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blackshinychevy · 3 years

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Let Me Go

Summary: Dean has to make a heartbreaking decision that effects both of you.

WC: 1.6k+

Warnings: Angst, Character Death

Pairing: Dean x Reader

It’s late when Sam gets back to the bunker. There’s a huge thunderstorm outside that has most of the roads flooded and blocked off. He’s barely made it back with the take out he’d gone to get for he and his older brother, but the question of whether or not Dean will actually eat it is another matter.

Sam’s starting to become extremely worried about his older sibling. Dean’s always been a strong lover of food, the greasier the better. But Sam has noticed the drop in his brother’s appetite, as well as the newly made hole in his belt now that his jeans are becoming too loose around his waist.

As he walks into the kitchen, he sees Dean sat at the kitchen table, nursing a beer that has probably long since become warm. But Sam doesn’t miss the other five empty bottles beside him, as well as an empty whiskey tumbler.

“Hey.” He greets, dropping the plastic bag of food in front of him. “Got you a double bacon cheeseburger with extra onions and a side of fries.” Sam smiles in encouragement as he piles Dean’s favorites onto the table. “And...” Sam pulls out the last treat with a grin. “...cherry pie. Best around for miles apparently.” Sam’s smile wilts when Dean doesn’t even show he’s heard him. He merely continues rolling the beer bottle back and forth between his hands. “Where’s y/n?” The younger Winchester asks, glancing around the kitchen.

“In our room.” Dean states gruffly.

Sam knows at this point he needs to tread very carefully. One wrong word and Dean could snap again like he did the other night. It had taken Sam hours to put the library back to rights after his brother had torn through it like a hurricane during a drunken rage.

“Dean.” He sighs softly. “Don’t you think it’s time now? You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

Dean drops the bottle down with a clunk, raising himself to his feet and marching towards the door. “I’m going to bed.” He states, not even glancing at his brother as he leaves the kitchen.

Sam throws the takeout box onto the table in defeat. He’d tried. But he knows he can do no more than what he’s already doing. The next step has to be entirely up to Dean.

****

Dean stumbles into your shared bedroom, shutting the door with a little more force than was probably necessary and groaning at the headache that was forming behind his eyes. “Hey, baby.” He grins at the sight of you perched on the edge of the bed, a small smile on your face as watch him.

“Hey.” You greet him back, brow quirking as he makes his way over to you with a sway in his step. “How much have you had to drink?”

“Not enough.” He groans, towing off his boots and throwing himself face first on to the bed, eyes drooping closed almost immediately.

You sigh sadly at his pain. Dean’s never been good at dealing with his emotions, choosing to bottle everything up until it all reaches a boiling point. The other night was proof of that. You’d heard his drunken yelling as things smashed against the walls, as well as Sam’s voice, pleading for his brother to calm down.

“Dean.” You call softly, leaning over his body, lips almost brushing his ear. “Dean, we need to talk.”

“Later.” He grumbles. “Need some sleep.”

Your heart breaks even more. Unlike Dean, you don’t have the option of bottling everything inside. The both of you need to talk desperately. Because you can’t continue the way you’re going. It’s not fair to him and it’s not fair to you.

“Dean. This has to stop.” Your voice cracks at the end. This is going to be the hardest thing either of you has had to do. But it’s time. “You need to let me go.”

His eyes snap open and his body jerks off the bed to sit himself up right, and he looks at you with an expression that can only be compared to terror. “No!” He roars. “How can you say that?! Ask me anything, baby. I’ll do anything you want. Just don’t ask me to do that. Please.” Tears brim in the corners of his eyes and you hear the quiver in his voice. Your heart shatters in your chest as you keep your eyes on his.

“You have to.” You press. “This isn’t healthy, baby. You need to let me go. I don’t belong here anymore. We both know that.” A tear trickles down your cheek. “It’s not your fault what happened. You can’t keep punishing yourself over it.” You smile.

He sniffs, wiping roughly under his eyes to rid his cheeks of the tears. “Why’d ya do it? Shoulda been me.” He bares his teeth in anger.

It was supposed to be a simple hunt. A werewolf been terrorizing a small town and when the three of you had tried to take it down, things had gone horribly wrong. The werewolf it turned out, had a partner, and after it tried to strike Dean from behind, you’d jumped in between the two of them to save the man you loved. The next time you left the barn, Dean was carrying your cold and bloodied body in his arms. That was three months ago, and here you are still. Trapped in the veil, unable to move on due to Dean’s grief and guilt. The brothers had burned your bones on a hunters pyre, and despite not tying yourself to anything on earth, your spirit still lingered. Dean’s soul had latched tightly on to yours, desperate to keep you with him and unable to let go.

“I jumped between you and that werewolf, because you’re the only man I’ve ever been in love with. Only one for me. I could have the chance to do that day a hundred times over. And I’d still jump in front of you.” You sigh sadly. If only you’d known about the second wolf. Maybe you’d still be there with him. Able to hold his hand and kiss him awake every morning. Feel his warm skin on yours as he made love to you under the stars in the back of the impala. Maybe you’d have grown old together, had a couple of kids and gotten married. But that was never going to happen now. His heart was still beating. And your’s had stopped.

“How do I do this with you?” He whispers, eyes red as fresh tears fall. “I don’t know how to...”

You raise your hand, brushing it along his cheek, desperately wishing you could feel the heat of it against your palm. He leans into you, feeling nothing but cold air instead of warm flesh. “You’ve got Sammy.” You soothe. “He needs you too. More than I do. And you did just fine before you met me.”

“But I need you.” He whispers. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too. So much. And I’ll be waiting for you. But you need to move on from me, Dean.” He looks horrified at your suggestion, and you offer another smile of comfort. “You need to go on living. Find another girl, fall in love again. Have children with her. Marry her if she makes you happy. And one day, if I’m still what you want, I’ll be waiting for you on the other side.”

Dean’s head falls forward as he sobs into his hands. He tries desperately to catch his breath, feeling his heart splintering behind his ribs. If they could, tears would pour from your own eyes at the sight of him so distraught.

“I don’t want to let you go.” There’s an almost pleading tone to his voice, begging you to stay.

“We know what happens to ghosts that stay too long.” You say sadly. “Please don’t make me become like that.”

Dean runs a rough hand through his hair. It’s getting longer. Another thing he’s neglected since loosing you.

“I have to don’t I? I have to let you go.” He cries silently.

“Yeah, baby. You do.” You nod. You place your hand on his knee, and Dean stares at it wistfully. His eyes close as his mind flashes back to when you’d do the same thing from the passengers seat. Laughing over at him as he sang along to Metallica and you’d both head bang to Motörhead.

He remembers the first time he’d met you on a vamp case just outside of St. Louis. They’d needed backup and Garth had sent you their way with a quick phone call. Dean would never deny how he’d fallen head over heels the first time he’d seen you. Covered in vampire blood and swinging a machete like it was your own limb. He recalls the first time you’d said you’d loved each other. It had been in the middle of a heated argument after you’d been injured on a ghoul case. You’d walked away with a sprained wrist but Dean had acted like you’d lost your entire arm. He’d tried benching you and after you’d promptly punched him in the jaw for being such a Neanderthal, he’d blurted out that he refused to let the only woman he’d ever really loved kill her self out of stupidity. He’d made love to you for the first time that night. The best night of his life. He knows he’ll never love anyone the way he loved you, but if that’s what you want for him, he’ll do it. He’ll honor your memory and keep on living. He’ll do it for you.

Dean lets out a long sigh as he opens his eyes. He turns his head to look over at you and he feels his heart disintegrate in his chest. You’re gone...

*****

There you go guys! Another oneshot! I hope you enjoyed it and stay safe and stay tuned for more. More updates this week. Xx

#dean #dean winchester x reader #Dean Winchester #dean winchester one shot #dean one shot #dean x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x y/n #dean x you #dean winchester imagine #supernatural #oneshot #angst

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elenatria · 3 years

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I saw in "Papillon 2017" Michael Socha (Mikhail). We didn't discuss about Michael so often. I think he's so underrated. He was on set amongst with Rami Malek and Charlie Hunnam. He also attended the Papillon premiere in Edinburgh. He is a big fan of the Papillon book and 1973 original film. He had an appearance at the beginning of the film. And his character's name is Julot.

Ok but THIS is why I love anon asks, it’s amazing what kinds of info and film recs people share with me. I watched “God’s own country” because of an anon ask, same with “Radioactive” and now “Papillon”. Can’t say I have regretted it.

For starters omg I had no idea that Chernobyl’s “Mikhail” was in “Papillon”...?

I also didn’t know Michael is a big fan of the Papillon book and the original film, or that he has Polish, English, Irish, and Italian ancestry. What a great coincidence though, he’s perhaps the only Chernobyl actor who shares a name with the character he played.

Talking of Rami Malek and Charlie Hunnam, guys, GUYS, if you want heartbreaking bromance and buckets of gay coding, “Papillon” is your film.

I’m gonna give a short description of most gay coding scenes so watch out because

SPOILERS.

Henri Charrière aka 'Papillon' ( Charlie Hunnam) is imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit. He has the muscles and the know-how but he doesn’t have the money to bribe the right people and escape the hellish island they’re being sent to. But Louis Dega (Rami Malek) does.

Papillon is quick to offer Dega his “protection” in exchange for money without promising to take Dega with him, but Dega turns him down; he trusts that his wife and well-paid lawyer will get him out of there asap.

Soon enough Dega realizes that he’s all alone and he has to rely on Papillon in order to survive (the prisoners know about his money), so he accepts Papi’s offer to cover each other’s back. Naturally they sleep next to each other and this is what happens:

Papillon wakes up only to find Dega’s arm draped over his shoulder. The look on his face as he removes the arm that has wandered off shows how perplexed he is, and Dega wakes up looking quite embarrassed.

But no matter how alien a male arm feels around him, seconds later Papillon has no qualms “accidentally” touching Dega’s hand, while Dega himself seems quite agitated by the unexpected contact.

Later on there’s a bit of a misunderstanding concerning the money Dega has been hiding in a tube up his ass (butt plug, anyone?) but Papillon reassures him that he’d never rob him. So they’re openly flirting now.

To the point that everyone, and I mean everyone around them perceives them as a couple.

Soon enough we get the obligatory “attack in shower” scene. It seems Papillon is getting used to, or maybe just looking for reasons to touch Dega (even if just to warn him about the imminent danger) but don’t get your hopes up because Papillon is not ready for intimacy just yet.

After Papillon gets rid of their attackers and goes back to rinsing the mud off him, just as Dega grabs his shoulder, he slaps the hand away.

He is in a state of shock and he knows very well why he put his life on the line to save the ass of that bespectacled forger. It’s not just about the money anymore: the intimacy is growing thick and he just. Won’t. Have it.

Dega now knows that he won’t survive prison without Papillon, that nobody’s waiting for him back home, and that he wants to follow Papillon no matter where he goes. Papillon is still in denial though. To him Dega is dead weight, or maybe an unnecessary temptation.

But Dega knows better.

At some point a guard beats Dega and lo and behold, it’s Papillon to the rescue - again. He gets two years in isolation for attacking that guard, and all for the sake of his precious Dega.

Dega doesn’t forget. He even pays people to sneak coconuts into Papillon’s cell so as to keep his spirit and energy up.

And Papillon knows it’s Dega. He just knows. He mutters his name gratefully, like a prayer.

Two years in isolation have passed and Papillon is taken back. Dega has earned himself a higher place among prisoners (the head of the prison seems to have a soft spot for him so who knows what favours Dega had to do to get there). As soon as he realizes his friend is back he goes to the infirmary, desperately clutching at Papi’s unresponsive hand, fumbling with the sleeve’s fabric until he touches naked skin, begging Papillon for forgiveness. He was the reason why Papi ended up in isolation after all.

Papillon is presumed insane and unresponsive so Dega opens up about his wife abandoning him.

But then “sleeping beauty” magically wakes up.

That line. Who needs women, amirite?

Dega is mad with joy to have his friend back while Papillon is already planning his escape. He tells Dega he’ll need a boat and a couple of other prisoners to help him. And then this happens.

The look of surprise and pure joy in Papillon’s eyes as he realizes that his friend wants to come with him, I mean.

“Us.”

As the film proceeds, there’s a lot of touching between them.

They survive their sinking boat, thinking they found heaven on earth, but just as Papillon decides to go back to France and leave Dega behind, he realizes they have been betrayed and the prison guards are after them - again. Instead of running away, he goes back to warn Dega and they both get captured.

For that, Papillon gets another five years in isolation. When he’s allowed to see people again, Dega finds him and takes him to that part of the prison that he calls home. As a forger and an artist, he seems to have spent the last five years drawing on the walls of his “home” and how do you know, he even drew a huge Papillon mural on the ceiling. Makes you wonder why.

In the end, Papillon wants to try to escape one more time but Dega knows already he won’t be able to follow him, he can’t swim due to his broken leg plus he’s too institutionalized now to follow the man he loves. Without telling Papillon a single word about his “defection” he rolls one of his butterfly sketches and shoves it into a bottle, secretly tucking it among the things Papillon will take on his journey to freedom. A thing to remember him by.

When the time comes, Dega confesses that he won’t follow Papillon - and breaks his heart.

This is goodbye. This was always goodbye.

Years after his escape, Henri ‘Papillon’ Charrière takes his memoirs to a French publishing house. He hasn’t forgotten a single thing and Dega’s butterfly is there to prove it. He’s filled with nostalgia as he fans out his fingers over it protectively.

He mentions a wife but the last thing we see is the butterfly that was painted on a piece of prison clothes years ago. It’s in the publisher’s hands now.

“It’s the story of a lot of men.”

Thank you, anon, for telling me about this film.

It was quite a journey.

#papillon #Michael Socha #charlie hunnam #rami malek #louis dega #henri charrière #bromance #gay coding #prison #chernobyl #mikhail #spoilers

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ibelieveinharrystyles · 3 years

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Chapter Seven: We’re Not Who We Used To Be

Harry’s heart had been shattered since his phone call with Ashley, his head was all over the place, the one positive thing he had in his life and he had lost it. After another month of moping about in Europe he found his way back to England, visiting Bath in an attempt to regain some sense of normality. He was now back in London and it had never felt less like home, as he stepped into his house it didn’t feel at all like home. The memories of eating ice cream at 2am on his sofa with Ashley when she had her first heartbreak, the late night two person dance parties in the kitchen when they were barely adults, the time he showed her how he truly felt. It felt as though all these memories had faded from existence. He moped into the kitchen, spotting a pink piece of paper on the spotless kitchen counter, he picked it up, seeing a picture that could only have been drawn by Daisy, it was the three of them. When lockdown slowly started easing, Harry had asked Ashley to pop over to his house every so often to check it was okay, he assumed she must have left it then.

“Everything seems to be going the way I’d like it to.” Ashley’s health visitor assured her as she helped Ashley sit up properly. Since Ashley was now seven months pregnant she was becoming fearful that the baby would come early like Daisy did, she had organised several home visits from the midwifery team.

“So the baby’s not too small?” Ashley asked.

“Definitely not, the baby is nearly the same size Daisy was when she was born, so fingers crossed you’ll get the natural birth you hoped for last time.”

“That’s perfect thank you Dianne,” Ashley smiled as the doorbell rang, “Could you just pop your head round the curtain and see who that is?” Ashley asked.

“It’s a man, with lots of tattoos on his arm, holding a massive bunch of flowers.” Dianne told her, “Do you want me to let him in?”

“No thanks, he doesn’t know about the baby.” Ashley told her, she knew full well it was probably Harry, and she had no desire to see him.

Harry stood awkwardly on the step of Ashley’s house, holding the biggest bouquet of flowers he could find. The door was opened by an older lady, wearing a nurse’s uniform, “Where’s Ashley? Is she okay?” Harry whispered, all sorts of things running through his head.

“She’s fine, she just doesn’t want any visitors.” Dianne told him.

“But I need to make it up to her, I need to apologise.” Harry insisted.

“Sir, I’m afraid if you continue to be persistent I will have to call the police.” Dianne told him forcefully.

“Is everything okay?” Lou asked,walking up the road towards Ashlet’s house, she had been looking after Daisy while Dianne visited Ashley. Daisy stood beside her, holding her hand.

“Harry!” Daisy slipped her hand from Lou’s, running into his arms, “I missed you Harry, I’m a proper big girl now!” She exclaimed.

“I missed you too princess, it’s so good to see you,” Harry held her tight as a single tear rolled down his face.

“I don’t think this is a good idea Harry, if Ash sees-”

“I don’t see what the problem is Lou,” Harry replied.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to let Daisy come inside and then I need you to leave.” Dianne insisted.

“What is going on? I have no clue who you are so why should I trust you with Daisy?” Harry replied.

Ashley was watching the commotion unfold from behind the curtain, she couldn’t watch it go on much longer, and she didn’t want the neighbours involving themselves. “Harry.” She said softly, appearing at the front door, he looked up at her, noticing the bump, and the look on her face.

“You’re pregnant?” His voice wobbled.

“Yeah I am, can we have this conversation inside? Lou, would Daisy be able to go back to yours for a bit?”

“Of course.” Lou smiled, taking Daisy from Harry’s arms.

The pair made their way into the living room, both aware of how difficult this conversation would be, “Why didn’t you tell me Ash?” Harry asked, placing the flowers on the side.

“I never really knew how to, you weren’t here, and part of me wanted to be sure that when you came back it would be for me, not for the baby.” Ashley told him.

“Did you not think I deserved to know?” Harry asked.

“Do you not think I deserved to have you by my side as I gave evidence against Will for beating me up after he found out about me and you?” Ashley replied bluntly.

“I know I messed up.”

“You can say that again.” Ashley remarked.

“You’re the most important thing in my life Ash, I need you more than anyone else.”

“It’s too late for that.” Ashley told him.

“But what about us? What about the baby?” Harry asked, “We’re good together Ash, you know that.”

“Are we though? We were together for two months, we barely spent any time together before I got pregnant, Daisy starts school in September, I can’t leave London just to follow you around the world.”

“I’m not asking you to do that Ash, I’m asking you for another chance.” Harry replied.

“We can’t be those people Harry,” Ashley told him, “You’ll still see the baby, you’ll still be their dad, I just can’t do this to myself, I can’t let myself love you more than I already do, only to be let down again. Whenever you’re in America all it does is drive a wedge between us.”

“What did you want me to do? Drop everything and come back?” Harry said.

“Yes Harry, because that is what being in a relationship comes down to. Sacrifice.” Ashley cried, “I think you need to leave now.”

“Before I go, who else knows about the baby?” Harry asked.

“Lou, Lottie, Niall and Louis.” Ashley whispered, knowing how much it would hurt him.

“So our mums don’t know?” Harry asked.

“No. Because I knew what would happen if they did.”

“I want you to know, you never have to worry about a custody battle, I don’t want to take a baby away from their mum.” Harry assured her.

“Goodbye Harry.”

“Goodbye Ash.” As Harry left Ashley’s house he felt as though he could crumble right there on the pavement outside her house, he loved Ashley in ways he had never loved anyone else and he didn’t want a life without her.

Harry had a habit of turning up at Gemma’s house unannounced when he was upset, there he stood on her doorstep as she opened the door to her brother with tear stained cheeks. “Come here H,” She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back as he sobbed into her shoulder.

“I’ve ruined everything Gem.” he cried.

“It can’t be that bad H,” she assured him.

“Ash is pregnant, and she doesn’t want me back, she doesn’t want to let herself get hurt again.” He told her.

“Oh Harry, come on, let's get you a drink so you can explain properly.” She led him into the kitchen, taking a glass and pouring him some of Michael’s whiskey. “I’m lost, so Ash is pregnant?”

“When did you last see her?” Harry asked.

“It must have been the Brits, we had planned to have a picnic for Daisy’s birthday but she said she was unwell, so I guess that was because of the baby.” Gemma told him.

“She said she didn’t tell me because she wanted me to come back because of her, not because of the baby. I get that, I do, I think I just assumed she would always be there, and that I’d never lose her, but I was so wrong wasn’t I?” Harry sighed, downing his glass of whiskey in one go before pouring another one.

“Harry you are Ash’s world, her heart beats for you, I don’t see this break, or whatever it is lasting, there’s no way you two could co-parent a child without ending up together again.” Gemma assured him.

“I know I should’ve come back Gem, and I wish I did, but I was scared that one day I’d break her heart, but it looks like I’ve already done the one thing I was scared of.” Harry sighed, fiddling with the rim of his glass.

“It’ll get better H, I promise.”

“Can I stay here tonight Gem? Home doesn’t really feel like home at the moment.”

“Of course you can H.”

The cool breeze of the summer evening came through the open window as Ashley sat on the living room floor, looking through old pictures of her and Harry. After putting Daisy to bed she put on one of Harry’s hoodies he had left before lockdown as the faint sound of When We Were Young by Adele came from her record player. She sifted through the pictures, remembering how much easier life was back then,pictures from the band’s first and last arena tours, pictures of Harry and Daisy when she was a little baby, her favourite picture of them both, which did nothing but shatter her heart. Those days when all she was to the world was their favourite candidate for Harry’s secret girlfriend, during the days of the band she was pictured with him constantly, she was blamed for his break up with Taylor and the failure of his on and off relationship with Kendall. That man meant everything to her, which made the pain even more unbearable, she didn’t want to let him go, but it was what she needed, and she knew that. A harsh knock on the door bought her out of her feels, she made her way to the hallway, opening the door to see Gemma, “Can I come in? Before you ask, Harry doesn’t know I’m here.” She told her.

“Sure,” Ashley smiled, leading her into the kitchen, not wanting Gemma to see the piles of old pictures on the floor in the living room.

“How have you been?” Gemma asked, noticing how red and puffy Ashley’s cheeks were.

“I’ll get there Gem, I’m just not in a place to raise two children while worrying about my relationship with Harry, I know he’s there for me emotionally, but with a four year old and another baby on the way, I need him there physically too.”

“I get that, and I know he’s going to be in and out of the country a lot, it’s his job, but he’ll never deprive you of time with your child. When he goes away the rest of us will all be here to support you.” Gemma told her.

Several days had passed and Linda had travelled down from Holmes Chapel to be with her daughter, she let herself into the house using her spare key. As she entered the living room she saw Ashley curled up on the sofa, cradling her baby bump. “Where’s Daisy?” Linda whispered, knowing Ashley wouldn’t want her to see her in this state.

“She stayed the night at Lou’s.” Ashley sniffed.

“And how are you sweetheart?” Linda asked, sitting beside her and allowing Ashley to rest her head in her lap.

“I didn’t know how much I needed Harry until I let him go.” Ashley whispered.

“I know angel, but it’s going to be alright in the end.”

