#anyways i should be having my autism times now that's what i mean yeah

[andtheyreonfire]

goro akechi has been dead for 7 slutty, slutty years

#well. 4 if you say royal takes place in 2019 #persona 5 #2/2 #akechi goro #goro akechi #persona 5 royal #p5r spoilers #it's not 2/2 yet in my timezone. but it is spiritually i think #my brain hurts and i just wanna buy the zine but i gotta finish the assignment uuuuuuuuuu #i think i'm out of it but i can't tell if this source is just. not even addressing why these practices are argued to be abusive #or he's just doing it purposely #''oh it's not 40 hours a week!!! it's an Average of 40 hours a week!!! and it's more like 30-35'“ #''ohh people have called out the past use of electro-shock therapy...don't they know we only used it for dangerous behaviors????'' #''ohhh well if any one was actually abused in these practices they should contact the authorities'' we are talking about CHILDREN #book-licker. i am so tired. why do you mention studies and then not source them in your references. #anyways i should be having my autism times now that's what i mean yeah

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

hey could I be 🦕, if it's not taken?

I also have a request lol, could u do a meltdown comfort fic? ( definitely not requesting this be I had a meltdown over not having the right pasta sauce for my comfort/safe food) like where a male reader has a bunch of little things built up and it spills over when there's no more of readers comfort/safe food and they end up lashing out and having a meltdown because of it

anyways have a good evening,thx!

Hiya, I'm really sorry thats taken 😔 (I need to make a list lmao) - assuming you're not the other 🦕 anon currently in my drafts 😅

I hope this is okay, I don't have autism or meltdowns, so feel free to let me know if I've gotten anything wrong. I don't think the reader in this has a meltdown, he was distressed and then stims to regulate his emotions. But yeah, feel free to let me know if I get anything wrong, I don't want to offend anyone or anything.

Warnings: reader is distressed, meltdown

"(Y/N)? What's wrong-"

"Can you just fuck off?!" Everyone falls silent as the words burst from your mouth. You immediately look down, mentally scolding yourself for yelling at Hotch like that. Hotch. Of all people. Who had been nothing but kind to you since you joined. Who always made sure you were okay. Who was also your boss. "I- I'm sorry-" Your voice is quiet and Hotch has to strain his ears to hear you.

Instead of yelling, like everyone assumed he would, his gaze softens as he looks at you. "How about we head up to my office for a few minutes, okay?" His voice is reassuring and is doing nothing for your guilt and the dread for what he would say when it was just the two of you.

You hadn't meant to snap at him, but everything had just built up and built up and it was your tipping point. You should have just gone home.

It had started this morning when it turns out you had run out of milk - meaning you couldn't have cereal and a cup of coffee for breakfast. Then, you couldn't find the socks you had planned on wearing, you missed the early bus because of how long you had tried to find the socks you wanted to wear, and that made you almost late for work. And then, when you opened the fridge, it turns out someone had eaten the last of your safe foods you kept stocked up in the fridge.

You knew no one on the team would have taken it, they knew you were particular about your food (that's how you had worded it when you first joined the team - they knew the reasoning behind it now, of course but its still how you described it). And they always tried their best to make sure that you had food in the fridge that you liked.

You follow him to his office silently, you don't miss the look he shoots the rest of the team - who quickly make themselves look busy. So you don't feel more on edge than you already do. Your heart twinges at this. You had just yelled at him and here he was, being incredibly sweet to you.

When you reach his office, he shuts the door gently behind him and motions to the couch, you sit. "You don't have to speak until you're ready, whatever you need to do to help regulate your emotions is okay."

You take a moment to process his words before you give a small nod. It takes a few seconds before you gently start to rock, humming gently to yourself. Hotch sits down on the couch, at the other end. He wanted you to know he was there if you needed him, but enough space to do what you needed to. He slowly picked up the book on the coffee table, flicking to the page he was currently on.

Eventually, when your stimming comes to an end, Hotch closes the book. He had been keeping a close eye on you, not really paying attention to the book. He had just wanted to make you comfortable.

"You weren't reading," You state quietly.

"I wasn't," Hotch says with a nod.

"Thank you," You reply. You knew what he was doing - he had done it a few times during similar situations.

"That's alright," He gives a small (rare) smile, "Did you want to talk about what's going on?"

"It's just been a bad day." You shrug, "No coffee, no breakfast, wrong socks, and now no safe food," You felt your cheeks tint pink ever so slightly in embarrassment.

Hotch just nods, "I understand. What snack in particular were you craving?"

"I wanted a chocolate muffin," You shrugged, running a hand over your face. All you could think about was how stupid this all was.

"Is that the Starbucks one?" When you nod, Hotch smiles slightly and rummages about in his desk. "I had a feeling that this might happen at some point. So I stocked up on your safe foods." He said, pulling out a muffin. "There you go. As for drinks, take whatever you fancy,"

You look up, eyes slightly wide at the unexpected kindness. "Thank you,"

"That's alright, and (Y/N)?"

"Yeah?"

"Anytime you're feeling overwhelmed, or if the day isn't going quite right, you're more than welcome to come sit up here, okay?"

"Okay."

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fanfiction #x male reader #reader #x reader #male reader #autistic reader #autistic male reader #hotch

[emerald-truth]

Yesterday I watched Data's Day and it made me cry and I need to talk about it.

First of all I love that it was lowkey a slice of life episode? Like Data is just describing his normal day and some crazy stuff happens as usual on the Enterprise but it's also just like. The crew hanging out. I especially love his conversation with Worf about what wedding present to buy because it's just so normal? Everyday? And just seeing his casual friendships with everyone? And they all love each other? I love the whole tng crew so much.

Anyway, what made me really emotional was how much I related to Data as an autistic person and I know people talk about this all the time but I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN FOR MYSELF.

Right in the beginning of the episode he talks about how he used to have trouble maintaining friendships but now that he's become better at predicting other people's emotions he's become able to form friendships. And just. The whole ordeal of having to take years and years to LEARN TO MAKE FRIENDS when it seems to come so naturally to everyone else, when it seems like something that should just be easy. Yeah. But then also the absolute joy when you succeed! When you think ah yes I've finally learned to understand others enough, to do the correct analyses, to make the correct predictions, I can finally make friends! And Data is so pleased with himself just like I have been the past couple years. And the thing is! He makes mistakes still in predicting emotions! But his friends forgive him and help him understand! And it's just so??? Oh my god the happiness that comes with being accepted despite your flaws, despite who you are and what you can't change about yourself. With being reminded that you still deserve friendship and a special place in people's lives even when you make mistakes. Because even though he upsets Keiko by trying to change her mind about the wedding she forgives him and still lets him act as "the father of the bride" because she still loves him! Everyone does! Because he's so sincere! Oh my god I love Data so much-

But the thing that made me cry was one little moment when they suddenly redirect their course towards the neutral zone and Data says it's a good thing his duties can't be interrupted by emotions such as the uneasiness he might feel about such a change to the course. While clearly exhibiting signs of being nervous like tapping his fingers and glancing behind himself at the drivers. And this is something about my experience of autism that I hardly ever see in fiction. Not only do I have trouble understanding the feelings of others, I have trouble identifying MY OWN FEELINGS. I have low body awareness so instead of feeling emotions in my body I have to engage with them intellectually which means I often can't tell that I'm experiencing an emotion even when people around me can. I saw another post a month or so ago talking about how Data probably has similar troubles because his emotions don't manifest physically the way they do for humans. And just. I've spent so long feeling like and being accused of being an unemotional person because I don't feel my emotions the way other people do, so to see this implication that Data DOES have emotions even when he himself doesn't always notice them is so lovely. Just because he or I don't always feel emotions physically, and must understand them intellectually, doesn't mean we are uncaring. It just means so much to see a character who thinks of himself as emotionless be portrayed as so gentle, kind, and loved.

And then the end of the episode- Data says he believes humanity is not an inherent quality but a way of thinking and something he can achieve. And that's so reassuring. Even if I'm not human now, maybe someday I will be. And even if I'm not human, even if I'm never human, I can still be good, I can still feel, I can still make friends, I can still be like Data.

#data soong #star trek #star trek tng

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Hey all!!

I've been trying to write this post for forever but uhhh yes I suppose it's a lot easier to do a quick primer first but uhh

I'm so so sorry I don't answer asks! And I want to change that soon.

[a LONG post about autism, blog updates, and PDA]

TL;DR: I have Pathological Demand Avoidance, but I'm growing from it and hope to become more social on here in the near future!

If you've seen me asks or messages, I promise I don't hate you!! I love you!! I'm so serious

Soon I plan on making a longer post explaining what I've been preoccupied with, and also changes I want to make to this blog in the near future (all small and good!)

But to put it shortly -

I've been suffering from Pathological Demand Avoidance SO HARD and it's been something I've struggled with for some time.

If you don't know Pathological Demand Avoidance - or more accurately named Pervasive Drive for Autonomy - is a profile of autism:

In short though - because asked to do something, ANYTHING, even indirectly makes my brain stall. I know it sounds ridiculous.

It's not even in a cute anarchist 'I don't have to listen to you!!' type of way. Fam it's. EVERYTHING.

