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#and yet it felt different to me but when doesn't it. maybe it wasn't any different
inkskinned · 10 months
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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les4elliewilliams · 2 months
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bound by love // ex-girlfriend!ellie
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☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆
daily click・palestine masterpost・do not buy any game from naughty dog, neil druckmann is a zionist.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
wc/warnings: 5.6k ; strap-on sex (r!receiving), tribbing, oral (r!receiving), cheating, use of names like whore, slut, baby etc. and toxic relationship. do NOT read if you're sensitive about this kind of stuff!! do not romanticize toxic relationships and run far away from toxic people.
a/n: also first time writing smut so please be kind😭. not proofread so i'm sorry if you find any mistakes
pairing: toxic!ellie, ex-girlfriend!ellie also stalker!ellie???(just ellie stalking your social media and location) and jealous!ellie ig.
☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆
I know that you're shitty and you're bad for me
But I can't stop thinking 'bout it
✩ You used to console yourself by saying that the problem was not you but her. You believed that she was the one who caused all the issues in the relationship. However, as time passed, you started to realize that the situation was more complex than you initially thought. You began to question your own actions and words and wondered if you could have done things differently. You tried to stay positive by reminding yourself that sometimes things don't work out, and it's okay to move on. But you couldn't move on.
✩ Despite all your efforts to move on and forget about her, you always found yourself drawn back to her for some weird reason. You tried everything you could think of to let her go — you blocked her on every platform you could, hoping it would help you move on, but it never seemed to work. No matter how hard you tried to forget her, you always ended up unblocking her, usually within an hour of blocking her. It was as if you were powerless to resist the pull she had on you, no matter how much you wanted to be free of her.
✩ You were the one who broke up with her, claiming she was too toxic for you. However, you cannot deny that you also had your fair share of faults. Both of you were aware of the toxicity in your relationship, but still, it lasted for three whole years. You often wonder how you were able to tolerate her for so long. She always seemed to go out of her way to provoke you and get a reaction out of you. She would intentionally make you jealous, making nasty comments about other women's bodies to make you insecure and maybe even cry. She loved it when you got possessive and jealous; that was the only way she felt cared for and loved. She constantly needed reassurance, and her overthinking would stop only when you got possessive of her or extremely jealous; it didn't make sense, and she knew it wasn't normal, yet she couldn't help herself. But it wasn't only that. She was also extremely manipulative and a liar. It was a never-ending cycle of negativity, and both of you were caught up in it.
✩ If she was a toxic girlfriend, imagine how toxic she was once you two were broken up. When you broke up with her, you thought you were better off as friends, but soon enough, you started to realize how wrong you were.
✩ Even though she treated you poorly throughout your relationship, you always returned to her. Your love for her was strong, and it seemed as though returning to her was the only thing that felt right. Even though she was responsible for causing you a significant amount of emotional pain, she still felt like home to you — like the person who you could always run to whenever you needed it. She always knew the right thing to say to calm you down, cheer you up, and sometimes even make you cry. That was the thing about Ellie that confused you the most; She could be either the best person ever or the worst.
✩ When something big goes down in your life, she's the one you call up first. It doesn't matter if it's something totally dumb or something that seriously ticks you off, she's the one you rely on for comfort and support, and she's always there to baby you.
"S'okay baby— mhm, you got this," whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you rambled about your day "Want me to beat them up for you? You know I would," and she wasn't kidding, sending whoever made you mad to the ER without you even knowing it. You have always been someone who disliked violence. In fact, you were never the kind of person who would resort to violence, no matter how heated a situation may have been. You've always been the rational one between the two of you, thinking things through before acting. On the other hand, she was more impulsive, acting without much thought or consideration for the consequences of her actions. Anyway, you would find out what Ellie did to your coworker when he showed up with a cast around his arm, threatening to take legal action against her. You always found yourself in the middle of the conflict, pleading with your coworker not to sue Ellie and trying to smooth things over.
✩ Lots of
"you're the hottest girl i've ever dated" "i would take you back in a heartbeat" "i still have a soft spot for you" "best pussy i've ever had"
✩ She'd randomly show up at your place in the middle of the night, pounding on your door, little did you know she'd be pounding into you the second you let her in
"nfuckk— my pussy…s'all mine" Murmuring nonsense into the crook of your neck as she fucked your tight little hole with the new strap she desperately wanted to show you (which became your favorite for obvious reasons). "think anyone else can make you feel like this, hm?" and she wouldn't let you cum if you didn't reply, she wanted to hear you say that you belonged to her and her only.
✩ She constantly checked your social media accounts like a fucking maniac, fearing that you may have moved on or started spending time with other girls. This behavior was not healthy, and she was aware of it. Despite that, she couldn't help herself and even had access to your location, which she used to stalk you whenever you didn't respond to her messages or calls quickly enough. On two separate occasions, she unexpectedly showed up while you were on dates with other girls. At first, you brushed it off as a coincidence, but after the second time, you realized that she still had your location and that her sudden appearance was not coincidental at all. Therefore, you turned off the location sharing. and in no time she was blowing up your phone with texts
"why the fuck would you turn it off?" "moving on already?" "where the fuck do you even think you're going?" "try all you want, but you know who you belong to"
✩ It became increasingly clear that you and her were not meant to be friends. You still belonged to her in her mind — and perhaps it wasn't just in her mind. Deep down, you knew that she was right even though you were no longer together.
✩ Although you had repeatedly told Ellie that you wouldn't get back together, she remained convinced that you would eventually return. Instead of giving up, she actively pursued ways to reconnect with you. She would often surprise you by showing up at your apartment with a bouquet of your favorite flowers or things she knew you would like.
"Ellie, what're you doin' here?" you asked as you saw your ex-girlfriend holding a lovely bouquet of flowers in her hand. You were taken aback as you looked at the bouquet  — it was a Hello Kitty bouquet. You had mentioned this type of bouquet to Ellie before you broke up, and you were surprised that she even listened to you when you kept rambling about how cute it was. You had seen it on Pinterest before and never thought she would remember. Her green eyes met yours, and she scratched the back of her neck before flashing a warm smile your way. She knew you'd love it.  "Hi, angel," she said. She handed you the bouquet and planted a soft kiss on your cheek. Her free hand quickly found its way to your waist. She leaned back enough to gauge your reaction and asked with a cocky smile, "What d'you think?" The sudden appearance of Ellie took you aback, but you couldn't help but admire the bouquet in your hands. The Hello Kitty plushie and the colorful flowers were so cute. You didn't expect her to remember your love for this particular bouquet, but you were grateful that she did. "May I come in?" Her tone was confident, and her eyes shone with a mischievous glint. You couldn't help but wonder what she was up to, but you stepped aside to let her in nonetheless.
✩ She would listen intently to everything you said during your relationship and make mental notes of all the things you wanted or needed. However, she never acted on them until you broke up with her. Suddenly, she would start getting you those things, being the girlfriend you always wanted her to be, trying to convince you to give her another chance. But you weren't stupid; you knew that as soon as you let her back into your life, she would go back to her usual self, and her toxic behavior would come out once again.
✩ She showered you with compliments, gifts, and attention, making you feel like you were the only person in the world that mattered to her. When she realized that her love bombing wasn't working on you, she changed her tactics. She began dating a girl she had always insisted was "just a friend," even though you had always felt insecure about her because you thought she was prettier than you. But Ellie was using this girl only to get to you. She wanted to make you jealous and make you feel like you were missing out on something she could provide. She hoped you would come back to her, begging for another chance. You were devastated and couldn't help but compare yourself to this other girl, wondering what Ellie saw in Dina that she didn't see in you. But as time passed, you began to realize that Ellie was playing games. She didn't care about this girl, or about anyone else for that matter. To her, you were the one that got away, the one that she couldn't have. And so she used this other girl as a pawn in her game, hoping to win you back. But you didn't fall for it.
✩ She just went ahead and started posting pictures with her new girlfriend on Instagram to make sure you saw them and felt like shit. And, well, it worked like a charm. Even though you knew she was doing it on purpose to upset you, it still hurt like hell because she never posted pictures of the two of you together on social media, claiming she preferred to keep things private but as soon as she started dating her new girlfriend, she suddenly started posting about her non-stop, which made you feel even more hurt and insecure.
✩ You realized that cutting ties with Ellie and blocking her from all platforms would have been the wise thing to do. but let's be honest, getting revenge felt much more satisfying than being wise sometimes. You wanted to show her that you were not someone to be toyed with cause that's what you felt like: a toy. You started seeing a girl you had recently met, but you made sure not to make it too obvious. You didn't want Ellie to think you were only doing it to get back at her. Of course not, it had to look natural. You wanted to show her that you had moved on with your life and that you were over her. Even though it was quite the opposite, you weren't over her.
✩ When you began sharing pictures of your new girlfriend, she dropped her fake composed demeanor and started bombarding your phone with messages. You finally had her exactly where you wanted her.
2:33 am "who the fuck is that girl in your story?" 2:34 am "hello?" 2:36 am "answer your goddamn phone" 2:37 am "Why do you even care, Ellie? you're in a relationship." 2:39 am "what the actual fuck" 2:42 am "tell me" 2:46 am "who is she" 2:53 am "My girlfriend."
✩ After that, she vanished from social media and every other platform for nearly a week, leaving you on read. You had mixed emotions about it. On one hand, you felt a sense of pride for getting back at her. It was working because she seemed jealous. On the other hand, there was a part of you that couldn't help but miss her. You longed for her presence and wished she would come back. Her presence wasn't the only thing you longed for; you missed her hands all over your body, touching you just in the right places. She knew you like the back of her hand. She knew exactly how to make you arch your back and make you scream her name.
✩ You couldn't cum. It had been weeks, maybe a month, and your little friend down there was starting to ache. You were horny, so fucking horny, but you couldn't cum. All you could think of was your fucking ex-girlfriend almost as if your pussy had a mind of her own. Not even your favorite toys were helping. it felt good, but you felt like something was missing. You reached out to the nightstand and grabbed your phone, unlocking the screen with a swift gesture and opened the messaging app. It was wrong, so wrong and you knew you would regret it the next day, but you needed her. Your fingers moved effortlessly across the virtual keyboard as you typed a message to her.
 1:15 am "Els, I know it's wrong but"  1:15 am "I'm horny"  1:16 am "I need you, please"
You let out a deep sigh of frustration as ten long minutes ticked by, convinced she wouldn't text you back. The last conversation you had hadn't gone well, and you were starting to think it was all over between the two of you, for real this time. Just as you were about to give up and put your phone back on the nightstand, you heard a familiar chime. Your heart leaped into your throat as you saw that it was her.
1:27 am "lol your little gf can't make you feel good like i do?" 1:29 am "omw"
In just 10 minutes, she was back in your apartment, in your arms, and inside you. It was almost like nothing happened like she hadn't just made you cry for a whole month for getting with the girl who made you deeply insecure. All her 8 inches buried deep into your soaked hole, stretching it out and making it hurt, but it felt good. "Is this what you wanted, hm?" she kept mumbling random things into the crook of your neck, not that you were listening to anything she was saying; she was fucking you dumb, and you couldn't seem to focus on anything else but her thick strap pounding into you relentlessly, hitting your cervix just right. You were a mess, literally. "Ellie...nngfuck.. slow down" you breathed out between incoherent moans, panting like a fucking dog in heat "Take it, slut. Show me how much you missed me." She hissed, thrusting hard into you, all your juices spilling out of your pussy, making a mess on your pink sheets. All she wanted to do was destroy you, mark you as hers.
"C-can't," you whined as pornographic moans left your throat. She groaned deep in her throat, savoring the sounds of pleasure falling from your lips, almost as if her life depended on them. She missed this so much. She missed you so much. She increased the pace, pushing deeper into you each time. Her hands moved to your hips, gripping them tightly as she continued to thrust her hips against yours, her thrusts becoming faster and harder, your breath coming out in heavy gasps. "So fucking tight, baby," she panted, her voice hoarse with need "You belong to me, don't you?" She bit down on your neck, her teeth grazing lightly against your delicate skin, leaving behind a mark as evidence of her claim over you; you whimpered at the sensation. You were hers, no one else's. She wanted to mark you all over, hoping your girlfriend would see the hickeys on your breasts and neck the next day.
All you could do was nod frantically, "m'yours, all yours" you babbled out, painfully arching your back. So fucking incoherent. Especially after promising yourself that you would never let her lay a finger on you ever again. But you were desperate, you needed to cum, and you needed her right now. "That's my girl, only I can fuck you like this, yeah?" Her hands roamed all over your body, pinching your nipples and rubbing your throbbing nub harshly. She wanted to hear you beg for her and admit how much you needed her. She needed you to need her.
"Tell me how much you missed my cock." She demanded, slamming into you again and again. Your high-pitched moans filled the room, each one driving her wilder. She could feel her own climax building as her clit bumped against the back of her strap with each thrust; the sound of your pleas combined with the tightness of your pussy around her strap-on were enough to push her closer and closer to the edge. You felt that familiar sensation build in your stomach; you were close. "Soo much, ahhh!...missed it, yeah.." you couldn't even put together a proper sentence. Her grip on your hips tightened, tugging slightly as she continued to thrust into you, hitting the spot that had you rolling your eyes into the back of your skull, over and over until you couldn't hold back anymore.
"That's it, whore. Cum for me. You don't belong to anyone else," she snarled, her voice laced with possession. She knew just what to do or say to push you over the edge, and it worked every single time; that's why you ran to her whenever you needed a good fuck. She could feel your body tensing up and your pretty pussy clenching around her strap-on. You came simultaneously, your combined moans filling your cozy bedroom, her well-defined abdominal muscles glistening with a thin layer of sweat. She rolled you over, so now you were on top of her, riding out your orgasm on her silicone cock as she ground her clit against the back of her strap.  "Oooh fuuuck!" you cried out as pretty moans left your mouth. She took in the sight of you on top of her, her strap still buried deep inside you, riding her cock; your tits bounced as you did so, a sight that she loved. No one did it like you. No one was remotely as good as you. She took a glimpse of your cum sliding down the strap, you were so fucking wet, and nasty wet sounds filled the room, but she loved it. "Fuck, baby," she groaned, clenching her teeth tightly together, causing her jaw muscles to bulge prominently. Her hands gripped your hips, guiding you as you moved your hips, setting the pace, your eyes locked on hers the entire time. Her fingers dug into your skin, leaving small marks that she knew would fade within hours but would always remind her of this moment. Her veiny hand reached up, grabbing one of your breasts, squeezing it firmly and twisting the nipple between her fingers. Your breath came out in ragged gasps, her eyes never leaving yours as she watched you take her cock like the fucking slut you were. "Taking me so well, such a good girl f'me, aren't ya?"
"El..." you whined as she toyed with your nipple. You weren't going to last long; you were still sensitive and your pussy couldn't handle it. "'m gonna cum again!" you cried out once again, bouncing faster on her thick strap. She watched you with unabashed hunger, her eyes never leaving your body as it moved above her. She thrust up, meeting your movements, pushing you closer to the edge. The sight of your tits bouncing in time with your thrusts and the strap disappearing inside your juicy-coated pussy almost made Ellie cum right then and there. Your thighs started to tremble, and she could feel you clench around her dick; your gasps and moans becoming more frequent. She wasted no time, her fingers digging into your hips as she slammed you down on her strap, making you cry out her name, "Just like that, yeah...take it."
When you finally collapsed against her, panting heavily, Ellie couldn't help but smile. "Mine," she rasped, her voice thick with possession and satisfaction. As your bodies finally came down from their highs, breaths slowly returning to normal, she pulled out of you, leaving your wet and sore pussy gaping open. You whined at the sensation, suddenly feeling empty.
The smile plastered on her face faded as you pulled away, the coldness in your voice seeping into the air between you two as you told her to return to her girlfriend. She reluctantly mimicked your movements and sat up, breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her eyes met yours, searching for any trace of warmth or affection, but all she found was distance. She grabbed her clothes and started to dress herself quickly, trying to calm down, her movements precise and controlled, hiding the hurt and anger she felt at your words. She was confused. You had called her, and she thought you were ready to take her back into your life. She wasn't expecting you to discard her like a toy. "I see how it is," she muttered, her voice cold and distant. She gathered her belongings, not meeting your gaze. "I shouldn't have come here." When she was fully clothed, Ellie turned to face you, her eyes filled with regret and anger.
"Yeah, you shouldn't have," your tone coming off as sharp and cold. You put your shirt on, struggling to process what happened. You missed her so fucking much, and the sex with her was also something you missed a lot. You knew she was right when she told you that no one could fuck you like she did; your girlfriend couldn't even make you cum, while Ellie knew precisely how to touch you to make you feel good. "Can't believe it...Dina, really?" you muttered under your breath as you got dressed, catching her off guard. Your outburst was so sudden neither you could understand it. She could sense the jealousy in your voice and knew exactly what was going on, and the realization made her feel a twinge of satisfaction. "Is this what it's all about? Me fucking with Dina?" she scoffed, her eyes rolling in annoyance. But despite her outward annoyance, she was secretly glad you still cared and got jealous. It meant that you had never indeed gotten over her. You struggled to maintain eye contact with her, the words "Just…get out" barely escaped your lips. You felt a burning sense of shame for letting your jealousy get the best of you, but at the same time, you couldn't help but release all the pent-up emotions you had been holding in for so long.
She snorted from her nose, shaking her head in disbelief, almost amused by all this "Just say the word, and I'll dump her ass," she said in a flat tone, her emerald green eyes staring right back at you as she placed her hands on her hips. You could tell she was serious, as there was a hint of desperation in her voice. She was hoping you'd ask her to drop Dina's ass and come back to you, but of course, you didn't. "I would do anything for you" desperate, so fucking desperate. You let out a deep sigh and firmly shook your head, looking into her eyes. You could see the pain and desperation in her gaze, but you couldn't just let her back into your life like that. "Go," you repeated yourself. "Fine, whatever," she sounded so pissed, disappointed. For a moment, you wanted to take your words back, but you knew that letting her into your life again was the worst idea ever.
✩ That night only made it incredibly difficult for you to move on from her (not that you could before), but she was all you could think of. You found yourself constantly yearning for her at every moment of the day. You'd often text her, and she would always come over, no matter what she was in the middle of. She was willing to drop everything to be with you and 8 inches inside you or between your thighs. Even if she was out with Dina, she didn't seem to care — it became obvious that something was going on between you and Ellie. You couldn't understand how Dina couldn't tell that Ellie was cheating on her with you.
6:34 pm "Baby, need you" 6:36 pm "I'm so wet, been thinking about you all day :(" 6:37 pm "proof??"
✩ One of the things you used to do quite regularly was sending her nudes. You would send her nudes on Snapchat unexpectedly, mostly to surprise her or get some sort of reaction from her. Sending snaps to tease her was one of your favorite things to do. Whether it was a picture of you in sexy lingerie or a video of you playing with your pussy, riding the purple strap she had left at your place weeks ago. You loved making her horny, and it always worked. She would always end up knocking at your door, eager to fuck you or eat you out.
"Teasin' me like that in public — tsskk," She mumbled against your throbbing core as she teased your clit with her tongue. Your legs were on her shoulders, and you watched her head disappear between your thighs. Your fingers tightly gripped into her auburn hair as she devoured like a starved animal, so pussy drunk. But even in that state, she was such a sight.
✩ You were the only one she could think about, even when fucking her girlfriend. Her mind too fixated on the cute little whimpers that left your mouth when she was inside you or sucking on your clit. The way your legs trembled when you were close, your hips jerking away from her when it became too much for you. No one could make her wet like you did, it was a fucking curse having to fuck someone else while thinking of you, hoping that would be enough to trick her brain into thinking she was fucking you instead.
✩ She would save each of your snaps into her phone's gallery and meticulously organize them into a special and hidden folder she had created just for you. This folder contained not just your nudes but plenty of other stuff — from intimate pictures you'd send her to videos she'd take while fucking you. She would go through the folder occasionally for personal use (iykwim).
✩ Your girlfriend was quick to pick up on something odd going on. She'd notice how you would turn your phone upside down, making sure the screen was facing whatever surface to make sure she wouldn't see your ex-girlfriend spamming your phone with texts (she would do it on purpose, by the way). That's how she knew something was up, but for some odd reason, she brushed it off.
✩ She was fed up with your stupid girlfriend constantly in the way. Why weren't you breaking up with her already? She couldn't understand; she was trying to be the best version of herself for you, yet you were still not hers. She tried everything to get you caught, like texting you while your girlfriend was around, sending you risky snaps, calling you...but nothing seemed to be working. So, she decided to hurry things up by texting your girlfriend and sending her some evidence.
She selected a video from her gallery to send to your girlfriend, writing a text message to go along with it before hitting the 'send' button "is this ur girl?" In the video, she was strapping you from behind, and you were telling her exactly what she needed to hear, "Better than your stupid girlfriend, yeah?" "Y-yes. Oooh fuckk. nhhmmm...faster, please" "Can she fuck you like this, hmm?" "No one can fuck me like y-you do...pleaseplease faster"
✩ Your girlfriend felt hurt and betrayed after realizing that you were using her to make your ex jealous, and she ended things between you two. You didn't seem to be affected by the breakup significantly, as if you had been expecting it all along. Honestly, it was almost as if the relationship never existed to you.
✩ Despite feeling indifferent towards your recent breakup, you were furious that Ellie had been the one who caused the end of your relationship. Who was she to control your life in such a way? Well, she couldn't give a fuck, to be quite honest. Seeing you with other girls consumed her from the inside. Nevertheless, she did not break up with Dina.
✩ But of course, you couldn't just let it slide. You already had a plan.
You were at Ellie's place, your back pressed onto her messy blankets, your leg on top of her shoulder as she held the other one firm, adjusting herself on top of you, to be more precise... on your pussy; grinding her wet pussy against your dripping cunt as filthy wet sounds and whimpers echoed in the room. Her hips moved in a slow motion, her green forest eyes fixated on yours. You reached to her nightstand to grab her phone, "Can I...nghhm... record us, baby?" you managed to utter between soft moans as she rode you, her movements became more desperate, chasing her own orgasm. "Record how good m'fuckin' this pussy?" her voice was husky, her breath ragged. Her head rolled back as she continued to grind against you, moaning at the friction, and her eyes fluttered shut. You unlocked her phone and quickly went through her contacts, pressing on Dina's name to start the call. Although the plan seemed foolish and overused, it worked out perfectly.
Dina appeared at Ellie's doorstep in no time to shout at her while you listened from her bedroom. You were amused by the drama that was unfolding before you. It was entertaining to watch Ellie deny the evidence. Dina's voice rose higher and higher as she accused her of sleeping with her ex. When Dina stormed out of the apartment and slammed the front door behind her, you emerged from your hiding spot and leaned against the doorframe, gazing at her with a mischievous grin on your face. Your arms were crossed over your chest as you watched her, waiting to see her reaction. When she turned to look at you, her face etched with confusion and surprise. You shrugged nonchalantly and said, "My finger slipped," with a lopsided smile.
She snorted and shook her head, but you could see the amusement in her expression, "Such a bitch," she said, though you could tell she was trying to suppress a smile. For some reason, she couldn't help but find it funny, she knew she deserved it.
✩ She gradually made her way back into your life, taking slow but steady steps to regain your trust and affection. And before you knew it, she asked you to be her girlfriend again. You hesitated at first but eventually gave in to the strong feelings you still had for her. The first few months of your second chance together seemed to be going smoothly, or so you thought. Then, one day, out of the blue, she broke up with you, claiming that she needed a break from the relationship.
✩ Your heart was shattered into countless pieces, struggling to comprehend where it had all gone wrong. And to make things worse, it seemed like you were the only one suffering, while she appeared to be completely fine, almost as if she were unbothered by the whole situation. You had poured your heart out, begging her to give your relationship another try, but she seemed to be holding back, almost...distant.
✩ But that didn't stop you; you were determined to win her back. You tried everything in your power to get her to love you again, just like she used to do when she wanted to win you back. You started showing up at her place unannounced, always with little surprises for her: her favorite snacks, flowers, handmade stuff, and love letters. But unfortunately, all your efforts seemed to be in vain. The more you tried, the more she pushed you away. You couldn't tell how she had switched so fast and went from doing anything to get back with you to this. 
✩ When you asked her for an explanation, she said she felt emotionally unavailable. She went on to say that she wasn't sure if she still loved you and that she needed a break. You could see the hurt in her eyes and feel the weight of her words as they slowly sank in. It was a devastating blow that left you feeling utterly destroyed. The pain you felt was almost too much to bear.
✩ She promised to come back to you once she felt better. Months passed, and she didn't return. You were left feeling lost and heartbroken, struggling to cope with the pain of the breakup. To move on, you tried to distract yourself with other things, keeping yourself busy with work, hobbies, and spending time with friends. As time went on, you slowly began to heal and accept that it was over. When she unexpectedly came back, you were already over her.
"im ready to give us another try" "Ellie, it's been a fucking year." "and?"
