#anyway sometimes my mom says things and casually devastates me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jswdmb1 · 2 years

Text

That's The Way Love Is

"Love is leaving without reason

Feelings change just like seasons

And no, nothing's the same

There's no use in pretending

I can hide the pain"

Poi Dog Pondering (Ten City cover)

Getting married brings with it a lot of logistical things that you don’t really think about before you do it. Some are fun, like buying a house or planning a honeymoon, while others, like deciding how finances will work, may end things before it even gets started. Then, there is the stuff that is mundane but sometimes perplexing. For me, the most awkward of these tasks was figuring out what I would call my mother-in-law and father-in-law. I didn’t know them very long before I proposed, so not much protocol had been established. We were casual about things, so “Mr. & Mrs. Cecchini” didn’t work, and neither did “Mom & Dad” (I already had those). I settled the matter by not referring to them as anything. If I couldn’t speak to them directly, I would ask my wife to ask her mom or dad for whatever I needed. It came up more rarely than you would think, so this was a good temporary solution.

Having children relatively shortly after the wedding gave me an out. They were now “Meme and Grandpa,” which stuck for a while, especially when the kids were young. Then, a few years ago, we got some bad news. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with primary progressive aphasia, an uncommon form of dementia. Its effects are quick and devastating, and she passed away just a few months later at the all too young age of 70. It was especially tough to take because my dad had died just six months before she passed, so my family’s life was in quite a bit of disarray. In addition to grieving, we needed to now support two widowed parents. It certainly put the worry of how to address my father-in-law on the back burner.

This is where my wife, Sarah, comes in and shows the world what it means to love your parents unconditionally. Through tireless efforts, she found him a wonderful home with an organization called Senior Home Sharing (https://www.seniorhomesharing.org). You can check out their website to see what they do in more detail, but briefly, they are a home for independent seniors who need help adjusting to life on their own but don’t need assistance with day-to-day activities. They provide room, board, and a sense of community that is hard to replicate. We found that out when Sarah’s dad moved in with us for a few months during COVID. We were happy to have him, but we have an old house with many stairs, which is not great for someone with mobility issues. We were also busy most days with work, school, and life stuff that left him in his room a lot with the TV. Senior Home Sharing allowed him to grow a bit beyond his normal zone, and it was then that the relationship between him and me changed.

Based on the timing of my dad’s death, it would have been easy to just say to Mike, “hey, you need someone, and I need a dad, so let’s make a deal,” but it doesn’t work that way. Once a parent passes away, there is no replacement, regardless of how good or bad your relationship was with them. But, I did have a void in my life, and so did he, so it made sense that we could find a way to help each other. We didn’t necessarily become best buds hanging out every night at the bar (neither of us drank, so that wouldn’t have made sense anyway). Still, we connected more than before, especially when he lived with us.

I’m a big fan of history and old tv shows, so I enjoyed flipping on a WWII documentary or an old episode of Hawaii 5-0 and hanging out with him. I would pester him with questions along the way, as I do to everyone, and he humored me by listening to my schtick, which made me quite happy. At this point, I thought we were less like father/son-in-law and more like a couple of roommates who were very different but could find some common ground to enjoy each other’s company. It was during this time that I started calling him Mike (his given name is Joseph, but everyone called him by his middle name, Michael or “Mike”). After all those years of avoiding the topic, we finally progressed to a real adult relationship where we called each other by first names and didn’t worry about the customs or logistics around it. It created something unique that I began to appreciate as time passed, even when Mike occasionally frustrated me with this, that, or whatever (as most roommates do). But ultimately, he was such a good guy that any issues were quickly resolved, and we moved forward.

This became more difficult a year ago when Mike's serious health issues became critical. Mike lived a hard life, which took a toll on his body. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that doctors seeing him for the first time on one of his many trips to the hospital would go bug-eyed looking at his chart. To his credit, Mike was one of the toughest SOBs I have ever met. He was in on separate occasions for kidney failure, chest pains, a minor stroke, and a broken hip, among other ailments, and he bounced back each and every time. On several occasions, I left the hospital sure I would never see him again. Then two days later, I’d go back, and he would be sitting up eating lunch and asking about his truck. It perplexed even the medical staff when they would go to release him. They would recommend hospice one day, and the following have to figure out a rehab plan for him (which he would eventually complete successfully). With my macabre sense of humor, I couldn’t help but start calling him “Lazarus.” Mike never took himself very seriously, so he got a good laugh at that one when I finally told him. But it was a compliment as I have never seen such a resolve to persevere through pain and suffering.

While we were pleased to see him return from these trips, we knew they were taking their toll. He eventually had to move to a skilled nursing home as his care became more than even an assisted living arrangement could provide. On the visits my wife and I made over the past few weeks, we could see that he was deteriorating, and the suffering was getting hard to watch. He had constant nausea and couldn’t hold any food down, which was startling given his big appetite in his younger days (legend has it that he was once asked to leave an all-you-can-eat buffet because he had run them out of fried chicken). A couple of days ago, I went on a solo visit to drop some things off and see how he was doing. I could tell right away that he was in some real pain.

My usual job on visits to Mike was always to be a bit of a court jester, and there was no way I was letting him down now. On a visit a couple of weeks prior, I came in the room and saw he was watching Yo MTV Raps! There are not many sure things in life, but I was absolutely certain that Mike was not a big fan of ’90s hip-hop videos. I asked what was up with that, and he said it had been on for a few days, and he indeed was not a fan. He was having some trouble cognitively, and the smart TV provided a challenge, which accounted for the issue. After a good chuckle, I went through his TV, hid all but a few channels, and left with MeTV on. I figured that would always have something okay on it. When I came in on this last visit, I saw MeTV had on an A-Team episode. It was one where the gang gets involved in solving some sort of art heist racket that I found far-fetched but still entertaining. I asked him if this was better than Yo MTV Raps! And got a smile out of him. We also agreed there is zero point in disagreeing with B.A. Baracus, but it seems to keep happening anyway. That got another smile, and with that, my job was done.

As I was leaving, an episode of MASH came on. Mike always thought it was funny that I was obsessed with that show (I can’t explain it – but I have watched every episode at least 10 times). I told him I felt okay leaving him because he was in the good hands of Hawkeye and Col. Potter. It wasn’t my best material, but it got the point across. When I got home, I filled Sarah in on the visit. I suggested that his condition had progressed to a new level, and we needed to find ways to make him more comfortable. We never got the chance. The call came at 7;00 the following day that he was back in the hospital and that Sarah should come quickly. She held his hand as he passed later that morning. It was peaceful, and it mercifully put an end to his suffering. Mike used every ounce of his strength to live and never gave up. He deserved this dignified ending with the most important person in his life right at his side.

When you think about death, it’s an awful and beautiful moment at precisely the same time. It’s something bewildering yet offers proof that this life is more than the mundane things we worry about, like what we will call our in-laws. My time with Mike also taught me never to assume anything about anyone until you really know them. Otherwise, you could be missing out on some great stuff. In my case, I never would have had the opportunity to get to know the purest human being I had ever met. At fifty years old, I thought I was done learning, but Mike has given me a gift. He has shown me that love is hiding everywhere. It’s just not always obvious. But when things line up right, and you keep your mind open, a beautiful relationship comes when you least expect it. I will be forever grateful to Joseph Michael Cecchini for teaching me that lesson. Rest peacefully, my friend.

1 note · View note

jjkpls · 3 years

Text

first love (m)

genre : fluff, angst, light smut

pairing : kim seokjin x reader (f)

word count : 4.6k

warnings/content : mentions of sexual intercourse, mature language, infidelity, separated parents, unresolved past relationship, dad!seokjin, mom!reader

Seokjin doesn't mean to overreact. He knows he shouldn't. Knows you hate it. Knows, because he's been told enough times, that these types of reactions are unnecessary and possibly harmful for a child.

He can't really help it when deep down he knows he was meant to be an actor. Right before his actual birthday, his mother had dreamt of giving birth on a theatre stage, for God's sake.

But his father wasn't into it, given his ambitions, his own growing company and all the promising opportunities he envisioned both for him and for his only son. Therefore Seokjin went to law school, graduated with excellent mentions, followed an accelerated program in business development and managing and joined his father exactly where he was expected.

He isn't exactly complaining.

He likes his job, most of the time, likes the money and luxury that come with it especially and appreciates the work safety.

Now, you can't blame him for being quite the drama queen in his everyday life. All that pent up, buried alive passion for the arts of acting need to express, somehow.

That's what he'd say to you when you used to yell at him for starting weeping loudly in your ear when he'd call you to cancel a date last minute because he couldn't come, instead of just, cancelling it, aplogize, get over it like a normal person.

Or when you'd kick him in the ribs because he'd be all wild gestures and screeching screams when he'd teach your son to ride a bike and he would fall, as he should to learn, making the boy cry even when he wasn't hurt, solely from the projection of his dad's fear.

You're not here to tell him yourself but the glazed, annoyed roll of his son's eyes tells him precisely what you would. Those eyes are the worst. The prettiest he's ever seen. The ones he loves the most. The ones you also wear on your own pretty face.

"Since when?" He has a hand pressed to his chest, preventing a heart attack it seems, gaze wide and alarmed. Timothy sighs.

"A while. They were already together for Valentine's Day-" He explains patiently. That kid is sweet. The way he's slumped over, obviously annoyed to have to be the one telling his dad and having to deal with the consequences but still, he's watching over him with a soft eye, mouth torn in a sympathetic pout. He wouldn't mind his parents to get back together even though he is almost sure it wouldn't be a good idea for the both of you. He's heard tales of dysfunctional families, of parents hurting each other and their children and doesn't want that for any of you. He can't imagine it happen. You two are too good for that. That's probably why you had decided to separate in the first place.

Seokjin is quickly making maths in his head. Not really counting the time but situating himself in that time frame. Where was he at when she was out with this guy? What was he doing?

He may have been in Japan when it started. He remembers a call from you, you were asking him to take Timothy for a couple of days. You sounded embarrassed and he didn't know why but couldn't take the time to investigate, he had a flight expecting him and a conference call waiting to start in a couple of minutes. Important stuff. None of it would have mattered if he had known what you were up to.

"You okay, dad?" Timothy asks, awkward but kind. His mom basically.

"Devastated." Seokjin says with the widest grin on his face. He's not devastated. It'd be ridiculous to be for something absolutely predictable, fair and normal. He's not mad, nor disappointed. You deserve to be seeing people, have them desire you and make you feel good. He wishes it were him but if he can't do that, if you won't let him, he's glad you still can allow someone else to do it.

He's surprised though, he can't lie about that.

Honestly. That's stupid. But he didn't expect one second that you were seeing someone. You never mentioned anything and you didn't look like it. If there's a way you look when you're dating.

He remembers rosy cheeks and short skirts. You were younger.

"You think it's serious?" He asks casually, surprising even himself. His heart is in a turmoil but he showed enough to Timothy, acting like he was half dying, gasping for air and all.

"I don't know. She doesn't want to bring him home yet. Like, introduce him to me. I asked." Timothy, not only is he nice, he is smart. He's thirteen, shouldn't know much about Love and adults' matters yet. He's supposed to still be at that stage when one believes children and adults are two very distinctive race of humans, one that depends on the other and the other having it all figured it out, having reached a certain knowledge and expertise on all things and can't really be wrong on accident.

Timothy knows precisely what his dad would love to hear. And he gives it to him. Not to feed him vain hopes. Not even for this tiny hidden greed to have you back together. Simply because it's the truth and if for once the truth is pleasant to hear, then he should give it. Seokjin's smile only gets brighter. He shares a glance with his son, a glint winking his way and Timothy rolls his eyes, unable to hide the lift of the corners of his lips.

"Anyway, I heard you won that science fair at school?" Seokjin has already left his seat on Timothy's bed. He's rummaging through his leather bag and Timothy knows what it means. He has a present for him. Seokjin always has a present for him. Most of the time, he can justify it by some event or some success Timothy had encountered. The thing is they don't see each other that often, therefore, almost systematically, something new has come about and Seokjin can explain why he's brought a brand new console, a new laptop, a TV for his room or that one limited edition of this way too expensive branded pair of sneakers.

You used to get really mad at that. You'd say that he shouldn't, that he didn't need to bring him all these expensive stuff because what he'd like (it was a long time ago when Timothy was too young to have his own opinion and you would speak for him) is for his dad to be here more often. You'd say he wouldn't have to buy him shit for any other times than Christmas and his birthday if only he could be here for him. His dad would be his present.

It caused a lot of drama, a lot of crying. You had made sure not to scream, not to be too angry but Timothy felt from the way you squeezed him hard against your bosom that you were very upset. His dad had apologized, had said the most with his eyes only for you to understand. Timothy was staring, trying to get it too because he was involved, wasn't he? But that was one of those adults moments he wasn't allowed to participate in yet.

From then on, his dad wasn't late anymore when he'd set dates with him, his phone would be turned off when they were together and he would text him more often.

It was really nice. Because at first, Timothy felt that maybe if his dad wasn't so present it was because he didn't want to. For some reasons. He thought maybe he was too much of a coward or too nice possibly, to leave you two altogether, to disappear from your lives and start another one somewhere else, one he would have chosen and shaped as he'd want. Turns out Seokjin really appreciated his son and the time he got to spend with him. The more time they spend together, the more Timothy is met with awed eyes and whistling lips, impressed as his dad is by his smartness, his humour and hidden talents. He just was very busy. You explained that to him. That he was passionate by his work, that it required a sacrificial amount of time in one's life, and that he shouldn't ever take it personally because even he loved you and couldn't give you that time.

It's the conversation that led him to think that maybe his parents are meant to be, except they won't because... circumstances.

In any case, no matter how often they meet now, Seokjin still brings him gifts each and every time. The difference is that he has to think of a reason, sometimes make one up to not be struck down by your fury.

"Yes, I did."

"Of course, you did! Cause my son is the smartest." Timothy waits for the moment he says that his brain and the magic fuel filling it all come from him. It doesn't come. Instead, a neat white box is held in front of his face. There's a pretty tie made of ribbons glued in the middle, to hide the picture of what's inside, but there's no doubt that this is an iPhone. He rips the tie off and surprise surprise it's the iPhone 12.

"Mom is going to kill you." Timothy says first, before even thanking him, heart pounding from excitement and face split in two by the wide banana grin.

"Probably." He shrugs, unapologetic.

"Thanks, dad!" Timothy doesn't forget to add, eyes shiny and toothy grin even shinier.

He hopes so. That you're going to be mad. You two are too old to have petty fights now. You don't waste your energy in screaming and finding the worst things to say to hurt his feelings. You just cross your arms under your tits, clench your jaws and adopt that pout on your mouth, eyelids low and eyebrows high, the embodiment of condescendence and you look sexy as hell. He smiles and winks at you, calls you by an old pet name and you're swooning even though you try to hide it. No one is charming like he is, and no one charms you as he does therefore he's not too worried.

His son was just going around with this prehistorical device you dared to call a smartphone. With the broken screen, and the non-functioning selfie cam and the safari app needing a good ten minutes to charge one fucking page -this was deliberate as you wanted him to have a phone to call and text you and not go and lose himself on the internet or whatever. He's almost fourteen though and he's doing a great job at school and is such a good kid at home, he deserves it.

"I know and I don't care. I don't need you to tell me my son is good." You are infuriated. The perfect picture of you he had imagined, the only difference is that, you've just walked out of work, you seem to have had a rough day and your hair is a mess. With the wild locks hanging off of your bun, framing your pretty face, you look even better. "I don't want him to have something so expensive on him, first of all."

"His dad is richer than Cresus, what do you expect?" The cockiness dripping from every pore should suffice to make you explode. Of course, it doesn't. He has that stupid side grin. The one he's got you with in the first place.

"And what about- internet and even just the darn AppStore? He's too young to-"

"Are you worried about porn?" He frowns, you flush. That's precisely one of the things you think about. You don't want him to fall upon stuff he doesn't need to see -in your opinion for a good ten years at least- or start taking interest in social medias where creepy fuckers could hang out.

You flush because apparently, it's a word complicated still to hear from him. "I've made a parental software installed in it. And a localisation too. Not that we really need it with him but you know."

"Oh." All tension escapes from your torn face and tensed shoulders.

"Oh, wow, my first love is such a good dad." He mocks, voice high, hardly resembling yours, barely biting back a smirk. He even goes as far as swiping the right side of his bangs back, eyes closed, mannerism insufferable.

"Shut up." More flush. A fist to his chest for punishment. Bad idea. Apparently, he went back to the gym.

"You should be nicer because I have something for you too." He says, eyes glancing mischievously as his hand dips in the pocket of his trench coat. "Well. I don't want it." You cross your arms on your chest again which only serves to push your tits forward to him and he wonders what you're playing at. Probably the same game he plays when he winks and smiles and lifts his eyebrow to you.

"Wait 'til you see it." He sees the moment you realize it's a jewellery box. He reads the instant wild excitement, he catches also the gloomy shadow you try to paint over it because you don't want to accept it. How many times does he need to be told to stop? He won't ever stop.

"You can't buy me, Seokjin." You're eyeing the velour box in his hand, a tiny beautiful red in this large pearly white palm. You want it. You always do. You don't dare uncross your arms though because you know that if you even do something as reckless as taking it in your hand, just to have a look at it, you won't be able to refuse it.

"Of course, I can." More of that smirk. You glare, it makes him wheeze as he does.

You have never ever been able to refuse any of his shiny presents. You're not a gold digger, that's precisely why you felt so guilty all the time, accepting to receive from him things you could never afford for him -or yourself. He's born richer than you'll ever be, he loves to spend it on his loved ones -and on cars and designer clothes- and amongst everything else he loves, he adores covering you in shiny little rocks.

No one has ever worn diamonds the way you do. You look beautiful without them, magnificent with them. They were made to enhance your beauty and you were made to give them sense.

"You're such a dick." You say, tone way too monotonous to still have been in total control of your free will. Your eyes are glued to the shine of the two dainty clear earrings nested in the case. He's holding it open in front of your nose, like a hypnotizing stick. He sees your determination wavers. Your arms have just untied. Your hand is getting close. He smiles already savouring his victory.

"Take them, petal, I don't think your new boy could ever afford them." Your hand freezes mid-track, face falling you look up. He's a bit surprised to see guilt in those eyes. Shame and guilt. Even though, you have the right to see whoever you want. Obviously.

"How-" His head tilts slightly towards the hallway, where the bedrooms and the one Timothy is in, probably playing with his new phone. "Great. Bribing our son into giving you off my personal information."

"I gave him the iPhone after he told me." Seokjin feels the need to precise. His son loves him and he confided for this very reason. He wants to believe. He hopes that it's not because he's worried his dad would have a mental breakdown if he were to learn the news the day his mom would invite him to their wedding or something.

You sigh. You don't know what to say it seems. He doesn't want you to feel upset. He's not going to congratulate you either. He can't.

"Take them."

"He could- he's a doctor, you know." You sound like a petty little girl saying that, fingers aiming for the box but mouth reshaped by contempt.

Thankfully, the mesmerizing glee on your lovely face makes up for this last information.

A doctor.

He snorts, huffs and rolls his eyes.

"Are you really being disdainful over the noblest of all professions?"

"I bet he's not as handsome as I am." Seokjin says, staring away into space in a very Vogue kind of pose.

"And it's relevant because your face saves lives too, right?" You add to his clownery, biting on the smile wanting to take over your face.

"Precisely." You're already putting them on, watching your fingers work in the reflection on the microwave door. He's loving it. One is on, reflecting the light coming from the window, bringing a new sense to your whole stance. You don't look tired anymore. You look very fancy. Sexier than before. Your butt sways a little in excitement when you take a new look at yourself, now beautifully decorated and he's reminded of an idea he once had but never got to realize.

He wanted to have a fashion designer make a garter holder made of tiny diamonds. Solely diamonds. It would fit you just right, maybe a bit tight on you, would dig slightly in the meat of your thighs, enough to look fucking sinful and not too much so it doesn't hurt. He was quite young when he had the idea first and was probably not rich enough to make it happen.

He now owns a few palaces perched on the last stage of skyscrapers in three of the most expensive cities in the world and he would sell one in a beat if it meant he could get that for you and see you wear it for him.

You'd probably end up accepting it and then wear it for your new boy so that's out the question.

He doesn't hesitate when he reaches a hand forward, slip his fingers through the tie holding your hair in a bun and slide it off. You don't even flinch, he's still allowed to do that.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you." You whisper with a smile, both for the compliment and for the present.

"You went to the hair salon." You nod, forcing yourself not to show your surprise. He doesn't need it to throw himself some flowers, "See? I noticed." He adds with way too much pride for so little.

"Your lenses work, congratulations." Sarcasm is the only answer to his stupidity, you both have figured this out long ago. "Is he nice?" Seokjin can't help but ask. He doesn't want to know too much about him. Kind of hopes that it won't be necessary as the guy won't last too long. But he can't resist his curiosity.