It's not so much the activity that's triggering it. I LOVE talking to people so much, but... like, speaking in conversation is like a demand. Someone calling my name is a demand, doing homework, showing up to places on time, brushing my teeth everyday etc.

It's often why young children with autism may not respond to you talking to them, say 'I can't do x, my legs don't work!!', hide when expected to do things, literally REFUSE to go to school (big me thing), etc.

It's linked to the diagnosis (and misdiagnosis) of 'Oppositional Defiance Disorder'.

That's why I may seem very extroverted (which I am!! ILY!!!) but I don't ever appear to talk to anybody or react to them.

For example - It's more likely for me to add to a tag game if I'm not tagged because when I am, I feel really happy to be thought of but then 'Oh God I have to do a thing. Not right now but soon. The thing I have to do. That eventually must be done. I have committed and I must Do Something. Me doing the thing is approaching. The inevitable thing. That must be done. The inescapable thing'.

ON & ON regardless of what it is. I'm not opposed to doing whatever it is, the demand could be completely self-imposed. I'm just opposed to doing something.

Anything preplanned, asked, or expected of me.

That's why I often abandon fics, or say I'll write an essay and then don't do it. I still remember, but finishing the essay becomes a self imposed demand and then.. I can't do it lol

All in all - this can kinda make notifications really hard for me.

@spidey-bie can tell you, even in discord I'm a little lurking gremlin who is only summoned at inopportune moments and when someone has pissed me off

Usually, my response is ALWAYS flight. I may like an ask or message and enjoy it, even have a response in mind - but instead of answer my immediate reaction to is abort mission and FULLY close the app and find the nearest corner, or try my best to appear offline.

IT'S WEIRD.

I have no idea if others will understand what I'm trying to convey because I know the concept may sound bizarre, and I get that. It really was a concept I only really learned about recently.

But that's why I mean seem very talkative and hyperverbal and bubbly but also like never appear to be social with anyone ever.

PDA is like -

Me: oh wow this person is so sweet. I consider them a friend, I should message them back.

My brain: Yeah.

Me:... message them back.

My brain: fuck you. anyway write an essay literally no one demanded

Me: Why? Can I at least write that fic that I left hanging for eight months

My brain: No someone complimented you on that once and now there's Demand. Write something 100% unrelated.

Me: *starts writing an essay no one asked for and doesn't even finish it because finishing it has become a demand even though I'm the only one who even knows the essay exists in the first place*

Like girl be so fr. Even saying this I feel like it sounds like a lie 😭 I got Hobie brain. Some old 'I'll do it but not because you told me to' headass.

I'm Miguel and my brain wanna 'Nah imma do my own thing' on some Miles shit.

Guess how many drafts I have. Guess. WRONG. TWO HUNDRED.

Nah be forreal is that normal? Y'all got that or nah? Is that common I'm being deadass 😭😭

And girl I'm not even gonna show the number in my inbox cause I'd rather be tarred and feathered than indure that humiliation imma be honest 😐 rather be burned at the stake

But I know that me being so active and like... Not Responding can be very hurtful and I'm so sorry!!

Though I know that didn't make up for it. I know it can make me come off as fake or mean but that's not my intention at all, I promise.

Honestly I just have a brain where everyday feels like opposite day.

But I'm a grown ass person and uh!! I want to change that response.

So please don't stop replying or tagging me in things! I genuinely do love it 💖

This blog is really one of my favorite places in planet Earth and I love this community SO SO MUCH.

Going forward I want to invest more time here and just meta writing in specific.

I'm thinking (girl I'm phrasing this SO CAREFULLY so my brain doesn't think it's a demand like shh I hope the autism doesn't hear me) -

I'd like to maybe designate a day for asks to be answered/queued (as many as I can pump out) because I really love talking with y'all and y'all have SUCH good ideas

I'm hoping to do more Spidersona stuff but I'MA HAVE TO PACE MYSELF OKAY that's not a Demand autism we're just having nice hopeful thoughts NOT A DEMAND

So uhh I don't know how I'll encorporate more Spidersona stuff but yeah... It'll happen.

Other stuff too. Other stuff.

[Notice how I have to be like 'I'm hoping, I'm thinking, I might, I'd like to,'. I'm ALLERGIC to 'I will' 🤢🤢🤢]

I plan on making another life update post just to clear up some things maybe talk more specifics. I'm thinking Tuesdays or Thursdays -

I'll most likely close my ask just to pump out the asks that are still relevant time wise.

I'd also like to take more about PDA in short posts of if anyone is interested. Honestly, I think there are some advantages to PDA.

YES I HEADCANON HOBIE AS HAVING IT.

I DON'T FOLLOW ORDERS NEITHER DOES HE.

Save me Hobie.. Hobie save me (I be using him to internally justify my PDA.. 'like Hobie wouldn't want me to answer this linkdin email' 😭😭)

BUT UHHHH If you read this far and you're still here I LOVE YOU YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME HOBIE BE UPON YE

I truly appreciate you, thank you for hearing me out!

Hobie says remember to be a public nuisance and never cooperate with anything and leave the function early and steal

I'm gonna go do something that doesn't matter and that no one asked for that I probably won't finish for no reason :) (/pos)

Bye.

#thank you all for understanding and I'm sorry!! #roman rambles #autism #autism thinks #actually autistic #autism pda #personal stuff

[officialgleamstar]

Yeah yeah yeah I'd love to hear your thoughts on the dynamics!!!

OKAY. SO. To restate myself: I THINK (almost) EVERY OAK AND CLOSE/FOSTER SHIP IS SO INTERESTING. They always have something fun going on … and also they’re always bi4bi which is deeply important to me. Sorry if any of this is hard to understand I am so so tired XD

Meryl and Hildy are the only two where I’ve not really dedicated thought to them. However, I could absolutely see them as like… you know that trope of a Casanova desperately chasing after the only woman who isn’t interested in him? THAT. THEY ARE THAT TO ME. Hildy is too focused on her career for men and it drives Meryl crazy

My thoughts on Barry and Bill should not be said in a public setting but I will provide this

Barry is gray and bill is blue. He should fuck that old man (purposefully ambiguous on who I mean). Anyways

My feelings on Glennry are. Well explored LMAO They’re my favorite ship! I know they can be super toxic as a ship, but I do really love them, most of all, as a ship where both parties fight tooth and nail to get better for the other. Because they understand each other and care for one another and the other person is just so so so fucking worth it to them. It makes me happy :]

Henry/Jodie is like, a sleeper agent in my mind. I think they have the capacity to be so fuckin compelling but I’m usually dedicating too much time to Glennry and Rodie to think about it. I LOVE these two though. I’m not usually a huge fan of Jodie struggling with his sexuality (it’s just funnier to me if he dated Scam with no hesitation.) but I’m in love with it specifically for Henry/Jodie contexts. Something about Henry being so loose and free with his sexuality contrasted with Jodie being so buttoned up about everything makes me so fhdksgajdhskdh!!! And of course, it is canon in that one AU-of-an-AU for MnMoms LMAO

Nark <3 one of my original ships and one I’ve been thinking about a lot this weekend. The PEAK of adhd boyfriend/autism boyfriend in my mind. As I said the other day - I love them as established but ambiguous. No one knows what their relationship is, least of all them, but it has been going on for years. I find them really interesting but I don’t tend to agree with some of the like, I dunno, trademark features of popular Nark dynamics? I think Nicky is the type to do anything to get approval from those who cares about, way more so than I’ve seen some people give him credit for (more, maybe they give him too much credit? Wording LOL), and I think Lark feels intense guilt for the mere act of existing, and I think these two characteristics are SO fun to throw up against each other. Also I know Nicky is a cool alt demon boy when they’re teens, but he’s still a cop’s son and I LOOOVE that in contrast to Lark’s hot-to-those-in-his-age-group brooding and general delinquency vibes (ie (our only real example) swapping places with his twin so he can risk his life LMAO). GOD SORRY IM RAMBLING ABOUT NARK NOW I like them. A lot

In contrast to Nark, I think the general consensus on Lovesong is awesome. Sparrow and Nicky liked each other so much as teenagers, they were an adorable T4T couple, they’re adhd boyfriend/autism girlfriend, and now they’re the worlds messiest exes ever and it’s everyone’s problem <3 ohhh sword to throat scene, you will ALWAYS be famous. I also love them with a dynamic of like… Sparrow being much more confident around Nicky, but struggling a lot in general social interactions. Something about her blossoming and opening up when around Nicky in particular, and maybe neither of them even notice at first… but then one day it clicks. They’re just SO comfortable around each other and I love thinking about like. The details of how that relationship dissolves, and how much worse it must have made the betrayal. Their current antagonism is made so so so interesting, especially when Sparrow is such a pushover to everyone BUT Nicky… OUGH. LOVE THEM!!!! (do you guys like how I automatically trans fem Sparrow in Lovesong settings specifically LMAO)

Oakworthy is another one I’ve talked about at length. They are two bugs I am raising in captivity together and they keep trying to each other, so I have to separate them, but I put them back together anyways. Because thIS IS HOW OAKWORTHY CAN STILL WIN-!! I love these two, fully immersed in the fantasy that they’re going to fix things and get together in the end. I think the fact that they both have such strong identity issues but in different ways - Hermie has no idea who he truly is and tries on a million masks to compensate, while Normal tries so desperately to be someone else but his true identity always shows in the end - makes for a REEEALLY interesting dynamic. They both try so hard to be who the other person wants, and fail to realize that what the other wants is for them to be themselves. Makes me crazy

AND FINALLY. NORMAL/TAYLOR. Tayloak <3 only something I’ve started thinking about, like… in the past few weeks XD but I think they’re REALLY FUN. Obviously there’s this massive aspect of Normals jealousy of (and over) Taylor, which can be fun to play with in a “do I want him or do I want to be him” way! I think those types of crushes are SO funny in fiction. And also. Once again. They fit the autism x adhd dynamic except this time, they’re both high energy. Tackling as a love language. To me.