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toyota-supra · 1 year
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there's something kind of too intimate about having a tomodachi collection/island save of your friends and loved ones like you can literally pat anyone's head at any moment
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wordsarelife · 2 months
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—gorgeous
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pairing: mattheo riddle x fem!reader
summary: being in love with your best friend might be a bad idea, but drowning your sorrows in alcohol might be your worst one yet
warnings: underage drinking, partying, no usage of y/n, a few suggestive remarks
notes: this is my official entry for the hogmarch challenge of @thatdammchickennugget using prompt 2: “are you speaking parsletongue or am i really that drunk?”
the night was rushing fast away in front of your eyes, easy chatter, at the start of the party, quickly turning into drunken singing and shouting along to the music that was drowning out everything else.
the dim blue light that was shining through the ravenclaw common room did it‘s best to worsen the drunken state many of your classmates were in.
mattheo was sitting on a couch, wearing his usual cool demeanour and being surrounded by his friends. they were known for getting a bit drunk, but never making an embarrassment out of themselves through loud singing or obnoxious dancing.
and normally you were known for sitting right next to them and doing the same.
even though it was dark, you could see mattheo's head turn and his eyes searching the crowd for you. you had excused yourself to get something to drink. that had been over ten minutes ago and you were really debating to just go to bed.
the night had turned out differently than you had expected and you weren't really in the mood to act like it hadn't.
"someone is looking for you" a voice behind you said and you turned around startled.
"harry" you said relieved when you recognized the boy.
it wasn't like the two of you were friends, after all you were coming from vastly different groups, but since a project in astronomy you had become acquaintances, sometimes sharing a few nice words at parties.
"why are you standing here all alone? why aren't you with your friends?"
"why aren't you?" you shot back, making harry quirk an eyebrow.
"well played" he complimented and smiled "i was trying to get away from dean and ginny making out"
"ouch" it wasn't really a well known fact that harry fancied ginny, but you had noticed it right away a few parties ago and he had been able to read you well enough to know that you had known.
"it's alright" he shrugged "i just don't want to sit next to it"
"who would?" you asked sarcastically as you eyes fell on the couple, hungrily making out on the couch, successfully pushing seamus off.
it seemed that a few people felt way too comfortable in the ravenclaw common room.
"oi, it's no fun with these two" seamus complained, sympathetically hitting harry's shoulder on the way to the table with the drinks.
"back to you" harry grinned, seemingly uncomfortable with talking about his secret crush on ginny weasley more than necessary "why are you avoiding riddle? i thought you two were the best of friends"
"i'm not avoiding him" you said defensively, taking a big gulp from the vodka in your cup to prevent yourself from saying any more.
harry took a moment to study your facial expression, before he sighed in a tone that almost made you tear up "oh"
"no" you shook your head "no 'oh', stop looking at me like that, potter"
harry laughed dryly "too late" he shrugged "so, being the best of friends is your actual problem, huh?"
you didn't answer his question, but took another sip from the cup. immediately regretting it.
harry cringed "if you continue drinking at that rate you won't be able to speak a coherent sentence in a few minutes"
"maybe i don't want to speak coherent sentences anymore"
"so we're already at the point of drowning our sorrows in alcohol?" he raised his cup and took a sip "no, you're right, it doesn't look like you're unluckily in love with riddle at all"
you sighed "okay, fine, you're obviously smarter than you look" you rolled your eyes.
"well, ouch" harry said offended, but you could see a hint of mischief in his eyes. "am i allowed to join your little club of self-pity?"
"sure" you nodded "the more the merrier i guess"
"there's no better way to spend a party than drown yourself in self-pity with the girl you're kind of on good terms with"
"yeah, totally" you grinned "but i think if we continue talking at that rate we will be able to call each other friends in an hour"
"deal" harry laughed, before he grabbed the bottle of vodka on the table behind you, filling both your own and his cup back up. he put the bottle back and held his cup in your direction "to unrequited love" he said dramatically.
you grimaced, but raised your cup to clink against his. "to unrequited love" you toasted "and unexpected friendships" you added.
"yeah that too" he smiled before you both took a big sip from your cups.
"vodka is fucking disgusting" you complained and harry nodded, making a face that would allow the assumption that he had been thinking the same thing.
"at least it does the trick"
you and harry spend the next hour recklessly sipping vodka, while you were telling each other ridiculous stories. the vodka had a quicker effect than either of you had thought, making the both of you dance and refer to each other as friends sooner than you had predicted.
just as 'dancing queen' began to play and you were twirling on the dancefloor, did you notice the empty spot on the couch occupied by your friends. there was only one of them missing. before it could really register in your brain who exactly was missing, a voice rang out next to you.
"make room, potter" you and harry both turned around, looking surprised at the arrival of mattheo riddle.
"matty" you laughed after the few seconds it had taken you to recognize your best friend.
mattheo's arm darted to the side, catching you before you could fall to the ground. you had made the attempt to hug him, missing his body by a few feet. you had been closer to hugging cormac mclaggen who was standing off to the side.
"there you are" mattheo noted, gently taking your cup out of your hand, sniffing the contents and grimacing at the strong sent of vodka, mixed with a bit of orange juice.
"do you want some?" you slurred, grinning up at the boy, who's arm was still holding you steady.
"how many of these has she had?" mattheo asked harry, thinking he would be a little less wasted than you.
"like thirty-four thousand?" harry answered before him and you broke into simultaneous laughter.
"had to have been a lot" mattheo muttered, noticing the way you were laughing with the chosen one, gripping his arm, like you were old friends.
he let go of you, taking harry's cup as well, emptying the both into the bucket under the table with the drinks. he came back right in time to witness you saying goodbye to harry with a dramatic hug, kissing both his cheeks and lastly his forehead.
"yeah, that's enough" mattheo said, dragging your body back against his when he noticed you going in to plant more kisses on harry's face. he looked bad enough, the red lipstick you were wearing leaving marks all over his face.
harry smiled before he waved at you and turned around, stumbling through the crowd of students probably in search of his redheaded best friend.
mattheo rolled his eyes. "you're absolutely wasted, darling"
you turned around to look at him and unconsciously bring a bit of space between the both of you "is it that obvious?" you asked.
mattheo watched with a smirk, how you tried to balance yourself out, to just be able to stand. your arm ended up stabilizing your own hip and you almost fell full on to the side, when you moved your leg.
"not really" mattheo grinned "come on, baby" he softly gripped your waist on either side, guiding you in the direction of your friends. you closed your eyes, leaning your head against his shoulder, letting him walk you through the room willingly.
"have i ever told you how gorgeous you are?"
"i am?" he asked laughing.
"so gorgeous that it hurts"
"you're flattering me" he smiled, nudging your arm. "but maybe you should concentrate more on walking in the right direction"
he was right. it was taking you way too long to cross the room, thanks to your inability to still walk in a straight line, even with his help.
"hey" mattheo greeted, making the eyes of his friends turn on him. "i'm bringing her to bed"
"already?" enzo asked skeptically, checking his watch "it's only two a.m."
"hey guys!" you greeted when your eyes snapped open. you bend forward, plastering a kiss onto enzo’s cheek. "how the party you doing? good? good!" you smiled, nodding as your eyes fell closed, as you leaned back onto mattheo again.
"what?" theo laughed at your slurred words that had not made the slightest bit of sense.
"yeah, i get it now" enzo nodded understandingly, trying to rub your lipstick off his cheek.
"she's only been gone for an hour" blaise said unbelievingly "how did she get that drunk?"
"she's had approximately like more than a thousand vodka-o's according to potter" mattheo chuckled.
"potter?" draco repeated disgustingly "what has she been doing with potter?"
"harry and i are best friends" you gushed, giving draco an angry look. he rolled his eyes in annoyance, but without questioning your answer.
"let's not get ahead of ourselves, love" mattheo argued, a bit of jealousy in his voice.
"you don't have to be jealous" you softly touched his cheek "you know i love you more than anyone, honey"
blaise let out a loud whistling noise "seems likes she's your girl after all, riddle"
"oh shut up" mattheo said at the same time as you said "of course"
"better bring her to bed now" theo advised and you could feel mattheo nod next to you.
"i'll be back in a few minutes" mattheo promised, as he softly turned you around to be able to walk you in the direction of the door.
"no he won't" you slurred, turning your head in the direction your friends, gripping mattheo's neck and winking at them.
enzo hollored and theo laughed, while blaise repeated the whisteling.
"cheers to that" even draco was amused about you, as he raised his cup in your direction.
"i'll be back" mattheo assured again, pushing you forward.
"no you won't" theo shook his head, smirking as he watched his friend roll his eyes and gently guide you through the crowd.
"how about a shot of tequila?" you suggested to mattheo, perfectly awake again. there was no hint of the tiredness that had consumed your body only a few minutes ago.
maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the sound of a familiar voice indicating the beginning of the song 'whatta man' by salt-n-pepa, which was now booming through the boxes.
"no, no more alcohol" mattheo shook his head, suddenly being the kind of responsible he had never seen himself to become.
"oh my god!" you gushed when you finally reconized the song "that's my favorite song! let us dance, matty!"
he was distracted by two hufflepuff boys almost running into him, when you saw the perfect opportunity to escape his hold. stupidly enough, that was the only thing you could see, as you had promptly gotten lost in the crowd of people.
mattheo was at your side only a second after, making you realize that you had in fact just turned around, without moving more than a feet away from him.
"if you don't come with me on your own accord, i'll have to carry you" mattheo warned.
you giggled, clasping your hands around his biceps "let us dance" you pleaded, completely ignoring what he had said.
mattheo furrowed his eyebrows, still waiting for you to reply to what he had said, but you were busy watching a few ravenclaws and hufflepuffs downing shots. "or we could down some shots" you mumbled.
mattheo took that as answer enough, clasping one of his hands around your forearm and the other around your leg, as he bend down to throw you over his shoulder.
"matty" you protested, as he began to walk you out of the common room. you gave up arguing and continued to sing along to the chorus of 'whatta man' as mattheo walked you both through the crowd of people.
as soon as the door to the ravenclaw common room fell close behind the two of you, you slumped down on mattheo's shoulder, the tiredness hitting you immediately.
"do you want to walk on your own now, baby?" mattheo asked, but he could feel you shake your head. "can you use you words?" he was growing a bit concerned at your sudden mood shift, trying to make sure that you were still somewhat alright.
"no" you pouted "i don't want to use my words"
"you just did"
"i never let a man tell me what to do" you slurred and mattheo had to chuckle.
"clearly" he muttered under his breath.
he walked through the halls of the castle quickly, making sure that you wouldn't be discovered by one of the teachers. you would probably kill him if one of them saw you like this. you never really got that drunk often, so it was on mattheo to make sure that no one found out about it now.
he should've searched for you immediately after you hadn't come back. he shouldn't have waited an hour. but he was scared of annoying you. you were always together and he had taken your absence as a sign for you needing some space.
if he could, he would follow you around all the time, preferably holding your hand while doing so. maybe in another universe you would want him to do that.
"when are we there?" you asked, your hand wandering across his shoulder, before it finally found it's place in his hair, gripping it tightly.
"any second now" mattheo was trying to make sure not to shake your body too much, as he quickly walked down the steps to the dungeon. he wouldn't want you to throw up. "do you feel sick, sweetheart?"
"no" you muttered "i just want to sleep"
"i know, i know" mattheo patted the back of your leg "we're almost at the door"
he hadn't lied. it only took a few more seconds, before he whispered the password and the door to the slytherin common room opened, revealing the familiar green lighting as he walked you both inside. he crossed the room, climbing the stairs to your dorm.
he took his time to set you down on your bed, making sure that no quick movement could make you feel uncomfortable. he unfolded your blanket, spreading it across your body.
he was ready to leave the room, before you called him back.
"matty" you cried and he perked up, walking back to the bed. you threw the blanket to the side dramatically, revealing your trousers and shirt. "i can't sleep like this"
"oh" mattheo said dumbfounded "do you want me to take them off?" he asked slowly, gripping the waistband of your trousers.
"are you speaking parsletongue or am i really that drunk?" you giggled at the joke with your eyes still closed.
"you're really that drunk" mattheo answered, rolling his eyes at your unseriousness "and it's not funny"
"it's a bit funny" you opened your eyes and giggled at his facial expression "why are you so serious, matty?"
"i should've kept an eye on you" he answered "you don't like to be drunk"
"i can make my own decisions" you argued, crossing your arms.
"obviously" mattheo nodded "should i take them off?" he repeated his question from earlier, but the tone of his voice made you sober up immediately, well at least a bit.
"are you really angry at me right now?" you asked surprised.
"i had to leave the party to bring you to bed"
"that's not the reason you're angry" you said, knowing him well enough to see through his lie.
"okay, fine" he sat down on the bed and you sat up, drawing your knees to your chest and hugging them with your arms. "maybe i'm a bit angry that you would rather spend your evening getting drunk with potter than speaking to me"
"matty"
"no, it's fine" he shook his head "i shouldn't be angry about how you choose to spend your time. goodnight" he stood up from the bed, walking to the door quickly, so voice rang out before he was able to twist the doorknob.
"can you please just stay?" you asked and he turned around in surprise.
"what?"
"maybe i chose to spend time with harry, but i'm choosing to spend the night with you. isn't that more important?"
"that's not how it works"
"okay, fine" you said, tired of arguing "do you want to know the truth? spending time with you is super hard while i'm madly in love with you" even though you were a bit more sober than before, he could still recognize the drunkness in your voice, especially because you were never that bold.
"madly in love with me, huh?" mattheo repeated surprised, his signature smirk immediately replacing the frown on his face.
“it’s embarrassing, i know” you buried your face in your hands, hiding your rosy cheeks from his eyes. he softly took your hands in his, freeing your face of them.
"don't hide from me" he smiled "and it’s not embarrassing, because the truth is, that i'm madly in love with you too"
you smiled up at him. “can you kiss me then?” he smiled at your question, but shook his head.
“no more kisses tonight” he muttered, softly stroking your hair “we can do that tomorrow, as often as you want to, when you’re sober again”
“okay” you nodded.
he gently helped you to exchange your trousers for pyjama bottoms, before he took of his shirt and climbed into bed next to you. you cuddled close to his chest, your hair tickling him whenever you moved.
"blaise was right" you said finally "i'm your girl after all"
"you always were" mattheo whispered back, softly kissing your forehead, before the both of you fell asleep, holding onto each other.
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slutforln4 · 5 months
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ALL MINE
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🖇️ in which your drunk best friend turns into something more, perhaps?
🖇️ request from a lovely anon! had to wreck my brain on how to write it haha. send in an ask to lmk how i did!
🖇️ warnings: 18+ MDNI !! this is an nsfw work. its also 3.1k words long...
🖇️ lando norris x reader
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It’s nearly two a.m. when you get woken up by a spam of messages from none other than your best friend, Lando.
Lando: Heeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy
Lando: Could uou please come pcik me up?
Lando: I’n a bit drunk hahaha
You giggle at his misspelt messages and type up a quick reply as you tug on a sweatshirt and sweatpants.
You: Yeah, where are you?
Lando: You jnow the club with the huge dj table? The one I love?
You: Be there in 10.
Lando: thank youuuuu ❤️
It’s a little silly how a red heart emoji is making you blush. Lando’s always been affectionate over text and in real life, so it's really nothing new. But, what definitely is new, are the feelings you have for him.
It took you three years of friendship to realise that Lando makes you feel happier and more loved than any of your ex-boyfriends ever did. He was there for you during all the break-ups and comforted you by delivering roses to your house every week. And he still does.
You look over at this week’s bouquet of roses on the bedside table of the hotel and smile at the note. ‘Much love, Lando.’ It reads, with the sloppiest yet cutest heart you could imagine drawn underneath it.
Lando’s always been affectionate, but maybe more so when it comes to you.
Everyone else on the grid noticed the way he looked at you and he never denied it when they asked if he liked you more than just a friend. You’d sit in a corner of the garage, tucked away from all the chaos of the mechanics and the roaring engines, but you’d still watch the races intensely. And, he’d be lying if he said that he wasn't doing better with you there.
When you’re on the paddock, it's almost like you’re Lando’s good luck charm. He ends up getting high spots on the pole each time you join him on the races and watch from the side. Or maybe it was the thought that when he finished the races, you'd be there waiting for him with your arms wide open to embrace him in a hug that felt like it wasn't platonic at all. Neither of you are sure if it was.
The cold night air hits your cheeks as soon as you leave your car. Maybe it wasn't the best decision to wear sweats to a club, but it's not like you’d be there for long. You text Lando that you’re there and wait for him to read the message, but he doesn't. You text Oscar, he replies in an instant.
You: Hey, are you at the club with Lando?
Oscar: Yes, he’s been whining for you. Are you here?
You: Yeah, I’m outside the club actually. Could you please ask him to come outside?
Oscar: Give him 5 minutes to gather his stuff.
You: Alright, thank you.
You nervously clutch your phone in your hand as you lean against your car. Something feels different about tonight. Sure, you were at the race and saw him kick ass out there. Maybe it was the fact that he placed fifth and was beating himself up for it.
Back at the hotel, before he left for the club, he was ranting to you about everything he could’ve done differently.
“I’m stupid,” he sighed, sitting down on the bed next to you and placing his head in his hands. “Could’ve been P3.”
“Hey,” you softly caressed his back as you spoke. “You were amazing out there, truly. It wouldn't take a genius to notice the potential you have. This year just wasn't your year, you’ll do better next season.”
By the end of your speech, Lando had pulled you into his lap and softly caressed your hair as you played with his. “You’re right.” He smiled, fondly. “I’ll do better next season, because I have such an amazing girl like you by my side, hm?” He softly caressed your cheek and you nodded, smiling at him.
Your thoughts get cut off by the sound of Lando and Oscar talking as they leave the club. “Mate, I’m fineeee,” you heard Lando speak. He had an arm around Oscar’s shoulders to keep steady, yet was practically carried by Oscar the whole time.
“No, you’re not, you can barely walk.” You see Oscar roll his eyes as he helps Lando get to you. When Lando’s glossy eyes land on you, he grins.
“Y/N!” He exclaims, wrapping his arms around you. You reciprocate the hug, wrapping your arms around his neck and inhaling the familiar scent of your best friend. As intoxicating as it is, you manage to pull away slightly. “Why didn't you come inside? Max was downing shots like craaaazyyyyy”
“Maybe next time,” you laugh.
Lando pulls away and turns to Oscar. “This guy,” he points to him, causing a confused look on Oscar’s face. “He’s the real champ.” Lando laughs, wobbling over to Oscar. “Great job, mate. I’m very jealous and upset, but you did so great.”
“You also did really great, Lando.” Oscar smiles at Lando, “McLaren said you’ve had a great impact on the team.”
“Aw, really?” Lando grins and it warms your heart. “That’s so sweet. Listen, I will catch you later, I got a pretty girl I gotta get to, alright?”
Oscar nods and locks eyes with you, noticing the slight blush on your face at Lando’s words. “Alright, mate. Night.” He says to the both of you.
“Night, Oscar,” you and Lando reply in union and he laughs. You open the passenger door for him and he gets in, but instead of buckling up, he just sits there. “Buckle up, Lan.”
“Sleepy,” is all he says. You roll your eyes and smile at his laziness before reaching over and buckling him up. You have to try your best and ignore how his face is so close to your neck, and how you’re so close to his neck. The button-up he wore today was half-way to being fully unbuttoned and the mere glimpse of his exposed chest made you weak in the knees. “You smell nice.”
“Thanks, Lan.” You smile and start the car, driving back towards the hotel. There’s an unexpected silence in the car and you can feel Lando’s gaze on you. After looking at the rear-view mirror and seeing just how red he made you, you pray he’s too drunk to tell.
You feel his gentle tug on the sleeve of your sweatshirt. “This mine?”
You look down and realise you did, in fact, put on Lando’s sweatshirt instead of your own. “Oh, shit. Yeah, sorry. Probably mixed yours up with mine.”
“No, it's alright,” he hums. “Looks better on you. I like you in my clothes.”
You’re sure that if Lando wasn't wasted right now, he’d be giving you so much shit for being a flustered mess. But you can't help it when he’s being so sweet to you.
The hotel comes into view and you look over at Lando. He was already looking at you. “We’re here.”
He unfastens his seatbelt and opens the door, before making his way around the car to open your door. Even though he’s drunk, he remembers the little things he does for you. You’ve told him multiple times that he doesn't have to do that, you’re fully capable of opening your own door, but he persists.
Lando’s hand reaches out to help you get out of the car and the warmth of his palm in yours sends sparks through your body. He seems to notice it, but says nothing about it. Yet you notice the slight smirk on his face.
He seems to be less drunk than when he was with Oscar. He walks just fine without needing to support himself on you, but regardless, he wraps an arm around your waist and leads you into the hotel.
“Don’t you need help walking?” You laugh, slightly, as you remind him of what he was like only ten minutes ago.
“Nope,” Lando shrugs, reciprocating the smile on your lips. “Had to pretend to be very wasted so I’d have a reason to leave. I’m still a little tipsy, though.”
“And Oscar bought it?”
Lando can't help but laugh at the memory of Oscar practically dragging him out of the club. “Yeah, apparently he’s very gullible.”
You smile, looking at Lando’s face and studying every feature. The moles on his cheek and neck have always been your favourite feature of his. You love drawing shapes on his skin, as if you were connecting the dots. And that smile of his... The sight of it made you melt.
The elevator dings at your floor and Lando leads both of you towards your room. For some reason, you grow nervous. You’re nervous that this affection won’t be there when he sobers up in the morning, so you’re dreading every second until you go to sleep.
“Did you like the roses?” He asks, setting his stuff down on his bedside table.
You look over at him and smile. “Loved them. Thank you.”
“No need,” he’s quick to shut down your thanks. “I told you, you deserve it.”
“Yeah, but you’ve been sending me roses every week for months now,” you tug off your sweatshirt and get dressed for bed. Lando watches. “I don't do things like that for you, it makes me feel like it's unfair.”
“It's not unfair,” he lays down in the bed, watching as you carefully take off his sweats and place them in your suitcase. “It’s what friends do.”
“Is it?” You ask with a small smirk, getting into the bed. “Do friends also share a bed?”
“If it's cheaper, yeah.” He references the prices of the hotel and how expensive it would’ve been if you had gotten a room with two beds instead of one.
You look at him with a soft smile. “You’re rich enough to afford a bigger hotel room.”
“Are you complaining about sharing a bed?” Lando raises a brow, playfully. You shake your head. “Alright, then come here,” he raises his arm and invites you to cuddle with him. Again, not the first time you’ve done that, but something about this time feels different.
There’s something different about you when you lay your head on his chest and something different about him when he wraps his arm around you. It’s a lot more gentle. Maybe more loving?
Lando wonders the same. “Do you think friends cuddle?”
You can tell it's his tipsiness talking, but still, you reply. “Yeah, all the time.”
You feel his chest rise with a sigh. Lando’s not sure what he wants you to say. Maybe he’s looking for a reason not to be platonic with you. Maybe he’s looking for things that you two do that aren't considered platonic. Though, many would consider this not platonic. The way he’s wrapped around you is incredibly loving, if anything.
Neither of you are sure when you started doing not-so-platonic platonic things, but you’ve been enjoying it. The occasional nicknames, forehead kisses, hugs that last longer than they should, cuddles, longing stares across a crowded room.
Somehow, you always manage to find each other, even in a sea of others.
“Lando,” you look up at him and notice he was already looking at you. You’re not sure what you want to say to him. There’s so much to say, yet so little comes to mind. One look at him and all your thoughts, even the most coherent ones, become a jumbled mess.
Lando presses a kiss into your hairline. “Hm?”
You don't answer for a while. The hand that was resting draped across his torso slowly trails up to his jaw. Your fingers trace his jawbone and trail up to his moles, playing connect the dots with each and every one of them. Lando’s breathing became more jagged when your thumb traced his bottom lip.
As your hand cups the right side of his jaw, you ask.
“Can I kiss you?”
“Please.”
That’s all that it took. The soft plea that left Lando’s soft lips urged you to gently place your own against his. You don't move at first. He doesn't either. Your lips stay touching but neither of you move, either too scared of being pushy or too scared to take it too far.
Lando’s the first one to initiate any movement. His lips start moving against yours and your lips copy. It doesn't take long for you to find a good rhythm. Everyone always says you two were made for each other, and this was the moment you realised it’s true.
Your fingers tangle in his hair and his hands travel to your waist. There’s nothing awkward about this, you somehow already know what to do and how to act in a way that’s far from your usual ‘platonic’ acts.
When you softly tug on his hair as you deepen the kiss, Lando whimpers into your mouth and it might be your favourite sound. “Touch me,” he says, under his breath.
Your hand trails down from his hair, down his back, making sure to softly caress it as it reaches the hemline of his boxers. Your hand softly runs over his side, making his skin erupt in goosebumps. “Still ticklish, Norris?” You smile against his lips.
“Mhm,” he replies, his hands pulling your hips to roll against his. You feel his erection pressing onto your pelvis, making the ache in the pit of your stomach worse. “Now stop teasing me.”
The hunger in his voice makes you quicken your movements. You place your hand over his clothed erection and when you wrap your hand around it, a small moan leaves his lips. You’ve barely touched him, yet he’s a moaning mess in your hands.
Your lips press onto his harsher as you begin palming him through his boxers. There’s barely any stimulation happening to his cock, but the mere thought of you being the one to touch him like this, makes him more sensitive to any kind of physical contact with you. He wants to savour and feel every last ounce of your attention tonight, because he’s not sure what this means for your friendship afterwards.
You wrap your hand around his cock and apply some pressure when you stroke him. He’s a moaning mess, softly whimpering as you bite his bottom lip. It takes a few more strokes until you can tell he’s close, so you pull away.
Lando’s confused eyes lock with yours only to realise you’re unclasping your bra and tugging off your panties. He does the same and drops his boxers on the floor, his erection hitting his abdomen with a soft slap. It’s almost like Lando can read your mind when he lays on his back and places his hands on your waist as you sit on his thighs, not daring to take him.