"Yes." You say without much of a hesitation. "Last week, he took me to this nice French restaurant in Songpa." You tell, eyes looking away, a bit pensive, mindlessly playing with one strand of your hair. Your face is taken over by that air. Seokjin realizes then that you really like him.

"I used to take you to very nice restaurants all the time, remember?" He's just messing around now. He knows it's not that relevant. Knows it won't get him higher in your regard,

"And I would spend half the date with the waiter while you'll have yours with your phone. I do remember." Especially given you don't recall your common past the same.

He does remember now that you mention it. His memory has been awfully selective and mainly, what he could picture when he thought about those times, is how beautiful you looked, how much he wanted you and felt like even sitting right next to you, he couldn't satisfy that need, was missing you even if you were right there, and the mind-blowing sex too. The later probably happening because he owed to make it up to you because indeed, his job was on the dates too and you hated that. He remembers the late mornings, the lazy ones, you'd make him carry you on his back because your legs and your hips hurt too badly.

"Ouch!" Toppling over, hand on his bosom where it actually really hurts, he yelps in agony, pretending to have been shot. You giggle and slap his shoulder, pester him to stop when you both hear Timothy ask from his room if everything's okay. You'd think he would know by now that his dad is just a clown whose shenanigans shouldn't be taken seriously.

"Are you seeing someone these days?" What a shame, Seokjin really thought for once he'd be solely cool and collected and handsome. Instead, he can feel his ears start to burn in embarrassment, walks a few steps back, pretending to want to throw a glance through the window when really, he'd do anything to not have see you notice.

"Someone?" He huffs. "Some three, actually some four or five. You know how the ladies get with me-" He sounds dumb as hell. It suffices to make you laugh. You've always laughed at his antics. Even when you were going through complicated times, like the pregnancy and the soon to follow break up, he'd try to dry your cheeks and lighten your gaze, heartbroken as he was to see you like that, and it would always work.

"And I know how bad you are with maths." He nods, doesn't look at you, simply stares at the shiny tip of his italian shoes. "You should call me sometimes, Jin." You don't need to tell him, he knows. You say that to him almost every single time. It's just you being kindhearted, the way you've always been. But first, he hates the idea that somehow, to some degree, it's a pity hand you're holding out for him. And secondly, he knows he'll fuck up if he calls.

He won't be able to talk about his job or politics or what's on the dumb tv these days. He'd probably start by asking what you're wearing and end it all by serenading you. What a bad idea. "You don't ever call, only Tim. Which is fine but-" He is lonely, he does miss you, but he's not that stupid. "I miss you too, you know." You look awfully sincere when you say this. There's still a sad shade to your eyes and he suspects it comes from you worrying about him rather than you simply wanting him more in your life. Maybe it's there for both reasons. He can't be mad at you for caring about him still, can he? Ultimately, it's sweet. It's not your fault he tends to be a loser in his very personal life.

He wouldn't know who he is trying to comfort when he strides forward and place a kiss on your cheek. The other one he's cradling in his palm feels warmer the longer he touches it. He doesn't let it go once he backs up and away. You're looking up to him with your eyes looking all round and childish. Quiet and in expectancy. You look like you do when you would wait for him to kiss you. His thumb brushes over your bottom lip and he smirks.

"Expecting me to kiss you?" He asks with an eyebrow raised high. Pretend judgment in his tone, even remonstrance. As if. "How scandalous, when you already have a boyfriend." You know he's just kidding and he can tell that. He wouldn't play with that if he wasn't sure. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings, make you feel wrong or bad in any way. He loves you too much for that. You could let him kiss you and he wouldn't hold you accountable for it. Therefore he does. Because he's dying to since the last time it happened a couple of weeks back. And when your own lips welcome his, with that much willing and tenderness, he suspects you've had too.

He doesn't allow it to go too far. He thought you would stop him, at some point, but you don't. He's the one pulling away when his tongue, instinctively, means to reach out for your own. He knows what comes after that, and what comes after that and after and after. And even if you transpire guilt and shame, he can sense in the way your eyes stare into his that you would have let it all happen.

He's not lacking in desire, he hopes you know that. Honestly, since earlier, and that random flash of the diamond garter holder, his brain is half clouded by the thought of your thighs and his face buried in between them. You used to make the most delicious sounds, pulling at the root of his hair and chasing your high with your hips. Also now that he's met your mouth again and he envisioned what could happen if he just let go, he can't help but think about that dresser in your room. The gigantic thing you wanted him and Timothy to put together as sort of a father and son enterprise to bound or whatever - he ended up paying a guy to do it for them and they played Mario Kart instead but you don't need to know that. Point of the matter is, that massive dresser has a massive mirror on its door and that massive mirror sits perfectly in front of your bed. And all he can think about is how bad he'd like to fuck you on your bed while you'd watch yourself in it. He'd pull back your hair, hold in tight in his fist like he knows you love so you could see your own cute face while his cock would reshape your cunt to its fitting, all this with the pretty little shiny earrings adorning your ears.

Fuck, what a concept.

And it is to say that right now, he knows, you'd let him. He's not that wicked though. He feels your too weak to resist him today therefore he's not even going to chance it. He doesn't want you to do something you'd hate yourself for afterwards.

"I should go, I still have documents to send for a new contract before-" He takes a look at the expensive watch heavy on his wrist, you roll your eyes. "Half an hour ago, great." He offers you a smile that doesn't reach his eyes no matter how hard he tries before he's off to the hallway, giving you his broad back. "I'm going to say bye to Tim."

"It's just- like that, Seokjin." The words are pretty badly chosen. They don't mean much. Seokjin still gets it though. He can picture you behind him, shrugging your shoulders and tilting your head to the side. It doesn't mean much.

"I know, petal. Don't worry." He throws over his shoulder, faux lightness in his tone even though his heart feels raw. It doesn't mean enough, is more accurate. This kiss like every single one of your shared looks and words and bickering and touches, they all mean that you still fit perfectly good together. However, it's not enough because somehow, someday, you came to the conclusion that you were not meant to be. He's confused as to why and how he agreed with you then. Here's the main reason why he never calls you.

When Timothy looks up from his new phone, wearing your eyes and his smile, he feels a whole new range of pain affected to his sensitized heart. How can you not see that you're meant to be?

A/N: Happy Lunar New Year :) this little thingy was inspired by Arsène Lupin and the relationship between Assane and Claire for those who watched it! I don’t know if i translated well the alchimy and unfightable attraction and connection they still have even after having seperated. ANYWAY, hope you all are doing fine, hope you liked this, LET ME KNOW what you thought, tell me about your day, your resolutions if you have any, what’s the weather like where you at etc lmao xoxo

PS: stay tuned for a new upcoming series i’m quite excited about ~~

#btswriterscollective #thekimlinenet #ksmutclub #bts fluff #bts smut #bts angst #seokjin fluff #seokjin smut #seokjin angst #bts scenario #seokjin fanfic #bts fanfic #seokjin scenario

284 notes · View notes

sarahjtv · 3 years

Text

BNHA Chapter 309 Spoiler Thoughts: Izuku and Inko Midoriya, and Some More Things Along The Way

The chapter leaks are here again! Thanks to all the people on Twitter and here on Tumblr for providing us with scans and translations. This chapter helps explain some things that a lot of us were wondering about. Sadly, there’s still no Bakugo, or Shoto, or any other UA kids really; they’re only in flashbacks. But, we do get to see what All Might and the Top 3 Heroes (Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist) are up to, so that’s something. Anyway, remember to take what I say with a grain of salt until the official translations come out on Sunday:

The chapter starts a few minutes after Deku beat Muscular. He’s flying through the air taking an unconscious Muscular tied up in his Black Whip. The other Ketsubusu Academy students from the Lisence Exam see him too. Thankfully the stubborn civilians from 2 chapters ago are willing to help Yo Shindo recover in exchange for not listening moving to the school shelters. Also, Shindo’s barely conscious, but he does actually remember Deku. He’s just not the same Deku as before. Not much for me to say here except that I wonder if Shindo’s going to help spread the word about Deku’s actions. Not just to his classmates, but I wonder if the words’ going to get out to the news and UA. Actually, word might not even get that far since Shindo was only one of the few people in that exam that really even interacted with Deku...

Deku hands Muscular over to the police for them to take care off. He also makes sure to cover himself up in Smokescreen to hide his identity. So, Deku really is working in the shadows here. It is best that the public doesn’t know what Deku is doing so that the LoV don’t track him down. My man’s really going down the Batman route. Oh, I also have to admire Deku’s smartphone here kept in this steel case. I was going to say it’s a burner phone, but burner phones break easily for a reason and this one clearly doesn’t. Maybe it’s a special one that can’t be tracked down.

And we finally get to see All Might again! He is actively working with Deku instead of just not knowing where his protege is. He’s wearing casual clothes (jacket, jeans, sunglasses, the works) when he meets up with Deku in an alleyway. I’m honestly glad that All Might is still supervising Deku. I mean, Deku on his own would’ve been badass, but when you’re going up against people like AFO and Shigaraki, you’re going to need some help. Especially when laying low. Even with supervision, I still think Deku counts as a vigilante b/c I don’t think his license works if he’s not at UA. I will believe this unless proven otherwise.

It’s explained that the “wrapping” on Deku’s arms are actually gauntlets called “Mid-Gauntlets”, which are what are helping hold Deku’s arms together. And they are VERY similar to the gauntlets that Melissa Shield from Two Heroes gave Deku. Deku even says that All Might ordered them from the USA before travel restrictions were put in place. I know that it’s only implied, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Deku’s new gauntlets were made by Melissa. Even if you want to doubt it, at this point, Two Heroes (and by extension Heroes Rising and probably the upcoming 3rd movie, World Heroes Mission) are canon. Honestly, I’m cool with it. I liked Melissa and I’m glad her presence is still around (she was even in a Team-Up Mission chapter with Hatsume). I do wonder if we’re ever going to see her in the main story. It would be nice to see Melissa again.

The gauntlets are test samples and are used to enhance endurance. All Might says that they can’t withstand 100% of OFA yet. Which means that Deku actually beat Muscular with less than 100% unlike their first fight where Deku had to use over 100% just to knock him out. So, does this mean that, say, Deku’s current 45% is stronger than his 100+% back in the Forest Camp? Or maybe it was just the combo of moves and strategy rather then Deku just punching his way through things.

Small detail, but All Might’s phone goes off with that “I AM HERE” ringtone we heard before and Deku comments that this particular one is from All Might’s Silver Age TV Special! It’s such a small thing, but I love that Deku still has that All Might fanboy in him despite everything 💚! Somethings truly never change.

And back to the Top 3: Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist! Endeavor and Best Jeanist are teaming up to kick a villain’s ass while Hawks is talking to All Might on the phone. It looks like Hawks got a few costume changes particularly his visor/glasses which look more boxy than they did before if that makes sense. Oh, and they’re also helping All Might work with Deku. Makes sense since all three vowed to help take down Dabi earlier and Shigaraki and AFO definitely extend from that.

Deku’s Danger Sense is going off, so he’s probably going to check out any danger he can find in case it’s the LoV. I do wonder if that harms Deku still. It was said that it felt like a stabbing in his head and it must’ve been bad enough for the 4th OFA Holder to live in the forest away from society. Man, I really hope our boy is ok (I know he’s not really, let me have this).

But yeah, Hawks (still wingless, but with a nice little undercut btw😳) explains that Deku's afraid of dragging other people in his battles like All Might. Hawks also goes on to say that it’s best to take the initiative in taking down AFO and Shigaraki rather than waiting for them to appear all powered up. He also wants All Might to keep supporting him despite the difficult position he’s in (remember that All Might’s technically Qurikless again and can’t really fight on his own). It makes sense for them to go after the Villains again while they can. If Deku fought Shigaraki while Shigaraki was at full strength, Deku would lose easily. Even at 75%, Shigaraki was able to kill and injure A LOT of people, and Deku was lucky to even make it out there alive. They need to find Shigaraki SOON!

Flashback to Central Hospital before Deku jumped UA ship! Recover Girl and Central Hospital’s high-tech were responsible for many of the patience recovering quickly and being discarged. Deku was just there a little longer than the others. So, we can assume that all our UA kids and some notable heroes made it out alive after being treated. Still don’t know what happened to some people like Tamaki and Fat Gum tho 😭.

All Might and Deku’s mom, Inko (thank god she’s ok), are by Deku’s bedside as his casts are taken off. Deku’s doctor (who looks like Super Mario/Luigi; the whole Super Mario crew must run this damn place. Where’s Bowser and Princess Peach) explains that despite his former warnings about his ligaments, Deku’s limbs are still functioning because he’s not the same as he was before. So, before, Deku’s injuries were like his limbs were exploding from the inside, but this time those “explosions” were able to escape his body. Also his Black Whip cast helped keep Deku’s arm in tact so that he wouldn’t pulverize himself. His ligimates are still degrading too, so Deku still has to be careful. I think he might have a few more small scars too, but that could just be shadows or muscle lining from Horikoshi’s pen-work.

Ok, honestly, I’m not sure how this logically works... I’m no medical professional, but I assume this means that Deku’s built his body up so much that it’s naturally able to withstand more damage than before and that’s why he’s more durable. But, I don’t know how Deku was able to let the “explosions” escape this time. I get the reverse; I get how he got injured before, but I don’t get this. Was it the Black Whip brace he made for himself? I honestly don’t really understand this. Maybe the official translations will clear this up. Or Horikoshi will in a Tweet or Volume Extra.

And Inko is finally informed of OFA thank the gods! She was in the top of my list of “People who should really, really know OFA and what’s going on with Deku because I swear...”. She’s clearly shaken up as anyone would be, but I’m glad she at least knows what’s going on with her son. Yes, she’s still worried, but at least she can stop guessing why all this is happening.

Deku announces the reason why he won’t go back to UA and it’s basically that Shigaraki can sense where Deku is and he doesn’t want to see anyone else close to him get hurt and/or die. So, basically what I thought would be the reason. Absolutely no surprise there. But, going after Shigaraki and AFO first was originally Deku’s idea, so that’s something new. Kid’s bold.

And this broke my heart 💔! Inko insists that Deku stay with her to stay safe, but Deku knows what he has to do. So, he thanks his mom, thanks her for making him happy, and tells her that he’ll be ok and that he’ll come back home with a somber smile on his face. We see a flashback to Little Deku and Inko too when they were happier. Bro, I don’t even know what to say. I am in tears just writing this 😭 I’ll just post these two panels so y’all can cry with me. I will never recover from this. I’m fucking devastated. You better come home, Deku:

*sniffs* All Might remembers what he said to Inko. He remembers how he said that he will protect Deku with his life. All Might encourages Deku to go and he says that he’ll go with him with tears in his eyes. He asks the Top 3 to help with this mission (finding Dabi) as their own mission coincides with Deku’s (finding Shigaraki and AFO). I’m so glad all these adults are staying by Deku’s side throughout this. It’s good to know that Deku still has support, though I wish it were from some of his friends too. Maybe one day.

Deku goes to see Grand Torino in his hospital room to talk to him about OFA. He mentions his friend and 7th Holder Nana Shimura. Torino thinks he was responsible for killing Shigaraki (he really wasn’t let's be real). He also tells Deku that Deku shouldn’t be so persistent in saving Shigaraki as killing can sometimes lead to salvation. Ok, few things:

1. I am surprised Grand Tarino is still alive. I mean, we don’t know what happened to him after this talk, but at least he got to hear from Deku again. It’s kind of nice to know that Tarino willingly passed down his cape to Deku too instead of Deku just taking it after his death. Also, I’ve been watching some of Jujutsu Kaisen like everyone else has and this give me some Yuji & his grandfather vibes to it. Knowing what happens there and that JJK’s magaka is good friends with Horikoshi, I have a sinking feeling I know what happened after this talk...

2. Deku looks so much older here. Like, it’s not that cute, innocent baby face we knew at the beginning. I don’t even know what it is exactly (maybe the eyes), but he just looks more mature here. Also, his uniform some buttons down looks really good on him, I’m sorry but I need to mention that too 💚.

3. “Killing is a means towards salvation”. Oh, boy... I mean, I get it. Some people just can’t be saved or captured in hopes of rehabilitation/redemption. Sometimes killing people is necessary to save others. But, Deku is not a killer. He will try to save Shigaraki no matter what. That was established again last chapter. He tried to save Muscular for god’s sake. But, I am curious if Gran Tarino’s words are going to hold any weight in the final fight. Like, will Deku have to kill Shigaraki? What will that do to Deku as a person? I’m really curious if Horikoshi is going to make Deku do this.

And finally, there’s a page showing off the Top 3, Deku, and All Might team up with the resolve to beat the LoV. I am really interested to see where this goes. Deku is working with the big Pro Heroes instead of his classmates/friends. This hasn’t really happened before. I also wonder if Shoto and Bakugo know what Deku’s doing then. Because Shoto’s going to help Endeavor and his family find Dabi. Endeavor’s activley helping Deku. Also, Endeavor and Best Jeanist are both Bakugo’s mentors. All Might too actually. Look, maybe I’m making excuses to see my Origin Trio together again, but I do have to wonder if Shoto and Bakugo are involved somehow.

Welp, that’s it. This chapter was a rollercoaster! I was excited, I was confused, I was worried, I cried my eyes out at one point because THOSE TWO PANELS I CANNOT 💔😭! I’m honestly just waiting for Horokishi to drop some major time-skip on us at some point. I don’t want him to, but I won’t be entirely surprised if he does. The end of this chapter is a good place to end if Horikoshi wants to segway into something else like, oh IDK, THE UA KIDS LET ME SEE THEM AGAIN HORIKOSHI PLS I’M BEGGING 💸

Me @ Horikoshi almost every week:

47 notes · View notes

astrovian · 3 years

Text

the official ranking of Claude Becker outfits

the official ranking of Daniel Miller outfits here

the official ranking of Adam Price outfits here

all Claude Becker outfits & rankings under the cut

we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah

after two of these rankings, this outfit is the physical embodiment of a yawn

I do appreciate the patterned tie to change things up a tad even if I’m not into the pattern itself. the intent is there, just not the execution

I will give props to the team for giving Claude a patterned dress shirt here (you have to squint a bit on the second image - more on patterned dress shirts later), but they really should have upped the game a little - change the tie & be less subtle with the shirt pattern

and I ask you, does Claude Becker not strike you as a man who would insist on at least a pocket square with his suits?? dream bigger stylists

3/10

@whoever stores old movie props if these weren’t disposed of immediately after filming i will pay you for a copy of one of these

putting aside the hilarious social commentary and fucking literal writing on this magazine cover done by some poor prop designer at 2am (”How to starve artists and other capitalist things”, as well as ”Claude Becker rolls up his shirtsleeves and unties his tie and puts on a vest and casually hangs his hands from his pockets” etc.), this is a nice change-up that made me question why we don’t have RA in just a waistcoat and dress shirt more often

also that tie pattern? fab. I love it. that is how to do a patterned tie. I hope we all know RA looks good in a suit, blah, blah, blah is paying attention

that being said, minimal points because we don’t actually see Claude wearing it in real life

4/10

where, oh where is my polo shirt? oh look, it’s right there

is there any RA character who is not afflicted with a polo shirt? not recently, apparently

I genuinely thought that it was a dress shirt for a moment which had me disappointed at the banality but then that turned into utter devastation as I realised we actually are looking at a long sleeve zip up polo shirt

the draping of the coat? phenomenal and what really brings this entire thing together

the long/three-quarter sleeves? the zip-up rather than buttons? better than one can normally expect from a polo shirt... and then they went and added stripes to the collar and sleeves?? regret

could be a lot worse but could ultimately also not be a polo shirt as well 4.5/10

could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class

I’m sure you all know my long-sleeve shirt obsession with RA but I made a promise to be honest with myself on these lists. the only feeling this outfit evokes is a ‘eh’

the equivalent of a middle slider 5/10

the Claude you’d actually have a fun day with

there’s something about RA in a hoody that just bangs. good lord I also have a weakness for those forearms

I also thought for a good moment these were dark jeans, but they disappointingly turn out to be sweatpants? however, it has made me think that we need to see RA in some darker denim shades more often

this Claude is could have tried harder during lessons but was a pleasure to have in class but with just a little more fun and class to boost it *just* outside of the ‘eh’ zone

5.2/10

now this is how we do a long-sleeved shirt

I think it’s been fairly well-established by now that loose, long-sleeved RA is my ultimate weakness, so it’s nice to see that Ocean’s 8 is also making a concerted effort to murder me

also Claude’s obsession with sweatpants is giving me life

this is the Claude you make pasta with. and that pasta would be damn tasty, too

5.9/10

come hither

just-woken-up Claude is made 100x better by the bed head hair and the sleepy gaze

this man needs to get back into bed for a snuggle (preferably with me)

