rhythm, the sign that this was real.

She was too stunned to say a word. Any sound would get stuck in her throat.

“I would be the most grateful man if you gave me a second chance. To make things right this time.”

She finally moved, bringing his face to hers. She kissed him.

This time it wasn’t so lustful and hungry. It was sweet, delicate, loving. When they pulled away for much needed air, he saw her blushed cheeks and her cheery smile.

Her smile.

She leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes.

“You always make things right, in the end.”

#osferth x reader #osferth #the last kingdom #tlk #osferth imagine

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 1 month

Text

Dancing 'til the break of dawn - Pt1

(TWST zombie apocalypse au for all your crack-fic needs)

Yuu would like to make one thing very clear: he did not start the zombie apocalypse on purpose.

In fact, he would like to argue that it – probably – would have started even without his help! Yeah, so he might have accidentally fed and housed a zombie cat because he had mistaken it for a very unfortunate stray on its last legs, and the zombie cat had bitten his parents, turning them into zombies, which kickstarted the apocalypse… but how did that zombie cat come to be? Hm? Hm?

The apocalypse was inevitable! He swears!

But, uh… he would admit that maybe taking in Grim was not the brightest decision he had ever made.

Or maybe it was an amazing plan. He hadn’t yet been attacked by a zombie. He was pretty sure that the zombies were a hivemind of sorts, and since he was nice to Grim they were all cool with him… or something. Maybe he was just uniquely disgusting to the point where no one wanted to eat him. Which was a weirdly insulting thought to have, so he preferred to believe that Grim was doing him a heck of a solid.

Which had its own problems. Had he accidentally sacrificed the entire human race for the sake of saving his own skin? Because that would be, at least, the tiniest, littlest bit messed up, he thought.

He rubbed his weird zombie cat’s head. Grim was a strange looking thing, with green skin and a face that was visibly on the verge of rotting. However, Grim was still a cat, Yuu was pretty sure, and therefore he deserved all of the love. He opened his arms, smiling when Grim readily hopped into them for the sake of pets. The texture was close to that of a hairless cat, save for a tiny patch of moss on the end of its tail, which looked soft, but Yuu had no intentions of touching it. Not right now, at least. Maybe if this zombie apocalypse survival stuff got too hard he would give in to temptation despite the very high likelihood that it could end in him getting infected.

Maybe tomorrow would be the day, he mused absently. After all, he was running low on supplies. He’d need to leave the safety of this random apartment and find a convenience store or something of that nature sometime soon, otherwise he’d starve to death.

But he didn’t wanna. Do you know how hard it is to find a store that hasn’t already been ransacked? Would you want to have to evade groups of humans who had taken to cannibalism way too quickly? Do you think it’s easy to explain to people that, actually, the zombie cat isn’t parasitic and lying in wait until it can kill you? How good would you be at ignoring the screams of people being eaten by zombies? Like, really, his life was so awful. You would think it was karma or something! He would like to reiterate that he does not deserve this! The zombie apocalypse was not his fault!

He groaned and flopped down in bed with Grim, burying his face in a pillow. It smelled off, slightly dingy, but he wasn’t going to complain. It wasn’t like the old owner had known they were going to have the most uninvited of guests. And he couldn’t file a complaint, anyways, because chances were they were dead already.

He huffed and pressed a kiss to the top of Grim's head.

"Make sure to get a good night's sleep, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow," he mumbled. He wished he could say it was more to himself than anything, since he was aware that it was very weird to talk to a cat (a zombie version of a cat, no less), but... no. He was talking to Grim.

And Grim, to his credit, purred like he understood and settled down to sleep.

Yuu continued to stay awake for only a few moments more, his eyes remained trained on the ceiling as he pieced through his plan for the next day.

He ended up drifting off out of pure boredom before he had even finished planning his route.

It wouldn't matter anyways, though, surely tomorrow would be just another day.

Yuu sighed lightly as he trudged down the street. Zombies were avoiding him, as usual. He liked not being eaten, so this was nice.

The summer heat was not nice, though. He glowered at the orange skies above him as if he could will the sun to leave him alone already. It did not listen to him, which was disappointing, but he would live.

Probably. Hopefully.

He’d have an easier time living if Grim didn’t insist on being carried everywhere like the diva he was, because Yuu had seen him walk a few times, the lying prick, but fine. Whatever. It wasn’t like the ability to use his hands was necessary during an apocalyptic scenario or anything.