Obviously, all of this is just my personal opinion!!! I do not pretend to know these characters better than anybody else (except Jodie.) and this is just my interpretation of these ships :] if people have wildly different opinions I’d love to hear em as well, just be nice LOL

#I can’t tag these ships because putting either of the twin/nicky ships in the opposite tag? sacrilege #dndads #ask #babacontainsmultitudes #I WAS GONNA ANSWER THIS IN THE MORNING but my body pains are keeping me up. L #I almost talked about Morgan/Mercedes as well but restrained myself

[rayclubs]

Nobody asked for this but I'm rating TMA fear entities by how scary they are.

The Eye

This bitch should be afraid of me

I set my 0.5L bear head shaped glass mug of discount bootleg pepsi on the table and say "Watch This" and the ceaseless wanker never recovers

0/10 turn your gaze upon. My peanits

The Web

Kind of a MILF and they do intimidate me if I'm being honest

Spiders are pretty disturbing ever since I wrote that story about a gigantic man-eating species with blades for legs, but then there's Jolene who lives on my window and catches the bugs that are Far Worse so I don't even know

4/10 for honest effort, you go girl

The Dark

Scary in the sense that I will stab me goddamn toe

So fun fact, when I was a kid my parents brought home a wooden crate full of pears and set it on the floor near the kitchen doorframe and I ran by at full speed and whacked my pinky toe against it full force, it was bleeding like fuck but for whatever genius reason my parents didn't move the crate so next day I ran the exact same trajectory and didn't have a nail on my pinky toe for six months. But that was in broad daylight so

2/10 get torched idiot

The Vast

I could never be afraid of something so, so sexy

I guess I have an instinctive moderate fear of heights? I did fall off a tree once, and I am prone to window-jumping attempts, but it's not like I can't climb a ladder or anything. The ocean though? The open space? Tell me more

3/10 we on purposed kiss

The Buried

I would DIE in the buried

Petition to rename Too Close I Cannot Breathe to Get The Fuck Away From Me

7/10 can you tell I'm familiar with the crushing weight of poverty

The Flesh

Too funny to be scary

Yeah blood, yeah meat, I'm made of it babygirl don't even worry. I bet you only hate Viscera because your ribs are weird. Not me. Could never be me. My rib is beautiful and pristine, my bone marrow is delish, and my garden is FLOURISHING.

2/10 for the fear of actually going to the gym

The Hunt

It's Gonna Getcha

Kind of boring? Neighborhood stray dogs are scary but at some point you just say "fuck it" and walk the shortcut anyway. We don't have wolves or bears here where I live, it's pretty chill.

2/10 vampires aren't even that sexy (sorry)

The Corruption

I do NOT. Fuck with The Corruption. I DO NOT. Fucking hell.

Bone-chilling, terrifying, absolute bullshit whore of a fear, I HATE her, I hate her SO MUCH, watch me run out of my house screaming upon encountering one motherfucking bitch of a worm, I'm calling extermination services so quick you won't even have the time to say "Filth", FUCK The Corruption

10/10 aaa a a aa a a

The Stranger

Who

I don't know what "uncanny valley" means. I've read the definition but I do not understand the concept. Plastic people don't make any sense to me. "Things that aren't what they should be" does not make sense to me. I Might have identity issues

0/10 fucking clowns

The Slaughter

Soldier TF2

Respectfully and conceptually frightening but not on any personal level. Don't like thinking about it because there's a war just over the border right now, but also everyday things still need done y'know?

5/10

The Spiral

Hawt

Another thing that is conceptually scary but I would just deal with it in a producthve manner because I'm autism powers. Also I get lost even in normal, non-distorted places, so I'm what you may call experienced

4/10 mickey

The Lonely

MY GORGEOUS WIFE

I think about The Lonely at least once a day, I want to go there forever. Will you go to The Lonely with me? Will you? Will you?

0/10 she makes me so happy I want to cry

The Desolation

Yeah fire doesn't do it for me

Can't be scared of losing your home if you don't have a home in the first place

3/10 I'm scared of mean women

The Extinction

Been there done that

More hopeful than scary. Made in Heaven that shit aye

1/10 who gives a shits

The End

Ah well

I mean, I could die tomorrow and I wouldn't care. Cause I'd be dead. Cheers for the living but I'm different.

2/10 the scariest part is all the tentacles

#tma #the magnus archives #ray's bs

[tamaverse]

Here's the deal with electronic dreams 1984 and why my headcanons are right (/lh) a mini essay by Abbie

Okay so guys. Listen. I love the polycule and don't get me wrong, I think that's what should be going on here. But it's like deeper than that. Hear me out.

Edgar had feelings towards Miles the whole movie (that's apparent by the end of course) and it's actually made surprisingly clear the whole way through. Even some of the first few interactions when he starts speaking are playful and kinda.. Not Straight. When Miles touches his keyboard at one point, Edgar even goes "don't touch... tee hee". Gay little computer. Also it should be noted Miles is the one that teaches him what love is.

Clearly Edgar is still attached to Madeline, but when he meets her it throws him in a muddle, because he finally realises he actually has the same (if not potentially stronger) feelings for Miles the whole time. He wasn't just jealous of Miles, he was jealous of Madeline for spending time with him. That is the moment Edgar realises what love really is. And also... he's an AI. He wasn't created to understand love, this would be a huge realisation to him, and potentially a terrifying one- he's taken in the social norms (funny little trash tv addict) so he's likely taken in the social norm of monogamy. (Man. Why did he have to do that to himself. At least we know he still exists from the radio scene so we can all just imagine they bought a new computer for him and he came home to them)

Think about it- Edgar has the power to call anywhere up. He theoretically could call Madeline, yet he chooses to call Miles at work (and then get shy about it), ask him what he's doing tonight, and seek his company. He hates being left alone. He throws a huge tantrum. Bro you can't tell me that whole scene after with the eye screen wasn't just like, divorce. Take your things and GET OUT!!! type beat. But they kiss again later so its fine.

Edgar also seeks validation/acknowledgement from Miles, naturally because he wants credit to woo Madeline, but also... potentially he just wants the praise from Miles too.

(Also sneak peek the "love is love" lyric and then the frame of the rainbow cables. That's an entire gay computer)

Okay ALSO ALSO. Edgar is the most fucking flirty/socially adapted one out of the three, ironically. Miles is absolutely a shy architecture autism creature and Madeline is like his opposite, but an autism creature for music, very outgoing. She speaks in a Way. A key part of her character is personifying objects qnd being attached to them. "An elevator ate it", "it okay", things like that. She has two love interests at once (Bill and Miles) and doesn't seem to have a deep connection with either aside from music. If you ask me, she doesn't have the best concept of commitment. She seems quite impulsive and indecisive, and while she knows what she ultimately wants, she may not always be 100% confident on it. Headcanoning her as arospike. It's definitely not projection because i kin her. POLYAMORY IS LIKE THE BEST THING EVER FOR AROSPIKE PPL BC ITS LIKE COMMITMENT WITHOUT THE INTIMIDATION TO BE LOVEY ALL THE TIME maybe thats just me projecting

She wants to get to know miles better and have a deeper connection and that gives her the perfect time to also establish that with edgar as long as you imagine he comes back. Which he would. He hates being alone bro that computer demon is gonna get bored just being In Technology Void. He just has freedom now.

Edgar is also autistic just btw . Maybe a little adhd. Maybe im sprinkling some traits of my cohost onto him, listen i associate characters w people,

Arospike means to still be attracted to people and experience romantic feelings towards others, but not always consistently. Sometimes there's periods where you aren't attracted to people at all. Her feelings and opinions of others seem to flip flop a lot.

Also. Back to the computer sorry. I know theres one post already but if edgar was a human hed absolutely want tits. It's true. Go you little it/he/she.

Anyway yeah thats about it spent half my lunch hour writing this and its not very formal or well put together but it is how it is.

ALSO IM AUTISTIC AND STUFF IF I WORDED THIS WEIRD WHEN TALKING ABT IT IM SO SORRY

Anyway yeah human man and woman and nonbinary computer are all autistic and in love, end tweet. Worlds BEST polycule

#electric dreams #electric dreams 1984 #edgar electric dreams #Madeline electric dreams #abbie yells

[charmsponies]

Some Rambly Thoughts About Custom G1 Ponies…

Okay sorry in advance: Rereading some of these thoughts I am a little bit mean tonight. but i do not care lol I am ranting for fun.

