#and/or 2) how do I reduce them so I'm not on this medication for the rest of my life

[atlantic-riona]

still not over the time I asked my doctor if we could look into what might be causing my migraines/headaches, since a) for most of my life I did not wake up with a migraine/headache and I maybe got them once a month or less, and b) I'd like to eventually get off the medicine I'm on, and he was like "nobody knows what causes migraines so there's really no point to trying to figure it out" and then sent me in my way

#I was so upset #and the neurologist I had told me to download an app instead of #idk #maybe doing her job and helping me figure out how to track triggers and possible causes????? #why is the burden of research on me when I am not the one who's been trained to help patients #I'm not asking for a cure I'm asking either 1) what radically shifted the pattern of headaches in the last two years #and/or 2) how do I reduce them so I'm not on this medication for the rest of my life #is it even possible #and there's no one else I can ask to be sent to since where I live there's basically one corporation in charge of everything health-related #so I'd have to travel hours away #ugh #to delete

[yurinaa-world]

Hi! Can I request Welt with anxious!reader who snaps and becomes the embodiment of " Im currently running on 2 hours of sleep, suicidal thoughts and an oreo, and Im ready to fight God or BECOME HIIIIM."

Reader goes missing on Trailblazing mission and they find them surrounded by an entire army with their leader at their feet. Turns out reader got taken and inadvertently contained the stelleron solo after defeating the "god" (whom was just the host that was driven mad by the stelleron). Now reader is giddly and hysterical from exhaustion and blood loss they have sustained from injuries.

Thank youu

Characters: Welt Yang x Gender-Neutral Reader

Synopsis: Welt fixing you up Injured after a fight

Warnings: Fluff and spelling mistakes, mentions of blood and cuts

Notes: I'm really sorry about this one I wasn't exactly happy about this one and how it came out.

𝒲𝑒𝓁𝓉 𝓎𝒶𝓃𝑔

Every sound was overwhelming, heightening the sensation of blood dripping from your wounded body. Each breath and the swift movement of your eyes added to the intense atmosphere. Reflecting on the past, everything seems like a blur, despite the stress it caused in the moment. Looking back, words fail to describe the experience you had.

You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing a little, almost like a madman, while twitching a little, trying to calm yourself down after what just happened. Your chest felt light, as if it were filled with helium, which made it difficult to breathe. You looked at your bloody hands; just looking at the ripped skin made the cuts hurt even more. The wounds were deep, red, and covered with dried blood that stained your clothes and skin, creating a dark crimson shade on your clothes.

You felt your whole body shake as you tried to take a breath through your nose to calm yourself. You couldn’t understand why you were laughing, though, because there was nothing funny about it. But you couldn't stop laughing at yourself; you've truly lost your mind, for sure.

You had been lying against the wall; Welt would have probably been coming with Medkit since you did message him a picture of your wounds in your almost drunken-like state while laughing.

"You can be calm now." Welt grabbed both your shoulders; you hadn't realized what was even happening when he called your name. "O-oh..hah..I've uhm been in my head," you murmur out, looking welt, trying to reduce your adrenaline-filled heart. Welt moved back; he had a medkit with him, yet the whole time his face was full of concern for good reason.

He first fixes the wound on your forehead. He takes one of your hands and begins to clean your cuts do not become infected by some germs. You feel the strong sting of the disinfectant but try to ignore it for now. The sound of a closed mouth whine and hiss escapes you as Welt applies disinfectant to your cut. He was being gentle with you and the situation he's in right now, which he always is, but it's comforting to be in a state like this.

You didn't know how long you were staring at him until he looked back up and smiled at you reassuringly. It was really hard to smile back since you felt so overwhelmed by everything that was happening. A wave of nausea hit you, and you felt your legs shaking once again. After cleaning your wound, he begins to unravel the gauze to start wrapping around your hands.

The process was tedious and slow, yet he did it carefully, taking his time. After that, he grabbed a piece of gauze and started covering the whole wound in gauze, putting a bandage on any small cuts, yet this was only one hand, and there were other places as well that needed medical attention.

"Welt," you murmured with a weak voice, feeling a bit dizzy. You just wanted some comfort. The man looks at you and gives you his undivided attention as he continues to bandage your injured hand. "Is something wrong?" Your eyes look at him nervously before they drop to the ground again. "I ran off." was completely not what you wanted to say, but that's what came out.

"Don't worry about that now; you're safe now."

if you liked this, consider tipping me on ko-fi! it'd mean a lot!pi

#✧*:･ﾟ✧:･ Yurinna's Writing :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ #honkai star rail #hsr x you #hsr x reader #hsr x y/n #honkai star rail x reader #welt yang x reader #yang welt x reader #welt yang #welt x reader #welt yang x you #star rail

[livrere-green]

ATLA x Omegaverse AU

Part 1 | Part 2

I've been thinking about an omegaverse atla au a lot recently, so I'm gonna vent about it cuz it's getting tiring just to have it spiralling in my head ngl

So, the only thing that I need to mention now it's that the standard age at which someone presents is around 13 to 14 years old. Knowing that, lets talk about the main characters.

Aang (12) would be unpresented by the time of the show. Also, I don't believe that being the avatar makes him an alpha perse. I mean, there's a possibility he presents as one (but he could also be a beta), and it wouldn't have anything to do with his avatar status (historically there could be a higher rate of avatars being alphas/betas, but there are some important exceptions... iykwim). Well, I think he'd present at age 13 almost 14.

Katara (14) is one of the characters that confuses me the most in this aspect, but just to add fuel to her fury and her personality, I'll make her an omega, not the kind that rejects her nature but the kind that embraces it and doesn't see it as something that makes her inferior or helpless. Katara would fight against the life society wants to impose on her in the same way she does in canon, maybe even more. She would resent the people who doesn't respect her because of her gender and at some point, she'd get frustrated about it, but she would think that hating herself would mean letting her oppressors win. About her presentation, there's two option: 1. She presented some months before they found Aang, 2. She presented during the first months they were traveling to the NWT (in this case, I think the ideal place would've been Kyoshi Island, because there's people able to take care of her there).

Sokka (15) would be an alpha, he probably presented after Hakoda left (14), he fits the type and the stereotypical personality at the beginning of the show. But I think he would get over it sooner rather than later, because the why he acts has to do more with his perception of himself and the expectations set upon his shoulders than with unshakeable beliefs about the ability of betas and omegas. He would learnt to respect and don't underestimate them quickly. Also, I think that Sokka would scent the Gaang to protect them and particularly to cover Katara's scent as they travel or run away from trouble.

Toph (12) would be unpresented by the time of the show. She'd present as an alpha some time after the end of the war (13). There's not a lot to explain here (talking about her at that age, except for the fact that even during her time with the Gaang, she probably hated Sokka's essence, just as an early hint about her gender). I consider that there's a lot to discuss about her as an adult and how she managed her relationships, but that's a discussion for another time.

Zuko (16) would be an omega, and also a late bloomer, probably presented a couple of years after his banishment (15).. Zuko would be determined to hide his true nature under any circumstances, letting only his Uncle know about it. Ozai would've been informed that his son is a beta, which was already a disappointment for the Royal Family (historically alphas), but it wasn't nearly as negative as being reduced to be treated as an omega. Zuko would end up causing himself a lot of damage in order to disguise as a beta, either by using too many suppressants or other medications, or even hurting himself. He would stop hiding after joining the Gaang but It'll be complicated, since he'd be distressed all the time and even Aang and Toph would be able to notice (their senses are not totally develop, so it'll be kinda alarming).

Suki (15) would be a beta, presented at 14. In her case, the characteristics of its gender would be especially helpful to mediate conflict or get out of it. The scent of a beta has calming effects in both alphas and omegas, so she would use it with her friends, or even in battle, to make her opponents lose focus, particularly if they are driven by rage. The fans are particularly helpful for that.

Azula (14) would present early as an alpha (12/13). At that age, one of the traits she would manifest the most is assuming the position of head of the pact with her friends, she'd probably scent them with the intention of establishing superiority and control over them. In this context, Mai would be a beta and Ty Lee an omega or a beta as well.

That's all for now, I still have some things in mind for this, but I'll share that later, and if you have questions, I'll be happy to answer!

#atla #omegaverse au #omegaverse atla #a/b/o dynamics #aang #katara #toph #sokka #zuko #suki #azula #mai #ty lee #omegaverse #avatar the last airbender #atla aang #atla azula #atla zuko #atla mai #atla katara #atla ty lee #atla toph #atla sokka #atla suki #sukka #maiko #kataang #zukka #tyzula #liv rambles

[seraphimcollections]

gentle giant | Konig x medic!reader |

chapter 5

warnings: abduction, non-consenual drugging, language.

summary: little bird is trapped in the cat's jaws with only one way out - into the belly of the beast.

w/c: 2.1

a/n: hello again! I'm really looking forward to this chapter and the next! I wanted to be a little extra care in this chapter. I'll be putting together a master list to pin to my page if that'll be easier. Oh! Do me a solid and reblog if you like this series! Final part coming soon! Thank you!

chapters: | ch. 1 | ch. 2 | ch. 3 | ch. 4 | ch. 5 |

The air had changed. With the news of your clear abduction quickly spreading across the base, the reality of both the 141 and KorTac’s failure weighed heavy on each of their shoulders. Soap’s playful demeanor was reduced to silence. Gaz didn’t know what else to do with himself besides try to keep himself busy cleaning his weapons multiple times consecutively. Price holed himself in his office, chain smoking countless of his precious cigars. No one knew where Simon was, but some say they could hear firing out in the yard at odd hours of the night. As for Kӧnig, he hadn’t slept in days. He hadn’t stepped foot out of your office. In the beginning, he couldn’t help his rage, taking it out on his surroundings -- the bookshelves, the files, anything. Quickly, the guilt settled in and he just as quickly began to try to put your office back to how he remembered it was. 

  Konig sat in his same chair, staring at the emptiness in yours’. He sat hunched over, his elbows on his knees, fingers laced together and clenched. He stared into that empty space, the rage still bubbling in his chest. Slowly, the rage began to bleed into anxiety and fear. You’ve been missing for two days. You could be anywhere, a different country, a completely other continent. Anywhere. Konig’s hands became fists in his lap. Millions of questions swirled in his head. Were you hurt? Were you even alive? Who took you, and what did they want with you? And as if the universe heard him, the bearer of answers stopped in the doorframe, not quite daring to enter, just as Konig had done many times. 

Konig’s cyan eyes caught on his stature, the 141’s loyal captain. From sight alone, Konig could see John was having as difficult a time as him, maybe even more so. In his hands held a bottle of whiskey along with two glasses in the other. 

“Mind some company?” John said gruffly. 

Konig sat up a little straighter and shook his head. John sighed, placing the glasses on the desk. He sat on the creaking wood, as if confirming they both knew that the other chair belonged only to you. Handing Konig a glass before taking his own, John took a slow sip. Konig carefully moved the glass under his hood, his lips coming to press against the lukewarm glass. 

“I’m afraid I haven’t been completely honest with you,” John finally broke the silence, “but neither have you, Colonel.” 

Konig nearly choked from hearing his formal title. John chuckled, setting his glass down. 

“I-I don’t like to mention my title, it makes people act on false intentions,” Konig explained. 

John waved dismissively, “now need to explain it to me, soldier. We all learn to play our cards close to our chests. Just in this case, I lost more than I looked to gain in the first place.” 

Konig looked at the older man in confusion, “what do you mean, Captain?” 

John’s eyes glazed over, “I never told you why we were here, did I?” 

“No, but I figured you were all on the run,” Konig said. “And that it had something to do with Maus.” 

John’s eyes lit up hearing Konig’s name for you as he took another sip. 

“Wren, she saw something she was never supposed to see,” John frowned. “Something that goes all the way up to the top. Something that lacks all honor that those sods tried their damn best to bury it. But Wren found it, and it dug it all back for them. And so they planned to do what they always do-” 

“They’re going to kill her,” Konig said, dread sinking into every ounce of his being. 

John frowned before finally nodding., “but your comrades seem to think they’ve fulfilled their end of the bargain. They left, off to the next highest payer. You’re the only one who stayed. Which is why I came to you.” 

The two men could ignite wildfires with the heat of their gazes toward each other. 

“Are you with us on this? Will you help us get our bird back?” John said with all seriousness. 

Konig’s eyes narrowed, “you have me, Captain.” 

John nodded, standing on his two feet, “good, we move out at dawn. Get ready.” 

“I’m always ready, Captain.” 

“I will see you soon, kleine maus.” 

↭

  The ringing in your ears refused to cease. Your eyelids feel heavy, most likely swollen. Your entire body ached, your wrists and ankles bound tightly together, the zipties digging into your open skin. You laid on your side, your head limply laying on what felt like leather. You tried your best to tune your ears to what was around you. You wiggled trying to find something that could tell you where you were. Your throat felt so dry that even if you tried to speak you worried it would crack and bleed. You groaned, forcing your eyes to open to blinding sunlight. You were in a car, that much made sense. You laid on the back seat, the leather seats sticking to your clammy skin. 

You squint your eyes to see the dusty blonde head of hair over the driver’s seat. You blinked in confusion, trying to piece together how you got here in the back seat of this mystery car driven by a complete stranger. Your memory came back to you like an unwelcome friend. You remember the struggle, the bruise you were sure going to get from being thrown back onto the desk. The sickly sweet smell of whatever chemical your abductor used to put you under. The back of Konig’s head as he left to see what Price wanted. 

Rage burst into you heart as you tried your best to pull against your restraints, only to find yourself weak. 

“It’s useless,” the man you thought you knew as Richards said  in an annoying sing-song voice. “The drug won’t wear off for another few hours. Don’t waste what little energy you have, sweetheart.” 

You glared up at the rear view mirror, finding the man’s eyes peering back at you with amusement. 

“Who are you? Where are you taking me?” You growl. 

“We’re going back to my place,” he smiled as if saying this to his date, “then you’re going to tell me everything you know, and then, I’ll kill you.” 

You felt your blood run cold at his words. Your eyes narrowed. 

“Shepherd sent you.” 

“Ah! There’s that sharp cunningness Shepherd told me all about!” 

You glared at the man with a stare of thousand daggers. This gaze did little to faze your abductor as his smile never left his smug face. 

“Why not just kill me? Save yourself the trouble,” you said. 

“Ah, where would the fun be in that!” The man said, sounding like he was going on a day out at a theme park and not like a man who was your executioner. 

“No, I intend on taking my time with you,” he said, his gaze connecting with your own, letting you see the true darkness in his eyes. 