“You scared?” He asks, softly. You knew he had some length, but it didn't seem that long through swimming trunks or boxers. Not to mention the intimidating combo of length and girth Lando seems to be blessed with. When you nod, he slowly flips you over to lay on your back. “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”
He places a small kiss on your forehead and you feel his hand reaching down to your pussy, a finger slipping between the folds. “So wet for me.” Lando mumbles against your lips. You feel him lining the tip up with your entrance, but he doesn't move it past that.
Lando keeps it there as he softly kisses you, his lips trailing your jaw, neck, collarbone. He leaves small bites and hickeys, earning enough moans from you to last him months of remembering this moment for when he needs you again.
When you whimper into Lando’s mouth, your hips jolting closer to what you want, Lando smirks. “You want it, hm? You want me to fuck you dumb, pretty girl?”
“Mhm,” you mumble against his lips. “Please.”
You feel him pushing his cock into you, the size of it stretching your walls in a way you couldn't have ever imagined. A slow moan leaves your lips and he’s only halfway in.
“Taking me so well, aren't you?” He kisses your neck, licking a spot before softly sinking his teeth into your tender skin. It hurts but fuck, does it feel good. Lando pushes his whole length into you with a short thrust and you gasp at the sudden feeling of him hitting your cervix.
“Lando,” you call out when he slowly pulls out and slowly thrusts back in. “Fuck.”
“You can take it, baby,” he mumbles against your lips, as he pulls out slowly again. This time, his thrust is more aggressive. You feel him slowly speeding up, your moans only increasing in frequency. The shape of his cock and the way he stretches your walls makes your mind go dizzy.
Lando trails kisses down your chest, placing as many hickeys as possible. He wants to make sure you remember tonight. He wants to make sure both of you have a reminder of what happened for days to come.
“Such a good girl,” he lowly hums into your neck, resting his head against your shoulder as his tongue swirls and licks the skin between your collar and jaw. “Pretty pussy all stretched out for me.”
“Fuck,” you squeeze your eyelids shut at the new feeling Lando praising you.
“You like that?” He smirks against your jaw. “Does my pretty girl like praise?”
“Say that again,” you urge him, your hands frantically moving from his hair to his jaw to pull him in for a sloppy kiss. “Tell me I’m yours.”
“You’re mine, baby,” he kisses your lips, his thrusts beginning to turn sloppy. “All mine.”
“All yours,” you affirm against his lips, feeling your own orgasm approaching. “Fuck, Lando. Keep going.”
“You gonna come for me, huh, baby?” He says between his strained moans, his hips slapping against yours as both of you nearing your highs. “C’mon.”
“I’m about to-” your sentence is cut off by a loud moan when Lando’s hand slips between your bodies to find your clit. He starts rubbing the throbbing bud in circles, applying pressure from time to time.
“I’m right there with you, baby, let go.” He kisses you again and again, slowly slipping away to nuzzle his head into your shoulder when both of you moan in pleasure. You feel his warmth spread inside you and he’s sure he’s never felt anything like this before.
He thrusts the cum into you before pulling out and flopping on his back. Both of you are a sweaty mess, still kissing. After a short while, Lando gets up to go get a towel and clean both of you up, and you change the sheets before laying back down.
“So…” your head rests on his chest when you begin to talk. You look up at him, worry slowly filling up your system.. “Still glad you left the party?”
Lando laughs. “There's no place I’d rather be.”
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becca-e-barnes · 8 months
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Imagine being stepdad Bucky’s dirty little secret😩🤫
I've been listening to 'Bad Man' by FIGHTMASTER and it's inspired some filthy fantasies that would fit stepdad Bucky perfectly 🤤
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I have so much I'd like to talk about but I'll start with how hot it would be to have him catch you playing with a toy when you think no one is home. Especially if you'd already been sleeping together but maybe you decided to stop when you got a new boyfriend.
You were so sure the house was empty, you didn't even think twice about slipping your vibrator from it's hiding spot. With your earphones in, you hadn't heard the footsteps down the hallway towards your bedroom. You didn't notice that your door wasn't closed tight either. All that mattered was the delightful buzzing of the toy against your clit, your hand squeezing your own breasts and the flithy thoughts that inspired you to touch yourself.
Fuck, this was a show for Bucky. He hadn't meant to invade your privacy but he wasn't quite sure how to look away. The memory of you writhing in pleasure kept him up at night but now he's getting to see it up close again.
"You really ought to close your door if you're going to do that, sweetheart." You miss the first half of what he said because you weren't able to take your earphones out fast enough, choosing instead to cover yourself.
Bucky only rolls his eyes. "No point covering up, honey. Did you forget I've kissed, licked or bitten pretty much every inch of you already?" There's an overwhelming cockiness in his tone and it makes knots twist in your stomach.
"Look, if that new guy you're dating can't take care of you, you only had to tell me." He steps inside and closes the door behind him and you swear he hasn't taken his eyes off you yet. "I'm not surprised he's not enough for you. I bet he's selfish, isn't he. He doesn't think about you. He won't take the time to learn what you like. He can't make your thighs shake the way I do."
His stare is intense but when you look away, he catches under your chin with two fingers, redirecting your line of sight back to him.
"You don't need to be shy." His voice is soothing, his hand creeping under the sheets and you don't make any effort to stop him from finding what he's looking for. He trails his fingers up your thigh, groaning softly when his fingertips reach the slick, messy folds of your sex.
"We shouldn't do this..." You protest feebly but that only makes him laugh.
"You're right. We shouldn't. So tell me why you're grinding yourself against my fingers like you're in heat." It's humiliating but he's got a point. "If he's not taking care of you, I'll have to remind you how sex is supposed to feel." Two of his thick, long fingers glide into your eager body and you feel him hook them inside you exactly how you always loved.
"You don't know how many times I've stroked my cock and tried to remember exactly what this little cunt feels like. I’ve tried to remember the way you squeeze me when you're cumming. Nothing feels like you do. Your body is a fucking luxury." He's losing his self control far faster than he wants to.
"Get on your hands and knees." It's an order you only start to respond to when he slips his fingers out of you and you reposition yourself in front of him. He tugs his zipper down, freeing himself from his underwear, giving his cock a few firm strokes before lining it up with your entrance.
"Oh sweetheart, it's been a while." He groans, pressing just the tip into you at first.
"Feels so fucking good." You babble, pressing yourself back on him, encouraging him to inch into your body. You haven't felt this blissed out in months and he's only getting started. You knew this wouldn't last. There was no way you'd be able to turn down the one man who truly knows your body. He understands your needs in a way no one else has ever even tried to. Maybe it's the age difference or the extra experience he's got but this man really understands your pleasure.
"Fuck, it does, doesn't it?" He laughs, pressing the rest of the way into you and giving you a couple of sharp, half thrusts.
It's not long before he's established a good rhythm, his cock slipping in and out of you while he reaches around you to rub your clit. You feel him kissing the back of your neck, groaning against your skin that he missed your body, up until a faint buzzing sound makes him pause.
At first you'd thought your vibrator switched back on but then you notice your phone screen illuminated on the sheets beside you and your boyfriend's face filling the screen.
"Answer it." Bucky demands, resuming his thrusts at the same pace as before. "I want you to answer it. Tell him what we're doing. Or hide it from him. It's up to you."
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mintmatcha · 3 months
Text
tw: implied abuse, no curses au
"Can I ask a question?" Yuuji digs his heel into the wood chips as he swings, digging a growing trench behind him. "You don't have to answer."
Ash falls from the end of Choso's cigarette. He leans against the anchor of the swing set, cheek against cold metal, and sighs. Twilight has passed and the streetlights have turned on, giving the playground a hazy, barely lit glow. Yuuji's guardian will start calling soon, but Choso decides the extra time together is worth the future ire.
"I already told you that I'm not giving you a tattoo."
"Aw, damn-" Yuuji clicks his tongue against his teeth. Ever since they met, he's been dying for a tattoo of his own, throwing out wild new ideas almost every day. One day, when he's eighteen and likes an idea for more than a month, Choso will bring him to his studio and comply.
But, not yet.
"That wasn't my question though," Yuuji says.
"Then go for it."
The younger boy takes a deep breath, then lets it out even slower, pulling the tension longer and longer until it snaps.
"Why weren't you... around? Like, when I was a kid and stuff."
Choso takes his own breath.
"Your mom-- our mom." The taste of that sits bitter on his tongue. He never called her mom, even back then. "She was different for me."
And for our other brothers, he adds silently. Yuuji doesn't need to carry that weight yet, the knowledge that he was the exception to it all.
"Why?" Yuuji pumps his legs a little softer, the back and forth motion of the swing slowly dying out.
"I dunno." Choso wishes he had the answer to that. "She was sixteen, did bad things. Don't worry about it."
Finding out about Yuuji wasn't a shock, somehow. Years after Ken had surrendered her children to the state, Choso had received noticed that she had died. The news felt overdue. No tears were shed, no love lost; the group chat of siblings had all agreed not to go to any service, but the day of, Choso had changed his mind.
He had put on his nicest outfit -some thrift store pants that didn't fit and a shirt he stole from foster dad three- and went expecting to be the only one there, the only one willing to say goodbye.
Choso hadn't known about her new family. They hadn't known about him either. It was typical of Ken to leave a mess in her wake.
Turns out, through a series of lucky breaks, the woman had clawed her way out of poverty and into the arms of a rich, but nice man. Her life was easy and sweet, filled with luxuries and love, including a son ten years younger than her eldest.
No one knows why Yuuji was different than the others, why she decided to be good to him and no one else. Mental illness is strange like that, picking and choosing how it pleases.
Yuuji huffs, gripping the metal chains tighter. "But-"
"Yuuji." Choso drops his cigarette and crushes it under his boot. Then, he thinks about the child that will play there tomorrow, shoveling wood chips into their mouths like idiots, and decides to pick it up. He jams it into his pocket. "You have good memories of her. Don't ruin that."
He used to resent how much Yuuji loved her. He was eight when she died, the same age Choso was when he first had to dial 911 for her. That anger had long faded, replaced with a strange amount of pity.
"But I want to know. What she did and stuff." Yuuji's voice jumps high with emotion. "I'm basically an adult, I can handle it."
"You're sixteen."
"Well, mom was doing this stuff at sixteen, so-" Yuuji is seething suddenly, brow furrowed and teeth grit.
"So?"
"So, she was old enough to be doing bad things and I'm not old enough to know about it?" He stands and the swing clatters behind him. He's stocky, yet tall, bunched with muscles that he's built from baseball. On one side of his cheek, there's a bit of chocolate stuck there, a remnant from the ice cream Choso bought him. Below it, there's a rosy hickey on his neck, a remnant of the boyfriend he hasn't told Nanami about yet. He thinks they're having sex, maybe, but doesn't know how to broach the topic without scaring his brother into never talking about it again.
"And you had tattoos at my age, by the way!"
Choso lets him stew in it, huffing and puffing. The blown out edges of first tattoo peek from under his sleeve, the image barely legible now. An older woman gave it to him at fifteen, in the basement of her house. It became so insanely infected that he ended up in the ER a couple days later.
"I'm not a kid. I can handle it." Yuuji states, calm and clear. "I'm not a kid."
A car passes, it's headlights stretching and pulling the shadows across the park. In the changes, Choso can see his mother in his brother, those soft eyes and thin lips and the same slightly crooked nose that Choso has himself. He thinks, maybe, if time was kinder and his father was better, they'd look more alike each other, but then the moment is gone and they no longer even look like siblings.
"Okay."
Yuuji untenses a bit. "Okay?"
"Okay."
"Like, okay, this conversation is done, or okay, I'll tell you?"
"I'll tell you," Choso says, jamming his hands in his pocket. The cigarette butt is there, mushed and still warm against his knuckles. "But not tonight."
"What?!"
"Next time, I promise."
Choso doesn't understand why Yuuji insists on rushing away from innocence, but he knows that he can't stop him. Yuuji will find out about the abuse, the neglect, the other brothers, and the other horrors in some way or another and then things will never be the same.
"Stay a kid just a little longer." Choso resists the urge to ruffle his hair. "For me?"
"Yeah, sure," Yuuji sighs. "One more day."
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😴😴😴 (to find later) AITA for putting sleeping pills in my boyfriend's drinks without him knowing?
I know this sounds absolutely awful, but please bear with me.
Basically, me (27 m) and my boyfriend (26 m) have been living together for around five years, meaning we usually also sleep together. Or at least we try, since my BF suffers from terrible insomnia and reoccurring nightmares so bad sometimes he wakes up into a full on anxiety attack. He does go to therapy and has prescribed sleeping pills, but he hates taking them because he's always afraid that when he does fall asleep he's just going to have nightmares, (which also just makes him avoid sleeping in general even not including his insomnia).
Usually I try to help him by staying up with him, watching his favorite show while cozied up on the couch under a bunch of blankets and with a hot coco, or we do something else that he likes and helps him relax. I really don't mind, I love him and I love spending time with him. However, it used to be that he would fall asleep at around 3-4 AM, but as time went on he started staying up longer and longer, until at a certain point I literally had to start leaving for work in the morning while he still hadn't gotten any sleep.
This was an issue for two reasons: 1. Obviously, without me there he felt even less comfortable and had an even harder time falling asleep, sometimes staying up for even 48 hours (or maybe more, I'm not sure) just to wait for me to come back home so I could help him unwind again. 2. He actually started lying to me about sleeping while I wasn't home, so that I would go to sleep normally and let him stay awake because "he wasn't tired" even though I could clearly tell he was.
That's when I started getting seriously concerned and questioning him about how much he actually sleeps, especially since I could see it was affecting him more and more both mentally and physically. He was avoidant about the topic but I pleaded with him to talk to his therapist about it, to try and find anything else to help him. Apparently his therapist just told him to keep using his sleeping pills to help with the insomnia, and if they're not working she'll look into prescribing him stronger ones. Yet despite that he still insists on not taking them and just going to bed normally even though it's clearly not working.
To clarify: as far as I'm aware, he has no negative side-effects from these sleeping pills, he's never complained about feeling any pain or feeling worse after taking them or anything like that. Literally he only doesn't want to take them because he's just that afraid of going to sleep.
That's why whenever we stay up nowadays, I always add a small dose to his cup of coco, which thankfully has a strong enough taste to cover the pills (I've tried a small bit myself and couldn't tell a difference). Since I started doing that, he's been regularly falling asleep before 2AM and even though the nightmares still sometimes wake him up or make him feel a bit tired in the morning, overall he's been doing much better.
Still, I do feel bad about putting stuff in his drinks without his knowledge even if it's for his own good. I really wonder if I should stop, but I'm really scared that if I do, he'll start spiralling again. I want to help him and be there for him but I've already tried talking about it and it never worked. So, AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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sgtgarricks · 2 months
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afab!reader
i think john price would be sooo incredibly oblivious to your advances to the point it pisses you off.
imagine you've had a crush on your captain for a few months now, you've dug around information and find out that yes, he is single.
so you get to work.
you smile at him whenever you see him (the only other person you usually smile at is soap). you try to stay later than usual to catch him leaving just so you can have a few minutes of extra conversation with him.
you're kind of touchy (but not too much), brushing your fingers with him whenever you get the chance. whenever you get called into his office, you make sure to crack a joke or two, just to see his eyes crinkle.
you were down bad for him. like, really bad. whenever he even slightly smiles or praises you, you preen like you just won a gold medal and your face feels hot.
so, you genuinely don't understand how he seems so unfazed?? at the very least he should've felt something was up and rejected you if he wasn't into it. but nope, he's still smiling at you, ruffling your hair.
okay, you think maybe you're being too subtle. it's been three months and there isn't any response.
you begin to bring him little gifts. nothing expensive or big, trinkets that would fit in your pocket. a little keychain of a cigar, a pin of his favorite football club, packets of his favorite coffee flavor.
"oh, what's this for then?" he'd asked, glancing at the little keychain.
"nothin'. just saw it and reminded me of you!" you grin happily. he still seems confused, but accepts your gift anyway.
"thank you, that's very kind of you :)" he gifted you one or two items, even going as far to let you ride shotgun on missions. you were feeling fairly optimistic.
this goes on for another three months, you bringing him something once every two weeks. it's gotten to the point where even soap and gaz have realized what's up (simon doesn't give a fuck).
"you got favorites now? don't think we've ever received a gift from 'em gaz." soap loves to make fun of your infatuation with price. gaz doesn't start anything, but he'd gladly chime in.
after half a year, you're pissed off. because how has he not said anything yet?? you thought he was starting to catch your drift but apparently not. he was either leading you on or genuinely thinks you were just being friendly.
you're over the top now, even simon's cringing slightly at you blatantly gushing over the captain.
you were linking your arm with his if you two walked somewhere together (his forehead did the little scrunch from confusion but didn't say anything).
anytime he wanted to show you something, you'd come around and stand as close to him as possible. one time you even put your head on his shoulder to read the document.
even your jokes had gotten more flirtatious without being overtly sexual. yet still... nothing.
you were pissed. you've been throwing yourself at him every chance you got, any more you'd get written up for fraternization. the next time all of you go out for drinks at the pub, you decide it's do or die.
you put on your best dress, one that hugs your figure nicely. you even do your hair and put a bit of make up on. tonight was the night you were either going to have your heart broken or have a good time.
when you open the door to the pub, you know gaz spots you first judging by the drink he just spat. soap turns and whistles, laughing loudly (simon didn't come). you see price is missing, but you find him at the bar ordering drinks. you slink next to him.
"another one for me?" he spins at the sound of your voice, eyes going wide for a fraction of a second. he coughs and brings up another finger to the bartender.
"you look..." he begins, you inch yourself forward to hear him better and shove something in his face. "different." the smile instantly drops from your face. you pull him away from the bar easily (he let you) and drag him outside.
"why are we out here?" he questions innocently. you huff, not believing the audacity of this man in front of you.
"captain. with all due respect, i don't know how many more signs i can give you before i lose my mind. i have my tits out," you gesture at them and his eyes falls downwards before going back to your face, "and you haven't even looked once."
"i like you, you can kiss me right now or tell me to fuck off and transfer me." you cross your arms, lips turning down into a frown. he was in shock, you can almost physically see a loading bar on top of his head.
to your surprise, he cups your face and leans down to kiss you. your heart was thumping and mouth slightly agape, but the only response you could think of was, "were you really that oblivious?"
"sorry, love. i thought you were just trying to ride shotgun." he grins.
what an idiot (affectionate).
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notes: ahfudshf my stupid old man <3
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aajxs · 9 months
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middle of the night , a.s
synopsis - the one where anakin got so crossfaded at a party one night that he had to text you to take him back to the apartment he shared with your older brother, but somehow ended up at yours.
pairings - anakin skywalker x fem!reader (modern au)
warnings - mentions of alcohol and weed use , anakin being a hater , protective anakin , kinda possessive anakin , mentions ani having naughty thoughts , whiny anakin , cute til it AINT , inexperienced reader , titty sucking , oral (f receiving) , praise kink and degradation kink , fingering , p in v sex , kinda clothed sex?? (anakin doesn't take his pants off all the way) , poorly written smut
w/c - 5.9k (WOW.)
a/n - negl I got sloppy af at the end cuz idk how to properly write smut!!! this is an alternate ending to a prompt in my bbf!anakin post. also for my sake please ignore any spelling or punctuation errors lmfao. anyways, enjoy! <33
masterlist .
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You had just gotten out of the shower, still wrapped in a towel, when your phone vibrated from its spot on your bed. You didn't bother looking, assuming it was someone posting to their story or a notification from a dumb game you downloaded and haven't played before (yet still wouldn't delete it.)
You dried off then got dressed, slipping into a black tank top and a pair of shorts. Your phone vibrated a few more times, so you grabbed it as you made your way back into your bathroom to brush your teeth. All of the notifications were from Anakin, who rarely texted you. You unlocked your phone and read all of the texts, a few consisting of a bunch of gibberish and another that had an almost fully readable text.
'csn you come oick me up? ill sendn yoy my location' It read, making you let out a small laugh as you brushed your teeth. Anakin obviously wasn't sober, you could tell because on the rare occasion that he did text you, it was nowhere close to like this. You then got a notification, that being his live location. He was serious?
He was about ten minutes away, but with it being night and there being few cars on the road, you could get there in five. If you were an experienced driver, that is. Anakin knew that you weren't a very good driver, he had been in your car with you driving it enough times to know. Yet he still decided to text you instead of your brother, who's literally his roommate.
You texted him back, telling him that you'd be there in ten minutes before shoving your phone into your pocket. You quickly finished brushing your teeth then rushed around your apartment. You grabbed your keys, your wallet just in case, and bottle of water from your fridge for Anakin, then put on some slippers and exited your apartment.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket, making you grab it and read whatever Anakin had sent you this time. It read, 'pelase hurry therws a rsndom girl grindikg on me right jow'. You smiled at his bluntness before rushing down to your car, texting him a quick 'omw rn ani' as you started your car and began driving to Anakin's location.
It didn't surprise you as much as it should have that Anakin texted you, there was obviously a reason, and most were guessable. He probably knew your brother was asleep and didn't want to burden him, and as someone who has had to live with your older brother for years, you knew that he probably would have gone back to bed and forgot about Anakin.
You never expected brother's best friend would be texting you and asking you to come pick him up from a random party. Although, Anakin has contacted you on worse terms.
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Anakin didn't know why he texted you of all people, but for some odd reason it felt so right. Although you're his best friends little sister, he never really thought of you as a friend or sister figure. Anakin always thought you were cute, and you were just the sibling of one of his friends. He had plenty of friends with little sisters and brothers, so why were you so different?
Maybe it was because you were the sibling of his best friend, not just one of his friends that he only talked to on campus. Maybe it was because you actually talked to him and payed attention to him, and you guys were somewhat friends (seeing as you went through middle and high school together, now college).
Anakin never really paid attention to you throughout middle school or the beginning of high school. He saw you basically every day when he would hang out with your brother, stayed the night at your house more times than he can count, and never had any weird or inappropriate thoughts about you. But when you started... developing, you were pretty hard to ignore.
To Anakin's hormonal teenage mind, developing was the only word he could use to describe you. Anakin had always seen and treated you like a child, so why was he suddenly having these filthy thoughts about you? He never acted on them, he would have been too guilty to ever face you again if he did. The biggest problem Anakin had with his thoughts was knowing that he wasn't the only one thinking of you that way.
Anakin had the privilege of being your older brothers closest, most trustworthy friend. Anytime you wanted to introduce a new boyfriend to your brother, he brought along Anakin. "Me and Anakin were hanging out already so I decided to bring him with me, hope that's alright." Most of the time that actually was the case, but Anakin soon found out that your brother just needed a secondhand opinion.
Anakin didn't think the way the guy looked at you was appropriate? Your brother took it into consideration. Anakin thought he was sketchy? Your brother would hear all about it. Anakin thought he was a bad influence? Your brother was convincing you to break up with the guy. Sometimes Anakin said nice things, then proceeded to spread a fake rumor about the guy just so it would get to you and your brother.
On top of that, Anakin started getting more protective over you. For example; Anakin stayed the night one weekend and him and your brother decided to drive up to the store and buy some snacks because there were none for them to eat. Your brother knew you were staying up late to study for an upcoming test, and asked Anakin if it was alright if you go too, assuming you needed a break. Anakin shrugged and your brother knocked before he opened your door.
You were wearing headphones so you hadn't heard him say your name the first time, so your brother walked up behind you and tapped your shoulder, making you take them off and turn to look at you. "N/N, me and Anakin are gonna go get some snacks. You need a break, so you're gonna go with us." You gave him a nod before locking eyes with Anakin, who was leaning against your doorframe. You looked away as you got out of the office chair that you were sitting in to grab your slippers and phone.
When you were at the store, your brother had wandered off to find a certain snack, leaving you and Anakin alone. You were trying to figure out which Doritos flavor you wanted, and Anakin was observing you as you contemplated. It felt like he blinked and suddenly you were getting talked to by a random guy. You looked uncomfortable, looking around for a moment until your eyes landed on Anakin, who was glaring at the guy.
"Excuse me, I think my boyfriend just said my name." You awkwardly said as you stepped towards Anakin. His eyes practically lit up at the word boyfriend, but decided to brush it off and play the part for your sake. Anakin gave him a small smile before placing his hand on the small of your back, slightly worried that if he put his hand anywhere else he would go crazy. When you both turned around, your brother turned the corner with a couple snacks and three drinks, and Anakin gave him a look before glancing at the guy who was about two meters away.
Your brother was trying to figure out why Anakin was touching you, but before he could say something he put two and two together and brushed it off. He walked towards you both and handed you your drinks before gripping your shoulder, walking on the other side of you. When the three of you walked past the man, he muttered something under his breath that you couldn't hear.
Obviously Anakin and your brother heard what he said, or else they wouldn't have turned their heads in sync. "What the fuck did you just say?" Your brother said, the hand on your shoulder tightening just slightly. "I called her a slut." The guy said louder. Needless to say, you all got kicked out because Anakin decided to punch the guy. You guys ended up getting take-out.
To put it plainly, Anakin didn't exactly like seeing you with other guys, and hated it when he heard anybody call you anything less than perfect. Another problem, was that Anakin knew exactly why.
The reason you were so different, the reason he defended you so often, and the reason he texted you, was because Anakin Skywalker was in love with you.
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You had been waiting outside for a good five minutes before there was a knock on the window of your car. You let out a breath and unlocked the door. When you assumed Anakin wasn't sober, you didn't think it would be this bad. As soon as he opened the door to your car and sat down, you could smell the alcohol and weed on him.