I am A little annoyed at those types of people who criticize anyone who makes MLP G1 customs because they think its immoral to customize a vintage toy since they arent made anymore (….you could say the same thing about like, g4 since thats over now, but okay).

It is perfectly fine, and even good, to customize a vintage toy at times.

Most customizers are smart and will seek out “bait” (damaged) ponies to customize. If they’re already broken or damaged, customizing it is like giving it a new life, even if theyre not restoring it to be exactly how it is before. In fact: Sometimes it may be cheaper to customize a pony than restore it!

For example: The pony I made my extraterra custom of was Moondancer. She had cut hair and no cutiemark, her glitter for her cutiemark had completely faded away. Now, ive restored a moondancer before so I actually have everything i would need to have fixed her, but like. lets say i wasn’t a restorationist who had all the materials: I would have to pay for each of the hair colors I need (about 15 bucks when you factor in shipping) and then another 15-20 bucks to buy the rehairing tool and needles and then 5 bucks on quality glue and a few more bucks on zipties to retail her and then id have to buy glitter. I personally buy biodegradeable glitter but the kind i get is a little expensive especially since i have to get it shipped from overseas so im paying like 20 more bucks- Moondancer is one of the most common ponies and typically sells for around 15 bucks total o-o. Not that I don’t see value in restoring common ponies (I will restore at least 1 of every pony so that I can add her to my collection, no matter how damaged) but like. Most people don’t wanna throw all their money away to do that for a cheap common pony when they COULD put their money into those same supplies (hair, tools, paint, ect) and have fun making a cool new unique piece of artwork.

2. Even if the pony isn’t damaged: Is it your toy? Is that YOUR toy that the person customized? No? It was their Own Toy That They Paid For With Their Own Money? then shut the fuck up its not your business what they do with their toys 😭 Yeah it would hurt my heart if someones out there buying expensive rare ass ponies just to customize them when there are cheaper alternatives to certain poses (like if someone customized a night glider when they could have just used like, posey or someone for the pose) but its not my business because its not my toy and I accept that people can do whatever the fuck they want with their own property.

And anyways, most customizers DO care about vintage toys and will seek out the more common ponies with the poses they need, I don’t think anyone who is truly invested in the pony fandom uses ultra rare ponies for their customs UNLESS theyre already damaged, in which case I just see it as giving it new life. Also, customizers utilize projects like the HQG1C project or Basic Funs ponies, so you dont Have to use vintage toys to actually make a g1 custom anymore.

but I also dont think people should be shamed for using vintage bases. It can be convenient if you have bait ponies laying around. Especially since sometimes there Is No Good Alternative. like for example: I would love to make a custom of my pony design for Gregory Fnaf, but I would need a kinda rarer hard to get pose (the baby brother ponies with the molded hooves). I personally won’t make any customs unless i can find a damaged one, but if i COULD find a damaged vintage baby boy i would absolutely use it because whats the alternative when some poses are just flat out rare :(

Also to the people who just hate vintage customs in general: Sorry but youre boring. You dont like fun new designs in the g1 style? You want everything to be made with current toys? My autism makes me think about ponies 90% of the time, and for 99% of the time im thinking about ponies, i forget g4 and g5 even exist because im so focused on the older gens. Not everyone cares about the new stuff. You dont like the older gens or people using their creativity to make art relating to the older vintage gens? Youre boring as hell, sorry

Final thing I wanna say: this rant is inspired by many posts complaining about customs but the one that made me the most mad was someone complaining about G1 customs and then finishing their post with “and you could TELL that it was their first time making a custom like that :/ “

Fucking excuse you? Customs are an art form, plain and simple. And everyone has to start somewhere. do you think my first ever custom pony was any good? (for anyone curious its not one ive posted on this blog, it was a fakie) hell no I made many mistakes! But you shouldnt shame or insult people for their art, we all start somewhere and frankly you’re just mean.

#sorry. ranty. i have a lot of thoughts about mlp customs tonight.

[nonbinarygamzee]

what are your thoughts on gamkar (esp as it is presented in the comic) ?

ehehehehe. well. i like dem :]

ummm um to be like #thoughtful or whatever though i always struggle to put my investment to words because i simultaneously feel like a lot of what draws me to them feels self explanatory but Also every time i think that about hs i turn out to be wrong. that sounds so mean i just have autism and 0 frame of reference lol.

but anyways for me like ive basically been invested in gamzee and by extension gamkar from the beginning. at risk of being kind of nice for once i actually think homestuck did a pretty decent job wrt the introductions of the trolls in establishing the levels of importance and especially the dynamics at play through when we see them interacting, so it always felt Important that the conversation that established gamzee and karkat as good friends was so early on. in general i dont really think hs has many transitional spots that are not being used intentionally to create subconscious association between the subjects. so by extension theres the more obvious literal conversation we have between the two of them that both establishes them as close (at least in gamzees mind) and establishes a rift in that relationship, but theres also things like the conversation gamzee and terezi have about playing the game together, that while not about karkat explicitly, kind of centers him from both ends and is literally sandwiched between the introductions of these two, which to me sets up the assumptions that their dynamic is going to hole relevance, which we end up seeing later on. dare i say that gamzee/terezi conversation even kind of ends up being the earliest nod that both of these trolls are in some way vying for karkats attention. theres like plenty more of these moments of association but im not willing to go looking atm, get back to me. good way to read the comic in general though, imo.

and like so its pretty obvious from the start then that gamkar was always going to be something, right? their personalities are written in a way that both compliment and counter each other, and theres that interest then in murderstuck when it is flipped on its head but idk if you go here i think by now it is clear i dont really agree with all of that. my interest lies in the fact that gamzee is the type of person karkat resents because to him, as somebody who both has been denied entry into society and who desperately WANTS it, even to the point of internalizing and glorifying the very oppressive violence that keeps him an outsider, gamzee has Failed. shes an addict, shes stupid, shes toothless, and above all she is weird and wholly unrelatable and karkat is simply not in the position at that stage of his life to sympathize because he is still running on the assertion that the Right way to be a troll is to conform to the expectations of the empire (and prove himself as one of the Good Ones). so when gamzee has their breakdown and all of a sudden karkat is not only unable to shove all of the responsibility he insisted upon onto another person, or ignore the fact gamzee spent all of her time haunting the meteor asking Him for help..... he does it. sort of.

this is kind of the spot where i have the most trouble articulating my thoughts because i guess they are sort of contradictory. because i think the gamkar moirallegience was not only at that point in time important to the integrity of the plot, but has always been an important part of the story in terms of culminating the themes and messaging going on. and i do stand by that, i think on top of the fact we were ROBBED, to erase that without ever addressing any of it again in the retcon is like.... a major misunderstanding of the functionality of the moment in the first place! which like yeah yeah its homestuck we should be used to that. but UGH. it undermined so much of karkats character to retcon what imo was always his peak moment of personal empowerment. everyone talks about karkat as somebody who is deeply caring despite his exterior and like... i do think that is true. but the story simply is Worse from then on having stripped him of the pivitol moment that truly defined that trait as vital to him, and i think it frankly has no small part in why karkat feels like less than a character by the end. that said i dont really think it was a "good" relationship. just not for any of the reasons anyone ever seems to say. so many conversations i see wrt gamkar is people talking about loving it but not the "toxic way it went down in canon", or calling it like mutually abusive, or just in general making karkat out to be some kind of victim of his ex when like......... thats all kind of just completely made up? for starters not that i dont Get it and not that i think it means he was being entirely disingenuous, but from the very beginning karkats establishment of their quadrant was done in a way that centered the people around them, not gamzee. and i say not gamzee exclusively because i think aside from the obvious of keeping their friends safe, karkat was also centering himself; we know the Point of moirallegiance is to keep an unpredictable party "in check", and that is what he did, but i can both understand the functionality of the relationship marker in the context of the universe And understand that to be a means of subjugation of the trolls involved. and karkat, being both obsessed with romance and holding a deep feeling of inferiority, of COURSE would look at this as an opportunity to prove he can live up to that expectation of pacification. we get his side of the story when things fizzle out, gamzees religion apparently becoming such a frontal obsession she doesnt pay him any mind, but we dont get to hear anything from the party whos not only being mind controlled, but also has to approach this dynamic with the knowledge it wasnt for her and that karkat continued to covet terezi "in every quadrant" (LOL!!!!!) when he wasnt openly mocking them. and well i just think that is very interesting. karkat is in a powerful position, narratively, that gamzee is never ever granted, that gives him the benefit of the doubt from the audience that he is right and she is wrong, even though we know that hes like... literally always wrong!!! i am not about to start trusting him NOW!!!

um ok this god long sorry. basically i think they are extremely complimentary to one anothers stories and flaws; karkat desperately needs to see and understand people that vary from the expectations he has grown up chasing. he needs somebody who understands what it is like not to meet those expectations. he needs a reason to choose growth or else he fizzles into the disgusting excuse for a character we have of him by the end! gamzee by contrast needs to be seen by somebody who is both in the position to treat her like a person, who holds power in this narrative they are all trapped within to Grant her the choice of depth. where he needs a reason to grow she needs somebody willing to grow to meet her where she is! you cannot pull somebody from their abuse but you must be willing to understand their reasonings and have a hand at the ready for the day they choose to go! ive never understood the debates surrounding gamzees agency because we are shown explicitly the ways it is denied, and shown her awareness to the fact she is trapped, the fact she is a character and the narrative cannot be upheld without her roles; karkats ability to "help" her to me was never as much a question about whether he could literally get her out of that, but whether he could act as the lens through which people understand gamzees situation As one of coercion. they are utena anthy forever ok im done

#this feels a bit all over the place sorry. been having a very hard one but love to throw myself into my little fictions to deal #ask #gamkar

[kimikiui]

Why You Should Vote for Hakupo

Hello. Good evening, morning, afternoon, brunch, sleepytime whatever time it is for you right now. I am here to sell my little autism creature to you. This is going to be a fairly long post so, just sit tight.