He was left to grumble incoherently as he continued on his search for a store that was still stocked enough to bother breaking into.

He found one… far sooner than he’d thought he would.

Suspiciously fast, actually.

He looked at Grim.

“What do you think, buddy?”

Grim blinked his one eye at him lazily.

This was practically a glowing endorsement! No zombies inside!

He deserves this, really.

He looked around for something to break the glass. It wasn’t difficult. He set down Grim despite the cat’s whining so he could pick up an abandoned brick. There was a dark red stain on the corner of it.

Ewwwwwwww. It was sticky.

He threw the brick at the glass door to the convenience store with probably a little bit more force than was entirely necessary. But, in his defense, it was gross to touch.

It wasn’t even worth it in the end! Because, the second he stepped towards the door, winding the cloth of his shirt around his hand so he could widen the hole enough for him to step through without injuring himself, the automatic glass doors slid open.

Yuu blushed. “Good thing no one saw that, right?” he said to Grim.

Grim, who he was beginning to suspect might actually know what he was saying, gave him what one could only describe as a raised eyebrow. Considering the cat only had half a face, making this expression was actually quite the feat. Yuu wasn’t sure how he felt about the effort the zombie put into making sure that he could accurately interpret how unimpressed he was.

He sighed, picked up the zombie again, and stepped inside.

The place looked like… well, just about any place in the apocalypse. Blood stained just about everything, rendering the food labels largely unreadable. The emergency lights still worked, but only barely, flickering more than the lights in a B-list horror movie. What had almost definitely once been a person was slumped in a corner, though it was almost unidentifiable now, its clothes missing and its guts torn out.

Yuu set down Grim so the zombie could go and have a snack.

Grim didn’t leave his side, instead he stayed close to his heels.

This, really, should have tipped him off that something was wrong. Grim never turned down the opportunity to eat.

Yuu, though, was too busy rubbing his thumb on a canned food label, trying to figure out what aisle he was currently in, to notice.

No, it wasn’t until Grim started growling lowly that he looked up.

A boy with a shock of messy red hair and clothes that were painted with way too much blood for it to only have been his own had been trying to sneak up on him. He had a knife out, and Yuu didn’t think that there was anything that needed cutting anywhere nearby.

Yuu shrieked and threw the can of beans at him. The redhead stumbled backwards, cradling his head, mumbling curses under his breath.

And then his expression twisted into a scowl. His grip tightened on his knife.

He took a step forward.

Grim hissed, baring fangs.

The redhead only spared a halfhearted glance down at the cat before turning his attention back to Yuu, who was scrambling for another can to throw.

And then the redhead did a double take.

He screamed and backed up a few steps, only barely stopping himself from dropping his knife in his surprise. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR CAT?!”

Yuu hesitated for just a moment too long. “Uhhhhh nothing is wrong with him.”

“THEY'RE GREEN?!”

“And you’re white but I wasn’t going to say anything about that,” Yuu sniffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

The boy spluttered. “First of all. I’m Japanese. Everyone here is Japanese. We’re in fucking Japan. Second. Of. All. Humans can be white! Cats can’t be green!”

“Explain Grim then,” Yuu argued.

There was no response. The boy was too stunned to speak. Because he had realized that Yuu’s logic checked out perfectly, no doubt.

Slowly, the redhead ran a hand through his hair. He pulled on a few strands, hard, seemingly trying to make sure he wasn’t asleep, or in some weird fever dream, or that he hadn’t been bitten and was now going insane… he didn’t seem to be all that glad to realize that everything in front of him was actually very real.

He sunk a little in defeat, leaning against a nearby shelf and eyeing Yuu warily, but at least he was no longer openly hostile. “What is wrong with you?” he asked, somewhere between exasperated and genuinely curious.

Yuu frowned. He was not sure he liked this line of conversation more than discussing Grim. Grim was green, after all! Out of the two, surely Grim should be getting all of the attention.

But he was pretty sure that saying that out loud might be considered ‘hypocrisy’, and despite the fact that this guy had definitely tried to kill him, he didn’t want to seem like a hypocrite in front of him!

Wait a second.

“I’m the weird one?! You were trying to kill me!”

Grim didn’t look particularly happy upon being reminded of this fact.

The boy didn’t seem happy that Grim wasn’t happy, because he immediately paled and rushed to say that, “No, I wasn’t!”

Yuu looked at the knife in his hand.

He cleared his throat and dropped it. He tried for an innocent smile, as if that would somehow make Yuu forget what he had literally just watched happen. “You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot.”