"Anakin you actually stink—" You said, resisting the urge to cover your nose at the smell. "I'll take off my shirt?" He offered before beginning to take off the black t-shirt he was wearing. Even under the influence he was still a sweetheart to you. "No- No, Ani it's fine, I'll just roll down the windows." You said, placing your hand on Anakin's chest to halt his movements as you started driving. You rolled down both of your windows slightly.
There was music quietly playing, and as Anakin reached to turn it up, you swatted his hand. "Rude.." He mumbled before folding his arms across his chest. "Why did you text me, Ani?" You asked, not taking your eyes off the road, "Because I knew you would be a good girl and not say a thing about this." He slightly slurred. You felt yourself shudder at Anakin calling you a 'good girl'.
You felt his burning gaze, and you so badly wanted to look back at him just to see the look in his bloodshot eyes, but you decided against it. "You don't know that." You said with a curt laugh. "I don't? Really? Because I vividly remember that one time you came to me and-" Anakin started, "What a coincidence! I need gas!" You said, cutting off Anakin and pulling into a gas station.
Anakin let out a huff, "Can I trust you to pump my gas while I go in and pay?" You questioned as you parked the car, glancing at Anakin. "Yes ma'am." He said in a serious manner, making you let out a small laugh. "Half a tank is fine." You said as you both got out the car. Anakin went to grab the gas pump whilst you walked into the sketchy gas station and paid for your gas.
"Thanks!" You smiled as you walked out of the building. Almost as soon as you stepped out of the gas station, you ran into someone. "Oh- I'm sorry," You said, backing up a little and glancing at the person in front of you. "No worries, it's my bad. Sorry if this sounds weird, but you're really pretty." He said, looking you up and down, his eyes lingering on your cleavage for a second too long.
You glanced over at your car to see Anakin leaning against it with crossed arms, staring right back at you. "Thank you so much, I appreciate it!" You grinned, "Can I have your number?" He asked bluntly, "Oh, I don't think.." You started, but you were cut off at the shout of your name. You looked over and Anakin was now glaring daggers at the guy in front of you. "I don't think that'll be necessary, thank you though!" You said with a soft smile as you made your way back to your car.
"Under better circumstances I would have thanked you for that, Ani." You said with a sarcastic smile as you both got back into the car. "Oh! I almost forgot that I brought you a water." You said as you grabbed the slightly cold water from the cupholder and handed it to him. "Thanks, you're an angel." Anakin said as he placed a hand on your thigh and gave it a light squeeze as he grabbed the water and chugged at least half of it.
You wanted to give him a reaction, but decided to keep driving and ignore it. He wasn't sober, so he most definitely wasn't thinking straight. "Can we go to your place instead? Its closer." Anakin said almost out of nowhere. "Why would you want to go to my place? You don't live with me?" You asked, glancing at him to see him already looking at you. "Because yours is closer." He said with a tinge of playfulness in his voice.
"But-" You began, "Please?" Anakin said with the smallest whine. Curse him and his dumb pretty voice. "I-" You hesitated, and the look in Anakin's eyes wasn't making this any easier for you. "Okay." You sighed, as you turned the car to the street your apartment complex was on. "But ill have you know that you are not staying the night, just until you're sober enough." You said as you parked your car in your usual parking spot. Anakin let out a breath, content with your answer.
You lived on the fifth floor of the complex, and the elevator just so happened to be out of order, so it was a hassle getting an unbalanced Anakin up the stairs to your apartment. From an outside point of view, it probably looked like both of you were high. Anakin kept cracking jokes, and every time you laughed he added onto it to make you laugh even harder. So by the time you were at the top of the stairwell, you were out of breath from both the laughing and the walking.
"Anakin that's the wrong way," You laughed as Anakin walked towards the wrong door. You heard him mumble a few curse words before turning around and making his way back towards you. You unlocked the door to your apartment and walked inside, allowing Anakin to shut and lock the door behind him. "Cozy." Anakin said as he walked into your room and plopped down onto your bed. "Excuse you-"
"Y/N," Anakin cut you off as he kicked off his shoes, you hummed in response. "Do you remember last summer?" He asked, watching intently as you make your way throughout your room. "What about it?" You said, your voice turning a bit soft at the thought. You sat on your bed, leaning against the headboard with your legs crossed. "You remember how I went on vacation with your family?" Anakin said, rolling over to lay on his stomach to look at you.
"Yes.. where are you going with this Ani?" You said, tilting your head at the man in front of you. "Just- listen. You remember that guy you met at the beach, right? And you remember why I ended up beating the shit out of him the day before we left?" Anakin said as his blue eyes bored into your E/C ones. "No, nobody ever ended up telling me why." You said with a laugh as you gazed back at Anakin. "Do you want to know why?" He asked with a small smile, "Quit teasing, I wouldn't have said anything if I didn't want to know!" You said, extending your leg to kick his shoulder. "Full story, or just a quick summary?" Anakin joked. He knew you, he knew that you wanted the full story. You scoffed at his words and looked at him expectantly.
"I don't remember why, but we ended up walking with each other along the beach while you and your brother were playing around in the water not too far away. We had been talking about.. you, and then he brought me up. He asked what I was to you," Anakin explained, his brows scrunching every few words. "I told him, 'I'm just her older brothers best friend. Sometimes she likes me, sometimes she doesn't'." He said as he ran his hand along your bare calf. You scoffed, "That is such a lie! At first I didn't like you that much, but I always thought of you as a friend!" You said, Anakin frowned slightly at your words.
"Anyways- He said, 'Then you wouldn't mind if I bent her over in that pretty little two piece and fucked her?'. I stopped walking and looked at him. He didn't even notice I paused until I turned him around and punched him in the face," Anakin said with a small, prideful smile. "You wanna know what he said after I hit him a few times? He said, 'I guess you would mind, wouldn't you?'." Anakin said with a curt laugh. "Would you have minded?" You asked sincerely, making Anakin look at you from his spot on the bed. "Do you want the truth?" Anakin asked, tilting his head a bit. You bit your lip and nodded at him, signaling for him to keep talking.
"Yes, I would have." Anakin said as he sat up. "I never told your brother that story, you know? The only person who knows why is the guy." You laughed at his words. "I'm gonna go get a bottle of water, do you want one?" You said, as you got up from your bed, he nodded as you ruffled his hair and walked out of your room. When you left, Anakin was finally able to let out the breath he'd been unconsciously holding in. Your home smelled so much like you, and that scent made Anakin want to go absolutely feral.
Anakin adjusted his position on your bed, now laying down on his side whilst facing the door. "You made yourself comfy." You grinned as you walked back into the room, handing Anakin his water as you took a couple drinks of yours. "Thanks." He muttered as he took a drink of the water. You sat down, your back now against the backboard of your bed. "You still smell like weed." You mumbled as you gave Anakin a soft smile. Anakin didn't smile back, he just looked at you. His once bloodshot eyes were now their usual blue.
One thing you had always noticed about Anakin, was how intense his gaze was. He held eye contact like it would be his last time ever making it, and it made him all the more attractive. Not only was Anakin's stare intense, he was too. If he wasn't a long time friend of yours, you probably would've been scared of him. You had always had a subtle crush on Anakin, but him being your brothers friend always made it rather hard to show your attraction. Anakin was making you nervous with only his eyes.
You cleared your throat, "Why would you have cared?" You asked as you played with the drawstrings on your shorts. "You are so... Is it not obvious by now?" Anakin said as he grabbed your wrist, then sitting up and copying your position. You let out a small gasp, your mouth parting slightly. Anakin saw a chance, and he took it. He leaned in and your lips connected, catching you by surprise. You kissed him back for a moment before realizing that Anakin might've not been sober.
Almost out of instinct, you pulled away. Anakin leaned towards you more, seemingly chasing your lips. You placed a hand on his rock hard chest and softly pushed him away. "Ani.." You muttered, giving him a nervous smile. "Anakin you're not-" You began, but he quickly cut you off. "Y/N, I've been sober for the past twenty minutes. Please just let me taste you." He pleaded lightly, making you curse under your breath before smashing your lips back against his, careful not to hit his teeth with yours.
Anakin put his hands on your hips and moved you on top of him so that you were straddling him, catching you by surprise. Your lips parted and Anakin took this as an invitation, shoving his tongue into your mouth.
One part of you wanted to pull away and tell him how wrong this was, tell him that this was a bad decision and that he needs to go home. The other part of you knows how good this is making you feel, and you can't seem to stop.
Anakin cupped your face with one hand and tugged at your top with the other. He pulled away slightly, a thin string of saliva going with him. "Can I touch you?" Anakin asked, the hand that was once tugging at your shirt now resting on your waist. "Please," You pleaded as you went to kiss him again. He let out a breathy chuckle and sloppily attached his wet lips to yours.
Anakin's hot tongue in your mouth and his wandering hands were getting you all different kinds of worked up. His rough hand made its way up your shirt. You squirmed at both the foreign feeling and how cold his hands were. His hand reached your left breast, and he gave it a light squeeze. "Take your shirt off." Anakin breathily demanded as he pulled away from the kiss. You stared at him for a moment, obviously hesitant to show yourself to him. "You don't have to-" He started before you abruptly stopped him. You took his free hand and covered his eyes with it, "Don't look." You muttered as you took your hand away from his.
You took your tank top off before self-consciously attempting to cover yourself with your arms. Anakin has seen your body multiple times, just in a less.. inappropriate manner. You didn't know if you really wanted him to see you uncovered fully. You gave him a look when he peeked slightly. He saw that you noticed, and decided to take his hand away from his face and reach towards you.
"Ani.." You muttered, your face heating up as Anakin rubbed your arm. He opened his mouth to speak, but right before any words could come out you adjusted your position on his lap, making him let out a moan instead. That has to be the sexiest thing you've heard in your entire life. "Don't use that nickname on me while we're like this." He mumbled, slightly embarrassed at the noise he just let slip. You could feel his hard straining against his sweatpants, poking right at your clothed, throbbing core.
"I took off my shirt, that means you have to take off yours." You hummed, though your voice came out more demanding than expected. Anakin stopped rubbing your arm and took off his shirt in one swift motion before tossing it to the side. Anakin was fit, he always had been. This just made him all the more attractive to you. You wanted to touch him, too, but you were self conscious and didn't want to uncover yourself.
Your thoughts were interrupted by Anakin touching your arm, "Can i?" He asked, referring to the arms you had tightly wrapped around yourself. You looked at him for a few moments before nodding slowly. You loosened your hold around yourself, as if that would've stopped him anyway. Anakin took your hands and moved them down to his toned chest, being sure to run them across his toned abs and v-line.
You could feel yourself heating up at the action, seeing as you had never touched anybody in such a way before. You completely ignored the fact that Anakin was definitely staring at your tits right now, but you couldn't find it in you to care. All you could focus on was what was gonna happen in a few moments, and how you were gonna keep this from your older brother.
Anakin leaned forward and attached his lips to your neck, sucking and licking at random spots. "Don't worry about your brother, if he finds out I'll take care of it." Anakin muttered into your neck. "Okay," You gasped as Anakin softly bit down on your shoulder.
You were even more surprised when Anakin decided to trail down to your breasts and take one into his mouth. He wrapped an arm tightly around your waist and secured you in place, then used his free hand to fondle your other boob.
The small moans you let out were like music to Anakin's ears, and if it were up to him he would bust then and there at the sound of you. He took your breast out of his mouth and planted a kiss on your nipple, then did the same to your other. "Such pretty tits.." He mumbled into the skin between your breasts. "All mine, y' hear me? All mine." Anakin said as he flipped you over and pinned you to the mattress, making you let out a yelp.
Anakin kissed and licked at your torso, sucking on the skin as he worked his way down. He inched closer to the waistband of your shorts at an excruciatingly slow pace, making the knot in your tighten more and more. "Ani, please just touch me already!" You pleaded, making him look up at you through his lashes. "Touch you where, sweet girl?" He teased as he tugged at your waistband, making you rub your legs together. "You know where," You whined as you ran your hands through Anakin's already tangled hair.
He cursed under his breath before pulling down your shorts. Saying you were wet would be an understatement. "You always get this wet when a man touches you, or am I special?" Anakin said as he ran two fingers down the cloth, making you let out a loud moan at the contact. "I-I've never had.." You trailed off, closing your legs and covering your body out of embarrassment. Anakin let out a hum, "I guess I'm special, then." He grinned as he placed his hands on your thighs and parted them for himself once again.
"Can practically smell you baby," He groaned as he literally ripped the panties from your body. "Those were expensive!" You whined as he tossed them to the side. "Such a pretty pussy, all wet jus' for me.." Anakin muttered as he ran a few fingers along your sopping cunt. "Anakin!" You moaned in an irritated voice, still upset that he ripped one of your favorite pairs of underwear. "Fuck- I'll buy you a new pair, whatever you want." He said whilst grabbing your legs and throwing them over his shoulders, giving him perfect access.
Anakin placed a soft kiss on your pussy before licking up from your throbbing hole to your sensitive bud. You let out a whimper at his actions, "Taste so sweet," He mumbled before he practically attacked your cunt, licking and slurping up all your juices like a man starved.
That unfamiliar knot in your stomach grew tighter and tighter with every moan you let out. "An– Anakin!" You loudly moaned without a care in the world. He hummed into your pussy, knowing you had to be getting close. You started babbling nonsense as you roughly grabbed Anakin's long hair and shoved his face further in between your legs.
"Think 'm gonna—" You started before cutting yourself off with the most beautiful moan Anakin's ever heard. Although you were twitching and jolting against him, Anakin didn't stop his advances and even shoved two fingers inside you. Your back was arched off of your bed, Anakin's face and fingers were buried deep in your cunt, and your sheets were most definitely not coming back from this.
Your hips jolted and grinded against his face in a useless attempt to get him further into you, not caring at all if he was suffocating between your legs. Your moans slowly got more drawn out and louder, signalling that you were about to cum again.
Anakin knew you were probably overstimulated but all he could think about was how good you taste on his tongue and how much he wants to stuff you full of his cum. After wetting Anakin's face even more for the second time, he stopped eating you out for your own good. He could probably go all day if you wanted him to.
He wiped his face off with his hand, being sure to lick anything excess off of his skin before wrapping your legs around his waist and giving you a sloppy kiss. "You taste so good." Anakin quietly said into your mouth. You couldn't tell if he was talking about your mouth or your pussy.
"Wan' you inside me, Ani." You whimpered as Anakin placed more kisses along your jawline, "Might be too big for you baby, not sure if you could take me." He muttered into your neck, a cocky smile on his face. "I can take you. Promise I can— Jus' want you in me.." You said, as you brought your hand to his crotch. Though before you could touch the tent on his sweatpants, he grabbed your wrist and pinned both your hands behind your head.
Anakin gave you a boyish grin, making you pout slightly. "Gonna have to warm you up first." He said as he let go of your wrists and brought a hand to your hip, seemingly holding you in place. He brought his other hand back down to your throbbing pussy, and inserted two fingers.
You moaned at this action, surprised that he didn't even try to see how you reacted to one. You're a virgin, that much is obvious. You've probably never been touched in such a way by another person, and even if you have you probably declined any advances because you were scared of losing your dignity. From the way you react to his fingers, you've probably touched yourself a few times before, you just weren't used to hands his size. Needless to say, you were everything Anakin assumed you would be. Your innocence is turning him on a bit too much.
Anakin started off slowly, he'd already made you cum twice, and he didn't want to overwork you. "A-Ani, faster—" You moaned out as his two fingers popped in and out of you. He gave you a cocky smirk before increasing his pace and harshness. He would come out softly then shove his fingers back into you just to hear the pretty noises you let out when he did. "Anakin, 'm gonna cum!" You moaned, as you bucked your hips into his fingers.
You let out a moan as he put another finger inside you, somehow fitting three of his long fingers inside your tight hole. "C'mon baby, y'know I won't hold you back." Anakin said as he leaned over, whispering his words into your ear. Your eyes slightly rolled back into your head as you came all over his long fingers. "What a slut, all that just over my fingers?" Anakin said as he licked his hands clean of your juices. "You taste so good though." He said as he kissed your cheek.
You whimpered as you rubbed your legs together, giving him a look. "Use your words." He teased, that cocky smile on his face once again. You let out an annoyed hum, "You know what I want!" You were starting to get impatient. "What's the magic word, pretty girl?" He asked, giving you another one of his boyish grins. "Please, Ani." You pleaded, making Anakin smile at you.
He pulled his sweatpants and boxers down to his knees, not caring enough to take them all the way off. His cock practically leaped out of his pants, and the first thought that popped inside your head was 'What the fuck have you gotten yourself into.'
That actually looks heavy. You thought to yourself as you actually got a good look at his dick. Anakin wasted no time grabbing his cock and spreading the precum that was leaking from the tip all over his base as some sort of lubrication. He let out a curse or two as he dragged the tip from your sensitive clit to your dripping hole.
Anakin was definitely not thinking about all the ways he could get you pregnant right now. Definitely not. "Stop teasing and fuck me already, Anakin." You moaned out as you stared at his length. He let out a chuckle, making you look at his face. The moan you let out when he shoved the whole thing inside you was probably the most beautiful thing he's ever heard. Your neighbors are gonna be so mad.
"Can I move?" He asked gently, placing both of his hands on your hips. "Fuck— Y-Yes, please, yes-" You let out as your back arched off the bed. Anakin let out a satisfied hum before slowly moving. He'd pull out, making you feel empty for a few moments and then slowly insert his length back into you, filling you up again.
"Faster, Ani-" You moaned, making him fasten his pace. Your toes were curled and your back was arched and your fingers were harshly digging into your mattress and sheets. He slowly but surely started ramming into you, and after just a few thrusts he had your g-spot memorized.
"Fuck, Ani-" You whined as he paused for a moment to wrap your legs around his waist again. With no words, he immediately began ramming into you again. His thrusts were making your entire room shake and the way your bedframe and backboard hit the wall, you almost felt like it would break any second.
There were tears in your eyes and they were wetting your pillow. For a moment Anakin couldn't tell if you were hurting or if it was pleasure. "'m sorry baby, am I hurtin' you?" He asked as he slowed down his thrusts. "Mmh- no! Keep goin' Ani 'm so close—" You whined out as you gripped his shoulders.
The knot in your stomach was slowly getting tighter and tighter and you knew that any second you could come all over his cock. "Harder, Ani!" You moaned out, making Anakin grin for the hundredth time tonight.
His thrusts started getting sloppier, "Wanna cum inside you, fill you with my babies." Anakin said as he pulled your body down onto him. "Wan' you to fill me up Ani, please!" You whined, the both of you knew that you would probably just buy birth control the next morning.
Before the two of you knew it you were both cumming in sync. Anakin filled you up, and when he pulled out he could see the mix of your juices and his leaking into the sheets. He gently dropped your legs onto the mattress before shuffling back to pull his boxers and sweatpants back up.
You were incredibly tired and your throat hurt from all the moaning and screaming. You looked so pretty like this. Anakin thought as he grabbed his discarded shirt from the floor. You quietly said something about your sheets and Anakin dismissed you. "We can take care of your sheets in the morning baby, but right now I need to clean you up." Anakin muttered as he took his shirt and wiped your wet tears from your face before wiping up the mess you two had made between your legs. He gently wiped you down with his shirt, not caring that it was probably ruined.
"I have towels, Ani." You tiredly said before you muttered an apology for not telling him to grab one instead of his shirt. "It's okay, I don't care if it's you." He said under his breath, assuming his words were a bit too intimate to say loud enough for you to hear. "Y'know, I love you." You muttered before drifting asleep.
"I love you too."
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© AAJXS
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yndrgrl · 10 months
Text
katsuki bakugo has a glow up during summer break, & now he has a lot of girls' attention
fluff. ooc! bakugo. bits of jealousy. sfw. x reader. acquaintances to lovers. long ass fic.
a/n: the horny content will continue after this message :) also i kinda got nerdy so just ignore my rambles about fighting haha
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the whispers & murmurs buzzed like bugs throughout the halls of u.a. you couldn't help but eavesdrop when you heard lower classmen gush about how good katsuki looks, how he definitely had a summer glow up.
it's not that he was bad looking before, that's just not the case. so, when you heard that he somehow got hotter over the span of a few months, you grew curious.
your best friend, ochaco, began to rave about him. "no, you don't understand, y/n. have you seen him yet?"
"i haven't yet, but it doesn't matter! he's still rude as hell!" you told her. "besides, aren't you still going after midoriya?"
"yeah, but i can still appreciate attractive people," she retorted, shoving the rest of her her breakfast-on-the-go in her mouth. you fished your phone out of your school cardigan pocket to change your music when, like a kdrama (or a shitty fanfic), you ran into something-- no, someone.
speak of the devil. "oi! watch it!" the abrasive blonde spun around & met your eyes. his harden glare soften oh so subtly.
"i'm sorry," you quaintly apologized. it's the first day & the first hour of the next 180 days, & you're not going to get in a fight.
"it's whatever, just make sure where you're going next time," katsuki responded. his tone was still harsh, yet what he said was almost nice.
he walked off into the both of yours' classroom, leaving you & ochaco stunned. you both stared at each other, mouths agape. "what just happened?" she finally spat out.
"i have no idea."
"WAS HE JUST NICE?"
a week later, you sat in class, listening to mr. aizawa drone on about something so utterly boring, you'd rather stick your head in a toilet & flush it yourself. you let your eyes wander around the class. for the most part, everyone stayed the same.
then, your eyes landed on katsuki, who was seated by the window. now that you had time to think about it, he did change. his jawline was a tad sharper, his hair appeared more soft, & his shirt clung onto every inch of his upper body. he definitely bulked up during the summer.
his skin is clear, he must've also began caring for a sense of style because his fingers displayed grunge rings, & his eyes were somehow a darker, more alluring shade of crimson. wait, his eyes... were staring at you.
no, he was staring at you staring at him.
god, you felt like a creep. you were expecting him to yell at you, scowl through gritted teeth, but no. he didn't do any of that. he shot you a smirk, then went back to jotting notes.
confusion settled in after embarrassment. you couldn't help that a light pink dusted your cheeks. it wasn't noticeable though, thank goodness.
the subtle, weird antics didn't stop. maybe he's just playing with me or something, you wondered. or maybe i'm looking too much into thinks.
when passing him in the halls, he'd acknowledge you by giving you a small nod-- even if his friends were talking his ears off. he'd hold the doors open for you & only you, but would walk away quickly. he was treating you differently then he treats everyone else, & you don't know why.
"bakugo~" a girl you barely recognized greeted. "you look handsome today!"
he & his friends sat on the other side of your friends' long table. you were the closest to his squad, only three seats away from them. they could hear your conversations, but that means you could hear theirs.
"shut it, & eat your food," he scoffed, rolling his eyes. with his chopsticks, he picked at his bento box.
"ooo~ what did you pack?" she pressed as she inched closer to him. "aww, did your mom make that?"
"no, i did," he raised his voice. she wouldn't take the hint though.
she merely giggled, asking, "could you feed it to me? i wanna try some~" she crossed her arms under her breasts to intensify her cleavage. she was picture perfect, to say the least. any other guy would be drooling at the sight of her.
not bakugo though. he was goal-oriented, focused on the future, & not into dating from what you gathered. a small part of you is bummed out that he isn't interested in romance. he was practically everything you wanted in a guy after all-- just minus the whole "jerk" part.
"what are you looking at, bakugo?" you didn't realize you were staring -once again- until the girl whipped her head around & caught your gaze. her cattish smile dropped into a thin line. "quit staring, idiot-"
"don't call her that, bitch."
both yours & her eyes widened at the quickness & unexpected defensiveness spewed by bakugo. he stuck some of his egg omelette in his mouth, unbothered.
"wh-what? i don't think i heard you, bakugo."
he swallowed his food, ran his tongue across his top teeth, and started to pick up more food with his chopsticks, reiterating, "don't talk to y/n like that, got it?" he put the food in his mouth.
she scoffed, humiliated. "i have to leave," she said, voice dropping at least an octave. your eyes trailed her as she sat with her friends, & they immediately began gossiping. how could you tell? the way they all looked back at you with a nasty expression on their faces.
you returned your attention back to bakugo, who had both your friends & his friends floored with what just happened. "thanks for that," you started. "you really didn't have to do that."
"i know i didn't, but someone had to shut her up."
you replied, "i mean, i'm sure there was a nicer way."
"i tried," he told you with that small smirk on his face again. "she didn't get the hint, i have to be more obvious."
"yeah, in more ways than one," a friend on his side, sero, snickered.
"hey, what's that supposed to mean?!" classic katsuki, reverting back to yelling.
ever since that happened, your friends haven't stopped talking about it since. "guys, c'mon. it's almost been a week," you groaned. you were all getting ready in the school locker room to do hand-to-hand, no quirk combat with a celebrated instructor.
"i think bakugo likes you~" ochaco teased in a sing-songy voice.
you tried to reason, "maybe he was just annoyed with her, & it has nothing to do with me."
"i don't know, y/n," momo laughed, pulling her hair into a ponytail. "he seemed pretty into you."
"no way, not bakugo-"
"well, why not bakugo?" mina, who just so happened to be good friends with said man, asked while she slipped on her shoes.
"because we all know what he's like. he doesn't really scream the dating type, you know?" you grabbed a water bottle & locked your back into your locker.
mina shrugged, & ochaco said, "you said one time that bakugo was the closest to your type... do you like him?"