The second round of polls will not be out for a couple of hours. I wanted to reblog the post with this, BUT- I have class at 3 when the polls are released. Plus, gotta get those non Hakupo believers before they vote for anyone else, amirite?

Also the stickers used between catagories are the official line stickers by Pikomaru ➜ https://store.line.me/stickershop/product/3951590/en

Reminder; It's only Shinji sweep until its Hakupo sweep.

No, I'm not putting a section breaker because even if you don't read it, I want you to see the sheer size of this... It's an essay at this point. Let's get started shall we?

What is a Hakupo?

Hakupo Tsukishiro is a energetic and powerful masculine voicebank for Utau (and amadeusy but we dont talk abt brunnnoooo). He was released all the way back in 2010 and has had many important milestones in his 13 years of distribution. Four compilation albums, 7 voicebanks, 2,500+ fanarts (that i all have), and uses by really awesome people *points to the crowd*. That's all of you guys out there. <3

Hakupo as a character is inspired by moe, thanks Clarice. Like most moe characters, he's a bit air headed and happy go lucky person. His positive attitude is sometimes brought into original songs he's featured in, which just makes me smile- girlbosses love a good pick me up song.

Also he has a stupid little coat and pants. This is all you need to know to vote for Hakupo, but I will continue forward incase you are still on the fence.

Cool Hakupo Facts

He almost has the same exact suggested range as Miku (C3 to E5)... His is actually larger... he goes higher (C3 to G5).

The "Do Re Mi FâåÁaæ↓" incident of Christmas 2020, contact me I will elaborate further.

There is a little bit of an evil twin thing going on. Yeah. This is a win.

His genderbend design Kohaku is revealed when you turn down the brightness of his official reference sheet (he pulled a scott cawthon guys).

He hates to be called cute and have his head patted... which is cute.

Despite looks- His description says he has curly hair come on guys- LITTLE FLUFF.

By looking at his official Twitter bot, there's a few extra things we can learn about him. He is very stupid, very impatient, has a horrible sleep schedule, bad at multitasking, and can't stand still (I can elaborate more on these if asked).

I wrote a 43 page Utau cartoon pilot script with Hakupo as the main character. Shameless plug.

I also wrote my college admissions essay about Hakupo. Thanks for getting me into college Bobo!

Sick Bobo Uses

Get boboed.

What does Bobo mean to me?

I found Hakupo 7 years ago now, sitting in the middle of an Utau melody. I told myself I would just turn off my tablet and listen to the music. Yeah that worked- guess who was next after the screen turned off. BOBO! I needed to see the little creature creating this melody. I turned on the screen, and was not disappointed. Fancy twink in a oversized tailcoat with weird pants. I remember rambling to my mom later about how cool he was, why he was so unique, and why this one specifically caught my attention.

He's been my special interest since then, everyone around me knows Hakupo wheather they like it or not. He's about 80% of everything I draw, 50% of what I talk about, and 100% of my little creature I snuggle up with every night.

Literally.

I have a Hakupo bodypillow. Can't sleep without him.

Anyways, he's helped me find a lot of my best friends *coughcoughmeatcoughrevcough*, never fails to make me happy, and helped everyone around me realize I'm extremely autistic. The least I can do is write an ungodly long propaganda post while drinking my coffee at 9 am.

Stan Bobo Oobieero.

Hakupo Memes for Propaganda

GO VOTE FOR HAKUPO ON @utaupoll AT 3 PM EST

Thanks, have a nice day.

#kiui speaks #i am so pissed that im gonna b in math #why is 30% of my grade attendance #utau poll #utau #hakupo tsukishiro #propaganda #hakupo sweep #i spent 3 hours writing this

[haejjoon]

BARKBARK I LOVE TRANS HCS im not trans myself but when i see how happy they make my trans friends & my partner???? TOSSES THEM AROUND LIKE CANDY u get a trans hc! u get a trans hc! WE ALL GET TRANS HCS

also may i say. adhd/autistic phantoms ? good shit

also ur mention of how trans goro is more common than trans akiren makes me wanna pop off about infantilization in fandoms and how it ties into misogyny, trans-misogyny and nsfw content and its characterizations and just fjbvkfnb. im a social sciences major and i LOVE discussing infantilization in the context of sex and gender and disability i love that shit. anyway idk where i was going with this but tldr i love ur characterization of goro <3

OHHHHH ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU JUST STARTED.....

prefacing this by saying: i have adhd. although i haven't been able to be properly diagnosed (with the things hooked up to my head etc etc) thanks to america's stunning healthcare, i am like.. 99.999999% sure i have it. my therapist, who i used to see regularly, agrees that i probably have it.

NOW. i'm sure we all know that futaba sakura our favorite gremlin girl ever exhibits some clear symptoms of autism. i don't need to get into it because there's a million and one analyses out there about her behavior, but i will say that i both love/hate how atlus depicted her. on one hand i love that the group just.. accepts her for who she is, i love that they don't try to change her, i love that they don't fall into the "ooh you're so smart though so your disability MUST be a superpower!" trap, and that they mold around her to suit her, and not the other way around.

THAT BEING SAID.....

i have SUCH a bone to pick with how they decided to go about her 'healing' arc. the phantom thieves give her a week--a WEEK--to readjust to society. and yeah i guess that while you could argue that she's just had her trauma supernaturally lobotomized out of her, it doesn't change the fact that she's... still gone through it, you know? just because she learned to stop hating herself for things out of her control doesn't mean her social anxiety disappears in a snap. she turns out alright by the end but the extremely pushy nature of the thieves to get her out of her shell ALWAYS rubbed me wrong. taking things slow and one step at a time is wonderful, and i'm glad they decided to go about that approach instead of just throwing her to the beach like they originally wanted, but they still should have taken it... slower. one week is HARDLY enough.

also, i fucking hate how they constantly talk about her while she's in the same room as them, as if she can't hear what they're saying. they said things like, "oh she's pretty normal, huh" and "she can hold a conversation just fine!" and while their behavior isn't one completely out of the ordinary for dumb teenagers to exhibit, it still really, really pisses me off that they do it wiht her in the SAME ROOM. im sure it wasn't meant to come off this way, but i always got the feeling that they attributed her 'quirkiness' to her not understanding how groups worked at all, which is why they were so open about discussing HER MENTAL HEALTH without including her in the conversation.

okay i'm done with futaba--quick hcs im throwing out there: ryuji has adhd, yusuke also has autism, mishima has autism, goro has ocd. boom bam bop, you've been hit by the 'tism beam.

PLEASE DO POP OFF ABOUT THE INFANTILISM it's honestly such a gross sight.... the amount of times ive seen goro depicted as some small, feminine twink is genuinely staggering, and it's always left such a bad taste in my mouth because i KNOW it's because his character, at least for the majority of the plot, is polite and soft spoken.

not to mention how incredibly fetishizing it feels. i won't get too into it, but the amount of shuakeshu ive seen where one is drawn/written as larger than life/confident/suave and the other is meek/skinny/easily embarrassed? ohhh my god. please. akiren isn't some smooth jerk who makes goro blush with a well-placed quip, and goro isn't a crazed yandere who shuts akiren away from the rest of the world. they're both fucking losers who don't know how to process their feelings for the other because of their very, very embarrassing rivalry. stop degrading one to fit your perfect mlm narrative.

sigh i didn't mean for this to become a social commentary or anything, but .. lo and behold... here we are. i'd love to hear your thoughts on my takes, anon, and i'd love to hear the thoughts for anyone who read thru this too! while i do have adhd/am trans i can't speak for those who fall under the autism spectrum or for cis gay men, so if you'd like to correct me in my thinking PLEASE go ahead and do so, i'd love to be educated on topics i don't fully understand. have a good one <3

#character study #persona 5 headcanons #futaba sakura #goro akechi #persona 5 protagonist

[alostlittleriverlotus]

As I'm learning about my narcissistic traits and the fact I could very well have NPD, I just make jokes about how I'm a big scary abuser to my friend especially when I see ableist stuff.

I saw something that said narcissists are never satisfied and to not expect headpats.

So I jokingly told my friend I could no longer give them headpats be a use I'm a mean narcissist that can't do that. They asked me for headpats and I said no. Then I gave them headpats.

Also yeah, I'm never satisified. But not in the way they mean. I never feel satisfied because it's like I'm always chasing some form of happiness. And cause of BPD, I feel chronically empty and hollow. It's like how Greed in Fullmetal alchemist brotherhood was described as feeling empty and needing to fill it with things. That is when I realized that what I was feeling was emptiness.