You fell silent, instead trying to look outside to try to get a clue on where you were, or how far you could be from base. From Konig. You could feel your stomach drop as the tall Austrian popped into your mind. Did he know you were gone? Was he even looking for you? In the end, he was part of KorTac, a company not renowned for loyalty to one agency. But…Konig was different. He was caring, empathetic and kind. If the two of you had enough time, you could find out why such a quiet soul could be in such a messy business. But then again, so were you. 

“You won’t get far,” you said with a huff. “You have no idea who’s coming for you.” 

“Correction: I know exactly who's coming for me, little bird,” Richards said. “And I’m counting on it.”

You brow furrowed at his words, making him snicker, “you really think Shephard would just let their insubordination go? Come on, you can’t be that naive!”

“Shut up-”

“You know, I should really thank you, not only do I get to take out the 141, but now KorTac’s finest? Ugh, it’s like Christmas morning,” Richards sighed. 

You lurch forward in a rage, “you leave Konig out of this!” 

“Oh, like you did?” Richards cocked a brow. “If my memory serves me right, it was because of you that KorTac even got dragged into this mess. And it will be because of you that your beloved Konig will die.”

You felt your chest begin to tighten in panic as the thought of everyone you ever loved, ever cared about being reduced to nothing but cold flesh all in your name. You begin to struggle against your restraints, pulling at them wildly. 

“Ah, doctor?” Richards said. 

You look up at the man and in a split second you catch the small almost travel size bottle in his large hand before Richard squeezed the little trigger. You recoiled back but to no avail, the mysterious potion infiltrated and coating your throat. You cough violently, your vision beginning to swim. 

“Trust me, it would be best if you sit this part out. Easier for both of us,” Richard smirked. “Sweet dreams, little bird.”

You fell onto you back with a groan, eyes rolling back up to the roof of the car. You fought to keep your eyes open but only to be swallowed back into the darkness. 

↭

73. 

73 hours since you’ve been abducted. As each hour passed, your trail got colder and Konig became more restless. This was clear with his foul attitude that no one could dare miss. What was left of the men on the base sat around a makeshift table with schematics scattered across it. Konig stood hunched over, his palms supporting his weight on the table. Price stood at the head of the table, Ghost to his right, Gaz to his left. Soap had tried his best to try to keep Konig cool so he stayed a safe but supportive distance close to Konig. 

“What you know is that Shephard all but lost most of his clean contacts to DC, so there’s a good chance he won’t be able to smuggle her into the States,” Gaz said with arms crossed. 

“That doesn’t completely squash the possibility,” said Ghost. 

“But would he even go through the trouble? I mean if he’s already got what he wants. Why drag it out?” Gaz said. 

“You’re right, if he was smart, she’s long dead,” Ghost said matter of factly. 

The wood of the table creaked under Konig’s fist at the mention of the idea. Soap leaned over. 

“That’s not going to happen, because we’re gonna get to the fucker first,” Soap said. 

Price agreed, “Soap is right. If there’s one thing I know about that snake is that he likes to play with his food. He won’t just kill her quickly.” 

“That doesn’t make it better,” Konig said, finally standing to his full height, effectively dwarfing the rest of the men. “There must be some sort of lead of where she could have been taken.” 

“He’ll want to take care of this quietly and under the radar,” Gaz said.

“Slimy bastard won’t even come to do it himself most likely,” Ghost scoffed. “Won’t want to get his hands dirty, ‘why he sent that fucker.” 

“And we know he’s petty-” 

“That much is clear,” Soap rolled his eyes. “The bellhead chased across half of fucking Europe.” 

“So he’ll take her to a place that holds some kind of memory, maybe?” Gaz shrugged. 

Price’s eyes shot wide with realization, “Las Almas.” 

These words caught 141's attention. 

“Would he really be that obvious?” Soap said. 

“Or stupid,” Ghost chimed in. 

“But that’s exactly wants,” Price said, “he’ll want to take this back to ground zero: Las Almas.” 

“What’s in Las Almas?” Konig asked. 

“It’s where we first found out how dirty Shepherd liked to play,” Soap grunted. “Evidently he slipped out of our hands, until Wren found data suggesting his whereabouts and what’s been keeping the sorry fucker busy. Guess he didn’t want anyone poking around in his business again.” 

“And you think he’s taken Maus there?” Konig said. 

“It’s our only lead,” Price sighed, hands gripping his vest. 

Konig sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly before nodding his head, “then we shall go.” 

“And luckily for us, we have friends on the other side,” Ghost smirked underneath his mask. 

“Los Fuerzas Especiales,” Soap smirked looking up at Konig, “Mexican Special Forces. They owe us a bit of a favor.” 

Konig looked back to Price who almost looked at him as if to give him the word. Konig stoney gaze didn’t waver.

“No more waiting. We leave tonight.”

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Thanks for reading!

#konig x reader #cod mw2 #call of duty #ghost #soap #konig #price #angst #slow burn #dark #seraphim collections: gentle giant

[some-pers0n]

Medic is a character I feel people agree is often mischaracterized in fanworks, but nobody can really settle on why that is or how people get to that assumption. What makes him mischaracterized? Does he care too much about his team? Too little? What even is his character to begin with? Does he even have one? Why should we even care since he's a comedic character designed to make you laugh first?

In other words, hi! I'm a fanfic writer who is extremely abnormal about Medic TF2. Those two things are going to be pretty central to the topic of this analysis piece of sorts. This right here is an essay that details the characterization of the Medic from Team Fortress 2 from the character's inception in development all the way until the final comic. Yes. The one character.

I'm doing this mostly as a way for a) me to comb through canon material and study this character so I can remind myself over and over again how he acts and b) me not-so-subtly venting about how much of a nightmare it is to find a fanfic that writes Medic in a way that aligns with his characterization in canon. It 100% is because I'm a picky whiny bitch who can't help but constantly read like a writer and overanalyze everything, but I think I'm not that alone when I say that the fandom's perception of Medic is...warped.

But why? Why do people seem to not exactly understand or get him? Why is it hard to find common ground on what aspects of Medic are in-character or not? Why do so many people have wildly different interpretations of it?

Short answer: Medic's character has shifted pretty drastically from his original inception in 2007 to the last released comic in 2017, retconning him from a cold and calculated dominating doctor to a silly and goofy mad scientist to make him more funny. There is no real proper true characterization and everyone can have their own interpertation.

Long answer? Well...let's get to that.

I should probably preface this with a couple main interpretations of Medic's character and how I think it's fascinating to understand where they come from. They also set the groundwork as to how these different characterizations of Medic come from.

There's what I like to call "Game Medic". Game Medic is the most common interpretation amongst players of the game. Redditors and the like point to this interpretation of Medic and hail him as the "true" characterization of him. Honestly? I can't blame them. Have you heard Medic's voice lines?? A lot of them are him barking orders at the others and hissing at his fellow mercenaries about their incompetency. It gives him the aura of a man driven to madness by having to take care of his teammates, reflecting that of what a lot of Medic mains feel.

Game Medic characterizes Medic mostly as a sadistic man who does not care for the other mercenaries. He's dominating and demanding, ordering around the others. He laughs maliciously when there's death and, famously, he believes that healing is not nearly as rewarding as harming others. People generally believe that Medic would experiment on the mercs against their will and torture them for his own amusement. It's not uncommon in these circles who believe in this characterization for theories and suggestions of Medic once being a Nazi to crop up.

I don't believe this is an accurate characterization of him, at least not anymore. I'll get into the details of why later, but the basic summation is that Medic had a rather different personality in 2007 that was later shifted and changed to be more comedic and silly as the years went along.

The next most common is "Fanfiction Medic". It's the Medic you see in those TF2 x Reader stuff, in the sense of Medic being reduced to a caring and compassionate man. It takes more aspects from the comics but does still miss the point of his character in favour of making him easy to sympathize and identify with. He can have aspects of his in-game portrayal, with him being overly critical of the one he loves. He's affectionate, sweet, and generally really caring and loyal, if possessive and easily jealous. In fanfic, he ranges from being dark and intimidating in a sexy and dominating way to a generally nice guy who just loves his partner.

It's the inverse of Game Medic and is often mocked and made fun of. You'll see memes that compare an overexaggerated version of Fanfiction Medic, with him being extremely submissive and soft, to Game Medic, who oftentimes acts in a more dark and violent way, perhaps bringing into his utter disregard for life and his obsession with experimenting using animal organs.

This interpretation should go without saying that it's also not exactly true to his character. Flanderizing him to the point where he doesn't even really identify with any traits or qualities from the game or comics. And for what? To make him more appealing? Or perhaps can people not fathom him acting in a more mean and rude way?

So...how did we get here? Why is Medic and his characterization such a divisive topic? Characters like Scout and Engineer seem to have pretty consistent characterization through and through all subspaces of the fandom. Why Medic? And, even still, why do most people have a hard time replicating his voice? His personality? Anything?

That's what we're going to talk about here today, folks.

Pre-MtM

Let's start with pre-TF2 days: Invasion. The concept art of Medic was very much in line with the whole orderly doctor archetype. Serious expression, clean pristine white clothes. There's a sense of authority and dominance to him. This is a man of reason and science. He is a mercenary. A Medic who heals his team from the brink of death.

This characterization I feel lasted until the style shift, where TF2 became more of a comedic and light-hearted game. This is where I believe the whole "disgruntled angel of death" stuff comes from. Medic retains that order and dignity, which leads into the game.

His voice lines, as previously mentioned, are aggressive and accusatory to his own team. I wouldn't blame you if you assumed he hated his team entirely. He claims that his skill is wasted here, that they're all useless idiots, so on and so forth. It characterizes him as having a grudge towards his fellow workers, only doing this because he enjoys the thrill of bloodshed and violence. It definitely paints him more as being a sadistic madman like the rest of them.

It's a characterization I've already covered, so for the sake of not sounding redundant, let's say that in 2007, the inception of Medic as we know, was predominantly portrayed as a somewhat sane, albeit sadistic and authoritative man of science. He is violent and generally looks down upon his coworkers, viewing them as half-wits who only get him killed over and over again. From his body language, he's a lot more rigid and straight than the others. It gives the impression that he's a proper, well-mannered serious character.

A major moment of characterization that could've happened was the scrapped original Meet the Medic video. I believe this would've come out in 2009 alongside the other Meet the Team videos like Meet the Heavy, Meet the Sniper, Meet the Soldier, etc and etc. While it isn't canon per se, it's still a topic worth mentioning and talking about.

Around this time, TF2 was becoming a lot more comedic than its original inception. Saxton Hale and Mann Co. had been invented, two things that would be a sign of what the game and property would eventually become. It's light-hearted and silly now! In the Classless Update of 2009, there were newspaper clippings showing a saga in which the King of Australia waged a war against a hill. The Spy VS Sniper Update added Jarate, a literal jar of Sniper's piss. Hats!! HATS!! The games were changing quite noticeably from how they originally were.

Which brings us to the scrapped trailer. A basic summary is that Medic is being interviewed on a train and talking about how he invented the medi-gun. It begins with a cold opening of a BLU Sniper bleeding out while a Soldier of the same team calls out for help. They are then promptly run over by a train, the exact one that Medic is on as the next shot is of him putting away luggage as the gore and guts from the run-over Soldier and Sniper splat onto his window. Again, comedic cold open played for laughs. It sets the tone of Medic as being a serious character with a streak of silliness to him. It also helps that there is a chessboard there, further characterizing him as an intellectual.

Medic then begins his story. It's a dark and terrible sight to see. The team is losing and the Heavy is bleeding out. He seems overworked, having to fend off against a Spy all by himself and quickly trying to save the Heavy. The rest of his team are useless, just standing there screaming as they're in pain. Again, further characterizes him as a savior to them. The only competent one.

Then, something quite new happens. Medic slaps Heavy in frustration once he flatlines. He...slaps Heavy. It's on impulse and clearly done in irritation, but that's quite different. Before, we've seen Medic as a somewhat calculated individual. He's not prone to rash choices out of emotions. He loves bloodshed and violence, but he's fairly contained and controlled.

I think the slap is one of the first examples of Medic's character really beginning to shift. It's done for laughs, yes, but it shows him as being emotional and prone to getting physically violent and angry. I can practically hear him saying: "Live damn you! Live!" as he slaps him.

Then, chaos erupts in the room as a stray rocket blasts into the room. It knocks over Medic and he's left to lie on the ground, watching as his teammates do nothing more than scream and flail around. Yet, through a series of events, everything falls into place to create a naturally healing liquid. He watches on in fascination and amazement before then scrambling back to Heavy, pumping more blood into the puddle of Healing Juice. Eventually, the Heavy is revived.

Then the Spy head is resurrected and begins screaming for death. Again, characterizing Medic as being morbidly comedic. Medic screams (startled by the dismembered head coming to life)(reasonable reaction) and begins shooting it. Again, impulsive and acting on instinct.

Once realizing that the Spy's head is invincible, he shoots it one more time, giggling after it. He GIGGLES. Do you understand me when I say that this is important? Look at him as he does that. Tell me he doesn't do a little "hooh!!" after that final shot.

Medic's laughter is a rather large part of his later characterization, as it goes deeper into the whole eccentric mad scientist archetype instead. It's when Medic is beginning to break away from that only characterization and become...silly. He's sadistic, but he enjoys it with whimsy and intrigue. He is fascinated by the Spy head.

Medic then begins work. It furthers his sadistic characterization by him using the Spy head as a means to hold nails and such. Something that we don't see too much later on from this is that Medic builds the medi-gun. Strange since most of the time the one who's characterized as building things is Engie. This is probably done to give a sense of competency to Medic. He's a man of science capable of doing anything.

The video ends on what would later become the scene of Medic walking out with angelic light behind him and doves flying out. Still has that whole angelic feeling to him AND also when his doves first come into play. Him being seen as a holy saviour feeds into his characterization of him having a god complex. He sees himself as a man who makes gods out of men.

So, what have we learned from this video? Well, Medic's commentary is quite proper and professional. In canon lore, he would've been interviewed by the Director. His characterization would be a man of science who views himself as the only really competent person on the team. However, he's prone to fits of impulsive rage and doesn't seem to feel any remorse for his outbursts. He is an inventor of sorts, who experiments and finds it fascinating to work with science.

I also believe this is when it's first shown that Medic likes experiments. Beforehand, he was just a doctor. Now? He tests and experiments and enjoys it. He's still a sadistic madman who loves violence, but all in all, he seems a little more comedic than he did in 2007.

The original idea was scrapped as the team believed that the short didn't exactly show who Medic was. It didn't comply with what players had when they thought of "Medic". Even back then, I think they wanted to have Medic's character be something else. Something more grandiose. Also, it doesn't really touch on Medic's gameplay. It just introduces the medi-gun. 