"WHAT?"
the rest of the conversation was cut short when tsuyu pointed out they should be in the training room by now, causing all the girls to scramble out of the locker room.
the instructor, once the bell rang, introduced himself. he was a nice man seemingly. he was a well-seasoned martial artist who knew what he was talking about.
after his brief speech, he had his assistant -a younger, more egotistical guy- be his dummy when explaining a move. "does anyone have any questions?" he asked. no one answered. "cool, find a partner, & try it out."
everyone scurried to find their partners. pair by pair, no one chose you... all except-
"hey you, be my partner," bakugo practically demanded.
"me?"
"no, the wall behind you. yes, you, y/n," he joked, the same smirk only you get to see on his face. this time, however, it was a full-blown smirk.
"are you sure?"
"yeah," he scoffed, dragging you by the arm to an empty space. he studied how your face contorted from surprise to concern. "listen, if you think you're gonna drag me down or whatever, you're not-"
"no, it's not that," you interrupted. you felt your pride inflate slightly.
"then what is it?"
"i just don't want to hurt you."
it was his turn to be shocked. what did you mean by that?
the first hour went by, techniques were taught, & moves were learned. however, now it was the time that really put things to the test: open spar. it was at this time in training when things got heated. everyone in the room gives it their all no matter what, so the atmosphere turns into something animalistic, yet so empowering.
but before that, is a small water break. speaking of water, where did you leave yours? you swear you brought it in. bakugo must've seen how confused you appeared when he offered (or told you), "here, take some of mine."
too thirsty to even care the open-mouthed expressions from your peers, you took the bottle from his outstretched hand. "thank you!" you cheered, taking a few sips then handing it back to him.
"was that even enough? you barely drank anything," he jested. it sounded like he was teasing you, but, again, he said something like he cared about your well-being.
"yeah, i'll be fine. the worst that can happen is i'll faint."
"you better not. i need a good training partner."
"oh whatever, you're getting a good training partner."
suddenly, the instructor boomed, "water break is over! get back with your partner for sparring!"
once everyone huddled back with their partners & got situated, the instructor explained briefly that everyone will be grappling ("no striking" he repeated ten times as well) five minute rounds, switch partners, another five minute round, & so on so forth. "alright got it?"
"yes sir!"
"good," he nodded to his assistant, who got the stop watch ready, "3, 2, 1, go!"
yoy & katsuki go into your stances. one thing about being shorter than him is that, in the game of wrestling, you're at in advantage at first. "don't go easy on me," you told him, it was meant as a warning
"i was just about to tell you i wasn't." the moment he finished, he took a double-leg shot. it was executed near flawless-- emphasis on the near.
you sprawled your legs back, collapsing your body on top of his. you drove your shoulder into his neck, which resulted in bakugo's face smushed against the mat. he might be strong, but no one's neck is that strong to hold up an entire person. you heard him audibly groan "fuck!"
you caught his arm & his head with one of yours. the two of you were on your knees, but your goal was to get him flat, stomach down. with his trapped arm & leg, you pulled him out from under you & quickly sped towards his back. you mounted him, keeping yourself close to his. you gazed up at your instructor, who gave you a knowing nod of approval.
like a good fighter, katsuki sprung his head up. he missed your nose, instead having his skull collide with your cheek. it hurt, but you had to keep going. "since when did you learn how to wrestle?"
"what do you mean?" you thought everyone knew. you swore that you've mentioned it in front of the class.
"you're fucking good, you know that?" he praised as he fought of your hands.
"you're not too bad yourself," you told him before you crossbody locked him.
"no, i'm being serious. you're too damn good. you're gonna be my partner every time we grapple."
you & bakugo, now you call him katsuki, have only grown closer since then. he would take time out of his study session to ensure you understood the material. before he could finish, the library assistant -a girl around your age- would ask if he needed help with anything, shy blush on her face.
other times he'd walk with you back to your dorms when a group of girls would ask for his number.
it was a constant occurrence; girls notice him, ask for something, then ultimately get rejected. it wasn't in a nice way either. he always degraded & humiliated them, but they'd let him because of how handsome he was.
it was a saturday afternoon where you & katsuki got food from a nearby convenience store & sat in the park. no scheduled training or overwhelming amounts of homework. he insisted on paying for you, & who are you to reject free food?
"okay, but i really have to ask," you started, eating your food, "why aren't you dating anyone?"
"i don't know," he simply put it, downing a bottle of a protein drink.
"you do know, you're just not telling me." you actually didn't know if that was true, you were just bluffing.
"fine, i'm just waiting for a some girl to realize i like her," he admitted so nonchalantly, as if he didn't drop a mind bomb.
your mood dampened. he was your dream guy, the more you hung out with him. you might have developed a crush on him, yet you didn't even realize he liked anyone else.
"no way! who?" you had to sound enthused or he would know something was up.
"no one, forget i said anything," he cleared.
"i want to know~ i can help find out her favorite flowers or something so you can confess!"
"really?" he asked, brow quirked. you nodded your head.
"tch, alright. what's your favorite flower?"
that didn't make any sense. "what?"
"you said that you're gonna help me confess, so what's your favorite flower?"
"katsuki, i don't think she has the same favorite flower than me."
"oh my god, you're so fuckin' dense," he muttered under his breath. "i want to know your favorite flower, y/n, so i can confess." his cheeks reddened as he gave you intense stare, studying your expression. it was still confused.
"confess to who-" he cut you off by putting his hand behind your head & pulling you into a kiss. it was gentle, passionate, & truly shocking to you.
"confess to you, idiot," he panted when the two of you pulled away. "i'm already here," he said with a fuck-it attitude.
"y/n, i've liked you for a long time, a really long time. i thought i made it obvious but you never really caught on cuz you're a dumbass or something."
you laughed, & he smiled at you.
he continued, "so then shitty hair told me i had to make it even more obvious, so that's what i've been doing this entire year."
"but all those girls-"
"yeah well i didn't know i was getting a fan club this year. honestly, they don't fuckin' matter though. what matters is you & i," he told you, his face still so close to yours. "so tell me, if you feel the same."
"i-i do," you stuttered out. in your defense, you were not used to such close proximity to anyone, let alone a sculpture chiseled by ancient greeks themselves.
"say it again," he said, voice deep & eyes half lidded. "i need to hear it again."
"i do, katsuki," you repeated per his request. "i really, really like you."
he pulled you into another kiss, & you both felt each other smile. it felt right.
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wonderlandwalker · 4 months
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He Knows Better | Finnick Odair x Reader
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THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox
Summary: Finnick tells himself not to get close to you, because what is the point? But when you survive your games he finds that he can't stop thinking about you. When he finally comes to see you, you're in pieces, and he swears to himself he will put you back together, no matter the costs. Find part 2 here: Should've Known
Content Warnings/Tags: Mentions of prostitution/sex trafficking, angst, Finnick deserving better, crying, bad representation of a panic attack, not proofread
Word Count: 1.6k
Requested by Anon: I loveeeee love love love your Finnick fic. It was the perfect mix of sweet and so angstyyyyy !! I'm having constant Finnick brainrot 😭 I was wondering what you think about writing a finnick × reader fic sort of loosely based on Hozier's "It Will Come Back" where reader is maybe a tribute or another Victor and the first person to show Finnick softness and kindness without asking for anything in return in so long and he's like "dont let me in with no intention to keep me" and "dont be kind to me" and he just is totally feral and obsessed with the reader ? You're such a talented writer !! ❤️❤️❤️
A/N: There is this Dutch expression which goes ‘the monkey comes out of the sleeve’ loosely meaning the hidden meaning is revealed and I couldn't for the life of me think of the English equivalent that made sense to me, so, well, I hope the story is coherent. As usual, divider by @saradika
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He remembers first seeing you, you were so young, but to be fair, so was he. In previous years he had always become quick friends with the tributes he was supposed to mentor, how could he not? But it didn't take him long to figure out that they never made it back, and while the company was nice for a while, the hurt in the end wasn't worth it anymore. There's something about you that he can't quite place, but it doesn't matter, because he's not going to get attached. When you first stepped into the training hall you didn't look scared, you didn't even look excited, no, you looked like you had made peace. 
He didn't get to talk to you much, you spend most of your training with Mags, not learning how to fight, but learning how to survive. And every time he watched you, he watched how your eyes lit up when learned how to filter water, he watched how proud Mags was of you each time. And he felt something tugging at him, he felt a need to get to know you. But he knew better.
Because what were the odds, he had seen this before, he had done this before. No, he shouldn't get attached to you. And yet, for the first time after returning from his own, he found himself watching the games. Watching the tributes become fewer and fewer, hoping, praying, that you'd make it through. The fewer left the more desperate he became. You've gotten this far, don't let the luck run out just yet. He saw how your last opponent fell, and he saw your face in the centre of the screen, of virtually every screen. And once again, you didn't look excited, you looked like you had found peace again, and maybe, just maybe, he let himself believe he could too, that you could show him. 
He didn’t go see you after, it wouldn't be of any use. What more did he have to offer you, you did not need a mentor anymore. He had made peace, he had made peace with never seeing you again. So what was the difference if you were alive or not? That's what he thought, if he gave in now, he didn't think he'd ever be able to let go, it would keep coming back. 
It wasn't until a few months later when someone knocked on his door, and in a sleepy haze, he opened it without thinking. He had spent the night at the capitol, and he never managed to get much rest after. Usually, when he had been gone for the night, Mags would come to check in on him, and have Valerian tea with him. He doubted it actually worked, but the effort was enough to brighten his day. So he opened the door, but it wasn't Mags, it was you. Your face was fuller, it had more colour, but the bags under your eyes were still there. Would Mags bring you Valerian tea as well? No, no he needed to stop thinking about you. The last time he had actually seen you was when you won. He had forced himself to avoid you ever since, he hadn't been completely sure why anymore, but now he knew again. The way you looked at him gave him hope, hope he couldn't afford. “What do you want” he asked, he sounded upset, and in a way he was, but the way the sparkle in your eyes dimmed made him regret it. 
And so he opened the door further, stepping aside, and you didn't need more of an invitation before you walked in. You took a seat at his small kitchen table, and he decided it would be impolite not to join you, so he sat down as well. He was about to talk, but you beat him to the punch.
“Snow came to see me.” There is was he thought, the reason, everyone always had a reason. Still, he found himself allowing you to continue, wanting to hear your voice again, even if it brought bad news. 
“I talked to Mags about it, but she said I should come see you, so here I am.” You chuckled, but the situation was not something that asked for it, must be nerves, he thought, but why were you nervous, surely he didn't make you nervous. 
“Look, I don’t want to bother you with my problems Finnick, I know you're dealing with enough yourself, but I don’t know what else to do.” Your eyes glossed over, and you looked like you were about to start crying, but you didn't. He wanted to say something, to comfort you, but what was there to say? And so you two sat in silence, he was looking at you, he was memorizing your face. This was the last time he would let himself see you. He didn't want to get close to you, and with how mesmerizing you were to him, he knew better.
And yet, as days passed, he found himself thinking of you. Whenever he needed comfort, he thought of you, the way you smiled at him when he told you a nervous joke. He could get lost in the memory of your eyes, and more often than not, he did. Every day he spent without seeing you made his heart hurt. 
Without thinking, he found himself walking to your door. It was like he wasn't in control of his own feet. He was in constant agony with himself. He wanted to be with you, but your kindness was one he couldn't afford, because it had the power to break him. He knocked on your door, not even aware he was doing so until he heard the sound echo back to him. He heard rustling, but he didn't hear you approaching the door, so he knocked again, and for good measure, he decided to call out. “Y/n? It’s me, it’s Finnick”. He heard someone approach the door at that, and a little bit of hope sparked inside him that you wanted to see him as much as he wanted to see you, but he knew better. 
The door opened, but it wasn't you that he came face to face with, it was Mags. She was standing in your hallway with a sad smile on her face, and she didn't say anything, but she looked to the stairs on the right end corner. He didn't need any more encouragement, and he sped up them, taking two steps at a time. He knocked on the door he was in front of, but there wasn't an answer. But when he listened more closely, he could hear crying coming from the other side. You were crying. His mind was reeling with possibilities, but whatever it was that had caused this, he swore to himself he would fix it, even if it broke him. 
And so he entered the room, opening the door softly so as not to startle you, but it didn't matter. He saw you in the corner, you had pulled your knees to your chest and he couldn't see your face from where you had hidden it, but his heart broke over it nonetheless. He walked towards you, testing the waters, testing his luck. He was scared for you, but mostly, he was scared you wouldn't want to see him. When you heard him, your head shot up to look at him. The way in which your eyes were bloodshot and swollen made him want to punch a hole in the wall next to you. The way your voice cracked when you said his name made him want to curl up right next to you. he got closer to you, kneeling down in front of you. Allowing you to take the next steps on your own time.
After a few minutes, you had slightly calmed down while he was tracing patterns on your knee with his thumb. You spoke to him, but you didn't look him in his eyes.
“They’re bidding on me Finnick, they’re bidding on me like I’m something to possess”
The feeling of dread that came over him was something he had never felt before. He thought he had gone through all someone could. He thought there was nothing that could hurt him anymore in a way he didn't already, but he had been wrong. 
He was willing to do anything for you to be spared from this, but he knew it wasn't any use. 
He knew better. And so he did all he could, taking you in his arms and whispering reassuring words, until your crying and your shaking stopped, and you seemed at peace again. 
He had tried himself to get away from what snow had wanted, what the capitol had wanted, he tried everything he could think of, but he couldn't get away from it. He had made peace with the fact that people always wanted something from him, and maybe that's why he couldn't get you out of his head, because you were the only person that was at peace with him, without anything more, just him. So he told you the only thing he could. He told you he’d be there for you, that you’d get through it together. He wasn't sure if he believed it, but he knew it was what you needed to hear, it was what he had needed to hear, except there had been no one to tell him. He would spend the rest of his life wondering if you needed him.
But he won't shut you out again, he knows better.
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Part 2: Should've Known
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reareaotaku · 5 months
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I Want 2 Watch You Bleed
Prompt: I wonder what your dead corpse would look like... We'll find out if you try and leave me~ Pairings: Yandere! Miles Fairchild x Nanny! Reader Word Count: 3.2k TW: Obsession, Gaslighting, Slight NSFW, Porno Magazine Mentioned [Happy Thanksgiving, my fellow Americans :) Enjoy this treat]
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You could feel his eyes on you. He was always watching. You didn't know why he had this fixation on you, but he was overbearing. You always felt his presence, because it was like a fog that made it hard for you to breath. At first, you thought he was making sure you were doing your job correctly, but that couldn't have been further from the truth.
---
You woke up late at night, feeling as if you were being watched in your dream and when you awoke, he was there. You were taken aback; Your eyes widened as he hung his arm off the footboard.
"You drool in your sleep."
"What?"
"And snore. It's annoying."
Your mouth was practically on the floor, "What are you doing?"
"You're so fucking stupid."
You frowned, your nose scrunching up, and you debated kicking him. Ultimately, you sigh and turn away from the young boy.
"I don't snore." You mumble under your breath, before going back to sleep. If he wanted to stay, you would let him, because you couldn't fight him. You were too tired and the energy just wasn't there.
You felt a dip in the bed, causing a spike of adrenaline to shoot up your spine. Why wouldn't he leave? Why were YOU scared of some stupid teenage boy. You were going to yell at him to get out, but you couldn't move. You felt like you were being held down and feeling his hand snake up your leg didn't help the paranoia that was resting in your head. What was wrong with him?
---
The morning after was awkward and strange. You knew he had been in your room, but the way he was acting was as if you were delusional.
"You can't go into my room at night."
Miles look at you, before tilting his head, "I didn't go into your room last night. It was probably a dream. I think it's weird that you dreamed about me though."
"I would never dream about you. Just- Don't do it."
"Well, I never did, so there's nothing for you to worry about."
You knew he was lying- Well, you did, but you were slowly doubting yourself.
---
You groaned, the music was blaring. It was loud and you were wondering how he hadn't gone deaf yet. Your head was banging and you had half a mind to yell at him. You frowned, before standing up and placing down the book you had been trying to read to Flora.
You could practically feel the floor shake as you stomped up to his room. You banged on the door, seeing as that was the only way he'd hear you. There was no answer, so you decided to just open the door.
He was going to town on his drums, before he looked up to you. He puts down his sticks and gives you his attention.
"What do you want?"
"I'm trying to help Flora read, but we can't even think with that loud music."
"Go outside."
"How about you play a different instrument? You have multiple different instruments. Or maybe you can just wait an hour to play-"
"Why are you being such a bitch?"
"Don't call me that. That is rude and very disrespectful."
He laughs, "Oohh, I'm so scared of the big, mean nanny."
"I'm not playing with you, Miles. I'm serious."
He tilts his head, before looking away from you and at his drums, "I'm sure you think you are. You do realize that unlike me, you're replaceable, right? You don't hold any real power. It's all just a figment of your imagination. Though, it seems your mind likes to run wild, doesn't it?"
"You will not make a joke out of me little boy," You stomp to him, grabbing his sticks causing him to yell out 'HEY!'. "You want to be a rude smartass? Okay, let's see how you like the consequences of your actions."
He follows behind you quickly as you run down the stairs. You rush to the living room where the fire place is. Thankfully, someone had already started a little fire, so your plan was half complete. You stood in front of it, before looking back at him.
His eyes were blown and he was frozen, "Don't. You. Fucking. Dare."
"Oooh, I'm so scared of the big, mean teenage boy." You then do something that you would regret later and throw the drumsticks into the fire.
"You fucking bitch! I'll kill you!" He rushes towards you and you're quick to grab his hands and hold them close together so that he doesn't choke you. After a few minutes, he calms down, but he gives you a dead look, "You better sleep with your door locked and one eye open." He then turns around and walks back to his room.
You hear of the crackle of the wood from the sticks and look back at the fire, causing realization of what you had done to hit you. You had gone to far. Your eyes widen as you frown, before trying to reach for the sticks, but you end up burning your hands. You could only watch as they burned to ash.
---
For the next few days you couldn't sleep. You knew you shouldn't be scared of Miles, seeing as he was younger than you, but there was just something off about him. The guilt had also been eating you alive. While you didn't like the way he treated you and others, you should have been the bigger person and handled the situation with more maturity.
You had tended to avoid him, until you finally decided to go buy him some new drumsticks. Was he an asshole? Yes. Was he inconsiderate of everyone? Yes. But he didn't seem to have many joys in life; And music was one of them and you destroy a part of it. You didn't know how you'd feel if someone destroy parts of your hobby, especially if you didn't have any family or friends besides a younger sibling. God, when you thought about it, it really bummed you out.
You waited until late at night, while everyone was asleep [supposedly], when you decided to leave. It would take you a while to get to town, because the house was far into the country side. You felt like you were doing something you weren't supposed to as you slowly walked across the wooden board floor. You heart dropped when you heard a loud creak! but thankfully there was no other movements.
You groaned when the loud engine blared in the near silence. You were thankful when you finally got out of the driveway and headed into town.
---
You hold the brand new sticks in your hands. You fingers glazed against the engravings on them. You didn't know if this would be good enough for him, but you were hoping he'd at least pretend to accept your apology.
Walking up to his room was agonizing. It felt like time slowed down and the hallways shrunk on you. When you finally got to his door, you thought about leaving, but sucked in a breath and knocked.
"Um, Miles?"
There was no answer, which caused you to sigh. You knew he was in there. You put your ear to the door, trying to listen for anything, but nothing. You knocked again.
"I'm coming in." You slowly opened the door and Miles was sitting on his bed- Well, it wasn't really a bed, more of a mattress- looking through a magazine. He flipped through the pages, not paying attention to you and it kind of looked like a porno magazine, but you weren't about to harp on how he got his hands on such a thing, because that was not a conversation you wanted to have. "Miles?"
He finally looks at you, throwing the magazine to the side of the bed and sat up, looking at you, "What?"
"I got you something," You hold the wrapped box out to him, but he doesn't take it. He just glares up at you as if his looks could kill you. You click your tongue, before rubbing the back of your neck. "I-uh, wanted to apologize... for you know... what I did, the other day... I shouldn't have done that. Nothing warrants a response like that and I'm sorry. I never should have thrown your drumsticks into the fire." You start messing with the box, taking them out when realizing he wasn't taking the gift, "I know that these aren't made out of the expensive wood your old ones were, but- umm... I got them engraved, you know, with uh, your name." You show him the light dug 'Property of Miles Fairchild'. "I hope we can start over and put that behind us."
He looks at the sticks, before grabbing them and looking them over in his hands. You watched him closely, hoping he'd take them. Thankfully, he did, but not before rolling his eyes. He puts them on his night stand, before looking back at you, "Leave me alone."
"Alright.." You finger gun him, before clicking your tongue, "I'll see you around." You left his room, before facepalming. " 'I'll see you around'? God, what a fucking stupid thing to say. Ugh, I'm such an idiot."
---
Miles holds the sticks between his fingers, examining them. They were nothing special, but they'd do the job. The engravements were a nice touch and it spurred something in Miles. It was a sweet gesture, probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for him, especially without an ulterior motive. And to think, he had been planning to suffocate you in your sleep.
He was still kind of mad about losing his favorite pair of drum sticks, but these meant more to him, because they were bought with him in mind. You bought them while thinking about him and Miles thought that was kind of hot. Was he on your mind? How often did you think about him? What did you think about? Was it appropriate?
You had really just wormed your way into Miles' heart and now you would never be allowed to leave.
---
You parked the car, looking over the books you had gotten Flora. They weren't anything special, but you wanted to get Flora something new to read, because you were sure she was getting bored of the same old stuff in the house.
"Where the hell have you been?"
You nearly jumped out of your skin when turning around and seeing Miles behind you. "God, you should wear a bell around your neck or something. You can't sneak up on people like that. Could give someone a heart attack."
He ignores you, repeating himself. "Where the fuck have you been? Flora was asking about you and we saw that the car was gone. She thought you abandoned her." He looks down at the books in your hand, before looking back at you.
Flora had been worried about you, but he had been pissed. How dare you leave? You can't be like everyone else and abandon him after you got through to him. He'd rather kill you with his bare hands than for you to leave him. He didn't care if he had to force you to stay and were unhappy; He loved you to much to let you leave him.
"I would never do that to Flora," You take a step back, your back against the car, as he walks closer to you.
"You can't just leave without telling anyone."
You laugh, shaking your head, "Okay dad. Didn't realize I had to ask you for permission to leave. Besides, I was just... Getting some new books for Flora, not like I have to explain myself to you. She's always stuck in this house and there's nothing new for her to read or do."
"Well, you can't leave without telling anyone, and now you know. I can get you fired, you know. Just don't do it again."
You roll your eyes shaking your head, before mumbling under your breath, "Yeah. I'm not doing that."
---
You were focused on dinner plans, trying to organize and figure out what you needed. Thankfully you knew it would be a short trip. You hated having to go all the way to town, especially on a busy day. Errands were never your favorite thing, but they were part of life. You tsked, clicking your pen, while tapping your fingers on the table.
You went out to the car, thankfully Mrs. Grose taking over for you, so you can leave. It was so strange how everyone was stuck in the house, like they couldn't leave. Did they want to leave? Sure didn't seem like it.
"Where are you going?"
You nearly jumped out of your skin when hearing Miles from behind you. You turn to him, frowning, "God, you have to stop doing this. You can't sneak up on people like that."
"I told you you can't leave without telling anyone."
You smirk, not taking him serious, "And yet under the eyes of the law, you're still a child. So, I don't have to tell you anything."
He smirks evily, "You're right. Yet I'm kind of like your boss, so you do have to listen to me."
"Power trip much?" You roll your eyes, gesturing to the car, "Do you want to come with me, Miles?"
You groaned as he happily got into the passenger seat. You pull open the door, ignoring his stare as you got in. You started the car, the hum taking over the silence of the car.
---
It was just a guy, but it had obviously bugged Miles. You didn't know why Miles decided to be such a passive-aggressive asshole to the deli guy, but he did.
"God what is your issue?"
"He was obviously hitting on you." Miles remarks, tossing some stuff into the basket.
"So?"
He looks at you, his brows down turned, "So? You just let him do it. Just out in the open for everyone to see."
"What is up with you and this little," You gesture to him, "controlling nature? You can't control people, no matter how much you try or how much money you have. You have a little control issue."
"And you're a fucking whore." He was jealous and it was showing. Thankfully you were to obvious to his crush and thought he was just an asshole. He wanted to crack that dude's neck like a fucking baby back rib. He wanted to keep you locked away from the rest of the world so that only he could love you. You are a stupid woman, yet somehow you had Miles wrapped around your little finger and his heart on a leash.
"You are...." You pause, a devestated look on your face, "a monster."
"Let's just get going." He ignores you, walking ahead of you, but you weren't done with this conversation.
When getting back to the car, you glared at Miles, who was leaning on his hand and tapping his fingers against his thigh.
"You are such a brat, you know that?"
He clicks his tongue, ignoring you. "Kinda whorish to let him look at you like that," He finally turns to you, before eyeing you up and down, "But you probably like the attention, huh?"
"God, what is your problem?"
"I don't have a problem-"
"You're acting like a jealous, possessive child. Flora acts better than you."
He rolls his eyes, but doesn't say anything. You groan, getting into the car and finally starting it.
---
You had to get out. You didn't know where to go, but you had to get away from the house. Weird shit kept happening. You felt eyes on you constantly and Miles had become obsessively clingy. You couldn't be alone for more than a few seconds without him appearing. You felt bad for Flora and you wanted to get her out of the house, but you were worried it was to late for her.