“Because you tried to stab me,” Yuu said flatly.

He stuck his hand out. “C’monnnn, what’s a little stabbing between new friends?”

Now, Yuu should absolutely not take that hand. Someone that had almost stabbed him once would almost certainly attempt another stabbing in the future.

But he had started talking to a cat, as of late. A zombie cat that you could argue (to much success) that he had made the much worse decision to befriend in the first place. And that had turned out fine. For him, at least.

So, he jumped at the opportunity for a new friend. He grabbed his hand in both of his own, shaking it with what was almost definitely way too much enthusiasm.

“I’m Yuu.”

“Ace…” the redhead said. He tried to pull his hand away, but Yuu was half convinced that he would turn tail and run if he did that, so he held strong. Ace looked mildly bewildered by the entire situation. He looked at the zombie cat at Yuu’s feet for a few moments. The cat did not seem all that pleased by this newfound friendship – the way he eyed the pair’s interlocked hands spoke volumes. “I don’t think that they like me.”

“He doesn’t like anyone,” Yuu said, shrugging.

Ace hesitated, briefly. His eyes flicked over Grim a few more times.

Realization sparkled in his eyes as he realized what, exactly, Grim was.

He looked at Yuu again, something appraising in his gaze. Something wary.

Without looking away from Yuu, he reached his free hand into his pocket. He pulled out a scrap of mystery meat and dropped it on the floor for Grim.

Grim sniffed it, once, before eating it.

Ace breathed a sigh of relief when the cat gave him what was unmistakably a nod of approval.