Medic's characterization would slowly grow more and more comedic as time goes on, moving away from the idea of him being a serious doctor and more of a mad scientist. What with new cosmetics and taunts. 

But...this isn't enough. No, not enough. He's still not as goofy as, say, the Soldier, Scout, or Demoman. Does he need to be? No, but he could be. He could be something more. 

In late June of 2011, the Über Update happened. It was a large-scale content update that not only made TF2 free-to-play, but also added several new cosmetics, weapons, and maps. But that's not what we really care about here, is it?

You already know what it is. The bombshell that changed Medic's character forever.

Meet the Medic

The short opens up with an action scene of Scout and Demo running away. Both are heavily injured and are trying to escape from enemy fire. Scout gets blown away and is then hit with three different rockets, sending him flying into a window where he calls out for Medic before cutting to the title card.

Instantly establishes Medic as a character who the others turn to for help. Good introduction to the character and his general role and premise as well as a neat prelude that catches the attention of the audience. But enough of that. It's time for the man himself.

Immediately we are hit with an iconic line of dialogue that establishes that, no, this is no serious and stoic character. This is a different, more interesting and developed version of Medic. 

"Wait, wait, wait, it gets better! When the patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and the doctor was never heard from again!" [Mad laughter] "Ahh... Anyway, that's how I lost my medical license, heh."

Do you see me here? I am gripping my screen here in some attempt to grab you by the shoulders and shake you. Do you understand what this means in terms of characterization? How different he is? How much sillier he has gotten?!

Okay, let's start off by describing this. Medic is performing surgery on Heavy. Based on the bullet wounds, it's suggested that this impromptu surgery is happening mid-battle. Medic is talking to Heavy incredibly casually-- he's TALKING to Heavy. He should be under anesthesia considering he currently has his entire chest open.

This already characterizes Medic as casual when it comes to surgery. He's doing medical malpractice and, not only is he completely unbothered, but so is Heavy. It could imply that this is regular behaviour and Heavy is not worried.

This surgery is just as normal to Medic as a barber cutting somebody's hair. He's telling stories and generally having fun. He's having fun he'S HAVING FUN-- He's laughing and just generally enjoying himself! Being silly!!

Not to mention the story itself is dark. The punchline is that "the doctor stole a patient's skeleton and ran away". Medic laughs hysterically after this. He finds it hilarious. Not to also mention he follows it up with that little "that's how I lost my medical license :)"

Not only did he steal a man's skeleton, managing to keep him alive as implied with him saying that the patient woke up and noticed his skeleton was missing (so he managed to extract the man's skeleton and leave his nervous system in place), but he finds it funny! It's a comical story he finds enjoyment in telling others. He even seems proud of it and doesn't regret it in the slightest.

He doesn't even seem to really pick up on Heavy's face drop or that maybe he shouldn't be telling this story when he's got somebody on the operating table. Perhaps a little socially unaware? Eh, could just be headcanons bleeding into analysis.

He doesn't have his gloves on either. Just handling Heavy's heart without any gloves or anything. Again, casual medical malpractice that he does not seem bothered by in the slightest. This idea of Medic doing surgery and or experiments with his gloves off while putting them on for literally anything else also pops back up in the comics, but we'll get to that soon.

Let's not also forget that this man laughs. Like straight-up laughs like a mad scientist. Before, we had gotten voice lines of him are evil, malevolent cackles. He's mocking the ones that he kills. Here's?? It's a lot more whimsical and silly. It's something that'll be something he does a lot more later on: laugh when he's just generally happy or nervous.

But enough about that one line of dialogue. We have the rest of the short to watch!

Archimedes pops out of Heavy's chest cavity. Medic scolds him and shoos him away. He glances over back at Heavy. For a frame or two, his eyes are wide and his expression shifts. He realized that, y'know, maybe it's not too great from Heavy's perspective to have Archimedes digging around in there. He shrugs it off with an anxious laugh. Not to also mention he absentmindedly wipes the blood on his clothes. Again, very unprofessional and not very concerned about it.

Quick note about the symbolism of doves. Doves are seen as a sign of peace and whatnot, usually combined with angelic qualities. A dove with blood on it would imply that its original meaning is perverted in some way, especially if the dove is going out of its way for the blood. It's a harbinger of peace, but finds infinite more enjoyment indulging in the bloodshed and violence of the destruction it's meant to oppose. 

Medic grabs what I like to call a über implant. It's what gives the heart the ability to be übercharged. He sticks it into Heavy's heart, saying that, while most hearts cannot withstand the voltage, he believes that Heavy's heart will be able to take it.

He puts it near the beam of the quick-fix and it instantly explodes.

Medic overestimates the abilities of Heavy's heart, thinking it was strong enough. It was not. This characterizes Medic as being somewhat optimistic and believes his own theories based on no previous data or evidence. Throwing caution to the wind and hoping for the best.

However! He adapts. He thinks for a second. This is no setback. He quells Heavy's concerns saying that, no, this is the sound of progress, mein Freund. This shows that he is quick with improvisation and is completely fine with deviating suddenly whenever a new problem arises.

He digs into his mini-fridge, where he gets more characterization. He's got a collection of animal organs in here. He likes experimenting with them, so he keeps them on standby. He does not care if Heavy doesn't want an animal organ in him. This is a life-or-death scenario. Either he goes on out there without a heart or he takes the mega baboon heart.

There's also beer, implying that he likes it enough to keep it nearby. He also keeps one of Heavy's sandwiches, perhaps either for himself or for Heavy.

There's also the head of the BLU Spy, a cute callback to the scrapped Meet the Medic video. It's there with a battery keeping it alive as well as an ashtray. Medic dismisses its request to Die without a second thought. He's got more important business to attend to.

He attaches the über implant and holds it under the quick-fix's beam. Here, again, he laughs maniacally. It makes Heavy uncomfortable, but eh who cares about him this is the Medic essay. Medic is clearly enjoying the beauty of experimentation and playing god here, harking back to the idea of him having a god complex.

Finally, it's done. It glows. "Oh, that looks good," Medic says as he drops it haphazardly into Heavy's chest cavity. He doesn't even really know if this is a good sign or not. It's just glowing and beating in his hands. It's fine. Everything's all good.

Heavy asks the completely reasonable question of whether or not he should be awake. Medic laughs anxiously, a nervous tic it seems, and says, "Well, no, but as long as you are, could you hold your rib cage open a bit?" He's fully aware that Heavy shouldn't be conscious, but because of the continuous healing from his quick-fix, he doesn't really care.

Medic being aloof and generally disregarding the rules of proper medical care is a constant piece of characterization with him. Whatever works best he does. Headcanon territory here, but I believe that he finds the rules and restrictions to hold him down. Prevent him from doing what's best with such nonsense things like "ethics" and "moral codes" and "being a doctor doesn't mean you get to play god".

Heavy moves his hand to open his rib cage a bit, letting Medic push in the heart. However, Medic is too rough and goes too deep, snapping one of Heavy's ribs in the process. Medic's eyes widen, but he quickly recovers. "Don't be such a baby." He grabs it and pinches Heavy's cheek. "Ribs grow back." He tosses the rib aside and turns to Archimedes. "No, they don't."

He lies to make Heavy feel better. It also displays that Medic is physically affectionate of sorts when doing surgery. I personally headcanon that he's a very touchy-feely person who generally doesn't care what other people think as he grabs them by the shoulder or cheek, but, again, headcanons. Also! Ribs do grow back, which implies either a) Medic doesn't know this or b) the TF2 universe works a bit differently.

The surgery is complete. Does he check to see if any of the valves, arteries, or veins line up? Nope! Grabs the quick-fix and heals Heavy back up. He grins wickedly while doing this, still enjoying the art of surgery and experimentation.

He helps Heavy up and smiles, saying the: "Let's go practice medicine" line. He likes those quips.

He suits up (putting his gloves on for once) and comes out of the base. Quick note here about the soundtrack. I neglected to mention how much the three songs attached to Medic perfectly reflect his character, from Archimedes being plucky and a little silly, to A Little Heart to Heart being more sinister and perverting the more light-hearted tune of Archimedes, to Medic! being a full-on jazzy piece of glory (and also the best song). I could go further into all three tracks, but let's just do some basic analysis of the first bit of the song here.

The song begins with an angelic choir, which, again, paints Medic in the light of a holy figure that saves and protects the others. Then, it devolves, getting darker and more menacing before the saxophone, trumpets, bass guitar, and drums kick in, going back to the usual TF2 style.

Medic is a mad mercenary like the rest of them. He puts on a facade of being proper and angelic, but he's no different than the others.

It all comes together with him walking out, a radiant white light behind him as his doves fly out. Combined with his steady expression, he seems like an angel who's come to save them all. At least until the song shifts, where he grins and begins to heal the others.

So on and so forth. The next part isn't as character-defining, mostly just a display of Medic's role in the game because, like healing. It does a better job of showing what his class does than the scrapped version, I'll give it that. He heals Scout and Demo before shifting focus back to Heavy.

An onslaught of BLU Soldiers are closing in on them. Heavy glances back, asking if Medic is sure that this plan will work.

Medic laughs, saying that he has no idea. Again, he doesn't know. He doesn't care. He's having fun and is just experimenting willy-nilly without a clue as to whether it'll actually work. He just hopes.

He flicks the switch and, lo and behold, it works. Heavy is übercharged and they march on to victory. The short ends there, with a small epilogue showing the rest of the mercs getting their own über implant surgery. Again, the final scene shows Medic's lack of care as Archimedes is implied to have crawled into Scout's chest and been sealed up when it was over.

Whew!! Two thousand words of analysis on one four-minute short. But, I assume you can understand why, no? This short is monumental when it comes to characterizing Medic. He's not stoic. Quite the opposite! He's careless when it comes to following proper procedures and order. He is a giggly mess who chuckles and laughs at almost anything, nervously or not. He's concerned when Heavy shows anxiety and uncertainty. He's generally a lot more goofy and silly here, you know?

He now instead mostly mirrors the eccentric mad scientist archetype. Laughing, experimenting without a care, and generally being a couple screws loose. Instead of the cold, calculative bloodthirsty character he once was, he's a lot more close and emotional here.

This characterization becomes the basis of what the following taunts and voice lines would be about. His Halloween voice lines are a lot more silly, with him laughing a lot. His Medimedes cosmetic is him screaming in agony and laughing maniacally about his new predicament.

If I may, I want to quickly talk about the Sec-Op cosmetic lines. Sec-Op I personally interpret as a fabricated evil dark side. I don't think of Sec-Op as "Medic's evil secret thoughts" and more of a force that's attached to him that acts like how a typical normal evil dark side thingymabobber works. The joke with the cosmetic is that Medic is as evil as Sec-Op, but is more casual about it. Of course, other people can see it as something else, I just think of it like that.

What I particularly want to talk about are two curious lines. Sec-Op questions whether or not Medic worries he's going mad. Medic doesn't mind. He doesn't care. Even if he is, it's not the end of the world. However, he gets extremely offended when Sec-Op suggests that the other mercs think that Medic is crazy.

Medic gets insulted when others think of him as mad, yet he himself is fine with it. Why? I think Medic himself cares a lot about how he's perceived. He claims he doesn't. He does. If he's thought of in a way that he doesn't want to be thought about, he gets upset. He doesn't care about what other normal people think of him since any conversation they have will come out as negative, but with the mercs? Nah man. Nah...

The ego of this man is a central part of how I view him. He likes being praised and admired. He likes being lifted up and viewed as a god amongst men. He wants to defy the laws of nature just because he feels like he's better than anybody else. He's a little goofy that way, y'know?

Then, of course, we have Expiration Date. I promise I'll try to be a little less exhaustively wordy here since a lot of his characterization is still the same.

Medic and Engie have been experimenting with the teleporters and bread. When Scout, Soldier, and Heavy return from their own trip to get the intel, the pair break the bad news. Here, Medic exhibits characteristics of his in-game self. It could definitely be because of how dire the situation is (they're all going to die in a matter of days), but it's worthy to note.

They don't entertain Scout and instead get straight to telling them about it. When Engie teleports the bread in, Medic tears it apart, proudly showing off the disgusting insides. He tells them all that these green blobs are tumours with a wide, grin. He seems somewhat amused by it, contrasting with the rest of them being confused or mournful.

When asked about how long it'll be, he quickly calculates in his head that they have roughly three days to live. He says it pretty dramatically too. Prissy drama queen.

Engie and Medic then curiously enough spend the next three days experimenting with the bread. Apparently, they were so busy as to not even attend Spy's bucket list meeting. Curious bit of characterization. Engie and Medic both care enough about the team to spend their last few days trying to find some sort of reason for these tumours and possibly a cure. They care about their team (or at the very least their lives) on some level.

Engie teleports bread. Medic grins as it appears in front of him, still humoured by seeing teleportation in action. Or, perhaps he notices it changing and shifting. Regardless, the bread attacks him. Not much to note here other than he's screaming loudly and dramatically. Again, prissy drama queen. He's only having a big bread monster lunge directly at his jugular. Get a grip.

Engie and Medic return to Spy and the rest of them, telling them that, no, they aren't dying in three days, but rather that it's only bread that gets the tumours. Instead, as Medic puts it: "It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat" before then shaking around the bloodthirsty monster and showing it off. He's just happy and excited to be alive and show off that, no, this is just a bread problem. Everything is all great.

Until Soldier says that he's been teleporting bread non-stop for three days.

Medic tosses the jar aside and rushes towards Soldier, shaking him around. Again, harking back to that moment of physical frustration in the scrapped Meet the Medic short. Him being impulsive and prone to sudden mood shifts is still a part of his character.

They fight the bread monster, they win, Medic corrects Soldier when he says that they'll live forever, and then he rejoins Engie as the both of them inspect the bread monster. Looks like the two of them will get to keep on experimenting.

And there we are. I could touch on the other shorts, but this is already long enough and those shorts are just repeating the same information. Meet the Medic is vital to the characterization of Medic now. Everything in the comics and shorts with him happens because of what Meet the Medic set up.

And, well, speaking of the comics, why don't we talk about those?

Comics

The comics notably do not feature a lot of Medic, at least the ones previous to the mainline comics. The comics are much more entertained with the stories of Soldier in particular. Understandable, Soldier is an almost entirely comedic character (until the comics decide to randomly throw in ideas of him being repulsed by the idea of being a civilian and can only really function in a war setting). However, it does leave the others lacking in a lot of characterization while we get a bunch of Soldier trivia.

But enough about me quietly complaining about the comics, let's talk about the issues where Medic appears!

He appears in A Fate Worse Than Chess, but doesn't do much other than watch the TV playing Saxton's message and then prepare himself for battle. In Shadow Boxers...also not too much. Just sorta dismisses the meeting and says goodnight (??? it's like midday???) before heading off. Nothing really to write home about.