Flora was acting weird and saying things that didn't make sense. It was like she was possessed or something. She would talk about her old nanny and her dying. It scared you.
You had waited until it was dark out and you put Flora to sleep. You felt bad, but you couldn't stay, you had to leave, it was for your best interest.
You fiddled with the keys in your hands, before accidentally dropping them when trying to put them in the handle. You curse under your breath, before hearing creakk and your eyes scanned around you. The last thing you needed was to get caught now.
"What are you doing?"
You froze, recognizing the voice, before turning around and facing him. He was so close to you, making you wonder where the hell he came from. He looked like a monster with the way his eyes were blown out and his face was obviously furious. "What?"
He frowned, tilting his head, "Do you think I'm fucking stupid?"
"No. No, I don't."
"Well, you sure seem to think so." He gestures towards the keys and the car, "Trying to leave in the middle of the night. Where are you going to go? You don't have any family."
"I'll figure something out."
"With what money? I mean, you can't possible have enough saved to last very long. Maybe a few weeks in a motel, if you're lucky."
"I'd rather live in an alley then spend another second here."
Something flashed in his eyes, something unrecognizable. You knew you had pissed him off. It didn't help that he obviously had serious abandonment/attachment issues and you were trying to leave. He felt as if you were trying to make a fool out of him. How dare you.
"Well, you don't really have a choice."
"What?"
"You don't have," He steps closer to you, before whispering, "a choice."
"Yes I do. Everyone has a choice."
"You know what- You're right. Your choices are that you stay here and we pretend this," He gestures to you and the car, "didn't happen. Or..." He chuckles, looking away from you, as if he was remembering something fondly, "Well, I wonder what your dead corpse would look like... We'll find out if you try and leave me."
"You don't scare me."
He smiles, his eyes filled with an almost love, if not for the situation you found yourself in, you'd be flattered.
"You sure? You seem pretty scared."
He was so close that he could see all the emotions swirling in your eyes. You couldn't lie to him, because he could see the truth. You were terrified.
"Come on. Give me the keys and let's go back inside."
You looked down at the keys, before looking at the car and then at him. You had lost and now you were going to be stuck in this stupid house forever.
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bedoballoons · 7 months
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─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🎃
{༻~Kissing a monster~༺}
CW: Characters are different types of monsters! GN! Reader, mentions of blood because vampires, some characters are considered dead, descriptions of making out, some characters are a little rough, Neuvillette doesn't wear alot of clothing, may be a little ooc!
(Pet names: Lyney: Mon amour, my love, Albedo: Dearest, Neuvillette: Play thing, beautiful!)
A/n: Talking a little break from requests (sorry) to write some self indulgent spooky stuff! I hope you enjoy!! Sorry it's a late post!!
(Includes: Lyney, Albedo, Xiao, and Neuvillette!)
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
𑁍༄Lyney: (~Vampire~)
Lyney bit his lip, watching intensely as your crimson blood ran down the tip of your finger, dripping onto the ground by his feet with the quietest of splashes that rang much louder in his trained ears. He didn't want to hurt you, but his sharp teeth ached for a taste...just a drop, "Lyney? You okay? You're not one of those people who faints at the sight of blood right?"
His violet eyes, now tinted with a bright red, met yours...scanning your lips and neck, all the way back to your small cut, "I...please forgive me mon amour.." You gave him a curious look, about to question what on earth he had done that needed to be forgiven, when his hand grabbed your wrist, his tongue sliding across your finger, licking your blood away while you watched completely shocked and blushed.
"L-lyney?!?"
Just that little bit had his mind dazed, never in his life had he tasted something so incredible as you before, it was like he'd broken away from his normal self, became a beast as pulled you close to him and kissed you roughly, hands sliding up your body in haste. "Let me have more of you my love~"
𑁍༄Albedo: (~Vampire~)
Albedo wasn't sure what had changed in him, what had made your lips taste like candy...so addictive he couldn't get enough, what had changed his normally gentle touches into harsh ones that made him seem more and more desperate for you, what made his sharp teeth cutting your bottom lip open seem like a spark to starting a lustful fire.
He lifted you onto his desk, your thighs wrapped around his waist tightly as sucked on your tongue and drank up every single drop of your delicious blood as if he had been starved, the kiss only growing more heated as he groaned into your hot mouth. He needed more, but it was already taken everything in him to not move to your neck, he was getting to excited, he should pull away...
"D-dearest maybe we s-shouldn't-" He pulled away in a attempt to calm himself, but you didn't let him leave you long enough to even finish his sentence, your hand gripped the front of his shirt, pulling him back into the kiss...he'd started it after all~
𑁍༄Xiao: (~Grim Reaper~)
You touched Xiaos cheek, the thick fabric of his hood rubbing the back of your hand as if it was reminding you what he was...a collector of souls, someone who could end your life at any moment. His touch could even potentially be dangerous to you and yet here you were, standing by cemetery in the middle of the night with him, hoping to have just one of his poisonous kisses.
"You shouldn't....we shouldn't be together. I'm... not good for you..." He tried to persuade you to leave, wanting nothing more than for you to be safe, his grip on his scythe tightening protectively, but your lips met his anyway. It was like the rest of the world faded away, fog gathering at your feet and the full moon shining down on you as his free hand wrapped around your waist...this was a risk you simply had to take.
"You're going to be the end of me..."
𑁍༄Neuvillette: (~Siren~)
You felt almost dizzy, following what seemed to be the voice of a angel that sung to you, calling you to them with every verse. How had you ended up in a cave in the dead of night...sea water swishing around your feet and the cold making your whole body shiver, why were you still going forward...
"Well look at you, aren't you a beautiful being, please come closer~" The voices abrupt change in pitch had you frantically searching around until finally you caught sight of him, long white hair flowing all the way to the ground, his body mostly exposed with only ocean items used as clothing...however what had you truly entranced were his bright almost glowing eyes that lingered on you almost threateningly.
You couldn't run away even if you wanted to, your legs carrying you closer to him, making you kneel in front of him while he smirked slightly. "How long has it been since I had a play thing as goregous as you, I wonder if you taste as good as you look..." He curled a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him while his lips met yours...it was cold but you couldn't get enough. Whatever spell he had put on you...was more than working...
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
◥(•̀₩•́)◤☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 ☾𖤓~Have a spooky day~*⁠.⁠✧
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sopebubbles · 8 months
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Master List
Fourteen
Synopsis: in a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.
Chapter summary: Your second heat with the pack begins, and Yoongi, Jimin and Hoseok promise to make it better than any before.
Warnings: talks of past trauma, nightmares, SMUT (I honestly didn't think this was gonna happen), penetrative sex (female and male), use of sex toys, unprotected sex, LOTS of kissing and touching, lots of pet names.
WC: 14k
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"Mmm, you're in preheat," Yoongi said against your neck. He could smell you getting sweeter and sweeter. He'd noticed it a couple of hours ago, but let you keep sleeping. His heart dropped when he felt you tense up beneath him, knowing you were going into distress, souring just a little. "It will be alright, princess. We're here to help." He did his best to soothe you, but when you remained still, he pulled you back against him, away from Jimin. 
"Jimin, go get Hobi," he instructed, and the beta got up without asking any questions. Yoongi rolled you over so he could see your face even though you wouldn't look at him. He smoothed your hair back as he spoke softly. "We should have done this sooner, but we're going to talk with Hobi and make a plan. Everything will be alright."
He began to feel a little panic when you didn't respond, and he wondered if maybe you didn't trust him completely yet. Maybe you were still afraid of him a little. Maybe you feared that he wasn't going to keep the promises he had made you on the day you finally became his. His heart broke a little, although he could never blame you. But he didn't know what he would do if you kicked him out to go through your heat alone. He couldn't let that happen. He'd lose his mind.
"I don't understand why she's so broken up about it," Jimin heard Namjoon say as he walked down the stairs. "If I were her I'd be thrilled the bastard is dead."
"Because she's a good girl who doesn't want to be a murderer," Hoseok replied. "I'm sure she'd be happy if she didn't feel responsible. I wish she could see that she isn't."
All heads turned toward Jimin as he entered the kitchen where they all sat, drinking tea, or in Jungkook and Namjoon's case, beer. 
"How is she doing?" Tae asked urgently. 
"She feels like shit. But we have a different problem. Hobi, Yoongi wants you upstairs."
Hobi stood up and set his mug heavily on the table. "What's wrong?"
Jimin frowned. "She's in pre-heat," he replied before turning to go back up the stairs. 
"Taehyung, I need you to go to the grocery store to stock up. Take Namjoon with you," Hobi said before following Jimin. 
"But-"
"No buts," he said curtly and disappeared.
"I'll go, if you don't want to," Jin told Namjoon softly.
"Or the two of you can go and I'll stay here," Taehyung offered, not at all wanting to leave the house while you were becoming more vulnerable by the second. 
Namjoon sighed. "If the two of us go we won't come back with any of the things we actually need. And Hobi probably needs you here, Jin. It's fine. I'll go."
Jimin knocked on the door before opening it, startling both you and Yoongi. When you saw Hobi behind him, you both sat up to be able to talk to them properly. He sat on the edge of the bed and touched his hand to your forehead. 
"You're hot as hell, but you smell like heaven. How are you feeling, pup?" He asked, but you merely shrugged. 
"Hobi, Y/N told me a while ago that she doesn't like dealing with her heats. She said they hurt. I know we should have worked it out earlier, but I was hoping you could help us come up with a plan or something. You're the expert and I…"
Yoongi didn't need to finish his sentence for Hoseok to know just how lost he felt. It was clear in his eyes, though he was trying to hide it. He looked from your alpha to you and smiled. "Heats aren't bad if you manage them right, pup. We'll get through it fine. Can you tell me what you normally do for your heats?"
You shook your head and pulled your knees toward your chest. "Nothing. I haven't been having them for a couple years. I don't know."
"Well, what was your best heat like?"
You looked at him blankly. "My best heat was the one I had last time. With you."
His heart ached. That couldn't be true. The struggle he'd watched you go through couldn't have been the best of an experience that Hoseok often found actually quite enjoyable.
He swallowed, steeling himself to dig into what he guessed was going to be a lot of trauma. "Sweetheart, can you tell me about your first heat?"
You broke eye contact with him, lowering your gaze to your knees where the old jeans you were still wearing were worn thin, ready to rip apart. You shook your head. 
Yoongi rubbed a hand down your spine, still tense, and begged. "Please, princess. I know it might hurt, but we can't make it better until we know what's wrong."
You breathed in deep and pushed it out. Your voice cracked when it first came out. "I was sixteen when I had my first. I didn't know what was happening at first. No one had ever told me what it would be like, and I was so old, I thought at that point I was a beta, like Eli." The words caught around the lump in your throat, but you swallowed it down. "When my m-mother found me. Sh-she she dragged me from the nest I made." You hadn't realized you'd begun to cry until Jimin took one of your balled-up fists in his hand to relax it. "She and my father took me out to the back of the farm and left me outside the property in the woods. It was the last time I saw them."
Hoseok wanted to tear them apart with his teeth, but it wasn't about them right now. He wiped your cheeks. "That must have been very scary. You were so brave. What did you do?"
You sniffed. "I was pretty out of it. I stayed in the woods until it was over because I didn't want s-someone else to find me," you hiccuped. "There were other animals out there and–"
"Y/N," Hoseok interrupted you. His voice was so firm you had to instantly look him in the eyes. "You are not an animal. No matter what they told you, you're a person. Got it?" He watched your eyes glass over before you nodded. "Sorry, pup. I didn't mean to sound so angry. I'm not…I'm not mad at you." You lowered your eyes again, and he couldn't help but feel bad and wonder if he was helping at all. "I'm sorry. Go on."
You cleared your throat. "After it was over, I hitchhiked to the nearest city, an hour or so away. I was on the streets for about six months, so like two heats bc they were farther apart then. You can imagine how that went." 
Hoseok did his very best not to imagine it. Jimin's grip on your hand tightened as he recalled the night they found you, what they stopped and what he feared could have happened. He never thought you might have already lived the worst things he could think of. Yoongi on your other side was deadly silent.
"Anyway, then I met Sebastian and Roxy, and I think Yoongi told you about what that was like already." You looked at Yoongi for the first time since you'd started telling your story, but he didn't look at your face. When you looked back at Hoseok, he nodded. "When I went to jail, they made me take heat suppressants and since then I've pretty much stayed on them. It's been…better."
Hobi swallowed down the bile rising in his throat as he tried to look for something to say. Before he could think of anything, Jimin spoke. 
"Y/N-ie, can I hold you?" He asked softly.
You looked at him in surprise. "Y-you want to hold me?"
He nodded. "I think it will make you–no, I don't know if it will actually make you feel better, but if it's alright with you, I'd like to try. I think it would make me worry less," he admitted. "It's okay if you don't want to. I won't force–"
You stopped him by moving closer, between his legs. "It always makes me feel better. And I don't want you to worry."
For a brief moment, Yoongi forgot his anger and concern as he watched Jimin wrap his arms around your waist and you leaned your head on his shoulder. He almost smiled. Then he looked at Hoseok, who had finally composed himself. 
"Pup," he started softly, pulling your attention away from Jimin's collar to look up at him, but you didn't move an inch. You looked tiny in Jimin's arms, and something about it made his heart swell. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sad you had to go through all of that alone. I promise that for the rest of your life, anyone who tries to hurt you like that will answer to me personally." His eyes slid briefly over to your alpha and back to you, but Yoongi didn't seem bothered by the threat. "That's not what heats are supposed to be like, and I'm going to make sure that you can see that someday. I know it won't be perfect this time, but I think we can make it better."
"How?" You asked softly. 
"For starters, the four of us will be the only people allowed in this room. I'll do what I can to make sure you don't even smell the other alphas, and they won't bother you. Would that make you feel safer?" 
"You'll be in here with me?" You looked at your alpha. 
"We're not going to let you be alone this time, princess. We'll be here to make sure you stay hydrated and eat when you can. We can help keep you calm and make you as relaxed as possible," he said.
"But what about…will you…will we?"
He shook his head. "I made you a promise, pup, and I'm going to keep it. I'm not going to breed you. I'm just going to keep you company."
"But what if I…" You shrank into Jimin's chest and picked at your nails. "When I'm like that, sometimes I–" they all waited patiently while you tried to get the words out. "Sometimes I want it, even if I think I don't want it. It's like my body just…" your voice was strangled by the shame in your throat. 
"That's completely normal, sweetheart," Hobi told you. "That's the whole point of being in heat. Everyone wants a knot. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
Still, you flushed. "Then why don't you want to?" You asked Yoongi.
"I do!" He answered quickly and then tried to swallow his enthusiasm. "I mean, it's not that I don't want to. I don't want to, but not because I don't want you. I want you so much, princess, honestly. But I want you to feel safe and comfortable and to trust me way more than I want to satisfy some basic instinct for either of us."
"You're still attracted to me, right?" You asked in the shyest voice he's ever heard. 
"Yes, princess. We talked about that," he grinned. "But that doesn't mean I need to breed you. Even if you beg for it."
"There are other ways to satisfy those needs, if they become overwhelming," Hobi interjected to point out. 
You turned your attention back to him curiously. "What do you mean?"
"Typically parents don't really want their adolescent omegas to go around breeding before they're ready. My parents let me use other methods, like plugs and dildos to scratch that itch. It's not the same, but it helps a little with the discomfort," he explained. 
"Hobi, I don't know," Yoongi responded when you curled into Jimin's chest to hide your face. 
"It's just a suggestion. It might help. I agree that you shouldn't be giving her your knot this time around, but she shouldn't have to suffer." He took your hand and made you look at him. "You've been taught that your body is something you should be ashamed and afraid of, but it isn't. The things you feel are normal and natural. It's okay to feel wary of an alpha. The two of you are still getting to know each other. But it's time for you to stop being afraid of yourself. Understand?"
You nodded slowly. "Can Yoongi and Jimin still like, hold me and kiss me? Or is that off limits too?" 
Yoongi chuckled. "Of course. You can have all the cuddles and kisses you want, princess," he told you, stroking your cheek. 
Hoseok nodded thoughtfully and sighed. "If there's nothing else, then I think you should go get a shower. Cool, not too hot or cold. A hot shower will pull you down faster, but a cold one will throw you off balance. After, you can put on something soft and new. I washed it all and put it in the wardrobe. If you feel up to it afterwards, then you can come down and eat with us. If not, I'll send the boys up with something."
You agreed and let Jimin help you off the bed, stumbling a little into him and finding that your coordination was already suffering. Hoseok gathered up the blankets in your nest.
"Jimin, you'd better go clean up, too. I'll go get some things washed and ready. I'll get Jin to order some pizza for dinner," Hobi said as he left the room.
"I've got to go out for a bit," Yoongi said, walking out after him. 
Your soft whine stopped him in his tracks. "Do you have to work tonight?"
He looked softly down at you. "No, princess. I was off until Wednesday anyway, but I'll be calling in sick until it's over."
"You're coming back, right? I-I didn't scare you away?" The tangible fear in your voice shattered the last intact pieces of his heart. He walked back to where you stood in your doorway and placed his hand on your shoulder. 
"Of course not. I'm just going to get a couple things for you. I'll be back in less than an hour. I promise." He kissed you on the forehead to seal it. You whispered an okay and watched him follow Hobi down the stairs before you walked across the hall to the bathroom.
"Are you really going to leave your omega when she's in pre-heat?" Hoseok asked when he heard the bathroom door close and they had reached the first floor.
"I have to. We're going with your plan, so I need to get her some things. Clock's ticking," Yoongi said as he searched around for his wallet and keys.
"Tae's already out. I can call him and have him make a stop," Hoseok said casually as he walked toward the laundry room.
"Taehyung is not buying my omega a knot plug," Yoongi said firmly and loudly. A little too loudly. In the kitchen, Jungkook choked on his drink and sputtered onto Jin.
"A what?" The beta asked as he wiped at his face. 
"Don't worry about it," Hoseok said as he walked by. "Go on, Yoongi. I won't waste your time riling you up for my own amusement tonight. Hurry back."
Yoongi grumbled something unintelligible before he left the room.
"What was that about?" Jin asked after the front door closed. "Why does she need a knot plug when she has her alpha now?"
"She's not ready for all that," Hobi said softly. "And that's all anyone needs to know."
"Is it going to be like last time?" Jungkook wondered. 
"For the four of you, pretty much. I'm expecting you to show some self-control. I'll be helping them as much as I can, so I won't be able to keep you in line. I don't want you or Namjoon so much as looking at her door. Not that it will be much of a problem for you," Hobi mumbled.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jin asked.
"I know you don't like her much. Hopefully that makes it easier to stay away."
Jin sighed. "I don't have anything against her, honestly. I'm staying away for Yoongi, and because I know she's scared. Joon–well, l don't know how he feels about it, but you don't have to worry about him. I'd worry about Taehyung if I were you."
"Why?"
"He's sniffing around her. I know you've noticed."
Hoseok shrugged. "Tae likes her. He won't do anything about it though. He knows she's fragile, and he won't do anything until she wants him to. He's harmless."
"If you say so," Jin shrugged. "Do you want me to stick around this week, just in case?"
"That's not necessary. We can handle it. I would bet on you needing to make time for me by the end of the week, if it's anything like last time," Hobi told him and the alpha nodded, trying not to look too excited about it.
When Yoongi returned forty-two minutes later, you and Jimin were both sitting at the kitchen table eating pizza, dressed in silky soft pajamas. Hoseok stood behind your chair, gently combing out your hair while Jungkook stood over Jimin with a towel, wringing the water from his hair. But what struck Yoongi was how happy the two of you looked. Jimin must have scented you a bit because that was the only time you ever looked so giddy. The beta, too, looked very giggly, but Jungkook always had the ability to make him that way. 
"Did I miss something?" Yoongi asked after he stashed the bag he'd brought in by the stairs instead of bringing it into the kitchen. 
"Nothing really. Just some sweet smelling pups," Hobi smiled. Yoongi could tell he was living a dream come true with your hair in his hands. 
"My sweet smelling pups," Yoongi responded. 
"Yeah, yeah." Hobi bent down to your ear, but spoke loudly enough for all to hear, "Alpha's so territorial." 
You swallowed, but couldn't hide the heat in your cheeks. Yoongi replied with a non threatening growl.
"Yoon, your hair is wet, too," Jungkook said, walking over with the towel he had used on Jimin. 
"I'm okay, Kookie." He ducked the towel coming for his head. 
Jungkook shushed him. "Stubborn alpha."
"Is it raining out?" Jin asked. 
"Pouring. It's supposed to storm off and on all night. You can't hear the thunder?"
They all shook their heads. They'd been laughing since the pizza got here. Over nothing even. It seemed like your scent in the air had loosened them all up, almost like they were intoxicated by you. Your sweet pheromones had become like a social lubricant, making everything easier between all of you. Something sick and familiar twisted in Yoongi's gut. He should be happy everything was so harmonious—and part of him certainly was—but it grated against his own jealousy that wanted to hide you away for himself, just a little longer. 
"Come eat, alpha," your sweet voice broke through, and his dark clouds cleared. "You can sit by me," you added shyly, as if he wouldn't want to. 
Without giving a second thought to the feelings of a moment ago, he did as you suggested and sat to eat. He'd need every calorie to put every bit of energy into looking after you. You pulled your chair closer to his and he looked down at you surprised. 
"I'm glad you came back," you whispered while the others talked. 
"I told you I would," he replied. 
"I know, and I tried really hard to believe it. I was just scared and I…i don't want to lose you," you admitted. 
Yoongi gave you a tight smile as he stroked your hair. "You won't. No matter what happens, in the next few days or in the future, I'll be right here. I'll be yours. You don't have to worry."
He placed a gentle kiss on your lips and pulled away to see you smiling, a little dopey, your eyes shining bright. "Okay."
You let him eat, but stuck close by his side, swatting at Jimin's hands when he tried to pull you away. Yoongi grinned like an idiot and teased him about being your favorite. 
"She's in heat, and you're her alpha. It doesn't mean anything," Jimin grumbled back.
When he noticed you begin to sag, not less happy but beginning to look more tired, Hobi grabbed your purple blanket from the dryer and whisked you upstairs. It was time for your first heat nest, as well as your first nest for your pack. They looked on from the hallway, your alpha and beta, but you tried not to look back at them. 
"Do you think…?" You felt very nervous, afraid you wouldn't be able to provide the comfort they were used to. 
"Don't think about it," Hobi told you. "Remember, the nest isn't for them. It's for you, and they're just lucky to be there. Only worry about what you need tonight."
Maybe your nest ended up a little asymmetrical as you tried your best to make it bigger for the three of you. Only you and Hobi noticed, and no one said a thing. It was cozy and warm and enough for your pack. That was all that mattered right now. When you had each pillow and blanket where you felt it should go, you turned to the boys. They only looked back at you, so you walked to the door and grabbed Jimin by the wrist to pull him over to the bed. Never one to pass up the opportunity to tease, he merely stood there, waiting for you to puppet him into position, to place him like one of your soft pillows. When you looked up at him with large pleading eyes, he still didn't respond. You huffed and pushed him on the bed, to which he only giggled as he flopped over. Yoongi was much more eager to please. His smile looked like it might crack his face in half as he went to his designated spot. Then you looked back at Hobi. 
"All that's left is you, pup," he smiled softly at you.
You bit your lip before you found your voice to speak. "Is it good?"
"That's for you to decide, and for that you have to get in," he urged, gently guiding you to the side of the bed where you had put Yoongi. "But from here it looks very good, little one."
You looked doubtfully at your nest for a moment, wondering how to go about getting into it, before Yoongi grabbed you by your waist and lifted you in to lay between him and Jimin. The beta didn't waste a second wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling into your neck playfully. 
"This is definitely one of the best nests I've ever been in," he said as he probed your scent gland with his nose. 
Yoongi smiled at the two of you before he looked back at Hobi. He thought the omega looked almost longing, as if he wished he could be in there, too. "Thank you, Hobah," Yoongi said softly when he caught the alpha watching.
"I didn't do anything," Hobi replied. 
Yoongi shook his head. "We wouldn't be here without you. You've helped a lot."
Hobi sighed, "Well, I'll just be down the hall if you need anything."
Before he could leave, Yoongi reached out to take his hand and pulled him closer. He placed a kiss on the omega's lips and whispered another thanks. 
"Goodnight, pups. Sleep well," he said before leaving the room, but Jimin was already taking your mind far away.
The thunder didn't start up again until you were already asleep, well and deeply off to dreamland after Jimin and Yoongi scented you into a happy puddle between them. Jimin's lavender had been getting stronger over the past couple of weeks. He might not have noticed it, but you had. As he drove your scent higher and higher, his own followed suit. Tonight, his soothing smell soaked the pillow under your head as well as the air around you, and maybe that's why your usually awful dreams were just slightly less so. 
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Maybe you had taken some of the power out of the memories when you told the three of them earlier. 
Maybe, for once, you just felt safe. 
You always dreamed about that first heat every time after that. It was one of the things you wanted to avoid when you decided to use the pills to escape the endless cycles. Sometimes you dreamed that when you were alone at night in the woods, animals came and tore you apart with their teeth. Sometimes other villains from your past waited to give you fitting punishment for the transgression of being what you were born to be. 
Tonight, after your parents dropped you off at the edge of the trees, the sky grew dark with rain clouds, and thunder cracked loudly overhead. You screamed, and a hand reached out to grab your shoulder. As you tried to squirm away, hiding your face to avoid a blow, you heard his voice. Quiet and steady. 