I can’t decide if I’m into the loose boxers or missing the tighter Adam Price undies. either way, it’s definitely not a bad aesthetic. and it reminds me, like dad chic Adam Price, that we don’t get enough of RA in shorts

I feel bad assigning numbers to a a shirtless one BUT Claude does transform into being fully-clothed in this scene so I’m going with it 6.4/10

you can kiss my hand anytime

the blessing of this film is not only the visual assault of attractive actors from all sides and genders, but it also instigates in me the thought that RA is wearing printed dress shirts and I can’t remember the last time I saw this?? I never even realised how much I need to see a lot more of this kind of look on RA until we were blessed with this vision

look at those lil’ elephants!! adorable. I hope Claude has a closet full of these with different animals on them

this outfit was so good, RA even wore it in his behind-the-scenes interview

7/10 for a printed, suited dream

the Claude you take home to mom & dad

god, it’s even better without the suit jacket

this is my honest appeal to the powers that may or may not be to put RA in more printed dress shirts

7.6/10

sometimes I think I should be more ashamed of myself

I feel like I need to preface this one thusly: okay, but like hear me out for real this time

I know this is ultimate hipster white-dude look and RA plays into that character so fantastically with Claude here. I mean just look at his expression. something about this whole look makes me want to simultaneously punch this man in the face and also take him home with me

this is a man who you know is a mistake before you make it, but choose to follow through anyway. he’s that last shot of tequila or the 5th glass of wine. you know you would go for him too. don’t even try to deny it

is the high ranking because of the novelty factor? is it because I’ve never seen RA wear a beanie like that and honestly the infamous running Daniel Miller could take notes? is it because I can’t take anyone who wears a beanie like that seriously?

all we do know is that I also can’t believe this is so high on the list

7.8/10

the moment we all learned Claude is 100% a bottom

one of the most iconic Claude moments in the film. RA plays the ‘dumb horny idiot’ character so well in this scene

not so into the pinstriped suit jacket but the hoodie peeking out from underneath combined with the thin scarf makes it for me

8/10

question: how may teeny-weeny scarves does Claude own, exactly?

who could forget the iconic moment when Sandra Bullock nearly shivs RA?

we have another printed dress shirt and I am HERE for it. it even has birds this time!! nice to see that Claude is not just a land mammal sort of man

I will concede that this is the sort of pattern that few men can pull off but RA is making it work and I am living

8.7/10

I’m not sure I can make a comment on this one that is even remotely appropriate except for “I told you Claude is a bottom”

safety first, buy some proper restraints for the bedroom please Claude/10

modern royalty au Thorin

this is the moment that every single Hobbit fan went “hell yeah, now I have the perfect new aesthetic for my modern royalty Hobbit AU” (as an avid lotr/hobbit fan, I am not joking here)

RA looks like royalty here because he should be. please sign my petition to have RA usurp the British Queen

for real though, that baby blue sash is the 1000% perfect added touch to this suit and we love RA in a baby blue. a decent (and clearly successful) effort to match the faux Met Gala theme: European royalty. however, it is also pretty accurate re: the imaginative effort that most men have with altering their Met Gala outfits to fit that year’s theme

we need more RA in ‘modern royal’ roles for the #aesthetic and also so that he can dress like this more often

9.3/10 for a princely (or dare I say kingly?) figure

James Corden looks so gleeful running after Claude that it makes me happy. I get it, James. I get it

there’s really nothing spectacular about the general outfit here - except for the swagger RA is giving this

pants? shirt? boring, meh

check scarf? a brilliant switch up from Claude’s normal thin scarves.

the popped coat? now we’re cooking

the sunglasses and wind-ruffled hair that screams “I’m hungover but I still look effortlessly handsome”? delectable

the dogs?? the best set dressing one could ask for

the attitude and ‘I’m too cool for you’ swagger? priceless and what makes this the second-best outfit of the whole film

9.6/10 this man could punch me and I would be grateful

hot diggity dog, someone get me Claude’s handcuffs

from the front view, it could be argued that this outfit (well, technically it may not really be a separate outfit as it’s the undone version of modern royalty au Thorin), while fairly exceptional, does not first place make

however, someone had the idea to shoot RA from a side angle in this and for that I am eternally in their debt

it’s all about the tease with this one. the glimpse of the suspenders (and holy shit, RA in suspenders was not a look I had thought about before). the way the waist coat hangs off Claude’s chest like that, just enough to make its presence obvious. the cufflinks. the delicate pocket watch chain.

if previous outfits on this list have been all sex and swagger, this is the foreplay. the subtle strip tease.

10/10

#thanks for the responses to my photoshoot query y'all I think that is next #though it might be a two-parter given the volume of photoshoots #then thinking lucas north after that #hoping to get photoshoots pt. 1 done next week sometime anyway #but who knows because good ol' Boris Johnson is sending me back into an unsafe environment to teach germ-riddled teens very shortly #so I need to spend some serious time doing prep work for that over the coming week #let's pray I don't catch covid from the kids until I can get vaccinated in summer!!!#based on previous experiences I give it 1 & 1/2 weeks before us teachers start dropping like flies #ANYWAY #richard armitage #claude becker #ocean's 8 #ocean's eight #oceans 8 #oceans eight

42 notes · View notes

mercuryislove · 3 years

Note

6 for Anwei, 10 for Yixing, and 30 for Ciaran and Sihla please 😊

once again I feel like I have said a whole lot of words with actually answering any of the questions at hand... please forgive me ._.

6. Do they like being reminded of home?

If by “home” you mean the past or like her childhood home then... only sometimes. Very rarely? It's complicated. Anwei pretends not to be sentimental about what life was like before, but deep down she still longs for that familiarity. She wasn't nearly as close to her mom as Ciaran was (and neither of them were close to their dad because he was um. largely absent), and looking back she still beats herself up about not cherishing the time with her they had. And sometimes in casual conversation, Ciaran will bring things up like “oh, this is just like the time when we were kids when Mom did xyz” or “Mom used to say things like that all the time” or “Mom would have loved this [completely mundane thing lol]” and some part of her gets like... resentful, maybe? She's jealous in a way that he doesn't feel the ache for the old times like he does. She's jealous that he remembers all those little details about their old life, while she only remembers stupid shit written in the margins of her college textbooks or some song on the internet that went viral when she was thirteen or the mnemonic devices she used to learn all the bones and muscles in the human body. She doesn't care about those parts. She wishes she could remember more important things. Like her mom's favorite color or the way their childhood home smelled after a summer vacation or the name of her favorite restaurant down the street. So like. to not answer the question at all, no lol. It mostly just makes her sad to think about home and how she can never go back again :(

10. Are they very sentimental, or perhaps just selectively?

Yixing has nothing to be sentimental about in his life. Well, he does have a few things, but he doesn't think so, and all of the things he would get sentimental about are tarnished by the abuse he's suffered at the hands of others. When he hears other people talk about their nostalgic feelings about childhood, he's just like “Hm. Can't relate. In fact, I wish I could erase every memory of my childhood from my brain!” Much like Anwei, he just gets fucking sad about shit instead of ever getting sentimental. Wait, would it be called sentimentality if you're like. mourning for the things in life you never got to have growing up? Like a well-adjusted family and fond memories of your youth? Because if that counts, then he absolutely is sentimental about everything ever. Sometimes he sees fathers with their young sons and sees how much they care for each other and has to like. hold back tears (or go sit on his horse for a minute lol) because that is what his life was supposed to be like. He was supposed to have someone who loved him and taught him right from wrong and protected him from the evils of the world and supported him and nurtured him and showed him how to be a good person, and... well. His father didn't do any of that. If anything he did the exact opposite. And sometimes Yixing gets really bitter about it because he didn't deserve that, and leaving when he did was the best thing he could have done, but still. He likes to imagine what it could have been like.

(Seriously though, the only things he ever truly thinks fondly of when looking back is how on nights when it was cool outside, he would sneak out of the house and go hang out with the horses in the barn and read by candlelight.)

30. How do they feel about the passage of time? Do they feel old too soon? Are they content to let days go past without recognition?

I've talked before about how the passage of time makes me personally feel insane and yes I do project all that onto my little fictional gay people because how else am I supposed to cope with the ever shifting sands of time?!

A long time ago, it didn't bother Ciaran. There was a glossy sheen to the realization of “oh fuck I'm going to live forever” and years and eventually decades passed, and it never bothered him to watch the first and second generations of survivors of the actual end of the world grow old in what felt like the blink of an eye to him. He was so distant from people back then anyway. Then the years continued to fly by and immortality had lost its shine, and he had the grim realization that he couldn't keep people at arm's length forever. They needed him and Anwei, whether he liked it or not! So he slooooowly started to warm up to the idea of letting people get close again, and eventually opened himself up to like. loving and caring for people (and letting people love him) in the short time they had to know him. (And as we know, that works out very well for him and everything is hunky-dory for a long time until he starts to care for people a little too much and then he meets a certain someone that really throws a fucking wrench in the works, and everything kind of goes downhill from there lmao) And if you go WAY back to when he like. mortal or whatever, he absolutely led a very yolo kind of life. Like. Oh fuck I will only be young and beautiful and relevant for so long so I might as well fuck up my body while my liver can still handle it!! And god he was insufferable for it. Some of that still comes through but he isn't (usually) as reckless/self-destructive about it.

MEANWHILE Sihla does not even consider time. She used to. She used to be anxious like Ciaran about how she would outlive everyone she ever loved, but then she met Anwei and was like “nevermind lol fuck everyone else I only need her,” which was, well... an interesting outlook on life. And when that ended horribly because [redacted], she got to enjoy the luxury of being trapped alone to die every day for a couple of centuries, and that's when she quit caring about, uh, anything really. (omg she did like spongebob and cleared her mind of everything except fine dining and breathing) Except maybe exacting revenge on the two people that put her there (gee I wonder who that could be). And before this all happened back when she was just a regular person, she was high strung and SCARED of the passage of time. The world as it was before wasn't particularly great, and there were always growing anxieties about the devastating effects of war and climate change and complete apathy from gods who were very real (and who could definitely put a stop to the suffering with the wave of a hand), and she was just an elementary school teacher trying to like. come to terms with the fact that many of her students could hardly afford food and clothing. And she and her wife had their own woes with trying to raise a young child in a world that could barely sustain them. Every day was a fucking struggle but it was also a gift, and she tried her hardest to make the important things count.

#oc talk #once again i am projecting all my ISSUES onto my fictional gay people #how else am i going to work through this shit? therapy??? no way. i'm broke

5 notes · View notes

staticscreenwriting · 4 years

Text

Casual moths - chapter eleven

Find the other parts on my masterlist here.

If you liked this part and wanna help me out, please consider a reblog. Thank you.

Chapter eleven - old wounds and guilt

There’s a before and an after and the two are as different as day and night.

Before Daisy was taken and after. Everything that happened before is still fresh on her mind, distinctive and clear. Everything after is a blur. A mess of people coming and going and asking questions. The police, the club, all her neighbours and friends and family.

And all Callie can do is stare and blame herself because all of this? Her baby being taken and possibly in danger and definitely scared? That is all her fucking fault.

They’d been out searching all day, until the sun had set and it got too dark to continue searching. And now she’s here, sitting on her mother’s couch with a mug of hot steaming coffee in hand. Coffee she won’t drink. She can’t drink. Can’t eat. Can’t sleep. Life is altered so drastically and nothing matters anymore. Only Daisy. Finding Daisy. Saving Daisy.

From Callie’s own faults and shortcomings.

Angel’s been an absolute Angel in all of this, a rock to lean on and a lifesaver to keep her head above water. If it wasn’t for him she surely would’ve drowned. It’s just so scary now to look at him, look into his eyes and see the adoration he holds for her and all the pain they share right now. He shouldn’t be adoring her, not like this. Daisy is gone because of her. Because Callie made bad decisions, selfish ones and dangerous ones. Angel deserved someone less foolish.

He’s gone now, back at the clubhouse. They’d all come around, member’s whose names she didn’t even remember came by to offer their help. The ladies had brought food, more than she could eat, more than she would eat. Everyone came together. A big loyal family who had each other’s backs. It was — very comforting and yet it didn’t stop Callie’s heart from breaking.

“ We’re going to find her. I know it, “ he mother’s soothing voice speaks up from beside Callie, a soft hand being placed on her shoulder. The warmth in her mother’s eyes is something Callie will never grow tired off. It’s so familiar and comforting and — it’s home.

But there’s only so much comfort a mother’s touch can give. And it’s reached its limit right here.

“ Travis is unpredictable, mom. I don’t — I don’t know what he’s gonna — “

“ No! Stop that. Don’t say that and don’t even think like that. The police are out looking for him and they will find him. I know it in my heart and have I ever been wrong? “

Callie can recall plenty of times her mother’s been wrong but this doesn’t seem like a question asking for a truthful answer. So Callie doesn’t say anything, just scoots closer to her mother and hopes that this time she is right.

Angel sits at the big table in Templo and though he knows he should be listening, though he tries to do so, he can’t. His mind is far away, all over the place. He should be out there looking for Daisy, turning over every stone, knocking on every door. Yeah, the police are on it but what good have they ever done in Santo Padre?

He feels so helpless sitting here. He should be doing so much but the rational part of his brain knows there’s nothing he can do right now. And yet he feels absolutely useless. What good has he ever done?

“ Angel? “ Bishop’s voice is strong and unwavering and yet it holds an unfamiliar gentleness right then. “ Look, I promise you, we’re gonna find her. We’re gonna do everything we can to find that little girl and bring her back home. Okay? They’re your girls, I know how much they mean to you.”

They are nice words, lovely sentiments, and Angel knows they are truthful and honest but he’s also aware that there’s no way Bush knows just how much these girls mean to Angel. They are his life and his entire heart and thought it’s insanely scary to admit those things, if not know then at what point will he ever be brave enough to face those feelings?

“ Yeah, I know. I just — can you guys manage without me for tonight I — “

“ We’re done here anyway. Go home to your woman, she needs you. “

Angel doesn’t have to be told twice. He’s up from his chair and out into the starless Santo Padre night in a matter of seconds. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be, he thinks as he swings himself onto his bike. Callie was supposed to be happy. Daisy was supposed to be safe.

Maybe, he thinks, he’s a bad luck charm after all. Nothing good ever happens to the people he loves.

When he arrives back at Callie’s mother’s house, the light is off and the house is silent and though he knows she needs to sleep, he wishes she would still be up so he could talk to her and make sure how she was holding up.

She’s on the couch, a cup of coffee forgotten on the table in front of her. Her eyes are closed though she doesn’t look as peaceful as she usually does. The exhaustion and the fear of everything that has happened today is displayed so distinctively on her face.

“ She fall asleep long ago? “ Angel asks as her mother steps back into the room. He wishes they could’ve met under different circumstances. That this wasn’t the situation they were bonding over. Alas, he gets no say in how life behaves and all he can do is try his best to prove to her and to himself that he is worth Callie’s time.

“ Wouldn’t really call it falling asleep, “ the older woman replies, “ exhaustion properly knocked her out. “

“ Glad she’s getting some rest at least.”

“ Yeah me too.”

They fall into a silence that’s neither comfortable nor awkward. It just is. A stillness to fill the void where there’s nothing left to say.

“ I should’ve kept a better eye on her. “

The words are spoken so gently and quietly he almost misses them though when he looks at Callie’s mom, the devastation on her face breaks his heart all over again.

“Ain’t your fault, the guy’s a nutcase. We’ll find her though. I will do — I will do anything. “

“ I know. I am glad she has you. Glad they both do.”

“ Yeah, I ain’t so sure about that. Feel like a bad luck charm sometimes.”

“ Oh Angel, you’re not. I promise you, you’re everything but bad luck. “

She hugs him then and it’s strange. This feels so familiar even though he hardly knows this woman. Maybe, Angel thinks, there’s a universal comfort in a mother’s hug. Maybe women are granted a bit of special magic when they become mothers.

She pulls away and they are thrown back into silence.

Angel’s mind won’t stop wandering though. He feels restless. There’s got to be something he can do, a way for him to help. Police are out looking for that silver car but what if he’s not in that car anymore. What if he switched cars, what if he’s gone too far to find him?

Then the spark of an idea lights up his thoughts. If anyone gets in or out of Santo Padre, there are people who notice, people who keep track of it. People who aren’t the most powerful nor the most influential but they come with strength in numbers and they have eyes and ears everywhere. If anyone will know, it’s them.

The thought of going back and asking for help, of seeing them, of seeing her, sends shiver’s down Angel’s spine. It’s really not something he wants to do, everything in him screams at him to stop even thinking about it. Then his eyes fall back on Callie and the way she looks pained and sad even in sleep. And he makes a decision. A sacrifice.

Because that’s what you do when you love someone, you make sacrifices. You do everything you can to help them, even if it means breaking your own heart in the process.

The unforgiving heat of the California sun weighs down on them as Angel maneuver’s Callie’s car through the dunes and the canyons. It’s insufferably hot and dry here and Callie feels like her lungs are filled not with air but with fire.

“ Police said to stay home.”

“ Yeah well police don’t know shit.”

He doesn’t want to be here but he knows that if he doesn’t at least try, he’s going to go insane. If anyone has a lead it’s them. It’s her.

His heart drops down to his feet just thinking about the last time he’s seen her. That exact moment when she broke his heart, ripped it out of his chest and then had the audacity to blame him for being upset. For a tiny moment he lets his mind wander back and conjure up images of what could have been, of what isn’t. Then he scolds himself for it. Why break your own heart all over again?

“ Who are we meeting with? “ Callie’s voice is monotonous and strained, like a robot working on autopilot.

“ They’re a — a collective. “

Callie raises her eyebrow in question.

“ Look, it’s hard to explain and It doesn’t really matter either. “

“ Are they powerful? “ an icy sheen lays over her words, something primal awakens. The need to protect her child.

“ Not in a sense that they have money or political influence but they’re well connected. They’ve got eyes and ears everywhere, all the way to Mexico. They’re good at finding people and — and hiding them. Even if they haven’t seen her, it’s good to let them know. Have them keep their eyes and ears open.”

Callie just nods then lets her eyes trail back towards the desert flying by the window, dry and orange and wide. So wide and empty. Kind of like her heart felt at the moment.

After a few more minutes of driving, they round a corner only to be greeted by a bunch of tents and a crowd of people, mostly children, bustling around them. Callie doesn’t know what to think, none of this makes sense to her but then again, Angel never gave her a reason not to trust him or not trust his choices. And her brain feels like mush anyway right now so really, what does she know. If there’s a chance they can help her get Daisy back, she’s going to take it. Whatever it takes she’ll do it. Police said to stay home but how do they expect her to sit on her ass and do nothing? She can’t. Not when all of this is her fault in the first place.

Angel gets out of the car first, then motions for her to follow. There’s an energy exuding from him that she’s not familiar with. He’s tense and on guard, like a nervous dog, a wolf prowling through the woods knowing there are other predators lurking around every corner.

Callie is acutely aware of all the eyes on them. Those kids, she wonders if they live here too. Wonders where their parents are. Living in a tent city can’t be good for them, right? Then again, it’s her kid that’s been kidnapped. The kid that had been taken from her own comfortable bed with the Minnie mouse nightlight.

“ Angel? “

A lady steps out of the crowd, and she’s gorgeous. Her long hair are tied in a ponytail and show off her intricate tattoos like beautiful artwork up and down her neck and shoulders. At first, her eyes are fixed on Angel as a sense of confusion washes over her face. Then she looks at Callie and her eyes gloss over with coldness and disdain.

“ What are you doing here, Angel? “

“ I need your help.”

“ My help? “ she asks and lets out a mix between a scoff and a laugh though Callie can tell there’s absolutely no humour in it.

“ Yes. I — We need your help. This is Callie, “ he hesitates, “ my girlfriend. Her daughter, Daisy, got taken. Dude who took her is probably driving around in a silver car. I need you all to keep your eyes open. I need to know if you see something, anything. Got pictures of the both of them too so you’ll recognize them if you see them. Please. “

Angel hopes that Adelita can tell how important this is to him. That this means — everything. As he hands her the pictures, she just looks at him, evaluates the situation. She doesn’t say anything just stares and it makes him nervous. She doesn’t owe him any more than he does her. Really she doesn’t need to help him, there’s nothing in it for her. But Angel knows that despite what he did to her, there’s a soft spot in her heart for children and he prays to got he can appeal to that spot right now.

“ Please Adelita. She’s my girl. They’re my girls.”

Adelita looks at him then Callie then the picture of Daisy and back at Angel. Her expression unreadable. Then her eyes wander towards a tent next to them. It’s a bigger tent than the other ones, there’s a bed in there and crates filled with fruits and tins and there’s toys on the floor and a girl, not older than 14, holding a toddler in her arms. Angel’s heart shatters once again as he looks at the child and then meets Adelita’s eyes.