Gargoyles & Gravel is where he actually gets some proper screen time again. He's experimenting on a jack-o-lantern with Engie. As far as characterization goes, he's repeatedly shown to have connections to Heavy and Engie. I'll get to Medic and Heavy soon enough, but with Engie, Medic seems to enjoy experimenting with him. They collaborate on projects and work together.

This is no different. Medic has implanted a brain into the pumpkin, one that belonged to a criminal who tried mugging him. This also implies that Medic has zero qualms about just incapacitating and experimenting on people. Personally? I like headcanoning that he cares more about his team than he does the average person, so he doesn't really feel any sort of guilt or remorse when just grabbing somebody off the streets for a healthy amount of medical malpractice. If he is performing on the mercs, he cares a little more. A Little.

Regardless, Medic is dressed up as Viktor Frankenstein, a matching costume for Heavy's Frankenstein's Monster costume. Again, comparing him to famous fictional mad scientists. Also quite cute.

Medic is again not wearing his gloves. He also declines Engie's offer for a beer, saying that he doesn't drink during surgery. Well, at least he cares enough to not drink during surgery, but y'know. Curious how this is the only real thing he seems to care about. They revive the person's consciousness, having them possess the pumpkin. Medic then says that the pumpkin could "scare the children straight". Does he not like kids or just find them hooligans? Perhaps he just likes seeing people scared. Or maybe it's just Halloween dialogue.

Anywho, Engie takes the pumpkin away and Medic reappears at the end to hold his bonesaw with a wicked smile.

So, now, time for the actual comics.

For the first couple of comics, Medic is nowhere to be seen. He's one of the characters shrouded in mystery for a while. Pauling wasn't able to track him or Engie down. Where could he be?

Then, we learn that he's still alive and well, but now working with Gray Mann as the new Medic for the TFC BLU team. But wait, those are the bad guys!

Medic's introduction scene in the comics establishes a couple of things. One, he's still the same ol' medical malpractitioner who's been busy sewing baboon uteruses into some of the team members. He's excited to work with them. Literally. He brings up how they're "blank canvases", saying how their previous Medic must not have experimented on them.

Secondly, he's still pretty lax with morals. The comics definitely make it more clear how he's unaware that maybe people don't want animal organs sewn into them, whether they know it or not. If asked about it, he brushes it off and says: "Eh, it's not like it's hurting you in any way that we know of yet" before quickly switching topics. 

Another thing of note is that he explicitly lied to the TFC Scout. Interesting. He told him that he was going to fill a cavity, only to then sew three baboon uteruses into him. He's a lot more careless and reckless with the TFC team. Or maybe he also was with his previous team. Again, personal headcanons bleeding into analysis, but I don't think Medic cares nearly as much about the TFC team as he does with his main team. But, again, disregard that if you will. Medic simply just being a lying little prissy bastard is also equally as valid.

The ending panel of the scene has Medic consider and bask in the glory of his "latest triumphs" going toe-to-toe with his "earliest experiments". The phrasing implies that he doesn't particularly care about his previous team. Again, Medic likes his bloodshed and violence. He doesn't play sides or really care. He just wants to see how his newest cadavers fare against the older ones.

Medic then shows up again in the next comic at the very end, smiling wickedly after Sniper is shot by the TFC Sniper. This is then later explained away cause Joke and Funny, but we'll get to it soon.

In Old Wounds, Medic is shown to work on Sniper's body. By his own accord and will, he decides to bring Sniper back to life. Why? Well, number one this is TF2 and death is ultimately meaningless when it's done to the main cast because they're our main characters. Secondly? Well, we soon find out.

After Sniper has his little moment, he wakes up to find Medic there. Medic is less concerned with Sniper's state (both physical and mental) and is more obsessed with the idea of Sniper not being able to witness his crowning medical achievement. Ego! Look at that right there. He's concerned with how he's perceived, probably for just personal pleasure.

Also, the return of the god complex. "It's like I've always said! There's nothing wrong with playing God, so long as you are good at it!" It implies that he's said it several times before, that he's playing God and it's perfectly fine and okay because it works out in the end. He likes the idea of playing around with the laws of nature and God's will.

However, while he's gloating, Sniper attacks. This surprises Medic. Medic was either caught up in his own personal victory to notice Sniper being upset or he never once considered that Sniper would be upset, but rather congratulate him over it. Both? Yeah, probably both. He says this when Sniper says that he killed him. "It's okay though cause I brought you back to life, ja?" basically. He also then explains why he was smiling: it's just how he normally looks. He just looks like that! Smug and evil! 

Medic then also elaborates on his reasoning for why he joined the TFC team. He was bored mostly. Medic loves his experimentation. He would've felt bored and as though his talents were being wasted if he wasn't able to be a mercenary. The TFC needed a Medic, so what then? Join them! He needs the funding.

Again, when explaining he still brings up how it's his greatest triumph, bringing back another person from the dead. Medic in the comics is quite boastful it seems. However, he does seem to care enough about Sniper's physical state to try and stop him from going straight back to work (killing people) before they're then interrupted by Cheavy. Ohhh Cheavy...

Cheavy is rightfully pissed that Medic revived Sniper. Why wouldn't he be??? Medic just revived the guy they killed. And for what reason? Just to say: "Haha!! I brought a man back from the dead?" Cheavy makes it known how upset he is. In a rage, he kills Archimedes.

Medic flips. Perhaps in the only real time that Medic is deeply affected by death, he screams and rushes over to his feathered little friend. Something I've brushed over until now is that Medic really loves his birds. It's a strong big of characterization that his birds, with Archimedes in particular, being something he loves deeply. He cares more about them than he does with anything else. When Archimedes is in Heavy's chest, Medic cares more about Archimedes getting dirty than he is with Heavy having a bird in his stomach.

As Medic is trying to revive Archimedes, Cheavy barks at him. Medic apparently managed to coax the team into buying him a bunch of animal organs. Guy just has a certain charm to him. Or he's just extremely adamant about it. Regardless, Cheavy isn't too pleased with him.

Even while Cheavy is nagging him, Medic STILL tries to boast about his crowning medical achievement. He seriously does not understand that now is not the time to go all: "Yeah!! I brought him back to life!! Isn't that so cool? Aren't I just the best?"

He gets yelled at, but Medic still seems unphased. Perhaps he's either used to it considering that Cheavy just yells at everyone or he's still riding the high of bringing Sniper back to life. He's excited to go out and help the TFC team, saying that he'll be right behind Cheavy. That mirrors exactly what he says to Heavy.

But Cheavy swipes him away. Cheavy doesn't want anything to do with him (which is quite frankly the most reasonable thing to do right now). Cheavy orders Medic to stay in the infirmary and get out of their way, which Medic doesn't like in the slightest. Another headcanon, but I like the idea of Medic being extremely stubborn and constantly wanting to be in a dominating role. He likes ordering people around as shown with his personality in-game and the idea of him having to submit to another person just pisses him off.

And so, he betrays the TFC fully, rejoining the TF team.

In The Naked and the Dead, we open on Medic scrambling to get Miss Pauling blood. Again, improvisation shows here as he manages to figure out that if he just pours blood back into the bodies they'll live. Who cares if blood clots happen because of contradicting blood types?

He also says a curious line. When Miss Pauling expresses skepticism about this tactic working, he just goes: "I know, ja? Why do people even go to medical school?" Some people interpret this as him never even going to medical school. Personally? I like thinking that he's just mocking the need for a proper education when something as simple as pouring a bunch of blood into a person can bring them back to health.

It's a joke, but he's shown to be dedicated to bringing them back to life. He says that he's been soaking their blood using his own underwear for. some reason. Again, joke, but also like...that's some dedication right there.

The next time we see Medic is when he's tending to Demo's wounds. Again, small talk ala Meet the Medic. Medic is catching Demo up on all of the drama. He STILL BRAGS ABOUT BRINGING SNIPER TO LIFE HERE TOO. I genuinely forgot how many times this man brings up Sniper's revival. Oh my god I know that you're proud of bringing the bushman back to life but it's so comical seeing him constantly bring it up like: "Yeah!! And I was super cool and smart and able to do it, ja?" He's so silly.

More jokes here about Medic being able to replace Demo's eye, but because of Monoculous he can't keep it forever. Not much to comment on other than Medic is still rather dismissive of his procedures perhaps causing others genuine distress. Also, him just doing random things for no reason, like scooping out part of Demo's brain because he just got exhausted of hearing Demo ask for his eye back. Also implanting a brain into his leg because he just wants to see what happens. What a goofball.

Something to note is how Medic isn't really intimidating at all during these comics. Evil? Sure, but he's not exactly a looming figure who makes you quiver in your boots. He's casual, silly, and just kinda does what he likes to do. It makes me think about all the art of him with his hands clasped behind his back and with a creepy and unsettling expression. Looking at how Medic is shown in the MtM video and comics? He's...not really like that.

Then, Cheavy reappears. Something to note is that Cheavy doesn't call Medic by his name (or title I should say), but rather by nicknames (and slurs). Frankenstein is his most common one. Medic wouldn't like that.

Again, headcanons, but I think Medic and Cheavy bumped heads a lot considering how hostile Cheavy is to Medic. Because of this, Medic would despise Cheavy more than anything. What's worse than an annoying nagging beast of a person is one that won't even acknowledge his greatness and sees him as little more than a pest that Gray brought on cause they needed a Medic.

So, Medic attacks Cheavy. He reaches for his bonesaw, slashes him across the face before stabbing him in the abdomen. Revenge for killing Archimedes. But, Cheavy survives, reefing the blade out of him and then going out for blood. They both fight before Heavy interrupts.

Blah blah nothing too notable. Medic is a little bit of a sopping wet cat here. He's scared of Cheavy. By all means, he was previously being choked out by him, but c'mon Medic get your shit together bite his ankles. (/j /lh)

Heavy for?? Some reason throws aside Sasha because Cheavy wanted a "good death"?? I know it's coinvent for the plot since it gets Sasha out of the way so that Cheavy can kill Medic and piss off Heavy even more, but still. Maybe I need to do another analysis piece for Heavy to see if he's the type of guy to care about this, but I doubt I could drag it out nearly as long as this.

Regardless, Medic is shot and killed. He's then sent to hell. YAY!!!

FINALLY back to some interesting new Medic characterization. Medic has made a deal with the devil. What for? We don't know. Whatever works best for your fanfic. It doesn't matter what he sold his soul for in this scene though, as Medic is now damned to hell for everything. Oh no!

Until...a loophole. He reads the fine print and points out that the contract says that his soul is only owed to the devil if they own the majority stake in it. Well, Medic just so happened to have grafted eight more souls into him. 100% from the other mercs as he confirms later on, but again, he's just like that.

So Medic has zero qualms about stealing the souls of his teammates. Pretty much in line with what we know about him thus far.

He convinces the devil to sell another one of his souls so that he can go back to earth. In exchange? One of the pens on his table. He acts all surprised and shocked when the devil accepts, clearly revelling in his victory, before then being brought back to life.

If I may break away from the analysis for a bit and go into rambling: I do think Medic should've been slightly more unhinged here. By slightly I mean feral beast of a man, but y'know. Headcanons that alter and shape the way I see him, so I look at this scene and go: "He would NOT be that normal after tricking the devil and seeing the man who killed him" but it is what it is.

Then, the scene we all know and love. Medic toots his horn a little bit as he monologues about planting the uteruses into Cheavy, having him believe that the pen will activate the birthing process and three baboons will explode out of him. Again, he's enjoying himself. He likes seeing Cheavy being scared and afraid.

But, it's all a ploy, and Heavy tears the life-extending machine out of Cheavy. Heavy and Medic reunite, Medic finds the actual inductor and grabs his new baboon child, and...yeah that's the end of the comics. Uneventful, eh?

Conclusion

So, what a character, huh? I like him a little, can't you tell? Props if you actually managed to sit through this mess of an essay. It's mostly just for personal use and reference anyway. Writing about a character and taking notes helps me learn, and I just wanted to try doing something proper, y'know? I've only been writing about Medic for over a year now.

He's a bit of a mixed bag of traits and characterization. You can probably grab the parts that make up the core of his personality plus a couple other traits and then probably shape it into a rough form of who Medic is. It's how I think I write about him, to be honest.

The way to write Medic I feel is just trying to make sense of all of these little bits of character tossed at you, cause, yeah, you call say all these things, but how do you make it work? How do you make a character out of it? How do you rationalize all of these things being possible all at once?

Honestly? It's through trial and error. Soon enough you'll figure it out. Just keep in mind of what his character is. Look at his dialogue and thought process. Would he fucking say that? Would he fucking say it differently? So on and so forth.

Everyone can interpret him differently. Some may look at the things I say and will rebuttal that I'm giving him too much credit. Perhaps he's lying about certain things and is just manipulating them all. That's fair. It's perfectly valid. 

Medic is a comedic character first and foremost. Everything he says and does is meant to be funny. It's just that diseased fanfic writers like me have to overanalyze everything cause we're writing gay yaoi melodrama about murderers. A character who just constantly lies and manipulates I find isn't one I really want to make a protagonist out of, so I don't do it.

So, how do I write him? Well...

I take the aspects that I find most central to him. There's a lot, but I'll list the ones most imporant. His eccentricity is a core part of my enjoyment of him, so I cram it into him as much as physically possible. He's a giggly madman who unabashedly does what he likes to do. Him being apathetic to ethics as well is vital. He clearly does not give two shits about whether or not any of this is legal or moral. He does what he wants to do.

His ego is another big part. He loves attention and he loves being with people who think of him as some smart, grand guy. He's got a complex and has a constant need for others to validate him. If anybody tries taking him down a couple pegs, he lashes out.

That's another thing as well: his emotions. I think Medic wears his emotions on his sleeve and doesn't care to hide them. He's blunt, says exactly what he means regardless if it's nice or not, and generally could not care less over what is socially appropriate. If he doesn't care about a person, he won't make a single effort to even pretend to be interested in what they're saying. If he's excited, he'll laugh and make it known to everyone just how happy he is. Blah blah blah, you get it.

His mood swings and constantly shifting attitude is another thing too. All six of his emotions (neutral, afraid, happy, irritated, unbridled mania, overwhelming hatred and anger). It's easy for him to shift between them very rapidly and whatnot. All that sorta stuff.

The original characterization and voice lines I believe still hold water. I personally like interpreting them as coming from a place of genuine frustration that he only has when fighting. He's an emotional person who snaps and yells and gets annoyed and agitated very easily. His mood fluctuates between mania and seething hatred when fighting. I think it's as to be expected. He's on a battlefield. If you like respawn machine stuff, then it's implied that he's died numerous times and is completely sick of it, lashing out at his teammates for not protecting him.