#harry styles #one direction #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #one direction memes #best friend harry #harry styles fanfic #niall horan #baby #dad harry styles #harry styles fluff

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antoxsmith · 4 years

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Toxic (Part 1)

Warnings - Drama, Heartbreak

Pairings - Negan x Reader

Summary - Negan is as possessive as could be and she thought she was ready to let him go. She was wrong.

NEGAN MASTERLIST

I am in AO3 as @antoxsmith:)

Also angry Negan is daddiest.

What do you call a man that would kill another guy out of jealousness?

Toxic.

What do you do when you’ve come too deep and you don’t know how to stop him?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Or at least, she thought so. She had tried to talk to him, leave him, cry, even compared the situation with her killing one of his wives.

But did he care?

Of course not. Negan was not one of those men who cared.

First it was Liam, the cute boy about her age that had a crush on her since he heard her play the guitar. But he never tried anything more than a friendship. At least for Negan, that as enough to send him to a suicide mission out in the woods. Three men died that night and Liam was the only one that didn’t do anything wrong.

She exploded that time, but Negan said it wasn’t intentional, that the group just needed someone to be in charge. And she believed him as the fool she was.

Then, it was Louis. He was a little bit older but not as much as Negan. Louis was a straight-up flirt, with those lovely blue eyes he had, he could’ve made her melt; but she was way too much into Negan to even notice. Then, one night he disappeared. She found out he was sent to one of the other communities and not long later, news came about his passing mysteriously.

“What the fuck, Negan?” were the words she said when she walked into his office, leaving a letter with a punch on the desk. It had been written by Louis, and it said that he was ‘scared for his life’ and that ‘he saw a man following him all over the compound’, sent just days before he was killed.

“Why do you care so much?” he asked, his hands over his chest with his fingers intertwined, only looking at the letter for a half a second before realizing what it was. He looked up at her as if he was trying to read her thoughts, and of course, with jealousness.

“Don’t change the subject!” she raised her voice. “Was this you?” she asked without leaving his eyes, still leaning over the desk.

Negan just sighed slowly and held his gaze on hers. “Why…” he stood up. “… do you care…” he walked around the desk without leaving her eyes, closing the distance between them. “… so much!?” he raised his voice at the end making her flinch.

“He was my friend” she said now looking down, his voice reminding her who she was talking to. She couldn’t stand up to him, not yet.

Negan kept looking at her with a serious gaze, but after a second he smiled cockily as always. His left hand went up to her chin and made her look at him. “Do I need to remind you who is in charge here, honey?” he asked softly, tilting his head.

She swallowed hard, with fear. She just moved her head no.

“That’s so good, really good” he said without letting go of her skin. “Now, sweet cheeks, I am going to answer your question even though I shouldn’t have to” he said before being quiet a few seconds, his tongue playing with his front teeth seductively. “I didn’t do it” he said, then let go of her chin, a dark look in his eyes as he invaded her personal space.

The next time there was no way he could deny it. She heard him. She heard him telling Simon to ‘kill that mother fucker in his sleep’, and that was how she found her friend Javaad dead the next morning. She didn’t say anything. About it or… to him. She literally didn’t talk to him for days. Then she went out on a run with Simon trying to avoid him, but…

“Why are you stopping? We have to take advantage of the light!” she said, coming from the back of the RV and leaving the guns she was cleaning.

“Negan said he didn’t give you no permission to go out” Simon said simply as he turned around the RV going back to the sanctuary.

“What? No! Wait, we have to go there I know there’s something in that gas station!” She said feeling anxious not wanting to go back to Negan.

“I am going. Later” he said, only looking at her for a second before turning back to the road. “You shouldn’t try to run from him,” Simon advised.

And yeah, she shouldn’t have tried.

As soon as she had arrived at The Sanctuary, Negan had called her into his office. When she entered the room, Sherry was there and Negan was kissing her neck.

She looked down to the ground when she saw that little scene, and coughed trying to get his attention. He looked up, but didn’t stop till he wanted to, his lips on Sherry’s skin for some more time. Then sent Sherry away after whispering something to her.

“Close the door.” was the only thing he said. She obeyed.

He was sitting there with Lucille right in front of him on the desk. She just stayed there then, standing like a fearful idiot that couldn’t even look at him in the eye.

“What the fuck is it about you that you are trying to drive me nuts?” he asked like he was so full of her shit.

“Me?” she asked confused and angry, looking up to him. “You are the one killing everyone close to me” she said with sad eyes.

“I am no-“

“I heard you the other night when you sent them to kill Javaad.” She stopped his lie. “Don’t deny it, please.”

Negan looked angrier now. He moved one finger signaling for her to come closer. And again, she obeyed. She walked around the desk and stopped next to him, looking down to the floor with sadness.

“He was trying to get with you.” was his only justification. She felt her blood boiling in angriness. “Just as Louis and Liam.” He said looking at her.

“What!?” she asked when she heard that. “But you said you didn’t!” she yelled, disappointed. Negan furrowed his eyebrows and stood up, rising in front of her and making her feel little.

“What was that again?” he asked with his hand on his earlobe in a sarcastic move. “Thought I heard you yell something” he said sarcastically.

She put her hands over her face. “Why would you do this to me?”

“To you!?” he raised his voice. “Well fuckity fuck I was right. Those fuckers were too important if it hurt you so bad” he raised his eyebrows.

“What?” she asked truly confused. “What the fuck, Negan?” she raised her voice too, looking up to him. That was the first time she ever talked back to him like that and he looked truly surprised. “I didn’t do anything with them and I wouldn’t because… because…!” she couldn’t say it. She moved her head no and ran her fingers through her hair, turning around.

“Because?” he asked with his sarcastic tone, leaning on the desk, as if he didn’t care but oh, he did. She had never yelled at him like that and it concerned him, but he couldn’t understand why she was so angry.

She turned to see him; her eyes full of tears. “I want out.” She finally said, her hands in fists trying not to lose it. She felt as if she was responsible for her three dead friends.

“You want- What!?” he asked as if he was afraid of something. But she didn’t even notice. She was already walking towards the door.

Negan was way faster. He put his much larger hand over the door right in front of her face making her close it strongly, and turned her around by holding her forearm with far more strength than he intended to.

“You can’t” he said leaning in towards her.

She looked at him with a comical look. “Where is the ‘you are free to go anytime you want’?” she raised one eyebrow as she cleaned up her tears. He didn’t answer and with that silence, she tried to open the door again but he didn’t let her.

“What the fuck Negan!?” she asked now getting anxious.

“You are not going anywhere,” he said in a calm tone that only did hide a tremendous amount of angriness. And she could see it in his eyes.

“I said I want o- “

She shut up when he hit the door behind her with his fist, getting scared.

“There’s no ‘out’ of this!” he snapped.

“Look, I don’t know what’s wrong with you right now but- “

“You did this! You can’t blame me over it!”

She opened her mouth when she heard that, truly surprised. “I didn’t d- “

“That fucking Louis was always trying to get into your panties and you played the fool! Am I supposed to let that slip!?”

“Wha- “

“And then Jawad or whatever the fuck is his name gave you flowers right in front of everyone in the garden!” he claimed as if he was in his right. “Fuck!” he screamed this time, hitting the door again and now truly scaring her to the point she covered her head thinking he would hit her. That was when he snapped back to reality. “No, no, sweet cheeks I wasn’t…” he put one of his hands over hers making her gasp and flinch.

“Please just let me out. We can talk later.” She said as if she was a robot.

He sighed softly, then nodded. “Go” he simply said, turning around, almost embarrassed even though she was too scared to notice. She quickly ran out of there and went to her room. “What the hell was that?” she asked to herself once there, her chest going quickly up and down. She was genuinely scared, confused, surprised and weirdly excited. Negan had never acted like that with her.

Maybe it was solely because she knew… things. Maybe it was because he had confessed to her a lot of shit about his past. Maybe he was just… as confused as she was.

“What the fuck?” he asked to himself once alone in his office.

But the fact that she left him with his thoughts was not a good thing. He started convincing himself that nothing about her was that special. And in the end, he was sure about it. So, the next day, when he called her into his office again, it wasn’t for what you could call an explanation.

“Come here” he simply said, patting his lap, after looking at her standing in front of the desk for what felt like an eternity in complete, dead silence.

She looked confused but she moved, looking at his eyes as she did. Once she was next to him, she stopped and sighed.

“Negan, I don’t think I- “

“I didn’t ask.” He cut her off in a serious tone.

She bit the inside of her mouth and obeyed. Softly, she sat on his lap trying not to feel like a toy. Before, she used to like it a lot; for him to tell her what to do. She thought it was sexy somehow. But in these circumstances?

He put his arms on her hips, the difference of sizes very obvious.

She looked up to him, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“What?” he asked.

“I don’t know” she shrugged as if she was a kid.

He caressed her thighs softly still looking into her eyes as if he was trying to read something in them. “Are you leaving?”

She looked confused. “I… guess so” she nodded, looking as if she was dying for him to just say something else, to not let her go. She looked down then, playing with his jacket’s zipper. He didn’t look surprised.

“Then there’s a spot for you in The Hilltop.” He simply answered. “We will need your room clean by tomorrow morning. There’s someone else coming for your spot” he didn’t remove the hands on her hips.

“My spot’?” she asked confused. “I-I thought- “

“Yeah. There’s not another room available for her and since you are so eager to go then it’s what you would call perfect timing, doll” he explained as if he didn’t care.

She felt her heart break right there.

“Just like that?” she asked, her voice breaking.

“Yes” he said coldly but his looks said otherwise, still studying her face.

“So, all of this…” she stood up not caring about his hands trying to pull her down again, and forced her way up. “For nothing?” she asked, eyes now full of tears.

“All of what?” he asked oblivious looking up to her from his seat, raising one of his eyebrows.

She just moved her head no. “Just- Just… Just get away from me” she said and ran out of the room not wanting for him to see her cry.

He stayed there, looking at the door and suddenly, he felt like he hadn’t in years.

Like shit.

Part 2 HERE

#negan #The Walking Dead #the walking dead negan #negan x original female character #negan x reader #negan x you #negan x y/n #negan x oc #twd #writing #fanfic #fanfiction

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fluorescentpipedream · 4 years

Text

For Aliviya pt 1

Deacon has ever been the calm one of his family. The middle child is often credited with being brash and attention-seeking as they try to outshine their older or younger siblings but that was never the case for him. Born after the twins, Benjamin and Charlotte and followed by their baby sister Rachel, Deacon was a more determined, hard working young man never content to stay on the side but also not one to rock the boat. With his parents, Lord Harrison Moore and his beautiful wife Francesca, behind him in any and all of his endeavors, he’s always been free to be the kind of man that would be the best representative of his family. The Moore family is 13th in line for the throne in England, and to some degree a favorite of the Queen, even being so long out of being actual royalty. When he was in his early 20′s, he moved out of London and into a mini-mansion in Bibury, by way of Gloucestershire. The picturesque little hideaway was his own private home, only an hour outside of London itself but it gave him a sense of peace and serenity. There, Deacon had three Irish wolfhounds named Gaius, Augustus and Brutus and for a time he had a young woman he’d been courting for some time, and while he’d been able to accept her harsh temper and selfish ways, things with Diana Ashworth were not meant to be.

Something changed in him when he was rather spectacularly dumped by Diana after they had been together for nearly seven years. Her reasoning made little sense, she said the $2.5 million, Harry Winston ring was too small and tacky and made a scene when Deacon had tried to propose to her. Whatever her reasoning really was, he could never be sure but after the dust had settled, he’d finally realized how terrible for him she had really been. Diana was a very “particular” woman. She liked to have things a certain way, usually with servants for nearly everything she could ever need and with all the money she had, she was expecting to live in the lap of luxury inside the safe confines of one of the main areas of London, none of which fit Deacon’s small “cottage” as he called it. She didn’t like his dogs and often didn’t respect him much either, all things he came to see only after they had rather publicly broken up. Another thing Deacon disliked had been how public she liked to do anything and everything. Diana always wanted to be seen doing something, so people who still think of her...but considering her family wasn’t as well known as the Moores, it may have had more to do with her wanting to show off her newly acquired status. Whatever the reason, he was happy to have her gone but had been left in a vulnerable position now without her.

One thing he had always prided himself on was having close friends with those in his same caliber, the likes of Niall Hannigan and Peter Danvers, just to name a few. These men always had his back, or so he had thought but their idea of comforting him following his breakup was to use a work trip to the states, specifically St. Louis, to visit a sex party. The rules had been simple enough, wear a mask and never exchange names, this was meant to be a meeting of like-minded individuals looking for a night of consensual frivolity, though while it might have been Niall and Peter’s scene, it was hardly Deacon’s. Still, he had allowed himself to be drug to this horrible thing, though he’d ultimately ended up in a private room with a few bottles of wine, trying to forget where he was and exactly why he was there. Through some strike of fate, it was that night he met Aliviya St. Michael. Ali blew him away, her kindness and compassion when he was at his worst had been more of a comfort in his heartbreak than his closest friends.Deacon never saw her full face but there was something in Aliviya’s eyes that just seemed to stick with him.

The Monday after the party, Deacon had found himself still hungover and mortified by his unprofessional behavior, as his father would have described it. For all of his attempts to actually make himself look presentable, he just came across as disheveled and tired looking. Or so he had believed. When he’d arrived at Giovanni Incorporated, the darkening sky opened and began a steady, chilly downpour over his head. He had come into the building shaking out the collar of his wool jacket. His bodyguard and one of his best friends, Samson, had failed to get the umbrella up in time as they had been walking into the building and both men had gotten drenched. Most people would have been annoyed but Deacon had only laughed if off, running a hand through his hair and rushed to catch an elevator that was already going up. Samson and his partner, an impressive sized man named Roman, remained in the lobby of the office, waiting for Deacon to come back down again. After they left here, it was back to the Chase Park Plaza to get some much needed rest before they would all fly home.

Deacon finished shaking out his coat once he was in the elevator and scowled as he realized the warped reflection in the chrome showed exactly how bad he looked. As he struggled to fix his tie, his eyes shifted slightly towards those beautiful eyes he had been thinking about since Saturday. Aliviya offered to fix his tie for him and as her fingers had played with the soft silk of his tie he’d lost his mind for a moment, carefully tipping her face up towards his and kissed her. It straight out of a badly written romantic comedy movie, but he had recognized her eyes, the softness of her touch on his chest and the lyrical tone to her voice, everything had been there exactly as he remembered it. For only a moment, he’d had those perfect lips on his own again before the moment ended and as any actual woman would do when a strange man kissed him, she slapped him. Deacon had been flustered but what was he supposed to say? “Hey I’m that guy you found sobbing in the private room at the sex party downtown this weekend, want to go out?” It didn’t have the greatest ring to it.

Instead, he had apologized several times for stepping out of bounds with her and told her that she had looked like someone he thought he knew. That hadn’t been the best recovery either, but as she got off on the 7th floor, Deacon hesitated but decided not to say anything. It wasn’t until he was leaving the office later that evening that the two saw one another again and he was given a second chance to talk to her. The poor girl had a busted umbrella and seemed to be at her wits end as she stood in the rain waiting for the bus. He had asked Roman to pull up alongside her and asked if she would like a ride.

"I’m fine....fine.”

“You don’t look fine...Lord Moore would like to offer you a ride, anywhere you want to go?”

“Lord...Moore....No no, it’s really fine.”

Deacon had rolled his window down and looked at the young woman for a moment, wanting to bring her inside and take her back to the hotel with him though the best he could do was offer a soft “please”. She had eventually given in, though only allowed him to take her to a rather run-down looking apartment building a few blocks away.

“I’d like to take you out to dinner...”

“That kiss didn’t mean anything, really...it’s fine. I’m afraid I don’t really have the time...I have class and I work early tomorrow...”

“What about after class?”

“You’re persistent, aren’t you?”

“I tend to be very determined...” Deacon had started then, leaning forward in his seat as he looked over her and after a moment he reached out to take her hand. “I have met you before, Aliviya....on Saturday. You had been kind to me when you could have left me alone... I’d like to have a real chance to get to know you. When I’m not sobbing into my cheap chardonnay.”

It had started out so innocent, dinner in a diner after she had gotten out of class for the night and over time their romance bloomed. It was still a bit like a movie and sometimes, Deacon found himself wondering how he’d managed to be so lucky as to meet someone like her. She was driven, hard working and had an odd variety of friends, all of which brought something new to her personality that Deacon may not have noticed before. Her compassion and caring nature was rivaled only by her beauty, which was as much inside as it was out.

As it stood, Deacon and Aliviya had been dating for six months, almost entirely remotely due to his living in London and her being in St. Louis. It was difficult, only seeing her when he was able to come in and often work prefaced the trip as it was the only time he could get away from his family business.

They had made it through some pretty murky waters as all relationships struggle but the long distance ones are extra tricky. The main issue had resolved itself only a few weeks ago, when Ali had been used as a scapegoat for a massive embezzlement scandal going on within Giovanni Incorporated and while his father and brother had wanted Deacon to break off his relationship with her, he hadn’t been able to actually ever say the words. He had been a little distant through it but when it all came down, Deacon didn’t believe Aliviya to be the type to steal money from anyone, much less a company that she bent over backwards for and who had taken a chance on her. Though the situation had worked itself out and the right people had been persecuted for the role they played, Ali had been left unsettled about the whole thing, not that anyone could blame her. As they sat together on her couch, Deacon attempting to offer comfort he finally came off with the only thing he could think of.

“You need a vacation.”

“Yeah...right let me just pull that out of my ass.” Her dry tone caught him off guard but he recovered, chuckling.

“Vincent would like you to take some time off to regather yourself, after the entire situation he believes everyone needs some time to settle back in again. Not to mention...with you taking over as Mr. Lowery’s new assistant, it’s going to take some time to get everything processed.”

“Oh...and where am I going on this vacation?” She seemed to be warming up to the idea, that was a good sign at the very least. Deacon thought for a moment before finally speaking again.

“You had to meet my brother and father under the worst circumstances, I’d like you to meet the rest of my family, on my terms this time...you could come to England with me...I’ll introduce you to my family and if it goes well, we can go to my parent’s anniversary trip in Greece.”

“Deacon...that’s a big trip and...your father...he doesn’t like me. He said it to my face...”

Deacon frowned and looked at her. “I know, chicken...I know. But the last time I allowed everyone to make decisions about my life for me, I nearly married someone who had none of my best interests in mind.” Diana had been one of Charlotte’s friends and while he didn’t blame his older sister in the least for her friends’ conniving ways, everyone had thought she was going to be the best person for him. His father may have told Ali to her face that he didn’t think she was right for his son, but he’d said the opposite about someone who shattered him, it was his turn to make his own choice.

“My friends like you..." He trailed off, knowing that wasn’t exactly a good way to start. Niall liked everyone and while Peter could be pretty discerning he wasn’t overly picky. His brother Michael was a bit more choosy but then again, Michael was...unique. Gavin Deveroux was the one that would give him his honest opinion, Deacon knew and trusted that at least. But Gavin hadn’t had a chance to meet her yet. Deacon frowned softly before starting again.

“Ali, I want you to come with me. I want you to see where I live...and I know things have been tense but I’d like to keep you in my life. This is something important to me. I love you...and I want to show you the places that matter the most to me.” His parents’ home was one of those, but the other was his “cottage”. A place all his own that Diana had almost ruined with all of her issues with it, but it was still home and still his favorite place to be. Aliviya was quickly becoming his favorite person, so of course he’d want to take her to his favorite place, right?

There was silence for a while as she seemed to consider it and when she finally agreed, as long as she could bring Mike with her. Mike was...an odd egg, as Deacon’s aunt Sarah would have called him. The smartest man in the room at 28 years old, he could sound like the genius he was one minute and the loudest, gayest man only half a second later. It always amused Deacon how the man’s mood could fluctuate, but he was Ali’s closest friends and because of that, he was quickly becoming very important to Deacon too. Mike was a good judge of character and if the situation got too uncomfortable, he would give her an easy out of the situation. Deacon felt his heart swell like a balloon filled with too much air. He hopped off of her couch, startling one of her two cats, and captured Ali in his arms, cupping her face in his hands and kissed her deeply.

“I love you, chicken.” She had returned his kiss deeply and leaned back only slightly.

“I love when you call me that.” Deacon beamed. Chicken was a term of endearment his grandfather used to call his grandmother when they were together, and they had survived World War II together, he was part of the Royal Navy and she was a nurse, not a lady or a duchess, just a woman who had met him when he was hospitalized following a siege and he had fallen head over heels for her. Deacon’s grandfather, the late Lord Moore, had been an amazing man, still a Lord even though he was also a naval officer. And he had the greatest love story, Deacon had always loved hearing it.

Aliviya had agreed to join Deacon after Mike’s Mensa meeting in Washington. The two of them would be flying together to New York on first class and after a day to rest they would take the Moore family private jet the rest of the way to London. After picking her up it was just a short drive out of the main city and to the family home in Oxfordshire. Aliviya was going to be meeting his mother and both of his sisters, as well as the majority of the family when she joined them on the family yacht in Greece. He had plans there, of course, but those would come into play soon enough.

When the pair had made it to New York, they were met on the air strip by Roman, who rode with them on the plane the rest of the way. The flight itself was only going to take 7 hours, as opposed to the 12.5 it would have taken for them to make it commercially, which was part of why Deacon had insisted that they travel this way. The other was so they would have a quiet, easy trip. The jet was one of the luxury liners that featured it’s own staff, a bedroom in the back as well as a working shower and high quality entertainment system. Roman had told a very amused Deacon via text messages that Ali and Mike had wandered through the whole of the plane before choosing a place to sit and played cards with drinks and a mild meal during the flight. Of course she wouldn’t take advantage of all of the amenities but he had wished he could have heard the noise when she’d seen it. Oh well, all in due time, there was still the yacht.

It was late when the plane arrived at the private airstrip near the family home, and Deacon was waiting on the concourse for them with flowers and a bright smile. They were going to the Moore estate for the first few days before they’d be heading to Santorini, Greece for his parents’ anniversary. Most of the family and some very high profile guests would be in attendance and while he was nervous about inviting Ali to the party, he was more looking forward to having her on his arm and introducing her as his girlfriend. It would be the first big event he had been to since his breakup with Diana, and luckily she would be nowhere in sight. As they got off the plane, he watched Roman fight off a yawn before he set about getting the bags out of the back. Samson moved to take their smaller personal items and set them in the car before opening the door. Ali had run to him, her arms going around his neck like he was catching her and holding her for an eternity, which he could have, in all honesty. Kissing her deeply, Deacon leaned back and smiled.

“Chicken! I’m so glad you’re here finally! How was your flight?”