“ Let me ask you something, Angel. Why now ?”

“ What do you mean? “ he knows exactly what she means.

“ Why can this child have your heart when it’s not yours but mine couldn’t. “

It’s astounding, really, her inability to understand what it was that broke his heart in the first place. Not the kid but the lies.

“ I could’ve loved the kid, Adelita. But you lied to me. You made me believe I was gonna be a dad when you knew it wasn’t mine. Had you told me from the start, things could’ve been different, but you lied. You played me for a fool. Just like anyone and everyone else did. “

“ So it was because I hurt your pride? “

“ Nah. Was because you lied to me and pretended to give me something I always wanted only for me to find out months later that it was all bullshit. It was the lies, Adelita, not the baby.”

Angel can hear Callie take a sudden breath beside him. He knew this was a can of worm and now that it’s open he can’t do anything but hope things will work out in the end. He just hadn’t expected his old wounds to still hurt this much.

“ So will you help us or not? “

She contemplates for a moment, looked between Angel and Callie then nods. “Not for you, for the girl.”

“ God knows she deserves it more than me.”

“ No doubt about it. “

“ No doubt about it.”

“ Why are you mad? “

“ I’m not mad. “

The sun has warmed up the car so drastically, it now resembles a sauna but the mood feels as icy as a Siberian winter.

“ You haven’t said more than 2 words to me since we got back in the car. “

Callie combs her fingers through her hair in exhaustion before letting out n exaggerated sigh.

“ I am tired, Angel. Tired and exhausted and sad and scared. I feel useless and helpless and my mind and my emotions are all over the place and then you take me to see your ex-girlfriend with whom you almost had a child. Something you never spoke of before and like, I get it, it’s a touchy subject but you could’ve at least mentioned it earlier today. “

“ Do you really wanna fight about this right now? “

“ I’m not fighting. You asked me what was wrong. I just want to find Daisy. “

“ And we will! I promise you, baby. We will. “

“ I don’t — god, Angel I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know anything anymore. It’s like my brain is completely empty. I don’t wanna fight and I don’t wanna bottle up the things that hurt me either. Can you — can you just drop me off at home so I can pack some of my stuff. I’ll stay with my mom, you can come around later if you want. “

He doesn’t wanna come around later. He wants to stay with her, every waking minute. One of his girls is already missing her can’t bear the idea of something happening to the other one. But this is her way of saying she needs a bit of space to breathe and denying her that will only push her further away.

“ Okay, but can you please text me every like 30 minutes? Just so I know you’re okay? Would tell EZ to come shadow you but he’s out with the guys looking for Daisy.”

“I’ll be fine but yes, I’ll text you.”

“ Promise? “

“ I promise. “

She gives him a kiss and it’s soft and sweet and for a second life feels normal again but then she pulls away and he’s faced with the overwhelming sadness in her eyes and reality comes crashing back down on them.

“ Once she’s back and things are good again, you and I need to have a talk. We’re gonna be okay though, you and I. I promise.”

He kisses her again, once twice, three times, then lets her go. Angel watches her unlock the door and drag her tired body inside her house. If only he knew what was behind those doors.

#angel reyes fanfic #angel reyes x oc #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes imagine #mayans mc imagine #mayans imagine #mayans mc fanfic #mayans fanfic #mayans mc fanfiction #casualmothsstory

16 notes · View notes

somekindoftuber · 5 years

Text

vld youtuber AU (klance, part 3)

part one | part two

(I don’t think I clarified it in parts one and two but Lance and Pidge are roommates. Lance finished college two years ago)

After spending the weekend with Shiro and Keith, everything seems a little brighter.

Lance has an extra spring in his step that annoys the hell out of Pidge. He plays Overwatch with Keith at least twice a week, and they make a devastating team when they’re playing to win. Keith plays with a fiery, single-minded focus that would probably be scary if Lance wasn’t already crushing on him. So instead it’s just insanely attractive, the way Keith sounds when he’s barking out orders to the team. He’s a natural leader and Lance is stupidly eager to follow.

It’s time for Lance to make a trip home to Cuba to see his parents and he’s so excited, he only gets to go home every few months. It’s only for a week, but Pidge will take care of his cats. He mentions to Keith that he’ll be out of town and won’t be available to play for a bit.

Lance makes some vlogs while he’s home, and does them in Spanish because why not? He bets a lot of his followers don’t even realize he’s Cuban and this is his chance to show off his home. It takes a whole night to add the English subtitles because he doesn’t trust YouTube’s auto CC feature not to garble his words, but it’s worth it when he sees the outpouring of comments on the video, a lot of them in Spanish. He gets one from Shiro complimenting him left and right and it makes Lance blush and flail a little.

He spends every other minute with his family, teaching his nephew how to play the ukulele and cooking with his mom and he’s so happy to be home, he cries a little when it’s time to catch his flight back to the states.

He gets in an Overwatch game with Keith the night he gets back, and he tries not to be annoying but it’s hard not to gush about his trip over the mic. He’s halfway through telling Keith about some sea turtles he saw on the beach when he’s interrupted.

“I know, Lance. I saw the photos on twitter.”

Lance blinks. “Uh. You did?”

Keith seems unfazed and triggers his ultimate, taking out half the enemy team. “Yeah? I follow you.”

And oh my god, Keith follows him on twitter. Keith follows him on twitter. He’s suddenly freaking out that he might have tweeted about Keith?? But no, his account is public and he knows better. “Oh, uh.” Lance almost gets taken out by a Sombra. “Your account is set to private, so it didn’t tell me you were.”

“Oh.”

Lance is panicking a little because he wants to ask if he can follow Keith on twitter but is that too much? What if he keeps his account locked for a reason? What if that’s too forward? What they have is cool and he doesn’t want to fuck it up--

“You can follow me,” Keith says, quiet. “All I ever post is bikes and photos of Kosmo, though.”

Lance hopes the sound of his chair squeaking as he bounces in it doesn’t come through the mic. “I could always use more dogs on my timeline,” he says, trying his best to sound nonchalant. They play for another hour and then Keith yawns, saying he has to work early tomorrow. Lance bids him goodnight, then manages to wait until he’s brushed his teeth and gotten ready for bed before hitting the “follow” button on Keith’s twitter, @k_redlion. He then opens discord on his phone and goes to the chat with Hunk.

LanceyLance: HUNK HE SAID I COULD FOLLOW HIS LOCKED TWITTER LanceyLance: HUNK LanceyLance: SEND HELP

When Lance wakes up, all he’s gotten from Hunk is a few party popper emojis. He checks to see if Keith accepted his request and he totally did. Lance spends a half hour just scrolling through the mysterious secret twitter, and Keith wasn’t lying. It’s just photos of motorcycles in progress, his dog, occasionally Keith taking an adorable selfie with Kosmo. Sometimes a photo of a sunrise. He checks Keith’s profile and sees his birthday is in late October and Lance has to laugh. Of course he’s a Scorpio. Of course. Keith has less than 40 followers and Lance sort of feels blessed.

He manages to stop himself from liking a five month old tweet where Keith is smiling up at the camera with Kosmo out cold on his lap. Just barely.

July finally hits and it’s disgustingly hot, but it’s always Lance’s favorite month for several reasons:

More excuses to get ice cream,

More excuses to hit the beach,

It’s his birthday month,

It’s the month of Harborville Pride.

Pride comes first and Pidge is excited too, because the college town of Harborville might not have much to offer other than the university, but it definitely knows how to put on Pride. The city park becomes crammed with people for days, food trucks lining the streets with picnickers and grills and ultimate frisbee (which Lance is no slouch at). The marina becomes packed with boats. Most importantly, it means Hunk is coming into town for the weekend, so Lance will get to hang out with his two best friends like they used to - stay up late, watch movies, stuff themselves on junk food and Hunk’s homemade cookies.

The day of the parade (the first one, anyway) is a Saturday morning. Lance and Pidge wake up Hunk from where he’s camping on the sofa and they all get dressed, Lance in his blue, pink, and purple sleeveless shirt, Pidge in her black, white and purple hoodie, Hunk in his pink, yellow, and blue tee. Pockets stuffed with small cash bills for funnel cakes and hot dogs, they set off for the town center.

The parade is amazing this year and they have a blast. Lance convinces Pidge and Hunk to be in a selfie with him that he posts to twitter with the caption, “Having a blast at Harborville Pride!!” Lance then puts his phone away and doesn’t really check it for the rest of the day, having too much fun with Pidge and Hunk and all his other friends.

He’s exhausted when he comes home, collapsing into bed. He manages to open twitter and check it one last time before he passes out. His notifications blew up, of course, but one sticks out.

@k_redlion liked your photo

He kicks his feet a little. So it’s out there, Keith’s saw the colors he wore. Was it too forward? Did Lance unintentionally broadcast his crush on twitter? Maybe. Who knows how Keith would take that information. Lance passes out with his phone in his hand.

He’s in a queue for a game in Overwatch with Keith when it comes up again. Lance was casually talking about a band he saw at Pride.

“Sounds like fun,” Keith comments. “Pride sucks here. One tiny parade and then everyone just goes home.”

There’s a record scratch in Lance’s brain. Does that mean…?

“You should come here next year,” Lance says as evenly as he can. “Harborville knows how to party.”

He hears Keith huff a laugh. “Maybe.”

Lance sucks so bad after that, missing all his shots and dying more times than ever. He’s too distracted. Keith goes to Pride. What did that mean? It could mean so many things. He shouldn’t get his hopes up, he really, really shouldn’t.

“You okay?” Keith’s voice comes through his headphones. “You’re sort of sucking tonight.”

Lance feels a wave of hot embarrassment wash over him. “Ugh, yeah, sorry. Guess I’m just tired.”

He stops playing after that, saying goodnight to Keith and resisting the urge to scream at Hunk over discord about it.

Pidge is taking one of her high level classes over the summer so she can graduate in December, so she has little time to hang out with Lance. So he’s bored. A lot. Work at the cafe has slowed down, the only customers he gets are dying for cold brew coffee. He makes a lot of videos, records a lot of comedy Overwatch material, sings some covers of love songs for his channel. He goes to the beach a lot and posts selfies on twitter, making sure to showcase himself while also trying to remember that he has a few thousand followers and he should be careful what he posts. Lance starts playing some free games from Game Jolt for his channel and it gets a good response. His birthday is right around the corner, and though it’s on a Tuesday, Pidge promises to take the night off to celebrate with him. Hunk is going to make the drive in too.

He’s scrolling through twitter on a rainy night when Pidge kicked him out of the living room to spread out her study materials. There’s a photo of Keith smiling softly with Kosmo on his feed and Lance takes a minute to appreciate it, the warm lighting complimenting Keith’s ridiculously attractive cheekbones, Kosmo with his giant tongue hanging out as Keith hugs him. It’s adorable and Lance hits the like button immediately. He’s about to keep scrolling when something catches his eye. Lance sits up and taps the photo, using his fingers to zoom in.

There’s a rainbow bracelet on Keith’s wrist.

It’s almost hidden under Kosmo’s neck fluff but it is absolutely a rainbow, exactly the kind you’d get at Pride and Lance is about to hit the ceiling. It couldn’t be a coincidence. Could it? They’d talked about Pride like three days ago and Keith liked a photo of Lance in his bi shirt and holy shit. Was this a hint? Lance already liked the photo. He could take it back, but he didn’t want to?

Lance rolls around on his bed clutching his phone to his chest for the next ten minutes before opening discord to gush at Hunk yet again. Hunk, apparently, is getting fed up.

Hunk: omg just talk to him!! LanceyLance: i cANT Hunk: Lance you know I love you but this is painful to watch, just ask him out already. please. for me?

But Lance is scared. What if he’s reading too much into this? What if he’s only seeing a connection because he wants there to be one? It wouldn’t be the first time he’s made that blunder, cringing as he remembers Nyma and the huge falling out that resulted from Lance charging in head first. He couldn’t even repair their friendship after that.

He didn’t want to risk losing Keith, too.

July is winding down and it’s almost time for his favorite birthday tradition: an all-day charity livestream. This will be the third year he’s done them, and he’s expecting the response to be even better this year. It takes him a while to decide on a charity - he’s done a children’s hospital, first responders, local charities. Lance spends days trying to decide when it hits him. The next day, he makes the announcement tweet:

Lance! @LancyLance • 2m Hey guys!! Doing a birthday charity livestream on Saturday 7/25, 10am-10pm to benefit Disabled Veterans National Foundation! Will be playing Overwatch, Risk of Rain, Apex Legends and more!!

He goes about his day, feeling pleased. Later he checks twitter and sees that Shiro has retweeted his announcement with a comment, “Make sure to check out my buddy’s livestream next week! This charity means a lot to me.”

And wow does that make his day.

For the next week it’s business as usual. Work at the cafe (his latte art is getting better, but Lance keeps photos of that work sequestered on Instagram), recording videos, singing in Overwatch, playing games with Keith and Hunk. Lance can tell that Hunk is trying to push him to make a move on Keith, but he’s still reluctant. Keith hasn’t really indicated that he’s interested in Lance at all. Sure, they’re casual with each other, but there hasn’t been anything he could classify as “flirting.” Even though he’s opened up, Keith is still stoic as hell and Lance hasn’t figured out how to crack him.

It’s the Saturday of his livestream and Lance is loaded up with snacks, drinks, and everything he needs. He’s set up his room to have a fun backdrop and did his full skincare routine to make sure he looks good for the webcam, he even borrowed some fancy diffuser lights from a friend.

The stream starts and he gets about 30 viewers in the first hour, which is a good start. By noon he’s up to 400 which is insane, and the donation counter keeps going up. He set his goal to a thousand, and it’s looking like he’ll reach it before dinner. Lance takes song requests from viewers and has more than one laughing fit. When he gets into an Overwatch game, he’s thrilled to see Keith there, and shoots him a quick text to make sure it’s cool for Lance to point him out.

Keith (2:18): yeah it’s cool

So Lance introduces Keith and his chat goes nuts. Apparently Keith is crazy popular and Lance can’t help but notice how many declarations of “omg Keith is so hot” are scrolling past. They play a few serious rounds where Keith dominates everyone, then Lance creates a custom server with no cool down time on abilities and zero gravity. He uses it as an opportunity to do more comedy songs. Lance takes a short break, and when he comes back, Keith has signed off. There’s a text on his phone from Keith reading “gotta work on some stuff.”

He’s in voice chat later when some girls come on with mics and they know his channel. They’re thrilled to be in a game with Lance.

“Lance! I love your videos!”

“Sing a song for me, Lance!”

“Lance, I love you! Marry me!”

He laughs at the last one, playing his guitar. It’s not the first time he’s gotten a mock marriage proposal in a game. “Sorry, ladies,” he answers, strumming on his guitar. “I’m afraid my heart is spoken for.” He’s talking about his massive crush on Keith, of course, but no one needs to know that.

There’s some “aww” and “boos” but they don’t actually sound hurt, so Lance keeps going. He switches to Apex Legends which he’s spectacularly bad at, but he still has fun. By seven that evening, they’ve met their goal of one thousand dollars, but Lance encourages people to keep donating.

He’s exhausted by the end of it, but at 9:50pm Lance does his exit speech, thanking everyone who donated, thanking his friends who played with him, and taking a second to thank Keith by name. He hopes Keith is still watching.

Lance falls into his bed and sends a quick text to Keith to thank him. He doesn’t get a response.

CONTINUED IN PART 4

#youtuber AU #klance #text

887 notes · View notes

thepanofyourkitchen · 4 years

Text

you know what i find annoying? the way fanfiction (and, let's be honest, canon as well) portrays young Sirius, his childhood and what he would be like on that first day of Hogwarts

let me explain - from what i've seen Sirius is shown as his Griffindor rebel self since the very beginnig, hating his abusive racist parents and being perfectly nice and tolerant to everyone and while that's a nice concept, it's also a pretty unlikely one

i just hate the trope about sirius' parents being abusive from the moment he was born. it makes no sense. sirius is their firstborn, the heir to their family and perfectly pureblood child. i believe they loved him and regulus, that they spent time with him when they could, taught him magic, went on family trips. that his early childhood was good and his family seemed perfect. doesn't it make it even more painful later when it all falls apart? imagine little sirius who used to be happy at his own house and never knew what it meant to be afraid. his mother would call him "darling" , smile at him like he brought her sun and sing him lullabies when he couldn't sleep. his father would ruffle his hair and tell him how proud he was of him whenever sirius would get a spell right and maybe even show him some quiditch ("but don't tell your mother, alright son?") there would never be any big scary talk before hogwarts - no threats of disowning, no harsh words, only encouragement and "oh, Orion, our Sirius is a big boy now, when did that happen?" spoken in soft voice by Walburga as she watched her son excitedly read the familliar looking letter, tears in her eyes but smile on her face. it's not that they don't care about his house - they do, but in their minds there is just no way their son will go anywhere else than Slytherin, it's as obvious as magic in their veins, the thought he might be anywhere else never even crosses their minds. they never say "you will be in Slytherin or else...", they say "you will look great in green, honey" and sure, they warn him to behave and try to not dishonor their family, but it's lighthearted and Sirius just nods with a mischevious grin. they would walk him to the station, wish him good luck and say "you will write to us at least once a week" with a fake seriousness. then his mother would kiss his cheek, his father would hug him quickly and then they would wave at him until he was on the train.

only few days later they would get a letter and they would see "Griffindor" written in their son's handwriting and it will not be an insult. Walburga will say "i don't have a son anymore" in the coldest voice possible and toss the letter into the fireplace. Orion will do the same with any letter after that first one, never bothering to read them and never writing a reply. his wife never even asks about those letters, doesn't say their son's name out loud. soon letters just stop coming. christmas (or yule or whatever) is tense and cold this year in Blacks house, the absence of sirius more evident than they were expecting but never acknowledged, save for regulus complaining that his brother abandoned him and saying that he misses him and "mom, when will siri be home?" met with only a cold glare as an answer. when sirius is finally back for the summer there's no one at the station, only a house elf. his mother doesn't call him "darling" anymore. instead she calls him "a disgrace". they no longer smile at him like they used to - only glare and frown and snap - for the first time he's a stranger in his own house. for the first time he's afraid of his parents. he can't quite believe everything changed over one thing that doesn't even matter outside of school. suddenly his parents don't love him anymore and sirius doesn't know what to do.

and when regulus gets his letter next year there is not "you will look great in green" said in a warm loving tone. there is a harsh "you will be in Slytherin or else" so cold it almost freezes the bood in his veins.

i just think this version is so much more believable - and heartbreaking. it's logical that sirius' parents become abusive only after he did something to cause that. being sorted into Griffindor would do the trick. and well, it's one thing to be hated by your family for your whole life, but to have parents who loved you so much and then just stopped for no reason? devastating and traumatising. i imagine him being distraught and confused at first and later very angry at them which triggered his rebelliousness when he's older

the other thing that bothers me is how sirius is shown as pro-muggles and not racist at all from the first moment, even after being raised and brainwashed into the prejudiced thinking for his whole life

sirius is eleven. i don't know many children that age who would even understand the concept of racism, much less decide they disagreed with it without any reason at all. he was a boy whose parents always said only purebloods wers worth anything and anyone else was dirty and not to be associated with and why would they lie to him? they were his parents, they loved him and he loved them, they were so wise and surely right about everything, why would they say those things if they weren't true? sirius was a heir to the most ancient and noble pureblood family, he had probably never met a muggle or a muggleborn before Hogwarts, so how could he know what his parents told him was wrong? children believe what they're told at home with no second thoughts because there's just no reason for them not to. sure, he could be a bit more open minded than his family - maybe he was curious and secretly wanted to meet a muggle to see what was so awful about them? maybe he sometimes watched people on the street from his window and wondered what was so different about them that would make his parents hate them so much? i'm certain his belief in the blood supremacy would be completely superficial - just something his parents told him to be true and so he would repeat what they wanted, but didn't really understand it. like if someone asked sirius what did he think about wizards who befriended muggles he would answer they were blood-traitors without hesitation but he wouldn't be able to explain what this meant and why it was a bad thing. so i believe he would be a bit of an prejudiced asshole at first, even unintentionally, but at the same time would be very easy to convince that it's not the right thinking at all and that he would try to be better and fight what his parents taught him. i would even go as far as to say he would be casually offensive without meaning to - like using only the word mudblood to describe muggleborns. but not because he wanted to be mean but because that was the only word for people like them he was ever taught - do you honestly believe Blacks would call them muggleborns? i don't. so he's not perfect and he needs to learn but he will and soon he really will be the first to defend anyone discriminated against and probably the most ani-racist of them all - but he needs time

that's what bothers me about those "first train ride" fics

in my mind it would be like this: sirius boards the train sure he will be in slytherin, ready to avoid blood-traitors and mudbloods at all cost if only because he doesn't want to let his parents down (and his cousins would surely tell on him) (he might be planning to try and talk with one of the muggleborns anyway, in secret, to see if they are really that bad), but during the train ride something happens to change his mind - maybe he sees older slytherins bullying some little kid over his blood and gets defensive? maybe he meets james while he's trying out some prank and joins him because he's still sirius and they get along splendidly and wow he got a friend who's just like him and oh you're a Potter that's not good but then he's like "whatever i like you i don't care what my parents say"? maybe he sits in one comparment with remus and lily and they are both nice and smart and he likes them but then lily says something about her parents being muggles and sirius is shocked but listens to them while they explain blood doesn't matter and starts doubting his parents? anyway, after he arrives in hogwarts he's not sure what he wants anymore. slytherin seems cold and sharp and boring. griffindor seems fun. but his parents won't like it if he's not where they wanted. sorting hat sees sirius is not really bigoted, that he has a good heart and open mind but is a little misjudged and under bad influence and so it sorts him into griffindor. he still doesn't know what to think but his new roommates seem okay and maybe it wouldn't be so bad? it's just a house in the school, surely his parents won't be too upset about that?