There's several more aspects of Medic's character to which I write about in my own works, namely him being neurotic about constantly being in control, him being outwardly hostile to people he doesn't know and more close and caring to ones that he likes, and him generally being a lot more fond of his own team than he'd like to admit, but that's all sorta fanon stuff. Only I really care that much about it.

With that being said, Medic is one of the characters ever. Truth be told, this would've been less infuriating to write than, say, a Soldier analysis piece. Writing about my silly goofy middle-aged murderer is nice sometimes.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to stop procrastinating and get back to my fics.

#tf2 #sp-rambles #tf2 medic #I would genuinely be shocked if somebody read this affront to mankind

[apompkwrites]

the betrayal of a god || scaramouche

masterlist characters: scaramouche (platonic) genre: angst contains: spoilers for chapter 3 act iii, scaramouche spoilers, character death, injuries summary: how did things end up this way? how did you go from his beloved sibling to nothing more than a corpse? notes: speedwriting this before the next update comes out >:))) maybe will rewrite as a separate part when it comes out?? we'll see :D also, side note, i like how a lot of you seemed to hope for a good ending for (name)? >:)) you thought wrong~ parts: [the making of a god (1)] || [the betrayal of a god (2)] || [the loss of a god (3)]

the rage that bubbled in scaramouche's body was intense, the feelings coursing through his veins into the mechanical body that was his god form. the traveler darted around effortlessly despite their injuries, which only fueled the anger.

"just die already!" his voice bellowed and echoed throughout the sanctuary, nahida's quiet sobs doing the same, albeit almost silently. the traveler didn't respond with words. instead, they dashed forward to try and pry at the god's body. scaramouche only growled, swiping at the blond(e) with his hand.

"traveler!" nahida cried out as the adventurer skidded across the ground. scaramouche cackled at this, his body towering over the one person who dared stop him.

"how sad," he mused, his body creaking as it moved closer. "the poor little traveler that celestia smiles down upon... will be reduced to nothing but a splatter of blood and guts under my hand."

and with that, scaramouche slammed his fist into the ground. nahida screeched, her small hands banging against the orb surrounding her. the traveler's body, beaten and bloodied, fell into the hole that was created by the attack. paimon screamed their name, falling down into the sanctuary with them.

they let out a quiet groan, shakily pushing their body up from the ground. it was dusty, they noted, the supposed basement of the building containing various objects.

medical equipment was the best way to describe them. tubes and pipes were strewn on the ground, most likely broken prototypes of the ones that held scaramouche in his body. a large box was rolled off to the side, the opening dripping some sort of liquid, as if it were emptied not too long ago.

but what caught the traveler's eye, what made their heart drop to their stomach, what burned itself into their brain for them to dream about at night, was a body.

a body that hung limp in the air, its arms held up by straps that seemed to be attached to the ceiling. its mouth hung open ever so slightly. its clothes were reminiscent of inazuman fashion, albeit the white was now stained to a pink color that barely complimented the light purple accents.

the traveler could only hope the body moved. but it didn't.

over the countless hours they put into adventuring, they had seen their fair share of bodies. they saw human bodies, they saw hilichurl bodies, they saw mitachurl bodies. and the one thing they all had in common was that they didn't move, indicative of the loss of life.

and that was the same for this body.

it was human, yes, but there were the little inconsistencies that made them quite the opposite.

no blood poured from its various gaping wounds, especially the one on its chest. in addition to that, the wounds it had practically carved on its body revealed, not guts, but the other side of the room as if the traveler were only looking through a hole in the wall.

and what unnerved them the most were the eyes. or lack thereof. what stared back at the ground as the body's head lolled to the side, were empty eye sockets. simple black voids were what remained, no red muscle or veins to be seen. it looked as if it were nothing but--

"a doll..." the traveler gasped, managing to limp over to the corpse.

"they were one of the two byproducts of the shogun... those two... are somewhere, i'm sure of it," ei reminisced, mindlessly floating in plane of euthymia. "dolls that were to serve as its prototype."

the telltale marking of electro was barely visible since a large hole took most of its place. paimon let out a shriek, the sound echoing out and up into the main floor of the sanctuary.

"ah," the god breathed as its head peered into the hole. "you're still alive? how dissappoint--"

and, as if a switch had flipped in the god, no, scaramouche's brain, the body fell silent. it merely disappeared back onto the upper floor.

only for a majority of the ceiling, or rather the floor, to be ripped up from its foundation, allowing the large robot-like god to stare down at the traveler like a child at a doll house.

"...no," the word was strained, the most amount of human emotion that traveler had ever heard from him. they were used to the anger he hissed, the rage feeling the slightest bit human. but this was it. the most human sound they had ever heard from the manmade god.

anguish.

"no, no, no," scaramouche cried, the god's hands moving past the traveler to rip the body out of the straps. "no, no, no, no, (name)..." he seemed to sob as he held his hands up to his (the god's) face. it opened upwards like a door, allowing the real scaramouche, the controller, to be seen by the traveler, paimon, and nahida. "(name)... what did he do to you...?"

the body seemed to slump in his hands like a doll. they slumped over the way he always imagined they would if they were... no, no that's not it. they're just asleep! they must have been so lonely. oh, so lonely in that wretched basement.

"(name)," he sniffled, holding out his hands. yes, his hands. not the god's, but his. the god's hands moved closer to scaramouche, allowing him to grasp onto his beloved sibling's arms. he pulled them close, their body holding no resistance as they began to float in the subspace created in the god's head. one of scaramouche's hands moved to lay on their back of their head, cradling it close and pressing their face to the space between his shoulder and neck.

oh, what he would give to feel any sort of life in their body.

"i... i'm so sorry," scaramouche sobbed, the god's face shutting on them, leaving the traveler with the very god they had been fighting for the past couple of minutes (or was it hours?).

now, secluded in the subspace made to mimic their mother's plane of euthymia, scaramouche allowed himself to revert. not to the god, not to the balladeer, but to kunikuzushi.

in the subspace, it was just kunikuzushi and (name), two dolls abandoned by their creator, by their first friend, by their youngest "sibling".

and now, it was just kunikuzushi, who abandoned (name) in his desire to become a god.

the fourth to betray us... was me. it was i who abandoned and betrayed them for godhood.

godhood that i had pled to the doctor for to protect the one person i wanted no betrayal to befall.

and yet... i betrayed them in the end, didn't i?

taglist: @rainys-personal-garden @atsuki-mitsuri @tuskaruska @crxwned-mxnarch @angryhope @quintessentialdreaming @unknown-kitsxne @yu-rylee @local-mr-frog @justreadings @shizunxie @nothing-leave-me--alone @boba-is-a-soup @astro-pioneer

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact angst #genshin angst #genshin impact scaramouche #genshin impact scaramouche x reader #genshin scaramouche #genshin scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x reader

[injuryprompts]

how would you go about treating a sword through the abdomen?

Heyyy, I am so sorry for the long response time! I would not be surprised if you've forgotten about sending this in the first place.

To answer your question it's important to know if the sword is a through and through or not. Because you said "through" i'm going to treat it as such.

Then it's important to know if 911 is available. Because most sword wounds happened pre-emergency services, i'm going to write it like you'd 100% treat it yourself. Otherwise step 1 would be: call 911.

IF ANYTHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS IRL, ALWAYS CALL THE EMERGENCY NUMBER AND DO AS THEY SAY. THIS IS FOR FICTIONAL USE ONLY.

Now for the treatment of a stab wound to the gut:

First and foremost, DO NOT PULL OUT THE SWORD until you're ready to deal with the bleeding.

Step 1: Make the stabbed person lay down. Because the stab wound is probably front to back, make them lay on their side. This reduces the risk of falling after the adrenaline stops. Which could cause more damage, think head trauma, or disturbing the sword making the wound worse.

Step 2: Remove the clothing around the wound. This gives better access to assess the damage done and get a clear working area.

Step 3: Put on gloves. Easy to forget, but it lessens the chance of infection in the wound. If you can't at least wash them as thoroughly as possible.

Step 4: Prevent bleeding. Severe blood loss will cause shock or worse death. So any blood that can stay inside, should stay inside. If the sword hit a (major) artery the person could die within a minute when the sword is pulled out. WHICH IS WHY YOU LEAVE IT IN FOR AS LONG AS POSSIBLE.

Arterial Bleeding: The blood will be SPURTING out. It will be a bright red color.

Venous Bleeding: The blood will be oozing out. The blood will be a darker color.

Capillary Bleeding: The blood will slowly come out. It will eventually stop on its own.

To prevent bleeding, apply pressure. You can still apply pressure when the sword is still through the body. Just put pressure around the blade from both sides. and since the knife went through. pressure on 4 sides basically. Be careful not to move the blade too much as you do this.

Chest wounds should be sealed with a credit card/plastic bag/duct tape etc, that sticks on 3 sides, leaving it so air can go out but it cant go in. This helps prevent a collapsed lung.

Step 5: Remove the sword. Get ready to put real pressure on it as soon as the blade is pulled out, because it will probably start gushing. If its not that bad, you can wait until it stops. If not, the wound will need to be sealed/stitched. Now the abdomen has a lot of nasty things called organs in it. Lets hope we missed all of those, because if not, intestine contents can do horrible things to the rest of your body.

Close the Wound Under These Circumstances:

The wound is large and refuses to stop bleeding

The wound penetrated through the entire skin (you’d be able to see underlying tissues)

The wound has been open for less than 6 hours

The wound is over a joint or moving part of the body and won’t close by itself

The wound is gaping open and won’t be able to close without your intervention

You close a wound only when it's dry, preferably with butterfly bandages or adhesive tape, (sutures only by profesionals or in dire circumstances). Or if you want to go for dramatic, cauterization as absolute last resort.

Open or closed, it's now time to cover the wound. You should first use any form of antibacterial treatment, preferably conventional medicine, but if you don't have that, use honey. Its antibacterial too. Then you can cover the wound with a bandage, make sure to change it every so often for a clean one. Every 12 to 24 hours.

Open wounds should be covered by wet dressing. Closed with dry. Make sure to pack around the puncture wound. If you can't find sterile bandages you can boil rags before using them.

ENDING THIS WITH: I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. ONLY USE THIS INFORMATION FOR FICTIONAL PURPOSES. IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN A SITUATION PLEASE CALL YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY NUMBER. THEY WILL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.

#ask #asks #stab wound #wound care #injury whump #writing inspiration #whump #whump writing #whumpblr #whump community #caretaking

[deramin2]

Charts For Assessing Pain And Fatigue

As a person with chronic pain and chronic fatigue, I often find it helpful to use scales to communicate how I'm doing, both for myself to contextualize it and so others have an idea how I'm doing. It's especially helpful for doctors who take you more seriously when you have data.

But I'm really bad at just assessing it in my head, especially consistently. Internalized ableism means I always feel like I'm just being a wimp and I really minimize my pain. So assessment scales that make me look at my behaviors really help break me out of that and be more honest. They also keep me more consistent so the days is more useable.

Both scales in a spreadsheet

Pain Scale

This scale was given to me in a hospital with no indication of where it came from in a really basic badly formatted table. This is my cleaned up version formatted to be saved on a phone or printed.

0 - No Pain - Pain free

2 - Minimal - Pain is barely noticeable; tightness

3 - Mild - Feel a low level of pain entering awareness only when my attention is devoted to it

4 - Uncomfortable - Pain is troubling but can be ignored most of the time; am able to continue activities

5 - Moderate - Moderate pain but no break in activity or concentration; guarded movement patterns

6 - Distracting - Pain is troubling and breaks through concentration but is tolerable; activity level changes.

7 - Distressing - Pain is intense and preoccupies my thinking; can complete tasks but it is difficult and must cease some demanding activities; considering pain medication or other pain reducing agent.

8 - Intense - Severe pain that makes concentration difficult; can do only non-demanding activities; taking pain medication, etc. Can't carry on a conversation well, pacing , etc.

9 - Severe - Cannot concentrate on anything else; sweating, unsteady breathing, can do almost nothing. Can barely talk.

10 - Immobilizing - Excruciating pain, constant; unable to move.

Fatigue Scale

This was floating around Tumblr in the colorful version. I can't print it, I can't read it with the colors when I'm tired, and I wanted the scales to normalized going the same direction so here's my formatting version:

0 - Not tired at all.

1 - Slightly tired, but still able to carry on as normal with little to no difficulty.

2 - Finding everything more effort than usual, but still able to carry on.

3 - Tiredness makes it hard to enjoy activities that are usually fun, but still able to work or study (with some difficulty).

4 - Possibly able to do some work or studying, depending on how much effort it takes. May choose to work or study from home. Avoiding activities that take a lot of energy.

5 - Mostly unable to work or study (except low effort tasks that can be done from home) can go out (for example to buy food) but only if essential.

6 - Too tired to go out, but still able to move around the house and do activities that require little energy and focus. Preparing a meal is difficult. Can't work or study.

7 - Doesn't need to lie down and can walk around the house, but can't stand for more than a few minutes without resting. Finding it hard to eat some foods. Can't focus on anything easily.

8 - Able to sit up for a while and walk around the house if absolutely necessary. Unable to eat most food. Holding a conversation is difficult.

9 - Able to sit up for a short time and can walk short distances (with difficulty), e.g. to get a drink or go to the toilet. Can't eat.

10 - Can barely sit up. Needs assistance getting out of bed.

Sources

I don't know where either of these came from originally or who to credit, but I'd like to. (Normally I wouldn't repost people's work but the public benefit here outweighs those concerns for me.) Please reblog if you do and I'll edit it in. I just want them available to more disabled people.

#disability #pain scale #fatigue scale #chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #spoonies

[fantasy-relax]

Please just love her

Part 2

@crispyfriedchikem sorry my brain wanted fluff.

Bela prepared everything the week that were going to discharge you, a hotel room was not enough if you were going to rest, so she bought a small house to live in until you got better, her savings were more than enough to pay for it.

You were sleeping less, your medication doses were reduced as the days went by. The doctor said that slowly introducing you into your life was the best thing to do, so that's what she did.

"You entered the theater course for a while bu- " she stopped when she see you frown and grab your chest as if you wanted to rip out your heart. Fear made her break out in a cold sweat. Did your memories come back? Was your love for Cassandra that strong?

"Mc, are you okay? Shall I call the nurse?" Don't hate her, don't hate her, she will beg in her knees please dont leave her.

"No need, I just felt... A wave of misery and loneliness, God, it must have been a horrible experience for the mere mention of it to provoke such a reaction in me. Can we skip it?"