“Smooth and uneventful.” Mike muttered as he stumbled down the last step and lost his balance, falling into Roman’s arms. It took him a second before he barked out a laugh. “Thanks Hulk” Deacon chuckled softly. His two bodyguards had wound up with nicknames now because of these two, and honestly now he couldn’t unsee it. Samoan Hulk was Roman, a 6.5ft monster of a Samoan man with broad, tattooed shoulders and a shaved head. He looked like someone that should be a fighter. The other was Samson, or Samoan Jesus, as Ali had referred to him. He had long hair and dark, piercing eyes. The irony of his tough guy exterior was his love for growing roses in Bibury in the house beside Deacon and spending time with his 5ft tall wife.

“Deacon!”

Deacon beamed, holding her close for another moment or two before letting her go. “Shall we head to the house?” He looked back at Mike and smiled at him though only got a halfhearted smile back.

“Are you alright?”

“Hmm? Oh...yeah. Sorry...I’m fine. It’s good to see you again, Deacon. I’m just really tried.” And distracted, Deacon thought but he didn’t say anything. The other man moved over and got a hug from him as well before letting him go and got into the car. Ali had told him that Mike was going through some things, so this listless behavior was probably because of that. After they were settled into the car, he turned Ali’s face towards his and kissed her gently, teasing her mouth softly as he did so.

“Since you’ve had such a long couple of days, my parents thought breakfast together might be the better way to go, rather than bombarding you as soon as you arrived. Is that alright?”

“I like that idea much better, I can’t wait to meet your mom. Roman was telling us about everyone on the plane so we’d be more prepared...though I’m still really nervous. After everything what if...”

Deacon stopped her with a soft shake of his head. “Nothing that happened had anything to do with you, chicken. It’s just something that happened while you were there. I’ve reassured them, they’re looking forward to getting to meet you finally.”

“Lord Moore has been talking about you non-stop every time he comes home, at this point the Lady Moore may know you better than you know yourself” Samson had quipped from the driver’s seat ahead of them before exchanging a look with Roman before both men laughed.

“It’s a short drive to the house....Oh... Lord Moore? Em and I brought up the boys, so they’re waiting for you too.”

“Oh god.” Deacon’s dogs were about 3ft tall and weighed about 175lbs each, and whenever they saw him both Augustus and Brutus would rush him, tackling him to the ground. When he was with Diana, he’d had three of the wolfhounds, but Gaius was unfortunately poisoned and died only a month before the proposal incident. Deacon still missed the old gray beast but his two brothers more than made up for his lack of presence. He laughed lightly and looked at Ali.

“They’re going to pounce you.”

Ali laid her head on his shoulder when he settled back in the seat, she wasn’t asleep but she had her eyes closed. Deacon started playing with her hair and did so, absently as they drove on in silence. The ride itself wasn’t much to really see this time of the night, he figured while they were in the area he would play tour guide for a few days and take them to the Tower of London or one of the museums or something. While he wanted Ali to stay here with him forever he wasn’t sure how long she was going to want to stay in England, especially since her entire life was in St. Louis.

When they had arrived at the house, Mike leaned forward and lightly poked Ali’s nose like it was a button and motioned to the great gates that lead up the drive. “We’re entering Downton Abbey.” He mused and Deacon laughed, lightly rubbing on her back before pointing out the window.

“The drive goes all the way up and circles around a fountain in the middle of the courtyard. It’s lit up right now but you’ll really get to see it in the morning. The manor’s courtyards are a tourist attraction in their own right.”

“Hmm...I can’t wait to see it.”

Deacon smiled and kissed the top of her head before the car slowed to a stop and Roman got out to open the door for her, while Samson opened up Deacon’s side for him and Mike. Just as he had predicted, the front doors were open already and the boys were sitting on the steps, waiting to be called. They looked like mutts, but they were actually thoroughbreds. Taking a stance much like that of someone playing rugby, Deacon planted his feet and called out to the dogs. Just as he had said they both rushed down the stairs and tackled him to the ground licking him and nuzzling their heads into him like they hadn’t seen him in weeks, even though it had only been a couple of days. Laughing, Deacon managed to push them off after a minute or two and took Samson’s offered hand to get off the ground. For their part, Augustus and Brutus moved and sat down like perfect gentlemen as Deacon held his hand out for Ali to take, and introduced her. Brutus moved to pounce on her but Deacon held his hand up, stopping him without even a word. Instead they approached her slowly, sniffing her hand and then Augustus licked it before walking away.

“Bloody hell I thought they were going to rush you too.” Deacon laughed and made another hand gesture at the boys, they both walked back up the stairs again, taking their place beside the front door and waiting patiently.

“Those aren’t dogs, those are furry horses.” Ali laughed, wiping the drool onto her pants before picking up her purse from inside the car.

“I know...they can be quite a handful but I love them. Come on...let’s get everyone settled.”

As they entered the grand foyer of the manor, the lights were already on and the whole house had a soft glow to it. Unlike a lot of the bigger mansions that have a cold feeling to them, this one actually felt like the family had all lived in it and there was a residual warmth left from them. In his father’s office, there was a pillar that marked the growth of each of the Moore children and now their little niece too. Charlotte and her daughter were coming in tomorrow, and Benjamin and his teenage daughter Tess should already be settled in. As they came in, Deacon smiled up at a beautiful, older woman with whitish blond hair and bright eyes.

“Aliviya St. Michael and Mike Tomlin, I’d like to introduce you to the Lady Francesca Moore. Mom I thought you weren’t going to do this until tomorrow?”

“Nonsense, I wanted to be the one to welcome this young lady to our home, Deacon...”

“Ah...well....at least Charlotte can still surprise us with the Princess. Is father in his study?”

“Of course he is, he’ll be out in a moment.” No doubt his father had told her about Ali when he’d met her the first time, so it wasn’t much of a surprise that they were both here and ready to introduce themselves properly. Francesca looked comfortable in a loose fit gray dress and a black shawl around her shoulders. Her hair was pulled back and tucked around a little. She looked to Deacon as though she had been reading on his father’s couch. Behind them, Samson and Roman moved silently up the stairs to take Ali and Mike’s suitcases up to their designated rooms. Ali had a room of her own, of course, but Deacon had already told Samson to take her suitcase to his room, since it wasn’t likely she’d be spending much time apart from him. Mike’s room actually overlooked the back part of the house and his mother’s garden, the lighting made it look beautiful of course but tomorrow it was going to be a truly stunning view. Deacon shifted a little uncomfortably before his mother took notice and only smiled at her son, with a soft, understanding look. He had been hoping to save the uncomfortable introductions for later, not having to do them right as they arrived.

“Alright...well Deacon’s giving me that look...I’ll let you all get settled and see you for breakfast outside in the gardens.” Deacon moved and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek before she left them to undoubtedly go check in on her husband in is study. Letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, Deacon laughed uncomfortably.

“Sorry about that...Umm...Mike your room is upstairs and the last room on the left. It’s got its own bathroom so you won’t have to worry about running into anyone. Chicken...I’ll show you to our room?”

“Our room?” Ali’s eyes twinkled and Deacon couldn’t help but smile, the light of it reaching into his eyes and dancing.

“Well you do have one of your own near Mike’s but...I thought you’d want to stay with me”

“Uh-huh. I want a real tour tomorrow though, this house is huge.”

“And very easy to get lost in” Came Harrison’s cool voice from the other side of the main hallway. He smiled and moved towards them, all but ignoring his son’s uncomfortable stance. “Aliviya, it’s good to see you again. You’ll forgive me for that unfortunate business the last time? I’m afraid I was a little more rude to you than I should have been.”

Ali, for all her grace under fire looked somewhat relieved to have gotten an actual apology out of his father. Harrison was wearing a soft pair of black pants and a gray jumper that made him look less like a lord at the moment and more like an older gentleman getting ready for bed.Harrison’s eyes fell on Mike as he shifted to the side and extended his hand to the other man. Mike took it and gave him a firm handshake, making his introduction simple before the Lord’s attention went back to Ali.

“You two look absolutely bushed, I’ll let you get settled and see everyone in the morning. Deacon...” Harrison nodded his head towards his son before heading back in the direction of his and his wife’s room. After hearing the door click shut Deacon’s eyes widened before he shook his head.

“Ah...well that was uncomfortable.”

“Parents are the same in any country it seems...” Mike moved and kissed Ali’s cheek before telling them goodnight and heading upstairs to his room. Deacon watched him pause for a moment before turning his head to the right and headed in that direction. Deacon chuckled before holding his hand out to Ali.

“Shall we, love?”

Deacon’s room was one of the larger ones on the second floor to the left of the stairs. It had actually been his brother’s room first, before he’d moved into it some time after Ben had left for college. The windows faced the front of the house and had heavy, blackout curtains framing both sides in a soft green fabric. The rest of the room looked like a small apartment, and had a small sitting area to one side beside the walk-in and around closet. Behind the couch was Deacon’s cherry wood sleigh bed with a warm looking comforter made up perfectly with several of the decorative pillows positioned to hide the king sized pillows. At the foot of the bed was an extra soft wool knitted blanket from Killian McLeod's wife. She used to make the blankets before she had gotten too sick, though they had a few of them scattered around the house. To the right of the entrance was another door that lead into a relatively large bathroom with an enclosed closet for towels to one side and a hamper hidden behind a small curtained opening under the sink, set within the counter space. Everything on the counter had it’s own special place, and it looked like it had never been touched, even though he had actually stayed here the last few days. Further into the bathroom was a tiled, waterfall style shower to one side, a simple sink and a small half wall that separated the toilet from the rest of the room, seemingly hiding it.

Bringing Ali into the room, he took her purse from her and set it on his couch, moving over to turn on the fireplace. As it came to life, the light of the faux flames danced in the dim lit room, casting shadows this way and that. There were bookshelves built into the wall all along the sides of the fireplace and above it, filled with a lot of Deacon’s favorite books. Moving back over to her, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply, nuzzling her softly.

“I have missed you, chicken.” Deacon purred against her lips. He knew the next few days were going to be a little tough to get through, between his friends coming in from parts unknown to the various friends and family that would be introducing themselves to Ali...it was going to be a little crazy. But right now was just for them. Brushing her hair over her shoulder, Deacon moved his lips down around her neck and nipped at her playfully, teasing her skin until he felt the little goose pimples rising up on her. As he leaned back and looked into her eyes, Deacon smiled and suddenly scooped Ali up in his arms, carrying her over to the bed and laid her down on one side of it, climbing onto the bed with her, kissing his way down her body. They hadn’t had much of a chance to be together for some time and he wasn’t sure how much time alone they were going to have in the next few days.

“Deacon...I’ve been traveling all day...I....” For every inch Deacon moved her shirt he kissed around the skin, teasing her stomach and up her chest, finally removing the shirt and tossing it over the foot board and onto the floor revealing her bra beneath.

“Do you want me to stop?” He rested his chin on her stomach for a moment, looking up at her with a playful, almost hungry look.

“N-no...” Deacon smiled and continued to work his way along her body, moving his hands underneath her and carefully unhooked her bra without a second glance or even much of a pause. Slipping it off her shoulders, he looked down at her body for a moment and smiled, beginning to work down this time, taking extra care to give each breast a bit of time of its own, lightly flicking his tongue over each of her nipples before moving away from it. He only wanted to tease her right now, though he watched how her body reacted to him and it seemed to only fuel his movements. His fingers danced along her hips before he sat up slowly on her and began unbuttoning his shirt, pulling it from his trousers though he didn’t take it all the way off just yet, instead left the baby blue cotton hanging open as he shifted his hips just enough to begin pushing Ali’s pants down, repeating his delicate kisses.

Before he got too much further, Deacon slipped off of her and carefully pulled her pants and panties down at the same time, tossing them to the side before taking a moment to just look over Ali’s body on the bed. He knew she was tired and sex was probably the furthest thing from her mind right now but having her finally here in his country, his house, his bed, there was something about it all that had driven him nearly to the point of no return as it was. Unbuttoning his pants, Deacon left them open as he took off his shirt and added it to the scattered bits of clothing on the floor and opened up a drawer in his bedside table. Of course, his brother had bought condoms recently.

#Richard Armitage #part 1 #characters

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kiatheinsomniac · 4 years

Text

Chapter III: Rooftop Talks

Part one: here Part two: here

Every student was gathered in the hall. (Y/n) looked around oddly, taking a mental headcount. There were only twenty-five students. That was one class.

They had just met the principal, Crawford Starrick who was standing on a podium and had just announced that they were allowed to have their first day to themselves in order to familiarise themselves with the building and the grounds. Perfectly timed, he asked if anyone had any questions. A few hands went up, along with (Y/n)’s.

“So, do we get to go out on the weekends at all?” Asked a boy who looked strikingly similar to Evie. (Y/n) concluded that this must be her twin, Jacob.

“If you’re willing to make the walk.” The principal replied. (Y/n)’s brows shot up, recalling how long the drive had been through the woods; she couldn’t imagine walking that distance. She was called on next.

“Is this everyone? I mean, it’s only one class unless we’re being split into two smaller classes.” She pointed out her observation.

“Each student here is handpicked for success.” The reactions to this were a mix of straightening backs with pride and scoffing, “We want you all to achieve your very best and thought a singular class would better achieve that.” He explained. (Y/n) nodded her head but something about it felt odd. Just one class? Then again, it could be down to the school being new and having to prove its worth before it could accept more students. “Kassandra.” He called on the Greek who had her hand up.

“So what aren’t we allowed to do?” She questioned, not wanting to get into an argument with staff over something she didn’t know.

“Break curfew, start fights, truant, steal, fail to hand in assigned tasks on time, disobey staff, have mobile phones.” The Greek smiled sweetly.

“Ok.” Was her simple answer. (Y/n) squinted her eyes at her slightly. She seemed far too happy with that answer. Why was she smiling so much? Why did her eyes light up?

With no more questions left, they were dismissed to familiarise themselves with the grounds. (Y/n) made her way over to Kassandra, curious. The Greek grabbed her hand and went running down the hall. A few other students watched this, curious before looking to their peers and shrugging, running after them.

When Kassandra finally stopped, they were standing at the top of a staircase by a set of old rusty doors. (Y/n) turned around to see that they had company. Claudia, Aveline and two other boys who (Y/n) didn’t know were all behind Kassandra and herself.

There was a loud creak and snap. Kassandra had kicked the door open, breaking the worn-down lock inside while keeping the doors intact. There was glass on the outside of the metal framing but it was so overgrown with moss that it was difficult to see what was outside. Was this some sort of balcony?

As soon as the doors were opened, it was revealed to be the roof. They all walked out onto it, chattering among themselves while (Y/n) made her way to the edge of the far wall. She could see the lake that gave Vermere Lake Grammar School its name. It was off in the distance, past the extravagant gardens and field with a few layers of trees blocking it from the view if you were on the ground. It appeared to be a clearing in the middle of the sea of green trees and had a stream trickling into it.

(Y/n) took the opportunity to look around the area from a higher viewpoint which she stood on. Trees and trees and trees covered the hills around the school. The colour was quickly becoming sickening to look at everywhere she turned.

Her (e/c) orbs flickered to the gardens and the sports field. She prayed that she wouldn't have to participate in any form of physical education. She had always been far more academic than athletic and saw it as a waste of time - she could be studying something far more useful in her opinion. The gardens were wonderful and defined by tidy gravel paths. The hedges and trees were trimmed to perfection and the colourful pop of the flowerbeds were a nice change from the constant, droning green. There were statues scattered in a grid among the gardens and a large fountain stood proudly in the epicentre of it all. The water was running, putting on a repetitive show, sunlight reflecting off the water and making it sparkle, while statues of cherub angels and mermaids were in the centre. It was a very flamboyant school, indeed.

She shuffled a little closer to the edge before a pair of hands carefully held her sides in a tight, yet cautious grip, causing her to jolt slightly with surprise.

“Careful, don’t fall.” A male voice spoke from behind her. She turned around to see that it was a boy with long brown hair which he swept back into a ponytail, tied with red satin. His skin was softly sunkissed and he had rich brown eyes with golden tones glimmering amongst them. He wore a deep blue high-necked jumper which defined his torso and was tucked into a pair of black trousers which were accompanied by a black Louis Vuitton belt and black suede boots. She took a step from the edge, which inevitably brought her body closer to his, before making her way past him.

She flashed a shy smile, blushing a little at how he'd held her hips, "Thank you." She managed out before making her way over to Claudia and Aveline seeing as she knew them the best. She thought over leaving so abruptly like that. Perhaps he wanted to get to know the other students here too - after all, most people here didn't know one another. She found herself feeling odd and liking how touchy some of the other students were - the way Kassandra had grabbed her hand, the way Arno had grabbed her sides, etcetera. She never got much affection from her parents and never had any friends to give her any either. She quite liked the contact. It was comforting.

What unnerved her though, was the realisation that she was so touch-starved that she was enjoying this from people that she hardly knew. It was quite a shocking sudden realisation, really; something that she didn't want to admit to so she pushed the thought away. She would be getting to know them all soon enough anyway, right? Well, aside from Cesare and Lucrezia. She didn't plan on associating herself with those two.

She hadn't even been here for a whole day and she was already finding out things about herself that she had failed to notice in the past. It only made her lap up all these new changes even more, finally free of that old routine which she was constantly restrained by back at her home.

(Y/n) watched as a blonde male student went running for the lake, followed by an olive-skinned boy who resembled Kassandra a lot.

"Oh, I think they're going to jump in." She pointed out as she gestured her hand towards the two students that were sprinting across the sports field and making a beeline for the lake.

"Of course he is." The Greek girl sighed, a smile on her lips as she watched one of the two boys in particular. "The taller one's my little brother, Alexios; but, a lot of his friends call him Deimos." She paused for a while, her smile lingering as she witnessed her brother and the blonde student strip off as many layers as they could (while staying decent) before plunging off the small pier and into the cold water, "I never liked his friends back home, they were terrible for him. If he's mean to you: don't take it to heart." She rested a hand on (Y/n)'s shoulder to express her sincerity, "Those friends of his made him an asshole but I'm hoping that he will change now that he's not around them anymore. Mater hopes so too."

"Are you here for a change too?" The ebony-haired female prompted, wanting to get her own story across int he process.

"Because I tried to defend him from his friends, I ended up making a lot of enemies back at home." Shrugged, "I've always been one to punch first and ask questions later." (Y/n)'s eyes roved over Kassandra's arms to see how muscular she was. She definitely seemed like she would win a fight. "I suppose I'm looking to try and change myself in that aspect - learn to negotiate. But I know it won't happen overnight." She laughed at herself.

"I mostly accepted the application here because I wanted a change and I don't really have anyone at home." (Y/n) expressed, "I'd wake up and go to my school where I never had any friends, study all break and lunch, go home to paint or read for half an hour, study until dinner then get in the shower and go to sleep." She explained, "I was always home alone a lot because my parents work all the time. I've never been close to them. . . They didn't even drop me off at the airport. . . The family driver was the only one with me. . ." She spoke nonchalantly but Kassandra looked liked like she was on the verge of heartbreak.

For the Greek girl, her family was one of the most important things in her life, her source of happiness. It made her sad to know that her classmate didn't have anyone at all in the world.

"Well, you have friends now." She beamed, throwing an arm around her shoulder, "A lot of people here seem to like you already." Her gaze went back to her brother and the other student who were still swimming in the cold water and her lips tugged into a frown, "He's going to get sick if he stays in there too long. . . I should go get him." And with that, she left and (Y/n) made her way over to Claudia who was standing under a large greenhouse which was on the roof, gesticulating a lot with her hands while Aveline, the boy in blue from earlier, and the other guy were all paying attention to her.

". . . Just imagine it!" She spoke expressively, "Some lights, some chairs, pillows and blankets! If we clean up the glass and the floor and maybe add a few little flowerpots and trinkets on the shelves! This could be an awesome hangout! And, judging by the doors on the way up here, no one comes up here, so we can keep it as a thing between people we like."

"That's quite a cool idea, actually," Aveline spoke from where she was standing inside the rather large greenhouse, a frown tugged at her full lips, "But it would be nicer with some music."

"I bought my guitar with me." The boy that (Y/n) had yet to meet raised his hand in contribution. He had an Italian accent which made (Y/n)'s eyes flicker between him and Claudia, making note of their similarities. She concluded that this was Ezio, Claudia's brother. He, like Arno, suited long brown hair which was tied back - but he had shorter parts that fell loose and framed his angular face neatly. He wore a white hoodie with dark red joggers and white trainers. She wondered why he was dressed so casually until she realised that he and his sister must have had to wake up early to catch the plane and he would have wanted to be comfortable for the journey.

"I'm going to miss my music - I really hate this 'no phones' rule." The one who (Y/n) had briefly spoken to earlier piped up, "I mean, in a controlled environment like a boarding school, they're not exactly going to get in the way of us learning." He shrugged as he leaned against the glass, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Good point." (Y/n) agreed. Ezio turned his eyes to her, not having noticed her before. The Italian raised one of his brows in amusement, a flirtatious and teasing smile tugging at his scarred lips.

"You're quiet." He pointed out.

"Oh, leave her alone, stronzo. She's not one of your easy girls back home and I don't want you sleeping with my friends." Claudia snapped at her older brother, placing her hands on her hips to try and show her authority. Her older brother smiled at this while (Y/n)'s (e/c) eyes widened.

"Whoa, that escalated quickly." She held up her hands, shocked at how the conversation had gone from him teasing her about being quiet to Claudia telling him to not try it on with her.

"Oh, believe me, it would have escalated either way." The female Auditore rolled her chestnut eyes, "I'm sure that as soon as he said that, he would have mentioned something about getting you to moan loudly." She shot an accusing gaze at her brother who tossed his head around, considering his answer with a playful smile.

"Guilty." He confessed, his eyes going back to (Y/n) who felt quite singled out. The other boy clicked his tongue.

"Talking dirty to a girl as soon as you meet her isn't going to get her in your bed." He corrected.

"It isn't?" Ezio shot back, "Oh please, master seducer Arno, share your knowledgable ways with me?"

"Alright, we're leaving." Aveline rolled her eyes, amusement playing on her lips as Claudia followed her and she took (Y/n) by the arm to lead her away as well, "We don't want any part of your guy talk."

"Is your brother always like that?" (Y/n) asked Claudia.

"Yes." Was her blunt reply, "But don't misinterpret him; he respects women a lot even though he sleeps with all the pretty ones he sees. When my ex cheated on me, he broke his nose and when his ex got a new boyfriend, he made sure that he'd be good to her with a heavy threat."

"That's. . . violent but also incredibly sweet?" (Y/n) laughed while she glanced over her shoulder to where Arno and Ezio were having an in-depth discussion about the best way to seduce a woman. She rolled her eyes before following Aveline back downstairs, hoping that she wasn't still the topic of their conversation.

