#lol I am suffering

[cryptidafter]

finally having an allergy test done on Wednesday but uhhh still really nervous

Living in a house with mold for 10+ years fucking sucks 0/10 would not recommend

#I basically have all the long term health problems associated with mold exposure lol #and idk what can be done about it #it’s been over seven years of shit since I moved out #I was extremely sick for the first two weeks after I first moved away from that house #and after that it’s been one health issue after another after another #the fatigue has been getting worse #as have the skin infections which are awful #since I’m off my allergy meds my skin has been worse than it has in awhile #the rash has even spread to my face and arms which it never has before #lol I am suffering #autoimmune issues run in my family too so it’s gr8 knowing this has definitely wrecked my immune system #I was constantly sick growing up and it’s like ha ha I wonder why #sinus infections all the time #caught every cold #always ill after doing the simplest of tasks #caught COVID the beginning of this year and it’s been a wild ride ever since

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[sygneth]

game of deduction

#my art #victorian husbands #john watson #sherlock holmes #sherlock holmes fanart #acd canon #acd holmes #acd watson #still haven't decide what hair do i want to draw holmes with buuuut #i am kind of leaning towards this one? maybe? idk #drawing really short hair is just a nightmare for me lol #i already died three times drawing watson's hair because. too short #(but i want to give justice to sherlock's receding hairline at the same time nggh the strongest battles why must i suffer like that) #[sometimes i hope no one reads tags on my art posts] #i suppose this shade of blue tie wouldn't be the most usual for daywear back then? but i couldn't resist for it to match his eyes #hooray first solid drawing for a *long* timeee

[waveoftheocean]

06.10.23 happy birthday iwa-chan!! sorry for inflicting paperwork on you for your bday but at least you have oikawa to help (coughdistractcough) you 🥰

#haikyuu!! #iwaoi #iwaizumi hajime #oikawa tooru #haikyuu #hq #mine #my art #wip #lol i wanna color this but at the rate i'm going at it'll be finished in either a week or in 3 years so uh. guess we'll see how it goes :DDD #still can't believe it's already been half a year since i started this... #(absolutely not looking at the wips that have been sitting in my wip folder for years) #i'm not exaggerating literal years..... #but ANYWAYS yeah i specifically am inflicting tax paperwork on them bc its what i was procrastinating on when i started this #but you can imagine it's whatever kind of paperwork or homework or whatever tedious suffering you want :D #love is stored in the “i hate this thing SO MUCH but i hate it slightly less when i'm with you”

[vaguely-concerned]

Concept: After the one two punch of Tain’s death scene and the official augment reveal, Garak and Julian Do Not talk about it directly for a long long time, but Julian does pointedly assign Frankenstein for their homoerotic book club lunch after Dr. Bashir I Presume. Garak is…Untroubled. 

(“Monstrous fathers create monstrous sons all the time without ever resorting to anything so dramatic or crude as lightning rods and graverobbing, my dear Doctor. Why, in some families it’s practically a tradition. A family trade, honed to perfection over the span of generations.”

“Yeah?” 

“Could anything but such an iterative process explain the existence of Skrain Dukat, do you think?”

“Hah! You know what, you may have a point.”) 

It’s about. The mutual ‘We may both have been made into different kinds of monsters at the hands of our fathers and yeah I guess that kind of sucks. But at least at the end of the day neither of us is Gul Dukat’ emotional security of it all

#garashir #star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #gul dukat #I know I made a post with a very similar joke recently but frankly I am suffering the mortifying ordeal of having to watch dukat speak #I must channel my burning hatred into dunking on him or else go mad #his one redeeming feature as a character IS that it's hilarious every time he shows up I suppose lol

[pmpwbrrs]

H

Explanation for a thing below: sometimes, when iterator is just made, ancients paint X on their forehead. Because i think thats neat

It stays for a loong time, tho slowly fades

#my dad looked at (sketch)pebbles and asked “thats an ant :)?” #i am glad. i told him that it is #rain world #rw #rw five pebbles #rw fp #rw no significant harassment #rw nsh #i think i have a special place in my heart for screen-faced nsh lol. always love seeing designs like that- #-and I couldn't help but draw him that way myself #also sig's colours made me suffer. it's always such a struggle for me to colour them. but i like the result so it was worth it #pmpwbrrs