"It's okay, princess. I'm here." It was Yoongi's voice speaking to you in the darkness, and he took you in his arms. "It's just a storm."
He pulled you to your feet and you began to walk deeper into the forest. 
"Where are we going?" You asked as you stumbled along beside him. 
"I'm taking you home," he answered. 
Another loud clap of thunder rumbled the whole house, and your eyes snapped open. Your fists tightened around Yoongi's shirt. 
"It's okay, princess. It's just a storm. I'm right here." His soft voice was followed by lips pressed to your forehead. 
"Where are we?" You asked. 
"We're at home. We're in your nest. It's safe and perfect. You did such a good job pup," he complimented, his arms secured around you.
You relaxed against him, letting go of his t-shirt, and pressed your forehead to his collarbone. "I'm really glad you like it."
Yoongi hummed appreciatively. "You're my favorite part though."
Butterflies rustled their wings in your stomach and you pressed yourself closer "Sorry for waking you."
"You didn't. Go back to sleep, little one. I'll be here, watching over you."
You couldn't fight the command, either because you were eager to do as he asked or because your eyes were already heavy and closing on their own. It really didn't matter. 
Yoongi wasn't naive enough to believe that the next several days were going to be easy for him. He knew it would take a level of self-restraint that he'd never had to possess before. But it would be worth it if he could make you feel safe. 
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He hadn't pictured waking up with his leg between yours while you grind your heat against his thigh. Your mouth was wet and warm as you kissed and licked at his collar bone. At first, he didn't know what he should do. He didn't mind. Not in the slightest. He was more than happy to lay there and offer you any relief he could. But he was cognizant enough to realize that your actions might progress into more complicated territory, if he let it, and the farther you got, the harder it would be to stop or change course. 
Yoongi turned more onto his side, raising his hand to your back before sliding it up to your hair. His grip was firm but gentle as he held you a few inches away from him.
"Good morning, princess," he said softly and watched you smile. Your eyes were completely glazed over, but you looked so happy. He kept you there for several more seconds before you started to whine. 
"Alpha," was the only word to pass your lips, and it came out desperately. Your hips, which had paused before, began to move in circular motions again, and your whines deepened in pitch until they became moans. Warm, gooey apple pie coated his tongue and his skin as it fluffed out from your scent glands. The deep primal place within him that mirrors yours began to rumble in his chest, a satisfied growl that told him this was right. You were his omega, and he had you oh so close at last. He brought your mouth to his in a teeth-clashing, devouring kiss that you happily reciprocated. Yoongi's other arm wound around your back, pulling your chest against his. Nothing but the thin fabric of the soft pajamas you both wore stood between your bodies. He couldn't get enough of you, and he wanted you to get all of him that you needed, so he held you firmly and let you continue your writhing against him. 
It wasn't long before your movement woke Jimin, too. For a moment, he was confused, having never woken up in your nest before. But he turned over to see you pressed against Yoongi, both oblivious to him as you kissed. He sat up quickly, wondering if Yoongi had already lost his self-control so quickly and was relieved to see you both had your clothes on still. A smirk crossed his lips at how greedily you kissed Yoongi. With Hoseok, there were always so many partners to focus on, so many other bodies in the room. He never looked quite as hungry as you did now. And Yoongi never quite got to have his way with Hoseok the way he was with you now, giving you his complete and undivided attention. At least until Jimin reached out and touched your waist, at which point he pulled away just far enough to let out a feral growl. 
You let out a sound, half whine, half moan, but Jimin just laughed. 
"Calm down, hyung. It's just me," he said as he ran his fingers into Yoongi's hair and pulled slightly. "It's just Jiminie." 
In response, Yoongi gave a happy grumble and raised his head to get a kiss from Jimin. The beta nipped playfully at his lips that you had kissed swollen and pouty. He could taste you all over Yoongi's mouth, and you were as delicious as you smelled. Half laying back down beside you, Jimin pulled you against him, creating a little distance between you and your alpha. He held you firmly at your ribs, just under your breast. A sigh slipped past your lips as Jimin's mouth met your shoulder. His teeth pinched your skin before his soft lips soothed his bites away. 
Yoongi, however, wasn't too pleased with having his plaything stolen away and slid down to press kisses to bits of skin that your thin tank top left exposed. Hungry, open-mouthed kisses along your collarbones led to red-turning-purple hickies blooming on the swells at the top of your breasts.
And that's how Hobi found you when he came to bring you breakfast, only to discover you being devoured. He couldn't help a little laugh. 
"Look at the three of you, humping like a bunch of horny teenagers."
Three sets of eyes, all black-pitted with arousal, turned in his direction, startled but not alarmed.
"Sorry to interrupt, pups, but I think I did you a favor. You need something to eat and drink." He set a tray at the end of the bed and knelt on the wooden chest to chat with you all. Well, with Jimin and Yoongi. Their eyes were slowly returning to normal while yours remained somewhat clouded, too far down in omega space to come up simply because someone brought in food. Yoongi helped you sit up, though it was really more like leaning you against him. Jimin pulled up the top of your shirt, but it did nothing to hide the darkening bruises. 
"How was last night?" Hoseok asked as Yoongi plucked a tangerine from the tray of food and quickly peeled the rind in one piece. He tore away a slice and pressed it to your lips. 
"Eat it," he chuckled when you only looked up at him, and you opened your mouth just enough for him to slide it past your lips. "It was fine. She had a couple nightmares, but I think it was the storms, and she calmed down soon after."
Jimin hummed as he took a sip of coffee. "It would make sense that she doesn't like storms," Jimin thought aloud, as if you weren't there, and in a way, you weren't. You didn't process much of what they said but only stared at Yoongi's lips, waiting to be given another bite. It wasn't the food you craved, but your alpha's attention. 
"Why?" Hobi asked, watching you fixate on Yoongi. He wondered if he looked that cute and absorbed in his alphas. 
"I mean, all that time she spent on the street, she probably has weathered a few bad ones. And then there was the night she came home…"
Hobi shuttered at the thought of you alone and wet. But sitting as you were now with Yoongi, there was nothing but happiness and safety visible around you. 
"You're safe now, aren't you, pup?" Yoongi cooed as his thumb lingered over your bottom lip. 
"See if she'll take some of the eggs," Hobi suggested, handing him a bowl of scrambled eggs. "She needs protein, too. Sometimes you guys forget."
There were forks on the tray, but Yoongi didn't bother with it. The eggs were firm enough for him to grab a bite with his fingers. Now you eagerly opened your mouth for him, lightly licking his fingertips when they touched your tongue. It could have been gross, but if the way the three men watched you was any indication, it was clearly erotic. Hobi watched Yoongi feed you a couple more bites before he snapped out of it. 
"How is she handling…her urges?" He asked, struggling to find a way to put it delicately. Normally he wouldn't bother, but with you the whole topic felt more sensitive. 
Yoongi shrugged. 
"They were already all over each other when I woke up," Jimin answered. 
"She was all over me when I woke up!" Yoongi defended. "What was I supposed to do?"
"Control yourself a little, maybe?" Hoseok suggested. 
"I was! I would have stopped it before it got any farther," Yoongi said, but he wasn't completely convincing.
"Yoon." Hobi looked into the alpha's eyes deeply and they stared at one another for a long moment.
"Don't worry guys. That's what I'm here for. I promise not to let him go too far," Jimin interrupted. 
Hobi sighed and lowered his eyes to the tray of food. "Can you guys handle this?"
"We can!" Jimin answered. "I promise. We've got this. I'm not going to let her get hurt."
"Well, then I guess I'll go get her dildos ready for when the time comes," Hoseok said with an eye roll as he hauled himself up from his seat. 
"I didn't buy her dildos! There will be no fucking! It's just to ease her discomfort," Yoongi responded. 
"Gosh, you're so sensitive right now, Yoongles," Hobi snickered. His mocking was all for Yoongi, not for you. Yet deep down, the omega was proud of him for making these choices for you. Most alphas probably wouldn't. Most would either try to convince an omega to do something they weren't comfortable with or leave the omega alone to deal with it themselves. The fact that Yoongi, and even Jimin, was willing to go through the discomfort of not being able to care for you in the traditional way filled Hobi with pride. 
He left the room, picking up the black bag Yoongi had brought home last night on his way to the bathroom across the hall. With the door shut, he removed not one but two silicone plugs. At the store, Yoongi had realized how unprepared he was. He didn't know what size you would need. One the one hand, you were so tiny, it didn't seem like anything but the smallest would fit inside of you, but on the other, his inner voice had told him you'd need to feel nice and full to be comfortable. In the end, he chose a smaller one and another he thought was comparable to his own size and rushed home. But at least he'd thought about getting the special cleanser, too. The pack wasn't big into sex toys, having more than enough appendages of all sizes to go around. Hobi carefully removed the plugs from their packaging and cleaned them thoroughly. Then he placed them in a soft, clean towel and took them back across the hall, setting them on top of your dresser. 
He sighed and wiped his hands on his pants. "Okay, so, they should be ready…whenever you need them." 
He went to go grab the tray off the bed, which the boys had mostly cleared off. Yoongi watched the omega while chewing the inside of his check. When their eyes met, he decided to speak.
"I was kind of hoping you'd be here to help," he said quickly and softly. His cheeks heating with shame and a flurry of other emotions. Yoongi could fuck with the best of them. Of the alphas, only he and Taehyung had ever been with women. But Yoongi was still at a loss of how to do this, and how to handle you. In his heart, he was terrified of hurting you, or scaring you and ruining everything. Maybe it was wrong to use Hobi as a crutch, but he needed it. 
Hoseok froze, half crouched with the tray in his hands. His eyes slid from Yoongi over to you where you buried your face in Yoongi's shoulder. He was uncharacteristically speechless, and spent several long seconds searching for words. 
"Oh…um…well. I didn't realize you'd actually need me for that part," he admitted. "I have some things I need to do right now."
"Not right now, no. I don't think she's there yet. It might not be until later. But I–I think we need you, Hobi." The desperation in Yoongi's vice only made things more difficult for the omega.
"I don't know, Yoongi. Jin…I don't know if he would like it."
Yoongi hung his head. He couldn't argue with that. There wasn't necessarily any reason for Jin to disapprove. It wouldn't interfere with anything regarding Hoseok or Jin's pack. Not really. But you were part of Yoongi's pack, and Hoseok was not. And you weren't Jin's either. This was new and uncharted territory, but Yoongi realized he really wasn't in a position to ask this much. Seokjin had been as good as he could be expected to be in the last few weeks, and to ask any more might be pushing their luck.
"Right. I understand," Yoongi sighed.
"It's not that I don't want to help, Yoon–"
Yoongi held up a hand. "No. No, I get it. I shouldn't have asked. It's too much to ask. I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry," Hoseok said softly.
"No. It's alright. You can go." Yoongi said it quietly enough that Hobi knew he wasn't mad, but he could help feeling that the alpha seemed defeated, and his stomach swirled with guilt. He lowered his eyes and backed out of the room. Just before the door closed, he heard Jimin's voice:
"Don't worry, hyung. We'll work it out."
Hobi carried the tray down to the kitchen and set it on the counter next to the sink. He inhaled deeply and exhaled to release the tension in his shoulders. Instead of immediately starting on the dishes, he decided to seek out Taehyung. 
Although he hadn't seen the youngest alpha get up, he'd seen the pack's bedroom door open, so he knew he must be around somewhere. He wasn't playing games in the living room, so Hobi looked for him in the sun room at the front of the house that had been granted to him as his art studio. But he wasn't there either. So Hobi went to the backdoor and slipped into someone's slides. Noticing the door to the detached garage was open, he set off across the spacious backyard in that direction. 
Inside the dusty outbuilding was an assortment of things that Hoseok either hadn't yet found a place for or wasn't willing to let go of, alongside tools and Hobi's ambitions for a blooming garden by the time summer came around, but no cars. He did, however, find his alpha. Taehyung must have been lost in thought because he jumped a little when Hobi spoke. 
"What's an alpha like you doing all the way out here?" He asked in that teasing voice he seemed to love using most on Tae.
"I thought I'd get started on your garden finally," he said flatly. "If we keep putting it off, the season will go by."
"You need to start today?"
"It's a beautiful day," Tae countered. Hoseok didn't miss the fact that the alpha hadn't looked at him once since he walked in, so he stepped forward to place a hand on his cheek. The two men were almost exactly the same height, so it wasn't difficult for Hobi to meet him eye to eye. 
"Is something on your mind?" He asked. Tae closed his eyes and took a breath, breathing in the scent of you. 
"It's just kind of strange, y'know. Spending time with her yesterday, I guess I felt like I was on the inside track, and now I feel so far outside. I just want to see her and talk to her and…"
"Fuck her brains out?"
"I'm not a pig, Hoseok…. But I am an alpha so like just a little bit. Yeah, I guess," he chuckled while his ears reddened. "I just want to spend some time outside until the others come back, so you don't have to worry about me."
Hoseok smiled as he placed his other hand on the other side of Tae's face and stroked his beautiful high cheekbones. "That's fine, baby boy. It's good to keep yourself busy," he agreed before he kissed his lips gently. "You're doing a great job. And I'm sure as soon as this is all over, you'll be right back where you were with her."
Taehyung's eyes sparked with hope. "I hope so. How is she doing?"
Hoseok attempted to keep his smile in place, but Taehyung knew it well enough to see how the corners of his lips drooped. "She's getting through it. It's not easy for her. It doesn't mean to her what it means to us. Not yet anyway."
Taehyung frowned. "Do you ever see her and think how lucky you are that you got to grow up with your family?" Hobi hummed. "The ways she doesn't know how to be herself are more heartbreaking than the scars of how people have hurt her."
"I'm trying my best–" Hoseok's voice broke at the thought of continuing your life as you'd been living it. 
"You're doing so well with her. Sometimes, I think the luckiest thing will be her having you. Not to disrespect Yoongi hyung, but he can only make her physically safe. Which is important but…I don't know if it would ever matter if you weren't there to stop her from hurting herself on the inside."
Hoseok lowered his eyes and shook his head. "Sometimes the things she says make me so mad, if they came from anyone else, I'd slap them right in the mouth."
Taehyung laughed. "Well, don't do that, and I think she'll keep learning from you. You're good for her."
"I'm just doing my best. I can't fix her."
"You don't have to fix her. I know you love her. That's enough."
Hobi thought it over for a moment. "I guess I do…like I would a child."
Tae snorted. "Sure, hyung. Like a child."
Hoseok went back into the house to take care of the dishes from the morning. There were no sounds coming from upstairs. Your scent filled the house, but it remained even. Maybe you had fallen asleep in your pack's arms. Regardless, he couldn't keep his thoughts from you. His help was needed, and he wanted to give it, but how far could he go to do that? 
Yoongi and Jin had drawn lines around you that were clear and solid for the members of the two packs living in his house, but not for Hobi. No one could exactly tell the pack omega what to do, not even Jin, but that didn't necessarily mean he would do whatever he pleased. Even though helping you through this ordeal wouldn't impact Hoseok and his upcoming heat in any way, that didn't mean he was free to lend himself out for…sexual services. But it wasn't like you were an alpha or that Hobi would get any gratification from helping you. His head spun with the ramifications, and his stomach twisted into knots as he scrubbed dish after dish. 
Finally, he decided to do the only thing he could do when he struggled to make a decision. He called his husband. 
"Hello, my love. Is everything okay?" Jin asked when he answered his phone. It wasn't common for Hoseok to call him in the morning at work. 
"Yeah, everyone's fine," Hobi answered, but he couldn't hide the shake in his voice from Jin, and the silence that lingered after didn't help to sell it.
Jin smiled. He knew if something was really wrong that Hoseok wouldn't hesitate to say it, so there must be something on his mind, and whatever it was made him shy. "What is it, Seokkie?" 
The omega blushed at the infrequently used pet name. It made him feel like a boy again. It had been Jungkook who started calling him Hobi, and now Jin only used 'Seokkie' when they were alone or he wanted to be particularly intimate. It reminded them both of just how long their love story was and how deeply they knew one another. Hoseok explained your predicament to his husband in a rush of words, like ripping off a bandaid.
"I see," Jin responded when he'd finished, not knowing what else to say. 
"If you don't want me to do it, then I won't," Hobi added. 
Jin chuckled. "You're asking for my permission? Since when?"
"This is serious Jinnie."
The alpha took a beat to appreciate that. Hoseok was right. He'd explained your history to Jin last night, so he knew just how fragile you were on the subject. He didn't expect to hear how Yoongi struggled. "Do you want to do it for Yoongi or for her?"
Hobi sighed. "Both? I don't know. I want her to feel okay. I want to help him avoid doing something he'll regret later. I want everyone to feel happy. Including you. Including me."
Jin considered that. He tried to consider how Yoongi must feel, only being able to offer his omega this small bit of relief instead of what he would naturally want to give you. But he knew that Yoongi wasn't really the obstacle to helping you. It was him. It was knowing that you were Yoongi's in the way that Hobi was his. And as much as Hobi could go his own way on things, he'd never disrespect Jin or disregard his feelings. "Do you think she'll be part of our pack one day? Is that a possibility?"
Hobi's tone brightened. "I really do! She's trying very hard, Jinnie. She's listening and learning. And I think she trusts me. I think she could trust you."
Jin conceded. "I'm not going to stop you, my love. If you want to help them, it's fine with me. But only if you're comfortable with it, and not because Yoongi is in over his head."
Hoseok felt some of the pressure lift off his chest. "Okay." He took a deep breath and sighed. "Look, I don't know if this will even happen today, let alone when. So I might be busy when you come home."
"Don't worry, love. I'll take the other boys out for dinner. We'll get our time with you later this week." Hoseok could hear the happiness in his tone, but he didn't dwell on it. Those feelings would have to wait a few days. They said their goodbyes and hung up with Hobi feeling a bit lighter. But he'd be lying if he said Jin had alleviated all his worries. 
He had permission now, but that didn't mean that he would be able to do. 
Hoseok had never been with another omega before, let alone a woman. And he knew Yoongi said it wasn't fucking, but was still intimate and sexual, and he didn't think he had any idea what to do down there, with you. He knew you weren't that different, but you were different enough for him to feel scared.
But even that wasn't the real issue that he was afraid of facing. Hoseok cared for you deeply. He wouldn't say it to your face because he's just not serious like that, but he could even think he loved you. Maybe not quite in a paternal way, but as a mentor, an older brother; as someone whose job it was to teach you about life. He didn't want to see you as an object of attraction. He didn't want to acknowledge how his heart fluttered yesterday as you tried on outfit after outfit, or how his breath catches when he sees you really smile, much less how fucking good you smell during your heat, when your scent coats the back of his throat, or how sexy your lips looked touching Yoongi's fingers this morning. Hobi wasn't ready to be attracted to you or in love with you. It wasn't on his list of things to do with you.
Footsteps on the stairs pulled Hoseok from his thoughts, and he looked up to see Jimin round the corner with his phone to his ear, giving him a remorseful look. He took his cue to go upstairs and check on how things were going. It had been about an hour since he'd left your room, and he wondered if something had happened. He opened the door quietly and poked his head in.
"Is everything okay?" He asked. 
Yoongi's attention snapped from the phone in his hand to the omega. "Yeah, fine. I was just about to text you. Jimin had to take a call from work, and I really have to go to the bathroom. Would you mind staying with her for a few minutes? She's asleep, but I don't want her to wake up alone."
"Of course. No problem," Hobi nodded. Normally, for him, there were enough packmates that he would never be left alone. Not that he couldn't be left alone, but it was a bit distressing, particularly during the headier moment of heat, to find oneself all alone. And given that this was your first heat in a while to not spend alone—your first one to spend with them—it made sense that Yoongi wouldn't want to leave you in your own. It would cause him a different kind of distress to do so. 
Yoongi gently rolled you off of his chest so that you lay on your back and he could free his arm. He got up quietly and quickly left the room. When you were alone, you rolled into your other side and whimpered softly. You bent one leg up towards your body, while the other one stuck straight out toward Hobi. He couldn't help but be fascinated by your little feet. They seemed too small to be able to carry you through the world, yet their wear and callouses showed they worked hard to do just that. Seeing how tiny they were reminded him of how quietly you moved through the house. He was still trying to learn the sounds of your footsteps and of your breathing so that he'd be able to recognize you just by that, the way he could the rest of his pack.
It wasn't a secret even though he was trying to hide it, that Hobi already thought of you as his. He'd waited a long time for an omega like you. Someone like him that he could share this pack with, through its highs and lows and day to days. 
He didn't realize he was holding onto your foot, stoking his thumb over the bulge of your ankle, until you spoke his name. 
"Hobi?" You asked, voice gravelly and thick with sleep. 
"It's just me, pup," he nodded. 
You looked around at your surroundings and noticed he was right. It was just him and you. The air around you felt cold, sending goosebumps down your arms despite your internal heat. You weakly raised a hand toward him. "Will you come lay with me?"
Hoseok swallowed and stood up slowly to walk to the edge of the bed on the side Jimin took. When he looked in your eyes, they were clearer than they had been this morning. He stood silently, looking at you, for a long moment before either of you spoke. "I've never been in your nest before, pup."
"I'm inviting you in now. Please come lay down," you said so softly he could barely hear it. 
But he took it genuinely and climbed in over the perimeter to where you laid. He settled several inches from you, but you scooted closer, forcing him to hold you. He knew you'd never do that if you weren't in your current condition, but he didn't refuse you. Instead, he managed to get one arm under your head while the other stroked up and down your back. You pressed your head into his chest and breathed in deep. 
"Have I ever told you how much I love your scent?" You asked. He shook his head, unable to form words around the sudden tightness in his chest, as if his heart and lungs were too big for his ribcage. "It's so warm and comforting to me. Your scent is on every surface in this house, and it smells like love."
Your voice was so dreamy, Hobi wasn't sure if you knew what you were saying, but it filled him with warmth regardless, and his scent fluffed around you. Your hands fisted around his shirt, and you buried your face in him. He liked you like this, uninhibited, taking what you wanted and needed without feeling shy. It was easy to wrap his arms around you and hold you closer. He could only hope you felt as safe with him as you truly were.
Yoongi returned pleasantly surprised to find both of his omegas tangled up in your nest. You had already fallen back asleep and Hobi appeared to be studying every hair on your head. His eyes turned up to meet Yoongi's and the alphas wide smile broke across his face. 
"You certainly made yourself at home," Yoongi teased as he closed the door. 
"She invited me."
"I know you wouldn't be here if she hadn't." 
"What are you looking at?" Hoseok asked when Yoongi continued to stare.
"Just enjoying this moment. Jin would be so jealous if he knew what I had all to myself right now."
Hobi rolled his eyes. "It's not a competition."
"We're alphas. It's always a competition."
Yoongi placed his knees behind your back and leaned over you to kiss Hoseok. The omega's lips were dry, but Yoongi licked across them and they parted, letting him deepen the kiss. 
Hoseok chuckled and pulled back as much as he could in his position. "What are you doing?"
Yoongi shrugged and moved to lay behind you. "Just telling you I love you." He laid his hand on the curve of your side. "She idolizes you, you know?"
Hoseok's eyes widened. "I don't think so."
"She does. She talks about the things you teach her and tell her, like you're some revered master. She wants your approval. Even more than I think she wants mine." Yoongi's eyes roamed over your body, wondering if you heard them. 
"It's not about my approval," Hobi whispered. 
"I know that. She said to me a few weeks ago that she wants to be good so she can stay. I think she's starting to get that there isn't anything she can do that will make me send her away. But she is afraid of disappointing you. I know she isn't perfect, but don't be too hard on her, please?" Yoongi locked eyes with him, and Hobi could see his sincerity in those depths. 
"Tae mentioned earlier that she makes him feel lucky, I guess because even if he lost his family, he still knew them, and he learned enough from them not to let the world get him down. She doesn't have that. I don't want her to be exactly like me. I just don't want her to be all the things they've made her believe she is. It hurts too much. And if it hurts me, with all the advantages I have, I can't possibly imagine how much damage it does to her," Hobi concluded. He gently brushed hair out of your face with the lightest of touches, relieved to see that you were still soundly asleep. 
Before Yoongi could find any way to respond, the door opened once again and Jimin entered.
"Is everything okay?" Yoongi asked.
"Everything is fine. Just some alphas who need to work their shit out, but it's not my problem today, and that's what I told them." Jimin climbed over the chest at the end of the bed and up to the perimeter of your nest. 
"They gave you a hard time?"
Jimin shook his head. "Taehyung on the other hand…well he's getting very sweaty in the backyard right now, and it was a little distracting," he giggled.
"I'm sorry for taking your spot, but I dont think I'm allowed to move," Hobi said without an ounce of remorse.
Jimin shrugged as he moved over the perimeter and laid at the bottom of your nest. "I'm fine right here."
Alpha.
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You'd been asleep for a long time. It was your primary mechanism for getting through your heats when you couldn't avoid them. If you were sleeping, you might have bad dreams, but you could avoid the physical sensations associated with your condition. Your sleep since last night had been relatively peaceful, which you could only contribute to the soothing scents of your pack and even hobi, which surrounded you as you slept. But now Yoongi was missing from your nest, and you needed him. 
Not just needed him there, but you needed him. 
Need alpha's knot now. Please. Your tiny voice in your head begged. You could feel it, the ache between your legs. You could feel the thick, warm slick leaking from you, ready and waiting for your alpha to give you what was yours.