She decided that she wanted to explore the school building.

#assassins creed #assassins creed au #assassins creed modern au #x reader #assassins creed x reader #ezio auditore #kassandra #arno dorian #alexios #highschool au #modern au #the elites

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caffineaddictedmoron · 4 years

Text

The Ending We Deserve Pt.2

So many things happened at once.

Marinette ran toward Hawkmoth.

Hawkmoth drew his weapon.

Chat took the opening Marinette provided him, and launched himself at Hawkmoth.

Hawkmoth easily sidestepped Marinette’s attack and slashed his sword, but not at Marinette.

No, he completely ignored Marinette and anticipated the attack from behind, dealing Chat Noir a deep cut that went from his left shoulder to his stomach.

“NO!” Marinette screamed, running back toward her fallen partner. She dropped to her knees, assessing the damage. The cut was deep, way too deep for him to survive unless he got immediate medical attention or the miraculous ladybugs cured him. And one of those options wouldn’t work because Tikki was too weak, and the other wouldn’t work because she was too weak to carry him, AND Hawkmoth would strike her down before she made it two steps.

But none of that stopped her from pressing her hands to the wound, trying to slow the bleeding.

Chat was sputtering and gasping for air. “No, no, no.” His eyes were fluttering, open and shut, like he was struggling to stay awake. “Chat, you have to stay with me! Please don’t leave.”

Chat weakly moved his hand and placed it over Marinette’s. “Take him out, Mari.” he whispered as he took in a deep shuddering breath, “Do whatever needs to be done.”

“No, Chat.” Tears were running down her face in rivers. “I’m not doing this without you.”

“You have to, Milady.” He looked into her eyes. “I believe in you.” He pressed a chaste kiss to the back of her hand. Chat placed his hand on her cheek and met her eyes. “Do whatever needs to be done,” he repeated, before taking another deep breath. “I’m sorry, Marinette.” Another breath.

He took a long, sorrowful look at his ring, hoping that his lady caught on to what he was thinking. “Plagg, claws out.”

“NO!” Marinette screamed. She knew without the magic of the miraculous that his wounds would be fatal. Plagg was the only thing that was keeping him alive, and he gave him up. She squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to her. “Why? Why would you do that?”

He gave her a small smile. “You’re Ladybug. Figure it out.” He closed his eyes and whispered one last time. “I believe in you.”

“Chat?” She shook his shoulders.

No response.

“Adrien!” She shook him again, “C’mon! You have to help me! I can’t do this without you I can’t. I can’t.” She sobbed on his still chest.

She turned towards Hawkmoth, tears running down her face. “You monster!” She sneered, “How could you do this to your own son? He loved you! No matter what crap you put him through, he loved you! Even when you forbid him from going out with friends or when you would schedule photoshoots everyday, he would still try to be his best. And he did it for you! God knows he could’ve slacked off and quit, but he tried his best to make sure you were proud of him. And this-” she gestured at Adrien, “is how you repay him. He was nothing but an amazing son for you and you ki-” she choked on the word. “You killed him.”

She looked at Adrien’s limp body, at their intertwined hands. She thought of the time they wouldn’t have with each other. The days that are lost. She could imagine it now, the life she would have with him.

Adrien would ask her to be his girlfriend and those would be the happiest years of her life. They would both go to the same college in Paris, she would pursue her career in fashion and he would work to get a teaching degree, all while still fighting crime as Ladybug and Chat Noir. Right after graduation, he would drop on one knee and propose. While planning their wedding, Mari accepted an internship for the Elite Model Management Co. designing clothes, while Adrien applied to teach 3rd grade at the local elementary school. The happy couple would decide to get married in August. It would be the most perfect day, when she walked down the aisle, Adrien burst into tears. He was blubbering so much he could barely say his vows. The newlyweds decided they could go on a honeymoon because they knew their team could handle them being gone for a few days. They went to New York and saw the skyscrapers, Broadway shows, and baseball games. (Apparently, the Americans really loved baseball.) Soon after their honeymoon, they would adopt a hamster. They would live just a few blocks from her parents, so when they eventually had kids (3 adorable children: Emma, Louis, and Hugo.) her parents could come visit them whenever and vise versa. They would be a family. They would be happy.

And now, that won’t happen.

Hawkmoth had destroyed every possibility for that to happen.

Marinette looked back down at the boy who she loved, at her hand which was still grasping his, even though he no longer squeezed back. His ring had a glare shining off of it. She closed her eyes unable to look at it from the light and the memories that surrounded it.

Wait.

Her eyes flung open.

His ring would still work. Plagg was still somewhere around here. A plan started formulating in her head. She looked back down at her kitty. I hope you knew what you were doing, she thought.

She slid the ring off of Adrien’s hand and onto her own slim finger as she stood. “I am going to make you pay for what you did to him,” She growled. “I will tear down your empire, brick by brick. I will destroy everything you have ever stood for.” Hawkmoth backed up slowly, showing the slightest sign of fear in his eyes.

“Plagg,” Marinette whispered, “Claws out!”

The transformation overtook her as she charged toward Hawkmoth. She stumbled at first, but the magic of the miraculous helped contain the pain in her leg. Lord knows she would need all the extra strength available to defeat this villian.

It was a strenuous fight. Whenever Ladynoir would land a punch, Hawkmoth would land two. For every strike she would dodge, he would pull a sneakier move. While she would land a good hit every once and awhile, she knew she would not win this fight hand-to-hand. Even with the suit dulling her injuries, Marinette’s energy was fading fast.

Soon, she found herself backed up against the Eiffel Tower, in a similar position Chat was in not even thirty minutes ago. She was running out of ideas. She was running out of hope. But most importantly, she was running out of time.

“Well, well, well,” Hawkmoth gave her the cliche slow-villain-clap. “How the tables have turned, huh? Today is the day that I will finally have my victory. I will finally have my life, my family back.”

“Your family?” Ladynoir scoffed, “YOU JUST KILLED ADRIEN! You will never have your family back! The wish only allows ONE wish. You can’t bring both back.”

Hawkmoth laughed. “Ladybug, er, Ladynoir, whatever ridiculous name you want to call yourself, it doesn’t matter.” The villain tapped his cane on the ground, in a chiding manner. “Do you really think I wouldn’t have a contingency plan in place? I knew it was likely that he wouldn’t make it out of this duel alive. Why do you think I haven’t taken your kwami from her hiding spot? Shut your mouth and don’t look so shocked. I spotted her while you were busy mourning over my son.” He clicked his tongue. “Not to worry though. He will be alright soon enough. Once you use the Miraculous Ladybug’s he will be healed. But I want you to be the one who gets the kwami. I just feel like then your surrender would be complete. Then, after you heal my son, you will of course hand your miraculous over to me.” He slammed a hand into the Eiffel Tower, just to the left of Marinette’s head. “I will finally get what I deserve. And after I get them back, I will reveal your identity and take your miraculous to make sure you can never try to take away what I have rightfully earned. I will ruin your chances at ever making a career in fashion. I will leave horrible reviews at your family bakery. I will make it so you never have a chance with Adrien. I will make your life a living hell, just as mine has been since I lost my Emilie. You will feel my every pain and heartbreak. You will wish you never crossed me, Marinette Dupian-

Cheng.”

Marinette smiled, channelling every bit of Chat Noir she could muster. “That was quite the speech. Did you write that beforehand? Practice in the mirror a bit?” When Hawkmoth didn’t respond, she just shrugged. “Well, at least you were right about one thing.” She looked at the man who killed her partner and first love, who manipulated hundreds of citizens, who never truly cared about Adrien, right in the eye. “You will get what you deserve.”

Hawkmoth didn’t register what she meant until she already whispered the only word that could defeat him now. “Cataclysm!”

As much as she would have liked to, she didn’t go for the kill. Her hand shot straight for the butterfly brooch that was pinned to his chest. It was the only way for her to truly end the horrors he had wrought upon her city for years. When her fingertips brushed the miraculous, it immediately turned black and started to crumble.

Hawkmoth recoiled in horror. “No, no, NO! What have you done!” He tried grabbing at the ashes of the broken miraculous to no avail. His transformation let go; Gabriel Agreste sat there, hugging his knees, cursing Ladybug and everything she stood for.

“Plagg, claws in.” Marinette dropped to her knees, exhaustion hitting her like a train.

Marinette called for the police. They came quickly and arrested Gabriel, or did they? It was a blur for Marinette. She couldn’t remember how much time had passed. All she could think about was the loss of her partner. She couldn’t just believe he was gone. She wouldn’t accept it. An idea hit her like a train. She already had the black cat miraculous, if she could just find Tikki and complete the merge— No. She shut down that thought before it went any further. That would make her just as bad as Hawkmoth, worse even.

But, Hawkmoth did mention something about the ladybug miraculous healing Adrien. She didn’t know if it would truly work, but it was worth a shot.

She ran to where Adrien’s body was laying placed a quick kiss on his forehead and the ring back on his finger. “I hope this works.”

And she took off to find her missing kwami.

#miraculous fanfic #adrien agreste #marinette x chat noir #marinette dupen chang #ladybug #chat noir #marichat #adrinette #fanfic #ladynoir #identity reveal

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tigsousa · 4 years

Text

INTRODUCING TIGS… @gallagherintro

⌠ CHAY SUEDE, 22, CISMALE, HE/HIS ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, THIAGO “TIGS” SOUSA! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in UNDECIDED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a shittier silver chain than connell’s, eDgY shirts with missing buttons, book rolled into back pocket, flipping everyone off, rolled cigarette tucked behind ear, bruised eyes or just bags?). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 20/01/1998, they always request their COCO POPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

INSPO:

liam gallagher

BIO

grew up in a pretty rough and dangerous neighbourhood in dc, filled with Street Rats

parents: irresponsible, violent, addicts, basically only kept him for the benefits. home life was pretty miserable where he picked up most of his traits and habits.

but at one point it got so bad, his grandma reported them and took him in. they served some time in jail. he doesn’t know what they’re up to now, doesn’t care to find out either.

no one’s perfect -- his dad obvs gets it from somewhere -- but his grandma's love doesn’t make him cry.

but he was an ungrateful lil shit ! so after a big argument, he left her and ran away/taken to LANDAN with a gang of grifters he met on da streetz for some gigs and what he thought would be Big Money

street fights were a common occurrence re: snatch *mickey o’neil vc* i’ll fight ya for it … if dc is here he learned how to fight, london is where he learned to fight dirty

the gang began to pull cons on a Bigger Scale until they got caught ! he was a Big Coward and ran away … but was sent back to the u s of a with 0 money lol (was p traumatic actually! ppl got killed! it still haunts him!)

came back 2 grandma n said sry a bajillion times n they made up

gma works as a housekeeper for a big time politician fam in d.c. and would get a few smol jobs for him as a pool boy or whatever else rich ppl have

but then his gma got ill and they don’t have medical insurance or da money for treatment so he dropped outta school and continued 2 swindle, in d.c. or where the money was tbh

gd thing about d.c. is politicians and they have lots of money !!!

it felt weird to scam people by himself. he wasn’t used to working alone so he started off small: hung out in bars, targeted politicians. end up in a hotel - they paid for it. long story short he got enough ammo to blackmail them into giving him $$ or he’d sell photos/videos to journalists ... n we all know how homophobic politicians are :clown emoji:

newayz … one of the cons ended up being a trap (fffff). they knew about his lil tricks n wanted to use him so proposed a deal: they’d pay for his gma’s everything, put her in the best hosp, pay off debts, send him to a good school which would secure his future !! in return they wouldn’t hand him over 2 da popo, clear his record, but he’d work for them + blackmails their opponents to strong arm them into votes or w/e

obvs he said yes bc he luvs his gma ..

PERSONALITY

Edgy n Cockney

has a dog called amigo

eats cereal out of the box for breakfast lunch n dinna xx it’s vegan xx

talks rly slowly, super lazy, as if he’s high 25/8

had 2 grow up quick so he is Mature but wasn’t allowed/able to Process all of his Shit so acts out + has childish tendencies (shock!)

super selfish + looks out for himself First … soz it just how it be it’s nothing personal

prefers to ruin things on his own terms so he is unforch #TeamFuckThingsUp

likes breaking thangs, likes burning thangs, likes gettin into fites .. For Fun !

rly just does what he wants regardless of whether it hurts other ppl – doesn’t rly care abt right/wrong .. aloof/detached/boner 4 nihilism yada yada

maybe that’s due to him liking d.c. coke a lot … a coping mechanism<3 microdosing mostly<3

if u get over all of that lol then he has a Deep side n has a lot of thots (which will b hard for me but o well) can be caring etc.

anti govt, anti rich, fuck da system a la vincent cassel in la haine etc. etc.

surprisingly Smort, likes 2 read + retains info like a sponge, good at exams without rly trying, will happily take exams for $$

likes getting to know ppl tho not out of genuine interest but also won’t say shit about himself

everyone at gallagher is stupid smart n kinda show offy abt it … highkey grinds his gears because he rly hates rich ppl and the govt and will fight u on it

will rationalise himself being at gallagher by saying he’ll destroy the system from inside out !!! lol ye rite

prefers to sit at the back, blend into the background, do his own thing

never chases after anything so if he does be suss

big fan of documentaries - louis theroux daddy

CONNECTIONS

friends: prefers 2 b more lowkey, more of a small chill group of ~pals than big groups of dumbos re: bros chat.

ex-friends: gimme platonic heartbreak! he has a tendency 2 fucc things up on purpose and will not hesitate to burn bridges 2 hide in da smoke (deep)

flings: type to kick u out bc he sleeps better alone and won’t hit u up for at least a week … no hard feelings</3

ex-flings: no emosh capacity for a full on relationship but it could’ve ended for a lot of messy reasons !! makes me laff

exes? he doesn’t rly believe in monogamy i’m sry . probs would’ve messed ur chara around a bit :// or mb it could’ve been legit srs i o n o

fre/enemies: he just … has 0 loyalties tbh so

met ur match: someone who just runs circles around him + plays his game better than he does ! its Messy !

senator’s kids: ur chara’s parent the one who took tigs in! probs shud be a Baddie tho

i cleaned ur pool: mayhaps he was ur pool boy one (1) summer + stole some of ur shit, maybe they got along, maybe they hate each other

pot head gang: talking about conspiracy theories on da rooftop at 2am pls ty

anti-painkiller: someone who is feeling shitty so hits him up to feel even worse . this cud become soft tbh . extra Spice if she wants 2 keep it a secret

underlined the good bits: based on dis lil nugget but instead of saving mankind make it taking down the government lol or a lil discussion or legit anythinnnn :-) bonus points if they dk each other :-)

why didn’t u ask me to stick around?: *peyton sawyer vc* erry1 alwayz leaves … n so did he !

the worst best partner: they were forced 2 partner up together but they rly rile each other up but lowkey werk well together and got a smashing grade ! he doesn’t care abt grades so probs someone who is a Show Off so he gets Aggro

if any of these fit ur chara/u vibin wit em, holla + we can go from there: uno, two, three, three and a half, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten point five, and most importantly: ot3 !!!!! and another one

#gallagher:intro #joining the 'pretend he looks less angry in this gif' gang #benefit of letting this sit for months is comin up wit actual connections uwu #idk wat im doin

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wallofweird · 4 years

Note

Hi! Saw you were bored so I thought I’d stop by! What do you think the reactions of Kate,Toby, Beth, Miguel, Nicky, Rebecca, the girls and Randall are going to be? And with Rebecca’s Alzheimer’s would she need to be reminded every so often of Madison and the twins since her short term memory seems to be the most effect as we saw in the FF??

So, this is super long and I’m sorry, but I had a lot to say about all of the above, lol. By the way, thank you for the questions. :)

Their reaction regarding Madison’s pregnancy? I think they will be overall positive, Kate is the one who might be a little preoccupied at first since Kevin is her brother, Madison is her best friend and she is carrying her niblings. So she might worry a little, because if something goes wrong, it can affect four people who are part of her family. It may take a little for Kate to wrap her head around it, but I don’t believe she will condemn them for it. Kate knows how badly they wanted to have children and how they were losing faith in that happening, so even if it takes her a while to be 100% excited, she will get there and will probably help them navigate through the situation. I don’t know if Kevin and Madison will stay in LA or move to PA, but if they live in the same city, I guess she will help them deal with the pregnancy. They’re both new to this, so I can see Kate helping her with tricks to stop her morning sickness, being someone Madison can rely on and making sure Madison stays positive during all of it. I can see Madison being a little insecure about being able to go full-term with her pregnancy, and having a hard time due to her eating disorder and Kate will probably be there for her like Madison did when Kate was expecting Jack. However, I can see Kate stepping away a little bit when it comes to Madison’s relationship with Kevin, because the situation is tricky. It’s her best friend. It’s her brother. I don’t think Kate would like to talk about either of them behind their back, but if she sees something wrong in their behavior, I’m sure she will call them out personally. Like I said, it’s her family. It’s not just Kevin or Madison, it’s her niblings too. But mostly she will be quite supportive, because she knows how important this is for them. And Kate has matured so much after becoming a mother, she is the character that is on the best mental state right now, I can see her becoming someone people will run to like Kevin became this season. Specially when it comes to parenthood, because she is an amazing mom. And perhaps (hopefully) she (and maybe even Madison and Beth) will help bringing the brothers closer again. Like, the show hasn’t yet explored how Kate feels about Rebecca’s situation and her choice. Just Kevin and Randall. That might be intentional and she may serve as a mediator on season 5.

Toby: I think he might be a little annoyed at first, nothing serious, though. He will probably joke about it, but again, I can’t see him having a negative reaction since he knows how it is to dream of having a child and almost losing all hope. I can see him making a lot of jokes about Kevin’s genes, how Kevin became a father in the most movie-like way possible and being disgusted at the possibility of the babies being conceived at his house and Kevin blushing and denying it right away, lol.

Rebecca: I assume Kevin will tell his mom before she moves to St. Louis and that her memory won’t have deteriorated so much yet. I can see her being shocked (I can see all of them being shocked at first, tbh), but supportive because she knows how Kevin wants to have a family and he will be amazing at it. However, I can see her being a little bit more rational about it, since she is older and she’s more in an observant position. She will probably ask Kevin how he and Madison will work things out, like the custody of the children, specially with him having to travel around because of his job as an actor and everything. I can see Kevin being so enthusiastic about becoming a parent and not even considering stuff like that, or even trying to avoid it because the thought of being with his children only 50% of the time or less is too frustrating. I’m not saying that will happen because we know he will propose to Madison (and hopefully they will get married), but at first I believe they will agree on being co-parents, trying to get to know one another and being friends. And Rebecca will be the most sensible one (at least before she leaves town).

Miguel: Miguel might be the one who will be the most excited when he hears the news. He always takes an interest in the lives of the Pearsons even if they don’t value it enough. I remember when Kate and Rebecca were disagreeing over the IVF situation, but he was being supportive. He may even help Kevin and Madison a little bit while he’s still in LA. Madison and Miguel had that moment at the hospital where he shared some wisdom with her. And one thing that is kind of frustrating on this show is how Kevin doesn’t have any friend outside of his family. Like, he had Cassidy for a while, but it looks like they don’t talk anymore. So I can see him going to Miguel for some advice about the situation, specially because Miguel got divorced from Shelly and since I believe K&M will agree on being co-parents for a certain period, he might help them with figuring this dynamic out.

Nicky: I can see Nicky saying something about Kevin complicating such a traditional human experience and becoming a father in the most unconventional and movie-like way too. Still, I believe he will be supportive and happy for Kevin. Nicky might look a little cold, but he’s a softie underneath. And he knows his nephew is a great caretaker and will be amazing with his own children. Kevin might annoy him a little bit talking non-stop about the babies and how they are already kicking and stuff and Nicky being like “I know how pregnancy works, Kevin”. I can’t remember if Nicky ended up becoming a doctor or not, but I know that was his dream job, so I can imagine Nicky needing to remind Kevin all the time that he already knows everything his nephew says about the development of the babies, because Kevin is just too excited he won’t shut up about every single little thing.

Randall, Beth and the girls: So we know that they still won’t be talking to each other on their birthday. I have no idea if one of them will try to apologize in this meantime or if they will just avoid one another for months. Kevin says they’re not speaking to each other, not just him or Randall, but both of them. I don’t know if he will keep in touch with his nieces and Beth or if all of them will have to take sides. I hope it doesn’t go that far. Kevin loves them so much and has such a special connection with Tess, I don’t want that to change because of their fight. I guess in a normal situation they would be happy, specially the girls. Randall and Beth would be a little more realistic and worried too because of the unconventional circumstances and Randall would may play a more sensible role the same I pictured Rebecca. Since they are not talking, I don’t know... Perhaps Kate will tell him and he soften up a little bit and consider apologizing to Kevin. I remember how happy and proud he was when his brother told him about wanting to have his own family. That could touch his heart a little bit. I don’t know. However, I’m sure they will solve their problems next season. I wish their birthday or the birth of the twins will bring them closer again. It would be heartbreaking to see them missing all those crucial moments of each other’s lives, specially when their mother is sick and they should be more united than ever.

Rebecca’s short term memory: So, I’ve seen Alzheimer’s by far, I’ve seen it in movies and read a little about it... I don’t really know how fast it can deteriorate and how bad it will be by the time of their birthday. We know it will be worse than it is right now because she gets lost and is driven back to the cabin by the police officers... I think she will definitely forget some stuff, maybe she will remember that Madison is his fiancée and she is pregnant, but she might forget the fact it’s twins or their gender. Or maybe Rebecca forgets that they are engaged to each other and they have to remind her. I can’t say what I specifically believe she will forget, she might forget about all of it and just know Madison is pregnant because of her belly... Considering she doesn’t remember about their fight and that happened the same day Madison revealed her pregnancy to Kevin, I believe everything is possible.

By the way, I may or may have not written some of these things on my fanfiction, lol.

#this is us #kevin pearson #kevison #kedison #kevin x madison

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pookapics · 4 years

Text

‘Way down to Hadestown’ - MobBoss!Steve Rogers x Reader - Chapter 3 - Wait for me as he builds his wall.

Masterlist - https://protectthelesbians.tumblr.com/post/189126314108/way-down-to-hadestown-masterlist-mobbosssteve

Warnings: Mafia!SteveRogers, Mobsters, Heartbreak, Cheating, Eventual romance, Sexual innuendo, Age-Gap (Reader is 21 and Steve is 30 so 9 year difference), Hints of violence.