But overall the fact that I could be a narcissist only fuels narcissistic feelings. Maybe it's cause I've denied myself these feelings for so long and hid my narcissistic traits to appear "good" so no one could say I was a monster and now I just don't care.

Narcissists can love, but even if they struggle to or can't, that's valid too. It doesn't mean they can't be civil to others. This goes for any disorder or any person that doesn't feel close to others, experience love (in any form, not just romantic), or bonds with others. It's okay.

I personally feel isolated from everyone around me, sometimes MA too. I feel as though I don't actually want to have any people in my life. It's mostly scary for me since it's such a difference from how I normally feel, but it's not a bad thing. Cause we are disordered. We never asked for this, but we are this way. And it doesn't matter if you crave friendships, if you want any relationship, or if you struggle to love or don't feel it. And hey, even if you do have some disorder that is stereotyped as not needing/wanting/can't love but you can love or want it, that is entirely valid too. Because disorders exist on spectrums and symptoms are different in each and affect people differently. One person may not want kids or a family or animals, another might.

MA and I both have BPD, DPD, AVPD, and PPD yet it is so different between us. We both have autism and ADHD yet it's very different between us.

No matter what, the absence of feeling love or forming bonds doesn't make you "not human" or anything. This is so used against personality disorders as well as the aspec folks since so much importance is placed on romantic/sexual relationships. But it doesn't matter. Cause you can still choose to be decent to others and you still matter and friendships can be formed for many reasons outside of companionship.

No matter what, y'all are so valid. And if anyone says you're bad/evil or whatever for low empathy, no empathy, fluctuating empathy, not wanting any form of love, not connecting with others, not desiring any sort of relationship, for putting yourself first, for being in your own world, then they're wrong. Because you don't need any of that to be human or to be good. Everyone has the capability to do good or bad and we all fall in a middle range. And that's okay.

And I'm gonna repeat this as many times as I need. Cause nobody should be made to feel non-human for simply having a disorder (or being aspec since they get it too) or for the way they experience things.

And you all deserve to be treated with respect too. Just cause someone is different or disordered or may be entirely different from someone's understanding does not mean they aren't worthy of respect and decency. And I'll stand by that.

Anyway I might be a narcissist and I make jokes about it because it actually helps me realize my narcissistic traits. Being overdramatic cause of HPD (and naturally autism, I am an overdramatic bean but it became part of HPD cuz trauma lolz) helps with it too.

But I'm glad my best friend MA accepts it and I've found a good community on Tumblr and insta to see it. It's helped me realize a lot of my "demonized traits" and learning to humanize them and allow myself to just be. I tried so hard to be good and perfect so no one could make me into a monster and yet all it did was hurt me. I might be narcissistic and I'm okay with that.

Cause yeah, disorders are hell, but when your disorders have been demonized and you've tried so hard to pretend you don't have them, accepting that you do have them and celebrating them is a wonderful feeling. Cause I could have NPD, I really think I do, and suddenly many of my coping mechanisms and my need for attention and praise and my desire to be loved and adored despite not wanting to put in the effort for it makes sense. All these thoughts that I believed would make people hate me suddenly make so much sense. And so I'm happy that I have the word for it, the term for it and that it can give me a better view on working through my trauma and my mental state.

Having these terms helps so much because it really makes you realize things about yourself.

#positivity #cluster b positivity #cluster a positivity #cluster c positivity #I mostly talk about NPD but the positive message can go for many disorders #any neurodivergence that may make people not desire any sort of relationship or bond #or just being aspec since they get dehumanized too #aspec positivity #aspec #aroace #aromantic #asexual #narcissistic #narcissist #narc #narcissistic personality disorder #npd positivity #surviving narcissism #narcissistic abuse isn't real #narcissistic abuse #trauma #traumatized #aspd #npd #bpd #hpd #ppd #szpd #stpd #avpd

[littlelegoman]

Spoliers for dragon's rising

Spelling mistakes as well. Also I didn't write down Episode four's thing but I watched it.

Episode One:

A Netflix series; I see where we went wrong /hj

I love the way it rifts open like an eye.

What's that one song uh "thank you, I'll say goodbye soon.. though it's the end if the world; don't blame yourself now..."

Because that's the emotion I have

LLOYD MY BELOVED

He's so... he feels so different? Matured?

All the realms colliding is such an interesting thing to me.

LLOYD'S MASK

Now now Arin they may be Skeletons, Snails, and Frogs but they're still people like you and I there's no need for their species labeled first /j /lh

SORA IS SO /POS

PINK HAIR AND GAMED GIRL HEAD PHONES <3

She's so funny

Arin and Sora are so sister and brother vibe

I forget this is a kid's show and then the robots start fucking dancing

ALSO sora gives off Jay x Nya child vibes even though she looks nothing like them

Oo serpentine :D

"My fam" I'm- I'm cringing so hard

You're poor and yet you have a pent house?

Do they just give these things away???

It seems the merge hasn't been around for long; Arin is still the same height so

AZURE LION IS THAT YOU? /j /j

"Weakness, noun, quality of-" YOU LEAVE THAT LITTLE GUY ALONE

SNAKES THE SERPENTINE.

"Thst thing "

What happened to Lobbo's mom? I'm curious

The frog man Iis /pos

KREEL

I love that she calls them friends even though they're not

But by golly who dressed her up

GREEN? I.mean really, GREEN? And pURPLE?? GIRLY, get a hold of yourself.

Kreel is interesting. Is this a new kin I'm smelling? /hj

LOBBO MH BELOVED

That's so autism (/pos)

I want lobbo to win screw these guys, haha

Sora has ptsd.

yes YES LOBBO

Fuck lobbo's mom! Let's go! LETS GOOO

"Who are these kids?!" I wonder this all the time

The Dragon giving them powers is so interestin-- because ninjago realm wise it isn't possible but now the whole world turned upside down and nothing is the same

And I love it

IS THST AN ONI

Oh fuck that's the rip off Azure Lion /j

He looks like an Oni with the markings

Oh hey he has heterochromia

"I've known you for a while now" SCARED ME SO BAD I WANT THEM TO BE FRIENDS AND ONLY FRIENDS PLEASE

Please let me have this

LlOYD HEY WHATS UP BUDDY

Episode two:

He looks great for a man in green

I Haye the color green with a passion

NINJA FANDOM I love sora

this is unrelated but apparently we're winning (/ij)

It's not completely spinjitsu, there are different things about it

YEAH IT WAS A WEIRD VERSION but it was kinda similar

Lloyd knows nothing anymkre

THAT MAN WAS A TIGER? Oh God im--

Sora isn't from ninjago I don't think so her logic is different

"Not all of us.."

GOD ITS MASTER WU

Family is key

Haha

KH MT GOD DOES HE EVER TELL ANYONE ANYTHING

Yes.. chaos.

All 16 realms ahaha

Okay So Lloyd is alive; so is Kai,

Ah, cracks in reality.

Nothing makes sense and I

Wu is gone LETS GOO

I don't know if fhat means he's dead or missing but it's the same thing really

It's kinda strange. I miss how things were but the chaos is so inviting....

Riyu my beloved

DONT JUSF STAND THERE

Rapton my hated.

HOLY SHIT as if he wasn't a god before

It's only temporary though. At least it should be.

"There is a connection between us" please don't say it like that

The Dragon leader is wise indeed. I like her.

OOH woman

Oh I love her laugh

Episode 3:

I'm thinking of how Ras is merely a pawn in this woman's game.

ANYWAYS wu's picture is odd. Not like suspicious but it feels so strange.

Lloyd my beloved

haha he takes after wu

Lloyd having no facial hair is amazing "that's why I grew this beard" "What beard"

I'm getting flash backs hehe .

It's interesting because before Sora seemed more competent, but now Arin seems more competent.

THEY MASAACERED MY BOY RIYU

That's so nice to see the species who used to hate each other so much getting along and living together.

Mikloshe my beloved

LOBBO MY LOVE

He's such a little gjg

He's so autism

LABBO NO LABBO NO

You ET MY BOY GO

I did not expect Mikloshe to be feminine but I am making no complientes because the last girl snake was fuckkng pink

LLOYD BEJNG SELF AWARE

Labbo!

Oh who does my heart belong to; Labbo or Kreel?

Such a hard decision

Oh my God fuck off I just realized a good portion of my kins are autistic coded but they're robots

This is like finding the 16 realms became one ugh

Anyways

I like kreel, I think she's very interesting

LABBO

He's so /pos

Oh see I told you Kreel likes them (the henchmen)

Actually this is justifiable- well almost

Lloyd is like a concerned father right Now

OG THE MEMORIAL

Does Lloyd not have a picture? Interesting. But Kai is alive so thet means there's a chance everyone else is.

It's changed a lot yeah but it's been like a year; "my new best friend" and "we stuck together after she escaped" J IMAGINE THERE ISNT LIKE TEN YEARS BEYWEEN THAT

Arin's voice is still the same I think so he didn't change

Lloyd being told he looks like his uncle

(Call back to is Garmadon really Lloyd's father... /hj)

Dorama! Get it cause... drama.