[theminecraftbee]

so a thing this fandom does that remains FASCINATING to me, as a function of the fact a lot of this fandom is people's first fandom or only current fandom, is just... assume a lot of things it does is a scourge that this fandom has invented or doesn't exist outside of it? or like, is uniquely bad here? and i won't deny that sometimes mcyt fandom is a bit more intense by virtue of numbers, but like...

duo names: confusing fandom-injokes to describe duos and groups tend to be an anime fandom thing specifically for many historical reasons, but they're not uncommon. hey quick--if you haven't been in KHR fandom, can you guess what 1827 is? no? i'll give you a hint: that's actually a ship name. or, ygo fans, tell me the difference between puppyshipping, prideshipping, violetshipping, and rivalshipping. my hint is that they're all kaiba ships and two of them are actually the same ship. good luck!

reducing characters to a specific trait: have you read fic in another fandom before? i would recommend you go do so and come back to me. my example here is "sasuke likes tomatoes", for the record.

common au fanon that's confusing to outsiders: my deep cut here is "when i got into certain tv fandoms i was baffled by the existence of sentinel/guide fics", which is a slightly older tv fandom thing so many of you probably don't know what i'm on about. but trust me: in certain fandoms it's ubiquitous and unless you've watched a completely different tv show you're gonna have to entirely pick it up from reading fic. oh hey, hybrid aus and watcher!grian, nice to see your relative here,

fanon being treated as canon: did you know there's this whole bnha character, naomasa, who is treated as canonically having a lie detector quirk? did you know that, best i can tell, that's not in canon anywhere, it just got echoed through fanon enough that everyone treated it as canon? 'fanon trait becomes so ubiquitous everyone assumes it has to be there' is not a new thing. also, batfamily fans, i have been lead to understand the tim and coffee thing is also this.

characters being treated badly to make a different dynamic look better: the fact we have the term 'character bashing' tells you all you need to know, here. if anything my one complaint on this front isn't even that it's happening--it's that i wish bashing and/or "not [character] friendly" was tagged a little more frequently, haha.

characters being reduced to their family dynamics: tale as old as time. "even the family dynamic thing" yes even that. just because this fandom tended to be particularly ship-adverse in the past didn't mean it didn't do basically the same behaviors as any fandom with shipping did with those dynamics, just gen. and other gen fandoms also do that. yes, down to the "and shipping reduces them to a ship, unlike my gen dynamic, which is very in-character; why can't people just be friends?" thing. some of you have to have been marvel fans right.

characters being reduced to their ships: some of you have to have been marvel fans right.

The Discourse: yeah this is an "actively running show" fandom thing, but also a hiatus fandom thing. ask a homestuck about vriskourse sometime. as much as i hate to say it, it probably made doomsday discourse look cute.

and those are just like... some things i've seen people complain about on my dash recently. idk it just hit me there are probably fans in mcyt fandoms who are assuming that some things (like hybrid aus or duo names) are the kind of things that only happen here, so i thought i'd offer some examples of other places they happen! i also have even more examples if you'd like.

to be clear: this isn't shaming anyone for complaining about any of these things. lord knows i go complain to my friends about it all the time, just the other day i was complaining in the category of 'they keep bashing my guy'. it's more of just... a gentle reminder that maybe we're big, maybe we're loud, maybe we have problems... but these problems aren't always unique.

so uh. we're all suffering together i guess...?

#discourse #<- because. yeah. #this isn't meant to start a discourse this is more me laughing about Fandoms Is The Same #its also why i'm not bringing up the More Serious types of Fandoms Is The Same because i don't want to make light of it #and am instead bringing up the pettier ones #this sparked initially by someone acting like duo names are a this-fandom only phenomenon after years of being a ygo fan #and i was like. oh i've done this song and dance many a time. #and then i was thinking about posts complaining about things like fd and ships and everything else and i was like. oh that's an OLD song #so here. so we all remember sometimes that we all suffer together lol #this isn't a vague of anyone in particular i just constantly waver about making this specific post #anyway back to my usual discourse-free self

[goldensunset]

joining the war on autism on the side of the autism etc etc

#i’m never drawing again i swear (lie) (i enjoy suffering) #n harmonia #natural harmonia gropius #zekrom #pokémon #pokemon #pokemon black and white #pokémon black and white #pkmn bw #pokemon bw #my art #bw #AAHHHHGHGGGHGH blorbo. i’m very tired but like #i have to commemorate every game i play! #i would say i am this guy’s biggest fan but i’m like 13 (14?) years late to this party i know i’m not #i haven’t even put scratched the surface of blorboposting yet i’ve seen some wild and good stuff out there i gotta step up my game #hope this looks ok i was kinda rushing to get it done while it’s still february lol #(i have a self imposed rule that i have to draw at least one thing a month) #zekrom can be wildly too small to scale. as a treat. i needed it to fit in the frame LOL #i’m quite proud of this i think. we’ll see how tomorrow’s me feels! #usually i regret posting something immediately after finishing it esp when late at night but as i said i’m rushing lol #one of the first pokémon i’ve ever drawn and it’s a Complicated Legendary. goody #but like look at my boy n right #[edit: fixed a few minor issues]

[esaari]

🌸.