and when few days later he gets a letter from his parents promising to disown him and saying he was not a Black anymore, sirius cries in james' arms until there are no tears left. he regrets going against their wishes, of course he does, because he's a child whose parents just told him they don't love him anymore. but there's a part of him that already knows his family was wrong about some things, that there's nothing he can do to change their minds and really, he likes being a griffindor. so maybe it wasn't 100% a mistake but it sure feels like it in that moment. james hugs him like his mother used to do and promises to be his new family if his old one was too stupid to see how wonderful sirius was. this night is the beginnig of an unbreakable bond between the boys, the friendship and love that would last for the rest of their lives. and that's good.

but it doesn't make anything right, not really

sirius struggles. he misses his family, he's hurt and confused, he doesn't undestand what he did wrong. he's a little kid and his family hates him - i can't imagine him being fine and unaffected by that because "he had never agreed with their viewes and didn't like them anyway" like it's often showed in fanfiction. sure, with years he starts to hate them to, he's furious and spiteful and will do everything to anger them and make them disappointed even more (but isn't it still kinda begging for their attention?) and Yes, with time he learns he's better off without them and he creates himself a new family. he does it all but it takes years and isn't easy.

but even after all those years, i feel like he still probably has some moments of weakness when he lies awake at night, remembering their last holidays before hogwarts and how happy he was and wishes his mother would call him "darling" again

#sirius black #harry potter #hp #sirius #Black family #hogwarts #rant #i'm ranting #i've read like thousand marauders fics and i'm bitter #i want my baby to have actual feelings and character development #i love sirius black and i would die for him #the sirius black rant you didn't know you needed

16 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years

Text

623

Do you actually think it's gross to talk about body functions? No, I’ve always thought it’s something that should be normalized. They’re just stuff that has to do with the body, it’s a natural thing. Would you rather sleep (zzz) alone or next to your SO? Sleeping with my girlfriend is always nicer. I wake up a couple times because she tends to put her head over mine or her legs over my entire body, but the sleep is just infinitely better. I’m more likely to sleep in, too. Are you trying to forget about something? Yes, actually. Thank you for being considerate. Have you ever sent a love letter? I don’t know what counts as a ~love letter, but I have handwritten several letters for my girlfriend over the years. When you look up at the sky do you ever NOT see a plane or vapor trail? Yes. Planes only come by every few hours where I live. They’d cross a lot more often in urban cities like Taguig or Pasay, which are right beside an airport.

Have you dated someone of another race? No. Probably worth nothing Gab is part Turkish but nevertheless, she identifies as Filipino. Do you wear any shoes with holes because you can't give them up? Not for that reason, but yeah I’ve done this. When I first started college, was horribly depressed, and didn’t care about my wardrobe just yet, I used to wear my super worn-out white Keds – the soles came off every time I took a step – because they were my only pair of sneakers and I didn’t care enough to get a new pair. When you go out to breakfast, what do you order? I never really get to do that because as a night owl, I hate going out for food too early in the day; but when my family does want to go out to get breakfast I like getting an Eggs Benedict. If we’re someplace simpler, I’m just as happy with pancakes with chocolate chips topped with whipped cream and peanut butter. Have you ever had a job that required a uniform? No. My internship company wasn’t strict and just asked me to report to work in smart casual. What's the best compliment you've gotten from a boss/teacher? I didn’t want to read my internship supervisor’s evaluation of me after I finished my stint but I got tempted to and felt great after – I don’t remember the exact words but basically she said she was astounded that I worked as well as I did for my age. That’s always nice to hear. As for high school, I was a bit of a headache for all my teachers so I never really got to hear compliments from any of them, which I deserve anyway. What's a weird or interesting nickname you gave someone? Does a dog count? :(( We’d sometimes call my dog Kimi ‘Kimi Chameleon’ inspired by the song Karma Chameleon. I’d occasionally call him Kimchi too. Is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? I’m not really sold on the idea of relying on a mantra when I’m in a stressful situation, because I don’t like the possibility of it disappointing me if I end up not getting what I want or if things don’t go my way. What are you most envious of? People born with loads of privilege. I won’t deny that I do have it myself especially in the Philippine context, but there’ll always be people who are one tier higher on this kind of tower, and I hate that. Do you have a friend with a habit that worries you? Tina is a workaholic and will literally forget to eat for 24 hours straight just trying to get a task done, and that is very worrisome. Would you rather have coffee, cocoa, tea, or soda? I have had had two cups of coffee today and zero water, so water would technically be the best option right now hahaha but it’s not in this set so I’ll go for the second best pick – cocoa. When you walk into your best friend's room, what do you smell? It smells like a clean bedroom with clean, fresh bedsheets. What can I say, their house helper keeps it very clean haha. Have you ever purposely broken something that belonged to a sibling? Nah, I’ve never been that spiteful even as a kid. Do you have any hipster friends? That’s not a term these days anymore but Gabie used to be a FULL-ON hipster. Everything about her four years ago just screamed it. Have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? No. Do you like to visit famous people's homes? I mean I’ve never done it. Do you take days off from shaving when you can get away with it? Yesssssssss it can be so much work, so I like days where I can skip it. What color do you see when you shut your eyes tight? Just black. How would you react if you found out your crush had a terminal disease? Drive over to their house right now, cry a lot, and stay with them all night. Has anyone ever baked you cookies? Our house helper used to bake me cookies everyday when I’d get home from school back when I was in elementary. At one point they discontinued whatever cookie mix it was that my mom would buy and that was the end of the cookie-baking as we knew it. Such a shame tbh because that mix was so delicious :( What's the lamest present you've ever given? I’d never call any present I get lame. If someone got me a gift, that’s enough for me. Would you rather eat free hotdogs or pizza you pay for yourself? Pay for pizza. I feel like I’d get tired of hotdogs eventually, especally because it isn’t even one of my favorite food. Do you ever wear socks with holes in them? No, cos none of the socks I own have them. Is there anything hanging on your bathroom walls? Not hanging, but either taped or sticky-tacked. If your SO agreed, would you want an open relationship? Never. Have you ever slept with three people in the same bed? When? Why? Yes. It was my 18th birthday, I spent it with close friends (at the time) at the Marco Polo, and we shared a bed because it’d be impossible to ask for like, six separate beds for one hotel room. Does your family regularly eat sit down meals together? Only when my dad is home. When it’s just my mom and us, we can go with eating separately. Which is a little sad, but that’s that. Who would you like to slow dance with? To what song? Gab. I’ve always found the song Turning Page by Sleeping At Last to be so moving, so maybe that. What's your favorite pet name someone calls you? Meh, I’m pretty basic. I get called baby, I respond positively lmao. If you could talk to one species of animal what woud it be? Dog. It’d be nice to know what mine thinks about on a daily basis, haha. What's the largest animal you've ever seen in person? Probably an elephant. Have you ever used the change counting machine at a store or mall? No, we don’t have that here and had absolutely no idea that those were a thing. The first time I ever learned about them was in Ellen Degeneres’ video of her and Michelle Obama going to like a Target or something, and I was so AMAZED. That must be so convenient. Would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? Yes. If you came with a warning label, what would it say? ‘Will probably ask to have some of your food’ Hahaha AT LEAST I ASK Have you ever tried to learn a language on your own? Yes. I honestly cannot tell you how many times I’ve downloaded-deleted-downloaded Duolingo to learn Spanish and Korean. Where do you keep your change at home? I don’t keep change at home, everything’s just in my wallet. Have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? It wasn’t very important but he did gnaw at my old radio’s cord. When I was in fifth grade I was very attached to my radio and him chewing at the cord was when I had to say bye to the radio. I wasn’t too devastated about it after, but I was still a little bummed of course. What's the best burger EVER? Pound’s Amsterdam Burger slaps harrrrrd. Did you ever show up late for an important event? Gab and I arrived embarrassingly late at a friend’s debut a couple of years ago. Our table definitely earned the right to give us death glares when we had finally arrived.

#survey #surveys

3 notes · View notes

multiplefandomfics · 5 years

Text

Reunion

So here is another oneshot of mine out of the walking dead universe. Hope you’ll like it.

pairing: Daryl x reader

warnings: smut, angst, fluff, separation

Summary: Daryl had been your boyfriend before the apocalypse started but you got separated at the beginning. so imagine the happiness when you meet him again in Alexandria. (sorry I suck at summaries so just enjoy reading).

The end of the world is a strange thing. Many people made movies about it but when you experience it firsthand it doesn't feel like an Edgar Wright film much. When the virus broke out I was at the supermarket with my mom. Let's just say she didn't make it far when the walkers came. It still hurts to talk about it even after so may months. I am still devastated and often I find myself alone, hungry and sleep deprived. Before the apocalypse I had a boyfriend. He was awesome I often wondered if he was still alive or if he was one of them now. On my journey I met people here and there but they all turned against each other eventually so I always left before I could get in the crossfire. The only reason I survived that long is that I am an excellent Archer and I know how to make my own arrows and such. My boyfriend used to be the best crossbow Archer I had ever seen and he taught me how to shoot. I am glad the walkers are so slow and dumb or I wouldn't stand a chance. I don't know how long exactly I stumbled around, scavenging goods in towns and killing walkers. I don't get much sleep because I have to be alert at all times or I will be walker food. I learned a lot on my trip through the wilderness. I had been camping with my dad a lot when I was a kid so I knew how to make a fire and skin animals to eat. But oh how much I miss driving through a drive through and just ordering a greasy burger and fries! Sometimes I am lucky enough to be able to secure a car to drive with until I run out of gas. That was another attribute my boyfriend taught me a long time ago. Hot wiring cars. That really comes in handy now.

I gotta say I came around. After years of running and hiding I am walking cautiously through a forest when I suddenly hear rummaging. It is strange because I hadn't seen a living human soul in ages. So I decide to slowly close in on the people. I am not sure who it is or how many. I am aiming my bow at the possible threat. As I arrive at a clearing I am immediately met with the sight of three people fighting a herd of walkers. There are about 15 of them. I don't know these people but I still decide to help. I have to. They would lose without me. The taller mans head shoots in my direction when one of my arrows whirres past it and hits in the eye of the walker behind him. After we killed the last one I slowly walk closer. I am still not sure what to think of them. "Thanks for your help." The taller man wheezes out. "I'm Rick, that's Michonne and my son Carl. And you are?" I eye them skeptically "(Y/N)" I answer hesitantly. "We have a secure base not far from here. Our car is parked at the street uphill. You wanna join us? We have food, running water and electricity." He asks me. After short consideration I speak up again: "I think a little relaxing time can't hurt. I have been on the run for far too long." " Good decision but I have to ask you a few questions before we take you in. Just to make sure you're not some serial killer." He laughs and proceeds "How many walkers have you killed?" "Far too many to count. Those bastards aren't human anymore." "How many people have you killed?" "Just one." "Why?" "It was my mom. Right after the apocalypse started we were in a supermarket and the walkers came bargin in. They bit her and tore her apart and I killed her to not let her suffer any longer." I am close to tears again. I hate it to appear weak. "I am sorry but we have to get back to the car before even more of them arrive." Michonne adds. So we make our way through the bushes to their minivan. I seat myself on the backseat of the car next to Rick's son Carl. "So how long have you been out there?" Rick tries to make casual conversation after the silence got too much. "Ehm pretty much since the start. I've been hopping through groups but they all sooner or later started to kill each other over leadership." I answer dryly. Then we fall into comfortable silence again until we reach our destination. A guarded town called Alexandria. I am really impressed by all of that. It is astonishing that they survived so long. The gate opens and we drive through. The car comes to a halt directly behind it and Rick parks it in line with some others. I hesitantly step out after the others. I have no idea what to expect. I still don't really know these people. Suddenly I hear a voice behind me whispering my name incredulously "(Y/N)? Is that really you?" I haven't heard that voice in years. I turn around "Daryl? I thought you were dead!" I am crying by now. I can't believe he is here. I found him. Finally. He races toward me and hugs me close. His smell is still the same as it always was. "I missed you so bad. Is this real?" I ask tears streaming down my face. "I love you baby and I'll never let you go again. Where were you when it broke out? I was at your house to get you and your mom but there was blood everywhere and I thought they had already got ya." He rambles worriedly.

"I was at the store. Mom didn't make it far. I had my gun with me. Wanted to head to the shooting range after to practise like you taught me. I had to shoot her. I went home shortly to get some things. My bow included and saw that the walkers had gotten my cat. That was probably the blood you saw." I am crying profusely now. Suddenly I notice everyone standing around staring at us. Some in confusion some in awe. "So you know each other?" Aaron asks to lighten the embarrassing mood. You can cut through the tension with a knife "yeah, we were a couple before shit went down." Daryl throws into the round. "We were a couple Daryl? In my imagination we still are. I never stopped loving and searching for you. And I like the new haircut." I add. "You still want to? Be a couple I mean?" He looks shy as always. Under his hard exterior is a big softy. I had always known that. "Sure. By the way where is your ass of a brother?" I smile at him. Merle is a first class douchebag but he somehow belongs to Daryl. The look on Daryl's face tells me everything I have to know. "Oh. He didn't make it. What happened?" I ask and put my hand comfortingly on his neck. " He got himself killed a few years back. 's all." Daryl rambles under his breath. "I'm sorry baby! I truly am. I know how much he meant to you." I take him in a bone crushing embrace. "So you wanna show me around your new home?" I asked cheerfully. "Yeah, sure can do sweetheart." There is the old Daryl I knew again. He may be a little more rugged around the edges and had been through a lot in the past few years but he is undoubtedly still the man I love. He shoves me through the relatively big town of Alexandria and tells me about the connections they have with other communities around here. It's quite astonishing what they have build here but it still pulls me out of the walls to hunt and kill some walkers. "And this is my house. I live here with Carol." He finishes his tour. "This is so picket fence. Could you have imagined us having something like this before all hell broke loose?" I giggle."no way. I sometimes I am still not sure if this is really it for me ya know? But you make it definitely so much better darling!" He exclaims. "I understand what you mean. I don't wanna be confined in these walls either. You go hunting?" I ask him and he nods in affirmation. "Care to take me along sometime?" "Sure what about tomorrow?" He suggests. "That'd be great." Then I start a giggle spree. "What's so funny darling." Daryl slurs. "It's just so amazing that around you I still feel like I'm home. I love you so much." I admit. Everything was lovey dovey as Daryl kisses me deeply. I can feel my insides tickle and realize how much I missed him. Suddenly the air around us shifts and it gets heated. Silently we communicate and he starts pulling off my dirty shirt. "Shower?" He asks breathless from kissing. "Yeah" we stumble our way upstairs still kissing the air out of each other. The last time we were able to do that was too long ago. I am so lost in pleasure my only words are I missed yous and I love yous. Over and over I whispered that to him. His tongue is dominating my mouth like it always did. It turns me on so much. My panties are probably soaked. I am gonna throw them away anyways. They have already given me new clothes. This is gonna feel fantastic. At the sight of the shower I moan loudly. Haven't seen a functional one in forever. He rips the rest of my clothes off while I do the same to him. The moment the warm water touches my skin I moan again even louder this time. Of course I had tried to bathe in small creeks or lakes but that is not easy with the threat of being killed omnipresent. Daryl leathers me up with soap and the water does the rest. "This is fantastic!" I swoon."baby I can't take it anymore. I need to be inside you. I missed you so much." And with those words he pushes his thick length into my tight,slick channel from behind. My eyes roll to the back of my head and I groan loudly. I haven't felt that in years and just now I realize how much I craved his touch. Being close to him is all I want. I am never gonna let him go again. "Daryl… so good… perfect." I moan out to him. My voice spurs him on to speed up and with that he hits my spot dead on. My release washes over me suddenly. Me clenching around him brings him to his own end. The pure euphoria we feel is indescribable. I feel like I'm floating on cloud nine. He slowly pulls out of me what makes me wince from overstimulation. "I'm so happy that you came back to me. I wasn't whole without you." He whispers as we step out of the tub to dry of. "You're not getting rid of me any time soon." I smile back at him.

So this is the story of how I found the love of my life again after years of unknowing.

#daryl x reader #The Walking Dead #ff #alexandria #smut #reader insert #oneshot

22 notes · View notes

demisexualemmaswan · 5 years

Text

six impossible things before breakfast

Summary: Emma has GOT to stop ogling the hot dad of Henry's newest classmate. Yeah he owns a bookshop, and yeah he's a ridiculously devoted dad but does it make him that attractive anyway? (Of course it does.)

A/N: Thank you everyone who made this event possible and allowing me to participate! Happy @csjanuaryjoy ! This prompt was very loosely inspired by the thought I had about how it would probably suck to start a new school at the beginning of January. Enjoy!

Read on Ao3 here.

“Mom! Mom! Mom!”

Emma hadn’t even opened the door all the way when her ten year old nearly careened into her. “Woah, kid, where’s the--”

“We have to go to the store right now, c’mon!” Henry exclaimed, tugging on Emma’s hand, trying to pull her back down the stairs from the apartment.

“Kid, I just got home--”

“We have a new student in class and she missed the Secret Snowflake because it’s January 2nd now and everyone’s still talking about their holiday gifts and she didn’t get any and we have to go get her one please!”

Emma had to admit, she was impressed by two things in that spiel. The first was that Henry said all of that in one breath. The second was that her kid had the biggest heart of anyone she knew, and even though she was exhausted from a long day of work, she wasn’t going to stop her kid from doing a good deed.

“All right, let’s go,” Emma said. Henry started to race ahead of her and she hollered after him, “But not until you put a hat, a scarf and a coat on, mister!” Chuckling as he darted back into the apartment, Emma let herself be warmed by her son’s enthusiasm, despite the cold, bitter wind outside.

Henry’s father was far out of the picture, and Emma had wondered from the beginning just how she was going to raise this little boy on her own. But she was glad she had made the decision to keep him all those years ago, especially given how much he added to her life.

For all his rushing and sprinting and yelling, Henry hadn’t forgotten to hug her before they headed down the stairs and back out into the cold. She cupped the back of his head, hoping that he’d never outgrow this.

Mother and son trudged through the slushy city streets to Henry’s favorite bookshop. “So how was work today?” Henry asked, kicking up a little slush with his boot.

“Fine,” Emma said with a grimace.

“That doesn’t sound fine,” Henry said worriedly, looking up at her. His eyes began to search for injuries before Emma gently ruffled his hair. He seemed to relax again before adding teasingly, “Mom, don’t tell me you’re behind on your paperwork again!”

“Guilty,” Emma admitted grudgingly and Henry laughed.

“You’d think one of Boston’s top detectives would be better at filling out paperwork,” Henry said despairingly, though the joking element in his voice was as clear as day.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, Captain Holt,” Emma replied, still grinning from ear to ear. “While making sure things are done correctly is a really important of part of my job, sometimes that little stuff gets lost in the way of the bigger picture.”

“Like catching bad guys?”

“Like being home on time so my son can drag me out into the bookstore to get a gift for a new classmate.”

“Won’t David--I mean, Captain Nolan, be mad?” The note of worry that had once again entered her son’s voice, and she gently squeezed his hand. “No, no, he gets it. He said as long as I have it by the end of the week I won’t have to work overtime. And it’s not that bad, it’s only three or four cases.”

“Or seven,” Henry snorted and Emma nudged him with her shoulder. He opened the door to the bookstore and darted inside before she could get another word in edgewise.

Hook’s Nook was a little Mom and Pop bookshop that recently just changed owners. The couple that had owned it before, Liam and Elsa, were dearly fond of Henry and had probably plied him with more books than they probably could’ve afforded to. Henry and Emma had been glad that the two had gotten married, and then devastated when Liam and Elsa moved. They had yet to meet the new owner, but Liam assured Henry that Hook’s Nook couldn’t be in better hands.