Сволочь* - Scum/Jerk in Russian

Big Louis’ POV

The club was quiet, the drunk patrons had stumbled out of the club, leaving only those working late left. Pietro, the bartender, himself and a couple of the girls who performed and entertained the guests were some of the few left here. My guys were outside, taking a break for themselves, like dogs needing a run-about when being stuck in the house all day. The quiet was nice, the only sound being the clinking of glasses as Pietro cleaned the used glasses and gently dried them off with his white towel which he kept slung over his shoulder. The soft music played throughout the club, my foot tapping gently as I settled back. When suddenly a figure rushed through the club’s doors, the man looking around aghast

“(YN)?!” The man called out which made everyone perk up and turn to look at the man who was yelling the name of one of their ex-coworkers. News spread fast around the club, the walls were always listening even when you didn’t think they were. I recognised the boy, dressed in a cheap suit, faking it till he made it.

It was (YN)’s old boyfriend, Oscar. Everyone knew what kind of guy he was. It was obvious from the first encounter I had with the punk, he was full of big dreams. Dreams that he prioritised over his girl. His girl who’d been nothing but loving from the looks of it, loyal like a dog to its master.

But it was obvious that the feeling wasn’t exactly reciprocated.

“Hey, the big artiste! Ain't you working on your masterpiece?” I bellowed out, Oscar turned around quickly to face me, his hands clutching a piece of paper which seemed to be a poster but had something written on the back, (YN) had probably left a note for him. Guess he wanted answers. Oscar made a quick quip and asked, venom hidden in his voice, almost like a child who’d lost their favourite toy “Where is she?” He glared at me, this kid for sure had some guts to talk to me like that but I needed to shoot him down, that girl was free and didn’t need whatever was darkly lingering in this ex of hers near her anytime soon.

“Brother, what do you care? You'll find another muse somewhere~” Deeply chuckling as I watched the young man glare at me “Where is she!?” He repeated like a broken record, getting right in my face as he did so till one of my guys came back in and yanked him off with a grunt “Oi!? Hands off the boss, you street-rat!? You want us to get rid of’ him, Boss?” Holding Oscar in a tight hold, gripping onto his shirt collar. I raised my hand to stop my men “Keep a hold on em’ I wanna talk.”

Smirking, I cracked my knuckles and staring into Oscar’s eyes, as if trying to intimidate him “Why do you wanna know?” Leaning down to patronise him, as Big Louis, I need to show him who was the Boss around here. Oscar stared up at me with wide eyes as he tried to come up with something to say “Wherever she is, is where I'll go!” He struggled against the grasp of my men “Where is she?! I know she works here?!” My men kept him down as he got a bit feisty. In my head, I pondered what I was going to do with him, would I just dispose of him permanently or....

Would I have some fun?

I chose the latter “What if I said she's down below?” smirking like a cat that got the cream, watching as the kid’s face dropped, face gone pale and white “Down below?” He stuttered out and stared with wide eyes, he understood the meaning behind my words. When people around here said ‘Down Below’ they knew what it meant.

‘The Underground’, a place of rumour and myth, where only a few were welcome and where unwanted people would never return from.

I chuckled deeply and nodded and repeated “Down below.”

‘Six-feet-under-the-ground below

She called your name before she went’

I glared down at him “You’ve not been easy on your girl, young man~ She had enough of your bullshit.” I could see the rage building back up again in Oscar’s face as he tried to speak but I interrupted quickly “Couldn’t you see how brought down your girl was? Well… But I guess you weren't listening.” Oscar’s face dropped as it hit him, the reality of it all “No…” He looked defeated for a moment as he stared at the floor, for a moment I felt bad but then I remembered. This guy left his girl to the dogs in his chance to reach success, in this place you needed to stick together. Even the girls in the club stuck together, I’d seen the sisterhood of them all during the busiest nights. And though I kept myself up front, I did secretly take care of my staff, making sure they were safe in this dangerous part of the city. Pulling the strings behind the scenes, keeping the front of the cold type, many in this profession needed to keep a tough face, as not to let anyone see through you.

Steve Rogers was the master of that.

This young man however was easily seen through, he was as transparent as glass.

So I decided to test him, to see if he could pull his face back and not be seen right through to the other side “So… Just how far would you go for her?” Wiping my thumb and forefinger across my chin as I stared at the man before me, examining how he would react, he quickly responded, not pondering for long “To the end of time, to the end of the earth.” I held back a chuckle, empty words with an empty meaning behind them, a fool’s words. Tapping my foot repeatedly against the ground as I spoke up “Strong words, young man but how do you expect to get the underground? You got a ticket?” Questioning him more as my men and I looked down at him as he played with his hands, trying to form a plan on the spot. You needed to be quick off the mark “No...?” He spoke quietly and sheepishly as I bellowed out a laugh “Yeah, I didn't think so.”

Turning my back to the boy for a few moments, before teasingly letting out a sliver of chance for the man, playing with him “Course, there is another way, but I ain't supposed to say it…” Pretending to be torn about whether or not to let out the piece of ‘information’ I had passed from my lips as I saw the Oscar’s face light up “Another way?” Hope laced his voice somewhat as I approached Oscar “Yeah, around the back, but that ain't easy walkin', Jack, It ain't for the sensitive of soul, so… You really wanna go?” Quirking my brow at him as he nodded fervently, I smirked ‘Just what I wanted to hear’ circling Oscar as I spoke, awaiting him to speak again “With all my heart…” He spoke solemnly and stared determinedly, I questioned how I thought of the boy but memories of (YN) calling up the club in tears about him was enough, I needed to know, so I began to spin my tale “Huh, with all your heart… Well, that's a start.” I ran my hands across my suit jacket before getting face to face with Oscar “How to get to ‘The Underground’, you'll have to take the long way down.” My hand motioning downwards to gesture the descent he’d be making to ‘find his girl’

‘Through the underground, under cover of night’

I snapped my fingers, making my men drop Oscar to the floor, letting him adjust his collar and rub his neck, which was bruised from being held up by men by his shirt-collar “Laying low, staying out of sight.” I knelt down and spoke to him, he’d recomposed himself quickly for a young man “How do I find it?” He asked, making me laugh and chuckle “You think the gangs would be desperate to find the place if there was a set of directions? There ain't no compass, brother, ain't no map, just a telephone wire and the railroad track, you keep on walking and you don't look back… 'til you get to the Bottomland.” I pointed to the door, that was all the information I’d give him, motioning for him to get out, which he did. Scuttling to the door like a rat on the subway, frightened and on a mission

‘Wait for me, I'm coming

Wait, I'm coming with you

Wait for me, I'm coming too

I'm coming too…’

Pietro, who was still behind the bar, he turned to me and frowned “Uhm Sir… If this is not too much to ask but why did you tell him how to find her? I thought you set this up for her to get away from that Сволочь?*” Frowning at me, I knew he’d be defensive at the mere mention of this, knowing his sister was close to the girl “I didn’t, he’s too much of a fool to see through my lies~” Pietro was shocked but refilled my drink quietly and quickly “I just sent ‘em on a little goose-chase.” I picked up my refilled glass “And no man without a death wish would enter ‘The Underground’ even if given the correct coordinates.” Taking a swig of my drink and wiping my lips with my sleeve.

‘ The river Styx is high and wide’

I sighed, “The place is paradise to those who are already livin’ there but those who try to enter unwanted are given a daunting welcome… Cinder bricks and razor wire, w alls of iron and concrete.” Explaining to the wide eyed Pietro who gasped “You’ve been there haven’t you.” As I chuckled and briefly nodded, Pietro asked again “But what about the… you know?” Hesitant and fearful like a child asking about the monster hiding under the bed “Oh I’ve met them alright… Hound dogs howling 'round the gate, them dogs'll lay down and play dead, If you got the bones, if you got the bread, but if all you got is your own two legs...You best be glad you got 'em.” Pretending to snarl deeply which made Pietro shiver, he’d heard rumours and chit-chat of the ‘Hound dogs of the Underground’ around the club, and it wasn’t good chit-chat at that.

‘Wait for me, I'm coming

Wait, I'm coming with you

Wait for me, I'm coming too

I'm coming too…’

Placing my glass down “I’m an old man, I’ve seen the neighbourhood grow darker and darker as time goes on. I’ve ran, I’ve fought and scratched my way up to where I am now.” Glancing to Pietro who hung off every word that left my lips “You're on the lam, you're on the run, don't give your name, you don't have one and don't look no one in the eye…” I pointed my finger to Pietro before pointing to the club as I continued, Pietro watched and as did the girls from round back, listening in “Listen to me, this town will try to suck you dry, they'll suck your brain, they'll suck your breath… They'll pluck the heart right out your chest.” Pulling my hand to my chest where my own heart was beating quickly as I reflected on the bloodshed that lingered on the streets of this neigbourhood.

‘They'll truss you up in your Sunday best

And stuff your mouth with cotton’

Pietro let out a faint smile as he cleaned a glass “There is a heart in there after all.” He teased and put the glass away in the cabinet, ready for tomorrow as I chuckled “There once was, I guess this is just the remains of what once was there.” Finishing my drink which Pietro had made “Couldn’t let a sweet thang get swept into that darkness, at least she has a chance with Rogers. A chance to get away or at least hide from it easier.” Pietro nodded “Good for her…” he took off his apron as it was officially time to close up “Yeah… Good for her.”

‘Wait for me, I'm coming

Wait, I'm coming with you

Wait for me, I'm coming too

I'm coming!

Wait

Wait…’

Your POV

Steve brought you to the warehouse, this was the front of the Underground, you figured. It wasn’t finished and seemed to be expanding, ever-growing. Hoards of people were working at different tables, some holding down blueprints while others were sorting through crates in the corner

‘Why do we build the wall?

My children, my children

Why do we build the wall?’

‘Was this the paradise everyone spoke of?’ You thought as you stared around, Steve continuing to guide you through the place as the workers glanced in your direction in interest, trying to sniff you out. Keeping your head down as not to draw attention to yourself as you entered a new room. It was much smaller and more decorated, decorated with care. Inside there were 3 figures sitting at the table, bickering over something.

Two men and a woman, that flipped a switch in your head. You’d heard around the club about the infamous ‘Hound-dogs of the Underground’. They were spoken in quiet whispers, as if, if you even dared speak their name too loud they’d be summoned and will tear you apart like the newspapers explained in their sensationalist articles. The Hound-Dogs were also called another name…

“Cerberus.” You spoke aloud by mistake, eyes wide in fear like a deer waiting to be attacked by the wolves, the wolves you feared that were worse than the pride of lions you’d left behind. The small group turned their heads to focus their attention on you “That’s a new one.” The red-headed woman smirked, she looked as if she’d eat you if you looked at her the wrong way, she sauntered over “This must be the sweet thing the Boss won’t stop talking about huh?” Her heels clicking against the floorboards, you gulped, slightly intimidated by her presence which was overwhelming at best “Nat~ Stop teasing, play nice with the new girl. Sorry ‘bout her doll she can be… a bit much.” The man who spoke was tall and had long dark hair which hung around his face but there was something you couldn’t ignore about him.

The singular black leather glove he wore on his left hand.

A curious thing it was but you wouldn’t ask to many questions, not wanting to find out if there were consequences to your action “Uhm its okay.” You squeaked as you looked at the woman named Nat and the man with the leather glove. Nat shoved the man jokingly “I wasn’t trying to scare her James, I was going to play nice~” winking at you, you didn’t know what game she was playing but you guess over time you’d figure it out. The last man walked over “Enough bickering you two, jeez its like an old married couple.” He rolled his eyes “I’m Sam Wilson, I’ll be polite and introduce myself unlike those two.” he joked which made you faintly giggle. Steve who was still stood beside you, hid a smile as you giggled. The other two turned to face you fully “Wow Wilson, that hurt my feelings~” Nat pouted and then looked at you “I’m Natasha, Natasha Romanoff, I keep these two in line most of the time and unlike these two I’ll actually do my job right and keep you safe.” She smiled faintly, that gave you some relief, she wasn’t as scary as she looked, but you wouldn’t underestimate her.

Next came the man Nat referred to as James who held his non-glove covered hand out for you to shake which you did “I’m James Buchanan Barnes, but most just call me Bucky.” you nodded and smiled as Sam spoke up again “And your name would be?” he laughed as he saw your cheeks go pink as you realised you hadn’t introduced yourself “U-Uhm I’m (YN) (LN).” You pulled back from shaking Bucky’s hand as the group nodded “A pretty name to match a pretty fa- OUCH!” Sam started to flirt but broke down into a pained expression as Nat’s heel was stamped into his foot, you hadn’t caught what happened or why? Bucky snickered and watched as Sam glared at Nat, the same way Steve had been glaring at Sam moments before, secretly.

Steve spoke up “Sam, can you accompany me to sort out transport to the main house?” He asked, staring at Sam who just nodded and agreed. Steve turned his head to you and placed his hand upon your shoulder for a moment “I will be only a moment.” his hand left your shoulder as he walked away, the warmth he emitted left you when he did, leaving you cold as he walked out of the room, leaving you with Natasha and Bucky. The room was quiet, your eyes turned to the one window in the room as you stared out to the construction “I-If I may ask�� Why are you building all this? Its like you’re building a… well a-”

“A wall?” Natasha interrupted your stuttering, you nodded “Yes. A wall.” you stared out at the ever-expanding warehouse which was now starting to resemble a fortress. Natasha sighed “ The wall keeps out the enemy and I guess we build a wall to keep us free.” You frowned, a wall to keep you free? That statement to you was juxtaposed, walls were to keep you contained and withheld, how could it keep you free? “The enemy?” you managed to speak out, eyes watching Natasha, who was staring out to the construction as well now.

‘Who do we call the enemy?

My children, my children

Who do we call the enemy?’

Natasha sighed and rested her back against the wall, still staring outside, but still alert and on-guard “We have a lot of enemies laying out there, beyond the Underground, different gangs we’ve had some… nasty interactions with if you understand what I’m saying.” Her eyebrow raised until I nodded “I understand.” looking away from Natasha and the window to look around the room

‘Who do we call the enemy?

The enemy is poverty

And the wall keeps out the enemy

And we build the wall to keep us free

That's why we build the wall

We build the wall to keep us free’

Staring at the door, you waited for Steve to come back as you thought back to the crates that were in the main part of the warehouse, you thought back to it and wondered what was in them, curiosity getting the better of you. Bucky brought you back from your thoughts “Something making you think, doll?” You looked at him “Well. Uhm. I don’t want to ask too many questions. I don’t want to bother you.” Holding up your hands in defense as you looked at him. Bucky chuckled “What? You think if you ask too many questions we’ll chop your hand off or somethin?” He joked, making Natasha laugh as well, pink tinging your cheeks as he kept talking “You’re here now and well its best if you know how ‘this’ operates an’ all.” Gesturing to the warehouse, to which you nodded “So. Ask them questions is basically what James here means.” Natasha put it bluntly, cutting to the chase, something you think is a primary quality of hers. Just a hunch.

Breathing out, you asked your first question “What do you sell out? Most gangs have their specialties if I’m not correct.” It was common knowledge that most gangs had a specific poison they dipped their finger into.

Drugs, Alcohol and Casinos.

And you wondered which specialty the Avengers Mob fell into.

‘What do we have that they should want?

My children, my children

What do we have that they should want?’

Natasha laughed “Well… We mostly like to keep our hands clean so drugs are off the table. We specialise in liquor, even though that dratted law* is being repealed, we still have to smuggle it in, meaning big business, cause we have and they have not…” She paused before continuing “And now, we’re The biggest suppliers in the city.” Natasha spoke with pride, you could tell she’d been in this business for a while and was reveling in the success of it all.

‘What do we have that they should want?

We have a wall to work upon!

We have work and they have none

And our work is never done

My children, my children’

You smiled “Well. The repeal is nearly complete, we’re winning. The club I work. Well worked at, though its still hidden away, we’re still getting some success. And I can see that success is here too.” Nat simply nodded and glanced to you “Well. Even though the battle so far is in our favour... we can’t forget that the war is never won.” Her prideful tone dampened which made your heart sink to your stomach “I-I guess.” was all you could say in response to her. And with those words, Steve with Sam alongside him walked back into the room. Pulling yourself away from the window when you saw them enter, Natasha did the same as Steve spoke “Our Driver’s back from his break, he’s ready to take us to the Big House.” Bucky, who’d been quiet for some time nodded “Well, let's get there. I think the new girl needs to get settled in her new living quarters, eh Steve?” Steve nodded “Indeed. Lets go.” Steve was short with his words, walking out with Sam in tow, Bucky followed after the two.

Natasha sighed “Come on, let's catch up. Don’t want them leaving without us.” Her shoes clicking against the wood as she walked out, you followed after her like a lost puppy, sticking close to her as she was slowly growing into someone you could somewhat trust. You hoped so, she was a formidable force of a woman, a good person to have on your side you figured.

‘The enemy is poverty

And the wall keeps out the enemy

And we build the wall to keep us free

That’s why we build the wall

We build the wall to keep us free

We build the wall to keep us free...’

The group was herded into the limousine you’d arrived in, the driver from before who’d obviously been on his break was finishing his cigarette and stubbed it out on the group and crushed it beneath his heel quickly. Steve took your hand and helped you inside, he guided you to sit beside him, which you did. Natasha, Sam and Bucky sat on the other set of seats which were in the back of the limousine, sat back comfortably on the sleek, leather seats.

The limousine drove off, leaving the warehouse behind and heading into an area between the trees, easily hidden behind the warehouse, no wonder they were building the warehouse like a wall. The road was smooth as they drove along it, your hands remained in your lap as the journey to the ‘Big House’ was quiet among all of the people huddled in the back, glancing to the window, all you could see was trees. Dead due to the winter breeze which had taken over the city, the trees barren of leaves and of any life. A hand upon your thigh broke your gaze into the trees as you turned to see Steve looking at you “The trees spring beautifully in spring, many of the trees here are cherry blossoms, my ma admired them greatly.” he whispered to you, a softness you hadn’t seen before in him, revealing something so personal.

A crack in the mob boss persona, you suppose.

You smiled “That sounds beautiful.” whispering back to him as you stared back at the barren trees, imagining them beautifully in bloom in the spring-time with this horrid winter long behind them. As soon as that beautiful thought was imagined in your mind, the limousine stopped, they had arrived. Blinking, your eyes drifted to see the place they’d driven to, those same eyes widened in shock.

The ‘Big House’ was large indeed, a large stately home, rooms to spare probably if you guessed just by looking at the outside, biting your lip out of nerves as the Driver got out of the front to open the door for everyone, letting Steve and yourself out first with Natasha, Bucky and Sam tagging behind, Steve was of course let out first because of his title, who he was. Steve walked up to the large house, his arm extended to you, you took his arm as he pushed open the doors. Biting back a gasp as you looked around at the wondrous home, walls decorated in paintings, expensive paintings. The floor’s wooden and shined to perfection, no imperfection lay in the crevices in any pane of wood, the spiral staircase is what grabbed your attention the most. The stairs were shining opalescent, a dark burgundy carpet lined the middle as it trailed down each step till it reached the bottom.

Eyes wide in wonder, your head turned to take in the sight of it all, you’d never seen such luxury before in your life. It felt like something out of a fairy-tale you’d been told as a child by your grandparents, something that you couldn’t believe was real. Steve coughed as if to bring attention “Driver, bring her bags to the decided living quarters, Natasha will show you upstairs.” The driver carried the bags inside, though being a bell-boy wasn’t in his job description, he wouldn’t speak back to Steve Rogers so did what he was told. He turned to you, who was still admiring the beauty of the home

‘Then Steve told (YN)...’

Steve’s hand gently graced your waist, snapping you out of your daze and turning to focus on him as he spoke lowly “There are papers to be signed … Step into my office.” He led her away from the main entrance and towards a room on the far left. The room resembled a library, books lining the walls and soft furnished seats surrounding the old, dark oak desk which had its back to the large windows, giving the person who sat at that desk the perfect view of the warehouse and the surrounding area. Steve let you wander in first “Take a seat.” following orders you took a seat facing the desk, knowing Steve would sit behind it most likely.

‘And he closed the door behind’

Your ears perked up at the sound of the door softly clicking shut, you turned your head for a moment to watch Steve walking over to the desk, he smoothed out his suit jacket and trousers as he took his seat behind the desk, stretching out his arms “Now… I had Bruce write up a basic contract, just some things you need to be aware of and a job has been sorted for you, if you like the sound of it.” He had his business voice on, the same voice which answered the phone when you decided to take his offer “Yes, I understand.” you answered, interested in this job proposal he had. Steve chuckled “That’s good to hear.” he brought out the paperwork and put it on the desk, pulling a pen from his jacket pocket and extending it out to you.

This felt somewhat like a deal with the devil, being lured to his side and making a deal in return for your soul, unaware of the catch. But you didn’t have to be lured in anymore, he’d captured you in his lure hours before this moment. You took the pen from him and uncapped the fountain pen, you watched as Steve flicked through the pages of the contract, licking his thumb and forefinger before he did so, your cheeks tingling slightly “Firstly, we must discuss loyalty. To be sure that you will never share information concerning our dealings here or our location with anyone who could… disturb what we’re doing here. Understand, Songbird?”

‘Now a lot can happen behind closed doors’

You could only nod, not knowing what to say in response, but Steve needed more than that “I know this is a lot but I need your word.” His eyes flickered to a softer expression when he spoke this time, a kinder version came forth as Steve talked with you. Looking him in the eyes, you found your voice again “You have my loyalty and you have my word, Sir.” Steve froze for a moment but nodded “Good…” and as he flicked to the next page he spoke “and please call me Steve when we’re in private.” he smirked faintly which made your heart pound.

‘That's for sure, brother, that's a fact

Steve chuckled as he continued and flicked through the contract more “Now for your job proposal. Have you by any chance heard of JARVIS’ ?” He asked, to which you quickly nodded “Its one of the most exclusive speakeasy clubs in the city Si- Steve.” You corrected yourself quickly “Indeed. And I happen to co-own it with Anthony Stark.” he tapped his fingers against the desk “Tony Stark? The billionaire?” You tilted your head, making Steve nod and chuckle “Yes, I’ve been working closely with him for some time, I knew his father.” to which you briefly nodded, having heard of the Stark legacy and wealth. Steve hummed “Well, the recent singer has left due to unforeseen circumstances and they need a new source of entertainment at night.”

You went pale, he was offering you a job in the most exclusive club in the city, only the top dogs got into a place like that. Not even Oscar got a gig in there, it was reserved for the real wealthy, the ones who controlled the city. A perfect place to be ran by the mob. It again was the opportunity of a lifetime, you had to take it “So you’re offering me a job as a singer?” eyes wide still and heart beating fast, you wouldn't believe it. Somebody ought to pinch you.

Steve nodded “Yes. If you want it.” He eyed you closely and awaited you to respond with a simple yes or no, watching you as he saw your mouth open “Yes, I’d love the job. Thank you Steve.” Feeling the need to thank him for all of this, to which Steve held up his hand “You’re perfect for the job, your own talent got you the job, I just managed to have a space for you.” He grinned and watched as your eyes lit up “Thank you… no one's ever really told me that I’m well… talented.” you admitted as he flicked the pages “Well people should because its the truth.”