You are the one who decided to avoid the topic. She only fulfilled your wish. Liar

"There was an accident that left you unable to act and other unpleasant situations were the reason for you to leave, after that you decided to enter a club on the advice of my sister Daniela who was your roommate and is a friend of yours"

"Roommate?"

"Yes, she and Angie, my cousin, were your roommates, they were both worried sick when I told them about you accident, my aunt Donna and I had to stop them from coming because they are in the middle of exams and their grades arent the best"

"They sound like an incredible duo." The tiredness in your voice announced that it was time to let you sleep"

She smiled at you.

"They are"

—----------------------------------------

With house already furnished, now she had to deal with what she had been avoiding, telling Daniela and Angie about your new condition. She hadn't called them yet, too busy with preparations for your Care. Liar

How was she going to convince them to follow her lie?

Taking a deep breath she calls her youngest sister. What about the other one?. Daniela answer quickly.

"Shut up this is important, Bela! What happened is everything alright?!"

"They are already awake, there are still some bruises and her shoulder has not yet healed, but the most important thing is the damage to her memory... she has no memories about these two years"

"What? She doesn't remember us or Cassandra?"

"They only remembers the moment they went to the theater, nothing more, they don't remember you, Angie, Cassandra or me, they do remember anything that happened in these two years and when I tried to tell them about the theater and Cassandra they had a bad reaction, it seems that while they don't have memory of the event, part of them must remember the emotions they went through... They asked me not to talk about it."

"If they react badly it's better to avoid it, we don't want to stress them out when they're still healing."

"Yes, that's what I thought too"

"...Cassandra has called you?"

"No, and you?"

"Me neither... Look the exam period is almost over, after preparing everything we will go to see you, are you going to stay in london?"

"I don't want to risk traveling with them in that state, I already bought a house and fixed it up"

"And you will be their loyal nurse... Bela you must stop torturing yourself like this."

"I do not know what you're talking about"

"We'll talk more when I'm there, take care, I love you, sis"

"I love you too"

Coward

--------------------—-------------------

After telling you about the adventures you had with your roommates (or at least the ones she knew about) the topic of your conversations change to one she wanted to avoid a little longer.

"How did we meet?"

Despite of the Anxiety that drown her remembering how you came into her life, the blonde couldn't help but smile.

"Well, I was on my way to the student council when I ran into you. You were going to check out the clubs but you stopped to help me carry some books to the library and you ended up making them fall"

"Hey I just wanted to help!

"It was completely unnecessary since I had everything under control"

"Seriously, if you had everything under control why did they fall?"

"Because you get in my way!

"Well, what did you want me to do? If a Roman Goddess needs help, of course I'm going to offer to help!"

"Huh!?

"I'm just a poor mortal after all, darling."

....Have you always been this flirtatious? She knows you can be quite playful when you arent in one of your bad days but she doesn't knew that flirty side of you. Cassandra does

"I'm Romanian, not Roman, I think you need to sleep, rest"

"How cruel the Romanian gods are, abandoning their faithful believers, oh my poor heart!"

"REST MC"

--------—

They finally released you from the hospital and the joy of seeing you out of the medical gown and in her clothes made the blonde forget a little detail.

Your hygiene.

More precise, bathing.

The shoulder that was pierced was that of your dominant arm. It still wasn't completely healed so you needed some help.

Le naiba

Now sitting next to the bathtub preparing the water for your bath, her mind kept reproaching her for her actions.

How lucky are you, right? Now you can enjoy their naked body freely.

She's not going to look more than necessary.

Why not?

She is not depraved.

You stole your sister's partner.

...

And you have made them believe that both of you are married.

....

What could be more depraved than that?

"Is the water ready, dear? I would really like to have a hot bath."

She almost jumped to the roof, deep in thought, she didn't hear you enter.

"y-yes"

"Can you help me with my clothes, pretty girl?"

How lucky you are Judas.

Her hands shake and her face grows redder with each piece of skin that is revealed to her. Placing her hand on back while looking away from your body, she helps you get into the bathtub.

" Do you need anything else? "

"No, I think I can take care of it myself, I'll call for you if I need anything. Go to the kitchen, it looks like you're thirsty."

God, you're such a little shit.

Her face turns redder when she hears your laughter.

---

"Bela, a little help please!"

Leaving the ingredients for the food aside and cleaning her hands, she heads to the bathroom, where you wait naked, because you bathed naked and she helped you to undress...

Where did her intellectual language go?

Taking a deep breath she opens the door, the blush appearing violently again on her face as she looks at you.

"Do you think you can take me to bed, honey?"

WHAT?

"I'm tired, you left me alone"

"You told me you could do it yourself!"

"You hurt my feelings now hold me as an apology"

"Ugh!" The blonde raised her hands to the sky asking for patience. And strength to not fall into lust.

"I'm jo-huh!"

Your words were interrupted when you found yourself in her arms. Now she wasn't the only one with a red face.

"Do I weigh anything for you?"

"It's like carrying a sack of grapes"

Doing her best to ignore your naked body in her arms she headed to the room where you would both sleep.

Placing you delicately on the bed, she walked away from it to look for a towel and clothes, feeling your gaze full of admiration and amazement.

Finding what she was looking for she proceeds to help you dry and change smiling she remembers the first time she carried you.

---

It was one night that you stayed in the student council with her reviewing some documents. Your eyebags consumed your face slowly and she knows is not all because of your work with her.

"You should go to sleep, you can continue working tomorrow"

"Look who says it, resident workaholic, as soon as I leave you will do your paperwork and then mine"

" I am used to"

"And I can get used to it too"

"Stop being so stubborn and go to sleep!"

" Make me!"

"Fine!"

"Huh!?

The blonde had thrown you over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes and she began walking towards the door, leaving the documents on the council table.

"BELA! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!

"Making you go to sleep"

It was after one in the morning so the path to your bedroom was thankfully empty.

"This is harassment, you are harassing me!"

The president of the council ignores your complaints and with her free hand knocks on the door, a few minutes later Angie opens the door. Bela takes you off her shoulders and holds you by your armpits like a scolded cat.

"Home delivery"

The younger blonde snaps out of her surprise and starts laughing out loud.

"This isn't funny Angie! They're holding me against my will, defend me!"

"Angie, what happened?... HAHAHAA"

Daniela joined the blonde's uncontrolled laughter.

"Enough!" You move your leg to stomp at the floor ... But your feet didn't reach the ground... Now it was easy to notice the difference in height between you and Bela.

"With your permission"

Your roommates only laughed at your situation. They even opened the bedroom door giving free passage to the eldest.

She put you gently on the bed when you grab her arms suddenly and make her laid on top of you, crossing your arms and legs around her body.

"Mc, let me go"

"No, you took away my dignity, your punishment is to be my blanket"

" You know that I can escape easily?

"If you do I will be angry with you"

"I'm shaking with fear...seriously the papers were left on the table"

"Tomorrow's problem..."

The tiredness in your body won. You were asleep fast.

Bela could have left.

She should have left.

Cassandra is your girlfriend she should be the one in your arms.

The Romanian closes her eyes and lets the beating of your heart lull her.

Cassandra's not here.

Bela is.

-----

"Bela?"

She comes out of her memories when she hears your voice.

"Do you need anything else?"

"Could you tell me how we ended up together?"

#resident lover #bela dimitrescu #My work

[oleanderblume]

Hey I'm healing from top surgery so I'm gonna masterwork the stages of healing I've been experiencing cause people are always leaving shit out :D

• You will sleep. Often.

So, basically after I got my surgery done, I had a whole concoction of medication and all of it knocks you the *fuck* out. If you fight it, you're simultaneously fighting God. That being said, take it. It's made to make your existence more bearable. Because if you're Top Surgery came with liposuction, like mine did, wherever you had liposuction will hurt. So just count on doing just about fuck all during that first week.

• You will need help, accept it.

And I mean with things you don't think you should need help with. Yes, getting tall things, but also in that first week and ESPECIALLY the first couple of days post op, you might even need help getting out of bed, opening doors.

The general rule here is you can't life anything over 15lbs, but *really* it's "you can't do anything where you can feel your stitches pulling" which is basically everything sans going to the bathroom. For me, the hardest thing was being so in need of assistance, that I legitimately couldn't lift my torso up enough to get out of bed, I figured it out after day 3 though.

• You will probably have to have drains, get over it. And yes. They suck, but for a specific reason.

Everyone talks about how shitty drains are, but I've never heard them say *why* drains suck because they hurt after a period of time. Usually around end of week 1, and for me, all of week 2. By week 2, I legitimately wanted to Rio these Fulkerson out.

But I wanted to rip them out because of a bunch of reasons.

1. They werr placed in a way where i couldn't see them and had limited access to the insertion site, closer to my back than my side. This made it very hard to deal with near the end for reason 2.

2. They fucking itch, and if they don't itch, they legitimately hurt. (This is why that pain medication is helpful imo.) The insertion site has loose stitches keeping the drains in your body, and your skin eventually wants to heal around it, now imagine constantly itching and/or aching, in a place you can't touch or even fucking see— constantly.

3. It's kind of gross. This wasn't a big issue for me. I have a morbid curiosity (I wanted to take a video of my sister pulling out my drains bit they didn't) but for folks who don't like the idea of having to pour out your body juices to measure and record, that can be squicky.

4. Fucking dogs. Dogs and quick movements, especially of other people is the MOST terrifying, because I was constantly afraid of pur dog jumping up and tearing those fuckers out of my body.

Now I'm gonna talk about the actual healing process and how that feels.

Week One— The least painful, but most disabling.

The first couple of days, I was essentially entirely reliant on my sister. I couldn't go to the bathroom without her help to get out of bed. At this time, you still have the anesthesia in your system so you can't feel a whole lot, other than gravity, and you're still pretty sleepy. It's advised to get up Avery few hours to shuffle around, but honestly, taking a nap is all you'll want to do.

Of course, the sitting up rule still holds, you can't really lay flat on your back, and you won't want to, because it's hard to fucking get up without help.

As far as pain goes, you don't feel much in the actual surgery site. Some surgeons include additional liposuction (this method is used to reduce the liklihood of dog ears or excess skin from the procedure itself)

^^^this will be the most painful thing during the first week^^^

It's because you get a lot of bruising, both external and internally when you have liposuction and it causes a lot of aching. The ache will gradually fade around the week 1 end, especially if you heal well from bruising you might have some numbness left over, but likely not from the liposuction. Those bits will be tender. You'll be given (or have bought) a compression garment that will come in very handy. It's not the same as a binder in that it's much easier to remove. The tightness won't be as restrictive, and it will help with liposuction healing and keeping your gauze in place. This is made to be worn basically 24/7 with exception of showers and washing. It *will* chafe, and you *will not* feel it. Prepare for that.

You can't physically do much of anything during this week, I couldn't open or close heavy doors, grab anything heavier than maybe 5 lbs, and most definitely not reach for anything. As mentioned, I couldn't lift my own ass out of bed, so I definitely couldn't drive. They *say* you can drive after the first 2 days. Don't. 1, you're probably on pain medication which knocks you put in about an hour of taking and 2, you're probably underestimating the strength and movement involved in using a steering wheel.

Over all, this is actually the easiest part of healing, pain wise. It's definitely the hardest if you don't have someone to care for you and help you during this time because you most definitely can't do it on your own.

Week Two— This one fucking SUCKS.

This is the week that the anesthesia has definitely worn off and you're running in pain medication. I was given a concoction of Gabapentin, Oxycodone, Diazepam, and over the counter Extra Strength Tylenol. Use them. Probably more than you think you should, honestly.

I had/have a very bad habit of not taking my pain medication as much as I should be because I'm low-key afraid of overdosing, but honestly. You won't overdose unless you take waaay too much of all your meds at once.

You'll still have to be sleeping sat up a bit, but you'll have significantly more mobility and strength— that doesn't mean you can over extend yourself. The 15lb rule still exists, and you don't want to extend your arms fully.

At this point, you'll be regaining feeling, it won't be a whole lot, but it comes in stages. (I'll go in depth near the end of the post)

This is when the drains become an aggravation. If you haven't had them taken out by end of week 1, week 2 you more than likely will, and up until then, they will get worse and worse to deal with.

For me, because of where they were placed, they were directly where I couldn't see them and couldn't fuck with them, but I laid on them every night, and of course, my skin was beginning to heal over the sutures, causing aching and unbearable itchiness. THIS is why you want to take your meds. In addition, remember how I mentioned the compression garment and the chafing? You're still wearing that. And if you haven't been closely watching your chafing, by week 2, you're made fully aware of it, because your under arms and sides will have gained feeling by then, and it will fucking hurt. Get band-aids. I have a stack of them up and down my sides where my drains were, and where I've chafed the most.

By your first week post op appointment, the surgeon has probably removed your gauze and any sutures covers for nipple grafts. They'll tell you how to do nipple and scar care. This varies from surgeon to surgeon, but I'll tell you about mine.

I had nipple grafts, so for week 1, I had little gauze squares on top of my nipples and sutures into my skin to protect them. At my post op those were removed and my nipples were covered in Vaseline and telfa paper. (It's basically a medical gauze covered in a plastic that easily sticks to moisturizing gels)

As for my actual top surgery scars, instead of having open sutures, I have my stitches, along side these sticky "brackets" they are plastic and run along my front and sides, except for directly under my nipples because of proximity. The plastic little brackets act as a tension that essentially pulls my skin together and keeps the stitches from stretching and forming wide scars. They fall off on their own once the skin has healed to the point that the tension isn't sufficient for them to keep sticking to my skin (they legit look like little plastic bridges and they are very satisfying swimming tools if you like running your fingers along the bumps they make under your binder) they also move over time, my two center ones have formed a triangle lol.

These brackets prevent me from having to do regimented scar care that some other folks have to post op, so I'd ask about them in your consultations :) you still have daily nipple moisturizing, and draining if you still have drains, but that takes a load off of the laundry list of shit you have to keep track of every day.

NOW FOR PAIN :D

You will be in pain. First it will be itching. The most annoying, persistent itching you have ever felt in your life, and you have to be incredibly care where it's coming from. This itching is actually normal. Itching is the lowest registry of pain your body has, and as you heal and your nerves regenerate, you will feel a variety of very weird things, but most definitely it will involve pain and itching.

Next will be what I'm gonna term "zingers" these are like spikes of tingly pain that you get in your chest, probably in your nipples the most. They don't really hurt, so much as just feel particularly strange and they are annoying too. Not everyone will experience this, and not necessarily both nipples or at this stage, it's highly dependent on how you heal and if you regain feeling in your nipples at all.

I was expecting myself to never regain feeling in my nipples again because of the type of surgery I had (double incision) so it took me by pleasant (and also awful) surprise.