(And then visibly had a crisis over the fact that he was, apparently, looking to a cat for approval.)

~~~~~~~

Pt2>

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst fanfic #twst yuu #ace trappola #twst grim #i just feel like ace is the type to become a cannibal after like 3 days in the apocalypse. idk why. he just has the vibes #anyways. im v burnt out and need a dumb lil fic to mess around with #and i love zombie apocalypse aus #so yeah

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shywhumpauthor · 10 months

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Gowns and Green Jello

Y’all I wrote this in maybe ten minutes right after I woke up. The words wrote themselves. Was just gonna be a dialogue prompt.

Cw: recovery, hospital, bad caretaker, emotional trauma from both sides, past torture, descriptions of scars/permanent injuries/healed gore, infection

“Dunno why they call this a gown,” Whumpee grumbled, their frail hand raising to tug at their other sleeve, fixing the thin fabric from where it had begun to fall off their shoulder again. “I don’t feel fuckin’ fancy.”

“Whumpee,” Caretaker chided, giving them a moment to fumble on their own before reaching over and fixing the small tie on the back of Whumpee’s hospital gown that they wouldn’t have been able to reach on their own.

Whumpee huffed, swatting Caretaker’s hand away when they didn’t immediately pull back after retying the strings.

Caretaker looked back at their friend—their best friend. The one they had promised to themself that they would protect. A promise they’d now broken for the second time. The first when they’d let Whumper take them, a crime stained across Caretaker’s sleepless nights and Whumpee’s broken body. You shouldn’t blame yourself, Caretaker’s therapist advised them every time they brought the topic up. You couldn’t have known. You weren’t home.

Whumpee was right, though, the gown certainly was not the most flattering thing in the fashion industry. As thin as paper, made of white fabric with some awful blue and green polka dot and stripe pattern, caretaker doubted it would look good on anyone. Certainly not… not on Whumpee. Not with their too-thin body or their twisted limbs, evidence of broken bones never properly healed laying just below the skin. Their scarred, burned, flayed skin which was now the evidence of caretaker’s second failure, the ugly, red infection creeping out from a wound on Whumpee’s thigh, now concealed by bandages and the hospital’s sheets. Their hair, cut shorter than Caretaker’s ever seen it, falling awkwardly and unevenly as if it had been cut with kitchen scissors—which Caretaker wouldn’t doubt.

Their face was worst of all. Whumper seemed to have targeted every ounce of brutality there, and the rest of their body was just in the danger zone of the attacks. Sometimes, Caretaker couldn’t bare to look. Their throat would close up and the guilt would swell to impossible amounts, and Caretaker would have to quickly excuse themself from Whumpee’s presence. They were sure their friend has seen it. That their forlorn, self-conscious expression was undoubtedly of Caretaker’s doing. They tried to make up for it in any and every way they possibly could.

“You look just as beautiful as ever,” Caretaker took Whumpee’s hand, the one that had just smacked them, using that as a bit of leverage so Caretaker could lean forwards out of the plasticky armchair to press a kiss to Whumpee’s temple. Something in their chest twisted as Whumpee complained and pushed them back, but they couldn’t conceal the flicker of emotion behind Whumpee’s gaze, the weight to their movements. God, how long has it been since they’d kissed Whumpee? Affection was a thing Caretaker used to dish out by the dozen, and they still did. Just… not to Whumpee. Not like they used to. Caretaker tried but, honestly, it felt weird. Wrong. And they hated themself for feeling that way, they tried to make up for it, but half the time their so called casual displays of admirable would come out feeling strained and forced, which they knew Whumpee could feel.

They could see the tug in Whumpee’s expression before they turned away, the heartbrokenness just swimming behind their remaining eye. The atmosphere in the small hospital room faded into something heavy, and Caretaker was tempted to reach for Whumpee’s hand again, but the way they were angled now limited Caretaker’s access from their right hand, their good hand.

Their left rested inches away, just over the bed rail. Mangled fingers and flesh that barely resembled a hand resting on top of the pillow propped in Whumpee’s lap. Two and a half fingers remaining, scarred flesh raised like veins. The back of their palm layered with so much they couldn’t tell on mark from the next, burns from stabs from breaks.

Caretaker let their own hands fall back to their sides. Both Whumpee and then knew just was a lie rested between them.

“I’ll go see if the nurse can sneak us some jello,” Caretaker said after a moment of tension, slapping their palms against their knees with a newfound purpose as they stood up. “I saw someone with a green cup earlier, I know it’s your favorite. Be right back,” they promised, quickly moving towards and out the door.

“Bye,” Whumpee mumbled, looking over their shoulder as Caretaker practically ran out of the room. Only once they were alone, Whumpee raised a palm to their eyes, scrubbing away the tears before they could fall.

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autismrelatabites · 4 months

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hi! i dont know if you can help with this but i was wondering if you could offer me any advice? i struggle with sensory issues relating to cleanliness, meaning i hate the feeling of clean hands and hand sanitizer. i really want to stop being unsanitary but every time i wash my hands with soap i want to crawl out of my skin and i feel like a slob now that people are noticing :( i can power through it but i just wanted to know if you knew any ways i can get clean without feeling horrible

I understand completely. Sensory issues can be a nightmare, and something as common as handwashing is something really tough to have to force yourself through multiple times a day.

In terms of the actual feeling or sensations, I don't know how many things you've tried, so forgive me if you have already done this and it didn't work:

Trying different water temperatures

Buying and using lotions after washing your hands (gets rid of the dry sensation and gives you a barrier for your skin)