“You’re only getting this book for your friend!” Emma called after him as his little blue beanie disappeared into the many shelves. “I mean it, Henry! My apartment looks like a small library!” She chuckled to herself as his mop of brown hair quickly disappeared, knowing her boy was on the hunt for a book.

“Your lad is a voracious reader then?” A low chuckle caught her attention, and she looked to see a pair of blue eyes glimmering amusedly at her. A man with dark hair and scruff was leaning against the counter, smirking up at her.

Her jaw opened a little and she might’ve blinked once or twice. “You’re not Liam,” is what eloquently spilt out of her mouth.

“No, I am not. Very astute of you,” the man said wryly. He came from around the corner to shake Emma’s hand. “I’m Killian, Liam’s younger brother. Arrived from England a few weeks ago.”

“So that’s what he meant when he said that he was leaving the shop in good hands,” Emma mused, shaking his hand firmly She tried to remember if Liam had mentioned a brother in passing and when she couldn’t think of one, she decided that it might’ve never come up, given that she hated the topic of family all together. Still, she could tell that Liam and Killian had a good relationship, as Killian withdrew his hand and scratched behind his ear, clearly both embarrassed and pleased by his brother’s praise.

“Are you Emma, then?” Killian asked. Her eyes widened with surprise, and he added, “Liam mentioned you and--.”

“I found it!” Henry declared triumphantly, worming between them to put the book on the counter. It was a copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland , a bit tattered and worn but still readable. “This is what I’m going to give her!” he said to his mom.

A moment passed before Henry realized he’d interrupted the two adults. “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, looking between his mom and Killian.

“It’s all right,” Emma said kindly, ruffling her boy’s hair. “C’mon, I’ll pay Killian and then we’ll go home. I know you: you haven’t eaten dinner yet and you haven’t even begun to start on your homework before I got home.”

Henry smiled sheepishly and Killian laughed, a warm sound that settled in Emma’s chest. “This is Liam’s little brother,” she introduced.

“Younger,” Killian said irately, but there was a playful gleam in his eyes. “I’m Killian’s younger brother, Liam.” Henry looked at the man in confusion and Killian realized his mistake. “I mean, Liam’s younger brother Killian.” It was Killian’s turn to blush now, especially when Emma and Henry both laughed.

Emma just happened to casually check her phone and she gasped when she realized just how late it had gotten. “Oh my god, kid, it’s almost eight o’clock, we have to go home!” she exclaimed. Emma paid for the book and put it in Henry’s backpack, slinging her arm around Henry’s shoulder. “Goodnight, Killian,” she said, all but ushering Henry out of the door.

“I’ll see you around, won’t I?” he called after them. The door clattered behind them, and Emma realized halfway home that they’d never given him an answer. She hoped she’d get to see him again. And soon.

“Starfish,” Killian said gently, walking with Alice to school. A few days had passed since Emma and Henry had visited him in the bookshop, and while he found himself thinking of them from time to time, he couldn’t ignore the problem he had on his own hands. Just a week in a new school and Alice was already being bullied by her peers. He knew it was because Alice was imaginative and was the most creative person he knew, and children were never bound to appreciate that. Besides, it didn’t help matters that they were somewhat poor, and Alice’s clothes weren’t as well kept as her classmates’. Still, there was no reason for the little jabberwockys to pick on his Alice. He had written to the teacher asking her to look into the matter, but the response he received filled him with very little confidence in the matter. While Killian Jones prided himself in being an attentive father, he certainly didn’t think of himself as a helicopter parent and to be called--or even implied so--was quite insulting. Especially when he knew the matter was more serious than he ever could’ve imagined.

His once vivacious and wild girl seemed like a completely different person, now a shadow at his side, clinging to him and hiding away. He prayed that the spring months would come soon, bringing relief to her gloom and hopefully a new friend with it.

“I don’t want to go to school, Papa,” she mumbled.

“Just because you don’t like school doesn’t mean I can’t let you stay home.” He kissed the top of her head and she seemed to curl more into his side and his heart broke. “I’m sure they’re not all bad. All you need is one person to make it less bearable.”

“Well,” Alice started shyly. “There’s this boy--”

“A boy?” Killian spluttered, not sure if he was ready for that.

“No like that , Papa! Boys are gross!” Alice groaned, making a face up at her father. “No, there’s a boy in my class. He gave me a present on my second day, saying that he was my Secret Snowflake...I guess it’s an American gift-giving thing for Christmas.”

“Well that was very kind of him,” Killian murmured, relieved that he didn’t have to worry about dating and preteen hormones on top of everything. Gruffly, he added, “You know you’re not allowed to date until you’re married, right?”

“Papa,” Alice giggled, and he softened, glad he could bring a smile back to her face. The light in her eyes kept on, as she pointed ahead of her. “Look! There he is! Henry!” she called, waving to the boy. “Come meet my Papa!”

The boy weaved through the crowd the same way he weaved through the bookshelves in his store. “Oh, hello, Killian!” Henry said cheerfully, looking up at the man. “I didn’t know you were Alice’s dad!” He looked back at his friend. “I brought it with me! My first Spider-man comic! I thought we could read it together a little bit before class started! You’ll love Spider-man: it’s a classic!”

“Henry! Are you forgetting something?” A tall man, blond and fair held a lunchbox by his head.

“Sorry, David!” Henry called back, running through the crowd.

“He calls his father David?” Killian asked confusedly, watching the boy disappear through the crowd.

“David’s not his father,” Alice said, as if it were obvious and he should’ve known that. “David is his mother’s brother. Henry doesn’t have a father.” If she had any thoughts on the matter, Alice didn’t voice them. She did, however, lean up and kiss her father on the cheek before racing after Henry.

“Huh,” he murmured to himself. “How about that.”

“Emma!” A voice called her from the warm cup of cocoa she was about to sip. Her eyes narrowed: whoever it was better had something good to say. Hot cocoa time was Emma time. Looking around, she saw Killian Jones running toward her.

“Oh,” she said, ignoring the way her traitorous heart began to beat faster at the sight of him. “Hey, Killian. What’s up?”

Killian was fishing through his pockets before handing a few crumpled up bills to her. “This is for the book.”

“Huh?” Emma asked confusedly, wondering if Henry had done something behind her back like sold a book to help her with money or something. She was going to have to have a long talk with that boy one of these days--

“The book your lad bought the other day. Was for my Alice. She’s the new student in his class.”

“Oh,” Emma repeated, deflating a little bit. That meant Killian had a wife. Not that it mattered to Emma in any way, shape or form. She was lucky the cold wind was there to hide the redness of her cheeks or at least gave her a convenient excuse for looking flushed. “No, keep your money. It’s fine. I’m trying to teach Henry the merits of good-deed-doing and that’s definitely a good deed. Trying to make someone not feel left out.”

Killian reached back behind his ear and scratched. Damn it, why was that so adorable?

“Can I buy you lunch then?” he asked hopefully. “Single parent to single parent?”

Emma tried not to perk up at that. So there wasn’t a Mrs. Jones. Well, there was if you counted Elsa as a Mrs. Jones to Liam. The point was that there wasn’t a Mrs. Jones for Killian.

“Yeah, sure,” she said casually, gesturing to a nearby cafe, smiling now. There was something about sharing her favorite place with him that was new and exciting “I know a place that makes some great hot cocoa."

“I’m screwed,” Emma groaned, putting her forehead against her desk. “I’m the worst person that ever existed ever.”

“Why? Because your older brother caught you sneaking back into the precinct with that look on your face?” Mary Margaret, David’s wife, teased.

“Partially,” Emma admitted, sitting up straight. Not looking at Mary, she mumbled, “And because of what put the smile on my face.”

“Emma, did you go for a quickie on your lunch break?” Mary Margaret gasped, sliding her chair in next to Emma. “No judgement, I swear, but that’s so unlike you!”

“No, no,” Emma replied, though maybe her thoughts had drifted toward what kissing Killian could be like while he was talking. “I just...I have a stupid crush on someone I shouldn’t. That’s all.”

Mary Margaret’s hand all but dug into her arm, eyes pleading for the details. Any noise, however, would alert David and Emma wasn’t sure she wanted her brother to know about this yet. Above all, she was grateful for her friend’s discretion.

“It’s the new owner of Hook’s Nook. Killian,” Emma muttered.

“Is he married or something?” Mary Margaret asked lowly.

“I wish it were that,” Emma sighed. “I…” She rest her head against her friend’s briefly. “His daughter, Alice, is the new kid in Henry’s class. And over the past week or so they’ve become really close. And after all Killian said about how much Alice had been struggling to acclimate and how grateful he was that she had a friend in school, and how she was being bullied...I guess I don’t want to put the kids in the middle of it…” She looked at her friend sadly. “I remember being the new kid at the new school. I didn’t have any friends until I was placed with the Nolans. Until you and David..”

Looking down at her lap, she added wryly, “I still think Ruth bribed David to hang out with me until I became less prickly.” She tried to add a brave smile onto that sentence before sighing, “I can’t take Alice’s only friend away from her, no matter how much I want to date her stupidly hot dad.”

“Stupidly hot?” Mary Margaret asked.

“That’s what you got out of all that?” Emma asked exasperatedly.

Mary Margaret squeezed her hand. “I’ve known you a long time, Emma. I know how you feel about friendships, and how much they mean to you. Trust me, I know how lucky I am to be your friend…” She squeezed her hand again. “But if this works, Alice will have a friend for life. Any kid would be lucky to be friends with Henry. That boy is unafraid to give his love and give it all that he’s got.”

With a sad smile, she added, “He’s almost like you in his way.”

“Almost,” Emma agreed. “But Henry’s braver with his love than I ever could be.” Screwing up her face she added with a watery laugh, “Figures. Only you would take things like marriage and love out of a guy that I’ve only brought up once.”

“The fact that you brought him up at all tells me a lot.”

Emma had to admit that her friend was probably right.

“I’m sorry, you’re going to have to repeat that?” Emma asked, her voice rising higher in pitch. “I just need to make sure I’m not having like...a seizure or something. It’s January 10th, 2019 at 11:54 in the morning, and you’re saying my son, Henry David Swan, has been in a fight? I’m hearing that correctly?”

The whole precinct was staring at her now, their eyes wide. Most of them knew Henry the way she did: a bright, enthusiastic but ultimately gentle boy. She’d admittedly taught Henry some self-defense moves just in case he was ever mugged or anything, but she didn’t think it’d ever lead to him fighting anyone.

“Sorry, ma’am, you did hear all of that correctly,” the school principal’s secretary said apologetically. “We’re going to need you to come in for a meeting. The other parents are involved are already on their way.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll be right there,” Emma groaned, putting the phone down.

Thoughts began to race in her head: What’s going on with Henry? Is he hurt? Have I caused this somehow?

Each thought turned over in her head, causing her heart to beat faster before David put a hand on her shoulder. She looked at her older brother desperately and he hugged her gently, cupping the back of her head.

“Go make sure everything’s okay,” he murmured. “Henry’s a bright kid with a bright future. One fight in the fifth grade is not going to ruin his life.” He squeezed her tightly one more time before adding firmly, “One fight in the fifth grade doesn’t mean you’ve ruined his life either, Emma. You’re an amazing detective and an even better Mom. Now go check on your boy, and that is an order from your Captain.”

“Yes, sir.” Emma saluted halfheartedly with a wide grin on her face before racing to her car. She definitely broke some laws on the way there, but nobody stopped her and even if they had, she probably would’ve flashed her detective badge at them and been on her merry way.

Well maybe not so merry.

Pulling up to the school, she all but threw her yellow bug in park, and looked up at the brick building with apprehension swirling in her stomach. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head and walked into the school.

“Hi, I’m here to see the principal,” she said, trying to keep her voice even and her tone polite. The security guard buzzed her into the building and another escorted her to the principal’s office.

Henry was sitting in one corner with Alice and Killian. Her eyes swept over her boy, relieved that he wasn’t hurt in anyway. Alice’s palms were scuffed up and the holes and dirt in her leggings suggested that her knees might have scrapes on them too. Emma frowned, thinking maybe for a second that maybe had Alice and Henry had somehow fought.

Then she caught the sight of two other boys with their parents on the other side of the room. They looked a little worse for wear, bumped and bruised and spooked, but she knew a bully when she saw one.

Emma stalked over to sit behind Henry, drawing a protective arm around her kid, glowering at the principal. She was pretty sure she could already deduce what happened, based on the state of the two bullies on the other side.

“Good,” the principal said. “We’re all here then.” He looked over at Henry. “Now, young man, flipping people into tables is not any way to solve your problems.”

“I didn’t flip Nelson into the table, I flipped him over it,” Henry muttered. “And then Scut tried to hit me so I flipped him too.”

“Henry, are you kidding me?” Emma burst out, unable to contain it. Of all the moves she’d thought he used, she didn’t think it would be that one. “I only taught you that one to protect yourself, not so that you could use it on other people.”

“You taught him that?” the principal asked, trying to keep his voice from sounding too judgemental. Next to her, Killian looked incredibly impressed and that did funny things to her chest. But that wasn’t the important thing at the moment.

“Yeah, I’m a police detective, I’m sure that’s on a form somewhere,” Emma growled. Seeing the look on Henry’s face--the worry that she wouldn’t back him up or support him--Emma forced herself to soften and take a deep breath. She was all too familiar with parents who wouldn’t have supported her in the past. “Now, I know I taught you better than that. That’s a dangerous move and you could’ve really hurt someone without meaning to. What happened, huh?”

“They pushed Alice,” Henry murmured, just loud enough for everyone to hear but he was mostly looking at Emma. She gave her son an encouraging nod and a gentle smile and he continued. “There was some broken glass near the playground. Alice and I told the recess monitor like we were supposed to, but Scut and Nelson tried to push her into it. They thought it’d be funny if she got hurt on the glass…”

Emma looked up at the principal, lips pursed and eyebrows raised. The parents of Scut and Nelson opened their mouths, but Emma whipped her head around and silenced them with a glare.

“Mom?” Henry asked, drawing her attention back. “I...I know what I did was wrong. But they hurt Alice and I got mad and scared and I just...wanted to keep her safe. I’m sorry I let you down.”

“I’m not thrilled that you went about protecting your friend the way that you did,” Emma said. “And you and I need to talk about other ways you could’ve solved that problem.” She took in a deep breath and added with a smile, “But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t proud, kid.” She wrapped her arms around her boy tightly.

“And you’re going to allow this?” one of the fathers sputtered to the principal. “This woman is clearly a dangerous influence.

“This woman is one of Boston’s finest!” Killian exclaimed, defending her before she could even open her mouth. “And you shouldn’t be commenting on someone else’s parenting. Your son nearly pushed my daughter into glass because he thought it was funny!”

Alice tugged on Killian’s sleeve and whispered something into his ear. In all the times Emma had known Killian, she’d never seen his face go so dark. He pulled up his phone and all but shoved it into the principal’s face.

“These boys were the ones I’ve been e-mailing her teacher and you about, in which I expressed that I was worried she was being bullied,” he snarled. “And I was told time and time again that the recess monitors would report back, and I shouldn’t be using the word bullying without proof and that Alice was perfectly safe. You’ve ignored my repeated pleas for help for my girl? For what reason? Because she’s new? Because she’s a girl? Oh, rest assured I’m taking this to the school board for your piss poor management of the situation.”

“Do you need a lawyer with your case? Because I know a few,” Emma said with a smirk, gently putting her hand on Killian’s arm. He looked about one second away from punching the principal and while Emma would’ve loved to do that, it was something that was probably best avoided.

“We’ll review the recess reports and I’ll call all of you later with a final decision on the punishment for those instigating violence,” the principal said meekly.

“Oh, I am eager for your call,” Killian growled. “Now, if you’ll all excuse me, I need to go home and tend to my daughter’s scrapes.” He stood up and walked out with Alice.

Emma looked down at her son, who was trying so hard to hide his grin. “C’mon, kid,” she said. “I’m signing you out of school early. Let’s go home.” She closed the door behind her as she heard Nelson and Scut’s parents arguing loudly with the principal for their sons. “Hey, wanna get ice cream?” she asked.

Henry nodded and was about to head to the car before he rushed after Alice and Killian. “Do you wanna get ice cream?” he asked hopefully. He looked over his shoulder back at Emma and she smiled, coming up to stand beside him.

“Yeah, join us, Joneses. I think some victory ice cream over the Jabberwocky is needed,” Emma said.

Killian would later say it was the look in her eyes then that nearly took his breath away.

“So, you taught Henry how to flip someone over a table?” Killian asked curiously. Alice and Henry were standing at the jukebox, occasionally looking over their shoulders at their parents and whispering conspiratorially to one another.”

“I mean...well, yeah. I know its unorthodox parenting but I do it all the time at work,” Emma said with a shrug. “Besides. If anyone came after him, he’d be able to protect himself.”

“What have you needed it for?” Killian asked, leaning in.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Emma retorted playfully.

“Perhaps I would.” Killian smiled and gently slipped his hand around hers. “His mother must be one hell of a tough lass. I’d love to get to know her better. Perhaps Saturday night over dinner? Just her and I?”

“Are you really asking me out while our ten year olds are watching us?” Emma asked, a delighted smile coming to her face. Killian laughed, the corner of his eyes crinkling, and the ten year olds by the jukebox giggled too.

“Aye,” Killian murmured softly. “What do you say?”

“Well, I think we made one hell of a good team back there, Jones. I say you can pick me up at six.”

#cs fanfiction #cs ff #cs january joy #csjj 2019 #blaire's writing

109 notes · View notes

667-darkavenue · 5 years

Text

young legends die all the time (part one.)

i havent shared any of my writing in a while so in my traditional style, i’ll share a WIP in the middle of the night. this is an allurance gang au. despite the title, no one actually dies.

The royal families were something of a myth for Lance when he was growing up.

“Never cross that street,” his mom hissed, squeezing the wrist she’d just yanked him back by.

“Why?” he whined, from both pain and petulance.

“If the Witch sees little boys from our side of town, she steals them and eats them.” She said it like a matter of fact. “Our side is safe.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause the King watches over us, papi.”

The parents of this torn city desperately needed some way to hammer in hard lessons to their children without breaking their innocence. When he was older, Lance would wonder if that’s the reason why everything to do with the royal families was given such whimsical language. But while he was a kid, it totally worked.

“Wanna play Druids and Paladins?” His friends would ask in the schoolyard.

The children flipped a penny to decide who would play the leaders, then the pretend-Witch and pretend-King would choose their teams. Sometimes the weapons were water balloons, or nerf guns, or just two fingers pointed at their opponents with a ‘Bang!’

This had an unintended consequence their parents didn’t account for. As far back as Lance could remember, he always wanted to be a paladin.

Fresh out of high school, he got a job at the same restaurant as his best friend. Unfortunately, they never saw each other. Hunk worked all the way at the back of the kitchen and Lance didn’t even work inside the place. He stood out front, opened doors to cars that pulled in, and took them to valet parking.

That’s how he became friends with the finest girl in the world.

Within his first few days on the job, a white Bentley pulled into the driveway. An older man sat in the driver’s seat and a cascade of thick hair bent down in the passenger side, probably fishing a purse out from around her feet. Lance opened the door from her side first, offering a hand to help the lady out. She took it with barely glance at him, sweeping a bit of silvery hair out of the way as she slung her purse over her shoulder and stepped out of the car. It was a fancy restaurant with fancy clientele, but something about the casual way people interacted with Lance as if valets weren’t anything out of the ordinary for them never stopped catching him off guard. This girl though. She paused once she was on her feet and got a proper look at him. And he got a good look at her too. Oh shit, she’s gorgeous.

She pulled her hand away from his. “You’re new.”

She’s got an accent!!!!

“You can tell?” Lance’s chest pounded. “What’d I do?”

The smile she gave him was a small one, but it still crinkled the corners of her bright blue eyes. “Nothing.”

Her father, who was also striking to look at, came around from the other side of the car. Side by side, the pair smelled like money and oozed sophistication.

He passed Lance the keys and noted, “You’re new.”

“Yeah,” Lance answered, voice devastated at how obvious it apparently was.

Father and daughter shared an amused look, a silent inside joke, between each other. They didn’t bother to fill Lance in, either. Without a word, they entered the restaurant.

It didn’t take long to get somewhat familiar with them. Her father was a regular there and tipped a ten every time. Naturally, Lance adored him. The dad had to like him back, right?

The restaurant had a round table that was never given to customers under any circumstances, no matter how packed the night was. It was always left open so that just in case that father or his daughter walked in, they could be seated right away. Even if they didn’t show up for ten nights in a row, the table would stay empty. Like they were phantoms of the freaking opera.