Other weird sensations as your nerves begin regenerating are "hot/cold" and "inexplicable tightness" and of course, "let's ache".

•hot/cold is basically if you took IcyHot or Vicks Vapor Rub or any kind of menthol topical ointment and rubbed it all over your chest. It doesn't hurt, but it is very interesting. It only lasted about 2 days for me, but it was notable.

•inexplicable tightness is exactly as it says. It *feels* like your skin is being pinched, this also doesn't exactly *hurt* but it's not a particularly pleasant feeling. It's just your nerves waking up and going "Oh hey, I'm closer than I was to my neighbor than the last time I checked" it's more noticeable when standing and you feel compelled to hunch over a bit because it's sort of tricking you into thinking your skin will somehow rip open if you don't. At least, it does that for me lol.

• let's ache is also exactly what it's called. It's specifically (for me, mind you) a persistent and constant ache directly along my stitches, specifically the part that wasn't given brackets because of how close it is to my nipples. This is probably the only part of me that hurts not *just* because of nerve regeneration, but also because of increased movement and higher tension because j can't put brackets there. However, I do put scar tape there, which helps, if possibly only through placebo.

By far though, the most distracting pain will be from your drains, if you still have them in.

Medication does weird stuff to your sleep pattern and dreams— additional notes.

So, because I've only just ended my Week Two of post Top Surgery, I'm gonna talk about the weird shit that the medication does and it's major affects.

So, my prescription is 2 antibiotics, 2 pain pills, 1 anxiety med, 1 antinausea. I also have over the counter pain medication, but it's functionally useless right now.

My personal routine is wake up, take antibiotics, and take at least 1 of the prescribed pain meds. My oxy lasts 6 hrs, the gabas last 12. Both will make you sleepy and dizzy, and also give you weird fucking dreams and royally fuck up your sleep schedule.

So, if you've not noticed, you'll be sleeping a lot. You're in the process of healing, and your body literally won't let you stay awake for much longer than 3 or 4 hours in that first week. Later on, it gets much easier, and if your me and don't *want* to be unconscious 90% of the time, it becomes a toss up between "Do I want to take ineffective Tylenols and be awake but in pain the whole time? Or do I want to take effective prescribed pain meds and have to lie down for a nap in roughly an hour because I'm too loopy/mentally foggy to carry on a conversation?"

The prescription wins most every time lol. Soon, as a result, I sleep a vast majority of the time. I can technically stay up in spite of the medication, but it is *very* hard, and even harder if you're trying to be active. Gabapentin is longer lasting and stronger than my oxycodone, and it makes your head feel like it's full of cotton balls. It works fantastic for pain relief, but at the cost of precision motor function and focus.

It gets harder to walk and carry on a conversation because it's a sedative and you're actively fighting your body saying "go the fuck to sleep"

Other weird side effects from the drugs and the healing have are psychological and emotional!!

It's commonly said that post top surgery you can have depression, and I would say yes— but also no.

It's more of being at the mercy of wildly fluctuating emotions and how they manifest. Typically in the form of crying, I've noticed. But not necessarily depression as I'm familiar with it.

Now, this can be for more reasons than *just* medication, and it has no bearing, in my opinion on how one might truly feel about their operation. Some factors include whether or not you take testosterone.

Low testosterone is known to be a cause of depression in cis men, and it works exactly the same for trans men and people who take testosterone. Previous to your surgery, you'll be required to stop taking a lot of your medications, including T if you're on it. This massive dip in T can *definitely* contribute to feeling depressed post op, but for a lot of guys familiar with T, this is a kind of depression you can largely tell is artificial— because it goes away the next time you take your dose XD

Other things that affect your mood is of course, your own hormones. The human body runs on hormones, and our body having gone through invasive surgery like top surgery will of course put your body in overdrive to repair broken connections, and to do that, it releases hormones. Which, in addition to reaction chemically inside you for healing purposes, also are the things that literally control your emotions.

This, in combination with the medication you've been prescribed, and the medication you've had to delay taking, can have a major impact on your mood and mental health. It doesn't necessarily mean you regret getting top surgery (you would know if you did)

But it can manifest in fluctuating mood, how you respond to emotional or psychological stimuli, dreams, nightmares, and how subconscious fears may manifest in them and the occasional intrusive thought. Also you will probably cry. And probably a lot. Over stupid shit too.

Things I've cried over in the past 2 weeks.

Typing "things I've cried over in the past 2 weeks"

A 5 second clip of futurama

A 15 minute excerpt from a 3 hr video essay of a gay furry dating Sim I have literally never heard of or played.

Talking about crying or what I've cried about so far, even when no emotions are attached.

Thanking a person for talking to me.

A good hug

The fact I can't watch Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius.

A video essay about Wizards of Waverly Place.

A donut

That my brother helped me get cheerios down from the pantry because I can't reach that high right now.

My sister getting me curry

Curry in general (tearing up typing it right now)

Getting top surgery

As you can see, a lot of those are just weird shit to sob over for a solid 5-45 minutes.

I've also had a bunch of super weird dreams, and the biggest cause of that (aside from drugs and healing) is sleeping position and pre-existing conditions.

I have sleep paralysis, it's a chronic condition triggered by sleeping on my back, and unfortunately, when healing from top surgery, you have no choice but to sleep on your back for at least two weeks :D

So that's a thing to be wary of, if you deal with that.

Okay, that's all I got in terms of stuff that I haven't ever seen people talk about or even mention in regards to top surgery. So yeah.

Oh also, I have 2 (lightly used) GC2B tank binders to give away. One is trans pride colors, the other is a olive green. Size XL (ideal for folks with at least 38 C cup size) so if anyone is interested dm me :)

#transgender #trans ftm #ftm #trans pride #trans guys #trans masc #nonbinary #top surgery recovery #top surgery 👌 #top surgery tips

[kuriipi]

I need you guys to stop lying and pretending like all Lanthimos' movies are some form of high art.

The guy is literally every greek film bro that went to cinema school.

I do believe he genuinely believes he is revolutionising and combining the greek mythos with modern philosophical ideas. A harsh critic of the fickle and contradictory human nature. But that's where the problem mostly lies. He's not in the slightest bit subtle.

His earlier stuff is seriously just a bunch of pretentious one liners masked as some big profound truth.

"oh you don't like a killing of a sacred deer bcs you don't get the original myth" like no. I get it. And I also know that the greek myth wasn't really a much about divine punishment as it was about facing the reality of your actions. Agamemnon didn't want to sacrifice his daughter to stop the punishment that fell upon them all, after he had killed the sacred deer. He is forced to do it after outside pressure, forced to move past his denial and recognize that it is his only way of atonement. And then the gods still ultimately decide to save Ifigenia because after all she was faultless in all this.

Making "the killing" a medical malpractice is honestly brilliant. Agamemnon hadn't known it was Artemis' sacred deer that he had killed. He only found out after his punishment had already begun. Colin's character hadn't meant to kill the man either, hadn't known of his identity either. But this is as far as the briliance goes.

It is a deeply dark story about a man's desperate attempt to escape fate, to find a loophole, but ultimately it falls flat cause there is not an ounce of sympathy for the characters. You can't feel anything for them or their struggle because they are , intentionally, written so uncannily. Most if not all of Lanthimos' characters really lack the human element.

And although I get the thought and it really does work for a story on human connections like 'the lobster ". The unnatural and completely "un-human" way the characters are portrait adds more layer, a greater punch. Honestly it's extremely well fitted and executed. But for "the killing of a sacred deer" a story whose point really is about the despair, the cruelty of actions and events one is far too powerless to prevent it's...well I think it's a pretty terrible execution.

"you don't like the lobster because you simply can't see the point" Yes it's about society, everything is, it's about forced intimacy, the fear of loneliness, societal pressure and they way we would rather lie to ourselves and our potential partner if it meant we won't be alone. It's about dating for the sake of dating, about children being reduced to nothing more that accessories. About the reactionary solitude, the loners being just as cruel as the hotel enforcing the same strict rules but at the opposite direction. (It doesn't even matter if that is the actual point of the movie because if I talk long enough with enough buzzwords, throw enough ideas at the wall, you'll believe I know exactly what I'm taking about.)

And it's still not really that good.

The premise falls flat. The macabre aspect of being turned into an animal, if you fail at forming a connection, the horrifying depersonalisation, dehumanising the characters is hardly explored.

Ok fine, it was just the premise, just to set the scene (arguably it's the most interesting part of the story, but I digress.)

It's all about human nature. Yes, but it's nothing more than a cynics caricature of it.

But you see the loners are treated like animals but we see how they function and enjoy mundane things like shampoo and going to the mall, and are actually human. Yes me playing with my barbies at 10 had more depth than that. On other news water is wet.

The humans are complex, and actually human and also just as bad as the other humans isn't deep enough of a point to make me watch 2 hours of a stagnant film, and endure like five separate dialogs about ass fucking and masturbation. And how you need a partner to protect you from being sexualy assaulted (like from whom, if that's the case why not just simply turn the entire male population into animals, they seem to have ways of procuring children out of thin air so that doesn't seem to be a problem)

"You can't ask things like that. It's about philosophy and human nature not mechanics plot holes" yes but they're still part of a rather drawn out movie.. if he didn't want me to comment on the plot wholes he should've made the film one hour shorter and avoided them all together.

Like I'll be honest what annoys me the most in his films is the way he forces you to watch these scenes that can only be described as pretentious if not outright bad, that are so meticulously woven into the story. How deep how profound all sex is rape, humanity is cruel and uncaring, detachment is the bain of our modern society. I'm going to add 50 one liners about ass fucking because then it's just about sex, depersonalised. It's really not deep at all.

Like I'm so sorry that not wanting to watch Colin Farrel fuck a woman cosplaying as a corpse multiple times in a movie makes me unappreciative of high cinema. But I guess it is what it is.

(That said, his newer stuff is getting better at keeping up the engagement and evoking more sympathy for the characters. There is far more space to connect to them. The ending of "The favourite" let me feel the despair, the hopeless and absolutely miserable situation the characters found themselves in at the end of the movie.)

#movie critique #movie analysis #yorgos lanthimos #the lobster #the killing of a sacred deer #the favourite #art critique #movie critic #philosophy #greek mythology #greek myth

[amphoterrible]

some background information

What am I doing? Why, I'm re-watching House, M.D. as a whole-ass pharmacist and taking meticulous notes!

I’m only going to focus on when House, M.D. gets something about medication just wildly wrong. I’m not going to be like “why are the chest compressions so slow” or “would Chase really be inserting that temporary transcutaneous pacer at the beside wouldn’t they want to do that in the EP lab” or anything else along those lines. I am but a humble pharmacist.

Hydrocodone/acetaminophen (APAP), the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA), and the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA)

This is going to be interesting because House aired from November 16, 2004 to May 21, 2012 and there are two things that come to mind for me: 1) The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) asked drug manufacturers to reduce the strength of acetaminophen in combination acetaminophen products to 325 mg in 2011(1) and 2) hydrocodone combination products were still scheduled as schedule III by the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA).(2)  Hydrocodone combination products weren’t rescheduled to schedule II until 2014. Schedule III prescriptions are a lot easier to write and fill than schedule II prescriptions. A lot of the legal nuance varies by state and I am not going to read New Jersey pharmacy statutes, thank you very MUCH I barely passed every Multistate Pharmacy Jurisprudence Examination (MPJE) I’ve ever taken. Back to the Vicodin. So how am I going to know exactly what formulation of Vicodin House was consuming?

I really don’t care about the hydrocodone component of it. There is no ceiling to an opioid, it’s whatever the patient can tolerate it. (Well technically there is too much to give but you have to look at if the patient is used to taking opioids or not don’t just slam someone with 10 mg of IV Dilaudid you know what I’m saying.) And if they don’t tolerate it give them some naloxone. And patients with chronic pain can tolerate a lot of opioids. Was Vicodin an appropriate opioid for House? No! But it was less regulated! And the threat of liver failure is dramatic! But Oxycontin would make more sense – Wilson’s an oncologist, he would be prescribing it all the time! Cancer hurts! Antineoplastics hurt! Oxycontin was the most widely abused prescription opioid in the United States in 2004(3), right when House started airing. But no, it’s Vicodin. The writers chose Vicodin for a reason. I’m going to let the art flow over me. We’re sticking with Vicodin. Or, hydrocodone/APAP because Abbott isn’t paying me to do this.

I worked in an independent retail pharmacy my first year of pharmacy school (which was 2010 before I realized I do not have a poker face to deal with the general public and immediately started working in a hospital), and I vaguely remember there being way too many formulations of hydrocodone/APAP. Hydrocodone/APAP has a few brand names: Vicodin, Norco, and Lortab. I usually say Norco because it’s the easiest. (I actually say hydrocodone/acetaminophen because I’m an asshole.) I found this email(4) sent by Abbott in October 2012 that discussed the newly reformulated Vicodin®, Vicodin ES®, and Vicodin HP®, which is handy since it lists the old formulations too:

Vicodin®

Hydrocodone 5 mg/acetaminophen 500 mg

Vicodin ES®

Hydrocodone 7.5 mg/acetaminophen 750 mg

Vicodin HP®

Hydrocodone 10 mg/acetaminophen 660 mg

Who the fuck puts 750 mg of acetaminophen in one tablet? That limits the patient to five tablets in 24 hours. We’ve known the maximum dose of acetaminophen is 4000 mg since the 1970s. What the fuck, Abbott.

(Matthew Mercer Voice) How Do You Want To Do This?

So, like, I guess I’ll just count the tablets I see House consuming and then calculate the total daily dose of acetaminophen for each Vicodin formulation? I feel like I can do total acetaminophen dosage based on episodes versus trying to keep track of the days. The timeline of this show is wonky and like once you hit the toxic dose you’re there so? Also, sometimes he takes more than one and it’s hard to hear the tablets like, clink against his teeth or whatever. Sparkle on! We’ll do our best. I was going to put this in an Excel spreadsheet but I just remembered I am a pharmacist and I cannot function in Excel.

Let’s talk about the mechanism of liver toxicity and treatment of acetaminophen overdose if we hit significant toxicity. Wouldn’t it be funny if we didn’t?? That would result in me rambling about House M.D. for pages and pages and he doesn’t even get hypothetical liver failure. Is this fanfiction? Am I writing really weird fanfiction? Anyways significant toxicity occurs if you hit 150 mg/kg of acetaminophen.(5) How much does Gregory House weigh?? Let’s give him a range: 160-180 pounds (73-82 kg). Fairly average, actually. So House’s toxic dose of acetaminophen is likely 10,950 mg to 12,300 mg. Let’s say lower range is 22 tablets of Vicodin®, 15 tablets of Vicodin ES®, 17 tablets of Vicodin HP® and the upper range is 25 tablets of Vicodin®, 17 tablets of Vicodin ES®, and 19 tablets of Vicodin HP®.