As a last resort, buying and using one-use gloves for when you use the bathroom or do anything that causes you to pick up germs

However, I cannot understate how important it is to wash your hands semi-regularly, not just for your own health, but for the health of everyone you interact with. Not washing your hands can cause hepatitis, gastrointestinal infections like norovirus and salmonellosis, and respiratory infections, such as influenza, colds and covid, which can spread very quickly.

If you have a friend who is immune-compromised, someone elderly like a grandparent, or even someone who is sick or on their period, you are putting them in danger every day, not to mention every person who may use a door handle after you, eat food prepared by you, shake hands with you, be handed something by you.

Sensory issues are hard, I hate washing dishes for example, I don't like any part of it, the entire experience is awful for me. However, it needs doing, because otherwise I risk mold and other diseases. There are some things you just simply cannot avoid doing because you don't like it, both for your own safety, but for the safety of others.

#ask #im not attacking you op #im just trying to help #anyone who has any suggestions feel free to add them

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hellyeahsickaf · 4 months

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If you want to get mad about how fucking awful some doctors are, here you go

With my post about medical discrimination against addicts and disabled people gaining traction again I got a few people asking about how I'm doing after my kidney infection and what happened in the ER. I'm better, could've been much worse but when I was seen they gave me antibiotics before anything else- it was the one thing they did right

I knew I had a kidney infection, I told them that I had a UTI and checked off all of the boxes for a kidney infection which is potentially deadly and leads to sepsis in as little as 12-48 hours if untreated. Pro tip because I'm an idiot- always see a doctor for UTIs, you can't just self treat them even if it seems to be going away as was the case for me. That's how it reaches your kidneys. Whoops 🥴

I waited a few hours which is expected but I got progressively worse. I also reported my pain as an 8/10 (9 by the time I was seen), migraine, fever, chills, weakness, dizziness, fatigue, nausea, probably some other things. I was shaking, crying, curled up, truly some of the worst pain I've ever felt next to gallstones. Maybe others handle this kind of thing better. Or maybe most grown ass men they see in this condition either have serious injuries or are addicts putting on a show. In which case they'd still be truly suffering. It shouldn't matter if they're an addict if they're in the ER desperate for relief in that moment. But yeah, I was ignored for most of the night aside from being given antibiotics and Tylenol. I just reread my clinical notes from that night actually and got mad again lol

I saw the doctor for under 5 minutes that night. He asked why I was there and how I was doing. I told him how awful I felt and he didn't carry out any examinations, it was the first time I'd gone to the ER and wasn't even asked to wear a gown. Either way he was extremely neglectful. Had the nerve to report exams for ENT, eyes, cardio, abdominal, skin, etc that never happened. He didn't lay a finger on me. Reported answers to questions I was never asked like whether I've had past surgeries (he put no when I have). And at the end of his clinical notes he states the following:

"..While I considered a CT abdomen/pelvis, I do not currently feel it is necessary based on the patient's physical exam and clinical history and review of any labs that were ordered. Patient is otherwise well appearing; feel it is reasonable to discharge the patient home at this time with close outpatient follow up."

So he claims he considered a CT scan but based on the results of exams he never performed and clinical history he never asked for and the fact that I was "well appearing" (felt like I was dying), he felt it was "not necessary" to order a CT scan. Only at the end of my visit- 6 hours later was I given an effective painkiller. This negligence genuinely could have killed me and I didn't want it to happen to someone else so I reported him for malpractice. They carried out an investigation and concluded there was no wrongdoing on his part. The woman that was in charge of being in contact with me during the investigation was really nice and also pissed off on my behalf and rightfully so. Also some days after my visit I got a lab report indicating that the strain of infection I had was fairly uncommon and pretty fuckin dangerous with some strains being immune to antibiotics

Maybe I should have advocated for myself better but the condition I was in, I could hardly talk at all. I just hate that he just gets to keep practicing medicine and jeopardizing the health of his patients to make his job easier despite the fact that it could kill someone. It's fucked up how easy it is for doctors to get away with this shit really.

#ok to like #okay to reblog #medical ableism #medical malpractice #chronic pain #chronic illness #disability #chronic fаtiguе ѕуndrоmе #spoonie #me/cfs #ableism #fibromyalgia #actually disabled

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laviejaguardia · 2 years

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It gets a little too much sometimes. It mounts up, a pressure under Joe’s sternum that won't let up, the world dims around him slowly, so gradually he doesn't notice it until it's too late. Especially if they've been doing back to back missions, or he's had to be away from Nicky a lot.

Nicky notices, but also knows Joe's too stubborn to recognize it. He'll insist he's fine, that it's all good, until one day he's sketching and everything he draws comes out ugly, until he tries to find one of his colourful paints and realizes he doesn't even remember where they are; it's been too long since he used them

That's when Nicky finds him standing somewhere, completely still, eyes and expression vacant but his cheeks and beard already wet with streaming tears.

Then Nicky stands close gently, so as not to startle him, and wraps one arm around his waist, pressing their sides together so Joe can tuck there. When the warmth of his body finally soaks through, Joe turns just a little and presses his face on the crook of Nicky’s neck, hiding from the world that seems so grey and harsh into the one place he knows it's always safe: his husband's arms. Then, and only then, he's able to let go.