#oc #alek #hi i havent been around much lately #first piece of art in over a month so i am quite rusty #and i think i made alek a little too pretty here but i dont remember how to draw him.. or its just the hair that doesnt fit him #but continuing the tradition of drawing alek with my hairstyle so he must suffer #i havent had hair this long before and you sure do find your hairs *everywhere* and it is hateful #annnnyyway i hope u like im hoping to get more active w art but im also really enjoying viddy games as of late lols

[moeblob]

Me, too, Blade. Me. Too.

(I am taking donations to buy a gigantic $250 stuffed cheeseburger. It's giant. I want it. I will never obtain it. I saw it in a shop window and..... wow. Big.)

#honkai star rail #hsr blade #kafka #you guys this thing was fucking huge but i cant spend 250 on it lmao #also the way to tell i love characters or a game a lot is by if i draw them being stupid #i love blade so much hes so funny and suffering.... #do not actually give me money to buy a giant burger #i walk around and its so big and i am so small #i would have to actually drive my car just to put a giant stuffed burger in it #there is absolutely no way i can even hold this thing on the way home #i have in fact told my sister this very sadly before i found out the price this morning #i was lamenting last night over giant borger in window........ i want it....... #then i saw the price and was like WELP guess not lol #ill post art for a different fandom later hopefully but this was super important to me to draw #specifically with these characters #worst case scenario i fail my own self inflicted october challenge of a different series each day #but hsr gets two days worst case scenario which isnt bad #im so sorry to anyone who wants to look at mr blade in serious situations i am incapable of serious

[bjorngr]

Hug

#fanart #my art #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #itadori yuji #gojou satoru #jujutsu kaisen fanart #procreate #goyuu #help lol #i am miserable #then everyone must suffer with me

[koszmarnybudyn]

We miss you Hermie.

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #my art #hermie the unworthy #dndads spoilers #dndads s2 #hope you guys appreciate the more paintery style it took a while #still not a 100% happy with it but its fine #also i am on episode 235 of wtnv and that's crazy #its really crazy can't belive im catching up #its an addiction at this point lol #ah also hope the suffering is nice :) i sure do enjoy suffering>:)

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!! #my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her) #hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet. #i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!! #i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art. #i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

[teecupangel]

Random thing: I just wanna imagine that scene where Desmond gets hit by Bill and just the second that his fist connects Desmond’s mom appears ready to go mama bear on this jackass for punching her son.

Desmond has no idea what just happened.

One moment, he felt then the pain blossoming from his cheek, his feet staggering a few steps back, his mind reeling as his body reacted instinctively to weaken the blow he just received.

Then…

Shaun and Rebecca shout.

For a moment, he had thought they screamed because of what happened to him.

But that was impossible.

Their reaction was a second too late.

They did not expect Bill to hit him but they also didn’t believe they had any right to go between them.

His head was still ringing when he saw her slap Bill with enough force to topple him to the ground. She wasted no time, kicking him while he was down.

Their shout had been a warning of her appearance.

Her movements were meant for speed, not strength, but she had always used that to her advantage. She tried to teach him that.

She also taught him to fight dirty and always aim for the weak spot. And that was what she was doing.

Her first kick was aimed between his legs.

As was her second.

Her third.

On and on, she continued to focus her quick strikes between Bill’s legs.

It was the Assassins who came with her that tried to drag her away from Bill, begging her to stop and to calm down.

It took three of them to drag her away.

He recognized them.

They were from the Farm.

What were they doing here?

Desmond has no idea.

She didn’t bother to say anything, pulling away from their hold and walking away from Bill who remained on the ground, twitching as he coughed up saliva.

She walked towards Desmond and placed her hands on his neck, his hands warm.

“Desmond…”

When he was growing up, he had always found her to be cold and distant.

But reliving Altaïr’s memories…

He finally recognized the softness in her gaze. The way her tone would becomes a bit gentler.