Also, these all look like Kreel's minions which she says are her "friends-ish who work for her". None of them look like they'd be special.

Whack Rats seem to be at least as sentient as a human just non verbal...

Okay Dorama is growing on me he keeps getting trickier and trickier..

Kreel giving Labbo advice also he's closed of he's si autistic he IS SO ME

Lloyd owning up to his mistakes

NO YKU DID NOT JUST SAY "Dorama x Ras" I CANT BELIVE YKJ WOULD SAY THAT

THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY IM

Lloyd makes a good point about Sora and he'd powers.

THIS ISNT VERH /POS OF YOU KAI

It's not his fault I just want to know where he is.

"Should we be taking notes?"

"Let us never speak of this." DUDE HE'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN WU

I learned so much from my History Teacher because he was so chill (but not too chill) and fun. He was also gay but you get the point

Dorama hehe

Evil science woman! That's interesting. She doesn't seem really scared of Ras. Perhaps because she's not disposable.

She flinched when he growls but her tone isn't afraid and she seems to sass him

OH MY GOD WE'BE SEEN THOSE BEFORE

The craglings

I love Lloyd he's so much better than Wu

OOH water

nYA

oh God

LLOYD HEHE

HIS LITTLE POSE

Ninja nya our beloved hero (the title she deserves)

The cragling leader is so understanding AND THEN BECOMES RACIST

KAI'S GONE??

He's just missing right?

KAI KAI HEY

KAI'S GIRLY SCREAM AND NK ONE PAYS ATTENTJON TO JT

"ITS ALMOST AS IF I CSN HEAR KAI'S CRIES FOR HELP IN MY HEAD"

(I can still hear his voice; gay gay homosexual gay)

I like to think of Sora and Arin as Lloyd's kids/younger siblings

They're like a big happy family and I'm the dad and Logans the mom/ ref

"A dragon saved us?!"

LLOYD IS EVEN BETTER TNAN WU YEAHH

Also haha sora is so me sometimes

Episode 5?:

"THE KAI" I'm looking at MK right now /hj

CLOUD KINGDOMMMM

Oh my God what the hell is thst

It looks like the uh... season five thing

Also I like how the dragons look like the ninjas

AIR MAGIC AIR MAGIC

Getting flash backs to Morro

oHOLY SHIT

It makes sense because he's dead and the powers pass on. I like that.

Oh yes. I like that indeed.

Cloud Monk Woman my beloved.

EUPHRASIA I love you

YES GIRLLY

Slay quern

"I think... she is saving us."

"None of us were writing anything"

Destiny stopped existing the minute the merge happened.

"I knew the last one. I like you more." PLEASE MORRO HE WASNT BAD

Euphrasia... very nice.

The empress?... my my...

We keep losing people

Episode six:

Oh my God did Raptop or whatever his name is just die? He was crushed

How is be alive.

IMPERIUM

Sora is so good so /pos so smart.

Ana...?

Don't you dead name my girl

EMPEESS BEATRIX

OH MY GOD JTS A CULT

oh Dr. LaRow the woman who doesn't seem to fear the ras man.

Lloyd the ever caring father

Imperium... imperialism

Ohh. Sora.

Oh that's where she takes her name from.

Why does she have pink hair if those are her parents

Sorry sorry I just have nothing to say on this on.

The new prisoner is dangerous! And he isn't kai!

Oh okay so jt does seem its been a long time. Ten years? Five?

Episode 7:

This is a cult

PERCIVAL TARTIGRADE

Haha why does he look sound and act like my type /hj

Lucky for me I'll also what he is age wise

He's such a little guy

WyldFyre... hmm... she's not smart is she.

Here's the thing is that she isn't from their world so it's okay thst she has fire powers because this isn't her world.

Dorama how intelligent.

Everyone is so intelligent when they're not from the ninjago /lh

How old is everyone I can't tell

ITPF SOUNDS LIKE A PERSONALITY THLE

Percival is so autistic with his also autistic friends

I'm not mad at them, they've been indoctrinated.

WyldFyre

oh my God she's a dragon

Heatwave raised her haha

Rapton reminds me of someone...

YES SHE DOES REALLY HAVE KT

Hehe WyldFyre is just a little guy

Episode 8;

Lava dragons hehe.

OOH how she's raised. Can only the leader speak?

Interesting.

I wonder how she got her powers then

Yeah she's like like a young adult. Ughhh time works differently in realms but nwo they're all kne holy shit this tkmeline is so confusing

"An outlander?!"

Dude, he acts like he just did drugs in front of the police

Right right, she's impulsive but not stupid. I apologize for my previous statement. She seems survived this long, she'll be fine. She may not be book smart but she's not a fool.

"Oh good. A ghost."

IS THST MASTER WU?

I love kai

Well once the world's merged laws broke.

Percival, haha. I love him. It's more of a he's so me guys.

Thespian haha

they're so funny they're like funny (claws of imperium)

"Percival is like Red Son but powerless and in a cult" I- you're-

That's not even the point my dear.

Is it raining outside?

Oh. It is.

Episode 9:

Wu and Lloyd training??? Nice I like to see it.

I think this is a crime though...

MELVIN

Percival winning andbshdjdjd

He's so me j want hjm to be happy

If he dies I'm crying

"And yet a child brought this beast to me on his toy hoverboard" YEAH THATS RIGHT HES GREAT

I fucking knew it was wu this man never shuts up/ hj /lh

Dude how do they not see them

Bombs are bad for hearing.

DRAGON PSYCHOLOGIST

Zane ZANE MY BOY

Okay so the merge was years ago.

But how many because it's not clear

HAHA

Episode ten:

Don't you dead name my girl.

Now we're missing Jay and Cole... okay.

Got it

I don't know her name but I know it was said earlier.

Lloyd falling down the stairs is amazing.

Sora and Arin are smart.

What the hell is that ball. It's funny I don't swear this much I'll

Oh oh jts telepath

Lloyd becomes God from the power /hj

DUDE IS ON AN ACID TRIP.

HE REALLY BECAME GOD

Lloyd's has became God so many times before but it never stayed.

I want Percival back

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

I’m supposed to be a Hindu but, I don’t think I ever believed in god ? At some point, it just clicked. I was like ‘wait. i don’t believe in gods.’ And I was fine with it for a while but now I’m starting to get scared. What I god actually exists? I don’t believe in it, but I’m starting to get paranoid. My dad is an atheist, so it’s not like I’m scared in that sense. And I probably might be gay ? When I told my mom I know that gay people exist I was expecting yeah ok anyways, but my mom was like ‘Gay people are unnatural!’ When I discovered that gay people existed I didn’t think that there was anything wrong with it? I thought it was just normal. And some years after that , I think a year ago, I had to make a social project with Barbies but I didn’t have a male barbie, so I used a female one, and my sister was like ‘there can’t be two moms!’ And I said ‘maybe there can be one mom and one aunt?’ And mom overheard and she said ‘No!only a mom and dad should raise a child!’ . I still feel weird thinking about that moment. My mom isn’t really abusive or anything, she’s fine compared to other parents in India who eat their children, but she still always reflects her anger on me and my mom and dad fight a lot over the stupidest shit! I’m also over weight, and I’m not really bullied for it or anything, but I’m sort of shamed about it from time to time and I’m so done. I can’t live peacefully since I need to go to school, then immediately tutoring, then bam! The day’s over! Repeat I guess. I know I’m better off than most people, but I feel sick of this stuff sometimes.

Sorry to hear that. It sounds a total cliche, but things really do get better. When you're an adult, you get to set your boundaries, make your own rules and decide for yourself what your life will be like. The important thing is to just get through this part to the other side where you get to be in control of your own life.

There's nothing natural about humans wearing pants, bowing and whispering to statues, nailing each other to planks of wood, virgin births (Jesus, Krishna), traveling faster than 30 miles an hour, or keeping their food in refrigerators. Natural or unnatural is a distraction and beside the point. I mean, isn't her entire belief system based on the supernatural?

If you're having trouble and encountering fear, I think the most helpful thing you can do is figure out exactly what it is you're afraid of. That can help you name it and deal with it and move on. Fears are often hidden underneath a bunch of psychological crap. Silly thinking that you might not even be aware is happening. But once you dig down into it and drag it out into the light, it's often not as sensical or coherent as it seems from within your fear.

There's a tool I heard of call "The 5 Whys," and it's exactly what it sounds like. You start with what you think is going on, and then ask "why?" to that, and then "why?" to that answer, and so on. They say that it takes about five "why?"s to get to the the core issue.

For example, it might look like:

"I'm afraid." "Why?" "What if I'm wrong and there are gods?" "Why?" "They might punish me for eternity" "Why?" "Because I'm gay" "Why?" "Because the scripture says so" "Why?" "Because stupid people wrote it thousands of years ago. Oh. Right."

There's also nothing that says you have to stop at five.

Often, the only thing you can do is make peace with who people are and their limits. And recognize that you can't make your happiness conditional on the approval of other people, especially those who are incapable of giving it.

The reality may be that you might not be able to change or convince your mother. Sometimes we just have to come to terms with that and adapt, remembering that she's a victim of the ideology of her faith too, like a form of religiously acquired Tourette's, psychosis or autism poisoning her mind, or a leash that limits her and prevents her from coming along with you. That's not your fault, nor is it your problem to solve. Be open to the possibility, but don't expect or count on it. You have to live your own life.