"I hated it," Joe confesses against the warm private nestle of Nicky’s neck. Nicky can feel his lips against his skin and the wet press of his scrunched eyes. He hums and cards his hand through his curls, resting his own head over Joe's. His curls tickle his nose so he gives them a kiss. "Every second of it. They made me-" he takes a shuddering breath and pivots so he’s hugging Nicky, their fronts connecting. He tightens his hold on Nicky's back and in turn, Nicky gathers him impossible closer, something soft and broken mending inside of him as Joe rests even more of his weight on him. "I had to do awful things so they wouldn't suspect me."

"I know, hayati, I know." His soul aches for his lover. His Yusuf, so full of emotion and kindness, masking them hurts him, it borrows and festers inside of him like an infection. "But we got them all out. You got them all out."

Joe's breath hitches with the reminder, Nicky's neck feels wetter.

"It was horrible, so horrible, Nicolò." He pushes himself off and Nicky lets him, meets his big brown reddened eyes when he looks up. The lines around them are deeper, hinting at a fraction of their real age. "How can people still do this?" He asks with a desolation that knows no bounds. "How can they- of all the options in this world- I just- how can they choose to do this, Nicolò?" He pleads, not looking for a real answer. "I'm so tired."

Nicky reels him in again, close and tight to his own body, which has felt like half a life ever since they parted. It's been so long, too long. Neither of them does well with distance. And even though they knew it was the best course of action it didn't mean they enjoyed a single second of this aspect.

"I missed you," Joe burrows further into his skin and Nicky starts to feel his soul start to settle in his body. He clutches him closer, tighter, until there isn't an ounce of air between them. If only he could split his ribcage open and tuck Joe inside, keep him sheltered from all of this world's pains, feed him only with his love and show him only the world's most beautiful things.

But then he wouldn't be his Yusuf. He wouldn't be the man who first leaps into danger, yet never does more harm than necessary. He wouldn't be the man able to find the hope in the darkest of time, the humour -jaded and dark if needed- in the direst of moments.

"I missed Nile. And Andy. And Booker." He lets out a wet laugh that holds no humour. "I missed this," he says and squeezes him again, dutifully, Nicky squeezes him back, drops another kiss on his curls and rocks them softly back and forth. "I missed your cooking and Andy's teasing and Nile's sarcasm and Booker's opinions on cheeses. I missed my family," that last part dissolves into a sob.

"We're here, Yusuf," Nicky reminds him. "You have us."

"And those- god those girls, Nicky. They will never get to go back to their lives, not in the same way. I shouldn't be complaining."

Nicky frowns and tuts, carding his fingers more tightly in his curls.

"We've left behind our own lives more times than we can count, Yusuf. And thanks to you those girls are getting back to their homes and can start to heal. You know their families will be eternally grateful, you've given them their lives back."

Yusuf sniffles and pets his back, a long stroke from the small of his back to the curl of his shoulder blades. The feeling is so comforting in its familiarity Nicky finds himself blinking back tears.

"I love you." Joe's lips brush his skin with the words. Nicky wonders for a second how many times has that happened by now. No matter how high the number, it'll never be enough. "So much it’s beyond words."

Nicky huffs a laugh, not dismissive but pleased. Under his hands he can feel how Joe's back has relaxed, his breathing is coming more smoothly. "That's not what you were saying a thousand years ago but okay."

"A thousand years ago you hadn't learned to cook a stew so good it made me weep."

"Ah yes, the stew of romance," Nicky chuckles and lets Joe push away to reveal his face. "My greatest achievement. Filled our bellies and made you fall in love with me all at once." He gives him a whisper of a smile, lost in the memory.

It hadn't been of course that easy. The stew had been their first meal with meat in months and Nicky had spent more time batting Joe's hands away from the pot than stirring it. When it had been finally done Joe had been practically drooling. At the first spoonful he'd almost couldn't swallow it with the way he was groaning.

"Oh Allah be merciful. Nicolò I love you, please marry me," he'd begged over Nicky's snorting laughter.

Nicky hadn't thought much of the comment at the time, taking it for the jest between friends it had been. It was in the middle of the night, gripped with unusual insomnia despite his warm and full belly that the words had come back to him. It had made him realize how far they'd come, and how he couldn't envision his future without Yusuf in it now.

The deeper feelings would take longer to surface, but when Joe had asked him when he'd started to suspect there could be more between them, it had been the memory of that night and that stew that had come back to Nicky as clear as the night sky.

Now that same night sky seems to be stuck on Joe's pupils as he stares up at him. His cheeks are wet and his eyes red. He looks tired on a fundamental level that Nicky knows will take him a long time to rest and recover from.

Nicky brings a hand to cradle his chin, thumb resting on the curve of chin. He had to keep shaved for the job and it’s been slow to grow back properly, another thing Joe doesn't like. Each glance in the mirror has been a sour reminder.

His eyes hold pleas and apologies that there's no need to utter. Nicky smiles softly at him, his chest burning with how much he loves him.

"I know, tesoro, I love you too. We'll be okay, I promise." He tips Joe's chin closer and seals his words with a soft, gentle kiss.

#a little Joe whump cause someone has been getting me in the mood #the old guard #tog #tog fic #kaysanova #joenicky #immortal husbands #joe x nicky #yusuf al-kaysani #nicolò di genova #mmine #my writing #undercover aftermath #demonicneonfishy #usernati #userlyde #nilefreemans #trying to figure out what tags to use is SO STRESSFULL

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