They used it now and then for private father-daughter dinners. More often, it was used to hold meetings with all manner of people. People in suits, people in sweats, local government officials, guys with face tattoos. Lance got a signal from the hostess whenever the round table’s dinner was drawing to a close, so that their Bentley would be ready and waiting the moment they stepped outside. All the other normal customers needed to hand Lance a ticket and stand outside while he fetched their car.

One night, the finest girl in the world stepped out early. The swoosh of the front door brought the chatter of the restaurant outside. Lance’s heart jumped into his throat when he realized it was her.

“Oh! Sorry, I don’t have your car ready,” He blurted, a little flustered. “Romelle usually gives me a sign to get ready for you guys.”

The door swung closed behind her, muffling the din inside and leaving them alone in the dim stillness of the driveway. “It’s alright. We aren’t leaving.”

She walked a few steps closer to the edge of the driveway, looking out at the road. Lance had no idea what she was doing or what he was supposed to be doing. A silent pause stretched between them.

She looked back toward him. “What is the sign?”

“The wha?” “You said you get a signal when she knows we’re finishing up.”

“Oh. It’s—Uh—Kind of a joke.”

She raised her eyebrows, urging him on without a word.

“She says,” Lance reluctantly admitted, “The british are coming.”

He laughed halfway through, ‘cause it was so dumb.

It got a chuckle out of the finest girl in the world, as well. “But she’s British as well.”

“I know,” Lance snorted.

He could see the round table through the restaurant’s front window if he stood in the right spot. Lance craned his neck to scope out the situation. Her dad was still sitting down over coffee with three old white guys.

“Things get awkward at the table or what?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just so boring I wanted to fall asleep on the tablecloth. I think some fresh air will wake me up.” Her heels clacked on the pavement as she paced in small circles.

“Yeah, I feel that. You have no idea how much time I spend just waiting out here by myself.”

“At least it’s not stressful.”

Lance shrugged. “It’s fine. I think I’d rather be doing something stressful, but c’est la vie.” “You should’ve been a waiter, then.”

“I tried, but I had no serving experience. So they turned me down and offered this instead.”

She crossed her arms and stepped a little closer. “What experience do you have?”

Lance started listing them with his fingers. “I’m a good driver, good talker—”

“Oh, are you?” “You’re still here, so better than those guys.” With a jerk of his chin, Lance pointed with his lips to the inside of the restaurant.

She looked at her father’s table with the smallest curl lingering at the corner of her lips. She looked back at Lance. “I’m Allura, by the way.”

“I’m Lance.”

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

“You didn’t get very far in listing your skills.”

“Oh, right.” Lance lifted a third finger and continued, “Good kisser...”

She rolled her eyes and raised a hand over her mouth to cover another laugh.

The sound emboldened Lance. “Any chance I could get your number, Allura?”

“Oh, of course.”

His entire face lit up.

She reached into her purse, but did not pull out her phone. In her hand was the valet slip, held between two fingers.

“We’re number twenty five.” She grinned, a little bit playful and a little bit wicked.

Lance’s favorite nights were when Allura came in. If work slowed down, he’d slink over to the window and watch her sip illegal champagne from her flute. Not in, like, a creepy way. There was just something nice about getting to see the finest girl in the world on a somewhat regular basis. This kind of serene, sighing, ‘ahhhhh’ feeling behind his ribs. Not unlike the way it feels to get a nice long look at the ocean on a clear day.

On a good night, Allura would come outside while her dad was still wrapping up conversation at the table or having long, drawn-out goodbyes at the entrance. She’d lean against the car and talk to Lance until it was time to go.

He asked her out once. She said no. He asked her if she was sure the next night. She said yes. But she still liked to come out and talk to him for a few minutes after dinner, so no harm done.

Sometimes she came in without her dad at all, to have some drinks with her friends around the end of Lance’s shift. She’d beckon him inside to join them when closing time was near and her table was the only one still occupied. He had to drive her back home once. Of course, that meant he needed to leave her car there and walk forty minutes back to his own home at midnight. But that was fine. Lance lived on the nice side of town. The side where crime just didn’t happen. Parents could let their children play outside while they cleaned inside. Girls could walk home alone at night. People who tried to start shit mysteriously disappeared. And the victims who got messed with were always paid back for their losses in mysterious ways.

When he was thirteen, someone broke into Lance’s home. After a sweep of the house, his mom’s jewelry box and his dad’s one nice watch were the only things missing. There wasn’t much else worth taking. His parents blamed themselves for thinking they didn’t need better security than a lock on the door. A few days after they filed the police report, his mom got a call directly from the local pawn shop. They had all her missing jewelry and the watch and wanted to return it to her, free of charge. She had to go pick it up directly from the shop. Not the police station.

Anyway, everyone’s tragic stories took place far from the restaurant’s neighborhood. The muggings, the assaults, the missing persons—All of it happened beyond the streets his mother had told him never to cross.

But after a year of working there, something happened.

That one familiar Bentley pulled up to the restaurant in something of a hurry. Lance had never seen Allura’s dad brake hard before. He opened the passenger door for her, as always. He offered his gloved hand to help her step out of the car, then closed it behind her and went around the hood to take the keys from her father.

Alfor gripped Lance’s arm when he passed the keys. “Don’t take any cars you don’t recognize tonight. Tell them we are closed for a private event.”

“Sure. You got it.”

“There’s something for you in the glove compartment. I want you to take it and hold onto it.”

He nodded and tried not to look as puzzled as he felt. Alfor gave him a pat on the back and finally released Lance’s arm. A little frazzled, Lance hopped into the driver’s seat and immediately reached for the glove compartment.

The passenger door flung open and Allura dove into the seat. “Wait!”

She slammed both hands over Lance’s, shoving the compartment shut before he could take a look inside. She kept one hand there while the other scrambled to clumsily shut the door behind her.

“What are you doing? What’s going on?” Lance was getting nervous and his voice was rising.

“You don’t need to get involved.” Allura gently pried his fingers away from the glove compartment handle. She shifted to sit sideways so that her body could face him. She clutched his hand in both of hers. “You can walk away. Nothing will happen to you.”

“Walk away from...? What is in there?”

Her eyes were so bright and they gave Lance an intense look that he couldn’t decipher the meaning of at all. “Allura. I have no idea what’s going on.”

“I know. It’s not fair.”

“But I wanna be involved.” God, his palm was probably getting sweaty between her soft hands. “I wanna be your friend. I want to be here when something’s wrong.”

She shook her head. “You have no idea what you’re getting into.”

“Look, there’s literally nothing that would make me walk away from you right now. Or ever.”

“Nothing at all?”

“Nope.”

“Lance, that is…” Allura released his hand. “Just… So unwise.”

“No, it isn’t!”

She scoffed, a helpless little huff of breath through her nostrils.

“What’s in there?” He asked again.

Slowly, Allura reached out and pulled the glove compartment open. It was empty except for a swathe of blue velvet cloth wrapped around something. Lance leaned over and reached across Allura, into the compartment. He unfolded the cloth in his lap, revealing a gorgeous, ornate pistol. The kind known members of the royal family’s paladins were rumored to carry around. The King’s crest was gilded into the handle. It might as well have been a legend to Lance.

part two ==>

#voltron #vld #allurance

45 notes · View notes

halfofxerxes · 5 years

Text

Tonight though, an adult (a teenager?), someone anyway has crawled into his bed to spend the night. If he was more awake, there would be no confusion on who it was, but all his children were familiar to him and it didn't really matter beyond that. He folds them into his arms, quickly returning to sleep.

There's the vaguest feeling feeling of being talked at, and he hums slightly, trying to focus on what the words are being said. The child repeats themself, but it doesn't make anymore sense than it did in the beginning.

"...Dad…" Alphpnse says, speaking in Amestrian now, "Don't tell me you can't hear languages when you're asleep."

"You have an accent that obscures your words." Van mumbles, "I'm tired."

"Don't blame this on me, I'm trying." Al grumps, "How do you comfort the younger children?"

"During summer they go to Sil." Van explains,"I usually deal with the daytime problems, Sil's usually awake or a relief from the heat."

"He really does remind me a lot of Mom." Alphonse admits, "How caring he is to everyone, I mean. He's very kind."

"He likes to be kind." Van muses, "He was very isolated from everyone around him, and his guilt prevented him from reaching out, and now he has so much care he wants to give."

"Mm." Alphonse doesn't have a comment to that, instead getting more comfortable in his father's arms.

Van is about to fall asleep again, when Alphonse starts chirping at him again. He has to shake himself to stay up, letting out a long breath.

"Do you get scared?" Alphonse asks, "I mean… Scared about things that happened a long time ago?"

"Yeah." Van says, "All the time. It's not even guilt all the time, or sadness."

"...Is it normal to feel like this?"

That hits him. His eyes open, and he glances over to Sil's bed, seeing his husband is listening, though pretending to rest, for Alphonse's sake. He's sure that if Sil feels the need to interject, he will do so, but for now leaves it to Van.

"... For what happened to you? Absolutely." Van says, "Sometimes things hurt so badly the pain doesn't stop, or you convince yourself that the reason it does is because it's waiting around the corner for you."

"Can you read minds?" Alphonse asks, something in his tone catching in his father's ear.

"Al…" Van says slowly, rubbing his thumb across the back of his son's neck slowly, "Are you high?"

It occurs to him that he doesn't know if he's had a conversation with Alphonse about how some of the recreational drugs that he and Sil keep, such as the pot and some of their alcohol have an adverse effect not seen in the other adults on him, when taken in the wrong doses. He's about to go into it, but Alphonse shakes his head.

"No, Dad." He says dutifully, "It's just… that's exactly how it feels. Like I'll turn the corner and he'll be there. Or if I fall asleep I'll wake up to find I never really left, or I'm still in the armor and I can't really feel things properly, like I'm not really here and this body isn't mine--"

Al's distress is growing, and Van squeezes him tightly, soothing him as best he can, rocking him as if he were a little child.

"I know." Van finds himself saying, "I know, Al. I know."

It's true, he does know. He'd never dare say this to Sil, but the fact that he has an aura that leaks light into the room, keeping it from being dark has helped him many a night when he had expected to wake up in a confined, dark space, awaiting water to flood in and fill his nose and ears.

He knows that this desperate energy that Alphonse is expressing right now would have lead to a fight between them had Van displayed any tension at all, even well intending. It's not Al's fault, that desperation of feeling helpless reaches out and snaps wildly at anything that can give it a release, to ease it into anything that doesn't feel like acidic poison poured directly into his veins.

"Could you tell me?" Al pleads with him, "Please? Do you really know what it's like?"

Van falls still, not exactly uneasy, but offset by the request. Can he really share that with Alphonse? Would it be right to do so?

Would it cause more harm than good?

"I was born into it." He says finally, "It wasn't a shock to me when it started, because it never started. What was unexpected to me was it ending, and realizing that the world was so much bigger than I thought. That there was more than being in agony all the time, and yet… the absence of the agony felt more poignant and impactful than it being present."

"Like it is supposed to be there." Alphonse says quietly.

Van nods.

"I feel like it was a mistake that got me out of that life." Van says quietly, "I'm still waiting for someone to grab me and make me go back. I keep telling myself that I wouldn't go back, that I'd fight it, but… At the same time, the idea that I'd have to stop worrying about it seems morbidly relaxing. It's the worse thing I can imagine… which makes it devastating for me when other, greater bad things happen."

"Like Mom dying?" Alphonse asks, "Like being unable to stop the Dwarf?"

"Yeah." Van admits, "I had a vague notion about failing with the Dwarf, but the death of your mother, and everyone else was… inconceivable. I couldn't conceptualize you or your brother's death. Edward's death is still something that devastates me, sometimes I'm holding his body while I'm very clearly doing something else. It's like I never actually left that moment."

"I know what you mean." Al says quietly, "I have… so many moments like that, Dad. All the time. No matter where I am. The- the… when I was intimate, I was so upset, Dad. I wanted so badly to be with her, but I couldn't even focus on her, and all these awful things were running through my mind, and then it was over."

With how heavy those words feel, Van suspects that this is the reason why Alphonse had sought him out this evening.

"Do you remember how much of a mess you were when you met Sil?" Van asks quietly, "You were so mean to him."

"I know. I'm sorry." Alphonse says, "I'm so sorry. I don't even know why I do it, it's like I trip into something and I can't stop until it's done. I didn't use to be like this, Dad. I used to be able to control my actions, all the way through something."

He's an adult, Van. Sil has said that to him several times, usually exasperated at the latest thing Alphonse has pulled out of his hat, he's been alive long enough to recognise the impact of his actions.

So have I. Van had said, and there are still foolish things I do despite not wanting to do them.

It's different with you. I know why you do it.

Alphonse doesn't talk much about his life with the Dwarf, at least not to him. He tries to hide a lot of it, trying to move on and move past it, going to Sil rather than him.

He wonders if Sil had ever known that Alphonse had been convinced once, that Sil had wanted to send him back rather than try to deal with him. He closes his eyes, that old pain rushing back to the pit of his belly.

The pain of having the two people he loved for the longest amount of time convinced that the other hated them so much. To know that this nastiness isn't fading into memory, only waiting for a new situation to appear.

"She left me, you know. Their mother." Al says quietly, "One day she was chatting with me as always, and the next she was talking to someone else. We had been talking… well, I had been talking about what I wanted to do, and the next day she moved into someone else's house without even saying goodbye to me. I wasn't mean to her, Dad. I didn't want her to go. She seemed happy with me."

"Alphonse…" Van says slowly, not sure what he wants to say, "Look…"

"I didn't even tell at her when she sold the orb."

Orb?

The communicator orb thing? The one that Sil was complaining about being activated?

"I thought you said you lost it." Van prompts, trying to get the full story.

"I did, but then I found it, with her help." Al explains, "She- uh…"

Alphonse falls quiet, and Van starts thinking. So help him, he can't be right about what he's thinking.

"She wouldn't have happened to become pregnant in the time you spend searching, would she?" Van asks, trying to sound casual.

"Uh, yeah, actually." Al says, "How'd you know?"

"Call it father's intuition."

That explains why the word of the 'miracle' spread so quickly, Alphonse had been scammed. Of course he didn't know that for sure but--

"Only a few days after she gave birth I heard them overtaking about golden eyes and how they could use this to, I dunno, unite the dunmer or something? I got scared I guess but the next thing I know is I'm on a boat with my twins."

"You wouldn't have happened to tell anyone who the orb connected to, would you?" Van asks.

"Uh."

A long silence.

"I'm sorry."

That's something Sil's going to have to bring up later with Alphonse. Van doesn't want to imply that it is okay, but also doesn't want to guilt Al for being strung along by what he personally thinks was a con artist. Especially not when Alphonse is feeling so stupid already. It's no wonder that Alphonse has been so sensitive, being set up and manipulated…

Though… he would rather talk about it with Sil before coming to a conclusion. He opens his eyes, glancing over to his partner, catching a glint of red in return.

"Why do you guys have separate beds?" Alphonse asks, trying to change the topic. "I mean… why not have one big bed?"

"Sil's bed is big enough for the both of us and then some." Van says, "But it's still his. Sometimes it's hard to share, we'll be a little upset or I want to be warm, or I can't bear to be next to someone for the night. It also feels better to have a place that I can have to my own, even when I want to be close to him. It's very kind, I think, that he doesn't insist I have to sleep away from him if I can't sleep by his side."

"Oh."

"If that's everything, can I go back to sleep?" Van asks, "I am very tired."

"Oh… sure." Al says, "I didn't realize I was keeping you up."

"Yeah, that's because you haven't been thinking with your brain for a while." Van grumbles, "Now shut up and go to sleep."

#v. rusted worlds #this is set after the twins (tm) are a thing #this is like... a random list of headcanons poured into a drabble #so yeah anyway

1 note · View note

surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

Text

Survey #193

“i’m stronger than i ever knew; i’m strong because of you.”