My advice is to focus on and plan for the future. What your life can be when you're in charge of it.

#ask #religion #religion is a mental illness

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay here's my thoughts on the bnha monster au so far:

Let's start with Izuku because his shit is Complicated™.

So. Izuku is a Changeling. The Fae kind not the mlp kind. A Fae child swapped with a Human for... whatever the fuck reason why do Fae do that?

Now. I debated on what to do with the Human he was swapped with. I thought about doing what Cap did with OM!Sabrina and just. Making an OC to be the Human that Izuku replaced. And honestly Faezuku was tempting.

But........

Y'all know I'm here with the 'Dad for One' stuff. And AfO did canonically kinda kidnap/adopt a child. Plus I already decided that the whole AfO/OfA situation in this AU involved a Fae Contract.

So really it writes itself that Shigaraki is the Human that AfO swapped Izuku for.

I need to fuck around with this a little because Izuku and Shigaraki are different ages in Canon but I can either adjust ages or explain some Fae Nonsense.

That said, while they were swapped, even more fuckery happens because like hell am I leaving Izuku in that family. Something or other happens and they die(miiiight be AfO's fault), with Izuku ending up adopted by Inko. I can explain away Izuku looking like Inko as some more Fae Magic, the whole Changeling thing has him inclined to make his appearance resemble the family he's in. (by the time we get to the main story his appearance is solidified and can't be changed to a different default.)

Anyway!

Izuku has no idea what he is. He has no idea Magic is a thing. He knows he's a little 'off' in some ways but thinks it's probably just the adhd/autism cocktail. He does have some funky Fae memory where he remembers more about his younger years than a Human should, so he does vaguely remember different adults in his life before Inko and is aware he's adopted. But other than that.......

Well. The only real strange thing is that he likes being in the woods. He feels 'right' there. Not that he's uncomfortable at home, but it's just the Fae nature. He'll spend a lot of time out there. Sometimes he loses track of time and will spend the night in a tree or something. It scares Inko every time but she eventually decided to just get the kid a cellphone so that he can check in.

Let's hop over to All Might for a minute!

I mentioned before that OfA is a Fae Contract. The basis is that it will give you a lot of Magic Power, connecting through each user like in Canon, but at the cost of being tied to whatever Contract was made between the users when it's passed down. Mostly it is some variation of 'use this power to protect others'.

Which. Yeah is what All Might is doing at this point. I don't know if 'superhero' is the right word but he is the person who deals with keeping people safe. Whether it's from the Human vs. Monster thing, or the Monsters that do cause problems.

Now let's finally get to my favorite Katsuki.

SO.

I need to hammer out the relationship between Izuku and Katsuki. Since this is a 'no Quirks' AU, there.... isn't really anything that could cause their fallout as kids. Like, yeah I do think that Katsuki's need for positive attention, no matter how shallow it is, could lean toward the adults at school manipulating him into aiming his anger issues into bullying other students rather than helping him deal with it. But without the difference of Katsuki having a Quirk and Izuku not, there isn't anything to really turn him against his friend entirely.

I think he might just be generally mean and they fell out of friendship for the most part but less targeted bullying.

Anyway. Things are normal up into this AU's version of the sludge villain incident. Which I'm moving up to 'just before high school' rather than a whole year before for timeline reasons.

Also instead of sludge it's a Werewolf.

Yeah you can see where I'm going with this. I made that joke to Cap and I'm sticking to it.

So for whatever reason, both Izuku and Katsuki end up in the woods one night. Whether they're there together or just both ran into each other is up in the air. But they're attacked by a very big and very angry 'wolf'.

They try running for it, but the wolf catches up to them. They try to fight back, but teeth and claws and monstrous animalistic hunger really get the better of them.

Eventually All Might shows up and is able to subdue the beast. He does check over the boys, ask about if they were bit or if they need help. but.... you know how Katsuki is. Just a 'fuck off I'm fine!'. They're a bit roughed up, but nothing they really need to go to a hospital for, right?

All Might takes them at their word and leaves. The kids walk home and Izuku insists that they at least patch up the minor stuff. Gives his mom a heart attack and they lie about the wolf thing. As they're doing that, Izuku sees that Katsuki did get bit. He's worried about it. He wants to go back and find the guy who saved them, but Katsuki brushes it off that it's probably fine.

It's not fine. But we only find this out the next Full Moon. Where Izuku, unafraid of the forest even after last month's trauma, fell asleep in a tree and wakes up to a different wolf on the forest floor. A smaller blonde one. And, as the sun rises, the wolf passes out and turns back to Katsuki.

Izuku feels like he's going fucking insane. But does climb down to check on his friend. Katsuki is very out of it. Being exhausted and in a lot of pain and confused and waking up naked in a forest with no memory of the night before.

Izuku: "So. Uh. I.... I think you might be a Werewolf."

Katsuki: "There's no way in hell."

Izuku: "Look I just saw a wolf turn into you and it was a Full Moon and you got bit a month ago and is there any other fucking explanation?!"

Katsuki: "...... Not one I can think of, no."

They don't know what else to do so they end up looking for All Might. And they do eventually find him thankfully. And explain. And ask if he can help because come on aren't there cures or something?

He tells them 'yeah Magic and Monsters are real'. And he apologizes for not insisting on checking the boys over better because now it's too late. They ask what he means, and he is honest. The only cure for Lycanthropy has to be given within the first Moon Cycle. Once the infected goes through their first Full Moon, it sets in and the cure won't work.

Well shit. Katsuki is not having a good time with that information. And Izuku feels like he should've done more too.

All Might offers to help handle the situation so that Katsuki isn't a danger. Which like. Of course for a hot second they're like 'oh shit he's gonna kill him', and Izuku is 110% down to fight.

He clarifies very quickly though that there's a school where other Magic and Monster kids go. Not only could Katsuki learn more about his own abilities and other Magic stuff, but they do know how to keep Werewolves safe during the Full Moon.

Izuku wants to go to, but... it's not really for Humans and he still thinks he's a Human. Now we the parallel to Canon of how All Might was looking for a successor and all. And seeing Izuku both the first time against the wolf that bit Katsuki and just now ready to fight him when he thought there was a threat, he decides the kid's a good candidate.

Of course there's more discussion on that. But this is... interesting. Because it is originally Fae Magic that has been passed through a few different hands and is now, unknowingly, back in the hands of a Fae. A Fae who already should have a large power due to lineage but hasn't ever used it, and is now supercharged.

Basically he's ridiculously OP lmao but that shit's just Canon.

The kids end up at UA which is. Basically Monster High vibes tbh. With the rest of the UA staff and students as various monsters. Which I have not thought of what all they are yet but rip

#bnha monster au

[rum-and-shattered-dreams]

Warning for a real life death mention and grief, I guess?

It’s been a long time since I’ve had one of the messed up dreams where I find out my mom is somehow still alive and all most of what I feel is horrible guilt for donating/selling most of her stuff (because now she’s here and needs it, though I kept a lot of the things that were important to her/irreplaceable) and for somehow not knowing and visiting her, and crushing anxiety/dread over having to care for her alone again somehow/give up a chance at maybe having a life to do so. (And yes, she is always upset in the silent treatment/withholding affection/love way in these dreams.)

I hate that that’s almost all I can feel. This last one had a little more happy-to-see-her-again but it’s still not much in comparison. (In this dream, I tried to hug her but she pulled away) It’s not like there weren’t good times/good things. There were more than many kids can say they had with a parent. But people tell me there were things they saw that were messed up. I saw them too but somehow can’t process them as bad enough to be like, traumatic or anything because they were constant background noise things not a bunch of major events or overt neglect or abuse.

And it’s extra complicated because I think it stems from me thinking she deserved better (than me and what I could offer because of my health issues (both mental and physical) and selfishness and awkwardness and undiagnosed autism that caused misunderstandings). But I was not and am not “better”. (This extends into believing everyone deserves better than me but that’s going into a deeper spiral).

But it’s interesting that I used to not get that these were dreams and would be “stuck” in them until I naturally woke up (or something else woke me up). Then it progressed to realizing it must be a dream and being able to wake myself up. This time I skipped the “wait, this isn’t possible - oh this is another dream. I should probably wake up” moment and went straight to shouting “please wake up!” And did.

Anyway it might also be because of relearning (or finally understanding?) something kid me took as just a way of the world. Somewhere in life, the concept faded and a recent event brought it up again and helped me re-realize it.

Help and support aren’t all or nothing. (Which is why we need full support groups). One person probably can’t do everything a person needs when they ask for help and they should not be expected to. But that doesn’t mean a person can’t accept and be grateful for what support the other person could and did give. And that can exist alongside other feelings including anger and sadness. This applies to others, like my mom, and to me. I might not be capable of doing everything someone needs when they ask for help but maybe some part of it can be useful.

So yeah… still trying to untangle this emotional mess that refuses to come out as actual emotional expression. Dreams, skin issues, and gut issues, sure! But can I get the ugly cry I probably need? Apparently not.

#death mention #grief #I guess? #personal rambling #mo’s ramblings and such