References

Department of Health and Human Services. Food and Drug Administration. Prescription drug products containing acetaminophen; actions to reduce liver injury from unintentional overdose. Federal Register. 2011;76(10):2691-2697.

Seago S, Hayek A, Pruszynski J, Newman MG. Change in prescription habits after federal rescheduling of hydrocodone combination products. Proc (Bayl Univ Med Cent). 2016; 29:268-270.

Zee AV. The promotion of marketing of OxyContin: commercial triumph, public health tragedy. Am J Public Health. 2009;99:221-227.

Abbott. Newly reformulated Vicodin® launch announcement. https://www.uspharmacist.com/email/ecf1248.html. Accessed January 8, 2024.

Hendrickson RG. Acetaminophen. In: Nelson LS, Howland M, Lewin NA, Smith SW, Goldfrank LR, Hoffman RS, eds. Goldfrank's Toxicologic Emergencies, 11e. McGraw-Hill; 2019:486-499.

#house md #hate crimes md #house rewatch 2024 #I'm halfway through season 1 this is going to take A Bit #so please bear with me #but here's some background ramblings #I'll make a pinned post and have links to each season #so I am ~*~organized~*~

[edward-hydes-letters]

Dear Mr Hyde,

I hope that this letter finds you in good health and that all your current endeavours are succeeding for you. I thought it best to write to you as I've noticed something that I fear may be impacting your day to day life, and seeing as I have possible solutions for you, I think it is imperative that I present you these solutions so that you may not be affected so harshly by your... unfortunate circumstances. I know many people who are vertically challenged like yourself, and it pains me to watch them suffer through the ridicule they receive.

Option 1: Lift Insoles

Insoles can do more than just provide a bit of extra cushioning for your feet; they can alleviate pain, improve your posture, reduce the risk of injuries, and even boost your athletic performance! Couple this with the fact that you'll be gaining inches depending on the type you wear? I don't see a single downside! In fact, I have sent you a pair along with this letter so that you may try them out and see how you like them.

(Right enough, there is a pair of insoles in the envelope along with the letter. The letter continues.)

Perhaps you're looking for a more permanent solution, and I think that sounds perfectly understandable! As such, I present to you,

Option 2: Surgery

(There appears to be a diagram taped to this part of the letter. The amount of tape used gives the impression that the writer may or may not have robbed a newsagent before writing this letter.)

Now, I unfortunately am not a medical practitioner as of yet, and therefore I don't think I'm the right person to tell you about the risks or benefits associated with this. I do however think it's a viable option that is worth researching.

Perhaps you aren't comfortable with the idea of surgery either, perfectly understandable! And so I bring you the third and final option that my brain has come up with.

Option 3: Ridiculously high heels

My reasoning for this? It would both fix your height problem and let you feel stylish! I'm sure your high heels will have you picking up all the ladies (or gents!)

(There appears to be a poorly drawn winky face between this paragraph and the next.)

Best of luck with your condition. Get well soon!

Yours truly,

C. Sinclair.

WHAT-

(The harsh chicken scratch turns to cursive writing halfway down the page...)

I’m terribly sorry, but your letter currently has Hyde fuming. He’s yelling to burn the entirety of your letter, including the insoles. I’d advise to not bring up Hyde’s height anymore, Mx. Sinclair. I don’t believe my hearing can take many more of his outbursts…

-Dr. Henry Jekyll

#the glass scientists #tgs #tgs jekyll #tgs hyde

[penny-anna]

this is where I'm currently at w my dry eyes flare up:

current routine is eye ointment (oil based) morning + night, preservative free hylo-forte (sodium hyaluronate) drops as needed, carbomer gel also as needed but as sparingly as possible bcos it's not preservative free. I'm also doing 10 minute warm compresses 3-4 times a day.

I'm also using moisteriser around my eyes a lot + mild steroid cream twice a day due to skin irritation which I think is being caused by the volume of eye drops I'm using.

trying to transition to a preservative free carbomer drop as the carbomer is currently the only thing getting me any significant relief but the only brand I've been able to try so far (Ocufresh) is no good.

any eye drops that contain preservatives or aren't specifically marketed as high intensity/for severely dry eyes are no good rn, a lot of them make my eyes start stinging and burning. I've tried Systane Complete and Thealoz Duo this week neither of which offered any relief but I'm going to try and stick with the Thealoz drops a couple of times a day as they've got some extra meds in them.

I've ordered every other brand of preservative free gel drops I can find.

I've started taking antihistamines as it struck me that the current difficulties started around about the same time I stopped taking them for seasonal allergies so will see if that does any good. I've also just started taking fish oil supplements.

I've had my eyes examined by my regular optometrist (Specsavers unfortunately) and spoken to a different optometrist practice who have a specialist dry eye practice and have got some actionable advice that I'm following. Both optometrists have agreed that there's no sign of anything actively wrong with my eyes such as an infection.

I've dusted & aired out my whole flat and have ordered a humidifier but it won't arrive till tommorrow.

I'm reducing screen time as much as I can but due to being a full time hybrid office worker that essentially means I'm doing as little work at my job as I can get away with. I had to do a full 8 hours in front of the computer on Monday and it fucked up my eyes so badly that I didn't cover from it all evening.

I can currently manage maybe 10-20ish minutes in front of a computer before things start getting progressively more uncomfortable with the end result being blurred vision.

I've had flare ups of this severity or even worse in the past but usually it takes me maybe 2-3 days of stepping up my eye drops and doing regular warm compresses to get it back to a manageable level so the fact that this time it's been over a week with basically 0 relief is very very scary. I'm getting concerned about my job as I can't do full time office work if I can't use a computer & I have no other employment prospects.

the 20:20:20 rule isn't currently hugely helpful for me due to how dry my eyes get using a computer and I've been advised by an optometrist that I need to take full breaks at least once an hour.

absolutely exhausted & honestly can't tell if it's the fatigue I had previously flaring up or if I'm just That Stressed Out.

feel like I'll regret throwing this problem out for advice as asking for medical advice on tumblr never goes well but figure it's worth a shot in case I'm missing something obvious here!!

I'd ask that you don't reply if you haven't read all of the above ^ in case whatever you're suggesting is already mentioned & that you don't recommend things that work for you unless you also have severely dry eyes.

:'(

[thepenultimateword]

i know you just posted it, but part 2 of My Mistake?

Here’s a sandwich 🥪

*Monch* Thank you! 😊

Part One

CW: Medical supplies and drugs (sort of, their medical)

Villain swiped the packages of loose medical supplies to the van floor and settled Hero across the backseat.

The red and blue vigilante thrashed their head from side to side, sobs reduced to pathetic whimpers. Tears had a hard time escaping the confines of their mask, and growing wet spots darkened the fabric around their eyes a deeper shade of red and blue like a brightly colored raccon.

"Do you happen to be allergic to nitrous oxide?" Villain asked slowly.

Hero stared at them blankly from under half-lowered lids, still whimpering and hissing their breaths. Was anything even reaching at them at this point?

"Laughing gas?" they clarified anyway.

Their eyes cleared just a little. "I-I'm not..."

"Good. I'm going to give you a little, for the pain and the stress." Hero might have protested, but if they did, Villain didn't hear it. They were already in motion, sifting through medical supplies, ripping open packages, and hooking an oxygen mask to a nitrous oxide canister. Leaning back over Hero's wet, bloodshot eyes and barely contained agony, they realized something. "I'm going to have to remove your mask."

Villain caught the smallest of nods. Hero must be in so much pain. The thought made their hands tremble a little as they worked their thumbs beneath the chin of the mask and carefully folded it away. A shock of stubborn half-flattened curls poofed out to the sides as they were freed.

Villian wanted to throw up.

“Geez, Hero, how old are you? Like 20?” They wanted to sound lighthearted, but it struck despairing instead. It was also weird using that name for a stranger, but Villain wasn’t sure what else to call them.

Of course, Hero's only response was the muffled breathing through the oxygen mask. And Villain hadn't really been looking for an answer. In fact, they'd rather not have one. As they slammed the van door shut and moved around to the front seat, they decided, for their own sake, that Hero must only look young for their age. After all, there were age restrictions to hero debuts now. The courts had made sure of that due to complaints of endangering children and endangering civilians by putting them in charge. The rules were strict: you must be at least 25.

They hit a bump and more medical supplies--bandaids, gauze, suturing needles wrapped in plastic, etc--tumbled off the dash and skidded out from under seats.

“W-why do you have all this stuff?” Hero slurred with some difficulty. One hand hung off the seat, clenching and unclenching like a habit they couldn't stop.

"Because I used to be a doctor. Professionally."

What was the use in hiding it? It wasn't like the world didn't already know. Crazy Dr. [civilian name], turned to evil after an incident at an orphanage, malpractice on a hero, stripped of their honors. They shook the thoughts away just in time to swerve a left turn through a red light. The echoes of sick feelings lingered a little longer, but they ignored them. Now was not the time.

Villain swallowed the bitterness and continued. "Now I just get stuff from suppliers and do what I can for the people here in the back allies."

“Are you going to help me?”

It sounded so pathetic. So hopeful.

“No. No, I don’t know anything about burns. I’m taking you straight to your agency. They have a hospital for you heroes, right?”

“Mmhm.”

“Good. They'll take care of you. You'll be back out there in no time." It strained in their mouth, but hopefully, Hero was too drugged up to notice.

They turned the van up a gravel side street, and the gates of the agency slowly appeared over the ridge of the slope. Villain sped up.

They reached the black iron bars in a couple minutes. Villain thrust the car into park before they'd even come to a full stop, the gears grinding concerningly and the whole vehicle giving a sick jerk.

They kicked open the driver's door and dashed to the backseat, the door thunking a little too loud as they slid it back. They were about to gather the hero in their arms when they saw their mask discarded on the ground.

Villain snatched it up and tugged it snugly back in place. "There. Never happened. Got that?"

Hero nodded woozily. It was possible they hadn't even registered what Villan said.

"You don't need to mention anything other than that I tortured you and brought you here as a sick joke, ok?" Villain repeated, scooping Hero off the seat.

They weren't sure what the agency would do if they knew Hero's identity had been compromised, maybe nothing, but Villain wasn't taking chances. It wasn't like they recognized the kid anyway. It would be a waste if the agency let them go because of that.

It would be a waste if they never fought again because of what you've done.

Villain ignored the thought and pressed the buzzer on the gates.

"Hey!" they shouted, putting on their best sadistic villain voice at the click of someone picking up over the receiver. "I have your precious Hero here! Thought you might want them back. They're a little more banged up than when I found them, but still good, right? A toy is still a toy no matter how you break it."

"We have a security team on its way," a cold voice boomed from the speaker. "You have ten seconds to set them down and retreat or you will be terminated on sight. If you try to take them, you will be pursued."

Villain threw out a scoff before following the voice's directions, retreating into their van, and driving to the lip of the hill. They paused just before Hero was out of sight, assuring that the group of security heroes really did take them inside before sailing away at top speed from a few well-aimed bullets.

A wash of relief rushed over them. Hero would be ok. They would never see them again. At least not anytime soon. Once Hero recovered and the feelings of revenge had properly settled in, they might meet again on the battlefield, but it would be different then. Villain would know better than to strike so severely, and Hero wouldn't be so innocent anymore. They'd fight properly.

Or so Villain thought until four months later when Hero showed up on their doorstep with a box of assorted cookies and a limp.

Part Three

#did a little poll for this continuation #but it turned out as a tie #so I decided to push myself in the direction I rarely go #and try writing a platonic relationship #writing snippet #platonic villain and hero #heroes and villains #villain #creative writing #hero #fiction #heroes and villains community #superheroes and villains #hero x villain #but not really cause it's platonic haha

[wine-and-fanficideas]

Unfortunately Your Reputation Precedes You

Part 1

Part 2

Dpxdc TW murder, rape, abuse and other dark themes to be explored. Will also cover recovery and complicated relationships. Unreliable Narrator, or is it biased narrator? Idk its Danny's pov so far.

Vlad is a horrible awful person in this fic, murder, rape and recovery and associated issues. Jazz does not have a good time at all. None of them do actually.

I don't know what ships I'll use later, been thinking Jazz (18/19) & Jason(early 20s), Danny(15/16) & Tim(16/17), maybe Danielle & Conner? I'm open to suggestions as I flesh it out of course, there are so many characters in the DCU and itd be interesting to explore rarepairs.

Danny (15) - Danielle (15) - Jasmine (17)

*Story Starts Here*

Wasnt it supposed to be raining? Funerals were supposed to be dark and dreary, and it was supposed to rain so much no one would be able to tell if there were tears.

It was cloudy, sure, as it had been for the past week, but there wasnt a drop of rain in sight.

Last week, things were normal. He was finally getting used to his new normal since the portal incident, only for things to change again. He was at school when it happened. The end of the year assembly. He could remember exactly which part of the speech it was, Paulina was transferring from the football cheer team to the schools competitive cheer team and had to let everyone know. Then there was the distant sound of an explosion, and the ground shook.

A minute, then two, and fire trucks and police cars and ambulances raced past the school. A dozen or so minutes later and people were getting phone calls, the assembly canceled as everyone rushed to make sure their families and friends were safe. Then Jazz and Danny were called to the principal's office.

It was easy to find out what happened when he turned on his phone. "FentonWorks Explosion" summed it up, but the articles popping up about it all had something to say.

The FentonWorks Underground Lab exploded at 2:45pm this afternoon, killing both Doctors Fenton, and causing the house above to collapse inwards. No other residents of the neighborhood were killed, though the shock wave managed to break several items in the nearby houses, only minor injuries were reported.

Danny doesn't remember what happened after that very well though. He talked to a lot of people, CPS and the police and a reporter and doctors.

Somehow, Vlad had created a record for Danielle, she was legally recognized as his twin sister, and their interdimensional biology was reduced to a mere medical condition, that Vlad just so happened to have, which mad him the best guardian for the two orphaned Fentons since he was already guardian of the twin the Fentons had abandoned for whatever reason.

When Danny blinked, it was a week after the incident and now they're holding a funeral for his parents.

He wasn't sure how this could get worse honestly, but as he looked at Vlad he realized the worst was yet to come.

Danny wanted to be sick.

Vlad was looking at Jazz the same creepy way he looked at Mom.

#dc x dp #vlad plasmius #rape #abuse #child abuse #murder #dead maddie and jack fenton #evil Vald Masters #Unfortunately Your Reputation Precedes You