‘But a lot can happen on the factory floo r’

Steve showed the contract “This will be your pay, is this alright?” He pointed to the figure displayed on the paperwork, your eyes widened. He couldn’t be serious!? This was more than what you could earn in a year back at Big Louis, hell even triple “Steve… that can’t be right. Its far too much.” You couldn’t accept that much from him, it was a mad amount of money. Steve stopped you “It isn’t, we’re paying for your talent and that’s how much your talent is worth to us.” He insisted and eventually you relented and agreed upon the amount, it was an impossible amount to even imagine.

‘When the Foreman turns his back ’

Steve opened on the last section of the contract “As for housing, you may stay here if that what you wish, though if not I would have to insist. This place is the safest, guarded and protected.” The sight of men patrolling outside the edges of the house could be seen out of the window which you saw over Steve’s shoulder. You nodded as Steve continued, “You would have your room and ensuite, the rest is shared amongst the rest of us who stay in this house.” You wondered how many people lived in this house, you guess you would find that out for yourself soon enough “I’ll stay here, as you said its the safest.” You looked into Steve’s eyes which were on you, the blue of his eyes looked electric amongst the deep colours which shrouded his office, he looked golden and shining, his hair still resembling a halo like it did back at Big Louis’. Steve nodded and pushed the contract towards you, it slid gently across the desk to where you sat

“Now all you have to do is sign.” His voice deep, it made your ears tingle in the best way, sounded like a deep melody which would bring you in closer with every note, you held the fountain pen in hand as you signed the bottom of the page with your name, for it to be labelled there forever

‘(YN) (LN)’

Gently you passed the contract back to Steve, who simply checked it through before putting it aside “I suppose you should be wondering where you will be sleeping.” he rose to his feet as you agreed “Lets have Natasha show you to your room, I have business to attend to.” He stood beside you as you walked towards the office door, he leaned in and whispered into your ear “But I will check in on you, Little Songbird.” That voice and those words sent a shiver down your spine, goosebumps on your arms as he opened the door and let you out. Closing the door behind you, leaving you standing in the large expanse of the house, chest tight and cheeks flushed pink.

He truly was the devil, but the devil is so tempting and enticing, its impossible to avoid his captivating spell which he’d cast upon you. A spell for some reason, you didn’t want to end anytime soon.

Wandering back to the main entrance, you followed the sound of voices till you reached a lounge where Bucky and Sam were seated, Natasha was stood behind a make-shift bar which was situated in the farside of the large lounge-area, seats were everywhere, to house a large amount of people, the house parties here must be extravagant. You sat down on a seat opposite Sam and Bucky, the two rose a brow “Did you sign the deed?” Bucky asked as you responded “Yes, Yes I did.” that was enough of an answer for him. Trying to settle your tight chest with the pounding of your heart, you sat back in the chair, trying to re-compose yourself, feeling similarly to how you were when you first met Steve back in the club.

Natasha’s voice broke the silence of the lounge “ Anybody want a drink?”

————————

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darkangeldesignstudio · 4 years

Text

Dark Horse

Ok, I know I said I wouldn't be posting this until tonight, but surprise lol. Decided it would be a good time to get sick, so I had to cancel my other plans. At least I’m not too out of commission to post this for you guys! hope you enjoy it. Next chapter will be posted soon after the Thanksgiving festivities are over.

Chapter Ten: Storm

Warnings: Angst, Violence, Death, Attempted Rape, Strong Language, Mentions of Animal Abuse, and Eventual Smut and Fluff

Setting: Post Civil War era USA. Marvel Cowboy AU.

Preface: Your home is attacked by the Hydra gang and you are rescued by Steve, Bucky, and their group. The government agency, known as Shield, wants them captured and Hydra wants them dead. With nowhere else to go, you join their ragtag group and set out on the adventure of a lifetime. Helping those less fortunate along the way, your small group grows and so does your affection for these two rough and tumble outlaws. When the chips are down, will you all be able to escape unscathed? Or will the boot drop and leave you heartbroken and alone again?

Song: Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain) by Gary Allen

Previous / Next

A few more days of traveling brings you to the outskirts of Kansas City, where the group sets up camp. Everyone is eager to have some much-needed rest, but Natasha is restless and decided to take one of the carts into town to gather supplies for the next leg of the trip. Jarvis, ever the gentleman, goes along with her.

The road will be rough going on the way to St. Louis, and you thought yourselves better to be over-prepared than under. Not to mention that you would be traveling through one of Hydra’s favored stomping grounds, so it would be best to make as few stops as possible between here and there, so you didn’t question their decision.

While bedding the horses down for the night, you recognized there was a tension in the air around the group. Natasha had been uncharacteristically quiet before leaving for town, Jarvis pulling her close as they left. Steve and Bucky were tense about their shoulders, and Tony was downright melancholy. A glance to Bruce had you peering into eyes, clouded with sadness and confusion.

Pepper approached after a moment, placing a hand on your shoulder and whispering to you in a worried tone. “Hey, Y/N? What’s up with everyone? They seem so… off.”

A sigh left your lips as you shook your head. “I’m not sure, Pep. I would expect that they are nervous about our trip through Hydra territory, but Natasha seemed to be more sad than nervous. I’ll ask one of the guys about it later. It’s probably nothing, so don’t go worrying yourself.” You gave her a small smile over your shoulder, not knowing whether your words were meant to convince her our yourself.

_______________________________________________________________________

Camp was set up and tents were pitched when Natasha returned. Jarvis and a cartload of supplies in tow. She smiled and joked with everyone as usual - teasing Bucky and Steve, sharing soft smiles with Bruce and Pepper, and utterly exasperating Tony to no end - but you could tell she was putting on a brave face.

She masked her feelings so well, but you could still see the sadness that swam in her eyes. There was a deep sense of loneliness there. One that spoke of heartbreak and loss so great that it made your chest hurt. You wanted to comfort her, but you didn’t want to overstep boundaries. Your friendship was new, a flower only beginning to bud and you were not willing to ruin that.

As you were cleaning the campsite from dinner, a cold wind blew through the camp, bringing with it the smell of rain and ozone. There was a storm brewing to the east. It was still a few days off, but it would undoubtably cause more headaches along the way.

Hunkering down into the tent you shared with Natasha and Pepper, you fell into a sleep quickly as the tension of the day weighed on your heart. You tossed and turned for a few hours until a rustling outside woke you.

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, letting them adjust to the darkness as you looked around the inside of your tent. Pepper was still asleep, a small smile curling her lips as she dreamed, but a glance to Nat’s side of the tent proved your suspicions. She was gone.

Pulling your blanket around your shoulders, you stepped through the flaps of the tent and out into the night. The air was crisp but, thankfully, much warmer than that of the mountains from before. The sounds of a crackling fire and quiet sniffling pulled your attention to where Natasha sat.

You approached slowly, trying not to startle her with your presence. The yellow firelight illuminated her red-rimmed eyes and you watched with a pained heart as she allowed a multitude of tears to flow down her cheeks.

She never turned. Never acknowledged your approach at all until you took a seat beside her. You wrapped your arm around her shoulders, pulling her into your side in a comforting gesture.

Her voice was strained from crying and her lip quivered as she gazed into your eyes. “Why am I like this, Y/N? I try to be strong, try to forget and move on, but I can’t. I loved him and he’s gone, but I just can’t let go. Why?”

Your heart twisted with pain. You knew all too well how much it hurt to lose someone you loved, but the truth was hard to face. A tear fell from your eye as you pulled her into you, hugging her tight to your chest. “I want to help you, Nat. Really, I do, but the truth is… losing someone you love dearly is one of the hardest to go through and you never truly get over it.

Life goes on. We grow, we change, but we never truly get over that loss because the day we do is the day that we have forgotten that person. But you have me. You have all of us to keep you up and give you a shoulder to cry on whenever you need it.”

Natasha’s body shook with sobs as she collapsed into your chest, fully letting go of the torrent that was her tears. You held her for a long while after she cried herself to sleep. Cradling her head in your lap, you ran your fingers through her hair in a soothing manner, hoping to keep any bad dreams at bay while she slept.

The sun was just beginning to crest the horizon as a rustling from one of the tents pulled your attention from the flames. Steve rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he approached. Reaching his arms above his head, he loosed a yawn before taking up the empty coffeepot to fill and brew the morning coffee.

You sat in silence, waiting for him to take a seat before asking the questions that plagued your mind.

Settling on the ground beside you, Steve handed you a steaming mug of coffee before pouring his own cup. “I expected her to take this part of the trip hard. Especially after what happened the last time we were here.” His voice was quiet and filled with sadness as he settled into his place beside you.

“She lost someone truly important to her. We are alike in more ways than I wished in that regard.” You sighed, staring into the deep brown liquid rippling in your cup. “Who was he?”

Steve’s sigh was heavy and his deep blue eyes were shrouded in unshed tears as the first drops of rain began to fall.. “His name was Clint Barton. He was one of the best men I have ever met and he and Natasha were madly in love.”

_______________________________________________________________________

The sky darkened as inky black clouds rolled in from the south. But rain was the least of their worries.

“We need to split up, take to the trees and run before they catch up to us.”

Steve shook his head as the first blue flash of lightning lit up the sky. “It’s not safe to split up, Clint. They will pick us off, one by one.”

Thunder rumbled in the sky, spooking the horses as they sprinted down the dirt road, racing for higher ground and a place to hide. The baying of hounds weren’t far behind.

“Clint’s right, Steve. If we stay together, it's only a matter of time before they catch up.” Tony shouted over his shoulder. “If we split up, the rain will mask our trail and we will have a better chance of escaping.”

Looking to Bucky, Steve could see the agreement in his eyes and let out a breath. “Fine, but nobody goes alone. Stay in pairs so you have someone to watch your back. We will meet up again as soon as the hounds are gone.”

Everyone nodded their agreement, splitting into groups of two and three before driving their mounts into the trees.

Natasha and Clint rode hard through the woods, sticking close to one another as they jumped fallen trees and swerved through the brush. It would have been an exhilarating ride if they weren’t being pursued.

“Just like old times, Nat.” Clint grinned over his shoulder at her, swiveling in the saddle. His bow was in his hand, quiver of arrows bouncing against his back as they sprinted through the trees together.

She gave him a stern look. “This is no time to be joking, lyubimyy.”

“Love you too, dear.” He smiled lovingly, never seeing the man that emerged from the trees.

“Clint!” Natasha screamed, pulling her gun from its holster. But there was no time. Two shots rang out as Clint’s horse reared up and squealed in pain.

The horse fell to the muddy ground, tossing Clint’s body into a tree as the man with the gun fell to his knees. Dead.

Natasha dismounted quickly, running to Clint as he wheezed in pain. His eyes were glassy and he tried to catch his breath. Clint’s horse had spared him from a bullet, but his loss was a great one.

Clint struggled to his feet with Nat’s help as the baying of hounds began again. Drawn by the sound of gunfire and blood on the wind. Clint and Natasha looked at one another as fear warred with determination. They weren’t going to make it, but they wouldn’t give up easily either.

Natasha’s mare sniffed at her mate’s fallen body as Clint climbed into the saddle. “I’m sorry old girl, but we gotta go.”

Nat’s eyes stung with tears as Clint swung her up behind him and pushed the mare into a full gallop. The hounds were gaining ground on them as thunder growled overhead.

They vaulted over trees and made a mad dash towards a stream, trying to mask their scent in the water, but Hydra was too close and the mare wouldn’t make it much farther.

Clint pulled to a halt and dismounted. Natasha was about to join him when he notched his first arrow and looked at her with sad eyes. “Don’t. You have to let me go.”

She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. “No. Please, no.”

“It’s okay.” He pulled her to him, kissing her fiercely. “I love you.”

Grasping the mare by the reins, he turned her towards the forest and slapped her on the rear with his bow. The mare screeched a shocked noise and bolted, Natasha crying and screaming in denial as Clint loosed the first arrow and a hound screamed in pain.

_______________________________________________________________________

You cried silently. Regarding the rain fall outside the covered wagon Steve had moved you to. Nat slept on, her head still cradled in your lap.

“We found her a few days later. Alone.” Steve whispered, reaching out to stroke a hand over Natasha’s red hair. “She told us what happened and then… she stopped speaking. It broke her. And no matter what we did, it just wasn’t enough.”

Steve shuddered, breaths coming in heaves as he held back his own tears. Reaching out, you took his hand in yours. “It wasn’t your fault, Steve. Hydra is the only one to blame for what happened.”

He chuckled darkly, gripping your hand tighter as he struggled with the words. “I know, but it's hard to not blame myself. She was such a bright ray of sunshine, always happy smiling and laughing. And singing… she could sing birds out of the trees if she wanted to. But, after Clint…”

“I know what you mean.” You sighed, remembering the sadness from your own loss. “I was the same way when my mother died. I was so lonely and I didn’t know how to talk about it. It’s hard, losing someone you love so much.”

“Let me guess, Bodaway changed that for you?” His smile was brighter when you laughed.

“Yeah, the little heathen was tired of my moping and took me on a ride I will never forget.” You laughed, remembering how much you screamed and yelled on Boda’s wild romp through the countryside. “He scared a few years off my life that day, but it snapped me out of my depression.”

Steve smirked down at you, his eyes sparking with laughter. “It was the same with Natasha. When we came across Krasavitsa, she became a bit obsessed with the little mare. Taming her brought some of the fire back and she smiles a lot more now.”

“She still doesn’t sing though. Does she?” You whispered, sadness swimming in your eyes at the loss of such a beautiful voice.

Steve stared out into the rain as a sad sigh escaped his lips. “No.”

_______________________________________________________________________

A few hours later, you were sitting at the back of the wagon just observing the rain fall when you heard Natasha shift.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Natasha’s voice was strained from sleep and crying prior to that. It made your heart hurt, remembering her sad face and whispered words.

“Not much. A storm rolled in after you fell asleep and Steve helped me move you to the wagon so we could stay dry.” You looked over your shoulder and saw as a bright pink flush travelled up Natasha’s pale skin.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean to-” You held up your hand, stopping her apology in its tracks.

“Don’t apologize, Nat. I am happy you felt comfortable enough to open up to me. I know I’ve only known you for a short time, but you are like a sister to me… and being there for each other is what sisters do.”

Grinning at her, you saw the happiness in her eyes as she smirked at you. “As long as I’m the big sister, we have a deal.”

You both laughed as Natasha embraced you in a hug.

Sitting in silence, together you waited as the downpour gradually slowed to a sprinkle. The birds began to sing and nature sprung to life as the sun emerged from the clouds. With a happy sigh, you stood and stretched before reaching out to Natasha.

“Let’s go wake up these lazy bums. What do you say, sis?”

She giggled, taking your hand. “I’m game. As long as I get to wake up, Tony.”

A mischievous glint danced in her eyes and it made your heart swell to see her so happy. “Deal.”

#Dark Horse #cowboy AU #Marvel AU #Marvel MCU #western au #steve x reader x bucky #reader fic #MCU #marvel fanfic

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girlinthepictureframe · 5 years

Text

The Briefest Kiss Part 17

Note: The song used in this part is ‘Get Me To The World On Time’ by The Electric Prunes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C4OjOGSzdM

All rights belong to their rightful owners.

P 17

It was almost four am by the time Miles made it to his apartment. He felt as though somebody had collected the entire world’s tiredness and decided to dump it on him. A cruel joke. He could barely keep his eyes open. The memory of his last peaceful slumber was so vague and distant that he could hardly recall it at all. The chilly, unwelcoming weather added its part. Even worse, the flight had been delayed. He’d had to wait over an hour for his suitcase and the cab driver had deliberately taken a de-tour after having spotted the expensive Louis Vuitton piece of luggage – of that Miles was sure! He dropped his damp suitcase in the corner by the sofa. His current spirits were so far below the surface that he didn’t even care if his wet leather jacket would crinkle or collect mold when he dropped it to the floor. He kicked off his shoes, stripped out of his socks and promptly hurt his foot by stepping on a – well, what the fuck had he stepped on? Leaning down to inspect, he squinted into the darkness. “Is that a…?” A pencil sharpener?

Shaking his head, too exhausted to care, he padded towards the bedroom, got rid of his pants and his shirt, and climbed into bed.

Only to discover that someone else was already occupying the space. A low and deep growl slipped from Miles’ throat. “Why are you in my bed?”

“Went home yesterday,” mumbled Alex, clinging to Miles’ pillow, not bothering to move. Or share. “Got inspired again. And sleepy. What time is it?”

“Four am.” Alex had his back turned to him and when Miles tugged on the corner of his pillow, Alex clung even harder to it, moving it entirely out of his reach.

“Too early to be awake,” noted Alex, half asleep again.

Miles couldn’t agree more. And because he was dead tired and drained, he just laid down, curled up against Alex’s back and closed his eyes.

He was still worn out when he woke up again a few hours later. And he didn’t wake up because of an alarm or a noise. Nope. Alex, who was now resting on his other side and looking at him with that lazy, relaxed look of complete contentment, kept insistently nudging his chin with his index finger. “Morning, sunshine,” he whispered, his voice raspy. “Sleep well?”

“Why are you dabbing at my chin?” Even speaking equaled running a marathon. His exhaustion had not ceased one bit.

“To wake you. You said you had an appointment today. It’s already ten. What time do you need to leave?”

“Not for a few hours,” muttered Miles and closed his eyes again. “Wanna sleep. So tired.” He felt Alex shift. He should leave. He should get up. He should tell Alex to get up and leave his bed. He should tell him that sleeping in the same bed was still inappropriate, and unwise, and an even worse idea than ever before.

But the guy smelled so bloody good! And how was Miles supposed to let go of him when he was so very snuggly? And warm. And cushiony. Besides, they had already spent a few hours in the same bed together. What difference would another hour make? So he reached out, curled his arm around Alex, and smiled when Alex snuggled into his embrace.

“You know we’re moving beyond a big, fat line right now,” Alex murmured drowsily, sounding bored.

“I know,” Miles said. He pressed his nose into the curve of Alex’s neck. The heat of his skin was too tempting to resist. “Too tired to care.”

As Miles nestled even closer, Alex drove his fingers through Miles’ hair, fisted the strands for a moment, then began to gently stroke his head. “Let’s sleep then.”

Next time Miles opened his eyes, he was half on top of Alex, who was awake and tempting fate dangerously hard by lightly running his fingers up and down Miles’ arm. It felt so insanely wonderful that he never wanted this moment to end. It was all he ever wanted. Waking up in Alex’s arms was a sensation so wondrous and spectacular that he wondered how he was supposed to give up on it again. And he had to give up on it again, of that he had no doubt. This wasn’t the start of something. It was the epitome of a staggering mistake. They kept teasing their hearts with something the both of them knew was forever out of reach. Heartbreak was looming around the corner. But the curtains were closed, and the room was dark. And for as long as reality was remaining at a tolerable distance, Miles would enjoy this dream as hard as he could. “I should really leave this bed,” he whispered with a lazy smile. “But you’re so very comfortable.”

Alex lightly tickled the spot below Miles’ earlobe as he chuckled at his words. “Not as comfortable as I used to be,” he noted, a bit of pride in his tone. “I’ve been working out a lot.”

Miles had noticed. Oh, he had noticed it very much. His teeth sank into his bottom lip as images of him biting Alex’s lip filled his head. No! He forcefully pushed the fantasy aside. That was a dangerous road to travel. And in his current state, he was in no condition to handle the danger. On the contra-ry. So he had to avoid it at any costs. A change of topic was necessary. “We should work out together again some day. I don’t even remember the last time you and I broke some sweat together.”

“We broke some serious sweat last fall,” quipped Alex.

And down that road he went. “Ah…um…” He could really use some water, thought Miles, as his mouth run dry at the memory of it. And the fact that Alex tightened his arms around him didn't help at all. “Erm…”

Alex was laughing. “Did I really render you speechless? Feels like a rather astonishing accomplishment.”

“Oh, mock me, will you! That one came out of nowhere!”

More laughter.

Miles couldn’t help but join in. Alex’s amusement was as contagious as ever. Until his eyes landed on the alarm clock. “Oh, fuck. I’ve got to leave in a bit! Damn interview.”

Alex looked at the clock as well. “Shit, I should have left already.” He began to wiggle away from Miles. “A car will pick me up at my place in a little more than an hour and I’m not even there yet. I still need to shower and grab a my stuff before I’m ready to leave for France.”

Reality creeped closer.

“Wait!” Miles’ arm darted out, curled around Alex and held him back. “Two more minutes.” When had he become so ridiculously desperate and needy?

Alex grinned and fell back onto the pillow, immediately giving in. “How about five?”

Probably around the time Alex got ridiculously desperate and needy as well, figured Miles, and popped his head up on one arm, gazing at his friend, while his other hand drew lazy figurines on Alex's shirt-clad chest. “See you next Friday, then?”

“Yep.” Alex reached out, brushed a stray hair out of Miles’ face. “Try to get some sleep between now and then. Can’t have you miss out on a good party.”

“I’m trying to sleep,” explained Miles. “Most nights, it just won’t come to me, though. Either the bed is uncomfortable, or the pillow sucks, or it’s too warm or too cold, or my head is overwrought…” He shrugged.

“Or you’re too wrought out,” suggested Alex, still touching Miles’ face. “Maybe you need a pause? A little vacation.”

“Maybe I do,” mused Miles and leaned into Alex’s touch. His eyes glanced at the clock. “One minute left.”

“What shall we do with it?”

“Use it wisely? Ideas?”

He’d meant it jokingly. Or so he thought. But then Alex leaned up and brushed his lips against Miles’. Again. And again. Then the tip of his tongue slipped out, exploring the willingness of Miles’ mouth in slow-motion. Moaning into it like the starving lover that he was, Miles dissolved into a puddle of liquified lust. But before he could even begin to return the kiss, Alex already pulled back.

His eyes were pitch black, his voice thick and strained. “Any more than that and I’ll never make it out of this bed.”

Eyes fluttering close, Miles licked his lips and smiled. “Stay. Let’s just hide in here.” He heard Alex’s soft chuckle.

“Don’t tempt me.”

The mattress shifted and when he opened his eyes, Alex was no longer there. He heard the toilet flush in the bathroom, heard the faucet, heard bare feet padding around. Then the shower started, and Miles groaned in displeasure. How could life be so bloody cruel? Only a few meters away, a very naked Alex was taking a shower. Right there, behind that wall which he now wished was made out of glass! All he would have to do was get up and walk through the door, which Alex had left invitingly ajar. And then he would be able to see him, dripping wet and covered in soap! Miles squeezed his eyes shut, leaned back and pulled the pillow firmly over his face.