She reminded him of the many Levantine Assassins Altaïr had seen, unable to show their love for their children under Al Mualim’s reign.

So he smiles even if his cheek ached.

“Hey, mom.”

(Desmond’s mom’s main combo is Altaïr’s bitch slap followed by nuts or nothing)

#the link takes you to a youtube clip of nuts or nothing #you wanted her to go mama bear mode #i am hit by the idea that yeah #altaïr would have definitely aimed for the balls given a chance #and this happens #william miles suffer lol #assassin's creed #desmond miles #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #ask and answer #desmond miles' mom #that's not really a tag #william miles

[trensu]

Have an itty bitty tiny piece of stasis in darkness, just so you all have an idea of where the story is going after the godly reveal. and also have proof that i am, in fact, still toiling away at this (as well as hawkins halfway house.)

A week and a half later, Steve entered a town he’d never seen before. He wore simple traveling clothes and carried no weapons aside from a couple of carefully hidden knives. He’d left his armor and shield behind. His satchel held only the essentials one needed for travel and a single stone as large as his fist. The stone was wrapped in layers of cloth to keep it safe during the journey. 

I need you to find someone. 

He felt very bare but he hadn’t been given much of a choice. Speed was of the essence for his quest, and little no-name towns tended to be wary of strangers in plain clothes, even more so around strangers decked out for battle. Steve wasn’t sure this place could be called a town. It was so small it hadn’t been on any official map. It didn’t even have an inn. Hopefully, Steve wouldn’t be needing an inn once he found who he was looking for.

He’s too far from me to reach.

He asked around, laying on the charm generously. He explained he had been a friend of a friend and had been trusted to deliver something. Eventually, he was told where to go. The house he found far beyond the village’s boundary was small. It looked like it had once been well cared for but it was old and had fallen to disrepair. Steve took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

A sallow old man opened the door. He was bald but had some scruff on his face still. His shoulders, stooped from age, trembled. His eyes were bloodshot. He looked so tired.

He’s my very last worshiper in all the world.

“Wayne Munson?” Steve asked.

“Who wants to know?” The man’s voice was phlegmy and rough. He coughed into the crook of his elbow almost before he could finish speaking. 

“I’m Steve. Ser Steve Harrington, pledged to the Lord of Night.”

Wayne’s eyes widened. His grip on the open door weakened and slipped. Steve caught the door before it could hit Wayne.

“He sent me to you,” Steve explained. “May I come in?”

yep, that's it for now. i told you it was small. i'm not even gonna bother with a read-more here.

#trensu tells stories #stasis in darkness #i technically have another 4.5k words written already #but it is very much still a rough draft #it's all clunky chunks of stone with all that i want to happen but has not been carved and smoothed out properly yet #also i have decided to include at least a couple of prayers #because i hate myself apparently and want to make myself suffer #a poet i am not #and i haven't stepped in a church or said prayers in literal decades #well #that's a lie #i did attend ONE mass in that time only because my mom asked me so she wouldn't have to go alone #the priest went off on the queers during his sermon and my mom never asked me to go with her again lol #so i remember none of the prayers #and even if i did #i learned all my prayers in spanish #i have no idea how they go in english #ughhhhhh why do i do these things to myself

[chuckyray]

the walten files fans try not to demonize people with addictions, understand these characters are meant to be complex, and learn to grasp the concept of nuance + remorse + grief and fear causing people to make poor choices challenge: impossible

#every time i open that tag i am faced with the most dogshit media literacy and bad faith interpretation of canon the world has ever seen #felix did not KILL the kids. his irresponsible actions lead to their deaths yes but you people talk about him as if #he broke their necks with his bare hands intentionally. he loved them. he was their uncle hed seen them grow up since they were born. #he was in such shock and grief he couldn't make rational choices. did you people not watch guilty or hear his agonizing screams in bunnyfarm #and to top it off people act like this wasnt an accident. how him being an alcoholic and dui causing this ACCIDENT is justification enough #to act as if he deserves to be treated like a murderer. i believe him living with that grief and suffering and losing everyone he ever had #is punishment enough lol. hes sick. hes mentally ill. and we dont even know anything else regarding how or if hes involved in shit #or how its all impacting him. you people just hate people with addictions. #so called progressive people when a mentally ill sick man makes poor choices because hes mentally ill and sick 😡😡😡😡 #anyway. rant over. #twf #the walten files #felix kranken