What’s one item the dollar store is good for? Candy. What’s the last thing you made out of construction paper? A "cover" for Sara's first V-Day present. What’s the last thing that inspired you? I'm not sure, really. Probably some video. Are you a daredevil? No. What’s one thing you are lazy about? Cleaning. Do you prefer tea to be cold or hot? Tea is a no from me. Do you ever get annoyed by the stupid decisions characters make in books? Not really annoyed, seeing as making mistakes is sometimes a necessity to the plot, but I'm more like, "no one would ever do that irl," especially in the horror genre. What’s one thing that’s annoying you about the book you’re reading now? N/A What’s the most boring thing about your life right now? You would almost assume I'm under house arrest because I can never leave my fucking house. What could make your life more interesting? Being in school, have a job, or have Sara live here. Name someone you know who is truly happy. My nephew. He's only two, but. I have never seen a happier human being. Do you have trouble letting friends go when you need to? It depends. Do you have trouble letting things go? Depends as well. How cluttered is your apartment/house/room? My room's decent, but the majority of the house is kinda messy or just unorganized. Do you have any antique furniture? No. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a purse? Idk, certainly not much. Where would be the most fun place to do a 24 hour challenge in, do you think? Probably an amusement park. Would be creepy as fuck at night too, and I'd liiive for it. What’s something you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t got around to yet? A lot... like resume studying German. I haven't decided to yet because I question the real usefulness of it; I want to go to Germany, but that may never happen, and I could probably manage just enough with what I know. It may end up just being wasted time and effort. What was the best class trip you have ever been on? 5th grade visit to the zoo. Did you have your own room as a child? No, I shared it with Nicole. Maybe Ashley was with us for a while before being given her own room? Idr. Have you ever shared a room? See above, then with Jason in the old apartment. If so, was having a roommate hard for you? As a young kid, Nicole and I liked sharing a room, but as I especially got older, I really wanted my own. With Jason, no. Do you own a lot of clothes that don’t fit you anymore? Yes, some I hope to shrink back into or are just stored for nostalgia. Where do you donate old clothes? Goodwill and some other place idr. Do you enjoy antique stores? Oh. My. God. Yes. What are five things you inherited from your mom? Somewhat slower metabolism I think, depression, are seasonal allergies genetic?, height, and hair thickness. What are five things you inherited from your dad? PACING, this little short huff-ish laugh thing he does at the end of some sentences, no common sense whatsofuckingever, and enjoying games. Do you enjoy grocery shopping? Noooo. Do you enjoy clothes shopping? Only at stores I like, and if I don't have to try things on. Do you own footie pajamas? Omg nooooo, haven't since I was a kid. They had to be so uncomfortable. Which America’s Got Talent Golden Buzzer performance was your favorite? I haven't seen/remember enough. Do you watch America’s Got Talent? I did religiously until Sharon left. If you were to host a '90s party, which 3 shows would you like to run? That '70s Show, Full House, and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. What was your favorite thing you collected as a child? Webkinz. I was that one kid who had dozens. Whose house was your first sleepover at? My first best friend, Brianna's. If you had a daughter, would you allow sleepovers? Of course with girls, but I probably wouldn't allow a boy to stay overnight until she was at least 16 due to the risk of her getting pregnant. Which do you like better, your first name or your middle name? My first. What are some ways that pop culture has helped you learn historic or scientific facts? Oh, video games and TV shows definitely have. There must be plenty of other things, but. Blanking. Have you ever had a job in which you felt that you had nothing to do? What was the protocol in that situation (e.g., surfing the web, taking on the job of co-workers, or pretending to work)? If you have not, do you think it would be lucky or unlucky to have such a job? N/A; I wouldn't enjoy an extreme lack of work, but definitely some time to like wander around the Internet and such. Having too little would be super boring, and I'd feel very unproductive. Have you ever intimidated or made another person feel legitimately threatened? If not, do you think that you could ever be seen as scary? I felt horrible when I found out Mom's been legitimately uneased before because of how loudly I can scream at Bentley and/or Teddy when I'm really pissed. I've been working on it since then. In what ways do you or would you need to be validated by a partner? (For example, liking your posts/talking about you on social media, or perhaps by doting on you with gifts.) Above all, I need to be reminded that you love me, that you're not leaving (unless of course there's good reason to), AND THAT MY ILLNESSES AREN'T BECOMING TOO OVERWHELMING. As well, with how I physically am now, I need to know that my weight doesn't bother you. That's all I can think of atm. When you are having a hard time emotionally, what are some of the telltale ways that you act out or that your personality reflects your struggles? I admit I speak before I think and can be very snappy and sarcastic. I become extremely pessimistic and cry easier than I already do. My stability in general is very fragile when I'm struggling. Do you tend to succeed by weaning yourself off of something or by quitting cold turkey? WEANING. I never would've survived dropping soda (for the time I did) if I hadn't weaned down. Well, quitting meat cold turkey during my vegetarian phase was easy, but most things, I'd still say weaning. Is there a specific type of pet breed/size/etc. that you don’t want? Why not? I wouldn't want huge dogs due to so much energy, nor would I want arachnids or insects. Or fish because they bore me so it just feels like a total chore to clean the tank. I wouldn't want most birds due to all the noise. Also not interested in blood pythons, as they're notorious for being aggressive. Have you ever lived in a notoriously dangerous area? If not, would it bother you to do so? Yup. Has a friend’s significant other ever interfered with or damaged your friendship? What about a significant other of yours damaging a friendship? I don't think so for either. What, if anything, is something that you put pressure on yourself about? What do you imagine would happen if you did not live up to this expectation? Achieve complete financial comfort. If I don't, after how I've grown up, I will be borderline (if not seriously) devastated and disappointed in myself. I also put immense pressure, an amount I know is unhealthy, on myself about losing weight, and if I don't achieve that, I don't know what I'd do. I've worked and still work so hard to. If you have been in a serious relationship, have you and your partner ever discussed lifetime plans that clashed? Did you reconcile them or did you break up? If you have not been in a relationship, what are some issues that would be deal-breakers? In the beginning of mine and Jason's relationship, it was casually mentioned I didn't want children while he did, but we didn't worry about that at the time as we had a long time to figure that out. I later decided I wanted kids together, anyway... Would you ever believe I wanted three back then???? If you have favorite names or names picked out for your children, where did you learn of the names or when did you fall in love with them? I can't remember where I heard Alessandra, but I immediately thought it was gorgeous. I fell in love with Damien because of fucking Mayor Damien from Who Killed Markiplier? Yes, I would absolutely name my son after a Markiplier character, fight me about it. What is one item that you have recently been coveting? Do you think that you will actually get it? Why/why not? A new laptop more than anything... and soon. Dad's working on it as a Christmas + birthday present. Do you still have both of your parents? They're alive, but divorced. Do you like being sensually bitten? UGGGHHHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS. If you wear eyeliner, what color do you use? Only ever black. How many colors are in your hair right now? One, but with natural highlights and undertones. Do you have your full license yet? No. Working on it. Are you into gory movies? If the gore is a realistic amount. Have you ever been locked in a room forcefully without anyone knowing? No. Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? No. Does your significant other boss you around a lot? No. Have you ever been drunk? If so, do you get drunk regularly? No. Do you consider yourself a loner or a social butterfly? A loner, but I'm sincerely trying to branch out at least some. Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Yes. What is your favorite online smiley face to you? I like ;v; but rarely use it because people can't seem to decide if it's an extremely happy and teary face (what I see) or a sad one???? What is something that freaks you out no matter what? OH GOD thought of this because I passed a video of a pregnant sphynx on FB today. I. Cannot. See a fetus moving from the outside of its mother's stomach. It absolutely, thoroughly horrifies me to the point I may scream. It's one of the million reasons, if not the main reason, I never want to be pregnant and why I say pregnancy would likely traumatize me, especially feeling it. Are the lights in your room more dim or bright? I'd say my ceiling lamp is a tad dimmer? Do you take a lot of photos? No. I'd take far more "photography" pictures if I actually had things to and a way to get around... When you were little, did you think band-aids healed everything? Maybe? Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? A completely unrealistic one. I just missed my period one month, I guess out of stress, a change in meds, something like that, and I was panicking that it was a pre-cum pregnancy, even with protection (aka, thin underwear, which sperm can't travel through). I was an anxious mess until my period did come around. Anxiety is fun. Do you have freckles? If so, do you enjoy them or hate them? I don't. Where do you download music from? YouTube. Do you have a laptop, desktop or both? A laptop. If you have a job, do you work with any of your friends? Do you like that job? N/A When did you last look in a mirror? Last time I was in the bathroom. What are you most known for? Probably that I'm very reserved and anxious. What was the last movie you bought for yourself to watch? I don't think I've ever bought a movie myself. If you have any animals, do any of them live in the house with you? They all do. Would you rather have curly or straight hair? Straight. What is one thing you think is gross about the human body? Sweating. Ever make a friendship bracelet for someone? As a kid. Would you say you have extreme morals? "Extreme" seems a bit far, but I have rather strict ones. What have you been made fun of for the most? I've been teased by so many people, family especially, about how I stay on the laptop or am on my phone, and I fucking hate it. Seriously, don't bring it up. I have reasons. Do you watch any television shows from other countries? I don't watch any TV shows currently. Who is your most favorite television/movie villain? Television... probably a character I can't say as their position of being a villain is a massive spoiler of the show. Or Fullmetal Alchemist's Envy, especially in Brotherhood. Movie, Dark Alessa from the first Silent Hill. Have you ever been stabbed by something? A pencil. Maybe other things. Well, do piercings, tattoos, or shots count? How many pillows do you normally sleep with? Two. When you have chocolate, do you eat it room temperature? Or are you like me and stick the bar into the fridge first? I like it room temperature. Chilled doesn't sound all that appealing. What’s the most shocking thing that’s happened in your part of town? Idk, maybe a murder or something? Are there any constellations you recognize just by looking at them? The Little or Big Dipper, idk which is which. Which insect do you find the most beautiful? Butterflies! Do you like gardening? If so, what do you grow? No. Do you enjoy puzzle games? If so, which one’s your favorite? Yeah, probs Sudoku. What is a job you would never in a million years want to do? Teaching, to name just one. What’s the weirdest building in your city? *shrugs* Do you recognize friends’/family’s vehicles by sound? No. Which Disney villain is your favorite? Probably Scar. Or Hades, I loved his character. Which possession would you not want to inherit from a relative? I dunno. Fancy china or some shit I'll never use or break. Is there an ex you think about every day? You know... maybe Jason. Tiny things will trigger quick memories/thoughts about him a lot of days, maybe actually most, I guess as a PTSD thing. He played such a huge part of my life and drastically changed it, so it's hard not to. I don't give him deep thought or anything and they're typically emotionless; just for example, if I heard Motionless In White, my head would immediately connect them to him as his favorite band, then the thought's over. AND I JUST WANNA SHARE BECAUSE I'M PROUD AS FUCK that today was our anniversary date, and this is the first year I feel zero pain or attachment to it. Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships? No. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Probably some evil shit I said in that letter to Dad. Who was the last person to text you before you went to bed last night? Sara. When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? I talked briefly with Girt a few days back. Is there a guy who knows everything or almost everything about you? Jason did. Who was the last person to annoy you? My stepmother with the stupid political shit she shares on Facebook. I love her a whole lot, but oh my god. I regret even adding her. Do you have any text messages that you don’t want other people to read? I wouldn't be mortified or anything, but there's some I want private nevertheless. Which room in your house tends to be the coldest in the winter time? The laundry room, the first room of the house from the backdoor. There's no AC in there, and because there's a draft with the door, it gets cooooold. What is something that you fear will happen to you in the future? (Also Why) I won't be financially stable. That's all I've known so far, and the stress of it is unbelievable. What criminal (dead or alive) would you like to sit down and talk to and why? None. What is the most interesting documentary have you watched? Meerkat Manor. :') Where is your brother? In Tennessee. Last person you cussed at? At? Not in the presence of? Uh, I think I playfully called a friend/family member a bitch at some point? When did a parent last tell you, you couldn’t do something you wanted to? I was craving a Sonic shake a couple days ago, but Mom didn't wanna drive out that far with low gas. Last time you took a picture? A few days back. Our camellia bush is blooming now, and some of the flowers are falling, and I visualized a beautiful shot looking down at one, but no matter what I did, the damn camera wouldn't focus just enough. This is such a frequent problem that I think something may be wrong with the lens. I cannot wait for new ones. Next time you will see the last person that made you cry? Who was it? Myself, so, lol. Next person that will call you? Likely my dad about our laptop hunt. Last person that was at your house besides family? A delivery guy. How many friends do you have? I don't know who are really my old friends, friends, and true friends nowadays. Few. When were you born? 11:20 or 11:30 A.M., I forget. Who are you closest to in your family? Mom. What program on your computer do you use the most? Chrome. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Not unless I was in some sort of freak accident. What is your favorite breed of dog? Akita inus or Saint Bernards. Are you a fan of anime? Yeah. What is your favorite kind of cookie? Soft chocolate chunks. Ahhh. Where is your favorite city? I don't have one. Do you get bored easily? Very. What grosses you out the most? The most? Oh man, idk. Probably seeing bones clearly broken and at gnarly angles, or strange bodily shit like botflies being pulled out (I physically refuse to watch things like that), and giant pimple/cyst popping is fucking disgusting. I do NOT understand how some find it satisfying. Or, as mentioned earlier, seeing fetuses move from the outside. Have you ever been to the circus? In elementary school. I don't remember it. What’s the longest word you know? Uhhh, "brobdingnagian?" Do you use teeth whitener? No, but God knows I want to. Do you think war is an acceptable way of solving problems? NO. NO. NO. NO. Were you a bad child when you were younger? No. What is your favorite type of exercise? Swimming. Do you live near any volcanoes? No. Name one word that you always have trouble pronouncing. Almost everyone points out how I put a "d" in "breakfast" after the "k." I have to consciously think in order to not. Tell me something about yourself that you don’t normally tell people. The fact I enjoy RP. Do you have any songs that seem to fit your life perfectly? Perfectly, idk. Have you ever tried “planking”? Oh wow, I forgot about that fad. The exercise form of planking, yes. Do you trust yourself with big responsibilities? Usually not. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream? So there's this local dessert place I go to exclusively for their ice cream called "campfire delight" that surpasses any ice cream I've ever had. Out of basic flavors, vanilla. How many people have you truly fallen IN love with? Two. Where was your mom born? Somewhere in New York. Have you ever seen your siblings naked? Well duh as kids. As teens/adults, I think I've seen Ashley like once. Now Nicole, she has no shame and used to walk without a care into the living room to grab clean clothes lmao, and she never cared if I needed to come into the bathroom for whatever if she was in there after she got out of the shower. What can always make you feel better no matter what? Show me that video of Mark witnessing for the first time that "nasa peepo" shit lmao. I will at LEAST smile. What did you last order from a restaurant? A double cheeseburger and fries. And what restaurant was that from? McDonald's. Did you ever really believe in the tooth fairy? Yes. Would you ever get your legs waxed? Likely not. Are you listening to music right now? "Roots" by In This Moment. When was the last time somebody hit on you? lul Sara yesterday, I think. Was the last person you met a male or female? Uhhh who was the last person I met. I really don't know. Which one of your friends do you feel most comfortable around? Sara. Do you own a map of the world? No. Who did you last spoon with? Sara. Does your family eat dinner together? No. When eating string cheese, do you dive right in or just peel it? I don't like string cheese. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Nothing works for me. Do you know how to take screen shots on your computer? Yeah. Do you have a blister anywhere on your body? No. Do you remember what your last fortune cookie said? No, but I think I recall thinking it was stupid. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. What do you think of off-brand soda? Doesn't bother me. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Usually hot. Do you grit your teeth a lot? No. Do you like to swing? Ye. How about jumping on a trampoline? Haven't done that in years, and it would probably wreck my knees. Do you have long arm hair? No. Is your hair healthy? Very. How often do you wash your hair? I have to every time I shower unless I want it greasy, so every other day or sometimes one more. Do you love Family Guy, or hate it? It doesn't bother me. Do you like kids? I don't hate them, but being around them long enough tests me. How often do you like to have sex? Sara and I aren't at that point yet, so I can't really say. If I'm still the same, Jason and I did so every few days, and if I didn't see him in like, almost a week, I'd definitely want it. Do you throw shit under your bed? No. Do you like Dairy Queen? Sure. Have you ever actually drank warm milk? Ew, no. Do you prefer to have milk when you eat cakes/cookies? Every once in a while for cookies. What is your preferred brand of chocolate? Ohhhhhh I can't remember its name. It's one of the "fancier" kinds. Do you like white chocolate? No, too sweet. Are there any movies/shows you’ve seen so many times you’re sick of them? I don't think so. What about songs you’ve heard so many times you hate them? Not hate. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah, as a kid, and here in the South, there's also this tasty treat called snow cream that you make with fresh snow. Are there any metals that turn your skin green? Silver. Do you know anybody who gets feminism confused with misandry? BOY DO I Do you talk to your pets? Seriously curious, does anyone not? When you do, is your tone different from when you talk to humans? Usually. Do you like using terms of endearment? Yes. Describe yourself with 3 fictional characters. Okay so I'mma actually think here... HA FIRST I am the Actual Eric Derekson, Max Caulfield (tho I give myself just enough credit that I am not that cringey), and Katniss Everdeen, if I remember her well enough (and I only read the first book/saw the first movie). Are there any numbers you dislike for any reason? No. Do you own/wear any jumpsuits? No. Have you ever adopted a stray? (Cat or dog) Cats, plenty. What’s a movie you think more people should see? Idk. Do you read about any mythology? (Greek, Roman, Norse, Egyptian, etc) Haven't since high school, but I'm very interested in it. If you do, do you have any favorite gods/goddesses? Maybe Artemis. Do you think it’s prettier when the moon is full, or a crescent? Full. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Does the Kennedy Space Center qualify? Have you grown to dislike your first email address? Lol, I'll admit it's embarrassing when I have to give it out. Have you ever gotten angry at an employee and complained to the manager? No. What songs bring back happy memories for you? "Closer" by The Chainsmokers, "Leavin'" by Jesse McCartney, "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen, "All Time Low" by Jon Bellion, "Caroline" by Aminé, "I'm Not A Vampire" by Falling In Reverse, a few Billy Joel songs, a lot of old Train songs, "Let Me Hear You Scream" by Ozzy... a lot. Are there any smells that bring back happy memories? Probably? Oh, pancakes and sausage or bacon cooking, for one. I just remember the occasional times as a kid Mom would make breakfast.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

5 notes · View notes

fanfictionized · 5 years

Text

Help Me Help You - Distraction (19/?)

Character: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced!Reader / OFC

Chapter summary: Abbie tries to find a way to handle situations back at home while simultaneously dealing with the tension building up between her and Bucky.

Warnings: tension? Fluff

Words: 1.6k

Previous Chapter // Help Me Help You - Masterlist

After that, the next few days went by smoothly. And somehow she hated the silence more than action. Bruce explained to everyone how she and her powers are still affected by her PTSD and that they should handle her with extra care, although they agreed on making her continue working out since she couldn’t bear with that decision and had eventually chimed in:

“What about sports? And Wanda training me?” She was looking around, the other muttering.

“I feel better with it. I-I know that it helps me. I should continue doing that at least.”

“Fine.” Tony agreed “But we’ll decide any further according to Wanda’s impression of your progress.”

“We don’t want you getting into something you’re not ready for.” Steve had said and she had rolled her eyes at that.

She didn’t need to be handled like a freaking baby that couldn’t decide for itself. Never mind take care of itself.

After another nine days of no differences while attempting to get her powers under control, the gas-like black goo still just pouring out of her palms instead of moving where and how she pleased, she has had enough.The fifth crumpled up piece of paper landed inside her trash-can.

“What are you doing?” Bucky asked as he walked past her door. He had started to hang out in her room more often, so it didn’t surprise her. Him dropping by as casually as he did.“Nothing.” She hissed and it made her close her eyes, realizing that it sounded… well, not like nothing. He chuckled at her comment, seeing how her head hung between her shoulders, resting on one hand while her other one scribbled words onto paper.

“You think so?” He continued and she finally looked up at him. His blue eyes were gentle, calming even. Although she was on the brink of frustration and throwing everything across the room. Or maybe she’d just let her inner beast out, how about that?

She’d love to see what it had to say about her room’s interior designing.

“Yes.” She sighed and leaned back in her chair, staring at the blank piece of paper.

He approached her, so close she could feel his warmth at her back and it made her shoulders tense up, goose bumps rising on her neck.“I’m just-” She stammered, trying to find words, but it really wasn’t that complicated to begin with.

“I’m writing a letter to my mom.”“Oh.” He said. There was no surprise, just realization.

She needed her to know that she was fine. Fine for now, the rest would come at a better time since she was not entirely sure about how to tell her what exactly had happened and what it did to her only child.

And apparently it showed since all her previous attempts had already failed.“Yeah…” She replied. This was getting kind of awkward.“That’s a great idea, doll.” There it was,

that damn nickname again.

She hated how much she liked it, although she’d probably never tell him.She turned again to look at him. He was standing so close and once again, his smell hit her. Parts of her room already smelled like him, because he was always sitting all over the damn place when she was just on her bed, trying to read a book or something. Always around her somehow.

Sometimes they wouldn’t even talk, but she’d still enjoy his company.

It reminded her of the dog she had when she was younger. It would do the same exact thing.

And she couldn’t deny that it was really damn cute.

“You think?”

“Yeah.”

“I still don’t know what to write her, though. I don’t know how to tell her- I don’t want to tell her all this.” She sighed deeply as a lump began to close up her throat “I just want her to know that I’m alive. And I’m fine.” She whispered, her voice suddenly not strong enough anymore “Before she does anything stupid.”He spotted the shine of a tear on her cheek as he stood above her and his heart sunk a little deeper inside his chest.

“Hey, doll, listen. She’s gonna be just fine.” He tried to comfort her, his right hand settling on her tensed shoulder, but somehow it tensed up even more at his touch.“Will it though?” She asked, her arms crossing in front of her.

“I’ll probably put her at risk with this anyway.” She was waving that blank paper up in the air.

“Hydra’s probably trying to use anything against me they can find and if I send it to her… I don’t know.” She yammered, her voice sounding like that of a moody child.

“Nothing is going to happen to her.” He assured her. He was lying. He hadn’t though of it before and they were probably still keeping her on their record.

He realized that she was still living with that constant fear of Hydra. They could still be searching for her, trying to get a hold of her again to turn her back.

And with what they knew of her abilities, which was admittedly not a lot, it would be a devastating lost that would threaten all of them.

Her powers though weren’t the only reason.

He couldn’t continue to live with himself if anything happened to her.“How do you know that?” She looked up at him, her eyes glassy.“I just do.” He lied “I worked long enough for those bastards to know their strategy. And they wouldn’t come after her to get to you.”

Wrong.

“You did?” She asked cautiously, her voice very quiet.

He felt his face get hot and nodded.

“Yeah…”

“Okay.” She quickly broke the uncomfortable silence “I believe you.”

Ouch.

She wiped the tear off her face and stood up rapidly, her chair pushing into his chest and making him huff.“Oh, shit! Sorry.” She gasped as he had bent over to avoid her ramming the chair into his groin. Her lips pressed together as she tried not to laugh at the sight of him.“Are you laughing at me, doll?” He groaned, trying his best to grin at her with the discomfort going through his abdomen.

“No! No, I’m so sorry Bucky, I swear.” She giggled, her hand going to cover his as he was supporting himself with a grip on said chair.He looked down at their hands, then up to her face.

Her tears were gone, a smile spread across her face. Her cheeks were tinted an adorable pink.Her thumb had begun to rub tiny circles into his skin and he swallowed as he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline go through him that made his heart beat painfully fast.She bit her lip before she let go again, leaving tingling fire on his skin.He frowned at her with confusion as she walked past him, turning in the doorframe to face him.

“I need to go …training. With Sam. I’ll… be back later.” She stammered before turning so quickly it made her hair bounce on top of her shoulders and she hopped away, leaving him confused and with his heart beating in his throat.

***

Oh my god.

Was what went through her head over and over again on her way to the gym. Her scalp was stinging with the rush of adrenaline and she entered the room with cheeks so red it made her look like she had already had a workout-session.“Whoa. What’s gotten into you, kiddo?” Sam asked, surprising her by already being there.

She gulped and just shrugged, her voice stuck in her throat for a second.“Nothing. What do you want from me old man, I’m ready to go?” She mocked him and made him raise a judging brow.

She stopped squirming on the spot and rolled her eyes.“’M sorry. I’m just… I’m… motivated.” She came up with.“Yeah, no shit. Alright, how about you give me twenty push-ups.” “What? Come on, I can do better.” “I said give me twenty.”She scoffed, but fulfilled his request, getting back up with her cheeks not any lighter shade of red.“So, and now you could start off by telling me what’s really going on.” He leaned his back against one of the training machines.

She huffed, trying to think of something not too absurd to come up with.“You know; you don’t have to continue training me. I mean I’d get it.” She said and it was not only a nice distraction from the kind of emotion-twisted mess that was really going on inside her. It was also the truth she had been wanting to ask him for since after he had gotten out of bed again.“Oh, can you finally shut up about that, please? I don’t have to jump around in circles either way, that’s what I have you for.” He grinned at her, a hand holding the side of his stomach.

She smiled back at him, one brow raised.“You know that wasn’t payback for you wearing me out, right?”

He threw his head back and laughed, but immediately groaned and clutched his belly.

“Don’t worry, I won’t be so hard on you, kiddo. Also I can’t hear your apologies anymore, so shut up and grab that weight over there.”

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@humanexile @alt-er-love-er-alt @sam-jae

#slow burn #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky is not a villain #Bucky's metal arm #Eventual romance #eventual smut #eventual fluff #fanfiction #fanfic #help me help you

9 notes · View notes