“Miles Peter Kane!”

His eyes flew open. He shot upright at the sound of his full name. The bright light was glaring back at him. “Huh?”

“Fell asleep again?” Alex stood at the side of Miles’ bed, dressed and ready.

Miles swung his legs off the mattress, sat on the edge of it and looked up at Alex. “What?”

Alex took the leather jacket which he held in his right hand, unfolded it, put both arms in and shrugged it on. Then he popped the collar and licked his lips before flashing him the sexiest wink Miles had ever seen in his entire life.

Miles scoffed and shook his head. He might be tired and sleepy and barely clinging to his conscious-ness, but even in this fucked up state of mind he could tell that Alex had just done that on purpose. And he let him know. “That was fucking rude!”

Alex smirked hard. He leaned forward and placed one hand on Miles’ bare thigh, stroking it agonizingly slow from the knee upwards. The other hand he placed on the side of Miles’ jaw, thumb on his throat, and tilted his friend’s head slightly back. “You fucking bet it was.” The words came out as a gruff confession. “Don’t you dare have a dirty dream about me again when I’m near enough to hear it!”

Miles was too preoccupied by the want in Alex’s eyes to even listen properly. “Huh?”

“I could hear you moan my name all the way in the fucking bathroom!” griped Alex. “And then I come in here, only to find you fucking hard and…” Alex plunged his tongue deeply into Miles’ mouth and plundered it zealously. He pushed him backwards, let his hand find what it was aiming for and pushed the heel of his palm against Miles’ rock hard erection.

Miles arched against him, kissed him back with every last remnant of energy he’d left in him.

Until Alex jumped back and wiped his face. “Fucking plane!” He took another step back, grabbed the bag he’d come with and headed for the door. “See you next week!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” yelled Miles, pissed off and painfully unsatisfied.

But Alex had already left the apartment.

The next day

Miles was in the midst of digging through his suitcase for his swim trunks when Alex called him.

“Morning, you rotten little piece of shit,” said Miles and sat down on the foot of his Roman hotel bed. “I hope you got as little sleep as I did last night!”

Alex was laughing hard. “I got you good, didn’t I? For what’s it’s worth, it completely backfired. I admit I wanted to leave you high and dry. I hadn’t considered that it would leave me high and dry as well!”

“Serves you right,” grinned Miles. “How is France?”

“Warm and sunny. Italy?”

“Warmer and sunnier.”

“Remember, Mi. You’re supposed to get some rest until Friday. We only have one night, and I intend to make the most of it.”

Miles tsk-ed. “Are you flirting right now?”

“Trust me, when I flirt, you’ll know. You won’t have to ask. I’m just giving you a fair warning. It’ll be a big party, Zack told me. Bunch of people we haven’t seen in a while. Can’t have you nod off in the midst of it.”

“Oh, don’t you worry,” assured Miles with a sly grin, “I’ll be well-rested. Unsatisfied, but well-rested.”

“Now you’re flirting!”

“Nope. Just being honest.” Miles couldn’t stop smiling.

Something had shifted between Alex and him. He couldn’t define what, couldn’t put his finger to it. But things were different, lately. Easier, almost. Less tense. It probably helped that Miles had given up on insisting on boundaries. It was a lost battle, anyways. The pull between them was too magnetic. And where was the harm in a few occasional kisses, right? As Miles considered yesterday’s events, he felt the familiar shiver of arousal making its way across his skin. Fine, maybe they’d gone a little too far yesterday. But he wouldn’t have slept with Alex if his friend hadn’t left. Of that he was sure, thought Miles. Well…pretty sure.

No! He wouldn't have, he decided. He would have remembered their promise to remain friends and he would have honored that promise by not having sex with Alex! But their friendship was stronger, now. More honest. They were better equipped to handle bad weather. And Miles would put a stop to the kisses and the occasional flirting and deep looks and stray touches the second he came to believe that their bond was on the verge of breaking.

But until then? They were both single. And everyone needed a kiss every once in a while…

“Hey, know what we didn’t do? You wanted to play that song for me!”

“Yes,” said Alex. “I didn’t play it for you! Want me to do it now? Got time?”

“I thought you needed my guitar for that.” Miles got nervous. “Oh God, please tell me you didn’t take my guitar with you?”

“I did not,” chuckled Alex. “It’s safe back in rainy London. All alone. In that dark guest room. Poor little thing.”

“Stop it. Don’t make me feel bad!” Both were laughing.

“Alright,” conceded Alex. “Hold on, let me grab a guitar. Bloody chaotic here, I’m telling you.”

“Oh, right, she’s gone now, isn’t she? How’s living alone in that big house?”

“Weird,” admitted Alex. “She arrived almost immediately after Taylor left. And Taylor did a lot of the interior. I was barely at home last year, so I didn’t care. But now that it’s just me, I find I really don’t enjoy this house in its current form. Least of all the bedroom,” Alex mused. “Getting a new one. Spent all morning on Pinterest for ideas.”

Miles coughed in sheer shock. “You…what?”

“Didn’t I tell you? I know Pinterest now. And Instagram. My dad helped me get accounts!”

Miles loved that Alex was able to laugh at himself, as he was doing just then. “Are you following me on Instagram?”

“I am,” said Alex.

“What’s your Instagram name?”

“Won’t tell. I’m not posting anything. It’s not like that. I’m just staying on track with your life, so to speak.” Another chuckle. “Making sure I’m not missing out on anything crispy!”

“Got me a fan, didn’t I?”

“A big one,” Alex stated in earnest. “You know that. Got my guitar. Let me put you on speaker. Ready?”

“Yes,” said Miles. “Go ahead.”

And Alex began playing. Miles was surprised Alex was playing an electric. He usually played his demos on an acoustic, in a stripped and slow manner. Not this melody. There was a rich depth to the tune that Miles immediately fell in love with. And Alex was right, the Fender was made for that kind of sound!

Then he began singing the bits that Miles had written down on that notepad.

“The minute you walk in the room I break into a sweat

My hands begin to shake so bad I can't light my cigarette

Then you start walkin' towards me and my cool comes all undone

If I could get my feet to move I'd turn around and run

One kiss from you and my whole body starts to actin' strange

You shake up all my hormones, you put me through a change

This chemical reaction isn't easy to refine You drive me to distraction, you disturb my peace of mind”

More strumming. "How do you like it so far?” asked Alex anxiously. “It’s still missing a bit. I love your lyrics. You got more of ‘em but I’m lacking the melodies for it. I need something that adds a bit of momentum to it. Know what I mean?”

“I do. And I might even have something that could help you out. Hold on, I need to find something first!” Miles put his phone on speaker as well. And smirked. “Where did I put that biology book of yours…”

“The bi— you’re messing with me right now. Are you?”

“I’m not! Told you, that book contains great notes!”

“And I told you,” sighed Alex, “that the notes in there aren’t great. They are boring. I reread them all and—”

“Not words, Al. Notes. Use your head. You were reading every word that you’ve once written down but you missed the single letters.”

“The what now?”

Miles spotted the book and pulled it out of his backpack. Then he flipped to the page with the notes in question. It was the middle of a chapter about cytoplasm. It contained a diagram. And said diagram had a specific curve inside of it. Miles didn’t care for any of the actual content or the real meaning of the diagram. But more than a decade ago, when he’d sat with Al on the floor of his friend’s old bed-room, discussing random things, he’d absentmindedly flipped through the book and spotted it. He’d grabbed a pencil, had doodled around, and had drawn lines between letters and numbers without any sort of system. Yet, somehow, at the end, he’d stumbled across a melody. And then he’d promptly forgotten about it. Until the day he’d sat in Al’s room last March, waiting for him to show up. He’d been nervous and fidgety and he’d played with the frayed spine of the old biology book. Then the memory of the melody had come to him. It had inspired him. And he’d reached up, grabbed a notepad, and began scribbling down the words his heart was telling him.

Since then he carried the book with him and he'd do it until he'd find a way to use said melody.

Miles explained all of that to Alex and was waiting for his friend to say something. Finally, his shaky voice broke the quietness. “Are you trying to tell me,” spoke Alex slowly, startled, “that the song is about me?”

Miles dropped his head and wished he’d be with Alex just then. This was the kind of thing he preferred to admit face to face. “Every word.”

“You wrote a love song about me?”

“It really isn’t the first time I wrote about you. But,” admitted Miles a bit unsteadily, “this one is about you from the beginning to the end. Just you.”

“You said you’d turn around and run.”

Miles rolled his eyes. It was just like him to focus on the one part that he could twist around. “Don’t, Al. Don’t pick the lines apart and rearrange them in your head. If you wish to know, just ask what they mean, and I’ll tell you.”

Alex wasted no time. “Would you run from me if you could? Do you wish you could walk away from me? Would it make your life easier?”

“No. And that’s not what that line says. When I wrote that, I didn’t know what you felt for me. And what I felt for you…” Miles closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “That’s the kind of love that can scare somebody. It’s the kind that’s big and…sort of unique, I presume. I’ve never felt that way before and I won’t ever feel it for anybody else.” Miles swallowed hard. “There was a moment last year after you and I – if I had been able to run away from my feelings, I would have done that. Not from you, Alex. From my feelings. That would have made my life easier. But, it would have also made my life duller. Dimmer. Sadder. You and I, maybe we’re not meant to be together. As long as I get to keep you in my life as a friend, I can bear that. Somehow. But thanks to you, I know how strong and all-consuming love can be and I wouldn’t want to miss that knowledge for anything in the world. Would my life be easier without you?” He smiled a little. “No doubt. But it wouldn’t be my life. Without you, my life would be dark and boring and humorless and stale and cold and rainy and lonely. I know that, ‘cause I’ve lived my life without you. And I’ve lived my life with you. And with you, it’s everything I ever wanted.” Miles heard Alex take in a shaky breath. “You okay?” He got anxious. “Did I say some-thing wrong?” He hated being stuck on the phone.

Alex needed a moment to speak up. “Hell of thing you just said to me, you know?”

“Al…” Miles stared at the ceiling, bothered, Damn phone conversation! He wanted to see Alex in person! “You already know that I love you.”

“Not like that,” whispered Alex.

“Would you have preferred if I hadn’t said it?” asked Miles, trying to figure out where to place his next step.

“No,” exclaimed Alex immediately. “No! To know…it means more to me than you could possibly understand.”

“So those notes,” Miles began, after a heavy pause, “you want them?” Alex let out a relieved laugh and Miles happily did the same. On to lighter topics, he thought, and sat up. “I don’t have a guitar here at the moment. I’ll have to hum it for you.”

“I love it when you hum for me.”

Miles’ jaw dropped. After a brief moment of speechlessness, he grabbed the phone and held it back to his ear. “That was flir—”

“It was.”

A warmth spread all over Miles’ skin. The temperature had certainly risen in this room. First the emotional talk, and then Alex’s double entendre? Miles tried to catch his thoughts. “Um…”

“Speechless again?” He could hear the smugness in Alex’s voice. “If I were there I would help you loosen up that tongue of yours but—”

“Stop!” Miles jumped off the bed, still clutching the phone. “I have a show in two hours! I can’t have you mess with my head like that. Last night was bad enough already.”

“Yeah? How bad?”

Miles pressed his lips into a thin line. Alex was enjoying this way too much! “Wanna know?” His friend wanted dirty? Well, Miles could give him dirty! “I got here very late in the middle of last night. I was in desperate need for some rest, especially after you had me on the edge all afternoon! So got into my room, stripped naked and went right to bed. But sleep wouldn’t come to me.” His voice got lower with each word. “The feeling of your lips still lingered on mine. I could still taste your tongue. My thigh still tingled from your touch. My cock still ached for your hand. And so I slipped mine underneath the sheets—”

“You fucking win! Bloody stop!” Alex was breathless. “I was just flirting! I was…I was teasing! You are…it’s not fair!”

“Imagine how I felt!” Miles was satisfied. Well, not satisfied. He’d need Alex for that. But he was pleased with himself for rattling Alex so thoroughly.

“I’m hanging up now,” announced Alex, slightly ill-tempered. “You’ve put me in a state of…vexation.”

“I love it when you use words like that.”

Alex hung up. Miles laughed as he tossed the phone away.

Friday

Miles was early when he arrived in the South of France, where Zack had rented an enormous villa right at the edge of a private lake, surrounded by a small forest and vast wheat fields. The picturesque beauty was breathtaking, and it reminded him a lot of the time he’d spent in France with Alex a few years back while recording their first album.

As he got his bag from the trunk of the cab, another cab pulled up in the wide driveway. Miles smiled timidly at the person getting out of it. Hesitantly. “Hey.”

Matt gave a short nod, got his own bag from his cab’s trunk and as both cabs drove up, both guys ended up awkwardly waiting for somebody to speak up.

Miles made the first step. “I’m sorry for what I said.” He spotted a bench near the large entrance and motioned for it. “Can we talk?”

“I wanted to call but I knew you’d be here.” Matt took a seat next to Miles. “I heard you, okay? I won’t butt in again.”

“Forget I said that!” Miles felt horrible for how his last call with Matt had ended. “I know you meant well. It’s all my fault. I wasn’t in a good place. The last few weeks were kind of a non-stop roller coaster.”

“I get that,” said Matt, taking off his sunglasses. “I was trying to help. Calling you a pushover wasn’t the way to go, I guess.”

Miles took his sunglasses off as well and met Matt’s eyes. “That stung a bit.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I hope you know that. Man, we’ve been friends for a decade! I don’t filter my words with you. I said a bad thing and I’m sorry, too.”

“How did you mean it?” asked Miles. The sun was burning bright and he put his sunglasses back on.

“Alex was in Los Angeles. He told us about the two of you and actually admitted that he was in love with you. That was a fucking big thing for him to do. He booked his flight to London to get you, to be with you.”

Miles shook his head. “I told you what he told me—”

“That doesn’t change the fact, Miles. Did he tell you that he ran into Taylor? She told him that he ruins the lives of everyone he loves. And you know Alex. Shit like that gets to him. He’s dumb like that. So I get why he said what he said to you. The part that I don’t get is you agreeing with him.”

Wiping the building sweat from his forehead, Miles sighed. He wished Alex had told him about his run in with Taylor. It certainly explained a few things. He wanted nothing more than to tell Alex that Taylor had told him a bunch of bullshit and that he could never possibly ruin his life, except by one day deciding to walk out of it. But at the end of the day, it didn’t change that Miles considered himself not good enough to be Alex’s partner. His friend had told him that he was restless and selfish. Well, he was, too! Miles had always placed music above all else.

Except…he’d never placed it above Alex.

The thought irritated Miles. He pushed it away. And what did it matter anyway? That wasn’t the only reason that spoke against a relationship!

They would never find the time to be with each other!

Only, they’d managed to see each other almost weekly lately, despite living in different countries and touring and generally being busy.

The heat was getting to him and Miles groaned, wiping away more sweat. What was with his thoughts today? Why was he suddenly doubting his decision?

And so what? What if they had met up? What about…well…what about the restlessness? He’d felt it in every relationship!

Just never with Alex.

“God, damnit,” cursed Miles.

“You okay?” asked Matt.

Miles shook his head. “I had it all figured out! Al didn’t tell me anything I didn’t know already when he said we’d never be able to make it work! And his arguments made sense!” He leaned back, let his eyes fall shut. “He was right. WE were right to decide against it!”

Matt chuckled for a moment. “The thing about Alex is that he loves to sound smart and wise. But if you strip away his big words and his eloquent prose, what remains is – at times – a bloody coward. Take it from somebody who has observed you and Alex for a decade now: The guy is fucking nuts for you. He’s an emotional wreck, though. He gets curious, he looks, and if sees danger or pain, he pulls his head in and locks the door. You got to coax him out of his shell. You’re the only one who can. If you had told him that you disagree, that you want him, you’d be together right now!” Matt gave him a sympathetic smile. “Why won’t you do it?”

Because of that one reason that continuously beat all other reasons. “What if we fail?”

Matt got up, stretched and grumbled. “Damn heat. I need something to drink.” He looked back over his shoulder and grinned. “What if you don’t? Have you ever considered that?” He picked up his bag. “Come on. Let’s get out of this sun!”

As Miles got up, another car pulled up. Alex had arrived. Before Miles could stop himself, a smile flew to his face. He straightened up, stood taller and readjusted his sunglasses. Next to him, he could hear Matt chuckling.

“You guys are ridiculous,” remarked Matt and laughed harder. “Lovesick little puppets! Enjoy your reunion. I need water!”

Spoiler for the next part:

“Thank you, babe. Thank you.”

“For a hand job?” Alex found it endlessly amusing to be thanked for that.

#the briefest kiss #milex #milex fanfic #milex fanfiction #miles kane alex turner #fanfic #fanfiction

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belizedeservesbetter · 5 years

Text

Hadestown Has Something to Say!

And I’m so glad it does!

File Hadestown under Shows That Make You Go “Hmm.” This is a show I’ve liked more and more the longer the show has been over and the more I’ve had time to sit and think about it.

Overall, I really really loved it. It’s such a rich musical filled with amazing stage pictures and beautiful music and really powerful and passionate performances. This is a passion project on stage and it’s marvelous.

The score, of course, is amazing. Anais Mitchell has really written something very special here. I’ve really never heard anything like it before on Broadway - this mix of folk and jazz and rock with an undercurrent of sheer musical theatre. The “Chants” in particular are astounding. Likewise “When the Chips Are Down” and “Wait For Me” and “His Kiss, the Riot” are stunning achievements in musical theatre writing. However. I have one very big qualm about the score, but I’ll talk about this later.

I know we all love Rachel Chavkin but she really is quite stellar. The phrase I keep coming back to when thinking about her directing style is “all consuming.” Between this and The Great Comet, her musicals feel like being swallowed whole by which I mean everything is very big and very powerful and very emotional and very much like I’m being punched in the gut. I love this feeling. I love theatre that makes me feel like the rest of the world doesn’t exist and she does this with her work.

What Chavkin does with stage imagery is phenomenal. There is a real sense of other worldliness while still being very grounded in the one we live in. You can tell she really gets these characters and she gets these themes and literally every moment is used to drive the story and make you feel something. There’s a real sense of power in her directing that makes the audience feel every suckerpunch of this show. “Wait For Me” in particular was a showstopper.

The lighting was wonderful. Like truly stunning. The contrast between light and dark in this show was really interesting and sources of light and what that means was also very fascinating to see. From Eurydice’s candle to the handheld miner lights, everything had meaning and everything felt very poignant.

Everyone in this show is very good. There isn’t a single bad performance. Eva Noblezada was very surprisingly good - surprising only because I’d never seen her perform before and she really added a lot of good things to Eurydice.

However, this is Amber Grey’s world and we’re all just living in it. She is AMAZING. She steals every scene and every moment. She is absolutely incredible in every way. The hype about her performance is 100% real and she is honestly and truly the best part of the show. I can’t imagine anyone else playing this role because she is truly perfect. Her Persephone is so layered and so fearful and damaged and fraying at the edges and yet so strong and steadfast and determined. I want to see the show again and just focus in on her the whole time because she is amazing. Even just the way she moves and dances was electric.

And of course Patrick Page is also stellar. He brings such an intensity to every role he plays, and Hades feels like the culmination of Many Years of Intense Roles. This is also the second role where he’s been mean to Reeve Carney. But I digress. He’s fantastic. His “His Kiss, the Riot” vibrated throughout the entire theatre. His Hades is so complicated and yet very simple and the way Page carries his Hades is really really wonderful. He has this fluidity to him (that also echoes throughout the entire show and I’ll talk about this later) that feels like he was made to be in this very moment at this time.

André de Shields was another standout for how present he is during the entire show. He doesn’t leave the stage at all really during the entire show and he has this particular brand of swagger and simmer to him. I felt him there throughout the whole just contemplating the cycle of everything going on and yet when the focus wasn’t on him he didn’t steal the attention. Hermes is a very complicated role (side note but I have a theory he’s Orpheus’ dad) because he’s part narrator, part plot moving character and the only one aware of how time works in this world and is also the one telling us the story from start to finish. He has to balance the whole show on his shoulders and de Shields does it wonderfully.

My goodness those Fates. They were sinister and terrifying and felt like the true villains of the show. They’re basically inner demons personified and they infected every character in the most deliciously evil way. They were so fascinating to watch and I want to read like ten think pieces on them.

I’ve been raving about this show but there are some things I really didn’t like about it and want to address.

The first is that all the actors really play to the center orchestra, and, likewise, it’s very much directed that way. The sight lines from the sides is kind of bad, especially from the rush seats. I felt like I was staring at their backs more than I’d like to. They need to play to the whooooole audience. By the way, the rush situation for this show is Awful and they only have like five tickets total. Like that’s all. Myself and a friend got there at like 4:30am and we’re fifth and 6th in line and they had already run out of evening show tickets and we got the last of the matinee ones. About twenty people behind us had also been waiting like 5 hours and got absolutely nothing. So be warned of that!

And my biggest qualm with the show. My biggest biggest problem with the show is that Anais Mitchell ruined my absolute favorite part of the show with the Broadway transfer. All three “Epics” were my favorite songs in the show and had the most beautiful imagery in the Off-Broadway run and concept album. Here, however, they’ve been stripped of their beautiful poetry and imagery and are really basic songs. I was SO disappointed. The three songs that were my favorite parts of the show became the worst parts of the show. The new versions are honestly bad and it’s disappointing because they didn’t used to be and they don’t have to be.

It’s hard to believe that Orpheus’ song is gonna save the world because it’s the weakest song in the show. Reeve sings it beautifully but I was so disappointed and honestly hated this change.

Speaking of Reeve, he’s good! He isn’t amazing, but he’s good and I like the very different approach he’s taking with Orpheus. His Orpheus is scared and anxious and insecure but very very talented. Reeve really gets his footing in Act Two, where he shines. Not spoiling anything but the second to last scene is his best and he’s completely heartbreaking.

The show is super interesting in how it moves forward and progresses. It just kind of flows from one thing to the next and one moment to the next and it actually reminded me a lot of wind. It felt very much like the wind was blowing the story along and I know that’s a weird way to put it but that felt very much like a thing that was going on.

Also, this show has this really beautiful fluidity in the way characters walk and the way everyone, especially Hades, moves on the turntables. Honestly this is the best use of turntables I’ve ever seen in theatre. It creates the atmosphere and adds so much to the cyclical nature of things and the way it shows movement is beyond beautiful. The movement throughout this show really shined.

Hadestown has a lot to say and I’m so glad it does. I’m so glad this is a bold new musical that wants to say something and says it.