"Alpha," you whined brokenly, alerting the others that you were awake. You had begun to murmur his name a little while ago, seeking him out with your hands and your mouth before you were conscious enough to make a real effort. Hoseok could see that you were now. "Where's alpha," you cried.
"I'm over here, princess," Yoongi breathed from the chair in the corner where he sat, apart from you, but still keeping watch. 
"In the nest," you whined. 
"I can't be with you right now. I'm sorry," he told you. If you were fully yourself, you'd be able to hear the regret in his voice, but you didn't. 
"Why? Give me a knot, alpha. Promise I'll be good. Just need your knot."
Yoongi's hands gripped the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned white. "I wish I could, baby." You began to cry, and the sight of your tears made him ache in a way so much stronger than the strain in his muscle to keep himself off of you. He knew it would be hard to deny himself, but he didn't know how hard it would be to deny you. "Hobi, Jimin, please," he croaked.
Suddenly a hand on your ankle grabbed your attention. You looked down and could make out Jimin's face through your tears.
"It's okay, sweet thing. Hobi and I are going to make you feel better," he said soothingly.
"Alpha…doesn't want me."
A growl came low from Yoongi's corner, but you didn't get a chance to look in his direction because another hand was holding your face and demanding your gaze. 
"That isn't true," Hobi said firmly. "Your alpha wants you too much for his own good. But he's doing this for you. He cares for you so much, he doesn't want to hurt you. You'll understand when this is all over."
If possible, your features turned even more sad. "When will it be over?" You rasped.
He wiped away your tears with his thumbs. "Hold on for me a while longer, little one. Can Jimin and I help you?" 
"Help?"
"We can help make the aching go away. But you have to stop crying first," he told you softly as he continued to dry your cheeks.
You sniffed and scrunched your face, as if you were physically shutting off the tears. Your eyes finally cleared and you looked at Hobi expectantly. "I'll do anything."
He smiled as if he were amused and kissed your cheek. "Good girl. We're gonna make you feel nice and full, okay?"
You gave a muted squeak of excitement. "First let Jimin take off your shorts, okay?" 
You nodded and laid back on the nest. Hobi moved away from you, which startled you at first, but Jimin distracted you with his hands, gliding them smoothly up your legs from your ankles to your hips. He hovered over you to capture your mouth with a kiss. His lips were warm and wet. His kiss wasn't shy or chaste, but messy and ravenous as he licked into your mouth. His fingers dug into your thighs as you kissed him back. You lifted your hips up when he gripped your waistband and pulled the shorts down your legs without taking his mouth from yours. Meanwhile, Hoseok got up to grab the smaller of the two fake knots they had prepared for you. When he returned, Jimin redirected his mouth to your neck, giving you soft sucking kisses.
"Okay, little one." He held the plug in front of your face. "This little knot is all yours. I'll help you put it in, and you can keep it as long as you want."
He could see you were a little confused. You looked to your alpha, who was still holding himself back, but looked a little more at ease. Instead of digging into the upholstery, he held his fist around the pair of shorts Jimin had tossed his way.
"Go on, princess. Let alpha see how pretty you look when you're full," he said, his voice coming from deep in his gut. 
"Let us see, sweet thing," Jimin hummed in your ear. "You'll feel so nice."
You turned your eyes to Hoseok and nodded your consent.
"If you want a knot, you'll have to ask for it, pup," he said evenly. He was teasing, but he also wanted to make sure you really wanted it.
"Please, please give me a knot," you begged pitifully, rubbing your thighs together as you continued to ache for it. "I need to feel it. Please."
Jimin lapped hungrily at the scent gland under your chin while Hobi moved to your lower half. "You've never smelled sweeter, sweet thing. I wanna eat you up," Jimin teased, making you giggle, distracting you from Hoseok prying your legs apart.
Hoseok can say unequivocally that he's never been this close to a pussy in his life—with the singular exception of when he was born. He was surprised to find himself thinking how cute you are. Your sweet little hole didn't really look like his, but you were just as wet and messy and sweet as he gets. Your labia were puffy and he was sure they ached to feel relief. He took a deep breath to steady himself before he dared to touch his fingers to the rim of your entrance. At the lightest pressure, you clenched around nothing, and Hoseok felt the most unexpected shock of arousal ring through him. He didn't need to think before he pushed the tips of his two middle fingers inside of you. It might be more prudent to start with one, but you were in heat and you were more than ready to take him.
Your answering moan filled the room, and Hoseok was glad that Jin took the others out for dinner because you sounded so heavenly, he didn't think the three of them would be able to stop the other four from barging in.
"Such a pretty sound for me, baby," Jimin cooed while Yoongi melted in his chair, wishing he could be closer, but so happy to hear you were being pleased. 
Hoseok pushed one more finger past your slick walls and nearly moaned himself when he felt you squeeze around him.
"You're doing great, little one," he praised as he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you, feeling your muscles loosen little by little. "Are you ready to take your knot, pup?" He asked when he felt like you'd opened up enough. He took your garbled moan and the way you clenched as a yes.
Hobi spread some of your slick from his fingers onto the plug, though it was hardly necessary. Your hole was dripping with it, and he had felt you gush onto his hand before. He looked up to see your face.
"It might hurt for a second, little one. Tell me to stop if you want me to stop," he instructed, and you nodded your head.
Jimin trailed his mouth down to your breast, pulling down your top to expose a perky little nipple, which he sucked into his mouth. Hobi rubbed the head of the plug over your entrance to coat it with your slick before he slowly pushed it inside of you. Your moans were deep and throaty, and he had to bite back his own arousal as your walls closed in around the silicone head. Despite his fears of hurting you, the toy slid in easily until it was buried fully inside you. It wasn't as long as a real knot, and it didn't have quite the same girth as your alpha, but it fit snugly within your walls, and he could tell it was doing just what they'd wanted when you let out a happy sigh.
Hoseok came to lie at your side and turned your face so he could see your eyes. They were fully glassy and happy as they rolled to look at him. Your debauched expression threatened to steal the better part of his sanity.
"How does that feel, little one?" He breathed. 
"So full," you answered and your body wriggled beneath them, but there seemed to be some words hanging, left unsaid, but Hoseok didn't quite know what.
"You can touch yourself, if you want to, sweet thing," Jimin rasped in your ear.
Don't you dare.
You shut your eyes tight and shook your head. "Can't," you hiccuped. 
Understanding dawned on Hoseok and he touched your face. "Look at me," he ordered and you obeyed. "You're doing so well, little one. Such a good little omega for us. You can do it."
You shook your head again. "Can't. Bad," you choked out. "Bad."
"No, pup."
"Let me in," Yoongi said, suddenly standing over Hoseok's shoulder.
"Yoongi…"
"I'm not going to do anything I said I wouldn't," Yoongi argued, but his eyes were locked with yours. "Let me hold her." 
"Alpha," you whispered, holding a hand out to him, and Hobi had no choice but to relinquish his spot beside you, though he didn't move far.
"I've got you, princess," he soothed when he was pressed to your side with one arm behind your head. "Does it feel good to be so filled up?"
You nodded your head into him, seeking out his neck and his thick scent. But he wouldn't let you turn into him. 
"I know, baby. You were made for this. Your body does it so well. But you don't feel totally better yet, do you, princess?"
"No."
Yoongi smiled and kissed your forehead. Taking your hand he murmured, "here, let me show you. It's not bad. It will feel good. You've been so perfect, princess. I want you to feel the best you can."
With his hand covering yours, he guided you down between your legs. He brought your fingers far enough to feel the silicone base of the plug where it was buried inside of you.
"Do you feel that, baby? Alpha gave you that. Do you like it?" He purred in your ear. You whimpered and nodded your head, utterly incapable of forming words with the way his body, his scent and his voice wrapped around your being. 
Pulling your hand back just a little, he pressed your fingers to the puffy, sensitive flesh just above. You mewled in pleasure, moving your hips as you squeezed around the knot. He began to circle your fingers around your bud, appreciating the delicate sounds of satisfaction you made as he guided you. When you moaned, Jimin reclaimed your mouth with a kiss, claiming your sounds for his own. Yoongi left his hand on yours but let you set the pace while at the same time letting his other hand cup your breast, squeezing it harshly. Another set of hands—they must have been Hobi's—held your legs apart when they threatened close so that he could continue you watch as you pleasured yourself. When your moans got higher and he knew you were close, Yoongi pressed his fingers down on yours, adding pressure and ensuring you didn't give up until you reached completion.
"Almost there, princess. You've done so well for me. Come for me, and you can keep my knot in you as long as you want," he urged, and you followed where his words and fingers led you, over the edge and into a chasm of pleasure.
Watching you spasm around the knot took Hoseok's breath away. He'd never imagined or wondered what that might be like, but he thought it was beautiful. He wanted to give you orgasm after orgasm just to see your pussy take it again and again. Your legs wanted to close, and he let them. You curled into Yoongi, taking gasping breaths as he held you tightly to his chest and whispered soft praises. Jimin stroked his hand down your side and up again. 
By the time Hoseok had cleaned you up with a warm, wet cloth, you were falling asleep in Yoongi's arms once again, the plug still tucked safely away inside of you and a satisfied smile on your lips.
"I'll go get dinner ready. I'm guessing we're all pretty much starving," Hobi said softly, gathering a few things to take out with him to tidy up the place.
As he opened the door, Yoongi transfered you into Jimin's arms. Luckily, you didn't wake, and Yoongi followed the other omega into the hall. Hoseok was just entering your bathroom when Yoongi went in with him.
"What's wrong, Yoongi?" He asked, looking at him with startled eyes. The alpha was disheveled and his eyes were still dark with lust, something Hobi found irresistible.
"Nothing,"Yoongi breathed heavily. "I just wanted to say thank you. You didn't have to help, but you did, so thanks."
Hoseok smirked. "I didn't do it for you, alpha."
"I know. But I wouldn't have been able to get through it without you."
Hoseok's eyes grew darker, his smile more mocking. "Did you get through it, alpha? Looks like you're still pretty worked up to me." He trailed his fingers down Yoongi's chest. 
Yoongi's breath turned ragged as Hoseok stepped closer. "Can you blame me?"
"No. It was certainly eye opening," the omega purred. He gripped the front of Yoongi's shirt and pulled him closer. Their lips crashed as he shut the bathroom door. 
Yoongi's hands went to the other man's hair as he was pushed against the door. Hobi's teeth nipped the white flesh of yoongi's neck as he palmed fervently at his thick knot, trapped uncomfortably in the confines of his gray sweatpants.
"It's cruel, you know, to flaunt a knot like that in front of an omega."
"I don't need to flaunt anything to drive you crazy, do I, Hobi?"
"You think I'm worked up because of you?" He chuckled and pulled Yoongi's cock free. "Think again, buddy."
"Are you into my omega?" Yoongi smiled against his lips. Nimble fingers pulled a sigh from him. 
"I've certainly been into her more than you have."
Yoongi threw his head back with a short laugh. "Trying to make me jealous?"
"Would that get you to shut the hell up and fuck me?"
Yoongi turned the omega around and pinned him to the wall. "That's what you want, omega? Should make you beg for my knot, huh?"
"I'm not opposed. Poor little thing doesn't know what she's missing, though," he smiled as Yoongi shoved down both their pants. "She's so small and tight, alpha. That plug isn't nearly as big as you. Wonder if she can take it."
"Maybe you can show her how to take it next time," Yoongi growled as his fingers found Hoseok's hole. "Fuck, you're wet."
"Not as wet as she was. The sweet little cunt on your omega. Never seen anything like it." A wordless growl echoed off the walls of the bathroom, answered by Hoseok's high pitched moans as Yoongi's fingers found the right spot. "Fuck! Enough. Want your knot alpha. Give me everything you can't give her."
"Don't want to hurt you," Yoongi said, voice gravelly. 
"You won't. I know I can take you. Need you, alpha."
Yoongi didn't waste a moment. He pulled Hoseok's hips out, forcing his chest down, so he could align himself at his wet, pink entrance. Once he entered him, he plunged into Hobi's depths with ease. The omega braced himself against the wall as his alpha set a brutal pace. His cries of pleasure were not quiet, but only you and Jimin were there to hear, and you were dead to the world. 
"Fuck, yes. Have to teach her to take you like this. Would you like that, alpha? Want me to teach her everything I know?"
"Ah," Yoongi groaned as Hobi clenched around him, his slick making a mess of them both and dripping down his legs. "Don't think she'd ever learn to talk like you. You've got a whore's mouth, you know that?"
"You love it."
"I do. Now shut the fuck up so I can come. I'm fucking close, baby." 
Hoseok stayed stone still while Yoongi pounded into him, burying himself to the hilt when his knot began to inflate and he came with tired breaths. 
"Are you okay, baby?" Yoongi asked, stroking down his omegas back as he waited. These moments when he connected to his mates were always the most clear, filled with tenderness and love, no matter what words or deeds had brought them there. 
"Feel perfect, Yoon. You always make me feel so good. Missed you." 
"I'm sorry. I know I've been distracted lately." He pressed a soft kiss to Hobi's spine as an apology. 
Hobi shook his head as he leaned heavily against the wall. "Didn't say it to make you feel sorry. It's been a while since we had a moment like that. Like that I can be free with you. Makes things so fun."
"We do tend to have fun," Yoongi agreed. "Come here," he said softly when his knot had deflated. He brought Hoseok to the edge of the bathtub and began to fill it with warm water. Then he helped him in and got in behind him, letting the omega lay his back against his chest. 
"You don't have to stay here with me. I know you're probably anxious to get back to her," Hobi told him after they'd been sitting in the water for a few minutes.
"I am, but I'm not anxious to leave you. The truth is, I've missed you too. I know things never quite went back to usual and now, things will never be the way they were. I feel a little…guilty." Yoongi cupped water in his hand and let it wash down his lover's chest. 
"Don't. It's true, she'll change everything. But everything wasn't so good. Maybe it was a change we needed. I believe it will be for the best, in the end."
Yoongi hummed. "I also feel guilty because I won't be there for your heat."
"I know," Hobi answered, dragging his fingers up the legs that encircled him. "It's not a big deal. I have everyone else. It's not a big thing to me anymore. You need to focus on her."
"I love you, you know that?" 
"I do. And I love you too."
After quickly washing, the pair left the tub, lingering a bit longer over each other's bodies as they dried off before they fetched new pajamas. 
"Go on and be with her," Hoseok told him at the top of the stairs. "I'm gonna go put together something to eat, and I'll be there soon."
Yoongi slipped back into your room, quickly meeting the eyes of a very smug looking Jimin. 
"What?"
"Did you enjoy yourself?" Jimin asked as he petted down your arm. 
Yoongi scoffed. "Did you? Why are you both shirtless? Is she still asleep?" 
You moaned and turned a fraction toward his voice as he climbed back into the nest. 
"She took her shirt off herself and it seemed rude not to join her. She gave me a couple hickies, too, so now we really match. Isn't that right, sweet thing?" Jimin asked with a light pinch to your side. 
You giggled softly. "Mini nice."
"What did you do to her?" Yoongi asked with a smile as you turned to him with a bright, if dazed, one of your own. 
"Nothing. It's just the hormones. She seems to be enjoying all the touching."
You managed to move onto your knees, tottering a bit when the plug moved, but you kept it from slipping out. "No," you said with a cute but firm pout as you tugged at the hem of Yoongi's shirt. 
"You want my shirt off, too, princess?" Yoongi asked innocently. You nodded and continued to pull. "That's no problem." He tugged the garment over his head and threw it onto the chest where your extra blankets were stored. Then he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you against him. "Better?"
You nodded and maneuvered yourself into his lap, pushing him into a reclining position with you on his chest. 
"My alpha," you whispered after you rested your cheek against his shoulder. Yoongi's heart stuttered, feeling at once the weight and the joy of the trust you placed in him.
Fool. You let them make you feel safe. But they're just preparing you to breed. They'll need to know if you can handle it. Why else would Hobi be there? He needs a baby, and he's going to get it from you. 
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You had awoken to a dark room. Your packmates slept beside you. Only a few hours ago had they decided they were ready to sleep and helped you get cleaned and ready for a good night's sleep. You'd kept the plug in for hours until you felt truly sated. But already you were feeling the emptiness ache at you. Your voices had no problem filling the void. 
Would that be the worst thing? I need it. Need alpha.
And when you fail? Will he still be your good alpha then? Or worse, what if you die this time?
"Stop it. Shut up!" You called out without thinking.
Yoongi, who had turned on his side away from you, flipped over in an instant. "What's wrong? What happened?" 
To his horror, you pulled away, just like you did your first time with them, until you collided with Jimin on your other side. "What do you want?"
Yoongi's voice softened in the darkness, although you couldn't see more than a shadowy figure. "Nothing, princess. Just want to make sure you're okay. Did you have a nightmare?"
"No."
A light clicked on behind you. Yoongi's features were soft but full of worry. He held his hands open to show you he wasn't a threat. But the dissonance of the danger your mind wanted you to fear and the gentle man in front of you made your head buzz. You struggled to make sense of what was real and what was your imagination. Was it possible that Yoongi was truly a good man who kept his promises and wouldn't hurt you? Or were your voices correct, warning you that his behavior was all to lure you into security so he could do what he wanted with you? Sometimes, your own brain could be your biggest enemy, but there was no denying that it often tried to keep you out of danger as well. 
Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder, followed by soft lips on your warm back. You jerked away, scrambling backward and almost over the edge of the bed. Yoongi caught onto the only part of you he could reach, your leg, to keep you from falling. In the light, he could see that your eyes were the clearest they had been all day, and yet they were full of fear. Fear of them. He let go of you immediately. 
"Baby, everything is okay. You're safe. You're at home with us," he tried to ground you with his voice, afraid that touching you would make things worse. 
He could do it now. He'll push you down into the mattress and make you submit. And then he'll–
Yoongi watched you close your eyes as you tried to shut out the voices. He gotten better at recognizing when they filled your mind and confused you with paranoid thoughts. 
"Princess, listen to my voice." You opened your eyes to peer at him, and your gaze was heartbreaking. "I'm here, not them. They're only in your head. Tell me what they're saying."
Your lips trembled as you hesitated. It was the same thing he had heard a dozen times. The same thing you thought about every day. You didn't want to tell him again, but his words were a command, and you couldn't resist giving him an answer. 
"You're–" Your voice cracked from so much disuse and you cleared it to begin again. "You're making me f-feel safe but really y-you're preparing to breed me again."
Yoongi frowned but tried to squash his disappointment. He wanted nothing more than for you to trust him. He thought he'd done everything to prove he was worth it. But he should have known trauma wasn't so easy to erase. After all, it was the family that raised for sixteen years that first taught you to be wary of security. He took a steadying breath and looked you in the eye. 
"I made you a promise, Y/N. It was my first promise and I won't break it. Have I given you any reason to think I would?" You shook your head without hesitation. "Do you trust me?"
You wanted to. You were almost certain you did. You nodded your head. 
"Good. You can trust me. I know that these voices have tried to keep you safe in the past, based on your experiences. But this is not your past. It won't be the same, and if you trust me, you need to believe that."
You thought about his words for a moment, and they felt right. The past few weeks were like nothing you had experienced ever in your life. There had been so much safety, and honesty, and affection that it looked like something out of a fantasy. And maybe that's what made it so hard to believe in, but you knew that it was real. Yoongi was real, while the malicious whispers in your head were only that. They were less than air. 
Suddenly, you crawled forward, straight into Yoongi's chest. You felt his arms wrap around you immediately and began to weep. 
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I got confused. Don't be mad," you cried into the shelter of his body.
He shushed you as he held you tight, rubbing circles on your lower back with a firm hand. "It's okay, princess. I told you that I would always tell you what's real. What you feel now, my arms around you. This is real. Out here is real. Everything is okay."
Yoongi let you cry yourself out on his chest, unbothered by his damp shirt. Jimin cuddled close, too, wrapping an extra arm around your trembling figure to shield you from any more worry, if only for tonight.
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A/n: Wow. It's been like, over a year since I wrote any smut, and I've been very anxious about it. I would love to hear any small thing you liked about any of this chapter. I think Hobi was the shining star of her heat, tbh. I love him an indescribable about.
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thatfreshi · 7 months
Text
Greater Than This (Astarion x Reader)
Part 2 to It's Over
Tw - mentions of abuse
Recommended Song: If I'm Being Honest - Dodie
You walk around Baldur's Gate aimlessly, wondering if he'll follow you, wondering if he really meant everything he said. You didn't really mean it, when you said it was over, just something to hurt him the way he hurt you. That's the problem with you and Astarion: you can be so childish at times, always looking for an eye for an eye. Perhaps it's all you know. Maybe it was for the best, to not try and love one another, maybe you just didn't know how.
But then again, how could you sit there and let him become everything he hates? And why would he want that? Had he genuinely convinced himself it would be any different? That he wouldn't fall victim to demonic greed? Or was he truly just petrified, after centuries of being the beaten underdog? It makes your eyes water just thinking about it, the few things he had told you, the times your tadpoles connected and you were witness to atrocities you didn't know existed. It wasn't fair, but nothing is.
He's thinking about it too, the horrors of the kennels, the crypt and the taste of mold. Astarion didn't mean it when he said you were just like Cazador. In fact, he's nauseous at the thought of him even saying such a thing. But he snapped at you, and it was enough for you to say it was over. Were you being genuine? He wasn't sure, but he could very easily believe you'd want to leave him. Sure, he's so enraged, but he loves you truly. Two very hard feelings to balance. Unsure of what to do with all his scattered feelings, he finally makes his way downstairs to join the group.
"Well well, if it isn't the vampire of the hour. How ya doin' Astarion?"
Karlach gives him a slightly unwelcome pat on the back. He tries to think of some snarky thing to say, something sassy that will get a little laugh, but he can only muster up a meek sentence.
"Do you know where Tav is?"
It grips at his heart, how pathetic he felt. Gods, how could he be so angry but so sad? He knows you're often right, that you usually make better choices than him, but did you really make the right choice this time? Was he really so incredibly wrong? But still, you killed Cazador, which he had every right to do.
"They uh... they left a while ago. Seemed very upset."
Wyll takes a sip of his water afterwards, as if to avoid saying anything else.
"Guess it's a good thing I don't burn in the sun just yet."
Astarion leaves the inn, leaving your companions to speculate about the lover's quarrel. He walks around town looking for you, listening intently to all the footsteps nearby. Perhaps it was years of training himself, but he was quite good at determining whose steps were whose. You catch sight of him as you're sitting under a large oak tree, and part of you is furious. But the other part of you screams for him, begging him to notice you. He does soon enough, and he makes his way to the grassy patch beneath the leaves.
"Mind if I sit?"
You don't know what to say. Clearly he doesn't either, as he's questioning if he was even allowed to ask. Despite the confusion in the air, you pat the ground next to you.
"I don't think you're like him."
He wraps his arms under his knees.
"I know. But you still said it."
"I know. I guess I still say plenty of stupid things."
You look up at the sky, thinking about how sunny it is today.
"Did you really want to do the ritual Astarion?"
He lets out a small breath, like a tiny laugh.
"I don't know. I just wanted to feel like I meant something. I wanted to be something greater than this."
"You're already so extraordinary. I wish you could see that."
The vampire doesn't know what to say. How could he ever describe just how horrible he feels? He feels like nothing.
"Me too."
"You don't have to be some grand creature. You can just be Astarion."
"But who would ever respect that? A sad little boy, some meek vampire spawn with no master."
"I respect you."
"I didn't feel respected when you killed Cazador. You undermined me. You've never made me feel like that before, like I was less than you."
You start to cry again, putting a hand on his knee.
"I never wanted to make you feel less than, but I was so fucking scared. You were about to make a really bad decision."
"It just made me feel like you don't trust me."
"Of course I trust you, but it's easy for your view to become blinded when you're processing so much. Going back there, I know it was hard on you, and you wanted to take the easy way out, the path of least resistance."
His eyes meet yours.
"Would you be proud right now, if we were in that palace, if you had become the ascendant? Is that how you'd want to spend your days? Towering over people?"
"No. But at least no one could make me feel small again."
Astarion leans into your side, starting to let go, letting the emotions come and go.
"I know my love, I know you've been made to feel inferior your whole life, but it's over now. I won't ever let someone make you feel like that again."
"You- can't promise that."
"No, but I'll try my damnest."
You lay your head on his, and the two of you cry for a while, as strangers walk by, wondering what two adventurers are doing crying under a tree. Oh how little they know.
"You were right. To stop the ritual I mean. I think I was just angry with myself, how meek I felt."
"I still should've done it with your permission."
"You know how stubborn I am darling. I probably wouldn't have listened."
"I didn't give you a fair fight."
"Are we going to keep trading blame? Or can we just get to the part where we make up?"
You smile, wiping away a tear, and the two of you go in for a soft kiss.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too. See? Easy, we're even now."
"How do you do that? Just, realize you were wrong and move on?"
"It's easy. Or, it's easy with you at least. You don't ever get truly upset unless something matters, and you're usually more grounded than me. I get out of hand quite easily you know."
"Oh trust me, I know."
Light laughs in the sun, a static day with no breeze, just the heat beating down on the townspeople. It's not perfect. The two of you both overstepped, but you love each other enough to work through it, to try and see the other point of view, even if it's after nasty arguments. The two of you are messy, but damn do you love messy. Especially if messy is a white-haired vampire, who you get to spend the rest of your life with once the Elder Brain is gone. You see it now, a big house, and more stupid shouting matches that you'll fix shortly after. The price you pay to be two people trying to learn how to love, learning how to live, freely.
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