There’s so much in this show about capitalism and the dangers of power hungry capitalists and there’s so much about poverty and the lengths people will go to get simple basic needs fulfilled. There’s something really interesting in this show about work and how powerful people use it to completely dehumanize people. Likewise, there’s this very interesting struggle between art and capitalism and artists and money which was super interesting to see personified in Orpheus and Hades.

Much like Oklahoma!, I felt this show also had a strong theme of “us versus them” especially in “Why We Build the Wall.” This is such a big thing in American culture that I’ve seen displayed a lot in theatre lately and I think it’s important that it is. It’s important that we’re forced to confront things about America as a whole country that have been prevalent forever but never said aloud.

Interestingly enough, I feel like Hadestown says a lot about activism. And leadership. Orpheus is continuously presented as this musician who is going to change the world and yet Orpheus isn’t entirely capable in his actions. He has the right words but he doesn’t trust himself enough to fully believe in it - or that others believe in him - despite this song doing magical things. He also must be physically pushed by Hermes to do anything. I saw this as an interesting statement on those who can change the world relying on words over action as well as talking about self confidence and doubt and believing/not believing in yourself. I know that Damon Daunno played Orpheus as extremely cocky and self-assured and seeing Reeve Carney at the opposite end of this is very interesting. I’d like to see Orpheus played somewhere in the middle.

Going along with that, consequences and choices are a big theme in Hadestown, and I felt that most of the time Eurydice was forced to make choices in order to survive and faced horrible consequences anyway rather than the usual “dumb characters makes bad decision and suffers” or even the Louis Ironson kind of “He knows he shouldn’t do this but is going to do it anyway” kind of thing.

Oddly enough I loved the statement on climate change this show made.

I’ve found myself being drawn to art and theatre about cycles and repetitions lately, and Hadestown is exactly that to a t. I don’t know why I love theatre like this so much, maybe it’s my inherent pessimism that nothing ever changes and that we as humans inherently bold that capacity for badness in us, but I suppose it also goes along with my inherent optimism that things can change, we as humans have the capacity for change and maybe one day we actually will. The way this show ends is really really wonderful in this way.

And of course this show speaks so much about love and love and heartbreak and love and trust. Old love and new love. The parallels between Hades/Persephone and Orpheus/Eurydice are really well done. Trust is such an interesting aspect of this show and I’m glad Anais Mitchell and Rachel Chavkin never shy away from the uglier aspects of it.

Lastly, Hadestown has what I will now be calling Big SNM Energy, aka Big Sleep No More Energy. I am fully convinced that Chavkin took some inspiration from that show, or at least both Hadestown and Sleep No More take place in the same universe.

The vibe and feel of both shows is incredibly similar. Likewise, the swinging lights in “Wait For Me” are exactly like the swinging lights in Sleep No More. There were also similar themes of things happening in a cycle, things repeating but moving forward anyway, good and evil, temptation and choices/consequences. The Fates had a very similar feel to the three Sleep No More witches when they’re together. The sheer detail of it all and the location. My friend thinks Hecate is Hades’ ex, which actually narratively works for both shows.

Hadestown will absolutely be a show I revisit as much as I can because there is just so much in there. There’s so much detail and so much to think about, which all good theatre should have.

#hadestown #broadway #reeve carney #amber grey #review #voice

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drpepperwithcream · 5 years

Text

(Late) Day 5: Rose (Heartbreak(ing))

I hate writer’s block, but I’m committed to #twdgrarepairsweek! I couldn’t really write anything sad about one of them dying or them breaking up and I already did a story about Rosie dying, so I wrote something based off my post about why Marlon was sent to Ericson’s. (Read that here). Maybe one day I’ll go more in-depth about Marlon’s late friend, but for now, you get this story.

------- Marlontine -------

He hated waiting. Marlon never enjoyed it, no kid does, but waiting for the girl he loved to wake up, was straining him. Ever since AJ came back to the school with Clementine unconscious in a wheelbarrow with a missing leg, Marlon hasn’t eaten, slept, or left her bedside for a couple days now.

The few times his body gave out from exhaustion and fell asleep, he was greeted with nightmares of the accident that sent him to Ericson’s and Clementine dying. Sometimes the two would mesh into one colossal bad dream. Their voices were still fresh in his mind.

“Marlon!”

“Marlon.”

“Where were you?”

“Marlon.”

“I’m dead because of you!”

“Marlon!”

His mind came back to reality. He saw Louis standing right next to him, along with Ruby.

“You okay?” his best friend asked.

Marlon noticed the bowl of stew in his hand. He wasn’t hungry. His head turned back to Clementine. Her hand was tied to the bed… safety precaution.

“How long has AJ been asleep?” Ruby asked as she began to check on Clementine’s stub.

He didn’t even notice AJ fell asleep. “I… I don’t know… A while, I guess…”

“I’m glad someone in this room is getting sleep,” Ruby said.

“Marlon, you need to eat,” Louis said, handing the bowl out to him.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Look, I know that you’re worried, but she’ll be okay. And she’d want you to eat.”

She’d want you to do this, she’d want you to do that. That stupid saying was said to him so many times after he arrived at Ericson’s. What happened to him, why he’s there in the first place, it’s so much more than him being a kleptomaniac or a delinquent. The teachers all knew about it, at times he swore that the headmaster got a dog named Rosie to taunt him about his friend and the crash.

He remembered how he barely ate and barely slept after the crash. They said it was the concussion… but it was so much more than that. He didn’t care if his brain would have been scrambled for the rest of his life, he just wanted his friend back.

“Louis is right. You need to take care of yourself,” Ruby said after hearing nothing from him.

“Not until she’s awake.”

“Seriously, Marlon. She’s not going anywhere. Please, eat something,” Louis begged.

He shook his head.

“At least get some sleep, okay. And I mean in your own bed.”

A chill came over him. He sighed as he got up and sulked out of the room. Once he was in the hall, laughter echoed in his head. He missed it so much. The moment he made it to his room his body gave out and he flopped down on the bed. He fell asleep.

“Marlon and Rose, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“Shut up, dirtwad!”

“Yeah, dirtwad! Shut up!”

His hand was grabbed and he was pulled away from the stupid kid.

“Come on, I stole from the school library.”

“What did you steal, Roe?”

“Boxcar Children.”

It was their favorite. They liked reading with each other. Anything to keep them away from their own homes. They liked the idea of living in a boxcar and joked about running away to go live in one. They’d always adventure in the forest to hopefully find one and when they didn’t they’d read or play cops and robbers.

“You’ll never catch me!” she taunted.

He jumped from behind a tree, hand used as a gun.

“You’ll never catch me…” The voice became more… disturbed.

“Rose?”

Marlon turned around and froze at the sight in front of him: A car crash.

“I’m gone!”

The sounds of sirens and screeching tires blared in his head forced him to cover his ears.

“And so is she.”

He turned around once more and saw white walker eyes on Clementine, and she lunged at him.

Marlon shot up, the scare woke him up. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He felt something nudge his hand and saw Rosie put his hand on her head. Marlon gave her a couple scratches before getting up. He needed to go check on Clem, maybe she’s awake now.

As he neared her door, he saw AJ run out of the room not even noticing him. Marlon was worried; why would AJ run out like that… unless. He quickly looked into the room, seeing Clementine awake staring at her stub. She’s awake!

“Clem!”

She looked up at him as Marlon came in to hug her. It took a second for her to hug him back. When he pulled away, she seemed… distant and in shock. Her eyes went back to her leg. Marlon pushed down his excitement, she didn’t seem happy.

“I… I don’t know how much you remember, but AJ cut your leg off. He said you passed out soon after he did.”

She nodded. Did she remember that? She still hasn’t said anything.

“How… How do you feel?” Marlon asked.

Her hands gripped the bedsheets and Marlon saw a tear stream down her face. He pulled her to him and let her cry on his chest. He didn’t know if it was the shock of being alive or the shock of losing an important limb or both, but he let her cry.

-------

Clementine hasn’t been the same ever since she woke up. Marlon has been doing what he can for her; helping her through the painful treatments and aid, helping her get from one place to another, trying to make her smile. The last one was difficult, but with each day came acceptance for her life not being over yet and her new life with one leg gone.

After a couple weeks, she pushed herself to get out of bed and Marlon couldn’t have been more proud. It was only to the end of the hall with crutches, but it was better than her being in bed for another day. Within a few days, she ventured further and even went outside. The crutches tired her out fast, but she was getting stronger.

As for Marlon, the nightmares have started to go away once more, but if those dreams have taught him anything, it’s that he misses his friend. Marlon found a fake rose in storage, he was going to give it to Clem weeks ago when AJ first brought her back as a get-well-soon present, but he couldn’t part ways with it… Not yet…

“Still thinking of me?”

It was like a ghost who wouldn’t leave. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get away from it.

“I know you are.”

“Hey.”

Marlon turned is head to see Clementine hobble out of the admin building.

“Hey,” he said back.

Clementine came over to where he was sitting on the steps, taking her time as she was still getting used to maneuvering with crutches.

“Need help?” He asked.

“I got it.”

He watched as she sat down next to him. Marlon twirled the fake flower in his hands a couple times. He didn’t know what to say, and the teasing voice in his head wasn’t helping.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“I’m okay,” she told him. “I think it’s just adjusting to crutch one and crutch two.”

Marlon smirked. “You naming them that?”

“Maybe,” her face fell. “Marlon, I…”

He grew concerned.

“About the kiss…”

She was talking about the one in the gym that happened the same night they were attacked.

“It’s fine, Clem. I know it was kind of a heat-of-the-moment thing. We don’t have to be ‘a thing’ if-”

“Marlon,” she placed a hand on his arm. “I want to try it out; try ‘us’ out, but I want it to be just between us.”

“You mean no one else can know?”

She nodded then she proceeded to explain. “Ever since everything started I’ve seen so many people die, so many people who I care about, people I love. Then when I was thirteen, I gave up on developing relationships with people. Aside from AJ and the few friends I’ve tried so hard not to make because of it, I haven’t felt anything like this before and I don’t know how I feel about it.

He barely knows anything about her past, but he can tell by just her experience with the world outside these walls that she’s as much as a troubled youth as the rest of them.

“I like you, Marlon, I really do, but I don’t want to dive head first into it. I want to take it slow, just until I’m comfortable.”

Marlon smiled. “Of course, Clem.” She wants to test the waters. He couldn’t blame her for wanting to take things slow. Hell, it took him a while for him to become best friends with Louis after the accident.

Clementine smiled back then she glanced down at the rose in his hand.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What is it?”

“You don’t have to answer, but… when AJ brought me back, he told me that you didn’t leave my side for two days.”

“I was worried about you, we all were worried.”

“I know, but AJ told me that he heard you say some things in your sleep… Something about a rose.”

Rose. He must have muttered the name in his sleep when he dozed off a couple times waiting for her to wake up.

“The others have been saying that you were acting like when you first came to Ericson’s.”

Marlon was debating on saying something. He hasn’t told anyone this. Well, Louis knows about her, just not the full story. If he wanted to start a new relationship with a girl he loved, then she needs to know about the accident.

“Rose was my best friend before I got sent to Ericson’s. She was my first friend, actually. We both grew up in the same duplex, right next door to each other with our own set of messed families. We hung out with each other a lot, we’d read Boxcar Children and make plans to hop a train and run away together, get away from our home lives, live on the open road.”

Clem saw the smile on his face.

“We liked stealing stuff. Candy, pencils, all kinds of shit, but our favorite was cars.” Marlon focused on the flower in his hand. “Driving was fun. We’d stay out all night, driving one of our parents’ beat up car down the street, in parking lots, we’d even take turns being on the roof.”

Marlon’s smile faded, he knew what came next.

“Remember when I told you and the others about the car crash that sent me here?”

Clementine nodded.

“Shoot, the cops! Marlon, step on it!”

“I wasn’t alone,” He closed his eyes. “One night when we were out driving, the cops caught us. Actually, they didn’t catch us, they started chasing us.”

“We’re not going to get away!” he told her.

“Yes we are!” she said. “Turn here!”

“There’s another cop!”

“Keep going!”

“We tried to lose them, but everywhere we turned they still followed. We were scared of what would happen if we got caught.”

“Turn left!” The grip on his arm tightened. “Not that left your other left!”

“Where are we going? What do we do?”

“The park!”

“We were trying to get to the park. Tuck and roll and run into the woods to lose them, but…”

“Faster!”

“I’m going as fast as I can!”

“You lost control...” Clementine concluded.

“I crashed the car. I turned too fast and the car rolled… we landed upside down.”

“Marlon!”

“The last thing I remember before I passed out was seeing her and she wasn’t moving.” He sighed. “Rose died in the crash… I got her killed.”

“Marlon, I’m so sorry,” Clementine’s hand moved to his back. “That wasn’t your fault, you know. I know it feels like it was, but-”

“Clem…” Marlon interrupted. “I know what happened was an accident, but that doesn’t change the fact that my driving was what put me here and put her in the ground.”

Clementine knew the feeling all too well. Lee and everyone else, it hurt.

“You liked her? Didn’t you?”

Marlon paused then nodded. “Yeah, I think I did. I know that sounds stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. It’s kind of sweet.”

He smiled. “You would have liked her, the two of you would get along great.” He sat up straight, popping his back. “Sorry for being sappy. Just ever since you arrived in a car crash, you’ve done nothing but bring us safety, and I can’t help but feel protective over you and at times you remind me of her, which is the last thing I should be saying to the girl who is interested in dating me. But if you need time to adjust and take it slow, I think I’ll need it too.”

Clementine pulled him in for a hug, “She’d be proud of you. I know I am.”

“Thanks, Clem.”

Marlon wrapped an arm around her and he couldn’t help but smile.

“You’re right, I do like her.”

#twdgrarepairsweek #marlontine #clementine twdg #marlon twdg #twdg clementine #twdg marlon #marlentine #marlon x clementine

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agirlinhell-a · 5 years

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Running at top speed through the forest, Clementine did not look back even once as she sprinted throughout the woodlands, even as her comrades screamed for her to come back. It wasn’t fair, it just wasn’t fair-

Foolish girl. This world is unfair, don’t you see? You’re a weapon, girl, and weapons don’t weep.

She had to get away. A violent roll of thunder and a clash of lightning danced across the sky, and soon, rain fell from the heavens, as if some deity in the cosmos and beyond were weeping, too. She slowed to a stop once she reached her destination: her home. Once she entered, she bolted toward her dormitory. Once she slammed the door behind her, every little movement Clementine Maria Jasmine Cree had made instantly stopped. It was like a clock, forever ticking, until all the gears had been shattered at once, and the clock had been stopped, frozen in time for an instant forever. The girl didn’t seem to be breathing for the longest moments, her eyes staring blankly at nothing. Voices, whispers, screams, nightmares, flashbacks, incidents, the scent of blood. The way he smiled at her, giggled whenever she tickled him, the way she held him close to her at night whenever he was suffering from nightmares, the way she’d encouraged him every step of the way, like her own parents never could, the first time she held him in her arms. He was only six years old, he would never grow up to be a hero like he’d wanted, could never be taught how to play the piano by Louis, play with Tenn or laugh his most wonderful laugh, could never grow up into a man and fall in love, never have children of his own. He wasn’t a villain or a monster... he was just a boy. Everything rushed through her mind at once, like an infinite stream of memories that she couldn’t snap out of, that overloaded her systems and drowned out any reason. AJ was dead, and Clementine had nothing else to live for.

She had wanted to laugh at her friends who told her the tragic news, claim that they were lying when they’d been telling her that the poor boy had been shot, even while she held the boy in her arms... but it all made sense. Everything made sense, and her senses never failed her, and she knew reality from illusion, deep, deep down. Her son was dead, and she could do nothing to stop his death. She remembered feeling hopeless without her baby when he was taken away from her by The New Frontier, AJ was the only one who gave her hope in her most darkest hours, had given her strength, hope, the courage and a reason to live again, when she was so close to ending it all, he gave those miserable days a shred of hope... until she finally found her sweet little boy cooing at her the moment she arrived at the McCaroll Ranch, as if greeting an old friend, as if greeting his mother. It had only been them against the entire world, once. Now, there was only her... and his killer had ruined everything.

The first thing indicating that the clockwork that was Clementine was still capable of ticking, were silent tears running from the corner of her eyes. Tears without sound, loaded with more agony than one single person should ever bear. Tears that showed shards of her dreams that had just now been broken. Shards of the future that she had dreamed of, hoped for, longed for, wished for, all running down her cheeks in streams, dropping from her chin onto the floor where she would never be able to retrieve them again.

Clementine’s dreams were gone, and so was the light in her eyes.

From there, Clementine started ticking faster than she ever had before. Unable to contain the memories, the misery, the pain, she got on her feet in a movement so unlike the woman’s normal self, swift, without reason, without motivation. It was an action of fury, frustration, desperation. The girl had gotten hold of the desk in her room, violently flipping it to the side, sending papers and everything else on it flying through the room, as the desk hit the floor with a loud bang, followed by the loudest, most heartbreaking scream the girl had ever let escape her lips. Hyperventilating, the girl tried to remain on her feet, but got dizzy, almost fell over, but barely managed to sit down onto her bed, almost fainting from the pure overload of emotion. It felt like her heart was going to stop beating at any one moment.

How long do I have left?

That’s when something snapped, and Clementine froze again. It started with a breath that got pulled in so deep, demanding so much willpower, that it had seemed surreal for the girl to pull herself back from where she was. It was a gasp of air, as if she had been drowning, and only barely managed to reach the surface in time. A few deep breaths followed, Clementine kept her eyes closed and shut tightly. The tears were still streaming, but at least she wasn’t panicking anymore. Instead, she seemed hopeless, devastated, broken.

Though she had prayed for the shiny happily ever after that surely awaited the two of them at the end of the long, dark tunnel of conflict that hung over them, their brightest moments happened during the darkest times. Death’s urgency. Fear of loss. A common enemy and a shared comfort in the face of violence. They were born and raised in an era of darkness. Their darkest moments would likely happen during the brightest of times. It couldn’t last. It didn’t.

She would have done it. She would have broken every convention, and damn the consequences. Hell, she would have left the school, left everything beyond if it meant keeping AJ alive. She would have given up everything. She would have given him the love he so desperately wanted. She would have broken every fucking rule in existence, just to continue as they had been. She would have given him anything just to see him smile again. It was her whole drive all along… to see him happy… the happiness he deserved.

He saved her life so many times… and she couldn’t even owe him her end as thanks. She sat upon the cold bed, no longer with him, with a piece of glass in her hands, scraped out and hollow. She felt sick. She might not have breathed for a long time. For her entire life she’d been chasing a fleeting flicker of firelight… a little chance at hope… and what had she gotten in return? Even as she rose and fell over the years, after losing so many people close to her, nothing, no one, not even Lee, compared to the loss of her son.

And there she sat, in the dark room. The light was out. Silently, she curled in upon herself on the floor. It seemed at last that her fighting spirit was gone. It seemed as if days came and went without her moving from that one spot. What was the point in living when everyone she loved had died? At some point, there was a knock on the door. It sounded as if it were underwater. The voice might have been Ruby’s or Tenn’s. She shut it out. In time, whoever it was went away. She remembered every single moment of her life, trying desperately to forget. Everything she had ever loved was cruelly taken away from her. If she could turn back time and change everything, from the apocalypse to the meaningless deaths… by hell she would. On and on it went. The pointless thinking… She didn’t know how much time passed, but in the confines of her dark dormitory, it was eternal night.

She had been content to exist within AJ’s shadow, always watching over him and protecting him, chasing the promise of the light on the other side. All her life, she wasn’t sure if she existed more in the light or the darkness.

Bopping her head up and down as she breathed, the warm salty tears dripped onto her own hands as she tried to speak. A voice so meager, so silent, without any shred of confidence remaining, the sentence itself torn to shreds every time the woman needed to take a deep breath.

“…What am I meant… to do now? What am I even…?”

It sounded as if she was speaking more to herself than to anyone else, at least until she sank to the floor, on her knees. Her face depicted the face of someone begging for mercy, for a little light of hope to cling onto, the face of someone asking to be put out of their misery. “…Help me.”

Clem stared at her reflection in her broken mirror, in darkness. No one could see the puffiness around her eyes from crying too much. She’d entertained the idea of seeking out someone, but she had no energy to leave her room. She touched a glistening shard of glass which glowed in the moonlight diffusing through her window and clenched it tightly in her hand, despite the throbbing pain and the crimson rivers flowing down her hand and trickling down onto the floor. She soon began feeling dizzy. If anyone had entered her room, she did not even notice them.

She tightened her grip on the glass, whim whispering in her ear to crush it. Crush it, like the Delta and so many other people had tried to crush her. Like this war had crushed AJ and everyone else she had ever loved.

But it didn’t break, didn’t even crack.

“I didn’t… I didn't—” she broke off, the knot in her throat constricting her.

I didn’t get to say goodbye.

Even in death, she felt the strength of their bond… the bond that she had never once felt in her life with anyone else. The longer he was dead from the world, the fiercer she held on, clutching the glass in place of flesh. Say a quick goodbye and get over it as quickly as possible, she told herself. She took a deep breath, opened her mouth. The words wouldn’t come. The tears did. At long last, the tears broke over like a wave. She grieved for him with the power of all the pent up grief that should have been dished over the years. Her tears were as silent as the grave. They weren’t for display, alone in her dormitory within the halls of this school for troubled youth.

She wept, her tears turning to frost. It was autumn, a world of fragile things. When she’d cried herself raw, still staring into nothing, she took the breath and said the words. “Goodbye, AJ.” It was a curious sound, to have finally cracked the silence. She tested the sound. Then she felt the silence. It didn’t work quite as it had before, with her dead friends, so she tried again, a broken little thing trying to figure out the indescribable. “Goodbye, AJ. Goodbye, my little brother… Goodbye, my son…. Goodbye. Goodbye. Good-“ She stopped. It was a failed experiment.

She squeezed the piece of glass tighter. “I love you.” It was a push. In the other direction, and not toward the living. But it was movement, so she embraced it. “I love you.” She edged closer to a conclusion, “I love you.” Closer still. But there was no answer. I love you. She shut her eyes. She’d see him again soon.

Forever and ever.

And never.

Clementine squeezed the small piece of glass between her fingers, pouring her agony, her sadness, all of her into it.

Because unlike her, it could not break.

#the CALL of the DEAD ( OPEN STARTER. )#OHOHOHOOOOO PREPARE FOR THE ANGST BOIIIIIII #it's... a very long post but bear with me here!!#IM A HOE FOR LONG DETAILED POSTS #and yes this is an au (or a possible canon option) that aj dies in the last episode and clementine is obviously devastated #personals do not reblog or interact!#there's more under the cut for darker and more mature content and for overall length in general #she's also lost a LOT of blood #tw; depression #tw; blood #tw; self harm

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